Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Top 20 Comics

Episode Date: February 29, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Joe List, Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez, and Dave Temple! The regulars return! We examine Time Out New York's "Top 20 Greatest Comedians of All Time" and bang out an ACTUAL list that you will have a hard time disagreeing with. See the list here: (http://imgur.com/186Fs2C) Watch / Listen and enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? Y no lo sé, dude. ¡On the Riotcast Network!

Riotcast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a cost of fire. This podcast has no rules. It's under the mic, asshole. to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-defying podcast. No rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm not very sensitive.

Can I get a mic-a-puff? Oh, my God. That was trying to keep her like a comic-ass. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's... 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it.

Way both sides to the coin The day my podcast is I might affect somebody's life. You never know No, all right, all right, I cringe every time I hear that fucking dumb line. I think maybe it'd have effect on somebody's life. Dude, maybe my podcast will have effect on somebody's life, dude. Truly embarrassing. The fact that you leave it on is impressive. If that existed of me, I would stop on the tape.

I'd take the cassette and just pull it apart. I did Joseph's art. And it's still on tape. I mean, I would hate myself. It's like somebody taped him and tried to use it against him. And it was like, dude, I'm going to put that in the intro. Yeah, you just keep it right in. That's pretty good.

I use a tape reference one time, because I know exactly what it means. I just think like I podcast might change like a life. Are you insane? Change your life, you fucking thin lib douche. That's true. It did change my life These were in space material today on the shirt You've got a space cat my hands come up a little bit just a little here fucking time I'm sorry. I want to have us control them when they show first started I control my own can

Oh look at this actually when it first that I was in your fucking bedroom My living room whatever All right welcome to the You Know. This is gonna, I feel, you know what I, this is gonna be a clot of fuck. I know I'm getting, it might break someone's heart though or save their lives. I'm gonna break someone's heart.

I'm gonna break someone's heart. I'm gonna break someone's heart. Four years have been on this show. Shout out to the viewers. It's not been four. I've been on for four years. Yeah, I know. You hear March.

Were you here before Scopo? Yeah. Wait before Scopo. That's it. I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting. I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting. I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting, you hear March. Were you here before Scopo? Yeah. Wait before Scopo. That's it. That's it. I'm such a smart Scopo. Buddy, it was taking your side all day today. But I got mad about that one.

I was, I was pre-fastuka. Yeah, you were. And I remember being on the first time, or the second time I was on, still at your house. Yeah. And fucking Lewis blew it off. I remember my mind being blown. Yeah.

Cause this is a big deal to me. Yeah. And Lewis is like, yeah, he just didn't show it. And I was like, that fucking guy blew it off. I remember my mind being blown, that Lewis, this is a big deal to me. And Lewis is like, yeah, he just didn't show it. And I was like, that fucking guy blew this off. And four years later, I would still be shocked if Lewis blew it off. I'd be like, what? I was crossing lines back then.

Yeah. You were a metal shite. And that was, you were just living in God knows just a fallout shelter. Yeah, shirtless. Yeah, but he looked good. Yeah, no shirt. And he just had a black jacket. Dude, Bobby called me two days ago.

He was like, dude, you know, you remember when you lost all that weight and you looked like you were melting? I'm there now. I want to stop looking like I'm melting right now. Actually, I said it funnier. Yeah. I was so wordy. I mean, now I want to not do that like you did that before too.

I imagine you have funny dialogue like in a comedy and he's got action hero dialogue There's a straight man. Yeah, oh, let's introduce everybody The black guy boys just never is like what the fuck are they being robbed? Scope I got some scope. Yeah, and the ykwd podcast being held up But can I tell you something and to do it to everybody real quick? Come on. All right to my right. We have the rattlesnake Lewis J. Gomez here. What are we going to round of whatever it is? We're last dude.

Which goes to the Jones out of comedy. What when did that one happen? What? Run into the Jones out of comedy and it's stuck. The artist became a lesbian. The artist formerly known as the Harrison of MMA radio. Hashtag the show. I'm here.

I listen, it's easier to come up with that shit than new jokes. Yeah. Yeah. So keep going. True. That we have the star of billions dance soda. I've heard no at all. I was in this episode this week, but thank you, Chris. I didn't watch it. It's corporate dance. So do trying not to be successful. It gets funnier and funnier as the years. It's hilarious. It was hilarious. It was hilarious three years ago.

And he's like, I know, me too. I know. Now it's getting just absurd. It's funny. It's just like, I, my career's bullshit. Right now. I didn't say that. So do right now.

It could bias all max. And not even fucking, why are you talking about big max? Yeah. Hey, look at that. It was on the board. And it was clean. Yeah. We didn't have to deal with race or fucking asshole.

That's a slap. Single the right. I just got a heart. A non-N word punchline from Lewis. Very impressive. Then we have the true Joe Lissus here. Yeah. He's not fire.

I want to, I got a good message. Please, please, can we use this? My best friend, Derek, he never listens to the show if I'm not on. He's like most people. But he listened to the Fat Episode. He said it was a may said you'd never been funnier. He's like it's the funniest episode He's like it's the show is back baby because you know the big it stuck for a while He said it was amazing and he said you were incredibly said you're one of the funniest guys ever Thank you very much. Shoe is back. Shoe is back. The show is back. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Oh my god. The show never went that way. Be out, no, you're right. But also, the show is back. The show is back. You're the show, don't you, right? I am the show, but I will let you mind me. I am just confusing to the show for the day.

This is the show for the day. We have Dave Temple, everybody. Dave Temple. Yeah. I'm going to call this show as black. The show is black. The show is black. They're finally have Dave Temple everybody Black History I'm gonna call the show is black the show is I will write I was born in as a god now I

Brought finally honored to my family. Deepu is dressed like the hamburger. He is terrible. He is terrible. How does it? He also have Deepu and Lauren here as well. Oh, yeah. I mean, why did Lauren get such a bad introduction?

I heard. I heard some food and some goes down. We got Kelly if it's still good 2.0. I mean, that's even. We got Scopo, Fat Ascopo, I mean, that's even we got Scopo fat ass Scopo no common sense. C'mon right Scopo. Dumb to the world. Great hair, stupid head.

Paying the ass. I wish you got hit by a bus. Taking forever. Broadcaster hair. He's actually just think about these not even names. And then who do we got on the couch? We have Moses here. Moses. Show. It was going on everybody. on the couch? We have Moses here. Moses!

Show. What's going on everybody? How you doing? Doing well, how you doing? He's Irish Catholic. He's going to tell by his voice. He's already more charismatic than Scopo. Two words in here.

Everybody in the couch is funny than Scopo. I fucking didn't want to come today. And I knew it was going to get it. This is not going to be fun for me. No, no, no, no. Yeah, it's not, no. It hasn't been for two and a half years. Already? Was it good at one point? get it. This is not going to be fun for me. No, no, in the eyes and go, don't talk to me like that. It's a very good scope.

It looks like the villain in all the 80s movies, but he's just not successful or cool. Hey Johnny, if Johnny from Cobra Kai was insecure, you're like, hey, you only take that because you don't like yourself. He's like, you're right Daniel. I don't like him. You won this week. Yeah.

This is Danny prior to Cobra Kai. Yeah, he's all, you know what? You cut through me with words that dumb cring kick. You need to learn to evil martial arts. You need some confidence. Yeah. Where are you? Where an armless key? Can you fix my friend's microphone over here? Temple. I'm gonna film not John Lester. He's got he's got he's got a John Lester. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy.

A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy.

A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy.

A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. A good guy. Lewis watched the Lewis Black especially like I gotta use my fingers more That is why baby James is the best. Sorry. That was Lewis J black You know his laugh I've never been in a room for ease. I'm laughing. He's having a stroke Not cool, bro. What not cool? It's a little Exquisite too many strokes going around this business right now. It's I had a bunch last night I masturbated That's a purposeful bad joke I know it was you gave the Colin Quinn

All right, so listen fuck this is gonna be a tough one for me I said it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck her. I'm fucking a welcome to you. No, I do, dude. What's going to be a tofu? All right.

What's the dumb point? I don't even remember what we started up. Yeah, what's your point, fingers? Oh, yeah. Fucking John Laster came in the show Denver zone. And he was like, oh, I do decide a big deal to get in the comedy. So who cares about the comedy?

So it's just another club trying to get that work, bro. And then I guess the, I don't know if he got an audition or if he got in or what it was. But the next day, he made his profile picture him at the comedy seller and he hashtag seller dweller and I wanted to vomit and it got like 500 likes. And I was like, you can't you can't get 500 likes off the picture. If you claim that it's not a big deal to get into the comedy seller, maybe he was playing a cool liquor girl. Yeah, he made a new already new he had the audition. Yeah, he's like, oh, it's not a big deal.

You know, no work any new Lewis is gonna be paying attention Five comments and I had to delete right before I kept on writing a comment You know your Facebook message me. Yeah, I did I took I took a screen grab and attempted to everybody that was on the show that day Message me as well. Yeah, well, I look man. What are you gonna do? I mean he did he did act when he was on the show He was like yeah, I don't give a shit about that. I don just, you know, I'm trying, I'm in it for the money. I'm, he was like, I'm- Well, he didn't make the lip list. He's gonna be, he's gonna be fucking famous.

And he's going to LA and that's it. And I was like, all right, that's cool. I don't mind fucking confidence like that in your 40s. Well, if I may defend him, if I may defend him, I think he was just saying, you know, that's not a huge goal. I don't think it's the end of, be always what he was trying to say and Well, wait a second. Okay, but we'll lose a saying is that okay, it's not a huge goal. It's not the end

Oh be all okay, so when you get the audition why why you change your profile pic and coming up with a fucking name Cele dwella which by the way I love I love I've been known to hang out on the stairs and talk about it. You want to come to the Okay, I'm glad you have a shirt cuz you put on any shirt, but the one you have on Looks like you made it yourself with white out The dumb thing with the letters and the thing the. The hoody. He was so proud of that. We had a conversation really. It's not Joe five, so first of all.

Hang on a second. If you like that, I apologize. Hang on one second. You don't like my hoody. It's not a shirt. It's a hoody. It pointed out that Joe was wearing a workout shirt that he's trying to pass off.

It was under-armer, apparel. This is good stuff. Joe's wearing Nike Skin Fit. And he's like, I would like the job of the interview. You really you really do look like the fantastic four. All four of them at least it doesn't have symbols on it like a douche like you're doing karate. It's fucking samurai stuff. That's what I said samurai karate. Bobby it looks like a Chinese food menu. Wow. I thought it was pretty good but no no no no dumb dumb goes for the tanker to you but he's not dumb he's dumb dumb

let's use dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb Wow keep that fucking on there there's a dinner in there in there in there Oh wow I'm sitting around in there It's like watching tennis I'm the white Michael Winslow. I really quick. I wonder what, how'd you get this out of the wake? I wonder what, how would it go up with these sticks? I want to thank V Vader Drumsticks right here.

They gave me personalized Bam Bam drumsticks for the television show Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. I want to thank Chad over there. Vader sticks these fucking unbelievable company and they were fucking really great to me. And Ludwig, Ludwig, amazing company. I want to thank you guys for uh... actually help him out with the show bobby wants to thank vader for letting him play him in return of the jet i had

the end nothing yes i know there was two telegraphs uh... the energy telegraph i will tell you will explain what that means to do the energy that he held on to it he kind of made a move a sound and then we did i didn't want't want to dump story he would have you can do

it like held it back and then he was like if it was like he like all the balloon it's I think you know why you cut the third yeah this is the bridge of ball the kids in a way taking shots right now that's all it is. Don't get a bone or guys.

Bobby's nipples. Are you pregnant? Are you pregnant? It's my innards. What do you mean? This is in her. I can't look at it. What is it?

No, bring it over here. It's playing a tab, everybody. My urologist took a picture of my stones, and this is the inside walls of my vagina. What kind of like your kidney stones? Yeah, my stones. Why does your inside of your vagina look like bad teeth? Well anyway, he puts it like somebody burn the inside of your pussy with a finger.

He put the stem in and the stem flopped out of me. He took it, so you got kidney stones taken out? Right, and then he put the stem in and the stem just fell out. Cause it's huge. How many fingers can we get in there? Probably like Army of yeah, this is an army of fingers. What is that? Prove it. This isn't your pussy. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's actually what the doctor said to cut the pictures back

This isn't your really does. Are you sure you're not infected? Wow It looks like you have like a worm family living up. That's the stone. No, that's the actual stone I'm like living up the stone. No, that's the actual stone. Perfect. Look at this. That's the stone right there. Do you have it? Can we have it?

No, it's being tested. I want to make it into like a necklace. I hope you're okay. I'm gonna make some nice earring. I want to make it into a bell. Every time Scopo fucks up, we can ring it. Or you could make it like a necklace like those older necklaces.

No, I'm gonna make some nice earring. I'm gonna swallow like a tyling on one jerk off. Oh, that's pretty erotic Yeah, if you swallowed this just go right back to the track That'd be great. That'd be great. Louis guy Dude this really hurts was it worth the nut Are you all better now though right now they found another one Fucking just I'm an old lady yeah yeah just it's pebbles you come down and scoop up a handful of rocks you fucking cat litter what are

you doing I don't know I just I gotta go in you know you're not telling me I guess I do hide my dehydrate myself all the time but you're sticking something yeah yeah what is it what what what what can you stick up your vagina to make it I think I don't know where isn't that how pearls are made I don't think your pussy is a oyster Yeah, that's it. It is. That's like one Her pussy is a clam. Yeah, and then she puts it so that she's trying to make oysters Oh, she's that what a kidney stone is that just not like calcium deposit right what if you could make a pearl the pussy

Pearl pussy could you do that? Right down the name of the show pro pussy You can put P. P. Asteris SSY. Oh, that's dangerous. That means that's He's so good at this what at naming podcasts That means that's so good at this what at naming podcasts Is you have 85 of them every imagine he wakes up doing it? On the road with Lewis Jacob Wow, all right, it's a concept right beyond the road and I record it Oh, this is great go back to sleep yourself Keith Richards road satisfaction

All water's not the same lose you go mess There's different waters and I review waters on the road. Shoot it with Bobby Kelly. It's like a show where he reviews food. Shoot it. Shoot it. Well, we had a bunch of shit happen this week. I want to say, first of all, Keith Robinson,

my thoughts and prayers are with you, man. He's, you know, he got a little sick and he's in the hospital, he's recovering but he's doing good. He's, I talked to him, he's, you know, he's doing real good. So, you know, I'm, I miss him. I got to work this Saturday night at the seller and I, I forgot, I was like, fuck, this is going to suck. Yeah. Yeah, because I usually go in and it's fucking stupid alt-toids there and I throw them all to pour a diacoconum or fucking piece of chalk. Yeah, that would just look like a mean thing. That would just mean it.

That's what fucking game of stroke. You fucking ate chalk and it's fucking face when it's all wrong. Mr. Robinson, it's a, we did some blood work. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about.

That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking about. That's what you're talking wine. That's what we call that stroke juice here in the yard. And I can just say I'm explaining his diet.

What do you mean? Meat, meat, and outwards. Meat, and outwards. So what is the cholesterol? Ribbon chalk. Meat. Is that what it is cholesterol? Well, there's a lot of...

He wasn't taking his medicine. There's a lot of things that can happen. Partisease. It is a much... Ginger Vitus. Diabetes. No, that's not true. I usually sometimes... I happen. Parties is a much. Ginger Vitus, diabetes. No, that's not true. I usually sometimes, I just heard about this.

It was a ginger Vitus that the chicken, you swallow enough of that shit. Well, most people, I believe back in the day, a lot of people died from not having clean teeth. Infection of your teeth, your gums and shit. Yeah, well, I think that's a thing where they say it like, the, what's up with the pointing? What is the new pointing thing?

What, it's my new technique? Did you take a public speaking class? It's called my new segment, get to the point with Louis Chigelman. It's like, I'm not, even pointing weeks in a row, even pointing. I, I listen, I'm listening.

There's 34 people in here. I want people to know who I'm dressed. I'm dressed in. I know. You know, go ahead. You know. Wow, that was the flattest tire in a long time. You bet.

Yeah. Do you like you swung a bat twice and put it down? Typically the tire goes flat after you've started moving. You drive over something that's still there. You start the car and the tire was fucking honest. I walked up to him. Before he got in, I was like, pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss You start you started the car and the tire was fucking on it Yeah, no, I do fucking need a nap dude. I mean the only person in the room like I think you don't have kids, right? Yeah, you guys too. Where are they? So we have kids here

It's here The on tour The guy that got an away game and fill The run of these coasts swing one of them's playing the jazz I see my kids one of them's on the couch Come on the problem with the joke was I think they're the same age Typically kids are young that would be the funny part old black people Why don't we play again? Let's guess how old the black people are I know you are the start with Moses in Let's start I'll tell you how old Moses is Moses is

Great joke I don't believe you Great joke. I don't believe you Bible once I say Moses 28 Put one finger up I got He's like Kimbo slice age 40 What? What? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna go 35. Okay, again, go. I'm gonna go 27.

I'm going 27. 25, okay, go ahead. Yes! He's gonna price it right. He's gonna price it right. It's like we're trying to buy Moses. Go ahead, go ahead. I'll say 26.

Oh, just coming out. Lauren, how are you? Go ahead, Dave, what you up? Alright, here it is. Okay, go. You know what it is. I'll say 26 Oh God Okay, go you know what it is yeah, I know it like people in town. Oh, old each other That's the nod to give each other when they walk in a room It's not that there's the only black people in the room to spend no to each other's age So man, how you doing 27 you looking good Hello, wait, do you need me to go come on do pee be some trying some 30 to fall. I'm gonna say 32

Deepa was the closest on 31 What did I say any extra you went over you went over I said 29 deep. Oh Bobby wins. I'm going on. Yeah Bobby wins Inche know Nobody's rewinding I win 28 all right. I bet I bet you have 44 How old you know the only guess I guess 32 Got the only guy 34 35 can I wait. I need to look at your pinky finger sticky pinky finger No, I'm gonna change my thing. That's not an old yeah, I would say you're 38

He's got 31. He's got Ashie Pinky Knuckles. Yeah, 35. I'm gonna guess. Come on, go. 37. What do you got, Lauren? 34. What do you got? 43. What do you got? I just turned 33 last week. Yeah! I win! That's my thing. I have middle figures. Okay. I'm trying to get away from all the things I've done. I'm trying to get away from the whole corporate dandruff. I can't hate you. Yapping over what? I said I was going to make sure.

Oh, OK. Sorry. All right. So, um. Finnistone, how tired you are. No, dude, the thing is with the kids. You know the kid thing. You get up at eight.

And you really, I believe that guilt and selfishness is the key to a good marriage and a good relationship with your family. You have to leave, be selfish, to the point where you feel guilty and then go home because then you have the energy to be around your kids and your family. I don't know what you're talking about.

If I'm home all fucking day with my kid, by the end of the fucking day, I feel like I'm like, oh shit, I need to go out, do something right, or go to the, come here and do this, where I'm like, I miss my kid, I wanna go home. I haven't seen him all day, and feel kind of guilty like, oh shit, I wasn't, because I could stay home. I can just stay home, I don't have to go

and write something or go here, or go to the, you know, wherever, the gym, or whatever. I don't need to do anything, I can just stay home. I don't have to go and write something or go here or go to the, you know, wherever, the gym or what I don't need to do in the church. I can just stay home all that. You need to go to the gym. You know what I mean? Seriously, Bob? That's not my point. You just throw it.

But he does it. Yeah. Just collect the sticks on the table. Sorry. We downed criticized. Right. Exercise a diet here. But you know, Judge Kelly.

Yeah. But you agree with me when you feel when you leave and you do shit You feel a little guilty and then when you go home I make you now that I'm not living in the same house. It's a little different is now I want it like I feel guilty all the time that I'm not there So all I want to do all day long is So when I'm there, it's not like I'm like I should leave and fucking it's a different perspective, but you know what I'm saying when you get out Lewis, you're free You're also a GC filly. No, first of all I'm a great father to my kids

Yeah, you live right next to them. No, you know I If I had to see my kids once every three months, I'd be a great father to bring them to the fucking it's every it's once a week I still like I'm here five six days a week, but then I go home and I do like a bunch of shit Like what skate I just rub liquor stores Just twice Lewis First of all this one right behind He's creeping up on me. It's a one guy right there. We don't rob liquor stores. We do fight at Chuckie chief

That brings me back to my child throw chairs and diner fights Yeah, that brings me back to my child. Throw chairs and diner fights. Getting to a scrap of the McDonald's employee, that's out of the Lewis J. Gomez handbook appearance. It's all on World Star. Yeah, even as a black guy, I don't understand what they're fighting about at Chuck E.G. Oh, that was great.

How you get into it with another group, right? Dude, let me, you know why I moved out of New York City? The bullfits. How was that? Huh? There we go. Yeah, I'm on it Jesus Christ

We're chatin deep whose name I only got one line in so I was at the babies are us in Times Square Which was my babies are trying close on? What? Please explain how that would make sense. Yeah Doesn't even exist Yeah, I would if exist. She came out. She just came out of my mouth. Yeah. If you said eating clothes would make me kind of sense, like me, something.

Yeah, I was like, what? I was like, oh, baby. So I wish I'd fucking slept last night. I should've took a nap. I should've fucking took a nap and ate better yesterday for this fucking show. What I loved about that is that Lewis, I think there was a moment when we thought like this might be a thing.

Like he said it was like, baby. It was a bad idea. That is whole act. It was like a half-court shot. Fucking he's like, that could be and then it just fucking clangs up. My fault for something. Like, uh, geez.

But I was at what? There's no buzzer. I was at baby's RS and I saw this lady with her twig on clothes. Twig on clothes. Oh, that's my... I saw the lady in like, how's that baby's R.S. And I saw this lady with her kids. Twins on clothes. I saw the lady in like, spit in another lady's hair. Yeah. But they both had their kids, like their kids, little kids. Well, they actually, two of mother fucker caught me.

And the lady was like, fuck you, you fuck. And they started fighting and pulling hair in front of their kids. That's what I was just saying. And the boy, this is what I hate about white people I hate about white people if there was time to go here probably was white people no it wasn't white people it was uh... it was uh... I think it was a Spanish girl and a black girl it sounds Spanish-y

oh no it's a Spanish girl a malato girl and a white lady malato what is this the 80s? white lady by racial butt white lady probably cut her or some shit. I didn't know. And then the Spanish lady cut her. And no, it was spitting her hair. No, no. And then they flipped out on each other.

But I'm like, thanks. Your kids, your fucking kids are right there. But I'm way into that. I wanted to be spitting my face. I did, I almost fucking, yeah. It was a guy on the subway. Yeah. We were, me and James is a packed subway car.

He's in a stroller. This guy goes to get up. but we're not stopped yet. We're like pulling in fast into a subway station. So I have to hold on to the thing. So he's getting up to try to leave and he's pushing the stroller and me. But I'm trying to like hold on to it and he's fucking pushing the stroller dude.

I was like, I literally was like, buddy, what are you doing? And then he started like, he was like, I guess he was like Asian, but he didn't speak English. He started like cursing at me in Asian, I guess. Yeah. And dude, I mean, it took everything inside of me not to just fucking punch him in his jaw. Right.

Because my kid was right there. He can't. You can't. Oh, but it killed me inside, dude. I had that in the airport. Matches with me. I was holding his hand. This fight was like eight in the morning,

this drunk fucking asshole lady was walking towards him. And I knew she was gonna bump right the fucking to him. And I literally just went, I just just pushed her I go back off and she went don't touch me I go don't fucking touch my kid you drunk and ass all and she went but you don't walk away eventually you're gonna have to point someone in front of your kid show your kid that you're not just all talk like you back it up now that's not true that's not true all talk like that's back it out now. That's not true. That's not true That is some that's some Philly show

That's Philly that's Philly that's not it your kids and you can you got a go for Come on right Yeah, but you don't want your kids to be speaking It's a You don't want your kids to be speaking up You talking to the phone microphone you don't want your kids to speak up on a train I don't know what the fuck is going on here. All right look you don't want your kids to speak up on the train And then someone punched them in their fucking face and they don't know what to do with the microwave It was yeah, look hard. I don't want to hear you

You don't have to fucking teach your kid how to hit look you don't have to punch so many in front of you That's actually in stealing fear And and hatred and rage. You're actually exposing your kid to fear. Wait a minute, it's because we're out there. I'm holding him over a snake pit. Yeah, it's fair out there in the world. That's two.

If your kid sees you hit somebody, okay? You're actually, he's gonna be afraid. He's gonna be scared. Me? Yeah, of you. No, not if I'm protecting my fucking kid. If you're actually he's gonna be afraid. He's gonna be scared me. Yeah, I've you know not if I'm protecting my fucking kid If you protect the kid is totally different time you don't it's a F-t-bubby it's not black and white because I think what you're saying and you're right to a certain degree if there is somebody Yeah, whoever Causes harm to my kid or me in front of my kid of course you have to fucking defend yourself

And yeah, the lesson there is yeah, you don't let somebody hit you. My kid's gonna get into martial arts. He's gonna learn how to defend himself. I'm hoping in my life, I never have to hit somebody in front of my kid. And if I do ever have to hit so many in front of my kid, as we could see, put my kid or me in danger. That's it. You don't have to do it.

You're saying you have to do it. You kids have to know what you're made of, man. You're right. Otherwise, they're gonna test you when you get up. Where do your kids live? We mean, they're gonna test you when they're gonna go. I can't, hang on a second. Oh, no one here ever wanted to fight with dad. No one ever here ever wanted to fight. You know, they're gonna test you when you get away to your kids. Look. We're gonna test you We're gonna go Oh, no one ever heard my

Mine was gone Because he hits somebody in front of me Yeah, I want to my dad. I just did it. My kid first of all we live in Westchester. Okay, my kids Not gonna solve a more reason you don't want your kid to happen to hang out in a different neighborhood with some real-ass kids He's not gonna Bigger go miss my kids gonna have a baby James He's gonna be my protected your kids protecting you have a good kids protecting me and no homes kid Dude, that's I'm hiring you. That's always one of my biggest fears and my girls who go to like spring break is some shit girls Yeah, I got two girls. Oh, fuck. I can beat the shit out of you

I've been waiting to test you pop pop pop pop pop I've been waiting all this years. I've been watching one time almost fighting you to sleep because I knew you were at your weakest I'm gonna strike down. I will be the head of this household Dave lives by some crazy rules. This is the most ridiculous This is the most ridiculous fight Temple of has tag temple of baby with anyone put causes their eyes This is the most ridiculous fucking He's talking about his girls testing him someday No, not just me. I do just rip her wig off. Have you seen fucking girls in it?

I'm gonna jump him on the group girls fucking fight They are not not white shit again white girls in Westchester. I'll threaten to take her phone away and she'll settle right now I'll take away her fucking beamer. It's a stop. That's the best of that's a promise. He's talking shit on First of all who's wearing fucking what is that smell? Is that you? Who's wearing fucking what is that smell? Is that you? No, I showered today. No, it smells like fucking my homies perfume.

Maybe the mic business. I smell it. Oh, maybe it's the mic. Yeah, what's your biggest fear? What's your biggest fear besides? I don't want my kids to be what else. What's your biggest fear? I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't want my kids to get into a fight with some real-ass kids and he don't know how to handle themselves and it gets filmed and uploaded. You know what? They're the beyond world-star getting their ass glued. Beat the fuck up because you don't know how to hit it. What if they, it's another level though because now when you get beat up it's also going to be broadcast to the world. You used to be a couple kids behind the school. I don't want you to pretend it was a tie. I Don't watch that shit. I don't fucking like that. I don't like people beating on some fucking I hate that and I like his bullies when bullies threaten is somebody physically and this other kid just comes out of nowhere and says fuck it

You don't even better than that. I love the bullies pick it on the kid and then the kid goes to hit the bully and then the bully beats the shit out of nowhere and says fuck it. You don't even better than that. I love the bullies. Pick it on the kid and then the kid goes to hit the bully and then the bully beats the shit out of that kid. Yeah, but the bullies are brutal. Yeah, that's how. Yeah, I mean, dude, the girls are showing up to other girls houses. They're pulling out the fucking house. I saw that.

I saw that happen. It's really hard to touch yourself. Watch the kid meet the shit out of the hood. That's not what I was saying. What are you saying, Dan? When I was in seventh grade, this kid Nate, he moved to our neighborhood from Las Vegas Yeah, and him and his family like they were pretty raw like him and his older brothers two of his brothers were in like jail

They were like swole they were fucking like Jack dude Well, I don't know what swole me these big black dudes moved into our neighborhood Thank you this kid Eric this Mexican kid name Eric got no fight with mate on the bus. Why does this sing it This kid Eric, this Mexican kid name, Eric got no fight with Nate on the bus. Why do you have to sing it? You got into a fight, I don't know. Anyways, they got into some shit on the bus and then I was riding my bike home one night

and it was snowing and Nate was walking down the street and I was like, Nate, where are you going? He's like, I'm gonna go to Eric's house and fuck him up in front of his mom. And I followed him and he went to the front door, riding the doorbell. Eric's mom answered and I was like, across the street watching and he goes,

is Eric here? She goes, yeah, hold on. She gets Eric. He walks to the door and he just starts fucking saw him. And his mom was screaming bloody murder like, get off of him. He was just holding his shirt and then he just whopped his ass in a way.

And it's not a white, it's not a white blood. It was great. I don't like that. I can't be back then. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I'm all over.

Listen, shut the fuck up. It's all gonna change when you get a fucking kid and your wife calls you up one day. And if your wife has to watch your kid get fucking pumbled in your doorway, that's fucked up to me. I don't like it. I don't think it's funny. I don't think it's fucking right.

And if you're teaching your kid to be that fucking piece of shit, you're a shit parent. Like, I agree with you, teach your kid out of the fed himself, but I'm not gonna teach my kid violence. I'm not gonna teach my kid. The only time my kid's ever gonna see me violent is if I have to protect his life, that's it. Other than that, I'll teach my kid,

try to teach him tolerance, try to make a lasagna. Try to, archery, yeah, I'm dude. I just, put him in the corner. I just imagine him lighting the arrow. Max, you reach the final level. I was like,

I'm just, did you send him? Did you, man, when I used to get into fights, I felt bad for the kid's mom. Oh, you always felt bad. This kid did not. That kid that had to go home, and his mom was like crying, and what the fuck happened to my little boy? No, you never tell kids mom. I always felt bad. This kid did not. That kid, that kid had to go home,

and his mom was crying, what the fuck happened to my little boy? No, you never tell your mom. Yeah, most kids don't tell me. Yeah, I don't tell my mom to my ass. Yeah, I don't tell my mom to my ass. I'm going to call you. Let's get you mom to send her a cemetery.

Yeah, you learn that, because I came home at like 12 once after getting my ass kicked. I got sent back out. He's, he's, he's, he's stepped on Joe's great line. I didn't. It'll walk all the way down to the cemetery to say

Your mouth passed away. How do you step on that one? That was a fucking good one I just teach your children fucking compassion and understand that's Medication yes, you know the fight. Yes. No fight. No fight Why do you just give dudes hand jobs you pussy shut up? Yeah? I say you put your small child on a giant wheel that he has to push But it's all this is all fear bay It's all I know it's the same thing with guns I grew up with Icis I could fucking YouTube videos You get this is 10,000 YouTube videos, but there's 300 million people this I mean that me people fight

I'm not I'm not felt close to a fight in 15 years of my life. You walk away. You fucking exist. Very easy. You're a fuck up. You're like fuck you. You're having any given time. Scopo remember when you got my nose broke? I wasn't looking for a fight.

I didn't get your nose broke. What? Whoa stop stop stop stop stop stop. Stop stop don't even fucking go into it. What happened? Scopo bomb so bad. That is no. No. First bump. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We're doing a show scope was the first comedian to go on right of course But yeah, I don't okay old all and he's got lucky draw He's got got back our given scope oh shit

They don't like what like what dude boo get off the stage. He says one more thing and I Well Lewis why would you fucking do that then? That was a man. I was in there at that time, right? So no, no, no. So Chris Cotton is hosting the show. Wow. After the show, after he takes off Scopo, Chris handles the situation about going, hey, y'all, I get it, y'all from a bad neighborhood.

I'm from a bad neighborhood too. I will fuck y'all up. Y'all need to shut the fuck up. That wasn't me, that was it. Hang on, hang on, you're gonna have your time in court. Chris Cotton, not Chris Scopo. Oh, Chris Cotton said that. Oh, I was gonna say, he grew up, I wasn't made I got hang on hang on you're gonna have your time in cool Chris cotton not Chris go Oh Chris cotton said that yeah, I was gonna say he grew up. I get nice day really clean Dally and a fucking Italian bakery his bombing set them all to the point where they were like fuck this show

We got you know, yeah, so they were just I was making them laugh I had my black material. I was fucking killing black material then I go into wait stop stop stop. Did you say you were killing with black material? You mean your big ass jokes? Yeah, I was fucking killing with that. Yeah, then I go into all the shit and then you were killing. I was doing okay Scope. Scope. You're doing okay. Scope, we've ever been to Scope. I had them laugh. I had them laughing Skopo. You're doing okay. You're doing okay.

Skopo, we've ever been to Skopo. I had them laughing. I had them laughing and then I went to other shit and then it went to Skopo. I know it's not okay with 200 people that were happy to be there. Sorry. First of all, that was just mean.

That was just mean, too real hard. I don't know what it meant to be. I just had a false to begin with. And then I was going to other shit and then they just sucked and then I was like, fuck it. And I just was talking and then that's when they'd be like, boo, you stink and then I was like fuck it. And I just was talking. And then that's when they be like boo, you stink. And then I go back and forth with them. And that's when Chris came on

and basically cursed them out. I was doing okay. The only difference in Scopus story is that he was doing okay. He wasn't bombing. What the hell is that man? They were booing him because he was doing okay. Sorry.

No, but I would ask the answer to that. I could go and ask them. I could go and ask them. I said, back to them. All right, the guys, you really can't fucking talk over each other. We've got to show it to you right now. All right, so I'm ask that it's such high standards of I said back to them. All right, the guys you really can't fucking talk over each other. We've got to show it for you right now. All right, so I'm the second of last comic to go up. Yeah, I go up.

I don't have any problems out of these guys, but they go to pay the check and they go to get out. Chris brings up the last comic. He put some up there. Cotton. Yeah, excuse me. Chris cotton brings the last comic. I'm in the green room.

Yeah, somehow as they pay the check and leaving, they approach Chris in hallway. Scopo. Chris Cotton. I'm gone, Bob. Excuse me. Everyone did their spots on left. Just the last show at a night. It's like 140 in the morning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the green room. Sounds fun. Scopo just threw a fucking grenade in the room and left. Just a deal. The guys got close to Chris about some of the shit that he said on stage. And Chris did know what else to do. He punched the one guy in the face and comes running in the green room to get me for

back. Chris cotton ran. He punched the guy first and then ran. He ran. He ran very slow. Okay. He ran into the green room, came in and got me for backup. And now he's winded.

So these guys, they file into the green room. Them too and their girlfriends, you know There's nobody in there, but me cotton the two dudes and their two girlfriends Wow the girls are there Yeah, the girls that that's how my nose got fucking broken cuz I did knock that bitch out. Yeah, all right. I explain She's coming for it Once they come into green room and we beads off and let's go. We all rumble. You're beads and prayer beads on at the time Kiss him. Yeah, yeah, it's a kiss them put them all up here. I got this one. It's like when you take your hoops Jesus was helping you. Yeah, Buddha a lot. Oh, is it Buddha?

No, it's a good. Jesus should have helped you with your head movement Well, that's what happened fucking Chris points the guy again. We all start brawling I hit the guy with an eye shot that it turned him around He stopped for a second, but then his girl came over and she's swinging at me with what her hand, okay? So I take my eyes off the guy and I'm like deflecting the girl I didn't hit her back and the guy fucking hit me in a face with a chair like Yeah, he had the folding chair and he So that shot broke my nose and that kind of ended this shit and nose looks great by the way

Yeah, it's like a broken April. I know what most broken nose so so you know what guys knows before that So your nose is broken the girl now How do they leave did they just leave? Oh, not a cop the cops got called the cops had to come in and sort everything out They all go in the jail at first. No one won't even a choke slime to everybody So they gave you that I know what they did they said you you're all going to jail unless you all drop the charges No, no, they called the owner To come in

and open up the security camera thing. So they can see the footage that those guys are. Did they have to watch Chris bomb again? Yeah. Like, hey, we've rooted the problem, chief. This Italian guy goes up first. Looks like he pisses off everyone in the room pretty bad. One of his jokes, you let me know what to do.

I'll cut the audio as soon as you can't take it no more fucking let them all go I would have fought too. I did I did seven years of child porn detail. I watch every day This is the worst thing I've ever seen We got to get that scub on kid off the streets Causing black on black crime He's the crap cocaine of 2015 My point being scub willuffle causes riots with his act Point being I'm I've been looking back at every riot scopo was in that town opening

You know that he was sitting passenger seat in Reginald Denny's truck Did you know he was there when the OJ verdict was read. Yeah, and he went bullshit right as they said in his face. And I do the last year in Baltimore, Chris Gopo was open as always reading the verdict. And the fire just started. Someone said that he arrested Freddie Gray. You know that the tsunami was actually that how he was looking.

He was looking calm. Oh shit. Yeah, Freddie Gray and Sandra Bland both stopped by Chris Gopo. Yeah, he was just in the van with him telling jokes. Fucking Scobo's. He's like, I gotta be in part. I'm not, I wasn't lurking around the hoods of Philadelphia. I'm up the term Pike telling jokes in Times Square.

And you gotta be ready in the event that it goes down. At any given point, at any given point, and go down. Yeah, but can I say something? Most people are joking. What's up ass saying that? Yes, you can. Can I point? Just you, use your finger or say, can I say something?

Either one, you can talk.. I've locked up his finger There's a reason that if it guys like me you end up in a situation like that because I wasn't gonna let them roll on my front But Joe list would just let us Get up. Yeah, Louis get talking with that as Wait, can I just tell you the one fight I got Yeah, I don't know she's super hot she's telling the story It's got that thing in it She's got that

Sorry, I thought I was gonna blend into all the places her pussy's like eating pussy in sand Her pussy's like eating pussy in sand Good, so this girl came up from behind me at a bar and she yanked on my hair and I don't fucking know But I'm so bad You wait that's the story story That's your self defense you're like a fucking squint. You just inked. That's the ex-man. That's the ex-man. That's the ex-man.

You pulled her hair. Exactly. She's like, let it go. They don't fuck with you. You should have done it. I didn't realize I'd see my pants like on the car. I can't. The smell of piss makes them scatter.

It pulled. It has been. So I just don't, I don't, I don't, I look, I've been in a lot of fucking band situations and I don't believe in doing that to your kids I think you're right. I think that you teach your kids how to defend themselves Absolutely, but I think Joe's right too. You don't instill fear and anger and rage in them I agree you don't show them that I don't speak my kid. I don't fucking hit my kid

I don't yeah, I don't even yell at my kid. I yell at your kid. Why? He's an asshole I don't yell at him one time he He you know he bit me once really cool and I was like max and got scared. And I saw fear and I was like, oh shit. But aren't you afraid? Aren't you afraid of him growing up to be like, damn, aren't you? Okay, yeah, exactly. He's gonna start slapping you on the toilet in 15 years.

You're like, damn, damn, fucking max, what are you doing? That's not, that's the myth by the way. That's really even like the bad kids are the ones who weren't spanked. Yeah, you go to any prison in this country. You think those kids weren't spanked? My mom beat the shit out of me, and I am scared of all you know.

Dude, my dad was in Vietnam. He screamed at us every day. Yeah, that's what happened to you, pussy. The pussy fell out, put her down screen. I was like, I was fucking him crawling in some hole up, you know, it's some agent orange. Exactly. And he had a boyfriend came over,

he'd start cleaning all his guns and then he'd go, now she's got a twin grown in a twat. I, uh, whoo, that was a T2 tattoo. Yeah. Right that down for a show idea. T2 tattoo. You're not tattooing, bro. Hey, I don't believe that.

I don't think you have to, you don't hit your kid. You don't have to hit your kid to fuck this. That's what the only time will tell. You know, the yellow to me, there. I actually brought my kid over, and I'll just say max, we don't do that. They just don't know. If your kid doesn't have sentences to put together to go, I want this or I don't want to do that,

he's going to bite you or do so. So you got to kind of bear with him through that. It's a lazy solution. It's a lazy solution because it's much healthier. It's my kid if he goes to touch a hot stove, it's very easy to smack his hand and say no, don't do that. And then he associates the pain that I gave him Why am why is my kid ever gonna associate pain that I've been fucked it on

That's crazy to me crazy that is literally fucking the craziest thing ever crazy shit ever I got the wooden spoon I got smacked up that stupid my mother had a fucking wooden paddle that said fuck psychology Yeah, my mommy's a fuck me up my mommy's a punch me straight in the face I got jacked in the face once Trish just hit me with a solid straight right. I got punch the face wants to into a hamper. I got it with a ring Once guys I just hit punch in face every day. Yeah, but they died early. They had to get it all in Like listen, we're gonna get all the hits We're not gonna be around

Technically you've done nothing wrong, but this is for like, you know, when you're like F-Y-I we're not gonna be here in the golden years My mom had so many bracelets that had like dense in them You know she would always drop elbows on you like Macho man She was doing these little hair like these She had the top of the couch Dave's on the ground. I'm about to install a little bit of punishment.

A little bit of a little bit of punishment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't do it. I thought my mom too. That's pretty good. Not next to his not as good compared to Dan That's actually not a bad that's actually that's how hogan and brother got it That's how it's okay Brother would say brother every once in a while you understand like macho man taking a shit Somebody get a body. I feel like I'm gonna get him right dude if he had a brain in your is him right now I want to give Macho man the band-in I

That was open. I would have kicked scope on the face Yeah, we don't have open things here. I I don't believe in it. I'm not hitting my kid And I don't want to scream at my kid my kid's gonna learn fear. He'll learn fear it'll psychological My kid, my kid's gonna learn fear. He'll learn fear, it'll psychological. Like, you should just have that joke when kids have fear. It's in you. When Michael Jackson held his baby over the balcony, it's not a kick in its little legs.

Remember, he would say that shit. He knew heights. Like the baby instinctually knew, I fucked this, put me back in, you fucking queen. You know what I mean? Baby blanket Blank it. I just you know, I'm it's hard though man. It is hard because you it's easy to go You know stop that and smack his ass. So I do my roommate

When Becky on takes my provola like stop it. No, what did you do? But I need I need She's this hurts me more than her to you. Yeah, oh dude. I remember yeah We said provolone. I thought I was a depression medication. Oh, that sounds good. Oh, the fucking tone is though It's not a joke. Just say what I thought don't try to Sorry, you can't do that. You always do that you pretend your jokes on jokes you know what you do you fucking yell whatever else is telling stories fucking awful I'm so funny to see him yell a little mouthful his oh my god that made me fucking this is what you haven't had me back on Tuesday's with stories. Oh

By the way if you'd like to hear the that story that the devil for Chris cotton you can hear a done our podcast I've ever hope just Chris and no other shouting and yelling and screaming and Just Chris is a lot of fucking yelling and screaming today. So gee, you're right. Just stop talking over it. You're right I do I actually back in my back right came out of the gym stuff powder smell of women's deodorant

doesn't fall Hey, you're still now, right? Yes, very Are you saying? Yeah, really? Yes, nothing nothing are you crushing No nothing I am crushing dry-humping my pillow every night You know you this is what it bugs me. No, I'm not being modest. I'm not getting fucking I know it bugs me about you. Yep, I was saying earlier. Yeah, this is a process you

Kill it. Yeah, you know I'm not though. I'm not fucking with any button This fake anger. It's not the game. It's fucking getting frustrated. It's not no for you don't get frustrated very fresh You're so perfect. You don't get mad is fake anger. You have a perfect watch me losing madden I'm a fucking psycho path that that I agree with a video game. Yeah, not in your perfect life that's progressed Perfect. How was the progress? You have so you have millions in the bank You fucking single your crushing box and you don't tell us I'm not crushing what you let us in I have very little money in the bank. Why don't you let us in you have thousands of in the bank thousands? Thousands hundreds of thousands. Oh God. You got a thousand no

No, you have 20 you have 30,000 dollars in the bank. Yes, you do what? No, well, I got to pay my taxes. So that's gonna be half but you probably got taxed a bunch I got taxed a bunch, but I'm still gonna have to pay listen Oh, I'm gonna have to pay no one He's a lot of back. I'm not crushing it would you bang Lauren? Yeah, I wouldn't if she I wouldn't why I know too much. I know too much about it. I don't care I don't know I don't know that much a bunch of wife Don't you can't bang that stop me Look at it's it's it's dick will be all sliced up. Don't care. Oh, yeah, I don't care

I'll come in that looks like a sharp sharp piece that looks like the fucking sand monster and return of the Jedi my favorite movie It would be an honor to have what he said sir. That all right. I'm just not talking just that I yell over everybody So you're doing a bitchy hot chick Are you a little fat? No, I swear to see how much you guys are all fucking talking over each other right now you fucking Point a little fat. You guys what is he how much you guys are all fucking talking over each other right now you fucking What why would you you know this the person who is so why did you just always afraid of everyone being mad at him It's just a cunt to me every single day. I realize is every fucking sni remark on Facebook every snide remark on fucking Instagram I said you picture was awesome. No, you're a cunt. You're a picture was awesome. Yeah, so you're not a good friend That your picture was awesome. You're a fucking asshole. You're not a good friend.

Whoa! Whoa! You dare you break up this trilogy. This is my A-Team! Whoa! You don't break up the A-Team Salami. For what it's worth, everybody's been shouting and yelling. It was usually yelling at you because you're the biggest pussy amongst everyone here.

I've told people. I said your picture was awesome. And then, I made a joke. And this is the problem. I'm gonna compliment you now No, I don't want one. I want you fucking just a compliment that friend So Here's what I like about Louis and here's why I can be kind to you because comedians have become very Sensitive and douchey and there's only a very few

Comedians that you can actually bus balls with. Yeah. And so I am a comedic genius of sorts. So when I have a zing, there's only a few people you can direct it towards. Right. Now you're a guy that behaves that way and enjoys it. So you get a lot more. If I fucking write on Soda's wall, hey, you're a douche and you smell weird,

I'm gonna get a call and you're like, what's up, dude? Soda's not really that way. But you know what I mean. Oh, yes, I did. And Bobby, I thought was that way, but you know what I mean. Oh, yes, and Bobby I thought was that way too, but you gotta be careful with Bobby. Bobby will lose his shit all this I lost my shit one time on you because you you you got to admit you were a country that that was a Content to do. I thought you were a country also though. He gets into these little content now

I'm the nicest guy of the group. I'm actually the country. I'm gonna be I'm not even in the group and I can see that see Listen What's your name again? Dave. Okay, no kidding. That's passive aggressive. That was a little real. Listen, no kidding. Little Keith, come on, little Keith. So I got joke. I give jokes to the people that I feel like our bust Bali kind of people. He was right. I should have made an announcement at the beginning of the show that there's a lot of people yapping over each other. Okay?

And that's, I'll tell you why. And this is my doing this for five years or whatever. You three know each other very well. You know you're ups and downs, how to talk. He's new to the group as far as being on the show. He doesn't know when to fucking chime in, you know, as far as you three go. So it's hard to fucking, so you got a guy who's literally by himself on the show for the first time trying to have his

opinion and you three guys who meld well together. And then me, who I'm a little off today, because I'm a little tired, and you guys are fucking, you know, young tigers with, you know, flyins, fucking come to attack the, I have like a gray eye, and my tail's broken. I love it though. It's a great way to describe us though so

Keep going and then you got fucking people who is actually fucking doing some stuff today He's the zoologist watching all the time So it's a little it's a little but he Joe is right is a little fucking screaming over each other And he called you out because he knows you can take a hit no, I don't like that. Well you do you yet you scream Take a boom take it. No everybody's been screaming over each other To point me out because I'm the one who could take it is just fucked up Well, you would do it. I'm talking about that's other stuff That's the quips and the lines and the funds and the jokes

That was just you were doing it at the time and it was fun and I also try to get laughs here I got a big laugh I got a good laugh, but yeah everyone's been yelling. I'm just not your friend anymore. It's fine Stop Why are you gonna do that? I mean, you're fucking time what you this what you do you you fucking you That's a good that's a good move. I agree with that move. Just blow it all up Listen, you're not defraining Joe No, you won't first of all you're not gonna do that because you need him to get more likes on your

That is true whenever you link him in a picture Another boy likes it. He's the only guy that will fucking give you a compliment But somehow compliment himself also inside of your compliment to you The word me will be in his compliment to you also. I talk about what a great dad you are all the time to everybody I'm very excited posted on Instagram and Facebook. What a great dad you are can I say something though That's your fallback anytime you make him feel bad. You always go to that dad thing. Yeah It's a little old. It's a look. I know but I mean of course is a comedy. Yeah, you're a comic That's what I do. That's what I'm a fucking boot. I see the best in people. He's a little old from I know but I mean of course he's a comedy. Yeah, you're a comic book That's what I do. That's what I'm a fucking boot. I see the best in people. He's a good dad

Yeah, good nothing else. Yeah, I'm like, he's not gonna be that way. We supposed to do what we're gonna say is good act I tried to be friends with him for years. We are friends. We want to friends and brunch ended We went to brunch a bunch of times and one time I went Robbie Bernstein and it was fucking jazz and there's a full jazz band behind my head and the baby was all Acting up and crazy. I think you fed him. Yeah, I know it wasn't about Joe I never saw you. No, no, it's not I wasn't like this isn't about me literally we did not hang out You would chase in the kid around which is fine. It's a bummer But I'm like I can we could have dinner at your house. I can't go to a restaurant

I'm just I'm one I want one with Bernstein and I know he listens and I know I love him But come on one I want with burns Good name for a podcast Guarantee we Fucking assos are right that one down. But I take it back. I guarantee at the end of it,

what was it again? I won't quit, I won't sing anymore. I won't sing Bobby, I won't sing you. No, no, no, that's it, that's what you get. No more zings. Dan, you stick. No more zings. I don't know.

I won't sing. Can I say something? No, I say something. I wanna say something. I wanna say something. I wanna say something. I'm being a certain. Let me say something.

No more zing joe Jo way without getting hurt. We're just not friends. Why would you say the real thing? Dan, I can't do it. You know what he is? He's like a Jewish grandmother. Well, you know, if you that's how you want to be, I guess you don't love me. If I can zinc Lewis and not be friends with them, I'm fine.

Oh wait, no, Bob, we have an agreement of a deal. He kind of likes that. What is it? Jo likes that he can zinc and not have to be friends No, you know you're not leaving the show. I'm leaving my show for the first time guys But you wait a minute you know that's real right? This fuck would take over this whole studio He'd make that R into a fucking L

You just spray paint real ass dude Welcome to the brand new gas digital studio here above the famous comedy seller it handcuffs me to the table Yeah, well, wait that sounds I always talk about how funny you are too, and I always tell you look good too I always go you look handsome. He's talking to me right? No But you used to be handsome quite a bit. That's fucking a long time ago. I lost fucking some weight Yeah, Bobby looks great. I said you look great. You do lose what's the first thing I said to you? I said you look great. I don't like when you start singing Dan. Yeah. And I just said you look great.

Bobby, I just say you won the competition. You won the competition. He paid for a Facebook ad. Yeah. I did not. Yeah, you did. Yeah. That's why is that bullshit? That's all. Buddy, fucking Facebook. Buddy, beat me in the middle of the I thought that think this how dumb his fans are some guy goes That that was hilarious that I paid five all day. I put a five dollar add up I thought it was actually funny because yeah, but it one of his fans goes dude how desperate is Bob It's like that's the joke you unfunny content that it's I paid a five dollar ad for a competition about lips that doesn't exist You fucking unfunny

Lips though are great But you wouldn't want either I wouldn't have one of them. I don't have great lips. Yeah, wait Joey tied regular I'm really surprised Lauren got third place me Joe tied. Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm really surprised Lauren got third place me. Joe tied. Yeah, yeah Lips are as thin as mine no way you're out of your mind. You're so thin like that way and then also like your lips Like they're not done Like they're still like a sculpture that's still being worked on Give me the fucking Give me the fuck you think. This is a good time too.

Give it a hug like this. Uh-huh. And then he ran and keep going, Bobby. I got two fucking hot ones right in the row. Listen, you're fucking done with this whole joke thing. He was just bustin' your balls. You know, you see a lot of mean shit on the show. We all say mean shit to each other,

and we all give a shit about each other, so you can't write him off as a friend. I wrote him off as a friend. I did that already. We're not friends anymore. It's okay. No, it's not okay. We can be colleagues You're not first of all you have to have a job to be colleagues By the way, can we tell that the the joke and just in in in in what we're talking about? What's the word? I'm dumb. I look smart because I'm the asses Then question and question yes, thank you Dan

The joke and question. But Lewis posted a really cool picture. He made me feel bad because I couldn't think of it. He posted a great picture. Well, he'll be his album of him on stage. It'll be a great album cover if you can get to 45 minutes at some point. Right. It's a great picture. It's a great picture. And I in the first comment, I wrote awesome. It's a fucking awesome picture. then some other guy writes this picture makes you look like a comedy god And I replied good thing you can't hear it It's a credit to you that I would not know people I would do that for because a lot of people would be like hey, dude What the fuck but you're a guy?

I would not know if you would do that for because a lot of people would be like, hey dude, what the fuck? But you're a guy who takes people that fucking yeah, I don't even actually really care about all I wrote below that was I was like Joe for some reason. I'm so worried about people not liking him. You sure are cut and you know what happened? I fucking was like I think Lewis is mad. I got I got bummed out. I know and that's why I'm telling you I'm gonna put your friend more than I'm gonna put you out right now. Can I say something you have to know how Joe works though Joe will go for the funny All the time first. Yeah, okay. He's not going for the can I be on hang on a committee on my video one Can you fucking put the camera on me once yeah, I look over it? It's always on these fucking four It's my fucking show deeper one time probably in the fucking Never-yellow like baby yeah, I feel like it's not for you. I take Max's yelling on these fucking four. It's my fucking show, Deepa. One time, we'll be in the fucking shot.

I feel like baby man. Oh yeah, that's not for you. I take Max's yelling. I take all my yellow to these. These are my other kids. These are my kids from another that I don't really own. Hi daddy. I'm gonna be seeing these drumsticks real soon.

By the way, what you just described? Yeah, there you go. When you described how Joe works, you described a comedian. Yeah, but no, no, there you go. When you described how Joe works, you described a comedian. Yeah, but no, no, no, Joe, can I tell you, because there's sometimes people who go, hall of me not say that. Let me think that, but not say that.

Let me. I do that all the time. What do you think I don't have N word jokes ready to fly? I hold them back. What's an N word joke? Hobbs, geez. That no laugh really. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I don't use that language of joking. That was supposed to be a joke.

I know. But it's harder when it's so hard. It was amazing, you know, though, man. But you can get caught off on a sensitive moment. Because you probably felt good that that photo was cool and someone complimented you. And then out of nowhere, one of your friends who you really like didn't compliment you.

I say nothing but great things. That's not get carried away with public forum. That's not get carried away about how fucking nice you are. Oh, you say a lot of mean shit. So this podcast isn't a public forum? No. Are you calling me a cunt? Also on Facebook? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Wait a use his tennis match against him line remember he had the tennis Earlier I'm making good points. I'm not getting them out. I fucking think you're too much

I'm the way you try to do it even that the joke ingest We're talking about Well, I'm silly Look I think you're saying it's fine. I look obviously. It's fine. Yeah, we're just not friends I don't like that. That's what upset me. You're not friends with Joe. Joe is, I know that's how I'll get to him. Lewis, you're my only minority friend.

I need you desperately. That's true. It's very true. I think that he's going to have to go full black friend. Damn, kidding again. No way I'm going full black. I'm almost so surprised in my hair. You said you're never going full black friend. I'm joking. I'm joking. These are all. You said you never go in full black friends.

I'm joking. I'm joking. These are all jokes, everybody. Oh, you're black friends. Oh, my God. Jira. Jira. Who the fuck is Jira? That's a female Greek sandwich.

I don't stay on me the whole time. I'm trying to get a point. Well, don't make points. Just be a good producer. No, stop with the pointer. The pointer. Fucking crap. Now get off me. Okay. Get off me. No, stop with the pointer. Pointer. Fucking crap. Now get off me.

OK. Get off me. Get off him with Bobby Kelly. You podcast. Say you just can't stop. Never. Joe, you do say you see Joe's very funny. Sure.

Can we stop everything? Yeah. He's very funny. But he'll say the mean joke. Yeah. When sometimes you don't want it. You actually want a fucking compliment. I compliment more than anyone in here.

Okay, but sometimes it comes off. Basically, that ifpony, Joe. What? Because you're so nice. He's never been called a phony in my life. I'll tell you why. Because you're in my life. It took me a minute to understand you.

Sometimes you're so sweet and so nice and you say, such great shit, you're like, this guy must be fucking joking or busting balls even with this But you're not you're really just being who you are it took me a minute to know that so then when you come in Oh, I love you. You're the best. Thank you so much And then you come in you say some fucking funny, but horror like mean shit But what like this cuts just being a cut like you kind of anything he's building up capital to be a curse So what happens is you have to understand that Joe is a really sweet guy But he always goes for the funny. I don't know Joe for years

I know I've come now to terms with it. He's just not a good person or a good friend So I'm okay with it. We can move forward. I'm a comedian Yes, I'm thoughtful and sweet. I'm a good friend. I'm trying to make sure we're on a fucking air. We're doing comedy I think Joe is a sweet guy Yeah, we are we're live. This is a show live. I know it doesn't feel like it's because everyone's just shouting and it's fucking ridiculous But it's a real program Those out other people We're not interviewing one guy about his horse shit day We don't

Interview we are not an interview show you would know if you didn't too fucking robots fucking Slinging in lines with somebody before we do the start the show. I we say to our guests. Ah well Is Mark Norman and welcome to the show Tuesdays with Murray and I'm Joe list. I'm Mark Norman. No, I'm Joe list. I'm Mark Norman We say pop be pop be pop be pop be pop I'm Mark Novich. We see Bob, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, jokes. We show before the show is a Donald Trump Mr. Roboto. Donald Trump.

Thank you for sending me that. Tomorrow we got to, I love that. Thank you for listening to Tututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututututut T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- Look into his face no one's doing that podcast. What what makes you tick No, this is hi welcome to also mark Marin Geez I got it it's Bob Dana you fucks listen what? You really not mad at you now of course I. I'll set Joe's day off for like, I'll set his week off by telling my mad at him. Hi, Martin, I've already got beef, so I can't even concentrate.

No, I know, but I did that another time. I acted like it was mad at you for like, what was it for? Oh, I think I remember. Oh, yeah, the best man's speech. Hey, yeah, with Mark, you got me involved in actually, I thought you were planning little bombs telling everyone that it was mad at Joe.

I felt horrible. And I hate conflicts. I felt bad, I care. so I had to take it to Joe and I was like Joe I feel I felt really bad about and I apologize before I even was you thought you said pretended you were man I know bad about it. No, but that happens you get carried away in the comedy and then you felt bad I troll Dan today before the show. Thanks, buddy. I'm sorry. I mean, I was just trolling. I know. You know, I love you. Yeah, I smacked a book against my leg, because I got a shrapnel.

He really got a mad game. What would you do? Because I was just busing this ball about like he never had me on the, what's it called, the bonfire? Yeah, me neither. I don't know. Me neither.

But I don't care. But I'm not on one up. Yeah, I don't. Oh, I mean either. Me neither. John Laster technique. Who's John Laster? Remember, he said he's a killer.

He's a seller-dweller. He's a seller-dweller. He's a seller-dweller. He's a seller-dweller, yes. I'm working with him this weekend, you know? I, uh, no, I really don't. I think it's, oh, you know, I don't care. Yeah, well you just come on it. Lewis Mitchell, but you, I would, I won't.

Why? Why would you come on it? I refuse. Yeah, you'll get it now. If he asked you to come on it right now, you'd go. I promise you, I would you I would not go on why promise me swear on James is life. I swear on James's life Well, don't do that though cuz we want you on the show. I don't want to go on the show. Why I swear to God Why don't you want to go on the show? It's a J.R. Me. It's two of your best friends You're you're fucking comedy idol as you wrote on the quote on Facebook

I don't know what's in my comedy idol. I said I said 12 years ago, I met Big J. He became my favorite comedian. He quickly became like my 25th favorite comedian after that. Oh, I forgot about, I had a clip on that one too, sir. What was it? Yeah, some other country fuck it. What was it? Whoa.

He wrote tonight, I have the honor of opening for my hero, my idol, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I wrote, I'm gonna come. What time do you get off? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha about what the fucking people on Twitter think your cousins aren't even go minds Don't fucking throw my Clean those up guys stop it. No, I don't throw my fucking coast as you fucking Don't throw shit over here. I got wires if you hit one wrong. I'm fucking lose the show Do you do you jacked out of the Comedy?

Is that your escape on? I'll get you get you. Do not push this button. Dude, you hit the inject button! Are your cousins really mad at me? He doesn't have their old dead. I'm sorry, I did not all that. Oh, you know, some of them are alive and they'll be, you know, they're okay. I just got turned down for donating sperm for that, because most of my male family members

were dead, and I don't know their medical history. Oh, yikes. What a segue. Oh my god. That is pretty depressing, though. You don't, you don't, you don't, you get money, you get like four grand. Did you do it? They rejected me.

Four grand, three grand. I, I, I, I, it's almost like you just told fucking Lewis. He was, he was gonna have his own TV show. That's the same glow in his eye. Lewis, for great head with the Lewis J Gomez project. Wait on what channel, please tell me you guys are relaunching UPN. For grand for jizz. Guys, can I do it on the WGN after a Cubs game?

Dude, I'm wasting 60 grand a day. Yeah, exactly Lewis is like getting P.A. I D Jerk it all all day. I heard a whole lot of time out. You were gonna try. Have you ever done it? No, no With cryobank man hat and man try to shit out. They might take you there We're gonna give you four ran with that droopy eye. I get the fuck out of you Sorry, I went to college some college education I Went to college I'm college education Criteria, but they start from away

Not the university. I teach Tech and fucking hey counts. There's no way you have two college degrees I do in what final From the college is forensic mixing protein shakes waking up early I'm gonna be a friend's mixing protein shakes waking up early Comparative Wood shopping and talking to give you a degree in talking. I got a degree in hair Communication I thought of I thought the associate's degree in math. Yeah, there's no way you have two degrees What is what are they finance and sports management? You have finance?

Don't you have to have fucking money to do finance? How rainman? How rainman of it would it be though? If you looked over Scopus books and they were just immaculate, I know where every dollar goes, and I just scratch it out. I'm actually pretty good at finance.

Oh, it's sports management. Oh, it's the other one finance and what? Sports management. I'm sports management too. Are you right? But you're a hot chick. That's like a hot chick. They actually look like a sports management team. Yeah, they really do. They have that look

Yeah, like they're gonna rip off Moses and everything else Yeah, you're gonna buy your mama house and then we're gonna take the rest of it It's too grand to get in and then you got to pay a dues. I'm actually sports entertainment and event management Side-line reporter Lauren You fucking podcast intern Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Bobby remember your all bit when you said I heard your mom's sick. ¿Qué fue? ¿Qué fue? That old bit. What's that bit? It's a bit like I got you were like inspired me when I was like looking up to you. Oh, but you so nail thing when he.

When he. No, it's a bit. No, that's when I said it to him. Oh, I said it to Colin. I it's because I don't want to do a fucking storytellers of the bit. I do. I love that bit. Me too.

It's like I love your fours got mom bit. Thanks buddy. I never worked. Yeah, I did though. I saw it work once. One was a bit I'll explain it. I'll give you the readers digest what happened to my bed your bit was Yeah, it was okay. Let's go to Joe's. I want to hear this. I was bit was great I thought you didn't like you you do the digest I don't want you as a person his comedy is brilliant. Yes agreed so punched up You do the

Real boys. Yeah, Joe would take that. Well, He's very insecure. Yeah, we know that. Why? I was just how the bits lie. No, tell me tell a bit. You do it. I want to go some voices. Yeah, do you Please don't do it. Please don't do it. My family member. Why are we fighting? We haven't been together in a long time We're fighting together. You two are fighting me and him fought early now. You guys are bickering enough enough You becker. You just leave. I'm gonna stand up for you right now and say stay. Thanks Dan. You're welcome.

Thank you Dan. Bar, fine, stay but shut your mic off. Hey Lewis, Bobby's invited us to his studio to have fun today. I'm sorry and I feel like you're ruining it. Yeah you're ruining it. Sorry. If you want your phone back. Oh, I'm just gonna put it in my phone. And sorry if you want your phone back

Diotus I've been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner and this is my black boyfriend Dave And I don't care if you don't like it because he pounds my ass and my old childhood bed I hear you I want to talk about this real quick. Did you guys see this top 20 list? What's the top 20? First list? The, the, no, time out in New York. The top, top 20 comedians of all time. Oh, well, they don't believe in the X, that's it. But how the fuck can you write of all time? Well, they did.

One guy, a girl, whoever the fuck it was, was it a guy or girl? I don't know, I don't know. Can you find the article? How the fuck, I mean, are you guys getting sick of these people who are looking for lists? Well, it's, it's just dumb. We're talking about it so we're giving credence clear what a revival. I know but people I really think he's fucking idiots have to have to know about these dumb lists.

It's like well you're giving a list that's literally just a personal fucking it's you a personal list. The word the magazine's list. It's not the world's list. The worst one I saw was Rolling Stone did a list of all the best SNL cast members and it was fucking awful. That guy's a piece of shit. It was like it was one of the worst lists of the world. Why is that? Rob Sheffield. Why is that?

It was just fucking awful. They had like some of the great, like, Norma Donald was like in the 90s? Yeah, yeah. Quinn was one of the last. We one last week on the one i hosted that you were here yet it was just a fucking awful list they had like danica are the at like sixteen you know i can tell me there's sixteen cast members better than danica are be well i think fifteen what's this was a fifteen

i got the list of the keyboard are you paying a stuff like a blind man i just don't understand i i literally spent money and time coming up with the studio, putting a fucking computer in front of him with a keyboard and a mouse and a fucking monitor. And it's right there to just type up, bring it up on a screen, we can all watch it.

We can all look at it. He's on his fucking iPhone six. Lauren looks like her husband is a very successful lead singer of like a very popular band What's that? Oh Yeah, it was great. I said you look like the wife of a very successful lead singer. I am okay Wow, this is getting weird. I got the list. I use attention What happened? What happened?

Thank you, D. Poo Ja, he was co-p't know. Thank you, Deepo. Deepo, Jack. Deepo. Deepo. You want to go from 20 to 1? Yeah, well, of course. Okay, number 21, the Sykes. That's really good. 19 Kevin Hart.

Okay. 18 Amy Schumer. Yeah. 17 Don Rickle. Yeah, it's happened. Don Rickle should be on the line, though. Absolutely. But he shouldn't be fucking 17.

Number 16, Kathy Griffin. No. No, stop that. Kathy's very funny. I don't think she's the one of the Times okay. Yeah, no 15 number 15 Roddy Dangerfield. Yeah, of course. Should be higher. Yeah number 14 Jackie Mabley Who Jackie Mabley stop it mom stop it mom is Mabley. No fuck you that no maybe back then No, not not modern stand-up comedy as we know it with not at all true moving on Oh, I want to know who's no 13 number 13 Rosa and bar nope no 12 name one bit I'm a domestic goddess I'm a domestic goddess

Like her whole that was her whole that was her first car I look I think staff to the start from Denver. I'm gonna say something about her. She, look, she was pinnacle in standup comedy, standup comics getting a show for their life, talking about their life, getting a successful show, but she's top 20. I think she's top 20. Okay, I'll give her top 20, but not that high, not 12, not 13. But I will.

Number 12, Lenny Bruce. Okay, absolutely. Yes. Number 11, Sarah Silverman. No. Really? I don't Number 12, Lenny Bruce. Okay, absolutely. Yes. Number 11, Sarah Silverman.

No. Really? I don't think top 20. I think she's very, very far. Ah, okay. 11. Overing Lenny Bruce. Yeah, not over Lenny Bruce.

No. I'll give her top 20. I give Sarah Silverman top 20. Number 10, Eddie Murphy. Yes. Top five. Number nine, Phyllis Diller. Yes.

Top 20. I think she's top 20. Stand up a comedian. Yes. I. Phyllis Diller. Yes. What? Top 20? I think you're top 20. Stand up comedians. Yes. I think Phyllis Diller is top 20. Show me a favorite. Show me one of her fucking sets. Go to YouTube. Show me one. Name one joke. Name one joke. I don't have to know. Name one. Bruce joke. No, I don't know. I think it's back. I think Phyllis Diller is important to comedy in the top 20. All right. Number eight. I don't know. I think Phil is still is important to comedies in the top 20. All right number eight. I did I I disagree. Okay. I think Phil is still is I think I think Joan Rivers. Yes. I agree with that. I don't think I think Phil is still there. I think the rest of the law is not as important as I think she is. I think she is. I agree to disagree. I agree to disagree. don't think so, because I don't remember her ever making me laugh.

She's never made me laugh. She did with her laugh, even. I remember laughing with her laugh. Did you make me laugh? What? Leni Bruce made you laugh? Leni Bruce made me laugh. Made me laugh.

His other stuff. When he got into it, reading his fucking transcripts, I mean, absolutely not. But here's why Leni Bruce, you have to add Leni Bruce because he is the reason you say fuck. He's the reason why you talk about your life. He's the reason why all these other comic, stand up comics, as we know it, became jazz.

It not became about becoming famous and going on stage and doing horse shit, Cosby crap back then. He's a guy in the village talking about how fucked up life is and paying the price for it. He actually got arrested and his career was fucking and he went crazy I agree I believe you have to put him in that I agree that he is one of the guys who started stand-up comedy as we know it And I really agree and I and I'm more or less just playing devil's advocate because you said did has she ever made you laugh

Yeah, but I agree I don't feel as dull as as as important. Pugh, I just farted. Yeah, it's cool. Let's get it. Cahsby isn't in it on the list too. Okay, let's go. That's crazy. He can't be politically right now.

But that's absurd. That's 20. It makes all that crazy. He should be number one or number two or number three. Anyone higher than three is ridiculous. But number eight, Steve Martin. Yes. Number seven, Jerry Seinfeld.

Yes. Number six, Louis CK. Yes. Number five, George Carlin. Absolutely. Number four, Richard Pratt. Yes. Number seven, Jerry Seinfeld. Yes. Number six, Louis CK. Yes. Number five, George Carlin. Absolutely. Number four, Richard Price. Yes. Number four, Richard Price.

Hang on, it gets weird now. Number three, Robin Williams. He should not be number three. And the reason he put him number three is because he fucking... This is the most politically correct list in the record. What's number two? Joan Rivers. Yes.

Number one. Chris Rock. Joan Rivers should not be number two absurdity We know she'll miss a hell. That's very true. No, she'll be a fucking mind. I Think prior Cosby and Carl and the only candidates for number one. Yes, she'd be prior one Carlin to Cosby three. I think Carly I go I go prior carl in Cosby. I would know Sam can us in. All right. So that's fucking crazy. No Sam

can I say I would say no dice. You know, can us in over. I can say a fucking question. I'm going to answer you. He just keeps fucking saying it. I first of all, Sam Kimisin. Yes,

should be a kid is in but should be on it. But I think that a Chris rock can fight for that number one spot. And I'll tell you why because fight for that number one spot. And I'll tell you why because number one is still alive. Number two, he is just stand up. And he does specials. Every couple of years, he goes, right, to special

and films it. That's very, that, I think he has more content. This is just a personal, I think he's definitely top 10. Yes. I also think Patrice he's definite top 10. Yes. I also think Patrice is in the top 10. Yeah, but he's not gonna put Patrice because he doesn't have a body of work to go by. But he does talk about it.

We're talking about what's talking about. But he does have a body of work. He's got one of the greatest hour specials of all time. Ever. He's got one of the greatest albums. One of the greatest albums of all time. His album. Mr. P is one of the greatest albums of all time.

Mr. P half hour HBO special is arguably the top three one hour HBO half hour comedy central. Mr. P half hour show time. No half hour HBO special is arguably the top three one hour H. P. Oh half hour comedy central show mr. P half hour showtime. No half hour H. P. One night stay one night stay but can I say something? in order yeah but you're done as well though. He did him and go into the half hour show. Yeah they did. Yeah they did.

He's got a ton of what's off. He's got a ton of shit. Yeah but it's not I'll tell you why it's not available as much it is his prior. Wow. Or whatever. But that's the standard because I look I agree with you. I think Bill Burr should be the top 20.

Yeah, great Bill Burr. She definitely in the top 20. He's got a body of work. Can we just say this list is horseshit and not give any more credence to it and then just talk about our own list? But let's talk because this is ridiculous. OK, let's talk about lists though. The Joe list list.

Bring it all back to track. I don't think you can fucking me because your list is going to be different than my list. It's all subjective, but these lists they put them out there and and and they put it out there as this is The top 20 of all time they they they should be responsibility to say this is my top 20 Yes, that should be in the fucking title That list. Yes, yeah If he was a fucking journalist had any integrity Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, or Carlton one and two. Oh, they don't want to one and two. One is fucking goofy. Priorit. I disagree with that. Can I say something about that?

We're always putting prior and Carlton one and two. Yeah, I don't think you can do it. Yeah, I think that's politically correct as far as being calm. No, but prior is the one. I don't think then. I don't think there always one. It's not Lenny is the one that started talking about his life.

He wasn't. He was talking politics. He was talking, he didn't talk about it. He did talk about his life. His life. First of all, he got arrested. You're sure? Okay, wait a minute. No, but I know exactly. He got, he didn't get arrested for talking about his life. You guys for using percuring. Yeah, but he exactly, but he was talking about his life. What was happening to him? His life was being persecuted for all that shit. He got arrested. Okay, but that's what I'm talking about.

He started, even though we didn't like it, we thought it was fucking crazy, he went on stage and didn't just go up there and tell happy, poor shit, fucking set up punch tag. Nordic player. That fill his dillard and all those guys were doing. But can I just say, prior, if you watch, prior Long Beach, you will fucking shit your pants laughing. Yes, amazing. For an hour, if you watch Lenny Beach, you will fucking shit your pants laughing.

Yes, it's amazing. For an hour. If you watch Lenny Bruce, you will not chuckle. Okay, I put Bill Hicks in front of the news. Yes, absolutely. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I didn't say, should be number one.

I think Lenny Bruce should be on the list because of what he did. Yes, agreed. I think prior is way ahead of him, but I think Bill Hicks should be right up there. I mean, now. Shepelle had the great, I'll shut up. Shepelle had the great point analogy on his

instead of the actor studio, where the evolution chart, he's like, Pryor is the guy walking upright. He is the basis for all that is happening now in comedy. And I think he's the reason I'm here. I'm not if shepelle now, let's you have Amy Schumer on that list. I'm not if she want Amy Schumer, but that's fucking kind of crazy

But the prior to echo the prior thing he's right, but also the prior thing is Every comic you see go on stage didn't go. Ah, this this happened to me. My wife was fucking did that was prior The genesis of that was prior going on He was the first person talking about open drug addiction all that shit Complete honest it. Yeah complete not her honesty We're one of his specials live and smoking. He's bombing But he's talking about getting addicted to sucking dick and everyone in the audience is like,

what the fuck is this guy talking about? That was actually filmed in New York. That was his first, especially ever filmed in New York when he came back from, he was from Cosby. Yeah, he was Cosby. The meltdown in Vegas. He had a meltdown, he came back. He lived in Watts with Red Fox.

Started talking about his life. Came to New York, the improv. You can see the wall. And if you go to 44 G. Avani's, the Italian restaurant, the wall is still up. Yeah. The actual improv wall. But that's where he filmed it. It was awful.

Yeah, he bombed. Bombing. It was fucking great though. But you don't get to live in Long Beach, live in concert 1978 without that bomb. And that's like the greatest hour of comedy ever done. Yeah, I mean, look at Dice's on there either. Yeah, I mean, it just meant to put your criteria is because Dice's material doesn't hold up.

It wasn't even fucking material really. But he just was the rock star con who took it to that level. What about Woody Allen? Yeah, Woody Allen. That's crazy. And by the way, he's left out loud funny if he was an old man. If you have a list of women, comedians, and Ellen's not on it. Yeah, that's crazy. And by the way, he's left out loud funny if you was an old man. If you have a list of women, comedians, and Ellen's not on it,

Ellen's fucking nuts. She should be the highest woman. Ellen, hilarious. Her fucking hour specials are fucking amazing. I would say even a person that's still working, Maria Bamford is one of my top 20 comics of all time. That's a personal thing. I think Maria's fucking hilarious.

I don't know if she's top 20. For me, she. But Ellen, you gotta take her body of work though. You gotta go from where she was, stand up. Just stand up. And a killer. And a fucking man's world back then, Ellen. It's a man's world.

That's all? She had her own show. She continued to do stand up hours making the point. So I'm not even talking about being gay back then. Like now if you're gay, that's like a fucking meal ticket. And like back then, she had a, she had a, she was in movies dating dudes and shit. I mean her show was where she announced it.

Yeah. Her character was so special. And then it got canceled. She had a show. And she was the first one to come on as a lesbian. Yeah. And they canceled the show when she was a woman. She was before. Who's gonna watch that fucking lesbian show And they canceled the show. She was before. She was before.

Yeah. Who's going to watch that fucking live show? I am. I am in a loose fitting robe. I think she's definitely on the list. Who is going to be a? That's crazy. There's going to be another one.

Who's on the list that should be on the list? Ellen Woody Allen. She pal. She's Bill Hicks. Hang on. Cosby Bill Hicks. Now, now Cosby. Let's put it in. Can I look at that? Okay. He build a list. Go ahead. Cosby Bill Hicks. Now, now Cosby,

you got to get that. Fuck that. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know, but he did rape 36 people. Yeah, I know that. But it's also like finding out, it's also like finding out that like if John Lennon, thank you, turn out to murder bunch of people.

Thank you for producing, being the producer on the show. John Lennon also, I think he hit his wife. I think he hit women and also. John Lennon. I think Martin Luther King had some domestic violence. Yeah, he was she on this white woman. I chucked my wife yesterday. Come on. I mean, your body is who was that director that had got exiled because he was like fucking Roman Lansky. Yeah, dude, you can't look

at their body of work and discount the fact that they're brilliant artists just because they do fucked up shit. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just want to give him the bomb and end of the, why do I want, why would instinctively do I want to give that to him? Because it's fun when there's silence following a Lewis sentence, you're like, oh, we got him. We got him. It's the way police wrongfully incriminate black guys, they're like, oh, we got him.

Yeah, that's it. It's the same feeling when he may try to make a point as when he bombs. Do you know that? Dan Ments, joke, you know, Dan Ments. Yeah, I love Dan Ments. He's got a joke about, I'm gonna fuck it up, I'll give you the, the, the, the gist of it. Yeah.

You should have a stroke. So, he goes, Roman Polansky, he goes, I want you to talk to Mentsch about him. The guy's a Holocaust survivor. He raped a 13 year old girl and wanted an Academy Award. I'll be happy with just one of those things. You know, one of my favorite jokes about that. I have a career.

It's one of my favorite jokes about that. Stephen Wright was it on the list. Oh my god nor Mitch headberg for that matter Mitch headberg. I don't think Mitch is on the list. I wouldn't put Mitch on another I'll put David Tell on there. Yes. Oh, yeah, I think I would say I'll put Doug stand up as well I would also do Doug stand hope does not go on the list. Yes, he does I was going to those guys. Thank you. There's not going to listen neither does fucking what's his name? Mitch I don't know if a tell goes on that list Shit

Top 10 What about Brian Reagan? Yes I'm putting the top 20. Dude, put your bike back into its holes. Who are you gonna go fucking dick to already? Number four. Good! That's good! Don Gavin!

No, I... Alright, so let's make... Make... Who's that? Mike Donovan. Dude, fucking Morrissey. Listen. Oh my, man.

Alright, I got Bill Cutt. This is our own list. We can come up with 20 people who should be ahead of almost everything on this list. Who's the big one? 20 you fucking forgot. You can. Husby, Ellen, Dice, right, headberg, Woody Allen, David Tels, Doug Sandhub, Dave Shepel, Brian Regan, Bill Hicks, Hicks. Here's the thing and I feel bad for this.

Re-spec. This is the trace politically correct. And the reasons are because they've been very difficult for women and women aren't supposed to be funny for a long time and it's a harder world to get into but because for all the reasons it doesn't matter why if we're basing it on career There is not a woman in the top 20 for me unfortunately Ellen Ellen Baby Ellen cracks there I don't know Joan Joan River Look it man. I don't care. Look, you know, if you're being just fucking honest

and fuck political correctness, I am being honest. Joe, I know, it's a sentence, I'm not asking. Joe River's and fucking Ellen should be on your list. Stand up comic wise, Ellen has put out at least three solid, holy shit specials. But can I just rifle off who I think would be above Ellen? Yeah, it's good Jerry Seinfeld Woody Allen Steve Martin Bill Cosby Richard prior Dave Sheppell Patriso Neal George Carlin. I'm talking women

Talking all time comedians regardless of race or gender Kind of win you then black of race or gender. All those people I just say kind of win Jew then black. I mean, all of you I just know it goes black Jew black Jew. I'm certainly above her. So I would have to see on paper if she's cracking my top 20. I think she would. I mean, but here's a guess. I don't think Ellen's as funny as any of the people you just said in my personal opinion, but for what she did, it's not just what your personal opinion on what you think is funny. It's how important they are. How much I think Alan is before I think Alan is before what's your name? No, no, no, no.

I think Griffin shouldn't be on that list. That's the fuck is your name? Who's the little get the list up? Schumer's human. Griffin should get the fuck off that list. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no How many of you will I forgot oh Mars Rose and bar I think Alan's before Rose and bar agreed How many hour specials does Rose and bar have and how many does Alan Alan has at least I mean her specials you got a you really I love it in a car I'm not just what about all of bones don't That's a that's a tough one she had one a lame Boosler a lame Boos but one she had one what's lame booze, a lame booze, a lame booze, a, well one. She had one. We're talking Alan who had three solid specials.

I think she's great. I just think I can, I think I can name 15. I'm just saying, I'm not putting her in there. Now whoopies not, she's a one man show. It's show with fucking right. She's like Mike Bebiglia. It's like, you have to be in a theater. It's John Luguzamo.

Yeah, that like one man show type thing. We're talking club comics. We're talking you could take Alan Sticker in any comedy club anywhere and she'll kill fucking hour. I wonder if she's still good. Like if you're like, oh, you gotta do 10. Oh, fuck, if she's gonna act, yeah, 100%. Oh, wait, I put cat waves way above Kevin Hart personally.

Really? No, I'm a friend with Kevin, but I haven't seen, I haven't seen his acting years. I agree. Cats got some fucking great picture. His name is one of the funniest French ever seen yeah, it is really funny I thought I would hate it and then you watch it

It's all fucking hilarious He's a great Beautiful uh, peaceful parenting joke where he talks about how the babies crying for the skittles Yeah, I mean I haven't seen them, but I've heard people say it's just a great pity joking. He's great Where's the list? You want to see them right here Bob? Well, it's got to be somebody else Right first of all can we take Robin Williams off? Yes, yes, yes, he's an actor terrific actor great actor His sister is unwatchable. He's climbed up the walls. He's yeah, I hate Robin Williams

I like him as an actor and as a guy. How do you guys have a problem with Robin Williams, but not a problem with Kathy Griffin? This is crazy. That's a lot. She wasn't even in the discussion. First of all, you gotta stop. You have to stop right now.

If you, if you, one was last time you watched Kathy Griffin special. Never. Okay, I want you to do this because I know it's some fucking chick yammering and fucking I'm not gonna go watch her special It might she be funny, but top 20 comics of all time Bobby. Okay, I don't think that but she is a great standup Okay, sure a great standup. Okay, Kathy Griffin is a fucking not gonna argue that I don't think she's He is many lasers a great standup. She's not one of the top 20 comics of all time. It's not a debate. Okay, Robbins off

Okay, what's that noise? What's that? Yeah, there's why is it ringing? What is that? Oh, that's my phone. You're an asshole. You really? I love it. Just to nice it I'm looking at it really Letty Bruce letty Bruce on her off off. I mean on I say on on all right on all right Sarah Silverman I love her I think she's on off on top 20 top 20s tough Rose and bar. I say keeper Foof all right. I'd rather keep Sarah. I think it's a better way. I think you're gonna name the people first Yeah, we got to put the 20 in his maimly gone. Please get her off gone We gotta put the 20 in his favor. Mom's maimly gone.

Please get her off. Gone. Mom's maim. Why don't we take this? Why don't we go through and say who is on? And with this list. That's a poor sense. You're so fucking nice.

Wait, who is nice? But I'm saying this is an easier way to do it. I know, but with this is better, we just go off. Like everybody going off. But then we go through and we just, you know, ridiculed him for being off the list. All right, we got the chat room going. We have 14 on this list and on on that list.

That's right. You're kidding me. 14 on our own list. I put this guy Brian Brian Regans on there. Yeah, yeah, I'm about Margaret Joe I'll throw my I'm gonna throw you a dirty pussy photo. Yeah, I said kinesin and dice to me are not anywhere near the top 20 I never understood kinesin. I'm sorry. I'm I'm gonna tell you what they're rock stars. Yeah, they're what they call rock star I put little Kevin rock star com. But I say I say dang go go in rock star Yeah, let's make a little rock star group rock rock star group is different than greatest comic of all time

That's name Kevin Guy and whole blue Nice Color yeah, that's a country rock Yeah, they're rock stuff. You said other guy Well, you can't take anything away from because it thousands of eight thousand people go to see Million, but I never got Katt Williams he kind of crosses over because he's a rock star, but he's also still a real club

No, there are rock star guys that are made. I mean Steve Martin is a fucking amazing. He's playing a rena. Chris rock is doing a rena. Louie is doing a rena. Can I stop Bob Newhart? Yes. Yeah. If you don't have Bob Newhart on a fucking top 20 stand, he is the first comic to win a Grammy beat Frank Sinatra. First comic? Yes. First comic to fucking actually sell out a rena's. Really? The button down mind. One of the fucking greatest stand-up albums of all time. What about Gortsall Dic Gregory? Were you on your phone? Yeah, because I had five missed calls, so I was saying. Are you okay? Yeah. He's in a moment. Oh, what about Dante Miro? Yes. Will Sobans? Yes! Why are you not picking up?

Yes, both of those guys. One, why you not, why you not, why you not, why you not, why you not, why you not, why you, why you not, why you not, why you, why you not, why you not, why you, why you, why you not, why you not, why you, why you not, why you, why you not, why you, why you not, why you not, why you, why you, why you, why you not, why you, why you not, why you, why you, why you not, why you not, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you, why you You cannot say Jim's not funny. No, I didn't say Jim's not funny. The greatest stand-ups of all time. I want to. Are you fucking crazy? I'm saying it's just shh. I'll tell you it's shh. Shhh. I want it. Shhh.

Oh, hi, y'all. All right, go ahead. Who else? I put Kyle Canadian above Brewer. I put Kyle Seas before Kyle Canadian. Whoa, no, I don't do that at all. Kyle grooms before both of them. Yeah, that's what I was just going with Kyle.

Have you seen Kyle Seas' new fucking thing he's doing? No, what is it? Bring up Kyle, no, he's doing motivational speaking. Kyle Seas, bring it up. And it works. He's pulling it off. Sold out theaters. He's on stage. What's it called? Evolving out loud. He's pulling it off. Sold out theaters. He's on stage.

What's it called? Evolving out loud. Evolving out loud. That's way better than being a successful standup. I, God forbid, I give these guys any more time to get the computer going. I think they're not. I think they're not. No, we can't.

It's not broke. It's not broke. The battery's dead. And we're supposed to re, we had batteries in our working. The battery's not working, Bob Bob that's what it is. I just thought it'd be more batteries. It's those school books, that is the battery school.

Dick had a lot of money. What is it? It's the battery school. The energy I was talking about. But why this happened the last time you had to get more batteries, right? Yeah, but why does it happen? Because they're a cell.

No, no, no, why does it happen? The button is left on. Who's left the button on? I did. That energizer bunny dude, we need to fucking do something about it. Boppy, you're gay, you're gay, boppy. I put the energizer bunny in the top 20. I do.

A lot of good Christmas commercials. Yeah. Someone says Jim Norton, Joey Diaz, are you sure fear? Oh my god. I'm sorry. I talked to one of the people that wanted to you and your mom's basement. I mean, I tell you, they're all fucking great stand up comics right now. They're great hang. We're talking the greatest of all time. How many are we at? All right. All right. If I take Kinesen and dice off of

the guy. You got it. Dude, dice. I'm gonna be honest with you. Dice. I'm a little bit weary taking dice off the list. Dude, dice was fucking. The Rosa made a good argument point one time when we were talking about this and he got me to agree that dice should be in the top. How? How? How? Because he said of his like how he went so high up. He had two classic specials that he went down made a very popular like underground album the day the laughter died. All right. Came back up. Now he's got a TV show on showtime.

His career is back on. Dice stays on oh Oh Characters don't make my list. I'm sorry. Is that is that dice with cancer? I Know characters on my list. What is not it? Why not it is a character? Yeah, but you're doing a character You're doing a character of you on stage Yeah, you're not really this much of a douchey You're a nice guy. I'm not on stage right now you dumb dumb

Lewis thinks this is on stage I have to pee that almost made me pee But it's just his fucking douchey cut line. It's so much cut behind it. Somebody pull Bobby's hair so we can pee Just getting your ball. What else you got? his fucking douchey cunt line that's so much cunt behind it. Somebody pull Bobby's hair so we can pee. Yeah. Just getting your ball. What else you got? Those are all the names I'm seeing. A Colin Quinn. Did we say him yet?

Colin. Yeah. Colin more than a lot of people there on the list. Yeah. I mean, top 20 to be on. I think Colin's brilliant. Here's my hair. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. top. Okay, wait a second. I'll tell you why you ready? Christmas influencer because he did he he he he has one man shows Probably yeah, I agree. It's one man shows. He also does stand up in clubs

Yeah, no, he was last time he had a club show He was a seller special brokerage couple months ago. Come on son doing doing his one-man show. Yeah One man show Brokary's couple months ago. Come on son. Doing doing his one-man show. Yeah One-man show it's an act. Yeah, he's doing his show. It's perfectly I think to top twight. He's still considered Burbili Burbili a standup. Yeah, but he It's a little one-man show. If you do a one-man show in your career that discount you from Not in your career Santa come back to the side. Look it if you yeah, do you consider Gallagher a comic? Like he started off doing straight up stand-up. I consider Gallagher a stand-up,

but if you put him on a list of top stand-up acts, I would understand that. No, he's a stand-up, he's more of a stand-up than, a one-man show thing is this, once talking about one subject, okay? You're picking a subject, the constitution, sleepwalking, probably, and Dix, and you're talking about that, okay?

And you just you're really just squeezing the fuck out of that. I did. I'm just saying Colin still works in clubs And still does showcase sets and I know you will do more standup. You're saying top 20 of all time. No, but close Okay, very close, but we're not saying close. We're saying yes or no, no, no, you're taking a hour You taking him out of the category of standup because he's done two one No, he's one of the greatest standups of all time I'm just saying when you're talking top 20 standups of all times He's not one of the top 20. He's my best friend. I would say Colin Quinn is close. I agree with that He's he's right there. Yes. He's at the top fucking lootly right there

I was I will be more because we already have 15 You know what let me just say who's underrated it doesn't get it Martin Lawrence's yes The Martin Lawrence fly bit made me cry No people don't give Martin in my top 20 Like when they when they get great black they go from Eddie straight to Kevin Hart and they skip Are you fucking nuts Martin Lawrence to my top? Oh, they put fucking all the Wains brothers in that what about Pete He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man.

He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man.

He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man.

He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. he's out now. Moses. Yo. What's going on? What's up, buddy? You're doing well. Do you think that the fuck the fuck? Jesus Christ, you got a great voice. Thank you. You were dead.

You should have a fucking show together. Are you working radio? You did? You're working. Yeah. Welcome to the Deep Voice Hour. It's me and Moses. Moses.

What's going on, bro? Do you think Martin Lawrence is in the top 20? Definitely. Thank you, Moses. is in the top 20 definitely? Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, who are we missing give him you a little missing? Yeah the one. Um Jamie Foxx You're out of your mind. Not top 20. That's a black. No, no, no, no, I mean top a not top 20 out of back it But he that's a black. All right. Good. Who are you? You're out of your mind. No, good About Bernie Mac

I'm going to vote for him. There's got to be another black comic. Who was on the special? She'll help Mike. She'll help Mike. He has the body of work. I think she'll help. You should tell on that. I think she'll help.

I think she'll help. I think she'll help. I think she'll help. I think she'll help.. He'll have Mike. He had the body of words. I think she'll I think she'll put you should pal on that list. But he's maybe my favorite comic. I mean, you put my lines on that list. No, I didn't.

What do you think? Who says my lines? I say, Marcy. We got to get it in both the room. I don't think it's important enough. Top two. One of your crazy. What do you mean we know the black? We got prior, Carlin.

I don't say that. You said you said your own head. You said head you said what anymore this on the black guys You just said that I was just joking. Oh, all right Jesus Christ just serious lip-dass Well, I just you know What's your face about? I was looking at Lewis weird. Why I don't know we just made weird face at each other this conversation went from top 20 Don't let's name good comics. I know what you do And like Max I know what you do and I didn't say top 20 so Martin Lord's I just say I look back

Go to the list the bottom town on that list really like just go through quickly one to psychs Kevin What's what? One is off one is off. Yeah, yeah, but back to what I was doing. But no, we got our other list now We have our other list. This is what Joe was talking about Kevin Hart gone gone Amy John gone. She was gone. Don Rickle. Yes, on so add rickles rickles is on Oh, this is the official list and then we'll put him in order official list this is officially rickett gone really Griffin's fucking gone. Oh Kathy Griffin. I hope you get on danger field. Yes, yes, yes hot and much higher

Moms Mavley Don't get your answer. Dangerfield. Yes. Yes. Hot and much higher. Mom's mavely. Oh, God. Broo. Oh, man. I've heard of Bug Eyes. Rose Ambar. Gone.

Gone. You're okay? Gone. Ellen goes before I was fine. Gone. Gone. Gone. Is that all about a list?

We should've done it on our other list. I'm agree. Don't make me yell because my belt buck goes digging into my gut. Lenny Bruce. Yeah, he's a moron. He's got a moron. I've got a size. Did I say Rose Ambar? Yeah, he's a more That's a more I got a guy. Sarah Silverman. Did I say Rosagne? Yeah, she's on.

Sarah Silverman. Gone. Yes. Yes. Murphy. Murphy. Phil Stiller. Gone.

That's the 10 Steve Martin. Yes. Okay, keep on. Steve Martin. Yes. Jerry Seinfeld. Yes. Hold on.

Hold on. Slow down. Go ahead. You want to say it or you want to go ahead Louis CK. Yes. I say yes Carlin. Yes prior. Yes, Williams. No Rivers. Yes, yes and rock. Yes. Okay. Our whole house All right, stop Adam's our list. We've agreed with one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven. Who's list is this? Is it a woman or a man? It's a guide artist author's name is David Goldberg pull him up Joe's. He's a Jew Or all Jews, no, we're not you Love it. Oh, I love the chosen people. We have to really hurry up because I'm gonna shit. Oh god. I want you to shit

What do you got? So we had now here's the oven we've added a little pee right now go pee Okay, you're gonna miss this but go pee you'll have no vote. I'd rather be the miss this We have one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen Our list eleven from their list. So we have to whittle our fortune down to nine. Okay, okay, go ahead Read the list read the list Read the list Cosby. Yes, he's on it. Really we're putting Cosby on it And if he's not in the top three on out I'll never do the show again. I'm a top three You fucking evil people argue number one if you want

You fucking evil people argue number one if you want Hey rape my sister he's number one baby Top three rapists Ellen yes, yes dice. No, no, no, I see he's off I said no, no, no top 20. Top 20. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Top five. David Tell. Yes. No, he's a master. Asstress. Asstress. He's a maybe. Come back. I don't know how to say it. Asstress. Asstress.

Is it Asstrix? No, no. Stand up, man. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Stand up right now.

Contemporary one of the greats. Yeah. And we'll be on that list. Yeah, he's going to die soon enough. So he will stop it. He's not going to die. Just go. I mean, we all die one day I was leaving I was leaving So I hope you guys would add me to the list So then you come back no I'm not a man guys give me off that list Nothing to worry. I got two more suggestions Norma Donald and Red Fox. Oh

Red Fox you all right really Red Fox. I don't even know who the fuck he is. Keep on coming All right really red fox. I don't even know who the fuck he is keep on coming I'm gonna say no right Yeah, I don't know I was just a Jefferson sorry two black guys are laughing with each other right now Yeah, come on we see even a guy I added the two shows they had on TV. I mixed them good. Sorry guys Stan Hope I think but I know Sorry guys stand hope I think but I know Just shut your gun. He's done. She's done. She'll hell. Obviously. Yes Brian Regan. Yes. Yeah, I think yeah for what he he created that style of comedy fluid just to stand up. What about rich Jenny? Oh, we've had about Gaffigan Gaffigan. You make an argument. Rich Jenny

Top 20 Jenny Jenny Adam Adam Ferrara We're trying to dwindle this down you're adding names I was just trying to get a laugh though actually Good. Our boss is French for no real promotion Bill Hicks Yes Bill Hicks

Yes Yes, fuck you dude You should have anybody should like Bill Hicks Come 20? Yeah dude, out of your shitty comedy and your fucking crazy face Bill Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal Yes We gotta find it where we are, but yes, we got I got across all five

I get it what he's done I like I mean work alone. I would say Bill and Patrice right there. I'm giving them both check marks I'm We're gonna see yes Yes both check marks. I'm saying. Okay, I said Patrice above birth. We're gonna see. I say yes. Yes. Bob Newhart. Yes. Yes. What's our list that now? What do we have? All right. If we give it a try, we're gonna do three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Exactly. Wow. There was gotta put him in order. I put stand up above a person. No, stands helps off. I know. I'm saying why do you put stand up above a verb? I think you know. do you put Santa over? Does he just want to argue? No, what does that mean? That means you want to argue better. That means you take the opposite opinion just to fight with people.

Well, you're not a good person. Yeah. Can I make a point? I got you know, no, man. I'm not a better than Burr. Okay, so I make the point that I think it tells you being a list over Bob Newhart because I think we have yes We have fucking Versus an old-school guy. We have D David Hill no what do you do? He Change the game he's the guy so did David tell no what do you do? He every comic in New York right now doesn't matter started after O2's influence by a tell doesn't matter

Me does not mean start New York name That who do every guy in New York you can tell has been Mitch headberg did that every comic did that not that bad I know how his bitch was fucked up. Fuck, Mitch Hayberg did that. Every comic did that. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy.

Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy.

Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy.

Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy. Not all of you. That noise was comedy. Guys, first of all, I say new heart gets off and I put a tail in. You're out of your mind, man. Who says a tell over Bob Newhart? Bob, wait a second, Bob Newhart won a fucking Grammy. Bob Newhart.

So should a tell for such a memory. But back then, Bob Newhart was one of the first Bob old heart David tell come on guys Yeah, have you ever have you ever fucking listen to button down mine? No, I'm old fart He did it on it Two hit shows Two And all the people one hang on everyone right now that's not voting is there's afraid to go against bodies They're all agree with us. No, I said a tell no, that's not good. Listen. One. Hang on. Everyone right now that's not voting is the phrase to go against bodies.

They all agree with us. No, I said a tell. No, that's not good. Listen, I'm telling you right now. I'm just making my point. He had two hit series. Can I say? Secondively, that ran off of his standup.

Okay, his first one. A tell is a dude, fucking a tell. It's a fucking, he's a, how many hour are you looking at? It's a living legend. You got to look at his body award. It's my works great, dude. Look at what they a how many now look at it. It's a living legend. You got to look at his body award. Spider-Man works great, dude. Look at what name and how many hours is he have?

How many hours? Three. Three hours, what is he got? Look at me, you're the one who's both warm. You got skanks for the memories. He's got road work. Captain Mizrable. Captain Mizrable.

Those are the three hours and then the half hour comedy central special. And an HBO. And an HBO. Bob Newhawk. And a young comedian special. I got three hours of jokes that he just forgot to tell Best living comic great now. Yes. I mean the best living stand-up comedian. Oh, I don't know

I think it's the big hobby him. I think yeah, I think he's better than Cosby I'm I laugh way harder at David tell than Cosby bill bars the only person who probably makes me laugh as hard Greed I sign off on that. Anything you want to say to vote right now? It's very difficult. I don't know, because I'm looking at the list wondering if there's someone else to move off.

These are the 19, not including David Tell and Bob Newhart. Do you want to hear that? I think Bob Newhart goes on the top 20. And I think. That's it. That's the decision. It's whether to put Bob to take it. Do you want to take it out?

I want to take it out. I would honestly. I would honestly I would take I would not tell these to go on. I would I would knock off Woody Allen. Yeah. Bob. Those guys are all interchangeable for me. Woody Allen should be in the top five. Yeah. But Woody Allen is unbelievable.

Really? The only one that Woody Allen is just I mean, you talk to him. You're talking about you're not just talking about a guy. He's not getting his bones as a standup. You never know. No, he did. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. You're talking about, you're not just talking about a guy. But he's not going to make his bones as a stand-up. We're, you ever wanted to make a stand-up? No, he did. Yes, he did.

Yeah, he did. You made all of his bones, dude. He did. His bones are probably the best fucking comedy album. It still holds up. It's still legal. You guys, I said that at the top of this, that is, X still holds up.

I'm just saying that we all became, we all became world famous because he was a director and actor. You can't, you can't. You can't. No, they let him fucking direct movies because he was such a good standup. They were like this guy Yeah, you can't you can't you can't stand up as unbelievable and you talk about inspiration Okay, okay, okay, all right, Joe. He's top five. I don't like you I'm telling you let's take a vote. But I think Bob Newhart, I think Newhart's gonna be-

Body of work, what he did for stand-up comics, and where he took it, I mean, how many- I know, I know how important it is. I want David to tell him the list. I think I can take out Regan, put it, tell him. I do that in a second. Okay. Regan's gone, let's tell.

Regan's gone, let's tell? What if- No, hey, I don't know. I can't. What if, because I walked on the moons one of the Great hours of all time now we're just hurting like comics we They're podcast I guess what none of us gonna be on any piece of paper none of us are on a piece of paper No one's ever going Joe before Lewis. All right, you know what fucking yeah, I say I actually have a club owners

I think Reagan is above nothing I think Regan is above nothing. I love guys. My bell buckle. We're going to end the show very soon. Why are you still wearing belts, man?

Get suspended. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. Fat guy in the 20s. That is a good idea. And I'll tell you this. The likeability. We're going to do a roof.

I'm not an iron worker. Why don't we do the three of them? Let's get a vote for Bob Newhart. David Tell. We just voted Louis. We actually need to get out. We took Brian Regan. We're going to take Brian. We're going to take Brian. We're going to take Brian. We're going to take Brian. Ryan worker. All right, why don't we do the three of them? Let's get a vote for Bob Newhart David tell just voted Louis I just

We took Brian Reagan Regan's gone in real problem with the tell being 21. I think that Regan has a better What do you call it? than a tell I right now Vote for who wants Reagan Reagan no no over a towel over a towel. If you're so hard, if the reason you're doing a tell can Dan vote secretly so he doesn't get fucking in trouble

I'll vote for Reagan over a tell can I say then go ahead if a reasoning for putting a tell is the inspiration He's an influence that's not that Reagan is more of an influence on the test There's more comics doing Reagan than they are doing a tell for sure Okay, yeah, I completely yeah, I just I don't even think it's close more of an influence on the top. There's more comics doing Reagan than they are doing a tell. For sure. Okay, yeah, I completely agree with that. And I don't even think it's close. I think in New York City, there's more comics doing a tell. Yeah, yeah.

But it was a lot doing Reagan also. So let's do all right. All right. All right. All right. Selling out theaters everywhere. He just did the first ever live hour. All right.

He's got a bunch of hours. Then we got our 20. All right, read it from the top. Okay, Reagan is a Reagan over at the it's out. We're voting. Let's vote Reagan Reagan Reagan. What do you vote? A tell I mean I tell it's out later. We're three fuck off. We voting comics Oh Just comics for the voter twice I can ask a question. It's tied up, but so Moses is the top breaker. Is this comics?

When these two fucking guys die, a tell's gonna be a fucking museum of comics. Look at me. Is a comics voting or a deep who and Chris get to vote? What's the matter? That's a great question. Yeah, everyone gets to vote. I say no.

Everyone gets to vote. Not everybody gets to vote. Okay, ready? A tell over Regan. A tell over Regan. Lauren, you can't fucking change to vote. Okay, ready a tell or a tell over Regan a tell over Regan Lauren you can't fucking change your vote you Over with Regan, okay, so one who are you with Regan one two three four Regan who votes for Regan? Okay

You're a fan a teller Regan you want to tell a Regan say Jamie Foxx again. I'm just some good in the couch. I'm not in this I'm just doing the couch. Do you know there? Do you know their comedy? I do okay? So you're a kid breaker, dude. Come on man. You have a Moses David. Tell the fan speak I'm going to go with what I know more. I'm going to go with Reagan All right Fuck you, David. Tell fuck on tell fuck on that she gets Lewis go man Joe comedy some of these to a tell Lewis to quiet down Do you just said that's his new pockets fucking tell?

I read I let's go. We are but this isn't an order so we have Rickles We have another three weeks of what you're going to go Tell. I read. I read. But this isn't in order. So we have Rickles. We're going to have another three weeks. What do you want to do? Yeah, if I was going to poop out of his well, Rickles. I really, I really sums up the podcast right now. You're fucking yawn. Here we go.

Rickles. That sounds exactly like the cowardly lion. You know what I'm going home, Bobby? I want to go home. I'm not going home. I'd stay in the city for Legion and Skinks. Are you doing Legion's night? Bobby. I want to go home. I'm not going home. I'm not going home. I'm staying in the city for Legion and Skanks. Are you doing Legion's site?

What is it? You want to combine it? Good time. No, I can't. I got to go. I got to, uh, badass. Who's the black guy? You guys need a black guy.

Mine, Rommar. Oh, there you go. Good black guy. Good black guy. Get a great black guy. Oh, that's a good black guy. That's a good black guy. Good doing a black comic every week.

I get it. I get it for black cast. Get a black guy. That's a good black guy. We're doing a black comic every week. I get it for black history. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

Do you know what a black audience member? Yeah, me too. Can I just point out the guy who wrote this list for time out in New York has been a journalist for five years. Okay, so that's 2000. He came to the comedy seller seven years ago. How about a date? Okay, do you want to hear the last? I can't bomb more on my business. I don't know what that meant. I don't know what that meant. No buddy. I'm not

even close to hearing that with that meant. I don't either. Buddy. Buddy. Buddy. I don't know. Bobby talks people down like a cab driver who's getting yelled at my friend you tell me to take right I take a ride I got this read you don't need my friend is right here. I just I just like the new lights. We got in the studio Okay, so he's a journalist for five years. Yeah, so seven years ago He went to the comedy seller. Can you just give us? Fucking Just a little bit. It's a little bit. I'm gonna piss. A fucking little bit. A little sprinkle of what you were going for.

I'm gonna a little hint. I'm gonna piss. I'm gonna piss. Any kind of hint would be great. He's a journalist for five years. Seven years ago. He went to the comedy cell. But the tag was the tag on a date.

He tagged it with on a date. What an open mic premise. I'm not even close to understanding what that was supposed to be. You know, we can see him moving. You're like, I don't know what the fuck happened in that video. That's like, it's like he woke up out of a nap and said that. He's like, I'm just five years can of sound 70. Yeah. What?

Why did you say that? That was bizarre. Guys, by the way, I don't think we need that much time to come up with the order of this list. I think prior one. Can we all agree prior one? Yeah, prior one. Guys, by the way, I don't think we need that much time to come up with the order of this list. I think prior one. Can we all agree prior one? Yes, prior one. I tell one. Okay.

You're still sticking with this and you got the murder of the island. So... I say Cosby or Carlin has to be two and three. Personally, that's what I think. I say it goes... What about Scott? I think that's the three. Anything you guys prior, Carlin, Cosby.

I agree, Carlin. Yeah. Prior Carlin, Cosby. That's what I think that's the three. I think it goes prior Carlin Cosby. I agree, prior Carlin Cosby. Prior Carlin Cosby. That's what I think. Chappelle Forth. Wait, we got the set on the top three here. Murphy. No, I think Chappelle's better than Murphy.

Chappelle has done it long. He's been a long way. Stayed doing it longer and he's out of work. I think killing him softly is better. I think Chappelle is a lot more meaningful stuff. You watch any Murphy again. It's hilarious, but he's just calling everyone faggot. Yeah.

That's true. Like Chappelle's getting, he's like's just calling everyone faggot it's true like she pal's getting it's like he's like he's like he's like he's like yeah but it's like here's a great Ralph crammed in and fuck gay people any murphy was so ahead of his time uh... what about that's luos is that he got a sigh we're all just packets not rockin five no get what the fuck did you just say rock is five i i just danger field five. I think Woody Allen is above Those guys. Yes, I believe that's to I think rocks top. I think he's 10 to 20. I think what he's above

I'm virus one carlin is to rock stop 10. I honestly I think I think I think rock is top 10 I think it's been a long time since he's been really good Personally, how that go did well, he's not he hasn't done a special in a while You poop that quick. I just I'm saying like a long time drunk like big rim blacker. I had a little bit out I said a little little poop-o-out. Let's all I had to let like the initial Yeah, the drummer try to let the cramp out of my gut. All right. Well, why you're gone? We have a tell one Regan to birth three I tell one Are you fucking now?

I Dane for gum and five Delvin me Jump out the fucking window And the fucking rice and beans rice and beans. Yeah, what can a bean? What can a bean listen keep the Robinson's eight Joey and then he's nine all your friends are just in there All right, so here we go. What do we got? I'm making my own order. No, come on. Don't make your own order.

What are you ordering, dude? You said number one. You guys were over how crazy was that? You know, for real last man, you turned into a little pussy with a ball. Run home. Fake ass boy. Yeah, you feel.

Got all Pudukio on it. Shut up, Bugger, that might be. You guys, it's gonna be on camera. I got a good one earlier downstairs in the cellar What is it? He actually we're in the cellar talking me and him and Liz Cellar's people cellar's me and we're all cellar dwelling, right? I'm a stand man Fucking this people eating all around him. He sticks his long thin soda finger up his fucking

Roman mask nose and pulls out a fucking cauliflower and then I'm sitting there we're like I'm like dude you picky goes I know and he has the finger on his finger I wasn't I did eat it no he doesn't have thin fingers the only thing thing about it is a book or I could take a slam no I love it you stepped on one. He's stepping on you all day today. Come say it again I'm not gonna say to get I know what you're doing. You're trying to set me up for a bomb and I know it I invented that you fuck I let you set a guy you tell him to do it again You're dumb and you don't work the second that's it shit. Yeah, I fight here. I know that move

It was a good joke. It was a good fucking. Yeah, it was a good joke. Do it. It was good. Just do it. It's not gonna bomb It's good. I'm not falling for you tricks Yeah, look at those lips like LL trying to get me to do things. The only thing thin about Dan is his skin I like that. That's funny Yeah, that's what you said. All right, thank you for stepping on it All right nice talking to you. What the fuck, I get this. All right, this show, how's the crowd doing?

I'm showing you. You just saw every comedian's mental process. That just signified how every comedian thinks. He's like, fuck this, this stupid. I want to leave. I want to go home and cry like me. What do we got? What's the list, Lewis?

Oh, look. I'm sco- Loop- me. What do we got? What's the list? Lewis. Oh, look. Look at the blue bow. Look at the blue bow. Just go up on the loose together. Blue bow. Blue bow. That's a real ass butt.

Wow, blue bow. I can't wait to robots do this stuff that Scobo can do. They can't. They already do. He's not gonna make fun of us. How do you like me to call? I can't already do it. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call.

I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call.

I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call.

I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm on a main phone call. I'm number one. Everyone agreed. Richard prior number one number two. Carlin Here's the thing the debate is gonna be George Kiley number two. Yes Done three. Yes or no. Yes or no. Yes. Yes. We agree with that I'll agree with it. I get it even though I he doesn't make me laugh harder than most of the other people on this list Okay, that's great. Too bad stuff the Lewis list. You're one person. Yeah Make up. Yeah come up with a podcast three. I say shipel No, I should have Cosby. Cosby is so much far Be Cosby. Chappelle it's gonna be crazy. I like it. You're both in me, but I have to go with Cosby. Yes, Cosby. Cosby. I think she

But don't count shipel out on the rate Cosby Cosby Jesus Christ. Why would you say Cosby? Go because that's how you get things started That's a handle kick. We started this whole thing. Big ones there is the left Chris Rock, Jerry, Simon, folks. I think I personally say Woody is four. He invented the self deprecating nerd comedy, part comedy, all that shit.

Woody's four. Huge influence. Bob hilarious. Holds up. Now I say Bob Kelly's fifth. Yeah, it's a bit in there for years. I think five Bob Kelly. Robert, you're the fifth funniest comic in this room.

Wait, where's that band? Three, you fucking jerk. Yeah. Put that on your microphone. There we go. Who's for? It was Woody Allen. Four and then five.

Yeah, no, we only need five. I might put Patrice above Patrice. I put Patrice above Patrice. I don't. I don't. I mean, she is fucking. She's my guy. She killed them, saw a piece. might put Patrice above She'll I put Patrice above the shi-peo I don't I don't I wish Patrice. I mean she is fucking shi-peo's my guy Kill them solve a little Patrice one of the funniest things kill some is amazing, but the second one is not nearly as good He's so Neil To me you almost didn't put them on the list and he's your friend

He passed you're out of your mind dude. You're out of your mind Patrice is on my list. We just recorded. You were just like, yeah, Patrice, I don't know, dude, because this is it. No, I didn't say that. Play the tape back. We don't have tape. I thought Joseph Taper earlier. I mean, I'm just supporting him. I don't know where my tape is. Listen, here's a deal.

I got something. Patrice is one of my favorite comedians. I say Patrice is before she fell. I'm fine with him being five. I think he's five. Patrice is five. Okay. All right. Patrice on the other side. And Simon was there as well. Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld. I think he's five. Patrice is five. Okay. All right. Patrice on the other side was there as well. Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld. I think Louis CK next.

I think CK is five. I think Chris Rock's next. I think Chris Rock's next. Oh no. See that's what you know. Let's just get five and get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Let's just go turn around each other. We're gonna have a King Rat situation here. My point is this. You fucking. Here's my point. 12 my point 12 and you cannot make a list There are no lists we have proven Manyapolis this weekend you're gonna learn there's only one list and that's Joe list Yes, I had learning anywhere this weekend. I'm creating my album in Buffalo here New York you're gonna

List the comedy then we all agree on Joe list. I think what's this album's out? I think there'll be a new list in the mix of the list you're gonna have a kid I can't cuz I'm riddled with sexually transmitted diseases. I don't think it stops you from reading I really believe that you cannot make it you cannot make a fucking list. Let's go to the guys Good not if there's someone around you to hold you accountable You can't if you can't because someone it's personal. Like if we weren't here, Lewis would have made this the way we would have been all guys. Number one, Rob Zombie, he makes me laugh a lot. I think his movies are super good. Number two, Big J, because he let me open for his special. Yeah, I'm like, do you fat fuck?

Number one, I told you on the phone, if I you open for my special you would have never been able to Wrote what you wrote to Jay on Facebook. You would already wrote it to me And I told you I already wrote the same thing to Nate and I just erased Nate's name and put big Jay's dumb name And you got log. He's not even in the group Logan you could have got me could have got sorry could have got Lewis you could have got scope out just kidding You could have got Scopo just kidding. Okay. You could have got Scopo. That would have been a little bit of asterisk just kidding.

That joke was the funniest thing Scopo has ever done. It doesn't quite add up. That's the problem with that joke. Not a deal. If you'd said funny thing he's been involved in, that would kind of... That's what I was going for. See? I told you.

I almost stand up for yourself. This is why I punch people in front of my kids. Why are you in front of me? Jesus Christ. All right, listen. Oh. Oh. Jesus Christ. All right, listen, let's go around the room. We're done. The list is done. Yeah.

Why don't we go around the room and do I list? There's no list. We're not doing it. No list. We're not doing it. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list.

There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's no list. There's some more Kissing the lips a little bit. Let's do karaoke. What's what? Wait, I want to do karaoke you Jersey trash You guys want to go hit on a guy that fights your husband

Guys, that's don't drink more so my kidney stone might fall guys You want to get really drunken yell racial shit at a cab driver? I'm hammered. Guys, let's go get a magnifying glass. You want to dry up on a couch so a guy comes and you make him feel gross for coming? It's a little dead head respect for your joke. Can you finish it? Yeah, just... Yeah, because he's not wearing his headphones.

Which headphones on? You do radio for a living, you fuck. Dude, that was so funny. You were halfway through your joke, nobody else was doing it. Bobby had no confidence in himself. He just whispered it. Yeah, he said it was good as Joe, he's had fun. It's delivered.

Bobby's Joe is like this, he goes, let's go, just go. He's like this, it was called subtle. No, it wasn't, it was good. Dan said, no, I got this. Did it tell her? I didn't, as I feel like when someone's running the ball from an interception and I got to take the ball, I'm going to be a better. I didn't, no, she was only watching it happen.

I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. I have to go learn my lines. What do you mean? TV show? TV show starts Monday. Which show? Sex drugs you want to roll. Oh, that's the podcast, right? I thought it was peace loving rock and roll. Sex and drugs and rock and roll. And rock and roll. Sex and drugs and rock and roll. That at the end and not

between all sex and and great drugs. Because there's some fucking maybe some asshole in 1984 got that the own that name So they had to put ends in between. That's why I met Bobby kind of valet and he was he was like oh We we had sex and drugs rock roll first and we actually gave it to your show and I was like well You're fucking lucky because fucking vinyl is so much more easy to promote. Yeah, fucking sex and drugs and rock and roll What what's your show you on sex and drugs and rock and roll. What is your show you on? Sex and drugs and rock and roll. That's how?

Sex and drugs and rock and roll. I'm on Billion, but we actually filming in your studio. Yeah. You know, many times I submitted Billion's and I never got on and I didn't find out why I saw it. There's no black people. No, there's not. Well, actually, there's no black Bill and no bad acting.

Well, there's also not a lot of black billionaires. Hey, guys, nothing on the show. No, there's not actually there's no black bill and no bad acting we're black. Whoa! Oh! Jesus Christ. My nose is... Have you guys ever hung out with body? He calls black people shitskins. Oh my gosh. This is horrible. I am. Who France?

This is... I mean, that's just brutally racist. I've been literally no sugar, no grains since Thanksgiving. Yeah, you looking good? Okay, trying to go to the gym. I just agree. This is four or five... Four or five times a week, right?

And really bust in my ass, right? And I go to the fitting and I'm like, this is gonna be great this time. So I put the first shirt on and the lady literally slices down the back of it. So it's, so it can butt in. And the shirt goes, oh. So.

And the girl goes, ew. And the girl goes, ew. Oh, we had some real magic today. It was a good show, but it was a... Tell the people what website your show was on. What? It's a jab at your show. I was just making pretend it was like a web series, you know. I know it's a real show.

I was just trying to be funny. I figured it kind of was a little funny. That's why you chuckled I am then no one else laughs you were like maybe I'll stop laughing and pretend it was a bomb, but really no I think we all like to protein. I think we all need protein. I need amateur teens. How's it proud? How's the crap? How's the crap? Ah! That's what those jerks are going to do.

Ah! You got to leave on that one. Write that down, man. What are your teens? What do you got? I got black ski trips. What? What?

I'm going to mountain. Tell jokes and ski trips to black people. When? Black people don't ski? Exactly. They just sit in the hotel and get drunk. And when they come downstairs and then they are you? There you go. Where is it? Uh, Scranton, Pennsylvania. I was just in Sc hotel and get drunk. And then they come downstairs and then they are here. There you go. Where is it?

Scranton, Pennsylvania. I was just in Scranton. What is your website? DaveTempleComedy.com. Dave, thanks for coming on. What's your Twitter? I'm DaveTemple. Across all platforms, check out my podcast,

First World Problems. Thanks, buddy, for coming on, dude. Good to see you. Yeah. Sorry, everyone shouted during the great story about you guys getting a big fight. Everyone shouted, but me. I think we're all excited today to be back on.

What do you got, Joe? Besides beautiful hair. Oh, thanks buddy. I love your lips. Well, I don't like your lips. I'm sorry. I love your lips. I like your hair. Oh, thanks, bud. I will not compliment your lips. Can we have a cigar together sometime? Yeah. And write a fucking TV show together. Yes!. Oh, thanks, but I will not compliment your lips. We have a cigar together sometime

Yeah, and right a fucking TV show to get. Yes. What about? Oh, okay this weekend sat Sunday great. How was Saturday? This week I will this comes out Monday. Yeah, yeah, this week I will be no two Monday to Mondays All right, well This one's coming this weekend. This one's coming this Monday. All right. Well this weekend I am the St. Louis. I met the St. Louis funny bone all week. Wednesday through Sunday, April 1st and 2nd, the big hunt in Washington, DC. Yeah. I love it. And then April 29th and 30th Providence Comedy Connection. I got a bonus

situation. I love those guys. Listen, man, if you're in fucking Providence, you got, we got a lot of fans out there. Go see Joe List. I I just dropped your name Dan Soto's name and Lewis Gomez's name at McCurdy's You lose go There's another guy. Yeah, I hope you're picking up right after you dropped it. I see I But I dropped you everybody'sp? Yeah, please, please go P. Take it easy, Joe. I will be at laughs in Kirkland, Washington. Is he taking his life? I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I will be at laughs and Kirkland, Washington Is he taking his third fucking mocking bird shirt? Yep

And I will be oh at the brokerage in Belmore. Oh God fuck wow long island Yeah, and then I'm gonna be at Charlie good nights in Raleigh North Carolina Good night. Oh, who's your agent now? UTA How they doing good? I got a big rock tour coming up in next September October okay, all rock clubs. Yeah, oh then I'm at the American comedy company in San Diego at the end of that's a great club. And I'll be at Moon Tower.

All right. And I'll also be dancer. I can. Moon Tower. I was there one time at the answer. I'm sure. Moon Tower is a fun festival at Instagram. Dancer.

You like it's in Austin. Yes. Really. Moon Tower. I'm very low key festival. Very nice. Very fun. I have a lot of fun. Oh, I'm sure a lot the game was a

Pocket pussy last time I was there Wait for $4,000 man, why don't you hear my jugable pocket pussy? Yeah, I like it Lewis why are you fucking going back and forth like a fucking Jewish person reading fucking scripture? It's got to follow soon. What are you doing right now? Guys, check me out on the countdown every Thursday at 6 p.m. Eastern Center time.

Can I say something about that? What? It's a great show. Thanks, buddy. And I really wanted to talk about this fucking McGregor fight. Yeah. I can't believe it. And I wanted to talk about this fucking day day 5,000 horse shit yeah

I watch just day day data data data day day Dada day we have wise on it listen day these are girls name are you done just letting you know all right he's in the hospital from way cut down he's in like 45 pounds right 40 40 pounds 40 pounds he's in the hospital from what I don't know He's in like 45 pounds right 40 40 pounds 40 pounds. He's in the fucking hospital It was probably the worst thing that ever could have happened MMA in those two fights Yeah, I mean the worst it had ratings off the fucking charts. They took the icons of the fucking sport the icons

I mean the the mother fuckers who set it all off, the two guys, and it was fucking embarrassing. And then they took Kimbo slice and Dada who literally rejuvenated backyard fighting and it made people who wouldn't have been interested in MMA, all of a sudden interested because these are the guys that fucking lifted that whole backyard fighting off the ground and into the mainstream. And it was a fucking embarrassment. Yeah, that was one of the worst fights I've ever seen. But you know what the truth is, people don't fucking, the average person walking on the street, they don't fucking know or care.

It had the potential, they had the potential to put the card together, if they put the card together correctly like Joe silver and And made a card with a good fight. It's a good fight good fight That's stupid. It's been a fan. They should add a better Real fan. No, here's a deal right Bellator. They can't be with the UFC as they're the competing league and it's like WCW in the 90s They have to do these big crazy parlor tricks and put on these freak show fights and the truth is something you're wrong I finished my fucking point, but they have Henderson. They have Henderson. They have daily. They have, though, they have, they have fights. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're

so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. You're so mean. guys go is because nobody gives a fuck anymore. Okay. So here's the truth. Okay. The you have seen it the same

thing and this is the reality of the sport. There's too many things that could go wrong in the world of MMA. Ronda's gonna get kicked in the head and she's gonna snap his fucking leg in half. Brock Lesters eventually gonna fucking fall

from grace. So the truth is they can't bank on any of these specific fighters. Um, this is what happens with the first Fox fight. Look at fucking Canvass guys who came in and got in, he was doughy and got knocked out with a shitty shot that didn't even look like a landed behind the ear. And that was the only fight they put on the first Fox card ever.

This sport, it's not supposed to be mainstream in the fact that it's gotten as far as it's gotten. It's very commendable for the UFC, but Bellator, they need to do these things. I think they should go in that direction completely. I think they should do an unlimited weight class. I think they should do super heavy weight fights. I think they should do more tournaments,

more one night tournaments, different sheets yourself that as much as you can from the UFC and you might have a successful business model. Okay, but most people won't know the difference. So this would be the same as comedy where you got like, yeah, people don't know. Yeah, true. I'm a new fan of shows.

Yeah, as they come out. Top 25ers right now, let's go. Putting together, you know, like a show where you got like, yeah, people don't know. You have a new fan shows. Top 25ers right now, let's get putting together, like a show where you just do crowd work. Right. Do you want me to do my plush? So you're saying that Aari, Shafir and Big Jays shows are the bellotaur of comedy. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah, your plugs, baby. Yeah, count down every Thursday, 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Great show. Versa 93. Great show. RR93. Great show. Keep interrupting the fucking plug. So I can't tell them where to watch it or listen to it. I just say great show.

Yeah. Hey, there you go. RR93, 6 p.m. People know that you're great show. Legion Skanks, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 9 p.m. Not a great show. Great show. All right.

I love that you switched it up. You don't push the microwave. Great show. Great show. All right. I love that you switched it up. You don't push the microwave. You actually push you away from the mic now. Here's come on. What do you guys? What else you got? Buddy, come on. You got to get going. So let's try to fucking say it and go, but job Bobby. Well, I'm sorry. Go also the real ass podcast, the gas digital network, brand new gas digital network guys. Make sure you check out all the amazing shows over there. Guest digital network brand new gas digital network guys make sure you check out all the amazing shows over there gasage and network dot com

What do you got that Chris gopo on Twitter and Instagram your dates real quick? Can you fake something one week? Thank you. Well, I have a show marks 10th near your comedy club. Lewis J go meds on the bill Whoa, we have a show marks 10th near comedy club. Lewis J. Gomez on the bill. Whoa We got a show together Me you and Scopo. Oh, yeah, that's right. Is that open public now? I don't know is it? I don't know if I can I come what do you got? Yes, you can all right on Twitter and Instagram are to Dapo And I'm thinking about starting a kickstarter repair a floorboard at the cruise Grizzly pair So if you want to how much I'm not sure why you doing that? There's like this one clanging floorboard there It's driving you fucking. You get they're all on their fucking phones the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of the court of Show you. There you go, leave that. Oh, that's it for me. What do you got?

At Lauren Kubara on Twitter and Facebook, on Instagram. Bob and Dates, the show really took a fucking... Yeah. A fucking sugar die. No, because we used to have breaks. Yeah, you could like roll into the plugs, but then the plugs became MMA talk, and then it got fractured a little bit.

Well, it got fractured, it was my fault. I said I wanted to talk about that. But Lewis intrigues me when he talks about MMA. And I've been off the grid for two and a half hours. Off the grid. Yeah, he told my wife. Bobby has one date coming up, April 23rd in Kingsport, Tennessee.

Step it up. Check it out. One date. What is it? One people's 23rd, Kingsport, Tennessee. I am. It's for God's sake. I'm shooting a fucking TV show, dude. Oh right, the internet there. Get out one date I am good for god's things shoot a fucking TV show. Oh right the internet. Yeah That's joe and a world and there's a fucking roll available We're part Buddy I'll act right now dog. I'm not a kid. Can we all audition for the part right now? Can I be a girlfriend on the show?

Guys I have a nip a black nerd look at good. I'm dressed the part. There's one part that's a Hell what if I do need a fucking you're out because you're already on a show You can't be on what are we can tough guy or nerdy guy with her piece or the black guy with a beer? I'm already got her. He's never been done never been done. Even my girlfriend hasn't done it. All right Here's it here's a scene ready. You out you have to deliver a drum kit to me But you're a great drummer and you see me and you recognize me and you just flip out because you're a big fan of mine I'm a great drummer and I'm flipped over you. Yeah, you flipped out, but you're a great drummer, but you're not famous I see so you but you oh my god. You're a band band. Okay, so I open the door ding dong. Hey, what's that?

Robert Kelly no Yeah, it's out dude I just gave you the script I ready go ding dong Oh my god, are you bam bam? Are you bam bam? I fucking bands name is now you're out you're out. You're out. You're out. Can you show them? No, do me. Do me. Do me. Do me. Do me. Show them his billions. No, do me.

All right, ready? Okay, go ahead. Ding dong. I don't mean to be rude. What's up? Are you bam bam from the heathens? Yeah. Holy shit, man. You're the reason I'm into music. Okay, hey, hey. No, I'm freaking out out right now Would you sign these drumsticks for me? Yeah, listen my mom said she sucked you off and Guys you guys are the best thing the other best fans of the fucking world Thank you for supporting my show and therefore supporting all these guys shows because my show can't first true

You're the Genesis and they fucking stole my idea and just made it better But then come back and grace the presence of this studio I want to thank Deepu and Scopo and Lauren The fucking back the honor of the show who make sure everything fucking Works and comes together even though I yelled them and I fucking hate them. I really loved them and I need them to survive So thank you guys and the fans. I want to thank all Moses for coming in and hanging out. Did you just mix us up, Bubby?

No, I said I went black guy and I went that way. What's if you want to come in, what's the website? I mean, what's the email? Like YKWD Producer at Rikest.com. All right, and if you want to mail us something. 117 McDougall Street, New York, New York, 1-0-0-1-2, care of Robert Kelly or YKWD. Hey.

All right, you guys are the best fans in the world. Thank you for listening. Make sure you support all of our comic friends at their shows. Go up after the show. Say you heard them on the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.