Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Top Tit

Episode Date: June 11, 2012

Comedian Joe List, private eye Tattianna Freudenthaler and 'The Glory Hole' podcast's Rob Sprance join the crew.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network.

Riotcast.com. The time has come for you to get up off your ass and go see Robert Kelly live on stage. June 12th he'll be at the Gotham comedy club in New York City. June 21st through June 23rd he'll be at the comedy club in Webster, New York. And June 28th through 30th he'll be at comics at Foxwood Resort and Casino in Connecticut. Go to RobertKellylive.com for tickets and information. Get up off your ass, go see him live, laugh your ass off, meet him after the show, and maybe, just maybe, he'll even sign your boobies.

Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leroy. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what, dude! This is Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude?

You Know What Dude? This is Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You know what we need? You know what we need? You know what we need? You know what we need? You know what we need? You know what we need? You know what we need? You know what we need?

You know what we need? What did you say you're taking off the labels? Why? Because I only need to re-up my contract, Bobby. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. You better fuck with Guinness. Fucking cunt. Stop it, no ready. You really are just a fucking twat.

Are you really fucking doing that? I was doing it as a joke, but now it looks serious. Oh, I'm sorry. I really took it. Yeah, I was just trying to joke around, but apparently now. Are you really? Yeah, right, I get it. Show your phones off, everybody. Dick had on my flight yesterday, as I told you. Your phone off, Kelly? I need to joke around but apparently now are you really yeah, right? I get it. Shea phones off every dickhead on my flight yesterday

It is I don't know if Kelly. I need to have it on because I time not not you don't need that Put on airplane mode, okay, you know what you do showed right there? Patience yep, it was nice. I like it gonna take patients in time I'm so glad you're here Joe. We are. Are you good? Are you good to go? I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine. You said that again. At the time of that, you're good to go. All right, cool. I'm really fucking. Come on. Shut your face. All right, so we're here today.

Why are you starting this like a funeral? Shut the fucking fan off, please. We're here today. Last time I was on you did the same thing to me, dude. What? Last time I was on, it was like, I sat down and you were like, OK, all right, so here is, you know what, dude, podcast. That's real man.

Let's start over. We're starting over. We're starting the fuck over. I've over Let's start up. Let's start. We're starting over. We're starting the fuck over. Everyone put their pants back over. Here we go. We're starting over. Okay.

Can you give me mine back? Hi, we're here with you know what, dude? Podcast on riocast.com. We have my good pal and fucking co-host sidekick. Sidekick. Fucking boy. That's on the show Dan man boy I'm a side boy that really makes me sound like a twink I'm a side boy

you're so nodded you're you're a bare monster twink yeah I like the guy that like the really big bears that can't fuck twinks they get me That's boy enough. Yeah, you have twink hands, but fucking band I don't have twink hand you do have the little hands and I have a nice kickass green bandaid I know on the right finger too With that shit accent you know what else is here fucking rewind voice Rewind voice Okay, Kelly's here Kelly Fa Stoke Okay, I got a Fa Stoke ice-wheated We have we we we we we get a little fucking stressed out because we do so much shit before we come here unlike some people

I'm sorry I'm not Axel Rose fucking sitting in my trailer, not coming out for it. He did kind of just walk right in, like you got out of a limo and just walked up the steps. Oh, yeah, what's up, yeah. Let's do this.

You guys aren't ready? Get fucked. Behind the podcast. Start funny now. Going downhill, and stand. Yeah, and we have Rob Sprance here uh, is the founder of Ryakast. The king. Yeah, so if you, if you want, if you want your own pot, if you have a good podcast and you want it to be on Ryakast, just email Rob.

Don't email me shit. I don't want it. I don't want it. I got a nine or ten out of his. I don't want to hear it. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, He's looking five on the way over here. Hey Rob, I got a great idea. How about a podcast for my mother's basement It's me talking about all the faggits in Boston I was like, what that's not gonna work. I just I just listened to my work. I just listened to all the shows

I listen I listen to dudes and the other Faggain was that commercial. It's my favorite commercial of all with the dudes from Boston and they're just yelling about the The kid with the guy upstairs What is it called with the it's a you can watch all the TV in the different rooms. Oh, yeah And what is it come on it's not direct TV is it Kelly's you computer on nice What is the what is it come on I don't know fucking hoppa? What is the what is it? Come on? I don't know fucking hopper. Yeah So you just dudes in Boston in the place of hopper you got the hopper hopper Hopper hopper and then it cuts to the grandfather. I said shut up

What would you want me to Google that little hopper hopper? I don't know there's information they've for me to find anything. And I'm a struggling right now. Okay, shut your face. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just! That you fucking maybe Google, I've gotten you iPads and computers and fucking internet. I spent fuck shot up! This is Bobby's Pacino mode where he starts with a slow-mo. Oh yeah! You're on a one up! It's hot and twat! Cut! It's not a fuck! It sounded like right before Ray Liyota as a young kid gets beat up and good fellas. You're on your way.

And months! If you remember that scene, it was- At least fake have your computer open and fake touch your keys. When we're looking for something on the internet, you are the only one who can do it. Can I just say, I wrote the train here with him today and it's good to have the true show-ess back everybody. I had to jog to the train for you guys. I'm sweating and jeans.

Dude, all I thought about was the Dicks when he walked in. Just how many Dicks? I first think it's silly walked in. You had to jog because it's the neighborhood you live in. You have to jog to the train. Did I say? There he is, motherfucker. He called me.

He's like, ah, fuck, that train's not coming here. I'm just going to run to Queensborough. I meet him at Queensborough Plaza, and he fucking looks like he's working junk out of a system. He's got to fuck it. This is what brings him to this. Everything's cold in the top. Good on you, Joe.

We have the beautiful Tatiana. You guys don't know her. She's a friend of mine. She's a comic, a sparring comedian, correct? And she's actually does a private investigation work. The show you're on, the show that was, the guy you work with is Parko, right? Yeah, Parko P.I. Parko P.I. was a reality show that was on a few years ago. It's not on anymore. I think he's coming back with another show. Parko's Angels or something like that? No, no, no, no, that was actually

through Horoldo. They came and did a live segment and I went as undercover as No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right. Yeah, let's get the baby blue out of Apple's house. I'd love to see some of you just grab a tit and lay it out. Oh, I mean, her name's Tatiana. She knows how to bait people up and she's a private eye. I'm gonna run the fuck away. Do you think that's what they do? They just grab for the tit right away. Like, it's the first move.

When women fight, first thing they do is they throw that sloppy right and then they grab hair. Yeah, they throw that in hair. They throw that Larry Holmes over there The first thing they do is they throw that right they understand that oh this shit isn't gonna work because I don't hit hard enough Yeah, and then they just grab hair and fucking yeah, it's like a hockey fight It's hair. It's my way bitch dude. I love candy candy so I might let Kelly just go ahead and beat me the fuck up Just like I'd eat her also. Yeah Hermaginus makes the candle

If you ate her vagina I'm not into girls until an hour from now One of a giant cake I got some hard candy in my pants I'm a fan of Kelly's long emails I Like I don't know if it's because I'm lonely I just I just want someone to write me and nobody does how about you read a book No, fellas I did as always bitch about Kelly's long emails, but you she gives you long emails They get long or not super long I get long ones, but there was one where it was so long

I didn't know what's going on. So she said okay, let's I'll I'll call you and figure out what's going on What do you mean it was so long you didn't know what was going on? Like, there was so much, I don't even remember what it was, but she was trying to direct me to find something inside it. And I'm reading the email and I'm like, I have no idea what she's saying. She's giving you a word puzzle. Yes, I said, let me call her. And then she's at a club or like at a bar when I called you.

And then that's her comedy club. And I said, Kelly, you just tell her, what what did you what did you want to get? I had no idea which I don't think Kelly is Kelly has never worked a club without the bar in the actual room with the staches has never done a set without hearing not only this being made thank you everyone. Five minutes.

But then most friendly ones they put me in a good mood. Oh, yeah. Come on. When I went from dealing with you all the time to dealing with her hand the time, it's a pleasure. Oh, it's way back dealing with Kelly. Kelly actually came and met me today at Starbucks and we start a talk like her without

the extra time. It's contagious. Oh my god it's contagious you might have. You're turning into what you hate. You caught the Aussie. Clanket Joe, I'm turning into your hair cut. Why do I have a non-starbucks t? Because I made it here for you with my own hands. So you asked me what I wanted I said a t. And I made it for you. Show, what are you getting at? I made you a fucking cup of tea. The truth is, get a little bit of a...

He's got a writer now. I'm sorry. I think I got all the brown-out-ends for him too. Kelly, did you not get Joe? His starbucks? Everyone else has got a nice beer and a... You got a beer! No, but people don't know that.

Everyone else is shitting on her. I wanted to shit on her that was gonna be fun but I love the tea it's terrific Joe did you see a little fortune maybe is there a fortune oh boy here we go you will be a middle act for 30 oh no it just says stash yeah this premium tea yeah the biggest dick ever Well, it's you know came in with a dress on and then obviously she's in Daisy dukes And we don't know how it happens just Self-man I fucking walked around. She shows up. Are you fucking? I'm not wearing a fucking dress in here

This is a gorgeous apartment. She's a very she's a pretty girl. Okay, Tatya is a pretty girl She shows up with a dress all like holy shit Then she whips out a fucking bloody hamburger out of a bag and then she's in daisy dicks like she's a magician Welcome to the trailer park. Did you not have those on under the dress? You know ice Photographer My father Name is name is name is filling right now. We also call him Spanish photographer. Yeah, it's a big film. The other guy is a photographer. Yeah, it's a big film. I forgot his name.

He has a name. His name is Phil. We also call him Spanish five-punch. I was standing right next to him. Phil, did you see me walk past you and change right next to you? Well, then I am a fucking ninja. He did, he did, gentlemen. But I didn't.

Here we go. We're going to bring this around. Ready? You are actually a private investigator. I am. Which is, you do that full time at part time. That's what pays the bills. Yep. How long have you been a private investigator, which is you do that full time. That's what pays the bills. How long have you been a private investigator?

Nine years here. Do you like Aaron Brockovich? She was a lawyer, I think. She's an Alina and a mother, Dan. You only saw the trailer. You think of Magnum? Magnum PI. She should have.

Yeah, yeah. It's like Magnum PI except for the paratets in shorter. Yeah, you used the Dideat. I don't the parotets and shorter Yeah, you just an idiot I'll throw out my knowledge without any backing You look like you own a fucking bar and the keys like you come in and like hey as your classification What happened you in a week? You're like a regular person. I told you I'm fan-dan now I'm a cure for retardation you Tiredarded last week. Sorry.

You looked good. Oh, Jesus. That was me. It was Jack. Oh, shit. I look at your panicking feet. Somebody has the phone on. Somebody has the phone on.

You're like this podcast. You can't shit on people within the first 15 minutes. Everyone gets weird. But then like 40 minutes in. You know what I mean? You guys are fat.'re talking to your guitar but up early on you're like you guys being too close together what's true?

we're doing it very good I think they're pretty good stop sticking up for it it looks good the neutral if you were fucking drawn in a Sunday paper they'd be good he's so cut-tuney. Oh, boy.

So, let's not, let's just look at Rob. Come on, bring it. Let's wrap it up. That's the podcast for this story, you're listening. So you, you mainly investigate what? I know you're looking for the cheating spouses. No, no, no, I'm not. No, no, no, I'm not.

I'd say that's what a lot of people assume, but I'd probably say maybe 5% of that. It's cheating. So here's the deal, you're going to a place and you will fucking hit on a guy. No. I guess. You go, hey, stop.

You're going to a place and you'll start blowing a dude. No. Okay, you go to a place and you take a tid out and flap it in the guys eye. I really should have taped the show in a little. Knock, knock. What you went into a place. What do you do? You know, you see hides under the car like Ginerro, Kate Fear. Can you imagine sex with him? Sex would be horrible. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm thinking about it

right now. I'd be like, Hey, can you touch it? Wait, let me guess. I'll touch you right to the left. I don't know about that. Let her bomb on her own. No. But if you like that. You're not gonna fucking insult me. I'm gonna let just laugh at it.

This is not a show. We don't just laugh at shit. Or you do say if a... Say if a fucking dumb Aussie just goes, ha ha ha, I'm with you girl. Listen. I'm gonna defend you. Then defend me.

I'm gonna defend you and go, she knows it has to be about her. You know what I'm saying, she's... Hey, she has an obvious thing to say about where better Kelly before the fucking... Oh, yeah, defend your ingrashy. I was he has No, no say sorry bees. She hasn't always think about her better Kelly before the fucking Oh, no, go ahead. Go ahead. What do you fucking do? So say if it's a cheating sposs case. Yeah You're calling us because you're a no he's probably cheating guy or girl So yeah, okay, you've done you've done girls cheat too. Oh, yeah, yeah, is it more guys though? Mmm, I'd probably say out of the 5% I've done of that it was even even no shit. Yeah, yeah It's like 2.5% I like to when it yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it works the truth

But it's it's there's a Truth and mathematically sounds I'll give you a scenario Say There's a female. She was the owner of this company. Female. And she had this big huge company.

And a huge company, two of them. Two of them. Two of them. Yes. And husband wasn't making that much money, but he knew she was cheating. So I was actually with entertainment tonight and we were filming everything. We didn't know what this chick was gonna do. We actually caught her in her whole window.

She left everything open, and she was just literally fucking the guy on the desk. We got everything. Then we ended up following her with a cam too. She drives like a maniac. So here we are with the entertainment tonight. You needed more after that. Yeah, but not enough.

Yeah, we want anal and better treasure. Well, we want to know where she's going, the destination, his house, everything. So because what happens is in court, you're going to need that for evidence. He already knew she was cheating, but for court purposes, a lot of people want us to prove that they're cheating because either

custodial or because of money rights. And so then therefore you have what you need. But this check, like I said, she was going right out and we can't believe it because we followed her before and nothing, now that we have her in a team with us, we're just sitting there next to you know, full on action, I'm like holy shit out of all times. Are you kidding me?

And now we're gonna show clips of it. So you wait a minute, stop. I'm here. Okay, so you're, you're, you're, you're, you're looking through, you're an entertainment. Who is it? Entertainment tonight? Right, they're with you.

Yeah. You're looking in the window. Now there's people fucking. Right? Are you guys just, are you watching the whole thing? They're taping, so. So here's the thing because, Jesus, five minutes.

We're on a room right now. We look out the window, we see a couple fucking, I'm gonna watch, cause I'm a dark woman. I'm watching, and I'm gonna be in jail. It's not happening. Sorry, come back to us, Joe. It's okay, just so I believe. I mean, I'm gonna fucking watch jail. It's not happening. Sorry, come back to us, Joe. It's okay.

I mean, we'll want, I'm gonna fucking watch that in a sexual way. I'm not watching it in like an investigator. Oh, yeah, exactly. Was it fucking hot? Um... The real sex is never hot. It's just like... You know, it is, but isn't because of the...

I'm sorry, real sex? Where are the sexes? The porn sex is hot.? What I have said sex Not so much like the you fuck the voices you make You think this is boring sex I mean when you're watching her fuck, wasn't it sexy? Was he?

Not, not so much. And I don't know if it's because I don't think that she or he was really attractive. She was a she? Not. That's next. It's barely J there. You're in the rock place if you don't think that shit.

You're a little shit, but you're also all miked up and we have cams and none of us can say anything like we're just like holy Yeah, like you know holding the mics like everything is recorded so we got to watch everything extra now and Really, but say if a there's a scenario where maybe she's Kelly's your wife and I walk into Mommy I want to check it, let me... Oh! I'm a moment, mummy! You want a bag? You want a sauce? You want a bag and a bag and a bag and a cheese? I love it!

I love it! I love it! I love it! Cola! I'm a second on the egg, baby! I love it! I love it! I love it!

I love it! I have a sex. I'm not kidding. I'm kidding. That'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It hasn't happened now. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But say I would walk into a bar, become friends with her perhaps, then she would start talking about, oh, you know, you have a boyfriend, or maybe he would be with her,

then I would have a pink ham on, and it would capture everything that she's telling me or everything I'm seeing, all the voices, everything. So you capture a lot of stuff like that. So you bring it to court and then she's fucked. And you've caught and gone. Have you ever done it where you have to, I've seen that show,

and some of the girls actually will go and pick up the guy Right and and make advances towards him like a Whatever and and and no for the show no not so big go on the first the original show Yeah, Parko on parko. Um, it's not so much to pick up the guy to see if he's cheating I mean, maybe we need to pick up on the guy in order to get information We need to know where he lives or this or that so we flirt with him for that because maybe it's a landlord tenant case and you say you're living somewhere and really you're living somewhere else. So I'm gonna say, oh, where do you live? I would love to come to your house and he's gonna admit to his ad or so. Whatever we need.

But it's not so much. Did you know like here's the fucking deal. Here's the show. If this girl, Tatiana, comes up to you at a bar, sat it in there, you're married, right? She shows up, she starts yapping. And then she presents herself to you. You're zapping. Yapping might not be the best. On a platter. There it is.

So she's tied. She starts yapping. Yapping. Yapping. It's funny because I see where the story is going, but you use yapping which takes away Yeah, right Bonus gone

So then I mean Rob if you were to bar you love your wife you go But if she showed up at a bar you're a little tipsy she started hitting on you your wife thinks you're cheating on her She hires Tatiana to go check she hits on you a little bit You might fucking not because you this kind of entrapment, I mean, that's kind of, I would, she's not hit me on me, fuck. That's like, god damn it, you hope that that would never happen to you as a married man, having a girl like her hit on you.

And, but who's to say how far he would go, or not, is he gonna see you? Right, you already got my dick out in the bar, like it's not getting like that. Yeah, so you would, you would, you would fucking turn her down. Yeah, I would turn her down.

So what if she was like, I want to suck your dick? I would have to turn her down. I'd say thank you Silver Rob. So I can look at her, I have to look at you. I don't know what she's here to turn Bobby. That works. Bobby's like, I was so ridiculous. No, no, no, no.

Is there any way you would offer to suck a dick right now just to see if it really just to play it out? Yeah, Kelly, how much candy is on that freezer? There's a lot There's actually free mandolin. I've got a shitload of fruit for holding your mother fuckers. You know, we shit on me I'm done. You get My all-so what are you gonna try to cut me off of the knees Kelly? She's gonna poison everybody's water here one day Yeah, she's gonna sit around here. I find the other episode where she

There's had to turn the mic on how she gonna How she gonna poison our water by doing her acting to it How's she gonna poison our water by doing her act into it? Oh! Oh! Those on fire! Joe's on fire! Who's true? I don't know about fire.

I had one mediocre to the eight bombs, but I- Joe, wait, I had a fire! Joe, sorry, you're a fire! You saw my Bobby and I brought it in a U.S. I've never seen you right there. You've never seen- well, speaking of- From a liquid, it would be. I don't know if I am a eager can handle that today Bobby really yeah

Kelly you all right listen I've been rough on Kelly today Now you haven't been Everything you give me out of Kelly being Kelly's been very sensitive today. No, I haven't Kelly's I had therapy this morning. I think I'm a bit No more therapy on fucking podcast. I couldn't have done it on the talk. I couldn't have talked with no more therapy because you get fucked up and Alan opened you up and all of a sudden you come here and you're a fucking wound. You're talking about molested for 20 minutes. That fucking they molested for some steak.

Oh you. Yeah, just staring deadly at you. I didn't get a lusted steak. I sucked it dick for steak. I was just showing. I didn't get my lest. I'm really glad you clearly defined that for me. I don't want to accidentally suck a dick for not steak. I sucked it in a closet.

It wasn't like an habit. It's dark. It's a mulligan. I just remember it tasted like a foot. Tastes like sweaty iron That's always are you really say that you really don't want to do it? Are you can you can do it? Yeah, you do it, but I think I'm yeah I wanted to talk about the fucking cuz cuz we got Tetsy on here. I want to talk about the fucking FBI agent

We met on Saturday night. Oh, here's a deal. Holy shit. Dan Soda. I call my friend Kelly up on Saturday night. And I invited her to Anthony Acumia's house. And Kelly came over with me in Norton and watched the fights over at the front. The San Jose. At the front. It was awesome.

Let's try not to fucking be jealous. I know, I'm looking at his face. I'm waiting for it to come. I had to watch a shitting bar in San Diego? Like that bumped up in a bunch of places? We watched it in movie theater. Oh, it's like a movie theater. It's like a movie theater. It's like a movie theater.

It's the first time you've ever seen this sport. It was also following it since the first one. What a waste that I was watching in a movie theater. You don't even know anything about the heavyweight division. I want to watch the last guest one. I was the mixing guy. What's he in the game? Why are the hardest to forget?

Did he open belts? I was so sorry that I was wasted on me. You're a foreign piece. I understood. And then everybody was in the jacuzzi and the pool Downstairs karaoke Everybody was like karaoke barbecue now remember the hot dogs you made me I made you hot dogs even

Came in the scooters came in the big theater. We all had our seats. It was Kelly, Anthony, me, and Norton, right? In the middle row. Watching the fights. It was so good. How cool that fight. It was really good. I was really good.

Yeah. Yeah. Good. I thought this segment was gonna be chilling on her. What happened there? You're like, I don't know if I can handle this. I had therapy. All right, talk about the best night of my life.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Well, actually, originally I called her up. We were talking about something and then I go, look, I'm going to, I go, I'm going to Anthony's house to watch the fights. Anthony, come to your house to watch the fights at this big party you want to go.

And I just hung out. I'm not even sitting next going. Ole course she's. I'm not even sitting with text going. Ole is Australian candy. I have nothing. I regularly straight back, because I put food on the lawn. Yeah. And the horn was right next to me. And I go, you want to go to the party?

And I just go collect it. Would you hang up on her? Yeah, you can laugh. The horn was like, yeah, you can invite the dummy. But here's the funniest part. The end of the night. It was what, 4, 30 in the morning. Yeah.

She had to be a work at seven. Oh. No, it was in the jacuzzi, like a fucking gurgon, three hours, three fucking hours in the jacuzzi. We were just sitting there fucking around talking to people blah, blah, blah. Finally, we left room 4th and she had to be at work at seven. So we got right

through the tunnel. We just told her, you know, here, here's some cash. Get the fuck out. And she, you know, Kelly, she's such nice. She's just kept going, all right, you know, there's no cabs. She's like walking by again. No one's like, we got it. You're already said goodbye. Get out of the way. Stupid hand up before I kick her. All full asshole. I had to tell him that I had to sing for myself. I had to tell him the Fisher story on the way out there But he answered me as chip which I thought I fucking hate chip Chips and asshole I have a brother in the line name chip When when my sister started dating him this is back in the house phone days presale and

He would call and I would leave a potato chip on the table and write called on her niece If we could just edit that That joke was it was a lot better when she was dating dick That's how you get them back I would have my dick. Are you kidding me? That joke was a fucking a bit when I was 19 back. I would have my dick. Are you kidding me? That joke was a fucking A bit when I was 19. That was killer. That was my opener and my clothes are what I was a teenager. Alright, anyways, let's get to the part where she's going to need therapy to do because that was it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, holy shit, you've got a gun. Yeah. And I was like, why have you got a gun? And he's like, I'm like, anyway, and he goes, oh, I work for the FBI. And now I was done.

He just put, he just put the gun on the table. No. Yeah, he put the guy on his bag. And he put on the table because he's like rearranging stuff in his back. And I'm like, these guys are the, he's either the table because he's like rearranging stuff in his bag. Oh, that's as you do. He's got a purpose. He's either a cop or he's with a mafia or the way. Ooh. And he's like, I went for the FBI and then it was like just every single. Can you please define that noise you just made? What is it?

It's like a lady bone out. Hello. Did he say, I am an FBI agent. Yeah. Johnny Utah. No, he was. He was a real a Jew one. But he's.

I'm with you. Joe, I'm with you. Joe real a Jew one. I'm with you. Joe. I'm with Joe's back. Joe. Joe, I'm bringing people next time. All right. The thinking of the beers. He doesn't want to cling beers. You a college shit. I had to get that one because the first one missed. Keep saying, come on, Joe. Clean, clean. You know, he doesn't want to say it. Clean beer bottle. You're a damn. I he does when he's not here.

Oh, it doesn't today. Well. I love when Kelly does her noises. The fucking awfulness in your eyes, Dan. This is how I know you like Kelly, because you want to go shut the fuck up. He's like, he's like, he's just pinned together and he's trying to kill you with lasers. I like that. I like that.

This podcast is like the opposite of an improv team, where you bail each other out, but you bail them out by just shitting on someone not involved. I got to have a joke that bombs and Bobby would be like, so do you're a faggot? You're like, all right, I'm back. Yeah. Yes, and fuck you.

I didn't quite go down like that. I know what you're saying. He didn't just put a gun down. I actually started talking to him first. And then he told me he was at FBI age and then he pulled his gun out He put it on the table. I was like holy shit, but he Callie he was married to but Kelly you should have seen her light up. What is he's a young dude? He's a good looking dude Italian, you know like

American that's an American actually killed because she loves danger she likes fucking black dudes Black guy Dan And I'll throw you to America ratio I get nervous when I start yelling at him when she fucks up that she's gonna try to suck my dick. She's as I think I'm really on beat Am I really on paid on top? I know, I know. She put a cigarette in on me. Put a lot of cigarette, put it in on me.

Oh, I'm free, but you need to be free. Kelly, you fucked the coffee up. I got, what are you doing? He just freeching. She likes the band. She likes the band, and I get it. As soon as he started talking, and he's a smart guy, he was really cool,

and she was leaned in and crossed her legs, and she was like a little kid listening's a smart guy. He was really cool and she was leaned in and crossed their legs. She was like a little kid listening to a fucking bedtime. Watching this fucking jackass talk about how cool he was. And I was too because you went to fucking two, man. I did. I even had a joke. I haven't even seen the guy now do you too. Because he did a technology. He had like this awesome fucking watch. This computer, it was like a computer Bluetooth watch that goes with your phone your iPhone and he had like cameras in his house we watched his kids sleep. Oh, that's a little baby. His little baby deviated septum. It's so cute. SIDS is cute. SIDS.

You played an instrument and everything. You pull out an acoustic guitar too? Not an instrument. I bet you play an instrument too. You have perfect dacus piano. I'm like, do you have a brother? He's a brain surgeon. He removes two minutes from little babies.

I'm like, I'm out. I get out of here. I love the fact that this guy probably is just a real piece of shit. Just a lone shark, who goes back to his fucking one bedroom, where he's like, that's someone else's house. I just read camera. He does fucking, other shit with stolen stuff.

So violence, no, he does mafia. Mafia crime, he does, organized crime, FBI, organized crime. Do this kids know joke, man. What an asshole. It's serious. Did he put a quarterback in a high state? What do you mean, what a hat? Yeah, you guys know it's dope. What a nice boy. Did he put a quarter back in a while?

What do you mean what a hat? Yeah, you guys know. We need those people. Why do you need the mob, right? Come on, it's nice sometimes. It's nice what is it? What do you say? It's nice, it's nice.

It's nice. Sometimes you need hard working people to have to fork over their money and exchange for not being killed. That's like the part of society. As soon as something happens in your career, you not being killed. I'm like, what? How does this happen? As soon as something happens in your career, you're being replaced by Joe Liss. Oh thanks for repeating. Kling, Kling? Something's already happened, right?

Yeah, nothing happened. Fuck you. Nothing happened. Oh my God. Oh, he's been a dick! What happened? Dan? Dan, if you had the first person I would tell Bob. No, I wouldn't yeah you wouldn't

You would have something more famous on Twitter. Nope. Fuck you. I stopped doing that shit. All right. All right I'm gonna bust out the news this March CBS everybody loves Dan Everyone loves monster voice And the watch about annoying fucking hole. Oh, Dan We're looking at an Australian right now That was one of the notes I got I had Conan Smith my manager who's been I know agent the business will William Morris for years Gorgeous a good-looking guy. Oh. He actually I asked him to watch Kelly's five minute tape that she sent me and he evaluated as a professional in the business on the

industry side. He he actually a valet. What's that face? Have you heard it? Yeah Kelly or no? No. What's your face? Why are you doing the thing like when they ask a little kid to go up there and like I'm gonna hold my breath until you can't how did you splice together five minutes of tape not all hurt just cuts in its fall your polypounds stone yeah and there's a little there's a minute and a half of Yahoo series a lot of dolls a little wipe that coming like what is it all Rut Butler tape right you seem breath like Butler You seem The seams are off that big Oh Jesus Oh, baseball mix. She looks like when

Like you know when you know when a heavyweight champ Or tires and they get all fat and Blown. Why are you looking at me? I'm not. You know what I'm going to say when I walked in? What? Is that Bobby Kelly is Losing weight. I told him today. See, I wasn't lying. I told you today. What is that Bobby Kelly is Way Today, so it wasn't lying. I told you today. You look like you lost weight How do you go from fucking zero to 60 so fast?

That's Kelly's personality I've been listening to the podcast and you know I have to like make sure that people aren't you have to mix it yeah Well, no, I don't mix it, but I have to make sure like people, but Kelly gets very excited sometimes. Yeah, it's adorable. And she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have to make sure. It really is one of the cutest things in the world.

No, it's not. It's fucking annoying. If I dressed her in a Koala costume and she did that, just her face out and those furry fucking gray ears. I'm with them. It's adorable. It is adorable. We should get one of them.

Oh, man. Oh, what did I leave back? I'm with it. It's adorable. We should get one of the Oh, man, what did I lose back up? I will fucking contribute. Oh look at you From Guinness listen to the end of what dude podcast like a fucking in a van outside He said he said Guinness. He said we just didn't say get it's one dry Irish doubt He nailed it. Tatiana is working for Guinness. He said it. He said it. She's that good Talking to a mic nipple. Sorano's got the disc. That's why I took the so big she has Mike's built into them What's going back to her love in the mafia so much? Yeah, I know Guess what I saw the angle so I saw top a top tip. I was making sure I was gonna let us down. What's top tip?

I ate my burger. Right above, right before it starts curving. For those of you at home, she has stacked tits. They're one on top of the other. Like Lego? Rob, it's like Tetris. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of, oh God, if a girl can lick her own nipples,

you're down with that. Two things in my, I love when a girl has long hair that she girl can lick her own nipples, you're down with that. Two things in my, I love when a girl has long hair that she can tickle her own ass. Oh, I thought you were still talking about the nipples. No, I'm gonna nerdy up like, world are you living in a shit that comes out of a fucking waterfalls? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaking of elves, the Bobby. And has control of the end of the bear. Please have a seat while I lick my nipples. Oh, it's brutal. It's brutal, it's brutal, Bobby. seat while I like my nipple You Shit listen I like when I used to date girls are really long hair and I'd make them likes like getting naked on their knees in the corner of the bed Was this Corner you really speak like a ring?

I kind of dirty bitch. I would make it. She did say make twice. Get a corner I would make them get in the corner and I put on their knees and kind of put their head back Hi, Stevie Wonder faces It's herbal essence and they would tickle their own ass like I just love and then and then when you what you weren't seeing was them rolling their eyes How many you don't cry? Make up running down her face. Like 21. What did you just have asked her? Does that do anything?

That's what I'm talking about. That really is a passion bobby. Just a ponytail coming out of her. How are we going to go? Before I make with you, the silk sheets go to the corner. Have your hair dush, the top of your butt. Dush. Dush the top of your butt No, I want you to lay back let me turn on the chumidify

We don't promote that beer on this fucking podcast Stay on the do sucky. Yeah, you, Daniel, almost spilled your Budweiser. Whoa! I think you mean, Guinness Black Logger. I really love that there. It's actually really good. It is really good, especially on a hot day when you want to fill your gut with yeast. Least isn't every beard, dummy.

Think you know one of those is like having beef stew on a hundred-duty day. Actually, it's surprisingly light, due to the nitrogen. It makes it smaller bubbles. And Guinness Black Logger's a logger. Logger's the most poppy style up here in the world. And we're back. Hey, welcome back to Bobby in the Monster. What a one-night! Spotted by again is his, of the air for everybody. He's prepared to be to feed food.

Listen, I like when a chick can suck her own nipples. So that's just really she has to suck it or because you just like reach it. Well, first of all first reach. I mean, that would be the first part. Just trying to do it like nothing more unsexy with a chick with a drum roll with a chick with an a cup titty trying to reach failing. Just her. Licking a collarbone, trying to get your foot on the back of her head.

Come on. I don't really. I don't really. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm doing a nice American boy. I'm going to say prove it. And if we can, then I know Kelly again.

She could do it. We could pass her tith around the fucking table. We could join, she could lick it. I'm kidding, it's not that much. I don't even know what that means. It's such a huge, not huge. I'm a big fan of this move. We're going to do the elbows together. Kelly's tit is a very huge.

Come on, do it. Do it for the root. Kelly does this. No. Fold it up. Like a fruit, like a fruit roll up. Just let's it go. Like a cartoon tongue on a floor. Yeah. Let's it go. Like a cartoon tongue on a floor. Yeah.

Kelly's tit looks like he's melted. I'm sorry. I got great tits, Bobby. Do you really? Yeah. Prove it. Oh, yeah. No, Gageo last week said I got tits.

Really? Yeah, but he saw them back when you were fat. That's true. I don't understand that. some of you said gay Joe She's banged a guy and it'd be an effect in She's saying gay Joe. I know you join other. Jay, but you said the words gay I say gay There's a multiple there's a roll of decks of

Joe you know what do you podcast? There's first off dangerous Joe Rosa danger original danger the original dangerous. So there's the truth Joe list Yeah, and then he's gay job right the Australian gay guy who took pictures, right. He's not as good as you feel Just kidding if gay Joe's listening I like gay Joe. I like age or two love Phil. I like Phil. I wish Phil would you? What did call I'm not in this Greek look didn't Quinn column what did it who's the chick from Regis and I'll Kelly Kelly Come on Dan. We're not helping you That one doesn't have boys

It's how it's gonna be I'm sorry dude. I love you. That was wrong. That was wrong You know you pulled a canter. I pulled my pulled the derosa the roast used to do that He goes oh, you're gonna voice. Yeah, you know what else I have I have a chin Me no job I stopped doing your voices. I'm kidding. I love your voice. That's cool, dude No, you know what you're just getting this voice the rest of the show Fucking uppercuts you and then you jab me. What was that? You Joe to Rosa. Yeah, well, you know, I don't have a chin and I'm going with the room Fucking uppercuts you and then you jab me. What was that?

You know I don't have a chin and I'm Joey with the rope Fucking Jack twice in a row You got like the son of a this yeah, you got no chin you go me goes no Joe and I go me goes no the other guy That's not here. I can't defend himself He meant it you and then you defend himself. You know what I just did? I'm the game. I really meant it you and then you fucking verred it to me. It wasn't that you. It wasn't that you was it. No, it was it. This fucking tube. You pointed at him. You don't write my name. I'm like the gang member that shot the house and I didn't mean to hit the kid.

I didn't mean to hit the kid. First of all, Rob, what you said no chin actually was what I do. What? What I do? I was being played. It's not. Can we go through to talk to you on his incredible breasts? Not incredible. Yeah. No. I don't know. I know. click a little bit to talk to you on his incredible breasts. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no opens me up like a book. He's like, hey, I'm gonna make you cry right now. I'm like, okay. I yelled at him yesterday. Did you? Yeah, because he was fucking bugging me. Stop making me, you know what?

Stop making me figure shit out. I go, are we gonna go here to here to here to there? And then I finally go, what do you mean this? Yeah, yeah. Well, fucking say that. I got 45 minutes cock sucker. And then I got another fucking shit that's waiting to jump in here. Let's just get to your, what you think. And he sometimes he gives me answers where I just fucking get furious, where he goes, so just don't drink.

Yeah, it's not that easy. He's like, just don't drink. Yeah, I don't want to sometimes, but it just happens. Yeah, it's not that easy, and you look at that clock again, I'm breaking your fucking pinky. Take a sip from your different coffees. picking take a sip from your different coffees Take a fucking sip from your different coffees. I was this I put my coffee in front of the clock

Geek fuck yeah, you're not looking at that clock. I did once I told you I want time I go you fucking look at that clock one more time I'm knocking you in the head with it he goes yeah, we'll pay me my real rate And I turn the clock around it well it's two o'clock great. Oh, and I turn the clock around. Well, it's two o'clock with 15. Anyway, any booby in there. There's a couple of things we skipped over. I actually, I actually yell at the end of my like when there's like three minutes left. Sometimes I'll just stack on. Fuck that. That motherfucker. He

don't just because in case one of you caught the suckers were out there. I just want you to. I told you, I told you other day, I was taking a dump and I thought you walked in because I know you're on, I know you're certain time you've told me your time. And I'm taking a dump in that tiny bathroom and I was hoping the door and I go, Bobby, come out. And it's not Bobby, it's a lady.

I'm just taking care of business. I'm taking care of it. I'm trying to take a dump in that toilet. Geez, you can't help but sweat. That's what happened to me last. I'll tell you this. I'll get it this but you said we forgot two things. Go ahead Dan.

Bring it. First off, we need to get back to Conan's notes. But before that, I'm sorry. It's just I'm going through the syllabus of the show. Tatiana's love of the mafia. Yeah. You said we need those guys and Joe brought up a good point and then I got psyched.

Yeah, why do you think we need mafia guys? I kind of can I just say this before I agree with you? I have a really like this fucking weird thing with mob guys I just love them. I think they're fucking cool. They almost sounded like a sexual fetish. Oh, no, no not sexual I love them. I think they're cool guys. They're always fucking nice. They have some weird code of respect for people, old people, women, kids. I don't know. And when they like you, and they know you're not in the mob, they really treat you fucking nice. They do extra shift. I mean, you can't get too far with them. You know, I used to have a good friend in Boston.

I used to work at Lafamille Juggios. You remember that place, right? I don't. Nice talking to you. So nice for adding to the show. Nobody? I don't. Nice talking to you. So nice for adding to the show. Yeah. Nobody knows you don't. Right on tap, bro. Let's try it again. You know that place, Lafamou Jo. Oh, fuckenay, that's nowhere on Booby Street.

Yeah. Booby's. Booby's. I'm not an improviser, I'm sorry. Who are you knew about improvising? Really, when you give your analogy. That's all I know, I don't. Oh, fuckenay.

We have tits and shitting on people to do with enough of me. I love it when choice Grims We yeah, like he I remember we was one of my good friends. He gave me this really cool keychain knife and I'm a one day he gets in the car. I'm pulling up to work He goes he just jumps in my car He goes go around the block and I'm like for what? He gets out of the fuck around the block and I go all right he goes you got that key chain that I go yeah it's on the key chain he goes give it to me and I give it to him and he goes right let me out here meet me down the street I go all right so I meet him

down the street like 10 minutes later he gets in the car I drive around drive it to the restaurant pull him to the restaurant so I pull and I go where's my thing? I'll get you a new one. I get you a new one. I just fucking stuck it. Yeah, it's probably somebody's back That's fucking amazing like yeah, dude We used to do shit like that all the time like we went to you know I love as if if he was just lying to you the whole time you get to have the car He's like oh god just throws it behind a building gets back and he's fucking go around the court go around the court He's pretending to be a mob yeah Yeah, he's like oh, oh, mom it was awful You just make up a shitty Joe Pesci comedy. No, I was gonna. Yeah, maybe let's write it

Joe will get working on the treatment Joe Piscobo's in it. We're trying to read get his career back, but love to you know My uncle was in the mob legitimately in the mob like like tied to the people you just say in the mob we know like no like it like it like a lot it was because I came up late I have a certificate that he was in the mob legitimately I graduation style you want to be official more fear easy certificate don't forget to put this on the back window. We'll call it. We'll ask people now.

Here is your coffee mug and you keep changing. Remember, do always do on the tenth. Not the first. We don't want to get you caught up in the wrong building. There's a lot of people not in the official mob. Let's pop back as I can remember. I always wanted to be a legitimate gangster. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob. Bob.

Ha. So. Yeah. Oh, that was weird. Let me be fair. We're tired. I was excited about the jokes on fire. Yay.

We're not on fire. We just give you the applause. I'm just encouraging you along. Did you? You did it. I did a movie quote. I'm saying, I'm saying, people, remember the movie quote. Hard of Joe. Yeah. I

Doing a gig and they give me a condo Could I do a retarded Boston yeah, are you fucking you fucking clear? Same thing I was like a swatch in agony. I don't know we thought people would have Boston accent. They retarded accents. Fuck yeah. Yeah, fuck it. Are you fucking him? This sounds like a drunk Boston accent. Fuck yo, dude. Fuck yo kid.

I'm sorry, go ahead. The legitimate. No, so like he used to do a lot of that mob shit. Like there was one time he was watching me and my brother. Right. And this bad decision. When are you watching? Like him and his, him and his, him and his wife, listen.

Ah! We were in the car. I'm gonna ask him. He was watching from a van. Oh yeah. So we were in a car and it's him. Fuck you, bro. You're not steam rolling over there.

Yeah, got it, got it. Listen, you gotta be specific. You can't just, the word she's here. He was watching. You was looking after us. I can't just, the word she's here. He was watching. He was looking at us. Sorry. Now, he's super vising out. He called himself Africa.

He was supervising us. He was babysitting you. Yeah, right. OK. So we're in the back of the car, and he pulls up in front of this building, and he says, I'll be right back, and he goes into the building. And he disappears.

And he's gone for like, fucking three hours. And being by a little brother in the back of the car, and then a limousine pulls up. And he gets out of the limousine. We're staring the entrance of the building Yeah, and then two weeks later we went to visit him in the hospital He got he got arrested and he was in there for like about I don't know five six years He really yeah, and he used to tell he used to slap the shit out of people in front of us and I mean I mean I pulled up to the first movie I was called ko Koala Bear Kid. Have I talked about that? Yeah. Yeah, and he, I had one of my, Billy Burr was in it, too.

He was the guy who kills me at the end. Irish mob guy kills me at the end. Because the Italian mob was supposed to get me, but they didn't, but then the Irish mob got me and Billy was the Irish man. He had a goatee. I remember his fucking angry face. And he just went, he just did a frown. Hey, man, you want some drugs? I'm good. Funk, funk But anyways, yeah, this guy was in the movie with us. He was he was fucking great man

He had he we went to Foxwood. He could he just be like what are you doing? That's why net when someone says what are you doing? I always go why? Because of him because he I used to always go nothing. I says, what are you doing, I always go, why? Because of him, because he, I used to always go, nothing, I'm just free. All right, let's go, we're going to fuck. I'm gonna go to work, I mean, nothing, I'm just free.

I mean, like, he called me, what are you doing? It's like, nothing. And then I'd want, I remember once I said that, I wound up at a restaurant, it goes, meet me at Mings. Mings was a Chinese restaurant, a revered beach that was closed my whole- I remember once I said that I wound up at a restaurant goes meet me at mings Mings was a Chinese restaurant a revered beach that was closed my whole I remember that place right? It's just always closed. I know mings is close. He goes not in the mole Joe the Bob had just got out of federal joint. We have an apartment We go down to this caddies and Mercedes park filled a parking lot we go in this dudes

Down you dudes with wife beaters on playing poker in the corner table I go to the table with him meet Joe the barber, right? Well, they call him the barber because he cuts off heads Dolby sudden this They bring it up lasagna and pork ribs and Chinese food and like Italian food together and they're like yeah We have an economy show here and I heard the guy moose he comes And they're like, yeah, we have an economy show here and I heard the guy moose he comes Moose he was around fucking seven feet wide and around

He grabs my hand he goes I hate doing a show. I didn't even like they didn't ask me yet It goes ahead you're doing a show you better be funny, right? Steven party fucking book me for the show at Ming's for Joe's party. His whole coming home party in a week. And everybody knows I'm doing it. Except you. Except me. So I'm like, oh fuck me, right? Everybody knows Joe the Bob, comes all these guys. He goes like, the thing I said when I got out of prison,

was I wanna see that kid Bobby Kelly. So I go and I get this kid. I know it's just socks a comedy. He blows. He opened for me like a week earlier somewhere he just sucks. So I get him to open figuring I get this douche to open. He'll bomb. I'll go up and fuck look like a rock star. So we go into Mings. It's packed. All mob guys and their wives. Not even the girlfriends. This is legit right. This kid goes up. I didn't know he was Italian. He had fucking 15 minutes of Italian

Just rocking family and he's killing Moosey comes out. He's loud. He's good. Dears as big as this fucking Gizz hilarious. You better be as funny I'm shit. I got no it Nothing I got school I got nothing I got I was a fucking confident cocky cunt I went up moosey grabs a chair turns it around sits just him in the just like in front of the stage no pressure up on me yeah and then I go what the fuck of what the fuck am I doing what and I just started trash but I go where's Ming and they go he's in the kitchen he's in the kitchen they bring out this little Asian guy he said peace and now bring them me up he's a very very intimate they you tickle they tickle my daughter say I know reopen I know see daughter ever again they take me on the stage. I was on the stage and this little Asian guy,

I mean, because he lay, he lay like gambling. So I guess he owed money so they took the restaurant from a cheese store. Oh man. But they still made him cook food for them and shit. Oh, dude, it was fucking, I pulled my nose. I know you guys want me bombing in the store, but I didn't, because I'm Bob Kelly, I pulled the fucking out of it. Yeah, I'm actually hammered out. I'm Bob Kelly. I pulled the fucking out of it

Ham I don't That remind me of a thing this is real quick, but when I first moved to the city This guy Paul nerd is he do you know fucking miserable Paul nerd is he? Yeah, he's a funny funny guy Oh, yeah, he's unbelievable, but he's been up and anyways. He got me this great guy He got me this gig in New York in Columbus Circle. It was like a batch of the party paid like 1,500, but he didn't feel like driving down here as a kid. So he's like, I'll give you 1,000. I'll take 500, you do the show.

So I get an open, I get Mike Vecchio to open. Who's gonna be great? Oh yeah, you're roommate. Great comic. Yeah, barrel chested. Yeah, hilarious. So like a fucking, he works out like he's a like a vigilante. Like he's gonna go around New York cleaning up the streets. He works out like he's a like a vigilante like he's gonna go around New York cleaning up the streets

He works out like he's got a death like death wish So that's how you get a soft opener So Vecchion I'm like I even Mike you want to do the only one a the only one I have far, I'm like, Mike, just do like 10 minutes, I'll do 20, it's easy, whatever. Vecchion just goes up and fucking murders the real, they're like, they're high five, they're pro. They pick Mike up and carry him up. And the guy goes up, he goes, that guy, I mean,

he's like, keep it going from Mike. And by the way, I only hired him, so Mike could introduce me. I just wanted a proper intro. You warm him up, this way someone will say my name last, but not just fucking. So the guy goes up, he's like, oh, I'm gonna walk up and he takes the mic from Becky.

And he goes, wow, that was amazing. Mike Vekio and they're like, ah, they're sucking his dick. They go, all right, the guy. The figurative dude. That's much not being true. I don't know. It's all figurative.

Sure, it's true. It was Julian McCullough. It wasn't. So, I gotta go, that was Mike Vecchio. And I mean, that guy, we didn't even hire that guy. He's just like some guy. Oh, God. Now, here comes your real comedian.

So this guy's gonna be, I mean, I can't even imagine. This is the real guy that we hired. Joe, and they're still chanting Mike's name. So I had to go up and be like, yeah, that actually was better than anything I'm gonna do. That's the whole, that's the best thing. That's a good way to open jar. Yeah, that guy's telling me.

That's happened to me before. But yeah, anyways, I've done it to people though. I've done it, I did it to Keith Robinson in Amsterdam. Me, Patrice and Keith were doing these shows. And then they had this special black show called The Bounce at the theater on one night and the person that was supposed to come couldn't get her passport so they one of the comics on the black show bailed and uh... i was like i'll fucking do it and

they were like we need a black guy go look i've done black rooms i've done you know i do them all the time in new york and they guy was like, are you sure? I was like, fuck yeah. So, uh, huh. What's a black, marine Amsterdam, like? It's a black, it was a theater, but it was just a black show. It was called The Bounce. It was promoted by black people,

and all black people go to the show. That's it, but black people in Amsterdam aren't black people in America. Yeah, that's something. Yeah, they wanna be, but they're not. They're, you know, they're a little more fucking, you know, Euro. Black.

You know, they're like black people like techno They uh They like deep half me Patrice goes up, you know first how he did you know he always did that he always finnig I just wanted to fucking bear you know no I went up and fucking Lit the I mean dude I fucking pop the place I just went up because I was nervous because I'm going up after Patrice It's a black show so I went up all that fucking

Let's go I want to thank you good night Place stay I mean pops play stands up I just leveled the fuck a joint but trees grabbed me like he's my manager. He's like Mr. Kelly. He pushes Keith. Excuse me sir. He's like Mr. Kelly and they're chanting my name. They're going, oh, but Rob. And then Keith starts throwing punches. Like he's, you you know to me when they start doing the shadow It was the funniest fucking thing ever dude. He went out and got him with the first couple minutes He was taking a nice hot one and

Trace would just sit there on the side like this Just like Shit hey Robert, what's up, baby? We need to take a little break though. All right Alright baby. Alright, so we're gonna take a little break. We're gonna come back. We're gonna touch base with Tatiana's. Yeah. Mafia fetish. Mafia fetish. I want to hear Kelly's right here.

I'm sorry baby. You said everything for me Robert. I'm sorry baby. You said everything for me. That's exactly why. The respect issue, everything else. Yeah, we'll go back to it. Do you have a fetish though?

Like for Mafia? No. We're gonna get into her fetishes Um, I want to get I want to get into a sprants is Brain a little bit good luck with that Sprants has the face like he plays the piano geniusly He just put them down like rush. He's like he has a savant like rush she's like he has a savant face I'm a wife to be me to the the fucking

fucking wrong why putting on glasses like they're casting an Australian 30 wrong I like look how I can Kelly is looking good cheers this is it's bananas I mean look at the fucking rib cage. Yeah, it's getting fucking weird. Nice start.

Pussy today. Yeah. I usually just say, I'm like, three balls. I'm like, three balls. I'm like, three balls. Joe's on fire. Joe's on fire. I will be back. Hey, this is Robert Kelly. And thank you for listening to the show. It's free.

All you have to do is subscribe and leave a review, a nice review on iTunes. That's all we ask is you to support the show. It will always be free, but we do need you to support our sponsors. You want to show love for the show? You want to support us, support our sponsors? Support the people that give us money. And free shit. Number one, we want you to go and if you're a fat fuck and you're trying to lose weight, you need to get something at your house. You need to move. You need to eat right? You need to eat less and you have to fucking move.

Did you not chat the door? Great. Who came in last? Might have been me. It was close. Like I said, I'm an asshole and I overreact. You're a fat fuck. Sorry, D'Al. Go to yowesofitness.com. Right now they have 75% off of their treadmills and they're fitness machines. I got a Biscayne treadmill. It's the best thing I have. I've ever gotten, I've been fat six times. This thing is helping me get thin again. It's at my house, I come home, there's no excuses.

It's right there, I can jump on it to 30 minutes. One TV show or a drama, which is an hour. I can just sit there in front of the TV, fold this motherfucker down, turn it on, fold it back up, it's gone, like it's not even in the room. Yowza, yowzafitness.com, make sure you go there and support them, support the show by supporting them, if you're a fat fuck by yourself, a nice treadmill, finance it. They have a chat, they have right there on the page, you can chat to somebody and ask them all the questions you need to ask them. It's unbelievable, it's the best thing I've gotten all year and it's saving my life. So make sure you go to Yowza Fitness and Fresh Balls.

If you have sweaty balls, you'll do. I do right now, actually. It's summertime. Kelly, what does it say on there? So first I dry fresh balls, singles, prevents sweatiness, skin lotion. Yes, it actually goes on wet and winds up dry. It goes on like a cream and dries like a powder. It's not, I've used it.

You know, I don't use it every day because to be honest with you, it kind of will dry out your nut. It's too fucking warm, that's in your pan. Well, but I do use it and it really keeps your fucking balls nice and fresh. Especially if you're gonna get your nuts sucked, if you're gonna go out and a hot Saturday night

in New York City, those humid East Coast days, put some of those fresh balls on, and your balls are gonna be fresh. So later on at three o'clock in the morning, when you get blown in a vestibule on A-AV in the East Village, the chick's not gonna fucking spread rumors that your balls smell like fish. You know what I mean? She's gonna be like, his balls were nice. There's nothing better than having a compliment about your balls

These balls were nice. That's the nicest compliment you can pay you especially a chick that's willing to suck you off on Avenue Yeah quality So get yourself some fresh balls We want to thank laugh button live those guys support the show we want to thank laugh spin And we want to thank cringe humor all these people support our show You know what dude in the riot cast network you guys are fucking great So make sure you go and check out those websites and support them. That's it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? We're TikTok! Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is? We're TikTok! With Bobby and Friends Alrighty, so we're doing TikTok With Bobby and friends So that's just that Hope everyone's boner just got killed Talk with Bobby and friends

Is he drunk? No, you're not drunk. Close. No, it's a fucking whiskey, bro. Well, here we have a table. We're doing a tag talk right now, but real quick, we got to acknowledge it. Because Joe, the truth, gets a little fucking OCD when he's just a sweet man. You want to be a sweet man?

Panic disorder and anxiety disorder. Right, and I don't want you to exact it's over. We everybody's signed. We have a table here at the You know what dude podcast. Everybody signs it. Um me Dan and um. My name's Kelly. Kelly. We. We signed everybody signs it. Rob signed it and then and we said, you know, hey, just your signature. You told them that right, Kelly. Yes. She said signed the table. I said, the table I said actually no you said nothing you said whatever you said

When I didn't see a J I said no just sign the table no and then Dan said let him do it let him do it I went okay, okay, so I step back because I So I wrote out my best bit I wrote out my best bit and it's full. So Joe, instead of, we just want people to sign the table because at the end after a couple of years we're gonna have full of signatures and then we're gonna shellac it and actually we're gonna auction it off for money

to the fans and we're gonna give them money to a charity. But now that he, it's so, it's okay. We just want to see him choose. So now Joe lists ruin that because he wrote actually that corny shit. You know, it'd be so funny after all the years of doing it,

Joe just becomes mega huge. And everyone wants that part of the whole thing. And that's the old piece that they want. Joe, I'll take this for you. I should, I didn't tell him properly. I didn't tell him what to do properly, so I'll take this for you. I should I didn't tell him probably I didn't tell him what to do probably so I'll take it but for 12 well however long how long dance been doing comedy? I've been doing one year less 12 13 years of comedy they say sign this you're supposed to write two fucking bill

Thanks for sucking my dick Joe list. No, here's the thing. How many beers do you guys drink? How many beers do you guys drink? Do you guys drink? I don't know. You guys, you guys, I don't think you know about me at him. What the fuck? I did, I thought I was gonna have one. Dude. Let's see, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, four, eight. You guys, he's really can drink.

I don't think he's emptied the new fridge. You know about me. No, I know. This isn't shit either. By the way, that's not a fridge, it's a cabinet. These are warmer than my fucking... That's a cupboard. That's not plugged in.

You throw me him and Nate and the other in the room? Is it not working? No, it's fine. No, it's working. No, it's working. No, it's working. No, it's working. I'll be drank five of them in ten minutes.

You guys are fucking just shit-faced. No, we're not. Yeah, yeah. Listen, nothing. What would Alex say? Alan would say, what did you drink? I'd say, my little business, my little business. Just not do it. Anyway, so we have tech talk today with Rob Sprance,

the founder and creator and fucking 50% owner of riotcast.com. That's right, brother. The other 50% is you. And we have Kelly, you got nothing, right? If riotcast was a baby, you two would be the lesbian parents that adopted it. Why do I have to be women? Why can't it be my two dads?

Because gay men always look good. Yeah, because it's funny. Yeah, gay couples are always pretty. We're not pretty enough to be lesbian. You're lesbianbian pretty. I have seen a lot of people that look like you with Katy Lang concerts. Really?

Yeah. Oh, wait. I wasn't going to go there. We're going to go there. Rob had one beer and he's on here. Well, you look like him. Who wants to fight? I wish.

You look just in America. Oh, bleep. All right. So we have Joe the truth you have Signature in the beers I feel like I should fucking you know Joe those my self those beers are for you baby I didn't know you're gonna drink all of them I mean maybe one or two. It's not like we're at a barbecue you cock sucker I want to have podcasts and you two fucking hands go through all the

You get nothing I don't know try You know I do tech talk on the show I do have some tech talk really yeah, I want to talk about Tech talk with Bobby I know it's gonna go Dan cuz he had something I want to talk about the Earbuds that I bought at the deli around I'm fine. You know what? I'm actually turning my cough You're mic is off.

You don't get to talk. Well, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, youW 600. What is that? It's a little you know how you always have your iPhone You have those headphones coming out. Yeah, you always buy real expensive headphones. You buy like the fucking The Dr. Drays, but Like it was amazing, but it was just obvious. You know you have those that iPhone with the headphones coming out that iPhone with the headphones coming out, like, I'm gonna turn them on. Turn them on.

Turn them on. The back. I was killing, but there's no sound systems, so we realized it sounded like these bombings. It's like when they don't like the audience, and you're just like, uh-huh, and this is the back here. Uh-huh.

What do you mean? This is a little Bluetooth connector that you clip to your shoulder, and you plug any pair of headphones you want into it, and has a microphone on it. So you don't have a cord running from your pocket all the way up to your shoulder and you plug any pair of headphones you want into it and has a microphone on it So you don't have a cord running from your pocket all the way up to your ears. So any pair of headphones any pair of headphones Let me see this you plug it into the top So any pair of headphones goes into this. Yep, and you make any pair of headphones into a Bluetooth headphone

Exactly, so you don't have to know more wires no more well just a wire from your headphones to the right That's it. That's it. Yeah, so you don't have to... So you don't have to... No more wires. No more wires, just a wire from your headphones to the... Right. That's it. That's it. Yeah, so you don't have anything going on your leg. You don't have to wait until it's red. If it's a phone could be in your pocket, your phone could be on the treadmill, your phone could be in your bag.

Yep. And can you... Can you... Can you just have a click option? Can you click to answer the phone? Yep. You can answer the phone, you can activate Siri, you can raise the volume, you can pause it, you can play it.

Oh. It'll even show you the track names everything. Okay, now here's my question, how long's the battery? This is the thing with a lot of these. This is pretty amazing. It's what's it called again? Sony MW 600 Bluetooth headset. All right, Sony MW, wow,

you can't even fucking Sony kick. Did you check him up with a cool name? Sony fucking RISO. That's like a very Japanese thing, like it's just coated at the MW 2. It's heavy, it's like a very Japanese thing. Look it's just coated the MW Man he's a dance battlefield. He's noticed a difference. No, she's just trying to say that No, you had a few I'm looking at It's all Joe no take a I want a photo hang on to Joe. It's not me. That's not Joe's you fucking yeah, there's a Joe can you get in there you fucking Alky

Yeah, dude, this is pretty fucking amazing. I mean the thing that's actually about these the battery life How I was gonna do about I've usually two or three days before I'm gonna let you play it the whole time Get like seven hours out of it. Because I had headphones, they were the SH8s, Sony's, they were Bluetooth. Little earbuds, I don't know, I fucking lost them, that's the problem with those things. I lost them because they're so small, but it was just an earbud connected to another earbud, Bluetooth. All the Bluetooth technology was in the actual earbud, so you could, it would put it behind your neck and

it was the best pair of headphones ever, but this actually just makes any pair of headphones into Bluetooth. Yeah, it also has a microphone, so you can make a phone call and just talk. So Rob, would that work? Like I see a lot of people like the Nano watches, there's like a Nano built into the, would that work if you plug that in to that or? If the Nano has Bluetooth, I don't think it does. Okay, I don't know what he said so to I know this guy so well so many years he is so

clearly feeling self conscious that you guys like I he's had a few this guy I'm just looking he may have a dead pan a question so let me ask you if you know what I'm not a lot of it is a recent call on the two of mine Kelly and Bobby are like, maybe he's not so drunk, maybe we be drunk. That's what he was going for right there. You know what? That was some bullshit.

It was the truth. Do you like the new show with the fridge? Now you can just get drunk. Well, I mean, I like it when Joe's here. Because this is... So let me ask you, he doesn't give a shit, he's trying to prove it's a brand.

It's like getting pulled over and be like, my uncle's a cop, do you know him? I'm not telling you this, he can't ever. It's like getting pulled over me like my uncle's a cop. Do you know? Hands if if the truth Joe list wasn't here. I probably wouldn't have drank beer I know he's one of my drinking buddies like him or Nate now. I'm a fucking I love it. I love it again tell the tell people what it is again. Sony MW600. And it actually, if you have headphones and a Bluetooth iPhone or any Bluetooth thing, you can actually make wireless headphones out of any headphones. You can jump from the phone to the iPad to the computer to the MacBook, back and forth.

Just to repair them. I love it. I actually got something new for Tech Talk that I'm going to talk about. It's called the Nike fuel band. That is fancy. Look at you, man. And it's cost $150. The only place in the world you can get it is Nike on 57th and 5th. You know what I'm real. I know, Dan. He's literally nodding. He's actually listening to me. He's pretend listening and nodding, isn't a good he's trying to be sober your right now

you've got sucker i'm not drunk did you staring at your i can see it in your eyes you're going to your nodding you're guessing me as i've got a uh... i'm not even saying your truck i'm saying you're trying to prove that you're not even a little in the area i'm a little buzzed i know you are uh... you can only get it at the Nike store on 57th Street and 5th or in New York City or London. Or you can buy it online,

but I think the only place you can actually get it is... That's hilarious! You can only get on 329th 57th Street or London or anywhere ever or you can order it anywhere fucking ever that has wifi There's two addresses or infinite amount of Or you get it online that's also If you want to treat and purchase it in person you dumb fucking dumb But I get what you say it I person, you dumb fuck, and dumb dumb. But I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying.

If you want to... Is this some fun next time I'm getting drunk with these boys? Cause I'm sitting here like the fucking stiff yesterday with these idiots home, and they're like, turn over here. Could we go to cave soon? We're even drinking hilarious.

Yeah, I know, Adam jealous. Next time I'm joining. She says she wants to be drunk with you, so she can be funny. We are a lot of fun when we're doing. Yeah, this boy is a fun. Listen, look at him. I can't believe how much you drag.

This is nothing. I didn't see all of that. Fridge wants. Tick tock. And then Bobby and friends. Frigirators. Let me tell you what they do. They make beer, lukewarm.

Yeah. We... That was amazing. Holy shit. All right, so... I got it. The fuel band. It's actually...

You know, you know... I'm gonna do the fuel band next week. No, no, no, we've done the fuel band before. We did? We did last week. On the... You can't... On the hand episode.

Why do you think I'm laughing? That's why I was looking at you. We did it on the safety episode The more sd's down there. I hope you don't get spots this weekend Jesus Christ Thanks Kelly I told you now But now you're telling me you. You were 30 seconds into it All you said was New York and London go. You know one did you take the

We didn't even use that tech talk. Yeah, it was on the episode that's out on last week You know what what you tacked it on the ends. Yeah, that tech talk that we did on the safety episode You took off to put on the Did you do that though? Yeah? You took off to put on the Did you do that though? Yeah? I'm gonna be on the Quinn episode. No, it was on the one that just came out on Monday You put it on the one that just came out the text hug. Yep, so you actually so he knew as well You knew as well. I didn't listen to it

You taking the eight three twats The three Kelly did tell you before you started Kelly said Max Payne. She told you was Matt. Yeah, that's what you told me what you took about. We gotta come over and play that. Okay, we're gonna do Max Payne. I'll fuck me in my fuel band. Okay.

We're gonna do Max Payne next week. Next week. And I'm gonna come over. I'm coming over to, I'm gonna come over. Are you, you're not coming over like this? No. No, I'm not. I'm not like, I'm coming over.

No fuck, it's gonna cost me $50 a week just to do beer. Now we'll buy beer. this. No. No got Rob Sprance, founder of Glory Home podcast, right cast network. What's your Twitter Rob Sprance? I had R O B S P R N C. All right. And the truth, Joe, lift. Yeah. I don't have any work ever again. So I will just plug my Twitter at Joe List comedy and I have a website comedian Joe List but I haven't updated it. And if there's a call if somebody has a room please hire Joe Liff for God's sakes I get about 150 to close and don't give it. I'm really sorry. I'll let them come you first. Do you ever have those things but people will go. What do you do? Not in the 1800s In your early days and my now ladder days people go what what what what do you make for a show and I'll go

I like to get thousand or fifteen hundred and I like well our budget's three hundred I'm like I'll take it Like just tell me what your budget anyways Joe at Joe list comedy Twitter. Yeah at Joe Lessie 2015 or 300. Yeah, I'm failing. I go ahead. No, you know you don't great good at Dan Soder on Twitter and if you're in the Chicago area come out to the LOL lounge Jay just for laughs Chicago June 15th I'll be there just for laughs Chicago. Yeah, oh good dude. Congratulations. Thanks buddy. That's great. And you have another day too Well, it's gonna go past the Fox's right, but I'll be also I'll be at the bumper shoot comedy festival in Seattle in September Bump a shoot I don't know really It's a people festivals love soda because he's hilarious, but he's neutral. He doesn't offend anybody here damn right

I know hey my mother and I love her. I know you know I just love that you call her Trish. You do call her Mom. You call her Mom by her first name. I call her Mom to her by her. I call her Trish to everyone else. She gets mad when I call her Trish to her face. Yeah, she should because she's your Mom. Huh? I'll never. Oh, right. Yeah.

Kelly and Tatiana. What's her information? She didn't have anything to give me. She was like, oh, I don't have this. And I'll let Bob know if we want to put something on the actual screen. I'm going to put it on the screen. I'm going to put it on the screen. I'm going to put it on the screen. I give me. She was like, oh, I don't have this and a lot I'll let Bob know if we want to put something on the actual screen. She hasn't got a website. She hasn't got Twitter

She has Twitter. Can we just put a picture of it? I asked her for it and she was like, oh, no, oh, I'm like give me your Twitter She's like, oh, you know what? I'm just I don't know. I just feel like a puppy. Then we won't fucking promote her. She's Tatiana She has the incredible set of cans.iana. She's a pretty girl too. Nice girl, private eye, blah blah blah. Robert Kelly at Robert Kelly, Robert Kelly Live.com. I'm all over the fucking place. I got a lot of work, Joe. I'm always got too much work. I'm all over the place. You know, Wilbur Theater coming up in August, big show, Boston people. Get your fucking tickets now.

Do me a favor, sell it out before I go. Yeah. So don't have to worry about it the week of, we need to sell tickets. You got to do 85 radio shows. It would be my dream to sell up my hometown before I get there. So I don't have to worry. We can just enjoy each other and we can have a good time. And if I do sell out my own show, I'm going to bring it before the it before the show before the week of I'm gonna bring one of you guys with me

I really hope dance busy. I'm really hope things are going well for you. Oh fucking clear my calendar Let me go And I'm gonna be a fox with I'm gonna be fucking I'm gonna be upstate in New York. I got a lot of oh somebody shows Anyways, I'll be counting my money Go to my website robocadolive.com get my award-winning app on iTunes Coming out I mean coming out. It's now. It's gives you all my dates the podcast streams right to the app and the riot cast app coming soon You saw it. You got a fucking heart on my step on my fucking

You got to plug I know the riot cast app. I saw a beta version of it. Man is it fucking badass. If you're a fan of this podcast and and riot cast and all the other shows where you got glory holy else got hammer Herff It has all the apps on the new shows Bailey Bailey J and Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve, the new app that's coming out for iPad and iPhone. And Android. And it's coming out with Android.

Yeah, Android is about a month later. Fucking crazy. So those fags don't cry. So, uh, so check out all that stuff, keep supporting us, make sure you support our sponsors. That's how we,'s how we stand there. And thanks for all the donations. We got a bunch of new donations that came in this month. Oh, great.

Look at your eyes, let up. Orgatee? Oh, it's a point. I don't have to eat chicken jimps. Ha ha ha. Ah, no, anyways. All right, so that's Tech Talk. Rob, thanks for doing Tech Talk.

My pleasure. Tech Talk. We have a party and friends. Oh, yeah. And we're back. Phil, talk, we're the party and friends. Oh yeah. And we're back. Phil, you have to leave. The photographer. You're going to leave.

Thank you Phil. Thank you so much for coming down once again, bro, and taking photos. And it's awesome. You take great photos. Facebook. And you take great videos. Phil, do you have a girlfriend? You do.

Damn. Where is she? It's new. So it's not where you don't have a girlfriend? You do! Damn! Where is she? It's new, so it's not, you don't have a girlfriend. It's not like, dude, first of all, you can get on the mic for a second, Phil. You know, there's no such, are you fucking, are you, you're not 10? You can't have a girlfriend,

are you better at a month ago? Did you ask her out? Will you go out with me? We didn't do that, we didn't. Did you just have her name and a tree in Central Park? It's just, it's kind of assumed, you know, like... How long have you known her? Ah, only like four months.

Yeah, dude. No. So you grow fun. I don't know. It's like four months? So much is a while. It's, she's not shaving. That's like a trimester. She's not shaving. She kind of stopped.

I don't know. So I think it might be official now. She's not shaving. Her legs, her legs. Really? Hey, you guys still having sex? We're having a lot of sex It's in the new phase still look at these faces food

Here's the real question when you fucker are you thinking about her? I Still am I think about you Tatiana I will be thinking about Tatiana when I fuck his girl. I think about you know All right, dude Phil. Thank you so much. I love you guys. I love you too, man All right good luck in your new relationship that seems needed we'll be broken up next Take care. I'll pay in contact. Thank you. Oh, let's clap like it's a real radio Come back real learning you go in $10,000 I can come back real learning you go in $10,000 Very attractive man

So he is, I'm not a fan of the 5 o'clock shadow Oh jeez I would imagine if you had to kiss him But listen But why you imagine? I don't have a jaw line, that's why I don't shave Seriously, very self-conscious But you also make lips too, we know what those are

When you kiss a guy with like- We need hair on your face just to know what your thin mouth is. Yeah. Sorry, Joe. When you kiss a guy with that kind of beatish thing going on, do- You know you're kissing a man. Well, you get pasch rash. So the next day, you get like a red and blah blah blah.

But that's- How do you think we get where you fucking airy boxes? When guys have heads- Fuckin' sick. But no way to make- Do you think he's doing it for himself or doing it to get back at her for her not shaving That's lazy. That's why you love them off you I want it for myself. I think you fucking don't if you want a thing It's never done for another favor my name is not there my fucking titsy Ross and my boxes clean East thing short a lot of leg one. no like, cause I get away with it. Rob does have a fucking bird face, but let me tell you something. Wait, I just want to bring this all back to the first thing.

Make this a russum. Hey, I showed a little top did on the fucking, you know what? What the fuck the name thing is? Yeah, I give the kids something to talk about. Oh, dang, I like that, but scared I love this the way I went. I'll see you at the bar. Yeah. We'll see you about that. I hope see about that. You gotta set me up now. I'll say you I'll be like you were right, Bobby

I know she'll be talking to the tit. Yeah, your husband's sucking. I'm sucking your husband's dick right now I'm gonna make him come just to make sure we got this on video so we can get all the money. There's a case we had like that. It's fucked up. I'll tell you later off the air I don't know fucking I want to get trouble you fucking what kind of people are they That's what he's right Henry that's a great passion

The fuck kind of people are they you fucking get over with the big Boom fuck you can't you fucking you made me pop your eye out Tell me now you fucking twat you fucking There you go Ready to send the way to the place So you walked into the bar and You made me pop your eye out! You fucking- Tell me now you fucking twat, you fucking- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey girlish. Oh, yeah, no idea. That's how I actually threw my back out the first time. As a son of a phone sex, playing with myself. What? Yeah.

Wait, why is it so bright? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Kali, first of all, if you ruin this, I'll kill you. I got one. This is point out to the Tatiana as it added some, like the sexiest shoes of everything. We went down to smoke and come back and you're like,

hey, fucking you might just. I'm touching my pussy and you got like a heel. Holy rock. That's a boom. My life just changed. Listen, Axel Rose. That's a compliment. Yeah, she didn't call you the lead singer of Cinderella. That's a fucking mush. Back to her. Listen, you were masturbating. Yes. On the phone.

Yes. Cell phone? No, no, no. On the regular phone. Yeah, yeah. This is really. This is same, same couple of years ago. So you're a hard-lined.

Yeah, this is, yeah. And I was being cheap. You know where you could tell when 800 big tits. And you could hear the voice for the first like minute and a half. Wait a minute. You were doing it with not a guy, you call one of us. What are you doing? Okay, and that's what I think. My phone's like, yeah.

I'm like, I gotta take this. Hold on guys. Mom, wait a second. Mom. Mom. I will get back to here. I know dad needs a liver. Hang on.

Hey there. You there? Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna let me get in my room. What's up, she knew you called phone sex? I did phone sex I did it all time and you still do it still do it I'm letting my name like Can you please teach me the ways of your world? I have no idea what I'm doing ever. She's kind of grabbed her leg

I just envisioned Kelly's I don't know I just Say I just a Kalees pussy being so bad. It has like a beaver tail that hangs over there I'm a What's flapping she sprays people Bond if you get to close a She's in a pond if you're getting closer. Clash on top. Charlie diving into a pool.

Get a loose bikini. All right, listen, I love you guys. Shoot on me. Farnsicks go. Yeah, true. True deck. All right, so I'm. Show's back in a fucking

peep show chair lounge. $10. So slow. people show chair lounge. I'm laying there. First time I pulled it out. I have a bunch of nudie mags. Stop. What are you wearing? I'm completely naked. Okay.

Wait. Stop. You're naked on your bed. You're naked on your bed. You have a bunch of nudie mags out. Who's in the nudie mags? What kind of nudie mags are you? I have fucked up ones. I am a sick girl. Like clubbing or national?

Like Guy on Guy, Midget porn, Girl on Girl. Like I have a fucked up imagination. So you have a bunch? We open a window. I'm not. I'm going to go through Metapods over here. Oh, you're right. What a fuck fan you got.

Guys, if I start juicing it over the jeans, don't act away. Alright, so you naked on the bed bed you get a bunch of fucking crazy it's a guy on guy porn got it who's on the other end is it a guy or a girl that's a girl because I don't know what about it but if you dial a guy I'm sorry does not sound fucking hot when he's like oh yeah you like that please hang on one second try it again okay you're gonna do a little phone sex right now. Dan's gonna be the guy. Just do one with Dan and one with Kelly and Stuart.

Why is fucking chewbuck in the ring time? I don't know, I thought that was pretty good ring time. No more bear on the butt. We're talking about fine sex and he's like, yeah, chewbuck, I got it done. I'm laying on my bed. I've got the DVD collection of Star Wars yet. I've got the DVD collection of Star Wars. I've got the death of Superman. I'm just fucking breaking the bat.

And I'm like, yeah, pain. Yeah. I just feel so bad. Let's just do this real quick, okay? Okay. Okay, so you, we're gonna go around the room. You're gonna make phone calls to different guys and we're gonna wind up with Kelly. Okay, so the first guy you're gonna call, his name is Big Dick Dan.

Okay. So I'm going to be the fuck operator. No, you're calling. You each so I got him on the drinking. I'm going to ring and then Dan's going to, Ben's going to pick up and talk. Can I be syrup? So I don't call him in. No, you're calling, ready?

Rewing. Rewing. Hello. Hi. Hi. What's up, baby? You want to play? Yeah. Hi. Hey, what's up, babies? You want to play?

Yeah. Yeah. You've been with a black guy. Oh, never. Yeah. Tell me when I miss it. I just got out of jail. Yes.

You ever watched the Ann one tapes? Never. Because I'm going to take that ball and play. I dribble it through my legs real fast. Do you have tattoos done? Yeah. It mates dirty needles. Yeah.

I suggest you use a condom in a fantasy sense. I typically have multiple blood diseases. Tell me more. Okay, this is not even cool. She broke me. Okay, she broke you. okay, we're gonna go to Joe ready now Joe his name is Boston Joe his name's Boston Joe ready Yeah Hi, is Joe there. Yeah, hi Joe

I want to know if you could take a big fucking clock out from your life. I mean, I could take my clock out. I don't know how big it is. It's okay, I have an asshole. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll fucking asshole, yeah. My closest for a big day to my asshole is for little bit.

So take your pick. What's you take a clock out? I mean, I'm not saying it's little either. I'm just saying like, I'll fucking ass. Joe, do you have a dick? Yeah, I gotta, I gotta, I mean, I get decent sized dick. I just want to say it's big. It's fucking. What's you take a clock? I'm not saying it's little either. I'm just saying like I'll fucking. Yeah, so Joe Do you have a dick? Yeah, I gotta I gotta I mean I get decent sized dick. I just want to say it's big. It's fucking what's decent? I don't know kid I Fucking Joe Boston phone sex operators my favorite thing ever. Yeah Hold on fucking the bees are on hold on

Yeah, it's a very Boston thing. I did just did Yeah, fuck you fucking Self fuck you got it. I don't know it's that big, but you know, it's a dick. Whatever Who cares all right come on the best party said no Oh, kid. He's... Oh, you killed me. Call Rob, we're gonna call Rob. I can't get enough of this.

Fuck all my supposed to follow that. I fucked up. Fuck. I can't get enough of it. I didn't even know I was ready. Fuck it, she's spilling up. I've been blown up. All right, here we go.

Ready, we're calling. We're calling a... The bird with AIDS. The bird with AIDS. I rate... Ring. Ring. Hello.

Oh, hi. How are you? You want some AIDS? I read Ring Ring Hello Oh hi How are you? You want some aids? I'm sorry? You want some aids? You want some aids? Oh yeah I put it right in my face

Why maybe you're fooling it? Why English? Do you? You're an English poet, right? I don't like rock. I really sit up to feel though, because I know this is bad. Yeah, that's bad. At a full fucking hell.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you go to? Yeah, that was bad. I had to follow fucking the hell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah tricola. All right. Listen. Now, Kelly, will you suck my, will you suck my fucking clock while I'm watching games?

Seven games. You call with the fucking bees, right? They get a fucking power play. I might fucking come. All right, here. We'll do Kelly. We're going to skip off of me a rob because we, there's no way.

We don't want to fucking. All right, so Kelly, you are. You're calling Aussie Girls Gone Nasty. Aussie Girls Gone Nasty. Well, they call it the Beaver Flaps. All right, here we go. Ring, ring. Hi.

Hi. Hello. So what are you wearing? I'm just wearing my brown panties right now. Really? So what are you gonna do to me? I'm gonna do everything to you and another girl if you have one next to you. I was hoping that maybe you're gonna look me out. Is that what's gonna happen? Look me out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm in my eyes. I know it in my eyes. Did you see it in my eyes? If my dick is peshy, it just walked in the room and it

was a f**k. Yeah. You were welcome. This bitch had licked me out. I just envisioned her licking all the stuff out of her vagina in her pile. You want it else again, it's gone wild. It's an else expression.

It's like we went to the stone show and you start and they have electricity. You want it? Oh, shit. Kelly, I'm so using that. Next time I have wild. I was like, expression. That was like a way to the stone show and you start, and they have electricity. Oh, shit. Kelly, I'm so using that next time I have something. Yeah, it's going to work. I'll be like, look out. In the corner of my eye, I'm going to look at these two douchebags that fucking hands in their pants like, L-buddy.

That was on my hand in my pants. That was right. Listen, here's a big shot. And it was making me feel uncomfortable. Lit me out is grow up. If a girl said, lit me out, I'd be like, I'll lick all of it. Like, I want to lick what up. What's in there?

What am I gonna do? I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do.

I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do.

I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do. I don't know in the moment. I think I got a peanut up. I can't do it. I can't say to a little girl. I lost the yellow crayon. I don't know. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I want you to do Kelly, alright? I want you to. I want you to feel it. Like they are the only two people on an island. Alright, you in the corner.

I want you to touch your... I want you to wave my hair around. No, don't do that. Kelly, I want you to really try and don't try... Don't use any Australian terms. Kill, lick me out, I got my fucking digger I'm really I'm gonna concentrate on my mouth break my my wish bow

Look my people you want to say my snatch Oh, you want to see my Just wax my means come on Oh, that just waxed my means come on There's a great self-park You wanna lick me Also, how could you not say something about down under? I mean, I don't know how to miss that. That's a big Army down under all right here. We go. Okay we go okay say in the future maybe use down under I'm gonna be throw up lick me out. I just pictured her licking out like cottage cheese and spit it going

Touch you might be the most attractive woman I've ever met in my life I mean this literally the mix of the voice and this is the best part right now is that tatsy on I agreed to do the last five minutes topless So what are you serious? Yeah, so I we go. Wait, is that a real thing? Yeah, it's a real thing me and Tom down working out So we're gonna do last five minutes. Oh, whoa, whoa, you're fucking mouth right now. We can you can walk away if you want You don't have to do your voice I go Last the last the last of the topless as well. I mean I have to ruin it I go like this.

You guys never seen tits before. Like, you know, Oak would you make someone about the picque? Hell, it's like shut the fuck up. It's like the zoo. OK, I can go and fucking look at pictures of animals all day, but when I'm fucking five feet away from them, it's a special occasion.

I've never seen Dan not be neutral. I know. You're all fucked up. That's why he went into character though, if you notice. It wasn't Dan being a... Because I do, I do this character. I do this deep dumb voice that sounded rapy. We're like, our worst suit.

Word. Word. We're a secret person. Don't you hurt Mark? You really, you really all fucked up right now. What happened? You really are fucked up about Tiantiana's top tit. Her top tit fucked you up.

Yeah, she threw me off. Yeah, she threw you know, you're really, that you really just snapped on Kelly. If Kelly was gonna cock block Tiantiana being top of the last five minutes, you really just got fucking like, I would a honky tongue man, and fucking slam that gun down and fucking,

but. Well, I'm a good friend. I love Russ. I'm a good friend. I would never cook blocka danna for paratiti. I feel like Greg the hammer Valentine of comedy. Not going again. Didn't he do something?

No, he never really did anything. He said, yeah. What's the need no holds part of the gun? Rob, you're under the shot. No. No. It's another shot. I'm not going to fuck this up.

They were going to do it again. OK. All right, so Kelly, do. I'm not gonna fuck this up. They were gonna do it again. Okay. Alright, so Kelly, this is what we can do. We can either talk or we can go over your set, the actual set stuff, some Conan, or we can do some more phone search. Oh, we'll do some fine six. Really?

Is that what you want? What do you want, Kelly? I don't know, I was having to maybe talk on the phone and get more right now we're back Well Kelly Kelly I want to ask you a question. This is like what Erkel turned into Stefan. You're interrupting Dan. You're interrupting You're interrupting Dan. Sorry. Let's turn all the mics up Kelly I just want to ask you if you want to talk some more songs with Tati Aala or would you like to work over your set the critiques?

I was I was really hoping maybe to talk to Tati Aala more. You want to talk to the list space is the best the double cross. Alright, so we're going to do a little rainy rim. Okay, I'll try my best. I'll let you lead. You're calling me? Oh, hello. Hello. Oh, hi. I'm so glad you answered. How are you baby? Oh, wow. It's been a really long day and I need to relieve some stress. My kind of stress already, you like to relieve. I want to start with your top half or your bottom half. Top half please.

Mmm, what are you wearing? Nothing. Well, I'm just wearing like a little bra, but I really need someone to take it off for me. Go ahead, how about you take those hands yours and reach back and snap that for me and pull it down slowly. Mmm. Mmm. I'm going to do it like this.

This is a big part of it. snap that for me and pull it down slowly. Yeah. You can't just snap it down. This is a big part of it. I have ages this way. Why are you laughing? Because you have a very good at it. You know what you're doing. You know what you're doing? And snap it baby.

And snap it right for me right now. Click. And I go ahead and you went and cute little panes to match that bra. I already took them off. Is that bad? Oh, that's so nice. right now. Click. Mmm. Now go ahead and you went and cute little panties to match that bra. I already took them off. Is that bad?

Oh, that's so nice. Now go ahead and slip your hand right, but it's when you're thigh. Don't touch anything yet. Just grab a hold of your inner thigh. Mm-hmm. But what about me? What do I do for you? Well right now I just want to go ahead and leave your hands on and then I'm going to tell

you where I want yours on you. I'll take you and left hand and put it right of your teddy right now. I'm like I'm all the way down to the nipple. You know I can lick my own titties. Oh can you? Oh I love jigsacadabas. Let me take mine off. I'm sitting on my chair and I want absolutely nothing right now. Just a cute little black jeez Go ahead and take your titties right now Start looking away Mmm Mmm

I can't imagine that He peaches here But Joe, we're supposed to kill you in F3 Claim- Claim lappers doesn't have the guy in something. Someone's at the door. Let me go get the door. Don't want it in that movie so bad.

Joe literally just fucking- Maybe I chickened. I'm gonna eat. Is there any of your passport? That's crazy. I fucking- I had a messy wink this morning and I went to do one wink. You got a what? I had a wink. Yeah.

Yeah, fuck. I should really have. Yeah. Yeah. I'll make sure something comes. Can I just say I will keep her on retainer for phones. I will keep Tati on on retainer for phone sex like a fucking high price lawyer. Yeah. Oh, you're in. I know her money. Yes.

The chicken flavoured chips. The chicken flavoured twisties are the best. I'll take you. Are they all cool? I'll take you. Hang on one second. I'll tell you what, let me just explain something. They're the best. They're like Cheetos but they're the best. I'll take you. You're a logger? I'll take hang on one second. You know what? I'll tell you why. Let me just explain something. I'm cheap. They're the best. They're like Cheetos but they're cheap. Cheetos except they were fucking a cup of ramen noodle fell on them. They're late in the sun for a month. Let me taste them. They even look disgusting. They have no color.

What's so ever to them. I hate more than those are shirts. Let's get them off. That would got really real guys Hot Would you ever hook up with a chick? I know I've always thought about it. I've never done it before really It's actually remember the woman never would you ever do it? You know what I have on my head like I said is all fucked up But what I have on my head about 99% of the time I am but I'm with a guy like My current boyfriend or somebody like that if I'm dating somebody. Yeah, so it's always like that

But in real life, no fucking ruin the whole show. I know. I know. Did you have to say we don't need to know that just tell us It's not really that serious What's that? Your boyfriend? No, I don't have one. I said if I did, hey, off myself obviously too much. And the... Yeah, two or a half of it. Is there a tool involved? Can we just focus everything on that? But how did the actual...

You have so little. I have so little. I love the truth. Because my back is screwed up already, and I'm laying on my bed. What are you jerking off on a sea song? No. If you remember that, my son.

I'm a jerk of nine times a day for 20 years. I've never heard my back. Yeah. I have jerk trying to talk about it. I've never heard my back. I have jerked up the most awkward positions. One me on a couch, one me on a coffee table. You put your fucking pussy in the sink. Yeah, you're like, no, I didn't. I lived in Piano.

And then I told her the legs. I put one of the legs in the piano. Yep, that's his accent. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Ruh. Tatiana, were you married me? I don't have a girlfriend, but she's in a different burrow.

Oh, that's a hi-hat. I don't have a rap song that counts, right? Oh, God. I'm Rob. Yes. So when does the last five minutes have gone? And you wanted me to go again. That would have been a disaster.

No, dude, I fucking messed that up. I wanted you to go again. That would have been a disaster. No, I would do it. I can't mess that up. Okay, let's walk it together. I run the show. I know when it's funny, it's funny, and when not to fuck, yep, nice talking. Leave it alone. I'm kidding. You the opposite.

I am. Yeah, the last five minutes. We are very close to the last five minutes. We're almost there. Last five minutes to the show. And this isn't a thing. I was absolutely thrilled. This is like my mom mom said my dad was coming to my tea ball I swear

Dad was dead. He was not for another enough or another right here. So I should bring that up Bob look at fat Kelly look at fat Kelly He looked at her So honey got a Just make a wild boar That was even a pig. Kelly, stop. That's how you drive the other podcast. Kelly, you gave me a half-trub today. Hey, Kelly, you gave me a half-trub.

I was mentioning your bra, have a bunch of ruse on them, but you're popping her up. The last five minutes, she's gonna be top of us, but here's the rules. I'm serious, we talked about it, but we all have to shut our eyes. And whoever opens their eyes, she's going to put a shirt back on. Okay, I think it's worth it just to look for.

So five minutes we're all going to shut our eyes. Squeeze them tight. She's going to take a shirt off. Whoever opens their eyes first, she puts a shirt back on and that person is a fucking dick for ruin in it. What are they ruining? No one's even saying anything. opens their eyes first she puts a shirt back on and that person is a fucking dick for ruining it. What are they ruining? No one's even saying anything. Huh? They're not ruining anything of no one's else in this fucking pool. We supposed to just smell them. They're ruining it for everybody else because... Awful rules.

Yeah. Well, we just call it three Mississippi's in our Albert eyes at the same time. Not you fucking rapist. I think that's actually a man with a point. That was a great thing, right? Yeah, that was a little bit of a leap. All right, are you ready? You ready to go?

All right, everybody, one, two, three, close your eyes. Close, squint them, squint them, squint them. I'm looking, wait a second, ready? Squint, oh, twink your eyes, shut your eyes. I feel like I'm gonna be the dick who's not. You're looking the whole time. I'm gonna just look at her, you know. Let's go, everybody.

All right, take it off, here we go. Take it off all the way, all the way, all the way. How do you know they're all the way Bobby? I thought we were supposed to judge motherfucker. Oh I feel like I'm gonna open my eyes everyone's gonna have their Joy come on you two feet away from good to eat just open your eyes I don't trust it hold on I'm gonna put my hand out close your eyes everybody close your eyes All right, here we go put my hand out just in case you want to got it all right, wait wait wait wait When you hand out for what?

We're doing this week's podcast from a tree fort Hang on hang on whoever can keep their eyes shut all right, all right, go ahead take them on I don't believe I don't even actually Don't believe all I open your eyes now Oh, geez there. I don't know. That was a half. It was kind of half-tit, but it was there. I didn't even get a half-tit I didn't look that was Canadian taste. I know that was that tough. Hang on I'll take it. I'm doing it. Hey! Whoa! Oh!

Yeah. I'm with you I'm stuck in the block I'm stuck in the block You know what I'm getting I'm just from the sun I'm just from the sun You know what I'm getting Really dude, really, really, really You know what I'm getting Don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face! ¡Don't stop! ¡Fiuming my face! ¡Don't stop!

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