Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Turtle Feet

Episode Date: January 15, 2018

Bobby’s joined by Jim Norton, Bonnie McFarlane, and Liz Furiati as we clear the air, settle rumors and try to find out why Bonnie doesn’t have a TV show!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic? No, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep her like a comic head. I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down. He happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down Sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's ten no topics no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin

Do you think my podcast is popular? I might affect some of these lives. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Oh, no. All right, what a fuck. We're back. It's very interesting. Everybody's, you know, we could have waited five more minutes but I'm like, fuck it, let's just go. I wanna just go, I wanna go.

I forgot the piss. Look at old man, now I have to hold it. For a long time. Anyways, we got a great show for you today. This weekend, I wanna thank everybody that came out to the, I was in Jersey everybody that came out to the I was in Jersey I was in southern I was in Pennsylvania on Friday and then Jersey on Saturday at this beautiful theater I pulled into this you know Jersey is such a shit place to live

But they have these little towns that are I Mean just magical. It's like As soon as I get off the exit and I'm coming down this street, it's like where Santa lives. It's just all these beautiful, warmly lit homes and front porches and, oh my God, people with their bikes on their, on their porch. Where were you? What was I? Where was I, Mike? Do you know where I was? You were in Newtown, Pennsylvania on Saturday and you're in Jersey on Friday Oh, it was Pennsylvania. All right, so it's not Jersey so Jersey still

Jersey on Friday Friday was great great show sold the fuck out over at was it James's Well comedy was a club again. I forget the name Kind of a weird special event, like private event thing. No, wasn't a private event. What's the guy's name? It's right on my thing. I don't know. Yeah, pull it up. We have a, you know, five computers in front of us. Guffa Bids. Somebody touches a keyboard in this fucking place. Liz, where am I? Boom, I'll call calling up. He knows right. Yeah.

Literally. Colin does that. I swear to God. He knows my. It's so scary. People don't know this about Colin Quinn. He has an addiction to my schedule. So he does it to freak you out. If I call him at any time, even on the phone, he'd be like, guys, so this week you're in, you're over in Sarasota Falls. 100% and I don't even know where I am. We've had conversations.

I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna see Bobby. He's like, well, Bobby's going to, did it, did it, and we'll list six weeks of the date. He doesn't go on the Bobby. He's like, well, Bobby's going to did it and will list six weeks. And he doesn't go on the website. He doesn't have his phone in front of him. He memorized. He memorized is my schedule. It's fucking scary. It's critical because he did it for a couple months. It's been four years. Now it's sickness. It's a fucking sickness. I love it. Anyways, so where was it?

I just stalled so much for you. Arlington, New Jersey. It was the courtyard, the courtyard, your courtyard for that one. What's the name of the company though? Oh, I was trying to see on the paper. It was like a company party. Yeah, James is fucking suck my cock feathers. James, James De Benedetto.

Yeah, sorry. James De Benedetto has what a company. Yeah, he has a company I'm gonna fucking find it right now. What does he do? Comedy shop. That's what it's called the comedy shop. Thanks. I got it two seconds. How long you take me? I'm fucking two seconds comedy shop. Good job fingers I added my Calde That's why I got it somewhere. It took me a while to share the calendar.

I'm a fucking asshole. I am the two seconds, gush. Um, James Benadette. Yeah. On Friday night in Sane crowd, Saturday night fucking crazy. What's funny too, the power of the tonight show is crazy. That's right. Cause there's people that are coming out that are from the tonight show is crazy. It's right.

Cause there's people that are coming out that are from the tonight show. And I'm like, I gotta kinda, you know, look, the set I did on the tonight show, you know. It's gonna be a little different. I locked out a lot of fucking. Yeah, you did. You know, the part where I kick a kid in a pool.

It's gonna be a little different, yep. But they were fucking great. For a Saturday it was great. I sat in it was great. I brought Ian fucking for dance. He was more for easy. My beanie. Mike Fini. Yeah, Mike Fini, this cock sucker.

It's my hate. I hate the younger generation of comics. Why? Because you have no respect. All right. All right, and I'm dealing with it. Fair enough. I'm in therapy. I'm dealing with it. I'm in therapy, I'm dealing with it.

I get it, I get it. I shouldn't expect respect from the people that don't give respect, from this fucking shit generation. Cause they don't get it. They think, I didn't think it was a comic. You know what I called myself a comedian? When? Probably six years in when I moved to New York City

and I had no other job. And I was doing and I was making a fucking mediocre living. That's when I finally was like, okay, I'm a comment. And then I was still like, you know, if he, right. And if anybody ever took me on the road, I kept my mouth shut and tried to learn something. I fucking was like, you know, whatever. This clock suck of Mike Fien, he goes up. First of all, I was like, you know, whatever. This clock sucka Mike Fieny goes up. First of all, I was like, you know, he goes up and Mike kills. I really, Mike just kills. And he does this thing. He was doing crowd work at the front,

which I was a little annoyed at. I told Fieny, I go, finance, I go, dude, if you don't, if you do your jokes, if they don't work, quit. That's what you, if your jokes don't work, get out of the business. So anyway, she switched it up. You started killing with these jokes because Fini kills. He just distress.

Then he ends his sat. I'm like, oh, this is great, right? He fucking got him right into it. The whole fucking theater was, and then he goes, all right, guys, thank you so much. I'm Mike Fini. All right. We got a couple, we got a couple of the guys on the show tonight. He's engaged to you.

This cock suck is him. He's him gauged you. This cock suck. He Tim Gage you people don't know what Tim Gages that's Colin Quinn's older cousin. A whole different horrible if you can believe it. Who got the I heard got the boot. I know I feel I feel a little guilty, but I don't, but then I feel guilty and then I he opens for him at the PC cat and I read wet Monday and Tuesday Wednesday and Tuesday Wednesday And he got the high hot one for 2018. You give me the fucking high hat. You give me the high hat

Shut up stop crying. Oh, what are you crying for? Yeah, he this The two other comics fuck that even though you exist you can't Yeah, Tim Gage do I told him I go if nobody if your car I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem.

I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. I'm getting a little bit of a problem. And everybody would go woo that was better 100% yeah, well guys you got a couple I go this isn't a fucking Tuesday and Brooklyn you fucking coward Coward What do you say did you make this is a sad ain't I show it a dinner so about and your headlining

So about and you are the headliner so about was it sold out so loud the headliner. Sold out! Was it sold out? Sold out! Theater! This motherfucker says, hey alright guys thanks so much that's my time. A couple other guys on the show, let's give it up for this next guy. There's nobody else on the fucking show. You shouldn't be on the show. You can come and bob, you got some dates, can we come with you? Hey, Bobby? Hey, hey, I was just wondering about those dates I know I've called you seven times about the dates. Can we have more dates? I'd love to go if you have any room on the dates and so much appreciate you mother fucker Couple you just shut up. Don't ask me questions.

What time should we look on this schedule? What? Did you drive everyone there? No, I fucking drove myself. They were like, we're gonna leave Ian goes like this. Friday. We're gonna leave right after the podcast to get there early. I go cool, see you later.

I'm going home. I'm gonna nap. I'm gonna have some stew. Yeah. And then I'm gonna shower. I'm gonna leave an hour before the gig. Yeah, but you might never make it. I've been doing this. You 25 fucking years.

I've been driving to Jersey. I'm not making. I'm not panicking. I'm not leaving you fucking 245 for an 830 gig. You can't. I mean, I guess it's sweet that they care enough to be like, we're leaving right now. And then they just did their,

they're twittled their thumbs for four hours. Well, they went to the cracker barrel. Oh, it's all about who, I love a cracker barrel. I do too. The shop in the front. Shop in the front is what you got. I know. The food is mediocre.

The rocking chairs. Dude, a fucking, I mean, just to get a fucking fucking one of those little planes with a propeller with the elastic and entorral it. I thought that was always giant checkers. Giant checkers. Not a fan of giant checkers around that regular checkers because I like checkers. Yeah, so anyways, they went. I felt bad too, because I had a hotel tower. I could have just said, Hey, I go jump. They could just went to the hotel and children watch TV, I fucking I checked in it fucking quarter past eight I went in for 15 minutes and came back down and left after the show Fucking cock soccer. Oh God. That was a rusty. Oh God Creek salad. Oh my asshole doesn't have the elasticity it used to have I'm fucking I'm fighting like a fucking old dog barking. Ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh,

real man's here. Can I do kegels for your asshole? Yeah, I'm doing them right now. Nice. Fucking closing like a dolphin hole right now. We got a great show for you too. I don't know if we're gonna have a show today. I, what you should, don't shake your fucking head, you book it.

She went, I don't know. They're coming. How do you know? Cause I'm talking to them right in this moment. Okay, well, we have two superstars in the business. Oh yeah. Hopefully. I mean, hopefully.

We have two guys showing up. Or else we're just gonna be yelling at each other, real soon. We have two people that had a lot of potential. Mm-hmm. No, we got, I'm yelling at each other real soon. We have two people that had a lot of potential. Mm-hmm. No. We got, I'm so excited to have him on. I haven't had him on for so long.

Jim Norton. That's awesome. He has been on his soul. I think the last time he was on, he was on on the other table. Oh shit. Oh, thea. That's like what? Over three years ago, right?

Over three years ago. Right. Oh, right. Is it? Is it? Right. Right. Is it? Is it? Oh my God. Is it? Uh, deal with that.

What did you eat this morning? Greek salad, two skewers of chicken. Uh, see some old nuts. I've seen it. I might, anyways. So we get, we get, I was a, you avoided that. Yeah, we have, I'm gonna take my dick out. I have to fluff it, I have to pee. We're gonna have, we have a,

Bonny McFarlane, the good part of the power couple. Yeah, definitely. The funny part at least. Definitely. I could not, I don't understand why there's not a show. I don't under fucking stand. Why a comedy, some type of net pop TV, whoever the fuck it is, true TV has not done a show

with the Vosses. Oh my God. The fact that dad hasn't happened is ludicrous to me. I know you're going after a young demo, but the young demo would love that show. I don't care who you are. He's got two hot daughters. He's got a young daughter.

You got the wife who's still hot. You got you who's just falling to pieces. We're digging eight rings on last night. Yeah. I don't want to get it. We're gonna talk through about it Maybe I think we're gonna have an intervention today's an intervention for body jewelry intervention We have no fucking marriage. We got to get her out Of course we have Gabby the gabs Spraynda Ranco on the way here, because she's long legged, she walks like Big Bird.

That's honestly true. That is true. She really is. She looks good in clothes naked, she looks like a muppet. Mm-hmm. I don't even know what that means. I've never seen a naked. That's weird.

No will I ever, because I don't like white chicks, that white. Chicks like a light. Shing. Oh, white. Yeah,icks like a light. Sing. Oh, white chicks. Yeah, you're looking angel. Anyways, can't have sex in the beach with this girl. I got a son.

I'm getting a chance to buy the end of the film. I am dead. Anyway, sorry, I shouldn't do that. We have Mikey, Mushi Mike's back, as Mushi has ever. Oh God, him at the party last night, I've never seen somebody with the lack of social skills as Mike.

Mike, I started for like two seconds. He stands there like he just killed a waitress in the back, and it's just panicking. Cold sweat dripping down his brow. Cold sweat trying to eat a cupcake. Yeah. What's up Mike, nothing. You didn't have a good time at the party?

At a great time. It's just shy. How'd you like the gift I got you? It was good. You love it? That someone took it, I think, because it wasn't there when I went back to take it home. Nope.

Nope. That's not what happened. Nope. Where was it? Right where you left it. Right where you left it, you fat fucking cuck-suck it? Right where you left it right where you left it you fat fucking cock sucker Right where you left it? Okay You left it and you walked I gave him a fucking guess. I know it was a Bluetooth beanie that I need a beanie, huh? I need a beanie. Yeah

Yeah, you left that one you could talk on your phone on it and you can you can listen to music on it and have your head your fucking San Antonio mushy Mexican head would have been fucking warm and music and everything and I gave it to you. And I think you're taking that waitress. Yeah. It's gone. I gave it away. It's true.

She gave it to me. Yep. I collected it at 4 a.m. when I cleaned. You regifted it. It was and it was regifted too sweet. And I gave it to a person who's grateful and loved it. He did. He was excited about it and took it out of the box right away. Immediately. Two. Huh? Who'd you give it to? Myrte downstairs. Oh, manager. Manager. So, there you go. There you go. Good for you, Mike.

How do you feel? Cold. Are you sure? Why are you sweating? Probably diabetes. I can take the word probably out of that. Speaking of diabetes, Oscar on the couch. Thanks for that.

Hey, wait a second, though. Why'd you sit over here instead of over here? I got a lot of things the couch. I don't Way again though you why'd you sit over here instead of over? Okay, good All right, no, sorry, I'll ask you see here. Um, we have from the geeks in New York, right? What is it called? No, that means it's done. That means he's sick of fucking deput too. Ha ha ha ha. Deput, deput got mad.

We're not making enough money. I need it to be transparent. Her. Um, who's this? There he is. Hi, Jay. Right, you're right here, buddy. I'm at center stage.

Yeah, I mean, no, and Jimmy, no, and Jimmy, no, and Jimmy, no, and Jimmy, no, and Jimmy, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, It scares me. I was 12 year old and the knees start to come out. I get nervous with Zach and his fucking fingers that, what's wrong with your hands? It's not getting better. It's getting better just slowly. You popped a stitch last night. Yeah, that's why I couldn't make the party because one of my stitches popped out and happened.

He was mulled by an animal. Yeah. Go like this, let me see. What the fuck? You have your finger, dude. Almost, almost. Yeah. It sucks. It's open, so. Like this, let me see Shit, you have your finger dude. Almost almost It's open so let's just right you lost your finger You gotta go to the hospital let me see you have to go back to the hospital. It'll be alright. No, no No, no, no, you have to go to energy camp. Well, this is looking at it right now. Put it on camera. Why are we doing this off camera? Yeah, I sure sure

Please show the camera show the camera off camera. Yeah, I should show the camera. Show the camera. Show the camera. It's fucking it's amazing. All right, show the camera. Oh man, I'm gonna try to get the buzz. What happened? Oh, right there. Yeah, right there. What happened? So so they could see the front. What the fuck happened to you? My dad got into a little scrap and I was suffering them and I was struggling. He was giant, you fool. Show Norton, show Norton. You're fucking finger. Yeah, show Norton.

We were just showing off my cut. Oh, my dog's on his scrap. When was that? God. Last week, and then I got home and I made the promo poster for the next show. I like the red carton, what's good? Oh, thanks.

No, it's been there for a while. There's a blue in a red. There's a blue in a red. You could swap it out. There's this guy fucking chip. Yeah, yeah, yeah's good. Oh, thanks. Is that new? No, it's been there for a while. It's just, there's a blue in a red. There's a blue in a red. You could swap it out. There's this guy fucking chip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a real sensation, I understand. Oh, fuck it up. Fucking hunk of asshole. I hate it for two reasons.

Because I love chips. Chocka chips. I love chips. Everything chip I love, and he had a fucking tagit, the name chip. And every time I hear, chocka chip cookies, I think of him. Did I ever play a message Colin left for me

a long time ago? No. Let me see if I still have it. I'll leave it to you. All right, while you're looking for that, I'm just gonna say blue apron is a leading meal kit delivery service in the US. And while many people know what to do,

many don't know how to type the types of meals you eat when you cook with blue apron. You're not just having burgers for dinner. You're making short rib burgers with hoppy cheddar sauce. Ooh, I love that. Actually had that one. It's amazing. On a pretzel bottom, you're preparing seared steaks, fine-pened sauce with mashed potatoes, green beans, and crispy shallots, all in under 45 minutes, and without a trip to the grocery store. Oh my gosh for eight weeks here hang on one second I

Actually used blue apron. It's good for me But this is a great part about it is because my kid don't does it with max and it's so proportioned out all the Ingredients it's easy for her to teach him how to cook and follow directions with it so they sit right at the counter with this little stool I built max. And they they make all this food. So if you have a family, it's great. If you don't, it's good for lonely people too. I don't have a family.

Like I cook play from with him alone. It's good for you too though, because here's the deal. You, when you cook alone, you might not know how much to use, how much ingredients, how what to get, it has everything in the box for you, Jim. Open the box, step by step instructions. All the ingredients, it tells you exactly what to do. I'm the 45 minute.

I'm not a good measure. Yeah, it measures it for you. I measure, I always make mistakes, but I measure. Let me tell you this. For eight weeks, ending the February 22nd, blue apron is teaming with whole 30 to bring you delicious recipes. Our menu will feature two whole 30 approved recipes each week like seared steak and warm lemon salsa

verde with roasted broccoli and sweet potatoes and chicken and kale are in salad with spicy tahini dressing. Kids kicked out your new year with blue apron on whole 30. It's amazing. Whole 30's how I lost all my words. Is it really? Yeah, it's a hard diet to stay on because they're very like, it's very strict, but it's

a really good diet if you can stay on it. Is it coffee? Yeah, we got coffee. What was you like? Just black. Black. And you asked me before, Gabby, I apologize. That's really coffee. Yeah, we got coffee. What was you like? Just black. Black. And you asked me before, Gabby, I apologize. That's all right. No, Michael, go get it right now.

I don't know you, Mike, do I? No, we've let people. Hi, Mike. That's Moshi Mike. How long, Mike? Why don't you call me that? Look at him. No, I was kidding.

Just black. Just black, please, Mike. Thank you. Oh, now. Take. Take. I got money. No, I got it.

That was my face reach for the wall of it. I got money. My hand didn't move There's also the olive tree right downstairs Blue apron is treating you know what dude listen is to 30 dollars off you can do this 30 dollars off your first order You just visit blue apron dot com slash dude. So check out this week's menu and get you 30 dollars off free shipping at blue apron dot com this week's menu and get you 30 dollars off free shipping at blue apron dot com slash dude that's blue apron dot com slash dude. It's a it's a better way to cook and here's I actually the whole 30 thing you were talking about. That doesn't look that bad Jimmy. Really? Yeah. Good. The approved seared steak with the warm lemon salsa verde. That looks great. Look at those meals. Look at that. That's great. What is the whole 30, what are you, I'm a zon-

Well, it's a whole 30, good, Jimmy, what was it again? Whole 30 is, I read it on a line, I never joined it, but I just kind of followed the principles of it. It's almost like caveman, but it's like, things from the earth are okay, but no salt, nothing processed. Sugar, no processed. Why no salt? Because salt has sugar in it. Table salt has sugar in salt, no sugar, no process. Why no salt?

Because salt has sugar in it. Table salt has sugar in it. Salt has sugar in it. It has a teeny bit of sugar. I'm getting so sick of life. Can't do salt. No, because it's like, dude, just eat all meat. Don't eat all meat.

Have salt, don't have salt. Whole 30 is really good. It's actually a good diet. You can stick with it. They allow you to eat potatoes because they are natural even in their carbs you know but whatever it was good I lost weight as I'm sorry I'm distracted I'm getting a text from doctor Steve and he said to me uh do you realize we've been talking now for over 14 years he said you and I first met on

a well instant messenger in 2004 like or 2005 I guess they we just started that XM, we bumped into each other in AOL, and I asked him, I asked him, I don't want to lump in my scrotum. Whatever it is, I don't know, I just worked out, I'm okay. I want to lump in your scrubs, yeah. Nobody's ball. Just yes. Yeah, it's all. Yeah, it's full with the, this gets fluid.

If you fly down here, I can slice it open and tell you what's in shine. Yeah, if your scrotus bother You'll give it give it the old chin test So have you have you have you ever sent them a picture you dick. Oh boy. Have I But no the lump the lump is on your ball. You have these things coming up instead of a picture of it No, cuz it's inside. It's like you have a thing on your balls And it felt like a lump but each side it's like what with the vein attaches to. I just noticed it like in 2004, I was like, oh no. There's a lot of stuff all my dick.

But I don't know, we've been talking that long. Let me tell you something, I said this before you showed up. I, we switched around the whole bedroom today and we put a couch in our bedroom, which is kind of cool. But we have this big mirror that's now, I can walk up to and and I took a shower, and I walked up to the mirror, and I looked at my dick for the first time,

at a boy. In years, like three years, did I just take a nice fucking, just, and my dick was half a little full, but I have so much fat around my cock. No. Yeah. Is this still the blue apron on?

Yes. How's it going? Muzhi Mike, he can't hear him. I'm glad we put you on a regular mic. Yeah. It was, but I was, you know, I pushed some of it back and stretched my balls, Mac. I had dawn, Ty a rubber band around my nuts

and then walking to the other room. But, and I got a nice piece. You've seen my piece. It's been a long time though, since I've seen it. I was telling someone recently about the story about when you were in my apartment getting blown. Yeah, with your foot on the wall and you're having your ass eaten. Yeah, and the girl went like And she spent a piece of toilet paper

It's true Bob had on white socks. This is where I lived on 40th-3rd Street. No, no, no, no I was in 43th with that was before when you lived in Jersey. Oh, you were in my place in Jersey my fucking Little flirty. Oh my god, that apartment was even worse. Yeah, because the hard part was getting that girl out to the apartment. She didn't want to come because I was in fucking Jersey. Always about six miles north in, uh, I was between Cliffside Park and, um, right. You're the reason I moved into this city. You got me in. But you like your fucking foot up on that piece of shit.

Uh, oh my god. And she fucking, she goes, I just saw it, Norton, he was in the other room with his computer typing. And he just went, typing. Yeah, you are on your computer. You with my right hand, I was typing fast, trucking him off, watching. And when I was first in there, my first move into that place, I Jim Florent, he was dating this girl.

She was a dancer, he had just started dating her I Jim Florent, he was dating this girl. She was a dancer, he had just started dating her. When I moved in, he was dating a schoolteacher, and then he started dating this girl who became his long-term girlfriend. And she was blowing him behind, the office that he created special ed in, really. Yay!

That office, he was getting blown. And I was behind my bedroom door, jacking off. And the fucking girl heard the creak. And she said what are you doing in gym to ask my roommate Jim? Yeah, good enough it was used to see the kind of action person. Oh my god I was talking last night. We were to the comedy cellapart. You didn't go hug me because it's a week night the week night I was late. Yeah, I was late. That's not even that late, but for you, I mean, I know you know, I'm an old lady now, like, we used to get, I used to get five to start at six, and now I get up at seven to start at eight, and I'm still just like, I fucking, I want to go home and be home and

decent. Well, I went, I was the first one there. Yeah, yeah. And then, how was it? It was a great time, but here's the thing is that we're all fucking old, because I looked up and Lenny was walking out, Voss is done, we're time. Keith was walking out slowly.

No, keep hung out, keep it sterley, yeah. Oh, he said he's leaving that car. Oh, man, Keith, yeah, he got the contact high and he was there for a while. What time was the end? What time did it end? We turned the lights up at 4 a.m. Oh!

I left around six, yeah. Oh, okay, well you worked there, yeah. But it was finally, everyone went? Yeah, that was a.m. I loved around six. Yeah, well you worked there. Yeah, but it was fine. Everyone went. Yeah, that was a good time. Everyone was dancing. I actually, it was loose. Sharad gets a microphone in the fun and it was. Yeah, then it was whiskey. I'm out. We had a nice loose.

Yeah, it got a little gross. People threw up. I think only one person. Anybody fucking around? I don't think there was any not this year. No sex. Last year there was sex. Last year years before. Was there food there? So much food. Was it good? Papa is fried chicken. But he best chicken in the fuck. Me balls me loaf. Pacta's eggplant farm. Roll a teeny. Oh, good. I'll deserveons of food. Tons of fucking desserts. I'm glad I didn't go out and eat like a pain. It was.

Oh, no. I was sitting there. I told Keith I go, Jesus, back in the day, I'd be getting blown by a chick with purple hair right now. Yeah. Now it's just I'm like, all right, I got to go. I'm tired. Yeah, I got to go.

A couple of years ago, there was someone getting a nice blowjob in the emergency exit. Well downstairs, those bathroom. Yeah. If you go. If you go. If you Yeah. If you go in every bathroom in the men's room, it's own bathroom has a door. So it's perfect to fuck around with. And it would just get a chicken.

Just shut that door and there you go. I've only fucked one time in the Comedy Cellar. Electric room? No, I didn't even know that it existed for a long time. No, it's in the ladies room. Really? Many, many years ago, it's dropped from Texas. And she would be doing something whatever and I fucked her in the ladies room.

And I've talked about it on the air before, just like, hey, this girl, she emailed me recently. Really? I was the girl you were talking about. I was there, I wanted to happen. It was fun. She had a good time, it was like a while thing she did in New York. She literally just emailed me.

I actually had that happen recently too. I had a girl Facebook me. This girl I met at a comedy club and I had a motorcycle. Ooh. So, I had a Honda 500 and I dressed it up to look like a Harley. Put like saddlebags on it and tassels and croned it all out. I remember I was on a highway driving a fucking pack of Harley

Guys came up and around me because they thought I was one of them and they just looked at me and They just took off. They asked you to join the gang. No, they were really fucking disgusted when they sell Honda on the side of my fucking day But I remember this guy she's So pretty but her ass It was a heart-shaped ass. And her asshole had no wrinkles. Do you mean in like a Valentine's heart or bleeding with veins coming out? Valentine's heart. It was pulsing.

I do like that. Um, so I'm, I, this girl, this girl, she goes like this, she goes, all right, well, meet you at your house. Uh, I go, I have a Patriots game to go there in the afternoon. I'll be home by eight o'clock. So I have to pass game. It's fucking freezing. My uncles are there.

They have to take it. I got a go. They know I have to go. So now they make me wait longer. And they're like, all right, after this beer, finish your diet, I was drinking a diet coke. I guzzled the diet coke. I go, I'm done. And I go, let's go.

We're in the, I get the hiccups, but I get the worst. It hurts. It hurts. They're so bad because I guzzled this fucking diet coke because of my dumb uncles. The whole way home. It hurts.

I get home, she's out front in her car waiting for me. She gets out. How late were you? Dude, I was probably an hour late. Oh my gosh, she's still waiting. She's still waiting. I get upstairs. We're walking upstairs.

She's like, you all right? I'm like, I'm good. Right. I'm like, I go into the room. I start fucking drinking water. I'm doing everything you could possibly do. We get in the room. We're kissing.

We start. She gets naked. She's on all fours. She arches her back, her butt becomes a heart. I look in her asshole. There's not one wrinkle. It's all the same color skin. I'm like, oh my god. She's like, do you want to do something? I'm like, no, I'm good. It's so bad. So we start, I start like going down on there from behind. It's freaking her out. So we start, I start like going down on there from behind. It's freaking around. So then I start, we start having sex. She literally goes, look, I can't do this. She's laughing. She's like, let's just do it some other time. And she left. I've never seen her again. She hit me up on Facebook. Like, really?

This year, she's like, can you remember that time? She's gonna look good. When they had the hiccups, she still look good. I'm the hiccup idiot. I'm the fewer. You are.

I fucked a guy with hiccup once. You have a story. You're the anecdote. You guys will turn Netflix on and be like, oh, see that guy? A lot of girls do that. So wait, is she still nice? No, thank God I know.

I like a nice, hard-shaped ass. No, I don't know what she has anymore. You ever look at somebody you hooked up with a long time ago and you're like, thank God, thank God. No, but every girl I ever fucked has. I think you look great right now. Oh, I don't know, Bob.

You think? I was just cleaning out a hard drive, dude, of all of us back in the day. And, dude, you were a fat motherfucker. Do you have any more pictures? I don't like to see those. I got a ton of them. Yeah, I want to see those.

I got a ton of them. Oh, then you were a fucking, you look like a fat woman. Yeah, I know. I really was. You look like somebody's aunt with cancer. It was, it was, I mean, like you look great now. You're in the best shape of your life now, but back then, I, but I didn't even know you

had Chubby back then. Yeah. I found a picture recently with Kelbee and Deva. Oh, God. And I was so fat. It was on your old place in 520. Yeah. No.

Well, we lived together. No. You know, where you just pulled pull from oh for 420. Yeah, yeah 420. Yeah, it was weird I mean I remember back in the day. I remember just sex and I had so I had a I remember being in the hallway foolin Our girls as they were bringing me on stage You guys ready for your next comic and And I'm fucking, you know, everything's out, fooling around, fucking off. And then they call my name,

I go up with a half a chub, she's in the hallway just looking at me like you dirty boy. And I was like, ugh, I left the party last night. And goodbye. Jumped in my stupid car by myself, got home, Don was in the bed with Max. I was like, you to bed. She's like no, I'm gonna stay here

I'm like I jumped in a king bed by my couch. Oh, she's on the couch. Oh, she's in his bed. She was in his bed I never fucked waitresses Bob always pulled off waitresses. There was one I drove home years ago Really sexy and we were taught like she was showing me her feet in the car and Maybe that's why The rumors about you. Yeah, she'll show me her feet in the car. And maybe that's why. I know the rumors about you. Yeah, you get a show, my feet. No, no, no, but I was, she wanted me to, I figured how we start talking about ass,

but I wanted to eat her ass. And she said to me, will do you like clean ass or end of the shift ass? And the answer was, I wanted to say, end of the, stop one second. If you don't write that down, I'll fucking fire both of you. Stop being enamored with him and write it down.

And she said, and I didn't say, I gave her the answer. I thought she wanted. I was like, I'm like, clean ass, but I didn't. But then we, I came in and we hung out a little bit and I was driving home and I'm like, oh, she wanted me to,

she was trying to let me know that I could eat her ass. Yeah. And I didn't catch it. Well, one, she was like, oh, she wanted me to, she was trying to let me know that I could eat her ass. Yeah. And I didn't catch it. Well, one, she was like, do you like clean ass? And then she sang the other part, end of the shift ass. End of the shift ass. End of the shift ass. No, she did.

She just, she was sexy though. You like the smell. If I have a good chemistry with the person, it depends on the person. But there's been girls out here with that. What did I hate it their body sent it? Dispised it. Yeah, and someone weird? Yeah. chemistry with the person. It depends on the person. But there's been girls I've hooked up with that I hated their body centered, despised it. Yeah, and someone weird.

Yeah, it's nature telling you who not the fuck. That's true. Yeah. There's some girls I've been with. I've had, this is a weird thing. Some girls I've had sex with, and they're not the best, like stereotypically, what you would say, oh, this is girls amazing. They're not the best, like stereotypically, what you would say, oh, this is girls amazing.

They're pigs. But it's been incredible. Maybe three girls in my life that sex was, there was something different. We just connected. We, when we fucked, it was fucking nuts. And every ounce of my body was into it. Everything they did was amazing.

Everything I did was, I could feel, when we were having sex, I, just their vaginas, what? That's getting so emotional. Well, I'm trying to add that to that. Okay, yeah, I'm trying, that's what I'm trying to add. Yeah, 22 year olds who had sex once. Do you only have sex once? No, no, I'm trying. That's what I'm trying to add. Yeah, 22 year olds who had sex once. Do you only have sex once? No, I'm kidding. I don't know how I'm fucking.

That's creepy. You know what I'm saying? Look, I mean, look, I don't have that chemistry with my wife. We f**k and we have sex, but it's not that. It's good, but sometimes it sticks. We fuck and we have sex, but it's not that. It's good, but sometimes it sticks. You know what I mean? And sometimes it's mediocre, you know? What makes it mediocre? Probably me. What, I don't know, dude. It's hard when you're with a girl for 20 years.

It's a long shoot. You know, she's tired. I'm in one time I was trying to get really dirty in the shower. I remember that time I was trying to get really dirty in the shower. I remember that shower. What's up, Bond? Hey, hey. How are you doing?

Yeah, sure, do you think. Yeah, we're in the shower and I was like, oh, let's do this. You know, I wanted to be dirty with her. I think it was when that 50 shades of gray came out. When that book first came out and there's a big hit. So I had this, you remember my shower at the my house, my old house. I did, yeah. It's huge.

It was a big shower. Oh, we're in there fooling around. I was doing all kinds of stuff. And remember I was finger blasting her. I said, you like that and I was kind of pulling her hair. She was like, yeah, and then she was like, all right, you know what? Can you stop? It's not, I don't, like 20 minutes in.

She's like, I don't like it. The shower, I don't like it, the shower, I don't like it in the shower. I just wanna go to the bed and I was like, yeah, you couldn't told me 20 minutes. I got fucking carpal tunnel syndrome from trying to fucking be aggressive with you because I thought that's what you liked

because the nine books you just read or whatever the fuck it was. And then we, you know, it was just like, eh, what was the big book? My husband, my rapist Like I look at my wife now, but she's always beef you know, you mean she's a hired I hope there's a there's it I don't I hope there's an like an an out of it There's a time when the kid gets old enough where you fall out of it. I don't maybe body knows Hi, Bonnie hi, hello body knows. Hi, Bonnie.

Hi. Hello, Bonnie. Hi, Jim. Hello. How are you guys doing? All right. You want to take a jacket off? I'm so freezing.

I was stuck in the subway. And I was freezing. What subway? I was in Chinatown. For what? There was a crack on the track. Why were you in Chinatown? Did Vos make you think a group on it? It's so there's a parking lot downtown. It's cheap.

No, I took the train in. I had to do an audition. I'm a manager. I don't know. Some don't sit calm or something. Do you do good? I mean, I think I did good, but I can't imagine that there isn't somebody already attached to it that's got that part. At the end of it, did they say, how tall are you? Five, seven. Did they say that?

No. Did you available the 26th? We get the 26th? The only thing they said to me was, will you do scale times a hundred? And I was like, I guess. Is that a positive scale times a hundred and I was like I guess Is that a positive scale times a hundred? That's what they said the fuck is that that's what I get paid Scale times a hundred scale times a hundred a scale. Are you kidding? I don't even get paid scale No, thank you guys. I was just saying, the joke really is, I'm like, a thousand dollars.

I was like, I don't know what scale is, I don't know. I'm not how much time's 100. I was gonna say times 10. I know it is, I just keep breaking. Where'd it take that and make it oranges? I thought you were joking like. No, no, no, that's good. I thought you were joking like. Hi. No, I, no, no. That's your joking like did they say,

can you come back tomorrow? No, no. No, it's like, this is the weird thing about auditions. And this is what sucks too. There's 400 shows, now we went from 30 shows being filmed every year, okay? Not too long ago, 10 years ago. Right.

Around 30 shit. 11. I'm just, you know, I run it around it up 11 years ago. There was 30 shows being filmed around there. Now there's 400 shows being filmed. If not more, right. Right. Right. I don't understand where. Why are we not? Yeah. Why are we still in the same position? We were 11 years ago. Absolutely. And here's another thing too. What happened is that movie stars, people who were making movies. They fucking came down to our level. Those bastards. They make more money doing TV than they make movies.

And I can spend time with like kids. Go fuck yourself. Is that you? Was that your dream? To be on a fucking limited series? Or was it to get an Oscar you piece of shit? A fucking limited series would... I'd fucking be Oscar you piece of shit? A fucking limited series would, I'd fucking be incredible for me. That for you, yes. Yes. Yes. They're all doing it.

They're all doing TV. No, because it's, it's, because it's actually better programming than it used to be because it's cable, you can do real stuff. But it's like, and now it's starting to get paid like you're a plumber or something. Do you know what I mean? Like if you're just a working actor,

you're, you know, it's not that great. Your health insurance isn't that great. Right. You know, it's not like every single person you see on TV is making a lot of money. Yeah, but they still, I mean, look, the minimum, I mean, because of the union, I mean, it's for top of show is eight grand in episode.

I'll take eight grand a fucking week, and you're in. I'll take it. Yeah, it's not enough for me. I don't know, I mean, it's like plumbing business. Yeah. I'm like so much more than that. We got to pay for Voss for me. I don't know. I mean, it's my plumbing business. I, um, it's like so much more than that. We got to pay for bosses. I love you. I love you.

There's nobody better. I always get sucked into bunnies. I get shit. But half the time I get shit, I'm like, really it's not enough. Hey, dude. Rachel, yesterday no one gets me. I got that one.

He said likes roll. He says that quite often too. When we were talking about the Opie thing, I was like, how did I, how did I get Opie? I'm not on Opie's side now and I'm not on Jim and Sam's side either. And he goes, that's what you do. That's what you're like. Well, I didn't know we were on together. I just saw you walk in. I booked the first one. We booked this before. Yeah. It's fine. But just to let you know. I'm glad. So let's, it's like what happened? because you thought I think you thought that we did something that we didn't do I got one second What are you looking for a dick? It's time I have the dick gavill for court just think oh

Now get that away from Jim Now, keep that away from Jim. Please, I already won on my chair. Yeah, so I think this should be bigger, actually, what's going on. I didn't even know what I said on the show. I don't think you guys got us fired. I never thought that. I thought I was angry about getting fired

and I thought that you guys were scheming behind the scenes and knew the whole time and I talked to one thing. Can I say one thing? Can I say one thing? Because I know your husband. And I've say one thing. Can I say one thing? Yes. Because I know your husband. And I've talked to your husband, so isn't Jim. And I feel like he's responsible.

That here's why. Here's why. Because when all that stuff went down, you know, he called, you know, it's that's Yammering. You know, they went this and he did this and they, and what the fuck are we gonna do and blah, and you're like, well, I don't know. And you're're like probably just calm or whatever and you think, but then you get you wound up and you're like, yeah, what the fuck?

No, no, this is the part that should really clarify. All of these things I'm saying were not like really weighing on my mind or I was it like I would see you and say them out. I thought we were all fine. Like I didn't think. But it's like this, it's like hard as a comic, you're kind of being funny and you're kind of using real emotions and it all gets mixed up, right? But I would never, but it's not big, it's not big at all. Okay, because I was like to scheme again,

like why would Jim said it was good? But I like to imagine you guys honestly. But why would he? Like in a comedic way. I said yes to the, like I was the best man in our wedding, like I would never have ever scheme. Oh no, no, not to scheme to get us fired.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that was to get OP fired. I got you fired. I didn't have man in our wedding. I would never ever scheme. Oh, no, no, not to scheme to get us fired. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was to get OP fired. I got you fired. I didn't have to scheme for that. No, I know. I know. Sometimes self-destruction will just do. Do everyone's dirty work.

But I thought, I guess I just was like sort of, it was a little bit of misplacing. But it didn't go on for a long time. And then I just said it again yesterday for God knows why. You know, Rich did ask me why didn't I call? And I should have and I Told my sorry, but it was one of those things We're not thinking because in the very beginning

We are very worried about are we gonna be even in the morning? It was so much stuff happening at that time and then I S Don wickland yesterday like why did that show go? It was a funny show I love the show and he goes all he goes it was opi's budget It wasn't the opi get you fired, but what happened was that was considered under the budget of the old show or whatever I know his money got cut. I was mad at Don Wickland too, but the last time I saw him I gave him a big hug and he He was super handsy as he is About him None of it seemed to exist. You want to take out funny wikis?

I'm a Zimmy. Take her out, Ryan. Hashtag me finally. Hashtag me finally. No, I love him. He's a little handsy, he's that. No, he's just, he likes to be funny. What?

And he's not good at that. Right. So it comes out as like, he said that the wine steam too, right? He was just trying to be funny. Yeah. I love what happened with that. Like we don't even know a lot of times people podcasts leave too. Like they'll be on for a while. Like I mentioned yesterday, like, Burr, Rogan, Kevin Smith was going to come on. It's called success. But no serious wants to own it. And then a lot of times people just leave. And

they're like, no, we don't want to be here anymore. And they go to a network. Or come to the things I did have a problem. I didn't hear the whole thing yesterday. What do you mean? You guys were like, did they get paid? We didn't know. Some people don't. Yes, some people got paid.

I know, but me and Rich. I found out for Don. But some people don't. I mean, he's money, I'm getting a smart. But maybe if you didn't get paid, and then all of a sudden you said, hey, we can make more doing ads as our thing, you might have just left. Like I didn't know what happened.

Well, this is what they wiped the slate clean when they were like done with OPE. Everything, uh, so even my show, my show was on too. They played the replay of here, uh, once a week. And I got paid for it. And I never got paid for it, by the way. They never gave me my money. And they wiped it fucking clean. I was supposed to get a certain check,

a certain amount for 18 shows, let's say, that I signed. And then that's why me and Obi-Gun are the fight too, because he was like, you never fucking, and I was like, we were miscommunicated what he was saying, but they wiped the whole station clean. Yeah, and that, and that, let me tell you something. That was not our decision.

We have nothing to do with that decision making. We only got mornings because he took off all that, uh, uh, so, so yeah, I just wanted to clear the air because we didn't, but we would never have skied behind your back to you forever. It wouldn't, it's no advantage to us. No, no, no, I just think guys were like scheming for fun. No, I would hurt my friends for fun. I'm a dick. Oh, no, I mean, you guys are taking me too seriously. Again, it reaches right. No one gets me. No one likes me. We all like me.

I just, I don't imagine Jim in any other way than scheming. OK, that's just how I see it when I close my eyes at night. That's why. Are you still joking? Yes. She is. Not about those like, seeing him at night. Yes, but she doesn't mean skinny, she means black. Yes.

Listen, this is not to talk. You guys are good, right? Everything's good. I've always been good. And then I heard that, I heard my feelings. I'm like, she's like, no, no, no, no. I mean, she thinks I would fucking fuck her up for real. I don't think anyone's listening.

The things I've said about you. What? I mean, what? What? I have. I don't think anyone's listening the things I've said about you What I Can you look at each other please? Oh, I love Jim I would I have no there's nothing on my own at all Even some of the shitty things you said yesterday. I didn't say that He didn't he was the one thing you did say that did bother me. Well, you know it out of the rug cool There was one thing I just remember one thing, now I just remember, I gotta remember what it is.

What was it about? Like, butter, you said something about it. He said I had a huge vagina. Yeah, no, I said you are a huge con. Oh, oh, oh. No, I was, I was even, I love bunny and fluff bag. Can you guys look at each other, please and hug each other?

Come here. Aww. I'm gonna go to fans. I know. But I said, as soon as said, hello, I'm like, oh, everything's fine. You can just, we're gonna take Reddit down with how one hug at a time.

They, Baple. Also, the other thing that I find fascinating about this new world of podcasts and radio shows is that people will just like take something and send it. It's like, you know, you're, you know, speaking into a vacuum. Oh, yeah. Look, look, look, look, what do they say?

A lot of times fans, and sometimes they're fans who are just being dicks and having fun. And other times they're truly assholes. They're trying to get things going. Yeah. And sometimes they're just letting you know what someone said. Like we've been actually just been told things people said. And other times like you're just trying to get something going. Right.

Look, I've actually, I actually, I always, like people send clips, I do listen, I can't help it. Yeah, of course. But it's better to listen. Sorry Bobby, it's better to listen because cannot listen. Oh, you clock suckers, just talk about what, no, it's my show, you fucking cockpot. But tonight, I gotta resentment.

But tonight, but tonight listen. A lot of people, I'm not gonna say any name as people, I used to work with, would react without listening. And it was like that's not what the person said. What you used to work with, would react without listening. And it was like, that's not what the person said. What you used to work with. Yeah, but you can't react to it. Can you? Don't, yes.

Oh, I didn't listen. Does it all off, off a headline? Yeah. It's a weird thing though. A fucking whole thing had come to an end. Obed Anthony was the biggest thing around for a lot of us. Huge. Sure.

The off, the virus festival, the shows, the things we did, the, all these parties, and, and then the podcasting thing blew up on that network, and we were all kind of helping each other out, doing these shows, and then it, it's gone. And it was just a funny show. It's really was a funny show. I mean, it was a, I'm happy, whatever.

It's was a one of the funniest. Yeah. I'll say that in hindsight, yes. Because it was all about, the one thing it was a happy whatever. It's was one of the funniest. Yeah, I'll say that in hindsight, yes. Because it was all about, the one thing it was about fun. That's it. It was just about going in, having fun. Yeah, seriously.

It's got, being ridiculous, smashing each other, having a good time, walking out of the go and do it. That was so fucking funny. And people appreciated it. Like you guys, I mean, I remember the first time I did ONA, I think it was like not even, what's the one before Facebook? Um, my first, my first time, I just started getting like massive amounts of like, you're great, you're funny, you know, it's no, it was fucking great.

And now it's over and it's all split up and all over the, it's fucking crazy. How the fucking, it is crazy. How it, we all knew it would end. We never thought we'd get 10 years on, on satellite. We figured it over the place. It's crazy how the fucking, it is crazy, how we all knew it would end. We never thought we'd get 10 years on satellite. We figured it would be over by 2007. So the fact that we got to 2014, this is not gonna miracle. But it's what that suck. I remember somebody telling me about it way early on

and I was like, this is stupid. It's weird how the fans split. Like, when you're in this whole thing, it's just the ONA fans, but then when it split up, you didn't realize how they were like, some people just like them, some people like him, some people, and everybody hates fucking everybody. Everybody has hatred.

Like, I can't believe there's people that don't like you. Oh, I believe. Yeah. Oh, what is that? Let me answer this one. Yeah. You know what I mean, though? Sure. I'm actually... Yeah, what do you think? Let me answer this one. You know what I mean though? Sure.

But you learn to get... I've been getting bashed for 17 years on Methods boards. Like since 2000, when I first went on... But your fans or that whole culture of fans, that's what gets scary because you just like even are dust up, it's like people be like, they're siding with you so they're being mean to me or whatever. I mean, this is possible. There like, they're siding with you so they're being mean to me or whatever. I mean, this is possible. There's somebody that's siding with me. I'm sure they're. I don't know. But it's like, you forget like any little thing they're ready to come at you.

Yeah, you know what it is because that thing that would focus all of them, which was the show, which was replayed all day, it's not there anymore. A lot of them are fans who are just disappointed and angry at us. A lot of them are fans who are just disappointed and angry at us. A lot of them are people who were never fans. They hated us and now are enjoying it. Yeah. And a lot of them had nothing to do with it anyway. They just come over because it's a great troll site. Like, it really is. I mean, it's the meanest place on the internet is the ONA subreddit. But there's some really, really funny guys there. Well, there's a fucking horrible.

There's a very few of them that I actually hate. There's a couple of them that I really hate. I did it. I did it, I did it, ask me anything on the reddit. Yeah. And it was, I told the, just the laughs, I told them I go, this is gonna be, this is gonna be horrific. You know that. They're like, no, it's gonna be fun.

I was like, no, no, no, no, I'm not Brian Regan. Okay. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not fucking Russell Peters. This is going to be fucking evil. And I remember the lady was sent a text message like, I don't understand. They were so mean to me. There was so many bad jokes.

So fucking well jokes. There was, but a lot of them, a lot of them just have a mean sense of, like there are people who are just fucking being dexed just because it's funny to be exact. But some of them are funny. Some of them are really funny. They're like, this is very few of them just have a mean sense of you like there are people who are just fucking being dick Just because it's funny to be a thing some of them are funny some of them are a funny fucking laugh There's very few of them. There's very few of them if it was someone else. I really hate like there's a couple I'm that I think are genuine scumbags. Yeah, but the majority of them is like I just being a dick like you know I mean like you just fucking me being shitty just cuz it's funny to be shitty

I like I like when Patrice was around here block Mondays was it block Mondays? Oh? funny to be shitty. I like I like when Patrice is around he'd have block Mondays. Was it block Mondays? Where ever she was block? Everybody would have. I just looked over at my fans that from Griffin Dove. I got these they really are. They really are like elf like and then the fucking protector. What? You guys Bobby fans? Well, yeah, I don't know why you have to ask him like that. I know, I think. Are you willing to sign an affidavit? Yeah, put your headphones on.

What you would be arguing your husband, don't wear fucking headphones. Your husband spends the whole podcast going, what, what'd you say? Well, I mean, look, it's over. The everything comes to an end and it's a weird, I mean, Stern's not going to be on someday. And a lot of his fans are like, a lot of his fans have had the same issue.

Yeah. Like they've gone over it. There's like anger between Arty and him or between Stuttering John and Arty at times or Stuttering John and how they get involved. They get involved. Yeah. And every show like that that has that level of volatility and that level of hardcore fucking animals listen to it They're all made a lot of them are mad at Howard because he cleaned up a lot of the old stuff

And he does celebrity interviews are angry at the way he's you know, it is what it is people just get pissed off And they want it the way it used to be but back in 2007 and 2006 people would tell us you guys fucking suck You were funny on any w and you're shit now we heard that from the minute we got back on satellite. So it's like wherever you are, people like you were funnier then. What, I don't understand it though. It's just, it's fucking hilarious. All we're doing is trying to entertain people.

We become the like the professors and of the world or something in people's minds. Like we're supposed to have all the right answers all the time. Yeah, it's weird. We're we're supposed to have all the right answers all the time. Yeah, it's weird. We're just trying to fucking have a laugh. How does the person do it? Come on.

And then, so the fact that I get thumbs down on my YouTube page is, I don't, it's like, dude, as soon as the video goes up, there's three guys that immediately get the email, the news, and fuck you down. The probably guy who's girlfriend, you fucked up the comedy seller. He fucked my girlfriend, the electric room 18 years ago, thumbs down in his shitty podcast. What? I've had a lot of sex in the pub. Yeah, we were talking about the freaking thing. Yeah, that's why we had to put a lock on it. Yeah, well they had a lock on it, but I found the key. Yeah, it's gone now. Yeah, it

was a little key in there. Is that room still there? Yeah, but I found the key. Yeah, it's gone now. Yeah, it was a little key in there. Is that room still there? Yeah, it's there. Yeah. Oh, it's there, but they had to take the key away. We took the key away. I did the girls' bathroom one night too, just once. Yeah, I did it one night, while the show was going on.

Do you have any worries about your past coming back to haunt you in today's day and age of... No, because I was never that guy. That's what they all say. That's what they all say. That's what they all say. They're all like, I thought it was consensual. The way my dick function anyone that says I forced them good luck. But as a dude, you've thought about it.

Every guy has. Every male has you. Most of my exchanges were financial. Everything I do know I put at the end, like, don't forget what you did to me. Every guy just said, I don't know if they did to me. Every guy, just imagine how big you remember. You're not like that. That's fucking scary. Who's it being?

It's scary to shit. Yeah. Every guy has gone over there past. Every guy. But there's nothing that my wife knows in my piece of shit. I mean, she sucked my dick on our first date on a rock. I heard you saw horror.

Yeah, she's a horror. She is. And now she has a house. Good for her. She's been raped. She think rich, but a beautiful young max. Fucking is. And now she has a house. Good for her. She's being great. She's being great. She's got a beautiful young max fucking dirt ball. Took it in the face.

But I, yeah, I'm a piece of shit. I've done a lot of fucked up shit, but I never did anything to anybody where, you know, it was like I forced somebody to do something. But. Does it scare you that these people can just twist things or?

Well, that's the thing is that someone can just say something and hundreds of people automatically believe them because they have a hashtag under it. And there's no proof, there's nothing. There's, and then you have to come out and say, no, you're, you're lying, you're crazy that never happened. And, but it doesn't matter. But the thing is, is anybody who's come out

and been like, hey, that happened and I'm sorry, they're destroyed. The people that like defend themselves and go, no, I didn't do it, they're like fine. They're being okay. So that's, if somebody comes out, you just say you do. Well, it's true, because you're actually, it's weird to me that people just believe somebody

because of a hashtag, it's fucking scary to me. You just believe somebody because of a hashtag. It's fucking scary to me. You just put that there. Oh, just get him. Fuck him. It's crazy. The stuff that happened to Louis to me is crazy. It is tremendous over correction.

The fact that nobody's acknowledging it, nobody in the business is acknowledging it is fucking nuts to me. Here's the problem, Louis. Louis didn't tell us, and he will eventually when he's ready, but he hasn't told us what his version is. So all we have with Louis is what they said, and no, no rebuttal from him,

so we don't know what his, all of you can do. I wasn't completely naked. I want people to know that. Yeah, like, but he didn't tell us anything. So we don't have anything to fucking go on. Like, I would love something from him to go on,

but if we went on the facts that they said, it's still horseshoes. It still seemed like not enough for a New York Times article. I was surprised that he got a Times article. Yeah, that's like, it's even like, it's because he was the second person, I think. And there was rumors for a while,

but I mean, the fact that when I saw the time, like the masturbation thing became its own sort of like, clickbait. I'm like, that's all, like, well, he's also the biggestation thing became its own sort of like a clickbait. I'm like, that's all like, well, he's also the biggest, you know, seeing how big he is. Yeah. How idiot.

Like any movie coming out the next day. Not as penis, you fuck. Yeah. That's what. Size queen. Stop it. Both of you guys, your eyebrows went up. I'd love to see.

I've seen Louis penis once in Lucky Louis. I saw her too. Yeah, it was okay. It was on TV. It was awful. It looked like it was being strangled. It was not great. You really got a good look. You remember?

Well, when you look at man on HBO's thing and he walked out of the bed naked, that was a weird thing for a sitcom. Your brains and sitcom mode. Yeah. And then I was sudden you see some redhead chubby dudes cock. That's how that's exactly how those women felt. You just explained it perfectly. You might have a point, maybe.

It was tragic. The biggest laugh up ever seen in a room ever. It was on Lucky Louis. It was Rick Shapiro walking in nude at the end of something to get something naked. It's the biggest laugh I've ever seen anything get because people were in that sitcom mode. They were there for a sitcom and they heard dirty language and they saw this fucking naked drug addict walk in. I think that's why I mean, there was a great show

but I think that's why it didn't work. It didn't work because of the critics. It got more and more views. I would talk to Louis every week. He said we're actually going up. He goes, most shows go down after a few weeks. Like he knew all about that. And he said, no, we're actually going up from He goes, most shows go down after a few weeks, like he knew all about that. And he said, no, we're actually going up

from week to week to week. More people are watching. But there was a bunch of critics that gave it shit. Same ones that love him now. And there was one critic, well yeah, but I mean up until recently. There was one critic and then daily dues who went out of his way to hurt the show.

Really? And I remember when it happened. I kind of remember when I was in the hot. No, yeah, she's wrote an article for actually wrote an article for no I just heard him talk about this actually who Louie or the guy the guy yeah he was a real dick for doing that there's no reason for it was already you know he'd already reviewed it yeah but he was just going out of his way to fuck the show up but HBO was dumb to listen to it they shouldn't listen to that well I mean look at we would

have never got Louie the show in the show yeah I mean I I think it was a better representation of what I don't think it was a better representation of what Louis does. I don't. Well, of course you know, no, it was a better show than like, I think Lucky Louis was very funny, but I think obviously what he did was, this was, but here's the thing is I remember,

after Lucky Louis, how tragic that was, I saw him up front with an eight millimeter camera, and I was like, what do you do? He's like, I'm just, I was kind of sad. I was like, I was walking around with an eight millimeter. I was like, what the fuck happened? He's like, I'm just, I was kind of sad. I was like, oh, he's walking around with an eight millimeter. I was like, what the fuck happened? You can't make a film. He did it.

He's so fucking ahead of the curve. He was just like, fucking, I'm going to make my own little thing. And that was the opening of the first movie with Chelsea Peretti. He was someone like a little short movie. He had another pilot that didn't work after that. I'm almost positive. It was after Lucky Louis. He did something I think for CBS. Yeah. And it didn't go. But you know, it's fucking, then he't work after that. I'm almost positive. It was after Lucky Louis. He did something, I think for CBS.

Yeah. And it didn't go, but you know, it's fucking, then he comes up with that. It's just, I mean, I think it's so fucked up that no, I just wish he would talk so we could all kind of get behind him and know that. I don't think he's gonna come out with some crazy special that's gonna address everything.

A lot of times for legal reasons people don't talk, because it gets tricky. And this is why Cosby didn't say anything. Because if someone says anything, and if you deny it, or if you say that's not true, they sue you for defamation. Really? Yes, that's how,

this is only my speculation, but you guys remember when Oscar D'Alohoi had those fucking phenomenal pictures of him and ladies closed? Yeah. I mean, he said, I think he first came out, he was those of Photoshop,

or whatever, and if I remember correctly, the girl threatened to sue him for defamation. How the fuck are you so sorry? We're saying I'm lying. Like she said, these pictures were real. He's saying they weren't. So she's like, by doing that, you're saying that I'm lying.

You're hurting my character. Whatever. So it went away. But so it was real though. My opinion, it was real, but I don't know. And then it just went away. I mean, when those photos came out for a guy in that world to be in the boxing world, to be an ex champion, to still be in the game,

and then to have these come out, and nobody says anything. Always been, he was all over the place. Go back, he actually admitted it, Gabby. If you go back to, you'll see. I love it, and he looks good in it, and why didn't he, he should have just owned it from the beginning.

I'll tell you why he probably didn't just own it from the beginning. Here's my guess, and this is pure speculation. She had these photos and something tells me that it's a complete guess, but something tells me that possibly finances were discussed and then possibly it was said no way. And then possibly this was the shot across the bow. Like you see, I like just wait. I'm thinking there's more Yeah, just now now and then where do you get a whole jumpsuit fish net? I don't know, but it doesn't know that The gloves the gloves are the worst part of the photo

He's fucking gloves off stupid. I know he's like no I'll put on the heel The raging bull Jackie Lamar Jane Lamar. Jane Lamar. Yeah, show the girl though. Go back. This won't him and her. The fucking girl is hot.

She's like a Russian girl. Wow. I don't fuck with those Russian. No, she went there. Holy fuck was she attractive. Yeah. I know a girl that used to look at his little sack. Look at his little sack hanging on the side.

Yeah, and he's a man's man. I'll show it. He couldn't admit it. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Is that the key though? So if that happens to you, say you get caught with these photos, you just up like a girl is who cares.

Right. I mean, you just admit it. Yeah, that's it. I can care less. I got a picture of my ass and thigh highs. My ass looks great. I've sent that out before. I'm not a cross-dresser though. It doesn't do anything for me.

I've tried it. It just, it just, it felt perverted, but it didn't feel like. Ooh, look at him. Look at him. I've never, I've never, I've never get into it. Yeah, it's not my thing. I girl liked it though, and she was spanking me,

and she was being really dirty. And I was like, all right, I could kind of get it to that part. Don't give me shit if I fucking, I'd love to see you in a fucking way. If I wear her scarf. I'm just like, what are you doing? Take it off. I never mind her pants. What are you doing with her scarf on?

Exactly. I was called I want to go outside for a second. I wore a scarf with you Would you ever wear her panties? Would she like it? Now at first, what you would see them Don't even know if I had them on I'd have to stand on my head for you to see your panties on would you let rich wear panties if you wanted to? I mean I would But heys me on so many levels. I don't know how. I'm married. I have a wife.

I have a kid. I don't know how you do it. I, you are a saint. I'm being punished for something. I don't know what it is. What? I'm telling you what, I'm not giving up. I will not cave in on this.

I may have made a bad decision when I'm sticking with up. I will not cave in on this. I may have made a bad decision To the end CB in order if you wanted to wear panties. Well, I honestly don't think that's such a bizarre thing You see his hats like yeah I'm the hat behind you The ring his rings It's better than the lady bracelet. The Lady bracelet. The Lady bracelet, I was like, I see where in jewelry fell. I think he's transitioning from the fingertips past.

Oh, like, they look like turtle feet. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's I He does not have ring fingers he has short hands No, you know what I got game of thrown hands It's terrible. I think he looks like he's selling rings Like in the street This is why it's things it's all the same ring It's weird It's really the same, but he's got another one on it. Oh my God.

He just looks like it's a real fucking ring. Oh my God. I don't know bad. I catch him looking at him all the time. Do you think he thinks he looks dressed? He's always looking at his hands. He's like, if someone could Photoshop rings under that turtle foot, that would be nice.

Can I just say something? Look, one day you've got a tattoo and then he's like completely covered in tattoos. He gets a ring, he's gonna have 100 bucks. I don't know what's next. I said to him the other day, is it gonna be capes? What is it?

What's coming? Can you tell him you don't like the rings? I say stop making me look at it or talk about it. You can have him. I'm not gonna, you know, does he make you want to be but I can't have a discussion on how great they look and I can't do do you think they look great? What do you think they look great? No, I they're horrible. I don't like I don't want any jewelry at all. The fact that he spent that much

much thousands of dollars on these stupid the same ring over and over. He's got for those for his hands He said should never have a ring on his hands ever. He's he's a thousand dollars. Yeah, there's another one on his other hand Same thing. I think he might like he might be addicted to the negotiating part But he has to get something on a bit of the end part. But he has to get something on a bit of the end. So he does. Wait, he negotiates when he goes there like he goes to the diamond district. Do the negotiates pizza. How much for a slice? I got 150. That's old. Yeah. I love lost though because he's so honest. Like, I don't know to hide that addiction. You know, he's like launching. But if he sees somebody touch the inside of his cup and they get his coffee like, he doesn't know to hide that addiction. You know what I mean? He's like, launching it.

He sees somebody touch the inside of his cup when they get in his coffee. Oh, yeah. But could you cut your hands out of my cup? Like, I love that he'll do that. I admire that. The other day, we were getting last night, we were getting coffee at Duncan Donuts

of the drive-through. And the guy, so he orders the coffee and then the guy goes, okay, drive up and reach, go, oh, I go, wait, why? What got you mad there? It's hard to know sometimes. He goes, he didn't tell me how much. I go, he didn't say the amount to you.

That's how, that's all it takes for him to get angry. Oh, that's amazing. I was like, you're keeping everyone to such a high bar. Does he ever embarrass you? How do you embarrass you publicly to interact with people? Jim. I mean, with anger, like where he's like

mad at them for doing something because Vosla got mad, it always makes me like, I got mad, we were after ONA one day, we were walking to the, whatever, this is Jewish place. You can eat in the diamond district upstairs. He took me to a great place,

but some guy was, some guy was protest in Israel, and he got into a fucking fight with the guy. He's like, yeah, they fucking murdered six of me. He started going into the juice, and the guy was like, fuck you, and I mean, Vos is gonna kill him. Yeah, it's one of his buttons. Like, I made a joke, like, oh my God. One time I said in a meeting, I was like joking around.

I go, like, because I know how rich feels, like, oh, I feel sorry for the pal's denience, and the one who goes, me too. And I was like joking around. I go, like, because I know how rich feels, I go, I feel sorry for the pal's denience and the woman goes, me too. And I was like, oh shit, like I'm like, did you say anything or no? Yeah. I don't think you heard it. I think it's focused, I was aware of both.

But I want to say this though, that there's nobody that makes me laugh. I mean, I will fucking hang what rich. I will do radio with Rich every single fucking time. I love doing radio with him. I just don't know how you live with him. I don't understand it. He's honest that he's a lot of work.

It's like emotionally draining all the time. To constantly go over his hat or his rings or how he looks or he's a legend or... You know what I mean? Like, I'm not even joking, it's like, and you can say the wrong thing so easily. You know what I mean? You can get offended by, if you're like,

like sometimes he'll upgrade. You'll be like, he'll be like, I was doing, I did so, oh no, sometimes I'll start like, I still be like, it was a shitty crowd last night, you know, whatever, and I go, you did great, he goes, I did amazing! Like, whatever and I go you did great because I did amazing Like he's mad that you're not going like far enough, you know

Hey, hey some man this motherfucker. I just don't understand that how your life I was saying this before you came in how some network true TV or somebody hasn't It's insanity because it should be a show. You have to manage it. It's crazy. You two daughters, you're a rena, you, your friends, the road, the, the fuck they're always bickering both funny, a podcast to start off every week. It is crazy. This is how fucking dumb show business is. I am so scared. You just got it. Show business is stupid. The fact that you guys don't have a show.

Just him. Oh, have you guys, I mean, how many times do you pitch the show a day? If you get it. And no, you gotta leave him out of the negotiate. Yeah, and he's like, so what are we, are we gonna, and you know, we fucking murders it in the room?

Listen, can you get it? If we got the show behind his back, if we all got together and got the show behind his back, he doesn't even have to know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He'll be as there is. The day I was signed.

Why, so that you, why? So that we could get you guys a show on TV. Without him spoiling. Without him spoiling it with his fucking paranoia and a shitty show business sense. He's got a six sense about this. Is he good in meetings? Oh, he seems very so fast. He's got a he's got a six sense about this. Is he good in meetings though? He seems he's very so fast. He's yes, he's funny meetings, but then he's like he thinks he's really good.

He rich won't admit that he's not good at something. Do you know what I mean? So he's like, I'm really good at meetings and you're like, you could listen a little, you know, is he talk too much? Yes, he I go. Let them be the first people to talk just here. What they're gonna say, then we'll pair it back, what they want, and we'll say, we have it, you know, whatever, these little tricks. And he just goes in and starts, just literally, I hear phrases that I've used on him. It's just anything that...

He panics. I don't know if it's panic. He thinks he's being really smart. He thinks he's showing people how much he knows. But does he know that he's not, is he being smart? Does he know that he's not that dumb, but he's not dumb, but he doesn't know He doesn't know he does this crazy thing where he will tell he'll meet somebody who has a job that you don't know about like like I don't know

FBI profile okay, you mean an FBI profile and he'll tell the FBI profile or what is job is to him? I'm like what like don't you think they think you're an idiot? Well, he used to tell people he was an FBI profiler. I know so he would tell them every bit of information What would you play golf? He didn't want to say comedian and he would tell people he was an FBI profiler It's the greatest thing anyone's ever done How do we get through the word profile? I can't pronounce it, but don't let that stuff be from believe in it.

I told him I was a profilier. No. It's my favorite thing that anyone's ever done is boss playing golf. Because he has three books that he referenced. Yeah, John Douglas and probably Robert Ressler. And there's no one probably ever believed him. He's really good.

Put the three mile killer. Oh, god. It the green mile killer. Oh, God. It's my favorite thing. He is a fuck, there is nobody on the fucking planet like him. But is that lack of self awareness that makes him funny? Yes, yes. That's why, like, I don't wanna ruin that.

But he's also so fast too, like, Yes. And he's fearless when he's making fun of somebody, like until after, he's like, I'm okay, but he's really, really, he's lighting fast and he's mean. I think this is what sucked. This is what sucked. He's not even mean, he's angry.

That's real. I love it. I just love it. He has a mean sense of view. I love it. He's where it goes. This is what's happening with comics though that sucks, is that, or I'm gonna do another read in a second.

This is what's happening with comics that I think, I don't know if it sucks, but it's just the way it is. The way like Voss came in last night, you came in last night. Keith, I look around at all the table, every other comics are talking and laughing. And me, Voss comes over to me, sits down, we immediately start trashing down the keys. And then Bonnie comes over and she's trying to have a normal conversation just smiling.

And we just look at her. Oh, yeah, you guys are mocking. Her fucking community college smile course that she took where she was listening to Chris to Stefano. And she was like, mm-hmm, really? Oh, right. We just started having just hilarious fun. But you look over at the other plate.

Like comics are starting to say like, oh yeah, that's good, the seller table stuff. Yeah, no, it's a negative. I had a kid come up. A negative man. It's a negative, yeah, it's a negative. Like, yeah, all right, yeah, good for you with the seller. Yeah, not everything's a seller table.

Like, these young comics now, well, we did for fun, they don't, they're like, fuck you. Cause they can't play or they can't take it. No, because it's in many emotions. Yeah, and it's so old school. And that like, they, you know, they're probably on the tail end of, you know, in high school, not being mean to anybody. No bullying, you know, they're probably...

Is that going to affect fucking fun? Yes, yes. Absolutely, because they have no skin, none. Yeah, it really is. The salad table is just bunch of, nothing beats people making fun of each other. Just friends, mockies, everyone does it. That's all I want.

Put on an item of clothing and be like, can I take it? Okay, yeah. Is this worth it? Is this at worth it? The beating that I'm about to add? I've thrown out clothes and fought with my wife because she gave me the okay on the sweat pants.

Literally, you motherfucker. And in the trash, she's like, what, they look good. clothes and fought with my wife because she gave me the okay on the swept. Little you mother fucker. And I in the trash. She's like, what they look good. And I've had my feelings hurt. I've been hurt, but who gives a shit? Yeah, no, it's fun for a minute. And then it's like then you keep laughing and you're like, when is it going to end? It's like, I've had it for like 20 minutes, just being like, I've had a 40, I had a 45 minute smashing from Keith Robertson and Patrice O'Neill in fucking Amsterdam in a van that almost made me cry. Literally, they were laughing so hard

and the guy who booked the show who didn't laugh all week with us had to pull the van over. He was laughing so hard to smashing. I was looking out the window at like fucking just a canal. And I was just like trying to smile, but I almost cried. Because I was so mad and sad.

Because I just wanted to go enough. I just wanted to go enough and they wouldn't stop. No. And I had to just have to keep laughing. I just had to keep taking it. And finally we got to the place because I wore black polyester shirt with black polyester bell bottom pants. What? I didn't know they were bell bottom until I bought them and it's all I had to look like I was, it looked like I heard them in through glass going

I'm a matrices laugh Feel You have to get in the van you want to just go back into the room and see. I could, I got to get rid of them yet. I sat there. And I remember like leaning on, I was the window just like, oh, just like come on. And, you know, it's like you learn stuff about yourself too,

because I remember one time getting in the car after a beating and then being like, to riches. Is that what people, like what are the jokes was? Colin Quingos, I bombed so bad, I thought it was very to Rich Voss. Oh, no. Oh. And I was like, is that what my thing is? Is that like, you start to question it?

It's like, all of a sudden, people start making jokes about your breath. You're like, what? What? Well, they kicked me. They, they made fun of my acts, me fucking of stool so much, I just tried to make them a better comic.

Yeah, I remember one time, Macy, oh, Macy, oh, picked the stool up and pretend it was a beer. And then someone yelled out, ah, he just drank the stool, Bobby, fuck. I was, yeah, I was, yeah you yeah wasn't I'm just I think I don't know why did I'm just taking the credit for it I tell you I made it up. It's yeah like I had a kid say to me I was I was bustin balls with them it was sitting there whatever I come on you fucking idiot

So what is there anything gonna got to be a seller table. I'm just fucking relaxed. I'm having, it's like, what a fucking, was he just trying to joke with you? No, he was just like, not everything's got to be the seller table. Like we can, yes, like we can have serious moments. And it's like, yeah, dude, I know that.

And if, you know, but. But you know, it used to be in charge of comedy was good comedians. That's who used to be in charge of it. And the clubs would book people based on, you know, but you know who used to be in charge of comedy was good comedians. That's who used to be in charge of it. And the clubs would book people based on, you know, who the good comedians, like if you wanted to move up, you had to get the good comedians to like you. Yeah. And then you also had to take a beating and you also had to let it,

it was, there's got to be some kind of word for it where it's like a self sort of, auto-tocracy, something. What? Self-atocracy maybe. I don't know if that is self-police. Can you Google it? No, no, I'm making up a word because I don't know the word for it. I'm just saying there's got to be something where you, you, you, you, you, you, you guys are

young. You're young. You're young. You're young. You're young. But you've always been, you've had, like I've known him for years from San Antonio. You've always had old school respect. Like you've always been very nice, very Antonio. You've always had old school respect.

Like you've always been very nice, very cool. You know what I mean? But I feel like the younger this generation coming up is like, like I said, it's really a show. There's an entitlement. There's a fucking entitlement. And I don't want to sound like an old cunt because I know I'm insecure.

I know I'm a fuck, I have respect issues. I understand my fucking horse shit. I get it. Do you have respect issues? What? I'm fucking it to rugby, I get it. You ever respect issues? What the fuck? I'm fucking it to rugby, man. How could you ever see this show?

My show, damn, it's my show. Oh, I know. How would you, how would you show? My show. Oh, my God. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're stealing my shit. I was like, can you not put that on the, you gotta block that, I said.

We're not live, are we live? You have respect issues. Can you do it again? I have no. No, because I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to see your technique. My technique. I got a little glint.

It's just a little glint. I know. I grew up. Aggressive. Why is it turning me on this? Two women and it wasn't me just suck at dick. Why did you hit it? Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If you promised not to tell my wife. I just, I do have respect issues. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's, I think one of my main things because I got so abused as a kid that I am my biggest fear. And because I've crawled out of that hole myself and got to where I am myself really with you know whatever

I respect is always that thing and I hope they carry the fucking towards me. Please don't fucking be nice to each other. Right. Please don't respect each other. Please don't. I hope it's not this fucking fluff and nutter. It's not an acting class, man. This is comedy.

Yes. Look it, that's one thing. Actors have always been different than us. Yes. They've always been over here and they don't get us. They don't fuck around like us. That's why comics were kind of untouchable. I am.

Well, watchable. After years of training. Well, the untouchable. After years of training. After years of training. Well, the untouchable. After. I am. I am watchable. You're just straight. I am.

I am watchable. You're just straight. I am watchable. I am watchable. You're just straight. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable.

I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable.

I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. I am watchable. tour take no prisoners. Is it really? Now my new special I'm gonna I know I'm gonna call it what are you gonna call it? EG as I want to be And then it's like you on the on literally on an edge with a microphone and a bunch of people going don't say it. I'm cautioned. I can't stay. I really have what? I just hope that it's not a fucking, it's not over. I hope it's not over. I think it might be though. I think your call to mean this though is, I think you need to speak that more.

What? You're getting the younger comics to be mean to one another. Can I say something though? I don't think you have a problem. Go, go, go. I don't think that's going to disappear after, so. You just wanted to feel the girth and the weight of it. Oh, I laughed at it.

I'm going to go with that. I don't give more than a hug for this. I am. I am. I am. I am. for this. I don't give more than a hundred for this. I don't give more than a hundred for this. I uh... Shit, I think they can give it. I just don't, like I say it all the time,

you can give, you can bust balls. That's why I love your husband. And I say this about him all the time. Is that rich boss, not only can give it like the best things one of the fastest and he takes it like nobody else. He will laugh and fucking take it. And that is the key to fucking being funny. If you can't take it then fuck you. You'll say something to somebody and they'll say something to your trash. You'll say something back to me like that's not true. I know you suck it.

When someone takes your insult literally. And then they give you a real answer. But that's the comeback too. No, that's not true. I have a lot of fans. You fucking kind of like your don't. I want to hear your insult. You fucking cunt.

I don't care if you do. Shut up. Because the thing is, is that you're supposed to, that's supposed to be a way of showing camaraderie and like friendship even, you know? It's like, you're not supposed to take offense. You're not supposed to take offense, but I really, you should be.

But I'm a lot more careful than I used to be. Well, you're vicious. I know. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, I don't know that I didn't, I just recently found out other people had feelings. So, sorry, I didn't know. It is, you are, you and your husband are two of the fucking

sponsors. That's why Rich, though we got married honestly, because it's like, I thought about it once, is like, he can take me. Do you know what I mean? Like, I would break somebody else. You would break somebody else. You would.

Yeah. Definitely where you go. There's the secret. How long do you and it stay mad at each other for? Um. Ten years? No, sometimes, I mean, there's a low grade hatred at all times.

For, um, but even in the middle of a fight, we can make each other laugh sometimes. Like sometimes, well, for me, I don't know if I'm crazy, but I've a hard time knowing what's real and what's not real a lot of times. Cause we're joking and we're on a podcast and we're fighting and sometimes I'm crying. And like, what is that?

It gets weird. What is that? Cause you aren't, you're not, you're not like this emotionless woman. Right. You do cry, not you. No. No. No.

No. No, and I get really mad and like, I'll be like, this is what rich, because I'll just be like joking around, have fun, they'll say something, I'll just get really mad and be like, that's fucking it and I'll storm out. Yeah, you've got me a couple times.

You made me fucking mad a couple times. You got me. I did. Oh, a couple times, yeah. But it's, it's, it was good because, because I, Are you gonna go on Jim's show? I actually, I'm the one who got you fired. Oh, I got you.

I was gonna get these cocksuckers off the air. No, I remember one time when I was having you on my first live YKWD in Gotham. It was supposed to be you and Voss, but Voss had a cancel because he had a gig. And I had, what's his name? What's his name? Who played your, he did Voss.

Oh, Bob, Bob. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, was Voss the whole time. What happened did 10 minutes as your husband did his act? He's so good at doing it. Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Everything right I want it all and I'm doing everything myself and I'm video to and then Bonnie comes out and you're like Relax. Oh my god. Oh don't ever say relax to Robert Kelly ever if you want me to relax don't say that fucking tell me to relax It does something me it starts off fire Normally when you'd hear that it'll be a man whispering into your ear It might be associated

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Remember I said like a, yes, our business. We're supposed to be good for each other. Keep each other in check. Well, it's true, but there's one thing like it. Yes. Our business were supposed to be good for each other and keep each other in check. Well, it's true, but there's one thing like actors. If you notice actors do interviews, it's the, when I was doing interviews and we had to do the sex and drugs and rock and roll thing and we would do these interviews, I always trying to be funny and goofy and silly and, and then you, I watched these actors do these professional interviews and I'm like, oh shit.

And they would never air my shit. Like my stuff would always get cut up a little bit and they would air these out because there's a way to do them and being goofy or funny. They don't want, they want, it's almost like a late night set. It's like, the more fat you cut off, the better it is. You know what I'm saying? Don't say it. it's gonna work.

But your eyes lit up like a lizard who just saw a fly on a fucking leaf. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER But yeah, it's... It's crazy. It's what? It's better to be... It's what, it's better to be.

It's what, as comics, I think that comics are becoming more like actors. I think they're becoming more corporate or like you said, maybe the generation. Or is it the audience that the audience is only accepting a certain formula and voice as that an issue? I don't, I think that's right. That's right. The problem lies. I think that's an issue. I don't, I think that's right. I think that's the problem lies. Because I read all the emails. Does the funniest guys,

hashtag, I don't agree with you. The funniest comics out there right now have nothing to do with that political craze. I walk right up on stage and I'm like, if you guys got any hang ups, leave them at the door. But yeah, the funniest, the most famous funniest comics out there right now and have nothing to do with that political correct or shit. I think it's that it may be a generation, so maybe the new generation that is millennials are more sensitive and they don't want to be mean to each other and they don't want to

fucking bus balls with each other. They want to come down and sit down and have a conversation and say, man, you're really good. Oh, thanks, man. You're too. And blah, blah, blah. I'll see you later. Bye-bye. Take care. I think that maybe that style of comedy is in right now. But there's always been comedians that are too sensitive. It's like anything else. Like this plenty of them that are probably still shitty on mean with each other. You know, it's like, there's plenty of our generation that were just like oh, okay, I didn't like to tease each other Not everyone likes to make fun of each other even you know, it's like yeah But it seems like though like this table thing like we do the folk and Because it became a short of sense it just became a thing. Yeah, but it's it's like yeah

I'm not trying to we're not trying to make it a table. It's trying to fund you fucking idiot Yeah, it just became a thing. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, I'm not trying to, we're not trying to make it a table, it's trying to fund you fucking it. Yeah. It just became a thing. Like you know what I mean? It was like one of those things where tough crowd came from it. And a lot of them just became a thing people talked about. But when people were hanging out there, everyone was just, they're talking shit, eating.

Yeah, I think they wanted over. I don't think they wanted, they don't want to fuck with each other anymore. I mean, they even used it in that guy, whatever's name is used it in his article. Oh, yeah, But that, oh boy, did he get a beating for that. That was amazing. Did he, did he ever back up on that? He got, he was really, but he got pounded in. Yeah, I started to feel bad about. Oh, I know way. I never, I didn't listen to it though. It was great. You should listen. You're friends with him. Right?

The box was great. Yeah. No. I thought you were friends with him. Seriously? No. I tweeted out that he was a jackass for writing that. Oh, who's that? And he was wrong. Why did he? He was just ill informed. Yeah.

And he should have been an adult and went, I was wrong. I didn't know what I was talking about. I was reacting to an impression I had about something. We've all done it, but he was wrong. Yeah, the day. But he had the balls to go on there. He had to know that was not gonna be good. Yeah, but he hadn't walk in and just under there.

But then they get no more for them a spot. He didn't take it. And you're a stand up. This is the, and no, is a pretty straight guy. He would have said, if he liked you, he would have used you. It's a lot of pressure, but I totally would have done it. This your job. Everybody says that.

But if you do it, if you do it and you bought, because one thing that you said on that to the black girl who was kind of siding with him, Joelle. Joelle was kind of siding with, you know, it is, I come here, I feel uncomfortable. He's like, I don't care about race, I don't care about gay or funny. That's all I care about. And then he was like, would you rather know that you're here because you're funny or because you're black or because you have a vagina or you're a woman?

And she was like, oh, yeah, I'd rather know because I'm funny. And he's like, well, that's why you're here. So you can't play the race card or the gay card. If he's like, fuck it, I don't give a shit who you are, you're here because you're funny. I want the funniest people at my club. And they make sure they mix it up. We talk about it. There's a lot of funny women.

There's a lot of funny women. And a lot of the people that other people don't know are gay. We knew. But it's all fucking dumb Keith Robinson started outing everybody. He was just fucking outing him. He was going, what about him?

And like, he's not out yet. A lot about him. He's not out. They had to beat the whole fucking show. He outed fucking four people with the bottle actually more gay comics than the other kind He didn't fight even say your name once But you know, it's one of those things where they go Gay people on console there you gay people have been working there for years and people that the public doesn't know all the comics

No, you don't give a fuck no, but nobody cares about gay people no wonder was gay and bring and bring in her partner And years before she talked about it. No, we are we all have the fucking straight comics at that table a gay Yeah, we're fucking half gay is help Dixon's about Bob comment A lot of hand here. Too much trouble for that. I've been warned again. Well, you know, your husband feels about hands. There's like anything big.

How come your fingers touch around his face? That's why I think he has a big dick. He can't chuck off. He should have glued it to his palm and moved up in that. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I just think that it's just maybe we're just getting old and it's done.

I think maybe this is what happens when we get older as you start hating. You're supposed to hate the younger people, because this way as we are in a way to die, we don't feel like we're gonna miss much. Is that it? It's part of it. That's why people owe people for technology

and the newer stuff. Ah, because you don't wanna see the great shit you're about to miss. Yeah, that's part of it. Maybe it is part of it. It's just hard. Like I tell you, I was telling you this weekend, the fight, I said.

Oh, but don't die before Mike Racine makes an album. Well, I mean, is that what you're fucking getting at? Who's Mike Racine? I honestly tried to think of like a young cop. Like, you know, I couldn't pick him out of a lineup. I've heard his name. I was down at the beginning of the show. I brought two young guys with me this weekend.

And the one guy that went up, he did a show, did great. And then it's a theater, I'm fucking sold out. And I brought these guys. Wow, what's place? It was only 20 people. it's a theater. I'm fucking sold out and I brought these guys. Wow, which place? Only 20 people okay small theater Black box theater Children during the day I read it out was the Texas theater Oswald jumped up and was a distraction. I started five calls But he's the host he goes up kills and then at the end of a set he goes all right guys Thank you so much. It's all my time. All right. We got a couple more guys on the show for you tonight

It's like dead. We're not fucking Brooklyn. What the fuck? There's not a I'm not one of the oh yes. Oh my god. This is he was the MC you're saying MC Yes, yes, yes. I have this fucking Blows away the you guys hanging in there. We got a couple more. It's me and Rich like Yes, they that's who they paid the fucking seed Rich caught me up and he's like dude the guy in the the feature act is selling candy bars. Oh, yes He had fucking

Candy bars with his face on. And he was on them. That was his great idea. Yeah, where did he have a maid? That's an awesome idea. I wish he was my feature. Yeah, fucking eat his whole stash. Yeah, come off stage and be fucking 200 in his bag.

Yeah. I'm selling quinoa. I'm doing shows. That's the way it's like in a week. It's, I was like, and then this is what fucking hurt me about your husband. He calls me up. He's like, guy, I call him back.

He left a message. I call him, I go, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? He's like, hang on one second. I go, what? He goes, hang on, he walks out. He goes, I had to go on the front lobby. He was in the green room with me.

I go, that's your green room. Tell him to beat it. Tell me you have to make a phone call. You just left your green room to trash him. Now, you're in the hallway cold. He's there comfortable with fucking feet up, drinking a fucking boss water. You moron.

Go kick that candy bar, will you walk a fuck face? Because he's the one who's always telling me that I have to like, he goes, you talk to him like they're your peers. They're not your peers. What? Look, you're not a person. Yes.

You're not just, yes. I asked the word, it was from all of them. Well, look. No, you don't have to treat him like shit. I mean, you treat him good, but fuck. If I gotta make a phone call, I'm sorry, guy. You gotta get out. I gotta make a phone call. And I'm not fucking going in a hallway.

Well, you know, it's like the green room is your room, the headliner's place. It's not a fucking comedy community room like it's a Tuesday. Can I get it? It's where you fucking sit as the headliner to relax before you go on and have to go up after all the horseshit, you have to go on after. Yeah. With the fucking guy selling candy bars and doing local horse shit,

whatever the fuck he was doing to get to that candy bar joke at the end. And then it's like, you gotta go up at the end, you're getting a cheque spot, they're fucking drunk, they've been, you get the, you, they fly comics in at this point to give them the shitiest spot of the night. I would like to know why they let the middle echo on so long.

How long does the middle go? Can I tell you why? The whole other time it's 30 minutes. Can I tell you why? Boos. Yeah. Tell them what you want to do. I know because I go short too.

I'm always like 45. I'm out. I used to do an hour, hour and 10. And now it's like, it's almost like they broke me because it's like, I don't wanna fuck, I gotta deal with this check spot. The check spot is so fucking mind-boggling that these clubs haven't figured out.

You don't need to do it. Just don't do it. You don't need to do it. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, after the show. Yeah, it's not like there's another show coming in in 10 minutes. I've actually said the clubs, can you not do a check spot? They're like, okay, and they don't do it do what I'm doing after the show. Yeah, it's not like there's another show coming in in 10 minutes. I've actually said the clubs can you not do a cheque spot?

They're like, okay, and they don't do it and everything's fine. Well, sometimes they'll do the cheque spot. Like, they'll start handing out cheques. You're like, I still have a fucking half hour. You know, you're like, wait, what's happening? You do 45 pretty much. Pretty much. Sometimes I do tricks like, I'll be like somebody in the eye,

somebody like, are you getting tired? Like the eye, so I'll be like, oh, you get tired? Like, even if they're not doing anything, then after I wrap it up, I say, they were getting tired. Have they ever complained you went short? No, but I mean, it's always a concern for me. Like, can I go? You're doing the time, yeah. Yeah, can I go now?

It's funny, I do an hour and it's like, it's like, I still worry like, can I feel like am I gonna run out? I always worry. I always panic. I've developed an OCD, can I go out? It's funny, I do an hour and it's like, I still worry like, can I feel like, am I gonna run out? I always worry. I've developed an OCD thing where I have to take my phone up and I have to look at my phone every 10 minutes. Or do I just tap on it? Just have it, what I do is I have someone's

trying to light on their face at 40. Like this, I know it'll be out there. Right, that's what I do. And then when you're in wrapping it up, you do an extra like 20 minutes or whatever, but it's sometimes Saying you're good nights is it but sometimes those people like a couple minutes late? You know what I mean? Well, they get caught up doing something and that couple minutes throws me down a spiral

They're having a clock on the stage where you can see it have a clock by the side I know I have my phone right on the touch it. I mean, I just a clock You can look over they can't see the clock. I can bring a clock a lot of the clubs that requires you were playing that club No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. Retail. God damn what a great club. Pop in Friday night, sat in night, two shows gone. The great crowds. Love them. Small little room. Fucking awesome. They've really kicked it up over there. Yeah, great. Great clubs. Yeah, it's weird. I don't think Checkspots. And I think that if we, as comics, we're like, look, enough with these fucking Checkspots. You're literally shitting. We're getting everybody to the point. You're the first guy going up doing all this horse shit, you know, blah, blah, blah.

The second guy goes up supposed to focus them for 20 minutes. Get them into jokes, not crowd work. Right. You guys drinking? I love this too. Oh, you got the joke bombs. I hate to see Bobby. He's coming soon.

Don't fucking mention my name. I used to do that. Please don't mention my fucking name. Look at that. I say that on headlining. You guys are waiting for the MC to come back up. Beelie. That's why I love theater gigs.

There's no fucking check spot. I did that Saturday night for James at the comedy shop. Oh, Ross is doing it in a couple of weeks. Out in Pennsylvania. Ross. Ross. Ross. I probably did.

I probably did. I'm a little tired. And I have had a pee for three hours. Yeah, unbelievable. But you can't do crowd work in the theater. Who cares? I mean, I go when I do as much crowd work as I can. I try not to do any.

I try not to do any. I try not to do it any. I, cause it's so easy to do. Well, I like to have that like cushion for time. Really? Yeah, I mean, you have 45 minutes. I know, but I get scared. I'm gonna forget a piece or something. You should, you know you should do,

cause I used to have the same problem. You should just go out one time, just do jokes and see how far you're getting. Yeah, just do it. And who gives a fuck? But also, I will say this, I don't go on the road every weekend. So then it becomes like Thursday night, you got to get back into doing that hour. Yeah.

And then, you know, there's a lot going into the road. They think you just go on the road and you're always trying to add new shit. Thursday night, you get to whale it out and see where you're at. Friday night first show, you're going to make sure that crowd's not fucking cool and not fucked up. Second show Friday usually stinks because they've been waiting around. They're tired. They drank saturday night first shows. Awesome. Second shows of fucking hit or miss. It's yeah.

And if you have a Sunday show, it's, but then you had a check spot into that. You're fucked in these clubs. Don't have to do it. Stop with the fucking check spot. Stop. You waitresses will just put a guy at the door, a stamp receipt to leave. One person at the door, you cannot leave unless I have a stamp receipt. Nobody from your party. Just bring the MC back on and fucking drop the check. Yes. Yes. Come back on. What is that is that logic literally fucking you

with 15 minutes to go 15 minutes ago right right and you work so hard to get them there right and you're well no but well I mean Richo gave me this tip or whatever because I was always going into my clothes are on the check spot I was like such a disappointment. Well that's that's all for me then. I was like, such a disappointment. Well, that's, that's all for me then. Well, I see you're doing something else right now, but good night. But he said, just talk through the check spot and then go into it. Yeah, but you shouldn't have to fucking in the middle.

Could you imagine what fucking other art form in a movie where they came in and just dropped the check. You missed fucking ten minutes of the movie because you had to do math well I I I now I feel like I've just Because they do do that in movies where you can order food. Yeah, but they don't do a check spot They just leave it and you can pay at the end right you can pay whenever the fucking one. Oh Fucking silly and you can pay at the end. You can pay whenever the fucking one. That's true. Oh, fucking silly. That's why I love these theaters.

I would love to just do one nighters. I'm not even theaters, just one nighters. Yeah, when I'm showing night, that's the goal, right? Fucking show. Is there anything better as a comic than to do one fucking show? Making a sick person feel better? Man, nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope. I'd rather see him sick on Saturday as long as I'm home by fucking 11, 11.05 on Friday. Yes. Yes. All right, check this out deepdiscount.com.

This is one of my favorites right here. We were supposed to do this one in the front, by the way, in the middle. It's all right. That was my fuck up, Gabs, not yours. I actually used this site all the time. I just, I bought a DVD player. I know that's kind of weird, right?

But I did it, and because number one I have a kid, but then I actually like these shows myself. I hate searching for these shows. Now I go to this site, scroll down a little bit, Gabs. Where is it? Where the hell is it? Where the fuck is it? Hang on, slow down, slow down, I don't know if Caps. Where is it? Where the hell is it? Where the fuck is it? Hang on, slow down, slow down. I don't know if I can. Where is it?

There it is right there. Dunkirk right there. I actually bought that and there's a bunch of other like weird movies that the wheels whales of August. What the fuck is that? American Gothic. American Gothic. Hmm. Anyways, I go here all the time. I love the site. I buy stuff off it. Blue Rays. I got a brand new Blue Ray DVD player and I love it.

I go to the site. I buy this stuff from my kid. There's so many kids stuff on here that you can't get it. You can't find it or it doesn't stream right. It's just stupid. I hate it. And I love going here, buying it, having it, whatever I want. Max loves put in the DVD, playing, taking another thing, deepdiscount.com. It's a loyal sponsor to my show. You guys have been great with them. So please support these guys. It's a great

site to find tons of stuff without spending a lot of money. Go see for yourself right now. Go to deepdiscount.com. Just click there logo on my home page at riotcast.com slash Robert Kelly and buy stuff this way, you know, just do that. So they know that I sent you. Use the, use the link on my website. That's that way they know that I sent you. My brain just fucking froze. I think my eye started quivering. I don't know on my website. That way they know that I sent you. My brain just fucking froze. I think my eye started quivering. I don't know what just happened. Did I have, I get a yeast.

I'm generous. I gotta have some type of tomato. I could just throw out some of that. I'm gonna stir a food to crave. I don't know what I really want. Some bull you best. What? What?

No. No. No. No. No. best. There's really no I said your 4k Ultra HD movies on sale right now at even lower prices. Batman, Spider-Man, Kingsman, Transformers and more. Yes, even logo, Lego Batman movie, which is one of the funniest movies out there. It's a kid movie. I can't fucking believe how funny that movie is. I've watched it like seven times.

I try to trick Max because if I say I want to watch it, he's like, I don't want to watch it. I want to watch Harry Potter. And I'm like, dude, Batman movies stinks. He's like, I want to watch it. I'm like, me too, motherfucker. I'm like, me too. I'm gonna trick you, you little mindless.

Parenting, what on what? Mindless for your old. I'm gonna see Dead Man don't wear a plaid. That's one of the ones. I did see that. That's a sea of blood and picture. That's where I let away. Lego Batman movie and ultra an ultra HD is on sale right now.

You know what I'm talking about? The movies you know you want to you know you want and you're going to watch over and over and over and over again. So just stop, stop searching, stop sitting through commercials or bad streaming. Is commercials mind-boggling? I can't do it anymore. Even when I DVR something, it's like, fuck, I gotta push that stupid button. It stinks.

Okay, so stop. Just go to deepdiscount.com and buy your favorites. Just do it. You can to deepdiscount.com and buy your favorites. Just do it. You can even buy new releases too. Out this week, Blade Runner 2049. Ryan Gosling hot. He is hot. I mean, what do you pick? Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds?

Ryan Gosling. Really? For sure. It's a tough one. Yeah. Six and one half a dozen of the other. Yeah. One can dance and it's funny and good looking. The other one is just funny and good looking. I used to say Ryan Gosling hands down, It's a tough one. Yeah. 6-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1- Get your car out and put it in your mouth! Blin runners, 2000 bucks, I'm Ryan Gosling and how's it going?

Get your own copy now for a really great price at deepdiscount.com. Just click the disc, deepdiscount logo. Download my homepage, ridegats.com slash Robert Kelly. Support my sponsors, be good to yourself. Buy your favorites, watch it when you want. Check it out now, thank you deepdiscount. Shit man, what a fucking show. So we're good, you guys are good.

Yes, I'm great as that. Of course, that was weird. Yeah, why would you do that? Because he looked so, but you might be tired. I am, I am exhausted. No, normally you'd be sleeping or something. No, no, I'm, I'm, we're in the afternoon, like crash man, I'm just scared.

So I love on it. Yeah, I, I, I. You need to get more lentils, I think, and you're done. I probably do. Can I talk to you about the benefits of a plant-based diet? I'd love to. I love to. I love to.

I'm, look at man, sometimes it's so funny too, is that one simple conversation or one little phone call We'll just clear the there's nothing because we know if only the world Well, but I think that it's just sort of I was talking radio And now what I don't know if you know what time it is, but it's times up Oh my god, I'm a bugger came out of my nose. Oh, I got it Oh my god, I have a bugger came out of my nose. Oh, I got it. I just swallowed it.

I just made Hagrid laugh. From, I think it's just like, Bonnie, you were saying. It's a little bit radio bits, right? Like, I didn't take it that seriously. I don't think you guys just take it that seriously. No, I mean, so you're talking, but it's also you also know that you have to wrap it up in a way that people want to hear it, too. Right. But yeah, no, I meant it like I was like, oh, I hope she has something I fucking in her fire. Like I would never know.

That's probably, but did I really say that? Well, yeah, you're like, I always thought they had something to do with it or something like that. But I was like, I for real, like I wouldn't want binding to think that I would ever spot like, especially as close as I have in the rich rich, I would never do anything to her just career or your career. Look at you though, you look like a platter. I am. What's the word, what's the word my father would call me?

A scheming cum dumpster. You are. That's how I think of you being your father. I'm just a big of you, it's a scheming cum dumpster. No. It's gross. So I know that there's a little bit of truth in all of it or whatever, but it's like not like, well, no, I'm just glad you don't think that because I don't think that we would never, because it's known you for years and years and years and years and years,

and we've never. Yeah. What is that? What is that? Why? Uh, I introduced it to Rich. Oh, man. Why do you, why do you make you cry? Do you remember that at that festival? Oh Jesus Christ. There was a group just over the first one. What happened? I don't remember. It sounded which festival. I went there with Richel,

it was before we got married. It was before I didn't really want to tell people yet. You know what I mean? What the fuck? I knew early. They just settled for less. I was like, we were on last time standing together. He's a bit of a cock block in the middle of me.

How did I make you cry? I don't know. You're sort of yelling at me at breakfast. We were all waiting. You don't remember any of this? No. You yelled at her? I, yes.

You, because I was like talking to the booker about why they chose to put whatever they chose to put the right up for me and I said, I just did Letterman. They should put that in there. And it wasn't like we were having an angry conversation. I was yelling at or anything. I was just saying that to her. And then you started yelling that Letterman was ridiculous and anybody who would want to be like, uh, I vaguely remember that. I don't know what he wanted. If he wanted it as your credit, you were the idiot and, you know, kind of like mean about me being from LA and stealing your boyfriend.

It's really, ha ha ha ha ha. But though, I vaguely remember that. But it was probably about something else not that. Like, meaning in my own house, probably not about something else. Yeah, you know, but we got over that super fast.

Yeah, yeah. Apparently not, you brought it up again. I mean, I think about it every night as I go to sleep. But we all do stuff to each other that sometimes you do something and you're mad and it just goes away. You're like, you next time you see him, me and you have gotten a fight over the years. Yeah, that's fine. You know, and look, yeah.

Okay, say it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Kim, I am sorry. Oh, but it's just, you know, we, as you grow, as you get old, as your life changes and becomes different. And we've all been friends for almost 20 years. Yeah. And it's good. All it is is a phone call. I mean, a fucking phone call to say, hey, I fucked you, you piss me off. Are you fucking me? I called Jim recently about something. I was like, hey, man, blah, blah. And he was like, fucking dude, I'm so, and it's just, it's over. It's done. And you know, it's almost like we have so much more shit in our lives that we have to take to the pillow at night. The last thing we face. I will be you, it's different. I have to sleep.

I have to sit up like the elephant man. I have to sit and reflux your fucking stomach. That's awful. I love the elephant man. It's so great that when he takes the pillow away, tries to sleep normal and he dies What do you get stupid Put your shitty fucking your little thing you're making through one good hand Do you wear a sleep apnea? Oh, no, I don't know. It's gonna figure it out

I went I have one, but I can't wear it because I'm too close to a fold I have to get I thought you were gonna get there No, I can't wear it man. It's so uncomfortable. I gotta get my sinuses done again. They have a brand new one I can't wear anything. They make me it's hard to breathe. You've to get them done again Yeah, I think so. I was supposed to get mine done and then I went in and I had a fucking hernia I got a belly button one. So it's not the bad one. It's like the most How do you get a hernia? So then I was gonna get that done. How? Look at me You fucking stomach,

your intestines get pushed out by the fucking roast beef sandwich you just ate. Oh my God. No, this is not what happened. Anyways, and that was gonna get that fixed. And they were like, you have a swollen spleen. Oh my God. So my spleen's swollen.

Then they found out that out of fatty liver. Wait, what does the spleen do? It's nothing. Well, it does, it does some certain things. We should get Dr. Steven, they will all spleen swell and then they found out that out of fatty liver wait. What does the spleen do? Nothing well it does it does some certain things we should get Dr. Steve on the Walls clean not one is that bad right Get the new show my stit under pound spleen Has no girlfriend That just jerks off bad mouth me on Twitter So anyways, I gotta I gotta get my nose fixed too. I gotta get a,

we'll let you're spleen. I gotta get that fucking, well I'm trying to, to it I was so good three weeks before the Fallen show. I was salad twice a day and not eating past eight, oh nine o'clock at night until 10, 12 the next day. Wow. So I lost all this play.

Oh, yeah, you were doing that. I felt so fucking great. I remember feeling like hungry, but thin. Like I felt like tight. You know what I mean? In the morning, like I hadn't felt in the while. And then Christmas, Christmas came and I fucking, it's so funny how you go off the rails so fast so quick

Yeah, and then I can't I had a salad today. It was I had to force it down. Yeah, I was loving salads I thought I wanted was a salad just vegetables and then it was fucking then you go off it You have a pizza and you have cakes and you have all the good Don't Dressing on the side you dip that Joker. Oh, we we off salads? Yeah, don made fucking O'Grott and potatoes She got creamy fucking potato links cut them up and then cheese them and then bake them in the oven She asked her not to huh say not ask her not to maybe for the wildest I fucking put a gun door head and made her do it Well Max is gonna have no mom and a fat dad with one foot.

All right, well listen, I'm glad we worked this out. I didn't, you know, whatever. It's awesome. I love you guys. You guys, I'm so glad you came on. You haven't been on a long time. You have neither one of you. Yeah, I was sorry I was late man.

I had to flood my apartment last week. So I've been doing distilling with that. How do you have a flood? you live on the 23rd floor? That much come. It's incredible. I know. It's incredible. You're not trying to drink up a flood.

It was that. You're not supposed to have two people come in the shower at once. There was no, I was in my bed. It was like 2'30 in the morning, I heard like, boom! And it was just pipersed. So I had a fucking, I'm glad I was home. If I was home, I'm home. Everything.

Yeah, but I have to have my bedroom floor and my office floor completely redone, I think. It sure is. It sure is a cover, but it's just an inconvenience because I have to move out of my fucking bedroom and, ugh, it's gonna smell like a, like a Cape Cod. No, I got it out pretty fast, but the wood is gonna warp it a little bit. Yeah, you got it done. Yeah, get it done. Well, I'm glad you came on, buddy. What do you got, Norton? We got his website up. When's this airing? Huh? When is this air? No, she's live stream right now. You got it? Oh, okay. When is it? Look at fucking Gabby.

These two fucking don't fuck around. I just doubted you. So the 19 thing, if I'm not for a good one. Look at fucking Gabby. These two fucking don't fuck around. I just doubted you. So the 19 thing, if I'm not for a little bit. What do you got? Let's look at these right now. We got St. Louis, the pageant theater, the 19th, the 20th Lawrence Kansas City Liberty Hall. What is that?

Warren? Yeah, I really wish we'd done mine first. What's that? I know. I wish I'd get mine first. I don't want to follow you. No, I just got them. I don't know how one side. Funny bone.

Walking nine days. Grand Rapids and I get the comedy work. So I got Red Bank and Count Basie. Fucking comedy work. Such a great club. I love that club. She won't work me anymore though. It's so weird.

Oh, that's sick. Yeah, it's so weird. It has that. It's great. Paramount's great. Follow you with Vancouver. I'm doing a time in Van Coover. I got blown in an alley in Van Coover in 1990 by two hookers for 80 bucks.

And then the third I'm flying to Salt Lake City for one night. Van Coover is one of my favorite cities in the world. Third Hooker. That's gonna happen. I thought it was that. So go to JimNorton.com, great website. It's a great homepage.

Yeah, he's got a great, I got a bunch of, it was Collins idea. He goes, you want to get things so I made all these, I used all these Sabbath album covers and put my face on them. It's great. How do you go? I'll look at you when you were chubby. You look.

I know, right? It's crazy. I love that. That's great. What do you got? What do you got? Abani. On Friday, I'm at the Philly Comedy Club.

What's that? Which I don't know. Which one? Where is that? It's called the Philly Comedy Club. Where is it? I don't know where it is. I know it's in Philly.

I'm gonna bet it's in Philly. What is this? Do you have a website? I don't have a website. What? I married Rich and I thought things would just take care of them. So, all right. Well, it was I wrong. Well, you trying to poison him and it just didn't work. All right. So we got body. Yeah. So I met, but I'm at the Philly comic club.

You can Google it on the Friday, July 7 and 9. One of the funniest people in the world. Yes. I get a bonus if the world. Yes, bonus if the if the What if they sell out so we have some confidence with you. Yeah, you should sell out your hilarious filly fans We got a lot of filly fans so don't you because your podcast my wife hates me is one of the most original Funny love with it mother fucking podcasts on the planet earth I don't know why somebody's not doing a reality show about it. A lightly scripted fucking show. And you're doing a live one in the village area. Oh my god. Yeah, coming up. March 10th. Oh, March 10th. Is that right? March 10th. March 10th. It will be a show soon. I was showing Friday and then again on March 10th. I'm doing

very well. I mean, my loss is out there fucking 360. I know. I'm working on Wednesday. I picked up a gig on Tuesday. I haven't seen my daughter since fucking seven Wednesdays ago. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, I was, they came up with some good ones.

They came up with the idea for Chip too. They just said, you want to do it like, yeah, Bobby's come up to the creative stuff. Dr. Steve. That's why I tell you, I'm very proud of this network. I know there's a lot of networks out there right now, but a lot of networks are the same thing. This network has a, I mean, your show, your show.

Right, I seriously. There's so many diverse. Now we have Bailey, Jay and her husband. We have, we have, you know, is Nick on this network? Nick is, Nick, really, he's on serious now, but that his original show is still on our network too. We get one a week from him.

If you go to riotcast.com, it's fucking, but this show, this, my wife hates me. I don't give a fuck who you are. If you don't think, listen to, be in a fly on the wall to a comedy couple as funny as you two crazy motherfuckers, it's so, I listen to the show and you guys fight and then you I don't know if you're mad If you're not mad and if you really you I hate for him sometimes is so real But you always want to him to show I don't even know if you want to do it sometimes No, and he's just like we gotta do it Do you feel money?

You don't film it all right. We don't film it. We're we're I don't know it's you're gonna film the live one Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's our because we're gonna because now with the patreon thing We gotta do stuff. Well, they got a new patreon. Let me go to that right now if you go to the patreon Support yeah, do you know where it is at gap? No, that's hard to make money from my predecessor. Well, they're actually, I'm moving a Patreon too. And they're at Patreon right now. You can go to this show and they have different levels. Can you just go back to this site right there?

Where is the Patreon? Why is it like that? No, there's Amazon. There's Amazon. Fix that hype. Just stand there. We're gonna fix the hype alert. I guarantee it's on Rich's homepage.

He's collecting all the money. There is, there is. Buying rings with it. If you go to that Amazon page, it goes to Diamond Pinky Rich. I know. Fuck it, asshole. I keep.

Where is it? What did you say? So see, there's four levels, but I can't remember them all, but the last two levels are send rain in a college, and then the very last level is send Rich to college. So how much is that? $100 a month. $100 a month. The send Rich into college and then the very last level is send rich to college. How much is that? $100 a month.

$100 a month. The send rich to college. Make me so happy if we did it. We raised enough money, would we send them back to college? You know what I would like to do is make him work one day at a like a service job, like a customer service job. Like a McDonald's. Yes, because he's never had to do it in his whole life.

And he's so mean to everyone. You'd be great. You know, he's never been a wait, waiter or anything. You want to stand at how funny your TV show would be if he had fucking dummy, you have to work at a Starbucks. Don't what you say? Writing names on my God. How do you spell my diato? names on my god. How do you spell my diato? Oh my god. You two, it's, Marka Maa. He'd walk in telling them how to do the job.

I got my ring on your latte. I love it. Mike has two or three of show. This is how every show starts if you want to quit. What does this click it? Make it big. Be sure to ritual it. Make it big. What up? Po-Fah. Shut your fucking face. Testing one, whole phone. Two, three. This time what? Testing one, two, three. You're not going to do what this time.

The, this is like how what does it say on the paper? Now I ask you to test into the mic. No, it doesn't say it on the paper. Is it possible that you cannot start the podcast without those pieces of paper? I can start them. I just use them as a backup. No, every time you open it up and you're like, oh, there's nothing here. What's happening? What's going on?

Those hands are too big. I saw true. There's one time. There's something happened, one time. And I fixed it, you know? So it's all taken care of. The podcast is going right now. We're doing it right now. Can you tell?

I'm gonna record you Starting the podcast next time and put it up somewhere Something seems wrong here, but Go ahead talk loud. I'm speaking as loud as I can Coming out. Oh my god. Do you see what you're you're arguing my point for me by what you're doing? It seems like it's going, but the monitor for the sound, the waves, the lines, we have them going higher than usual. It's hot.

Why would you tell me to speak up if that's what's happening? Now it's back down to normal. Can you talk lower? Here, let me do it right now. I'm talking low. Okay, yeah, see, there you go. This is all I'm concerned, kind of. What?

We walk around, like, I have a 199 IQ. 199? I, 199, my head would explode. No, wait, there's people with over 200 IQs. All right. They're around. They exist Why is that not a show? So that guy does he animates our podcast Shia not a fat sack who's great? You should I'm animated and then put it behind the page Patre that's so that's on the patreon. Oh that is yeah, well It's on the fucking YouTube right now, but there's like six of them

I all right, so go to the fucking YouTube right now. But there's like six of them or something. That's the picture. All right, so go to that Patreon, make sure you support them. Look, this is how we do these podcasts for a long time. You guys have been doing your art for a long time. And that's how you support it. We can make money off of this. So we can keep doing them and we can say no to shit gigs and do what will you put behind the wall of the podcast?

You put behind the wall of what you put up is that you could do interviews, you could do, you do levels. So the regular people just get the podcast, right? You might get it earlier. You get it the night it comes out, or three days before everybody else. So for five dollars a month.

Oh, my God. Five dollars a month, you can get the marketing tips. You can get, before anybody else, you get the show. Now, if you do $10 a month, you'll get an extra little, maybe a chip interview for somebody, or a chip word of advice once a week. And then you'll say their name on it, you know, like day, I wanna, and then for $25 or $50 a month,

you could, instead of saying, you could dedicate the show. 50 a month. You can spend it. People do that. People, on, believe it or not, not for us, but I've heard. They will. They will, if you have something to value, 50 a month. Do as well. People do that. People. Unbelief. Not for us, but I've heard. They will. They will.

If you have something of value, if you hit Voss with a frying pan for every 50 dollars. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Just here fucking dang me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I'll pay 50. Oh my God. I just made me realize, yes, you can have him like if you pay pay 50 years a month, he will say I am wrong at some point. Yes. I have. Yes. Never have. But they will do it because you get,

you know, look, man, people love supporting you. People will give you that money. And they will support you. And many people who can do five will do five. People can't do any will, well, the podcast will still be free. No, break in. You still get, no.

You still get the podcast for not having that. So I like the video being free too. I like the podcast. still be free. You still get the podcast for not being free. I like the video being free too. I like the podcast video. You can give it to him early though. So here's five dollars, you get it before everybody else. You get three days before everybody else. But that money goes back into the show. That money goes back into you doing it.

You can actually, you know, that's why we're trying to get money off the stuff. So make sure you support their, their Patreon. You still do ads too, right? Hey, you can do ads. You got, look, we're creating shit for nothing. We should, you should make some money. The audience has been raping us for years.

That's how I feel. So. So anyways, what do you got, Gab? This Wednesday, I'm hosting SketchBlock at Understant Marks Theater. And then Friday, I'm at Art of Joke Pizza and Bushwick. Just eating. That's alright. I'm doing comedy. You're doing comedy. Okay. What do you got Mikey? The Thursday I'll be at Millennium fandom and Las Vegas doing some type of show at a comic store. They're paying me to be there. And then I'll be at Lafayette

Lounge in Antonio. Headlining for one night on the 18th. All right. Can you smile? What do you got Bobby? Let's go to me right now really quick. Before you guys hang up, we have one more big announcement at the end. So don't hang up. I have a fat boy pussycat. Fat boy pussycat. When, this Wednesday?

Wednesday. 17. Yeah. You guys already come down to your spot? Dirty clean. Yeah. You're a dirty clean. What do you want to do, dirty or clean?

I don't know. I'll do clean. Clean. Jim, you want to come down and do a clean? Um, I don't know, I'll do clean. Clean. Do you ever want to come down and do a set? No, I don't. Hey, do you ever want to do a set? No. T-T. T-T.

You have a spot right before it. Oh, all right, yeah. I'll do dirty. Do you have 10 minutes? Not to clean. You'll do clean? Is everybody doing clean? No.

I thought that would be the harder choice. That's why. No, it's actually not. It's easier. It's when you have a choice, it's harder to be dirty because if it doesn't fly, it's just being dirty. Right. You're being clean.

Who cares? People love dirty. I don't know. I have no idea. Funny bone hard for January 19th, 20th. And then the 26th, 27th, the 26th, I'm at Chicago, the laugh factory, 27th McGuire's Bohemia, back at the fat black pussy cat, and then I'm at Mugubi's.

Mugubis. I'm all over the place. Go to robacadolive.com. Zach, what do you got besides a dead finger? Have you seen this finger? Yeah, you got to see it. He lost his finger. Oh my god. Please don't lose. Go to the hospital.

It's not infected. It's what it's fine. Put some neospor not on it. He'll be all right. What did you just say? Nothing. It's Godfather. Oh, I want to thank the fans, the cute couple that came in from fucking the yellow brick road. Take your hats off your fucking- I know they're sitting here, you're bums up the whole time.

You guys have bundled up. Like, I'm so cute. You got a adorable couple. You really are. How long have you been married? No, I'm married. You're not married just a couple?

Five years. Five years? You're a fan of the show? Love it. You do. Oh great. Oh good man. Well thanks for coming in, man. I do give her a microphone. Yeah, we've got a medical expert in the

Yeah, what do you do? Are you a nurse? Oh, no, I do lab research. Yes Yeah, what's up? We've been looking for a fatty liver Please tell me for a fatty liver. It was very much. No, this means important for your lymphatic system. Anytime you have like an infection, like your immune cells would go there. It's like a hub, so they'll like come together and they'll fight you. But you can have your spleen taken out. You can live without a spleen.

You can live without a spleen. I think you can. I know people without spleen go without a spleen. Love a lizard is like, yeah. You're fine. No, I know. Listen, a pixie voice. Yeah, we can get it. I know people without playing. Yeah, you get it without us. I love, love Liz is like, yeah, we can't find it. No, I know. You can do it. Listen, a Pixie voice. Yeah, we can do it.

It's wrapped this up. I got three Mexicans downstairs with a case of Bud Light. Literally. Uh-uh. I know about this. And this concludes this episode of Laughter Court. No. No, it's, you know what, you know what, actually,

I think you're the one in the promo, at the beginning of the show that says, you know what, that, I think you're the one in the promo the beginning of the show that says you know what that that you always doing it I'm like so you can bring us out right now ready all right you guys have been listening to this shit See you guys next week you know what I made you listen to my date, you cock suckers! Ah! Check out riotcast.com For all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Try it. Try it. Try it. Try it.

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