Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Two Lesbians on the Couch

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

Robert is joined by Adrienne Iapulucci, Joe Machi, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Andrew Schulz and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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En la RiotCast Network. RiotCast.com. ¡Ah, vamos a ver me hear you again, John. John, okay, John, right? You guys are just having... John Mackie, right? That's Johnny Mackie. That's Johnny Mack. That is not my name, right?

What's your name, dude? It's Joe Mackie. Joe, do me a favor, Joe. Joe, put your... You hear how low you are? Oh, yeah. You're gonna eat this thing. Oh, let me hear you.

Is this sound? That sounds better, right? That sounds pretty good. All right, cool. Yeah, you get a little low Oh, let me hear you. Uh, it's a sound. How's that? That sounds better. Yeah, it sounds pretty good All right. Cool. Yeah, you get a little love voice. Let me hear you Oh Hey boys Louis J Gomez the host of why can't you be podcast? Yeah, hello everybody. Uh, this is Joe. This is your clear winner of the co-host. Host, whatever guest host. Why don't we closing voting?

I don't like the fact that Joe is probably winning right now. And I have to do something a little more creative. I have to put a YouTube campaign together. Or could it be that just Tuesday's with stories has as many followers and listeners that we all thought was a big old Joe. Oh! We all thought it was a big old Joe.

You're beating me by like 21 votes, Joe. Yeah, you had fucking 10 million listeners. Well, if you combine listeners to his 11 podcasts, it might equal my one podcast. That is true. He is on 11 podcasts. Can I really have a podcast sluttbag? Yeah, well, when you can't write a joke, I mean, is it laughing? No, he's not a salmon joke is Joe. Oh, damn it. What? God damn it. What's the third? What does that mean? I don't know.'s not a salmon joke is Joe. Oh damn it. What God damn it?

What's the firm? What does that mean? I don't know. It was a Joe thing to say Usually a Joe thing to say is hilarious. Yeah, usually. Yeah, I like cocky Joe. There is pop. Why there is pop What is it for me right? I think so it might be your shitty new mind is it just a loose Quarter thing somewhere Might be your shitty new is it just a loose uh quarter thing somewhere I don't want to Test me once you have that six thirty by the way. I don't give a shit out. Is it is it popping still? Didn't just now hey Did I pop it all no you're not popping what you don't even have fucking headphones and dude

I can hear it. What? You don't even have fucking headphones then, dude? That's weird. Scopo, are we ready to go with the bathroom? Oh, yeah, I said the good. Okay. Otterswater in the business. Testing, one, two, testing.

This microphone is really pissing me off. Hi, I'm the NunaWing. Really pissing me off. It's like a, it's like a, it's on fucking governor or something. Yeah? Governor. Controls it. Posing me off. It's like a it's your own fucking governor or something Yeah, governor it Controls it It has its own city comptroller hey, we should have been in the rubah together. What are we doing? You're an asshole. That's what we do. I'm not an asshole. Why wouldn't he go? Why wouldn't you go with me? You know what happened to no

He asked me to go the week that you're going but I thought I was gonna be on vacation Well, you're going 25 to 30 what the fuck is a ruby is vacation? You couldn't have went with me. They could have brought you chick. I think you secretly didn't want to Who did that nightmare? I Think you didn't want me there because you wife and your baby I think his baby didn't want you there his baby love. No, your baby loves me He's maybe fucking my baby likes you But my baby has self-em is in a people pleaser like that Puerto Rican fucking scorpion that he has that baby l o l

like that that was pretty good actually you look too sexy to be on a podcast what are we doing why don't we start fight up we don't need we don't need to do it I've been recording for fucking ten minutes we got really the rattlesnake Gomez we got a finalist possibly the winner of last comic standing nobody knows about him and uh... you got the fucking truth about to coo or guest host next week and you're pretty good ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha very good chance that the goldmites will speak and the Puerto Rican rattlesnake viper will sting you list of maniacs are running wild and the list nerds are also running wild i have two groups you have what what are they called

the the formally the list of maniacs with thinking about changing it to list nerds some guy had that idea list nerds tell me you're recording this i have a i got it This is classic. I got it.

This is classic. Alright, we're gonna come back in two seconds. I don't want anyone to hear that part though where I just called that joke classic. I did that. What is that noise? The edit clip. How come we're not doing the losing weight anymore? You look terrific.

Wait. One more time. Bobby Kelly is losing weight anymore. You look terrific. Wait. One more time. Bobby Kelly is losing weight. All right, we'll be back with everybody else. Andrew Schultz is coming. We also have... Mr. GuyCourt himself.

Adrian, you take Joe to GuyCourt for his disrespect on Facebook. Adrian Apalucci will be right back with more YKWD after this intro theme song. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. You're the rubber-killing, you're the rubber-killing. You know what? You know what dude! It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. But I love doing it. Why you cast the hook? I'm sorry. Go!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go space would you? This is what I like already. No women. Yeah. Bitches, bro. All dudes all the time. They are dumb. Listen, that's not true.

We actually have a woman coming. I don't know where she is. Adrian Apaluci was supposed to be here. Scope out. She just got off the train. She's walking over now. All right. Okay. I mean you were here on time, Lewis. I'm a see your half an hour early. Joe you were here. I was here 14 minutes. Shilts. You're fucking here. You're here. Wait on time. Yeah. Adrian you showed up. I made a two Adrian into the mic. You fucking asshole. We have boy. Mike's a girl Adrian. He thinks we're on a bus. I'm not sure which say. I made it. All right, first of all, I want to introduce everybody. We have to my left, we have his name is Joe Mackie. Joe Mackie. Hey, you are right now on, on last comic standing. Right.

We're down to the top 10. is this you I'm dealing with right now Oh, yeah, everyone thinks I'm not a real person, but they are wrong. I am a real person Nothing it's a it's rather hurtful. No, I don't mean to be hurtful. You're not hurtful No, I don't mean to be hurtful. You understand that's a unique way of speaking You're yeah, you're I don't have a deep voice that Mike Adrian put that on his mouth like tilt it a little bit You know you know get it on sorry about that. No, it's okay. It's just like I feel like I'm leaning too far back No, yeah, no stick it up for you know get comfortable, but it's got to be like that okay Joe Maggie always some like he's cold now you don't have to hold it, but no, I'm not perfect Joey

Joe can I call you Joey? Oh, what if you call me whatever you want all right you fucking ass Joey Joe listen you you're you call me whatever you want. All right, you fucking ass. Well, I'm kidding. That was uncalled for you, sir. Joey, Joey, listen, you're just, you are unique. I mean, I don't think it's bad. I think it's kind of cool. I like your personality, but it is very Christmassy. Oh, well, thank you, I bet. That's great.

You know, it feels like everyone could be, yeah, defined as a holiday. Yeah, Christmas. Yeah, you'd be Christmas. You're St. Paddy's day. You're Halloween. I Would say I would say you'd be Valentine's Day, Shiloh, see and you know, you'd be president's day Because of that face you look like most of the president's You'd be nine fathers day

three nine fathers day. Hey, you're a bomb in there, there we go. I thought it was all right. Joe, just in case, so we don't get no fight later, that is a bomb in there. And if you throw to stinker, which I don't think you will. Oh, it can happen. Oh, you're the Easter because you're a big egg. You're a big egg.

You know what, first of all, you raised your hand and you didn't wait, okay? So I should fucking put you in the other room. It was a fucking pearl. I could, I decided for the good of you in the other room. It was a fucking pearl. I decided for the good show. Like when you get on your neck, I'm, all right, I'll take that.

I'll take that right away. I just want Joe to know how this works. Folks, everyone tune in next week when I will be, yes, first thing. That's not true, that's not in yet. It's not in yet. Chris Gopo just tweeted, hey guys, we're on live stream, right now.

With no link to the new stream. That going on. There's no link right now By the way, you know you just got Chris go up a punched in the kidney later He deserves it. He's gonna get hit now He does deserve it When my mom used to hit me she's running grab the belt for her He was used to So when my mom's get mad my sister would would run to the room and grab the studded metal belt to give her as she started getting heated.

So she'd beat me with that. You just gave him a metal belt. I did it. But he was with it. Yeah. I think, can I just say something? No. I think we got it on the first try on that joke.

I think we, it was my own joke. It was my own joke. Joe, what do you think? I think we got it the first time. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. I think that Lewis is in desperation mode because he's getting outvoted for guest hosts. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what. Sure. Bobby fucked up saying I'm going to Aruba and then he played it off. Like this is a quick Bobby is because he went I'm going to Ooba but he fucked up the

words I'm going. So then he played it like he was joking and saying it in a funny way. He mumbled and then saved himself. Let me ask you a question. Are you going to do that with every joke on the show? Are you going to let the listeners have any responsibility? I'm sure the guy listening would have went, oh the fuck good idea, just fucking,

first of all, I don't even know if I did that. I don't think you did. I don't think I did. I just laughed because he said dobo and it's like a little car horn. That's the way his father would say it on his deathbed. Oh, sorry, I got this, that was bad. All right, I'll follow him.

I'll follow him. He wasn't on the deathbed, he was a death sidewalk. I'm gonna get a death parking lot. With a sidewalk, but not as funny. Well, that with a death left of us on. All right, too far. All right. So then we got we got this competition next week. I'm out of town because I'm in Daruba.

Yeah. And, uh, and, um, uh, you can vote right now. Uh, who you want to guest host, Dan Soda, Joe List, Lewis J Gomez. Realized to be a Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Howard Sennhe, MMA radio, Lewis J Gomez. You hear that hosting? Joe, the truth, home of host of Tuesdays with stories. Yeah, I don't know if you can even say his own moniker.

Yeah, you know what? Because I don't have to, because I'm doing fucking jokes most of the time. Yeah, well, you know what, we don't need your host. You're all joking. We don't need hosts doing jokes all the time. We need a host to steer the ship, come up with topics, come up with interesting guests. Well, if that's the, if that's the fucking...

12 minute, this is boring, you guys don't like me. Let's leave. Let's go now, podcast. That's the correct one. Wow. Someone is not doing jokes. Then you get my votes, sir. I'm sir. Haha, what is this?

I told you, like, the old presidents. Uh-huh. So here's the deal. And we got, don't forget Kelly Fistuka and Dan I'm sir. What is this? I told you a likelihood of the old presidents So here's a deal and we got don't don't forget Kelly Fistuka and Dan and Chris Scopo 740 votes of our Christopos guys zero there she is Comes the real we had we had Adrian Hand a male Adrian sitting in for you keeping your seat warm both very pretty by the way Yeah, Adrian's here. Say hi to everybody. Adrian camera god damn it. Hi right there. You're right there So I don't know not him that camera right there camera right in front of you. Oh, gross I don't want to be right there. Yeah, yeah, too bad. You look good. You look great. Thank you. You lost some weight right?

Yeah, you know, let me lost some weight, right? Yeah. You got to be fucking if you guys set me up and she didn't. She gained 30 pounds. Yeah, I was waiting. I started crying. Well, Lewis has. You looked at me, maybe look like an asshole. I would like to say this really before we get into this podcast.

No, not the podcast. The actual, no, not the show. I'm going to finish my sentence now. I want to say I Want to I want to say that already for qua actually is talking He's doing well your piece of shit. Why am I a piece of shit? Joe Mackie came in and Joe Mackie everybody Joe Mackie everybody is already going over his time and

That's where worse than the joke that I made good news the nurses told him to shut up Yeah, I said Joe Mackie was stealing already for Quas jokes in hopes that he wasn't gonna make it and then Bobby said terrible joke He was like dude. Why would you do that man? It's just a terrible. No, but here's what you did You fucked with me and you lied to me. You said dude. There's new news man. It's fucking worse He got worse because I heard that he got better. Yeah, it was way better No, I said can we reenact it? Yeah, go ahead do the joke. So we need action What did you shoot to you're in the business say action for us be the director? three

I don't think they do I don't think they do three two one Oh, we don't do what's weird yesterday. No, they don't do that in They still do three two one. Oh, we don't do what's range world yesterday. No, they don't do that in in in. And they still do three to one. Alright, guys, one, you know, when you're on TV, it is the only one of us that's ever been on TV. Besides Joe Mackey. Okay, and all of us, except for Lewis Lewis. The only one that hasn't. I've been on television. Yeah, in the background, TV's got them comedy live. It doesn't matter if the station is four digits long. Maybe he's got them comedy live. It doesn't count if the station is four digits long. What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hey Louis how are you my good friend? Hey what's going on Joe you fucking this way stop cut this is you this is you Yes, I fucking love you. How do you not love this kid?

I was even I was you not around all the time I made a lot of enemies in the business. Did you really? Maybe no no I'm from Pennsylvania. Stop it. They college Pennsylvania home with a new lion's go Penn State Why the he hasn't not smiled since he's been in this room dude He was one of the kids from the send us. No, I was not good sir. You know the lesson. No, I did not his man is a shardless He had a diesel He had a deep voice before send us keep put his fingers, but and now he talks like this put his fingers but and now he talks like this. That was kind of funny. You know what was funny is this conksick

I'm rocking with confidence. All right, so let's go. I'm sorry. Here we go. Here we go. So no, you said to him that like why? Can I say action? God, go.

Thank you. Ready? Taking control, director. Welcome. Action. Hey, Lewis, have you heard anything about Ardea? Hope he's doing better. Yeah, you're not hoping he's doing better

You're hoping he dies. He can keep on seeing on his jokes You know what though? You're a fucking idiot. You really are what you're a fucking idiot. What no? He's doing better I heard yesterday that he was doing this is your fucking problem is you haven't you you don't even listen Okay, cuz he's not doing better. I mean he's not doing. Yes today. He was doing better. What yeah? What do you mean? Today is doing worse. You know what you fucking say shit. You take it too far That's your problem. What do you mean? That's your problem? I knew that he was doing better That's your problem. I love already. I love him too And if you loved him you wouldn't make fucking jokes about him. I do you doing worse for real? Oh God You're just got here. Give me a great show. What happened?

I don't I don't understand how I made Lewis a better actor. Because without me at the beginning, he was like, hey man, how are you? And then I started going, you became a push in the pole, dude. You know that. You know that. Fuckin' queer. So, but then he made me feel bad.

And he said, already was doing worse at something. I did not say that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I can lie on my podcast. I fucking this is my show But already is doing Listen, Tracy's doing good. Tracy's assistant's doing good. They're in rehab and already

Spoke yesterday So and here's the thing all the people that donated To that was actually Amy Schumer put that together with the comedy seller put together a fundraiser and A lot of people donated the goal was 40,000, and some, look, I don't know if you guys saw it, but I posted this thing on Facebook about a lot of people were like, well, look, Walmart's gonna pay for Adi, they're gonna give him money, why should we give him money now?

Wait, somebody said that? A lot of, listen, and some people were asking the question. They weren't being dick, some were being dicks decks but one guy asked the question Keith Robinson no it's it's a normal it's a normal question uh the buddy of mine's house burned down his mom's house burned down and there was this big kickstarter for us and and even I was thinking I was like well he's got insurance right what we're gonna buy a new house and then the insurance is gonna buy them in another house. Like why, why are we giving this kind of money? Two houses, bitch.

I love it, great idea. But I think it's nice of that sounds. I think what it is is you still got bills to pay. You still got right. Well, here's the thing, you're not gonna make the money from Walmart right away. It's gonna take a long, long time to make that money. And you guys know that, you know, as a comic,

we don't have a union, we don't have health insurance. Right. And, you know, when you can't go and do your gig, you're not making money. Exactly. So, this money was to help him survive until his money came in. Yeah. And then we're looking, you could have gave a dollar, you could have gave five dollars, you can give ten thousand dollars. Whatever the fuck you can give. You can still give, right? Yeah, it's 40,000 people could have gave a dollar and that's forty thousand do they have a dollar you give a homeless person a fucking dollar you you lose a dollar in change every person lester dancing or singing i will not give them a if every person

he took a picture with outside the comedy seller just donates a dollar he will make three million dollars for this fund and that's will be totally right. That's absolutely, it's, every white pussy that he's had that giant black cock inside of just donated 30 cents, he would have about $14. I love that you took his funny joke.

Yeah. Television clean. No monologio. Yeah, I'm a real literally. You let him, I'm Mackey, here I come. My clean material. Oh, you literally, you made it into an access live joke.

Yeah, Puerto Rico, where else make it up? I put my fangs in, the venom, and just float through that joke, and came out on the other end. What'd you say, Joe? I said, list of maniacs. I like that list, nurse. Yeah. I like listeners better.

I like listeners. Yeah, well, they're better than blowmites. I'll tell you that Oh go much you know What the fuck is it just flew in the Wings yes, I hate both I hate both of your fans The sad part is they're my fans both of those fans Yeah, so he's doing good, which I'm very happy to hear well. I was very so they're all doing well Bobby I think good no doing good means they're out fucking volunteering who the fuck are you? How do you know Joe list home of the list the maniacs? How do you know what good a well?

What what fucking went to high school you dodo what they can't be doing good? Louis so he so Tracy's not doing good means they're doing good things. They're doing well. He is doing good things. He's making people laugh, Joe. Something so small-minded. Yes, today, the first thing he said made someone laugh. Probably. Yeah, he did.

He probably said work. All right, then he's doing good. The girlfriend said, I'll be back in him. He goes, I heard you. That's not funny. So Louis busting balls out of a second out of a coma. Well, I didn't hear the dialogue. He is doing good.

That was good. So anyways, we're moving on from that. So Joe, Mackie, are you still filming this last comic standing? Are you talking about it? I'm not allowed to talk much about it because we had to sign this contract for, you know, I could get sued for a lot of money if I revealed something. Let's see. We'll do a kicker.

Let's see if that's true. Let's see if that's true. But yeah so we are on the top 10 now and then we're starting to really look like from there. Adrian is the best ventriloquist ever. Let's drink it water while they're starting. That's sir. He is offensive. And you want me to apologize. It's very sorry Joe. Can we talk about kick starters for a second? Drinking water while you're still good. That sir is offensive. You want me to apologize.

Very sorry Joe. Can we talk about kick starters for a second? Yeah, it is very easy to ask strangers for money. Yeah, that's a lot of it. There was a time where you didn't just ask people for money. I remember I learned my lesson when I was like nine. I was outside of the arcade asking adults for money. Like, hey, can I borrow a quarter or a quarter?

Every time I hear your past, I want to cry. Yeah. What a fuck. I just picture a little Puerto Rico with a little tiny mustache. And I would lie and say that I had to call my mom. She had to pick me up and I needed it for the phone. So you bought meth. No, we'd go but we played video game. Play Street Fighter. So it's like siege marines like a little department store. She did department store. So there's one old retarded guy came by. Same guy from the bus from last week. Then you lose everybody just literally everybody's on your side And then you know how to lose the ball over to the guy walks up with his cane and I'm like hey man

Can I I gotta call my mom? Can I can I borrow a quarter and he sort of lose it is mine? Yeah It's my money started to try to kick me and his handlers grabbed him and it traumatized me I was like I'm never asking a stranger for money again in my entire life, right what handlers? He had like two guys with them that were his handlers. I don't think handlers is the word. I don't think, yeah. You know what? He's not Whitney Houston.

I was the retarded guy. He could ask me for the money. Did you guys donate to Ted Alexander? Is that a thing? No. I chose the party. What is that? I chose the party over teachers' land.

He's doing a teacher's life. He's doing a web series. It looks really funny and I want to, and I want to, you know, don't know. I retweeted it so other people will donate and stuff like that And I think it's I'm supportive But he asked like people like Jim Gaffigan and I think maybe Amy Schumer and a bunch of other people I'll tell no it's her all them said all them said hey donate money to to this Kickstarter and

Me I'm looking at this going you guys have the fucking money. No, I'm gave a thousand bucks. Yeah, but like I was there Don't get Gaffigan and all these aren't they rich? Yeah. Why are they asking the people without the money? People who have the money. Listen, it's like this. When you... They're not making money.

Here's a deal. No, here's a deal. When comics have money, even when they get asked to do a benefit, they get paid to do a fucking benefit. Do you understand? They're getting thousands of dollars to go and do a benefit to raise money for a hospital when they could just give the fucking money to a hospital

giving me a lot of shit for going to Iraq for a hundred bucks when I answer to that there yeah I'll answer to it right now I went to Iraq and I didn't get paid I went with USO and I went there I feel if you go there as a gig it's just go to Jersey I mean do about what you just said a second ago What do you mean? Millionaires doing gigs? I didn't give an opinion on either way

It was it was just a information I gave I didn't give an opinion. I think you did No, what was the opinion? I did not I just said it this they do this to just point out the show I wasn't saying it was I don't see it's what just a little combative to host a show i host a very successful show called Tuesdays with stories on a stand-up labs records and uh... we got about sixty five thousand listeners every week i know and that's why the sixty thousand votes voting for you today

to hundred ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha thousand votes voting for you today. 200. 200. Well, they don't all listen to your show. So I know, look, it's a fine line. I mean, do you get paid? I mean, I gave to my friend, my friend has cancer. And then Joe LaZon's kid, baby, kid, just born, months has cancer. So I retweeted that and I gave to that and then all of a sudden this thing for Arty and it's like I mean You could you could go all day after day giving giving so it's like you're on a sixth train I also think too maybe I take the bomb bandana guys for my sixth train joke. No, no, I wouldn't hear it Okay, I like it pointed to Lewis. He doesn't have it

my sixth train joke? No, no, I wouldn't hear it. Okay, good. I like that you pointed to Louis. He doesn't even have it. He's a Louis. He's effective. Bob. Everybody assumes your Kelly when she's not here. Louis is Kelly. Louis is Kelly. I was just going to say that they had asked them to do it and they were like, Hey, can you do this? And they maybe didn't even really want to do it. And by the way, that's more valuable. The truth is though Amy Schumer's fans and her reach is more valuable than the 500 bucks

she might donate towards teachers last year. So her going into it and retweeting it and actually putting her stamp of approval on it might equate to, you know, $5,000 as opposed to whatever she's going to get. Tell me Amy gave her own money also. Yeah, we don't know that she didn't. I mean, Amy is one of the most generous people I fucking know on the planet So I assume I assume I know I know that because I've seen I've seen her do it I've seen an action she gave me $700 one time we talked about it. Yeah

She gave me a hand job one time was all the Louis Louis. Yeah Louis. Jay Gomez. That's what she did Dude Lewis Lewis. Yeah Lewis. Jay Gomez. That's what she did. You are a shaper. Dude I love that you learn you've been practicing the rattle because it sounds better. You're like, B how does this one? I trail it out at the end like a real snake. You gotta go. That's what you have to that's like you a podcast, you fucking trail out at the end. That's when the weed kicks in, bro. That was a great line, I missed it because I was working on my own list. I'm just a regular snake.

Garden snake. I shouldn't fucking do this today. All right, so I think, I don't know, man, kick starters. Here's the amazing part, it's like anything. It's like the amazing part of social media is that we raised $40,000 for a friend of us who is sick right now who's's gonna need that money to recover. You know what I mean? So through the fans and through us,

out of thin air, we raised that much money in days. That's amazing. I'm all about raising money in the tragedy. Here's another thing though, is that there's a lot of people right now, faking cancer. No, dude, this girl in Boston faked cancer for a year and a half Shaved her head had her friends drop her off at the chemo place came out. I did a lot of work

Job right like real is due to the week if you ask me good for her How much money did she make because I'm just a thousand she got it This is what she did with the money though. She got a new boob job and a brand new car and a way to go put question How many women would be willing to shave their head? Yeah? $40,000 any woman I know would be willing to show her I bet you they would You save it for I in her absolute. I would do it fat but I would shave my pubes for that money. I would pretty face. $40,000. You did have a pretty face. And as a comic I would be

the bold comic. I probably would get stuff. Let's start a kick starter right now for you to shave your head. If I get $40,000 I will shave my head. You have to shave it all. Absolutely. Okay. I think you should shave just the top and leave like a Gallagher thing. No. Just a flyer. Can you give him the bomb, Dan? I was going to say. I was going to say. It's not the same. Joe, that was a... Why was it a bomb? It was a question. Yeah, stop trying to get Bobby. Thank you, spider. That's not true. He said shave the center like he's like he's galloping to joke That was it a joke unfunny joke. It was more of a statement

Sentence with a joke in it Did you see the one video of the one chick? They it was like a news thing the one video of the one day It's my board of the day one description ever this Would go every day to like like a place on Fifth Avenue and walk around and she had like, like crutches and she would bend over but she was just a young chick who would like, just do this every day and they followed her with a camera and the news like approached her.

They were like, you're not actually like an old cripple bitch. You're just like a young chick. I can't see that, it was unbelievable. She was just crushing it. She make like 800 bucks a day. Yeah, no, I saw it. Well, I pulled up to a guy I told you just before at a red light and like three in the morning in a wheelchair.

He wheeled up to my car and I'm like, I'm on the phone with somebody and I'm like, oh my god, and he looked real sick and I gave him three bucks. And then I see him, he was going away in his countenance money using his feet to pull himself away. I was like, wait a minute, you fuck, and he's like, hey, and he just started laughing.

I was like, yeah, he deserved it. The other day, I saw a guy doing the same thing at Lexington in 59th, waiting for the entry and he was drinking Red Bull, and he asked me for money, and I'll tell someone else the story since you're looking at your phone. No, I'm actually reading comments. We have the chat room, so no, no, listen to us.

So he asked me for money. He said, he fit it. I said I don't have any money and he made a face. Like, uh, and then he just whipped his red bull can onto the tracks and it landed on the track. And I got so petrified that it was gonna derail the track. I was gonna hit by a train. And then when the train came, I was like,

ah! I thought I was gonna get hit with the track. That's right guys, vote for Joe Liss, so host the show next week. You know what, story's all over. I'm gonna give you the band-in of that story That's the first bomb story Well, how are you like my whole career on the podcast? How are you like again?

Then I was like list That is the first time I've ever bombed on the show good point after two and a half long arduous everybody years on the show everybody I'm gonna have long arduous everybody in years on the show everybody Putter again rattlesnake is running a smear campaign against lift. Yeah, I agree. Thank you sir Everybody wants to know where's the stook Nobody wants to know that I swear to God people are fucking thrilled Kelly has one person as where's this Duke is it her is she almost likely? Yeah, let's let's meet in Jesus for stucco host. Here's the thing.

Oh, okay. Here's the thing. Nobody's voted for f**k and scopo. That's one f**king person. That's because he's never said anything on the phone. Because I'm the producer. I have the same name as camera. Can we give scopo an audition to host really quick? Just see how he would do it. Okay, hang on one second. I haven't been interviewed with Joe Mackie, because Joe Mackie talks too much.

I know how it works. Joe, don't even let that fucking, yo you. I'm voting for Dan Soder, and I hope he wins. Okay, America. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I already posted, so does that guy feel a do-if? Oh yeah, so does he. He's in the movies, right now.

So does doing like, so does filming. Shut up, shut up, no, he's here. He's involved it's now on the so to read oh yeah brother did it i'm dan soda doing a voice i've been saying it's now on the so to read for years i listen here we go we're gonna do an audition for his uh... chris gopota host the show can you give me the music

bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb you know what did boom Pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, you know what I did? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, R-I-Y-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- I am one of the best comedians in the world, according to industry professionals. What place should you get Joe? I am not allowed to say that. Um, but, uh, you know, it's not all been determined yet. And I'll tell you what, you'll tell you what you should do.

Well, turn to an NBC on Thursdays. Tell them, Joe, Sten, yeah, and you're going to, you're going to really enjoy the, uh, hell out of that show. You got some good jokes. This has been you know, Chris go up with Joe Mackey. Thank you very much. That's a whole thing. I was you post thing you understand. I wanted to let back I know you know a hard question Listen, here's the thing. I know why you got his back because your friends with them

I am but you know deep down inside because he uses a Sneakers you would have shut that down You would have shut that fucking show off as soon as you went He asked you and hey how you guys doing like the people can clap like we're at a show He's still used to hosting shitty shows. Yeah, how you guys doing? Who's from Europe? He was gonna say anybody having a birthday or New in town in new in town you made the new guy nervous. No, I was nervous before that Yeah, I thought you did a good job thank you joe that's why you're gonna win less comic standing

joe who do you hate who do i hate bad posture people all i think it's you i can't see what you look yeah they can peckable i mean i hate strong word there's people i strongly dislike this the juice

you don't like joseby only dislike yes well uh... boy i don't want to call anybody out that would see kind of unfair I don't have a chance to defend themselves We usually have them on the show the next week to defend You heard it here first Michael Che Joe Mackie hates you like Michael Che he's a good fellow. That was Lewis Project you look at no seriously Do you know what do you get mad at all? What makes you pissed off? You know, I get mad, but I have got a slow burn.

Like, I remember this comedian, I was, I love it. I love this guy. Where did you grow? Where did you, is this the vernacular that is used in state's town? It's state's town. That's the thing.

I didn't go to state college, sir. But no, we, I grew up in state college. It's a really nice town. A lot of people. the city. It's like Mayberry. It's a very We get you got the college. It's rural. I like the only one that ignores is Lewis. Everybody else who gets sidetracked from listen Joey I'm not ignoring you Lewis. I'm sorry, but no, I get I want to make Lewis feel bad. I mean, I mean he was on last comic standing. They showed him for like a minute or two Under a minute. It was probably under 7.32 seconds

Like and Lewis comments on Becky watch Wait, where's my cigarettes? Where is he? Oh shit? I missed it listen. That's not I did all right. I'll take it to Where is he? Oh shit, I missed it. Listen, that's not I did all right. I'll take it to give you real Two real Bob. I like how Lewis ties it on to his thing. Yeah, cuz he knows it's gonna be that for a while Let's get comfy. So cute you guys want to fucking buy each other a cook now. Hey, Bobby I like our joke. We finished each other Sentences really doreb. Did I just hear a train or am I having a stroke? That was a horn hawker. Oh horn. Okay. So, so do you say you get a slow burn?

What do you mean by that? Oh, I don't get, I'm not a hot tempered person. Like the other day I was walking out of a bar. You hear that's a little crunchy, right? Yeah, that's because of fucking, yeah. Let's not put a feed on the table. Well, say I was walking out of a bar. I don't think it's, go, I'm sorry.

Oh no, it's okay. I don't think it's coming through. I think it's in the headphones. Got you got it. Because of the thing. Oh, say I was walking out of a bar with comedian Sam were we when we go over The thing it will actually work itself off. Oh, go ahead. Oh, no, no I was I was walking out of a bar with comedian If you put yeah, because you have long legs if you want to just step back I'm gonna just cross my legs. Okay. bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of How's it sound you're walking out of the front? Yep My Sam Lurl and I were walking out of playwright's bar by Caroline's There's the upstairs and there's the one we're walking down the stairs because they said the upstairs is close

We're going down the bottom to have a drink And this fella spilled beer on us. Yeah, yeah, just uncalled for it on purpose. I think so. I'm not sure And then he was it on was it I'll take was it on your head. It got me in the back of the shoulder it got me in the back of the shoulder right and uh well thank you very much for this delicious beer. Oh I can't open it. Come come. No we got one right here. Here's good. That's that's not the thing. That's a factual deal though. That's sir is a that's sir is a replica. Where's the other thing? Get it out of the way's the other thing. No the other one. I want the other one. The one I bought in Montreal. Where's the other thing get it out of where's the other thing no the other one? I want the other one I bought in Montreal where's the other one give me the other one. I don't know where Joe can use your mouth to open that Yeah, there you go. There you go. There you go

Okay, so that's actually That is a replica of Louis J. Gomez's cock. That is a network comedian right there. Savvy. Savvy. Savvy. I love it. So Sam wanted to fight him. Yeah.

We should mess that guy up. So I unhinged the door and I locked it. Of your anger? No. He was locked in the bar. And we walked in. I don't want this slow burn to get out of hand I know just like this. I'm gonna lock this up inside my my brain and heart

Sam take this kid. I don't want to go crazy Most anger is prider misunderstandings. I just didn't want to get upset at some drunk idiot You know and risk going to jail. There's no misunderstanding If a guy pours a horse here of you from upstairs you fuck him up But he doesn't even know me. Why would anyone know all the more reason to get fucked up? Then okay, then I beat then I beat up that guy and then I'm the comic who beats up people No, no, no, no Rich was the comic that beats up people. Yes, seriously. Rich was the comic that kicks people. Oh, that's right

So so what happened? So I locked the door and he couldn't get out. And I convinced Sam, we just walked away. And you left him in there? Yeah, he was in there. What an idiot. Wow. He eventually figured a way to get out,

but we were already way across the street at that point. And what did he say then? Nothing, he was just blathering drunk. Really? Yeah, just some drunk idiot. So you don't get me, you don't ever hit people, you don't get no fights. No, I got hit breaking up a fight when I was in college. Really? Yeah, my best friend bumped into this guy. And they like had words. And then

I was like, oh guys, no, it wants to fight. And then we moved on. And then my friend turned back and this guy was a monster. He was massive. My friend turned back. He's like, no, fuck you. And so what did you say? And it was what did you just say? So later it was this fella is pummeling my. Are we gonna have to fix this like Scarface on its own CBS? Well, I like to fuck you.

I like to fucking for the jukego was there. What the fuck did you say to I like to apologize to the fans for Myself and Luisa Swearwords, but listen to me. Yeah, I don't want to I don't want to be lumped in with with that Mottly crew go my like listen maniacs don't mind at all They can't shit fuck the end work. They love the end work You know what I just became a listen maniac So this fellas pummeling my friend against the sidewalk I fucking love you. He's he's raining blows upon him in like

He's travawning him well like um, he's uh, you know my friends heads against this the concrete So I pulled this fella off Yeah, and if defuse the fight how how how would you say to him? I was like, he said, he had enough. My friend's a bloody pulp at this point. Yeah, you said he what? My friend's a bloody pulp at this point. So I said, I said, he's had enough, even his friends, like, yeah, this guy's had enough.

Like, right. So we're walking away and I guess something happened. Cool your jets. He became well. He became angry at me and I was walking away. I was wearing my glasses at the time. I was wearing my contacts And there's no way this guy's real. There's no way. I feel like a punch Was it do you holding your nimbus 2000? I don't I don't know what that is

So that was you know what I know I don't start fights your tarry pot is broom Oh Punch you from behind in the face. He can't That'd be the head. Say I'm walking around. I felt a punch come like that. Okay. No, no It wasn't the face Bob. No, but you said around from back in the back of the head in the face It's not like this isn't on recording like they can't rewind and listen to what I actually said know that you're a dummy. Yeah Yep, I think everyone listening knows that you're both dumb Yeah, I think everyone listening knows that you're both dumb

So so what'd you do then? Well, I I I fell to the ground and I really I got back up and his friend was like What'd you do that for and then they walked away and I like the next day I had rat raccoon ears? Oh, he really? Like it hit my my glasses Yeah, you said ears why did you punch that puppet in the face now? I'll never be a real boy. Yeah, so yeah One second Joe what's I get fucking I was in a god damn it. Is there any way you could put your keys in this? Fuck it like the other to get a lot next time and just fucking hit him with it

The bad guys friends should switch groups and be with you guys. Yeah, I should have made a friend that night. Yeah, and all I walked away with was raccoon eyes. Yeah. Oh my ears. Should hang out with me. And raccoons ears. My ears were quite swollen. You don't fight anymore.

Do you there, Shelty? No, not anymore. I used to cool the fight. No, you used to have boxing, you used to have boxing. Oh really? I almost got to fight the other night actually. What happened? I love these.

Somebody stepped on his kicks. No, I was walking in this fucking girl, stepped on my sneakers. And I swear to God, I almost flipped out of it. No, no, I was walking this guy, this guy with drunk fucking guy, a hipster guy with like a bicycle, kind of just looked at my girl,

like just real fucking disrespectful. I'm not like a hothead, but I'm stupid like that a little bit. Just in front of me, it's not even that you look like her. You're protective. And she's like stunningly gorgeous. Yeah, that's what it is. And he got her before he was fucking famous. I did, I did.

Why would you make it for you? He's a great looking guy. Oh, thank you. But disrespecting what? Look at his fucking mustache. It's awful. I do have an awful facial hair. I will admit that I only grow facial hair right here. Yeah, but he's he's a good looking tall thin New Yorker dude

Thank you, but he's always been like the why would he not get hot? She's a foreigner. She doesn't know better She's no, but she's like smoking to the point where it's uncomfortable to be around her. I've seen her He doesn't agree. Oh, no Is gross no he doesn't agree no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Wow, yeah, I mean a little weird. Yeah, that was fucked up. So go ahead Anyway, he just kind of looked and the look was dismissive to me. That's why I didn't like No, but you know, like no, can you show me the look like Joe and Adrienne are showering here right now Just it's like he looked at me just like they're looking at me right now and then And then he looked at and he's has this

fucking one-speed bike yeah the fixed gear bike and it's fucking plaid shirt and he just there yes absolutely so he's broke his guy Joe Derosa was just Joe Derosa the iterated guy cuz yeah it was it was like it was it was it was Nick Thune and Joe Derosa mixed together okay no Nick yeah I do so was I was that makes the other end of funny guy so Nothing I thought I thought I was gonna go sign it I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I and then I just said I said something like you good buddy And then he started kind of mouth-and-off. Oh, yeah, you tough. Oh, yeah, you're protecting her something like that This and that the other and he just kind of follows up. We have some fucking banter Yeah, and he just kind of started following us and then he's like all right go go ahead with your bitch Oh

So I fucking but I lost it Finally I fucking I'm talking to her, but I lost it Finally Lewis On the board. Lewis on the board Directors why can't we be podcast your fire Bobby? Let's go assist to my facial hair on that shit. I got it So you have the same facial here as your shin. I do. I do. I have a very Asian facial here. Okay, so basically we're walking and he calls a bitch and... He thought I said, Jin.

Wait, what? Can we add it? Everything we just did. We started over. We're starting over. So he called you a bitch. So you basically called her a bitch. Oh, sorry.

And he called her a bitch and you know, kind of, you know, he called her a bitch and I fucking, I got upset, so I just rolled out. Yeah. I'm not fucking, you know, I you know he called her a bitch and I fucking I got I got I got upset so I just I rolled out going on I fucking you know I pushed her up and pushed him oh well I tried to get you know get it going like so you so you so you so you said what did you say I just said you know I said you just call her well I knew we called her a bitch I said you just fucking call her a bitch and I rolled up and I pushed him right you didn't roll up you walked up right he's on rollerblades hey listen guys I had friends that weren't white growing up. Okay, but you're with, you're like Maggie grew up here.

People that were 100, four. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, you're with your white friends now. That's right. Sorry, sorry. So I approached the gentleman. I approached him with malicious intent. You make a throw-up by yourself, though. Doesn't even make sense. No. Yeah, you can roll up on him. No, that made sense I would listen to us rather look what he is and look what we all are Basically, I just went up and I pushed him he didn't you know, I pushed him

I said you fucking no, he wasn't on the bike. He had a hole in it So I pushed and I pushed him again. I was rolling it really easy white black Can I ask what national he? White did, okay. You would do this one black guy. You would do it black guy. I was like, yeah, I was like, it was a black guy. He would be like, yeah, she's bitchy sometimes.

She can get out of pocket. You got a problem with her? I'll take her home. I'll take her home. Yeah, I'll take her home. I'll take her home. Yeah, I'll take her home. You would have slapped this girlfriend.

What the fuck are you doing? You don't, you have my bottom bitch, my motherfucker. You're just gonna let him look at you like that? That's what you love. You're gonna blame Dirk. Why are you gonna let him look at you like that? Now, so I just want, I can't, you're just gonna let him look at you like that Blame Why you gonna let him look at you like that? Now so I just want I can't you know I can't push them and then he wasn't doing shit and then he started doing the whole Oh, oh yeah take it there. Yeah, take it. Oh, he went he called her a bitch and then he turned into a

Hepsen he just turned it to a pussy and really and then we just went off, but it was was he drunk Yeah, it was probably a drunk. Here's a deal I fucking hate booze, man And you keep drinking there Joey, but listen I fucking I Can't I fucking hate alcohol. I really do god I know there's some people that can drink and it doesn't affect them in a bad way Thank you. I'm not saying everybody. Joe you're one of them. Oh I'm just saying it is the fucking most violent shitty drug out there. I'd rather

see people that shows on LSD than fucking alcohol. Honestly, God, and you I watch that show jail. Did you see you ever see jail? I like lock up better, but I know it's the same shit. They just show a jail overnight. People come in, taking out take. And every time it's some fucking lady, a woman, who's fucking trashed, and she's screaming, kicking, fuck you, you fucking motherfucker! I mean, the most violent, viceshittiest person on the planet, and then four hours later, I'm sorry, I just wanna go home and see my kids.

And it's like, it's like Jacqueline Hyde. It's the only drug that really turns people fucking into really evil, bad human beings. I get anxiety, I'll be honest when I'm with my girl and I'm at a place where I know people are drunk. Is there more willing, say some crazy? And now I have, I gotta make her feel like I can protect her, even if I can't in the situation, I got to make her feel like I can. Right. Yeah. Or else, you know, what does she do? But here's the thing, too, though, you get your ass beat or you get no fights. Say you even beat him. And he, you fucking snapped your ankle on the fight. I'm fucking my face up.

And now I can't film for her. I knew he was in a fucking knew. That's what I would be more. Honestly, I'll be honest. I'm already about that. They don't need my ankles. They need my face. I've really thought about like when I used to box, I used to box and I was barren. Yeah. Fucking my nose is all I'll be honest. I worry about that. They don't need my ankles. They need my face. I really thought about like when I used to box I used to box and I was barren. Yeah, fucking my nose is all I broke my nose plenty of time You fucking you fuck up. You fuck up your you could lose a job You'll have to roll everywhere That's fucking dude. I like it. He's still holding on to this dick. Where's his bottle of water by the way? I like it. He's still holding on to this dick. Where's his bottle opener, by the way?

Well, that's what's funny about, it's like marijuana makes most people feel similar, but alcohol, like I get a little jolly if I have a few drinks, but some people they have quite a bad temperament after they have a few and it's very tough for you and I really believe all their respect issues come up, because I was a bad drunk, I was a violent drunk, that's, you know, it was terrible. and it was always about my it was about my respect It was about being taken advantage of Child but the last time you had a drink. It's a little different and let me finish and let me But here why saying that to me while doing that to me kids made fun of me kids would call me gay and

You all this fucked up shit and wanted to beat me up. I lived most of my childhood in fear from first to sixth grade. I was in you know just fear all the time of being hit or heard or you know it's made fun of blah blah blah. When I found alcohol and it took away my fear. I didn't give a shit anymore. And once you do that now I'm going to walk up to you and fucking hit you with a stick Cuz I don't I'm drunk. I'm fucked up. There's an you know There's something that happened that released this the fucking thing that was blocking my my rage Was the fear and it just was so heavy that it made me just want to sleep under a rock

Yeah, and I did you know, I mean I I slept under a rock and walked around with a stick. Where are you hanging out? I, I, I, a kid, I didn't go to school to Boston. I didn't go to the best of it. I didn't go to school for a long time. I would go into the basement and just curl up on the corner and sleep.

Cause I was, I was, they were gonna beat me up at school. So I would not go. And my mother wouldn't help me. I didn't have a father that would fucking help me. I didn't have anybody to protect me or the, no teachers gave a fuck about me. I didn't have brother or sister. I didn't have a father that would fucking help me. I didn't have anybody to protect me or the no teachers gave a fuck about me. I didn't have brother or sister.

I didn't have friends. I didn't have no friends at that time. It's really hard for me to feel bad for you when I know that you grew up with a basement. Well, I'm sorry, I didn't live in Florida. I went to fuck you mean. But where'd you live? Where'd you live?

Manhattan and a fucking apartment. The fucking best city in the world. Yeah, but we didn't have basement. You could go high from our feelings. Yeah, but you had feelings. Yeah, you do have a loan time apartments have base I shared a bunk bed with my brother if I had a bad day was in the bunk bed. Yeah, I would love a bunk bed I had nobody I had a fucking wall You know you Your own space and you wanted a brother. That's what it was

But yeah, it was I was trying to go somewhere with him, but didn't work. No, it's all right. Because actually, apartments in New York have great basements. Do they? Yeah, that's where you put your trash. That's where all that basement.

You had a basement? Yeah, they have every apartment in New York has a basement. No. Absolutely. What do you think they put the fucking dead bodies? We can rent the stuff down. Why did you say that sexy? That was not bad. That was not bad.

That was not bad. Rubbing your knees. You're rubbing your knees. My knees actually itchy. I'm itchy. How bad does it have to be where it's itchy? I've never shaved my knee and it's not itchy at all. If it's very long, it's not itchy.

If it's just a little bit, it's itchy. OK, yeah, I think that i just hate alcohol what the fuck and hate it well groups of drunks are the worst to go well every fucking every heckle every shitty person at a comedy show as a last luis jay goma has less night at a show he threatened somebody that's what i walked into last night

threatening to let me come back threatened him that's a usual what happened yeah no he fucking he's hey He's not in the heck with him in the world. It's keep on calling shit. I'm his drunk wife over there There you go. I was a threat right yeah, I was a third comic on the show right they had ruined everybody set the club Isn't doing shit nobody's getting the matter there so I go up there

And I just I started shitting on the guy and I'm literally going I was like to the point Well, everyone's laughing. I'm actually getting the audience on my side, but I'm going like, I want to fucking beat you. I want you to approach me after the show just so I can beat you up. Please come up to me after the show. And I'm kind of being funny with it whatever. So I go out and he actually approaches me. He comes out to me. What does he say?

And he was like, you need to learn how to take a joke. I need to learn how to take a joke at a comedy show. I hate that fuck. You're not at a comedy show to tell jokes. People think it's like a dance club. Like you go to a dance club to dance. Like we're gonna go and be funny at a comedy club No, you sit you're supposed to sit there and fucking listen So it's like dude get the fuck out of my face. I was like I don't know who the fuck you are get out of my face

So he says something else and I was like bro if you don't get out of my face I'm gonna smack the fucking shit out of you, right? And you're like oh you're gonna smack me or then we'll get the cops involved immediately They go to the fucking cops. It's like dude, so don't come the fuck at me and like dude if you see a guy is not smiling He's not fucking around with you. I'm not a clown. All right, especially these workout rooms in New York City The shit rooms they don't pay half the time We're literally going up there to get the 12 minutes tell some fucking jokes and that's that I'm using you to gauge whether or not this will work in front of a fucking real old and it doesn't go ahead Stop booking yourself there

I'm gonna tighten my bandana on my own my So what happens he goes again to the company goes fucking nothing he just walks away Dude stand up New York. I think it was Friday or Saturday. I I kicked out of Dude, stand up New York. I think it was Friday or Saturday. I kicked out of like 16, 40-year-old women for this woman's 40-year birthday party. You kicked them out? Like, while on stage, they were just, they wouldn't shut up. They were like, they just came to be with each other. So they were so-so.

Yeah, and I said to them, I was like, if you guys leave now, I will pay your bill. Because I was the first comic. I figured they only got one drink. How much is it gonna be yeah, they leave I was four thousand dollars three hundred Dollars did they actually make you pay it? They didn't make me pay it, but I bluffed heavy Wow, I put the card on the table. They're like we're not gonna do that. I was like alright guys you great You're really good Support me I appreciate how they have three and how many people are in the group 16 women or 15 15. Oh, well, yeah, dude That I mean you should have known it was there's 15 covers and one drink, but not the not the covers weren't included

Oh, it was just glass. There's a rule. That's why I love the seller. There's a rule sit no more than six people Yeah, if you if you have a I've seen them do it too in the line here on time six people. Yeah. If you if you have a I've seen them do it too. In the line here on time, eight people. No, birthday party. Can we split? They go, can we split it up? No, you can't through. This is his make-up. She's going to die tomorrow. Sorry. Fuck that. Seriously. Fuck you. No. There's rules and they stick to them and they know it's more than six people. They're going to ruin the whole fucking show. And the room is too small to fuck around. You know what I noticed? It's six people of the same gender. You get six guys or six girls together.

Right. They're gonna be fucking loud. If it's like, it's like two on two, eight, there's always look, man. There's always, for me, it's always a woman. It's always a fucking drunk, bro.

It's always right. Who, at some point in my act, but sometimes that woman has a penis. Some said fuck it. I'm out. Guys, probably because of the way I fucking look, At some point in my act, but sometimes that word has a penis. Some said fuck it. I'm out. Guys, probably because of the way I fucking look, and I will fight them, that I don't really,

I'll tell a guy shut the fuck up and they do. Yeah. But women, though, it's usually hot chicks, smoking hot chicks, who look in a mirror and go, I'm fucking hot. That type of person, fucking hates me. Because, you know, I'm not, because I'm self-deprecating, I don't like fucking,

I talk about not liking yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't like good looking people. I say that all the time trying to convince themselves that they actually like themselves. So that fucks them up to hear somebody, I get that dude. It's fucked up.

It's all, like even at my special, those two fucking hot broads, right? I told them, I don't, I said no hot fucking girls. I don't wanna look at... Pretty sure that's against the law. I don't wanna see them in the front row. I don't wanna see them around me. Anytime I did like those big shows with Dane Cook,

fucking smoke and hot chicks, right? Always on their fucking phones. Not paying attention, because they're there to see fucking. They need a lot of attention. Yeah, if you don't, that's something I noticed. They need a lot, they need it.

They talk to them. They're all about it. Yeah. Second, you, you're attention to anything else. Both fucking phone calls. If you don't pander to them, they're not used to that,

and they don't like that. That's why audiences that like crowd work, that if you're, if like a host doesn't crowd work up top and they don't want to crowd work, and then you get into jokes, and they're not used to that and they don't like that. That's why audiences that like crowd work, that if you're like a host doesn't crowd work up top and they don't want to crowd work, and then you get into jokes and they're not into the jokes, but they love the crowd work. It's that same type of thing, it's about them.

And it's usually fucking, a lot of New York crowds or like that, it's really about them. Well, I just did Toronto. I did the underground comedy, I did underground comedy club. Oh, underground, yeah. which is that weed club. The rebar, awesome. And then I did comedy bar and they really fucking,

they really got something going up there. They really do, man. Because their comics generating audiences, audiences. You know what I mean? So they're creating these crowds that are showing up and they get the rules of what we do. And they're just fucking great shows, all of them. Except one, some fucking great looking twat.

And here's the thing, is that they think that because they're not yelling out at me, when you go, hey, I wanna go to them. And you're in the front row and you're talking to your friend, your friend's listening and you start whispering to her. I don't know. And I know everybody's looking at you because you're actually

physically fucking whispering in somebody's ear. So everybody who sees you is disengaged. This girl actually got up at the last joke, the last punchline, the last line of my set. Stood up and fucking killed the joke like literally stood up got up and went the bathroom last fucking last thing I want to have something into the set she and I literally terminus before that do you want to go and use the bathroom or something at that point gets up since fuck you and goes

I want to tell her I had a fucking brick i would a fucking hit thrown it in our head regional denny member not want to explain it jell ronny king this guy uh... after the uh... ronny king verdict he drove a truck and uh... he used to he used to cut across crunch off bull of art in self-central loss angeles

and uh... he didn't have a radio and it was a pre-self-phone so he didn't realize that he was driving into uh... one of the worst riots in american history and he was dragged out of its truck hit with the face of the brick i mean we have a woman comicality you find that it's women common women that are always the uh... fucking yaper's in the club what what is it to you i think it i think it varies depending on the show.

I very, very rarely. I will get a lot of time meant that we'll want to talk to me. Really? I don't know what it is. I'm sure it's the dynamic that you said. I think yeah. The people that don't relate to you. Because I think the chicks are loving you.

They love you. Chicks are cool to me, but they can still, I think people that just lack etiquette, you know, don't consider. I think hot chicks look at me because I'm talking about what I'm talking about being fat or below. They immediately shut down. I think that it's 80-20 women to men. I think they need attention all the time. Regardless of who it is on the stage. You had to run in with that chick. My show, the comic strip, that time. What was that? I think it's 80-20 men. would happen there? What is that? She was like, enough with the dark stuff.

Yeah. Oh, you did a good thing. It was tough. It would stop. It would stop. It would stop. It would be entitlement. She directed the show.

And she was like an old man. Hang on, what happened? What did she say? You're doing your acting. She's like, um, enough with this. Like, she had enough of my life. How the fuck do you fucking even fathom speaking at a live event, dude, as an audience member. You know what it is?

How the fuck does that even, no. How do the fuck do you even go? I'm going to say what I think right now. And they were a table of like 20 people. They were awful. I learned what this was last night. I was sitting upstairs and Bill Mar came by the Comedy Cellar, right? And it's a Mar, a tell, and me and Steve we're just sitting at the table and

Mar had like a really cute Steve home Steve uh fabricant okay yeah so we're just really cute young like uh I don't know like almost like uh indian maybe Somali chick or something with it right he's white no the chick I was with there was with Bill Marley he only did black chicks right so this chick is in there and all the attention is on this young cute chick. A tell is asking her shit. You know what I'm saying? What are you drawing? I'm asking her about her fucking painting.

She doing this a bit painting. You're a people pleaser. But it's crazy that she's surrounded by one of the greatest comedians ever. A famous fucking dude who has zone show on HB. And David Tell. Do you know what I'm in? I knew that that was gonna come.

I happen to be on TV and the three of us are asking her about her fucking drawing, being a hot chick is more powerful than being famous. Yeah. Had drawing, I'm okay. Can I take the chair? Can I take the chair? No, it's not even that chair.

You know it's more of a point of, you're good. But do you know what I'm saying? We're constantly looking, even if you're not looking to fuck her, you kind of are. That's where they've been training. You've been training your mind and body to get girls to want to fuck you forever and we know one of the tricks in order to get women to fuck you is by asking them questions it's like the oldest trick in the book you just

start asking them you this way you don't have to even be interesting keep on asking them about themselves keep on asking about themselves and they love talking about themselves so all that was was you as dudes going into autopilot, which is we do automatically the other time. Does it matter how famous you are? So with that being said, I don't blame these hot chicks for being that entitled at the show, because who entitles them?

We fucking do. I don't, I don't fucking entitle any of these bitches. I'm married, I'm married to my fucking chick. I'm totally happy. I walk down the street. I don't go, hey, look at that ass. I don't give a fuck about any of them chick. I'm totally happy. I walk down the street. I don't go hey look at that Ask I don't give a fuck about any of them anymore. And here's the thing is that I I treat women like shit. I gotta be honest. I don't think we've like I hate them. I don't fucking like them And here's the thing too is that they even during my special the reason why they kept whispering to each other, the one, is because she knew the camera was on her,

and she knew that by drawing the attention, just a little, you're gonna look at her for a second. Instead of me, you motherfucker! Really? At this, this isn't a fucking just a regular, you motherfucker, you were red, you fucking tits, you did your hair, you got up front because of what you looked like. She did, you just named different things she did to herself and then you just also named her body part. This is just, this is all stuff he wants his wife to do. You did your hair, you did fucking makeup,

lip stick. Pussy hole. It was a fucking noise. And even at this other show, even at the pot club, everything was great except the one hot girl, because what happens with chicks is, especially hot chicks, when you say something that they disagree, you're fucking done.

I'm done, you know what I mean? I'm fucking done. That's not only hot chicks, this is the new generation of everything bothers me. This is dudes too, like you just say. But that's because you can put anything out into the universe everyone has a voice yeah there's no who should never say anything there's no unfavorite but yeah

that's the problem with twitter there's no button that says this is shitty people are getting positive sheet that regularly that's the problem yeah i mean there is people that shouldn't ever be allowed to let other people know what they think. I agree. I just think there's people out there that I think there's people that should not ever be able to speak to us. Right.

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Discover Gives of Luxury at evata.com 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1 This is the 3x1 signal that means you can already take advantage of the 3x1 in half you are only asking for the online number. Is it closed? 3x1, 3x1, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sorry, thank you. All right, listen, we're gonna take a break right now. We're gonna come back, we're gonna switch gears. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm gonna go to the chat room when we come back. We're gonna see if Joe wants to talk again.

Okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And we're gonna pay some bills with some, what are they called ads? Advertisement. Advertisement, all right. We'll be back, everybody in the room, the chat room watching live We'll be back in five, ten minutes really fifteen, but fucking hang in there

Hey, what's up? YKW dudes if you're a fan of the show you know how you could help us out right above the latest episode of YKWD at Rikest.com slash YKWD or sorry rikats.com slash Robert Kelly. You will notice a few links. Click on the Amazon link, bookmark that link and use that link every time you make a purchase through Amazon. If you do that, we get a kickback on the show, which is huge because I don't make any money off this.

Bobby Kelly's fucking rich, but every once in a while when he's in a good mood and you guys spend money, he throws me a 10 spot. So it's really good to do. I actually haven't made a dime off the show. I put it all back into the studio. Can you please stop doing I'm you're ruining my thing here. Sorry, right? Also You'll notice a link for Gamefly dot com Gamefly dot com is a Netflix for video games sign up for the two game

15-day free trial. It's absolutely free to do the paper shit and We get a kickback also when you sign up for that trial they will sign up for a free trial a 30 to trial of Hulu plus Hulu plus is like fucking the It's I thought it was 30 day. No, it's a 15 day free trial 30 days No, and in the real world at 15 days 30 days Okay, I guess on hammer fishing. It's 30 but you guys get the shit here once you know what you guys you're gonna hammer fisting Page stop it stop that's why I don't want you to do it Well, you always make it about you know, it guys you got a hammer fist things page stop it Stop and that's why I don't want you to do it. You always make it about you. It's about the fucking fans Bobby

They're actually a 15 days to why can't I be doing it to hammer fist week. I do go to tweak daughter you move on Or you can click on tweak daughter.com use the promo code dude You don't click on tweaked are you go to or you can click on the link to cuz we have a link Okay, go to tweaked order.com use the promo code dude They have the best most awesome, any ear headphones on the market. They have nine different styles and colors. And check this out. If you use the promo code, dude, you get 33% off, free shipping and a limited lifetime warranty. Dude, just do it. And we're back. Mac, you love it. Yeah. The rattlesnake is back. All Alright, here, first of all, we're going to be, I'm gonna go right to the chat room right now. Scupper, what's going on in there?

Okay, we got Maddie Jester skulls. Maddie! Lewis's fucking little guy. Little guy, yeah. Did this guy follow? We went to Joker's Wild. Yeah. He was like following Lewis around, like Lewis was his idol. I am his idol. When you yelled at that chick, he was like jerking off in the colon. I know. Do you really what? I did it for him. Who the fuck is that? Maddie Jessus goes all right. So right now. Let me see the chat room did what do you say? Yeah Let me see I'll read it. You kill in the show. Oh, you fucking that's why scope scope. I got two votes

I am what's that? I got a Facebook message from somebody that said to come back on the show. Oh, you fucking, man. That's why Scope got two votes. I am. What's that? I got a Facebook message from somebody that said to come back on the show and curse you out. Why? I don't know. Me or Joe? Lewis.

Lewis, why? I don't know. What did you say? I don't know, fuck that guy. I hope his mother dies tomorrow. Why? The mother's already dead. Mom, see?

I'm magical. I want back in time and killed his mom. It's just a show of dead. It's the dead. Mother's... And then he said he liked me. My mom's alive. Okay. So. Never mind. I take it back. I hope your mom comes back to life.

She's already dead. You killed her. Your mother's dead too? Your mother's not dead. Your mom's a comic. You don't listen when she talks. I got what I said. And not about me. He's talking about the guy that wants me to Chris Mal. What did Maddie say? All right. Here we go. He goes loose. He's ready I said. He's talking about the guy that wants me to Chris Mal. What a maddie's that. All right, here we go. Gagogloos, it really did again.

My name is Chris. I'm sorry. Yeah. Any, oh, you know, you're stuck. Anyone else streamed cut out, but no. SJW420, I believe that's to weed. Never speak at a comedy. Speak only when spoken to

Yeah hot chicks always get their way because we dudes are suckers that was black gaspo Yep, whatever that means that gospel the black gospel. That's the truth God said gospel. Yeah, that's what I would think but go ahead. Can you read it better? He will speak at comedy. You just think at a reading. Let me see. Let me see. They're great people. They're listening lives.

You need to do it like a guy from 24-7. Attention. Do to think you're funny and drunk chicks. They ruin everything. Jennifer, Dubert, Richard. funny and drunk chicks they ruin everything jennifer dobert Richard always a drunk woman always

sjw420 i love the story about bobby getting jerked off by a retard what okay what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what Hang on a second. I wouldn't hear that story. She wasn't retarded. She was like slow. I'm not gonna judge you, Bobby. Thank you. I'm just like, you're like, you're... You slept under a rock. I am. I'm sure you have a...

I had this girl that used to, she was one of the like a slow chick in, in no time. What do you mean slow? She was a little slow. She wasn't the brightest, I was the... Was there family getting money for her?

Like that kind of slow? She had her abilities now. I can't lose the ability No I should have handled this call back was it down? No, no she wasn't retarded. She wasn't mentally retarded Right I was in the rubber rooms in school in high in junior high in seventh grade and we you know The one room in the basement with the snake in the back of the basement again. Oh you're right. Yeah. And we stopped Fingertfucking the microphone sexy. Get away from that. Just can't get away from this basement. So she used to follow me home. Like we will walk the same way. And she would follow me and blah, blah, blah. We're like physically used to walk the same way, like

waddling. That was pretty good. I like that. I like it. I was like, I'm excited he got when he thought he had one. I did think you guys were gonna laugh at it. Not just say it's good after a three-second delay. It was a good premise. Yeah, we really are like your family. What's left of them? You guys just all gave me a verbal participation trophy. So we, yeah, she would follow me home and one day I just gave it. I let her do it. I let her jerk me off into my basement. Oh, that's so nice. So she was asking you.

She was asking you if she could. I thought you weren't going to judge me. You're fucking tall. Hey, Mundo, I sleep there. I'm not. I'm not judging you. I'm saying you said, I let her do it like it was so nice of you. Yeah, like there was some altruism.

Yeah, did you do anything to her? No. You should have done something to her. You should haveed something to her. It's that she wasn't She want she wanted she liked me. I like she she's strong She might have been straight full reach We're forehead bigger than mine. Nobody's. No.

How far apart were her eyes? The rest are sharp for. E-T would say Joe has a big forehead. What did you say? You guys were in the same classes? Well, yeah. We were all in this basement class that you stayed in all day. I was there for getting in trouble

and being a punk and not doing my work. She was there because I think she needed it. She was nice, she was alright girl, but she would follow me home and try to talk to me and I'd talk to her a little bit because I was in heartless. And then she was like, we should go out and I was like, it's not happening.

And then one day, I'm in heartless. We should go out, fuck it up my face. That's that didn't say that. How did she ask you to go out? What did she say? She was not cute at all. Not even for a retarded girl. She looked like Chris Tinkle. No. She was not cute at all. She was not really that cute. And then one day I took, we went in the basement and I took my deck out and I let her jerk me off. Did she ask you to do that or did you just take it out and i thought it was ice cream i was like you know ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh Chris is doing characters now. Hi buddy. Soda you're not missed. So we went to the basement and I think I just,

I took my dick out and I put a hand on it. I actually grabbed it and started jerking it off. And I got some soap but it was lava. Remember lava soap? No. It's like, it's got like rocks in it. It's like the clean, like fucking soard dudes. Like guys who work in sores are with like tar. It's the like rocks in it. It's like the clean fucking soar dudes. Guys who work in sores are with tar.

It's to clean their hands. I think that's what you're gonna have ice. Did you finish? Yeah, I finished in the, well no, here's what happened. I remember this. And I've said this on an A before. I looked out at a little basement window. We could just see feet and wheels.

They were the rapists. Wee-ho. Yeah. Like the little littleeverney Shirley windows. So I looked and I saw my mother and my aunt came home. So I go, I'll be right back and I ran through the tornado door on the back, up and around. And I was up, oh, what's up mom? And I told, I'll be back, stay here.

So she hid like in the little stairwell. Rock. No, she was in the little stairwell. And I went up stairs and my mother brought food home and I wanted to have a little bite. And I fell. She just couldn't even fucking resist. You left it down there. I fell asleep on the couch. I was just like waiting for them. They were going to leave again. They were going back out. And I was waiting and I fell asleep and I woke up. It was like fucking eight. And that girl was still down there? And I went, oh my God, and I ran around the back of the house.

It was like dark out and I opened up, she was like shivering on the stairs. She goes, can I go home now? Wow, well, let's go. Here's the thing, the only one that laughed at that and I still feel sad about it. I could cry right now, Lewis J. Gomez, the only one that went ha ha ha ha ha

Got one one time did it well the hood she said can I go home now and and did you say well you have a job to finish? No, you fucking piece of shit. I was sad. I went yeah, I'm sorry She's still at a foamy hand It was dried up. There was fucking posters around the neighborhood. It was a retard girl that was missing for nine hours. She wasn't retarded. She was a little slow. Oh, okay.

Everyone one time I fucking... She's stuka without the accent. She's funny. All right, so one time I had girls over. Me and my buddy Forest, we were roommates, dude. Is this a rape story? Because I don't want to get into this. No.

Okay, good. So, uh, you can always be a rape story. I remember. They wouldn't give hand jobs. So we made it. It's fine. Joe. We move past it was a non-zing I know what a fucking point. I know what is it? What is it? He tried to sing it, but it just was backwards Yeah, she was like for still. I was like oh, she's funny. He implied she would be funny Thanks, Joe. No problem. So one time me and that up. I fucked that up. Thanks, Jim. No problem. So one time, me and my buddy Forest had these girls over and I had the bonn on my bedroom. We were just like hanging out all night and we were trying to hook up with these chicks.

And I remember I went to bed before everybody. I was like, yeah, I'm going to go to bed and then I started to jerk off. I locked my door, I started to jerk off, but I just pulled my jeans around my ankles. So I fell asleep while I was jerking off. And I had the bonn on my room and in my door locked, so they all climbed out the fire escape to get into my room, so they just walk in with my little tiny sleeping deck with my pants around my ankles, just fucking, when they also made fun of me, the tunnel lights on and fucking, yeah.

I love that you tried to add more to the story when you didn't get Enough at the end and they also made fun of me I'm like they were in the wrong I want to thank Ian Rice is the man had the graves is unbelievable Fabian Martin awesome Great Trevor head You guys are great for donating to the show. I wanna go right now, I have results, not the final results of the poll,

of who's gonna host the show. But these are the final results? These are not the final results. Yeah, make sure they're updated. They are not the final results. Are you ready? I'm ready. Right now, Chris Scopo. Chris Scopo. I'm a slow starter. There's hope with scope Chris low start

Chris go my house strong has 15 votes. Wow. I'll take 15 votes. I'll take it pretty good Kelly late push Kelly for stuka 300 and not I'm kidding She's voting for herself constantly in the car to get 76 votes That's still five times the store fucking dominating me Jesus Christ Dan soda. Oh boy. Here we go. Yeah, boy 194 votes Decent numbers respectable Louis J Gomez Wow decent numbers respectable

Louis J Gomez No good now 248 Four digits I think I might be four digits Joe the truth list list 200 no get out of here with that shit. That's more shit. 300 and what? And 70 votes. Oh, that's way too much.

He's got you by 3.6%. That's, is that up to you? He's ahead in the poll. That is updated. But hold on, that's also not including the votes from the other poll, serving monkey. Oh, which I was winning. No, we were in second place.

He was winning. When are we finishing the poll? When is the poll supposed to be? Tonight. Tonight. I make my announcement. Midnight tonight, I make my announcement via Twitter in the morning who is hosting next week's show.

Can you do a Vine video? Huh? Can you do a Vine video to say who's hosting? The West Coast list of maniacs are just waking up right now. Haha. Haha. That's good. I have a huge uh southern Australian following.

It's still like two o'clock in the West Coast. Australia's a headbusted dodo. Very lazy. Yeah. It's tomorrow ready. This voting is closed in Australia. Yeah, they voted already. Don't worry about the world ending tomorrow.

It's up to the uh fuck. What? That's what you what? That's what you want Oh shit, I am I'm getting nervous about the kids getting older now which kids Maximus are your kid and Now like he's starting to miss me which is starting to tear my fucking heart apart I have a baby monitor in his room and I can watch it for him anywhere in the world on my iPhone. So I wake up at six to seven and I watch him wake up when I'm on the road.

Because it's, you know, I just, I don't get to see him. So I see him kind of, you know, wake up a little bit, get up and then I see him sit up. He knows that the monitor, there's a light that comes on, when it's on, a little, like in fraredayed light you can barely see it but he can see it and what what what kind of light and frayed infrared infrared what they call it in frayed weird for no it's an abbreviation I swear to God am I out of my mind and for error no it's not for a, they do but in the tech world. It's a fact.

You're here. It's a fact. It's okay. How do you spell it if infrared? Infrared doesn't feel better for you. How do you spell it? Infrared. I andP-E-D. If anybody's a nerd in the chat room, please back me up. Infrared is a fucking terminology for- That's not- It's not even shorter than infrared, though.

You can't just hold- You can't fucking hold firm when you're wrong about a fact. I can do whatever I want. I don't- Don't fucking- And who shortens words with words that are as long It's like saying calling you bobbert short for Robert Listen, which is a point is actually I was gonna say we call him bobbert. I like that way more The point is what was my point? Your son's missing you I so he notices the

None of this fuck up I he looked at he looked at he pointed to it and went, ta da, like, because you always go over the light. I'm in. I'm in. Power 40 on your special Jesus Christ. I did an hour 40 because I had,

I had to get it all out. Yeah, well, I was standing. Ha ha ha. It was a long time to stand. It was not a long time. It was. You weren't there the whole time anyways. No, I had to get there late

because I knew you were going to do an hour 40. No, I had to get there late because I knew you're gonna do an hour 40 Yeah, you're an ass. How was it? Okay, that is good Now it's phenomenal Bobby looked great. It was great. I went to both shows because I care about my friend Barbara and Fred And Fred and Fred and Fred and Fred Can you tell these fellow infrared question mark? You don't know that Infrere, how can you tell these spell- Infrere, question mark. She don't know that.

Yeah. Ah. Alright, so he sees you and then I see you watching. He looked at me and went, and I was like, what the fuck? Now, like, I'm so what. How do you know it's not- How do you know it's not-

How do you know that was another guy with the white- That's what I'm fucking thinking right there. How do you know there's not this other dude right there? First of all, what do you think? My wife is not, my wife doesn't have the energy to deal with me Never mind fucking hook up with somebody else That's what I was talking about with somebody else too. There's no way my wife. No, my wife's not gonna I mean you want me to answer honestly. You don't want me to go with the joke. I want you to go You're right it might be my wife's banging a fucking dude might be Gomez Or a guy that stands next to the fucking camera. Oh, you know, it's not me, but I hope it's a go mate. I

Listen to me. I would never do such a thing With men of honor I can't lie. I'm a women of honor. I might definitely would Drill his way into your house through a fucking floorboard all four of them I Have go way into your house. You're fucking floorboard. All four of them. I have to have go my- Instead of saying go my- If go my did it, it would literally just be fucking boiled down to three dudes in the country.

Hey, Vase. Instead of go my- To list of maniacs, why don't we just say white people in Puerto Ricans? I mean, she- Why it's done? Is she did it twice? No, because I got interrupted. I'm trying to shut up inside around.

Because I'm a good host. I'm the dumb twice. I'm the dumb twice. I'm the dumb twice. No, it's like an interrupted I'm trying to shut up inside around. Good host. Joe Bomb twice. Joe Bomb twice. Ever. I'm just getting it because I talked to Paul Versey. What the fuck? Why? Why? Hey guys, don't. That should be better than that. Um. It's more pertin. I'll take the bomb and then back to that one. That was good.

I've probably got the default position as with you though. Yeah, dude. Yeah. You know, when you set your computer for the light to go off at 30 seconds, it's the default. That's the best for bomb and then. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

All right. Now we have one of my favorite people in the world uh... heavy graves uh... uh... heavy heavy graves not as funny heavy heavy graves

heavy don't they talk heavy graves in n dash f r a dash red it's infrared having a wavelength just greater than that of the red end of the visible light spectrum okay why would you know what

it means we all know it was infrared just want you to know how to pronounce it but no in frayed is a fucking word. No, it's not Geo a we jerk we off must be a tell you if you find the rock Leave me in the basement and Frank for ten See level in I was a kid too hey joke. I'm a fuck down bro. i was being polite joe please don't reply so i know what it is is it inferred or is it inferred i thought it was inferred but perhaps there's another technical term that i'm not aware of so i think that either person could be right at the time do you believe in abortion uh... i would prefer people didn't have abortions what about

say who's the real who's the real god uh... i believe in god uh... but uh... i don't think there's a real who's the real God? I believe in God, but I don't think there's a real God I mean Jewish God it's just God. He's almost a maniac though, right? You guys see what you put me on the spot here. Hey, is just quiet. Ask him about abortion That's about God some light subjects here You guys are telling stories about smut How do you not love this fucking guy holy fucking hey? What do you think my mother is having her hell? I think she's in hell. Did your mom really pass away? Yeah? She was stabbed right no my dad was stabbed. Oh right right wasn't she a prostitute she was a prostitute

So she was that by saying that money. Are you saying I was a prostitute? You guys still had no money. I think he's just But she makes the money that's documented. She wasn't that good prostitutes don't make money Is this my mom was a six? Yeah, your mom his mom do is a shitty prostitute. My mom was like a Craigslist $120 an hour. Not even. No, is that you serious? Your mom's a prostitute?

Yeah. And she was up with that? She was a prostitute when I was younger. And then after my dad died, she relapsed and did a bunch of drugs and then kind of like moved in with us. But you were, oh, so you lived with your grandparents or so? I went and lived with my aunt in my grandma for a little while. While she was while she was prostituting. I don't exactly have a clear picture. I just know I know some things. What did they tell you though

when they they're gonna live your aunt and grandma. Somebody asked me I got to go make some could make out. I don't know what it's going to be. SJW420, God fuck it, bless you. I was going to donate to the fund so I could shave my head. That's right. 40 grand. 40 grand, make it happen. I think we should do it for five. Five grand, yeah.

No. 100 grand. 100 grand. If I just gave you $5,000 grand, yeah. No. A hundred and thirty five grand. If I just gave you $5,000 cash right now, went to an ATM and said, fuck it. You in shave your head? Five Gs? No. Five Gs?

No. I shaved my head for five Gs. You're already bald. Can you get it? Nips. I, uh. Not great. Anyways.

I think you're just lying about your mom being a pro. So I think you're trying to like pick up some rich or prior type of story. Why would I lie about that? Comedians love this tragic back. Yeah, you love it, man. This is almost for a couple of years. All right, she's alive. She lives in Connecticut.

We have a really nice house. It's unbelievable. If your mom is really a pro, you'd be a much better comic. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh Shit Adrian thanks for showing up Well, you don't tell any prostitution It was just fucking great the whole time now. There's so many mean things I want to say I just don't want to go that I can only rip on you Yeah, we rip on each other. I don't sure Everyone out what you list there's a bunch of things I wanted to say

We were close Adrian come on. I go about me. I thought we were close. Adrian, come on, I'm very successful. I know. You're successful. So let's just get your success in a perspective, okay? Chris Rock, wait a minute. I'm trying to make it. I'm trying to make it real comfortable.

Make it run to me, Bobby. Don't take it away. Chris Rock is successful. You are successful. I know. You are successful. Yeah, you're one step above commercials. Whoa, Bobby. That's generous.

That was pretty good. That was generous. It's MTV. He has nine shows on MTV. No, I think you're taking the guy court for that. I think I might have to. I'll be honest with you dude, that was uncalled for. Dan Soda's fucking making a movie.

Oh, it's an indie flick. Dude, it's a... Straight to Netflix, come on. How do you know? But fucking making a movie. Oh, it's an indie flick. Dude, it's a, oh Jesus Christ. It's a Netflix, come on. How do you know? But it's a movie. He's a lead in a movie. I didn't know he was making a movie. He's a lead in a fucking movie.

Are you upset that you have so many shows on MTV and you don't have a movie? I have actually done a movie. What was it? Where was it? It, uh, Shimmer's list. You play one of the bodies in a pile. It was, you played the bottom arm in torso. Shimmer's list. You play one of the bodies in a pile

You played the bottom arm and torso All right, God, God, why is this guy tapping his finger? I need attention all the time Body and be boxing underneath that Why is that body have new kicks on? Why is he wearing Jordans those jeans are too tight? What is this? 1940 is that body tweeting right now during the filming? Someone mess up his hair That's good

What's the movie? No, I shot a movie called Victor, but I was never a lead or anything like that It was definitely was an indie. I'm sure it's not even close to a big deal as he is his movie. Is this the one that I think? Look, first of all, any movie that you do is for a big deal. That's amazing. If we're gonna set it, what do you mean? I was like in the 50 cent movie. You were? Which one? What did you play? Like the one random white person that's like in the background. That doesn't count.

Wait a minute. This is a great way of bragging you were in a movie. Why not? What's shitting on yourself? It's like a background. Like a background. What 50 cent movie were you in? My dog was in the soprano.

I was like, it doesn't matter. You fucking took a dog in a casting call? My mother did. My mother got a dog in the soprano. What's your good idea on the soprano? You are in a 50 cent movie. No, I just Lied I was they paid me but I was on that I was on some other stupid movie as a background person you just walk around Lines

But Dan is has lines. He's like a He's the lead it's about him. It's about him and this girl a romantic lead and a romantic lead with that But then can act. How do you know? That's what I'm actually you don't know he does he can't act you do not just get to go Oh, I can act you've just study acting no Dan connect because I saw him in a sketch. We did I And no, and he was really fucking funny. First of all, I don't like, we're all funny.

I think that comedy gives you the ability to act. I think comics are good actors. They just, some of them, I think, they just don't have to, I think comics are horrible. Some, some are good though. You're good. Thank you.

You're real good. I did a pilot with you. And when you walked in, I actually already got the part at that time. So I was doing the auditions with the other actors coming in. He came in, this guy came in before him, actor, Broadway, fucking annihilated.

This kid was great. Shultz you walked in, I was like, oh, fuck, I gotta watch this shit. I gotta watch this in nightmare and then Pretendi was good into his face. No, you know what, you was like, oh, fuck, I gotta watch this shit. I gotta watch this nightmare and then Pretendi was good and it was face. No, you know what I mean? This guy, this guy fucking came in and stole it.

And it was weird to see that. He stole it from the guy who just annihilated. This guy, I bought a prop. And here's a thing, we were my secret. You were my secret? Yeah, oh my god. That's why I said there's a difference between doing like background work that's nothing, I'm being in a movie. Well, Shult god. That's why I said there's a difference between like background work that's nothing,

and being in a movie. Well, she'll see that you didn't do acting classes, don't you? I didn't do acting, but there was something. Wait, what is Victor about? It's about a kid, a guy that got into the drug scene in Brooklyn back in like the 60s or 70s or something like that. And I just played a guy that was with him in rehab

and tried to school him on rehab. I don't know what it depulate rehab. Depated it took place? Some shit, I don't really rehab. I don't know what epilei rehab. Did you hate it, took place? Some shit, I don't really, I wasn't a pet. Glad you read the script. I just read the sides. Sores an unbelievable actor. Sores like incredible.

He goes into characters, he can improvise, it's amazing. You just said he was. He's a fun omen. He's a fun omen. Oh, okay, I thought you said he wasn't. We, brother, I love you. Let's get together at the end of the movie and ride away on the sunset!

Yeah! Oh! Oh! What do you want to do? You want to make out on the sunset? Oh, you want a pretty nice pretty woman, yeah? Baby! Not only like a soda, actually, clearly he's the anchor of this pub cut.

Let's be soda! Oh, yeah, brother. I feel like a soda act clearly he's the anchor of this pumpkin. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha either got or you don't got and when I talked from the second I met him when Joe DeRose brought him to my house and I told my wife this after the first show podcast he did I was like I just like this guy I fucking like him a lot there's just something about him that you cannot not like he's got that thing and Lewis you don't I don't have it I don't have it Joe list doesn't have it that's so funny because I've heard so many things we have the exact same thing You don't. I don't have it. I don't have it. Joe List doesn't have it. That's so funny, because I've heard someone say we have the exact same thing about you. We had what, the exact same thing you just said about Sodor?

Yeah, I was at, I was upstairs and somebody literally said that by the table. They're like, hey, you know, just, how do you not laugh at that guy? You just come to the stage. Well, laughing is one thing, liking is another thing. I don't think so, it's funny at all. I don't laugh at it, but I smile.

I smile. I smile. Now, to funny at all. I don't laugh at it. But I smile. I smile. I just like it. Where a sunshine isn't funny, it's just nice. Yeah, not talented. I'm not going to get people to stink cancer. Hey, Joe, you alright? Oh yeah, I was thinking that so does like, he's like the cool kid in high school.

It was still nice to the dorks. It's the way how he comes across to me. Yeah, he is that guy. He's the guy that separates from the fucking jox and says, Hey, dude, you all right? And he's yeah, that helps you up and gives you know, so does the one who punches you in the face and says, stay down. Don't worry. Well, when the jox are going to beat you up and then the one guy And then to stay down. Oh, you make me he's helping you out. You know what I'm saying? I know to say why you punched me for real though

I'm a lesbian apparently yeah Don't punch the lesbians No, cuz we'll be really upset and comedians be why I think comedians We have that thing now. Hey Bobby. Why it says Google in frayard and call me an idiot hey crime Somebody no, it's that I googled in frayard and it called me an idiot. Hey, crime. Somebody. No, it's that I Googled and called me an idiot. Oh, sorry. I keep reading what I want. Was it ready in your defensive tone?

She was a shitty prostitute. That's terrible. That's about your mom. So I think, look, I like acting a lot. I went on that audition today, but the auditions are the things that kills us, I think, because if you can give a comic a part and say, this is just go ahead and do it, I think a lot of us would be better. But when you have to go

into that room, you improv in the audition? Yeah. No. Really? No. Do you? When you go on auditions? I do, well, I go on tape a lot. Yeah. Okay. So, and a lot is not a lot. Yeah, okay. So and a lot is not a lot at all. But when you print the opportunity to do it and and when I go on tape, I do improv, but only because I'm not good at saying lines that are other people's. I'm way more acting. Yeah, acting I'm not good at that thing. But if I can say some shit that I would say, then I can get into it. I look, I don't think there's a rule whether you do it or not. I mean, there's some people that come in, you know, instead of, like they're supposed to be driving

a car, when I did that other side, when I was audition, I saw people come in and do the steering wheel. Then I saw people in it sucked, and then I saw people come in and just sit there and we didn't just did the scene. It was awesome. And it was awesome. It depends on what technique you are, because different techniques will tell you to do different

things. Like certain people will say actually pantomime and actually do it. People will tell you if you don't have a steering wheel in front of you, don't follow it at all. It's what you make you better. But like when I go in, I went in today for a part and I get the lines down, try to figure out what that guy was trying to get that, what does that character want from the other person in the scene?

What am I trying to get from them? And then I get the lines down and figure out the beats inside of that. You find the funny that's supposed to be in there. I'll find what they're trying to do. I think funny is different though. When you're doing a dramatic role, or when you're playing somebody, it's not funny. It's easier, right?

Way easier, dramatic than time. I think it's easier for us. For us, it's not easier. Comedy for us, if we're not writing it a saying, it's not funny. I would say this. I would say that. I think whether it's in comedy's hard for comedians

is because we're used to saying the funny thing. Work with this is the most fun. No, no saying the funny thing. This is the fun slide. No, no, no, no. Exactly what I just said. No, but what I'm saying is in movies and shit like that, nobody's trying to be funny. They're accidentally funny, right? It's like the situation that just happens around you and you're like, huh, what's going on?

So I think the people who are detached like a Zach Alphanakis, those types of people who play like a character, if you're playing up a character They that lends them self to acting but that character he plays is the character he's done on stage as a Compton he's being casted as himself that's what that's what he's being casted as himself Judith Freeland it was cast as himself He was amazing in that I'm not saying juda juda juda is a great act American splendid I'm gonna do it. So does a great as'm saying that he you know Tracy Morgan was cast as himself but that's what i'm saying is literally the funny isn't the joke that you're delivering the funny is just you in that scene not knowing what's happening i think has in common we

rely on instinct so much and just kind of being funny in the moment that when you're reading lines and you're thinking about all right motivation in the scene remembering the lines all this other shit that you're literally just numbing that instinct of being in the moment that when you're reading lines and you're thinking about all right, motivation in the scene, remembering the lines, all this other shit, that you're literally just numbing that instinct of being in the moment and being funny. No, no, because what your job is is to get the lines down, learn the beats so well that those fade into the background. And then you can, well, that's, this is literally the point that I was going to make was you have to get yourself to a point where you're not thinking about the lines,

you're not thinking about the motivation, you're not thinking about the motivation, you're not thinking about the mental preparation. And that's why I say, you can't just be a good actor. You have to understand what preparation is. You can't just be a good comic. You can't just come out and go, oh, I'm good now. You know, you have to literally come in and day in, day out every single night, go over jokes again and again and again.

And after a few years of doing it and just understanding how your mind and body reacts to that moment, then you become good and that's finding your voice. And there's the same thing in acting. There's such thing as finding your voice as an actor. And I've done acting classes for a year or two on and off. I'm still trying to find myself. It's not a comfortable thing yet. You're talking about comedy.

Oh, I'm sorry. But it's easy to pretend to be serious. You can't pretend to be funny. I wish you could try right now. I was just quoting a famous movie actor. Maybe I've heard of him. Peter O. Lewis Gomez. I mean, Peter O. Toul. I confused Toul and Lewis Gomez.

So kind. You know, he wins. I will bail out of the competition right now. That was a good one. You're not bowing out. You're trying to ball out because you know you're not going to win. He's 22 fucking gold. So gay, get the fucking Gomez. I think that I sleeves. Yeah, get it. You got to get the Gomez to fucking win. For them Gomez. I don't know what the fucking go my sleeves. Yeah get it. You got get the go mites to fucking win Go maves. I don't know what the fuck your shitty fans are the blow-outs

Look at this. They're all votes What is it I said no text blast when a text blast i got the tax by the way he said do them try to do this thing with the police vote for me i got the text and then you said he's gay and he said oh sorry that wasn't supposed to be for you wait i don't understand you're sending out a black you getting people i'm winning this fucking thing and i'm hosting the show and i'm taking it to the top i hope you do i'm gonna bring in all the two days with story fans and then you'll

see then we'll see who's laughing Well fucking will be driving around in a Mercedes with the drop top down rolling up on people trying to finish shelty over here He's made shelty uncomfortable very All right listen, we're gonna wrap this motherfucker up Joe you're right. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. Oh that Joe Oh, sorry, I like your elite lacks camp shirt. Thanks. This is my ex girlfriend's I'm wearing my ex girlfriend's t-shirt Is your girlfriend now fucking hate that? She's all right with it. Okay, it's a t-shirt I don't wear it because I miss her I wear it because it fits well. That's it well. It doesn't fit good Bobby. It fits well It does good though way to wrap up the show, have it full circle.

Mmm. Look, what was that? Don't worry. Joey Mackie. Why'd your teeth move when you did that? They might be loose. I got Crest Whiteening strips today. They arrived in the mail.

Oh, you're new man. Next time you see me. Did you get custom ones? You ordered them in mail? No, they sent them to Crest. I've been on custom ones on those teeth. The company crest happened. They would see me on the Columbia Broadcasting System recently

and they sent me crest whitening strips. Really? Out of fucking pity? Went on tie this? Why, that's not, that's a fucking viciously mean joke. And nobody laughed. Ah, Jesus, give me the, I want to end with it. You're a jerk.

That's so fastuka of me. Who's not getting any cross-white neck strips? You. Oh, wait, do you have extras? Think about the friends and family? Yeah, dog. They sent me a letter. Can I have some, bro?

They didn't send you a lying. They sent you a bunch of them. They didn't send you a lifetime supply. They sent me a huge bunch. How much? It's a big box. How big? He said it's big. How big? He said it's 14 by 18. Yeah, and you got 60,000 people that listen to your show. Yeah, I'm

gonna send each everyone that listens to Tuesdays with Storiga, Storiga, Storiga, and whitening Street. I hope that I hope they sue you because you don't do it. Bobby, you know what? Check under your chair right now. Oh my god, you gave me catch whitening strips. Thank you, Joe. Alright, we're gonna wrap this up. Joey. Yes, sir. I'm doing pretty good. Thank you, Joe. All right. We're gonna wrap this up. Joey Yes, sir. I know buddy. I'm doing pretty good. Thank you for having me. This is a lot of fun. Sorry I didn't Joe. How do you feel about the Syrian conflict? Well boy that that is a quagmire sir. Are you I ran or you? I'm actually Italian Irish Yeah, Mackie MECHI. You're really Italian. Yep. Yep, Mackie's lackeys. Check, check, check, check, set on Twitter. What is that?

Was that, is that your Twitter? No, it's, I'm trying to, I'm trying to start my own list of Dominiax and go white and go white. So I should have Apple Luchies and spell it Apple Luchies. I have, I have just Apple and then Uchi's. Ooh, Chi. Apple, Apple Luchies. apple and then Uchi's. Oh, she. I have a cheese. Apple. Oh, cheese.

Oh, God. That's the name of your fan. Apple. Oh, she is. She's called dudes. The dudes. No. Yeah, you have the dudes. You're just leeching off of dudes. You're the fucking dudes, man. Do you have to have your own thing? They're the dudes the fucking dudes show up The the dudes were there this weekend in Toronto the dudes the bobbits. No the dude bobbits. I don't want bobbits I like bobbits. I don't give a fuck what you like bobbits. No the dudes. What about the the dumpties? No I don't want the dumpties. I got the dudes I don't want the dumpties I got the dudes I like the dumpties I don't like we don't go But scoppos yet I don't like the scopians. Yeah, scopians. That's good

I don't like fucking show these fucking long model legs. They keep slapping We need a shawl for him. He is beautiful fucking legs Look at them, Jesus Christ. There should be a no-short policy. This is two weeks through. Yesterday he had a trebuchet knees. So whatever, what is it? Oh, his fat, Lewis has fat legs.

And the shelves though, at least very considerate. Thank you. Goma sits like this when he was over here. With his legs spread like a day out. Goma can't see the way you're sitting. Yeah, they can. Joey, there's no mask. He's no.

Fucking three cameras. The cameras are pointing at his legs. Yeah, they are. You fucking idiot. three cameras the cameras are pointing at his legs Yeah, they are you fucking idiot. Bummits. They're right here. We're looking right at what he did You dumb fucking dumb dumb dumb Some complaints before that I brought it up when I joke didn't work that I thought should have and some of the list of maniac List of maniacs don't mind but the go mind some the smellies whatever smelly's whatever you call the dude they're called the fucking dude all right well the I don't want the apple-eared cheese apple oh Jesus miss it but here's the answer to your question yes yes did you guys miss when I

study takes after his mother like spread he takes after his mother we did miss that's the thing that's the alright. You gotta let it go, man. No way, bro. I'm gonna joke as missing. And it's something too. No way, dog. Well, either the shelties do it that way. There was actually, they were the sheltomaniacs.

Well, the wholeomaniacs, sheltomaniacs, that's what it is. We got it. You know what I mean? Okay, so I got it. Just clarify. Yeah. Look, I know I said in Fred, but I got it. I'm not the only one with all the listeners out there either. Ah, fuck off. Yeah, look, I know I said in Fred, but I got it. I'm not talking about all the listeners out there either.

Ah, fuck off. Hey, Joey? Yes, sir. Fuckin' love them. Can you just come every week just to make me feel good? Oh, yeah, I'll be here all the way. Next, Nick, was it? Two, say, you'll be here next, two, say.

Well, I'm actually hosting next week, so we'll see what happens. Yeah, Joe gets to pick the people. Oh, cool. Right now we already have, if you win, we have Mark Norman on the show, is that okay? Yeah, that's all right. He already does a podcast with them. Yeah. Yeah, but you know they might not be working out, you know what I mean? We're working out big time. I think my shirt off if you want. Go ahead. Take it off. I can't just lady here. Well,

why'd you say it? There's two. All right, what do you got, buddy? What do you get to promote? Oh, weird personality. Meet me and Sam Morrill. We do the show at Caroline's every week on Sundays at 9.30. What's it called? It's called the Sam and Joe show. We put a lot of thought into that. And you can check me out on Fox News's red eye this Friday at 3 a.m. Oh, I love the red eye. You do that with those guys? Yeah, I play a reporter that's scared of everything. Much like the comic that's scared of the podcast. Yes, sir, I'm scared of a lot.

That sounds a lot of yields, but what's the name? Are you really scared? No, I just... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It takes me a little while to get one stop dude. You did fine today I'm telling you right now you came on and you were yourself and you had some good lines and you funny Building this shit up. He's a grown man And one of the finalists on last comic standing he knows what he's doing. Do you mean shout your mouth? Do you mean shit him? All right, do you mean shit him? What when you say building building this shit up? Is he the shit? No building him up. Yes, I want you to stop building. I'm not building

my back. I know what he's doing. I'm on to Mackey. What do you mean? He's a savvy, intelligent beast. You think this is all bullshit? You're too falling into his trap. You did a great shot. You had some good one liners. Well, you are, you are killing it. You are right about the beast portion of that. Yes, sir. I am quite bad. First of all, you get me in the wake. I'll see you in the wait room, my friend. He's gonna, sir. I am quite bad. First of all, you get me in the way. I'll see you in the wait room, my friend. He's gonna walk us. I'm waiting to see her at fucking seconds. First of all, she's online. Okay. The fuck? I did bad today. He's not a good guy. That's guy Jesus. You're a great

actor. That's what it is. No, you did great. Um, so you all right, so go see your show on Tuesdays If you haven't had me on it. Sunday. No, it's Sunday, but we we definitely would okay great. That's all I'm not gonna do it I just wanna know okay Adrian, what do you got? I'm doing laugh Boston July 10th to the 12th. I heard that club's great I'm sure it is I'm not brand new club brand new club in Boston. What are you there? 10. It's in the new part of south Boston, the convention center part.

It used to be a shit hole. I had it really nice. It used to be the shittiest part of Boston. All the rock clubs were there. You'd fucking take your life in your own hands when you went down there. Bobby felt right at home. Rocks everywhere. It was unreal. I may still take my life down there, but. They redid the whole thing, it's fucking awesome. Not too late. They actually had a hotel there. I forget which one it was, they refused tips.

They could not, like the Bellman, anybody helped you, you could not, they were like, we cannot take tips. Like I usually tip people when I go to a hotel. Nobody would take a tip. Why? I don't know, it's against the hotel rule. Craziest thing ever, but it actually relieved me

of like, how do I teach, how much, how much the valet, the bell, you know, it took all that pressure out. So anyways, go ahead. And I'm doing that access thing on the third of July. What you mean access life? Yes. That's a great show. It's a fucking real fun show.

Live, it's fucking live and uncensored. Wow. That's great. Well, don't. You don't have to not be you. I'm going to curse a lot. All right. How many curses are you going to do?

At least five or six. All right. Cool. If you do under, we'll be very disappointed. All right. So access live you'll be on and check her out in Boston. I've got a lot of fans from Boston to the show. Make sure you go down to the brand new club that is on the pier, I believe, or down with a convention center is and check her out in Boston. I've got a lot of fans from Boston to listen to the show. Make sure you go down to the brand new club

that is on the pier, I believe, or down with a convention center is, and check her out. Lewis, what do you got? Guys, Wednesday, July 2nd, a headline in comics that Foxwood, but Chris Scopo's open in the show. Woo!

Dave Smith will be there. We are going to make it a real-ass show. It's a Wednesday, guys. I know that normally you do not go to a casino on a Wednesday or headliners play on Wednesday. What? This Wednesday July 2nd is going to be a special night for the go-mites. Go-mites, come out, let me know if you're fan-wild. What night are you middling? The rest of the week, I will be middling for Joe DeRosa, but I'm not promoting

that. Are you really not promoting Joe's show? I'm not fucking having people go see Joe. They're coming to see me. I Mean you should be you all right, so if you can't make it Wednesday come Thursday through Sunday and see who whoop to do Joe to Rosa Jesus Christ. You gave me he put you on the show, right? You put me on the show. They put me on the show. Yeah, but he allowed it Well, you be a pretty dick move to take me on the show. Yeah, but he allowed it. Well, it'd be a pretty dick move to take me off the show. Well, you're not, you're not right now. Listen, you go see Joe DeRosa, Thursday, Thursday, if you're a fan of the YKWD podcast,

you know and love Joe DeRosa. Me and Dave Smith will be there the rest of the weekend with Joe. If you're around on Wednesday, come out on Wednesday and watch me headline. Go see Lewis on Wednesday, support him, show him love, fill the room up, and then go see them again later in the week. I'm sure there's fucking free tickets available somewhere

to one of those shows. Go to my website, portareganrattlesnake.com, check out other dates and info. And follow me on Twitter at LewisJ Gomez and do not vote for Joe List in this survey. You have time right now to retweet, retweet, share, whatever you can do on Facebook, whatever social media you have,

get the link and then tell your friends and their friends to vote for Chris Scopo, Kelly Fistuka, Dan Soda, Joe List, or Lewis J Gomez to host next week's show. Joe, what do you got? Oh, I got a big one, Bobby. I usually just blow off this time of the show, because I'm worn out from all the jokes

and carrying the whole group. But right now, I got to really bring it. This weekend, I'll be headlining the stress factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. And it's a bad weekend, because no one goes out fourth of July weekend. That's not true. So they say, well, we'll get...

No, that's true. You go, sorry. Yeah, so if you list a maniacs out there you know might's you apple and cheeses you do it's you're mackey might whatever the hell you make a lack is in the and your show to maniacs we need them all this gather up and i don't know a lot of people from jersey listen to the show because it's a very kind of you know joe list will not disappoint what is a point he will not disappoint. Won't disappoint.

He will not get a standing. Oh, you're not gonna want to stand, but he will. No, Joe Lists is one of the funniest guys out there right now. He is the next motherfucker coming up. So go see Joe this weekend. All you Jersey motherfuckers. Bring your friends and bring their friends

and go down there and support Joe on his. I'm very happy that all you guys are starting a headline and the way they keep headlining is if you guys show up and support them and show love, not all of them are on TV shows right now, that they can, his show isn't even out yet though. I'm showing it on every Thursday. Is it out?

They've shown the preliminaries inside my finals. Okay, great. So, yeah. So, Joe needs help. I need help. So, come out, because it out? Oh, yeah, they've shown the preliminaries and semi-finals. Okay, great. So yeah, so Joe needs help I need help so come out cuz it's a it's a big opportunity. I'm excited to come out and then All my new England list of maniacs go see Adrian she's hilarious We probably you don't think she is cuz she's a girl, but she's amazing. He girl is awesome very funny I'm not really even that girl. Hey, who is opening for you? I don't know. Really? He doesn't bring his own opener, which is weird to me. Well, because it's first time headline. You get what you first time. Yeah, who I bring. Yeah, no, you say you say, Hey, dude, can I bring my opener? Who cares? You're care. Your self says I can't wait to see a woman get punched in the face at Foxwoods.

Wow, I tweeted that. Oh Wow, I tweeted that. Oh, yeah. Stretch factory next weekend, this weekend. Show to your third, fourth, fifth. Show to what he got. And yeah, if you want to check out a guy code every Wednesday, are you plugging a TV show on the podcast? Yeah, it's important.

People listen. I got a podcast, too. You can listen to my podcast, me and a buddy, Charlemagne have a podcast. What's that called? Never had a bump in my career. It's called the brilliant idiot. It's been easy.

It's called the f**k. Huh. People should hate me. Top 10. I didn't even know what a podcast was when I started this. Exactly. It's called the bald. I'll never go bald, brilliant idiot. No, no, I've made sure that I will not go bald.

Now, pro-P-show. Oh, good for you. Thank you, man. Sure, see, good to have you on. I was always good. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Awesome time.

Scropa, what do you got? That besides opening for him. Yes, that's basically it. All right, no, get me on Twitter at Chris Scopo. Yeah, follow, fuck it, Scopo. Would you ask, holes? And vote for Scopo. Well, it's not a carried away.

Okay, don't look at that. But let's start with following him. Yeah, I want Scopo to get some followers. If you follow me, go find Chris Scopo and follow him. Scopo is literally more likely to become the mayor of New York than when this competition. It's not going to happen. He's got four votes. I got 15, 15 slow starter. I'm a strong finisher. The Scopians are coming out mostly my family. Just like the girl adjurek me off in the basement. basement. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. All right. Bobby, you're going to be at the comedy works in Denver, Colorado, the 31st to the third. Yes. Check you out.

And then you're at August 7th, 8th and 9th, 10th. You're at standup live in Phoenix, Arizona. Yeah. Don't leave it. That's the, yeah, both of those clubs are real fun. Yeah. And then you get a break for a while But then yeah, go to yeah, I actually I just found out I got an offer from Montreal Comedy festival I will be doing Montreal again this year. Oh, nice. So I don't know the show I heard a couple of shows. They're actually really good shows So I'll be in Montreal Canada again this year, which I love you know

I love just for laughs people. I love doing the shows I know it's sad man. That's where I met my girlfriend really that's very sad that they're fucking close It was a great club. Who's it got Jimbo home? Yeah great guy Well, it's it's gonna be a great I love love if everybody here is going to Montreal correct, right? You went no, you actually know oh Lewis, did you not go? What can I have whatever I have to sign scuffle cuz I got to go my babysitter's waiting okay? Yeah, so it's gonna be great

This is my betroth is waiting Do you call your wife a babysitter? Cause it's professional. Okay. Ooh, he's really mad. Nah, he's not mad. He doesn't get mad at me. I'll take it easy, buddy.

I'll see you later. I love it. So, make sure, what is he, all right, forget it, what is. I make sure this week I'm going to a Rubus. So you guys listen and live. I don't know if anybody's going to a fucking Rubus. Is that weird?

Check it out. And tonight, I'm gonna give you Rubas. So you guys listen in live. I don't know if anybody's going to a fucking Rubas. Is that weird? Check it out. And tonight, I'm going to give you the stats right now. Real quick on who is, oops, you fucking twat motherfucker. I made a copy again. Right now, who is winning the, here we go, right now. Oh my God. Lewis J, oh Lewis came back.

Come on, get out of here. I'm gonna show you. Louis J Gomez, you ready? Scopo is till at 15. Ah, Kelly's at 79. If I lose the fucking Kelly, okay, dance soda just made a push, 206. Oh, for dance soda, he came up fast.

Louis J Gomez, whoa, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? Oh shit, Joe List is $2.99. Yeah. Lewis J Gomez, $356. That's a lie. It's $356.

Lewis J Gomez, $356. Oh. Lewis J Gomez 356 Lewis J Gomez is at 37% of the votes right now. You heard it here. What's the thing? What I was told recently by somebody you can vote over and over again. Yes, probably got some fucking Puerto Rican tribal. Yeah, you're So for Puerto Rican I tried there's no tribes Look at it. Tell me he didn't come to a tribe. All right. He did come from a tribe. All right Here we go guys

Everybody the condor is in the building the condor is in the building So this is gonna sub be on the thing. What's that you tell him about who's gonna sub be when you're away? Yes, somebody we have we have a pole going on the internet right now. You can vote. I saw it. Okay, we have what do you vote for I voted for Dan you really did Yeah, I almost vote over Lewis and I say what am I doing? I wasn't even a thought what about your list. I host a very So this is on the Joe list I couldn't I don't know Joe well enough to mean him right now Joe Lewis better than you know me Joe list no no no Joe I'm going against Lewis. I didn't actually you know, but you said you said all about it

I kind of abstained on you What the fuck was that? Why you out of breath? I just had a what happened nothing. I was just I was just thinking about who I thought would Keep it moving. Yes I thought damn it. Keep it moving. I think Dan would keep it moving. I agree with you I think if I had to vote it keep the listeners moving to a different podcast All those might be too much about himself. Yeah, oh absolutely. Yeah, you're absolutely true about that

Have you met Joe? This is known the owner of the pot, huh? I'm gonna introduce you to this is Adrian. This is known the owner of the pot whole place. Supposed to introduce women for a saleswoman. She I did. Oh, I'm kidding. Joe Mackie. Joe Mackie. The last one of the one of the last 10 on last comic standing. Oh, I heard about you. Congratulations. Oh, appreciate. Thank you. I actually met the girl the girl with the glasses. The little the little girl. Deanna? Yeah, from Canada? Yeah. She did a show with me up in Toronto.

She's really funny. Yeah, she's funny. And she's really nice too, really cool girl. And she's doing Access Live coming up next week. What's that? Okay. I should have went to the first news. No, that's the show they do at the comedy.

The... Gotham. when he first met him. No, that's the show they do at the comedy. The, oh, it's the, Village, the David Tell show at Gotham. Same thing, except it's on Access Life. And not as good. Oh God, I didn't say that. I love all the shows for comics. No, what made it on? It's on Access TV.

Direct TV. Direct TV. It's channel nine, eight, four, six, three. What's Access TV? Access TV is an HD channel that, Mark Cuban owns it. Mark Cuban owns it. It's channel 98463. What's access TV? Access TV is an HD channel that... Mark Cuban owns it. Mark Cuban owns it. It's a really great... It's one of my favorite channels, actually.

They have live music. They have this... They show they do over there. It's live. So there's no going back. There's no fucking up. You know, you... Once they're on Direct TV only, it's on Direct... No, I got an on Verizon.

You can get it up when we live. Really? Yeah, when we live. live you know because we're neighbors uh... uh... we live up out of tracks from my town west i don't know isn't it no mingreenberg it's close but that we're very close what's that yeah you can get it all over New York City time warn it doesn't have to

but that i get it in quince yeah it's great you. I actually like it. And I think what Comedy Central responded to when they saw that happen and it was a hit, which is uncensored comedy. They didn't do the live, but they did uncensored. And Comedy Central with Dave Show, which is fucking phenomenal, and at the village underground, which, you know, I'm fond of, they did their version of it, which I thought was great, which is uncensored, which I think Comedy great, which is unsensitling,

which I think comedy should be. Even if you're clean, even if you're not that dirty, if you do not have to worry about, you can say whatever you want, I think, gives the purest form of comedy. Thoughts? I agree. I would agree.

And messing up is also funny, like if you're flubbid yokets. It's interesting. You know, everything's so perfect on television. I think you're right. Yeah. I think you're right. We're leaving a couple of little things in my thing where I fucked up a little bit and said something.

There were some weird things. Bobcat coming out, that should be an extra. It is gonna, yeah, we're gonna use that I think to promote the show. And we're gonna have it on the DVD. That was classic. Yeah, that was pretty cool. So that's it, we're leaving.

How was your show? Did you do your show yet? I'm not doing it, I can't sling it why uh... natter was out of town and then uh... i got it i got a call from the guy at xm and he gave me some notes and uh... i'm just i'm not in a mood really you got notes on your show yeah you get a positive notes really he complained about natterman are you getting really what he said about that it's a nat complained about Nathamin. Are you kidding me? What do you say about that? I'm an admin interrupts too much and he bickers too much and this is the guy. Did I have a call you and give you notes? No, you know, I want to talk to you. I want no I wish I was I have a bone to pick with you

Okay, this dick everywhere what is going this everywhere turn my head this one dick? There's another one over there. What's that? There's one sitting on the cat lunch. It's true. No, I was over there. There was a hidden dick. We have two dicks over here. Well, the Kelly had him over on the table as you walked in. I go, no, no, no, no. I go put them over here with them. Bobby, here's the thing. I got nothing to do. Three hour show.

No, I'm sitting down. Let's have a fun. Yeah. Why don't you have one of you have him? You have all these guys that might come on. Would you go on a show live at the state table? Sure. Adrian, would you go on? Sure. Joe, would you go on? You have all these guys that might come on. Would you go on a known show live at the St.Table? Sure. Adrian, would you go on? Joe, would you go on? I did it last week.

No, I just didn't even remember. Of course I remember. I just canceled. I just canceled. I brought it up the other day. Much earlier in the show, that your donations, you're very, I don't know. My bone to pick with you is this.

You talked about the show. Yeah. What is it? Nothing. What did you do? You donated to his show? No is it? Nothing. What did you do? You donated to his show? No, you got to go. I donated to Ted Alexander.

Oh yeah. All right, so here's the deal. You last week. It's easy to ask for money nowadays. No, I think that's great. Really? I think that Dan put me on the spot. But I'm not, I was happy.

I was happy. Everybody asked for money. It's so easy. You just asked for money. We don't have to give it. No, yeah, but there's like no shame like it used to be you'd have to be like oh man It'd be really awesome if you could I would so appreciate it And now it's just like give me money man. I got it. They still do that nobody does a Kickstarter that says give me money man And I'm say hey, you don't have to do it if you don't I don't know I like the idea of like everything's on the line for you.

Like, you're not going to be able to do it. No, you can say no. You can say look, I'm not going to get it. I supported it. I supported it. I just gave the three charges this week. And then there was one guy actually do, can you retweet this?

And I was like, I can't. I can't. I don't, first of all, I don't believe whatever this fucking is. I know it's for you and it would help you, but I'm not really into it, so I'm not going to do that. Because I'm it's for you and it would help you, but I'm not really into it, so I'm not gonna do that. Cause I'm not gonna just retweet everything

or support every cause, but you can pick and say no. But here's the thing that bugs me, is when people in the forum, for the thing they're trying to raise money for, they make it about why should we? Like, it's like, dude, don't do that here. What do you mean? Why should I, why should, like the Arty thing?

They were like, why should we, why Why should I why should like the already thing? They will like why should why should we? Why should why should we give him money if Walmart is gonna you know pay for everything? And I was like well first of all that's a thought you have in your head You make that decision in your own brain and say I'm not doing this you don't try to fuck be That's a decision you make you don't ask for permission or have a form to do that You know I'm not talking about tragedy. I'm talking about like you know your own creative endeavors. Yeah, that's different I put up a page to lend already for qualm money until Walmart comes through the checks What do you mean whenever you want some?

You got the money, but he got to give it back to that one That's a settlement exactly it goes right to another wrong with that is it? I mean morally settlement goes to the IRS and then they divvy it out to the people that have invested money. You get a $25 check. I mean, you might get some really big donations. Well, you get a huge... You get a tax write off on all that money.

You can usually use that for your taxes next year. I don't think so. Yes, you can. No, actually. No, you cannot. Arty is not an accredited charity recognized by IRS. It doesn't have to be accredited. Yes, it does.

You just have to link. So you can donate to me and then you can write it off. Yeah, 10,000 dollars. You really believe that. No, I don't. You're making it. I have a bone to pick with you. And I want you to, on your fucking show,

you can write it off. On your, everything's a writer. This is, this is, on your own. It's like me when I first started writing shit off. I know. And everything was on my business credit. My first, my first tax thing, my knees wobbled. This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that?

This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that?

This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that?

This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is that? This is what the hell is went, Don, what are we gonna do? I was fucking, oh, it was devastated. What did you do? We paid it. I fucking took that big fat chunk of change out and paid it. You last week were talking about me being mad at you going to serious a real, a real radio show. And first of all, if we go back to how your show exists, I would think that in

somewhere you're a friend of mine, I'm happy that you're happy. I think that's what the final outcome was. Whatever makes you happy I want you to have. Right? But the original thought behind the show, I'm the one who came up with the whole idea. I'm the one who sat back there with my show and you say, I want you to do this every week and I said, you should do it every week. And from the conception of it, I had to beg and plead you to do it and then put you, I wanted you to go on the note and then we, I used to have to call up your other guys and go, look, he's going to do it. And I, I managed that podcast and and made sure that you guys, well, I had to call up Kristen and Dan and go,

look, he's gonna get back into it and talk to you. I quit for a while. Are you quit and I had to get you back into it and we really helped you with everything and even the name of it, you wanted to call it Knights of the Round Table. That's, thank you. That's the name of the podcast.

That's the name of the real radio show. The Knights of the, if I didn't name of the real radio show. The nights of the If I didn't we didn't have discussions creative discussions about everything and I helped you start it and I actually helped you get you You could actually say that if it wasn't for me You wouldn't have a radio show which you've always wanted and now you have this is not the show I want That's not the point. Okay. I'm saying is that, I wanted to talk about politics. I wanted to be like a good,

a good talk radio. But you, you have that show. You have the radio because of me. Yeah, I do. So with the bone you have to pick with me. The bone is is when you bring it up, you don't bring it up, you have Robert was mad that I left.

You won't break it. You scream the hell out of it. But what I say, no, what I say to you, I didn't scream at you, but what I say to you. You scream. I did not, we didn No, I know what I say to you. I didn't scream at you, but what I say to you. You screamed. I did not we scream. We didn't scream.

We all scream for ice cream. Let's go get ice cream on me after the show. Don't say ice cream for the Robert. So don't point to the gallery. They got it. You don't like your show? I'm not that into, I just get a sound stupid. I'm not that into a certain instant of comedy.

And nobody is. Yeah, and they want me to talk about comedy with the Canadian. So why don't you come back to Riot Cast and do a political show? Yeah. And why don't we make it a change in name and we make it a political show? Why don't you just do a political show?

Do a follow-up. Listen, comedian, I'm taking more of that. We're going to have Frank Rich from The New York Times, something next week. He's an important op-ed guy from the time. Why don't you wear a baseball hat script. What would be the show you love to do? A political show?

I don't know Frank Rich. I don't know. It's just point, I don't even know if I want to be on the radio. I don't know. It's like when I was leading a band and stuff, I knew how to do that better than anybody. I never doubted myself. Even when I would work with people who were touring with huge stars like Christina Aguilera or various people who came through the place I always knew

had it with better than and they knew I knew I had it with better than them but like being on the radio yeah I'm the thing I suck at it but I don't have that sense that oh like this is my thing how long were you playing music always always my whole life so how long you been doing a radio no No, but I'm saying I always knew how to play. He's a fantastic musician. But I'm saying it takes time to build that shit up and the radio's saying it's funny. Yeah, but it takes time to build it up.

Yeah, no. All people in radio are old. Nobody is young in radio. That's true. And the man is driving me up the wall. Why? He does, and you've seen it. He interrupts and he bickers.

I think your dynamic is hilarious. I like your dynamic. I love the dynamic too. That's hilarious. I think it's fantastic. That's what I tell you every time. There's only one fucking natterman in the world. And then there's fucking you too.

There's only one of you. This is what we're going to do when natterman is gone. We're going to have Mackie, and we're going to appreciate. I got to do a fucking whole week with natterman and Aruba. And who else and Ray Allen are you doing raise? Yeah, yeah, um, but you know whatever anyway. It's gonna be fun Anyways the enthusiasm no, I am excited. I just don't know what you know convincing yourself Hey, Robert you want to get lunch by the pool? I don't I'm I don't know what who's gonna go see who's gonna go to rubin July?

I don't know How good a sailor's deal though? rubin july? I don't know Good assail. I hear's a deal though. I've been there and I'll tell you who goes a lot of Europeans go and a lot of Dutch people go They take their holiday because it's Dutch on Yeah, it's everybody speaks English except for us every other country fucking speak that second language automatically always So I'm sorry. So I'm so the bone is thisickle. No, the bone is this, from now on, maybe... I'm an opportunist. Well, what? You are. Well, I'm glad you admit it.

But you could say, I would like to thank Robert and Ryakast for, you know, how in an award. Yeah, you did. Who said that? Who said that? Who said that? Who said that? Who said that? I don't know where.

You can be the one who said, I want to say, I want to thank Robert for, you know, what I want. I want you to say at the end of the show. Okay, I will do that. At the end of every show, I would like to think Robert and Ryakaz for making this all possible. And at the end of every one of yours, I want you to thank me for giving you the first few. We do. We do.

We do. We say stop, that's it. We do you do it by the microphones. We bought everything. So everything else is. Oh, these ones you probably found something that you donate for free. No, we bought them.

We bought them. We bought them all. We bought them for Kickstarter. all we bought them are Kickstarter Okay, what is it what is an apartment in Manhattan go for 7500 dollars a month? Okay? No for what how many better? Yeah But no, we do thank you. We thank you every day One at the end of every show five grand. All right. What do you want at the end of every show? I want you to that. Hang on a second. Stop.

I'll email you a script. Okay, but you know, it's gonna be a random show right now. So let's do it right now. How's this? Ready? Hang on. I want to affect you.

No, it's not like you know, we're in a show. It's a show. No, we're in the show. It's not like you filmed this, but it's not like you filmed this. It's not like you've created no money. Yeah, first of all, fucking ask kissing. Who's out of my eye?

Who's out of my eye? Oh, but I'm sure. I took care of you. But I, fucking ass kissing, fucking the myon. Who's side of myon? Oh, but I'm sure, I took care of you. But I'm listening, you can talk to my my- I'm sure that, no. I'm sure that, I probably, I left a little bit early. I left the show a little bit early. Got the underground, we're all in the same place. So I missed the part where he thanked me.

He actually thanked Axis Comedy Live. I really did thank you at the end of the show. I asked the fucking Lulee after the camera's on, and I called you out, he in the middle of the show, he gets up, he sits in the chair where like you can literally there's a light on you so you can see no. And I'm like, oh, no, I'm here. Better than a monocle, right?

And then you was the hot chick you're talking about. Hang on, what did you just say? Better than a monocle. All right, can you give him the bomb band-a-nd? That's for you. Put that on. Put that on your thing. I know what it means. It's stunk. Just because you own the place doesn't mean we're all gonna laugh except for fucking

Apparently, I just fucking show. I'm gonna put him in some lab. He knows because here's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal.

He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. He's a deal. here's a deal. He, so I'm sitting there doing the show. Fucking 20 minutes in, he gets up, stands, looks around,

and then leaves. He goes to leave, I go, where the fuck are you going? I'm shooting my special, and the owner, my friend, gets up and leaves, and I, like, I'm like, where the fuck are you going? I gotta go home. You asked them? Yeah, of course I did.

Who the fuck? I told my wife I'd be home. Yeah, not the other night when Dave Chappelle you stayed out all fucking night. Yeah. I think so. You know what, you're absolutely right. I would like to thank the comedy seller

for making all this possible. If it wasn't for the greatest club on the planet earth, the comedy seller, slash and the village on the ground, the YKWD and Ryakaz Network would not have a home. You and the village on the ground the YKWD and riot cast network would not have a home you and the fans and gnome dorman from the comedy sell the owner of all comedy in the west village anything that is funny can I tell you the story about Dave shepelles party can I finish my fucking awesomeness i would like to thank all them for making everything happen in comedy in the last 15 years in my life.

So thank you everybody, and I would like to thank Nome's father, God bless the soul. My God and their God. Go ahead. And I wanna thank Robert for suggesting a podcast. All right. What the fuck? That's fucking funny.

Can I tell the story? Please. I had a lesson in life, right? So I went to Dave's, Dave's should tell head and it was called a comics ball.ay. Swarray. I thought it was a swarray. Who's the box? Yeah, yeah, trust him So look at his outfit. I go there. I go there and First of all if you're been to the box. Yeah, it's like packed in like Sarge like a box. There's jungle music Like a box there's jungle music Subscribe, yeah jungle music blasting from the speakers jungle music What the fuck

Oh god I'm not deleting that that's a reference that I still eat dance long turn that jungle music down You know, I know you know what they would say and so no there's like loud hip-hop Play from the You made it worse Listen Listen from the You made it worse Listen, you could have played it on the drum and bass Listen, it's a joke. I know you're kidding. Go ahead. So Sorry guys, I walk in and riding outside

That was the That was the racial limit joke on this Steely Dan jungle music. It's a song that you get. Go ahead. So I have to have a monocle to get that joke. So, it's packed in literally like sardines. Yeah, and of course as I get there, I know a few people, a few people that know sardines is that another you've known.

I'm laughing at jungle still. So, packed in like, and get there. And of course immediately I see three, four people I know, and I'm at the bar ordering a drink. So of course, okay, everybody wanted to show us a patrone. So do you know how much a shot of patrone is at the box? $15. $18.

$25. $23. A shot. Plus a 20% included gratuitity, which is another, I would have waited 26. I would have waited 26. $26 per shot. I have no idea.

How many shots? Five people probably. All right, so I five people probably already I'm about 25 already you know plus tax that's right so I'm already you're like $150 Jewish about it we get the tax crack so I'm like this is this is crazy I'm not I'm not gonna be able to get out of here and it's it's not comfortable as pack I said I'm gonna go home so I'm walking out literally so I'm gonna go home and right at the end of the bar right by the door a bar stool opens up so I sit in the bar stool. Oh my god. This is not so bad if you're sitting and I say well, maybe yeah

So I said fuck it. I asked Gianna the weight one of my way just go find out what it costs for a table So what do you think it costs for a table? Oh? $350 for a bottle. Yeah, but you there's probably three bottle minimum no no minimum $350 for a table at an en a list party should help right on the floor. Wow, I said fuck it. I'll three hundred fifty dollars I'll get a bottle hang out with some friends and plus a discos and coffee four hundred fifty dollars tops That that's all right. Yeah, that's great. I drink all night. I sit down. We get a bottle Let me tell you something every Animal that I've ever shaken hands with in my life walks up

say no how you doing picks up the bottle and pours himself a drink because they know what yeah they know they don't ask they don't that mean is I'm never yeah yeah that happens in a club all the yeah who the fuck does that you so before I finish the first bottle I mean for finish my first drink the bottle is gone wow yeah wow so I said oh shit song and order another bottle. I mean before finish my first drink the bottle is gone. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

So I said, oh shit. So I'm going to order another bottle. Now I'm, so I had another bottle. Yeah. And that bottle starts to disappear. So I take the fucking bottle and I put it down on my feet. So I mean, I'm not proud. You know, this is crazy. I want to get at least like three drinks. Yeah. So the Michael Chase at the table. And he wants a drink now. So he orders a bottle. I'm like, well, you know, and he's a mens, you know,

so I can't let Michael Chase pay for a bottle of my table because I'm, why? Because I just get a fucking ton of cash. It's not the point sitting, I invite him to sit down with me. It's an alpha thing. No, it's not an alpha thing. I invite him to sit down with me and now, and that whatever happens there is I'm the host

He doesn't pay you don't pay let somebody pay when you're the host right and he was actually invited to sit down And one of the few people was so now I order now. I got a paper a third bottle right I mean it's $1,700 later Fuck that I'm home at five in the morning. Yeah Uh, kettle one and then they ran out of kettleettle one so they made it Bellevue dear. And then my fucking friend Steve Fabrican, best man in my wedding. Yeah, big head Steve, outdoor Steve.

Who arranged my bachelor party? That was the time I got a $2,000 bill at the end when everybody had gone home. You paid for your bachelor party? Yeah, I was the last one there. The shittiest friend. They were gonna check, I'm like, Steve, you didn't get anybody,

I was gonna get to that. I didn't get anybody to collect the money and so you had a pain. Oh, Grand oh my god So at the at the party there was this like very pretty dark skin black girl at the table Yeah, and we know it's taking a drink. So I I don't know what got in that told the waiters I said I don't know her you know, yeah, I saw yeah, I don't know Steve says Why you being mean to her?

My friend. I'm like what do you mean being mean to her? I don't even know her., why do you mean mean to her? My friend, I'm like, what do you mean being mean to her? I don't even know her. Why should I, he goes, you know her? I don't know her. Yeah, you met her one night in the VIP room and the pussy got James Smith, James Smith came in with her when he was trying to go out with her. I'm like, oh yeah, I did see her that night, I don't remember.

Says, so, I'm like, yeah, but I still, just because I've said hello to her one time, doesn't mean she could start taking drinks out of the bottle Right, I really can't believe you he says to me. Yeah, this fucking guy So I spent $1,700 for three drinks and my best friend walks out of it thinking I'm a cheap bastard Right, some girl I didn't know Couldn't drink for free out of my bottle. Yeah, fucking animals all of them all of them. I'm done with him every Aaron Alicia all the olive tree staff whatever drunk Uh, I mean off of your booze grind and grind it on Keith Robinson. What's wrong with that? Don't fuck Keith needs that

Don't take that away from Keith Robinson any normal person would would walk over it say Uh, either not say anything or can I at least say can I have a drink right but no you don't even do that you wait to be offered a drink did you see the show a little bit of it I've seen it before I know I know a girl who who sings in the show there she sings at the club not the thing I'm talking about the one with the girls eat each other's pussy but they didn't do that I don't think they eat each other's pussy's at the box yeah they that's why it's called the box and then they squirt what squirt the two glasses. I'll throw up it. I'll give you one piece on the other that. What where the fuck is this? This is the box is crazy. People shit into what the fuck is all this performance. What do you mean they shit? Was

that news? It's like a dance club. It's for less. It's like on another level. It's like have you ever seen somebody piss? I've seen people piss. I don't know I've never seen people shit What if somebody shit Michael? What would Joe? What would you do? I'd be like check please? I'm gonna go to another place where no one's pooping you don't like poop Not at a bar that I'm paying a lot of money for where do you like it? In the bathroom where it belongs. I don't why am I the bad guy here? In the bathroom where it belongs, why am I the bad guy here? Someone I agree. I'm with you.

I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I don't like squirting in my restaurant. I wouldn't go to a club that a chick squirts in a cup and she drinks it. But this club is like, it's fucking annoying. It's like try too hard.

It's contrived. Yeah. It's like we're going to be the different venue where we do all this health club. I shut that place down. That's what I say. They're making millions there. They're cleaning up. They're cleaning up.

That should be called outside the box. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So that sucks. That sucks. That's what I'm right for being upset. Yes, for sure. Yeah, it's awful. But you know what though, when you do that,

usually there's a security guard that stands there and they don't let people up unless because I've done in Vegas where you go to the bottle section the VIP and they'll they'll have a guy will say no you can't get up there unless we go come on up you'll call have a drink so the difference the difference about the box is is that usually everybody there can forward their own bottle. Right. So it's like this fancy really so it's like you just go up and yeah everybody have I'm gonna I'm dropping to grand. I'm not gonna drink out of your shit, but now you let every comedian New York City into the right waitresses and wait so it's like now we're gonna take advantage.

Hey look at it. Look at it as a fucking tax write off. You know what a tax right off is? It's a joke. You still got a pay for it. If it is a tax right off. But when you start writing shit off, you really think you don't. Like I was convinced that everything's free and that once I started in my escort. I was swiping everything. Taxes were free. They're gonna write you a refund check.

Exactly. That's how it works. Well, taxis you do get a little bit. Not for what you write off. You get like what is it? 30% off. That's how it works. Well, taxis you do get a little bit. Not for what you write off. You get like, what is it, 30% off? That's how it is. But to me, it was 100. Yeah, I am. It's reduced from the income that you pay taxes on. I really don't know how it works, to be honest. You still don't?

You save money. You save some money. You save about 30%. Yeah, because let's say you make $100,000. Yeah. And you'd have to pay 30 grand in taxes, right? So you just take that off the 30 grand. Now, let's say you spend 10,000 and you write it off.

Now, you only have to pay taxes on 90 grand. so that 10 grand is tax free so you save the 3 grand you would have had to pay on that last 10 grand 30 percent but you still got to come up with the 10 grand exactly if you're not making money you're not writing anything plus you 10 grand Chris Scopo and a 10 grand oh my god so much money I pay his dad, head grant a month, they're my garbage, and I do it happily, and I don't complain. I want to thank you guys for listening to the show. I got to go do Tom Papa show right now. He's probably for, I'm seven, I'm fucked, he's mad. I know, but I was just me there at 6.30, fuck, I'm fucked.

I'm fucked, thank you. I want to thank everybody, thank you to the comedy seller for making all this possible, and no, for being the god that he is, is that good? I'll see you guys later. Take care. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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