Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - UFC 124, Kansas City, Moe Music

Episode Date: December 13, 2010

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Hello. Robert Kelly. Do another. You know what, to the podcast. You know what dude that Joe DeRosa kindly made for me. I forgot the CD at the house. I forgot to fucking drag it onto my computer like an asshole. So I had the CD at the house. I asked I forgot to fucking drag it on to my computer like an asshole. So I had this CD.

This is Mo. The cab driver I met on my little Canadian tour. He took me to the mall. We hung out all day. I took him to breakfast. It's a fucking lunatic. And he had his own CD. It hits from the 40s

And this is it The fuck the first time I'm listening to it I'm in Kansas City right now. I'm sick. I got a fucking buggo. Whatever the fuck it is. My sinus is a fuck. I've had a runny nose for three days now. It started out with just sneezing, like an idiot for a whole day. And then, and then it turned into fucking boogie nose. So I've been congested. I'm here in Canada sick in the hotel. The hotel is fucking trash. This food everywhere. Close, shoot all over. That's what I do. When I check in a hotel, the do not disturb sign goes on for the duration of my stay. I do not clean my room. I don't get the bed made.

I get nothing done. Nothing done to this room. It's a fucking mess. And then the last night, I'll walk around and I'll fucking pick up all my clothes, throw it into the bag, zip it up. I'll pick up all the trash and put it into one corner and that's it. And then I leave a 20 on the fucking table for the made. I used to come in and keep it clean as I was going along and then I was like fuck this.

I don't like the made coveted. Fucking disturbing my shit, my mess. So I'm here in Kansas City, man. I haven't been here in a while. Kansas City improv. It's crazy, man. I remember the first time I came to Kansas City, I played actually Stanford at Sons, which was downtown, and I talk about this a lot.

It's like the fucking, it was like the Wild West man of comedy clubs. I mean, every show, there's a something on the internet called the incident that my web designer made. He went to one of my shows one night and this lady flipped out. This was a long time ago.

My first time in Kansas City. And it's Kansas City, Missouri, not Kansas City, whatever the fuck. I don't know how they fucking, I guess they mad at that shit. And just to let you know, this podcast is gonna be all over the place. I'm sick. I've been sleeping all day. Fuck me.

So my brain is just defunct fucked up and all over the place. So bear with me. Or just shut it off. You can hit fucking stop it anytime. But yeah, the first time I was here, I guess the shows are fucking real ghetto and red neck. fucking real ghetto and redneck and I remember looking on the crowd and seeing like you know just black tables of some ghetto motherfuckers and then just like you know a table you know filled with race car shit they all look you know the M&M jacket and the fucking dupe contact all that shit and it was

just crazy and some lady, I guess the host fucked with this big black lady told her to shut the fuck up and she took a beer-stein and threw it at the fucking kids head, missed them by centimeters, smashed on the brick wall, cut a guy's leg up on the front his shin and they dragged her out screaming, motherfucker I'll fucking kill you and this little thin white fucking white douche As soon as that happens I got you guys ready for your headliner and brought me up I remember I went on stage and fucking dude was bleeding just sitting there. I'm like dude. You're bleeding Is it okay? All right? I'm uh?

You know me with my weak stomach almost threw up. But last night I get in, do the show, not feeling too well, fucking exhausted. And you know, I mean a lot of you know I'm on my sixth fat right now. I'm fucking feeling like shit physically, mentally, and spiritually. And this fucking, you know, on stage, the crowd's fucking fine. Everybody's cool. But right in the front row, I knew she was going to be a problem. There's this drunk white chick and, you know, everybody has their fucking nemesis. And nemesis, sorry, I know there's somebody who just fucking heard that and was like that's not how you say it You say that shut the fuck up do I hate people like you I hate

correcters I'm gonna correct you fuck off go fuck yourself anyways That that happens to me my man. She just this chick was a little this is the new this is the thing that people don't get Talking at the table to your friend or whispering in your fucking boyfriend's ear or fucking talking to your girlfriend and asking your questions Or just repeating the joke after you hear it or commenting on the joke after every joke That's fucking heckling too Because if I if I hear you talking to your boyfriend in between every joke, every other fucking second or every other minute, I'm fucked.

I can't do my jokes. I can't think, talk, and fucking perform the fucking show with with someone fucking happening the front row. I told her nicely, a fucking bunch of times, hey, can you stop talking? I hear you talking. Why do you need to keep talking over and over and over? Nobody come up and said nothing. The bouncer's, they don't want to come up and fucking,

she's right in the front row. But fuck that, come up and grab her by the neck and throw her out, I don't give a shit. Then I got to the point where I was like, I just snapped, I was like, shut the fuck up, just shut the fuck up. It's, it's boggling, mind boggling to me that that fucking somebody would fucking, just go to a live show.

It's like, I don't know if they're so used to comedy and it's such a Everyday thing that they don't have any respect for it anymore Well, you know, they don't fucking think it's you know You know as as Important as the theater or movie or whatever You know, but if you're in a fucking movie theater watching a fucking movie that you paid $12 bucks for and some assholes whispering behind you, you want to fucking kill them. You want to stand up and say shut the fuck up. Same shit. Same shit.

That's why I love theaters because you're sitting next to people you don't know. You're not as comfortable. You're not shit-faced. You don't get to come to the club fucking shit-faced. I don't even know who would go to a fucking comedy show trashed out of your fucking mind You can't even listen to the fucking jokes. You can't even fucking enjoy yourself Anyways, I fucking snapped and then This this other girl, you know the girl got this what happens to when you tell a girl to shut the fuck up and she doesn't You know the girl got this what happens to when you tell a girl to shut the fuck up and she doesn't this what happens They usually get sad face the bouncer came over and told them hey stop talking. I want to throw you out finally They came over, you know, and she gets now she sucks. They suck, you know, that's just the fucking you know

I don't I don't get the silk guys don't get the silk You know we don't get to sulk. Guys don't get to sulk. You know, we don't sulk. Shut the fuck up, you shut the fuck up. Or you leave. Or you say fuck you. You know what I mean? Guys don't get to sulk. So she's sulk.

She got a little sad face and maybe must have up a little glossy eye and made people feel bad for it. And this one girl felt so I want you to leave her alone. That's enough. Go fuck yourself. That's enough. You know, it her alone, that's enough. Go fuck yourself. That's enough. You know, it's like, she's like, we paid money. Good fuck you, dude.

You paid money. All right, so you didn't hear her talking. All the people around her can see her visually talking and hear her talking to a boyfriend every fucking other second. And they were turning around. So now it fucks up. The people next to them, they them their show it fucks their

show up because they can't fucking enjoy it so they're gonna I'm gonna get emails from them yeah I had a good time I wish that girl behind me would shut the fuck up because it was aggravating me so I got into with this other girl and she wanted to believe it with her boyfriend which is fantastic it's it's great because that means that tells me one thing. You're not a fan, okay, you just showed up at the club. You're not a real fan of mine. You don't give a fuck.

You just showed up for a comedy show and you feel bad for this. You don't get to drunk twat, right? You don't even know what she, you don't even know the fuck and what she did or if she did it or whatever. Just because you didn't hear it, you saw her sad face, you want to stick up for another girl. Fuck you. Fuck off.

So she left, her boyfriend left and the ones that I yelled at the girl, she finally shut the fuck up. She sat there with the, I can smell dog shit but can't, you know, doesn't know where it is face for the rest of the show. Which I'm fine with. I don't care. Be miserable. Because you, it's either I'm going to be miserable.

Oh, you're going to be miserable. I'd rather have you miserable. That's what I'd rather have. And she'd rather have me miserable. But in a boyfriend stay, too, and a boyfriend was laughing and enjoying himself. I don't know if he's a fucking sociopath or whatever, but they both stay and they shut the fuck up. And I didn't say one word to him for the rest of the show. So it's just fucking mind-boggling, man. It's just crazy. The fact that people will come to these shows, man, and just treat it with such disrespect, like it ain't shit. You know, doing stand-up comedy is one of the fucking hardest things in the world to do, to get up in front of a room full of people and make them laugh for an hour. That's

fucking hard. Okay. I know people we make it look easy. We make it look easy. And because it looks so easy, first you can think you can do it. And number two, you can, you, you, you, it's just like, yeah, fuck it. You can deal with it. You know, it's not. It's not. It's fucking hard. And when somebody's talking whispering, whatever the fuck you're doing, if you don't have complete attention of the crowd, you're fucked. Because then you're thinking about something else other than the fucking shit that's supposed to be coming out of your mouth. So it was a fucking, I need to listen to a little more right now, just to fucking cool me out. Oh, much better.

Oh yeah. Oh. So anyways. I... So anyways, I uh, they left. Another couple left too, which was great. Another couple, two couples walked out and they were like, fuck that, you know. Which is great, fuck you, leave, fucking leave. You can't handle a little uncomfortable time, you know, you can't handle, you know, it's

fine when the monkey boys up there just fucking making me laugh, but you know god forbid things get real a little bit I thought it was I thought it was fucking great. I loved every second of it. I'm gonna be glad those people left I don't want you there. I don't want you there if you fucking can't handle it You know it's so funny too is they get uncomfortable what the fuck about me? I'm on stage different everybody I got to deal with this bullshit. But some guy wrote me tonight on Facebook. It was pretty funny. He was at the show last night. And then these black girls were there.

I was talking about this vibrator bit I have. And this black girl actually had the vibrator. It took the vibrator out of her purse. This fucking silver bullet attached with a 12 foot cord, extension cord, to like a nine-volt battery and it was pretty crazy some guy wrote me today with blood crying walking out vibrators welcome to Kansas City that's exactly true Kansas City is fucking nuts man oh shit I'm just hoping tonight the shows are

fucking better and here's a clue too If you're at one of my shows and people are talking and being fucking stupid you could always say shut the fuck up to them too That's always a I love on the crowd actually says fuck you But nobody wants to get stabbed You know I get it but anyways, I'm here in Kansas City. It's, I got tonight two shows, tomorrow two shows, one Sunday, and then I go back. So I'm hoping that it's a little better.

Like I said, this is gonna be all over the place. I'm gonna talk about the UFC this week, little MMA, strike force last week, and so little MMA talk, a little gadget talk, and a little app talk, man. The new app, let's start it with the app, man. The new app update came out, and if you got it, man, you know, help me spread the word, tell everybody to get it. I'm trying to get some press on it and stuff like that. I believe that, you know, right now, I believe that the website's just fucking dead. You know, the comic website

is dead. You know, I think the entertainer's website, nobody goes to any of these buddies website really anymore. I mean, they go to their Twitter, they go to their Facebook, I mean, it's all right there. You know, why are you going to go to Robert Kelly Live.com? It's all the shit, you know, Facebook and Twitter, I mean, it's all up there. I think that the app is going to be the new website for entertainers. Everybody has a phone, a smartphone, everybody's on their phone, and if you go to your phone and fuck around in my app and listen to a podcast or check out my dates or do some fucking sound board, goofy shit, and to your friends or look, check out the live updates that I

think that's where it's going. So I'm predicting right now that comics will still have websites, but more comics going to have apps in the future. I know a crash is a little bit, it's a little fucking heavy, man. I mean, there's a lot of shit that goes into this app. It's a fucking heavy duty app. These guys really put it together, what I wanted. So I know it will get better.

We're trying to fix the stuff as we go along here. I know crashes for some people. The one thing you should do is if you get the app deleted and go downloaded fresh, you don't get paid for it. If you have problems with it, delete it, download it fresh and you know it will come up that you know you're gonna buy it but you don't buy it. I'll say you already bought it and you want to download it again and put it on your phone that way. Don't just update it to the new one. Make sure you delete the old one.

And some of the three G phones might have a problem just running it because of the processor. Might be a slower phone, but if you have any problems with an email me or email the guys at 3SD right on the app and let me know, because we'll get on it. Because this one actually fixed a lot of the bugs from the last one, from the emails we got. And we fixed a lot of the bugs from the last one from the emails we got and we took a lot of your suggestions

From the last one to make this one a better version of the app If you don't an Android everybody's bugging me for Android. I don't have the you know We're gonna try to get the Android app out soon But a lot of shit goes into these apps man. It's not like they just have them, you know build them You know there's not a framework that you put this in and just throw my face on it. This was built from scratch, a lot of code. So I'm trying to get the Android one out too, as soon as possible, but, you know, cut me some slack with that, like, you know, the things we updated on it with on the live updates,

now there's a refresh button up on the corner. So you'll always have the up to date update. You can just hit that refresh button and you're good to go. Another thing too is that when you open the app, if I'm in a hundred miles of you on one of my tour dates it's going to give you a pop-up and let you know where I'm at. So then you go to the tour dates and get your tickets. I don't know if you noticed that so it's pretty bad at. So when you open up the app, if get your tickets. I don't know if you noticed that. So it's pretty bad as. So when you open up the app, if I'm within 100 miles,

you're going to get a little pop-up letting you know. The bobcast, we actually fixed. This is what you listen to right now. So now when you go to the bobcast, it actually has, you know, a fast forward and a scroll. So you can, you know, if you can't listen to the whole thing, you want to go back to it, you can scroll up the top to where you left off. The last one, you just had to listen to it all the way through.

And then if you bailed out on it because you had to go into work, you had to listen to the whole fucking begin again. We fixed that. And we added the media section now. Instead of fan photos, it has the fan photos, but now it has videos. You know, I rack wear wolf from Coke Logic, two girls won cup reaction, all this crazy shit.

There's one massage Paula story up there, Norton makes a little cameo, then the fan photos are up there. And then it has a lot of the long versions of the audio clips from the soundboard. You know what in my butt the bob Kelly rap the Metallica stuff it's you know the titty mountain highway so all that shit is on there man the store is a little different too we changed that so you can actually pause you don't have to listen to the whole clip in there you can pause it so these guys did a fucking great job on the app, I hope you guys are liking it. If you do, make sure you review it on iTunes and let me know that you like it.

I know a lot of fucking hundreds of people bought the fucking thing, so I would love to hear what you think about it. And if you have any problems, again, just delete it, download it again, the fresh version. We've updated it like three times times so you might have an older version And that's about it on that the app. We're gonna kind of I mean, it's pretty much where it's gonna be right now I hope you guys are enjoying it. If you guys have any videos man, you take of me and you or just you being a goofball or whatever Send it to me because I'll throw it up on the app I'll put it out there for everybody to check out. So now let's go over the fucking fights this week, man. Pretty interesting shit. I mean, the card isn't filled with fucking, like, you know, a lot of UFC cards are like, oh my god, you know, every fight on there is fucking crazy.

I mean, this one isn't, you know, doesn't have, I mean, the main event is the big fight, and that's about it, but all the other fights are fucking great fights I mean you know if he doesn't fuck around and I'm glad Showtime actually picked up on that last week Showtime's fight was that was on was pretty fucking great I mean that was a great card and all the fights were great though I mean what is it three knockouts I think something like that. Elite, Xe. But yeah, it was pretty pretty goddamn good man. Last week's showtime card. Hang on one second here. I looked this up. It's a lot easier when I, uh, strength force was fucking pretty bad ass last week. Um, yeah, we, uh,

yeah, last week, I mean, Dan Henderson, that fucking right, that right he's got his, oh, man, he throws that he throws that was so fast and hard not the fuck out of Bob below it was it was crazy fucking crazy crazy great fights I love them all Robbie Loller was fucking great it was just fucking unbelievable I'll let you know some of my favorite places to go on the mmatko.com and lowkick.com. Three of my favorite places to go for mma fucking videos and all that shit and updates and what the fuck happened with the fights. Those are three great fights, Fighting websites that I go to But right now

Yeah strike force last week was great man fucking great bouts a lot of great knockouts and I just wish they put on more fights like the UFC puts on fucking so many fights There's a fight every other weekend in the UFC and it's never shit-card. There's so many fighters out there now and again when I talk about this stuff I'm talking as a fan, I'm not an expert, I don't know, I know I know very little about the sport, I know enough to get me by, you know, I know that some people think that I'm a, you know, oh Rob knows a lot about MMA, I know as much as the average motherfucker, I'm coming from a fan perspective with all this shit. All my fight

picks, I, you know, you know, I'm learning about the sport too. So, I just love it. I love it. And this week, man, George St. Pierre and Cossack, I can't wait for this fight. You know, I was kind of, I was really, I was really getting fed up with George St. Pierre. You know, I was kind of, I was really, I was really getting fed up with George St. Pierre and you know, it was just bringing people down and staying on top and every fight was the same fucking fight, man. It was, it was like he just double-ledged and fucking took him down and lied on top of him and scored points.

It was kind of fucking boring. It just, you don't want to see a champion fight the same fight three times in a row, you know. And I think this one, I don't think he's going to have the chance to do that. You know, Coss check is a wrestler too. Hopefully this time he can avoid the takedown unlike last time. Hopefully he fucking got that back together. So he can stand up a little bit.

And you know, I think think Coscheck is a different fight in that too. I watched the countdown UFC countdown it was a great countdown this last week if you didn't catch it go to UFC.com you can watch it on there great countdown one of my favorite shows that they put on the countdown to the UFC fights it was really fucking good and I'm looking I'm looking for the Stevenson in dancing I like dancing. He's a little fucking nuts. I remember him on the show, but you know, he's He's the you know, they were both on the show different years, but it's gonna be it's gonna be fun to see what Stevenson's at I've always liked him. He's a solid fighter

I hope he I hope. I hope he wins. I hope Stevenson wins. I like dancing, but I hope Stevenson wins. I'd love to see him back in the mix. And then they have the Pippo Alves and Howard. That's going to be a great fight. Everybody's picking Alves to win, but I don't know man, you know, I mean he was the mother fucker Until Saint Pierre fucking beat him and then he kind of lost his mojo, so I'm hoping maybe he gets his mojo back It was draw And McCorkle This fucking guy Jesus Christ this guy's well, I don't have taller sky is What is he fucking? Was he six oh and the six eleven the guys six eleven?

What the fuck man you should be like It's just a giant this tall thin giant motherfucker No, it's gonna be a good fight man. These guys are fucking pretty badass. I think, I mean, Stefan is, I don't know, I think they were the guy in this guy up to be the next guy. They want to hear this guy in the mix probably because he's so tall and his physical look is just, I don't know't know entertaining I don't know but he's a pretty uh...

pretty tough fighter to him and he's a pretty badass so I'm thinking he's gonna win I'm gonna pick uh... Jesus Christ I wanna pick cost check but I don't think it's gonna happen I was watching George St. Pierre and he's he's fucking he can put the freaking Thailand. Where do you go? Where do you go? No, he went to, uh, where the fuck is, he went,

Pacquiao from, where the fuck are you, all the Philippines? Went to the Philippines to train with, uh, with Pacquiao for a minute and, uh, work on his, uh, is striking. Miss some crazy shit and he goes to New York. He goes all over the fucking place to get better and you know So a lot of times guys become champion. They just just continue doing what they're doing and You know, they dance with broadam, but you know Same pier seems to fucking you know stay hungry. It seems like he's still trying to become better at everything. And he's the champ. So I don't know if Costchex gonna have enough

to beat him. And I know it's gonna be a Montreal. And I'll tell you what, if Costchex beats him up in Montreal and knocks him the fuck out. Oh my God, that place is gonna fucking, it's not gonna be dead silent, it's gonna erupt, it's gonna be fucking anarchy. I don't think that if that, if he knocks him the fuck out, I don't think it's gonna be dead silence. I know you're gonna be here at whisper, it's gonna be nuts.

I would like to pick, cost check, but I don't think it's gonna happen. So I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go St.P. here. I'm gonna go St.P. here I'm gonna go St.P. here I'm gonna go fucking I'm gonna pick Stefan to win and then I'm gonna pick I think Jim Miller is gonna is gonna win the next fight over Charles over over here. All these names are so funny. And I'm going to take Joe Stevenson to win, too. And I'm going to take Alvarez. I'm going to take him to win. So those are my picks for the UFC. Again, I'm not going to be able to watch it because I'm going to be doing shows

here in Kansas City. So I'm going to try to get it on the computer if I can. But those are my picks for this weekend. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to this fight. This same Pierre-Costek fight is, and it's weird too because they put on so many fights. I never think that I'm gonna be, you know, when the first day announced this and they were gonna be coaches, I was like, I'm gonna be you know when the first day announced this and they were gonna be coaches I was like I don't want to see that fight It doesn't excite me but they got me I'm excited. I'm excited to see this fight

I'm really fucking excited to see who fucking who wins this fight I hope it's I just hope it's not a fucking boring fight. I hope it's not a boring fight I hope both of them come in to win and it's not a fucking boring fight. I hope it's not a boring fight. I hope both of them come in to win. And it's just a fucking exciting crazy fucking five-round crazy fucking battle. Because if it's take down lie on top fucking blood, blood, blood, it's just going to suck. It really is going to suck. But again, that's what gonna suck. Really is gonna suck. But again, you know, that's what you do when you fight. You fucking have a strategy and maybe it's taking them down

and scoring points and keeping the belt. I'm more of a fan of, you know, fuck it. Throw shit against the wall and fucking see if you can knock them out. But tap them out. But that's a very, uh... I know it's a very childish way to look at the fights. But that's about it with that, man. Again, you know this fucking guy I'm following, I just love this guy is, uh... is, uh... well, let me find him here where is he?

where is he? I watch everything this fucking guy does I watch everything oh yeah Paul Daly too man Paul Daly fuck kind of sucks man that he I mean he's knockout was fucking great. It kinda sucks that he's not in the UFC

and he lost his shit and pulled that fucking punch on Coscheck. But God damn, Coscheck, I'm not the fuck, but you know, he was talking in the zero of the whole fighting, he lost the fucking match because Coscheck took him down and held him there and, you know that's shit dummy motherfucker because I'd love to see daily I'd love to see daily fight

fight uh same here that would be a great fight but um he looked great last week I mean was it a fucking minute 20 in he fucking knocked him out Jesus that big I'd love to see me in the UFC. I wonder if a lot of these guys gonna go over to your see I wonder how much they pay in the UFC what the difference is Between the UFC pay and their contracts as opposed to strike for us force I know you know fight is much in strike force. I know UFC has so many fights every fucking other weekend. I don't know. But Alistar Overing is probably one of my favorite fighters to kind of keep track of. You guys probably know who he is, but he's fucking he's a monster. He's a fucking monster. And I would love he's over at the fucking strike force, but I'd love to see,

I'd love to see him in the UFC. I think he would be a great fucking heavyweight champion. I think he'd come in and destroy Brock. I think he'd take out Kane. I think he'd take him raw load. I love him. I like him actually better than Fador and hopefully he winds up fighting Fador Over in strike force. I hope that happens. That'd be a great fight. Oh my god, would that be great? But anyways, that's about it man. Those are my picks. I'm picking St. Pierre. I'm taking Stefan. I'm picking Miller I'm picking Stevenson and I'm picking Alves for the fights.

All the rest of them, there's a bunch more fights, but I'm not gonna get into it. I'm real looking forward to it. It's gonna be a bad-ass fucking weekend, so. Email me, you're not email me from the app, you can email me, or tweet me or whatever, your picks. I'd like to fucking... Here you guys think you've got a win. And my picks are always wrong. If you're betting money, please don't use my picks.

If you're putting money on these fights, don't... I'm wrong, even though the last fight, I was 75% right. I think I'm getting better. Because I'm trying to pick more from actual if they're good or not. I'm trying to watch footage of them and keep up on them. Instead, I just like, I like that guy because he has a six pack. He looks more in shape. What else got coming up some tech shit man I don't know if you guys know this but I'm a fucking nerd I have all the gadgets I

have all the newest of everything that's kind of my thing I don't drink I don't use drugs I don't bang hookers anymore so I I pretty much buy all the new gadgets all the news I have you know two iPads I have the fucking much buy all the new gadgets, all the new, you know, two iPads, I have the fucking Apple TV, all the little cuter months that go with them. A couple of things that I just got, I just got the Apple TV, the new one, which is great. If you have an iPad or an iPhone, you should have an Apple TV. It's a hundred bucks. It hooks right into your TV. It's fucking great because whatever is on your phone or your iPad, you know, video wise

or music wise, a computer wise, even if you have a Mac, I have a Mac too, a MacBook. You can just toss it right onto your TV, which is great. When you're in bed and I got, you know, one of my favorite shows is psych on USA I don't know if you it's a corny show. I love it. It's one of my favorite fucking shows on TV I've watched every episode fucking three times all five seasons But you know when I'm in bed and I can just literally push the button and it goes right to my TV Plus it has Netflix right on it. iTunes right on it. You can rent movies right off it. That's radio on it like Pandora.

YouTube's on it. You have everything right on your TV now. So you're in bed. You can fuck around on YouTube. You can fuck around in Netflix right in the fucking on both of my TVs upstairs and down. I have it. It's one of the best little gadgets, little fucking unnecessary gadgets I've bought in a while. It's only 100 bucks. It's a little fucked up because the new one you can't buy the movie and have it, you can only rent it, which is a little fucked up. But, you know, you can still go buy that shit on your computer or your iPad and have it and then just shoot it over to your computer. So you can still buy the shit and watch it on your TV, just do it on your computer or

iPad. But I just read today that the iPad 2 is coming out and it has two cameras, a better display. So I'll be getting that because I think the iPad should have a camera. At least on the front, I don't know why they put a camera on the back of the iPad. It gives a fuck. We can take, I don't know, you're going to walk around with an iPad taking photos when you're on vacation, but I think it's coming out early next year with a rear-facing camera and a front-facing camera. And I mean, that'd be great. I'd love to fucking have that.

So that's about it man. I mean as far as gadgets one of my favorite sites is gizmodo.com. I know you guys probably know this shit but it's one of my favorite sites. There's a bunch of shit up there. These are my three favorite sites I go to. I go to gizmodo.com I go to gockerTV.com gocker is just fucking tabloid video bullshit which is fucking one of my favorites and I go to clitty.com for porn clitty.com is the fucking Patrice turn me on to it Patrice always has the best one sites all the fucking time. And he turned me on, but it's a great, great fucking site. So those are my three favorite websites that I go to at least four or five times a day.

I usually only go to Clity once a a day because after I dump I'm done I'm one and done. I know these guys who fucking can jerk off twice three times in a day or have sex and then you know Come and then fuck again in 10 minutes. You're superheroes to me. I don't know how you do it Sex is a fucking I dump and I'm done. It's over So I go to that site once a day. I got some big news coming out, hopefully some cool shit happening. I can't really tell you about it now because it's not, hasn't come to fruition. But as soon as I can, I'll let you know. But as soon as I can, I'll let you know. So I'm really good shit.

Other than that, I'm going on vacation Tuesday. I'm gone. I'm going to a rubah. I go to a rubah every year. Ten days before Christmas, I usually had out. And I come home on Christmas Eve. I used to come home a week before Christmas, but it would ruin the vacation. I would be fucking in some target or fucking old Navy arguing with my wife, just get her a fucking hat. Who gives a fuck? So now we come home a day before Christmas

and go right to the families and I'm not stressed out at all. I suggest that to anybody. Take a vacation before Christmas. I want to get it a fucking actually stay through Christmas one year. I will get that to happen. Not that I have anything against Christmas, but I... It's just this most stressful, you know, October. Every year my mother's on Christmas. We're never doing this again. This is too much pressure.

We know this isn't about fucking gifts and blah blah blah. It's about you know celebrating time together and Jesus is birthday And you know next year we're just gonna have dinner and I'm where everybody's like fine great. That's awesome Let's just do that. That's what everybody wants and then every year she fucking what do you want for Christmas? I thought we weren't doing that So now you know October 1st. It's like what do you want for Christmas? So she'd be calling me every week I usually just tell her a sweater. She got me the worst sweater ever. It's literally it looks mesh It's not even like white or it's not wider tan. It's like it's like dog puke That's the color like give us you a dog puke that that fucking whitish yellowy group fucking tan. It's that color and it's mesh. If I put it on without a shirt under it, my nipples pop out.

I still have it. I'll put it on and take a picture of it and post it on the app. So you guys can see it. It's the fucking most potrocious sweater ever. It's like the first sweater ever made. Like the first time somebody learned how to crochet, that was the first sweater and I see it. It's the fucking most potrocious sweater ever. It's like the first sweater ever made. Like the first time somebody learned how to crochet. That was the first sweater and I have it. But anyways I'm going to a Rubenex week. I can't fucking wait. I'm sick now. I'm trying to get rid of this fucking goddamn bullshit but it's fucking somebody gave it to me. Some douchebag who's sick and walked right. If you're sick, stay the fuck home.

If you're coming to the show this weekend, don't touch me, I'm sick. I'll let you know right now I'm sick. Yes, and I'm smoking. But, I don't know, dude. This fucking podcast, I just wanted to do on them. In my hotel, I'm lonely. It's 5.40. They're picking me up at a little while. The two shows. I'm sleeping all day. And I don't know. This is a fucking

pretty lame podcast. But some of these are gonna suck. And some of them are gonna be good. But what the fuck are you doing? You listening to my podcast so you can't be that fucking busy to fucking actually push play on this thing so that's it Bob Kelly you know what dude podcast all by myself is over. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fui-paras! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea

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