Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Upfront Milk

Episode Date: July 2, 2018

The Legendary Legend Rich Vos is Bobby’s guest as we go over comedy free speech, Kathy Griffin's comeback and docile poultry! Vos is on fire, the couch gets weird, it’s an amazing ep! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com. Oh, I'm so many of these guy's getting things. For not a, for nothing, for no money at all. Beautiful. Free. But if you want to support my Patreon page, patreon.com, so that's Robert Kelly Live. I have live from the shed, one on ones. I do so much extra shit on there.

I actually have like, what is it called? It's a story thing up there too. Yeah. That I do, stuff that I don't do anywhere else. I put it up on Patreon. So if you want to support me and all the other shit I do, it's patreon.com slash robber Kelly. Become a member for the price of a cup of fucking coffee,

which is pretty expensive. Not too okay. A latte. It's a latte. Yeah. A brevvy latte is my thing. Okay. It's love brev Yeah. A breve latte is my thing. Okay. It's love breve latte.

You know what a breve latte is? No. It's made with half and half. Steamed half and half. I don't. That's breve. We have a very special show tonight. I'm very excited about tonight.

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Request the show on there. What else we got we got Oh, we're gonna pick the winner. We have a winner rich Let me know my my parties What party the butt what what do you parties. What party? What do you get? You're a birthday party. Why are you in such a shit mood? I want coffee and you didn't tell me you were coming. I did. I was I went back to the village underground that you were doing a set. No, I just did the Tom Papa show and I came here. And

then I said to you, I go, I'm going up and you said on me over there. Yeah, but you waved me off. And then I texted you, I'm going over now. Yeah, but I was across street at 7-Eleven playing lottery. And then I went back, I went back to the underground, I go, where's Bobby in my head? I didn't say to anybody. And then I saw your text saying, I'm in the studio. It's not text.

It's not a fucking dude from Texas. It's a text. Text. Whatever, you know what I'm not in the studio. It's not text. It's not a fucking dude from Texas. It's a text. Text. Whatever, you know what I'm saying. I do, but I, it's wrong. Say text. This isn't class. No, I want to call.

It certainly isn't, bro. Oh shit. That was the right thing. It goes as certainly as a. Oh, this is the guy who was beaten down by the girl next to me. And he's talking to me and I'm telling a voice. Can we stop? Get him.

Can we? You're a bitch. Can we not fucking do this? I don't want to do it. We had miscommunication. Miscommunication, but can you smile? Can you come in with a little difficulty? Should we start the show over?

No. Let's start the show over. No, what are you doing? I don't want to hear you do your dumb reads again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Anyways, don't fuck with the reads. What am I talking? I'm talking to you. What did you teach me?

Ha ha ha ha ha. He gets so mad at daddy. He gets so mad. He's got a big respect thing. What's wrong with you? I'm in a great mood. I'm just a little bean down from life. Oh yeah, it was a long day.

I did a, a mask with Bennington. I took to train in. It's unmasked. Yes, unmasked. Not a mask. Unmasked. Right. I took to train in and I walk from Penn station down here in the hot weather. Got to get my 10,000 steps and I still need 3,000 more. So maybe I'll walk around him twice. And I can ask. And then, you know, I kind of fucked up because Gabby said, do you want a coffee? And you'd say yes. Well, I do, but I can't try. I don't know what she's getting the milk from.

I don't know if she's taking it from me. I want my milk from behind the counter where nobody can get to it, but she'll probably get the coffee and walk over to the milk where everybody fucks with it, you know what I mean? You can just tell me that. Yeah, you can just say that. I don't want to sound pushy. Oh, it sounds like a fucking psychopath. Why? Because you don't want milk that the whole public goes near?

Well, they don't go near it. It's in a container. Yeah, how hard is it to slip a piece of fucking acid into that container? What are you fucking mel Gibson? Well, what's that got to do with that? I don't know, I'm just moving with Julia Roberts. Where he was, I was wearing aluminum foil on his head and stuff to lock in front of him. Is that what those hats are made of?

Yeah, they're aluminum foil, but no, these hats, they keep the government out and math and English. No, it keeps funny out of the room. So I like coffee, but I just want my milk from behind account. You know that. Yeah, but I just want my milk from behind the counter. You know that. Yeah but I know that but all you have to do is tell her. I don't understand why you have to. Yeah. Can I have a coffee with milk from behind the counter next time? Of course. What are you doing now? Do you want coffee? No that doesn't matter. Do you want

me to get it? No I don't want it because I'll feel like a primit don and I'm not like that kind of person. Where would you go? Where would you get a favor? Yeah, right next door you sure it's not a problem. Yeah, I'll give you two bucks to buy yourself with soda She doesn't want a soda. She doesn't want a pop you want a pop? Does she look like she drinks soda? What is it? 1952 nobody drinks pop fucking asshole. Can you put you put a splendor in it and tell them fresh milk from behind the counter? Yeah, just hold me. I got it. I got it here milk from behind the counter. Yeah. Just whole milk. I got it.

I got it. Here, just use the card. Do you want a coffee? No, I don't. I just want it. Because I don't. But coffee to get. I don't want.

All right, get me a coffee, Christ. This is just coffee with Bobby and coffee. You know what? What? Coffee with Bobby and Rich in the studio. It's not in a car drinking coffee. Just coffee with Bobby and Rich. Can I get a cup of coffee with cream and one smoothie? Yeah. It's not in a car drinking coffee. Yeah, it's just coffee with Bobby and Rich. Can I get a cup of coffee with cream and one spoon?

Yeah, thank you, Gabby. Yeah, obviously. And you can get my milk from wherever they have it. If they have that stibbia, I like that better than a splendent. Oh, okay. Jesus. Okay, let's go.

Let's get to started. It's already started. Okay, here we go. Can you tell your two guests to shut up? I think you just did He looks like Don Jamison doesn't he? Oh, this one. Yeah, you look like Don No, I can't trust you too. I don't know you. Yeah, I wouldn't get coffee for that Not for him. He looks a little angry. You're at a little angry. He looks like Don Jamison. He's grabbing a mic though, too

He's just a grab. He's got he's got like he does like rock and roll. What do you do for a living? You a comedian or something? I wish no. I used to run restaurants and now he's got he's got like some type of We're we're in New York or New York in New York. Yeah, all right. Okay. Let's go In New York, yeah, New York. All right. Okay. Let's go start it. I said making a rest. Shut up. Put the mic down Fucking ass. I Was your aggressive why I don't because what I'm trying to get the fuck let's get started I'm trying to get the show off the ground you come in with your shit energy. I'm that bad energy dude You see yelled right at the beginning. I yell and you made fun of him

I didn't make fun of her to tell her to tell now she's gone My producer's gone with all the fucking topics because she's got to go get you coffee with milk behind the counter. Then the fucking regular fan that comes in all the time brings a fucking crazy guy with mance and lamps and fucking great hair who fucking picks shut up. Who picks up the fucking, who picks up the microphone

and just touch yapping like what best pals. We got to control. This is how to control. We got to take control of things. All right. So anyways, nasty show. Make sure you go to ha ha ha calm. I'm hosting the nasty show this year.

And what else? How can you couldn't get me on it? What do you mean? Let me who's on the nasty show? It's a Brad DC Benny. No, DC Benny. It's Derek. Sid G in the middle.

Yeah. That's not DC Benny. That's Derek. He's a game. In the middle. Yeah, that's not D.C. Benny. That's Derek. He's a comedian. Derek Sijin, what is he, Canadian? Yeah. Miss Pat. Miss Pat's on it, she's a killer, Nikki's a killer, and Brad Kills. Mike Britt kills, that's a fucking killer line.

That's your great show. Yeah, where would you have gone on that line up in front of any of them? All right, relax. No, they're all funny. They're all funny. They're all funny. Yeah, I mean, you hosted it once already. No, I never hosted it in As you saw. Oh, you didn't. No. Were you on it? I was on the year, me, you, Bobby, me, you, Norton, and, uh,

and Jorado did it with Tiffany Haddish. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember? Yeah. And, and who would have thought she would be a fucking major star now? Like, when we were doing it? She was supposed to be a big star back then though. Really? Yeah, first of all, she's beautiful. She was funny. She was supposed to pop back then. It's weird that she didn't now.

She's massive. Yeah, yeah. I like her too. She's funny. She was nice. I had a good time that time. I did. It was a good time. Yeah, she's a role-a-hosted.

Oh yeah, you're all, I remember the first one I did. It was a good time. Yeah, Gerardo hosted it. Oh, yeah, Gerardo. I remember the first one I did was with Louis, Louis, a towel, gym jeffries, and Nick the Paula. That's a good show. That was a great show. That was like when Louis popped. Louis, what do I know? Louis CK. Louis CK. What do you know? Louis? What do I know that name from? Louis? Yeah. It's Louis CK. What's he up to? He's nice, chilling, taking a little break. Good for him. He's gathering his thoughts, I think.

Oh, I wish I could save me too. I just got to work. I can't do it. Fuck me. I was just, you know I was this weekend at Lan I can. Fuck me. I was just, you know, I was this weekend at Lanter, the laughing skull. How's Marshall doing? Marshall's cool. He's doing a cool room.

He's a great guy. We hung out the first night. There's two great rooms in Atlanta. Relapse? What's that? It's an old church, this guy. Oh, they do an alternative show there. Yeah.

I went there late night they have like a late night open right there they have late night of my yeah yeah I went but I missed it the one in the basement it's a church basement it's cool it's a fucking mean gum actually co-headline there five years ago who did gummin I think it's like kind of like now it's like a museum performance art center type thing. And they know, oh, no, you don't do anything. Jesus, you said fucking, I was going to go answer the door. I don't know maybe because I have a house in that's what I'm used to when I hear a doorbell. I go answer the door.

I never fucking house. I know. Nobody rings your doorbell first of all. The postman does the postman rings your doorbell twice. Oh my God You guys when if you want to leave I get it. I understand I feel like that would even just sneak out It's cool the postman only rings twice I never if someone rings my doorbell I get scared

Nobody rings my but I have a house you have like a you don't have a house. I live in a town house. Yeah, you're attached to somebody. Yeah, my wife. I can't get around it there. Yeah, you're attached. For so long, she went up to coffee. Shut up, well, you're just getting the coffee. I wonder where she go. She's going downstairs, she probably forgot something.

Yeah, the coffee, I know. Listen, yeah, is it weird being attached to a house? Like some, I mean, because I don't have, I have a house. I can walk around naked, I can do whatever I want. I want you to do that in my house. People, I discuss this account house, this, I mean, there's people in it. What the fuck? You can't talk.

You can't talk. We fight all the time. The neighbors know exactly what's going on. That's what I'm saying. They hear you. What's, is your bedroom attached to there? Is your bedroom on the, my bedroom? Are you attached on both sides?

No, just once I won the corner of the building, but our bedroom on the wall behind my dresser is there bedroom. Is there a bedroom? Oh, that's a good hotel. So sometimes for me to get excited, I'll put a cup to the bedroom. I'll sub-bond it, wait here, hold on on and I'll put the cup and then I run real quick before I go down and then we do it

Down. Yeah before it goes down What I mean do you like the neighbors is it the same name? I don't know the whole time No, there's new ones ever since we our house caught on fire and all the places burnt up in our building Your house burnt up other people's houses? Well, it started on a balcony and went up to building and a couple of people, you know, the lady upstairs lost two cats or something. So there's somebody above you?

Yeah, above us below. No one's below us. So life or in our building. No one's below us. And there's to the side. So you get somebody to the left and somebody above you. Two stories above us, because one the first floor in the street stories.

That's weird. It's like an apartment building, but it's a townhouse. So you live in a house, you live in an apartment in a townhouse, except but it's not enough. But you have no, it's not one of those buildings you walk in and press an elevator. It's like look up townhouses.

I understand what a townhouse is, but usually townhouses and correct me if I'm wrong is attached to like one other house. No, that's what I'm used to. There's no other parents. Well, that's like an apartment, right? No, that's a townhouse. We're in a condo.

You're in a condo. Okay. You're not in a condo. You're in a condo. Condo makes sense. Right. Who the fuck I was, what is going on where the audience don't even,

you fucking attacked him. I didn't actually. And he's got a little, and he looks like Don Jamison. Buddy, that's attacking him. Say, he looks like someone. Yeah, it's Don, yeah. Yeah, you're attacking him.

Go to condo, put up condo on the screen. They know what I'm looking, nobody's an asshole. Don't, I know. Listen, Nobody's an asshole. Don't. I know. Nobody's an asshole. We've solved the riddle. Oh, okay.

I'm just saying, I live in a house. Yes, I know, I like your house. I have a house where I'm not a very, very, very fine house. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's a, what's wrong? You never heard it. It's a fine house. I heard it all them.

The Postman rings twice. The very, very fine house. What are you doing? It's a nice in the yard. Will you stop like you used to be so hard. Oh my God. Everything is easy because of you. This is I feel like I'm doing a podcast with my fucking grandfather. Will you stop? Okay. Cheat your head. Go ahead. Laughing skull. There it is. Fucking in one of the best clubs of a

It's okay and not for a reason. I like the club. What is it? Crazy. It's okay, and not for really. You're crazy. I like the club, whether it's a crazy. It's a good club, yours. It was one of the best clubs I've played. It's a good club. I fucking love it. I like it. It's insane. Crowds are insane.

They're good. YKWD fans all over the fucking place. You know what's weird too, is when I look out and there's an old dude, a couple old guys, and they come up after the big big fan of YKW, I'm like, holy shit. You're like, old as fuck. Isn't that crazy?

Someone came up to me tonight and said, love your podcast, I'm going up. Why would you listen to the, you know what I mean? Like you wouldn't think certain people listen to, you know, the, the, you're like females. The, well whatever, just the garbage me and my wife put out in the universe. Yeah. Yeah, these nice, normal people would listen to it.

No. It's weird when that happens. And the same, because you, like you know, the average listener, what they look like, who they are, you know, from radio. Well, you think you know what they are. Yeah, you do. You think, like, I'll go on the crowd

and I'll see a couple of chubby guys with some ironic t-shirts on, a do with a beard. Oh my god, okay, those are my fans. But then you see, like, an older couple dressed up nice and you're like, oh shit, and they come up after. Oh, big fan of YKW, like both of them.

And you're like, whoa, what the fuck? It doesn't make sense. But I mean, you forget that podcasting everybody listens to, it's not just, I had a couple hot girls this weekend. Whoa. Really? Not that I could, you know, fucking hashtag me to them anymore, but I'm not going to be too many. You can still go out. What's the sense? Wow, have a coffee and talk and be cool.

Oh, yeah, that sounds fun. Huh? That sounds fun. I'm gonna go listen to hopes and dreams. I'm gonna be a real estate agent. Are you? I'm not doing that. Too crazy. I love to talk with people and see what's going on in their lives.

You can't go talk to a girl after a show. I don't talk to anybody. I go back to my hotel. I go to Thursday nights. Here's my thing. Thursday night I get into town. Do my show. I go to Walmart, get my supplies.

What do you mean supplies? I get, but the fuck is a supply? I stop. What the fuck a supply? My food, I get food. Well, food, what do you mean food? Where are you staying? I get a refrigerator.

I get my own food on the road. I'm not gonna eat club food all the time. Okay, so what do you, what food do you get? Well, I'll go there. Walmart. You get food at Walmart. I just see how you get other stuff too. Have you seen the videos of the meat at Walmart? I'm not saying I get meat. Okay, what do you get? I'll get brown bread, round 70 calories rounds. I'm sorry, what would you said? Bread rounds? Bread rounds, to 70 calories. What's the bread rounds? What's the bread rounds? They're little rounds. They're like 70 calories, whole wheat or multi-grain rounds.

Okay. And I'll get some bananas. I usually have peanut butter that I already stole from other hotels. One second. Michael, don't just, when it's him, don't just type in Google what he says. No, I know this. There's nothing. Nothing will come up. There's sandwich stands. That's the other one. You don't have those in Google what he says. No, I know there's nothing will come up. There's sandwich stands.

That's the other way to see them for them. You don't have those for sandwich stands. I've had them. They're good. It has more like a pita. Yeah, it's in a pita family, but it's more of a bread. It's like they take bread and they slice that slice of bread in half, and it's, yeah,

so you have to have those calories. All right, listen to me. Jesus Christ. Yeah, so you it's half as calories. All right, listen to me Jesus Christ You I'm trying to tell you what's good stuff that if you okay, so what else is your enemy? All right, okay, what are you gonna get after that? So I'll get that what supplies do you get? I'll get some I get drinks I get my vital water lights all right, I get waters, okay regular my vital water lights. All right. I get waters. Okay. Regular waters. Water.

To put my citrus cell in that night so I can go to the cell. Citrus cell. It's like men and me, so citrus cell. I know what it is. It's to go to the bathroom in the morning without struggle. You don't go to the... You don't go poo anymore without struggle? No, I do, but this is really, it just cleans you out.

It's good for you. It's got poop. It's fiber. It's got fiber. I wake up in the morning, I take two sip of coffee and then I lay rope. I mean, I mean, it comes, it comes out. I mean, I don't do poo humor. I'm just saying how it works. I'm not doing poo humor. I'm telling you how. I don't or poo stories. That's not what I am about. What I'm about is what I do on the road. And so what are the supplies do you get?

So I'll get those. Yeah. If I get, I might get, I'll get, if the hotel also has a microwave. Yeah. I'll get maybe some breakfast, you know, like, or, I don't even fucking spitted out anytime tonight i mean it's a two hour podcast i gotta get something done here

to fucking hours shut up and just spit it out i get those they're like egg whites with turkey sausage they throw into the microwave unless the hotel has a free breakfast then i also still supplies from there to bring upstairs stop calling them supplies

they're not a Navy seal. Okay. You're not in the fucking mill. I got calling them peanut butter cut things. Yeah. In the morning, because they don't have a breakfast, I'll have a nice banana and peanut butter sandwich. Okay. Why don't you do this? I go out and walk and go get breakfast.

Because here's why. Can I explain? That's what this shows about. I ask you questions. Because you can answer it. I eat my, say my round and peanut butter and banana sandwich, right? Great.

So when I talk about Friday, when you radio, say Saturday's on. OK. I do that. And then I pack a little sandwich in my cooler with ice for golf. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I put it in my golf.

And I go play golf. And now I have a sandwich. I have a nice drink. I have a kind bar and then I have my little lunch on the golf course Then I leave the golf course and I go to plan a finis I work out okay, and I come take my nap and I do my shows This is sad to me why because I keep my day I Don't sit around and do nothing. I have a full day when I'm on a road. And if it's sad to me,

and if it's raining, I go to the R3 rain. Because you're acting like a widower. That's why I am on the road. I'm by myself on the road. Yeah, but you don't have to act like a widower. You can go and have breakfast, you can go for lunch. I'm practicing. Right.

What do you mean? I don't go out for breakfast, I don go for lunch. I'm not chasing. Brack. What do you mean? I don't go out for breakfast, I don't have time if I'm going to go play golf. And you go out for breakfast. What? Really? So you can go to some greasy diner. I don't say, why do you have to go on Yelp and find a really cool place to go to. I went to Atlanta this weekend, Joy Cafe.

I love Joy Cafe. You don't even know what it is. It's on the corners to gate cafe. Yes. Is that what's that the one? Yeah, that's good. It's pretty good. I think I've been there.

Oh no, I think I know what's kind of line up. Joy Cafe, it was fucking incredible. I walked up to it. John, did Joy Cafe, had a little after that. I do, I went and walked around the city. They have, this is crazy. They have this, have you heard about this have this scoop. Have you heard about this bird scooter?

No, I'm not sure about that. All over the country not all over. There's a bunch of cities that have them now They have these scooters. They're dropping off this company will just take out like a hundred scooters two hundred scooters And just drop them off in the city electric shooters You join the app on your phone. go to the scooter you find one right? You just scan it. It's kind of like to bike things and it unlocks it right but It's a fucking scooter electric and they fly So I took I went around yeah, but you don't have a helmet with you you supposed to have hell Well, again's a fuck you're not doing you're not doing 30 but yeah

It's not you other person in the car that's doing 50 not paying I got hit by a car What happened to the car? Oh You got hit by a car in a scooter. Yeah, I got hit by a car see well. I got I got bumped he bumped me But I took the head it was my fault You have to have a helmet well, well, the guy huge to the I looked in the I did I looked in the window I went I went I went what the fuck and then I looked in it was just big black dude and he didn't give a fuck to the hit me He could care less yeah, and I was like hey good one. I literally said good I was like hey good one well here's why men and then but I deserve it

I'm a 47 year old fat dude on a scooter. I should have got hit. But here's a reason to have a helmet too. I understand the reason. Okay, well, when you're on a plane, if you bring a helmet with you, most people die in a plane crash from when the plane,

from the, when it hits. Are you saying, can I stop? I need to stop right now. I know can I need to stop you right now? Explain what I want to play I need to say valuable time for the list. Oh Okay, you read this online all right, let's read it alive But go ahead people die in a plane crash because head head hits and they get knocked out and then they burned it down Right, so if you know the plane is going down and you throw your helmet on that fucking scooter helmet right on. You don't, well you've got to have a better helmet

in a scooter. I keep, you know, the cushion you sit on. Yeah. I could wrap that around my head. All right. I don't think, first of all, I don't think if you hit your head, I don't think not what happened. I think it's, I think it's, I think it'd be conscious. Most people have the same, I think it would be the exact same way you were when you before you, yeah. Most people die in plain accidents from hitting their head, knocking them self unconscious and then they burn up. If you don't knock yourself unconscious,

you can still get out of the plane. All right, listen, I don't know if a fucking helmet, a bike helmet, it's kind of same. You're better in a bike helmet. All right, what am I supposed to bring? A fucking dot helmet from a motorcycle helmet? A motorcycle helmet. So you want me to travel.

Okay, this is what you want me to do. I have fucking literally toothbrushes this big. My toothpaste, I travel light. Let's throw a helmet in the mix. You can just put them onto your belt, walk around the airport. So you want me to throw a helmet. So we're going down. I'm gonna pull a helmet out of my bag. I mean

I'm gonna go along the plane are gonna feel jealous Let me ask question. Where do I put my helmet while we're flying? Where do you put your helmet? Yeah, where's my seat in front of you? So So I and when the plane's going down you have time up grab a helmet So you want me so you want me to put you want to take my headphones out, my iPad out. And you gotta do some shit to save your life. And sorry, it's an inconvenience that you gotta take your headphones out.

I've never seen a person with a fucking helmet in my life. The only people I ever saw flying in a plane with a helmet were Marines and Army dudes in Iraq. That's it, because they know. No, they use it for bullets, not for the fucking thing, not for the plane. So I'm just shooting up the plane, you have a helmet. Dude, this is ridiculous.

Look at this. Look at this. We are. The manager of causes are usually dialing the fire or deceleration trauma, which is hitting your head once the plane crashes. You please, I want to listen, first of all, I want you to read it.

I want you to read it. I want you to read it. I want to hear it. And where did you get this from? Is it richfoss.com? Is it a blog that he wrote? Oh, it's from Gora. It's one of those questions. Okay.

What does it say? It depends on the type of crash from the stage of flight. At takeoff, there's a large fuel load, so fire is a major cause of pitalities. Later in the flight, it is usually deceleration trauma. So. Feeding your head. Yeah I hate the fact that you're right This is why bugs me. Yes, sir. What's your name Mike Mike use the mic mic

I'd like to know if the helmet would fit over your fucking hat. Oh Shit, oh really first of all why do you give them a mic? It's like being in a hot club. But I thought the dude's somebody on stage. Listen, I thought the fuck face was gonna have had something to say. I thought maybe he had some military training. I thought maybe he was,

he was, hat was gonna say something unique. Or maybe he had something, I didn't know he was gonna do a quip. Do you know what the thing is? I didn't know he was gonna do a bartender fucking quip I'm sorry the normal guy with the bald head. That's just so embarrassed that he brought him right because he wants to be accepted by Our community is and it's hurting it's hurting his

Initiation but here's what you do he mixed this is what he did he mixed worlds this guy's not a comedy fan No, he's a fan of himself You like comedy you said, this will be fun. You should never mix your worlds. You understand? Yeah, you bring a girl, she knows what's up, she's a fan. He's a fucking Alpha Ego douche that can't be in a room with other doucheers.

No, he's not that, he's like some stoner that really doesn't comprehend what's going on around. I think it all started with you saying he looked like somebody If you never talked to him, he would have just sat there quietly on the phone checking his Twitter fucking like Anybody has a burn hair cut. He's a dude. I know. He's a dish. You go Don't you fucking take put that button back in you fucking trendy fucking ass hall Back into the lamp. Yeah Lamp get back in a Brooklyn and make some soap He just looks like he's a fucking shitty chef somewhere to fucking we only make pancakes made with fucking

We grass and fucking salt And with every pancake you eat we get a pancake to almost people Yeah, those guys are still socks. Yeah, we we saw eight million pairs. Yeah, so you gave some away Eight million pairs that would ever they cost what the fuck? I you know, I sold eight million CDs I'd give 8 million away to Antid you just took my little joke quick joke in and out and you made it a long-wordy fucking Yeah, but I put it mines are closing bit yours is so I got my supplies Like I love Ridge Vos there's nobody like Ridge Vos

I love Ridge Voss. There's nobody like Ridge Voss. He will fucking, he will turn that car. If he misses the street, he'll fucking, he will get back on the line. Let me tell you, if I see somebody in a scooter, I will fucking, I also buy, you know, with my supplies. Sometimes I go, let me treat myself to a,

to a golf shirt or some golf balls, even though I probably don't need them. And I buy some stuff, and then I go back to my room, and I have a little snack, I watch a little netflix. Is it a money thing? Are you trying to save cash? No, I like spending cash. That's my problem.

My problem is I feel empty if I don't go out, buy something. That's why I go to Walmart, because I have to do it. I don't, I love spending. I love Walmart, I'm to do it. I don't I oh I love spending I love Walmart I'm just not gonna I I've bought and supplies as you call them I just but I've gone and I bought a couple things here and there But I never wanted to beat know the shade. I always have fucking a bunch of bread or peanut butter

You gonna buy a piece of peanut butter? No, I buy that if I bring peanut butter home to my wife She's gonna be like what are you doing? No, I don't buy a peanut butter You're not paying the butter? No, I buy the... If I bring peanut butter home to my wife, she's gonna be like, what are you doing? No, I don't buy a fish. Why is it being a butter? I buy the rounds to... Say individual cups. Individual cups. So you buy the little kid packs?

No, the cops say coming cups. We do fat peanut butter. All I get, I'm from the hotel. He's taking all the fucking coolness out of being on the road. What do you mean cool? What's cool after 30 something years of being on the road? So you want to fall on my panel individual cups of peanut butter? Listen, yeah

You know, I think you go to Walmart's people point and he's you know, they might recognize you Look at boss forces by I bet he's buying golf balls because he's a golfer Oh, no, I mean, I've never been record. Well, when I went to, when I went to with Jimmy Walker, everybody was recognized and Jay Jay Walker. I know, he goes to Walmart more than me. I go maybe he probably goes to get ready nice. I go like three times a week to Walmart, three times,

to get my stuff at home, I'll get my supplies for home too. I love Walmart. I'm not saying Walmart, to go to Walmart late night, a super store and walk around because you're lonely. That's great. But I'm not, it's not a, I'm not a regimen. I'm not going to a town like Atlanta or this weekend in Cap City in Austin.

Every club that's stuck in, I won't use me, you name. I, well that's all my clubs. That's my whole calendar. It's fucking, I'm'm booked till I'm booked till the end of the year. Okay, but I can tell you ten clubs It what am I gonna do? I don't know. What I mean? What do you want to do? Fuck cap city? I love cap city I like and I like what's her name the lady? Oh, who? Owns it. Oh really? Yeah, she's nice That's great. It's my first time playing there.

Oh, you'll like it. I hope so. You'll like it. You've never been to Austin? I've been to Austin a million times, but I've only been for like mostly acting shit. The upfronts. You never just sat by Southwest?

I did that, I've done that. I've done a lot of comedy too, but the last five years, it's been a lot of the acting shit. You'll like Cap City. I love the nice, the owner's really nice. I went there one time, I did the roast battleship with Jeff Ross. I did a little thing there for that. Yeah, it was a great club But yeah, I'm excited about playing it, but I'm not gonna go there and get supplies I'm not gonna go in in big cities like if I'm in a big city like Austin

I might not go to a Walmart. I probably won't but like what city? What cities are you going to? Well, like say you're at the Improving Pittsburgh, you're not downtown, you're outside. That's a big city. What's that? No, but you're outside the Improv. The Improv, okay.

You know, a lot of clubs are not in the city. A lot of them are outside of the city. Yeah, but it's in a mall. It's literally in a fucking mall. What, what's in a mall? The Improv. No, I'm just use as an example I'm saying I'm in Albany this weekend. I'm in Albany. Yeah, right so

The club is in a mall in Albany matter fact. That's right team. I last CD But you're you're not staying downtown Albany. You're probably liking a candle would switch or wherever they put you town Albany you're probably like in a candle which sweets or wherever they put you outside But the fuck is that you know like those home which sweets candle which sweets the best they have Kitchens in them and you like the kitchen. I love it in you like a kitchen in the room You don't bring pots and pans. No, they have there. They have them. You use people's pots and Pets you know they're not fucking use up for milk, but you use somebody's pots and bail you listen to me You fucking idiot. and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots and pots. No, they bring you clean pots and pans. They're not new, they're old. They're cleaned. Yeah, they're clean.

Yeah, guess what else are old? The pans in my fucking house. But they're cleaned. We don't use pans that have bacon grease in them from a week ago. We clean them. Okay, let's move on. All right.

Speaking of pots in your own pots and pans. Yes, blue apron. I love blue apron. Do you use blue apron? It's very good. I do, blue apron. I love blue apron. Do you use blue apron? It's very good. I do like blue apron. I thought I'd never like it when I first got so good.

I just because of my wife, such a great cook. She cooks fizzled bonnie. So fast. But here's the deal. Bonnie's a vegan. So I'd rather get blue apron because at least I know I'm going to get something that, you know, a non-vegan can eat. I mean, I do have vegan meals too.

But, you know what I mean? Yeah, I do I'm just saying Skip meal planning and get straight to cooking with blue apron Enjoy delicious meals and great that a great on the grill like honey Chipotle glaze chicken with a poblano and lime rice Add smoky depth to your dinner while enjoying Warm weather and getting those perfect grill marks. Oh, I love what is this? I'm sorry, I was reading this. I'm my brain just froze. It sounded very similar to another reason. Doesn't it?

With incredible ingredients, the chef designed recipe, blue ape and let's you see the power of what food can do. Here you go. So do this. This is the thing. They can convenience and variety. Blue Apron delivers fresh pre-portion ingredients step by step instructions right to your door and can be cooked with another 45 minutes. The menu changes every week based on what is in season and designed by Blue Apron's in-house culinary team. Flexibility. Blue Apron offers 12 new culinary team? Flexibility. Blue Apron offers 12 new recipes each week, and customers can pick two, three, or four

recipes based on what best fits your schedule. And high quality, a Blue Apron sends only GMO. Non-GMO. Non-GMO. I know, dude. They send you GMO. It's all his GMO. It's very salty.

No GMO? No GMO. Non-GMO No GMO, no GMO. No non GMO ingredients and meats with no added hormones. That hormone stuff does freak me out. Isn't it creepy? I just watch the thing on chickens. And it's like, wow. It's gross.

Yeah, but then you go to a farm where the chickens are kind of just roaming around. And there's, you know. But that's not the chicken you're eating. No, that's not the chicken. I caught a chicken in Maine. You did it one I caught one just grabbed it There's certain chickens that you can grab what did you do? Those are called chickens now

There's some chickens that don't fucking let you touch them. Yeah, and then there's grabable chickens There's no style chickens. You're right. What is right? How do you know? Here's my wife's There's doth-style chickens, you're right. What do you do right? How do you know? Here's my wife's raised chickens, and they're very nice, yeah. Bring up doth-style chicken. Okay, but before we do that,

we should put a few other reasons. Amazing reason about chicken. Relatable and real is what you want. All right, here's a look. Fucking circle something for me, would you? I actually use blue apron. I don't use it, I don't have five, I don't do it every day. Because my wife's a great cook,

but we do have it delivered to the house. We do one meal a week, it's great, because it's easy, and I can cook it. It's amazing, we did it a lot in college too. It's great, it's great for single guys, comics, dudes who live with other dudes, you know, if you get roommates or something like that. Or boyfriends.

Well, boyfriends, girl, I guess, but what a, oh, stop just muscling your lifestyle in my podcast. This is a part of the read. It's for everyone. Look at my fan base. Do you think they, it's for everyone? No, we don't know. He is a man bun.

That could be, he could be a lesbian. Possibly. Do you have a boyfriend? She has a boyfriend? Yeah, she does. No, I don't. Let's finish the read. You do for this one. Yeah, so I make it all the time with my husband. Yeah, I actually use it all the time. I do

I love it because it's so easy. It's delicious. They have a professional set. Do I have to read all this? Yeah. Thanks. Priscilla chefs putting a lot of care into creating recipes each week. We need your help bringing this food to life for your listeners. I'm not supposed to read that. I'm not supposed to read that. I don't know what the fuck this is going smoothly. Well, because they weren't didn't fucking tell me they fucked up on the read. I would say it's good. It's amazing. But if you want one. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. Use the code word what dude that's blue apron dot com slash dude flash dude and you get it free Mm-hmm all that other stuff needs to be crossed out on next read so I don't read Sweetener should you put this coffee a single one also comedy seller Vegas. Oh, yeah comedy seller Vegas

We're going there the end of the month August last week in August me key through omits in rich boss and pop Maybe just me key through omits in Keith Robinson, Rich Fawson, Paul, maybe just me, Keith Robinson, and Verzy, with the fucking, what cough is that? I got some cough. What? I caught my throat. Jesus Christ, you got to, what are you, Doc holiday? Me, Fawson, Keith Robinson, and Paul Verzy.

You know, they had, and Mark Cohen's the host there. Mark Cohen's hosting. So Verzy, I'm not going first. Will you stop with your fears? I go third. Why are you wearing that? You're still not wearing that? Where you go.

Versi Keith, me, then you. I know, you're going last. I'll go last. No, you're a headline. Not always show. Every week. No, every week. Every week, every show.

You should headline every show. No, I said, why? Because you're working Cap City and you'll get to practice. No, you should headline. We just did a big show where you fucking murdered in front of me And you can went on and no problem falling. I know, but still you should go out in the beginning Yeah, a little bit, but I didn't have a big I did know a little bit you do a fine You do a five minute sales pitch at the end. It wasn't five

It was fucking commercial mode. I got CDs. I got TV I got TVs. I got sneakers. Why don't you sell other shit? Other than your CD you just sell like back scratchers I have shirts now I am legend I know I want rich lost legend I mean Richard you don't even know our legend right you did kill you fucking murder we boated it was one of the best shows I'm telling you in a long time we should stop we should start doing shows together but if I do shows with you, you're gonna have to headline.

No, sometimes. Oh, I don't, yeah, for example. We have a foot for you. We have a buffer in the middle. No, we'll have a foot for you. And why do I, I don't get a fucking buffer? Why do you get a box? The hosts come out before you.

There was no host before me. The radio host came out. He came out and said two things and then brought me right out. Oh, they didn't have the contest winner? No, he went up before him. He got the contest winner. I wasn't.

It was good. He was all right. He's only doing it six months. Six months. If he did a roast battle, he wouldn't have got as killed as you did. Oh, shit. No, he was okay. He's only doing it six months, you know.

No, he did great. He did fine. But he went up. Then he went up. He was supposed to do 30. He did 45. No, I didn't. He did. No,'t I got a time that taped it. No, you didn't yeah, I did and a lady upstairs said do 45 I don't give a fuck. That was the contract. She was right. I'm your friend. I'm your friend. You're not ready You know, it doesn't matter. She was doesn't matter. You said I'm doing 30

I thought I was and then she said you were killing and then you did fucking no I didn't do 45 I did probably 40 no you did fucking, no I didn't do 45. I did probably 40. I did, no you did not. You did almost 50. Now it's getting almost 50. 55. So now you crazy. Did it almost an hour in front of me. No, now you're saying an hour.

I did, it was such a good show and the audience was on fire. It was great. Why don't we do another theater? I just, some guy was supposed to contact me about something. Yeah, he's got, he's got, he's got, well, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it, to contact me about something. Yeah, he's going to be well. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. You fucking managed it too. You know what?

Remember, your manager was at the show. Yeah. And he said, can I have a voice like a legend, sir? And I didn't have any more. Yeah. Well, I just ordered more and I mailed him one. Oh, that's good. You know.

Was it supposed to be a surprise? Because he listens. No, he doesn't. Yeah, he does. Why would he listen to this? Because I'm his client. You're listening to everything is client still? Yeah, every Friday night podcast.

I'm not listening. I'm not a Friday night fucking party. No, you're a bad podcast before you. You're right. Well, you can buy those tickets to see you guys at the end of August. You can use that code CC social for $25 tickets. Perfect.

Yeah, I've been to Vegas in August. You know how brutally hot it is in Vegas and all it is. It's brutal. Like if we, if Keith goes to the pool, he'll catch on fire. It's so hot. And I'll play golf early in the morning. But I mean, you and Versa will probably play golf.

You never play golf. I do play golf. I play all the time I can do you can pick up. We just fucking golf you don't need the Clothing I have it. I do I have golf clothing I went to be muted for just for laughs and the places you ever do that cake. No, why would I tell you people don't use me anymore? Oh my god dude. They just for laughs, just for laughs per meter, they do it once a year.

The hotel is the Fairmont. It's in the hotel. You just go take an elevator down to the showroom. You got to be a little clean. I can do that. All right, and then you get free golf at that, there's one of the nicest golf courses ever at the hotel. So we went golf for every day i played uh...

oh yeah yeah who's we me alonzo boden uh... sign in the guy who uh... the tour manager guy we don't believe me i do believe you i'm saying that's nice it's great dead uh... and what kind of clubs you have i i just rented their clubs they give you a red rental club. Yeah, just they just rent that. I bought an outfit.

I got pink checkered shorts, and I got a tail green eyes on shirt. That doesn't fit. No, it doesn't fit. That was, it would not fit. I would have to buy a whole new outfit. I'll buy a new outfit. You know, I'll get up early to play golf with that.

Why? I got a fucking five-year-old. I get up at 7.30 every day. All right. Well, say, what do you mean I'm not going to play? Why would I not get up? Because you're going to, you're, you're going to go out and you're going to, what? I probably go with 30 years. I'm going to go to a disco. Do you know me? I tell you what I'm not going to do by supplies at Walmart. You're going to go cut a rug with fans. I'm not going to cut a rug with white, with white, what is this white? Oh my god, you're gonna go cut a rug with fans. I'm not gonna cut a rug with white.

What is this white hair? Oh my god. I'm sticking out of the white face. Yeah, that's finished the dumb thing. You started it in America. Can I ask? What? Use the mic, so we get it on.

Do you still sell people here on FBI profiler? Sometimes. I do. Well, no, I do other things like what? Like if I'm playing golf, of course, he says he's an FBI profiler. If you ask me what you do for a living and i don't want to say comedy because i don't want to deal with a million comedy questions i might say i'm an FBI

profiler but he says that yeah cuz i know a lot about profiling but what do you know about profiling what do i know john duckle has started it you ever see the show mine hundred on that flake i'm not asking who started fb i profiling. I'm asking what do you know about it? Ask me, profile her. Her? Yeah, right now.

What are you? Listen, calm down. She's really tensed in there. And I really, we were all, I mean, everybody was, you brought this energy in with your coffee. Oh, listen, first of all, see, you're in this right there. Enough with your energy and karma, and you brought this energy in with your coffee. Oh listen first of all See there it is right there enough with your energy and karma and you brought it in all right relax

Fucking whatever you're into type of incendi burning karma bullshit. I came in here Okay, oh man Dude everything was so late back man, and then you came in man with your attitude and you're and you're craziness I was doing a read man your coffee that you want a coffee anyhow you want me to profile her? I do want you to I can profile it if she comes you can tell she comes from a good home but she's very she has to prove herself that she that she can make it on her own. That's why she's like being a producer for a podcast

without getting paid. No, I mean, she's paid. I know, yeah, I'll pay whatever. And she's doing, she has to prove to her family that she can make it on her own in New York. You just stop putting anybody down. Are you really profiling? I'm putting her down, I'm profiling. Put me down!

I'm telling you! I'm telling you! She has to have to move to you. No, you're fucking... Forget it, just go. Why don't I put you down? I put you down. Oh, I said you didn't pay her.

You said petty, I said petty. I said petty, you said petty. It's like, it's just go. I don't mean to put you down. Okay, good. Penny's on whatever. Shut up. Why is there a chef hat in here?

Shut up. We're gonna get to that. It's not a chef hat either you fucking idiot. It's a sailor's hat. Oh, it's a different. You met a sailor and a man. I don't want to talk about it. It's from the sea of days.

So, you know, and I want you to profile this guy. Profile this guy. Who? The guy on the couch with the hair. Gun of couch. I just have one question. You don't have any questions for me you don't talk to me you go through him to get to me I go it goes to me yeah

both of you get the paper can you tell me yeah why he's wearing the exact same fucking shirts that my 75 year old grandfather wears yeah with the the can I tell you what? Stop, stop, stop, stop. It's cool. I'm gonna answer you right now, because he's 75. Okay. Are you done?

Are you good? It's my front down. Okay, good. Yeah. Can you tell me why his hair is in a bun? Because I made him put it back in. I wasn't about to be full. Look, I really can't talk about hair.

This is one of my favorite styles shirts on the plan. It's the Cuban cigar shirt. It's a why you're there Yeah, okay, you're Cuban or San Dixan. Oh, it's not it's actually not It's really not really I mean they're all getting kicked out Not Puerto Rico is American why to United States Puerto Rico is the United States Yeah, he's a U.S. It's not really, it's absolutely.

It's not the United, it's a, what do you call it? It's a comment, thank you, comment, well, it's not a state. All right, where would a fuck, where would a United States have to their fucking big storm? Where would a fuck where we, they're still trying to get electricity

turned back on the Puerto Rico. No, they're not. If that was fucking Wyoming, it'd have been on in the fucking week. Will you stop ranting about shit you don't know? I do, it goes back, right? No. Oh, there's do-bots still. I don't know.

Why is that country still blacking? You could have went with me though. No, I'm sorry, Bob. I mean, the world knows. The Puerto Rican is no less than to this. I mean, we could have ganged up on Vos. That's two things he's read about. The helmets and the Puerto Ricans. And you have a Puerto Rican OG is one of the originals. I do. I love Puerto

Ricans. My first. My I do. Thank God. Yeah. Yeah. He's Puerto Rican light. He's not Puerto Rican. He's a half. He's a skateboard. He's upstate Puerto Ricans. He's a he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy.

He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy.

He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás!

Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones got the squeeze fighting. No, no, that's not that's that would be amazing. That's Chris Ellis. Yeah, who's Yeah, Alice Mania, you know Alice. He runs it's the fraction. That was his oh that's Radio guy. Yeah, I did it show in LA. No, he's a skateboarder too. Yeah, well, he's everything is MMA fighter He's a skateboarder. Yeah, we all MMA fighter. He's he just talking about it? No, he fights, he's fought. I mean, he's not in the UFC, but he's fought. What's up?

Very butt hurt and he always gets mad at Jim and Sam and everyone else blocks them. I don't know, he's weird that way. What's it else, the bitch? What just put the mic on him for a second? Ellis has been nothing but a bitch towards Jim and Sam. Really? Well, Jim and Sam are fucking assholes, but didn't know those

I'm not arguing against that I'm saying let's just has nothing to do and just argue Why because he's mad that Jim and Sam are more famous or do bad? No, I think he thinks he should have more juice on the channel know. But does it? But don't you get more than juice on the channel. Juice. Oh, not juice. The things you get at Walmart. Juice. Um, but what I'm saying is what builds up in my mouth. Uh, that's not come. Now that's Jimmy. Um, August 25th. Okay. What day is that? Saturday. Well, I can't even be able to see the fight on the show. What time is it? Well, they're on Saturday.

Oh, yeah. August 25th, hold on. Yeah, the day's have been jumbled around a lot. The worst thing when a fat coast drops the reed on the floor. Oh, I'm not even, I'm not even in Vegas on the 25th. There we are. No, we're not. We're here the week after.

Are you sure? I'm a bitch. That's what it is. It's a week before sure I'm a week is a week is a day before I'm a day before I'm a Toronto I'm doing a big benefit a big show in Toronto they get paid in the dates to like and they They're really bad with their social media and their websites I'm a little old man. Yeah, there's 25th on that brokerage. It's not just getting negatively Let's just I mean I don't know what to fucking do I was I just feel bad because I don't want the worst to get like really hurt And I'm afraid he's going to I'm a little nervous about it too. I had a dream

It was don't go on a balcony What does that mean? I don't get that Martin Luther King. Oh, what is the old references? Bonnie almost burned down there thing by Yeah, my balcony. Yeah, but they will laugh you would do it doing a Martin Luther King joke. They will laugh The dream with the balcony I knew he was talking about how Jesus Christ I'm sorry look how eager this one guy is He's a nice guy win the other one. He's so eager that Listen no need to curse

There's no curts you've been kind of a horse's ass. I've had a cool person. Yeah, but he's drunk. That's why. He's not drunk. He's drunk. I could tell what he's drunk. You can't tell a guy when he's not shit-faced, but he's got a puzzle.

I think he's a little buzz maybe tired. He had a long day. And now you're sticking up for him. Now you palsy? No, I could just read. I'm like a profiler. You're a profiler. He had a long day. You know, I could just read. I'm like a profiler. You're a profiler. He had a long day, you know, it's Tuesday.

He probably, you know, all day pounding the pavement, looking for a place to set up a restaurant. Right. You know, and then he wants you to eat a food truck. He wants you to eat other things. He doesn't want to brick a mortar. He wants something on wheels. He has something nice, something quick.

Yeah, something like. How do people in New York City eat off of food trucks when there's the best restaurants in the fucking world? Because food trucks now are amazing. I'm thinking of opening one. That chicken's empty at that one time. The one down by four.

I think I want to, I'll tell you what I want to open and this kind of goes into our thing we're going to do. Let me do this at work. Maybe I shouldn't tell her because somebody might steal the idea. They won't. Cause I already got a foothold in it. I'm already, I'm already, I already got it going down.

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Wow, what a fight. Wow, we did play that number. For me today, 62W. Did you really? Yeah, 226. It's in my wall, it's 62W. It didn't come out, I played that number today 622. We old did you really 226? It's in my wall at 622 We old it didn't come out I played in Jersey Steve Bay's fighting kumi air for the title. I'm not a title. Is it the title? Who what is the fight?

What is is that is there a the heavyweight championship on the line right in what MMA you have see that dude He's going up from light heavyweight Fighting the heavyweight champ who is a fucking monster? Steve Bay is the shit. Okay, so that's why I love UFC. Because boxing, and boxing, they never fight when they're supposed to fight, who they're fucking supposed to fight. UFC is like, fuck it, you can go fight Mayweather. You fight, we always see the fights you're supposed to see. This fight, we're not even supposed to see, and we're actually going to get to see it and you get

to get on it on bett dsi dot com what's the news you have to see an mma that's uh... uh... mma is what you literally i'll wait mma is what you do in ufc right yes mixed martial arts yes is what you do for ufc i get it now. Please, if you if you've made it this far without without shutting this off, go to bettsi.com and use promo code YK100. Get 200% bonus on your initial deposit. So again, that's www.bettsi.com promo code YK don't do any more fucking acrimon jokes

YK 100 for 200% off bonus on your initial deposit and remember YK backwards is KY Wow got greedy rich I think agreed I'm just saying I bought some the other day Yeah, let's finish that up. Oh yeah. Speaking of this, it's food trucks. I've been talking to Dominic Collins-Dombs. Remember that you were in my barbecue. You know the steak tips I get? How do I don't eat red meat?

You don't eat them. I don't know how your steak tips are. I haven't had red meat 30 years. I haven't had red meat 30 years. I never had a steak tip. Why don't I get you turkey tips? If they had turkey tips, I'd eat them in a second. Do they have turkey tips? I would eat them in a second. Do they have Turkey tips?

I would eat them in a second. I'm gonna get Turkey tips for you. For the barbecue. We're having a barbecue Monday, by the way. You coming? When? This Monday, the second. Why do you never tell me about these things?

I just told you, didn't I? I mean, it's everybody. I mean, it's not fucking Sunday. It's Tuesday. Look at that chicken. Yeah, man, what kind of, you're having another barbecue? Having a barbecue?

Or what? A small, it's just a friend's to come over for the full of July. It's at Tuesday. But it's settled down, you're getting crazy. Monday? Why are you screaming fucking days out? I'm supposed to play golf,

but maybe I'll come to the barbecue if you have turkey tips. But don't get them until I confirm Listen Monday at one o'clock one thirty. We're gonna have a little barbecue at the house. Who's gonna be there? Oh God Keith's coming Are you coming? Yeah, are you coming? I don't get back to Tuesday. You can't come Now you can't come No, dude, you can't come here again Now you can't come. No, you can't come here again.

Never mind my house. I was with the shot. Thank you. Yeah, a bunch of people. We get creative. What the fuck? I do need one gutter clean though. Yeah, we get turkey tips. Don't see where it says turkey tips. Show them. Right there.

He highlighted it. Creamy Caesar turkey tips. Organ it says turkey tips show them right there. I like where he highlighted it creamy Caesar turkey tips organic style turkey tips and honey must what day you put on the grill I wrote again. Do you put on the grill? No, I put them in my hand and let the sun heat them Yeah, I'm the grill you're fucking Are you fuckery? Are you nuts? I don't know what turkey tips if you would grill on I don't know what turkey tips if you agree on I Understand you I never had you Tip you put it on the deal. It's all on maybe you bake them. I don't fucking know

Listen you could bake them you can do anything with meat any type of meat You could do whatever you want you could grill them you can bake them. Yeah, really boil it You could boil it it would taste like garbage, but I talked to Dom. We've been talking. We did this big thing on the show where I'm trying to fucking. We are not fucking with the sponsors of the show. Could you not? Oh, they're sponsors.

Yes. I didn't know that. It doesn't matter. You should be. You're talking about him like he's your pal. Well listen, I mean mean we're not pals, but we're friendly and we're doing a giveaway I'm giving away. I'm I'm getting to it. Can I have some turkey? No, you can't now. You just yon I yon because I'm tired. I had a long day. Oh Jesus. Here we go. I walk from Penn station I know I heard you we stop acting like that's a fucking long walk backwards.

I hope you fucking walk off a bridge tonight. I really do. Listen. I can't stand you. What are they doing with the old tap and see? You want a new one? They took it down. It's halfway down. Why? I think there's just like a park? She's dumb. They took it down. It's halfway down.

Why, I think there's just like a park out there. No, they took it down. It was too dangerous. They're literally almost done with the whole thing. What's up? It's like too rickety. Too rickety. I never wanted to say the word rickety in my life.

He just made me say it. But for a park, I mean, how rickety. Please don't have to do that again. Rickety. Um, yeah. I'm now rickety's in my fucking head Go ahead I can't get I gotta get thinking something else beside rickety give me another word

Francho no, it's not fragile No, what are you talking about to bring? Puerto Ricans love that word what? about to bring to the war against love that word what what what just every my my foster brother come yellow cinches used to use that word all the time you all bobby i'm discombigulated

and i was like that's not a word goes it is a word anyway and it was a fucking word it means a fiction it doesn't ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm gonna see how long we can do this. We're gonna talk to Dom. I'm gonna send, we sent the letters over to him, so he's got him. I'm gonna read a couple, actually Gabby's gonna read a couple right now, really quick, and we're gonna pick from the hat,

Rich, you will pick from the hat. Can we use your hat? No. Why? Go ahead. I put them in there. Let me see Rich's hat. No.

I'm not gonna, Rich, I will. I'm not my good hat. Buddy, I will not fuck, Rich, I will not. It's my good hat. Buddy, I will not fuck you. I don't want to pick you at, though. Put it down. Put it down. Put it down. All right, we got some of the letters.

Put the fucking hat down over here, right there. Leave it there. Okay. Okay. To whom it may concern. Hello, my name is Niko, and I am writing you in hopes that you will consider me for the steak tip giveaway Why should a simple husky Italian boy such as myself be considered for such a prestigious award?

You might ask Let me tell you I have been living with my ultra vegan girlfriend for five years Herping vegan doing most of the cooking means that I am vegan by proxy. Oh God. I grew up at this is a lot This is a letter. I will speed it up. I grew up in a traditional Italian household. They fasted it to my camping fucking stories never mind this Oh, please give you hepatitis again. Are you giving away hepatitis? No, I'm giving away We tried for that. We made our own sausage and our own cured pork delicacies mixed in the homemade sauces and noodles that my grandmother would make from scratch. Needless to say, I grew up in a nice thick and plump Mediterranean

boy. And my grandmother's dead. And then it ends. So I can't eat that shit anymore. I can eat my wife's crappy vegan crap. Please send me some state tips because I'm a loser trying to win a contest. Wrap it up. That's basically it. That's it. I'm a huge fan of the show and if you decided to give me someone, give them someone else, I will understand and still be a fan.

Thank you for your consideration. All right, what else you got? What a nice,'s a nice letter. I mean riches riches version of I like to That was a beautiful one so you she's gonna read the letter and you can just put it in the your version Okay, all right good. This is the next one. I need these stick tips because I have a tiny penis. That's all I wrote that one I Like it those quick into the point like his

What's he gonna do tape the steak tips on this fucking go ahead? Well they do have sausages Garlic and cheese sausages And now you listen to fucking noran andi too much you're you're dealing with rich boss now what is that I ran out of steam he thinks this is fucking one of those fucking opi or antinie shows this is rich boss live motherfucker actually is my show and we're doing together what's that hold on he uttered something what is it I don't know I like him let's go all I do is sit. I like them. Let's go. All I do is sit around and think about Bobby's goddamn beef tips.

Spent many a night pursuing Dom's Instagram to soothe myself to sleep with sweet dreams of drippy saucy tips. I live in Texas and no such thing is available to me here. Please send me tips. I'll volunteer myself to be a Spanish podcast pianist. First of all, if you live in Texas and you can't find steak, you can't get them. They'll go fuck you. You're not steak tips, huh?

You can get a steak and cut the tip off. And now you have a steak tip. That's right. There you have your steak tip. We stopped looking for fans of warrants. That's my fans of warrants. That's not what it is. This is the thing that people don't get,

that these steak tips are, you think you had them you haven't You think you've tried them, but you when everybody who's tried them has fucking lost their minds. Yes, sir Yeah, you can go to dombs sausage.com and order them How is he gonna do that where there's he has no place to have them delivered? We should do But we should though, as we can have, we should have a barbecue at the end of the summer and a fan can come to the house, not you.

You fucked up by bringing him. You're gonna have to, I know, you girlfriend, I love you girlfriend. Why are you mad? We're gonna have, we gotta get through this show first. How do you know him? He comes all the time. Oh I just stand what I'm talking to my

Would you if you're gonna talk talk to what do we have it just I just listen. I'm a big act I use a lot of people big act, but I've seen you stand a bunch of times. Yeah, we had a pose off one time where at the stand upstairs downstairs. Oh my god downstairs. Who was at my uh women on funny premiere? He doesn't remember me at all. I didn't know women are we didn't do our premiere though we did. Caroline. Do you know what I say something? He's there. Colin was there. He's defense. He's fucking 70. I said Saturday. I'll be 61. Okay. Saturday. You can't he's not, and we're just at his unmasked. Yeah, but you're not dealing with a 28 year old buck

that's excited about this fucking ship business anymore. Okay. He's been doing it for 40 years. 34. And he doesn't remember where he was last week. He goes every week, he goes, does a, he goes to a wall and what gets bread rounds and bananas. And then golfs and then does a show and then comes home

And I and one thing I don't do is write in letters for free State tips because my life is not fall on the point stop to fucking trash in this No, I'm not trying to stay tips. I'm trying to knees fucking more on those are the people that are fucking Supporting not supporting to trying to get free shit. You used to go on Craigslist for beamers No, I think I went on fucking on first of all is eBay and I try to get free shit you used to go with Craigslist for beamers now i did i went on fucking on first-ralls ebay and i try to get a roise a roll's roise and let me tell you this rolls roise the one that i saw on ebay was fucking amazing until i got there

he took a picture of another rolls roise and and then try to sell me his fucking bullshit rolls so that i am not but you don't buy stuff on an eBay or Amazon. You can get, huh? Cars. You don't buy stuff on eBay. No, I don't. Are you kidding me? All right. Listen, we got golf clubs. Kidding me. Hats you. Name it. Put the mic down. You can't get state clips on the eBay. You gotta, you don't buy stuff on. Listen, shut up. Why you talk? He said no. I don't believe it. Everybody goes to eBay. You have to understand you bought a Rolls Royce

I didn't buy it. I tried to try to buy a fucking antique Money now look at the car for sale. There's tons of cars. We're not doing that. It's not Jewish Rolls-first wall if I would have bought a Rolls Royce. That's very anti-Semitic is what that is No, you can't say something's Jewish because I just want to say money I try to save money of course they do but my people own the home and we let you live there on a monthly basis you kidding me boss will always win yeah boss will always win. Voss will always win. That's true.

He will. He'll fucking, he'll peter out in a second, but he always wins. He'll get pretty. No, the state tips, what I'm trying to say is, right, if the turkey tips are as good as the state tips, they're insane. The place, the place is insane.

Well, I don't get by tips. You can't get, there's a certain thing that they do. What do they do? They have a certain machine that tenderizes them in a certain way. Nobody in the fucking country does it. This is the only place that doesn't. I might get a fruit truck that does it.

Bob's steak tips? What? More than even the steak tips, please. What the fuck? You're gonna have to get him out of my fucking fight him. I'm gonna fucking fight ya. I'm gonna fight ya. I'm gonna fight. I'm in the mood to get, I'll take a beating out on my fucking fight him. I'm gonna fucking fight him. I'm gonna fight you. I'm gonna fight.

I'm in the mood to get, I'll take a beating or I'll fucking give one. You're not, huh? I'm probably gonna take the beating. He probably, no, let's go. Okay, sup. Proud hate me on the corner. This is fucking crazy.

I think I deserve steak tips because I'm a musician and I could use a good meal. I eat a lot of tuna. Ha, ha, ha. My best y'all Andrew Rich has a full knife. Listen, I don't want knives out it. Please Please put it. I don't want I look I just pull the knife out because Desire is I wanted to make him feel at home

Everybody put the knives away. It's legal. All right. No more mics for fucking these people. Settle the fuck down. I'm settled. I want to cut my steak tips. It's been the greatest thing ever as if this guy snapped and Voss stabbed him and then Voss went to jail for 16 years for killing an audience member. I mean, fuck you. Yeah, but when I got out, there's no club that won't headline me. They want to hear the story. Yeah, we don't buy boss art. This painting I did when I just took it up the douche by a big black dude. This is what I think.

I want to prison. I got it. Because these are implants. Oh God. I would have them make me implants that come to a point. All my teeth that come to a point. So no one would let me blow them because they would think I'd bite their fucking you know, you know, the lowest you're wet mouth would be in jail. Okay. My fucking I have dip tips in my mouth Like that and then I get letters Your bottom lip is always wet. There's why I want a tip Dude you're your mouth in prison is just just delectable. Oh, look at that bottom look at that shiny bottom lip right now So I'm trying to dry it off

Let me tell you something I think I'd be able to handle myself in prison a little better than you because I'm a lot more Street I know you know what I'm saying. I didn't know you know. I don't what does that mean? Because you do you play you play golf you play golf and you make banana sandwiches. How street are you? Well, they don't know that I'm prison. I go in prison. I go yo-yo like that prison, I go in prison and go yo yo like that. And then if you look at me, I go, when I'm talking to you, mother fucker, you look me in the eye. Okay, you look me in the eye when I'm talking.

That's how it goes in prison. That's you, who are you talking to when you say that? I'm looking you in the eye, so I'm talking to you. So I'm the guy in prison, you're gonna walk in and say, what's the name? If you say something, if you got, you got something to say to me, you look me in the eye, bitch.

All right, so I'm looking. Give me your toothpaste. I'm looking at your toothpaste What give me your toothpaste Take your fucking toothpaste mother fucker well anyways, give me your chips Chips Dev potato. Oh the potato chips. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been to you? No, just overnight just nice shit I'm not even county local Local what is county local what is that local is in your town? You get arrested for some dumb shit

What do you do overnight? Oh when you when you're using no not for yeah, but it was probably car stuff Or you haven't got arrested since you've been clean. I never I never got a ticket since I got one ticket since I've been clean. But I never got a residence for a big shit, you know, probably a warrant for not showing up to court, you know, and then you take your real prisoner, you're staying overnight, that you burn your name and the ceiling with a lighter, you know, boss. Big deal, I was in fucking local police station for one night. Woo, I just had some real hard time in that motherfucker. I burnt my name up there.

They let you in with a, they gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light.

They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light.

They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. They gave you a light. 60 Holy shit. I would have been four then yeah, I was robbing more fuckers at nursery Why are you talking like this? I'm still in prison. We're not now We're out prison cast studio, but the opposite. Oh, yeah God that was scary And my show's a pick a name out of this hat. We're gonna pick a name We're gonna pick the winner right now. I think we should stop saying that. I mean no your contest You're a worse. I don't mean I'm not doing sponsors I mean, no, your contest is good. You're the worst.

I don't mean, I'm not sure. Do you want sponsors? No, huh? Do you want sponsors? I need at least one sponsor. Well then, stop fucking doing what you do. I'm not trusting the sponsor. You just, you're traging the people who are sporting the sponsor.

They're not trying to get free shit. That's supporting it, and then they get something free and they'll go buy it if they like it. Then just give one to everybody. I can't just do many. You're fucking... That's one pound everybody. I can't just do many. You're fucking. That's one pound of tips. Shut up per winner.

Shut up. I'll chip in. I'll throw a pound. How much is a pound cost? 75 bucks. Fuck that. No, it's not. No, kidding you idiot.

I was gonna say these are some real nice tips. All right, go ahead. They cut or uncut. Get it. Yeah, we got it we just these guys don't win well oh my god what's the difference what the fuck I pick another name I pick any name I pick a name here's the winner is that the winner give it to me give it to me can you read yes I can read barely here's no I'm taking dump it out to losers. I don't call them losers.

Well, they didn't win. Nicholas Mund. Is that his name? Mund? Nicholas. You won the Dom Steak Tips. Wait, but did he write a letter? What?

Did he write a letter? No, we didn't read all of them. There's too many of them. We could read it. It's right here. Oh, yeah, I've got to read. Let's read Nicholas's read nickelist is good afternoon wiki wd friends i have personally never had state tips in my life but my stepfather has brought them up multiple times he grew up in a new york city where he bounced around from various jobs eventually

ending up in the restaurant business so dealing with cuts of stake with something he did on the daily before memorial day my step father suffered a stroke and just returned home as of last week the family wants to throw a big B.B.Q. for this summer to celebrate his recovery and I think these state state tip tips Bobby raves about would be the perfect addition to it's just a pound oh and then he goes p.s Bobby owes me one for calling me fat last time he played helium and Buffalo oh you little chubby so here's your thing if somebody had on part of that.

I don't know if we want to pump them with any more cholesterol. I bet you've sent them to Stag Tips and this will put them over the edge. Yeah. All right, so there's the winner. We're gonna pick another winner next week. The shops take tips, go to, thank you.

The HumsSauce.com and sausage one. DomSauce.com and get yourself the garlic cheese sausages are the steak tips they got turkey tips the original steak tips is what I get that we're having at the party so make sure you go there checking out that unbelievable my goal is to get

get them a New York City that be crazy I'm gonna get a New York City either a truck or a fucking card what do you get them up Boston? No Boston Boston has some of the best food those goddamn lobster All some boss money which is with fucking liz's head in his hand. I don't think I'd laugh at that I would I'd laugh for a second very quietly and then I'd run for the door and fucking kick Gabby's legs So she fell in front of him

And we're gonna have to wrap this up soon, huh? Shut up. You don't say when you wrap it up him. Hey, we're gonna have to wrap this up soon, huh? Shut up, you don't say when you wrap it up. Oh, you don't? No, I wrap it up. You've been on the show before. I've been on a lot. You have.

I love doing this show. Apparently, you know, you want to wrap it up since you got in here. No, my wife is downstairs. What do you want me to do about that? Nothing, you want to bring her up? No. Neither do I.

You really want to bring her up with these fucking lunatics in here. No, they should get appreciate me Why they're pretty good looking guys what's there why they're good looking guys You know guys are good looking he's he's a Four but his okay, he might be a seven, but his negative three brings him to a four Please look at you. Stop. Oh, you kidding me? I want to squeeze the grease out of your hair and come steak tips.

But with the steak tips, you don't need any grease. They come in their own marinade. Oh, they do. Yeah. That's the reason I have about them is that Dom's Day tip doesn't need anything. You just take them out of the bag and throw him on the grill. And push man great. I nailed it, full circle. Thank you.

Gabby, what do you got? You got this thing I wanna talk, oh she went to the, I wanna know about she went to Kath and Griffin's show. Yeah, Radio City. Yes, let me say this real quick. Alright, go ahead, go ahead. There you go.

Yeah, well here's, and I know Kathie, I'm known her forever, We talk whenever I see her. Uh, you can't apologize. Then go, I take it back months later. She's losing it. She went after Kevin Hart, saying, he's a pussy. He's a pussy for nuts. That's not what Kevin does. Kevin's not political. Kevin is a movie star and he cannot alienate half of his audience he cannot take a political stance or you don't have to when you're that well if they're saying though is some of these comics are saying if you do not I think if you do not talk about it and I don't know if they're saying that you don't talk about it and pick our side

You're a piece of shit or you're a pussy. I think they're saying if you're on our side and you think Trump is a piece of shit And you're not talking about it. You're a pussy. So they're like I kind of got confused with that I'm like wait a minute if I don't believe what the fuck you believe and I'm a pussy I don't think that's it she's saying I'm look, if you think Trump's a hunk of shit and you're doing fluffy stuff, and you're not talking about it, I agree with you, but I think that's what she's saying. Look when tough crowd was on the air.

There was a lot of comics that wouldn't do it because it was so political, and they don't wanna lose heft, or, you know, they, no, a lot of people didn't wanna do it because it was politically incorrect, because we would say shit Yeah, you weren't funny. We'd say boo Yeah, but also it lean commonly into the right at the time

At the time you know, I was more centered. I believe I don't think he's right. I think he was centered I think a lot of us are centered. Yeah I saw a lot left leaning I think I think what's happened is that we've kind of been pushed over there age wise now now yeah i think the older you get you become a little more republican but also i think that with things the way the left is fucking kind of went a little crazy you're my values have become more conservative

just because of where the left went i think both sides. I mean, I'm not on the extremist on both sides, I have ruined both sides. Extremist, ruined everything, because you can't, you can't, you can't have a tough crowd right now though. Tough crowd got taken off the air

because it was down, it had both sides. You understand? The daily show was on the air and I think John did a great job of, I think he did a great job, had both sides you understand the daily show is on the air and i think john did a great job of i think you did a great job but it was left leaning yeah of course always always always for it was more for what the politics of comedy central were for same with the more of the exactly so

but i think bill and the you know she'll there's a lot of people who should have left these a lot, how stupid they are and how to be good with policing language. Yeah, I think that it's a little crazy, you know, with that, I mean, I don't think you should police anything, you know, I don't think you should. But I don't think who is Kathy to go after Kevin for headlines.

Well, she, but she's, but it's exactly what it is, but it's, that's exactly what you said. You said it. You said it. But it's headlines. No, it's headlines. Well, she but she's but it's exactly what it is But it's that's exactly because that alien come but it's headlines. No, it's headlines. Yeah I learned a weird thing when I was in Hollywood a few years ago And five years ago I was in LA trying to make it you have to we had to go for pilot season Back in the day people don't know this but back in the day you before the writer's strike and Before I think it was Bloomberg, or Giuliani, relieved New York of taxes. New York City to film here was so fucking expensive.

Nobody did it. They just went to Vancouver, Toronto, if they needed New York City, and they did stuff in LA. All the shows were in LA. So as an actor, you had to go to three months out of the year, you had to go for pilot season in LA. So you had to go to three months out of the year, you had to go for pilot season in LA. So you had to go around to apartment,

or get somebody to stay with. I slept on floors, I fucking got shitty apartments, and you'd go out there, and that's where all the auditions were, okay? Now that's not the case. Now you can stay. Now it's everywhere, it's Atlanta. It led a lot of people to Atlanta now.

But so they still have pilot season in LA? They do not, they don't? No, it's everywhere, it's Atlanta. It lands, a lot of people move to Atlanta now. But so they still have pilots season L.A. They do not. They don't? No, it's all year long. You're talking about there was three networks. There was like five other channels. There was maybe, I don't know, 40 shows, maybe a year. Now there's 600 shows.

And I can't get one on the year. Can't you snack, yes, you can't not. Yes. There's a lot of movies that are like. Yes. They're all in Atlanta. Oh, really? Yeah, they're all in Atlanta. That's fucking insane. Yeah, new Lou Cage came out, new season.

That's awesome. But. Some of that in Crown Heights in Brooklyn. Yeah, but they do? No, I lost my point. I fucking forget. Well, your point was that we were talking about headlines with her and and and and and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and her and and and and and and cab a little cab Oh, what I went out there. I learned that like people would like famous people

I'm not gonna say it, but whatever they would actually tell the paparazzi They would do weird shit to get headlines, yeah, like they would do Fucked up shit and tell the paparazzi the pot. They would be in on it The paparazzi's in on some of this weird shit too. Of course, the publicists would call and say, someone's always gonna be here. Yeah, of course.

Wow, so you bring up Kevin Hart. Why the fuck would you, he's the number one biggest touring comic in the world right now. Why wouldn't you bring him up? Throw his name into it, add some controversy. Because one, he could, he could squash her. Cannot.

He could not. Cannot. His fanbase isn't gay and fucking. No, but no, but his fucking middle age women. His fanbase isn't you? No. You're right. I am a middle age woman.

No, yeah. Yeah, you're in Keith. I've got wine sippers. You shardin' eyed bitches. Why go after him? Because it's petty and it makes, it really makes you, I don't know, just make sure look bad. You know, what, what, he's already had enough press.

Fucking just go to your shows, sell your tickets. But if you stop, you're done in show business, but you're not done as a comic Here's the thing though if you you said sorry blah blah blah and then you like okay if you're getting kicked out of the party You might as well fucking light the place on fire I mean mine as we'll just go fuck it. I'm doubling down. That's what Trump does Trump just doubles the fuck down people like that just double the fuck down on what they're doing and you're gonna go, you're gonna go fuck her or fuck that, that stupid. But her fan base, those fucking lunatics

who love her are gonna go, yeah girl, fuck head on heart. You know where they, where were they when she first got in trouble? She wasn't torn. Well, well, she was not in the theaters or in the news or either. It was in theaters, it wasn't her fan base. But it was, you know, it did hurt her. Because you understand, most, it did hurt her. Because you're gonna stand in most, why did Trump win?

There's most people I think that are in the center. Are in the middle going, wait a minute, I don't want to vote for that one, I don't, well, fuck it, all right, let's try this one. Let's see what the fuck's up. I think he's gonna win again, too. I don't. It depends who the left puts up.

It depends. I don't know, man, it's fucked up. It depends if they would have put up, if they would have put up if Bloomberg would have ran he probably would have won I would have voted for Bloomberg Guys, all right guys, all right, you stop fucking talking to them. They're not on fucking Mike. He's Jesus Christ. I know he's smart He's smart. All right, buddy. You. It's not you. It's him. What do you mean it's me? Because you keep talking to him and I'm repeating what he says.

He's not on Mike. I don't know. That's why I'm repeating what he says. It's like when you talk to someone in the audience in the front row, you repeat. So the people in the back row would know how to pick up the mic. If you're going to ask, I don't want to get that much into it with him. But the people listening can hear him. So you're having a conversation. I'd why repeated what he said. He said something like Bloomberg. I said that he said.

Back off the mic. No, he said Bloomberg put an 80 million. I was going to go Bloomberg put an 80 million. See that's repeating what he said. So what he knows when you don't have a mic. This is a category and different. Thispear she went to England and like did a whole tour there. Okay, there you go. That's your fault. What do you got? How was it? My fault. That's your fault. You got this fucking buzz douche that usually comes in and just quietly watches the show and laughs. Now he brought his fucking lunatic ponytail wearing fucking Navy seal Ranger killer. There's probably done two tours in Afghanistan open up.

Fence off to doing Navy. See, you're too fast off to do it baby. Maybe. I hope you two fast off. He's not even a Navy. He's not even a Navy dolphin. I'm just trying to say big words. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, I'm sorry. We're not going to do this. I have.

Oh, oh, super kick. Oh, it was three hours long, but I wouldn't call it stand up. Three hours. Three hours. It was eight You know first of all what time to get over 11 Isn't that like going into union shit? You know though about your dad and all that stuff. Yeah, it was great Well, that's what was it at radio city? I radio city if you go over 11. It's $5,000 a minute Wow, so literally she wrapped it like 1059

Yeah, and the music went off and everyone fucking ran out. Yeah, if you go over 11 It's $5,000 a minute. So literally she wrapped it like 1059. And the music went off and everyone fucking ran out. Yeah, if you go over 11, they start a lot, union rules and theaters goes fucking crazy. That's how it is at my house with Bonnie. If I go over. You get fined. Give me the light.

Big time. I got to clean a room. Every time I go over a minute, I got a clean another room. I Don't know what I'm saying now. I'm I'm delirious But wait, how is her show? I want to stand up. It was like no neither would neither would most of the people Wasn't funny it was funny at moments, but it was like a fucking tell-off. She's just Transition that she does now should tell naming naming names, but it wasn't even like...

What shocked you? The punch. The fact that you were there. Just there. You made it three hours. No, I remember saying there, I was like, this hour is fucking long, and I looked at my phone and I had been two and a half hours.

Wow. Like, they didn't even tell you. Because you wouldn't go. Yeah. Three hours of Kathy Griffith ranting about her fucking life. Crazy. They didn't even tell you. Because you wouldn't go. Yeah. Well, her three hours of tathie griffin, ranting about her. Crazy. Is she mad? Mad like crazy mad. A angry mad.

Both did she trash Cohen? What's his name from a bravo? Yeah. And, uh, oh, for an hour. She trashed him and what Anderson Cooper? Mm hmm. She trashed Anderson. Yeah, they all turned around. Everyone. What did she say about how it's turned? She likes Howard. Oh, good, good.

But Anderson Cooper, she trashed them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No shit. Yeah, she named. But it wasn't in name. It wasn't funny at all. It wasn't funny, I would say, for the first 45 minutes. It was like dead.

It was almost serious. And did the audience were they upset or are they going with it or do you go girl? Like what the fuck? It ended up to be like everyone being like, yeah, like a bunch of gays screaming and don't get me wrong. I love that shit, but it was, I couldn't, I wasn't laughing at jokes, you know what I mean?

It was just, everyone was like gasping at what happened. So you all know what happened? We all know what happened. She did this. A lot of her friends didn't come to her aid. A lot of people fucking just threw her under the bus and said, we're not going to be there for you. That were her friends.

Anderson Cooper and what's his name? Cohen, kind of fucking just cut ties with her. So look, we know what happened. You've talked about it on Stern, on every talk show. If you're gonna do a live show, I think you gotta have some kind of funny. But didn't she do that before though? Isn't that what she does? I'm pretty sure that's what she does.

Well, she's like a Gossam columnist. She goes on stage and says, oh, I went to Brad Pitt's house. And then she talks about that for 20 minutes about all the fucked up. She took a shit in Brad Pitt's toilet. Well, if you make it funny, yes, there's nothing wrong with it. I understand that. But I mean, I think she probably adds, I've seen some of her stand up, but she adds funny whatever. She tells a funny story, but that's what it is. She told some funny stories like she was, you know, neighbors with Cam and Kanye. And she went on like certain bits occasionally but for a long time it

was just like a speech did anybody boo? no. nobody said anything. no. which they weren't laughing. they started laughing in like 45 minutes I know it's like she did a couple bits at the beginning but it was more like what do you want? Can you imagine what do you want? Stay tense raising his hand like I don't want to fucking shitty

Asshole chick in the front row of a comedy club. I was gonna try and interrupt you. What do you want? Was he doing like a Lenny Bruce like at the end? Like she or he cursing well Kathy Griffin she's saying how she's is going on and on about the end. She or he cursing well Kathy Griffin she's saying how she's going on and on about since it would let me boost it at the end of his career just kind of writing more about anti-establishment and against her brain that's what she's doing. No she's ranging against so business and the industry that is shunned her but yes the right part of it that shunned her that is shunter, but the right part of it that shunter, which is not your wife, but the left bailed on her. Her friends are left. Can I say something to both of you? It wasn't bad.

I'm not terrible. You're a fucking mom. I'll tell you why. Can I tell you why? Can I tell you? It's still you, but you're still a douche. But I'll tell you, she, the person that was there is literally telling you exactly what she said. But you're not listening. You're asking the question, you know, she was literally in the middle of it going, this is what she was talking about, this is what she was saying. She was telling us what happened and you're going, and you're looking at me.

And if you just listen to her, you would have heard your question. It's not a Lenny Bruce rant. She's literally doing what she's done the whole time. It's just not funny. Next time you have a question, next time you have a question, if you mail it in, you can win State 10. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's true. I'll give him a fucking back with my down for that Yeah, maybe that Mike

There's a little I'm comfortable tonight, but I Kind of like it. I like it. Oh, just fuck it everything That's an addict when as a recovering addict. I'm comfortable being uncomfortable. Would you say my pants? Yeah, what did he say? This is Mike's fucking greatest gift to this podcast ever. He says funny lines that nobody ever hears. Ever. You said what's uncomfortable when you went my pants? The fat one.

Oh, the other fat one. That's all. Before you say it. Anyways. He's not really fat, He's just on his way. On his way where, the fucking coffin? How old are you? 12.

No, how old are you? 52. No, you're not. No, I'm 39. You got that disease that makes you grow old fast. Like, you know, when you look older than you, you know what I mean? That, that, uh, progilia? Yeah.

No. You don't have that? No, I'd look way older That uh, progilia? Yeah, no. You don't have that? No, I'd look way older if I had progilia. No, you do. You look like, no, you wouldn't look like me ever. OK. To look like me, you'd have to not eat steak tips on a daily basis. So do you're at trashing my fat?

I'm not old. Those are two different things. I'm fat, not old. I just hear fat. I know what I'm saying. Now do you say I'm too fat to, that makes me look old? That doesn't make any sense. No, your face makes you look old. I have nothing to do I know what I'm saying. Now you say I'm too fat. It makes me look old That doesn't make me face make you look old. I had nothing to do with your fatness. Yeah Well, I don't know what you're talking. I got it. I thought you were I'm just saying you know what I'm gonna back away

So this isn't going away. I thought That's going the way we thought he's like you know Did you ever think your arms would be that hairy? Yeah, that's gross. Yeah Did you ever think your arms would be that hairy? Oh yeah. That's gross. Yeah, I saw my mom's arms. What the fuck man? You bring nothing but just evil.

Is your back that hairy? Oh my god, what the fuck, boss? I'm just asking him, he looks like a werewolf. I want to wear garlic when I come in here. That's not even how he put it anyway. But it's a werewolf with milk pattern... Anyway, I know that's it. It's a wearable foot milk pattern baldness, which is also pretty sad. We're never going to just rack your garlic and dumb dumb dumb. We're never going to rack your garlic and dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb How you can do that? This is amazing. It's really a fucking gift that only boss has. Oh no, don't ruin it.

Shut up. Jesus, Jesus. He's putting back in a bottle. Yeah, this is a fucking last time we have guests in the studio. Okay. So now, did anybody open for Kathy or she went on? No, she went out cold.

She did a little video. 45 minutes, nothing. And then she must do a tack Trump you know how long she talk about trump the entire thing was but we you we you did you agree with everything she said or you appoints like uh... are she's going to the two-year she wasn't really talking about like political views she was talking about what happened to her if if he really said i'm not sorry for what i did yeah she would walk out with a Trump head in our hand.

That's true. That's true. You know what I mean? If she's really like, fuck him, I'm not sorry. She would go and... I think you don't do that though because of all the beheading the Americans and soldiers that were beheading. She's not.

You really can't. It's like, I'm sure she's sorry for that. Well, then she would have dragged a Trump dummy out. You know what dummy out. I know, but you can't really hold that head up because you're a fan of people just a whole body maybe like drop them from the ceiling from the wing. No, you drop them from with his feet tied and you beat them like a pinata and candy comes out of them. She does that for three hours. I don't know look. Look, she's selling out radio city musical. Was it so loud?

She was doing something right. You were there. Yeah. Was it the balcony empty? I was on the balcony. It was full. The whole thing was full. You didn't count to seats.

Yeah, I counted everyone. No, was it full? Was it packed out? It was pretty packed. Yeah, wow. That's a lot of fucking money. Yeah, radio streaming music. You know know so she's doing something right obviously but who am I I just I do fucking dumb comedy clubs

she's doing fucking radio series musical i mean it wasn't bad like it was interesting yes i just wanted to i was dying laughing at any part so it's not uh... whatever is the name is tyson yeah his one one man shows really good. No, Piscins Mike Tyson. No, not Mike Tyson the other one the Titus the scientist. Oh Neal de Grasse. Yeah Neal de Grasse. I mean, that's interesting, but you're not going to see interesting You're going to see a comedy show. So, if you want interest, can I say something? You go to Columbia and listen to a professor.

Comedy is not about, I know, it's about finding your... It's not about, look, comedy's going in a fucking weird place where it's not about how funny you are. It's about your message, your character. Whatever thing, like that new girl on Netflix. That's laying down on stage or saying comedy sucks. I don't know what's her name, the girl what's her name? She's on fire Hannah Gadgeth Hannah Gadgeth just said that I mean she had a bit article in Huff Poe that she said comics

Are using free speech as an excuse to say hate shit, right? Yeah, what did she say? Yeah? If your only responsibility is to make people laugh, then get off television. I don't understand. I don't know. Well, why do you gotta be... Look at that. Why is she angry? Because she's...

Why are you mad? This is the month you supposed to be tolerant. Well, scroll down. I don't understand it. Why are you mad? What the fuck? Why are you telling... Why are you telling... What the fuck? Well, why are you telling? She is gay and gay people have put up with a lot of shit throughout the years from comics.

I mean, it was, I do get her point when it comes to that, like just like, you know, whatever, as as a gay person, you know, comics have been using the word fat gay, this and that forever, and now finally they're getting their say. So I get that, but yes, as a comic, you still have to be fucking funny. You have a nobody, I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, okay, but you're talking about the evolution of people.

So people used to use the N word. People used to do a lot of things. I mean, used to. Yeah, I'm public. Yeah, okay. Not in your car by yourself with your other friends on a road trip. Well, I'm saying that people used okay. Not in your car by yourself with your other friends on a road trip. Well, I'm saying that people used to do a lot of fucked up shit.

You don't do it anymore, you kind of evolve out of it. And I don't know, I don't know one comic that goes on and say, yeah, look at you, you faggot. I don't know one comic that does that now. They still, shitty road hacks still do that so long, though. Yeah, they, no shit. Yeah, you know what I mean?

The black guy say, oh, retarded on stage. Yeah. You know, that's just as bad, you know, they say, retarded, retarded, retarded, retarded that. You know, no, her sister is mentally handicapped. So, and she loves her sister, and her sister's the sweetest person on the planet. So when somebody's up there saying that,

you know, and the only difference is between mentally handicapped and black people, or people in the wheelchair, or gay people, they can defend themselves. A mentally handicapped person can't defend themselves. They can't, they can't run about like somebody's face. See what I mean? I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

I worked with mentally retarded handicapped people for three years, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I worked with mentally retarded handicap people for three years. I lived in a house with them. I lived with six elderly, mentally, back then, mentally retarded, mentally challenged now. And there's some mentally handicapped person going, I live with six mentally. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know, you know, Voss has a good one with his eyes squinted up.

I knew one was coming. That was good. Yeah, but I mean, but what you're saying is that, well, I don't care what she does. I'll go see what she does. I don't know if she's funny. She's just going over here. I'd like to go see it, I'm not gonna sit there and go, oh, you're doing comedy wrong. I don't give a fuck if you're a joke writer, a joke teller, a storyteller, or whatever, it's like,

Yes. It's like, you can't, just because you do your shit and you don't get laughs, I like to get laughs. So you're saying what I do, because I'm just getting laughs though, I'm not being revealing. Are you crazy? We are the most revealing comics on the planet. All the stuff we've done on radio in podcasts on stage. You know, there's comics like you'll see somebody like Brian Regan, who says, funny is

anybody on this planet, right? Funny, but he's not revealing his life. You don't know Brian Regan,. You just think he's a funny mother fucker But when you go see somebody like a Patrice or a stand-hope or you or Norton or me You know that person. Yeah, so there's a different type of comedy and not saying one's better than the other Like just comics that do comedy from their head and there's comedics that do it from their heart Just there's a big difference. I just think when you're trying to change, when you're trying to change, when you get power like that or you get type of, and then to say like, oh, we shouldn't be doing this type

of comedy anymore. You're like saying, how you calling what, calling and prior shouldn't have done what they did. But I think the beauty about a comic and that some comics don't do it. All right, stop. All right. We can't hear you. I don't mean to be a dick, but you're fucking just, you know what I mean?

What they did is they took fucked up things and wrote jokes around them. Yes. And it was funny. Well fucked up experiences. But they even like, it's like you can go and talk about Trump for an hour and a half. If it's not funny, why the fuck am I going to see you? To listen to you, what?

I could hear that at a fucking, in the table, in the back at the club. Yeah. I can hear anybody saying how fucked up he is, in their opinion. Right, yeah. You know, I don't know, but there's people, obviously he sold out, ready to send a musical.

This girl, this girl sold out, Carnegie Hall in the added radio after that. This girl right here is on fire. There's a girl that was on stage, I think in Austria, someone that lays down and does a right, was doing a part of her act laying down. You know, whatever, look, if you do comedy, performance art, alternative, whatever the fuck you do,

fine, but don't go after someone else because they, whatever the fuck you do, fine. But don't go after someone else because they don't do what you do. You're attacking a style of comedy because it's not your thing. And it's like, what if, what if, okay, what if we did that? What if we were like, you're not fucking funny? I've seen you, you don't get laughs, you're doing a one woman show. And it's not stand up comedy. You're talking about something different than what I do.

I do stand up comedy, which is laughs every 30 seconds, an hour, because I'm a headliner, that's what I do. I take my life, certain guys to take topical stuff, some guys do evergreen stuff, but we make you laugh the whole time. What you're doing is a one-woman show. It's not comedy, and the stick it in comedy is ridiculous. And then to say what I'm doing is fucking not funny anymore, or not relevant, is fucking nuts to me.

But also too, she's not like on the comedy circuit amongst us. Yeah. So it doesn't hurt her to say whatever she wants, because she's not walking into the comedy store or the improv or whatever. This just came out of my coffee. I don't know what it is. It could be a mothwing. I don't know what it is. See as Chris you had your milk from up front. See what I'm saying? I do

I'm so she's not dealing she's not dealing with the comedy community. Yeah, you know Look, I don't I don't care about people. I've been doing that's her right now It's fucking lesbian motorcycle squad. Oh, I thought I was her breathing. I Nothing okay, so they're not all good. What I'm saying is, you know, it's funny, not you. That's a good point. I didn't even know there was a guy behind a computer.

That's where we can behind them. That's my fucking, that's the video producer in my bodyguard. Like, it's funny, like, for me, I've been doing comedy forever. I put two daughters through college, have a great life, and guess what it's funny, like, for me, I've been doing comedy forever. I put two daughters who college, have a great life, and guess what it's from, making people laugh. I know, I get you, I'm with you,

but I just, I don't, I hate when people start saying, what we do, what comics do, is shit, like club comics. There was a thing a few years ago, you're a club comic. Oh yes. Look it, so it's prior. Yeah, but I'm a comic, yes fuck because I play what I don't do Theaters. Yeah, we did. I've done a lot of readers. I've done it all I hosted Woodstock 99 stop with that 100,000 people All right, we have them in the palm of my hand not really. Yes, they go into clip on on you too. They thought you were James Taylor

They thought you'd a clip on on you too. They thought you were James Taylor Listen, I've seen five or not seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end Shut up Yeah, I don't know the name. I don't know the rest of the song weird part. I've seen fire and I seen rain I seen very weird sunny days that I thought would never end. I wish this day would end. I should have done a show. I'm thinking I'm going to bail out on my show tonight.

Where? Just seller. Oh, well it's right downstairs. I wouldn't do that end. I don't care. Okay, whatever. This is documented that you've had to bailed out. I'm going first and I'm tired.

I gotta get up tomorrow early playing golf. All right. Well, you know what? Good for tired. I gotta get up tomorrow early playing golf. All right. Well, uh, you know what good for her Hope whatever you know look she's on fire Netflix, you know, but that's a thing those I feel like I Don't give a fuck I'm happy for I don't even know her and if somebody I don't give a fuck about her Yeah, but it's like I don't get you don't for whatever I You know, I'm not gonna sit here and go and walk I would never watch a comics act and go in public go fuck them Yeah, they stink because what's good for you is good Well, I don't know if you you might go see Mike and be like oh, I think he's better than me doubtful

You know, I'm using it might. You know what I mean? He's better than you. I'm using it as a, you know, I mean it's the extreme, it's the extreme. What I'm saying, you know, a comedy's personal. I don't know what the fuck you like. There's plenty of people that's like, I was saying, go, you know what, action movies are horrible.

Only see dramas. Yeah. Amazing genre is things like that. And it's a thing too is too, it's Huff Post. You're kind of going to take it with a green of salt, you know where it's coming from. Well, and you know she has her following because people support their own.

Yeah. I mean, look, she's doing what she's got to do. So whatever, I'm sure for you a matter, at a festival, something you probably sit down, hang out. She probably be all right. Cool person to talk to. I don't think so. You don't think so?

No. Come on. I don't know. Gabby? What, that's a rena song festival? She looks like she's not fun, honestly. Really? Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of comics out there.

She looks a little pissed off. She looks like I don't want to be funny. I don't know. She looks like you, did you say black? The can't trans that kind of look to her. Yeah, I can't talk because I haven't seen one second of her special. I don't know what she does.

I watched five minutes. How was it? It was. Oh, shit. Was it looking for a platform? Gabby is as left as you can get. Oh my god. Gabby knows what I'm doing. I gotta finish it. But Gabby's pussy smells you can get oh my god, I gotta finish it

I gotta finish it, but the stabby's pussy smells like popery. It does it's why would you talk like that about her? Shut up. I just go with private part Mike just went Let me smell it Did she 17 you know what I brought it up? I just wanted to confirm what you were saying You literally throw me to the bus like that. When you What? I wouldn't tell you. 28. No, how old are you? 24? 24. Yeah. I mean, I'm a boyfriend because you It'll affect your career that you're working so hard to get ahead. Yeah, you know, so you can get the it so you can get the love and Attention that you didn't get as a kid and the hugs. Wow, he has a fucking FBI profile.

Oh my God. My God, he really fucking is. Dude, we just talked, didn't we talk about that? What? About your childhood? Yeah, the phone the other day. I think we might be. Yeah, wow.

You mean, look at me, Daddy, my- No, no, no, my dad looks at me. No, yeah. That's how to creepy. He's great guy. No, I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is. Parents, parents, look, I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is parents parents look

I love my daughters you know at but there were times That I couldn't be there for him because I had to go on the road or do whatever But I try to make it up as much as I possibly could because I I love my kids Oh, but in the sandwiches what's that? No, no, they just squeeze peanut butter in their mouth guys come around I brought home circle bread and bananas circle bread circle bread daddy brought home I always used to bring him souvenir dad brought him a half a fresco We just got a golf ball

Golf balls again Look at that Mike really tried to chime in with the golf ball and then I just realized he's not as funny as you I'm a big fan of Mike stop it Because he used to go to the stand and lurk around He's one of the best lurkersers on the planet planet. So, uh, yeah, you know, so parents, yeah, just don't understand. I'm just, you know, I, I do want it. I can't, he did it the fucking home beginning of the show. What would you do? What'd you say? I did forget it. What do you say? Pull your headphones on and you would fucking hear me. I'm right

next to you. No, you just don't want to take your stupid hat off. You don't want to do your hair anymore. I did it for the drawing. I got my hair cut short enough where I can go like this. Oh, spit. Jesus Christ. All right.

Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry. God, Jesus. It's a weird podcast. It's a weird podcast. We never have a podcast. And it's a weird guest. We never have guests. And it's a weird guest that should be in rehab. I'm not really rehab. Maybe a Rick Shaw.

That's right, you're both good guests, you're fine. You're fine. It's fine, it's a little weird. That's all, you guys are a little blind. This is, we're wrapping up right now. It's two hours. Stop singing. You guys are a little blind. This is, we're wrapping up right now. It's two hours. Stop singing. You're not a 13.

Two hours. I wish you saw fire in no rain. I wish you had burned sunny days. I don't know what I'm ever in. Are you coming to Bushcraft Party Boy? Yes, I am, brother. Are you going to come? I. Yes. All right. Cool. Rapsha Shana. I'm also going to show up. I got my Yes. All right, cool. Rosh Hashana.

I'm also gonna show up. I got my stuff ready to go, baby. We're staying overnight and we're gonna gather on food. You have a tent? Yes, I have a tent. We're not getting our own eyes. I'll just sleep under you. Whoa!

He's closing on that, folks. No, I have a tent. I have everything. But we're staying a couple days. We're not going for one day. Let's go camping for a couple days. No, I'm just worried about ticks. But when he gets cooler ticks. So, can't wear rings. Can we wear whatever the fuck I want? You can't wear those camping. You don't know who you're going to meet out in the woods and you want't wear those camping you don't know who you're gonna meet out in the woods You want airs? I'm gonna fucking catch what a bear's gonna go. Oh, I need a diamond ring We'll get that Jew over there. You know go swimming with those do you huh? You look like a fishing lore in the ocean

Fucking I'll never go swimming with you Now I was I first of all I don't go swimming. What do you do? What do you mean what do I do? Is he dying? Can someone check them? Oh, how oh what's pouring out of his mouth? What's what is that? Did he just throw up? What do you do? Did he throw up on the ground?

Is it in your hand? Oh? No, you need a throw. Did you not throw up in the ground? Is it in your hand? No. Do you need an napkin? Do you need an napkin? Give them a bib! Give them a napkin. Where'd you? There you go.

Oh, don't waste three of them. Why, why? I got a piss. I gotta go. Yeah, I gotta go. All right, listen. Wait, hold on. Yeah, we're gonna plug your dates right now.

Relax. Forget my dates, just relax. What, what, what? VosRoast.com, the best roast you'll see ever. How's it going? It's going great. I got you, you, Florentine and Deroza, clip from each of you on serious,

so you'll be getting extra money from Sound Exchange. They asked for three clips and I picked you, Deroza, and you're going to be. I heard that, and I did it. I remember it. I know that I was there. I know it was a funny, I know it was funny. I know we had a great time.

You were so funny. I've heard nothing but, I mean, holy shit. How good it was. About this roast. So good. Why did a network or show time not pick this up? I have no idea.

Did you try again? No, it's good. Someone's going to come to us after they see this, because we're going to do some more of these. So you can buy it for $10, and you can rent it for $5. Yeah, it's, fuck, a Vosrose.com. I'm telling you, this is the best roast you'll ever see. The bonus content? Wow. Do you have Patrice from the grave? Is that a bonus content? I'm telling you this is the best roast you'll ever see

Wow, do you have Patrice from the grave is that in the bonus count? It's Patrice from the grave. How funny was that my god? Bobby was so funny at this roast you made it feel like when you were gonna be go Why are you why are you talking to me? It was like watching like a Milton Borough on a roast with you like a Milton Borrel on a roast. You were so good on this roast. Not just your set, just sitting there laughing. Everybody was laughing, but let me tell you something. Any network that doesn't come to us, because we're gonna do two or three more, they're added or fucking minds.

Because we, Bonnie and I know what the fuck we're doing when it comes to content. We just know our movie was a hit. We're making a sequel. Everything we do is going to turn out to be some type of cult type of fucking thought. You know what I mean? This will go down to, women aren't funny. That movie will stand the test of time.

I'm just roast. Focus on the roast. I'm just saying. Just throw the movie back in. Well, because we're making a sequel. We're still on funny. I will make it and then we'll promote that Okay, I'm about the roast on the movie did okay the movie degree. I'm kidding Do you know this roast? I just so many people on thank fucking panton hospital

Watch it twice and said this is amazing tweeted it to twice and said, this is amazing. Tweeded it. Then the guy who, the director of the Florida Project, he tweeted it. You know, he doesn't have time to follow us, but this guy directed probably my favorite movie last year. Did you see the Florida Project? I did not. Amazing.

William DeFaul. Just so it was an amazing movie. I mean, I don't want to say, I was in it. I understand. I'm not saying it just because I've heard nothing. I know. Every fan, people on the road, everybody's been like, I don't want to say I was in it. I understand I'm not saying it just because I've heard nothing every every fan Sean Baker people on the road Everybody's been like this is in and I can I can I say why yeah, because you didn't get a bunch of stars that don't care about each other

Roasting somebody nobody gives a fuck about with a bunch of people Writing for those people you actually had a community who believe it or not give a fuck about you And we give a shit about all each other yeah, and we all came together and had a good time That's what that's what the roast is supposed to be about it You can feel and there was nobody that was to me, you know what I mean? It was so much and Bonnie was the funniest fucking person. I can't I can't tell you and florentine fucking murdered. Oh, it's just murdered. Yeah, everybody dope.

It just fell in the place. When she when he said Bonnie came to America and got her goal, stupid rich. No, she came to America to get stupid rich. Yeah, she came to America to get stupid rich was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. But when Bonnie, when Bonnie looked at Northernen and said your radio show was so bad. Yeah, I rather listen to my daughter drowning Those are one of those jokes where you have to go is that real You know, I mean like you have to in your head. Yeah, yeah I like my job. You know what I mean?

You have to, in your head, you're like, yeah, I guess you're fucking. Sam, are we boring? That was so fucking funny. Is that syrup on his head? No. You weren't there? No.

She was a part of us. I think it was before I worked here. Yeah. Oh, did you see it? Have you seen it? Yeah, I watched it twice. So funny. People are watching it two and three times.

He owns it. He's watching. He's said he's watching a bunch of times. It's better to buy it. What's that? No we have a fight look at above your head we have a computer screen that's plugged into the foot we're a professional studio we don't need your iPhone from the distance with no camera on it we literally have that plugged into the video feed thank you for your help though I appreciate it okay he's trying to bring up clips on a burner on a burner

it's not a burner oh jeez whatever that means I never ever again no more guests we're gonna be at next rich huh we're gonna be at next I'm gonna go downstairs to the seller no this this weekend this weekend I'll be at this weekend I'll be at Albany Funnybone and next weekend headlining Gotham Comedy Club the 67th. You going to Tacoma too huh? Yeah Tacoma's coming up. Wow. It's a great club.

I hear, I hear it's great. One of the best green rooms I've ever been into my life. I heard you saw a lot of merch up there. Yeah, but you know why? Because they give away two free tickets with everything, which I don't like free tickets. I don't like free. Yeah. Yeah. Make people make and pay five bucks, make it worth money. You give people free shit. They come in, fuck this. It's free. You make and pay five bucks. They kind of

I'm paid something at least, you know what I mean? Well, anyhow, I got a bunch. I'm almost booked up to, I got like a come one, Jay's, I'm booked up at least you know what I mean well, what ever anyhow? I got a bunch my I'm almost booked up to I got like a come one chase I'm booked up for the year I'm working on 2019 go to make you go make sure you go rich boss calm by the roast go see rich live one of I'm telling you I've done a ton of shows in the last couple years. He fucking murders. I don't I don't like following them I mean I don't i don't i'll follow anybody but fucking rich goes up the crowd work the jokes the fire he you know it's far he's a killer so he's one of the killers he's funny the whole time

which is up which is uh... so go there check it out gaby what do you got uh... i have a new podcast with katey hannigan called a pod colips you can check that out yeah katees the best. And then Yeah, just go to my website or follow me on Instagram. I could be Gabby is Brian and you're gonna be doing a show with me soon, right at the pussy. Yeah, July 11th. Yeah, so come down to that if you're love Gabby on the show come down and support her that night, would you? What do you got, Mike? Am I doing that show also?

I guess. We just said that. Well, that has to be... Usually, my doll dream is doing stuff. Yeah, of course you guys can do that. I was looking up. Am I fired? Is that how I find out?

No, not at all. I'm not. I'll be featuring at the improv. Oh, sorry, he's right behind you. Yeah, no, that was kind of weird. So I felt his presence. Okay. He's too gas if he's looking up. at the improv is you get right behind the end of kind of weird I'm gonna film his presence okay he's too gas if he's looking up watered on the back of my neck now oh don't worry about it so you find you find you find

there's no way but anyway yeah I'm gonna be featuring for Jared Freed at the improv in San Antonio the first week of August I'll be headlining that week okay the last week of August at that same club. Jay Train you guys you don't know Jared Frey Jay Train very funny dude and I'm a big fan of him so what's up? I'm gonna do that show at Fat Black with y'all and I just found out I'll be a part of Skankfest this year as well. What are you doing at Skankfest? performing. That's great are you in Skankfest? No. Oh I'm in competition. Oh. Oh. That's the fuck. They want us to do a live YKWD.

I don't think I want to do it. No? No. We did a live my way through. We did a live one last year. It was on Sunday. You burned his hat. When we burnt his hat.

It's supposed to be a bigger venue this time though. No. It's that Brooklyn Bazaar. It's crazy. We bought last year. We bought bought we bought Rich's hat. We took we passed the hat around raised a hundred and seven dollars because you want to tax and we paid for his hat and then we lit it on fire. I think it'd be fun. I don't know. We'll see what happens. Don't ruin pancakes on day. No, yeah. I'm on the road a lot. I gotta go to Montreal. It's a lot. Yeah, I'll see what happens. But anyways, what do I got?

You're gonna be at Cap City that's coming a week. Yeah, I'm playing this club. I never played it. I heard it's fucking great. I've been there one time. I'll give you my review. I tell you, last week's laughing skull was fucking awesome. Yeah, it looked awesome.

I just like when the owner and the people, they all the comics, and this is gonna sound corny, but they're fucking nice. They're into comedy, they love stand-up comedy. They're not, it's not a fucking, it's just, the owner's there. He, give me his philosophy, Marshall. We're talking about comedy.

He was like, hey, I'm gonna do a guest body. Went up, did a guest body. It was fucking great. The comics are real, funny. Here's your favorite. When you're on the road, when a guy like Bobby or me, or whatever's on the road, if the new comics don't come in and watch, they're added or mines.

Because what they will learn from watching somebody like you or me or come, when I start a comedy, that's all I do is try to watch and learn. But you go on the road to some clubs, but those guys in Atlanta are really into comedy. They're great. Yeah. Fucking great. They're really into the green room and stuff.

Yeah. Great comedy circle community there. So, hopefully this, I heard the same thing about this one, so we'll see what happens. I'll give you my full review. No, I did cap city years ago. It's a great club. I do. I like the city a lot.

So I'll be there. I'm fucking everywhere. I'm nasty show hosting it. Two weeks in July, I'm doing a bunch of other shows up there while I'm there. I'm doing a live YKWD from up there. I got a creeps with kids coming on the 14th that I'm booking now, Ron Bennington,

and hopefully Gail gal if she can Will be toasting that and I'll be on it. Are you did you do it? Are you doing it? I give it a long time ago I'll do it again if you need me. I will see what happens Last boss I have three kids so go to go to my You have a two of them are already right the ones day in the black eye what? So why would you say that about my kids? What do you say? Those are pretty hot. Who the fuck, you know, what kind of? I'm sorry.

Dude. It's just fucking people. These own a fucking fans think they can say whatever the fuck they want. Because we say that to each other. We talk to each other and they think they're us. It's fucking anger. They think that they're you and Norton and Patrice. I would never say that to a stranger about their kids,

whatever. It's just, oh, it's a fan bay. It's something that we created though. We created, no, we created between ourselves. I know, but when you put that out there, when you put it out there, they assimilate to what we do so it's I understand it but you have to take it with a grain of salt and just move on

okay it's over it's over but you know what I mean I understand what you're saying but you have that non-stop in a daily whatever I don't want to be negative he said he's sorry no problem problem. Move on. I mean, don't you ruin my plugs. Don't you remember where I am now? Yes, you're a cab city or a Montreal. Go to patreon.com. Just buy that. If you're a fan of this show and you're on the Lipson thing, which there are people still on Lipson, drop it, end it, sign out, get out, go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and sign up there support me over there Do they take down the wall on our thing lips and I don't know you probably still have it up

Then you still getting a check from it, but I don't go cancel it go somewhere else It's on his great go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly right now and join up over there if you like the show If you like what I do if you like my stand up We're going to be adding stand up clips soon too from the pussycat. Oh, nice. So, Bobby, let me tell you something. What? Is he alright? See, you can see alright, and let's see, what's he doing? What's he doing? He's probably taking a shower. Can you go check on your friend, make sure you're alright?

I gotta go. Thank you for having me. Hang on. Are you about to say something great about me? You have two hundred and ninety four patrons already what you have three hundred patrons. Yeah, right there's a patron people that belong to oh patreon You have three hundred holy fuck Okay, all right, so I'm gonna wrap this up Robert doing enough Robert Kelly live calm go there We're doing enough. We're doing good. No great shot. I'm saying Zach. What do you got? The new guys next time you know what dude a weird weird late night episode

Ha ha ha!