Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Wapadoo To Wee Way

Episode Date: June 24, 2013

Robert talks fatherhood with Oni Perez, Erik Rivera, Luis J Gomez and Kelly Fastuca.   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlos sin pagar nunca. You have all your devices. Plus, TV, come see them without paying. Lewis J Gomez, Kelly Fistuka, the YKWD crew, or at least some of us. I'm going to be heading down to Fox Woods, Casino, June 27th, 28th, and 29th. That's one show, one show, and Saturday, two shows. Late show is a nasty show. We're going to have a couple special guests on there. So make sure you get

your tickets now. Go to my website robbercellylive.com. That's a Puerto Rican driving by my house. If you were wondering, it's not my music. I don't know why I gotta listen to music that fucking loud in your car at 3 in the afternoon. Jesus Christ. Hot poppy, and that's why they can't hear. Huh, what'd you say? Anyways, I just made that up. Put her computer in here for fucking racist. So anyways, go to robbercowleylive.com for tickets. And then don't forget, I am going to be killing it up in just for laughs. I'm bringing the podcast up to just for laughs. If you're in Canada, if you're going to Montreal, just for laughs comedy festival, you better get your tickets right now to all my shows.

Spread the word. Whoever the fuck's up there, fan wise, I want you to spread the word. I want you to get people out there, spread it on Twitter, share it, tweet it, Facebook it, Vine it, Instagram it. Buy my tickets now, I'm doing two hour shows. I'm doing the nasty show all week. I'm also doing the podcast up there. So buy the tickets to my hour show, cry like a man up in Montreal. And then buy the tickets to the YKWD show. Okay. I'm going to call and quit on big J. It's going to be an awesome show. I'm gonna have Colin Quinn on big J. It's gonna be an awesome show. I'm gonna have Nick Turner on the on the podcast So go to just for last website and buy your tickets today If you live in America and you live up by Canada Montreal get over there

It's very short trip get your tickets go up there. It's gonna blast. It's one of my favorite things in the world to do is the just for laughs comedy festival. So, and I just, I just signed on to do Toronto. I'm excited about that too. So make sure you get your tickets just for laughs.com and comics Foxwoods. And now I'm fucking just rambling until I find my way back to garage band you cock suckers robbercadalive.com for all my dates and info make sure you go there tweet it spread it made me famous I'm kidding just fucking buy some tickets spread the word And then the bomb tickets Facebook Alright check it out we're here we're here I'm here fucking idiot

What am I really doing? So this show was I guess a dad show. I had a bunch of guys on Friends of Mine. Oani, Perez, Louis J, Eric Rivera, myself, Kelly Fistuka. And we talked about fatherhood. Having a baby, everything that happened. You know, it's been fucking crazy, man.

I haven't slept that much. My chick hasn't slept. The baby sleeps. Baby fucking sleeps. Baby shit sleeps, drinks, fucking pisses. On my arm. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's been a crazy two weeks, but I wanted to have a bunch of guys on that have been through this already recently or years ago. And I don't know, kind of talk about it. Error it out. There's

so much more to talk about too. There's so many levels to this fatherhood and having a baby and creating a life and watching it grow and having it come out. And it's like you become a member of this club. It's like being in the military and you know fighting a war you know and you and your wife are you know like a division or a group a branch like a like a troop you're out there battling and then you come in for

provisions and other people yeah how you doing we're doing good we haven't slept shit in all the time yeah they shit That's what they do. You gotta do this. You gotta do that. Holy fuck, and there's generals and lieutenants and all kinds of people telling you what to do. And what way to go and breastfeed, don't breastfeed. And have breastfeed and not breastfeed. And use a pump. Don't use a pump. Use a half a pump. Squeeze the tit, don't squeeze the tit. Warm the tit. Suck on the tit, pinch the tit.

Crazy. It's fucking nuts, but once you have that child, once that child comes out, there's no looking back. There's no turning around. And, you know, there you go. So. So this podcast, this show, this episode,

that we're about to do, is, I don't know, my first episode back. Wapadu to Wu Weway. Wapadu to Wu Wewei. Wapadu to Wu Wewei is the episode name Wapadu to Wu Wewei. And I forget what the fuck. I don't know why we called it that. But enjoy this one. All you fathers out there, and all you dudes are thinking about having a pregnant chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken Fucking chicks wearing rubbers jerking off Enjoy it enjoy it love it Cherish it every load every fucking load that you kill

Love it enjoy it So there you go You know what did hey, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's.

You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? If he be by a, if he be be boo, dippy dippy daya, yabba dhyba doo. DEEED! This is Robert Coney's You Know What Doo? You Know What Doo? You got me?

Come on. One, one, two, motherfucker. I can tell you it's going to be out of the fucking house I like to sit in the chair it makes them taller exactly We got row the intern Who is here? Taking video, right? Yeah, thank you, Row. I just wanted to...

I love that she's stepping on Kelly's toes today. Sorry, I don't need to. Yeah, well, it's too late, Row. Too fucking late. You already've done it. You've goddamn done it. What'd you say, Cunt? I did a pretty good show.

All right, Wi-Fi is on. Right. Bump bump. It's good to be here, man. And where is fucking Lewis? Oh, my early? No, you said five or five. It's just six minutes ago.

You just six minutes ago. Five minutes away. Kelly texted us and said, 445 downstairs. Yeah. Right, right, right. Well, I was filming, what was I filming? Something special. Yeah, filming something special, special. Because the selfie's gone, bro.

What are you doing with the fucking phone? What's a selfie? Stuck face. What's a selfie? It's a picture of yourself. Well, fuck, I didn't tell you you could take photos of me. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not a kid of self.

Self, you. Oh, I'm a research teacher. I'm a research teacher. You're a 13 year old little girl's call a tag in selfie. Oh my God, you do a 13 year old little girl so good. And I am. That's good, right? Yeah, yeah, fucking sweet bitch.

What are you laughing at, bro? You can't laugh. You're either fucking working on the show. I'm kidding. Alright, so listen, do we shut the AC off can we shut the uh can we shut that off and make it quieter please it's not that hot out so we're back we're back we're back back in a new York groove oh we're back in the... I don't know, that's the song. Thank you, Ro.

That was a song. I want to call you Ho, but you're too young. Can you... Can you shut that off, Kelly? Alright, so we're here, nice and quiet, now we can leave that one on. That one's awesome. What one? That little guy right there?

What the fan? Is it hitting you? Yeah, pretty good. Good for you. You feel like you're back in Miami? Yeah, pretty good. Good for you. Um, I feel like you're back in Miami. Yeah, it's, uh, palm tree. So, uh, we got, uh, Tony.

What's up, everybody? Fucking rhymes with baloney. And he sure eats a lot of it. Dude, did you get fat in the last time? Uh, probably. I was on, uh, I went on the road for, you know, Florida. What road was it made of candy and fucking bacon?

The handsome girl's there. Uh, uh, uh, uh, anytime it made of candy and fucking bacon? The Hanseman got it all there. Yeah. Anytime I go back home, man, I just say, I eat way too much. Fucking Alaska, man. That fucking well-blubber will. Yeah, this is seal season, so. Yeah, you should have one of those tattoos coming up

from your chin into your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Like those, yeah, the. That's cool blood trail. Yeah, they're a laskin' tattoo. They, on all their women. I own you woman It's like a nice fucking the salmon run is coming. It's coming. You just bit a heart

Yeah, you're very a lasking. I've told you that before you have silky Indian here. You should be on longmire as a villain What's longmire? Yeah, whatever No, it's a hit show. What's a hit show? Do you have television? Which show is it? No, I don't have cable hits have you don't know what long myers? What show what's your favorite show on TV right now? No fucking 10 years Show is happening right now. I want to know right now elementary elementary is a great show great show All right, I'm gonna give you a hang on fuck foot And I'm gonna be making up all kinds of names today by the way. Yeah, that Alright, I'm gonna give you, yeah, but hang on, fuck foot. And I'm

gonna be making up all kinds of names today, by the way. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, fucking skinny chin fat tit. That's your Indian name, skinny skinny chin fat tit. He's me as a male. Yeah, you know, it's fat Kelly as a bully. Oh, wow, where's the bandana by the way? There's one right here. Yeah, tie that around Kelly's neck until she fucking passes out The Ties well terrible for my tits when you said that rope with the camera down All right, so we have our owny Perez you're actually a Spanish you're not a laskin or into it or injuit or whatever

Not the original fucking central America. Oh, you got something Cuban because so there was a lot of Indians in Cuba Listen man somebody fuck somebody near a pole Yeah Some totem pole situation. Yeah, you're definitely not Cuban. Is that are you are a Cuban woman? Yeah, probably the second one. Yeah, are you videoing this other? You motherfucker. There's Indians in Cuba. There was what there was Indians in This Indians everywhere motherfucker stop saying shit like you're saying shit like you just discovered it like you're Really no shit? They were all Indians everybody was an Indian over here Central America North America

So I got some we sold them some fucking dirty blankets poison their water with hemlock And then blamed it all on them. Yeah, we blended on their fucking Stupidity. Yeah, we've blamed it on their fucking stupidity. Yeah, America. Woo. Oh, come on. Yeah, you got something in you. Yeah.

You got whale killer in you. I wish, man. I don't think I'm manly enough for this. You know, I'm not saying you would definitely gather berries. You said in you, we didn't say you were one. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, when I was saying you're out there hunting the grizzly,

you were out there fucking gathering berries and making twigs for the fire. Yeah, you were making baskets. Yeah, I saw myself more as a unique in those days. Yeah, yeah, you're that guy. Yeah. That unique in game with thrones, huh? Yeah.

You, uh, I bet you're the, you're the, you're the, you're the, you're the, you're remind me of the Alaskan Kings fat daughter that nobody wanted to marry. The one you have to give away. That one hurt, didn't it? I told, I can tell by that laugh. That was like a, a cry laugh. Jesus, I'm sorry. I take it back.

You're a good looking guy. You are. Every time you say I say, I see a reflection of myself. You're a sweet looking at look. you're every time you say I say I see reflection of myself You're a sweet looking at look I'm fat too brother. Yeah, we're gonna lose the weight We'll lose it will be a man to cut up to me. Yeah, stop smoking last year. Hey good for you. He too. I gave me 20 something Him oh who's fatter me on him? I don't know if I can answer this question. Just say it corporate I'm gonna go Bob you're saying I'm fatter. I don't know. Well, I think he's taller. Just say it. Corporate. I'm gonna go Bob.

You're saying I'm fatter. I don't know. Well, I think he's taller. That's what it is. You're just short. I don't know, man. He's got more fat. Lewis is here.

Let's move on. Let me get more bulk. Really? Yeah. Fuck you. Bulk. What do you want to bulk? It's like bulk.

I'm talking fat. You come out forward. He goes outside woods. I come on. What does that mean? You come at your fat comes out straight out and he's going outside with that's cancer No more hippie, you know, you're You're the child bearing hips. I have child bearing hips. This is good for the frozen tundra minds of you Yeah, you store fat on your hips to survive the winter Yeah, girl grow lady hunts

Lady hunts my lady sure you're not a lesbian You would be the best looking lesbian in fucking like Seattle You look you remind me of a Seattle lesbian that just dying to get the loan to open a room coffee shop If I tied mine just got a little grunge band. Yeah Yeah, you have a band and you have an adoption agency for cats open a room coffee shop if I tied my just got a lunch band yeah yeah on the side yeah you have a band and you have an adoption agency for cats and you work with menthol or retarded people on weekends it's a great life man I would love that I live in Seattle sipping some nice coffee there he is

yeah la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la of the doughnut stepping into the ring of donuts now he's looking at fucking fat he got now he's fed a any all the uh... i think i'm fed on luis get back and shit my yeah getting you're not there but luis is the same as me when he gets fat he gets hippie we get we we build it on the side of the house but is what is mine go out for it sure uh... what structure differently we have a tino ass. Yeah, what do I got?

You have white guy fucking fat cut White guy fat cut talking to the microphone you fat fucking poor area is a beer drinking jeans what? I'm here. I'm ready to rock baby come on Sup Don't fucking no, that's a little bit too much for me and that's me saying that Whoa, don't fucking, that's a little bit too much for me and that's me saying that Say me again, I'm gonna hit you with one of these mic stents Mimi me and what do you fuck it opera singer? Mimi me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me I can't wait to get taken up by a cab on your roll of legs. You're fucking have to go to LA and panhandle. We don't have to.

You're gonna dress up as an action figure. That's not a month's tiny. Yeah, you can take out these hips. I know you really would put a dent in a handicap truck. We got... Like a deal. What are you doing? I'm just checking. I'm just checking. Um, we got like a dear. We have what are you doing?

Look, I'll just check in. I'm just checking. I'm fucking dad-based in your voice now. Dad-based. Maximus. Shut the fuck up. Well, we got Eric Rivera. It was a good friend of mine, old friend of mine, moved to LA, and LA told him to go home. Yeah, that was. Yeah, you hear that? Really last dude in the week. Broke ass dudes in here. Homeless dude in the month. I was really big about it. There's no way it could possibly get worse. Yes, it could.

It's impossible. You're about to. You have been out homeless in the desert I've been homeless before let me tell you something if if I did I guarantee you this if this happens if you if things go bad Send her back. I'll take your wife and kiddin. Well, you just them not you you can't visit you because you fucked them You're out you're out of their lives for six months. Can you just take them now and go by myself? Skip that whole middle step. All right, hang on.

Lewis, we're getting into this. Lewis, Jay Gomez with his fucking stupid American Spanish shirt. I don't think there's quite got this from Sky Graphics. This guy, it's in the Palisades mall. It was at Levity Live last night. He's a fan of the show. He gave me shirts too. I have a shirt that says,

Cunt. That's awesome. Oh, really? Yeah, he fucking... You guys have a shirt that says cunt That's awesome. Oh really? Yeah, he fucking you guys have a shirt. This is gone. Yeah, I know I just told you that stupid I love that you fucking smash. She's like showing off Walk by and he was like in a game. I bought this he didn't give it to me I bought it. You know who you were no it was his buddy was like running the stand up It was gonna because I thought it was cool. It's like a unique should have said you're on the podcast. They listen All right, well, I should have said it real us dude of the week Yeah, I got I got a couple shirts. They're great shirts

I like the show. I don't like how big the logo is on the sleeve though. Why because every shirt looks like if you if you Somebody takes from your tattoos pictures That's the way the cops identify them That's the way the cops identify them. Ericson fire, Ericson fire, people spit cram. What are you grabbing a fucking joke hopefully? Oh my God. Oh, I'm gonna run kegs up on Lewis.

Oh, she's attacking you, Lewis. No, no. Kelly. I may love you. We're going to fuck your fuck. Let me have a Coke zero. God damn it. I want to splurge Use your fat thumbs to open that fridge be right to your right And fuck it. Can you pass that down? So anyways We got we got Kelly for stucco

Hey, mate. What are you doing? You think it doesn't that doesn't work. I saw it on myth busters It doesn't work. I'm believing if you shake a can and then you tap on the top of it It doesn't unfuck it actually shakes it up more dumb dumb. I don't trust Lewis that he would have put a little shake in there So you're such a jerking things off my hand does that automatically Thank you. Yeah, my hand.. My hand, what the fuck? What are you, my wife? My wife does that shit. I'll be like, honey, you want a drink?

Yeah, let me get some iced tea. She'll walk over and hold it over me. Because for some how, she can't put it down on the table. I put that down on the table. Shut up. She can't. She goes, just take it. I go, no.

Go the extra six inches ass hole. You asked me if I wanted a drink. I would have got my own drink. I didn't fucking, you asked me. I said, yeah, and have got my own drink I didn't fucking you asked me I said yeah and then you walk over here and I got to pick up my arm because you have respect issues drop it on the fucking table how's the baby pretty good I'm just trying to are you recording everything what what

will you please help her? Yeah. I know. Yeah. She's attracted to soda, by the way. I'm trying to. We have to talk about this way. You think?

She's attracted to soda. Who is an attracted, I'm attracted to soda. I don't know where she got these fucking... Gorgeous man. Where did you get these European Dutch shorts that you were wearing? In London. Yeah, the European, right? Yeah.

I can tell the highs. It covers the belly button. It's around I can tell the highs covers the belly button. It's around 17 inches from the snatch to the belly button. They used to be dress pants that they cut them off because of the fucking wall. They needed the dungery for the soldiers. So yeah, anyways, she likes soda, everybody likes soda. Actually, the drawing that the guy did for the poster It was such a good-looking soda. I go I go no I go you made him look like a fucking super model

We all look like assholes. I'm screaming Kelly looks like she just sucked a small penis Fucking Lewis look very accurate you Lewis looks like a fucking Puerto Rican gang member with a Lewis looks like a fucking Puerto Rican gang member with a satin-eye fever suit on wow did that out where's that hard to come out where's this poster it's not him getting it done Yeah, they're gonna roll you will see it you will trust me guys. I'll let you look at it Fuck off you little 12-year-olds. They all want to see what they look like That's who is is it you do tell you do tell you fucking pop it up. Not on it, I don't care.

You're not on it, because you don't come here enough, because you're a, you're a dad. Okay. Ugh. Actually, I take that back, you're not on it, because you have no wit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ah, all right. So here's the deal. The reason why we're here today the reason why I picked this crew Love people nobody else was available Yes

I sit by my phone every day waiting. Do you really? Every every Monday. Are you really? I'd I'd love to have you on if you meant that I'd bring you on more Oh, dude absolutely loves the she's a huge fan of the show. Are you really? From the beginning. But only his phone is like the phone from the Flintstones. It's just a giant bone. The fuck. He picks it up all the time. I got it. I got it.

We got it. We got it. We got it. Oh God. I wish you're under fucking Fred's truck right now with a rib on top of your fat self. I, I, I, who just ate right three. I, I, I, I, I, well the reason why I brought you guys all here today, and bro, you can sit down if you want. Who just ate right three?

Well the reason why I brought you guys all here today and bro you can sit down if you want On my lap right here I you stole the joke he right here. I rose mug my little sister by the way I don't want any of you guys fucking winner was she's a little sister that we all want to see in the shower Yeah, that one I fucking took in a couple of peaks at. Steps to somewhere it's okay. The one where I fucking drill the hole in the closet wall. Made the soap the shape of a penis with my own ass hole. Wow. Hey, hey, you're doing well. What are you hot? Is it hot? Should we turn the AC on? Turn the AC on?

Turn the AC on low Turn it on low, please. That's only he looks like an AC repair man. Hey turn the fucking ace now, Ro Just do it one One please one to the right top stupid is gonna break the Right there sit down That was just push the mic That makes me so happy, is it on? Is it blowing? Yeah, blowing.

Okay, so the reason why, oh come on, just spit it out, Bobby. I'm exhausted. Everybody knows I just had my baby. It's been a week and a day. He still looks pretty good. Not me. No, Louis, what is Zing? Oh my God, I hope it's what a zing.

Oh my god. I hope you're fucking hat falls off in front of a train, and then you try to save it, and the train hits you. I was too worried, but it made sense. Yeah, I've been out in a while. Shut the fuck up. You're doing voices. You're worried, shit.

You're gonna talk to an adult. You know, we gonna die. We do boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo my kid shit like this is this is called the shit real let this is when you go back you like our who's changing the w you're and you get the pay like yes and then you get the me then you get a little tiny poop you like okay that's not the poop that's coming and then last night I I'm on the phone

my wife is cracking up Because the kids shit you could see it on the rim of the diaper And then as she's changing he's shit more It's like volcano like what's your volcano? You're making the fourth grade or just you can just say volcano We got the rest of it No, but we get volcano. No, it's the same thing. You're an island of Hawaii.

No, Louis, you would say, you would say, you would say, science, fave, volcano. F***ing it. Oh no, you just say volcano, we get it. No, we're not gonna give me an olive. How are we gonna have a word joke? I'm gonna, I'm gonna say, yeah, volcano. Barely can.

He's a way but a looking Spanish person. He's very good. This is the evolution of a Spanish guy in here. But we haven't said it, but the fans know. We're definitely talking about Eric. Not only. Yeah, well, come on guys. Oh, and he's the original hunter gatherer.

He's the gatherer part. Eric's the organizer. If we're all in a tribe, you would be the hunter. You'd be the, you'd be the, come back with just a head, some meat on your back. Ornie would be doing laundry by the river with the women. A basket on his head. And Eric would be trying to organize a function. We need to get together.

The meat should go here, and then the rice should go here, and the beans, we're mixing everything up. Me, Oane and Eric would like the evolution of the Hispanic man. Yeah, I already said that around five. I mean, I literally said it five seconds ago. That's what you were talking about. Yeah, turning your headphones up in your dumb head.

Do me a favor, shut your eyes during the show. You're gonna burn your head. I, so yeah, I had my baby. Here's what happened. Let me go through a little bit. Did you have the new diaper under already? Oh yeah, she had the new diaper under, so had my baby. Here's what happened. Let me let me go through a little bit. She had the new diaper under already Oh, yeah, she had the new diaper under so that got ruined and then and then it kept going and she was so much shit Come on out of this kid. She was Hustically laughing like B. I'm upstairs on the phone

She's like be the shit won't stop. They won't send. I'm fucking dying It just it came off for like three minutes, just goo. And here's, we were waiting for the poo, like two days without a shit, because she's breastfeeding, so we were getting a little nervous. And then it finally came out, I mean, it came out. And he's just sitting there with his little,

and I mean, the clean is asshole. Because if he's gay, I want that asshole to be nice and tight and clean for that first guy. I don't want a dirty rubbed out asshole because we didn't fucking wipe him right as a kid. I want a nice pink one. I want the first guy if he's a queer to go, what an asshole. They're beautiful asshole. Your parents must have really cared about your asshole.

Yeah, man, you must. Parents are gonna be you. They moisturize it. Around the rim? Yeah, well, we're gonna get into all this. This is basically what happened. And you've had a kid. You have two kids the rim. Yeah, well we're gonna get into all this this basically what happened And you've had a kid you have two kids you have three or two two of them Wow, and you're one of them's a lesbian. Yeah, one of them's a lesbian 16 and

Bobby just spit out his ass He was so mature about it, he was one of them for lesbian. And then Audi said, yeah, one of them's a lesbian and Bobby lost his shit. I literally shit for like a 13-year-old boy. Yeah. I'll tell you what maybe left. He's stupid fucking

Oprah audience fucking a free sponsor. Yes, one of them And we support her every day Quite political Running for office, yes Let's be in there, part of the lesbian community Shit, I spit over my lamp Jesus, God, I can't feel my quarter-ois

Why, I should light them on fire You know the inner fire is about to fucking ignite. Yeah, this thing is, yeah. It's a lot of heat in here. Yeah, if you get offered to 50, at 7th Street, 8th. Wow, too early. Back down up my joke, because it wasn't gonna work.

So my kid's got a job and a driver's restricted license and a girlfriend. And a girlfriend. How old is she? She's going to be 17 November, so 60. When did she come with you with that? When she was, when she was 12, we found the note that she had written to one of her counselors. I was like 18. Oh my god. And it started out you pussy. Tis like fucking caramel sauce. The last time you let me eat your asshole.

The last time I made, I would, I would all the cock in woodshop What what was what are the notes say it was dirty, right and I shave your crotch now It was like you know, I I love you and it was almost like she was looking up to her in a sense Which was you smaller. Yeah, she was on her knees Clicking up to the sense between between her legs, but yeah now what did you do when you found the note? Did you go hey hey pussy look a come in here? Which by wait can I say some if it was an 18 year old dude Lewis? Yes, you can it's called a podcast Can I say something You're over me today. I am combative with you today. You know why why?

I'm gonna push his mic away just so I could pull it back Go ahead what because it was a chick that you wrote that note to where you're almost like you didn't really care that much Like if it was a dude my daughter was like my 12 year old daughter was writing like a note saying she was in love with some 19 year old dude that'd be a much bigger deal But because it was a check, you were like, I hope I can see some pictures of them. I guess an accessible dude would be, because they write a note to like fucking Bieber,

who gives a shit, you know. So, you found a note to an older woman. Why, we didn't find, we, my ex-wife works at the school where this girl works at as a counselor, my daughter was like 12. Did they fool around? No, no, no, no, no.

Okay, she just loved her. I just loved her and then gave her the note, and then my ex-wife found it. No figures. that as a counselor, my daughter was like 12. Did they fool around? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, starts writing notes and then collection of all god you're in trouble you're in trouble but into report this is the first thing that yeah so she reported it smart on her and then a her pussy and then and well she wrote the note under pussy then gave it to them and i have the video it's on clitty dot com uh... it's called teach a teacher and then uh... then my ex-wife uh... ask me she said would you would you be

upset if Sarah was gay and I said actually kind of Kind of saw it coming she had a lot of why did you see she shops at hot topics is Yeah, she loves bowling She's a shaped head. Yeah, folks from tonight. She knows how to feel dress a deer She walks around with a buckknife on her hip. Love's modern family. She loves stilto boots. She's got Omi's haircut. She always smells like hay.

She does have the haircut. She looks like you. Not anymore. She's like that. I learned it from watching you. Yeah, you're probably right at that point. I that you never had your face made your daughter a lesbian No, I think it was the high level of testosterone No, yeah, she's a dude. Yeah, well here's a deal is she a she

Topper a bottom is she like a lady. She's the dude. She's the dude. Oh shit really. Yeah, that's cool Yeah, I took her on date like we had to pick up the girl. Yeah, like she went to the door brought the girl to the car open the door for And shit really she's not only a dude a gentleman at that You you raise the fine young last That's fuck is there is a really fucked up daughter, but here is a great boy She's a hell of a dude man That's great and your other dude your other daughter have a dude. She's a she's 14 and she's like a tall Like a she's tall and the other one looks older. She took her mothers. Yeah, it takes her mother my skinny face

But her mom's your face is not skinny well it was yeah and she said it's still skinny but with a lot of like hangy skin and fat around it and she's straight or she she straight yeah yeah she's adamant about that and and all right well your your kids are a little older but here you know your kid your kid Lewis how would you kid now I hope you six months on the 29th How old you kid now Eric eight months? Shit you guys are experiencing my kids week in a day I win Here's a deal I was 18 when that happened here's a deal

What are we in a contest? Yeah, but you also is king We still got a shot. No, I'm kidding. Oh, boys, oh, boys, you got it. Oh, boys, yeah. I love it. I told my, I love it if Lewis's kid was gay and found

love with my son, but my son just fucking just let him suck his dick. And look at his ass hole. Yeah, just fucking. Maximus was like, come here, suck my dick. Just at his ass hole. Yeah, just fuck it. Maximus was like, can me suck my dick. Yeah, just made it. Okay. Yeah, just like openly gay is like this star quarter back.

He gets to live the life of a straight dude with everything. Yeah, but he still has my kid suck his dick. Yeah, I'm the devil. Yeah, your kids got to go back and be like, I am a fish king. But there's a, okay, listen Max. Don't tell my dad. Max, I just listen Max.

I just suck Derrick Rivera's cock, his son's cock. And what's your son's name? Julia. You say, uh-uh? What? Your kid's gonna be gay. No, you out of your mind.

You out of your mind, I got fucking Guatemala. I gotta see him, but he's already flirting with girls. Is he? Women girls. No, he's. We go to the little classes. Shut the fight doesn't flirt. He's swear to God

What's flirt what's weird like he's like usually vocal shit? And then once like there's a pretty girl right like he gets like like you fucking pretends He's like shy and like looks at them and smiles at them like he's connecting with them on a female level He's trying to find out what mess garish. He's wearing I find it what mess garish is wearing. I like it. Papi, papi, I like it. Is it a little twink too? Just a little tiny fucking. Papi, I like mommy's lips.

See? Papi, I want to change my name to Lisa. If my kids get, I wouldn't give a shh. Yeah. You wouldn't care at all not at all If my if my kid I would just I would just want my kid to tell me I want him to feel comfortable enough to go dad I think I like dudes What about you one bit you picked this strong not at all

Max no what are you there to Maxine what if I I'm one naked that you can tell he's good like you Yeah, you didn't have to tell you by any if you were yeah, if he had the accent everything I would not what would you Would you care? I'm just a level that um, no he's gonna have a harder life. No, he's not gonna have a heart not in today's society Not with me. I hang on. Let me finish now with me and my wife is his dad and not into today's society and not with what I do and the people I'm I'm friends with anyways, right? Yeah with my uncle fucking Sean in his Irish Catholic dudes who drink beer and watch Patriots games in Boston Maybe but with me. No, nobody's gonna give you my family wouldn't give a shitty either nobody cares It's oh they did the the hatred of gays and this I know that there's been a rash of

Gay attacks in New York lately, but look man. It's over gay guys are fine. They're on TV You know, yeah, that's only in New York in LA modern family as two gay guys that adopted an Asian baby And it's the hit show of the world and that's middle ofamerican book. It's not it's not the east one. Really? No, I'm good. I would not give a fuck. I don't care what my kid is. Look, I don't give a shit. I was a piece of shit and not see straight up like hates blacks and Jews like. Oh, he's gonna be that anyways. We're hoping for that. I'm just hoping. I'm just hoping. It's a Boston part, right? Yeah, I'm hoping for the Boston part. Yeah, I'm hoping. No, but why would you care if your kid was getting,

I mean, your kid is gay. But you know it's funny. I was gonna care because he doesn't have to clear that web history, just try any porn. Leave it on. No, I like what you were going with. And then I, I know. Here's the thing, no, not the band-in,

that's not a bomb. Here's what happened with that joke. Is he fucked up, he got excited because he had a good one. Oh, I didn't get excited. Now you did, I seen your eyebrows go up, you fucked, Clark Saga. Yeah, and a little vein in your forehead pops out

where you think you had a good one. And you said, you just went on a little too long. Oh, yeah, I've got worried. Yeah, you said, and then you said, Tranny, gay guys don't like Tranny's. Men like Tranny's. Realannies real real man real ass dudes Love trannies, all right, I'll fucking suck a tranny in front of my son to teach him what a man does You pop that cocks

You show who's boss get that nut in your mouth You show her who's boss get that nut in your mouth It's I always thought if I had a boy. I don't know how I'd react to it. Why it's why is it different? Because the the fact that my family it would would react to it and I'd have to deal with that What do they eat boys? What were the folks? No, it's Hispanic man Cubans. Yeah, they'd be a little more With a girl. It's kind of like they'll ignore it forever hang on I got a flamboyant are you recording are you still recording? I got cousin Oh pictures. Sorry Okay, all right, she is fucking amazing Yeah, it's because I trained her well. Hey stop for one second you two far. We're not on a bus

I don't keep going this girl is amazing. You're amazing Not like that what I mean she's grace hold her she again. She's only how old you oh? Yeah, she's a mech And now I'm not giving her a beer Well, let me let me before we get into all this shit and side stuff and there's a lot to get into. Let me just take you back. Take me back. Do-do-do-do, take me back.

To, uh, and you guys have all been here, okay? You guys all remember this. God willing. I like, first of all, I'd like to know, this would happen to me. When I come home Friday night, I had a shit night, I had a really bad set at the underground.

I was just mad and angry and I was under a lot of anxiety and the whole process of the nine months. And you know your life is about to change. You're like, let's just go, come on. I want to get on with this next stage of life and every day that goes by and it doesn't happen. You get stressed and you start thinking about when it does with the fucking, it's just nuts. I get home, it's, you know, whatever. I have some food. We hang out, we talk, and then we go to bed. It's 2.30 and I'm like, I'm exhausted.

I am swiped. I'm fucked. I'm done. She's tired. As soon as we turn the lights out, I turn my little mini iPad with the stand that I have. That's an awesome setup that I'll be talking about. Tech Talk someday. I put on my episode of the glades. And right when it took my water broke, B, my water broke. And I flip out.

I turn the light on and there's water everywhere. You hit her? No, I didn't. Jesus, can you put your favorite down? No, she's not a dog. Bender. Bender, roll it up. I'm the bed.

Get off. Go to your corner. You're probably nice, isn't it? I'm telling you, Marley, really made me laugh. Tell you, Marley, really made me laugh. Tell you you, finally, really made me laugh. Tell me, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really Smack my how no what happened so you know all the shit goes out the window that you've learned of everything You I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that we go to the hospital We get our shit together. We put the bag together. She and she's still dripping water Which is disgusting because it's not water It's creamy. Yeah, it's like it's like Perrell's hand sanitizer

It's a clear go, but it's, it's, yeah. It's a great smoothie base. Yeah, like you could, it's very, it's very, it's parallel. I would say it's parallel. Paral hand sanitizer, it's that consistency. It looks like loose coming out of bed down her legs. It looks like I didn't look.

I just saw it on the floor, okay, and on the bed, and I did just say, flew. To the left. Did you, how did you clean it up? Are you like the dogs, is that it? I had to clean it up there. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, because I didn't know the consistency got me. As I'm cleaning it, I saw someone on her leg and on the floor, ugh, I'm like,

this is fucking how she's laughing. She's like, they just cleaning it. We get everything ready, we call the doctor, we go in, we go up to the hospital, we get out to the thing, they bring us into the room, they start checking her, you know, her van, which is fun. By the way, only like 9% of women actually,

the water breaks. I wanna, the very rare. Very rare that the water breaks and it did break and it doesn't mean that she goes into contraction. So all you fucking apes out there who are having a baby, thing of having a baby, it's different for every single woman. It's not TV, the water breaks. The baby comes out

six hours later, whatever. She went in. It's different for everybody. We went in no contractions, very light contractions. So they sent us home. They go, all right, go home. No water. You know, the baby at that point is surviving off of the ambivalent accord. It's not the water. It can live. I found out that the baby can live for like a couple days without the water, ambiotic fluid. You didn't know that. I didn't know that either.

And there's a little plug. There's a cervix that looks like a, you know, a little fucking, if you hold your hand upside down and connect the fingers, it looks like that. And inside there is a mucus plug. And that plug pops the fuck out. When that pops out, the way here's a thing, that's not always true.

Sometimes they lose them, you get spugged. Because B lost them, you get spugged at home. Sometimes the ambiatic, the spugged. She already see the dog, Narnon. Narnon. Narnon. Sport. Put it down, sport.

Sport, put them in fucking mucus, plug down. And then the sack won't break. So the doctor will actually like poke it with your mouth. Dude, I smoked my mucus, plug, dude. I put it in the joint, man. I got stoned. Bro, bro. So anyway, you get to the hospital, they're like,

all right, they're checking in over the edge. They're putting this stuff on a check in the baby's heart rate. Go home. And if it gets worse, come back. If not, get here by 230, then you're being checked in. So we go- What's your travel time from your house to the hospital? Five minutes, it's on 58th Street,

with down in the 40s. Okay. So it's right up the street. We could walk if we had to. You made her walk, didn't you? And I made her walk. No, we took a petty cab. Oh, God, it's just juice. So if you sat in a petty cab that day and it was just parallel, you on your leg,

whoa, what's going to clean this? So we get it, we go home and we go back to bed. And that's it. We go back to bed. We wake up at like 12. We start getting our shit together. She's still fine. We get back up there at 230, they admit us, and then they come in and do a vage check, a cervix check, and it hurts her. Does that go woman? I mean, hands going up. I mean, they like fuck you, I'm going up there with my hand, and I'm checking your cervix, and like some blood came out, and I had to look away.

Yeah, it's fucking gross. I didn't want to see any of that shit. It was just fucking gross. Yeah, that's when it gets real, dude. It looks like some farming stuff. Yeah, man. It's like all of a sudden, yeah, it's like some type of cattle thing, right?

And it's fucked up. People come in, put a glove, go in your fucking wife's hole. Yeah. And they're like, not ready It's into some other person comes in. Yeah, then you look at your wife's fucking pussy lips It looks like they were punched. You ever see you you ever see like a fighter after he gets a beat and there's no Trying to fucking watch it Was talking too much shit to a guy was bigger than it wow Oh my God. That lamp falls on your head, so you stop.

You should stay in your head first and then say it. Raise your hand when you want to talk. And look at that. You have fun? Fuck you. Perfect. So yeah, it. Nurses don't always have the best bedtime banner too.

Well, they can't. can't they got fucking they know They know what a baby can take they know what a vage can take they know how the human body works They're not gonna they she needs to get up and check the cervix. She's not you know my you know because my wife hasn't been laden Eight months because I'm a fucking pervert and rather jerk off to she-mail porn call back Eric You were right, Eric. I'm not fucking, you didn't have sex with her, no? Yeah, I did. Okay.

It's better for the judge. Don't worry, I fucked her. It's the other service. Any other fucking joke she wanna fucking disnare. No, it was no, you know what? What, MPR? Yeah. You didn't have sex.

You know, it's good to have sex with your wife while she's pregnant. It opens up the server. It loosens the server. What are you doing? Most doctors I can't get another soda Bob. God you can Oh Lewis go really defensive. I know he's just cried. Come on. That was LA fucking yeah Stike Lewis. Can I change it to Luis? You should Gomez Luis Gomez no Jay. He's just a place of Gomez

Bro like the band you should go use of Gomez and just grow mustache and that's it and then hang out at home Depot For hang out one of those fucking canals Nothing with the canal One of the canals You know the reservoir thing the canals that run in LA the water systems the people You know I'll tell you what if this show was in LA people in LA right now are cracking the fuck out All right, so fuck you I'll take the bandana, but it's bullshit. I'm so damn no, I'm talking about I'll take the bandana, but it's bullshit. Bigger to Amsterdam.

No, I'm talking about the fuck me in that light. The fuck is wrong with you. I think it's so cold. All right, listen, be a Niagara Falls. No, we got it. So all water things. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She lays. But she dilated, how about if I wish you? Well, she was a half a centimeter. Oh, that's nice. Nothing.

So then they were like, look, we're going to do this, it's called the Servadelle, which will help you. What? The Servadelle. It does like a little song. No? You have her. You wouldn't let me.

I'm not even giving it. You know what? She's in a deserve of the band, bomb Dana. That's it. I'm not even giving it to her. That's how bad that one was. She was just never going to let me go. You know what, she's in a deserve of the band, bomb Dana, that's it. I'm not even giving a tour. That's how bad that one was. She was just never gonna bother that. You know what, bugged me about her?

She bombs and she tries to get cute at the end. She didn't even tap it out. Yeah, that's what Kelly does every time. Every time she says a joke, she's oversells it at the end. She'll say that, she'll say the punch, and she goes, Hey, what is she doing?

Hey. Hey, what is she doing? Hey, what is, hey, to let everyone know they should be happy. Habadot. Habadot. Whoa, we way. What, how's it going? Habadot. Hey, I'm kidding.

Habadot, oh, we way. Habadot. What the fuck is that? It's the Australian. So insane. It's so addictive. I want to say it. Habadot.

Oh, we way. Listen to me dough, a halloween way. Listen to me, have a dough, wee way. So we're back in the hospital. They put this thing, it's like, literally, it's a piece of cloth that they wrap around this stick that they put up near the surface. The bomb danna? No, the fucking servadale.

And they put the bomb danna in a vagina? Oh, it's not that it a time to unclog a toilet so then they uh... no reason for a so then we uh... they put it up there and this thing kicks in

she goes into labor a couple hours later and and it's fucking brutal like my wife that the urinal well she's getting the epidural but she has to go into labor and it's fucking brutal. Like my wife, Epidural no, Epidural. Well, she's getting the Epidural, but she has to go into labor first before she gets the Epidural. The pain, it was like, I'm holding her hand.

She's looking into my eyes, crying, saying, I don't know if I can do this. Oh my God. I don't know if I can do it. And it's like watching somebody murder your wife in front of you and all you can do is hold her hands while she's being murdered. That's like watching somebody murder your wife in front of you and all you can do is hold her hands while she's being murdered. That's the feeling I got.

I wanted to do, I could not do anything, except tell her to go, breathe, breathe, which is, is horseshit. Did you rub her feet? Here's nothing. I rubbed her feet with a lavender oil kid. I got fucking lavender. She did a nice breath. I brought brought in lavender put it on her pillow

You were just my own surprise or a daughter So I am yeah, I was rubbing her back and Thank God the guy comes in but the epidural it's it's it's fucking crazy They have to go into your spinal cord a girl it's it's it's it's fucking crazy they have to go into your spinal cord yeah she's got to turn on her side not move don't she has she was standing up sitting up sitting up yeah she had a sit up you can't move she's shaking you have to get you out of the room or you got to know I was right there I got to mind that didn't they got to see mine she's like make sure they do right I was like

okay you fucking keep that and when did you get your fucking what are you on yeah I was like doctor you Didn't make doctor coach that small I was in there with my mother along they kicked us out and she was going bananas. Yeah I want to what's going on. We have to see what's going on. I didn't really I was like whatever I mean it's whatever it's gonna probably be gay anyone there doctor. This is against tribal law There is no medicine man. Oh We must like the fire. Or this kid will be gay. You are unclean. My kid was a doctor was unclensed. So we, so she, the, this guy comes in, he's kind of a good looking dude. He had cool dirt.

He's putting the stuff in this other guy's watching him. It's, it's like, I guess he was the other, the regular doctor was kind of, he was shadowing the regular doctor. It's like being a Benagons with a new actress. I'm gonna add an intern. We got one of those, there's someone come to, he's like, it's a little kid, he's with his clipboard right in everything down.

He's like, he says, training. Yeah, this guy's putting needles in my wife's spine. And he's got a flare on his fucking jacket. You guys smiley face, having a nice day. So after they get it in, I'm like, oh god, I sit down on this chair, I'm like, thank God. The guy's walking out, he looks at me, goes, no, my wife's tits hanging out,

her fucking rocky lip vage was hanging from having her cervix checked every five minutes. And then he looks at me, he looks at me like this he goes comedy seller fantastic thanks brother I don't know if this is the appropriate time I don't know how I prefer I don't know what professional book you still like though I'm like yeah I can come down and get tickets as long as you know Facebook you saw my wife

snatch at its worst days I was fucking goofy smiling at you. Then he leaves, she goes the fuck out. Now she's done, she's chilling, she still feels the pressure and all that. And they come back in and check every couple hours. And it goes from that to one inch to three inches to six inches, centimeters, sorry, it's inches, six inches, he just walked right out. I'm Maximus. You actually, for that one, you get a free bomb without getting the baby there. I'm Maximus. Yeah, I'm back to this. Hi.

Hi. Hey, what's up? What's the sun? Shing. Oh, you're not in the shade. He takes off his helmet and the helmet looks like Dan's out his face. So anyways, he, you know, he's six centimeters, three o'clock in the morning, ten centimeters Ah. Ah. Ah. So anyways, he's six centimeters,

three o'clock in the morning, 10 centimeters, like that. And I'm out. We've been sleeping on and off. She comes in 10 centimeters. Lights go on. Get ready to rise. I just wanted to be like, just give me 10 minutes. Let me wake up right.

Isn't it better if it's 14 centimeters? No, 10 centimeters. That's it, 14, Jesus Christ. It's called a fucking joke. Yeah, well, I told you think about it in your head first and then raise your hand. I want your hand up for the rest of the show. This doctor goes, okay, let's try practice push. She says grab to her leg and I'm like, oh fuck I wanted to go. You know what fuck you. You do it. I wanted to go you know what fuck you you do it I mean I get what kind of a sag insurance do I have that I got to hold a leg?

You know what I mean I get no scrubs I got nothing It's probably just walked in for me in a donut. She's fucking got her hands up my wife's pussy What have you got donut crumbs pass the gloves? I'm not that you went in past your elbow Come on her mouth she did a little trick. Oh, look, it's just a fucking G-Mouse though. So, I grab a leg, the other nurse grabs a leg, the doctor's down there and she goes, all right, let's just try practice, push,

and she's got her hand, and she goes, all right, one, two, three, and she goes, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up We're going we're going like that's she started like put her coat on quick 20 minutes later the kids out Kid pops out. I look down at one one part He saw I saw the head half the head you saw half the head coming out of the vatch So his hair he has hair too for anybody who's seeing the I saw I get high lights. I saw the hair ridiculous fabulous Celebrity ready

I think Dane fucked my wife And I mentioned Dane for the guy that hates when I mentioned Dane wait he goes yeah How he goes like does he send me an email? I thought you'd be over it by now go fuck yourself serious I Yeah, I saw the head but the hair his hair and her hair were like melding It's all melding. So it just looked like a a hairy bump pussy like It was just weird man and then worse and then they pull them out and put them I got video man I got the video I'll show you yeah, yeah, I didn't record it coming out of the vagina Because I don't think nobody's need I don't need to see that

Yeah, nobody know you don't know. No, no, I'm saying we record We recorded ours you did coming on my sister was there we allowed that's why she's a lesbian He's on my sister like no what you recorded a sister was recording it and it's the best creep when they when they do the What you recorded a comment my sister was recording it and it's the best reap when they when they do the Apecy out of me when I didn't have that yeah my sister's recording that you can see the camera just fucking like She passes out. Yeah big comes back in. Why would you read? Pastel she was about to you can see the camera I know they make an asshole the judge she wasn't ready for them. I said just recording. Yeah, when they cut the Make an asshole the judge she wasn't ready for them. I said just Yeah, when they cut the they don't cut the asshole into the vagina

They cut sometimes they do no they don't They don't they don't they do not Listen doctor Gomez you don't fucking know for sure You have the real 14 centimeters Yeah, the other guy just went it's for the they have to go 14 right I'm I'm practicing my LA Gomez right now We go 14 with tacos and a Shut the fuck up you dummy got through the ass already done spec They got up to the belly button

The belly button is where he looks from right when he sees outside It's like a pedoscope. So anyways, they put the baby right up on her. I cut the cord, not a big deal, because they kind of prep it where it looks like calamari. It's just like squid. It's tough meat though. No, not at all yours was, because it's a real ass dude. The real ass. Yeah, muscles in the cord.

Yeah, I'm doing it. All right. Mine was easy. It was, no, I just cut it and it was done. And then they put the kid up there and it was just fucking crazy. But here she was shocked. You're shocked. You want to be like, oh my god, it's my boy.

But you're like, what the fuck is happening? You're saying the words, holy shit, we had a baby, we did it. But you're really thinking like, what the fuck is going on? Why did we do this? Why did we do this? Why would we ever do this? What do we do?

I thought that was your fucking thing. I, it's gonna live for a long time, unlike a shitsuit that dies after 12 years. As it's too late. As it's too late. Who wants this? Oh man. And then it got real.

It's not right? I cried, yeah. Yeah, yes I did. It's very emotional. Well you have in your kids' gay, so you cry for different reasons. Yeah, no, no. You only cry when you see garbage

Like the Indian commercial with the garbage fuck all of you that was a great joke No garbage is funny letters funny to but god fuck you. I want to vote anybody listen to goddamn podcast It I want you to look at this fucking cocktail looks like nobody nobody knew where it was a reference to him being in India. Nobody spoke and then I said it. I call them in Indian everywhere. I think it's because you used the word garbage trash would make a fuck everybody. That was a brilliant job. Row. She's 12. She's not gonna know the commercial. Rono's everything you shut your face. She does. I don't know what buttons do you have on your shorts.

So, Rono's everything, you shut your face. She doesn't button to do you have on your shorts. It takes you 18 minutes to pee. Rosa shorts. Rosa shorts had an appeasiotomy. They got it to the belly button. They got it to the belly button to asshole. They're father gave those shorts because nobody's that patient to get that to get down her pants.

No, I'm fucked by daughter now. Yeah, fuck this. Chastity shorts. I'm being the steel. There's 87 buttons. I'm gonna code. It's just not worth it. She's wearing a pee coat of shorts.

All right, anyways. So what is it, appeasing on me? Is it when they cut the puts? I What is it? Appeasy on me they cut the push Bottom of your snatch they cut not all the way cut it just to give the baby a little more room to come out Yeah, I didn't we didn't have to do that. That's not a tarot. That's not practice anymore. They let it normally They let it tear no no that'd be due practice that so you know we've all had Jolder I remember my mom mom telling me about how how that was in the 50 your mom is a chef pussy And I was in Australia too when they just did it in the dirt here at Kangaroo ship

I think it's coming It's right now take out your noise Gary Put down the crooked dial you call that into PC automate get the croak tooth scissors You call that in a piece of your army get the croak to scissors They just sealed up your vadra vedger might let it dry in the sun like your houses Bloom so yeah, she didn't need that they she the baby came out she was fine Didn't she little slight whatever she had to get some stitches very small, not bad. But, you know, Eric's freaking me out, tell me fucking junk, so I'm gonna be falling

on my wife's badge for the next week. That's bullshit. She had her placenta broke. Yeah, mine did a little piece of the cover. Yeah, well, you didn't forgot to tell me that. You said that dude, wait, pieces of the placenta is gonna be falling out on the floor at your apartment. You're gonna have to clean it up. Go fuck yourself.

That was a lie. I told you... I can't... First of all, wake up, fuckface. Have a coke and a smile, because I'm sick of you shit-low energy. How's that? I'm sorry, I can't do it. I did a fucking kid! He's got a kid! He's got two ones of Lesbos!

We're gonna kid-hold an eye pad in here. I'm emotionally drained. We got fucking dead womb over here, one's a kid. Yeah, she's got fucking, she's got a western town womb. That was exactly what I was going, HBO. Yeah, she's got tumbleweeds flying through a fucking uterus. Like barren uterus, yeah. Her belly button's dead

oh man I'm excited to have babies but after I I baby set little James who I love dearly he needed you I was like I'm no rush at all

this is like the biggest decision anyone could ever make and Aaron 45 minutes he cried in my arms yeah well you should have been doing your act for him I thought I'll put him to sleep. She's uploading. Kelly is on fire! Kelly is on fire! Don't stamp your feet, your fucking ape.

How would I tie ya? How can Kelly possibly unfire a little fight? Just use your hands stupid. No, I can't. Like the rest of us, nobody has just the whole house shakes when you stamp your fucking fat foot. Nobody's ever said the words killings on fire before. You just ruined it.

Now what are you gonna do? It's that a few times. I wish you fucking your house was on fire. Would my baby in it? No, I wish a baby out of it. I like it baby. Big-eyed, fucking sexy, son of a bitch. He's cute, not as cute as my kid, but cute.

Kelly, if you ever pitch your, oh, let's do a kid, let's do a kid thing right now. We're doing a kid off. We're doing a kid off. Pull your kids out. Pull your kids' dicks out. Pull your. I'm not a dick thing. You're doing my kid my oldest has one Did you get your circumsize Bob? Of course I did mind's on. Yes Do it at the hospital. Yeah, who's judging this popped off? Who's really? Yeah, I'm not gonna do that who's judging this

We know what need on her have high, but how about this? She doesn't know what our kids look like. Row, why don't we all mix up our phones and we'll show Row an unbiased, and I'll be the one with the hoodie. And the, who needs this the final and the, this is the one with a teed-drop tattoo, come to me.

Oh, only says the one with big shoulders and a fucking Sarah McLaughlin CD. And Eric's just look fabulous fabulous because it's so beautiful Like all right do I do that? Eric looks like any member of Manudo Who's Manudo? Martin again, I'm trying to find the cutest picture you can I got the cutest picture right here

What we're doing we're doing a kid off right now i was in she i know what our kid what happened to kelly and roe i don't know kelly's bias fuck this kelly can't be kalee is not bias roe we're gonna have to the two women in the fucking room do you need you can't just have roe you need another woman they need to discuss fine eric alright

i already do this i ready i got my kid all right ready i will i who gets them first? Kelly? No, they both get it. They both get it. I grow, get on a microphone. Eric, move to the couch. We'll get those sweet... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alright, here we go. We're gonna have a kid off. The cutest fucking kid. Now, eyes open, eyes shut. Doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Wait, for the baby? Yeah, for the baby. Yeah for the baby

Let's go come on get your photo Eric. I'm ready to go stupid fucking Photos what do we do? I'm ready to go here. We go. Go. Hi ready I thought we were concealing which phone it was I wouldn't know who's the father? No, you're gonna know because it looks like 20-year-old no mean start a tellin' Listen listen listen. This isn't a real game show Here's a picture of my daughter Don't look like you don't look like Billy Burr You're fat I get red here dead. All right. Here we go. Ready. Let's go. I'm ready. Let's go give you give it give it give it to the girls Ready let's go give it give it give it to the girls

The biggest the biggest eyes and hair is amazing Now when it was a baby you want a baby Features mother fucker oh this cock sucker What hello we're talking a couple a month or so, you know when it was Yeah, you got a pull back you had features his eyes were open. I mean Bob All right, I mean you want to do this? I can't I can't play that game. All right I'm gonna do you have I will do the newborn photo new born photo Eric No, I'm in the day old all right, that we're gonna lose you're I seen your

I want to make sure it's his kid he might be using like the photo from It's got a little monkey Okay, okay, okay Lewis go That photo Day old that's right out the room every ex babies pretty Look at our baby pretty cute right? All right, he like rashes God If you like baby rash on the face

15 minutes old all right go go not you know don't know don't say hey don't say What is it you laughing because it looks like alien? That's not a good adjective Okay, yeah, yeah, right here's my kid ready. Here we go go. There's the my kid Oh, if I say that he's not the cutest why lose my job. No, you don't okay. Well, he is really cute all right Hold on, you know, that's it. No Foto Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly no

No, no, no, no Wives boob that's Bullshit get that out. Hold on. That's get out get out. Hold on get out You can't do two photos the hell is your kid in that photo? Head when I should do that first of all that's not fair to do two photos Kelly and I gave you a little bit on the me see looks exactly like my wife's head That's an all you do you fuck is it leaking? Oh Let me see

Your wife's boob looks like an alien. Why are all those fucking vane? Jesus Christ here. I fucking veins Jesus Christ here I What what all right let's go? You choose a picture please see what picture? No, okay. Yeah, I'll give you one more picture right? I'm excited the cuteness you guys both got to you cheated with features and you cheated with it very cute baby. Oh my god. Can I see no? No? No? No? No stop showing phone

Wearing a Yankees hat. Listen, that's bullshit row. I First of all I want to erase that from the jury angel not really Look at his eyes So wait the next picture no features would just say this? This is bullshit. I'm showing one photo. I'm sticking out of rules. No, no, no. Because listen, stop. Talba's talk.

Oh, that's cute. That's cute. Show him a picture. You can kick down the fucking shot. You'll never be on the show. Put the throw. Get the fuck out of here, bro. You're a fucking piece of shit, bro.

Beat it, Kelly. You're making the decision. Kelly, you're done, bro. No, you know, fuck you, Ro. You don't play by the rules. I can't, Ro. You're easily swayed. You're like the chick the mob gets and they get to you.

It's not happening. It's good no fear. You got Puerto Rican on show. I'm trying not to look, but he's putting in my face. Kelly's not looking. Look at Kelly. Kelly, you're making the decision. You're making the decision, Ro.

Every photo, you can tell the kid's personality from his photo, you know what I mean? All right, no, we don't explain. Okay, well with Lewis' baby, he's very cute. He's still, like he looked like he was, you know. What? You know what I mean? You know, he looked, he looked,

he looked, he looked, he looked, you can show it, she's out of the game. He's out of the game. You know, he looked, you've tainted the witness. You're tainted the witness you tainted the witness I bet look James is a super Jolly

Jesus Christ and she's gonna fucking just go for you no matter what you just showed Row a fucking a featureette out of your kid No fuck yourself and this kid this kid did an eight month fucking in the crib looking up Malfota Your kid fucking knows your name ass hole. Doesn't it? Yeah, he does that. And my kid goes, you shoulda picked up your kid driving a car. Listen, Eccala, you're, you're,

Lewis's photo, he's already eyes are opening, he's grabbing it, he just looks already like a pain in the ass. Like a prank. Yeah, shut up. Lewis, letter fucking speech. It's a furious stuff. It doesn't matter if it's infuriating It's her time to fucking talk shut your face Kelly go ahead air explain. He's really cute, but he was asleep

So I wasn't getting any of who he was right, I mean as a total though. I mean dude. Come on pretty cute Well, we don't know yeah, it was kind kind of a way, Katie's little Dominys now. Right. And he's, you know, it looks like he should be dressing Ed Hardy because he's that, it's amazing. I don't know, man, obviously Max is a lot as a newborn.

Oh, she's seen him in Perth, that doesn't count. She hasn't seen ours in Perth. She's seen his, you didn't see mine in Perth. And then you see yours, just look. Boy, go, shut up, Lewis.

Go ahead, pick it. From the photos that I saw today ahead pick it from the photos today Rose week right now now know that she saw one photo mine Because I'm I play by the rules row. I don't know if you know me, but you know what I have integrity on her Play by the rules, Row. I don't know if you know me, but you know what I have integrity honor all right Hey, I look no Lewis and I don't know book out the window What Lewis and I am mad it's Max's hair that put him over the line that hair is freaking amazing I don't remember the hair. I have to see it again. I'll show it. Let me show it. It's got a highlight Let me show it out. Let me show it natural high

Let me show it natural high See this one He's keep showing me pictures. I know it's cute. I saw it. He's a jolly. I've ever seen my life He's jolly Just happy to be there. I like to like something. I'm holding him in the crowd 45 days show that one Did I hope it's a picture of your dick? You're not funny if it's not a picture of your day Don't show them. Don't show them.

That kid's ready for Abba Krabby. Oh, you want to see the hair? I got to show the hair. Give me the hair. I just wanted to see the hair. Let me see that. You don't want to do that in the hair. Ro just make your decision.

No, I'm really afraid. Don't be afraid, Ro. All right, this is the better one for the hair. That's the better one for the hair. Kelly, you want this guy? Pick the new kid. No, it is. He said to us.

He said to us. You got them too. You got them too. You just want to find the one. It's a problem. That's my long bobby. Kelly Kelly got picture your kid All right, we're gonna have Say one thing as a newborn. He's your son's the best looking as a new boom Newborn and that's all I have to play with because I have a newborn so fuck it and fuck you adorable children You big pictures with eyes open you didn't even give me eyes dude first of all you kid you had a rash My kid touch your kid yeah Mike Wouldn't be able to go know you because he's a new one

And Lewis's Kid just put your kid in a fucking vet of purel Lewis's kid I looks like they found him on the side of the road in Nevada near the black mailbox That's the area 51 That's a joke for the fucking nerds out there Listen man, my kid is the most normal looking kid. I mean your kid normal Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do You wouldn't be able to tell it gets very fair skin your kid. Yeah, you can't listen man Your kids are good looking kid now, but now, but we don't know. We don't know what's gonna roll up Um, my experience with babies is that I'm sorry. I'm what are they called babies?

Babies, yes, the cuter the newborn the more ugly the toddler I've found no He's trying to play it like she's a real ass chick like she's gonna say that your kids gonna be eventually an ugly toddler I've found no Bob No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no What double negative That's bullshit tie on for ice up. Yeah, his hair looks like a hat I mean, don't be mad at hair. Let me see I am Yeah, Eric's got a cute kid. I'm a good kid. Hey, that is got a cute kid But yeah, because you're the prince that that your girl is hot you girls a sexy girl I don't get no credit on that. No, you don't do you give your kid a good hair though I'm a jelly this kid this kid should be sold

Fucking cute your kids an asshole. I love your kid. What a fucking dickhead. He's just like yeah He's ruining the party just like you do Making noise and being goofy. Kids are running drunk. Yeah, take this fucking phone. All right, so my kid wins, right? For now. For now.

For now. I'm saying he's gonna ugly up and toddler. Who's saying? Who do you think, who's kid do you think won? You, Bobby. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Do you think my kid's the cutest?

That's very cute. I think all three of you are very cute. It's eye sparkle. Oh god, I could have done that in fucking Photoshop. Let me say, his eye sparkle because he's throwing another planet. His eye sparkle because he's high. With a glossy. His eyes are too big for his fucking eyes. They'll grow into it though. He can actually see people coming up behind him. He's a plunder. He seems like

a fly. He just sees a thousand images. He can see through fucking steel. He's like a human baby with the big eyes. Yeah, the reason why he's smiling is he gonna see a Gucci through your pants. This is his eyes are too big fucking Christ. Oh my God. Look at the side. Oh, that's a cute you fucked up and you showed up that you dummy You're a doubted show them this these these are a nice that one That one big goofy face. Yeah, that one's a good one. That one look at that one to show me fucked up You know, but you you know because the game's over anyways Look for dick. Look down sit down sit down I don't want to see his fucking great Puerto Rican deck. You should be, he's bulls the other day.

He's got a Yankee cock. Listen, here we go. A picture of your back. I wanna go back. Listen, all right, shut up. Here we go. First of all, we gotta hear you phone. First of all, Kelly, do some ads.

Oh, tweet audio. So if you wanna get a great deal on headphones, go to tweakedaudio.com. Type in the code word, dude, for free shipping and 33% off. Bobby, you bought some twigd audio headphones. A lot of fans are bottom. They have, they tweet all the time, it's great. They tweet them all the time, they're good.

They're not bows, you know, and they're not the most expensive head. They're inexpensive. Yeah, they're like 23 bucks for a pair. Plus the value wise, they're way better than bows or better than beats or any of these other things. They're better than apple ones. I had beats and they fought I had three sets of beats and working out with them the sweat god in them Yeah, and they broke them fucking 180 dollar headphones my

Tweaked audio phones still working still good. I work because you don't work out You don't sweat them fat though, but I am trying to make I'm trying to make Lewis fail. Lewis fail. Lewis fail. That was the first. No, you didn't fail. He just gave up. Wow.

I'm going to say I make Rocky candy with them. I hang them in some water. Wow. Anyway, hang on one second. Too complicated of a joke. There you go. That's not even a joke. That's a statement. You're not really one of a joke. There you go, that's not even a joke, that's a statement.

You're not really one of my bad kids. So anyways, yeah, so go to tweakedaudio.com, use the code word dude, and you get free shipping and 33 motherfucking fucking percent off. 33 fucking percent off. Go to amazon.com on the ryecast slash ykwd page. Go to a page on ryecast, and when you buy something off the internet, use our link, Amazon link, or use the,

it's anything you buy. Just buy it from our link, we make money, they make money, you support the show, and also gamefly.com slash YKWD. Go to that link, go to that page, that address, join up for two free weeks from us. That's the Netflix of gaming. Two games for 15 days.

That's right. Mm-hmm. Yep, so make sure you check it out. And all you guys have donated, thank you so fucking much. You guys are great. You've donated a lot. Kelly, you know, of course, had theves. She sent me fucking diapers, man.

Oh, did she? She's awesome. Love Heather. She's gonna be at the show in comics and Foxwoods, which now you can promote. Oh, great. So, comics, Foxwoods, Lewis, while me and Bobby at Foxwoods, Cassino and Cassino. You've never done a job in commercials. I am, let me, let me speak. It's just, let me go. Okay, will you stick up for yourself and once in this fucking show? Yeah, I'm just telling you.

I'm not, I'm not mad about the judging. I don't even want to go to the show now because she's saying. Oh, God. Well, you're, you're, your wish is fucking grand. Oh, he's on. Oh, he is on. Goodbye.

You're so much more fun than Lewis. You're so much more fun than Lewis. So it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and night, June 27th, 28th, 29th. And then we're doing a nasty show, which Lewis is hosting on the Saturday night late show. So if you want to go, please buy tickets now, because we're still not sure if we're going to do a podcast while we're up there. So if we see that, well, you know, one of the shows is sort of full and pre-sold, we'll do a show. Yeah, we might do one up there in there.

We're gonna try to do it. And if we don't, we don't. We'll be hangin'. We'll be shut. No, I decide where we do the thing. It's my show. So you want fans coming to your hotel room. So we'll do it in your hotel room.

So you don't get your sharing one with Kelly. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, you're not. I'm kidding, no you're not. No you're not. Gotta work, sir. All right, so I want to thank people who have donated to the show. Please, Kevin St. Louis, Heather Graves, Douglas Maloney.

Oh, he's great, I love Doug. No, Baruso. How do you know Doug? Because he tweets a lot. Yeah, he tweets a good guy. He's a hammer-fishing as well. OK, great. And no, Baruso, you guys have really, no, you fishing as well. Okay, great. And no baruso. You guys have really

no you fucking you're crazy. You're unbelievable. Love you. Heather Kevin Douglas. Jordan, you guys are awesome. Appreciate those funds go to go to the show. Go to some of those to Kelly for all the shit she does. She buys a lot of shit for the show and we get to repay her and you guys really it helps out. Everything we have here is from those donations. So you guys are awesome. Rose buttons. I said Rose buttons. We use money for Rose buttons. Yeah. See if the sum is not going to be fine. Well, no, it wasn't. It's a little bit of a joke. It's not. Sometimes you have to explain. So thank you so much for all your donations.

You guys are awesome. Make sure you follow us on Facebook and like our page. Mm-hmm. On Facebook. Facebook, YKWD podcast. Everything's on there. And if you're following us personally, follow us on YKWD podcast at YKWD podcast.

Twitter and also in the videos on YouTube, follow Robert Kelly at R.K. Live at what you were just and you're gotten from me. I did. Oh, bleep. I did. I just had to fix my stomach because my belt is literally cutting it. I'm stabbing myself. Yeah, my piece of your heart amina. I just I took my stomach into my jeans. What is it called? A piece of your heart amina. I know. You stuck it. I stuck my stomach and put my jeans It's the out of me I know You stuck it I stuck my stomach into my jeans and my stomach wouldn't come out of my jeans I wear pregnancy pants I need rose fucking girdle jeans

Why do you think I wear them? Why? You're not fat And mom thinks she's tired You're mom? I'm gonna let Kelly take this one How about as your mom? Jesus The popular chick You've got 10 pounds Mom mom I'm gonna look Kelly take this one. How does your mom? Jesus Popular chick and I'm very 10 pounds. You have very fat row

Routum you very you know you know you know what you were last summer on the boat this year you're a little fat and pale You should get some sun and stop eating very tan. She's actually dark really my dad's the pale one. She blank. No She's actually dark really my dad's a pale one. She blank. No. Oh Yo, Rob Rao listen to me. You got a stopbeat and the fact that the the swizzle is I hope she listens to this because she says 10 pounds I need you need to lose 10 pounds cut off a tits tell it to look younger She looks very young. Yeah, don't let your mom. Can I see a picture your mom? I don't know any picture Listen first take pictures first of all but people think that she's in her early 40s when she's in her mid 50s She's not allowed to take pictures. What is she?

Some like take pictures. She's the witness protective program. I can't even say it because somebody stepped on it She's an attractive woman. I listen to me real your parents don't listen to the show, right? No, thank God Here's trashing you, but you're fucking weird shorts They pay for it. It's their problem. You have you have a German German fucking shorts You do you say leader hosens? Yeah, I was fucking seconds away from saying it But I know I fucked up the thing I said German shuits and I was leader host who was fucking coming out next you cock suck it That was an L.U. He helped you you these are German looking. Yeah, those are yeah style sucks You're wearing this American flag shirt that like someone words

You just got fucking smash by an intern let me tell you deal with that situation You are great style listen you do hold on time now. You're not a real ass dude a real ass dude wouldn't take that up That's I'm telling you what I stopped screaming you do it without screaming you are very we lose listeners cuz he is the Fashion is going on right now. This is high fucking crotch pants and the shorts and it's all like this We're doing like an old guy the The fashion now is this. Yeah. This, the other people on the streets literally dress like homeless people. I'm like the in between.

You, no, no, you're rocking it, the stuff, but the style sucks. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're hotter than this. If you weren't like low cut shorts, that's way hotter than these books. I was gonna wear them, but then I decided not to. Under your fucking titshorts.

I don't listen. There's some space between. No, those are cool. Give me some, some, You have bulletproof shorts on. I like that. I like that. Look at it very fashion.

I get that it's in. It's in. It's very. But you're fucking like, that's what guys, we don't want to see that. Or only's daughter doesn't want to see it either. Guys, and only's daughter don't want to see it either. What do guys like then?

We don't like the gun. Guy, can I say something? Guys don't want it to take 37 minutes to get teen-yup pants. I'm not going to happen for anyone. We like you. I mean, I don't know. Just want me to wear a tank top and shorts. I want you to wear a dress that goes down to your ankles

every day. Oh, no. I was going to wear a dress, but it was in a boat. You should wear a sundress. It was dressed in a red hook. Why is it not appropriate? Because it was stra, but it was in a book. You should wear a sundress. It was dressed in a real outfit. Why is it not appropriate? Because it was like, it was strapless and it was like falling down.

I did like a tube top. Kind of, and then I told it. Don't ever listen to me. Don't ever come here with the tube top. I have a fucked up urge that any girl that wears a tube top, I want to just pull it down just to see the tips pop up. No, I would never.

Even with my wife and public. Bobby, where's one I just want to whip her tits out. Bobby is an ursa-sexly assault you, that's what he what is they I remake told me not to wear the dress because I can't Not say that talk about my boobs all the time. Yeah, no regardless. It's still happens I like that you attack Lewis. You didn't even fucking didn't we just fucking attack them That's what Kelly should do Kelly just backs off Attack him plenty. No you don't that's a general hurt over here. Oh, they're best friends. I love her really Best friend like how like I want to jerk off on her while she sleeps No, she wouldn't say his name, but I think it's Chuck Norris

God forbid my hope it's Chuck Norris Anyway, so anyways, we all have kids except for the two women here. And I mean, did you ever, I want to go through you guys, did you have wives for water break? No, it started trickling, but she had a- It was angry, yeah. She had a lot of fluid, so they had to actually go with the little stick and pop it out.

Really? Yeah, pop the- If you guys high five, one more time, you're fired and you're out. Really? Yeah, pop the, if you guys high five, one more time, you're fired and you're fired. It fucking crows. Why people love high five? No, I'm not white. I don't like queers high-fiving

because he said a mediocre joke. Get your shit together, though. I like saying green. I have more fucking respect for you than that. So they had to stick a stick in you as you join them and break the water. Really, and then what happened? And then we were in labor for a while really How long 27 hours in total wow yeah, but was she feeling pain the whole time?

Uh in the beginning it's weird because they kept asking like one to ten how's it feel and she's like I don't I've never had this pain So I don't fucking know she's like I think it's a seven and then one once the labor started to happen She's like oh no, no, this is that was not a seven. happen, she was like, oh no, no, this is, that was not a seven. That was a three. Yeah, she was like, this hurts. I was like, all right. And that was, she was in it for 27 hours. Oh, shit, guess who's calling?

The great Colin Quinn. Oh, yeah. Colin, you're, I'm on the, I'm actually on the podcast right now with Eric Rivera, Oane Perez, Louis J. Gomez, Kelly Fistuka, and the intern, a real, can you just say who wants? Hey, who's the last one? Rob, wrote, wrote to him, the intern. Remember, I wanted you to, I wanted her to intern for you, but you, you didn't need

any one. Oh, that's right. Do you need anybody? Um, I don't know. I don't know. You want to meet her? Fuck out on the the spot I just met her what's up buddy nothing is You know what? When I didn't even dig a that I didn't think of it, but no, they all have kids. Yeah, close Same thing as a Puerto Rican day parade

Are you making another Puerto of you in the parade reverence? Yeah, but it was was a shit to get the silky tarier. What was it? I know it was in batch. Pretty good.

It's a dog interpretation. Thank you. All right. I want you guys to get back to your business. I. OK. All right, buddy. I love you get back to your business. All right. Okay. All right, buddy.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Okay, bye. What's that?

Hello. Hello, Jim. You're on the YKWD podcast with Lewis J. Gomez, Oli Peres, Eric Rivera, Kelly Fistoka, and a girl you know who's an intern over here one day a week, a row, Tim. row Tim what's going on? How are you Jim? Who's I'm doing well. I thought you were working with us today.

No, I'm doing Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Oh, all right. All right, would you go well guys? Yes. It's my manager, Jim Cerebroco. Oh. Yeah, you're freaking everybody out because you're on the other side of the business. I don't know what Jim was.

What do you have? What are managers? Have you ever heard of me, Jim? Have you ever heard of Jim? Jim, sir. Have you ever heard of Jim? Let me just go through the list. I'm going to say their names. And you tell me if you've seen just go through the list i want to say her name and you tell me

if you if you've seen their comedy you know they are you ready yeah okay Eric Rivera uh... now okay only Perez uh... you have okay okay uh... you have okay okay uh... luis jade but uh... i don't know what you're gonna have heard of it

all right luis jay gomes yes sir to him of course you have you seen his comedy uh... no i have not have you heard anything about his comedy i heard it was very good yeah now jim are you lying to be nice

no i'm not nice you know that he's not house wrote time working out over there very interesting dumb old boy is the panties and it's the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the I really was. Screen the phone calls. That's how we would code for you if it was a book. Hang on, this is the boss of a puzzle right here.

You answer the phones. Not all the time sometimes. But you answer the phones. Can you please just give us your, how you answer the phones. I'm gonna call and you just say hello a puzzle, ready? Oh, whatever you say, ready? Can I get the phone? No, you're not the phone, Eric.

I mean, for Lewis. All right, ready? Ring, ring. I could have done it better. A puzzle. no you're not the phone Eric I mean for Lewis I ready ring ring I could have done it better a puzzle oh yeah right I don't answer the phone all the time though

there's shifts alright he's already upset with the wishy answer yeah I think she fucked up on the phone yeah Jim with Jim with fire but he's not paying her so so I'm not going to put someone alright buddy what's going on how's your son he's hanging it good someone. Alright buddy, what's going on? How's your son?

He's hanging it. Good. This son of a bitch, we play Xbox. Whoa. He's easy. We play Xbox together. He beats the shit out of me and call the duty all the time and it aggravates the fuck out of me Because I'm really good at the game, but his son is just that much better. How old is it? He's how old your son?

It's gonna be 13 next month. Oh, yeah, fuck that. You can't be the kid like that. Fuck off, honey You don't know this kid. You don't know this kid. He's gonna get signed. Let him be I got two kids in my own sir I buddy What about me? Oh Kelly I'm sorry Jesus Christ Jim I'm sorry Kelly for still going to want to know if you know about her Absolutely I told you I heard her call to podcast

I thought it was straight-pathic and I mean plenty of her So where can we send our packets? Thank you too Now I don't respect his opinion And do my answer really good fun Colter one of our so we're in the working we send our packets everybody now i don't respect his opinion and you might answer really good for cold day what's his email address that Kelly's trying to get an internship at a possible

shitting committee and Kelly's trying to get the internship backwards back in a friend who is a good network in my i'm sorry about this uh What's up? Anything anything else? No, just call me when you're done. I'll call you I'll call you a little bit brother. We're dropping you from a puzzle. Why? I can't. Did you fuck up right? Is that why you were interesting?

No, this is the race she entered the phone the other day. Apostle. Terzy. Apostle. He said she goes down on. Apostle Terzy Apostle He goes down on oh My acting teacher told me I have that problem to when I used to take acting classes. That's why I don't take them anymore All right, so do Apostle the way you did it yesterday Apostle now do Apostle the way I taught you I can't do it I sort of I try Apostle. That's great. That was great to do Yeah, because you're fucking an evil woman inside

Apostle this is right him. How can I help you? No, let's say your name god forbid That's great. That was great. Yeah, because you're fucking an evil woman inside. That's possible. This is right. Tim, how can I help you? No, I'm not saying your name. God forbid. I'm not used to, I told us to say a puzzle like that. And then who am I speaking with? Then, and then I, I go, is Jim there? She goes, yeah, hang on one second. And she goes, he's not here right now. And I go, who told you that, Molly? She goes, yeah, that's what she said. You know I'm supposed to tell me Because I know you are I know but you're not supposed to rat Molly out you're supposed to protect her

And not but I'm glad you did though you're on my you're a fucking team player. So no the thing is I know you It was someone else. I would have been more professional Molly has no problem fucking lying to me. I I'm kidding. I I'm kidding. it was a joke. What are you making the face? We're on a show talk. What? You're making faces.

I didn't make any faces. You did, you're fucking made faces. Anywho. So, all right, we're gonna wrap this up soon. I mean, I don't know what the fuck else to say. I was talking about Eric about your situation. Before we wrap up, I wanna kinda go through this. The why, why had you guys on here?

Your wife went into labor. 27 hours. 27 hours, and then the baby comes out, you cut the cord. No, they had the vacuum of mine. The baby's still in there? Yeah, the vacuum of mine. They had the vacuum of mine. The picture's coming inside the window.

What are you talking about? He got stuck, she had a small, she had small hips. She had a small vagina? No, not a small vagina. It's hilarious. She actually cracked her tailbone. What? She fucking still feels like she sits down.

She, she, it kills. The fuck kind of kid you got. What do you mean we're kind of kids? Juvenile delinquent breaking shit on the way out. Serletine out. So they had the vacuum of mouth. The doctor was trying to pull him. That's how he pulled on.

Is that why his head's like that? What do you mean his head's fine? I'm kidding. Dude, I'm kidding. There's nothing. I'm so, listen. You patting his head every day just like in round and round. Turn around.

Please. Please don't have a vacuum head. I think I bowling ball all the way on it. What's up? You put him in a pottery spindle. What it? You did your daughter want to come out? No neither both of them had to be we know ironically I want to stay in the end I just pop her head out and lick I like the way it smells Get it both of mine's relate man. They were they had to be induced late really how late we were young

I don't know if it has to do with just being a little bit more. We get it, you young now asshole. How late, like? Don't worry you're like 50. Like three days? Three days late. Yeah, so she had to be induced. How hot?

Oh it's late. It's like, look, late you were. No, my kid. Yeah, no shit, because it's Puerto Rican. It's your kid. Fucking late asshole, you were late for the show today. Push it away, mate. Push it away, push it away. Oh no, my friend, you weren't hurt.

Push it away, shit eyebrows. Fist fight, my eyebrows are beautiful. Bro, bro. He's got better eyebrows. Bro, you do that, I swear to God. Pull that back. I can't reject. I have high five.

I have high five. I'll make you stand, listen. I'm completely a brother. I'll make you stand listen So and yours came a week late 11 days later they have to do they have to do the C session or do And how how how long was she in labor 24 hours 24 hours? I think we were in labor 24 hours Two it just only hurt for a few hours Not even an hour or so before they gave it the epidural. And then it's not, this is the way you think it is. You think it's like this, ready?

The water breaks, she goes into pain, it gets worse and worse and worse, and then the baby comes out. Can't jump, she'll fuck it. Takes her baby out. Yeah, no, it's not. It's so fucking different. I slept too.

It's so bad for me. It's so bad for me. Yeah, I slept. I had a chair, but yours is probably a chair, but you're so small it seemed like a Legs were dangling off easy bang This is great bang I sleep here. This is bad Very nice So how and yours is 24 hours?

But how did yours go the water breaks? Here's fucked up. I I spring my foot in an MMA class the week before So I had a like as I'm trying to like get her like ice chips and shit like that I want crutches the whole fucking time like in brutal pain, right brutal pain So it was really worse for me than it was for her Yeah, you and asshole. I'm just kidding. You know what? There you really I just stop just kidding stop touching the bomb bandana I'm just kidding. You know what, you really, I just, I'm just kidding.

Stop touching the bomb bandana. I, you know what I did that I almost passed myself out because I had two bags. I had the herb, the herb bag with all those shit in it. And it was one of these big UFC duffel bags. And then I had my bag with my iPad and all the, all her other stuff that she needed on both sides of my neck.

So I'm going out and I'm just looking at you too, dude. Go outside. I'm trying to hit on Cabin So I'm going out dancing up a green naked joke. Dude, go outside. I'm trying to hit like a cabin. I'm starting to fucking woozing. Because I cut all the blood off to my brain. I'm just starting going, oh, I go take the bag off. Take the bag off. She's like, what?

I almost passed the fuck out. Because I almost choked myself off. Now, you don't watch any of it. You saw the head and then you stopped watching. I saw the head that said, I didn't want to see any of the, I saw a lot of blood on napkins and shit. But there's the greatest part about it. Anybody who's going to give birth, they, they, they, they, she's basically on a big paper

towel and they keep just replacing the paper towel. There's a nurse there that her job is to clean up the blood, get the stuff out, clean the, because they want it as clean as possible for whatever, because they don't want the baby or the wife to be exposed to these germs so they keep cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning so if you're very really do you see a big mess except at the end when the baby does come out I out of my peripheral I can see you know a lot of dark colors and that's when I didn't look but they clean that up I saw the Jesus Christ Conoration if you're in New York. Yeah

On the baby the baby What's up beautiful baby? We're gonna bless him right now hold the watermelon You start hearing fucking clean clangs of chicken bones In a fucking coke can I was under the exact replica of your fucking baby in doll form. Oh the baby! Did you see the afterbirth? Huh? Well that shit out.

No I didn't look at that. I saw the first one. Yeah because your family needed to grow fruit in the summer. We have to. So the eight before the Hobbit night. Yeah you have to offer that to the bears Your body is shaped like a placenta He's got placenta body really do yeah

Your legs look like the cord And your head looks like the part that attaches to the wall the uterus Oh, he's not even a baby. They threw out the baby in the kept a placenta You know what you're ruin it. We got it. We were all laughing. And everybody was on the floor. And you just got to fucking, I want to do more. I've got pushed them my way for the rest of the show.

I like it. I don't know how I love it. My first one I was panicking. Were you panicking? Ah, yeah, I panicked. Yeah, actually. The second one I was fine for, but. Absually panicked. And then here's the thing, you're, yeah actually. The second one I was fine for, but. Absually panicked.

And then here's the thing, you're in the hospital. And I have to hold the leg, too. You have to learn how to swaddle and change a diaper and burp these nurses. I tell you man, Joe, what is that? Not me. Joe, I don't care. You can't listen.

Homeboy, you won't care. You can't listen. Homeboy, you won't be able to last the rest of the show without talking. You won't, because you don't got, you don't get in yet. There's one thing you love is hearing your shit voice. I don't hear it all over. The way it takes things to file, like everyone just ripe the chick, but you had to kill her. Didn't you?

Don't do rape jokes. Didn't we go through enough of that? I don't need that girl attacking my show So Yeah, that was pretty good tied around the dead tit Look at Rose even boobs She's young as she has had five or seven white gains and white losses just leave me alone No, my kids are amazing. She's sure her body has had five or seven white gains and white losses just leave me alone My kids are amazing. She's young and she has had five or seven white gains and white losses just leave me alone. My kids are amazing.

She's young and she has had five or seven white gains and white losses just leave me alone. My kids are amazing. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn shape-shifted yet. Her body isn shape-shifted yet. Her body isn shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn't shape-shifted yet. Her body isn shape-shifted yet. Her body isn shape-shifted yet No, it looks like a card shark back in like the early 1900s Great little road. Yeah, you guys playing some pogo some five-card stud Every girl has a different size boob not like nothing. Yeah, we know we've seen them. Yeah, we're not one of 12 Okay, fine got it I'm trying to help us sister out over here. Hey, yeah, and that's what we don't like bro We complimented you just take take the compliment, leave, and leave her alone. I'm blessed. Don't ever protect her when we're attacking Kelly. This show was built on her fatness and her shitty tips.

Show them to you later, you can tell the boys I look good. I shall. I think at our 10-year anniversary, Kelly you I get to see your tits I'm gonna when no one's like expecting it. I'm gonna flop out of titt and when you're like not looking Hey, everyone's gonna go oh shit. Oh, they're great. I'm right. You're gonna be what the fuck What the fuck That happens I'll be so miserable That's happened that the second time it, because this other chick came in,

and she whipped out her tit. What's her name? Tatiana. Tatiana. That's right. The best tits I've ever heard. I didn't see him. And I was like so.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I've ever heard before you stepped on it. Was it a joke, everybody? Best tits I've ever heard of. That was a good idea. I like it. That was good.

That was good anyways uh... so so your uh... mister action so then the babies out there in the hospital did you have a private room yeah we had a private room you pay for that now i came with what we could upgrade to a sweet she did you have a baby theater sign on loss angeles and you had a private room you didn't have one right we have a private room

how did you get a private room for You didn't have one right we had a private room Yeah, how'd you get a private room? We paid for it a thousand dollars a night wasn't a thousand right? We were in New York downtown, also, but it was like 400 night. How was yours? No, no split room I told my wife a go look you want a private room we get with thousand dollars a night cash You didn't you didn't walk around a year Apple trick. Well, here's a thing No, that wasn't gonna work. I trust me. I was at Roosevelt Thousand dollars a night cash, and I go, honey, if you want the room, we just get the room. That's it, she goes, I don't want that.

She goes, I want you, I don't want to spend that fucking money that's ridiculous to me, that they're doing, that it aggravated her, that they would have to do that. And then she goes, and plus, you get to go home, you're gonna walk the dogs, you'll be able to be home for a little bit, get some sleep. I'll get some sleep, the baby will be in the nursery. You know, if you're there, and we get a go home, you're gonna walk the dogs, you'll be able to be home for a little bit, get some sleep. I'll get some sleep, the baby will be in the nursery. You know, if you're there and we get a private room,

you're gonna be there with me, you know, the baby's gonna be there, it's gonna be good. Oh, so you went home. I went, I had to go home. You're really bad, fuck. I'll tell you, I'm gonna tell you why, watch this. 10, 30 at night, all the fathers have to leave. And I'll tell you why.

Unless you have a private room. No. Yes, unless you have a private room. Yeah, that's right. It's about the night. You know why? And, you know why? you have a private room. No. Yes, unless you have a private room. Yeah, that's right. It's about the night. Do you know why? You know why?

Because somebody was diddling women coming in and fucking sexually assaulting women while they were sleeping. Allegedly! Lewis can't talk about it right now. I'm going through some proceedings. So, I went home too. I went home and jerked off when I'm in jerked off Here's okay hang on now. How long after?

Stop stop we're gonna get to this how long stop banging your feet you fucking gorilla I know you do bang your hands on the wall and maybe hit your own head So um, how long? Okay? I mean I get I got I want to answer this honestly, okay, and I want So, how long? Okay. I mean, I got to, I want to answer this honestly. Okay, and I want, I want to answer this honestly. I think it was, I think it was the day my kid was born. Yeah. I think this is the day, the day my kid was born, when I got to go home that night,

I think it was the, I think when I got to go home that night. I think it was the I think when I took a shelf that night because I hadn't I hadn't busted a nut and so long and I was so stressed. I tried to make it like this is gonna help. Like releasing my gizz was gonna help but the way I jerked off and what I was jerking off to it was so sad to me that I felt bad. I felt bad as I was coming. As I was coming, I was like, my son's got such a shit dad. But how long did it take for you, Lou?

I'm like, I jerked off in the hospital because I was there. During the birth. Wait minute dude listen to me stop Where's the father? Okay, we need you to hold I use a baby what I can't watch a woman put her fingers in my chick and not crank when I can when this fucking goo and blood coming out of it and also that goo in the bathroom I jerked off with my baby's

police and talk to jerked off in front of me just sitting there I don't know what gets you off me I don't go walk one on the bathroom there's evil thoughts inside of you why do you have a attacker? I'm a attacker she attacked me I'm a attacker alright go ahead I swung back you jerked off in the bathroom inside of you why do you have a tucker and a tucker she attacked me i don't like i had

a small back you just you jerked off in the bathroom yeah the night she was giving birth or after the after the baby was born or during no during you did not did not have during the actual like labor part like during like her contract actually came to the head wasn't coming out of the moment she's

i need to get the straight so she she her water she they put her into labor Her water. I don't know. I don't remember exactly when they broke her and be out of Sack during the proceedings you were like She's in the other room in pain Yeah, and you go in and jerk off wow Yeah, wow that's a fucking test your relationship. I don't I don't know whether to bow to you or kick you out of my life I don't know what to do to you right that bad. Is it really that good?

Dude you left your wife and fucking pain dude. What am I supposed to do? Sibar fucking side the whole time Abs of fucking yes 30 You never left your wife's side never Not a second jerk off the bathroom one time. No, I waited at least the kid was born Did you use your phone and porn or did you know it's one thoughts? What did you think about how did you turn off your wife giving birth in the or have being in labor in the other room?

Shut that part of your brain off that And then her moaning, how can you really come close? Yeah, she was mining in the next round. I just, it's just a match. I can't believe it, man. I can't believe that. And while she's in labor, you said, I'm gonna go fucking handle business. I don't know whether you are my fucking hero or you're just a piece of garbage.

Yeah, I don't know, come on out. Dude, hold on. Like honestly, at that point, it is literally at the most animalistic level I just got to get it out of it. No you don't get it. You don't because what happened? I'm like listen you don't get sick if you don't jerk off. Yeah But you know so rub against my jeans and they were very tight at that point What are you?

12? Don't throw a fat face and the tip of my going I'm losing weight lose and wait the with shake go mez is She said not Is the wing All right, all right, you know when you're kind of like turned on and we know we know we know like roughance that your pants Well, you know you listen I know but the thing is not during labor Yeah, how you get on jerk off during look at don't cheer up during, look it, right before,

right after I might be like, but she's in the room, in the hospital. You're not even supposed to eat. I think I went home and this is before DVD days or laptops and all that shit, so I had to go home and put up. How old are you, 80? I'm DHS.

My kid was born in Betamax. The first one was in 1996. When did you jerk off 1996 no, I'm talking about when was it remember second she was born so no what how long after the kid was born that night when I went that night When you went home popped in a VHS and jerked off Tommy was lesbian porn. Tell me it was lesbian hang on one second Hang on one second Eric. When did you, how soon asked? It was a week. You waited a week? Because how long did you know? What happened was, I was, that was not because of the gentleman. You didn't want to catch that rash of this dirt. I was in the hospital.

I was in my wife in the hospital. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about my mom. What does that say, what is that stuff when you kids face? It was just, come on. What was it? It was just a, it's a skin.

It was a little rassy from coming out. Okay, I'm just asking. That's coming. It's like, why'd you take a picture of it? It was just a skinny little rashi from coming out. Okay. I'm just ask that's coming It's like why do you take a picture of I took a picture of him. Why does he's wait? Doreable to me. All right. No, he's gorgeous dude. He's cool. I'm not a lot of thing at our house. I feel itchy Wash I want you that microphone washed Pierrot D. Louse I want you that microphone washed Pirod D-Low That's good. You got your hair gel in your kids face So yeah my mother-in-law was staying with us and then I was at the hospital so a week later I was on the road and

You're on the road and and and where were you middling? Yeah, I'm headlining in Chicago. Chicago? Yeah, Chicago. What club? I was actually this guy. He's a's a promoter does like random shows you're headlining a guy no sky read the does a little shows around and that's when you jerked off with no okay now we all know we all know that look i'm fucked up only fucked up you are not as fucked up

louis is whoo louis is you're a fucking just a piece of the right that's like i think i'm as fucked up Lewis is who Lewis is you're a fucking just a piece of Like that's like I think I'm so fucked up that going beyond now good now, dude. You're fucking evil You know that I had him change yourself off to the other side. Yeah So no, what did you jerk off to? Probably just regular old school DVD porn mean a VHS porn. What did you jerk off to? Probably just regular old school DVD points, I mean a VHS points. What did you jerk off to? Internet porn.

I don't even know what I was doing. I remember dude, I was just like I'm here. What did you jerk off to? The smell of the hospital. What did you jerk off to? Come on, honestly. I just thought I don't know. What thoughts?

What pizza? A swing set. What did you jerk off to? You know, I think me and my chicken. I can't go in a cheater. I'm going to Montreal or You're getting you're getting a deal And a manager Jim

I'm gonna calm I'm glad you believe in me That's all you need is somebody to believe in you the way you believe in yourself. I'm coming up, you. Give it to your warm hands. Lewis, this is Robbie from Montreal. You did it. Like a pesdist pencil. Right out.

Hello, Lewis. This is SD. Can you do for me, third? This is intelligent, low-end now. Go ahead. I don't know who any of these people are. Shut up. Listen, so you, what did you jerk off to?

What was it? I don't want to be the first son. Come on, son. I remember. You already told us, though. What is it? Some past fucking... What was it?

I don't remember the thought. Robert? No, I don't know either. I don't either. It's a smell of blood. You do remember it. I don't remember the thought Robert I don't know neither I don't either You do remember I really want to know it's a girl. I was in my shower and she was She it was this girl from a long time ago Very long time ago from the South beautiful girl, okay, and. And she knew, the scenario was that she knew that I, what just happened, like my kid was my most,

and she came over and just go look, I'm just gonna, I know you're gonna need this. And I sat down in the shower and she sucked my nuts and sucked my dick and jerked me off and I came. That's awesome. Yeah, that was a good one. That's vivid. And then she was like, all right, I'll let you go. And she left. It was almost like a favor. Yeah, like enjoy

parenthood. Yeah, it was almost like, look, I know, I know you're gonna need this. So the next few things are gonna be brutal to those girls. I'm getting full just think of it. But you know, I'm saying, what if I have one of those girls that would like back in the day, they're not back in the day. They would do that. It would just talk just suck your dick. They still girls that would do that. You're just not looking for them anymore, dude. Listen, you're not putting the effort into...

I love that you pushed the microwave. Listen, they're still there. You can do it if you want. If that's what you want. When I was a kid, I used to put it like, when you were 21 years old, that's the energy you put out. You're like suck my dick in the bathroom energy Yeah, but you can still do that there's girls. It's still a sucky dick look at girls are like guys

They like this girls that love sucking dick too. Okay, and that don't want consequences You know what I mean? It's like fuck it. I'll suck you dick. I like sucky dick Let me suck you dick and then you done boom move on. There's it's out there. You're just not looking for it You're not looking for it because you have responsibilities now. You have too much shit to worry about and do. You're not looking for the random blowjob, you know what I mean? And this is what I think too. I think that when you have a son,

there's a certain party that doesn't want your son to be disappointed in you later. It's like, let me deal with this shit now. I don't really want my son to find out That I'm a piece of shit like that. You know what I mean? Fuck it I just I want to give him the my responsibility to my son is to make sure that he has a great self-esteem That he built that he just gives a shit about himself. I think that's the greatest thing you can give a kid I mean yeah, you want to make him smart and intelligent I'm not so I'm gonna send him to school, the best schools I can, and try to do the best,

but I want my kid to have a good self-esteem. I want him to fucking be cool with himself. Yeah, that's what I mean. Isn't it something that like changing you though now? Like it's a really weird thing, and I don't have a family at all, but I think even if you do, it is. When you have a kid, it's just a whole other level

of caring about something. Like I would fucking, I mean, somebody tried, like I always like fantasize about some dude coming up and just trying to like fucking hit my kid. And I triangle, troke. Like no, I would fucking, I would kill a motherfucker with my bare hands. Yeah. I try, I do think about, but I try not to think about that because the consequences of that slippery slope of that rage, I'm trying to go the other way. I'm trying to think of this

Being with this guy and being with my wife and I don't have to think about protecting him because I know I would Once I start for those fantasies of somebody touching my kid a fucking with my wife and my family and I'll slice this throat I'm in that shitty world and I don't want to be in that shitty world anymore. That's an old place that I went where it fuel it keeps the rage and the anger and the fear is what it really is. It keeps the fear alive and I don't want that fear alive. I don't want it around. I want to live in the moment of the kid. I want to be able to walk away from fucked up situations because it's not worth it to me. Because I'll tell you a scenario, you ready?

The day the night my kid came home, I'm walking my dogs at 12.30. I'm on the phone with Kathy telling her about the kid and all that. I explained to her what happened and how it was and she's trying to have a baby blah blah. I had my dogs. I wasn't paying attention. The homeless guy, black dude, walking down.

He hit one of my dogs. He bumped into it. I don't know what he did. I heard my dog yelp and I fucking snapped. You motherfucker. What the fuck? You hit my dogs and he came back at me. What the fuck, man? I was like, fuck you. You fucking, you don't fucking kick somebody. I didn back at me with the fuck man. I was like fuck you you fuck you know fucking kick somebody's I didn't kick your fucking dogs man I didn't and I was like you fucking and we just went back and forth He was rageful and I was rageful. I'm it just the end word. I didn't I didn't

Here I'll tell you what happened which was scary which was how people are I'm yelling at him and then I snapped. I snapped. I don't know how to, I can just, I just went, I will fucking tell you! I will fucking murder you! That just blew out everyone's ears. But I know, I can't listen to the podcast. Not us.

That's the rage level, but even more than that. That's where I went to. I lost it, because my dogs, my son, my wife, is my family. I fucking, if I had a bat, if I had a blade or a gun, I would have sliced this fucking head off and thrown it in a barrel. I made that point all the time when I was out. Let me finish.

I wanna just go through this scenario. And then you, we went back and forth, and then he said, you know, he actually said, you shouldn't have been on the fucking phone Pay attention to your fucking dogs and I went he's fucking right He's absolutely fucking right. I'm on the phone. I got my little dogs in Manhattan midtown New York City 1230 at night this fucking idiot who I who I should be aware of

Bumps into one of my, and I'm fucking, now my life is on the line, his life is on the line. My fear came true because I festeted it, and it was always there that this is what I'm gonna do if somebody fucks with my, and it happened, and now it was to the point where I'm gonna need to have to fucking hurt this guy, bad. I'm gonna have to fucking hurt this guy bad I'm gonna have to hurt him to where he's not he's not conscious and I'm gonna have to call 911 Well in ambulance or he's gonna really hurt me

That's not the way you commit crimes, but listen But he that's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna have to fucking do that someone's the only way this is ending is if someone gets hurt And then he goes you're just fucking with me because I'm black, because you don't like black people, because you're a racist motherfucker. That's what he said. He made it, he literally, I don't know where made it that he's black

and I don't like black people, okay? And he's like, and I was like, you're a fucking, you're a fucking lunatic. You're a fucking nuts. And I was like, you're a piece of shit. For even fucking, for even saying it. And he's like, yeah, you don't like niggas. That's what he says to me. I can't and I was like you're a piece of shit for even fuck if even saying it He's like yeah, you don't like niggas. That's what he says to me I go for the fact that you say that you're just a piece of shit to yourself

I go I go you don't even know who the fuck I am he goes you don't know the fuck I am you're just ray He just starts screaming I'm a racist at the top of his lungs and I'm like you know what? I'm this guy's a fucking psychopath. For someone to do that, to use the race card against me, or to use it, like, you save that shit for a real racist. You just brought it up just to win the fucking argument, just to make me look bad,

because you kicked a fucking animal, and you got called on it and you didn't say. Now here I am, someone's about to get hurt and my superintendant who's this Russian lady who could probably break both of our necks. Little wee walks up, Bubby, you know what that you have, baby boy, bliss, let's go. And she, I'm like, you know what, fuck it. I got back into my house and I was, I wanted, I was like, what know what? Fuck it. I got back into my house and I was I wanted I was like what the fuck am I doing? He's a crying to the shower Both of them. Well here it is. Well here it is. Come to those

Mental places in your brain where you start to now think of everything around you and things were It's I I punch him he falls hits his head on something dies. I'm going to jail for murder Well, that's it. No, there's no well manslaughter's loader. It doesn't it doesn't matter. I'm done. My my kid is life is fucked. He hits me. He hits me. I get hurt. My wife is fucked. My wife comes out and sees that. She gets her. I mean, who the fuck knows? It's just there's not worth it. Not one second of its worth it. No, the only time it's worth it is if this guy was I was with my wife and my kids,

or he came back and attacked my dog. He kicked my dog a little bit, okay? If he was beating my dog, I'll fucking murder him. If he said, touch my wife, I'll murder him. Anything else is not, it doesn't matter. It's not worth it. And it made me go back in and look at this kid and go, I have to change.

I can't live in that fear. And it's fear. I was afraid that somebody would fuck with my dogs. I'm afraid that somebody will fuck with my kid and my wife. And I'm always on that fucking, I'm gonna kill you. And when it happens, I just snap. That guy could have took out a fucking knife

and just cut my throat and shot me. Like, we're in New York. It happened, I mean, what the fuck? Huh? Oh, it could it shot me too also But now where I am, you could have shot me stand. I had a bayonet And my kids are older now. It's like at this point now I'm like all the things I'm not in control of which is them being out there. You wait There's sexuality

My sugar intake who your wife bangs Sorry, I have that was the point. Which I can control things like your hair. Yeah, choice of clothing. Yeah, your shiny forehead. That awful good tea. Your shitty tattoos. You guys have been harboring just the whole time.

All right, listen. I mean, do you understand what I'm saying, though, Lewis? Look, I know that you don't have that in you. You have a very good temperament, Eric, Eric does. And only you have a temper, you have a good temperament. Lewis, you're the same as me. We're the same mother fucker. And it's scary to me.

I am not passing my fear when I got hit and hurt and abused as a child turned into rage to protect myself. It became about respect and fear. That's all my anger is, and that's what that was with this guy. I should have went, what the fuck? And went back in the house. I was on the phone, not paying attention. And this fucking asshole caught me.

I should have fucking, oh fuck, and got the fuck out of there. I'm not throwing it all away for a piece of shit going through garbage. That's why I have a lot of money. And I'm not passing it on to my kid. I am not passing fear onto my kid. I want him to have good self-esteem, and I know he's gonna go through life. I know he's gonna get fucked up,

but I'm not passing rage onto my kid, dude. And you shouldn't either. No, I don't think I am. You should listen to me. I'm telling you, dude, you have to ignore, look at you, getting mad right now. You want to hurt something. The sun is at least going to yell at you.

I'm not yelling at my, and it's not what you're dogs. My wife said, honey, don't yell at the dogs. And I don't, I'm like, you're right. I don't want to yell at her. I don't want to fucking yell at anybody, because it's all, it's little years, in years. It really does teach you patience. I'm way more patient now that I have a kid Then I ever was before I had a kid. Yeah, you know, but I have this little this little weapon that Dante nearer bought me

What is it? It's a weapon. It's called a monkey fist Basically a ball bearing it around inside of like a special knot and it's great The way the way they came up with it, it's, it's a, listen up anybody who wants a Rob Lewis here so you can take them out. It's a way, it's a way to get a monkey fist to anchor rope. So what they would do is they was like on ships,

like in the 1800s, these sailors would take him into fucking ports and they just get drunk and they beat the shit out of each other with these little ball bearings. So I saw a Dante had, and he bought me one because I thought it was so cool. Dante doesn't need a monkey fist. No, he need a monkey fist

I got a gorilla hand I'm gonna silver back all right hang on Jesus Christ. I mean what the fuck and nine fucking black jokes in a row I make more an ape joke than black Jesus Christ Jesus Christ. Patata Patata. All right, so patata patata. Right that down ass face. So, dude, he bought this thing for me and there's so much power in it, dude, because it's this little thing, you could pull it out, somebody fucks with you, you could just smack

them in the head, just break their eye socket. Easy, dude. All right, I know. I had it on me. Okay. There was at least four situations over the course of a month where I just like pull it out and I had it at my side. What do you mean, give me one. I was at least four situations over the course of a month where I just like pull it out and I had it at my side What do you mean? Give me one? I was at the UFC event

We were coming out and this dude was I was really drunk too. So I was yelling like a knock just shit Like going to the train after the UFC event. I was just yelling about how Cheyenne got robbed That was an early stoppage. So this one guy was just drunk and he did he was actually on chill side He wanted to yell the wind too. He's like, I listen. I can't listen. Give me another example because this on chill side he wanted to go to win to I listen I can't listen give me another example because this one is just stupid well give me I mean dude I was yelling crazy fuck you give me another one all right I was at a bar with Dave Smith and Aaron Burr

do you have one where you're sober yeah because all these you deserve a beating and I was walking my dogs talking to a friend about my child and somebody kicked my little dog I'm talking about where you you don't deserve and I fucking cracking dumb head shit This guy bump my friend Aaron And then Aaron's like yeah, this guy's bump me dude. I was like you should fucking say something What the fuck's wrong with the guy? He was like wait till we leave wait till we leave

I'm a little monkey fist out already so as we're leaving He was like it's the guy in the red sweater dude Aaron shoulder bumps the guy in the red sweater and the guy took what the fuck bro So we all like getting his face and dude I got this thing. I'm about to fuck it I'm about to use this thing. I'm insane. We go outside Aaron goes like dude. I think I bumped the wrong dude We're about to jump a dude that wasn't even this the right dude, dude see I'm not talking about jumping people I've changed I didn't kill him I'm talking about I have a fear of being hurt by people, or somebody hurting people I love,

and I violently will fucking hurt them to not hurt people. And it's just, yeah, you're talking about mugging people. You're talking about alcoholism and violence. The waitress got my order wrong, I pulled out my monkey fist. I didn't have enough money from the metro card, and I saw this Mexican dude in an Elmo outfit, so I pulled out my monkey fist.

Hey, guys, I didn't hit him. I didn't. I did it. I walked on. The point is that I started leaving it at home because I don't want to put myself in that scenario where I want to pull out my monkey fist. You have to have to talk to yourself, where I'm like, guys. I'm responsible. I'm gonna leave it home from now on because I'm a man

Well, I gave it my check. She can use it. I take out I take out my my Jack with what's the one with the you hit it? Yeah, what is it called the Billy Jack or whatever? I know I take it I take it. Why do you need to carry these things around? You know like I live in large Because we don't live in fucking really big homes You know, like, I live in large cities. Because we don't live in fucking really big homes. All right, we live, I live in Hell's Kitchen, okay? And when I walk out at night, I don't have a driveway and a nice wooded area behind my house. I live here now and like I walk out.

What do you live? St. Mark's with you in first and a. You'll be attacked. What apartment? Listen. No, I just, I don't get why, I mean, I get it. You will, you will. Wait, how long. What apartment? Listen. No, I just I don't get why I mean, you will, you will. Wait, how long you been here? Two years. Yeah, you will. You will. Some will happen. You'll be I just don't like to fight back. Look at I I'm I'm looking, you're

absolutely right. You should always walk the fuck away. You're your parents are absolutely fucking right. It's not worth it. Get the. That's not worth it. Crazy out there is going to pull a knife at you. You don't do this. I'm on give best. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And it's just, I take full responsibility. I take full responsibility. I believe it's fear and I believe,

look, this guy's a coward for kicking a dog and not saying sorry. I think he did, because he had way too much space or he might have been drunk or high and whatever it was. I was, I just, my anxiety and my rage for months and my fears came out and right in his, like a laser beam in his face.

You could have joked off during labor. And on that note, we're the fuck out of here. You guys, thank you so much for coming in. I hope you guys liked this episode. Lewis, I'll do all the shift for you. Well, I'll be in Toronto. Oh, wait, this is gonna be Toronto for them Thursday through Sunday North by Northeast festival, baby God I'm gonna be in Toronto too at the just for last festival in July All right, so good. Well, we'll take care of you to fly right? Well only coming to okay only what do you got?

All right, so good. Well, we'll take care of you get a fly right well only coming to okay only what do you got? Just the clubs in the city man Eastville and check out my website only Perez dot com awesome. What do you got Eric? I just take our site Eric Rivera dot com ERI K Rivera Okay, all that awesome and Lewis is gonna be with us good Box was June 27th 20th 29th foxes casino And the don't get the nasty show on the Saturday night. It's full shows, bye-mong line. Me, Kelly, and Lewis, Jay Gomez, and who else who knows who's gonna show up? There might be a couple of special guests

on Saturday night. So buy your tickets now, spread the word, get people to go. Let's pack this place out as much as we can. And I'm gonna be at Just For Laffes and July, shut the fuck up. I'm gonna be just for Laffes, for laughs lose just go do you have to just enter well he's coming

he's grabbing his fucking his alibi rinsek he's grabbing his seal bag his grand his grandfather's grandfather made that on an island come on do do do do uh... you know that's it On an island come on dude dude dude dude Oh, that's it Clean that up with water you're just a hurry up focus stop trying to fucking recover verbally

Can you help him clean up? I so here it is. I want to thank Roteem row as we call her for being here and interning and helping us out with everything. Make sure you go to riotcast.com, listen to all the shows. We have 12 of the funniest shows on the internet. It's one of the greatest podcast networks on the East Coast. In the world, fuck it, I'll say it, hilarious shows. Please check them out. And also, make sure that you go to robbercaliolive.com for all my dates.

I'm doing just for laughs in July. I'll be up there for the nasty show. I actually have my own one minute show, my hour show. I have two of them. Hour shows just me at a small theater up there and also gonna be doing, you know what, to live. I think Colin Quinn's gonna be there Pete Corielli. We have a bunch of people that are going to be on the show. We're doing, you know what did in Montreal and I'm also going to be in the Toronto Just For Laugh. I'm so excited for that. So I'm doing the same thing, show and the podcast. So please go to my website and go to JustForLafs.com, find my shows, find where I'm going to be, buy tickets, spread the word, support us live.

I also wanna thank you guys so much, all of you people who purchased Kif's off Amazon off the registry from BabyMax and all your kind words. And I really, it means a lot to me that you guys were so great with that. You were very respectful and awesome. I appreciate that. I appreciate all the inspirational, you know, whatever, you know what I'm saying. You guys are the

shit. You guys are really great. The fans of this podcast are awesome. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming up to me and let me know that you listen on the streets or after shows. Everybody who's on here, that you come up to us and say, a fan of the podcast, really appreciate that. And that's it. I appreciate you guys so much. And especially during this last couple of weeks with Baby Max coming into the world. So that's it.

You guys are awesome. I'm out. Good bye. You're starting to stinkin' stinkin' You know what I'm deady I'm stuck in the fog, I'm stuck in the fog, I'm gone You know what I'm deady I'm in this fog, I'm sorry, I'm sorry You know what I'm deady Really dear, really, really Don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my face, don't stop filming my Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan.

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