Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Welcome to America, Let Me Smell Your C**t

Episode Date: October 1, 2012

Comedians Yannis Pappas and Luis J Gomez join YKWD, and the introduction of Kelly's sister. @YannisPappas @LuisJGomez RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Ma mal, a Madrid. in all your devices. Plus, this is Dennis Liri.

This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? This is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what you're getting? Oh

No, not a comic. Here we are We are the show is fucking live. Oh boy. All right. Hey guys want to put your headphones on and join the fucking show Instead of fucking trying to get in at the fucking stand on his poppers Dude, I like fucking bread is that what you put it I'll take bread you breathe air so do I all right here's what there's what to do we're gonna go around the room we're gonna switch it up eating just a ball of bread that's good when we start to show that's always good for radio audio have put shit in your mouth and chew it into the microphone it's more natural apparently you're not a headline and comedian around the country and you haven't done much radio

Good for you That's actually a good thing All right, here we go Welcome to the you know what dude podcast and blah Blah blah for the rest to my left we have sub blue shay go mess hammer fishing podcast go mess comedy dot com twitter dot com

slash blue shay go mess you really are just a fucking smick uh... you know this episode you really are just a spick alright i love every podcast does that too.

You think we always thought we were so original and we did that but every show goes, dude that's the name of the show! That's the name of the show! Fucking sizzle dicks! Dude, coffee, bean, ice coffee is the best, it's the name of the show. To the left of fucking... Just a fucking speak. I'm kidding, not just a speak. That's what I left. We have

the Greek God, the fucking five o'clock shadow, the fucking the nerd with hair. How you doing everybody? Janus Papas. Boom, boom. To his left. We have one of the co-owners of the stand. A Jew among Jews. Happy Yom Kippur. Well, can I say some?

The reason he's doing this right now is because he still doesn't remember your name, Dave. I swear to God, that's the reason he's doing this. I know him. I've known him longer than I've known you, dummy. Absolutely. Every time last time he was on, I know his fucking name. I invited him on and I've known him longer than I've known you dummy every time last time he was on I know his fucking name I invited him on and I've known him longer than I've known you. What's his last name? Oh, no, it's last name Oh, it's um, it's a really long

Juicy it's a jui fucking long Now to jui last name you want me to tell you yeah go ahead Kimowitz. Yeah, I forget that but I know it's fucking name Yeah, say your last name again. Kim always. And you are the owner of the stand. One of the one of the owners. One of the owners. Not a, not a, what do they call those in the biz? Jews. GM. General man. GM, you fucking son of a bitch. And then to his left we have Kelly's sister, get on the mic sweetie, get over here, get the fuck on the mic. Get over here. Wow, she's hot. By the way, we're calling her hot Kelly. My God, that's what we're calling her. Alright, this is Kelly for Stucco's sister. What's your name? I don't know, you know, what's your name? Really? Joanne, how

old are you, Joanne? How old are you? how old are you your older than Kelly see like 32 34 35 how old you just say you're 34. I Want to divorce my wife and become part of the fucking shitty Australian family No because Kelly is hot, but I can't get past her bloody asshole Visually in my head, I'll never get out. Even if me and Kelly, we were all of a sudden, we would naked out on it. All of a sudden, just picture is like,

as soon as we were done, she'd get up and there'd just be a puddle of blood from her asshole. And she'd be going, sorry, sorry, Bubby? Bubby, I'll clean it up, Bubby. I'm sorry, and I'd be like, I just throw up on it. Why, why, you, I'll clean it up Bobby. I'm sorry and I'd be like I just throw up on I have I have an I used to have an anal phischer You have to get on the microphone get yeah, get right in An anal phischer is a tear that happens in your anal cavity

Yeah, we have but see this is great. This is the way she's reacting. That's the way I react to Kelly. I'll tell you what she's reacting like. She has no idea what the fuck's going on with it. We know so much about your sister. She's reacting like a human being. Okay, we're all desensitized creeps. I can talk about her beautiful girl's bloody asshole for fucking hour and a half for seven

episodes. This she's a human. So she made you on board, but bloody asshole. No, that's redraw the line. Okay, she's a female with a bloody asshole. I'm on board. If I cause that, you're on board. She's negative, make a positive, you're honest. Okay. As long as my thumb and full finger cause that, fucking crevice. Oh boy.

Yeah, you're going to put it in. I'm going to write that stuff. So, and then to her, we have the lovy Kelly for Stu. Oh boy. Yeah, you're gonna put it in. So and then to her we have the lovely Kelly. And we have five o'clock Phil, five o'clock shadow Phil is here with his fucking Jesus. Do you ever shave? Doesn't really you and Janice should start a thing a comedy trip called like the Beards of Comedy or all that's already done. Sorry. status a comedy trip called like the Beards of Comedy or all that's already done sorry Eastern you're we just have it like we look like bad guys in a Will Smith movie or swarming

Beards of Comedy store you guys look like that you look like the terrorist that delete actress Fox You know what I mean? Yeah, you're not too fucking Arab. Yeah, you know those two Arab Yeah, like you like skin air. Yeah, like somebody, somebody, your great-grandmother fucked a German. A lot enough to be attractive. Not as like, he's like the good guy, the whole movie, but then at the end, you find out he's actually a terrorist.

That's like the twist. Kinda like this podcast. I don't know. He could be occupant in the jobs under study. I see it. Now the eyebrow's kind of scream-greek though. Yeah. And the little eyes, the little eyes, like great-

The gritty, imbred eyes. Yeah, you do a little eyes, like... A greedy, impred eyes. Yeah, you do. You scream, your pizza has hard crust. Take your glasses off. But you have to take your glasses off, you guys. Everything must have green on it. Yeah. Greeks just gotta stop making pizza.

Well, you know what? Greek pizza is, it's good, but it's definitely different than regular pizza. It's very hard crust. I like my pizza authentic. Mexicans making it. That's not like... Oh, so you like tacos? Oh, fuck.

Not a big New York city, that's all who's making pizza nowadays. Mexicans. Is it really a Greek pizza that they own? They start known pizza, especially outside New York. They own a lot of... Boston, a lot of Greek, you know the difference between a Greek pizza place and a regular Thai pizza place. Wow, it seems like...

It's thick cheese on it. It's a thin crust. Yeah, not a lot of sauce. Not much care, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But they got, I mean, I like it. I like it, but it's hard as fuck. I mean, you'll chip a tooth on that shit. Yeah, it's like the Acropolis.

I'm sorry, the Acropolis overbur... What is it called? Was it a fucking shitty fucking thing called? Acropolis. Acropolis. I put fucking, I put it backwards and put it together again and then fire right now all right all right all right listen man I'm fucking I'm glad you hear what you name again Joanne beautiful in shape woman never

had a bloody asshole normal size shoulders hang on let me take that let me take that back never had a constant bloody asshole. Because I don't know who she is or what she likes sexually. I think we've all had a bloody asshole. Some time. Everybody who's never wiped their ass and saw blood. I only wet my ass till I see blood every time. That's why I know it's clean.

It's your man. I don't like that forced joke, but was good one. I only what is this? Fucking Hollywood squares I want I want to show Yannis one of our fans Behind me. I saw Kelly sent me a text with it on it. We got to get you a photo with you in it. That's great Hey, wait the clothes! That loves to close. So how long you in America for?

Two weeks. Really? Are you staying with Kelly? Yes. Sorry. I know. I don't know. I don't know.

I hope I go on vacation. You got my pad. Oh, man. Oh, that'd be great. Oh boy. I'd let you assist a bag in my house. I'm not letting a bag in my house i'm not a bad guy did you guys have a full-around together sexual i thought you can't see that i can't

see the more you know i'm just asking a simple question sometimes it's true it's so easy to forget like your your traumatizing i've been trying to see i gave my sister a couple swipes maybe when I was- Yeah, yeah, yeah! Listen, have you guys ever watched each other bad? No, no, no. No, let me finish. Don't be perverted.

What? That's perverted. They accidentally fucking with down each other as little girls experimenting. That's the fucking life. But her watching her fucking other guy, that's just dirty. I'm talking science. That twins, you live with the playboy mansion.

You're just fine. Anyway, was that bad? No, no. Kelly, you're nervous. You're nervous. I'm not, not I'm fine. A little bit. No, I'm just protective.

Will you take your glasses off when you're nervous? No, I'll check them off because I'll pinch my ears because of the headphones. OK, so now you're here for how long, sweetie? Two weeks. Two weeks. Thank you're nervous. No, I check him off because I'm pinching my ears because of the headphones. Okay, so now you're here for how long, sweetie? Two weeks. Two weeks. Thank you Kelly. Okay, so that's not happy, but you still in my room. That's the how much the paperboy was owed and better off dead, by the way. Two weeks. Nobody? Nothing? All right. I've got no furniture. She was a bit surprised when she came to my room. Yeah, so how do you like sleeping on a Japanese wood floor? I'm gonna fix her room up.

Really? Yeah. What are you gonna do? I'll just clean it. Is it a disaster? Yeah. So you didn't clean up your sister was coming, you stabbed it. I don't have any furniture to hang anything anyway, so I just have piles.

I just shit everywhere. What do you mean? Garbidger, just close. No, it's actual piles of shit everywhere. I just picked something over for sure. I just shit. I shitbed. What do you mean? No, it's actual piles of shit Yeah, I just didn't better kick it out with my foot. How many pockets? How many little bags of food have you felt like little bags of loneliness that you find after a shitty set no dick No boyfriend Just a little bag of fucking candy.

I had candy for breakfast. What? I can't believe you fucking didn't bring food. You know what? We'll get back to you. Yeah, we'll get there later. He bought the bread round things. I could have fucking made those.

I'm very disappointed myself. So we're getting to you. We'll fucking attack you. And we're getting to, I just want to know, are you married? Kind of. What's with a weird rules you guys have for marriage in your country? To go, really? No, I'm not married. You're not married. You have a boyfriend though. That's what you're saying. Is he from Australia? Yes. Boo.

Do you cheat on him? No. Yes you do. No. How are you going to do it this week? This is like Vegas. What's day's here? It's day's here.

You would never cheat on your guy in, let me finish. If you're a New York City, you drink in your party and you're not, no one knows nothing. And this guy wants to start to kiss you a little bit. Yeah, a little kiss you a little bit. Not. Like this. How about this? Oh, no, no, no.

Not, not. He'd be a crape. Really? What if he wanted to just crush your hair and go, you're so beautiful, whatever happens, happens, whatever doesn't happen. He can tie up, buddy. He can't tie up. Really? Can I smell your chair?

Jesus Christ. That's creepy. You know, I'm trying to take it there in a fucking cool creative way. Oh, it's there at a 60. And you just go right there. I'm like, I was getting to finger popping. I'm, I don't hold back my fucking foot. I'm really, I realized it.

I remember, really? I remember, I remember, I remember, I fucking walked to I say blood. Yeah, so So you so you definitely not so around you're not hooking up with anybody not even like a Sandra D thing No sucks for everybody Well, we some of the first American guys you've met yeah Yeah, that's my right. I'm fast Can I spill your chair?

What you're gonna smell like lady That's gonna be a morboro in a bun wager I'm a self-made American. I want to smell that cut lady We'll talk about the name of the podcast. I want to smell that content We'll talk about the name of the podcast. I want to smell that con Chair is probably one of the most creepy shit Welcome to America guys. Meliocon It is the best sentence I've ever

That's the way he coming to America should have started First thing Eddie Murphy should have heard Jesus Christ First thing Eddie Murphy should have heard Cry he's barely up the plane and Louis's fucking waiting for to go to the bathroom so you can get a Kind of sniffing step on her wood chair flush the toilet. I'll be right here Did you prepper it off with this Kelly? I told her I said you're gonna have a hard time Get your cut ready She teaches the teachers you She teaches like a Catholic school. Isn't that what you call the kids in Australia? No, that's England. You're fucking moron.

Sorry, I don't know, dude. You don't know what fucking television, life, movies, who turned the lights off? Dude, that joke would have worked if you didn't turn the lights off. I refuse to take the band-in or on that one. Where is the band-in? It's a compliment in Scotland. Well, it should be on it after that.

So listen, sweetie, welcome to America. Thank you for being on the show. I hate your fucking country. Not because of the country or the people, I love the people, but your accent should be a fucking band. Should be abolished. You should be, you should be, you should, you should be a whimp off. You should be you should be you should you should

you should you should be taught to speak like any other like Puerto Rican accent would be better. Oh fuck you that's sexy as shit. I couldn't imagine I couldn't imagine fucking an Australian girl and I would want to fucking just put duct tape on her mouth. What do you say? Like, I like it. I love your balls, it's my vagina, in my tank. It is a bit goofy of an act. It's a fucking silly, you want me to suck your dick, booby? Everything sounds jolly and fucking weird.

I mean, how do you, Kelly? How would you say to a guy in a sexy, dirty way, I'm gonna suck your dick. How would you do that? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, Chino We got Penicio del Toro Lewis your bro, right? We have Dennis Who's Danny DeVito? No? Who's the Jew who did rain man? Your Dustin Hoffman I will be I will be Robert the hero no, I'll be I'll be I'll'll be, I'll be, uh, Pesci. I'm Pesci. Okay.

Your sister is many drivers. And you- I make it very uncomfortable. Kelly, Fistuka, auditioning for the role of Suck My Dick. Okay. So now, you have to say- It was taken my second place. You're an easy little tortor, obviously.

You're gonna suck, but an easy else. He doesn't have to act. She's easy on take it to her room. He's gonna talk to my dad. First of all, I'm the director. It's my movie. Sorry, but okay. I'm peshy The fuck kind of people are a fucking the fucking Kai where you smell a kind of fucking two seconds of the dog And I'm not a fucking enjoy the country

Fucking open a passport you want to smell Um, that's not a peshy. That's my angry baby The fucking I need a bottle of hungry. I'm gonna take the suck on your fucking touch. Okay, listen, here's the scene. Kelly, you're trying to get into this. You're trying to get into this. Look at the little ass fake smoking a cigarette already.

Yeah, black and white period pieces. Actors studio, you fucking smoke at a cigarette. Anybody do a Dustin Hoff? I don't even know what to do. All you have to do is look the way you look. And actual. Exacture. Done.

All right, here's a, here's a scene. Here's a scene. Kelly, here's a scene. Look at me. I'm your director. Okay, here's the scene is this. All right. What the, what are you going to do, right?

You're going to go in. You're going to fucking suck his cock, right? You're going to fucking, you want to go in. You you're gonna get in the building, there's no way in! He's the only way in the fucking building! Me fucking my friend over here! Wah! We got my fucking dust, the Jew dustman, Hoffman, and many drivers! This fucking freckle bitch, right?

This T-Sip and T-Wat, right? Can I just ask, can I, my Australian accent be dense? So does the Australian accent? You can make it whatever you want. Do your fucking job, you fucking conplish it. I want you to go, hey, I'm gonna get, your jaw, you're gonna get in the building, pass this fucking Puerto Rican. You're gonna suck his dick to get in.

Is Benicia Puerto Rican? Yes. Definitely. Yeah, don't fucking break carrots. Sorry, you're fucking cock suck. Especially with that cigarette in your head. Yeah, let's go. Hey fucking action you what I am he to suck some cock That is this good. Cut. Cut. Well, who you Zorro? I fucking yeah, but he were auditioning the suck is cock no, you have this you have to go

It's more like this ready. Let me do do your part, alright? Just give me an action. And I'm already rolling an action. Hey, how you doing? Hello. How are you? You're Spanish? I'm very good, another duo here. Ah, I gotta get in that building.

What do I gotta do to get in here? You have to suck my cool. Let me pull that fucking uncircumcised fucking big slong out and put in my fucking wet mouth, suck that fucking helmet, like that. Yeah, I mean, it looks it takes to get to the center of your titty pop one, to-hoo, for-re, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You like those balls? I like big saggy nuts. Oh, you only have one. Ah, you got one taken out, I like this one big ball. All right, well don't tell everyone to have one not ball. That was the first between me and you.

You only have one not? Yeah. What? Why are we no cover this? Kelly, come check it out. No. No, no, no, no. I was just joking.

I do have really small nuts though. They were like, oh my god. That's what it was, yeah. They were telling us to have really small nuts. Oh god, Jesus. So listen, do you understand how it works? All right, ready? And wait, Jesus. So listen. Do you understand how it works? All right, ready? And wait, action.

Hi. I was really hoping to get into the building. Buh! Sorry. What's wrong? Correct, son. Kill them. All right, well, let's try it one more time.

Try to get to the point where she's going to say it. I want to see if the Australian accent can be sexy. And take number 13. Action. Hi, you got a light? Yes, I have a light. So I need to get into the building. How can I make it happen?

What is she doing? Just stay in character? I you cut your cock fucking sucker. I need to get into the building. How can you make that happen for me? Maybe you could have your sister suck my dude. No, that's listen. Why was it easier? I made it do it. This is how it's like I mean you this is how gay he is he was it with me and him flawless me guy to guy I was the other part He was with me and him flawless Guy to guy's the park Sorry, who's a girl's looking in your eyes like oh, I gotta fuck something else

Hi one more time now let just just stay in sorry, I'm in go right go and Okay, hi, I really need to get upstairs and I really need to make it happen. Can you make that happen for me? Anything I can do for you? Possibly. Possibly like what? Wait, stop! Why did you turn into a fucking English posh dude? Possibly?

Nicheo Del Toro. Nicheo Del generic foreign guy. Oh man. Possibly a Venetio del Toro Generic Oh, man I got a character for it. I do not my movie. I'm just trying to break you and stay there dude my fucking I Stop paying attention for a minute Fucking to give y'all a shot in the other room All right, all right, yeah, yeah

Faces that me dude Kelly was doing fucking great Are you watching her face? I didn't we got to get to the point where she says it to see if it's sexy you fuck face All right, let's just cuz if it's not a dick turning you on There's an a ball sack and a fucking gaping asshole. You know you can't stay in character Don't be mad at me because you have a sexy voice. Don't you guys be on a little bit? I do. You really do, you're great, dude.

That was not Pneesh El Doutaro. That was a little shit going on. I'll say it. All right, let's go. I'm gonna try to out-get you right now. Come on, let's go. Come on. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, God. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. He beat me. Lewis was going in. He beat me every time. This cock's I could close his eyes. At the last second. Dude, I played fucking chicken. I'm blindfolded on. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart. My heart There was a black guy here to get really uncomfortable at that There was a black guy Mac gay yo, all right here we go

Yeah, yo, you know son, no son. All right here. We go. Here we go Kelly You're gonna be working oh Yeah, you were Waited me my friend. Oh, he's a good guy. He's not a fucking loud. But great friend Al is a good guy. He's not a fucking loud. But you're head. Cal. How much you got?

OK. Here we go. All right. All right. And fucking action. Hi. There's a nice glass. Ah, thank you.

Now, I really needed to get into that building. This one over here. Yeah. Can you make that happen for me? What are you going to do for it? AHHHHH What are you gonna do for it? I can do a lot of things, um, I can, um, what do you really need right now? I need you to suck my cat! I believe that's the finish line.

No, you gotta fucking say it! You gotta suck his car, you have to say it! Okay, alright, I'll go back in line. I'll go back in line. We'll go back a line. Action, go. So what can I do for you that could make you change your mind and let me in? You gotta suck my cock. Okay.

So, you all right. What are you going from there? You gotta say something you got to say, stop. Kelly sister, get on the mic. You can do this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what do you say? What the guys say is suck my cock.

It's like, all right. You got to go, yeah, what the guys say? You just put it in your mouth. Stop. No, you want to see how it's done. Okay. You got to get it hard before it touches. Yeah, you got to go, you got to go, I already made it hard.

You got to, you got to go like this. You got to go, I'll got it. I already made it hard You got you got to go like this you got to go I'll suck that car You got to say that you got to be a little bit more How do you like it like it? Yeah, yeah, you're good. You're that good I went to a Lewis Gomez. Let's go Kelly. You all want one more shot or not you have to control yeah, so don't say suck my cock All right, you say what do you got what do you got? So don't say suck my cock. You say what do you got? What do you got? Okay.

All right. You're not seducing him. If you don't fucking get it right with him, you're gonna be sucking Dustin Hoffman's cock. And nobody wants that. All right, I'll do it. I'm sorry. All right, here we go.

What do you got? What have I got? What do you need? What do you got? What I've got is, well, I don't, maybe, what have I got? What have I got? Okay. Who would act this way?

I'll listen. Did that shit, I had a fucking... I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it.

I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to do it. I'll try to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how to figure out how The Australian accent is the worst Australian people stink at sex you you guys are good at sex and that's you just proved it I'm sorry. I'm sorry Kelly sister you guys the Australian people sex is fucking just a good thing But what would you like me to do? Whatever you like you want me to touch you you boost it

Whatever you like, you want me to touch you, you boost it. You can't do it. Watching Kelly trying to get the word sucky clock out of with her sister doing this. Just staring at the side of her head. I knew she was a slutty girl. Listen. Come on, you came to New York to be an actor. Do it. All right, all right, we're doing it again.

Kelly, you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, you're ready, get an actor do it. All right, all right, we're doing it again. Kelly, what are you? What are you? What are you? You ready? Kelly, go for it. Hey, look at it. Like Rocky, go for it. Okay, whatever you got.

He's sexy. Okay. Well, I can suck on bulls, really good. Oh. You can suck on your bulls. Yeah, take him out, let me say. Oh, yeah. All right, stop.

Now you turn into a like you sound like me. I suck on your bulls, take your bulls out. I'm fucking, I'm sucking you ass. I'll fuck you when you're balls sucked. I like balls You could you add some female to it? You're either fucking giant timid or you're a fucking truck gay truck driver You want sucky dick? I'll fucking suck your dick. I'm on fucking sons of anarchy. I'll suck you dick I'm on fucking sons and anarchy. I'll suck your dick. Go. A porno that says in the subject, deep throat.

That is exactly what that was. Because it's such a sweet face. What do you need? I don't know. I'll do it. OK, you ready? You want to say it to Phil? What have I got?

OK. OK. All right. I love that. What have I got? I really like sucking on balls. Can I have a look? Take your mouth for me.

I'm going to look. All right, I'm done. I'm done. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. That was a good job No, you did good. I'm out. I'm out. I know cuz I felt my dick filling up and I know that was good Because that actually fucking made me thump a little bit and I don't want it to thump with Kelly Especially with their fucking Where you like what you said you want me to take a look? Oh, she goes pull them out take them out. I like that. I like pull them out. It was kind of cute It's confident, but cute. Do you have your phone on in the fucking show dude turn your fucking pay as you go phone off Well good job Kelly. Thank you. Owl. You got it. Thank you fucking Benicio fucking you're a welcome You're welcome. Yeah, you James Bond and American accent that's

Anthony Ben Deris a bad guy. I'm gonna be in Paris right now. I'm gonna impress you to the fucking cat. Thank you Dussman for not speaking. Yeah, you got it. So anyways, we have we have this This new club in New York City Brand new finally and it's it's the first one in a while. It's a village comedy club, it's awesome. It is, everybody come out. It's called The Stand. It's a stand.

Why don't you tell us about it. First of all, tell us, tell us how long it's been in The works and how you, yeah, and why you wanted to do this. I mean, why would you want to open up a fucking comedy club and tell us why Kelly will never work there? That's actually not true. Yeah. We love Kelly's best. No, that's good, man.

I like people who like Kelly. Yeah. No, happy when she comes in. Yeah, I come in, I just hang out. She did much, she was weak and... She did? Oh, I never have. You did a good one. That's good, John.

You're going to Brooklyn for a free show, Bob? I would go, yeah, to do a comic. That's what we do. Yeah, to do comedy, I would fucking do that. We didn't get to check it. But whatever you want, how old? All right. Whatever you want.

All right, cool. I'm in. It was fun. It was great. I'll never come, but thank you. That's all I want. I would definitely come up. You left without your spot pay from last week. Oh really?

Give that to Kelly. $1,500. Kelly, you keep that. That's my coffee. Take that. That's for your coffee. That's for the coffee. I owe you so much for coffee.

You get me coffee and we just take that. I would literally kill for that money right now. Really? Do you need money? What do you need? That's why we're booking headliners because they just walk out without his pain. Well, I, you know, first of all, a budget for comedians is nothing because only headliners are coming

and they don't care about the movies. Well, here's, don't say that. That's not good. That sounds like a dick club owner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I chased you down with the money. Let's not get carried away. It's true. We're chasing. Anybody. I was excited to bring it. The only thing you'd chase down is if I had your money. Oh.

You probably have more money than I could. I can really. Bob would have rather you'd been food from the club. I sent my money into this dream of opening a company. Yeah. Well, here's the thing, man. You've been trying to be involved with comedy. That's true.

For a long time, you started with you. Well, it's not a Patrice. That's true. For a long time, you started with you. Well, it's not a Patrice. That's a big honor. Patrice, it's not a Patrice. It's you and your pal. Tell them what to crew you with. With a team of people now called CH Entertainment, it used to be called Cringium or that's our production

armor. We're still Cringium or but we tried to professional it up a little in jazz in a CH Entertainment. Yeah, making it a variation. I've done that with my website art. It started well before I was involved. Right. When you were involved in Patrick Milligan created a blog where he was pretty much promoting Jim Norton at the time of the evening. He was a big fanboy of great comedy and he created a blog called Karin's humor

And he was promoting shows for Jim Norton then slowly grew to you. Yeah, Patrice. Yeah Colin yep Boss, you know a lot of the tough crowd guys. Yeah, he was doing shows throughout the city and promoting comedians that he cared about Something an old man reading a Christmas story about. Yeah, this is really okay. I'm gonna speed this up for you I think an old man reading a Christmas story by the way. Yeah, this is really, I'm gonna speed this up for you. I'll give it up to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, stuff. I mean, really just fucking, we're talking about fucking

constant pussy and worth the fucking dick. I think it was. So 2007, Jesus Christ. 2000 is six. I just tell us the fucking guys involved. Who's the VAL? Patrick. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know,

who can't win your metham. You asked me the history of how this happened. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I you asked me the history of this happened I said you it's starting to you. I started who's The Star over the production company Do it in a dusting hock Patrick Milligan I have Chris Italian You've got a brother Paul Italian to he's my partner as well. So Paul it's really Chris really yeah, I really Chris and me

Chris and you and So you were pissed when they when he moved on and you didn't get a chance I thought I could do Is that it? Oh, that's not you on the camera I thought that was you I thought that was you when you're nervous I can do it these so it's you it's Chris It's Patrick and Paul Italian Chris Pauler brothers and you guys put this whole thing together Yeah, we put your money into it. Yeah, we've been doing shows throughout the city for so long long together line-ups of Comedians that we think are great and we care about. And you find the clubs to put up your own shows?

Yeah, and we've been, you know, trying to do shows that we like, and eventually we just got kind of sick of doing in other people's places, and it wasn't worth the time. Can we put music on behind him? At least, like, spice it up. He needs some music. I can put up some music. We got the spice board. And then we could all fucking like, uh, Spice Girls in the background, and give them a beatbox.

No. So anyway., you have any music? Yeah, there you go I may need a little motivation for this story What do you got for me Kelly? I don't plug into the stereo. It's all right fucking just yeah, just put on some cranberrys and all this guy You're doing good. You're doing good. Go ahead buddy So for the past couple of years or so we've been looking for a place that we could kind of partner in and take over the booking We had a couple things that fell through

We were actually gonna work with Times Square Art Center and then now it's a haunted house Which I'm happy about by the way. We're happy about two. Why? Cuz that place was a shit hole. Yeah, it was every failed opportunity for this has been a blessing in disguise for sure Isn't that the way life is man?? You know, a lot of times failures, when it they happen, it's just so fucking devastating. Absolutely. And you just, I mean, depressed fucked up. And then all of a sudden,

if you look back on your life, the things that failed, you wouldn't have gotten the fucking great things if that other thing actually came through. Absolutely. I mean, the time we put into putting a business plan together for them and then they just, we're gonna go with the haunted house option. And it's like, fuck you. You guys, you got the- You came through. Absolutely. I mean, the time we put into putting a business plan together for them and then they just, we're gonna go with the haunted house option and it's like, fuck you.

You guys, you got it. You're gonna buy it. You're gonna buy it. No, we weren't gonna buy it, but we were gonna, yeah, we were gonna run the place for them. And then lo and behold, haunted time square. Pretty pissed off. But the idea was still in our heads at something that we wanted to do. Do you know the evil that was in that place?

It was already on the high note. I know. For the people that was in that place? It was already. I know. For the people that don't know, in Times Square is a place, it's a haunted house. Hunted Times Square or some sort of that. Like Times Square. Oh, that's fucking great original. That's a clever. Some fucking.

By the way, they're making millions of dollars. Community college asshole came up with that. But yeah, yeah, I'm making, I I look I love haunted us as I will not Say don't go there. I would just go right now. You should What are you a fucking rogue teenager? We should go now fuck it fucking get me cat. We get in the cat now It's fucking do it shut the fuck up So we Roads you know to the point So we it's the road teenager name for the point

So we It's a great place as I but but before it was a comedy club. It was one of the best The number one right now. I know this because me Billy Bob Marley didn't cook al d'Obany Patrice on the oh All went there. It was it was a it was a was a people. It was a people but it was people world. It was the best show world Okay, so downstairs they had it was a Multi-level multi-level rooms and different type of jerk off booths. It was a porn booths Yeah, there was every the she-mails downstairs

Okay, so the whole, it was a dream place of jizz. I'm not even kidding, it was a beautiful, oh my God place for just a degenerate, fucking 20 something year old, who didn't have constant pussy on a regular basis. And horn wasn't around back then like that. Yeah, no internet, you couldn't just, you had to get a tape and a VCR to fucking, you know, you pray your roommate wasn't on.

But you wouldn't find your tapes anyway, did you? Here's a part, you go in there for a couple bucks, you jerk off on a floor and leave. That's it. You give a little flick of the wrist, you wipe it on the inside of your jeans, and you take the fuck off and some dude will clean it up Yeah, I remember opening up and they had these rooms and I don't know if Kelly's sister. I don't know and you bring the mic up to your face. I love watching her reaction. This is my

Yeah, here's the thing. I don't know if you know this but you go like okay They have people and then when you think of people. What do you think of? Naked girls and guys behind behind the glass, right? Takenoff. Okay, so they had those. I never heard my sisters say the word jacking off. Okay, so, so look at you. You're sister has sex, you know?

I know. You think she lies there with a fucking eye shot? That's the first time too when I went for the first time that that's all that was. That's the rice. Well, here is it is. Okay, so they had those booths where you go in and there'd be a girl behind the glass and you pick up a phone

And you she had a bunch of dildos and you for for more money You know you you tell her hey picked out up and stick it and do this and you and the thing goes down and you put more money And you know it's a game you play with me. They never won because I'll fucking come in three seconds I put like you know, I'm done by Bye-bye, then I write thank you with my jizz in the glass But picture the fucking thing come up and see in his face. I would start cracking The guy crack up if I oh came up and I saw you on the other side looking at me And then I jerked off and wrote thank you and Greek

So and then they have these other places though that it was like it was like these little little door And it was like a round room with maybe 20 doors around the whole thing and you'd go in and there's a little space And a little window would come up and you could stick your head in. You could actually put your head in the room. And it was like a genie's lamp. It was all these little cushions. And then there was like three or four girls, just pretty much terrible. Stretch marks, c-section scars, saggy titties. But, you know, but for a dollar, you got the thing would go up and you'd stick your head in and it'd be all a bunch of other heads

Okay, so it's just dude heads and these bitches and they come over you tipping They go motherfucker you tipping they talked to you like that and you'd hold the tip money out like three bucks And they come over and you could suck in their titties or lick their lick their pussy's or Look their assholes and jerk off. Yeah, this is the 80s. Oh What are you fucking gay? I look for three dollars. I like this hot Filipinos asshole and I jerked off. Yeah, I told you I'm a creep It was 27 26 26. I was 26. Yeah, look look man

She was a really pretty Filipino woman and she came over and let me kiss her butt for $3. I think I'm gonna convince yourself that she's not dirty. Look at man, no, they use baby wipes. Yeah, absolutely. I'm sure they do. They would, after everybody, I remember I saw Patrice grabbed the titty, I can see him

grab with his black lady's titty. I'm gonna just one hand and the other hand was on his cock They take a baby wipe and they wipe it off You know what I mean? I I'm a clean Patrice ran out of money So he goes Bobby go and go into this booth and I go dude I he was just get the fuck in there and he pushed me in so it's me and him and He's behind me and I'm jammed in there's no room for one person never mind two of us, right Patrice And he goes all right put the money all right, put the money in. And I put the money in.

The window goes up and I had to put my head down while he stuck his head over me and he goes, get that one, stick your hand in, because his hand when he was just, so it's like fucking an improv, hands improv. I'm sticking my hand in. Come over here. It's like, yeah, it was like the most uncomfortable thing ever.

Why didn't he just give you the money? Like, you just give me the money. I don't know. I was like, you're like a just give me the money, then? I don't know. I was, you're like, I jerk off consigliary. I just felt the situation. I don't fucking know. It's like puppetry. But the funniest thing ever is,

I remember when we all went in for the first time, and the windows came up and all these heads popped out, and I looked, it's like damed in my left and this belly and patrice and hal and ball. We're like, hey, what's up? What's up, dude? Just heads. But this place was a magical place.

I'm mad you could buy porn. You could jerk off into a point. They have these rooms that would just porn like thousands of porn and you could jerk off to the dirt They would flip through the channels you flip through a B and C in those booths. There's a little slot This is like the glory. This is like glory hole. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That's where is that? Where is that? I don't know. That was that show. That was that show. That was that show. Kelly, write that down. Does it? Raw hideoff. Alright, so here's a deal.

Alright, let me ask you a question. Not to get off topic a little bit. Okay. Let's go off topic. So you're jerking off in a boat. Who you vote for? I think I just think about 47%. When you're in 7-5 and you go Obama around

Okay, here's it. Yeah, let's just get this out of the way who you voting for It's my name explain to him what voting is Voting is when people Electors series of governments. You're in a... I'm not voting for the abo, I'll tell you that one. Fuckin' out. Can I have a pretzel ball please? Oh man. Wow, I thought those pretzel balls were there to replace Dan Sotas' personality.

Jesus. Wow, Jack! That's the best. I love you. Pretzel ball. Oh, it's gorgeous. I love you. I love you. Brass oh boy. Brass oh slide. Oh. It's gorgeous.

Bobby, I'll tell you a quick story about um. Hang on, let me just get to this. No, Kelly, I only need this so you tell me that. That's why I took that. That's why I took it off. You're the best. I love you. Okay, so one time me, my sister was a group of us,

about six of us went and hollered out of Thailand, like you know, beaches and beautiful and stuff. And we went into a show. This better end with you guys in the center of a Jimmy Lamp. How's this five guys jerking off? I know the end of the show, you lost one of you and then you spent the rest of the time trying to find that person and through all those high jinks, you found a baby. What are you gonna tattoo? Lost it too.

And then you finally found them and you made it home, everything worked out good. And then my tiresome was a tiger. Wooo! I said it's familiar. Now, if you ever been to a sex show in China and before? Yes, sit off your phone. I have. Get off your phone.

I was trying to get the canolli here, the tuna toy toy. Oh, really? Oh, I'm sorry. Can I have that piece of bread? I don't. It's fucking chugged a piece of bread, is it? What was that bread? No, no, no, I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. Quite Kelly. No, and they're like fucking insane. Like they were like, they give you the paddles. You know, like, you guys call it ping pong. Got table tennis, anyway. I mean, hold in there. Yeah. What do you call it?

Table tennis ball show. Table tennis. Oh, it's not that different. And I give it a title. And they're like, hold the paddle. I'm like, I'm not holding that paddle. I know what I'm gonna have to do with it. And then the woman comes out and just blurt out little ping-pongs out of a Vijayjay and you're gonna hit him back. Did you say Vijay? Yeah, I do.

I do. You know yourself? Vijayjay. What do you want her to say? She's not a punter. I'm open to swear. Not in Australia. Who should I have ping-ponged out of it?

That's it. No more cunt. No more cunt out of you. That's it. He said c con a couple times in a fucking cool way and you open the floodgates for your cons I Mean how many times people say blood comes up like once every month Now from now on in my life. I miss someone say fun. I'm going right into it What city USA the mayor? Shit that's fucking fine. All right, listen here. What's what's going I want to ask you a question seriously guys You're in a fucking piece both and you're in this two Dustin Yeah, you're in a piece to do you you're in a fucking piece both and you're in this too Dustin. Yeah. You're in a piece.

You're in a She's right before so I appreciate you. Can I say some love? Easy. That's how we get through this. How did you make that? I don't know if you've noticed all the oods around here, but we're okay. Let's chill out a little bit.

We're okay. We're all in a booth. You own the building. Nobody will come. I've got a lot of leg him to everybody downstairs. Yeah, I don't know, Lumpur Terry. We're all in a booth. You own the building. We're going, we're going, and go. And Lewis is trying to steal something. It's funny.

Listen, you're, I'm honestly going, you're in a booth and you're, you're literally jerking off to some creepy shit, all right. The fucking slide opens up and All you have to do is put your dick in there Listen, let me finish You're gonna put your dick in there, okay, and someone's gonna suck it till you come You don't do. Yeah, no now 1997 very horny college kid Dave Kimowitz.

Absolutely. You do it. So there was a time you would do it. Okay, I don't have to ask it. No, no, I fucking said no. I got offered to get my dick stuff. Shut up. I'm asking you a question.

My scenario. Just make my sense. No noise. No noise. The thing opens. It's a mouth. You're going to be a mouth. You're going to put your thing in there. But we don't know if it's a guy or a girl. You don't know what it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, actually, Times Square, I got a little out of the, out of the, uh, Circumstances. Show World, out, show World Times Square, I'd say no. Oh, come on, own it.

You said yes, don't just own it, just cause we said another beer bar. I'll tell you this. I know you said yes. I'm not, I'm not gonna be honest with fucking everybody. I think you're honest with me. I'm in the fucking thing, this never happens to me. It's been in the circumstance.

This never happened to me. I've never been in a thing where the thing opened up and there's been a fucking mouth on the other end. I'm gonna fucking think jerking off to what I jerk off to, okay? Which occasionally here You hear both people going suck my dick You suck my first Then the answer's no Yeah, it's all about the circumstance. Like you said, that girl is extremely high.

Look, you lick the rest because you thought she's hot. I'm gonna fuck, you know, yeah, I fucking put it in there. I probably would fucking, I'd probably fucking feel warm cake. I'd push it right in there and fucking, jizz right in a some fucking whoever's mouth. I probably would. I love it if I, then you open the door, and you fucking see your stepdad.

Bobby, oh shit, I just came in your mouth. I'll be right behind by six. I'm gonna do it. I'd probably stick it in, because like if you didn't know it was a guy or girl, and a guy would at least know how to suck it. That wasn't a part of the scenario though. You know it's a girl, you know it's a girl.

Right here, here's the question for you, Kelly. You get this moussure pussy against the wall, and it's a girl. You know it's a girl. Here's the question for you, Kelly. You get this mousse your pussy against the wall and it's a hole. Okay, but it's a, now this is what I, but it's like a glory hole for women. It's kind of flexible wall where you mousse your pussy up against it. And it's like a, you know, made a spank's material. And you mousse your pussy up against it and a guy can stick his dick in on the other side You do that And I don't know you don't know who he is and nothing. It's just that you don't know the guy or girl And you get to pick your size dick like before you go in

She said out of a catalog Don't throw in the scenario all diseases and anything. No, you don't know. No, no, no, no, no, you don't know. No, we did that. I don't think that's the deal. What are you going to get from a mouth? You could get herpes from a mouth. Did you got herpes?

We all do. This microphone has herpes on it. I put it on the mics. It's just a microphone. Yeah, I give everybody herpes. So we're on a legal, even playing ground. Yeah, I'm careful. Joyless always it's a play. He definitely everybody herpes. So we're on a legal even playing ground. Yeah, I'd be careful. Jolly's always it's a.

He definitely has herpes. Yeah, I'm also about it. I don't know, man. I don't know if there's no risk for me. If there's no risk of catching anything, it's like nothing back. It always seems like those glory health things. Like someone with a dick in it and someone else

like Chups that are. First of all, here's the thing about a glory hold that I won't, I'm going to feel fucked up doing it. My dick is like only a little bit. It's going to be sticking out the other about a glory hole that I won't, I'm gonna feel fucked up doing it. My dick is, like, only a little bit's gonna be sticking out the other side, you know what I mean? So, I mean, unless, unless that's fucking like paper thin walls, I'm losing a lot of my dick on that fucking quarter inch plywood. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I watch glory holes, I watch the glory hole videos and it's like you got to have a big dick to get you dick sucked in a glory All not to suck to get a fuck check their glory. Oh, you got a big

It's just sucked dude to get it sucked. Yeah, I mean yeah dude Yeah, I've seen some of those that's like an inch thick and then you take an inch off plus my bush fat You're gonna see just ahead of a dick coming out of a hole. She's gonna have to just, she's gonna have to lick it like a lullipop that says she blows me. I'm gonna run rock it. Little red rocket is poking out.

Let's talk. It just looks very reticent shy. I don't wanna come through. I don't wanna come through. I don't wanna come through. I'm gonna run up mushroom. Guy put it through. I am putting it through.

You know what I wish they would do? I like it guy. I wish they would create a massage table and I think they probably do have it in China or somewhere. But we can lie down and you know what I wish they would do? I wish they would create a massage table and they probably do have it in China or somewhere but we could lie down and you know what your face, the hole where your face goes, they have it where your dick goes. It must exist.

You know what they do have them. I've seen porn where you lie on the table and you put your dick to the table and the girl is fucking jerky. Yeah, it's called milking. Yeah, that's what it's called. If you want to watch it, it's got to. I thought milking is when they put it all over the place. You know the towers and then. They're looking at your asshole and they have a jerk and you walk from the front. That's milking. Yeah, that's what it's called if you want to watch it It's got milking is when they put you on the turners and then looking at your asshole now joking you off from the front That's milking is what I'm sorry. Excuse me Kelly

Sorry, your sister's eyeballs just fell out. What did you say? Yeah, when if a girl's looking at your asshole when she wraps it I'm around you and then you've ever done that no I never looked at guys asshole ever. No, would you? No, it depends out into a mollus. All right right take this let's take some guys asshole press up against the wall you don't know who's asshole it is that you should buy all this right now buddy sure anyways all right let's get let's get back sure anyways I don't know how we got off on this fucking topic oh because we were talking about podcast that's how did this happen I don't even know we started with like so is this your right?

The other one of you gonna fuck when you hear that was Boston I was molested I like she-mails my dick is tiny. I never said I like she-mails And I never said my dick is tiny. I said it wouldn't fucking look good in a hole You said it was too much plywood. I have mad. What's your cut smell like? That was him. We were talking about showroom.

When you have a point, you got a point. So it is the political atmosphere. We were having a nice discussion about politics and all of a sudden. This took a turn for the worst. How do we get you asked me how I'm opening a comedy club. That and all of a sudden. This took a turn for the words. How do we get you asked me how, how, why I'm opening a comedy club. That's how we got to. Now we're all gay.

Glory holds. Now, now we know that you suck. That's how we got the. Now we know you dreamed of sucking Dix in your early 20s. If you've just tuned in, Dave Kimmelwood's dream to sucking. I love how we tried to retract it, though.

It's what he's fine. We were like, no, he was like, wait a second. Okay, hold up. It's going to be guys or girls. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm just in the right situation I mean, I didn't really think it through if there's I wouldn't That's a point you didn't think if you're in some reaction, but let me suck that that's true And I'll own that I will own that Lewis that was my Diggie suck a dick my I would suck it to There you Lewis have you ever sucked whoever's who sucked a dick in this room raise your hand I touched my balls

Yeah, you like the dick was it to be funny or was it? Yeah, I've done that that's what I I blew a guy for a steak. Yeah, when I was keeping That's what I, I blew a guy for a steak, yeah, when I was kid. First steak. I touched my tongue to Justin Silver's balls on the dare. You all right? I blew a guy for a steak, next. I wasn't aware of that. Just imagine what steak started to get.

Just imagine what he would do for Tuna Tartar. What are you? When you're in first first grade it's hard to get a stink like a whole steak I'll get a little piece like my mother will cut and she cuts it for you Yeah, back up you didn't have a chance of being thin If you were If you were a fucking dick for a steak at seven, Jesus Christ. I never, this kid's gonna grow up and shake. Do you know I never put that together?

That my food addiction is from the time when I got molested for a steak. Every time I eat something, I'm trying to be safe. I'm trying. That fucking pet of hell knew what he was doing man. He started glistening the rise. Can I have one of those? Give me another fucking ball.

He tried, he tried like, he want tickets to the next nothing, nothing. He put on a steak, Bobby went, what do you think? I will suck your dick for that steak. Whoa, I didn't think he had to suck my dick. No, I'm doing it, come here. Dude, I was gonna give you this steak anyway. What did I do to suck my dick? I'm gonna suck your dick for the steak.

Oh my God, I wanna fucking fail. We're just gonna give you a ride of steak to a fucking kid. get out of a second dick right now. What do you like prime rib kid Poor her house. No, he's stuffing a fucking roll. What do you think of the bed? So what do you think? Probably talker. You like that Brad Bob? It was one of the truest like fat person admissions. I've ever heard. Yeah, I sucked a dick for a second. You just pinpointed it for him and he said that's true. Who would have sucked a dick for a food

that you can get for 10 bucks or 12 bucks anytime you want? Well, I want 10 bucks to a set of your kids a lot of money, dude. I'm gonna suck a dick today now. I feel sad. I'm gonna go home and suck a dick. Lewis, you want me to suck a dick? Dude, I want you to. Do I? Light up the grill.

See Kelly, that's how you ask a sucker dick. You do it while you have tears in your eyes while you're stuffing bread into your mouth. How does Evergones Segway into the story of this? Were you ready to know this level of honesty? I don't know if your sister was ready. So the stand is open this weekend. I'm just waiting for the second. Who you voting for? Oh my God. I'm square show. You had no chance. Here we are. Here we are. It's so funny. I never put that together.

Oh, they're good. I always play with them. Why do you have therapy, doesn't it? I blame it on my stepfather beating me. It was me, sucking a dude for a steak. Medium rare me. That's the conditioning in a wash. It's set the conditioning in motion right there. All right, so you got this fucking place. I don't know.

Let me answer question. Do you got surf steak? I want to be two varieties, Lewis. I want to be fed, I want to be paid in steak now. Speaking of dude, there's a deal. You can do that. I went to, you varieties Lewis. I want to be fed and I want to be paid in stake. No, I'm thinking do that. Here's a deal. I can do that. I went to you guys put this club together.

You guys had this online presence, online type of magazine for cringe comics. Yeah, that's what you're looking for. Let's just point this out. It wasn't really cringey. It wasn't the beginning, but you guys turned it to funny comics. Well, I think the word cringe,

when it was, it wasn't meant to be cringe in the sense of like, in your face or. No, it was. It was. It was at the beginning. Before you got involved, I mean, Patrick made cringe humor. What it was.

I mean, you weren't there. Oh, absolutely. It was, it was guys ignored me in your face. Cringy, fuck the regular alternative joke- I'm just gonna get through. But I think the definition of cringe in the sense that you it's first I think people think shock value and as opposed to honest and right yeah no I know I heard it I'm saying boy here but it's changed over the years to the website has changed you guys have changed

where you guys are now just if you're funny you're funny because you guys have guys it really they're funny guys are not cringe guys we manage comedians I would never you would probably make fun of Patrick a lot if if you told them in 2005 that we were managing guys of that that we're not actually no I wouldn't I mean I'm I'm I'm I never really bought into the cringe them by the way. I think funny is funny I never I never I never if I don't care if you're a joke teller or you're a fucking talking about pussy if it's funny it's fucking fine I think that's 100% Kelly's comedy makes me cringe

She did come a week ago Yeah, I did well, I'm so sorry Yeah, she's in love too, it was first Love it in life, she hosted and by the end of the week she fucking was she was doing great She did okay By the end of the week What's that? She never, she never fucking hosted ever,

and I put her in this position, and I yelled at her too, because I called her up, I go, you got the gig and she was, I didn't know. I gave it to you. And I was like, fuck you, and I hung up the phone.

It was only back when you got something not to say back to me. Yeah, I was like, fuck you, and then she called me back. All right, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, which, you know, sometimes you need that fucking, get your shit together, you're a comic, be a fucking comic, and then she called me back. All right, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Which, you know, sometimes you need that fucking, get your shit together, your comic, be a fucking comic. And then she pulled it together, went out

and every night got better, better, better. And then, uh, and then, and she had all the rest, she had to sell the merch at the, yeah, we had all this YKWD merch at the end and she was doing all that shit. She was, she froze, she goes, I used to sell cable TV in Australia. I was like, so you're not a sell, I do, I do. She gets out there literally. People are

complimenting her and asking her, she, she froze. She was like fucking city Brady. Batten Rouge. I never had it. I don't know what I'm doing. But then she got, she got the hang of it. But then we can just kill it. I had friends in the crowd. It was a great show, right? Yeah, I grew up there. Oh, cool.

How long have you been doing comedy? How long have you been doing it? I've been here for two years, but five years. Yeah, that's two years. We don't count anything from Australia. That shit's horseshit. Hello, mates. How are you doing? Welcome to fucking Gilles Pop.

You're all ready to laugh, right? Yeah, of course we are, because that's all we do is fucking support each other in this shit country. We help whales and fucking stupid fucking stupid to see. They help to see. I'm going to a club on Melbourne. Yeah, let's help a shark and turtles and everything in the fucking ocean. We save. Go fuck. They even save coral. Oh, looks. We got to preserve K. Weeves. Go fucking country. There's one of the very many dark communities in Australia. Let it die. I want sushi. I want to be a world poppy.

Are there comedians in Australia? This doesn't sound like it's possible. What's that? They're comedians with angst in Australia. Real quick. You guys, you guys who know us, thank you for the donations you guys have been sending our way. You know, they all go back into the podcast.

If you guys want to to if you can't donate But you want to help yourself and help us and then help our sponsors That's a great way to support our show go to ridecast.com Robert Kelly or And hit the Amazon button when you're gonna buy anything off the end anything off the internet anything we talk about a tech talk Whatever you're gonna get you can get everything off Amazon just use our link buy it from our Page we make money every time so the more you spend the more we make And if you want to go to fucking hammer fist

Well, not a new thing. I think that you can search my baby registry Through the amazon.com link you could buy me stuff while you donate Thanks, sir in your baby registry Lewis on the Little gay James come on Oh, he needs a stroller or December. We're praying that Lewis's baby is the flaming dancer Just comes out a choreographer He's a fucking prodigy choreographer Armando Gomez I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it.

I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it.

I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it.

I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it. I'll go for it gonna be fat. Not gay. I'm like, no, no, not this. No, he's gonna be fucking in. I'm talking real legitimate gay. We're hoping and praying. Please send the prayers out there. Once a day, send the affirmation out. Lord, in a perfect way, in a perfect world, please, don't make Lewis, go on his first child, gayer, then Gay. Like effeminate bottom game. We want, we want bottom top side,

Harry, sloppy bottom. Like you can't get off unless it's two dudes inside of him at the same time. Oh, yeah. Sloppy bottom. We want, we want 60s gay, early 70s before eights. Before eights. Right before eights gay.

This is the most 80s. Just for this, it's a good point. And do we still like some shame and danger to it? Some like self hate? Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about gay and fucking like Jamaica right now, like dangerously gay.

Yeah, we want to like, but kill you. That's okay. It's like heart racing. Miami. My heart. It's wrong that can't help it. We're doing it in a confessional. And so if you can send those prayers out there for Lewis

and his baby, that it does come out just, fuck, hate MMA, hates violence and loves sweaters and v-necks. Dad, will you stop doing that podcast? That's so funny. That's wrong. Ask Robert if I can get on Rycast because I have this whole fashion line show I want to talk about. I love them anyway.

I have this whole fashion line show I want to talk about. I love them anyway. Anyway, so go to RyeCast slash Robert Kelly, go to our page, use the Amazon link right there. Okay, you guys are the best. So here's a deal. Gameplay. Don't tell me how to promote. No, I just throw it in the middle so I don't have to listen to it all up front.

That makes sense. So anyways, you got the stand. We're going back. I kind of throw it in at the middle to give a little break. I can go back. I can follow. I know how to run this show. I'll follow you. Yeah, yeah, it's my shit. It says Robert Kelly on the fucking stickers. Can I ask a quick question? No, I have six and a half inches. Okay, good. Thank God. Do I run the down? That's not. I'm lying.

I would love six and a half. Phil has to go. Phil has to go. I have to run a little quick break so we can do stuff. All right, listen, we're going to do a quick break because five o'clock Phil has to leave. And he's looking mighty dapper tonight. What are you going to sweat or initiate on?

You have two regular shirts. Is it? You have three shirts on. Yeah. He's and he's holding over the sleeves is pretty impressive but he makes a casual by wearing the sneakers the way I look you know Harry you know when you when you jerk off the cleanup involved with your hair is just a nightmare yeah I don't believe that down Down your bush fat's not hairy? I got a girl so I got a trim. Oh, you trimmed your bush fat.

Good for you. You look hairy to me. I don't know. I don't believe you. All right, well, we'll take a little break. We'll be right back. We're going to finish up the stand stuff. We're going to be talking about the brand new club in New York City. One of the sexiest, hottest, good looking,

rockin' this fucking, oh my god, clubs in New York City, the stand, when we get back, and we're gonna be back with Yannis Poppiss. Flood City Mayor. Flood City Mayor. Flood City! Kelly's fucking sexy sister, who hasn't said a word since we told, said, show your gun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She cut traumatized joe and Jesus and Lewis gay

Gomez, all right, we'll be right back Hey guys, you guys want to come see me live? That's where I'm fucking at I mean if you like this podcast you need to come see me live. I'm one of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet I'll just say that. That's where I'm at. I'm back confident If you don't if you don't laugh at my show money back From the club if you sue them. Check this out. I'm going to be at McGuire's, governors,

October 5th, October 6th, Broke Ridge Comedy, October 16th, Village Underground, Big Party for the book. You guys want to take us to that? It should be an out. It should be on my website. We're going big party for the book, Cheat, Me, Joe DeRosa, Colin Quinn, Rich Voss, Keith Robinson, who are all in the book. Doing a show, showing the movie, and selling the books. And make sure you come down to that. And then in October, I'm at the Hartford Fentybone starting on the 18th. And then Comedy Works, October 26th, up in Albany. And then comedy works October 26th up in Albany and then I'm gonna be November for a lot of day

Coming down there in the first for a little while and then I'm at the stand speaking of Beautiful comedy club November 8th and November 9th And then I'm on off the hook comedy club Marco Island Florida coming down there on the 15th Spend some time with you Floridians, you fucking birds, whatever they call them down there. I don't know. And then the seventh, I got a really sexy gig. The Stan Hope House, Stan Hope, New Jersey. Just me, a little theater, really cool place.

And the next night after that on the eighth, I'm gonna be at Uncle Vinnie's at Point Pleasant, which you guys always come out and support me there. And then I'm going to be back at the lovely bananas and Hasbrookites. One of my favorite places, fucking crazy, a shitty room, but I love the people and I love the crowds. January 11th, maybe over in Kelly on that one. Maybe we'll see what happens.

So those are my dates. You guys want to check them out. Come see me live, spread the word, retweet support, and that's it. Hi everybody, this is Kelly Fistricka from the You Know What Dude podcast. I'm here to just tell you about a few shows that are going on around the city for the next few weeks. I like to sing my sentences. The first show is my show Underbelly, which is at the Creek and the Cave at 10.93 Jackson Avenue in Long Island City. Underbelly is the first Saturday at 10 o'clock of every month. The first Saturday, 10 o'clock of every month at the Creek and the Cave.

It is free admission. There's great drinks and Mexican food there and it's awesome. It's comedians doing everything but their stand-up. So they've got to be funny but they can't do their standup. So you never know what you might see. You never know what might happen. It's still up in the air. It's amazing. It's fantastic. Also, I have a show called A Dog's Breakfast, of course. A Dog's Breakfast is the first and third Tuesday of every month, first and third Tuesday of every month at nine o'clock. And that is at the court yard ale house in sunny side queens. The address is 40, 18 queens boulevard.

That's the court yard ale house, son of son of son of a queen. That's a free admission as well, cheap drinks. It was a great show and I only booked the best. Only for you. I can watch me burn through six minutes of my A-GAME. Boom! Oh yeah! All free. Come, come say hi. We'll have a snuggle. We won't really. I don't like touching. I'm very awkward with that stuff. But yeah, don't hug me. If you see me, don't hug me. Just give me a queen's way from the side of the room and we'll be okay. Great. Thank you.

What do you think, Lewis? You think that I'm gonna be okay? Oh god, Kelly, shut up. We stand with you just to tell you to shut up. Where's Dan? All right, we're back, man. So yeah, we left. We were about to talk about the stand. It's a really cool club and it look not only did you open up a cool club you open up a cool little lounge upstairs with amazing food i showed up the other night first of all i should have never fucking

i always fuck up and say yes to stupid shit patrick call me to he did it i left the veils for a wednesday but didn't tell me it was like a soft opening night, and they invited I really bad night. They all they invited like concierge. Yeah, so it was like all of one people which are never good Shows who had been drinking for free for about an hour before you got there And it was a bad crowd Their assholes, well then they when you compete in general whether it's tickets or drinks dude

They're fucking assholes. They're entitled, but then there's a bunch of fucking young comics gonna want to be for me who don't know how to handle a fucking shit crowd You know what I mean? So they just go up and do their jokes and they bomb and then they go Jesus That's true, and it's like fuck don't don't let them know this is jazz mother fucker I've never mentioned Joe Joe was hosting and he's not really a host He's a guy who likes to complain. He's like I love this place This is jazz motherfucker. Not to mention Joe was hosting and he's not really a host. He's a guy who likes to complain. He's like, I don't know, this place is gonna be this thing

and this comic's coming up. Look, here's a deal. A shitty room, as a comic, embrace it, love it, feel it. Don't sit there and just talk about, don't do your fucking act and do your joke that barely works in a good room and then blame the fucking audience. But to your credit and not that you necessarily need it you uh, I mean you you destroyed so it was uh,

we needed that thank God had you not been there. I was watching that show and then it's like and I don't want to sound like a fucking I don't lose it's gonna give me a hard time for saying this. He's not gonna give you a hard time you know why? Because I refused to allow that. We appreciate you for being a part of it. But when I was watching like bits of the show and stuff If that's what's happening you go to they do jokes and then the minute you come up on stage It's like that's why Bobby Kelly is

Yeah, no you did save that show So like you just fucking don't know I didn't give a shit and then that that was a big slap Here's it's row you on the bus Now of course I'm not saying that I fucking found out. Like, Oh, God, fucking fuck me. But here's the, here's the essence of a comic as a human being is an intelligent

fucking semi intelligent. 41 year old, who's been through this, I should have left. I should have said, I'm not doing this, but because I'm a comic, it's just in you. It's just in you. I like it. So fucking go fuck it. Let's go. Let me take out. Let me go up there and fucking do with these. Considone. I think it's kind of funny. I think everyone has that attitude with a shitty crowd where we're like, we're like, oh dude, who's going to go up there and get him? I'll

get him. I'll get him. I'll get him. It's really, it's like inherently like, it's like a flawed system because we're not getting them They're fucking getting us at the end of the day So I think we go up and we have this attitude of like oh, we got a fucking get thrown over But we're just dancing for them and then we're not No, no, no, fuck no. Yes, do you not feel Bobby at this point that you're in a place in comedy that you can just go into any Situation I look I don't I don't know house and they're throwing beers against the wall. I mean, once you don't have a B plan.

Yeah. You have no choice. I don't have a choice. I don't have a choice. I look, I have to go on stage, old people, young people, Jewish people, black people, bad crowd, good crowd. I got what I got. This is what I wanna talk about right now.

This is where I'm at and I have full fucking Fledged confidence in what the fuck I'm saying. So There's no monkey. There's no I'm dancing. I'm not dancing for anybody. I this is what I want to talk about I'm I'm crafting an act. Yeah, I'm just going by with Dave said about your act. He said you panned her a lot that night. Right. Right. But don't serious. I was talking to Louis CK about this.

It's been enjoyable the last six months doing comedy for me on the road, because I don't care anymore. I don't have the anxiety of am I gonna be funny or am I not? Is this crowd good or not? I know I'm fucking good I know what I say is good. Yeah, and I know that I'm I'm gonna do it. Do you get enjoyment from to me like do you get enjoyment? We're going? Oh, this is a shit crowd, but I'm gonna go up and destroy anyway, and when you do destroy

I don't I don't get enjoyment or I don't think I'm gonna destroy or do bad No, but if you do I don don't think either or anymore, really. Not much saying all the time. I'm not fucking a superhuman. I'm saying I don't, like even that night, I wasn't sitting, I'm gonna go up and I'm gonna get them. I used to be that way. You're in the moment, you're having fun.

Right. Yeah, I used to be that way when I was like, I'm gonna fucking do this. I'll get this fuck watch this shit You know what I mean? I'll watch this kid. I remember one night. I'm a one night downstairs at Chris Rock went on then Tony Rock went on and then Sherrod went on and they all fucking killed and I think Tony Rock went on last and he slammed the mic down This is rock house like that like in the place went nuts and I was watching this and I was like I go motherfucker watch this and I I fuck up just to all who all my guns like the

fucking Japanese were coming in and and I fucking killed I went then I go this Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh It's not a bad room. It's never a bad room. I'll take this away. I'll take this. I'll take this. I'll take this. When somebody's drunk and not listening, okay? When somebody's drunk and not listening, bad room. When they will not let you talk or they keep stepping on you or they're trying to bad room.

When there's a crowd that's quiet and they're not laughing, not a bad room. That is a fucking great room because they're listening right there They might not be Hesterically falling over but they're actually hearing what the fuck you're saying Yeah, and they're still laughing just not as 300 people or 120 people or you know They're fucking going that was good man. That was interesting. It's jazz That's what stand-up was back in the. A guy would go into a jazz club and fucking talk and tell jokes. I just kind of know how we designed the place to. I mean,

I think we wanted to feel like a jazz. It is. It's a really cool. Here's the thing. You walk in beautiful outside, beautiful logo. Mike, these Stefano is in the logo, which is, I think a beautiful tribute to a really fucking great comic and a great guy inspiration who passed away. I never liked them too much but the thing is that I get it the whole AIDS thing is that's pretty you know that gets you know I'm kidding I love I love I love I love I love these to follow but you know the club is beautiful upstairs is beautiful the food it too bad you know we were supposed to get i told them bring down a bunch of food i had it all planned i had i told the chef i'm coming down here on

yada yada yada yada transpor instilled taste good we have the whole thing he was gonna make it and i text him today i can see my text you can see my text in the 30s and he wears the food. He goes yeah, no idea what you don't if your family's restaurant or diner right If you said I need to try a bubbleg anish at the YKWD podcast if you had Bacchrafa Talking to the microphone you jackass

Brought our signature pretzel bread. We yeah, yep. Yep move the actual stand But the bread's been sitting there since last night. It was just lying around the grass. Anything that it could grow up This is fresh. There is some that's been sitting in but it's bad with a little bit this morning. I eat that my tear I dare you dude first of all you yeah, you didn't bring any of the fucking food which marks me well I mean dude you want to fucking outside. I was the bring it. I'll show you the text I text them this morning doesn't mean nothing to bring it. I'll show you the text. I text them this morning. It doesn't mean nothing to me. It's that'll show you the menu. You can do nothing to me.

I didn't bring the menu. I showed up. You know what? It happens if I don't show up. Hey, we're doing a podcast. If I don't show up on my fucking voice and the computer, we don't do a podcast. But you had the food when you came.

We could get a blanket here. I did. I went to the gym today and F. Yeah. I have some fucking stupid fucking tuna rolls. Tuna tartar canola. Yeah go over your menu real quick Okay, go quick go now on the app size or so we got don't do it your way do it my way go Fast oh tuna tartar canola is pizza empanadas make it sexy cheeseburger If you brought all this he brought all this to mark marins

Cheeseburger He brought all this to Mark Marins pocket down You just in the spread It was your podcast he wouldn't have showed up himself Well, we're on the the podcast torn there's like 300 of them I had to get through the way here Here's the deal you're fresh a salad unbelievable food Unbelievable really really big sandwich beautiful best burger in the city I will put it up against any rest Best big sandwich, the best burger in the city. I will put it up against any restaurant they say.

Not try Taita Tarts. Not try Taita Tarts. Comedy-cellsburg is a little bit. I will put our sandwich against. Literally the Minetta Tava burger next door. Really. And not to mention our cocktails, which is, we have the guy.

I'm recovering alcoholic. I just got 27 years. I don't want to talk about this. The bottom line is, the bottom line is, I'm a fat person at heart. Yes. Well, if that person is in a heart, you're a fat person at heart. Yes. But if that person is in a heart, you're a fat person in life. Jesus Christ Lewis. What the fuck is this?

Not so aggressive when you say it. Because you have to get it in. Five minutes getting on. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing a podcast in prison with fucking Lewis. No, no, no. You're a fat person in life. I'll slap PC. I'll start piece of shanky you fucking Jew the real story behind the stand is that you've got fuck for

fat folks who love food. Love drinks love comedy and you put it all together. We wanted to open a comedy club. You put it all together man and you did a good job downstairs is really cool place. I can't wait to go back and start work

I want to be able to work on so it's a cool place for me Psychologically to work on stuff too You don't it's an intimate room. It's an intimate room, you know For the owners no, I do that's why I would actually work on my stuff I'm in this because of because of Bobby I think it's a great place so welcome to the comedy community Thank you, and thanks for coming down to bringing nothing we didn't intentionally throw you to the lines It's the truth now. Do you want to perform look? I would have much rather had you on Thursday Look look dude. No, I was just I mean it is what it is

I already I am what's that already lying due to Freelander, Dane Cook, Neil Brennan. Yeah, well, yeah, there's a classic Thursday. Classic Thursday, four of us. The beat team. Here's a call. I love that he's, like, the comics that will never be there again. I can get those guys anytime I want. Every time we have a grand opening,

those guys will be there with Dan Stoy. Every time Dane Cook happens to be in town to take a meeting with Jesus. Ah. Ah. Ah. And he just happens to be on that block because he just had dinner with the Jewish God.

Hashem was on the show. When the star is aligned. Oh. Hashem, that's the Jewish name for God. He closed the show up. Yeah, you know what? Nobody gets that. But anyway, we just lost 6,000 listeners.

6,000. The young Gippur Bobby. I know. Yeah, so you could take the show. Yeah, it's a, I had a fun time, dude. It was a great stage. I was a little hot. What do you mean it was hot? Get away, because it's just a small hit.

It's a small hit. Here. Yeah, we're in our opening phase. People mostly are complaining how cold it is, because we got these bad bit of bad ass air conditions That do look great club great food great spot now listen the thing is Now get your shit together why are we talking about this food that's not here I'm starving to come to the stand and try our food. Yeah, well the stand was supposed to come to me

Fucking let me bring it to you. I'll hold my hand. 40,000 people fucking know about your stupid club and I get a fucking goddamn pretzel ball. You got it. I got a fucking pretzel ball. Have a fucking pretzel ball. You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me...

You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... You gave me... But he didn't even bring it in a good container. He brought it in a fucking cheese cup Soup Yeah, they don't even ice tea He don't even have those in his restaurant. I brought the bread because this is our signature bread

We have the pretzel bread. Oh, I say anywhere else in the city our hamburger is on a pretzel brioche and our steak sandwich Is like a New York pretzel. Yeah, it sounds good. I don't have it. Mentending steak sandwich getting Bobby's dick all hard. Man, steak sandwich. Yeah. Oh, we got fish. We have a fish and chips from Australia. Fish and chips.

Oh, so it's that shitty lobster with no claws? I know, it's a fucking mutant lobster. It's Australian lobster. It's just a tail. Don't eat it. It lost its fucking claws somehow We got some corn dog lollipops on the big dog tail. It's a good name for them though It sounds like corn dog lollipops flavored lollipops. Hang on one second Kelly. You like corn dog lollipops? I'm not sticking him in my mouth. He like oh wow

Kelly sister do you like corn dog lollipops? man. He like. Oh, wow. Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop to the wild Kelly sister and you just yes and no, okay? So they're gonna come at you. I'm gonna point. I'm gonna call Kelly sister and question, ask your question, yes, no. Okay, all right, so back to the podcast. Kelly sister, have you taken the S? Yes, that's the S. Yeah, that's the S. All right, now we're gonna play. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes. I smelled the toilet seat, fucking water. I need to get some.

All right, listen, anyways, that was definitely yes. She froze, she actually remembered the instance. She went like this. She almost went, oh, I don't like it. I need to go see Bev. OK, all right, so anyways, here we go. Here we go, back into the podcast. But most importantly is that we're pretty committed.

Question, Kelly sister, you ever took a dick in your life? Never mind. Go ahead, go ahead. I mean, most importantly, it came from the fact that we really wanted to have a comedy club that was lineups that we care about. Right. No checks, but we thought we'd find no checks. Yeah, there's no checks, but they dropped the checks at the end of the show.

The salary is the only place is done that that i've ever been to no right you went found what other clubs do right and you fucking out of that to your club what you like made it what we what we thought was

right you know we come from a place of respecting comedy and comedians first and foremost where comedians would feel comfortable to perform pull that table Neu cocksack. I stopped talking away. I can't move also the other thing did this is fucking crazy Dude, they don't have a drink minimum which is just fucking Now Say free comedy

I think the idea is that people want to use your headphones. Yeah, the headphones just so you don't yap over people. Yeah, go Lewis. It's good. Lewis. The idea is that people I think will want to eat and drink there. They're not being forced to eat and drink there, which I think is fucking Rican we tried to build up a lot of there That was one the food and drinks are really good. Yeah type of nice environment that people are excited to be there So yeah, of course I'm gonna have a drink of course I can eat Kelly sister question almost a last time you masturbated Let me smell your God that wasn't even that was That was it Oh That wasn't even a yes or no

But seriously I do. How many line-up for really committed to it? No, but the truth is that, I mean, like we started, it was a Patrick started cringe humor. Jesus. Oh, Patrick. Kelly, this is a deal, though. Kelly, and her sister can never let her family listen to this show. You know what I mean?

If we just, if we just stayed away and just was nice, they could be like, oh, you should listen to it. We're both on this show. You can't, you know what I mean? If we just, if we just stayed away and just was nice, they give me like, oh you should let's do it. We're both on the show. She did good mom and blah, blah, blah. And I did good. Now I had some zingers and little, little, now it's the, let me smell your guns. There's no way. Can I have one of those the rest of the ball? Can I have that? Where is that? Right there. Let me see that. Let me see that. That's another. Can I see that? Let me see that. Yeah. Go on your phone again. It's gonna be a fucking hammer. Who are you texting me? You guys see you on your phone again. I'm gonna fucking slap it out of your hands. He's all gonna me. My point is Bobby, we love you anytime you would come down.

Thanks buddy. No, I let you know I Know why because you were free on a Wednesday. I mean, you're free. I love the guys I love the club. You guys always been nice to me Patrick. Yeah, you and Chris have always been nice Fucking great guys, and I'm glad that you I'm happy for you guys a vision. That's why we did this. Yeah, yeah Yeah, a vision. It's not just we're open. open a comedy club because yes, what we care about it. Yeah, stop you getting worried Don't don't just keep the word That's the biggest word. No, he keeps saying the CLE is just keep saying the same thing You sound like fucking Tito or T's at a press conference

Listen to make sure I hit on my power Like that one hang on I just want to acknowledge that I got, I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm just saying that. Hang on, I just want to acknowledge that- It's pumping. I got a fucking fist promo from the MMA podcast. I got a promo right here for you. What? With the, uh, no, because I did a T-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the-the- expats who's saying they got to go what's your well um Kelly sister are you a big guy no it's like wait a minute if all the check spots go I will never get booked anywhere so whoa whoa whoa that's not let's not go crazy on the

ecco okay in Europe in Europe and England they don't do a check spot they do an intermission England, they don't do a cheque spot. They do an intermission. Yeah, because they don't fucking pay Every every I just said something just just to interrupt you What a fucking asshole I am what a fucking I just I should take my voice out if that an app we could just take my voice out I should but that's true because ever whenever I perform in London and Australia every single show no drink minimum I there shows we pay 12 bar. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to the bar, go to the tour, have a cigarette, and they come back refreshed. And we call the Cherry Spot, the first spot, second bracket first spot is a cherry spot. You always do well. Kelly, I was paying attention to what you were saying.

Thank you, sort of again. Okay. No, no, I had to get it out there like about the difference why America doesn't do it. Here's the I was I'm doing I'm doing a show Sunday night, San Antonio, great club, LOL, I have a blast. And it was a smaller show on Sunday. So the in the middle of my joke, I have a blast. And it was a small show on Sunday. So in the middle of my joke, I just spent around two and a half minutes getting to this point of the joke where it's going to just start, bam, bam, the punch line, the tags. And you know, here, and then it goes right into this other joke. And I'm talking, I'm looking right at this guy and I'm delivering the joke to this guy's face, the whole table.

And I'm going, and I'm going, bam, bam, and it's right there. People laughing, the waitress comes over and kneels down in front of me, in front of the table and starts talking like this, this loud, do you guys want one more beer? Yeah, brutal. And they look down at her like, I don't know. And these are fans of mine. Like they've seen me three times this weekend. And they're looking like, I don't fucking, what these are fans of mine. Like they've seen me three times this weekend. And they're looking, like, I don't fucking, what do you,

and it's like, what are you, you really can't wait for me. You know, you're not that fucking mentally capable to know comedy enough to when I'm done. And I take a sip of water, you go to the front fucking table. Yeah, but you know, you can't blame the waitress on that, but because it's a system My girl works on a comedy but it's a system man Comedy girl. No, you know what?

There should be no waitress or waiter in any fucking comic club that ever has a fucking attitude because usually Usually they're making more than the comic that way every time the making more Never with me. Let me tell you that you're fucking attitude. I hate that shit. Let me tell you that my girl that never happened. That never happens with me.

I'm always making more than them. My girlfriend works at a comedy club a couple nights a week and they have like very specific amount of time to just get the drink out. That's that and all the

human, all like the human element is taken out of weightressing in the comedy clubs because they don't deal with the customers. They don't tell you what. You know, who does it right? You know, who does't deal with the customers. They don't tell you what you know who does it right. You know who does it right comedy seller. They don't waitresses here. Respect the comedy. Respect the comics. Respect the show.

Absolutely. Okay. And they respect other people. And they come up. They whisper. They come from the back. They go over the ear. You know, go in front of the table. In front of the table, to block, come between me and the crowd Yeah, but that's from the top down. I mean, that's probably because they have managers. Yeah, say hey Caroline how you work as how you work now and this is I don't know if no one's telling them they're just trying They're waiting they don't give a fuck yeah, but that's cause the seller you know, they tell their Respects comedy the seller's art the seller staff are. But the seller's staff does too. I mean, the most, I'm gonna say most of them,

I'm gonna say all of them, some of them fucking, but they've been here for a long time. They're friends with the comics. They like watching us, okay? They're part of our family. You're a little surrogate family. When you own a comedy club, your waiters, waitresses, managers yourself in the comics,

we're part of a family. When I'm there, you're taking care of me and I'm taking care of you. Okay, some clubs have that down. Some clubs care about the bottom line. Right. And if you just care about the bottom line, your club is gonna stink. Right. That's a business in general. Yeah. You know, if you don't, if all you care about this bottom line, yeah, the quality of the, yeah, you have to do both. I think you have to care about the bottom line, but you also have to care about the people. When you're dealing with a human who's, you know,

I hate where I'm not gonna use the word artist. I mean, you know, we're comics. I know Yannis status. I know this is what Yannis artists do. I'm just talking to the podcast with a couple of artists. Yeah. I think Yannis is the one who's looking for his savages. You're, first of all, extremely, first of all all I love all Janice is throwing that on all of us

You're the one who said cut to her face. No one else has said it You could Start up the power is like come here. You were like this come here. No you're not sitting over here So you're gonna fuck anybody while you're here? We're gonna fuck. We gotta teach you guys. So how often do you fuck? What kind of disease is this? You can't walk up to a man. What is your pussy smell?

What? Welcome to America. Can I smell you in Canada? What's with America? That's what she, this girl's never been here. All she's seen is the movies. So now she's gonna go back and think

that we're all like fucking these new we are. We are. Like how you doing? Welcome to America. let me smell you Can't Hi guys, we're gonna get the fuck out of here listen man Jesus Christ it makes me love Now you know the guy who made the fucking sign that says fucking flood city

We're gonna have another one smell you welcome to America let me smell you can't admit it admitted to the country uh... fuck you yeah i'm happy maxes on that well make sure you guys check out the stand we'll give the give the uh... words at uh... two thirty nine third avenue between nineteen twenty of street and we're open seven days a week after clumpus right now we're open seven days a week after Columbus. But right now we're open Monday to Saturday. Two shows on the weekend.

What's the website? www.thestandNYC.com. I want you to see our website, because I know you, you'd be a good critic. Make sure I already fucking trashed your website. Yeah, I think it's a beautiful website, but they're featured comics. I wasn't up there.

Now put the notes. That's because our indie web design. I'm trying to go to a little air conditioning. You know, put in some comedians. Yeah, that's what I always hate, is when the web designer puts his favorite fucking comics on first. How about the fucking comics that have been on the ground, with Crinchuma from day fucking one,

fucking taking fat Patrick for fucking disco fries? You think it was Patrick's decision to put Mary Rathjin on the stand website who's Mary Rathjin Oh come on Mary's listen right now crying yeah Mary well we love you Mary that's my point Mary let me listen here's a deal here's a deal so your club make sure you go to make sure you type in NYC the stand in NYC because if not the other this other club comes up and it they stole from the comedy seller And just basically stole their logo and colors no the other thing. Oh the Stan and they have another comedy club the stand There's one in there's one in Scotland. Yeah, Scotland. Yeah, yeah

So make sure you type in NYC And and beautiful Kelly sister. Are you okay? Yeah, it's been enlightening. Are you all right? Are you? Look we might have rattled your cage a little bit. I feel like we should give her a rape kit Lewis go rest dot com I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Let me ask you a question. No, seriously, when she was like a move into America by myself to do comedy, did you try to talk her out of it? You were just like, fuck it, go. No, I knew it was a dream

if it's since she was young and good at yoga. Yeah. Are you jealous? Oh my God. Can you talk in the fucking microphone? Sorry, man. You stupid Greek. I wish my brother's a dick.

He always been condescending to me since I started coming. You were very lucky to have that. Hey, y'all this is brother. Let me smell your dick So your brother's gay my brother is gay. Oh, that's great Cuz Lewis is gay Really Close you know what I mean? I'm sorry, dude. It's all right.

But I don't know, I fucking don't know, if I went one or two weeks ago, because she calls me up. And she's been doing, I asked her not to do this around five years ago. I said, please don't be negative about my career. I need you to, when you think about what I'm doing to be positive, I need your dreams to be as big as mine,

because I want that out in the universe, right? I don't want you thinking, come home, come home, come home, you know, work here, be around the family because that's what, you know, I believe in that shit. And she's like, well, you know, we're talking. And she's like, well, you can always come home and work with Jimmy.

And I'm like, don't fucking say that. Yeah. You motherfucker. That's bullshit. They really, they fucking hurts. Because it's like, look, I'm supportive of you. She called me back the next day and said, look, I really love you. I'm proud as hell of you.

And she is. And I know you're gonna make it. You're doing great. But it's still. That's just because she loves you. And she's scared that you need to take that unconventional path. It's because they don't understand the business. They don't understand that we're all

making a living as probably the low end as much as a teacher makes the high end as much as a doctor makes. Okay, but they just they just know that it's your Brad Pitt or your Jerry Seinfeld or your notes. So there's a big in between. You know what I mean? Even on the show there's a huge in between between me and the rest of you guys. You don't I mean what you make and how you are. I mean, I'm way. I mean in every way. You're talking about making it. I'm like, uh, I was like, what did it in between when a teacher makes it? What a fucking doctor makes. I'm like making what like a fucking dude who collects change on the street mix. Well fucking stop making more. Step your game up. Yeah, the stand is gonna style you. Go miss.com. So, everybody run your show.

I believe already has a book. Come on Lewis. I'll be talking to you. Yeah, and this will be there. I'll be there. Lewis will be there. I'll be there tomorrow. I'll be there tomorrow night.

Yeah, when you want to come out. I have tons of dates October I can't remember Oh, well, well, well, he's got tons of dates. Listen, all right. I'm not with the stand. We're moving on to Kelly's sister Joanne. We moved on to another topic. This fucking cocks. I go club on it. You understand? How does that fucking come up with a sister loving a sister? Speaking of sister, the stand. We're talking about it. We should say the stand every three. You guys never French kids. So I don't. So you're great by the way. I just met Kelly.

She's going to be working on the stand soon. Lizard. Kelly sister. I really so when she left, was anybody in the family like fuck you know what she doing? She's an idiot. So everybody was supportive. I guess her parents were you know sad, sad to see her go, but.

Right, they want all that asshole blood out of the house. Now when you like, it was her dream, so we were very happy for her. Right, and you know me, I see this question. Are you envious of her a little bit? I'm not envious, I guess. You know, when you see someone, and I just love what they're doing, right?

To find someone who does that, to have that passion. Yeah. You can't do feel, oh God, you know. What do you do? Everyone should have that. Right, do you have that? I'm a teacher, I love my job. Right?

Yeah, but I know Kelly lives for her job. Right. You guys have a great relationship, don't you? Yeah, she's the best. Yeah, they really do. Oh, they're totally cursed. Jesus, that's nice. Did you just get in?

Like, is this the reunion? Yeah, she's got it in like, she was supposed to arrive on Friday, and then we should turn up to the airport you know I don't have a line said you would have any planes for you right now, so let me smell the cut And they flew around three days later Yeah, I had all these shows booked a set in New York. Yarns are show all this stuff Yarnas pop is question real quick. Who would you fuck? Kelly or a sister? God is sister she's a stranger i like it

let me smell you i gotta go to the sister don't know her don't know names i like anonymous sex done deal close time that is the best answer i'll you guys i check it out man Lewis Gomez what do you got uh... go to my website go mess comedy dot com i'm gonna be up in montreal big j

october the montreal comedy festival no that's over there audition me uh... what was i think literally uh... not a minute that's not a joke that's real that's completely real i'm better uh... but it's a liar that's why you'll be a montreal you're better

montreal october eight through eleven at the comedy works jimbo's comedy works i know it is great. A lot of all unbelievable place and unbelievable not to stand real intimate like the stand. Okay, go ahead and follow me on Twitter at Louis J. Gomez and check out my hammer fishing podcast. We've been getting better guests on every single unbelievable show. I listened to last weeks with Dan Hardy, great interview and John Fett. Very funny. I love the fourth people you have and on the fourth guest hammer fishing.com., very funny. I love the fourth people you have on the fourth guest. Hammerfishing.com, you like funny,

you like MMA, go to riotcast.com, check out the podcast, and check out the new app. We got an amazing new iPhone iPad, and coming soon, Android app, riotcast.com. It's 12 podcasts over 12 hours of free podcasting a week. The app's free free the shows are free Everything on it's if you travel your truck driver the app is insane You can literally with a touch of a button with the three touches of a button

You can be listening to any of the shows and here's the best part is that all the shows that do go live Which we do sometimes when we do go live you have the app you're gonna get a push notification to your phone Robert Kelly's live right now you'll be able to listen on your phone. And if we have video, you'll be able to watch the video on your phone. That's pretty cool. So you gotta check this out. It's unbelievable.

Right cast app on iTunes. Android is coming soon, so don't fucking bug me. You fucking pissing nerds. It's coming. We got it. Honestly, I'm not lying to you. So make sure you check out that app. Kelly, what do you got?

I got my every two honestly, I'm not lying to you. So make sure you check out that app, Kelly. What do you got? I got my, my every two weeks show Queen Queen's at the Kuayard L House at 9 o'clock. And I got underbelly on the six, and I follow me on Twitter, K-E-L-O-I-F-A-S-D-U-C-A. Can I do you show sometime? Oh, I would love for you to do it. Okay. But it's not.

I don't even know you had a show. Not cool, Kelly. Not cool. Not cool. Not cool. Yeah. Uncomfortable. There's certain people at a level that I'm too scared to ask because if it's a bad show. Oh, she asked me. That's the level that I'm at. She asked me. Now you want to come back to my show? Yeah. There you go. I love when people make connections like that. I mean, I just I'm

figuring that is one of my favorite people, you know, to watch and Kelly sister question, you have an invagina or an alpha jina come on, let me smell it Just put it up against a window Welcome to America Let me smell that Let me smell your content Smell it. That is Meliacant. I live from Ilya.

Grady with C-Beef. You got Australian Yazoo Conte. Hurrah. I don't even know what that is. Hey, chain it back. Who are? And don't forget the Twitter handles and the Facebook handles, the YKWJ podcast. We videos and posters and we're little, little, little.

Look, check it out. Go to radcast.com for a merch stuff. We get a bunch of T-shirts. We sold a shid load of it at the W.J. podcast. We videos and posters and we're little alone. Look, check it out. Go to radcast.com for a merch stuff. We get a bunch of t-shirts. We sold a shitload of it at the show. T-shirts, we got original posters from the live show. I'm putting together another live show. We're gonna do another poster. We got a new poster.

We got all kinds of shit. Go to the merch page on radcast. Make sure you go and go to our Facebook page like the motherfucker. Hit like. Share. Make sure you go to Twitter account and our Instagram, but your YKWD podcast on Instagram. Yeah.

iTunes. Twitter. iTunes. We're reviewing iTunes. Oh yeah, that'd be great if you guys, I love that you guys are leaving. We've been in the top 100 for fucking a year. That's great.

I would love to get in the top 10 one day, but apparently that's on my shoulders to get more famous. So I'm trying Come on come on Bobby Yeah, I What else yeah, go to my new website robbercat alive.com. I got the new one coming up Check it out. I got all my shit up there. You know what else I get up there. I got my acting real Which I like I love it's me on Louis, it's a long order,

a couple of other things I did a scene with Mark Ruffio in a movie that was great. It has a little comedy. I have to check it out. You want to check out some of my acting. All my stuff, I got a whole brand new website. I got for you guys, robacadolive.com. Check out my dates and make sure you go to GameFlight.com.

GameFlight.com slash YKWD. Join two weeks free from our website you'll be supporting us supporting them and helping you guys out because it's the netflix of video games you can rent them use them return them or buy them and it's two weeks free and you cancel it anytime you help in the show out just do it who gives a shit you if you're a video game guy make sure you check that out gamefly dot com slash y YKWD. You got go to riotcast.com, check out all the other shows, which we love. What else, Kelly, anything?

If you want to send us gifts, this is the address, 676A9th Avenue, number 424, New York, New York 1, 0, 0, 3, 6. We get good stuff. Yeah, we get a bunch of stuff, man. We love Dan fry. We got the Dan fry card that Dan Soda got Beautiful Dan fry. I want to see it. It's awesome. That's great. We get the Patrice O'Neill picture. We got the the flood city City, USA We got a bunch of stuff you guys are great. Thanks for sending those gifts in keep sending them you guys are great. We are gone And those gifts and keep sending them you guys are great. We are gone Dude you can I feel like shit right now

You know I forgot about you Do you know why I forgot about you because you're a fucking Dude I am so sorry. I thought we got to you. No, it's okay. I just do quick. I know, don't do a quick, take your fucking time. All right, no. The 10th, I'm in Miami at the front. Listen dude, we gotta go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you up it. I don't know. Dude, what are you talking about? The door deal. I think we're putting ourselves up. Oh, well, that's even better. We're gonna have to. You think the boys have up. You know you're putting yourself up.

You know what? Lois, you just an asshole. That's why you, that's why nobody likes you. Because you, you really just fucking. I'm unlike that's why I have no comedy career. Anyway, you're very like. Stop saying. Lois is a good guy. You got a lot of anger and you're parents. You're good guy. They are both dead. Lucid guy. You got a lot of anger and you parents died. You're good guy.

It's a terrible death. Fries. Well, they did both. I know that's why I'm saying Jesus. But at least he's good. He can give his kid something he never had immediately. A living parent. A white mother.

I want to give my wife mother. Oh, my God. You are a success dad immediately As soon as your child is born I'm alive and your mother's wife I Amian Brab the 10th there's some tickets left and What's almost sold out is it? Oh what is it just one show one show and what is it you and who just me my character more Love it fucking character, you know what in that in that club. It's gonna kill. Oh, dude so many fucking beautiful

Spicks did you do my yeah Christ? Lewis how was it it was so that was amazing at grand Central love it dude. I love it I love it fuck you me you go you got to go see this show get the tickets is a few left Sell this motherfucker out Making a second show this character. Yannis is one of the funniest guys out there right now By the way, Yannis Yannis is the character Marisa's the real one. No Yeah, that was step on a one of the funniest fucking guys out there man, really unique guy One of the funniest fucking guys out there man, a really unique guy.

Halleri she got to check it out. So go ahead. And I just want to plug one more because I'm really excited about it. The 19th. I'm hosting for Stanhope in Syracuse. Wow. That's Alice theater. So get tickets on brown paper ticket. He's one of my all time favorites in heroes.

So please come out and see that. Right. Yes. Stanhope is great, man. That's going to be a great show. And I love stand up too, because he brings fucking a bunch of. He just picks. He picks a bunch of great people crazy for unique

motherfuckers to tour with him and he helps him out so that's great man. That's gonna be great show. Make sure you check it out. Y'all know she got a website or anything on Facebook. Ditchfilms.com. Ditchfilms.com. And what is the photo on your Twitter that's fucking freaked me out every time. What is it? My girlfriend took my girlfriend's a comic and I was like just I was

drying myself over my towel on my bed and she took a picture of me and I was trying to tell her no and she took a picture of me saying no and I look like I just look like a baby with a towel yeah you try yourself on the bed I was driving I said yeah it looks like it being raped on a pinball machine. I look everybody right now I just want to say take a moment to get a little serious before the end of the show you guys been great thank you so much for coming in Lewis I really you guys thank you so much but want to say take a moment to get a little serious before the end of the show. You guys have been great. Thank you so much for coming in Lewis. I really, you guys, thank you so much. But we can just take a moment right now and just say a prayer that please, please God make Lewis, Lewis's baby gay.

Everybody, our father of Wattenham, hello be thy name. I can come and I will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us a stay daily bread For the biggest touch us passes as we forgive those who trespass against us Let us hang out in some just mouth at you wait a minute It's not a temptation so all of us From removal please make Lewis's baby gay make the baby come out with a list in a fucking attitude Hi dad amen a with a lisp and a fucking attitude. Hi, Dad!

Amen. A, no. A muzzle tough. Dad, where's the dick? I'm gonna be a immediately dick. Immediately, where's the dick? I know she, she, she, she, his wife takes her tid out and she fucking goes right for Lewis' cock.

Ew! Did I get a new chance out of this? I don't wanna fucking your tittie. Please, I just wanna you to have a gay baby. Hispanic gays are the best. I just love to see you to go on your teddy. Please, I just want you to have a gay baby. Hispanic Gays are the best. I just love to see you to go to fucking dance recital, acting class, and fucking antique-ing. I'll see you guys later. You stinkin' stinkin' You know what you need Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

You know what you need For this fuck's sake, fuck's sake You know what you need Really dude, really, really, really I'm just gonna stick it. Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelas desde Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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