Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Well Fed

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

Yannis Pappas and Frank Liotti come in with Bobby to talk Pride month, History Hyenas secret language and Zak's real passion! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a clash to fire. It's podcast, it's no rule. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, that's so far. That was trying to keep it like a comic.

I have a bunch? Oh, that's a fuck! That was trying to keep it like a comic-can. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping sometimes. It's hilarious, sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin! That's how it all holds her. That's not a huge motherfucker.

I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know live. Live. Live. Live. Live right now. Um, okay, check it out. You know what, dude, is back. We got a great show. Who's on the show tonight? We have. Oh my God. I was doing Instagram stories for the podcast. Why can't you do podcasts on Instagram? Yes. We have Yannis Popus and we have Frank Liyode. I'm very excited about Yannis. And we were supposed to help Paul Verzi, but he had a son thing,

which of course I'm gonna lay out on that, because I have a kid. He's not at a concert. He's a son of a concert. Well, let's not get carried away. He's not a, he didn't have a concert like your dad has concerts. He had a thing.

Well, I'm assuming so because he's a child. Well, Max had a play last week. I didn't say he had a, you know, he's on Broadway. He's gonna play. Last week. What, what play? He played a turtle. He played a turtle?

Yeah. In what play? I made a play. It was a made a play for fucking five year olds in kindergarten. Yeah, he was great. At the end of everything, he went like this. And he tried to like stick his head out the curtain. That's cool. It was part of every stuck his head out the door. And he

was dead. He had the hat on. Yeah. The fucking best. Anyways, I want to say this Greg Gerardo. There's a book out. They did a book on him. Michael, can you read that for us? Greg drawl. It's a comedian story. And it says one of the centuries best comedians deserves a book. And we got read it, Mike. One of the centuries best comedians deserved a book, learn Greg Gerald's story from those who knew him best. Many know Greg Geroldo's work from Comedy Central Rose, late night television and comedy clubs. However, few comedy fans have heard the story of his days after Harvard Law School ascension to cult comedy icon and premature demise from his addiction. Yeah, listen, he was one of the best to walk the fucking earth.

Really, truly, this guy was highly intelligent, but highly hysterical. More than anything, he's very, very funny. Yeah, two of the best albums ever. Yeah, I mean, he's fucking, he's just, I mean, listen to his albums. They still hold up their fucking evergreen. He's so hilarious. So please go and get his book right now. You can get it in Amazon. It's Greg Jorado comedian story. Go get it. Right now, go get that fucking things.

Awesome. Check out laughable.com. Where is he sitting before he sits? Wait, Gabby, where is he sitting? I'm right over here back there. You sit with your backpack. What the honest is sitting right there. Don't put that right now. Now, see he's already coming in, taking over. I don't like it. I don't like it, Frank. Sit down and have some fucking, no, what's up, buddy?

How you doing, pal? How you doing? What I'm good? Oh my God, listen to that voice. Talking on the microphone now. I'm talking to the microphone. Can you hear yourself? I'm your headphones the microphone now. I'm talking to the microphone. Here you stand, Bob. And your headphones are right there too.

Yeah, we just talk about Gerardo's book is out. They're doing a thing around the corner. There he is. Yana's pop-ass. One of the motherfuckers. What? No, you have my producer. I just say you off.

You want to trigger me? I should have walked in here with a falafel. Yeah. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel.

I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel.

I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have walked in here with a falafel. I should have peaceful. Why are there mics so low? Can you please fix that Zach? You mother of fowl. Sorry.

I'm a rock. I wear the shirt now. This helped me out a lot. Saying I'm a rock, I'm a rock, I'm a rock, I'm a rock. When I get angry. What language is that? That is English. English.

It's English. Anyhow. Talk about Gerardo's book. You guys know each other, right? Yeah. Yes. We've had sex, yeah. You guys fought.

I'm a writer. And then we found out we were both comics. And then married. Yeah. And I got married and just ruined me. Yeah. So you didn't even know you were comics when you banged? No. Now we banged first and then we saw each other at the Grizzly Parade. The only place I worked. There were still an accepting Italians. His family never would have accepted me as an involved. Now, the problem was you look Middle Eastern. That is true. So it's kind of a problem with, but my father thought that he was a muzzle. A muzzle? Yeah, I love that. Yeah, he does look a little more Middle Eastern. A game muzzle. I would have to set myself on fire. You would. To do the right thing.

Is there any other? Muslim is a cheap fabric. Muslim is the sector religion that wants to set me on fire because I'm gay. That's correct. Yeah. That's right. I get confused. So when you guys met on Grindr, were you just bored and jumped on Grindr and then he was there? I'm a Greek kid.

Yeah. Bobby. Yeah, I know. So certain things are genetic. Yeah, you like it. You guys invented it. I know. I was out of lexapro and my, you know, medicines wore off and my penis came back.

So the timing was right. Yeah. It was timing was right. Yeah. It was meant to be. It was a moment that was meant to be. What night was it? Like, what night of the week? Like a Tuesday, a Friday.

Nailed it. Tuesday. Yeah. I call that, yeah, gay night for me. That's right. I try something different on Tuesdays. It's a Tuesday. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my day. That's your Tuesday night is gay day. That's my gay day. Yeah. I love gay day. So one day to just get it out and then go back to be in straight these six days of the week.

Six days of week. I mean, it should be that's where you should eat. You should eat healthy 90% of the time and then the shitty 10%. Spend the wheel on that day. Yeah. And do that with sex. Yeah. So you spawn the wheel. You take out your grinder app. Yeah. Was it afternoon day, late night? When did you break? When did you go? I mean, you just say, fucking, it's Tuesday. It's gay day. Let's just go all day. So fucking it's Tuesday. It's gay day. I borrowed a stock photo of somebody's abs to put up us in my profile pic. Okay. Because I don't know if you've been on Grindr. There are no faces. It's all apps. It's a lot of apps. Yeah. It's a lot of apps. It was an afternoon affair.

Yeah. And once I saw that he didn't have apps, I felt even better because I didn't have to have sex with my shirt on like I usually do. Right. You fuck with your shirt on. Oh, yes. Swim fuck. Everything. Shower. We had to lift each other's guts so we could dock. Right. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Now, now when did you meet at your house, his house? Park wasn't it was a park Washington square park. Yeah. There's no place to fucking park. Oh, there are plenty of places to fucking park.

Not in Washington square park. There's something as a gay guy. It's like, it's like a whale looking for plankton. We'll fucking find it. We'll find that corner. And the addicts in the park are very easy to move because they're docile. They're not really, you know, president. They're high. They're not heroin and they're sluggish. They're they're docile in New York.

But could you pretend like you're one of the addicts like nodding off into another guy's cock? Is that your thing? I'm just spitball. I'm not. I don't have gay Tuesdays. I've never done it. I'm not Greek. I'm Italian. Yeah. And I'm married. So I haven't done it.'m just spitballed. I'm not, I don't have gay Tuesdays. I've never done it. I'm not Greek, I'm Italian. Yeah. And I'm married, so I haven't done it, but I'm spitballing. Like if I was to do it, and I was gonna go to the park,

maybe I'd pretend I was on heroin. Yeah. And I could, that way, that will fall right into my deck. So, yeah. It's not cheating if it's a different sex. Yeah. It's totally fine. I like that.

It's only cheating if you're married to a woman who's cheating, if you're just leaving with a woman, and vice versa. So now you guys afternoon, you find a corner of the park, you start fucking docking. Yeah. You're docking. That's how we start. I didn't know what I was doing.

It's obviously, it's not a thing, gay guys do a lot, but it was my first time. So I just thought we were supposed to ram our Dixon to each other. He was in very experienced things. So you read it. So you're not supposed to ram your dicks into each other. I was trying to rip. So it's not like a robot game, like a destroy, like with two robots going ahead. What is that called?

What is that show called hungry hippo? No. Battlebox. My battle box is not battle box. Well, you can't do it right, but it's not like a preferred method. Dawkins not my go to because I'm not on circumcised, but he just took to it like a like a moths of flame. Are you on circumcised? I was plugging my phone in. Are you on circumcised? How much circumcised? Yeah. So you have a shuffle. Yeah, I got a little mushroom head,

but yeah, my penis. My penis is limp. It does look like a mini pumpkin. Yeah, looks like a mini pumpkin. It looks like you balls. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a grower. I'm not a shower. I have that too. It's horrible. A locker room. Yeah, you got to be a grower. You get your leg and then go out. Yeah, it's like a mushroom after a fucking rain storm in the locker room. It's horrible. Yeah, I been very, since I got bigger, since we're talking about this. I didn't notice. I hope you die of AIDS.

I was just sad. I didn't use... I am. I'm a rock sucker. I've only been friends with you in this last stage. What do you mean? I never knew you when you were like... Bloody, you're crazy.

We knew each other like... Would you look like Tampa you look like Tampa Florida Bobby Bobby you knew me in 2006 Nobody yeah, buddy. No, but when we were over here. Yeah, that was 2010. No. Yeah First time I came on an actually actually know it. I think it might have been 2011 or 12 No, I came on you and you're yeah, you've maybe you're forgetting but you've been

bigger Since then I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fuck you. I was trying to figure out the nice way to say it. I didn't know. You were a bigger, bigger is better. Hang on a second. Hang on one, I want to just fuck and stop you and you tracks because I want to, What is this guy going to play harmonica?

Here's a play, he has a monkey. And he just turns the side of a box. I just think he's got a harmonica in his back pocket. It's that hat. Yeah. But he loves Johnny Depp's earlier work. It's in Tom Waits. I know you try to do.

You try to go over here. Yeah. But I'm on you motherfucker. Oh, you know, listen, you're not so fuck, you're not what Yannis was. Miami Yannis. I so fat. You got married. Yeah. And you had your little vacation and you were dancing with the shirt off. I think a little jiggly. A little. I love your. Yannis is my goal weight. Are you kidding me? I can't

get to that till like 2000 till I'm dead. I'll decompose a little bit. Be when he weighs. I'd like to be Mike's waist. I'm you telling me. Yeah, I I never I never thought I'd say that. I want to be I want to be as fat as the Mexican. I know. Um, can you say that? Shut that door so that guy can live. Is there a guy in there?

There's a guy in there. Yeah. Um, anyways, the, um, behind the curtain. Like, what's your, you can do whatever you want. Is it Tuesday? It's Tuesday. Go pick it.

It's the day. It's like the wizard of guys. We should fuck after the show. She's gonna shoot on me again. I can't stand it being triggered. What if we just fucked on the show? You know popular the show would be. Yeah, just three comics just fucked each other. It is pride month. Yeah. It's pride month. Yeah. When did they get the month? Wasn't it a day? June? Wasn't it a day? It was a day. And how do you get a month? I think they a day? June? Wasn't it a day? It was a day. And how do you get a month? I think they got to be, they got another day for like every million that were murdered, I think, or they got another day.

Yeah. And the Trans people have really taken it out, like since they included the tea and LGBT breading toward the beer. That's fucking fun. Pretty soon it's going to be gay pride here with all the Trans Channers. We're just going to change That's fucking funny. Pretty soon it's gonna be game-pride here with all the trend channels. We're just gonna change all flags and be rainbow. Why did you say that? That Boston came out of you a little bit.

You were a little disgusting. When did it become a fucking month? That's my, that's my reaches. That's my tone. I actually have always been in favor of the gays. You're not. I don't care. I think if they have a yearays. And I don't care. I think if they have a year or a month, I don't give a shit. What's so bad about that?

I never understood the hatred for gay guys or gay women or a gay anything. I just don't get it. It's just I've never, they might be a little country wants to know why, but I've never seen them. You know, like I had that joke a miracle a long time ago, there was a gay bar across here for my house. If that was a regular bar, there'd be fights every night, there'd be the cops out there, there'd be, you know, some girl, Tony put the knife away. There was gay guys, there was no noise ever. Just when they opened the door, but like you spend me right and then they'd show

it and then quiet again. Yeah. No, you're right. About most gays except Tim Dylan, he's a different type of guy. Yeah, but Tim Dylan, he's a type of guy who will, he'll type a guy who will start a war and kill a local population. Dude, he's a hybrid. Yeah. He's like, yeah, he's a hybrid. He's a monster.

Yeah, he's a hybrid guy. He was made by the, the Republicans. I was just going to say he was built by the Republican party. He was built under the, under the White House, there's a laboratory, like seven layers down and that's where they built. He got out. It's like those outside basement doors that you kind of, that's how they let them in and out. We're going to make a loud fat gay guy.

Yeah. Who loves this country? He didn't infiltrate the gay community. Yeah. I don't think Tim's gay. Let's say that. I've never seen him. I've never seen him do anything gay. One of the funniest lines I got to give Chris, you know, Chris Laker. Chris Laker is me. Yeah. Yeah. One of the funniest things he said was that when they roasted me at the creek in the cave years ago, and he said James Adobe and you know James Adobe and. No. Well, he's kind of like that too.

Like you can't tell you can't tell. You can't tell. You can't tell. You can tell. And Chris ordered him by the way. He's not out. Chris, you know that. Yeah, he's like, this way.

Yeah. To what? That I tell you. That I like Salami? I'm Italian. I'm so glad. Yeah. He said that he was molested gay, which was, he's like, I don't even know how to real gay.

You were molested gay, which I thought was funny. Yeah. I remember when Stupid Keith was on known podcast when the seller was getting the tack for not having you know, uh, women or gay comics or whatever. And uh, but Keith was there and he was going out and then live on the fucking air and Keith going, we got gay college, we got boom. And then no, what's that was a guy? He's not out of the closet.

He didn't know me. He just outed him. He's like, oh, we got banged. You have him too, just out of him. Fucking live on a podcast. You know, the three comedians that have beeped him on this fucking old jackass. It's just outing guys that in confidence. It's like, you know, I'm gay.

Who did he out? No, can't tell you. But I need to know that I have support in this community. Yeah, I don't need a mod. Are there, do people still do that? They're still in the closet? Yeah, look at, look at, there's someone now who's apparently very,

who's very prevalent and is on Netflix and whatnot. Chris, Stephanie. He won't come out. Chris is out. She's out. Stephanie? Yeah, Stephanie. Oh, yeah, now we're.

I'm gonna pitch his of his dick right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to, does he ever send you any of the pictures that people send him? Yeah, yeah. It's unbelievable. What a what a thing. I mean, women just send him like he can. Man, I mean the men.

Men too. Yeah, he gets this one guy send up a picture because if you ever want to crack open and clean out a guy and it was just a. Oh my god. Stop, stop, stop. I don't know what that means. That's our that's our expression for. That's right. Thanks someone out. Crack someone open and clean clean them out history. Hyenas. It's on this network. It's the best

Slip in these plugs Fucking give me a one of the best podcasts on the network right now Fucking a most original podcast out there and the fucking best one on the network And it's gonna go to fucking big high places to Two of the funniest guys in the country on that show and Zach runs it and mush is on it too, coming up behind. We have different names on there. Yeah, you do.

And what are the names on there? That's emoji facing Zach Isis. Well, I'm gonna switch it over to Owl. The Owl. He does that. That Owl in your backyard is mush. Did you see that? I had an Owl on the backyard and I was talking

and I was like, mush, we gotta get Instagram going and then I just told you the was talking and I was like, much, we gotta get Instagram going. And then I just told you the owl is a, you know, hmm. Yeah, so good. Who, I forgot what we're talking about. Oh, we're talking about Chris, Chris and he,

I think honestly, God, can we be honest about this? Yeah. Chris is by. I think Chris is really straight. That's what I think. I think he's, I think he's five fucking percent gay. No, he's just so comfortable with his sexuality. Yeah, he's super straight. That's why I think I think he's I think he's five fucking percent gay. No, he's just so comfortable with the sexuality. Super straight. One of my close friends is talking his phone.

What about this? How do you tell this? Here's something just me just shacking his. But you know, since it's a finite universe, you know, it's like you can't you can only go so far before you come back to the other side. You know, I mean, it's like the game is Pac-Man, Mr. Pac-Man or whatever. So it's like Chris is so straight. I could end up coming back around the other side because he's so straight. Chris, I got to see what happened to Chris.

He's going to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Get boarded around. How old is Chris? 20, 35. 35. 35. Around 49. He's going to be in somewhere. Sad, depressed.

Not as far. Kind of going, but not as, and he's going to be in somewhere sad depressed not as fun kind of good but not as and he's going to a fucking suck some old guy's cock in the room next door. He's gonna open that door in the room. He's gonna open his gonna be some fucking like a gym teacher type dude. Hey, what's up? He's gonna be nothing. He's gonna call you dude. I fucked up. Yeah, I fucked up what and I'm gonna be like it's okay man, you needed to feel again you were no Yeah, you're gonna like just what is you know Tuesday He doesn't does a man doesn't count it's So funny every time he practiced on me I never made the connection of the day

Yeah, yeah, I just want to for wish for like tongue technique or something like that. That would work. Well, it is a good question though. Who the fuck? We don't. Hey guys, no, we don't, but we don't care. And nobody gives a fuck. No, even the people that really gave a fuck don't care anymore.

They're still fucking backwards places, man. Yeah. City's pretty advanced, but like Boston doesn't give a fuck. Even the hardest Boston guys, like I don't give a fuck. Yeah. My brother's gay. My everybody has somebody gay. I feel like the more so.

Scott and it has been Philly more so than Boston along my list. Take him into everybody. Something about Philly, it's just not give it to just kind of shut down when it gets to that joke. They're animals. Just kind of like, you say on stage, you're gay. Yeah. Why? Yeah. So that I fucking, I say that I'm gay that I identify as a fucking praying mantis so I can get on stage more. I identify as a praying mantis born in Japan,

but feeling Romania. It's uncripled. Yeah. But it must be, I mean, you have an Italian family, right? Yeah, they're dead, but yeah. All of them? Pretty much. I have one sister left. You don't have your mom and dad? No. They're taking that badly. No.

Your mom and dad are gone. Yeah, come on. Three months apart. Bobby. I've heard them all. I'm literally talking about it. I know, but it was good. That's when I started standing up.

My father and my mother three months later. Hold your parents' death thing for a second. I'm sorry, Mike. What was the joke? It was pretty good. They took it that badly. That was good. Yeah, that was good.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Right. Let's set it up again. Your parents dead? Oh, yeah. They knew you were gay. They did.

They took it that badly. They did. Sorry. Sorry. That was it. They took it that badly. He exists. What's the wall? That's his character. I know. I know. Tell me how to treat. I know she's mine. I know he's yours. You I learn mush out. Oh, listen. I know. Listen to me. I know. I'll take you. You want mush back? You want to eat mush? You want. I these I'll take them back. We need both of them. All right. Good. Yeah. Please we call them Frank some beans and we need a Show I'll lose W show. Yeah, I got gabs. Don't matter. I got gabs. Yeah, you're not gonna do the video right gabs. No

But I'll learn I will learn nobody's taking Zach away from me. How fucking murder people for Zach? What's going to take Zach away is his rap career. He can rap for real. Like he's good. What he's touring. He's really good. Yeah. No, it's the problem.

That's you are. Zach, put your microphone on please. I want to talk to you. Mike, Zach, we also call him tattoo fingers. Why? Yeah, it's a tool. I get it's correct. Zach. Yeah, Zach. Yeah. You're my sound guy and your mic's not on. Could you please turn your mic on?

Yeah, this is embarrassing for you. Hello, high Chris. Hi, Chris. How are you? Zach? Who is this kid Chris? Cause he fuck he's a boss and looking fucking. Oh, he's not. He's from here, right? You're from you're from Boston originally. I'm from Quincy, kid. Look at that fucking guy. Fuck you, dude. Very funny guy. And one of the greatest graphic designers we've met. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking great. But he's funny too. Very funny. Looks like he's got fucking oxy toe. I need to score some oxy. Yeah. Don't ever bring him to your house late at night because he's laughful fucking fucking

neighborhood. What is it, I wanna hear it. That's the worst. It'll come, you'll know. No, it'll come. Trust me, it's coming. You can't make it through. And Becky, what's that back?

What are you doing? How you doing? Good to see you. You know, back, right? Yeah, of course. That's the best. Okay, so here we go. Zach, real quick, yes.

You're a rapper. I am, yeah. You have a rap album. I have a song, you know, but where is it? It's on a sound load. Let's I want to hear it right now. You're going to be shocked. I'm going to I'm going to text the link to Mike.

Mike has it right there. Yeah. I've never heard it. You're going to be shocked. Listen to me. I've never heard this. Oh, yeah, that's it. That's just a clip of it.

If you want the full thing, I want the full thing. Oh, that's the clip. I want the full thing history. I mean, the full thing podcast Oh, that's the clip. I want the full thing history. Hi, he's a full thing podcast. Mike Michael, you got to text me. I got a special comment. Stop get your finger off the button.

My Mike's has his finger on the button and he's trying to push it. No, I want the whole thing. It's really fucking good. It's cold in here. Can we turn on the heat? I know, dude. It's yeah, because we got to we listen. We we we got to get a new AC guys.

Remind me to get the AC. We got the wrong AC. I got the, someone told me to get the Bluetooth instead of the high power, AC. And I got the Bluetooth one that works and nobody uses. Yeah. And it stinks. So I got to get a new AC.

I'm fine. The windows open. You're a Greek. You're used to it. Any of it's Tuesday. Yeah. Used to be a wet and slimy today is Tuesday. Time to spend the wheel. Just the pretend you're in prison. Yeah. I can't believe it's the actual rapper. Yeah.

You're actually actually when the first time we played it, I was like, we were expecting we were going to not hold back about what we thought. And he's just good. Do you know, did that to me? Okay. I'm going to tell you this. Out in front of the fucking seller years ago, Patrice was alive, had to be, but 13 years, maybe 12 years ago, Billy Burr, Keith, Norton, Cav, little Cav,

Cav and Hard, Patrice, me, and all the other comics, Out Front, and this dude was like, yeah, I can rap. I was like, get the fuck, Get the fuck the door guys. We're like, God, any rap, he freestyled this motherfucker. We all flipped out. Who was it? Joe DeRosa. Yeah, he can, which is wild. What is a talented kid? Yeah. He can also sing and he can, he's a talent, a talented, adopted kid. Joe DeRosa. Yeah. I don't know who his parents were, but yeah, he is he fucking blew the doors off. We were like, what the fuck? Joe, the roast is a versatile talent.

Yeah, versatile talent. Why'd you have a hard time with that? Because that was figuring out what I was going to say. You got it. Yeah. Did you get it? Let's go. Yeah.

Listen, you're going to be able to do this. This is crazy. I you get it? Yeah. You're going to be able to this is crazy. I put it on the computer. Mike. He wraps with a jazz band. Yeah. How many instruments in the jazz band, Zach? There's, there's like 12 to 14. I don't need to give him time. wraps with them. I don't understand this. This is my world is being flipped upside down right now. Yeah. The problem is that's the thing thing, I want to do good because I love Zach, but he's really a big part of our podcast now. So I'm gonna have to figure out a way to stifle this fucking career.

He's not going anywhere. Let's get him to stop. He's not going anywhere. He can rap and do his tour and do our podcast. You gotta do it all, Zach. That's why I got Mike fucking telling him, I got Mike ghosted him. Yeah, just in case.

Yeah, because Zach's gonna tell us to fuck off. You've got enough fucking take that computer with you, cocksucker. He's got him a new computer. He's gonna pick it up tomorrow because you're threat on a Sunday. He's cock suckin' threat. He's threatin' you know.

Gabby, I get on it. I'm with my family on a Sunday. I got a threatening fucking text message. What is that? It's from Yannis Poppuss. Yes. It wasn't an overt text, but. I got a threatening fucking text message from Janice pop. Yeah, it was it an overt text, but it was definitely a passive aggressive text. What did I get the message? So you got my message in five.

I called you up and fucking I did that fucking. He's just joking. I did not threaten him at all. I was just asked, no, I did it. That's the way you see it because you're defensive and you're from Boston. You got issues. Now, I'll tell you what it was. Babe, calls me babe.

I got a different grissy. even you're from Boston, you got issues. Now I'll tell you what it was. Babe calls me babe. I got a different Chrissy. It calls everyone babe. You don't call me fucking babe. Let me just say how funny. It's on my happy mother's day. It's on mother's day. I'm trying to.

Oh my God. And you know what time I said 1146. I'm sitting there with Dawn having a family day this clock So I got we're screwed in we got to get things done Zack says he needs a laptop. What can we do to make this happen? It's really needed we are willing to chip in if necessary passive aggressive I was so fucking mad What did he say back? I called him out. Yeah, I fucking, I go listen.

You're nice. No, you're not. I go, you know, I wasn't. I called you out. I go, listen, you fuck. You don't fucking call me on a fucking mother's day and give me orders. You cock sucker.

I'm on it. I get the fucking laptop. That's right. And then he goes, no, I just need a laptop. I go, it's going great. You see what I did. If you use that, I put my life on the line for you. So I'm like, please, I just need to laptop. I go, it's going great. You see what I did. If you Zach, I put my life on the line for you.

So I'm like, at least you can do is get our fucking podcast up on time. I have this week was rough. Yeah, he's actually been good recently. Yeah. Well, we're working on communication with Zach. Yeah. Zach has a communication issue. Yeah. Right, Zach? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're working on attack. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And you're shaving more, right, Zach? Yeah. Yeah, while we're working on a tack. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, and you're shaving more, right, Zach?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, great. Nobody wants to see a fucking Harry Muslim rapper. Nobody wants that, Zach. Yeah. Speak careful. Kids doing jujitsu. You don't want to toss a little of them right now.

I wouldn't toss a wazak, even if he did jujitsu. He has instinctual choking kill skills. Yeah. All right, here we go. Listen, this is Zach. I've never heard this. This is going to blow me away. It's me.

Is this the one you played for me, Zach? Yes, there's no question at will. It's actually kind of nuts. OK, here we go. We live for right. And watch them ends beside. I'm going to say off the bat I don't like this. I mean, it doesn't sound like Zach. Well, that's not him. Yeah, that's not me. Oh, that's not you. No, wait. I was going to say, you're trying a little to hard. I was getting a little freaked out. So that's not you that's somebody else. Yeah, that's my

friend. Okay, is he a skinny black guy? No, it's a guy. That's a guy. Yeah, that's a guy. What's it look like? He's small Brazilian man. Oh, what an easy freaky. Let's go. I The green me creeping on me make it big when I'm doing we all eating and we gonna slay Did it the idea turn the run the ways happy just a little tonight and see another day From my nephews I'm a kill for you and life is so much more still to do I will feed you and pass them all the mail to us so well that I might just see me getting killed And the news is I gotta keep it a honey you wanna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time

I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time

I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna do it that time I'm gonna do it that time, I'm gonna die You got it, you got it, you got it, you get you You got it, you got it, you got it, you get you And what I said back up working in the city Then make it in Pages This rap I'm rather not listening Cause all this shit, whack off Killing the business, rich and shit I'm gonna shit, I'm gonna shit

I'm like the litigal parties I can't tell the difference I said it's getty cheesy You know I never held you And I looked at them back up I'd be writing a step asleep And all these rappers by their lyrics And I'm saying them me Cause if it's wack shit You know they didn't get it from me Yeah I'm about the truth that's why we shooting these clowns Shout out to Smiley, take it right and thinkin' that we ain't gonna fight

I got the dream of making my life just right I'm waiting up where you live to ride Yo, what up, boss, boss, boss Yo, you got boss, son Dye Dye me Just a bad feeling in the corner of your life We got a little blind bitch A little blind, a little blind I

So good yeah, Chris hang on one second Mike you you gotta listen. I want you to come in on Mondays And learn everything exact Because we have a week's I know it's bad. He's bad. He's looking at me, Mike. Don't fuck around. Zach, what the fuck? Zach. Yeah. That's all you've said to me, our whole lives.

Yup. And, uh, fucking Zach the new guy. I love you. I love you. Oh, Zach, I love you too, but you're fucking your grace. Oh, thank you. Free Sal about Bobby right now Bobby came in from the lobby

Okay, you know, it's lobby, but he's Bobby come on man I'm just it rhymed. I went with it to my producer Zach is the man inside the fucking room He doesn't have a hat to make this zoom Happening he's got the clipboard in front of him with what? I was Oh, I don't break the cycle, Bob. Well, someone made a fucking noise. It was the kid in the fucking Justin Timberlake, Cash. Yo, I'm fucking I'm I'm I'm bad. I'm good.

Yo, I'm Caucasian. Definitely not Asian. Call me put a rickus slice. You like Jason Basin on the microphone. That's what I wrote when I was 12 years old. Yeah, but I was 14 when I came at you like this now I'm 48 and I got to take a piss every five seconds or two. I got to wake up in the middle of the night at three or four in the morning, my kids coming in yawning. I got to get them up for school, get his food inside his belly

and I got to tell them all the stuff without any yelling because you can't hear them. You can't, you can't scream. All you gotta do is give them a dream and pass them on to the world and hope he makes it all right. But that's why I gotta fight to make this dream stay alive. I love my man's act, but Bobby's the motherfucker who can rap all night.

No, because you make it be all right. You make it be tonight. Yeah, big pun watch. I'm on the next album is that fuck this podcast shit. Well, you can't have one. Yeah. What you say? I slipped in a joke. You missed that joke. Yeah, I don't miss any fat joke ever. I just, I chose to ignore that one. No, but you look, you look like you slimmed up, you look good. Listen to me. I'm being serious, Bobby. I'm trying to say nice thing, you look good.

Yeah, but I don't like boss thing. I don't like boss. Okay. I said, well, they'll jumpy joke and then you'd be nice. That's a very boss thing. It's abusive. Yeah, it's abusive. That's what you call abusive.

I was really trying to wink him on, you trying should have come with a rap dude who me? Yeah, no I was just thinking of when bosses gum fell in my hummus at the comedy so Standing at the end of the table I can't rap no, I can't sex sounds like genuine black. I can't do that I'm from Long Island I'm from Long Island. Hey, I don't think you have to. I don't think. Welcome, everybody. Talk like that when they wrap it.

Like you just like these. I don't think that's the point. No, that's like saying every gay, every gay guy sucks out today. And I no longer can be a homosexual, because my ass exploded and I'm gay. I'd rather, I say I can't do it. Yeah, I just like to say, I listen to rock and roll

when I play a guitar. I mean, you tell, you can play the guitar. You can't watch him does Instagram videos now. It's saying he can play do it. I'm like, I'm a thing. I listen to rock and roll when I play a guitar. You can play the guitar. You can't watch him does Instagram videos. Now it's saying you can play the guitar. I don't have a follow-up on Instagram. Thank you. Do you say, I said thank you to Jonas.

I thought you'd be humble. There's a lot of talented people in this room right now. And I think we just need to appreciate that. I think we just need to find something else to do other than stand up comedy. Yeah. Yes. I want to become a professional amateur chess player while laying in bed at night. So that's the other thing I like to do besides comedy.

Oh, yeah. That's great. Yeah. Tuesdays, I like to really just grind her. Tuesday's a big day. Yeah, Tuesday's a big day. Right.

Have you ever gone grinder? I've never gone on grinder. My brother's gay. I've seen his grinder alerts on hisr. My brother's gay, I've seen his Grindr alerts on his phone. Your brother's gay? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Top shelf too.

Top shelf. What's that mean? He's, you know, a list gay. A list gay. Yeah. Like Johnny Walker blue gay. Yeah. He sells Manhattan real estate gay.

He's just like, you know, he's, you know, his circle. Yeah. That gay. He's an elite circle. He's not. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like, really? Yeah. Wow. He's like smart, educate my, my brother. I believe, you know, I believe, educate went to Oxford, brown, tuff's Georgetown law. What happened to you? Wow.

Because not my saying that as an insult because I, I think I'll, I'll give you my opinion about you. If you want it. I'm stupid. No. Compared to the fuck you, I think you're very smart. I love your Instagram videos. I love when you go and rants, the things you write. I think you're actually wasting your time doing stand-up. I think that if you did, I think if you put something, you could go.

That was a very nice way of saying I'm not funny, by the way. You're hilarious. You killed. No, you got so many other talents. No, maybe lead into the, yeah. I think if you wrote a one man show, you would fucking know that's the sign of failure. Yeah. A one man show was one more year and I'm doing one.

I'm calling Quinn that. No, that's different. I'm like a bigly of that. Yeah, but that's different. Why is that different? Because they're successful. No, they got successful. Look at the other circles.

That's, that's, you know, not a good thing in here. Listen, yeah, but we're not talking gay circles. We're talking the comedian. But that's the problem. A one-man show is totally gay and not like anal gay, like black shoes with white socks gay. I'm telling you to use that one. Like a calling Quinn type thing.

I don't want to see him out there with a turban talking about his, you know, fucking his mom or his, you know, whatever. Why would you wear a turban? I don't want to see him out there with a turban talking about his, you know, fucking his mom or his, you know, whatever. I don't know. I just said it. I fucked up. I was afraid. But why would you call me out? It's okay.

Maybe he was conditioning his hair. So he put a turban on. So, so, so you think that one man shows a gay? Yeah. It's like whenever any of us, like, you know, and I went to all these stupid acting schools with a BFA and an MFA and stuff like that. And whenever somebody didn't get an agent, they would say, do a one person show when it's kind of like, all right. Did you do one? No. No. I never did one. Really?

You should. That's not really the way thing. I'd rather be a beautician. I'd rather be a beautician. I'd rather be a beautician. Yeah, you just do comedy now. Yeah, yeah. What did you do before comedy? I was an actor. I went to drama school at Yale and before that purchase.

And it was hard. I was always unhappy doing it. Why? Because it was always some mafia guy and I had a like it was there was always the same thing or in theater they would say well you're not a person of color and this character is Hispanic and I would say well see me for the white guy then it was always so PC and I felt like I was always on the outside of it. And then my parents died and I was brave enough to start stand up.

They did it they got at the same time. Three months of poor yeah. Would a Dominican Republic got a hotel? was brave enough to start stand up. They did it. They got at the same time. Three months of poor. Yeah. Would a Dominican Republic got a whole town? No, it's just that he said no when he said no when she wanted him to go down on her. It's really just they were tough, you know, a two day. It was a two's day. She did anal like she was supposed to.

How did they? If you know what I'm talking about, you know, it's fine. It's fine. He had a stroke and then she had cancer. Wow. He had a stroke when he found out that she had cancer. It was crazy. They were together for 60 years.

Oh, shit. He's 60 years. And then I started stand up both Italian, both Italian. And then a year, three months into stand up, my best friend of 32 years committed suicide. Oh, my God. I wish I had the god. I wish I had the story. Why? I wish I had one person show. I wish I was one of my friends who were fucking fuck you. You do a one-man show, but I just got shitty friends. Keith Vovosy, Northern, any one of them. He committed suicide. She, yeah. How she doing?

She pulled up on the grass on Northern Saiparkway and got out and walked into the traffic and lied down. Oh, my God. Yeah. She's crazy. She's crazy. Well, they say that they say that schizophrenics do it in a way that's going to take. You know, I'm saying they pick like a violent way. Yeah, you know, he's pulling me away about people who commit suicide is, a lot of people do it where it might not work, like you might have a second chance, like leave it up to fate.

If you really want to kill yourself, you know, just go jump into a great white shark's mouth. Yeah, that's simple as that. I had a friend I grew up with, he was paranoid, he jumped in front of a train eventually. Wow, I think the, do you think the violence of it is because they're tortured so long as a little anger behind

like they just want to end it. Why is it that's doing it? I mean, in her case, they call them auditory hallucinations. Yeah. And they say that those voices that they hear are a horror that's beyond our understanding. I'm not finished. I'm just getting understand. I'm finished. You know, talk to my ass. Fuck off. He But we just can't understand that I'm finishing. I'll talk to my ass.

Come on. Fuck off. He can hear us now. No, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Run. Run. Yeah. That's a that's a nightmare to have that. It's brutal because your brain is just there's something wrong with your brain. It's just off and they get your right. What would you rather have eight or schizophrenia? Eight. Eight. Five, rather have second. I'd rather have both. Are you at the same time? Yeah. your other V just get so friend here. Eight. I'd rather have second. I'd rather have both. I you cut the same time.

Yeah. I want skin. I want skit so a well, I can't they, um, I'll take eight. Can't they give you electric shot treatment and just reset your from the fucking 18 century. Buddy, I'm going to get you just fix

the witch stuff too. Just put them on some fucking twigs and burn them. That fix is the witch out of them. Can I tell you some? Yeah. Yeah. Buddy, I'm going to, I think you just fixed the witch stuff too. Just put them on some fucking twigs and burn them. That fix is the witch out of them. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Because I'm not smart at this. Yeah. And I'm not, I don't want to sound like I know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Right. But you're, you don't, and I want to just tell you because I just found out recently too, that they still do electric shock treatment. It's not called that anymore, but what that does and it helps a lot of people with depression and mental issues. It's almost like unplugging your computer for 10 seconds and plugging it back in. I swear to God, they still do it all the time. It's called something else.

Electrical convulsive therapy. That's what it's called. They do it. And it works. It fucking works. I know two people that had it, one, change the guy's fucking life. Really? Yeah, because it. And another guy has told me about it. And he said that his father-in-law changed his life. Yeah. They just don't call it that anymore. But they, they hook you up. They don't put the rubber thing in your mouth. You're not in a basement. Right. They put you under anesthesia now. Yeah, they put you on an anesthesia and they, it kind of resets your brain. I wonder if you get a boner when they do it to you. Probably, right? Like if you get electrocuted like that, I wonder if I wonder if my penis would get hard again. I don't really not working anymore. There's a pills. Yeah. It's gone. Gone.

Orca. Like the pro and well but you're trying myide depressions. Gone. I don't even want it. Why don't you try this? Because this works. What's over my shoulder? Electric. Why don't you try this? He's pointing over my shoulder. Electric convalesive therapy.

It works on depression and people. Instead of taking medication when you dig down work, you could do this. Try this. I mean, I don't even like to go to six flags. I don't know if I was going to get on that fucking. Well, it's four people who wear the other stuff doesn't work at all.

So it's like your last chance. What do you have to tell us? Try that. Let's read the rest. Oh, okay. He's just reading. That's fine. What's it like?

Well, butchering in like Supra. Do you like it? It's better. Yeah. Really, really, really a lot better. Do you like it? It's better? Yeah. Yeah. Really, really, really. A lot better. What's it do?

Hang on one second. Can you just tell Godfrey to shut the fuck off of us? It's a good place. It's one of them. It's a good place. It's one of them. Yeah. Go ahead.

We need a way ofqing but on this podcast Bobby just went full Boston I made comedians oh sure you did Must be Jim Gaffigan. I don't care. You don't care what you guys did with it. I was talking comedians. Sure you are. Sounds like Monroe. That sounds more like Monroe Martin to me. It sounds like more like a Monroe Martin Derek Ains party. Shana. All right. God.

That was just ask what? Yeah, about Lexica and Wellb, you can. Okay. What does it feel like? Okay, so here's the thing. I kind of, I remember like being in grad school and sitting in like just, it's, I don't know, on some kind of break sitting in some kind of vestibule thing. And a teacher, I was upset,

and a teacher recommended I try medication, and I thought, oh, it's gonna fuck up my creativity. I'm just having a bad patch, that's just people who can't handle their problems. I think so many people use it as a quick fix. For me, it took over 20 years to realize that this was nothing that was, I really did try therapy for a long time.

And it was nothing that was ever going away. It was a literal physical feeling of being pulled down. Or like I would lie in bed. It was almost like I couldn't get out of bed. I was like in pain, but I didn't know what hurts. It was just a, there was a genetic thing. It's like a chemistry, yeah. Chemistry absolutely.

And it just kind of takes that away. Yeah. You know? It's done. It's done. I've got better because I didn't have so much to like sometimes I would get on stage and have so much shit to like put aside so that I could perform and not be miserable and angry. Right.

But that's already there enough. Right. Right. So, you know, so what do you, how do you feel now? You feel I feel I feel great. I feel happy because you always joke about being miserable and sad and still. So that's just fucking around. I'm pretty happy. Yeah.

Yeah, I really am. But I, but it's like the way someone would practice an instrument like every day, I practice gratitude. Right. And stuff like I really do. I write down what I'm grateful for. Right. I have to because I lost a lot of people at one time and I was out of my fucking head. Yeah, that must have been to us, with your parents. Who's sorry? Do you, do you, do you, do you live Williamsburg? Do you, have you always lived there?

No. Where do you live from? Long Island. Why would you call it? What an asshole like? What do you want to fuck a tech me out about a little adic city and shit? No, who's asking? Why, why, why know him? I'm a weird guy. I drop a cat and you have a Bobby questions over here.

The last jeans I love that hug your ass. I can pick you up. You can come to the last one. You got a lot of questions, Jackson. I just want to know where you're from. That's all. Where you from? Where you from?

What was the last time you went to church? Get a little fucking personal over here. So you were a rapper. What neighborhood do you live in? No fuck. You were my social security number. The fucking crowd. So you were a rapper. What neighborhood do you live in? What the fuck? You're my social security number. Oh jeez, fuck cry. So you iris, did your mother clean house?

Did she not have a cook? Jesus fuck me. What do you mean my mother clean house? What the fuck's happened? I'm half a tie-in too. Yes, fuck, fuck, I wish. Is that the Italian tie-in? What is that?

That's why you're well fed, mother fucker. The Italian tie-in is the Irish to me. That is the best way I've ever heard of course. I'm a fat, well fed. Well, okay, be a tag. The guy I was talking about is the best way I've ever heard of. Thank you. Well, okay. And you know what, I accepted it. It felt good that he said it. I feel well fed.

Right, listen. And from now, that is the way to describe me. Well fed. Well, if I go from drive-through to drive-through, so it's no. I have to say, I think well fed is the most polite way I've ever heard. I've actually think I've heard people call cattle that certain cattle, but I will accept it. That's what you look so well fed. Well, the Italian side. So where is your family from?

Where you from originally Italy? Where in Italy? No, no, no, no, your mother and father, where'd you grow up? I grew up along Island, Comac. Comac, okay, so that's where the... By Rosie O'Connell. No shit. Yeah, she grew up around the better mind.

It must be something to water, making case over there. I thought we'd continue with the Italian day. So they must be, they must be sipping clamshells? Yeah, they must guys suck me out there just making all these cakes. I can't do what you want to be, me what you want to be, put on a princess dress, suck dick.

The cotton candy on the fucking boardwalk makes these guys fucking have a little fruit. Yeah, yeah, it costs, yeah, it like cocks after that. Yeah, I don't know, like, cocks. Yeah, I just went from New York to Boston. Boston sounds retarded. I'm not gonna talk over you fucking lads.

I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. Both of you fuck faces. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this.

I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like you're with this. I'm not gonna fight you like your father. I'm not gonna fight you like your father. I'm not gonna fight you like your father. I'm not gonna fight you like your father. I'm not gonna fight you like your father. I'm not gonna I just walked. I got cocked a bomb at the show. You two fucking moron sound like shit there, okay? I'm not gonna funny leg you with it.

There's both of you fuck faces. I ain't fucking queer. I ain't fucking with it. Come on, baby, let's go home. It's still Tuesday. So I would love to see you guys fucking in the wildy after the show. And I topped this bitch.

You're the one who did it. I'm happy I lose the top. It would definitely be the show. Man, I topped this bitch. You have no idea. I'm happy I lose the top. It would definitely be the top. Yeah, I mean, look at Bill. He would definitely bang me. Dude, if I, I'd fucking make him suck my nuts. I would love to smell you guys fuck. Fuck.

It's gonna create a forage that you have it. Well, I'd be like, what kind of cheese is that? I'm not gonna lie, I've been like, what kind of cheese is that? I'm not gonna lie, I've not been a, I have been approached by Glee. Dogs from all over. It's Christ. Gays from everywhere with former parade.

What is that? Yeah. Is that dick from Mage? Yeah. You guys can definitely find that people, I'm speaking for myself, Bobby, people that are well fed, actually nine times out of 10, very hygienic. True, that's true.

And the women that are well fed always have really good nails. Like you do what you can do to kind of get through the day. Sure. I don't think so. I think in the cities, yes, but if you go out into the middle of this country, they smell like fucking donuts. They smell like old fucking, they smell doughy. There's some fat fucking people.

I'm going to say this because I'm one of them. I am very hypersensitive to cleaning and rubbing and sh-clone. I like to have my knee. Cleaning and rubbing? Yeah, yeah, you got to rub underneath things. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it scrubbing. I call it rubbing, but there's some fat people They fucking they can't get everything. Yeah, you can't clean all the parts Cleaning you don't come

Yeah, dude, I clean my asshole like a fucking Seriously, it's like the top of the Chrysler building I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm this, I can't do it this time because over the years, I've learned to fucking stretch with this arm. Can you only do it with one hand? Yeah, one hand left. Yeah, I'm on my left. Yeah, I can only do, I'm a writing, but I can really clean my whole only with my left hand. I can't wipe with my right because we've learned the stretching.

If we only use that for a month, it's more stressed out. More stressed out. I can open up my asshole with two fingers and let that fucking what? Why do you open in your ass? Hold up to get us to clean inside it, Bobby. Sure you are. What is that shit? Not counting.

No, I'm not. The feces of mecle matter in there. I don't want you fucking be inside. You finger yourself. You go. Sorry, I'm with you. That just me. I'm sorry.

Just get that. I'm so embarrassed. You go in your ass. No, let me I'm I'm I'm I'm just me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's just yeah. Yeah, just get that. So Mara's you go in your ass. No, let me explain what I do. I hang on I go in my butt cheeks. Yeah, right? I go to my I'm gonna go in my butt cheeks and I open up and then it opens up my shtamankia Yeah, and then I spray the water in I Spray the water in the cleans everything out. So it's nice and clean. No, that might just just went, join me.

It looked clean, you're asking. I witch hazel mask hole. I use witch hazel. What the fuck? Is that burnt? No, it's a slight burn. Why did you do that? Because it's clean.

It's what are you fucking pregnant? It's mildest stringent. I witch hazel mask hole clean. What are you fucking wigan? I got clean ass. What are you working plan, parent of? What are you trying to fucking kill? you come to your ass on go broo yeah a little wait

which is really gay guy got in the room which is all which is the most underrated asshole cleaner on the market really it's safe to clean your ass hole with I don't think it's written on the bottle but we're gonna have to think you We're gonna say asshole safe on them. Yeah, no bring up which end? My best thing to clean your asshole. Yeah, I bet you it's which is is on the license coast. Yeah Coast the over and so the blue soap coast. No, I didn't wait wake you up in the morning coast Which what is it? Whoa. How to wipe your butt. Those are clean.

That's where to clean your ass. Let's go to men's health. That's where you clean your ass. No, no, no, no. How to clean best way to clean your ass. I don't think there's an uglier word than anima. Yeah. It's a bad one.

It's triggering. Um, I think which he is who they used to clean like paint brushes. Didn't Van Gogh use that? The clean is precious. No, I don't think so. But here we go. Okay. Why don't you just go ask and which Hazel? So what happens? There you go. And which hazel?

I know. Which is the look. Look, my 2.0 isn't here. We have mushy mic on the fucking keys. Cut them some slack. Yeah. All right. As portable hygiene or fresh hazel. Yeah. How do you use witch hazel? For a hammer. I always say you have hemorrhoids. I don't, but best self care.

In vogue. Yeah, two little best self care products. Which is a, which is a team vogue now? Can I say something? I think, can I say something? I think what's in the hammer-aid pad is witch hazel. Yes, it is. That's why.

So there you go. Just use a hammer-aid pad. No, that's right. Which is a good recommendation. I know which hazel is better because talks are like 999 and which hazel is like a dollar for a gallon. Yeah, what are you going to put it on? Put it on your tissue paper. Yeah, but a talks pad I have the the best the little round pad you put it on your finger you wipe I use the bidet and then I use the tuck at the end. I stick it in like a little thing I let it sit there for a second and then I pull it out. Look at you. What are you living?

Windsor Castle. He's got a bidet a day. Okay. What's Windsor Castle? A bidet. Isn't it where the Queen lives? I know way too much about how you clean your ass now. I know and this is too much. I know how you clean your ass. Which I know and this is too much of a... Well, I know how you clean your ass. Which, Hazel, you're right. Yeah. There's no going back now.

The only person who should be cleaning their ass and isn't is fucking it. I clean my ass constantly, even though it's like... What do you use? Out of service. I co-steal the eye opener, literally. Do you put it in your mouth? Co-seater and soap.

Do you stick it in? What I'm in the shower, I mean, I clean where the fecal matter comes out. Do you use the soap? No, I mean, I clean where the fecal matter comes out. Do you use the ball the the the soap? No, I lather it up on the washcloth and I scrub my ass and then I get a few fingers in there and you know slosh them around and then Rince you hear a sound like feeding a horse Sorry, don't worry about it. Just motorcycle gang.

It's just an earthquake. Yeah, it's just a hell of a angels coming. It's not a Nero coming. Just try to get a spot at the pussycat. Do you do you do top or bottom usually? Do I? Yeah. I haven't done anything like that in a very long time.

You don't have it at sex. I haven't had sex in a very long time. Holy shit. Wow. You just don't want it. I'm going to long term relationship. Oh, shit. Wow. You just don't want to. I'm in a long term relationship. Now, no.

Yeah. 15 years. It's 15 years of sexless bliss. You've been with somebody for 15 years. What's his name? Johnny. And does he is in the business? No, not at all.

Can we shut that window? Oh, you know what? Don't tell him. Becky, tell them to shut the fuck up. Becky, you know, so shut the fuck up. I, you know, so it's shut the fuck up. I'll kill everything. I'm not fucking too far. What's that second tier motorcycle gang that the Harley Davidson's and those are the ones that there's a hell of angels. No, that's the first one I meant. That's what I meant. I'm sorry. The hell's angels and there's like a second

tier one. The shingleings. And the sorrows are your chingolings. That's a real gang up up in the Harlem. No shit. Yeah, chingolings and motherfuckers. Yeah. The chingolings type it in Mike someday today. Chingolings someday today. Let's talk to you Mike. Yeah. A fun chingolings Mike. The chingolings Mike. Not the top 10 type in fucking chingolings. Mike the warlocks is I think what I was thinking about. Oh fucking chingolings, Mike. The warlocks is I think what I was thinking about. Chinglings. Yeah, the Pokemon. It's Pokemon.

Pokemon. That's why I do. I just made that up, Bobby. No, I didn't. If I were to fucking get him, I'd be good. Just motorcycle, right motorcycle gang. You fucking chute. You sound like Joe Pesci to a

little bit when you yeah I thought that before when you're right there the note the pop up pop up pop up all over the place right there chingling nomads MC the New York City yeah they're not the you don't fuck with them one percenter bikers yeah they

murder people wow they murder people yeah we could do a scooter gang why we do a scooter gang. Why we do a scooter gang? We should. Call it the fucking 15%ers. Or the Italian espresso drinkers. How about this?

We call it the, I'm serious. No, we call it the witch hazels. The witch hazels, yeah. Well, I like that. The witch hazels. Why do you guys call yourself the witch hazels? Because we, uh, we write scooters.

What is your like, clean assholes? We get clean assholes. We have clean assholes. Yeah, you like to find out. Why don't you, why don't you fuck any martyr? Um, uh, probably because of pills and stuff. All right, I cheat. Yes, I do occasionally, you know, I do.

Wait a minute, you cheat. Sure. What else am I supposed to do? He doesn't, you know, he's, it's been a long time since you're not supposed to admit that I'm a pie now. We have to cut that on a pie now. We have to cut that out. Yeah, buddy.

I don't cut anything out. Grace. Yeah. Did you really? He doesn't even know that I have AIDS. Yeah, he's going to have shit. Buddy, I can't cut that out. What?

I can't. It's not her piece. It's just I know what that is. It's a it's a from the my own. It's from tied detergent. Uh, that was a conversation with yourself right there. I'm sorry. I know what that is. Yeah. Once it starts coming out, it's like that plug.

Once it breaks, the pregnancy is over and the baby's born. I can't stop. Mm-hmm. It's so funny. You talk about pregnancy. Billy Burke came to the seller Friday night. I haven't been back in three months. My first time back in the seller. I had like five shows Back to back to back to back to back in Burz here with his family and he comes and he's like they came up He wanted to do a spot like to just go on before me. Let's just go do this because I want to see him. He went up, dude God damn it. He went up and did an abortion joke Yeah, and he he went up out of his mouth, all right. Let's talk about abortion.

I mean, he's got this mustache from filming that movie, the Pete Davis movie. And it was so hilarious. He's the best guy. And he goes, and they were always fun. They started fucking with him. He's like, you fucking New Yorkers, what the hell? He's like, what happened to you? What happened to fucking New York? This used to be the place.

He goes this is the lady yelled out somebody goes Alabama. You guys don't give a fuck about Alabama He goes there to hurricane babies and get watched out into the golf Shit now. It's like my heart. This lady yelled some of us goes name three cities in Alabama right now Exactly you don't know anything about the fucking place, but you care, right? Dude, he goes, if they released everybody's text messages right now, we'd all be fucked. Okay?

Yeah, we're all fucking terrible people. And you can see people looking at each other. And he just broke them down. Yeah. He just broke it down. It was like, fuck you. To where there was like one person that and everybody was laughing. And he was like, oh man, I am not going to tell us Joe because it's his new stuff.

But what the what a great fucking abortion joke. That's what comedy used to that's what you used to expect out of comedy. You know, that's what you sang the wrong thing. That's what comedy was about saying the wrong thing and trying to make a funny. Yeah, still is dude. We just the industry doesn't view it that way. Yeah, but fuck the industry. Right. Right. Listen, Steve Jobs said at any time the fucking money people get involved creativity fucking dies. Yeah. It just dies. Yeah. But comics,

we can audiences audiences. There's all this outrage online. You don't see it live. The jokes are going fine for the most part. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. For the most part, even if even if they aren't enjoying it, you gotta look at it. I do it. I want to, I think it was the first show, pussy, the village underground. And it was, you know, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, all this stuff. I was fine, I don't give a shit.

But then I go up and I said, I'm a little fucked up and I'm like snap out of it, you fucks. It's a joke. And they did. As soon as it's almost like psychological, it's almost like this crowd is on the hypnosis of these set up punch tags, set up, and everything is so cute and nice, and nobody's getting offended.

And then when somebody goes up to and says something a little fucked up, a personal, or an off collar, it's like, what? And then you like shut the fuck up, you fucking pussy. And then like, okay, yeah, we can laugh at this. Yeah, yeah, and by the end of your set, they're with you. And it's almost like you broke them like a stallion Yeah, and then they're laughing at the most fucked up shit But you have to give them permission to do it. You have to let them know it's okay now

Whereas before you didn't they just expected it they expected people to be as honest and raw and as Controversial as possible on stage and now I feel like that's gone a little bit. And somehow it's like, you know, back to like when you're in school, like you didn't know your teacher's fucked. Yeah. You know, you didn't know, you know, I remember my gym teacher in junior high,

you know, and years later I found out she was just getting fucked by my uncle's friend, but we were doing jump jacks. Just plowed over her desk, we were playing dodgeball, she was up to just suck and dick. Yeah. I think that way about like now that there's Instagram, you see girls on Instagram who are teachers and you're going like, these were my teachers. They just didn't have Instagram because these girls are fucking doing shots and party and then get banged. They can crack the opening cleaned out as we all should be. Yeah. And they're just teachers. My teachers were old. Like nobody was going to bang Mrs. Brooke. They were all so fucking old and mean. I had a couple of young. Yeah. When I was younger, they were

older than as I get older. There was some young teachers. One kid in my school was banging his teacher and she was older. Yeah. I have a couple of kids. She was raping him. She's raping that 16 year old kid who was happy to be there. Happy to get fucked in a science lab. I had a next door beaker. I don't know who it's fucking weird. Like Burr went up and snapped him out of it, but it was still. They were like, what are we hearing?

I don't know, comedy about abortion. Yeah. I'm gonna say it. He had one line. He was just like, if I was making a cake and I battered in a pan and put it in the oven and you came along, he's like, I believe women should have the right to choose.

And it's you're killing babies. Like, yeah, that's what I think. I think you're definitely killing a fucking kid. I've murdered a couple kids had to pay half. I paid half these, you know, but yeah, I mean, you're definitely, it's definitely could be a kid. Yeah. What you're getting rid of depends on when you do it too.

He goes, he goes, if you throw, if I had a, if I had batter in a pan, he threw it on the ground, but well, you look at what you did in my cake. There's like a cake. It would have been. Yeah. It's funny. Let me tell you something. I know.

He's on the clock. He's talking about. I think he's the best, I think he's the best comic working. I'll just go ahead and say, I think he's just, I think right now he cares the most and he does the most work, but he also, he always takes the left when you think he's going to take it right. And that's one of comic books. What a fucking great. And he's talking about shit.

He talked about Michael Jackson, dude. Fuck, first of all Keith Robinson's joke. He did on this podcast. Not his exact. He did it in Vegas. He did it on the memory. He said we were talking about MJ. He goes, he goes, Michael Jackson didn't rape anybody.

He goes, white Mike raped those kids. He goes black Mike off the wall, my fucking kid. That's fucking funny. That's amazing. And it's true. You know black Mike wasn't fucking kid. Yeah, yeah. It was what it became at all white lady.

He started fucking eating that kid ass. That's funny. Wow. Yeah, Burr had a great one too, man. So, Keith was murdering. The show was, it was Keith went up fucking murdered. I went up and fucking smashed it. Then Burr went up and fucking unloaded.

Then Lenny Marcus went up the trash did and then Leslie Jones went up and just stepped on their fucking ads. Where was this at the village on the ground? That's a great line up. Yeah. Dude this weekend was smoking. Yeah. That's a seller. I mean, this is a lot of great lineup. I love, like, I was so good to be back. Village on the ground. I had a run to the seller. Then I had a run back to the village on the rear and go up to the pussycat and then run back to the seller for a spot. It's like, I was so good to be back. Village on the ground, I had a run to the seller, then I had a run back to the village on the way on, go up to the pussycat and then run back to the seller for a spot. It's like, dude, that's like fucking, that's nothing better. Nothing better than that shit in front of all. And the sellers are different crowd than the village on the ground. The village on the ground is always a younger crowd. The

pussycat is always just the fucking vagabonds that couldn't get in to make reservations You know what I love those fucks over there that room's not it's not built great for comedy But that's what makes it cool. That's what makes it good. That's what you know you know when you're funny when you get those Yeah, I got a high ceiling and just yeah high ceiling couches are too comfortable Yeah, comfortable kind of spread out and different ways. Yeah. Yeah, not unified. Yeah, not unified at all. Nobody wants to laugh next to a lamp sitting in a king's chair.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You sit on that old furniture, fucking worrying about bedbugs the whole time. Yeah, bedbugs. I fucking hate bedbugs.

Yeah, I put on a fucking green light in that place. You'll see some things crawl out. I've never heard of a fucking bedbug until like five years ago. Yeah. Every night, man, anytime I go to a fucking green light in that place. You'll see something's crawling. I've never heard of a fucking bed bug until like five years ago. How I, every time I go to a movie theater in Manhattan, I'm like, I got bed bugs. Oh shit. It's the new AIDS, really. Like if you got AIDS, it's nothing to do.

That's your end then. You're right. AIDS is manageable. Bed bugs are not. No, dude. Yeah. I see a little piece of fuck. I'm like, what the fuck is that thing?

I'm like, it's a piece of rolled up sack. I'm like, no fuck that. Yeah, but it's because it's a microscope. Some homeless guy want to stay warm in January. He saw the Avengers movie or something. And now I got bed bugs because that clock stuck a bumbed 650. You got a matinee, you know? Yeah.

But they have them like the Ritz Carlton too. It's not just mom. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a, you know, that's from. You know, that's from. Oh, that's when those rich little fucking European I don't say from God free his friends outside

I just thought you were just you know, I thought you just I'm saying that Europeans they stay in those fucking hostels And they have enough money to stay in a ritz so they'll go to a hostile and fucking Belgium They go to a rich for one Those things are the worst I have them once and fucking Belgium and then they go to a rich for one. Oh my gosh. Those things are the worst. I had them once. It's their brutal. They're brutal.

You know the Ritz was like, fuck that and they just paid a gazillion dollars. They froze the hotel for a night and killed every fucking thing in the. They live behind. They can live in the sockets and the paneling and you can't kill the kids. They killed everything. I mean, they killed like three maids that night, they fucking killed that fucking. That one has a beauty mark on its right shoulder. Yeah.

It's a tie and I have a high as a mole. But more you learn about them, the more respect you, they are resilient. Yeah. They have sex, but then truth of penetration. Yeah. They crack the, yeah, they bang each other in the like their exoskeleton, the crack it and bang. Can you please bring that up, Mike? Yeah, that'd be a good thing to bring up. That bed, that's must be fucking hung like a voice.

You don't wait. Stop one second. What did you fix the spine? One second. What did you say, Mike? I don't know if we can on here. Why not? It's a bed, it's a bed, it's a bed bag, a bed, fucking you can, we can watch beds fuck head fucking best fucking there Semination just go to the video Mike I know fucking Puerto Rican just drove by The more time you spend in the suburbs it just starts happening right? The only again the more time you spend in the suburbs, it just starts happening, right? I'm giving homage to make the power. Chromatis insemination, I'm gonna say.

I don't like this. Oh yeah, fuck that bed bug yet. Yeah, I'm so ready for you. Open me up, crack my spine. What, do they have like a close above it? Yeah, well I mean, their bed bugs are not really. That's a fucking bed bug, orgy, that's gay bed bugs. God, there's ten of them.

Yeah, the bed bug has a sharp penis that goes through their abdomen. That's hot. Is it a stabs a female? Yeah. She was asking for it. No, she's a tense pain. Take that, take that, take that. Yeah. So ladies, you have it good. Yeah. Look at a little baby bed bug. Fuck that one. It's blonde. That's like a higher echelon bed bug. It was a little blonde one. Look, listen to me. Listen to me. That's like a Gab baby bed bug. Fuck that one. It's blonde. That's like a higher echelon bed bug. It was a little blonde one.

Look, listen to me. Listen to me. That's like a Gabby bed bug. I remember this to look when we die off, these things are the things that are going to evolve over millions of years, and they're going to be big and huge and they're going to have a conscience and they're going to do bed bug plays and sit in bed bug. I'm going to see them in concert at the weekend. They're going to have any imagine bed bugs.

Existentialist eggs. Can I just say something real quick? You're an asshole. Bedbug place. How are you with the truth? You're not going to have bed. First of all, we're not going to be. We're going away, Bobby.

We're not going away. Yeah. No, we're not. Why do you think that, Gab? Global warming. Oh, shut up. You're shot. And that's where you went.

You're fucking hippie. Can I talk to your dad? That's true. What can I hang out with your pops and his friends? Well, let me ask you a question. Why do you think we're going away? Because we're floods. Because we're love.

You want to know your shot? Here's the thing. Yeah. We've made it. We've done all that we're supposed to do to finite universe. Have you noticed there's no new fashions? There's no new, it's just a recycling of of old we figured everything out. There's nowhere to go But both time travel, huh? We're not gonna be able to time travel. What about?

Wireless wireless charging Wireless what about the mat that apple said they were coming out that will charge your phone Your your watch and your headphones at the same time. Yeah, they'll do a little bit of that you're you're you're watch and your headphones at the same time. Yeah, they'll do a little bit of that and uh and then and then AI's get AI's gonna take over and kill us all right yeah we fuck off first of all right yeah but as far as we could go that's all technology there's still so much hatred and bigotry we can we got a of that. So that's like, that's all still so much further to go. You can't know how hack is racism.

Like when you like, racist, you'll hear you like, what is this fucking, it's been done, dude. Yeah, but you're acting like all of us, like look, everybody's racist in some prejudice, in some way, but in a funny, we're all prejudiced in our own little funny way. Black people, the black people I know, the most racist people I've ever heard in my life.

Yeah. But all my reason though You know I'm really lit loose Live up in wash is not a lot of people who are away. Well, I'm not saying that's a bad thing I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's definitely not a bad thing Did I have I have more black people than white people. There you go. And Indian people, Asians, I don't live in a... Well, it's time to make some more money and move on up.

You speak in the comments. I don't... Another Chris Lager, John Dickerson. Another Chris Lager. Another series or something like that and move out of that neighborhood. I love my neighborhood. I was like, I had a joke, he said,

I'm 36, I live in a white neighborhood, he goes, I had a jug. He said, I'm 36. I live in a white neighbor. He goes, I will live in a white neighbor. And I'm 36. I deserve it. So I said, the jug. Yeah. Good luck. You're trying to move up there too.

Yeah. You just, you get to a point, Bob, where you get, you just want to look around and just go, huh? You know, it's anyone has the latest Billy Joel album and everyone has it. And you just, just want to hear in the back he just- This is what I hear in the back. Yeah, he's just wanna hear in the back. You know, some is playing Journey. So, he wanna come on.

I'm gonna smack that, that, that, that, that, that. You rather know Bob now. Hey, I'm going in a town for two weeks. Do you wanna, do you mind watching my dog? Yeah. Do I need to come here, key? No, the horse's all bent. Yeah, no, the coach's run through 3-4-5.

Have a bark, do what you want. I trust you because you're Don't say My neighbor you're my neighbor you're my neighbor my friend you're my neighbor my friend Yes, you just want to just gather around and talk about the Beatles and have marshmallows Big brush The washroom you can only have Stop in

Up it up yeah it happens around 40 we just like you know what? The washroom you can only have It happens around 40 we just like you know what? Yeah, what did I move up there? Look man, so I were joking by the way wait I you know I want to I'm actually trying to move to East New York for the cultural experience you are are not. Yes, I am. I want to live in projects for the cultural experience. You're just rubbing Westchester. Look at your house. I'm trying to get out of here.

There's so many people who aren't white. Now we're doing history. Yes, yeah. We're racist podcasts. Totally joking. Totally joking. I prefer black. Chris is race. Yeah, he can't help it. I made these for. Totally joking. I prefer black. Chris, he's race.

Yeah, he can't help it. I made these for Bridgewood Queens. I'm just joking. I prefer black neighborhood. I prefer black neighborhood. I want to be able to get a pineapple so to add my delicacy. That's how I come to my house. Yeah.

I'm not supposed to. That's the most racist thing I've ever heard. Yeah, I mean, Italians can't help. Italians have it. Italians races think of ever. Yeah. Italians can't help Italians have it. Italians, it's just in there. That's not true. I think Italians and blacks are the most similar to cultures there are both racist. I really do. Absolutely.

Yeah. And I think it's up to you. Back to races. Times are creative with their races and they're very funny about it. So blacks, blacks, hilarious. Blacks are the funniest races. Alarys there. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. Fucking great. But, but, but, but, but, but, let me ask you question, Yani. Yeah. You are Greek. That's nobody's racist against you. Um, uh, Turks

hate us. Would they conquer? Who fucking Turks had conquered us for over 400 years. Really? We're really slaved by those fucking. Yeah, but not in the last fucking. No, that happened. That was recent when turn of the turn of the last century. A century. I mean, it's something you felt.

No, but no, you living in fucking Queens, living your life. You got shot. I'm from Brooklyn. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Yeah, this big difference. Is there? Yeah. Really? I'm from Park Slope. My brother went to an Ivy League school. Okay. When I'm with Chris, I just pretend I'm actually more. I'm actually an educated kid. I went to American University. I went

to private school. Did you really? Did you go to private school? I did. I went to public and private school. You did. You are a fucking. My parents, my parents were the lawyers. My mother was a human rights lawyer. Yes. And I'm, yeah, I'm as cocked out as can be. Yeah. So, but I also, you know, I also just wrote and Brooklyn. I had all types of friends. I've been exposed to everything. You have a very, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, around, I will act like you. I'm the talented Mr. Ripley.

Bobby, I'm wherever you are. I can't tell you much. I love you. God damn it. You make me laugh. Listen. You're a fucking psychopath. Listen. But you're a comedy, dude. You're going to psych a bad lizard. But you're a comedy dude. You think it's like a path. You're a very cum other people. You're very, I don't know where you're going to go with things, which I love because you're talking about something. And I'm like, wow, that's very right center. And then you go left. You're very, you're very common sense politics, I think.

Thank you. I think, right? Yeah, at this point, I just want to, you know, I want to get at it. I want to, you want to get at it? Yeah, I'm just trying to, you know, I just want to walk around and just, he's going to be able to go get your mail. When it's a horse, is there horses and horses around a question? Orchard. I don't know. Is it an orchard clasp orchard? The closest thing is an orchard. I got to start getting, I'm sitting here. So it's orchard. Orchard. Yeah, I just want to go to an orchard. Yeah, I want red. Yeah, you know, why don't we all there's a lake by

Versey why don't we all get a house on the lake? That'd be great. How great would that be? I just wave from you my cup of coffee in the morning from my doc. And you're on the other doc in your role. It's romantic. Ah, that's not that's not very easy. Versy drives by behind his boat. You guys want to go fucking vision. Yeah. I did I cut a bass the other day. What are the fucking guys? Shoot. Yeah, I mean, you know, what do you live again? Me, Brooklyn.

Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like it. That's nice though. I like that. Well, just no, no, just by a lay, you know, I was about to house up by verzy on a lake. We just close, dude. You know, it's actually close. You know, I was about to house up by Versey on a lake. We know it's close, dude. You know, it's actually close.

You know, it's actually funny when Versey would have parties in North Salem. Yeah. You would invite like, never once have I seen one of our black comedian friends or minority friends like come up to, they, there's something about the country that scares minorities. That's woods. Yeah, it's woods. They don't like it. Yeah, and white people. They know it's like weird white people.

There's like this myth of like weird white people and like they think maybe Jason Ford he's is running around. I don't think it's a myth. I think it's a reality. I think it's pretty factual. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's like if I go to Montauk and I walk into a pancake shop and every little

old white lady with a permanent looks at me like I'm al-Qaeda. That's why people don't want to go to the country because everybody stares at you, they pretend they're not staring at you because everybody's out of the fucking home. I love the country. You're small minded people. I love the country. I love going into those little fucking Poe-Dong places. I love, there's always one little place like two lesbians, a lot of a bottle of lake house, and they opened up a little grocery store, but it's fine wines and cheeses and hoodies. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love those little places. Hey, and you walk in. Hi. I think just I want to don't you think like they should just when you're

you white, you should just walk in and they put oysters down on your table. Why would we whisper? Just like a just 12 oysters come out with pearls. Just what's just oysters on us welcome. Welcome to speaking of oysters laughable.com is the best way to discover podcasts. It's cross platforms now, Michael. Yeah. What does that mean?

It means it's on Android and iOS. So if you're poor, you have an Android. If you if you can't afford to fucking have an Apple product, because Gabby's husband fucking makes them too expensive, right? Becky's. I mean, Becky. She was like, I have a husband. Yeah. I know. Becky's husband? Yes. Becky's Becky has husband. Gabby will not have husband for a long time.

Because I'm 25 and I'm still having fun. Yeah, that's not true. That's why. Yeah, she's a Jersey 6. I swear to God. She would call me a fucking Jersey 6 again. Jersey, she's like a baby giraffe. I'm a Brooklyn 8.

You can tell yourself. And I'm a Jersey 11. You're not even a Brooklyn, you're not a Midwest 35. You're a man had four Gabby come on get give her honestly woman be honest. Yeah stand up close to it She's close to it. Hey close to it. She's gorgeous. What are you talking about Bobby? What do you mind? I'm not doing kind. I mean like I want you know Gabby is not Gabby? Yeah, I'm married.

Gabby is not. Gabby is a fucking man. She's close to a 10. She's close. Look at her. Yeah. She's a man having four Brooklyn. She's probably a Brooklyn six and a half.

And she's definitely a jury. You're a delusional. I think I objectively disagree with you. I'll give you a Jersey step. That's a thing. A Jersey Shore set. She, she, she, Bobbi, Bobbi. She doesn't dress, she, if she wanted to, Jersey seven. That's a sure. I'm Jersey Shore seven. She downplay.

She doesn't dress. She downplay. If she wanted to, she could, she could 10 every day. Okay, well 10 and I'm maybe if you want, maybe try. I want to never tend to this podcast. Yeah, you go. Yeah. To sit across from you, Kate, I'm going to say.

Is that how you feel? Yeah. Is that how you feel? If I came in in a gown, you would be like, get the fuck out of it. Yeah. Well, maybe I'm calling you a 10. Yeah, don't let them talk. You like that.

Don't let them talk to you. Hey, fuck you. Hey, fight it. Don't let them talk to you like that. What's this fucking world? Gabby, you're not gonna let me out of 10. You've at the show I was at a 10. What show?

Von Jovi show. Oh, with the hat. Yeah. I would say I would give you don't pretend like you don't know. I would look at that. Don't say that. I would say you're probably a seven and a half. I'm not.

I'm not a mad. I'm mad. His career is seven and a half. He's innocent. He's doing a he's doing another guy. It's a good. It's reverse psychology is doing on you. It's like older guy trying to make you feel lower because it's so then you want

as approval. But your Gabby's a 10. You're right. Gabby's dropped dead gorgeous. I think she is. I think she's about a 10. Yeah, she's I'm not even just saying it. I'm my girl.

Last. Zach, what do you think? I don't even have eyeliner on. Think about that. Maybe if you did, you'd be good. Don't get mad at me because I don't think you're about that. Maybe if you did. Don't get mad at me because I don't think you're at 10. Why do you mad at me? Is that cast a rap is answer glue?

Yeah. Go ahead. What is it? Do I really have to rap it? Yeah, rap it. I don't ask for a much, but I think you should rap. How beautiful. 11 year from heaven.

Yeah. 11. If I was not married, I would. Yeah. 11. I was not married. I would. Yeah. Gabby will get cracked open. You were like a bed bug. Yeah. Throw up. I would have slipped in those DMs. First time she took over for stucco. Hey, for stucco. I can't remember all the people the old interns you've had. But what was for her? I would say she's the hottest producer of the show.

Oh, for sure. Not even close. Yeah. Yeah. Number one. I mean, she's legit, beautiful. She's not. She's not done. She's not done.

She's not. She's not done. She's not done. She's 25 years old. I was telling you. I'm a kid. When she's 30, I'll say this. I'll put a baby in her right now and sin against Jesus.

I don't I'm a true buddy. You got to cut all this out. What are you attracted to friend? Lieberwigs like what's your time? Yeah, what are you talking about Bobby? I think I want to fuck you talking. I'm going to tell you if you let me. I mean how many messages have you gotten from these fans talking about how I got and

dick many dick pics. Yeah, yeah. Many many many. Because let me tell you this fan base, the top of the top class. If every other take a vacation and need somebody to fill in for you, yeah, I'll be all happily do that. Use real. I'll have that right to you. You don't mind being a guy's gumare on the side. What's a gumare?

You get a pink apartment with furniture and exactly. Yeah. My side. I'm a little dog. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got a wife and of a woman. Yeah, like, uh, yeah, you're a little dog. Yeah. Yeah. I got a wife and I got that family, but I come over and I crack you open. She can't cook, but she can fuck them. I think beside of someone, another crack you open.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And when we mix code, you help me. So I'm like, okay, what's clean? I just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm

just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I out cocoa. It's just like I I tried it for it. It's just like Oh crack open clean out. Yeah, I've been saying for a long time because like I have a yeah, my hunger is deep. Like I'm not like Chris has a he wants a lot. Yeah. I want

to like chain you in a basement and over and consume you. Yeah, yeah. Crack you. Yeah. Crack you open a cleaning out. Not a bad way. Just like want to consume. Like I want it. I want it. Yeah, like a vampire. Yeah. I like it. you. Yeah, yeah. It's a crack. Yeah, crack. Yeah, I'm opening cleaning out. Not in a bad way. I just like want to consume. Like I want to, I want to, I want to, like in a vampire. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it. Like, yeah, I don't know.

I like to lick you up and stop you from. I want to put you in my mouth. Yeah, I want to put you in my mouth. Yeah, I want to put you in my mouth. I like to lick you up and sop you down. There you go. Oh, lick you up. Sop you.

That's what it's like. That sounded like a color me bad, Lyrics. Sop it. I want to sop up your juice. I've been down. I want to sop you juice. I hate that. I've been down. I want to stop your juice. I hate that. I want to do.

I want to lick you up until you do. You just come down and they're going to stop it. So I'm like, I'm fucking like a like a port of house. Yeah. I mean, like a prime rib like the King cut. Just stop that up. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm with you on that. I'm with you. Listen to me. Gabby, don't get mad at me. I just think you're like, I'll tell you about it. Gabby, wait a second. I think you're pretty. You're pretty.

You're just unconventionally good looking. Are you fucking kidding me? Like a- She's just conventionally beautiful. She's so, conventionally beautiful. What are you talking about, Coach? I'm trying to finish my perfect face. Let me finish my point and maybe you'll agree with me.

Her family invented cornbread. Like that is middle American. She looks like fucking Taylor Swift. You keep attacking me. I'm trying to explain to me. Maybe you'll understand. I think when she's around 35, she'll mature into her body and it won't be so undone.

Her elbows aren't done. Her arms look like the same. That's the same. Just go back and you're fat. I'm not. Prison, I'm a fucking two right now. I get it. That's fine.

You can attack me. I'm not attacking you. I'm giving you. To say someone's elbows are undone is a crazy thing to say. They're just not like you're going to get to a point when you're around 35 where you're going to become a woman. You're going to be a beautiful woman right now. You know, you know, you're around 35 where you're going to become a woman, you're going to be a beautiful woman right now. You know, you know, you're a Jersey six like most women.

You know, I think when you're a 35, I think that's when you're going to really peak out. Yeah. You're going to, yeah, you're going to dress, it stopped dressing like a locksmith. Like a locksmith. You really do. You're just disgusting. You're wearing fucking shoes. These are cool shoes actually. Yeah, they're cool if you're fucking 10. No, don't see. Let's see. Listen to this conversation as far as your intellect is concerned, forget about it. Like don't worry about mental stimulation or reading.

Just never leave the house without lipstick on an earring. Yeah. Fuck any kind of note. No, guys don't give a, even if you were like a little retarded, so long as your elbows mature, you're going to be a fat. No one cares about intellect. I think that is actually true. I don't give a shit about it.

I would go out with someone special ed if they said yes. So I've heard from Gilles and I made you just get on with this one, Bobby. I'm not just saying. I listen to him. I think you're a pretty girl. I think you'll be a gorgeous woman. She's a woman of 25. She's not a girl.

She's so far. Not a girl. I just see fucking her life. How about it? Why? What happened? You're going to go off to Nancy Pelosi. Nancy Pelosi is Bobby's born.

She's like 81. She's a great 10th. She's attractive. She's attractive. Full of Nancy Pelosi. No, right. She has fucking job to see. She's fucking. I was Nancy Pelosi. She's right. She is fucking job to us. She's fucking, I was floored, Nancy Pelosi has huge tips.

Pull up Nancy Pelosi's tits. Just the right tits. They're fake now. No, they're not. They're fine. They're explosive. If Nancy Pelosi is, look at it right there. Look at that. Look at that. That's awesome. No, no, no, the one right there with the gold, the gold.

Right there, right there. That's good. That's good. Yeah, right there. Look at that. The cantaloupe puzzle. Look at the real white gold one. No, that's not. That's f*****. the right there right there right there right there the can't help the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue the blue

look at those those those those those are big fucking democrats blue blue

blue blue blue blue blue blue blue blue blue blue She would floater alive, baby. Yeah. If you open up the door on that and she was like, come on in. I couldn't do it. Come on in.

Do you have trouble? I love those because I love and all the woman. You do like, well, that's, I don't like that. I like a woman. I don't like, I'm not attracted to girls. Wow. I don't like unfinished, I don't like unfinished'm not attracted to girls. Wow. Yeah. I don't like unfinished girl. I don't like unfinished things to call someone unfinished. You like a little you like a little grizzle on you. You like a girl's bento style. No, I like a fucking elbow

that has some fucking distinguishing factors. What the fuck? What does that mean? What's wrong with her elbows? I don't mean I always look at my elbows. What's happening? I'm kidding. No, I'm joking. I think you're... I think a Gabby is a... I know. She knows I'm kidding. I think of Gabby as a sister, not a fucking...

I've never looked at Gabby as a... Wow! She never walked in, I was like, wow, she's... She came in and just started working for me. Yeah. And I've never looked at her that way. So you look at her, you want to comment her and leave it in.

No, I don't. I'm a married man and I don't want to do that. What do you want to do? No, I don't want to do that. What do you want to do? I don't want to do that. Also, you should go crack her and clean it. Coco, yeah.

Coco. I thought you got it. I thought you loved that Coco. I thought you were cracking the cleanness of this. Yeah, that was my first cat's name. My first cat's name was Coco. I had no idea what my mother meant. Now I get her. I go pick clean out. It all makes sense. Speaking of phrases,

you can go to remember to be happy.com right now and get the you get the shirt right here that I have the art rock. I got a lot of merch is up there. We also, what is that sub-pull? That's I want that off my thing. We need to do the shirt. I don't want I want my stuff only. I want to promote. What is that thing? I get the YKWD original logo, not the original. That's the new logo on the hoodie and the t-shirt. You got, you know what I want to do? Remember the one with the glasses? We're going to switch it out. We're going to do the dude Buddha with glasses. Will you send that to Beck? Yeah, sure. And then we got the we are the dude. You know, I got more compliments on that. we are the dude. You know, I got more compliments on that we are the dudes. You know, I was at a I was at a fucking Burlington

Code factory and this coolest black kid ever just jazzy dress panting off his rump is a little tight ass. Rump. Yeah, it a little you know, he's like three belts on a fucking hoodie, a chain, a bracelet, an eye fucking watch, and you know, some cool sneakers three belts on a fucking hoodie, a chain, a bracelet, and I fucking watch. And, you know, some cool sneakers you can't get unless you were fucking there that day in Bangladesh and spend $3,000. He was like, yo, man, that shirt's the shit. I love that. Would you get that? And I have to tell him where I got it. He loved the shirt. We all the dudes make sure you go there and get your wikid. And if you wear it at the shows, if I see you as one of these shirts and any of the shows, I will give you.

You'll crack them up and clean them out. Okay. Yeah. I will throw up. I will crack you open, I guess, and clean you up. I sure do. Damn, no, I will give you a big hug.

That's what I will give you. Lost Vegas, I'm going to the Lost Vegas, the end of the in September. I'm going to be going out there again, but this week Las Vegas lineup will so Vince, we got the MC Rocky D.L. Davis, love that kid Nicole Ames. We got Scythe for sound. Let me tell you something about Scythe for sound. We also got Sean Patton, very funny guy. It's funny.

Oh, so funny this week. It'll be gonna be out there, but say for sound, this is what I love about cipher. He, I tweeted, we put up on my Instagram, my one of my bits from the tonight show. We put these bits up me a mic. And how many people viewed it so far? F***, wow. I went up 2000 today.

Cipher sound actually tweeted it out on his main feed, not his story. It was a gift. I like to share my friends once in a while to you people. This is what a fucking nice guy. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah. What a fight.

Cypher just has good energy. Yeah. It's just a good energy. He's got good energy. He really does. That's a solid thing. I've been trying to tweet out like this weekend, treating out other people's shows. Yeah.

You know, when you're trying to tweet out my specialist coming out, it's called blowing the light. I can't wait. Let me tell you something. Can I be honest with you? You can tweet that up for you. I can't wait to see your special dude. Thank you.

It's coming out soon. I can't. Well, you are one of my favorite comedians. Thank you. I don't know if you notice. You're one of mine. Did you know that? You know, you have to say that.

You want a doc? It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. Tuesday. Yeah. You don't want to mind. Do you know that? You know how you have to say that. You want to dock? Uh, it's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. Yeah, I think we should start gay Tuesday. Yeah, we should. You know what?

You know what? Let it out. Because I think as straight married men, we need fucking something too. Yeah, we do. We need to just get the gay out once and a while. We need to get the gay out. I do it once a week.

I just go, yeah, it's just to get it out. Yeah, but if you go, yeah, so then I can stick my hog gay mouth. And then I get to go, yeah, so then the hog goes in my mouth. Yeah. And just a chain of hogs and mouths. How great would that?

What a Tuesday, man. What a fucking release. Gay Tuesdays, we're gonna start it. Please send in guys videos, photos, a gay Tuesdays of you guys gonna start it. Please send in guys videos photos of gay Tuesdays of you guys just fucking you and your fucking good friends. It's this friends. It's Pride Month, man. It's good. We're talking about it. Let's do this, man. Let's for Pride Month gay fucking Tuesdays. Let's send some gay photos our way. Support the gay YKWD at riotcast.com. Send those fucking photos. Why can't I be the producer?

I fucking sweating. So much because you're Greek. You fucking hairy muck. God. You Patreon. Yeah, Patreon. Oh, my Patreon. Yes, there we go.

Patreon, people, please go to Patreon. Uh, uh, dot com slash Robert Kelly. We have a new episode coming up this week with, uh, Brian Coppelman, right from the back, live from the fact black. We are going back to the shed. Going back to the shed. I can't, the fact black didn't work. I didn't, I worked.

It worked. It worked. It worked, but the shed is me. It's summertime. We're going back to the shed. When am I going to be in the shed? Wow. Am I not interesting enough to talk to one-on-one?

You know, it'd be great. Maybe we do you for your album coming out. That would be real nice. But you are right about that. You're not special in that one. I'm not. Yeah, you're absolutely right about that. It is shed.

Yeah. Yeah. But in a group setting with a gay guy in a Mexican and a fucking, uh, Jersey six. Yeah, Jersey six. Yeah. Yada's down back 100. What the fuck?

No, you're saying you're a Jersey seven. I, Jersey six. Yeah, yeah. us back 100. No, you're saying you're really seven. I would go seven. Yeah, no, I would absolutely love to do you. Absolutely. Yeah, I would. That would be fun. That would be great. You know, it should be great. Yeah.

So stick. Yeah. Yeah, we smoke a bat in the neighbor's house right next door. I got your boxes of cars. I can give you. Yeah. You always, what am I going to do with those?

You have so many. It's bothering me that I got a fucking box for you wedding. I didn't go to. We're welcome when we go up there. Yeah, but that bugs me. Why does it bug you? Do you need a human or? Bobby, the thing about you is you're a good guy.

Yeah, I'm a great guy. You're a great guy. Holy shickard. Yeah, you're just a fun good guy. Almost too good. Yeah, you just got once-on-one unpredictable temper and there's nothing wrong with that. I was in, I'm working on it. Yeah, I've been working on it for a long like a couple of years now. Yeah. And I'm getting better with it. Yeah. I'm

get what? I said you are. Okay. I am getting better with how you're right. Did you Lexapro wear off your fucking? I didn't want to interrupt the two of you having a lot of hair. We're a chatty of minute ago. I'll get it into a rock. Just staring and fucking person your lips, you fucking. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm in a tanning bed. It's 409 degrees. I know. I know.

It's a bitch. So rock hair. Robert Kelly. I'm done. I'm done. Robert, we're going to go become a member. $5 people. If you become a $1 million nothing to me.

I'm not kidding. Go become a member of the price of a cup of coffee, a brand column going up this month. We're going to be shooting two new episodes this month. Everything's going up there. I got one on one's up there. There's one there. One on one of Vegas up there right now. Please go to that and join that. What else do we got, Mike? Well, you got some coming dates. You're going to be at the back alley comedy club. Yep. Where's that? Yeah, I want to pay coming up as well.

What are you doing, Mike? I love your dates. When? Well, when are you doing click on it? I did. I don't really get on it. All right. There you go.

Yeah, I had to cancel these dates. Okay. Gov. Gov. Gov. Gov. Gov. Gov. Gov. Gov. And there's going to be their Windsor Ontario's move to his September back alley is moved to September. I had to move those dates, but I am at Gov.

And there's migwires on the June 28th and June 29th. And my governor's comedy club for the first time ever actually second time. I opened for Louis there. So make sure you go check those out and Lucy's lounge on July 26th. And then I got a big announcement next Tuesday. We have to switch everything up. It's going to be a different show. Okay. I'm going to have to do two shows. Okay. Next Tuesday, big, big fucking announcement. I got for next Tuesday. I'll be on a Bennington show in the afternoon doing the live YKW doing Tuesday

with a whole guest of people. We got a big announcement. I'm very excited about stuff, some stuff with JFF. I mean, all kinds of stuff that I've been working on for years is coming to fruition. So I'm very excited about that next Tuesday. It will be making a big announcement. Laughing skull, August 1st, sidesplitters in September. Please go to robbercatalive.com. Yannis, what do you got besides this? Talk about this special for a second. Yeah, that's the main thing blowing the light. Andrew Schultz, why is he blowing the light? Because we, the whole, we're making it like it was a regular show and I was coming to do a spot and Andrew was hosting and he was trying to get a tape

and he wasn't crazy about the tape and he in the green room, he's like, hey man, when are you gonna shoot a special? I'm like, ah, you know this, then they go, ah, you know, nobody wants to do it. You know, I make a joke like that and then he goes, why don't you shoot it now? And I'm like, what do you mean?

You know, I got a spot, times people have, it's just blow the light. So it's kind of like, that's- I wish you didn't tell me about that. Cause now I know the fly was, I would have loved to not know that. Well, it doesn't matter. That's what it is.

Yeah. But it's just especially to stand up, especially to now or also, yeah, you can get my, I have an album out too. You should go check out called Let Me Be Yonus, check that out. And I'm going to be in the Miami improv this weekend. I don't know when this is. June 14th, the 15th. So Sunday, Sunday, we have live right now listening.

So yeah, so we have tweeted out on our stuff. Yeah, we'll make sure that people go down and check out Miami. We do one of the funniest in the biz. Thank you. Sounds like a great special. Yeah, I'm doing Mauricio again. I haven't done it in a while. And so I'm doing it.

I'm doing it from my buddy. It's good to just be with Angelo. Um, yeah, Angelo was fucking great. Angelo and Sergio. I'm going with them, but hey, you know, I'm really excited. Sergio, is that legal?. Angela, Sergio, I'm going with them, but you know, I'm really excited. Is that illegal? Is that legal? Sergio and an angel. I'm just moving Puerto Ricans across state lines. And please check out history, hyenas with me and Crested stuff and one of the funniest man. I love you guys. See you the best. What do you

got there, Baba? I'm going to be at the DCM Prove this weekend, the 14th and the 15th. No, that club's great. I'm gonna be a- I love that club. Bloodlow House and Caroline. He says in my tone. Fucking lazy, fuck them, God. I'm gonna be at Bloodlow House and Caroline's on June 26th. And with Lisa Lamponelli in Providence Town, July 1st and 2nd.

It's awesome. Kind of a great show, theater-y thing with her. Nice. I got an album out called Confedered Fag. That's on Spotify and iTunes and shit. That is true. And I had a podcast with Jessica Kerson called Fat Pig. So be sure and check us out.

I got a video too. His videos are just curious and so funny. Yeah, first of all, and Jessica just tweeted the other day. I forget whose feed it was on. she goes, I just date my couch. Oh, my dad just like, oh, fuck Jessica kills me. The video you guys do too, she's screaming at you. Yeah, you guys are funny. Yeah, I got you together. I love it. I love it. Thanks coming on, buddy. Jeff Brown. We had a great time. Awesome, brother. We got of course. We got Chrissy is Chrissy. What are you again, man? Not that Trini. Yeah, he doesn't talk like this. I don't know what he what are you doing?

Yeah, not that cheating on all social media and I got the podcast with Lord's Large. Yeah, pretty close. Yeah, there's podcasts and if you need any graphic designs, or oxy cotton. I've never seen Talked him. Yeah, I can't fuck. Yeah, one of the bad. I mean one of the best I've ever seen that. Talk to him. Yeah, I can't fuck that up. Yeah. Yeah, one of the best, I've ever run into this kid. It just comes up with great stuff. What are you getting back at? Hey, you can follow my comedy photography at human places the EZ-3.

She's awesome. Gabs, what do you got besides? Beautiful elbows. Thank you. You know, I love you. I love you. I love you. Come on. I love you. I think you're a beautiful young woman What is John Bonis? Jovey smell like

Not as good as the fucking dad. Yeah, not as good as you and Frank having sex. Wow. That's gonna make a cheese Where are you? Huh? Where are you during this? Don't watch it. You're gonna watch. I'm gonna watch and jerk off. Yes I want you to rub you a five o'clock shadow that's always there. Yeah. On my ass. Can do. You can follow me on Instagram. At Gabby is Brian and I just released my podcast two episodes are out now. It's called Unabashed Podcast on Spotify and iTunes and everything. Gabby wants 10,000 followers by when? I want 10,000 followers on Instagram by the end of this year. I'm at 6,800 right now. I think as a team, we can make it happen. Yeah, I can't stand her. I hate this generation.

I love me. They're goals suck. I want I want 10,000. It's for my career. No, it's not. You know what's for your career? You fucking work on those elbows, get some little dumbbells. No, I'm kidding. Mike know what's f*** career? You fucking work on those elbows, get some little dumbbells. I'm kidding. Mike, what do you got besides shitty posture and a tight t-shirt?

Follow Robert Kelly at Robert Kelly live on Instagram, follow the podcast at Why Can't I Be Deed Podcast? Why Can I Be Deed? Why KW dude podcast on Instagram the man the math the fucking all yeah and follow me at Mike Vs. War is on Instagram also if you're listening tomorrow My new podcast one new podcast with Catherine Hanson and Misha Hong comes out OMG Iks it's gonna be on YouTube cuz I can't afford hosting fees. So go check it out on that you choose better man Better Fuck yeah. Tomorrow night we have the thing too, right? Yeah, we'll be at the black fat black pussy cats. Tomorrow night. Zach, besides

fucking being a rap mogul about to leave my show. What the fuck? Better fucking not leave. No. What? Well, how? That wasn't fucking too good. I said, no, I'm not going to leave. I love you. Love you too. What do you got? Zach Newer.

You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. I love you. You know what, dude? That was great. That was great. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. All three, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me, show me,