Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - What's Your Worth

Episode Date: August 17, 2015

The show becomes a party in this evening-time recording. Having done a recording earlier that day, the gang is dilerious, but pull together two hours of absolute fire. Sitting across from Bobby is Wil, who is enforcing the old Haitian custom "he who deserves the hanky chief, gets the hanky sheef" Scopo, out of nowhere knows who StarLords father is, and everyone is stunned. Comics Mike Brown and Mike Vecchione are here as well, proving there are too many People named Mike. Lastly we have Andrea Allan, who has a rather unique point of view when it comes to relationships with other comedians. PLUS Keith Robinson and Rich Vos show up out of nowhere and troll the show, old school style. This is a must watch/listen. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, dude? En la network riotcast.com.

¡Verdad a la más grande podcast de la plana de Bury! ¡Es una costa! ¡No hay no los rues! ¿Qué es la mi casa? to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. This podcast has no rules. I'm talking to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, that's so f**k. That was trying to keep it like a comic head.

I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and being sometimes in hilarious, sometimes in 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin. I love doing it You never know I'm going to be on the show, Bobby. Yeah, well you're on the show. All right, this is gonna be a fuck, you know, Will got me off on the wrong fucking floor.

You dumb fucking, I love life energy, pissing me off. Will Sylvins on the fucking show. Hello, everybody. I don't like that that you went the other way i don't know you can win dummy is you lost trucker

all can i can wait to a new side can lose uh... i can win with you can say i can i can lose you can say i can lose because of the uh... i love you so i can lose i can lose

listen man i you can't you've lost i love you so I can't lose I can't lose listen man. I you can't you've lost I Love you so much It's all I'm saying go around the room deep who introduced everybody. Hey everybody taking a risk of us duty deep. Oh God Take it's wow. I usually don't introduce everybody. I got a body Yeah, give up the expert to this. Well, I think we have everyone knows Will is here. Yeah, say hi Will Hey, what's up everybody shout to everybody who loves Will so Vince. I'll love you right back I can't lose I can't I love you Will. Thank you. You're one of the few people I believe are on my side completely. I am on this side

Thank you. Then we got Mike Brown very funny comic Completely I am on this side. Thank you. Never got Mike Brown very funny comic Yeah, very funny com. Yeah, what up at your mic brown on Twitter? Blat blat blap I love you back man. I love you in the streets man I love you. I love you in your city and your farm. Whatever you at. Thanks for listening man. Why KWD Shane gang So so his response was way better than what I say I liked it. How the fuck I just follow that. That's his house is it's just say your name And you don't have to fucking do blah, blah, blah, blah.

We'll only make a fucking rap battle. I'm sorry Mike. I'm not from New York. Yeah, go ahead. Hi, I'm Andrea Allen. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I felt racial blue, so I feel relaxed. That's all right, it's all right.

Relax. That's all I got. That's all you got, that's fine. I liked it. Thank you. I was fine with it. I'm a classy bitch. are a classy bitch and of course we got uh... christophe producer and we got uh... videographer uh... and video producer uh... depot to the

fucking it what's up uh... front of the bus funny what's going on wow jesus christ where is it you didn't like that where is it where is it with the hanky cheat where is it where is it? You didn't like that? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? I want you to wrap around his head like a turban wrap around India. Actually, it looks pretty good on me. See the natural front of the mouth. Wow. Wrap it around twice. Mike Vecchione's on his way.

Yeah, good for him. Just got out of red eye. What? What. What? Oh, those rehab. Red-hub. So we're here. This is the second show we did today. I'm going to vacation next week to the White Mounds motherfucker. So you're third-knowing house. What's that? The third floor of your house? I have a wrench.

I have a mid-minced-serture. You can just have a ranch. What you put in the salad? I love you I don't want laugh at it, but I'm pretty almost that was good Why are you working over? These people are laughing, you had a laugh But we only need a poo-boo. We you had a lot of these? There we go. Bobby, you already have a pool of pool. Well, the microphones work. They work fine.

Why are you looking around? You don't have to do either or. Just be in the middle. Pull back up. Pull back up right there. He talked. Hey, see? I hear you.

So tell us about your ranch drenching. I don't know what that means. I don't know where that ranch drenching is. See I hear you so tell us about your ranch wrenching I know the ranch trenching is Ranch dressing Ranch I heard that message Ranch I have a ranch a mid-century Contemporary ranch house and that's what you're going that's right. I live no no I'm I'm going up to the Hampshire the white mountains Who's gonna carry you up there?

I'm gonna drive myself Yeah, you don't I'm not going up the mountain. It's in the mountains, but not up. But I will be hiking I will I hike a lot I will I hike a lot For me Not hiking look at your house to the subway Don't take the fucking subway Fuck you think I own a metro car you fuck I'm fucking have a platinum hammock's bitch

I'll take a Uber or a fucking lima Motherfucker oh my Honda pilot No I when I go up to the hamster of hike man There's hiking trails I'm not saying I fucking camp out for the night, need squirrels, small game. I take a little walk in the woods with my wife and my kids, and come close to death, and then I come back. They're bears up there?

They do have bears. They have a, they actually have this up right behind my uncle's house. If you go up these trails, they go back, and then they split split up and if you go way back there's a bare den they call it devil's cave and they have all these caves where the fucking bears live inside there. You've been there? No I don't fuck with that. Is it black bear, brown bear or polar bear?

What does it matter what color? I mean where are we at today? Any twinks up there? What? You know bears, twinks, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, all right. Should I not try? All right, I got it.

I already got it. He's like a mute. You do me a favor and tie the knot. You tie hooks on the string with. When I was a kid, when I would get in trouble, my parents would send me to go hiking by myself, like out in the forest. No, they just wanted you to leave.

Yeah, there's only first one away. Yeah, I was hung over once and they're like, go walk around for six hours. It's called it's called the first one away. Yeah, they said, Is that what it's called? Yeah, you just made that up right? No, that's a will isn't. No, no, no, no,

First one away. Is that your patch? I refuse to Google anything you said. Okay, because I don't want the internet to know that I googled it. What's the point of way? Is that your patch? I refuse to Google anything you said. Because I don't want the internet to know that I Googled it. I don't want to be a record of me going reverse runaway or fucking ranch to the best thing. Whatever the fuck you said.

Ranch to the back of it. You ran, so they just made you leave the house. Yeah, they always sent me to boarding school. They would send me away every summer for months. And They just and and one time I got super wasted at a family party. Yeah. And there is maybe like 13. You got wasted 13. Yeah. My birthday's on New Year's Eve. So I was just drinking everyone's drinks and I came home and jumped into my parents' bed. I was like, I'm driving this gunk. And they're like, you're going for a fucking hike tomorrow morning. And they just sent me out into the desert.

How do you know when to come back? They were just like call us. The mountain lines up. Call us in there. They feel better. And they just sent me off. That's it with a Native American, just to do the old people.

Yeah. Did they give you a knife or a matches or anything? No, just like a, you know, bottle of beer. Was it dark or was it? Would you go early in the morning? In the daytime. Yeah. So they weren't really good parents.

I mean, they were, they were, you got drunk at 13 and then yeah, they were like, just go away. No, they were good. I mean, they did that. How good can they be? They let you get a drunk at 13. They're, I don't know, it's Canada.

Like no one cares. When can you start drinking in Canada? 16? 18 in most places, 19 is is the like the highest drinking age but they I drank wine at home like it wasn't big I mean I don't drink anymore because I drink it all but are you done are you done with alcohol yeah sober how long uh about a year that's pretty good yeah so now you off drugs too no So now you off drugs too? No. Fucking loser. What drugs? Just weed. I mean I fucked I used to fuck with cocaine a little

bit but not really. Yeah. So. Well you know when I first met you was on the Keith and the girl show. That was fun. The original podcast of the college. Yeah. And you were fucking shockingly honest. Thank you. I mean, for me, I was like, what the fuck? I was like, like, listening, like, did she just fucking, yeah, she said that. It's our rule. Yeah, I mean, all these sexual fucking crazy things that happen with you and your,

what's your boyfriend, right? Or just a dude? I don't know. There hasn't been a boyfriend in the picture for like a really long time. No shit, what's a long time? You always is with people. I do. I do. I do. I do. Are you playing for the position?

No, this one. No, it's a long time. It was too long. You're crazy. It was too short. That dude is still around. It was medium, know I'm stepping in I don't even know Michael I know you have a connection But that has to break it a little bit I'm stepping in it doesn't make sense, but it makes sense and I don't get it Am I going crazy? Why do I understand will? The logic was airtight though. I've been in like fucking stupid relationships that are like four months long so I don't know if you count that like

serious. It's been like five years. And the last four months one? I'm kind of in one right now, but you have a boyfriend now I don't know if I would say yeah, yeah, just fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is the comedian? Yeah, you break that rule Yes, I I fuck almost exclusively comedian you fucking funny guys Really? That's crazy. Don't be guys it. Yeah, I'm at open mics every fucking night the buffets there Why not you know sample is that we call us? Yeah, I'm offended Me and my friend we have what game that we play it's called it's good. Who's Suck you way to the top Bobby First of all have you seen the open mic audience? She has a date comedians. What do you mean?

She has a date comedian. What do you mean? I don't know what that means. Over my audience is Can you say audience? Audience. All right, go ahead. All of your mic audience is what? It's a mess. Right.

There's a bunch of us and a bunch of girls that look at you. Did you say me? Me? These two you two. Oh, man. No, you say that it's just me and the way. Go fuck yourself. There's a couple of you two with a you say that it's just me in the way go fuck yourself There's a couple of you two fucking bike back on exactly

Me and you and the audience with wigs and and it's mess so she had to you know It's mess Well, it's like we've had this game where we go how much would you have to pay me to fuck him right and we have to get a dollar amount and if it's nothing if it's free then it's like oh guys pretty okay let's do that right now let's go around the room we'll start with depot how much would it cost to fuck depot I I'll give you I'll pay you a hundred bucks let's do it let's do it right now I give you I'll give you a hundred bucks to fuck depot now let's how much you give her how much see it's not about wait I don't know I don't know wait to give wait. Oh to give to fuck me or him No, no she had to pay I knew he'd fuck it up. Yeah, because he's just dumb

It's what's called dumb well out of you day and I'm offended. I'm sorry. All right deep who? 500 five bills Five hundred okay, why are you so upset? You're looking you don't know how much I am yet that's true The equation I like the christian I think Chris is nervous. Chris don't want to pee more, just enough. I don't know, as he goes to the gym and I pee, he's like, you're a headbina, you're a fuck out.

You got fans? Listen man, she has morals. It's not about headliners, it's about how much, how much would you do for Chris? 250. 250? Alright, alright, you're looking at me. Now how much would you do for Chris? 250 250 All right, okay, you're looking Looking guy I thought hang on one second will civics all right will civics how much thousand twelve thousand A Rolex

Nine my father's love nine hundred wow, I'll take it. I'll take it. I got nine hundred dollars my pocket right now. I mean does him. I don't have to be You're fine. You're fine. You're doing good. Don't fucking We've been held up. How do you seen Will's dick? No, no, no, no, no, stop stop stop stop. That's a shit. That's a little bit. Why can't I do that to pull? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, $2 that's what shut up shut up you got to shut up you show my Mike you and your six inch here what do you got? I mean I'm sorry My Mike Mike look at him look in his face. I know I know Mike and the radis Pretty though. I'm sorry. You're beautiful. You're not really my style

Radized, uh, it's pretty though. I'm sorry. You're beautiful. You're not really my style. Um, 10,000. What's that mean? Jesus. How much? He's very, he's so pretty. Yeah. She's pretty. Okay. Okay. I don't like to compete in the little department of men. Um, I'm gonna give you $10,000. $10,000. Yeah. And we're going on. What the hell? You talking about Mike she fucking ten times Hey, you said don't bring the dick out put up what I'm losing Before you start bringing up fucking will baseball bat human the new man love couch how much Myce coming in is like I'm gonna say a Grand a fat

Well, stop. How do you feel stop? I'm saying Michael that's a Silvets and a blow job of Chris. I was I was I was gonna say so I want I want a Deepo before me. I got on short. Yeah, I'm sure that's true. I didn't I think okay For you to change your mind no, she can't you change your mind pressure. Huh you fuck deep you before me You you dig pressure. Huh you think You fuck you before me you you dick pressure. Huh you think You fuck people show you're saying he's five bills. I'm a thousand. I bet you you'd be better in bed Yes, oh, whoa, oh, I said different question. That's a totally different. No, that's that fact is in all right

That's just fact that I'm 10,000 in all right now Because I just want to piss you off. Yeah, cuz I know you right, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay There's more play cuz I know you okay Okay, now go okay, what is this fucking stranger 500 500 all right. I'm dropping you down to 200 She said Hey, take my ATM a go back and get you know get five hundred people me you know

you don't close your count I'm just playing you off I'm gonna make independent film another part of it is he as he up here? No he's coming now okay that's funny dude 10 grand hold on you got to mic when you get here okay I mean I just

know you so I mean but I'd be fucking let his face you know what you know what you know what you know sad thing is you let her change your mom but you want to have changed your mom you know I don't you know what now let's factor in okay headliner huge dick I'm not a size queen. I'm not a size queen. I'm also a friendship. Factoring friendship. I get like, I got like, my bots right here. My bots right here. What is this? Available, social, oh, okay. I got a spot right there in the chair every week over.

Right there. I'll dump Lesbo hips right out of this fucking door. I'll move some furniture. I'll take it all in. I'll listen to me. I will kick field hockey hips right out of the studio. All right. I'm sticking you in there Ram our shorts. I'm taking all your jobs You know like a tablecloth

I told my stompal shorts holly shit I Very comfortable Mike you're just so fucking cocky that I just 10,000 because I know you strangers strangers get a deal but your friends get Nothing you listen man. You're too cocky Blap blap blap blap blap blap blap blap blap blap blap blap You know what I'm saying? should be it should be like this My's gonna be like Nursing a cat I Can't go

I Do it Hey, it was a good anyway stop stop stop stop stop do a cat porn you got it Oh my god, please try one more time. No, that's a human being going per that's saying the word per Doing it right He really What car cat is that that cap that he speaks up The deviant it's September Is Mike coming up to stairs of the train station on the way down here took a card can you never tell me that he's almost here

he's not fucking here you fucking stupid rock that sticks up for you dumb rock friend that's what you're gonna fucking ride here you ride your assholes stick up for each other you probably is a good one it's been a long day, Scoop. I don't know. It's a good partner. You're a fucking stupid haircut twins.

I need my Italian brother here. Yeah, well, he's not here. So fuck him. Mike with him. Been on his way 17 times. I mean, fucking Mike. Where are you? I did red eye, dude.

I did a couple zingers. Oh, god. How much of these open-micres paying you to have sex with you? I did read I do it. I did a couple zingers How much of these open micers paying you to have sex with you nothing wow I'm doing a propona I gotta pay 500. Oh my god. You're so but heard about this. I am wait you Get on the lower price Your face in 250 You chile is too big shop your 500 500 500. He's too Chris too Chris is either is on the fuck You will Five me that's the first that's the only time I ever will back of the four mine

What was yours again like no? I got it right here 10,000 that like you 10,000 Somebody like somebody have to pay you 10,000 I say something. You know why it's your fake eyes You got my eyes Mike's eyes are great Mike. That I got contact. I just contacts. No, they're not Yeah, they are what you can find out for $10,000 I know that no, no, they're not somebody getting a hanky sheet. Yeah, I don't know why I laughed at that You did a little chuckle you did a little chuckle ticket. Well, are you counting money right now? I'm getting my nine I'm counting like a dollar

Are you fucking get your train money to go to hey These counting like a dollar Are you fucking get your train money to go to hey? You fucking cocks. I put your wrinkly money away from your bike. Oh my god for my bike So you're doing you're doing the comic right now. Well, I don't know if like it's not super serious But I'm seeing I'm seeing how much did he pay you? I'm saying means I'm fucking Hey, can we chill? Can we look it was funny games, but you get very aggressive with women And you've done this before in the show apologize. Well, no, it's fine, but just chill. Yeah, you fucking this isn't W a we're not we're not dropping a fucking rap album in 97

Okay, chill the fuck out. Hey, how's that pussy mix it? Yes, yes, it's gonna be good. Yes. I was in the NWA with the first pop off song rap rap Pull back for real to do to do Was the first song the first song straight out of Compton bitch that was not the straight out of Compton crazy mother fucking name I skew from a gang called with attitude Almost My fucking hearts in my chest It's coming it's coming I'm not about to be about Bobby fund no more

God did you see did you see mission impossible? Yeah, I see I know I didn't see it. Um, I'm going to see it. No next week. I'm not in see you I heard good shit about this I want to see it. I heard it was really good. Who directed it? Is it the same dog? I can J.J. Abrams motherfucker. Really? Yeah.

Oh, so no. Now, am I deep who? Am I right with that? I don't know. I'm scared of you. I'm fucking look like you're fucking a comic con every day. And you know my fourth one is... All you know is about fucking...

Yeah, try to... Did you watch The Scene where Tom Cruise on the plane behind the scene? I mean the scene they've played over and over. No, they did the hunt behind the scenes. Yeah, it was really good Oh good for you. You know it tried to put something to the table. Yeah, you know, I wish you had a pizza fucking wide Eps. Bobby saw it man. You saw that body shaming Coming from the body shaming body shaming. I guess I love the stress you're wearing by the way. Thank you. I wish I was cheaper I love the stress you're wearing by the way. Thank you. I wish I was cheaper I don't have 60 on me I'm gonna become a prostitute

Literally, yeah, made yourself it my price yeah, I love you did that Um, I saw Ant-Man Keith Roberts and Dante about 18 tickets each we took over that fucking 85th Street theater about 18 tickets each. We took over that fucking 85th Street theater. The seats are too comfortable. Here's the problem with that theater. They're fucking amazing leather recliners. I'm Broadway. Electric recliners and they fly flat. So you literally can lie flat. Me and Lenny Marcus, my baby girl, sat there and he goes to CVS we got what fucking dating when we go me and let it fucking dating he goes we go to CVS to get snacks do you want snacks I'm like I guess I feel like me in my life I'm like yeah we go in what do you want what do you want I want pretzels he gets pretzels he gets veggie chips

all these healthy carbohydrates that I eat and as soon as I eat them I'm fucking I'm literally fucking 20 minutes in the movie their video me going Out was a movie that bad dude it was it was bad for me because I'm used to You know a regular Marvel movie with you know Garry's the galaxy fucking Iron Man Avengers. Oh, this was very, it was, Ant Man's a different type of comic book. It's a heist. We didn't know what to expect from Garland, Garland's the galaxy. I did.

I did. I did my origins background, motherfucker. I know, I know shit about that motherfucker. You don't know. I'm not going to test that. Why when he held the purple stone, did he not die? Because the purple stone is infinite power. No, no, he's half Tyron dude Spoiled that

Why is it for them? It's way more impressive. It's go actually knows that the movie came out Yeah, he's very impressive the fact that where did you what did you just watch the was that the rapper? 100 times I remember that explain to me what's Tehran it's it's okay tell us what was his name what nothing else um Chris Pratt's character yeah star lord star lord his father we thought he we they thought his dad and it was a human human but that was terror scope or rather on the big week you're you explain the same word with the same way I'll try to get the meaning of how I'm gonna say wrong he's wrong

the man who's in the chat room I'm not wrong please go to the chat room uh wrong yeah run a minute delay so we'll take him to say it's okay everything the chat room please correct scop off he's he's right but he's fucking wrong yeah you wrong his mom was human she died of cancer you know what talent was another planet it's It's what they called Earth. Okay, well, I'm wrong. You apologize like. Like you're right.

Okay, well, he is right. His father was a parent, a parent. And that means that just a father. Okay. But his father, at the end of the movie, now whoever, only certain powerful beings can hold an infinity stone. Now, in Avengers, that was an infinity. This fight, vision has one. Vision has it, right? So he has this infinity stone.

And when you you if you held a human a tower and held a human held it you fucking died but at the end of that movie he didn't in a stand so he he has alien some alien shit in them his father disappeared supposedly when he was young his mother died but they were they hired him to bring back to the father,

but they never took him back. The father was hired these guys to take him and bring him to his dad, but they didn't. They just raised him as one of these thieves. He was supposed to bring him back. His father is a fucking supreme being. You got a stand? Yeah. You got a stand? Yes. Was that Mike? Yeah. So anyways. but you didn't like he was right. Well, Ant man. What's up Mike? Ant man, Ant man was I mean look, I didn't see it. I fell asleep. It's a goofy movie. I think I started out bad It starts out look man when the guy will look man when anybody shrinks into an ant you're like you giggle Well, you see a dude run up to an ant and then jump on its back and see the little bit You're like what the fuck is that? So you missed the whole fight.

Did you see the fight that happened? I see in a couple fights and then I fell in. When he had been falcon, you didn't see that. I didn't even know falcon was in the movie. That's how much I snuck. What's your fall asleep rating? Don't tell him, because I don't fall asleep. I don't fall asleep ever in movies.

Really, okay. That's the way it's supposed to be. The movie's not really good. You can pass out of the way. That's because you lie in these seats are so comfortable. It's the most comfortable climbing in the world and it lies flat. And then you carve up with with all the carbs that Lenny got me and then he had little kickcaps bars.

I was out. Why did it to myself? I tell you why I've done it to myself. I had no choice. It was 12 30 at night. I tell you why I've done it for myself. I had no choice. It was 1230 at night. You know what I mean? And I'm sitting next to the lady. You can't police yourself?

Listen man, I want you police me. How much you cost? $900. Sorry, I'm not a fucking man. All right, now give me... My name is not Amanda! Oh, but what is it again? I'm not even gonna tell you.

And your price just went up to two grand. I got that. Five grand. I'm at the work, I actually would go back. Now Mike, she went on the room and priced us all out. How much of her and a girlfriend she bangs mostly comedians. Oh, really? Oh, Mike, then he got it.

But Mike's got a makeup on now. Who's good? Yeah, I got makeup on. So she, but they play a game, how much would it cost? that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Hang on shut up dude. He's fucking he's he's a who's he 900 bucks? He was $10,000 Hey Queen not what you today I just got here and you turned it around on me. What? Don't look for it.

My price was high. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Beat it. Skubo just gets up. Skubo isn't there, Mike. Skubo is a good producer. Sk up school. This is gonna be quick. It's gonna be real quick She's going around the room. How much you how much you would cost to fuck us. He's

He's too Where's 900? Where's 900 Mike is 10,000? 10 down deep who's 500? How much how much for a boss rich boss Greece how much How much for the flamingo kids Who's this skirt what do you need to battle the singover host the skirt? Hi, I'm Andrea the singer over who's the skirt. Hi, I'm Andrea. She's a gradian. Oh, yes. How long? So, uh, two and a half years and $5,000. I like it. I like it.

It's good. Five thousand. You want to take me down like, oh, how long, you know. Yeah, yeah, I like it. It's common words. How about Mike? How about Mike? Mike my vacuon now look at that body see look at that here pretty though which is pretty you know I pretty I like it pretty yeah I don't like it here's mega bunch working class myself yeah working class all right yeah give me good ball points like why are you I'm working class but in college I can't go to

college you're successful okay I can have you I can have you college. You're too successful. I almost made it. I can have you open it a fire hall for me or a night of Columbus. All right, wait. All right. What are you getting? It's like a crystal ball. 600 dollars. 600 dollars. So far out of mind.

Wow, like if I bowed. Because you were in my face. And I'm rich boss. Because I know I can get it from you. How much? 5,000 because you were in my face. Okay, and I'm rich boss I know I can get it from you. How much? How much can you promise me? She KWR stupid right super. It better be good. How much now? I'm 200. Oh wait She pays to fuck you. No, I'm not paying it. I mean you pay her Is the fuck you Me Open my girl I'd rather fuck somebody who's headlining Fuck I we up here

How much the fuck somebody I'd say I had a fuck you How much the fuck Wait a minute White horn nose what she's doing She's just trying to get even with daddy This is what the wanna fuck you then. I'm afraid. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. My own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my own life, my Thank you, Shafu. I don't think you guys like me first. You're voice don't work right now. I lost my voice. You do? Wow, that in 25 more pounds you'd be like a presentable. Oh, cool. I was in real life. Oh, you're a 2nd day pilot.

Fuck out. He wishes you get a whole lot of a weekend. Oh He wishes you get a whole bottle of weekend Coming up you want a wall of dumb dumb. No, I'm going down. Hey, 5,000 Stop You just walked around the salon and who wants to do a podcast? You had nobody booked Tell Yeah, you had nobody. Tell scope of a stop call me.

I'm not returning to you. He's right there. I want to say to you, don't even talk to him. Can you tell ugly question Slater here? Open that name. He's a little bit silly. This is stopped. You're know how to talk to me. I'm not into a headliner.

She's not. Where are you from? Where am I from? Cuts is from Vancouver in Canada. I love Vancouver. Big fan of Vancouver. Yeah, me too. The Comedy Mix. It, it's good club like it my wife from Canada. Oh, yeah, yeah, you know his wife Bonnie McFarlane

I do I saw a perform at the Keith and the girl special is here. She was great. Yeah, very funny. What about balls? I've never seen you perform But have you heard of them? Yeah, I have heard of them. Okay. I'm not gonna act like I don't know who he is I'm not a funny guy. Have you told the truth and tell the real truth. Okay. Yeah. Have you ever heard of Keith Robinson? Yeah, I mean Keysides in this room. Hold on see how he turns on the key came up as a team The best fun of back of the bus funny you're under the bus funny Can you say that again Podcasts stinking up the joy.

We can't hear it. Just stir some shit. I think that was funny. First of all, it was a fucking slam. It was a slam on your dumb thing. It was back in the bus funny and he threw you under the bus. That was too much. He's not even fucking paid.

He's not even paid. He's gone to a real big business. Jesus. What's your team? Mike Brown. Mike Brown? You know what? We met about? Mike Brown. How we met? You know what?

We met about five years ago. I saw Rich. I saw Rich. I saw Rich. I bought Rich's CD. I have two Rich's CD signs. I break up my Wii. Oh, Nager.

You fucking bastard. You fucking bastard. What you mean? Nager, you are. What? Nager. What? What? What? I'm a Jew. Don't. You are a what a nager a nager Listen this is very expensive equipment everybody relax

Everybody relax nagging is like a pickup artist move to like shoot someone down to try to so that you can fuck down Okay, you you Google that to let's make it in a very short time? And E not and I don't know. I thought he was saying something negative about black people. No, no. Hanky sheaf. Hanky sheaf. I'm not giving it. Hanky what?

He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. I was good. He'll be down. He'll tell me what it would be.

He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. He'll tell me what it would be. Good even down with his Steve Harvey suits pick me on pick the claustard. Where do we meet? Oh? We I Happy false came in swinging you got to get him credit. He always does My big illness here. Where did we work? Yeah, I was getting it. I met you I was watching you and got them okay early early press audience dude that question was not real He was just talking shit. Yeah, no you was but I want to give respect No, but I'm gonna fucking say in your comic now. I love I like helping out new comic I

I've taken kids in the road Listen to me. All's hasn't had anyone. Anybody. Guy, everyone, person. He's book video. I'm telling you, I fucking take what I work on a road. You don't know. It's inside joke with me. Yeah.

I fucking, every time I go to a new town, I let the locals do guest spots. That's a lot more than I was doing. Anyways, you fucking... I was not on Saturday. I like the locals you get spot I like a lot beside these Big of you The street teasing those towns to help get the show's pack That's you give five minutes to pack any. Wait Tim, those towns. Do you want some promising? Can't you shoot? Listen, he's got it. Listen, you never helped your

middle-action. I tip everybody. Okay. You don't tip the middle-action. I tip the waiters and waitresses. You don't tip your middle-action. I do. I don't tip my middle-action. Why not? Because first of all, they get from the club. Yeah, they get paid barely. There's a fact You want to tip something tip the fucking host he makes nothing the more I can vote 150 a show But they don't eat. He's doing it. You need to find anybody that can I tip for readers and waitresses for fucking I don't know like that's your wife Fucking You fucking you fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking You fucking I was saying

All right, everybody here boss cheapest comedian 100% wrong on that. No, you are just the way that they talk shit about you. You don't give him I give him a hundred percent here So you're 100% 20 I give my 100% chip almost 20 I give my 100% chip almost 17 dollars I give major tips Big big tips Yes, yes, I give major tips You are the fucking worst We were a team

I did the law set I'm a scopo, fuck scopo What is he doing? You mean fucking field hockey hips along I use it twice because my new friends are here Are you fucking a lesbian? it looks like an organ not We tell fat Ellen to sit back down Back to defending it

But to it's very full Scope has a great ass I have a nice butt too, it's very full. Who? Scobo. Scobo has a great ass. Try that, let us see it. Turn around. How much was Scobo? Try, try, try. Scobo is 250.

250. More cushion. Keep, keep, keep, keep, is 150. Keep this 150. Keep this 150. You have to go down. All this problems. What problem?

Don't do it, this is a mess. You were below a thousand, you keep your mouth out. What problem Below a thousand you keep your mouth. Oh Oh, my god, those dollars What's up red eye He was already I My cup I never seen Mike just quiet. No, he was on the stage of the facts. I've never done radio with him No, he was on the stage. He just stated a fact. I've never done radio with him. Ah, well, you know what? I'm there. Come on your show now, boss.

We're gonna tell you to teach you your guests. This is me. We'll discuss it about comedy. Like I can talk about comedy all day. I'm like, this is successful. And then you talk shit about me afterwards on another podcast. I was on the radio. I like fucking bosses. Pick a low ass. Fucking jazz band asshole. Why are you dressing like this? What happened to you? Nothing, I just think. Maybe you saw him. He's saying, he's saying to tip money for that shirt.

I won't let that happen. I like it. Some comments, ad libbing isn't your skill. Like his set is key kills on stage, but he's not an ad livery. That's all right. We've known that about all. Oh, well don't like that. How'd you get it? He didn't like it. Neither nobody here like this.

He's bad. How'd you get a hat to match your beard? He's like you. And he's your beard. That's a take. We got it dumb dumb. Listen, listen what? I gotta get out of here I'm gonna get a guy man boss is gonna deal right now fucking the killing of the lion

Fuck no, what did you first of all do you we're talking about first one? One thing we're talking about how sucky ant man was be when you walked up that movie sucks Ant man That movie sucks. That shit. Ant-Man was pretty bad. He was a movie about an ant-man. So what do you talk about? What do you want? You knew what he was getting. You knew what you were getting. He got a talk in the ass.

You had a fucking movie about a long time. You had a fucking movie about a long time. You had a talk in the ass. He was a fortune-monger. I'm, yeah, I wore a tie. Ask Johnny's storm here, okay. How far do you say now? How far do you say now?

How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now? How far do you say now Back by No people are actually angry that um what Johnny Storm is black. Yeah. Oh, yeah, people complaining I was I was a mad that he was black, but he's not black in the comic book and It's a comic book and you say that to to say what? I mean I think that when people are

uh... when you love a comic book so much and you want to keep to its origins yeah you want it to be what it is when you read it and all of a sudden they switch it up and make them make it a girl and like that that's like why you make it a girl how did you make it a girl? when know, like that's like why you're making a girl? I'm just making a girl. When? Give me a instance. They did throw it. It was a girl now. Throw it was a girl now. And fucking ghostbusters.

Oh, no, I think it's like it's a girl. Now people who love ghostbusters are like, what the fuck? They have a serious here. Who love Bill Murray, Dan Acquire, those characters that created it. Yeah, but it's not a thing about the Beatles So they don't have a black Beatles. It's a fantasy any damn way. Yeah, it works. So what you would I mean the mixture of sense the flame is black It makes me a sense the flame is black

Because I was wondering why he wasn't racial after a little fire while he wasn't darker I feel a little sorry why he was in darker A giant white people you wouldn't buy it hold on let's me honest Hollywood didn't make them black because they were trying for that diversity they did it to get attention and they don't To make money that's it. They don't care about the art. Yeah, the two wipes storm stunk. I Fuck you dude Chris average was great. It was the best one. He was the best one. No, it wasn't fucking.

How are they gonna make things? You have to get a better assistant. Fantastic, son. Fantastic. I like this girl. I like this son. I like this son. What?

You know, that one with the girl in Captain America. What did you talk about the girl? The girl who was the last time? When did you go to the movies the last time? I was going to go who's the last time? When did you go to the movies the last time? There's no century as well, man. Oh yeah, that was good. Oh, this was false.

I liked to learn with the girl. Yeah. That was before I was sued. Yeah. Yeah. I was sued was perched. I love that she smashed and voss. It's making me happen.

You know what? Plus 5G. You're bound to get us some coffee today Poor Rainier Crotch Oh! A Canadian comeback! This is so cold, they poured it Here's the whole thing with a lion kill

No fucking will No Trump Stop it, nothing Did you read this today? No, no fucking will Trump stop it. Nothing. Did I read? Did you read this today? The Trump said, you're segues of masterful. He will fucking pay all the legal bills to this dentist.

Did anybody read this online? No, no. You have a producer that's just right here. Yeah, we do right here. Right here. No, no, no. There's not from this country. No, I have him and I have him. OK. You have a producer that's yeah, we do right here I have him and I have him

And then the girl that killed the giraffe is doing TV appearances now have you anybody see this? Yeah, bitch. I'm against the giraffe So why is too much why am I a giraffe? Have no to be pieces of shit. This lion was not a piece of shit. This is not a piece of shit. You're not a piece of shit. You're not a bad guy. Well, story-reading. What?

Story. What? I gotta go. I'm never going to podcast. See that? This is the last time I'm gonna do a podcast. I'm in there, guys. And you know what?

It was over. It was over. I'm not a story-checking. Enough. You like to play that dentist mommy to kill women? LAUGHTER Isn't it? Story checking stuff You like to play that Dennis mommy to kill women Is it got hold of the Do you background story checking stuff I want to throw up I go dizzy

Listen, I think it's a big that blind was actually cool as humans He was in a protected reserve. They lured on the fuck out and they shot off a lot of them yeah they tortured that fucking thing and that thing was friendly to humans like he saw humans as hey what's up guys I'll be over here doing my line shit you're still lying you're still lying yesterday you tomorrow that's what you're trying to say. What was that? Drum did say he's gonna pay it. He'll pay the bill for the dentist Is that great? The bill and all the legal fees that's insane, but the Santa like of money what is Is he just trying to take votes away from people?

people. I don't know what he's leading the polls. He's 23% and Bush is 17. What is this fucking Brewsters millions? This is not that he's leading the polls. Well, because he's popular. That's only reason why he's popular. I said popular. Get that dentist on a park. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don nothing to do. Nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do.

We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do.

We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do.

We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to do. We got nothing to. Where almost sold out where rich feel playhouse Must-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e I don't know My wife is made a fucking movie. She's doing a pilot right now The movie in 2005 no the movie that's dead fucking has almost got us our money back that I just got almost Listen it is just No We still know you for any Stop I always play It's not even been out a year Let me tell you I just got another cat for 6,000 almost

almost I was born in 1880 it was about 164 to 6,000 these fucking movies are fun is it chat room smoking? what's the chat room doing? Fuck your TV says this podcast should be called small bus funny. Oh, God. I'll see you later Hey, where's your CD at where's your DVD at?

Come on man, where's it at? What where can they get you DVD? On a Kevin Hart calm.com. Did that Kevin Heart talk about it? Yeah. Oh, they just trashed you. You know, you're his bitch. That's not what he said. Why are you looking at the phone? Why are you looking at the phone? Nothing on the phone. You try to get away. What? You guys want to go over to help you downstairs? Make sure they make it down the stairs. Check with Prokis because he likes to steal shit. What?

You are killing it. He actually did this Saturday to Ritchfield Playhouse. He comes to meet Bonnie and then Friday I'll be at Bridge Street locker. And some local favorites. What are you lined up with? We're on quarantine. Who's headlining? I am. You're headlining both shows. and some local favorites What about quarantine? Who's headlining?

You had line-in-bill shows. Do they want that or did you just say that that's gonna happen? Flontane, Bonnie, and me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no with Deepo could the local favorites My hon Paggy I met a guy in the airport last week. There's pretty really fucking volume Stop thinking about the fight Get the fuck out of here take it beat it flapjack take it come on kid hit the skids Y'all really fucked up this podcast what That was a plan what do you point that what does a microphone right there what?

That's the remote control. He hooked it up so he changes cameras with the remote control instead of a keyboard You know no more so we have five camera shoot up here and a 16 camera 16 Take a 16 shots and he does it with the remote He's got a dreamy set of eyes which one this one right here. Look at all thick and stuff. You know take the head She's like a little fucking John Mayer with no talent. Look at him. Take the Wow What that's what teeth is finished. Oh, teach what a done it took the hit Rock those old fucking Jerry after motherfucker's downstairs Oh

Thank you. Oh my god That is just fucking we're gonna blow through the break. We're going right through it. I'm gonna read this ad. Where's that ad? Do we have the ad? You, Rob1. Okay. Um, Jesus man.

Alright, real quick. We're with, I'll get the chat room ready. You got something in the chat. You want to ask, you want to talk, you want to say something, anybody in the room here or just get it going now because we're on 30 seconds behind in there. Hey, check this out. Golf's final major starts next week. the week fantasy golf site where you could win huge cash prizes every tournament. Just pick six golfers, pile up the points and pick up your cash and anyone can do this. Whether you love the game of golf or just want to try a new fantasy

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DraftKings.com. That's DraftKings.com. Of course, go to RadcastCast.com, 17. We're adding a new show very soon. I'm very excited about. We always try to add different shows. We don't have the same thing over and over. A lot of networks, you know, seem to just do the same

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I will back. What do you got in the chatroom deepu? Andres Malaghan says, Will's teeth look really nice today. There you go. It's a nice little positive thing, you know? That was good that you took something positive. Patrick Milligan says, Well, you took it about your favorite guy.

So now, we know you don't like me. So what do you have on me? Jason Jack says, Bobby Kelly is the best comedian I've ever seen. That's from him. What do you have on you? I'm not. Thank you, Jason. I'll take that. What else you got?

Stephanie Bizzouko says, I'll fuck Mike for 500 got you be Andrea Stephanie that's my girl is that your girl what yeah, what do you mean? Oh? You this mic. Okay, yeah, that's your girl. Yeah, that's my girl. Oh, you're real girlfriend So she doesn't really fuck this Mike I thought you fucked up my up my thoughts why you're your tone was like that's my girl. That's not even she up within your price. What? I'm still 200. Yeah, but she said she'll fuck Mike for 500. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's not

You put everything money. I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Yeah. No shit. She came to barbecue. Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember. I know that was a crazy do for me I just follow me anybody I know it was a crazy shit ever man three hours in the ring cooking it was great that was a fun time right really was you got it you you have you broke up with your girl right I did yeah we were talking about that before the podcast yeah wow I didn't even know you had a girl congratulations deep you didn't know you had a girl Congratulations, Deepam. You didn't know you had a girl How long you moved your girl? I mean we dated for about a year and a couple months. I thought you would was this a range

Actually, the German question. Yeah, I mean she is Indian so that was that was a big factor in it That was a that was definitely a big factor in it. You know really? Yeah, definitely for her are you both of us for sure? So your family wants you to marry an Indian absolutely. Wow. What if you marry a Puerto Rican? Is that close enough? It'll take it There will definitely have to be like an integration process for sure really. I think so what they be pissed if you married me You specifically yeah, but I mean Why goes in general why goes in general i i think i think a lot lower than portory

why would you be if you if so we're back to the fall on that list uh... they prefer that the most well they would love that now i'm kidding of course if

if if if i'm kidding of if if i'm if if and i'm never gonna work again not your work to I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Or maybe a light skin black kid like Mike with an education Definitely not a fucking haste a mumbling haste

You think you're gonna ask you one of the family parties Come down come down come down. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. What is this chicken? I don't know what that was an act out. I took her risk. Yeah, I applaud the effort. How do you expect to explain that Indian marrying in Haitian? That was pretty good. How are you saying before that you put up with her? Yeah, I thought I would give it a shot because she's Indian.

I'm Indian. But you didn't get along at all. What's that you didn't get along at all? We had nothing in common. You know she didn't blow you you was in You talked about that before yeah, that was the thing you know she was she wasn't the type wait wait Is that the Indian girls don't blow? Oh, that's a lot. No, no, I think I think she doesn't blow She watches the vagina my logs a lot, you know, she's that type What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Oh, I was making a feminist joke

Oh wait wait, that was a joke, but I was real But you get offended at a feminist joke no, it's like it. No, that was a joke. He didn't like that That was not real and still suck dick. No, no, no, no, no, that was a joke. He that she didn't really do that I was when I open my good joke. That she didn't really do that. I was an open micro joke. Tell us the facts, man. That was the facts. What else do I know? Why did you pull up with her for a year and a half?

I mean, we had fun together. We'd fall around and she was pretty. But I don't think there was long-term potential in it. That's all. You broke up with her? Yeah, I did. You fucked up. Last time I saw you, we were planning.

I mean, it's mostly my fault. What did you say? Last time? We were planning ways for you to break up with her by just forcing her to break up with you. Like to be the biggest piece of shit ever. What do you do? I mean, I was like proposing cheating on her,

you know, all the classics, but you were just like, it's just, you know, it's just, it's, yeah. I mean, you're very free sexually. I remember I met you. I was like, the one thing that struck me is you Fuck story wasn't you telling me oh You were getting fucked in the butt and you shit on the dude's dick. Yes. I Projectiles classic everywhere. Is that on purpose? No, well

My money's on Indian food Mexican food she's probably fantastic for that's her power I did What are you gonna do now? I'll never forget you I'll never forget you I mean I recently peed on a guy on purpose wearing sex and he was... And the bed? Yeah, in the bed.

He requested it? Yeah. What do you say? He kept like... What did Norton say? Yeah. He kept mentioning that it's something he used to do and I was like, all right, I'm gonna... When you were peeing, what was going on?

I wasn't peeing in his mouth, I was peeing on his chest. Chest. You could peeing on the man? Well, I drank like six bottles of water. You was peeing on his chest. Forza. You could be on command. Well, I drank like six bottles of water. Because the first time I tried to do it, I got shy. And it was like, it's a lot of pressure. You're like on set and it's like, it's time for you to piss. Yeah, I couldn't do it.

And then I drank a shit ton of water and then I just. So let me get it. Now did it smell bad? No, it didn't smell anything. Did you squat or like, how would you? I was on top and then I would, I me get it. It's now did it's now bad. No, it's like anything. Did you squat or like how would you I was on top and then I would I would like I would I would kind of like shimmy forward and then did you use one of those funnels? No, I just freestyle all of it.

So yeah, so it just shot right down in his chest. Yeah, whenever. He was he was hard that turned the wrong. Yeah, he loved it. I it was fucking amazing. Who's bad wasn't? I his bed. So wait a minute. You liked it too turned them on yeah, he loved it. I lay was fucking amazing. He's better wasn't I his bed So wait a minute you liked it till oh, yeah, really it was so I never get peed on no

What would that cost? No, no, no, no. I don't know that. Would you let your boyfriend be on you? Would you be on that? Probably, yeah. Just to try. No, I mean, you can do it in the bed. Yeah, but the bed, you make your ruin in a mattress. Apparently, you two have never bought a mattress. Because when you become an adult and it costs 1800 for a good mattress

I'm not letting my wife piss on me on it. We're going in the shower and you piss there and then we clean it up. And this is got Bill Gasemann just bought another mattress. No, you can have either his plastic cheeks that you could buy. Yeah, you can buy plastic. Hold on, why do you know? Why do you have to have my my ass? I just know about it. I thought it was fun. Why did you hold your hand? Because this is what you put, this is what you put. This is what you put. This is what you put on.

This is what you put on. That's how we fucking repair shit. You've done this this whole life. She rock, windows, doors, fucking pee, past, pee, pee, pee, a problem problem. You're a problem problem. You're a problem problem. Yeah.

Because pee in the shower, that's kind of predictable, and it kind of takes the, uh, Hold on, hold on, my stop. You could pee on. You it kind of takes the Yeah, it's in the ocean. No, no, no, you in the ocean you've peed on somebody in the ocean No, my usual thing in the ocean you've peed on somebody sexually Mike. Did you like it? Did you like it Mike? Why are you holding out? I'm not holding it. I'm talking. I don't like to be pushed will especially by somebody from the third world I don't like to be pushed will especially by somebody from the third world I don't care for it third Deep who's third Hey

You've been peed on in the ocean. Have you ever peed on somebody? We did it simultaneously in the ocean? She doesn't count you fuck where you standing like knee deep and you let the p go on you And then you submerge or you're just both submerged both both submerged like No, my Story wasn't good enough for you you have to be honest and then you shit on my honesty Is this gonna get people to open up more? Is it I mean, I don't know. I'm asking a real question. And...

I'm kidding. You... How does it eat up? Mike, Mike Kagan magazine has dimples. I have makeup. How can I open now if you're just gonna use shit on me? Now, you just went up to 400. That's fine.

Oh, this is the funniest show So Mike, have you ever peed on somebody? No, can't do the pee you have you been peed on? I've done I've done the anal pull out with the you a shit That happened to me I was having a name sex with this girl and it was just a mess Dental what happened so that happened to me too I was having a name sex with this girl and it was just a mess Like her shit chocolate on your own and it's I don't I don't fuck I don't want shit on my dick Yeah, but you don't blame the girl for that you can you can blame? You blame you take one of the shit. Yeah, you take it. How about not eat so much

You take one of the kids. How about not eat so much? And people on and shit on how I'm gonna give you the gift of her ass and then you're gonna fucking complain How's this? How's this? You need dessert and you need that fucking appetizer. Have a salad settled down If I'm gonna stick my fucking dick in your bum, all right? You're doing her favor settle down Wash your ass out. How the salad in South Yeah I don't need fucking I don't need fucking shit on my dick because you're a fucking, you can't stop on a buffet in Vegas, all right? It's a scissor.

So when you shit on that guy, did you just, did you go into that? No, it was, it was a tender hook up. Wow, wow. Did he rate you after? I had five brown stars. I just, he was drunk and I just started being sober. And I ordered food because I thought that would be cool to have food because he was coming over and I had Mexican food because I'm a fucking idiot. You ate Mexican food from where? Like Brooklyn?

Yeah, some of them are like a truck. Like a truck? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, with real Mexicans? Yeah, yeah, real Mexicans. Right, there's no dance soda as a waiter. No. Hey guys, can I get you some of our avocado dip?

No one was making the guacamole in front of me. It was fucked from a bag. So wait, wait, did you plan on this anal sex? No, but- Oh, so then you had Mexican food did you plan on this anal sex? No, but- Oh, so you had Mexican food, do you have an X-Men? I don't have an anal sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not always banking on anal, but if it's coming,

then you know, you gotta try to do this. It's not about the normal rotation, like, you know, like, you know, I'm not like Wednesdays anal and then Friday. So wait, how long since you ate the food, you guys had sex? How long time passed? How much time passed?

15 minutes. So he, well, he really went right through him. Yeah, I mean right through you So he was basically fucking sticking his dick in your exam which from this morning. Yeah, yeah I was right and then he did he hit the he went through like fucking the lunch Some sushi some balls There's a feeling when you're having anal sex like think you're gonna shit yourself. Yeah, that's called the dick Both the time I don't know if you guys know about having dicks in your ass, but there's a feeling like you're gonna Shit most of the time you're not yeah, and you just work through it. Yeah, but I I called it wrong

You pulled an audible Warning you did a warning before no as soon as the button is pressed your fuck In a way kind of what was it your place or his place my place Your place is leave yeah his place his place So I think after you did that that he got up and leave with the y'all. We took a shower shower. Yeah. And then I changed the sheets and I put him to bed because he was wasted now. So we smell like shit. And then I sat on the toilet for a while because I my testons really hurt. This is really gross. Are you ready for this? No. So did it sound like somebody's poop-pig of your ass? My intestines were still fucked up from the shit. Yeah and so I was like having diarrhea but I couldn't I was afraid that you

would hear the sound. Yeah. So yeah. I heard that. She's sitting again. No, fuck your ass. Oh, get numb. And so I started. Where's your 500 dollars? I started, I heard that you can like cover your asshole like a trumpet with toilet paper to like stop the air sound. Do you believe everything you read on paper? I can't believe you shittin' on a guy and then we're embarrassed that he would eat his food. I know, we're on the fucking shick here.

So no, I'll put it in. She said she was pizza. It was so drunk. I love that she went to Gizmod And found how to silence your ass hole How to make the silence of your ass? No, no, no, no, friend of mine told me this is like if you're in a trip with a guy and you go shit You just put it a toilet you wadded up and you put it against your asshole to mitigate the sound But it was coming out with a pillow. Yeah, and you exactly and it but it was coming out so fast

I was shitting on my own hand and then rinsing my hand And it but it was coming out so fast I was shitting on my own hand and then rinsing my Hours it was like oh And he was oh my god, he was passed the fuck out and I was like this was pretending to be passed out You go can you help me My one of my great if you would have shit on this dick and then just went back to eating Mexican food. Yeah, and then... Right after that, just after we were fucking soldier. I... Oh god, what a nice, really nice story.

Yeah, it was awesome. What a fucking... How long ago is this? It's really bad, right? One week. Alright, now it's about a year ago. And obviously... Oh, shit, sorry.

Have you seen him? No, but we actually kinda dated for like... After that? After that? Wow. In this casual encounter? He's not just not a comic. Shit sorry, have you seen him? We actually kind of dated for like after that after that Wow He's not a comment. Do you remember it? Yeah, you're Past out drunk you remember that you get you passed out drunk you be black out Why you guys didn't continue happen? We're like owning a new puppy. I'm gonna get a penny can.

You know shit of my dick. No. Why you guys break up? Why you guys in continue relationship? I'm a shit. You're gonna marry her. How do you like it? I Kids here's a good story First-made you mom yeah She shit on my dick and then she had diarrhea for an hour. I just kept sitting on her hand

I was throwing up the window You shit like your mother daddy. Why do you matter? What's somebody shit on you? It's just a connection you make Was it was it fucking smelly poo or was it just smelly poo or was it just D-boo? It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It was It Not as much as you would think it would. So you dated him for a while. Yeah. That's pretty epic. Yeah, it was cool.

And it never happened again. No. You're very, you've never really learned. How long has it been? And it didn't happen again? No, it didn't happen again. You actually broke up with him. Projectile.

He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up. You're good? You're good? You're good? There's a safer. You broke up with him. I'm assuming. There's no way he's picking up with you. You're the first to know. Are you good? You're good?

It's a safer. You broke up with him, I'm assuming. There's no way he's picking up with you. Why? I mean, he survived the fucking Ginn shit on. It was like a mutual. It was mutual. Who was that? A mutual. That shit don't exist. He moved to Chicago. And it was like, we were just, it was kind of a stupid relationship.

Hey, so, so you guys ever have any other incidents with that? At all. You're getting so like, uh, what do you want? Tell me about your hands. Hey, Jim. Hey, Jim. Do you have a condom on? Yeah.

For anal? Yeah. That's cool. That might happen. A, 3, 2, 1. Also, A. Oh, yeah, also A3 Yeah, what are you fucking mad?

If you gotta use it in a way, you're crazy. If you gotta eat it, what are you gonna do? If you gotta have it, they're my girlfriend. Christopher, Christopher, look at me. Don't even mad. If you're gonna fucking use a condom, that's when you use it. Yeah, that's just lit up.

No, dude, it's lit up. Oh, it's lit up. The asshole, it gets caught easy. It blood, it's very sensitive skin. and when you put your fucking big lesbian helmet You're gonna get you're gonna tear it a little bit you're gonna get blood and you get blood That's how you get AIDS man. Yeah, that's how you get disease. What if they don't have AIDS? I'm not gonna fuck a random I'm not gonna fuck a random girl in the ass That's same day. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, I

Didn't think about that. All right relax. I mean worried about not sex that over you. Hey, man Which yeah, it is I'm not fucking a random girl in the ass No, but I think that's kind of pop the pull off with a condom I think what is 80 sex? I don't think so Now if that girl assholes big, right on what's up? Yep. I think that's what's so easy. Give me the towel thing. If a girl likes anything, ass or ass is ready to get a dick in it. Yeah. Okay, it's not like the first time anal, yes. Very hard to do. Probably easier to do with your, oh just a raw dick. Maybe put your helmet in a couple times.

But a chick was took in the butt a couple times, likes a little anal. It's not that hard to fucking get in there and you get a lube, you good to go. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Why are you mad? Why are you mad? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I hear what you're saying. Maybe it's just doesn't. I don't know.

What was why you said? I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. Have you ever fucked somebody else well with that monster cock? You should have been allowed to. Couldn't go in. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what What is that big? It's not real, well, well. Stop for once again. Can we please show her your deck? It's not that big. I, it's real. Okay. And you, and you, and you, stop, stop, stop. When you show the deck, please close your eyes. He's gonna get the thing.

And I'll tell you to open it. Michael, hold it in front of you. I just need to get your natural response. You're like, you know what I'm saying? So tell me when you get in the up, it's not that. Tell me when, tell me you got it. All right? For an avatar.

Everybody calm down. Calm down. and all the price adjustments I really do get excited when will takes his dick pick out I can do it I can hold it up to her face okay No, no a little up further so she can see it. Okay open your eyes Whoa that's big right that's big any price adjustment on that 900 no no do you need to zoom in but you Halfway down your leg yeah, wow what would you do with that? I? Don't want to fuck with that. You don't die It's pretty crazy. Yeah, whoa Mike. Have you ever done the bum? It's insane

I caught a peripheral I wasn't trying to look at it Peripheral and it's insane. It's insane. You shouldn't be proud of it So there is there anything It's a little stupid. They'll say like no to you. You want to dig that big sometimes you're like whoa I don't I don't even know if I Yeah, do you took the girl that was I know like they were so big it caught my peripheral. Yeah Thank you Mike I don't holy shit. He's like hurt emotionally. Yeah, it's like really it's like come back from the war. I see some shit Shit, you didn't know

Yeah, yeah, you did it. You know he did by his asses before but no condom no and no condom girlfriend That's why you like it. Yeah, you did you did Okay, it's not it's not shit on you dick. It's that Um, I have yeah, really yeah, it's a ski. not shit on you dick. It's that um, yeah, I have yeah really yeah, isn't ski You even got to know that going in yeah, yeah, you got another one risk. It's the risk It is what it is you don't have a person you see him in being man whose idea was is I think that's a mutual thing That's a talk you got to have really and then it's a and then somebody brings it up Mike you talk to you like them on to it I know I don't know I just don't go in there.

I can talk about it. OK, cool. I, I, I, I, I was respectable. Damn. I'm a real good. You know, I, I, I, I, I, with that dick, you have to have a big conversation. Yeah.

Before you start trying to work that thing and anything. For a fucking vagina, you have to be conversation. Unless it's a baby elephant. I think you have a plan of attack. Like a six-month plan. Yeah. I've, I've fucked up a baby elephant. You have a plan of attack like a six month plan. Yeah. I've fucked up a butt before, but it's always,

most of the time, it's been in the heat of passion. Where you fucking, you fucking, and you playing with a butt while you're fucking her, and then you kind of rub around it, and then you kind of pop that helmet in her butt. And she does that little grind, like that little fucking, oh, you fucking dirty pig. And then it push it, and she does that little grind, like that little fucking, really fucking dirty pig,

and then it push it in and she's like, yeah, and then take it out and put it in, you know what I mean? And then it's in her butt, but I've never fucked a chick totally in her asshole, like I'm fucking your ass. It's always been in the heat of passion. When the assholes all wet up and I've been rubbing it for a lick in her pussy. The pussy just

been dripping in a button sweat and rubbing her ass and then you know pop it in a little bit. I mean I've never said, well one girl, I guess one girl I did. I fucked two girls in the ass and I was trying to fuck the pussy. That happened to me. That happened to me. I did this when I was around 25, early in my comedy career, hot bobby. I remember, I fucking met this middle-aged woman. She was like 38. Still smoking though, in a dress at a show, took her back to my place when I lived with the men to retarded guys, and I had a water bed.

And I remember, I remember I was a little fucking weary because she had nylons on and it was like the summer I was like I don't trust chicks with nylons in the summer. I suck that shit in. That's weird man. So I remember I just I just I this is my thing this is my game I take a chick back to the my house my apartment and I just get naked and they'd be like what are you doing but I was so in shape. I was so

confident. I was like, this is my place. What's wrong? And it worked. I remember I go, I started fucking, and I'm like, yeah, you like that. It was all wet and mushy. I was like, you fuckingless. I love it. I love it in my ass. I was like, it's in your ass. I was like a senior ass I got all grossed out because you know me. I got I was like you get naked with salt or a wreck. I got a naked hanging Recoorded three quarters. Okay. That's a boss confident move. That's a real super confidence It was my move man. I take it back to my house. That's a good move. Here's that weed already kissed in the parking lot.

We kissed in front of my house. Grotted side the room, made the fuck out, rub the pussy, rub the titties, made out, and then I just take my clothes off. Would you go into another room and then come out naked or just do it right there to be like, what do you do? We thought you just come in the house. And you just start ungressively. You said, hey, make yourself comfortable.

Come down, come down. Come down, come down. You got a lot of details out there. Come down, come down, come down. Come down, come down. It worked every time. I would fucking, we kiss some shit, we get a little going, get a riled up, and then I just take my clothes off And she's like and she'd be sitting like what the fuck you're doing and I'll be like I'm getting naked

This is my my room. This is my place She's like you can't just get I'd be like a You can get naked too But this is my room. I feel comfortable and then I go over He didn't say leave though didn't give you the option Neither did Kobe So then I walk over Cosby I got me I got off and naked I walk over naked start kissing them again

And then they just grab you shit and you'd be fucking Bobby. I know dude They really did that with no kissing girl walk and look and freaking Everybody has their own style my style was kissing and they take their clothes off and they like what's out? We do we're gonna waste time on that Yeah, and then sometime the girls ladies and time the girls stay are we gonna waste time or not? Yeah, my kiss in wouldn't prevent that waste time I would kiss them. They'd be like, oh, this is great And I'd stop right mid kiss take my clothes up. They're like what the fuck?

We were just having a my please went This is I was really like into it and you get what the fuck are you doing and now I'm naked and I'd walk I'd be like what? And I'd walk over and kiss him again and it's done. So all you have to do is get naked too and we're fucking. Can you get today? Huh? I could do that today with an elderly woman.

If I met a hori slutty like 58 year old woman from Algeria, I could do that. Or I could give her a thousand and you're doing Fuck me dude. I just don't like I think anal sexes It's the hottest shit in the world, but I always felt bad after it. I always felt like like fucked up I always felt like I did something dirty. Yeah, it's a little like shit. Now it's in my dick hole I started thinking about that movie, Chris Rock did that animated film, what's that? He was like a fucking algae or some shit. Osmosis Jones?

Yeah. I started thinking about all the, you know, just like a fucking Osmosis Jones shit in my dick. You're doing that and then you're thinking about bacteria. Yeah, it's like, oh dude. Does anybody have a microscope? Yeah. Yeah, I got fucking all of my dick. You're doing that and then you're thinking about bacteria. Yeah, it's like, oh dude, does anybody have a microscope? Yeah, I got fucking all of my dick. My dick is that Play-Doh thing and you just, ugh. And then the other time I had poop on my dick was when I got a massage lady started sucking

my dick. And I got carried away and I jumped off the table and just stuck it in her poop or my accident Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was, she wanted to suck my dick. Oh, this is the Bobby. You was like, see Bobby at this, okay. What? It's just that moment. Yeah, she wants to suck my dick. So I bent her over the thing. I started fucking on the butt.

And as I was fucking her, I like a smell it. You know, so I like, it went in and I smelled something. And then went in again, it smelled something. Well, I'll go through up right now. And then went again, I can smell it real bad the last the third pull out Like I had just shit and I was like And I had to go take a shower. She's like I'm sorry What was that option the vaginal is missing why you chose

Like there's a vagina right there. Why do you chose that when I'm I'm curious? Yeah, it's first you don't want to get a pregnant right me I don't I dude I fucked up I didn't I was inner butt and I thought it was a pussy I didn't you know I told you I did that a couple times right I stuck in a chick's butt and I thought it was the pussy because it just went right to fucking how big right how big and

but all housemoves your dick I think it's a combination I think it's a combination I was like a true politician I would have to say combination of factors not too small but the rest of us not too big but just right for my digs to go in like Ant-Man. Perfect storm. Yeah. It's a fucking weird it's weird man. Sex can get grimy and gritty like peeing on somebody. I always kind of wanted to piss on a chick. It's so fun. You're allowed to pee on something. Where else is that? Okay. Kelly Fishing. Yeah. the cleanup work is a good point though. Yeah, if you do it in the shower, it's not a big deal But that takes all of the fun out of it. It's like you

ocean, but that was That's called shower. Yeah, I take that better than a shower shower. So like it's a power thing You're pissing on someone. So you like pissing on somebody because you that makes you power Oh, how much of a cost for you to piss on me? $25. Spotted. How do I ever piss on me on this table? I want you to sign the table.

I know it's just shit. You know what's more power than pissing on somebody? Shitting on somebody. Would you shit on somebody? She did. No, I mean like on squad. Oh purpose, squad. You know what? Probably not because it's like a lot., I mean like, on squat. Oh, purpose squat. You know what?

Probably not because it's like a lot. It takes longer to shit on something. Does eat that Mexican food yet? Yeah, I don't know. The pee because you can come and pee and come and pee. You come and pee? Yeah, I would like squirt and pee and squirt. And it was amazing.

Wow. It was squirt. Now I am. I wasn't before, but now that I was like, I don't know what it was in here this podcast. It's gonna hunt you am I wasn't before but no, I don't know what doesn't hear this podcast Down It's a new chapter Squirt P no

Read something on one of these feminist sites. Oh, yeah, one of these feminist website. Yeah, I don't know which one There's so many Jezebel I think we're Jezebel. We're talking about squareness, actually, parts of like urine or whatever. Well, because I was reading, because I was so nervous, and I was getting antsy about doing it, and so I read more about it, so you just have to let go. And a lot of women don't come because they're afraid they're gonna pee.

That's like a common feeling. So if you know you're gonna fucking pee, just let it fall. It's a lot easier for you to just come and just Women don't conquer. They didn't they go on pee. Yeah a lot of the time. You're like who the I'm what the fuck did you just Why would you just try to do an infant Slow down we got we got plenty of time You look to rush your We don't come what they think they're gonna pee

We didn't heard that like you haven't sex and she's like oh my god. I'm gonna pee. I'm gonna pee you've never heard that You know I've heard it. Okay, okay, okay, you're sitting there and you're like, this could get like, I'm on the press bus or something. And it could be pee and I don't, I don't know this person. Yeah, if I had a girl like, it's like, stop that I had to pee. And then go to the bathroom,

I don't know, I don't have to pee. And then it's pressing against a platter. I don't know what it is, but you're pressing an arrow. Same thing. I never liked when girls squirted when I was younger, but now I kinda like, wait, you had girls squirted back then?

I'm sorry Just making me you heard me no, no, no, it's not me. I swear to go to you. They mean I swear to God Yes, I don't know what you said you had girls squirted back then squirted. I had girls squ now I'm like well using the past tense in the present happened in the past it would be good past then in the end they used to squirt it sounds like an assassin I don't say the question. I do have a question. I do the question. You had it. I want to give this podcast to you.

I want you to have it. I want you to have it. I want you to have D-Poot. Back then. Back in the days. When we squirted on you. Yes. I had the first sexual experience I had. One of the first ones, the first major, what age?

I was probably 13. You fucked that 13. I fucked earlier than that. Fucked at 10. Okay, I don't know what I was doing. Don't get me. I'm out there banging. What's up, girls? I never watch on. And you know, I was, I was, I was fucking, you know, it was I was I was fucking you know it was terrible I shouldn't have done it but all my friends there was this girl

Carrie this local chick. Squirty Carrie. Big titties. She was in a 30s of some shit. New hell? 13? I was 13. That's the pedophile. There was a bunch of other people. No there was a bunch of other guys there like five. She's a pedophile. Hang on man. Let me finish the cops and tell a story thank you Michael and They would fuck she would blow us Us kids and fuck and I didn't know what I was doing. I was just trying to fit in and They'd be like do go fuck or go fuck her and I went we're on this bus and I went to go fuck her and

I put my dick in like last She she was Yes, I don't think you slow. I think she was a I don't know crazy mentally unstable 30 fucking 13 year old So yeah, maybe I don't know I was fucking not you know, I don't know what I was doing either But I remember I stuck it in and she she discharged But I remember I stuck it in and she discharged. Now the water came out on my dick. Skateboard on your dick. I was so fucking appalled.

I was so in shock. It fucked me up for a long time. That's a lot like first sexual, yeah. This was like, everybody was taking turns. It was like one after the other. That's, man. And it was gross, man. But I had no choice.

They would do it, though it. I was in that. I was pushed into a lot of sexual shit. That's why I'm so, I cry when I think of my son now, because I know so much of what not to do. I don't know what to do all the time, but I know so much of what not to do to this kid because of what was done to me. You know what I mean? I have so much, so many times, so much sexual stuff that was presented to me.

So many times that I did stuff that just fucking I didn't know. Some of it was just plain normal that it would and I carried around me because of Religion or what other people said guilt for so fucking long and I just felt fucked and Then when I finally had to fit in with these guys Because I did what I was a fuck they wanted me to even know I felt bad about it And I didn't feel good about doing any of the shit. So I had a lot of fun. That's why now sex with me, it's taking me into my 40s to kind of get a hold of it because sex became something that I did. I, you know, I, you know, I got

sober. Everything, I didn't have to pick up a chick. I didn't have to make out with chicks. I was talking to chicks about God. I got sober, I was 15. At 16, I was going to meeting 17. I remember talking to this chick, I moved to this new neighborhood. And she was like, hey, you know, you knew, and she liked me, because I was a good looking kid.

But then I was like, yeah, man, you know, it's new, but it's hard, but I talked to my higher power and every day, you know, I say this right in the park, because you know, you know, because it's really about mine. And she's like, what the fuck? It's gotta go. It's bad. And then I met this guy, Mark Caesar, at a meeting. And I remember, I was sitting there, the guy says, you want to fucking make friends go to a meeting far enough away from your house and don't get a ride home so you have to meet people you aren't coming home so that's what I did I went to this meeting and I was a young people's meeting at a hospital that I

went to when I was in rehab a couple times and I actually in jujee and then I went in this kid there he walked in I'm like hey can you give me ride home he goes now I was like fucking what I started scared then all of a sudden the other come hey I'm new can you guys not I can't do it I was like oh fuck I'm fucked then all of a sudden I don't know what this dude fucking long hair ripped T-shirt fucking tight jeans boots bracelets rocker comes fucking bouncing in. And I remember I was in Juve Hall and he did a meeting. I go, hey dude, I remember you from Shelter Kid,

can you give me a ride home? He was, fuck yeah dude, I'll be right back. He went over to the piano, started playing piano. Three blonde fucking chicks just went over to him, titties hanging out. These hot chicks are an AA. Dude, he's a surprise. A lot of my life went to the door while I'm laughing. Dude, he's a surprise. A lot of my life.

About to throw a lot of hot chicks in AA. A lot of, oh fuck yeah dude. I went to Benningons that night, talked to chicks. He taught me how to pick up chicks again. He fucking schooled me on how to, he goes to, you gotta reverse the blue balls. Chick-a-blue balls too. How you gonna see?

Just reversing. He was 18. Are you 15? I was 17. He was 18, 19. I was 17. He just, he taught me. He goes, dude, just keep making out with him. Grace the pussy. Don't touch it. Keep grazing it until they fucking, until when you touch it, they go, just what they do to you. You didn't dick. Do that with the pussy. And then right when you got him around 20, 30 minutes in, you put your finger in it and then take it out. And she's gonna lose her fucking mind. Guarantees are gonna rip you dick out and just swallow it.

And I was like, all right, and I did it and it fucking worked. This guy taught me how to fuck again. It was crazy. Crazy. Where is he now? He's dead he's in fucking Miami dude with a smoking hot fucking Spanish I'm talking Spain oh that's the real first gorgeous right gorgeous kids they look down on the

Puerto Rican tons of money families loaded yeah he was in a band he was fucking singer went to Berkeley, fucking great dude. I learned from that kid taught me a lot of shit, man, a lot of shit. Yeah, and then I met a chicken, she broke my heart. I met this chicken, I fell in love with her. What was her name? Her name was Kristen. My age. Oh, never trust a Kristen. do you either? I had to be 19 20 actually breaking heart. I met her at Grossman's bargain all that I was I worked with a young beloved young Lumber yard's flat stacking the lock. Yeah, you can't talk neither. That's because it's rubbing off

And she was engaged She started working there one day and She came in hang on one second. Oh my god. Yeah, but she came in this was this back in the Air Nassau for that one. Wow. Yeah, I saved him and me I was I was a fucking I was a conduit from God I remember we hooked up this is how I got it. I I was a conduit from God later on in the mechaya. I remember we hooked up, this is how I got it. I made, you brought it into the room. My mom made American Chop Sui.

American Chop Sui and I had it in my container. And I went, you want, you want, you want the American Chop Sui? I took up, I took up stairs in this fucking workroom. And my mom's American chop-soo is good I bought me a bagel month and that's how he got me. Yeah food man. So good. So so you knew she was engaged New shit you wasn't she liked me though man from the second she saw me I knew break your heart

We hooked up that day made out after the American chop-soo. I just started kissing her. I said, meet me, meet me tonight. Here's my number. She met me. I took her to this spot by the ocean, but there was this wall, and the waves would come crash over the wall, over the car. So it was kind of like this fucking sexy like water world shit, You know what I mean? Like, and I took her there and I ate her ass out. She never had an ass eatin'. So I was eatin' a pussy and then I just started fucking suckin' on her ass hole and she lost her mind.

I was just a dirty motherfucker. And that was it. Me and her were fuckin' boyfriend and girlfriend after that. Wash your face. Broke it off. Right after that. Week later told him, I can't do it. We started dating.

Here's the trick. Two years later, man. I remember, we weren't fucking anymore. We got fat. We got fat. We joined karate together. But then we started going to this buffet across the street Instead, I mean we started I remember we used to fuck all the time and then I remember I remember she

We started getting tuna melts Kind of food you remember the kind of food we started getting tuna melts you have a tuna mouth Yeah, we started getting tuna melts and pizzas and we go to this tree But we used to fuck and we'd eat tuna mouths and pizzas and take naps and We used to fall asleep like two fatties under a tree and then she she went to college and one day I found this number Steve In her pot. I talked about this before. Right? Probably a business major. I found it's a Steve. Just a number.

Here I am in college, going to college. I'm starting to get fat. No, I am fat. I'm starting to get fat, but I'm air brushing now. I'm doing art. She's going to college. She goes, can you please make me all my sorority girls sweatshirts? Oh, and she's a sorority girl too.

So I made all these sorority shirts. This is so grime. Airbrushed for the hockey team. And she was fucking Steve from the hockey team. How do you know just from what you found a number? How do you know she was fucking? I found, because I found Steve. I found Steve.

You found him. I found the name. And then she told me it was a cousin and then I just I knew man I got that you know when your chicks fucking around isn't it you know what I'm saying there's like there's that you're not being what you are your energy is fucking off a tick yeah you didn't show up when you need to the phone right yeah you, that eighth ring. You fucking know, and I knew, and I took her on the porch, and I go, I need, I sat there for two hours. It, I lied to her. I was like,

it's okay. I still love you. Things happen. You just tell me, because I know there's nothing wrong. And then two hours and she goes, okay, I, Steve is a guy on the hockey team. And we're, we're having sex. I was like, I knew. You fucking bitch. I fuck you suck my dick. I was out. I left. Oh man. Yeah. Wow. So you know what that means, right? Claw my man. Well, yeah. You know, a girl, your girl cheats is gonna cheat on you. Yeah, so different. Yeah. But she's cool now. Like she everybody I think gets their shit together at a certain point. She she a fat mess? Nope. She's cool. She's got a husband.

She's married. She's got kids. Her life is good. How old Steve? I was 20. That's when I started going on a tear. That's when I started just fucking. I didn't want to add girl.

She may do go in reaction. She's telling you to the house. I know the next girlfriend I had. That's an actual reaction. Next girlfriend, my wife. Wow. She made you Batman? She made me Batman. You're absolutely right. Well, she made me Batman. You never had that? Yeah, who I Can't I'm gonna say a name right. Yeah Yeah, we've all had that everybody right I thought you know, I've had a girl you don't fuck no Mike No, but Mike everybody's had that jealous everybody's been crushing heart Mike

Yeah, Mike. Yeah, I had a good week. Well, you're a hollus. I grow up is engaged to you You were you? Yeah, I wasn't really I was gonna do this. I was engaged. I was teaching Wow, I was gonna get married you gonna teach what was teaching kids teaching kids at the emotional problems get the fuck out of the masters and he Now you know fucking scope oh Same thing. Yeah, no, but that's that's the shit that pushes you it pushes you to fucking it drives My was fucked up behind that man. I will ain't it fucks everybody up It might you was fuck me up. It did fuck me up. What how fuck you up how? It hurt me. It hurt me bad. How long? It hurt me bad

for. I fucked up. Five seven. Now. Now. Now I recover. You know, I remember she buried Mary. Yeah, kids. Was it with the guy? Was it did she cheat on you yeah with this guy what's that with this guy yeah I think so oh I think so but I'm pretty good about like not looking at the past and I'm pretty good about you don't want to wake those feelings up man yeah I don't I don't I don't stew and I'm not curious what's this for you no purpose yeah for comedy wow for that push them wow that's how I started comedy.

Wow. I started going to open Mike's and I'm like, who gives a shit? Because he was a comedy, or kill his bitch. I was supposed to hate the world. It's either Voodoo or you win the ring of the machete. Oh, man. But I feel like everybody's got that in their pet, you know, everybody's got that heartbreak

that fucking drives them to do whatever thing, to fuck a bunch of bitches or to into comedy or to whatever. I've got why I did comedy too. I had a guy that I was in love with, and he wouldn't date me, he always would just do an open fucking thing, and he would always bring up his ex-girlfriend, and I was just so in love with him that I would just take it. It didn't matter. It didn't matter.

And then one night he came home drunk and started talking about the ex-girlfriend again, and I'm like, I can't fucking. I just can't do this to myself. But I was best friends with him and this other guy, and we all hung hang out in a group and then it was just like, I can't hang out with this group anymore, I can't, all my friends are gone, this guy's gone, everything's fucking, you know, over. So just go to open mics, you know. See, I went to fucking because it was this, I just didn't trust women again. I just couldn't trust them. Every woman in my life had fucked me. Every woman in my life had done, like, I felt like in my mind, any, any of them, anybody I

have met had taken advantage of me and, you know, kind of manipulated me and that, that was the last one because I was out there living my life banging shit and then I found love and I trusted somebody again, again and here I am. Fuck. That's crazy. People suck. Oh shit. So I went on a tear.

I was like, fuck them all. And then that's why it took me so long with my wife because my wife was one of the good ones. My wife was a good person. Hold on, but. Sincerely, did you think these girls was not shit and you, we like challenges? No, dude, a lot of good girls probably came your way.

You're like, I don't want them. I want the champion. He wasn't in the right place. He didn't respect any of them. He wasn't in the right place. I was like, I'm not in the right place. I told you, my thing was, with a lot of these girls, I get them to suck my friends dick.

Right? So I would get sexual, like I'd fuck around, talk dirty. I like freaky shit. And I get them like, I would say, oh shit, I think she likes Mike. Like for me and you would date them, like she's fucking likes Mike. I know this bitch likes Mike. I'd be like, you think, and I'm like, she's fucking likes Mike. I know this bitch likes Mike.

I'm like, you think Mike's hot? No, you suck his dick. No, come on. If I wanted you to suck, why do you want me to suck? Is it, I'm just saying. Is it kinda hot? And you're like, I don't know.

I don't know. And then while we're fucking, I'm like, come on, tell me what I want to suck Mike. And then I get you to do it. And then in my head, I'm like, I knew it. You are not the one. You are not the one. I got you. So it and then in my head I'm like I knew it you're not the one you're not the one I got you so you're right to suck my dick

First of all I'm glad you a speech impediment because I want to throw in a fucking I'll fucking kill you Whatever you say No, my sync that's a defense mechanism. I can say I had a fair commitment and I'm thinking I'm saying for last to three girls She don't mean with some other dude. I'm thinking that's the story of my life That big day. I can't have sex with you. It's impossible. Did you have any sexual problems with them?

Man, look man big thing ain't shit. What is vagina stretched and let people out? Is it a Cuban prison? Jesus Christ that's a good way to look at it. Yeah, it's never John. Let's people out. Yeah But you you got fucked up too. I got fucked up major. But it's weird because it's usually a woman that will heal that. You understand?

A right woman. Yeah. My wife, my wife, said, you can go on being a piece of shit, but I gotta go or I'll help you not be a piece of shit And that was it that was it that's what I quote and quote. Yep. I had to make that decision that should be a t-shirt Well, it'd be a long t-shirt What's that say? It'll be annoying. Because you're like, what's that from? My wife said it's a thing. Oh, did she? And you asked, oh, fuck me. Fucking will stinks. That's a good quote, man.

That's a good love. That's fucking awesome. That's great. And you could keep on being a piece of shit and I'm out. Or I could help you not be a piece of shit. That's a night. That's shit. Yeah.

Well, it took a long time. It's still taking a long time. It's still taking a long time. It's still a piece of shit. That's night. That's shit Well, it's it but it took a long time. It still takes um, you know, did you get did you get that when she told you that? Did you get that by the way? I got it right away because I said I don't know Let me think about it. Wow because I wasn't gonna lie to her Because at that moment I can tell her exactly what she wants to hear. I will, I will, and go back and I fuck up again. And I, I, I was like, I need to go talk to somebody because maybe I am a piece of shit. What do you talk to? I talk to Patrice. I talk to, uh, Dane. I talk to, no, I talked to Colin Quinn. Wow.

And, um, Dan and, in Colin said, let her go. No, Dan and, uh, Dan and Patrice said, let her go. Patrice said, you're a piece of shit, Bobby. Just be a piece of shit and embrace your piece of shitness and just let her go find whatever fucking plum machine needs to be with. Colin said, you can try, and in six, eight months, be like, I'm a piece of shit, I'm sorry. Or you can not try and regret it for the rest of your life. Because he said, that's what I did. I didn't try and I regret it.

That's what happened to me. You didn't try. I didn't try and I regret it. That's what happened to me. You didn't try. I didn't try that and then Every great, but it is what it is. It's fucked up, right? Yeah, so I didn't so I look at my son And I look at my wife sleeping and I'm like fuck It's all it's all right as long as I try as you know what I mean? She at this point to the funniest podcast ever Yeah, it is I listen man, we are at an hour 48. I'm fucking exhausted. I'm sure the chat room is dead Like when we're fucking smashing each other

Yeah, you fags. What's a chat room saying this, you're gonna be fucked up. Axiom says, I wonder if Cecil the Lion had any ass play. Nope, nope, nope. Hadriq says, Scopo and Mike V should do a podcast and call it Tuesdays with Guitos. He's pretty funny. I like that. Axiom also says, bad ass ass Bobby doing karate and eating ass.

Blinding ape says Mike destroyed on the big J roast. I heard you did. Yeah. Should I just keep going? This is all like bombing horribly. Be confident. Are you the boss? I hear the boss.

Who's the boss? You're the boss. Did the boss tell you the boss? Who's the boss? You're the boss. Did the boss tell you to stop? No. So boss didn't say anything. I was just looking at it. I was fucking enjoying all of them. Were you? Yes. I was gonna have to do it. You gotta want to read them. Believe in you. I do want to read make them work. I like the way you read them. How many times do I tell you? I like when you go. Yeah. do you read these fucking forms dumb dumb no I don't What it's just a shit you don't fucking reads the forums all the I don't read the why can't it be d forms what do you read? The Anthony Kumia ones the opian and thing was have to do with you has nothing to do with me That's why he wants to be on no

400 me that's why he wants to be on no 400 those forms haha a bit he really would don't be he is waiting to get that fucking like the draft yeah i'm telling you every time i'll let him drop

he listen to the end of the day just to go what the fuck is wrong with this? He this is his dream the fucking videos fucked up again. What the fuck do I gotta do? Where's that do poo guy? I don't know if he'd say it like that I just like those forms cuz it's so tumultuous. They're all just shedding on each other like it's never yeah That's a good healthy thing to read. Yeah, and they're not talking talked about me so that's always nice to you but why do you like reading all right anyways listen all right we're gonna go we're gonna wrap it up I gotta go right now this this is coming out I will I'm on vacation right now when

this is out okay it's come out first or second I think this comes out second I think we wait on this one this one one's a doozy. Yeah. Lovely. Thank you. Yeah. You do have a thing about you. Thank you. Um, oh, shit. It is. It is. Cause your hair is blonde, by the way, right? Yes. Not really. Yeah. You're like Elvis. Mm-hmm. You want a sear picture? You got a picture? Um, I can look it up on face. No, I just saw a pew with that dress. You serious? No. My hair is aren't blonde. No, I just saw a pew with that dress. You serious? No, no, they're not, like, they tell about how she has a very Elvis thing about her. Um, alright, Baba.

Yes. Where you at? Tell me about your podcast first. Uh, I just started a podcast. Mike was actually on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, within the first five episodes, talking about how he loves to fuck sex workers. Was that what it was?

Yeah, he gave my sexual friends. Yeah. It's called the Hot Mess Comedy Hour. It's recorded in the Keith and the Girls Studio, if you guys are familiar with that podcast. And it's myself and another female comedian, which talk to fucked up comics about their fucked upness. And it's always a good time.

Yeah, that's great. It's on iTunes. And what else you got? You can find me on Twitter at Andrea Comedy. And that's about it. Andrea, you're a very honest person and you can take a fucking joke. Who's that? And you were great on the show today. Thanks for coming on.

Thank you for having me. You got it. Mike, what do you got? This is going to be coming out a little later. So I'll say this. Follow me at Yo Mike Brown on Twitter. Check out the Comedy Outliers podcast and speaking of that. I'll say this, uh, follow me at yo mic brown on Twitter, check out the comedy outliers podcast and speaking of that, depending on when this comes out, go to union hall on Saturday, August 22nd, APM. We're going to have a big show called pop americano live show multimedia. It's going to be

great. Um, yeah, just check that out, follow me on Twitter at yo mic brown. Yeah, this is real service. W I L S Y L V I N C E to other Instagram everything August 18 19 is going down School of Visual Arts. My film festival I've been doing for 10 years. 10 anniversary NBC short film festivals happening August 18 and 19. It's some of the July 17. So let me show everyone knows that. Okay, just come up to 17. August 18 and 19 and some of you are 17 so make sure everyone knows that okay just come up to 17 so 18 and 19 so be that tomorrow I'll also be having to be in Dubai

or September 4th I'll be in Dubai with who well so good when did you become fucking international don't worry about all that I am worried about it's fucking the fuck out of me if you happen to be just dick is there now Didn't you just go to the way make less of that's it yeah, yeah, they bring me back and also you up and I'm going to Abu Dhabi by the way Abu Dhabi What how do you get that one? I'm going as the I will from Dubai first of all hurry up. I can feel my heartbeat in my fucking hamstrings I've been sitting too long hurry up and that's it mic fecchion at twit at twit at comic mic they albam is also confusion available on itunes

okay what do you think you can call me at r2dp across the board and i got a show august 24th at hostile international so you can check that out thank you bobby disingenuous but you are i mean it i mean it every time follow me at christophe on twitter and i'll be a liberty weekend albeit uncle venez the whole weekend

that's great so come back come out of your journey shore i am and bobby's your dates to uh... solely c i am on vacation so make sure you guys watch the show. Have you guys seen the show? I haven't seen sex drugs rocker. Well, guys are not my friends. I see the art. It's DVR. I'm it's in here.

Here's a DVR in it. Fuck. Okay. I need you to watch. Listen. Here's the. Here's the. I've had fucking two comedian friends retweet shit for me. Can you, can you look, I'll be twin and can you send it to me? I'll be twin, my friend. And I found the account. I'm a motherfucker. Oh my god. He's one of the only people I'm telling you.

I'll be twin tonight. I'll be twin tonight. On the first day, motherfucker. I'll be twin when it comes on. My proud you ain't fucking around. You're a friend. Send me a text and I'll retweet it. I'll take it. I check it out. Thursday night sex, charge and rock and roll on FX.

Make sure you tune in. Hit the fucking button. Look, or the series. And watch it. You guys, the ratings go up every week. It's been fantastic, but keep it going. And then where am I going to be? Utah Salt Lake City 50 West Club August 20, 21st, 22nd. It's September 5th. You're going to be in Pompden, Plains, New Jersey, Comedy Shop, one night only. And then it's the 25th, December 24th to the 28th.

You're going to be at the Just For Laffes Festival in Toronto. And I just booked another tour with just for laughs after that are going to be doing uh... half the torrent canada work on canada i'm going to be in toronto for the to get out forty two and that i'm going to be doing the torrent canada which i'll be announcing soon uh... with i think i think it's fifteen shows in canada make sure canada so make sure

canada you've been begging telling me at one of your upcoming back so go to the shows tell them all please thank you for my famous i'm in that's about it where can i get a robbercat lilaire and a village on the ground t-shirt robbercat alive dot com working at the city the dvd

the dvd you can get five five bucks at Robica live.com Okay, and the album is on iTunes right now, and it just charted on billboard. Oh, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get all package for gift for somebody my first time I ever charted nice Nice T-shirt Big album. That's pretty big. You know everything's turning up I'm telling my favorite comedian. You got... Kids ass. That's it.

You got a lot of kids. Bob is funny. I ain't gonna take that away from you for the entire day. Thank you, buddy. I love you too. You're very funny. You got very funny over the last year or so. Ah!

You guys are the best fans of the world. In the chat room, thanks for sticking around for a double show today. You guys come in and you make it interesting. a double show today. You guys come in you make it interesting We love you guys you guys listening live awesome you guys are listening on Mondays Make sure you watch the YouTube if you watch it subscribe or review or at least subscribe make sure you so we'll let you know People what happens when they subscribe? Our subscriber count goes up. Oh God oh god no you get notifications as to when we're going live and it doesn't work that way the notification system

is like not that great i i i get notification every every every time at nine o'clock on the works oh really this is why you're a fucking just a come with you know that notification is when our who gives a fuck alright all right all right we want to subscribe yeah so if they think it's it's a subscribe yeah so if they think it's I mean if you subscribe if you subscribe you get a free unicorn that's a pretty good deal yeah we're fucking make some shit up one more time you get no to the show just fucking douche doug you gotta be kidding me dude the whole show's gone. All right fuck it goodbye. We lost it. I got it. I got it. I got it

I got it We got we got all we got back ups everywhere dude. I got three backups. We're good guys. That was a great show Yeah, yeah, just say the sign off and then I thank you for listening to what dude. I'll see you guys later Listening to the YKWD podcast Bye, dude! I'll see you guys later. Podcasts on the internet, and they're all free, and they're all free.