Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Who Who Who Are You?

Episode Date: May 25, 2015

Robert is joined by Joe List, Chris Cotton, Gavin McInnes, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yoros escuchar a Robert Kelly's? ¿Y qué? En la Raiatcast Network. Riotcast.com.

¿Todos hoy es la episodio de ¿Y qué? ¿Y qué? ¿Dónde se habrado por Casper? ¿En $50 por any más perjuit brought to you by Casper. Get $50 toward any mattress purchased by visiting Casper.com slash YKWD and using promo code YKWD. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. This podcast has no rules. What are the mic assholes?

I'm sure I've already said should I regret? Can I get a mic? No! What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious.

Sometimes it's 10 no topics. No directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That's not what a host does. You motherfucker. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life.

You never know. You have to go to Kilesu, you know what to podcast. You have to go to whitecast.com. That's the fuck! I don't know what's up. What's up? The tip of the tip of the thumb, thumb tip of the thumb. The tip of the thumb.

The tip of the thumb. The tip of the thumb. The tip of the thumb. The tip of the thumb. The tip of the thumb. The tip of the thumb. I don't know what's up. What's up? Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump,

bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump your car, your bicycle, your mom's badge. Hey. Oh, it's a bit aggressive. That's a bit aggressive.

Or maybe your sister's come. Oh, it's not not aggressive. Yeah. We're starting today's show. It is a lovely Wednesday. We're doing a day late because I was supposed to be out of town. But I'm back in town. We'll get into that while because I was supposed to be out of town, but I'm back in town. We'll get into that while I had to come back in the town. So anyways, I'm

very excited today because we have a great list of people. Hey, that was a pun. I didn't think it was meant to be a pun. I've Bobby still does not recognize how it's a pun and I'm talking. Bobby's face. There's a list right there. Yeah, to be a pun. Bobby still does not recognize how it's a pun, and I'm talking. Bobby's face. There's a list right there. Yeah, I know the pun. I wasn't meant to be a pun, and I'm not playing that in.

He came out of pun. Yeah, but hey, the only time you've ever spoken on this podcast is that. Hey, you know what I mean? Is that? I decided to see Joe, my roommate. Yes, great to see you, buddy. We never see each other.

No, we don't. I never see you, Bob. I don't know why I'm so small on this fucking shot. I don't like it We're gonna bloody. I wish let's go. I wish I had the same angle then Hey, Bob, what's your middle name up and down in the water good to be back folks? Where's Soda is he late? Soda is not coming today. He's getting famous. Yeah, he's getting famous. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Soda's got to do shit Yeah, Soda can never like once a month he can come now. Yeah, really soda can come once a month Look at my shoulders cut off. What the fuck man? What the fuck that's the combo shot. That's the shot of you and Joe Liss. I want less of... I don't want...

I want Scopo Show to cut off. I don't want my fucking show to cut off. Okay. It's my fucking show. You guys, what now? Go back a little. Right? Can't you fucking find a meat to go a little more?

Right there. Right there. Nice medium ground. Okay. Alright. Fuck. You're fucking... You and him have a fucking Scorsese shot.

I got fucking... He's good. Scorsese shot. I got fucking He's good Scorsese. I got black. You look Black and Scorsese movies very rarely works out for the the black person never Never know. Well, no didn't you have a good one? No, no casino. There isn't one Taxi driver he gets shot and then beaten with a bar. Yeah, good fellas. He No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I treated him nice the whole time he was alive. Yeah. And then he got killed though. I mean, who doesn't get killed? No, he doesn't get killed. At the end of the game, he gets killed.

He gets killed, he gets shot in the elevator. Oh, that's right. He did that, he did that. That's right. But he treated him nice, isn't he? Yeah. He treated him nice with any kills. He's a better actor than I thought he was going to be too, isn't he?

His greatest arms are fucking oddly hairy. I got a lot of hair. On your forearms. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's weird. You have like an Italian guy forearm. Yeah, black people usually on Harry are they? I don't know where you got information

I'm like people here. Oh my god. Wow look look like okay, that would maybe Dude first of all I just like saying wow I know I know I know Where are you? Dude first of all I just like saying wow Races and it fucking everything is so sensitive now that people bite on that That you saying wow they go oh my god what the look? I'm okay. No, I said you're not hearing you call them a monkey. Oh wow I thought by people aren't here. Yeah, I see a hairy like Niggas be tripping that's what came out Come on I got a career coming up soon.

Wow! All this is gonna have to stop. I'm gonna have a career in a couple of months and it's all gonna have to stop. Well, it's funny because you're right about that. What you know, me, Keith, Voss, Norton, we always used to do that. Like if Norton was on stage or I was on stage,

doing a whatever, something mildly racy. Not even that dirty, they'd sit in the back of the room ago Oh And they'd keep doing it and so all of a sudden the crowd Who was fine with everything turns into this sensitive? And the whole crowd would just be going all on every fucked up joke Oh, yeah, and we really are cattle. We really are Fuck yeah, of course, but I don't know what

I got black guys that are hairy. Oh my god. Wow. I've never seen that before. Wow. We have a phone call. Who is it? It's probably the PC police. I know. Should I answer it? Yeah, who is it? I don't know. Let's fucking see. Hey, there he is. Hey, how's it going? Who is this? Who is this? It's Justin and Streams of Dreams. Streams of Dreams. Hey Justin, I'm on my radio show right now. You're on my radio show, so I'll call you back in a second, okay? Yep, no problem. Thanks buddy. That's another gamble and it didn't work. A gamble and I didn't work. It was a guy from the fly shop. I just had my fly, all three of my fly runs re-strung. Are you a big fisher?

I'm a, put first ball, I thought it wasn't a good spot. Yeah, I'm a big, I'm a big angler, they call. Not a fisher. Angler? Yeah, a fisher is something on your asshole. Okay, I'm a big fisher, this is Christ. What is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it,

what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is, what is it, what is, what is it, what is, what is, what is it, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is who studies the environment and insects and nature and is out there going toe-to-toe with a fucking fish. Is it a day or a fucking fish? I'm not, no. Fish have toes? Huh? Fish have toes?

No, well, they used to. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no heard that? Oh, oh, Jesus. Just this one. I said the opposite. I dropped out. You dropped out. Yeah, I don't know. You're back. You're in my cans. All hell is broken loose here. Do you know what I'm doing? Turn his headphones down.

Oh, dear. What's up, dude? How you doing? Sorry, I'm late. It's all right. Don't worry about it. I'm Scottish. What does that mean? Scottish people like to put themselves in dangerous situations because they were with England for hundreds of years So the people who don't like confrontation are extinct. Yeah, and the only ones that survived have developed a predilection for trouble

Right, so I purposely gave myself not enough time so I'd be panicked the whole way here, right and I fucked up That's good man. Look up predile to the world Back to me. Yeah, I understand. I get it. It's a pretty serious penegrination. It's like 25 minutes. I don't like the words. I didn't meet them, but I don't like the words.

I think the n-word was in the middle of that word. Thank you. You just called me a n-word. I'm not very n-girdly with my vocabulary. I tend not to pull back words. I'll play. Can we stop though? Because I tend not to pull back words. Oh boy. Well, can we stop though? Cause I just want to let you guys know

that our friend is on a network show this year. So he's very nervous. I'm very nervous. Very nervous that we're gonna have if I could take him down. Did you win? I can't talk about it. Wow.

That means no. Because his eyebrows didn't go up and he literally just immediately answered the question. If he won, he'd go, I can't talk about that. Great eyebrows though, wouldn't you say? I feel like I got a good eyebrow. You do, you do for a cartoon. Oh, that's insensitive.

Yeah, I keep their eyes up by the eyebrows, not by the chin. I got the best eyebrows in here, I'll tell you that. No, you'd I have the fucking best eyebrows. Are you kidding? Are you nuts? They're an inch long. My dick is longer than those things. First of all, his eyebrows look like they have cancer.

You can't see his eyebrows at whatsoever because you're blonde. You get blonde. Reverse on you. And these fucking things. Yeah, so that's down to you and me. And those same things are invading my tree out front. You got little tiny eyebrows.

They're not even longer than you. Right. First of all, my eyebrows are perfect, Joe. Perfect that I've never trimmed front. You got little tiny eyebrows. They're not even longer than your eyes. First of all, my eyebrows are perfect, Joe. Perfect that I've never trimmed them. I've never cut them. And I've had many women say, do you trim your eyebrows? Did I fucking say no? They are a little stubby, though, Bobby.

I don't think you could afford to be another a few centimeters on the edge. I agree. First of all, I agree. Fuck all he is. They're like little, the little Hitler mustache is dancing up and down above your eyes. They're like, yes, they're clout on my eyebrows. I would love to get a Hitler speech and just, I would just dancing up and down above your eyes. They're like, yes, they're clout. I would love to get a Hitler speech

I would just go up and down fun to be able to have that Fiat apple Frio da Frio da Well, I was convincing I made me want to kill Jews I'm probably gonna leave you to be me. Look, I'll never show it. I know I had a line too, but I got to cut them all up now I got to be a different guy. You got to be you. I know I had a line too, but I got to cut them all out now. I got a different guy.

You got to be you. I got to be a corporate Joe. No, no corporate Joe. Oh, put Joe. Anyways, yeah, we, oh shit. I just, I haven't even introduced a, we're governor here. I introduce, I introduce my show. You know I run, you know how know how introduced you forget everyone's names

That's how you do you want to see more to me and say scope. I'll introduce them I we do this are we going and out scope. We introduces then we fall out and then we introduce you And then we fall and then we just and then we fall back That's the way we fucking do it every week, okay? And every we anytime you're on the show with me You're gonna go dirt a fucking dirt a dirt trying to take over. I'm not trying to take over. I've given you the rounds and you failed before. I did okay, one guy didn't like it and f**k that guy. The show was 48 of the rounds.

Is that like the rings? I said the rings, the helms? Yeah, the rounds. I call them the rounds. They're okay. So like a Game of Thrones thing, I never know where it was. This is a round microphone. You give it to me.

And I have two of them. So I give him the rounds. Okay. I got you another Sorry, oh another I feel like way I feel like Wayne Brady. I'm so quick on my feet. It's Tom Brady shut up and Wayne Brady. Oh, I'm at the improv black guy. Oh, I was balding But then gets his hair back somehow. How's that how? I'm a big prop. He's gotten over there. No, no, no, not that one. Oh, oh, oh.

Every time I forget it, I'm never gonna say that. No, no, no, no. I just, your last name. Do you get shit for your last name? People who are intelligent stop. No, but it's a weird last name for a black guy. Think it's a regular last name at this point? Er, not cotton. It was what I was raised with, I don't know. I know, but it's a weird last name for a guy. I think it's a regular last name at this point. Er, not cotton.

It was what I was raised with, I don't know. I know, but it's a weird, what is it? Where is the origins of cotton? That's where you got it by yourself. I never did the research, I'm pretty sure. You didn't do the research on the name? I've done the research on my name. I'm seeing it as a plantation owner.

That happened. Well, it did, but I don't think we were. I think to be honest, I'm like, I think I have like Haitian origins Haitian some something we we have island shit in our Akiteo I got island shit in me yeah yeah I don't know what you do you definitely do how can you tell because I've actually got my hair braided by somebody that was just like a woman I don't know back right here I got my hair raided once. Oh, you should.

Yeah. That's gay. Yeah, I was young. I was seven. My mom made me do it. Seven. Wow. You were gay seven year old.

Have you seen his ass? Yeah, I was just looked at it coming up the stairs. He has a beautiful ass. It's big. It's big. It's the middle-aged woman's ass. You look like my mom's friends. I prefer black woman.

Okay. We thought what's with all the race? Can we clean it up please? Yeah, okay here we go. I love you John Deershirt by the way That's fun for the podcast listeners Video dumb I know but it's the ratio to listening to watching is probably not the same I don't want everybody to get everything. I want you to do a little work. All right. Okay. Nice pants, you're weirdo. Wow.

Does that go no? You can be wearing weird pants. I got it. You got it. I get it. That was a problem. It was so easy to get. Got you.

Here's the deal. Me and I took Scopo and Stavaros. What's it like? Hot kiosk. I love by the way. Yeah, great good. We went to Boston this weekend to Laf Boston, the new comedy club out there, brand new,

Boston has a comedy club again. Yeah. Which, you know, when we were coming up, and before me, there was always many comedy clubs in Beentown, and then it went down to one, and then now there was none except there was the Wilbur but that's a theater slash you know whatever it's a theater and now they finally have a comedy club back in Boston and it's beautiful it's fucking beautiful I

heard a bunch of shit about the sound they worked it's all that doesn't even exist the sound is great the stage is great the club is great, the people who work, they're fucking great. I brought this fucking Jackass who did great all weekend and Stavros to Boston and it was a fucking blast. So I want to give a great big shout out to Laf Boston, you guys, and all the people that showed up, a lot of podcast fans came. Sold out of T-shirts and posters. Sold out everything and then we had almost two sold out shows t-shirts and posters sold out everything and then and then we had almost two sold out shows on Saturday very close on the set was sold

yeah sold Friday was packed up and Thursday was actually packed so I want to thank the club some guy almost died I'm fucking do it finally I care well you get the plugs up I'll be there October 29th 30th and 31st. Yeah well I won't be there. So yeah we're doing the show Thursday night. I mean it's fucking I'm having a blast. There's a guy in the front row he's having a great time and I'm kind of fucking with him a little bit. All of a sudden I look and I'm doing a joke and I'm writing this setup and his head he just goes and his head goes back and I thought was, I thought he was just joking.

You thought you were so funny, he was coming. I thought he was just giving me a fucking board, boo. I thought I was like, I swear to God, that's how insecure I am. I thought he was going, I'm done with you, right? Yeah. And I actually was about to say something. I was getting mad, like, as I'm trying to stay in the joke,

but this guy's, you dire. This guy getting mad, like, because I'm trying to stay in the joke, but this guy's a few dyer. This guy's ahead, is literally just tilted back, and I was about to go fucking dude, go fucking yourself. You thought I was funny five minutes ago, and the lady behind him was holding his head, and then the guy just passed out, like, knock a lepsy or some type of diabetic or whatever. Oh, he was out, his head fucking sn... I've never seen

anything like it. It was... If I wasn't so insecure it would have been scary. But you know, I thought he was just fucking with me. They had a fucking shutdown the show fucking take this guy out. I had eight minutes left. Well, wasn't. Do you know what it was? They didn't tell us. And his girl was like, she kept saying he does this. Yeah, he does this. Oh, good. That's good though. And she didn't know what the fuck to do. I'm like, he doesn't do it then. Wow.

If it's diabetes, you got to get sugar in his mouth. You the fuck. I keep it a coke. He was on pills. I don't know, man. No, he wasn't on pills. He was just a nerdy dude. I think he loved.

Nurt's due pills. Yeah. Up that pill. If he was black, he would be on drugs and I bet you'd add. Yes. And he would be robbing the place. First of all, he would be on drugs, a bitch in a head, huh? Yes, hopefully. He would be robbing the place. First of all, he would be at my show. I have one black guy on show.

We hit the one black guy on it. It was a Friday show. Huge podcast fan. He came up to me after the show. Huge black guy. I was like, I didn't think we had any listeners. No, we got a lot of black guys. He's kidding?

Yeah, he took them outside. It was fucking crazy. It was fucking nuts So you don't know if he's alive. No, I do. I have a photo with him. I went out after and I came back a lot He was lying on the couch in the lobby of the hotel Just like it's like dude. Maybe go to the hospital. I got a little hospital if my fucking knee hurts You know what I mean? But how how cruel are you that you meet this guy who almost died? You don't ask him what happened. I did and he made made a pay for it. I did and they just kept saying

He probably has no insurance that's still I didn't make him know but when you don't say we were no When you met him again. Yes, why didn't you say what the fuck happened? Well, you're assuming that I didn't You're just when you told me you didn't know what happened No, I because they I did ask them that and they still didn't she didn't know what the fuck happened She goes I don't know, I don't know. It just happened. He doesn't know? No, no.

They just kept saying, I don't know, it just happens. Does he drive a car? He's gonna die. I don't know. They're insane. It's fucking crazy that they, first of all, didn't go to the hospital. Second of all, the club didn't call.

I didn't know why nobody called an ambulance just to get him the fuck out of there into a hospital. And she kept saying this just happens I think he faints like she goes if he sees needles He faints if he gets too excited he faints and he just goes into his life not be not gonna Were you doing a big bit on needles and eye surgery? I actually said I said Your mother's vagina. Oh really passed out

Maybe it was molested. Oh, I just put my mother's vagina in my head. I'm me too It's not that old Harry. It's not that Harry my mother's vagina is in my phone Couple shot my phone is in your mother's vagina Texturtexter your mother's vagina. Oh, Robert, Hi, great, texture, texture. Robert. It was great. It was one time I was at the DC improv. I love his love stories that start with one time. Oh, yeah, one time. Every again. One time I was at the DC improv. And it was a great show. It was one dude that's from who kept fucking laughing. He was like huge

laughing. Yeah, he was great. He wasn't annoying. He was great. Yeah, great. Sure, but there's only one dude laughing. Uh, one, it was, I mean, he was the biggest, like he was definitely like, he was great. Great shoe, but there was only one dude laughing? No, I mean, he was the biggest. He was definitely like a, he stood out. He was the guy. He was the dude, he was the core, right? And towards the middle of the last guy who was on stage, he was like a showcase style show.

All of a sudden, people started running in the bathroom. This dude tried to commit suicide, I don't know where. He was a later, blood, I didn't go in there if I would have passed the fuck out so we he basically was like the court of show he was after that he was a gill you a great and all of a sudden he just tried to commit suicide in the middle of the fucking show holy shit right what the bit was it wasn't me I was killing he loved me he didn't like whoever the fuck with all these like he was killing too but he made it out loud but he's fucking

trying to go for the vein, you know, the veins. Up, how do you do it? Straight across or up and down? I don't know, I didn't ask anybody to tell. Like, I'm not good with it. Yeah, if it's across, he's just crying for me. Yeah, I'm really getting sick of this, the suicide. I think it's very hacky.

Yeah, I really would love somebody to upgrade the suicide if you're going to do it. You know, maybe jump into a great white shark's mouth. Right, right. How would he be cool? How do you agree with that? Be like hey man. I love you. Tank at sea world Hey, you friend of note and this fucking chum the waters unless the shark comes up dive straight into his fucking mouth You know there's been people who like Louis Zamppinary the guy who they did that unbroken movie with an angeline jolly movie

He's fought sharks in World War II and kicked their ass. What? Sharks of pussy? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. It's why I love meeting guys like you with just way too many fucking too much shit in your head. Who the fuck knows that?

He's playing crashed. He was on Etsy for 45 days. He had a deal with the sharks. I'll stay here, you stay there. And then one of them jumped on the boat and he was just like, fuck this. So when the Japanese were shooting at him, he jumped off the dinghy and they would come at him and then one of them jumped on the boat and he was just like fuck this so when the Japanese were shooting at him he jumped off the dinghy and they would come at him and he just go and punch them in the nose and then swim back onto

the boat and and then because they had fuck with him he would start getting the young ones and killing them and eating them so my point is if you're gonna die charge seven bucks get in the tank have a not a great knife a little knife Yeah, and just fucking fight sharks to death raise a bunch of money for charity. Yeah great knife shark Yeah, it was literally like that. It's a great book like jumping off a bridge That's kind of fucking I am sick of that. Do you ever hear about the washing what is a hacky? I think jumping off a bridge is some kid is gonna see your bloated gross frog belly body three days later That's fucked up. Did you ever hear about this? I heard maybe an old wives tale

But I heard if you jump off the GW you're it's not deep. It's a wives a wise I think it's wise. Okay, like a like a husband I think it's wives. Okay, like a husband. Okay, wives, like wives. No, I think wives, the wives, they stay in hotel and tails. Oh, what is it? It's WIVES, no repositories. It's all of the wife, every single wife, wives

collectively have this dumb myth. Right. The wives are a whole silly story. So anyway, it might be a, it might be a wife. It might be a wives tale, but I mean, but I love that he dumped it down for us. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, he goes a bunch of dumb wives, it's funny how a myth is synonymous with women.

But a wise, W-I-S-E. Oh, wait a minute, keep the baby. You can't buy past it. Hang on a second, wait a second, I need you to finish your thing and I need to get back. Why do you say that? It's not me, the colloquialism is old wives. They're known to the populace as stupid.

No, no. No one says, did you hear this old wives genome that's gonna cure cancer? They say, do you hear this old wives tale about rubbing mayonnaise on a burn? Well, this might be a wives tale. Okay, guys, if you jump off was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you,

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I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was telling you, I was Grass, yeah, it sounds like a old nerds tale that might be a it could be the wives telling this but they don't talk about the husbands Might have said it that is fucking a shit way to die. It's at least to live to the bottom of the GW and just see like some pleasure boat going over I pray I pray that I never get divorced and my wife doesn't remarry because I thought of both of them at the bottom of the East River just floating there with those cinder block shoes at the bottom of the East River, just floating there with those Cinderblocks shoes. It just breaks my heart. If you got divorced, you wife remarried. You'd be mad?

Oh no, no, I would just go get this man, go to the Home Depot, or there'd be no emotions. But what if she, all right, here's this scenario. She leaves you, she doesn't want anything, right? She just doesn't want to be with you anymore. And the new guy you like, he's a good guy. That's not conceivable. Not conceivable. No. All right. Who's your best friend?

Well wouldn't be his best friend. I who's a hero? Who's a hero? grown men don't have best friends, but I'm a big I like Anthony Kumia a lot. I'm a big fan of his all right So it's it's a Kum Kumia or Kumia. Are you gonna put him fucking my wife in my head like you did my mom's vagina? Yeah, your wife is 19 Good ones go. Thank you. No, that would be an old wife to him That's gross. She has pubes I don't know menstrual blood all over the dick. I don't know the database that't know the data bitch that drives. If you have your license, yeah, I need to be able to get you into the club talking

of full sentences. You want me to stop and get her a toy on the way home. Yeah, he wants Antony. Me, love you. No, he's never great, but he likes a girl that would digs his penis out She goes what? My cock is so big that all chicks feel like babies. You don't have a big cock. It's unfortunately large There's no way you have a big dick. What are you talking about? I'm the biggest asshole in New York City

You have a huge cock. What what sizes you dick? I so big I don't measure it. That's for like medium and down guys. Really? Do you have a big dick? I have a medium guy. But you have a medium black dick. I have a medium black dick. Yeah which is like a giant brown arrow pointing down.

It's like, it's fucking huge. It's like 7.5 to 8. That's not medium. That's not medium big. That's not medium big. That's not medium big. That's not medium big Seven and a half is not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big.

That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big.

That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big.

That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. That's not media big. I'm a fucking sixer How long the average I rely? What's that? It's not gonna work now. You know it not like you're a failure. I did not in here. I know what you're doing I'm not falling for it. Listen here's the y'all I think I'm pretty sure the average penis honestly God is four and a half inches Let's Google it average half. It's not five and a half. That's a myth That's a wise thing. I heard five and a half. That's five and a half that's a myth that's a wise five and a half that's five and a half guys at home you don't want a dick like mine you should be happy with your little knobs I'm always hitting the cervix my wife's always getting UTIs it's not pleasant he's not lying that almost never get anal it's I've never done it I can't do it I can't

I literally can't I don't have the patience to it's a lot of work I've never been an asshole why cuz I can't I literally can't well you dicks too wide too big what Why you can't do it? I've seen a bunch of points of the bunch of black guys massive dicks They're professional ass fuck you did a professional assholes ass fuck you I've trained my asshole over the last six years. Well plus all these porn stars their head They worked out with their dad before they even got in the industry. They've been doing it their entire life Five like back rivers. They're like back rivers. Yeah Like Wayne Wayne Grisky's playing hockey means two porn stars are the exactly the same So he's ain't is that like puts that they have like soccer moms, but they're fucking asshole dads I'm sorry to laugh at child molestation

Every porn star got fucked by your dad Bobby 5.16 inches 5.1. That's pretty big. That's not pretty big That's not big this five inches. I don't know. I don't measure Five inches, but is it a we're measuring a wrecked? Yes, yes, it's not hanging It's a Tennis is 3.6 that is the present dick right there. Let me see, let me look at me. Look at me.

That's the present dick. That's not depressing to five, isn't it? Some people like that. I'd kill to have a cock that's more than you. Oh, you can't have it. Five is this. Stop it with your double hair. If you don't five, it's a thing.

I don't know. This is five. The only time you need a huge cock. The only time you need a huge cock. If your girlfriend's Puerto Rican and divorced and she's got four kids and she's 40, she wants to be pounded with a big cock. The rest of them, they don't want to get slammed.

Oh, I've seen black chicks do. I mean, black chicks on every day expect a certain amount of dick. I thought that to be honest, because I grow with a, I got a two older brothers, my middle brother, me, him, shared a room. His dick is huge. You got shit right? Right. He got dick for everybody in here. Yeah. I got a two-order brothers my middle brother me him shared a room his dick is huge

I was small because Look at it while you're sleeping I became the dough and I realized I'm alright. Yeah, took me until I became the donut I realized I'm alright Yeah, took me a while to realize I still think I'm small But with the girls it's all it's all clitoris clitoris play anyways Always say that yeah, I read it. There's a big study Jay Joe Joe what's your name again Joe Joe but on the show for four years It's bullshit women like like to get fucked, James. Women like to get fucked. Of course they like to get fucked, but the orgasms are clitoral.

They're just a huge study. They don't give a fuck about having an orgasm. They just want to get pounded. They don't even get eaten out when they get older. Oh, that's not true. Oh, well, they get older, man. Young girls want their pussy eaten. That's like wives.

Or just like just pound me fucking. That's the same thing with a, don't pound me too long. It's the same thing with a guy's asshole. I don't, you know, the older you you get you don't want to get eaten out Cuz you just put that perl poor girl down there that fucking awful fucking used to be a hot fucking beach town Now it's one restaurant that's kind of shitty. Yeah No more carnival. That's all shut down. There's the rides got fucked up in a hurricane I got detail this is funny how you can put your finger right up a girl's ass, twist around.

Even sometimes you get that ET finger in there that's poking you back, that little turd. You take out your finger, roses, bubble gum. I'll throw up if you tell that dumb story again. First of all, I've never stuck my finger in a girl's bum and fell. What? A fucking nugget. You've never felt the ET? No, I felt the shit touching my finger. I would fucking throw up on her. Oh dude. I've never had the elf shoe

What the fuck is an elf shoe? That's when you put it in her ass We're doing a lot of cocaine. She's got a full rectum You pull it out and it makes a ice cream scoop and it looks like the elf shoe Shit it's chocolate Yeah, I will And it's hard it's hard to get off. The only reason why I'm really sick is hang on a second, the other reason I'm gonna

throw it up is because you said ice cream. This is bad ice cream. It's the yellow snow of ice cream. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then instantly you've got a ceiling fan wreaks up the whole room, you gotta go wash your dick off. And then she feels bad because she wreaked up the whole house. That happened to me. So you eat up your ass.

With a long time ago when you married you always have to do that. Yeah, just way before I even knew my fucking wife. I hooked up with a massage lady. Massage. Massage. Massage. Who actually, just regular masseuse, didn't, you know, wasn't, and she wound up fucking around, um, giving me like, uh, a hand job and a blow job,

and then I just fucking lost my mind and jumped off instead of fucking her in the ass. Wow! And it was, and she let me, and it might, all of a sudden I just smelled shit. And no, I was just like, what, I was like, ugh, you know me with fucking shit. I just had it, I stopped, I had to run the shower and just scrub my dick off.

It's foul throughout right now thinking about it. It was fucking gross. It's not that bad. It's disgusting. It's not even really poo. It's made a bubble gum. It was oily, brown bubble gum. Fucking oily. Look like I stuck my dick in like the side of a clay mountain. Dude, I got a force gun. I've woken up with shit in it before the next morning. It's just been sitting there under my head all night long. You're like fucking you're dirty man. You have fucking dirty. No one asked to remind me though. Mindy Kaling had a show where that remind you of something she was fucking. Boyfriend was fucking her in the pussy and then he put it in her butthole and it was an episode of the Mindy Kaling show and the whole tone of it was on NBC. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

And then she was like walking backwards out of the room because he's a but man. And it was a comedy bit. And I feel like that happened to me in my single days. I'd be in the pussy and I put it in the butt and she didn't want it in the butt that time and she'd be going, ah! And afterwards, the tone wasn't like you raped me.

It was, why you? It's like you ate my fries. But the mattress girl, her whole thing was you fuck me in the, pussy which was fine. Then you put in my ass and I said no. And that's why she's carrying a mattress around class. Now she was lying. They fit the police found a later student who was texting him

saying fuck me in the ass and I miss you and let's fuck. And he was like, no thanks, you're psycho. But I don't know what to show you. I have no idea what you're talking about. You listen to me. I'm not really, first of all, I think you used to talking to yourself in your own head because none of us are following you right now. I was just not that you met with us.

I thought it was a black show. You might do this on a fucking co-mage show. On my show, you have to slow the fuck down and fucking you. You can't trip. You need a segue. You can't go from ass fucking big dicks to some fucking. I had an Adderall and a Coca-Cola to get here on time and I'd think of overdid it.

Okay, there's a phenomenon. Let's call it Bungie. Bungie. And when you're putting it in the pussy and then you put it in the butt. Yeah. Yeah. It's called UTA.

It's happened to me before. I've had times when I was fucking girls and I was like, I'm not in control. Like I've said that out loud. Right. So I've bungied in the past. And usually the tone post-bongie from the girl, I can think of two of them both Asian actually.

The tone is like, why you? It's like you ate their fries, they're annoyed. Because you know why? Because I think to put something in, to fucking the pussy is this great gift that they give us. Okay, here, enter my vage and then to, it's like almost like here, have some food and then you fucking just steal a piece of cake. That wasn't you. It's frowned upon. It's frowned upon. In the Mindy Caling episode, that's another show. That's another gift that I'm gonna give you someday. And you stole it. Yeah, you stole it. Right. Yeah yeah so the Mindy Kaling episode deals with Bungie yeah wait upward but we're just made up for my and Bungie and

that was a comedy episode on a mainstream network normal network right now mattress girl is a political activist feminist at NYU she's graduating today okay and she was on the front page of New York mag and she claims she was Bied, and she calls that rape, and to protest that rape, she's been carrying her mattress everywhere she goes. See, I don't watch the news, that's where you lost me. Well, you see, the twin mattress are a full.

It's a single. A single, okay. And I think it's inflatable, it doesn't look very heavy. Okay, so it's not really a mattress. It's not the mattress. I don't feel like that, is that rape if you go from the, if you go from the push to the ass, so you just station it, you just not the mattress. I don't feel like that was okay. Is that a rape if you go from the if you go from the

Puss to the air so so you just station you just rape the ass you didn't rape her you just rape that right well That's what I'm saying and it's to some people it's a comedy episode on NBC to other people it's Violent rape that went on account of now on top of all this she's been It's been proven that she's a liar and she was courting him after the rate including text like fuck me in the ass she's she actually said in a text fuck me in the ass post rate but what was there a smiley face after it and it was a frown well it is a mojicon it's not

the way that is a winky face i don't buy it well it's funny because women love that's dangerous sex, and I especially New York girls, especially Jewish New York girls, they're fucking savages. I would get texts like, thank you for raping me last night. So we're constantly going up to the edge where they like it and saying, would this stand up in court? Well, I had a girl one time, a long time ago, again.

Very long. Oh, hello. Black-white girl, which is a black-white girl. Very long. How long? Black girl. Black white girl, which is a black white girl. A black white girl? A black white girl, an ounce plane, which is my least favorite black girl. Yeah, the black, the black girl. They have no, no black girl. Hi, how are you?

Oh, I hate those words too. Scariest fucking girl on the planet earth. Hi, how are you? Are you? Stacy Dash, kind of, you're so funny. Well, Stacy Dash is, I think she's a black chick who's trying to act white to be in, but she's black, I think she's. A black white girl dating her,

have her back at the house, making out in the bathroom, fucking around, and she starts. She looks like the city's look like that. She starts, a little droopy. Nice, that's a nice thing. Starts fucking, really wants me to choker. She's like, oh, choked me. So I start to choker, and I'm finger-popping her,

and chokin' her. She's not crazy, but then she starts to cry. And I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, oh my god, did I take it? She goes, I just don't know. And I like you. I was like, look, we don't have to do shit. I was like, I think you're cool.

I thought we were doing something. And we started, all of a sudden, she started building it back up again into this dirty. And all of a sudden, she starts grabs me and starts making out with me and just takes my hand and puts it around her neck again So then I start doing it and I'm like, okay, maybe and I start doing it and we start getting she starts crying again She likes to cry and I fucking I walked away I just said, okay, I'm out. I'm gone because this is going somewhere where I'm gonna be fucked Yeah, you're gonna end up in court

I'm gonna end up somewhere. I'm not fucking doing it. I'm not getting my DNA into your DNA into my fingernails from fucking show, or whatever the fuck you're trying to do. I said, I gotta stop. We went back into the room, we watched TV, real quiet. I let it die of the fuck down, and then I took her, I, and a cab, all the way to the fuck home,

cost me all my money, all my spot money, and I had to take it a fucking book of some weird place, go all the way to fuck home cost me all my money, all my spot money and I had to take it and broke some weird place, go all the way to the fuck back just so that I was with somebody else in a cab with this girl. So that we would giggling, laughing, stuff like that. So somebody saw me on record and she was fine. Witnesses.

Yeah, because I don't want you going from my house, how can you go from my house to a cab giggling and you know what I mean? Yeah, wow, you just made me think of something like, if you look at jail about a third of them are domestics, and if you've ever gone to the tombs here in Manhattan, you talk to everyone in there. You're af, because you're Scottish.

Yes, you need to. I'm sitting there folding the peanut butter sandwich, putting it under my tailbone so I can have a pillow to sleep. Oh, you can have the guy eat your asshole out, obviously. No, they're not really into gays in the tombs. That's true, right? It picks up in a while and they get into it. That's such a myth.

I had that in Juve Hall too when I was, did you get fucked? It's like, no, you're in there for six months. If you're a second dick in Juve Hall, you're gay. If you can't wait months, you don't even remember. After 10 years, I'm gonna be like, how bad can it be? How'd you get in? Yeah.

Jay, I picked up a reddit. I'll suck your dick for a cigarette, dude. I'm getting out in a week. Fuck you, I'm good. But anyway, everyone in there is all, they all beat up the girlfriend, it seems like. And every time I fucked a black chick, her whole thing with dirty talk was,

be jealous. Say you're pissed at me. Tell me I'm your property. Say, and I have to even pretend that she was cheating on me. I'd be like, I don't want you fucking talking to anyone else. You fucking bitch. You're my property and slap, slap. What?

So, you make that face? Yeah. That's it? Black dude, that's funny. A black dude named Squeak once told me this you got to have a good come face Yeah, so when you're coming go like this and then they tell their friends and it goes around I tried it and it's my right trade This is mine. Oh, that's a good one And then I look and then I hold my eyes It's very God. Yeah, when you're young and single you cultivate one like yeah, you want your eyes open when you're young You want to fight because it's a mirror around and then when you're married you're just like

This is when you marry you have like your phone listen to the baby monitor like I can only come from doggy style no one's ever seen my come face you can't come from I've seen my come face. You can, you can come from in the front. She's kicking on top. I'm talking with the network. Then I'm talking with the joke. Alright. That's a bitch.

I got a girlfriend that somebody throws a fucking zinger at. I thought it was good. Thanks buddy. I'm sorry for my real question. I'll take that bend on. I like the fucking dog you style too. You know what doggy style is? You smell the asshole first.

It's a poor man's Viagra. You go down there, you smell or ask, and you're so disgusted with how much you love it you're like I'm a fucking pig I don't like that you assume everybody like shit you're wrong you don't like that weird pooh I'm just really like the asshole no he doesn't like the asshole he likes everything about the asshole yeah you like in the asshole the stuff of the asshole I wrote a book on eating pussy. I fucking love pussies too. But here's the thing with pussy though.

It takes a minute to desensitize yourself to the pussy, but once you desensitize yourself to the vagina, you can fucking do whatever you want down there. The smells, the liquids, whatever the fuck. I need shape size. You can go down there and do what you got to do but but when you Well, I found it when I had a kid and I didn't have sex for eight months I got fuck I had a I had when I went back to the Vag I was like oh shit

I have to get decent to this again. Wow. It was like oh fuck. I was scared of the pussy again like I was like I get it I can't I saw what a vagina really does Right. Like, there's, that's another layer. Not only have you abstained for eight months, but you've also seen it do something crazy. Well, not crazy, actually what it's supposed to do. Crazy.

What am I talking about? You're not supposed to eat it. You're not supposed to leave it. A human being just came out of your fucking vagina. That is disgusting. That thing's for me fucking in Dildos. But yeah, that's exactly how to grow. I was talking about it, my act about chising in a vagina and the girl went gross. I went no that's what

The girl got in your eye Not in your mouth. I'm your friend's Ever since I've ever had to tell you never put it like is your black? That's even when I Can't I literally is not that I don't want everything inside me I love coming I was joking you don't ever I've never I've never pulled out you wear rubber You when I used to use rubbs. I'd never used to pull out. I never pull it out I'm at this can it's like in my mind. I'm like why would I pull out? I never met one of you guys Way better. I've always wondered about you because I've never pulled out. How do you know pull out Jesus? Why are these women getting pregnant? How do you not pull out and I said I

You have a stand up routine about I was like, what are you a horse like did you also just pull your pants when you I have no kids, but I've never pulled out I'm pretty sure okay, all right, that's be good But I just can't say are you on the pill because I can't pull out I make sure there's a lot of You don't care about disease you don't care about getting a girl pregnant Where condoms religiously, but now you don't now you just do this out of a box and whatever happens happened Don't pull out much your wife Not pulling out also creates problems with the pus because the push can't handle that much come because I fuck a lot

So you can't put that much coming there. It starts ruining fucking pH balances Yeah You're missing a whole visual palette there of I love all of that shit. I love coming on all that but I just can't make myself say I'm about to come I'm gonna say some right now you guys might disagree with I don't like coming on a face Huh, it's only good if she's into it. Well, you know what? I'm a Christian and God bless you For being a gay man who married a woman. That is wonderful.

You overcame your hate, homosexuality. I do like coming. I manage to be with a woman. That's great. I like coming, this is gonna sound weird. I don't like coming on the face. It doesn't mean I'm. I'm weird about being gay.

I like when they come and it kind of shoots, when they turn sideways and it kind of shoots across their lips. Oh yeah, that's awesome. Over them, you know what I mean? Or like it on their chest. You like the theatrics? Yeah, that's nice. I don't like it.

I don't like it in the eye. I don't want to see them like in pain after I come. I don't want to see like, you know, some fucking red eye at her trying. I don't want to see the reality of like she was faking. Yeah, but that's in that's at like There's two use there's the monster fucking like you like that you fucking whore of your your my property Bo-la and then when you're gizzing on her face like take that fucking calm you fucking slut

Oh, and then the second the last thing comes out you're like who did this to my baby I would never use my I love my You get your t-shirt and you're like, oh, it's I would never use my t-shirt to express it. You can get a list of Mania t-shirt at the, you know what, dude? Fuck off. These are excellent for screaming. It's rake, hashtag, whatever it is. Yeah, you can come all over the shirt.

No, the three bucks. I can. Well, please. Speaking of t-shirts right here behind me, you can get the Robert Kelly. You can gizzle over this thing. I'm the best part of my mind show you can see what the jizz is. But that's what's going about the List of Mania because CUM turns yellow. You can come on it and then wear it. There it is right there. The List of Mania T-shirt at rat cast. That shirt right there

is covered in CUM. For the first collars, they will get to jizz on these shirts with Robert in them. Actually, I'm gonna gizz on your shirt and send it to you. Now, it gizz, my gizz is fucking, I sometimes have a fucking massive load, but a lot of times lately, I think it's cause I'm older or whatever, it's a couple fucking, it's a couple drops. Well, you're beating off twice a day.

No, I'm not, really. I would say you know it is. I have to jerk off in the shower and my wife, you know, when we redid the hole inside, instead of putting bathroom doors on, she put these beautiful barn doors that slide on the bathrooms. It looks great aesthetically, but when you jerk it off, it stinks because there's no lock on it so the kid can just oh I don't want my fucking nightmare is her not watching him one day him strolling into the fucking shower and daddy hunched over with a shower massage doing a thing that they didn't know exists yeah I got three kids and every time looking at Ava divine taking it in the ass I just think a

please don't let this happen and put you know, monkeys in a typewriter make the complete works of Shakespeare, the odds are eventually, they're gonna walk in and I'm gonna have to go, dad's disgusting. And he likes milves. Buddy has great hair. And I'm, first I can, I'm gonna go back as a whole.

I'm gonna go, what's that? Fucking massive mule. Why is this, why do you, fuck it, both hands on one, the bottom? Mine, they won't even see me doing it. Just go, why are you rubbing your clip that? You're in the shower. You must have been just like mommy can't see it.

You're gonna have to. I really do. My dick is fucking so, because I'm heavy now too. It's so small. I have this knot in my back, because I'm heavy now too. It's so small. I have this knot in my back, and I think it's from jerking off. Because it's like, I have to... Did I hang it? I can't jerk off the way I used to jerk off because I'm so big.

And my dick isn't big enough, so I have to kind of like, contort my, like, stretch out this side, and kind of put a leg up and do this weird maneuver to jerk off. It's, my dick has gotten smaller. I will admit this. My dick, since I got bigger, my dick has got smaller. Yeah, and you only have one mate.

She doesn't give a shit, so you're good. Yeah, but it's, I'm getting a little fucking, you know, I'm getting a little nervous lately because my wife, she, fucking, you know, I'm getting a little nervous lately because my wife She she thank God no stretch marks her titties of fucking great because we got the fake titties before she got pregnant So everything she didn't fucking get any of that bullshit from having babies none of it no stretch marks No, she went right back to her weight She's looking the way she's looked and even better for some reason now. And I'm a fucking mess.

Like she met me. I had fucking curly mullet and abs. I used to wear caught up shirts like Lewis Gomez. Now she looks at me out there with sweatpants that I really don't tie. I gotta fucking get zippers on my sneakers. Yeah, it's great right now though. You got a little button up, open up,

and some jeans on, and we ate so bad this weekend. This weekend, let me tell you something, this weekend, I feel bad. Me and Stavros, he's a fatty like me. Yeah, you guys look similar actually. We went to the North End, went to this insane cigar lounge. I loved it.

Dark as dark, okay? You couldn't even see that. Why'd you look at Chris. I mean, dark as dark, okay? You couldn't even see that. Why'd you look at Chris? Yeah, I don't remember. I mean, I don't know. I was trying to think of a dark joke. I was thinking of dark jokes, so I couldn't think of anything good.

I couldn't think of anything good. I was trying to get through it. So I said it was like second your car. So fun. So we went to the cigar place, watched the game. How great was that cigar bar? Players' dope, yeah. I mean, it was like going back to the fucking 20s.

I don't believe you guys really like cigars. There was no blackout there. It's an affection. No, you like the vibe of being the cigar guy. But if you were alone in the woods, you go, this is gross. First of all, I hate people who just tell you how you are. Don't fuck yourself. Tell them more about yourself, Gavin.

I like that. It's like, no, does that. No, you're this way. It's like Ohio shoes. They like the way it looks and they like this thing. But if they're alone in the woods, they're not going to wear Ohio shoes. First of all, I've been alone in the woods

and smoked a cigar and I loved it. I've done this. I've also smoked a cigar in the woods alone. Unfortunately, I love cigars. I really do like it. And I like a certain style of cigar. I like the whole process of scar making. I believe that. I have three. You like all your cigars would have hit it tip? I like a certain style of cigar. I like the whole process of scar making. I believe that I have You like all your cigars with a hood it tip. I have a

300 cigar humidor in my house and actually Which I shouldn't do which I'm trying to slow down. I pretty much every day I'll go out there by myself with my phone or a newspaper and I'll sit in the back and fucking smoke a stoke And it's one of the most relaxing things because I have nothing left. I'm not supposed to eat, I'm not supposed to fuck, I can't drink, I don't smoke, you know, I'm an addict and I've been sober for all of you.

I cigars will actually help me get through a fucked up time because I have this... A vice. A vice, you know, you know, you know, a vice, but I have this a vice a vice you know you know you know vices but I have this vice that I can go to that isn't fucking killing me right away and I fucking love it to I love sitting with a cigar well maybe you're the only one then because 99 percent of the guys they like cigars because they go out on the balcony

after dinner and they like that the woman don't want to come and it's just a way to bond but when it's in your mouth you're like oh like what this fucking I love it I love it I remember my grandfather who used to sit there with a cigar all day the same one until it was a little nub and he would just sit there and fucking with his hat I don't know was something so old Italian guy now he was Irish but he was he was just that old guy that doesn't yeah those those are the man's with no Dubs. They don't exist anymore. They're going you gonna look what do you I'll get you there. Oh, he was fucking the ATF

But I never shit access. It's a very smart guy, but I Just love that I don't I love it. I love cigars. I fucking love it. I have a remember the cigar lounge cigar Up in five minutes down the street. It's street. There's something so manly about it, and I go to the lounge, it's almost two alpha male from even, because these guys are just fucking men, and they're drinking bourbon, and they're smoking cigars. Are you drinking a romp on the rock? I have a die coke.

Oh yeah, I have a die coke. It's fucking me. I don't know why a die coke is so good with a cigar. It really is just a mess silly bitch. I really do I love you. Okay. Okay. You convinced me. You like cigars. It's like Bill Clinton here. You're ramming it up my fucking I just I just whoa There it is fucking shows over wow stayed on the nice the lid stayed on good That's a man right here. What is this? What is this?

Tranny cream. What is that what's Tr trainee cream? That's the eyelash adhesive. Yeah. It's what? The gnome came in there. Can we throw that out? I don't need fucking training for the rest of my life. It's what you, when you make it work, it goes dry really fast. First of all, I want to say that the girl Sue that was on the show, the accent was fake.

Of course it was fake. I knew it, but I didn't know it, and I gave her the fucking benefit of it out. Yeah. Oh, you should have called it. She did, you want me to suck dick blah one? Two Dicks three I Now I want to hear a regular voice. Yeah, but she had dumb story

She said it she didn't get it from her parents, but she got it from people in neighborhood You don't get an accent that way. I'm so fucking gullible. I'm fucking That is how you get it. You don't get accents from your parents You get it from the people that you grow up with like friends and people or you know, no, you get parents No, that's not true. You can't inherit my girlfriend's father is South African or mother's English She's fixed perfect English. You get it from the kids around you that you grow up with. It's not your parents I'm gonna agree with you. I'm gonna agree with you because you have all these. Okay,ment. Okay, but you're not stupid. You're just incorrect. But she had a thick, thick act. No, no, no, no, no, he's stupid. But I'm not saying that. I agree with Roberts that

you're stupid. I'm saying that. But no, yeah, you don't, you don't get it from your parents. That's why they have all these people that are second generation. You go meet their parents and they're like, oh, what the fuck? And they're like, yeah, this is my mother. She's crazy. Yeah, like Madonna goes to fucking England for a year. Yeah, she's a dude. Oh, that was annoying. I mean, that's fucking... My parents speak no one can understand them. They're scotters. I'm like, hey, see you, baby.

I'm going to fucking bother you. So, oh, well, and they, I go, do you that? My dad's gonna beat me up and they go, he didn't say that. He's just making Chinese sounds. I love the Scottish accent. I fucking love it. It's one of the best. It's, it's, it's to hear on guys like in a pub, and see that fucking English. Oh, I'm out there every bloody single one of them.

But when you have a woman and you're fucking, it's like, hey, ski is a shag without my fucking corp. Oh, my dick harder than that. Dude, that fucking, if I close my eyes right now. It's like East New York, you don't want, not East New York, it's like the East Village or something. You don't want a New York accent on a chick, you're fucking. What's that?

Oh, I fucking love, that fucking cock is amazing. You're not mean, but it is. I'd love to fucking Jeff. Oh, no. Oh, no. Dude, you fucking dick man. I love you dick man. I'm gonna write a song about it man.

That is making me a little warning. Southern is sexy. My cousin dated a girl from Alabama And he said one time he was fucking her and she said I'm fixing to come Her ever heard my life. Yeah, that's accents. I mean, all right cut. Sexiest accent to fuck to French retarded Joe has left to build That was Bob Kelly. I said it. I left it a long time. That was my joke You'll take it Southern all right, so we have French had sex with French I lived a bunch of long time and girls

There are so sexual that though that they don't see anal sex as a thing. They just see it as a thing So they'll say you can put it in the back right and or they'll speak French like how do I call to my female I love it when you hurt me how do they say ow in French they that actually is different it's I I'm getting horny huh all right what do you say Joe Southern? I say Southern I guess but I never had to do that but it's hot. Okay. So what what do you say Scropa? Australian? I fuck one of those. Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah, I like you. I'll I'll your cookies go with you. We say bad is English

Accents in general. This is going gonna sound weird, but I like any Hood bitch from wherever That's what like like you could be a hood bitch from Boston. You could be a hood bitch from Detroit. It's all the same EZ As a bitch. Yes, I'm gonna ratchet No, I don't want a good Black no, it's not black like a poor chicken London. It could be a poor bitch from London I like poor accents like they'll those fucking I want to ask you

You're gonna fucking come on me. What's that shit? I fucking love I love that shit black ghetto project bitches I could get into I like that I grew up with that. Yeah, but I want to like a project Can you give me can you give me an example give me an example you I want you to give me an example. I'm gonna give you the bitch that you're talking about. Like okay, let's I know why I call they're a bitch. I'm gonna call the bitch of the whole time. I know but I don't want to call I don't call women bitches.

I don't know why I just assimilated. You don't remember with it. I was hanging out with the friends. You hanging out with the friends. No, it's not that I'm a fucking weak spine chameleon and I will assimilate to whatever I have to do just start to survive trust me many Foshtomes and D.Y.S. is I'll fucking call him chicken bitch in a second to survive. So what's up with these Holes like like show me this fucking bitches talk like okay, let's say you take a Bronx bitch your arm is fucking

Disturbing the Harry. It's all I'm saying. It's nice. All right, you take like a Bronx a bit, just something like. Yeah. Like you got that kind of Puerto Rican-ish. Sure. You can't fucking do it. You're a fucking, you're a goddamn fucking professional. Oh, professional. Yeah, you're doing it.

Like, like, okay, like, Rosa Perez, I love her fucking double foot. Okay, do it. Like that, that, uh, come on. What are you doing? I'm not like, I'm sexual, you say, right? Do it, do it. Don't get brothers.

I'm gonna close your eyes. Close your eyes like I'm sexual you say I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like. Papi papi like I like that papi. Yeah, so fuck do you think like anything like that I can just disrespect full slash ignorance and I'm gonna check I was at Radio Shack right up the street Oh, this is gonna be good. I love Radio Shack. I'm talking to you. I do all of a sudden this Puerto Rican This fucking Puerto Rican Do I'd Puerto Rican? Well, it comes. I mean, smoke and heart, little tiny thing, attitude, alpha woman, walks in, and she's like, may I help you? Right, she says you, you only want to me.

But it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's arguable. All right. You know what, true. True that I had my jacket on my shoulder. She could have, ha ha ha. Not two uses, grammatically correct, if it was, well, so she says, she says, My jacket on my shoulder she

She said she says but she called me lover She she was like you want anything else love? Oh, and I was like oh shit, and she was a Christian She said something about you know cuz I'm a Christian, you know, and I love you know, that's what we talk to Janice This girl my I would have fucking if this girl was like listen I like you a lot and I like to be with you. I'd call my wife Good Harlem night and take that to your real with you I know these dudes Trevor and Mark Ryan are their names and in the early 2000s late 90s. I like to get protected They go hey They're white guys. They go hey. Hey, we we hey black guys don't go hey. Hey, I just thought of something

But why black guys know it's sing senses Has anyone fucked any Puerto Ricans and they thought no? Let's fucking try it so they would go up to Puerto Rican girls on the train and be like hey What's up? My name's Mark Ryan how you doing and the Puerto Rican girls on the train and be like, hey, what's up? My name's Mark Ryan. How you doing? And the Puerto Rican girls would go, what? I've never talked to one of you guys before. You're crossing the fourth wall barrier and they just started fucking tons of Puerto Rican's and it was awesome And their stories are crazy and one of them I can never get out of my head. He says I'm fucking this bitch and I like how you always have to fuck them. I know you actually have to do it. Yeah, like you can't fucking perform any day He's performing too much.

He's like a one-man show. You want to wear a black turtleneck next to him? You're on the fucking show. He wants a coilest mic. I don't know, heads up. So I'm fucking this bitch. Gone, gone. Is that drop by me, Bricks?

Fucking thunder clouds. Rain. What are you doing? Rain. Go to your room. That was always mad. Shoot. Shoot. The cab's a? Rear. Rear. Go to your room. That was always a shoot. Shoot. The cab's flying by.

Shoot, shoot. Aw, aw, aw. Maybe alone. Charlie. Happy, happy. Come on to the window, happy. Get your papers. Get your papers.

Ha, ha, ha. That's what I was going to tell my bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad I just made me hate that Puerto Rican from the East Village. He's not Puerto Rican, the actor guy. John that was a little bit of a devil. Yeah, that's made me hate him. He's not Puerto Rican. I know.

No, he's not. You just did a come to Papa Show on Series XM. But one man shows that fucking guy had. I don't give a shit about your fucking boring life. Anyway, so he's fucking this check and it feels kind of weird. So he takes out his cock, which has a condom on it and starts fishing around and he finds a condom inside inside Not his someone lucky. How lucky is he though? She's that one she's chewing gum and she has pig tails and and he goes I just found a condom in your vagina

Yeah, that's how white guys talk. Yeah, goes, I know, bugged out, right? Because she fucking Lewis is going with this. Yes. If I found a condom in my hedge veg, I would go tada. Look, all right, listen, we're going to take a break. We're going to do this fucking ads. We're going to do plugs when we come back real quick, cuz I want to do that and start doing that in the middle Take a piss break because I know Joe has to pay cuz he has the bladder of a fucking 90-year-old woman with diabetes

We'll be back you guys live in the chat room live here now stay there around eight minutes We'll be back you guys listening live It'll be just a fucking two seconds so there you go yo yo yo check it out baseball is here at last and the excitement continues all season long at DraftKings.com the official daily fantasy partner of major league baseball daily fantasy means no season long commitments. Why wait till the end of the season to claim victory when you can win huge cash every single day. Just pick two pictures, eight position players,

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You know me, I'm a tech guy, I love tech, okay? I love it. And I love when somebody invents something. I love when somebody goes out and makes something better. I love when somebody says this isn't good enough. And they use technology to make it better for the masses. For me, the average dude, the person out there that needs it, and they also make it cheap. Okay?

This is, you know, I'm talking about Casper. Casper mattresses, right? These guys are unbelievable. Okay. Casper is this aunt, they This is why I love them, okay? I went but a mattress recently. I just got a new mattress $2,000 over $2,000. Okay for this friggin mattress. It's crazy crazy How much I spent on this and I had to go to the store, and I had to lie on this mattress, lie on that mattress.

This mattress was the one I really wanted, was this much money, the one, and then the one she wanted. And we don't need it, and had to go through all that shit with my wife, and what do you think? And she'd of course, you know, she'd never been a pinion, and I had to drag it out of her. And then we finally found this one, we picked it, and it was that much, we had to have it shipped,

and oh, what a friggin pain in the butt okay these guys at Casper they just they made the perfect mattress it's the Goldilocks of mattresses it has the perfect bounce okay the perfect sink you're lying it it goes around your body but it's it's nice and firm. It's not it's not too light It's not too hard. It's just right two technologies. They put together late-text foam and memory foam and It's it's amazing, okay, and this is the best part This is crazy you can get it for free try it for a hundred days. They're gonna let you try the mattress for a hundred days with free delivery. They're not gonna charge you. It's free. And then if you don't like it, return it.

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right now, okay you I'm a New York City, you can go check it out. But here's a deal, right now, okay? You can get fifth, we're giving them the offer right here, right? $50 towards any mattress you purchase at www.casper.com, is it YKWD, correct? YKWD, using the code, what's the code? YKWD. Talking to the microphone. YKWD, sorry. YKWD. So you go to

www.casper.com right now slash YKWD. Use the code YKWD and they're going to give you $50 off and you can say $50 in a mattress. That's great because that's going to take a king down to 900 bucks free and you can try it out for free. Okay, so do me a favor, go right now, check out Casper, just look at it, look at the site, I've been there, it's amazing, look at the mattress, this sleek, it's two technologies, put together to make the best mattress out there for the cheapest price. And if you don't believe me, try it for 100 days. If you don't like it, send it back. Casper.com slash YKWD, promo code YKWD, get your money,

get your mattress, have a great night's sleep. There's nothing better than Casper mattresses. Okay, we're gonna do this. All right, see this t-shirt behind me? This exact t-shirt right here. Oh, we'll get you your size, but this is, that's an XL, right? Or a large, whatever that is. We'll give him this t-shirt away, okay?

Why don't you read this? Hang on one second, then. I'm going to turn your mic on, sweetie balls. Go ahead. Yeah, we are doing a YKWD prize giveaway, the T-shirt giveaway, all you have to do is enter a comment on the official release of this episode. Right.

The one that comes out Sunday night and also be a subscriber to the channel, which of course is free. Right. And we will get in contact with you and send you this lovely T-shirt. Robert Kelly live at the Villa-Jundigrown, limited edition we had made over at Merch Table,

which is a great company, and it's the go to radcast.com. We do have some t-shirts up there available. We're gonna sign this one. And if there's somebody besides me that you want to get it signed like a Dan or Joe or a Chris or maybe somebody a Chris Scopo or a D-Poo, maybe just D-Poo, maybe you want just Chris sign it, let us know, I'll hum sign it. It's going to be a limited edition one of a kind t-shirt and we're gonna give it away for free. How do they do it? Just leave a

comment on the official release of the episode and also be a subscriber. You have to be a subscriber to the YouTube page and you leave a comment on the episode and in the next couple weeks going to pick somebody and we're gonna send that t-shirt out to you so make sure you leave your actual Twitter names so we can get in touch with them or I'll just message them through YouTube. We got it so there you go we're going back to the show right the fuck now You are you are listening to the YKWD podcast YKWD podcast

YKWD podcast I come Oh, buddy, Sean Crystal is watching and he tweeted this out and working drawing up if you want to check it out. Oh, what's he drawing? He didn't say. Okay, yeah. Sean Crystal from DC. He's a comic book artist fan of the show and a friend of the show and we're a big fan of him too.

What's that? You can hear me. I'm sorry. I got to keep talking. Can you hear me? Yeah, talking to it. Can you hear me? I'm talking into it. I'm talking oh there it is

There is there a joke or a thought or no, I Hear myself isn't it nuts. I think I'm racist on microphones. I was sure the black way I'm way down Is it a free? Black guys don't think microphones work for some reason I'm kidding. I'm kidding We didn't get to first one. to get to the chat room real quick. What do you got in the chat, Deepu? The Deepu chat.

Ron Torres says, Bobby saying, enter my veg is my new ringtone. Yes. Colin Quinn, as a winner, says, I'm five inches and half hard. Fuck, yes. I love five inches. Good for you. I want to get a fucking nice army of five-inchers out there. Go around and fucking bang.

Bang and sixes. Yeah, bang. So, Dave and I, you like this delinquent? I don't want to say it. I'm not talking about the chat room yet. I'm sorry. What are you on the fucking length?

I'm thinking about his dick. I'm thinking about his dick since he mentioned it. I wouldn't know what that was. I wouldn't know that long. I want to see length. I want to see it. What else we got in the chat room Andrew Jackson says Gavin scares me The guy that killed all those Indians and wounded me. He's the scary guy. You're a scary guy. Oh good

You can be scary. That's funny because I'm a pussy You know, you know, I've been in maybe ten fights in my life But today with the beta males I'm like fucking an MMA warrior. Yeah, you're like when I hang out in South Brooklyn with the Union dudes. Yeah, they're all like hey, hey Tommy, I'm glad you brought that gay dude around. He's a cool guy I'm not gay. I'm tough Okay, yeah, they picked me up and it's Russell my hair You some tough gay guys though. You have to run to the bow dagger

and get a new gel for your hair. Is that it? What else we got? Anything else? Go to the Bobby Chat real quick. Do you have one you want to read out of your chat? I do actually. Go ahead.

Mookie Phillips says, I like Gavin, but I can't get over the fact that he probably knows a lot. Oh, sorry. I don't like that. I did. I did by accident. That was actually in Steve's hole. You racist man.

Well, the fuck? No, the podcast guy, I'm'm trying to turn it down now. Go ahead. Mookie Phillips says I like Gavin but I can't get over the fact that he probably knows a lot about mustache oils. That's what a waste of time. I liked it. I was him. That was him.

Now go to my chat. This is his chat. Well that was Mookie Wilson said that. Yeah. Mookie the Mookie Wilson. Oh okay. Mookie. What's my chat say uh Bobby chat uh mega tech guy says 400 pound guy that smokes good idea you know it's weird I actually talked to dr. Steve about this uh two weeks ago and he said you're fine

he goes are you inhaling I I go, no. Oh, he goes, you're fine. He goes, just don't inhale. I never inhale a cigar, but he goes, if you're not inhaling, you're fine. If that's the only thing you're doing, you're fine. But I didn't. I mean, who inhales a cigar? I mean, you can. That's not good. Right? I mean, you're only having like what, one a day? What happened? I'm having, I'm trying not to have one a day, but we were away. I was fucking. If I find a good hard, I went hard. I had one a day when we were away. It's not cigarettes. It's not smoking cigarettes. I smoke one a day maybe, um, maybe three or four a week. Um, and, uh, yeah, and they're really good.

I mean, they're very expensive. So guys, I'm smoking anywhere from an eight to $15 a guy. It's not like I'm smoking filly blunts Or any main to the people to filly blood People don't have kids don't get this when you have kids You're all of a sudden you're precious cargo and you don't want to die not because you don't want to die But because you don't want to them not to have a dad so yeah when there was bar fights when I was single and I saw a fight I'd run up with my phone and go, I gotta get this.

Now if there's a bar fight, I fucking run out the back and, you know, getting a cab and check to see if I got any glass on me. You're right about that, you know, I have all my fears now. My daytime, daydream fears and night fears, my dreams were of big tidal waves of being overwhelmed. Literally, I'm atop of a fucking skyrise. And then all of a sudden the wave, not just one, like five waves, the size of the buildings

are coming in, but they're not going to hit me, they're going to, like, I'm just above them, but I don't know, I've used to have those. Now my fears are fucking dying, just dying in my kid being alone. And it's literally him having to survive without a fucking dad. I have that all the time. So you used to be scared about a legal immigration,

and now you're scared about orphans. Yes, that's right. I'm scared of, I'm scared, I'm scared to fucking die. I'm scared to leave this fucking kid, you know, because it's like, you know, I'll take care of Mucky. But I don't, don't move in with me in jail. But once they move out and go to college, fine, I can die now.

Yeah. I only see a Christmas anyway. Ha ha ha. Kill me. It's weird how your family, I used to close with your family, Joey. Yeah. And you are too, of to close with your family Joey. Yeah You are of course you just left them yeah, and yours

Move out for fucksakes What do you mean trying get like 10 roommates get laid get some cocaine get some pussy? What the fuck some out of you? Y'all people I I moved out when I was 16 I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about getting up 28. I think they can afford to leave. Yeah, now you can a fool of me I have roommates I have a house with 15 guys I slept in by the boiler room on a cot and I fucking got so late. I got gonorrhea, chlamydia Everything sounds good. That sounds fun It's a notch He's given a speech from the 70s

It's a not I love the isn't he's given a speech from the 70s Can we guy get back to the 70s? So you just give a speech like you just came back from nom to the Millenniums You can get like if you have a bag of copies in HPV. I'm no toe-to-toe with STDs I know it's like stick around good you knocked yours out of the pill I got right now as we speak Don't call you That pussy. I'll come out of the warts right now. That makes me proud of you. Oh, I'm like a little animal. A little animal.

Young people without STDs are wasting their fucking youth. I agree. Yeah, well, I got warts. Hello? Don't think just, They put two of us down. I love that doubt, I'm sorry, I never heard of that. No, but you have warts for like a damper.

A damper, no, ever. No, they blast them with liquid nitrogen. I've had my warts taken away, but it's almost like herpes. Yeah, they can come back They can't come back but if you keep fucking the one girl, which is what you're supposed to be doing They go away eventually. Oh, I'm not supposed to fuck out the chicks. No For this school you should be fucking everybody. I know for musicals. You just get AIDS Yeah fucking eat ass I got herpes too. It's the first few up, it's fucking suck.

And then you don't get it anymore. Your body figures it out. They're so scared of getting beat up, getting diseases. And, first of all, hang on, what second? You fucking savage. Listen, stop back like herpes is fun. Okay, holy sucks, you get three out breaks, and then it's gone.

I know a lot, but I was drinking and didn't take any medicine. But I never took any of them. I'll tell you what sucks about having herpes Is the fact that you have it and you if you do want to take care of it You have to take some sort of medicine for the rest of your fucking No, no, I've never taken a fucking deal. The only problem with STD's Where herpes are fun. The only symptom I don't like with STD's is angry screaming girls on the phone What about AIDS? No one gets fucking AIDS. Fags don't even get AIDS anymore. Oh my God.

No list will be on. No. That's cool, Richard. What do they do with all these benefits? All the money they give the 17 guys a million dollars each. Drive around and Lamborghini. You said, wait a minute, you're saying there's only 17 gay guys with AIDS?

Yeah. That's a little... Tistically that might be wrong, get it? That is a little hyperbolic, but I 17 gay guys with AIDS. Yeah. That's a typically that might be wrong. That is, that is a little hyperbolic, but I know facts with AIDS. And, look at it, I'm not naming the podcast facts with AIDS. Before you even ask, I don't even care. One of my buddies got AIDS. It's wrong.

He had a circuit party for three, he fucked for three days non-stop on meth. He gave me meth for my wedding. But, you know, I didn't give you AIDS. Well, he got it from being on meth and then he gave me meth for my wedding book to I didn't give you AIDS Well, he got it from being on math and then he gave me math for my wedding gift I don't want this he gave me math lace would I love to see you with a patchy beard and fucking thin cheekbones No, he looks great. You get it your cocktail of pills. You're fine. Yeah, you're not gonna get AIDS kids the only thing that might kill you It is heroin. I love you think the kids listening to my show show it's middle-aged fat guys and their wives Oh really no millennial and she's going I right now that she's turning back. I hope you get AIDS

Okay, but I'm be honest. I don't agree with anything you just Kids I'm gonna try it out there don't use condoms pull out do all drugs, but heroin get crushed your mole Ped learn how to fix it. Can I just fight drop out out of college I wish I wish it was white out for a podcast why are you what are you taking intersectionality and gender studies and mass calm english literature hey hey hey hey hey hey dumb it down alright again you're not on vice trying to dumb it down I'm saying get out of college this isn't as bigST grant and debt to learn shit

that isn't even true. First of all, you're arguing with nobody. Nobody listening to the show goes to college. I don't know what I'm gonna get out of college. He's not going to. He thinks he's on Red Eye right now. College, no heads. What?

Nobody's listening to you. The most pushback you guys will be saying, I don't agree with you. Yeah, if you have a college kid on a moonhead, listening to this show is ludicrous. You just made the black guy sleepy. Okay, sorry. I just I saw a young man who doesn't live on his children's parents and I thought there was more.

God damn it, your rants should be on a subway. I'm like a stink. His rants just start off with. His show time. It's like a stink. It's a rancher start off with. It's show time. He just uses big words, fags and pussies and cunts and bitches, oh my.

Shut the fuck up, dude. You always lose some steam when you say fags and aids don't exist. I'm like, oh, I can't do this. Everybody, we're all in show business. He got some fucking huge check from Vice. He's done. We're still trying to make it well

We all agree that AIDS is not the death sentence used to be it is not It is not the death sentence and it's actually curing cancers Which is amazing that they're actually like that that's it was a there's a huge show on our 60 minutes They actually use the HIV virus took out the fucking bad part of it and cure certain forms of leukemia And there's a young girl, Littles, dying her parents went to the doctor and said this is the last thing and he said I can I can't promise with cure or cancer. I can't promise she will not get AIDS From this and actually great doctor Well, no, that's the one someone says we're gonna use AIDS to cure cancer, you're like, where's my?

You know it's like they have cancer and AIDS and it's a race and it's like you have a kid with cancer and you bring it to the doctor And he goes I'll work on her she won't get AIDS What is that reason for the parents though if you had a kid with cancer and then you gave her AIDS too? That was you feel like didn't great now. I'm hungry and I'm throwing up More to get more benefits that way. Well Curator cancer leukemia fucking gone in a month I'm a great survivor rate with leukemia though. Well, no this this is actually true in the using the common cold Measles for other forms of cancer, so they're actually figuring out figuring out how to

Oh, they let the human body do what it's supposed to do. I think you're in everything. What happens with cancer is that it tricks the white blood cells and it's not there. So they don't go and attack it. They don't know that it's there. So the age actually says, Hey, there's something over here. It goes and attacks the cancer. Then the white blood cells goes,

what the fuck is going? And then they go and they kill, literally, have a battle. And the person could die in that couple weeks that it's fighting it out. but if you make it through, the fucking cancer's gone. Oh, I get it. It's sort of like feminism.

It tricks the white guys into extinguishing themselves. Yeah. That was the worst segue I've ever heard about. I fully agree with you. This guy's looking just fucking jimmied, a fucking another platform into my fucking- Oh, you know what I mean? You're really out, You're worse than them.

You're You're fucking me my live. You know what I mean? Not those. Oh, those are those I'm talking them the feminists The feminists of them you're that you're those Those people That's funny dude. Yeah, well, you know, it's funny. What well you know it's funny uh... what about louis cc's and one of the talk about this his uh... his set on s&l with the actual racism monologue monologue

uh... on uh... have you see it yeah i love that i i tweeted that it was disgusting offensive and fucking hilarious and the last part is all the matters with jokes it was a fucking crazy that he did a child male disgusting, offensive, and fucking hilarious, and the last part is all the matters with jokes. It was in fucking crazy that he did a child male... No, it's not a child male, it's a joke. It's a joke about pedophiles, and it's literally...

Fuck, I thought it was one of the funniest things ever. It was hilarious. Yeah, it's what comedy's supposed to do. It's supposed to bring up a logical point that makes sense and freaks you out and people at the point Now we're being offended means it wasn't funny. That's not true I'm offended. I was offended by that joke and I left my head off. I have a child I have a child and I was like what the fuck? I go what are you saying? I'm like, please pull out of this I have a child please pull the nose up a lot of the child

Yeah, I've been on Louis more times than ever this year. Don't end your career now. The fact that I felt like it was my luck. It was literally my my karma and my life affecting poor Louis. He was just throwing it all the way. He addressed it though in the bit. He's like, what do you, how do you guys think I feel? It's my last time on the show. Yeah, it was fun. That was hilarious. Yeah, but there wasn't a lot of backlash for that That gave me hope well because he's the he's likable in the the the people that attack people are the ones that like Louis You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's not like if if I did that joke I'd be fucking done You know or like pick somebody else famous

I actually said I said that everybody looked around like I don't get that Are he shuffier? Someone famous I said. No I just think of ugly comedians. I like him but he's ugly. He's not ugly. Yes he is. He's he's he's he's unconventionally good looking. Oh okay. I think he's like from a spree getting the new words for ugly. He's a he's a spaghetti western good looking. You don't even get a western good one. Remember those motherfuckers? I just did that reference. Thank you very much. But that doesn't He's a he's a spaghetti Western good looking You don't even get a Western Those That's the reference. Thank you very much, but that doesn't with Clint Eastwood is one of those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah He's I should feel it's not like Clint Eastwood I would I said gorgeous. He look like the guy in the bar everybody else everybody else in the movie

I'm sorry. I didn't have to bring if you didn't get it. Just don't get it What do we have a class how to break down jokes? I don't get my name is Joe Liz and I'll show her the week is Bob because I never get his jokes. I got spaghetti western good-looking is Clint Eastwood. Well you don't go for the start. No you even mean to do like anybody in spaghetti restaurant. All right I can we move on. Dude you talk like a racist. Let's give it a go. What are you talking about? You have a racist act? I have a lot of hair. No, racist talk like this. I go, I just believe that there is a co-relations with race and IQ. No, that's actually Joe's the way he talks. I know, it's a racist accent. It's like a middle part is a racist hair.

He is from Boston. I say. And from Boston. And from Boston. Joe just shut down. Black ghetto. Joe's becoming a war zone. Joe, Joe, my mic is turned out. I'm sorry. Isn't crazy? I mean

You are gay. How is it? Oh, that sounds better. Okay, there you go I'm just turned it up too much. I think it was fucking great And you know what makes me sick about him. It's like yet another left turn. He's taken in Comedy and just said I'm gonna go this way when I should look at this is the thing I'm just doing monologue. Let me just fucking do some jokes. He said fucking I wanna do this. He's the tough long dawn. God damn it, right?

He always wins and he's not great at PR. Like when he did his show online, he made a fucking ton, he knew it was gonna make a ton, but he made it look like I'm saying no to all this money so I can bring it to the people. And he packaged it like that. Everyone fell for it and he made a fortune and became a hero you know you

don't think but I you don't think he took a risk in that no I think why is that I disagree but good I he has such a massive following that he knew he could monetize he did not he didn't have a massive following before Louis he did no he did not yes he did he didn't have a massive following he was charging forty bucks a ticket dude he was not yes, he did he didn't have a massive following do he was a charge him 40 bucks a ticket Dude he was doing that dude. He was he was broke after lucky Louis had no money had no show no money. He went from Poodie Tang, okay Poodie fucking tag, okay. He was a writer writer writer you saw him at the clubs honestly got here

You'd see him every once in a while and he come in and do the same fucking 15 minutes wasn't like I mean people love Louis thought he was funny, but it wasn't like oh my god The show in the video. It's a fucking massive theater sold out totally expensive tickets. What one? What do you want video the one he put online the one when he was the first guy to go online? Yeah, but that was after the show the show came first I think you're talking about lucky Lou and you're talking about the special. That's what's happening right now I'm talking about when he put his special online, right, but you're talking about lucky Louie. I'm talking about Louie I'm sorry, like the TV show. So you're saying okay, good work. I'm saying for a reason

I'm not gonna I'm not gonna sell my show to HBO. I'm gonna put it online and it made him look like a cool pie-gatherer kid, but he made a fortune and then he gave it to the network. Oh, because his actual show, Louis, he got offered millions to go to network. FX was like, we'll give you this much, but you can own it. But if it fails, you fail, but you don't make any money.

Oh, I didn't know that story. Yeah, he actually, the president of FX, the first season gave a speech, like, and told the story behind the scenes. Basically, we offered Louis a couple hundred thousand in episode, which is shit. Right. And, but he owns it, but he can create and do it every once.

And we said to him, we'll air whatever you give us. So he would literally mold. Yeah, with that. But FX gives him a check and then he comes back with a fucking DVD basically and some fine releases. That's it. That's never been done. I love Luis, obviously the top,

one of the top comedians of all time, and he's fucking hilarious and he's the tough one, Don, and blah, blah, blah, the smoke up his ass. But I will say, I get really annoyed when he talks about his divorce in a cool way and everyone claps and he has that bit about how people say, aww, when you get, why are you saying that? I got divorced, I just got out of a shitty thing and someone's clapping and high fives. He fucking left your kid with single parents and kids are always worse off in divorces. So I understand it has to happen

sometimes. Maybe his wife was a fucking nut bar, but don't brag about it. Like Kevin Hart has this thing where he's talking about how bitches are crazy. They're so crazy. And then five words later, we realized he was cheating on his wife, and that's why his marriage fell apart. Don't fucking brag about divorce. It's a failure. Right. I I Stop listening to you literally five seconds after you talk. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, motherfucker. I'll fucking trash them, but I Seriously, you need to work on your fucking aura

If you can go to a psychic and have some I will take that I will take that insult to heart and try to be more charming I understand what you're saying though. There's certain things but here here You can do that with anybody. You can't say something I mean you could say something about his act or whatever But I could go to his act or my act you can get I think any part of somebody's act and go, oh, that's fucking dumb. This is good, but that stinks. I mean, that's, no.

I'm unequivocally correct. This isn't an opinion. It's not cool to glorify divorce, and it makes me not. But are you the same as the people saying that about child molestation that people are outraged about him? No, I'm not offended. I just, i think you're making jokes about your kids being worse off i don't like that kind of humor

yeah but you don't like it doesn't make it bad or not good yeah that's the point it's not the joke it's the point what do you mean well he's but he's also saying his point is the divorce rocks he's saying no it doesn't it rocks it's okay it's not saying that it rocks he's saying it's okay he's saying it's not I think you literally said it's awesome. It's why saying that in a joke you fucking asshole I mean come on you sound like one of these people that you fucking Yeah, it's the same people that go. Oh, he said you could fuck it. Yeah, dude. It's not You're what I know he's saying he's saying in a joke, but he's saying it's divorce is okay It's not what it used to be where the fucking father would just go away

His wife lives, he lives, he moved in his production. Everything is right blocks away from where his wife lives so that they have the kids. I mean, are we living a culture where divorce is like, oh shit happened and when I see a guy, shit! That's a matter. Did you never hit record? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones in Volotea.com. Well, we have the backups. So we're good. You do? Yeah. Okay, hang on guys. I'm going to use this opportunity to piss. What is this? Your bladder? We're going to have my wife. We're going to have to use the backup.

Sorry, guys. Okay. All right, we're still going, right? Yeah. I fucking mind. This is this is this is good. My mic was it on. I didn't turn my mic on,

but we're gonna have to use the backup for this. Yeah, yeah, we got it. Okay, good. Yeah, I think that, I mean, look, I don't wanna get divorced. I want, my thing was, I always hated when guys were, I miss my kid, I miss my kid. And they would never say I miss my wife.

I always, I wanna fucking miss my family. I like being in a family. I never thought I'd have a family or even want a family. And now I do. And I, but I, because I made the choice to get married. I made, it was my choice to have a kid. It was my, so when they're divorced and they have a one year-old and a two year-old, I just think you fucking loser. What was the matter? You weren't happy. Oh, you weren't getting enough blow jobs. The kids won. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. You can't say that. You don't know what if the people don't get along anymore. And then that's exactly what I'm talking about. That's a pile of bullshit.

Yeah, but what I can't agree with. You made a baby. You had a bad year. Saw we. No, no, no, no. If we, but you don't know what happens behind the scenes, you don't know if it's it, you're the man. So you spoke. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on hang on so what you say I agree with you all right all right so you guys agree that if you're with somebody for years and hang on you should fix it for the kid no I think you

should fix it as a man as a man you should fix it I don't have any kids and we remember like each other you know about me my wife literally didn't probably like each other for three years right? Yeah, we just don't like each other This you and we realized that we had to work so like we got married This one happy we got right when we got married my mom was was basically dying the second started dying I'm sorry, we got man, right? Yeah, sure. Sorry, dude, but now so for two years my mom was fucking dying It was a side that didn't let me year we watch your legs, though watch your legs

The F-bombs So so for three years it was just up and down relationship me and my way and we knew that we said to each other We don't like each other right now. We love each other We don't fucking like each other and we work through it like adults dose and you fit we figure out how to love and like each other now We're bad years bad years. Yeah, back up Bobby. What started back up? Okay Well, basically they're both agreeing with the fact that if you get married to somebody stick it a fuck up Stick it the fuck out. Maybe it make it work and you shouldn't get divorced I don't think you shouldn't you't think you should aim not to.

And I don't want Gavin to sound like a hip cause it's back, it's Gavin right now. You sound like the biggest fucking hip-hop kid in the fucking world. According to the podcast, everything you said with the fags and aids, then you jump into it. But marriage, you sound like one of those crazy down South fucking, no, you gotta have your,

but I've sold your wild oats. Yeah, part of your ass off. But like, you got wasted when you were 14, you you're 25 how much fucking cocaine does one man need? You're gonna blow out your septum, dude? Settle down and then once you set it on you make that commitment It's like moving to China like you got to learn the language you got to learn all their stupid customs Yeah, take off your shoes and you go inside you got to learn that dumb language that's highlight 300 characters And commit you don't go to you don't move to China sell your shit and then come back for months later and go

It's really hard. They're speaking Mandarin. They say nigger all the time He snuck that You know that was a sneak it you know he was eat that whole fucking long set up of China She was it was just to say the fuck in the end word. As I was shunned, sneaking in with you, so you can't get my head. It was the Chinese people saying it. Not the Chinese people.

I think people get divorced too, Willy Nile. I know if you don't have kids, I think it. Fuckin' just get divorced. Okay, so I was, while you were at the time, you're explosive diarrhea. I was saying I love Louis, the only time I didn't enjoy him, was when he was basically bragging about his divorce, and that's what I hated about Kevin Hart's last special

He was bragging about it for this. Oh, well here's the thing I I agree that you should not get divorced you should try to work it out But I think certain people the wrong people could do get married. Yeah, I think like Anthony Cumia But then that's a part of why you married such a crazy bitch and then have a kid okay? Well Anthony Cumia got married to the wrong person and then he finally got divorced. Yeah, but- Sometimes it benefits the kid to get divorced. But what, you're saying that he shouldn't have got-

This is what you're saying, stop you motherfucker, because now you're idols on the line. I know, I'm about to ruin our friendship. You're fucking idols on the line, okay? Who, everybody's idol? He's fucking his fifties. I don't have idols. I don't have idols. I'm not a idols I'm not a fan of okay all right I'm not a fan of anyway all right I don't even read fiction all right so I'm like being in someone else's brain you should get that as a tattoo I'm not a fan of any but don't fuck yourself not idols you know I don't you cock sucker no I don't all right I

you want to be someone else I know be you be your own superhero you might be David Bowie we'll get your own Rogue like fuck ass Lexus next week, okay? Scobo scared he got fight right now. I'm like oh scobo's just worried about that his hair Dude my hair. He's braided again. I should Asked braided hair. Yeah, you should have The veins before the other world It's getting her groove back. He can't do a fucking accent though when he's doing it.

Come on, pretty lady. So he got divorced. You're saying that he should have stuck it out. He should have worked it out with that woman and figured out how to be together. That's what you're saying. Kumi, is the story public about what happened there? Yeah.

It doesn't know the intimate details of what happened there? Yeah. It doesn't know the intimate details of how that marriage blew up. Yeah. You say it, you say it. When the sexual adventurers started getting crazy, he shouldn't have known. Oh fuck, I hope he doesn't know that. I don't remember this.

You're driving the bolt. Okay, so if one of your passengers goes, let's start doing 360s. You have to go, okay, we're gonna do some 360s here But we're gonna take it easy and if it gets too crazy, I'm gonna put it off. Is this an analogy or what happened? He was an analogy It's an analogy and he let the boat go off course He got a little too crazy with the sex stuff and it imploded

He should have steered that and stayed with that crazy bitch, right? So you think he should still be married to that fucking woman he despises. Yeah well he despises her because of the divorce. He could have fixed her. A wife is, is, I don't want to say malleable. It's hard to not sound so serious. Because we don't know that word. Yeah, but it's your wife's family.

Say it and I think I would hood shit. Say it and I think you, I'll clean it up. I'll never tell you. I'm not saying, say it and he'll make it open. A husband is the boss of the family in the sense that he's driving the boat now You need the whole crew there or the boats boat's not gonna make it But if the divorce happened it's on you even if she's a crazy bitch now if she's a total psycho fucking horror I never met Anthony's wife Then yeah, the marriage falls apart, but that's a tiny fraction. We're up to a 50% divorce rate

And every time someone's telling me that we gotta let me down. Yeah, it's time someone tells me He's like my marriage is falling apart and I go when you last fucker and he goes well, it's been a long time You go fuckers dudes bitch up a lot of dudes right now Bitching up and they just sitting there and I will I don't want to tell her what to do at a certain point as a man You say look shut the fuck up This is what's going to happen This is the hood thing right this one. No, this is I guess it is I do agree with my fuck it up because I was raised by a bunch of dudes You know me shut the fuck up

There was there was moment because I make my wife flinch There was there was moment because I make my wife flinch There were moments why I literally had to say okay everything you're saying is wrong You gonna be be quiet. Okay, shut the fuck up. Shut up. This is what we're doing because it is a moment that has to happen Because after a while you just start both too many thoughts there's too much goofy shit going on. Women wanna make some dumbass decision. Men we do too, my wife has told me to shut the fuck up before it too. She said you're fucking wrong.

And I said you know something, you're making good, that's the thing, we're married. It's not like people forget, people think that since you're married or since you're with somebody you're not allowed to have on a pinion and have a real emotion. No my wife say what the fuck you, if you feel something something fucking say it?

I'm not gonna hit you, you don't gonna hit me, you know, no goofy shit, just say what the fuck you feel so that we can get to the bottom of shit instead of sitting there, running around and it's the problem with people getting divorced. No one's willing to speak up and say honestly how they feel. So everybody's pussy footing around everything.

What you gotta say when an happens, you don't build up these resentments. I'll tell you what you do exactly beating off if you stop beating off You'll be so horny you'll you'll rape in quotations your wife and if you fuck a bitch once a week You can't you know it centers you now do you have to call her a bitch? Yeah, yeah Black guy in the room can't call her by her name. Well, we're talking about divorce So we're not talking about a super sweet lady that you'd want to be around.

We're talking about a bitch that needs to get fucked. I think a lot of divorce is because the people cheat. Don't you want me to say? I think I think a lot of divorce happens when I'm saying you should have fucked your wife. I think a lot of divorce happens because people stop communicating. And another thing you just said,

whole resentment. And the resentment, they're like little tickets that never go away. And if you have the argument, if you, they're like little tickets that never go away, and if you have the argument, if you just have the argument, the fuck you, fuck off, you're an asshole, well you did this, and then you work through it, you'll come out on the other side,

and you'll fucking, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, I know you fucking, you'll, you sound like you're from LA. I'm talking, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, I didn't say, talk it, if you, if you, if you're, first of all, fucking,. You sound like you're from LA. I'm talking out you fuck I didn't say talk it if you if you First of all fucking fucking doesn't cure shit like it's a fucking

Hell you fucking spiritual Fizz and it's way better than a conversation somebody go and shut you fucking did that don't fucking do that and her Go and fuck you or I'm sorry and go do that and then you could fuck maybe you can put the baby back in the bottle You sound like a fucking L.A. fucking let me show you the fucking tambourine asshole oh make look go fuck your bitch Translate it to you in L.A. Troll let me kill you fucking dumb rapper from the fucking 80s. Let me give you a bitch and make that shit right the bitch ain't killing it I'll fuck her all night. Fuck this guy. You making the point.

Is that easy? That's a lot of easy. We can learn a lot. No, I'm not like experienced. Let me get you died of it. Yeah. Let me give you out of medium. Let me give you out of fucking medium.

Oh, shit. This is what it is. Let me give it a black, black. No, no, no, no. I'm giving you what really was mean. Let me give it to my penis. You're going to give it to my penis? I'm going to give it them my penis? You're gonna give them my penis? Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah My dick's gonna make things worse. You can fuck your wife hard. My wife Bobby not to be like listen

You said a thing This we can both mask to make next to each other True the problem it'll get With you need a communication you gotta say was making you angry you also got a fucker like a champ right? You got a fuck like a champ. I grew both things now. This would be my wife What if you can fuck like a chip I grew both things now This will be my white way of whatever you can fuck like a runner up Why's don't want to get the fuck down to them they want you to go like two minutes They want to

One hour if you're not one can you got an hour in you She's like I tried to do some fucking finger blasts in in the beautiful shower that I have and around 20 minutes in She was like I'm done. I was like I couldn't have said something fucking 20 minutes ago I've got a couple ton of syndrome now because you're a fucking passive aggressive asshole People please in bitch. What was your point? What was your point? No, I'm saying medium. No, what I'm saying, the medium is you speak up.

Are you checking your love pressure right now? He's got to watch it. There's the touchy son, Jack. No, no, the medium is you really have to have a conversation. I didn't even know you were in a bracelet, got it? You have a strong conversation about how much fucking you want to do. You know, that's the thing. Like, on her side, you have to speak up and say well because a lot of problems

People are scared to say the type of fucking they want right especially were marriages and women always leave and they fucking yeah They get this fucking instead of a dude. Yeah, who? Hitchie, I Get the stuff of it. Oh, I thought I was making a Stutter of a dude who's fucking the shit out of me. Why didn't you tell me you wanted a day away? Well, I was scared that you couldn't like that's the problem. No one's fucking communicating me my wife Here's the thing though. I can't my shit. Here's the thing if I can't remember cheating on me I think that's what I want

I think I want to walk in and Not me. I wanted to fuck me. I wanted to fuck something else That's not gonna do it. I'm sorry. I'm still be on top. No, no, no, no, I'm not you. I don't want it to fuck me. I wanted to fuck something else. That's not gonna do anything. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna fucking still be on top. No, no, no, no, I'm pretty good. No. No, I would, I would, oh.

I yeah. Wouldn't it be awesome though if wives were as horny as husbands? They are, if you, if you, if you, if you, I could beat off, like say my wife was sick or something, I could just beat off. She could just show me one tit and I'd go, oh, fuck, thank you. The idea of me just holding my cock out and

going, all right you can master me looking at it. No, I feel the same way. It's it's frustrating. Amazing. Gays must be exhausted. They are. Women are, I don't think most women are instinct. They have that hornet. You got to figure out how to what's their thing to get to it. Well, black women are hard. Joe, you're more horny than your girl. Yeah, I mean, she likes to have sex. OK, I mean, she likes to have sex. It might might have been off this whole time. Oh, I can't remember.

That's a real good one. It's fine. It's fine with a sparring partner. Did they hear that? Yeah, we did. You're skillet. You're skillet. We got it, right?

I mean, she got sort of the sort of a check. Hang on. Yeah, we got the sparring partner. All right, great. Thank you. But like, like I could, like you're saying, I could jerk off watching my girlfriend get dressed in the morning.

Like that makes me, I'm like, fuck, I want to just jerk off while you put your pants on. Really? Like I'm gonna watch as me put a hoodie on. She's not touching herself, you know what I mean? And we were talking about this, like this time's where I'm like, I got to jerk off, like I got to, I have to go jerk off so I can continue to function.

She's like, what is that, like that's mind blowing to her? Yeah, right. I'm like, I have to go to off so I can continue to function. She's like, what is that? That's mind blowing to her. Yeah, right. That I'm like, I have to go to the bathroom and jerk off, or I can't continue this conversation. We're just having me less now, because I'm in my 30s. So in my 20s, I would literally have to be like, pretend to shit and go jerk off.

I was hell, remember your teen years, you'd be beating off six times a day, and you'd say to God, to be used. Can I just, can you slow this down please? Lately, I fuck so much in my 20s. It was in early 30s. It was I've kind of fucked but got my dick sucked a pussy fucking a asshole fuck so much sex. It was it's fucking me didn't and it's weird that it's gone and it just went away and I'm well dude. There's I'm not going to fucking Brazil. I'm not

That type of fuck sex is gone out of my life and it is forever It's done. I'm not gonna just be getting head and vestibules or fucking chicks and all these are me Wow, just realized it's going lay it's a Hold on to Loo has a bit about this and he says people who aren't married think you just haven't the same hamburger every night. It's not like that. It's like you're having the same kitchen every night. So you come into the kitchen and you're like, okay, what do we got here? I know, what about lasagna with it's kind of spicy?

Oh, you're pussy. Why is it a pop all up? I don't want a spicy pussy. I never heard that. Yeah, that's a funny thing. I never heard that. I'm not talking about me and my wife, so I'm not. But some just popped into my head now.

What about I put my cock in you, right? And then I don't pump. Let's try that. Just hold it there. You do goofy shit. Just let's try this now. No, I know what you're saying. You're saying that the people say I have steak every night. It's not. You're right. You're absolutely right. You can try a new shit.

But here's the thing though with the relationship. relationship okay me and my wife tried real playing one night and she was okay let's do it you're sad well you already I'm sad he was already like yeah listen my wife was Nick the Paula yeah how's the podcast going it's got a fucking podcast. Yeah, they have any cool memes that work. They want me to be on their fucking show. I said, okay, you're a massage therapist. She goes, now, and it's like, I'm done. I'm not having an argument about why you-

She never took an improv class. That's a great story. You know why it's great about that? You were driving the boat. Yeah, now these divorce guys, they go, okay, I'll be a massage therapist. You know why it's great about that you were driving the boat. Yeah now these divorce guys they go Okay, I'll be a massage therapist and like my father-in-law the other day it was in the winter He slipped and fell on some ice and he looked like a total spaz So it wasn't the other day it was a long time. Sorry. It was this winter and

Different day up today he gets up and he goes don't tell don't tell Chris about that. That's his wife That's crucial. Why? Because you don't show vulnerability. Like if you are walking with a cake and you fell and your face went right into the cake. My dream. Say it again slow. You got to take a weed bottle. Take a dick out of that. And it's one of those cream filled cakes and you feel the cream. If you're just going down your throat in your icing all over your face,

so it can only be from the baby. You should tell your friends that, don't tell your wife about that. Well, I don't say I'm scared. Could I say something? There is something because you look weak. My wife said to me, you know, my wife said to me a few weeks ago, she goes, you know,

we have some type of fight about something, and she brought up the fact that I don't fill her car up with gas She said that like but I realized I go oh her father used to go Just get the cars and fill them up didn't ask didn't fuck just went and did it and it's like that was a That's a man thing to her. Like, and she also told me recently, she loves when I'm in the backyard. Fuck, I'm in the backyard doing a lot of shit now.

And she loves it. She loves seeing me out there being a fucking, it's about her type of man, like I'm doing on the yard work and I'm building on the shit and I built my kid this fucking amazing fountain thing. And, oh, so you got a woman that still likes men. Like a man and that's a man. And it's like, I don't, I don't come in and ask for praise.

I don't come in, because I, you know, I know that there's some, she sees her father and she likes when I'm that guy. But when I'm coming in and I'm fucking bitching or talking about the fucking business or, fuck, I heart or whatever. She's like, I don't fuck, like, my wife doesn't rub, if I throw up in the middle of the night,

she won't rub my back. You know what I mean? She won't come in and go, like my grandmother used to come in and go, you all right? It's okay. She hold your hair back. What I add here.

You gotta figure out what a valid complaint is and what is, hey, hey, that's enough for that. Because you gotta remember that you're driving the boat. Yeah. Yeah. And either you see, I have an old-school life that actually likes the... She likes staying home. She likes being with the kids.

She likes not working. She likes... I just got and shit, I broke the internet this weekend by saying, but most women would be happier at home. You know what's funny. 95%. I was told about that. Really? I was, you know, you know, one of the things my wife actually said, my wife says, she's a fucking she has to work.

She has to. She does, but she has to work to pay the bills. No, I'm saying she does. She's fucking holding this whole shit together. But she said to me one day, she's like, you know what? Like most women want and she's had this conversation at a job She's a nurse and she was like most of women just want to really stay home get a nice dick in them and fucking just cook She said that she said dick in them. Yeah, she said dick. I love that she wouldn't make she talk reckless I love that shit my wife doesn't talk reckless. Oh you kind of want a little bit like that You know, you know what that I don't want my wife. You're like the girl. I don't want her to go like this

Yeah, man some people want just to dick What did say it like that? All right, yeah, that's my beard, too You said the way your wife said it I just like it did just do one try it. I think she's try it. How would you say she was like she's like this is what well She is kind of good. She's like she's like most women just want to go home Cook a little bit clean a little bit, clean a little bit, and get a nice dick in them, and then go to sleep. That's the fuck women want.

I think you're gotten better as an actor today. Thank you. The two characters. I put a lot of pressure on them. Have you noticed that when you ask a woman, what's your ideal day? They always say lying in bed all day just surrounded by magazines. And you're like, I wouldn't be bored shitless. What are you lazy? I love magazines. I think I am gay. I think that's good.

If there's cake involved in this, my wife got to do 5,000 things before she's come. She got to do everything. My wife cleans before the fucking maid comes. Oh, she, she, but my, I tell you this, my wife loves being a mom. Stay at home mom. She really does. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell these women I'm I'm saying bitches anymore good that that helps sexes to say this but ladies you're throwing away your ovaries for what so you can do a seating chart for a fashion show or so you can work in a marketing job I mean first of all though look look at the women that like that do not have babies that go out and get a job that actually if they

didn't I think we'd be missing something in the world. Like Amy Schumer. She's not a cabana baby. Her show this year was one of the funniest things I've watched. Yeah and if she didn't have the passion to be a comedian and not I don't not be home and have a baby and just be some kept woman. If she didn't have the drive, the same drive me and you and all of us have, we would have missed out on this amazing fucking holy shit, I think in comedy. And I think the, the, the skits that she did were fucking beautifully self-deprecating. And I think they were hilariously entertaining. And we would never

had that so what do you say about that? I say that maybe she's part of the 5% okay I love that you give we do give a percent 95 would be better stay at moms someone like Kennedy on Fox Business her show she's part of the 5% okay she breathed you can go the list she has kids what about what about Amy'll know I was actually talking about this with Sarah Silverman both of those women Salva Shaman do you she they made a sacrifice? I I said to her. I'm like what entertaining strangers like making strangers laugh It's not as valuable as a little human being walking around so even they fucked up

It's not a look it is, it is as valuable. Um, it's, I think, look, I had a kid. I know how amazing having a kid is. I know what it is. It made me understand a lot of things in life that I didn't understand. Making a life is pretty fucking epic. And it changes your outlook on a lot of things. But I think that, uh, Amy Schumer, what she did, or what Sarah does, sorry, but I think that Amy Schumer what she did always salad us sorry and there's no Amy Schumer fucked up there's no way her show's one my favorite shows and it breaks my heart that she didn't have kids she you don't know she she still have kids she's only fucking like

thirty thirty thirty it's not looking good thirty to thirty five this is my wife was forty when she had that's very rare no it's not yes it is Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude bed, I'm sitting here like he's losing right now. Oh, take the hourglass. This is the hourglass, okay? It's got your ovaries in it. 30, it turns upside down. 30 to 35, gone. Now, there's Freaks, my mom had my brother at 40, my wife just had one at 41.

My grandma had eight, started at 35. If you talk about that number. No, she had a number. No, seriously. I know, kid. My grandpa had those 40 and she was around 35 had eight kids. I know I read her Wikipedia page No, but it's a good point though because I'm of two minds about it There's you know women are out there cheering cancer and doing shit, but

A lot of women doesn't really hold a candle And some like Jill Abramson the executive editor of the New York Times She had young kids and she had a very important career that changed journalism KT McFarland was the assistant of the Secretary of Defense under Reagan she took 15 years off and had a ton of kids and she still has an amazing career There are times when it happens but those are exceptions I'm talking about the vast majority It's only been throwing their ovaries in the toilet for jackson it's only been available for them for what fucking a little of a half a century or a little more that they could actually go out and get a job and yeah and pursue dreams also overpopulation a problem shouldn't we have less

people having children really we're not China quality not quantity citizens of America are not having kids now the immigrant illegal aliens make up a hundred percent of our population increase and our population is fine It's the turd world that's overpopulated. Oh the turd the rest of the world. Yeah, the the countries that are like hey dear than that hang on a second guys People what do you know that's not a superfluous adjective because I'm cramming in a lot of information in that insult I know I'm saying India is full of shitty I worry that someone's gonna shoot you in the face yes I am very worried about that yeah I mean it's gonna be some fat chick with debt it would know over it's like world according to Garpo in that mute lesbian shoots him at the end. I mean they've published my address. I never saw the movie.

It's more like a alert. Jesus. No, I said I said I was in a lot of shit last year. I had my company was shut down because of it. What was your company name? Rooster. It was an ad agency. Okay. We just sold it thank God, but the new owners shut it down after this. I said, transgendered people, you're not a woman, you're a mentally ill gay. And then to prove me wrong, they started publishing my address and saying they wanted to eat me and shit. So you call mentally ill people mentally ill,

you're putting your life in jeopardy. But you think trans, now this whole thing will prove shatter. Do you think this is just a gay guy who's mentally ill? Yeah, really. I don't even think he's gay. I think he's having some serious depression issues and a bunch of other mental problems now he thinks this is going to solve it and he's going to

if he chops his dick off he's going to go with feel great for about a year this always happens but i looked into this third suicide rate is brutal right so that's all i was about a really hot tranny though well i argued with balejay about it and i and i love balee jay at least he kept his cock well she what did they i mean this hard to say but i mean it which is trying to do externally but you

have a dick he had a hard so what do you think about a guy who bangs a triton hot now i'm really i'm saying hot it has any sexual and anything sexual with a transgender woman what do you call them really barely jays boyfriend is gay okay so now i'm i'm talking about anybody if you just anyone like you're not gay if you if you've sucked a dick before

just so one big you know gay i think i'm gonna get a point of crazy stuff in college hang on one day you know gay you're clear but Are you gay? I Think you're gay from birth. You're straight from birth and it doesn't matter if you did some crazy shit in college But if you're so you've been sucking cocks pretty regularly for a long time. What's regularly? What's regularly? If you suck a dick a year, you're gay. Shit. What a year. Let's go bad. I'm not

Shit, what a year. Let's go bad I can't agree with that is this is white guy logic if you put a dick in your D.A. you fucking you Dicks but look at the ratio of sex going on in there That is her gaze or one percent of the population prison You're a little stats haven't don't mean that I get you got a dick. We have stats on sex and prison by the way I do right here. Is it right? I do 78% of black men You include prison more men get rapes than women. I've heard that yeah, that makes sense Yeah, that's a doozy

If it's that If you include prison more men get raped and that's crazy. That's how prevalent rape is in prison you're saying You cannot have a dick. Like I say the same thing for women though, you suck one pussy, you can't. It is what it is. You suck a dick though and you go, you're a high on MDMA at a rave and you suck a dick and go, that was gross. Every time I ever miss that, I need a dick in my mind.

I want pussy. That's all I want. I'm craved to get some pussy. I don't want a dude's dick anywhere near me What percentage of guys in prison are getting raped inmates is it 70? I don't know whatever sell you right now. I do not report it. I know I have to say 32 I'm Fun of knowing stuff. What's about it with no being? It's fun. I really can't go to jail

You can't scuba. What do you think of that game suck one dick? What you ever have a lug you suck one you know what a lug is a lesbian until graduation All these chicks are eating each other's pussy's cuz they're all hot and then they go that was weird because it's just a fire Well, we did it for that that is amazing. Why is it not why is it so not gross for a chick to suck a chicks pussy and it's so fucking Taboo for a guy to suck a guy's guys like it. It's a double stand. I'm a be real man I'm not a fan of I'm not against it But let me import his born as shit like you need a dick involved in this yeah, we get so bad I'm not like a everything's had to be had a role

I don't give a if you're homo's actually gay when I don. I'm not like a everything's had to be a header or I don't give a If you're home or say you can get it. I don't I'm not Frappin upon it just accept what the fuck you are. I don't care. I don't I don't I truly don't give a fuck How you fucking but don't don't try to justify don't try to be like well I didn't really such a one dick You suck the dick a dick. I think I've never been in my mouth by choice like if I've I'm ever in a gunpoint It's like suck this dick or I'm shooting you and you're like, of course I'm a suck the dick. So I live. You're a second dick if I had a gun. I would be a gun in the bag. I would love it right now if you took a gun out and just fucking made him suck your big dick. That would be the bad. I'd stop

everything. Well, first of all, I'm going to fight a little bit too. I'm going to I'm going to have to go to be like, yeah, he'd have to shoot one by a year and then that's now and now I got a boner you want your sitting there bleeding like I'm making this hard dude you're gonna have to at least cat me it's gonna be a struggle it's gonna be a fight you have to blow like one bad name dude I'm just gonna be a horrible blow to I'll come be a pain bite you and I might bite. Dude, I'm just gonna be a horrible blowjob. Could I be in pain, biting you? And I might bite you dick off. I'm beyond it.

In my mind, I'm just a fighter. Joe would blow somebody with a finger gun in the pocket. I don't wanna get wet. Now it's coming to a water gun. I'm gonna run you. I'm gonna run my band rep for you, I'm gonna get good. With one of those fake gigs, hey, suck my dick, see?

There's a real gun, see? Dude, yeah, I don't wanna fucking talk. Dude, I'm about to, I mean, that's just gonna hurt your knee from backpedaling. Yeah, that is kinda like, dude, is this, this is live, right? Yes. Keith the cop just called me. Yeah? Okay, call him. No, that's bad. Why?

Because of that Anthony shit I said. Maybe I'm an idiot. I don't know what you said. I said he shouldn't have got divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced.

I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. I said he shouldn't have divorced. Yes, Keith the cop just called me. Yeah, okay, no, that's bad. Why because of that Anthony shit I said maybe I'm gonna shit. I don't know what you said. I said he shouldn't have got divorced So what oh boy, that's just an opinion that's like 20 minutes ago

You can have friends that and not have the opinion and have an opinion He did the art of thoties watching on Well, you don't think he should have got divorced. Who can I talk about it again? Don't make it worse He's gonna call me. I'm sure talk about it again. Don't make it worse. He's gonna cop calling me. I'm sure Andy would be like, I fuck, go fuck yourself. I should have. That fucking lady, whatever the fuck he was.

We should have. I had never met her. Never met her. Never met her. I only met all the hot ones after us. Oh great, Chris just quit. I mean, Chris, now he quit. He doesn't like the dick son.

I'm sorry, how many dick did you suck? A couple. Well, I had some weird shit when I was 12. That was my, oh, my, my parents were, are working class, but my dad is super smart. So he felt like an outcast when he came to Canada and all the other technicians and physicists making computers don't get shit faced every night.

So they go, Jim, are you coming bowling? And he gets and he goes, where is the fucking beard? Why is this? So he would hang around with the technicians at the company. And so I'm hanging out with poor kids in trailer parts. That's great. And those kids are sexually fucked up, I find. And I remember this one kid, we'll call him Johnny.

And he's like, hey, man, you got to tickle my nest until the birdie comes out. I'm like, I'm not doing that. That's gay. Right. And I didn't know what gay was. I'm not doing that. And then he goes, you have to. And then I would tickle his pubes and then he'd get a boner and then I would roll over and go to sleep. And that was one gay time. Another time, these two guys just started 69ing. And we were maybe 13. They were sucking each other's cocks. And then I knew what gay was.

And I go, maybe I was 11, and I go, guys, what you're doing is gay. And one of them just went, why does a ghost start puking his guts out, and his mom had to pick him up? Yeah, because the other guy came. And it was all you said. We would beat off together

before we could come, our dicks would just go purple. And I even took a dick when I was maybe 10 and it purple erected cock and just sort of went, and then didn't let it touch the edges. Because that's gay. And that's not gay. When you're a kid, I really believe this. When you're a kid, you don't know what sexuality is.

You don't know. And then there's a point where you go, I like, so am I gay now for all that kick in the bird? I don't agree and then there's a point where you go I like so am I gay now for all that? You're not clean the bird. I don't agree with that shit I don't you spill fucking water all over my fucking electronics But no, I don't agree that you don't know what sexuality is sexuality is do the thing Well, I don't I grew up even already and like a mother fucker, so but it's often that When I was I was young I was getting a lot of chicks were doing weird shit to me.

As a kid, and I was just, I was a sexual kid. You were sexual with that, but I know a lot of black eyes who've been diddling, but it's really not. It's just you discovering where you're going. Am I going that way? And that guy's getting molested by chicks. I was overwhelmed. I think he got fucked when he was 11.

I was molested by my cousin I suck my first titty in like second grade my girl cut me a second a second a third grade I had my first titty and I had a chick play with my ding dong and a fucking rhubarb bush Dude I see my you know, hey, man. I got molested by my cousin, but I don't think that was healthy I don't think that was good that would be a good bring down Fuck you have later on I don't realize how much you're I don't think that was good. That would be a good bring down. It's a fuck you have later on. I don't realize how much it fucked me up to how I got married.

It fucked you up because you bring, I really believe there should be, and I don't know how it is, and I don't know how I'm gonna do it with my kid, but there should be, you should teach your kid about sex in a healthy way. Like the Catholic way is just don't talk about it. You just never bring it up. And I think

that's a fucked up way because you're out there getting touched by women or seeing titties or fucking putting a dick in your mouth or what you don't know what the fuck it is. You just know that things are these things are bad. You gotta find them perfectly though. You don't want to tell them too soon because it is weird. Like when I think about explaining sex to an alien, my cock gets filled with blood, and then I insert it into a woman, and shake it around until white goo shoots everywhere. That's a great way to tell a kid.

I think that's good. I should do that as a cartoon. Like Scientology. I got fucked up. I mean, I was, I was like, seven. And I used to make watch porn because my brother Wasn't allowed and friends weren't allowed to like be downstairs by themselves Yeah, so I would be there because the by parents were like all they're not gonna do anything when he's there

But these are fucking forced me to watch porn in jerk off. Oh, oh my Is that why your hair so conditioned? Years of my brothers come Does the most fun thing ever? Is that why your hair is so conditioned? Yeah. It was my brother's come. He's going to be there. My brother is much younger than me. And he had a game where you would sit in a giant cardboard box and the other kids would put their dicks through a hole. That's a goal.

And you would hold the penis. Yeah. And then the person who owns the penis would say, I like to ride my bike. And then you would go, that's Brian. That's a creepy ass game. And it's called, it's called, who, who, who are you and what do you do? Let me put it in play that.

First of all, you, you, you, have had the gayest little games I've ever heard of. Take all the bird feathers. That was for me, that was my brother. You wouldn't get a game that I played grown up. I played a house, and I would always try to be the dad so I could fuck the wife. I was just all the fucked up. One time, after a while why what's I do the game of house? I was like look

How about we just cut the house shit and you you how about I just how about this? How was it and eight I was getting my dick suck? More than I should know because I understood I understood what it was and the girls really didn't we were the same age I'm like yeah, but I was I was fucked up that's it after my cousin fucking So that's why my great cousin my name Technically, but I was a rate she forced me But I don't know it's very it's very I think that was

Look at Jolus, you know what I can't sign off on this I got a career to think about I know a dude named Galen He just got a job for nine years because he a lot of 14 year old suckers cock and he was 19 he was a gay guy Yeah, she would have been in well I was like Seven eight and she was like 27, okay, that's not that's that's just Covering it's just wait. Well for her. She knew what she was she I don't okay that's not that's that's just Covering it's just wait well for her she knew what she was she didn't I don't think that's yeah, it's not rape

I'm talking about the old it was molestation Well when I don't think it was molestation. I think it was that that that age. I don't think you really know what the fuck is going on No, we really you know No, you're you're saying it now, but I'm really because we use the terms Are you gonna suck my dick like that? With the game out of my mouth? You know I think you want to think of bullshit, but I'm sorry. I'm fucking telling you

I don't know, but I don't think it was sucking do you want to suck my dick? I think you're repeating what you think what you heard or what you know it was a learn Action after the first time it happened it was a learn action after the first time it happened. It was a learn action because then I got I had all the brother. You called it a dick. Are you sure you didn't say ding ding? I have. How? How?

Have you ever seen the prosecutor have ever seen black inner city kids talk to each other? No. Yeah. Yeah. They they know a lot of shit by the time you're like six. You know way too much about the word on the train. I did. The fact that you do it. And the thing is there's one kid maybe two out of a group who They know a lot of shit by the time you're like six you know Yeah, you're on the train all the time

You do anything is there's one kid maybe two out of group who really knows the fucking talk about I had been Here and I had all older brothers and cousins, so they told stories about shit all the time Yeah, I had here and then I knew I get my dick so well I had all the brothers and cousins. That's how I knew all that shit. Yeah, I was talking jerk off I like is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know, I just, I knew, I never discovered sex. I just always knew about it because they would just tell me. They would tell me that they're good.

I have sounds terrible. I hang out with all the kids too, and I was exposed to things I shouldn't have been exposed to. So I learned stuff that I didn't know what it was, but I kind of did. I got porn magazines all that shit. Yeah, my brother gave me a magazine. And even when HBO first came out,

they would have these movies with people fucking. I know there was just one movie with this kid, a young kid, oh God, it was a great movie. The young kid and there was a teacher and she was teaching him and then he, they kinda, oh lean on me trying to get And then he he She was sleeping and he stuck in and pulled up the sheets to see her bush

Yeah, and pulled up her titties to see her titties I don't see any book and then she woke up in the middle of it and fucking made love to the kid And it was so hot. Well how old is this kid before I say, ooh. Two. Let me tell you how this box ran. No kidding. After all that stuff with the birdie and the dicks and the most fucking game.

I hated myself. I was like nightmares every night. Oh my god I've done gay shit. I'm a homosexual. I did the same thing by the way. When I got in the bush by the in the rhubarbush, I've done gay shit. I'm a homosexual. I did the same thing, by the way. When I got in the bush, in the Rubat bush, I cried myself to sleep, to God to erase it. I thought God was going to punish me.

My mother came up and was like, what's wrong? I was hysterically crying. And she came up, what's wrong? And I go, and I had to say nothing, because I, but I wanted to say what happened. But I was so fucking crushed by this, that I thought I fucked up and God was gonna punish me. And I made it, what happened, but I was so fucking crushed by this that I thought I fucked up and God was going to punish me. And I made it.

What a waste. So anyway, when the, no, I mean those feelings, like all that regret. Well, yeah, because it was taught. I mean, it was, it was just fake guilt and so much stress for a little kid. So when my brothers come in, they go, we're playing, who, who are you and what do you do? And they told me about it and they were telling each other, I sat down and go, look guys, you're gonna do some crazy stuff and you're gonna make mistakes.

And if it happens, like don't do it, don't play that game anymore, but don't beat yourself up. It's not the end of the world. So those fucking kids go home and say, Kyle's big brother says it's okay to play with each other's penises. Oh, yeah, that's basically what you said.

Yeah, that's how you were telling the truth. That's what you said You're fucking clean. I want to tell you my brother gonna walk in like what the fuck are you doing? Everybody in separate rooms. Yeah, no one look at each other. Nobody is sucking a dick What about my girl cuz she's doing blowin everybody Is she how now? nah she's married and I got a lot of stories but no not about her but that's not the shit I think that I really wish I was taught sex in a different way though. I wish it was presented to me in a different way because I've had so many I wish it was presented to me in a different way because I've had so many

Fucking weird things with sex that I didn't understand I had a work through guilt and fuck and then what is right? What is wrong? What do I like what I don't like? It was such a fucking weird thing with me with sex my whole life I know to do my hands. I can teach you a few things, but really after the show. Yeah, for sure Are you gonna wear that, Bob. Really? After the show? Yeah, for sure. Are you going to wear that shirt? Stay after school. Doesn't Pearl Jam mean come? No. He really throws you, doesn't he? I mean, I see something you got a nice retort. He says something you go, no.

Well, I was trying to, you know, I'm a Pearl Jam. Jam that looks like a Pearl Jam. But that's not what it is. Certainly, it could be a word for come. We could say that. But't think that's they didn't end their band if we were in high school There is this this Kevin cousins and Tracy Lumin and they were Wanted about I love it they were nude in in his unfinished basement. No 70s things with the rugs and the polls and It got out that they sat together naked from each other and just like touched each other's parts Yeah, and everyone was laughing.

That's natural, right? What a bunch of losers. And I'm looking back and I'm thinking that's the best way to learn about sex. That's kind of... Two teenagers in love, like just poking and... I think that what I regret about it, I wish somebody said, you know, and it didn't happen until I was 15 and got into rehab, that somebody finally said, what's wrong?

Stop it, it's fine. I wish somebody said that earlier, that sex is what you did, Bobby is okay. It's fine. I wish somebody said that to me so I didn't have to carry around a secret for all those years. And that's why maybe I was trying to bury feelings with alcohol and drugs and crime. What the fuck I did? I wish somebody was like, dude, you fine. Because when that guy told me when I was 15, and I said this before on the show, when he said, tell me your deepest, stuck at secret, I said, I fucking jerked a friend of mine off

and blah, blah, blah. Oh, you hadn't told us that one yet. Well, he, well, I did. There's some circle jerks and whatever. Okay. Blue guy first take. But, wait, you hadn't told us that one yet. Well, he, well, I did. There's some circle jerks and whatever. Okay. Blue guy first take. But uh, where's the ink?

That easy. Okay. But it was basically kids. It wasn't a grown man. It was kids fucking around. Like, same shit you did. Yeah. And, but I grew up with that and I grew up on an alpha male

Boston guys and you're a fucking queen. If you, and then I, I walked around with this deep dark secret and he told me, I told him that he goes really okay Hang on and he hit the thing goes get Joshua Jason and Steve up here And he whatever their names when he brings them all up he goes you ever touch it your friends dick Yeah, you have a fucking touch your y'all. Do you ever touch your friend? Yeah, he goes yeah Everybody's done that you fucking asshole Because you're not gay. You're not that that's just you fucking experimenting as a kid.

I go, do you like guys now? I go, no, he goes, then there you go, that's what you are. But you know if you wanted to be with a guy, it's okay, but you know right now. Yeah, you're into show tunes and shit. So he's not gay for sucking a cock for a steak. I mean, I did not, I didn't know what a dick was. I didn't know what it was. It wasn't like, okay did not, I didn't know what a dick was. The thing is, I was like, okay.

I didn't know what it was. It wasn't like, okay. I didn't know what a dick was. I can't, I'm gonna suck this in. I'm gonna blow this microphone. You gotta blow something. I said it like, I said it very generally. Like, you can't even stick, but I mean,

that was a gay thing. You did some gay shit. That doesn't make your whole lifestyle. You wanna fucking do it. It was a good steak though. It was a steak of the steak I think you're gay if you like man and you like you like to be with man but don't it's crystal clear if you're gay yeah but just but just don't make it

okay the act itself very crystal clear fucking it's how about that I'll do the Lewis Gomez that if a guy he touches his friend's nut sack with his mouth tongue but as an adult as yeah it's can't be a decision to put in to nothing in my own we have a we have a poll you want to hear what the poll let's go to the poll uh... what is what is the fan say if you put a man's balls in your mouth are you gay or not gay what is the poll licked the poll i'm 77% say yes and uh... the other say that isn't a don't you mean the list has now

you make a lot of decision to put nuts in the market i can i can say you I'm gonna send say yes. I'm gonna be important. And the other saying yes. He hasn't a doubt. You mean Lewis says no. You're making a logical decision to put nuts to your mother with a nut. I can't say you're not gay on it. All right, Lizzie, we're gonna end this fucking show. We're gonna end this fucking show. This has been a fantastic show. I was checking my phone to see there was no emergencies for Colin

for saying that she had been empty. I wasn't checking my phone. Oh my God, you're just a scared little guy. That's it it like why I can't believe I'm tough I mean you're the fun way guys know so mad do you say fucking women should be in the kitchen queers have HIV blacks don't know shit well he never said that but auntie could you get out of you you're like I gotta I gotta go to Long Island I gotta fucking clean the pool he likes blacks I was listening to me I said that I'm gonna fucking clean the pool. He likes blacks. I was listening to me. I said that. Oh. I'm not getting it.

Look, no, I'm on Adderall. Adderall is me calling. And there's one little thing with it where you go. If it's someone mad at me, do I have a friend? That's fine. Come on, Anthony gets funny. If anybody gets funny, it's that motherfucker. Come on.

He's the funniest guy's walking the planet, dude. All right, so let's go around the room. What do you got? I met the cutting room dude. Alright, so let's go around the room. What do you got? I met the Cutting Room Thursday Friday. I'm in Westchester, PA and Saturday I'm back here in New York at a comedy outliers. What's your Twitter? Twitter at contour15cinnocitycomedy.com, CinnocityComedyPodcast. Check it out. What do you got me? I'm going to be at Caesar's Palace on Thursday. You can check it out at Gavincomedy.com and I'm starting my tour and I'm doing a one-man show called

Faggot Nigger. Jesus Christ, that's really the name of it. Yeah, it's aggressive. Now, how do you get about, how does that add to it? How do you, what do you buy ads for? It's been going great. We, there's billboards all over Vegas. We're doing commercials.

I know fucking kidding. Yeah, it just says, how's your draw? A lot of people. A lot of people love it. This whole political correctness thing is a myth I For a word it's written in Chinese So all this Chinese people come from the airport going no these Chinese people are going finally Someone fucking doesn't like it ease

No, I got nothing going on because they talk like that. Do you have nothing? I got a podcast. Yeah, do you not have shows? I'm not a comedian. I was really excited about it like 20 times in my life I got no show We'll go over all the check out begging to get together. I was about Tell you literally I was like this guy is We're gonna bust and go down there. This guy doesn't care he gets shitty tattoos Fuckin hasn't one match up I do a podcast called free speech that's on I know shit and

I don't know I'm on Fox News a lot of got a column at tackymag.com And you used to people can you just give a little backstory before you start it? You were co-founder of Vice. Yeah, I started Vice with a guy named Sruish Alvi in 1994. We moved it to New York in 1999. I sold all my shares in08. Since then, I've just been, I like to call it mentally retired.

Yeah, just fuck around, starting companies and selling them. Rich, why, are you rich? Are you loaded? Yeah, I'm really rich. Are you is this the same thing as the one man show? No, I got a house in Costa Rica, place up state. I got a pen of apartment. Fucking Range Rover. I love it. I love it. Stocks and bonds, Lions, Bernstein, right? They killed it. White, a Lions, Bernstein. Did you buy your cock? Was that just your

cock? No, I worked my fucking ass off, dude. Boy buy your cock was that just your car no I work my fucking ass off dude for your cock it wasn't white privilege no no no I'm saying you just win it right now I just I didn't say white privilege I said big dick and white that's it you're fucking good oh I see sorry I'm big you really you really jumped the gun man I don't believe you didn't wait for your side I'm not you I work my ass off for it man. I fucking busted my ass. I explain my world to you. My father sent me.

And you fucking dunkin' McLeod from the clan McLeod. What I look at you, I could see, I could see poverty. I could see you, bro. No shit, he looks like he's broke now. Yeah, you don't understand. I have the air conditioning. I have the windows down at the stereo 111. It looks like he made meth this afternoon.

Oh, see. But let me just explain why I'm such an annoying shrill bitch. I'm on Fox getting bombarded death threats from these social justice warriors all the time, attacking me on social media, closing down my companies. So I'm like a battered housewife. So when I come in here and someone says to me, I'm fucking work, there's no way, privilege! I'm bleeding.

Okay, you okay? I didn't know I could relax. I like it. What's up, man? Oh my privilege! What? What? Is Casey, you okay? I didn't know I could relax. How you get relaxed? I like it. What's up, man? Oh, hey. You said that I had my hand raised and you never met me before.

What's your deal? What's your deal? What's your defense for years? Jesus. I love you, Joe. I love you, buddy. July, this is a year's... You're going to make fun.

You're going to really make fun here. July 2nd, 3rd and 4th July 4th I'll be at the stress factory in the Brunswick, New Jersey. I'll be packed That's why I'm plugging it Try and outside your arms your stuff The die-hards are gonna be there. Yeah, don't lick your lips. You know I'm attracted to your lips July 2nd 3rd you got okay what you talk about second Dicks Those are attractive lips. Look at my lips. Yeah, you got nice. Stop being afraid Chris. You guys look at those really good lips

I don't know I think I you're looking at whatever look at these things. I know better look at this. You're just on better You know wait lip for better than any blind lip Like a nice healthy big Lillie's a ashy look at these Ashy I got Perfect blow job look at Jesus Christ Both of you guys Anyways July for whoever comes You'll be the

Whoever comes Yes Well put these lips to be you gonna Cup July 2nd 3rd and 4th I will give dress factory New dress New dress Whatever comes on that show He's gonna cut like a dry second third and fourth. I will give stress factory Stress factory and then show you work June 10th actually is Vinny headlines in the middle and Joe goes up at the end Hardly fucking hard June 10th. I was shooting my comedy central special

Joelist all over your face Look in being town in Boston. I don't know've any of the details yet. Now wasn't gonna say is it an hour made fun Well, it's a half of an hour Half hour that's fucking good. That's the movie. Yeah, thank you, man Thanks, but I'm so excited now now. I remember a year ago You're fucking on nervous. I'll fucked up. I don't know if everybody's fucking getting, I said, what I said, yeah. I can't remember. Oh Jesus Christ. Well, you're a God, it was doing leaven.

I said, who's this last night tonight? I said, I said, yeah, we didn't talk about that. I said, relax, it's coming. You know, it's just coming, you're on your way. You're one of the guys. Yeah, then you blew it in my face. Hello folks. No, it's coming to do it, we're doing well. Yeah, you're doing well. That's pretty, that's the speech I'm folks. No, it's coming to you and we're doing well.

Yeah, you're doing well. That's pretty much the speech I'm getting right now. It's coming, speech. No, you, it's not coming. Absolutely. You're making a point. I haven't even gotten that speech yet. Oh, you know, it's not coming.

But if you're funny, it's just a matter of time. It's like working on the railroad. He gets confused. Understand what he just said. Yeah, I know, I heard that. If you're funny, was the question. Yeah, if, what are they going to do? If you're kidding with kindness, he could be a vampire and do it for 700 years.

No one's going to his shows. Again, nobody understands you. I don't even know what that means. The guy in the dean. I don't want to know about it. I'll get the details out. June 10th. I got a pee and leave.

All right, good buddy. You haven't emerged. What are you doing? Well, I had a lot of water. Let's go. Let's take a photo. Let's go. Take a pee and then we'll take a photo. He's going to be at it. good buddy what are you doing a lot of water let's go let's go and the body is going to be a 27th three house sports

and it's new haven and sixteen seventeen eighteen July he's a goth ump club check it out August seventh and eighth governors check those dates out to robcada live dot com for all my dates Jesus Christ I hope the buildings on fire and also my special robbercale live at the village underground is available for five bucks on my

website produced by me and Jim CERPACO and July 16th sex drugs and rock and roll Arizona FX which is the show I am in with Dennis Leary John Corbett Elizabeth Gillies and a bunch of the fucking superstars Johnny Ails and Elaine Hendrix So make sure you check that out spread the word you guys are the fucking best. You know what did You've been listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

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