Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Who's Your DYADEE?!

Episode Date: November 23, 2015

Guest hosted by Yannis Pappas. We have Sam Morril, Mike Brown, and Jason Rouse. We meet Jason Rouse, who is one Hardcore Canadian. Yannis gets fumed when Deepu mentions that he got approached by a talent agent.This was a fun one! Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Y qué es lo que es? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Vamos, vamos, vamos! A la mejor cara de la frontera de la frontera de la frontera. No es lo que es que es un recorrer de la frontera. I'm not gonna come back to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth.

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. No topics of direction. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said, should I record it?

It's rubber killing. You know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what! I guess... Unblade casted out... I guess... I guess...

Died! Died! Brody... Died! What's up everybody! There's no Bobby Kelly this week. Bobby's missing and when he's really missing you really feel it. There's a lot of guy to miss I'm sitting in his chair, Yannis Papis stolen the show I'm taking over. You're stolen the show.

I stole it. I stole it. I stole it. He stole it. He stole it. He stole it. I was saying yeah he's from Canada so here's an interesting slang. Dry graduates at their best.

They don't have a stolen it. I stole it. I'm sorry. I'm in an education number one. It doesn't matter. graduates at their best they don't have I stalled it I stalled it in it so anyway education number one doesn't matter we could still kick your ass in fight we like you like you better chair chair with those shit in your pants oh can't Canada's like practice America you know I can't it's like preseason like Canada's like like the NBA preseason yeah more look look at this guy. I'm sorry, country's day.

You put him to work by your lips. Anyway, Janus Papis here, guest co-hosting for Bobby Kelly. And we got a great show lined up for you tonight. We're gonna talk basketball for... Let's not. Let's fuck out. No, we got some great guests. Why don't you guys introduce yourselves.

We'll start from the left. Okay, well, what's up, Mike Brown. You guys know me. What's going on? Sam Morrell good to good to be back on you know what dude? Jason Rose who is that guy? And of course keep going guys. I play things differently. I want everyone I want everyone to talk I like it you're acting like this is a liberal approach No, I want people to feel when Bobby's here deep who can't speak so yeah, he never introduces me So I feel so awkward saying that first thing so you you get to introduce yourself. What's going on everybody? I'm D. Pooh I'm the video producer and I also produce about one sweet singer and episode

I freed I freed the people you see I'm Born compare what's up? Look at that. Oh, well, you know what this is like a game where I will Chris to seven the paper. There you go. Lauren Cabera, what's up? Motherfucker! Look at that. Oh, well, you know what? This is like a game where Chris DeSevano dropped out and Bobby's podcast is usually just a bunch of dudes yelling and we're kind of short. It's like a couple guys fouled out and you guys are going to have to step it up. It's got more than an M&DR vibe so far, I like it.

It's a little more relaxed. Yeah, it's a little more relaxed though. I like it. I don't know how you can talk. Yeah. It's nice. Pl plenty plenty plenty of space And you guys are sitting next to a serial killer. Are you guys nervous at all? No, cuz I just watch your friends like files They usually catch you

You see he's got gold teeth a white guy little gold teeth You got gold teeth bald head you know the main situation on it's real. It's real He actually looks like the white version of you if from this angle From like 75 degree you guys almost like a white version of me Good point thanks for that. Appreciate it. He was great in Mad Max Fury Road Can I play guitar? Jason Rouse very funny comedian from Canada. I've known him for 15 years. Wow. How'd you guys meet? We met? Starting yeah, we were handcuffed to a fence at a gay bar

That's how it happened. Yeah, and so we've known a staple gun for his asshole and got him a new anap Exactly I think you nailed that in the first go round We met the same way you met what's going on We met the same way you met what's going on my How is Joe Mackey's good good when does this come out? Hi guys, when is this on the Sunday? Well, he's doing his album around the corner at the village underground Tuesday November 24th great comic is ours gonna be amazing very very very very funny. He's great So go go check it out if you're in New York City.

Deepwood, what you been up to? I've been good, man. I want to make this episode, the freed slaves. Talk, Deepwood, talk, run, free! The Wizard of Oz. I've been doing good. Everyone's telling me to watch Master of None and I'm afraid to.

Oh, because your people are finally portrayed on television. Yeah, well, this is the third time. There's three pieces of content that like tell Indian boys like follow their dreams. Yeah, slumdog, obviously. No, not slumdog. That's not about following your dreams. That's like some love story about some kid who just goes

on a game show and he gets fucked. And a lot of the crying game. What's their items? Maybe there's four. We have a thing called, we have a, keep asking him to be in dinner, so let's get you. Oh, yeah. You're learning about the first. This is called the bomb danna. We have a he fast enough antenna, so let's get

This is called the bomb danna when you try to throw out a joke and it doesn't work then you tie that around your microphone So go ahead welcome to the show first time I saw one of these it was tied around your act. Oh, do we have another bomb down? Two I think we're gonna need a couple of dildos back there What are the Indian movies? There was three that the follow your dream I was don't turn us on a racist What I like is what we do on this show racism sexism the big one lone ranger no Harold and Kumar oh yeah absolutely that's for you absolutely the like a big message of that was going to white. I like the second one. Second one's a big one.

Do you guys think it's a good time to be South Asian or Hispanic or a minority or a woman in comedy right now? It doesn't hurt. It's great. It's great if you're not the minorities I've used to. My situation is a little different. So you think Indians are again first priority over right now Yeah, yeah, enjoy why you can't bro. Yeah, I can I was I was hanging out

Hang out at a comedy show yesterday. I wasn't even on an agent walked over to me an agent and I went that fan Like gave me her card and was like talking to me and stuff. I was like this is that I don't know where she's probably looking for Indian talent. Yeah, wait, so that really happens real literally happened yesterday. She's like, can you play a Muslim?

Yeah. So I got you know, we just did we just get we just gave every bit of white male comic ammunition. No, no, that's how it happens. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like a Z's on, sorry. Well, I'm not following through, I'm not ready for it. So, you know, I understand that much.

Well, a lot of them aren't ready for it either. They just go. You just learn on the channel. Is it harder to be, you know, I don't know. There's, you know, there's pluses and minuses to every, I mean, if you're a woman and you're doing the road, that's certainly like, if you're a woman, if you had to stay the places I've stayed on the road then my hat goes out to you. You know, it's got me Brute pigs too, so

Great effect. Can we make a permanent residence for the bomb band over here? He's got it right over there. Jason Rouse slept with a prostitute last night. Did he really like this? Share this is a show. This is a hardcore show Yeah, you want to tell us about it? Yeah, tell us about it. I didn't pay no, but tell us about it. Oh, okay Did he really like this? I share. This is a hardcore show. Yeah, you want to tell us about it? I'm not ashamed. Yeah, tell us about it. I didn't pay. No, but tell us about it.

Oh, okay. Oh, man. Oh, yeah, I didn't pay for. Those are the types of people he hangs out with. And he's not Jesus. He's not trying to help him. He is one of them. Yeah, you know, some of my friends do pornography.

Yeah, great story. All right, man. What did you do? Did you go to Exotica? They were in Exotica. You know some of my friends do a pornography. Yeah great story all right Wait did you do did you go to Exotica they were in Exotica? No, she has she was there and she came into town for a little bit and okay, so yeah, not Should I not have brought it up? No, no, what's not about that? It's just I'm having to flashbacks. We pull in a string of condoms that a rass hold pulling a string of condoms that a rass hold for after he'd erode. So he's like a guy that's clown scarf.

Brown, red, her father's work sock. Is that accurate? Is that happening? Is that happening? Jason's opening up my mind, because this is not at all how I pictured Canadians. I don't know if they'll polite people. You know, he's really weird because he's a really nice guy.

He just happens to paint over the, this is the way he paints over the paint. So that's the way to do it though, because then people see you're like, he's probably crazy. And then you just act kind of nice and like, that guy's amazing. Yeah, right. He said the part of that love, you know. I wasn't raped. He's a gentle. He's a gentle soul. Now Canadians are generally nicer, aren't they? Phil Hanley's very nice. Well he's nice on the, he's like he is good manners. He's not a nice person.

That's what it is. Yeah, that's what Canadians are just doing. Yeah, this is very good to see you, but they don't make little shitty comments to you. We're just talking about Phil. Yeah, pretty boy. He dresses like a pretty boy. Every outfit he has, he looks like a melee ear heart outfit he has he looks like Amelia Earhart You know always annoying they fit him too perfectly, you know I think you just nailed it. That's really what it is with Canadians right there

They're polite they're polite, but their assholes just everybody else. Yeah, they're just polite They're like one of them Christians but the whole country. Yeah They do have like that molested glow all of Like I'm Canadian. Oh, I have a molested glow. No, you wear it You just look molested Yeah, without the glove Sam old it was very nice Sam old you joined the show a month ago what is the same? And you don't even talk. What is it saying? Deep.

Oh, it's really. Totally what happens, Kelly got weeded out by like the third season. I'm like, I'm not sure, because this is always happens every successful show. Well, Bobby, yeah, he really, I don't want to be mean to Kelly. I like Kelly. I was going to make a joke. I'm not going to tell him. Yeah, don't do it.

She's going to come to the nice girl. She's a great girl. Kelly was thinking about it. Yeah, I'm Kelly's hot. Kelly's hot. Super hot. But Lauren is really hot. I was talking to the joke. We don't have to analyze it.

We're trying to be a free spirited fun guy. I'm sorry. You're really hot. Oh, thanks man. You're so powerful. Oh, that's a good thing. You're a real girl. That's a little bullshit.

That's something great. You're married, don't you? Yeah. What's that like, man? It's alright. Is it like having a superpower, but you can't use it? It is. I mean, it is what it is.

What do you do to kind of get that, to get that ego kick off though? I don't know. Do you flirt at all or anything? I flirt, I mean. Do you cheat at all, ever? No, you don't cheat. You wouldn't admit it on the podcast.

I'm trying to get people in trouble here. Tell me about that. Who are you bangin' last time? What was your name? I can't get in trouble. Yeah. I can't because you work for the devil. You can't get me in trouble.

Now you're a Satan worshipper. I don't know. I don't know. What do you think? What's the story behind the teeth? I'm curious. Yeah, is that like permanent? Once your rap album coming out. It's a gold teeth. You just one day, like I'm curious yeah and is that like permanent once your rap album coming out yeah

They're just you just one day with like I'm gonna get them gold yeah black dudes don't even wear them Yeah, yeah, seriously it was like there was like an accident. That's how you got him a place no You could if you came in here and said you had a rap album I would legit believe it and get it and download it immediately because you look like the dopest mother fuck I've ever seen him a fucking like oh no he's Canadian he done yeah He didn't get it I heard that then you hear him go like I'm a built. Are you? Are you devilish? What is a devilish repair? I don't know. He just said you know I don't know they don't have the devilish shit. Oh am I

Oh am I the attention here guys? No, no, I'm just asking Say you can no people he does that's your religion, no? No He does that's your religion no Where is this going I believe in nothing so what is Satanism? What is it? Satan is come on. This is interesting shit How it works is that part of it If Bobby was listening he would call who's the ghost? Who is the ghost? God damn it. I'm really good detective You're honest likes to create these ideas around me and then ask try and get me to perpetuate it

But so you're he's just trying to deflect you mean improv security Do those teeth come out It comes out. Oh, it's a grill. Okay. All right. It comes out. They're not he wasn't born with them Okay, all right. It comes out there. No, he wasn't born with him. So I know But like I don't know if you can get him like put in permanent. You can you can get I was very few people who would do that something I'm pleading ignorance here I don't know anything about them. You have top bottom too, right and diamonds Fuck seem to go seem to go waste of money. How much is the rapper shit right? You know I travel a lot and

Sometimes you're in situations where you need money and if you have gold. So you can suck dick for heroin. You can, don't listen to her. And, you know, gold is international currency, isn't it? Yeah, last time I checked, everyone covered it. Yeah, diamonds too. Why do chicks like jewelry so much? Guys, seriously.

These traditions are so good. I just lost my mind, baby. I personally don't like getting jewelry from guys because I always get like the ugliest shit. So it's just that you don't know. No, no. And like guys don't notice jewelry, you know? Of course not.

I've never seen a girl walking down the street and I was like, yeah, check out the necklace. Is she layering that jewelry? So what is the attractor? They get in the way. Like, whoopi oeans get in the way. What's the, I'm like trying to kiss you. They're hitting me in the face.

It's like I'm being rejected by your freaking jewelry. I hate it. I don't personally wear a lot just because it fucking claustrophobics me. It's like putting Bob wire around a pussy. Yeah. I don't think it's really like it. Alright!

I think we're at a distraction, so it's like, hey, look at my diamond. Oh, so you're trying to make us look up. Yeah. That's what it is. Okay. It's a look. Like reflector. Oh, it's like a peacock kind of thing.

Right. Yeah. Now, what is a girl value more talent or looks? I think it starts with looks. All right, I'll take off Just get in the motion. I give it to the things that I'm telling now man. I know my role is a third mic right now I've a chain D-Poo. He's a lot of time. You know, no, you got let him go Bobby's gonna like what did you do? What Bobby's gonna get you're gonna fucking talk first when the next one starts? I'm deep who I want to go get back in your box Starts with looks and then what kind of talent like bedroom talent? No, no, no, no like yeah like

Yeah, like career Yeah, yeah, tell people because I've noticed like when a guy's on it when when we're on stage It's a lot easier to get laid after you perform a good comedy set girls like funny guys Talent thing right stage musicians get laid. I think she's right. It's a sense of humor But we don't get as much pussy as bands that's not true. No, I think you guys do I do. Yeah, I do you do you look like I get a lot he gets a lot I attract that kind of broken Broken person. Yeah cutters sell farmers This is honest calls all the girls I've dated the cutters Because if you have a good personality

A girl will overlook anything. Yeah, that's awesome Yeah, well personality will get you a you know, that's awesome because we want we won't overlooking at all I know Yeah, you can be the coolest chick, but you know what You know that's awesome because we won't overlook it at all. I know. You could be the coolest shri... You know what? You're like a good friend. Second hand, I'm one of the guys.

I'm not with humor either. I want to bang that bitch over there. That's what we're about. No guys, I got a fuck Melissa McCarthy. Nobody. There's definitely a double standard with humor too. Women, and guys, I think I've seen guys get intimidated with funny women. And they're like, they want to be the funny one.

I think it's talented though. I mean, I think humor can get you in there, but you've definitely gotten more action on stage being funny than you have just being the funny person around, not on stage. Right? Get all you get initial attention, but after somebody's around you and the euphoria of you being on stage kind of dissipates, then the reality of around you and the euphoria of you being on stage kind of dissipates, then the reality of who you really are starts to sit in. It's very interesting because it's all evolutionary based, so I'm curious what's underneath

it all, because at the end of it, it's about making kids, and chicks choose dudes to get the most powerful dude they can get is kind of underneath everything. So I wonder what it is. At the end of the day, it's confidence. And the guy has a lot of confidence. And they're not shy or whatever. The girl's going to like put those MTV 2 Urban's are killing us.

Yeah. The girl's just taking us down. God damn them. What's up? Welcome to Gaku. I am attracted to drive and talent though. If a woman, yeah, I mean, I'm the same way. If she's attracted, that's how I get in.

But like if she's like, oh, I was about to say thank you. If she is, appreciate it. You know what I'm saying. But if she is no drive to do anything with herself and no ambition, I'm odd. Is that what you're attracted to? But that, yes, I've grown a lot in the last year. Is that how you're doing?

The last year, yes. Is that how you're attracted to? But that yes, I've grown a lot in the last year Yes, is that your defining Asians now? You're open might be listening to this honey that was all a dark period in my life honey I've grown a lot okay, that was 2014 It's 2015 now 2016 simoleons let's switch it up again. Let's have some fun. Let's live a little. So you like eat like drive and talent. I'm attracted to it. Yeah. I think I'm with it. As you said, I think you look definitely is like how you notice someone. I mean, there's there's

superficiality to it, but then you get you get in and you're like, all right. Yeah. And deep who you just attracted to anyone who will have you? Uh, pretty much. That's right. All right. I guess right on that. Oh my god our white chicks in the year. Yeah, I mean not it not as much anymore. It's weird It's like are you seasonal? What do you mean like I go white chick sometimes and then I fall out What do you notice like oh sudden you're like getting attention from white girls? Maybe like a couple months and then it kind of fades and it kind of comes back a couple mods and then it kind of fades and then it kind of comes back. I like the weather. Yeah.

I know actually. In February, they want to make their mark for the first two months. That could happen. I get the quota during the summer. I have no play. But for some reason around, as soon as the weather starts to get a little more colder, they come around a little bit. They probably started covering up.

They started coming. They need some rely on. Yeah. Now, like bigger guys in the winter time really you yeah sure Why not you like bigger guys in the winter time? You used to right you use blankets how long you been Two years yeah, is this is so new what does he do for work? 28 you hung the pussy up at 28 wow 20, 20, 20, see is talented who is this guy? Yeah, I guess so he's a corrections officer. Oh, okay next

With that I'm not saying to white women Does he he listen to the show no? Okay, good. You're just saying that cuz he's I mean, this is you know, this is a type of show I think he listen to because his wife's on it and she's with a bunch of dudes Yeah, who talk about pussy all the time. Well, she's still married is because he doesn't listen to it. Yeah, that's true Yeah, we do object by your house It is hard to get like when you're with someone is hard to get past the attention like like he probably sees you're getting Attention on a show like this

Yeah, you know, it's you got to be a strong guy to deal with that Yeah, you do and I mean at the end of the day. It's like what are you gonna do? How long have you been dating before you got married? Five years. That's good. How do you propose to you? He we went we were in Boston and he we were in a park and he proposed me in the park Beautiful boss. Are you guys drinking a beer? I'm not sure. On a park bag?

Like a boss in the back. Almost people. Where was it? What was it? What was it? He did do anything fancy or how do you do it? No, he just got down and then we went out to dinner afterwards.

Got down? Just ate our box for a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get some leave. You just pulled it out. Put it in the leg over my shoulder. Put it in with his tongue. I do make you a good woman. So you came out of nowhere, and you just walking?

It came out of nowhere. I was kind of expecting it to happen. But I wasn't really into the whole wedding thing and planning all that bullshit, so I did a half-ish. Did he ask your dad for permission with the old school You said that on all-fashioned thing are you still supposed to do that? I think you're still supposed to do that Yeah, yeah, I think you supposed to do it. Yes, my brother So okay, now when you date a comic like you

Pretty strange relationships with their parents. How are you going to go about finding her dad? Well played. I'm like, no fun. I'm just stereotyping. I don't know anything about it, but I assume if she's a comedian, something happened. Oh, yeah. Left it.

Left it. Left it. Did I guess right? You did. Oh, you did. Well, I'm going to find him because I, let'm gonna find him because I Let's talk about me cuz I don't want to get in trouble. I'll make fun of myself all day I'm just kidding about isn't that the side of the times no one wants to get into trouble anymore. No, he did this girlfriend This show is not about that this shows

This isn't a PC issue. This is not upsetting someone I love the comments keep around the type of show this show is issue. This is not upsetting someone I love. The comments keep around. The type of show this show is comments are gonna be like, I love that guy sitting over there with the gold mouth. He talks about pulling out a handkerchief thing from a pussy. That's the type of... That's probably happened already. Well, okay, so here's the thing. Who's the new guy and where can I follow? One guy said, no Bobby, peace, and there's a lot of absence. But one interesting thing one interesting some guy just notified me that apparently a three-minute clip from the Lafactory's YouTube page was pulled by Hillary Clinton and her campaign and they actually threatened the Lafactory

Saying that they'll put him out of business if they don't cut the video Now we can't just take this guy's word for it Wait wait, what was the video? Yeah, I don't he didn't send me a link to the video Oh, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, So it's got a good chance. He's got his pulse on Paul Sonna. Yeah, he's reading Vox every day Vice from a bathroom graffiti. Yeah, how many people pulled because Bobby wasn't here? Just one I think just good. Yeah, fuck that guy. Yeah Fucking cock sucker. Yeah, it wasn't yeah. Yeah, it was probably Jolus. Anyway, just coming in Lewis and Jolus are they on a lot a lot more know we did the live show recently Yeah, we had every live show. Well, they do the wrong thing now right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Luest is on Anthony's network

Yeah, and Joe Lister's like the phrasier this podcast And what would Lewis be cuz he got like a podcasts who was on something and then started like eight shows Matt LeBlanc, that's all going nowhere I was ex-Lewis. I love you. That was excellent. No, he's doing great. I'm leading the skeleton man. He's crushing it And he just got a MMA podcast. Yeah, I'm not pocket. No, no, no, no, I'm sorry. He got a radio show on. It's a serious. That's huge. Now when did you come in post-Lewis?

Close Louis the animal steal? I was like Dan and Joe's last episode. And then wow. And it's a new era now. Yeah, the new era. And then when did the fat Greek come in? Stop for a second. I thought that was like the new joke for you. The fat Greek. The for us. That was like the new joke to you. I like that he looks exactly like

like Larry. That is great. It's like Dr. Evil and Mini me walking around. He's hilarious. He's really funny. Because I was away for a little while. I was in Miami. So when did he come in? So, and then, yeah. Let's talk about that. Yeah, yeah. So, when did he come in? He just moved to New York recently, so I think in the past month or two, so he's gonna be on here and there, so.

And Scopus is allowed to be on a mic now. Yeah. What are you guys doing? You guys are moving up in the world. Scopus has been slowly been pushed out. Is he? That's how you feel? It seems like that.

The last time he was here, he wasn't even at the table. He was on the couch with some like shitty third party microphone. Bob, he's gonna listen to this. Oh boy. He's slowly, oh my god. That was the naked stuff. This podcast is going downhill. What's going on over here? I've had it off, Jesus.

Yeah. What is this like a dead fetus right here? What is this one? Did you think really when you saw his head that there was not gonna be one tattoo on that one? I'm not surprised. Jesus. You're telling me. I'm shocked at what is this here. That's how he feels inside. Alien pills. It looks like a cut up body though.

It looks kind of broken off. It's just a poke jump hole. Yeah. This is a hip-a-crap. This is the bite mark on the head of my cock from last night. You never get a blowjob from a girl on mushrooms. She was on mushrooms. That's excuse that she never tried horse tranquilizers.

Yeah, I can't. Can't I? Yeah. What's that like? That's okay. I was at a party in London, and they put down some lines. I thought it was blow. And then when I did it, you just become catatonic.

You just kind of slumped over and you're becoming like a prisoner in your own body. Nice. Sounds fun. It is kind of interesting because there's no panic or anything. Of course, you do too much of anything. You can ruin it for yourself. But you just become this kind of like like you become detached from your body. Yeah. I just picked up chain smoking. I'm really into it.

Smoking cigarettes. Yeah. How much chain smoking? How much is that? Yeah. Can we smoke in here? No. No. How are you smoking? And now I smoke again. I'm really upset. I thought I we think about getting back on I was never like a hard cause I was like a smoke when I drink type of guy But like the winter always makes me want to smoke in New York There's someone with the winter here and then I'll wake up and I'm like, you know, it is smoking so fucking great It is. Are you smoking again? No, I see you were back for a while. Yeah, I got that fucking trucker called Monday or his lip

No, I see your lip It's not gonna roll it up. Yeah, nothing else. Let's see those gums. Yeah, those will be receding back to your pussy Guys, I'm scared straight right That's a teenager cornered in the cell are you gonna steal talking bars? I will rape you What do you think about ISIS huh? Well wolf I think that I should leave. I hear the name they hate being called like Dates or something. Dates? Dates? Dates? I'm going to put out the video here about that. No. Tapu, what is, I'm kidding. Oh, no, but there's a name they hate being called. I think it's spelled D-A-E-S-H, and it's because it means

like, it's something they used to be called, which is hilarious, that like ISIS has these like, secure insecurity thing. That's like, that's my old band, man. Like, new band. Sell records now. Contact it for a favorite. It has some like demeaning meaning,

like, it's something that they just don't like but uh... either i mean what is isis mean it's uh... the islamic state of uh... uh... of uh... serious and uh... something now is it like is that their real name to be given some because it well i wouldn't think they would come up with an acronym that was uh... in english well i think they don't really like my i think i think i think it's a

what the i don't they don't like it because they don't think of themselves as being bound to state. I don't think they want to keep spreading. Yeah. So I think that diminishes. So I don't think they like the name. I got it. You got to go. Did you go? Yeah, I got it. I was I was I was just I couldn't do wrong, but I'm pretty sure they might be their name, but I think you know you're shit. Your family talks about it every night Are you guys scared or who they hate us all though? They don't just hate the Jews they hate us all. Yeah, I think anybody Should we let the steering refugees in guys? I'm gonna go to the experts First up lord I know nothing

But you have no problem meeting you like a lot of sex. Oh, yeah, no I got like because I was only on one show with you B.J. and I was wanted to get to that question. I'm glad we saw Syria It was all distracted you know what you never answered that question So we're gonna do the B.J. story the question. Yeah parking lot parking lot at the steak house Yes B.J. Yeah, I got a Parking lot at the steak house. Yes. BJ. I got a lot of BJ stories. And you got a lot of them in a short amount of time.

I know. 26 is when you hung it up. I know. But you got a lot in it. A little wild. Yeah. My head is so small. Is that because your generation, it's a lot more open.

You think? I think so. And also in high school, we didn't really have cell phones. So we would do. Wait, you're 20. She's 28. 28. We had cell phones. It wasn't like we didn't really have cell phones, so we would like do you wait your 20 to 28 We had cell phones. It wasn't like we had Facebook or anything. She's a dial up the dial up world a little bit No, no 28 phone You like well you mode them like if you were getting on online you had a dial up right yeah, that's what I'm saying

So it's so you do am 26 is like Yeah, so it's a different it's a different mindset. It's right at the end of that era Wait, so she would be your 87. I'm 86. 86. Yeah, I'm 86 too There goes. Yeah, so we shouldn't have put that in podcast one day that's gonna mean something One day you're gonna want to lie about that She wants to be a comic. What? I want to be a comic. Let's get into it.

Let it happen. Let it happen. Let it happen. Let it happen. Let it happen. Stop hiding, Lauren. How fucking impure is this scene? Like, but-

I just- Now when Bobby yells at everybody, I understand why. Shut the fuck, it just feels like you want to tell someone what to do. I feel so uncomfortable in this area because you're intoxicated by this chair. Yes, I want to burn you You'd be the first one to go because nobody would miss you So we're in the parking lot I'm gonna try and get through the social I'll be the guy you be you all right very Bobby like you were

I'll be the guy you be you. All right. Very Bobby like you were a star football player. Nice. Quarterback talent. My name Blake. That way what was his name? Devon. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Devon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at a more accurate football story. His name was Devon. Yeah, mobile. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was like, girl, I was like, I was like, you know what's up this dick? What's that? I was like, I wanna be offended, but I can't do this. I was offended by how bad you were. You're about to.

I was like, I was like, I'm bad. I just said the same. I mean, what's good, what's good? What's good? Hey. Yo Ma, what's up? Yo Ma, what's up? Let's go with the lips though.

What's good? Did he always say at the end of the day? You know what? He can be the football player. No, I like what you're doing. I'm just trying to help. I'm just trying to help. What you have to. I'm just like, I'm just, no. You have a fly.

I'm like, oh, cool, cool. Cool, hey, hey, hey, we're so happy. I'll be your agent when it's time for that. When you need me, I'll be your agent. I could have heard the same old saying. Always papers and, uh, oh, oh, can I play this on a sand? Yeah. I'll show you guys in the car while you're sucking them off.

Take us. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so yeah, we at this, we at the steakhouse, you know, man car while you're sucking them off All right, so yeah, we at this we at the steakhouse, you know, man I can get right That's not true. I mean I Think you're attractive. Everyone says like you're hot. No, no, no, just like what you're like get out my my tight But wow, no disrespect no disrespect No disrespect. Oh, so this respect. Oh, but I don't get it all by the way. No disrespect. No disrespect. No disrespect.

No disrespect. But I don't find you attractive at all. I mean, not even a little bit. No disrespect. That's how you play, though. You do the reverse psychology thing, you know, like that. The boy you say, come on, oh, you're like, you're fucking gross. Wait a second.

That kind of might have something interesting about him. Exactly. That's the thing. Right now, you're fucking now. He just moved to the front of the line. Totally. Because he doesn't want you. Now, you fucking want him to want you. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna work for now

Hey, my man. My name is the bond fun fact So okay, I'll let me get that ride so it's up. Oh, you want this ride? Yeah, why don't you? Why don't you hop on this why don't you hop on this on this quarterback? Why don't you hop on this dick?? I gotta go home, I gotta go to the Caribbean. Why don't you hop on this dick? You know, the whole town, the whole town. The whole town. The whole town. You're just looking to meet a win this game

against state tomorrow and I don't play that well unless I get the milk out. Are you taking Becky? I am dating Becky. I'm fuck Becky. He fuck. I'm the quarterback. I date everybody.

And you know I, but you know you. You love me, don't'm the quarterback. I date everybody. You know that. And you know I bet you know you're the you're the you love me. Becky. I'm a piece of trouble of linebacker. He's gonna do eyes. I lead over. Shut up. He's small town like the small town college scenes. I just went through a game at Mizzou. Oh boy.

And this I mean before. Yeah, before they say yeah. And it's hilarious. It's where the people dress up like all these little like Midwestern kids and their like Polo shirts tucked in a khaki shorts. They're adorable. You know, it's great. Like Nate, they dress like they find out a little bit.

Yeah. They go dress out like I'm going out for the evening. They have like a Vanderbilt golf shirt off. Right. I'm going to the club. Little kids with like all clubs on, you know. Like I'm trying to get my number down here. So yeah, Becky was her name?

Alright, yeah, I thought you were dating Becky. I was dating Becky. Becky's a pig. Well, the problem was, I didn't think you liked me. No, just go. That quick! Damn it, I was like, his name is off. I was like, his name is off.

I was like, his name is off. I was like, if you would choke on his dick, That carpenters thumb with no nail on it. I don't know, Rico. That's gross. And it never gets warmed. I got a decent hammer. Oh yeah? Yeah.

How's yours? Pretty good. Is yours good? Pretty good. But still good. For the am swinging, I'm not swinging crazy, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm good out here. You know, I hate when people say like they get like, you know, they talk about like, oh, that's it's a stereotype where it's cheap to talk about black dudes penises.

I played basketball. Now here's the deal. And I, one of my best friends growing up was black, dude. This week I'm on awe. Here's the fucking deal. Here's the fucking true deal. You can say whatever you want, like, oh, fucking, it's a stereotype or whatever. Fucking not. The's I saw. Their penises were so big, it was like a cartoon. Why is white American guy so obsessed with black dick?

No, I'm just, that's all we had for a moment. Have you ever seen one? I don't like it. We just had a big dick, then we got some rights, and everything was all right. I think it's like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, It's such a good thing though. Yeah.

It's such a good fucking thing. Yeah, it's such a good fucking thing Is it yes? Actually, you ever you ever have a You could have to I'm not too much. You don't have too much. You want to have just enough like I had to break up And I was like I can't deal with this black guy. No god damn it. I think Wilson's I, white guys got big dicks too. But the thing is, the black ones that I saw, were like, it was just a few in the locker room. Just like, where are you, the fuck?

I'm sure it's the pictures you took on. You fucking half a queer. This is the honest one in high school, this was the 70s. Did you play basketball? I did, yeah. You have any black friends? Oh, fear, yeah. And any of them have big horns.

Yeah, they were pretty big. Yeah, yeah. So it's a thing, yeah. It's just a thing. If you you just like, if you're watching porn and you see the black guys, not everybody's like that. Right. No, but we're all, but here's a, here's a, here's a, you can tell them.

When it is, it's fucking big. But here's a, you can tell it's like, it's like, what the fuck? It's like, what the fuck? In green in your head though, cause if you're watching porn, you see a black guy with a little dick, you're like, what the fuck is that, you know?

Exactly. And you don't really do that with white guys, so. You know what, that's probably where the stereotypes fucked up is like that That's when it becomes fucked up because if you're not a dude with like a huge dick Everyone's got a big dick man. Yeah, right right right you got a you got a scale by the average I got a natural fish. I remember this Student on a used basketball team American University He used to walk You play college team American University He used to walk

College ball. I was tried to walk on so I never he's in the gun of fucking court with roller blades I was I tried to look I had my I had my little time. I wasn't good enough You know, but he used to walk around in like flip flops with like a towel and just like you know That's not a thing with the towel, But he would like walk around naked on purpose, just the fucking. And it was just like, but you guys all do that. You swing your dicks around. Dude, I can't swing my dick around. Yeah, I can't swing it. It's got to be like half a chub for me to be able to do a helicopter. I need half a chub for a helicopter. Otherwise, it's just like a, if you do the helicopter, laugh if you do the helicopter. The helicopter's your-

I'm the one time my ex-girl was like laying on my lap once and I was just naked and I just kind of like jokingly slapping her in the cheek with my penis. And then all of a sudden I whipped the two hard and hit her in the eye. She just lost it crying. And I couldn't stop laughing because this is just a funny image. You met her that girl and uh- That happened to be the girl that she was a good girl. Yeah. Pink guy because it was shit on my cock that's i really wish she didn't all i really wish she didn't all stand that ending

i was happy with that one but that happened when she was fine we laughed about it about thirty seconds later we thought that as a punch on her just a fact all right so i you really do that? Yeah, she covered cock. Yeah, she covered cock. They call me the log father. She's the second. Is that your two-part album coming out?

Shit on my cock, the log father. The log father, colonch. That sounds like one of those bad David Zucker parody movies. You know the log father. It's like just a shit version of Godfather. How come my big Frank Rieck wedding never just a shit version of gosh How come my big Frank Greek wedding never had a porn version? Nobody ever did my big Now it's just you fat Greeks fuck a lot. There's a fetish for everything. Yeah, there's a fetish for everything

Yeah, what what kind of women are you are you in new if it's like a weird fetish? Good come into my girlfriend He don't want to talk about it now? I'm honest her tampon shot over my foot. I love my girlfriend didn't that's about it Are you dating a college? No, no, no, you don't take comics. You don't do that. Oh Come from you better not do it and you embrace it with all the criticism you better hope you guys stay right about here I'll show show fly away But it's a power for who's funnier. No, no funnier. You will not tear us apart with your little game Enjoy it bro enjoy it while last

Boy how long do you think you're a relationship's gonna last? Boy how long do you think your relationships gonna last? There he is How long do I think it's gonna left forever? You think it's gonna last forever. Yeah, she's only 20 years younger. You guys get it It's gonna last till she's 15 I got 14 years on her wow, that's not bad. Is that bad? No. Girls like older guys. Yeah, daddies Called daddies. Is that what they called? Oh, is your guy older? No, no, I gotta But Dilphs are really big in that right now. Daddy's We gotta go to Dils of Disneyland. What is this like?

It's bunch of daddies hold hold with like, we I like the way she says dad. Yeah, every time. Yeah, cuz you're gonna say dad, she goes daddy. You got your daddy's? You got your daddy's? Oh, you got to say that around black guys. We're going to roll over here. I'm ready. Who's your daddy?

I'm the ex. By the end of this episode, you're gonna love it. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Is it because of the seven shades of gray? Is that what caused like all women to be into like my last year older dudes? Yes. Seven is that what that is about?

It's 50 shades. 50 all. That movie sucks. It was a hot fall. Fucking movie sucks. I didn't even, the worst. Yeah. I don't even look at it.

Yeah, chicks didn't even like it. No. The book is, woo. Oh, the Gilbert Godfrey weed is fantastic. You heard that? No. It's a real thing. Oh yeah, Gilbert Godfrey weed's,

that's crazy. Oh, it's fucking hilarious. That's, that does sound fun. It's so great that's one of these and I heard of it it was that was three years ago or something like that wasn't it? Yeah yeah it's been out for a while. Now what is it about um about the Sadomasicism that's hot? I don't know I think because it's not talked about a lot so the way they portrayed it is really, really hot. Is that what it is? Is it an SNM ball?

Yeah, is it? Do you like when a guy takes control like that? Hold on, let me make a hug. Do you like a shit-covered hug? I said I could tell a man. You can talk with gender roles on the wall. But I still think there is something that he said for when a guy is kind of dominant in that way. I think women are still turned on by that. 100%. Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

Espectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Bolotea. Tarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en bolotea.com. You don't want like a feminist guy in the bedroom. I dress up like Pat Buchanan. But as soon as the sex is over, you want to soften. Is that true?

What is this, Dr. Phil? I'm fascinated. I'm a confident guy in the bedroom. Nice guy, funny guy. Don't get on my shit and leave me alone. Oh, it's something that somebody doesn't exist. Yeah, exactly. You want your space also, like anyone does.

Of course, yeah. Yeah, you don't want a smothering guy. There's nothing worse than a guy who's like, where are you? Yeah, that's where that talent and career comes into play. Because if you had that career going on, then you got shit to do. You're not home. You're not home. I am home. But also it's hard cuz like we're in our heads all day

I mean it's like that comic you're in your head all day. It's easy to get depressed that way It's easy to give in a negativity. Yeah, so you just yeah, you gotta stay as you say you gotta stay active You gotta stay active Are you not are we finding out something about you right now, sir? Are we finding out something about you right now, Sam? Are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are on him. Unfortunate. On his fifth beer. Already. No one's fucked up. Small for the camera. Yeah. Show Daddy the pain. Yeah. Daddy. That's the name of this episode. They're gonna be daddy. Daddy. Oh, daddy. I don't like being called daddy though. What do you like? What are you like? What are you like?

Uncle? Oh, like Master. What do you like? Been yeah, master would be good. Saddle massacres him. Now that's just that's just a normal little romp in the sack for you. No. That was a creepy thing It's not answering make a smile of gold tea. That was like a fucking bon villain next to me. Are you a you and you that?

I'm in love No I am you want me to play a little boys to men song why you speak I like I would be in control in the bedroom and a few of those situations oh yeah chick took control you and you don't like it no no was the question that was just she was a little more like a punching and shit like that I don't like girl and then you get a freaky girl like what the fuck I'm just like maybe a blow job

I don't like talk dirty. I the only I'm gonna long just relationship so like during sexual say stuff like move here She's in a license yeah yeah she's funny you're you're yes she's funny man yeah she is she really is funny yeah yeah yeah man put you off everything any minute you feel some joy you're honest we like why do you do that yeah it was being he was being it was being nice it was encouraging you girlfriend Manolis is hilarious as well. Manolis? Yeah.

It's a big, so for every person, he had a crush on for years. That was an inside joke. Anyhow, she is really fine. Great for that. We did great. Well, well, big fans over. Danny, Danny. Danny.

See, I have a little daughter. Now, how dangerous is your husband's job Does that fucking turn you on knowing that you know seriously you got to have that's this a little fetishized Yeah, it's a little fucking fetishized totally like that turned you on at the beginning didn't you? Yeah, no over it. Is he ever proper you like a uniform? Yeah, yeah, like like state trooper type Really is he built is he like a big dude you gotta be right after He time when he gets on top you you cannot see any of you Is he an Italian dude?

From Boston oh He's and you tell me he doesn't listen to this show Fuckin Bobby tell my say Aggravate somebody that could potentially come to our homes and kill us in our sleep here Think I'm not attracted to his wife at all Thank God I'm not attracted to his wife at all No! Yeah, yeah, me neither, me neither, no disrespect No disrespect, yeah

No disrespect, yeah No, I'm with you I will force myself not to be attracted to, for my own safety That's what women just say to bars, you just say like your boyfriend's scary job To get guys go away, right? Yeah Like you're going to go to the corrections office, I'll be right That's not a scary job

That's not a scary job That's not a correct dude, it's a correct dude Maybe not in Canada there's no one in the koudi what are you guys have crimes or racism jesus koudi ready for your meal

it's open dorms so they're not locked up he's just him and like 60 and me they serve you Tim Hortons and Canadian prison now does he do maximum security yeah that's not a scary job dude you know tough those guys aren't Americans and Canadian prison. Now does he do maximum security? Yeah. That's not a scary job, dude. You know tough those guys are, corrections officers. Yeah.

So how could you do that? So where are the pants? Well, it would be a scary job to you, you know, ISIS like a being a terrorist out of the aquarium. Because that's a scary job. My boyfriend's a terrorist. Honey, I had a long day'm a gay I'm a gay I'm a honey I had a long day

blew up about 15 kids I'm a honey for me musical theater let me watch the game okay at a tough day fucking blew up a bus stop that would actually be a fucking funny

that's a sketch that's great that was great that was great Sam no? I need your approval you're a good joke right now thank you

say what's no part you're good joke. What do you think? Say what's no part? Just look you're like I'm not with you. So I'm at five coffees. I got not I don't sleep you were thinking about bath new relationship No, I was thinking about nothing. That's that's my brain. I'm just a face. Huh. All right. Why don't you do the read? Yeah Oh, let me take a quick break first before we do that. What do you fucking call the shots now? Can we bro a bit? You want to take a sick break couple minutes? We could just do the show that I'm gonna Kick up the energy They're jokes Like I'm hurting his feelings

Good time. Are yeah, I don't know where you keep looking at me. Well, are you hosting this? We're having a great time Great time. I've been a long time. I haven't been in a while. I am a great time. You are. It's so different. So wait, why are we taking a break? I got to just reset one little thing.

Did you fuck up? No, no, no, we're not. Give me the whip. Give me the fucking Bobby's whip. Give me Bobby's fucking whip. I actually, and why you were in a cricket shirt? My dad gave it to me. I actually liked the shirt.

That would be how I'm being sucked. My dad gave it to me and he died. And I've been like my dad gave it to me he died and I've been like oh right haha all right if you're listening live we'll be back in two minutes right after this hey guys did you know that there was still plenty of football to be played this season shut up yeah get out absolutely but it already feels like the playoffs at draft kings dot com were millionaires are being crowned all season long. Guys, they're just giving money away.

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you know your friends and stuff like that it's great that's the beauty of one week fantasy at draft kings you know no commitments so if you got commitment issues I do you play for one week that's awesome yeah even if you don't like football you like money right yeah sure yeah love it so play draft it Challenge friends in a custom league or join an existing one with strangers. Love strangers. Yeah, play for your share of millions of dollars in prizes. Who doesn't like millions of dollars in prizes? Daddy's do.

Daddy's. They're paid, the guys millions of dollars in prizes are being paid out each week. Can you believe that? They're giving money away. That sounds great. That's amazing. They are giving money away. With so much money up for grabs,

every game is a big game, Sam. There's no small game. There's a lot of money on it. So, you know, it's not for everybody, but if you're good at it, you'll make money. You're gonna win a lot of money on DraftKings.com. Are you crazy? Hey, put it this way. You want to make a P to make a pistons timber wolves game exciting? Put some fucking money on it. Draftkicks! Renew old rivalries or create new ones by playing head to head. Play with friends, co-workers, and fantasy players from across the nation. How about that? You want to meet someone in Hawaii? Fucking win his money.

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hey kelly i like that and play for free with your free first deposit in sundays million dollar fantasy football contest first place takes home a hundred thousand dollars what what i'm a hundred grand oh my god like a hundred thousand dollars what what I'm a hundred grand oh my god like a hundred one hundred grand again enter Kelly for free entry now only a draft it kings dot com let's draft kings dot com that is draft kings dot com Tell it that was great. We're not great. Yeah Fan dual I've done and I was winning it last year Now I do draft you got a draft king you do draft. I've heard it's better. Yeah, I've been done it yet I'm just waiting right now to for league to start

They should do a YKWD Deep Bobby I guess I'm in charge cuz that's that's involves technology Dude I heard that I guess we shouldn't shit on draft Kings right after the read we're not shit. No, we're not Well, I was gonna shit on it. So I mean why would you do you do that well that's why you're so you have a John Oliver did a whole segment on it it was like they fucking broke it down but they're also not keeping his show afloat yeah I didn't use a promo code Kelly I mean what are we doing maybe he didn't use promo code Kelly at giraffe king dot com that's how it sounds that's how it's gonna make a hundred100,000. $100,000 guys.

That show might be like the best show on TV right now. It's crazy good. My favorite show. It is crazy good. It is really, really good. I think they got the digital space down perfectly. Like if you don't have HBO, they put all the bits up on YouTube. Right.

So you can still be a part of watching it, even though you don't have it. And that's what keeps it relevant. And you gotta give John Oliver credit that he can do those like, what is it? 18-minute rants? Oh, I mean. Beautiful getting boring. They're just like you know the crowd helps them out a little bit Yeah, they kind of carry him it does but he carries it He's like smart. He's funny. He's yeah, and as you said him

He definitely knows that we to telepromp you like a new man I I remember when John got the show and I was a little worried and when the new the new late show. Yeah. The new uh tonight show. Not the tonight show. The uh cobe. Yeah cobe. He's been great man. His show was really good. If you haven't seen it, it's really fuck cobe. Yeah cobe. Yeah cobe. I love it. You see the clip of him in Del Mar. The other is no. He's doing like a mix of his old show kind of. He but he's being some serious. He's doing like a mix of his old show kind of But he's being some serious being very with who he really is Which is it's kind of cool that he's still that funny and his ratings are good. I think right? Yeah, I don't know He's the only what are you smoking about?

What you don't like you don't laugh. I got like five minutes ago A little vein you were you were really happy about it. I haven't He's reminiscing on the pop he got like five minutes ago I'm just so proud I get to say shit. It's finally happening. I'm saying stuff This is your big break, yeah, I don't want to tell you but this is your Montreal I'm enjoying how it's going, so... No, this is a great opportunity for you, man. Bobby's good to you guys now.

Bobby's great, but you should go a little more. Wanna see some chestnuts? Take fashion advice from him. That's the idea. Put some metal on your teeth. Now, where are you, Indian or Pakistani? Indian, full blown. Full blown Indian. You got a lot of role models ISIS full blown

You got a lot of role models Right, oh, we have Cal Penn Russell Peters. Yeah, I Want to say role model for him. He's you know, he's a guy doing it You said you wanted to fuck a ZZ's No, every week on this podcast I have to be be asked, like, oh, who would you fuck? And I have to give some joky answers. So one week I said a ZZ's, I'm sorry. I don't want to fuck him.

I gotta just say, well, where is fucking on the bitter? Was that one a little bitter? Every fucking weekend, I gotta do something. So I just fucking throw it out. I hear his master in the show is great. I heard it was pretty good too. I haven't seen him.

You haven't watched anyone? I haven't seen it yet. I've seen the first two, and it's pretty, the first two, it's pretty good, but it's slower than I thought it was pretty good too. You haven't seen it. You haven't watched anyone? I haven't seen it yet I think it's I've seen like the first two and it's pretty the first two It's pretty good, but it's slower than I thought it would be that makes it like that though I like those I like a slow Dramady type show guys wait. I want to find out about this. Yeah, Russell Peters. Love him love Russell Peter Well, I mean that first special that pops that was like that one viral. Yeah, I was like I was I downloaded that on because I was obsessed with it Yeah, it was like a big deal to see like an Indian guy doing just like

Indian stuff not and he does he talked about a lot a lot of different stuff He was funny a lot different ways, but the family stuff was really funny. Absolutely. It was on point It was like your guys big-facook wedding cuz that for Greeks that was for us That was it that was for us that was like oh we didn't I don't I don't think anyone who wasn't Greek didn't see them We'll be I think Greek saw it like a hundred times That's why I made so much money. Yeah, I got a fun muscle Peter's I got a fun muscle Peter's anecdote Do it I was one night here. He a wall my stage. You ate my falafel and he just couldn't help himself Yeah, he couldn't help himself like a greedy no I don't know but I

I get off stage and he's like he's I'm so sorry. I couldn't help myself. I hate your falafel balls And I was I just kind of like fake. I was like you mother fucker and he was like I am so sorry I have a place in California. It's a mansion. You could stay there whenever you want and I was like and he was terrified That was really furious. I just wanted to brag about it. Yeah, yeah He's friends he's friends Russell. He gave me his email and I lost it. Yeah, but he's friends with Russell. He gave me his email and I lost it. I could have had a mansion to stay in.

That's your fault, dude. Shouldn't have fucked up. That was when you were drinking? Now I was just lazy. You were an interesting drinker. You're in Malibu. Was I? All my friends, interesting drinkers.

Woof, you were fun. You too, you were a fun drinker. I don't get it. I didn't go all the way. You do. yeah my buddy's close buddies soda or list those guys They hung up they hung up their their the spurs. Yeah, but in their day Nate Bargazzi hung up his first I told I told it down. I still have fun But I you know I got to get shit done. Yeah, you don't have the problem But when but when you go in oh, I in to win. I remember one night you put me in

a cab and like four, you had a few too many. And that was a double whammy because you had just gotten broken up with by that girl. So you threw a couple of let's say pejoratives that's strange. That's a couple strangers. Yeah. We could leave it at that. Leave it at that. And it was out of left field too. We're having a great combo. There was some people over there.

He just like, fuck it. He just fucking assaulted people verbally. You know, really? Well, the thing is like, you know, I was like, okay, I've been told this. You don't want to drink to get you out of a funk. You drink to celebrate or to, you know, you don't drink to be like this.

He was just doing it way wrong. He drinks to feel. I think it's my hand stop, she. I just picture with a flask and a shovel. Hooker blood and a smile. Absolutely. I like that. I like to drink alone. I think it's fun to drink alone, sometimes. You're 28, though. What What kind of what are you drinking? I know wine beer. You're not holding a devil problem yet. And drinking alone she might not have a problem. She might just enjoy a cocktail. I was a mess. Where are you? You got it out of your system? Yeah, yeah.

That's how. That is your husband. You have a problem with you talking about all your previous ex-blocks. I don't fucking know. You don't know. You don't ask. Does he listen to us? That is your husband have a problem with you talking about all your previous exploits You don't know you don't ask he does he listen to no square does he know that he's trying to be diplomatic I think no does he know that you want to do comedy though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, and he's down with that Yes, oh, oh problem paradise there. I guess so What do we always talk to be supportive in the initial stages? You know, when you don't, when it's an unknown, where you're like, I remember when you're like brand new,

and you're like, Oh, I can't make the family dinner because I'm doing a fucking Maui Taco open mic. That's how like really, they don't understand. It's like, that's part of what the foundation you have to lay. They don't know it's a career. They think you're like trying to do plays. I think the phase or something. Yeah, I think you're like going to join the circus or Clown, but you can but if you have to have that drive and especially in the early years when you have to hang out And you know

You get to where you start making Sam a real money you fucking crushing it Well fucking cross I'm saying but you get to you get to at least pick your spot times a little more at things going on Like you know in the early stages you kind of have to just you had everyone's mercy Yeah, everything but then like a little later on it's like you get a set time It's just easier to have a life. Yeah, you start up the comic strip. No, yeah, you still like that place I've a very mixed relationship, you know, because I started Great. How is that not the best room and when it's full?

White is full. I've had I've had so many mixed nights there you know I've had some of the best nights in my life there and some of the worst nights in my life there and and Joe Mac and they put us through the ringer man because we were just oh hey guys We were a new guy We would wait around for like three hours in the early stages to do a spot there late nights Yeah, and and this is when they had two sides of late night. Yeah, so there was a side that was Quote and Quote pass for the club these guys had never worked the club and they would get to just pass us They would get to just like bump us so someone like you know

They'd have guys who should not have been able to bump us. We'd be waiting three hours They'd walk in at like 1058 At the last second to bump us and then and they would walk the room. So it was in fury Yeah, I remember I remember, it was your night. I remember. So it beat us down, but and also we'd be, at least we thought we were killing harder than people on the lineup and they wouldn't pass us for the club.

And that's and but at the same time, that's what makes you better. Is that make you better? Makes you better. But then it also makes you realize, hey, this isn't really about the funny, this is about them fucking shoveling people into those seats.

Yeah, so yeah. Yeah, so as I said, it's mixed. Because it fuels you either get better, you get better, you know. And Mac, he was there for me. You have to have the chip on your shoulder a little bit, right? A little bit, right? Anger can make you, and Mac, we're lucky we had each other.

And that's it, because we were there bouncing beds every night. I remember Mike D. Stefano, like one of the nights, he trashed someone, but he's like, I like you too. You guys shut your mouth, you bounce bits, and you keep to yourself. But we're in the weird couple, then, but. Fucking like, I like you two. You guys shut your mouth, you bounce bits, and you keep to yourself. But weird is a weird problem then, but. Oh, fucking great was here.

He was a great guy. He was a great comic. Great comic, great guy. Now, Ralph, you've, for the people who don't know who this guy is. You've been doing comic long time. You're gonna shame my name now. I'm not shaming you.

I was about to compliment you. All right, what do you got? No. What do you got? How have I been shaming your name? I want to know how I've been shaming your name. compliment you all right what do you got no how do i i want to know how to show me your name to these people don't know me like you know me how might be shame your name

rouse has been uh... you've been doing comedy for a while he's uh... he you know he was top of the scene in common you rose all the way to the top in canada then you went to england crushed in eng, and then you have traveled all around the world doing comedy. And now he operates a tattoo parlour. Do you...

The nod up agreement. Oh, the good one! Yeah, that wasn't bad. He just didn't like it. Oh, hold it. It's a nice band down there. This park has really no feelings. I don't know if you heard me on the intro. There's no rules. This podcast can be pretty brutal. So are you hurt?

I'm a timid little girl. They're red riding hard. Deep down you are. That's why you had to paint over it. Pain over the pain. Pain over the pain. No, seriously, you've been very successful as I've done for a long time. I've done more than everybody in this room. You've been, you have, you've been all over, you've done a lot of TV. Now you're trying, now you're coming to America. I've been living in America since 2007. Right.

Yeah. Well, we didn't hear about it yet. So, I don't mean, I mean, I heard a few of you that he's done way more than me. I've never buried a stiletto ever. I'm so to feel he's done he's done way more than me I've never buried a stiletto ever Why you hold the bin a throw back over it is fucking tatted up ass Give it a deep who got there Just for fucking being deep who.

So rune is nice. Wrap it around the top of your head. Look at him. He's still smoking about a lap. He got 20 minutes to go. It's a big day for me. There you go. I'm so happy you're on, Janice.

Where are that so the people know what you really stand for? Oh, wow. There you go. Is that a good look? Oliock Bar. God, say it. Say it. I've been hearing about the legend on the honest,

the day I started comedy. Since the day I started comedy. The legend? The legend. Wait, let's hear more about this. Oh yeah, I hear stories about how you do shows for like four hours and then punch a woman in the face. Yeah.

That's over here. That's right. That's my biggest fucking accomplishment. He's punching two people in the face at a bar in Brooklyn. That's what I'm gonna be known for when it's all said and done. What happened that night? I still don't know. We told that story so many times. Oh really? I never mind them.

I wasn't a fan of the podcast by that point. You really making yourself attractive for when Bobby's gonna come back with the Deepo stick. Tie you up pull pull Yeah, no, I am so that was where'd you hear that story Is that when you young comics when you get around talk about yeah, I was a beaten women yeah, yeah Maybe the I'm not not not school is cool. I'm maybe the young I was just being a real dude man. He looks really cares about women's rights with that Head on his foot right now. Well, I was doing a lot of Mike's and Park slope And I know guys like Bryson Turner like some lost in the on yeah, no it was I was

Bryson Turner doing what happened that he kind of disappeared as far as I know he was a good guy Yeah, he kind of fell back. He opened up like Experimental space for like artists whatnot And he just like he got married and I don't think it's gonna stand up anymore, but like Comic-bide was like hey Bryson like how you doing you doing comment anymore? He's like man, I'm just happy People I'm not happy for him Yeah, I think like fuck He found a key to Shay

Yo, cuz I I went to look at a member Taylor catch catch him Still around no not Taylor catch. Oh Taylor Clark. No fuck. What's this god damn it? For god's name, we're gonna talk about it and then you He's played time Square Arts Center a lot Like dude. Oh, wait, shit. Well, anyway, he quit comedy. And, uh, he just quit. He was like, I'm done.

Yeah. And I went to his Facebook page recently. He's like doing, like, this personal training and stuff. And he just looks so happy. Because he's like, how fincham? How fincham? Yes! How fincham?

He looks so happy. Have you gotten to his Facebook page? No. Go to his Facebook page. He's avoiding it. He's got a everywhere that looks happy. He just has his glow about him. He's just like, he's probably sleeping regular hours, you know? Something about the grind of a comic

and then a thrown New York city on top of that. Well, it's like how difficult a city this is where it's like high-end prices. The way I see it. My friends got his balls out. That's great. That's his closer. YouTube got a lot of that.

I'm not looking. But everything about New York that makes it such a dream and comedy, and you're like, it drains you. That's all that it does. It's actually been on from here too. There was a huge turnover recently. In the past year, there was a span where I was doing the mics with the same people for like four years. And then a bunch just dropped off or got something and then like.

That'll happen. Yeah, you about to drop off, man. The agent came to you, man. You've done. Yeah, I do modeling now. That's so real. No. Oh, he's like, Jesus.

Look at his face, bro. How funny is that? You would be great for standing for his ears. No, but he was probably really wanted to see you because, because of, yeah, she literally asked me She was like are you are you on the show and I was like nah, she's like why not and I was like She like a fucking activist now Why are people of color on this show look here's you want it? I'm gonna be honest. I I hate I don't mind

Like that's the way the business world works I don't mind it I get it But I hate when people act like it doesn't work like that Do you know what I'm saying? Like people like no fucking it's like cares Why would you care? I that's what I'm saying like I it's I just I I care when people act like it doesn't It's not phony, but it's a business. So they look at a previous successful model. And then they look for something that reminds them

of that previous successful. I mean, these are fucking people in the entertainment industry. They're about making money. They're not looking for an original new voice. If you're getting work out of that label, huh? Why would they take a risk? Exactly. Because that's what I'm saying.

And you know know look it You've traveled a little bit. This is the only place in the world where people are making these comments Like there's there's so much focus put on These these boxes who gives a fuck just do fucking comedy exactly That's exactly if you're getting worked up over different ethnicities or genders or whatever getting Exactly, that's exactly, if you're getting worked up over different ethnicities or genders or whatever getting Advancements you're not only on the wrong side of history. You're probably not writing enough You probably worked up over the wrong shit. Absolutely. You shouldn't get worked up over it We shouldn't get worked up over it. It's a fuck what's a pretend that it? No, of course you shouldn't get worked over it

But to pretend that it's not happening first of all all, does America love you? Nobody. You guys love team. For example, I'll be honest, like for example, like I got a lot of Latin friends who I know were comics and I told them right now is a good time for you. The door is open. The door is open for you. Like this is not your time to be bitter or fucking this is your time to get out there. It's like what I'm saying is to be aware of those things behooves you. It's conducive for your career both ways.

Because if you're not in the, let me finish this. If you're when you're not in the zeitgeist, the business zeitgeist, it behooves you to be aware of that. So you don't waste your time trying to, like you said, go right, go create your own thing because they're not fucking looking for it. Yeah, but they're not anger.

It's a long kind of anger. It's not anger. It's not angry that you'd be, no, no, no, I'm saying. They're angry. I'm not saying, but there are people that are like, why is that person getting stuff? That's the anger I'm referring to. Yes.

And there's an anger where you're like, why, you can say, why am I not getting better and fuel yourself and that's a positive type of anger. But when you're saying like, why, you can say, why am I not getting better and fuel yourself? And that's a positive type of anger. But when you're saying like, why, the bitter anger is what I've seen worked at a comics detriment. And that's because you're right.

That's because they're not that good and they're just getting it. Some of them are good. Some of them just, they're good enough. But you might not have that thing. I think like the comedy industry is kind of getting like the music industry in some respects, where it's like there might be an artist,

you're like, oh, we can sell a lot of copies of this person. But on the other side, it's like, they might not think that you can sell a lot of copies, but then you put out your own music. And then people are like, oh, this person has a base already. Let's do something, oh, we don't need us that much. And so we need them. And that's why I'm voting for Mac or more

2016 no, but if you're Latin right now look I work for a network where they they created a whole network To try to figure out how to reach what they deemed to be the most valuable demographic in the future because one out of five Millennials is Latin American born here so they're trying to put things on TV to capture that market. So if you're Latin right now. Every generation that Latin whatever race you wanna hang on an umbrella under, it dissipates over time because these are people born in America

subscribing to dated stereotypes. Who you guys are? No, it's just, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's a real, to a react to a certain to a certain extent Not to be like to push racial stereotypes, but I think it to an extent like you wouldn't see like a show like Fresh off the boat about a Korean family Ten years ago they wouldn't have been looking for Michael Che five years ago or ten years ago I mean like it's a great thing. It is a good thing when I think it's a bad thing

That's I'm not happening, but it's like that's also a good thing. Progression is good for people who get it. Are funny. But it's like, you know, Vlad just got a thing. Vladimir, Vladimir just got it. And it's like, it's like, this makes sense. When you see it, you're like, I know him, he's funny as shit.

This one makes, and Sam, to your point, if you're getting upset about that as like a white male, you're wasting your time. Cause you're not looking for you for that role. They're looking for, so you weren't gonna get it anyway. I thought I should have gotten Lopez tonight. You know what? I mean, it's fine.

They went with George Lopez. I get it. I mean, that's the nutshell. You know? I think a lot of it's like, a lot of comics, it's easier to point fingers than to look within yourself and see like what's wrong with me? Wown's the last time, like I read this quote

to Leonard Conn recently where he said his last, this book he wrote called Beautiful Losers, and you're laughing because I'm, no, I was about, I was just gonna say, it's a lot more important if you're what they're not looking for for you to look within yourself and get better. Yeah. Because if they're looking for you, they're gonna find you. If you're funny, and you're the right thing that they're looking for right now, they will find you.

But what choice do you have but the best going and get better? I mean, Leonard Cohen, the thing with the quarter is gonna say was about how he wrote this book called Beautiful Losers in the 60s. And he talks about writing it. He'd spend some days 20 hours just writing and it's like oh if you're not writing a Shit load then you have nothing to complain about absolutely But when's the last time an agent came up to you before they saw you perform and they came up to me They were like why were you not on the show?

I can't The deep who effects It's just a good time and it's a good time and that's a young agent too like it wasn't like No, she's a young agent. She's trying to find the guy she's trying to find her a Z She's trying to find her cum Allen John master Like a wigger I can talk like a Z's and Yeah, it's just it's a good thing and it's a good thing that everyone's being included

It's a good thing. It's a it's all a good thing. And it's a good thing that everyone's being included. It's a good thing. It's all a good thing, man. But like I said, on the flip sides, if you're a white man right now, there's a lot of us, and you have to get really good. You have to get really good. And that's it. I think it's been like that for a while though. What do you mean?

Like if you're a white dude doing comedy, it's like, you gotta be really, really good. But white guys have had it really good. But the white guys, and it's changed. And that's great. It's easier in a lot of ways. It's a lot of ways, but white guys used to be all white guys. Like they weren't like, yeah.

And now it's opened up, which is great for everybody else. And so if you're a white guy, there's a lot of us, and there's so much to pick, there's too many of us. So it's like, we can't stand out. We do a showcase and it's like, fucking 20 white guys, and then like one funny South Asian, one funny Latin or one funny woman, or even a black guy. You guys are gonna stand out more, and that's fine. That's a great thing.

Most of my set now is just apologizing for being white. I mean, I just say, look, I'm sorry. Look if I can't. I didn't want this. This is my burden. It's not apologizing for being white. It's apologizing for being right. All right, guys, I'm right now. No, it's a good time. It's just a good time, man. I was telling, you know, I'm just happy. My buddy, Angelo, he's warming up. Angelo, Lizard is warming up. I'm just happy my buddy Angelo. He's warming you know, Angelo is out of his warming up The I really happy for the daily show. He's a great Daily show and it's just it's great man

And I remember having that conversation with him on the road because me and him do the road all the time I was like dude right now. I'm telling because he got this web series get some I just I was just in it and who lost I jump a white man Paul McCurrier. Yeah He got hired at co-bear But I was just like man. it's just a great time right now That attitude because it's not harder for girls. That's bullshit That is a struggle. There's a struggle everybody got a struggle good if you Always clubbing there's and the living conditions on the road are unfair to women and get hit on it

But if you are a funny woman. Yeah, they're you're if you're crushing if you will get in the center Then he opened my crew you want Just because there's a lot less. There's a lot less. So you're gonna stand out quicker. Yeah, of course Yeah, you should have a positive outlook on it. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I got to go to people with like, fucking 500 guys who are as good as me or better. And it's like, when you're a check, there's like,

you do comedy? Yeah, what the hell? No, dabble. A dabble. And you know, it's just, you know, it's just if you get really funny, you know, they'll do the forced you to do your own thing. Like you did Mauricio, you did Mr. Hanna's.

Like it forced you to stand out and you realize that. what I'm saying is like I kind of I felt that I kind of realized that nobody was ever looking for I didn't feel that kind of they were looking for me it shows you Crush and there's just no reaction to you you just and it's cool man And the people that get stuff are fucking deserving these people are putting a lot of money on the line They're putting a lot of them. they're not gonna go with something. Yeah, they're jobs in the line. They're not gonna, Vladimir Camino is a funny young comic. And he's been at a long time.

He's got tops. He's a smart guy too. When you heard the information it wasn't like, why did this happen? It's like, oh, this makes all the sense. Yeah, go do that shit. The longer I do this too, the more I'm like, it's harder to get better because you just like,

you realize how hard it is for everybody like this is a tough career choice. Yeah, it's hard for somebody. So anyone who's getting any success as long as they're not a piece of shit or a hack, you're kind of like good for them, you know. And plus, you know, I always just go back to the fact that this is a fun way to make a living. So as long as I'm making a living and making people laugh, it's great.

And also white panor. You know people laugh, it's great. And also white power, you know? Oh, it's a good time. Yeah, yeah. Right, I mean, you know, they're not like this. You know what, you're, you're, you're, you're the opposite. It was like you're auditioning for white power. Yeah, he was so awkward about that. That's white power.

White power. You're the white power. White power. You're the opposite of everything you look. You look like a really mean guy. You're really nice. You look like a rapist and you're a killer. So I mean really, you're the opposite. You're like all the sons of everybody. You're an aluminum.

You're, you look like you're like an off-duty Nazi. You look like a Nazi who's like taking a day off. You're not racist. Tell us about that. You think it curbs Tom people. He doesn't know. He's a nice, Jason is a really nice guy. A really funny guy. Say he looks like that. Yeah, but you do, you are aware that you look scary.

But why? Oh, God. Here we go. Oh, God. Really? Are we going to have an adult conversation? Are you just going to keep saying why? It's a good way to find out Who you want to associate your shift if you have preconceived notions of

Okay, I'll agree with that anything I'm not describing is is a race issue by it's like at an ignorance people have Flip decisions on who my values are yeah, but some of it's a choice and some of it's how you know, I mean like I'm this is this is I'm aware of it, but you also do shit in bathrooms on the road Shit it shits in a bathtub So you do do some bad stuff Someone someone in chat says you look like Bobby on meth and Hitler. Tell him to send his address, he'll be around in an hour. I'm gonna put

her shinlers list up his address. But no, that's a good point. People are very judgmental. Yeah, fuck them. I don't know. You do with that a lot, a lot of judgment. I don't talk to people that's fine yeah should we wrap up two plugs and stuff you'll be missed I get a I'm on showtime this year we're gonna play yeah you're on showtime every every week for the last six months yeah Jason it's got a lot he's been not done a lot of TV around the world. You can watch this country Huh HBO time I'm getting to it. You have no trust my CDs out on fucking my website buy it

God what's the website? Well there you go Jason Rouse calm is called rotten. It's it's it's it's like a hate crime with a Laptop track. Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, and you can go watch clips of our bias album. He was on DICE's Showtime Special. Yeah, it's on every time. Yeah, so you can watch it. Watch that Showtime Dice. It was my eight mile to have Andrew Dice Clay introduce me. Yeah. And have you know move up to headliner on the show. It is great. It's beautiful. Yeah, that's great. My album came on a month ago. Yeah. And then, uh, what's some other stuff? I mean, I'm doing some stuff.

It's doing a lot of stuff. It's doing a lot of stuff. He's delivering some crystal meth here. Is anyone ever done crystal meth here? No, have you? Yeah, loads of it. What's it like? Oh.

I used to smoke it in light bulbs. In light bulbs? Hey, we should take a light bulb bring light bulbs so you get it like that and then you take a straw. Very on brand of you. You pull the straw or the uh, the descent through his head. He was fucking getting confident in that. Yeah, he's throwing a mountain through a mountain there. Zings. And when a strong, I feel a strong light from different places. Yeah, we're from earth All right, are we bad people because we never tried to just a map? It's you're judging us right now. Now you're being judgment. Oh, let's to say yeah, right to Shay fuck yeah Well play judging us you looking to us Look at us the squares just a couple squares

You're looking at us. Look at us, the squares. Just a couple squares. You never did heroin. I'm interested in the light bulb with the straw, but I was into it. It's like, that's not something I would do, but it's like, what's that in this light? You know what? Black people don't do crystal meth.

That's a white bubble. We stay on, we stay on, on weed, you know what I do? Strums and all that other shit. Depending on where you're from, that's not my thing. I've been invited to do some cocaine a few times. Like, you know what?

I felt good. I felt good about it. I was like, I respectfully decline. But, yeah, he wasn't invited. I wasn't invited. They were like, hey, you know what? Like, do you want to do some bumps? I was like, you know what?

I first went out with interactive women. You were good. No, I still hang out with them. They was bumping, but I do. But your David Spade's bit about how, like, he always feels so uncool, because he doesn't do drugs. But yeah, and so whenever people like, hey, do you want to do some drugs, he's like, not

right now. Promise you'll try me later. I love that joke. No, I can't. You know the thing is too, it's like when you hear like, growing up, we saw what cracked into people, right? And hearing what like like meth does to people It's it's so much scarier freakier because it's not in the culture at all

There's drug users and people who abuse substances the alcohol sex. Yeah, you know, it's just hard to fit your casual Seems like a very abused most people can't be really because it's a low-end low-rent fucking scumbag Drug you know, I mean be classy try to do it. Let's do everything. Let's put it on tape now. Let's do There is no god Oh God. There is no God. On that note, you guys. Jason Rouse. Jason Rouse.

Are we doing plugs now? Check out his show time. It's running. Pick up his album, uh, rotten jason rouse.com. Do you got nothing to plug? Yeah. Yeah. Mike, uh, Mike Brown, follow me out. Yo, Mike Brown, comedy outliers podcast and a can't stop won't stop web series. Critically, a claim fuck with it.

Black, black, black, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue. Yeah. What? What? Yeah. I'm adlibbing your adlibs. Yeah. Yeah. Take that.

Do black dudes not to do fucking shotouts. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to my boyfriend in college fucking shot out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Shout out to my boyfriend in college too, man, you're looking good baby. I see you comedy outlines We're gonna see you guys on set. Oh, pick up on you had that down like you'll pick up Think about it. Yeah, just flow so good Pick up my album album class act that just came out and that's on iTunes pick it up. It's I'm proud of it. So get it. Thank you I got one of the best joke writers a round. I got I got my Comedy Central specials on demand still I don't know how long it's gonna be my podcast. We know nothing which you were on you were great on it and

And some dates Sam Rullcom, some stuff coming up Hartford Fonnybone DC Toledo laughs, Inc. Zaney's and Chicago. A lot of stuff coming up. So just look at the calendar and I don't have the flow. It's gonna be good shows. You heard the party. Yes. I thought I was going to a party with you and then we're on like suicide I got I'm trying to think at the same time. Oh, and yeah, just a bunch of old days coming up I'll be in LA too. Oh here. Yeah, so come out the shows. I'm there to we know nothing on I to his We know nothing it's a good podcast Go check that out. It's on Phil Hanley's it. Yeah, my favorite. My favorite. He's helping me do it.

And, uh, Hanley. And I'm Nihirina, who's an amazing singer and a great host on that show. Yeah, amazing host. You know what I mean? I like what you do, man. Yeah, check that out tonight, children. You go to iTunes, do two things, all right?

Go listen to, uh, we know nothing. Check that, check that podcast out. Subscribe, rate it, five stars, all that good stuff. And why you there? Why don't you drop some money on Class Act, the album. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then why that's downloading? I'm just gonna plug some dates for Bobby December 10th and 11th will be it side splitters in Tampa Oh, and the 12th January 8th and 9th will be at bananas and has Berk Heights

Then we got 14 through the 16th will be at Mohican Sun So check it out Robert Kelly Kelley live.com. Yeah, and thank you, Bobby, for having me, guest host, I love you, and I love this show, and everyone that listened, and for me, just go to my website, it'll be a Nashville, I'll be in Boston coming up, West Nyak, I'm doing New York, again, a Gotham coming up in January.

So just go to my website, JanicePepis.com, and watch 2-point lead, hashtag 2-point lead, just watch all my sports show. Thank you, Janice, I wanna go to my website, you know, it's peps.com and watch two point lead hashtag two point lead just watch all the my sports show Thank you, Janice. I want to follow you on Twitter. We're not do that Fuck that up to no, no, no, you didn't fucking you didn't fucking because I know you but I need to know I need to know again Without follow you, man, you we all suck at this compared But yo, I gotta do it in the flow right yo, yo Two hashtag two point let get money hashtag money hashtag money sign money sign get that money

You could also find me on Twitter Janice Pappis all one word Janice Pappis, huh? You get into a really all one word him you on that Facebook my Facebook page Janice Pappis you I mean two words Janice Pappid bang bang boom Cool, we're done You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out Ryaknow. You can't just do it.

You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it.

You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. You can't just do it. Thank you, D-Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.

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