Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Write That Down

Episode Date: May 20, 2013

Robert is joined by Yannis Pappas, 'Modern Comedian's Scott Moran, Luis J Gomez and Kelly Fastuca.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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Make sure you check out tweedaudio.com. Use the code word, dude. Buy a few pairs of headphones for you and your friends and your family. 33% off. 33% off, free shipping, check out our page on Amazon and GameFly. Go to GameFly.com slash YKWD, two free weeks. That's right, two free weeks, like the Netflix of gaming. And make sure you check out our friend, Daniel LeBel has a new CD. It's available on iTunes and Amazon. It's called Daniel Lebel, some kind of

comedian. Make sure you check it out. I like to help these guys out. Let people know about comedians that you would know about. Young guys that are coming up, been in the business for a while. I want to make sure that you guys know about good comics and that way you can help them out, promote them, and you guys, that's a fucking truck going by while I'm doing this. Fuck God. Anyways, check it out. Daniela Bell's new album on iTunes and Amazon, some kind of comedian, and make sure you

follow all the people on these shows on the Twitter and on the Facebook and go to this show's live because that's what we do. We're comedians, we want you to show up and see what we really do with your stand-up comedy. I appreciate it again. Thanks. Damn, you know what? You talk too much, damn.

I know, I know. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I always sneeze in twos. Intro, this intro right now is for write that down. This episode was hilarious. What a Yannis poppice was on it. I love Yannis, he's so fucking awesome.

Scott Moran, kind of if it's still got Lewis J Gomez and myself. Scott Moran is a comedian, but he also does these great little shorts, modern comedian. On YouTube, it's a series. You gotta check these out. Very, very funny, really cool.

Just a really interesting look at behind the scenes of a comedian. It's part of a PBS Digital Studio series network. So make sure you check that out. Modern comedian on YouTube, Scott Moran, a fun episode, hilarious, some serious, serious talk, some heated conversation, but it's fuck hilarious. If you don't like this episode, this is not wrong with you. I always love having Yannis on and it's just great.

Fun time. I was around two hours and twenty minutes. We just kept fucking going. So enjoy this episode. Write that down. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

If you bippy-by-a, if you bippy-boo, dippy-dippy-dry-a, you have a dhabit-do. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? I don't care. I'm fucking Riz Olin. I'm chewing gum. Um, it's, it we're actually starting early, six minutes early. But I'm sitting with Janice. Pop us. What's up everybody? Good to be back. Yeah, there's no, there's no need to, uh, keep the mic off with me and you in the room. No, we start rolling. We just get right into it.

Yeah, man, let's. I'm so glad that we become friends, dude. I was a fan of your shit. I'm fond of you. Yeah, I'm very fond of you too. I think you're a good dude. I, um, I think you're a great guy too. You got, you got big smiles behind your eyes.

I got a good soul. I got to spit this come up. Last week, we. I got a good soul. I got to spit this come on. Last week I got a lot of shit, not a lot of shit. There's two things that, there's two types of bullshit you get from doing a podcast. One, somebody just gets annoyed with some type of thing that you do, that you don't even really do, that's not really true, but might be kind of true. And then there's people that actually have an opinion or a beef with what

you said or the topic or your point of view. The latter, I don't mind. I get it. I want somebody not to fucking agree with me. I want to learn. I want somebody's opinion, especially a fan. I'm into that. I love that. But when somebody's just, it's just like, dude, you do this every time. And I'd say, fuck you. Move on. What was it, they were complaining about? Somebody was saying that I mentioned

Dane Cook every episode, which is not true. And number two, who gives a fuck? Yeah, why was that a complaint? It's my, he's my, you know, he's my fucking great friend. Yeah, why would, why did that make somebody upset? I don't know, dude. I don't, I mean, I could understand that. I mean, you know, I don't like when people who are talking have, you know, sucking candy

in their mouth. Yeah, we're mentioning a person's name that's, that's cool. That warrants a complaint. I just fucking bugged me. I blocked them too. I don't think you've mentioned, I don't think I, when I've been here, we haven't talked about warrants a complaint. All right, just fucking bugged me. I blocked them too. I don't think you've mentioned, I don't think when I've been here, we haven't talked about things but once.

It's just, it's just a cunt being a cunt. Well, I got a better question. Why did it bother you so much? I'll tell you why it bothered me. It didn't bother me. I don't like liars. I don't like false people. I don't like people that just say shit

to get a rouse out of somebody, to get a hard one. Hey, I'm just fucking with you. I don't, you're not my friend. You're not my best friend. I don't know you enough to fuck with me. And there's rules to fuck with me. They gotta know you.

Well, look man. But you know, he listens to the cast and they feel like they're your friend, he's palying around with you. Doesn't matter. You're a ballbreaker, you know. Yeah, I'm a ballbreaker to people I know. I don't just walk up to a fan and go hey fatso How's your fat wife? That's a nice boy nice tooth on your fucking chick's face and your babies ugly I saw your Facebook page. Oh

Why don't you try fucking killing that? That's a good point. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a high-sweating We're already started Kelly. That's a good point. I couldn't wait I just I just had to get going I felt the the fucking the urge. You know, it's interesting though Like that's kind that's increasingly more of a problem in today's Media landscape where people have podcasts and you communicate directly with fans They kind of feel like they know you kind of like oh, I absolutely get it. It's a weird thing But I'll be the some there's some people that Oh, man, let me Make sure everything's working here. Yeah, I get that dude. I understand all that jazz, but here's a deal. I I also

It's like but there's a dark side to that is what I'm trying I was what I'm also saying. Yeah, there's a dark side to it There's a dark side to it. You get a fucking creepy people and people saying stupid shit Well, it's like look man You I've done it before. I've gone to people's pages and said, oh, look at your kid, look at your ugly. Is that your kid's face? Oh my God, both his eyes aren't the same size.

And they get fucked out, hey dude, no, fuck you. Just stop. Can we just be friends? Can you listen to the show? And you can be part of it? You can fucking listen and laugh and write, you know, there's a way of busting balls and it's not knit picking I hate fucking knit and false knick pickers. Are you getting a lot of them? I'm not at all. I'm a fucking sensitive guy. Yeah, but you know what's weird, dude? As comedians don't you feel like we can't

Help but give attention to the ones that fucking criticizes because our parents didn't or didn't do it enough And we're just all sensitive little prick no because we are the fucking look at how much attention you're giving this one guy Here's the thing though it we We this is what we do bro. We take something rip it the fuck apart Analyze the fuck out of it find the the funny, find the truth, find your opinion, and then you tell somebody else. That's what we do. We don't sit and watch TV.

We go, what the fuck, look at her fucking dumb face. I hate this, she's too thin. Why did I get a fuck, ah yeah, she just, oh look at the way she just did, and my wife's like, can you just shut the fuck up and watch the show? Most people are watch TV and watch the news and watch every, and just go through life.

You know, like I've said before, the waitress comes over, can I help you? And she leaves, what the fuck's wrong with that cut? What she just said, can I help you? But yeah, her tone sucked. She doesn't like me. Nine times out of 10, the comic will be right. This cock saw you at a show and

she's fucking miserable because you're there or something happened last night which he doesn't like your face and she's spitting in your coffee in the back room. Right. We're right. We're fucking right. We're insightful. We're very insightful. That is our thing. Psychology. But we also need to please. Somebody's not pleased and fucking apps are fucking literally because a hundred people can compliment the show And you wouldn't even remember their name those people don't talk the thousands of people you get a lot of like great show I love it. Absolutely. We do we get maybe Absolutely do, but there's thousands of people that listen to this show and not all of them fucking

You know, I mean, but the ones who do you never remember no absolutely do love them all yeah I do look man I'm like I'm a I'm a course I'm a pussy right I'm a I'm a girl let's just get that a little sense let's just get that out there so we can move off from that I am a sensitive needy codependent pussy okay but when somebody says yeah every fucking time you know you mentioned this dang cooks name. And you know what, I did it again this show. So go fuck yourself.

Ha ha. Dang cook, dang cook. I accidentally just walked in Lewis. I let Lewis in downstairs. And I was like, what? I thought it was Scott. I was like, why isn't he coming up? So I went down and get him.

It was Lewis. He was getting changed. And I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Why was he getting changed? I don't know. I think he probably rolled a blade in here. It was like, sweaty as fuck. I'm like ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah I don't even know I really tried to figure out what Kelly just said and I didn't get it I think she said Lewis was changing in the foyer and she came in and saw him and her eyes were burned forever That's what she was trying to say You walk on my translate the word But you don't know I'm saying that like anyways that that fucking I it's like dude shut

Don't say false shit and don't be a nitpicker if you got a real gripe just say it right don't be a fucking and don't try to I don't like when people try to go to other people to get against me like they go into my friends trying to get them against me Like hey norton or hey Kelly. Oh, hey you hit bobby fuck you just go to me right go to me you fuck All right now you you're fucking blocked. Now send the email. Send the, I'm sorry email, Bob. Big fan of the show. And then I'm blocky.

You know what I mean? I am block a lot of people though. You block over there, I'm blocky. Yeah, because I told you, I'm a fucking codependent needy asshole. You love it. Hi buddy, how you doing? Let him in.

Where'd you come on? Do you know Scott? You guys, man. I never met Scott Bob, Bob Scott. I don't think I ever met Scott either. Yeah, Scott Lewis, Lewis Scott. What? I know Scott.

I know, Jonas. I'm very excited to talk to Scott. I love this fucking podcast. He just happened to go that way, buddy. Yeah, come over here and sit next to me. Lollionist, push that mic up. Let Scott through. Let Scotty through.

This is my seat, so I'm gonna stay. Well, apparently he's an alpha male and he just fucking claimed his seat that was fucking crazy hi buddy how are you nice to meet you man yeah just put head for we're rolling do we don't we don't do any of this hey so where are you from where did you get started Scott are you from New York originally from Oregon I heard you were from Oregon or Washington Washington Washington. I love it up there I love from monoray up. I love from monoray up is like the best part of that fucking state Monoray and then yeah well up to Washington Seattle and, and Oregon, and fucking, from there up on the map is awesome.

I'll go into Vancouver in Victoria. I love that. I heard it's hard. You know why? Because it's like, it's this woodsy fucking awesome cold rainy. I know, you can have white. White. Yeah, but it's what I like.

That's why you like it. Very white. Super white white very white. Yeah, but it's like that's why you like it. Very white. Super white. No, Puerto Ricans. This is ice just lit up. I love, I love San Fran is my favorite. I love, I love Mon Arei and then Washington. Don't you feel San Fran's like a little too liberal?

Like a little fascist, he liberal. I'm not saying that's a Seattleist too, man. I'm not saying I could, I love Seattle though, but I'm not saying I can, I'm not gonna live there, but I could definitely go and I love hanging out there, I love doing shows there. I love that the fuck it, it's like the city, and then you look out in those mountains and water.

It is gorgeous, yeah. Just crazy eagle, a fucking bald eagle, a fly down during your show and grab the mic out of here. Wow! I mean, guys, it's Joe List. Wow. Eagle a fucking bald eagle fly down during your show and grab the mic got it Wow Wow I got a fucking turn your mic down apparently right off the fucking mark I got it rasced Jesus Christ no funny when you explain it She has a fucked up her speech won't you mumbling buttery?

Jesus stop trying to eat healthier for you fat You know it's great about Lewis Lewis is one of those guys who won't give it nothing he won't give it to his body He won't give it and he's fighting it, but you can't hold on forever, dude We're in three miles today. Yeah, you can't hold on forever the time you like in your 40s or 50s You and Bobby are gonna be fucking Sumo tag team sumo wrestling. Are you guys here in a static at all? I did on you honest is my good one you did right? Yeah. My honest. Yeah, hello. Is it your mic that's static and out a little bit? I don't hear anything. Do me a favor,

switch that mic. Would you? I heard it a little bit right? What the fuck it is? No, no, you don't do this one. No, you're gonna, you know, you know, mics work. I even actually check it out. Yeah, I know you have somebody at your shows doing that for you. I know you're selling a one club. Yeah, I know you have somebody at your shows doing that for you having a selling out one club You'll Miami I'm back again For even two weeks I know Bobby, but I'm back again on Wednesday I don't like to be I'm not a Mike Stan comic anyway. I'm a hold the mic dude you hold that mic you hold that shit And then you hit that mic into a woman's head dude- I don't like to be- I'm not a mic stand comic anyway, I'm a hold the mic. Dude, you hold that mic. I like to be fucked. You hold that shit.

And then you hit that mic into a woman's head. Dude, I don't want- She disrespects you. I don't want to- I don't want to be holding a mic that doesn't have a fucking logo on it. That doesn't feel right to me. I don't know, there's a static. I don't know what it is. Can you hear this?

Is there no static here? Can I hear it now? Is there a static here? I can't hear any static at all. You want to support now one of his new character static boy Static thanks Kelly appreciate There's no static Sounds like a fucking rap is no static. It's no static. So um this is better

I don't know why I haven't done this from the jump just from the jump take the mic. Oh shit my life Jump from the gym take the mic out. Oh shit my life. Yannis is holding the mic like he's a fucking rapper and it's actually making me angry one two one two What does it what doesn't make you angry Louis my child my child smiles. Yeah, it will make you angry Soon as it doesn't like you So we got the honest poppers in the house what's up everybody? We got Lewis Jay fuck. I hate saying that Gomez real last dude have a friend gonna have them in my radio. Yep. You were in a USA shirt, which he shouldn't Cuz he doesn't fucking being our watchport I'm sometimes people were like you know shirts with like books on them to be on it

You know the guy that I look like I saw a terrorist looking do with a backpack that looked like I had a fucking nice bean Cooker in the back and he had two American flags shooting out of the backpack. I'm like, it's him. That's not full of me. The fucking American flag. We're going to Milwaukee. What? You heard that static and you're like, my migraine. Yeah, what's going on here, man? Rob Spranse, bro. What's your guys names? Liverin and Shirley. I'm here in the static we're not terrorists. I'm livern. He's Shirley Hang on one sec guys give me one sec. Give me one sec hold on Shit fuck it. You know what you're gonna get a little static until Rob sprants fixes whatever the fuck out No, I'm not gonna. Yeah, what the fuck? What is happening?

Um, what is happening? What is it is not my mic though? Why don't you join me Scott? What did you do? I fucking tripped over four chords Scott's Shit out there in the hallway Trademic phones with Scott because he speaks very low in your lab. No, I'm not trading with anybody This is my microphone something fucking happened. I blame Kelly are we reporting? No, I'm not it's not that bad. It just sounds like audio to audio to audio tunes Is this another character we're gonna so we can sell out to you?

I'm gonna just get every culture with a different character Accroation I'm a Lithuanian Larry I'm Bobby the Belgian hey I don't know let me try to get fucking sprants. I don't Hey, that's fine. If you don't go too loud. It's what do you mean too loud? I'm loud. You need to be I'm fucking loud. I did notice it. I'm very fucking loud. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's not fucking doing what it usually does. What it usually does is hang on one sec. Can I just do something real quick?

You guys mind? All right. Better pull your dick out. If you don't pull your dick out, you're not my friend. Check. Dude, I can't pull my dick out. I can't.

I would love to have that type of deck that I could just fucking whip it out right now and Scott wouldn't immediately laugh and then wanna do a whole video on that. Yours is all public stuck and mashed together. I don't like, you wanna do a video on you, I wanna like do it on your hog. Lexus, we got Kelly Pastigogo, we got Lewis J,

and we got Scott, What's your last name? I forget Moran Moran. Scott Moran, who, uh, you guys don't know, but why don't you, uh, explain to people, like, what are you a comic? Yeah, I'm a comic. You're a standup comic. I'm a standup comic and I make films. You make films.

Make a film series called modern comedian, be friends with Joe DeRosa. Oh, oh, jolly brosa. I made a film. Dad, I made a film. It's not your film. Me and, Fred, you joke to Rosa? Oh, jolly, Rosa. I made a film. Yeah, I made a film. It's not your film. Me and- Oh.

Was Joe to Rosa's modern comedian? Did it set out to be about him getting heckled? Or did you guys have nothing? Yeah, we had a bad set. We hired a lady to heckle him. Fuck, it came out really good. She was funny with him. Yeah, she was really good at heck.

She actually heckled him into a corner. Did you know that was going to happen? No, we didn't know that was going to happen. We actually filmed four different interviews about different things. And you got to take all the all four times. The interview was about four different things. We filmed four sets and that was the best set. So you're like, you know what, let's just make this about you being a bad comic.

Can you name this one, Joe? Whoa. This one's called bad set. Dude, what was that? Bad set number two. Dude, it sounds like the fucking mixing board is on fire. What do you want me to do, dude? It doesn't sound that bad.

It sounds fine to me. It's just fun. It sounds fine to me, right? That down. Listen, it's I think that's all the only reason why people do podcasts now is dude. That's a good name. That's what you should name it Sapphire rings sometimes I thought straight breast milk will record four of them and then never do it again That's a long you can't that's too long to put on this might do podcast. I'm so comfortable right really? What is it called?

Kingpin and Jail getting head from Twink's posture? Just so much more comfortable leading up in China. You know, be a conformist. I'm a non-conformist. The way Jack should have looked every time Mr. Furley came in. Hey, Jack. So you do these, you do Scott, you do these,

I've seen one of them, I've seen Joe DeRose's and you do these amazing short films, I would say. Yeah, for YouTube. Explain what it is, explain what, explain what, when you, why you wanted to do it and what it's about. Why, let's see, what it is, well first of all, what it is is just each episode is just like a little, around 10 minute documentary about a comedian,

but not like a cheesy, just a profile on a comedian. It's like something about them or their personality as it relates to stand up. So each episode is different. Like, Yannis over here got shot in the leg. Oh, that was your movie. I saw that, that was great. Yeah, so we did an episode about Yannis getting shot and shot in the leg. Oh, that was your movie. I saw that. That was great. Yeah, so we did an episode about Yannis getting shot and then showed him doing some of his...

Did you have to shoot him? His stand up material. I shot him back in the 90s. That was you. That was you. And then Joe D'Arosis was the sequel. We're all going to wish he would just get shot. Chase the Christ. The fight. Take that bandana, Rob.

Putting your mouth. Stop hurting my friend I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm. I would hope so. I'm going to just fucking whip this out. Hey, dude, I'm going to fucking become a filmist. Well, I've been wanting to make film shit for a long time, except for, you know, just recently cameras became super affordable.

Isn't it? Well, here's the thing, they became super, super affordable, as you said, very fucking goodly. And as firing me from, very goodly, me from, the opposite of goodly. Me from Boston me from very goodly me from me from Boston super flottable kid I really gonna fucking stretch my lips out to say super affordable super affordable very good right that down very good right that down but yeah I think technology is so fucking crazy now

that I mean you could film You could film a movie with your iPhone get a good quality mic You could probably film a shitty movie with your iPhone. Yeah, but it would be better than a movie You could film in the 80s with the camcorder. It's crazy, right? I mean it's better than 970's TV Yeah, I mean the iPhone cameras actually better than the year 2000, like handheld camera. Yeah, I was about to say, you could shoot a good movie with an iPhone if you light it, right? Yeah. No, the camera is good.

Absolutely. I actually watched a whole documentary on YouTube, how to film a actual great movie with an iPhone. I mean, the mic you have to get the lighting you have to get and all the shit you have to do and the app and blah, blah, blah. But it's crazy what you can do now. So now, it's easier, cheaper for a guy like you who has this, I wanna make movies, I wanna be a film star. Well, really what it was is I didn't wanna do it. I wanted to do something like a podcast,

like I was really inspired by WTF and like that. We don't mention that. We do not mention that. I'm not sure what that means. We don't mention that name. Now where YKWD? We do not not do we draw a line a long time ago yeah you can you can say USA I'm already out of all the way y'all kidding I love Marin he's fucking I love his I just like the idea of just when we we kind of realized collectively as it as

comedians that we actually enjoy hearing about people's careers right and all that so I just wanted to do that But I think I wanted to give it a more of a visual feel so right. It's just what I came up with and I'm movie more of a visual feel Wanted to give it more a visual feel so I shot it with a movie camera No, that's why I have you on the show because I didn't even catch that. You're so smart, Yana. I wanted you to have more of an audible experience, so I started talking to you. Yana, just smarter than Lois.

Yana, so I'm taking your fucking episode down tomorrow. I was hungry, so you know what, I went for some food. I was horny, so I went for some masturbation. And then I was hungry, so I ate my cum. Right that down. Right that down. I ate my cum. Yeah, but we smell it. It's COMA, so I just doesn't fuck with us. What Scott didn't mention is he doesn't for PBS.

They're for PBS digital studios. Really? I started doing it on my own and then just millions of people came out of nowhere making me all kinds of offers. Well, I mean, so I went with the, with PBS because there was a little bit of money. We don't do sarcasm on YKWD. Maybe on what the fuck?

Maybe that Mark Marin nerd cast fucking me. We do working class aggression We'll realize you you kid right that down You know what right right that down right that down That was supposed to be at the end of the show stupid. Um, then you do that You have comic timing of a fucking my uncle. You really stink You have comic timing of a fucking my uncle. You really stink. Yeah, Uncle. You're Uncle Lenny Bruce?

No, my uncle David in Albany. See, a real uncle or foster uncle? He's my real uncle. He can have a foster uncle. I'm a stuck-ass him again. He's the one that fucked you for me. No, I sucked somebody for me. Nobody fucked me first of all. Sucking and fucking is two different things. first of all one some women would say that

sucking is a little bit more personal. Yeah those fucking the whores are wrong getting something we listen you can't get AIDS from sucking. Well you can have a store in your mouth. You can't. Bloody gum Jay. It's hard to get AIDS. It's harder. If you're black you can. That's the way the South African government created it. Wow. You know what, all Facebook, can you please send those to

Janice Popus? Janice Popus. Dotnet. Dotnet, or you can send it to Maurizia. And she'll go, fuck yourself. I don't give a shit. I like a fucker straight up. Why do you need go?

What is the night? Why do you need I? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

So I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I but you know and every I've seen a lot of stuff I love YouTube. I'll spend days on YouTube and it will go I love the the domino effect because it will take you I'll go on to watch, you know, how to sharpen a knife and then you all of a sudden You know, I'm booking a hunting trip to shoot a deer because I learned how to feel dress one You know what I mean? And then you know, you'll see some guy, you know, you'll be a flying car, you're like, what the fuck? And, you know, with videos like that, where these people make these short films on YouTube and put them up on the internet somewhere,

I love watching that, because it's better than TV, it's better than the horseshit, I'm watching somebody trying to find gold for nine hours, and then I'm watching the Alaskan, I know every, two years ago, I knew nothing about Alaska. Bob. I know every two years ago I knew nothing about Alaska. Bob. I know every possible thing the Alaska is not that bad. I want to go. I thought it was like the last frontier. It's fucking not. There's a bunch of white people living in the woods off of

beevapelts and fucking moose meat, okay? Are you one of those people that think in like 10 years that it's just can be like YouTube. Everyone's gonna be able to just be on demand and watch whatever they want from the internet and TV is gonna be obsolete. No I'm one of those people that think in like 10 years that it's just gonna be like YouTube? Everyone's gonna be able to just be on demand and watch whatever they want from the internet and TV is gonna be obsolete. No, I'm one of those people that just bought a hunting knife and we're gonna be in the woods because electricity is gonna die. And you're gonna learn how to feel dressed a deer and fucking go to a lasker and live off of those fucking most famous- You're one of those people that you believe any documentary you see?

No dude. We're running out of oil! You can't eat food in America, you can't eat food in the middle. No, my point is really, we're going to go off on a tangent here. This is what we do here. Enough with your life and career. We're talking about mousse meat. I really, I think it's important to know how to,

I think for the last hundred years Maybe 120 years. I'll say We've been you know specific get specific what what we've been we've been in 20 not 100 well check it out Dude, where we go with this. I feel like you're pulling this fact that we're ever it's going. I feel like it's very well researched I'm saying In my 100 it's 120 years. I would say 120 years. We've been we've been living high on the hog. It's very easy. I mean every day in the room has a cell phone. Everybody, I mean 30 years ago you had to use a pay phone to go home to your house. You

had to know somebody's phone number. You didn't just have it a button number two or you had to know somebody's fucking actual phone number 20 years ago, that's not that far. So 120 years ago and before that, we were killing our own food, hunting shit. You know, everything was a lot purer and everybody knew how to pretty much, everybody not a grow shit and plant seeds and live off the fucking land and live outside and not have electricity

and heat and there was shit in the ground and people had to, I mean watch, the electricity goes out in New York City and we fucking lose it. People start killing people. Nobody knows what the fuck to do. So I, you know, literally, nobody started killing like literally. Are you out of your mind? You go to Long Island. There was people, towns, communities, protecting their homes with guns, streets, bar and killing. Started killing like literally you out of your mind you go to long island those people towns communities

It's protecting their homes with guns streets Nobody was killing anybody because Because we took care of it, but it turned the power back on you yeah if you go for a listen man I'm not true. Yeah, I'm not being crazy. I understand that you know where technology everything's, technology makes everything better and easier and cheaper and faster and it's greater for all of us. But, you know, God forbid something happens. I wanna know that I know most of human beings, the time on this earth, we've been here,

we know how to survive off the land. We know how to fucking hunt, kill, and live in the winter without this crazy shelter we have. We hit a button and heat comes kill, and live in the winter without this crazy shelter we have. We hit a button and heat comes on, okay? So you think, because you know how to skin a rabbit, that you're gonna be able to survive out there once the fuck you. But I guarantee you that it'll happen, we would pick up, just instinctually we would pick it back here.

She a fucking nuts. Some of us would die, like the stupid ones would die. Yeah, yeah, most of us... Most of us... They'd shoot a dog. You know what he'd feed fucking skin a person for eat a rabbit. I wouldn't die No, that's my problem. I my point is I think that as as a man I think that you should be able to know how to hunt something or kill something

I want to kill something. I want to go kill something. I want to kill something I want to go. I don't want to own a gun. I don't want to become a hunter. I don't want to get camouflage gear. I want to, what I want to do is to make camouflage gear. So it's going to a puppy store and snap a puppy's neck. No, I have. Just standing next to a tree and you know nothing can see you. That's fun.

You want to. All right, you're fucking pervert. Well, you can rape without anybody knowing in Brooklyn. Bobby, you want to kill something? Well, this is your eyes. And Brooklyn, you have to, it's not camouflage. You have to dress. When you can rape without anybody knowing in Brooklyn And Brooklyn you have to it's not camouflage you have to dress there's a black eye outfit And you're standing there and they just why I'm sorry. Why do you want to kill something? I want to I don't want to kill something so bad I think it's important to be able to go out hunt something kill your appetite. Let me Actually the end of the world would be good for me I mean nothing very Bob

Shredding you looking good what happened well, you know the apocalypse Right that down really no food left I've been surviving off this food. I've been stored in Walking around for days and let him do it. Okay, fatty. He'd be right next to me by my rent three miles today. I don't give a fuck what you would do when you're getting chased by the cops. I could do the same thing, you fucking reagan. If I stole purses, I would be able to run three, four miles.

If you don't look at Lewis, it doesn't matter. Kelly, you are ugly. Jesus Christ. That's so mean. And you know, she's not. Officially, she's not. Up close, absolutely. She's on the line. That is so not true. She's so pretty. All right, look at her pretty face, dude

All right, and then we start with you fucking animals listen first of all she's got a pretty honest. She's fucking ugly Hello, oh, yeah, you always defense me. It's not even I'm not even defending you. I'm defending objective reality. You are so fuckable. It's not even funny. I don't even know if that's a compliment. You are, yeah. If I was a woman, I don't know. You're not ugly, like a woman of fucking pussy.

If I were your four beers in, I mean, you are ready. If my wife was here, I don't think she'd think that was good. I think she'd be like, no, Janice, that's worse. You're fuckable. You're so fuckable, lady. Oh my God, if I woke up from a pepperoni hangover, I'd fuck this shit out, lady. If I was hammin' the things I would do to you.

No, I'm kidding. She has enough shit. I'm kidding, you're ugly. I'm joking, you are atrocious, my fucking upspiraling. Seriously, you should have, why don't you should have a, why don't you have a, why don't you have a fucking, why don't you have people write in and say what they think, take a picture of her. This guy dick picture.

You know, they're all gonna wanna fuck her, they'd fuck me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Do you do that do message me yana since always the whole studs always the voice dad The most dad's love me like you don't have to sit around take that shit from fucking bird mouth Joe list I'll treat you like a kid sweetheart Joe list I'm a manager over at home depot out here in Wisconsin. I'll make you a missus get you a green card Yeah, you don't have to take that shit from fucking stone hedge soda head Yeah, you don't have to take that shit from fucking stone hedge soda head Oh my god his eyes are so not right It's like they're in them. Hey, it looks like a kid drawing

You know what kids would just draw the self portrait the heads too big and the eyes are just in the middle All right, listen so back to I bet listen I I don't know how to, to first of all, get over the fact that if you had to eat something, I don't want to just, I don't want the pell, I don't want the fucking head and the antler. I want to eat the meat, I want to harvest a deer or harvest a, a, a, a, a, a deer. I want to eat the meat, I want to eat the meat, I want to eat the meat, I want to eat the meat, I want to eat the meat, I want to eat the meat, I want to want to just, I don't want the pell, I don't want the fucking head and the antler, I want to eat the meat, I want to harvest a deer or harvest a rabbit or something and know how to, know how to kill it, know how to harvest it and then eat it and have the whole circle of life what we did for thousands and thousands of

years before there was supermarkets where you could just walk down the fucking street and get meat that isn't even the color of Fucking real meat because they they make it look pretty for us Then there's an expiration date on it and my wife is like, you know, it's a two days after the hamburger It's like you know throw that out. Why? What though it also happened back then? She'll die if you eat it before you want. I think you're talking about pre-industrial revolution And what do you go to low Massachusetts last weekend?

The industrial revolution was sat in here in Lowe. What happened was people needing blankets and rugs. But also people back then lived to be like 35, so you'd be dead. And they got sick and had plagues and shit all the time. Absolutely. I'm not saying that I wanna go live in the fucking woods in the lean two. I wanna keep my midtown apartment and I wanna fucking order from Thai places still.

I just wanna know that if the lights go out, I just wanna snap it. I'm tears neck. I wanna do it. You can't have your cake, you need a two, dude. You should wear the other. No, you can't, you can't. No, you can't be some weak kid warrior, I just, I'm such a city pussy and I wanna go learn how to kill a demon. Yeah, you can now you can't be some weekend warrior. I just I'm a such a city pussy

And I want to go learn how to kill it. Yeah, you can you're not a flyfish Oh, this is everything you're saying. This is all up my alley Cuz like he's a hit my whole family my dad's a hunter my dad makes fly rods. He's a fly. Right guide That's what I love it. I'm a big fly fisherman my brother He's he can he can he can what is it cut up deer? Yeah, it's a picture harvest. Yeah, he'll harvest works for a butcher shop So they he'll like cut up deer all night, right? They all think you're gay because you moved to New York City to become a standup Yeah, actually they do you honest they actually they did god. How's your skits going? I have to apologize

Your Scott take this farm fish and pull't go fish a dick out of the river Can't joke with this and take these back to New York its dear balls your fucking home So My cousins always flip me shit. Oh, he's from New York and so I'm like I grew up with you fuckers here in Idaho Because I've been living there for five years. We knew you're always different I knew I was different when I wouldn't go hunting with them You guys I'm gonna write poetry while you guys killed stuff. I'm gonna use my galaxy I have a vision for I have a vision for a short film series

I want to stay here and listen to the what the fuck podcast of Mark Marren and and cuz this one's a good one He has Bobby Leon and he gets why does he take his clothes off all the time Guys, I'm leaving here. I love irony Fuckin go run. No, you really Can I just say something else somebody else? I know that was better. I think it deserve more Well, when I love irony. I imagine he's made that statement, just slammed the door of his family's house and just ran out.

Guys, I'm leaving. Hey, I love irony. Hey, we got it. Okay. We got it. We're not the audience. We're comics too. All right. We got it. And we ended it.

You ended it. We made a decision in a second. And then you just live with it. All right. Don't try to sell it. This isn't fucking Glen Gary Glen Ross. Come on guys, give me more for that. Right that down. Listen, if you guys are hearing this,

next door Rose, next door there's an apartment and they have a new dog. So now when we get loud, you're gonna hear this fucking dog barking. And there's nothing I can do about it. You can kill it? No, it's a- I'm gonna kill that snuff that neck.

No. No. You know what? I hope it happens next week. And you two fucking fairies need me from me. I hope. I was shooting squirrels in Idaho two days ago, bud. Where are you really? Yeah?

What you do with the ground squirrel problem? He's not bragging, but he pulled out the butt on you. Yeah, what are you doing? serial killer Practice in on little animals. I was shooting them with a dart gun. I mean my grandpa and my uncles You know, they're the place where they feed their cows is got a ground squirrel issue So they go over there every afternoon and they thin them out with their 22s. What is it? What is it? A herd of squirrels? There is a lot of squirrels and they are dangerous because they'll dig these holes and then the cows will step in them and snap their ankles.

Right. So they actually have to go. Those are called groundhogs. Well, they call them squirrels. Yeah. Okay. What's your other... I don't actually know. They're a little bit bigger than our him squirrels. Yeah, okay. Which I don't actually know.

They're a little bit bigger than her like park squirrels. Lewis take over. I got to call Rose about this fucking dog. Alright, hey, what's going on guys? Lewis take over. I'm a Samber Fisting podcast. Live here on the right cast. Now we're getting into a little bit of UFC on FX8 this weekend. That's all I'm having.

This is not your crowd. Guys, let me plug my ass. She's not up, Kelly. Actually, the one can you get Rose to take care of Kelly the dogs actually funnier I'll be at the Miami improv Monday at 3 p.m. Three people he wearing glasses would know you're talking to me honest doing is set there for a new episode guys I'll be at the Miami improv for one show Monday 10 a.m I want to tell you things she can fucking give it to me. She can be the one

I don't like how you think that because for some reason, she's a girl and she's from Australia, she's less funny than everybody in the room. She can't give it to you. There it is, there is string. Why, Kelly, you give it to him. I do. You try.

I win sometimes. I win. You've never gotten one laugh of something you said to me about me. I have because you're annoyed at me right now. So I've got it. It's'm not true I know what hang on the court will uh... convene i think that Kelly as a point that she's got what about you Scott i don't think it's a funny point but it's a point

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Who said directors can't be fired? So you you were killing squirrels this weekend now when you did you do you got them the eat them? I gotta be honest. I didn't do any of the shooting I wasn't even there this week. Well, you're doing going out Shoot it. No, no, no, that was cute. He was a branch in Brooklyn this weekend No, they just shoot him and then they leave him there. Were you there? Can I just tell you the text I got from the girl Rose whose dog it is? I wrote your dog his losing his mind. I know I just left him we're taking him back tomorrow

He's too much Now's your chance to go in there. Get in there save him dude making the YQWD dog That's fucked up. Why don't tell her why don't you say like why don't you spend some time training it? Why don't you spend some time shutting your face? Okay, I want the dog gone I'm with Robert get the fucking dog Yeah, I don't even be a New York City to begin with Scott, you know what I'm saying to you Scott? I love dogs. I'll tell you I'm me and you when the world ends I'm coming to get you we're gonna film me hunting shit

That nobody will be able to see because there's no electricity But we'll have the footage in case the aliens come back and Fucking give us back electricity. I mean that I'm worried. I'll take you to Idaho There's more my family has more guns than you have fucking buttons on that keyboard Well, okay, you know what I shouldn't have said that buttons on a keyboard I'm not on this thing can we move on? Kelly tell a joke. I actually, did you originally try to film yourself

and realize, well, that's not that good? Something just happened, did you hear that? Let me just try other people. I just, I wish I had, I wish I had tried to film myself a hundred times. This isn't working. Something just happened, do you, is it sound clear? It's better now what the fuck man I think it was Scotch joke about the

That really that isn't even supposed to be a just a shitty analogy I'm not if it good about itself. I don't like how they're gonna get rid of the dog I don't feel bad for the dog. Why don't we save the dog? I haven't even seen the dog. What if it has like you you see your fucking brand new baby? Where are you about that? My baby is doing fucking great not great great surviving you asshole Did I've seen you play met my fucking I could fucking rob your kid in the middle of the night You wouldn't even know it's a first for a window you have a first floor window. Yeah, but no, I don't have grates and fucking bars I don't have great to bar. Yeah, you don't because you're gonna put a rig in neighborhood

I'm in grammar see I'm sick of it. Say grammar see again. I'm gonna fucking hit you See what are you gonna do? I'm gonna fucking hit Scott Let me just smash the guitar Did you just say you're gonna hit his kid? I did I did before that. Oh, I want this dog on I want this Not even do I want this go I want to put your kid, but I'm just playing I'm gonna put this dog to sleep. No, I'm kidding. I would never do that dude get my hands off You don't have to put him to sleep, but you get to light a chocolate bar under the door that doesn't work actually Yeah, my dog fucking I got Christmas chocolates for dogs. It's a fifty fifty dog

Little fucking dog dude 14 pound dog Dark chocolate's for my aunt. I left them on the floor and I went to the bathroom came back He ate 75% of this box of chocolate. It was unbelievable. 100 dollar box chocolates I was praying that he'd be okay. Hey, hey, you know, I just don't get so fucking comfortable That you don't talk into the mic asshole. You just went and he lived out you fucking God damn Greek Somebody feed me grapes. Stop, wait a minute.

Were you the guy who pissed in the courtyard at the stand? Um, he was. A couple of us were doing that, yeah. Fucking, Joe DeRosha led the chart. Yeah, it's it. Fuck Joe DeRosha. Well, we were outside there and somebody else was doing it. And so my drunk, I don't even know who it was.

There was a couple of people doing it. And then my drunk brain and Joe's drunk brain were out there like, oh, I guess this is cool and so we did it and you get in trouble They stop letting people go out Yeah, so nobody they get smoke weed or cigarettes and the court you're in the fucking court yard of a restaurant I thought it was a fucking alley. I didn't know it was a restaurant What was what was the first time I was out there? The second time I was out there. It was on stage. It didn't seem like a comedy club

Did it look with their lights and a table and like Meg Ryan and Ryan Gossal could have dinner there at the end of the movie no okay It's like apparently it's like a little goby between alley between the kitchen and the rest No, it's not a goby it's like it's like trash cans It smells Of the planet would you fucking eat food out there? No, he has what Even if there was a table, you'd be like, we shouldn't eat food out there. I've eaten food out there from the garbage. I get it stupid fat joke. Here's what I'm embarrassed by it.

But at the same time, it was happening when I went out there. Earlier that night, I was got drunker. And then when I went out there, Joe and I both did it. Really? the owners came up like what the fuck you Why are you guys holding each other's dead and really? Cuz we're guys. What yeah, what's wrong with that? Things the guys All right, so Well first of all the fact that you pissed in the now. I don't give a shit

I want to know did you kill squirrels and not? I didn't but have you ever killed anything, Janice? I do spiders and like... I killed a few spiders and cockroaches. Have you ever killed anything? Oh, yeah. One of you killed. I went to my little snake on fire.

No, it's... Jesus Christ, you are a serial killer. Listen to this dog. I want a gun. Send it back to hell. You know, we're glossing over the fact that he lied at the beginning being like, he started to send us back going,

hey bud, I was just an Idaho, he called you bud, too. And he said, hey bud, try to an out-kid. He goes, hey bud, I was just an Idaho killing squirrels while you think about that. And then later he's like, I totally wasn't killing squirrels. I wasn't killing squirrels. I was Mike. It was my bad ass cousins.

I've never been squirrels. I'm from Indiana. I'm from the squirrel killing going on. I could have been there right you are So you were you would have had to say his grandpa can I take your four-wheeler in your shotgun don't he would have went no Faggot Here's a piece of paper in a pen. Aren't you right your thoughts? Why don't you look it right up a screenplay buddy? Why don't you fucking write up a screenplay buddy? And what you make tomorrow those drawings is cousin Faggot coming home for Christmas

That's what they call you Where's cousin Fag? Oh my god Right there I'm cousin Faggot So guys have you guys seen my modern comedian docky short? Shut up Faggot. So guys, have you guys seen my modern comedian, Doc, you short? Shut up, Faggot! Oh. Before we shoot you, we're good. And help me reassemble the snowmobile.

I don't know how to, guys, but I can definitely shoot you guys doing it. Making it into a short snowmobile. I'm gonna write a play about you guys fixing the snow mobile. Oh Shit guys, okay listen. We're gonna try rehearsal. It's when you rehearse the lines that I wrote for you No, don't read that part. That's just the action. That's for me when I direct it You beg it Jesus, are you Jewish? Get out yeah You should do you beg it Jesus christ you Jewish I fucking I can't wait I feel bad that that dog's not being What do you want to kill what do you want to kill let's see if we can make this happen?

I don't know I don't know you know I can shoot wolves in Idaho I can take you to Idaho you should be allowed to shoot wolves. You gotta get a tag for it. That's a film right there. But my grandpa's idea is, I'm gonna shoot the wolf and get a tag later. Yeah, well that's good that you just ratted you. You're gonna get a fucking $10,000 fine because they find a wolf head and a foot.

You know who listens to this podcast, Idaho Game Wardens. Actually we do. I swear to God, there's a guy, no, look at you. Fuck it. Look at you. Look at you glasses. get the wrong sound. Matching your computer with a hammer, this is done.

That was really good acting. You had me for half a second. Is that smashing my computer? Like I couldn't get the hard drive. That's like when computers first came out, just die in a movie. All right, Lizard. That was just fucking USA show.

I hate Lewis's face. I just looked at it. You're blank stupidness makes me fucking get cold. I'm not in the segment. I don't like it. Shit. Anyways, um,

um, well, I think I don't want to kill. I don't know what I want to kill. I just want, I think it's, I think I don't wanna kill, I don't know what I wanna kill. I just wanna, I think it's, I wanna be, you know, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, so I wanna one more time. I'm trying to get the words out. I wanna go hunt something.

I wanna know what that's like. I wanna know, I think it's important for cultures not to lose shit like that. Like when, you know, I've never, I've only, I'm not a fish. I'm not a fish. I'm not a fish rivers. I'm not a fish lakes and ponds. I'm not a fly fish, which is a harder to fly fish. It's not just a worm. You have to know what these fish are eating. You know, you have to know what time of year it

is, what bugs just hatched. What's underneath? Are they feeding on the bottom? Are they feeding? What time of year it is? What bugs just hatched? What's underneath? Are they feeding on the bottom? Are they feeding? What time of day is it? Where the oxygen is in the river? And I mean, there's a lot you have to know. Not to say that in the end of the world, you couldn't just go jump with a spear

and catch a fucking trout. I mean, yeah. But I wanna know, I wanna go camp outside the end after the baby's born. I'm having a son in a couple weeks. I wanna, at the end of the summer, I wanna camp born. I'm having a son in a couple weeks. I want to, at the end of the summer, I want to camp overnight. I want to know what that feels like to be.

Is this camping overnight? I have when I was a kid, but I never, I haven't done it for like, as an adult. Yeah, you just drink a bunch of beer and get high. No, I'm not talking about that. He never had the choice. His uncle just took him and did it.

I listen. Amazing. Here's some meat, fetish. We're going camping shh that's why I have a way problem now do you want hot talk because it was what bobby we want to have a talk more of a sassage well what what thank you for upgrading my uncle's

cock you're not my uncle that's him being nice to well actually you're not my real uncle the The court system says I am kid. I think it's, I don't know, I just, I want to do that. I want to stay out all night. I want to hunt something. I want to harvest meat. I want to know how to do it. To reach inside of something that you just killed

and and and to know how to start out with your bare hands. Yeah, to know how to kill something and pull the guts out and it's it's still, it's still hot. And to take that meat and then that's some crazy shit. I want to know that I can do that without fucking it up and without flinching and you know, I was on a farm. I worked on a farm in up in Rochester when I was a kid for one of those juvenile things.

I remember that we had to cut the duck's head off because it lost a foot to a snapping turtle and this kid was like, I'll do it, I'll do it, I want to fucking do it. He's head off because it lost a foot to a snapping turtle and This kid was like, I'll do it. I'll do it. I want a fucking do it He's a fun. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do it at all and the guy sharp in the axe gave him a fucking a Feed bag and said okay, here you go and he left us this big red neck this kid went down chopped the thing and sliced It's neck and they went oh and then the ducks going It's like now you just sliced its neck it lost lost a foot, now you cut it, bro. What the fuck, and he runs away. Because he didn't have the fucking,

he didn't have that, the mental toughness to go, I'm doing this for the animal's sake. And I had to grab the axe and I chopped its fucking head off, grabbed it by the neck through it in the bag. It's still moving, grabbed the head. And I I was I'm glad that I knew how to do that If I had to do that for that fucking animal working on the farm this fucking cock sucker god damn it I don't want to be that guy. I want to be able to go in the woods build a fucking fire Build a shelter throw on some camo and hunt something down and eat it for a couple days until the you know until the

The troops come in and protect us from have you seen red dawn? Oh red dawn to red on the second one takes place in my hometown of Spokane. Yeah, it does Yeah, and oh my god. How fucking awful was that movie? It was terrible It was terrible and not one not even one frame not even like a still shot was actually spoke in really i think it was all the Vancouver no shit they film a lot of stuff was there any black people in the spoke and was there is there is a lot of russians there's a big russian problem there now the black problem russian problem it is like a rodent problem let's talk frankly oh side note there's a real russian problem side note i mean you harvest meat is not really a term

i do that too when he said that you said it like four times i'm looking it up dude i've been it's been bugging harvest harvest the deer harvest type in harvest the deer i think that i think that is right i've heard people say that i mean dude can we to hear about this from around Russian problem i like this i want to get it to two things i know this podcast the first for 50 minutes has been all over the place, but we do that. I haven't seen you all in a while.

Lewis is stupid and we got a new guy. So that just fucks things up. This is the magazine that was on, I just took this picture at my cousin's house. This is the magazine collection on his table. Look at that. How to kill gays. And abortion is not right.

Okay, no, that's great. What do you mean by Russian problem? Puppetful. Scott, that's what you wanna be right there as a hunter. I don't wanna be, listen, I don't wanna be sitting there smiling over a fucking big antlers. I wanna go out and know how tough it is, and how fucked up it is to take something's life

because you're gonna eat it because you have to. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go back out and you know, buy a quad and a bunch of guns. I don't wanna do, I wanna own a gun someday later in life, but I don't wanna become a hunter, but I do wanna hunt something to know what that feels like. You know, because we, I have, I've had just food given to me my whole life.

It's something you can do, Bob. You can go hunt. Yeah, I know. You're naming things that are very attainable in schools. I know, I'm not saying, I never said it was fucking, I didn't say I'm going to the moon, and I said I was building my own rocket. Both of you guys are just making something up.

Like I was saying it was hard. I think it's hard, I think it is hard to actually go and when I don't have the desire to go kill Something I'm not that guy. I'm not a hunter, but I want to do it to others dog. Please. I'm gonna hunt this dog down I'm gonna get my new knife that I just had shipped. I did at a custom hunting knife made So you can protect yourself from the now want when I go fly fishing and hiking so you can protect yourself from the... Now, when I go fly fishing and hiking, I like that fly fishing. The hamps are mainly upstate New York

is some great fly fishing up there too. Why do you fly fish? Yeah, my dad, that's all he does. Well, you're dad, but do you fly that? Yeah, we already lied to me once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I didn't actually go fishing, but I was around the fishermen.

I'm gonna take, yeah, yeah, my dad does it all the time. I'm gonna take him fly fishing. Well, you know my dad makes custom all the time. I'm gonna take him fly fishing. You time I not. My dad makes custom fly rods. If I take him fly fishing, he'll just sketch me from the shore. Can I film it? Can we do a movie now? He makes custom fly rods. Yeah. Jesus, do you think I could get one? Yeah. How much? It depends on what you want. He'll put gold on it. He'll do everything. I don't, well, he'll put his, he'll put a ring on it. It'll be like,

yeah, I'm not the head of Latin kings. He'll put a ring on it he'll do everything. He'll he'll put his your port of it. It'll be like Yeah, I'm not the head of Latin Kings put a rim on it. You'll fuck your put your teeth on it. Yo, yo, can you make a yellow and go? Can you put a crown on that bitch? Make it like my teeth I'll give you a dear harvest a dear harvest is like it's like the hunting season the harvest is all of the deer that had been caught That season is not you're not harvesting their you harvesting the main you're using the word wrong. No, I'm not Yeah, you are. No, but we'll have people right in right in all right stop yelling it again. They're not WTS I don't have to read a Puerto Rican today Things you never had to do. Let's got you don't fucking know me

I didn't talk about harvesting a swamp the pee thing, all right, can we please hear about this Russian problem Like killing we dealing cars. There's just war solar. They're stealing cars. You honest do an impression and go to Miami stealing cars, you honest, doing impression and go to Miami. Oh! Yo, do you hear about the Aussies? I would be into Miami in Prop Monday at 3PM. You better make Cousin Faggot another one of your characters. That is my favorite two words. I actually do like that.

Welcome home Cousin Faggot! How's your movie career? It is funny. You can't eat any of the meat because you can't kill it. You're fucking queer. Yeah, you lack those intolerant, you fucking push whack. We made you a soybean salad, you fucking vegan New York jupfaggot. Doesn't help that I have asthma too. Here's some great bleeds, you fucking homo. You need some air, you fucking homo. You want some air you fucking

Merry Christmas open it open it. Oh look what it is a dress you fucking Open mine open mine look you can clean your glasses off your full-ride Get the fuck out of this state you queer I was just kidding't we love you look we got you another faggot come on enjoy the roses sit out you guys can talk you're four right queer faggot what you guys added something look we got you tried back a shirt you fucking homo We got you both the Sundance and a try backer who's gonna be who you queens They make them sleep in a cage when it comes home Fuck you bagging

So what's happening with the Russians Bucky bagging so i would so what's happening with the russians uh... it's just from what i've heard in spokane is just a lot of russians have moved in and they're uh... starting these like they're stealing a lot of cars really that's a weird that they'd move in and it's right there but can is filled with like there's upper class and then everybody else is like just at the middle lower class line and so it's really fun. You're like there's upper class and then there's really middle and lower. There's everybody. Okay

Name everybody middle and lower so in the middle in between middle and he knows it I don't like when you make a Lewis smart You've done it twice you're right. You're right. You've done it twice three times. You're fucking out of here. You're writing You're right. You have done it twice three times. You are fucking out of here. You're writing a mo fucking Faggot on this fucking word mo So So anyway, it's man the way you described it is like exactly the way it's like the mo It's like the way you would envision like someone who lived in the country would would describe a problem like we got a real Russian

Probably I'm only a real really only repeating what I hear when I go back home Oh the Russian stealing my dad's truck got stolen really Yeah No shit All those fly rods and everything out of there Fuckin' I do with the cars that's such a small town what I do They have they build chop shops and they Whatever they do they have to

You can find a stuff because they're stealing like my dad's like 89 Bronco like they're not Well, it's filled up with golden fishing rods. So an 89 Bronco the one that OJ used yeah, that's where that's fucking sought after Bronco They caught the guys and they couldn't even I don't know for what a reason they gave him like a day in jail But it's like just give me his address. I'll take care of the Russian challenge the cops to a poker tournament your fathers your father said that Yeah, I thought you stuck into them to the yeah give me the address. I'll take care of the like challenge the cops to a poker tournament your fathers your father said that Yeah, my not you stuck into them. Yeah, you give me the radios. I'll take care of it I'll tell you guys won't put them in jail. I'll take care of it Don't call my son. He can't take care of shit Cuz he's a fucking faggot in New York my son. I don't put him around just filming my crime

Call my nephews. They know how to do shit modern dad good for nothing son. Yeah, he'd write him a letter like it was fucking There's a guy one is ass hole licked I'll call my son God It's not even in the same tone. It was like a different character It's not even from New York. He was from like fucking Western Pennsylvania different character. It's not even from New York. He was from like fucking Western Pennsylvania. Does the guy want his asshole? Lichtal, go my son. You fucking asshole. You should be, you should get a timeout in the other room. He was a piece of make-up.

You have to go pet the dog. So, it's like you got one too many. So how many of these films have you made before we're gonna take a break soon? I want to, actually, I want to, I want wanna, 19 of these, 19 comics. I've 19 episodes right now, yeah. Wow, that's fucking great. And who was, who were you, I don't wanna say who your favorites,

because I don't wanna put you in the spot, because I know all of them. Tell me who you're, who's, who's Kelly's one of your favorites. I loved the, the Georgia Rosa one made me cry. It was really sad. Kelly, I really hit you. Why?

Why did it make you cry? It was sad, it was like, because it was really hit you. Why? Why did it make you cry? It was sad. It was like, because it was a moment where he lost his shit on stage, because he got emotional. That was the nurse thing, right? Yeah. And I texted him after, and I was like, dude, it was really great. He was like, thank you, dude. But it was just like, what happened to him and it happened to me. And I was like, oh, I know how you feel. That was a really shitty thing. It was just sad, because I felt he's an only child You know like he had no

Talked to He's an adult. He can he had a great set after that. He's fine suck it up Joe to Rose. Oh, it has no I had the footage we went he went to the exact same set at the stand after that it went amazing And it went great. Yeah, yeah Kelly made this into a twilight movie. What the fuck? What are your other? He called all of us and bitch bitch and we laughed at him and we talk to you you fucking jokes thanks and you got over it went and killed again what the

fact that that that when the people that is done the movies of owner who uh... shone patten uh... shone patten uh... gym galvanac is gym galvanac galvanac gym galvanac I'm showing Patent Jim Galpinacus. Oh hang on, Jim Galpinac. Jim Galpinac.

Jim Galpinac. All right, let's do the else read the new one. All right, let me see, let me see, let me see. All right, go. I'll tell you right now. Kurt Braunohler, Ben Krohnberg, the little joke. Roy Scavo, Roy Scavo, Steve A.G.

A.G. We got Andy Haines, Phil Hanley. What you just called this, who? I said Andy. It's just called, hey, are some of your friends comments? um... and he hangs worst film and what she's called this who and he are some of your friends comments and fill in a film member of the whole is in here god is so many fucking dudes with beards and glasses is that a do you have to have bad shitty eyesight be on your fucking

jesus christael think you have to own a radio head album gaffigan's on their interest get your sentence here now that's not it. She's here on a different page. I didn't just want to she didn't fucking all right fucking let me put this on the property.

I gave porn on it. What are the actual page? I'm going to be Andy Hayes wants good because he's preparing for his kind and sit back full. That was a good one. And I like it. Andy's funny. Yeah, he's good dude.

Yeah, you got a lot of fill. I like fill that was I actually watch that one that was great I love I love the um actual um The tone on it is good over the tone is it's almost this subtle um I don't know artsy little alty thing, but it's not it's not pretty dirty But it's not it's not it's not where it's like fuck this. It's like it's actually really it's almost like an apple commercial You know they made with it. it. You know this this I found It's comedian which you're learning how to go on TV. I think what you're trying to say is that it's good

It's I actually enjoyed the ones I watched I watched a little a fill I don't know that feel good moment that y'all just created it actually fucking bug the shit out of it I actually plugged your I just get lower to the floor I can bug the shit out of it. I actually plugged your... Yannis get lower to the floor. Yannis is limboing right now. All right, can I just say though,

this is very, you are an alter guy. I mean, there's a lot of glasses in five o'clock shadows. He didn't want on me. I'm in there. Yeah, you have glasses. I did geth a good old bag. Look at Gaffigan's other, just a Gaffigan. Yeah, he's an alter dude.

He's a original old guy. He has glasses. I'm in an old bag. This is very, this is not, this is, I'm not saying that's a bad thing though. This is a lot of, well, a lot of beards. Not in a lot of glasses that you ask. Oh, who said no?

Yeah, that's the same thing. Just saying who said no. Who said no? Who said no? Who said no? If I was mocked, Marry, you'd tell me. I'll tell you, and then you cry. And it'll be an episode.

Sometimes I don't blame people for saying no, like they get back to me and they're like hey There's the kind of people that just don't even like to do podcasts the way what they do good recovery go ahead Who said no? I'm not gonna say it. Why you really don't want it? I don't think it should Dan Soder said no He's too busy. No, Dan Soder fucking text me every morning. Hey, you want to get started on my episode? Are you gonna do a Dan? Are you gonna do a Dan Soder? I'll throw this iPod out the one That's not mine. So yeah, I'll do it And it I'll throw this iPod out the one where Kelly will not like it. It's not mine so yeah I'll do it. And it's also not an iPod. What if I throw it? It is a giant iPod. You have bad eyesight.

Jim Gaffkin one was really good. They're all really good. I think it's a great. He's a very talented. I think it's really, it's really, the tone of it is, it's hard to catch comedians offstage being interesting. It really is, it's hard to catch that where I think the average person would be like, this is good, you know what I mean? Because a lot of our stuff is, I don't know, it's weird. You know when an average person interviews a comedian,

it's like, so who is your favorite comedian as a kid? Now, Mandel? Perfect, yeah. It's true. I think it works just because I'm a comedian. I don't think I could really take that format and do musicians, because I'd be asking them stupid questions. No, but there's also a natural filmmaking ability that you show.

It's really good. All right, well, keep going. A good filmmaker makes you feel shit. When you look at it, when you're watching, you feel shit. Absolutely, I think that it's, it's too, you look at it. When you watch it, you feel shit. Absolutely, I think that it's too, that you nailed it. It's that you're a comic and you know how to massage us and ask the right questions.

And what's interesting about it, so certain people, and you also know the guys you're doing, which is a big asset too. But the tone and your ability to put together a film and tell a story is great too. I'm not just going to smoke up your ass. I've watched a couple of them. Phil actually, Phil Hanley told me to tweet his out. He just came out a couple weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. And I did. And that's when I watched the second episode. And I thought it was great.

He didn't watch mine, Po. I didn't know that he had this many. I'm actually one of the best I am hurt I almost thought it was well, dude, what the fuck I'm sorry. No, I heard Well, I'm gonna write in the complaint. How about this? I don't even have an episode so go fuck yourself I throw my your hurt on the scots hurt now you take his hurt Lewis your pain will kill somebody No, I will I'm actually gonna watch it. I'll watch it tonight. I will. I liked it a lot. But did you know, like when you were doing the honest, did you know you're gonna do it about him getting shot or to just come up?

Yeah, because he was just, you know, how he fucks you around. He's always a little bit of a bad guy. Can you hear me say, you know, you're on Facebook all day, I just like, oh, you got shot. Let's talk. Speaking of that, I want to bring that up after the break. We're gonna take a little break here, but can you use to me a favor right now so we can just put this little fire out, say no to Kelly that you're not doing one now so she can stop trying to ask Kiss you for the rest of the show. Not doing what an episode on her. Yeah, please. Just say it. Yeah. It's been really hard for Kelly to get together and do a really sad episode.

It's tough. I do do dance. I just get out there and get you heckled. Kelly do want to get together and do a really sad episode Dan's orders And get your heckled you're gonna record her set just that's it If I see a shit about my If I see a dance out of episode I will jump up No, we talked about doing one we just haven't When do I start comedy? Oh Denver, you know I really when I I was Him going sober, but I was feeling like that's kind of cheesy. Oh, yeah So maybe it's a little cheesy, but also if then if like four months from now he's drinking again, then it's like all right

Which bad really sad. Yeah, you got a follow-up Yeah, they just film him in a gutter. Here he is You gotta follow up. Yeah, just to film him in a gutter. Here he is. It's like the banging waitresses. Yeah, excuse me, she has me bus girls. You do want to about how like everyone in his family was died of alcohol poisoning.

Is that true? His dad died of cirrhosis deliver. His grandparents died from alcohol poisoning. His sister's mom's an alcoholic. His sister died in a car accident. Jesus Yeah, I'm not gonna fucking touch that Why? Satter than Joe de Roses of a son. That's what you'd modern comedians all about Yeah, it's about dance. Oh, it's dead. It's about it's about it's about intercom stuff

Like it is about interesting stuff like that. Yeah, that could be good. I don't know All right, hey, what's up? Fuckers. Make sure you go to my website, Robert Kelly live.com. And check out all my dates, my tour dates at Robert Kelly live.com. It's fucking fantastic little website for you. Comics, Fox Woods, 27th, 28th, 29th. You know what, dude, podcast show. Lewis Gomez, Kelly Fistuka,

myself will be there all weekend. We'll do it a bunch of shows at the Fox Woods, the 27th, 28th, 29th. And then we're doing a nasty show on Saturday. So come down, spread the word, Connecticut, Boston, Rhode Island. And we're gonna be doing some maybe A podcast at some point either after one of the shows or before We'll let you know as the date gets closer and then I'm going to just for laughs for a long fucking time

a long fucking time holy shit fucking time the 16th of July To the 28 I don't even know if that's legal. So there you go. Go to my comedy fucking website for more information, bio photos, love, whatever you want. Facebook, Twitter, make sure you spread the word about the show. Come see us live, support us live. It's always great when you, the YKW defense, come up after the show and let us know that you were there. We yell out, dude, at the show. I'll know that you, or a fucking retarded person. So there you go. And go get my app on iTunes, Robert Kelly Live app. That's the podcast on it, all my dates, writing the palm of your hand, and it's award-winning. So check it out, Android is coming soon.

My developer, I think he doesn't talk to me anymore, so I don't want the fuck to go on. So, who the fuck are you gonna do? But get the app if you have an iPhone. And get the Rycast app if you have an iPhone. Get it all, it's all free. Free, free, free, free, free, free, free. Fuck, it's free! God. So there you go. Well, you know what's real interesting is if you

need headphones, you can go to twick.io.com. That's right. twick.io.com is a place where if you need some cheap good headphones for a low price and good quality and expensive. inexpensive. You can go to twick.io.com, a bunch of colors, a bunch of different designs. uh... good headphones for a low price and good quality and expensive and expensive you can now go to tweaked audio dot com uh... bunch of colors bunch of different designs i'm a different styles seven eight maybe nine nineteen different styles now is a lot of different styles a lot of different color

choices and make sure you go there right now and go to tweaked audio dot com the cheap i'm not saying their both so i don't want to get any emails, dude, tweets, dude, I got those headphones and they're not really that good. They're good for the price, okay? If you go now and use the code word, dude, you get 33% off. So that's even a fucking almost half off of our already, on our already cheap price. That's a really, that's a terrible plug. Yeah, well, it's my plug. So shut your face,. I'll turn your mic off and put you out of the room. Anyways, tweakedaudio.com right now. Dude, I don't push the mic away. Ah, tweakedaudio.com. You get free shipping,

you get almost half off the headphones. Buy a few pairs. Don't buy one. Buy two or three. Give me a way to your friends. Keep a pair in the car car keep a pair in your gym bag and make sure there's a lawnmower somebody's doing a lot what the fuck what's happening here here there's not a I smell grass what the fuck are we in the what the mentioned guys and lawnmowers so go to twick.io.com right now Amazon .com and gamefly on the riot cast YKWD page on riot cast. Use that.

If you're buying anything off Amazon, buy it through our link and we make a little coin. That's it. Right there. Just click the link on our page on riot cast and we make a little point. Mark that shit. Yeah, book it. And what Kelly, you keep going to the mic.

What are you going to say? Nothing. Okay. We keep fucking Bob in your head up like a seal looking for a fish Breathe Bobby So make sure you use Gamefly.com. It's the Netflix of gaming The Netflix of game. Do you like Netflix? Do you game? Mix them together and you have GameFly.com. What a beautiful voice. Thank you. Was that an angel? How many sponsors do you intend to lose this week?

We can't lose them. I'm just trying. No, I'm kidding. And make sure you guys are donating. You guys are great. Thank you so much Heather and all'm kidding. And make sure you guys are donating. You guys are great. Thank you so much, Heather and all you guys. Thank you for hitting the donate button. And new studio's coming, great new stuff. I have stickers being made. YKWD stickers. We're gonna give them out for nothing.

Can you put them over Kelly's mouth? Yes, you can, they're 4 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1. Well, we want you. I mean, I don't want you to take these stickers and put them all over your town to take photos of them and then Put them on the YKWD Facebook and Twitter. I don't want that at all. Why would you want to do that? I would silly, but if you ever put one of those stickers on a cop car take a picture of it But if you just happen to a post and it's there

So there you go I would you ever go into the mall and see a baby and put it right on his forehead take a picture Especially if it was just put a reacon one. Never put those stickers over your wife's tits when she's sleeping. Take a picture of it. Never roll one up and stick it in a vagina. Oh, it's hard. And then put your in the stomach and have it shoot out onto the camera lens.

No, I didn't do that. That's okay. All right, so we're back. Janice, what are you doing? Just checking my emails. Get off the phone. One thing I did wanna bring up is that I've been reading your Janice, your Facebook feed and your Twitter feed. You had a big fight this week.

Not a fight, I don't know what it was called. We talked about it last week on the podcast. Internet Wars. Right, with this girl, I don't know who she was. Let's not even name her name. Yeah Jamie Kills. Then Is that an it? No, it's Jamie. No, he's just being a spanner. Who's Jamie? It's a comic it was on the comic right aside like going yeah, man. This is a piece It's like Sam's rape joke with shitty. We mentioned him last week on the podcast. Yes. Yes. Yes Look dude. I'm fucking two weeks away from having a baby my mind's a little occupied

I don't mean fuck Jamie Kielstein. I apologize. I'm not on the ball with everything. Okay? Okay Sorry You kind of have to Throw a dagger at you It'll push the microwave throw those Puerto Rican daggers. Um, this was pretty good. Do you hear about this?

I was away, my girlfriend was into it a little bit. She was commenting, yeah, they're funny. Okay. My girlfriend was commenting on it. She was talking to me about it. She deactivated a Facebook. Yeah, they caused her to deactivate her entire Facebook. Where did my girlfriend deactiv about her Facebook? Why?

I because she was like writing about that whole thing and then she was like, she was somebody left a comment. She's like, okay, fuck this. I'm off. She's been trying to get off it for a while, but those I think isn't a weird that trying to get off Facebook. I hear a lot of people started to say that like it's a drug trying to get off. I'm trying to get off it. I posted it. I'm going to get off it by the end of the week. I'm a big fan of Facebook though. I love Facebook better than Twitter because I can actually hear your whole thought.

I can't I on Twitter. It's like I got a back and forth back and forth. It's like this and it's just Fuck it's just paraphrasing these I go on Facebook and I can read what you honest read this whole big long You know blog of what he thinks and his opinion and then I can go read the other person's and back and forth like Kurt Metzger I love reading his Facebook. I met her could never use Twitter. He doesn't I love it. I love Facebook Kurt Metzger's Facebook posts are a national treasure. You said that. Oh, yeah You're repeating your tweets now. Well my buddy said that. I thought it was the funniest thing when he said that. Yeah, it was probably original when he said it to him. See your penny rest.

She was crushed. I didn't tweet it. He said it to me. Can you not be original in life? I had on my podcast. I actually wasn't even my buddy thought. My buddy read it somewhere. Then he said it to me.

Listen guys, I'm going to be a Miami. Oh, when's that 2 p.m.? Ah. Ah. Ah. p.m. How many Latino women are actually going to show up at this Wednesday? I hope it sells out for some white comic, some magician. What the fuck's going on? There's a bunch of regains out there with orange hair. So I mean, was your girl on the, what side was your girl on?

Was she on the comic side or the girl? So, I don't even know because I didn't read her post. You're honestly probably read it. I'm glad you're close. Who's your girlfriend, your girl? Interesting. Well, Sarah Schaefer. Oh, I don't know you're doing Sarah Schaefer.

Yeah. She's got a TV show on him. She's doing way better than you. Nikki Glazer. No, it kills me every day. No, I don't know. I don't even know. I get I just am so tired of every month now.

Comics need to fight with a blogger. And I'm like, really guys? I thought you had jokes. To come into that point where that's what I was saying. The honest before we walked up here, I was like, I can't get into on air. I can't get into fights anymore because I'm wasting so much time. I can't, I'm holding back to comment because I know I'll get into an argument

and it's just my life is getting wasted. My favorite part of the whole thing was when they tried to drag Pat Noswald into it. Molly Neffel wrote an article on Slahn, that dragged Pat Noswald into it and Pat Noswald was like, oh really and then when he just you know you know that they were all hoping because he's such a patron saint yeah up to them that they were all hoping he was gonna say

something and he just said you know they were like so what do you think and he just wrote one to eighty went rape is a hundred percent wrong speech is a hundred percent free uh I'm really getting sick of him being really perfect. I'm trying to drag him into this. He nailed it. He really does nail it. He nailed it on the bombing and he nailed it. The Boston bombing. He nailed that too. Some of them nailed it at JFL with his speech about how the industry's changed. That was the most amazing speech. Have you heard? Have you heard the NILO web series?

You should go listen to it. He nailed it on the WTF podcast as well. I'm just saying. No interviewing him. He's a beast. He's a good comic. You know what? I'm not, I never met him, but I have no problem.

It's just not, the whole thing is just nonsense. Explain what happened. Just real quick again. It just really fast. I'll explain to. Explain what happened. Just real quick again. It just really fast. I'll explain to you exactly what happened. Go. Yeah, because it becomes like a witch hunt and there's a lot of misinformation.

And I love shit like this because I'm fucking compulsive about details. Sam or Ralph tweeted out, he was doing a cringe show, which obviously is an edgy show. So he said in a tweet uh... comes to me at the cringes show if you've if you've been raped or molested don't you this might not be for you everybody else you should be fine he's trying to promote it make fun of being edgy and it wasn't the best promotion obviously

but she saw it because that her existence is about seeking shit out like that to just a bit she far did she follow him she somehow found it of she somehow found it maybe she did a search for like rapists weird weird she's a feminist blogger that's her thing she needs to seek out things to to attack and fight against and so she she saw that and then she she targeted him and went to the show to see his act and he has those couple jokes All of which I know I've performed many times with Sam the last joke. He hasn't written in a long time

Well, no the last jokes a new joke and she totally misrepresented the joke Wait the jokes about him trying to get a girl to fight another girl because that girl like smacked him Or was rude to him or something during this thing to bar and it's a really funny well constructed story that's hilarious that I saw it's pretty new and I've seen it crush and like the other jokes he has which he's been telling for as long as I've known him and one of them about the the no which I did the other night at bar four when I was giving a speech about this and the whole fucking crowd laughed with me just quoting his joke so So, but you're full of him. I have to joke for him as well.

Yes, you are right. I'm gonna tweet from your friend. My God, I was giving a speech. You're bringing it, wait a minute, first of all, you don't give speeches at comedy clubs. No, I stopped. It's not a club. He's down the heat show. My show I do it in a fucking one.

I'm relaxed. This is my show. It's not the fuck I'll steal his ass out. I'm a fucking joke I want. You're holding my head in your hand right now. It is true. And then I also did talk. I explained the context of what happened with Tosh.

Did you do Tosh's joke? And then I said what he'd know, I just said what happened. And I said what he said. And everyone fucking laughed. And I said, you see, you can't remove nuance and context to what happened. When you remove it and you write in a block, of course it's going to come off course and harsh and whatever. But Sam's doing those jokes with two of you. when you remove it and you write in a block of course it's gonna come off course and harsh and whatever but joe sams

can I just can I explain something because they work out jokes work when patrice on neil i think patrice nictopalo uh... maybe louis e.k. got asked to do a battered woman's benefit and they were told and patricerice has, you know, she had 10 minutes at the time on, like, you know, the angry dragon white guy shit. It's called white guy sexual shit. And he had the, was the angry pirate where he goes to the soul thing where he, yeah, he's coming to girls eye.

And he kick him in the shit. Kick him in the shit and she hops up and down going, arg, arg, holding her eye. Argg, arg. holding her eye, arg, arg, arg. And the funny part is, when you go, she's hopping up and down on one leg, holding her eye, going arg, arg, that's the funny part, arg, the word arg, they flipped out,

they got the worst photo in the world of Patrice, like he just ran from, you know, raping somebody, who just hot and sweaty and fat, and they'd use that photo in the article. But the girl what she did was, she didn't understand the joke. She actually wrote the joke out word for word, so it read funny, so at the end,

it went and you hop up down one leg and say, are, so when you read it, you're like, are, that's funny. It just read funny, you know what I mean. That's funny. It just read funny. You know what I mean? This idiot, so everybody who read the article is, that's a pretty good fucking joke. So it's like, and it can go the other way too,

is what you're saying is that you can't really, when you write it down like that, you can't get the tone of it. You can't get the timing of it, and you can't get the meaning of a joke coming from text. Because sometimes you can. Especially somebody who's angry about it in the first part. Yes, who goes in there, looking to fulfill her agenda.

And that joke is more about the one joke, the other joke she quoted, is much more about political correctness than it is actual rape. It's about having sex with a black girl. She kept using the N word. So obviously the audience is all thinking, he's talking about Nigger, and then he goes, goes no and it ends up being much worse about rapes So it's just a play on so what and then correct. Okay, so what she goes and she attacks him

But the you did you have a problem with her intent her it was almost like she was setting out to actually, was it that she was defending? What was the gist of her argument? Yeah, I kind of got, I didn't read it. I read a lot of your stuff and I read some of her as a little bit, but I got that maybe it was her, she was going to attack somebody. She was playing with it, trying with this guy. Did you argue with Sadie Doyle, or you argued with somebody else?

I was arguing with Sadie Doyle. Oh, I didn't see you at all. Yeah, on Twitter, you guys got back full of fun. We going back and forth, me and then I did a little me and Jamie Kielstein went a little back and forth. And it was all very respectful. She tried to say I wasn't respectful, which wasn't true, which was hilarious,

because that was all she had, because I totally beat her hard. Well, I read something that you said that she quoted. You quoted her. Yeah, I erased a tweet because it didn't fit or something and she thought I said, I'm gonna force you to fuck Sam or Railway, it doesn't even make sense. I was quoting, does it force to fuck Sam?

It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't, my eyes. I could make you fuck. I'm gonna have him film it. But it was all cleared up because then somebody said, no, it was all cleared up because I was saying something else. I was saying. Yeah, you fuck Sam or Railway.

Right, so I have to. Not that though, you were quoting it was all clear because I was saying something else. I was saying yeah, you fuck Sam are all right Right, so not that though you a queen quoting something that she wrote like I My I was gonna go in there and fuck with this guy. What was it? What happened is I Took a direct quote from her from her article Which says that you know All with the intention of going in and publicly humiliating this guy so she wrote that in the article so in other words she sang her intention obviously i don't have to explain to you because she just said it

her intention was to humiliate him publicly and i said that's ironic because that's exactly how rapist get off right by humiliation that's what the whole that's the that's what's under so her intentions without even knowing what was happening Without even knowing the jokes or knowing she was going there and her intentions were to humiliate this guy She her intentions were to target him like she this is what I find ironic, okay Rapes about power rapes about power and rapists get off by humiliating

I'm not comparing her to a rapist on a moral level. I think the motivations were similar in the sense that it was a power trip on her end. She targeted him, much like rapists do, they target a victim, she stalked him, much like rapists do. And then she publicly humiliated him. I think that's a rapist with a lawnmower. That's just a fake lawnmower. That's how you're looking targeting women right now.

So I just thought that that was you can't not... It's got like a four by four feet patch of grass. It's a seven times. It's a wood chipper. They're actually getting rid of the dog right now. You can't not appreciate the idea of crying out front. No, I could have helped it. My hand. My hand. I could have saved it. I had a show. It got cancelled, but I know how to help dogs. I can't. What? She just turned him into

Vinnie Bubberino. That's just a silver impression. It's all I got. I love dudes and dogs. I'm Justin Silver. See, we have. That's a real one.. Hey guys, I'm your mom. My my my lip is a wet all the time because I lick them. I want to kiss myself if I could. So I mean just say you got to appreciate the irony of it. But her fucking attention is weird man. When someone goes out hunting it's almost like she was hunting to get a story. She was my harvesting comedians to find. Will we please look it up please. Just find it harvesting. Oh, what are you looking up?

Oh, looking up the argument that he had with her. I just think if you're gonna target a comedian, why go after a small fish like that? Why not go after Louis CK, who has a rape joke that goes exactly like this? Well, no, shut up, let him say it. Let me say it. Louis CK, and I had this argument with a guy on Twitter.

Louis CK's joke goes, and she gives Louis CK a pass in her article She says he's progressive and he listens Louis CK has a joke that goes like this. It goes those a little something like this Great I think you know rapes wrong dude over a rap Yeah, rap is wrong Unless of course you want to have sex with somebody and they won't let you, then what other choice do you have? Good, good, good, good. It's a funny joke, but it's also something that you could quite literally hear Rapist saying or joking about, you know?

Yeah, that's one of those jokes where you read Rapist joke. Yeah, for real. Dude, you see that chick? I got like if a rapist was sitting with his friend, he'd be like, I think rapes wrong. Unless, of course, the girl doesn't want to have sex and one of the choice yeah so that that's a type of joke where when you read it it's either you either read that and get it or you don't get it all you go that's the most horrible statement ever well then you don't have a sense of humor that's it well that's because you're in a comedy club and you're supposed to understand that they're jokes if you if you render us only tough to happy and funny subject matter

then you're defining the joke out of existence then you're a redundancy you want me to do a joke about cake then you have common then you have comedy central and everything on MTV man code fucking do women are not that bad man code fuck you why don't you put a man on man code and let's talk about those dizzies. Sores on man. Talk about those fucking boob tits. Fucking dead. This girl's crazy.

Yeah, follow me on Twitter. I'm young and good. Yeah, fuck off. I want to put a man on there. Shitty hairline. A fucking dead tunnel on a pod get me on there that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that like she demanded a response from him right and uh... he wrote a response she said she was gonna put a public response he put a public response and she didn't publish it she she said she was waiting for it and she never mentioned that he gave him my question is this if you know this lady this is my big shot if you know that you got what did you question my question is this and let me preface it by saying uh... getting fired up

uh... i do i like. Why would you risk? Why would anybody respond to this lady if clearly she's out she's hunting that's a valid point Why would he even give her any lip service? Goes back to the beginning of the podcast where you were on me when you were on me like Yes, yeah, so why don't you admit that you're a fucking pushwack and set it up? No, you That I think is the bigger point there is like if and I'm not of course you admit that you're a fucking pushwack and set it up. We all are. We all are. I want to hit it. I think that is the bigger point there is like if and I'm not of course I'm sure I

haven't heard Sam's joke. I'm sure it's amazing. But if you're going to go out there and do material like that you're going to get we live in the society where people comment on everything. So you have to this is just this comes with the territory. I agree with you, but on a bigger scale this is something that has been repeatedly been happening to come to bigger name commons like toge where it's like if you say something like there's this comedy police

that i shouldn't respond to any of it but it became huge news though it's only uncertain sub-dice leena donum had to apologize for her comments about uh... canadian serial killers it's become this thing where they have those yet uh... character you know two famous ones to the most famous serial killers, it's become this thing where they have those Carat you know two famous ones through the most famous serial killers in rapists. What's it? And it's Karen homoka and what was the other guy's name? Paul Bernardo Paul Bernardo All right, relax you know all the you got it

You know I don't like I don't like it how excited you got when you see was forced to apologize and Tosh was poised and it's happening. I'll tell you something. It's this it's certain subjects rape molestation pedophilia you know you have a see the videos on YouTube of the Scientology one of their go-to things who people who go against them is they start like on when when people are videotaping them, asking them questions about Scientology and, you know, how it's fake, they go right to pedoph... What do you, you touch kids? And they start saying that shit,

and they start screaming, you're a pedophile, to the person, those topics, when someone says you're making fun of rape, you are you making fun of children being raped that's not true you but you get it's a scare the reason why you acknowledge it is because it fucking petrifies you it's like wait a minute Fuck you. I'm not I'm not you you want to defend it. That's why people defend it That's why people just don't go have fuck it, but it's not just relegated to those few topics people get offended at all types of shit Like I can tell Joe got a retarded kid somebody gets upset. Yeah, but it's not I guess comedy's not for you and then move on Exactly a retarded kid I fat people you could get people get offended at everything

I heard retarded kids can't download podcasts. I don't want the members fans. Yeah, they can it's just the wrong one and they drew over the iPad they can it's just the wrong one and they drew over the iPad. It starts to become. And that's fucking wrong. My brother's retarded. Yeah, well fucking goes cut his hair straight. That's really. That's really. Is he really?

Yes, yes. First of all, I don't have day brother. I have. I have a gay brother and a retarded brother. I wish they were the same guy. I have a week. First of all, they are. I gave a retarded kid, and he'd be like,

hello, hey, you look good. I have a retarded past my whole life, because I live with six retarded men. And they're not retarded, it's mentally handicapped. Right, I was joking. I understand you were joking. I love retarded people, but I made- they used to make fun of themselves!

When I swear to God, when I live with them, they were high functioning. So they'd come in, I'd bring a girl in and they'd come over and start hugging, and they'd grab some titty. And I'd be like, Barry, stop. And she'd be like, no, it's okay, I understand. I'm like, no, he understands you have,

and he'd look at me and go, he'd wink at me like, ah, they you use their retardation to get titty feels and he knew what he was doing and nobody's blocking against them you know see but i'm saying that certain rape for a guy to be it for when you look in some chick with glasses in a short haircut is calling you you know

coming after you with rape allegations. So that's some scary shit Yeah, but the problem is is that they they say like the you know rape all the time When you use a word like rape or racist it loses the effect of the word So now it's just thrown around so much that it's gonna lose it's supposed to be really powerful word But girls just say it all the time I don't think any words must be really powerful. No, I think this isn't it. I don't think this is funny It's power. I don i think this isn't a i don't think this is funny it's power i don't think it's funny i don't think comedians should be arguing with each other about it i think there should be a united front

i think everyone likes to make jokes until they're targeted and then nobody knows what sam's feeling right now sam's been feeling his reputation that he hates women and what why do you have such anger towards women all the shit she was accusing him of so you know i'm saying and you as a young comedian get your reputation tarnished and people start affiliating his rapes scandal fuck that bitch and every comedian should should to it should to the line and say look we don't support rape culture you want to know why because chicks don't get raped by comedians if you want to go to with well if you want to go to do let me just finish this let me just finish this stop if you want to go to with well if you want to go to do let me just finish this let me just Please go if you want to go and say there's rape culture in locker rooms and stuff

I support that because you know what chicks actually do get right there But we we are comedians we go up there and bear our soul and accept the dark nature as shit and express it Exactly the opposite of what rapists do rapists use Shakoner and lies and pretend to be normal to trick you into their trap and then they fucking rape you all right Please explain shakonari to Lewis right now Trickery thank you. There's actually been there was one comedian Vince champ his name is Vince champ. Yeah He raped he raped chicks. He was a serial rapist His act was like what his act was fucking squeaky clean

That's why when a woman gets raped. I'm not gonna be looking at fucking Jason Rouse or Sam or else it's gonna be It's gonna be Nancy. It's gonna be fucking Keith Alberstadt. That's who it's gonna be Just kidding people. I'm joking. Keith Alberstadt raped a woman in 94 dude. Stop it. I'm joking I'm bored. Here's here's the problem though. The problem is this in good speech and where do you use all the cliche tags we have to have a front together put all the line and and we have to manifest our reality into the society of people as we know them and sign the declaration of independence. She was a shithead though because she didn't want that publicity so she said do you want to answer she just let it go he's like I'm just going to ignore it blah, blah, blah.

And then when he didn't do what she wanted, she put out that fucking stupid article and then he had to respond. And I just think it was a trap for Sam. Like, wasn't that great? Right now everybody listening to the podcast just went, oh, shut up, Kelly. And Kelly says more than 10 words together.

I'm like, no, I'm kidding, Kelly. I love this one. And she says stuff like, you know, women are sick of. What, women? Me. I'm kidding Kelly. I love that. She's speaking and she says stuff like, you know, women are sick of. What women? Me? I'm not. Shut up.

You're making us look bad. You're making us look like boys. But here's the point though. Here's the thing. You're absolutely right. As comics. It's like when you're doing your show, I love when you're doing your show and you're saying some fucked up shit.

Just terrible funny shit. And they're laughing. And then all of a sudden you say something and they go Oh, I'm like whoa wait a minute man Fuck you you with me on boom boom boom and you can't make that choice Once you laughed at those three things you have to fucking I'm a comic. I'm not making a speech you assholes Stop stop snapping yourselves out of something thinking that I just said something

real. I did, but it's in a funny content. So everything I'm doing up here is funny. And that's our job. Our job is to constantly make them think about, right, and roll. And Kelly's job is to bring food to tables. Stop it, Lewis. That's not fucking funny.

And that hurts me when you truthfully tell Kelly Kelly I'm just kidding but you do smell like a fucking kitchen listen you smell like pussy and am this one woman wrote a blog this comic I think she's in LA and I actually liked it because she was talking about how she was like she was like you know what really mad she said no she said you know you know the real is she was like kind of rape jokes are kind of they're getting hacky You know, they're becoming like fucking airplane and I was like I get that I feel yeah because her blog was like well-rounded and honest She was like some rape jokes. I've live some I've laughed at yes, and some have even made me feel insecure as a woman It was a well-revery well-rounded opinion that I was I respected that I enjoyed that blog

You don't like it like that is that Lindy? I didn't read it Lindy West? No. No, Livy, Livy, a Skottosol. Yeah, but we know, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, rape, molestation, whatever. It's either gonna work or it's not, but if you're gonna take the risk of going down that road, like I have that joke in my act

where I go, it took me a long time to get over my misogynistic ways and that Madonna horror complex with my wife. I had to literally stare at my wife's pussy and go, you're not my sister, you're not my sister, you're not my sister. And it doesn't matter what I say pussy and go, you're not my sister, you're not my sister, you're not my sister. And it people, it doesn't matter what I said, they go, oh, it doesn't work. It's never gonna work, but I tried it five or six times and it's just an awful image

that I'm giving these people. So, but go off a bid, somebody who I was molested by my, you can't, I don't think I could give them the floor or fuck them, fuck them, block them, goodbye, fuck you. You don't get comedy. And if Sam did that and everybody else just ignored her as you say, instead of going up against her and trying to teach this crazy person maybe, crazy to you and me, right? Because she believes what she's saying

And we think what she's doing and saying is fucking out of this world if you just let her go Would anybody give a fuck about it? Which he just fade away and now she's probably got more followers She's built a little army or yeah, she's had people she's not she's a non blogger already She yeah, okay, but wasn't like she was- Yeah, but how many more people does she have now because of all you motherfuckers? Because you got a lot of people following you. All of all of us comics, we have a lot of people, not just average motherfuckers, we don't have 150 followers.

The most comics have a couple thousand at least. Yeah, but I got a lot more people telling me that I was making sense, more sense to you. Yeah, absolutely, but even the people that you didn't, are those people that went over to her? I mean, I don't know, I just fucker. Move on. I don't really have a problem with somebody writing blogs. I think everyone, everyone is right to go and be a fucking fan. If you're a blogger and you're, you just want to go watch a show and write a review of it,

more power to you. I have a problem with the comics that jump on that fucking side. You know that before, he said there needs to be a knight in front. That's just truth man comics should be able to fucking literally just joke about whatever they're gonna joke about Literally without any literally Literally really dude. It's the it's the last batch of literally the last fashion of free speech I don't remain that way yeah, I'm a little more man to size of that much I just say look there's fucking good jokes about everything in the world, you know what I'm saying?

But it has to start out somewhere. but we here's a deal if it all comes down to you that is pussies in this facts like it you cannot like a joke i would love it if we all accepted that as the as the and like she's got a point we move on there's a fact and those are my only two options but you just can't you can't pretend to ignore the fact that fascism always disguises itself as moral indignation Jay okay, I love it. It's the truth. I'm in my weapon of trouble Fascism always disguises itself as moral outrage and you know fascism is the wolf and moral outrage is the fucking sheep's clothing that it wears Well, here's oh yeah, can I say this though? Stagnore the lady yeah, what I'm saying is here's a exactly what if you just ignored her and she

Wait a second shut up He didn't nobody did everybody highlighted her and boosted her up on your Nobody did. Everybody highlighted her and boosted her up on your thing. What if you just ignored her? Why couldn't you just let that one go? I can't answer that because by the time I got involved it was already going so I don't know That would be my advice to anybody if a fucking blogger targets you and wanting a good advice Just fucking either right back to her privately. I guess you don't get it. Sorry. Yeah better luck at your next I'll use it. I look or just don't write her back. It's kind of good publicity I mean look I know Sam's going through some shit

I know like it's not actually that easy. He's gonna like hate mail like fucking death threats and shit It's not cool, but the truth of the matter is it raised his profile in his own way and I mean whatever dude feminist ladies aren't gonna kill when big J got that fucking That petition when he did the dog joke on a Fallon, they had a petition, dude, we all just fucking sent the petition out to everyone to sign it to make Jimmy Fallon apologize to Jay, but it's hilarious. Or no, Jimmy Fallon apologized for Jay

for having Jay on. Did he? No, because not like 400 people signed the petition, it wasn't enough. Yeah, but that shit, I mean, that, you know how hard it is going to be for edgy comics to get on Fallon from now on on the tonight show because of that shit. Honestly, God, that's what makes fucking the industry for us.

Fucking go just right down the middle. We don't want to deal with it. Good stand up isn't really meant for you to be anyone. So we just ignore it and let it keep happening or should we say something about it and reason and actually have arguments You're absolutely because that's how it starts, okay? I you know what you know Hicks couldn't do is set on fucking you make this because he had an abortion joke and there was an abortion group

That was a big a valid point you're right do you do you do you step up and say something or do you just ignore it? I would pick your battle. I would say look look man i would say fuck her and just move on but i don't know if it was me maybe i would fight back i don't i don't know it's it's you should get more recent to be on the other side of the argument with them it's tough man feminist blogger from Milwaukee maybe block her if you're from home comes at you maybe talk about it where is she from i don't know dude but you know is she from New York salon is a major? Gazette. I mean, salon's a major Gazette. You know, what?

Yes, salon online live in the modern world. I'm not talking about what's a Gazette salon in a media outlet I'm mad. You're a magical about online Passion right now, bro. I the shit gets me around because it's I can see through the bullshit I know human psychology. I know that underneath that underneath there's dark there's dark motivations on fucking that side i understand for every action there's an equal but opposite reaction she's just as extreme what listen to body alright all right but i'm saying i think scott in in in me

i think there's a one once you give something some you give them the power i think people are out there looking for that looking like how it's turned used to say I love when people hate me But so hang on let me finish my fucking point you okay. I'm so yapping ass all Greek All right Take the mic out of the stage. You just fucking yapping you keep going because you're holding it Take a fucking party a hand now. Morton down to junior. What I'm saying now you fucked up my thought because I said something funny and everybody

laughed and I liked it and he accolades me to feel good to my brain shuts down and I'm just like more and now I want to eat what happened. All right. What I'm saying is that you're giving her You're giving her all the your power your power is your voice your power is the people that follow you on Facebook and Twitter Your fans that's how power as comedians the people that appreciate us and follow us the people that listen to this Podcast the people that go to our shows the people that follow us on Twitter and Facebook this podcast, the people that go to our shows, the people that follow us on Twitter and Facebook, that's our power. So when we need them to show up at our gigs in Miami on a Tuesday at three o'clock in the

afternoon, once every three weeks, because you fill a niche. You, when you need people to watch your videos so that PBS or somebody can go, hey, people actually like this guy, that's your power. That's my power is when they show up at the show, say, I'm a listener of the podcast of a big fan. That gives me power. When you take that and give it, now you're sending all those people to this girl, to attacker or maybe agree with her, but probably not. I just don't know if that's a, you know, for this girl,

if it was CBS, if it was 60 minutes, if it was a big deal, if he was in a court case, if something tragic might happen, like he might not be able to do comedy again, or he was gonna get fired from something, maybe. But if it's just some blogging chick looking for attention by going and finding it, she went and found it. She went and raped on a Googler.

Whatever the fuck she found that tweet from Sam Hume-Rell, right? And then went into the show and bought a ticket and then attacked him. It was all planned. And then she got what she wanted because good or bad people listen to her She started a dialogue about rape she tried shouldn't have been started because it Sam's not up there defending rape. It's a joke He's he's trying to enlighten people with laughter it with fucking awful topics. And we took it down that road. We went and played her game.

We went and did her game. We're blogger. She turned you into a blogger. She turned everybody into bloggers. And we blogged back and forth about how smart and what words we used. And it's like, that's what the fuck. Now she's just sitting there smiling. I get to write and I, ooh, what do you say? And what do the next comedian?

Yes! Now we invented the game for them. Now they get to play. Now they get to play. If you, if the game has already started though. But if you, the game had already started. The game has been started for years. Trace Morgan, one guy went home and blocked something

and then took, yeah, okay, blog, but he actually had audio. That's also just gonna be part of the game no matter if you're gonna If you're trying to be famous and you're gonna say anything now slightly questionable You're gonna have to apologize to somebody at some point. Yeah, I'm gonna see if you're career Look at what happened Anthony Jussle neck. He took that tweet the down. Right away, can you blame him? No, the guy is trying to be famous, trying to make fucking a lot of money in this business, which is, you know, there's 10% of us actually get there. Okay, he's doing what we're trying to do. He got the shot, he's got the show, he's in there.

He's making it, he put out a tweet that he thought was funny. It turned on him and they were like, take that, I guarantee, take that that he did, he took it that. He put it up like, as they were clearing body parts. You gotta wait. Which is, I thought it was poor taste, but he has the right to write that. Of course it does.

And I think he should have left it up. Well, he did it up. No, I don't think he should have left it up. I think he would have got fired if he would have left it up. If you would have given him a push, I would have not tweeted it, dude. Okay, I'm not that crazy.

Okay, so people were giving a shit. As a comedian, you gotta know, you can be like, there's a, come on, dude. Not while the shit is happening. But I think comedians, we're all learning that it's not the same, it's a different time. It's not what it was when prior came up. It's not what it was when Seinfeld came up.

There, your shit is immediately out there. It's just gonna, you'll never know when you're being filmed or recorded. You never know what everything you say is out there. You could be at a table now and someone can record what you're saying to other comics. But no, but that's a different thing. It's like, he knew it was out there. He put it out there. Okay, but that's what I'm saying though, technology, but that's a different thing. It's like he knew it was out there.

He put it out there. Okay, but that's what I'm saying though, technology. It's all part of it. It's all part of it. He put it out there. So now there's another outlet for you to be funny. He might have said that on stage 20 years ago, and it would have been a gun of laugh.

But I think we have to make a decision. With the day, the day, two days after September 11th, all of us were on stage making fucking jokes about September 11th. Yeah. What'd you say two weeks after two days two days are two days it's still not while september eleventh is happening you know they're still clearing bodies out of the buildings at that point i think i made a joke while the the second plane as it was going in and went holy

shit that's not a fucking bobby was going to nine thirty five a.m. show at a college the point is What is this a magic trick the point is it is comedians responsibilities to always push it and but you know And yeah, you can't when someone complains it's part of the deal But when you target someone and call them like a violent, you know, I think I Support violence my thing is this I think as you're not you're not saying this a comedian I think we're making a joke that is this, as you're not saying this is a comedian. I think we'll... Making a joke that didn't work.

I get it, but what I'm saying is I think we're learning a different way to be as comedians. We have to learn, we're in a different environment that we've never been in with the tweets and the Facebooks and the Instagrams and the Vines and everybody in the crowd has a fucking high deaf recorder. I mean, it's crazy. We're learning how to be now in a different environment.

And we're gonna have to take all these bumps and bruises and people are gonna have to take the hits. And we're gonna learn to, like you said, I wouldn't say that. Cause you're really gonna have to believe in what the fuck you say and believe in the joke in the future Because it might get out there. Well, that's what's fucked up though because that kills the process of standup No, it doesn't because you know you used to be able to literally just go up there with fucking seven premises and just go let me talk

Yeah, but no, but that you believe that's funny if you believe that's funny You write it on a piece of it. I don't just write random stupid that I don't... I'm not gonna go up there and just say shit that I don't believe. I don't talk about rape. I don't talk topical shit. Because I don't give a fuck about the world. I care about my world. I don't care about what the fuck is happening in Israel. I don't have jokes about Obama.

That's not my thing. I don't have jokes about rape. Because I don't... I don't think about rape. That's not in my world. Okay, so what I talk about is what I believe about. That's my life. So when you're going up on stage, you shouldn't just going up on stage because you think you need topical shit. Find out what comedian you are and what you believe in and what you really want to talk about and that's what you should be bringing up there.

And in the future, I think then you'll be be able to fall back on look I that happened to me Well, I believe in that or I thought it was funny Yeah, but like you said sorry didn't get it. There's other comics who aren't like that though Like somebody like a tell the called hacks that's not like you and your friends first Well, I literally did I only talk about me on stage, but I'm talking about people like a tell You know, that's the problem and fucking ring How do you say that in Spanish? Bullying I don't know how to do that

I know it Lewis push it away. Don't push it away. I'm sorry I'm not My point is there's observational comics is people like I'm not saying that I'm not saying they're not really talking about I'm not saying that dummy you're me. I'm saying find out what comic you are I'm not saying you have to be a guy that talks about you. David tell doesn't. He, but he believes in what he's about to say is funny. David, come up to you go. What do you think about this?

What do you think that's funny? Do you got something on that? He's always trying to find out is this good enough to bring up there? And then he does it. And by the time he does it, he believes in it. He just randomly go up with thoughts. It's called the, writing a joke.

Whatever comic you are, whether you're a set up punch, whether you're crystal clean, whether you're talking about crazy weird shit, a towel, I don't give a fuck what you are. If you're going up there and rants, and just gonna rant, you gotta believe in what you say. You gotta know what you're doing. I just know if comics aren't out there

talking about the dark side It's a reality human nature. Then there's gonna be a lot more of the bat of that bad stuff Well, that's what's what's what what what what comedy's on TV right now? I mean comedy on TV is It's edgy the edgy comedy is always done with a fucking link. It's always done with a pretty face or You know, it's you know, it's, you know, it's not real. You know, it's almost a character. You don't see guys like, uh, like Bill Hicks on stage. You don't see that. You don't see a guy going up there just like a stand-hope is not, he's, that, I should be able to fucking see stand-hope on TV. I should be able to

see Rogan on TV. I should be able to see Rogan on TV. I should be able to see Burr on TV on Louis on TV. They got to go and film their specials and put them out there. Who are the guys that the companies have to buy? They don't produce it. They have to buy their shit. It's those guys. Those are the funny guys of our generation. I believe those are the guys, the Patrison Niels the the Colin Quinn's the fucking that aren't saying But if you look on TV if you look on comedy So you guys are on TV though, you look on comedy. Yeah, they're on TV, but they're on TV Not on not on the tonight show not doing a full minute spot not doing comedy central

It's all right down the fuck and then I went sit down time on Letterman. What yeah sit down He didn't have yeah, I mean interview. interview yet but it wasn't comedy you couldn't do comedy they didn't understand up every one of those guys with the exception of rogan at a half hour comedy center yeah i mean they've been on t i think what's not now now not now it's changing now but now that's all what's on TV now the more comedians so they can pick and choose which guys they can be casted in

the funny young indian guy or very it's very down the middle now comedy you're right you're totally right there's no arguing yeah it's very down the middle it's there's no but no comment i can i've watched nothing nobody seems different that it's stand-up isn't on TV every night proves your point that guy is like so funny there's no but they think of those guys that i just mentioned. They all, they're all completely different people. They stand out from each other. You look on, you watch Comedy Central.

It's the same guy. It's the same girl. I mean, really? Tell me who the fuck stands out. I think there's a lot of people getting shows and shit. I'm not saying shows. Look, the shows are fine. I love Amy's show.

I'm talking stand up. I'm not saying that these people are bad either. Please don't say, don't think that I, I'm just saying that they don't stand out from each other. I think it's a very safe time for comedy on TV, where before you had people that were different than other, it was but it's changed and it was like that but now look at jessel next fucking doing

the nine eleven babies shumors did a rape joke on television on com is a exchange the the the reaction is happening right now to the all seen that happening right now it's happening right now say what do you mean the rea the the the comedy you're talking about that safe kind of let's talk about star wars and just goofy and surreal shit Yeah, that dominated off for like the You know 2000 to kind of 2010 that decade is now the reaction to that is happening right now

Schumer Jezel Nick Huh, Josh? Josh the movie was truly racist Billy Billy. I mean, it's happening right now I mean, you know you fucking did it dude did a 9-11 thing where he had the babies in the towers And he was here comes the airplane and then they then exploded I mean the other night Amy Schumer Wallace was all going on the the coincidence is couldn't have been perfect She told the rape joke right on Comedy Central and you know I just felt bad for Sam Morrell that he was targeted that this chick had a little bit of a name as a blogger

And that she aligned his name and that other comics or who people who call themselves comics whether they be male or female We're ganging up on him when I feel like comedians are a real easy target man And I think we shouldn't be maligned for talking about dark stuff. Here's that twice use that word twice we should be I like it once we should be celebrated for a attempted levity we're attempting levity we're not trying to hurt you Intent is everything intended. I'm like you use the end word if you're calling someone then word the intent means everything and I say you're a fucking nigger means everything and I mean you're a fucking nigger I'm out of here. I thought I was gonna be like that's bad But if I say like yo you my nigger is it is everything all right? All right, so with jokes we did a whole show last week on that word. Let's not I've been using too much

I got too comfortable with that word actually called my wife a nigger She was like, whoa, motherfucker. Yeah, and remember Lenny Bruce was using those written, they put him in fucking jail, dude. Oh, stop. We deserved it. He deserved it. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I was about to hit him.

Dude, that's how it starts, though. It's a slippery, slippery, almost popped out. It's a, I just want to say to feminist blog. There's so much. Comedians intent is to make you laugh. It's not to hurt you. Not tell you, though. If you do hurt, maybe you It's not to hurt you. Not tell you that if you do it hurt

Yes, maybe you need to not be so sensitive Maybe you need to know that it's a horror job and sometimes it goes wrong But that doesn't mean that comedian is trying to our job is to make you laugh and to finger pop you in a shitty bar in Brooklyn Late at night that also went or a photo booth. Yeah, it's my show We just want to stick it in and see how tired it is because you have middle-aged years because your blogs are tight woman. There's so many fucking blogs and so many people saying shit and like you said just Fishing just looking for somebody they can pick on to get a reaction If this lady if nobody would have responded to her and she would have moved on

Even the people on salon that read that are not going to change the comedy world They're not it's a good point You know maybe the 30,000 people that read it, but it's after the fact that it's too late Yeah, you gave you gave you gave it I know but I'm saying in the future Yes, you gave it hang on you gave it you gave it you gave it I agree listen you gave it you gave it the oxygen that she needed to live Okay, if you just didn't do that We wouldn't be talking about her right now. It's just, but I think it's a,

we have to figure out. Now you know next time, it's like you don't mean anything. You don't know comedy. You really don't know what you're talking about. You're a side-sensor because I'm glad that I said some of the things that I said and some of the things that I said are out there.

Yeah, because you like hearing yourself speak. There's a little bit of that. Using words you don't you got to you get your own podcast You know like let me on my show I don't have a podcast All right I'm gonna do a space book stuff We all like fuck yeah Okay

That's just that's just spiked That was fucking good Well here's the thing people in general don't really care about stand-up comedy. The actual general population, they don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? It's a very specific niche world. People care about celebrities. People care about Amy Schumer now because she's on TV and as a sketch show.

But hers a stand-up to fucking average Joe American in the middle of the country. It didn't mean shit. It's a very small percentage of people in the world give a fuck. So most people would read that article and it's like them reading an article about a fucking dog walker who said something I wouldn't even finish the article. They wouldn't nobody cares. Yeah, it is We care. There's other people that probably blog now that look up to San Adore gone. Maybe I'll have my own Sam or else story one time because I want that publicity. I like, you know, it's weird is I have that vine account and I you know

I love that new app social media shit I'm always at the beginning of that and I looked at my videos what becomes popular and what doesn't what people like Like people love on my little when I do something with my dog Okay, it's weird, but if I do something with my dog I'm gonna get a lot of people fucking watching the video if I do something with me It gets less videos. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's because you're not as interesting

as your dog. My dog is very cute. But here's the thing is that she went and I know what people are gonna, what are people gonna respond to? Are they gonna respond to my article on rape? My thoughts on it with no victim, no target, no evil. You need a villain, you need a villain you need a villain you need a villain man when you're gonna be on the side of righteousness and you're

gonna preach about some shit you need a devil you do you need Lucifer you know if I'm just listening to fucking the preacher talk about God the whole time and I don't hear the devil I'm not I'm you know I want to be scared I want to be like ooh and that's what she did. And everybody, everybody gave that energy to it. Now we're talking about. I'm over. I've been talking about this for two weeks now. Well, yeah, not really. Nobody's been listening to you until now. I think the point Scott made is definitely going to ignore it. But you know, if it becomes I made that, I made that to hang on now. Let's stop. I made that to but you don't have classes. didn't sound as good as you. Can I borrow your glasses?

Scott, can I borrow your glasses for one second? Let's see this. This is gonna be hilarious. I, uh, first of all, I want to say you should have just ignored it. Dude, this is the life you could have had. I'm gonna have. What do you have? You know, you could have been that person. I'm gonna get glasses. You could have known words. Way till I grow a gray goatee and get some glasses. What do you say before, goodly?

What do you say? More goodly. More goodly, everybody. Very goodly. Very goodly. Very goodly. Well, here's the deal. Rap is not fun.

No. Well, not for the victim. No, sir. Jesus, Scott right there would have been targeted. He should be targeted. Well, not for the victim. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I thought I was good, but I love the Kelly gets under his skin and I love the Kelly look at that little fucking dumb Smiley I'm hosting the late show and fucking Connecticut. I'm gonna watch you die of fucking death trying to follow me It's gonna be amazing She's gonna die in front of you Not a legitimate diet, I'm talking about bomb on St. Louis. I know what he just said was a tenet. You but this is what was was really said This is what if you were God you could really hear why did you kill my parents? That was the real

Why did that baby have to be born that was but you put the way now? I'm just fucked myself up because that happened to me before when I did a spot with Nate and Montreal and Graham K who's a funny comic from Toronto came out to do guest spots. Yeah, and before great story by the way before we went on stage I go to Nate. I was like dude the crowd was pretty decent. You're gonna like this. So I go to Nate and I was like dude I hope fucking Graham eats his dick on stage like I was like I love Graham But I just wanted him to fucking bomb. So he goes out there dude. He fucking Slase I was like, I don't know, I love Graham, but I just wanted him to fucking bomb. So he goes out there, dude, he fucking slays. I thought I like, could have been like Dave Chappelle came out. Yeah, Nate told me he could like,

it was like the place was going, but it was unbelievable, dude, right? Then I went out there, I was supposed to do 20 minutes. Eight is dick. Yeah, dude, I did my first joke. Nobody left, just for the clinking of ice cubes in a glass. Yeah. Dude, they let me have like 12 at Montreal. No, it was in the festival, it was a club. So I turn the corner

It was in the festival. Yeah, please let's get real. I can't get in a call back. You got to get into that Did I turn the corner and the look of a relation on Nate's face? He couldn't have been any happier So that's probably what's gonna happen now is I'm gonna bomb my ass off in that late show. I made me so happy Dude Kelly kills Kelly kills and you bomb the greatest thing that ever happened You understand that I will I will fucking give Kelly this podcast I will leave the you know I do podcasts. I will put her face on it and I'll call it We please fix your posture in this just the year 1300 2013 what I don't know I was fucking I need a banana listen

Yeah, I really just flubbled Those are flat tire though not a bomb. You don't get that you don't get that I just Kelly's posture makes me fucking depressed. I just want to fucking stick something in our ass to straighten her out Thank you Really I slow down. All right Joe. Here here you go. Listen, listen, we're going to talk. We're going to go back to talking for a few more minutes. And then when I see the shit posture, I'm going to go now. And then you look, and this fucking rounded shouldered, fucking, twitch fuck from Australia,

you're going to see your shitty depressed posture. And you're going to see your spine abiffida from the front. I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. You know what the reality is here? What, that you're find Kelly attractive. No Yes, and they are so not smooth with the ladies The only way they can You got a girl. What you got?

Is she a wife? Hang on, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm Puerto Rican. Come on, come on. We got a baby. Listen to me. First of all, both of us fucking so far ahead of you,

we have life. We made a life. Do you understand? You're a fucking novice. I got dogs. You live with a girl. You occasionally fucking come on somebody. We came in somebody and fucking committed to life. We made, we took fucking

and made a, and now it's, mine's coming out. His is already out. We have a fucking human being. Congratulations. Yes. So don't fucking talk to us. You did what nature in sick food. We did. We did what I will also forget that shit, dude. You knew me before I was with B. I could I could always pull pussy You could you pretty good. I love that I love that I'm here to punch you one second one second shut up. Why are you pulling this away from? Hang on one second hang on I'm trying to fucking make this curly cue go back up like a fucking fiddle stick Listen

You know the fill no Google fiddle stick that's that's your posture And you at home can do the same. This is what this hell fucking dumb Lewis is. I'm literally bringing up the topic that we're married and we have a baby coming. He has a baby. We have a child. Our relationship is so further than his,

who's he's dating. He made me live with somebody. This cuck's okay. Still wants to go. Now I could pull pussy back when Shut the fuck up. That's not a that's not a good argument No, he's not who you know I could fuck chicks back when I used to fuck chicks before I was a father and a fucking husband Which is way better than fucking the law of justice? I thought the point that he's making her he's making the point that we don't have game with women. No, we could come and I'm making the girl

I'm making the point that we do we actually have great game because we met the woman of our dreams and fell in love Got connected and made a life and now I have a little son and you have a son that's gonna love both of us We're a family. We have families you fuck That's insane. That's fucking crazy man shit right there. That's fucking holy, that's when you become a man is when you're a husband and a father and you have to fuck this cuck suckers buying milk 2% with his chick that might dump them

if she becomes more famous than him. He has to be a girl on Wednesdays at three o'clock. Alright, Bob, Paul, gee, except it. So, buddy's been going to- Rob, you want to go to MTV with me tomorrow and we're gonna pitch Dad Code? How's fucking good? How is good? Write that down, write that down. That's good.

Right there for real, Ziggs Zapsoo! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. No, the point is- down right that down right that for real zing zabzoom ah no the point is look at those fucking Frankenstein shoulders I mean oh they're rounded they go in you shoulders aren't supposed to go in you don't you don't it doesn't have a concave chest her chest is concave because she does this she fucking sits like a suma you're a fucking fat piece of shit You like to so am I so what the fuck when he says that took look at him and say you look like King Kong fucking bun Yeah, but that's fine. That's fine. King Bundy had a midget brother. They would be you

Yeah, and you know what you look like what you look like every fucking you look like Nicholas cage in moon struck You toothless fucking hairy fuck. You look like a big sum bread with your one hand. You look like if powder got depressed and developed in eating problems. You. You look like the girl from my fat Greek wedding. Is that the name of it? Big fat Greek wedding?

No, but... You look like her at the beginning of the movie. She was wearing the glasses. Listen, now look it, I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to help her. Really? My second step that I did. This isn't a foster home, Bobby. That wasn't my home.

That was your real home? Yeah, I... Look at her now. Look at her now. She's aware of it. She's a pretty girl. She's insecure. She doesn't know what to do.

Shut up. What are you? Who the fuck are you, Tony Robbins? I just don't come in here trying to fucking give pep dogs. You're a fuck suck at this. Kelly, stand up for your fucking self. I'm gonna stand up for your fucking self. Why don't you go block him up properly for yourself? If you're gonna stand up for yourself,

stand up straight for yourself. Yeah, I'm round your shoulder, you have to fucking, fucking bitch. That's good stuff. That's what it is. I'm round your shoulder, there's a crooked bitch. Alright, write that down. Alright guys, we're gonna wrap this up.

This has been a, Janice, I love when you're on. I love being here. Thanks for coming back, man. And Scott, what's your last name I forget? Moran. Moran, Scott Moran, I do. I fucking suck at that. Scott Moran, you have these awesome videos.

Let me say the website, some people can get it. Yeah, please go ahead. www.rape.com. He says that's not funny. I hope somebody blogs to you from this. Hope it's a black. I'm gonna fucking find the worst, shittiest feminist blogger. Somebody be like, you gotta check out the New York comedy scene.

I hope this fucker's yawness and Sam, they go out every night and fucking tell rape jokes and then they rape chicks on the way home. Yeah, they have ski masks. Yeah, this doesn't wear a ski mask. He just grows a beard and connects to his eyebrows and hair. Go ahead. If you just go to youtube.com slash modern comedian. Modern comedian.

Very funny. Yannis, I'm going to check out your episode tonight. I already checked out Joderosis and Phil, Hanley. So make sure you go to that website. Really fucking interesting videos. How long are most videos? They go from, they're usually around 10 minutes, but some are six minutes, some are 15. You can put that on YouTube, 15 minutes on YouTube. Yeah, you can put it. Awesome. Make sure you check it out.

Lewis, what do you got? You can put it on Facebook. These sides, jeans that don't fit. God. Your hips are so wide. That big fucking thighs. I'm wide. I'm wide.

Where did you get them? Cause he's a big MMA fighter because he's a big M. M. A fighter He's a big guy. I take after Randy go to I Went to took Randy to his class Big his big thigh class Working out can't you tell yeah, I can't even working out Fucking kidding me Kelly. Wow. There you go. That was a good one. I can't believe you take a shit for stook

She's all over you and I've put on weight too, but She's fat Lewis is fat Lewis is fat Don't don't dance you're gonna fucking this people on his other me those working The truffle like Jurassic Park with the water starts moving The class is over here Alright, now you're getting a little carried away with yourself

We got it You bring it back open mic references It's like the water in the Jurassic Park with the water Triple sound like an effect That should have worked, it was too wordy, I'm sorry It's too wordy, there you go, what's up? What you got Lewis? Talk to me Do it in Spanish though. But I, but the bar.

No, but no, these festival. North by North. Where is North by North? These are Toronto. I love that you're going to give longitude and latitude. Dude, it's the name of the fucking festival. Congrats, dude. That's awesome. I mean it.

I'm like, can you do your fucking church? Can I say something nice? I know. This podcast is so mean when you say something nice. It's not. I will kick you in the fucking face know. This podcast is so mean when you say something nice, people. It's not. I will kick you in the fucking face for compliment. No, it's not. No, it's not.

Look, I like to create. I'm very glad I met you, dude. Working class aggression. I'm very, I'm Scott, Scott Morrell. I'm glad I met you. Scott Moran. I'm Sam Morrell's gay cousin. Cousin Faggot.

Is this the refuse of a- Well, come on, cousin Faggot Refuseable cousin Faggot We got your magazine Yeah, I got smell your vagina from here. Yeah, we hung up a shankassity poster in your room Faggot Open mind first open. It's a it's a vibrator Sticking in your ass because of faggot you want to watch reruns of the park the family home all boy We got the ones with Oliver I'll read your play after a fucking the ass

Like yeah, I'm gonna be on both by the one with these festival June June 12th or 16th with Dave Smith and Aaron Berg What a lineup. Yeah, really. For an open micro show. There is that festival by the way. It's in Toronto, Toronto June 12th or 16th. Who's headlining? June Graffalo, big jersey when it's. I just say I met you, Jeanine Graffalo. Sweetheart. I did the show. It's the stand the other night called.

What is it? Causing fake. It's when you they give you the topics set list set list which i was petrified by the way oh god was i fuck it i agree to it and then i it's like one of those things we like what did i do this for and then jenine was on it and uh... terberi bickard barry and uh... the uh... uh... who's the little guy the duck guy I wish there was a midget comedian no

Yeah, did the Oh So anyways, yeah, I was petrified, but it was that you know only shit I'm gonna take a hot one in front of everybody petrified. It was actually pretty exhilarating and it's it's funny But I met her out front for the first time. Sweetest person. Yeah, she's cool. So cool. You had a good time at the stand I had a great time at the stand I know I am in his fucking apartment and she's pretty hot actually She's actually yes, I've always that's my type of girl though that that brunette

She's she looks like she'd read a blog against rape culture, but Yeah, I like her a lot sweetest against rape culture. But yeah, I like her a lot. Sweetest pie. I'm so glad. But you always have a thing. I'm gonna meet this. I'm gonna I'm gonna meet this. You gotta look like you'd read a blog against a rape culture. I love that it was funny. You said it. We all laughed and then he repeated it. I just was funny. I can't enjoy it for a second. All right. Listen, well, you can enjoy it through laughter and just keep your mouth shut after. knows how it works You don't have to explain to him. This was a good one and then I'll repeat it better I

Yeah, she's great. So anyways Lewis where else are you gonna be? We're gonna be all together me you and Kelly Fistuka why can't you? My family because you invited my fucking chick on a road gig who does that? Kelly please crush on that show. I'm trying. I'm doing a lot of that. She tries every time.

But Barry fucking lose. I want you to listen. I'm high-stay. Yeah, but see there, that's what you need to get that out of your fucking head. Yeah. You're giving yourself an excuse right now not to do good. Yeah. I just thought I'm going to host on the late show in Berri.

Berri, if you just said Kelly, yeah, I think Kelly, you fucking better kill it on this show. Berri has no idea. I'm gonna go really high, don't wait, especially the, um, the, I want you to go up and fucking kill it. And I want you to stand straighter than you usually do. Yeah.

I, I, I, I, no, I really do. The posture of a bit. Yeah, we're going up, we're gonna have fun. Yeah. It's about having fun. Yeah. It looks like a fossil. I'm looking at that. June 27th or 29th. Listen, we're gonna go up June 27th to the 29th. Me, Kelly and uh, and um, Scott Moran. How fuck the Lewis J Gomez. We're gonna go up there. We're

gonna have a blast. So come up and see the show. I'm excited to go. Yeah, it's gonna be great. Yeah, dude, he invited my fucking chicken road gig. Well, do it. Well, I'll hang out with the baby. He do you he wants everyone? You heard the speech he gave before being a man stuck in pussy on the road Lewis. It's raising your kid Being a good father reading to him who's gonna be there for a real man. Yeah real man dad Robert Kelly and your shields and dance utter a fucking pussy They never wiped up shit from their kids balls before All right Kelly what do you got?

Foxwoods poor posture 39 And just my website. Yeah, it's gonna make sure you check out Kelly for stucco.com follow on Twitter You son of a bitch is that listen to the show follow her on Twitter God damn it. Oh, thank you because she promotes all my shit from her Twitter account So make sure it's just another way for me to get more Twitter followers No, make sure July I said June 27th Guys, I fuck up, okay, I said may I said July. I've said June

Guys I fuck up, okay, I said may I said July. I've said June Kelly give them the final date for the show October 3rd through. Don't fucking Lulis okay June 27th, 29th, 29th One show slow down you asshole. I can Friday two shows on Saturday the night again June 27th, 28th, 29 Can you sing it? Try singing it. Come on. June 27th 28th 29th. No, no, no, no. Wake up. Don't go sleep. Alright, make sure you check it out. We're gonna be there. That's my gig So that's the only gig I have

Until um to July when you're in. Yeah, I'm gonna have a baby. We're gonna have a baby up there And then I'm going to Montreal. I'm fucking stoked to go to Montreal I'm doing the nasty show. I'm doing some relationship show and then another show I'm fucking stoked to go up there. I love the festival So you you some of a bitches if you're from New York upstate New York Go to the festival go to the national show cross the border take the time I know it's a little drive but get up there Even from New York City, it's not that far. It's a good hike.

It's a good trip. Yeah, it's not that bad. Get up there and check it out. Go to JustFelafs.com. I love the festival. I love all those people. That's going to be fun. And make sure you see us at comics.

At Fox Woods, we're going to have a blast. Kelly's going to have a good time, good energy around her. Fuck and set. I'm going to welcome you all. And don't forget about the nasty show we're doing there. It Fox was the last show on Saturday. It is a nasty show, so Kelsey gonna be talking about her inner pussy. Kelsey's gonna take her shirt off.

And, hmm. What a way to degrade my comedy, thanks Lewis. Wow, what a fucking blogger attitude you have. Thanks a lot. So much misogyny. What is it called? Someone just farted. No. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't we haven't decided yet. Here's the thing I will either long Island Manhattan on New Jersey I'm kind of going to the feeling I love Jersey. I love the fans out there You know, they have always backed me up. I mean long Island too, man

So I don't know it's gonna be in New York or Jersey somewhere We're gonna get a nice theater a small theater. I'm gonna make it cool unique. We're gonna work all the details now So I'm very excited. So when I do lay that out, you guys get those tickets by them. I want to sell it out for at least two shows and get that motherfucker on film. My first hour special. I'll be warming up, guys. Well I'm gonna have to get a warm up. I don't know if it's gonna be you though. I might be, might be Scott. Thank you. Look at that. And Kelly might host it. No, I'm kidding. Don't even think. Either one of you. I have good energy around my sets too. So anyways, I'm very excited about that.

I'll give you more details as the info comes in. You guys make sure you like our Facebook page. What about every time? Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time?

Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time?

Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every time? Every So I can't plug anything. Listen, this next five minutes is called the honest plug. Let's go. Do all the characters. Hey guys. Don't ask everybody knows how to find you online.

Just Google World's longest Facebook post. Or I like rape. My new website address. I like rape. It's a girl getting raped with a heart symbol. Go to www.longaw-winded Greek.com guys Here's my actually this is a fun thing June 16th at bar four in Brooklyn I will all the comedians if you listen this Frank Gallo is shooting his 17-minute comedy special at

Bar four it's gonna be just it's a party for the New York comedy scene Bobby I hope you come down, but what is it gonna do after you runs out of material in three minutes? It's just fucking it's working there to watch and laugh cuz fucking he's you know He's Frank Gallow and he makes comedians laugh. So it's there for us. It's more I love I'm gonna get a DJ. It's more like a party for the comedy scene on June 6th Fight me you are invited June 16th or four Kelly remind me and then I will be thank first of all Thank you to the fans who've come to see me. There's been fans of your podcast who've come to see me on the road. I appreciate it. They love you man Big Lou out there in Ontario. He's a big fucking dude

Yeah, and then some dude in Pittsburgh who made who made those signs. Oh, he's fucking right? Pittsburgh. Yeah, so he came to me and Pittsburgh So thank you guys. I appreciate it and I will be at Gotham Gotham comedy club in New York from the 28th to the 30th of June. Please come soon. You guys are the best fans in the world. Thanks for supporting the show and also all the comedians that come on the show.

You guys are the best. So thank you. We'll see you guys next time. This is actually a two hour and fucking 20 minute podcast. Only felt like four. I'll be at the Buffalo Helium next month with Rory worries go. Oh shit. Did I forget you two? I Didn't have anything to plug I will you while I plug my series, but I can plug my dates Oh, yeah, well, I mean are you funny as okay?

I'll go ahead plug it. I'll be at the Buffalo helium I've never been there and I don't know the dates But just when you find him on the calendar next month, I'll be there. Yeah, go to your website check them out Make sure you support all of us. All right, well good, that's it, we're out. So check it out, make sure you go to tweedaudio.com by yourself, a pair of headphones. In-air, mic, non-might, wood grain,

green, lime green, white, all kinds of colors, all kinds of styles, and their great quality headphones for a cheap price. And get this. Use the code word, dude, when you check out, you get another 33% off. That's right, 33% off. That's close to almost half. It's a lot, actually. And free shipping. So make sure you go to Tweak.io.com, get yourself a few pairs of headphones, you'll just

get one. It's not worth it. I think they wind up being ten bucks a pair. I don't know what it is, but it's crazy. So buy a few. Give some away. Great gifts. Tweak.audio.com, code word, dude. 33% off free shipping right now. It makes you go to ryecast.com slash robber Kelly, that you'll know what dude page on ryecast and there's an Amazon link and a game flight link. Anything you buy on the internet, you go through our Amazon link. That's how you support the show. Go to our page, book market and just buy shit. Just buy whatever the fuck you're gonna buy, but you're also be supporting the show. And gameplyde.com slash ykwd2 for your weeks of awesome games. Ship right to your house. It's the Netflix of video games. If you're a gamer,

you should try it if you haven't already. So you can cancel out any time too. There you go. You can also donate to the show. If you go to a Ryakast page, YKWD, there's a donate button. I want to thank all you awesome sexy motherfuckers who've donated all that money. He has gone to helping out the studio paying for things. It's just making the show better. So we appreciate that. And make sure you go to riotcast.com and check out some of the most amazing podcasts out there.

riotcast.com, we pride ourselves on putting together the most unique, unbelievably funny, interesting podcasts on the internet. It's not just the same thing or the same feel or the same fucking taste over and over and over again. It's different shows, a bunch of different shows. We're all over the fucking charts. We got Bailey Jay, we got the Davey Max Sports Show, Weird Medicine with Dr. Steve, we got Hammer Fest Ag with Lewis Jay Gomez. We got all kinds of stuff. We got hammer fist egg with Lewis J Gomez. We got all kinds of stuff. We got glory home that work.

We got Hawaii Succ-in-Bet. I mean, holy caca, there's so much stuff. There's more. There's even more. We get why my wife hates me. I think that's what it's called. Anyway, let's go there. Go to ryecast.com Jersey Jerks, unbelievable shows, unbelievable, and it's all free. That's right, free. The only thing you can do is how about the shows by hitting

their donate buttons, buying their merch at the top of the page, and spread the word. That's all you have to do. Spread the word of the Ryah Cast Network in all of our shows. Well, that's all you have to do and we'll make this, we'll keep this free. My wife hates me. Jim Florentine, weird medicine. The comedy sell alive from the comedy sell. The glory hole, Bailey J, David McSports program, why you suck in bed, mad scientist party hour, the Jersey jerks and hammer fisting, are the shows on the network, all hilarious, all free, and every week they're up there for your enjoyment. So make sure you go support them all, all of them, get the app, iPad, iPhone, and Android is coming soon.

Make sure you email us at ykwd.radcast.com. You have anything, anything you want to give us props. You want to tell us some suggestions you would have on the show. Blah blah blah blah. YKWD at radcast.com. I'm sitting in my underwear right now on my iPhone with my awesome mic that I got from Carl and I'm stuck in the water, I'm stuck in the water You know what I did?

I'm stuck inside the water, I'm stuck in the water You know what I did? Really did, really, really, really You know what I mean? I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, mean, mean, I mean, I mean, mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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