Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Yabba Dabba Doin'

Episode Date: March 5, 2018

Joe List, Justin Silver and Wil Sylvince come on the pod and discuss super hero movies, dishonest doctors, and a trying to get healthy! Bobby gets calm and Joe gets angry! Duuude! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-effective podcast, no rules. You're the mic-asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic-asshole? No, that's a fuck. That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass.

I have a bunch? That was trying to keep it like a comic-can. I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down And sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it sides of the coin Do you think my podcast is popular? I might affect something like this. You never know. You do ever kill these, you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Yeah. Yeah Yeah I have a hard out today. I forgot to tell you yeah, but you have a hard on today Whoo, all right listen three 15 three 15 what three 10 what are you talking about to humor to humor? You know you know a hard out right? I have a hard out of 430 though.

That's fine. We're over it for you. Going to Bennington. Huge big show. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's the best, the best. All right, check it out. laughable.com.

Michael, tell him about laughable. Oh, laughable is the best app you can use for your podcast. Listen, you can follow any individuals on a podcast. You want to hear Joe list of any podcast you've ever been on. Pause. His name's Moshe Mike. So things come out mushy. But mushy's not always bad.

I mean, I feel we can pick a better person to talk about laughable. I like mushy Mike. Okay, I like him too. I'm just saying. Okay, I have mushy. So you want to listen to anybody, he's ever been on a podcast,

that's a comedian, you can pick that podcast, pick that comedian, they'll have every episode on them. He'll say anytime. Do you say that again, please? You're not supposed to interrupt the reads. I'm so sure. You're not supposed to fuck up the reads and you fucked it up.

I didn't fuck that one up. I didn't say anything negative about it. No, but you're saying never about the reader. Lathable is killer, bro. Joe did too. Number one rated podcast app out there. Oh, it's my favorite. It's real.

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I'm just saying. Don't you do in hand gestures. To myself, like a fucking indie. No, not to you, I'm doing it myself. I'm like saying, that's right. Yeah, I don't need hand gestures. I thought it was a give me a new, I'm giving it myself.

No, give it to yourself, with that. That's is myself. But do it in your head. Oh, you give me a hand gesture until I come. All right, listen, before we get into that, so, deepdiscount.com, loyal sponsor sponsor my show I know give you shit these guys are the best

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Oh, right. Which is a difference between a monkey gorilla and a chimpanzee. That's right, we'll talk about that later, okay. But that's a great movie, man. Very touchy feeling. Great movie. What about Brokeback Mountain?

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So, Ragnarok, Ragnarok, I said it. No, you didn't. Say it again. I will. It's door for Ragnarok. Door for? Just skip the last part. You don't need to say the new floor.

No, please say the last part. Wang, Wang, Wang, Wang, If there's an ending to G, then you could have put them on the cover. Wang, so you got some G's, Wang, rang, and then the ankle, right at the rang, sure, a walk. Rang no rock. Can I just say something?

I would rather have this. Listen to him, try to say, Ragnarok, then cake. Okay, that's how much I love Will's. You say it like I'm messing up. You're saying it beautifully, I thought. Yeah, Thor Ragnaradurok. Exactly, you see? It was clear that Mike's first read, it was really clear.

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Thank you deep discount. I actually this Ragnarok top seven on favorite suit movies I actually like chicken soup for the soul. So my top soup movie. You know I'm told I liked it wasn't there another Mo soup movie that was good Super movie you know I'm talking I liked it wasn't there another movie that was good Ratatouille was a good soup moving dude super hair. So I said the whole thing super hero movie well for us to understand it You might I knew exactly when you meant will use the whole word will I know some people don't get you will I get you I'm seven really Tony Danza Yeah, we have a good thing. Yeah, okay, I do it talk. I'd love to see you guys communicate together. We're talking right now

Yeah, we're talking about will do you see Thor? I sought thought Five four times me too five four times. What's it? How do you say the last name? Look at me? Look at me look at me. I got to read it because I don't remember because I don't watch the stupid We the guys not fucking handsome enough for me ragna rock. There you go. Great stars Mark Ruffalo and Anthony Hopkins. Can we stop? Did you just say he's not a handsome enough? Yeah, he's a hack Fuck bitch. You're an idiot. Yeah, he's gorgeous. I know he's gorgeous. I know. He's one of the hottest human beings out there. Hmm. Yes. Yeah. Yes And Thor I think Thor if I'm going through it I'm gonna say Ironman Marvel unit one or two or three

I'm too is better. You're mine. You're out of your mind No, too, so Gabby can you please go to the bathroom, please when you say so I don't have to go Ironman two is the are you a medication? Yes, I, Iron Man 2 is good. I like Iron Man 2. What kind of medication are you? I'm my boy. I'm not. Oh fuck, I feel. We were in my zone.

Gabby, sorry. Gabby, listen to me. You're out of your fucking mind. Iron Man 2 was the worst. Hold on, maybe she forgot. Who was an Iron Man 2? I don't know. I got my wisdom teeth out and I watched it on, on now.

I could end up. Yeah, I could end up. One is the best he's gonna get introduced to the whole thing. One is the best, the one is the best, not because of that. Well, one is ultra. Gabby, you talk too much. Sorry.

Somebody give you too much confidence. Settle down, okay. You're in the far seat for a reason. Sorry, sorry. Not a nothing too much. Listen, not enough with too much, exactly. There's a middle ground I want you to hit today, Okay. It's got it. Stop pressing your lips, too She does this I don't mind that I know that's why I don't want it to do it. Oh, I say

I think all the Iron Man stink because I'm a fucking adult. Oh, stop what? You don't like any sci-fi movie. I awesome. Every first movie, every first one, predator one, Batman one, is when you see all the shit, how everything gets made, like their world, the introduction to the world is what makes it so fucking awesome. Now, if you played superhero, would it be Captain Harvey? So the first day of your life was the best day of your life? What do you mean, no?

That was the introduction to the world, bro. No, the world of that, the world, the fuck they cut the co-talk and it's fucking great. I don't talk like that. Similar to that, bro. No, the world of that, the world, they cut the code dog and it's fucking right. I don't talk like that. Similar to that though. Yeah, you do it on my big, that's on my bell, bro, little bit. I'm gonna talk like you. Nice. Well, it shows you hilarious, though. I'll air you. But like a reporter from the 20s. So now when did I, I'll come into the place. You first, they like the best. That was Dan Nathamine, but I don't think I sound like that It was very natter mini my doctor said by oxen shouldn't my doctor know about vioxen What about vioxen you sound like you're just talking we can't help you about vioxen. That's a good point

You sound like Dan Nathamine. I think that I'm in one. I think Ironman one we got the ACM I think Ironman one was the best yeah, because number one You had one of the best one of our best contemporary actors. Yes. All around great actor. In the lead role, surrounded by other great actors, directed by a great director actor. So you had the whole fucking thing and you had the ability

then the visual effects at the time. What? The visual effect. Got it. I didn't hear you. I'm sorry to your self-esteem crashed on that one. I really didn't hear you. Visual effects. Yes. The visual effects were fucking great. But I mean, you can't get any cooler than Robert Downey Jr. I mean, he's a playboy. He's the man. He's a fucking pimp. In the middle of this movie,

he has a fucking crisis turnaround, a watershed moment, changes his life, goes from the cool anti-hero type guy, you don't like to Iron Man. At the end of the movie, I'm Iron Man. Fuck you. Oh my god. How great is that? Yeah, and the awkwardness He's got like I love like when he's the suit and you have to he's got to figure it out

And there's the awkwardness of it. He's like he's kind of coming into his own and as the fucking superhero That's the shit. What about that's like Rocky want every one is the best broke back Mountain one broke back mountain one is the best. Yes, remember the beat the gay guy that There is it's hilarious. It's great. That's beautiful. First of all, I know how hilarious. There's no two. There's no broke back mountain two.

No me, Joe, making it now. Yeah. Yeah. The broke back mountain is better than Iron Man, certainly. Absolutely not. Joe Whirlin' Hall. He's sexy. Are you crazy?

He's ledger. He died. He broke back. First of all, Keith ledger was not sexy. He's sexy. I would not have. Are you crazy? He's ledger. He died. Broke back. First of all, Keith ledger was not sexy. He didn't die for the move. He's he's he's something will. He's like, will. What? Haha. Keith ledger. I would never say Keith. You would never say that. I think number hot in here. It's fine. I got it. All right. We got it. Don't make sure off. The AC's on. You want to sit by the AC saying, of listen to Justin relax. I'm calm Yeah, yeah, he's trying to broke back number two number two I come is

I would say Call her by your god into the galaxy Number two I am in god into the galaxy. What about fucking over Avengers one what one? What? All of Avengers one? Shit. What about the second stop man? I take it back to him. No, that's DC universe. Also, he's like that's DC. Wait, what is he saying? What did he say? Dark night?

That's super here all the way. No, we're talking Marvel universe. We were talking super here as well. We're talking super movies. No, we're not talking. He was like Marvel. It's a I said it at the beginning of it. You were listening movies.

You weren't listening. I said, anybody At the beginning of it, you were listening. You were listening. I said, we won the tape and see what he said. Did anybody hear, said Marvel? No, we didn't see Marvel. I said Marvel. No. It was soup and then superheroes. Marvel Universe.

I said it at the beginning. I said Marvel Universe only. You might have said it, but nobody heard it. Yeah, because you're not listening. Because you're too worried about fucking. You're up with that, but doing. Yeah. About, about both of our mountains, that. Will, did you hear him say it? But nobody heard him because you're not listening because you're too worried about fucking yeah, but that but doing yeah About that mountain is that will did you hear? I'm told you keep fucking yapping you want you listen and you'll hear me say it

So what you listen listen doing not yeah, but That's just good advice for mushy. Did you hear him say marvel? I didn't but I was Here not a nose Gabby didn't mouth. I like that. I just wanna say, I don't wanna be argumented, but I definitely didn't hear you say more of all of that. I said it. I did say it. Listen, I don't need to lie to you. Right.

Or you, on a podcast. Sure. Talking about- You don't need to fucking fantasy movies. I don't need to. I'll lie to you about more important things, about a friendship. I'll lie about that.

Okay, we'll lie about that. Not you Joe. Listen. I already thought it was a great Marvel movie. Oh, what brings us one. I say Avengers is the is better than I did. You like, did you like Black Panther? What about Philip Elfian? You got to that. I was you. Schindler's list is a fucking hell. He'll take his funny joke and then just do

the same joke right after he did it. I was adding on that's not adding I don't I don't want to be I don't need to be fucking criticized right now. Yeah, that was called happy Just laugh at his and let it linger we get used to you stepped on his great joke with habit shineless list It's the same joke show. I thought I said I'm going gay. I'm going gay theme. He's gonna call it by your name. Gay. Keep it down. Oh, did you like a black panther? But I did love Shunners. I won't see black panther. I refuse to see it. Why? Why? Will is right here. Why is not the why doesn't matter? Yeah, why is the chromosome you're missing? So when you saw when you saw

When you saw how many times you gonna say you saw Civil war Poland when you saw civil war did you close your eyes during the black pantocains? I didn't even know that was that was what he was. I thought he was a cat. I thought he was called kitty cat He thought it was a grip who just happened to be in the shot? I thought, I thought, no, listen, I will go see Black Panther. I would definitely see it, but here's a deal with this movie. Have you seen it? I've seen it four times.

Why? Because he's a lot of bootleg. I mean, sorry, that was a way better joke than mine. You saw it four times? I saw it, yeah. Do you see it in three days? No, I don't like three days. I don't like three days.

Three days to distract them, man. I saw it in three days. Two dicks is all you need. Let me ask you a question. Is that why this is the black superhero movie that black people like this is the best? First of all, is it a, is it the motherfucker? Is it the number one movie? Is it up there with Iron Man and Avengers?

Number one, you want to answer the question? I'm gonna let you I'm just giving you a set up. Okay Very defensive. I Had to have a hard out. I just want to remind you. I'm listening. I'm done. I actually is it up there. Oh my god. Take your head off Is it up there with Iron Man Avengers and Guardians of the galaxy? Where is it between those three movies? Okay, what are Deadpool? Isn't that something Deadpool two? You're right like Deadpool. Yes, we love that. Deadpool two is that even out there's one I said you said that who to I meant also you said that pull to as well. So maybe you did not say Marvel earlier Where is the movie fall? I don't know what you think. OK, let me say this. Yes, say it.

Number one, number one is not even a black movie. You can put any color in there. It's just a good, damn movie. Number one in the form was, shh. Stop the abadabah doing. Let me finish. That's number one. Number two is a good story all around.

So whether you into superhero movies or not, it's a good story for everybody who's not into so they just like a good story That's the other thing then three it happens to be black. I think you can reverse those all Really do you think it's because black and then the other two that it's a great story? I thought it was I thought it was very fucking cool. Yeah I I thought it was very fucking cool. Yeah. How awesome everybody thinks it is. I was like, eh, no. And I thought the cool, I thought all the futuristic

Afrocentric shit is what made it so cool. And the suit that he had was so cool. But I was like in terms of stories of superheroes, it was like, there was holes in it, I didn't love it. I liked it a lot. Where would you put it? Got it. I didn't see Gart. Iron man. I didn't see Gart the guy up. Okay. Iron man. Iron man is better than that iron man Avengers one

Iron man one Avengers one or black Panther Goes after iron man black Panther goes after Iron man really you don't think it's better than Avengers I don't remember as much I remember think of it. I don't remember civil war. I didn't see them Wow cut the marker. But I get, but dark night. I put it. Got the marker.

I can't do it. Oh, I can't. I have to go Marvel. You got to go Marvel because DC is a different. Because DC doesn't have any, it only has one fucking thing that dark night. Yeah. Great answer. We're for the Civil War. Black people wouldn't be able to do anything.

I mean, we were doing things without the civil war. You think about it. For us. Yeah. No, I mean, sorry. Jesus. I'm sorry. Don't say us.

Say, say the joke. You just said the lie. You kept from a slave owner family. I know, I know, I know, my family was even here. Yeah, but they benefit from slave owners. How so? Free stuff. That doesn't make sense.

What free stuff did you get? Joel, not me. What? Listen, let me ask you a question. You weren't doing anything anyways. You doubted Haiti having fun. Was being a French's ass. Yeah, take that, Frenchies.

You think that this movie is number two after Iron Man. I think, yeah, it's, yeah, after Iron Man, maybe Iron Man one, Black Panther, uh, would you be mad at a black, would you be, would you think a white guy suspect for thinking that it's not in the box? No, I mean, no, you know, would you think he's being phony as a superhero comic book fan, Marvel fan, if I was like, I saw it and I was like, yeah, I think it's number four or five. I nope Is there a pinning, but this is where we're at now. This is a serious note. We've lost all Baitalk will

I fucking feel everybody I'm serious Oh serious Joe listen about to say something serious since we just show going about ring the bell the Joe serious bell I think we've lost and I'd like to hear an African American person Hation American I think That's a slur

I would like don't you think we've lost track of the word racism, the idea of racism, people are like, if you don't like Black Panther, you're racist, that's racism now. Who said that? And the old days racism would be like, get away, don't drink out of my water fountain. That's not what he said, that's what he said. You're asking that, so that's implied. I'm asking that because I wanted to get the temperature of the water. But I've seen posts on Facebook and stuff, people say this stuff. Do you think critics, can I ask you a question? Do you think critics are going to be, to get the temperature of the water. And I know. And I know. And Facebook and stuff. People say this stuff. Do you think critics, can I say,

what do you think critics are gonna be, they're gonna be nervous to say, like, oh, I didn't like this movie because they're like, oh, it's not okay to say, I don't like black, I don't like the band there. I think they're gonna be. First of all, the critics are very lucky that this movie was great.

Right. Because if this movie spawn came out, got shit on. Spawn was a black superhero, but it was a black superhero with a black lead. Blade was a black superhero. Okay, the bottom. Nobody said that wasn't a black movie. You understand? No, that that that shit. Black people should have rallied behind blade. Like, like you understand that that was the first time that but why should we rail behind a movie that Small was okay at best. It wasn't though a great great movie like black Panther It was a good movie, but it was not like something to get behind on look dude The black Panther was a black movie because it take place in a black country

Okay, you know take place you don't want to talk about what Honda made a Honda. I was kidding. Okay. What kind of if they if they made if they made that's what we're asking for a gum. If they made kind of sorry. Isn't bad. If they made Iron man white or poor the weekend. Yeah, it'll be like yo be up or up raw. Yeah, uprising. Well, they made Johnny Storm black

I didn't like that. They made Johnny's face. I like that at all They make and who else did they do that too? They did it to somebody else too. They made somebody else black that wasn't black Right the lawyer in the movie Molly's game How about those we serious We go back to Thor. I don't watch the comic book movie. There's gonna be any God's, but there are multi-ethnic society for some reason. Yeah, there are supposed to be blonde hair, blue eyes. There's plenty of black and Vikings.

X-Men. And the second lead in the movie is fucking Idris Alda, whatever the fuck is. Alba. Alba, you can't talk. RuPaul is a black X-man. Which I have no problem with. I don't care. I like that.

RuPaul? No, Idris Al-Bah. He was bad ass. I mean, he's bad ass. I love him. He's one of my favorite actors. Luther is one of the greatest shows on Netflix. Top five favorite actors, real quick.

Fast. Idris Al-Bah, Denzel Washington. Fuck yeah. Wesley Snipes. Fucking Snipes. Yeah. Shit, top five favorite actors, real quick. Fast. Edus Alba, Denzel Washington, fuck yeah. Wesley Snipes. Did you see? Yeah, shit, I'm running out. Radio Raheem, radio Raheem. Two Wayans brothers. Kevin Hart.

Top five favorite actors, fast. Edus Alba, I would say, I would say, Robert Downey Jr., I would say, Robert DuVal, I would say, DuVal I would say Robert De Niro Al Pacino and I would also say That's why dude I was gonna throw a woman in this right in get a tear you got no female actors in there dude Yeah, you said actors you didn't say actresses I don't look I don't look as John when I say actors. That's everybody Ronald Reagan you left actor you left that Richard Greco you left up some fucking great man

You really did not switch it gear but I agree with you. He's great Top five favorite actors Tom Hardy Phillips. He more Hoffman Robert De Niro your mother's gun and your father's tips Those titties I want to take out I'm gonna take it out but you know and I'm gonna put you serious Tom Hardy's amazing what kind of problem do you have here? Oh? Pretty good. How you taking off of you know that's taking out out of you know, you take it amount why I put some hardy what what more we Tom Hardy is a better actor. I think it is more diverse His real Bobbie. Yeah, his real and Al Pacino became his role. Rock you Bobby. Yeah, his role and Al Pacino became him. Cartoon character. Yeah. It's ever since sent of a woman. That's the guy you get.

Yes. Al Pacino, unless you put prosthetics on him and he becomes physically somebody else. Do I look good in his nose? Justin could not be happier that we got on the topic of Al Pacino. I can't. I can't. Top five favorite actors. Woody Allen, Woody Allen, Woody Allen. Oh, you're gonna be in trouble. I don't know. Oh, it's such a millennial shit thing to say. I like Woody Allen. I know you, though.

You know, he fucked a little, his little daughter. Are you a little girl? Fuck him. You don't care? I don't care. Oh, that's sexy. That's a great website, Will. Thank you.

I think those movies, I think, look, I'm gonna go see Black Panther. I'm a fan of the Marvel universe. Marvel world. And I have to see it because I have to see Infinity Wars. And if I, I'm not caught up in there, I'm not gonna know how Captain America got over to fucking Uganda. You're gonna say what happened at the end of the Black Panther? No, don't tell us.

Don't tell it. Are you crazy? Captain America's been torn apart. You can't go. He's a court jester with a broken heart. That's by the mask. Are you nuts? Why would you fucking do that?

That's how fucking Kevin Smith had a heart attack. You gotta go see it in a white neighborhood though. Definitely. Well, I, you gotta fucking be able to hear the thing. I mean, you gotta hear it. You gotta grace it. You gotta hear it. What? And face.

Thank you, buddy. I went and I saw it at the Asian theater. They don't say a down-and-battery park. They don't say a fucking word in there. They mind the whole Asian minority, them. They, they, well, they're the majority of the world if you think about they don't say they don't even chew their fucking popcorn at the quieter parts. Actually, these are just how can you get actually end is a more popular than And agents not in Asia not in my heart though.

I do trying to hard listen. Here's a thing. Oh, listen. I'm barely. I do try to hard. Listen, here's a thing. Oh, listen. I'm barely trying. I would go see this. Still carrying. I would go this movie in a black neighborhood in two seconds. I would love to see this movie with a black audience because they're going to enjoy it.

I mean, way more. Right? Do they work? I mean, way more in Flanagan. That's like, that easy and Django with an all-white crowd in Boston. They enjoy it way more than then I mean this is a when I was a kid we saw Malcolm X in a black neighborhood and they were throwing shit at us. Yeah well that's fun that's like part of it. Yeah part of the

movie. Yeah I had a lot of fun. It's like Rocky Harp in show. I could have been Toy Story 2 it's still what have happened. I saw it there. Wait a hold on, but Robert, didn't you like Justice League? That was funny. Nobody laughs at Moji Mike. I couldn't hear it. I was saying things. I know what you might, I know what you might was, yeah, but that was doing.

He's, yeah, but that was doing. Don't you like Justice League? I love, I thought, I'm gonna say that I love Justice League. I liked it. It was all right. It wasn't good. I don't think they then I want to make a movie The fucking Instagram look and it's all dark and the world is all crumbly and go fuck yourself

Show me the world the way it is. Stop stop giving me this dark Like the oh, it's gloomy every day. You know why because they work for Batman and they try to apply that same. Yeah, but copy and paste on Superman returns. Yeah. Oh, no man is still. I'm talking about Batman fuck crime at night. That's why Batman was at dark. Dark night. He didn't come out at noon in a fucking sweaty bat suit. They put him in too hot. And people would have been like, why is that asshole wearing that suit? He came out at night. Okay, that's why you can't have justice league at fucking night all the time and dark and crumbly. Like it's Seattle.

I wanted to murder myself. Crumbly? Yeah, crumbly. Everything looked like it was crumbling. I have to fucking figure it out. Got to say why? Google crumbly. Just in terms of a visual, I didn't get crumbly.

Well, working out, I did. I thought you were like, think of pastries or something. No, that's crumbly. Just in terms of a visual, I didn't get crumbly. I thought you were like, think of pastries or something. No, that's crumb cake. You fucking crumb. Wait, wait, crumbly, crumbly doesn't come from crumbly. I'm gonna kill somebody. Yeah, crumbly.

All right, now this had a great justice league. Had a great, all right, the flash scene was Superman turned and he was holding all the justice league And he was flying and he was like I got you motherfucker great scene. Yeah, great scene. I hate super any such a bitch Superman is not like just like it's seen by scene. They have scenes but it's not overall together the movie was It was weak it was seen by children. And here's why the movie stinks. They keep fighting these fucking weirdos

from other universes. You need to fight Lex Luthor. You need to stay on earth and deal with motherfuckers. Yeah. I need a guy that's smarter than you Superman because you have all the power. I need a guy to figure out how to fuck with you. And Batman.

That's why I hate Superman. I hate, he's just every power. I need a guy to figure out how to fuck with you. And Batman. That's why I hate Superman. I hate, he's just every power. Batman's cool. He's a regular guy. Can I say something? That's why Iron Man's cool. He's just a regular guy in a suit. Like, he's vulnerable.

There's vulnerability. He's a billionaire playboy, Florent the piss. Can I say something? Can I say something? I hope so. So we got another hour. The reason why the reason why Marvel works better than DC, Joe Hold your thoughts.

The reason why Marvel works better than DC. I have to. Because one of the greatest things ever said, I, what the fuck? Subtext is the best. So, what is it? What is it?

What is it? So many people can take that so many ways. Go ahead. Because. What is it? What is it? So many people can take that so many ways. Go ahead, because... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know what I'm saying? No, DC you just said one thing that wasn't true. Ironman is not an alcoholic. He was a doctor doctor doctor definitely to co-cat. He's got a lot of he's a hair problem Problems where people could relate yeah, but the man was shy. He was a nerd Marvel only character that had a problem with Batman. That's why it works so well They kill his parents

But everybody else they focused on the on the powers Superman's powers one to empower today focus on the alter ego the other I know I'm in had it in the comic book series, but not in the movies. They never really played up his alcoholism in the movies They played no, thank you. Yeah, they did it all sorts of shit. Well, he's an ego. Yeah. I mean, the greatest lines ever. Yeah, I can fly. I mean, you can't fucking, when he landed

and he was like, yeah, I can fly. That's the coolest, by himself going, I fucking just made something to make me fly. One of the baddest lines ever in the movie. I didn't know Iron Man was an alcoholic in the comic books. Yeah. Yeah. The thing is, I'm 35, so I don't know that Man was an alcoholic in the comic books. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The thing is I'm 35, so I don't know that much about. But when you was 10, I like baseball. You know, yeah, that's really. You don't think guys that like comics looks like baseball? They go hand in hand. Yeah. You see a fucking kid walking on the street in a Norman Rockwell painting.

He's got a bat in one hand a ball. The other comic book sticking out of his room. Yeah, Mike Lawrence and I had a good catch the other day. He's a man. And you look like David Banner. I think he said Bruce Banner earlier. David Banner, do you know that's still? I don't know, I don't know, I'm trying to tell you.

I'm moving to some other business. He's a show of Bruce Banner and everything else. I'm gonna move it on really quick. You know, I found out in the last, what's the one of women? I found, she was great, I loved her. I found out in the last, I thought I one of women? I found, she was great, I loved her. I found out in the last, I thought I was a kid.

I found out I'm gonna move on. Well, I found out on the last couple days that I'm, I have two modes. I have mob guy, mob boss, I'm gonna fucking murder you. And spineless jellyfish mode. There's no in the middle mode for me. There's no calm, hey, you know, and I don't want that or you're making me uncomfortable.

I don't like that or no, there's no no, there's okay, or get the fuck you, you fucking cock suck and you fuck me, I fuck you! Like rage pussy, like your rager or just a pussy. That is very true about this. I You know, I ever since calling had a heart attack. I've been very You know, I've been very scared about myself. I don't want to I don't want to grab my chest and fucking go First of all, I know that you know

There wouldn't be as epic You know know, as I say, Patrice. There would be one benefit at the pussycat. I do a benefit for you, and Max. Yeah, for one time. I'll do it over here, I need the money. You're not supposed to go to a hot attack foundation. No, it's supposed to go to my fucking kid. I'm telling you right now, if I drop dead,

something happens to me You cock suckers all he is will all raise them together, you know, you're not going near my wife Actually, you know what you can fucker Yeah, I don't know so many other people I have herpes are odd to it. I would never want you near my wife listen I just pictured fucking charade going, come on, donno! Donno, bring Maxi, baby! And hit fucker for way longer than he's supposed benefits. Did you get a million for your family?

What did you did you get a million for your family? Well, yeah What do you mean? Did you raise a million dollars for your own family? It's a star of a TV show sex and drugs and rock and roll. I'm not, I'm not like, like, have I raised him, have I had a million dollars? No, no, no, no, no, did you raise a million dollars for your friend? No, I'm not dead.

I'm saying if I die, Will. He's working on. What I'm saying if I, that's working on, working on dead. No, he's working on his fucking wealth and he's working. I've been made $4 million in your life. I've made more than that.

Listen. I've spent more than that though too. Look how you gonna spend more than you make? Because I have bills, a house, a child, two cars, plane tickets, and two to find the things in life. Yeah. Look at this table. This is at least 300 bucks.

I didn't pay for this. No. Look at the custom table too. Listen, I just found this. I drew this on a piece of paper. They made it. Tony. God bless talk a semi circle my iron man guy I've my arm could fold because of doing curls the other day. I would do the son of the cross listen Here's a deal. Yes, I want fucking you but you guys better fucking raise. I want max take care of the first guy

No, I've one of us had a raise max though if you had a pick one of us to actually take care of the kid I will take care of you I would take I would take out of here. You're out of your mind. I would be the best time stories every night I don't want John saw any you coming up driveway. She'd fucking shoot listen. Here's a deal. She loves me. She doesn't even know you All right, I'll call it right now if she knows you don't I'll give you a 20 That's it. I'll give you a 20 That's a regular thing. What about?

Silver says hello. I'm gonna I'm gonna say Justin said don't do you know Justin Silver? I'm gonna go just a silver says hello Do you know who he is? She's a with a sweetheart I am all right wait Let's say let's see let's see I'm gonna give you a 20 spot and then do will seven. I don't need I don't need $20. I'll take the 20 bucks. It's joking. I'm You need it. I saw the size of your top My top oh, you don't even fit in your top. Okay, you'd better get a better huge bass No talking though. You can't use tub, okay? Huge bathtub. Get a better f**k. Huge bathtub. No talking though, you can't use your voice.

What? That's how I'm very identifyable. Oh come on, I don't even know. I'm gonna hang up if you keep f**king yapping. Oh, oh. I'm gonna keep f**king it, I'm gonna hang up. You in or not? Sure.

Are you in or not? I'm in. It's a voice mill. She's, she's saying someone else right now. Yeah, let me call her, she'll pick up, don't worry. It's a voice female. I didn't see that joke coming You didn't you didn't yeah, no I did

We did I don't call it boy. She's gonna think something's wrong. You haven't heart attack I love that he thinks his fucking hack joke is in hack. No, you didn't that's original shut up Fuckin dough this fucking 25 years Toad is bangin Shut up. Fuckin' dough this for fuckin' 25 years. You're a callin' if the food is bad. Tawd is bangin' something. You're a callin' if the food is bad. Tawd is bangin' something.

You're a callin' if the food is bad. Everybody. Everybody. You worried about your health, though, you were saying. Robert, Robert, can I say something? Here's a deal, I wanna say one thing. Here's what happened with me, okay, over the last two days.

This is why I'm a fuckin' mush. And maybe you can help me with it. I'm mushing my, she's callin' back. No, okay, hang on, no,'m much your mic. He's calling back. No, okay. Hang on, no, no, say nothing. Don, real quick. Do you know Justin Silver? Justin Silver.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. Is that the, is that the comic who trains dogs? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Do you think he's hot? Who trains dogs yes

Thank you do you think he's hot? Not on my list. I love you bye. I can't buy I love you. Goodbye. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye. Why do you ask everybody's hot? You wait where this is hot enough hurt you're dealing what did she say? What did she say she said not on my list? Oh? Listen here's got to say something You're on her list though? Instead of all these benefits, instead of someone please take care of Mikey. Maxi.

Maxi, I can't believe that. Why don't you just focus on taking care of your health? Well, here's a problem. Here's what we're going to. Let's find my ninja help, okay? Because that was not me. I decided in the last couple weeks, maybe few weeks, maybe two weeks,

since calling, when that happened to call it really affected me. And I said to myself, look, I don't care so much about, you know, we do all these things. Like I'm gonna do this and that and try this and a podcast and all these part and go here and write this and it's for nothing and you wait for somebody to go, I like it and maybe somebody will give you a special or that's let's have that show or be a part I'm done right now. For right now

I'm going to do my shows that I have booked. I'm going to be the funniest motherfucker in the world that I can be. I'm going to do this podcast and I'm going to my shows that I have booked. I'm gonna be the funniest motherfucker in the world that I can be. I'm gonna do this podcast. Uh. And I'm gonna get in shape. I'm gonna get in. Okay, but here's the deal. Now, I had to join a 24 hour gym because I realized that I cannot go at noon.

I cannot wake up and go to the gym. I go to the gym after a show, late at night, my fucking head's going and I'll sit there. I'll watch, you know, deadliest catch for fucking nine episodes. Go to bed at 2, 3. Now, instead of that, I'm 24 hour fitness. God bless you 24 hour fitness. I opened up 12 minutes away from my house. I went to the gym last night, 11 the other day I went at fucking 12.

I'm going to the gym at night. When I, when I, I'm going, right to fuck now. Bobby time. I'm going three to four times a week for right now. I don't care what anybody says. I'm not listening to anybody. I'm not fucking taking advice. I don't want to know what to eat. I don't want to know what to do with the gym.

I am doing what I do, what I know I do, what I've done before. And that's it. I have five training sessions with a trainer for the last for six months, and around two, three months in, hopefully I'm gonna use those sessions to relieve the plateau that I'll probably get over the home. So here's the deal.

But here, okay, I go to the doctors, I gotta get a doctor, I don't wanna just go and do all this work, and then grab my chest, because I'm not, you know what I mean, I shouldn't be working out. I go to a doctor's, I don't wanna just go and do all this work and then grab my chest because I'm not, you know what I mean? I shouldn't be working out. I don't know the fucking doctors and this, this lady, I think all doctors are somehow good people or they're smart or they're, they're not. No. I didn't, doctors, this shitty doctors.

Oh yeah. There's dumb, there's dumb. On the show. show did like lawyers I don't I don't I don't get it and you walk in and I'm like can I just want to get this test I'm gonna get a calcium test Dr. Steve said get a calcium test that will let you know if you have a blockage Right, oh boy, like in your artery in your otter. It's right. I know that So I go can I I want to get this test and I want to get, you know, I want to get a, you know, your bum.

I'll call on that. I want to make sure I don't have f� answer. That's not so bad anymore, I heard. No, not so bad. And it wouldn't be bad for me either. I'm into it. So guys, she says to me, well, we, I'm not, you know, today we're not doing that. We're going to be doing a little blood work and I'm gonna be asking you questions and blah blah blah

And I go but can I get that test goes well? I wouldn't give you that test She's that's going on and on about how I'm not getting I wouldn't give you that test right want to make sure so she wants to just have me in there do these tests You know my insurance come back in again Thursday more money fucking referming down the gastro fucking blah, blah, blah, okay, more money, then I gotta do a stress test. And it's like, I shoulda, and I sat there and I was so uncomfortable that she wouldn't just, I had to do, and I said to her, I go,

I feel, I'm like, I feel weird, I feel uncomfortable. I don't know what's going on right now. Like what? What were you uncomfortable about, Bob? Because I wanted to get test done, and you're a doctor. And I'm saying, the doctor has to pay his mortgage, Bobby. Can, don't you understand that? Mortgage, his boat payment.

He felt like he was dragging this shit out. It was a woman. She was dragging the shit out. They, they are inferior. Hahaha. Chip. Hahaha. I don serious dude. I'm being serious They're not as good as us anything if one of you call me later and go what are we naming this podcast? I'm fucking just don't come back Just don't please

I'm fucking just don't come back. Just don't, please. She's got Yabba Deba-Doo written them three times. That's what she does. I'm getting shirts made. Ah, what about Yabba Gabby-Doo? I could be a shirt. Sorry, I said that. I mean, we are too.

Listen, I sat there and I took it and I went in and I did an AKG and then I come back and was sitting back and she goes, okay, I go, what about the AKG? What did that show? She goes, well, it doesn't really show that much. I go, I mean, my head, I'm like, why would you do it? Why would you do it? Why would I do the, I know.

Will's symbolizing money. You know what? And this, but why wouldn't, why at that moment, I should have said, why did you do it? Why did I take a test that you didn't, that you, that did nothing for me? You know, you should have said that. Why? You know what I said? Because it was not one of us.

If it was one of us, you would have, go down, go down that face, yell not face 100 times, but it was just Dr. Lady, who you think is smart. Hashtag bully. And then so you listen to her instead of like listen to your inner self. You know you can- I'm gonna really bully you someday.

You know you could do Bob- I'm gonna know what a bully is. Yeah, like the old days. I'm gonna take your fucking money. I'm gonna take you cigars. Throw them in a locker. Hang your phone. And then take his glasses.

You got called four vise. I'm gonna not take it as you, I'm gonna punch one of them. So one of them is working. He has glasses. Yeah, but those are cool glasses. They're the same glasses. I'm not the same That's in so hope dog Those are no glasses you're a nerd Can you finish your point please?

Your beard looks like that magnetic thing that you used to get as a kid with the little black things remember I'll you got the stick. Yeah, yeah the stick with the magnets I then never it didn't come in black face, but it was like a similar. I finish it thought well Don't let him fucking do that a path. That's it dude Michael can you knock it off? dude When it's when it's someone's like a doctor lawyer we we all might think they know better they they're gonna do better but you guys can I

tell you something happened please Damien Wands right Damien Wands good friend of mine Damien Wands no I'm not name drop and tell you what happened Joe let's get friend of mine thank you Damien Wands I had to go get a check for his diabetes right he was super scared he said oh man go ahead he's gonna tell me Thank you. Damien Wayne's had to go get a check for his diabetes, right? He was super scared. He said, oh, man, my go ahead. He's gonna tell me what not to eat. I gotta give up this food.

I gotta get it. So he was super nervous, cause he was not ready to give up these foods. So you go to the doctor, doctor said, Mr. Wayne's you had diabetes, but don't worry about it. Keep eating the way you are. Just take this medication.

Damien was even angered. Like, what? He said, how the fff? You're supposed to tell me the things I don't want to hear and you tell me to keep in the way I am. Yes. So I could take the medication. I could pay your freaking baggage. Yes. So Damien freaking flip and change. Like you know what I fucked at the doctors don't mean shit. So he changes, so

he changes his own health style. Plant, plant, they started yeah. And now he's much there because you go to the doctor man That's what they want man. They they want you to keep eating on it. It is a fucking it's a it's a three-card Monty It's a fucking scam. You know what she had me do a test and I asked her what it showed and she said not much I can't really we really can't tell anything from an easy really want to take some other tests I had nothing to do with then she took my the nurse took my blood pressure shelly beautiful woman shell um she goes you your bottom number is a little high she said your bottom number is a little

high I'm sorry what's the bottom number I don't remember guys you fucked the bottom number is a little high and then she said uh but she didn't say oh my god she didn't say we need to work she said it was a little high like that like it's okay the nurse the doctor comes in now Maybe because it was her It already had a little something for her. I was a little angry, you know a little not angry, but like fucking uncomfortable around Yeah, she says it's not you know, you know, this is this is this is not good like my blood pressure I don't know she's gonna fucking tell me to go on blood predetermined I guarantee fucking to you when I go in there

She's gonna try to get me on blood pressure medication and I'm gonna fucking say no, but why? Why because here's the deal I am gonna fucking like you said I'm gonna bring my blood pressure down myself I'm gonna go back to the gym. I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna bring my blood pressure down myself. I'm gonna go back to the gym I'm gonna walk out. I'm gonna fucking eat healthier. I'm gonna stop yelling at people. What? No, I can't do that I'm gonna lose my comedy gonna do that's my comedy. I have a you could a thing. Yeah good I just want to get this out. I don't want to give you advice But I have read that green tea can lower blood pressure. I'm addicted, I drink about 36 ounces a day. My parents both have skyrockety blood pressure.

I'm stressed and I have a horrible diet. I go and the doctor's like, your blood pressure is absolutely perfect. I think, because I drink 36 ounces of green tea a day. Wow, so I will take that advice. You try to drink it with some green tea. I will, I drink coffee all day. That's not good, that's not good for you,

blood pressure buddy. Look at that. After 12 weeks of drinking green tea, blood pressure was lower by 2.6 businesses. You know what, Bobby? I went to the endocrinologist the other day. I went to, can you read that out loud for you? I could hear.

You can lower your bottom number by 2.2. All right, he read it twice. I heard it when Joe read it. I'm trying to listen to that. I'm trying to listen to Justin right now, but you look at the shit. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm capping it in it. And'm trying to listen to Justin right now, but you look at the shit. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm capping in it and you're making my blood pressure go up.

But I listen in the cup to know. I'm the point of what you were saying, right? I feel like doctors, you know, they all have different opinions, they all come from different schools and then they have their personal background. So their opinions aren't necessarily cater to you. And now you know, like the medical industry is so impersonal nowadays.

It's like, all right, what's your insurance card? Go sit there, but there's so much information online things aren't necessarily cater to you. And now you know, like the medical industry is so impersonal nowadays. It's like, all right, what's your insurance card? Go shit there, but there's so much information online that I think at some point that people take the onus of their on themselves to like figure out what they want to do with their health. I went to see the end of the chronologist because I wanted to find out about like different test

oster replacement therapy. I was like, hey, here's the test I want to take. I called the lab. I was like, here's the list of tests that I researched. So the best ones to take. I did it all. Then I went to the doctor, I said, here, here's the tests I wanna take. I called the lab, I was like, here's the list of tests that I researched, so the best ones to take. I did it all, then I went to the doctor, I said, here. Here's all my labs, these are all the ones that I thought they were important.

Now can you just as a baseline to tell me if you think this would be good for me or not? And he was like, oh, you really did your fucking homework here. And then he didn't know half the shit that I needed to know. So I just went to another doctor that I thought to find the shit that I really needed to know. You know what just scared me the most about this doctor? word onus the word onus why when you said onus I took it out. No, that was a good one. See what you know what I'm saying. No, I understand

I went in so I I fucking I'm saying like you do the right thing by taking upon yourself dude I'm trying to forward the conversation. Yeah, let's do that. I'm trying to but you keep fucking going Do you know what I'm saying? Hey, you don't have to be like that. Go ahead and listen. What I'm saying? I do know you're saying, this is what I did in there as I have, she asked me, do you have any lab results or anything from before?

And I said, as a matter of fact, on my phone, I have an app that the other doctor that I used to go to, that I left because they weren't really that good. All my labs are on there, and I showed her. She looked at my phone and she goes, yeah, um, can you print this out at home and bring it back to me? You see it right now, motherfucker. And I said, you want me to go home and print this and bring back paper? Like, I felt like I was fucking Michael J. Fox.

Or is this a clinic? No, it was a doctor's office. And I said, you don't have, can I just email it? She was, I don't have an email. He, I go, you're not an email here? That I can email this to nobody here. And then this nurse, I go, I go, quite frankly, that makes me uncomfortable.

That you want me to go home and bring paper back. Right. I go, that's, that, what is that? I don't even understand that. You want me to go home and bring paper back right I go that's that What is that I don't even understand that you want me to go home and print something? It's here if they if data technology is not updated with email then Messin and their ways of treating people is not gonna be up there while the girl comes in and she goes can you she was like this? Can you print this she reads it? She goes is a fact on her right there. I'll just fax it, I'll have him fax it to us. She goes, they'll fax it like she was like, is this 1991 fax? Who, who, who, yeah, but that, but doing about fax nowadays?

1991, silence the lambs, one best picture director. I saw it on an actress. Within two seconds, within two seconds, the girl had a fax, called them, they sent all my shit over and literally within I would say five minutes under five minutes She goes here it is and she went oh wow like she was shocked Where is this doctor that you're going to it's in Eastville up in what happened Westchester? Hunts Point Westchester where they backwards they deprogracing next to a lord and tailors regressing Just fucking research all the shit about all the things in your health that you're concerned about I go online

And then you go to the doctors when you want based on the shit I used to wait 200 I used to wait 120 pounds show that to the camera Whoa really? I dropped 70 pounds Freaking changing the way I think then Educated myself about the foods I put in my mouth, and then applying it Listen, yeah, I told you I'm not I don't care. I'm not I told you I'm not taking pep talk. I was talking to Joe I don't care. I'm not taking pep talks. I understand what I need to do

What I'm saying is this and you just said research you're not hearing me I went in with the tests. I talked to dr. Steve. Yeah, I went in with the tests that I talked to Dr. Steve. I went in with the tests that I wanted to get. I did the research and she still denied me and said that I have to go through her process to get there. So now, I was like, the insurance won't let me go to another, you understand? I started the process. They're not gonna let me go somewhere else.

Just insurance, not gonna work like that. I have to kind of see this through now. So now I gotta go back for a stress test and she wants to me to go to a gastro Doctor, because of my my acid reef. So I have to go through all the shit and I was like this motherfucker. You can't just go to a doctor and say look. I want this this and this done and They do it. Yeah, they get a doctor's div. You'd be better off going to Tennessee. I would, I just don't know if he could, if he could do it.

Is that going to a store say, can I get some, can I get some plantains? No, sir, what we're gonna give you instead. What? Can you get what? What's a plantains? Plantains. Oh, plantains.

I don't think anybody say that, but. Is it called plantains? Is that it? It's plantains. It's plantains, but I never went to the store. plantain it's plantain But I never went to store and ask that sink I'm gonna check it Michael. Please look this up is singular plantain plantain No, yeah, right there planting no, it's plantain plantain like a plantain a plantain Planting plantin like a no plantain a plant tin a plantains is more the one plantain is one I love that I love this what you thought of can you go to the store and plantains was the first thing like well

He eats very well Plantins are good for you they are good for you We continue your thought so you go to liquid area after this gift the hook up hot damn let's go. Yes He gets the hook up at liquid Terry Terry I don't even know what that is. It's a goal every day. Juicing juicing juicing juicy smoothies Can I say something? It's not a fight. It's not a fight. Can you stop asking? This is not advice. Just talk. This is not advice. Can you finger down? This is not advice. My blood pressure is up now. Green tea

Juicing when you juice right? Yeah, it fills you up with the good stuff Yeah, but don't put don't put any foods just should only juice vegetables that's doctor will tell right there When you mix the sugar with the vegetables you messed up. Yeah, and then I talk to fucking verzy And he's like, dude, you can eat all the fuck eat all the sugars you want all the fruit you want all the vegetables You want to wait your watches. That's the best part. I lost 30 fucking pounds. When you sound like that, you don't take advice from people that sound like that. Why? He's a fucking guy. He's a funny guy, but not funny for health.

But that's why I'm not taking advice from you. What? I am not doing what you did. I just show you the before and after. I don't give a fuck. I don't want to, I don't want to look like you. I had diabetes too. I beat it.

Did you have diabetes? Yeah, I had diabetes, hop attention, high blood pressure, bad knees, bad back, sleeping plastic, I've sleeping problems, but I had all that, I'd be roast all that, how old were you when all this happened? 2000, I changed my life in 2006. Oh shit. 2007, I became a boss.

I'm not listening anybody. I'm not listening anybody. I'm not listening anybody. I'm not telling you my story. Well, you gotta take what I'm- Just told me to fucking not drink veg? What? Food juice.

What? Said don't mix it with vegetables. I said what I do is I drink only fruit, not what you said. Restables. You said don't mix them. I don't like a bad to mix them by the way. I think fruit is good for me. See?

Everybody can get fucked up in vies. Okay. Everybody has their own fucking way of doing it. I know. Everybody read one of them. And that's what fucks fat people up. That's what everybody has their own fucking way of doing it. Okay, we read one That's what fucks fat people up. Yeah, that's what fucks fat people up food in shape fucking people Given their fucking opinions and then they do it and it fails you have to find what works for you You got it's like people giving you fucking You say that's not to find your fucking voice

The right I used to have to these two You're absolutely right. I am right. He just, what do you just say? I acknowledge what he just said so that I know that you're listening. I'm getting jude out of this conversation is what's happened. What did you say again? No, I don't repeat myself. You have a good nose for a Jew. Thank you. Go on laughable and listen back to the episode.

Boom. You Jewish? Will you know me for a Jew. Thank you. Go on. Go on laughable and listen back to the episode. Boom. You Jewish? Well, you've known me for a decade. That's one of the guys. You talked about the Jewish. You said that last time, I told you that. His name's Justin Silverberg. Oh, Justin Silver.

Yeah, that's a Jewish name. That's Silver. They dropped out the Berg. Silver. Gabby's Jewish too. Gabby's Jewish. Rose. Luke's Jewish.

Yeah. You want to marry me? Yeah, no. Cool. What? Yeah, no. Sorry. Yeah, no. He's twice your age.

How would you have the Jewish? I'd say I love the fuck off. Minimum. What? How have you been Jewish? My whole life. What? How have you been Jewish?

Since I was born. I mean, I don't really. I'm not having this retarded conversation. This is ridiculous. Listen to me. I just want to give another example. A real quick of what a mush I am Okay, and this is one of the things I'm going to work on it the next year besides working out and getting healthy and

I'm at my house. I just went to the park with Max all day yesterday. We're having a blast first of all I want to say this too Parents fucking parents in Westchester, and their fucking kids are shit people. Parents just don't understand. I was at the park with Max, who is the most lovable, outgoing social fucking kid. We'll walk up to two girls and they treat them like shit. They wouldn't play with them,

they kept running from them, and he's a fucking cry right now thinking-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- two girls are fucking twats and they're shit kids. Because they have a babysitter or nanny that doesn't give a fuck about them and their parents don't give a fuck about them and they didn't socialize their shit kids and you're a better person Max. And when you get up to fucking next parent, same shit. These fucking, I bring Max into the city down to Central Park or the park over right by the, these city kids fucking hanging out, best friends.

Two seconds in. Yeah, because their parents are social people. Their parents aren't fucking assholes. You go up to these fucking Westchester and wherever the fuck it is, and these fucking elitist cock suckers teach their kids to be snobs and fucking pieces of garbage. If I saw my kid, if I had two kids and they were fucking making another kid sad,

let me tell you what the fuck would happen. I'd be like, listen, you better get over here, you come here, what you introduce yourself and you play together, I'm taking everything away. I'm taking it all away. I love the passion, but your blood pressure is going through the roof right now, Bob. It made me so sad, Justin. I know. I see my fucking kid who's just trying to be a fucking social, have fun at the park, and because their parents

are garbage people and didn't socialize these little twats, and this other fucking asshole is at the park. If you're a kid, if you have two kids, and there's another kid there, and they're not fucking playing together, you're a fucking bad person. You're a bad fucking parent. You're a bad fucking parent.

If my son, if Max was ever excluding somebody, I'd go, Max, you can't do that. We've done it. Max, you got to, you got to introduce yourself. And he goes up, hi, I'm Max, what's your name? But to talk, introduce yourself. And he goes up and hire Max. What's your name? But I'm fucking, I'm Gary. Cool Gary, come on.

Why don't you guys play together? And I've taken kids and made a bus to fucking cupcakeville that doesn't exist. All of a sudden, it's five kids hanging out. We're all having a good time. Go. And I'm a fucking dad okay as a parent you should do that you should acknowledge your kids being assholes take the other kid bring them and have some fun with you they just sit there on

their fucking phones on their phones they sit there like this huh no no no okay get the fuck off your phone Put your phone in your fucking pocket. Oh, fuck them. That was a side note. I'm gonna say that for years by the way. I can't stand it. It makes me want to move back to the city. I want to move back to the city. Move back, let's hang.

That makes me want to stay. I'm telling you. We should move back. Cause Max is very important. My family tell you something. If you're a parent and your kid treats another kid shitty You're a piece of shit. Yeah, the worst you're the fucking problem It's not fucking anything else learn behavior. It's not anything else this world is fucked up because you Past on your shit learn to a fucking little sponge.

I think I'm the kids of the lightning rods of their parents' dysfunctions a lot of times. P.U. That's not me. I've seen it. Look at, I know, I know fucking parents that fucking let their kids be little pieces of shit to other people.

You're raising somebody to hurt somebody else, emotionally, not physically, emotionally, which is worse. Which is fucking worse. Hashtag Lewis is a great dad. I've seen Lewis. Lewis is a great dad. Lewis is a great dad.

He's just psychotic person. Doesn't matter. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm so cute. I'm talking about his kid. When you see him, his kid, his kid is a good kid you can tell his kids a great kid he's socially the sweet guy his kid has a big hearty wears his own a sleeve you know him and

Max had a fucking problem Max came a nice shot to the gut no because well he took it took Max's toy and Max is like whack and but you know what Max went over to him at the party. We talked about this. And he ran over and gave gave him a big hug as party and gave happy birthday, whatever. And Lewis's kid was like, I'm glad Max is here. That made me happy. What he just did. That's a good person that I can acknowledge good things. These are the kids. They were hurting my kids' feelings. And they laughed. Fuck you. How old are you? I hope, I hope 21 and 13. I hope, I hope you play.

I hope your player is in the basement and it floods. Where were the kids? What's in the basement? They're play area. Player, how old are these kids? Not that the kids are in it. I just hope they can't use it anymore. How old are these kids?

Three, four. Oh, younger, maybe five. My max is age, maybe uh, younger, but maybe five. Maybe Max's age, maybe one little older, but one younger. It happens all the time. Every time I go to parks in this fucking up in Westchester where these fucking elitist people live, and they're not even that rich, by the way. I'm just, I have as just as much money as you, you fucks.

I'm just, I live right next to you. The Jones and St. John. I'm just not a fucking piece of garbage like you. And I spend time with my kid. And I'm trying to teach my kid values. It is a fucking nightmare. It nothing makes me sicker because these two little kids didn't even know any better.

They don't know that they're fucking assholes. You know, that's why I met Gabby's dad this weekend. Oh yeah. How was her dad? Her dad is fucking great. He's fucking him and his wife, your stepmom. I mean, fucking loaded. I mean, you can't get fucking more money than them.

Your parents are rich. But they're Jersey trash. They're real trash. They have, let me tell you something. Who's the girl in the middle? Oh shit, that's your dad. That's a family. Let me tell you something. Who's the girl in the middle? Oh shit, that's your dad. That's your dad. That's your dad.

He's a bad mom. Look at that. We talk about it. Oh, dad's in a Molly Crew cover band. Holy shit. His mother is Jennifer Edmond. Her father, listen, her father is the keyboard player for Bon Jovi. David Bryan.

He is not only a keyboard player, but he's a fucking genius. He's written a ton of musicals and he writes music. He's a fucking he's a genius. He's he's written a ton of musicals and he he writes music He's a piano player. He's he's just fucking but he's a great guy and he kept saying to me over and over About raising the kid we're talking about kids. He goes I just told my kids not to be assholes I told my kids to be good people now. That's a guy who's got all the money, all right? He's got houses sure, okay? He's got houses. Sure. Okay, he's good He goes on does it all and he fucking raised his kids not to be fucking assholes now Gabby's still an asshole Yeah, he fucked up. It's more like a genetic. Yeah, but

You know what I mean good people you you it doesn't matter how much money you got it doesn't matter what you you can raise Fucking good kids to be good to other kids And then the world problems will fucking end fucking scumbags So anyways, I'm at my house Hmm after the park this is why I'm a weak piece of shit, and you maybe help me with this Go me not you wait wait wait you want advice now? Well after that rant. I'm sorry. I had to let that out it really made made me mad It just came out. I wasn't gonna talk about you working it out buddy. I Met it's around six o'clock seven o'clock. Well six o'clock. Well shit. I have to leave it three fifteen

We're there you not oh and then the door the door ball that At the door which up in my neighborhood, you know, you really don't hear nobody knocks you door get it time Open it up. It's my wife's talking to a guy and my guy fuck now i go immediately grab a i have weapons all over the house so i grab a uh... switchblade uh... no knives and sticks and bats and shit so i'm juxtaposed all over the house i have them juxtaposed

i have uh... i have uh... switchblade on top of the fridge and grab the switchblade put in my back pocket. Bottom from Lewis. And then actually I got it from his dad. I was at the scene. It's an antipod. So I opened the door and it's optimum. The guy from optimum, trying to sell us optimum. Optimus Prime? Do you stab him? No.

What do you have now? Cut to 45 minutes later. I switched, he got me. He got you. At dinner, I let him in my house. We sat in my, and this, I let a Chinese guy that with an Italian guy name who spoke like fucking Joe Pesci come into my house and make me switch to optimal me switch to optimal. What the fuck is so funny about me?

No, he talked like an Italian. Oh, he got a you got adopted by a time Is it worth it? Buddy, I don't know everybody I talked to is like my friend Joe Jordan. I was like I Told him that I switched to optimum that I I kind of this guy came in and got me. He goes- he almost hung up on me. He's like, you fucking moron. You switched from Verizon? You- you had vios? Yep. Are you all medication?

What is wrong with you? Is it bad? That's bad. Uh, Giovanni the Gook got you again. Huh. Put up non-vios. I'm such a weak person Guys I need that was dumb. That was stupid. Are you our medication?

You should have stabbed the guy man. Should have stabbed him killed him dead. Optimus is ready 203 3rd and the number has more numbers to higher numbers Look at 5 is 435 and and often is two zero zero. You can go back buddy. It's okay. What happened? What did I do?

How did they get me? You want a weak fucking person? No, you're a sweetheart. That's what it is. You're a sweetheart. Why don't you just get dial up? It's an equivalent to optimum. He told me it was 200 up.

35 down. I didn't need the down. I didn't need the download. I mean the upload. I didn't need Listen down you have it. What did I do? I need help you know it is it's a balance Bobby You're crazy on this and then a softy in the middle is the guy who's not who's gonna invite the guy in not stab him But not also not by the optimum you got to come to the middle How come now? Come on, Bobby didn the incursion mind, kick him out. No medication.

Virus is way better now. I think the fourth medication thing is gonna hit. I didn't hear the first three. Listen, is it that doesn't? Look at that. I wanna say something real quick. All right, I wanna go through this, please. Sure. Okay, 940, I wanna go through this, please. Sure.

Okay, 940, I don't really need that, okay? I have 200, that's fine, right? That's what you say now, Robert. Okay, but if you're paying the same for what you get in 900. Oh, God, Michael. But it's two and a half stars and three stars, isn't that the same?

No, yeah. But 300 is your target. Wait, so. Just green. I hope he gets fat. I'm really sorry. Then nothing better than me. You're seeing a fat Joe list in it around, around 40 when you hit 40.

I know it's gonna be a problem. He's tall. He's gonna be tall. His mouth is gonna look even smaller. We'll have the same size head. I feel like Joe's naturally skinny tall. His mouth is gonna look even smaller. We'll have the same size head. I feel like Joe's naturally skinny though. Yeah. I work out fun real quick.

I really, I work out quite a bit actually. And I drink a lot of green tea. Yeah, I can tell, man. I have smoothies. Dude, I'm telling you, bio is just a better thing. So he got me. He got you.

Wow. And then another thing. Yeah, I'm ready to hear something. He came back ten minutes later and goes,'m so sorry. I thought I fucked up. I told you it was It was this but it's really $10 more and I made I get a second. I was like, okay Bobby, let me ask you question. I'm a weak person. He came in your house. He set down right now You made like good with him a little bit He's raised by Italians. I should have known you can't like you can't do a little under the table

Like I'll give me like a few fucking months free like cable guy. He gave me listen He said this was I'll buy you out of your contract full no matter what you'll have three years on no Contract hang on three years no contract no contract. Okay. You can get out of the shit tomorrow. I had 30 days I can get the fuck out. Oh today But they come in Monday should I try it now? No, Robert you're gonna be disappointed. You think you don't need This is what they can't say something can't say something 300 is a not as a number they tell you but there's not that that's not the real number

It's always less. So when you see 300, think 100. You're getting them really sad. When you see 940, think like 8700, but at least, Robert, I gotta give you the medicine. I gotta give you a hardcore. I gotta go do walk with no condom. This is what you need to hear. Try the shit out, man.

You can always go back, wait, you could go back the other way and then listen How hard is he gonna try to fucking please you take that pain? You're like yo, man. This is not satisfied me He's a big all right. Let me tell you what I can do Then he's then you get the fucking leverage with that guy Hold that number that number is it's whatever they give me a month. It's a try it out dude Try it. I say you try it out then you got the guy by the balls If he doesn't you know if the shit doesn't perform like listen Giovanni you came over here Steve You said he was it. He said in Italian a Asian guy with an Italian Steve Raghu the Asian that's

That's fucking go yeah Raggoo? Yeah, raggedini or something I read you You got nothing to raggoo? It was the last name of that Thor movie Raggedon Go ahead say rag say raggedini Raggedini You actually got it try the shit out try the shit out if it doesn't work you got the guy you got Steve raggoo by the ball So should I try? Yeah, no, listen to him. Yeah, try what's gonna happen? He's only saying that cuz he's happy telling so he wants you to What's gonna happen if you try it? Oh big deal fuck what's it gonna happen? You know me sound Jewish should I call right now?

I can't I would call Fios to see you ask them why you should stay Oh, then they're gonna yeah get a bit of war you got to get those guys. You got to get them at each other Yeah, well right now I still have vios. I have because I'm not canceling Is that a bios? Fios? Whatever the fuck it is with a f you see the f Yeah, but you've both been saying vios. I don't know. I don't care. I know that I have but optimum You can talk to the remote Mm-hmm bring up the advertising for optimum. I don't have either do a comparison this bring it up I want to bring up a YouTube optimum, But I have the new one the new AC it is like I I I I'll tease all tease

Yeah, I'll tease commercial First one take one one is the first one. This is the old. Okay, do it ready? We go turn it up big and loud first All right, here we go, and then I don't know if it goes big so just play it there watch this this is oh look at this watch this look at all this wires I have that all with Verizon all those things I have boom simple city that's your current situation oh this is it now you're going to this yeah this is the shit dude oh look well black people you should be happy there you go what the fuck Oh, look, well black people, you should be happy. There you go. What the fuck? Go, go, go, just give me my mama.

Voice activate. No separate care wasn't. Wow. All of one box. The whole home And every room oh well, I was so waited All included the first year knowing your contract Yeah, Steve ragged any fucking nailed it. It's a great commercial nailed it What do you think that That's what come on. That's the shit. Looked out Steve Rannagini fucking killed it. What's the bios commercial?

What's their crap? I you wait a minute you're a fucking flip flopping. No, I'm saying at the beginning of this you called me a moron like everybody else I said try it. No, you're saying I never called you a moron while you were implying that you never as I said try it. No, you're saying I never called you a moron. Well, you were implying that you never as I said it You know, when did I say that when I'm gonna tell you if you let me finish please her hold on stop saying words and let me fucking talk Oh, I love this kid when I said yeah, when I said I went to optimer you both you and him know I didn't you went No, I didn't know I did not I did not Gabby. Yes Gabby. Did he do that? No, he was actually the only one who was on your side. What the fuck Bob? I'm trash. I thought you trashed him too. One of my other things is that I forget

Work on that we'll get to all that next we'll get to that next play. Let's try the road I hate this kid Fucking dumb face. I know, Zoe. What's going to be a fire, anyway? What's the grade of out of 100% fiber optic network that makes your game into some action? You take out the trash. Garbage boy.

Dad, I already took out, Ben. It's not fun. Gaming is best. Down to 100% fiber optic network. So get Fios. You can't even ask that commercial. 99th commercial. It's not fun. Gaming is best, down to 100% fiber optic network. So get Fios. You can't even ask their commercial. 99th commercial.

It's like you're scared. Great porch. Great porch. And he was on a hit show and that's the house he bought his parents. Dude, f**k. Shit house. I mean, F-5. Those are two different commercials.

Number one. Number two. The only thing that they sell you is a talkable remote, which is becoming more popular. files the same remote on via files Fire most fucking is coming out with a new remote soon show me that new remote files. I you're lying. I said it's coming out soon I said dude you're lying. Hold on. You're just making that what do you relax? You're lying. You're lying. You're the best. I am the best. Okay, what's about a voice remote? I don't get the voice remote. There you go. There you go. Let's find it. Click on the thing. Find it or image.

Voice remote. Where is it? Can you read? I'm gonna have Mike read read it. Michael. Michael. Just switch over from Xfinity to Verizon and call me lazy, but Xfinity's voice remote was such a convenience to me compared to looking up The guide to find channels if I have a voice remote. I feel it's time for Verizon to jump on the bandwagon and add that feature It's so much easier and convenient to me. I'm gay. No, no, no, you know what's the job saying? I told you that is coming out. It's one of those can buy you as well. It's one of them. You know how like when the first phone came out with a camera,

and every phone had a camera? Mike just said something. Like he said, you can buy your own, but you can't actually, there's not one that they give you right now. I know. If you listen to what I'm saying, Bobby's got 30 days here. He can't wait for them to invent something in 30 fucking days.

He's losing weight, right? Eating better. He's eating wait for them to invent something in 30 fucking days. He's losing weight Right eating better. He's eating better. He needs not on the planet on the contract. Oh He's got 30 days you can't wait for them. It's not a Bob maybe Inventor here. Well, why you still yeah, but that but doing Will Bobby are you on medication? No, this the problem is that my therapist, that was a joke, I'm falling back to his jokes, I know, but I'm sorry. I wanna address that.

My therapist can't give medication. I know, he could, he could, he actually, a long time ago, a long time ago, he referred me to somebody years ago, my first time going to him, he referred to me to somebody, because I said I you know I know three dudes on shit Mm-hmm, and why the fuck am I not I'm a mental patient? Why am I not and he goes wow if you want to do I'll not and he hooked me up

I took the stuff It was the worst ever would you take I don't know what the fuck dude an eye presence fucked me up You talking to presses though. Yeah, I took one and I couldn't climb for like three years. No shit. Hey, who's that guy? Why he's so happy? That's me. I feel like this positive change you're gonna make

with the diet and with optimum is like, you're on a good fucking course, bro. Dude. You don't need fucking clonapen. Clonapen's fucked. So Justin, you think I made the right choice? I think this is what I think, right? I think just like the doctor situation, we're going to experiment and try things and then come to our own fucking conclusions rather than

relying on commercials and we'll still ventialling at you about plantains. And if we want to go back the other way, Steve, round up fucking Gini's going to come over and play Gio, bro. There's easy. You didn't make, you didn't make us happy. We're going to go the other way. And we're not going to have a fucking conibction fit about it, right? Right us happy. We're gonna go the other way. And we're not gonna have a fucking conibction fit about it. Right? Right. We're living in the fucking solution. That's what I think, Bobby. Are you talking to me like a, are you doing dog tricks on me?

No, I'm talking to you man to man. Alphamanda, Alphamanda. Yeah, two Alphamans fucking talk about how to get shit done. All right, that's what I mean. All right, you need a stress test? I got a fucking place in Chelsea. We'll get your stress test fucking this afternoon after this fucking service. Yeah.

You can't stop looking at your biceps. Yeah, you should be. Because you do this? Yeah. Check it out. I've been doing justice over work. You have never been to the gym with me. I asked you if you want to go four times.

I don't want to go with you. No, I asked him, Alan, who said, you know, talk to Joe, be friends with him, love him, invite him places. Ignores me, Joe. I don't ignore you. I'll show you all the text responses. I want to I

You know Not as available as I need for our friendship. You're not as available as you think you're not available for friendship You respond back this and that you know, I want to hang out with you. I don't give a fuck about text messages Hang on a second. Well, what are you doing? You like I said every text. I know but I want to hang out with you. I like you hanging out right now and You live in Chelsea. I live in Queens and you go hey, you want to work out today? I'm like I'm already working out I'll go with you to your gym. I just want to be welcome to my my gym. Sure. I'm happy to I box free. I'd love to thank you I'm about companions. Why are you succumb boxing? You should see my girlfriend's box. Did you enjoy it? Sorry, I spit on you. Well, I thought you was mad. you got girlfriend too. It's just a joke. I'm just joking. So you do have a girlfriend.

You try to hide it. Do you feel better? Gabbitt's time for us to let them know what time we're dating. I love you. I feel better. How do you enjoy a box? I heard David. One second. You're not dating any comics. You're dating Dan Soder? I told you, I told you father. I want to go back to Dan. I asked me out I want to go back for her dad for one second. Oh, your parents your mother Yes, fucking hilarious. She is she's so funny very funny, and your dad is fucking funny. Well, I mean I can't I'm so So funny skips the generation I thought that was great funny skips the generation. I thought that was great.

I love how much it really annoys you, Tim. Joe, I know you're on my side. I know I was a good singer. This is what I said before. I tried to do that. Nobody's on your side. Joe's on my side. Joe's on my side.

Joe's on my side. It's the skill post 10 years ago. That's my side. You're on my side. I'm on your side, so Joe's also on our collective side. We're all the same team here. You don't have a side. It's a collective side.

But there's no, when I say my side, I mean us. Yeah, but no, you don't say my side. You say our side. Okay. I'll have a white people fight. Can I just say this happens sometimes. You have a good joke. We have jokes in our head.

Comedy's a language and you have it. And you have to assign it to somebody. Sure. So I don't think you're not funny. Scope was like, you hurt my feelings. I'm like, well, I just have a good joke. And I gotta give it to somebody. Oh, I know. So I gotta go and take to somebody. Sure. So I don't think you're not funny. Scope was like, you hurt my feelings. I'm like, well, I just have a good joke. And I gotta give it to somebody. Oh, I know.

So I gotta go and take a couple of you stick. Rape us, rapers do the same thing. Ha ha. What? What? They zing people? I have, well. I'm used to call it back in the 40s.

Uh, whoa. I'm gonna fuck him up. I'm gonna fuck him up. Anyways, I think you're great. And I think, uh, women are inferior. Why can't I date a comic? Can't date a comic why cuz you cuz you say to my parents. That's what you were just saying Why do you need permission from other people who you date you can do whatever you want because I like my job Listen here's it's me getting paid cuz I feel like I've really been working hard in the show for a long time

I don't want you Meeting dudes on this show. You can do whatever you want behind my back, but I am not hooking you up. Was it like pegging? You mean what comic are you wearing that you want a date that you worried about? I don't know.

Oh, she's attracted to Dan Soder. Who isn't though? May. If you want to hear a comment, who's a top three comics you'll have a date? If you want to hear a comment, what do you mean? who's a top three comics you'll have a date issue with today the comment What do you mean who's a top three comics you you like yo dc Allen Lenny Marcus and That's all the same guy

That was me look at me Jim snorting I I'm not a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man.

I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm a fucking man. I'm just I'm thinking it was weird. I caught it too. I'm thinking I'm like I'm just like why she's don't sexy thing. I'm not sexy thinking this That's how I look, Bobby. Well, don't look there. Can you do that face again? What's your eyebrows?

You're trying to do this guy. I'm not trying to do this guy I would never date a female comic or a Jew so that's why to think I would never I'm sorry She's not Jewish. Yes, she is. She's only half of each Joe's on fire. I don't want it because here's the thing. I love having the show We Shut up if something happens you fuck to it shut up Justin sorry if something happens between them two right? Yeah, I'm fucked my shows fuck while we're Dan Adamin because now I can't I would love to To date Dan Adamin you can date Dan Adamin all you want I know I did with that. I shouldn't my doctor know about Gabby

And it's so hacked to date to be into dance soda it is every girl like I already was soda. Why don't you fucking heck up a will that's kind of yes will that's someone a little edge I think dance cute why every dance of the deal dance so does cute wow I still not have sex I'm into big heads Dan does have a massive huge We're Mike my thinking on Mike Vaguion is a massive head. There you go. That's a good 68 years old 19 16 22 24 Are you 24? Yeah, plus you're gonna date a guy in comedy you're gonna fuck up your whole

You're gonna have to live with that forever. Yeah, why is it such a big deal? Why can't we all just relax my wife is a comic Yeah, what do you mean that's like the one? What it's not like we're gonna know that now, it's times he bitches about having a comic wife you bitch a lot about your wife I'm a bitch about my wife ever you call a bitch What she likes it what do you mean relax? Why why does it have to end in such a like a fiery explosion? Let me ask you question. What if it if it just ends and then everyone's cool? What if it just gets married?

Have you been on this planet? That doesn't happen. Yeah, it does. No, it doesn't. Justin, school here, please. You think too calm, is she gonna date and then you're gonna be in there? And then it's just gonna phase out.

You're not just gonna talk. K-hate again and end. How about... I'm not gonna be the last to chill and back. What takes it in the bum? He's less afraid of that, more afraid of end. What makes you think either one of those people are okay? They're not okay. Like it is no. It's a nightmare people talk shit about not your ears It's what we're all about. Fuck it. Let's all fucking shoot. Can I actually something? Can I actually something? Yes?

Why do relationships end bad? because of ego, insecurity, self-esteem and Communication communication break not non-communication Yeah, communication break people people feel and resent and don't self-esteem and communication. Communication break. No, non-communication break. People feel and resent and don't talk. And then, and people, when you first meet, it's so shiny and new and you like it and then all of a sudden somebody becomes, usually one becomes on top and the other one becomes on bottom.

Broke that button. As far as ego-wise or self-esteem-wise, and the one on the bottom is usually chasing, oh, I need to, you know, because you started out even. No. And all of a sudden, you're down here and they're up there. And the more that that happens, the more this person doesn't want anything to do with you.

And that bugs the fuck out of somebody, especially a comic who has an ego. Yeah. So you got an ego, you're an alpha woman or human. People, I don't get fucking blogs written about me in Canada, right? And now you're in Canada. Because in Canada, they're calling women and and met humans people they're not using human

and more because it's got a man the word man and the word man is offensive to certain people if you're in Canada I was only joking I think women and men are equal uh... so not ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I love that joke was given to all women. I had to come out. So I think that it wouldn't work. Okay. And then, I think Bobby's talking about my marriage right now and it's hurting my feelings considering you are a part of your marriage. No, your marriage is going to work. Let me ask questions. Do you have problems in your marriage about maybe... Communications? Yeah. No, we communicate quite a bit. But you have problems about the business? Is that effective at all?

Like me? No, we're going great. We're very happy. You're one of the few relationships comedic really to work. I just a lot. Like name them. Be way too much to deal with.

Well, you know, Tom Carter and Kerry, Tom and Kerry. Okay. and then this rich and Bonnie Okay And then there's you know who fucking Al Dushar and What's her name again? I love while we didn't you say one one headshot per relationship isn't that you said that I don't Never did it with a headshot. I don't that you said that I don't I never did it with a head shot I don't really want drama mama. So Robert. Yeah George. George Allen and Gracie Allen, but actors eight actors all the time In musician state musicians. What's with the comics not dating comics? First of all

That's a real question if you're because it because comedy is an ego-based thing You're you're getting up by yourself. it's about you, it's nobody else. You're a musician, you're in a band, you're in a fucking orchestra, you're an actor, you're in a cast, you're a comic, we're in our own fucking world, and you have to have the mother fucker of all egos to keep it sustain it and keep it going and keep it getting better. You have to have an ego with confidence.

And then once you become vulnerable with another comedian, the same type of person, someone's gonna have to not be the motherfucker. Someone's career is gonna go here. The ups and downs. I have to worry about Don booking a gig and me having to cancel my gig. It's her gig pays more money. But your love shouldn't be based on that.

Why would you cast on your gig? I don't love work. Hold on. I'm saying, you know, it's hard to get past that initial phase. Some people do. But why would you? A lot of relationships don't.

A lot of these relationships don't work because of that. Right. Because all of a sudden you're on a set, or you're at a club, and all of a sudden there's somebody new, or some new guy, or a new girl. And you're both in that fucked up world. Well, we got to cancel the only president. How come you can't do your set for $20,

and she do her set for $2,000? How come you have to cancel your set? Now I don't get it because he knows he knows himself. He knows what he's comfortable with. He knows if you have to someone has to stay home. I mean, look at Carrie and Tom had fucking a lot of kids. Carrie had to put her career on hold. Now she's starting to rejuvenate her career. Is it gonna be that thing of a deal if Gabby puts a career on hold?

Well, I mean, sorry, that was the last one. What if they were together and you think Dan would put his on hold? Why are we putting careers on hold? I don't know. As if you're going to have kids at this point. Why are we talking about this? Dan, he has an e-messri out. Dan's pulling out.

Dan, that's a pretty Dan. He doesn't pull out. he rod dogs and leaves it in All relationships running to those things you want the supermarket you get array Oh, she's the manager the supermarket. I should have been the supermarket No, it's gonna be so heightened. It's gonna be so heightened and entertain me You're out of your fucking mind the manager of a supermarket doesn't have the fucking ego that a comedian has here's the Here's the corner to this. Are you comparing those still? I got her who literally goes hey, did you put the orange juice?

I'll be up in the up in the office looking down on it that guy doesn't have the same confidence as Comedian who's going in front of 2,000 people and they introduce Gabby What's your last name? What about a snowstorm? Ghosty stores have a lot of people in them. Brought it. For a snowstorm. Gabby, I mean, come on. Yeah.

Is your stepmom, a singer, or an actress, or a musician? Or is she a square? Painter. OK. And a producer. And a producer. And a producer. You can meet somebody.

OK, you can meet somebody in the music business. Why? Don't they have musicians? Don't they have me ghosts? Why? Because I don't. Musicians, they have me go. Don't they have me go. Why? Because I don't. Musicians, they have big, they go's in comedians.

How did a musician start? What about an artist? Kind of crazy. What about an artist? Okay, yeah, sure. All right, so we'll find you an artist. I know a lot of artists. Dan asked me out.

But Teo Lane. Who's Dan? I was looking into the camera. Wow, that you need it. Dan's watching this. Yeah. Speaking of Canada, do they stop saying menstruals and mental also? Why didn't hear the first word?

Mentional? Mentionals? Yeah, do they stop saying menstrual cycles in Canada? Because they've been, they take it all the world to admit in it. Mm. Manipause, they stop saying menipause. I don't think that that's man.

I meant to break down. I don't know, I don't know. Maybe you're right. You just said that they stopped saying human. Man, man, man. So then, so then what's worse than the man? I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not Canada. So stop yelling at me.

I didn't do it. I'm just, I'm just saying. What are you the one that did the research? I didn't do the, I just mentioned that. I saw something on it. Can I just say a couple minutes of things please? I got hard out for 30 Bennington please the counter to what you're saying is you are in the same world You think similarly of the same similar senses of humor your bechamediants who are your favorite people to hang out with in the world?

Comedias, yeah, but you know When I go home I don't't wanna fucking talk about that shit. Dude, I couldn't be more in a greener with Bobby on this. I don't, I don't. I'm a fucking miserable. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Dude, I couldn't be more in a greener with Bobby on this. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I're like oh, I was at the office today and Billy and fucking dead and you're like I don't know these fucking people out fucking Rewrushing dude. I'd be like oh thank God I don't know what right now. I don't have had plenty of great relationships. I would never never Why I'm not in one right now? That's a mean thing I would never I would never want to date somebody who is in the It's like I want to leave the loan

But he's talking about him. No, we're talking about her Don't say Joe you're saying right now that dating a comic is easier is just as easy as dating a girl Yeah, I don't know who's not better because they understand the business you happen to me I'll be talk shut the fuck up shut the fuck up Jesus Christ you turn Bobby Bobby Kelly on it's on them. Yes, it's great because you understand the business Hey, baby. I can't go to the birthday party. I picked up the funny bone. Oh great. That's great. Go do that I understand that you You understand my wife. You know all the say people you go that guy's a hack. I know he's a hack. It sucks.

You also have to go I had to I hung on Justin Silver. She's gonna go. Oh my God. That wasn't a nightmare. I was like, your wife loves me. She's gonna go like this. She does. So do I. She does love. But see she's different. She's did. She is very fucking. She's you have a very feminine. Why? She but she's she's very feminine. She's different. She's different. She's very fucking she's you have a very feminine why she but she's she's very feminine She's nurturing she's different. What is most female comics are just like they're like David I'm saying I am I'm not trying to say them saying exactly what I want to say. No, you literally went But here's the thing we have a

other The amount of the amount of The amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of

the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the

the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the

the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the the amount of the I don't, I'm just saying this. It's a good way to look at it. I disagree. I have great friends, you. Thank you. I love the car. Sorry, I love their family. I think carter's family is great. They pulled off, but there is still issues that you have to deal with, that your someone's gonna take a hit. Joseph, when you have a kid, hang on.

If you do, are you pulling out? I said the same thing too when I got married to. I thought I'd have a kid we're not having a kid hang on if you do are you pulling out? I said the same thing to when I got married to I thought I'd have a kid when I've against that might change my wife is 58 years old Yeah, she's like youngest shit. Oh, well, thank you. Okay. Stop fucking Scooby-Duin Well, I'm saying Joe is if someday you have kid, someone's gonna have to stay home with that kid. Do you understand? Yes, but that I mean, but you're naming problems that show up in relationships. That's every relationship. No, you date somebody not a problem. Mine. Yeah, the problem in mine, but you go that's like saying stay at home. They don't data. Don't date an accountant because their father might die. And it'll be devastating when the father dies. Hold on, tell me, I mean,

the problem for every relationship. And to bits of Bobby, he didn't say, don't they come in, he said she could date them. What, and what of me? Depends to Bobby. Depends? Depends. Ignorant goes, hold on.

Whatever you do, don't try to date somebody that you have the most in common with. Wait, we did say that she could date Dan Adam. And so Dan Adam, a technical reason, a comedian. I'm just saying, you got I want a human being though. I just don't want her to date somebody that on fire. If you want to date somebody, you can date someone. What do you mean that on fire?

Dan's so does on fire right now. All right, he's not Justin Bieber. Let's find out. No, I like Dan on my show. I like you on my show. I don't want there to be. I don't want to go ahead and get down on the show and you go Can you call them?

I would never do that though. Oh god also you can go on the road with your wife or husband. Yes We'll go on the road now. We're on the road now. I'm not apart from my wife She opens a front end the steps and somebody jokes and then does some stuff and you were gonna do it I'll be saying he doesn't want to date someone someone who's got a fucking female with an ego like that That's what you say Egos, I'm sorry you say Listen, I do a female Eagles I you're out we got you Joe don't worry we got you got 15 more minutes. Here's the deal

I love when my wife has an ego my wife has confidence. Yes, my wife is a very strong woman She is a stay-at-home mom the hardest thing I've ever in my life seen anybody do I couldn't do it To be a stay-at-home dad to pull will Smith in any of his later films and be a stay-at-home dad and take care I wouldn't be able to do what she does. I don't, she's amazing. Just the amount of work from son up to son down is crazy. My wife is a very strong woman and she's a very confident woman and she has an ego. I don't mind the ego.

I don't mind confidence. I love that. It's the dynarsicism. I just don't, I would not want to, I just, I don't want to have to to fucking hey, how did you get that? Why is your agent oh god? I can't I thought you think he could I know he can I don't want to deal with that shit I'm with my with my full agreement with you. I just don't want I don't I don't I go home I just want I don't want this to come with me. I want home to be home I want to get a bushcraft knife from Jack Law in London and with a little fucking bench with my son and not have to think about

I want to do the two things, I don't need I just mentioned it in case anybody's listening has a Jack Law or knife I'd like to purchase it from you. Those see I don't like to make things about race But those feel like very white things. Anyways, I don't know both my parents are in the industry and they have a great time So okay, I won't say anything wrong with it. I agree with Joe. Thank you, Gabby. I you're welcome. You don't see what's shit and we eat I Mean what I'm saying you don't see shit and we eat I see that for you But maybe not for me. Maybe not for Joe list. Yeah. Oh, I see you let it let her do it. Let's see what happens Be awesome. I hope you get pregnant

Let's see what happens. Be awesome. I hope you get pregnant. Oh, that's what happens. Abortion. Oh, baby girl. Nice to see you. What a baby girl, Jackalore. Look at those. Not really. I want one.

So, you got tattoos. You're going to help us. Hi, Joe Liss. Ah, yeah. I'm really getting into booty. But this is what an addict I am. I know everything there is about bush crafting. I've never been a day in my life.

Is that Ian Finan? No, that's not. That is the Jackalor bushcraft knife. That look like Joel is right there. I want that knife so bad. I've heard my feelings will. Please. That looks like Joel.

Looks like Andy Fiori or Dave Wait. Who knows Dave Wait? Anybody? I thought Andy Fiori was right on. Ah, thank you. All right, well this has been a fucking great show. Great episode. Do you feel better? No, I don't feel better. About the files? I thought Andy Fiori was right on thank you. All right. Well, this is what a fucking great show great episode Do you feel better? No, I feel I don't feel about the vios. You don't feel better

But the other thing I feel like we kind of if you know what Justin I do feel better about the vios I feel like I got attacked a little bit by way, I really know, but I thought they were right until I You know you right. I'm thinking I'm gonna wait it out Yeah, try for a couple days and then cancel if it stinks guys Why are you getting knives? What are you doing? Oh, that's a butch Bushcraft Robert you need to hide them around the house No, I'm bush crafting is when you go out in the woods you camp and you make stuff with knives That's some nice you say that's some white people shit

That's what I was talking about the knife the bushcraft knife. Do you ever go camping in max? We're going the camping is the best Tent just came, we're going Which we said that you get, I know that on the first time Camping I got a air tent Oh you got air, those are great Holy shit Yeah The tiger attacking a guy

Can you click on that? Can you not have fucking nine conversations Can you fucking focus? This is not my fault Joe Moshi, Moshi, Moshi, Mel is fucking Moshi, Moshi, Mel is fucking Moshi, Moshi, Mel is fucking Tiger attacks Yeah, you do what you do it. They have the fucking of a nap

Like a fucking a two-year-old your attention span is worse. You didn't even put a fucking noun in there I see what they have a of a nat attention span. Can I come can I even say that? I say I say you what they have up didn't wait but not mushy. Did I say attention span? No, he said they're like a net you said they have You didn't say attention span you did not I said it after I will after I said I Come camping no, why not can't come why do you want to come camping?

What's she's dance hotel ticket camp? You can't come if don't comes you can come you can't I can't just bring a hot blonde Why don't I go if don't goes wait? What what why she can't why can't you and her max go I need to work on trust It's not that I really Kapping why you back and Gabby can't go camping in the woods together first of all I Gabby does don't take this wrong nothing for me Okay, boom so then she's a camping she is like a Nothing for me. Okay, boom so then she's a camping. She is like a

Child to me like a daughter. So then her and Max and get along then she could watch Max cuz you hate watching kids I'll tell you what I want to do what I want to do is have a Camping a comic camping Fun where we all bring my wife hang on where we all go Bobby you can bring your kid if you want you don't if you don't want Oh, you'll go up camping. I found the site will has 11 okay, I want to say I can't put your finger down though. Okay. I have a tent. We have $10 a night. You get a tent You get a fire pit. We all get them together. I'll rent them. We all go up. We have a Maybe we go up on a Sunday a Monday

Tuesday we come back. Can I tell you something so fun? We have maybe we go up on a Sunday and Monday, Tuesday. We come back. Can I tell you something? So fun. We tried to set this up years ago. I'm so much. We like me, mother. We tried not me. Listen to me. We tried to set this up. Fucking big J was like, well, where are we going to watch TV? The Rosa was like, is there going to be a fucking Xbox? No one would write that. No one was a big J stop. Lou J in the Rosa horrendous. I was like, no, no, we're intense It was fucking stop. Lou J. And Deroza. horrendous. I was like, no, no, we're intense.

We're camping. I do. I love fucking camping. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no There is a there is a fucking tell you why let me here because last year me are a big J went out camping in Montreal We we went out you did yes without me Anyways, let's go Well, you take a shit when you go camping and the woods dude I'm out of the port apart under a tree. Are you serious? I'm not I have a a shovel that you dig

Ships about a shovel you dig your shit, and then you're better where are the shovel and why buy you Wobble push craft shovel you use a toilet paper you bring toilet paper What do you leave and where the paper go in the hole? Fucking numbs go in a planetary that's how the host does you motherfucker? All right, let's go wrapping this up. Joe. What do you got Netflix March 20th? It's out. It's coming out half-hour March 20th the stand-up season two check out my website comedian joeless.com You can get on my mailing list. You can check out my dates. I heard fucking

Tim Dilling killed No, no, this is the half-hour. Oh, Joe's before the bubble breaks. What's the bubble break? It's it's my mother's tits comedian joeless.com Can I just say quick quick that you can have mushy mic i think such a great guy great comic you can have him scrolling hd big screen photos of a tiger attacking guys face that's how i get ahead is right there i'm trying to listen to you as a tiger malling i look rolling by

that's a little that was a one of the dot nils of the project you bring up too much bush crafting bring up one life have it up i talk about it we move on go back to the problem of the thumbnails of the pictures. Yeah, but you're branch up too much push crafting. Bring up one knife, have it up. I talk about it, we move on. Go back to the side. We talk about, but yeah, but then there was a tiger. There was a million times. I think he's doing a great job, dude.

I think Mike is doing a great job too. But we're enhancing on that job. We're making the job better. Yes. He just gave him a critique. I think you're right. You can't have a fucking tiger mowing somebody with the minds of three girls.

The tiger was not mowing him them that tiger was fending him. Tuesday's with stories every Tuesday. It's free and our comedy showcase. What a club. You got to call Roger. You got to get in there. What's the name of Netflix special? Six to seven and a ber isn't that made.

Where's that mission? You get what's the comedy club doing a gig with you in a couple of weeks. I guess what's the name of Netflix special side splitters. Check out my website comedian joe list dot com I'm gonna pee I love you guys sorry I yelled I got I got frustrated I never seen Joe yell like that Joe that was the greatest thing ever okay go to my side please my dates this weekend I am at the mystically casino with two cute Mike Fini.

I'm horrible. And where is that scroll down? Where is that? What? What's the prior Lake Minnesota? Minnesota. They go, prior Lake Minnesota. And then I'm at the Carlson next week, March 9th at the in Rochester, at the Carlson.

I'm very excited about that. Wednesday nights I got the 13th. I'm at the pussy cat. When she might have been opening up the show. That show was great last time. It was great time. I love doing it. Yeah. I'll at the pussy pussy cat. Mochi Mike's been opening up the show that show is great last time It's great time right now. I'll have you back again then please And then comedy on state. I just booked one of my favorite clubs in the world the family's amazing the clubs amazing in Madison, Wisconsin, coming on state

Please do me a favor you see these dates retweet them when I stand it out Swipe up get your friends pack these places out tell everybody come down Let's have a good time. Let's do some stand up. Will what do you got go to robbakela live.com for all my other dates What else? Oh, yeah, you sold out uncle Vinnie's this last weekend. Yeah, it's a club. Yeah uncle Vinnie was sold out Gabby's parents done said you were amazing. They were crying your wife your your mom said said you were amazing they were crying your wife your your mom said you what her mom comes up she goes I love how Jersey fucking your parents are too yeah that's right I thought they were gonna be a little elitist they were the best no where real she walks up she goes I I googled you I watch you tonight show I thought he was like he's not that funny and then but tonight

she was I was like thank God because if she said that to me then I would have burnt your house down. Yeah. What do you got, Will? I am, I'm working on my film, I am Maurice. Go to gofundme.com slash I am Maurice. I am Maurice. I am Maurice. Okay. I'm a, you are I see also I'll be in Australia and of this month doing the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Also, I think I'm doing, I'm highlighting headlining at the Fat Black Pizzicat. I came on work date in March. And those are three things. Awesome. Thanks, Wilfah, for coming on. I love when you're on. You make me laugh. You're one of my favorite guests of all time.

It best will. Thank you, everybody. I love you. Just throw it out. I have another thing too, real quick, before we get to Justi. Just for laughs, I'm hosting the nasty show. So I'm gonna be up to doing a gala, I'm doing a YKWD up there.

So if any of you guys wind up going up, let's get that going. And- Just for laughs shows a great dude. I'm doing the nasty show's gonna be great. I'm gonna be doing it for two weeks. I might try to go camping again. So make sure you buy your tickets now.

Just for laughs to go to robaculley.com, get those tickets if you're in Montreal. Spend the word, go ahead. Justin. My website is I am Justin Silver. I got a podcast called Narada gets a sex and anxiety podcast. You can check it out anywhere. You listen to podcasts.

And that, would you say? I was on there. Oh, you were fucking, you know, let's get the highest down. Let's not really. Yeah, everybody loves it. You're very honest on it. Oh, thank you. You were great on that. Joe, this is got five minutes to fall haul out

You gotta go dude. I gotta go. I love you guys. I love you guys I love you guys. We love you enjoyed my time here very much and I love all of you. I hope your marriage works out Yeah, hopefully guys get back together. I do we're fine. I hope she becomes way more popular than you I hope she gets pregnant. I hope she doesn't get pregnant I hope she gets a hit TV show and has to tour. And she asks you to open for it for really low money. I'd be thrilled to do that. For like 500 bucks a show.

You'll be doing it for the first two shows. You'll be thrilled and you can jealous. You're going to slip in and you're ego-gong slipping. I hope you're agent and manager go and take her on. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I get about you. Love you. Thank you. See you later, girl.

Holy shit. I know. That's really shit, I know That's insane. I've never felt anything like touch that can you touch it? He's a little rock wow is it good? Yeah, that's nice Gabby just fucking blocked out Gabby gets blotch I got blotchy so my god makes me sick. I told you parents that I go you that's their fault You I know I go she's a blotchy little, she gets nervous, so I'll blotchy.

I get nervous for her. Maybe blotchy? Just cause I touch this tip. Yeah, you got a little right here. I can't bring you a little blotchy. Oh shit. Yeah, you get blotchy when you get nervous, so sexed up. Oh, you're freaking eyebrows.

Justin, thanks for coming on, dude. Wait, can I send all the dates? Oh yeah, go. On February, Friday, February, March 9th. I'm at McGuire's comic club with Jessica Kursin and then we are at the brokerage on the next night, the 10th. So come out to those shows. There will be a lot of what she's done.

She's so much fucking fun to work with too. So check those out and my social media is at at I Am Justin Silver. Awesome. Thank you, man. Gabby, what do you got? Gabby has a bunch of shows. Let me tell you something about this girl.

Talented editor. Yeah, that's my job. Film editor. Film editor, yeah. Oh really? Yeah. We shot some great stuff. I literally was like, this is the shot I want.

This is what I want and she was like, okay, I got it back. She nailed it. Shot it. Oh, and you do cinematography too. Yeah. Wow. Go ahead, what do you do? What day you got? If you're listening live, I have a cinematography too. Yeah, there's no. Wow. Go ahead. What do you do?

What day you got? If you're listening live, I have a show tomorrow night. My first produce show at the way station in Brooklyn. And then Friday, I'm also in Brooklyn at Vital joint. And next Wednesday, I'm at Broadway Comedy Club. So follow me on Instagram, Gabby is Brian. Can you stop person your lips on your fucking Instagram story? She does like the duck thing. Look at it. Yes, see? I'm literally like this. No,

you're not. You're piercing your top or lip. No, she's not. You're doing this Gabby. Swear to God. Look at. Yeah, this thing. Like, because right now you're not looking. You're not doing it now. You're not going to have a condom. We have condom makeup on them. Do it. Do it. I have a dysentery makeup on in that. Do it. Do it. Pursue lips. Where's that word? Look, look, look. Look. Dessentery makeup on in that though. Do it, pressure, where's that word? No. Look, look. Dysentery.

Do this. I'm smiling. No, it's this. It's in the other picture too, you go that. What is that? What is that? We'll click on that one. That's a clip of me from a sketch.

Let me see. Okay, I didn't want to bring this up, but in Lena Dunham's new memoir, Me, Come, I, she says that dairy is worse than vaccines which vaccines Check I gay yeah, okay. Oh wait, that's fine. Oh No The lips are gonna purse right now Oh Daddy Okay, oh Oh my god, I just but all over her

Oh my no, I need almond milk because I wouldn't please get me almond milk. Oh my god Here, thank you. It is just a part of a sketch. Is that what you bathed in almond milk? Oh, clean it up. I should. Gabby, why you do go up? So Gabby's a good editor. No, kiddie, you're great. There's a sweet scene to talk.

Um, because it's very free. All right, Michael. Very free sketch. What? What? I'm looking at the lip person. I feel like, yeah. Well, you go to a story. She has lip person, person, I love the, um, Mushi Mike. How you doing, buddy?

I'm doing all right. I'll, uh, I'll be at hyenas this weekend. Uh, in Dallas. I'll be there on the weekend of the 12th in the 4th worth. Hyenas also. I spelled hyenas wrong on my website. Okay. If you have left out Lads Antonio with Gina Breon, the end of April also. And these guys are doing the pre-show. The post show.

Got the post show, the YK-2. Yeah. How's that going? It's going great. We had a Claire Parker on today. She's hilarious. It's great. Yeah. So make sure it's how it's great. We had Claire Parker on today. She's hilarious.

It's great. Yeah. So make sure, tell them what it is. It's a wrap-up show, much like the Stern wrap-up show. It's only for our show. Yeah. And it comes out Thursdays at 10 a.m. And so if you want to know what's going on with the show,

what happened? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Kind of scenes. Tune in. And it's a great little addition to the YKWD show. Thank you for supporting my sponsors. Thank you for supporting the show. A lot of YKWD fans out there. I hope you guys love the show. If you don't, please move on and jump off a bridge. And if you do, please make sure you go up to these guys everybody on the show, even myself and say,

I heard you on the fucking podcast, dude. Make sure other thing we have to promote. Go see Black Panther. No, that's not, you don't have to do that because it's already sold enough tickets. Make sure you follow us on Instagram, subscribe to us on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe to the channel.

Thumbs up it, all you fucks leave in thumbs down You just douchebags. I can't stay because I know you don't even hate me that much. You're just being cuts And make sure you follow us on Twitter spread the word. What else Michael? That's really about it. Tag Robert on Instagram Instagram at Robert Kelly live If you took a picture with Miss Weekend, tag him in it, put it up online. And if you see it. Yeah, if you were at the Uncle Vinnie's this week

and make sure you tag him and me and Fini are coming this weekend to the Mystic theater, right? Yep, and Minnesota. And Minnesota, so make sure you tag us in those, all the photos we're taking after the show. I hang out after every fucking show I'm there shaking hands kissing babies taking photos risking the flu Yeah, fucking flu. I wash my hands like a fucking doctor though

So I don't think that I shake hands and then did you get it this year? No, I didn't get it either And I think it's because I've been washing my get carrying the hand sanitizer and shit. No, I got it The subways where you get it. What? The subways where you get it more than anything. I don't fuck with the subway. I'm better than that. Listen, and make sure this is what I wanted to,

a history hyena is right now. Right cast new show, Janus Popus, Chris De Stefano, history hyena is, it's out. It was top 100 today. It is a fucking hilarious podcast with two of the funniest comics out there. And they're the the Bay Ridge boys tonight live. If you listen in live, we're going to be in Bay Ridge doing a live episode. So please check out the Bay Ridge boys. Check out

their Patreon page. Check out history. Hyene as they do a half hour on riot cast for free. The second half is on their Patreon page. And you can become a member and join the community you guys the best we'll see you next week on you know what Listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs shitty jobs Gracias por escuchar. Ahora te voy a ir a tu trabajo. Tienes tu trabajo. Tienes tu trabajo.

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