Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Yankee Swap 2015: Lex Lutor

Episode Date: December 21, 2015

This week on YKWD We have Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez, Wil Sylvince, and "Kelly Fastuca". It's the annual Yankee Swap episode! Gifts and words are exchanged. Find out who got what! Plus, a hilarious round of "F*ck, Marry, Kill". Watch/Listen and enjoy! Happy Holidays!   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, dude? En la network riotcast.com.

¡Verdad a la más grande podcast de la plana de Berth! ¿Es que es una costa de fuego? ¡Adiós! ¡No hay ningún problema! ¿Qué es la mi gas? to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-effective podcast. It's no rules. Talking to the mic asshole, I'm sure I've already sent should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, that's a fuck.

That was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's tantalopics, no directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin That's how in a host, does you love the part?

I want to do anything my podcast is popular enough I might affect somebody's life You never know It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast Unwritescast.com I'm not a bad guy, I'm not a bad guy I'm not a bad guy, I'm not a bad guy I'm not a bad guy, I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait.

I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. I'm not going to wait. Just a watch, show it.

You know when you boners losing blood and that balance is a little bit that's what your hat reminds me of. There's another Christmas, another year has gone by and we just had a nice heated argument white on black, black on white man against corporation I say it with my brother one then about white Kate YKWD Oh god, check with it, check on YKWD. They always start on time hang on yeah hang on my My Mike isn't working you got all the sound good going right now, so well, okay, so anyways we

We are live here on time on time at the studio Robert Kelly dance soda will silvence Lewis Gomez is late It's like like like ykwd yk Late we're on time is it three o'clock? We started a three. You were late. I was on time. I was at two. No, you weren't.

No, for the Christmas episode, Christmas episode, everybody shows up 15 minutes early, right? No one told me that. Half hour early, just so I can really feel the spirit. Yeah, you have to put your gift in. Yeah, you got your costume on, you get your gift ready. All right, putting up another lamp either. But more lamps will. My head's so big that this hat you gift ready. All right, putting up another lamp either. But more lamps will.

My head's so big that this hat you gave me. A lamp on? More like a menorah. Turn the lamp on. Not a menorah, what's your name? You guys know how lecturesy? Turn the lamp on. Yomaka.

Lauren is in here, that's why the lamp. That's how you know, a real non-ju. Why? I just called a menorah. I just called a Yomaka menorah a Yamaka man or are you not Jewish? Do I look Jewish? The nose does. Oh, thank you. Whoa, there's never Jewish person. No, damn I want to be a Jew. Keep it coming. You look like a Christmas wooden puppet nose. I can't give you any of your presents. I look like one of the toys that

comes to life. Why am I lips going numb from this beard? Probably because you have a beard made in China for $2. God, if you got poisoning, this will be... I did a cup of my lips off, I look like a burn victim. This just in from Beijing, a recall of Santa Beats. I said to have been made with toxic chemicals. That'll inflame your face. Bobby's like... I mean, that almost sounds like you're mocking me, Will. Yeah, it's like, yeah, exactly.

I mean, that's like, you can't talk. Yeah, we're all doing that, but we're laughing regular. Are you fucking cackling woman? Thank you, Dan. That's when you laugh, Will. You inspired it. It's not like the guy in the back of the comedy room that really doesn't like it Anyways, we have dance orders in the house. Hi, what's up, buddy? Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Motherfucking Christmas

We got will so Vince. No, what's up? Will didn't want to wear the Rain there hat. Yeah, it's a good good point why is it a good point? they don't make a argument what's your question? you know the white man around like we did 400 years and shit his name ain't donner his name ain't donner what's your name? what's your name?

what's your name? what's your name? what's your name? what's your real name? will donner or blitzin? will there it is

there's no reindeer named will yeah exactly because he's a man you got all those other fictional Transcendence of all those gay names. Oh Try to get in oh Trixie working. There's no twerking. Oh, this is the that's the black Santa Claus Twerks in on twerking on Tapping a shaniqua

Shon, nine-man racial why is it really creative with creative names? You pull real names out. Yeah, and then I did, because I'm a follower. This year aren't going against the gays. I think Don Blitzon's a fine name. Hi, my name is Blitzon. Why you guys? Hi, I'm Blitzon.

That's my life partner, Donner. I think you're some flying, seasonal flying. I think Dan looks better as a snowman. Thank you. Why, bro? You were supposed to be, first of all, I had you a sand hat. Why? You were supposed to be the white guy and the,

you were supposed to be the white guy and getting told around by them. Yeah. You were supposed to be the guy. You know, I mean, my helper. I'm mostly a flip floppers, so I'm going to agree with this. No. Seriously? No.

I just help out it's Christmas you You ain't doing Cuban What I like it I don't want to replace our fan that's here. Well, and your name is Dan. No, it's Matt Matt Matt is a fan of the show. He's He's you got you got presents you're here as a guest now I know why he got me we can go to my guests up. Oh, I hope it's a gun. We invite guests Oh, yeah, we're gonna invite guests up here now and if you want to come to the studio

He's just emailed the scopo at YKWD producer was whyKW producer at. At. Right cast on. That helps at the end. What's studio? What's studio? Shut up while I'm fucking doing a promo. You said come up to the studio. What's studio? You want to go over here?

Didn't mat, right? His name is Robert Paulson. His name was Robert Paulson. All right, you sit right over there and give that hat to my son. I got to have him. I got him. All right, you sit right over there. And give that hat to my son. I got it. Oh, you got him, all right. They're a low rider on the roof. We got him.

I hear a Latino Santa coming down the street. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. I got him. Yeah, that's the way better one.

Damn, I was, you know, taking a West Coast Mexican. Sorry. We got Lewis J. Gomez just stepped in. It's about to be a real ass holiday Why that's why you're not on television That's why you don't have anything will will's response was so honest he just goes, I mean it's Christmas He's can't help himself I can't believe you you just came from being with your son at Santa Claus. Yeah, it was unbelievable

Did he like Santa? He cried dude. It was it was almost I got choked up. Why did he cry? Oh? Why you ain't bring on to my We're five seconds into the show. He's already said the end word in the F work. Yeah, I'm trying to pay homage to will Why you bring your son to Kelly, so Kelly's like, where is that? Oh, you deserve the bomb, Dana. Where? Well, we have another guest. You're gonna have to move again Frank.

Frank? His name is Robert Paulson. Robert Paulson. His name is you. His Robert Paulson's not actually Matt. Matt. Matt. By the way, I love his name at the likability Olympics.

He's a Skanks fan. Oh, it's Matt. Yeah. Matt, we're gonna put you I love the guy's name at the likability Olympics. He's a skanks for it. Oh, it's man. Yeah Matt, we're gonna put you over on the couch real quick. You guys Kelly Fistuka Is here right now This is the most I've ever wanted to fuck Kelly. Hi Kelly Kelly This is the most I've ever wanted to fuck Kelly Hi Kelly We're having to

Hey Kelly how you doing? I'm fading mate, she's just some light and sorry I'm making my pee hole feel weird How are you Kelly? Good how are you Bobby? This is how someone dies I could take this voice way better than Kelly's Kelly, so you're supposed to go back today you want to change your flight. Yeah change my flight for you Bobby

Anything to you now I mean he's nailing the character The character Oh Shit Kelly, did you and Lewis make up yet have you guys made up? I don't know. Are we good Lewis? I think where I call Lewis, are you freak out? You know Like Lewis I've never seen him this scared of anything

I like to fuck this in it's like when a dog gets freaked out by an answer It's just like a mean rock-iler and he's just looking at me. He's like, oh, no, Lewis, oh, no, Lewis, it's okay. You thought it was your phone? You like an ass port. That's your ringer, that's one of your ringers. You just come out to call my ass port the weekend? You, no, I was gonna call my ass port a body.

How gross is it, right? Why, why do you get a ratio? It's a little bit more excited than it's high. It's brutally high in here. It's high. We got the Body. How gross is it, right? Why, why do you get to be rich? You're excited and then it's hot. It's brutally hot in here. We got the AC on, but is it on high? Is it on cool? You sure? You can check, because sometimes you're wrong.

You're not. Bobby's got a... You see how I'm changing with Scopo? Bobby's got a beard made from China, so his face is about to break. Yeah, my lip started getting numb and swelling, so I had to take it off. Scopo rubbed it on his asshole for a day and a half

My face oh yee bobby huh. I'm so stupid. I get you coffee You can just he can just leave it in his butt It wasn't on cool. It wasn't I wasn't it wasn't low It was not I turned it on max you put a Disception among your elves I only have one else. I Know I am not an air in your country Well, that's actually that's actually evening wear in his country

Yeah, he's what I see with a flaggy sheep He's actually gonna go with it and say usually he's wearing a bills super bowl champion With the Hague you you're. With the HGG. You giving me the HGG chief? No, I was moving from HGG. I don't believe you can't just yell HGG. Nobody laughed. Yeah, well people thought of all laughing.

Then fucking took a second, you beat him out of it. And Kelly, Kelly, don't eat that. Don't eat that. That's a prop. She's just eating everything. Kelly. Kelly, a new dog. Kelly, why did you head down? Be proud of yourself. Sit up. That's a prop. She's just eating everything Kelly Kelly a new dog Kelly why

Yeah, why is your head down? Yeah, be proud of yourself sit up having a fat week Fat him you having a week I'm having a fake case. Yeah, I love you. Oh Looks like Lou. You're already adding too much to the podcast. You just need to make squeaks and noises and that's that's more Nailie. Oh, and then yeah, there you go. And then you got to try to drum up drama where there is none. Yeah, you should laugh more of my stuff, by the way. We're getting there. Well, Kelly how many guys have you blown this week? Five now that's already wrong. Shoot it. Shoot it. I got it. I don't know. I just died a bunch of cranskeys. Oops.

There it is. It's closer. We're almost there. What's on the left when he gets SNL before you next year? From this character. Sad part is probably gonna happen. He's gotta open for me first. That's how you can feed me in the levels of SNL. Today, well first of all, everybody's got a set of Tweet.io headphones. Yeah. courtesy of Tweet.io.

Yeah. Tweet.io.com. Thank you, Tweet.io. Greatest cool cheap headphones right there. This is what I called bag headphones, inexpensive. Keep them in your bag, and then when you're like, I need a phone, you got them. So enjoy those.

Thank you, Kelly. Those are my, Kelly, don't eat the headphones. Kelly, Kelly. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. You guys were about to attack.

What? You don't know what to do. We're probably going to lose it. Here's what I know. I can't hit that. I know it's not really a problem. Oh God, Kelly's gonna turn into Lewis's punching pillow. When you say hit that, you mean like sex, oh, fucking will. I'm in that bedroom.

I'm gonna kitty fuck. D in the B. Hit my bad titty. Oh, the do have a lot of titty. I will say that that is pretty good that she had lob titty titty's. That's pretty accurate. Yeah, Kelly. Who's seen Kelly's titties? Raise your hands. Dan I felt them over the shirt. No, you didn't. You're seeing them. I didn't see them. I didn't see them.

Are you lying, Dan? We're adults. Who cares? Yes. What do they look like? Dan, you just lied. I was pretty good. Yeah, well, I did. Because I I'm an adult that's what adults do they lie nothing caught and then they say about titty scene because it's Kelly Say we stop making phrases up titty scene. Why would you lie about that? I don't know why why why we next week? We say it is a real like an animal what Kelly we saw who saw her titty's all right And I was explaining myself before you started Jesse Jackson.

I fuck with my shirt on anyway. It doesn't matter. You wouldn't have seen my titties if you fuck me. What, can you stop being funnier than Kelly? Um, did you make Will that just because it matches the skin color? No. This is a whole big thing.

Matches your skin color more. That was for, can I say, you were supposed to have the reindeer. Will was supposed to have the Santa hat. And he was supposed to have that the snowman, but I don't know But he is such a frigging corporate little coward bullshit. I'm a civil right activist will actually said why do I gotta be? He said Why do you gotta go? What are you doing?

African? You have I'll wish you wish you wish you get out of town. Yes, hey, should that's a fucking step above Haiti. No, it's not Everybody hates Africans. I know even black people hate Africans just God does whoa Wow, what podcast do podcast you aiming for what is your career to jack i'm trying to become Anthony coo me as coo hoose yeah Lewis takes a real backyard wrestle your approach every pocket you know it would make this better

barbed wire So we uh so then I he gave the calm down calm down relax he gave I'm relaxed he he gave the snowman to him and Dan had the rain there and you had that and I had to fight Dan to the nail to stand up for what he believes in no what I believe the snowman because Dan is a snowman if anybody in this room was a snowman why because he knows I'm not he comes you're gonna be the snowman because dan is a snowman if anybody in this room was a snowman why i think i'm not he comes here you need cat skills because he knows when the heat comes don't for try don't forget to try the clams sorry that bombed yeah that well that's the first time Dan's ever held the bomb in a no what that's the video. There is no video tape. Well, I'm done backing you. I'm back to being a proud Aryan warrior.

Yeah, we had that snowman with pride. Yeah. What? So then I told him I go use the snowman, the Santa hat and he goes, no, and he used that. That was supposed to be your hat, Lewis. You want it, you want it? I want it to be the rainman. I don't want to trade.

You want to trade? Let's all trade it around. No, you're that. You know what you're doing then? You're just real. No, this is what you're doing. You're just trying to spite me. That's all you're trying to do. If you don't think I'm picking up on that, are you trying to bully me and wearing this? That's it. Exactly. Bullying me. That's your new word. That's your new word. Why you? Why are you? Why are you? Why are you bullied Robert? Why are you bullying me out of my show? I'm not bullying you at it. Yeah, you're bullying out of what I want on my show

Bro, why you bullying me? Why you hurting me man? Why do you want to know that will? No, but will doesn't matter Yes, he does. Our friendship is what's on the line. Hey, well matters No, no, what are you doing? Yeah, cuz I'm trying to be cool, Will you know what? I'm on your side. I'm ruining your podcast I'm gonna leave and there's Dan Soda in a nutshell. Fwippy floppy. Oh, John Kerry Soder. Oh. Oh.

Look at one box of Christmas supplies. Wash up a sure on Haiti and we'll find them. Oh, this is a very nice hat. Kimbo slice Christmas. Yeah. I'll let me get it. Kimbo slice. He's a black dude with a beard. I don't get, look. That's the best slice. He's a black dude with a beard. That's the face they paint on his fish shack.

Put the hat on top. Oh, we don't know they're doing Christmas. They actually prepping up with some Christmas hats. I would. I would. Today. Today is our famous once a year Yankee swap, which is usually done with Lewis Joe, Kelly Fistuka and Dan Soda. But I guess the only loyal people are here today. Clap it up for loyalty. Clap it up for loyalty. Speaking of loyalty, Joe list with his fiancee and Hawaii. That's very loyal. Very loyal. I do that. But no one else gets you. I hope she leaves him for Hawaiian guy. He's a big Samoan. I'm trying to, I don't know how to do a simullen. I just want to do it.

I just want to do it. I did. His mind went fast. And he realized before the words when he came out that he couldn't do a simullen. It was the same face a quarter back mix when he throws a pick that he knew he should have thrown. He's like, why did I let that go? He put his hands up.

See, even he's punching it up. That's how bad it was. Yeah Kelly yes Kelly I have the same feeling that little kids do you know when people dress up Like scare you at Halloween on their front porch and little kids can always sense it. That's how I feel about Kelly right now Oh my god, you got to laugh at Bobby's jokes. He's saying, I wish I were the top three status guys on the room. That's what you'll laugh at.

So she's never going to laugh at yours. Not you, him. Oh. He's going to see him. What? He knows to Lewis. That's pretty good. I was looking at I heard it and I felt the douche chills of Kelly saying that.

Well, today is our Yankee swap It's um tradition. We all get gifts Joe actually this started it. He started it. Yeah, we we couldn't be here though He's supporting tonight. Well his girl has her first television appearance Sarah Adam the Vines house party. How many central? We're gonna go on it. Can we bail on the other stupid horse shit that he made us do the past two years in a row? What was that the fucking plantacid? Rose a thorn and a fuck that what do you mean Rose a thorn and we're just doing gifts dog. Yeah, we're not doing Rose a thorn

Rose a thorn. I got this guy. What is it? This is church. This is Christmas without church buddy I got this guy. What is that? What is it? This is church? This is Christmas without church, buddy Next year What was your role this year? No, I like what we're doing that. No, I don't want to go to church. We do murder fuck kill Okay, okay, was it Santa Claus Jesus and Mrs. Claus done okay, I'm Hey, who is it? Santa Claus, Jesus and Mrs. Claus. Done. Okay. I'm fucking the blame man. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Santa Claus, I got Roman blood in me.

I got Roman blood in me. Lewis, what do you got first? I'm gonna murder Jesus. Got to. Cause I want to shut the Jews that they don't have the, any powers that I don't have. He's keeping it real. Okay, then who are you gonna fuck?

I'm gonna fuck Mrs. Claus, obviously. Cause why? That's sweet plus. Are you marrying the fat man for all those kids? I got all those gifts that you got direct access so fuck Mrs. Claus in front of him What do you do? What do you get where he got one more? Three dumb dumb I had the other one Jesus Jesus Mrs. Claus he's gonna bang your Haiti. They do a different version of it. It's fucking Mary killed Bill the life rat for

Only one person left. It's actually just murder. Take. It's murder, it's murder of a vault steel. That's murder of a vault. Oh, slow, are you laughing at that shit? Fight off eight. It's funny.

Kelly. Kelly, you like it? Yeah, it's funny. This is getting better. Yeah I'm telling you the Lowery takes it. What is it? You love it? Do you love Christmas? I love you Bobby.

She's really gone. She's gone now. She's right here. Back in May. I'm doing the road. Okay. You did it now or the other night right? She's doing theory road.

Yeah. You did it now or? It's good. It's good. It's now. She's right here. She's going to go in May. I'm doing the road. Okay. You did an hour the other night, right? She's doing fury road. Yeah. You did an hour? That was good. I like the air. You did an hour in a story.

How did it go? I invited my fucking friend Jason to come and watch me and sit through the whole fucking thing. You sound mad that you had to do that. Sorry, I think I'm projecting. Um. You know, it was... I got, yeah, it needs some work. How many?

I was, I need some work, Bob, you need some work. Kelly, what percentage of the time were people laughing at the jokes? Um, hard math here. Yeah. Okay, um, so maybe like, Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, 20%, maybe. You're telling me right now that you're making the Hall of Fame. That's 250

Good that's an MLB contract You're gonna have five player that's an every day that isn't every day for me. I mean 20% of time was 20% of what's a ten. Yeah, yeah, you're telling me there's a full eight minutes of people laughing No, not laughing The most typical principle even always Kelly power of material I'll see you minute 20% of that Kelly stick up for yourself 12 minutes. Yeah, no, it's fucking you guys. Fuck you I love you Bobby fuck you guys. That's all right back on track. You love to do that right no. I left in okay Big Dan You love Dan too, that right? No, I love Dan. Okay. I'll suck you big Dan. Yeah, no

Again, no, yep, nope, yeah Buddy she said it on the show. We're here We dry home. Yeah, I said honey I called Dan honey because I love honey If you Bobby as poo Don't Hey, yeah, Michael Hey, yeah, Michael This name That Paulson Sit over there, Matt. This works actually. Yeah, sit over there, Matt. This thing is hurting my leg. Yeah, good job

You should on that off to you. Yeah, dude. Come on. No, I'm keeping it off for the whole show You're doing it. I can't wait to see you and murder fuck kill Santa Jesus. Miss a clause done first off. I'm killing Santa because there's a new fat man in town. I said it. I'm a cut his throat right in front of the old Dan Soder And he works half a day late afternoons the 23rd and he gives out gift cards Who am I fucking Jesus? I like good dude. Yeah, that hot bod. Are you kidding me? I'm gonna do the thing with ice in my mouth

where I go over his abs. And it melts into a little pool and it's savior belly button. You know, on his bum where the butt knuckle happens, that little crease between the leg and the butt, he probably has those little blonde hairs from being in the sun all the time. And I'm gonna kiss him.

I'm gonna kiss his little peach fuzz hair. Oh God, yeah. And then I'm gonna blow the sun of the Lord, all up in my mouth. Wow, and then And then I'm marrying Mrs. Claus because I'm the new Santa Claus So that's fat dumpy bitch better get on my I can't wait to then cause me to you to be you got a block out the whole thing And this is what's better be able to throw it down cuz you guys Jesus in your mind. Oh my god

I've just been with a hot body like jace Jesus of Nazareth. I'm in a middle Eastern dudes It's got woolly hair like a lam's wool kind of like that. I'm gonna lay in bed and play with this hair after we're done I'm gonna be like what's your dad like you gonna make him some pita. Yeah, I'm gonna be like you want some hummus I Will who would you? Is it was it marina? Murdered I Was

Happened to you I can't remember with the mother for a cell. It's a marry fuck kill. Yeah, I marry you said mother fuck killer. Well, I was looking at you and maybe want to kill twice Hey guys, it's Chris ahead. I'm sorry. Has the new Santa Claus? I don't like that you're doing that murder fuck. I think metaphor. I will kill Jesus Come back again I like will's mythbusters Wow Yeah, I'm not fucking Marin what what he does interview thank you she does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he does it he Joe The garage versus the attic It was it was it was not it was a observation you don't like Marin that was the other love Mary Okay, I love sorry. I interrupted continued love marriage. It's just an individual just not as podcast

It's an individual show. I think it's a great podcast. I think it's a great guy It's an interview show soda you double maker as cool. Yep Jesus fuck a man. I will fuck Santa That long why are we gonna fuck say fucking all the black kids out of toys? I'm tired. Oh time out will there's no Santa that's black parents Pretty good Pretty true Gomez you you Spanish you worse than us Race wars race Ways will black against Puerto Rican also known as a white man's dream. Yes, seriously

Yeah, you're Puerto Rican and our Mabie misses claws cause white people hate when black black guys fuck they Door this that's why then they love their children because they got that cool Caramel color to yeah, but we love we mean I we love when you fuck our old women Yeah, that's like that cuckolding yeah, we look at it's cuckled I'm talking about Senate Mrs. Claus when she was 18 you can't do that because that's not Mrs. Claw and travel Yeah, yeah, that was just a girl her name was Rebecca She went to Doryory she went to darkness Everyone knows they met at a friend's house. He was a lesbian until her sophomore year of college

Just trying to yeah, and then she met Chris who's a nice guy. He gained some weight. Yes group here. They moved up north Yeah, she was in she was a nurse's assistant met Chris at a hospital. I'm fucking Fell off her assistant, huh? I'm fucking watching his assistant. Man, having hurt, which is- Well, we're trying to have a real conversation right now. You're just doing it. You're really fucking out. You know what I feel?

You know what I feel? You know what I feel? You know what I said at the beginning of the show. Oh, hell, you can just listen. Okay. All right, Scopo, you already did yours, right? No, you beat me to death, man. No.

I'm not a bastard. I love you as me and Discovery Boat. I love you. Do you like it when I mean to stuff up? I love it. I, I think I wings Lunch lady arms I just imagine I just imagine Kelly loading a clip like a 32 Mike Here is A collection of cough Come in there smoke everybody so hey so Chris. what would you do? I'm killing Jesus. Yeah, why is everyone killing my slits?

Let's see. Yeah, we'll have to get one Jesus why I Don't like them. You don't like Jesus My god that is such a Answer are you Jewish why do you know like I don't like them race Catholic? Yeah, but that's Jesus Oh, yeah, you don't like you brother. You can't celebrate Christmas. That's Jesus It's Jesus We're killing Jesus. Oh, first of all Santa Claus not even involved with Jesus scope. Oh, so I stopped Santa Claus around We're all killing Jesus for the right. Who's taking this more seriously?

Y'all, I was taking seriously. This guy, more of the essay. He is a dumb dumb. Yeah. It's also a while to get the words out. I love him. I love the point that Wil doesn't know what an essay is. You don't know what you don't.

You think essay is a friend? The essay. Boo. Boo. Boo. You mean the same thing, Janna. How you gonna laugh and give me a bad word? I ain't laughing at you. I boo you. They were laughing. They laughed. Oh I Live and go man's laugh. All right, I'll give you here's it was the worst joke ever

My color it didn't make me laugh You didn't laugh for the way reason I will tell you He's doing popsicle stick jumps That hot list good on you, dude. Laughing's laughs. Alright, here we go. Alright, so, what do you got now, who? I'm going to marry Mrs. Claus. No, I'm going to fuck Mrs. Claus.

Oh, marrying Santa Claus. Why you marrying Santa Claus? You got some gifts? Alright, what's the free gift? I guess it's kind of progressive. I don't know, it's not progressive at all. He works one day a year, he's gonna be home with me all the time. I tried to go home with him.

Maybe I'm a little lonely, yeah. I tell you right now, scumbozans is an uninteresting. I mean, you heard it here first, scumbozans. I'm just proud he got that word out. The deal is it, oh, this is turning into a well-race scumbo. I like that. I like it. I love the most. Let's go to Ted on the couch Ted I got a question rubber Paulson am I getting old Santa Claus or are getting soda Santa Claus?

Again, good point. He wants to know if you are soda Santa. You're getting old Santa Because if he's a different with Santa to become Santa, I'll marry him because I'm getting Santa Claus Winnie the Pooh macho man. Yeah I'll marry him because then I'm getting Santa Claus, we need the poo, macho man. Yeah. Changer field. Goose on and the beat goes on. What did you do?

Have you been naughty? Have you been nice? Yeah, I'm checking my list. Oh, I'm checking it twice. Yeah. Gonna find hell. Yeah. That would be nice.

Yeah, Mrs. Elizabeth is Mrs. Claus. Yeah. All right. I'm telling you, you're getting mull gifts. You know, I would tell you, I woke up This is Mrs. Claude. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you, you're getting no gifts. Yeah. You know, I woke up on Christmas morning and went downstairs. My family was gone. Wait.

You sound like Riley Dangerfield. Yes, that's who I'm doing, Will. God, given it. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that.

I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that. I was doing that two of the voices that I do. Oh God. You're I want to go home now I can't well you'll the one be friended this dumb dumb at the beginning. You know what are your friends with him again? We're all friends. Oh, you're a neutral fucking Kelly Yeah, Bobby The Bobby down Bobby, oh god, who would you?

I had the Bobby down Bobby Bobby Bobby. Oh God. Who would you Wait, let's go to Deepu first. Oh, he didn't even finish though. Oh you didn't finish go ahead. Well, so yeah, so I'll marry Soder Yes, Santa Claus. Okay, I'll uh, but he's not Santa Claus. He's so does Santa Claus? Yeah He killed him in his scenario, so I'm just gonna pick up from his oh cuz you became state. Yeah, wow That was really intelligent. Wow. Hey, do you do podcasts? do podcasts do you which could you call people and set up show no I'm kidding can you turn the light on consistently scope us about to get Tommy from good fellas so yeah so I would marry Santa I would fuck Jesus because he's he does like miracles and yes probably do something good for me. While you digs in or out, you turn out water in the wine won't fuck that.

You could probably make me finish without going in. Oh, true. I didn't even see it. And then, it's not a big deal. It's a new magic trick. How many of you does go now? Yeah. Go ahead.

And then I would kill Mrs. Scott. You kill her. Yeah. Really? Why would you kill her? You could fuck any old woman. One woman with a vagina in the groove. She doesn't do anything special. But that doesn't mean she makes cookies.

She does make cookies. Yeah. And she goes, oh, Chris. I've seen the movie. That's what she always says. All right, OK, what do you got? Dupu. I want to kill Vishnu.

I would have. But I'm not being... I would be head Jesus. I then when they return for another life, I would kill them again. This game would never run because there's like a hundred to do that. I would yell Akbarara and then I would kill all three. You're messing up the regions and you're finally defensive.

I would kill Santa. Why? For never coming to my house and giving me finally defensive. I would kill Santa. Why? For never coming to my house and you give me a gift. Well, you're the wrong religion. Yeah, dude. I'll tell you how you're parents. I thought all little boys and girls, if they're nice, get gifts. Oh, white.

So white lie. Listen, you don't get gifts because you don't believe it. That's pretty good. Yeah, you're going to want to call and that'll probably be good in your house. Yeah, why don't you get a tree, put some stuff up, get a stocking. We get a tree. We get the traffic gives you a gift.. We get a tree. We put some cababs out for Santa. Do you really get a tree? Yeah. I'm coming to your house. I just added nothing the way she would. We're getting real close. We might have a full go-killy

at the end of this podcast episode. Just put it out in the world We could just literally get a jar of mayonnaise and sit in the chair Kelly would eat it with a bull horn I'm a man's watering What I eat for breakfast I don't know I Joe The mayor I look to the mayor break It's a keleo A male cleanse

I went to the mayor clinic they didn't Oh, that's what that fuck what happened we just don't know what happened Don't fucking her mic Oh, that's what's that what happened? We just I know that don't I can remind you that's because we're fucking talking about fucking killing Jesus We still good. Yeah, yeah, we're good. All right good listen. Here's a deal I got that made me had a piss God did it was funny. Okay. What else you got depot? I would Married Jesus your marriage. Yeah, get in on that frankincense. I always wanted some of that. Okay, that bombed.

But I'm out. Yeah. You could have just pretended that wasn't a joke. Didn't even know that. Yeah, excuse me, one second. One second. Can you take a photo of that? Because I want to remember that moment

when my fucking died flash. Why did I think you go last, by the way? You've been going to the interter. You're not Kelly's going last. Yeah, even I thought that was bad. You went in completely reverse order here. I'm Kelly's going last. I thought that was bad you went in completely reverse order here I'm going Kelly's going last that's that exact my point you want to reverse order you know you know you know you're know with the funny it's podcast is this yeah yeah just just to answer the

question all right and then I'll indian boy like the drummer boy oh yeah see what we know I just say it wasn't a joke. For me, bar, ram, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam I drink my sloppy hip-hop, I score when I poop its eastern culture I beat my wife for driving Bum bum bum bum bum She works in my store If you break you bye Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum I Am my friend no reading in here Hey my friend is in that library All right, so what I forgot what I had left all right. What was you guys come on? We got to get into the gifts I would fuck Mrs. Claus and then this is why are you stuttering? Fuck Mrs. Claus because I'm an ass man.

Oh, all right. OK. You think you got a dumper? Yeah, yeah. I know. Oh, she's got a dumper, yeah. Yeah, I'm talking about Mrs. Claus and that fat ass. Fucking big plump ass from cookie eating.

What is wrong with you? I thought this was a razor blade the whole time. Yeah. What is it? It's an iPad stand. I wish I had catch up packets. Can I see something though? He sliced you the way you would, you should slice.

Just like a nice little fuck right across your face. Yeah, it's the way that fuck. Greyhounds just naturally run. Natural distinctions, yeah. Yeah, call it the buck 50. Yeah, they call that a natural instinction. Yeah, well they call it the Puerto Rican Twitch. That's pretty good.

I was pretty good. I was pretty good. I would say this of Joe, let's set it with a bunch of blinking blinking eyes you guys would be all over it. But it would have said like this It's a fucking near the call that a Puerto Rican twitch Puerto Rican. There you go. It's a polar American drench. Oh Hey, thanks Bobby What the fuck? Kelly does a great job back from my honeymoon guys I love Sarah I love Sarah on the beach

I can do you Do me do me no, which I go just do me my regular voice do me my regular voice That's good monster voice. That's good. Can you do me? Can you do me? You do me fuck you. Hey fuck you. All right. I mean you're for Brooklyn All right, can you can you do can you do Joe again? Oh sure Bobby sure. Yeah, it's just a quick one Where he goes? Well, but well so that's right. Can you do well so that we can all do you do with you? I mean it's just Everyone's impression of will No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 1930s Disney races He did it the best Dan's in the best fuck off

Alright, let's go to the camera What else you got? You're done, right? Yeah, I finished Kelly, how'd you go? Kelly, who do you got? Alright Bobby, sorry Alright, so I would I would fuck my butcher

No, no, no, Kelly Yeah, Kelly Yeah, it's Santa, Kelly. Yeah. It's Santa, Jesus or Mrs. Claus. Okay. I would fuck Santa. No, yeah. Okay, why?

Because then he could bring me more gifts. And he probably likes a fuller lady. Yeah. Right. I would marry Jesus why because you know I would fuck Jesus. Um... Why? Cause he's hot. And... I... I would kill...

I don't know how to kill. I've never killed in my life. I don't know. Ahhhhh. That's good. I let's get the gins. Let's get the numbers first. Get the numbers.

Give me a basket of stuff. Get the gins. Get the numbers. first Hold on wait a minute bro. What is it the lower number you get the better is you want one right? Yeah, okay Bobby looks so omniscient this guy off right. Yeah, I didn't get Bobby get one last year. Yeah Yeah, thanks. Oh, it's a show. I'm gonna fold these up better. But we got a break right now. Why man nights? Why are we gonna break you know you're the Mike Kelly fill the air? Because he's not All right, anyway guys at this moment go subscribe to real-ass podcast on Right

All right, here we go ready here we go. I go first. Okay ready here. We go. Oh, I see how it is You invite your guests and you open your gift first Cool, bro. He's picking a number first. You know what? I just want to apologize Okay, ready. I'm picking a number and it can I read it number? There's gonna be one he's a fat cheater. Whoa That's not what you want. You wrote the book on cheating. I got number two. Oh you want. You wrote the book on cheating. I got number two. Oh, great number. And deep. Okay. Thanks. We've never had a cross-miss. Deepwood's got a piece of paper with ISIS. I got number two. What do you got? I pledge my allegiance. I got

seven. Here you go. Pick a number. That's the worst number. Pick it out. You got one. Pick it. Take it. No, no, no, no, you don't need it. No, you don't need it. You read it. Sorry. I've eaten anything for at least nine minutes Five is way funny Number just tell you the ratings on this episode of this podcast through the roof Okay, what do you got will hold on hold on hold on? Damn it shit seven six. Wow

Okay, we got a Dan pick one with you little Finn fingers Stick it stick your finger through the One Bobby get your fucking hand There's not enough in here. What's seven? There's only three of us left this three left. There's two there's two people left right two three four five six seven eight you fucking Got son again We're now do you understand what I'm talking deal with do we understand what I deal with? Do we understand what I deal with? You got some, Louis. Can you please talk me down from the ledge right now?

Do Bobby calls me twice a week to talk about it? You want to slow put a die? No. Is that even like he wants to fire me? Just want him to die. Put the back in. Put the number back in. No, it's my favorite topic.

No, Bobby, stop looking at the numbers. No, put it back in. Yes, there he is. Yes, there he is. Yeah, I got some. I'll put the back in. I the number back in I put it back in We'll put it back in try to eat it again So close to getting one I'll let you go first no Yeah, don't let him go first through the same way you do Out of back and this time

I mean numbers are there Oh, double the victim again. He's the victim of the Ian he can't just It must be it must be your fault Bobby. I'm gonna be a real I'm not a big again, Bob. He only counted the people in the room at the beginning always possible Bobby You always was in here the beginning The buck stop Bobby what does it say? If this is I had to you fucking you stupid You fat fat I hate you I hope you get hit by a bus and a plane

Why What Why or I thought there was his retarded one Go ahead I got four four someone just buzzed. What did someone just buzz? I heard that too. I'll get it I got six all right. What do you got Kelly? No, okay, go ahead will will All right, eight eight. Hey, what do you got? I got seven something? That was God that was God making sure he got one that's what it was Thanks Thanks, go ahead. What do you get what do you get what do you get?

Thanks, Papa. Thanks. Thanks, Papa. Where do you get what do you get what do you get? two two I was my Anyway, why do I hope you fucking You get you get you get you get you get changed the most. I'm gonna get one here it is guys here it is and Yay, it's a real-ass Christmas. It's a real Christmas. Yeah, we go just give him the last one I got five that means I have eight No, no, I said he will I eat okay, you got three okay

So who goes first? Yep, that would be so Lewis go first one was goes first one Lewis you go first now get the gifts a one through eight Make sure they're all lined up Put them all on the table one through eight one through eight you know why he's getting the gift so I'm gonna take a moment and plug up we shut the bonfire serious accent

Bob can I give you my gift Bob, how do you know the gifts of labor one to eight? somebody talked to him what is this? he gave everybody he gave oh wow you gave me an epic Monti Cristo that is a fucking that's one of my favorites of ours no joke I swear to God maybe oh my god you told you low calorie can I eat it put that over here over here over here all right who are first of all thank you

man that is great yeah no problem Bobby can I say something he can I say something my gift is over there it's right here can I say something that's mine no where's my gift oh I got my treasure behind you now I want to say that I'm notorious for bringing the best gift every year all the way I get ready take take out the bag you know Bobby can I say something no you can't take it out the bag. Can't see. No, no, you can't see why this. My rapper gives you a hint of what's inside. No, no, no, don't say that. Why? You don't want a hint.

You got to take what you get. No, put it in. Put it in. Put it in. No, no, no. Don't cover the cameras though. Don't cover the cameras. You hold that. You hold that one. No, you got to hold it on your lap people gonna be able to see it So I have a question. It doesn't really matter what I pick right now, right? Not for you because you got one. I would have to

Get the pick my gift whatever you want it doesn't matter Just pick a fan. Where would you words your stand? I want yours. This one. Okay, that stands gift Okay, the thoughtful guy who's number two? Are you going to open it first? I open it open it open it open it open The thoughtful guy who's number two A mini jam box draw bone so this is a bluetooth speaker. Yeah, that's that's No, it's not you got them on discounts. Yeah, those things right now like 1990 It's exactly what they are. Yeah, Christ You ever hear a fucking it's it's called the tech talk with Bobby and friends coming back real Deepwood is actually doing tech

He actually this real tech this is one point zero zero dash It's a little and if you're writing an HTML, you should probably switch them. Now to do a subcategory on Reddit, what do you need to do? The amount of data transferred for a high definition stream. Number two. I'm gonna go, I like unwrapping gifts, so I'm gonna unwrap this. That's okay. Okay, keep that flat while you open it.

Keep it up. That's fine. Oh, wait, was it a bomb? Oh, god, let me get down. Let me get down. I wrapped that in a bank. Why are you saying it's safe without scissors? You said keep it flat.

Let's say, keep it flat, man. What is it? Keep it flat. Stop flipping it over, dude. Oh, gross. What is it? Big box. What is it?

It says big box. Taco Bell? Taco Bell. I'm going to be a box. You've got a big box Taco Bell? I'm gonna be box you've got somebody food Taco Bell why is that a bad thing? Oh Just an old box of Taco Bell no, it's new wow I'll fucking take you At the end you get to swap hey look who? You can flip it over at the end. At the end, you get to swap. Hey, look who's got his box!

A whole heavy wet box of time. What did I do wrong, boy? I think I did. What the fuck? I'm gonna shitty get it. I have it. I don't like the fact that D-Poo does, like, he gives things like normal things that countries, third world countries need.

It's a bottle of water, clean water. You don't like soap, do you want hair look, it's a box of flowers. Is our bowl of vaccine? Grains, yesin. It's like the ant and Christmas vacation, but they'll wrap up the cat. Yeah, it's deep who's given fucking UN gifts. It's a ticket to a man of God this right here is a work visa Who's who's got three I have three okay? Come at talk Frankie get over here pick one his name I guess which one the blue one right there the blue one of that snow let it snow That is mine Chris go bow. Let's see how clear so

Open it didn't someone bring a golf you I did last show It was it no was a Chinese fighting fish and it killed another fish. Yeah What is it the dead fish body? What is that that is uberloob when you jerk off? In the market right now, is it really yeah, can you hold that up to the camera Matt uberloob? Oh, I think I like that up to the camera Matt? Oh, but Lou, boy. I think I like that I like the I like the single guys there. He's not saying 20 of those greatest

$10 I have a my helmet's real shy me from jerking off without stuff a lot of guys a single here now I think I rubbed the gold single I just imagine I just I just I'm doing like a 3 a.m. Commercial for that fucking Lou. Hi, I'm Chris Scopo. You want to jerk off and have me. I use sickly. I'm fucking calluses on you dick. Hey, I'm Chris. I jerk it a lot. You probably do too. We're both up at 3.30. Sometimes I don't have

enough spit to keep it going. I smoked to my weed. This Scopo is sketching on nowhere. As the Haitian Michael just just just tear this in here Hold it over by a wishbone. I'll say This through the next hold on for you I'm gonna shift who's your the next No, no, so you decide you decide most of change it on what do you want? They'll Well, if I change it who do I change it well? You don't want to open you You can do the taco bell?

You want the speaker? I don't want the taco. You get the loop. Is that loop closed? Yes, sealed. For me right now it's either Taco Bell loop. I've been jerking a drive recently and I don't like it. I have a flush like quickshot.

This is a quickshot. They told me they don't have the other. No ends you just shoot out the fucking end They told me this Lou does not dry out. Who's number four? Okay. I am number four now. I would like to know where you go Jason Kelly Kelly Kelly you fuck I'm no he's not here. I was talking to this camera guy's name is Hey Jason. No, that's not Jason. I'm sorry. What's your name? John Ashler. John Ashler. By the way, take your photos today of this whole Escapade So where can we get these photos? What's your website?

You know, unbelievable photographer. You do headshot. You do portraits. You do art Game for pay. New porn You are Gapelpah DuPorn. That's live events. Gapelpah website is Dijon Asher.com and Twitter and Instagram is at Dijon Asher. We're going to have all these photos up on our Facebook. I'm going to have them on my Facebook. So if you want to photos and headsets on, go to his website. He's amazing.

And some extra photos of me possibly using my Christmas gift. Well, you don't have that yet. I wish your gift, Kelly. Is it meant to be anonymous? No, no, no. You can tell, right? You can tell what gift yet. I wish a gift, Kelly. Is it meant to be anonymous? No, no, no. You can tell what gift, right? The pink one, now. This one?

The pink one, who's gift is this? I'm a girl. This is the pink one. So what about that? This one you want? Who's this one? This one you want. That's yours.

Who's this one? That one's mine. That one sounds good. You can't shake it. You can't shake it. That's your Bobby. I know this is pastry I don't think it's a pastry

You know what cooking chocolate was used in this that's not baking chocolate was used in this idea I can see you is not a patient is not a big definitely not a patient. It's it's some type of food close your eyes You need it. This is food scooby do it. No food. No Bobby I'm gonna take Ted's gift Matt Matt Matt Matt. My name's wrong with all you call him six of your name. I know it's bombing, but I'm gonna keep you okay I'm taking this oh Do you think Goes great with that Lou guys guys, please let me keep this

Who is it Bobby we put ours together we get Can I generic brand I know but can I have it? No, but I'm ready with somebody if you want That's like fucking chocolate rice crispy. I was told like we spend more than $30. Who's number five? There's like 50 bucks. I want to keep. Who's number five? All right, let me open up the Taco Bell Box for a sec. Box for a box.

How many? Seven Lea Burritos. How many? Five, seven. There's like five pocket pussies right there. You could actually fuck one of these and eat the other four. And you want to eat the woo.

It actually be both here to eat the pocket pussies. I'm not fucking the Taco Bell. I'll pack the taco now. You won't need to move to the taco, though. I'm keeping the pussy. I'm keeping the pussy. You can't. That's not the rules, Bob. That's not the rules. Real quick. You guys got that pass.

You got to do this now. You can do it later. OK, go. OK. OK, band up. Let's go. I got five. Go, go, go.

Louie, just get that one. That's my new friend. I like this. All right. Put that one on the table. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do later. Okay, okay What loses get that's my different like this I put that one on the table There's a table scope who gives in here put the other one on the table wheels on the table Whatever I'm willing to do it. He's a chocolate chip cookies

In my neighborhood is a horrible lot people know how to make the best pastries And oh box of Ruggola and Way to go cookies and Realize true shirt what size what size is it extra large but Bob I do I want a 2x I can I get a real last Sure, I'll bring the I want I'll give you two x now Lewis I don't even have a sketch. I'm sorry. It's a excel. Yeah. Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Into the microphone was still on the show

I think there's two dozen cookies in a box. We could be here. We could be here for days Take the vagina the best wagula in New York. Take the vagina. I should take the vagina from him So you could be mad shit. I'm gonna say with this is good stuff You'll keep that out. That is a good one. That's a great one. So I can't I you. I'm gonna stay with this. You're gonna keep that out. That is a good one. That's a great one. So I can't, I'm my switching's up. Who's number six?

Yeah, you're done man. Who's number six? I don't know. Number six. I'm number seven. This big. Oh, shit, I am six. That's mama fucker.

What are you gonna do? Kind of zoned out there. Which one? We should have three left, right? We have, okay, right here. Mine. no one pick mine mine the pink one Kellys Will we got wills the big box okay, I like I like wills taste and things okay, so let's go with that Oh, so you like homemade lamps fucking A Haitian death mask

She's a half a tire Look at the rap, I took time to put the rap to get you read all the articles What do you want to do? What's the hint? And there's something to do with football It's football, it's for season season season season No, the fight that's a fun, this is a hit It's a season season, he's done How?

Scopus eating his gift No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo That's a ninja I can eat food fast. Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. Well, do you want to trade this box of tacos? Yeah, do you want You want the real ass food shirt and cookies? I want to burn that real ass do you sure? Ha ha he hate Puerto Ricans Hey, it's a shitty video quality Hey It's a shitty video quality Deepest trying to get a job is what you say I'll stick with the ninja for now. All right So we got two we got all right

Charlie number seven. Oh, will you what's left these two? Who's who's this my I'm the red one and Kelly's the pink one I'll trust Kelly. Oh You're gonna love mine. I'm gonna get my own gifts great. Oh, you can trade it. You can trade it Look at that What are those enjoy your music headphone music? Bluetooth headphones. Oh, what the go around your neck? 20 bucks my UPS guy Fell off a truck That's a truck yeah, you swap whatever you want you can have the pussy the cookie's a shirt. I want the pussy

It's gonna need a gallon of loop to loop that dick. I need that lube with this pussy We're gonna have to go through the half nut jar in one sitting Yeah, this wouldn't fit his We're screaming Kelly goes all right, where do you go Kelly? Open your gift, but you can trade it. I can trade it all right Anything you want I'd get that food process. I think I think all right here. We go. What's your what is it? clever dick jokes I'm so glad I picked this shit again I got picked a taco bell jump I bought it using all the money money I made doing comedy this year granted that $4 Skopo could probably use some clever jokes. All right, so you want to trade. I want the fucking cookies

Skopo Skopo this might be the best thing your career is ever had How you gonna have a five minute set you'll be able to compete in no time Yeah, stop. Scopo, this might be the best thing your career has ever had. Now you can have a five minute set. You'll be able to compete with him, no, no. I'll be able to take you on the road with me now. Yeah. I won't tell anybody there from that book. So now comes back to the real last dude.

Oh, look. We got to make Scopo do some performance in Joe Biden. Yeah, open it up. Open it up. Wait, once the final trade, how come this is final trade? Well, you know you're not getting that. No, that's not true. You have enough of that.

Skullbow is taking that book. Okay, what are you gonna do? So, I mean, obviously it's either gonna be the food processor, the speaker, or the Bluetooth headphones. Yeah, yeah. You don't want the junk out. I mean, juice?

Personally, dude, and this is just me just talking as a friend. Yeah. I mean, you love the food processor. Thank you, my buddy. How much of the real-ass style that I have? Hold on, Bobby, I'm having a conversation with my friend. Think about it real quick. Again, Bobby, I'm just going to notice that to real-est diet. How much easier is that going to make the real-est diet? Or what about

some tunes, bro? You're throwing some punches at the shadows, but you got some pantera in the background. Get him to do the raid. That's true. Yeah, but those headphones are nice. Hold on real quick, Bobby, I'm not done talking to my friend. Sorry. Processor. What process is my problem with the food processor? Okay, living in a dark, windowless room right now. And, hey, so, and who better to talk to about that?

I've got one plug, so I feel like I can have to unplug my TV in order to enjoy the process. And what would be better than Bluetooth speakers that you don't have to plug in? Speakers are good. How about headphones? Just going to go out to the mouth. I could just literally, in the gym, I could put these on to my cell phone. They go around your neck and I'm going to be honest with you.

There's an expensive version of those $100, okay? That's not the expensive version, but those work just as good. The Bluetooth on your neck and they cook up to your phone. But the good part about those headphones is those little balls, there's a magnet, so you just put them inside of that thing again, so they don't dangle. So you pull them out, put them in your head, and that thing goes around your neck, and you're going to get full. Just look these up online while he was talking.

It's not going to wrap it. Garbage, it's garbage. Can I see something? Can I see those? No, not not really cuz you've all opened our gifts Yeah, but can I just show them something? Oh, no, dude, I can't I'm gonna do that Let's see if she's To swap

I got a small Oh Yeah Yeah I got a small Thank you for giving me that taco, I would have took the fucking food processor. I have a food processor. Thank. Do they really? You know what they're better than this box of cat me. I'll have it leave it Definitely better than the fucking box

It's definitely better than the fucking box I got it DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN!

DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN!

DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! DEN! Who got the food processor? We got people got the food processor. He got the ninja.

He got the ninja. That's the food processor. And what do you get? Food processor? Yeah, Bluetooth speaker. Wow, you got a good gift. Hey, hey. Did you get this out of a green?

You wrote Clever Dick Joe. What's in it? What's in it? There's nothing in it. Guys, no. No, we want you to write some Clever Dick Joe. Get the fucking material That's worse than the tacos. That's actually his real book. It's still better than his joke book

We just did the same joke but yours was better than mine. All right. Here we go Kelly give me a cookie Duple making some shakes so those go so those go put those right in the little hole at the end Like that and then they go in the hole right? Yeah, Pato's off put them in there I know I want it. I'm right alright and then there you go From my UPS guy brought those If not put those in the thing Are they working right now?

I'll help you hook them up after you know what I actually read online is and now put those in the thing. Are they working right now? No. Can you hear me? I'll help you hook them up after. You know what I actually wrote online is that they're like in that to brain cancer. So, guess I'm getting out on top of these tacos. Yeah, those don't have cancer in them. Dude, that's a real, real beef. Yeah, that's meat they killed a year and a half.

You have to put them tacos in a fan. That's raccoon, they scooped off a 9-5. 9-5. 9-5. All right, off a 9.5 9.5 9.5 All right, let's go to the chat room real quick And then we're gonna wrap this up because Dan's got to take off We got a few people that got to go today, but this is very special. What time we at what is this? We did run a minute 10 English and how long There's it been in it the whole broadcast has been one minute an hour ten. What time minute ten an hour ten? Oh, I want to throw a good But it's oh yeah, do you cuz he bought a box of fucking D grade beef

Yankee's wall no beef is all vegetarian Really get vegetarian toggle bell. Yeah, so angry right So angry right now Finish my bottles like a third of deep. Oh Put some real stank on it for me Me you think me oh I'm One second Good throat didn't have a dad Oh Lewis has no dad

He was in his life At least I don't have a memory my dad you have to have all those painful memories True will dad's on an island Will's Thank you. She thank you. She I don't know where he's she. He got it. Thank God. Listen. Get this fat ass of the thank you She let's stop throwing some violent you friggin ass. I call you how you doing pretty good? How's the cookies? They're fucking good. Oh my god. They really are the best cookies. I

They put a pound of butter in each cookie. It's unbelievable a pound of butter in each cookie It's unreal. They can't put a pound of butter in each cookie. I was used made that up. I was thinking sarcastic exaggerating Don't pass the box sarcasm. That's exaggeration. Don't pass the Bob. No, I said sarcastic Alright, what do we got in the chat room? Deep who everybody has a has a cookie? The knife song says, if it all ends in a scope of thrashing, it's a Christmas miracle. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha would you will what he said Lewis now that was the guy named Lewis I wrote that actually you're dumb dumb you go ahead Tyrone Frazier says will looks like one of the lost boys hanky sheep to that dude please yeah don't we have a bomb dinner

that we give the crowd yeah we have a chat bomb we have a chat bomb in a chat Dana chat Dana so somebody dies all right I'll give that to him and then the last one right now is William Roy Dingo says, Kelly 2.0 is much improved. Thanks, baby. I love you. Try that rugle. What's up?

Look at this. Ruggle up by a brother. Look at it. Is it really by the brother? Yeah. By the brother. Hold it up to the camera right here. Ruggle up by a brother.

Who's that guy? That's Lee Lee. That's Lee Lee, dude. Hey, by look like me. That's black. Not everybody. True, well. No, sir. Why I got to be that's Lee Lee, dude. Hey, by look like me. That's black Not everybody true. Well, no sir. I gotta be that way. Oh, well why'd you shout out? I don't know Maybe will bring up good points. I got those headphones shaking the system. No, you don't air do you know what? I'm fine because I live with what I got a box full of fucking vegetarian

I got vegetarian because will is vegetarian. He's like vegans I got vegetarian because will is vegetarian he's like vegans Do you think anybody was gonna eat? Did you legitimately think people were gonna get pumped for that game? Everyone is wrong honestly. I am. I really am. You thought someone was gonna be like Wow That's really mad Happy You when he bucks you blew a taco bell on their subpar vegetable tacos Listen to me on their subpar vegetable tacos. Listen, this never been mad on this.

He's so angry. He's mad. You want the ninja? I'll trade back. No. You trade for that. Take the ninja. Take the ninja.

Take it. Do it. I'm Irish. Take the ninja. I'm Irish. So why is it on this? Take the ninja. Take the ninja. Take the ninja. He's got a blend all of his vegetables

Make a make a top Everyone in this room is either stoned or hungry all the time. So let's you know I'm true. Shut up with the real excuses. How good are those regular? How good are those? I'm on a diet. I haven't had I haven't had carbs and since I'm a great snorkeler What is it? I'm sure you're the same time by the way. What's that?

They have the things giving I really want to know No, no way. It's like Jewish pastry. It's like a type of cookie. It's Italian. A Ruggla is Italian. There's Jewish. It's oh god First of all pastries are Italian. Oh no believe me I know he makes a face you said no you say they make pastries the Italians make the best pastries my my my best the best Ruggla Hmm, how is it Kelly? Does your mother make a Ruggla like the best Ruggla in the world? Not a Ruggla you fucking Twitt Ruggla is twatt I was trying to say Kelly up for a joke Okay, they know Twitt is twuggola. It's Twatt. I was trying to say Kelly up for a joke. Ain't no Twitt, it's Twatt.

It never works. His beard is... What? What? That Ruggola's so good, I'm not as mad. The boss looks like Darian Dr. Dome. I blame still. Yeah, you should eat when the Taco Bell's right now. Okay, hold on, huh?

Ruggola is traditional Jewish food that is eaten at any time of year. That's what I said. Clothing but not limited to Shabbat. That's what I said, Shabbat is a taboo. No, Wuggler is traditional Jewish food that is eaten anytime a year. That's what I said, including with not limited to Shabbat. That's what I said, Shabbat is Italian. No, no. Bobbi is here. Bobbi.

You said it to tell you. I don't like that you. Bobbi. I hate Google. Bobbi. Fuckin' 10 years ago, I would have gotten away with that for at least a bobber. Nine months.

Bobbi. And then you would have bumped into it. You would have said what I said to some Jewish person. No, that's a fool. Robert, stop. Stop fucking, you know what I heard you. He was doing that for like 10 minutes. I'm in the middle.

By the way, let's step in front of what he's gonna say. He's gonna try to recommend that I eat one of the tons. Like it's a morning, you're on the air. On the air. Lie down the air. Why would you. You should get on the air. Why would you eat one? If you take a bite, if you eat one, I'll take a bite. Let's take a bite.

Let's all take a bite. We all take a bite. You should get first. You go first, man. Can I just have a hall one? LAUGHTER Gally, two point O's my favorite. She's the best.

LAUGHTER I'm going to be honest. Kelly's point O and Marisa are better than Kelly and Yannis Better people all right, you're about to eat the taco. All right, you want sauce You're gonna put sauce to burrito. Are you putting sauce? It's evident layer burrito no sauce? It's got beans in it. Yeah, you're a fuck Samuars Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we're gonna switch it up. You're gonna switch it up. No, one more, one more. Wait, one more. Wait, one more. Get some hot sauce on the shirt.

Yeah, there you go. That's a good one. Jump it on then. That's medium sauce. There you go. Okay, here we go. Will. Okay, here we go.

We're gonna get a nice angled shot of you eating. Wait one second. Wait. Why do you guys have a fucking sliding movie set camera for a movie? We don't fuck around. You're going to get into tracking shots. We do. We do., wait. Why do you guys have a fucking sliding movie set camera for a while?

We don't fuck around. You guys are tracking shots. And we do a tracking shot. It's called the Pan of the Business, by the way. Oh, or it's called a tracking shot. Duplo. Oh. Dance on the second.

All the time, Billion. Oh. Oh, did we 17 so far? I'm not on to the second episode Here we go here we go. Here we go. Dan looking to the camera up there now. Oh my god It's me if you came in those tacos you are funny Was it is it good? Why did you get them yesterday, right like an hour before I got here? Why you put in that face even taking a taste?

Will taste buds work up here. You put that face before you taste it. You taste it. All right. You put that taste before you taste it. You taste it. It's a cam on me. Yeah it camera on me. Yeah, it's on yo will she get a job with Taco Bell? I'm not gonna lie with the hot sauce. It's not terrible. There you go Did you put a hot sauce on dog shit? It would be all right? Taco Bell is not terrible. Duplo made this himself. Hey Duplo did make this Duplo. Duplo. I just want to let you guys know Dupal did back this. Dupal, Dupal. I just want to let you guys know. The talk about it, he actually got him at his in the Greenwich Village right here. This is actual video from last week on someone actually took this at night, late at night.

They saw in here. Look, they just saw him right now. The rats? Is that the rats? Yeah, there's rats in. Oh. Yum. Yeah, they show. Look at the now the rats at the rats. Yeah, there's rats in Yeah, they show Look at the big videos like seven years old it really is last week

Fuck every But by the way, I don't care deep. Thanks for the spirit of Christmas By the way, you fucking suck You really do suck I brought coffee last you know what I like that either. You know what I was going to get Bob? It was they pulled out. I had two girls that were willing to do a lap dance for 20 bucks. 10 bucks each. And they put that last minute. I told them they were going to be on camera. Really? We could have put them off camera. We could have put hats on them. You know, not they're like a burless chicks. Wow. Are they part of the week?

Probably fat. Alright, so check it out. Let's do this. Who has the most burleshticks? The number one gift this year. Who's the number one gift? Easily the speakers. No, those real ass dudes shirt in the fucking room. No, my headphones. Number one. Pick my gift. No, I can pick my own gift. No, it's got to be the pocket pussy come on. No, it's not the pocket guys. It's clearly clear Everyone just said their own gift Who pickers who brought the pocket pussy? I did why is it? I had the guy really. You know get a syphilis from it.

That's what I'm trying to ask. This is the guy at the store to wrap a pocket pussy for you. Well it comes with this on the... Oh! That's the same room. They give it for raises. They come with the electric raises. I can't wait to fuck this.

Let's see. Let's see. You want to see it? Yeah. Bob, I have literally... I have literally... I have like 10 fleshlites. I can give you this hell you want to see it. Yeah, I have literally perfect. I have much bigger I have like 10 flesh lights. I can give you one if you want. Yeah, I want one from your apartment That's what I want. I don't like the flesh side because you get a clean and you're just not the quick shot What's the quick shot? It's open at the ends. You just shoot out of it. Do you just I want one of those?

I'll get you a quick shot. I want a flashlight to sponsor this show with quick shot. They will do it like that really will they yeah, okay I got a bunch of I got the best gift this year. Well, what was it the ninja? Ninja was a good gift. Well thought he was buying a real ninja. What gift would you want it scope? Oh, thank you Will I want to I want it for the okay. What gift would you want it Matt? I got the speaker this is that the I would have taken you boom What gift would you have wanted if you will you could have you got the I chose the gift I want okay Well, give would you have wanted I would have wanted those bad ass speakers Yours to your gift yeah that thing over there you bought yeah

By yourself a speaker yeah, by some speaker I'm just show it's not the game bro What about you? Well the ninja you would have took You took your gift to do pick up. Yeah, you hiccuped. No, I'm sorry talks now Always burping yeah, talk like I drank too many beers at a jet Yeah, I want to do pool songs tackles I don't want to give me anything. I just want them not to talk anymore What do you got what's your favorite gift? Burritos Kelly is enjoying it look at her Kelly. You like it. Hello, I love old food

I love it. It's delicious Deeper bottom of you I kind of like the the pocket pussy. I've never wanted to I've always wanted to do that you want to trade For my first pocket pussy. I don't know if I want to trade the ninja processor But then you get this is a good one too. No, we all just said that's not a good No, no, no, this is going to first one. You don't want to get into a process. This is easier That's easier It's a white pussy to you can pretend to clean out of your wallet and clean the bulltab

But you get to be with a white girl without disappointing your parents All right, so you get you got gifts for people too right yeah I do okay let's hand out the gifts we're gonna wrap things up real quick proper Paulson real quick while he's doing that what do we got what do we got Lewis the weather outside is So the like Is my podcast It's a football podcast Let's check this out yeah on the clock So he wants more famous people to go and promote a show for his gift I like it. See, he got my stuff on my podcast

Where's that triple quad triple X? Oh, well, thanks. I'm quad true. I love one of the sand and things one of my podcast. Where's that triple quad triple X? Oh, wow, thanks. Thanks, man. One of the sand things, one of my nose. I need a large mat. He shrinks. People here are smaller than you. Don't listen.

That's an XL, that's all he told me to bring. So I said, two. Did he say two X out? No, he said two extra large shirts. No, I said two X out. Well, I just, then I have extra shirts. You sure you go, Bobby needs a double X. That's the way you say it. If you go. No, he said two XL. Well, I just, then I have extra shirts. You should go, Bobby needs a double X. That's the way he's saying.

If you go two XL, bring two XL. That means he's gonna bring two XL. If you go Bobby has a double X, he needs a double X. Yes, thank you. Bobby, double X. So this doesn't fit. It's not going to fit. I'll take an extra large though.

What is that? This is large. I'm gonna give him a smaller one. Yeah. Okay. That's X large. I'm a smaller one. Yeah. Yeah, that's Excel. I'll wear this up. I'm going to get me a shirt. How to medium for Lauren. Yeah, leave it for us. Show, show, get it. She's here. Give me a shit. I just get beheaded. Give it to Will. Give it to Will. We'll get Lauren a shirt. Yeah. I got one.

Nice. Let me get medium. We're Lauren to get medium. Yeah, we're going today. Where's Scopo? Where's the next one? Come here. I can see you two his. Matt, big fat tits. She's got no tits, dude. Did you give Kelly one? Kelly with size. What size?

The biggest one possible. No, size you want. Kelly. Medium. Medium. I get a lot. I get a lot. I get a lot.

I get a lot. I get a lot. I get a lot. I get a lot. I get a lot. I get a lot. I get good run. Alright. And I have one XL left if you want to leave it. Yeah, leave it for what's your name. And here, here, you bring me a double X. A nice quality shirt. Yeah, it's a great call. Leave it here.

We'll hang it up. We'll promote you. Alright, cool. Alright, what do we got? We got Kelly for Stuka. What do you got coming up? Well, apparently I'm going to Perth and Melbourne and Adelaide and I'm doing shows all around Australia and coming back to New York

Hey, you know your friend Jason Chaffield. He's a kind What does Jason have coming up? Oh? He's got a pretty cool website called Jason Chaffield comedy.com if you want to find out or you can just go to his other website Jason Chaffield.com. He's a gun. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna fucking kill him. All right great. Well, what do you got? I'll be I'll be in town all week doing the comedy seller And check out my check out my new website why you do this calm Why you why you why you why you say like this? I S press a like this com

W H Y the neck you this W-H-Y Will the werewolf? Will the werewolf? Will the werewolf? Will the werewolf? W-H-Y Will the werewolf? Will the werewolf? W-H-Y U-D-O-D-I-S

Why you do this? Why you do this? Why you do this? Why did you do that to us? You got the hankers here? They all laughed. When they laughed, you know how to get your cheats. Killing laugh? Killing laugh know Tell me that fake Kelly and laugh

It's not fake it's Kelly to point out all right. What else we got we got Dan soda. What do you got buddy? Hi, I'm Dan Soder At Dan Soder on Twitter the bonfire on serious XM radio Monday's a Wednesday 6 a.m. Eastern I heard it's killing and thank you to you. You're gonna skanks his fan base, yes. Yes, it is. It's depleting Lewis's income. My plan is working perfectly. Also, you understand how big Lee's just skanks were,

were on the, there was gonna be huge. Right on the cusp. Right on the cusp would be huge. You came in and took out, like how it instant McMahon, I came in and took their champs. It's like Larry Bird went to the Cleveland. Dan would come on as a came in and took out like how didn't sent McMahon I came in and took their champs like Larry bird went to the Cleveland Dan would come on as a regular guest said it was like magic every time Dan was on it was this magical

uh experience yeah fuck you you had no idea you said you could it serious satellite radio came in took the fad off threw it on the ground left it with a creek in the cave, and put Dan and Big J. But also, I'll be on Legion of Skanks in January, I believe. And the show Billions on Showtime premieres January 17th. I'm not in the first episode, but I'm on that show, so watch it on show. What's that show about money? It's about money, and where it goes, and who gets regulated for it. Paul Giamani, Damien Lewis, Showtime.

And then, yeah, I'll be back on the road. Are you wearing suspenders on the show? No, I wear a nice button down. Oh, okay. Is it a period piece? No, it's crude. Okay. It's called contemporary.

Contemporary? Sorry. Try a shot. What do you got, Lou, Doug? What up, dogs? What's up? Make sure you guys go check out Legion of Skanks. Check out the Real Ass Podcast, me and Scopo are on that show every Friday at noon.

Also every Thursday 6th to 8pm to countdown with myself and Michael Bisping. Gonna be back in town this week reviewing UFC 194 crazy knockout. What a fucking great guy! I'm a dragon! The real champion, toimining precision always beat speed and power Who's gonna do and oh he did it? Yeah, and now I'm gonna go Kelly is shit out of a woman What a fucking crazy guy, you know what he does every time you every time he fights he spends all his money So these hungry again hungry again every time hungry god damn it. Hey. He's no one could stand this left hand

Yeah, he's not gonna spend all this money. He's hungry. God damn it. No one could stand this left hand. Yeah, he's not going to spend all this money. He had to make around 14 million. He had to make a lot of money. He made a lot of money. He's making a pay for those fights. It depends on who it is. He's got sponsors.

He big. Yeah, but he's got sponsors. But he also, the contract, the bonuses, the pay per views. He's not that, that was the biggest gate MGM ever had. And he's also, I mean, he's about, he's on the cuss with becoming the biggest star. He has the biggest stuff. He has everything that they need.

He can talk the talk. He has a crazy style. The style, the guy who comes in and kick boxes like that, is that that athletic and explosive, that's everything. It's like they have all the star quality power of a GSP, but he just knocks motherfuckers out too. Yeah, but this movement thing he's doing now, which is like weird, but I love it.

So it's top, where you take the long Instagram. He like shows all the shitty does. Yeah, is like weird, but I love it. I love that Shows all the shitty does And the mic we get a here. Hey, there's still a show I'm talking about that. That's there's an animal. What about what about fucking rock? Oh That sexy son of a bitch both of them are gorgeous. Yeah, wide men does have a tiny jolless mouth though I feel bad. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for Wideman though. This is the thing.

This is my theory. Anytime you see the embedded and one of the guys, one of his kids, comes rolling in on a mat, he's going to lose. Yeah, you said that a while ago about Brad Mere. Anytime you see the guy, practice in and then the kid, comes in, done. And then you see the other guy out in a parking lot flipping a tire Nine other men you like this fucking just old came coaches throwing a wrench You're good dog the other guys wrestling is two-year-old

Tell you Rocky three man Rocky three was made because You're a paper champion. Hey lady. Hey woman. Hey woman. You wonder what feeling like for a real man? What? What does it sounds like you? Louis, you're a real man. Hey, you're talking to your own leg. Louis, you're a real man. Hey Jay, you want a real cause? You want a real cause? Let's come down to my podcast. Also, I'm a real cause? You want a real cause? Let's come down to my podcast. I'll send you out to our host. Speaking of bad, how bad was that fucking Superman vs. Batman?

Trailer? You really wanted to get that in. You wanted to get that in the whole thing. Wait a minute, wait a minute, is this trailer? Oh, were they showing Doomsday? Were they showing everything? And then, freaking Lex Luthor the West West Lex Luthor Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. He said that again. Next Luthor was

Sorry, stop stop stop. One more time because my headphones have fucked up. I think Good, what was it? Next Luthor was and now let me stop well right there. My limit is no so he's right. He is the worst Lex Luthor. That's also the first. Lex Luthor. I won't show every day. So we don't have to worry about what name we have for ourselves. He's given us not by the way. Yeah, I said the correct.

No, you didn't. Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor. that much more is bugger to side of the track yeah let's look at the sound that don't sound right oh but yeah it's crazy because that's actually what it is like a lot of war sounds right to you I'm not saying that yes you are get your fucking finger out of my face oh Oh

Ah, okay, that's all I'm telling you. We have a five impression limit on each show shut him down Bobby did you see the new Deadpool thing they had out? Yes, well, phase of Deadpool. No, I didn't as good. Yeah, look really. Oh, just like a little promo. They were cutting I it's coming out days until it's released Yeah, how many more days? 12 days. So excited. What's up? What's up right now? What do you want? That pool? That was Batman, Captain America or

Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool, America, Deadpool, Suicide Squad. Suicide Squad. Hey, go ready? Deadpool, Suicide Squad. Then it goes Captain America And then and then no Deadpool's first death Second civil was third

That man what over over fucking civil war I said I said it's third dummy civil war is over Batman. Yeah, no Batman over Batman You know why cuz I know already they already they fucking showed us who the villain was and nobody know who the villain was So I got a she would do I thought she was a true. Yeah, they showed us They should just want to woman. They didn't it is show us who the villain was so I got a she would do I thought she was a true. Yeah, they showed us They should have won the woman they didn't it is show us fucking the villain. They didn't need to show dooms day They don't need to show one What what what what what they showed Zod now we know Zod became doomsday we knew that that's what Aquaman the secret is that good for you Aquaman these still war is one of the greatest Marvel story arcs ever

They change it so much they have they did a lot of the best characters Abraham Lincoln Generally, thank you chief. Thank you. She's she's did you ever get a second? Take a home with your comedy take a home with you. I I'm telling you right now. I'm telling you right now civil war is gonna be great Tony Stark against Captain America my friend Chris Evans who we're back on Close back on friendship terms again. You guys are cool. Well cool. Can you get him on my podcast Kelly shut up It's called talk to the hands get your hand off it So I think Batman versus Superman's gonna be stupid, but I was still gonna see it Lex is absolutely still gonna see it

but what i was still going to see it lex is the one who is still going to see it uh... and so is that i'm going to jerk off in the theater looking at what's right here okay now explain i don't know suicide squad explain this to me the joker is not the bad guy no they took here's the deal so it's quite is they put together all the villains in the marvel are in the dc universe to take out which like but who is the bill of the government kind of like the whole of uh... stop stop stop Don't talk to each other.

They're criminals, right? And basically the cops or the young, I understand that. And said, you have to fucking fight this. I understand that. But we don't know what that is. I don't know who they're really. So the Joker. Yeah. Jared Lido is the hero. Is the hero. But it's an anti hero. Yeah. I know, but he's like dead dead. Kill shots really. It's the same thing. But in suicide squad, I think they were all in jail. And they said, if you like, you know, but he's like dead dead Cool shots really the same thing but in suicide squad

I think they were all in jail and they said if you like you know because you're in jail you have to Do you know what we're telling you to do? Kagan we get a we have Keith Roberts and Keith were alive on the you know what dude podcast would will so Vince Dan soda Louis J. Gomez Kelly for stucco. I'm trying to hear all that shit. Are you about to start wars right for Thursday? Yes or no? Oh! Start wars.

Start wars for Scolio. Yes, I am coming Thursday. Oh. Thursday 1130. Star Wars, like baby. Star Wars. No. Keith, what do you think?

Who else is about that life? Who else? I am. Hey, Kelly for stucca is. I am. Hey, Keith. Keith what do you think? Who else is about that life? Who else? Hey, Kelly Fistuka is. I am, hey Keith. Hey, how you doing? I'm great, I'm the world's life. I'm gonna like, Keith's neighbor anger.

Dan doesn't like your neighbor anger. I don't freshly shaved Dan, I don't like him. I've got stoned, hey Keith. Hey, what do you think? Tom and honor X X man. Tell me your order X men That bad man versus Superman Deadpool Suicide Squad Civil war or Civil War

Above Deadpool The way off, baby That's what it is above Deadpool Oh, fuck Deadpool I About above suicide squad Absolutely Civil war is the shit What second what second

Why is that so be patient That's why Why can't we say that? I said I said Civil War one. Number one. You got to eat. Stupid you asshole. You freaking stupid ass old motherfucker.

I said, stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid ass stupid You should be on a porch in a rocking chair. Shut your mouth. I'm getting you a... You were the slave. I don't like him. I'm getting you a pipe for Christmas. Good. Thank you, Steve. Get yourself a juicer for Christmas.

I'm having a studio. I'm trying. What did you say? It's a good juicer for Christmas. Listen. I'm trying I said, stupid. Alright. What's up? Yeah, buddy. What's up?

Who else is on his show? Give me the list. We got Chris Scopo. We got... Hey. We're going to wrap up this show. Very good. We got... What do I got? What dates? January 8th and 9th. We're going to be a show. Very good. We got, we got, what do I got?

What dates? January 8th and 9th. They're gonna be a banana than Hasbroke Heights. They're gonna be a banana, Hasbroke Heights. 14th. My one of my favorite clothes, by the way, Jersey, you see this on Facebook, a Twitter, retweet, and share from me, would you?

I'll be there, Bobbi. Oh, good man. Tell everybody, would you? Yeah, thanks, man. What else? 14th, 15th, 16th, you're at Comics, Mohig and Son. Then the next weekend, would ya? Yeah, thanks man. What else? 14, 15, 16, through our comics, Mohiegan Sun. Then the next weekend, you're gonna be January 21st,

22nd, 23rd, off the hook comedy in Naples, Florida. Okay, and I got a big show in, where the fuck is it? Knoxville, in Tennessee. Tennessee. Coming up in April for Dr. Steve. It's on my website. Tennessee.

Anybody from Tennessee? I'm gonna be putting that up. I want to, it's April 23rd. April Renaissance Theater. Renaissance Theater, I'm coming down, do one show, theater show in the middle of taping sex drugs, which starts in, end of February. So get on the, it's on my website,

robberkillelive.com, for everything, me, Facebook, Twitter, follow that stuff, Instagram. We got Deep Who over here. What do you got, buddy? Where are you gonna be around? Around the town, just doing open mics, doing comedy. You check out my website, twitch.tv-art2depu.

What do you got, Skopo? I got a K-A-Tockels. At Chris Skopo on Twitter, and then you go to Chris Skopo back home. And what do you got, my friend Matt? I have a two podcast, one's a football podcast. It's the You're on the Clock podcast. That's on Facebook, and then you're on the clock on Twitter and then I have a pro wrestling podcast called outside the outside interference wrestling podcast Which is on SoundCloud and then the you're on the clock podcast. I'm sorry is part of the lineup media group. So go check us out

All right, so John did John Asher again John Asher man what do you got, man? Thanks for taking photos today, bro. It's a pleasure, thanks for having me. Instagram and Twitter is at the John Asher and website is thejohnasher.com. I want to say everybody, have a great Merry Christmas, have a happy holidays, be safe, take care of each other. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. We love you.

And thank you for doing this every week, coming here to riot cast wherever you watch it on YouTube Subscribe and let us know what you think and tell a friend Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way. Oh, what fun. It is to ride in a one horse open Jingle Bay jingle, jingle all the way. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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