Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Yankee Swap 2017

Episode Date: December 25, 2017

Bobby and guests Joe List, Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez and Liz Furiati celebrate this years Yankee Swap with laughs, love, and topless aggression! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Welcome to the floodiest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. What are the mic-assholes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it. Can I get a mic-a-pull? No, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass. I have a bunch? That was trying to keep it like a comic can I have what you guys on just us sitting down Sometimes it's hilarious sometimes No directions. I love doing it Side to the coin Daydying my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know. Do I look at these unwinded cats? You know what do my cats do? Unwinded cats.com! Oh, man.

Oh, just a walk. You move that yourself into the loop by itself. Oh, yeah. Did we do the numbering? I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. Oh, yeah. Did we do the numbers? You know what I'm saying, buddy? We're here. We're here one more year of Yankee Swap at the YKWD. I'm in a really great mood. Bobby's got lights around him that are about to give me a seizure Dan is exhausted

He's in the middle of film and billions and he needs a nap But he came in today for you guys and for us Joe list is here Joe list is here, and I was ready. I wanted on the record This is for for Dan for everyone. I was ready for every fucking time that was thrown at me. It was Wednesday at eight. It was Wednesday at noon. It was Tuesday at two. It was January 11th at fucking 6 a.m.

I said, you got it. You got it. I want to thank the, you know what, Dude, family for accompanying my diva schedule. Not accompanying. That's not the word. A company. Not the word.

Let's just say it's, you, it's, it's's not the word a company. Well, let's just say it's you It's it's that word but something else I'm a dating Fuck it. That's it You made me almost hate Gabby to point where I was like all right fuck motherfucker It's all right. Why are you always there? Louis yelled at me every single time. Well, Louis is an animal, a wild animal who doesn't know how to treat women. And he's next if you ask me.

No, you have to have fame. We're going to get taken down to, huh? Stand up and you ask digital. Yeah. That was fun because you had a good one and then it was like, you hit a wall, but then you walked around the wall. You're like, we're going to to get down to shit because I got it I thought I was gonna get a bigger laugh on the first one and then you paused waited for more we were ready for it

Wait for a punch line, but we get some dumb shit on your arm there. I don't know what it is It's a male cool J. Oh, it's a tattoo. I'm sorry. Oh, you asked home. I'm sorry. I wasn't sure it looked silly I thought it was an excellent special why we have the Yankeeswap today We have Lewis Gomez is coming in. He's late of course, because he's always fucking late. And we also have Liz is coming up. Whoa. Yeah, that's special.

Special guest list. She was the alternate for Dan if he couldn't make it. So, I believe. Liz is a great macho man. Yeah, the best. We should make Liz do macho man when she hits her. She should just do have to do macho, man. The entire show. Well, well, she's coming up, which is great. And then I move that bag a little. Did I move? Did I fuck you shot up?

Okay, good. Anyways, and it's gonna be a great show. I'm very excited about the Yankeeswap. I look forward to the Yankeeswap every year. Ever since I introduced it in 2006, Gabi. Thank you. What's wrong? I told you she keeps, who's explaining it, we talked about it last week, I digress. All right, that, that, that. Here's the thing we do every year, I'm like, you've been here for six hours.

I've been in here, I was here, pre-pubescent, I was on the show and you dumb kitchen. I keep down. Yes, Dan brought you on the show. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. And then people said, Gabby, we're the Dan, we like Joe.

No, they never said that. Probably did, they did and it's okay. That's then people said, we're the damn we like Joe. No, they never said that. They did. They did. And it's okay. That's a part of me. I'm trying to face. They did not say that. It was too many voices. I got it. Durosa was right. We got to go all the way back to the beginning, Bobby. Dude, why do I those ears match your ears? Yes. Yes. That's why I told you I want to wear the hat. You think it's against you. But I know Lewis is going gonna make a hilarious snowman

and my ears fit the earhat. So let's just let it do that. Let me just have my earhat. Oh my God, you're tired. I am so fucking out of it. What's going on? I feel like we could have a soda snap today. No, no, no, no, I was a super late last night.

What were you doing last night? I went and saw LCD sound system with Arishaffir. Oh, I heard. And there was drugs involved. Yeah. You got a little hangover. I got no sympathy. I'm going over. I got you too. No, I don't no, I don't I thought you were fucking working hard on billions I'm doing both dude. Yeah, but you don't do drugs and go to concerts That you do though

Cuz why not why can't you do drugs and go to concerts because it's not the 60s. Can you shit together? All right fucking what are you John L Lithgown, footloos? You can just hate music? No, you could fucking like music. You can go and enjoy it on drugs and now granted, you can go sober, but... Yeah, you can go sober and you can enjoy, or you can stay home and get some rest.

How come they're also good at dancing? Oh. Footloos, the cast. They get to the dance, everyone's fucking moonwalking and jiving, and like, there's never dance. What's going on here? They're doing backflips, they're high heels dance, everyone's fucking moonwalking and jiving, I'm like, there's never dance, what's going on here? They're doing backflips, they're high heels. It's like gay sex when you suppress it, you're better at it, right guys?

We all know. You are gonna have the best load of your life later. Oh, dude. I like this is, Joe's already started with the beard talk on Skype. I'm just saying that you could have went home last night. You have a big day today. Yeah, this is important. This is important thing.

Yes, and on here. Yeah, you swap is important. I need you at your best. On here. One day a year, I need the dance soda. We all know and love. And you go out and gal event with that fucking hippie, Shafir. And Michelle Wolfen, Gary Veter.

Oh, yeah, that's a good group. There's a good group. Gary Veter just did Colbert. I went to the taping. It was great. A great fucking group, a bunch of sociopaths who have nobody bear I went to the taping it was great fucking group a bunch of Social pass who have nobody in their lives. I'm sorry. Can we only talk about one person's late night? We can't talk about Gary Veters is he doing late night? He already did shot co bear that doing a weird thing where they shoot it in advance It's really annoying, but he killed it was great. Oh really good. He's a he's a nice guy

He's really the only person of note doing late night anytime soon. I won't For speaking of that. I'm doing the tonight show Thursday night. Whoa! Thursday night, I'll be, so. There's an, let's get this out of the way too. Laffable is one of the apps that sponsor this podcast and we're a big part of Laffable. Everybody here is, I think Joe is at least. Yeah.

And it is, if you like podcasting, go download the app right now, go to your app store on iTunes and get the most insane podcasting app out there. It is great. Laughable is the app you wanna get. If you like podcasting, it will give you so many more new people to listen to. It has the functionality that you want

and you can also buy tickets to shows like my Laf Factory ticket in Chicago, you can buy tickets right on the app. So if you like me and you like to show and you see I'm coming to the town by the tickets right through Lafable. Lafable is the app to get, go to iTunes and get it now. Also, I wanna thank Sanhizer, the best microphones

in the world, those are the ones I do, they hook me up for the one-on the world. Those are the ones I do. They hook me up for the one-on-ones. So if you are doing podcasting, make sure you go to San Heiser, get your microphones. What else do we have? Four corners podcast. Oh, yeah.

Lenny Marcus. Yeah, Lenny Marcus, and who else? Oh, I don't know. Oh. Good sell though. Lenny, go hard on Lenny. Lenny, Lenny gets it over. He doesn't need anybody else. Lenny's Lenny, baby. Lenny go hard on Lenny. Lenny, Lenny gets it over. He doesn't need anybody else.

Lenny's Lenny, baby. Lenny. It is. Oh, Lenny. Lenny. Lenny, four corners is the newest show on Riotcast. We're very proud of it. We love the show.

It's four corners with Lenny and his friend Neil. Renny? Oh, man, that would have been great. That would have been amazing. Yeah. What's that? Brennan? No, no, no, no, a Brennan flip though Strong that would have been a huge podcast Neil Armstrong would be bigger though. Mm-hmm. They never went to the book

We're not Neil Simon. Oh, he's big. He's dead old. I think it might be a lot Yeah, I think he's old. I think he's dead. Are you sure? Well, let's one thing Robert. No, it's playwright. Let's be careful Let's be careful of announcing people We did the Dom Iraera joke to Judy Gold. Yep somebody sent an email I will not listen to the show anymore. That was Disturbing said I read oh get lost so good ridden sensitive How long did you guys go with it for a couple minutes today? Was it the joke, guys.

What a weird thing to not listen to the show for. I think we should kill off a comedian every episode. That's not bad. Well, you know, legitimately, Al Finney, I couldn't think of a comment. Al Finney, Al Finney. Al Finney.

Is that even a comic? Yeah, that's true. I don't even know, is that even a real person? What the fuck? The heads, man. I thought it was a rat. I have a mouse in my apartment I kicked a mouse to death the other day. I feel really bad

Well, I came out of my house and he was running full speed and Sarah somebody said they don't have bones They have wacky bones. Yeah, they can hold their bones. They fold their bones. That's a that is not true No, they just go That's not that's an absolute cartilage. It's cartilage. Yeah, it's not a nose. Like you could squeak your nose. Mouse. I know this. I know mouse science. But it could just stick onto your door, dude.

So he was coming at me and it was like a hallway. It was like fucking taxi driver. And it was like a woo, and he was kind of just booted him. And he skidded all the way across the hall, hit the back wall, and then he came again. But this time with a little hitch in his giddy up. And so I fucking booted him again, and then he flew into my umbrella, I had an umbrella outside, and I just started jumping on the umbrella, and then when I pulled

it up, he was dead as a fucking mouse, deserves to be dead. That's killing mouse on Christmas. So it wasn't Christmas, it was a day ago. So this mouse is just trying to get by you, and yeah, into my home. Alright, I think it's Christmas. Where my wife sweeps, where my kids play with their toys their toys where his kids where his kids were looking under the door They're father being murdered well fuck up. They shouldn't be in my house. They belong in a different house By the way these hats they got to get all cuz all your body heat comes from the head. Yeah, I'm sweating

Yeah, like fucking you know of looses here on time. We'd be able to take the hats off We can't take the hat off until Lewis gets it my We're on time. We'd be able to take the hats off. We can't take the hat off until Lewis gets here. My hat's really crazy. It's like fancy, so what happens? What you have do not? It keeps falling off. It doesn't matter. Keep it on your head.

You look like a Christmas debutante. They would be like, it's the Christmas pageant in a really white state like Indiana. No, she looks like if you were in a Christmas story, she'd be the Christmas queen that allows people into Christmas land. Oh, she just looks lovely and just sweet, you know. Yeah, I like more specifics.

Yeah, she's definitely a Jew. I mean, she's got a horn coming up. Oh, no. Oh, what's happening? Are you a heeb? I'm a heeb. Yes, she's a heeb. Well, look at her.

You know what, happy Hanukkah to you even though it's the last night. It's the last night? I don't know, I don't. She's not. Yeah, she's a cop. You know, this is the problem with the Jewish people. What? You try to wish them a happy Hanukkah,

and they don't even know. I like that you delivered your Jew hatred as a Jew. Dan, I thought with the Jews the whole point, I've wanted to be a Jew since I was very young, and I just wanna say, guys, we're surrounded by the Jews. Okay, what do you mean? We're surrounded.

That guy's not a Jew. No, but downstairs is a comedy seller. That's not what surround it means. That sounds good, we're above them. Yeah, who's upstairs? We're above them, figure it who's upstairs? We're above them figure it all around us All right, so no anti-Semitism Nome

I don't we're lucky Lewis isn't here. No, no, doesn't pop it anymore. He does once in a while. He's a busy guy Don't my aisle. I love that guy. I just admire I think you so smart First of all, hey, he doesn't listen B. He doesn't book God, I just admire I think he's so smart. Why are you saying this to get spots in that book? First of all, hey, he doesn't listen B, he doesn't book. Yeah, anyways, he has to. Hey, he does listen and B, he does book, it's his club. He has to say they have a meeting every Monday. Who's, what the lineup is?

You know what they do at that meeting? They listen to this podcast. Yeah, all the time. All right, then fucking that I doubled down. He's great. I love it. He's very wise. I love listening to his show. There you go, a lot of spots get ready to work a lot. Yeah, get ready going to get all the time. All right, then fucking, then I double down. He's great, I love him. He's very wise, and I love listening to his show. There you go, a lot of spots, get ready to work a lot.

Yeah, get ready to just be full. I don't put in that much, because I care about my life and my wife. I say I'm available these two days, and then I go home and I masturbate and kill myself. So you just, why not? Why not? That's it, I thought that was gonna be like a thing

where at least like a snicker. Because you rined my wife and my wife and my wife. Yeah, we were still stuck on that. We were my life and my wife. And it was like, that fell to a quote, Montrie. I was thinking of which I got a big coin yesterday. Five years, God.

Yay! And you know what, your friend, Dan, did you celebrate drugs and alcohol? No, didn't do alcohol. What? Did you do alcohol? Yeah, and why do you gotta, why do you, this is, you're hurting,

this is an Allen moment. You're hurting both of our feelings. You're taking from my moment, and then hurting him for some reason judging him Yeah, I was open with you now with both Last our moments to now I'm hurt because you're both attacking me Yellow now out Allen, but you yelling at me like my I know you used to and I don't respond anger. That's what happens I get angry So now, but I'm trying to let you know how I feel and you're shutting it down

You're screaming at me you're screaming at me. I'm saying I'm hurt and you're saying that we need to take our shirts off Just hug it out. I might take it. I support that I feel like Dan is working on a body, but he's not quite there yet. Yeah, it's like I feel like it's really improved But it's not revealed. Oh, just yeah, I feel like it's really improved, but it's not revealable just yet. Yeah, I feel like he has a third nipple somewhere. No. No, no. Someone in this room does.

Third nipple, someone, yeah, third nipple. Mike, not on me. You have a third nipple at home? Yeah, that's fucking more disturbing. What do you fucking love for low bill? Yeah, that was kind of a thing. He's like, I have a collection of ladies. I have a collection of lady, middle or nipples from San Antonio

Finally Oh, what he even rings like an asshole What I would rather do the show Stop don't answer it Let him do it again. Let him wait now. I would. I think we should do the whole podcast with that noise happening. Yeah. I'll be loose. How about if we do the whole podcast with Outlos, he has stayed out since his ring's the bell.

Is that what we want? I love it. And we have to wait until he does it jingle bells. You should have someone bring up his gifts through the window. Yeah, Mike. I'll jump out the window. Get his gifts. Yeah, you can be saying it.

Last year he did have a pretty killer gift. He did. What if we text him and say the podcast is tomorrow? Oh my God, text him. Tell him it's tomorrow, I messed up. Tell him he's ruining Lenny's show. Yeah, this is great. I agree with all of them. Call him on the phone, put it on.

No, because if we text him, he's gonna know he knows. Call him on the phone, go, I fucked up. It's not today. I mean, listen to him. Listen, like a dog. He's doing, he's doing jiggle bells. He did it He did let him in fuck it. Let him in all right. We did jiggle bells. I knew he'd do it You really see his dog and you understand that sport is Lewis like Lewis is sport like they're the same

that he's bark He really is a jackass. Um, brother brings a stripper again though. How fun that was. Well, I don't, I don't, I hope this one doesn't have a, you know, a penis. Yeah. Why? Big smiles. Big smiles.

Hey, Luke. Oh, I hate you have a bag. The weather outside is right for us. Oh, here we go. Actually quite quite pleasant Lewis Jay Gomez singing the hits But as long as you Yes, he is Yep, are you Yeah, little mouth

Yeah, cuz he loves it in the ass actually puts my stuff is but it's all coming together. Ah, yes tonight. Joe Tomorrow Thursday Thursday Yeah Thursday Something tells me Valent is gonna laugh hard and smack that desk That's what he does when he is Robert Reichon What did you do? Did you tackle somebody in a bush? Why is your jacket dirty? Oh? Really all right Well welcome Lewis Merry Christmas happy Hanukkah happy new year

What with the Hanukkah happy new year What with the Hanukkah okay, you're right. You're right. You know what let's not be politically correct. It's Christmas Gabby's a Jew Gabby's a Jew yes, yes, just you wish. Oh you were so hot You could still get into it Lewis goes full creep on Gabby Yeah, I don't like how he asks us to sit next to me. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa We can't take them off. You got to put them on. That's so cool. Wow. Wow.

How did Lewis get the biggest laugh of the show so far? That's what it on. We're in the giving move. You know what I do. That's what you do. There you go. That's podcast. Do you still do the YKWD awards?

I mean, look at that. That's what you should do. No, we did awards. We did awards. We did awards. One year. I think I'm the best guest. I think you're most of a group.

You're not because you ruin it with be 20 minutes late all the time. Yeah, according to the comments You are not the best guess. Yeah, according to the emails, too You're literally I've been asked please take you off the show. I was trying to be friendly and so you're the most improved You think a world war two pilot right now Well, we're one I guess It's two world one they didn't have planes. They did, they did. They had propeller planes.

World War Two, they had the Mustangs, the fast planes, where they wore those things. With a spit fire. Yeah. Right, they had planes in World War One. But they barely planes. That's the ring of a world war. Yeah, but bring up that plane.

That's like, I get it. Instead of a joke about World War One. You can buy those as CVS now. No, I love them. World War One planes. This is my World War, I, I get to the joke about where I was. You can buy those at CVS now. No, I, world, world, world war one planes. This is my world war one bit when I was a youngster. They originally called it the great war. Yeah, look, they weren't. I have to delete my tweet about you performing how proud how excited I'm about you on

10, yeah, do it Thursday. Yeah, I'll do that. We don't have to do a bit that's been. I don't want to force that any of our 45 people going to the wrong night. I'm right here. What's that? Oh, look at how Lewis he gets on man. Joe, Joe list go with that old bit. That's too late now. It missed So guys here's the big day

The Yankee swap is here. You lose you got your gift But Liz isn't here. I put it right there. Are you excited? My gift is by far the best gift. I'll tell you right now. There's no doubt about is it as good as last year's gift What was last year's gift? You had a tranny stripper in here. Oh yeah, that was a fucking great gift. Is it as good as that? Laptop's from a tranny stripper.

God damn it, that was a great gift. That was a great gift. This is how incredible I am. I forgot that that event happened. Yeah. That's how great I am like in life. That's how fantastic I am. And that's the type of fucking trend center that I am.. Oh God these words are just need to stop out of Lewis's

I like it. I like it. I like trends. Yeah, you said a trend. It's a big trend of people bring strippers to yucky I completely fucking forgot that I even did that that's a whole thing in the world that happened that's incredible That I forgot about it's not a trend though. You just did it once. If I was the wrong word, Dan, fine, I said the wrong word. I got called out for reason the wrong words and now it's my job. Now you can call it. You know I didn't call you out.

I helped you through it. Did not call you, I said, I know what you mean. I think that's the wrong word. Let me have Louis through it because I'm talking with the pen now. So I feel like I'm illustrating this more. I have the pen. So I'm pointing at the, I mean with your pen.

I'm sorry. Thank you for starting what I hope becomes a trend. Ten. I hope you get a stripper with a penis. Senior character you're using props now. M'rob guy. A great gift to how did you get the freckles? Lewis is coupons were a great gift. Lewis always has great gifts.

I don't fuck around every year. I come I came with a goal fight Chinese fighting fish one year and it dude. Yeah. Great. Great. That's it. Lift for like three years. I have the coupons. Oh, these are great stripper training stripper lap dance. 20 year new dude. Yep. Great. It lived for like three years. I have the coupons.

Oh, these were great. Stripper, uh, uh, a train of stripper lap dance. I mean, deep way great gifts to a one way ticket to Washington. Oh, that was hilarious. He had the burrito. That was really funny. Taco Bell was great. That was a great gift. Where is depot? Is he dead? I think the greatest moment in the history of you know what, dude is when we played his fucking monologue jokes and then you said I'm not hungry anymore. Because the whole episode you're talking about how hungry you were and then he played one

of the worst things ever Anthony was here for that. That was one of the best moments ever. Yeah, we can take the hats off. You can take it. Awesome, we got to do it. If you want to. Don't forget we have to make time to do Rose Thorn. Oh God, yeah.

This is. How we know of a time limit on this episode. No, no, no. One of the year that we have to make time to do a rose thorn. Oh god. Yeah, this is a time limit on this episode No, what is it? One of the year that we get to do together? Whatever we want. What is rose the what? Rose thorn seed? We played every year. Yeah, dumb dumb The thing we do the thing we regret and who we want to fuck and Every year Joe tries to get us to play we play Don't we do it last year we did last year we did last year. We did. We did. You're screaming at me and calling me names. You're hurting my feelings. I'm sorry. I'm Christmas. This is a family event. You can go down for that now, Doug. What? Calling you a fag. Yes. I'm out of it's true. No, especially if it's true. If it wasn't true, you'd be fine,

but you're in trouble. It's not true. Who-huh. Uh-huh. Um, who's gay? Okay for you guys Okay for joy on Christmas day T.J. Miller went down. Oh, yeah, he's not coming back. What do you mean he's not coming? Hey, what's that mean? He's not coming right? What I mean? I would eat never did he punch a girl. Is that what it is? Punch the girl. Who doesn't punch girls? Girl sex I have a punch to go do you have terrible fucking ground a pound? What it is punch the girl doesn't punch girls doing sex I have a punch to go do you have terrible fucking ground a pound If you were gonna grand a pain you'd be punching girls around in a box the girl during sec she's in her guard He's like dude. I'm gonna punch through this you put that's how you

This is back in college. He's getting taken out for Everybody so new is pick man. So something you did back in the day. You're getting taken out for Yeah, everybody so Box news pick man. So something you did back in the day. You're getting taken out for anything. Well, yeah, if you're a bunch of girl Well famous enough you got to get big enough then they'll come for you. Yeah, that's crazy That's it, but anything takes you out we this some we he also to be on when you read the story It's really not as bad as it seems. But he's gonna lose it all. What says he's choking her and punches her? And then it's fucking with a bottle. Some lady without permission.

Whoa, what? I would say nobody should read that bottle. And it alleges. I don't know what happened. Look, but it alleges that he fucked her with a beer bottle and she'll do it and smack her and punch her. Lose her name. Pretty graphic.

She was saying, Jane Doe will call her, okay. And. The article called her Sarah, but not my wife. It is your wife. Fine, job, we'll say it. It is your wife. It's fine, Joe. We'll say it. It's a real sweet. I want to read this sweet.

Lena Anderson. I saw TJ Miller at the comedy show this fall. He was completely wasted and continued to pick only on women in the audience. Oh, sure. So I'm glad so upset they cried. The comedy seller manager had to pull him off stage. I don't remember hearing that. I don't know if that's true.

I would like to talk to Liz about that, but I've never seen a guy just attack women and then when they cry, I've never heard that. That's the Lewis's, that's my father. That's his closer. I'm sorry, I wouldn't do that here. Yeah, that's a comedy seller.

I've never heard that. That's a CB's bit. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. I mean, but look at that. Somebody comes out as soon as that happens, everything else, everything you've ever done or anybody's ever seen you do. Context doesn't exist anymore.

Whatever dude, he's got a knife. Look, here's a problem dude. He's out there being yogi bear. I don't think he's actually out there being yogi bear. He is, dude. He's out there dressed up in a little bow tie naked. Some more than the average rapist. Hey, boo-boo.

Hey, light down on the camera. I got a bunch in your fucking face. I got a girl that had too many. How about we take a bottle and fuck it up boo-boo? How about we fucking with his bottle? Close your eyes, light back up. We're gonna put this bottle in your boo-boo. Let's hope the range of shows down around

and see me figure you with this bottle. Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo. Kind of set up. That's a hilarious photo for the contents of the article. So, a bunch of shows down around to see me figuring out what this right there. All right, real as bitch. Uh, what's her? What's her? Um, I know they'd like that David crosses wife through them under the fucking bus. She do What happened? Who's what what she did? Some anal involved. Oh, yeah, Oh, I read it read it read it read it. He ain't a lady slowly sexy It's like a truck up in a

There we go Slowly sexy Hang on one second dick you read it as Gabby absolutely My hand goes up there not your penis I think she's not. Shut up. It's true. I'm idiot. No, allows. Yeah, it's a lie. I mean, the mental is a lie. Wow.

Wow. Fire started literally. I've had, listen to me. What is better? I've had Chris Scopo on the show. That's the dumbest thing that's ever been said on the show. Yeah, hold on, I'm reading it. It's like, yeah, I mean, if you don't, listen.

If you don't make knowledge that you're're good. Listen, look at us. Look all of us. Laugh in her face. Yeah. Acknowledge it. Do not fucking deny it. No, I'm reading it. Shout out. I was seeing which part is the best part to read. Oh, okay. Why do I have the big quote they put in bold? That's probably the most significant one. I know a thing about journalism. He choked me. No, no, no. Good. He choked me and I kept staring at his face hoping he would see that I was afraid and that he would stop. No, Dan, we didn't get to be better. He told me. Oh, there wasn't a fun joke. It was

a real mean joke. And I kept staring at his face and saying, look at my googly googly one eyes Are you afraid and then you would stop I could say a thing. I was like, you will Take callers old geez. Oh snowballs I'm in some real trouble this time It looks like it's gonna kill me for the comes I just wanted a little rough house I just wanted a little rough house. I was building a character in the emoji movie, but she was in. You know what goes back?

I feel like we should put it on the record. Dan is making fun of Gabby reading, not the victim of this problem. I don't care. People's context doesn't exist. They'll come after me for that. They're gonna take it and put it out there, and then Billions will have to be reshot with me.

You have to be the same as the Hamids. That is the happen. I've been in screen actors guild for... Can I just say I would love that if Joe could revise the role of Muffee. You owe me billions. I've never seen the show. I guess, I'm trying to get people to remember your character's name. It's Muffee.

And it's season three's coming out in April. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait for billions. But again, real cash. Even though they won't cast me. Joe, I just want to show you this is how we do it on the set of billions. This is me doing billions. Buy, sell. That's it.

Oh, well. That bomb, but I knew it was going to and I'm the rest. I want to sell it. Give me a bomb. Give me a bomb, Anna. I want to sell it to I could never see it again. This is me on a speed date. to sell it. I want to sell it too. I can never see it again. This is me on a speed date.

Bye. Sexual. There it goes. That's a good friend. That's something. That's something to do. That's nothing. That's a good friend.

That's a good friend. Can I say that's a good friend? We're taking that bomb. It's a good friend. Bobby smiling. I can't see but I choose. Listen, yours was a fucking hum dinger. Yeah, I was a real hum.

You look at it. You made Lewis sad. Ha ha ha ha. Everybody hurts. This is... Sometimes, joe lists socks on cock. That's true. That's not true.

You never put a penis in your mouth. You can't get it in. No. Oh, that's hurtful. It just kisses it a lot. There's a lot of side-licking. He's like, hey. I've never been a penis in my mouth, but I've tried just every decade of my life to get

one, my own in my mouth. Really? Yeah, but it can't reach. I'm too blanky. Would you really want to if you could? Yeah. Yeah. What are you kidding?

I blow myself all the time. Do you get a blowjob any time you want? It's great. It's come. I tried. I almost I blow myself all the time. Do you get a blowjob anytime you want? Oh, it's great. It's cum, you're on the top. I tried, I almost snapped my neck in the tub. I was too heavy. I'm not kidding, I flipped my legs over. Is that why you put all that cushion around it? I put, I put, I put, I got a little thing. I told you, this I got a little instructions.

It was a stick figure, is on how to suck your own dick. It was four little blocks, and I went my tub, and I, he's like, I'm gonna use some guy to bus stop. He's like, here you go, fucking stick figure, with stuck your own dick. I don't know little blocks. And I went my tub and I was like, who gave it to you some guy to bus stop? He's like, here you go. Fucking stick figure with stuck your own dick. I don't know. It was on the back of something. Yeah. Like what a newspaper. Like a daily news.

I went home and I, it says, throw a life flat in the tub, throw your legs over your head. And I, when I threw my legs over my head, I heard something crack. And my, there was, this should be a weight limit and a penis size limit or so you know I mean my dick was not big enough as as it folded over it went back inside the fat surrounded it yeah and it was just inches away from my mouth I love that I just know for a fact that dawn got yelled at because you tried that we're like don't get it dead fucking just you've collapsing on I mean you had right am I wrong for that what happened then what happened to you I don't get it dead fucking just you collapsing on I mean you had right am I wrong for that?

What happened then what happened? I don't know what happened? I'm gonna have a hug. I just think of a bomb twicing around the show in the history of YKW I'm not not at all, but if you don't get you if you stop leaning on your fucking face I'm gonna break your finger. He's doing this like he's pontificating. I picture the tub just Falling apart around you like the the cardboard box in Ace Ventura. When he tries, I didn't. Guys, if we pull up that scene, you can give it to him.

You know what I just want to say. I let pull up that scene. It's the card board box. If we laugh, if we laugh, if we laugh, he's big. And then, if we don't laugh, watch it, we're gonna take this one and somebody else's. All right. Yeah go boom

This is Bobby in the bathtub sucking his own Don't play the volume so we don't get flagged. Can we get flagged for this? No, I'm kidding. I'm fed Play the right here is Robert trying to suck his own dick in the bathtub I'm already laughing. That's Don. Yeah, I don't think it's a part of that. No help, but no help! I'm sure the suck is on dick, okay? That's just guy wanted to get the... It's bathtub, it's flaps on it.

Close them over himself. I'm laughing at you, laughing at you. I'm laughing at you, laughing at you. I'm laughing at you, laughing at you. I'm laughing at you, laughing at you. I'm laughing at you, laughing at you. I'm laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing at you laughing me. Yeah. Would he choke you and fuck you with that clip? Yeah. Geez, allegedly.

I like you. You put a bottle in my pussy, baby. Maybe you can be watched that clip. Well, I'm gonna type a bottle. It was like one of those big bottles. One of those glass coke bottles. Like, come on, that's not even a big deal. That is a big deal.

It's like asking her. It's like asking her. Putting anything in your pussy without permission. Ask a woman. What if it's like a key, like if it's a monster energy bottle. You see one of those big ones you get to the festivals? Yeah. That would be's cool. Put anything in your pocket. Pass a woman. What if it's like a key, I give it to a monster energy bottle. You see one of those big ones you get to the festivals. That would be insane. That would be insane.

What if the thing falls off? What's up a bottle? It depends what type of bottle, dude. An empty used miniature coke bottle, I say comfortable. An empty like a Japanese type of coke bottle. Oh, like one of those little, I don't think, you know what I'm talking about? You get a fuck, what the fuck?

That was just, was this fucking 1952? That was not me. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? What the fuck? What is this? Was this fucking 1952? That was not me. First of all, the only person I could ever do was somebody with a mouth that small. I didn't hit that though. But come call. Yeah, see ya.

That was you. That was you. You're a mouth. It was the only mouth that was a little visible mouth. What? Whoa. We're all having trouble today. I'm having trouble today. It's the best thing I've ever had in the show. You don't take your hand off your face. I'm gonna be visible, visible, what? Whoa. Ah! We're all having trouble today. I'm gonna have to do it today.

It's the best thing I ever had in the show. You really just come in here. You don't need to hand off your face. I'm gonna pee. What? It's like 10 minutes in. I gotta take a pee break. What the fuck?

You got the drugs you did last night. He's going to splash water on his face. Get kidneys fucked up. You're gonna do some more Coke. Yeah, you just come back. You just come back. What? It's 306.

Fuck you dude. What? What's your number? No, we got a way for Liz. Oh, what? It's 306. Fuck you dude. What? What's the number? No, we got a way for Liz. Oh, where is she? 306, we have to pay. We're not going to talk time limit. Yeah, Abby.

Teller, teller. There's no time limit. We're fine. This is the one two year we get together. Yes. Okay, okay. Is this going to be a premium episode that people have to pay for? No, no.

This is better not make that. This is not premium. This is the shit. No premium. Can I just say fucking one week ago Lewis is like we should do a regular show just the I know this is better not make that this is not for me. I can shift this is the shit Can I just say fucking one week ago Lewis is like we should do a regular show just the regulars charge the people 80 bucks Lewis is the most unapologetic capitalist in the history of comedy Different thing because people would come into it knowing that they would be charged for a dollar in episode for the regulars. I like it.

We'll have a three to four hour episode once a month for our episode. So I got a quarter per listener. Yeah. Dave, that's good. We use split it evenly. Great. A buck, a buck 50 million.

Yeah, but I got to pay these guys too. No, fuck them, dude. I got all to care. You can't, no. My team will come in. We got to get paid. What's your shirts? Guess there's a little team here at Crazy Bro.

You get paid? We, they work under our banner. We pay them salary. So it's not like, don't worry about it. They had a salary? Yeah. Over at labs, we don't do comedy for money. What is it? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Get out of your ads fucking douchebags We do one a month 12 bucks a pop Then we split it even lay between us and the corporate company

I was the longest piss ever you're a liar. What did you do? Yeah, I put water on already? What'd you do? Already because you went to the middle nothing Okay, that's a little excessive He's struggling pretty bad right now. Remember Bobby used to do it already. Bobby's already in pressure, he used to be hilarious. Now it's just like she said. Yeah. I didn't even do it.

Do it. No, not do it. Do you set me up? Do it. No. No. Sometimes if you made me do a voice, dude, do a voice, dude. Hey, your show, your episode, all comedians.

Does that make you nervous or excited or happy? You got sedacus and you got Amy Sederis. Yeah, but they're not stand-ups. No, but it's all comedy. I think that's good. They're not stand-ups. It was all stand-ups. If it was all stand-up comedians, I would be like,

oh shit. It also be weightless special. I think it's good though. If they, if all comedy. Because they're, they're hot. They're ready. I mean, I would, I mean, if Ryan Reynolds could have been, I would have chose that or Harrison Ford would be.

Harrison Ford be your top hit. Yeah. That would rather I mean of Ryan Reynolds could have been I would have chose that or Harrison Ford It'd be Harrison Ford be your topic I would like to meet Harrison Ford real hard solo fan. Maybe Robert Duffal Robert Duffal What was this? What was this? You like what was people what no, I like actors if I could meet somebody I'd like to meet an actor. I mean we can meet comics. I could probably meet these. It's cool You know, I mean I don't want to meet anybody. Of I mean, we can meet comics. I could probably meet these. It's cool. You know what I mean? I don't want to meet anybody. Of course you don't. I really don't. Robert Duval's first movie.

I'm comfortable when I meet like famous people and like people that want to be around famous people. Yeah, because you can't call me a faggot and be yourself. No, I can't call them a faggot. Yeah, that's his problem. His name is 100- He's just Lewis all the time. Security has squirted me out of the area. He, we Robert Duval, hey, dude, you're good in that movie. The good Godfather, whatever one you're in. Good stuff, dude. That's the worst Lewis impression.

We could all come, we need to kill a mockingbird. That's what I said. It's like a young child. Who Robert DeValle? Yeah, I was doing my own, it's like I were doing our own podcast. I need to remake, I mean, Jesus Christ, they're, they're remaking all these movies. That's a movie that could really use a remake what to kill a mocking board

Lord, none of us can talk who is Jacob as presents to kill a mocking bird 12-Aingry men boo Radley's a real ass dude There's too many remakes. We need no remakes. We need fucking original ideas. I said we burned the old movies so we can't watch them anymore No remakes. You need fucking original ideas. I say we burned the old movies so we can't watch them anymore. Yeah Did you ever see? What's that movie? Nope major league. Oh great. What about that movie? I know you don't want to talk about that but you talk about major league Oh vacations good to Christmas vacation. Vacation Christmas vacation was not that good. What what you're fucked in the head Vacation was overrated. You're fucked in the head. Yeah. What vacation hold you're a garbage. You're an asshole. Vacation was overrated.

You're a piece of garbage. It's one of the best, it's the best Christmas comedy. Yeah. Well, now it isn't. It's a very good Christmas comedy. It's a very good Christmas comedy. What's the best Christmas comedy? A Christmas story.

A Christmas story. Solaris. It's not funny. It's not funny. Yeah. Home alone in Christmas. I think I take that to a poll right now. What's fun here? You take a poll right now, Faggot No, in your ass. Come on your butt. San is dick. I'm telling you that was something that doesn't even make sense

Paul means it is dead you did in that context pole meant it. I did That's why mall And I did That's why I'm all And I did Molly Check he fucked her the point He choked her A lot of it. I already sure if you're got a beer bottle of butthole You a bottle of butthole Yeah, maybe it's a big bottle what does Molly do I don't know what that drug does?

Just makes you an agent at the APA Yeah, pretty good Takes one bottle is interpussy Jesus Christ What does Molly do? I don't know what that drug does. Just makes you an agent at APA. Yeah Pretty good. She takes one bottles in her pussy. Jesus Christ. I'm uncomfortable being associated with it. You were there He's don't know where the line is The line is 20 feet or so I know where the line is last night up Dan's nose I mean I don't know where the crazy Chinese shit's coming from But I'm all cooking it's making me all fucking rowdy dude Chinese shit's coming from but I'm on coke and it's making me all fucking rowdy dude

Great On it doesn't do any characters it gets mad if you I go do I go talking to real voice Talking to real voice you be honest with me right now dude. You gotta be honest Dude I love fucking lifting weights. I love slamming ass I love fucking doing all that shit don't do a different voice. I need to hear your voice I'm coke Dan. I want to know who I'm talking to. I want to know the real you Come on A shirt new shirt That shirt it's Dan's big head with a bloody nose and he's all cracked out

Guys, co-dan is what a cr have Chris Scopo if he was funny. We could put him in here. Scopo is funny. It's like a Scopo recent. But a Scopo was a Pokemon and like evolved if he'd be Co-Dennis. Scopo's funny and he's opening for Mark Storm and I in Pucketsy. January 5th. Scopo, I will say this brograge saturday night. He's a killer bro.

Got a kind of fucking applause break What at the end when he said good night? No Or are you ready for your headliner What he said put your head together if you guys ready to get their show started Oh, he got it. He's like dude. He got two applause breaks started with it. Then he had a come on You guys can do better than that. Then he got a second applause break. He's fucking nuts He got in a plaza was in a performance piece Come on you guys can do better than that then he got a second applause break. He's fucking nuts Was it a performance piece

Growing up in the streets of Queens with a big butt wasn't so easy Look at that butt he's doing the jogging John the guzzon Oh those performance he bits were like on the train. They're like the dude Trains run it. They do the long thing and then it's He has the audience so clapping and beat he was like everyone clap your hands Hands everybody everybody come your hands. I'm cold dad. Stop it. I don't like it. I don't like clapping. I'm a bunch of paranoid I feel like we're being recording we're being recorded right now Fucking hate podcast I hate radio. I fucking hate crowd work especially. I can't even all do it. I hate voices. What was the scope of it? How was it listening?

Oh, you were just in the bar talking to John and you're like, I fucking gotta. Yeah, and then I was on the applaud. I thought he was bringing me up. I got nervous. He's I was like, he's bringing me up early. I thought he was done, but he's living on a plaza. Doing good, doing good. Scopus funny. We have to be, we as comedians, this is a serious note here. There we go.

We have to be, we have to be conscious, not to be like the industry where we just judge a comic from the first time we saw him nine years ago. Because the industry does that. Communion to that. But years of watching him. Yeah, you're podcasting. I'm not saying scopo.

Hey, sucks. I'm saying it with him. I'm saying, scopo has gotten funny. I get it. I'll tell you, I'll tell you by, I actually called him this year,

because I had a gig I went scopo. I need you to be honest. Have you gotten funnier? Because I have a gig, but I don't want to bring the person I brought last day because he fucking like two years or whatever it was and he goes yep I have and he did he went up and fucking did good really good god bless you really good you really tried to sell him and I appreciate that but what I'm gonna talk

about to stand up because scope has figured out how to do well on stage he's been doing well for a while on stage I'm talking about in stand up because scope has figured out a do well and say he's been doing well for a while and sage I'm talking about in life What does that mean? That means you're a fucking bomb data What is that? I was a joke. Is that a joke? Yes, it was that a joke. I meant he's not funny in life. I was that a set up to a big joke

I really laugh. I mean, kind of not really. Yes, it was. It was. When you're vulnerable, Gabby looks at you in a way that like, it's like she kind of sees you as a human. I think Gabby would not be the bull. I understand the fuck like whatever right now. I'm going to go up Dan. I'm having these ideas. I think we need you a side podcast you and Gabby. Just you two together. And she's like, he's not a monster.

Oh, this whole time, I thought he looked down at me because I was a puppet, but I looked down at him because he's not a man. He's a monster. Scrooge. It's another great one. You missed Joe's. You had a great joke. He was, I think Gabby would not fuck Lewis for a million dollars. Yeah, I think you have no, no chance with her. What? Gabby would not fuck Lewis for a million dollars. I think you have no chance. What? Gabby? Let me say about Lewis right now.

Let me say about Lewis right now. Lewis is in love. Very much in love. I know it's annoying. I like it. Can I tell you this? The photo is a problem. You know me, I'm play the middle corporate day.

Corporate day. Yeah, you're neutral. God hate you. I'm happy for him. God doesn't hate me God. God hates neutral people It's in the Bible. There is no Swedish. Sweet control. They're doing all right. Dan has a God. You don't have a God. Nope. No, you know, you have nobody. You're your own God Pretty deep. Thank you. I have a thing. I would remind me. Yeah, small mouth. We know you have a small No, I think that would be an annoying bitch is a podcast. Right. How'd you get a tan on just remind me. Yeah, a small. Keep going with this. We know you have a small. No, I think that would be an annoying bitch's issue. A podcast. Right, how'd you get a tan on gesture for hair? I probably know it.

We're gonna, it jugs out. Look at you in a side profile. We're gonna fucking. All right, now you know what I'm not gonna wait. Look up Asian pilot star wars. That's exactly what Lewis looks like right now. The fucking ex-wing Asian fighter. I hope it gets a laugh, Joe, cause this is the second thing you made us look up.

If I don't have to stink, you fucking asshole. You're laughing already. No, that guy, yeah, on the right, down the bottom. That guy. Now the fucking that thing with the hat and the ear. I don't think he's Asian. I think he's an alien. Second row.

Yeah, Joe, you fuck I didn't know Joe like grand terino over here Joe fucking hates Asian That's not an Asian But he went a long way for this job. Yes, well, also he's not eight. The timing was terrible. I may look like that, but it was terrible, Joe. The timing I said was gonna be later, and then you forced me into it by making this juggie for me. What is that?

You holding up. This coffee's unbelievable, Bobby. You got a YKWD mug where to get that from? Merch-Pum.com. Merch-Pum. That's right, you're wonderful. That's something right now. If you go to Merch-Pum, you guys with stories.

No, you can do that. You can also. No, you get you guess you can do that You can also get a skis here. You're YKWD YKWD hoodies are on sale Right now on sale possible impossible Right now it's on merch pump. I'm looking at it right now on merch pump go to the YKWD hoodie True shirts YKWD hoodie Why KWD down the bottom? I'm saying this because I am corporate. My favorite hoodie. Isn't it a great hoodie?

It's very comfortable. Dan stole it. Yeah, I took it. He took it. He took it. I'm chill. You're going to get nailed for this. There it is right there.

Click on it. Look at that, that flat chested model. Wow. Who is that? I don't know. Someone's wife, dude. Might not be. Or somebody's fucking shitty titted fucking. Go to the next photo.

Shitty titted. Shitty titted fucking model. Look at this. They're fucking. Why should you push it or something? I'm pulling her titties back. I don't know why. What is that?

She's doing a rubber Kelly impression. Look at that. That's a great real Joe list. So look at, but you know what's great about this hoodie. I don't know. Go back to the other one. What time out? I'm going to go back to that for a Look, one of the things on the inside.

This is what idiots work at fucking. March. One string in one string out. Yeah, one string is fucking inside of the neck on the photo. It's like a highlights magazine. A little picture find you like, oh, there it is. It's making me fucking furious. I'm going to fucking kill whoever did.

Why is it 52 to 55? Yeah, I would go with 52 personally. If you go to like three acts, you have to pay more. 55 for Bob. Yeah, but that's what they go to the other photo. I want to show you something. Why this hoodie is so good. Go to that one. Look at the now. Go to the sleeve, but they only have one seat. Go down. Go down. Go down. See that black sleeve. Go down to the bottom. Go down. Go bottom go down go to the pussy look at that See the rim it's black that's black the trim Logo Look at that logo right on the tit

High quality right look at that D that's a little smaller than the W though You know right on the tip and only comes it only comes apparently was for zoom out and only comes apparently with one one side of the hoody works yes got said it comes and only is made for sad new moms that's the body type yeah that's another bomb but i'll take it that i did you know what i'm all for three sad new moms a good band name that is and we are the sad new mom this is a great Christmas present do an asian now Joe but i don't i don't do that. I don't know who's doing that, but it's not me.

Okay. Can I pull a picture of Lewis back up? It's fun. It'll be a speed limit thing. All right. We're waiting on listed the Zianchi swap. And I mean, I don't know. I mean, no, we're not asked what people are you, dude? That's your problem. Is how you ask me? Is she, I might even joke. I might even do a a bit right now I really don't understand how that's even a problem slightly. What have you said is she of the Jewish persuasion? I think that would be a little more pro. I would peg somebody in the head with a can of two and if they said that, oh well that's why you'll never be a hiding. I'm a retune dog. If I mention to you, pizza party after this on Bob. Yes. Pizza on Bob. Pizza on Bob. Pizza on Bob. Pizza on Bob. Yes

Yeah, then we'll go to Joe's I'm high. I'm flying different scenes in Bobby's life for that happen or people are People It is when you want to go bands dog go to go to John's go to juggle sit down the booth like the old days that one time We did that thing. Oh, so I got a good picture of you and Lewis's son. Oh James Did you play the thing that I I've been here? the old days that one time we did that thing. That was fun. I got a good picture of you and Lewis's son. Oh, James. Did you play the thing that I, I've been here to say me, I did the Louis thing. What thing? That we conceptualized on the show?

Oh, so good. Let me tell you something. You didn't have the finger. It was so good. It was so good. Nailed it. So you should have stopped at the seller, right? Looked at the board and then kept walking

and then it should have went to the grizzly pair and you should have walked in front of two people That would have been funny. Yeah, I like the way it was other than the finger thing. I thought it was good I was amazing. Let's play it right now. Of course. Let's play it right now. Bring it up It's on Instagram YouTube. Yeah And then play Lewis to see and in Star Wars a new hope One of the highlights with them at the very end and then play Lewis to see an install wars a new hope I got it in I Just a pro he is a proud he'll make that funny

That'll be a bit for the rest of the day right now. I'm pretty baked dude You need to do blow, bro, then you're just flying high What does what does Molly do? I make you just happy I feel like you feel you for it in your arms tingle little and you fucking you're like hey, let's talk dance Really you want to talk to me dance last night? Yeah, I'm I will show me a dance move doing like this show dancing back and forth. I was doing a lot It's more just a little fucking head move just like that. I'm a big head guy So I gotta keep it in one zone. I can't be moving it around all right here is Ari was pogoing I was what's pogoing was pogoing up and down and I was yeah, what was the other guy doing Gary

Yeah, who else was there Michelle wolf both she doing running around now. She was like, yeah enjoying it She was right. Yeah, she was running killer jokes the entire time. I like Michelle. I know yeah, I mean unbelievable I like Michele. I mean, unbelievable you do this. Great. Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, but he ain't just a cheese, this fucking no-carb asshole. We're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're gonna die It's so good now That's great. I fucking love that you did that so funny. Yeah, I haven't I've an idea for a podcast I want to do where you bring a few comments together and you just think of a sketch idea and then you film the sketch afterwards

You release the podcast with the sketch that you guys wrote together on the podcast. If you're one of the 25 people that's, I mean, one of the 25 thumbs downers, tweet at us now and let us know what you didn't like about it. Was it? Was it Lewis's acting? Was it the shots? Cause I feel like the cinematography lined up.

Cause that's what happens, you give Lewis a couple of accolades, he gets all whipped up, dude, I got this other idea. He's settled down. I'm just spitballing right here, but all of us film a movie individually and then we come together You guys like that and check this out. Yeah, you dress up Gabby like a princess. Leah

I mean again, I don't know where it's coming from, but someone needs to stop with the racist. What the fuck was that? What is that? Dude, dude, dude, you gotta stop. You know my roommate in college, was Asian, please? Yeah, dude, you know. If he dead, maybe it's his ghost. He's Filipino, they don't die. How fucked up with it? It's an Asian ghost that is haunting us for a Christmas.

I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me.

I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right in a row that got me. I was doing good ones right maybe we should just play Road see you know, I let's try I don't know We do it every year you fuck I gotta pee again cuz my kidneys are popping out Do you got problems bro? It's not the water You're sick you drank a little bit of one a little bit of the other you you gotta Have a copy check down you probably fucking

Funny are you having a back pain even slight just a little is back pain anything dude. That's drugs anything you feel yeah kidney Shucks from Molly and the heroin rocket what a fucking awesome way out guys. It's not heroin Dan You'd I would get I would go do some acupuncture. I know some good people they can really What are you doing dude? What the fuck I can't take this podcast now This is my Yankee Swab this is the fuck are you doing? I'm doing your fuck sure it's funny. I can't take this podcast down. This is my Yankee Swab. This is the big one. You're fucking...

Yeah, this will be the story, not Lewis's breakdown of the DJ Bill of the situation. That'll probably go on. That'll probably fly over a radar. It's not big. I say we... I'm trying to get my friends off the hook over here. Can we take calls? All right, if you guys want to call call so you can me no, no, I want what what's wrong? It's exciting. Well, we might we might take a couple calls just to see what you want for Christmas

I'm thinking that yellow rose thorn sea. I think they want to know what happened this 917 261 6831 There's now a 7261-6831. That's not what 7261-6831. That'd be fucked up. That's Kaby. That's our coax in the fridge. You still have coax. Yeah, we did. Why you guys, what happened to be you guys are cheap fucks.

It was beer and coffee. You can have whatever you want. Do you guys remember when Kelly for Stuka tried to say that we took a shit in the bathroom and blame it on us? And it was her, right? I think it was. Yeah, she took a big fucking. He's got spam mail from her. What do you ask? He he's got spam I got a spam from Kelly for stucos what it say well any

text they have from her call spam haha actually she eats it yeah she looks yeah I look it's right and I can meet and I can it's my favorite it's a holiday tradition if it is the interlately she really looks like spam. Has she gotten big? She's squared and pink and fucking. I mean, she smells like I not saying Lewis isn't. She smells like preservative. Jay and bring up Kelly for stucco. Come on, I was going to see it. It was Kelly for stucco now. Oh, it's her. Here we go. I'm everywhere. I'm only present. Answer it. Answer it. I'm big, but I'm also nimble. Hello. What's going on? What are you

doing? It's not speaker. Hello. It's no. It goes through. It goes through the system. How's it? I can't hear anything. Can we? Hey, so it's not going through the system. Here. That's it. Hello. Yeah, I hear you. That's how you. I hear you. What's that? How you doing, buddy? What's going on? Welcome to the Yankee swap. You can hear us through the mics. You can hear us through the mics. Yeah. You can hear us, right? Yes, I hear you guys. Yeah, it goes to the mics. How you doing? What do you want for Christmas this year? What's your name? Where you from? And do you know how Chubby Kelly for Stuka has gotten? I have not seen it yet. All right. Where you what nationality are you sound a little different? We're dealing

from Columbia, but I mean, what's Palm Beach for? West Palm Beach. Nice little town. Oh, man. I hope you can. Bobby, can you stop doing this annoying nice guy radio thing. Hey, what's going on? Hey, collar? What's going on? What's your place for the holiday season? Come on and tell us that Columbia. Oh boy. Lot of yacht there That fucking sucks Bobby Jesus Christ. What's up, ass face? What do you want? Put your wife in the phone. We want to sexually assault their voice her ears. Uh-huh. What I want for Christmas is to see you guys down here

at the end problem, what it is, baby. Oh, well, you know, he wants to see us down at the end problem down in Fort Loderdown. Is that that's what you want for Christmas? I would like to see you. It's gonna be very difficult. Christmas is five days away. And it doesn't really yet. You usually get booked like at least six months out. I don't mean to take you behind It's gonna be very difficult. Christmas is five days away, and it doesn't really yet.

You usually get booked like at least six months out. I don't mean to take you behind the curtain on how bookings work, but it's usually a three-star program. Maybe a Christmas show next Christmas. If you really, if you got a bunch more people from there to call and make that, they're Christmas gonna show. Yeah, I don't want to just mock this guy. I really appreciate that you care about our comedy

that you reached out, and I'll talk to my agent and see if I can't get down there. Thank you, sir, for the call. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. That you reached out and I'll talk to my agent and see if I can't get down there. Thank you sir for the call We your agent or your agent. Oh, I hope they don't book you cuz I see a lad of Merry Christmas buddy See you later fuck face Why are you guys mean? Why you get a calm fuck face? This is why you have 25 thumbs down. It's why you know we do We have 25 thumbs he on his video you have 25 thumbs down Thumbs up 5 thumbs he on his video video you have 25 thumbs down But that's 26 thumbs up. It's a fucking fuck with thumbs down that

Yeah, Luis is at home fucking light it up 25 computers starting and a different Gmail That's my fucking intro. It's got damn Puerto Rican Takes a fucking bit off a podcast and does it. I'd say the funniest tweet after the Louise devil which I you know is Podcast and does it I tell you the funniest tweet after the Louise devil which I you know is Now all right now that I'm the funniest Louis and comedy I Hope I can live up to the responsibility of some shit like that. That was funny. Thank you. Good one All right, well, let's do this Joe lead us in this all right Those you not familiar Gabby who's been on the show for three weeks. And Mike too. Well Mike has listened to the show religiously since 1998.

Big fan. And Zach. Oh yeah, Zach, hey Zach. I don't like the way Zach looks at me. I don't like the way Zach looks at me, I think he hates me. He can't aggressive thing about him. It's not aggressive, I think he's got the like,

he's behind a monitor. You, you do. Yeah, I did. I don't know. Zach is just quiet, man you do yeah, I did Yeah, that is just quiet man I know I like it a little too quiet. Oh, a phone's ringing Frank holer. Oh, that wasn't me. That wasn't me. Gabby. Please do the phones right next time I'm doing I just might to do it. Yeah, but how does he do it? and ask Mike to do it. Yeah, but how does he do it?

Same with you. I think it up. I think it up. Okay. Can do they have any surgery that changes your voice? Yeah, I think it might be. You can get that done. You would be nearly perfect if it just wasn't

for your fucking voice. Little leaky, no. Hi, cut. Hello, you're on the YKWD, where you from, what's your name, what do you want for Christmas? Yo, I think my name's yo. Kelly is fat. What? yk wd where you from what you name what do you want for christmas yo uh... you named joe fat

and uh... uh... i'm from new jersey and i'm an idiot but i think Kelly fat and that's funny now okay and i love it what the fuck is wrong with you i'm actually did that uh... dna test i'm very African so should the fuck up don't you can't just say that nigga. Yes, I can stop saying it nigga Yeah, I'm in the chip army and I'm gay Yo, peace faggot nigga

Loser double down on you. I don't give a shit down double down. That was a double down That was four double down. Also. I was raped when I was a baby, so I can make rap. You were not raped when you were not raped. Yes, I was. Who raped a baby? I'm not talking about it. I don't feel comfortable talking about it. Nobody, do you see this rap?

That was raped when I was a baby. You should not joke about baby. Am I joking? You were not raped. How do you know? Was raped, because I had a problem. Well, you were, you a robot. I had a memory.

Give me that bomb, Dana. Can I have the bomb, Dana, Dana? I wanna hear about Lewis's baby right. Yeah. We'll get back to this right. Hold on. Lewis, keep going. You're almost somewhere.

Where were you? It was a Puerto Rican rattle rape. Oh, there it is. The guy's good. Well, rattle is something to associate with a baby. I feel like that might have been better than people were realizing in the moment. You stopped telling us how much to like your shit.

Well, I just feel like I'm getting a bad rap over here because you're blaming me on this fucking serial Asian bit that is not even me and then I got nothing on the Lewis pilot thing and that was pretty good that a sprinter Shit that was a point that was that was you laughing at something that's gonna be a best of episode Best of what way do you see the comments people gonna be like this I was dying during the bathtub thing They go as for sure. Oh my god. Who I was doing the agent thing is great. You gotta say I said you no No, I'm saying they're gonna like that. I don't know what happened when you're what are you doing?

It's ding dong. I let's play this game. Yes. Go all right. It's called purple rose a Cairo What's it called? That's a movie by Woody Allen purple rose a chiro That's a movie by Woody Allen Mahero Oh shit hell yeah, he hires in house I was just gonna keep pranking us Oh Oh

Dude all I do is fuck Asian young plus coped in love it dog This podcast great you turn away for a second there's a whole bit happening. I missed the whole thing Yeah, he did This is like ¡Tog! ¡Tú, por favor, por un segundo! ¡Tú, por favor, me lo hago! ¡Sí, he hecho! ¡Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Yeah, that's the one that's coming from inside the building.

It was Liz. We're really catching rhythm, you know, I think I feel like these four. Let's get, well, shut the phone off. Can you shut it off? Yeah, he'll shut it off. All right. So, whoever that was, there you go. You ruined it for everybody.

You ruined Christmas. I hope your mother gets into a car accident. Whoa. Hey, I do. What if it was ironically your mom who got into a car accident who was calling you for help? Wow. Wow, you're stoned.

Wow. How do you put that to that? Hey, this is just me being cooked in. This might just be me being cooked in. What I feel you do. I'm exactly like character development. I think we turn this into a fucking franchise. Three picture deal. All right, your rose is the thing you enjoyed most in the year. That's your year highlight. Your thorn, year low light, your seed. What happened this year that's making you look forward to next year? Yeah. Mike, you go first because people care about you the least.

Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably.

Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably.�. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably. Probably.�.ably.ably.ably.�.ably.ably.ably. Rose moving here you moved here. Yeah, if you don't know Mike Living San Antonio swaras. Swarez Michael Suarez moved here from San Antonio's killer act Book him on your show. He said this is your job. I'll take over He is significantly better at comedy than you are Significantly better at comedy than you are

Significantly Like not close. Wow you guys I'm not judging to sing you I'm saying this guy's a real deal He's unbelievable. I think you're great. Why are you working the ones in two for this pack? Because no one knows who I'm gonna call me a fat Fat I know what it is dummy and you made a mistake your pot head you lucked out on that one Wait if that was a mistake and you fixed it by saying, fact, that's pretty brilliant. That's pretty good. I caught it and I let him get it and Dan's

putting it together for me. Like everybody else does. Oh you knew I was gonna catch it. You knew I was gonna catch it and say, we caught it for you which makes it. Well that should be a term now. Fact, there's a lot of facts around. Yeah, let's stick to the facts.

Let's stick to the facts. I just said it. Right it down, that's the best fucking name so far of the show, stick to the facts. Let's stick to the facts. I just said that. Right it down. That's the best fucking name so far of the show. Stick to the facts. And maybe pull up the pilot from Star Wars. I think we could push it. Tak pao. The phone is ringing off the hook.

I tried again. The phone is ringing off the hook. Hey, what's up? Hello? I think you guys are fucking up. What's up? Turn it off now. Oh, you can't hear it.

We left the ringer on. It's so fine. Yeah, it's through the most inconvenient part of this. We turned off the ability to talk, but left the fuck ringer on. Hey, guys, if we could just have that ring constantly and then not have a way to talk to it. Yeah, you can see the number two. So right down the number so you'll never take the phone call

from there again. Oh, I like your phone. And then we'll hunt them down and call the FBI. I think you're real. You have one shot. Call Vinnie from the FBI. He's going to actually find their number and then report their work. Tell them that they're not working during.

All right. So Mike, you moved here. That's exciting. If you're listening folks, get this guy in your show for Gus. He's a great comic. He's a great comic. I'm trying to help out the young comics of the day. Yeah, you've never ever fucking done this much for me.

You piece of shit. Are you kidding me? I've done nothing. You've done nothing. Nothing ever. Ever. Name one thing ever that you've ever done for me ever nice. Show go.

Been a guest on your show many times and brought the heat and showed up one hour before you got there. You brought the sheet. You mean you showed up on your... You mean you showed up on time? Yeah, I showed up a little bit early. I've also... Shots. I don't know, I thought I saw you dancing the night away at my wedding, where you ate for free, I assume.

Oh wait, but that's, that was okay, the food could have been better. Food, no, I'll tell you this, food could have been better, but the appetizers, kind of leading up, that little thing they had first place. We could have done all that at a, Apple beans. Apple beans, usually. We could have gotten a bunch of comments together

had an Apple beans. I haven't found out we'd be of punch a comment together, had an Apple beans. And we haven't found out we'd be in serious now. What's going on? Is it serious today? Is it fucking be mean day? Is it the fuck? Okay. Joe, I enjoyed your Apple beans appetizers at your wedding.

He wished it was the Apple beans. If you had an Apple beans quality food of that wedding, I would have fucking enjoyed it. I like the food. Probably like telling food. Maybe remember this conversation. Hey Lou, you know what? Bring your girlfriend that I don't even know and you probably won't be together longer than six months.

Oh, you're welcome to bring her. I'll be having a buy her dinner and alcohol for the night. And then I said, hey, you know that's cool, Joe, but it's kind of weird that there would even be a debate that we could bring a plus one to a wedding. It's a wedding. That's what everyone does. Can I get on the phone too?

Guys, hey, it's me. What are you guys doing? Hey, you guys got any blow? Guys, hey, Joe, you sure I can't bring my kids to the wedding because I think there's other kids. Bobby, Bobby, you didn't know. Bobby, I'm trying to get on the line about Coke. Look, Joe, it's fine.

I won't bring a guest if you don't really want me to, but it's kind of weird that you would even make it a thing. Guys, can I bring a girl that's gonna break up with me two weeks from now? She's hot, though. I guess we can go upstairs. She was hot girl that's gonna break up with me two weeks We're she's hot though. I love we get a little Serenade. Yeah, she was a she's gonna suck everyone's like the wedding. That's not true. She didn't do that She's not everybody but not everybody but a bunch of dudes though Like what's your Thor would you say?

Your Thor This year my dog has two two words on his eye. What a charmed life you live. Wow. What is that? One eye or both of each eye. We both be as these little gross that we can't get looked at. Wow. More like little gross. Yeah. Well, you burn them off. What? Just burn them. Our blind dogs are hilarious. We're going to play a parenthood. They can do it for free. Do you ever see a blind dog? There's fucking a lot of things. Tell you what you're what you what's the last thing? We're looking forward to you. No dogs don't need to be able to see. They get unbelievable And then the next thing is that so what's your last speed? What do you look at for it?

So you know, dogs don't need to be able to see, they get unbelievable smell. Oh, that's right. I just don't want them to die. That's a long car. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah. I say this, but he's aging at seven years of human.

So it's gonna die sooner or later, dude. But what, I mean, that's not just coke, man. How old was your dog? When we've been, he got abandoned on April that he was four apparently. Oh, how old was that? Three years ago. You got a dog from Mexico? No, he's an American dog. Uh, when we've been, he got abandoned on April that he was four apparently. Oh, life. You got a dog from Mexico? No, he's an American dog. Yes, paper. Which one? She was an American dog. You know, he's a little, he's a little big.

Okay, that's good. All right. He's been going on homes. My eyes were all fucked up. They say against him. My eyes man. They mean bug to me. Go at least the cartels. Kill me. Give me a soldier's death man. Somebody fucking kill me Man dying. How does Dan do a better Mexican accent than you? What is the next thing guy cook down some happy bad Fuck it. I hate voices. I got a piss again. Are you kidding me? No, I don't I can't say the hospital. I could be then you that's weird dude. What's your seed dog? I'm looking forward to working on the show and making it better than Come on

Good Spick in a good see how's James and Max? I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. I thought you're a fucking kid of birthday gift. That went away to the Harlem. I brought him a gift, a book, and a thing. I mean, that's not you. But what was the birthday? Because I have a birthday on the 29th. I wasn't. Yeah, we're the same birthday. We're never birthday party for him in January. You're a baby, my sobriety. Same. But we don't want to deal with between. I don't have it at my house in the backyard.

Also, we just rented a place. Fuck. What place? I should have done it. One of these fucking stupid kids, I don't wanna tell the fans when we can have it a birthday. Oh, okay. Also, how about this? Every time we went to brunch, you did some fucking cock me idea

where you get half price cocktails, made me order a cocktail, battling sobriety, and have it sit in front of me while you finish your first one. Yeah, why wouldn't I get a cocktail? I'll pay for your oranges for $2. I get my cocktail for the fucking

that would be normally $8. Struggling to stay so that I got a quarter of it, hold it and have it in front of me even for 10 to sip it. Pretend to sip it, I gotta put it to my lips so we can save a buck and a half to 15. My seed is jolless smell. Hey, I didn't know, can't do you see it yet. What is it, my smell?

Let's go. Let's keep this moving a lot. All right, what is it my smell? Let's go. Let's keep this moving all right What's what's the what's our tits? Gabby actually what's our no tits? Sorry. Oh, sorry That's my thorn that was my thorn that moment Well my friend was sexually harassed in front of many people I'm sorry. I'm sorry Gabby. Go ahead. What is it? One of the things again rose Your favorite your moment. Yeah, Thorn your ee. Oh

worst moment seed Bursting into next year okay My roses when snuffy came to the fun. That's a mystery What I realized I wasn't a puppet. I was a real person Guys neither one of those was Gabby. You could tell. Joe's the only one who sticks up for me. Thank you.

Well, I care about women. Joe's a beta faggot. Well, he's a real soft boy. He's coming after me the soft boy. He's trying to pony up and think that we're the same and then he's going to try to hit on me. I have a wife if you remember. Well, that doesn't mean anything to those soft boys.

Just a soft boy. You're just gonna tattoo in your neck, come soft boy. Oh, shit. Yeah, we go ahead. Sorry about these boys. Okay, okay. What's your rose? He's hard boys.

Frozen's working for the show, having a lot of fun. That's your highlight of your year. That's not that. What's your role here? What an awfully year. What a year. She's having a fun time. Leave her alone. Yeah. There she is. It's a good time. Put your I guess. She's fucking Italian. She's Jewish. She's much better.

She's much better. Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada headphone. Yeah, turn your headphone. My breath's low. No, it's so low. How's that? Is that better? Lower. Lower. How's that better? Is that better? No. Is that better? Number two. Oh, number two. Is that better? Yes, thank you.

That's better, okay. Okay. The headphones are on. Pull your headphones on. So you can hear yourself. I have hair that I care about. Shut up. It's green.

No, it's like, bro. Yeah, looks like it's running away from us. Yeah, it really does. You have Don Notz hair. It's too bald, dude. Dude, you're cool. You're it looks like it's running away from us. Yeah, it really does. You have Don not too. It's too Baldin's day. You're cool. You're good. So he stepped on my Don not's line. Yeah, it wasn't. You know, that was a good one. I don't know. Don we thought you said donuts. You have Don no hair. I thought I thought both of those were great. Thank you. Who is this laughing? Take that. That's a bomb. I just a guy that has a piss again. That's he said Don not and I thought we thought you said Thank you

That's a piss again that's We thought you said donuts Always funny when the guy has to sit here and sell it for five minutes after the fucking joke Go pee go pee Dan I'm gonna hold it a little bit Why I love him as much as my I'm gonna hold it a little bit longer. Why? I gotta keep gotta be because he did drugs last night's guy Kidney's a too loud. Where are you loud? I'll turn you down You said louder turn them on down. I'll turn them on down. Can we keep less metal music while we do the show?

Yes, is that better? Yeah, okay? Gabby what else you got? Yeah, her rose is working on the show. Rose is working on the show. Yeah, I love working for the show, having a lot of fun. Askiss her. All right, watch your tone. I won't shut up. Thank you. Stick up for yourself, Gabby. Yes, yeah, yeah. I'm glad he fucks with every woman in that chair.

He doesn't bother me. Oh, stop. Don't do that. She loves me. What's your thorn? Um, what's my thorn? In Exodus. Yeah, I don't like that.

Yeah, stop. What are you doing? Are you fucking, were you stopped? What is happening? What you're, what you're, what you're seed? I'm really your thorn, you fucking asshole. No, my thorn, what you're thorn? My dad had surgery this year, but he's doing great, so.

Okay, that was a thorn. That's a thorn. You got to pussy now, nice. Yeah. Yeah, that's not that bad. That's a thorn. You got to pussy now. Nice. Yeah. You're way and that's not that bad. It's pretty cool. Oh boy. Whatever.

It's 2017. That's why I want your dad's pussy. That's what I would do. Write that down for a title. I'm kidding. I'm not. That's good. Listen, Gap, what is your seed?

I filmed a couple movies this year and they're coming out next year. I'm not funny. Why, that's good. Listen, Gap, what is your seat? I filmed a couple movies this year and they're coming out next year and I'm really excited. That's all. That's all. A Dan Fogelman film. That's right. The guy from... That's the guy from Creedence Clearwater Revival. I don't know.

Here's a ball of feeling. Oh yeah. No, no, the director. Oh wait. Yeah, what else? And then a short film that I filmed in Ecuador. And that's gonna be hot. Yeah. porn nice. They're both porn. Ecuadorian porn. Fucking nice. Her dad's at it. It's a milk. No training porn in Ecuador. All right, we gotta speed this up.

It's a milk no for any point in that We're gonna speed this up. Let's go We gotta just in the game. It's fine. What? What it's Gabby's dad mom I mean, I mean, yeah, let's get to it. Let's go We have to do more in the good show. Why do you need to speed it up? Where do you have to go? I know there's scenes and thorns and my way which would, which is, which, Lewis, what is it? Which one is my thing? What's your rose?

My rose? Can we shut that fucking phone off of it? Yeah, it sounds like a goddamn telemarketing. I don't hear anything. I don't know, don't fucking whisper at me. You can call a telemarker. Go tell, we'll go over there and tell them. Unplug the phone.

Doesn't that seem like the easiest thing? Oh, Liz coming in here, fucking solving problems. Wow. Jew spirit. She is a tell. I am getting. Jew spirit. She is a Tom. I am getting fuck yeah. That is 100% Diego what what is your what is your rose? My rose this year. Um,

that Louis video obviously. Yeah, easily. That's a seed and his rose and it's thorn. God, what is that make you so much? Stop staring people you fucking angry? I'm not afraid of you anymore bro Yeah, dude, dude coming at you. What what you coming at him? I just want to let everyone know that co-cans not gonna let anyone come at no one so Cuz I'm fucking ready to go. All right, you fucking pot heads. I know we're gonna be first I thought we're doing all the fucking interns first. Just go.

By the way, you're third. You're going your third. Oh, that's a solve. That is a solve. I have it on camera if you need the video for the court. Go ahead, come on, you're reacon. Okay. I think my rose, is this for this past year?

Oh, you're the one. Yes, the year 2015. Why would he? Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm mad now. I'm all geeked. All right. I'm going to cook Dan.

Coked in, settle down. Oh, dude, I want to fuck it. Guys, just stick our shirts off and I'll fuck. What? Yeah, it's Coked Dan. He's booked for sexual and regular data. Yeah, I think what's going on. It's a different.

He's got to get it. Good. All right. What's going on with the things the things we've done with cast digital this year the studio space that we You know cross our fingers are officially closing on today. I announced that against closing No, well, we signed a lease on a studio space. You want to fucking put a picture out on a lease that never gonna happen? What a moron it was a good dude. It's today. I'm so pretty We signed a lease We signed the lease. We signed the lease. I'm not on the old one.

Gone. Here we did. You didn't even do the same place. We signed the lease. A lease. Not the lease that you tweeted out. Now pull out. No, we had a pull out of the fucking deal.

Of course she did. Pull out of his your seed. No. I want your rose. I mean, what's your thorn? Uh, my thorn. Pfft. I'm listening.'s your thorn? My thorn I'm listening what's up, bro? You doing you doing fully work now that I could be so nice right now. I want a regular coach. Why can't it be so good?

Can we can we get that stuff? Can we send them down to the bar? Can they go down there and get die coach? No, I want a can of coke. It's fountain. Yeah, I don't want to like fountain. I know We're gonna send we're gonna send one of you guys out for coax Yeah, you are a bar bottle of waters. What's up? Yeah, somebody what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Dan with a gallon of water? I need a passifier and fucking two die coke die coke regular coke red can with Santa on it, please I know I want a die coke Diner could you some sugar in you want a gatorade? Oh, I love a catering color. What color blue? Yeah blue catering

I got to be a coke with a polar bear on it What's that? Everybody you know much of a p after a drink a day to rain shut the fuck up Well like Fagarrade Instead of gay hey not in this climate. Sorry. Do you want to? No, just want to.

No, just want to. I want to pull the bear or say it on it. It's going to be a holiday Coke. Oh, one of you guys, which one? I'm going to get a glacier frost. Oh, it's a scratch ticket. Do you want a can or a bottle? A can, yeah, a can.

Two hands. Two liter. Bobby wants a die Coke too. Listen, die Coke. Three for it. Listen, shut up. Three die C coaks run where you'll a coke and Blue gatorade. I'm doing blue gatorade blue gatorade and whatever you guys want. I Want to die coke. Oh right. You take care. I can't pay attention. They want to blue gatorade

He blue gaze. I can't must you do it. You're doing it. I want it. I want I'm gonna go out of my way to give him the bomb there Are you are you fucking doing this four weeks into this job? You be in a fucking asshole? She is an angel Look at her hair. She is really different voice. Why are you doing it because you do it? That's who does it? Oh, we're still on this. Yeah, you do it go Talks back. I love that she gives it back to me back to let me tell you something I'm fucking replace that blonde broad and fucking two seconds. No, you will not Gabby I'm here for you. So I don't care about kind people say it as you'll be bare now Let's go now all right back to Lewis. What is my thing now?

Thorne? That chair fucking tape. My Thorne, the thing that's bugging me the most this year, the thing that's been painted my ass. It's fucking studio. What? No, the app. My app. Your app? My app. What's your app? For gas digital. My app. It's fucking Thorne my ass. Who has an app? You do. We do. And you do too. But he has a fucking app that glips in. I have an app. Actually, we do laughable. Yeah, but that's not your app.

That's a great app. You just use it. It's a great app. It is really good. It is a great app. They're good. I love it. We just talked about laughable.

And my comedy too. Like, it's good for regular podcasts as well. I like it. What's your seed regular podcasts as well. I like what's your seed? Oh God. Can we all over Joe's face? Yeah, my glasses. I love that. Come. I think I would like come on my face to be honest. Do you think you would fight?

Why? Like a moisturizer? I guess it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not moisturized. Come on. Is that your seed? What's your seed? No, no, my seed.

This is the worst. I thought it was this here. It sucks, dude. Well Joe wants to fuck you. I said speed it up. You go, dude, we got no time limit. So I say good. Fine. My seed is fucking Buggers. No No, Kim. My dad being dead for 20 years. My seed Billion season three coming out. I'm a lot of great. I rose Wedding even know a couple people brought dates that I didn't care for

Oh, don't you talk about the girl that broke up with me that everyone liked or you're talking about everyone Briggs pays sweatings nobody judges who they I feel like don could have been a little funner to be honest More fun Wedding rose baby. I mean that was a that was a party, huh best party ever wouldn't you say? And I had to fight Sarah to invite you. I mean I we battled And beg the rest of us to come once you invited yeah, I was hurt my might see my thorn when you implied that you I asked Louis CK and Colin Quinn to do my wedding when I didn't I yeah you were number one You think I want that guy he wouldn't even ask permission. He would just show

Joe playing it right you asked Paul and he said no I did not ask call me. Yeah, he didn't even come to the wedding. He told me he couldn't come. I did not ask him. I did not ask him. I Didn't ask him. I was third. I was third. I was third. You went there. You were first. Third. I had to fight Sarah on that one too But I fight for her. For a second is the best. Thurt is the moment the heritage. I Think third is a nerd. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, dude. There's a worst game. Rose, my mother.

Open up your bagel shop. She's not just here. Tell me, my mother will live a transplant and live. Nice. That's a good rose. Good rose. Lever is delicious. She'd be dead.

It was your thorn that you had to give her a liver. No, I couldn't. I tried. Thorn was all the stress that you asked for. Give me. And seed, especially seed probably seller Vegas. Yeah. Bobby, what's your way? We get Zach for us. Zach, I miss you behind the monitor.

He gets to answer. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Go. Was working at this awesome show. Yeah. That's all suck. Thank you. Fuck you guys. You guys is fucking fine. No, it's not. This flight attendant fucking mentality of I like to serve people. Yeah All suck thank you fuck you guys is fucking

Not this flight attendant fucking mentality of I like to serve people in the sky No, it's a job really trying to fucking have a good time here. Yeah, I know bro I finally got a good throat now. She's all fucked up I have to go I tell you this she gives me she comes back with a blue gatorade It's gatorade for us. I'm gonna get down on one knee and marry that woman buddy No, you will not she lit I said go Can you go I literally blue gatorade excuse me? I said go get everybody drink. She goes why do I have to do it? I love it That's your job stand up for yourself. What the fuck What would you do? She's entitled it. She's entitled you just think she had a movie coming out movie sucks But you know what I'll tell you that right now. She filled in Guatemala.

God only knows the reason. I sure want a mon on film. I promise you. I could have. How about this? How about this? Just look at Mike and go. You do it, Chubby.

It's your job. What am I supposed to do it? Am I supposed to leave and go get fucking drinks for everybody? No, Mike's the funniest comment on the planet. Yeah, I can't do that. Joe list says he's the next one. He's taking four years to me. According to Joe list, Lewis G. Joe list says he's the next He's the next guy for Joe no idea than me according to Joe list Lewis J. Gomez and shit but fucking Mike from fucking

No, I said your great no, you're a fucking piece of shit. You're great. He's better Good dirt Fucking stick you're great. I'm saying you're great Joe's okay. Okay. He's got funny Shut up 20 years coke dan shut the fuck up bring up things to I'm fucking these ideas and I'm fucking spin abs just firing I'm just saying Joe's been funny 20 years So maps are firing. I'm just saying Joe's been funny 20 years. Yeah, just watch it though.

Oh my thorn. So Rose is I love the show. My thorn is actually like a couple of weeks ago that time square thing happened. Yeah. And my sister was there. So that would be my thorn. What do you mean? The Bengali kid that didn't blow up the pipe bomb.

Yeah. Did she get hurt? No, but she was like evacuating and stuff. And it was just kind of scary. That's your thorn. Yeah. That's the worst thing that happened your year. She could have died. You're your year.

She could have died. She could have been at a fucking year. We all could have died. Not you. You're not on the fucking eight. There's seven, 30. And I was right. There's a baby. I want to change my

thought. I almost walked into the showroom while Lewis was on stage. I was this close. What's your seat? My seat is a all for just to see the show. What's your seat? My seat is a Concentration. Oh, I'm gonna see the show. What? My seat is continuing with the show.

Two of your fucking Rosie thorns or why can't I be the Related? I'm gonna tell you one of the motherfuckers are gonna stab you in the back, Bobby. Yeah, do you think I'm for that? So nice. Well, one just did it

in front of everybody and you stuck up for because she is an angel. She's a little bit over there. I gotta stop getting hot chicks in that fucking seat. That's the problem. There's been one Yeah, yeah, one hot chick ever in that time girl. All right. I forgot long was here. That's a dream Kelly was hot for like two seconds. No, she was sweating Right, everyone wants to hear yours. These are big. Bobby. Thorne is Thorne Maxx again.

Lewis is fucking. Well, just remember from last year, it was crazy. It was not my Thorne last year. I got this one. That's what you said. He was, he was, he was, He was having this dumb kid running around all the time.

He said, and I quote. I'm going to be said to. Bobby here, here, here, Bob. No, that's TARD. I'm quoting you. I'm going to hit you with Lewis dick. Oh, that's a dick. He's put this in his mouth. That's not small. This has it. Lewis is saliva on it. That thing came. Bobby also let me say is him. Bobby asked me he was like, dude, you give a shit if we put out that fucking video thing. Because I

asked when I was auditioning for last comic setting they asked me to take that shit to the fuck. They asked me to use make coke dance. I'll do it. I need a couple of key bumps in the bathroom if I'm gonna stay up with the story. They asked me to take down anything that's like sexually related whatever it's all like dude. You got that video of me. Fingue sucking your deck.

You got to take it down. And then he asked me to put it back up. I figured I'd put the podcast back up. Like who gives a shit? It's years later. I put the podcast back. No, you didn't put just the podcast back up. You should go a clip at a context of just me sucking your fucking dick on stage.

It looks real. It's not that who did your fucking shitty fucking set. Fuck you Mike. Don't fucking video taking one bitch about something. You're not better than me motherfucker. Hi, he's really good. I mean, this was doing the intro. Mike is so much better.

Rosie and Joe are job. I'm glad we got the buzzer. It's the second time I've done that. Well, listen, Mike did we just put the clip of him up? No, that's, we put the whole thing behind the paywall for those fans. They wanted it. But would you just put a clip of me sucking your dick up too?

Hey guys, go. Go entice them. Go watch that. I didn't do that click we didn't do that that somebody else Yeah, I didn't do that. Yeah, somebody took it from behind the paywall and did it I would someone else put it on red tube. I don't know who it was could be me could not be me. I Did not yeah Thank you Gabby. I appreciate I was one like at the door for you no big deal Gabby I just want to say I was just up here defending your honor. Yeah, everyone's trying to get you fired from the show.

The man who No, Listen, we'll go full pierced her honor. All right, here we go. There's that She's throwing it across the Little fucking attitude now. Gabby, do you have an attitude? Huh? What you fucking attitude?

All right, all right, all right. What's your attitude? All right, wait, fuck me. Let me ask you a question, Gabby. If you, if you aren't gonna do it, am I supposed to go get the drinks? No, I'll do it every time. But why was Mike doing, you think Mike should do it, right?

No, I should do it. Who should do it? Mike, Mike should do it. Mike, because I gotta do it. Oh, she's furious. Don't pee. Is this the first thing? It's the first time.

It's the first thing. You know what I said? We're in a relationship and the first time you have a little spat You're like out here. We got because you know it's gonna go down for a little bit. It's over. It's over It's once a day. Now it's once a month. There's a little spat now once every two weeks Yeah, that's it once a week once a day every time she's done that's it and I'm the last one to get my drink You by the way, you know, I'm marrying her. Right. Yep. I take it to Gatorade bottle, which is pretty big. That's damn funny. Pretty big bottle.

No Santa Claus, no polar bear. But you have New York rangers. Oh no. You go to a different place than Gabby. I'm not gonna get stuck. You're stuck. I'm not gonna get stuck. You're stuck.

You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. You're stuck. Just in case, just in case, it's not good enough, fighting, getting enough for you. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's sarcastic.

Wow. Like, we can't see you through a horse shit right now. Yeah, I see. Gabby, I'm very appreciative of my lukewarm coke. Yeah. Come on, Gabby, get it out. Who do you think should get the things? When you said, well, no, no, no, you said,

why do I have to get it? I was paying Jazzy, this is a comedy podcast. Yeah. Oh, you don't is a comedy podcast. Yeah. Oh, you don't know comedy, bitch. Yeah. No, he does it. You don't know comedy, buddy. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He's a fan of heck. Wow. All right, what's your give me a business? Yes. We're gonna wait for Dan. No, it's fine, guys. He's doing well. Look at him here.

We're very loud. We'll tell Dan. He brought his cans in there. He brought his cans into the cans. LOL, hashtag. There he is. Here he is. Whoa. Is that a boss?

Didn't part of the response? Yeah. Dan got his drink exactly. Joe, they didn't have the polar bear one for Joe. Gabby has a respect for Bobby. She has no respect. I don't know. Gabby, I'm a spokesperson. They don't do the small Kansas.

No, it's you're going to defend her about when I say go get this. No, I'm not going to defend her about when I say go get no, I'm not gonna defend her about that at all. I'm just saying at 7 11, they only have the fun everybody. Yeah, she was 100% wrong. She was 100% wrong. Yeah, it's like it was a joke. Like, what's not funny? Yeah.

I got fucking I got the all these these guys yelling at me. We want drinks. Yeah, they could have brought their first off. Whatever. I thought that was this is me just being coaked up and telling you guys kind of what I'm feeling right now. And that is I only asked for a drink when everyone else was getting a drink. So I don't think I should be in trouble for this.

Thank you. I started a drink per gait and I stand by it. You're not the only one who's coaked up. We're, let's get to the gifts. Well, here's the problem. Okay, Bob, it's not to the gifts. Here's a problem. Okay, Bob, it's not my problem because, yes, I brought up the fact that there's no coax and there's no drinks here. No, you said what happened to the show YKWD.

Yes. There's be beers, Joe and I have written doggy. They used to be in the fridge. Nobody comes to get them. What else happened? There's three employees here. There's three employees here. They all, they all just said in the roast these

all their highlight was working for the show. They can't wait until next year to make this show ground. What the? At first he guessed. Exactly. Well checked upon to the next one is the show.

Except when the host of the show goes, hey, can you go and that why? She goes, she goes, do you think I'm gonna take orders from a guy wearing fucking Christmas slices in necklace I shot a fucking film and on Dores I was in Oh

That's that's better. Yeah, Joe come on Sorry, I drink soda I paid for it Fair enough She's the kid but I had to walk to the fucking store to get it. What the fuck happened? Robert what is your rose? Yes, the one. I think we know my fucking thorn is. My fucking thorn is around 5'8."

She says, why does the fucking snow? Oh yeah. Are you 5'8? Turn into Ralph Cramden. Gross. You're that tall. I'm very tall. You.

That's disgusting. I think it's okay. I mean, you're pretty. I think it's okay. I mean, you're good for you. You're a damn good dad. I'm good. Tall people got to stick to you and your dad's in there with vaginas all tall.

The tall, the woman, the big of the vagina. That's not true. Can I have that number? All right. I think that is a fact. What were you going for? I know, that's a fact. If a woman's tall, the vagina's huge.

You're a fact. Dude,'s tall the vagina's huge your effect Dude you got the joke back Wow Lewis you were home free all right listen, you're home My Rose my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I Think the thing is it didn't make sense at all Yeah, just got a really good freedom in being a shitty comic right cuz you can just bomb yeah, you don't have anything That's scheduled I'm not saying you I'm saying a shitty comic Why are those many bits of Mike I'll be at the punchline in January second through the fourth which one? Fourth of the six jesus San Francisco. I'm all jacked upon but yeah Yeah through the fourth, fourth or the sixth, Jesus San Francisco, I'm all jacked upon, but yeah, I can't. Yeah, I can't.

I have yack. Nickelodeon yack. It's yack. Yeah, cocaine. Robbin, I'm afraid we went out of time for your love. My rose is right now is my family. I'm really enjoying being a dad and a husband too. I'm really enjoying having the whole package.

That's sweet. I really do like being home. The life I created, I like. Yeah. So, which I, I can't always say, I've, you know what I mean? I'm sure I'm mixed mine up. I did that other year, so that's why I didn't do that. But good.

You know, I actually have a full home. Yeah, well mine's broken. Well, I, exactly. My son has two homes. You only give your son one. Yeah, you have two homes, right? Right. You have to get to an escape board. I have, I have a whole phone with two, whole home with two cars and a wife. Yeah. Um, that's there all the time. Um, every day, um, put some sleep at night. Um, anyways, we have dinner together. Anyway, I said three of them.

His family. There you go. Lewis has dinner with his son. He makes you order his drinks. We can get two for one Yeah, pretty good put the drink in front of his son so you can get it on that. All right go. Do you think come on? Thorn You all right thorn. Yeah, yeah is fucking that chair That chair. yeah, we got a heavy. No, not Gabby. That's the chair. Not Gabby.

That that it is. Fucking job. That chair seems to be a, I, it's a thorn. Oh, dude, not that chair. That chair. She should trade, you should trade chairs. Yeah, if you just switch to people, I mean, it's not, yeah, I like, what if you put someone you loved in that chair in that chair like I'm not even kidding if I put Mike in that chair

He's gonna be it's it's something when you're not when you when you get on the show Something happens when you're not really mics over there. He's fucking hiding that chair with the fucking spotlight in it The comic thing or I don't wanna fuck you. Mm, over there. This, oh, that chair. My seed. Oh, that makes me sad. Is this chair?

It's my feelings too. My seed is this chair and that chair. Oh, he comes on the chairs. Nice. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I with you. My seat, my, my, my phone is not that. My phone is my sister. My sister's really suffering through this kidney. Roberta Kelly? No, Lisa Kelly.

She had a kidney transplant 16, 17 years ago. And I forgot all about it that it only lasts for 16, 17 years. You have to get a new one. And she needs a new one, but she's older now and you don't really get up at the top of the list, the older you are. And this is mom got the last one. So. L a new one, but she's older now. And you don't really get up at the top of the list, the older you are. And this is mom got the last one. So liver, not kidding. Yeah. Easier. Yeah. You get a little piece of somebody else. Yeah. She need the whole liver. Right. But it's easier. Kidney's tough to get. But liver liver's tough. But it's easier.

Liver doesn't take. Kidney's take easier. You know, tomato tomato. You know, I'm just saying. We live at somebody's dad, that I don't live at. So my, my, my thorn is actually that, my sister's very sick. And I feel bad for her because here I am, you know, traveling blah, blah, blah. And I always, oh, I'm fucking tired. I travel, Lou. And my sister has to go in and out of the hospital all the time

and dialysis. Dialysis three, four times a week in her fucking life. She had to move into it. I mean, she had to drop everything. She actually built a life back up again where she was going to school and the college was gonna be working a lot of She had to quit it all because she's so sick now. So we have to get her a kidney getting the kidneys a fucking

Why can't we do fans do we have a contest? I would love that too, but it's a process you have to go get You have to go get it, but it's a easy test, right? You have to get tested from would love to but it's a process you have to go get you have to go get to get tested. But it's a busy test right. You have to get tested from you can get and go to a mass general go to the kidney donor thing and tell them. What are they going to do to test you those like we get the SD test they put the thing in your deck. I don't do that anymore. I don't do that no more anyway. So that's my thorn. My you just referenced old technology. You should have like a thing for like a drive. If you if anyone has fucked Lewis in the past three for my old and i think a drive

if you if anyone has fucked Lewis in the past three years don't listen to this podcast because he just admitted that he got the old school fucking sd test

that's not true i don't think that you didn't even get dick i haven't done that in a while i didn't get dick look like it has the flu uh... who's a nightmare dude listen my

my my seed is this show. I mean, I haven't had a crew, honestly go out of gab, mic, Zach, I really haven't had a fucking crew that cares about the show as much as I do ever. I know I love, I love, listen, I love, go by love, Lauren killed it. And what's her name, Kelly? All those people really kicked ass from a show.

I can't say enough of them. But this crew, like, it's like, we're all on the same page. It's like, we're, and you can see from all the shit that's happening with the show. So all this stuff in the viewers, the videos gone up, the show's better, the guests are better. I mean, everybody's kind of doing their own little thing

and it makes it easier for me to come in here when you're part of this team that does do it. So, I mean, I fuck with Gabb or I fuck with Mike Azat. I don't really fuck with Azat because he's a psycho. Oh, Bobby, I'm a little yacked up on blow so if we can just get to the gifts, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's it. So, you could have made us a meeting

between you and your fucking kids. Well, I was waiting for somebody to jump in and say, that's why fucking coke dance here. You're welcome. All right, so they drink your water. All right, so here we go. Let's, we have, how many people do we have here? Did you bring a gift?

Did you bring a gift? Did you bring a gift? Did you bring a gift? Yes. I think there's eight of us, isn't there? There's eight. You got eight? Eight and nine.

Whoa, my gift is here. Your gift is here. Whoa. I was in a stripper again, but a dude this time. It's all in my be-older. You got eight and nine. Whoa, my gift is here. Your gift is here. Was it a stripper again, but a dude this time? It's a little bit be able to. God, what if he's like a naughty park ranger? We get to be yogi bear. Do I hope it's a guy to shoot Bobby then?

Why would you really hope that? You want us to all win this summer? Why would you say it? What did you say? It didn't hope you die. Wow. Wow. I hope you die, bro.

Wow, that's a terrible thing to say. I hope that if I do get shot, you replay that. Oh, yeah, over and over. Yeah, just what a piece of shit. Oh, man, I can't wait to play the gunman in the make of the movie. Like the movie made on it. Yeah, I'll put the gun was a big fan of Lewis and he's like, I'll do it. I'm a real ass dude. I'm gonna do it right now for Lewis for the for Lewis Jacob is We should draw numbers get off your phone. Oh my god. What I'm just making sure my kids alive What do you have a camera? No, I just check my emails and texts if I get anything from his mom I'm gonna make sure What is it if better be good? Hi It better be good I know Hi

Welcome, how are you? Come on in sit down Gabby give her a seat on the couch over there I see how you doing you know Dan. Yeah, no Mary Jane. Come on You're Mary Jane's a big butt porn star Big old fat ass love it Oh take him off What are you wearing shirts close more you got a microphone for her Big old fat ass love it What do you wear in church clothes? We got a microphone for her let me give her a microphone Michael. Hi darling. How are you? Why would you wear church clothes though?

Michael give her a microphone Christmas. No, not yours. We have a mic over there doesn't yeah We have a microphone. We didn't mean the person I hear an idiot We have a mic. We didn't mean the person. My mic. I'm not your idiot. That's my ass. Yeah. Oh, his mic is the couch, Molly? It's also tied to this tent's already. Hi, darling. Okay, we'll fucking hottie. Yeah, well, that is one of the gifts.

Whoa. You get the fuck, Marijane? Yeah, no. No, no. You don't get the fucking... I will fucking punch everyone in the head right now. I believe. What is you gonna do a... Blowjob.

No, no blowjob. I will think you're everybody gonna do a low job? No, no blow job. Everybody's asshole. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, great. My fucking past that one. Listen, you don't even everybody can meet these fingers eventually. Oh my god, can you cut the fingernail at least a little bit? No, I'm gonna have a 47 year old guy asshole, the skin's delicate. Somebody's catching something. My what? Gab ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Oh my god, I might just take my own gift shows over guys. This is your gift. This is my gift. Okay, right now You're gonna get a nice and job. It's not a good

Stop saying and jobs and blow it. Hey, so fuck over the pants. Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom one last time What the fuck? Stop damn Doctor whoa are you okay? You can pee in my mouth. It's okay Really? Yeah, I was like, what a good woman. What a good woman. You give me God. You let you let me pee in my mouth. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah right here. I'd let Dan pee in my mouth too. Yeah, I'm bad. He in Marigins mouth. And then save it for later when I get Thursday at night.

And you want popcorn? What a fucking animal. Oh my god. What the fuck? What are you saying? It's so high. Oh my God, what the fuck? What? What? How do you save it? I was so sad that it's so high up there. Are you really in the, are you really in the shit like that? Can you just take a dress off?

Yeah. All right, take it off. What a fuck. Mike, can you help her please? I love her. Mike Helper. Michael Helper. Somebody's gonna help her.

If I said it to her, she'd go, why don't you have to help her? I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have shut up. I have to help. I don't have any panties, but they're the cutest. They're like so holidays. No, it's okay. Oh my god. Please take everything.

Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here.

Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here.

Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Just keep down here. Boops why can't you show our boops yet not on YouTube? We gotta be a fan we have we can on YouTube Do we have we have tape? No, just pull the plug Just but no stop it shut up get away stop Pull the camera

Yes Pull the camera up her No, listen Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, shut up. You know, put a paper to it Stop we're just gonna put a just a little bit not a lot. You don't need to put tape on her Where you are all gay? Oh? She has to do is not be on camera cut the fucking you fucking you I'm gonna set the cameras up so she's not on Okay, we do that. I got me stuck in it. Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby

Use your Holder holder tips Gabby come room dance. I'm stealing my gift listen Wait, no she gets in there. Dan, Dan. Dan, that's awesome. She don't want to come over. Dan's a man. No, Dan's off. No, Dan.

No nipples. I just cover, cover, cover. Dan's fucking in the ass. It's crazy. I keep your hands over the nipples. Over the nipples. I'm kidding. Listen, did you take your bottom off?

This is the greatest gift ever. No, it's just like make hold of the gun. Can you take your bottoms off? This is the greatest gift ever Can you take your bottoms off? It's for it's a Christmas episode. All right. It's a Christmas episode. Take it I've seen men fuck you in the ass. Have you real my asshole still a virgin really me too me too Yeah, I'm kidding. Oh God. I killed a be in that club All right, okay, I've got a wedding ring on it All right, here we go put the things in the fault now you get a wrinkle them all Oh listen, so what is she what does she do though if she win her well? Well, it's she's gonna give you a lap dance a

Check out dick out. Listen you can do whatever you get to come you can do it. I do whatever you are What is this the 90's you get to come you can know you listen stop my mouth later. Oh my god She looked at me in the eyes and said that that's a problem. Okay, you can do whatever you want after the show I can't I can't even have a look so if we pick the eyes and said that. That's a problem. Okay, and you can do whatever you want after the show. I can't, I can't even, I don't know. Wait, so if we pick the number and get this gift, you can, we can come in her mouth. No, no, no, no, no, no,'re gonna have the numbers. We're gonna wrinkle them all up like this. You have a big dick. Who Dan does? Oh, you feel it? No, he doesn't. Oh, shit. What a, yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. Is it big? Yeah, it's big.

Dan, do you have a big one? Yeah, she's feeling it. Oh, she's an animal. I, what? What's going on? I love her. Dan. I've never had a lap dance like this. He didn't know what he looked like. You know what? I love her. You get it. You know what? I'm just going to say this. I have, I bought an alternative gift because I knew this was going to happen. That's my gift. You're stealing it.

I hit the music. Oh, are we good again? Yeah. Who's it? Okay. Now, what? Everybody picks a number. You want it?

Oh my god. Those are so cute. Those panties. Oh my god. Dan, this is a number. You want it? Oh my god. Those are so cute those panties. Oh my god Dan, this is my gift. You know what? I guess she's just on the show Yeah, why are you not recording any? Hey, can I watch them coming your mouth later? No, she's covering a nipple She covers the nipples with good right? I'm such a bad keeping nipples covered keep everything wait a minute keep your nipples Oh my god, oh can you do it with your pussy lips? No stop it Listen later, please coming out of this I don't know what's up. We're like labor then I watch you have sex with there

I mean listen then I'll think about coke dance got a different set of rules game I want to go back to the old days when this was just an audio show. What? This is audio. I know, but this video is everywhere here. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All say? And she's great. She is great. She's fantastic How does everybody know you where are you support star? Oh really? Everything I suck every she's a fuck oh You know what let's shut the cameras off and just fuck each other. Let's just fuck the shit out of her. Yeah

Wait, oh this word old flame. I stalk her well I Was he fucking date? Is he Oscar's tail the whole head? I love the hood of the eyes and I got all flustered. I'm like, oh my god. You know what, dude, secrets revealed. All right, you got it.

Oh, no, it's so true. I'm a traitor. Two in the fucking right now, YKWD. Yankee swap is going down right now. I got him in here. Let's do this. Someone's going down. All right. Damn. Liz, you. Someone's going down. All right.

Damn. Liz, you go first. Pick one. All right. Okay. Yeah. But we know what the gift is already. So you that's kind of, I got an alternative. That's she's just here now. Yes.

Gift is a high can. Okay, she's just gonna fuck Dan. That's my name. Somebody has to see my penguin funny. What's up So you gotta explain how the game works The setting she tried to explain it to me Alright, everyone gets a number number one is the best number number eight is the second best number high numbers good number

Tuesday worst number Somebody took one I have one. I'm took two. I've won. I only have one piece of paper to No, we can't do it. Maybe I didn't make enough. Oh shit. Put them all back in No, I'm keeping that. No, you know, no, no, let's watch the fuck her come on Put them all back in ranked them up had a good number two. What is it nine people? Does it? Change it. Do we count her? No, nobody does

It should be eight her father didn't we're not gonna start now How many did you put yours back in? Yes, did you put yours back in? Yeah, all right, listen to point stars. Did you come when you're having sex and a porn? The people they orgasm do orgasm? Yeah, come every day. It's a month.

So if not, I get frustrated. I love that she I love that she actually coming. This is how hot she is. She can just leave out letters and words and nobody gives her shit for it She's just that frustrated Fustrated I feel like you just called a reading guys you're a bad number. I didn't even pick a number asshole Didn't even pick one. I'm gonna get a number yet. Well, I fixed it beforehand. Do we want can't do we did she at her gift is what your gift can be Do we want can't do we did she at her gift is what your gift can be

I'm fucking dating somebody why would you make it then get this a pussy? All right, so yeah, I know you think we're gonna put one more nine you're in To get fuck her if you win that's what she says I'm not saying that I'm sure three something with me my girlfriend She's really just fuck away to your chicks asleep and sneaker in the room Then you're leaving it's okay I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there.

I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there.

I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there.

I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there. Number this bullshit. All right, what are you gonna do? Come on, let's go Yeah, we gotta cover your nipples put tape on the nips Just hold it. I just hold you in it. Yeah, same fucking number. Here's another one to hide their numbers All right, here you go. I'll still do it. I liked it the person. No Okay, let's go one Liz

We don't do that. Do you know how do you do a joke tell us? Well as number one says I have number one All right, and then number one gets their gift number two has the choice of the gift they chose or number one's gift No one and the end number one gets to choose all the kids fucking head number one And you're gonna fuck that Two, sorry, let's go. So what are you? All right. So you're number one. Pick one of these gifts. Pick a gift.

I'll open it up. There's a gift back on the couch, too. Yeah, that's a gift. That's one of these gifts. Oh, so pick a gift up here. Just pick her. So sitting your lap the whole time. Well, I get to pick at the end.

Yeah. No, she's no longer a gift. She's playing. She put her pussy up for grabs. I mean, not a pussy her her no, she put her she said her pussy. Oh, what is that? Talk to them. Oh, that's fucking to talk about it. Yeah, who do you think Danny? No, I did. What do you think? I keep those covered. That's offensive. Okay, who's next? I have two. Who has two?

So you go next. Wait, where's that? Any gift. Any gift? No, wait a minute. Can't she take his gift? Yes. Two years of the worst number.

But if she picks one pick a gift, there's a gift over there too. No, she picks one first. Yeah, you pick a gift. I'll put a gift. That's mine. Now let me explain what mine is. Can I open it first? No, let me explain what mine is can I open it first no let me explain first

It's it's the so you want to be a real ass dude prize back No, no, you cannot put it back So it is what it is it is what you would need to be a real ass dude if you want to fucking real ass day There's three little items in there number one one, that is a $14 gift card. Good enough for two triple venti brevay lattes from Starbucks. Real last dude, I like that. Yeah, then you also got, this is a square reader.

Can you wanna start making some fucking dough? Boom, you put that right in your phone, you could just download the app, it's 2.5%. You just swipe and fucking, I love that. I%. You just swipe and fuck it, I love that. I love that. Last but not least, that's a 20 milligram Adderall. So you can really get some work done.

What is that? What is that Adderall? Adderall. Yeah, it's a good fucking gift right there. How much do you know? They need them. Street value. I don't wait till I was married and sober

to have the Adderall hooker fucking. I'm gonna hooker once. Well, you see since you make up. You can take it a bit harder. It was married and sober to have the Adderall Hooker fucking I mean the Hooker points to the world Well you see since you make up your data I love the way you talk to the world Raymore expects I love the dick here in New York only in LA Vegas and Miami So technically I'm not a Hooker

I know I was just trying to be a softie It's not a Hooker Will you fuck guys for money though? Like just a straight up dude that offered you cash No I fuck for company Come on If some dude, if some fucking rich dude was like don't give you $1,500 to blow me I'll never put like gift out and shut the fuck up I would blow him Come on some dude some fucking rich dude was like don't give you $1,500

Shut the fuck up. I would bone. There's a big difference between a hooker and a porn star porn style does it on movies and stuff like that and then as a regular life No, I know but they do private business I'm beauty hair salon line beauty salon on Washington Heights on 171st and Amsterdam. That's fun So there's other stuff besides fucking incoming. No, I didn't see that. You wake up every morning and make breakfast and shit like that. So there's more than just hooking and fucking. No, I don't know. I don't know.

But it's so hard. I know. It's a regular thing in the porn industry. They're called privates. I'm not making it up. Kick it offended. It's a regular thing. Listen, it sounds like you didn't come last night.

I know I can. Oh. That's the number three. I'm afraid. I don't know. Look, I'll go, look. You're right, guys. She got me. Listen, it sounds like you didn't come last night Oh Oh Look go go go look you're right guys. She got me. Oh, yeah, she's keeping hers Gabby. What are you going for? What are you going for? Yeah, I like fun. Oh, that's yours. All right. Good sit down. Get on the mic That's a special gift. Oh, that's a DVD. It's just a DVD of me sleeping What is it? What is it? of DVD of me sleeping. Wait a minute, really?

What is it? Of course. Wait a minute. That's a high quality DVD. Of course, too. And do you know where I got that? I'm gonna give you a hint. It was deeply discounted.

Oh. Deepdiscount.com. And Mary-Jeans Pussy. Jesus Christ. I was in your at home. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Do you know, are you just gonna switch me to the talker? Yeah, I'm gonna leave that. Jesus Christ was in your

I Was Fag Faggot Faggot Why you not me? About me about Oh For the mic she needs a mic

She's spinning gold Loses until Loses until you get to pick at the end lose about the fuck All right who's for four four four four who's four me ahead pick what you want out of the gifts that would be hot dick Which they come together because we're built together which gifts I will compromise if Dan will let me sit on his lap And I will show you the right nipple gun, okay deal wait a minute. You got a gift Gifts are you know you don't make up your rules pick a gift? Gifts pick a gift no, no, you don't make up your rules pick a gift

There's a give look all these gifts just pick a gift you want that We heard about dance Give her a mic guys Listen Listen Let's give her a bite come on boys. It's cruel You fucking We're a bunch of fucking phone There's nothing better than see a loo is gonna hot one and we all turn on our friend You fucking what is that it's you got to keep opening it keep on it. Oh my god. That's what I got yeah Oh

Someone get the white man Lewis is Somebody help her you should fucking work money knife nails Really How far? You should fucking I'm probably worth money knife nails. It is you can buy it a target for fucking fuck it. Oh really? Oh, someone's gonna like my gift. I'm gonna someone's gonna if my gift that was my original gift her giving a lap dance, but

fucking everybody loves Dan. Yeah, you just gave me a lap. Cook Dan likes the party. Christ, I'm glad I brought a backup. I knew Cook Dan likes the party and P whole party and P coke dance. What is it? What's your gonna pee one more time? I got a face real bad What is it? Oh my god? That will go so good in your vagus apartment

So Yeah, look at somebody tweeted at me to buy this fucking painting Where I got this from? Where? It right around the corner? The homeless guy, Liam, the drunk Vietnam vet guy on the corner. Did he make that? No, he's someone gave it to him.

He said it was $150. I said I give him $20. He said sold. So you took advantage of a homeless person. He's not homeless. Nice, there you go. Merry Christmas. All right, who's the next?

Who's next? Who's the next who's next? Who's next who's next who's number five? I pick Bobby what number are you so you wait where's your gift? Where's your other gift? I'm not telling you no, I could you get a you get us who's gifts is what what do you got what do you got Liz? A Rubik's Who's that okay? Oh gave the Rubik's Who's that? Who gave the Rubik's cube? Maybe it's Dan? Is he peeing again?

Is anybody nervous about this? It's actually scary. Dan, did you do Rubik's cube? Oh yeah. One more be your Alan. Do you want to keep it or do you want to try it? It says you are loved. Oh my god, I'm peeing it! I want that! It says you are loved

All right Who's next I really want you to train with marriage and so we could all watch Mary I wonder I want you to show her a dream so we could all watch Mary Jean do a Rubik's cube Let's move the next seven hours. It'll be hilarious. Can I also just say this fucking finger up your ass? How much how much with that cost guys? He's this game moving also it's gonna be I just want to say this, the first year I've got a good gift. So I'm real happy about that. I like that gift. If I could take it away from you.

No, I just can't go, but I don't care who ever gets it. Who's next? Who's next? Oh, I'm sex, let's do it. Uh, Bob, which one was yours? Um, this one. That one right there?

Yeah. With the bachelor party favorite. That's my gift. Bob, he's trying to trick you. You're a fucking asshole. But keep in mind, I had a very good you know financially Where the other guy a thoughtful guy is it just this this this and that's it. There's not left. Is that it three left? Yeah, after you get it three left on this one. Yeah, all right. Good. That's it. You took the gift

What's over there? These are these guys from me these are not gifts. Okay, open it. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, she's she's a gift. Yeah, that's that's oh yeah, I mean the sexual tension. Absolutely the same in Diane All right, let's see flexible iPhone holder that is a great gift. Yeah, it's good. Have an iPhone. He has an Obama phone. Oh What does that mean? I really love this. That's a good gift dude. You know what you do when you kid take your phone Click it on the bed. It's great. And you can watch me. All these fucking gifts stink. That's a good gift every gift You don't like that gift. I like my gift. That's a great gift mine might be the best one. No minus I don't know it's talk is pretty bad ass My gift is great. You can do FaceTime live with that like this

I don't leave it fucking I got a holder for my phone Take that with you on the road you can add a club you can put that up and video tape You can put that up and video tape yourself I'll fuck you up. I can't be funny if you took that because I know you don't give a shit about You are stinks the fuck every gift here fucking maybe you'd open to fucking someone else's gift I don't roll back. He's regretting all right. I'm ready I'm gonna keep it again. I want that at all. I'm ready. Who's next? Seven me. I'm seven That's terrible. That's terrible. There we go.

Ready? Who's next? Seven? Me. I'm seven. This is your gift, Bobby. You got this. You fucked it.

There's a lot of them. They make you get all the way to the bottom. No, he lied about where his gift was. My God. This was his gift. I'm afraid to take that home to my wife. But Jared, tell them. The show estimates Joe Lissai's dick water gun.

There's a Sharpie. Two Sharpies. Thank you. You're a sharp. There's a Starbucks car. Two Sharpies, thank you. There's a Starbucks card. Read it out loud. Why are you singing? No. No.

No, the outside. Read the envelope. You had dumbed up. How much is it for? Who's it to? A dumb gay homo. Love. Love the truth.

Ten bucks. Ten bucks. My mom's 14. So many napkins. Oh, 14 oh wait this something else Pocket vibrator is that what this is Liz Gabby? I forget your name. I'm sorry. Is this a pocket vibrate Mary Jean? Yeah, you press the button start it Broken oh you get a pull the thing you press it. I get a pull the thing Don't use all the batteries

Tell me how to use my vibrator. Do you think there's something else inside of it? What are you doing? I had to take a look at the chocolate. It worked earlier. I'm back, baby! Coke dance out! Regular dance!

Back in! Voices! I had it in my asshole like a half hour earlier. Jesus. I just got fucking joke around. I'm not joking around. Did you put in your butthole? ass hole

I There we go That's a $10 gift card two sharpies a penis water gun and a pocket vibrator No water gun school. I got a watch out save to say I spent the most amount of money You know who's next I'm doing well who's next well,? Well, did you want that? You keeping that? You're switching it. Ooh. Who's number eight? Who's number eight?

I'm number eight. But are you switching? Are you done? I'm keeping it. I'm going to bring this to my wife. Where are the other two gifts? Who's number eight? I tried to get a male stripper, but I couldn't.

So I just got a spicy Italian foot long from subway. Oh, shit. Where's the next? There must be two. She worked on that joke for two days. I did. Guys, I want everyone to realize that Gabby worked on that joke for a very long time She said I tried to get a mail stripper, but I couldn't so I got a spicy Italian foot long instead

She wrote it. She fucking practice it in the mirror. I did not everyone I guess I'm taking the sandwich when I'm switching it to Gabby. I want the Gifts I'm taking the sandwich but I'm switching it to Gabby. I want the starboard. There's no more gifts. I need to give the add-on. She's again. Oh, the swipers don't. I want the swipers. All right, so you're switching. The swipers don't.

Yeah, that is pretty cool. That's great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, everything's in there. When did you get that sub? Right before the show. Six weeks ago. Fresh sub.

So it goes back to you. It goes back to, oh, it goes to Mike you it goes back to no goes to Mike Mike I'm watching Mike hasn't gone Mike is I'm not everybody fakes Mike's picking you Oh no no no you can take a big little for everybody else all right so you get her yeah But I think it'd be more fun if she aggressively danced on Lewis I think oh Oh Yes now I'm right

I never pass yeah, I know we know You wish like you said didn't you have a fucking girlfriend and that's why you can't put my boobs in your face Yeah I have a girlfriend I did not want you to put your tits in my face Don't fuck with me What puncher face right now? I Dare you to like

Kona one one Listen, listen guys this is getting real Puerto Rico versus Dominican if we go we take this down more midtown This is getting a little crazy. No, once it's the halfway point It's not the halfway it's the halfway point. What does that mean? We're gonna do another hour or not Not What who's taking the first one though? She's a fucking retarded. Let me explain to you why okay She got mad because I made a comment. I said to you about people Let me explain to you why, okay? She got mad because I made a comment I said to you about

people, about porn stars being prostitutes and doing private. If you fuck us, smack my face. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Bitch, yeah. You fucking stuff, you stupid fucking, fuck guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, come on, the fuck out of my face.

Guys, guys guys guys Damn Zach separator Lewis Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh, Loh the YKWD. I love you guys. I love Gabby, Dan, I love you. Just between my body and me. It's always I love you. I love you, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you God bless your Christmas. You know what? We love you guys Mary Christmas. We'll see you next year, okay? Lou I love you buddy Truth I love you. We'll see you guys next year. Thank you everybody Make sure you subscribe You subscribe You subscribe

We got it we got to go with us and subscribe And and go to Robert Kelly live comm. I'm at Gotham this weekend. Go to all my dates Please go to Dan Soder comm the truth go to Lewis Joe Gomez gas digit Illusionist gangs the bonfire. We'll see you guys next time, Merry Christmas, and have a happy new year. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.