Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Yankee Swap 2021 | Dan Soder Luis J Gomez Joe List

Episode Date: December 25, 2021

This years Yankee Swap is LIVE from the Comedy Cellar Fat Black Pussycat Bar with the Regs Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez and Joe List joining Bobby Kelly ( and some special guests!) for our holiday tradition! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Si no, por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.

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en el momento de la solicitud. Buscas contenido gratis. A One and B.C. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. I'm honoured having started the surgery. Yeah. Woo! Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Come on, you fuckers. We're live. First shaky swap. Right. We're here. Very Christmas. Happy Hanukkah.

And the other things. You guys ready to do this? Let's get them out there. Everybody, give it up right now for Mr. Dan Soda Give it up to that this way motherfucker give it up a loose Jake Gomez the Rattles day That mine What's up? This tripe unit feels weird already. Well, if they're a little too fucking close, right? It's like, hey, let's do a personal intimate thing we do every year and then invite people to just fucking breathe down our next. Yeah

Let's invite Ellen from a hockey team and Dean Del Rey. Yeah What's up? DL Ray was that would have ruled Dude you look so much like a fat Dean Del Rey. It is crazy. Take your mask off. Don't be silly. Oh What are you? Not a Nazi think about that before you know to not see This is not a Nazi. I feel like I was a bunch of people here that aren't fans of I hate it. This feels like they went to the wrong show. Yeah. They told me that a sea sensory would be here. You got this.

No, this is definitely a fan of Waking. That would be a big fan of the movies, The Goonies. This has also a fan of C-R-A-C-K. You should not do smart comedy. I don't get it. See, cracky cracky. He's trying to be smart. Don't do that. He looks at it. you were so excited to pull off a spelling.

I can feel that energy come off. Yeah, I mean this, I'm going to say this very, very early in the show. Yeah, this crowd stinks. Yeah. I agree. They are stuck in. I hold out faith in the warm up. I they're smiling and giggling. It's bugging the fuck out of me. You should have had a warm up act come up and do some fucking silly jokes for them first. I have that right now. Joe, where are you, Joe?

I'm down here. Not you. Oh. You already got the line. Joe Russell, get the fuck up here. You guys want some fucking, you want some jokes? Let me tell you right now, Bobby has always had the energy of a fighter who owns a restaurant

Because what do you want you want a little violin? Yeah, violin get over it Get place a violin play it for Don't sit down stand up. You're doing stand up. You jackass Ladies and gentlemen give it up for five minutes with Joe Russell go ahead Joe is a mic right there Joe Russell come on Joe Joe, Joe, Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

I just flew in from San Francisco and boy are my arms gay. Ha, ha, ha, ha. That's a great job. I like it. Come on. That's very good. I'm excited, guys.

This is fun. Tomorrow I'm going to take my grandma to an escape room. It's called St. Mary's Assisted Living Home. Well, this is better than us. So far, so good. I mean, Jesus Christ. I'm really going to get into it. Joe's going to get Montreal out of this.

So here's the thing, Bob, let me just say real quick. I had a little moment and I was like, I was like, that's a great joke, ungrateful horse, and then I went right out of these girls. And they didn't laugh at all. And then I was, they have no idea what this is at all. Yeah, well, they're gonna show up. Well, they're gonna find out. I tell you right now.

It's gonna get crazy. That's, yeah. Joe, how are you fat and skinny? I live like one of the worms from men in black. Timely reference and timely. Okay. How do these girls get front row? Yeah, it was crazy.

No, I feel terrible. They made a mistake and I feel terrible. No, they said gonna feel terrible. It's okay. Can you guys leave? We heard Michelle Liff was doing a secret show. And we've been tricked into this weird alt-right Christmas party. I wanted to come by and try some jokes for you. What do you call Fauci a liar?

That's my alt-right Michelle Wolf. What's better than storming the Capitol? Nothing! Stop there, steal! Stop there, steal! Lewis writes from Michelle Wolf. Yeah. It's a shell wall. Yeah. It's a new direction.

Louis doesn't write for himself. I know you do. I'm joking. These have so known me yet. They might have a high. Just like everybody that knows you, Louis, they hate you up top and will definitely leave fans. I would say become the camera guy on my fucking show. You fucking picked up the camera.

He handed it to me. Got it. Tell it a couple more jokes. Come on, weird elf. I have a friend named Sean. The other day he met my other friend D. Sean. They high five people disappeared. Both disappeared Cancel each other out Now I have any shons Look at Lewis look at Lewis Lewis is in the fourth dimension right now It doesn't know if it's the weed or the mushrooms. I think I hear that joke so much that I think it's good Lewis it like it went around and now it's a good job right Lewis. It's it's a it's a double on Shandra hey we're back yeah baby look it even the Karen's like then double on Sondra he got me your choice making me like it. All right, one more, ready? OK.

Do the Chinese joke. That's the punch line. Sorry. Damn, Bobby. If you're already depancing this kid holding a camera to his face, I'm trying to get in a star. I'm trying to get in a shape. So I downloaded an exercise app.

It's called the pedometer. If you're heard of a pedometer, it's supposed to count how many steps you've taken a day on accident. I downloaded a peto meter. Counts how many steps you're away from a playground. It's called Tinder Garden. That's fun. It's not bad. It's fun.

Yeah. I just keep wondering if this is going to be the footage they use in date line after this guy mows down a fun. Yeah. I just keep wondering if this is going to be the footage they use in Dateline after this guy mows down a mall. My head's hot. Can I go now? Yeah, you can go. Joe Russell, everybody. Yeah.

Joe Russell. Joe Russell. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. They're not fans of the podcast. Shane Gillis, why are you Shane? Shane Russell. Shane, you're here? Why, oh, do you come up here?

Shane Gillis, everybody, give it up, Shane Gillis. This is how much this crowd sucks. Shane was supposed to get like a big pop. Yeah. I mean, you guys fucking, this is awesome. We'll never do this again. Terrible. We'll never do it live.

You get a head on pulling on heart warming podcast. This is shit. I'm not gonna lie, it's usually the most fun I've ever had. This is all the lead. Shade, shade, shade. Shade, shade. Ladies and gentlemen, you don't know this is the guy that got canceled from Saturday night live for Sam Chink. Hey, how are you?

That's him right over there Hey, yo show's not going good. You gotta bring up your buddy. He's no monitor the bus. I know It's all we're all in the same place of realizing that this show live is a massive mistake. Yeah. Yeah. It was so bad, I really, I really did not want to come up with it. Yeah. I was just trying to get a straight,

you were a straight dude, like a dato, grabbed your ankle. These bands would have loved that reference. I haven't trouble getting over these poor ladies over here. Oh, well, I understand. It's pointed at them, called them horrors and carons. I didn't call them horrors or carons. I understand. They would have, if I was a look at these own

grateful horrors, if they were fans of the bike, yeah, that's us. Lewis talked to me. If they were fans, they wouldn't be attractive of women. They'd be dudes. That's bullshit. We have very attractive women. No, they wouldn't be a track of women. They'd be dudes. That's bullshit. We have very attractive women. No, we don't.

No. Yes, we do. She's fucking huge. They're here because they were dragged here by a man. Yes. Every fan of all of us is just, every woman fan is just going, he's obsessed with you and I don't get it. Yeah.

Every one's agreed to go. They want to get this photo? No, I don't want to get in the photo. Yeah. I'll take the photo. Do you want to get in? No Thank you for doing my I know but you do set it up properly. I did I fucking and I don't like It's cute, but this was the most attractive fan. You could point to she looks like you got damn skateboarding lesbian No, that's not cool. Oh, I'm sorry I'm sorry. She looks like she shreds doesn't mean she's much as boss.

That was just like Zach Amico. What if I told you that Zach Amico out of the makeup and just suit? Stop the shit. Zach Amico is like, hey, I get pulled off. Why? Is he, who's he to you? Oh, thank God, okay. All right, thank you.

That makes me so happy. Damn, you look like a hostage. Were you conceived in a half pipe? Yeah, those look like clothes he made you put on from his truck. Skyward, are you dropping on his mom? Put this hat on, Put this jacket on. Put this earring in your nose.

Let's go. It's like an adult troll doll. That's Mr. Troll. Charlie does dress like her mother left when she was one. Yeah. Yeah. Her dad ran the murder. Her dad ran the murder to the X-Day.

This isn't your craft. You can't do this. Oh, really, we can't get it. Whatever to equality, bitch. Well, at least I know what my thorn is. Great. All right, you guys don't understand. This is where we.

Our energy is not bad. We're pushing it. They are. This is where we tonight. We're going to do Rose. What the fuck is it? It's rose thorn seed. Yeah, well, we all give our rose and our thorn and our seed for the year Bob, I'm gonna explain what that is. You can't just say. Yeah, no, I just don't want to see it again I'm about to you fucking asshole. Your rose is something good. Your seed is when you jizz on some

And you're what's the thorn is something that your dad licks it up. We call that a rosy thorn. I can't do that. It's them in fucking 20 years. Oh my god. Oh wow. Thank you for being my friend. Bum, bum, bum. Oh, my God. You have to dam it, I'm gonna fucking great time these boys. That's great. Oh, yeah, that's fucking, that's three blanches over there.

Yeah. They're the bronze girls. I have fucking knots landing over here hanging out. Did you guys, it's like just the bronze girls. That's hilarious. Thank you, Lewis. Hi, ladies. How you do it? Is it somebody's birthday or something?

Yeah, hopefully not the one in the middle The moment the hat I do it All right take the hat you know as you know as might we look like the evolution of that poster This is it's just the size charge getting there It's like a big and tall size charge. I like this charge. I'll tell you what, it's just ship. It's fucking going over to one side. We have, we're doing the Yankee swap.

We all bought gifts and we do the Yankee swap. You know what that is, correct? We all pick a number. You get to pick the gift and whoever gets to get and I believe Santa Claus It's coming to town. So the real the real Real Santa Lewis dude the real one dude dude dude dude We should make a deal that like anyone that doesn't want to be here should leave before because I want this to be a fun family experience. I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to get out of here shortly.

Why you leaving? She got a five. I'm leaving dude. I got a spot. I got a spot in 15 minutes. No you don't. Yeah, I'm telling you really? Yeah, it's over at the cell.

I'll come back. Check the line up. I will come back. Go ahead check the fucking line up. Oh, check the fucking line up. You don't have to check it. That makes me want to check it. No, You don't have to check it. I just... That makes me wanna check it. No, you don't need to.

So... So Joe, why don't you start... Because you brought this into the YKWD. Why don't you start the A. Can we also say that we're doing a Yankee swap in a little bit where we're giving out gifts? Can we just... I said that you have drug addicts.

Yes. You just covered me. Even the old lady heard me. You always looked at me. I was looking at covered me. Even the whole lady heard me. You always heard me, right? I was looking up shade spot time. And I still heard him. You have two hearing aids? You do?

I just heard him up. Get nuts. Yeah. Let him whistle. Yeah. She had the whole podcast and be like a fucking flashbang went off in front of her. We're fucking headaches, man.

You're gonna get to the top of her! I was at a comedy show that I relived the whore, but we gotta get off this fucking beach! We're fucking all around us! Okay. Okay, you ready for this? I can't see anybody. Right here. Hey.

What are we starting with? The swap or the thing? No, we start with the Yankee Rose. What is it called? Rose, Rose Bob. Rose Thorn Scene. You guys know Rose Thorn Scene, right? You guys know Rose Bob.

But maker, she's doing good. See? Yeah, I get to pop these ladies What did I miss? It was our band starting yeah, dude. We're fine all the elements They're gonna bring in bachelor at parties halfway through Actually, we're at parties halfway through. They already did. All right, let's go. All right, so your rose is the highlight of your year. The thorn is the low point of your year.

And the seed is what happened this year that you're going to take carry into next year. And it's really something we kind of do amongst friends and it's beautiful and sweet. But now a bunch of young women that hate us and old ladies that will be dead soon are going to listen to that it's gonna be weird

that too much fee it puts it usually a moment that's not what it all go next door usually uh... don't watch very personal moment between friends that will now that we do every year on the podcast give it then what yeah the podcast has thousands of thousands of people listening there's eight people in the room relaxed and this is 100 people just missed the

way Christmas used to be what then listen he's gone okay I just want Christmas the way it was he's gone he's dead okay you guys don't know, Dan's dad is dead. Also, he was never at my Christmas's, so that's not even a bad painful memory. So I actually beat you. Fuck you. Guys, clap your hand if you're just... Clap your hands if you're just randomly here. You don't know what the YKWD podcast is. They're having all the outside surrounds us. They don't have to hold the outsides around them.

Clap your hands if you know what the YKWD is. Is that a way? It is a West. Can we make a trade with the village underground? Can we send the fans that don't know and get back like six fans in some wings? Just go to 7-11 and give away some tickets. Yeah, thank you guys for coming in and watching Point Bar. Can you make a call to the hot topics

if you any of your friends are available? Alright, so we'll start with Thor. We usually start with Thor. That's the low point. Okay, Thor. These ladies, you've played before. Yeah, they love it. This is their Thorne right now.

Still in college. I feel like I'd get along better with them than you guys You make kissing their ass the whole fucking night. Well, they're very sweet girls in my The sick as you guys have the same levels You have the same levels of estrogen Sarah has cancer. Oh, that's my rose Sequel She's really sick. No, what yeah, I thought I today You Don't

My fucking rose She's fine. She's fine. Dude, I hit so sad for a second. I didn't even buy it a little bit, which means when it does happen, it's gonna get awkward. I'm like, ahhhhhh, just like the Christmas show, I guess no, it's in her bones. Oh my god. She's gone. No, she's fine. That's good news. So the people that are gonna write emails that don't know what they're in right now.

I feel bad for Liz. She's going to be getting emails all day tomorrow being like, we came in five straight white guys. We were excited to watch a new jokes and what we saw was an abomination. All right. What is it? Come on. We're like, the hot go. We gotta go.

The hot one wanted to fuck us. One hot one. I was a joke, I was calling myself the hot one. You're the hot one. It was funny. You know what's that? Yeah, Bobby's the thin one, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. And you're not the retarded one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take a a sip little mouth. Oh, so My sword COVID What fuck you

What you guys like COVID no, I don't like Why not it's a bummer What are you trying to get on, Colbert? What does that mean? No, Colbert likes COVID. He's like, oh, Colbert, oh, whatever. That's a perfect Colbert. It's not bad. He just did a perfect Colbert.

Okay, okay, what is yours? What's yours? My thorn? Yeah. Of last year? Yes. Yes Why do you repeat you know the rules? He's trying to buy time to think of something clever. I Listen to me. I had a while you holding the microphone like Mick Jagger with your pinky out I had a great year. I had no thorns. You can't it's impossible. I had no thorns Yeah, you have to have a phone no thorns. You had a thorn. What about your act?

What was my thorn? What was my thorn? What was my thorn? I did have two. I did break up with two different girls this year. You and Natalie broke up? No, no, we're together. I had James had three different stepmothers this year. That was my thorn. That's funny. Having to explain to my son, what loss is? By watching Charlie's Angels. Yeah. See, Daddy's kind of like Charlie, and he's got his angels.

And sometimes one angel leaves, and another one comes in That was just kind of like Rebecca and Remember all three company where they were playing to see with This is kind of just like we're casting a new actress and the role of stuff all It's like back I'd say This is like Becky. I'm gonna be back. See you guys. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. I'd say, uh, let's just go in. I'd say my phone was like shit going pretty well, career wise in my life, I'm still having like this real deep unhappiness.

Hey. Alright. We're gonna get, hey. I need a lot of change. I need a lot of change. We're gonna get to that, and we're going to work on it. Yeah. I feel like we can trick the people that are here that don't know, and they're thinking this

is an AA meeting. Yeah. And that's why we work on it through our Savior, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Chankill us, everyone. God bless. God bless. Send them your love, send them your energy. That's not what happens at AA meetings.

All right. I was guessing. I still smoke weed so I can't go. Oh. They know what happens at AA meetings. Alright, I was guessing. I still smoke reeds so I can't go. You know what me? I'm ready. What's your thought? My friend Matt died. Oh, shit.

That's a fuck. Yeah. You like the booze a little too much and they found him in his bathroom. Really? Yeah. What was he doing in his bathroom? Yeah, I don't know. Probably something and then fell

What the fuck? I thought we're doing our thorns. Yeah, but not a real real Shoking are we not doing our thorns? I want to say a lesson piece Matt Brigh. Look at this last name Now we can Google it. I don't want to fucking see it. No, I'm not forgotten. I thought that's how the phrase goes. You fucked up, dude. That was a big fuck up. That's how fucked up, man. That's why we don't do it in front of people.

This fucking loser's crying. All right, is that the seed is supposed to be like, you know, like, it's not a seed. It's the corn. Oh, I thought it's you. The worst thing in my year. I think she spread as ashes as a seed. Maybe put your man into a tree.

It's literally a crow, man. No, that was a. My God. I don't like how do I follow? I don't know he wants to bring a real flooring. And Lewis is talking about all the plussies getting and fucking chose like, my wife's got fake cancer. I got a friend six feet under. So what are we talking here folks? Wow, I mean, well Bobby's under six feet too How's that gonna go it's like five nine? Holly is a five eight the quarter

Perfect leading man high by the way Another short guy told you that Good it's a fucking fact every star palm crews Al Pacino Al Pacino, the hero, 5-8, 5-8, 5-8. So why didn't you so unsuccessful? Yeah. Ah. Fuck, I knew it was time. Nice Lewis.

You got a problem. Lewis is on fire. He's on fire. He's on fire. He's on fire. Lewis is on fire. All right, my thorn. Now, Lewis is going to leave with his arm around those women going.

So I have my whole entire gas digital network. No from the ground up. These women are still reeling from realizing you're a father. They're not waiting, so the state doesn't step in. Okay, that's right. Okay, my thorn was... It sucks now, after Matt. All right, Pete.

My roof. Your roof? I had a, I was sitting. What a fucking softball here, thorns. Hang on. Dude, it was my fault. I'm sitting with my kid in my life, watching a movie, and the roof starts leaking.

And I had to put a fucking hole in the roof for my house. Oh, Jesus. Would you go out there yourself and just complete it? You money pitted it? You fucking go out there and up. You sure you got a home and feel it, not the thulver, and came through the roof. Buddy, I have to go on the roof.

Lewis has roofies if that will help. Fun. It's good work. I had to hide that. He's a rapist, it's the joke. I don't know if you guys got it. I was applying. He's a rapist. The joke. Did you hear that, honey? He's a rapist. I was the j- As when is Jay Leno going on? I'm here to say Jay Leno. He's a nice boy. Hey, nice hair about this, nice hair about Lewis. Can you put this one in the car? Pretty crazy, huh?

Lewis is so hard, it's getting so much pussy, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what it's like. Look how mad his girlfriend is. She's got a drink in the bar. Ah, bunny, Lewis. Okay, all right, let's go. I of the bar. Ah! Funny, Lewis. OK, all right, let's go. I actually think this is going pretty well.

All right, ready? Well, let's repel this shit out of mud. I know that. Ainal. All right, ready? What's next? Now we do Rose. Rose, OK, go ahead, Rose.

All right, Rose, well, we all know what this is going to be. What do you mean? What does that mean? The fuck? I don't know, I just said it. I don't think you want to fucking call me on it. Well now I don't know what to do, because I mean, damn it, it all sad and stupid with his dead friend.

You opened up with Sarah's canter. Sorry, I brought such a metal feeling to the fucking eggie swap. Maybe don't dance with the devil if you don't want horns. Do you know what I'm talking about? Right, this snake. My words is Dan's dead French. Yeah, dude, you were happy?

I'm so happy that he died. You're like, I hated lunch blocks on KFM. I heard it, it's Matt. Yeah. Good, right, it's Matt. But good, right, it's Matt. Good, right, it's Matt. But, good, right, it's Matt. Don't do it. No, I am Matt. No, follow him.

Good job. Good job. Good job. He wasn't to dark sorcery. So, guys, avoid it one there. I just threw up in my mouth. Yes. In like a party way or in a saddle?

I thought it was acid reflux, but it was pu- I think you got a point of that section. There I go. I know about that. This guy. It's funny because it's true. I said acid reflex, I didn't chip my pants. There you go.

I'm gonna let him bust one of my hips. What was your rose, Joe? My rose, I went to Ecuador. And it was really a lot of fun. What do a third-world country and had... I just stand and allow. I think it's a second world. It's a normal world.

That was... Oh, it's a good world. I don't think they're doing so hot there, Joe. What makes a third world? Yeah, it's not a good world. Oh, that's your fucking straight dog. third world is like where Lewis is from. Ecuador is like, what? You fucking rock, Rockland County?

No, he's got, he's got a point. That's fucking third world. Yeah, we've been up there. I think it's from Puerto Rico. No. Puerto Rico is like states. That's a beautiful place. It's not third world, dude.

Ecuador is a pieceship country. That's a beautiful place. It's not federal world, dude. Ecuador is a pieceshit country. It's a garbage country. Easy, easy. You brought a Puerto Rico for the Ecuadorian. You done did it now, Les. Ecuador is Ecuador and their entire culture is trash. Everyone from Ecuador should be fucking murdered right now. Lewis is going to start speaking Spanish.

It's going to be weird. I hope King Trump bombs Ecuador What it gets in a 20-20 guys is just Just to get you know what I mean ladies chill out You're gonna murder this only I have a husband that works in the state department and that's not true We're going to bomb Kutter! That's what my setup told me we're striking next. Ronald Reagan was a good man!

He was an actor! I can only see her talking like that now. I like the mean Puerto Rican rock. He reminds me of a boy that I had in the Bronx. He had me on the train. And I'm with the wiser. I can't look over there because I'll feel ashamed. She's right there! We close as digging through my soul.

We can't do a meet and greet after that. No, I'm leaving. No, no! We have to run out like fucking Elvis. We have to stop the fucking thing. No, we have to put the kids, put the kids, put the kids in the hole! Oh, there's a kick there!

Yeah. The clinic he is! That's my son. That's my son. That's my son. Yeah, that does look like Chola. Kenneth List. He's like, yeah, I got my dance, and there was text in

none of his jokes. I'm saying, I didn't know Joe wasn't funny. Oh my god, the laughing hell that would be. It was just not funny. Just an awkward small mouth asshole. Whoa, come on, you're kicking over the screen. I'm sorry, Joe. I got a shout out.

Guys, imagine if Lewis was funny. Can you imagine that? Holy shit. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Hi, what's your rose? Lewis, what was your rose? My rose? Skankfast.

Skankfast. Skankfast motherfucker. Oh, it's like a good rose. It was, yeah, I did two and a half years in the making. We did it in a different city. We've never done it before. How is the speech? What?

Let me have my fucking moment. I'm sorry, go. OK, you fucking moment. I'm sorry, go ahead. Okay, you fucking asshole, I'm here on my rose. I got it, have you rose. All right, we figured out that we could do it in any city. One rose, but... Any city in this country, we could do Skankfest then. But you can't.

I got five cities right now. Seattle, you fucking murder him. Coral and Idaho. Yeah. Suck my dick, Sioux Falls. Yeah, Portland. More fucking Fort Collins. Dude, are we just going to ask

us in any city in this country? Springfield, Massachusetts. And it would fucking murder. We didn't hear anything. I'm going to give out free, obese. Salon and a hamburger. Thank you, Professor. I like that.

Lewis is naming the fourth largest city as evidence. We could do it in any city. Yeah. It's like I could do a New York City, a lost hands, a lost San Francisco, a Houston. We pulled off Skankfest in the largest market in America. We could do it anywhere.

At 90% of our audience flew in from a different state. It didn't matter where we did it. I agree, I'm just shitting on you. We could do it anywhere. Skankfest, it was fucking incredible. We're going to ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver.

Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver.

Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver.

Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. Y ahora, vamos a ver. ¡Santa! ¡Santa! ¡Santa! ¡Santa! Las últimas tendencias en botas, comodidad 10tilo desde 29 con 99. Daishman, mucho por andar. Now girls, you're gonna wanna write a letter. You need to fucking relax your shit. Be cool, but you're one opportunity to be fucking cool relax your shit. Be cool. Because you're one opportunity to be fucking cool in your lives. Be cool.

I think they're really enjoying it. We really turn them around here. I think they were talking ourselves out of liking it. I think I'm going to get what it is and now they're like, okay, I don't like it again. I have a special... I like it. I have a special call to hate myself.

You guys might enjoy it. Go on YouTube. Very good. And watch it. It'm a special called I hate myself you guys might enjoy it. I know on YouTube very good and watch it He's the next one comedian. Yeah, and it's right. His wife is healthy now, but we don't know what the future of She's a lot of this early me. You know, you have a special on and this Saturday night is another special. Oh, that's right Big special Saturday big special You guys know what it is? I want to know Saturday night Right 18 Joe Yes, you tell him Louis CK's dropping his new special and Louis CK dot-com

That's actual That's actual Santa Santa Mom's fucking one promoting that piece of shit. Yes, I will not take part in that at all That was actually pretty excited about it Yeah, that is a loosey gay calm go there get the special Nana gonna go I'm there right tell her what a dot com is. I'm gonna go to the video store and pick it up.

What was your rose did also? I sang last year. Are we going back to it? Oh, no, you're not. What's your rose? My rose was spending a lovely year with my girlfriend and my dog. What a very much. Oh, that's you. That's right, I'm the friend of the my girlfriend and my dog. I love very much. Oh, that's you.

That's why I said, you're darn suck my dick. I put a barrier to friend. You know, very. I wish I did. And then I had to go to the warm pussy of my love. Did you actually, were you one of your friends Paul Behrers? Paul Behrers? Yeah.

I was like, oh, hey, would you? Oh, man, it's done. Would you guys beat my Paul Mayors? I gotta get the gym for a while. Yeah. I gotta get on a powerlifting regiment, but I'll do it. Oh, shit. It'd be like the world's strongest man and fucking down the bed. We hired the mountain from Game of Thrones. Oh shit, you... You'd be like the world's strongest man and fucking Dagger Bad. We hired the mountain from Game of Thrones. What's that? How did Bobby know Magnus from Magnus? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is all I lost. And if I die... Oh no, real bad about that one.

If I die, you lose weight when you die. No, you're filled with gases. Oh, you lose gas. Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas?

Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? Oh, you lose gas? I think you're gonna run you're gonna run for his money. You really have 80 pounds of shit. That's the rumor. I think it's fake but that's the rumor. Give it a Google. Yeah. Someone Google it. Well I like to eat a lot of

chili before I go. Leave them with a surprise fuck real Who can't you almost do? I almost do everybody Remember not doing that old lady voice never like this You want my rose yours my rose you say your house, I'm gonna hit you right in your head. I was gonna be in the fucking stupid tiny house that nobody else wants. So I'm trying to push tiny house on us. We want normal science houses.

What is this? What is this? I got a new rose. My rose is when Lewis realizes he has some drink for free here. Oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha $1 is a lot of money. I mean, that's a big bill for one person for drinks. That is. It's not that much.

There's some of these drinks that is. Can I get to my fucking rose? Is it your tiny house? Well, I have it. Yeah. Not now. What about you? What about you?

What about you? I have a regular house. Yeah. All right, so why are you so juiced about this tiny one? I have two houses. I have one's regular and the other one's tiny. If you had two normal size houses, I'd be like, that's pretty dope, dude. You don't even have one!

Where is your own house? You rent off somebody who owns a house. Where is your tiny house? It's in the woods in the hampshire. I bought two and a half acres in the forest. And I put a tiny house on. Does that part mean? Yes.

Electricity plumbing, all kinds of shit. How big is it? How tiny is it? It's a two bedroom, two loft. Bobby has to sleep outside of it. I'm there. I guess I didn't know it was the size of a fucking playhouse, then. Make it tiny.

I thought there would be a killed. He's not so important. Yeah he's got to sleep like snooze me. And now he's got two rooms collapsing. I don't want to give you my fucking nose. That is cool though. You should have said two point. You should have said two point. You said I sleep on a fucking house like a little dog. It is all gonna think about whatever you say you're in the okay up shaft.

You should have just said you bought 2.5 acres. That's fucking baller. It is cool though. It's such a hurtful thing to say to somebody that's excited about something No, it is it is cool I think it's amazing Who's that who got the call Yeah

What oh It was a big black. I think it's awesome. I think it's great, Bob. All right, thank you. My rose, I'll give you my rose. You want my rose, really? My rose is not my tiny house. My rose is that my son joined Jiu-Jitsu and really liked it.

Oh. He got his third strike and he's fucking kicking ass. When is the James Max, Paper View Extrap? No, no, no, no, it already happened. James, James, and I mean this, we'll do whatever he wants with Max's body. What? They'll put it like that.

And let me give it a moment. We're gonna put on this to do this battle like that. But James wants Max to take control of his body. This is that. Max is the alpha. James, James, James is in the world. I was like, Max, we'll just like bully James on my James. You can just take his arm home if you want it

at any given moment. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. James is too sweet of a kid. Damn, dude, you have a kung fu legend as a son. Yeah. And you have a kid that sounds just like your son. Well, for alpha. Alpha.

All right, yeah, yeah. Okay. Mm. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, goes? All right, see what's the seed? The seed, the seed is like something to have in this year that you're looking forward to into next year. Like, Skankfest for you, probably gonna do it in Vegas. It's probably also my biggest, yeah. Maybe we're gonna do it in Vegas. Hell yeah. Or you could do it in Europe, man. We were just in Berlin and all these people, like,

we're talking about doing Skankfest UK. Oh, there's a lot of shit happening. All right, maybe we're gonna do Skankfest St. Petersburg May be any professor US Virgin Island who knows we got some places the UN's telling us we can't go But how about we do Skankfest there? I think that's more Korean with I love that Lewis is doing Dan's impression of himself. I'm doing Dave. I'm doing J's impression or I'm doing Dan's impression or Dan's impression of Jay's impression of Lewis. It's multiplicity.

Whoa. What's your seat, dog? My seat? His seat. My seat? Is on these ladies faces if I want to. Sorry, I don't know. I can't look over there. They're smiling.

Damn, Trillis is like a polite businessman and then flashes his dick before he gets off the subway. He's like, that's how Wall Street works. Yeah. I'm only kidding. You guys are like chicks before I go back to my family and Connecticut. Uh, my seat, I made a film. I made a film and it's coming out in 2022.

Woo! Yes! Lewis was almost in it and my wife's I was caught from that movie the movie you have cut the best scene in the movie was cut Yeah, I was too expensive for the film Yeah, I spent $3,300 to join Sag after Sag after a year. Oh, to get out from this. Oh, that's my rose now. That's great.

That's my fucking thorn as a fuck. I joined, like, I lose, I have one of these fucking Sag after a quarter. Yeah, I want to see what it's valid through. Let me see it. Why do you think this is going to be interesting? Yeah. Sag after a quarter.

I'll pick that up. That's pretty good health insurance No, I'm not gonna lie you get you sets on a late night. You could fucking be going to any dentist in New York you are Is that true? Yeah, yeah, he had to pay Yeah, so we're gonna say good now you know I'm not the 31st of October So he's no I have to get to your five bucks. No, it's not it's like thousands I have to use your five bucks. No, it's not it's like thousand No, not the first thousand yet. This is you not in anything You'll get free DVDs That's falling your free screeners

You get a DVD of that movie that you're not I mean, I told my son that I'm gonna be in a movie now. I'm just like ignore that for the rest of his life Just make a movie we got got cameras. We'll make a quick movie Make a movie right now. Let's make some Let's make some movie He's like dad, this is terribly shot That seems like the white-hawed we do yinky swap Christmas special. That's not a movie

He's like this is shot worse than your dad was. He was dad with stabs I know it's a close enough His dad was stabbed to death Yeah Yeah. That's what makes it murder. That was murdered because he's Puerto Rican drug dealer. Yeah. His mom's dead too. His mom died too of heroin. You know how the sailors used to get off when they dock? Yeah, that's why I act like this So you know you now you feel bad for me, right ladies exactly. I'm a fucking orphan Sun I'll come out tomorrow

Oh, bro, there'll be some. Anyone, anyone, boxers, just come back. I'm gonna go, I don't want him. I've lived with him for a week. He won't stop touching his own penis. Give me the red hair curly girl. Dumb dog, why are you following me? Are we doing just the one song or? You know the whole fucking yeah

We don't need to know the whole cattle. It's a hard knock life. By the way you guys want to know it's really funny Shane wasn't listed on the lineup at the seller He just left yeah that cock sucka. I gave him a pressure fire It was fun. I just don't know. All right. What is your? What is your cake? What is is my I said my seat was You're really in the leader But see that because gang fences now coming back. That's cool That's good. By the way and shout to Bobby Kelly who hook you up with the fucking venue is looking very good my friend

Nice very good my friend The venue where they could have it will be literally the perfect fucking Skankfest. Downtown Vegas. It was downtown on the old strip, on Fremont Street. It's going to be, it's just- Anyone listening please go bid on that space. So Lewis does not have his seat. Speaking of old strip, what's the pubic hair situation over there?

I'm curious. Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Quiet! Joe Russell will come back! Just kidding, Joe, that was hilarious. What'd you see? My seed is... Billion, season six. No, actually, that was hilarious. What'd you see? My seed is... Billion, season six. No, actually, it's not.

I'm excited to work on a cartoon that Dan St. Germain and I sold. So I'm very excited. Oh, nice. And that puts you in a casting? No, no, we're right there right now. You know, I do great voiceover. I know who will stop.

Do a voiceover. What do you want me to do? I want you to be a zany character that's lost. And it was so bitch. I know. You want your rate? Thanks for coming in. How about this?

No, let's give him a shot. I want you to do a stoner guy from California. It was so bitch. You want to get raised? You know what? I did feel like I was being threatened right by a stoner. We'll give you a call. I want you to do a older woman in her 50s.

Hey, what's up, bitch? You want to get raped? I love that it's not a transitioning woman. A regular woman. Well, I've smoked two packs a day for the past 50 years. Since you were born, you started smoking you're born? I'm incorrect. That's a lie.

He's not really a fifial woman. Oh, no. No, no. Oh, no, yeah, me. No, stop it. This is all lies. Bobby, what's your seat? I want to stop being lied to.

My... What does the seat again? It's what you're looking forward to in the next year. The thing that happened that you had this sort of has blossomed a little blossom next year under your roots. It could be another tiny house. I thought you have a house. And then you have a tiny house. We've got. I have my tiny house. The trouble with the tiny house. You started with a tiny house and I got a regular size house house house. Oh, that would have been dope. That's the way you should have done it. You did it in the wrong order. Louis, don't you rent a house in New Jersey?

Yes. Yeah. You rent a tiny house in Jersey? I rent a huge house. You just got a new house. It's pretty nice. Your other house was small. It was tiny.

My other house was a tiny house. Stop. I don't like this. What is your seed? I hope this year, seed that I could, I could do a special, it becomes very successful and I become very popular and I don't have to hang out with you anymore. That's a good seed.

I hope I never have to be around you again. Well, hope. That's your seed. I'm not a seed. I'm seeding it. I planted a seed. have to be around you again. Well, hope that you're seeing that. I'm seeding it. I planted a seed. I hope that I get so successful that I don't have to be around you. That's what I'm saying. You want to sit here.

I didn't just show up. And see guys. That's a little thing. I love you, man. That was fun. You guys can turn to love you, man. That was fun, man. You guys can turn so much into a black box theater. It was so much. We're going to be either.

We're going to be the charity Thet Lane Theater. It's about love, it's about growth. Thank you for being part of it. All right, what do you say we get to the Yankee Swap? Woo! Yankee Swap, you guys know what it is. We all have presents, we don't know what they are. Everybody picks a number and the first person, the number one is the best.

Are we doing, uh, just us, are we doing the producers as well? I think we always do the producers too, right? Yeah? Well, I'm so on a gonna spring time for it law yeah do get it that's from the producers yeah we're not I feel like I'm dropping some jams and you guys are dumb for should we do the producers to or not yeah all right let's do it all right yes how many producers are there's like 1100 producers of the show who do you know who's this who's?

Are you just handing me bags? All right, this is mine. Mine's the best. You're a little lesbian producer as a fat ass. So her boyfriend is right there. The old day long. She's not a lesbian. Yeah, dude, I can't wait for this.

She's an athlete. Doggy, you're lesbian girlfriend as a fat ass. Just so you know. She plays lacrosse, leave her alone. Who's this? This is Lewis, this is you. That is my present right there. OK, ready?

No, you just put them over. You don't give everyone their presents. I didn't know, Joe. Just get down on that. Well, this is our fortune in a row. All right, but I'm 51. Can you cut me some slack? I'm sorry.

I did cut you some slack. I didn't make any time you held it up. Cut you some slack. What am I here? Seamstress. That was good. That was good. And it didn't get any.

Wait, do we have the numbers? That was, yeah, they barely got Seamstress out. Technically sound. It was good. Yeah, it was a nine. It had, it had history. Oh, really? You're excited though.

He went, we see, we see, we see. Oh, who is it? Oh, Oh, Here's the hat, we're picking numbers. Here, you hold the hat up high, so no one, make sure no one cheats. All right. It's too high. You're going to lose too high.

Lewis, you go. All right, here we go. And we got this one, that's mine. This is my turn. What will I do? Hope it's not Good. I got this one now. Let me see the hat mush come up here you three pick But hurry up once the best number one is the best number one after that hire two is the worst Yeah, do you get to no but close you got three?

I just suited nice deal. I felt it actually felt it through two chairs. I will give it to them two chairs Joe Yeah, why is it who took two? I took one There's my six numbers Joe didn't bring a gift His act that was a gift Joe and I bring a gift. Joe, he's a shit. He put it in his act. That was a gift. Joe, I'm returning it. All right, let's go.

You're gonna bring a gift. Open them up. Open them up. Let's go. All right, who has number one? Yeah. Oh, Danny. Oh, my god.

He always gets number fuck. I do this for Matt's memory. What the fuck? Damn, nobody cares about Matt. All right, yeah? This is right. Got the important as ass. No, no, no. Hey, you gave away my gift.

Why are you mad about it? I don't know, because you always get everything. No, I don't. Hey, you don't. Yeah, MTV Guy Code. You know what? I think I'm accurate. And then I did pass the bar on the guy code. You know what? I think I'm accurate. And then I did pass the bar on the guy court.

What'd you get? Where's mush? Hey, all right. Who's got two? Wait, you don't go through like that. You just go from one and it's a surprise. We're blowing it. Okay.

Go, go, go, go. All right. Dad, you pick up a gift. Let me pick a gift. I like this gift. I like Lewis. Lewis's got money now. He's throwing it around. I like this gift.

Lewis is the kind of guy that tells you that he has money. So it makes you a little skeptical. He's like, I got $188. Oh, it's a water, pick water, flosser. It's a water. Just a water, flosser. Can I say this? I hope and visit a lot of them now. I'm using I'm using

My I'm using Lewis's bag and I put my gift in it. No, that wasn't me. I mean this right here It may not seem impressive. It's not I was sponsored by quip we got a couple of them bad boys. It's crap Quip ain't shit dude. This this is We got a couple of them bad boys. It's crap. No, crap, crap being shit, dude. This is crap. You're essentially a shit crush. You gave a fucking blowjob machine.

That was the best. Yeah, this is better. No one's gonna want to pick this gift. I don't know, it would be fun to pick shit out of my peel. Oh, you got shit in your peel. Oh, this idea. It's gay. It's gay.

It's gay. It's gay. It's gay. Go for a shirt, you're gay, Dan is gay. Go for a shirtee, brush your teeth, and then waterpick afterwards and see what comes out of your fucking mouth. It will change the outfit. Hey, what?

It's by the way, this girl right here, she's fucking waterpicks. I see it on her face. And she, by the way, show me your teeth. Look at those fucking toes. Oh, that's what it is. Look at those probably whites. Those are nice.

Gorgeous, she waterpicksicks you should give that to him Those mean for no reason waterpeck It's saved the last three He's a real water prick That's got number two. I number two the talk. I'm up here I am Number two number two to talk with my peer She Let me see what you got Who gave you that

Don't explain the room See you got open that give and then you got the choice of Yes, you put in the water pick Now I'm gonna back to my uncle Luke past dogs What is that What is it? It's Lewis with Gabby's I'm gonna look around on my head. Oh my god. I want that photo I got I want that photo It's a puzzle who who who who who's gifted that it's a puzzle Swara wait a minute is it a puzzle? Oh

Puzzle that's pretty awesome fun With Gabby's underwear on my face remember that, remember that she took it right off her body. What a pig This bond joby's daughter You're gonna keep that That's what I wanted the whole time. New Kelly, that right there is the greatest gift you'll ever have in your entire life. For you, you get that teeth.

Yeah, but thanks for that. Now let's play her off. Don't stop, get me to see your move. All right, who's got number three? Louis's got three, right? I do have three. What was that? All right, pick a gift.

Trace. Trace. Let's see. All right. I lost my number. Um, uh, where are the gifts? Here's the thing. That black bag is a gift.

I got it. Yeah, we'll put the gifts on the table. Ready? There you go. Yeah. But what about my drinks? Well, that's what I'll take this one. OK.

Good. All right, Dan, what an easy sell. That's mine. We're going to take the fucking deli drinks? Oh, I'll take this one. Okay, good. All right damn what an easy sell That's mine. We're gonna take the fucking deli bag. Oh really? Oh It's a Joey DeRose sandwich. Oh, the Joey Roses dad. That's the same. The water pick cost $80. You bought me a $7 sandwich.

Yeah. Eat that. And then you can see it. But you can borrow that from the door. You can get the water picked back or the puzzle. If you don't think that I'm not taking that with my- What kind of sandwich? You're having a-

I'm surprised- I'm surprised you don't have a bunch of them on a bandal ear. LAUGHTER Wait, can you open the sandwich just a little bit? No, yeah, I mean, it's just present. Well, he's got to keep it now. Damn, dude, that was fun. Oh, yeah!

No! Looks like my arms flinching. Oh, it's really good, dude. You can't eat it! My arms are delicious, what's good? God, that no- that no- children freak really can't make a sandwich. Yeah. Always a sign of a great comedian, one who stops doing comedy to make sandwiches.

Guys, don't forget about my new line of soap coming out, sir. That's all burnt to you, too, by the way. Yeah, dude, why is the sandwich so burnt on one end? He burns it with his anger towards the industry. Every substance flamed royal by Joe's hatred of the gate So you you keep on this are you keeping it? I mean the sandwich looks great. Do you want your day? You want to say what water picker? I kind of want this

Gabby underwear on my face put that over next So this isn't actually the puzzle. That's the size. That's the size. I need to just put this in my bowl and then make the puzzle or something. Stop treating us like your special end teachers. Yes.

Wow. You really need everything. Explain to you. No nibbling from the sandwich, because someone might take... Yes. Shut up. Dude, I'll fucking smell it. I'll do everything. Who's number three? No, He was three number four. I want the green bag there right under your taint

This is real heavy Who's this from the green bag was sustained my my bag is stolen the floor still on the floor My back my my gift by the way is covered by your hat. That's a gift that black bag Who supplied this? Oh, shit. Who? Nicole. Oh, that's behind the dog. She feels like a regular person. This might be good.

Oh, shit. I feel like Nicole's gonna give, like, that's how he's headed. Ante rape underwear. Oh. It's so funny if it is Gabby's head. Producing for life. It's candles, but with our faces, it's a Bob Kelly candle. That's good, yeah, I like that.

And there's a Jo list candle, the actual size of my cock, which is crazy. Yeah, and the actual thinness of your face. Can I say, hold on, hold on, hold on, time. It's only given professionally, means you just printed her own weird shitty Photoshop and wrapped it around a candle, Joe. It's nice shitty gift. It's a fourth grade art process

shitty gifted I Hate her I'm gonna beat up her boyfriend after the show Wait, but hold on to the camera. So do I want when Dan has long hair like Jesus cool? Yeah, that's fun And then there's not a Lewis one which is hilarious Send in a message. No, I just can't there is a Lewis one which is hilarious. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm just gonna get you to the reed and land it up with. Bobby's like, how to win to everything. When you're hiding, the fucking those left-holded of veggie burritos and fucking off the hook. The lowest one's like this time.

Now hold this sandwich. Like a fucking asshole. Who's fifth? I'm gonna, I haven't gone yet. I haven't finished, but I am keeping this because this is pretty good. Keeping that, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Who's sixth? Who's sixth? I'm fifth. I'm fifth. What do you want? All right, I'm gonna go. Who's two gifts left I'm fifth you are all right I'm gonna go Two gifts left there's Joe's left and Dan's give this is dance. Yeah, and this is Joe's yeah Well, there was that blue gift right there what blue gift underneath Joe dance. Oh, that was so good. Santa gave me soap I

Think I want Joe's okay. Wow. I want Joe. I'm so nervous All right. What a few things in there. Oh, big king cock. Six inch cock. Six inch cock. By the way, it's only six inches, so it's very reasonable. Let me see.

It's a good size. A lot. Whoa, she put it under her dress. A lot of women say that's a very good stuff. You're gonna need this. Let's have a look, wait, there's one more thing in there. What? There's more- What, from bomb?

Your bomb? It's a Starbucks gift card. Oh, okay, thank you. Is he gonna get a coffee? A cup of coffee? Yes. Pull this on your asshole and then sit on that. Yeah, that's right.

That's exactly right, you nailed it. Let me see that. Can I point out in this picture, like, the crotch of her underwear under my nose? Like that one. I tell you that someone that was actually there that he was very happy. That is. Got a photo off. That's a real emotion. And she's trying to spray with like, like, air fresh in her, but I can still smell.

That wasn't cheap. Your wife might like that. AC. What? I'm just saying, there's no way she's going to fit a six inch dick inside of her. Impossible. Too much. Give it a small dick.

I got it. I got it. Now you got it, but now you got a bigger one. I have a fucking fine dick. But now you got it. Now, Bobby, is your dick bigger than that? Me too. It's close enough.

It's close enough. Honestly, it's like meeting an NBA player. You don't know they're so big in person. Yeah, by the way, there's no way that's six inches really. That's fucked it. That's crazy. That's 15 ladies. I don't know.

We're kind of Norwegian sized shark they're using. You know, this is made out of wood back in the day, right? I remember. You know, like George Washington's teeth. I remember the first rubber one. We used to call them rubber duckies. And if you had one, you weren't married. Bobby, what's the move? What are you doing? Who's left? And if you had one, you weren't married. Bobby, what's the move?

What are you doing? Who's left? Uh... Are you going to keep it or trade it? No, I think I want the water pick. Water, water, water pick. Water, pick! You got the nice dick.

You got the nice dick. She's going to be thrilled. Are you going to all this fracking little slut? There's lube, a a coffee and a nice black dick Where you get all jacked on caffeine and then just get right now. This matches your outfit Thank you All right, we got one left who's left Shoraz come on up what are you?

There's only one gift left. Dan's gift. But you got the choice of any gift. Yeah, you get the choice of any gift. He does or no no no, Dan does. Dan does, that's a hundred bucks. A hundred bucks. A Sino. Dan's everybody's got the...

Experience! You can buy the... Sorry bro, when you wrote Bobby Ax Axelrod you got a drop major cash You can buy four black ticks with that is supposed to be 20 bucks. Well it's a hundred this year I hate to do this this is the most mush moment ever but hey mush give me my hundred back Jesus shit He just paid one hundred dollars for a jota Rosa sandwich That was some Siri he lit up up when he was doing it.

I'm keeping this. Yeah, it was just rent. Oh, that was kind of nice to see on me. Mike is so happy that Matt's dead. What the fuck? What happened to Ron? It's not cool. And honestly, one of my ideas for my seed was to bring it back as his

on page. Oh geez, you guys really fucked me on that one. Thank you guys. Hey, thank you for holding onto that Christmas spirit. We, I got a gift from Nicole Mush and Joe. It's a 2022 creeps with kid comedy tour. YKWD calendar, right? Is it a calendar? For next year. You know the tour, why would anyone in this audience care about this? Back to Sucks Dick. It would be cool if it was a Skis. Sucks calendar.

Yeah, also it's a calendar of just your friends that you have to go on the road with. It's a calendar. Yeah, also it's a calendar of just your friends that you have to go on the road with. You look at it, Voss, all of March. Hey, what's up, dude? Have a good spring. I felt the phantom spit. So how good of a Voss was that?

I was a pretty guy, damn good Voss. So Bobby, you guys, you said that's it. We're done, right? You have the water, Vic. I didn't, I got the water. Yeah, I went last. I got my mother's best gift. I have the best gift again, because last year I got the blow job thing too. My wife took it and hid it. I don't know where it is.

Damn, I was going to say now you can get double teamed by machines when you go home. What if she gave it to the guy she's cheating on you with? Why would she do that? Why would she just suck his dick? Yeah, I know. She was like, you deserve more. Why would she just give me that blow the guy? Sorry, Nana. Dude, what do I do? I can give you this. You can do the same thing with it. See, by the way, that will make a woman come if you spray it directly on her clip. She's not going gonna knock some stuff off. It'll blast all the food out there.

I don't need you to power wash the thing. Just get in there, get in there, get in there. Hey, Shane, you didn't have a set, did you? You're lying sack of shit. No, you didn't. All right, relax, Liz. All right. Liz, it was funnier if he didn't. All right, relax Liz. All right. Liz, it was funnier if he didn't.

Yeah, that, next show, being the break of comedy. I do have another one. I can't save this show. Yeah. We know. Can you go find a comic that can? Hey, what's that? This one. I can't. Okay. Hey, you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be the best woman.

You're supposed to be the best woman. He's right. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess.

I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess.

I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. I know I had it off night, I guess. It's also funny because you're a member since 2021 and it expires Halloween 2021. Like you didn't even get a full year. You got like four months in SAG and they were like, all right, I'm losing to her ass. You paid $3,000 for four months. And they cut you off. And they come out of the movie. You should have fucking gone and voted in elections for SAG. You should have really done those four months right no

I'm going and I mean this I'm going to shoot up the premiere I'm gonna show up. Hey hold if you're listening to this right now show up with fucking assault rifles to the premiere of Joe list. Okay. I mean this kill everyone involved in the production Dude, I can't wait for that weird post headline Sunday bloody Sunday. No kill them kill everybody. I mean I am a hundred percent It wears a camera. It's all this for one there one there one there one there If you were a phantom I you will murder everyone involved in joeless movie You will show up at the premiere and you will fucking kill it is adorable that Lewis thinks is gonna be a premiere of this movie The premier is coming on YouTube. What are you shitting me?

You're gonna be a band from YouTube for it. Really? Seriously? I made a movie, ladies. Yeah. My wife is sick and I made a film. Your wife is not sick. What? You're gonna take swings. My wife is sick and I made a film. Your wife is not sick.

What? You're gonna take swings? What if Sarah gets sick now? This will age poorly. He's not talking about you. You age like a fine one sister. Are you hanging out tonight mama? Is that your mother? No, that's not my mom. Are you hanging out tonight mama? Is that your mother? No, that's not my mom. Are you hanging out tonight sweetie? Are you gonna be up late?

Oh, whoa. Oh, yeah. Give her back the dildo. You jump, jump, jump. Yeah. If you masturbate with this, it's all the one camera off here for your bill. Go.

Give her the bill, though. Give her the bill, though, right now. If she's jealous, you make money. Look at her. She's losing her mind right now. What'd you think you were bringing her to? It's your fault. Do some research, honey.

I know. If she uses that black tilde in front of this audience. What's wrong with you? You got to laugh and now you've made it everybody uncomfortable. It was a blink when you fucking talk to her. If you use that black card, it's brilliant. Right now, I'll give you 180 dollars. It's right. There's stupid yellow glasses do soften that.

Oh, poor lady's playing along. She knows how many eyes are there to be with the man, says? His father died by the blade. I want you to shut this inside of yourself. Okay, but leave my daughter out of this. I'll do your bidding, you evil Latino. That makes... She'll be at the sky,essing with a mohara.

So what's up, I'm James, it's your step-mom! I'm number four! Let me ask you a question, how do all the guys up here? Which one would you hook up with? Oh, you know. Which one? Which one? You got a pick one. Who, you got a pick one? There's a gun against your one? You got a pick one. Who? Yeah? You got a pick one. There's a gun

against your hand. You got a pick one. Which one? We can do a whole I'm a farm hand and it's with me. You pick me? Damn. No, she wouldn't. Wow. You just said it. You got to understand. Lewis, you have to understand in olden times bigger people were seen as being very prosperous. You get Bigger people were seen as being very prosperous. You get fucked up. Oh shit. Fuck all of you. She's like, I'd go with President Taft. That's a lot of that.

That's a lot of that. That's a lot of that. That's a lot of that. That's a lot of that. That's a lot of that. That's a lot of that. That's a lot of that. in the economy! I'm gonna fuck his face! Bobby at a bathtub? Fuck yeah dude! She's gonna pass away from COVID after this, but it's so good time! We all had fun! No you really, you really, you choose Bobby out of everybody?

Are you guys ready? I'm gonna fuck his face! Bobby at a bathtub? Fuck yeah dude! She's gonna pass away from COVID after this, but it's fun. No, you really, you choose Bobby out of everybody? Are you near-sighted? Miss, Miss, do you understand what's happening right now? Do you know where you are? I can hear you and I walk along.

there you and I walk along. Oh my God. I need to get you on camera. Sweetie. Hi, mama. So you definitely pick me right? That's great. Who would be your who would be your second choice in an orgy? Yeah. We should have known she had Joan Rivers at her J. I mean, and she's, are you trashy me? Yes, all of us. Strashing me, you and Joe.

Listen to me, lady, you would be fucking lucky to have a night with me. Are you out of your mind? I bet this woman could get Louis DeFucker by challenging him. I'm not that better. He's like, I'll do the cheer right now. I can get a pretty good rate at so low.

I'll fuck. I'm gonna try to be the church. Pretty good rate at so all. Oh fuck. I'm gonna try to be the Jersey. I'm a Hilton gold man. I'm just gonna walk around the corner. I'm gonna kink size sweet. Fuck you man. I'll sell somebody these candles.

300 bucks a piece. Lewis, you got the money. $25, too. Such a tick move that you took it away from Mike. Oh, stop it. Yeah, you fucked up. It's fucked up. That sandwich has always already gone from pain.

Did you eat that sandwich, Mike? With $100, you could have bought every prize on this stage and taken an Uber to go get a Joe DeRose a sandwich. But that's not the meaning of Christmas. The meaning of Christmas is taking a hundred dollar bill from a sad Mexican. Yes. Feliz Navi died. That been easier screwed baby.

I'm gonna be the prequel. Oh Jesus. What was that? What was that? It just dropped a microphone. But like not in the cool way Well, thank you mama. Well, we're really limping. Let's ask these ladies. Which one would you fuck? I know it's up besides me obviously

Would you be oh yeah? Yeah besides me because I'm yeah The same opinion was this one right here on the end Miss if you had to fuck one of the men on the stage right now, which one would you choose? My name is Joe. Joseph and Mary nice. You think Joe? Look at his face again. Wait, two minutes.

Look at his face again. Number one, he's got tiny lips. Number two, fact. Real true fact, he has her face. Real fact. Hempersize, swear to God. Talk to me. Talk to me.

I saw my son's life. He has her face. I'll give you that. Here, I'll give you some. I'm out of that. I swear to God, I'm out of that. I saw her in my son's life. God, he has her piece. I'll give you that. I'll give you that, he has her piece. You were towards, I don't know if tiny lips. I have a small, small mouth. Second of all, these girls for sure have herpes also. They're young and liberated. No, dude, this is a clean, this girl's clean as fuck.

I have herpes because I'm cool. Why don't you get herpes? You fucking nerd. You're a fucking nerd. I like you just judo flip you. I can't be a dorky for not having that. Joa's herpes. And I openly have herpes and advocate for the,

the song, Shushing Me. They fucking. This is my fucking show. The hell is this? Good job, Shane. Oh. Shane Gillis is shushing me. Oh, that's fucking, let's Lewis's girlfriend, Jayna, fuck Shane. Oh, no.

Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane. That's why you're shushing. Shane, Shane, Shane. He's shitting. Shane is spirit still blushing us. She's like, he really, I really want to do it. He's like, shh. Miss.

Knowing that he has herpes, this is the effect. Not a bullshit story or a joke. This is real. I take Val, miss. Knowing that he has herpes, this is the effect. Not a bullshit story or a joke. This is real. I take Val Tracks. Now you gotta choose one. It's suppressed. Miss gonna choose one. Once a fun road, it must be sputty, right, lady?

What? What? I'm praying to his candle. He has all the candles. I got all of it, she still wants it. Yeah. That means she actually has her piece. I'm quite charming.

You're making all these rape jokes. I'm just making sweet, his friend died jokes. You guys really gotta get more on these because it's getting weird. We're gonna have to face each other after this. So I got, I'm over here. Joe's over there. Okay.

And nobody wants to do this. We're just gonna bang it out. Me and Dan are, and I mean this, and Dan, look, I'm over here. Joe's over there. Okay. And nobody wants to do that. We're sitting out, bang it out. Me and Dan are, and I mean this, and Dan look, I'll come with you. We're by far the most sexually appealing man on the stage. Thanks, doc. Dan is not sexually abused. Shut up, see this, dude.

He doesn't even look like a whore that knew 7-11 worker. You look like a 7,000-1,100 worker. I only kind of got it. It was all right. Listen, dude, I am by far. I will give you sexy. I'll say your sexy. I'm sexy as fuck.

I'm next sexy. And Joe, he uses his fucking kindness, his feminine qualities to get these chicks, these girls. Listen, the first thing you girls, I would cheat on all of you, just so you know. Yeah, I guarantee none of these girls like a nice guy too, all their books are fucking gagged, pinned against the wall, a vampire ate my ass.

They don't really want, they want you, but they don't want to give you the fucking credit, Lewis. Yeah, I know. It goes you, me, Dan Joe. I disagree, I think it's me, Dan Joe you. I'm last, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're my-

You're my- If- If my Filipino skin- Bobby, you're- You're- All right. Look at me, look at me and say it. You me. Look at me and say it. You're...

Look at me and say it. Look at me and say it. If a woman wants to be with you... But woman wants to be with you. Look at me and say it. Look at me and say it. If you can see she has a fetish... You have a fucking style on your eye. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah, and your skin's all brown. Bleh! Ugh! Your dick is, your dick is uncircumcized. No, my dick is uncircumcized. It just looks uncircumcized. I've seen your dick, too.

It's black with white, you dick look like it was in a fire. And somebody took it out and wiped it off. Black dick rules. Black dick rules. Black dick rules. Black dick rules. Who's the one who's the one who's the black dick rules black dick rules Hey, black dick rules She goes no, no, I can't if I when I was growing up if you chewed along with that you would be cute Runnin' on steam on that bit. Let's get out of here

Damn, dad has I need to go home face right now. Yeah, Dan has to wake up to be on the set early. No, I don't. I have to go to Boston, your hometown, you and Joe's hometown. What are you doing in Boston? I use six shows at laughs. Whoa! All right.

Go to danceoder.com for tickets in Boston this weekend. You might say you're shipping up to Boston. All right, so I gotta get out of here. We can't end on that. I don't. You're shipping up to Boston. All right, so I gotta get out of here. We can't end on that. I know. Can't him out. Seriously, we're going to ask you a serious question. Next year, are we going to do it live again?

Are we going to go back and do it? Oh, we're never doing this again. These candles suck. If we do this, we're gonna do it outside in the park. That'd be fun. Actually, almost people fucking with us. Do you know how much this crowd sucked? The real Santa Claus show up and they were like, eh.

Yeah. No, I think you guys are looking at them like, when you got nothing. Yeah, Santa got nothing. That Santa showed up? Yeah. It was what? It was what? It was Santa. That Santa showed up. It was what? What?

It was Santa. You're an asshole. Yeah, all right. I'll give you where it. She's like, fuck you, yeah. All right. Oh, boy, we're really limping to her face. I just realized that there's a brown version here.

Just now, what's up, Bess? How are you? This is fucking great. I don't feel well now. Well, she's a really thick here just now what's up, Biss how are you this is fucking great I feel I don't feel one now well she's a really thick accent it's hilarious yeah she just turned that on that's not her point center she was on her team a second ago now you go yeah you mean the yeah

Dominican Republic hey yeah I'm familiar that's it's in the Caribbean it's still not a third world country it actually is. Oh shit sorry. Maybe you've heard of David Ortiz. Hey Turamartinas. How's my anunciation? Hey Turamartinas. Bad? How should he say it bad role Martinez That's what I said why did that what did that make my dick jump? I can't watch this help All right listen fuckers Joe list I need... Okay, it's fun, Claire! Alright, listen, fuckers. Joe Lists... Yeah?

Joe Lists! Thank you. Lewis Gomez. Lewis J. Gomez. This is my favorite. Can't sell it up. Bruster Roll. Give it up for all the producers of this show.

Come here everybody. We'll talk about that for you guys. Thank you for showing up. You guys are the best. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. We'll see you guys next year. Take care. ¡Hasta la próxima! Ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan.

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