Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Yannis Pappas "Stupid People"

Episode Date: September 11, 2022

This week Yannis Pappas returns to give us a long day on internet con artists, keeping a high personal standard and sharing your space with your spouse! Right now, get up to 55% off your subscription when you go to Babbel.com/YKWD Visit BetterHelp.com/dude today to get 10% off your first month. Get the EXTRA 20 PLUS of YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid.

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Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. these back again. Old school back in the day. We're all starting before them all. I'm being right. Why can't I use this? This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up! You're ruining this. Break the bar, damn it. I'm sorry.

It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Original, original. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what, dude, it's back. This the last one up in the woods.

And I can't think of a better guest than the Greek dog himself, the shirtless wonder. The gorgeous, probably one of the gorgeous, prettiest comedians, most gorgeous, prettiest comedians most gorgeous prettiest comedians on the planet and this is all coming from his bio so give it up for Janice Popper's everybody Janice Popper's look at him look at him just look at him it's Johnny P the top the top Greek here I have money my boys outside I'm not wearing a shirt I'm never wearing a shirt anymore.

My woman's upstairs making a second cup of coffee because if someone breaks into this house, I will protect her with my life. So can she do her job if I'm doing my job? I have a heart out at 11 o'clock because my hooves are on my Bugatti. Dude, what the fuck man? That's how you get attention on the Bugatti. Dude, what the fuck man? That's how you get attention on the internet now.

You have to have a Bugatti, you have to say it, Bugatti, and you have to have money, and you've got to have hosts. And you've got to be the top green, the top green. Dude, what's going on? What's happening with this fucking world? You see they they they bring you up. You do all the stupid shit. You stay out of this dumb stuff. They bring you now in hyper speed. I mean, it's like, it's instantaneous. And then you rise quick, you fall quick. But yeah, I mean, you know, you're right now everyone's competing with billions and billions and billions of people trying to get attention. So you got to get yourself some sort of weird hat sunglasses shirt. You got to get yourself some sort of weird hat sunglasses shirt. I did a whole podcast with Eva Lovey's fleshlight.

And I was fingering her fleshlight the whole time during the episode. I mean, I had to blur it for YouTube, you know, because YouTube will show a beheading video or like, you know, people get run over by cars in Guatemala when they try to charge at you. But, you know, God forbid, I finger evil-uvian effort. I mean, I fucked that thing. I didn't put it on camera. They should be happy that I didn't show when I fucked that thing. I had to throw my flashlight away because I didn't want to come out and see Max playing

with it like a gun. Just have his arm in it. Dad, look at this. Yeah, I had evil of you on my pod and she brought me that as a gift. And I'd be lying if I say I didn't, I had never had sex with a flesh life, but I did test it. You did? I did test it. Yeah. And it's not good. Well, it was decent.

I'm not gonna say it was bad. I mean, it was decent. It was just was a little weird sitting there, you know, doing that, but it was decent. Here's the problem with it. Here's the problem with it. God, you can't really concentrate because God forbid your wife opens the door or your daughter

opens the door and that's the image she has of you holding flesh light and just pumping into it. That will ruin a child's life. I still remember the kid around the corner on Tyler Ave. Ricky when I opened the back, I slept over his house for the first time and I opened the bathroom door and his dad was taking a dump, just an evil dump. And I saw his, his, his hog and, and he just screamed at me, get the bug out there. It still affects me to this day. I do not go into a bathroom before, I don't even, in my house, I knock on the door before I go in.

I was just thinking of, yeah, when you started that sentence with my friend Ricky, does anyone embossed and just use their regular name or is it, you have to put it on everything. Even if your name is like, Janice, it's Janiki. Janice is my boy. This is Tommy Bobby, Johnny fucking Billy Robbie. Even the females. This is Maggie. This is Peggy. This is Peggy. Boirene. Yeah, maybe we got a valid point. You get a point. Listen, yeah, there's something in the woods today, something big.

I've been out here for the half hour and Don was out here and something's moving around. So if you see me, if you see me hustling and I have to leave the podcast, I apologize, just close it out. Because something. Well, it's something big out there. It's not you, baby, you looking great.

Thank you, baby. Listen, great. Thank you, baby. Listen, but you're right about this. This, this, what was I Andrew Tate? Is that his name? And you take the top G.A. Well, I don't know. I don't know. This guy came out of nowhere.

I've never even seen this guy. Came out of nowhere. I'm like, is this guy for real? This is outrageous. This guy is just saying I rage a shit. And then I look and he's actually, for real? This is outrageous. This guy's just saying, I rage a shit. And then I look and he's actually, he's a kickboxer. You know, he's gotten knocked out a couple times. He talks shit.

He's not a not tough guy, you know what I mean? And he supposedly has all this money. I don't know where the money came from. I don't know any of this shit. And then he's in my life. And then now he's in my life. And then he's out of my life and then be he's in my life and then be now he's in my life And then he's out of my life as quick as he was in my life. I can't see anything on him now Yeah, he's um

There he is right there. He his dad was like a professional chess player and Yeah, he was a kickboxer. I don't think he was like in all the leagues though He did some professional kickboxing, but you know, he's very kickboxer. I don't think he was like in all the leagues though. He did some professional kickboxing, but he's very entertaining, he's very funny. And yeah, he's like Jordan Peterson for retards. You know, he just kind of talks about how you got to be like a man and women are like, it's like hyper alpha, hyper masculine. Like I'm telling it like it is entertaining.

When he got in trouble, he said he was playing a comedy character. He doesn't mean all the things he says, which maybe it kind of is kind of isn't who knows. But the situation is he made his money doing like a Cam Girl business. So he does like a Cam Girl business and then he started a hustler university, which is like an online course. It's a basically a pyramid scheme, but it's sort of, you gotta give the guy credit. So people pay like 50 bucks a month and they get to talk to probably him

doing different voices, acting as all the professors there. They give him 50 bucks a month and he teaches them how to be a top G, how to make money, how to be hyper masculine, how to go to the gym, how to get your life together. You know, those are your two options. This voice here or clean your room or fucking curb it the frog telling you to get your life together. So, and then he had other people who, the people who joined his university, he had them make content, make, cut up his podcast appearances and put him everywhere. So they were just like, it was like a pyramid scheme of content.

And that's how he broke the algorithm with like a pyramid scheme of content where like everyone was posting his videos on his behalf. So that's why they were everywhere. So you got to give him credit. I mean, you know, he's smart and he's smart in this new type of world where, you know, you got to figure out some sort of scam or some sort of bullshit entertainment scheme on the internet to get attention. And he did it because, you know, like I said, you're competing with so many people trying to get attention. So to win over the algorithm isn't easy. Isn't easy. The thing that this should expose is that the algorithm

wants garbage. That you know, the tech companies, yeah, they're yelling at him, they're yelling at him. They're going like, you're the one that made him. It's like, you're the one that made him is your algorithms and your infrastructure and what it wants is what made him. It's like when people in Hollywood yell about gun control, it's like,

you created a disculture or at least reinforced it heavily by all your movies, which can basically be summed up as being described as diving gun guy. That's every movie. But didn't they create it by starving the people of it? You understand? So they they they by starving the people of it? You understand? So they starved the people, we don't get that content. We don't, when I was a kid,

the biggest video at the store was faces of death because you never saw violence, you never saw blood like that, you never saw real shit like that. So you wanted to get this video. It was never in people out and then that's the same thing with the UFC. The UFC came out and it was like, oh my god, these people are really beating the fuck out of each other. And you go into the video store and you could never get UFC one because it was always out and it built this I we got to have this thing because they don't give it to us.

So them starving us on this type of asshole. Well, massage, there's no massagingism. You can't find any guy talking shit about women. There's nobody talking shit about anybody except white dudes are getting, that's about it. You know, white people, you know, you, so you get this guy talking shit about women and it's like even women are kind of attractive that even women I like well finally there's a man Calling us out on our bullshit, you know, so all of a sudden he breaks the out of the rear rhythm because People are starving for because they don't have it

Don't you think that we would if he was around don't you think we would sus a asshole hole like that out if we if we if you if it wasn't illegal to talk shit about women How they're fun ruiners You know, I mean how they suck the life out of a good time Yeah, I think I think that's true. I think I would well you can't even you can't even say that a I know what you do. Well, you can't even say that a man who transitioned two years ago to become a woman competing in women's high level sports is wrong. So I agree with you in that sense.

Like, nobody can even say that, or you're considered to be some type of hateful person. So in that climate, yes, the only person that creates this sort of, this need for someone to say it. And usually the yes, the only person that creates this sort of this need for someone to say it and usually the people, the only ones who would say it are crazy enough to go all the way and say other stuff. It's the same reason why Candace Owens or all these people become popular is because they say, you know, 50% to 70% of what they say is what everyone's thinking. They're just scared to say it because they don't want to

Get Docs or or look down upon so it's not even left to that It's not even that you don't want to I mean yes, you don't want to get docs. You don't want to be attacked You don't want to whatever deal with the cut, but it's like I Think most of us have too much shit going on, you understand? To deal with that. So it's like, okay, YouTube, I would like to say whatever the fuck I want on YouTube. I would like to do whatever the fuck I want. But I don't have the fucking, the hard drive space to deal with those conversations with mush and fucking dealing with that bullshit

and you know, whatever money that is losing that money, it's like, I got a kid to deal with. Are we going to story time today? Are we going to the fucking mountain roller coaster? And then where am I taking them for dinner? And then what are we going to do tonight? And then what are we leaving? We're going to stop.

It's like, I have so much, I can only deal with this, but it seems like these people just are hyper focused on this one thing. Fuck family, fuck friends, no kids. Don't give a fuck about any of that. I'm going to go do this shit and say this shit and deal with this tsunami of horseshit that's going to come my way. And then filter out parcel out the fans to the haters and make all that money or deal with the consequences. And all these guys seem to wind up in the same fucking space. Alex Jones, this fucking guy, once you go there, all of a sudden you'll say anything.

You're doing it like you say as a character. I mean, it's like, it's too much. It's too fucking much. I just remember the day when you were a funny standup and then you got on TV and you mixed the both worlds and you made a living and you fucking died somewhere in Vegas. If you're lucky it's Vegas sometimes it's connected. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so Vegas is that's a prestigious place to job. I mean, that's only the top guys die of Vegas. Yeah. Some people die in some of the off off beat rooms. Yeah, I'm going to die beat ribs. Yeah. I'm a little bit down in Florida. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I agree with you.

I agree with you. It's a good brain. Your brain works different. Like my brain does it. Like you and Tim Dylan and Rogan, I just shelt, sorry, your brain works. And like you like this shit. You like figuring this shit out like figuring this shit like this shit

gives me anxiety and I want to fucking punch somebody in the face right well. Yeah, I mean that's not your fault. I mean you're a kid from Boston you know it's fucking at some point you guys want to handle problems by fucking punching somebody to face when And that goes back to being Irish. I mean, Irish families, you know, they would go down the father would go, okay, you got a fucking problem. Bobby's got a fucking problem. You put the mits on, you put the mits on with Tommy and Ricky and Tommy go downstairs and they fucking do it out. And I'll referee it, right? So that's kind of, that's kind of how the Irish solve problems going back to the beginning of time. They get frustrated. They go like, I don't want to talk about this.

And you guys don't want to talk because you push everything down. So you just find it out until it's over. Dude, I know you, I know you've got to put this totally make sense. This is a, this solves a lot of problems for me right now. makes sense. This is very, this solves a lot of problems for me right now. Because I'm not, I'm not kidding. Like I always wondered why I never could, I don't give a fuck about what's going on in the world. I only really give a fuck about what's going on in my world. You know what I mean? But there's some people who can take on the world whatever comes in and like,

this is great, but my brain is so overwhelmed with my shit that I'm just like, do go fuck, I don't give a fuck. You wanna, you wanna talk it and take a fucking breaststroke and beat a bunch of brods, swimming, I don't give a shit, God. If someone let you do it, if the people in charge of that sport say it's okay, I don't give a fuck about female swimming. I just don't.

So if the people in charge said, you know what, we're going to let Gary or Camille, whatever name is, you know, a trans male, and you let them beat all the women, why do I give a fuck about that? Why does that matter in my world? My world is right here, right? If it affects Max, if it affects Dawn, then I'll have something to say. But as far as the other shit goes,

I think most people are like me. Am I correct? Absolutely, most people are like me. Am I correct? Absolutely, most people are like you. Most people are like you. Most people are sitting out in the middle of the woods like the Unibom or smoking a cigar at 10, 19 in the morning. You just got back off the road from Cincinnati doing gigs. Most people are just like Bobby Kelly.

That's a good shot. Yeah, shooting guns. Max Max was shot by the way, the bulls eye. Yeah, do it. I would know. I do agree with you. I think ultimately most people are like you and they're only concerned with their sphere, with their world. And that's a good thing. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's, you know, mind, people should be minding their own business a little bit more, but the internet has us all in each other's business. And it's designed to add dick people to get more attention because it's monetized

now, especially because it's monetized. You remember back in the old days when YouTube was just as fun place where things would go organic, would go organically viral, there was no companies done there, Viacom wasn't on there, there wasn't any celebrities on there, it was just like, you know, some dude would do mushrooms and someone would animate Him what he said on mushrooms and it would go viral. They'll be a dog on his skateboard or they'll be remember that red headed light Yeah, or the red headed kid who said that you know, he was like yelling about how

You know fireheads or whatever redheads have souls and that went everywhere. It was cool stuff like that. And yeah, so yeah, I mean, I guess it's inevitable. I mean, I guess it was inevitable. It's more and more people got online. And as older people grew up and, you know, generations, they grew up online. I guess this was inevitable. I mean, but it's chaotic.

Steve Jobs said it in the interview, I think when he was with him and Bill Gates I think or some interview that they they he did and he said that It's when when the money when when something when something's creative When something's you create something that's awesome and people love it. It's inevitable when the money people come in They will come in and when they come in it kills all the creativity That that will die the product will die and that happened with Apple. I mean this new guy is fucking outrageous He hands us this he literally hands his phone. They made seven years ago, and we still buy it and he had throws purple on it

And will yeah, oh the camera oh, the camera's better. The camera was better last year. Just give us the best fucking camera. Stop mega pixel on the sub. They got us addicted to mega pixels. And he got that's like, dude, you get, you get more gigabytes this year. You get more mega. Who gives a fuck? I have in 7 million videos and photos on my phone that I'll never look at again but for some reason when I see a hummingbird I have to take a photo of it and nobody sees it. I don't even tell people to do that so I'm hungry. I'm a hummingbird nobody gives a fuck about a hummingbird. I got 75 pictures of a hummingbird on my phone.

It's it's it's And this YouTube, same shit. And these guys are, let me ask you a question. These guys are all hippies. These guys are all like, hey man, we all love everybody. Everybody, let's all be together. This is about fucking, you know, being together. And, you know, but they're really not.

They're just money, money people, right? and you know, but they're really not. They're just money, money people, right? Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Yeah, well, you know, that's the, they all, they all were created and operate in the capitalist system. So they have to be. So I don't know if I slight them for that per se, but yeah, this whole nut, ON to up, continue to increase your profit margins. It's all addictive. It's all

addictive. We're conditioned to be all be addicts because, you know, if you're not growing within the capitalist paradigm, it's equivalent to death. So it's constantly pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing to get more and more and more. And eventually, yeah, the lines of what's needed and what you want are blurred. And their intention is to make you want the things you don't need.

And so that's when marketing comes in. That's when they start appealing to your emotions to try to or create the demand by manipulating you based on your emotions. Yeah, you want to feel good. You need to own this. And that all started actually with Freud, Sigmund Freud's nephew. I can't remember his name, Renald or whatever. He had some French type of name, but he came to America. And he was the one

who wanted figured out, hey, propaganda during wartime works to galvanize and mobilize people. how can we use propaganda during peacetime for companies for marketing? And he's the one who took on, he's basically the father of advertising and marketing. And now we live in the United States of advertising where everyone's acting like a brand and marketing themselves and they've become very one dimensional online. And he really started it all. I mean, it started back, like women's smoking,

his client was like, was cigarette companies and they said, hey, you know, right now, women's smoking is considered gross. It's considered anathema, Edward Bernays, this is name. And women are, it's looking like Teolane. He does look a little like Mateo Le. And they said, hey, women smoking is considered gross. How can we change that because we're giving up like 50% of the population that could be

buying cigarettes is not smoking. So he created this plan during this parade to have, he paid all these like female models, celebrities to start smoking at the same time. And he, he tipped off the news that this was gonna happen. So women, women had their pack of cigarettes and they all lit up at the same time during this parade where the national attention

was on it. And, you know, he told them what to say and they called it their torture freedom. And then from that point on, every women started smoking cigarettes. He started paying movies and studios to put the cigarettes in the movies. So we're being manipulated often to want things we don't need. Look at that. And they use feelings. And the reason why it's relevant that he was Freud's nephew is because he used Freudian

psychology being like, the cigarette is like a phallus symbol and he used the subconscious emotions, the animal instincts of people, and they try to tie them to the product, like to get you interested. Like you ever notice when you're watching a Herpes commercial, it's just some woman canoeing, and your intellectual brain is going like, those two things have nothing to do with each other, because they don't, but your subconscious is going, that feels amazing, and that person looks free, unless I should take this medicate to, so I'm free. Unless they're canoeing in Kentucky, and then you run into a bunch of red necks in the woods and they make you squeal like a pig and stick your peenace in your butt and then you get herpes.

So it does have, there is a connection. Yeah, well that's why they don't, yeah, they don't do that. There you go. There's one valve tracks and look at that. What does that have to do with valve tracks? It's got nothing to do with valve tracks. They're trying to appeal to your subconscious mind to say, you want to be free, you want to have a good time,

and your brain just goes, Valtrex is good. It's the same thing when you have LeBron James drinking a Sprite, right? Actually, the last person who would drink a Sprite is LeBron James. But they pay him to go, hey, just promote Sprite because people go, oh, champion, athlete, Sprite, success. And they just, they make that subconscious connection.

I mean, if you went to LeBron James house and asked for a Sprite, he'd be like, what are you fucking kidding me? It's in my multi-million dollar contract that I can't get out of motorcycle. I can't drink high court, fructose corn syrup. And you know, I can't, you know, do any, I can't go to Vegas. So it's all manipulation and we fall for it. So that's what it's getting bad to wear. Even like Max last night, we went to bed

and I went up into my thing and we're just lying there and I picked my phone up for a sec because I had to check something. And there was an Instagram video. And he's like, oh, let's watch it. And I was like, fuck. This is like candy to kids.

Like he just got excited. Like I whipped out a Sunday up in the bed. Like that's how excited he got on a video of a guy flaying a fucking a fish Like he wanted to watch a video of a guy flaying a fish and then there was another one of a lizard and it's like We're addicted to these because it is interesting to watch some hot chick shoot an iguana in her backyard in Florida with a bone arrow.

You know what I mean? It's pretty interesting. You never see that. Your brain starts flying off on shit like that. And then to see her, what are they going to do? But there's such a method to it. You know, the certain videos on Facebook that say they're going to do something, but it takes so long to get

there, right? It's it you're like, Oh my god, come and then they get there and it's not a big payoff. It's like whatever. But I found out if you have three minute videos on Facebook and they go longer than three minutes and you get views on it, you monetize. You get money. So these people are actually fucking with us putting these videos up of these hey check this out Whatever excited and then they they pro long at they you know, they touch it

They open they take so long to open it up and and they're just Stalling to get to that three minute point to make that fucking money and I fall for it every goddamn time You're absolutely right. Yeah. The landscape, the tech companies, I love when they claim, you know, they claim to the moral high ground because really all they're doing is conditioning everyone to be creators and consumers of content for them to sell ads. So they have people doing all the work for them. And of course, you know, you can benefit from it, but not nearly as much as they're going to benefit from it. Obviously, and that's okay. They created the system,

but that's the society. We truly are the United States of advertising right now where everyone Is a version of themselves a one-dimensional version of themselves that they're selling online in One-minute reels. It's down to one minute now. You got one minute and That's how a lot of people are trying to make a living and that's everyone's dream to make a living It's everyone's dream. Nobody here dreams of growing up and becoming an engineer, a doctor, though, that we're importing all those from other places. Those are immigrants who are doing that. But America.

Yeah, we're constantly distorted, just those in other countries actually. Yeah, yeah. And like, so the American kid grows up. He just wants to be a content creator. He wants to figure out how to get something to pop online. He wants followers. And it's all it's all set up. It's all it's all designed. To to make kids want that with a very sophisticated, very sophisticated. very sophisticated, what do you call those? What's like templates, very sophisticated templates and algorithms and the colors, everything is very well thought out.

It's not an accident, it's designed to addict you to addict you for dopamine hits. It plays on the Freudian subconscious of wanting to be liked and all that stuff. It's the same. It's just the same old story. We're consumers. We're a country of consumers and that started after World War II and this is just an acceleration and a continuation of that. But do you think it's going to have, do you think it's going to bottom out? Do you think that at one point, people are just gonna go fuck this. You know, like, I love, I mean, not even just the social media. Like, I drive with my culta.

He's playing Pokemon on his phone while he's driving 100% at a time. He's looking for Pokemon. Yeah. I mean, do anything in Florida, huh? Dude, I can't even fathom it. Like, I mean, is there a bottom? Are we going to bottom others? Is this going to, is somebody going to go fuck that? Are we going to go backwards a little bit to go forwards? I guess, well, he's in Florida. So you can't judge him, right? He could have it. He could be choking a stripper shooting his AR 15 out the window while playing Pokemon and driving 90 miles an hour into cops will go, that's your business man.

That's your business man. I'm like a lot of men. Yeah, that's your business man. I mean, hey, man, that's you do what you got to do. I don't know. I don't know if a bottom's out. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

Do we all just wind up like Wally on some spaceship floating around on chairs, eating whatever we want? I think we get overtaken. I think we get overrun by a more hungrier, emerging world power and that world power is China. I think we can overrun. I think this is, you know, this is a, this is just what happens with powers, empires. They just kind of, they become complacent, they become consumers. They're living off the spoils and the labor from other places, mercenaries.

So this is nothing new. I mean, the internet is new, but the trajectory, the anatomy of what's underneath this is the same of every empire, the Ottomans, the Romans, et cetera. I mean, we're just, we decline first. So I don't think it changes like we pop back up and fix it. I think it's, it leads to absolute chaos and destruction. And then it gets rebuilt by China.

So tell Max to learn Chinese. Well, dude, first of all, it's past the point where you get to learn another language. And there's no way he's learning Chinese. Okay? So I'm having a hard time getting a read a book in English, you know what I mean? China is a farce. They need the dollar more than anyone else.

Well, that's interesting. What is that? I guess, you know, they're intertwined with us, and they need us, but they are using us as well. And it's part of a bigger plan. Well, I mean, look, everybody, we were the motherfuckers for a long time, but it was a very stra- being the top dog in the world is very stressful. I mean, you know, we were like games talk, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like being a dang cook.

It's like, you can't, you can't keep it together. You can't wear those that size jeans forever. You know what I mean? It's dumb point, you're gonna fucking have to go up a couple sizes. Yeah, at some point you're gonna get tired of moving even on conjunctions and sentences and you do a sentence, you're just acting out the articles.

THE! Open! He was giving us actouts on articles and sentences. A, person! Okay, it's a door. It's the worst because it was walking around his dumb gang signs. I mean, what the fuck is going on? And he was the first, he was like the first internet star, who was a comedian, very talented, very funny. But let's be honest. Who was it can be? Yeah, very talented very funny, but let's be honest

Let's be honest. Yeah, let's be honest. I mean just like you know Entertaining stupid people there's got to be people out there Kicking their legs around and move you know entertaining stupid people But I think I don't know if it's stupid people, but I think people like it's stupid people hang on let's say let me finish Let me talk to my people here. Okay, I think what people Some people they don't they don't want They don't want to go to Rome to get the best fucking carbonara They just want to go to all of Garden and have some fucking pasta with some breadsticks and never ending salad,

because they don't have fucking time to deal. They don't have the money to go to Rome. They don't wanna fucking deal with the flight. They don't have the time to take off a work. Let's just go down to fucking here. It's the same shit. It's a little off. You know what I mean?

And I think with comedy too, sometimes they just wanna laugh. They wanna have a good time. You know what I mean? And I think with comedy too, sometimes they just want to laugh. They want to have a good time. You know what I mean? So I think when Dane came out, I was stupid. I think you just perfectly described stupid people. That was the nicest description of dumb people ever. Yeah, I think that was like really just an absolutely great.

That was like a textbook, dictionary, definition of stupid, but you know, people want to go to Olive Garden. They just wanted a never-ending fucking breadsticks and salad. They don't want to go and get culture. They don't want to travel. They don't want to do anything. They just want to sit in their fucking little motor scooter, rolling around eating olive garden. Some people don't know the truth better. Some people don't want to know anything better because they're busy with their phone bill.

That's a good excuse. Let me tell you something. One thing about me that you can always count on is I'll tap out when I'm when I want to. But I stepped in it out. I'll tap out. So too shake. que siempre sea un teapot cuando me he... Pero no estoy en el teapot, estoy en el teapot. ¡Such Peruno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno, tres por uno. Esta es la tres por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del tres por uno en medianas a domicidio, solo pidiendo el line.

¿Saparao? tres por uno, tres por uno. Ah, no, no, no. Dominos! Pizza. Hey, what's going on? If you heard of Guy Times Presents, this podcast network is, look, these are the the ones with balls. They're putting it out there. They want to make people laugh. They don't care about, you know, restrictions or political correctness.

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There's a dozen of messed up series you can enjoy, wherever you enjoy podcasts. So get on it. Go to Guy Times Presents and check out all the hilariously fucked up messed up awesome fun shows. Nalek James, one of my favorite, this is one of the sponsors, baby. Love you guys. They have an ever growing variety of beautiful tungsten carbide rings. I love those rings. Sexy, they look different.

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All right. Thanks, dude. So this guy is saying, this guy, look at this Aaron H, our boy Aaron, and he was saying the trade deficit in China is 300 billion or 12% of the US annual. What the fuck does that mean? Who can you find? It means he doesn't prefer all of them. Here's the deal.

I would go to Olive Garden. My wife wouldn't, but I would go. You know Stan, I think I'm one of the dumb people. I represent stupid people. And I think I'm gonna take that on proudly. I'm not gonna fucking feel bad about that. I'm gonna take on the people that will go to Marshall's to get a nice deal, a nice red tag deal.

I like a nice olive garden every once in a while. I love fucking not knowing what's going on in the world. I love just fucking smoking a cigar, listening to a game and keeping my trap shut. How's that? And ignorance is bliss. I mean, hey, listen, I say it all the time. My brother loves Olive Garden.

He's special needs. So he thinks it's, you know, he can, I'm not saying that. No, but I'm just saying, I mean, he fucking loves it. I mean, to him, you know, it's like carbon. I mean, he doesn't know the difference. So I agree with what you're saying. I mean, but again, I think you're kind of proven the point. And I just don't think there's anything wrong with, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting more quality stuff and wanting more quality stuff, because when you open yourself up to more worlds, you do become happier because there's more out there.

It's not just the same, you know, breadsticks every day. I mean, some people are just eating the same breadsticks every day. I mean, they're living like my brother. All right, listen. Okay. Okay. Listen. I agree with you. I understand what you're saying. But I mean, part of me, I know I'm addicted to the social media thing. I know I'm addicted to certain things. But part of me wants to, if social media did go away, if somehow in the future it just died off like my space, just died. And it went away and we went on

to something else. I don't know what it would be. We went on to something else. I don't see anything replacing it. But I thought my space was the end all be all for the rest of my life. My space would be the social media thing, but where's Tom now? You know what I'm saying? Where the fuck is that guy now? But if part of me does want it to end,

part of me would love it if it all just fell out, the bottom fell out of the shit, and people had to go back on, you know, being talented. Or you know, you couldn't just get a million followers and become famous and work the same clubs I'm working that I took me 25 years to get into, to headline. But you're here, maybe on a Wednesday or a Sunday, but you're headlining. And you're selling out and you're doing garbage. Yeah, there's truth to that.

I mean, here's the truth. Here's the objective truth. The objective truth is that right now, there's a bunch of garbage comedians who are putting things out 30 seconds to 45 seconds that a clip. You know, they're they're garbage. Like a lot of them are funny-ish. They're just not that experienced. They're not that good. If you go see them live, it's not going to be that good. If you go see Bobby Kelly live, it's good. You're going to you're going to be laughing hard, it's gonna hurt. You're gonna get your money's worth. The thing that's missing is that you're, you're not a 20-year-old who grew up in this zeitgeist of marketing yourself and doing these little tricks to please the algorithm to fit into this zeitgeist, to fit in to this landscape and figure it out.

I mean, you know, all you gotta do is do it a little bit like you showed me the other day, you put up some, you know, three, seven second clip, it's got like a million views, that's what it is now. If you do that over and over again, maybe you get people to come out and see you. But yeah, it's, it's, it's, to reiterate what I was saying, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, to reiterate what

I was saying, it's, it's, we've been overtaken by advertising. What does advertising do? They lie to you. It's professional lying, right? It's LeBron James drinking a sprite, right? So now instead of LeBron James drinking a sprite, a sprite, not instead, but in addition, you have some fucking four-year comedian who's putting up these clips in little sound bites and you're watching them and it's pleasing you because it's algorithm conducive and then you're going and following that person because that is all you know. That's where you're finding your comedy and then they post it.

They're going to be at some show and you go there and all you're watching is an inexperienced comedian, crowd work fishing for more clips. So we've been overtaken by advertising. It's all shit. Cigarettes are all shit. They're horrible for you, you know? It's all shit.

All of all of Garden of Shit, fun rockers is shit. McDonald's is made of shit. It's all sugar. It's not good. None of it is good. You know, and people who say it's good are stupid. And I don't really blame them that much

because most people are stupid inherently, but they've been conditioned. They've been manipulated. And that's our system. and that's our system. I mean, what do you want me to do about it, you know? It's a good system overall. I want you to get sponsored by McDonald's so you can get a light that works.

Then this will be, yeah, this light just went out. So I can't, I don't know. But yeah, once I get a sponsorship by McDonald's's my whole tune on here will be completely different what will be you to come on I'll come on you know what dude and I'll be like hey Bobby listen You know Make is McDonald's bad no people are choosing to eat it. It's fast. What about the single mother who has four kids who can't afford to go to Carbond, okay? McDonald's

is doing a service to society. Nobody else cares about poor people more than McDonald's. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody And what is he going to do? The carbon is an open. There isn't a nice restaurant open, right? He's on the road in the middle of Kentucky, and there's a McDonald's. And they're there for him, and they feed him a nice hamburger of fry at a reasonable price. Because he's not making a million dollars. He doesn't have a TikTok account. He doesn't have a YouTube page that's successful, right?

So they do help people. They help people. They help a lot. The poor, not everybody, not everyone can afford to go to these elite liberal institutions like carbon. And eat in these coastal elite eateries, okay? So yeah, McDonald's is a champion of the people.

Cares about the people. Cares about that mom out there who's working two jobs has four kids. Do you think that, you know, back in the, two or four fat kids just fucking can't even carry their own backpacks that you chubby? You think that when I think when I was a kid I didn't know the world existed. We weren't taught about the world. We were taught about America.

You know, even in history, we really taught about America. We knew the United Kingdom were a bunch of guns that tried to fuck with us and we threw their tea overboard and You know embossed and went down to the Constitution and saw you know where we told the British to go fuck themselves You know what I mean? But we didn't know that you went on vacation. You went to You know, Hampton Beach or you went somewhere locally, you know, you thought it was World away, but it wasn't. We never went outside of the country.

Even the Brady bunch just went to fucking Disneyland. You know what I mean? So it's, but once we started going out and went now with the internet and then we know about other countries, we know about the world and kids know about everywhere and we travel more and it's more accessible to get other places. Do you think that kind of fucked America?

To where we were just America? You were, you know, town where you came from, you had pride in that town. I'm from Medfit, you know, I'm from Boston. I live in America, and I didn't know about the world. I didn't know anything about the world. Now that people know about the world, do you think that kind of fucked us a little?

I don't know if it fucked us. Is that what broke down that, you know, 1950s, you know, American pride, you know what I'm saying? Did that have effect on it, you think? I think, no, I don't think so. Oh, per se. I don't think it fucked us. I think really what fucked us is corporate greed.

I really do. I think corporate greed. You have sponsors for your podcast. Yeah, Manscaped. Brought to you by Manscaped. Yeah, I do corporate greed. You have sponsors for your podcast. Yeah, Manscaped. Brought to you by Manscaped. Yeah, I do get it. It's a man, it's that no end to up thing. It's that no end to up.

You know, there's like, we've kind of gotten, you know, you can either do things under the principle of interest or in the interest of principle. And I think you need to balance of both. And we've kind of seesawed all the way where everything is in the principle of interest. And people will do anything in their interest. And they have no principles.

And there's no balance. All the women in the chat are saying women live, women live is where everything went wrong. Well, there's little bit of truth to that. I think there's a little truth to that. I think there's a little truth, a little, little, little picture. You know, I think he's a little, I think women were a little manipulated by companies and everything. I think women were a little manipulated into thinking that there's more fulfillment in

being out there and in your career. I'm not saying it's not fulfilling. I'm glad women's lib happened, but I'm just saying there's this notion that a woman who's like a mom and a state home mom is like somehow Not fulfilled when that's actually the most filling thing and like my mom my my I called her my mom for a D in slip right there my wife I love Oh, that's it. I don't know. She's a shirtless, there's a shirtless Greek man's planning to women right now. This is great.

Yeah. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, right? And, but she runs everything. She runs everything. And her raising my kid, yeah. Her raising our kid is like the hardest thing I've seen either one of us do, the most important thing. Yeah, it's the most important thing that any of us do.

I mean, this isn't important. Huge. This is a time of... So, hardest is stupid, it's comedy stupid, what I'm doing, I'm making the money so that she can stay home and raise a good human being and be there for him. And I would never trade places.

I would never tell her that. By the way, I would never trade places with my wife, taking care of literally everything, everything. Yeah, everything. Yeah. And he's coming. I'm on first class. I'm saying no to fucking, you know, no, I'm good with breakfast. I'm good. I'm I'm flown. I flown first class so much now that I'm like, I don't even want anything. Don't give me free shit. You know, I mean, I don't need that. I sleep the whole time. I can, you know, right. And then you go into a luxury hotel room. Someone picks you up. You go in front of a bunch of people. You tell a bunch of dick jokes. You make everybody laugh. Everybody wants a photo. Then you go back to your room, smoke a cigar outside, and then you fly home,

how was it? How's tough? What? Cuff, I spent the day with a nine-year-old, and had a dragon on a Walmart by his fucking earlobe. He was holding onto a crossbow. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, no.

I think, like I said, I think it's good women work and they can vote and all that. But, you know, I think that, I think we're a little behind in that area. Like, you know, like women should have more maternity leave. They should have, it should be more, it should be more of our country's priority for families to be together a little more. So I think a lot of places in Europe are farther ahead than us in that because other places

in Europe are not as greedy as we are. Look, I believe in capitalism. I believe it's the best-wear you know, there is something to just the endless greed where nothing's regulated and any corporation can just dump their chemicals into a river and give everyone cancer in some small town in New York or, you know, the food, there's no regulate. Yeah, there's no regular body that's making sure the food's not poison. Women have, with 13 minutes off.

After they get pregnant from work. I mean, a lot of that shit is bullshit, you know, it's like you got to take caring people a little bit. You got to take care of the man in the middle. The dumb people. The dumb people, you got to take care of those people who get the breadstick people. People just look.

Yeah, the breadstick people. I love it. love it. Yeah, because that's the majority. You know, they're all the most like everything else in America. It's extremes. Like stream rich and people who are struggling to fucking pay for their health care. I mean, it's like everything else. It's everything. It's just politics. It's two extremes. Like everything's extreme. And now I'm going to keep my arms here because I like the way they look. I look good. I listen love it I was just saying when you raise them. I'm like well, it looks pretty good. Look at that tattoo. What's that tattoo? Shazam So this is a tattoo that I got. Oh, it's the wrong art. This is tattoo that I got in the late 90s. I was drunk and I only had 50 bucks and I wanted to get the

Full barbed wire and he said I could give you one link. So he gave me wanted to get the full barbed wire. And he said I could give you one link. So he gave me one link of the full barbed wire. It's a horrific tattoo. Is that after you started to use it? I got the name. I got the same tattoo as Pam Anderson, just not all the way. He's your breadstick person. You don't have the money for the whole tattoo. I have a fucking breadstick person. That's a thing. I'm a breadstick fucking person.

Listen, we get I get questions for you from the fans. I know you got he got a hard out at in in eight minutes. Oh, not yeah. Yeah, you got a nice hard on. So listen, here's a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. This is weird. Did you ever, have you ever, when you were a kid, used wippets? Yeah, yeah, we did. We're breadstick people, yeah, I did do that. You go in, you just fucking crank a couple of whipped creams out and just get stoned for like 10 minutes.

Yeah, we used to do that at parties and faint and yeah, we used to, I remember we choked each other out and faint. Remember choke and each other remember that? Yeah, yeah. I thought these kids, these kids are pussy's now. Like, if you ever saw, we used to, I remember that we would hold each others now. You'd hyperventilate, then someone would choke you out and then you'd wake up and your lips would be numb and you'd be spaz and everybody's laughing. They just they brought you to death.

Yeah, and I just thought it was so cool. Like you're just like, I remember being choked out thinking it was so fucking cool that I went on conscious and came back. And I was like, wow, you can do that. That's cool. You could almost kill me. I'm generation of metal. You have the 70s, 80s, 90s will forget mental patients. I mean, we're lucky to be here. We're lucky. I remember climbing roofs. You would just climb a roof and go house to house.

Like you jump across, like, it was a fucking mission impossible movie. And parents would see you doing it and wouldn't even call the cops or say anything. They would just let your kids jump roof to roof. Yeah, I think I know two people who fell off. Yeah. And now we live off, Jordan. Yeah, I think I know two people who fell off. And now they live off, Jordan.

Yeah, in New York City, some grocery stores will not let you buy whippets. And unless you're 21 and over, anybody under 21 can't buy whipped cream like it's fucking drugs alcohol. Yeah, the business reparting the law that you can't buy whipped cream like it's fucking drugs alcohol. Yeah, the Mrs. Reparting in the law that you can't buy the individual canisters like that. But you get you are and it's not illegal to buy canned whipped cream if you under 21 but grocery stores are misdetermined that you can't. Is that fucking crazy? I mean, humans will figure out a way to get high from whatever your thing is.

That's our number one thing. We choked out a way. We choked out each other out back in the 80s. We were choked in each other out just to get a buzz. Yeah. So yeah. There is, I was talking to somebody about this today. There is a line between, we would, I think our generation was, you know, it's just

in mind it was too lenient. Like, nobody watched you. There was nobody at the park. There was nobody, there was no supervision whatsoever. But now there's too much fucking supervision. There's too many nose. There's too many don't do that you're gonna get hurt. There's no kids getting hurt anymore.

There's no kid getting a broken arm. Last time I saw a kid in a cast was like 15 years ago. It's like, yeah. Like the parents are with these kids every second of their fucking life. And we're creating a bunch of putties, just a bunch of whimps that don't wanna do anything. Yeah, they're all playing video games, they're all inside.

And yeah, I mean, playing outside was like the funnest, I couldn't wait to go outside. It used to be about like, you just would meet and be outside with your friends. But going outside was the most exciting thing. You're out of your house, we played baseball, we played sports. It was just meeting up with your friends outside

and living as kids, but in your own little world where you were learning from each other and exploring the world and learning and going like, hey, when you think, you know, all the way, I don't even know if guys pass around, you know, women's, yeah, you go like, I figured a girl and then you go like, check that out. Yeah, do guys even do that anymore?

And if they do do it, they don't like it. Yeah, they don't like it. They go, God. They'll rat you out. They'll tell them, he figured Jesse and then he put it in on my nose. What? We're raising a bunch of wimpy rats.

They're fucking all rats, they're rodents. Yeah. Dude, I forgot. I remember when Dickie's soul fingered and grow and put it on my nose. There you go again, Dickie. Fucking Dickie. Man, he's Ricky's cause of Dickie. There we go.

We got questions for you from the fans. Are you ready for this? This is what is illegal to sell to other 21 people. The cartridge. Yeah, you just take that straight to the dome. Yeah. Yeah, I can't actually with cream is illegal. So yeah. Hi, there we go. Ready. We have questions for you. You ready for these questions. These are from the fans. Yeah. Okay, when the hyenas ended,

the honest tweeted, Chrissy and I will rise again. Are there any plans for a reunion? I'll answer that. No, no, there are not. I could take that one. No, that's what you call, you know how we've been talking about advertising

and marketing this whole professional line. That's what you call an official statement of the situation. We were, I love that you've hit, we were rise again, like you're fucking a phoenix. Like, fuck it. Okay. What does this say? Bobby and I was what character would you most like play in a remake movie or TV series? Bob acting abilities more than the character. What? Levering Shirley. Yeah, yeah, but am I Levering? Can I be Leverand and you be Shirley? I'll be Shirley. Yeah. I love Pepsi and milk. Yeah, that would be good. That would be fun. Or a co-jack. Well, no, you could play co-jack. No, we should do, we should do bosom buddies.

Just just like women. That would be a lot of doubt different yeah, I've been training for that my whole life I've been waiting for somebody approach me with that you want to do you want to do a pussy? Buzz some buddy remix. I'm like get me to that audition immediately I I am fully prepped immediately. I am fully prepped. And that TV show even exists anymore? Oh, no, it's just one thing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We got two more and more out. Have you been doing characters since you were a kid and how did it start?

That's a good one. Yes, yeah. I was, yeah. Probably much like Bobby, I had childhood issues. I had things. Comedy was my escape. It was my way to fit in. It was my way to get girls.

It was my way to, I was very sensitive, I didn't want to get into fights, my heart, I didn't want to be there, you know, I didn't want to fight, I'd rather make people laugh. So I've been doing comedy my whole life. And so yeah, I used to make my friends laugh. More recent one of the characters that we've been joking about, I've been doing that since I was a kid, I would imitate Rosie Perez. And I mean, that's not Rosie Perez,

but that's where it started. It started as like, you know, I would run around do that. Yeah, I used to tuck my dick between my legs and run around to make my friends laugh. And I've been doing voices and all that. I've been doing that, you know, my whole life. How did you, I'm a recent, Marisa. How did you, because, how Marisa, Marisa, how did you, because there's, you probably at the

beginning really tried to be a sexy Puerto Rican woman as much as you could. The towards the end, you just had the beard. You, I mean, a lot of times you just, you just gave up. I mean, oh, what was it? A character trace machine got older. Yeah. Yeah. You just start to get lazy.

You're like, all right. That's the popular, as the popularity wage. You're like, all right, that's the popularity range. You're like, all right, how many ate at 40? Okay, you guys got to be at tickets. It's a hundred each. Try and try to squeeze every penny out of this. I'll give you 14 dots. It's and I'm out of here. All right, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it. I'm fucking out of here. You can you can only do her for around 48 minutes. And then Janice, you want to come home? It's a dude. I know the weird thing.

Yeah. Go ahead. I'm like, you know, you were killing it. And I was like, you were like, the answer questions is, Janice, no, because that's the weird thing. The weird thing is, is like, you is, it used to be you did, everyone had an act and you did your act, right? Or if you went on TV, you were on TV for seven minutes

or five minutes, and that was it. Like, it happened once in a while. We make comedy content all the time for hours and hours and hours. This is a new type of like entertainment landscape where you're just riffing constantly and being funny forever. So in nobody, like whenever a comedian did characters, they did it for the scene and then they were done. Like when you watch Jim Carrick, he doesn't for a fuck and then he's done. It's like when you're

doing a podcast, you're fucking, you know, cause when I'm, to do the, to be the character, you have to think like, and then perform that, you know, it's like the reason why it's so believable is cause like I'm thinking like her. So when you get to like the 40 minute mark, you start to play with satinity a little bit

and you're like, I gotta get the fuck outta here, dog. Or else I'm gonna start demanding Dix. I'm gonna start with satinity a little bit. And you're like, I gotta get the fuck outta here, dog. Or else, I'm gonna start demanding Dix. I'm gonna start demanding Dix. And I'm gonna get fucked by a guy. I gotta get outta here. It's like, I remember feeling that on many occasions, even when we did the live shows,

when we in Angelo would go on and we'd be at like the 40 minute mark, kidding, I'm gonna be like, I got to end this character. Like Like I'm getting too lost in this shit. I'm gonna lose my mind. I'm gonna not be able to get out and that's a real fucking thing You can't be pretend to be somebody else for a fucking hour. I mean, it's like It gets weird dude. It gets so weird like it gets a weird sat on the spot You're in your basement with the wig on, blowing some guy. You ask like, what are you doing? I fucked up.

I went too long. I forgot. Is this still the show? I mean, where are we? I don't know. I started doing the show and then just, we got to that point where I was supposed to get out. And we didn't get out.

So I just continue to do it. And so I forgot who you honest was. I thought about an hour. I forgot how that how that was. I'm not him anymore. I need to get I need to do a show as him and to get it back. Listen, buddy, I love you so much. I'm going to get you out here. What do you got? What do you plug in, man? I'll be at Uncle Vinnie's September 19th with Mike Suarez. So September 10th is sold out. Get the rest of the tickets for September 9th.

And then, so Joe, September 24th, and actually 25th. And then that Grand Rapids date got canceled because I booked it on my daughter's birthday and my wife said, are you nuts? So that will be rescheduled. But I will be at the, in Boston, Texas, November 11th to 12th. And I'm getting a slew of new dates coming in right now.

I'm filling out my schedule. So please check y'all as pappascomedy.com. Also check my podcast long days. And if you haven't seen my specials on YouTube, they're free, go watch a mom love. Just was released a couple months ago. So go check that watch that. I really appreciate it, Bobby.

I love you, Death, you're one of my most famous favorite people on the fucking planet. You really are just a great fucking guy, which is the biggest success on this fucking planet. I love you so much, buddy. I feel the same way and you're one of the funniest people walking, you always make me laugh. And you ride the line between all this shit

but being viral and on the internet and hanging, talking about all the stuff and you're still fucking funny. So you're one of the guys that I enjoy watching on the internet when I do check out stuff. So, and you're great dad and you're one of the nicest guys I fucking know, just one of the realest people I know So I love you buddy and thank you Thanks for doing this of course and thanks for doing it shirtless which was amazing This is the way from now on. I'm fucking the top G baby

All right, I'm gonna have you a love you as fucking pocket pussy right here. Oh, please please next time Please next time. All right. Well, you can take off if you got I got to do a couple more things on here And I don't want to hold you up. I know you get a hard out. So All right, love you guys. Mikey. I love you, baby Huh, I don't do you have pants on? Oh Do I pants on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got pants on Okay, I did it for the bit All right, listen guys, that was a great podcast. Hope you guys loved it

Everybody in here Bobby was definitely looking forward to your Waikie W with the honest today You got them right man. Do I love doing show? I would Man if I could go back in time, I would do a show at Yannis. All those guys, I fucking love all that generation of comedians, Yannis, Joe, who's soda, big J, Lewis. I just love them all, fucking hilarious.

Just a great generation of comics that were all individually funny. Reminding me of a lot like the group I came up with, just they're all funny but very different. Make sure you check them out. Mike V. Schwartz is going to be with you on his at that day. So, oh, Hawk, just flew by. Where's the dog? Nice.

Why was Qu effing it? Have you seen the owls out there? Yeah, dude. Just fucking owls. They were talking to each other last night, scaring the shit out of me. That's awesome. Yeah've seen the owls out there. Yeah dude, this fucking owls, they were talking to each other last night, scaring the shit out of me. That's awesome. Yeah, there's owls,

there was something big out there this morning. And then a hawk just flew down it like, you know, I know, a foot off the ground. So anyways, go to comicwearable.com, get you new YKWD. So if you guys have any new logos for YKWD, if you guys create any stuff, please send it to us. Send it to me.

Fuck, the check spot is available. Right now, look at that. Click on that shirt. You guys helped with this shirt. It would have been wrong. It would have been, it would have been Fuck Checkspot's spot. Fuck Checkspot.

It would have been, fuck, the check spot shirt is up there right now. Well, so let's get that up on the story today. And also it's hoodie season. So that's the time to get your hoodies in time for when it actually gets cold. Yep, so. That's right.

Our hoodies are off the reed hoodies. Your pop hoodies. Yeah, they're awesome hoodies. I have a bunch of them. The not you one is great. The pullovers are awesome. I love the pullover. And when I was fat in it like a pullover,

I'm sure fat JC hates a pullover. But now that I lost a little weight, I'm really into the pullover. All right, here we go. Go. Owling Bobby with Max. What a go owling. What the fuck is owling? I don't know. We're going to look at owls, I would say? Owling? I don't know, it sounds perverted with my son. What do you want me to do with my son? Oh, fuck, you're weird. Owling.

Also go patreon.com. If you're watching this on YouTube, I mean, you're not a member. That means you weren't in the chat. That means you weren't asking questions. That means you weren't fucking cracking jokes. You weren't there. You weren't on patreon.com. So Robert Kelly. So guys, and you missed the bonus episode yesterday. Yeah, we had a bonus episode yesterday that's the only available on Patreon.

Bonus YKWD every week. And we also have YKWD, you get it first. You get Calthurian Kelly first. you get anything I do before anybody else and you get exclusive content that nobody else gets. So go to patreon.com slash rubber Kelly. If you liked the show, if you had a good time watching it, check it out. Become a supporter. I'm going to be at Soul Joes on the 10th. I'm going to be a laugh factory Chicago on the 23rd and the 24th. I'm going to be at

McKenry in New York theater and the 30th of September at Montchon theater and then I'm going in October 1st. I'm going to be at the Newtown theater. I got a lot of day. I got CB live coming up. A lot of great dates coming up. A lot of a lot of fun dates. So go to robbercalealive.com for all my dates and make sure you check out my, Mike V. Shores. And if you are watching our YouTube, the least you can do is hit the subscribe button, the like button and comment button.

That's the minimal. Just click a button you're in and then you'll become a supporter of that way. What else we got? That's it, right? We're done. That's it. We have the question,

that everything's done. That comes with my wife. Oh, Jesus Christ How about those? He's gonna be in a handful. Someone laughed at my joke. All right. Let's look at Blustery, Hyenas. What does that mean? I don't know. Oh, Blustery, Hyenas. You and the audiences in your show. What is this? I tell you, you scare me when you walk out, not blinking, staring at me, hammy a drink. The honestly you show what is this? Well, you scare me when you walk out handy look not blinking staring at me and hammer your drink like you're trying to fucking murder me Did you get my text

The dog was dying out here choking on something and I couldn't get to it Tosy choking she was throwing up Oh, I looked out and she was just like, oh, she just made an assessment. Yes. Oh, looks good. Go put a briar on, would you? The hells are watching. Is that owling? He was not like, the history of anas, you guys will be blustery are anas.

And then he described what blustery means. Talk and allow aggressive and ignorant way with little effect. So are you saying that that's what we're doing? I don't know. He was saying, but I think blustery just means you guys would be loud. Too loud guys instead of talking about history, you just talk about your opinions. That would work actually. You and Yannis could do a monthly podcast.

That would be fun for both of you. Yeah, well, Janice is, I think Janice is doing very well on his own and probably as a playful. Well, hey, you want to do a show with me once a month? No, I don't. I've got to be. You know, you do have. What?

Herpes? There you go. Now we'll talk. Take the subscribe, like like and comment off please. Thank you. That's a nice mush. I like being mushed. Yes, two comics, two cigars. It is fucking killing it right now. Everybody's loving it. The concept to comics any two comics. If you're a comedian and you want to you comedian and you get another comedian, okay, and you get the two cigars, the same cigar, has to be the same cigar.

You can't smoke, don't try to send us, oh I smoke this and he smoked that, who cares, we do. Same cigar, you talk about it at the beginning, the middle, the end, and then talk about whatever you want, just do a podcast and send it to us. And at the end, you have to rate it. You have to rate it. It has to be none, one, five, or a box on the cigar. Okay, and it's killing it. It's killing. We got our first sponsor already, which is not two comics, two cigars. Me and Ari Shafir are opening it up. We're shooting a next episode next Tuesday at Shaffir are opening it up. We're shooting a episode next Tuesday at foundation, cigars, and Connecticut. We've got a lot of stuff going on

with that. So there you go. That's it. If you have explained the joke, it's garbage. Well, that's not true. But yes, you're right. And then news in the special coming soon. What news on the special coming soon. What? News on your special coming soon. Yes. News sometimes you talk like you're sleeping. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, from Boston. I mean, really, it's just been killing it for 25, 30 years. Just funny, crystal clean, really great guy, funny guy. He's gonna be coming on the show very soon too.

So hopefully you'll enjoy that. We'll see you guys next time on, you know what, dude? Later. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad.

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