Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #548 | Nathan Macintosh | Eat The Rich

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

This week Bobby talks with Nathan Macintosh about his hate for the rich and why he thinks technology and AI is going to eat us. FOLLOW Nathan Macintosh IG: NathanMacintosh Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT / robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! / robertkelly / ykwdpodcast / ykwdudepodcast / ykwdpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got a, I do have a, now that I'm thinking of it, it's not leather, but I got a suede jacket. It's leather! Even as I said it, I know it's a part of the fucken animal kingdom. That is a, that is a beta man's leather. Is that what we're going with? It doesn't have the shine, I think that's what I like about

it, it doesn't have the shine of leather. It's a classic leather. That's better than beta man's leather. It's suede, it's a nice, thank you. I think as soon as you heard it you're like, that doesn't make sense. I heard beta and I saw you go, I'm a beta? I know, you're not a beta, you are an alpha.

What's funny is, I don't even, You're a Canadian alpha. Which is a beta here. American beta. It's like four tiers below American beta. Actually, in Russia you're a. Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back, you know what dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show.

I started social media podcasting. The facts. The YKW Dude Podcast. YKWD's back again. Home School, back in the day. Where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God help you ruining this podcast is so fun and crazy.

It has no rules. God, help, you're ruining this. Where's the barbana, man? Sorry, it's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original.

The original. The original. The original. The original. The original. The original. The original. The original.

The original. The original. What's up everybody? It's Robert Kelly. You know what dude? Podcast above the Comedy Cellar at the Comedy Cellar Studios. Today is a great day. We have a very funny young man. Always looks happy.

I believe he's not. We're going to get into that. There's something up with him. He's always smiling. He's Canadian. I mean, those, you know, there's suspect. We're gonna get into that. There's something up with him. He's always smiling. He's Canadian. I mean, there's suspect. Danny, who do we got? We have Nathan McIntosh.

Go. Go. Go, Nathan. I mean, I tell him, just say we're live. That's all. Can we, and I'm not, first of all, thanks for having me. I'm not trying to attack Danny or anybody on this side of the wall,

but don't you find there's a lot of people in comedy currently who like, not Danny, this is not Danny. I mean it's Danny. Not Danny, but you know, okay. It's Danny. A lot of guys now in comedy are people that wouldn't have been able to walk through the cafeteria in a high school without having something thrown at them,

like a banana peel or a cup. And now they, there's just little phrases that they, you know what I mean? Like if he was starting a race. The nerds have taken over. 100%, if he was doing a race, he would go, three, two, one, we're live! Yeah.

And people would go, what the fuck are we supposed to do here? Yeah. You know what I mean? But yes, the nerds have fully taken over. The nerds have taken over. They own us all. They, every open mic is just some weird beard,

some type of earth tone shirt. I mean, there's, you never see a guy at you. I mean, your outfit, you really dressed like you had a hit in the eighties. Fuck, I wish, man. That'd be great. Still, if I had, if I, I mean, it would have been impossible to have one hit in the eighties and live off that for the rest of time, just do Casinos. That's exactly what I thought of, 100%. Yeah, yeah. Richard Marx, remember him? What's the song?

I had fucking a few love songs. And I could do, and I could do, and I could do. It's his whole legacy right there. I'm waiting for you. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever it takes, although my heart breaks. I always thought that was fucking... That's Richard Marx. Okay. Richard Marx who was the first guy to go I have my egg shell. I was like what? He was like I have an egg shell with my money in it and I don't

touch it. I live off other things. I love the interest of the eggshell. The first, the first famous person I heard talk about like when he doesn't make it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The guy was like, dude, this, this is going away. I'm going to go bald and look weird. And someday I'm going to need money. And I have an egg. I have an egg. But isn't that maybe it's not an eggshell nest egg Nesteck I was looking for I was gonna say was he the first fucking nerd that won because that's a complete that makes no sense No, no, no, that was you rock and roll guy got you that I heard. Yeah, it's like I need a nest egg Oh an eggshell. Yeah an eggshell Cuz when you said I was like what the fuck is an eggshell. Yeah Eggshells you don't know was the way they used to

say it back in the 16th century. They did, they said eggshell because they used to have to eat the eggs. Yes. And they, we need eggshells to have, to protect the other birds. Well I remember remember hearing that it would put eggshells around so the coyotes would step on them and you'd hear them Yes. Yes, protect. That's real. Thanks. Is it? Yeah. No, that's no thing. No, I just saw a tik-tok video about it I was being creative. No, there was an eight-year-old. No, no you are being creative because a lot of people that don't know this It was an eight-year-old. I saw that had a That had a whole... Very nice guy. Tell me about the demons. Uh, which, which, which ones? What do you, what do you... I wanna know about you, god damn...

Do you think that I'm always happy and smiling? I've never seen you not. Uh, yeah, I mean we haven't, I've seen you in like, passing a lot of times. Never... I've never, you know what I mean? Never seen you not... What's really funny about this... That!

Right there! I think there's a lot of people that would say the exact opposite. Really? Yeah! Like who? I mean, I don't know their names, but I mean, like, I yell a lot on stage. You yell a lot. I do yell a lot.

You yell. You're a yeller. I'm a yeller. On stage you have this, uh, like, fuck you attitude without saying fuck you right yeah yeah and I mean I have I guess I kind of have that anyway but I don't do that all day I can't live that way all day you need a leather jacket I don't want a fucking leather jacket you need a plaid coat plaid coat I might take well you can't even put those together Bobby you need I'm just trying to get you

something okay you need a raincoat on. For what? What are you talking? A raincoat? I don't know. You need an image. A raincoat. You need a thing, dude. I do need a fucking thing. You need a thing. I absolutely need a thing.

A leather hat. I don't want a leather hat. Okay. I've worn a fucking raincoat on stage, stupid enough. Burberry scarf. So how do we go? Are these the demons? We go, are the, is the Burberry scarf going to cover up the demons? I want you to walk in the cello one night. I want you to walk in with I want you to do shows like this

I want you to walk in and go what's up? At the table not on stage at the table, okay, I'll do this at the table bring it on stage Yeah, I got you bring the whole but have a have a character piece. Yeah Yeah, do something like that. I think a leather jacket on you would pop. I don't want to wear a leather jacket. Do you own a leather jacket? No. You don't?

No, I don't want a fucking leather jacket. Why? There's nothing about it that appeals to me. I don't know, I don't want a leather jacket. Why? Why don't you like leather? I don't know, but I don't. I'm not a fan.

You know when you're supposed to like, you see women in leather are supposed to be sexy? I don't find, but I don't. I'm not a fan. You know when you're supposed to like, you see women in leather are supposed to be sexy? I don't find that at all. I'm not a fan of leather. I'm not a fan of leather on a person. Some leather jackets are nice. You've never had a leather jacket. I've never owned a leather jacket.

So what jacket do you have? First of all, I keep all my money in an eggshell. So I can't get into that to get into a leather Jacket because if I was gonna get a leather jacket, I'm going leather. I'm not going pleather. I'm not doing that bullshit I'll go full fucking $2,000 leather Eddie Murphy and the leather outfit how much you think that cost by the way that outfit back then yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah had a cost probably Custom paisley uh-huh the first one or the second one?

The first one was just a jacket. No, you had pants. Yeah, but it was red pants, jacket, separate. I think the second one was a, oh no, it wasn't a one piece, but it was definitely more expensive. Yep. The second one I would say probably $10,000. The first one I would say probably 25.

So 10,000 40 years ago, what are we even putting that at? 75K? Now to Yeah yeah yeah. The raw? Yeah. The purple paisley? Yeah yeah yeah. Now? Yeah yeah. Now? Inflation? 75? It's like a 75 thousand dollar outfit? No, no, it's a 30,000. So okay. All right. But then he wears it, sweats in it, does a show? Yeah. Millions. Yeah yeah yeah. yeah. Millions. Yeah, yeah. I would love. I think you need an outfit. I think I think I need an outfit. What is your go to Friday, Saturday night on the road show outfit? You know what, man? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know. Don't ever do. How fucking dare you. I have a podcast called You Know

What Man. It's competing. You should do that. You should. It's just you. You interview nobody. I just talked to myself. She's you. Which I have done on my own Know What Man. It's competing. Dude, you should do that. It's just you. You interview nobody. I just talked to myself. It's just you. Which I have done on my own podcast. It'd be funny to start podcasts on like the Joe Rogan experiment. Just a little bit, just to get a little bit of a runoff

when people fuck up. It's called the Jim Rogaine experiment. I got a, I do have a, now that I'm thinking of it, it's not leather, but I got a suede jacket. It's leather! Even as I said it, I know it's a part of the fuck in the animal kingdom. That is a Betaman's leather.

Is that what we're going with? It doesn't have the shine, I think that's what I like about it, it doesn't have the shine of leather. It's a classic leather. That's better than Betaman's leather. It's suede, it a nice spy, thank you. I think as soon as you heard it you're like, that doesn't make sense. I heard beta and I saw you go, I'm a beta?

I know, you're not a beta, you are an alpha. What's funny is, you're a Canadian alpha. Which is a beta here. American beta. It's like four tiers below American beta. Actually in Russia you're a f***. Yeah, Moscow I'm a fruit walking down the street. Today's

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with house money. Bet on anything, anywhere, anytime, only with my bookie. I do have a suede jacket that I'll wear sometimes. Right. Just, I don't know, I try to wear something. You know what I mean? Because you're a ginger dude. The ginger is what throws it off.

What does that mean? You're a redhead. Yeah, I know that part. Well, how does it throw it off, is what throws it off. What does that mean? You're a redhead. Yeah, I know that part. Well, how does it throw it off? Because a lot of stuff doesn't go with your face. Oh, clothes-wise? Yes.

Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wear white? Holy shit. Disgusting. You're a cult leader. 100%. People think you're an alien.

I eat people. I get people to come to a shed and I'm like, give me your children so I can literally suck the blood from their head. You have to have banged their wife first for some reason. It always goes there. Yeah. And then, yeah, you can't wear white. You can't wear electric blue. No, I stay away from reds I can't wear. Oh, reds I love horrifying. Red. Yeah. Yeah, you look like a weird hitman. Yes. Yeah, like one of those custom hitmen. Like a raw hitman, like a delirious, dressed Eddie Murphy Paisley.

One that takes it too far, hitman. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I killed people that didn't even need to be killed. They're like, I killed his wife and his dog and his friend. You're like, why? I wanted you to kill the guy. Why would you kill the dog and his friend because fuck it? I'm a crazy person. That's why you hired me. You just stop wearing red. There you go. Oh my god

But see for some reason it doesn't look so horrible there on me. It would look absolutely terrible plus she has makeup and lighting Here's a problem outside of this lighting. I bet she's I don't know who this is I apologize if she was in earth tones like you right now. Pretty. Yeah. In that color. My Lord. And here's the problem with redheads. Your eyebrows go away. They never were here. I'm serious. They've been blonde this whole fucking time.

Yeah. He used to call me hey, boy. When I was a kid, because they were like, your eyebrows look like, hey. People used to grab them. I've had women live in Africa. Yes. I grew up in Kenya. You know that? I didn't know. Me and Obama. Oh, no. look like hey people used to grab them I've had women live in Africa yes I grew up in Kenya you know that I didn't know me and Obama oh no yeah I went to school I went to his high school like ten years after him no shit and I'm gonna run for president in Kenya oh yeah oh yeah here but I was born I used to

work with a woman who was from China and my eyebrows to her were so fucking wild Bobby she would pull on them and shit. She because she just never saw nobody in China has this fucking face. So she just thought it was like unbelievable. Yeah, you're a ghost. I'm a ghost. Yeah, you're a ghost. Yeah, those eyes you have you have. I'm telling you right now, you have like TV... Makeup face? You have TV face. You have a great show, for a show, you could be on a show.

You have a great expressions and your face and your... What I like, just two things I like here. One, you've waited a long time to tell me a lot of these things. Two, even if I did have a decent face for a show, my issue, I scream so much and don't smile on stage. You don't, dude. I don't.

And sometimes I do, well it's not weird. Is it hard for you, I used to be energetic, dude. I used to fucking sweat. You are energetic, you're pretty energetic. I used to sweat. I used to come off the stage downstairs. I couldn't do it anymore. It was too taxing. Now I put it where it needs it and I slow it down.

Do you ever find that your bits, because it's from here to there and you're just going, is there any time where you're like, have you slowed down on stage and has it affected the funny? Are you afraid of it? I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of it, you're afraid of it No, I I play with the speed of things all the time and longer sets I'll go, you know, but I put down yeah for doing 12 15 minutes going

It depends on what I'm talking about for the most part. Yeah now you bitch about being rich people a lot I had a special about rich people. Now rich thing it's called money never wakes. Now what's the problem with rich people? I don't necessarily have a problem with- First, are you rich? No. Okay go ahead. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? I'm a rich person who complains about rich people? That's insane. Well I mean- Why do I come off as rich to you? No, you'd come off as middle class. Lower than that. You're lower than middle class.

Wait. What are you like? Trash. Trash? Dirt. Really? Garbage. No.

Yes. Come on. All the way. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I didn't have a dad. My mom fucking drank. There was no money kicking around.

You look and dress and pretend. Like I had four dads. Like you had, yeah, no, you had two gay dads. That was my show in Canada. Really? Two gay dads. I was on a sitcom for 40 years. Were you the gay dad?

No, I was the son being raised by the two gay dads. Really? Wait a minute, you had a fucking sitcom in Canada? No, I'm kidding. Oh shit, you're a good actor. Two gay dads. Wait a minute, you had a fucking sitcom in Canada? No, I'm kidding. Oh shit, you're a good actor. Two Gay Dads sounds like a show. They had that. What do you mean?

In America, didn't they have a show with two gay dads? Joe's looking it up now. Go. He's slow, dude. Don't panic Danny. He's only done the job for three days. His eyebrows will fall off on a table, and then someone will try to kill me like a fucking caterpillar the no I did not grow up rich. I'm not a rich person my problem with people with like a ton of money

The whole thing is not about just rich people the whole thing is about money in general But I don't necessarily have a problem with rich people to a degree. Certain people I do, Bezos, Musk, Zuckerberg. Why? They're autistic kids that are changing the world and making it a better place. Bad worst place. Two dads, there you go. But they weren't gay, dude. You fucking asshole.

Well, yeah, I mean, they come off as though. I mean, this- Put this three men and a baby. Yeah. He's fucking queens in a castle. Who's the Paul Reiser and who? Who's the other guy? That's he was famous for a minute. What's his name? Greg Avagon. Avagon. Yep. Listen to me, dude.

You don't have a problem with rich people because I feel. Why would you have a problem with rich people? I feel what are they doing? All right. Do you get packages when you want them? Bezos is a piece of garbage. I don't order from Amazon. OK, that's stupid. Just because the man makes a fucking toothbrush fly through your fucking window doesn't make him a cool guy.

You're going to order some right now and have it delivered to the room. Go ahead. We're buffering right now. We're buffering everybody. No, we're buffering. I just got my kid a basketball. Great. Good. 70 people had to die.

Yeah, good. This man. One person will live happy tomorrow. For a minute, by the way. You buy somebody, I was a fucking child once. My mom got me a goddamn hockey stick because I was like, this is going to change my life. I hit a couple of slap shots into a fucking school wall and then gave up on it yeah because it'll be the same thing that

balls gonna roll down a fucking Jersey driveway right into somebody's Tesla every first of Jersey how dare I don't know by the way that basketball is just delivered I'm Westchester I'm best Chester best Chester this is why I was gonna say this is why you don't't wanna talk bad about the rich people, because you still think that they'll let you in. Buddy! That's what you're, you're walking around Westchester being like, I'm just like you! First of all, first of all, it's 30 years in the biz.

It ain't happening. It's not, listen, we're past the point of... Hilarious. Having a pop. What if I hit, like this year, I just become huge? It can happen. Yeah. I'm like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge.

What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge.

What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge.

What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. What if I hit like this year I just become huge. There's absolutely no way. If we're gonna show. You have no eyebrows. You're so clean cut. You're thin. You're wearing those pants. You are the gay dad. They can't see the pants, Bobby. This is my cross to bear. For the most people listening, to have a little context,

they are Raggedy Andy Pants. Yeah, they really, they fucking are. Yes, I know. They fucking are Raggedy Andy Pants. Look, he's a pant. Yeah. He's a pan. He's a goddamn pan. Those are doll pants. They are doll pants. They look good on you. But here's the thing. You're definitely the gay dad. Dude if we're in a sitcom and it's a gay dad and a straight dad. It's off character though. That's why you're the gay dad. I'm on character dude.

No no. Everybody's gonna look at you like oh he's a tough biker guy. No, no, he's a fucking soft Loser-man who sits in his goddamn chair Talking about are you do you do oilies? Are you describing the character? You're looking at me describing me right now I don't know. I'm trying to fuck you were looking at me going and pointing at things on my body Fat loser man didn't call you fat, but I like that you heard that I know I know that's what you heard What I'm saying is's what you heard. What I'm saying is you trash the rich. What is the problem with them? The whole thing, again, the whole special

is not just about the rich people. It's about money in general. Okay, what's wrong with money? Money, money's great. My problem with money is that we, none of us were brought up knowing any- Money, money, money, money. Great song.

None of us, yeah, the OJs are great. Nobody, we weren't brought up to be taught anything about money, and that is a massive fucking problem. Huge. Okay, but what's the problem with Elon Musk? He built a car. Cuck sucking weirdo who's just like a psychotic man that we've given a lot of power to. We haven't given him the power.

We have. He took it. Yeah, he did. This guy sucks. I'm just not a fan. I think the Cybertruck's goofy as hell. I think he's a loser. All right, Cybertruck is goofy.

Tesla's amazing for people. I don't think so. It's good for people. What people? The people that don't wanna buy gas. Okay. Right. We had electric cars though.

We could have had electric cars 20 years ago. Not, can I stop you? Please. We could have had electric cars 100 years ago. Did you know that? I did not know that. bring up the first electric car They had it for a hundred years ago. What Henry Ford? Did you do the first I think it me whole Ford?

I think it was either Ford or a Tesla or one of those fucking geniuses Uh-huh. We had the electric car when cars came out 1988. No When cars came out, 1988. No, go back. It's not 1988. Go back, dummy. We're looking for 1888. No, we're looking for 19 something. I know.

I was kidding. Yeah, there it is. Electric car. So what'd they do? They got rid of it? Yeah, they got rid of it. Why? Oh, fuck it.

I do a podcast. Well, you fucking knew this. You're the only person that knows that they had a goddamn electric sleigh ride. I flick through TikTok. Hilarious. Did you know? No, it's because I believe, I'm going to hack it up. I believe at that time oil was a big thing and they figured out how to make gasoline,

they figured out how to extract oil, gasoline from oil and make that and that's what they, this would fucking, they didn't need this. They didn't understand it. Why would we do that when we have this over here? Is that true? Did you read it? Why did they get rid of the car, Joe? Can you produce, please?

Somebody, who's on the computer? Who's on the computer? So I believe, I watched Jay Leno's Garage once and he said the battery life didn't last very long. And they were sort of marketed towards women, like it was a safe car for women to drive. That's definitely an oil company thing. Honest to God, they were like, what do you want to look like? You suck dick, pal. You want to drive an electric little car? I mean, it's still the thing. I know, it's so stupid. 20 years ago We could have had them too, but oil companies were just

yeah, but well Look if if if the Sun dies and the earth fucking cracks and there's no Sun That's really funny, and if that's it. This is great. I love that Well somebody at Exxon Mobil going like look guys if there's a a supernova, and we have no more sunlight. A solar flare. How are you gonna drive? Yeah. How are you gonna drive? You know there's people that would vote for that,

solely for that reason. Can I say something though? Please. They really do have a problem with it in the winter. The cold fucks up the battery. And a lot of people in those states, in Canada too, the Tesla fucks up in the winter, cause the cold, you have to keep it warm.

Batteries don't make colds Now you're against you're you're on my side. No fuck Musk. No, man. We're gonna more as motherfucker I'm not going to more dude. He built a rocket that lands He built a rocket that goes up and comes back down We don't have to everything he done is saving things is making things better. No, there's a rocket Look at me. Let me just try to sell you before let me just try put that away Put your naked your okay clean slate here. We go musk go We used to have rockets go up and then we dump a trash in the ocean

We dumped trash in space and they'd stay up there and then we'd shoot him back now He built a rocket that why are we wasting this rocket? Let's really you reuse this rocket. How do we do that? Oh, nobody's gonna help me do it I'm gonna use my own money To pay the guys to figure out how to do this so we can shoot it up Put the satellites in the air for way cheaper so the average company not just the government Can put stuff up there like weapons? can put stuff up there like weapons. Companies can put things up there to make things better for the regular people, like cell phones and TV

and communications. We can actually do stuff for the regular people instead of just all being on a NASA and government-owned shit. Privatize it so not only me, now other companies can actually put stuff into space that makes things for people, and maybe we'll get out there someday if we can go to another planet with these rockets

and make the world a better place. I rest my case. Two, two, one. Elon Musk paid people to do the thing, so he's done nothing. He made a bunch of- What do you think Steve Jobs did? I don't like him either.

So Elon Musk made a bunch of money Jobs did I don't like him either He shows you so so so Elon Musk made a bunch of money from PayPal sick, right? Then he gives some people to make some money for a rocket I'll say what's one problem with the goddamn rocket that lowers itself when rockets don't blow up. We don't get documentaries I don't get movies dude. It's exciting when a rocket blows up. It's exciting. What is it? Yes, you want women dead? I I kill them all. Oh! Whatever's in the ship. Kill them all? Whatever's in the ship. Hey man.

Babies. We don't know. Babies. If we start sending babies to space. Baby chimps. You wouldn't watch that documentary, Baby Space, where they take a whole, a maternity ward full of babies and they send them to the moon.

It blows up. But when they come back, it shatters. Shatters. Shatters. 10 part documentary series on Netflix. We get no documentaries when a fucking rocket, it shatters. Shatters? Shatters. Ten part documentary series on Netflix. We get no documentaries when a fucking rocket just lands by itself. Nothing. No entertainment.

There's nothing. Alright, you make a point. Also, what was the other thing you said? You have a good point. You saw me. We're going to privatize stuff to send into space so that not only the government can send it, I can send it. Yeah.

Come on, man. Dude, how great would it be if you could go into space and you had a rocket personally a white rocket with no eyebrows going up in the space never gonna give you love as I'm flying into the yeah you get Rick rolled if I could go if I could personally go to space yeah that'd be alright they are that's what dude they're how much is that gonna cost so how much that gonna cost I'm just gonna go you can't go cuz you hate rich people thank you and this is why you're scared to say it. You don't like them either, Bobby.

I know you didn't. You didn't. Love rich people. I'm looking right at you. There's. I love, let me tell you something. I love tyrants. Great.

I do. That's hilarious, okay. People give Steve a job. He's a tyrant. You need him. You need him. Okay. If I didn't yell at these autistic assholes

behind that wall right there, they would not do their best. Here's the issue. Yo! Pull up something! Something? Now! Pull it up! Faster! Thank you! 1808. Flockhart. Hlalalalala LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL like a rocker wagon first electric car I am 1888 I fucking guessed that remember first he goes he did and then I go we're looking for

1888 you randomly guessed it well I just put it a hundred years back 1888 one horsepower is perfect you don't need to go faster than one horse for you at the time at the time the fucking roads weren't real nothing worked yeah dude that's crazy, right?

Nine miles an hour. Perfect, perfect. Dude, imagine that, that's a scooter now. If you, yeah it is. That's actually way slower than one of those city bikes, the electric bikes. City bikes go 20 miles an hour. It's insane, you ever been on one?

I use them all the time. It's a party. I bought an electric, I bought electric. The company's called Electric with an L. Electric. Rich guy made that? No, it was a small company in Arizona. I bought electric. The company's called Electric with an L. Electric. Rich guy made that? No, it was a small company in Arizona.

Phoenix, you shit person. It is a little company and I bought three of those bikes. The best thing ever. You bought them all at the same time? Me and my wife and kid have them. They have a little BMX one for him. That's awesome. We have another one, baskets on them.

Dude, it's so much, we ride the bike, but then when you're going up a hill, whatever, that's the part of bike riding with your family. Your wife's getting it off. Your kid can't make it up that hill and blah, blah, blah. And then you got to slow down too. And you could make it. But now with these bikes, I say everybody get it.

It's the company electric is the best one out there too. They're just extended batteries, comfortable as all hell. It's the best thing I've got. Can I add into the ad read right now? Sure, right. Electric saved my life. How? I was, I had to get from,

I had to get from LaGuardia to JFK because I went to the wrong airport. That happens sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. I didn't look at the, so I get to LaGuardia and I'm like, wow, I have 10 minutes to get to JFK. Thankfully, somebody had left their electric bike... Folding, it folds....outside. So I picked it up and I... Folded it. I electriced all the way to JFK and I made my flight. And then I got to my business

meeting and closed that deal. Electric. Use code word dude at checkout and get 20% off your new electric 3.0 extended battery. It's always 20%. I do. I know there's no, don't put that code in, but definitely hit up electric if you want to talk to him, tell him I sent you. It's I have their shirt too. No, I fucking, I love technology. I love the fact that there's electric bikes.

I love the fact that, okay electric bikes. I love the fact that okay, you know, um Steve Jobs piece of shit Yeah, you didn't know how to write code, but he knew how to yell at nerds enough to get them to do it He's also a nerd. He's also a fun. He was a nerd but not dude He was banging out of wedlock had a chick never gave her money. He was a pimp. Yeah, he's a bad guy He was a bad guy, but you need a guy like that. You know how the the iPhone got invented? You know that story? Are you going hmm? Or you going tell me? Tell me. Yeah. No, no, no. No, I'm not tell me Yeah, I don't know if it was a confident. Yes, I do. No, no, it wasn't this was nothing after it. You're right

Yeah, well, I just I was like you I'm gonna do this again cut take two Do you know how the iPhone was invented? You know, sometimes when somebody says, do you know a thing, then they just go right into it, so I didn't wanna cut you off. I was asking. Ask me again. Do you know how the iPhone was invented? No.

Wow, that was too quick. You jumped on the clock and didn't even listen. I'm sorry. You just said no, and it was aggressive. Go ahead. Hey. Hi. How you doing?

Pretty good, man, how are you? I wanna ask you a question. Please do. Do you know how the iPhone was invented? I do not, please tell me. I will. I'll tell you this. Steve Jobs was at, him and his iPhone buddies

were at a party, and some Microsoft douchebag was like, we're inventing the drunk fuck, and we're inventing the first tablet. It's gonna revolutionize the world. We're gonna take over. We're gonna take over. We're gonna blow Apple. Apple's nothing to me. They were inventing a tablet, the iPad.

But they would do it, that's what they were doing. Steve Jobs got so angry. He went home that night, got the whole team flipped out. We're inventing that first, get on it. Everybody, we're coming out with the freak. Went through it, all of a sudden, they're in the room, they're trying to get this thing out before them Competition alpha male all this bullshit was happening

And then all of a sudden they're in the room and they're trying to figure out this thing They got it to the point where it was on a table and you could touch it and you know It was crazy technology that they forced like birth out of them out of this fucking Egotistical psychopath who are some drunk guy going, we're not going to make a tablet. Now he's got the greatest minds in the world. And then, and then the one guy was sitting around the room and he looked around and everyone was on their Blackberries like this and he looked around and everybody was on their Blackberries doing stuff and stuff. And, and and and the phones, the flip phones. And he goes.

We don't need to invent a tablet. We need to. He was like, we need to shrink this down. We need to make a phone. And he was like, make this smaller. And they were like, make it fucking smaller. Second, Tony Stark's the first Iron Man, when the guy was like, you know, just take that and put it in here, make it smaller. It's like in Tony Stark's, the first Iron Man, when the guy was like, you know, just take that and put it in here, make it smaller. Tony Stark made this in a cave. Well,

I'm not Tony Stark. Exactly. Made it happen. And all of a sudden, they came out and they changed the world. Changed the world. Change the world. When Marvel makes their next movie, The Apple Man, I will watch it. The, I actually, I have another. I have a. Do you understand, do you have an iPhone? Of course. Don't say that.

But, but, but, but, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? Don't use it. You're right. You're right. You don't use Amazon. I don't. Don't use Apple. I don't use Apple.

I'll say this. I use Amazon maybe, I'm not kidding, maybe twice a year. For what? Dick juice? Dick juice. Yep. Dick juice. No, dick juice.

Dick juice. No, I thought you said no, dick juice. Yeah, juice. You're using juice? Yes. I'll order both. I use it for both. What color do you get? dick juice? Yeah

That's a good question. I can't not have we've already discussed not everything goes with me. Okay, so I can't go I gotta keep an earth tone. You have to go greens or tans. I have to stop wasting time in the kitchen. You have better things to do than to chop veggies. Factors no prep no mess meals will fuel you up so you can spend more time on important things. The meals are fresh, never frozen and approved by dieticians just pop them in the microwave or on the stove for two minutes, heat and eat factor has tons of varieties with 35 different meals and more than 60 add on items to choose from every single week, breakfast,

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you know what, let's just get these. You stop cooking, no more dishes, no more messes, no more fusses, but of course, you know, she makes a great meatball, so I can't mess I can't mess with that factor makes sticking to a healthy lifestyle, incredibly easy choose from six menu preferences to help you manage calories, maximize protein, avoid meat, or simply eat a well balanced diet, head to factor meals.com slash dude 50 and use code dude 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code dude 50 at factor meals dot com slash dude 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. I have a, so I put out a special called Down with Tech,

and it's been flagged right now because I did a whole thing about Steve Jobs and I said he should be dug up and thrown at his kids. That is, what? Yes, and maybe that's harsh, but at this. Why would they dig him up and throw, why the kids? Well, you're right, it was fun to say, I get, well, what are we gonna throw throw our building now put it give him to Bill Gates

woof Yeah, put him in put him in Microsoft computers. Do you know he was here the other night? I'm sorry. What a little while ago where seller for what? Watching a show really serious. That's insane. I know yeah I thought it was insane too and everybody looked at me like I was crazy and I go yeah I don't know if anyone understands how like this guy is top two fucking people. Who's the five richest guys in the world? Bring it up now! He had a bunch of security guards but I thought it was crazy too and everybody looked at me like they go

well he's got to see shows sometimes. I go, yeah, sure. But you mean the guy that could literally build the cellar in a house and then hire us all to go there and do a show? Including you? He could buy the city. Including you? He could buy the city.

Couldn't buy the city. How much do you think New York City's, if you want to buy it? 100%, I know how much it is. It's $875,000. Yeah, I love it. I know exactly how much it is. 800, you went to, you were on Zillow? Yeah, I bought it. I know exactly how much it is. 800. You went to your own Zillow. Yeah, I bought an apartment in in Manhattan. That's

2.2. I'm talking Manhattan. Just Manhattan. 800. Yeah, it's not that. All right. Here you go. Make it bigger because I can't see that far away. All right. There you go. So read it, Joe. Make it bigger. Michael Dell from Dell Computer. Right. Is your buddy. That's your buddy right there. Who's Musk? Wait a minute minute and this is all in real time on Bezos your buddy he's down three billion right now that's crazy yeah he's gonna make it again by this afternoon Warren Buffett is number what looks like he is number eight ah this is all in real time it'll adjust is the day And that where their money goes up and down in real time. Can I ask you a real question?

Talking about his tip and all that? Yeah. Because we, let me, how much do you think, I Googled it so this is whatever, range. You're setting me up. No I'm not. You know the answer. I have, yeah, but I'm going by a Google answer so I'm. So you're asking me a question that you know the answer to.

Yeah, but I'm gonna see what your guess is. So you're setting me up. And I'll tell you the answer. You're setting me up. Setting it to fail. Because you know the answer to yeah, but I'm gonna see if what your guess is So you're setting me up and I'll tell you the answer you're setting it to fail because you know the answer There's no way you like rich people a person with this fucking much. I love rich people. You don't you don't you Here's all of you boys boys Cheers to you and your billions and cheers to me and my thousands You know what you just said don't kill me guys when you decide to run around the planet executing the poor, please leave me out of it

Wow, yeah, so happens when you fucking when you tickle the tizzy When you get the dorks the and I love you guys I apologize when you when you how much money do you think Bill Gates made while sitting in a show here? He probably made probably Probably 20 million. 60 fucking six. 66 million. How crazy is that? And again, this is just a Google thing,

so it's up and down, who knows? You can do it too. What do you mean? You can make $13 just sitting downstairs if you had the right. If I put my money in Vanguard, yeah. If I got a Vanguard account, the S&P. I mean look you can You can become rich if you wanted to if you wanted to gamble that and figure out the market get money

Invested in it it get a good rate in over 10 30 years by the time you're 60 You'd be a millionaire. It's not that hard to do. Look at the camera and say that again. Look at the camera and say what you just said. I'm gonna sing it. Please. It's not that hard to do if you are a

lucky man. Listen. You wanna full Andrew Tate there for a minute. If you take ten dollars, right, and you put it in an account, walk away. Forty years, you'll be a fucking millionaire. If you pounding women right now, if you took. All right. What is the rate on on an on an like it was an all right. What is it? What is that called? All right. All right.

All right. What are I? Don't fuck me up. What is it? What is that called? All right. All right. Our ARI. What are I? Don't fuck me up. What is it? OK, well, real quick, Bill Gates is now I'm on a podcast right now with Nate Nathan McIntosh. Oh, I love Nate. Hi, Nate. Who does it like Nate? Congrats on the special, Sal. Congrats on your special. Thank you so much.

Actually, I not that you guys are on a pod right now, but, Nate, I didn't forget about the podcast, but we have not done it. Okay. So, we may be going on a little hiatus, but, I mean, you're at the top of the list. I just didn't want you to think I forgot about you, buddy. Oh, wow. Well, let's record it anyway and just not put it out. Yeah, you know what? Get it down. Whatever happened between you and DeRosa, whatever mood swing DeRosa had.

Dude, I'm in Atlanta. I got a home over here and I got an apartment. We need to do more, dude. We need more. What's going on? I mean, dude, I'm in Austin. Should I move? I'm sorry.

Listen. No, two things. One, I'm happy to just stay on and be a third member of this podcast too. Bobby, the picture that comes up when that I'm looking at right now, this is like a 4k beautiful modeling shot of you. I got to tell you, man, you have, and I, I, I, I, I say this loud. You have model quality looks, my friend. Yes, the problem is, is that I have Sasquatch quality gut. Not really.

I have a barrel chest like the original Superman. Yeah, I'm with you there. But let me tell you, wait a minute. Your lips, your jawline, your eyes. Yeah, even even you have a perfect, perfect head for a shaved head. I can tell you then. Sal, what you don't realize is that... Shut up, he's complimenting me, Nathan. I'm adding in, Bobby.

Oh, sorry, go ahead. What don't I realize? Sorry, he's adding in, go ahead. What I was gonna say is, Sal, you don't realize that me and Bobby have already started a show where he's gonna be the star of it. It's called Two Gay Dads. Yes.

Yeah, but I'm the gay dad,'s straight can you believe that well you know what I can't believe it oh my god you guys maybe you should have the show how's that my three gay dads who's doing whose show what is going on you guys know my KWD right now and we were talking about, he hates rich people and I love rich people. I don't hate rich people. Well then you hate Sal. No, no, that's not true. That's not true because I'm not rich.

What? I'm not rich. I want you to say that and know God is listening. I am not rich, not in this day and age, not when you consider real rich people. Oh my God, but you know what I mean when I say do I do I have savings? I have some savings but have I changed my lifestyle from the end from 20 years ago? No, so just like I play white but I'm Latino. I you know, I I play rich, but I'm really not you're what

Why would you make that choice today cell your Latino? I'm half. I didn't know that. Why would you lean to the white today? You didn't know that. You don't, I mean, I'm just fooling around, but I am half, yeah. I'm Cuban, Puerto Rican, Spanish. You didn't know this? I thought you were full-blooded Guinea. No, no, half-blooded Guinea.

I like you even more now that I know you're rich and Spanish. Yeah, well, you know what? Let me just come out as my true self. A wealthy Hispanic. A wealthy Hispanic. So for Spanish, you're rich. You're Elon Musk of Puerto Ricans. What would be Elon Musk's Puerto Rican name? There'd be a different, you know.

Elon Musk Puerto Rican name? Yeah, it'd be like an accent. I don't know. Elane. Elane, Elane Muske. Brother, listen, I want you to come on the show. I can't wait for you to come on. Congratulations on this special, man. I'm so happy you did it.

And whenever you and DeRosa work out whatever the thing's going on with you guys and you get that show back on. But know this, Nathan likes to eat stuff too. Ooh, okay. And Nathan is happy all the time. Not happy all the time. Sal, you know this, I'm not happy all the time.

I know you're not, but you're definitely happier than DeRosa. Yeah. What are you talking about? Fuck. Patrice is happier than DeRosa and he's dead. Right now. All right. happy in the dressing. He's dead right now. All right, buddy. I love you, man. I'll talk to you soon.

Love you guys. Didn't mean to interrupt, but Bobby just hit me up, you know, when, when, and I'll see when I could do it as soon as possible. But sorry to interrupt you guys. Love you both. And I'll talk to you soon. Later. Later, Sal. Take care. Bye. One of the nicest guys in the care. All right, bye. One of the nicest guys in the business, Nathan McIntosh. Sal's a douche.

You, fuckin' awesome. I love the idea, he's like, dude, hit me up whenever and I'll see what I can do. That's the stock I was at, I'm going, okay, well. That made me think of something interesting. Nathan, at what level, what amount of money does someone become rich where you start hating them? I don't hate them.

$10. Eight bucks, yeah. If you can get two big extra meals from McDonald's, I don't even think they have that burger anymore. You, listen, all those people, all those fucking people, they're adding to the world. What? They made your life better.

What, though? But, but, but what? Did you do Zoom? Comedy shows during the pandemic? Yeah, and look, I always loved Mr. Zoom. I had no problems with him. What, you ever, you ever hear his story? No, there's a Mr. Zoom. Do you want to ask me about it?

You ask, you ask me first. Do you know about Mr. Zoom? I do not. I'd love to hear it. Thank you. Mr. Zoom. Yes. He's at a he's at a kid's birthday party. Yeah. You know, and there's some fucking guy, he's in the corner, he's all doped up on something. And he's like, I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make a website that you can show your face to other people across the Mr. Zoom goes, Oh, yeah, and then he goes back in his shed

and he's got like six guys that work for him. And he's like, we need a fucking website. We need a fucking website that you can- Is he Italian? Yes. Was he Italian? Super Italian. I thought it was a Chinese company.

Nope. You should look- Well, they sold it to China. They sold it to China. Yeah, but he was a very Italian guy. He had a sausage link belt. Oh, no. So he had six, six guys living in his shed and he was like very Italian guy. He had a sausage link belt. Oh, no. So he had six, he had six guys living in his shed

and he was like, we gotta make this fucking thing before they make it. Hey, the game's on. Game's on. Zoom, what's up? Yeah, so he goes, we gotta make it. So they stayed up all night and they're stacking prosciutto and they finally make a fucking website,

you know what I mean? And it works. Okay. But it's too big and he's like, we gotta scale it down and that's how we got Zoom. I don't know. I think it's, it sounds familiar to me. No, there's no story like that. You hate people above you. I don't hate people above me at all. That's crazy. Why would you hate rich people? Why do you get so mad at them? What happens when you get rich? I don't hate rich people. Hang on. What happens? What happens? Okay, here's a scenario. Ready? Please. Two gay dads blows up. We're touring arenas.

Well, we know that podcast didn't blow up. Here's a scenario. Listen, I mean, it blew up internally, but I guess always it seems like a host to start fucking choking each other. Not this one. Fucking longest one running. Well, it's you. You know what I mean? You have people on. There's nobody to kill here. Okay. So check it out.

Listen, you get a show, bang, I kill, worldwide success. Bigger than fucking Cheers, fucking Two and a Half Men, fucking Happy Days. Okay, yeah. So I'm flying around. I'm in Zurich. I'm in Switzerland. I don't even know.

Because you don't have to. I'm too big. No, you are. You make literally five million an episode. Why? Season. Wow. It goes 10. Wow. Ten. Ten years. You get writing, directing, credit, you know, producing for everything. You get it all. And then a company in the middle of it

You invest in a very small company that makes sneakers that become boats Boat shoes so that the real boat shoes. Yeah, like you thought for a boat They're boats makes people walk on water so people could cross from Jersey Uh-huh not take the ferry water walk and then they go back and they suck back up and they become rollerblades. Jesus. It could go around with your electric rollerblades and it has like a system in it that balances you. You don't even have to rollerblade and automatically rollerblade. They do your banking. No they don't do your banking. Come on let's do their banking. It has a phone built in that you can scan. Perfect. I didn't I was out up until that point Bluetooth speaker thank you you do like this you want to scan okay right you invest in this small company blows up everybody's got roller boats okay right

mm-hmm you make you the third richest man in the world right now. Wow. Right? Okay, yeah. Why is that okay for you? What are you gonna do? I'll tell you why it's okay. What, yeah, why? First of all, I'll tell you why it's okay for me. Okay, yes. My, I come from a very small knit community

of kumquat people. Yes. From the earth, right? From nothing, dirt, here, sludge. Ooze, ooze. knit community of kumquat people. From nothing. Dirt, here, sludge. Ooze. So I've clawed my way. I didn't hurt anybody. Clawed my way up to the top. What about that secretary when the boat shoes, it sunk, she drowned in the river. Because you didn't update the software and she was too heavy

I'll tell you the real reason you didn't realize she needed fat people needed XL boat shoes The real reason she drowned. Yeah is because I had an affair with her and you killed her Yes, cuz she was gonna go tell my fucking wife and I was like not my goddamn boat shoe fucking Riding around electric car bank shoe company. Right. So I had her fucking executed. But that has nothing to do with anything. That's a small price to pay. One person had to die so that I could become the third richest person in the world. Yes. So why is it not a problem for me?

Why is it not a problem for you? Because I'm me. That's why. Wow. Fuck you. I got there on my hard sweat and fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah. Sweat of my brow. Now I can ride a fucking $77 billion yacht through the ocean. Through the ocean?

Two fucking pools in it while I'm in water. Yeah, floating on that dead woman's body you had made into a raft. I'll go back in there and fuck her again, Bobby. Just to prove a goddamn point. You don't fuck with the boat shoe bank man. I hope that happens. I hope it happens. I hope in 15, 13 years or something you're just on the news sad, no eyebrows, crying because you're going to jail because you killed a

fat woman with your boat shoes. The first thing I'll do is buy eyebrows. 100%. If I ever make a dollar. And if I get to be the third richest person, I'm going to build six floors on your house for you. You're going to have a... I'm building you up. I'm going to need an elevator though.

What a prick. This is why. This is what happens with money. You know what I mean? I just gave you six floors. You want a fucking elevator? I don't want a fucking office floors. You want a fucking elevator? I don't want a fucking office building.

You're the fucking mom in Million Dollar Baby. What's her name? Hillary Swank's like, hey, mom, I buy you a house. She's like, wow, why would you do this? Give me one floor. I want to negotiate with a man who I didn't even be at your house. I hate rich people now, too. You're selfish. You're a fucking piece of shit. You fucking worry about yourself. You think you give something, but you're really hurting people

because you're not giving them what they want. You're giving them what you want to give. And it's not what they need. Thank you! This is the whole fucking point! Fuck Elon Musk! Hey, what's up? If you're enjoying this episode go to punchup.live Slash Robert Kelly the links in the bio. It's on my website and come see me do my stand-up live September I'm going to Phoenix, Arizona Love going to Phoenix and then I'm going to Cleveland, Ohio

I'm going to Las Vegas for skankfest at the end the month of September October coho's New York San Diego I'm going to Minneapolis. Then I'm going back to Point Pleasant, New Jersey. October, I'm in New Jersey, which I love New Jersey. I love the crowds. Danella in New Jersey. And also Morris Plain, New Jersey, at the Dojo in November. Wichita, Kansas in November.

And then Arkansas in November. So go there, come see me live, and mypunchup.live slash Robert Kelly Page. I got a bunch of stuff up there. So back to the episode. Enjoy. I think, I think you being Canadian, Canadian makes you a bit of a CIS when it comes to CIS just straight. No, no, CIS, CIS, CIS. Oh, oh, CIS. You're No, cis. Cis? Cissy.

Oh, oh, cissy. You're going that 1970s terminology of cis. Yeah, well. Cisgendered, S-I-S. My generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cissy gender. When you first heard cisgender, you went,

oh, yeah, cissy gender, for sure. That guy's a little bitch. He can't dunk. But all right, so because I'm Canadian, I'm a little bit of a... I think that you're a little bit, you know, you see these guys, you have to have like Canadians always have that trying to do the right thing, trying for the little man type thing, which I don't think is bad.

But I don't think that, you know, Americans were like, let's let's all be that guy. Yes. Let's all get there. And you all can. And we that's the that's the real thought. Well, it's not like we can't. No, you're right, man. If you just put 10 bucks in a fucking Roth IRA today, right?

Or play net. And you do pull-ups. Or Mega Millions. Oh, that's the best one. Go to a bodega where the guy is behind glass, like he's a fucking tiger in the zoo. Plexiglass. You slide $10 under the little thing. He's got a bat over there and a knife in his fucking jeans.

He gives you the mega millions. You leave, right? And then you win. You should leave. Two. If you win there, you're dead. Yeah, there's two cats walking around. There's a guy in the corner waiting to fucking shiv.

I won! Oh. He's like, you did not win, my friend. If you were in a store, yes, if you told somebody that you, yeah, you can't, so we got. You have to go to the nicest neighborhood ever. Westchester. You have to leave the city and go to Westchester.

If you win the Mega Millions anywhere in New York, right to Bobby's house. Get the fuck out, get out, I'll cash it for you. But yeah, you're right, man, if you play the Mega Millions, you know that a lot of those people end up fucking dead. That's stupid. You like dad. That's stupid You're gonna be not true. It is true in the fucking new fire. I'm gonna say Fox News and I was like, that's great You I'm listening. It's just Tucker Carl and I know he's I've been on Fox News now, but you listen to shit. That's not true

there's a there's Fucking hundreds of winner of the lottery every week and they're not dying That's to the winners of the lottery win like eight bucks Seriously, they went like a hundred dollars every week. There's the mega millions and Powerball millions. Okay, correct I I don't know and then there's the other lot like five thousand a week. I fucking hate lottery tickets I really do I'm a guy because because I grew up in a place where they were fucking bought constantly and I hate it You're giving you're throwing money into the darkness. It's bullshit. Canadians have lottery?

No, you're right. Trudeau comes door to door every Monday with a sack full of money to everybody. He blows you. Do you like Trudeau? I don't really have any fucking thoughts one way or the other. The guy has done some good, the guy's done some bad. He's kind of a fucking goof. He's also done blackface and brownface an uncountable amount of times. Yes. Uncountable, which is insane. Our two most

famous people from Canada currently, basically Trudeau and Drake, both have done blackface. So what you're saying, he's funny. He's got a, he's funny too. Well, he's got it. He's got that. Yes. That's a humor. Yeah. He's got that bone. Yeah. That's a bad parts, but then he's very funny. I get what you're saying Yeah, we have fucking what he called it. We have goddamn lotteries. There's also poor people in Canada for God's sake Yeah, but you poor people get meat like elk meat, don't you? Well, as I just said, yeah, we you're poor for a minute. You're poor from Tuesday to Sunday, but then Trudeau gives you a bag Here's your here's your meat. Here's your money. Eat another moose. I love Canadians. I love Canada.

How many do you know? I know you, I know Russell Peters, Phil, I know all the staff at Justin Ras. Russell's a really nice guy. Russell's the best. Yeah, he's a really good dude. He's the best guy. There's another thing. I'm really bummed out that you hate rich people, and I really hope you get rich. Keep going.

I really do. I really hope you get rich. Keep going. I really do. I just hope you get rich. I hope we both get rich, Bobby. From our fucking show, Two Gay Dads. You know this, this is a fact by the way. This is why I understand what's going on right now. I understand why this is all happening to you. What's happening to me?

Did you know they did a study on redheads? What was it? They're way more sensitive than regular guys. To what? Just sensitive in general? You're just sensitive guys. Apparently we're more sensitive to pain, like actual pain. They have to give us more fucking Novocaine and dentists.

You're just sensitive. Did you just look that up? Where'd that come from? Dude, Elon Musk sent it to me. Did he? Wow. He's pissed. He's gonna try to kill the last. He's like uh tell that uh tell that uh tell that sissy redhead. Yeah you guys actually all over the place. You guys are actually more uh you're more sensitive to pain. What what is that because your blood vessels are closer to the skin? Yeah it's because

we have less skin. We have less uh we have melanin, so you can just see our feelings. Have you been able to see, like honestly, if you look at my arms, you can see anger. You can see veins. Happiness. I know, you can grab one. You're pretty jacked for a redhead, too. Thanks, man.

I've been taking TRT, which I will. Are you taking TRT? A lot of TRT. How much? NHGH. Yeah? Well, how much is a lot? Because I've been taking, like, I heard it on a podcast Which I will. Are you taking TRT? A lot of TRT. How much? NHGH. Yeah.

Well, how much is a lot? Because I've been taking like, I heard it on a podcast somewhere and I was like, it's time to TRT. Now where are you putting the needle? In your bum or your stomach? I do a lot of places. Like where's the worst place you do it? Balls.

You do it in your... I don't want her. I don't think you're supposed to do it there. Well, that's what I figured. That's the manliest part of you. So I figured if I put the TRT directly into my bag, that's where I'm gonna get all the juice. It doesn't make sense.

Right? It does make sense. And then, well, that was the worst. That hurt bad. That hurt bad. Stomach is nothing compared to bowl. But you loved it though. Well, you feel fucking like,

Like what? You just, buddy, you jolted right away. Right? You can run right through a fucking wall. Like Kool-Aid? Yeah wall like Kool-Aid. Yeah Full Kool-Aid man. You got a special coming out. It's out. Where is it? It's on YouTube it's called down with tech and the one about money is also on YouTube called money never wakes You don't like fucking anything. I like lots of stuff Bobby. Why don't you do a special women are fun?

Women are fun. All right, there you go. I would do that special. Do it. I would do that special. Down with tech. You don't like technology. My I like technology. My problem is the tech fucking dorks who own everything, who are ruining our lives

and are going to end up eating us. That's my issue here. They're not going to eat us. So you you think there you think that they're like these altruistic fucking autism people that are just out to help us all. Oh, I'm making AIs so that you don't have to think we're going to be eaten. That is a one case scenario. For what? Why are they going to eat us? AI could potentially end us all. Right. Eat us. How are they going to eat us? Eat is an exaggeration. Nobody's going to come and actually eat us yeah we eat it how are they gonna eat us eat

is an exaggeration nobody's gonna come and actually eat us well then don't say eat I am out he absorbed what absorb absorb you're gonna be absorbed I'm fine with that but I we have you look happy good spit it out you get so fucking whipped it's the TRT man I'm telling you I said ball stop doing your balls I did it one time the balls and it really hurt. They swelled up to here. Oh, stop it. You do. Do you do TRT?

No, I don't. You got to try. I might start. My whole freezer now is just fucking vials. Elk meat. Elk meat, vials. I got Colombian TRT, Mexican TRT, and I got this new shit from Bosnia. Bosnia TRT?

Bosnian. Wow. That's supposed to be. I got Ukraine TRT. Ukrainian TRT? yeah, I got that Have you used it yet? No, I drink it though. Oh shit. I didn't know you could do that No, you're not supposed to I know I just did it and I like the taste of a little spicy and then it's man's come Yeah, oh is it a little bit a little bit of TRT

Cuz as soon as I did it my my wife was like, is Gary here? Our neighbor Gary. I was like, no, why would you think he's here? And I smelled him. He's from Russia. Well, TRT has a lot of man. You know that as what man man. Can we say come here? Sperm sperm. Yeah, you can say sperm. I just don't I don't want to I don't want to hurt any of the sponsors. You could say hot steamy child Salad. On the same podcast? On the same podcast that sponsors electric bikes? Now you can't. They're not, exactly.

Now you can't. I'm trying to help you. Cut that. Mine is 20% off with promo called Man Come Ball Juice. So they could have watched this podcast and they'd be like, this is good, man, that's great that they, what? Right at the end, they'd be like- Bosnia and TRT.

No, they're not my sponsor. Go ahead. I want to know what you were going to say. We could, AI could eat us all. I don't understand. Okay. So you're saying kill us. Yes. You say eat us, you mean kill us.

Yes, we could be ended. Yes. Ended. And also when I say eat us, I mean take all. Yes, we could be ended. Yes. Ended. And also when I say eat us, I mean take away all of the things that we do currently, all jobs, all everything, and we just sit in a room, now we get universal basic income. Not me.

Basically welfare. Well yeah, because you got a podcast. I go out in the fucking woods. Oh cool. I start hunting squirrels. I get my AR-15, my shotguns. To hunt a squirrel. My shotgun. You blow the blow rights. To hunt a squirrel. My shotgun.

You blow the blow right away. I got a fucking 177, I got a 380. Did you know this? I'm not fucking around. Squirrels are becoming more dangerous. Yeah. Have you looked this up? Black squirrels are more aggressive than the regular ones.

Do you know the most aggressive squirrel? What? The Puerto Rican squirrel? Yes. No, I'm serious serious black squirrels are more aggressive than the why I don't know ask the squirrel call it community the music it's the music I listen so stupid the fact that you're the smiley nicest guy and you hate a lot of things.

I'm scared of a lot of things and I'm upset with the fact that there are, we just let people run stuff and then they look at us, shiny-faced cocksuckers, and they go, but it's to help you. I go, wow. Why again did you point at every thing on the shiny-faced cocksuckers?

I don't understand. Again, it's the TRT. When it really starts coursing through your veins, every man is a, is a fucking, you know, yeah, he's a beta bitch loser. I mean, that's crazy, but go ahead, yeah. Wait, I'm telling you right now, you put that Ukrainian TRT directly into your bag,

you're gonna feel it. I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I wanna actually come, I wanna come and then mix it and then swallow that. Wow. How's that? Say that to the camera. That's incredible.

You want to come in your own TRT and drink your own TRT come? Yeah. Electric bike is gone. Can you stop saying that name in the middle of this? Okay, real quick. Yes, go ahead. All I was going to say, the two, AI might not do this. AI might, whatever, we end up in the best possible

case scenario, listening to a lot of people who have, in this fucking field, two psychos who are some of the godfathers who have run away, they're like, AI could cure cancer or end humanity. To me, this positive does not outweigh this negative. At all. Why? You push a button, you get your grandmother back, or 8 billion people are fucking dusted.

That's not enough. You get an awesome movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio. What movie is that? It's called Cancer Or. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I like this. Yeah. AI cancer. AI cancer. That's a good one. AI slash cancer. AI and it's her. The grandmother. Yeah. Can't hurt you. Go, dude. Why isn't there a fucking female pronoun for cancer? Why is cancer a male pronoun? I think so. What? Who knows?

Well, I've never thought about this until right now. Can-cer. Her. Cancer. It's female cancer. Cancel her. Breast cancer is breast cancer. Breast cancer.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I'm not, I like technology, okay? The people that run it right now, I'm... You're foolish. Okay. These glasses right here. Sick, dude.

Right here. Hey, Matt, I take a picture. Are these the camera ones? Yeah Stupid what do you do? What what do you do with these? I I number one. Uh-huh take video That's I'm an influencer back off back off. I'm an influencer number two influencer Influenza like influenza or not. I don't have the disease. Okay. I had that, but it's gone. Did you have influenza? No, we all have it, it's the flu. Oh shit, yeah.

Yeah, so. Okay. Yeah, these glasses right now, these are amazing. That's awesome, dude. Hey Meta, take a video. Boom. It's really cool. I know.

How's this? Hey, hey Meta, who is Nathan McIntosh? From Halifax, Nova Scotia now living in New York Nova Scotia now living in New York. Tonight's show night starring Jimmy Fallon. The late show late show Stephen Colbert and Conan and Conan and has released several comedy specials. From Halifax, you know the best part about your job is your glasses gave me

a better intro than you did. Now watch this. Hey, hey Meadow, what am I looking at? At a person sitting in front of a microphone. Doesn't know you. I hate, hilarious. I'm not a fan of those. Amazing! That's not, who cares man?

It's cool for like 10 minutes, Bobby, seriously. You don't have to worry about AI. Your kid does. minutes Bobby seriously. You don't have to worry about AI. Oh your kid does Okay. Yeah, we don't have to worry about it We can enjoy it. You know that guy one of the guys that made it that helped make AI used to work at Google X Yeah, he is literally like we could be five months from the end of it all. Yeah, and we'll not we don't even know So that's you and me. Yeah, we don't know. Yeah, but we won't even know You'll know you won't you'll be even. Yeah, but we won't even know. You'll know. You'll be on the show doing fucking eat it up with Sal.

Yeah, you're right. You're replacing DeRosa. Hopefully they get back together, yeah. Hopefully they get. Come on, dude, what if we really? Come on. You take his place, right? Oh, shit, yeah, text him.

I'm in. All right, you got a special out right now on YouTube. Called Down With Tech. And you got a new one coming out. No, no, that is the new was the old one money never wakes money never wakes last year is all about money this year It's called down with tech came out a couple months ago. I'm glad I'm glad that you're bringing all positivity to you This is your punch up dot live. This is yours. Bobby. This is mine. That makes more sense. These are my dates Where can people see you? Uh, going to be next in a while. I'm going to be in this coming out in August.

Oh, shit. August. I got a bunch of stuff. You can go to punch up live. I got dates there. I'm in fucking where the hell am I there? Houston, Nashville, somewhere else I can't think of right now. Go to his punch up live. Go to his punch up live page. Nathan McIntosh, hilarious guy, very funny. And please go there and go to some of his shows

and check out his special on YouTube because we're not gonna be around in five months. So the timer, it's ticking. So get to these shows and go check them out. Be funny if everything did end. Of course, check out Bone to Pick Podcast, check out the regs, and check out the bonfire in series XM 103 with me and Big Jay Oakeson, Monday through Friday. You guys are

the best fans in the world. Boys, what do you got? You can follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff and come to my show, Comedy at Verve in Somerville, New Jersey, the third Thursday of every month. Do you like cheese? Well, go to YouTube and type in the cheese show. Watch my show. Joe's slowly becoming a cheese character. It's hilarious. And make sure right now, patreon.com, we're going there. We're gonna ask you some questions from the fans on Patreon.

So if you want to check out that, you gotta go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You can ask your questions to anybody having the show. We give an extra episode a week, and it comes out first for you guys only. you're not you're on YouTube you don't get to see that but you can hit the subscribe button for me right now and hit like and comment and all that stuff we'll see you guys next week on you know what dude