Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #555 | Jeff Arcuri | Engaged The Bachelorette

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

This week Jeff Arcuri got the Bachelorette and Bobby wants to convince him to marry him instead. FOLLOW Jeff Arcuri IG: @JArcuri FOLLOW Robert Kelly IG: @RobertKellyLive Use promo code DUDE to double your money on your 1st MyBookie deposit. Head to https://www.mybookie.website/DUDE Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live. Welcome, everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day where it all started before them all. YKWD.

This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, how are you I'm ruining this. Where's the bar banner, man? Sorry, it's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show?

This is the original. The original. You know what it is. Welcome everybody to a special edition of YKWD Bachelor Edition. Today I will be attempting to marry our guest. I'm going to try to sway him to be my man and I'll be his gal. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this special edition, bachelor edition of YKWD. Welcome, welcome. Hi, sweetie, how are you?

How are you? Great. Thank you for coming in. Thanks for having me. It's good to see you. You look fantastic. Thanks. I didn't know you look great. I love the black on black on black.

Hello. I have. We have. Champagne. Amazing. We have Zinn. Great. Keep us going. Oh, there you go. Nice. Nice Zin. It's a blueberry Zin. I heard you like blueberries.

Yeah. Who told you that? You never mind. You never mind. Uh, today, uh, let's, Danny, introduce our guest. We have, uh, Jeff Acurey on today. Who is? Uh, very funny comic.

And two days ago, I think, was it two days ago? Just got engaged to, uh, The Bachel? Just got engaged to The Bachelorette. Yeah. The Bachelorette. Two days ago. It's fresh. It is very fresh. I mean, it's right there. It's the first interview. The cement hasn't dried yet. No. So I have time. Okay. Yeah. I have time. I'm going to spend this episode. Gus song. I'm going to spend this episode trying to woo you and maybe, maybe, Oh no. Maybe you'll marry me at the end of this episode. All right. We'll see. I'm'm gonna do my damnedest to get you You don't have to try that hard. I'll be honest with you. Really? Yeah, that makes me hard that you said

I don't have to try that hard already. I believe that there for now an extra point. She never gets hard, dude Yeah, she doesn't unfortunately. No in some cases, right? Honestly if she had a dick Nah, I can't wait till your publicist says you get it that out I can't wait till your publicist says you gotta edit that out. You gotta edit that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, it's part of my thing. So what do you look for in a guy? Vagina.

Vagina? Yeah. What type of vagina? An Audi. Audi. Great. That's perfect. I have a hemorrhoid.

This is gonna work out. I'm right on course right now. Man, I remember one time I had one of those. I didn't, that's perfect. I have a hemorrhoid. This is gonna work out. I'm right on course right now. Man, I remember one time I had one of those. I didn't know what it was. You had a hemorrhoid? When I was a kid. Wow, yeah. Why were you playing with your asshole as a kid?

Cleaning it up. What, with what? Toilet paper. And then I felt it. You felt it? The roid, yeah. Like a little bubble? Yeah.

And did you play with it for a while, not knowing? I was convinced I was dying and I didn't tell anybody. And then it went away. Really? And then like eight years later, I was like, yeah, hemorrhoid. I'm like, and then he told me and I'm like, I had one of those. And I thought that was the end. It itched a lot, right?

I think so. Yeah, hemorrhoids itch. It's like a decade ago. Yeah, you can get a decade. I've changed my ways. Way. Oh my god. How old were you a decade ago?

13? 27. Oh my god. How old were you a decade ago? 13? 27. Oh my god. How old are you? I'm 37. 37, and you tie in the knot. I am. Yeah, that's a good thing.

And you had a knot in your asshole 10 years ago. How things have changed. Every 10 years is a new knot. How great is life? 10 years ago, you were just a schmuck with a roid. You didn't even know what it was. You had a dirty asshole. I had roommates and roids.

From roommates? That sounds like a great podcast, by the way. If this Bachelorette thing doesn't work out, if I can't get you on my side and you wind up, and this doesn't work out, you can start that podcast. Deal. Roommates and roids. So now, to explain to me how this thing goes, man,

how do you get to the point where you ask a woman, how long have you known her? Five months. I'm gonna throw up. I made my wife, I made my wife wait fucking 10 years. Yeah. 10 years.

Yeah. As a comedian. Right, was she in the business? She's, I mean, she was a reality star. Okay. And she started. Oh, I mean she was a reality star. Okay. Then she started. Oh, this is going to work out. Yeah, dude I was on stage at the VU and it was the Village Underground for Comedy Cellar

and as I was on stage I'm like, I'm really excited about it, I think it's going to like, I'm really excited for this to work out. It's like two different tables, like their glasses fell off the table and crashed on them, like that's not good. That's not a good omen right there at all. Five months you met her. So when did you first meet her? I was in, coming back from Hawaii.

And I was on my last day in Hawaii, I fell down. You fell? I fell trying to save a girl. Let me explain. No, no, hold on. Let me explain. It sounds fake. It's not fake.

You gotta come up with stories. Let me tell you what happened. Are you practicing this for the Tonight Show? No, no, yeah, no. I was at, doing the Blue Note in Honolulu. And it was the last day, and we were all outside, and the sidewalks were really high off the pavement, and some guy bumped this girl, we were all outside,

like talking after the show, and some guy bumped this girl, and she went to go fall, and I went to go stop her from falling. And it was like one of those things where you're like trying to open a door and you misjudge the weight. Yeah. So you pull yourself towards the door. She was a chubby Hawaiian girl.

She wasn't. Oh, sorry. I'm not a strong guy. So she was a normal size lady and I just went with her and I put my hand behind her head so it wouldn't hit. You saved her. And she texted me like, thanks for saving my head. And you hurt your leg.

I hurt my hand. I got like split my hand, my finger open. So I was in the hospital for three days. In Hawaii? In Hollywood. Oh, you flew back with a broken fucked up? Were you on the plane bloody? No, no, no.

It was like a small cut, but it got infected. So my whole arm swole up. That's sepsis. I don't know what it was, but I was sepsis. It was just an infection. Say sepsis. No, I don't want to. It's sepsis sepsis. It was just an infection say sepsis not a want to it's sepsis It feels so my father died really. Yeah, I'm not a hospital disease. Nah, you can get sepsis from anything

I think I just I think I don't know Yeah, I was in the hospital for like three days and then they had to like open my hand up and squeeze the puss out Clean it all up Gnarly was it worth it? No saving Saving her? No, no, no. Somebody asked me that too. I was like, I would watch her fall with joy. Really? I would not have given it,

because I had to cancel a whole weekend of shows. Oh, you had to cancel, such a dirt ball. What? You're such a shit comic. What? What a shitty thing to say. Well, it started out such a beautiful story, and then you're just a egotistical comic.

Dude, I had to cancel a fucking Giganbana and fucking Poughkeepsie. I had to cancel San Jose. Oh You have to do a video and you think sorry guys. No, I did have my agent articulate a message You have an Asian a have an Asian you have an Asian. I have an Asian manager Oh, that's awesome. And is that better than goalie and agent? Oh, really? Your agent you had to cancel it. Yeah, I had to cancel it She's like told me what to say on the internet and I was just like, just say you're on the mend in the hospital. I'm like alright and then still people gave me shit.

Well of course they're gonna give you shit. Yeah but then I was in the hospital the last day, they finally figured out what was wrong and like had to open my whole finger up and take everything out. So where'd you met this girl? On the plane with a broken hand? An infected broken hand? No, I was flying back. We had messaged on Instagram before. Oh so you hooked up in her DMs? I think I said like you were in New York. So how did you saw her? Where'd you see her? On the Instagram. Yeah but how did you first know about her? I think she

followed me. She followed you? And it was one of those things where it's like you know how like the prominent people with a lot of followers that'll pop up on your. Yeah, you mean when you scroll through your likes and you see the check marks and it's hot and you go, I'm gonna talk to her and all the other people you ignore. Yeah, yeah, and more specifically.

Yeah, the chubby housewife with the cat fucking eye photo. You're like, nah, nah, nah, yeah. Dude, there's, you know how nah, nah, nah, yeah. There's, you know how many times I get like, if I get mean messages, I just screenshot a photo from their profile and then just send it to them? I did that a couple times. When I was really fat, I remember this one guy called me fat and then I just went to his Facebook page

and got his fat wife and fat kids. And I just sent it back. I go, wouldn't it suck if people said shit about these people? And he goes, I'm sorry, dude. Oh, yeah. I've had that happen before where people said mean things. I'm like, what the hell was that to you? Like in the DMs.

And they're like, I don't know. I'm just going through a rough time. I know. I know. You forget there's a real person. Like, not us, them. They forget that we're real people. Yeah, but they're just trying to fucking say something.

Yeah. Now you have, used to be fat face. Were you fat as a kid? Yeah. You were. I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to be fat faced. Were you fat as a kid? Yeah. You were. I did, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to be fat faced. Wrigley?

No, no, no, no. As a fat person, I can smell a fat person. You can see the trauma. You can see all the lucky charms. I can smell it. You know what I mean? You have, you're just chubby kid. I was a chubby kid for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried sports and I would just like get upset. Cause they'd like hit you in football and I was like, that sucks. Yeah, it's called football. Yeah. Yeah, you should play basketball or maybe badminton. Yeah, five eight playing basketball.

Badminton's good. Badminton's a good game. Yeah. So you were chubby kid, what made you lose the weight? When did you lose all the weight? I honestly, I've always just been a little chub. Yeah. But then like, I don't know,'t know a couple years ago I started like drinking water started getting some heat you like I gotta look good on stage. I was starting I

was thinking what that does make a difference like watching your footage yeah I was like oh no oh you can't you see my last special I was a tub of shit I can't say it I didn't even edit it I was like it's good whatever you think. I didn't know I was that fat. So you you met you DM this, and then you met her. Did you meet her with your broken, stupid, hero finger? So we didn't meet in person. She was saying, let me come to the hospital and give you some stuff.

No way. She was planning on coming there like, oh, let me bring you some soup and all this stuff. And I'm like, no, I was like, I hadn't showered in three days. You fucking turned down soup? I know, I turned down her coming. That would have been a much better acute meeting story.

Oh my God, that would have been fantastic. Yeah, yeah. You with your stupid finger, your sepsis. Yeah. And she comes in. I got this cut too. Oh God, this is a whole bunch of things. Yeah.

From that? From that incident? Yeah, I got all beat up. And then we decided, we were just like talking and then we just started, that first night, we just started texting in the hospital, like all night, like texting. Yeah. And that was like the best kind of first date, because just started texting in the hospital like all night like texting. Yeah.

And that was like the best kind of first date because I fucked up a lot of first dates because I have ADHD of shitty memory. Yeah. So they'll be I'll be like, I'll ask them about their siblings. And then an hour later, I'm like, so do you have any brothers or anything? And they're like, no, my two sisters I talked to you about, you know, like I forget a lot. Yeah. During our conversation, I was able to I don't know if that's ADHD or they're just not interesting.

That's could be that it could be that yeah What are you here? Wow? Yeah, I mean, I don't remember anything my wife talks about How you doing? Listen, she doesn't listen to this. Don't worry. So so now She's on the book the explain the bachelor shit to me. I don't know I do three nights ago I for some reason I got high and I looked up like a YouTube compilation of her. Yeah. And I was like, this isn't good for me. Because it's all these like six, five Adonis men

and she's running and jump hugging them. She calls them hoo-joo's. What? She calls them joo's? She calls them. What? She's Palestinian? Why did she call them hoo-joo's?

What joo's? Hoo-joo's. Hoo-joo's. She just calls them hug jumps. That's like an industry term for a bachelorette. Why did you call them hoosies? What's your hoosie? Hoosies. She just calls them hug jumps. That's like an industry term for a bachelorette. A hoosie is a hug jump. It's a thing. Yep, and it's something I cannot do for her.

You can't? No, you can't. No. If she hoosied me, we both would have to hold your head like you did to that girl before you break a finger. So you saw these things of her on the show. Mm-hmm. And did she win? No, no, it was one of the didn't even like even break top ten on bachelorette and then I'm sorry I'm bachelor and then she got her own bachelor season really. Yes, she was the bachelorette

Yeah, so she was the one. Mm-hmm. And she she had a hookup with a guy at the end Yeah, and she married him she mm-hmm and she she had a hookup with a guy at the end Yeah, and she married him she got engaged she got she got engaged. So did you which doesn't mean shit doesn't mean shit That's why I'm here. I'm here dude. I have very big. Oh my god. She married she married Oh my god. She married the fucking tip of the spear dude. That's it. That's a Navy SEAL, bro. Oh wow, she got hurt. She got hurt. Dude, something happened. She actually made it to, she's like, you know what, I'm not going for this type of guy anymore.

She's going with someone safe. I want funny. I want fun. Wow, dude. I mean, that is a fucking man. Yeah, sure is. I mean, look at his lip. Oh, now pull up a picture of me.

Pull up a picture of me next to him. Hang on. Let's see out him for a second. I might give him. I might. Can we get him on so I can try to marry him? Wow, dude. He is.

What does he do? Did you go into his spiral? No, I don't know. He's probably, like, does some stupid. No, he doesn't. He does not do something stupid. He does something dramatic and awesome. No, I don't know. He's probably like some stupid. Well, no, he doesn't. He does not do something stupid. He does something dramatic and awesome. No, I'm sure. I bet he saves girls on a daily basis.

I bet he would have. I bet he saved this country a couple of times. Look at his hair, dude. Wow. That fuck that. He's got like he's a white guy with Dominican guy hair. Holy shit. Look at his smile. his teeth are perfect, his nose is so cute.

Look at his nose, let me see your nose. Dude, you have gangster from the 30s face. Yeah, see? I married her, see? Hey, I saved a girl she was gonna die Yeah, boss. Yeah boss. Wow Wow. We find out what he did my god I mean, how tall is she five two? She's five two. So he's gonna be at least six feet, right? I'm sure Yeah, he's six feet dude. He's a fucking man and look at it. Look at her holding up the ring What if what if you are what if you have photos of the same thing? No, she does this

She only knows moves from the show Let me ask you question did you give her a ring I did is it like that it's better no is it Oh, you had to make She picked it out the new one know if it's better? Look at this photo, is that gonna do better than that? She picked it out, the new one. She picked it out? Yeah. Wow, it's 100% better than that one. There's no way.

Does she still get that one? I don't think so. I think you can give it back, right? What? Yeah, it's talking on the microphone, Danny. He's a Canadian wildlife manager. Oh God, Danny. Oh my God.

What a fucking dreamboat. What a dreamboat. You're doing crowd work at the fucking VU and he's saving animals. You're a piece dreamboat. What a dreamboat. You're doing crowd work at the fucking VU and he's saving animals. You're a piece of shit. You're a dirty American fucking hunk of garbage. Wow, she got hurt. He hurt her bad. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know. I think she called it off. She called it off because he did something bad. You think so? I don't know.

Wow. She's a smoker, dude. Now what does she do? Well, she was doing this. She used to be like a marketing person a mark So she's a professional bring that keep that up over talking she Keep that up. All right. I want that guy make that my screen saver On my phone my iPad and my Mac Holy God now she broke it up with him. Why did you ask? Um, no, I think I gotta- You didn't ask why they- I think I did, but I don't think it's I can say.

Oh, you can't say? I don't think so. What'd he do? I don't remember. She found some weird porn on his fucking computer? No. Spread that. No.

No, that, you do that, the- They just didn't get along? I think, I mean, it was also like you meet somebody- How do you not get along with him? I don't know. He's saving animals in Canada. Sounds pretty stupid. I mean, what's it, would you get mad that his,

his, his pomade was all over the bathroom? What is he had too many abs? That was it actually. What? Yeah. Too many abs. His omelet was perfect. She was losing count. I mean, this guy's nuts.

Look at his hands. Oh, he's got little Taylor Swift bracelets like me. Oh look You must have bracelets, right? No. No, you get one little one. No, um, dude. Wow. He is a dreamboat I mean now is he do they still are they let me ask you this question Are they friends still they talk on the phone? Oh I'm kidding. Shit! I think they're like fine. Oh, God!

But they don't talk. Oh, how do you know? I don't think they talk. They talk! I don't know, Pizza Hut's been calling her a lot, though. Listen to me, dude. Let me tell you something. They talk.

No, they don't. No, you're gonna- I think they do, maybe. Like, but it's not- Buddy, I'm trying- She's gonna marry me, I think. Listen, I'm trying- no, you're marrying me. I'm trying to end this right me. I think listen. I'm trying. No, you're marrying me I'm trying to end this right now

Buddy she you if you think let me tell you that right now This night look how nice he is to you tell his energy is perfect. It seems like a nice guy I mean, you know, he got engaged to her but it's also on the show. So it happens. They got engaged so quick You know that works out. Yeah, I mean Yeah, you how long you been getting through? How long though? We just got yeah, how long you know, that never works out. Yeah, I mean, yeah, how long you been engaged for? How long? No, we just got, we've been engaged for five months. Yeah, oh yeah, that's good.

That's like three seasons. That's, ha! Dude, listen to me, dude. Listen, bro, listen, listen to me. You gotta get him out of the picture. Oh, you think I gotta kill him? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to kill him, settle down.

I mean, you gotta have somebody else do it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, If that was lurking around in the woods around my house, you get into some stupid fight, and then all of a sudden he hits her up on a DM, hey, I'm happy for you. I wish I was. I wish I was. She's with my sisters and my mom right now. Oh, you think that matters? You think that matters?

I think that helps. Oh, you think it helps? Mm-hmm. Yeah, does your mom love her? Yeah. Does your sister love her? Nobody said anything bad about her. No Nobody she's killing it. You should call him

Call him. He's probably got a couple things to say. Let me dm instagram dude. Call him. Please dm him right now I'm gonna I'm good. Yes, i'm becoming friends with him. No, i'm gonna marry him. I'm actually saving this. Go ahead Go ahead check out his instagram. Can I have that z Zinn back please? Maybe he likes blueberry Zins. No, I want, this is mine now. I'm drinking the champagne, I'm having the Zinn. Let me ask you a question, honest to God though. Like if I, she looks adorable, she looks so pretty,

but if, if she was, what is she, jump Jew, and what do they call it? Jumping Jews? Jumping Jews at the college? What do they call it? Who Jew? Who'd you? Who'd you? If she had such a bad, if she could change that.

Hug jump. It doesn't even sound the way you, yeah. Did you see the hug jumps? That was the thing. It was like a compilation on YouTube. How many hug jumps did she do? It was her like making out, hug jump. They want you to hug jump.

That's like a big thing. This video of her kissing a guy? Tons of it. And what, did she close her eyes? Yeah. I mean, was it a TV kiss? Oh no, they were like making out. Oh, suck it.

There's a lot of that. How many times you masturbate to that? No, no, no. If anything, I shut it down. I was like, I don't know why the fuck I did that. It was 1 a.m. I was like, why am I doing this right now? Yeah, you can't stop. You couldn't go to bed that night, could you?

It was rough. Oh my God. I have no idea. Now, let me ask you a question. I just gotta know this. Is he? It was rough. Oh my god. I have no idea. Let me ask you a question, I just gotta know this. Is he a good kisser? Who? Him.

I don't know. Can I see the video? Oh, you're saying all the videos of that? Danny, is there hug jumping videos or? I'd love to see this. No, oh you probably could. Yeah, Joe's pulling it up. Oh, why did I do this?

I do this for myself. I don't know why I did this. Where's the zoom? So, so, how long have they not been together? When was the show? Um... Did you say six months ago? Four years ago? Yeah, like 2020? Yeah, that's over. Yeah, that's 100% over. Yeah.

So that, she hasn't been on TV in four years? Right. No, she did F boy island too. She's a professional TV dater. Yeah. She's a you married. That's why it's a big deal. We got a case because I locked I locked down her. I don't know if you locked it down.

I did. I don't know. It's mine. You better film it. It's mine. You better film it. You better film it! You better film it! You better sell it as a pilot! We're gonna sign that marriage

Ah buddy that's so funny Dude, listen, she was on What is it called? FBoy Island? What's the F stand for? Yeah, it's the Nikki Glaser one What's the F stand for? Oh my fucking god She was on a show called Fuckboy Island. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Yeah. She was on a show called Fuckboy Island?

Yep. Yeah. I mean, who was on Fuckboy Island? You know. What was the premise of? I don't know what the premise was. I think it's like you have to figure out who's there to really date and who's there just to be a fuckboy.

How do you figure that out? You have to talk to them and you have to be like, I think you're just here. And then they'll be like Actually, I'm here to date. Oh, really? I think that was I think I watched apparently so nobody fucks I'm sure they do. Oh god. Was she the only girl on it? No, there's no Jesus. It's called fuck They're all just surrounding her it's gangbang Shit man bring this up is this no. Oh, here we go the old

What is it called? This is a date in the rain. This is oh, she's so pretty like tugs me towards you every time I see oh god. I hope she says the same thing to you Pause one second. Did she say any of this shit to you yet? No. Shut up. Is that the other Bachelor? I don't know who that is. Let me see. Let me see.

She didn't kiss him, though, right? Wait, she told me that was her cousin. Let me see. Play it. Happy to have told you how I'm feeling. Dude, you should reenact this. For roleplay. Okay, that's a-

Oh, what is this? I don't like this. I don't like this. What are you doing? What are you talking about? It's out in the fucking world, dude. You think I'd take this myself? This is like live cheaters right here.

Oh my god. Oh! Jesus, stop! Oh, she's gonna kiss you like that, and she kissed you like that? No! And she had done that? She does that, and she'll kiss you like that? No! Has she done that? She does that all the time! That's her thing? Yeah!

Oh man, oh fuck me! Dude, you're a better man than me. I need to see Jump Boy. I need to see Jump Juice. There- Compilation of jump hugs. Yeah, what was it? I think it was like, I forgot the name, but it the first video I looked at. It was like a few minutes long and I was like skipping through it like what? This sucks. So yeah, it does suck. It sucks that it's on the

internet but... I mean... Whatever. It's not just one show though. She's on The Bachelorette, right? Yeah, it was The Bachelorette and Boy Island and The Bachelor. So she's on three? She's on another one? She was on The Bachelorette. Oh, the original didn't win. Didn't win. Got win season. Why'd she get booted? Was she like towards the end at least? I don't know. You didn't look at it. I didn't know what, no buddy. This is stuff you need to know. No, I think it's better. I don't know. Why? Because it's, it's the past and I don't want to, you know,

there was like a record if you could see every day your wife ever went on. Yeah, I went on it. You would call her a slut every fight we're gonna do yeah you pig This time to get finger popped in the butthole at a Dunkin Donuts Quincy, Massachusetts by a plumber Yeah, I'd fucking watch yes. I'd watch I couldn't I couldn't I'd rather not know really no I'd rather not know I'd rather not I just rather have our our life and then So didn't he and him and the other one like would you would you if there was a guy dating like a girl who's like an only fans model or something yeah like where they were like you know throwing it all out there on

the internet yeah wouldn't that be like and they're still doing it okay here's what happened I wouldn't date that person yeah I'm like I'm good yeah shitty for me to be like well could be worse yeah could be worse it's kind of not listen I'll tell you why it's not worse. At least they're just fucking. This is love. This is intimate. This is fucking good.

I'd rather, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Come here. No. Look at me. Look at me.

Look at me. I'd rather watch my wife suck somebody's dick than grab his cheeks and slowly kiss him intimately I agree it's not great it's not great it's not great to know that it's there oh my god it's the internet it'll go away it's not it's actually real life that happened that's a reality show dude that's not going anywhere reality show reality shows are you know what are 100% like reality. This is good. This is what your Asian told you to say. You want to say it's not real. This is why I want you to say it's not real and tell your fans, I'm in hospital recovering.

Am I getting canceled for that? Wow, dude. Is there any, can I see the end of The Bachelor when she married him? Is that up? Did you watch that? No. I love that you keep going engaged. They did get engaged. How long were they engaged for?

I think like less than three months. Three months. So they lived together? I don't know. Yes. She lived, she saw him shower? Yeah. Probably. So this is it right here. They probably had sex, yes. She lived, she saw him shower? Yeah, probably. So this is it right here.

They probably had sex, dude. Buddy, not probably. It's kind of the thing. Oh no, is this the wedding? What is this? This is what you're going to go through. Buddy, just look around and see if there's any things you can grab that you may add to your wedding.

That's a different guy. Oh my god, she married someone else? I don't know what this is oh my god she's been with more she's married more than one person oh my you don't know what this is dude I've never seen this before this is I and he's smoking too oh my my god! Oh god, she's nervous again. Oh she's got, she wrote love, a love thing. This is all TV stuff. This is not TV.

This is TV. This is a lot of TV if you're getting married, dude. TV. I trust you with my heart and promise to protect yours. You want to be funny? for quote for quote this guy Quote for quote you want to be you if you have a funny fucking bone in the body You will keep a quote what a medicate Rowell's fucking vows Please Justin, it's on the

James Justin It's on the capture. I don't fucking know his name's Justin. You're Raul. It looks like Raul, I didn't know. Let's hear what he says, quote for quote. What a fun bit it would be just for her, just to piss her off. No one would laugh and it would just make her angry.

Oh, her mom would cry. Yeah. It's beautiful. And then sign from Jason, whoever his fucking name is. Let me hear what this guy says. Through all of life's ups and downs. You gotta do this! And do everything in my power to keep that infectious smile on your face.

I did. Our bond is sacred. I vow to cherish your kind. Practice it right now. Beautiful, thoughtful, loving heart for the rest of our days together. Oh God. Oh look he licked his lips. You see that shit? That was some sexy shit. Let me hear. I hope hers are the same

What if she has the same bow man what it was like I don't think I'll ever have sex with anybody as good as you Here we go. Oh Justin I Promise to love you every day. I promise to always chase you to cherish you to protect you Her promise thanks So let's paint something beautiful I hope she uses the same lines. I hope it's a combination of all the time. She's got married That's fucking great. Look at you. You're eating. I'm not angry. I mean you didn't. I haven't seen this. Oh yeah there's a

good thank you for getting rid of that and keeping that up. You did. Well we still haven't found him. I want his. Dude his is good. I bet his was great. Find that one. Buddy she's been married on TV. What was that? Was that Fuckboy? Was that Fuckboy Island? I don't know. Oh, apparently I was at my sister's house when I was visiting family and my sister loves reality TV. So she knows who she is. Right. And she, we apparently watched her episode and I was like on my computer and I was like, this shit's so stupid.

I was like making fun of it. And you didn't know anything? I didn't know it was her. You didn't know it was her? No. But you were engaged to her? No. Oh, you didn't know who she was? It was a year ago. So you didn't even her? I didn't know it was her. You didn't know it was her? No. But you were engaged to her?

No. Oh, you didn't know who she was? This was a year ago. So you didn't even know? And you were like, this is the dumbest thing ever. And now? I was making fun of the show. I never liked reality TV.

I never got into it, you know? So the person on the TV, this is stupid. That's the person you're marrying. This is life is weird, man. It is. Life is weird. I think it is. It was, yeah.

Are you nervous at all that she's been married twice? Engaged. Engaged. Sorry. Once. Engaged once. Okay. Dude.

Married once. No, that's not marriage. That was like a reality show like pretend vows thing. It wasn't really a marriage. How do you know? What are you talking about? That's a fucking, they said vows. No.

They didn't say I do. Can you play the end please? Play the end. Oh, we get. No, I do. It was just like a role play. They didn't say I do. Can you play the end, please? Play the end. I don't know why I do, it was just like a role play. You don't know that. It was like a role play. She didn't don't. She didn't say I don't.

Yeah. There's definitely a maybe in there. I could see in her eyes, she was pushing them away. Buddy, she said, I want you to be the paint. She said, I want you to be the paint for my paintings. Or some shit. Play it. Play it. She's a bride.

She not- she not- oh my- IT HAPPENED! It's fucking real! It's all like HAPPENED! It's not- It's fucking real! It's all like, pretending. Dude! It's for fun! Whatever you have to fucking say, Jeff. Jeff! Oh my god, she has a wedding!

How many albums does she have? Does she have a bookshelf full of wedding albums? She has a room I can't go in. Really? I bet both of them are in it. Ha ha're both in it just working out every day. Oh I mean like one episode they had a page or naked or something like that. What? Yeah, stop it I think there was something like that. What was this by the I don't know what that was you looked it up Danny What is this?

Katie and Justin exchange vows and cake. Yeah, see doesn't say get married. You didn't know she was married to this guy She's not married to him. How do't know she was married to this guy? She's not married to him. How do you know? Because she would have told me that. Buddy, she didn't, buddy, buddy! He's not lying to me. If there was video of my wife marrying fucking Raul on YouTube, I'd be like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, well, it's, you know, it's expected for what she did. Buddy, I'm sorry. You're uncomfortable, right? You're fucking knees tapping. I mean, you're holding onto the side of the chair. You're sucking on a Zen buddy. This is wild. I mean, you didn't know that she married. What's his name? Jason, Justin, Justin. She married a guy and

it's on YouTube. She got a ring. She's got, how many rings does she got? She's got three rings. That's, she's like Tom Brady numbers, dude. That's crazy. Buddy. So we're excited, we're really looking forward to it. Yeah, I mean, sure she is, she's getting another ring.

That's what she does for work. Buddy, she just, dude, her agent was like, listen, comics are big right now. You need to marry a comedian. He has a lot of followers. Oh, this is her agent? No, she has an agent too. What's up?

Dude, she's got a lot, now she's an influencer, she's on Instagram, she's got a lot of followers. Who has more followers, you or her? I do you do All bad side. Oh, no. Oh you're saying no What no you're not thinking this through man. Where you from here? You're from New York I grew up on Long Island, but then I'm your Long Island. You're Long Island. I would say white trash, right? Yeah, why white trash Long Island? You're long good. You're long. I was like, oh, it's long. Yeah. Yeah, it would say White Trash, right? Yeah. White Trash, Long Island? Dude, you're Long Island.

It's Long Island. It's Long Island. Yeah. It's not Manhattan. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I mean, it's not Westchester.

My dad worked in Queens. He did? What did your dad do? He ran, you ever heard of, you ever been to like Ridgewood? You ever see like the Flowerama building? Yeah. That was his. Oh, no shit.

That was, he worked for his dad there. And then they had like locations, so he would like run. So. That was his. Oh no shit. He worked for his dad there and then they had like locations so he would like run. So it's so funny that she's she was married to somebody and you didn't know about it. Shoot that's not marriage. Buddy tell yourself whatever you want Jeffy. That's not marriage. Buddy that's under God I do. We're married. They said this is where they would say. You're my wife. This is where they would say.

They did it like a. It's mock, you think it's mock? Yes, that's the word. It's just like a faux wedding. A faux wedding? Yeah, it's not real, they're just rehearsing. Really? It's faux.

Okay, all right, whatever dude. Yeah, whatever, I'm cool with that. I'm confident. You're not gonna ask her about this later tonight I'm probably gonna have a little conversation Your knees tapping again, she's literally with my mom and my sisters right now. Oh, yeah So I'm gonna call her and be like hey when you get a minute just a little to chat about some alright I'll be here you be you and call me on the phone

Who the fuck is Raul? What? When you get a minute just I love to chat about some stuff. I'll be her you be you and call me on the phone. Who the fuck is Raul? What? Excuse me? Honey, you're my paint. Buddy, baby, you're my paint that I want to paint paintings, beautiful paintings with whatever. What was with that wedding? Was that real?

What was that? What wedding? It was like a thing where you guys exchanged vows or something and you said that you're gonna paint his portrait. Oh, you saw that? Yeah, his name was Justin. Says you exchanged vows. Yeah, well I was gonna tell you about that. I was hoping you didn't find that. When were you gonna tell me? I was gonna tell you right after I told you about Jason and Frankie. I've been married five times. No, it's kind of my thing. What? Yeah,

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ready to bet. Use promo code DUDE to claim a bonus that doubles your money on your very first Deposit you heard that right double your money with code dude Before you even place a bet my bookie plus is the lock of the century bet on anything anywhere anytime and Make your season a winning season when I first heard about this, I was like, oh, that's wild. This guy's marrying the bachelorette. This is crazy.

And I was like, oh, I'm going to try to marry him. I want nothing to do with you now. Oh, because you're with the guys? You probably need me now. I probably, you're probably thinking about it now. And I don't know if I want to marry you anymore. I don't think I want to take you from her. I think you're damaged goods

Wow, what are you gonna? So you're gonna you're gonna have to bring this up. I mean you she got She got fake married to somebody. Yeah, that was that I don't I do not care. I Don't I don't care. I don't think it was real is all part of the show She explained to me what how they How they kinda lead you into bits. Really? You know? On what show? It's all of it.

On all the shows? All of them. They'll be like, okay, now you have to go hug jump him. You have to whoo-joo him. Whoo-joo him. So that's on the shows that you knew about. Yeah, there's only, there's Bachelor, Bachelorette, and F-Boy Island.

And that one. Yeah. Whatever that was. Yeah. You don't even know what that was. And then there was the other show she did it for she did It's called what? Yeah, it was called trying to escape without getting fucked. It was this What's next make it through the park without getting raped

What's next? Island show hanging out with P did it without fucking getting banged in the ass. What is next? Guess that boner? Try not to get trafficked What the fuck dude? What she was? I Mean, this is crazy. It's not it's not yeah. I honestly don't it's not this. I'll tell you this. It's not the conventional It's not conventional, yeah, it's not the conventional, it's not conventional.

You know, it's not, you know. What would be conventional though for a comedian? Well, you meet a girl. Where? Alright, hang on, maybe, you know, waiting tables or at your job or at a bar or something. But what about a comic? I'm just saying, I'm gonna say this.

You meet a girl at a bar or at a show or at your day job, you know, and then you kind of date and then you break up and then you date again and then you kind of work through things and then you kind of move in together and you see how that works and then you go to another place together and then you decide this is serious, I want to be with you, I want to be with you I want to be with you too and then then you you you say you know after a few years you're like you know what this is real okay I have you know what you haven't fucked somebody in seven years and I tried not to fuck somebody right I tried my hardest how long how old are you and you got me that's a question. I've been married 17 years, October 10th. So do the math.

Autistic Danny? I'm not that kind of autistic. Oh, shit. Sorry. What's your power? I just can't make eye contact. Yeah, OK. And you can do magic.

What is that? 17 years. That's 2000 what? Five? 2007. 2007. So you're in your 30s? I met her. I met her. No, I'm 53. I met her waiting tables back in Boston. I'm talking. I was still at five. I had five jobs and I

was doing comedy at like the Colons and Knicks. I was doing open mics. Okay. When I met her, I was doing open mics and we dated and then I broke up with her, for a hotter chick, younger and hotter. And then we dated again, then I moved to New York, and I broke up with her. And then she went to, she moved to LA with a friend from Boston. And then I went to LA to film a pilot.

We kind of hooked up again. And then her roommate left and left a high drive, so I moved in with her, because I booked a pilot out there and I lived with her. We hooked up again, we started being, then we got an apartment together in LA to see how it would work, and then we got another apartment together,

and then I was like, I got to get out of LA, I got to go back to New York and become a comic. This LA fucking blows. And I was like, you can come with me if you want. She's like, I do. So she came with me, moved back here. I was a piece of shit for years. And then finally it was like, listen, I can't be with you.

Either you want to be with me and make it serious or not. And I was like, you know what? I gotta go to therapy. I gotta work out my bullshit, because I love you and I do want to be with you. And I did and then a few years later I was like, I love you and I do wanna be with you. And I did and then a few years later, I was like, I love you, I wanna marry you. And then we went and got married.

And then we had a kid at 42, I was like, at 40, I was like, let's have a kid. And then 42, that would be to me. So that's what your example of like, here's a conventional, that was just exactly what. Conventional or something that would last. Bobby, do you think that if she was on like a different type of reality show,

like Storage Wars, that would be better? Yeah, I think Storage Wars. I mean, she's gonna be on Cheaters Next. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. It's just me and a man looking at an iPad. Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, her saying the same shit to him that she said to you. Paint his world too. Ha ha ha ha. If you don't fucking read those vows, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her saying the same shit to him that she said to you. Paint his world too. Ha ha ha ha. If you don't fucking read those vows, you're a fucking loser. Oh yeah.

Um, ha ha ha. I mean, look it dude, you never know. You know what dude, listen dude, it's not bad dude. You just watched- I'm 37, she's 33. You just watched your fiance get married. I did, thank you for that. That's good.

That's probably one of the funnest things that's ever happened on my fucking podcast. Your fucking face going, what's this? I've never saw that. That's like watching you. It's like if you saw me on a video, your father jerking off. What's this? It's dad, huh? Shit. Wow, dude. My God, you could have played fucking Metallica songs with that double bass foot you would tap it away

Bro I I mean you so you are gonna talk to her about this, right now There's not really much to talk about if I were to bring it up. I'd bring it up like Like that we talked we talked about it and I was like, what was that and she explained to me It was probably like a thing on the show or they're like, okay, now you have to pretend. You know, they do like a thing called homecoming or like whatever, I forget what it's called, something like that where you have to meet the other people's family.

And she's like. Like she's doing today. No, she posted about that. She's like, he's doing homecoming. She's doing homecoming right now with your mom and your sister right now. She surprised them, that was pretty sick. She's a professional.

She's a god damn pro. I'm going to surprise them. I learned that technique episode 7 on Don't Fuckboy Island. She's perfect and you can never change my mind about that. Now, look it, she seems adorable.

I'm sure it's going to work out. Don't slow look away. I'm sure it's gonna work out. Don't slow look away. I didn't. Did I? You did, say it again without slow looking away. Dude, it's going to work out. It's real, it seems genuine, and the love you guys have for each other is palatable.

I can feel it. I don't like that. I don't like the thousand yard stare't like the distance a thousand yards there. The second I'm done saying it. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I do another thing? Tell us, say that you're just going to work out and that you think I'm funny. Okay. Let me tell you something. I, I, your marriage is a hundred percent going to work out and you're one of the funniest guys going right now.

I said, God damn it. Well, thank you. And I respect it. I'm really glad to be here. No, dude. Look, here's the real deal, bro. You never know what's going to work out. People who are in love and blah, blah, blah. None of that shit matters. You never know when you find the one. I mean, the fact that she found the one a few times wasn't the one. Right.

I never got engaged. You could be the one a few times wasn't the one. Right. I never got engaged. You could be the one. I mean, go ahead. This is going to hurt my feelings. The odds are in your favor because she's tried a lot. Yeah. See, that's the thing is, she tried professionally with guys that were 6'3", a Donis, gorgeous, awesome, beautiful.

And now she's trying you. Yeah. Right. This is a safe bet right here. I don't win first, but I'll finish the race. I hope she invites them over for a pool party. No. And they come over shirtless. And you're sitting there with your shirt on. You have a swim shirt. Honey, take your shirt off. I'm good. I was a kid in the pool with shirt on me too, dude Oh, yeah adult in the pool. I don't know what we thought we were doing Because it only it only snugs in better. It only shows the curves. Oh, what a fucking segue. That was a good one That was beautiful crowd work right there. I don't know man. We were fat, right? Oh, you know, I wanted to bring up anything else There's other things I wanted to talk about.

Ah, I mean, but I would, me personally, because I am, look at dude, I'm suspicious of everybody. You know, if it would be hard, my rule was always never date a person with a headshot. Oh, that's a fun one. Yeah, I just didn't want, what about a realtor? There's only, yeah, yeah, you know what? No, no, no just didn't want about a realtor. There's only yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what no No, no, no, no the fact that she went away

Yeah, and she was not that one that one. I was that one. Yeah, my neck a little thinner on that one No, I just feel like there's only room for one drama mama in a relationship Oh when there's two drama mamas, which it can get a little fucked up sometimes Yeah, yeah, you have a you have a more jovial Personality than me. I'm a fucking dickhead from Boston. You know what I mean? I've been hurt so many times I've heard people a lot you look like you haven't hurt girls. No. No, how many girls have you had had? Yeah, how many girlfriends? Oh girlfriend serious. I'm gonna I'm not asking how many, how many times you fuck girls? Four.

Four serious girlfriends? I would say three to four. And were they in the show business? No. This is your first? One of them was, and then she slept with her director and cheated on me. Dude, I mean, I mean, God gives signposts. Yeah.

She was a director in something that you were in with her? No, no, no, no. She was like an improviser. We lived together. She was an director in something that you were in with her? No, no, no, no. She was like an improviser. We lived together. She was an improviser. And then she was like, I was so naive. She was the one that told me that go. No.

Yeah, me. She was the one that told me gullibility is a sign of intellect. And then she cheated on me like months later. I remember thinking I'm like, yeah, my girlfriend told me a girl was a good thing. And she was like, just kind of like talking and like making out with her director a lot. Like she'd get home from rehearsal like four or five a.m. And that's not a good sign.

No. And then I found out I found out when I was like she came to visit my she met my family for the first time. My sister now she was pregnant with my niece. How many how many women have you family met? One, two, three, four, the fourth or the fifth at the most. Right. They don't meet a lot, no.

Because my mom immediately attaches on if she's like, all right, is this the one? Yeah. But my sister's got privy to a few. I don't like that one. So how did you find out she was cheating on you? I was editing my sister. We took a video of my sister announcing that she was pregnant to us Yeah, and I took that I was editing the video on her laptop after we got back from vacation like from them

Yeah And I as I was opening up her laptop all the text messages came in on the Mac From him saying I wish I can't like I can't wait to see you all this stuff And then the one that got me was it was 4th of July when he wrote you're the paint You're all the colors in my painting and I can't wait to paint it in the future. No. She used his line on him?

No. Okay, go ahead. She goes, I wish I was here with you instead. And I was like, at my mom's house, like that, you know? But then it was all this whole big, all this shit. And then we, I like, I found it all and I'm like, I'm done, I'm out. So I packed up all my shit and put it in my car,

but I left like two suitcases, like two and a half suitcases by the door so that I could leave, you know what I mean? So when she got home, I could, I was waiting on a chair. So she'd come in, look to the right, see the suitcases, look at me at the chair and she'll be like, oh no, he found out. She came in, didn't see the suitcases, looked at me

and all I said was, how dare you? That's all I said. And she's like, what? And I explained to her what I said yeah and she's like what and I explained or what I found yeah and then I like left and I grabbed my shit and then I ran down the hallway like went to my car and she was chasing me and I was like yeah you better chase me and I get to my car and she screamed my name I go what she's chasing you hey hey those are my suitcases no worse she goes you forgot this one oh, I thought you were coming to stop me. But she's like, yeah, don't forget everything. Yeah, that's, he's coming over

later. I don't want any evidence. I don't have to hide your photos in my draw. Yeah. But then now they're married. And so I was the bad guy. I was the guy in the way that was like, come on, babe, let's go. He was like, only if you were with me and you never know. You never know. I don't, I have no malice toward them at all. I'm happy for him. Yeah, of course. It was you imagine being with her Jesus Christ. Imagine not finding out. Yeah, exactly Yeah, that would suck but this is all this we have video of her wedding, too. No I'm so glad well, I cheated on him with you. Yeah, and then I didn't really date anybody I've the longest I didn't have like long relationships I had like two over a year. Yeah, like oh no, I'd say three over a year one over almost two years

Yeah, and that was it. And how did you know this was the one? Just how easy it is to hang out and I think it was oddly enough. I bought her a steam deck Like one of those video game things. I'm sorry What a steam deck is what it's called the really expensive thousand dollar video game. It's like 500 bucks. Okay. But I bought her one of those because she's like, I would play because I got one. I can meet me and my friends have them when we're on the road and shit. It's really fun. You think those guys play video games? You think fucking Captain America has a steam deck? He's too busy saving a mountain lion. No, yeah. He drinks hot water in the morning. Yeah. He's, he's, he's a real good guy at that.

Hey, I got you a handheld video game system so you can play with me and my buddies. There's nothing worse than when someone tells you something back to you and you get to hear what it sounds like. And you're like, yeah, I guess you're right. He built her a log cabin in the woods of Canada. He could, I bet. This is your home.

And you went, do you like Tetris? I opened her car door. Yeah. It was pretty good. Yeah, is it her car? It was for a while. Yeah, there you go.

She lives in LA, we don't even live together. Really? Yeah. So you're engaged and you don't live together? She's moving here in February. Moving to your apartment? No, we're gonna get a new place. I'm gonna get out of my lease and we're gonna move.

My apartment's too small for two people. Right. So we're gonna get somewhere, somewhere like West Village, Crying At Your Sp- You're gonna move to the West Village? Or I'm sorry, upper west side or something like that. Upper west side. East Village right now. Stay in the city. Yeah, I think I want her to like live in the city. I think I want to start somewhere calm with like a elevator, somewhere like she can feel safe, you know? Yeah. Seattle but then LA she only lived in LA for like a year yeah she's not safe she could always call that guy yeah I like I like how I'm like I want to protect my girl I'll get her a dormant yeah you'll get your hire a man another thing I say out loud and I'm like fuck did I say that I wanted to feel safe so I want to hire a

building with men that work there that look like other men that she married on TV. Well, I play my video games on the A-Trade. Yeah, we played video games one night together for like four hours straight, and it was awesome. I remember she picked me up from a comedy club to drive me back from like Oxnard. I was doing Oxnard in California

She drove there like over an hour to pick me up so that we could have a date night and she put up a Nintendo 64 on a projector in her bedroom Yeah, and then set up snacks and got like edibles and we played Mario Kart for like hours and I'm like, this is great Yeah, you know, yeah and then not got a real wet Yeah, I can't really excited to have sex with her too. You have? Oh! Oh! Oh!

Don't do that. That hurt my heart. I almost fucking had a heart attack. I almost called her. I was, you bitch. Well, another thing that I want to talk to you about. You, you, um, you had cancer. No, I had a tumor.

They didn't know it was a 50-50 shot. It might have been cancer. Where was it? It was right here. On your neck? Did it come out? It was like in my jaw. Could you see it?

You could see it. From stage? Yeah. Did you have to write a joke about it? I tried to, but you know how hard it is. That's a hard topic to bring up. What was the joke? What was it? Can I hear it? You remember it? No, cuz it was I think I was talking about while I was getting it like while I was getting it I know you guys are thinking

What the fuck is that on the side of his face? Yeah, that's how I started it No, but I had like I just just kept like, it kept growing. And I blew up. It was right after I got cheated on. I moved into my friend's like, clot, like office. Fucking God, God hates you. It was rough. I was crying in my car a lot.

I mean, dude, first of all, you got cheated on, and then you got a tumor? Yeah. On your neck? Yeah, like right here. Oh my, do you think you got the tumor from all the stress? I think it added to it, for sure. I think it exacerbated it, for sure. Really? Yeah, like right here. Oh my, do you think you got the tumor from all the stress? I think it added to it, for sure. I think it exacerbated it, for sure.

Really? Yeah, yeah. So now you must have freaked out, right? I freaked out. I had insurance, too, and they said we can only cover this much, so I still had to pay like $40 grand for it to get it removed, because it was considered cosmetic.

And anesthesia was considered a volunteer, so that I had to pay for anesthesia to do all that stuff But then you know David Drake. No, he's a comic in New York. He runs community. You should know he did. Oh, yeah I know that yeah He did a go fund me And then it got like 10 grand right away And then it was like then it went to like 15 like they've kept going and I'm like, that's amazing And it was like it's today. So people raised the money to get it taken out kind of yeah I still had a

like I still paid it off took me like five years to pay it off right yeah did they did they know when did they find that it wasn't cancer it so they they did like a biopsy and they're like it's a 60% chance it's not and he's like they they're like so technically you could leave it in if it does grow you'd want to maybe take a go it's been growing like it was literally the size of he said you can let it grow the first doctor I went to was a dick he barely had his foot in the door like yeah If you want to take care of you can you have to go we do this this and that like it was less than 30 Seconds he was in the room and I was like what and then I went to a different doctor

He's like because the guy that I originally went to was like you're gonna lose function on the side of your face forever It's tied into all your nerves went to another doctor that was like 20 years younger than him and was like, nah, we'll get it out. No problem. And I was like relieved and they got it out. No problem. I was in the, I was, uh, recovered. I went from the hospital to Michigan. Like I was in Chicago and I went from there. My parents picked me up and I was just recovering there for like two months and it was fine. Really? Worked out. Did you get to keep it? I asked him to keep it. He goes, no, when they take it out is their property. Oh, they own it. to keep it. He goes, no. When they take it out, it's their property. Oh, they own it?

They own it. Is this the GoFundMe? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, let me see this. Who's that? That's me. That's you? Yeah. Oh, you look so different, dude.

Uh-oh. In a good, bad way? I love that you didn't put the tumor side on. Is that the tumor you're holding? I have a problem. I was recently diagnosed with some kind of pleomorphic attack. I know. This was 10 years ago I think. I know it sounds scary, like an Avenged 7 pull album, but it's not. What it is, is a face tumor. I haven't seen this.

Wow. Do you show it? That's what I said. The problem is, it's stuck up in my nerves. No. You put it in the shadows? I did as a joke on the GoFundMe, he said if you donate $10 or more you get a sliver. Really?

And people were like, where's my sliver? Yeah. You never gave him a sliver? No. You should have sent him a piece of ham. I could have. You should have sent out pieces of ham. I think it was, yeah, I think, I don't know.

Nobody would have known. I got another one up here. Oh, you got another one? It's like a cyst, I think, or something. Oh. It's like a big ball. Really? What are you gonna do with that?

I gotta take a look. I got a doctor looked at it. I was like, it's probably fine. Yeah? The same one? No, no. Go back to the young one that was like, I'll take it out. Don't go to one that's fine. I know, because I want to get the hair surgery and I think I gotta get the assistant on my head first.

Yeah. I have a lot to do this year. I gotta get married. You're gonna get a hair. Are you gonna get the space wig? What is that? Hair transplants. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I was the space wig. What's that? Hair transplants. Yeah Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I was trying to go to the one that everyone's going to yeah that everyone up there But it's like a year wait I want to do the front I want to do the back so I put like topic in the back right bald in the back

Yeah, so I gotta like put like pepper in the back and shit. Yeah. Yeah, there's there's photos This photos of you bald like there's times like I've had videos like where I'm at the start whatever I didn't cover it up good enough and like I bent down and I'm like, oh Yeah, I preempted everything. I shaved it before people saw me as bald I used to shave my head, it wasn't a good look for me Yeah? A little too... Sick?

More like I had opinions You look like you should have a go-fund-me all the time Yeah, no, no, no, it's too chubby to look like it You look like you had opinions? Yeah, like you don't have it, you look racist basically Oh, you. It's too chubby to look like that. You look like you had opinions. Yeah, like, you know what I mean. I look racist, basically. Oh, you did? I look a little scared.

You look like the leader or something? Yeah. Yeah. No. I never look like the leader. Oh, you're just the side guy? I don't look like the guy at the top of the picnic table at the prison.

Another shot caller? No. You're the guy that cleans his underwear? Yeah, yeah. I'm the guy that goes, OK, boss. Yeah. So when they took it out, did they find, they found out it wasn't cancer, right? Mm-hmm. How long did that take? Pretty quickly. I remember being like, okay good, because they were confident everything was removed, so

they're like, we're not worried about it. There's no signs of metastasis, like if it was or anything like that. They did a lot of blood work, a lot of all this stuff, and they were pretty confident, and then it was like, I want to say like two weeks later, three weeks later, something like that. They did a lot of blood work, a lot of all this stuff. And they were pretty confident. And then it was like, I want to say like two weeks later, three weeks later, something like that. They were like, yeah, it's all good. And then I went for a follow-up and everything looked good. That's terrible. What a shit couple of years you had.

It was rough. It was really rough. Yeah. Yeah. Terrible. That's a fucking terrible couple of years. And now you're killing it. It's going well, yeah.

It feels good. I mean, you're killing it. How did you fucking pop off? You know what I mean? Because back when I came up, you had to get on TV and you had to have a show or you had to be on something. And that's how you become, you popped off. Now you kind of do it on your own.

Yeah, you know what it was is I did a late show when I first moved here, like the first year I did. I did the late show and I did not do well. Is that can we watch that? No, no do not watch that you can watch it afterwards if you google it you can it's on the internet. Can I just say something? I bombed on Late Night twice. Did you?

Bombed. Really? Twice. Yeah. Which Late Night? Carson Daly. Whoa. Remember that? Yeah. I bom night? Carson Daly. Whoa.

Remember that? Yeah. Buddy, I bombed so bad the first time. I actually, I'm so used to having, I'm so used to having the mic like this. Yeah. And then doing this with the cord. Okay.

It's like my thing. I was bombing so bad, it was a wireless thing. So I had the mic like this and I kept going like this, but there a wireless thing. So I had the mic like this, and I kept going like this, but there was no thord, so I was just going like this. I was just doing this. I came off my agent who was there, he went, what the fuck was this? Oh no.

And I go, I don't know, I guess it's the thing I do. And there was no mic cord. The second time I did it, I go, I'm not doing it. I did it again. I wanted to be doing this. So when I finally it, I go, I'm not doing it. I did it again. I did, I wanted to do this. So when I finally did the Tonight Show, I finally did it, I said I need a corded mic. And they were like, what?

I go, I want a corded mic. The guy walked up to me, he goes, who's hooking the corded mic up, the sound, whatever he is, he's like, I haven't hooked one of these up in 19 years. Oh, God. Yeah, I did Lay Show and it was not great. Nothing happened, you know what I mean? I remember even like, I forget who it was, it was the comic here.

Can we watch it? No, it's bad. Just watch one. I was so nervous. One joke. Dude, I bombed two. We can watch mine if you want. All right, we can watch both.

Next time you're on, watch mine. Let's watch his now, though. It's either that or we watch your wife's fifth marriage. You pick. The eldest choice. Watch them both the same time. She was on a show in Indonesia. Did you know that? What? I am worried we're playing too much copyrighted content so I might think it's a bad idea. Oh shoot.

Oh yeah. Oh shucks. We can put this up on plungeup.live. But then yeah, I was doing that, and then I was just like struggling in New York for a while. And then I started doing oddly enough cruise ships. And that is what maybe kind of expanded my material a lot more, was having like five different 30 minute shows, which was like,

like, you know. And then I started doing, you know, like to like kind of elongate the sets a little bit, was doing a little more crowd work. And then, like, which was more just like introing a little bit was doing a little more crowd work and then Like which was more just like intro in my own jokes. Yeah, it wasn't like what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? And then I? Did a show at like some benefit show is some comics and one of them was Brossard Matthew Brossard I was hosting and he's like, I'm you should host the seller. He is

It's it's amazing to me Matthew he He's great. No, let me finish that he's not gay. He got engaged too. Yeah. It fucking knocked my dick off. Yeah. Oh yeah. Why? I thought he was no. Oh, 100%. Really? Yeah.. I guess he's just so sexy, such a good looking guy, that he comes off as a little feminine. He is really sexy. He used to date Katie too, actually. Your wife? I love that.

Pull it up. Pull it up. It'd be funny if we pulled a clip and I was just like me, listen, I love you more than you ever fucking know. I love you too, Bobby. And then she just jujumps me. What's it called? It's the jujumper. No, Matthew is, he's such a funny guy.

Fuck, great guy. He's great. He's awesome. Gorgeous. Yeah. I don't know why he's not on TV. We did, we hiked in like Vegas and then we did like a video together. I'm like, let's keep my body out of it.

Let's focus on yours a little bit. But then he wrecked me to the cellar. it was like I got a couple more recommendations for hosting Never got a host spot. He's like don't ask just just just Take what she gives you don't ask again. She's gonna ask you to host just say you'll do whatever Yeah, and then the Accelerator started send me clips. I never recorded myself before Learned how to edit and it was like I don't just come up with like a regimen of like posting this amount of times per day, just throwing it at the wall, you know? And that was pretty much it. And then it kind of like, it's funny how like agents and managers and all these people,

they don't look for like diamond, they don't look for somebody like on the rise, like, Ooh, I think this person has potential. They want somebody who's already doing their potential and they want to jump on top. Like, they're gonna be like, Hey, I'm gonna go with you on this one. Well, the days of somebody looking and seeing something and building on that and then using their, whatever they have over here with that person's and building it and then presenting it and then making a star, you know,

seeing something, those days are gone. You gotta do it your own way a little bit. You gotta make your own efforts, I think. Yeah, I mean, I think agents, you know, got to do it your own way a little bit you got to make your own efforts I think. Yeah I mean I think I think agents you know I mean it's just such a fast pace. People come up and go away so fast now too. It's like you know it's like people are famous and then they're not yeah fast yeah as opposed to back in the day you know it was a little slower getting up there.

It sticks around, I don't know, I think it sticks around though too because you have the internet, there's footage. Well the problem is this, people get famous off the internet, off of clips, and you do a lot of crowd work clips. It's just a content illusion is what my friend brought up, which I love that he said that.

What do you mean, explain that. That if I do a set at the seller, I'll maybe interact with the crowd once, maybe twice max. I'll just like, I'll lead into a bit by being like, oh, you know, we dropped out, me and her dropped out of college. And I'm like, you go to college, and then I'll make a joke about what he did

versus what he went to school for versus what he did. Then I move on. But the content illusion makes it, people think that like when I walk on stage, I'm just going like, so who's got a weird shirt, you know? Well, the, like, I think that the, what happens with a lot of these people is they do these crowd war clips They get these fans they get into the fucking stupid algorithm And then they show up and they got a sold-out hour show and they stink they stay as a stand-up

Or they call end friends. Yeah, and then they have just they just do 12 minutes Yeah, and then they have like all their friends kind of fill that time yeah so it's that's and that's gonna kill comedy yeah when you show if you can have you i've seen you perform at the cellar you're fucking funny you can you know if you i think if you're working at the cellar and just doing crowd work they wouldn't work you they wouldn't no i mean even hosts you know hosts can do that a little bit more because i think that the the burden lies on them a little bit to keep the the audience good yeah they're gonna keep going to keep it fresh. Weird things happen, different things happen with every comedian. So yeah, you do. But I think that, you know, if you, as long as you have the material, I always say, I remember when my crowd work was better than my material and I was fucked.

Yeah. So I stopped doing crowd work. Yeah. I stopped. I was like, I'm out because I do crowd work and they're with me. As soon as I go into a joke, they're like, why is he talking? Yeah. Yeah. I stopped. I was like, I'm out. Because I do crowd work and they're with me. As soon as I go into a joke, they're like, why is he talking? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he trying to sell us something? It was like weird. There are times I've been on stage before where I've done more, way more material than crowd work in a show. And then I'll do a quick bit into the crowd and then I'll hear the laughs.

I'm like, that's the big ones. Those are the big laughs. And I will... I mean, look, I love crowd work. I love the big ones. Those are the big laughs that I will. I mean, look, I love crowd work. I love going up there. You're sitting in the pocket. You're letting shit happen.

But if you can intertwine your jokes with crowd work where they don't know, they think that that was all crowd work. I have people come up all the time, and dude, was that all made up? Yeah. No. I love when people think that. It's so a compliment.

That's what you should be able to do. Intertwine those two where they don't know that's the illusion. I think you can create. Yeah I mean I respect somebody goes up and just does jokes right doesn't even acknowledge them I love that too, but for me I have to be in the moment like Danny last night He was coming up to me and he's like there's a guy in the front row who's I go. I don't want to know No, I don't want to I don't now the pressures. I just wanted to come out I might never say anything right to that person you know I mean he was just doing me a solid Yeah, do you have that guy up?

We do you want me to pull it up. Yeah, pull it up. So what is it? Give me a minute because it's on my phone. I have to get to the computer. Yeah, you can do all that in your head I was letting you know it's gonna take more than 30 seconds. I just say it's on my phone I have to get to the computer. Yeah you can do all that in your head. I was letting you know it's going to take more than 30 seconds. I was going to just say it's going to take a minute. It's on my phone and I got there last night because I was home late from the bar and I just moved and I got. Where was this? This was last night at the Pussycat, my Tuesday night shows. Oh yeah I was gonna ask you about that. How was that? It's great, it's awesome. But, so he came up, I was like, dude, this guy, blah, blah,

I was like, I don't, I don't wanna see it. What was the guy, what did he do? He was sleeping in the front row. Oh. But Danny was on, and Joe was on, so I get it. Joe Russell went up, I'm like, hey guys, what'd you have? It was a seven o'clock show. What's your favorite food?

It was before the show started. Oh no. It was before the show started. He was just tired. Oh, that sucks. He was tired. He woke up for the show. That's good. But I just didn't want to know it. But I wound up somehow incorporating him in and blah, blah, blah. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if I know about it, it will kind of fuck me up. It does. I was in London and I always, people will say like, I'm like, oh, but if I know about it, it will kind of fuck me up. It does I was in London and I Always people will say like I'm like, oh have you seen my stuff? They're like, yeah I'm like if I have somebody opening for me that I never met and I give them the benefit of the doubt I'm like, hopefully you're not gonna go up there and just you know, berate the front row crowd This guy did it and he just went into the front row hard Yeah, and I was like, alright man, cuz. Because they ask for intermissions in London.

Yeah, in Europe, they have intermissions. I hate that. So I told him, I found a way around it, where I go, you're going to do 15, and then you're going to do an intermission, and then do five, and then bring me up, and I'm going to have no intermission. And so he would do all crowd work,

and then he would just come back out and be like, anyway, so this guy's weird shirt, and made fun of them all. So I was just nice, and I'm like, hey, just to let you know like is there any way you can avoid the front row? Like if you're gonna ask him questions like oh is anybody married you can go into the crowd But the front row is kind of like there's only ones I can see yeah, you know So he goes out and then I see him doing crowd work again. I go what the hell He's talking to the second row and I'm like he took it literally like don't talk to the front row

Yeah, that's that can be the worst cuz because when you're on the road, do you do like hate if your openers do like I hate I hate this. When they mentioned my name. You know what I mean? Like while and during their set. Yeah. Like I yelled at Danny last week because he mentioned my name three times in his act. Robert Kelly's coming out now, you know, but Danny does it in a funny way. He doesn't do it in a shitty way But like there are comics that go well, you didn't like that. Well, I guess you'll like Robert Kelly I guess you're here to see Robert Kelly. Yeah, I don't worry Bobby's coming out in a minute. Yeah, like him I do not like Bobby Bobby's gonna get you. I Fucking hate you for doing that. Yeah, cuz then you keep my name out your mouth. Yeah, I don't like that.

I've had that happen before too. Like, I know you guys don't like me, I'm not Jeff. And I'm like, don't do that. It's not on me, it's not on them, it's on you. Own your shit, deal with it. Don't bring me into it. I don't want my own, I want my name said one time. Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Kelly. And then I come out. What happened that the night he was talking about was I have a bit about going to see a comedy show when I was 12. And in the story I go, and the headliner of the show was a super, super dirty comic. And that's a story of me seeing a comedy show when I was 12.

And Bobby just heard, and the headliner of the show was a super dirty comic. And out of context, and he thought- Well, it was after you mentioned my name twice. Once. Twice. I listened back to the video. Listened to it again. I'll send it,

I'll play it on the podcast. Play it on the fucking podcast. You said my name twice. You said my name in your bit. And this is another thing middleers do, openers do. They leave the green room door open. They just walk in and they don't shut it. Oh, okay. I hate that. When the green room door is open? They just walk in and leave it open. So like fans and shit are just walking by. You know what I mean? It depends on the context of the-

I don't give a fuck. Shut the fucking door. And then when they leave, they leave it open. So I gotta get up. I just like- I like that little green room green room come in I'm not that guy I know comics like they kick the openers out like they gotta go find so I'm not that guy man this is your club your hometown come in hang out we'll shoot the shit whatever yeah I don't mind any of that shit but just shut the fucking door and don't mention my name. Okay. You know? Oh, here we go.

What's this? This is last night. Oh shit. He's fucking out. Oh no. This guy's front row. Beginning, I mean listen to how loud it is. Oh wow.

That's a bunch of waters too. They were done drinking at this point. This guy's fucking out. But I found out he came from a long way to be to the show to see me. And he was just exhausted from coming. So he took a nap. Oh, that's... But Danny was like, dude, look at this guy.

I was like, I don't want to see it. I don't want to fucking see it. You like running an hour in there, the intimacy of that and stuff? Well, I know, look, man, I was here seven nights a week for 25 years. Wow. You know, seven nights a week. I was here every night. But I got a family now, I live in Westchester,

so it's good for me to come down. When they opened that club up, I mean, I was here when it was just this, this comedy cellar. Yeah. And I remember when they opened up the VU, and then when they did the Pussycat, that was just a lounge that we all used to hang out in

late night, it was awesome. We used to go from here to in the VU, and then we'd just go to the lounge. Really? And the bar and the comics would be there until three in the fucking morning. I remember the bar being open with the pool table. Yeah, the lounge was the shit.

You could bring people, go up in the little balcony, hang out with people was awesome It was fun. That's cool. And then when he turned it into a club, I Was I did a live YKWD like I was like I was the first guy doing live podcasts Wow Yeah, I started doing these live podcasts with Lewis and Dan and Joe. Mm-hmm We did him at the VU. We started at the Pussycat. We did the first live podcast.

And then I was like, dude, this is a great place to run an hour. Because nobody was going there. And I asked Noam and he was like, yeah, you can run it. And then I believe Colin did it. And it's just kind of a place I can go. My fans can come see me locally and I can run my hour because I can't come down Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

Yeah. How far is your drive in? It's like 50 minutes. That can be annoying, especially if it's like two spots after 11 or something. Well, I got a kid too, you know? So it's like a lot of times I'm trying to get home to be with them, you know? Yeah. A couple married guys, you know? Yeah. A couple married guys, you know? Well, not yet.

Not yet. Not yet. I mean, you know what I mean? We're going to have to wait to see. Will you please come back on when you get divorced? I don't know how to answer that. No? No.

Because I want. I'll come back and I want to get married. I'll have her on. Will you invite me to the wedding? Want to go? I will crack the fuck up if she uses the painting thing in her vows. You'll hear me going, what the wedding? Want to go? I will crack the fuck up if she uses the painting thing in her vows. You'll hear me going, what the fuck? I think she did say something similar to me though.

Tell me what it is. Please tell me. I think I can look it up. Please tell me. I will fucking shit in my pants right now. What's the paint color? Paint? Yeah. Paint color, paint ball.

This is dead air. I'm sorry. No, it's not dead. It was just fantastic. It could have been. We'll edit this right out and cut right to you reading this color paint. I can't find it. I love that we're CSIing this whole fucking. If you find it screenshot it, send it to me and we'll put it in. OK, sounds good.

Either that or we're going to put her sixth wedding vow video. There's only two now that I know of. There's two. There's one, I know there's one, she got engaged. And she was on Fuck Island. Fuck boy. Fuck boy, sorry, I'm sorry. Fuck Island.

It does sound so much worse. Fuck old guy island. Fuck man island. Well listen listen, dude This is for you. Thank you so much This is I just want you to know one real. I want you to know one thing If it doesn't work out and it's probably not it's probably not gonna work out I'm here for you You thank you you thank you If it doesn't work out and it's probably not, it's probably not gonna work out. I'm here for you. You.

Thank you. You. Thank you. I want you to be the paint in my painting. I want you to be the paint in the paintings that we're gonna, what did she say? I don't know, he's gonna paint her or something. I don't know, does she paint?

No. She doesn't even paint? No. And she used a painting reference? I think it was from the lyric. She doesn't even paint. No. And she used a painting reference? I think it was from a lyric. That's what it says. Oh, really? She likes a lyric of a song where it's like,

you paint the color of my world. I want you to text me her vows after the wedding. I want to know if there's any. You've got to go through the vows on both of them and make sure she's not. Bobby, officiated. I will. I'm legal in New York.

He did Joe's. I will do that. I married Joe Russell and his wife really yeah I married Joe list still did you make a crack no no what do you mean a crack you crack wise no I was Joe was I funny yeah I was pretty funny good I think I I was funny and sincere right thank you buddy, you did a great job. Thank you, buddy. I'm gonna listen to her vows now. How funny it would be if we're doing the vows. It's probably gonna happen.

She quotes it in the middle of our wedding. I go, I fucking knew it. Buddy, you came on my podcast and found out at two o'clock in the afternoon she had another marriage. That wasn't a marriage. That was fake. It was, you don't know that. Look at the comments.

Buddy, you gotta let me know. Look at the comments. It was you don't know that look at the comments buddy You gotta let me know look at the other comments There were people that were mad how many moms has she met Probably a couple she's very affable outgoing person buddy. She seems wonderful. I'm just Balls it's gonna be awesome. It's great that you fucking found somebody. It's awesome. It's it alleviates a lot of like You know, yeah, like it's like I found somebody and it's like having a having somebody to talk to every night Yeah, please video games. That's great. You know, I mean, I know this wildlife now I know this though. You better run through that computer and make sure those DMS don't pop up They're all gone. I haven't DMed anybody since I met her like I want you to go on a computer and look for a file

that says taxes 2017. Look for some weird file. No, that doesn't make sense. No, I didn't want to look because I know there's nothing but also there's a file wedding vows 2003 2004. He is right. What? First comment in the mic We're gonna keep telling you that the first comment is this is so weird and kind of disrespectful to an actual wedding ceremony boom Wasn't real. Yep. She didn't love them

Looked it. She's been practicing a lot Sold me. Well, it's gonna work out. I hope you guys, I really do. The more you say that, the more I believe. No dude, it's gonna work out. Look at me. Okay. Say it. It's going to work out.

Everything's fine. We got your dates here. Can you make that a little bigger for me? Here we go. Check this out, man. The factory, St. Louis sold out out Orpheum sold out we got Madison sold out we got many Minneapolis sold out we got Toronto Austin sold out so Houston sold out Richmond Virginia sold out we got New York sold out we got Denver sold out Salt Lake City sold out

Vancouver sold out we have all this shit sold out we got Miami sold out, Salt Lake City sold out, Vancouver sold out. We have all this shit sold out. We got Miami sold out. We got Indianapolis sold out. We got Grand Rapids sold out. That's awesome. I'm excited about it. That's awesome. Look at all those shows, man. You should go to all those shows. Yeah, we're about to announce the- Florida, Vancouver, Indian Indianapolis Grand Rapids

You should go they're all sold out. That's amazing, dude. You can't get tickets. You can't get tickets to any of them Yeah, there were announcing a world tour for next year starting up. I'm gonna be in Cleveland this weekend You're doing a world. I mean, this is pretty wild I mean is not you do have you do have one hot one that's not sold out, but listen, the thing is. That's December. That's December. I got time.

Dude, make sure, what's your website? JeffRCurry.com. JeffRCurry.com, he is soon to be married to the woman of his dreams. Yeah, what was the pause? I was trying to think of something to say that was beautiful. That was great. And I was trying to think of something to say that was beautiful. That was great.

And I wanted to add a dramatic pause. You can go to Miami, Minneapolis, not sold out. You can go to Point Pleasant, not sold out. You can go to New Jersey, not sold out. You can go back to Point Pleasant, still not sold out. You can go to Beacon, might not happen. Wichita, Kansas, not sold out. Fort Smith, not sold out.

Plain, New Jersey. Morristown, New Jersey. You can go to Kansas City, not sold out. I should have, my tour should be called not sold out. Fort Smith not sold out. Plain New Jersey. Morristown New Jersey. You can go to Kansas City not sold out. My tour should be called not sold out. That would be a fun tour name. That is not sold out. Will you make that for me Joe? The not sold out tour. It's a great poster. Thank you. Will you make that for me Joe? Something rocking. Something awesome. Anyways go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly for all

my dates punch up dot live the best thing that happened to stand-up comedy in years it's it's the best it is a it's like a patreon YouTube Instagram it's your own little page where people can go and it actually tells them when you're gonna be in their area you get their email so you can tag you know email them Hey, I'm coming by I'll be there and you can put uncensored. They don't censor a thing There's no algorithm that puts you day your fans come there. They see your stuff that you want them to see that's it It's the best you should hook up with them It's yeah, it's the future for us because and I promote them all the time people I own the company. I don't. I love it. And they have an app now. You can send your

own emails out right from your phone directly to your fans. So instead of everybody else getting all their information, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, you get it. And you post it everywhere else, but you know, you get uncensored stuff. They don't censor anything. As long as you're trying to be funny, it's great, and it's up there So I usually try to send people over there instead of you know making everybody else a fucking millionaire Yeah, you know send them over there. You know so I can put my stuff up there, and it's all me And they're gonna get sidetracked with a bunch of fucking you know some guys shooing a horse And you know two Polynesian guys making a beautiful house out of mud. You know what I mean?

Just there watching my stuff. Uh, Danny and Joe, what do you got? Uh, follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff and come to comedy at verve in Summerville, New Jersey, the third Thursday of every month. And, uh, this is Joe. You can go to the cheese show. Just go to YouTube type in the cheese show and we interview comics and we eat a nice cheese and you learn a lot too. Yeah.

And you've been married for how long? Two years now. How many shows has your wife been on? How many cheese shows? No, how many shows where she got married has your wife been on? Oh zero. That's pretty good. Anyways and make sure we're gonna go to Patreon right now. We're gonna have questions for you real quick and if you want to be part of the Patreon just go to Patreon right now. We're gonna have questions for you real quick. And if you wanna be part of the Patreon, just go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, and you can be part of the ladybugs over there for the YKWD.

We do an extra episode every week. We do questions for the fans, and your questions you can ask them on the Patreon, and we ask the people right here. So, you can head over there now. If not, do me a favor, if you're listening to this, hit the like button. If you're watching on YouTube, just hit the subscribe button. Just do it. people right here.