Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #578 | Sean Donnelly & Alex Kumin

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

This week on YKWD Sean Donnelly & Alex Kumin come on to discuss Boxing, Beef Jerky, and a surprise call from Andrew Santino. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Support the show and start your free online Hims visit today at https://www.hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live. Welcome, everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day where it all started before them all. YKWD.

This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, how are you ruining this? Where podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, help me! You're ruining this! Where's the barbana, man? I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR.

That's what this podcast does! Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Hey, what's up, everybody? It's Robert Kelly, and we're back with another episode of You Know What, Dude above the world famous comedy cellar at the Comedy Cellar Studios founded by me. Anyways, excited to be back.

You alone. Then you alone. I mean, I was the first one. One man show. That is true. I was the first one. I was like, can I? the first one I was a can I gnome of course gnome is what Liz right? I mean they made it all happen. I I just said I've been the only person in this space no no everybody uses no music

Yeah, but when I when it first started it was just over here. This was noome's apartment yeah this was where Gnome lived he would stay here yeah there was like a full-on bedroom your bathroom would be like his kitchen in the back kitchen yeah it was a kitchen bathroom this was a bedroom uh this was a living room yeah also the board like was like a radio board like you used to have con so many more controls but no i didn't when we first started i thought there was like behind you let's get into this Danny who is on the show today. Oh, sorry We have Sean Donnelly Sean Donnelly and Alex cumin. Thank you for coming on now back to the episode Yeah, no we had we had dude I bought most of my equipment from Todd Lynn

Who is God rest his soul dead right and some people thank God He was a dick. Well, people had a lot of, I never met him in my life. I met him once, briefly, for 30 seconds. Who was he? Todd Lynn was a comic that worked as a seller for years, right? And then Boston as well.

You would have not liked him. Why would I not have liked him? He was a curmud because he was an angry guy. Angry guy, had a lot of stuff to prove. No, he, well here's the thing, he was a real dick. He was just mean guy. Angry guy. Had a lot of stuff to prove. No, he, well here's the thing. He was a real dick. He was just mean all the time. You know, like, Patrice was always mean to people, but funny about it.

And he was nice to you too. Todd was just kind of- A bitter edge. He, like, I remember one time we were out front and I was like, come outside. And he's like, for what, Bobby? I was like, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to punch you in your face. As soon as you come out, I'm fucking, I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna punch you in your face As soon as you come out of fucking with everything I have I'm punching you However, you and he goes Bobby

I'm a big fan. I love you, man. Why would I'm just joking? I'm like, well fucking stop joking He was like William Stevenson with better clothes Stevenson was nice. No, William Stevenson was very nice. Here's the sad thing about it. I was at Just For Laughs Festival there early in the hotel. And all of a sudden, I saw him walking up blind with a cane. And it got him. You know, the health got him.

And he was there. And he heard me. He was like, Bobby? Bobby? It's like Little House in the Prairie. And he was, and he heard me, he's like, Bobby? And it was, Bobby? It's like Little House in the Prairie. And he came over to me and I actually did one of these YKWDs when I was, and I did an episode with him and we talked and that's in one of the archives? Archival footage.

And then what'd you guys talk for? Did you guys kind of make amends or did you? Well I made amends that night when he was like,'m gonna punch you in the face cuz he was like Bobby I'm a fan. I'm just fucking with you. Do you remember what I'm sorry about? Something stupid he was just that he would they would just always you know and I look at I was I'm still a sensitive prick Who isn't it's just the way it is you know here's the thing yeah people just At least when I I was a fuck you dude Let's fucking deal with it. Let's go yeah, I

Could get to the end of it, and I could either know this person doesn't like me, and I'm glad let's fucking do it Or I fucked up, and it was a misunderstanding and you could get to the other side right yeah now I don't have that energy to get to the other side, so I just gotta not like that person. Secretly. You're silently judging. Silently hate you and want your demise. What do you do with the Q&A? Describe the internet.

Hate you. Hate you. Let me ask you this, back in the tough crowd days, how many times did this stuff end? Like you were saying, I'm gonna punch you in the face outside of the club. And he was like, I'm a fan. How many times back then did it actually come where guys were like actually fighting on the clubs? No, we never fought.

Right. But it would get hairy, right? Because we'd always be like, yeah, we get hairy. I mean, people cry first before they... Oh. It's a comic thing to do. I mean, people cry first before they... Oh. Yeah. It's a comic thing to do. Like, where you're like, you're... I'll fuck you up.

Because you seem... You're so Boston, but you're so comic at the same time. So it's like, you have both parts... I'm the same way. I was talking to Jay about this, you know. I was back in the day, fuck you, go fuck yourself, suck my dick. Right. And then I had a child whatever And I got married and I got empathy and then I was like all right

Let me help these young bucks out, and I'm not but people still come at me with that shit Yeah, like I'm gonna be like so we always talk about something buffer. I have first and sixth gear I don't have second third and fourth to go into I have dude I have, dude, what the fuck, you're hurting my feelings. I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna fucking kill you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, motherfucker. God married, had a kid, God empathy is the line. Unbelievable. It's just, it's like I wish I never developed

those inner gears that a lot of people have. Like passive aggression, I don't have that. I wish I had that. My wife had it. It's better not to. What have like passive aggression I don't have that I wish I had that my wife better not to what do you mean I don't know it's also not taught this is what I used to teach I used to teach social emotional learning in Chicago Public Schools did you really yeah can you help me you're part Irish or you're adopted Irish, I'm Irish. No, I'm Irish. You're Irish as well. You're fully Irish? You're fully Irish, are you Philly? I'm Long Island. Long Island.

Which is like more aggressive than a lot of them. Okay. Help us. Okay, help us, okay, so the first step is emotion recognition in yourself, right? So like when you, so like start with the basic emotions, happy, sad, scared, angry. Sure.

So like how do you, like identifying when you're feeling any of those, and like what are the warning signs? When I wanna murder someone, I'm scared. When you wanna murder someone. When I'm. Okay, Okay interesting because I would... What? Yeah.

Oh shit. I'm going to let you talk this out. Oh no. I fucked up. No you didn't but there's no wrong answers here. When I'm scared. Let's say scared. Scared is I'm angry.

Right? What's the other one? Okay we have happy, sad, scared, angry. Sad? I'm fucking angry. Happy? Sad, I'm fucking angry. Happy, I'm fucking pissed. There's no trees. There's no trees.

It's one line. Actually there's only one emotion. Hang on, angry, I'm fucking happy. I swear to God. It's a happy place because it's so comfortable. His inner child is just Angry Birds the to God, I get angry. It's a happy place because it's so comfortable. Yeah. His inner child is just Angry Birds the apple. But I don't.

Wait, where in Boston you from? I'm Medford. Medford. Medford, Mass. Why, you from Boston? Needham. Needham. Oh!

You're out in the middle of a fucking nice feel. I was, yeah. It's nice over there. Couple dollars. That's nice. Couple dollars. Couple, not Wellesley dollars. I'm not Wellesley dollars.

You're not Wellesley, but you're not fucking Medford. But I'm not Medford. You're not Summival. No. But neither Couple dollars. Couple. Not Wellesley dollars. I'm not Wellesley dollars. You're not Wellesley, but you're not fucking Medford. But I'm not Medford. You're not Summival. No. But neither am I. No. Abash. You had that. You guys had that Tyson guy, the famous clip,

the guy who fought Tyson. Oh, that. The Irish guy, which is one of the best clips on the internet. Wait, I don't know if I've seen that. Oh, it's fantastic. Is this why we have our headphones on so we can see a clip? Well, no, I'm just saying I heard Medford. It's a white guy who fought from Boston who fought Tyson But he had a he came up with a saying because you know yeah, oh my god was it it was bone-chilling

Because you know Boston people were so proud of anything Do a fucking roast beef cheese steak We'll fight over anything because we're retarded. Retarded. You said it, thank you for correcting. Retarded, I'm sorry. Retarded, thank you. It's not a hard R.R.

Are we gonna have to sue Costello police? Anyways, I love you Sue. Jokes, jokes. But yeah, they had this guy, this guy gave us douche shivers. We were like, I hope you lose. Yeah, did you bring him up? Of course not, why would you? Boston, fucking Tyson, white guy, Boston, that's it.

It's one of the most famous clips online. It's fucking goo goo goo goo. It's great, so basically it's a guy, there's a great white hope, this is the great white dope. I mean, great white dope. But he actually, he did a, he did a. I think it was after Tyson got out of jail right no I don't want to see the fight fuckface

I want. That's what I'm saying. You fucking fuck sucker. That's better. Danny takes a tone. Bobby jot that one down. Is that happy side scared or angry? It's been a wrong day to do it. Danny, I would like the press conference.

Absolutely. Fuck, cock, suck, fuck. It's about taking a deep breath. What did he say? Hang on one second, Danny. I'm gonna get help. What should I do? Okay, so in this situation,

when you start to feel yourself feeling really angry, as for both of my sweet Irishmen here. Wanna take a deep breath. Yeah. Wanna feel in our body where we're feeling all that heat. Yeah. Focus on it, breathe into it, right? Wherever, where are you feeling it?

I'm feeling it in my tits. Absolutely, great place to feel it. Great place to feel it. Where do you feel yours? Right, same place, baby. My only goal is to get her to say it. He does the opening speech. You breathe through it and then yeah.

Go wait, he's the sim? Wait, I'm sorry, I interrupted, I'm sorry, I apologize. No, this is more important. I mean, I'm right. We'll get there. Can I say something real quick before you play this Danny? That was nuts I mean, right Yes, I had a gut listen if it was the if it was 18 1862 1862 and I had a fucking six shooter on me. I would have literally went like this. I would've went, ping, and you would've heard, ah! I would've shot him in his fucking ear, his stupid ear.

Do you guys watch 1883? Are you watching all the Yellowstone shoot-offs? If it was 1883, Danny would have a fucking hole in his ear tonight. He would be a Dutton. You know what, I would kill him. I'd shoot him right in the forehead and I go Zack Don't talk back Next time I ask for a clip you bring it up. Danny Danny Danny Danny into the microphone

This is how everybody wants to everyone wants to fight. Yo Danny just fucking was really rude to me. I see rocks in that glass Drinkers on what does neat mean? No ice. That's it. No, I so you could have just got him a cup I didn't know you had it here. We got it. You said get him a cup Make trouble. No, that was on me. Nah, you bet. I made trouble. You made I mean to make trouble. That was on me. Nah, you meant it. I made trouble. You made, you made.

I'm sorry about that. And I meant it. Now you got the weakest guy in the room picking a lid off. Just give me the whole bottle. Go ahead, do your thing. Let's make this fun. This is way too telling.

Go. Like, Donnelly, just go. You're gonna have it anyway. Donnelly, just do it. And I want you to fight Danny at the end for disrespecting me. Joe, let me give you a backflip. Oh my God.

Keep it on the table. All right, here we go. Let's do it. Okay. Irish Hurricane Peter McNeeley. Pete McNeeley, look at this guy. I mean, this guy worked at some of a lumber. Keep laughing.

Keep laughing. Right away, he's mad. Stop, stop, stop. When we say stop, I mean, can you believe? Keep laughing, keep laughing. Keep laughing, right away he's mad. Stop, stop, stop. When we say stop, I mean, can you believe, keep laughing. Keep laughing, you fucking cocksuckers. This is before he gets up there. I mean, this guy's tough, I mean, look,

if you ran into this guy in Boston, you would be in fucking a problem. Yeah, you're not having a, it's not any wealth for you. This guy's an issue at a Home Depot But here's the thing if you look if you look to the right like that's where he does most of his destroying if you look Down to the right the most terrifying human being on the planet Earth is sitting there laughing Just thinking about ripping his skull off and shitting down his neck. I mean look at Mike Tyson I want to see how he reacts to everything he says.

OK. If any one of you doesn't respect me or what I'm doing or what I've been doing for the last three months since we've been in the house, going against a guy like this, you have a big dump in your pants. Stop, stop, stop. This is the opposite of good will hunting. You've got to see, though, this piece of shit.

It's not your fault. Who's this fucking asshole that just walks into frame? You with the glasses? I mean. I think it's soldier boy. It's just, oh my God. Why did Bobby Brown just come into frame and just sit down next to my, what a fucking asshole.

Can you move? It's my prerogative to sit here right now. If you don't have a fucking dump in your pants. A dump in your pants? What is that line? I don't know. He's, he's, this guy's a gem. This isn't even the whole thing. It's this and then he does the... The rap.

The rap and then he does... Wait, wait, wait, don't give it away. Oh, there's a lot. There's a lot. How long is this? I don't know. We have a minute and a half. We've got a minute and a half. This guy's worth it.

Here we go. Talk to. Oh, Jesus. And I'll read and I'll read my. Stop. Is that me? Asian you. That looks like me. My high school photo. I swear to God, I got to bring up my high school photo. Can you bring up?

Can you do a Google search on the side of just Robert Kelly, sexy Robert Kelly, maybe it will come up? I swear to God. Sexy Robert Kelly. That is my, I know it's hard to believe. I know that, I know that headshot. You know, she does, she has no idea. Am I about to, am I about to blow my pants out here?

Let me tell you something, if she was coming up doing comedy back when I was rolling up, if you don't, if me and her would have been hooking up and fucking holy oak in the Berkshires That's not it no, it's not it's me I look like that guy with John Waters mustache, it's a black and white photo. With the chains? What do we do? I have a bolo tie.

It's my high school, Oh, I'm thinking. Malden High School. Daddy's home. Malden High School Robert Kelly picture, whatever the fuck that is. Yeah. Before we, can we,

I got asked this question at dinner tonight, I think is a great question. What were you like in high school? Well, that's a funny question because I went to high school in ninth grade, mid ninth grade out of rehab. And I was in class, I was in the fucking retarded room for two classes and then I went to work. And then I worked my way out of it into mainstream by 11th.

Okay. And then I graduated my way out of it into mainstream by 11th. And then I graduated in regular classes. But two weeks before I was graduating, I almost got kicked out of school and expelled. For what? Because I was in my math teacher. I was in my, see, this is that fucking, there it is right there, come on.

Blow that up. He's zooming in. Oh yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. I mean, dude, look at this upstanding gentleman. You look like you have a Netflix documentary about you being wrongfully accused of murder. This is a guy who's drowns his kids in a tub. Right? I mean, is that, that looks like me 20 years later. Yes, it does.

That's what I should have looked like. Yes. Yes. Cuts off the mullet. Anyways, the kid, I was in math class and this fucking kid, who's my friend, behind me, he was just going, hey Bob, you're a fag. And I was like, shut the fuck up. Bob, you gay, fag.

And I was like, dude, stop, fag. Fighting words in Boston. It's like beyond. He kept going, fag. And I was like, dude,ag fighting words in Boston, but it's like beyond he kept going fag Yeah, I was like dude. All right, dude. Stop. Yeah 20 minutes whispering in Matt mrs. Black who I didn't like by the way Fag I was like I turn around I'm not fuckface. I'm done with you and she wasn't stopping it I was not seriously stop it. He was like, okay Hey, I picked my chair up and threw it.

You know the chair that was connected to the desk? Yes. Yeah. So you didn't... The whole thing. I picked the whole thing and threw it at his fucking head. The teacher was like, Mr. Kelly. And I was like, fuck you too, bitch.

You're letting that happen. I mean, at the top of my lungs. Did she know? Did she hear it? She knew. Because she kept doing it. She probably wasn't asking you sort of where you were feeling the anger in your body at that point. I went to the, I went to my principal's office, Mr. it. She probably wasn't asking you sort of where you were feeling the anger in your body at that point.

I went to my principal's office, Mr. D, and I was like, you probably want to see me. He's like, what happened, Bob? Because I was great. I was awesome. Yeah. I got a scholarship. Yeah. I was great.

Three years of amazing. And then all of a sudden it just went shit. And he said, listen, my foster father, Ken Laz, great Jewish guy, Mazel tov she's like listen he's been through so much he's come so far you cannot do this to them two weeks left so he let me graduate I had to stay home for two weeks okay not come in I got to graduate with my class and I got the scholarship yeah still it's just like it's so tarnish It's a nice well when he just did that to me when he was like, what do you want me to get? That's Looks like looks like we're peeling back layers of the onion here tonight

I mean and it would have happened today. It would have been an investigation like the back then they were like I see what yeah, they're like we can figure this out. We can talk. We can deal with this behind closed doors. Yeah. Oh, you could be able to throw a desk at a kid's face. But I would have came, because he called me gay. And I am gay. And that's a hate crime.

I would have been like, yeah. You could have doubled down. And that's a hate crime. I'm like, I don't like people. I like gay people. And you don't fucking do that. And I would have been like, and this teacher didn't do anything about it.

And her name is Mrs. Black. Oh my god. Oh my god. That's racist. I would have fried them all. And I would like and this teacher didn't do anything about it. And her name is Mrs. Black. Oh my god. Oh my god. Racist. I would have fried them all. You would own the school. I would have sucked everybody's dick in that club. I would like I so what if I'm Just to graduate. I just suck a dick to graduate. What were you like in high school? I was I was like trying to be funny. I was in same kind of thing. I had I was on a non regents Chemistry class when I was in 11th grade. What does that mean? It means that you just kind of hang out for 40 minutes Regents is a New York thing. It's a test you take. Okay, besides the SATs take regents

Yeah, okay. So like non regents meant like well, let's just put them's a test you take. Besides the SATs, they're Regions. So non-Regions meant like, let's just put them in a room for now. I did that. I had Mr. Lyons, he had his own little office that all the fucking weirdos went to. So I would hang in his office, I went to two classes, hang in his office, and then I went and worked at a Styrofoam factory.

A Styrofoam factory. A retarded guy was my boss. Sweater guy. Yeah, I swear, class guy? Old Jewish guy, Mr. Goldberg. Bobby, you're late. He was stereotypical, a guy out of a movie. Stereotypical retarded too? No, he wasn't retarded.

My boss, the guy, not my boss, but the guy who ran the stuff. We made Styrofoam balls and we made Styrofoam peanuts and he would be like, Bobby, put the thing over there. And he just knew what he was doing with styrofoam. He just knew it. And there was two Mexican ladies that worked there too. Then they put the balls together.

They would glue them together, the balls we made. I had another one that was a year, it was a math class that was a year. They didn't even hide it. It was like, it's the ABC class. And what it meant was that it's three semesters. So it spilled into the next year. It's like, you're not to figure this out in a year.

I had my teacher, Mr. Lyons, from ninth grade to tenth grade, he brought me into some office. He goes, you need a credit. Oh, sorry. Excuse me. You need a credit. I go, what? He goes, when you were in juvie hall, did you do school? I was like, yeah.

He goes, what did you do? It's terrible. They gave us, we went you do? I go, it's terrible. They gave us, we went to school like twice a week for an hour, they gave us a paragraph and then five questions. And he was like, great, history. And he goes, did you do art? I was like, yeah.

He goes, great, art. He gave me two credits to get to 10th grade. Yeah, they just tried to help you. But they were, that was good. They were all lies, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was good. They were, they were. I mean, it was all lies, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah.

We had, when I was- Does anyone need any, but like, no, yeah. Well, I was in that chemistry class. The guy who taught it was the man, this guy, Mr. Donovan. He was awesome. He was like, probably 30, and he was like, just cool with everybody. And there was a kid in the class, this is what,

this is what Donobreages was. The kid's nickname was Boner, because he didn't know what one was. Yep. That's one of those kind of things. People called him Boner in high school, because he didn't know what one was. That's one of those kind of things. People called him Boner in high school. Because he didn't know what a Boner was. Because he didn't know what a Boner was. So that right away he was Boner.

Right? Nobody tried to suck his cock and teach him? That's what I would have done. Right? It was in Medford, I guess. Absolutely. Okay. Where was it?

It was in Garden City, Long Island. That's where it was. And one day he goes off to the bathroom. Boner had his lunch out. Had his lunch out and he went off to the bathroom to wash his hands and I was like, oh, as a joke, I put his grapes on his bologna sandwich. Just as like a stupid high school joke. Thinking he'll come back and be like,

asshole, what's your problem? He comes back, he takes one look at it and he goes, my mom put grapes on my bologna sandwich. It was like the first moment of comedy where I was like, this is amazing. I can't believe this worked that well. And it's like a non-regions chemistry. Nobody's learning in this thing. What's the way? Oh my God. Where did you go? Need a mic.

So you had it. You're smart. You're you had, you're smart. You're smart. I'm a- You're very smart. You're smart. Just say it. I'm a smart. No, I was- Listen, you're talking to-

This guy was making grape sandwiches. He's making grape bologna sandwiches. And I fucking all my classes were forced. I was class president. I was class president. I played soccer. I wasn't like remedial math though. I can't count.

Class president? I was class president. So you got the prime fucking penis. I mean, no- The quarterback? Because I was a tomboy because I played soccer. You got the prime scissoring. You got scissored with the soccer team. I was just best friends with all the guys I wanted to have sex with. They were just like, none of them wanted to like date me.

Really? Yeah, it sucks. I know, I didn't get hugged like three years ago. Yeah, because I was a funny girl. They all called me by my last name. I was like the last name, I was like Cuman. I'm like, oh, it's human like that's like how your buddy I know I was friends. Oh, I was friend zone with all the pink girl in Greece Yeah, exactly Wow, that's now you how can I ask old you are yeah, of course 37 sucks. Now, are you, can I ask how old you are?

Yeah, of course, 37. 37, how old are you? 46. I'm the oldest in the room. How old are you? Yeah, but we look the same age. No, you're not. If not, you look better.

54. Going on 55. You look amazing. Thank you, you look amazing too. Oh my God, this is a fucking New England hookup right here. You want a co-headline? Is it Poconos? Duck Duck?

Comedy studio. Have you been to Allentown? Have you been to the dojo at tips? What do you know about Beverly? I know a lot about Beverly actually. I bring that thing back up. Let's watch this fucking turn. When it. I'm sorry. It took us a week. When he does the poem slash rap thing, you have to watch that one. I can't wait for the rest of this. Look up, just search his name, Danny, if you can. It all should come up. Right here.

Bring it up. It's the same thing? This is the same thing. Bring it up. OK. Peter McNally from Menfield, Mass. On Saturday night, watch me kick Tyson's ass. That's like 20 minutes.

Have you ever made your pay-per-view arrangements yet? Make them soon, because remember what happens when I wrap you in my cocoon. Oh my God. Listen, wait a minute. You gotta see the Tyson. Look at all these brothers in the front going, oh this motherfucker, don't know't have a ride This looks like a roast. It's like a bombing and a roast Comedians, I mean, we're just laughing and no doubt if you didn't make your favorite Make it soon before I wrap you my cocoon doesn't even make sense and he read you read it from a paper I read it. He had to like he had to be because. Because he wrote it four minutes before he went out there.

No, that was three weeks before. He had that prepped. Can we come up with better things to say in that moment? Can we come up with better things that he could have said? Never mind. Hang on one second. Danny's just trying to get us to be funny. Danny's trying to give us, hey guys, if this is my young friends podcast,

they'd go, what if he said this? What if he said that? All right, Danny, what do you, Danny. Is he mid, Danny? He's so mid? Danny. You've sussed me, you've sussed me. Oh my God, you guys are so.

But he does have Riz, so. Yeah, but we're all fucking boomers. Danny, what do you think he would say Danny put it back on him? Yeah, I didn't even have headphones that I don't know what he did say Zach switch today is there more who's that? I'm kidding Zach. I know you're back there. All right, so there's another clip where he's behind He's waiting to go out and he has his gloves on and he go and he's doing Dedications going this is for medfit. Oh, yeah, this is when he's coming out for the fight, right? Yes

All right, Danny when it's just one more, I don't want to keep you know, I don't know why would you care? He's producing the cell. He's fine Danny bring his name up again. You'll see him in the back when he's coming out. He's that's going It's this is he actually was at one of my shows when I was at the Columns. No way! Stop. Outside Boston? It's off of the Route 9?

What? What's up? That's a frame here, you fucking dumb whore. Sorry. It's Route 1. Route 1, Norway! Fuck you. On the auto.

Stop, Route 1 in fucking Saugus, you weirdo. Oh, so, fuck me. How sorry. When was this? That's such a Boston woman thing to say where it doesn't mean it's not sexual at all. It's like, ah. Fuck me.

Fuck me, Joe. Fuck me. They just had Reacher, season three, and there's a Boston girl in it, and I knew she's got the accent down so good, and one of the things, something happened, she went, ah, fuck me. I was like, that's such a Boston woman thing. It is.

There it is right here. Thank you, Danny. This is for my grandfathers. Hang on. My grandmothers. My mothers. My father. My mother.

Hang on, hang on. Curly. My three brothers, last but not least, Snobby. They know who it is. Wait, wait, he's not done. He's not done. He's not done. He's not done.

And last but not least, Ned Field! Wait, wait, who won? Watch. Now you see clips from the fight. I would never hit you. I know. I'd hit my wife in front of you if that's what you're going to do. Here we go. I mean, one, two.

This is so... It's just... I mean... Look at... Oh, man. It sucks. Was I mean. It's just. I mean. But, I mean. Look at, oh man. It sucks. Was this round, what round was it? Round one.

Round one. Was round one a minute 37 seconds in? He's already looking at Jesus. Look at that, just absolute. I think it was that he was right out of jail, right? Was this after jail? Right after jail? Tyson?

Yeah. No, cause he didn't have the tattoos. Oh, okay. Did he have the, the face, the mouth tattoo? Mao tattoo maybe maybe this is like when shit went down though because this is like one of these fights that yeah yeah something like that it was a it was it was a listen it was this was the bullshit we're getting now with the Logan Brothers I was just gonna say watching watching this and then knowing that he was still fighting four months ago is... This is Don King, who was the original Logan, Paul,

or what's the other one? Logan, Paul, and Jake Paul. Jake Paul, yeah, Jake Paul. It's the same shit. They're putting on these fights. It's a spectacle. Yeah, because you want it. It's a spectacle. You're going, oh, what's gonna happen?. They're putting on these fights. It's a spectacle. Yeah, cause you want it. It's a spectacle.

You're going, oh, what's gonna happen? I'll tell you what it is. We want Rocky so bad in real life, but we'll never ever get a white guy that will beat up black people. It's such a fucking horseshit. Not at the same. Never again.

It's gotta be a... The glitch goes for three minutes. Yeah, but they're not white guys. No, no, no. They're Russians. They're Russians. We want that fucking meathead Snuffy we want One more one more thing and last but not last but not least but one more last but not in the I want my grandmother's

We wanted this fucking off this ch, this chooch to win. Cause we wanted Rocky. We want Rocky so bad. And they- We all want a hero. They all keep, they keep doing this to us. They always give us that great white hope where this guy's gonna go in and knock that. You know how fucking exciting Boston would have been if this fucking oof went in and knocked the black guy out and became champ?

They would have leveled, they would have burned him to the ground. Oh my god. They would have shit on Larry Bird's chest. Fuck you, you fucking ginger. We got a new king. We got a new king. Mayfield! They switch out the Rocky statue for this guy.

Oh my God. He just got that. Oh my God. Where is he now? He's not, I mean he had to have. He looks like an avatar from a video game. Look at that picture. He looks like Glass Joe in the first round of Minecraft.

He just got hit by Mike Tyson in the face. Not like hit, like just every angle. just connected with every guy put him back before Christ That's like dinosaur forehead right there. He just gave this guy frog Luddite. Yeah, he's a He's not a human right now. Look at his thoughts right now like I Fucked up so bad that hurt way more than Don King said it was gonna hurt That hurt way more than Don King said it was gonna hurt. I didn't realize this is what I signed up for. So you mentioned that real quick you came to Calhoun. Calhoun's. Calhoun.

Which is a Chinese food place that had comedy. So good though. I heard it's great. Can I ask you a question? How long have you lived here? In New York, three years. How long do you live in Boston? Your whole life? Whole life, but I lived in Chicago for 11 years. Okay. Chicago's great. Boston has the best Chinese food.

Absolutely, no doubt. Without a fucking doubt. Is that true? That's not true. It is true because there's a huge Jewish population there and also Chinese food. I'm sorry, New York. Nice to meet you. Huge Jewish population. Yeah, but Chinese food doesn't. You guys mix with Spanish. You guys mixed your Chinese with Spanish.

You put peas in it. It's not. So you still have Chinese people making the Chinese food? Pan-fried dumpling, and I mean, next level. And I've not found it here. I've just not found it here. You can't find it here.

And here's why. It's... Is it Szechuan? Polynesian. Polynesian. We have Polynesian, which is, we it Szechuan? Polynesian. Polynesian. We have Polynesian, which is... We're Szechuan. Hawaiian, what?

They call it Szechuan in all these restaurants. Yeah, you guys are Chinese food fans. American Chinese. That's Chinatown. You guys are like Chinese people. We're a Polynesian island. We're Tiki shit. Oh, I didn't know that. Barbecue Sparrow, pan-fried dumpling,

a fried rice escalion pancake in Boston hits harder. Lobster sauce. Oh! That came out thick. That came out thick. Lobster sauce. You think that came out thick there. That came out thick right here.

Unbelievable. You got lobster sauces. No. Yeah, dude, over fried rice, and our fried rice is like brown. It's different. It is so different. Because they, and they have hunks of pork in it.

Huge. Huge hunks of pork. Of like, oh God. No, this is a hot take. I've never heard this in my life. It's a real hot take because there's, and the Chinese food here is great. They have a place.

Chinatown is great. Like I love doing like a dumpling run in Chinatown. Like it's great. They have a place. Chinatown is great. Like, I love doing like a dumpling run in Chinatown. Like, it's great. They have a place in Staten Island. They have a Polynesian Chinese place. I don't know if I can know. You're not going. No, I'm not going to fuck up.

I wouldn't take a boat to get pussy in Staten Island. Back when I was single, I remember I went there once for a trip. And she was smoking hot. I went there one time on the way back. You took a boat to a woman. How long did it take you? It took me the ferry. Door to door.

The ferry, like 30 minutes. I've never been on it. I was longer than that because I got on the ferry, then you had to take a bus or cab. You took a boat to a bus for pussy? Yeah, it was good pussy. Was it good? Was it worth it?

It was worth it for that night, but I told her I go, she goes, I'll see you again. I go, no. No. And she's like, why? I go I I heard a boathorn coming here. I never You go move to mainland yeah, I'd rather fuck a chicken man One bus It was bad. I didn't like fucking around with chicks in Queens. That was annoying. That's right. I only like chicks in Manhattan And the only you get has to get more and more convenient so can you say you're single I've had to take I've had to

Take two buses to a guy before and I was like Are you take crosstown and then to downtown? I took a Crosstown and Uptown. There's no way you're horny after two buses. No, because I'm on, I'm with bus people. I'll tell you what it was. He was black. I was Crosstown and Uptown. I'll tell you what it wasn't.

It wasn't a white man. Am I right? That's what he was. He was, right? He was black. He was black, right? He was not white. Are you sure?

Because white guys are not white. He was black. He was black. He was black. He was black. He was black. He was black. He was. He was, right? He was black. Through the parking lot of Broadway. He was black, right? He was not white.

Are you sure? Because white guys aren't going to make a dick of ours. Just going to make sure you don't have hepatitis B by the time you get there. I live on 154th street. You can take the Crosstown and then the Uptown. And you ain't taking Uptown for a fucking six-inch white dick. He's thinking, just like, what are you doing? Like taking a piss? Heavy flow. uptown and you ain't taking you ain't taking uptown for a fucking six-inch white dick he's like what are you doing I'm taking a piss heavy flow I'll be

there in 30 I can hear it hitting the water that's that's you probably know how long was that when you first got here it was actually my most recent that ended it was always like oh you, you're kinda hanging out. You're hanging out. Is he a comic? No. Oh, good. Two buses.

No more comics. That's a, that's, I. Two buses. That's a lot. One train for an hour is worth more than two buses. I fully agree. I fully agree. New York sentence.

I fully agree. One train where you're not switching for an hour, 40, 50 minutes. Because I can bring a book. I'll bring a book on an hour. I can read. I know you guys can't read, but I can read. I'll bring a book on a train for an hour.

I can read. Two buzzwords. I can read. I can audio book. I can read any book. Oh, YouTube, whatever the fuck you read. I'll know it quicker. Bedfield.

Isn't it weird to tell somebody when you listen to an audio book, you feel so much dumber? What are you read? I'll know it quicker. Bedfield! Isn't it weird to tell somebody when you listen to an audio book, you feel so much dumber? You go, I can't. What are you reading right now? I'm listening to this book. I wanna ask you a question, because I've done this where I would always,

okay, you're gonna hook up with somebody they're gonna come back to your place, but you want them out the next day. Oh, so hard. That's why I always go to the place so that I can leave. Get the fuck out. See, I would always have a girl over,

especially a Saturday night, but I want you out. Out. Like, stay. What would you do? What would you do? That's a nice thing. Give me the... I would do this.

Okay, I have so many questions. This could be such a nice long conversation. What are the things? So this is one night stand? Here's what I do. So Saturday night, look, I want, let's talk. You're single, you're single days. Single?

Single days, you're here, what are you here at this? You're performing? Seller, Boston. You're Boston, you're seller. You meet a woman at a show. Yep, absolutely. We're hanging out after. Hanging out.

You bring her back. And where do you live in Boston? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I take it over to French Roast first. You get a cup of coffee out of me. Maybe a small order of frites. Pardon me. Yes.

And then you're gonna get a nice park bench story. You're gonna get a little New York romance. I'm gonna find a bench. Wow. Daddy came to play. We're gonna talk a little bit after that. Maybe a little kissy-lissy. This in the morning or this at night?

This at night. This at night. This is at night. That's a nice romantic New York evening. You're gonna see me at a show, just rock the fucking, what, I might put my leg up and then get a real good laugh and then look at you right in the face and be like, what's up?

Wow. Little, little. See you later. Little one of these? See you in a bit, make you special. Made you special. Who did you target? What was your type? Who would you target? I wanted a chick with a vagina. That was the one thing.

I've heard about this. Vagina and a plus? I like girls who like me. You know what I mean? I don't have to fucking dilly dally with horse shit. So then you bring them back and then the next day what I would do is I would put all the clothes folded at the end of the bed, and I'd open the door, I'd go, beat it. Out, out, out. Like a horse. Like a horse and a dog.

And as they're leaving, I'd hand him a cup of coffee, I'd be like, here you go, beat it. And a post, I'd give him a post or a daily, whichever was available. Yeah. And I'd slap him, here you go, beat it. And a post, I'd give them a post or a daily, whichever was available. Yeah. And I'd slap them right on the ass, I'd be like, see ya later, you did a good job, kid. Nice job.

No. I had- What was the, what's the move? Because there is a move. At the end of the day, I had a move like this. In the morning. I would have, it depended on what day I had. I would always use an audition, if it was like a Sunday, but I've used it on a Sunday

and a Monday, the weekday stuff is easier, but I did that one time at it back Friday because I was like, I have an audition tomorrow early, I need to get up early. So she's like, okay, I have to get up early too. And I was like, okay, great. So I woke her up and usually they would just leave. Oh, you would say night before you would go night before an audition. So I would do it at the beginning of the date. Genius.

Beginning of the date. Which is also to be more respectful because it gives her the option to say, I would rather if this is not my vibe. Or I could say, hey, you know what? I canceled my audition. I like you. Let's go to Berklee. Which is a big win for her for her

Well, here's the thing though I think that's bad That's our age right and you're younger than us But like don't you think there's an understanding now where most people are like we're doing this and I'm getting the fuck at like There's not is there still people that are like we're spending the whole day the next day together Isn't that kind of like antiquated at this point or no? I don't know if it's antiquated now as much as... The assumption is like we're going to go do like activities? For a one night stand?

I'm going to say antiquated just to say it. This is the first time. It's the first time you've heard the word before. I feel actually I feel like it's antiquated. But all those audiobooks. Here's what happened. Here's what here's when you have to listen to juxtapose sort of my favorite app, juxtapose my favorite app.

You can take any photo, put another photo. I mean, it's great. Get an app. Oh, you're, is this real? It's a great app. What is it? Yeah. If you want to do stuff, you can take a photo and then take another photo, put it on juxtapose it

and then take the head, put it on anything. You can do whatever you want. Oh, that's brilliant. That's brilliant. Okay. Here's the thing. So the next day she wakes up. I wake up. Okay She goes, okay. What training you taking? I was like, oh, I gotta take the six. She goes, oh me too Oh, so I was like fuck I'm taking it way down. She goes, oh, I take it all the way down

I had to get up and get on the Fuck down to Wall Street get off Walk back and make sure she's not around. I gotta fucking make that. Well, I'm actually going to Jersey, me too. Got back on the train, going away. I'm going to Staten Island, I have to take the ferry to the bus, actually.

Fucking made me sick to my, this bitch, she knew what I was doing. I'm actually going to Virginia, me too. Yeah, I'm taking the Chinatown bus back to Boston, actually. Usually it's like, all right, I gotta go, I'm taking, she'd be like, all right, I'm leaving. Then we'd just leave, she was like, worse. Taking the Chinatown bus back to Boston, actually. Usually it's like, all right, I'll see, I got to go. I'm taking, she'd be like, all right, I'm leaving. Then we just leave. She was like, what train?

I was like, fuck, six, me too. God damn it, I should have picked the fucking. But that's also a psycho. Nine of the one. That's also a psychopath. Who does that? Oh yeah. Who does that?

Yeah, who comes home with me to 97th Street and Lex when I live in an apartment and my bedroom is in a hallway of an African man? Yeah, she's a psycho I got it. I get it two buses Nice two buses one across You live with a Nigerian prince now, let me ask you question My friend Shawnee. Yes, sir. You you we both lost weight

We die game by game back but I'm but I did I'm better than I was now How did you lose it? Intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting and then because of it, I started cutting out things like crazy. So I started cutting out beer and soda and bread. Such a hard thing to do. It's so hard, but once I saw the results of the intermittent, which actually worked.

Tell me what you do. What's your deal, what's your hours? 12 to eight. 12. No eating. No eating. 12 to eight, wait a minute. 12 to eight, 12 to eight, eat. I eat from noon to 8 p. 12. No eating. No eating. 12 to eight, wait a minute. 12 to eight, 12 to eight, eat.

I eat from noon to 8 p.m. And then I don't eat before or after that. Oh, so. And then at times I try to go as far as I can. So I'll go to like two. And it works. And then I'll still go eight. It worked for me.

And then I slipped, because I got lazy and I wasn't moving around as much. And now I live in Manhattan, I live in Lower East Side. So if it's below 40th Street, I walk to everything that I do. So I coupled that together, that I could get my head around. I'm not a diet person, I would love to take classes, I've done them, I get bored right away,

but if I walk everywhere in the city and also by cutting out the calories, so it was basically cutting calories, but the time thing, and it affected my Essary flux the digestion Able to sleep better. Well, you know, you're not eating right before you lay down I was I eat like shit, but it made me eat better I want vegetables fruit walking is huge the walking is huge the walking is huge for for lifelong And it's so low impact that you can keep doing that. That's why people in New York live for fuck

I wish I could wish I could be one of those those runner maniacs I can't do it Also running for this shit. I was a runner. It's fucks up your head fucks up all your joint. She was in high school with a good Remember she was a valedictorian Motherfucker I was in class president. She had a letterman jacket, but she was still the chick Excuse me, I was the gay letterman She was the non lesbian lesbian Beauty school drop out Beauty school drop out Beauty school drop out I love you said you earlier you said I became hot three years ago.

Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. That's no. Yes. I was not. I was like, I was like a little overweight in high school and then I a little over, not like overweight, but I just like wasn't, I wasn't like, I did not look like this until five years ago.

What'd you do? Well, I was, I ran a lot in my 20s, and then in my 30s I started like boxing. You box? That's big. It's really hard. You box? I did for, with Sergio, I did it for Sergio for a bit.

So overthrow, is it overthrow? And then I hurt my ankle stepping off a curb. That's hot. It couldn't go back. That's really hot. I'd fuck your ankle. So hot, I'll fuck your ankle. I'll fuck your ankle.

I'll fuck your ankle, you watch. I'll watch you fuck his ankle. You watch me fuck his ankle. And that was when I was fatter, so he took it easy on me. I was bigger. My biggest was 270. I was 270.

I tell ya, I got. How tall are you? 5'8", 5'8 and change. And what was your, you have lost a ton of weight. Yeah, you lost... How tall are you? 5'8". 5'8 and change. And what was your... Close to 5'9, but not quite. You have lost a ton of weight. Yeah. You lost 360.

You were a 360? You were a 360. Top? Top, yeah. Top was 360. 350, 360, 360. And where are you at now? I'm at 320.

I have a little bit to go. I think I'm 230. Are you? No, you're not. Yeah, 230. That's significant. What do you do? But I lift weights'm 230. Oh, you know you're not I yeah 230 that's significant, but I I Put I lifted weights a lot so I yeah, I I put a I'm not that I'm big but I put no No, hey, guess what? Yeah, I well hang on one sec. I

Know but I I tried to pull you back from Danny. I felt it. I was Right Danny I I was gonna kill him. I mean, you heard the fucking dude, right? Danny, say sorry. I couldn't stop you. Danny? I apologize. I don't like that either. He's still shit. He's still shit. That's also a Boston thing.

You know why he's mad? He's mad because his fucking beef jerky got beaten out by a fucking CVS brand and his fucking filet mignon horse shit. And he's mad at me because I gave you the beef jerky from me and you guys both pick my beef jerky. Danny, it's not my fault that people like what they like. We picked Bobby's beef over your beef, sorry. What did you say? I would rather eat a horse's asshole than your stupid beef jerky. I hope you eat a horse's asshole because you're a piece of shit because your beef jerky sucks ass you little thin. My beef jerky makes people come all over the world

from smelling it. Yeah my beef jerky. That's gross. Yeah that's disgusting. Yeah thank you Sean. I didn't know what to say. I don't know how I feel about that. I liked the battle up until that point. Also. Check please. Dude you're I never had a beef jer where it's like, it tastes like fresh meat. No, it's like, it's got the consistency and the chew of meat. Yeah. His was like a paper meat. His is Michelin star meat and yours is drugstore meat and... Yours is like meat crackers. Yeah. It's very, very, very good. Mine's good meat. Do you know what yours is is yours is Kraft mac and cheese and he's and he's like the like restaurant. I don't like that I don't like that at all. I like I prefer Kraft mac and cheese

Like shit you'll like yours hey Danny talk again Processing his emotions yet. We still have to get there. But did you, how did you do it? Did you do, did you do no carbs? No, no, no, I got the, I was gonna die. What was your, what was the catalyst? I, no diabetes though.

I, hang on, I, Let's do a fat circle. I Know I skin tags Plenty I got mine all went away from the losing weight skin tags are from from diabetes and insulin Insulin and because you have this stuff right underneath your skin or all those little things and then when you have insulin your things all fucked up, your insulin, your sugar's fucked up, it creates these little skin tags that pop up. When you control that, they'll just go away. You ever see fat people have skin tags all around the back of their neck?

That's insulin shit. That's sugar. Oh, interesting. But, I could have just made all that up too. Yeah, I would have taken that. I would have too. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's true. But here's the thing. I got the gastric sleeve surgery a long time ago, right? Where they, they, it's, they do the surgical. It's not okay. Here's the, they do the, the band, which is no good. They do the bypass, which they take all your shit and bypass it, no good. The one I got, well they just take your stomach

and they go from this to this. Yeah. Okay, so you just can't eat. So it's almost, it's like a governor. Do you have to prep for that in terms of like, do you have to eat less leading up to it? Yeah, you're supposed to get your whole prep. You're supposed to get your BMI down to a certain percent.

I happened to go on a European tour with Louie and ate my face off in Milan, Rome, Paris. Yeah, that's the worst thing. Fuck, I spit in it. I mean, I was a fucking tub of shit. The desserts from Amadeus. You remember seeing Amadeus? You can't get a bypass surgery

after you go to the fucking land of cheese. Oh, I did. I had fucking fried fried frog on bread and Chicken with frites. Let me tell you something dude, but here's the thing about the food over there I actually lost five pounds because it's good. It's good. So when I came back, I should have lost 15 I lost five The friend of mine did the surgery. We were still good. My BMI was still good enough to do the surgery But here's the key now It's the older you get, after 45,

you have to lift weights, that's it. You have to get, I got a pair of dumbbells, adjustable, off a fucking Facebook marketplace, cheap, think of 150 bucks, 200 bucks, and you have to curl, or you can get the rubber bands too. Curl, you have to rip muscle. You have to rip muscle. If you don't rip muscle,

you're gonna gain weight, lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, and every time you're gonna lose muscle, and your joints, your ligaments, everything's gonna get fucked up. So I got a walking treadmill, which is just walking, and it folds, goes underneath the couch,

wherever you want it, right? Just walk. You walk a mile or two, and then I lift weights four times three times a week four times a week where it's biceps full body or tris chest and I'm done and I do that but I don't do heavy weights I don't crank out. It's like yeah it's just for the... So what do you do? You wake up in the morning you do like a half hour working out? I do I do a 15 minute band workout twice or three times a week.

And I do a biceps, shoulders, and chest three times a week with weights, like dumbbells, but only 35. People make fun of me doing fucking 35. Suck my dick. And then I walk. Like city walking's great. Anytime I can take stairs, I take stairs. You walk by your house? Walk by your house, walk around your,

around your neighborhood. Yeah. I'll go downtown. I'll walk downtown. But I'll also, uh, I have that treadmill dude. It's like a hundred. It's a hundred and something bucks. It's a hundred and something bucks. That's it for those. Hang on. Dawn, I'm on the podcast. What's up? Hi, good night. We'll talk to you later. Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I love you so much. I love you so much I love you so much I love you sorry Max I'm sorry oh that's it mother fucker your treadmill is getting trashed who you think you like any it's

1111 make a wish wishing for no diabetes. No skin tax for any of us. Anyone in this room except for David. I'm going to fuck it. I mean, did you just hung out with me? I mean. Was that Max? Yeah, it was Max. How old is Max at this point?

Eleven. Wow. What the hell, Max? Where the wild things are. That's a teenager thing to do. Does he love that book? Huh? Does he love Where the Wild Things Are?

No. That's Max. He's not queer. That's Max. He's not queer. He's not Wes Anderson. Why is she not answering now? This is what drives me. Why do they get mad and then you... No, but I don't understand why she's right there.

The phone is there. The phone. Hello? Oh! Oh boy! Oh boy! And then she'll call back and you'll not pick it up. No, I think she'll call back. No, she ain't gonna call back. This. Does Max have a phone? No phone.

Does he have a phone? I look good with that little beard though. Mom. Hello. Mom. This is your mom? No, my co- Mama. Dawn. Dawn. I love you guys. I love you guys I love you Max did you hang up on me why I'll see you

guys in the morning I love you Max I love you too. I love you Dawn. I love you too. Okay. I feel like Max meant more than you. Am I crazy? I mean she was shitty acting. I mean Max was like, I love you too. And she was like, I love you too. You know one thing people don't know about you? That I'm bisexual. Bisexual. Bisexual., yeah. Bisexual.

Lot of dicks. Know what? Fantastic actor. I can see that. Cause you don't act that much usually, right? What do you act? I act in a... You are a really great actor.

I'm not just saying this to... So... What was the last thing you acted in? I forget. Right, you don't do it that much. But you know you're a good actor. What did you do? The whole world, because we had a-

Because of COVID? No, COVID fucked it up. And then, you know, it's just- and then now, like, my- the roles I would get don't go to me anymore. They go all over the place now. And there's not- acting's in a weird spot. It is. Well, it's also not worth it as much as it was.

Well- Would you do theater? Do you think you would like theater? I did theater back in Boston. See? At BCA. Oh, shit. Okay.

That's the thing that you know is true, but you don't say, talk about it at all, right? What, go do a theater and shit like that? No, because you're a fucking fantastic actor. No, because you can't. You can't say it. I can't say it by myself. I sound like a dickhead. I'm not saying I'm a fantastic comedian. I'm a good comedian't you can't say it said by yourself. I am I you know you sound like a dickhead

I'm not saying I'm a fantastic comedian. I'm a good comedian. I'm a good actor Well, you can't say that about yourself. No, you can't well people do you see the timothy chalamet speech He says oh great and pursuing great. I like that. I like that. I do I know people don't do this I'm pursuing greatness. I want to I like these greats. I love these greats. I wanna be one of them. These are the ones I like. These are the ones I look up to. You can say whatever you want. I can get the fuck. Yeah, I know, but with comics, you're gonna get trashed.

I know. You're gonna get trashed. Dude, cool is the enemy of funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's the Colin Quinn thing. Yeah, so, I mean, it's Chris Rock. But it's one of those things where I'm like, even... Not the...

I'm sorry, Collin, if you wanna... No, but... It's a weird thing. I mean, I love acting, but people don't like it, and comedians hate it. But I don't give a fuck. What do you like about acting? It can be fun. The whole fucking thing. The whole thing.

I do, I like it. Do you like to be another person? Do you go to auditions? I've gone to auditions, I've acted a little... I struggle with it. I struggle with finding a character outside of myself. Like I have. I like the weirdness of it. I think comedy for me, you have to be really vulnerable

and honest for me, because I don't really write jokes. I'll go up on stage and talk about shit that's going on and what's happening right then and there. And it's very honest, it's very vulnerable. With, I don't know, with acting, you can be a little weird. It's weird, it's a fucking weird, to pretend in front of people. It's play.

Is weird, it's a weird, as an adult, it's weird. But I kinda, I'm all right with that. Yeah. You know, and if you got people that are good at it too, you know, it's cool. And it's like actors, I don't know. It's a different. They would never do, I used to be married to one.

Their biggest fear is stand up. Oh dude, you were an actor, you were married. I was married, divorced. When the fuck did you get divorced? About seven years ago. Seven years? I was married for six together for nine, divorced seven years ago. Seven years ago? I was married for six, together for nine, divorced seven years ago.

Now, people say that divorce is awesome. It's exactly the right way it should have happened. I have zero regrets. We don't talk, so I miss that, we're friends. But it's, yeah, it's pretty, right after I got divorced, yeah, I lived alone for the first time after that. It was incredible.

I like my situation now. I live with my girlfriend and her son. I love it. When I was living alone, I missed them, would go back down and all that jazz. But man, I was alone for three years in an apartment and it was fan-frickin' testing. Now, you're a maniac.

What? You're a maniac. Yeah. Have you been divorced? You bought a, not yet. You bought a smoker a smoker. Not yet. You bought a smoker. You want to tell her? Bitch talks to me like that again. He lives in Queens in a two bedroom.

You had a smoker? Into a smoker. Are you out of your fucking mind? Well here's the thing. He's talked about this a few times. It's crazy. Yeah, he should. Everyone should keep talking about it.

I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker.

I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. I gave him the smoker. Fucking mind. Well, here's the thing Yeah, he should everyone should keep talking about I gave him the smoker you got a we talked about a Smoker, what do we sound like? Well, here's the thing. I was so obsessed with barbara. It's a Keyword is smoker. Yeah, because it can't be inside. No this guy but you had a patio He was gonna put in his kitchen kitchen. You did not have a pad What I did was this I said I? Googled can you put certain smokers inside and at first it said yes You can and then I just went online and bought whatever one I wanted off Home Depot and then when I got it, it was green egg And he puts it in his bathroom when I bought a fan when I bought it off on into a smoker a stove

your oven my uncle I bought it up. You know what they call an indoor smoker? A stove. Your oven. My uncle. A fire. And I got the smoker and I go, I knew the model number, I go, can I use this model? And I already had it, I spent the money and all that. And the first entry was, do not use this model smoker inside. I got it though. So I contacted him.

You got it. I drove over that afternoon. Was he making your own turkey or what? I took it, I fucking did ribs. But I had a, I had brisket, I't you got it drove over that afternoon Took it I fucking did ribs I had brisket. I had ribs Okay, you still have it is it you still working? No, it's gone. It's gone now rusted out there. See, that's what I mean Like yes, well, they're not made that great. Yeah. Yeah, those ones are good for like a few years I had a New York indoor smoke and it was outdoors was outdoor

I had a cover and all that shit for it. But I used to throw awesome barbecues. But I don't do them anymore. You don't throw parties anymore? I stopped doing them because I went away for the summer and I would always do it in the summer. Now we go up to New Hampshire in the summer. We have like a tiny house up there. Hampton?

No, White Mountain. Wait, where do you live here? I live in Katona, up in the Katona Bedford area. I don't know where that is. It's up where, it's a couple hours away. Okay. No, it's not a couple, it's 40-50 minutes away. Oh, so you drive, so you drive up?

It's up. It's up. It's where Martha Stewart lives, Ryan Reynolds, I don't know if you heard of that. Did you watch Martha Stewart documentary? I did, it's great. Unbelievable. But here's the thing, I would throw these barbecues. I don't know if I can throw them now. I'm getting so, I don't know what it is, I'm getting so tired of fucking people.

Sure, of course. I'm getting so tired of people just being mean and dickish. And I used to be a dick and a meanie. But now it's like I just want real like good people around me sure I don't know what the fuck if I'm in menopause male menopause but like people who are just dicks I want to go you're a fucking dick go fuck yourself go be a dick you fucking pussy I don't know what it is people want to be like like they want to be you know like like cowtowed

to they want to be like you know that like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, No. This is, Santino, you're on the YKWD podcast. We're live. Welcome to the YKWD podcast. You're coming. We're coming to you live. We were talking about dicky comedians that I'm just sick of. Just dicks. Oh, can I name some? Can I name some? Yeah, absolutely go. All right. Welcome to the YKWD podcast. Absolutely go Bad friends You I thought you old

Old Santino Not we're ready for some names not fucking superstars Name one even the safety lately, like who's been pissing me off lately? Yakov Smirnov? You know who it is. It's on the, the one you just told your wife is a twat and she's like, I know you shouldn't hang out with him. Who is it? No, she doesn't, dude, you're definitely on the list without a doubt.

I'm on the list! No, he knows he can say that. Not you, pieces of shit. Come on, say one! Ah, he just went through a tunnel. He went through the only LA tunnel. He went through the tar pits. Hello?

Hey, can you hear me? Yeah, how's your podcast going? I heard it's a hit. You can smash it. All you have to do is once a week mention my podcast for a month and I would be okay. That's a good point. You will come out to LA, you can come on our show anytime you want. I'll plug the fuck out of you. You know how much I love you.

I love you too, but that's not what I said. I just want you to mention my podcast once an episode for a month right at the beginning. All right. Just, hey guys. Do a pre-recorded ad for me for your stupid fucking show and I'll put it on our show. For Audible. Take him up on that, that's actually.

For Audible. Buddy, if you don't think I'm not, if you don't think I'm not doing that, you're on your fucking mind. That was a percent through that. You should do it, but I want you to do it that little dumb YKWD thing. I want you to do it like that.

I'm gonna do it like this. Hello, YKWDwd best podcast in the whole world I love you. What are you moving to New York? You fucking ass. So when are you getting out of that fucking shithole? Well, I'll see you in a month. Call me when you're off the pot. I want to I want to complain to you I got some stuff for you, too. Yes, I'll call you on the way home, bye. Alright, goodbye. Hey, what's going on everybody? Whiskey ginger fans, take a quick break, because Santino said to me on the phone, hey dude,

make a video and I'll plug it on my podcast, so I'm taking him up on it. That's right, I'm calling his Hollywood bluff. When he said to do something, I'm gonna actually do it. So check out my podcast, you know what dude? Right here in the link, or you just go to my YouTube page. You can go to anything on Spotify or the Apple app, whatever you can find podcasts. Go check out my podcast, you know what dude?

Anywhere, and click on it, subscribe to it. And now back to that ginger who probably wouldn't even put this on was lying to me we'll see thanks Santino or whatever your last name is just the record he did not give one not a single name fuck no he's fucking famous he'd survive it. Buddy, all of us will survive it. We will survive it. What's Esty gonna get mad at us? Fucking asshole. We have nothing going on.

I'm gonna say Brian Scott McFadden. That's the one giant piece of shit. That's the opposite of the guy's fucking sweetheart. Well, here's the thing is that I find out that people are, I don't know what it is, it's like people say, it's like, I don't wanna fucking go tell people to go fuck themselves, we talked about earlier, it's like, god damn it, whatever.

So here's the thing, I feel like John Wick before his dog got killed, you know what I mean? You're so comforting, I mean, god damn it. That's fantastic. I would love to put her on a bus in the morning. Two buses at night. Who's your boyfriend? I don't have one. Nice. Listen, John Wick before the dog died. I want this analogy before you hit Alex. Well, I feel like, you know, when John Wick had the dog but the wife died, I feel like I'm at that point, but just no one's ever gonna kill my dog. Right?

You're never gonna snap to the point of digging up guns. You remember when they fucked him at the gas station? He's like, fuck yeah. He's like, I won't, he doesn't care enough. But they never came to the house and fucking killed my dog. The dog's still around. So you're living in John Wick purgatory? So I'm still fucking making tea

That's what I am The same boat I think we've got to kill your comedy Danny had to go Danny. Where are you going? You fuck are you kidding me? Oh, isn't this like your full-time job? Where's your spot? I Hope you bomb I hope you bomb have fun Danny have so much fun Danny. Thank you so much for the World Was voted on by the people by Danny So we have to kill your dog. Well, you know, does that make sense? It makes total sense. So I'm just walking around.

It's limbo. You are depressed but not livid. It's purgatory. Not purgatory. I just feel like hatred and fucking anger and frustration is a place. Yeah. And you know, so you try, so here's the thing. You have the kid.

Yeah. You have all this love. You try so hard to get there, now I'm right there, and he's like, yeah, dude, I wanna go hang out with my friends. My wife is like, I gotta go do something. So I'm just alone, making it possible for them to go here with his friends,

go to the coffee shop with her friends, blah, blah, blah, and I'm just alone. So I get no ding ding touched, right? I worked out, I get all my shit done, I do all this stuff, but I just come home, go to bed, wake up, go there, here's the check, love you, okay, go back. When I could, if I wanted to,

find some Puerto Rican girl up who has a fucking brother with a pit bull, danger living again. You can come up, Papi, you can come up and eat my coochie, but my brother, if he wakes up, he's going to Maldives. Husband's in jail. Be like, yeah. Husband's always in jail.

Husband's always in jail. Yeah, my husband's in the chingling. Husband's always in jail. He's in the chingling, the riot goes, he might come home any day. You want a little danger in your life. You want a little danger in your life. Well I just, you know, I just, I don't know.

Here's the problem. When you are weak, anger will defend you, right? But if you don't have anger, and you try to open your heart up, you are vulnerable. And when you're vulnerable, people will take advantage. A thousand percent. And they like it. And if you fight certain kinds of people, and you can't go.

And most of the people that we hang out with will take advantage. All comedians. Every comedian. And you can't do the thing where you go, that guy just took advantage! Because then you look like the fucking schmuck. But here's the thing. You always gotta bring it back onto your, all right, what do I gotta do now?

I gotta figure something out. It's always you. Well, that's the healthy thing. It always comes back. It always comes back to you. What do I say? Do you know what I think you should do? I think you should start having your parties again over the summer.

And invite us, you too. No, but invite people that... One train. If I don't have to take two buses, then the dick ain't worth it. One long train? One long train. So you're saying the parties will make them get more... But parties, but a selective guest list.

Because you're... I'll be 20 years in, in 2026. I'm 20 then, 20 years. You're what? No. You're not 30 yet. Maybe 30, not 30 yet. Not 30 yet.

Almost, yeah. So it's like, he might probably won't have the parties and be okay with not having the parties but still have the same exact outlook on the whole situation. It's almost like you're like, oh fuck, you have the experience, but you're like, oh it's a fruitless effort with a lot of... Oh, meaning like the party was always ever going to be the party from this time. The party can never be anything but the party?

It's like buddies. I think the party should come again with close, close, close, close buddies. I think party again, but with your smallest group, with five people instead of 20. Yeah, with the guys that you can just, you know. I think you're wrong. I think it's time to blow out.

I think it's just time to go to parties now. Okay, oh, you don't wanna host? No, I think it's just time to go to parties. Go Oh, okay. Oh, you don't want to host? No, I think it's just time to go to parties. Go to parties. Yeah. Well, yes. That's it. You're not going to parties?

No, I do. I go to parties. Back in the day, and you've been here a few years, and I know Chicago probably had the same thing, do you think because of how the business has changed, the social aspect has changed as well? Because back in the day, I don't know if you remember, I don't know if you came... When I first started, there was like Cabin Bar, and people know about Cabin Bar now.

I remember Cabin Bar. I actually went there. I actually, I was. Went back to Chicago then? Yes, it was, no, no, when I was living in Chicago, I went to Cabin. Right, that's what I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And I think because of the way it's set up now, is it, I don't, part of me is like, am I out of the loop because I'm so far into it? Or is there nothing like that anymore? No, there is. I mean, Danny's going right now. Joe and the Young Bucks, you're not a Young Buck anymore. That's what it is.

And we go home after our spots. Yeah, you're not going to like the open mic anymore and being like, oh, I'm going to get fucking hammered and stay here till 2 AM. This fucking beef jerky douchebag is going to do a spot right now in front of five people. 11th. And he's going to be mediocre and think it was great. How was it?

Awesome, was it? Was it? Was it? Was it? So good. Guest spot. Yeah, but I mean, yeah. Check spot.

I mean, how many spots we used to do. It's just, we're at that stage where it's like, all right, we're doing it. We're in it. And it can, you know, I don't know. You gotta, you gotta, I don't know, You gotta, you gotta, I don't know, you gotta look around and be like, all right, this is great, this is awesome,

but it's been one of those weeks for me where I've run into a couple people that just irk you. Yeah, where it's like, ah, fuck man, I put my guns away. And you know I put my guns away. Or maybe you didn't, maybe you thought my guns were still out, and that's why they And they're but they still have a busting ball thing

It's just like a binge pat like being a shitty is a shitty vibe It's so funny Jay. I was talking Jay about this and he was like fuck it. Just go fucking assassinate people He really is like, you know the exact opposite with my therapist would be like, it's good. You're being vulnerable. You're vulnerable. It hurts. You and Gary did the same impression. Jay's like, fucking just fuck them. Fuck them all. Murder them all. Inviscerate them. And I'm like, that makes me happy. Fuck you. Suck my dick. I don't care the outcome. And do you think it's in the moment? What is let me explain to me because I agree I've had that and I've been like fuck this this sucks Yeah, what is the vibe they're giving off that you're like I put my guns away. Why aren't you recognize? No, it's like here's the thing

it's it's um Well, it's just encounters. It's not really malicious either. Some of them aren't. It's just that because this one did this, then that one did that, then this happened. Now this one had did this. So it's like a buildup. Chain of events. Chain of events that have happened where it's like all this stuff is like, where you have to go fuck it.

What, all right, what am I, what's that? All right, that's great, that's great, that's great. Fucking everything else can die on a vine. Yeah. And I'm all right. It's great. Everything else can go the fuck away. Yeah, and I'm alright. Yeah, it's great Everything else can go the fuck away. Yeah, and I got that that that and that and I'm I'm perfect Yeah, so it's like, you know, the the thing is is not snobby snobs snobby fucking people and narcissists are

I hate you. They're the worst because they're sneaky because they come in. Well, they're manipulative. They're manipulative and they come in and they fuck with you and they trigger you and then they back away. Yeah. And they know exactly the rules of engagement to poke, to get just fucking get under your skin and then retreat. And then when you make the move, they go look at what they did.

Yep. And that, and then,. And I'm I'm a gorilla. He's throwing chair desks at people. Cartoon dog. But it is all it's like the triggering part is the heart not letting people trigger you sticks because I used to just get tricked. Boston bag. I want to I wanted to punch her right there Right up the spine I almost remember the kids name. I was like, oh my god, and she said it was a perfect

You're lucky you're cute. That fucking cute Jewish nose snapped me right out of it. Fucking Snoopy. Listen. Listen, we gotta go to Patreon right now. We're gonna go there real quick when I'm gonna take a break, but you guys thank you so much for watching the episode. Boys, what do you got? Not in the microphone stupid Still not hey, it's Joe Check out my cheese show on YouTube and check out this cool trailer wasn't that cool

Oh, so you're putting trailers into my special. I was gonna ask you. Yeah. Well, I mean I mean, what the fucking... What a band of brothers you have there. When were you gonna ask? Truly. I hope you like that special. Hope you like my special right now that's on the other channel. Click on that link. Because his special was one second and mine is right now. Zach, what do you got?

If you could follow me on Instagram at Zachary Unlimited, that'd be really cool. Follow Danny too, since he's not here. No, no, no. Shut up. Danny, Danny, Danny. Danny doesn't get it. What do you have? What do I follow me?

Yeah, what do you have to plug? Oh, oh, I got, oh, I'm coming. I'm doing, um. Taking three buses tomorrow. Taking three buses. Taking three buses. This is a big jerk. I got Cleveland, I got Philly, I got Nashville coming up.

You're on Punch Up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on Punch Up. You really did come into your own. You look at one of the Ramones in that photo. Holy shit face. You look amazing, man, my hair looks incredible. I didn't know Howard Stern looked like that. Oh, wow.

Robin, Robin. What? No, I'm just trying to pile on. You look amazing. That's a great photo. Bring that photo back up. No, stop it. When you look like this, you can say whatever you want.

Yeah, we can say whatever we want. Bring that back up. Bring it. Let's bring it back up. Bring the photo back up. Come on, 2020, 2024. I love you, girl. Wow. Jesus, God damn Christ. I love a mock neck and a gold chain.

That's a great picture. Thanks and fuck you. No, I'm not kidding. You look like an original cast member of SNL. Yes, Ann. Hotter Lorraine Newman. Wow. Keep it up. No, no, no, no. It's all a joke. Rosanna, Dana, Patan. All right, go to PunchUp.live.

What's your punch up? Alex Cuman. Alex Cuman. K-U-M-I-N. Like the spice, but with a K. You really did flower, sweetie. I love the jumpsuit, too. Thank you so much for coming on.

Make sure you check out the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It's on the show. It-N. Like the spice but with a K. You really, you really did flower, sweetie. I love the jumpsuit, too.

Thank you so much for coming on. Make sure to check her out. She's on the road right now, but she's also at the cellar. Check the cellar website when she's around. Come and see her live. And what do you have, my friend? I have a podcast myself. Besides beef jerky and YouTube, I'm gonna throw up.

I've had one in my tube, but you're picking it. Now I can film mine again. I just grabbed a side of beef out of my tube. Oh my God. This is how old I, I don't even think twice about doing that just now. That was. I'm being embarrassed.

It was perfect. But yeah, it was gross. It was a surprise. I have a podcast with a very funny comedian, Dan St. Germain, which I actually, I truly mean this, I'm not just saying this, because I had a quick story. I had Joe Coy did my radio show once, you know Joe Coy? You know Joe Coy?

No. You mean the guy with the teeth. Yeah, I guess he has teeth. But he's like, he's like been around. No, Joe Coy, Joe Coy. he's a really nice guy. Is he did the Is he now you bring it down? So we have a whole episode yeah, and at the end of the episode I go hey just another the end up Maybe that's one of those guys who?

Just came on a show at time fucking dead expected me to be I was just like happy to see him I'm happy to see ya. I'm this here's my rule. Don't fuck with me. I don't fuck with you, right? Oh, he's amazing blazing, but he came in like there with the fact I thought yeah do and that's not what I do Los Angeles. That's not what I do Patrice. He's dead. Get over it. Well, here's the thing.

Yeah. Had him on the... I used to have a serious show. You've done it. And then fucking... I know. He was on it. And I mentioned, just as like a side, I go, hey, the first weekend I ever hosted at a club was for you at comics in New York back in the day.

And he goes, wow, okay. Well, Sean, I'm doing Radio City Musical in six months and I'd like you to open for me at Radio City Musical. I went, oh no, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that I'm bringing up a story from back in the day. Yeah, messaged him on Instagram. It goes immediately.

So when I say I'd love for you guys to do the podcast, please do the podcast. It's me and Dan St. Germain. It's called Burbs Bros. Now it's turned into a paranormal UFO podcast. I'm in. Really? I'm in.

Are you a paranormal guy? I'm going to tell you right now. I have a UFO and a paranormal thing. I want to hear them. Do it. Six months. Fantastic. I'll do it in six months. Six months?

Call me. He's doing radio city. It's called Burbs Bros. It's on YouTube in six months. Six months? Call me. He's doing Radio City. It's called Byrd's Bros. Where is it? Where is it? It's on YouTube. No, where do you film it? We tape it around the corner from the stand.

Dude, I'll 100% do it. Do it this week if you want. And please. And also. I settled down. You. I will do it, but not this week. Do it.

Do it. God, thanks. Do it next week. He's got emotions to work through. What day? Whatever day you want. I will definitely do it. I will definitely do it. I will definitely do it, but not this week. Do it next week. He's got emotions to work through. What day? Whatever day you want. I will definitely do it. Wait, what is your paranormal shit?

I'm saving it for the show, Missy. Give us a teaser. Stop talking to me like that. So we've turned into like- I'm about to fucking dump my wife and have you take a train. Two buses. Yeah. So, Burbs Bros is the name of it.

I'll give you a house and a Lexus. Do you like that? Okay, let's go. It'll be second hand, but you're still big. You know what I'm saying? We do a podcast. It's a me and you. Okay.

Girlfriend, boyfriend. Girlfriend, boyfriend? Not husband, wife. No, girlfriend, boyfriend. And then you, we tour together. Done. Yeah, but you have to open. Like Dan Lamortz and Natalie Pomona.

I'm talking about after the show. Now imagine, don't. We would last. Done. Yeah, but you have to open. Like Dan Lamortz and Natalie Pomona after the show. Now imagine, imagine, we would last five minutes. You would tell me to go fuck myself a week and a half in. Go fuck yourself. Exactly. Exactly, but that's why it would work.

Do you know what I mean? Oh my God. That's why it would work. So anyway, I have a podcast called Burbs Bros. I give a shit about your fake relationship. Fake? I Wish it about your fake relationship No, I mean, I'm not getting please both you do the podcast it's really fun We talked about UFOs and everything and fuck Joe Coy for doing that. It's fucked up, right? Yeah No, it's not fun. It's exactly what they fucking do

You didn't want it didn't want a give you hope, and then they fuck you. And you're just a nice guy. Here's the thing, go fuck yourselves. I'm done, I'm fucking done. You got me back. Fucking asshole. Who the fuck says that? And then all you have to do is go,

hey bro, I got it, I can't do it. I got you, I can't, I can't. it, I got you, I can't, I can't. I got somebody else coming, but thank you, I apologize. That's all it would take. Especially when I'm not the motherfucker that brought it up. Yeah. Well, don't get me wrong, I knew that was the case, but it's still like, why do it?

Why do it? It comes down to integrity. It comes down to. Which is something that a lot of people don't know. No, I don't know any New Yorker that would have fucking done that. All right, speaking of integrity, PunchUp.live slash Robert live slash Robert Kelly go to my you guys get me on punch up Look, are you not I'm out of the loop here?

Live you gotta get on it's great punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly. I'm in Denver. I'm all over the place I'm at Mohegan Sun. I'm everywhere Please make sure you go there and check it out and go to youtube.com Mohican Son, I'm everywhere. Please make sure you go there and check it out. Go to youtube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy for my special. And then Sean, where is your website here? So we can go to that. SeanDonnellyComedy.com

SeanDonnellyComedy.com, you're on Punch Up. Check these people out. Thank you for listening. We are going to Patreon right now with your questions. If you want to ask my guest questions, you have to remember the Patreon. Because that's the only way you get to ask the questions. So make sure you go to patreon.com, that's Robert Kelly, and join up. It's only five bucks a month. You'll never know I'm sucking that out of your bank account every month. Sucking it.

Just do it. The bottle of water. And make sure you sh- what are you doing to my wife? I'm turning them on. Oh, don't do that. You don't want them on? No, I don't want them on. Okay, sorry.

But I do like that you tried. I wanted to try. I like you so much. Okay. All right, so check it out, make sure you go there, and we'll see you over at Patreon. Here we go.