Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #580 | I Mostly Blame Myself

Episode Date: March 30, 2025

This week on YKWD half the cast of I Mostly Blame Myself comes on to discuss Sketch comedy and Bobby's Improv background w/ Dane Cook. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD's back again. I started a social media podcast. The facts. The YKWD Podcast. YKWD's back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all.

YKWD. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, how am I, you're ruining this. Where's the bomb, Dan? I'm sorry, it's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does.

Is there any better show? This is the original. The original. What's up, everybody? It's Robert Kelly, and we're back at the Comedy Cellar studios above the world famous Comedy Cellar. We're doing another episode of YKWD. You know what dude, if you're on YouTube, do us a favor, hit the subscribe button.

Stop being an asshole. Hit the subscribe button and share and get in the comments. And also in the comments tell us who you want on the show. And also go to patreon.com, that's robertkellylive.com to get extra episodes, get this show before anybody else, all kinds of stuff and it helps me support autism. I support autism. I actually want people to be autistic because I need producers for these shows. Anyways, we got a very special show tonight because this is, look man, I have comics on all the time,

but then I have people on who aren't comics, but are funny, who might do comedy, they do something a little different, and I have a fondness for this because it's how I started in the business with a little guy named Dane Cook. Maybe you've heard of him. We don't talk anymore, but that's my fault, not his.

Danny, who do we got? You have the cast of I Mostly Blame Myself. Okay, now let's go through. I'm Allison. I'm Kelly. I'm Sean. I'm Nick. And you have half the cast of I Mostly Blame Myself. No, what happened to the other rest? They couldn't do it. They had a show. What happened?

We got some acting classes. We got a sister in town that needs to be taken care of. The draft. We have a baseball fan. They got drafted. Am I great war? No. Oh, Jesus Christ. You guys are all going. I'm not. Too old. He's trans. Sorry. How did you know? We know. That's bullshit. I see it. I don't recognize real. I don't like most of the cast of rent fucking with me. Listen to me. Listen. So who started this? Now tell me what it is. What are you guys? What? It's a skit comedy show with some improv right I don't know if you guys

know what was that bobblehead for it's mostly scripted we so everything even this this I saw the one where you the song with a rhyme the rhyme we have to rhyme what's that called the rhyme town that's not improv no that was all scripted god damn it I thought it was improv if it was if that would have been extremely impressive yeah yeah that would have been extremely impressive. Yeah. Yeah, that would have been. That's why I'm not that impressed with the script. No, anybody could write it, but someone just say it on the spot. That's very amazing. So who came up with this?

I feel like you have you have leader vibe. Thank you. Is that am I right? Am I right? Is he like the, the, the something? He called us all together. Are you, are you one of the leaders? Um, not in this position. I want to say it's definitely not BDE. I'm going to clarify on that, but yes, Nick is the leader.

Now who started it? You started this. I, uh, I filmed a pilot in LA, put it on YouTube, pandemic hit, moved to New York and just got tipped off by some friends like, hey, really funny pilot, you should bring it to theaters. Nobody has any acts because during COVID now they're coming out of it. They want some new shit on stage. So, so when did you put it? Went on backstage.com and found most of these beautiful people.

You say back page or backstage? Backstage. Oh, because that's two different things. You say back page or backstage? Backstage. Oh, cause that's two different things. What's back page? Back page. I'll tell you later. Exactly, he knows. Back page is where you used to get girls and guys

and all kinds of weird shit. If I knew that I would have cast from there. No, they canceled it. It's gone. Yeah, back page is gone. We went on backstage, submitted the show idea to a bunch of theaters, just sent him kind of this little silly YouTube video we made. Got a couple responses, then ended up doing a 55 person black box theater performance at the Players Theater right next door above

Cafe Wall. So we got like eight of us together. Some I met in college, some I met out when I lived in LA. Kelly is the wife of a friend I met in LA. She ended up joining as well. We put on a show. Is your husband still in LA? No, no, no, he's here and he's here as well. He's doing the draft tonight. Oh, he's in the draft. Yes, the sports. Okay, great. He got drafted. What this draft thing is freaking me out. It's a bait. What? It's like baseball fantasy. Yeah I don't really know. It's fantasy sports. Yeah. Fantasy baseball is too long of a season. It's a hundred and sixty two games. Like at the most I could do is football. Here's the part that bothers me about it.

It's fantasy. When baseball just started. I mean, it's right here, right? The actual season. But backpage.com sounds like fantasy too. I was gonna say backdoor.com, and I was like, that wasn't it. That's something else.

They had that. They had that. Backpage was where you got, you know, people. Yes. Things you could back in the day. I don't know, you guys are too young. They don't have any of the fun stuff in New York anymore. They used to have the village voice

where you could go and just, before phones, you know what I'm saying? You guys can take your phone now and just go meet somebody. You know what they look like. You know what their interests are. You hope they don't kill you, you know, but pretty much it's, you know, verified people. Back in the day, you know what their interests are, you hope they don't kill you. But pretty much it's verified people. Back in the day, you had to roll the dice.

Back in the 90s, my God, you had to get the village voice. Hope for the best. Yeah, hope for the best. Wasn't that kind of part of the fun? Let me tell you something, way fun. So fun. I was talking to somebody about this Because we've when you evolve right when as humanity we evolve into you know being better

I'm watching 1923 you know the show and it's so fucking depressing Because it everything I mean this woman is just trying to go see her husband in Montana, but every second of her trip she's getting mugged. And then she's on the train, she lost all her money, but she's on the train but she doesn't have food. Then the guy gives her a job on the, she has to work, she's from a really rich family, but now she's working as a waitress on the train, but then this couple says, here's some money, and then all of a sudden, this other piece of shit fucking guy, just guy sucked back in the, back in the day, we were just fucking garbage. He just starts sexually fondling her on the train, and it's like, I can't, this is so,

and then she beats the shit out of him. They arrest her, and it's like, I can't, it's too much. I need happiness. So back in the day, we were pieces of shit. This was on backdoor.com. This is all in my brain, I made this up. This is my fantasy that I had a girl do. This is a skit I was pitching to you.

It's in, it's in. It's called Back in the Day. It's called Real Men. But no, we were pieces of shit. Now we evolved, but you guys don't get that. We had my generation, we had fun. We had some weird shit. I mean, I don't know, you guys can't do anything weird anymore, can you? I mean, I feel like we've done some weird shit,

but I guess you just have the risk of it being on the internet. That's, that's a whole level of fear. But at the same time, I did a play and I had sex with everybody in the play. Okay. So we still do that on stage. No, that was the play. It was like anybody in the play Oh, in the play backstage. No, it was written by John Cusack. Oh, that's why. No, no, no. Oh, that's why I'm sure. No, no. Fuck is wrong with you, dude. He's the leader. Now you see.

If John Cusack could write this, I'm doing it too. We're having a blast. And he's just like, really? Is that real? Mind blown. Anyways, I mean, I don't know, though. I mean, you guys are theater people. We're still freaky and weird, right?

Oh, yeah. That's how it be. Yeah. Yeah, you look like you. Ocean's definitely weird. Theater people are the best, you know? I tell you what, I started comedy in an improv sketch group and we used to, the problem was is we would write sketches

and it was just fucking hacky racist sketches that we were back in Boston. I think our first sketch that killed, because we were doing comedy clubs, so we had to compete with standups. So our shit had to be like, we had to be bing, bing, bing, had to be a lot of laughs every 30 seconds. Or they would move.

Small stage too, right? Small stage, no mics most of the time. And I think one of the sketches, the first one, and this is so hack, now it's hack. But back then, I guess it was hack too, but not as hack. It was, I don't remember the Reese's commercial where you got your chocolate and my peanut butter. You got my peanut butter and my chocolate.

We did that with two Asian guys with the guys off stage on the mics. So we would just walk and they'd be like, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, right? And then we'd bump into them, hey! And they would do the voice, but we'd be like, dun-ga-dun-ga-dun-ga-dun-ga-dun. Right? And then we'd bump it in a bit, hoi! And they would do the voice, but we'd just go,

bap-bap-bap-bap. So here, you do the, just move your mouth. Say it to her, hoi! You got my, your peanut butter in my chocolate! You look back to him, look back to him. Just try. No, Sean'll do it. Sean'll do it.

You got your chocolate in my peanut butter! Ooh, now we fight! And then whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Now. And then. I mean, it still works. If you want it, you can have it. Family guy. Nick's running with that one. Family guy did the best peanut butter in my chocolate. Like, what is that? Joke, where they did the, I think the cop, there's like a car crash where someone's eating

peanut butter and someone's eating chocolate and the cars collide front ways and they fall into each other and they're bloody and dying and the cop shows up and he's like about to call it in. He's like, oh my God, oh my God. And he sees that one person's chocolate is in the other's peanut butter and he takes the chocolate and he eats it,

blows up both cars, runs away and takes the idea. So that's what I think of whenever I hear the Did you know that everybody hates Family Guy Simpsons or the other and all the South Park all the other cartoon shows Animations they fucking hate They hate that guy. They think he's hacky. He's worth like 300 million dollars. I know, but they all like behind the scenes don't like him because they think he fights easy shit. Interesting.

Isn't it weird? The fucking hatred? Is that a spike bracelet? Yeah, and the faux leather, the fake leather peeled off from all the battle. That's crazy. I'm scared. What I always liked about the... Danny just chimes in once in a while. Oh, I was like, what? I give him that because his autism will punch a wall

and hit his ears. So if he doesn't get to talk, I don't want him to hit his ears. So Seth Mc... They would always ask Seth McFarlane what they think about the South Park people on TV interviews. And they'd go, oh, he's great.

We love him. We think they're great. They're amazing. South Park's amazing. And then they would ask the South Park people what they thought about Seth McFarlane and go, he stinks, he's a hack. Yeah, I didn't know that. The hate. Isn't that weird?

That's funny, because I find like, Family Guy a huge inspiration along with South Park. Like I wouldn't differentiate between the two, I think they both do what they do super well. And a lot of crossover comedically. I think actually Family Guy, like even like the stipulation of the cutaway joke is like that's this family guy kind of recipe And I think it's a little bit even more impressive, you know, like I'm more of a Simpsons or South Park, you know enjoyer

Sam the guy stands on his own because of those cutaway jokes and those jokes are so funny in my opinion They're fucking great. Yeah, I'm too dumb to know the difference between any of it if it makes me laughing like that's cool Family guy were the ones who did the first, it was like Hasidic Jews in the Wild joke, where it was outside of an Italian restaurant, and they're like, outside of an Italian restaurant, a flock of Jews flies in to argue, and all these Hasidic Jews fall in from the sky,

and then they just start arguing, and they fly, and it's like, a group of so-and-so scares away the Jews, and they fly away. And we have a very similar sketch about Hasidic Jews being caught in the wild, but it's just like that's where family guy in real life They just stay and take over the town And then everybody moves Cuz the school buses are so loud I really it looks like they keep the kids behind bars like if you're walking Williamsburg all of the windows are barred and then the front of all the apartment complexes are barred and they keep the kids behind bars. Like if you're walking through South Williamsburg, all of the windows are barred, and then the front of all the apartment complexes are barred,

and you see the kids in their little full suits, like playing with an inflatable ball, but they can't go past these bars. You know that, this is a fun fact, that their marriages aren't legal, right? We don't consider them legal because of the way they do it. So they get welfare. Women get welfare.

So we pay for the Hasidic Jews. Your tax dollars pay their welfare. They get welfare because they're not married. They're married in their world. It's under God. God sees the marriage. Under their God. It's reparations.

Isn't it weird? They get money from the government so you're paying for them. You can actually walk in their houses. If you want, you should try this. I'm serious, try this next time. Walk in. You can just, and they let you in.

They have to let you in. I'll just fly in. I'll take some money. You can't do that. You can't do that. Yeah, I'm so good on that. You two are too white. You can't walk in.

The men won't even talk to you guys. No, they won't. Yeah, I'm so good on that. You two are too white. You can't walk in. Yeah, no, no, no. Nice to meet you. The men won't even talk to you guys. No, they won't. I got shown an apartment by a Hasidic Jew and thank God there was another guy who was touring it as well or else I don't think there would have been one where it was so good. Why they don't talk to women? They can't talk to women. Yeah, I think they can. They can talk through a sheet, I think.

What? I thought that's a KKK. That's a KKK. No, you've never heard that? That super Hasidic religious people only have sex through a sheet. Oh, they have sex through the sheet. I think that's a KKK. I think that's a KKK. I think that's a KKK. I think that's a KKK. I think that's a KKK. I thought that's a KKK. That's the KKK. No, you never heard that? That super acidic religious people. Oh, they have sex through the sheet. Yeah. I got the joke. You didn't have to play it.

So, you know what? He's a leader. I mean, he is real. He is just controlling. So that's yeah, that's weird. Now, where are you from originally? I'm from North Carolina. Shit. When you're from where? I'm from North Carolina. Shit, where are you from? I'm from Palmdale, California. Palmdale?

A little shout out. Shout out, I don't know if I have a fan's there, but maybe I'll have them now. It's just the desert. It's the desert, right? What's out there? Tumbleweeds. That's it, wow.

You know, there's a community out there, but it's desolate, it's pretty desolate. It's LA County, it's just nobody's really going there. Is that up or down? Southern. So like hour 15 northeast of LA. Southern California though. But it's a north of LA. Yes, sorry, northeast. Okay, okay, okay. And where are you from, dude?

New York, New York. Really? Uptown? Born in Brooklyn. I was raised on Long Island, but I've been acting professionally since I was four. So that's a lot of back and forth through the city. I kind of consider myself like a borough boy. A borough boy? Yeah, because all the but I've been acting professionally since I was four, so that's a lot of back and forth through the city. I kind of consider myself like a borough boy. A borough boy?

Yeah, because all the work I've been doing around. That sounds hot. I know. Is that where you are on back page? Is that your name? Borough boy? Borough boy, it's a subway away. I come to all five boroughs.

Four boroughs, sorry. And you're from where again? New Jersey. New Jersey, right? So you guys are doing this sketch thing, which, you know, like I love doing it. We used to meet like five days a week. Do you guys have to rehearse all the time?

Are you guys making a living, or is this a thing where you could, a launch pad for your acting and getting into something else? Is that, what is this doing? Defer to Nick. Yeah, what's going on, Nick? What are we doing here?

Yeah, Nick, how much money you got, Nick? What are we doing here? Yeah, Nick, how much money you got and how much you're not giving the girls and the fucking cutie Puerto Rican kids? And the burro boy? We got to do that? If that's not his name from now on, I don't know. If you know a skit called The Burro Boy where he just goes to the boroughs and he solves crime through song.

I like the Burro Boys being like a little barbershop quartet, the Burro Boys. That could be cool. I would say it's kind of in between. I would say we all still, most of us have like part-time jobs and stuff to supplement, but as we're growing, it's becoming more and more of a main gig for us. Yeah, is like television getting involved or anything? Because here's the thing, back in the day,

when I was coming up, I'm all in fucking dirt. It really sucks looking at your hopeful energy. Except for you, you're a little miserable. I know that. But that's a- It's the corporate. That's a compliment. I think it's great.

Oh, thank you. I love it. Thank you so much. She's got a little edge on her. That's fine. I'm the one who, that's fine. I'm cool with it. Yeah, she's good.

You guys are too happy. She's tough. But I'm too happy too. I'm happy, but- Are you happy? She's tough. Bemty's happy too. I'm happy but. Are you happy? No. Jesus. I will also set people straight.

Yeah. I like that. I like that. Somebody has to do it. Yeah. There's four more people on top of all of this. Who are also insane. Somebody has to set people straight.

Is that what you, are you the enforcer? I would say yeah. Are you Queen Latifah in the equalizer? Yes, exactly. Yeah. You can run for a couple of minutes, then you stop. Absolutely. A couple of minutes is my max.

You've seen Queen Latifah, she runs in tight jeans for like a minute and then he got away. Well, all right. I would too. I got to tell you. I would too. I would be the father to chase anybody. I'd shoot you.

So there's four more people now, what's the hierarchy of this thing? Is it like you and somebody else? Or is it you, like how does it go? Because when we did it, we were four, it was me, Dane, Aldo, Benny, and this other kid Jay. And it was, we were all equal. Like everybody said, you know, we all had a voice, but can you do that with eight people?

I don't let anybody else speak. All right, okay. Now you know why I'm miserable. No, it's, we're all voting on the sketches that are getting in. We meet every Wednesday. Wednesday's rehearsal every week for the last three years. We all pitch sketches, everyone brings their best sketches.

We all vote on what gets into the next show. And we're all just trying to plan. I would say my position is more so the organizer and the arranger of everything going on. I am writing a lot of the sketches, but it is always gonna be a communal, like what are we doing, where are we performing, what are we performing, who's doing what.

Right, and what is the objective of this? Are you guys gonna put this on TV at some point? Is that your goal? Or Broadway or something? Would love to do Broadway. Big goal would be to get a special on some sort of streaming platform is a big goal of ours. I think none of us started this thinking

we would become like social media creators. That was like not on our mind. We're like, we're gonna do theater. It's gonna start small and get bigger and bigger towards Broadway. I got tipped off by another comedian to start posting all of our clips online, never wanted to do that, never wanted to put the effort in.

Started doing that, all of our shit started taking off, and now we're kind of focusing on the social media aspect because it brings in the most money and it gets us the most traction. Isn't it weird that you can just put a video up and all of a sudden you're, it's like you can sell out a place and people know and the industry looks at this now. They'll look at you, I've had guys turn down for things

because their social media wasn't up to par. And I've had people given things who weren't ready who their social media was fucking ballistic. And then there's so many people that got shit from it that went on to superstardom. Now, are there, like, cause I was, I shouldn't ask you. I shouldn't, I should probably ask. I should probably ask.

Maybe I'll ask you. When you watch a show like this, and it's an ensemble cast, right? Who's the one? Like when you watch SNL, you're like, Balushi, right? Who's the, who's the one? Like when you watch SNL, you're like Belushi, right? Belushi's the one, or Rita Rutner, you know, there's always somebody who is like stand out. Is everybody in this standing out?

I think everybody- Lies! Lies! I think it's subjective. You're lying too, Tell me you read that. All right. I think everyone has strong suits. Yeah.

So we, and we've been doing this for almost three and a half years now. This will be year four. Nick, who's the one? But Kelly and Jackson are like powerhouse singers. Right, there you go. We've cleaned into music. There you go.

Like they bring a completely different element there. It's so nice in California. It's almost makes me want to throw up in my stomach. Really? Yes. Thanks. It's like we know what to play into. If we want a dark and twisty sketch, we'll go with Sean and Emma. If we want something that's a bigger personality,, like that will probably be a mirror Nick sketch Right. It's just depends on who and what to play. Right now

Has anybody gotten something in left where they got discovered and they were like fuck is and is there anything dude? Where one of the one of these people get the shit out of the ghost in here walked over like a ghoul Is there anybody like is there anything where? You know like I had a podcast network, and I just gave people podcasts And then they would blow up and just leave is there anything where you're like dude I own fucking five percent of your shit the weird thing is and I've heard this reality You guys can probably speak to this too like I've heard so many people be shocked that we've all been together for this long Like we've almost it's been almost four years You could almost say that's a sad thing.

Like no one's got discovered, so we're all fucking stuck together, still doing the same thing. You could look at it that way. But you could also say. Wow, I mean, way to promote the shit. But it's also could be a nice thing. You didn't let her do the promotion?

She's nice. She's like, fuck. But no, we have all been the core group. This was the group. Kelly was always like a guest star because she, Jackson, her husband, came into the group first. I met him in LA.

And then we were missing a few people, some shows. We were like, oh, Kelly could act. She came in and then ended up being a permanent member right away. Since then, we just haven't really changed that. We've all been kind of doing it together. So to answer your question, no, nobody's like tried to branch out,

but I don't know if anybody's. Yeah, other opportunities look less attractive the more we grow. So no agents have been like, or something like, I would imagine like TV would be like, you know, they're always looking for something and they're always looking for actors or actresses, you know, where it's like, all right, we need,

oh, I saw this thing and this girl or this kid or what do you know what I mean? That hasn't happened yet? Or have you had the the past there's been a few strikes what's that there's been a few strikes so what do you mean my business has been a little bit slow some people considered oh you getting out of here. I didn't mean to get political. I've been sag free a long time. Tell me about the strikes you've done. I do know. I was like, what strikes?

I will say. Strikes again? What? So out of the business. The YouTube strikes. I was like, did you go bowling? We've gotten those too. What a loser I am.

Yeah. Oh, so yeah, the strikes. I think that might have, as far as the frequency of what's being made and maybe this does the opportunities. It's so I'm telling you when I was the 2000s late 90s it was so fun and exciting to be in show business because you could as a stand up you could just go to Montreal. TV shows, who had seven minutes of material, and they just saw their, and then they'd give them like a half a mil just to make a TV show that would never make it to air or whatever. And I mean, look at Ray Romano, Seinfeld,

it was a time where you could be, go on The Tonight Show, and I mean, it was crazy. And then, never mind New York City, the acting was so crazy. Giuliani and Bloomberg put all the tax incentives. They were filming at one point more shows here than LA. And it was, I remember going to the trailer right over here and then a couple weeks later to be in a trailer,

just as an actor making money in New York City to pay the bills was awesome. It feels like it's dead. It feels like it's dead now. You don't cast the Ray Romano type anymore. I would be like starring in Friends at this point. You'd be Seinfeld and Ray Romano at once. That's what I'm saying, I just have like-

Mom! I've gotten Ray Romano, I've gotten Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. Yeah, I see that. It's too late, they're not looking for this. Nice Jewish boys anymore. You have a insane sitcom face. Thank you Yeah, you saw all you guys do you get all be on something I'd get cast in a sitcom and then I'd be hated like Ross Geller I was gonna say you said friends and I was like, I know people hate Ross

I think how I met your mom you look at most yeah, I get that how I met your mom face. Yes Yeah, you've met my mom. No, I've met your mom Randy. I. That's what you have. You said you've met my mom? No, I've met your mom. Randy. I wanna let you know something. She's a nice woman. I'm your father. What if that was a way to-

This is why we brought you here today. Yeah, they all knew. Listen, son. Shit. You're not feeling- How is my nose this much bigger than yours? You're Italian. That makes sense.

Sicilian. It's from your grandmother's side. Honestly, I don't think so. This is from my Irish side. I have a little pug nose. From the Donlins. You get to pick and choose. Yeah.

Well, yeah, that's fucking weird. Real quick, because our TV's off. Where can they go to watch these skits? What's the name of the page? The page on every channel's at I Mostly Blame Myself. I MostlyBlamemyself.com for tickets. Why I Mostly Blame? At MostlyBlamemyself.com.

You can go see this. You can get get the tickets and where does it play? It's at the Players Theatre pretty much every month or right here April 4th right next door above cafe wall Or I guess behind cafe, and that's just that's a 80 cedar right hundred sixty hundred sixty Oh, where is it down way downstairs? Oh, you're downstairs not upstairs. That's where you first did it. Yes, okay So you're downstairs 160 people and how many times a month? One time, two months? About once a month, if not every other month. Once a month. So if you got to go see it, go check them out. I want to go over. I'm going to see if I can get some tickets. Please. When are you playing again? April 4th. So. April 4th. Week and a half. I'm going

to see if we can have. What day is that? Friday. A Friday. If I'm off, I'm going to come, I'm going to bring my son down. I'll buy some. You got comp tickets. I'll bring. No, I'll pay. Fuck off. I won't pay for it. All right. Cool. You're not going to. How much are they? Forty. All right. You call me a couple. The thing is.

Forty two, actually, before fees. So maybe it's like forty six. After tariffs. And then my welfare Jewish tax. That's four. What the fuck, man? Just get me some tax. It hikes. It hikes real quick.

That's great. I'm really I'm going to try to make it. Danny, are you going? I'd love to come. I've seen the show multiple times. I love it. Danny's open for us. Mm hmm.

What do you mean? One of our best openers. We do a stand up opener every show. You do a stand up opener? Yeah. And he goes up and opens? Yeah. Really? The cum king? The cum king himself. That's what I call him, because most of his jokes have come in it. That's fair. Most of our jokes have come in it. A lot of our jokes have come. Crossover. Not most. All. I think a joke is really a joke unless there's a dash of comedy. Just a sprinkle.

Yeah, we have a drizzle. There's a recipe. Sprinkle, Jesus Christ. You know what's funny, that we've been performing next door for like three years. None of us, have you guys been, I've never been in this building. Or in Comedy, like downstairs, I've never seen anything.

You've never been to Comedy Cellar? I've never been to Comedy Cellar. Nick, live a little. Have you been? Yes. Have you ever seen to Comedy Cellar? I've never been to Comedy Cellar. Nick, live a little. Have you been? Yes. Have you ever seen me? No. Well, you don't have to say it with the same tone

than you did with the other one. Well, I'm still trying to just keep up my flavor. You know, now I have a reputation to uphold. It's the brand, it's Alcey Brand. Irish? Yes. Okay, thank you. Yeah, well, like I was telling you, we used to meet and write sketches, and they were silly. I'm trying to think, oh, we had one that was really fun.

Now, mind you, we had to play these in comedy clubs. So every night was different, every weekend. So what we would do is we'd do stand up, 10 minutes each of stand up, and then we'd do the rest hour of sketches and improv. And one of the sketches that I love that Dane did called Poison Dart Man. I'm already into it. So he had a hat, like a Zorro hat with tassels and a mask,

and he had a poison, like just a dart, like this. So we would just be sitting, yeah man, I'm telling you, we'd just be talking at a park, be like, yeah man, I'm telling you, my wife, she's such a, and he'd go, but he would be walking around the room, going through the audience, and then just stand on a table and be like,

and then we'd die, and he'd go, poison dart man. But he would do it. We would just break, and then we'd go do another skit. And then we'd do another skit. We'd be like, dude, you want some ice cream? Fuh! Ugh! And he'd be like, poison tarp.

That's a fun one. We'd do it like three or four times in the whole hour. That sounds like a character from, what was that really bad Ben Stiller mystery man? Mystery man. You remember the movie with all the really shitty superheroes? Funny, he was in that. Was he? Who'd he play?

Isn't that weird? That is funny. Waffle man. Waffle man. He played Waffle man. How funny was it that he was in that? If he did Poison Dark Man, I would've killed him. That would've been...

Poison Dark Man would've made that film a better film if that was in there. That film sucked. Jeannie and Graffle had a fucking angry bowling ball. Yes, yes, that's what I was trying to remember who the bowler was. What was that? It's terrible. What was the movie about? I could. I don't even hear the slot.

Now, OK, here's it. Here's a question for you. If you're going to write a movie, what is it? Hmm. Like as a group, like a IMBM movie or like you're all going to be in the movie. What is it going to be about? I would say something like a Monty Python ask or we could all play characters where we excel and just have them weirdly meet in all these places like on some journey so is this like SNL but without we have a jazz we basically say it's SNL but darker and with more musicals okay so this characters you have original character

we have a bunch of original characters okay what is your original character oh yeah I'll do mine I one, and I'll do it if you guys show me yours. Do the business woman. Do the business woman. That's so good. Okay. Do the opening meeting.

Wait, can you join in too? Can you guys both do it? We're the two that do it. So I'm waiting for her at first date, and she approaches and I go, oh hi, I'm glad to meet me. I know, I work hard and I fuck harder. My name is Diane Power Vag. I'm a business woman.

I like that. I don't know why that actually did something to me. Please sit. I'll sit when I wanna sit and I'll shit when I wanna shit. I'm done. I'm out. Because I'm a business woman. I'm out. You're shit, you're done. I see you shitting, I'm done. Really? That's where you drop one? Yeah, shit, I wanna shit. Because I'm a business woman. I'm out. You're shitting.

I'm done. Really? That's where you drop one? Yeah, shit, I do, sorry. Good to know. Shit is my thing. If my wife left a little skid mark, I leave her. That's the rule.

It's actually written. I made a poem. It's like a little gift. It's a little surprise. If you leave a skid mark, I go home. Anyways. All right, I like home. You, anyways. All right, I like that. That's cool.

All right, you go. Me? I don't know. I'm gonna do mine. I'm gonna do mine. You're yours first. Nope, I'm gonna do all yours first. What would be mine? I kind of want to hit a song, but it's kind of-

Oh, I like a song. I'm gonna do a song. Do you want to do God Has a Tiny Dick or- What? I'm sorry, excuse me. You got Irish Catholics down here. What God are you talking about? Your God? That's up for interpretation. That one is Tiny Dick? What? I'm sorry. Excuse me. You got Irish Catholics down here? What God are you talking about? Your God?

That's up for interpretation. That one is, yeah. There's Helen. God has a tiny... Helen's good. Helen's good. Helen? He can sing, dude.

Maybe a little bit of Helen. He just fucking sang. Yeah. I don't hold a candle to this one. Let's see. Helen's so damn lucky. Everyone knows her name. She was born a superstar, special in every way.

Wouldn't it be stellar, she's Helen, if I had Helen's life, but I'm just Mildred Keller. It keeps me up at night. She's Helen Keller's sister and she carries her lights. I got it, I was into it. You had me and you lost me when you went you're not getting it I got it just felt like a very long. No, I got you. I got Helen Keller face. Let's see it There it is classic

You know how much money that's made us how much that face how much six hundred dollars Wow, that's a lot What why how come you didn't sing in that one? I was waiting for you to come in. I'm not in any color. Why don't you sing? I do a Waluigi musical. Okay, go ahead. It's really, wait, do the Waluigi voice

and then go into the musical. Cause, oh, what's the Waluigi? I guess I have to sing now. I drove for miles and miles along this rainbow road. Wa, wa, ooh. I'm so alone that I would even sleep with Toad. Really? Cause Yoshi has Birdo and Mario has Peach.

No one needs me. Please believe me. It ain't easy Bein' Y Luigi And then we talk about Donkey Kong's huge dick. Yeah. I wish you got to that. Naturally. That was awesome. Hey, it's so funny.

Go ahead, what do you got? I was gonna say something, but go ahead. What do you got? You can go. No, I want you to go, cause it's my show. I understand. What'd you guys consider? What is Sean?

I got Scooby. You got Scooby Doo? Yeah. I have Scooby-Doo. Um Getting withdrawals because he ran out of Scooby snacks. Okay, so I've been there Roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-roo-ro Roll rock your Rick. Roll, roll, Rick the Raft. Oh my god. Roll, roll, ride all the rolls. Boing, boing. Can you please cut that and just make that the clip? He was like, give me characters and it was like, I shit Helen Keller, I'll suck your dick.

I'll suck your dick for drugs. Mine was PC one. Mine was PC. I want that. I want Scooby and then cut right to that. I want Scooby and then cut. Millard. I want that. I want Scooby and then cut right to that. Can somebody animate that for me? Yeah.

Wait, we wanna hear your character now. Are you ready? Yeah. I haven't done her in a long time. Are you ready? Yeah. We're ready. Now know that this character,

they never let her in one of the sketches. She never made it. I don't know why. Maybe you can tell me. But I pitch this all the time. Ready? And I would sneak her in once in a while. You ready?

And then she got the poison dart. No, ready? Here we go, ready? Ready? Here we go. Okay, Ready? Here we go. OK, hang on. I got to put my hat backwards. All right. Hang on. OK. All right. Ready?

OK, ready? Here we go. Ready? We're ready. Is this the bit? I haven't done her in years since 1992. She's still in there. You guys weren't even born. Were you born? Close.

He wanted us to say yes. We were not. You were not, right? No. You weren't born. You were still in a nut. Yes. Somewhere. Somewhere. Okay. My. You were not right? No, you weren't born. You were still in a nut. Yes somewhere one of them somewhere Okay, my

Is it ready here it goes. My name is chelsea sock water from chelsea, massachusetts I love the mullet fish. It's the cousin of the kafelta. It's a dirty fish It you got to catch it in a bucket It's a dirty mudfish you get it right next to the river in Charlestown or Chelsea. It's disgusting, but it makes my tummy feel well. That's not, that's not, I thought that was going to be crazy. That was great. What makes her tick? That was silly.

That will fucking tell Dane Cook, you should have put it in a skitch. That reminded me of Tiffany. So hot. So hot. So hot. So hot. It's like a very Bob's burger-esque. Yeah, well, I was before that, so it was more original.

You were original. What was the last name? Sockwater. Sockwater. That's right. Who was giving me somebody who could've been in like the sweaty balls. Sweaty balls.

Somebody with the mud water. It was before Family Guy, it was before all of them. And I think maybe they took some of my character and put it in their shit. What was the sketch group called? Al and the Monkeys. I like that.

Yeah, well here it was, we did the first show at my college, Bunk Hill Community College, where it was a talent show. And we were like, we were in acting together, me and this kid Al, and we got this improv sketch group, because my friend was in these cheap socks, which was Tufts University's improv troupe. And they were like fucking good.

They were like, they would tour and do crazy shit, and they were amazing, really fun. So we stole everything from them. And we decided to enter this talent show at our community college, Bunker Hill Community College. And we wrote these, we wrote the, dunka dunka dunka dunka, we wrote that. And then, sorry, I'll get you guys canceled.

Wait, let's do it again, so my mouth will move now. You gotcha, okay. Ooh. So, we had an audition. So we had a little audition in the open pit and students walking by in daylight. And we did it and there was only two people there and they were like, okay, great, you're in. And then before they were leaving,

we all left and Al was behind and she's like, we need a name, what's your name? And some lady was like, the monkeys, you guys are like monkeys. And she's like, all right, the monkeys. And Al walked back and goes, make it Al and the monkeys. So we went to the show and like, all right, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Al and the monkeys.

And we were like, what the fuck? He's like, whatever, let's go. Respect. Where's Al now? He's in Australia, two kids and doing standup. That's great. Hey, not bad. Yeah, he had to move to another country to make it.

No, I'm kidding. Australia's not so bad. No, he's killing it. He's actually huge over there. There's a kid from my high school whose dad is in a rock band that nobody knows them in America, but they're huge in Germany Yeah, we're so I don't know the name

But like you would tell us like we're going on tour I was like, oh, are you going to like in Germany and they would just go there and crush it and then come back And you had like a day job, but I kind of dig that that would be cool If we were like one country we went to and like every single person big in Syria. I had a shirt that said I Had a shirt that said I'm huge in Japan but when I when I was downstairs one day I was fat really fat when I had it on and Norton said you're huge here so I threw the shirt out. I would too. It was one of my favorite shirts. We were just talking before this at drinks about like moments someone said something really mean you're like alright that that made me feel insecure Yeah, like I was telling them I had one where it was I was like 21

I was walking with my college girlfriend on the beach and we're having a great time and I'm like feeling myself and these like three Girls lower the windows and just yell you're out of his league and they all like cheer and laugh at me and drive away Like they said that to my girlfriend. You're out of his league. You're out of his. It's like she's more attractive. Oh I know that's it. Yeah. Why do you think? Sorry, I thought I'd drive it home. No.

It's the second time you've really dumbed it down for me. No, no, no. It was more of a dig at him. Is it? So she was Helen Keller. And. Did you get that? I got it.

I'm so sorry. What the fuck, man? But the thing between, the thing that I, because I did off Broadway in Boston, I did, I actually created standup for a couple years and did like acting and movies and I did theater and acting classes in Boston for a while. It's a different, it's a totally different culture.

So it's like I'm hanging out with Billy Burr, Patrice and Dane and all the comics at Nix in Boston. But then I would go to acting class and it was people like you were funny, but you can't, I can't walk in and go, Hey dude, nice fucking curls. What are those pubes? You know what I mean? Cause you'd be like, why would you say that about my hair? And she'd be like, that was mean. You nailed that. That was so mean.

But it's a little more. It's a cultural difference. I think actors, like comedy actors, and a little more set. Not that you're not funny and that you'll not do edgy shit, but you're a little more sensitive to each other's feelings than stand-ups. We're the worst. I think because probably stand-ups like. and that you'll not do edgy shit, but you're a little more sensitive to each other's feelings than stand-ups, we're the worst. I think, probably stand-ups like-

Danny's retarded. Oh my God. I love you Danny. You're gay. I think- See, I told you not to, I'm not out dude. This voice. That's fucked up, I'm not out.

That's crazy. I think an aspect of that comes from like, a lot of stand-ups, you know, they rely on their own life experiences, or they're self-deprecating, or they are the characters, and they are the product that they're giving to the audience. Whereas we as actors, we're empathizing with characters to be like the voice of the world, you know? So in ways, we are more in tune to be empathetic toward the human experiences and what people may feel hurt by.

Whereas stand-ups, they're just thinking about themselves. They have no empathy. Well, stand-up is... Typically speaking. I don't know if we can have empathy, because once you have empathy for something, you're going to cut off the funny, the weight of the funny. Like I have my son, and I'm writing jokes about him now hitting hitting puberty, I'm like, oh, maybe I shouldn't, because I don't wanna, you know what I mean?

But if I don't, I might miss a fucking insane 20 minutes of material about that might help other dads go through puberty with their kids, that he'll grow out and don't give a shit later in life. So it's like, you know, you really can't have that valve of, I can't, I have to go there. And I think part of the fun is like, I wanna go there. So how do I go there right?

How do I play on those lines in the right way that I'm playing with what I wanna play with, but also I'm not alienating, I'm not punching down, I'm not taking steps backwards, I'm not being lazy, you know with my you know Well, you also have your other you have her personality her personality You have so many different person that you're responsible for so you kind of can't you can't just do your thing it has to be a like a

Group and some people want to push it We always have a rule of like anybody could bow out of a certain joke bad and sketch Hey, seven of us think this is hilarious one person thinks it's too far. Hey, this isn't for me. I'm just not gonna be in it Right, so we're always having that constant discussion of I'm just gonna be in it and sit there and do this off stage Like I've written a sketch where um hold a free Palestine shirt up I've written a sketch where I'm sorry. No, no, it was just a joke. I'm sorry. Um Are you on that show? I'm sorry, no, no, I'm sorry. It was just a joke, I'm sorry. Why are you on that show?

What did he say? Hang on, that was, that was, I was... That was Chelsea, right? Chelsea came out a little bit? That was Chelsea. Is here where we bring up the... Chelsea Sockwater. Yeah, this could be a way to bring up our con.

Well, I'm thinking, I'm bringing up Race's Whispers. Oh, okay. Because, do you mind me sharing? Oh, not at all. Yeah, because, so Kelly enjoyed the sketch sketch and I believe she voted for the sketch, but she didn't feel comfortable reiterating the material or you know. What was it called? Racist Whispers.

Yeah, because she wants a career. Yeah, there you go. Well, some things you think, this goes online forever and certain words out of my mouth in that sketch, even though they're serving a higher purpose. 100%. Can be clipped a different way. I'm trying to write so my, you know, so they get canceled and for context, but on this show, please whisper some racist shit. There's a very valid reason. We put all our sketches on YouTube and at the end of this sketch, it is a very funny sketch. And I was like, fuck, I'm gonna do it,

I think it's very funny. The end of the sketch, I'm chanting, Watt Power, Watt Power! So if anybody wants to click that out. Wait, but you do that normally. I know I do, but the world didn't know that. Now they're gonna clip it from this. Fuck, double, fuck!

He's like, hey, what's up? No, fuck! I have double white power on the internet. You double downing on the white power. I know. I was like, I don't want that clipped of me personally. But I, you know. The context of it is like, the white folks are afraid to say any racist.

So they're gonna order food like for the office, like, do you want Indian? I could eat Indian, no, Indian. It hurts my stomach. And they're speaking everything fine except like the races But they're fine saying Italian food. I find said Polish Polish The one guy whispers when they start talking about movies. Oh, you gotta see a Bronx tail It's like the whisper the Bronx, you know, um, and eventually the black guys like yo you guys can say the races

It's not racist to say the thing, you know what I mean? And they're like, okay, say black power. And all the white people like, Blake Sheldon, boo, you know, and they're avoiding it. And it's like, okay, say white power. And then all in unison, white power, white power. It was just a reflex. Saying that one. Yeah. That's pretty funny.

Yeah, which was funny. But like, there's the respect line of like, Hey, I love this sketch. I want to sketch in, but I know I'm not very comfortable being in it. And I was like, Oh, that's fine. Nick, you want to take her part? Cool. You saying it. People are going to know it's a joke. Well, I wasn't saying it. Yeah. I mean, I think they're at a rally saying you clipped me and you're like, woof, you know, you look like the daughter of the dragon of the. I think hindsight's 20-20 though. Stop one second. You just wanted to say that.

And that's all I have to say. I think hindsight's 20-20. You guys should write that down. I think if a sketch, and I think I speak for all sorts of ones, a sketch does really well that you're questionable on. You're like, oh, thank God I did that one. If a sketch you're questionable on, like, oh shit, they oohed instead of laughing.

Maybe we shouldn't have done that, but I think that's the risk. I love an ooh. Oh, I like that too, that's a reaction. We made a St. Jude's joke, that got a lot of oohs. What the fuck, man, I donate to the money. I can't see you piece of shit. And this is all I've ever been waiting to talk about

was our Goblins versus Jews sketch. Where? There we go. Aren't they the same? This is before my time. He gets my people. So we did a sketch where, you know how J.K. Rowling, I'll go up on to that. You know, J.K.

Rowling wrote the Harry Potter books that became the movies. And in the movies, probably in the books, too, the bankers are like evil little goblins, goblins who are bitter and mean with huge long noses. Right. So that spurred up the conversation of like those are like evil little goblins who are bitter and mean with huge long noses, right? So that spurred up the conversation of like, those are like the caricatures during World War II that how Nazis depicted Jews, right? So we wrote a sketch that was,

hey, everyone's talking about the Jews being upset, being depicted as goblins, but no one's talking about the goblins being upset, being depicted as Jews, right? And that's where the problem there lies. What the goblins do. So in our sketch, you know, a goblin's sitting at the bar and he's just miserable.

And the bartender's like, you one of them Jews? And he's like, nah, man, I'm just one of them goblins. And he ends up going about his day as a goblin, encountering a Jewish person, and they're fighting with each other. They realize they're one and the same. And they sing a song holding locks over their head. I cannot believe we are talking about guys versus Jews.

I stipulate right now. And I know Danny's sitting back there, Danny's sitting back there like, that's the most brilliant sketch I've ever heard. It's a good sketch. We did this like two and a half years ago. How am I not gonna get monetized? I've had Jim Norton on here, Big J, Louis Gomez,

and this is the one that's not gonna get monetized. Yes've had Jim Norton on here, Big J, Luis Gomez, and this is the one that's not going to get monetized. Yes, that's right. I mean, we got Scooby Sucking Dick. We got White Power Chick. Well, that's just every Tuesday. Come on. This is just us promoting the April 4th Concierge. The Palestinians are going to take this and be like, I told you, they are goblins. This is going to be used.

We have one of them saying. No, I'm speaking, now the goblins are gonna come out of the shadows and finally get to stand up for themselves. Goblins, come out. Why are you wearing a Jew shirt? It's a Swaratu. I'm sorry. Jewish Swaratu.

That was terrible. He's Romanian. That's Jewish. Don't allow me, but Terry. Donald, what's up? Snap back into it. Jewish camp, talk to us. You didn't go to Jewish camp? Sleepover camp.

Which brings us to another sketch, our most recent sketch. We're getting a little, some comments about it. You didn't go to camp. You're Puerto Rican. You went to the park. We didn't have camp. Rican you went to the park We have can't we had the public pool in the streets Jay's not here, but camp Wayne. I'm shouting out camp Wayne for Jackson

That was his camp. Yeah, he loved it. Yeah. No, I didn't I did business camp what? Hang on one second. I'm gonna throw up over here for a minute. And I've still never had sex. No, I did a business camp junior high school for a week, sleepover at a Stevens Institute of Technology in Hope Oak in New Jersey. And we had to give a final presentation, a camp of a business, I do.

You know what? I just absolutely fucking. It clicks, right? It all makes sense. What was your idea? Horrible, as it may seem to. Oh, sorry, I thought that did it for you. No. I was about did it for you. No.

I was about to slip off my chair. I went to business school. He did though. He also majored in business. He made my panties wet when you said Hoboken. I was like, well, Hoboken business school. Cause that's what Hoboken is known for. Business school.

Hoboken. All right. Well, listen, it's, it is a weird thing that you guys have to be careful of it. I mean, comics, we can't... Dude, I didn't know when we started doing podcasting, this shit was going to be around forever. So it's like... Bobby, they were about to tell you about their last sketch.

It's amazing. And I'll go back to that. Oh, Danny likes it. It's my favorite sketch. Danny sent me a nice text. I'm going to hang on one second. If you interrupt me again, I will slice your throat in your sleep.

Do you understand me? And it's the only way I can cum. Wow. And there was his cum joke. Look at that. Cum King's back. On brand. Please tell us.

I wrote it as the Jewish person, but I will have Sean explain it because he was talking about it before. So our most recent recent show we did a sketch called Jumanji Which is a play on you know, Jumanji. Don't talk to me like that Yeah, I know the J E double Jumanji get it fuck's wrong with these see so it's J Sorry guys, I said I just wouldn't talk about Jewish at this whole time. Yeah, no, he's yeah.

This is how every conversation goes. It's pretty much. Before the show, he literally texted me, is it okay if I make Jew jokes? Yeah, especially May. Yeah, we actually, it's mandatory 10 Jew jokes a show. We haven't even hit our, come on now. What's the max on Goblin jokes? No max. Sorry, sorry. Jumanji, Jumanji. Jumanji. Yeah, so they pull a card and like in Jumanji, like the

world changes, monsters or animals come out of the thing, out of the game, whatever. So in this sketch, Jewish rabbis come out and they do the Hala. The Hora. The Hora. Did you say hola? Like hola bread? So maybe Nick should be talking about it. Hava Nikila. I get punched to the ground by one of the rabbis and when I stand, I come up with a big long nose because it's... Because you lied? Because I converted.

Oh, you became a Jew. Essentially, Nick, what happens there? Is that how you make Jews? In Jumanji, you pull the wrong card, you're Jewed up. Like that how you make Jews? In Jumanji, you pull the wrong card, you're Jewed up. Like you're- Oh my God. Jumanji'd up. You're Jewed. You're not screwed, you're Jewed. But in Jumanji- So he did, and I'll give props to Sean on this, because this wasn't scripted, but this

was hilarious and he broke and the whole, the crowd died and he laughed out loud, which was great. He picks up the board game, because they'll, you know, Jumanji, you pick up a card, you read it and Jumanji, you pick up a card and you read it. And he's reading it and he's using his nose to like dictate where the words are. So he's using this long prosthetic nose and he's just poking the card every time. And he starts laughing and everybody lost it, which was great. But yes, Jumanji, it's a board game where every card you pull, you become more Jewish. And then eventually he gets dragged off by a tornado and another member of our-

To sleep away camp. To sleep away camp. That is how we bring it all back. Yes, it rhymes to sleep away camp. Camp David or whatever. And he gets dragged off and then 20 years go by and he comes out in the future as a rabbi who's been stuck in South Williamsburg the whole time.

Really? Until he gets rescued from the game. And how's he rescued by her? They open, yeah, they open, the Catholic opens the game back up because I know when you start you Monge I think that's actually true to the movie as well as they come back later and get Robin Williams out of the movie right and he's Like holy shit. Oh, this isn't a jungle right and then they rescue him and he goes back to the little cute Puerto Rican nose Yeah, okay good. He gets to take yeah

I don't I don't think that's I think he lives as a Jew for the rest of his age He lives you might be a joke in a time. I don't know if's what he... I think he lives as a Jew for the rest of his ages. He lives, he might be a Jew. I don't know if he could take the nose out. How does the Jew not know how this ends? And does he keep all the... We just cut to black and there's no questions after the sketch ends. Now when he gets the card, does he keep the cards? Cause he's Jewish?

He keeps the cards. Okay. He keeps X. And sells it for double. Nine Jew jokes. One more. One more. Almost there.

Let's say a fucked up thing that isn't Jewish. Yeah. Yeah. So. But with some of these, some of this material, we do get feedback, you know, and some of the feedback is. How do you get the feedback? Live, like from them or after? In the DMs.

They go down in the DMs, they say, hey, this is what we feel about it. Or like, you know, this might've been in bad taste, I'm offended. Yeah, but can you listen to those? Because here's the thing. If you walk in, like how many times do I go to a fucking museum and went, that sucks.

You know what I mean? It's like this famous 17th century painting, I'm like boo. You know, and then I walk by some horse shit, then I like, that's nice, and they're like, you know, who knows, right? So what? I would say the response is overwhelmingly positive. Yeah.

And then the people who do message, it's like few and far between. And those are trolls, you know, for the most part, unless somebody has a real grievance and then Nick's done a really good job and Sean, you've done a good job of, you explain like, we're not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. We never intend to do that. We're always

like, we punch up. That's what we say. We don't punch down. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. Who what fucking comedy is ever trying to know when we're never trying to hurt anybody's feelings. You don't think a stand up server just trying to like heckle and get it. I've seen people just like call people C words instead. Oh just like, what, cracker? Like, you're a C word. And I was like, all right, now he's not even making a joke.

He's just. A kooky? A cutie. A cutie. I'll tell you, the C word. I like how that's where we draw the line. I was like, they used the C word. Well, the C word, it's because that person is probably

being heckling. Heckling's not one of them. Heckling is not a thing. Heckling is like, that's when it goes into another dimension and it's the old west. You can win as the heckler or I'm gonna win. Because it's fair game. Because now you don't care about the rules that we set up

where it's not a dialogue, it's a fucking monologue. And if you don't like something, you have to internally keep it, or you can't boo, you gotta, internally keep it or you can't boo you gotta You know there's things you can do or not laugh or leave But you cannot fucking protest it because this is my fucking art And if you like it you like it if you don't you don't and if you fucking yap back to me And I tell you to quiet quiet quiet shut stop when you Sometimes they don't, and that's when it becomes.

That's when the Kramer comes out. That's when, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I mean listen, there's a line, that was, Jesus Christ, dude. But it's him, he, look it up. AEW. Oh, 10? Is that 10?

What? Nevermind. Anyways, it was, you know, that's when it's, you know, fuck that. Go ahead, let's go. I've been doing this for 30 years. I'm going to fucking, I hate myself. I've made fun of myself for the last 35, 40 minutes.

Everything, it's the M&M shit. You can't fuck with a comic. I know I suck. That's all my jokes of how my dick doesn't work, my wife wants nothing to do with me, and I hate myself. You know what I mean? I know I suck. That's all my jokes of how my dick doesn't work, my wife wants nothing to do with me, and I hate myself. You know what I mean?

So let's do this, because I'm gonna fucking say some shit about you right now. Now look, the word cunt to a woman, I think is the fast response. Fat elbows, goofy eyes, balding. Those are much better, more hurtful things to say to a woman. Balding? Yeah, oh, that's crazy.

Oh, someone said that to me. Yeah, you said it to, let me say it, there's a lot of stuff before cunt. I think cunt is kinda hacky, and that's like just fucking cunt, you know what I mean? But you know, what's wrong with your eye? You have something with your tooth. You know what I mean?

That's always, I like to go there first. But, yeah, I think that, you know, with you guys though, nobody yells shit out, nobody says shit. There's been times. We've had like annoying people, has anybody said anything in response to a sketch? No. People just wanna be like contributing to a sketch.

Yeah. What does that mean, like yell, be part of it? They try to be, not a lot, but every now and then, there contributing to a sketch. Yeah. What does that mean? Like y'all be part of it? They try to be not a lot but every now and then there's been a sketch where someone tries to Shout with us. There was a sketch that we did where the joke was Justin or one of the members of our team was Sneezing and nobody in the waiting room Said bless you and that was part of like building up the comedy there because he was getting more and more aggravated and doing it More obviously to get that attention, but somebody in the audience kept on giving him the bless you. It was my brother's friend

My brother's friend kept saying bless you and ruining the sketch because that was the joke that nobody sang bless you So my brother's like elbowing this kid in the stomach, and he thinks it's hilarious to keep yelling bless you I thought you guys were gonna talk about the next night when I was just hysterically laughing because I wasn't in the group at this point and this felt very pointed, like my husband will sneeze all the time and I forgot to say bless you. And it's his like, he's like,

why wouldn't you say bless you to me? We wrote it to say you. And so I thought it was like very niche-ly funny to me. But that night actually, I think you got a lot of laughs because we were all like laughing really hard about the joke, so I don't know, nevermind. We had to kick two people out for the first time, like last show or the show before,

last show, it was last show. They were heckling compliments, which is like. They were overzealous, they were just really excited to be there, and they were pretty drunk. They were like, so we do a Frozen parody of the anime, and we froze it, and we're not doing it this show, we did it a year and a half ago, and they're like, so we do a frozen parody of the anime, we froze it. And like, we're not doing it this show. We did it a year and a half ago and they're yelling,

frozen, too frozen. And they're yelling other sketch names. So at one point, like the two people around them, which I felt bad about, I was like a 60 year old couple, who was their first show. And they were like, hey, can you quiet down? Another person said it. And they just like, I'll fucking kill you, I'll bite you.

Like they started getting up. To the old people. To the old people, everyone around them, to the old people, to another one of my buddies who tried to step in and we had to escort. It had to ask if it was Danny, but I've never He's like it was a bad night, but we never get we never really get negative But that was the only time we had like positive heckling that still had to be I wanted to do frozen Frozen I remember the worst I've kicked people out. It is the I always hated the two times that

The worst, I've kicked people out, and I always hate it. The two times that sucked is one time this lady was on her phone at Nashville, Zany's, and she kept getting on her phone. And this was when phones first came out, then the flip phones and shit. And finally I was like, hey, why are you fucking, I just snapped.

I was like, why don't you fucking get the fuck out? You can't pay attention, you gotta fuck, what are you, 10? You know, and I snapped, and she just looked up, she goes, Bobby? And I was like, oh shit, she what are you, 10? You know, I snap and she just looks up, she goes, Bobby. And I was like, oh shit, she knows my name, which means she's a fan. She's like, Bobby, I'm sorry, my daughter got

in a car accident and I don't wanna leave because I don't wanna, I love your comedy, but I go, oh my God, just go back. Go. Go to your daughter. She's like, oh you, I don't wanna disrupt your show. I was like, please go find out what happened. I go, I got the bill, just go.

Just go, do you wanna grab a drink after this? And there was another time I was doing a show with J. David, oh by the way, J. David, we should get J. David on the show, you guys don't know him. But he, he was on stage doing his thing, and they're fucking with him, the crowd's heckling him. And I'm like, now handle it. Yeah.

Handle it. But he's like, oh, he literally, I hate when they do this. Bobby's gonna really deal with you. Suck my. Now it's your problem. Yeah, of course. So I went out and I'm like fucking ready. You know, fucking cunt.

I'm just ready to fucking. Drop in the hatding. Fat elbows. Fat elbows. Right. Fat elbows. That would hit me in the heart. First of all, I love fat elbows. My wife has fat elbows and I like biting them with no teeth.

So, I hate a skinny elbow. So I go out and they fucking, they immediately say something. And I fucking, I went, ugh. I fucking went in the car, who was it? Who the fuck is, and these three dudes, young dudes, right? And they just went, they pointed to this little Indian kid. And I went, fucking you. I grab him, I go, fucking, I'm calling ICE.

It wasn't him. It was the three fucking jock kids. And they were bullying. They just went, him, and I just grabbed him. Oh, this poor kid. And he's like, it wasn't me. And I was like, I still feel sad. And if you're out there, every time I tell the story,

I'm like, if you're out there, dude, please contact me. I know you probably have kids by now, and you probably weigh a lot more, if you're out there, dude, please contact me. I know you probably have kids by now and you probably weigh a lot more and you're probably a man, but I fucking scared him. I bet he thinks about that every day still. And I knew it because these little fucking, they started giggling, these fucks.

I know it's not you. It's you. But it's not you. It's your type. Believe me. It's your kind. Believe me. I don't consider you the jock type. Oh.

Maybe for Batman. You, If I was casting this, you'd play the Indian kid. But hold on, I'll get into character. I'll move my mouth while you talk. Oi, not me, Bobby. Bobby, I'm in a cabinet. I am in a cabinet. The little Indian in the cabinet. Was that a movie?

The Indian in the cupboard, yeah. Cabin, sorry.. The little Indian in the cabinet. Was that a movie? The Indian in the cupboard, yeah. The cupboard, sorry. It wasn't that Indian either, which is even better. Oh, oh yeah, sorry. That was a Native American. That was a Native American. But that's really funny though.

Double. Yeah, so, I mean, it's a weird thing. You got to... Do you have somebody kick people out? I think it was security from Cafe Wa helped us out. Yeah, they threatened security. They threatened security too. They threatened and then they came in.

I think one of the security guards had an eye injury and the drunken person was like, I can fuck up your other eye. And they threw him the fuck out, yeah. What a neat thing to say to somebody. That's a fucked up thing to say, yeah. Somebody has conjunctivitis and you're like, I'll fuck up your other eye.

Oh, that sucks. That's bad. Now, you guys all in the, do you guys live together? Are you guys? No. Yeah, we have like a hype house for the whole group. I could never. Is it like a cult?

Is it a cult? They put me in the bathtub. Nobody answered that question. Is it a cult? It's a cult. It is, right? It's a Jewish cult. It's a Jew, muzzle tough.

Is it, Adonah Lempiterri Co. Is it, like do you guys, where do you live? Brooklyn. You live in Brooklyn it like, do you guys, where do you live? Brooklyn. You live in Brooklyn. Now, do you guys, any of you guys together, like friends, I'm talking friends, not like. No, we're all friends. But nobody, like in the, you live.

She's married in the group. I'm married. You're the only one that hooked up in the group to your husband. Pre, pre. I know, I know, I know. So you're grandfathered in. Yes.

Is it against the rules to hook up? No. It probably would have been outside of that. I mean, you have no say. Of course you hooked up in the group. I'm like, it's not against the rules. Unless we're all hooking up together. That's culty.

Yeah. Maybe. Is that a rule they have to hook up with you at least twice in one? No. That's how I've kept my job here. I need to reread the contract that we signed. Yeah, we wouldn't be here.

There's like really tiny text below the regulation. You have to do it in original characters. I like to have sex with different people. I've been doing that Scooby bit for a while now. Is that where you got it from? He was Shaggy? Shaggy? He was Shaggy.

Good catch. Were you? Wow, that's weird. But he was actually sucking Fred's dick. I was actually sucking Fred's dick. That was my husband, yeah. OK, that's nice. Velma. but he was actually sucking Fred. I was actually sucking Fred's dick. That was my husband. Yeah, okay. That's nice She was a great Velma yeah, all right let me hear you. Oh gosh What is the personal I'll do it bad so you could do it well like what's wrong with it? We're here

Doctors later. Thank you We're we're here the doctor's office Like something like that. Scooby Doo. Do the, what is the line? According to my knowledge of, yeah. According to my knowledge of substance abuse, Scooby is having withdrawals from his Scooby snack habit.

And I'm like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, your face. Kind of, yeah. Similar, yeah. Do they really? That's funny. That's also in the contracts. It's all Nick's cum, too. You have to, you have to. He's just pumping it. You're in the writer's room. Give me one sec.

I got to get the cum for the Scooby bit. Whoa. That's disgusting. That's another story. You know they make fake cum. I'm sure. The stuff they put on the honey buns, you can use that. Ooh.

I was going to say you can use like moisturizer. What? Why would you do that? You can't lick it. Why would you waste moisturizer the honey buns, you can use that. I was gonna say you can use like moisturizer. What? Why would you do that? You can't lick it. Why would you waste moisturizer? Why? You can't lick it. Use the frosting.

Oh, we've got a lube story. Oh, we have. The lube story is so good. Please tell me this, because we have to go to Patreon. Do you guys mind? We're gonna go to Patreon, we've got questions for you guys. Oh yeah, fun. From the fans, so if you, we're gonna go,

I fucking love you. She is so happy. You are miserable, dude. It's on you now, it's on her. This is my life. You and Alison just complained to each other the whole time. I love them.

All right, ready? Tell me the story. So we are working, I'll say an unnamed brand that makes sex products. We're doing like a collab video with them. And we came up with this idea to do like a really shitty superhero called Condom Man who just like pops up wherever you don't want him, right?

He pops up in your bed with condoms. He pops up and he throws condoms at everybody. And they liked the idea and they're like, oh cool, Condom Man, that's simple, that's cute, we'll do it. And then I was like, well, what if Condom Man has a sidekick, lube boy, right? So Condom Man is me and i'm just taped

condoms all over my entire body and then i'm going to give a special shout out to justin desley another member of imbm who is probably the only person in the group who would agree to do this cover his entire body in can i so a normal person this happened at my apartment so i'm i have grievances with this but a normal person would take the lube, squirt it in their hand and then, you know, applaud. Not Justin. No, Justin looks at us and he goes, hey guys, takes the lube bottle,

squirts the whole bottle over his head two hours before we filmed his scene. Oh really? That's my favorite part. So he's caked, dripping everywhere. It stained a couch. Oh no. Like a slug. It was something. There was so much lube on his face and his body that when, you know, he had, when like

he had like maybe a little like snot rocket or something, you couldn't tell where the lube ended. Right. where like the other bodily fluid it extended it. So like I have a video which I'll show you after Yeah, let's have the screen And he just like is like Boy, and he spits and the spit mixed with the lube just like I almost I had to step outside hangs out of his mouth It's hot Needless to say we're probably not gonna give this brand the lube videos.

Lube boy's not gonna make the cut? I'm sorry, they would scream. I think for us, I think at some point in the future, those are very shock value videos. Can I ask you a question? What if you get a lube company? If they want lube boy, they want it. You should go to a lube company to do Lube Boy.

I think if you saw Lube Boy, you'd be like, I don't know if anybody would. Nobody would buy this product. They would run from it. I think it's hot. I will show you the video. It's like a melted popsicle. No, it's birth.

It's like fresh out. Fresh out, yeah. Sorry, I'm gonna draw it in. But I feel like if my eyes had to see it, everybody has to see it. I just love that it was like two hours before they even started filming. Can we put that in this episode?

Lou Boy? I mean, if he's cool with it, if he's cool with it, I'll text him. Yeah. So, all right, everybody. First of all, I wanna thank you guys. Right now we're gonna put, enjoy Lou Boy. I hope you don't throw up.

Please leave comments whether you think that Lube Boy, we should get a company to sponsor Lube Boy and he should make more videos. I think you should do it. Wait Sean, can you do the- Lube Boy! Now sound. Lube Boy.

I think you should do it. Wait Sean, can you do the Condom Man and Lube Boy voice? Condom Man and lube boy on the man and lube boy I Want to thank you guys for coming on it was very like it reminds me back in the day when I used to Like I said it is two different worlds I lived in and I always like dipping into the actor comedy improv world because it was nice You didn't get fucking your feelings hurt as so much as hanging out with you know

Cuz we are just friends hanging out trying to make each other laugh, you know, Jim Norton Colin Quinn and you know Joe list they're all my friends, but we're very mean to each other. It's a different world You know what I mean? You can't show up with clothes that are stupid. You can't You know what I mean? Can't stutter. Yeah, I feel like this world is such a nicer place, but you will talk behind each other's backs. Oh yeah.

If somebody says a line on stage, if somebody improvs something on stage and it's not a funny joke, we all give them shit. Should we shout out? Shout out another member of the group, Kaya Simmons, who decided to just call a white woman in a sketch. I wrote Beyonce for no reason. And didn't tell any of us.

Just didn't run it by anyone and just silence on stage. He's just like, he'll throw out a, you know, an improv like that sometimes. And we're like, why? Why? That is funny. What's his name? Kaia Simmons.

Kaia, you piece of shit. You might recognize him from the keeps commercial. Hey Kaia, why don't you stop it? Piece of shit. You know, he's gotten so much shit over this. This is hilarious. We're layering it on. All right, well, listen, check.

Give your individual things or whatever you want to plug right now. Go with you first. My name is Allison McHugh. Follow me on Instagram, Allison T. McHugh, and also, you know, just follow up. I mostly blend myself. You're going to see it all there. Yeah. I'm Kelly Baker at Kelbakes,

and I'm gonna shout out my husband, Jackson Hinden. What a nice person. I think it's at Jackson Hinden. You'll find him. You think it's J, maybe J. I think it's Jackson Hinden. I think it's Jackson Hinden. You'll find him if you find me.

Yeah. You didn't know your husband's thing? That's crazy. You know, yeah. Okay. What do you got, Scooby? I'm Sean Manna. You can follow me at Way of the Sean.

That's S-E-A-N, and it's like Way of the Dragon. And yeah, you'll see all my weirdness there. And just follow I Mostly Blame Myself on all platforms. And always be looking out for goblins. Look at you just, we are. Look at you just plugging the thing. Well his bio, the bio of I mostly blame myself has his. You'll find me in the bio of the name.

It'll be like a creative credit. Right, okay. I'm like Al in the monkeys. You like Al? He's a shit. Hope you wind up where he's at. Australia. He's doing pretty good.

He's a kid. I hope in New Zealand, not Australia. Hope you're in New Zealand not doing good. No, I'm kidding. Not seeing the Lord of the Rings set. Nerd. I mean, who would fucking know? What a dweeb.

Not seeing the Lord of the Rings set would be awesome. Who would do that, a stupid jock. All right, listen, we're going to Patreon.com. Guys, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram, at Danny Braff, and come to Comedy of Irvin Summerville, New Jersey the third Thursday of every month. Hey everybody, it's Joe Russell.

Go to YouTube, type in the cheese show. And guess what, it's a show about fucking cheese. Why you gotta swear, dude? Why you gotta swear? I'm sold though. I mean it is. Have you seen it? No, but I'm interested.

Oh my God, you should, it's on the net. You gotta watch it, it's him and his wife, and they do a show about cheese and it's very funny. And I don't know why it hasn't taken off. Somebody just got killed. New York. I don't have anything as good as the cheese show, but you can follow me on Instagram at Zachary Unlimited.

Thank you. Wow, you suck. Why would you do that, dude? I want you to be, have some confidence, Zach. God damn it. I have nothing, Bobby. I know, stop saying that. Send me some of your standup, I wanna see it.

I mean, say it in the microphone. Oh my God, it was so far, okay. Okay. Anyways, we'll see you, of course, make sure you subscribe, go to patreon.com slash, what is it? Robert Kelly. I don't know mine.

Fuck it, wow. Make sure you go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and join and you can go there and ask questions and get the show early and get an extra episode a week and you support the show and I get to keep having these weirdo producers come and do this for us. Hope you enjoyed it, we'll see you guys next time. On.

You know what dude? I have 15 podcasts. Bonda, you know what dude? Greg, bonfire. Alright, we'll see you guys next week, bye.