Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #593 | Yakov Smirnoff | What a Country

Episode Date: June 29, 2025

This week on YKWD Yakov Smirnoff comes on to discuss The Tonight Show, doing comedy in Branson, and to judge Soviet Russia's Got TalentUpgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code DUDE athttps://www.ridge.com/DUDEGet the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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by telling them I sent you. Me and the Tizzy to sent you over That's ridge comm code, dude. What's up everybody? It's Robert Kelly and we are back at the Comedy Cellar studios above the world famous Comedy Cellar and I have Ike I mean I was a very special guest I mean look all the people on the show great, but I mean this is this is great for me because I grew up watching them and One of the superstars growing up one of the guys that was like, you know hit the stratosphere And he's in my studio right now, please Danny. Tell us who's on the show

You have the great Yakov Smirnoff on the show today. I mean, how do I build it up so good and then you? Great yaks Yakov Smirnoff on the show today. I mean, how do I build it up so good? And then you got the great Yakov Smirnoff. Danny, what the fuck? Bobby, I'm nervous and I'm starstruck. I'm so excited about this. Do it again, Danny. Yeah, try it one more time. Ready? We have the legendary, amazing Yakov Smirnoff

straight off the Tonight Show. Nope. Try, Zach. You try it. We have the one, the only Yakov Smirnov. Wow. Good job, Zach. See, this is the moment. These are the moments in this business, right? And correct me if I'm wrong, where you step up or you step aside. And Zach, who I don't even really know his name until right now, and he's been here for two years. I never knew him. He stepped up.

He stepped up and Danny stepped. You know, and you know what? Good job, Zach. Zach, what's your last name? Let me learn that now. Oh, do you really want to? No, I don't. Anyways, dude, so good to see you. You're on the bonfire. Yes. You came in there. I was excited to have you on. Thank you. It's funny because when they like, hey, we're're gonna have blah, blah, blah, they always ask, it's a polite. Yeah. You know, I'm sure if I said no, they'd be like, yeah, whatever.

But I was like, when you were on, I'm like, get the fuck, because I saw you in Nashville, you were doing story wars. Yes. At the Nashville Comedy Festival. We're at Zany's, great club, shout out. Yeah. Those do those people over there. Wonderful. And I looked at but dude, I'm standing next to you and I don't know what you. I just don't know what you. I don't know. Sometimes it's me.

Yeah, but I'm just hanging out. You're in the green room and I'm just looking at you and because you peacock a little bit. You always have a nice jacket on. You always look great. Yeah. So when you walk into a room and there's somebody, like you look, I was like, who's this guy? I was like, who's this fucking rich guy? You know what I mean? And then they were like, hey, somebody was like, oh,

I'm on Who's on the Storys? And I think it was Jay. It was like, big Jay. He's like, oh, we got Yacoff on. I go, that's him. And then I got nervous and I didn't talk to you. Oh, but I did watch you. I was nervous and I don't know how you are. Right. I was nervous because you're a legend. Right.

Well, that does something we should probably try to figure this out, because when I hear those words, it feels good. But I don't know what that means. I don't know what creates versus like successful, long lasting career. I can tell you what it means to me. What is it? It means somebody who reached the,

got to that point in this business where you were a household name. Okay. And then whatever happened went away because this business is not a rocket ship. It is a roller coaster. That's right. It goes up and down. Oh, boy.

And I know that. And the fact that you're coming back, you're just coming back and it's there's no. It's it's just you're just coming back and you're doing it. And I saw you jumping on podcasts with the young bucks. That's true. You just jumping on the podcast. You're coming on the bonfire. You're going on, you know, story wars. You're just doing it and you're doing it and you're doing it as you. And you're kicking ass. There's no it's and you're doing it as you and you're kicking ass.

There's no, it's like you didn't miss a step and you came back and you didn't turn into something. Now you're still you, but which is great. So to me that, that's legendary status. Got it. Right? Yeah, well, I'm not sure I got it because it's me. So it's like, okay, I thought legend is when you die, you know, but I'm

still here, you know. So it's a concept that I will need to somehow figure out because I hear it a lot. And I go and I see it more in in comedians eyes, you know, when they do. I have a podcast and you you know, and and they come on my podcast and they're like, man, you don't know what you've done for me or, you know, over the years. And I go, I don't I don't know. I just was doing what I was supposed to do. It's like when I was a Mitzi,

Mitzi Shore, the owner of the comedy class, she used to tell me you and Reagan changed the world. And I was like, come on, Mitzi, I'm just a comedian. You know, and no, Yakov, you changed the world. You helped. You gave Reagan ammunition that he was able to destroy the Soviet Union. And I'm like, is that a little pressure? Maybe. ammunition that he was able to destroy the Soviet Union. And I'm like, is that a little pressure maybe? That's a lot.

That's a lot. I mean, wait a second. Let's just back up. She was on drugs. Yes. Okay. No. Sorry Mitzi.

She can't hear you. Yeah. I don't know if you heard. I, you never know. You were away a long time. She was pretty powerful. I was a pole bearer until her funeral. But that is a pretty crazy thing to say because do you...

I mean, is that... It's not crazy. When you say Reagan, you're talking about the president. Because you got to understand a lot of kids that are listening to this are like, who? Who is that? Ryan Reagan? No. Ronald Reagan, the president of the United States. I never look, I was that was my that was my, you know, childhood.

That was my teenage years. Yes. You. Yeah. And all the comics that were coming up. So I never thought of that because I don't. I never thought of politics. I wasn't into that. I didn't understand what was happening in the world. I knew that Russia was this and we were that. And I saw it in movies and stuff like that. Yeah. Rocky IV. Yeah. Right.

Rocky IV, Schwarzenegger, whatever that was. So so you're saying that, I mean, I wasn't saying it. So people were. Yeah, she was. And I was totally in denial. I mean, because I was starstruck all of a sudden. I'm in front of the president and he's asking my opinion. What to do was I'm not joking. This is this was real.

The president asked what your opinion was. What would you do with Gorbachev? You know, wow. Yeah. Because he and I said, am I the most qualified person to answer that question? And he goes, you are because you've been lived in the Soviet Union for 26 years. None of us politicians have. Yeah. So so they were he was really curious and he was really interested in that. And then his writers came to me and and they asked me to do some jokes

because he was going to do a speech in Kremlin for the first time, like after many years of Americans not being in Russia. And so they asked me to do this, to write some jokes for the speech. And I'm thinking, if this doesn't work, I don't have any countries to go to. Right. Yeah. Where am I going? Hey, you're done. So but I was honored. So I wrote jokes that like them, they put them in the speech.

And then they and they said, Do you mind reading the speech and telling us if it has the right tone? I'm not going this is too much pressure. What am I? What? You know, so but I read it and I said, honestly, don't hate me, but it's not the right tone of of the you're talking down to them. And they are not in that place where they would want to hear that. Yeah. And they go, well, why don't you rewrite the speech?

Jesus Christ. And I'm going, you said, they go, yeah, just do it. And I did. And I changed, I didn't change a lot, but I changed the kind of tone instead of like talking to like a child to talking to an adult. Yeah. And it worked.

It did work. So you were like the first AI. Change the tone, write the speech. They were just using you as a right. I guess. And you did all this, and that's what he used? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally. Totally. It was surreal, because are all of a sudden I'm like advisor to to the president. Yeah. And then after the whole thing, after he was retired and, you know, and he would he they would call me and say, Mr. President, we'd like to invite you to luncheon, you know, and they just want new jokes.

He loved the Russian jokes. So I was his supplier. I was like a dealer. Right. At the White House. But Reagan was a I mean, movie star first. Yeah. And then became the president of the United States. But very funny. And he loved comedy.

He did. Don Rickles. Yep. Yeah. Did you ever meet Don Rickles? You must know. You never did. Never did. No. It did. Don Rickles. Yep, yep. Did you ever meet Don Rickles? You must have. No. You never did? Never did, no. How did that? I don't know.

I don't know. We probably worked in Vegas about the same time in the 80s, but never met him. Met Red Skeleton. Yeah. That was fun. You know, that was, I have a story about this, you know,

that he was at Caesar's Palace and I was at Trump Plaza. And so I, you know, I didn't grow up with Red Skelton, so I didn't really know much. So I went to see his show and I loved the show. And I went to, I want to say hi to him. So, and there's like a long hallway and his door is open to his greener or to his dressing room. And he is sitting there and I can hear him go, I'm going to sue you. I go with me. Yes, I'm going to sue you. I said, what, what, what did I do? And he goes, I was watching The Tonight Show.

And you sat down with Carson. And you said, in America, you have things we never had in Russia, like policemen have warning shots. And he said, I fell off the bed. And I broke my hip. That's why I have a case. I'm going to sue you. That's funny.

That's great. That's a nice story. I thought that was gonna go south. I thought you're gonna get sued by Red Skelton. I was gonna have to hate Red Skelton now because he sued you. No, no, no. He was just being funny. So dude, you did the Tonight Show last night for the first time in how many years?

35 years. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, my first appearance was 40 years ago. Yeah, we talked about that on the bonfire the guy Said to you the tonight show Booker at that time Jim McCauley. Yes said that you will get on this show When the hell freezes over and then you wound up getting on the show because Johnny saw you in a commercial And so my Miller light commercial. Yeah, right and then you wound up doing on the show because Johnny saw you in a commercial. And so my Miller Lite commercial. Right. And then you wound up doing the show six times.

Correct. Seven. Seven times. This was my eight time on tonight show. The first time was Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. Now you did it seven times. You're doing it with The King. I mean, yeah, when late night was late night. That's true. There was two shows. That's true. There was two. And there was really one. Yeah. Most of the country. Yeah. It was Johnny night. That's true. There was two shows. That's true. There was two and there was really one.

Yeah. Yeah. For most of the country. Yeah. It was Johnny Carson. Yeah. And that was, that was our entertainment. That was our nighttime entertainment.

Yeah. And he was one of the, I mean, the best at it. Yeah. I think everybody will say that. He's the best. And he treated comics. Yeah. He made comics.

Yes, he did. Made them. And Jimmy is as close to that as I've seen, because their main quality was they they were listening. Yeah, listen. And they laugh in the right places. It wasn't fake. It wasn't, you know, planned. It was just funny to them. And then the rest of the country could feel that because Jimmy Jimmy loves.

He does standups. And he treat I mean, let me tell you, dude, I'm old in the tooth. He saw me at something and was and was like, do we want to get you on the show? And he did. Most of the time you hear that shit and it's it's bullshit. And I did The Tonight Show for the first time. And it was just crazy. You know, too. I mean, look, I feel bad because it's there's so many other late night shows and they saturated the business and blah, blah, blah, blah.

But Jimmy is a real good person. And the booker of it, you know, yeah, great guy. Great guy helps you with your stuff. Yes. But he knows the stuff too. He knows it. And he I was just he was downstairs and I was I was talking to him. I said, listen, your coaching was so important because you knew what to trim.

It's like trim. All the fat gets rid of all that. And that's and so that's why. And it was interesting that I didn't know this. They do a run through before the performance at the night show. Have you done when they did they do it with you when you were there? They do a run through. I mean, they did a run through, but I didn't.

I mean, yeah, they you go out, you do your thing. Yeah, yeah, you do your thing in front of director, producer. Yeah, yeah. A couple of people and they're laughing and stuff like that they told me that in nine years Jimmy never came out to watch this thing that's a lie he came out there in mine he did okay yeah I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding you just you just popped my bubble, you know, you pop my bubble because I did Mitch I had a pop yours right back. You had But mine was there. I didn't give me a high to me

But Michael did now. Yeah Mike came in. He was a good job by and I'll get now. No Jimmy's the best Yeah, I'll tell you a story about Jimmy. Yeah, tell me so I gave him a gift He's the best. Yeah, I'll tell you a story about Jimmy. Well, yeah, tell me. So I gave him a gift. So years ago, when he just got on SNL, when he first popped on and he was the new kid, he was like, you know, you could tell he's going to be a he's going to be a star. I did a college with him. So I'm opening for him at this Syracuse University. And it's a big college. It's a big paying gig for me.

I must be crazy money for him and We're in the we're in the back and I'm you know He's not who he is now, but he's about to be so you can feel it So they had two gifts for us colleges would always give you like a sweatshirt So it said, you know Robert Kelly and Jimmy Fallon. So I opened up my box. It was a nice little you know, whatever blue Sweatshirt, you know, not even a hood on it, blah, blah, blah. Said Syracuse. I'm like, cool. And then when he was on stage, I opened up his box and it was embroidered Syracuse, risen letters on top of risen. It was such a better hoodie.

I switched the hoodies. Ah, so I took I took his hoodie. Because he never knew. Never knew that I... And I always felt shitty about it. Because he did tell them. I brought him, I bought him the sweater. I bought him the sweater, the exact sweater I stole from him.

I bought it so when I did the Tonight Show, I go, you dude, I got a gift for you. And I gave him the sweater. But this is what a psycho ego I am in my brain. I just sensed that immediately when you said I got pop your bubble. You know, I was going for a kill and you're like, oh, no, you're annoying. Well, I'm great. I'm sorry about the bubble thing.

You really popped my bubble first. Let's be honest. I did. I didn't mean to, but I did. Buddy, I'm so crazy in my brain. I'm like, dude, I'm going to do so good. He's going to call me over to retell the story. And that's going to be my, like, remember the Carson days? Yeah, of course. Did you sit down with him after your set on this one?

Well, I'm going to pop your bubble again. Damn it. You sat down? Yeah. Son of a... It was my camera. God damn it, Jimmy. I sat down too. Listen, the thing is...

Did you really? I know, I did. Oh. You have to... You have to work with this all the time. I'm just here for an hour. No, but I was so... That's great that you came in and you kicked ass on the show.

And now are you going to are you going to do it again? I would love to. So you had fun. I did nerve wracking because I haven't done it for 35 years. So it's like, you know, you're you're kind of you're totally new to younger generation. And that was one of the best things as much as I enjoyed. I mean, Jimmy was as as respectful, as honoring as you could possibly be.

He was just like, you know. And but then going through the gift shop and seeing the people who were at the show. I can't see them because lights are in their face. So I don't know. I don't know. They're young, they're old. They're laughing. Good. Yeah. And here I walk in there and there there's like a dozen of young couples, single, but younger people.

Yeah. Who are looking at me like, what? That was amazing. And it's like they never heard me. They never seen me. That was probably even more important than hearing the laughter and all of those other things. Yeah, because I was talking to someone like, dude, he's he's going on podcasts. He has a podcast. He's jumping back in to all the stuff. Because that must be crazy because look,

I came up in this podcasting world, right? Yes, yes. But it didn't exist. You were a stand-up comic. You got on The Tonight Show or on some movie, and they saw what you did, and then you either had it or you didn't, and you became a star, and then maybe a sitcom,

and you did theaters, and you made specials and and that's what your thing was right? Yes. But you come back and you have this whole new medium that you have to you have to be almost like a broadcaster now. Yeah. Because you have a podcast. What's the name of the podcast? It's called Comedy Couch. Comedy Couch. And what is it about? What are you doing? I do, I have a psychology degree from University of Pennsylvania and I got my doctorate degree from Pepperdine. So I was really fascinated with one thing. Why laughter happens in the beginning of the relationship, any relationship actually, with

children, parents, any, and then when the relationship goes sour, the laughter dies first. And then if you're in a romantic relationship, then sex is next, and so that was. I just looked over and there's a woman staring at me. I was like, who the, she just appeared, dude. Listen to me, this room is filled up. As we started, it was nobody. Then I look over, there's? She just appeared, dude. I, listen to me, this room is filled up

as we started, it was nobody. Then I look over, there's a dude in a blue shirt. Then there's your social media guy. And then I looked over and this woman staring at me like she was gonna murder me. And I just scared the shit out of me. Please don't. Let's just wait another 40 minutes

and then do what they got. Do what you got. Give me 50 minutes. 50. She was looking at me like, you better not talk to him in a disrespectful way. He is a legend. I will snap your neck.

I don't even know if you have an accent. So this was fascination of mine. And the comedy couch is kind of talking to people like yourself and trying to dissect or reverse engineer where is your humor coming from? Why? Why are you funny? That's basically what I'm doing there.

And it gives me an opportunity to dive into the childhood of people. Why? Who was there? What was it? Because we start doing, we start creating laughter. It's not even doing comedy because it's we're creating laughter and then we get hooked on it and then we become it. Take it as our profession.

But most people don't have that skill set. And I don't know of any comedians who actually went into that scientific world and decided, I'm going to figure this thing out. And I did as much as I think I could over those studies. And it was all very scientific you know, very scientific stuff. They didn't want any jokes in my dissertation. They were the only humor was there on the cover.

It was a law of laughter, LOL. That was the name of my dissertation. That was the funny, that was it. That was it. So you went back to school. Yeah. A lot of people don't know. We talked to us a little about fire. I'm sure you people have heard it, but a lot of people don't know.

You you were big. You had this thing. And then you said to us, David Lederman had the Cold War was happening. David Lederman did the top 10 with what he say. Well, what happened is the the Cold War was ending. You could tell that with the Berlin Wall coming down in 89 and then 91, the Soviet Union collapsed. And when it collapsed, all these republics became separate. So Letterman had a top 10 list on a Christmas Eve of 1991 and said, a top 10 list of things will now

change. And I made number one on the list, Yakov Smirnoff will be out of work. Wow. And I thought it was funny. And my, you know, in-laws were laughing. I was laughing with them and going, yeah, well, what are you gonna, I'm not going to be funny anymore. What's going on? You know, and it was so amazingly weird that six months later, none of my contracts, because the contracts were like for the end of the year, the middle of the year, whatever it was, they were not renewed. None of them.

Because of that statement? I don't think it was a statement. I think Letterman was in tune with America. And I don't think he's the one who made this possible. I think it was the perception of Americans that was about the Soviet Union and the pain in the butt. And then I was like, you know, I was like preparation age. And, and you know, when you have burning and itching

and swelling goes away. Yeah, you get a heart on. I'm sorry. You don't, I do. I miss that. I do, I do. That's my thing. Really?

Yeah, it's different. Yeah. I'm just trying to make the kid laugh. I mean, they got she laughed at that. You got thrown axe in my head. I throw him at you now. I have bread. Yeah. So I was pretty severe

because I will lived in Pacific Palisades. We're next to Tom Hanks and Goldie Hahn and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, we were we were like the living American dream. Two little two kids, beautiful American wife. Everything was like cooking and then no work and no money to pay mortgage. And so American dream becomes a nightmare.

Yeah. Yeah. And so there was no place to go and clubs would not take. I mean, I I tried. Comedy changed, man. Comedy became comedy. Always kind of changes. And it comes around to you know what I mean? Yeah. And I think that look, you know, when I was coming up, it was seven minutes of clean material tonight show exactly

That's what everybody told me seven minutes of clean material seven and then all of a sudden I was like I don't have I don't that's not my life. You know, I don't have I'm not a clean I'm gonna I'm you know, I'm a kind of fucked up kid It just didn't make sense to me when I did clean material Do you want to hear one of my clean jokes? Yeah, yeah. I said, here you go, ready? This is one of my clean jokes.

And I couldn't pull it off because it came out like a joke. You know, I just think about, I would say, yeah, my father, my stepfather always made me say rake leaves. Rake leaves, why are you raking leaves? As you're raking, they're falling. That's why they called it fall.

Why don't they come up with another season called fell? All the leaves fell. I do this once. God named them leave. Leave them there. He didn't name them pick me ups. Yeah, yeah. Well, she hated it.

She hated it. I love it. God named them leaves. Leave them there. Is that better? Leave them there. I love her. I love it. God named them leaves. Leave them there. Is that better? I love her. I want one. So yeah, and then it changed.

MTV got in and it got a little edgier and everything became edgier. Then you got, you know, you got Andrew Desclay, kicking ass. And then it turned on him. Right. I don't know. When did it? I don't know if it did. He's playing arenas, dude. That's true. Another legend who is doesn't you. The one thing about comics is we don't need you to say yes.

We can find a way to do a show. OK, we can do a show. Yeah, we can. We will perform. Right. We don't need you to go, hey, you're good. We can find a place. And that's exactly what you did. Right. Well, I did because I had no I tried. I tried many different options and I couldn't make it happen. And then the you know, somebody I was actually doing a farm aid with Willie Nelson and Rosen Barr and Tom Arnold and Willie Nelson is the one who suggested he goes,

he was in Branson at that time, Branson, Missouri, and he said, Yaakov, you would do great there, you there. And I'd never heard of Branson. So I'm going, OK, I'll give it a shot, because I had no options. And there, I went there, and I was blown away. Andy Williams was there, and Tony Orlando was there. And there was people, and they were packing the theaters. And I was like, where am I? What is this place? And they were,

there was a lot of tourists and a lot. So I stayed because, you know, and I got, I rented the theater, small theater, started there and then they liked me because I was this clean, family friendly, patriotic. Those are the values that that community really appreciates. And it kind of matched what I can offer. And it was a blessing in disguise. I thought I'll be just for a year there. It's been 32 years.

Dude, it's crazy because I remember the comedy community in Boston. They'd be like, they'd always be like, yo, man, Yacov. That's what you say. Like, you always wonder what happened to Roseanne? What happened to who's the other one with the sledgehammer? Oh, Gallagher. Gallagher.

What happened? Oh, his brother. He gave sold his brother's act. Right. And it was like, what? And you were like you were like one of the guys. We were like, wow. Like people would say, what happened? He bought a theater and he does his own shows. And we'd all be like, that's cool.

And wow, what a fucking great idea. That could be part of that. What we started talking about, that legend thing, you know, because I kind of disappear off the face of the theater, but I didn't, right? I created my own environment, which I was able to, I would do 400 shows a year.

It's crazy. How many seats? 2,000. That's still. Yeah. And it's your theater. It's my theater. You charge the ticket price.

Yes, I do. You own the theater. I own the theater. Now what made you made this theater so ornate and so, like the seats have your name on them. I mean, it's, it's, it's, was this an upgrade that you did in the last? Yes. Okay. So you made it that. Yeah. The theater was beautiful for years and years now.

But then we had the storm damage and the part of the roof and there was like a water park in there. It was crazy. So it was destroyed. So it was an interesting moment in my life. That was only a year and a half ago when I was like going, well, I can take the insurance money and call it quits. Or and and this is where I was doing a show with Larry, the cable guy in nearby where I was.

And and Larry said, you know, I love Branson because you can perform and then go play golf next morning. Yeah. And I go, come to my theater. And then I realized I don't have a theater because it was destroyed. Really? That moment was like deciding moments. I want to be able to say, come to my theater and have a theater.

And that's when I put all the two and a half million dollars into remodeling it and making it ornate and beautiful and all of that. Because I was still when someone says they have a theater to go right. And then I went to the son of a bitch has a theater. This son of a bitch. He's got a he's got a woodcarving with his initials in it, like the the fucking Titanic, like the you know what I mean? The Nina Pinter in Santa Maria. It's like and the seats are, like the, you know what I mean? The Nina Pinter and Santa Maria.

It's like, and the seats are like, like these big, they're like gaming chairs with your name embroidered on it. And I was like, wow, he really, he's got a damn theater. He's got a big ego. Yeah, that's right. He wants on every chair. I'd have a big ego too if I sat down

and I had the only pre-show interview when Jimmy came out. That'd be amazing too, I would have a big evil too if I sat down and I had the only pre-show interview when Jimmy came out. That'd be amazing too. I would have that. It would have been, yeah. So dude, you got this theater, you're doing this thing, and now you could just ride off and look at this thing. It's so beautiful.

And you're so patriotic. You love America. I do. Like this thing. What a country. Yes. Is not is not a put down. No. This is you. This is me. This is me painting this stuff. This is you painted that paint.

Yeah. Go back to that. What I paint. So you have a doctorate. I'm a professor. You're a professor. Right. You have a theater. Yeah. You got cool jackets. Probably got a big Russian slong.

And you paint. And I have a beautiful wife who's pregnant. She got pregnant. And she's way younger than you. She is. And I'm very proud of that. That's. I still got it.

I still got it. You still got it. I mean, this is nuts. Look at that theater. Now, do you have do you have any like are any comics that go? Does it have to be is it all clean? Yeah, it has to be very clean. Has to be clean. All right. Well, there you go. That's the answer I was looking for.

Wow. You really subtle. You really bubble. You're a bubble buster, aren't you? What the fuck? I guess it has to be clean. Now, people, you know, like Tim, Tim Hackens, who is a more Christian comedian, he he sells out. Right. Shonda Pierce, Christian comedian. She sells out.

It's a very Christian environment. Right. That's and so any anybody who they they don't want the, you know, anything else, but just a family. Are you do are you religious? Do you believe in God? I believe in God. I'm not like every day or every Sunday going to church.

I do believe in God. My wife is the one who is kind of more spiritual, more religious than I am. But I hang out with her. Right. OK. Yeah. Mom, dude, I am too. OK. I'm not I'm not setting you up for it. Do you really? Where is he? Why do you let bad things happen to kids?

I'm not that house. So you don't have to worry about it. Please. I I pray every morning. I I'm a big I'm a big believer in some form of religion to have a moral compass. Because I think, yeah, without that, you just you're driving the you're driving the bus yourself. And if you're driving, you're going to smash into shit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So that's great. Now, because you do this clean comedy, but clean comics make more money. Now they do. Yeah. Well, they did back then, too. I think so. Yeah. Whoever stuck with it. Well, Gary Gellman.

You know Gary Gellman? You need to check out Gary Gellman. He's one of the greatest joke writers of my generation. I came up with him out of Boston. He's got so many good, his last couple of specials are just amazing. His great. He's a stand up?

He's a stand up and he was, you know, he's always been clean, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's got great jokes and then literally had a kind of a depression and went into therapy. And I'm not saying anything out of, you know, he got shock treatment, went into a mental institution for a year, went home, quit comedy, became a substitute teacher, came back, wrote a whole hour on depression and his

depression and where it came from. You talk about where does your funny come from? He found out where and he did this amazing called the Great Depression and it was emotional, it was hilarious and he just did another one, his new special, that I just saw. Buddy, look, I love funny. I'm always funny first. But I love a good moment. And I was in tears.

I'm watching this, he cracked me up for 35, 40 40 minutes like a stand-up set and then at one point He had me in blubbering tears where I was like me. I had my wife was patting me on the back. It's okay pussy Yeah, it's okay. I know you had a bad childhood And he's just great. You'd love him. And he would be great at your theater. He'd be fantastic. The challenge will be, would Middle America know who he is?

Most people. Now, you say Middle America. I guess I don't understand Middle America, because I am an East Coast guy and a little bit of the West or upper coast. But Middle America, I guess it's a different world. Very different. So you put you put that person's name on Billboard or on Marquis. OK, well, they know who that is.

I don't know. They're driving. My theater is on the highway. So it's like everybody that thousands and thousands of pressians every day. And if they don't know who that person is, they might be the best in the world. They won't sell it to you. What if we put my face on the thing and we write, and we have you next to him with a bubble and it goes, this is the funniest guy I've ever been around. Go see him.

What a comedian. And then it's my face. Think we'd sell out? No. OK, great. That's another bubble. We'll just get you a pin. We'll get you a pin.

You just keep popping the bubbles. I mean, her face is a bubble popper, too. Every time I look at her, she's disappointed in me. I mean, is this what you did? You brought your cronies, huh? You brought your KGB people. Just to mess with you. I will sit here and make sure American funny men treat you

with respect. By the way, I don't know those people. Oh, that's great. Now I'm frightened. That's great. Bobby, they're for the talent. Oh, yes, I know. Danny, can you leave me alone?

Danny, can you leave me alone? Okay, Danny. Can you leave me alone? Can you stop being a mark? Okay. He's an ass. He's the worst. He's just dumb Anyways, he got me here, you know, he got you know, dude. He got you here. But really, yeah, it's me Oh, I know Bobby. I'll go If you should up in his face was staring at you with his big eyebrows, you'd be like, I'm going to go, OK? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Anyways, dude. So now, let me ask you. This is a thing, because your wife is from the Ukraine. Yes. And this is crazy to me. Yes. The president of Ukraine was a stand-up comedian. Yeah, very funny one was he very okay?

Cuz I it doesn't translate to me because I don't understand the language right I see him running around in a skirt and Doing dances and stuff. It's like it doesn't you know, but I don't know what he's saying. So I don't okay If you saw Robin Williams, yeah, that's the level he was on Yeah, so the Robin could wear a skirt or whatever. I mean, you could be more community crazy guy whatever So if it's taken out of content Then you just kind of go what the hell is that? You don't understand it's like well because you don't know what he was He was and he made a lot of movies too and movies were

Romantic comedies and they were they were he was very much beloved for the whole the Russia loved him as much as as Ukraine did Russian people loved him. Yes. Yes. And now so this must be tough for I mean a Russian people like yeah Because of what's happened. I'm done with you so this must be tough for, I mean, a Russian people like, ah, because of what's happened, I'm done with you? It must be, right? I think he is, he chose to be done with them because it, we don't want to get into this because it's a, it's a, it's a tough concept for Americans to accept because for three and a half years, they've been told that this is, you know,

whatever, you know, and we need to be on on that side. And we nobody understands what Putin wants. We just want what Zelensky wants. And it's there is a balance there that is very sensitive balance because there's like two brothers fighting. OK. And were they friends at one point? Are you kidding me? They were. They're the same.

I speak Russian to my wife is from Ukraine. I hope so. Yeah. And she speaks Russian. Yeah. She speaks Russian. Yeah. So so what Americans don't understand that there is two very distinct countries in one country, Ukraine. It's a Western Ukraine where people want to be Ukrainians and they want to be like in Europe. And there is the other side, Eastern Ukraine, where I grew up,

speak Russian and wants to be friends with Russia. Right. And that's where the tension is. And we're we banking on Ukraine and nobody understands what's going on in the Russian side. Right. So my my wife, her mother is they split up the family. The father lives on the Russian side. Yeah. And, you know, happy there. And the mother stay on the on the on the Ukrainians. Right.

So it's tough. Like, yeah, it's like a family. It's think about this. It's like Republicans, Democrats, the same people. Right. The country used to be united. Yeah. And one said, I hate this guy. Yeah. And the other said, I hate this. You know, and one said one nuts and crazy and are out of their minds.

And the other said was like, hey, man, we're we're we want which one. I have to guess. Is that what you're saying? OK, nice. God bless America. God bless America. What a country. What a country. Well, listen, let's let's do this. Yeah. Danny, Danny, we prepared a very special thing for you. Oh, how sweet. I.

So we want to we want to play a little game with you. Danny, can you introduce this game? That's that really reminds me of KGB interrogation. I really do. The bright lights. And we got a game for you. Yeah, we got a game for you. No, this is the.

Yeah, this is going to be fun. I think it's going to be fun. We don't know. You never know. But here's the thing. You take a risk. OK, so Danny, introduce our game. So because you're a legendary status. Stop saying legend. He hates it. He didn't figure it out. I didn't hate it. I just don't know what it is.

Okay, go ahead, then. We just call him really, really good. Because you're really, really, really good. Nice guy. Nice guy. We gathered some of the great up-and-coming Soviet Russian talent acts, and then we're going to play a game with you. Soviet Russia's Got Talent. Russia's with you. Soviet Russia's got talent. Russia's got talent. Soviet Russia. Soviet Russia.

These people, Soviet Russia. These people are Russian. They have talents and they're going to compete to win. Russia's got talent right here in front of you right now. And you're one of the judges. Oh, wow. I'm one of the judges. I'm the judge. We're the only judges. Who are you ready. Are you ready?

Are you ready? No pressure, right? There's no pressure. Listen, it's not like you writing a written speech to solve the Cold War and keep America from getting nuked, which you did. Thanks, by the way. That was awesome. I appreciate it. Pleasure. Okay, here we go. Oh, wow. Okay.

Contestant number one. This is a game. What is your name and what is your talent? My name is Boris, and what is your talent? My name is Boris and I juggle potato. Of course you do. Potato. And there's only two of them, oh no three.

Potato. Okay Boris show us. Okay. Oh wow. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. It's microphone. It. Whoa. His microphone. His microphone. You're not used to microphones. Oh, no. Quiet juggler. OK, Boris, keep your accent.

Listen, Boris, that was very, where are you from in Russia? There's a forest in the north. In the north. OK. Thank you. I remember where it is. Yes, I know. All right, thank you so much.

Do we judge on him now? Yeah, yeah, you can judge. Give you their opinion on the. I'll go first if you want. Sure. No, you go ahead. Boris, I think that your your your charisma lacking. But in Russia, not a bad thing.

That actually gets you more points. Thank you. Yeah, you're not too peppy. We like that. Okay. The potatoes, a little too fresh for me. I'd like to see a little darker. You know what I mean?

You want them baked? No. You call me fat? No. I didn't want to burst that bubble. We do a new potato every act. Every now? Okay. Well, you change bubble. We do potato every act. Every now? OK.

Well, you change potatoes. Of course. Of course, you got to have fresh. $1.33. Got it. I want to say this. I'm going to say I'm going to give you a three out of five stars.

Three out of five stars. What do you think? So one for each potato. What? Right? Is that what you're doing? Bobby, would there have been more stars if the potatoes had sour

cream and bacon on them? If no, if he didn't hit the microphone and he kept his Russian accent the whole time, he would have had more stars. But he keeps falling into a alternative Brooklyn comic every five seconds.

So what do you think? Boris, as your countryman, I relate to your desire to be in show business. I wouldn't quit your day job yet. No, no, no, it's not. It's just a safety kind of a thing. Because unless you have six potatoes, seven potatoes,

then people go, holy cow, right? It's great. A lot of potatoes. And if you put sour cream on it while you're juggling, this is great. That's really, you might get into a night show or something, yeah. Yeah, what he's saying is step it up, you're Russian.

All right, stop doing the American three potato shit and get some sour cream on eight potatoes. I did not say that. Do some steroids and get the shit going like Rocky IV. You understand me? Thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate it. You're welcome. You're welcome. Come back. So my score would be also three out of five.

Three out of five. Now, how do you say goodbye? Dasvidaniya. Dasvidaniya. Dasvidaniya. I was going to tell you that Dasvidaniya is how you say it. Very good. Thank you. Now you're working. it. Very good. Thank you. Okay.

All right. Danny, let's bring up our next contestant on Russia's Got Talent. Thanks for the music, Danny. Hello. What is your name and what is your talent? Hello. My name is Svetlana Vonina and I am here with potatoes as well, but I saw how you are so mean to my compatriot. So I have brought something else as well.

Okay, what else? Well, don't shoot a potato out of somewhere. I will try this first. Then I will try the second thing. Okay, great. Thank you. What's your name again? Svetlana Vonina.

That's all, that's all. Svetlana Vonina. Have you met a Russian girl before? No, I have not. No, not at the House of Discrete Pleasures. No, you met him. I feel like I've seen him before at House of Discrete Pleasures. OK, I I've never been to the House of Discrete Pleasures. Oh, that's what you say.

Listen, everybody back off one time. And I didn't know his house. I have a coffee cup with my name on it in Russian. Sorry, I am short, but I am mighty, like St. Petersburg. OK. Here we go. OK. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not. Yeah, not. Excuse me? Yes. Whoa. Not. Very good. Yeah, not. Excuse me? Yeah. Yes. OK. Ah. Oh my god. She's like pulling a rope.

Or something she's using. Easy. No. Wait, she's going downstairs. She's going. Oh my god. Oh my god. She's like it.

It's like real stairs there. Oh, my God. You remember this? This the. Yeah, well, I from the discreet pleasure. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. Thank you very much. Why don't you go first this time? Lana, I really appreciate your talent.

Thank you. I am a woman of many talents. I heard. He knows. Yeah, I heard. He knows. And I wish you the best of luck because your mime is second to none. Not, not, not. I don't speak English very well, OK?

Out of the blue. Yeah, out of the blue. So I would probably lose the potatoes. And then the mime and the thing that you did. Keep that. Keep that. Yeah, keep that. And so I'd say four out of five.

Yeah, that's great. Oh, that's very good. Very good. Yeah. Now, I would say lose the potatoes as well. Lose the potatoes. Yeah, you weren't really, you know what I mean? But I would definitely keep the-

What do you mean? You said, you know what I mean, I don't know what you mean Your energy is very aggressive but Russian I know I would keep the Whatever that is I'm gonna give you four and a half stars for making it this big Because she remembered you yeah. Because she remembered you.

Yeah, but she remembered you from the house. She could have been. It could have been right. It could have been like this. She she's delusional. Well, I don't know if that's the right. I don't know if that's the word, but I'm going to say four and a half stars out of five, five. Great job. Great job.

Yeah, great job. Thank you very much. I have this is a fun game. It is a fun game. We have one more. Yeah. Great job. Thank you very much. This is a fun game. It is. It's a fun game. We have one more. We have one more act for you. One more act.

Please come up. Wow, he is definitely Russian looking. Privyet. Privyet. Privyet. Privyet. Okay. What is your name and what is your talent? I am Sergei.

I am a great magician back home in my town of Kiev, Ukraine. Stop. I am the great Russian. Stop, stop. I will make this whole bottle disappear, comrade. Watch with your eyes. OK. Holy cow, he's going to do it. He's going to do it. He's gonna do it. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

And there is no business like show business. There's no business. I know. You're gonna die. I mean, you're gonna die. This is typical for any Russian man. Is it? Would you like some?

No, no. I hope it's water. Pure vodka, my friend. You're so drunk. You're talking weird. I would like a second, please. You have two? Give me two. I'll drink down.

No problem. Is that an encore? I believe another? Give me two. I drink down. No problem. Ankor? Ankor? Is that what it is? I believe I will pass out soon. I can appear, yes? Do me a favor. Just lie down on the couch right there. Lie down right there. We'll give you... Okay. What's your name again? I am the Great Sergei.

Sergei will win this competition, yes? He's the Great Sergei. I am the Great Sergei. Sergei. I'll go first this time. He's the great. I am the great Sergey Sergey. I I'll go first this time if you don't mind. I'm going to say because you're not going to make it through the night. I'm going to give you look at she's looking at me mean dude. She's looking at me.

I'm going to give you four stars out of five. I think the fact that you just drank a whole thing of vodka and stop, you're going to die. I don't have insurance. OK, listen, stop that. No, no, no, no, no. You said you've done enough, Sergey. You've done enough. You really let me smell the bottle.

Well, I mean, can I say something? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I ain't show business or not. I am. OK, it's it's real vodka is vodka. Yeah, yeah. This is this is this is top quality. My mother made back home. Yeah, you have the shirt on. Yeah. You have the jacket. Yeah. Yeah, this is a good ad for that company.

We can do a commercial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they'll be his last commercial. But yeah, we can send the money to his mom in the West side of Ukraine. I am very impressed. How many rubles do I win? Rubles? What do you think?

Let's I think we should give him five star. Wow. Just for the for be able to pour this much whatever it was, into his, I've never seen anybody pouring, have you? No, I want to acknowledge. The house in the street, I saw it. No, I want to do a silver buzzer here, right. You do a silver buzzer?

Silver buzzer, yeah, I do. It's Russia, so it's bronze. You win! You win! Yes! Yes! I go back to Russia a winner! And guess what you win!

You win three potatoes! And right there, bring that back and make a stew for your family. I'll eat my home for many months. Yes. Congratulations. Yeah. All right. There we go. The first episode of Russia's Got Talent. And we have a winner.

That was fun, right? That was fun. Um, so you thought it wasn't going to be. But I mean, thanks for playing. Oh, my God. What a country. what a country. Well, listen, man, you I'm telling you right now, I am so glad you're back around. And it was interesting to me that you said that

Nepe gotsy was the one that kind of inspired it. Very much so. I wrote in the book yesterday in the tonight show book that Jimmy, I guess, reads, whatever. And I wrote, I said, thank you, Jimmy, for helping Nate Bergazzi become a huge star so I can follow his footsteps. That's wild. It is. There's a book. A book.

There's a book. A book. There's a book that you sign. Oh, shoot. Another bubble. Damn it. You're just a bubble. Don't ever go to a kid's party. I mean, I want. I thought everybody gets it.

No, I didn't know the book. They rushed me out of there and gave me a pair of Uggs and told me to beat it. I think Jimmy left the sweater in the room. Dude, I think that's great. And now are you are you are you going to start hitting the road? Are you going to stay?

Are you going to stay in Branson? No. Well, I'm I cut down my schedule to 30 shows a year in Branson. OK, so so I keep keep my place there. However, I do want to get back on tour or do something. But I also I'm trying to find where where is the best kind of a direction for that clean comedy? And when I was in Nashville for a comedy festival, there was that Nate Barghese had like a showcase of his,

the comedians that he endorsed. Yeah. And I was asked to go up and I wasn't prepared or anything. I just went up and and I did 15 minutes and I got staining ovation in the middle of the show. That's great. Which was kind of, you might relate to it, maybe not, because being in Branson made me somewhat uncertain. You know, it's like, can I come out of this bubble, Branson bubble, where I'm safe and

I have people know me and I know them and the whole thing and go out to New York or LA or to Nashville or whatever. So it felt like ugly duckling kind of a story. It's like going, going am I a chicken? Am I a duck? Am I a goose? What am I? And when I got to Nashville and I did this in the in the Ryman auditorium, three thousand people jump on their feet. I'm going, I feel like, you know, I could I belong to that swan family and I didn't know if I could or not. So it was very emotional for me to go.

I'm I'm I'm going to give it a shot. Yeah. I think, buddy, I think it's great. And I love the smooth transition you pull in. And I mean, you're at the cellar doing shows. You're on The Tonight Show. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to go on the road again. You're doing podcasts and you have your own podcast. And now and now I have a new stick.

I can just pour. You can. He can open for you. Yeah, you should bring these three on the road. Yeah, yeah. Two potato jugglers, a mime and an alcoholic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you can pay him in booze, pay him in potatoes and show, you know, she'll do stuff for you. And the House of indiscreet. Listen, brother, thank you so much for coming on.

We're going to run into the questions. We have a, we have a, there is more. We have, we have a couple more minutes. I'm just going to say it like that. We have a Patreon that we do. And it's the fans asking you questions. Okay. Yeah. They, we have the questions for you after this.

If you're not a member of the Patreon, please go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and become a member. And also, if you're on YouTube watching this for free, awesome. Or if you're on Apple and listening to it for free with thousands of you are, just hit the Like button. Hit the Subscribe button.

That's all you got to do. Do us a favor and subscribe, like, and comment. And make sure that you check out all these guys. Guys, what do you got going on? Real quick. Follow me on Instagram, at Danny Braff. Hey guys, you can follow me on Instagram, at Zachary Unlimited, that would be swell.

I've also got a show on June 20th, seven o'clock, Midtown Bear, please come out. Do not break character. The Russians wanna plug their friends. Sure, go ahead, plug your friends. A very good friend, follow him on Instagram at Isaac G. Comedy, thank you. My prostitute friend, the real Tarja Romina,

she is also a comedian, please follow her, thank you. For all patriots and friends of Sergei, please follow at Daniel underscore J underscore Perifan. This man, very funny, check him out. Sergei, he know magic. Wow. Ah, anyways, and you can go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly.

I have one date this summer. You guys, I take the summer off and I spend it with my family. So I am only doing one show in Maine in July and that's it. I will be doing the podcast. I will be doing Bonfire, but no more comedy. I take July and August off. I will be fishing, camping, hiking, and all that stuff with the fam. So I'll be back in September,

if you wanna go to PunchUp.live to see all my tour dates, it's gonna be up there, and I'll be shooting a special later in the year somewhere. I gotta find a new place. I guess I can't do it in Branson. Uh, I should. You don't want to, really. But-

They'll hang you. Where can we see you? What's your website? You don't want to, really. But they'll hang you. Where can we see you? What's your website? It's jakov.com, Y-A-K-O-V.com, and on social media, Jakov Smirnov, on all the platforms. My podcast is called Jakov's Comedy Couch on YouTube or anywhere you can get your podcast. And at this moment, my theater, it's at in Branson, Missouri, if they're there, that's the best place.

So you'll find my schedule on Yakov dot com. And then I have some tour dates in the fall that I don't remember where they are. But you it's all on my website. It's on, are you on PunchUp.live yet? The what? Are you on PunchUp.live? PunchUp.

PunchUp is a new app, a new thing for comedians. Oh, I didn't know that. If you go on there, you put your stuff on there, they actually, you get all the emails and the algorithm and all the stuff and the data of your fans. Wow. So that like, you know, hey, I'm popular over here. I didn't know I was popular in Kentucky

or Maine wants to see me. And women, men, age, you can send them an email right to the thing, PunchUp.live. You should get one. If you're interested, I'll hook you, do it up with the guy who runs it, a great guy. But make sure you check him out. Go watch the clips on Jimmy Fallon.

Get that sucker up there, because those things will blow up. He's hilarious. Go watch his special on YouTube. I saw a bunch of stuff up there. Go see him live and check out his podcast. It's called Comedy Couch. Where do you do that? When or where?

The comedy club called Blue Room in Springfield, which is not far from me. And a lot of touring comedians go through there. You would do... I'd love to do it. If I ever come through there, I'm going to hit you up. Maybe I'll get your number or I have your social media. I'll give you my number, yeah. And then I'd love to come down because I think it's... I love that you're you're you're you're you're going deep into comedy figuring it out I know that's a that's a cool thing is yeah, I mean I joke around a little time, but I really do love that Yeah, yeah, you know I mean yeah, all right, so we're gonna go to patreon right now You guys are the best fans in the world thanks to tune in what a fucking show what a show

What a show and and after the show I'm gonna go to Her little den of decadency. What's it called again? House of Discrete Pleasure. House of Discrete Pleasure. God damn it. Why does it turn that does something for me? I want one of those. We should open up that in Branson.

Not we. Oh, no, don't go. OK, you're right. I'm going to keep you out of my life. You got to go over here. You're a bubble popper. I tell you. We're going to go to Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly right now. We'll see you over there. See you next week. You know what, dude?

All right, what's up, everybody? Patreon, we're here. We're here with the legend. You like, he doesn't like it, but he is. I don't give a shit. You are, dude. What you did and you're still in the game. Like it or not, you are.

Like it or not, you're still killing it. Thank you. And you're still in the game. Like it or not, you are. Like it or not, you're still killing it and you're making it happen. You know what the best part of why you're a legend? You're a really good guy. You're a good person with all the success, all the stuff going on. You're still a good person and that's what makes you a legend. Thank you. Where's my camera? Someone get him a Rich Voss legend shirt.

I know. You know Rich Voss? No. Good. All right. That shirt. I know you know rich boss. No good All right, that's another reason why you're a legend. You know Jim Norton. Yeah. Oh shit. Okay. Well you down a peg Now you're just okay You know, I don't know him well though, do you know how happy you're gonna make Jim Norton that you said no to boss And yes to him. He'll use it as a credit. Yakov Smirnov knows him and not Rich Voss. Okay.

I can't get her out of my head that whole house is indiscreet. Listen, God damn it, I'm so bummed out that it's anyways, Scruffy Bones is his name. What is your best Ukrainian joke? That's a good one. Probably that when I was doing comedy in Ukraine, it was very difficult. Now they make comedians presidents. OK, I like it. That's a good joke.

That's all I got. I mean, you could have gave a little bit, you fuck. I mean, he's your countryman. I mean, Jesus Christ, that's how Russians laugh. Thank God you moved to America. Good joke. I like it. Very funny. That's. Ha ha. You get. Yeah. I hear you know, it's funny, your joke about bread.

Yes. Where is that true that they exchanged you? So explain that. So Jimmy Carter opened the kind of window because the Soviet, Brezhnev was the president in the Soviet Union and they ran out of food. So Americans, they asked Americans for food and Jimmy Carter was the president. He said show some human rights and we'll give you wheat or grain. And so they said, if you let people out of the country who want to get out, we'll give you grain.

So we were basically exchanged for some wheat. Wow. Yeah. And that was, you know, when you when you don't know if you ever can get out, this was a very big deal. You change for a week. Yeah, we. Yeah, that's great. Unbelievable. All right. Riley has a question for you. Yeah. As the crowds different, are the crowds different in Branson versus New York? as the crowds different, are the crowds different in Branson versus New York? I mean, yeah, yeah.

The people in Branson are older and their parents come, they come there and they, the New York crowds are way more sophisticated and it's nothing to say that the, you know, Branson people are not. They're just simpler folks and they enjoy just a simpler comedy. Yeah. And in New York, when you go downstairs here, you just it's cream of the crop of of comedy. So it's a different demand. And if you can do both places, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere pretty much,

because this is as sophisticated as it gets. And it's the world. If you look out in the crowd, the world's in the comedy seller crowd. You got people from, it's a destination place for the world, so it's not just one group of people. There's people from it's a destination place for the world so it's not just one group of people. Yeah. You know there's people from France, Italy, there's people Russians, there's you know Asians, there's Muslims, there's Jewish people sitting right next to each other. Not much of that

in in Branson. Right. It's all kind of one group of people, Midwestern people come there. And they like me. So I'm I like them back. Yeah, great. But coming here and watching the level of comedy here now makes me want to step up and do more. Yeah, they are. It's kind of like, hey, we love you. You're you're there and we're fine. OK. Here you got to climb the ladder. Yeah. Wait till you see my stand up.

You're going to love it. Yeah, I till you see my stand up. You're gonna love it. Yeah, I bet. She just went, ugh. That damn Russian. Is that a Russian face or a no? I like it. I have a question for you. Have you been heckled?

I have been and I learned, okay, one of the reasons I like to have my own theater, I never have been heckled in my own theater. Right. There's no alcohol, so people just came to see comedy. They also came to see me specifically because big letters say Yakov, you know, so they know who they're coming to. So I like that very much. On the other hand, when you go back to the clubs and you get people that are under under

influence. Yeah. It's the you have to get that muscle back to be able to to work the crowd. Yeah, which is again, it's a new challenge for me. And I'm welcoming that. OK. Great. All right. This is from it says man, big beer, but there's nothing. Danny. Oh, shit.

I'll go to the other one. Just get that one and feed it to me after. Dildo Baggins. Sorry about that. That's a real person, right? That's a real person. They just have this creepy. It's kind of cute. What is the highlight of your career so far?

That's a good one. Well, last night was pretty damn amazing with Jimmy welcoming me and standing there for my rehearsal. That's great. That he hasn't done for anyone else. I get it. Yeah. But the career wise, obviously being on the Shani Carson show 40 years ago for the first time,

that was nerve wracking. Performing at the White House several times was very emotional and nerve wracking, but exciting. What was the one? If you had to take one and burn the other ones, what was the one if you had to if you had to take one and then burn the other ones? Was that one thing Reagan? Oh one one the most experience. Yeah, one experience that highlights.

So the highlight of your career so far, you got to lose them all except you keep on. What was the highlight? I would say the tonight show was Johnny Carson first one first one. Yeah, that was it. That was probably the highest anxiety and and thrill that I got in a short period of time, because even with Jimmy, the setup here is different than it was in L.A. So you're standing behind the curtain

and there's another curtain behind you. So you're kind of in a tunnel standing there and and he is about to introduce you. And my heart is just about to fly out of my chest. Yeah. So there is that. Oh, my God, there's 30 million people going to see it. And and then you walk out and you say hi and you get the first laugh and you go, this is amazing, you know. And so that's probably that height and that low

was the most there and would be second, probably would be the White House. White House. Yeah. I mean, it's a man. Man Bear Pig wanted to know, what are the differences between when you did The Tonight Show back with Carson versus now with Valen? They're very similar in some ways, because they are both very kind to a comedian.

They're not here to challenge you or to make you look bad. They want you to look good and they're enjoying yourself Themselves they're like the stand-up. They like laughing while you're doing. Yes. Yeah, and you see him in the background They're going oh my you know, and that's the highest compliment even more than what the audience is doing Yeah, the Carson had that same and what the audience is doing. The Carson had that same same skill set. So I I would say, you know, it's similar experience, similar. OK, yeah, that's great.

I think I mean, I I I never was on Carson, but I remember he was my favorite. I used to watch him all the time and I've watched him more since he's gone. To be honest, I love I just love that era of comedy. I just, it just, you know, when you can kind of say anything with a little tongue in cheek and people got it, nobody got offended. It was just hilarious. And I, when I did, when I did Fallon, yeah, they didn't. He didn't come out during my rehearsal. But. Well, Jimmy might have come out to see if he can even understand what I'm saying.

Right. No, yeah, that's right. So that might be. Yeah. But knowing that you hear I'm trying to patch up the bubbles. Now the bubbles bursted. He but he was laughing and that did you like, man, if he's laughing, I don't. Great. Yeah, it's almost too good of a crowd. When I came out, they were giving you a standing. Oh, when you came out, which fucked my first joke up, because I was like,

because I didn't I thought they were just going to be sitting and I'm just going to come out and I'll get a standing ovation at the end, maybe. But they were like, whoo. And I'm like this because timing. and I'll get a standing ovation at the end maybe. But they were like, whoo. And I'm like, this is because timing. Yeah. You don't send it. You laughs certain levels of laughs. I will forget a punch line if I get a bigger laugh on the setup. I've done that on TV where I got a huge laugh on the setup.

And then I just went right to a tag. I'm like, I missed the joke because they laughed like they laughed at the punch line. Right, right. And you know what I mean? So it's like, so when they came out, they were just like, woo. I was like, hey.

And there was a little blip at the beginning. And I was like, not tonight. There's too many people, all these comics are watching. They want me to bomb. Take a hot one on Fallon has not happened I just went I pulled my nose up I'll tell you a funny story about the Fallon show I did my first tonight my first late night show was on Carson Daly and I you guys remember that Russian people yeah Carson Daly and it was the worst Carson Daly great guy the worst they had Daly, great guy, the worst. They had no warmup guy.

They would do an hour long, long form interview with an actor. Those are fun. Those are fun, right? So where did you, ugh. And then they would always have a crazy band. And the fans were all kids there to see, you know, love, love punks and the chipnucks.

You know what I mean? Whoever the band was. And then they would just bring you out as a comic. No, nothing. So I went out the first time and they had a- It was a big audience. Yeah, nice big audience in NBC. And there was no mic cord, it was a cordless mic. I am used to working, I do this.

I do what I have to mic. So, you I do I do this. I do. Right. I have to. Mike. Yeah. So, you know, I do this and I stretch it out. And if a joke. I have these. So I'm sitting there. I don't have no micro. I'm bombing. I'm bombing out the gate. So I just start going like this. Like I have a mic cord.

I'm just doing this. I can't. I don't know. I'm doing it. It's similar to what she was to. But hers was hers was bigger. I don't know. I'm doing it. It's similar to what she was to you. But hers was hers was bigger. Mine was actual size. And I came off and I knew I bombed and I came back and my agent was like, what the fuck is this? I go, what do you mean?

He goes, you kept going like this, like you're jerking guys off. I'm like, I don't know. So I do it again. I'm doing I'm doing it again. I'm like, I'm not I'm not doing this. I go back. I bomb again on the same show months later. And I start going like it again. I'm doing I'm doing it again. I'm like, I'm not I'm not doing this. I go back. I bomb again on the same show months later. And I start going like this again. So when I do the Tonight Show, I go, I need a cordless accorded mic. And then like what we don't I go, I need a corded mic.

And they didn't like he didn't tell me who that was. Right. But I asked him, I said, do you have cord mic? And he goes, no, but sometimes comedians ask for it. And we had to like find the cord. Yeah. And and hook it up. The guy walked up to me. Who does it? He goes, I haven't put one of these in in 16 years. And I go, yeah, well, I'm not bombing and doing this.

And he didn't know what I was talking about. So I I had it because I needed that cord. Yeah, I'm not jerking. I'm not bombing and doing this. And he didn't know what I was talking about. So I had it because I needed that cord. Yeah, I'm not jerking. I'm not jerking off air again. All right, we got one more. Ready? Yeah. All right, here we go. And you're done. And by the way, just so yesterday, they had cue cards that Michael Cox asked me to give him kind of bullet points

so they can have. Yeah. Cue cards. Yeah. And and during the run through, it messed me up. Really? Yeah, because my brain was like split. I I don't need the cue cards because I know what I'm doing. So when we finished, I said, please, no, no cue cards. And the guy who does cue cards, that's his job. Yeah. Right. He's going, OK, I'll just sit there just in case.

I said, you can sit wherever you want. I need to feel the crowd. Yeah. You need the crowd. And they're up there. Which is different. Exactly. So, yeah, I did the same thing. The coup cards. I didn't I didn't look. I had bullet points, but it's great that you have them But but it was distracting for me, but they gave to you Jimmy signed them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah home phone number Yeah, no cuz he oh he didn't

Bubble a bubble is being burst right now Inside of either Eduardo did you invent smirnoff to drink? The bubble is being burst right now. He didn't give me his own. Oh yeah. He didn't sign him either. Eduardo, did you invent Smirnoff to drink? No, but I have samples in my car. Really? Yeah. Are you a big vodka drinker? No.

Okay. I don't drink. You don't drink? No. Neither do I. Yeah, I drink water. Yeah. Did you ever do drugs or drink?

Not really. I mean, I would have a couple of drinks like in the clubs when I started out, I drink water. Yeah. Did you ever do drugs or drink? Not really. I mean, I would have a couple of drinks like in the clubs when I started out, but I never got into any, I didn't smoke pot. I didn't do any cocaine. How did you avoid that? You lived with, you lived with what, Robin Williams and Sam Kenison and hanging out with Richard Pryor in the days.

And how did you avoid it? You know, it's probably my upbringing was like, I couldn't understand, I didn't know why people do that. So I never really got high or, you know, I didn't need it. And when I saw it, you know, like after doing the young comedian special with Rodney Dangerfield, I walked in to say thank you to him. And Sam and him are sitting there at the table. And there is like, you know, like a mountain of cocaine.

I was like, oh, thank you. And they go, come on in. We have plenty. I like, oh, thank you. Really? And they go, come on in, we have plenty. I go, no, thank you. And so I never been tempted. And I would do funny, you know, I mean, living there, you might not know Argus Hamilton. He is a comedian at the Comedy Store, and he was one of the roommates.

He used to do a lot of coke. And I didn't understand what they were doing because I lived in this crazy house and I would come in the morning and look at the table and there's a mirror there. And I'm like, I'm going, why? And there's white powder on it. And and and I knew that Pryor was there and Robin and you know and I'm

going they like donuts and they eat them off the of the mirror and yeah so I would literally I'm not I'm not exaggerating this is crazy I would just wipe it off oh my god when I would hang hang it on the on the on the wall and I would next day, I was like, oh, yes, you were here. Right. Last night is here. I go, why don't you use plates? And he goes, I go, well, there was white powder and they would just laugh and nobody would want to tell me they just played the joke for a long time. You're just throwing away thousands of dollars.

Well, it was not much. I mean, it was just powder. Yeah. And I'm going, OK. Wow. Yeah. Well, there you go, bro. Thanks for sticking around and answering these questions.

Thanks for coming on the show. Make sure you check him out wherever he is and go see him if you're going through Branson, if he's around and check out his podcast. And you guys are the best fans in the world. I really appreciate you coming on. What a fun time this was, man. I will hopefully see you soon, yeah?

I hope so. All right, thank you. You guys are the best. We'll see you next time. You know what, dude?