Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #596 | Fabrizio Copano | Chilean National Anthem

Episode Date: July 20, 2025

This week on YKWD Fabrizio Copano joins the pod to discuss the difference between comedy in America vs. ChileSupport the show and start your free online Hims visit athttps://www.hims.com/YKWD Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live. Welcome, everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day where it all started before them all. YKWD.

This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, how are you I'm ruining this. Where's the barbana, man? Sorry, it's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show?

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studies of topical or oral minoxidil and finasterstride. Prescriptions required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. What's up everybody? I got an ice cube in my mouth. I took a sip at the wrong time. I apologize. It's, fuck.

I mean, come on guys. Who was that? That was me. What'd you do? Knocked over a flashlight. A flashlight or a flashlight? Both. All right, a flashlight? Both. All right, I can accept that.

It's YKWD, you know what, dude, the longest running East Coast podcast. One of the first, I was the first one to do it and let people know, you know what? You can do this, and now look how fucking awesome they all are. But we'll still here, above the Comedy Cellar Studio, where it all started, kind of, and at the Comedy Cellar, the above the Comedy Cellar studio, where it all started, kind of,

and at the Comedy Cellar, the world famous Comedy Cellar. We have, I mean, this show, a lot of people have comics, they're friends, and blah, blah, blah. I like to get new guys on, people I don't know, people I wanna know, people I think you guys should know, and that's one of these shows. We've never met, but it's a very interesting story

and one that I wanna get into right now. So Danny, who do we got? We have straight off his first English comedy special called From the Future, we have Fabrizio Capano on the show today. Fabrizio Capano, first of all. Hi, man. Strong name. Hello, how are you? I know, I know. People always double check with me. It's like, this is the way to say it. And I'm like,

I don't care. Well, when you came in, I was, I don't want to say disappointed. What were you expecting? Like an old Italian man? That's what you were expecting? I was expecting like Zorro or... You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah, I have a name that, yeah. Yeah, you should have a... I can't live up to the name, man. Yeah, well, you have a name. I mean, I thought you were gonna come in and your beard was gonna be full but shaven.

I can't have a beard. This is me trying really hard, meditating for hours. I thought you would do this a lot, right? Like flip your hair back. Like Fabio, you were thinking about Fabio? No, not Fabio, But more like, you know, I don't know. Like a man? Like a real man? That's what you're trying to say? Buddy, no, you came in, you're very petite.

I'm a small man. I'm a woman. I'm actually a woman, I say. In some countries. Fabrizio. What did you name again? In some countries. Fabrizio. What was your name again? Fabrizio. Fabrizio Popano. I was expecting Zorro. I mean look at him. Anthony Banderas or something. I should be wearing that outfit every single day. You should wear it.

And we now stand up like that. That would be great. But you're from Chile. Now Chile is, I believe, a country. No, I know. And a restaurant. We are owning both, man. Baby, baby, back ribs.

But my five year old kid is upset with obsessed with that song now. But because they loves chili, because it brings them back home. It's just like, baby, baby, I want my baby back. That's not even chili food. No, I know. Makes no fucking sense, baby, I want my baby back there. That's not even chili food. No, I know. Makes no fucking sense. No. He's obsessed with this, son.

No, I believe where the killer, the Ruben killer, went to Chile and killed somebody there. Am I correct? Like in his international tour? Like part of his? He was a touring murderer, which is the new thing. Comedy's dead. Now you have to kill people. I mean, there's a thing with TikTok, like you can find different audiences for killing. No, Van De Sleut. Remember Van De Sleut? I don't know this man. Who is this?

How old are you, dude? I'm 36. Okay. No, you should know him. He murdered the girl, the white girl in Aruba. Okay. Big thing. One of Patrice O'Neill's greatest jokes. He went, you, I think I remember this now. Yeah. Like you guys are racist. Who's that white girl that, uh, he murdered and they were like, uh, Van, uh, Holloway, right? And he's like, who's that bitch from Chile? And they were like, I don't know. Nobody knows. But I think he killed somebody down there. Am I right? You should be, I'm vamping when I talk about this so you can Google it. That's how it works now, that's how podcasts work. Zach's Googling it. Alright, when Zach today, I mean he's from Chile,

he's going back tomorrow to his country. I have to. Really? They just figured out that I'm not from here. I'm gonna have three. And this is, ICE is waiting for me outside. That's how it works now, no? Now you're from here, now here's the thing

that people don't know about you. You're massive. In a small country. In your country. Yeah. You're massive in your country. Yeah. You're massive. Like you're, let's not say. El Soro.

No, you're not, you're like as popular as Louis CK. Yeah, yeah. Not for the same reasons, but close enough. He almost got me laid in Florida. Not yet, not yet. I'm working on it. But no, I'm... This is the thing. It's like in Chile, there was no comedy scene.

So me and my friends, we went to a tango club. A what? A tango. Yeah. I love the tango. And tango on the first floor, second floor, this tiny room. It was perfect for comedy. And we started there.

We started there with two other friends. When did you do that? I was 16 in 2006, six I think, or seven. Now you start doing comedy, but does it translate in Spanish? Like tell me one of your Spanish jokes. Let me see if it works. Oh, okay.

Look at me and tell me, I'm your audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just tell a little. I'm gonna tell no one, like from the first batch of jokes that I have. Yeah, good, good, good, good, good. Ready, look at me. Oh, okay. Hey. I have to make eye contact, the hot the first batch of jokes that I have. Ready? Look at me. Oh, okay. I have to joke for you.

For you. For you. When I once read about a cement bank. And my first question was, how can you ask for a credit in a cement bank? You can have a cement account. And in that case, you can go in an automatic bank account. Okay. Is that enough? It's working. Fucking, you got one tomato. They jokies. You got one tomato.

It's so wild to me. Now do the joke in English. I mean, the punch line is impossible to translate, but I'm going to try. Okay, good. So the joke, this is one of the first jokes that I worked for me. And it was like, I read about like a bank of sperm. Yeah. And I was trying to ask for sperm bank.

I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank.

I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank. I was trying to ask for sperm bank the first jokes that have worked for me, and it was like, I read about like a bank of sperm, and I was trying to ask for credit. Sperm bank. Yeah, we do that, you do it backwards.

Who is right? We're right. I think we're right. We're right. Paddy, we showed up, you guys are going on Oonga Boonga. But on the other side of Europe. Watch Apocalypse, though. We were the shit.

I know, I know. I thought the commentary changed my mind about my people. It's English. I know, okay.. I thought documentary changed my mind about my people. It's English. I know. I said unga bunga like this. You guys were fucking. That's actually, yeah, that's the name of my mom. You guys were an empire before anybody.

Go ahead. We have some shit going. You have some history. And then there was wipe out. And we wiped you out. Listen to the thing. Well, you wiped yourself out with disease. That's true.

That's true. ETSs. So I, the joke is about like a sperm bank or bank sperm, no, sperm bank. And it's about asking for credit. I like bank sperm. Bank sperm is better. Bank sperm for America.

Yeah. And it's about asking for a credit. And then ATM in Chile, instead of called ATM, is called Cajero Automático. Which means Rob Person at Bank. Exactly. No, it means ATM. Okay.

And this is like, it's a pun about like, bajero, means like jerking off. Okay. In the bank. In the bank. So you're jerking off in the ATM. It's not a great joke, but this is my first joke. This is your first joke. I'm proud of it, you know?

Do you want to know one of my first jokes? Come on, please. If you're opening up, I will. Yeah. What's this? I don't know. What is that? It's me making my coffee. And then I would take the packet out, the sugar packet out,

and I'd do that. That was your first joke? Yep. Well, I don't like it. Hey, man, yours was about jerking off into a fucking out anchor. I'm not judging. I'm not judging, but that jookey not gonna work in my country.

Didn't work in my country. So yeah, we started there. It was a lot of fun. And now there's a huge comedy scene and there's a bunch of- You started it. Yeah, me and my friends, we were the first group. And then you have now, I don't know, like Neil Brennan went, and there was a show, Fred Armisen went there once.

Right, so it's alternative a little bit, I would say. I mean, I think now it's this every kind of color, but... It seems to me, it's like, look, first of all, I apologize for this drink. It's so weird. I don't know, he got you some... It's like... What is that? A pee. Who

peed in his... I mean, listen man. If you don't want me here, don't bring me a cup of pee. He fucking voted for Trump. Okay. And he was like, this motherfucker's coming on. Can you come over here? Zach, come over here. Zach, come over here Zach come over here Zach come over here Zach apologize to him he can vote he's that it cuz you thought he was Asian that it you racist bastard it's the fucking south I mean me as a Mexican I don't need a green tea no you don't need a I don't know necesito el te verde I get him a raspberry splitsitsa blast. Yeah, just whatever with sugar.

Yeah, something. All right. No, I'm good, I'm good. So you down there, you started this thing and all of a sudden, now, when did you know that you onto something? Right away, man. Really?

Because we started selling out, it wasn't even the first show. So people were like, oh, this shit that is going on in New York and, you know, these development countries is coming to town. So let's go. You know, it's a that America.

Yeah. It kind of like a pretty McDonald's is going to work. Now, is Chile? What? What? What's the economy in Chile? Is it really stable? It's stable.

Have some weird momentum. Like, is it dangerous? Like I went to Rio. It was. Don't go there. Don't go to Rio and don't go there don't go to the I had a lot of fun No, it's a lot of fun. I know but it's like is it you know, it's boring Really? You know Chile's like if all these other countries are wild and crazy and their economy is going to the toilet Yeah, it's like we're stable. We're clean. Yeah, we're boring as fuck right here We're stable, we're clean, we're boring as fuck. Come here, build some shit. And watch some comedy about jerking off at a bank.

Exactly, that's all we can offer. Right. You know? Yeah. So that's that sort of thing. So you start this comedy thing and it immediately takes off. I mean it took a while but then we had a TV show and that's what makes it cool.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we got a Chilean? We have a Chilean. Is that where the sea bass comes from by the way? Yes. It is? Yes, yes, yes, but I didn't know it was famous since when I get out everyone was like, oh you're from that country with the sea bass.

I was like, I've never tried it there, but yeah, it looks like. So you have a Chilean, how do you say it? Chilean. Oh say it again. Chilean. Chilean. Yeah. Got say it? Chilean. Say it again. Chilean. Chilean. Yeah. Got it.

Chilean television show. Yeah, me and. Is that a big thing? Oh yeah, everyone watch TV in those poor countries because it's the only thing you can do. So how many channels do you have? No, we have four. You have four channels,

and this is on one of the biggest ones? Yes. So is it the same thing as here? Like you have to pitch to pitch it sell it or film it and then give it to them Or we were doing like a group was doing a version of in cable and then they jumped to broadcast TV and that was like a the proof of concept and Once again, it went like massive right away. And that's where like everyone start talking. Are you on it? Are you writing it? I was on it, I was writing it. It's your show.

It was not my show, it was kind of like an SNL-esque, like I mean it's like a humble past. Right, but you're part of it. And I was part of it. You make your money on the show. I was making some money, I was starting touring, you know, like during the weekends. In Chile.

There was no infrastructure, so we went to like churches and bakeries and doing shows in, I don't know, like discos at night. There's no comedy clubs. There was no comedy clubs. So we were into like churches and bakeries and doing shows in, I don't know, like discos at night. There's no comedy clubs. There was no comedy clubs. So we were just going everywhere and that's the way I build my shit. So you're building this thing up in the last,

how many years, 10 years? Yeah, a little bit more, 15. 15 years you're building this. You're on TV right away, your show's a hit, you're working on it and you become a massive hit. Now, are you touring by it, and you become a massive hit. Now, are you touring by yourself, selling out arenas? We were doing group shows with all the three comics.

That happened a lot in Latin America. You just put it in an ensemble and just go and everyone do like 20 minutes of stand-up. Is it like Spanish radio where there's like a DJ on stage? Rapa-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da I would love that that was the way. Way sadder. This is chilly, it's boring. Yeah, we don't want people dancing. So no, it's kind of like a showcase, but like all the same comments.

What's the biggest crowd you performed in front of? 8,000 people? Well, 13,000 people in another, yeah. For you only or for you and the group? No, for me only 8 for you in the group no for me only 8,000 so you you can sell 8,000 tickets in your homeland yeah yeah and you're killing it and I was doing are you a star the people know you people know me people wow so if we go to Chile I wish it and I go with you yeah I'm

you I want to be treated like I'm like fucking king, man. Like a king because of you. Everyone's gonna be sucking your dick. In every corner. I got a date because of you. I was in Florida and I matched with a Chilean girl on Tinder. And she went to my Instagram and I had a poster of the show I had with you coming up and she lost her shit. And then we ended up making out. Danny's nickname is Long Story...Breath? Holy shit shit dude.

What the fuck? I mean, we were sitting through that, my eyes were hurting. I was living through that story. And then? And then? And then? So this is you. That's me.

Now those are all there to see you. Are you a sit down guy? Not always. Oh, okay. Sometimes. I didn't mean to say it like that. No, no, no. What about you?

No, I don't sit down. You don't like to sit down? No, I move around. Do you think that's gay? Do you think sitting down is kind of like a gay thing? No, dude. Some of the best comics sit down. I mean, we're sitting down right now.

No, I know. The gayest thing we're doing is right now. I have two men. I have tone issues. And no, Patrice sat down, Big J sits down. No, I would not be able to sit down. I've sat down on certain circumstances because of, you know, I wasn't feeling good.

Diabetes? No, because I wasn't feeling good. But no, I just don't sit down. I gotta move around. I gotta pace. I gotta pan through the stage. I can't sit down. But this is amazing, I gotta pace, I gotta pan through the stage. I can't sit down, but this is amazing, man. Now, you got all this, you're a superstar.

You're killing it. I was doing well. And then you leave. And then I left. And you come to the hardest city in the world to do comedy. Yeah, yeah. Now, do you have a whole team behind you?

Do you set up a thing? No, I was more instinctive. I went to, I mean, I fell in love with a woman and... American woman? Yeah, from Texas. You fight white chick? Yeah. Wow. It's like the whitest woman you can meet. How's her dad taking it? Uh, he's dead. Uh, so he's dead. He died because he saw it? I mean, he died before because he was not ready. Yeah, bring him in. Where is coming fucking Mexican. He's from Chile Oh, he's small is a fucking tick-tack

I was expecting for this sorrow. I wanted a big motherfucker. No, this guy's mighty mouse Here I come to save the day she have a stepdad Yeah, he's cool with it. Is he Spanish? No, I don't know right from his future. He's from Kentucky. Oh, no shit Are you sure he's okay with He's cool with it? Is he Spanish? Yeah, very cool. No, no, no. He's from Kentucky. Oh no shit, are you sure he's okay with it? He's okay because he's really old, so. Right, I can't see it. No clue what's going on.

He's like Joe Biden. Why does he keep doing that little weird accent? So you meet her, like in Chile? No, in Mexico. You met her in Mexico. Yeah, we fell in love in Mexico. You fell in love, like the first time you saw her? I was right at like this.

All right, where did you meet her? I met her in a bar, in a mezcal bar. Why is she, what? Oh, the tequila bar. Yeah, it's another kind of alcohol that I think is a little bit better than tequila. Have you ever tried it? No, I don't drink. I just do.

You don't drink? No, I don't. Oh man, you're gay. You told me this. You're sitting down, not drinking. You're gay for sitting down. I'm gay for not drinking. We're both gay for loving this conversation.

For the sake of this podcast. So I don't understand how you fall in love with her right away. I just knew it because she... You walk in, she's at the bar what happened? This is it. She was married. You piece of shit. I know. I know. Wow. Look how I look. I don't look like a man who can do that. No, you don't. Maybe you look like a man that would have it happen too. Maybe I have a massive dick. No, you don't. Okay, thank you.

You don't. You know what you do have? You got charisma. I have some. I can pull it off. Yeah, you know what you are? You're sneaky. I'm a sneaky motherfucker.

No, you're sneaky cute. Everyone call you sneaky cute. Are we falling in love right now? What have you? We both dump our wives and we move to Chile and I just let you fucking. I love these like weird. Oh man, we got a panel. No one was expecting this new start for Bobby Kelly. We tour the country as a couple. The gayest couple. We got a reality show. I love it. Yeah. We can pitch this to Bravo tomorrow morning.

Call it hello. Means nothing. Please. Yeah, please. Yeah, yeah. I've been doing Duolingo, dude. You've been doing Duolingo? Yeah, fucking try me out. Go ahead. Donde esta la biblioteca? Man, why you gotta do that shit?

What? Why, man? Donde esta du fucking liquor? I ain't licking your fucking donde esta. I don't know what you're saying. No, donde esta. I'm having a stroke or you're having a stroke? I'm confused.

Say it again. Say it a little slower. I'm having a stroke. I'm having a stroke. I'm having a stroke. I'm having a stroke. I'm having a stroke. I'm having a stroke. I'm having a stroke. I ain't licking your fucking don't de esta. I don't know what you're saying. No, don't de esta. I'm having a stroke or you're having a stroke.

I'm confused. Say it again. Say it a little slower, though. Donde esta la biblioteca? Lo bibi? Donde esta la biblioteca? La teca. La biblioteca.

I don't know. I don't know what is it. Don't de esta. Where's the library? Where's the library? Why would you fucking bring that? You think I'd go to the library? You son of a bitch. You nerd. You had to bring up books, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't,

don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't El próximo fin de semana tengo un show en Chile. We should do a show in Chile. No, next weekend I have a show in Chile. That's what I said. You're gonna do a show in Chile. That's what you say?

That's what I said. Okay, Duolingo's working. Okay. Well here's the problem with Duolingo, at some point you just gotta go talk to Spanish people. Yeah. You just gotta go watch Spanish stuff. And then it will start to click in

because it's pissing me off. I'll tell you what makes me mad about Duolingo. The little fucking cute thing. The little animal. Is mad at me the second I stop. No, he's annoying as fuck. He's a bad little animal. And he's like, he's too pushy.

You know, it's like, let me learn. As soon as you do a lesson, he's like, are you ready for the next one? See you tomorrow. And then he starts getting sad face. It's like, you're disappointed already? I just got a fucking great score. And he's like, dude, I have family.

I have friends. I can't be with you all day learning about like, azúcar. I'm telling you, look at him right now. Look at this little piece of shit. Look how sad he is. Man, he's really disappointed at you. I have fucking nine hours left till midnight. I mean, I don't know I feel like yeah I hate it and why isn't that your phone like right away? Like I don't have it like I want to learn Spanish, dude You really want to learn I want to learn it so bad. Why because I like South America

I want to go to South America more. I took with Louis once like you want to do shows in Spanish Yeah, yeah, he's Mexican. I think so. Yeah, Thomas. You grow does shows in Spanish. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I don't want to do shows in Spanish I just want to go and learn you want to learn I want to be able to learn I want to be business for I want to go down there and yap to people Okay, you know get food and hang out and have them not have to deal with my bullshit I wanna be able to go and talk. For the sake of learning, not for business. I wanna go down there and yap to people. Get food and hang out and have them not have to deal with my bullshit. I wanna go down there and not be taxing on the people.

You know what is the thing? When someone from an English speaker country goes to Latin America, people are very patient with them. The opposite here. If your English is not perfect, people are like, just move on, and they don't make eye contact. We're like, oh, you're trying, and we're happy that you're trying.

Here, people are like, no, and just like, learn my language. I didn't understand a word you fucking said. Why don't you get it together? What? I mean, this is bullshit. No, I don't know. I mean, yeah, I mean, well, I mean listen the other countries their second language is English

Everybody knows everywhere everywhere. I go everywhere. I've been except for Japan who will like go fucking suck an egg Yeah, bro. You're like the second language a third language is English I mean like the billboard yeah, because we conquered the whole world I mean and now you're unconquering. Like, you guys are unconquering us, you piece of shit. Just stop unconquering. Yes, stop. But you kill it down there.

You become successful, but it's still, there's something that you wanna be, well, you wanna be worldwide, right? When I was a kid and I started watching comedy, my favorite comics, first of all, they were all working in this club. They were working here at the cellar. They were like, I mean, in the Louis TV show,

they were like, I don't remember watching that comedian documentary from Seinfeld. And I was like, that's the world I want to be in. And when I kind of accomplished most of my goals there in Chile, I was like, where else am I supposed to go more than trying to be the NBA, you know? Like if you're a basketball player, you wanna play where the best ones are playing.

Take another sport. Okay, this is like, That's what was too tall for you. The chess, let's talk about you. Yeah, chess is good. You know, the chess masters. I chess is good. You know the chess masters. I'm trying to follow you on this, but basketball players, and you had to do this, you had to look up, I don't like that.

I think. Highlight. What about highlight? Okay, okay. I think any sport in the world have their best probably in one area of the planet, and if you're a soccer player, you want to play in the European league. But you're right, but area of the planet. And if you're a second player, you wanna play in the European league. But you're right, but here's the thing. If I was making the money you were making in Boston,

and that is the thing, a lot of guys in Boston never left Boston because they made a great living. They made a lot of money and they were a king, they were a big fish in a small pond. And then it's a big risk to go become a small fish in a big pond. When you come to New York, you're really taking a chance. Okay, so you gotta get in at these clubs, you gotta stay in at these clubs,

and then you gotta progress around the country and tour, and then you gotta keep it going where people are starting to get to know you. Yeah. You know, now- Maybe this was a bad idea, now I'm thinking of- Coming to New York. Yeah, maybe.

No, I think it's just like, is my, first of all, I accomplished all of this very young. You know, so I was like, I wanna die here, like just doing the same tours over and over again. Right. And then also, I really wanted to be here, and I don't, I don't care, I never care about being like a small fish in a big pond because I still

feel big because I'm doing it here, you know? In a weird way my brain. I'm a big man. I'm a big woman in a small shopping mall. So, so dude you made money, you bought a house, you got stuff back there, right? Yeah. Is your family back there? My mom and yeah. She must be losing her mind how big her son became. I don't think she cares. She doesn't give a shit.

No, I don't think she cares. Really? Because that's like parents, like they don't care that much. Yeah, you're right. But parents are just kids. Right, but did you get her anything? No.

Nothing. I mean. You didn't buy her a fucking house? No, I'm suing her. I'm taking away shit from her. You know, I'm using this money for a bunch of lawyers to take this woman down. Why? What did she do?

Well, I mean, I didn't want to be born. You know, I didn't ask for this. I... Sorry, so you didn't get your mom a car? A fucking tomato plant? I gave her a car once, and she sold it for drugs. She sold it, but she sold it. This fucking woman! What's wrong with her?

I mean, Jesus Christ, is this her? Oh my gosh, she's at my house. She's robbing my house. Are you a cartel? What the fuck's going on? I mean, we're here to take your jobs, man. You're not, we're not worried about Chile, people. I know, no one cares. That's what I love about it.

It's like, they don't even know where is it. Like people don't even think about Chile. It's a perfect place. No, except for the murderers of Natalie Holloway. 20, 30 years ago. Yeah, one Chilean girl that got fucking murdered down there by. You know, we're famous for? Yeah, Chile. You remember this Chilean miners, man?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, those guys. What do you bring it up? Are you going to bring it up? So we can't read it? Read it. Julio Perez Silva. Read it.

What is that? Psychopath of Altus Picio. Oh, I know this story. What is this? Psychopath of Altus Picio. Oh, I know this story. What is this? Rea... The murderer you were asking for. In the microphone, dumb dumb.

It was the murderer you were asking for. No, this is not him. Are you sure? No, this is story in Chile. I know this story. No, okay. First of all, no. I said he's from Aruba and I said his name. Uh... Aruba? This is your team?

Yeah, this is my team. But Zach, is that your name? Yes. He's been here for like a week or two. How long have you been here, Zach? This is my second day. No, serious. How long? Uh, since January. Okay, yeah. He's just like... He's on a curve. Um, it's Vlugenslot

of some shit. Aruba kills American Girl and Chilean girl. That's how you type it in. Bring it up. Should we wait in silence? No, we've been vamping for three hours. This fucking chooch. No, let's put some pressure.

Let's just wait in silence for him. Here we go, Jordan Vandiffert. All right, you remember this guy? Oh, look at my head. Now where does it say the Chile? Where's Chile's involved in this? Now, where is it? Augusta.

Peru. Right here, Peru, sorry, wrong one. You're fucking racist. You did it again. Look at, that's not my country. Look what you did. You get me involved in something. You got me canceled, Zack.

Is that what you want? You got me, I got this fucking little Chilean jockey is gonna take me out. You know how much money he's got? He's suing his mom. You don't think he's gonna sue me? You don't think he's gonna sue me? Look how fucking angry he is.

Well, Peru is right next to Chile. It's the same thing. It's a lovely place. It's the same thing. We're not the same. What's the difference? What's the difference? We're from Boston.

What do you got? Fucking they fry their plantains, you mush them. What do you do? What are you doing? Well, yeah, we're from Boston. What do you got? Fucking they fried their plantains, you mush them? What do you do? What are you doing? Well, yeah, well, I mean, we're pretty much the same people, but they're like slightly browner than us. Oh. That's how countries works in Latin America.

Oh, okay. We're just like, oh. So you guys like. It's like micro racism. Really? Are you guys like lighter? I think Argentinians are like lighter. Are you guys whiter?

What? I said lighter. Whiter. Lighter or whiter? I said lighter. Wider. Lighter or wider? Wider. I said lighter. Are we lighter? Are you wider?

I know what you're doing. I'm saying lighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you guys wider? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're slightly lighter. Wider. Blancos.

Blancos. Blancos. The Blancos. Blancos. Si. But the Argentinians ones, those pricks. Really? They think they're Europeans. Right. They don't make eye contact with us.

No shit. No, they think they're better. So South American people don't like each other. Every country in Latin America hate each other. Why? Because that's how history has been written, you know? Like little wars between one thing and the other. So they like, this is my country and this is your country. And like, that's where we are right now.

Now is Peru and Chile, they fight each other? They're not like each other? For a while. Really? Because they team up with Bolivia and we have a war against them. Like the two of them against us, you know, like the tag team.

Tag team. With chairs and shit. And like, yeah, Mexican wrestling. Exactly. Right. But we have like five little midgets that just fight back. Do you guys have an army? Do you have like- Of course we have an army. But is it good? We have a great army.

Is it good? Dude, we have a great army. You know when a guy says, it's great. It's a great army. Like it's so cute says, it's great. It's a great army. Like it's so cute. I got the baddest fucking army in the world, motherfucker. I saw your parade the other day. Not a great parade in terms of parades.

No, I don't think. That was his parade. Don't fucking put that on us. He really did throw a Hitler bash. Yeah, but you know, like if you want to do that, like bring the atomic weapons, you know? Show the Iranian, man. Show me the Iranian.

So dude, I'm interested in this move. Are you married by the time you make this decision to come here? No. You're living with her though? Yeah, we're like. Is she down there with you? No.

She's up here. She's literally here with, we live here in the city. But where did you guys hook up and decide to live together? Mexico, and then we moved to LA. Oh, so you went to LA for what? Four years. I mean, to learn English, actually. Really?

Yeah, I mean, to kind of learn a little bit how to do my jokes in English, how to step by step step start building a set. I do all the, I went to open mics. It kind of start from scratch. And I had to like figure out English because I didn't know how to speak English at the time. And then I moved here, I was ready.

And I feel like that was a good transition. Now did you save up a bunch of money to do that? Or did you live in Squala like the rest of us? I burned a lot of those savings during those years years but also like once in a while I went back make like a crazy tour get all this money from a poor country and spend it in the richest country on earth you know? I just move wealth from the poor to the rich. You're a piece of shit. I just sue my mom, take her down, take all her jewelry and sell it in Times Square. Jesus Christ.

That's my system. Usually you did the reverse of all immigrants. Most immigrants come here and then send it back to the country. You're like, let me suck the resources from Chile and bring it to LA. That was my plan. That was my plan and it works perfectly. So now you move out of LA. Why do you move out of LA?

Because I didn't like it that much. Why? It's not the best for comedy. You didn't stick out as much? I really wanted to be in New York. Yeah? Yeah. I wanted to be here.

Why? Because here is where stand up is from. And I think this is the best scene in the planet and it's the most dynamic one. It's like they won't have more comics and different voices and I love it. I just wanted to be there. Now did your wife, was she okay with that? Kind of, I mean she went to NYU.

So she was here before. Is she in the biz? Yeah, she worked for a company. Well does she like? She works, she have a job. In the biz? I don't know the company. Yeah, she works. In show business? In show business. She works in she have a job. In the biz? I don't know the company. Yeah, she works.

In show business? In show business. She works in show business. But she's not, she's not a man, she's a movie producer. TV and movie producer. Your wife is a movie producer. It's a movie and TV producer now. A movie and TV producer.

Movie and TV producer. Well isn't that fucking lucky? I'm not even a man. Can you imagine? Like all that I accomplished. I mean what the fuck? With this structure, with this bonus structure.

I mean look, I married an esthetician. My chick pops zits. Fuck, I should have looked for a movie producer. God damn it, I suck. You're still married? Yes. How many years? Uh, going on 18 years.

Oh nice, man. Known it for 30. People clap at this moment in comedy shows. You know? Like people go like, yeah. Not married people. Oh yeah. That's weird.

In Latin America people don't clap that much. Those kind of things. Well. People here is like, I have a kid. Hey. In your town. Here in New York. Oh they love that shit.

No in Chile no, they don't care. They don't care. I have a kid. Okay. Oh you have one kid, they're like, why you have eight kids? I don't know why it's in Mexican. You have to have more kids, that have a kid. Okay. Oh, you have one kid. They're like, why you have eight kids? I don't know why I turned Mexican. You have to have more kids.

That's the law. Right. Well, all right, let's get on track here. Sorry. You move, it's okay. You move there. You're living with your girl. Yeah.

And then you decide to marry her. Yeah. Right? Well, she didn't want to marry. Is she working in LA? Yeah. So she's making movies. She didn't want to marry

because she was already married and she didn't like the institution. Is she working in LA? Yeah. So she's making movies. She didn't want to marry because she was already married and she didn't like the institution of marriage. Right, okay. But we called a lawyer, a different lawyer, and he said to me, there's no other way you can stay in this country. Unless you get married and knock her up. Unless you get married and knock her up.

Right. With twins. With twins. And that's the problem. Because you're small. And a regular baby wouldn't have been enough baby. It was like. So you have to to do according to your body weight we're checking the numbers we're crushing numbers here in this you have you have three kids you

need three kids stay in this country because one of your kids is not big enough because have your genes right so your kids are still small right yeah I get it man I understand we need too many kids to start the paperwork. So you start having kids right away when you get married? Right away. No, she was already pregnant. She was already pregnant? Yeah. Now is that messing up her work, being a mom?

No, not really. You got a nanny? Oh, we got a system of nannies. We've got multiple nannies. You have multiple nannies? Multiple nannies. From another country? I don't want to talk about it.

I don't think the country's ready for this conversation. Right. I don't think this should be on record in any kind of device. But there's a system of nannies coming in and out of the country. You know? Really? There's a system of... Did you get that?

It's like... He admitted it. Yeah. There's a system of... Did you get that? It's like... He admitted it. Yeah, he's got his cousins coming here working. Called Donald J. He had this done with. There's... What if ICE just broken it right now? What if Danny was ICE?

You know what? I became a citizen for that because I was suspecting that Danny was ICE. Right. So I decided... Danny needs ICE on his back, the old Jew. For months, I was like, I'm sure Danny's ice. That's what happens. Phone number.

He keep inviting me to this show. Right. And just to get info. Now you're here legally. But now I became a citizen. I'm an American citizen. I have the same. Really?

I have the same. So I want all these people out of my country. Are you really? You want them gone? I just want them gone, man. Bye bye same. So I want all these people out of my... Are you really? You want them gone? I just want them gone, man. Fuck them. What's up?

Bye-bye. I'm so tired of these people. Yeah. I'm just trying to steal my money. Yeah. They are. They're taking your money. I mean, my food stamps.

Just don't take it away from me. You have food stamps? I'm using all of them. Spanish people don't use food stamps. No, those don't. So let me ask a question. Come on. You guys work. I love Spanish people. Let let me ask a question. Come on, you guys work. I love Spanish people.

Let me ask you a question. What? You are an American citizen. I'm an American citizen. You took the test. I took the fucking test. You know the Pledge of Allegiance. I know the Pledge.

What is it? Stand up! Stand up! It's the fairy ghost. You can't say it sitting down. Are you nuts? You can't say it, can you? Stand up, dude. Okay. up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!

Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!

Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!

Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Yes. There's a flag. Okay. Yes. Oh great. Want me to help you with this? This is a test now. Now if you fail this, there's officers waiting outside the door. That's how this podcast works.

Ready? Okay. Pledge allegiance. We, yeah. What? We the people. We the, no. No?

I pledge allegiance. I pledge allegiance. To. To. The. The. Flag. Flag. Of the United States of America. of the United States of America. You don't know it! Wait, wait, wait!

I know it, man! I know I was born in this country. I was playing this Chilean character the entire podcast. You are not! I'm an American, man! You're a Jew! You get the fuck out of my country! It'd be funny if you're Jewish. I'm not Jewish. I'm Catholic, man. You're a Jew. You get the fuck out of my country. It'd be funny if you're Jewish. I'm not Jewish.

I'm a Catholic man. How funny is it? You're more scared to be Jewish in New York than Spanish. I'm a Catholic man. I was raised Catholic, but I don't believe in anything because I'm an adult. Bring up this Pledge of Allegiance for him, please. We're going to teach you this right now. Do you have one of those in Chile?

No, we have a cool national anthem. You have a national anthem? Is it as cool as ours? I think it's better. No, buddy! Bring up the national anthem. Bring it up. Bring them both up.

I'm an American because I know I'm free. What's the name of that? That's the name of that? No, that's Trump's song. No, that's just a country guy. Okay. That's not our country. Okay, which country is this? This is America. Okay. No okay, let's go I pledge allegiance to the flag of the flag of the United States of America and Wow start back ready. Here we go. Listen up ready. Oh play it star-spangled banner. You have to say that No, you have to sing it. Okay, are you gonna sing it? Yeah,anner. Ready? Here we go. Listen up. Ready? Play it.

Star Spangled Banner. Do I have to say that? No, you have to sing it. Are you going to sing it? Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Say can you see of the dawn early light and so proudly we hail. That picture's not great.

Looks like you're on the twilight's last gleaming. Yeah, gleaming. Yeah gleaming with him who brought right and right stars Through the perilous fights we fought right we did a lot of fighting Right, I don't know what the rampart is nobody does we're scally streaming the flag Yeah, the streaming what like rock is right there flying up in the air, dude. Bombs are bursting! Yeah, the bombs are bursting. And the scariest shit. Yeah, yeah, this is happening a lot.

We get through to the night. To the night. Yeah, that the flag was still there the next day. The flag was still there. Look at that. That really happened. That's a real thing. It is a statue. It's not real. The Stag does that spars-bangle banner yet wave. Yeah.

Fuck, man. Don't lie. Whoa, whoa, yeah Yeah No, sorry, I was like the land of the free America's the best no don't swear Sorry, no, you can say that okay, okay, I'm brave not all China Yeah, don't say that about you if you want to become really successful you gotta take it back I mean not I mean, not all Chinese people. That was worse than Roseanne. I know that was bad. Roseanne was here. All right, let's hear his.

OK, let's go. OK, you have to sing it with me. Come on. OK, you got ready? Here we go. Here we go. We need to stand up to. Why? Respect for this other country, man. I'm in fucking spectra. You're here. I'm not there. Oh, this is the instrumental one.

You can sing it. Yeah, go ahead. Sing it. Tarantarantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant the donkey and get some some some. Puro chiles tu cielo azulado. Puras brisas. Chile your skies are blue. Your breezes blow across you. Y tu campo de flores borda. And your field embroidered with flowers is a happy copy of the Eden. Yeah, it's ours. You stole ours.

Majesties is your hacks. Over a mountain. That was given to you by the Lord. Yeah. By the Lord, the real Lord. Yeah, our Lord that we gave you. Yeah. Our Lord.

Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Our Lord. Yeah dude, it's ours, you stole ours! Majestic is this whole sovereign mountain that was given to you by the Lord! Yeah! By the Lord, the real Lord! Yeah, our Lord, that we gave you!

The real one! We brought Jesus to you! That was given to you, no Jesus was never here! You guys were in a jungle making huts! Lord of the Bastions! We brought Jesus! What is this, Utah? Like, at the sea that tranquility

promises future splendor for you, and the sea of tranquility watches your shore. Wow, this is too wordy. Dude, shore. Wow. This is too wordy, dude This is beautiful. It's too wordy. Are you on the shore promises future splendor for you? You have the shore for you. Thank you, man My sweet fatherland accepts the vows with which she lists war at your altar altars of what the altars of love? That's crazy Knows that The altars of what? The altars of love. That's crazy. Of course. Everyone knows that.

Okay, this is a long one. This is too long. You guys are too... Either you'll be the tomb of the free. That's disturbing. Or the refugee against oppression. Oppression from you guys. I'm not here.

Wow. What? Sorry. Or the fugue against the oppression of the free. Wow Against the oppression Free Yeah, of course why because he's you know, that's a once and move on medics, you know ruin that this is that's I mean probably one of the worst I mean how many how many anthems you know like this

is the second I think you ever heard in your life I'm sure I'm gonna tell you right now come on we invented the anthem no yeah we did can you Google that yeah America maybe you're right did the anthem okay you guys came up with some patriotic stuff after us. Guarantee. Everyone have their own songs, man. Just leave it there. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands. Can you fight any like, worse quality? One nation under God. Don't interrupt this goddamn beautiful piece of art individually with liberty and justice for all, including you. For all, except some people.

Well, except for the people that came here illegally. So anyway, so now you're here. You have a next... That was fun. We were like seeing songs and everything. The first country to adopt an official national was Great Britain. OK, whatever. They did everything first.

All the time in this country, people like we were the first. And then it's like, well, we were the second. Well, dude, I mean, we did it better. Right. We do everything better. Was first performed. When was ours, dude? Who was the second? Who's the second? Zach, I'm looking at it. Oh, look it up quicker, you piece of shit. Because America, America was the second? Who was the second? Zach? I'm looking at it. Oh, look it up quicker, you piece of shit.

Because America, America Rolls is the second. If they started, they would be here. You were definitely not second. I think Chile was third. You were not. Dude, we were waiting. Like, oh man, countries doesn't have their own songs. Who was it?

New Zealand? Fuck that. No way. The third. Show me the third, songs. Who is it? New Zealand? Fuck that. No way. The third. Show me the third, please. Who's the third? Just get us the top 10, would you please? So we don't have to keep doing this.

Why you don't have AI instead of these guys? We do, he doesn't use it. Fucking chooch. Germany, number three. Germany, wow. Really, number three. Who's number four? Wait, dude, what?

We're not number four? Wait, dude, what? We're not number four? OK, let's go. Come on. Hello? Should we move on? He's now looking at Chachibe T. Well, look at it on the computer, you fool. Anyways.

This part is a trip. It's a little silly. Yeah, we're having a little bit of everything. So now you're in New York. You come here with your wife and your kids? I have three kids, man. Oh, you have the kids here? Yeah, I have the kids here.

You have the kids here. So they're American and they have dual citizenship? Not yet. Does your wife? No. No. Oh, what is, who is this? Okay, where are we?

Okay, Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, France, Germany, Belgium, Argentina, Chile! Yes! We did it! We did it before! Yes! Yes! Yes! God damn it! Dude, I didn't expect this. No man, what? I'm doing the podcast from down here. I don't want to be up there right now. I'm a little embarrassed.

This is embarrassing. Zach, you're a piece of shit and America hates you for doing that. Wow. Wow. Where are we, Zach? I mean, I think I'm going to say this out of love. I think Jeb Jeb say this out of love. I think Chaj Biti could be wrong.

Because this... Are you okay? No, I'm not alright. Everything hurts. I think it makes no sense. There's no way! How is Chile, you guys? I don't know. I don't know, man. Zach, did you make that up? No, he asked it for real.

But I think Chaj BT could be wrong on this because this is kind of insane. You mean, this is an insane fact of Chad GPT the thing that is not wrong on anything? So you know how you were telling Fabrizio that they stole our anthem? Turns out it was the other way around. Shut up, you fucking piece of shit

that doesn't love America. I think it's time for like a planet anthem, like just one for all the countries. How would that go? I think it should be like The Power of Love by Hugh Lewis and the News Band. I think that we should just go with that. Power of love! You've heard of a soccer game and football game? That's my theory, but well, this is insane.

I mean, I couldn't believe it. Where are we, Dum Dum? What? Was it watching ads? I have a stroke. Okay. So now you come to New York, you have a Netflix special, but in Spanish.

Yeah, I have a- So it doesn't count. Now, the thing. I just just say that I have a Netflix special. You have a Netflix special. We don't need more information than that. But it's, you know, if you turn, if you watch it. That's it.

That's it. I have a Netflix special. Okay, you have a Netflix special. No more debates. You have a Netflix special. And now you come to New York and you get it. You're in at The Cellar. Yeah.

Which is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now are you working enough here, is things happening enough here, or do you still have to go back home and work and? I mean, my life got more expensive because of the kids. Can I say something too? Yeah.

Because when I first moved here, I had to go back to Boston to work. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because Boston, I made money. Here, I made nothing. You know, I worked for a food spots at the cellar They would give me wings and shit. Well, I I do

Better than before I'm still not doing enough to like you'll only live by money make it made it in the US, right? But I think I'm going there right now I feel that I'm doing better than before and things are moving in that direction. But of course, it's a lot of work and you never know. But I still go there, make some extra money, I'm bringing it here. So I just have to go. What a beautiful thing though,

to be able to go home and be kind of a superstar. Your fans probably miss you. That's cool, that's pretty cool. And also, you know what? I feel like some of my friends here in comedy, they're very desperate for having a momentum and that kinda sucked their energy and that's pretty cool. And also, you know what? I feel like some of my friends here in comedy, they're very desperate for having a momentum and that kinda sucked their energy and it's so difficult. So at least I have, I can go to a place where I did it.

So I have that out of my, I don't know, I don't have that weight in my back. You don't have the weight in your back where, oh shit, if I don't make it, I'm done. Exactly. I gotta go work your Home Depot assumption. I have my. You don't have the weight that Danny, Zach and Joe have.

Exactly. So what is this? There's some of that. Read it. In the United States have is. Not you. Oh, sorry. You're not my producer.

I want to work here. It says the United States had its national anthem before Chile. Bang. Bang. Bullshit, man. The part was that we didn't adopt it until 19%, but we wrote it before them. Always adopting things late.

That's kind of bullshit. How do we know that? How would you do it adopted? You have it there. Like, no, that's not our anthem. We're working on another one. Hey How would you do it adopted? That you have it there? See, like, no, no, that's not our answer. I mean, we're working in another one. Hey, did Chilly do it yet? No, not yet, then.

Makes no sense. So you and your wife live in Manhattan, which is crazy. Yeah, yeah. We live here in the city. But that's good that she's in the business. You can get work here. She does all kinds of work here. It's great.

It's great. And you have the kids. You're raising them in the city. I'm raising them. Which I did not want to. We were just talking about it. Yeah. But you know what, I have a place in Connecticut and I just, you know, during the summer.

Oh, you have a little house in Connecticut? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's the way they have like some extra air and space and shit. So in the city, they go to school in the city? Yeah, the oldest one. The other ones are not. How old is your oldest one? It's like five. Did you just get kids so you can be here? What? I don't know what you're talking about. I want to get you pregnant and have the kids but you take care of them in Connecticut.

He looks 35. He's five. You look five and you're 35. You're the exact opposite. I'm the exact opposite of my kid. No, he's five. He's about to turn six. That's why I got confused. No, it's because I don't love him that much. And he go to a public school.

It doesn't matter. Is it a good public school? It's great. Is it? It's PS87. I don't know what the fuck that means. It's a great public school. That's what I don't like about New York school, Manhattan schools great. Is it? It's PS87. I don't know what the fuck that means. It's a great public school. That's what I don't like about New York school, Manhattan schools too.

It's a number, like a robot. PF49. I don't like that. I want him to go to Jefferson's school. It sounds more like a machine gun, you know? Yeah. I got a PS87. And is it Spanish-English?

They have the dual lingo teacher. They have that. That's great. Yeah. That's great. I tried to get my son into that. We were in a school with dual Spanish classes, but he didn't fucking, they didn't let him in.

No? Now you have to get chosen or some shit. But- By God? Or how that works? Like they just- No, we were chosen by God. We're American. Did you hear our anthem?

Oh yeah. Yeah, no, we get out of the city, I'm very happy. But that's cool that you love living in the city and you're here and you get to do your spots and stuff like that. Are you touring yet? I did a tour a couple years ago then, the twins were born and I was like,

I don't wanna travel that much when they're baby babies because they're two and I don't want everyone to go crazy. And now I'm going back on the road after the special at the end of the year, I'm gonna go get back on the road after the special at the end of a year I'm gonna go get back on the road and what club you weren't clubs out here. I work clubs Yeah, I think I mean I can feel like a 30 300 people's place and right something like that And that's my average and you know Spanish all the Spanish people do you have like do the Chilean Chile?

I'm not a mini chillin. Yes, she Lanias. She'll I know today Chileans Chilean not a many Chilean Chilanias Chilanias today When he was at the dojos someone came in from South Carolina Chilean person came from South Carolina to see you and you also try to have sex with that person It was a different person. Okay, that's just disgusting guys trying to fuck every Chilean That's what we do No, I must be I always said this If you have a people behind you, it's great because they'll support you.

I mean, I'm starting. Like, you know what? Like, I'm trying to get more. I mean, I just do everything to try to get different people to like check out my jokes. Hopefully, they like them and keep building, man. Like everyone. That's great. Are you with an agency? Did you get an agent? I have an agent. I have a manager. Who did you get? I mean, WME. WME. Okay. Yeah, they're great.

And I mean, I'm in three arts. Three arts. They're great, too. Two of the biggest. I like them. Two of the best. And I mean, I'm in three arts. Three arts, they're great too, two of the biggest. I like them. Two of the best. I like them a lot. That's amazing. Now, did they get you down there? Or did they get you when you came up here? They just gave me everything.

Now do they get some of that down there action? I don't try, I tell them that I don't make money there. It's just... Wow, they're all dumb. Not this part. You fucking dumb dumb. What? What's wrong with you? They don't listen. You never know dude. You want evidence. So I heard you went to Chile and made some money. I have blocked them in all my social media. Oh good. I have no clue what I'm doing. Are you into the social media stuff? I have to. Yeah, you like it? I don't love it, but now I'm okay with it

Yeah, I used to fight against it and one day I was like what I'm doing because you know Spanish because you're much He's mo you're not you don't like this thing is because it's machismo. That's why I don't know I I I think it's hard to be like a marketing person and a comedian, but fuck it, you know what? This is it, we have to do it. That's what we're gonna do, right? Now do you have a podcast or anything? I have a podcast, but I'm not in English yet. Oh, it's in Spanish?

I wanna start one in English. What is it called? It's called, Que Paso Ahora. Oh, really? Yeah. I know what that means. Yeah, what it means? It means, hey, you speak English? It means hey You speak English

No, I do this in Spanish. It's que paso ahora. Yeah, que paso ahora means hey, hey What? Que paso ahora what happened now? What happened now? Fuck I gotta learn Duolingo sucks. I know 178 days I don't even know a que paso ahora. This is the simplest one. I can say good though. Que paso ahora Stroke What's going on now? This is the simplest one. I can say it good though. What's going on now? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Hey, you. Ah, that fucking stroke. Do you ever had a stroke? No.

You look like a person who had a stroke. You, I mean, if you have to bet money, who's gonna have a stroke in the next five days? I will put it in you. Like, definitely. Will you take that out of the universe? That's one of the funniest things I've, I've been called fat, I've been called a beluga whale.

You look like a person who had a stroke. It's probably one of the best insults I've ever had. Is that it? I'm really proud of myself right now. I will go to these websites, you know this website you can bet? You know that this, like you can bet on reality? Are you gonna go bet that I have a stroke?

Yeah, I'm gonna put like a thousand dollars. Why? Every morning. Till you have the stroke. What are you fucking voodoo? You little Spanish. That's the way I'm gonna make it in this country, just betting against your health. I'm calling my friend Ice.

I'm gonna get you out of this country. I'm gonna tell him. Too late, man, I just signed the Plaintiff of Allegiance or whatever, I'm here forever. The Pledge of Whatever. I pledged to the Alleg allegiance of whatever, man. I just fucking nailed it. I'm part of this, I'm part of the DNA of this country.

You are, man, you're an American citizen. And now you got kids in America. And I, look man, I don't, I really believe they should leave all the people that are working here, whatever, help them figure out how to stay. Of course, easy. Get the people that are criminals and terrible people,

go get them, snatch them. You know what, also, you're criminals too. You know, like American- Get them all! You know, like we don't want criminals. Not just Spanish. Period, you know? Yeah, get them all.

What about all criminals, man? Yeah, get them all out of here. But leave the people that are working hard and helping us, helping the country. I mean, leave my nannies alone. That's what I'm trying to say. Yes, leave my. I'm gonna have to try to bring a new batch.

And it's not gonna be good for the country. I'm gonna bring more and more until I can make a nanny community outside of Connecticut. That's my plan. I think they already have you out there. All the rich white people beat you to that. Well, why do you think we brought those all in the first place? They need the houses clean and the kids watched.

Yeah. That was so funny. I was I was in New York and there was all the if you go there in the day, it's all like Haitian nannies pushing around these little white kids. These little rich white kids. And it's just it's hilarious to me. Because the parents are just not there. They're not there. And there's these Haitian women are just walking around. And they don't care.

They don't love them. Like you can tell, like not all of them, but like most of them, you can, I mean, you can see a lot of nannies watching their phones while the kids. Spanish nannies? They're real love. They're love.

They're a lot of love. They love. I think they love our kids more than we love our kids. They love Spanish. Big fan of Spanish. Amor. Amor. That's why I'm trying to do lingo.

To have some of that love. I want that fucking Spaniardo in me. Yeah, there's something about Spanish speakers and Spanish women, older Spanish women, that they have like an extra like an extra level of love. Yeah. That white woman in America, they don't have it. No, it's fucking smashed out of them. They just like, they don't have it, you know? Yeah. They get dry. Yeah. In every single way. Yeah. They get just dry. It's like all the water just... You're talking

about white vagina? What are you talking about? And white women at 45, they just, all the water is just like gone. Yeah, not a Spanish woman. No, they keep the water. They keep the agua. They keep the agua inside. They keep the agua. They keep the agua inside of their bodies.

Yeah, we keep the water. I can't think of any other Spanish words except agua and sea. You nailed it, man. You're panicking me. You did it well. All right, listen, dude. Where can people check you out?

You can check me on my social media at FabricioComedian. That's all my bits in English. And if you want to check my Spanish, at Fabricio Copano, my name. Also, I'm coming out with a special. I don't know when this is going to come out, but whatever. It's live right now on Patreon. What the fuck?

And it's be everywhere on Sunday. Awesome. So July 29th is going to be available for everyone whatever like in it's live right now on patreon every everywhere on sunday oh awesome so uh july 29th is going to be available for everyone uh on the 800 pan gorilla oh i love those channels i mean they're great uh and this special is called from the future and i hope you guys like it dude check out his special make sure you check him out it was lovely hanging out with you and meeting you nice to meet you come back on we'll bring you back on with some other comics from the seller. More than happy man. And we're gonna go to patreon.com Robert Kelly right now and ask him questions from the patreon people if you want to be one of those people go to Patreon. Patronis Patronis see is that a is that alcohol? There's an alcohol called... And a cigar. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, gracias. Yes. Anyways, shut the fuck up, por favor. Okay, sorry, sir. No, I'm kidding, dude, I'm kidding. That's all I know. Gringo, maricón, mamarabicho, mandecoringo. Was that good?

Yeah, that was... That just came out. That's your name in Spanish. What? That's the description. Make sure you go to Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly if you want to ask questions and see the show live and get it first.

That's where you go. If you're on YouTube, just do me a favor, hit the subscribe button and like. We're trying to get the subscriptions up this year and if you're watching these shows, that's all you gotta do and share the show. Take any show you want and use it and just tag us in it, that's all we ask.

And make sure you go to my website punchup.live slash Robert Kelly, Portland, Maine the 25th to 26th and then I'm in Rochester. I'm taking the month of August off. You guys know that and the rest of July to spend with the family. So I'll be back though October. I'm back in the mix baby. Tampa everywhere to punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly boys what do you got follow me on Instagram and if at Denny Braff and if you're an attractive Chilean woman please hit me up if you want citizenship and have sex with me hey this is Joe Russell vinnies jokes you want a song he said where you call from you fucking mumbling asshole you guys can follow me on instagram god you're too fucking add zac real limited and look up the fat kids podcast on youtube thank you all

right were you a fat kid, Zach? Yes. Oh wow, can I have pictures? Yes. All right, that's great. Naked? Oh, what? Dude, you're a kid. What?

We don't do that in America, dude. That's not me, you said that. Oh God, that was you. It was you. People are listening to Spotify, it was 100%. Spotify, that was you. That's legal down there, though. What?

Anyway, that's where we get our kids. Are you in the Epson list? No. I just want to check. All right, guys. We'll see you guys next time on You Know What, Dude.