Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #599 | Che Durena, JJ Liberman, Dan Geneen | Gooning

Episode Date: August 10, 2025

Things get wild this week when Che Durena , JJ Liberman, and Dan Geneen explain to Bobby what Gooning is and watch a video of Che drinking p_ss.Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/Support the show and start your free online Hims visit today athttps://www.hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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what's up everybody it's robert kelly we're back at the comedy cellar studios with another episode of you know what dude y k wd the longest running podcast on the fucking east coast that's a fact look it up bitches i've been doing this before any of them more successful No. What the hell's that matter? What does that matter? Who cares about success? Who cares about selling out arenas? Who cares about being in the fucking, the fucking whatever

sphere of famous people? It doesn't matter. That's not what I'm about. I'm about good talking and good times. And tonight, we have a very special show. People I haven't had on and people I've had on. So, Danny, who do we got? We have Dan Janine. have J.J. Lieberman, and coming on

when he gets here is going to be Chay Doreena. Should we do headphones? You want to do headphones? I do headphones just because you can hear better. And sometimes the outside beep beeps and the screaming and yelling kind of goes away. Plus, you get to hear

BRAF, right? That's exciting. Yeah, well, he forgets to talk on the microphone once in a while, which is not exciting because it's like what? You can just unhear him. And you're going to remind him. You were talking about you trying to get on this podcast for how long? Speaking of Danny Braff.

Yeah, I think I sent, how many DMs I sent you to get on this podcast? 4,000, 3208. 4,000. Do you want to read them out where I call you stupid autistic retires? Is that what I said to him

because I said the same thing? No, I think I think I said autistic. Are you, you're Jewish too, right, Brath? Big old Jew face. Of course. Jay J does the whole podcast. Did you just ask Danny Braff if he's Jewish? Yeah, I know.

Did you see him when you worked in? Can I tell you about another thing? Danny Braff and I have a little side competition. What? Whose cock is bigger? No, we both lose. Who has the hairier nipples?

No, no, no. Whose eyebrow and pubicator connect? Danny loses that one. Hairy nipples with pale chest. It's funny that I didn't mind the other, the hair stuff I wasn't as happy about. Is that why you're not doing the headset? You don't want to mess up the hair? I'm not, well, I got excited.

You hear when he said plugs? I was like, we're doing more plugs? Not hair plugs. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. I've been the wrong. Dan's got hair plugs. I want to send you to Turkey.

He did it in America. He's a Jew. Really? He ain't going to the fucking Mujahideen countries. Wow, are you Jewish? Yeah. I know where I am.

You're in the motherland of comedy for Jews. I know. Anyway, Danny and I had a contest we asked a bunch of people who was more Jewier because I couldn't believe that he thought it. Oh, this was nuts.

This made me furious. Wait a minute. You're way more Jewy than Danny. What the fuck? Okay. Thank you, Bob. what the fuck he's a little more effeminate danny graff is like uh he's a feminine jewie danny brough's just a jew yeah but danny could be uh danny could pass for uh back country cousin

fucker new hampshire italian jew you you jew i just him i there's a lot of things his face can be so we had the competition and every single person said me everybody said you no no every person said dan except for the one person that's that mattered, which was Jessica Curson who said me. You said that she's more Jewel than him. Yes. I just feel like, you know, when we get put in camps again, I feel like I'll be able to talk my way out of it and Danny will have no way.

He's the reason there are camps. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. He's why they want camps again. Kanye sang about, he said, let me see that picture of Danny Braff and then he did the Hitler song. Sometimes when Braff calls me too many times in a day,

I'll listen to the Kanye song. I do love Brath. Yeah, we love Brat. I mean, we love Brat Foo, but we don't love them like, you know, if something happened, it's not going to affect us. We'd move on. It would be like, oh. You love him like you love any other podcast producer.

Yeah. You love him as much as you don't want to put up another Craigslist ad. Well, I met, I met, what's his face in, in Austin. I'm blanking on his name right now I used to do Hang on one second Hang on one second How dare you bring me too much cream

You know how I like my coffee I'm sorry you guys have to put up I'm sorry you have to see this Hey I like my that's milk You're an asshole You know what? Fire Zach

Wait a minute he's not going to payed Pay him $25 and then fire him You guys get serious We go on coffee You guys really went You guys were like Oh my God I can't believe you did this too

No I actually Well I really like Zach And I didn't know Whether to acknowledge him or not Because I was trying to be You like him No I agree with you Yeah

I agree with you About the excess of cream It's because it's fat America And dumb America That are baristas now And they fucking put too much A splash Yeah

Man You are so expressive With the word splash I love it Yeah I actually did spit on my lower lip. Let me ask you a question.

You're some of who, that we're going to play this game, Danny has. Bad game, by the way. Listen, why is it bad game? Well, he told me the idea and immediately I went, what a fucking idiot. What a stupid game. But first he said, oh, you want me on the pod?

And then he said, the pitch is bad. No, the truth is, because I was, me and chair doing a new pod. So I said, BRAF, can we plug? Because we're, you know, we did like being in Jordan. I want to plug that right now. What's the pod? Two goons.

Two goons. Yeah, we, is that what you call your penises? No, we both have good cops. Do you know what gooning is? Oh, of course. Really? Do you know what gooning is? No. He brought gooning. I didn't know what it was.

It's jerking off for hours. Not edging. It's just like a shirk. Wait a minute. Jerking off for hours is called gooning? I love you. Why is it called gooning? Let me just before you get into this, let me tell you, you're talking to the world's leading goon expert right now. Why are you?

You just thought I was some failed comic, huh? You're not funny. Why is he on my podcast? Did you learn this in Sleepaway Camp? So I... Are you the Gooner? I am. Really?

Yes. He leads armies of gooners on last show. I'm sorry. What the fuck? Danny, what's happening? You brought a gooner into my fucking studio? Yeah. So wait a minute.

But he's not a pervert. All right, listen. So gooning is jerking. So you had to be a comedian You needed the time You needed the time to goon Yes Okay, did you invent gooning?

No, so I, uh, two years ago Do you want to know the Thank you The birth of my gooning? I split the cigars with him by the way Thank you so much Appreciate that Now you know who the real Jew is

I don't get that for free Get a cigar I'm in the room I can't even believe I go I was known in my friend's circle well-known fact that

so I tour with Ryan Long him and Danny Polshuck's been on this is too, right? No. Has anybody? No, Ryan's going to hurt my story. Yeah, it does hurt my story. But they would make fun of me because they said...

Nothing is going to hurt the story. Except you're telling it. Yeah, I'm telling it like a woman. So I used to masturbate all day when I first started comedy, and I did nothing. And I would literally tell them, I wish there was a way to monetize this. Fast forward 10 years later. Don't worry, I'll get to the fucking punch. I'll get to the punch.

I will let you just go through it, but I do have a question. When you say masturbate all day, I'm saying, well, the time you wake up until the time you went and did spots. No, I would get up around like 11, walk my dogs, work out, then jerk off for three hours. That's all day. All day. Yeah, okay, yeah. That's technically. So you really, you really practice what you preach.

Oh, I live it. Okay. How do you jerk off after you work out? Because I know, I knew guys who would do that, but they would take a lot of pain killers. I would, a lot of time, edibles, and it was immaculate. What is it? Edibles. Edibles.

Oh. So you jerk off, you take the, you work out. So I take the edible right before the workout. Then I was on the, I used to be like jacked. I was like rowing and you could feel that body buzz. I didn't start getting into wheat until 34 years old. Wow. Yeah, I was sober guy until 34 years old.

So I loved, like this newfound love of life was via comedy. I started comedy at 33. Right. So comedy and life is good right now. You know, I'm finally good at something after 33 years of failure. Yeah. Edible. shower beat the fuck out of my dick for hours right then go do a spot

but i didn't know it was called gooning at the time for the record i just thought i was being lazy i entered at howard stern for a while and i remember someone on i can't remember who it was how hard you set someone up and he said like how hard you beat your dick and the guy said i beat my dick like it owes me money and i was like 19 or 20 when i heard that and that was the first time i knew like i understood what what a street joke was. Like, I never knew that people, like, copied other people's jokes. Right.

I thought that was on the spot. Oh, no, shit. But Howard, like, knew that that was the good line that the guy said. Yeah. Anyway, go on. No, good segue out of that weird, uncomfortable. I jerked off for hours. If you probably replay it back, you could see my eyes open like that.

Yeah, it was real. But I'm open still like that. I'm sick. Let me ask you. So, where did you first hear the term gooning? So fast forward 10 years, I'm doing spots in Austin, bouncing around. I miss my. Nobody, you're on,

at this point? I know. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm doing these two kids who are like 21 and 24 and I'm telling them this story. I was on with Chaterina and they're like, you're a gooner. I'm like, what? And they explain to me like to you right now. It passes on. Bestowed the knowledge. Yes, wisdom is shared via microphone podcast and comedy. And I go, I am a gooner. So I just live my life thinking I'm a gooner. Can I ask a quick question again? I'm just going to throw these in. So, when you goon, you jerk off, come, jerk off again, come? No, that's, no, no, no. So it's edging for hours.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Edging is you get close and then you hold off. Zach has a bad joke about it on stage. You ever watch Zach do comedy as a fucking terrible joke about it? So he'll tell you his version of it, but you get close and then you stop, you get close and you stop. And that can last 15 minutes. You can get close in two minutes.

That's edging. Right, that's edging. Gooning is just Think of edging as multiple sprints And or long marathons But gooning is just marathoness So you're just jerking You're not getting it to the edge

No You're just jerking Watching porn Jerking They get off on how much porn they can watch And like how many people No I don't get off I get off

I'm saying they like the gooners brag They're like Oh I got through you know Two hours of whatever I'm just saying you guys Yeah It's excited about consuming a lot of porn Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry.

Yeah, I'm an asshole now. No. I mean, you did look sad. I don't know why you got to say. Is porn not part of it? Porn is part of it. There's a lot of things part of it. What's house is part of it?

Besides jerking off in porn. Uh, meat milking machines. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, yeah. Like a professional, like a meat milker? A meat milker? Like a flashlight with power eyes. Oh.

I had the blowjub 5,000 in here. I should have saved it. We still have it. Where is it? It's in, I'll tell me to go. Danny. You want it? No, Danny.

Danny uses it when nobody's here. Never used it. Danny Braff. I said, Danny, please use it. He's like, I'll try. And then he never took it home. Because he's so fucking, he's a coward. My parents would, my family would find out and they bring it up at Shabbat.

He's a coward. And he never took it. He lives alone. Doesn't get anything. Fucking, there it is right there. Blow job. And it's the new version. That's the auto blow.

I work with this guy. You do? Yeah, audio. Dude, it's great. Yeah, he's great. fucking this is amazing i can't use it because i had one at my house and my wife found it should get that out of here really so i couldn't use it what's up buddy he even knows what this jay j's here what's up kid no i didn't bring one he had one cute jay j is this top of the line

hi buddy good to see you man i i think this is one of top of the line turn chase mike on please this there's another one did you i don't think you know there we go there we go i don't think you unboxed it no i'm so mine came in like a like a almost like a suitcase you can bring the vacuum glide this is different what's a vacu glide is that better vacu glides nirvana same company wait a minute so i got the lower so they gave him the vacuum glide and i got the automobile they got both of them yeah well i was doing a brand deal with them so that's why they sent i'll fucking do one they gave you a nissan they gave you a niss i got a what mclaren it's a mclaren it weighs it wasn't alexis it weighs 15 pounds what dude i've never i've never

even used it if i really yeah it's all you're it's in my it's in my apartment yeah it comes in a suitcase like literally yeah you carry it it's a back so like i could put that in the shed and nobody would know what it is and everybody knows what that is they would probably think it's like a vacuum who would know what this was people would think this was a toothbrush why were that's a big toothbrush i brought it through tsa and they flagged it what yeah yeah they course they should yeah i told it looks like a fucking gay bomb i brought the bigger one actually flagged him because he was making this face who's gooning

but just to catch you up JJ was explaining stop playing stuff in the background Danny you dumb dumb what's he fucking playing I just heard I'm not a pervert I'm playing on my videos

JJ was was explaining to Bobby what gooning was and then got mad at me because I said part of it was that they like to watch a lot of porn yeah that is part of it

it is part of it but that's not what defines us it's it's stop also don't say us what is us no not you

As in the people, the gooners. If you're just beaten off for three hours with no porn, what are you doing? By the way, can you go down? Danny, can we get, can we, we're in the middle. No, no, no. You have to see the hate comments because I was filming some chicks dress fly up. People were calling me a pedophile because, really? Well, I was following a chick in her dress.

I want to see her muffin. It's so adorable the way you say it, you pervert. So people get right there. Yeah, people were getting so mad in the comments. really they're like uh well that's the part that's the fun part about new york in the spring and the summer this is awesome is that they wear these the these uh you need horse dresses yeah they were dressing and it might shoot up yeah and you get a little butt shot but i guess they didn't like the fact that i was i mean i'm supposed to follow them with a camera screaming come come on wind come on wind

yeah just being on front of the cellar and it happens is one thing you creepily falling with a camera singing songs. And he is the Jew and controls the weather. And they recognize you from Gooners.com. There it is. That's the size of it. Look how big it is. It's in a suitcase. Where is it? It's unbelievable.

Is this the one? This is the one. The Lexus? McClare. Every time I use it, I have to put it away and put a lock on it. Oh, my God. Where do you put your dick? Oh, everywhere. What? Are you going to have

Do you have a girlfriend? No. No, nobody's fucking me. You really got Jewish on that one. No, why wouldn't anybody fuck me? Wow, it was like you work at B&A. Jay J.J really walked in today, like I'm going to give it my all. I got to turn it on for podcast.

Hey, yeah, listen, don't let him bid you're doing great. Yeah, look at that. He didn't even bring me a gift. I brought him cigars. Oh, cigars? That was from the Gooner, two goons podcasts. Yeah, two guns podcasts. Wait a minute, are you?

Yeah, I do a podcast with JJ. Are you a gooner? No. I'm not to, we, it's, it's a different vibe between the two of us. JJ's more like, I would say, openly perverted. I'm more like, uh, I like gross stuff done when I'm having sex. I love, like, but you have, like, like what?

Oh, I'd love to like piss on someone. Yes. This is why it, I'll tell you why it disturbs me. Yeah. Because you say it so. Cavalier? Yeah, like, it's like, it's such a sweet, young, little light-skinned black guy. Yeah.

That talks so disgusting And it's so weird You know what I mean? That's a charm Like if Keith Robba's yum I like pissing on a kick I would be okay with that But you said it's like why

Why? It's nice, it's fun The girls like it? Yeah there's this one chick I hooked up with She showed But you know what he's voice is so They both have a smile About a little charm

You remember when we did Sex is fun It's fun Is that sex? I don't think that's sex I think that's defecating on some depravity yes yeah i don't think that's that it's still fun i think that what it is is when you when you smile in that kind of sheepish like sweet way

yeah and filthy things it like it makes us feel like we're in the presence of sociopaths oh no i think that's i'm not saying with chet oh i am listen i i love look i love you dude yeah but it is you know i mean him saying it i'd be like okay cool i get it when you come in He'd be like, no, I love to piss on a girl, yes. Not only does he love to piss on a girl, please check out the screen. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, see, I would say my gooning takes a more scientific angle.

So this was me and Joanna Angel. The first porn I've seen in three months. Why are you? Are you not into any of it? Well, I'm abstaining from... He did ayahuasca, and now he's a good guy. Are you abstaining from sex? Not sex.

I'm abstaining. I haven't seen porn. He's abstaining from podcasts like this. If you're not jerking off to it, I think it's fine. Okay. If it's for scientific reason. Yeah, it's for scientific stuff. Said the drug addict to the druggie.

What's wrong with you, dude? Listen, look at me. Look at me. Don't look at the screen. Don't listen to him. He pisses on people. He pisses up people and he jerks off the skirts. He follows women around with cameras.

Look at me. I'm here. I'm married. My wife has metapause. I haven't seen pussy in seven months. Wow. The last one I saw was old. Danny, did you, did you see, have you seen this before?

How did you find this? When you were promoting it, I was blown away. Okay, yeah. And then I tried watching it, I couldn't get through 30. What is it, Dan? Explain this. It's, Jay. It's a, I did a blind taste test challenge with squirt and piss with Joanna Angel, the foreign star.

And so we, I interviewed. Did you have to wear a suit? Yeah, of course. He's a sophisticated man. Yeah. This is why when most people go left, you're going right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

Look at that. Danny. I mean, yeah, the beginning is just an interview, and that part's not exciting. But this is where it gets good. where she's actually like because we had to get the squirt live people had to know that it was real squirt wait a you made a squirt catcher

yeah yeah which is it's really just a funnel and a two I mean buddy you should patent that yeah the squirt catcher yeah yeah it's like a great pussy oh yeah yeah Joanna Angel is quite an attractive person wow my god look at that box

so I'm playing a urologist you're actually why does word precious come to mind when he when he says precious So a reason I had to play the urologist in the video Is because we actually got a real urologist And then when he saw the final cut

He was like, I can't be in this Oh, really? No, no, pop's like, I can't be in it He volunteered to do it But I don't think he knew his face was going to be right next to the pussy Oh, so you mean a real doctor didn't want to be in this video Yeah, no, no, no How could he dare?

What a piece of shit he is And you want to know the funny part? Because he's gay, too. Do you think that's what it was? No. That's wild. Just outing guys? Oh, fuck.

Legitimacy of his career. You're the only one that knew that. I've done gay stuff. What? A lot? There's a lot going on to the show, dude. That's like what my therapist said to me the first time he met me, he's like, 30 minutes in he had his head in his hand.

He's like, I can't do this. It's a lot. And then she starts squirting. Look at that. Like, it's crazy how much she can squirt. And then I had to catch it. It was going everywhere. Got my soak my shoes.

Can I say something? And you don't look like you're having fun. Well, I was just, I was focused on catching it. That's what it was. Jay also likes to do a great job. Yeah, yeah. You got to keep your eyes open underneath the ball. Exactly.

Like, I wasn't so much focused on like, it was this pleasurable for me. I was like, I got to get the squirt because this is our one shot. We had one shot at getting the squirt. I might have taken a Me Too case right there and just went, Oh, he's going to jail. Oh, yeah. I already have one fun to get canceled. Taking a meat suitcase.

Um, so let me tell you something. Yeah. You're trying to catch this, this is piss. Squirt, there's a squirt. The piss comes later. Hang on. Yeah. You're saying there's a difference between piss and squirt. That's what we were, dude. The whole point of the video is to get to the bottom if there's a difference between squirt and piss.

What was the... You've got me interested. Yes, see, there you go. You really do. And it's the suit that did it. The suit's great. You got to give him the best. He drank them both.

I drank both the squirt and the piss with a blindfold on. Oh, my God. This is the piss. Yeah, yeah. And then she's pissing and we're collecting the piss and a jug. You think that's a good vagina? Yeah, it's a great vagina. I thought so when it had...

It didn't look so great in that shot, I agree. No, dude. I mean, she's a brazzers feature porn. First of all, I know which one's the piss. You have to be blindfolded. Yeah, I am blindfolded. Yeah. Look at both your hands, by the way.

Whoa, whoa, go back. I just had him out. Like a guy in a fucking Rome who hasn't eaten in months. Can I just say something? She needs to hydrate. Well, okay, so a little industry inside her thing. She had vitamins. was, yeah, she did it

some vitamins, Zimpediolite. Yep, you can tell the P is vitamin out. Yeah. All right, this is definitely the, can you smell the difference? Yeah, so this is the squirt. And so, yeah, so the squirt was like, it was just kind of tasted

or smelled like salinated water. Yes. This is getting Dan. This is amazing. I've never seen the video. Oh! Oh! Oh!

It's amazing. It's good. This is art. Yeah. Oh, my God. What does it taste like? What are you saying? I'm like, it's a little saline. I think it's a piss.

That's great. It is a piss. If this is a piss easy day at the office. Oh, you want more. Yeah, the squirt was fine. What it tastes like? Like a little bit, it's like a little salinated. Like you can taste a hint, a hint of salt in there.

Oh, nice. Like, if anything, this is hydrating me right now. She squirted that much. Oh, she squirted that much. Oh, she squirted. A bunch didn't even get in. Most of it was on the floor. So there's a difference between squirt and piss.

Absolutely. You see it right there. I know, but I never thought. I thought it was the same thing. They'd been lying to you. Who's that? Well, I don't know. My mother?

I guess. The common thought now is an 80% that squirt is 80% piss? No, no, no. I think it has traces of pisses. Traces? Traces? It's coming from the same. Did you know at this point, by the way?

Yeah, because I smelled it. Oh. Danny, let me hear it. Wow. Oh, beautiful. Oh, it's bad. It's bad. It's bad.

You're fighting it. Oh, yeah. No, I didn't like it. Oh, who would? You throwing up? Are you throwing up? No, I think I did. You spit.

You spit. Oh. This is fucking podcasting, baby. You take it more. Why would you take more? You can't do it. He's an artist. It did pretty good, too.

What did it get? How many views on this? This is amazing. What is this on? 35K's on PornHub. I feel stupid for never watching this before. Let me ask you. So you're the one, this is what you're doing with porn.

You're adding content. Yeah, it was like maybe I can make comedy content on Pornhub. And you're doing it. And I did it. Yeah, yeah. This was made a while ago and it wasn't really successful enough for how much it cost to make for me to I would have done a whole series.

I was just supposed to get a chick to piss into a cup. So, that's free. Yeah. I love, I love you really pick your spots. You little fucking Jewish nerd.

I love you. Thank you all you here. It'd be too much. I need you here. We got a balance. I'll take a half a cigar for that one. Yeah, mine was better.

Yeah. She didn't say a lot during that. No, during that, she didn't talk a lot. But, yeah, so it comes from the skein gland. So it's a different gland. It's basically the female prostate. That's where... That's coming out of a prostate?

A female prostate. I don't give a fuck what it is. Prostate. It came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you... Do male have prostates? Yeah, men have...

Do we squirt stuff out? That's where your semen comes from, yeah. So semen... Why does our semen... Yeah. It's so thick and creamy and juicy and delicious. Whoa. I'm sorry.

You didn't know I was a fucking, I was a seaman goony? I used to be a big semen, uh, I'm gonna sit, semen retention. Yeah, semen retention except other people's.

What? Yeah. Okay, dude, what the fuck are you? I don't know. What did you do? In my 20s, I used to blow a lot of guys.

Okay, listen, guys. I want to thank you guys for coming on the podcast. I want to be in Portland, Maine at the, yeah. What the fuck? I thought you didn't. suck dick.

No, I didn't get fucked. Big difference, you piece of shit. There is a big difference. Yeah, one is gay and one's really gay. Yeah. Wow. So you suck, you blue guys. A lot.

I mean, Jesus Christ. What are the Mickey Mantle of Dick suck it? That's where he started. Yeah, 56 games in row. Only the second base. So you just blew, there was a time where you were just blown. All right, can you not blow the bottle? So there's a time

This is crazy, dude In my 20s How do we go How did he beat you? Oh, well I think JJ's definitely crazier than me And does done wilder stuff Yeah

More time on the planet for sure I think so Yeah In 10 years you're gonna be Well I think your Your stuff seemed more devious My stuff I like

I was sometimes There was a creative angle to it Yeah artistic I like to go to like Sex clubs And like I was like Fucking in front of people And stuff

Like there was a girl I was dating You got a nice piece It's good, yeah You gotta have a good piece Yeah I wouldn't be able to go to a sex club And fuck in front

Instead of a side Get It Ready Room Yeah, yeah You know what I mean? Yeah Like you go in there And there's some Middage woman

Hey, get in here What do you need me to get it ready Literally yeah Help me out And then all right Dang, you're ready Go out there and get him kid Slaps me on the ass

Exactly Yeah I couldn't You just went in And yeah Oh yeah You just go in You just go in

And start doing your shit The problem the sex club though is that there'll be like AIDS AIDS for sure but like four hot couples and then the rest are just like pigs there'll be a lot of really unattractive people now the guys try to get with you in there too

no the guys never got to try but a lot of guys the girl I was going with at the time she was super cute and she and a lot of people wanted to watch watch you fuck her they wanted to watch like I remember one time I was banging her in like the ballroom area there's like a big room where they would do events and shit and then I'm fucking her and I look behind me and there's like nine guys

eyes just arms crossed like oh and that kind of caught me off guard i was like oh shit i didn't know you guys were all here yeah yeah but it was kind of cool i felt like cool to be like yeah you like look it like i'm in the center of a you must have yeah yeah if you don't want nine you if you don't want nine what are you doing there yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah like we just what would imagine he's like i only want one man to watch that's weird but it's very freeing it is what it's very free for who for i don't know i think you just yeah yeah so you you you've been sexual doing stuff for a while. I actually don't know if it's devian. It's just devian because of his attitude. Yeah, probably just... I'm sorry. What did you say?

I don't actually think what he's doing is that devian. I don't think he's that devious. I don't think deviant's a bad word. Okay. I agree with that. I'll let out. Deviant is 80% piss. I don't think devian is... I don't think deviant is... I don't look at devian as bad. I would say devian is, you know, it's just a deviant shit. It's just bad or good. It's just sexual. Deviant, for me, maybe I'm wrong. I feel it's a little BDSM, me, like a lot of tying up, a lot of, like, prison. No, I think Deviant is getting off the road of missionary sex. The more you get off of it, the more deviant you become. It's not, it's nothing bad, I don't think.

I just think it's a little, you know, so. Like, pissing on someone to me is more deviant. Sure, that's, yeah, that's deviant. It's just opposite of the oil. Blowing a million guys, I don't think is. Not a million, like a hundred. It's a lot. It's a lot.

He was playing baseball. It's a fun part of it. You blew a team. You blew a, you blew a, you blew a season. The other week, I went into a cookie. Me and JJ, we'd go into this cookie shop. Bobby looked at his watch when he started telling that story by the way. When Danny's talking, we're in trouble.

Right as we walk in, the two guys behind the counter recognize JJ, and this is how they recognize him. They go, oh, you're the pervert guy. is that is that let me see yeah i'm glad we met i i never want to blow smoke of people i'm a huge fan of yours for years well i'm glad we met i mean i i think this is like cool like yeah yeah i think that uh well not top of the mountain sorry let me take that back yeah but dude this is on a mountain low oxygen at least yeah yeah yeah yeah this was like yeah yeah rogan this is going to do at this point You're a piece of shit and isn't going to do more for me. So, dude, you...

Bobby's shows are going to be filled with gooners now. I'm glad I had JJ. I'm going to become a gooner. It's a good life. I can't. It's not a good life. It's not a good life. I've jerked off so much the top of my head is shiny.

I need to read it. My dick's been through wars. My days of fucking around are done, dude. Really? Buddy, I did all my stuff in my 20s. To be honest with you, you that's very peaceful. I actually think about that. Like maybe there is a day. Yeah, dude, like I think about

I thought about stuff yesterday. You know, like, because my wife recently had surgery, blah, blah, blah. I know we're not banging for a long time. You know, I'm my fucking, I've been juiced up a little bit. I've been like really horny. And no, I can't do that. I've got a kid. You find out of that he's going to try to put fucking BBs in it. Shoot at the fucking. Um, but that, is that a ninja cream? I can you make

screaming I was thinking the deviant shit my brain still goes there but I was thinking the devious shit like yesterday

like I'm in the city they're not I'm like oh I could do some stuff like my brain goes there let me go find some shit in the city

I can go fuck around but then I'm like nah I don't want to I don't want to hurt myself because for me

I don't think it is for everybody I think I have friends that do sexual stuff and I think they're just into that. For me, sex was bad. I was doing certain things to, like, hurt myself and punish myself.

Sex to me was always when I, it gave me something like a drug would give me, right? So therefore, for me, it's not good. No, for me. But I'm doing that. But, you know, I don't, like, when I was with girls and I did crazy shit, I had no problem with that. No, I mean? I feel the, I feel the, no, but in my 20s, when I was doing it, you know, I feel the, no, but in my 20s when I was doing all the gay stuff.

It's a similar thing. I would go to like the gay clubs. I was stripping gay clubs. I was doing everything crazy. I live like, this is before phones, really, so you could live two lives.

If there was no phone, I'd be sucking all your dicks right now. If there's just an audio podcast, I'd be blowing you guys. Well, that's good, you know, we should cheer for the war then.

I heard, we'd be fucking Danny right now. It's scary fucking ass. Oh, God. One did they call those things? So it was, oh, one EMP and Danny's getting flogged. Danny's getting blown, yeah. I heard there was some sex happening in the bunkers in Israel.

Oh, really? Yeah. Well, they do gay stuff over there all the time, right? Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, when I went to Iraq for the first time. Yeah, yeah. When they had the war. Doing the USO stuff?

USO stuff, and we got there, and this is right when just as the insurgents came in, right? When we first got there, we were the best. They loved us. So you could drive, you go to town. You go down and hang out. We saved them from this fucking piece of shit. And then that's when Iran and they sent all the fucking people in that Saddam was keeping out. That's when it got dangerous.

But right in that little time, you drive from base to base. Oh, that was so much fun. And the guy was like, hey, man, don't be surprised. You're probably going to see a lot of dudes fucking boys on the way there. I was like, what? He goes, yeah, dude, this happens a lot. You just see a guy fucking another guy on the side of the road. He goes, they just pull over.

in the desert and fuck each other. And I was like, yeah. What? Yeah, a lot of fucking, I remember DC Benny had a joke in it, but it happened to me downstairs. You got fucked?

No, no. There was an Egyptian guy who used to work here. With security back in the day. It was mostly Muslim dudes who ran security at the comedy seller. Yeah. And they took no shit.

Yeah. They'd go downstairs. Even a woman would talk. They'd just grab her, get out! And they'd just drag her up or her fucking earrings. Oh man Comedy used to be so much fun

Hey He comes upstairs One day and he goes I'm at the bar He goes hey You a faggot I went What?

He goes You fagget I go No No I'm not I'm like gay He goes Okay good

He goes You know what we do To fagots in my country I go No what He goes We throw rocks On them

Until they feel better And if that doesn't work We fuck them in the ass Anyway, have a good set Yeah Exactly I was like What the fuck is that

Yeah, I don't think about I don't think I don't care about any I don't give a fuck What you do with your holes Doesn't matter to me Wow Who gives a shit

It's just wild That it's out in the open Though What do you mean? Well that they were just Pulling off On the side of the road And just fucking out

Well he I think he doesn't I don't think he's saying I support kid fucking Oh they're fucking kids Yeah Oh shit Well some of them do But some of those guys too

Look at man It's a different culture. Roman, like, ancient Roman, ancient Greece. I'm not condoning it. I think that's wrong. I have an age. A lot of people say that was the most industrious time of humanity. We get coffee.

Weren't you telling me before that in the 80s, older men would fuck young teenage boys because that was the way you learned? Well, that was just my experience. I mean, I don't know. Good yes and He's really You're fucking on tonight

You're busting my balls About fucking liven it up He's fucking sneaking What's up But it's like so But your whole thing is Do you want a girl someday? I actually

I am very envious Of someone like yourself Who has a wife And a kid And has a good relationship Oh really? You want an old vagina That doesn't work

It wants nothing to do with you. You want to jerk off in a fucking shed. No, I just think it's like I... I mean, he liked that box on TV. I like, no, I have the deviant mind, but I do like... That box looks gonna go into a fucking, a fight with, like a Russian. Yeah, it looks like cats is down. You can takeout.

We can change. We can all change. It's like Rocky's eye and Rocky 2. Listen. He's happy with that. He likes it to look like an old book. I like, I like, as I've gotten older, as I've gotten older, I like when I'm my ex. I was with my ex for a couple of years, and I was the first person I was monogamous with,

and I was like, very happy. Really? Yeah, I, but you didn't crave it. You know, I craved it every day. So what do you do? What do you do? That's the thing. Just go on Reddit, man. What? Reddit. What is Reddit? What is? You watch porn, but that's not how I identify. I've never watch porn on Reddit. Oh, really? It's the best. Oh, yeah. No, because I, look, I come from, I come from magazines to videos. Yeah. to the internet was red tube or shit like that yeah right and now i just type in what i want to jerk off to and it comes and then i put porn at the end yeah and then it comes up and i click until i find it and then i delete everything in case my wife wants to stay at a sheridan hotel

and a bunch of she-mail fucking videos come up yeah but like red tube is the place reddit reddit reddit yeah yeah so if you why Well, because Reddit is every page is a curated page. So, and it's very specific. So what's something you would type? She mails. No. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Ha-ha. Don't you stop. Drag me into your gooniness. I'll tell you what I like. I like, I like massage, but I like real. Yeah.

Like a chick who's like, I can't do that. Yeah. No, I'm, come on. I can't. Yeah. How much? So he types in massage reluctance. Yeah.

Oh, there would be on Reddit. I can't think of the word. Reluctant. Reluctant. I was typing rape. And it's like, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, massage would be, there would be something then.

Yeah, that is one thing when you're trying to find specific point. You do need the proper verb. The reluctant is the thing I love. You would find it immediately. You would have the, I'm sure there's a big massage subreddit and that you would, if you're willing to interact with people, like they. I have to interact with them? No. I'm just saying you type and, hey, does, like, I like this girl, like, is she in any other stuff?

And people will link you on. Or, or? I don't want to do that. I don't like to go to any. I've never been, I've been to Reddit one time. Yeah. Well, I've been to, I would say little tiny things when I had to, it would come up on how to fix a window or some stupid shit. But I've never gone to Reddit.

It's not a good category. To you? Fucking pussy. You weren't raped in Home Depot. So, I don't, you know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't like to. It's just a forum. It's just the new forum.

I don't want anybody knowing. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. You have that, they always say, uh, you have a burner account. Like you would, if you like Reddit, you would have your regular account and then you would have another one that you would have. Yeah. Like just like just porn.

Yeah. I'm too old. Just get a burner. No. Dude, I don't have to do this. There's no pressure. I started a Gmail account called POV content creator. at gmail.com because i wanted during the pandemic to titty fuck people on only fans i want to start

like i bought all these domains like uh titty fucker dot or whatever it was not titty fucker but something like that bbw titty fucker because you know i just bought a few of these domains and then i created content creator gmail dot com and i never became a porn star so i just now use p ov content creator for i sent out invoices And so these idiots might be the, oh, because he does front-facing videos. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was really my titty-fuck empire, that empire that failed. Wow.

Yeah. Pity-fuck empire. Anyway, so that's his burner account. That's, I have, yeah, that, but that's the burner. Yeah, that's the secret part of it is what fucks me up because I was a piece of shit, man. What? I was, what? Good.

Nah, dude, it got good, a lot of fun, had a great time, don't regret any of it, but there is a point where someone's like, hey, man, either you're going to go be a piece of shit or you're going to go here. I got to, I got to bail if you're going to go there. Yeah, but one might argue that your good husband, good dad now, because you went through being a piece of shit and you realize, well, I have to do the opposite to be a good. I just think that there's a, you know, there's a time where you tap out a little bit. Sure, my dad was never a piece of shit and now he's not a good father. Oh, he was a piece of shit. He searched my dick all

the time. Hey, bring in his dad. You want to know how good it? My dad was? I used to fuck him. I used to, I went to college in Arizona and I was living at his place. This is how good of a father he was. And I was downloading pictures of me sucking dick on Gmail. I didn't know about clear

cash or whatever. So he had this on his computer never told me you he was your father was sucking dick no me oh he had you sucking no i was sucking other people's dicks but i used to like people taking pictures of me sucking dick really oh so deviant so dangerous so he was also in the closet i was in the closet nobody knew not anymore no actually he just came on this is the i literally just came out on in jordan's podcast this afternoon today you came out six p m so that's why it's all just shit me in the face it's like a tsunami of queer 10 years ago 10 years ago you came out on stage really yeah why do you

fucking evil jew that's why that's what we do we do bad things and you'd never seen i said this so conier was right yeah you never see the uh you know conway he's talking about me and i would love to get your fucking evil face tattooed them my shoulder just to scare the shit out of people. Well, Ryan said the first time he mentioned it to me. He's like, he looked like the grappler. Can you pull it up, ref? The fucking...

What's that? You ever see the Jew meme? The Jew propaganda. Oh, propaganda footage? Yeah, it looks like me without the beard. I said that on Kiltonia. It fucking went crazy. I didn't like that. I don't like that. Oh, you don't like anti-Jew hate? No. No, I just

I don't like that you called yourself that. I mean, it's fine. It kills, but they're they're all like, yeah, he's an okay, fuck them. What were they like? I just don't like they're laughing at him,

like at him doing this face. It just feels like, yeah, nos ferratu. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that are you really. No,

it's not that one. It's the Jewish meme. You got to write Jewish mean grabbler. They really did fucking have some shitty things. Oh, yeah. They hated them.

Yeah, they proved it. Grabbler, yeah. that guy yeah yeah that's the one yeah wait is that the one or is that yeah that's the photo that was on your dad's computer is that you jerking off the happy merchant it's him gooning wow yeah so now's yeah so actually is

so you guys do a podcast together how you seem yeah what the fuck am I doing here yeah what's happening with you oh we're all friends yeah we're all good buddies it's like a team Canada episode we're all Canadian all Canadian yeah yeah yeah where from uh toronto uh Vancouver ish yeah Toronto so but you're not into all this crazy stuff

I would no I'm I'm I'm into it I'm into listening to them talk about it but you don't do it no I'm not I'm not he doesn't part hey you do it you have a regular yeah quote unquote yeah he was raised with Friday night dinner yeah I'm a normie so you so you're you you you want a regular relationship regular sex life you believe in romance you like Gray's anatomy I believe in romance, by the way. What? He wants a nuclear family. I flew in someone a couple weeks ago, and I took her out for brunch.

And then what did you do to her? Shit in her chest. He gave her, bought her the Plan B. I did everything. That's not. Paid for her Uber's. What? You've got her plan B, so you didn't fucking, you could just kill her baby right away?

I've just heard, I have sat with JJ when nobody knew who he was, listening to him say these things, thinking it was the funniest best thing in the world. Right. So now it's just excited. for me to listen to him, just spew filth. So you became popular. He became a big deal, this guy. Being you.

Just on a small corner of the internet. You know what I'm saying? It's not big. It's like, like, to... You're selling tickets, you know? A lot of people would love to have what, JJ. You walk around with them on the street. People are recognizing.

No, I mean, I feel lucky, but I mean, I don't know. And you get a lot of shit from people? Not so much. No? No. At first, the first video, I saw... I was in the gym and some chicks had the sweatiest pussy. And I made a video about it.

And that's how it caught. Like, he did videos, front-facing videos for shit like that for years that nobody wanted. But he's, so here's the truth. I mean, he was the one who was like the pioneer out of our friend group who became mega-fucking successful. And then everyone in our friend group. And now you have so many like the- Are you high? No, no, I'm just chilling.

He's happy. No, I'm just running. I'm just running. Yeah. You're very chill. I actually don't smoke weed. Okay, but you do drink piss. Let's not get carried away with how righteous you are.

No, but he set the standard and then a bunch of us now, out of our small comedy club, that was a 30-seater comedy club, six people from that comedy club can now sell tickets. Because? Well, I think, well, he was one huge reason. Work online. We all just started grinding. We all went in a different direction. But you guys helped each other?

Yeah, we all, we all, like, if anyone needed advice on, like, how to make something or do something, JJ opened for me on the road. Yeah, so him and Ryan Long, I had, and I said this on, you know, I had no money. I was, like, hanging on by threat. If I didn't have those guys, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be successful. Ryan Long is very successful. Yes, both these guys.

And even, too, to your point, I don't know if you remember, I was in Austin. We were doing the weekend in Austin. I went a night before to do spots, and I had some pig who I was going to fuck, like gross. And I was like, I don't have enough. You want a normal relationship. Normal relationship. But I didn't have enough money to get the hotel to, and I was like, hey, man, can you just front me the pay for the weekend? I was like, yeah, yeah, of course.

Yeah, so he not only is a good friend. He's helping, you know, making sure I'm getting my dick wet appropriately. JJ's also horrible with money. Like, he would make money. I mean, he blew a lot in crypto, a lot in poker. Yes. Really, you blew in crypto? What did you get?

Everything, everything that lost. You got any XRP? No. I'm not a part of the XRP army, but that paid off. I just saw it today. I went from like 50 cents to $3, but I get first class now, and I don't have first class money. He also would love... How do you get first class?

Upgrade. Because of what you are? No, no, I pay... I ridiculously pay... So I'll give you a perfect example. I remember you telling the story about buying a brightling. Yeah. I had $5,000 to my name.

I bought a $4,000 brightling. And then I pawned it off for rent money when I was two years into comedy. I used that money to titty-fuck escorts. and I remember you telling the Brightling story. I think your story's better. I think your story's wet because I still love by Brightling. I remember being between her tits. Yeah.

Going, I could be homeless, but this feels great. Really? Yeah. How much it goes to titty fuck somebody? I would go, so this is when you could. You want one or both? Yeah. I would say, have a second me over?

So my titty, my titty fuck hack was to get the, biggest tits on the most disgusting chicks so I could get it down to like a hundred bucks because I never had money so I would find these absolute pick one time

this little hack Titty fuck it's crazy it's like a TikTok video here's the hack you didn't know about titty fucking escorts

you should make a Tick talk about this bro I found this one chick in Montreal when I was doing 2015 my first time doing shows in Montreal it was so disgusting she was so disgusting. I called, I've told Chay this, I called my buddy Paul Thompson crying.

I'm like, I might have caught something from titty fucking her. She was so gross. She had burn marks, cigarette burn marks on her tits. It was bad. But the thing was like, I couldn't like really get hard and turned on, but my dick kept, you know, when you're starting,

your dick keeps on grown. You're like, fuck. She was gross. I hope the old era bouncers aren't watching this. Oh, to fuck me? The seller guys. The, yeah, the dudes who are the faggot, those guys, yeah.

Oh, that's definitely not. Who? It doesn't matter. You guys, are you not paying attention to the podcast that we're on? That was a good one. What was it? I didn't get it. Oh, no, I got you.

I was with you. Because I didn't get it because he scared the shit that makes me. At the end of every sentence. He tells the story. He goes like this. And he looks at me and I'm like, is he going to bite me? Is he going to titty fuck me right now? He's also very clean.

So it's crazy. You'll listen to him talk about, like, the most foul, disgusting thing. And then you'll see him in person and try to give him a hug, and he'll be like, Oh, really? Big fistbone, yeah. You don't like germs? You're a germ guy? Sergio said that to me.

We were talking, first time I'm really talking offstage. He watched me, do my act. And then he comes on after me. And he goes, he said, that guy was sucking dicks through glory hole, and he won't shake my hand. What is that? What is that? I don't know. It's weird.

Have you ever figured that out? Like, you'll let a guy put his hammer through a hole and you'll suck on it. If it's big. I'm sorry. I mean, that was offensive. That fucking hurts my feelings. But yeah, I don't know. I think it has to do...

Biology. Terrible relationship. It's so funny. I couldn't do a gloria hole because it might not go, I'd have to mush my bush fat into the hole. Bring a friend to push your ass. More! There needs to be two holes, one for your dick, one for your gut. I have to make sure the wood is quarter inch, not half inch.

Dude, some of these holes are so big. I used to get my ass eaten. I'm going to throw up. Hang on. I want to know more, but I'm going to throw up. Hang on one second. I'm going to throw up. Tell me more.

I would sleep at spa excess. There was a bathhouse in Toronto, and I didn't have anywhere to sleep, so I worked a night shift and a 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. and midnight to 7 a.m. And my parents lived all the way up, like an hour away from downtown. So I would go to this bathhouse using my $11 student card. And after I got off work, I would eat these a.

I don't know why. You would what? I would get breakfast. And then I would go in around 7.45 and go to the porn room and just stick my hole through the glory hole and beat off while someone licked my ass. And then I was slept. But what if nobody did it?

Would you feel bad? If you just had your ass in a hole 30 minutes and nobody. came by, they were just coming by like a house for sale, they'd come in and just look at the kitchen and leave. Is it like sitting on the toilet where your legs start to get numb? No, because I was like 24, 25

at the time. I was pretty hot for bathhouse quality. So, I mean, an hour away is not that far. After working all night? Dude, I'm tired. I got to drive an hour home tonight. I'm not going to talk. Have you thought about sleeping in a bathhouse instead? I'm going to stick

my ass. You can get your ass licked. I'm going to stick my through a hole downstairs in the cellar and see if Chappelle will come in and eat out. Have you ever, have you ever, have you ever done? Yeah, player. Your ass is dirty. There's toilet paper in it.

Fix it. Hey, have you ever... Are you going to ask about black guys right now? Well, no. Okay, go on. No, but that's what I'm saying. It's like, you're out of you. I feel like on the barometer of craziness,

it's you. Maybe. And then you. Yes. Because you have some type of artistic sophistication you try to sprinkle into this. No, it's He's likable. I'm not.

That's a difference. I think it's likable. Why it's not likable about you? Oh, many things. Can I start at Jew? Gay? But you... Danny's crazy, just in a different way. It's neurotic.

You're neurotic? Neurosis. Oh, God. Well, Danny wanted to play a game called Guess the Cuck. Well... What was? was it, Danny. That was it.

Guess the cuck. So in the beginning, so one, one of these three people is it's him. I mean, it's fucking him. Great game, Danny Braff. Great game. Guess the ass eater. Him.

Guess who has AIDS. Him. Guess who drank AIDS out of a dick. Him. You want to know something crazy? Guess who bought a Honda and then returned it. Him. Guess who fucks chicks out of his league.

Him. No, I mean, his league. Don't you think he's top tier? He's, he's probably, entertainer? Not to me. I do okay, but I fucked a lot of pigs. But for the cause. For the cause.

Dude, I was in one that almost made me, I'd be like, I was like, I got to fucking stop hooking up with chicks on the road. I was in Winnipeg. There's these two chicks hit me up from the night before they were at the show. And they sent me pictures. It was like, oh, they look. kind of cute. One girl was at the show and I was like, I swear she wasn't cute at the show. I swear she was ugly. But her pictures look good. And then she showed up at the hotel and I was like,

no, for sure ugly. Definitely. But she's there. I'm like, all right, so we're going to fuck. And then I fucked her and she tastes like cigarettes. Her pussy? No, well, a little both. Um, and then she had zits on her shins. Oh, she had, she just like, like, had a gut. She was like a bad spray tan. And like a bruised ankles. Yeah. She had, she had wounds that wouldn't. She had, she had wounds that wouldn't heal because of her diabetes and then she leaves and I go I had the next one coming like an hour and a half later

you had another one? Yeah and I was like okay well she's hot though and the next one comes I was like oh no just as ugly. But yeah but I'm like you're here so I fucked her too and again tastes like cigarettes and that one was like I stopped hooking up with chicks on the road. You're done? Yeah I was like

are you wearing rubbers though right? No I'm talking right now I respect both of you pieces of shit. Yeah, I can't remember the last time I work on. I mean, dude, this is fucking rock and roll. I just got my dick tested today, 45 years old. Everyone in the clinic's 22. It comes to the whole fucking man.

They thought I was the doctor. One kid goes, can you drop blood? I'm like, I'm here like you, dude. I think I've AIDS. Yeah, it was a, it's been a good 12 years. Yeah, it's been a good run. I am slow and, down now, though. A little bit? You got a girlfriend?

Yeah, I got a lady now. She must be telling you to chill the fuck out. Oh, well, I don't do anything out there, yeah, now. Jay's actually not even crazy. Like, there's this, you're in the realm. Say you one second. I just saw him drink prostate juice. I think he's just free. I think

it's different. Is that free? I think he's just free. Letting a cheek, I'm going to say something. I may be a fucking old fogany, but let a chick piss into a funnel and then me sipping it until I throw up and then taking another I don't know. Hey, I don't know. Hey, I don't know. Call me crazy. Yeah, maybe you're right.

But I look, I'm fine with it. But that's not. That's not typical. To be honest with you, I think the Toronto boys, we are crazy, but we're all very classy. Yeah, I think we're classy. You stuck your ass in a fucking hole. A little random guy just eat out your shitter. You didn't even shower. But we like you up all night. I did shower. Oh, you did? Of course. I apologize. He likes a nice restaurant.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we eat food. So is the guys that eat his ass. I didn't have a bull ass. What? I did. They take a few licks. They're like, Ruth's Chris.

One, two, three. So do you have a... It's so funny that you just stuck you. They have an asshole. Like a glory hole for your ass. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was big. It was big.

Thanks, dude. Well, because I think... Did you think I call them an asshole? I could. No, I didn't under... No, you're right. I didn't get. at the reference. I couldn't stand. He looked like a bewildered dog.

Stupid. I'm an idiot. No, I don't think you're an idiot. They have those, well, people would, it was at the bathhouses, so people would fuck through the glory. What is a, the bathhouse is like a, like a Russian spa? But for catching HIV. Oh, God, what? At that point? Is it a lot of HIV? Bro, we were at the New York East Village spa, and you were in the sauna, and this guy comes down.

Have you been to the East Village? I have. Yeah, so this guy comes down, hey, we go. You're gay now. Well, no, it was Colette Day. No, this is different. Those girls there. Yeah, this is like, that's an actual spa.

The place I was going to was not. It was a hookup place. But some guy came running down because there are some gay guys at that spa. And they're like, no masturbated in the, in the sanas. And you popped your head out. And he was like, what do you say? Do you remember that? Oh, yeah.

What this guy yelling about? And he said, yeah, masturbating. People were masturbating. They have a men's day there before noon on Sunday. Sundays. That's the gay day. I don't know. Oh, he knows the clock, dude.

I knew one to avoid. It's a good one. Thank you. Yeah, I had a really funny. This is a much more mundane story relative to everything else. But I had to stop going there because I used to get plazas where they would hit you with the leaves. Yeah, yeah. And I had to stop getting them because they would really chafe my nipples.

And the guy was like, they was like, why you know come for plaza? And I was like, I can't get them because like they chafe my nipples. And he's like, just say, avoid nipples. And I was like, I can't say that. Like, I'm just not going to get the plaza. Avoid nipples. Does the plaza work? Does it do stuff?

It cures you of your mental anguish. Yeah. I mean, dude, they're like beating you for 15 minutes in 180 degrees. Well, they scrub you with a bunch of shit, and then they show you how much dead skin you lose. And I love that. Yeah. They'll put like a pound of skin. They had a girl come in, this hot blonde in a bikini, and they did the plato on it.

And they beat her top off. And we were all, it was just all guys with the towel. and the buckets of water just waiting for that last knot to undo and they flipped and it fell off and it all over and then a fucking little

A cup titties we were like, yeah. That's when you pull that one. That was pretty hot. But now they had, so you worked at the gay salon? No. I was getting my ass eaten

and beaten off of one. He had $11 on his student card. No, the student rate was $11 at the time. His student discount. Pass out there and then I would wake up. at like one under 18 gets in for free no not there so

your podcast is about what about this is that what is that what it is we interview like a lot of like only fans chicks porn stars and we get some pretty wild stories out of them cool I think it's cool stories yeah and I mean sometimes it is like about like porn and that kind of stuff but like

Eva Angelina she told us some like wild stuff about doing ayahuasca Alexis Fox told us she did ayahuasca like every week for a year so you're you're like in the porn in business, but on the adjacent comedy. We're entertainers. We're doing comedy work. But, but

in like the porn niche. In the porn niche. They're like the Ryan Seacrests of only fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. That's a good way to put it. I don't know. I feel like we're doing what, so like does your mom mind all this stuff? I don't talk to my mom. Like I said, I did. She does. My mom. She told me to talk you. If my mother knew what I did, she would have a fucking heart of time. Your mother doesn't know? No. I'm going to If you don't eat my ass in a hole

She hates the fact of my existence She doesn't like you I mean, you've met me 45 minutes ago What do you think? I'll be honest with you It's the longest 45 minutes I think you're a guy who kind of accepted yourself Yeah

And decided to be you Even though you're a fucking weird, creepy Holy shit guy And you have fun I think they came from a time of boomers And they'd be, they're embarrassed Oh, if you were my son, I'd disown you. I'm just that I wouldn't talk to you.

If my wife did, I'd fire, I'd fucking divorce. Although my dad's super cool with it. Is he cool? Well, they're divorced, but my dad's a conservative dude. Like, not conservative voting, like, conservative like, I don't know, but he used to be a gambler and stuff like that. But he's totally on board with us. He's happy.

Does he know it all, though? Well, he saw pictures of me sucking dick on his computer and he never said anything. No, never talked about it. Although he once snuck in, this is how good of like a pops he is. yeah pops that I call it like

yeah that's cute but I I told him never to come watch me because we never talked about

the gay stuff but I kind of thought he knew I was doing a spot in Vegas at the dirty at 1230 400 people yeah

and I didn't want him to come 1230 at night my ex told him where it was he snuck in to watch it at like this is an old guy

snuck in at like 1 in the morning or 12 30 in the morning to watch it and then like is that from your asshole but yeah

do you have fly asses and he watched it and then do you guys talk about it no no he just was so proud he was like he was like oh that was so good i mean look dude if i found out my son was gay or he was getting his ass eating a thing and doing all kinds of crazy shit with dudes i would fucking kill him you should no i wouldn't give me shit i don't monetize that no but i but i put it on the internet though so i mean yeah i mean listen dude you put you sucking dick on the

internet to make money. Would you, would you do porn? He did. I sold a couple of my dickpicks to make... No, I know, but with your fate. How much are they? Can I buy one? Yeah, I've been, uh, how much?

I'll give you $20 for a dick pick. Industry, industry, industry. I'm going to hang it up in here. I'll give you the one with the... I want to take one of these fucking drawings out of here and just put a dick pick. Can we do the one with the, uh, I have the eggplant covering it? You have an eggplant covering your dick? Yeah, well, I say for work one.

It's me just in front of a mirror with the eggplant. No, that's not gone. But yes, yes, to monetize. All right, listen. I got, so Danny, Danny, do you want to play another game? We don't have to. Did you expect this podcast to be this, or Hugh had no idea? Did they not warn you?

Well, he's crazy too. I know him. He showed, no, he told me a little bit about you, but I didn't want, I didn't go through your stuff on Instagram or anything too much because I wanted to just yap with you first. I like that. I didn't want to, I don't, when I have new people on, I just want to hang out and let you do your thing and see how we hang. I guess we could do it. The game was, we all have prepared, we all prepared.

What? You interrupted a little. What are you laughing at? Danny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have prepared things that we just kicks in. Yeah. I'll speak now. The conversation, such, the nicest thing.

Someone who, like I said, I mean, I was, I'm influenced by like, I hate to, like, again, say this, but your crew of comedy. was a huge influence when I started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like massive influence, so. Yeah, they were, I mean, the people I came up were pretty fucking good. Yeah. They were talented assholes.

And, yeah. Yeah, they were good. I was very lucky. I came up with two crews. I came up with Norton, uh, Colin, Voss, Patrice, Burr, Dane, but I also came up with, you know, Jay, uh, soda, you know, uh, P. Correlli, Godfrey. You know what I mean?

But yeah, it was the Boston. Yeah, I was with these guys because I came in with them. But I also was like the Corielli's, the Godfries, the Steve Byrne, the Dove Davidoff. Those are my kind of my contemporaries as my age. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then I came up with the sodas, the Liss Gomez, Stavros. I kind of always went down to who's the next motherfuckers because I love like the way

the next group of people. You know what I mean? I loved hanging out with those. Well, they're pushing culture, right? Like, well, they were different. It was just, it was, it was like, okay, I hung out with Norton and Voss and Patrice on Open Anthony. And it's, it's the major leagues at that time.

You're going in, you better have the right clothes on. You better be ready to go. And you better be ready to take it. Yeah. It was more so to give it. You had to be more, you had to take it, which a lot of comics don't know how to take it. They get very fucked up If they're taking a pounding on something

They get hurt and blah blah And I didn't say anything Like we I'm just looking That was a major thing with dog But then you're not with like Steve and Pete and Godfrey

Those are the guys I hung up with here And we'd do shows And we'd get fucking chicks And do all kinds of stupid shit But you never did the Brazil trips right No but I did that with them Oh you did two of them Was it amazing

Um It was We were just talking about that with stupid Keith. I've told the story a million times. It was because we called it the Matrix. Because everybody had their own thing that we did. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the Patriots would go there and pretend like he was the mayor.

Like, he would have little kids following around. He'd pay the money and he'd take girls shopping and buy them TVs and shit. Like, he pretended like they were the girlfriend. He was like some type of pimp. You know, I would go and I would pretend like I was some. you know, spy. I was in town for a couple days for something. You know what I mean?

And like, Norton would just be just a creep and wouldn't come out until the sun went behind the favelas, like Count Dracula. And they come out with an Aussie shirt and jorts and try to get his dick sucked, you know? And Keith was just a miserable, wretched fucking piece of shit

who would try to snap us out of it. We pretended like these girls liked us because they did. Like, Brazilian prostitutes like you. Like, it's a job. They're coming up. out of the jungles to come here seriously they're out in the jungles and they're coming into rio because this is a way to make money for their family and they'll come in and so they're at a table

and they were like you know what i i like him you know what i mean like they'd be like and they hey hi they wave to you and if you didn't if you were like fuck off they go to i'll go with him then like i had girls be like look i like you i want to be with you all week if you while you're here but if you don't like me, I'm going to have to go to somebody else, but I'd like to be with you all week because I think you're cute. And you're like, fuck yeah. It's like a, we called it a girlfriend. You have girlfriend experience. We all had

girlfriends for the week, but then we would go with other girls at night like during the day or at night. And then when it's time to go to sleep, your girlfriend would show up at the hotel and spend the night. And that's you kind of. So, but stupid Keith would snap

you out of the, like, ah, she's a hooker, stupid. She was nothing to do with you. You know, so I remember I was telling this to somebody today. And I had this blonde girl. So you go out in front of the hotel. There's it called Mia Bataka. It's just a restaurant. And you go out there for breakfast, lunch, dinner.

And it was awesome. It's like rice and chicken and eggs. It was fucking just the best food. Coffee. So we would go out there and hang out. But circling were prostitutes. And they would circle Mia Pataka. And they couldn't come in unless you waved them in like,

fucking vampires I was like they have all these little weird rules that the hotels have you know what I mean so you'd see a smoking chick and you'd wave her in and she'd come and have sit with you and she would just talk to you and she'd be focused on you and blah blah blah

and then you work out the money and then you go and fuck that sounds amazing there was this blonde girl that I she wouldn't even wave at me for like four days like she'd want and I was in I mean just fucking in love finally there's a we call the

panty lady, she walks around with sticks with little panties on it because all the girls knew new panties because they're banging all day. So I bought America flagged panties and I sent them over to her and she was like she waved and I was like, come here and she came over and we're all sitting together and I'm talking to her for like an hour

I bought her lunch and we just talk and making her laugh. She barely speaks English or whatever she'd get to this and Keith's like, man, she's a hook of stupid. She doesn't like you dumb dumb and I'm like, shut up man, she likes me. He's like, she's a right to her face

and she's still laughing and I'm like do you like him he goes he goes I'll fuck it right now he goes I go would you go with him she's like no everybody laughs I go you like me yes I like Bobby yeah so I'm like okay so we're hanging out a little more I'm gonna go I'm gonna take you out to dinner

and I'm gonna take you shopping I'm doing all this fantasy shit so I go up I change into my nice clothes I put cologne on I come back like maybe 35 minutes later and everybody's gone like there's nobody at this restaurant. And I'm like and there's a Chinese dude there. He goes, yeah, man, you look

for your friends? I'm like, yeah. He goes, that black dude, you took that chick, he was sent with, took her to the hotel to fuck her. As soon as I left, he went and he wrote, you get the hand and she, he's like 150. He's like, no, he wrote 200. He said, okay, she fucking took him

but he goes, I took her back to the hotel and she, I fucked the shit out of her, but I made him put your panties on. He goes, Nah, put those panties on. So she had to put the American flag panties I bought her that made the connection. I just, I remember sitting there eating chicken and rice by myself, all dressed up.

And I was, I was legitimately hurt, like, sad, because I thought this chick liked me. But, yeah, it was, it's a crazy place. Oh, that sounds, oh, to do that. But it's very dangerous, dude. I heard it's so dangerous. You, you'll get fucking. Well, they're telling, I watch you mad at him. No, you can't be.

No, she's a hooker. Yeah, but. Listen, she's a whore. She probably... Not her. Were you mad at Keith? No, it's hilarious. What a piece of shit.

That's what I mean about being sensitive. You can never... Those guys, it's like you can never... Well, I think what's good about comedy and stuff is it's like you really are seeing the way the world really works. Like, you have to see what's actually true. If you don't accept things about the way you look, that's when you get destroyed. Yeah. Well, yeah.

I mean, I agree with that. Yeah, you have to know you're a bull. shit. And that's why I think good comics let you know that. I would still be fucking a stool if Patrice didn't make fun of me. Bobby fucked this goddamn stool. Probably be married to the Brazilian. He said, I'm going to get AIDS from Bobby's stool

because he fucked it. Yeah, and then you stop doing it. You know what I mean? I mean, we smashed Patrice out of his stupid joke jokes. He was doing that. What he? Come on a girl's eye, kick her in the shin. Oh, that was on the Just for Laft's nasty show where he does. He did a bunch of stupid college dude jokes And we were like, you fucking loser

He did that close out the JFL nasty show But his whole set was unbelievable And he did with that And people were like standing Yeah, he was fucking murdering, yeah So But yeah, that's, you know, I think it's good But I also love, I like, you know

I like this podcast Because I always have the next generation The next guys on And I, it's, I feel like I'm not that I'm proud But you guys are such pieces of shit You know what I mean? like even Danny's friends that he's brought on

they're just fucking mean vicious I love that pieces of shit to each other and I think that's funny because we can't you know we can't what Colin Quinn said

it cools the enemy of funny you know once we're cool we're done don't you don't you feel though that's been a weird thing that that some comics have become cool and it's like I feel like that's a scary thing

no no I think some people do it but then they just become unfunny. Yeah. Yeah, and you'll notice that. I mean, you'll see guys killing it and then all of a sudden they're cool, too cool for school. And then they're fucking kind of like, all right, whatever. Yeah, but very boring. It doesn't make them not famous anymore. Yeah, it just gets boring. We're fucking cattle, dude. People go where they're told moo. Ah, we're supposed to like him. He's the same fucking culture as us. Go see the auto blow guy.

Go see the ass window eating Nobody's saying that Anyways, all right, listen Danny, what was the other thing You were going to say? We all prepared things that we think or thought Or have done that are perverted And we're going to ask JJ if that makes us a pervert

That's a good one That's cool, yeah, yeah So me, Zach, Bobby and Joel And while we do it maybe Che and Dan can think of one too Okay, here we go Uh, yeah, why are you bringing this up to distract everybody? Okay.

Who is doing that? Zach, can you move that back over? Zach, can you not do that right now? All right. So what, you fucking z? Uh, I don't you know we're all autistic? You bring something I was really, we're just staring at dates now. Uh, okay, ready? Who goes first?

I'll go first. Joe, all right, go ahead, Danny. Um, I, uh, was sleeping on a couch, uh, and then I wake up, uh, and my, I'm, I'm rock hard, and my couch is in between the couch cushions, uh, when I woke up. So then I just continued and fucked the couch. Did you ejaculate? Did you finish? Hold on.

Hold on. We need to explain something to Bobby here. And a lot of JJ's Instagram is he opens every video by saying, I'm not a pervert, but. And then he'll say something extremely perverted. So I think what Danny's pitching here is his Instagram. So he's the king of perversion. We'll say, and he'll tell us if it is or not. I just think I am a one.

Right. But I don't think I'm a king of it. Well, I would. I don't think. I think the crown back if you don't want it. I think that... If you don't want the crown, I'll take it back. I don't want a crown.

Really? Do you want a hat? King Gunner? I like to be like... Would you like a hat? Like a little Jewish hat? Sure. I would like...

Yamacupurv. Yamacaburv. Yeah, you're the... Yamacabur. Nuzzle tough. I don't... I don't think that's perverted. I think that's garden variety being horny,

just trying to stick your meat somewhere. Okay. And satiate it. Dude, the first time I ejaculated... Yes. was into a hospital glove. What? That's pretty amazing.

What's the background to get it? What? How did you get the hospital glove? Because they're chalky. I've tried hospital gloves. You don't want the crown? I guess I have to take it. Hospital gloves.

So it is chalky, right? I don't really remember. I just remember that I'd never really masturbated before. Latex or non-latex? uh probably latex why did you do it I just had it

I was I was a late bloomer I was probably 13 or 14 maybe 15 and I had it in my in my bathroom for some reason I just like kind of used it to jerk off you put it around your dick

and like jerked off into it yeah yeah I don't think that's perverted I think that's curious I don't think it's anything I just felt like for once I had something

did it yeah got it wow Oh, it was in the thump. That's the Haitian. Joe, what do you got? Yeah, black reflexes.

There you go. Joe, what do you got? For my wife's birthday, I bought her some sexy goth boots, and then she made me take them back. Yeah, you're a pervert. You wanted to see her wear them? Like, what do you mean? Yeah, and she didn't like him at all, and so I quickly went on my phone. The story is about something else.

I canceled the choker. where we say you you wanted her to dress up as a joker and like is that what it was what's that a joker he said choker oh you want to choker no no no no no you want to wear a choker a choker like the goth boots and the choker oh i don't think that's perverted i do think a choker is very hot it just seems like a fucking slut yeah it is a slutty sign when she's got a choker but not perverted yeah okay okay um i fuck my grandmother That's pretty awesome What a piece of shit you are

No I'm sorry Nan God forbid The Brazil stuff is very perverse Which is but Here's the thing with me All my stuff was romantic Spy

You know what I mean Like I love secret James Bond Cool This would This would a This would a

I couldn't imagine This what a loser I am I remember I put the robe on Yeah And I was looking out the window At like you know that Rio Beach right there looking out the window and I had

and I remember that they would send the girls up and the door knocked and I kind of looked at my watch I was like James Bond and I closed the thing and she came in I made her wash God thank God for Keith I made her wash me in a tub I would say that's perverted

yeah that's perverted that's pretty sick I'll tell you I'll tell you what I did I had a girl who was into, she, she wanted me to break into her basement. She lived in the basement with her family. She was, you know, she actually had a kid. She was like 25, 26. Very hot.

Yeah. Very hot. And she was like, I want you to break in. And I have this, she had a dull knife. And she goes, I want you to take me. But you have to use this dull knife. Wow. And make me do things.

but here's the thing we did all this weird shit like she blew me in front of a friend she wanted to blow like she liked one of my friends and like she showed up he showed up one night and um

I was like you like him too she goes yeah but I like you more but I want to suck your dick in front of them like that type of girl and but we never ever had intercourse

really we so what did you do when you broke in with a doll knife We may know I am us Finger her with the black gloves on She blew What

I'm a fucking cat purgher I'm not a jewel thief I'm just I'm just a pervert Breaking in But yeah she We did all kinds of stuff She blew me in like a Dunkin' Donuts

Drive-thru Oh that's pretty cool But we never had intercourse And we were on and off for years Like two years Wow that's crazy And she net I never pan-in't

I never put my penis in her to John. Why? We just, it was, it was the most intense. It was the most intense sexual relationship. One of them that I've ever had and all kinds of crazy weird stuff. We just didn't need to get, I think, because she had a kid. Yeah. And I didn't want a kid.

And that, and intercourse is the end. Yeah, yeah. You understand? It kind of, there's always something to chase. It's the end. Yeah. And we just never wanted to get to the end. And there was so much...

No, no, no. ...drinking her squirt is the end. That's the end. That's the beginning. I used to make documentaries about restaurants. I still kind of do a few of them. And one of the best chefs I ever worked with was a guy in London at a restaurant. It was an African tasting menu.

And he would never try the final dishes because he felt like if he tried everything once it was on the plate together, that he wouldn't be as excited about making it. No. Yeah. I look back at that relationship and it's one of the greatest sexual. Because here's the thing, too. You can only have sex.

There's certain people that you are meant to fuck. I agree with that. There's certain people you're meant to fuck. Their vagina is made for your dick. I agree with that. And you put it in. You put it in and you love them. And as soon as it's out, you're like,

I don't want to be around you. There's this chick I fucked years ago, and you had crazy, crazy, crazy sex. And she was, like, kind of hit me up. She was like, oh, what are you up to tonight? And I was like, I shouldn't fuck this chick because we, like, worked in the same space. And so I was like, I don't want to fuck her.

She's like a colleague. And then she was like, oh, what are you doing tonight? And I was like, oh, I went to go to a spot. And this girl was there who I had fucked before. And I was like, oh, shit. And I tried to like kind of mac her. And she was like, oh, I can't tonight. Like, I got to go.

And then the show starts and a different girl I fuck showed up. And I start macing her. And she was like, I can't, I got to go. And I was like, it's the pussy's in the air. And so then I text this girl being like, hey, actually, do you want to go grab a drink? She's like, I can be at this place in 20 minutes. And then, fuck, yeah. It was like, I knew the signs.

The omens were telling me to fuck this girl. Those are great. Yeah, yeah. It was great. All right. Well, listen. Jake wasn't even there. We're going to wrap it up.

We're going to go to Patreon. I can't believe, by the way, I was like, let me, I really want to remember the name of the restaurant just so I don't miss the plug for them. And then I was like, nobody, there's going to be zero overlap for African tasting menu in London Patrons. I would love to do that. Let's go. Tasting menu? Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Patreon.

Anyways, we're gonna we're gonna wrap this up. Yeah, a nice booty hole tasting menu. Go to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly. All my dates. I have one date this summer. I take the summer off. I got one in Portland, man, the 25th and 26. And that's it. You'll be able to see me maybe a couple times

Tuesday night at the Fat Black to do my little, my little hour there that I do. But again, I'm taking that off, too. All of August, I'm done. So go to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly and watch my special over there too

and watch my special on YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly comedy. Guys, what else we got? What do you guys got? Oh, what do I got coming up? I'm going to be hosting the nasty show at Just for Laughs. I'm going to...

You're hosting the nasty show? Yeah, I'm hosting that. You're that sick? It's my favorite. Dude, yeah. It's my first time. Yeah. I'm excited for that.

That's fucking sick, dude. Denver comedy works in August and then I think any other dates go to Chateran.com you can find out, brother. Daniel, Janine on Instagram I just signed up for punch-up. What's your name?

G-E-N-E-E-N is my last name. Canine? Like Garaphalo? Like Garafelow, yeah. J.J. Lieberman live on Instagram. I actually was supposed to be in Florida next week but I canceled because I'm going to get hernia surgery from fucking that 21-year-old.

I fucked my hernia really bad. You really had to end the show on that, huh? I mean, you had it end on some fucking terrible things. Wait, that, you blame the sexual experience with her for the hernia? Oh, when I fucked her. She actually... So funny to hear somebody talk dirty with a Canadian accent. When I fucked her.

When I fucked her, uh, made it... I was like holding off and not gonna do it. Belly button? She had a belly button ring. Oh, no, it's inguinal. Oh. By the way, there's so many aspects of JJ that you didn't quit. You don't even know. Oh, you'll be back on. Okay. I will have all three you fucking lose. Oh, second. Yeah, this is fine. I really enjoyed this weirdness. You know, uh, I, uh, I really enjoyed this weirdness. You know, uh, I

I was like, this is great. I didn't realize how fucking quick you are. Yeah, Janine's got Zingers. Yeah, I'm a zinger's guy. I'm a point, and I'm a sniper. Yeah, so very sniped. Yeah. Very little charisma, but good, uh...

I think you're good charisma. Thanks. No, I think you're great, dude. And then our podcast, Two Goons podcast, if you want to see the industry leading whores get interviewed. And then that... Got some good ones coming up. We got Joanna Angel, who I drank her piss.

Yeah. She actually tells a crazy story. about going to a porn convention in Helsinki, where a dude who's dressed as Jesus got pegged by a lady who is dressed as the devil as she ate the Bible. Yeah. You guys are going on. Exactly.

Yeah. I mean, what the fuck? I will say one quick thing for the podcast. I did mention this on your podcast, but as I said, I tried not to watch porn. And their clips come up sometimes, but it's got JJ's face enough in it. So it's not. It ruins it. It doesn't really turn you on too much.

Right. Because every time you see a nice pair of tits, JJ's just like, so tell me more of it. about Winnipeg. Danny, what are you got? Follow me on Instagram and come to Comedy at Verve and Summerwood, New Jersey, the third Thursday of every month. Joe, what are you got? August 13th, I'm headlighted at Uncle Vitties.

It's a Wednesday. Come and watch every joke I've ever written. Zach? You can follow me on Instagram at Zachary Unlimited, and my perverted thing was I got a handjob behind a dumpster at the Jersey Shore and came on the back of the dumpster. I think people understand how... How funny is it that we forgot, Zach? I want to be included.

You also had a Patreon submitted one that I was going to read off, but we didn't do that either. Okay, we'll read it on the Patreon. Right now, we're going to go to patreon.com. We've got some questions for you guys. So if you want to be part of the Patreon as fucked up questions to these people, go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, become a member, support the show. Make sure you support the sponsors, like, comment, and do all that stuff. And subscribe.

God damn it. Stop watching the videos and not subscribing on YouTube. Go and subscribe right now. We're going to patreon.com right now. Thank you very much. See you next week. You know what, dude.