Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #600 | Josh Wolf, Rich Vos, KP Burke | 5 A** Hairs

Episode Date: August 17, 2025

Josh Wolf, Rich Vos, and KP Burke join the pod this week. Josh share's crazy stories of starting comedy w/ Joey Diaz and they all talk about beef with the same comic.Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/y0k6ofda#CashAppPodYou Know What Dude Cash App August 17 Code FAMILY10Cash App Podcast Talking Points - 2025 PARENTS Teen-Focused ToolsAs a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign upfor a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform,not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bankpartner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC.Visit https://www.cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Get 10% Off your entire order & take advantage of Ridge’s Annual Sweepstakes by going to https://www.Ridge.com/DUDE #RidgepodNO PURCH. NEC. Open to legal residents of 50 US/DC, Canada & the UK, age maj.+. Void were prohibited. Begins 8/1/25 and ends 9/15/25. 2 winners selected. Max Prizes total ARV: $380,000 USD / approximately $516,000 CAD / £306,800. Canadian skill-testing question required. Subject to Rules, including free entry method & odds: ridge.com/rules. Sponsor: The Ridge Wallet, LLC.AUCUN ACHAT NÉC. Ouvert aux résidents autorisés des 50 É.-U./D.C., du Canada et du R.-U., âge de maj.+. Nul là où interdit. Débute le 01/08/25, se termine le 15/09/25. Sélection de 2 gagnants. VDA totale max. des prix : 380 000 $ US / ~516 000 $ CA / 306 800 £. Question d’habileté mathématique (Canada) req. Sujet au règlement, incluant méthode de participation gratuite et chances de gagner : http://ridgewallet.ca/rules. Organisateur : The Ridge Wallet, LLC. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, I hope you're ruining this. Where's the Bargana, man.

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I have an amazing show tonight. right now on Patreon. If you're watching this on YouTube, you didn't see it live, and you didn't get to ask questions. So if you do, go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You get it live. You get an extra episode a week, and you get to ask questions. We ask them to the person. Just get started already.

Can you say, well, apparently you know that. Kurtzimudgeon fucking old asshole is. Danny, who do we have? Do you have Josh Wolfe on the podcast for the first time? Very nice guy. First time. What a fucking talent. And what a good person.

And returning is K. P. Burke and Richfaw. Another great guy, K.P. Burke. And then the other one. You're really a fucking dickhead. You cannot not have the fucking limelight. I did. I just say, get started. Time is money. First of all, nobody's getting paid.

Obviously, not with this fly-by-night podcast. Fly-by-night. I've been doing it longer than Rogan, for God's sake. Oh, yeah. And that's not something I would brag about, dude. How long have you been doing this? I've been doing it longer than anybody And I still don't make money

I still don't make any money Me and Bonnie had to quit after 11 years I go we don't have any reads Did you do it 11 years? Yeah 11 years and not what we had one guess Florentine I did it No you did it live First of all I helped you start the podcast

Yeah thank you And I helped you produce I produced it live The live shows yes Which it should have been done mostly. Well, the live was with a comic as our marriage counselor. You should have did a season, 12 episodes, live, everyone, film them. I should have stayed single.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, what I should have done? I should have hung with a better crew of comics, all right? Now, when you fucking zeros, all right? There's a lot of things. I should have, I should have graduated high school, okay? That's not a shoulda. He couldn't.

Yeah. You could have got better friends. Fucking dumb, dumb. I really. You ever sit around with three headliners? I have, sir. By the way, it's a Tuesday night. I can headline a Tuesday.

Where? Uncle Vinnie's. You're back, kid. You're back in. You've got a nice hot boot on Uncle Vinnie's. What? Did you really? I think everybody does at some point, right? No.

No. No, none of us. yeah we've all dino's always used us how did you what how did you get booted out uh i want have taken a don't tell the story yeah you're gonna get booted again dumb you're right you're right you're right that's a good uh you say it was your fault i had a disagreement with management judge yeah um and now we came to my senses and now i'm happy to be back now josh yeah listen man first of all i didn't know you're from boston yeah i'm from amherst i didn't fucking know that yeah yeah yeah yeah did you how come i didn't know you coming up in the business

Because I started, when I started, I started in Seattle, because Seattle was one of the places where I knew, they didn't do like five minute sets. You went and got 15 minutes. Right. And so I started there with Joey Diaz and Brody Stevens and, uh, Joey Diaz started in Seattle? Yeah, yeah, and Mitch Hedberg was circling around up there. Right. And so we all got like, instead of hustling and being on a list with that many people doing five minutes, we could go get 10 or 15 minutes, six months into the game. Did you work for that crazy fuck Terry?

up there? No, at Giggles? Yeah. Yo, do you know what he used to do? So, Terry used to... Who is this? At Giggles. He owned Giggles. And he would... So he would fly people in, and then he would be like, he'd bring them to his house and put him on the couch. And he'd be

like, I didn't get you a hotel. And if you don't like it, you can fly home or you can stay on the hotel, on the couch, or you can get your own hotel. That didn't happen with me. He used to fuck the people. Is that the place with Billy Burrow complained about where the guy was the guy would

busing tables or something he would take the tickets at the door then he would bust the tables he would be the waiter he had to do it he'd pick you up in the truck with dog hair all over the place I never I didn't have to stay in his house

but when I was working in the beginning Jeff Dye was doing guest spots in Seattle yeah he was from Seattle I remember he'd come on and do a guest spot and the guy was completely nuts we performed at the comedy underground the original comedy underground to me

still the best club i've ever performed at i think it's where stanhope recorded his first hour but it was one of those clubs it was in the basement and you know the ceiling was maybe a foot and a half above your head right you used to be able to smoke wow and so by the late show there was like a film of yeah just smoke in the basement but i remember the cellar used to be able to smoke yeah used to go downstairs and talking to the microphone dumb dumb yeah i did it's a fucking microphone. We used to go downstairs because the guy who owned the place was an ex-minor league baseball player

and so this was back before phone, cell phones. So the Yankees or whatever team was in town would come over and drink at the bar and we we would do ecstasy and shit with the players in the basement. I'm not going to say his name, but there was one Yankee. He touched you? No.

One time, it was like two in the morning. Derek Cheater. And he was like, if I take this next hit of ecstasy, I'm not playing tomorrow. And they were like, take it you pussy. And he didn't play the next day. Really? Howard Truddery. No,

no. Babe Ruth. Yeah, it was. Luke Eric. You killed Luke Harry. We did kill him. There's no disease. He just took too much access to see.

Put the final nail on that coffin. I didn't know that. You came up with Diaz? I thought Diaz was L.A. No. Seattle. Seattle. Me him and Brody, Seattle.

Get the. Brody Stevens. Yep. So funny. So fucking funny. So, one of my favorite. Okay. He used to just try to do jokes.

And he suppressed. that his personality and then one night the first night we saw him snap he was bombing in the way only brodie knew how to bomb and he said everybody if i seem stressed out it's because i am do you know how hard it is for a single man who lives by himself to shave his own back and he goes i got trouble spots and he lifted up his shirt and there were just patches of hair all over his back and he but he started snapping more and more on stage Which made him so fun. I think he used to bark at Boston Comedy Club.

Yeah. He used to, he was so fucking funny. Oh, my God. I think I remember that. He used to bark out front after Lewis. After Lewis Schaefer, then Brody started barking there. That's how I... And Brody, I mean, it was so funny watching him bomb because he was so funny, but no one got it.

No one got it. You know what I mean? It's like... Well, he would go on stage and quote his GPA from Arizona State. He would talk about, he would be like, he would quote his GPA at Arizona State. He would talk about apple cider vinegar. He just, a lot of benefits, a lot of money. And he would just tell people you should be laughing at my cadence alone.

He was, do you remember Jay London? Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's very similar. He was a cab driver, Jay London. He was? He would pull up in front of Boston in his cab. Yeah, run out.

No. Jump on stage. And then we go. He'd tell a joke, he'd be like, oh, no, bomb. He'd go, kick me in the face. Sir, could you kick me in the face, please? Yeah. Just come up on stage and right in the face.

Just kick me for that last joke. I'm going to kill myself after this set. He would say that a million. After a while, you're like, you probably are. After last comic, he was on the second seat. He did well, you know, he went on tour with those guys, Alonzo or whatever. Then all of a sudden he disappeared. He just disappeared.

Jay London? Yeah. Yeah, I wonder where he went. Well, you know, Paul. Holly is doing that show at the comedy store now where he's bringing back old, old comedy store comics. Right. And Jay London did a set.

No shit. Really? Recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's happening with the comedy store right now? What do you mean? They have a new booker. Well, they got a new book out, right?

Yep. But it's like, okay, for me when I live there, it was kind of the not, like, the improv and the laugh factory was the thing. And I always love the comedy store the most Because it reminded me of the seller Remind me the Boston comedy They reminded me in New York club, right? In L.A.

And then, you know, of course, years later, you know, all these guys, they start doing the stuff. I mean, I remember going there on a Saturday night It wouldn't even have the Big Root open. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Red was around there, too. So it was like weird. Now you go back and Rogan and all those guys

and, you know, Tony and I mean, everybody was at you go down there now. It was like, holy shit. this is a revival this is the way the club should be and then all those guys left to go to austin yeah so who's there now i remember one time being there and it was you asking him that question oh yeah oh no he doesn't wear headphones so he doesn't hear me i was like i know you're looking at me looking ready oh no no no i was going to throw in i was going to help him to go to you I was helping him to go to you.

Yeah. It's like literally talking right to the face. Oh. So. I think that I know. I was like we've locked eyes for this entire question. I was so waiting for your answer. And then he went, I remember.

Oh, shut up. Are you going to sing? I can't if you want to go. I heard you got a good voice. Not terrible. Not terrible. I used to. I don't like that you go.

You got sexy on that. You got Elvis. Go ahead for that. It's a comedy story. Here's the thing. When Rogan and all those guys left, I think there was a dip just because when all those people who sell tickets leave, obviously there's going to be. But only two left.

Rogan and Tony, right? Yeah, but a lot of things happened at once. So Rogan left. Tony left. Look, Delia used to sell tickets. When he was on the, right? And so go on. And people like Ali Wong don't allow her name to be on the marquee.

Because she could sell theaters out. Why should she have people? Right, right. So there were some things, but right now. And why does Norton do it? Huh? Because. But right now it's back, man.

It's back. You got down there. You got Santino, you got Lee, Bobby Lee. But Pete Holmes is down there. I think Pete Holmes is funny. I know. I couldn't even tell you. Mark Maron's down there.

Mark's funny. Who's that? Exactly. I'm kidding. But there's... He just went on and he hates. I mean, he hates. But here's the thing.

People should not take offense to Mark Maren hating on all that shit. He didn't like it here. He used to fucking trash me and Godfrey because we were so loud. And we would, you go, why do you have to scream? He's a fucking old Jew broad, and I'm a Jew. Yeah, me too. It's just Marin. He's fucking, it's Maron.

One night I came off stage at a festival or something, and he goes, oh, you do do material. Like, he thought all I did was crowded. I go, first of all, I'll follow him any day or week. But it's Marin. That's what he does. His own psychosis. Yeah, but don't go after.

Comics should not go after other comics. just it's all you do but here's it's so you're not you've never been nice to me because you're not really a comic you're more of a novelty act you fucking bodak

I should be taking dramamine right now fucking cumberman why didn't make that three words drama me because it's the most Filipino pronunciation I'm a black comic now

okay I'm with you man honestly Who gives a fuck what anybody else does? Just entertain the people who come to see you. Shut the fuck up. That's because you started using the guitar. Listen.

That's true. But here's the thing. I didn't use a guitar for so long. Yeah. Because I was out of point. Yeah, because of other comics. And then finally it got to an age where I was like, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

And the truth of the matter is, I'll tell you the best, the worst part about what I've done for my business. Right. Is that I'll do one. If I do five shows a week. weekend. One is just all stories. One might be all crowdwork. One might be just the guitar. I'm doing things that I like to do. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Is that effect? But here, I love that. Not good for my business. I get fucking scared because these people are coming to see a certain something they saw. I'm not done. If I, no, I'm kidding. That was good. What I'm saying is, if you could do

good crowdwork a whole set, but my point is, you're right. It's like if I try to fuck around or let's just free ball and see what happens and I do okay, all those people will be like I'm never going to see. It was all right. I agree with you. Like killing all the time is not good. I feel like it sucks because you put yourself in a hole where you have to, that's what they saw last time and that's what they want to see again. But you have to do new jokes. And new jokes are going to eat dick. Yeah. Right. No, but you do new jokes in between ones at work. Yes. Yes. you do it maybe yes and look here's the thing what's your new joke and nice hat no yes first of all i'm one of the best that crowdwork in the business so shut your mouth first that's one

big j is the best get the fuck out of here gabby brian yeah you i heard gabby does crap here's the thing i love rife and then met rife i never even seen your fourth now first of all you're going to do two shows one night you're going to do your first show Mainly, mostly material, because they're listeners, they're not as drunk. Then the second show, you go, well, I'm tired of doing what I just did. Let me mix it up. And you'll just fucking do what you want. You'll do crowd work, do some material.

We're talking to view headlining. I'm okay. Do you remember the pontoon boat thing? Do you remember the pontoon boat? Yeah, they didn't even listen. No, what happened? The pontoon boat, you were wrapping up. I think you were like, all right, I got to get out of it.

You weren't having any fun. Two conversations going on right now. Fun and then fucking serious talking. I don't know how tight my butt is by my fart. Yeah. You did 20 minutes on a pontoon boat. 20 minutes. Stop jerking him off.

He doesn't like you. I do like him. He makes it very clear. Are you kidding me? I do like him. You don't like anybody. You don't even like yourself. I hate me.

Isn't that why we all get into comedy? Yeah. If I had a bigger dick, I'd be fucking successful on Wall Street. What? I was going to say Only fans. Why Wall Street? with a big dick. You think you don't Wall Street have big dicks? The ones I've blown.

I thought I thought it was somebody else. So, so you're in L.A. This is your home. I live in Vegas. Oh, you live in Vegas. So you don't know. So what is the clubs in Vegas? I have a residency there. Every Monday night. Every Monday night at Kimmel's, I get, he gives me an hour

and I have to do whatever the fuck I want. Do you get paid? Yeah. Door. Now, Steve Byrne has one too. He has one. He does. It's called New Year's Steve. where every show he pretends like it's New Year's Eve and he does a countdown and he does the whole thing but for me man to have an hour and a half once a week in Vegas and just do whatever I want right to practice jokes today is the fucking and it makes Mula yeah they they pay me dude that's great I I I you know you don't know what you get paid I've actually never even been in the cellar before

really never done a set never but I don't know what they pay here but that's not what they're pay it in fucking at the store they don't pay. Yeah, no. So to perform in $700. $700 is set. Here? Yeah.

Fuck off. What did you say? How much? Listen. Don't tell them. Okay. Yeah. So it's 700.

Me too. It's the Jews on the side of the same. You're Jewish. Yeah. Get out. Yeah. 100%. Get out.

No. Go fuck your show. Only one. Stop with Devire. We get it. I do. I take it as a compliment. I'd say this all the time.

When people say you don't look Jewish, I'm like, I take that as a compliment. That means I don't look like the ugly Jews, you know what I mean? I feel pretty good about not looking like the ugly ones. Now, I saw you, because I follow you on Sosh, and I saw you made me fucking annoyed at you. You did a video with no shirt on, working out, and you got off the thing. In Greece, yeah. Was it Greece?

Yeah, it was in Greece. Man, that fucking made me want to, I wanted to call you and go, hey, knock it off. Put your fucking shirt on. I mean, you were shredded, though. You piece of shit. Cocksuckers got abs. How old are you? 55.

I mean, dude, shredded. He's on the thing, and then he kind of walks over. He's like, and I could, you know, hey, listen, let me tell you something. I just want you to know I only shot that five times. I had to make sure everything was just right. But that day, we were in Greece. I hadn't been on vacation like 20 years. Yeah.

And that day, there we, I saw these two dogs, attached at the asshole. What? Okay. Attached at the asshole. And one of them was yelping and I was like, oh, I better go, why are they attached?

Fuck one of these dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in the mouth because their assholes are attached, you know? So I, somebody ran over to stop me. I was like, for me to you and they were like, that dog is fucking that other dog. It's just his dick

is still in there. The female hasn't released them yet. Oh. And I've always wanted to fuck someone with a pussy that tight Where they could just kind of squeeze it down But I didn't know the dog stuck Oh, there you are. There you are. Look at this. Look it with the glasses.

Look at that. Oh, with the fucking fancy treadmill outside. The gym was outside of this place. Look at your goddamn abs. You piece of shit. Wait, keeps bending over. I'm not impressed. I'm really, I'm fucking hard.

I've seen a million of those. I think the last time I saw you, dude, we were in Nashville. In Nashville. I was stoned out of my mind on mushrooms. You were in the back of a cab or Uber. But I think we were doing yours and Big Jay's show. We did the show. And that dude came on stage with me.

Okay, stop. Do you know what I'm talking about? Okay, Jay had the crowdwork show. Yeah. Where, you know, he would, you know, all these comics make a deal or whatever. What's your fucking deal? But he had a guy. Now, I was not on the show.

I was doing the bonfire and I was doing the Ryman. But he said, hey, why don't you do the show with me? We'll get money, blah, blah, blah. I was like, okay. He goes, you go and be the crowd, the crowd mic. Yeah, that's. Which is, that's the fun part. No, it's not fun.

It's fun when you do four comics and Jay. Yeah. Fucking stupid. What's his name? I love him to death, the owner. Oh, Dorfman. Dorfman got fucking shit-faced and just kept adding people. He's so funny.

I'm on stage, and I'm thinking it's going to be over in an hour, two and a half hours in, yeah, put him up. Dorffin's backstage going, get him up. These people just start coming out on stage, and then they start turning on me because everything's already been, like, Cort McCau was like, oh, look at Bobby, and I had to trash him. I'm like, fuck you, you child, you child star old face, I haven't made it. Great golfer.

Yes. But then you So then you come out with Killer Bees Who the fuck is that Killer Bees is a well-known Southern Act Sold out

Big Bob and Tom act Sold out Who's Bob and Tom? But he played But he meant mostly Southeast Yeah south He was a southern Like Opie and Anthony

Bob and Tom were the big They were in 60 small markets I know who they are I'm fucking a comic too Jesus Christ All right I didn't you know I don't know

but he killer bees i don't know you know what the fuck i don't know what circles you run in but here's the thing i know you you come out i'm like this great but you come up with this guy i don't know but there was something off with him he didn't say a word

during the entire improv he's supposed to go out and make fun of the crowd he just stood up there with him stood behind me like you were his guardian that's so fucking that's a funny though at one point he put the mic back in

the stand and just stood on stage with me. Was he on shrooms or no? No, I was. Okay. You know, I take like three grams before my Friday night shows. I don't know that. What is that? Three grams of mushrooms before my Friday shows.

Why? What does it do? It's just fun. We're both sober. Oh, you're both sober? Yeah. Only 39 years. Did you ever take mushrooms?

No, we were, uh, I was 40 years. I was a man. I smoke crack. I quit what I was. I was a man. I didn't do stuff you put on spaghetti. Okay, you ever suck a dick For a mushroom

Not yet Okay You don't have to In the backyard Yeah Never just suck dick for Fun, yeah Yeah, just have a rabbit

shit in your backyard You got something Like Can't you just get those anywhere now Mushrooms? Oh, not anywhere They're legal Like in Vancouver

Canada You can go into a mushroom store And get them And do drug mushrooms? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, they're like weed stores, but they're mushroom stores. No, button mushrooms for fun. Shataki mushrooms.

Yeah, you asshole. Portobello? Yeah. Just giant portobello mushrooms. What a fucking idiot? The high ones? Well, I mean, you know, sometimes they have it. Like, hang on one second.

They'll put them in chocolate. Jump in whenever you want. They'll put them in chocolate. I'm just learning for three greats right now. I got it. How long you've been sober? Uh, 40 years. 40 and 39?

I've been sober one year longer than him. What was your, what was your drug of all of them? Uh, well, drinking was a big, I'm from Boston, you know, fucking drinking and any drug. I did a lot of, what? No what? I said milkshakes. That was later. That was after the drugs.

That was after the, when I got sober, it was milk shakes. You fucking ass. You traded a vice for vice. What did you say? You traded a vice for a vice, right? Yeah, yeah. Do you want to go hop on the treadmill with me? No, I'm not next to you.

Fucking piece of shit. Wait, you didn't do drugs. You were mainly alcohol, right? No, I did drugs. I started doing, uh, perks, valiums, mess, coke, uh, weed every day and I would drink every day. My whole thing was get money so I would steal

people's things, sell them and my park that I was kind of whatever gang we hung up in parks everybody would just pool their money together and we go down there and they'd put it all together and just go buy alcohol drugs, bring it back to the

park and we just get fucked up. What part of Boston is this? I was in Medford. Got it. My south Medford was most of my horse shit. West Mefford, I started drinking, and then South Medford is when I started getting, you'd go to jail and getting arrested. When was the jury officer that we did the show for? When was that? You don't remember

this? No, when? Remember we went up there? We did, I guess it was your probation officer. Oh, my, my probation, this dude, my probation officer in Rochester? Something like that. Okay, so we do my, I was, no, it was Saratoga. I had to drive you five hours to get up there, and then you're like, we're leaving in two seconds,

and then the guy comes up and he goes, hey, I was your parole officer, probation officer when you were a juvenile delinquent. This guy used to have to pick me up from the juvie hall or foster care and take me to court. So he was my probation officer. But he used to be such a cool guy

used to take me to go like a graveyard and we'd just let me drive his car. He taught me how to drive. And then I would be driving me back to the foster home of juvie heel and he would just, I would just drive from this side. So we're not a doll. Huh?

Show us on the dog. I swear to God, I thought it. At one point, I was like, he's going to want me to suck his dick in the cemetery. But if he lets me keep driving the car. But he never did. I had the best scam what I would do when I was doing coat. I would go to garage sales and buy sets of golf clubs for like $10.

You know, old shitty golf clubs, 10 bucks for a set. You know, no one used them in years. I buy a set and I go to a drug dealer. I go, give me a gram on credit. And I'll leave my clubs as collateral. I go, don't sell my golf clubs. All over town, just drug dealers with garage sale golf clubs from where I'm from.

I would get, they were going, oh, it was golf clubs, grand. You think the fucking drug deal, these aren't tired of this motherfucker. You don't know? When Joey and I would, sometimes if we were, had no money. You fucking hung out with Joey Diaz. Sometimes we had no money in Seattle, but if we wanted to get some drugs, he would be like, come with me. And we'd go into like a target, and he'd pick up two comforters,

and he'd walk up to the return counter and you'd be like I got these as a present I don't want them anymore it's so easy wait a minute that was it and they were like you have a receipt

he's like no I got it as a present I'll just take the cash I don't know if they still do it but they can't fucking they changed some stuff they would Home Depot was a good scam that was a good

yeah you could just grab it off the shelf and walk up to the return counter and he would we'd go in every now and then and then we'd just he'd always comforters he's like I like return of confidence

and so he'd grab two covers and drop them off and we'd get cash You know those, when they had those fake $50 bills, they were advertisements, but they looked like... Yeah. So I would take 10 singles and put the 50 in the middle. Then I go to a guy's own crack or fever. I go, give me six vials, and I would count it. You know, he'd see me in a car and I'd count 10s and have 50 and handed to him and just fucking take off with $10 a cost.

So you counted the vials and he didn't count the money? He saw me. What dumb drug dealers? He saw me count the money Old clubs made of wood Yeah No these were crack dealers in Harlem He'd see me count the money in the car

And they just wanted to hand you and take off You didn't go to Newark I'm not even No I used to go to Spanish Harlem Right on That's so much good possible shit though On the way don't we feel like? No Newark didn't have it then

It was New York You would go to New York and get it So when you hang out with Diaz I saw him yesterday You saw him yesterday Yeah I love Joey He's such a fucking have fun he's the buddy dude The best

And when you hung out with him, it just seemed, because you seem so different than him. We are very different. Yeah. But we, that was my dude, man. You know, he lived in my backyard. What? He used to live in my back. I had a little, like, a guest house in the backyard in Seattle.

Do you have like a family? Do I have a family? I don't know what the question is. You have a wife and a son that you married? I have a family. Yeah, yeah. I have, what is, do you have a family? Why did you get stuck on that?

I didn't know if you meant like, I come from. like a together do i've got nervous like you have two families you know i have one i got why if i got three kids i got nine grandkids you have grandkids yeah when did you start having kids um i was 27 i was 27 but i met a woman she had two kids we had a kid together when i kicked her out i kept all the kids what and then why'd you kick her out uh we she had her own problems man you know what i mean yeah and so but i that joey used to babysit my kids Joey was my kid's babysitter. I'm going to tell you a story.

Okay. So what we used to happen is, your poxuckers. Go in there and make yourself a mac and cheese. He would say shit like that. If they were in the car and they'd be talking, he'd go, ah, little kids talk when chickens pee. And I'd be like, what does that mean?

He's like, I don't know. But he would, one night I come home. I would use that. He watches the kids. Well, I would do an early set at the store. And then I'd come back and he'd go do his sense. so one time i come home and kids loved him dude and he was a big dude back then never wore underwear and um i walk in and there's toys on the floor and he goes everybody oh kids pick up the toys

and um my he bends over and there's ass crack is showing and my daughter rips some hair out of his ass crack and she's five and she goes how many and he goes oh it felt like five that time I go, that time. What do you mean that time? What the fuck? And he goes, oh, she loves that game. I go, yeah, I don't do. I don't like that game.

There's so many other games you can play with her. You know what I mean? Why are we doing the ass crack hair game? But Joey Diaz, dude, he used to, and then. What a creative man. Dude, he used to misspell. Okay. One day my daughter's birthday party, and I said to him, I go, hey, where's the C-A-N-D-Y?

and he goes, it's in the DRAW. And I go, what? He goes, it's in the DRAW. I go, that's Jersey right now. I don't know what that is, dude. He goes, it's in the drawer. It's in the fucking drawer. And I go, that's not how we spell it.

He goes, that's how I say it. I go, yeah, but you have to spell it the same. You can't just stop, start spelling things the way you say. I know my, my wife yells from me because I go draw. She goes, draw her. But you would spell it correctly. DRAW. There you go.

He used to tell me also He was sure that the saying was Memory like a Hawk And he'd be like, dude, I got a memory like a hawk I'm like, that's not it. What is it? It's eyesight. But he was, eyesight.

He was convinced it was memory Because he was like, if a hawk leaves a tree in the morning And it flies around a forest, all those trees look the same And it finds its way back to the same tree, that's a good memory. And I was like, okay, it's still not the same.

But they don't find their way back. They were blind. They go all over. And they don't come back to the nest? They come back to a nest, but it's their kids squawking? Yeah, I mean, but when they don't have kids, they kind of roam, don't they? I don't know much about eagles. I think we're talking about hawks.

Eagles, definitely. That's a memory like an eagle. I think it's, I said. Hey, for all the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control. Cash app is here to help you make sure your team. teens money and their spending isn't adding to the craziness. Cash app is designed to meet teens ages 13 to 17 where they are with their intuitive educated tools.

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overdraft coverages and discounts provided by cash app a block ink brand visit cash dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures right didn't you have a story about another comic that you we're going to tell. Oh, dude. So I watched my my special streamed live tonight. I got to tell you this, Kevin Brennan's story. Oh, okay. So here's a deal. Everybody, uh, your special, where is it right now? It's on my YouTube channel. It's on as you. What's the YouTube? When you shoot it at? I shot it in, uh, Nashville at Zaney. Cool. All right. Can he fucking get the plug before you ask questions? That's a good question about a special. Yeah, but after I get the plug in.

All right. So, what's the channel? It's a, uh, it's a, uh, it's a, uh, it's a, uh, you. uh josh wolf comedy on youtube are youtube.com slash at joff wolf comedy and just so you know like what's the name what's the name of the special campfire special but the last special dude no music all just four stories four 15 minute stories this is what i mean is that i like to right but brennan maybe last year i had said something about that he was just an asshole you know and um you said that on a podcast i think so right do you know him i had met it i somebody asked me are there comics who are universally disliked? I'm like, well, there's one who's close.

Right. You know, there's... Rich Voss, Kevin. Yeah. Bobby Kelly. But I honestly, I maybe have met him one time in my life. I was just kind of throwing something out. You're throwing names out.

Just throwing him. Oh, you can't do that with him. Okay. Right. So he, somebody got back to him, and every... He was pissed. Oh. And so, so every now and then I'll get a message from on a live or from somebody, you know,

one of the four people that, follow them they might come back and say something so on the stream today i there's just one dude hack this is bullshit wasn't your son in rehab all this stuff and i'm laughing because i know who it is and the fact that he hate watched the entire podcast almost made me jerk off at the end i was so fucking happy how mad he was and how rent free i was just living in his fucking But he's still mad two years later. It was MLC podcast. Oh, that's him, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. What MLC stand for? Misery loves company. Yeah, yeah. Started that podcast, too. Who did? You did? I did, yeah.

Oh, yeah, him and Lenny Marcus. I, listen, I don't give a fuck. Do you know what I mean? It made me laugh so hard how bitter he was. And when people are that bitter, it makes me kind of. I got to, I'm going to go back and I'm going to lift all the comments and I'm on post it. Oh, God. He's officially banned from Uncle Vinnie's forever, by the.

I got back in. He can't. Why? Apparently, similar behavior to what Josh was just saying. To the club owner? Yeah. I think, uh, I think Dino wound up just slapping like the money in his hand, the cash money. Like, like literally, tried to bring his own opener.

They told him you, not allowed to do that. It was, Kev had a, I'll tell you what, he had the best story about this one. I was driving to a gig. He's funny, by the way. He makes me laugh. No, dude, you can't say anything. I don't. I'm not, I'm not, I haven't, no, I was, son in my throat.

Kevin Brenny. Kevin Brenny, funny. Funny. His fucking rage. That's so funny. His fucking rage and his hatred towards shit, even when it's towards you and it's been towards me and he, he caught, you know, when I was fat, you fat fuck, you know, he's so violently angry, it's, it's such a vile, angry.

Like, just like a demon hell hate. But it's so funny because, yeah. It is. Yeah. Did you remember the old Dangerfield shows when they had the proms come in? Oh, God. I used to do those. Oh, those were horrible.

That's my first time meeting him. I was, uh, you had to do a half out. What do you mean? You had to do a half, Dangerfields would have proms. So they'd give special deals to proms. So all the proms and all the burrows would come into New York and do comedy shows. So you, 17 year olds? Yeah.

And they would All underage and drunk They would say A group came in During the third act They were allowed to stay They would see you twice sometimes It was horrible

So what happened They were drunk And he was telling the story I was 16 years old I was uh You wait a minute Stop once a I apologize

You're good sir Number one It's Robert Kelly's you know what dude podcast Yeah And number fucking two I was just You did I was doing what you did

What did I do? You did it I did what? how wow you went i remember those and you told them i was like yeah i remember them too yeah yeah he because he asked you remember the palm shows and i yeah i remember them and i'm part of that do you remember them yeah but then you kept talking yeah but i i kept talking because it's my podcast yeah but you have guests you're here every week talk you're here every week with your fucking hogwash let him talk i what hogwash what's you said i said

hog watch. I have a lisp. All right. And this gun puts a little extra saliva in my mouth. I hope you choke on your nicotine gum. I just bought a thing in case you choke. Yeah, I'm not going to use it. I'm going to let you die. Go ahead. Tell us your story.

Oh, it's going to suck. No, no, it's a good story. Stop one second. What is the thing a trombone? No, it's a big conchitis. It pulls out. What? It's choking. It's like, how does it pull it out? Do you stick something in your mouth?

Like a syringe type thing? Why did you buy a fucking... Because sometimes I fall asleep with gum in my mouth. Well, don't do that. So you put like a plunge... It's like a mouth plunger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't come yet in the mail.

How are you going to fucking... This is the crazy. Wait, wait a... It's like a plunger you fit over your mouth, and the suction sucks it up? I hope it works. Let's test it out right now. You're going to get it. You're going to go to sleep, and you're going to die in your sleep.

Or Bonnie's going to move it at arms. Bonnie's going to start and half... I don't know what happened. Bonnie and I are separated. No, you're not. I'm just practicing. It's a plunger, though, correct, like a reverse syringe, I think. Reverse.

You're an adult. Just don't take the gum out of your mouth I want to but sometimes I just fall I'm so knocked out You're not knocked out Oh Jesus Christ You bought a fucking mouth plunger I bet you you could put your dick on that too

You can You can't That is like a legit mouth plunger You're an idiot You're an idiot And I love gadgets What do you I'm just so curious

Like you almost died one night And so you Google mouth plunger Like how did that get Just in case I bought two one for the road One for every room? You're going to pack a mouth plunger? Yeah, why not?

Just don't fucking put the gum in your mouth. Sometimes you just fall out. I don't want to fall asleep. No, that's not true. When you find yourself getting dizzy, like tired, just take it out and put it on the fucking table. I'm tired all day, so I don't know when I'm going to fall asleep. I can't take it.

So what happened at Dangerfield? It's better to be good. Nothing's going to be fucking a practicing. No, that's pretty good. I was 17. It was my junior prom. And we went there and it's Dangerfields. Everybody kid is drunk out of their mind, right?

And then comedy's going on or whatever. Two or three, I think Sherrod Small was there. I didn't really know anybody. And then Kevin Brennan goes up. And he goes, opens the set with, I just letting everybody know, I fucked all your mothers and all your sisters are fucking whores. And they want to say, just the whole, from the get-go,

violent out the gate. And then a couple years later, I wind up talking to him. We were on a ride to a gig. And I just said, hey, you saw him at the Dangerfield Prom show. I was like, oh, did you, you probably hated those, right? You were always, like, cursing at everybody and everything. And he was like, no, one time there was. And I was like, yeah, but that was my junior prom.

You pretty much told, you told my date she was a filthy whore. Was she? No, no. And then I had to drive him five hours to Anthracite, Pennsylvania to perform. So I'm a cuck in that story. He, uh, yeah, he's funny. I just love the rage. No, listen, dude.

He's, you know, I, I've had my problems with them. You know what I mean in the past? I've, you know. Yeah. We've had fucking, I mean, yeah. But it's, it's Kevin. Yeah.

It's just Kevin. People are like, fuck. I've never got mad at what he said to me ever. Because I understand what he's doing. He's just calling you a fat fuck. But he'll be like, you're funny. Yeah. He's a piece of shit.

Didn't he once, like, record the, the, the, no, that's, yeah. No, that's, no. One time he was, I was talking to ask you. he was recording me and i just grabbed his phone and why was he recording that's exactly it's like dude come on yeah we're comics yeah you can say what you want on your podcast to get people to fucking hate me or think i'm calling me i don't care i get that shit but we're in our we're in a little area doing our thing you can't just use me for content fuckface we did and that's what made me mad and i was probably a little out of line with what i did after that what you do but uh legally

i don't want to say oh yeah i got it i don't don't respond to what he says I mean he said some vile shit recently about us me and Aaron Berg which was not true something about what being gay Jews filthy

but it wasn't true was filthy before gay or filthy before Jews but I didn't I didn't respond because filthy Jew gay yeah look I used to get the guy rides home from New York

you know to buddy I fucking started the podcast with the guy I used to give him rides and all of a sudden he turns on me Like, I'm his enemy. Like, I've never said anything bad about this guy, and all of a sudden, he's a tie. Because, can I say something? What? It's a style.

That's all it is. Yeah, but don't go after your, supposedly people. It's like saying, don't do crowd work. No, no, I don't know the people I'm doing. Get the fuck out of here. It's just like that. It's just like that. He just doesn't have the tongue and cheek after.

He just says, you fucking hack, fat piece of Jew, filthy shit. End of joke. And then his fans love it, and they fucking, that's it. Oh, wow. It's a style. It's wrestling. I've talked to him. He said it's for the fans.

You know what I mean? He's not going to tell the fans that, but he said, you know, I do this because they like it. Yeah. And that's what he's making money on. But it was a lie what he said before he said that. What? we did those shows me Aaron and Judy

someone there was a promoter and he was sending money to either the IDF or some Jewish thing I don't know I got paid I don't know what the promoter then he says Aaron and and Rich were supposed to send money and they never

first of all I wasn't supposed to send any I just got paid to do shows he goes those filthy Jews you know and it's easy to jump on the fucking Jew bandwagon now. You were paying like the IDF you were donating to that?

No, the promoter was donating to something. Maybe the IDF, maybe something in Israel. I don't know. That was not my concern. My concern was due to show this is what I get paid and I got paid. All right. That's it. So you were supposed to be raising money for

the Jewish cause. Yes. And you were making a profit off of it. Well, no, no. It's a very Jewry thing to do. I mean, what a filthy Jew. Stop. No, no. Come on. You know, we've done. Shut your fucking mouth. We're getting.

Oh, all, goddamn, grumpy Jew. First of all, Jewish. I can't say Jew? No. You wouldn't go to Godfrey. Hey, Black. I have. No, not to his face.

No, never. I've never thought of that before. What? But they do call us Jews. Hey, Jew. You would never go, hey, hey, Reacon, or hey, Black, you know, or, or hey, middle. You wouldn't just do that. I don't know.

That's the end of it. It's feature. It's to you. No, but anyhow, so I just don't get involved in all those guys that do all that shit online. It's not, why would I get involved? I'm an old fucking guy. It's a style. It's not a style.

It is. To go after people that were nice to you throughout your life? It's not about you being nice or me being nice. Look at, I helped him. My whole goal was to make his podcast like number one. on my network and it was on its way and he fucking tanked it with Lenny Lenny and Liz

were on the show. It was a hit. Could you imagine that? It was going. It got 20,000 listeners out of the gate, but he just was like, he just wanted money and Lenny's a fucking idiot and fucking Liz, you know, they just couldn't do it and he had to go do his thing. He had

this was his thing. He has to go and he gets money off of YouTube and people give him to say they don't give him money to be nice or have some type of you know a moment of serenity where he learned a lesson they get it to go oh you fucking that fucking can i tell you that piece of shit or that hack honestly the comments to me were what was the worst one ah he said something about my son going to rehab oh boy and but and something like uh how does it feel to be a you know a guy who does drugs and his son went to rehab but you know

something about being a bad parent. That's one of the questions. That's one of the questions. It must be from Kevin. I'm kidding. But the truth is, is I almost take it as not a compliment,

but when he's going, that's what he does. And so when I was reading the comments, people in the chat were mad. They get mad at him. Yeah, but he probably gets off to that and I'm laughing. I just know how bitter and angry

and that type of bitterness and anger makes me laugh. Listen, son going to rehab is great. That means he's true. trying to turn his life around. Are you kidding to me? Rehab saved my life.

Yeah. I hold your son. My youngest son tours with me. He tours with it. Is he a comedian? Yeah, he opens for me. Get the fuck out of here. Listen, man.

This is the only reason I'm still humping it is because I get to hang out with him every fucking weekend, dude. So you, he opens. So what happens is he'll go up. He'll do 15 minutes. He's probably got three. Okay. And, uh, no.

Do you help him with the shit? Yeah. You know, it's funny is he'll do. It's so good. We do stand up. And then we go back to the hotel room and talk stand-up. It's so fucking amazing. Me and my daughter do OnlyFans together.

And let me tell you, to be with your kid, it means a lot. It's so right. Yeah. That naked Yatzi stream is weird. You pull the count the hairs? That is fucking nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You have five-year-old daughter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would have been bad if it was your son. It's your daughter. Joey and her had the best fucking relationship. That's hilarious. How old is she now? My daughter's 32. What the fuck?

How the fuck are you 50 something? 55. You had kids when you were 20. Well, my daughter remember I... Is you from the other? From another, yeah, okay. But having Jacob tour with me and open for me is so fucking fun. It's funny when...

Are you and your other kids? Close? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They just don't want to... Did they live with you? My oldest son lives in Texas, and he was in the Army for a while, and he's got most of the grandkids. His pull-out game, not great.

Right. How's he doing? He hasn't figured out anal yet, apparently, because we got a lot of grandkids. Yeah, I figured it out, but it was on me. These guys kept coming in my ass. No, your counselor figured it out. Can I borrow that plunge? Do that work on ass?

On assholes? Yeah. It pulls come right out. If someone gets stuck in there, I'm not. I got three and my fourth grand kid on the way. Amazing. Your son lives at you, though. The tour is with you.

No, he lives in Vegas, but he doesn't live with me. He has his own place. All my kids, when my son was 18, he dropped out of college, and he came back home, and I said, okay, but you can't live here. If you're working, I was like grown-ups, grown men who work don't live at my house. So go get a job, and he went and got a job, and he moved out of the house. Is this the guy that was in rehab? Yes Your actual son

Yeah, yeah And he How do you get on drugs? What happened, dude? Was it because you were away? No, it happened while So to keep him out of the dangers of the road He's been touring with me for three years

I'd have yet to let him get his own hotel room I make him sleep in the room with me Every fucking night That's great. Yeah, I'm like, dude, I know what it's like to be 27 out there Right, yeah And so, but in Vegas He started doing Coke

Right And it just got a, it's hooked in him. He was, you know, for two years, I think the last year, he said he was doing at least a gram a day. Whoa. And, uh, snorting it or smoking it? Snorting it. But he was like, it was, what, who cares? Uh, is, is there a difference?

Yeah. Because he's just wants to, I used this. No, no, no, I'm just saying a gram. I smoked it. No, listen to me, fucking Wafflehead. I'm saying there's a difference. A gram will last a day if you're snorting it. Yes.

Not if you're smoking. It goes a lot faster. A lot faster. Why waffle head? I don't know. I'm not sure why waffle head. I'm hungry. I used to call my kids waffle head.

Oh, don't put me in that fucking thing. Come here, sit on my lap, Bobby. How is your day? Tell me put some syrup on your head. Tell Bonnie six. Sick. Hears.

Oh. So he went to rehab. He went to, you know, and he was. so he sent he was in london and i had no idea that this was happening and i'm with him every weekend um and he's in london and we get a text from him i'm not going to say what the text said but it basically said i'm an addict and i'm drowning wow basically and it was i got it at like two and two and two is what kevin brandon is going to leave yeah yeah yeah he's drowning yeah but i got it i and he was coming home the next day and i told my wife i'm like

We got to, when he gets off the plane, we have to have a plan. And we have to have a rehab set for him. I can't, we just got to, he's got to land, drop his bag off. We got to put him back on a plane. And so he was up to, he was up for it, man. And I was like, I got you a plane ticket. I'm going to fly you to L.A. We got your spot.

Let's go right now. And he said, okay. And he's, he was ready. I mean, listen, I don't know. I've never dealt with it before. And people told me if there's a chance he's going to say no. It's willingness. they're willing to change is a good sign when he you know what i mean a lot of people won't won't do that

won't take that flight won't go to the rehab you know what yeah when you're done you're done and sometimes no i was going to say surrender when you surrender you surrender yeah but how old were you guys when you gets over i was 15 i was 28 what the fuck yeah at 15 you knew you were doing too yeah dude i was fucking doing drugs every day i started drinking when i was 10 i was drinking you know Southern Comfort by 11 13. I was one sip in a half a pint or a pint. I could one, just drop

my tongue and just let it go to the back of my throat and drink the whole bottle in one sip. I just got hard. Can you record that and you send it to me? I don't even taste the cup. I'm not even gay. It goes straight down the throat. It doesn't hit my butt. I got a thing.

Yeah, terrible. Yeah, I was 28 when I fucking hit. But I was done. I was like, I was in and out of jail. I was just like my last time I got arrested up in Rochester, I was in a cell going, what am I doing? How old were you? 18? 15.

It wasn't fun anymore? What happened was, is that year I got a job on a farm through the juvenile system. They made me work at this place. And I wound up having responsibility. So I wasn't drinking every day or using every day. I was actually working and then being so tired, I would go home. And my mom started to treat me different. And my stepdad, I kind of was like, I don't know, it was like normal for a little beat where my life was like, okay.

And it was like, I wasn't hang out with the kids and I wasn't doing the stuff. When you were, one night I did it and I lost everything. I got arrested again. And I was literally like in jail going, I know what it is. It's, fuck these other kids and fuck drinking in drugs. I got to get help. Did most of those kids, do you know, did they end up dead? or in jail.

My kids over the years. Yeah. One of them was Mickey Ward, though, who, you know, did pretty well for himself. What? We're going to let that bomb. No one knows Mickey Ward. I know Mickey Ward. Thank you.

Where's the, fucking Massachusetts right here? Where's the bomb bandana, guys? Where's, when you need my bomb bandana, where is it? It's wrapped around your hand, stupid. Joe? Thank you, boss. Where the fuck is it? You were 28?

Put that on your fucking. Yeah. And so what was it for you, the, the, the, bottom you know sucking dick no no blowing guys for golf clubs I just kissed it and suck just the top

yeah just kissed it and slapped it around a little bit not enough to go to the parade I because I was basing I was doing comedy for like two years now and you know I'm working and we're going up to Harlem and me and my friends and car accidents

and guns and everything and I just couldn't live that way I knew I was going to die or end up in jail and my last, I was working I was working Springfield Mass and Westfield, this guy, Norman LaFoe and I go, I'm not going to get high

I'm going to work Westfield, Springfield, then Boston and I was only doing it for two years but I was getting work and I had like 600 bucks on me which back then is a lot of fucking money so I'm working this one nighter in Worcester called Plums

I meet a waitress I go, where can we get Coke? She didn't know. I drive back to New York from Boston. Jesus. To get Coke? Yeah, buy tons of Coke. We get a hotel.

We smoke all night. Fuck. Smoke. Now I get to, and I'm 40 minutes from home. I got to drive back to Boston. That girl's name was Bonnie McFarland. I got to drive back to Boston on a Sunday just to do the last night. I'm already home, basically.

No money left. Driving blood is. pouring out of my nose. We pull into Hartford to buy heroin. We get ripped off. And then I come home and I think I went to rehab like a week later. I go, I can't do this anymore. You just, you can't, you just get, I go, I lost. Yeah. You know, you just, I lost. And your son, how long's your son

been sober? He got out in November. So it's like, what is it, eight months? And how is he doing? He's doing well. He actually, I ask him a lot, and he's like, I actually, I don't crave it at all. Does he go to meetings? He doesn't go to meetings. It's a problem, right? He's got to go.

Yeah. I mean, it sucks because they're not fun at the beginning. Yeah. But he's got to find one. He's got to find one that he can go and relate to people. He's got to go to. This is what he said. He said he was going.

He was like, everybody's so fucking old. Yeah. Go to find a young people. Find a young person. They have them. They have meetings. Yeah. I go to them and go, they're old.

we have a meeting he could go to on Zoom if he wanted to go to yeah and do you still go to meetings yeah yeah no shit yeah and go to one tonight and he talked me in the i go to my monday and tuesday night yeah and then Wednesday on Zoom so i try to go to those three yeah we have one on Wednesday i hope you drink i think you you came in when you were 15 i think you still have another run in you dude are you fucking i think look it come on how about it like 80 At 80, I do want to try heroin. That would suck. At 80? No.

Why not? What if you became an addict? You started sucking dick at 80 and nobody wants to. I'm fucking blow you. Somebody wants that. But at 80, I figure, I've done most of my life. I was going to start smoking cigarettes again at 75. But why?

Start now. Yeah. See, you're not nice. I'm not. Okay. I, so listen, but you seriously, if your son need, no, seriously, we, we, uh, we have a Zoom meeting, yeah, 930, well, it would be 6.30, though, so I don't know if you're going to, it's an anger manager meeting. First of all, how does anybody know your son went to rehab? How did

somebody know that? You know what's crazy is that we were going, I brought him. Yeah. And I said, all right, dude, you can disappear for a little while. What do you want, me? to tell people when they ask and he said he was like I'm gonna make a video and I was like you don't have to do that and he said I think it'll help me hold myself accountable so that's good and so he was like that way because he would go to comedy clubs with me

and people he'd you know you can always go to a kitchen of a comedy club and find some coke somewhere and but I would now that it was me and you both relapse this weekend yeah I haven't been in the kitchen and they're like oh yeah we got it all over here somebody can find you some drugs in a comedy club yeah in Worcester for sure in Worcester in the microphone it's a podcast oh sorry I can't stand them too nothing makes you

seem older than talking over here in Worcester yeah yeah dude remember that story I told a couple minutes ago yeah that's a call back to that oh I'm sorry do you want to hear it people listening first of all one of my podcast is successful first of all don't fucking try to bandwagon on his joke, all right? He said old, and then you try to fucking do your little scene, your one-act play, and it stunk. You stink, your acting stinks.

What's the bandana? That's a bomb bandana. When you have a hot bomb, you've got to put that on your microphone. I'm still wearing the shame from that, Mickey. He actually tucked it in like a bib. Here's the thing. We all were like, okay, we'll just let him keep going until he says something, and we let him bomb.

I blame us. Someone should have jumped in and helped him. Well, I was waiting for the punchline. Yeah, well, it never came. I hear you. If only I had a guitar, right, Josh? I know, dude. Let me tell you, that was mean.

It is something. That's not mean? What did he say? By the way, you're right, bro. What did he say? Now, the guitar, I'm telling you right now, the guitar is because I've always just told long stories and I've right punchlines, but none of them fit in the stories, they fit in the songs. Okay.

That was a long story. Give me a guitar. Josh, you've done Jacksonville Comedy Zone, right? I have. Okay, that's the club I started, and we had a guy who was doing killer guitar comedy. It was very funny stuff. He was writing his own, and the club owner made him get rid of the guitar. And he told him, he goes, well, I can't.

It was Fred, the old owner over there. And he said, that fucking scumbag. I'm still trying to get his back in Boston. He wanted you to stay at? I did. And then he tried to take money from my CDs and DVDs. He takes, what was this? He's gone, by the way. He's gone. He's not there anymore.

And I'm not there anymore. The old owner of the comedy's owner. You guys are talking over farts. You know what? The scum bag. The funniest thing of the world, the fart. You talked over it. It was a good one, too.

It was a real good one. The Jacksonville, I almost got kicked out of, in Jacksonville one night. You know, in Florida, it's so humid. Yeah. So after the show, we're in the meet and greet, and everybody's shirts are sticky, you know, and you don't want to touch them. And on the live TV the next morning, the guy was like, I was a show last night. I go, great show.

And I wanted to make a joke about the meet and greet. And I go, great show. It was so tough in the meet and greet, though. I had to touch everybody's wet backs. And they were like, what? You were being racist? Yeah. And they were like, I was like, I had to touch all these wet backs.

And they were like, uh, uh. And I go, no, no, no, no, no. Like, there's a space in between those two words, wet backs. I was not invited back to do the next year. They were like, they want you on TV. No Spanish people in Jacksonville. It's the weirdest thing. When are the only part of Florida with none of them?

When did you start. vaping. I don't know. I just, I found it my bag, and I just started doing it because I'm hungry. What if you found a cock in your bag? I would have sucked it. I'm starving. Hopefully stuff would have to come out. I haven't eaten all day. I protein,

low carb. So let me ask you. Your kids on the row are you. He's doing this, and he's doing good. Yeah. He's doing great. That's great. And I struggled for a while because you live in Vegas. But you're friends with, yeah, that's what I'm going to ask.

Like, you do drugs. Yeah. Don't you have a responsibility to not do that when you're around him? Yeah. You know, I struggled. So I went so, when he went in, I went sober. And I was sober until he came out. And I was like, I'm not going to do drugs. And he was like, whether you do drugs or not, has nothing to do with me. And he said, I have to be able to be out around people. Okay. Yeah. And he was like so. And my drug choice weed or mushrooms is never. I was never a Coke guy And so I don't We used to smoke weed together

We don't smoke weed together anymore I just I'm like I feel kind of weird But but I am not gonna It took me a long time to kind of figure it out Because he told me and some other people were like it's not He's gonna do drugs where the you do drugs Did you do drugs growing up with him Your wife and you do drugs as they were kids growing up

Did they know about it at teenagers and stuff like that My wife doesn't do drugs I didn't do drugs when I was a single parent I didn't do any drugs Because I was like, if I'm high and shit goes down, I'll never forgive myself. Right. Yeah, that's the worst. Yeah.

That's why when, like, my daughter, if I was home alone, I would never jerk off when my, like, what happened? Something happened. What? And you broke our arm or something. Yeah. And what were you doing, Dad? Where were you? Yeah.

You know what I, how you tell the cops that? Yeah. I was jerking off to your friends in the pool. I told you that? Yeah. Yeah. I don't. your daughter's friends are always like

why is your dad always in a robe why he's always got slippers in a robe what's this fucking deal why is there a that blind open part like yeah I remember when my daughter was getting you know growing

you know my wife goes have you seen Raina's you know brass and I go the drill bit broke I was peeking through the wall No, don't have them touch that That's actually too good for that piece of shit My daughter's going to college next week

She's going to pit Really? Yeah All my kids turned out to be fucking great kids Are you empty nests after this? Yeah, yeah And so isn't Bonnie She's telling him to leave

Yeah, Bonnie's like, when are you going to college? I got to finish high school first I can't. I'm just going to get a little RV. What did you just say? I want to get a little RV like one of those camper vans. And go where? I don't know. And just go.

Are you handy? Yeah. Are you? Not mechanically, but around the house. Yeah, I'm good. I used to remodel houses. Oh, what a completely un-Jewish thing? I had my own business.

I had seven guys working for me when I was 22, but I fucked it up with drugs. I can't fix shit. I had the biggest painting business in town. Well, you live in Vegas. Yeah. Is it, you got a pool and all that? Is it nice Vegas houses? We live in a place called McDonald Highlands, which is fucking gorgeous.

By Summerline? Out in Henderson. And, man, it's the quietest place I've ever lived. It's just a bunch of old fucks. I have some professional gamblers around me, I was telling you. And we don't have a pool because it's the water is so fucking hot. I wouldn't even lay out. By the pool.

Right. Okay. But it's, man, Vegas is underrated for a place to live. A lot of people are moving there, though. The food is next level. Here's the thing. Like, I come here.

I love being here for three days. Yeah. But walking down the sidewalk here is just... Gross. Yeah, it's gross. And people just walk right in fucking front of you and stop. You got to know how to live in New York. You got to know how to...

There's a thing. It's like when you're in, like, like fucking Sweden or Europe people are just walking and they do you have to learn how to in a big city like that so many comics nobody walks in Vegas

somebody one foot it's a car to a box yeah box to a box yes so many car people comics are moving to Vegas like if you go to so much stage you go to dirty at 1230 yeah just a thousand of these guys watching yeah there

there's a ton of stage time and it's at it's at clubs where you can get paid yeah so yeah it and the price of living is cheap the only problem is is there's no cut up there's no place to hang and and fuck around with people and i do i do miss that but brend le's here i like him he's a good guy who's that brennerst he lives in vegas too i hear kevin brennan's moving out there you know i'm happy would make me if he moved on your street yeah he just he just stuck his head over your fence look at you oh my neighbor you and no one make me even happier if his brother move

next door to him. Kevin's. But we do have huge fucking scornments. It really is a top toss up between those two. Bonnie said, how could how can Neil Brennan be in your family and not be the worst person?

Ah, shit. All right, listen, you got a special out. Yeah, it's called the Campfire special. Campfire special. It's on my YouTube channel. There's a bunch of specials on there. Is your son in it? My son's in it. Oh, that's great. For sure. but I've always put all my stuff on there I think one of my specials on there has like

16 million views or something on what on what on my YouTube channel you have 16 million views that's insane crazy but but the yeah man so just come in Josh Wolfe he's got it that's his website what's your website comedian joshwulf.com comedianjoshwulf.com he's got a special up on YouTube

and it's brand new it's out right now and he's going to be all over the place. Make sure you check him out. All his upcoming tour dates. Very funny guy. Very fucking great guy. Thanks. What do you got there, motherfucker? American loser every Thursday, guest digital.

Seriously, one of the up-and-coming young comics right here. I love you. K.P. Burke is hilarious. He's funny. I've had him work with me many times. He's no joke. And he was in the Navy. You know that? I do know that. I know. For our country. How long did you serve? Six years.

For our country. We know what the I didn't say gravy fuck face oh Derek right back to food I didn't know right when I said it boss what do you got besides an ARP card this I don't

let me tell you something I got whatever I get Shane that Shane Gillis tour I did over the weekend insane It's insane a comics I mean he one He's the coolest laid back guy

And 17,000 people came to see him. It's insane that comics are doing venues that the Rolling Stones did. I used to tour with Cable Guy. And at the time, he was one of the only dudes doing those. And I felt the same. I'm like, you two played here, bro. Yes. You too played here.

And he's, he killed. I mean, the whole, the whole show was just killer, just killer. And then we hung out. It was the night. This weekend it was Anthony Moore, me, DeRosa, and Shane, right? And I love hanging with DeRosa, because she is so easy to beat down. You know, I got the phone call. Dude, Voss is fucking.

Why is he going to be so fucking? He wrote, no. He didn't call you, did he? No. Yes, he did. But he didn't. I know. I'm going to tell you about Shane, though.

He is really, man, that guy is fucking one. He's a real one, dude. I'm on a couple of the shows in September. He is fucking just a good one. And he's really helped. I don't know, dude. He's just a generous dude. No joke about it.

He's just helping all these comics out. He's fucking great. He's helping young guys, older guys. He's good to his friends like Tommy Pope and all the dudes. He's fucking great, man. I mean, Tommy, I love Tommy. Tommy is a lunatic, dude. I like him.

I love Tommy Pope. He's a. Stuffing lunatic. I love those guys. They're great guys. So we're sitting around hanging out. We went out one night. And Drozza goes, you know, me and Patricia are talking about the best directors.

And Doroza goes, I think Alfred Hitchcock and our eyes lit up. Our eyes lit up. Really? The birds? The birds? And Shane, I mean, beat them down. And I. Not Spilberg, not Jaws, not fucking close encounter, not E.T.

Birds, birds, birds. not quitting yeah we brought up quitting Coppola I hope DeRosa's on the tour when I'm there Are you gonna bring it up I don't have a half of the Hitchcock You just need you need that

It's so fun Either you make a fun of that guy Oh you owe that guy Yeah You know what I'm But here's the thing And this is the first time I never did it

From uh From uh Louisville to St. Louisville To St. Louisville We flew on a private plane You never flew private? It's the first time Wow

They served a half a sub They go would you like turkey or they served you a sub? What are you kidding me? Why are you so blown away by that? He's never had it. It was a sub. It's a sandwich, dude.

It was brought to me by a waitress on a plane. They'll do that on the regular planes, too. Not subs. That's true. You're talking about a guy. We were in Vegas working, we were in Vegas working the comedy seller. And we went up to the fancy restaurant in the Rio up to the steakhouse. We got a seafood tower.

And we didn't need it all because there was so much food. And there was crab legs. King crab legs. He took him on the plane. No, you did not. I have my own cooler. He went through security. He went through security with King Crablegs.

And he took him out on the plane. No, he did not. People were jealous. It was in coach. and he flapped down the little table and he took a picture and sent it to me with my shirt guy I also took the comfort plus

I was fucking has to be moved and I took the chicken anyways make sure you check Rich Voss he is truly People hated you on that flight dude I don't care I put my little dip on

truly one of the funniest guys walking my favorite one of my favorites Go to punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly Punchup. If you're not up there, go there now. Everybody who's anybody, you got to punch up there?

I'm on there. Go check out. Check out Josh's check out yours. What is it? Oh, fuck off. Punch up, I'm not on punch up. Get on it. You should.

I'm done. Buddy, no, you're not. Listen, everything's a bonus now. No, it's not. You don't get mad and made a bonus in five years. So we'll go on a Patreon dog Guys what do you got Danny what do you got

Mega fast Follow me on Instagram At Danny Brath I bring my own curtain to clubs Joe what do you got This is Joe Russell Go to YouTube Type in the Cheese show

I got a show about cheese with my wife I check out Of course Danny Very funny And Joe Russell very funny KP Burke What do you got buddy American loser every Thursday

I did him Oh you did it first Yeah I did it before you Anyways, make sure you check that. My special is on YouTube right now. YouTube.com at... Oh, I got a special on Amazon. Sorry.

Did I cut you off? Yep. Sorry. Slash Robert Kelly comedy. I hate you. Sorry. You say this shit every week. Amazon.

How much more people am I going to get? Amazon. Amazon. Why are you making one word into... Jamalmeen. Jamal mean. Jamal mean. Amozani.

Rich Foss Anonymous on Amazon. Check it out. We'll go to patreon.com right now to ask your questions. If you're not a minimum of Patreon, please make sure you go there right now. Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You get to ask questions, get an extra show, and you watch it live, like all the people are doing right now.

Get to it. And also, if you are watching on YouTube or are you listening on all the Apple, like, subscribe, and review. hopes to show out if you like what we'll see you guys next time oh you know what dude