Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #604 | Colum Tyrrell, Lev Fer, & Drew Dunn | Fat Test

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

This week YKWD on YKWD Colum Tyrrell, Lev Fer, and Drew Dunn unpack their past arguments w/ Bobby and they have a fat test to see who can go the longest without eating Dorito's. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DUDE and use code DUDEand get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup. One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code DUDE at https://www.ridge.com/DUDE #Ridgepod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome, everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact. The YKWD podcast.

YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, to help you ruining this. Brickwarkana, man. I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast.

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Just head over to ridge.com. use code dude and you're all set after you purchase they will ask you where you heard about them support the show and tell them we sent you hey i just spilled everything i'm a piece of shit fuck my life this podcast should be more popular than it is what's up everybody it's robert kelly we're at the comedy seller studios above the world famous comedy seller subscribe right now if you're watching on youtube or if you're listening on apple or anything like that just hit the button subscribe and comment

if you can and like the shit if you can and if you're not go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly will we do an extra show you have all kinds of extra stuff

you get to watch the show live what was that? Sorry You get the show live and you was that you? What was that? That's the buzzer.

Why did you say sorry? No I was going to say that's our third man but he's coming up now. Oh. I was at the third con. Yeah, let's see you pretend.

to know our names. I know all your names. Listen to me. That's our third mic. The only one potential. I know you for a long time. You're one of my favorite new assholes. I love both of you.

I mean, I like him better than you, but I mean... This guy sucks. That's true. But I'm older than you. So I'm more like Bobby than you are. You still got hope in your eyes and shit

that me and Bobby do not have. What's up, everybody? What's up, dude? How are you? Good, buddy. There's Drew Dunn. Drew Dunn from Beantown, by the way, right? All right, what's up, everybody?

Do you know, Drew? He does a good fucking robot voice. He does a good robot voice. You got to get in the mic. Turn his mic on, assholes. Why would you not have his mic ready? You should wait until you hear him for a few minutes. You'll get it.

Yeah, he's ahead of the game. Dude, I swear to God, I looked on the, down at the comedy cell, they have, what is it, five rooms or four rooms. And they have all the monitors down at the original so you can see who's on where. And I looked over, were on stage, I go, is that a fat Dan cook?

And everyone's like, what the fuck? Is that? You look like cook? Yeah, you do. You look like Dane a little bit. Really? Weird fucking face is in all. You know, he opens for her, right? Dane is in way better shape than you. Dan is ripped now. He's like 55 and Jack. He's got a keto diet. Yeah, he's got money.

That's why I can get fucking jacked. The less money you have the fatty you get. Yeah, it's all avocados and steak. Leve is poor. Levin is very poor. I've been broken money I'm not closed I don't know if that's true You've had a good fucking

All my Shane buddy is gone Trickle down Shane Anomics Shane sponsored a fucking kid for the day Brought him on the road A real make a wish over here Did you go on the road with Shane for a while Yeah no for a while I did two shows

That's enough Nice enough to save my life Two shows would change my year I was talking to Voss I go two motherships a year And five Shane shows I'm good That's how

quality living right there. Jay bought himself a new house. He's got a fucking hummer and shit. Get his nails done every week. Get his eyebrows threaded. That's Shane, buddy, baby. He goes, I don't wear fingerless gloves no more. Things have changed.

Yeah, I paint those fingernails. I got money, Daddy. Gloss, baby. That's so funny. Now he doesn't have to pull his leg up on the right side on his pants. He actually gets them custom made like that. Yeah, he goes to a guy. He looks good.

Is he on the Oz epic, too? He's on Manjaro. Yeah. Monjaro. This is like when they... It's African version. Yeah, they start naming them after like mountains and shit. Yeah.

Omicron and shit. You could climb Kilimanjaro if you just take Manjaro. You can climb Mount Manjaro. Yeah. Climb manjaro. That is funny. Why do they name? What is it, Manjaro?

What is that? It's just a... Sounds like a witch dog. I'm on Everest myself. You're a size of Everest. I got snow at the peaks. I'll tell you that. You walked through my

I was at the pussy Yeah, I fucked up And I walked up No, no, no Please, you tell the story It was funny He walked through And I saw him

And I was like What's up dude And he He turned Hey, what's up Like we were gonna do A little thing Yeah

Yeah, it's not happening Keep it moving Yeah, but you started it That's what he said He said I gave off the improv vibe That's my fault And I said okay I'll go fuck myself

I'll say Hey Dude do you tell thing Yeah I got a bit Do you tell thing Throw it to me You're white so Vince I

He did throw it to him, though. White Sylvan? He did a little. He threw it to me, and then I threw it back to him, and he just spiked it in the ground. That's the most year's generation thing ever. Do you know why? Because he was too eager to do it. Like, he turned around, like, give it to me, do it to me dad?

You know why? As I was, right when I walked in, I went, fuck, I shouldn't have come this way. Because the VU was packed out front. I was like, he made eye contact from me. I'm disturbing his show. This was on me. I'm about to see him in a few minutes. If he says anything to me, let's just, you know, be nice.

And then you go, what's up, dude? I'm like, hey, what's up, man? How's it going? That was funny, man. Yeah, but this is the most, like, his generation comic thing is like, he's like, how you doing, man? And he goes, I'm doing good. He goes, shut the fuck up. Don't look at me.

Don't eyeball me. You're doing good. Fuck you. I was telling this on the bonfire today. So we, Jay got the brand new house, beautiful house. I mean, it's, I would say, dare to say, the perfect type of house. Awesome. It's like, you know, got a base, it's got a downstairs living room, a little,

dining room it's got a downstairs it's got it all you just described what's in every house it's got a living room it's got a bathroom water from the fridge water from the fridge it's got a roof it's got a roof driveway

almost done more than one room there's a door on the front no he's got a down he's got like a downstairs living room and then a downstairs studio like with drums and a podcast studio another TV upstairs you know bedrooms he's

He's got a living room in his bedroom. It's like, and then the backyard is nuts. He's got a built-in pool. He's got the jacuzzi. He's got a pavilion with a fireplace, a refrigerator. The pavilion's nice. And he's got a TV outside. It's a great house.

So he's having a party to watch the first Phillies game. Oh, great. Cowboys. Good to know. Yeah, we're all like, what the fuck? I texted Jay last week. He didn't fucking write. He's like, nothing's going on, man.

Just moving in. But that was yesterday. I do a show with him. I'm surprised I wasn't It should be Josh Mike Fanoia and that's it Yeah

So I am No one funny Wow Wow I'm getting drunk Looking at these guys Are you flaming our beers Secondhand stella

Come on Mike Fanoia's funny I like Mike Sorry Sorry I don't know I don't even I've never even seen much I don't know

I don't know him Mike's fine Yeah So he's like I'm driving down to Philly to get cheese steaks and pork sandwiches from Torn and Luke's right which is you know you got anybody who knows that's the place you go right so I says dude I'll take a ride with you so I show up his house around 12

we drive to Philly to pick up steak and cheese sandwiches that's so far it's so far but I understand and then we're going down I understand more because he starts telling me about Keith is coming it's so important Keith was my comedy dad I didn't have money and he used to force me to come to the city every night when I didn't want to and he was you know it's all about out to hang you just got to be there and your opportunity will happen people have to know who you are and he like he really I didn't know money

I had a shit car but I did it every night and it's I'm kind of you know that he's coming over tonight I want to make sure that everything's cool and I'm really I want him to see my house and see you know Can I guess exactly how this went? I'll tell you how he's building to something and then you're about to snatcher all this

yeah can I ruin this story real quick yeah let me step on your jokes I'll tell you this left I'll let each one of you guess what happened When I get to the point I'll say what happened So then he's like I want to make sure that he has a

Uber I want to make sure he gets there He goes should I get him a black Or should I get him just a regular car And I was like fuck him get him a car Yeah You know And then when he got the car I made sure that it was on

It says loves to conversate And I go loves it hot cold I said ice cold And he's like, should we, I was like, just do it. Fuck him, right? So, uh, we're sitting there. I mean, buddy, we had 10 cheese steaks, 10 pork sandwiches, four, uh, cheese steak

calzones, three, four tuna sandwiches. What are everybody else? What about the day? Fucker. You got, fuck. This is what Bobby brought just in case. I kept adding shit waiting for you. I don't know.

And your timing still doesn't get it. Wait, so, yeah. Are you Jewish? Oh, no, Drew. My God. Yeah, no, no, please. This Jew is done? So, yeah, it's a message.

So, I mean, dude, there's so much food. So we, I mean, it's out on the pavilion. Snacks, chips, everything. TV's on. The Cowboys, Keith's team, the Phillie. It's the fire pits on. Everything, it's beautiful. So Keith pulls up, he goes, Keith's here.

He goes out and grabs him. And he's walking. Walking him through the house and he gets out to the pavilion, there's Keith with this dumb cane. What do you think he said? This place stinks. I don't know. It's worse than that.

He goes, goddamn, your TV's too small. You got to get a bigger TV. It's so particular. You know why? It's real. And I was like, dude, fuck that. There's a fireplace. There's a refrigerator.

I mean, and I was like, Jay, I mean, TV could have been a little bit. I was like, it could have fit the space a little bit. Big, how small TV. You got a small TV because it will never be on it, don't it? I thought for sure the story was going that he did all this shit and then Keith didn't. Yeah, I thought he's done. An empty Uber.

I would make me show happy. I want to see Jay's face because you're just, like that. Today it's gone. I've had to replace already. If he just sent his cane. Yeah. By proxy. A cane with Googley.

Shark couldn't make it. Have he sent Rich Voss instead? Hey, he couldn't be there. Rich and Blackface. He's doing his Def Jam said again. It's so fucked up, though. Keith, I'll tell you, one of the meanest things, me and Voss ever did, Keith, he was taking around a young comic because that's what Keith took around a lot of young comics.

And he came over here. And we, after the sets at, like, you know, 1 o'clock, we used to go to, the diners used to be open around here. Yeah. So we went to a, me, Voss, Keith, and this young buck

went to a diner. And he was like, yeah, we're going to bring the young buck. I'm like, whatever. So we go there. Me and,

me and, me and Voss ordered every, we ordered two appetizers each, a main course, two desserts each. I like how he lumped Voss in on this crime.

Sure. Of course. There's Foss got a water. He's like, why you're ordering so much? He's like, in case Voss comes. I don't know,

I didn't invite him, but who knows? So, me and Voss ordered all this food and the kid ordered all this food we just were telling the kid whatever you want kid get whatever you want and then me and Voss went outside

for a cigarette and we just both jumped into a cat that kid's still working there and that kid's name was Nate Bargotsie he had no choice you need a push sometimes yeah it is me I'll tell you who did the meanest shit ever.

Who do you think did the meanest shit ever to me? Out of all my friends. Atrease? No. All right. Well, I guessed. Probably boss. I'm going to guess boss.

You didn't know? No. No. It's got to be Keith then. Nope. The meanest. Do you know any? Does he know any comics?

Dane Cuck? He doesn't want to say who he wanted to say who I think it is. The Ope is for all of them. No, no, no. I'm talking fun, mean things. He thinks that still don't affect me to this day. Fair enough. Let me think smaller.

I love inside humor. It was Colin Quinn. Oh, wow. Who is that? I keep hearing that name. He's older gentlemen. Oh, okay. You fuck, dude.

If Colin Quinn were there on my show him suck his dick off. I love Colin. Of course you. Legend. Yeah, the older. She's great. One of the best I've ever seen The owner of the comedy seller

Manny, Nome's father Was sick in the hospital Dying. It was terrible And we would all, all of us We'll go up and visit together And, uh... Can I get some spots? Hey, Annie, how are you doing this movie?

Wednesday after 10, after 10. You know, they keep, they keep, they keep... Tuesday I'm at the comedy strip. They keep me late on some days. Rich Ross is no good. I know. Yeah. His last words.

And this hats suck. So me and Colin went this time. We went up there and then we wound up all the way from the East Village. We went up on the east side. We walk all the way back together. And we had this moment. Like we're talking about friendship and how, you know, all of our friends and how our friends in comedy, how friendship works. And about Mani.

It was like this meaningful conversation at a time of my life where I, you know, I had moved here recently. I didn't have any money, nothing. And we, he goes, you want to go? Let's get some food. I'm like, dude, I don't have cash, dude. I can't afford to eat. He's like, I got you, fuckface. Let's go.

We went to this fresh, the French restaurant, bakery slash bakery, nice place. And we start talking more about friendship and all this. And he's listening and we eat and we order all this food and it's awesome. And then he goes, are you want dessert? And I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm good. He goes, I'm going to go look at the desserts. I'll be right back.

So I'm sitting there. Oh, no. And I'm sitting there. And then I'm looking around. 20 minutes goes by. The waitress comes over. You ever you want anything? I'm like, no.

You always have a lot of desserts. Yeah, wow. Maybe I do want dessert. Yeah, if you have that kind of selection. Half hour goes by. The candle goes out. The waitress is like. Candleburns out.

I haven't eaten a half out. Like, it's, I've been there for two hours. Now it's, she's like, sir, are you, are you wanting that? I'm like, I don't want, I'm calling him on my phone, not answering. Now I'm like, something happened. You got kidnapped. Like something, he got beat up or so, you know? Yeah.

Finally, he picks up, my 45 minutes later he picks up. He's laughing hysterically. God, damn. I go, where the fuck are you? He goes, he's like, I'm home. I go, what? He goes, he's laughing. I went home.

I go, I don't have money. He almost choked on his own fucking spit. He sounds like a housewife. He's going through a divorce. He's so, he's laughing so hard. He's like, I know. I'm not kidding. I can't pay the fucking bill.

He hung up on me again. He just hangs up. So I'm calling him. He keeps hang up. I just hear this cackle. And then he's laughing. He keeps hang up me. I'm panicking because now I'm out the door.

and the wages, everybody's looking at me. He finally took a cat back and paid the bill. But that was, that actually made my heart hurt. Of course. That we had all this meaningful conversation. That in the three paninis you had. He just knows all the fat jokes he's got. He knows why.

He just reiterating everything we've said to him. I was at a French restaurant and Fatso can only do his snacks. It's all hot chitos, yeah. It's a pinini. Nothing. French hot chitos. I said expensive. Fresh, right? I had three Panini's.

Yeah. Panini's French, right? Yeah. I guess we're mean, but you guys are fucking vicious, too. We are mean with words. They got a blowout fight on our podcast today at this table. You got to, wait a minute, stop.

But we're not fucking with money shit like that. You got into a fight? No. Call him yelled at me. I yelled that. He felt like I was interrupting him, but he was interrupting me.

Like you just did right now? Just now? When he was going to tell me what happened? Yes. Exactly. Just that. No, but he's the worst, right? You know, Colin.

Calm is a prickly fuck. Like, I love him. No, no, no. He's the, he's the angriest man of met. You are angry. You're the angriest man I've met in comedy. Once you win you over, you see that you are. Remember one time you fucking charged at me like a fucking rhino?

I didn't see him. Come on, I was on my phone. I'm like, I reached out like this. I'm my best friend. I'll tell you why this cunt. What, do you remember? He's a cunt. But you remember what happened?

Do you remember what happened? Can I tell you my point of the story? Let me tell you. and then you can tell you yours is a little long mine is a little long mine is long on his podcast he's like should I tell us he's like now you're gonna fuck it up

let me do it he just had the Panini bit well he had him fought too but you tell this you too Bobby fights on average did I fight with you yes I'll tell you you remember it's every hour with you

I'll tell you why because I like Colin Colin said I like Colin Bobby, stop Coming in here Just like a K-pop fucking teenager What the fuck is that? That's the Cal Loon Don't disrespect the Cal Loon.

That's the Omega Speedmaster. You want to know the comedy. You don't know about anything about his Cal Lund. I know about it. It was the guy, Barry Crimmons. No, stupid. It was Barry Crimmons, you don't know. It's not Barry Crimmons.

What was his name? R.P. Barry Crimmons, but don't Was that not his name? Don't, hey, don't disrespect the Loon. Come on. And don't disrespect the cow either. Man, do I love fat on fat. That's never been happy in his life.

Our old pod's calling him fat. He's finally... He's just been soaking in years of fat jokes, so he just knows them all. It's like this when I hang over Shane. Shane has all the Irish jokes because everyone's always making fun of him for being Irish.

And I'm actually Irish. He just fucking beats the living shit out of me. Let me ask you question. What was the story? What happened? You brought me on the road somewhere. Oh, I thought this is a different fight story. No, that was a different one.

That's the third one for later That's for the Patreon Before you start this I'm working on my anger Okay Good So am I Okay good

When this afternoon I felt bad after that I picked up a class Right after the pod I said afterwards like I shouldn't have shouted Good for you How did you should What is your shouting though

My shouting And your shouting is probably But yours is more like I'm not a fucking bite your nose off can't Right That sounds like yours No I don't threaten violence I just go, you're a fucking idiot.

Go ahead. Tell the story. So you brought me on the road, somewhere in Pennsylvania, one of these, like... Wherever you were grazing. Jesus, right. Let him get it out. Let him get it out. He's drunk. Listen, let this tub of shit get it out.

I am joking, but Bobby, you are a legend. I love it to respect. Oh, you are. You are. You're a real, man. I'm glad to be me. I'm not to be me. I'm not the shit.

New, no! You fucking fat-pubbed shit. All right, go ahead. So, yeah, we went down, one of those, I can't remember which one, but it's one of the Pennsylvania, like, sort of mini-theaters, I guess, you know. It's like four or five hundred seats.

It's a Bob Kelly theater. Yeah, I've done it since, but I came out and I hosted, and it was in between shows or something, and you left your fucking glasses down. So I put them on, and I took a photo, and I said something like, opening for Bobby Kelly. I'm wearing his big dumb

glasses. Now, you called me a name. No, I didn't. I said wearing his big dumb glasses. Oh, really? I said wearing his big... I meant a mistake. I can probably find them. I thought you said, dumb Bob Kelly wearing his glasses. But I tagged whatever did, I tagged you up because it was kind of like opening for Bobby Kelly. Like, hey guys, this is nothing, but it's the best I've ever achieved. Which, by the way, it would have meant the world to him. At the time. And then, well, we were just chatting away. It was before we open for bigger legends like Ari Shafir. He quit the business

because of him. That was the last show. He'll be back. He needs me. He needs that column two old bump. No, I know. So we're hanging out. So I just take it.

It was literally, I didn't even think about it. And then I'm on the phone or something to my girlfriend down this alleyway. And he's sitting there smoking cigars. And next thing you'll know, I just hear it like, and I look up and he's, what on? And he goes, what that fucking dude?

Don't you fucking post it. that fucking shit all these fucking people all big fat Bobby fucking Kelly and I didn't have that and I'm like in shock on what

his illiteracy made him mad at you because he read the capster I think there was other comments that yeah Bobby's a fat idiot no it wasn't that but I'll tell you what

I told you what it was I said don't use me for your fucking likes pussy I don't do my show be funny get fans Don't use Don't fucking use me

There was 13 people in there You could have won over Those glasses look great now It was more than that It was more than 13 It was around 200 I know 550 C theater

You probably felt like You felt like I was coming in And they were like Let me bash this guy No No You should have said dumb You should have said dumb

Dumb's tough Look at Dumb He's got a point I'm nuts You're nuts Look at Dumb That's what I said Look at Dumb

I said I like these dumb glasses I know you do I'm the fuck man I'm serious it wasn't that at all it wasn't that at all it was I hated when social media I hated when people would

come in and do like we'd have conversations and we'd be someone and they'd take a sneaky photo yeah yeah yeah it's like dude you could say hey bro I was on I want to post this is that cool sure fucking I good but it was I came off stage

and all of a sudden he's taking my personal property. I don't even know this fuck, by the way. I don't even know you. We don't know each other. I'm just saying, it seems like a cool guy, Irish. I kind of like him. Let me see what's up. First time on the road with me. And then he fucking posts

while I'm on stage. You probably just bought those $600 glasses. I was $500. I thought we were having $500. But listen, the thing is, listen. That was in fact, it was in fact, it was in fact that you was sneaky. Yeah, there's a sneaky. I hate that. I was so sneaky.

I posted it on fucking line. There's a sneak attack. When he sees it, he's like, oh. I know, that's the thing. That's the shock to him. I didn't, I didn't. But I don't think that was my fault. Yeah, no, it was both.

It was, I shouldn't have. More you. But you, you, this was sneaky. He's using me and my, my name to tag him. It's like, look it fucking. And all he had to do is go, yo, I want to post this. I'd be like, yeah, I got to fucking post it. I'm going to put this.

I didn't, it didn't even register to me. It was like a thing you had to do. But that's because you don't recognize when you're being so... I didn't say he's a fucking dumb problem. I didn't say he's fucking dumb piece of shit. You messies that to me today. You are a dumb piece of shit. I was fucking him.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no. Wait a minute. Not for nothing. He does those things. He doesn't know when he's being wrong, but at the same time, he, you should hear how he talks about you. It's extremely... No, I...

Are you kidding? You should have heard what Lev said before you walked in. Can I say? I'm going to say what Lev said before he said. Yeah, think something up. Well, he said, he goes, do you know what, he has so many candles? He said he's trying It's a seance

He's trying to resurrect But he goes I'm trying to resurrect Bobby's career That's what he said That's what he said That's what he said First of all

That's a hilarious It was It was Lam's first ever Funny joke It would have been Was it your joke? Why would you not Why do you have to filter

Through Fats out? Come on That's a hilarious joke By the way With you What if they work It's 100% Call him

I swear to God Because I did like I liked him I like you because you guys remind me of us, right? Yeah. And I was excited that I'm on. So it was not that. It was that I, that's that fucking sneaky.

In my brain, I would never take a picture of something of Louis. I get it. And be like, look at this fucking idiot. I would just don't do that behind. Look at me stupid. That's how you read it though. Yeah, but it's like. Yeah, but you don't open, you wouldn't open for Louis and go, I got Louis's dumb glasses on my head.

Actually, you might though, because that's not. anymore now that I learned. So you do, you learn your problems. That's a bad move. Be grateful. You learn it on the way up. Yeah, we're learning. Don't joke with anyone.

And for him reacting. Don't try to get fucking lights off of me, fag. Beep that fag. Beep that fag. Beep the second fag. No, but that was that. Was there another one? What was the one with you?

With me? But also, can you forgive him? Because at the time, he was just a young calf. I'll keep this for a while. Can I have to like control? If I got you. Leave it, but don't eat it. Yeah.

Now, what happened to be in here, was being in him, we're at Skangfest in the Cigart tent. Maybe the first time I did in Vegas. First time he's ever had a cigarette. Can I stop for a second? I was just going over all my anger shit in therapy. Okay. This is hilarious to me. Just like more examples.

You don't even remember. You don't even have not a remember. You got this shit isn't even a memory to me. No, but like, I'm sitting next to him and I'm like, the cooler is right between us, right between me and him. Obviously. He means cooler, he means Rich Voss

He's the cooler of any room And all of a sudden And I'm like I'm like I'm fucking next to Bobby Kelly Like I fucking really respect this guy This is one of the OGs Some guy asked for a drink

Right So I reach into the cooler To grab him his drink Trying to be nice A drop of water Hits Bobby's fucking shoe And as I'm reaching And Bobby goes

Nice job dude You just fucking got water all over me And I go I love that's how you talk I love that it's one Yeah It was I my socks were wet

It's never one drop It's somewhere in between It's somewhere in between It's never one He said that I know two fucking assholes It's one splash My leg

I'm swimming home I was water long And you're to go Up to my fucking knees It evaporate I get stretched foot It changed the color of my shoe So he's right next

So as soon as he says that A little droplet A miniature little droplet A mist I missed I missed enough As soon as he said that, me being me, I go, who else needs a drink? And I essentially pulled the drink out and dragged it all over him.

Like, the ice water hit, they went all this kids. Do you understand? We're from Boston, right? Yes. I should have punched him. You don't know him like that. I should have fucking. I should have.

You don't know him like that. Where I'm from, you get fucking hit. Yeah. They gave me a warning thing. Well, you're from. You punched somebody for that. Maybe. At the time.

The first one was the warning. The second one, I want to rip his long. I'm trying to signal to you I'm also a funny asshole He immediately leaned in He goes, do it one more fucking time Kid see where your head ends up I'm sorry for the

Did you leave? Did you leave? No, he heard that Everybody else hears it It's just me and him everybody else keeps talking Fucking they're networking about whatever gay bar show They're talking about It's like silent and awkward between us And finally just go

Hey man like I'm sorry I'm like a fan like you I was like genuinely I'm like hey man I'm like sorry I was just fucking with you and he goes he's like hey man I'm sorry I'm take your head off dude

Well I'll tell you what it is And I blame me You were right actually My friends for this behavior We invented this behavior And we passed it up to another generation But Psychologic

It's like unwell behavior Yeah But I don't fucking know this tub of shit Exactly No one does I'm in a trademark tub of shit Coming to a house of comedy near you Tobo shit

Since then You've both become Two of my favorite Young comedians coming up Right No no I think you're hilarious I mean we were sitting at the stand When it was all this bullshit

And people were just like You know philosophizing And this asshole comes in He just starts trashing everybody And I'm like What a dink Yeah But you know what

And I love Steve. Red is easy. He's like a fucking great guy. But there was like a perfect setup for a great 9-11 joke and I hit it on him. And Bobby, this little fucking Hollywood sellout, he goes, and he pulled the laugh back. So Steve wouldn't be mad at him. But I mean, it was like, yeah, it's like, what did I do? What did I do?

You like, you laughed and then you pulled it back. Yeah, for Steve was like suicidal at the time or something because he lost everything. It was on the break. You don't know what it's like to lose shit. Yeah, you don't know what it's like to lie like that. And I was like, don't pull it back. You know that was funny. Didn't I give you credit after that?

Oh, yeah, I did. No, that was a funny thing. Well, you like that I make fun of certain singers in our industry. Oh, come on now. Oh, that was funny. Yeah, you can say it. I don't care. So anyways.

And Drew, have you had a fight with Bobby yet? No, not yet. Something that's not working on it. It happens when you least expect it. By the way, he opens for Dane. Yeah, I know. Amber, Amber. Amber. Amber.

Amber. Yeah. I've done one show. Amber. Amber. Amber alert. Dude, do ten minutes and don't do any dirty jokes. I don't want any flim-flam with your arms either.

Don't get all fucking weird. Don't get energy. Don't get crazy, dude. Don't get crazy. What was it called? I actually, Norton and Yamanika were talking. My favorite comedy, dude. And Bobby Lee.

And Bobby Lee was like, Bobby, he was talking to me. He was like, dude, you have anger issues. I'm like, I'm not really angry now, and he's like, you are. And Yamanika's like, I've never seen Bobby angry ever. He's never been angry. And then Norton goes, you've never met Bobby. You've never met the real Bobby. I do have fucking stupid.

But you know where it's from? It's from Boston. Yeah. And it's from, like, in Boston. Yeah, it starts with your family. From a troubled childhood. Yeah. It comes from the family where everything's like, what the fuck?

Yeah. Just immediately. And, yeah, that trickles into every interaction. What part of Boston you from? I was born in Jamaica, Plain. Oh, that's a, that's a crazy area. Yeah, yeah. That's over by Deutsche.

But I grew up all over the place. I moved around New England, a bunch of Irish Catholic? Yeah. A bit of a gypsy. By the time I started comedy, I was living in New Hampshire. What part of New Hampshire? Nashville. Okay.

Yeah. All right. This was fun. That's what the fuck podcast. Who gives a fucker he's from? He sucks. And his head is huge. He gives a shit.

She's, shut up, you fat fuck. What a Chick-fil-A while we talk. We're having a good time, calling each other fat. He's like... He's asking me questions on his podcast. And what was Jamaica Plains like for you? You don't even know what that is. Not for nothing.

Jamaica Plains you probably thought it was a crepe. Not for nothing. How was Jamaica Plain? It was all right. We lived right on the border where it started to be black, so it was all right. Now, you came up way after, like, three generations after us. Yeah, yeah.

I started... My first open mic was 2014. And where did you start? I was living in New Hampshire. My first open mic was. in Cambridge. Middle East. Oh, the Middle East?

Yeah, and then I worked the door for Dick Doherty for a few years. Oh, yeah. Yeah, did the Worcester. He only had Worceston at that point, and then just, yeah, just... Did he pay you? Yeah, $25 a show, but I had to do all the numbers.

Holy shit, this sucks. Shut up! You know what? Oh, my God. That was right. He called it. Do you do this on serious like, this sucks?

This sucks all. You can't ask me a question? Oh, my God. Fuck you, Bo. Oh, how was North Carolina? Was it empty? Shut up. How was your first open, like?

Are you nervous? I love that Lev has the Lewis J. Gomez book of funny. Yeah. Dude, you guys are fucking idiot. Why have you said anything about Indian guys yet? Yeah, why don't you say that word stupid? I could be fucking an opener right now. No, you couldn't.

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I don't know him. Yeah, I'm talking to the guy twice in my life. And he's from my hometown, you fuck. Yeah, I know the cow loon. You don't know anything about the loon. You only know the cow. You guys are always going on about all this fucking. Balls remember when

fucking horseshit Shut off Calhoun's still going We did this We did that Everyone used to get paid And coach One Friday a month

Who gives a fuck I talked to Michelle I talked to Michelle last month Collin' shut down They were in the building down Oh what a shocker The show is still going

Until the last fucking night They're shutting it down Making condominiums Yeah they are That's a good deal That's a smart move It's been one age That's a smart move

It's the whole time Then I finally went to the kids And they were like Fuck this dude I'm playing duck sauce For 25 years We're selling You guys don't know you can't even relate

You're bored You're bored at a fun conversation About Chinese Look you idiots, bored I do you dumb ass Not having a good time You know you enjoy a nice boring conversation You don't know you're talking

This is your shitty cigar talking You should be having Shut up You're talking about sockets It's all we want You never been to the golden bananas Everybody Everyone relax

All right All right let's tone it down Let's go back to call And love a big path Oh my God This is what happens He blows up in one time in the wrong, and he's all soft now. I think it was funny, though, right?

It was funny, wasn't I? Colum's the leader of you fucking losers. What was Spring like in Saskatchewan? That's crazy. You were trolling me, right? You were not sincerely asking a question. No, I want to know. Let me ask you question.

Your mom's name. Susan. Susan, that's a good boss. It's on the bathroom wall in there. Iron Catholic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a good time. She's grew up West Roxburgh.

How did you start opening for a day? Delivery, new topic, new topic delivery. Don't say delivery on Bobby. How was it opening for Dan? It was great. Are you still opening it for him? Yeah, I'm doing like six shows. Yeah, a couple of casinos coming up.

Yeah. That's great. What are you watching his schedule? No, that's what they do. He's trying to get tickets. He's trying to get tickets. I don't know. I'll get you two more tickets if you want.

Dane would fire him in a second. If you got him two more tickets to scalp. These two would be, Burr and them fucking gone. No way. 100%. You say it's a bad thing. It's like,

yeah, we don't kiss ass well to fucking celebrities. I don't want your kisses. My act would be fine for burr. Not your act, your attitude. Your energy. Your face.

What are you doing with the court? No, I hate billionaires. You nervous twilight. All that. Whatever that is. Wrapping your knuckles getting ready to punch me on the jaw Whatever that is It's a big fucking jaw

It's gonna take me while You can reach it from there, pal Take a swing What's the name of your podcast? Cockfight Now let me ask a second You guys said you're the new regs No

No, that's just because we were recording here We said where what regs wishes it was That's what we said We said We said what regs tries to be What it used to be That's the young guys With nothing to lose

Young funny guys are nothing to lose and some attitude, you know? Yeah, but we all have careers now. Right. Collectively. Yeah, we do. No, you do, of course. Is Lewis doing well?

That's mean. He just bought a house. Yeah. I know, because he... What? Because he what? Because he fucking has that podcast scheme thing. Gas Digital.

All right, relax. That guy's shooting me a half hour. Everybody, chill out. No, it's fucking, you know, you guys are old... Wow, you fucking turn. Wow. I was literally just about to... insult you and you fucking came in.

Why don't you insult fucking Lewis, you pussy? Say something. I would insult it. There he is. He just said something about gas digital. Get him! Who is that? I love this, though. He heard that we are calling ourselves the new rags. It's because we're in the same

room. I tell you what? I would love it if you guys took over. Oh, yeah. We'll sub-in. Whatever you need. That fucking A. Well, we only have three. And you've got four. So we need to get, we need to, we need to borrow. Honestly, I think Bobby would be an excellent fourth mic on cockfight.

I like this. I don't have enough energy for you through. I don't know about that. You can just be the dying stepfather. Who's the same thing you're on race? Who's the guy goes like this. So where are you from? Do you have a new, you have a sister?

Tell me of his sister. Okay, worst hell gig, go. Who's the draw on, who's the draw on, who's the draw on the road? Well, that bottle, Dan Sotas, to draw anywhere. Yeah. Soda's still underrated. Dan Soda is the, probably to me, the funniest guy out there. He is, hands down, the best.

Lev. If Bobby hits that bell three times. It's a fat test. Whoever grabs chips first loses. Obviously, you're not supposed to say it. You didn't put a strap on it. So Leav won't be able to put it on his face. He has his own strap in his pocket.

He's got his own hooks. We got the mics for a goddamn second. Carabiner with a rubber band. I didn't come here for hoopla. Yeah, well, go ahead and punch me. I came here to make it. Why did you come here? Honestly, we came here.

Shut up. Nobody cares. Nobody cares why you came here. Yeah, love sucks. Do we get these out of the way? I'm a little distracted. Why do you? I'm starting to talk with my mouth watering like this.

Look at the two of you. Your nipples are going hard. I'm not a fan of my dick. No? No. Look at you. I'm over a cool wave guy. You can't stop looking at it.

You can't stop looking at it. out of his eyes keep going. Am I allowed to eat them or am I fat? Still a fat test. Still a fat test. You can run all the miles you want in the morning. What happens in the afternoon? No, you know, when the regs first started though, it was podcasting was nothing. So we didn't know it was going to be

around. So we thought a couple people would just listen to this. So we were doing and saying the most fucked up shit you could. But now that could There was no sponsors. Now there's a couple of people listening to this and we're not saying it's fucked up anymore. There's no sponsors. I may all the sponsors I had were made up.

Did you actually make up Spotties? Dude, today's episode sponsored by Big Dumb Glasses. Today. Today, brought to you by Chase. Chase Banking.

Is whatever business Bobby's song? Chapadele. Chapolet? I'm doing you being Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, he knows Chapo. Dude, today's

Because you're fat. You get it? Yeah. Today's sponsored by stomach staplers. I ain't get a stomach staple No but we I know you did I thought you got something

What'd you get A sock or something They're a fucking scarf Wrapped around the inside You got a sleeve It was wrapped with a belt Like a junkie's arm He went

You got something It's really fucking nothing I've talked to it I've talked to it This is when he fucking Took my glasses I know

That wasn't them Oh my God That got charged You did my top four Nature You're not charging you in an alley It's crazy You don't want

Bobby Kelly I thought it was an eclipse No he came running up Vicious when provoked No He is If you If you put

The Wild Kelly He does not like water Yes No water But I know I've told this before I did this podcast When it was his big coming out You know

You went off up into the mountains And you lost all the weight And we came down here And we sat here for an hour and a half and Bobby's, Bobby, you went up to your caravan of the New Hampshire. It's called the tiny house. It's not an English dirt hole like you guys ever. It's a trailer.

It's not a guy in Ritchie film. I would kill for a fucking caravan right now. He would kill for a car. I'm eyeballing one man. A car or a van. Hang on a second. Don't do it, Bobby. Oh, shit. Oh, God.

What's the point of torching you? Look at it. I want to do it like a rat. Oh, don't do that, you motherfucker. You have to put a little on the trap. He's going to get one without it going off. Oh, my God, smell it. Is that bottom you? Now that it's out.

Look at him. He's not even looking at you in the eye. I'm fine. He's going blotchy. I'm fine. He's sweating. You got the meat sweat. Chuck the fuck out.

It's going to have a fucking cocky by the end of the episode. Everybody relax! No, when we started, we really could say whatever we wanted because we didn't have sponsors. Now, look, you can't fuck Dan's career because Lewis wants to say the end word every five minutes. Sure. And even Lewis can't do that shit. anymore you know um we did a lot of we did a lot of but that doesn't stop him we have to edit a lot but listen but yeah we have to edit a lot of shit and back then we didn't

we didn't have to do shit when lewis sucked my dick on stage for the for the uh the blow job competition i might have missed that episode it was a deal though you didn't see that we had a blow job company jew's not a fan i started doing uh live y k w ds like we were the first podcast to do live shows. And we did it at the Village Underground. It was me, Bailey J, Joe List, I believe Joe was there with Dan, Lewis and Jim Norton. And we had a blowjob competition between Lewis and Billy Jay. It's, no, he wanted to. We all did. But it's actually Lewis's closer now, which is pretty funny. He got a, he got a dildo. Why? I'm sure it is. I'm sure it's great. I'm good. Come on.

I thought we're not having fun. You fags all fucking went quietly. Well, I also just want to make sure No, all right, forget it. I love Lewis. We love Lewis. Lewis is my key, Robinson. Yeah, Lewis has helped me a shit done.

Just want to say that. How's it going? I wish it was Keith. I ain't know, Big Jay. I wouldn't mentor you. We love Lewis. So he got a dildo to put in my pants as, you know, not my dick

because I'm not going to get hard with Lewis But uh He got a dildo that looked Like it would be my dick It was average cock And it looked like a real cock So it looked like

It was like a little five We were filming it like assholes We shouldn't have filmed it We should have just did it And had audio of it And not filmed it But we filmed it And we put it out there on YouTube

But when you saw it on YouTube It looked like he was sucking my A real cop And I remember he got last comic standing Like second round And he called me He goes you know man You gotta take the video

You doggie You take all those videos of me sucking your dog down Yeah Keep the ones with the slurs I might get last comic sucking Keep the fake one up In hindsight he should have kept it up He would have won

Yeah Oh shit, yeah By the way, for the record You spazzing on Pete Lee Or the equivalent of him going on To get sympathy for his fake house that burnt down or whatever For his tree house that he was renting is the same thing as you getting

fucking credit for going to get his stomach surgery and coming back off the mountain like, I've just been walking a lot, dude. It's the same thing. You both got credit for a fake thing. I did never told anybody I didn't. I went up telling everybody I did, and I did it on Rogan.

That's how I found out. I sat through an hour of you giving me health advice. And now I'm listening to you. I'm in the shower. I'm in the shower like in fucking good fellas. I'm going, Bobby! I swear to God He goes

You twist the rent to Rogan He goes Yeah I got my stomach staple I go You fucking cut He's telling me You gotta get out and walk dude You gotta move

I've never been a fucking fat fuck Motherfucker The same thing It's Pete Lee I couldn't My house burnt down That you rented I couldn't believe it

There's an hour and a half Up there on YKWB Buddy I did the reverse What he did He went on Fallon You did it the same thing. After your stomach burnt down.

He went on Fallon and said his house burnt down. I went on Rogan and said I got my stomach surgery. I told the truth on the biggest platform. Sure. He said his house burnt down. So when I saw him, I gave him... That's not a bad counterpoint, I gave him... It's not a counterpoint.

It's just an accurate... You're just an idiot. I don't know what that means. I gave him your house burnt down sympathy. Yeah, yeah. And then I found him... out that it was his stuff in someone else's house. It was a store, Juner?

Yeah, he was squatting in some guy's house. And he goes, now's the time to buy tickets for me on the road, guys. He goes, you know what, we can just laugh about it. You can buy tickets to me this weekend. And that's why I just called him out. I was like, yo, dude, it's not your house. Where did you do that? I was renting. Just out of the salad?

Yeah, I came down to sell it. I did it on every fucking podcast and radio. I respected that. And I can't wait for Pete Lee to walk up to me and go, like, hey, I just thought when you said that, it wasn't very cuddly of you. I thought there was Well, he just trashed me on On Story Wars. Well, he went on Story Wars.

It's like, you know, I'm a little mad that, you know, Bob Kelly said, and then Jay was like, yeah, but bro, you gave, you said, I agree. House, and he gave you house burnt down sympathy. 100%. I would have gave you stuff burnt out. As soon as I found out, it was a rental, I was like, I don't know why I even thought about that. Fuck that.

There's no one of your own property. Oh, my God. My landlord's house burned down. Four. You didn't have to send it up to that show? I feel really bad. My landlord's house burnt down. I mean, I feel...

Not my daughter dying, but... Felt like a daughter to me. I would have... That's the equivalent of giving up for the troops. I would have gave him sympathy. Hey, man, all my stuff burnt... That's still sad. I feel bad he lost all his shit.

But it's just shirts and shit. Yeah. Somebody is just shirts and shit. Your entire life. Yeah, it's not a... I thought he bought... First of all, I thought he was doing so good. He bought a beach house on Malibald.

That was quite the shocking moment where I go... Okay, Nate's paying well. Yeah. I said, Nate and magic. Which, by the way, he's not. Night. That's because you want to show with Shane. Yeah, Shane pays fucking well.

I have a house now. I own a house. I think I could just text them and say, hey, listen. You are the size of a house. Yeah. You ate a house. What are we? We mean mean here?

Yeah. Yeah, we are. Being gross and crude. Yeah. We don't like your fucking facial that it doesn't connect. Shave it. And you're going bald. Yeah, going bald.

I was up in 3 a.m. The bald guy comes at you and the black guy comes at him. He was just talking about that earlier today. I think it's going. Damn it. You can get stuff, though. Get some stuff in it. Rub something in there. Flight to turkey is not cheap.

No. I'm not doing flight to turkey well. No, get him. Just to hang out. Not even get the surgery. I can't even afford to get there. You're just eating turkey. Ah, you cock-suck.

We got to figure it out, dude. We got a fucking ball. I love it. I'm tired, dude. I'm tired, dude. Yeah, well, listen. We did everything. We had turkey.

How did you get, how did you hook up with these assholes just from the club? I bowed in the club. How did you hook up? Yeah, I vouch for him to call him. Yeah, I'd met him maybe a couple times. We had hung out and stuff. I mean, we were buddies at that.

No, yeah, we didn't really, friendly acquaintances at clubs. We didn't really know each other, but we'd get to train sometimes by accident. Yeah, we'd get the train together. They still don't like each other, Bob. Now, you know, do you guys really not like each other? No, you never be on the train, and then you look up, and there's someone you know, and you go, fuck. Oh, hey, yeah. No, no, I just, yeah, I've been looking forward to listening this all day, but whatever, yeah.

How are you? Where did you do your first open mic? It's a good question. No, we get along, well? I've known gone for 10 years, and over 10 years, everybody's going, I hate that guy. I'm the only one who stuck by him the whole time. A lot of people hate you. Levs notoriously hate it.

I mean, a lot of people talk about you behind your back. I stuck up for you. There's a lot. There's a lot of room to talk back there. Who hates me? Who hates me? I'm not going to tell you, but I... Is it anybody funny?

Most people. Oh, I know about the funny thing, though. No, nobody's funny. I mean, I'm kidding. Nobody talks about you. No, he met that shit, dude. He did. That hurt my feeling.

It is true. Nobody knows you exist. I can say Lev. That's even worse. Well, what is... What do you want? I'll tell you what he wants. Me and about that

He wants a Dorado Take what you want I will I refuse How's it smell Cool rancid Smell one Let's both smell It smells like teen pussy

See if we can smell it Dude don't hold it up Don't tempt yourself Oh No I can't Just smell it Got a whole bag of home Just smell it

Yeah I'm fine I'm fine Smell it I don't know You're not like on a diet Or something Why don't you just eat the fucking

You're just on a die I don't need How old do you love 28 20 yikes Now you think this is the funny thing. People compare me and you a lot before I met you because you

used to be really sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and you go, I used to go up and down too. I go, good-looking Bobby, fat Bobby. He used to go up and down on Dade's cock. Come on, that's not bad. He would have laughed, but he needs buddy. No, let it's sit. That's not funny. He can laugh at that. I can laugh at that. I stand by that. Well, it smells so good. The cheese is hit me. Somebody's going to do it.

The cheese. Oh, dude, the nachos hit me. Nothing like fake cheese. It's my favorite type of cheese. Chemical B-37s hit my dozer. Yeah, I get that red 40 in you. Are you going to try to lose? I'm in the gym right now, brother. This is a regular size can of beer, by the way.

He's in the gym right now, Dorito on the mic, beer in his mouth. Somebody's take a photo. That should be the photo for the show. I'm really going to turn around. You'll see. I don't like that Lev has thin guy hands, but fat guy arms. Yeah. Hold your hand up.

It's tough on the watch. Why do you have such a little baby hands? I don't know, dude. I'm a fucking fat boy. Let me see those. Hold your hands up to him. Hold your hand up to him. No, I'm going to put on my little girl.

At least I don't have my fucking wife's gay name tattooed on my fucking fingers. Because you don't have a wife, you fucking gay boy. You have nobody. Because you can't afford a tattoo. You have to wait for Skank Fest to get a tattoo. I didn't get in, Bob. He sneaks his hand in while someone else is getting it done. Yeah, yeah.

Just do a little bit on that. Do a little bit on that. You got my wife's name on his finger. I have somebody You do have little tiny hands I do have a small hands Yeah you got small hands You got a small pecker

Well you got Don tattooed So you remember when you feed At dawn Wow dude In the morning type of thing Can you Can you give us the band dana So we can throw it back at you

Can I don't Dude All these jokes I bond them in This is why his generation stinks You know what He's also He's had a couple of beers

He's getting energetic He's No we have a drink It's at 6 They stand by their jokes I hate it Sure They have a bomb.

That's why we invented that. So we'll let you know when it's good and when it's not. And guess what? It's Dawn. You fucking did a dust. You got a dusk joke in you too, stupid. Fuck you. And your small hands.

Oh, you're the skinniest guys. The fat is one at the table. Yeah, I'm allowed to be. Yeah, there we go. How great would it be? Me and you both got shredded and he got fat. How great would that be? It would take so long.

It would take so long. What he does to his body? It would take one. success and then it goes away. And you'll be a fatso. You think I can be successful? I think you have one. A lot moment.

You're on your third success, dude. I remember my first success. I'm doing my Edinburgh show, The Lodge, dude. Did you ever do Edinburgh? Yeah, loads of times. But first of all, in Ireland, you go there every summer starting out. But it's a pain in the ass, right? Yeah, but it's fun when you're young.

And you do a group show. So those five years, you're all sleeping on the... You've got like one house with 12 people sleeping on the floor and You're getting drunk every night. You're fucking sluts. It's great. It's a lot of fun. I remember Che went to it before he was famous or when he was becoming famous before S&L.

But he had sponsors going. He had all this shit. And then I remember another friend went and it was a nightmare. They had to cancel it. Nobody came. Yeah. If you don't have money behind it, you fuck. You got to put crazy money.

Did you go? No, I have a buddy. I was planning on doing it this last year. I ended up having a kid. But I was putting in like the effort to find out like what that process is like. A nice cop out the fucking kid. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's, I'd rather have done Edinburgh. It wouldn't be over. Don't let him bitch you out. No, I'm just saying Edinburgh would have been. Edinburgh would have been a month. The kid's forever. He's going to die alone. I know he is forever.

I've had a girl over for six years. She doesn't like you. She does not. No, it's, it's, she's hot? He makes her, because together, they're like a good, perfect couple. Yeah, skinny and fat. It's like, bad at everything. And she's like up here.

He's training for a marathon. She's running a marathon. She's running a marathon. cook, she clean, she speaks languages and shit, he's sitting there picking fucking filled out of his belly button. Yeah, playing Switch 2, just trying to get better with Mario Kart. He's balding, he fucking. He's surrounded by

traitors, dude. It's right by traitors, fucks. Are you coming at me? I'm gonna, yeah, we're gonna... It's so good to you guys. Make sure the truth is known. I've been your only friend in comedy for 10 years. That's, I've heard me so much. No one likes this guy. No one thinks matters. Can't be true. For years, I've gone, that guy fucking, he's great. What's a Lewis?

I just was down sales. I was just downstairs. That's the most made a guy in comedy. Who is? Leve is. No, you are more hated the people. No, he's not. No, he's not, Lev, no. Lev, look at me. Lev, you're, no.

It's you. Lev, I have personal fights with people all the time. But yours is just a general, like, bad attitude. People fight him because they care. Nobody even wants to fight you because it's not working out. I don't just crush the open mic. Here's what I'll stand on. Where's Netflix?

If someone says, don't stand on much. It'll break. Yes, thank you, Bobby. If. If someone says they go to a fight with love, the other people go, why? Yeah. Why is he what you did?

What did you just said is so mean? What the fuck? Put those down. Put those down. Let me say. No, no, no. Can I say something? Can I stand on this?

Freshly bitten nails. Yeah, but you're fucking nobody. 99% of the people. Not after the sales. Dane, please come back in the ball. Torgasmus. Drop the zero. Get with the hero.

Torgasm, too. I talked about this. This is crazy. This is crazy. It's not crazy, but I talked about Stone L'Regs. Did you know that Torgasm was really Jim Brew's idea that Barry Katz stole and gave to Dane? Makes sense? I mean, with Barry Katz's book of business, I'd believe it.

Yeah, Dane, I got a great idea I just came up with. Not a good Barry Katz. Yeah, I did. I tried. You know what? You've got to be undeniable. That was great. That was what Tony Hinsg.

It wasn't more like Tony They're pretty much the same He's slow Tony Slow Tony Less gay Tony Unbelievable Unbelievable Can I just say it real quick

99% of the people who Who do not like me They're not funny They're not fucking funny They're not Blah Blah End the story Where was your first don't like me

You stink at comedy I can't ask him about His fucking where he's from And you get to open up to us Actually I'm pretty funny Just saying Fuck you you You zesty bitch

I'll take that That's fair enough Fucking make me sick Zesty bitch Well all of his adjectives are sauces That fuck You fucking barbecue bitch

You're being really Polynesian right now dude You ranch fucking fagg That guy sucks You blue cheese up there dude Blue cheese up there dude He's just my favorite. Good stuff, Lev. Thanks, man.

You guys hide me in the corner. Back me in the corner. I'm not a fucking food my way out. I'm not a food reference my way out of this. It's a beautiful fat mind. There's not a hell of where I'm going to go. Does your girlfriend really run marathons? She's trading for one right now.

What does she do? She have a job, job? Yeah. And you live with her? Yes. No, we live together. What do you mean? You live with her.

You live with her. She develops for a living. It's 70% her or 30%. 50-50. Sometimes my 50 comes a little late. That's nuts. Sometimes your 50 comes in meat. Yeah, yeah. Or support.

For work, she helps develop Section 8 housing and I limit it. Oh, really? She does Section 8. Is she voting for this new guy? I think so. Yeah, she is. Are you? Can I get a hookup? I'm not voting, dude. I'm not fucking gay. Who cares? What? It's all in nothing. The mayor is a fake job.

They don't do. Oh, you got to go soon. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Anyways, we're going to wrap it up. Guys. Liz wants to do. 15 minutes. He's in at the celebrity. What did that say?

I missed it. We all were going to be down there. Liz has to have Drew downstairs in 15 minutes. Anyways, listen, guys, I want to say something.

I fucking, I love all you guys. I think you're the funniest motherfuckers. We like you. Hollywood ball up, dude. And we think you're all right. Hey,

Leve, I'm talking to them. Let him talk to them. I'm talking to them. I'll sit down. Have something to you while I talk to these guys. No,

I'm, oh. Oh, Jesus. Come on, eat it, Leav. I can't. Save it for the Patreon. Let, let, let, let, let. Go to the Patreon.

I'll eat a chip on the Patriot. So, uh, what do you got coming up, buddy? Oh, I'm recording my special October 23rd, New York Comedy Club. Comes to Shows, Thursday night. Lev. You. Lev. He's done it out.

You got mad. Stop. I've just, I've seen your 15 minutes. 10 years ago, it's still the same. So what? You have the same 15? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. It's just different fat jokes.

He's got new ones. We need to have some fat jokes in there. What is your website, buddy? Columtheral.com, and it will forward you to my link tree. You know, link tree? What do you fucking sell windows? A link tree. His link tree. Get a punchup. Get a punchup. Live. I know, but I already had this set up, and then they asked me to send Everton over, and you've got to send each one individually.

Buddy, you have left to do it. It's like every show is five things. I don't have that money. I wouldn't do something like that for less than 30. You want it never to get done? He's got Shane handouts coming to him You gotta go over to fucking punchup. Well, if they onboard me, I'll do it. I email them and they ignored me.

Of course. I'm talking about, sorry. Look at all these dates left. That's all in the same calendar year. Could you imagine? Between all these dates, what? 60 tickets will be sold.

You would dream of 60 tickets. Pull up Lev's dates. They didn't put them up yet. There's one more date. Edmonton. But look at me. Most of him is Spotify, Apple. He has a Discord.

What a loser. That was bad, man. Oh, shit. Oh, you fucking put it on a TV. All right. So go to Lev's. What do you have? Lev has a date.

That's actually two night stuff. That's sick shows. But it's not even at a club. It's in just the town. I'm just there. It'll be outside the hockey. Club is it in Emmington. Comedy. Comedy. Comic strip. Comics. Go check a month.

I'll be playing there in Vancouver the week after. Come out to that. We got New Jersey coming on sale soon. Watch Cockfight podcast. Bobby's going to be our new fourth mic. Check that out. And what are you got, buddy? Drew on Comedy.com for all tour dates. Connecticut. Oh, look at all those dates. Connecticut, Minnesota, Texas, Jamesville, Wisconsin, Florida, Charlotte. He really does look like a fat-dank cook. What a fucking photo, by the way, Drew. right there.

Where is that? 16? No, that was from like two years ago. Why would you make that face and then put it online? Because he just got done sucking a headline his pocket. Yeah, that's how you get.

You want to get on the road, pal? You want to sell tickets? Start opening your mouth. Codin up, Drew's... Dane, wait, wait, don't think the photo yet. He popped his clock out now. He just walked up the stairs.

Anyways, check him out. Very funny guys. And of course, check out their podcast. I'm glad you guys are doing a podcast together. The regulars. At least is a fucking funny podcast. It's called Cockfight, and where is it available?

Everywhere you get, you get podcasts, Spotify, iTunes. It's on YouTube. It's on everything else, yeah. That's the way to do it. And check out punchup.com. Live slash Robert Kelly. All my dates. I am touring all year long at a bunch of places.

The port's great. The port I'm doing it this weekend. What a great club. 60 seats. I'm bringing Danny and Joe with me too. Last time we were there, we did a seance in the haunted hotel. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, that hotel they put you out.

So check that out, Rochester. You know what? I've been saying good room. Fuck that room. They don't book me. Every time I see that guy, he's like, hit me up. I'll give you a weekend. Hey, Matt, early.

That guy sucks. Fuck you. That guy fucking sucks. You won't respond to my DMs. Are you shit me? I had a really good time there. A couple of weeks. I love it.

Can I say, fuck off, you fake, bitch. Can I think it's awesome. I'll say something. I love their lineups, too. The people they actually book really good. Yeah, they book high-end. No, he did overpay me on the show Pretty bulletproof.

I'll tell you why, because they have a good filter system. That's what it is, yeah. They don't let shit down on the road. Does a whale like you hate a good filter? I'll be back. I'm going to take a piss. Yeah, why don't you leave? How'd you piss?

Why don't you go back? Joe, what are you got, Joe? Don't Danny, you go. Port Charlotte, I've never bombed harder in my life. Vance Annie, I will not go back there. Really? Why? They're too old. They're too old.

No, you got to get, if you come with me, it's a younger crowd. Mike Calta Can I go with you? No If you come with me Big if Ruined your opportunity With those glasses

Bit you dumped motherfucker You reminded him You fool Drew's gonna be with you now Can I go with you? Never I'll also be in Porte Charlotte

You think Drew's gonna dump Dane For me Are you out of your mind I wouldn't let him do it What do you got Joe Check out the cheese show On YouTube Just go to YouTube

Type in the Cheese Show It's the first fucking thing that comes up. Don't swear because these guys are here. That's a long call. What if Nate listens to this? I'm sorry.

You just fucked yourself out of an opening gig, buddy. Danny, what do you get besides big eyebrows? Follow me on Instagram and check me out on Instagram at Danny Brath and everywhere else you get your

cunt. I get my cunt on Instagram. What's going on? What did we interrupt that? You can follow me on Instagram and you can get me on Instagram. man.

I'm trying to I'm trying to Is that Is that guy Is the guy who had a friend Who had his mom die here? Yeah Zach

I'm sorry I'm sorry about last week No don't be sorry It was funny Okay Who's mom died Was your friend all right Was he okay with it?

I mean how okay Can you be with your mom dying If she's rich Cheching Wow He's not Chinese I didn't know He spoke

She was rich And she was Chinese. That's why he said Ching Ching. Ching. Ching. I'm so sorry, Admiral. What do you got besides a sad roommate? You just follow me on Instagram

at Zachary Unlimited. That'd be sick. Thanks. All right. I do you have three interns. Why do you have so many people for this? We just have Joe. Yeah, because you can't have more people because of you. He has one guy recorded and one guy bring Doritos every week. That's for you. That was a special

kid. That's what I left dreams about it. When I'm rich, I'm not going to have a guy for my Doritos. A guy for my pretzels. I'm going to have a crispy cream guy. I have a whole squad of guys, Carrey. I make sure, we're going to patreon.com right now. Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. If you want to see the extra one, if you want to get the show live,

if you want to ask questions, and you want to get an extra Patreon a week, go there, join up. It's five bucks. That's it. And support the show that way. If not, make sure you subscribe to everything and leave comments. and support the show that way and share all the shit and we'll see you guys next time on you know what dude