Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #609 | Harrison Greenbaum, Anthony DeVito, Greg Stone | Man Stuff

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

This week on YKWD Harrison Greenbaum, Anthony DeVito, and Greg Stone join the pod to discuss, Man Stuff, The Trump Time Magazine cover, and magic,Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DUDE and use code DUDEand get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, I hope you're ruining this. Where's the Bargana, man.

I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. Hey, what's going on? This episode is brought to you by prize picks. You and I make decisions every single day, but on prize picks, being right can get you paid.

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Prize picks. It's good to be right. Hey, what's up, everybody? It's Robert Kelly. We're back with another episode of YKWD. You know what, dude. And we're at the Comedy Cellar Studios above the world famous comedy seller,

and I have a beautiful show tonight. I hope you guys enjoy it. But before you move anywhere, please hit the subscribe button. Please hit the like button and comment. Please let us know who you like, what you like, and when you like, things in your bum. Danny, who do we get? We have straight off of his new YouTube comedy special. This is me.

This is who I am. Harrison Greenbaum. I also have Greg Stone and Anthony DeVito. No credit? What kind of shit is that? You're Harrison's friend. I blew Harrison's special name, and then I was like, I'm not going to do a credit for them. Why?

Because I messed up Harrison. Let's do it again. is always trying power moves right always he's always trying to undermine Greg and I it's funny because I said I would love Anthony and Greg

he was like why I have Harrison I was like but I like them too they're great together my favorite and I love Harry and he's like okay yeah he sent us he actually sent us

a series of rules for this time they were called Danny's rules actually I did make those rules you did it yeah and one of them was put headphones on both ears so you're breaking the first rule already. Anthony and Greg Stone

off of the Welcome to Talk Town podcast. Welcome to Talk Town. To Talk Town. That's right. What is it about? Just Talk Town, baby. The town where they talk. You've got to do it. You've never done it. Yeah.

They've never been asked. We're booking dates right now. Yeah. You're going to do it? Give me a date. Where is it filmed? Oh, we do a hotel Indigo. Yeah, you don't know about that.

We got a thing going. Nobody else is doing. Well, now everybody knows. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. Oh, yeah. We don't.

it seven times. I'm gonna, I'm gonna fuck him in his ass and Hotel Endigo. Whoa. This is not Fucktown. This is Talk Town. Oh, that's be our podcast.

That's a separate podcast. Yeah, it's a new one. I'm gonna start with you. Yeah, fucktown. It's called Fucktown. Yeah. And we end every episode you're going,

mm, delicious. It's like Comtown, but nobody finishes. Yeah, exactly. And it's not successful. Whenever you're ready for me to finish my sentence. Oh.

That's right. Now you're asserting dominance. Moody dad in the house. Wow. I want to tell you about this great. Hack. Okay. We don't pay for a studio.

Let's not name names. Tell me about Danny. Harrison on fire tonight. I can already tell. What do you say? He said, let's not name names. Because you said, I want to tell you. And I said, tell me about Danny.

Oh, right, right, right. Hack. Go ahead. No, it's not even worth it now. Wow, you're a silly bitch. Not even worth it now. I'm going to sit over there by myself. Greg is pouty tonight.

That's right. Why? What's wrong with you? Tell us about your hack. We don't pay for studio. Why? Because it's expensive. A hotel is cheaper.

And someone gets to sleep. and you get a hot tub. So we just do our podcast in a hotel. In the hot tub? Where? Hotel Indigo. Where? You should do it in the hot tub.

Lower his side. We can't because the bubbling is too much noise. And then our producer gets real shitty about us drop. No, you can't. If we're getting a hot tub, the bubbles are on. And our producer is a real bitch about dropping equipment into the water. She's real weird about that. Pretty dangerous if it's plugged in one episode of Talkdown.

Yeah. What if the hotel is booked up? Oh, we had that. problem last month. We ran into that last month with the U.N. being in town. It was a bit of an issue, Bob. What do you do then? You pay about $900.

Oh, my God. Then it turns... It doesn't save you money in the long term. No, no. Yeah, then it goes from... That blows any savings right there. Absolutely. That's so funny. One time blows all the savings. Every possible we save $50 a day. It costs us zero, except once

a month where it's a thousand. Yeah, exactly. We've done it twice. That's where we're at right now. We've got a hot tub. You've only done it twice? Yeah, we've done it twice. Oh, so you're definitely not in the savings. Yeah, dude. No, no, no, we're still very much in the red right now.

You can't put a price on a hot tub. Yes, you can. Who's sleeping there? I sleep there every time. Well, last time I didn't let me. I got screwed. But the idea is that I get to sleep there because I got away from my family for two nights.

Two nights? Why two? Because I just, the extra night, I just, it's my time. You sleep on the streets. I walk around New York. It'd be funny if he winds up staying there for a week and he charged you cost you thousands. thousands of dollars each month to do a podcast.

You got to walk by a bed Greg jerked off on? You got to sit on it while we do the podcast. What? They don't have to... No, we get a room with chairs. I mean, there's only one chair in a room. No, we get a hotel that has three chairs. You realize this is how they make porn.

This is literally how they make porn. Yeah, that's what we were worried about going into this thing. Are they... Are they going to turn it into a porn? Yeah. Well, do they let you walk in with all of your equipment? They don't ask any questions when you roll in the gear? Don't far.

breathing breaths, brother. Because I can't keep speeding this fast. You're yapping a lot. I love you. That's why I feel terrible right before we talk. I know. You're fucking, you're out of the gate hot. So anyways, what are you going to do? I mean, you chill a little bit. Anthony will fall asleep if he doesn't get a word every three minutes. No, we walked in and they were like, they're filming porn. And cameras? We said, yes, we are. And they said, there's no law against that brother. So then we just bring the cameras in. Weird people just come in throughout the day.

They're like, they're definitely, this definitely. So if I do. your podcast, I have to go to a hotel. Yeah. I bring your bathing suit. Why? Why? Because we're going to get in the pool after. What pool?

I'm not swimming at a fucking cold. I'm the hotel in the dog. It's a roof pool in the middle of October. I am not doing that. They've got a roof pool, too? Well, it's only one pool. It's a roof pool. It is cold.

I'm guessing it's going to be cold next week. And I'm guessing they're going to shut it down. They probably will. Yes. Yeah. Once they find out, for sure. Once they find out that you're using it as your own fucking little chateau.

Yeah. I don't think it's illegal to do what we're doing. What? Run a podcast out of a hotel room. It depends on what the podcast is. It's about how shitty the hotel Indigo is. It's a hotel take-down podcast. Isn't that an asylum hotel?

We don't know that. I've never heard the words. Like an insane asylum? No, no. The hello. Spanish? Oh, like a sanctuary city hotel? Yeah, one of those.

Oh, an asylum hotel. hotel. I've never heard it. Did I use the word wrong wrong word? You said it right. Asylum seekers. Yeah. I said it right. I just didn't know that it existed. During the pandemic, they converted hotels into like housing. Some of them never changed back. No. No. Some of them stayed that way. Maybe that's why the Indigo is so cheap.

Except when the UN's in town. Yeah. Then it really... So you how much was it for the night? Well, we, so before the UN it was like 300 for the two days, which was better than whatever the studio. Why do you need to do you do two days? You do two days to get all the podcasts out. Yeah, because Greg is coming in from Jersey, so we want to

do it in a block. You mean a half hour away? Uh, not the way he does it. He manages to make it I mean, I live, I live in, sure, yeah. I live an hour away, and I come to the city every day. And I do 75 podcasts. You guys somehow have to get a hotel for two days, because Greg's coming far away, which is not that far away. We need rests. What? We have to take rests. How long is the podcast. That's like 30 minutes. What? You have to bring a suitcase. If we go long. How long is the podcast?

45 to an hour, yeah. So you do an hour. How many shows you do? Well, here's the thing. I say we should do 10. But Anthony and Allison, too many. I can't. They can only do like three or three in a day. You do, yeah. One, I could do half a one. And then I think I'd fall off the cliff. So three in a day and then three, so you do six. Yeah, something like that. So you're going to get way ahead of the game. You'll have a, you'll have the year done. $50 a throw. Yeah, I think so.

That's a throw? Do you just make that up? No, a throw. Cool, Hollywood term. Is that a magician thing? It's like a prostitution term, I think. You are so devious. You know that?

You dress like you're a regular person, but you're not. You have illusions all over you. It's a masquerade. So that's good. Now you stay there at night. I stay there. But does your wife know that you're only a half hour away from? Yeah, she gets it.

I think she knows it. She knows Greg at this point, you know? Well, if we're being truthful, I don't want to get into the fucking, it's the things of it. We only have one car. So if I take the car, it's like, I get to leave her with a car so she could drive around and do her thing. So you take the train? I'll take the train, and I come in, I stay for spots. There is a reason I sleep there.

I can't remember what it was. Because last time I didn't sleep there, it was a problem. For you to go back and forth, because the second episode, because we have to get the next episode done before checkout time. So we have to get that done very early. So it's a problem for Greg to go back home, take an early bus or train. train to come back. So it's better for him to sleep there. So you sleep there, you always get it for two days.

Well, again, we've only done it twice. But, yes, it's... And one time it was $900. And one time it was $900. It was roughly $900. That is crazy that you had that number. This is why fucking Anthony's so tired of you. Yeah, that's true.

35 years. It's exhausting, but it's fun. I don't have much going on, so it works. Now, is the podcast, you just talk. There's no theme? No, there's a huge thing. What's the huge thing? We are creating a town from the ground up.

So everything that you think, hey, we should change that, we change it. Didn't we talk about this last time? I don't know what we talked about. I think so. I think we did. Yeah. And we did one, right? I think we did.

Yeah, we tried to do one. Something within society that you're like, this could be better and you'd like it changed. Right. Basically. Yeah. But Harrison wasn't here the last time. You know, if Harrison's got one ready, if he's got one to throw, throw away. A regulation that I have to change?

Yeah, I mean, like, how would you do a restaurant? Do you like tipping? How would you fix tipping? I wouldn't mind getting rid of tipping if we paid the waiters a better living wage. Sure. But how would you do it? Oh, that's the best of both worlds.

I mean, Europe manages to pull it off. Huh? You don't have to tip in Europe or Australia or anything. All right. Do you stop trash in America? Always brings up Europe. He doesn't believe 9-11 happened. I know.

He's told me this in private. Talk to him about the Holocaust. That's why I got into magic. It was an illusion. Yeah, at the end of it, Hitler was like, Tadda. And then he blew his brains out. Exactly.

Did you guys, did you guys see the, Ed Gein? I haven't seen it. Yeah, have you heard about it? Kind of. I don't, actually, you could tell me about it because I really don't know too much. I think it's wild.

Who was he? He, like, podcasted from a hotel. I know, no. Yeah, he was a podcast there. I know nothing. So speak to me like I'm a child. How, what age? Three.

Google Gaga. no it was he was a he was a serial killer i don't know it's weird to me how we have serial killers now i'm watching dexter and i'm like i'm watching a show about a guy who murders people and it's good he's the hero because he murders supposedly bad people but occasionally people who cross him yeah which is weird it's like this is not good right i don't think it's good that we're enjoying murderers somehow and the egg geans he was a he lived in Wisconsin, waiting in the middle of nowhere.

He only killed two people. That's not enough. That's not enough. He wore their skin, though. No. Dug up, yes, yes. That does ramp things up. You're right?

Yeah, true that. Not great. He was the inspiration for Psycho, the movie Psycho. He was the inspiration for Psycho. He was the inspiration for Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Wow. And he was the inspiration for Talktown.

Yeah. Yeah, we have to pay residuals to eggs. for every Patreon subscriber That's my career plan As if these specials don't take off I'm just going to start murdering people And maybe I'll get a Netflix deal out of it I always wonder, sorry

No no please go ahead It's just a thing I always wondered about When people like wear their skin Like with the first guy who did that And he put the skin on Did he look in the mirror and be like Well I don't look like anything like him This blood is flapping off

This went way different than I thought I was gonna walk around and talk to his mom They're never gonna believe me That's really funny You know when you buy an outfit And you're like I think this I picture what it's going to look like on me and then the minute you see you go

well this isn't me and I'm way too fat for this I'm way too fat well what do you do he would go and get corpses and dig them up and he would make furniture you would make a lamp you know the

lamp out of the bones or the skin out of the skin and he made an actual chair out of all corpses so if you look at the chair it's nipples and people's faces and hands I can't make a chair out of the regular things to make a chair. And I wouldn't.

You're not good at a poultry? No, I'm not going to try. Imagine that guy just put his energy into anything. He made a skin chair? He made a body chair, like all skin, yeah, from all these dead corpses. But there were only two. No, two murders. Two murders.

He actually murdered two women. I see. And he fucked them up and, you know, chopped them up and chopped the head off. One of them, he took the face off. His mother, he actually, she died. He dug up her corpse. and kept her in the house in a chair and he got a face from somebody

else and put it on her to repair. He did a lot of crazy shit. I'm okay with that. If I'm dead, make me into a fucking chair. If you got that weird thing, go ahead, man. But just put my mouth on the butt. Because I want you sit in my face, baby. That's funny. You know, you can put

on your license, I'll give my organs. That'd be fun of any, you could have another... My skin goes to IKEA. Yeah, yeah. You can have my skin for any lampshade you want. Yeah, absolutely. Would you do that? Why would you care? I don't know if I want to be on a chair.

I'm dead. I'm done. I'm done with the body. Take your skin. Have fun. Take the skin. Be comfy. I wonder where that chair is.

Where is that chair is? I don't believe they kept it. If I bought that chair for you, would you. That would be a great podcast show. Wouldn't it? I don't think I'd feel comfortable. I could get into shit. I thought you said it was great.

Yeah. I said you could do it with me. I didn't say I want to sit on a dead man's chair. It was a lot of dead women. Has it got nice titties? It had nipples on it. Like a pillow? Like the back?

No, it was like one of those big... How horny are you, Craig? I'm hard. Maximum. I wasn't a neck pillow that's just titties. Sorry. That's a great idea. Anyway, one of the girls that he brought over there,

one of the girls who brought over there, she came in, she's like, what's that? And he goes, oh, that's a nipple. And she's like, what? He goes, yeah, it's a nipple. I thought it would look. good. And there's just a head. I mean, you can see people's face. I like it's casual. Yeah. It's very

casual. The infamous chair and other items made from human remains by Ed Gaines were photographed by authorities and then properly disposed of. None of the grotesque... What a fucking dummy? What? That is so... They burned them. They got rid of them. Yeah, you got to.

Why? I mean, I would imagine it's disrespectful. Yeah, the family's probably got something to... They didn't sign a waiver. I'll sign a waiver. But they didn't sign a Just buy, bury it and buy a big plot with everybody's names on whose face and butts and tits are in it. I have a theory. You do. I have a theory that Ed Gein was a cow in the previous life.

Okay. You know, and then they turned him into a couch, and he said, I'll get you sons of bitches back. See how you like it. You know, and then he turned other people into chairs. It's a fucking brilliant theory. Your fucking dumbness is genius. It comes through every time. That's why I love you.

Your imagination is ridiculously stupid and genius at the same time. But I can't do math. Can't do math, and I can't remember the presidents. You can remember the president now. I know the president now, but four presidents ago. How far can you go back? Go back. Let's go back.

All right. Let's do it. For real? Boom, boom, boom, boom. Trump. Obama. Nope. Nope.

Nope. That's already in here. Oh, right. I really fucked that up. Slow down. All right. Let me breathe. Let me breathe.

Clearly, it's trauma. right Biden there's no Trump again yes Obama

yes then before Obama was I want to fucking say Bush yeah it's Bush yeah it was Bush

and then it was Clinton yep then it was Bush then it was Carter and that

no is where I can go no further oh Reagan Reagan Carter Reagan Carter Reagan Carter Ford Hudson Woodrow Wilson

it sounds like you were about to do like a we didn't start the fire There's a JFK in there too We can't remember the presidents

Was it Gary or Turner or Michael or Jimmy I can't remember the presidents What's sure that was a black one Definitely no Irish Was there an Irish? No O'Connor's in there Kennedy Kennedy Kennedy All right smart

Yeah, thank you very smart That's why we're a good team I'm just a little smart I seem like a genius That's pretty good Did you see this is so I mean if people don't think they fuck with Trump you're just dumb

they ever I mean look when he went to the UN they stopped the escalator they fuck his teleprompter I mean they they literally just fuck with this guy all the time so he's on the cover of Time magazine and that we've all went through this we've all played a club

or did some type of benefit and they just went and snatched the shittiest photo from like Facebook it is and you know the person laughed when they did it look at this great look give us This is the big one there.

Shit, look at this photo. They put... It's a visual, it's an audio medium. So they put a tiny crown on him. That's the M. I got to poop so bad. They, look at this. Those are devil.

They're giving him devil horns with the M? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yes. I think that's got to be in a head. Describe it to the audio listeners. Well, it's a photo for a chubby guy, which Trump is, from underneath his neck.

Not only from underneath his neck, From the side. I mean, stretch out like they're tying a balloon on. While he's turned to the right. So, yeah, so it looks, it's just very. And you can see his nose hair. You're right up his nose. And you can see his thinning hair on the...

It's the most disturbing photo. And you, you fucking observant. That's the magician in you. You're observant. You know how tricks had done. They gave him devil horns. Wow. They gave...

Sorry. You being astounded that everything is done by Harrison's magic. It's so funny. Everything. What's the difference between Harrison and exercise? What? Harrison can't make my diabetes disappear. You're insane, man.

I just made that one up. Yeah, that's good. Not the whole thing for that. Oh, right. Sorry. But anyway, this Trump picture is pretty crazy, guys. You stop knocking over my fucking why? Why?

Right. Here's the thing about this picture is, Here's the thing, if you usually get a picture, they got to zoom in. This guy's there, because you can't zoom in from below the ground. So that man got that close to Trump. Why would Trump let this happen? He didn't let it happen. He was pissed about it.

Was he? Oh, yeah. I mean, it's, it's social about it. He said, they put a crown on my head, which is the M, I guess. It's not a crown. It's devil horn. Yeah, for sure. I mean, they're so, I mean, that whoever that is hates the guy, and they all will, like,

dude, check this out. And the subtitle's nice if you're Trump His Trump Triumph? His triumph? He liked the leader Can't spell triumph without Trump He liked the article

In his statement he's like I like the article I just hate the picture I don't think it's that bad There's a lot worse pictures of him No there's not With one half his face is orange It's not He's like you know the one where he's with Epstein a bunch

That's the photo he should be concerned about You know all the photos He's hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein So funny is it But I look good in that one But I look great. I look great. That one you should use.

Right, right. I think it's going to be hard to find a good photo of him at this point. I don't. Look, it's about to turn 80. You could do, the front would be nice. Not anybody knows fat guys. You don't ever take a photo. Of them, period.

No, we can have photos of us. I'm just saying from beneath. Yeah. Isn't it the, when you're at a club and there's a camera guy, you mind if I take photos? And then you look, he's just staring up and you're like, ugh. and that's the one they put on their fucking, and they want you to elaborate on it? Yeah, it's like, fuck you.

Fuck you. There's so many better photos of him. Trump Slam's magazine photos, worst of all time. It's the fucking worst. And I can't believe they did this. I don't think they did it on purpose because I think it's artistic. You are naive.

I'm a lot of things. You don't think that was on purpose. I don't think it's, I don't think it's bad. I think it's artistic. I don't think it's as bad. Show the picture of Obama. And I'm not like a... Show the picture of Obama on Time magazine.

Watch how good look at he is. Let's see. But Obama was in much different shape. He was in age and all those things. Yeah, but you could take a bad photo from underneath. Look, that's amazing. Look at how great nine of them are. Yeah, they're pretty good.

He looks... Even that one from underneath. That time one is from underneath. That's not underneath. He has his arms crossed? Yeah, but that's from... That's a great photo. That's pretty good.

That's from the front. Yeah, it is a bad photo. It's a terrible... Bring up another president on Time magazine. Bring up all the presidents that have been on time. Woodrow Wilson. I bet you none of you can give a fact about Woodrow Wilson. Yes, I can.

Give me one fact. He actually liked a hunt. I don't know that. I don't know. Look at all these fucking awesome photos. That's Harold Wilson. Is it Wilson? That's not Wilson, that one.

Harold Wilson? Harold Wilson was a president? I've never heard of it. Go to ones we know. Don't go to ones we have to. There we go. It looks like my fucking. grandfather that's Woodrow Wilson scroll down

scroll like Kennedy do Kennedy Woodrow is the best nobody's using Woodrow as a name anymore why would my son Woodrow Woodrow Woodrow look at how great he looks look at that it's amazing I want to change topics

okay I've been really trying to I don't know what it is you don't I'll tell you what it is you can I tell you what it is yeah you don't like fat photos of people I don't but also I have a real problem with podcasts talking about anything Kennedy wouldn't like this photo either

this is when he got shot on the head still looks good still looks good he looks great he looks great I mean two seconds later he did not look good still look better than that photo of Trump still look better than that photo of Trump you hate what is what I gotta go I gotta go why

I got another podcast schedule I'll see you later I'm just gonna do it I'm just gonna do it now and I'll send this to them go ahead we'll do it we'll do a shared podcast yeah yeah it's a weird one I'm doing anyway. It's like a meat podcast or something.

What is it? Meat? Yeah, I do this podcast one of the month with this guy where we eat raw meat to see who gets sick first. How do you do it? How do you do what? Hang with him? Oh, uh, relentless. Just kind of, you, you got to pick and shoes. You can't, you can't take them all. He just went and said I do a podcast about meat. And I went, and I went, what is about, but we eat meat

until one of us throws up. Has anybody thrown up yet? Yeah, every episode of it immediately. but we got to keep doing it because we paid for the producer so we just meet every week and the meat do you have to buy new meat no the goal was to we get the meat

in the beginning what type of meat? Meat, cow meat. Is the same kind of meat every time? We bought a bunch of Pat Lafrida beat like that's top quality Yeah but we said look we got

He does it with his money We got you We got a good deal on it And then we say we're going to do this podcast Until the meat runs out It hasn't run out yet The name of the podcast Is it a meat pun?

Huh? Yeah a little bit. what is it nice to meet no it's not we didn't even see that we were like nice to hang around guys you didn't think of it that's hilarious perfect podcast yeah i guarantee he does this podcast once listen let me ask question what part of the cow do you eat every week it's different i'll tell you this i've never even thought about that people give me meat i just eat it i never asked what part is this i do what part i i'll have a steak an arm a steak there's no arms they don't have arms What is the steak?

The arm? I like the arm. How do you know what the steak is? I've never looked at my steak part of the body. You can hold it by the hoof? It's like eating a chicken. Harrison, can you take over for me for five minutes? A very big chicken wing.

Yeah, a cow leg. Yeah. Give you a cow leg going. You've seen a turkey leg. You've got turkey legs at Disney. Why not a cow leg? I bet you some people are loving this and then most are hating it. What?

You always do this. Why do you always? Spiral? Yeah, you spiral. I've thought it was funny, but reality is it's never funny and I just keep doing it. It's never funny. Okay. People love it.

What? Why are you worrying about the people? What people? I don't care about that. Potential future chairs. Yeah. People chairs. People chairs a good podcast.

Maybe we'll call it that. Steak chairs. I was just trying to get us off this picture thing. I really hated talking about the presidents. So I threw out a wild thing about a steak podcast. We were talking about photos, really. I hated it. Why?

I don't know. I want our time to be good time. Oh, Jesus. Jesus, Christ. Look at that. That's from front. You're Asian? You look very Asian.

Are you Asian? Did you ever do a 23 of me? You look very Asian. Wait, so when you drop this out, did you add the Getty images or did you, what, did Paul Archilletta actually upload this shot to Getty? You can't put, you can't do that. This is wild. You look like my son when he was three months old.

And he's Asian. So you might be. Like the Buddha. What they're doing now, we get it. We can't use that photo on the show. the club of Magubis he grabbed one of these Getty photos

his whoever it was social media person and used it to promote me on social media the guy whose photo it was and these guys were all doing this now sued him right

he had to pay 20,000 no come on that's a lot of money $20,000 it's not a bad scheme you split it with him I don't want to split nothing and he'll sue me.

No, but I'm saying, are you guys hearing me? I am hearing you. Can you get it off the screen? But you brought in $2,000, so he only lost 18. Yeah, that's true. Two, what are you crazy?

Yeah, he's going to say. The boobies. Sorry, you've never been there. He lost 19. Yeah, dude. It's poor guys in the fucking hole. I think I closed the club. So when these photographers give me

photos of me. If it's Getty. Oh, okay. If it has the watermark on it, you have to pay them to use it. You can't just use that to promote stuff My God Yeah, you can't

They'll come right after you And they make a lot of money doing it The photographer at a certain New Jersey Comedy Club that has not whatever The photographer of that comedy club Does that takes pictures of Comps And sues them when they post him Yeah

That's hilarious It's kind of fucking nefarious Yeah Hilarious Nefarious Hilarious or Nefarious That's a podcast Now does he get permission to take the photos The club gives them permission

He threatened to sue me It was fucking nuts For what? peanut butter he took a good picture of me I went on Getty I took it off Getty posted it he DMed me yelling at me saying you can't just steal my work

that's like if someone stole your joke I go oh the show is great I'm willing to buy it how much and he goes $20 and you bought it but he was going to threaten to sue me over $20 I mean well that's his loss

so he can only sue you for $20 well I paid the $20 just to get out of the uncomfortable situation what's wild to music that's my work That's my face. You know, like, how do you

write's to my face? What? You're at least have 50-50. You're gonna give you fucking skin to people for chairs. Yeah, for a problem. I'm dead. I don't really care what you do with my skin.

All right. You can use my pictures, too. I know what I'm saying? But it's crazy. That's crazy. Well, I mean, it's really not. I mean, they're taking photos. That's their art.

Sure. But you could only get up to 50 to 75%. I should still get 25% because it's my face. All the work I did on this thing? You don't just get that for free. You don't just get that for free. take a picture of me and now you're like you're going to charge me for me that's me

you pay me for me you want to cut you want to cut of all the photos taken yeah what you're saying you want to cut if they're making money I want to cut or I just want to be able to use it for free I use it for free it's me you're charging me for me that's crazy I think I want to see this in a courtroom I don't this defense I don't want to see this on my podcast I'd rather talk about Trump's face again I'm just saying it's wild. Your face.

Did you sign a release? Don't you have to sign a release to give them permission to use your face? No. No, and like you're on a red carpet, it's when something premieres and they have a red carpet and they have all photographers and you walk up it

and then they take photos of you. But if it's your show, the club gave permission, what point did you give permission for the photographer to take pictures of you during your show? Danny? I think the club gave permission

probably. So that's... Who the fuck is the club? I don't want to say it. I'm saying, who the fuck are they to think they can get... Stop getting stressed out. Hey, stop getting stressed out.

I don't like that they can give permission to somebody else to take a picture of me. Stop getting stressed. Instagram is doing this all the time. You're acting like a stress factory right now. Oh! How did I not see that? Jesus Christ, because you were yelling over me.

That's why. I was listening because I was in the red. I was so angry. I think it's all the raw meat you're consuming. Yeah. That's a big fact. You got to quit one of these podcasts. I think it's changing your body chemistry, making you very angry.

Yeah, you can eat all this meat and going on a jacuzzi. It's fucking you up. It's a big factor. Yeah, you're like, you're kind of cooking it after the fact. No, we don't cook. You're eating it raw. Then you're going in a hot tub. Yes, we're boiling it in there.

You're boiling it in there. It comes out cooked. Goes in raw comes out cooked. Yeah. If you eat raw meat, it still comes out like regular brown poop, right? It mixes in there. Okay. Yeah.

The corn that comes out is yellow. Yeah, corn doesn't. What are the foods that? Come on. Let's talk about the meat again. Let's talk about the face. What's your favorite food, Greg? It's such a hard thing to say.

One food you get, that's it for the rest of your life. That's not favorite food, though. You've got to have nutrition. No. You eat, like, if you pick pizza, you'll die. You're not going to die in this scenario. This is a magic scenario. It's magic.

If you eat pizza every day, you'll get a getty image on the, It gets threatened to get to get it down. There you go. Bloody or tarry black stool. What is that? If you keep eating raw meat. You got to be careful for coffee ground. That's how you know.

If you're a coffee ground stool, that's when you're in trouble. That means you've got internal bleeding. Because it's black because it's been staying in there. Red blood's always okay. Red means it's fresh. Dark means you got brown. I think that, no.

I think if fresh blood's coming out, you're in trouble too. Yeah, if you're, if it's shooting out of your ass? If it's shooting out of your ass, there's something else. You don't have it coming out slowly, but... Red blood is usually a hemorrhoids or something.

Azel's got you. Harrison's shooting. Yeah, dark. Dark's tool means it's been sitting in there, and it means you've got a problem. What's your favorite? What is the food? That's it. Well, I don't know this is my favorite, but I can eat it. I do eat it every day as my favorite is I can do it. Rice. Not rice. Sorry, I said that because you have an Asian wife.

We don't even eat rice in my fucking... You don't? What? Noodles. We eat noodles, sure. More than most people, probably. But that's not what we're doing. I do love a good pet. Patsi-U. My wife makes a killer one. I like a Patsi-U. Is that with the pork?

It's with whatever. You do with every one? Yeah. Okay. Have you ever been to a Thai restaurant? Yeah. Patsi-U is like ground up. Right? Round-up meat. Do you know why there's so many Thai restaurants? The Thai government funded Thai restaurants in America as a way to increase the goodwill and positive image of Thailand. That's bullshit. It's true.

I believe you. I'm just kidding. I have the reason to disagree. fair enough so every Thai restaurant is government funded it was at the beginning all the silly pun names do they decide on those

or that's up to the restaurant itself I think you get your own creative license okay yeah the government's like you're going to do that tie me to a pole

and eat my noodles yeah around a boardroom they have all kinds So what is it? I would probably go with a Greg and cheese, which is... Gregg and cheese? Yeah, the Greg and cheese. What?

It's one of my favorite. I'm a master of egg and cheese sandwiches. What the fuck are you talking about? It's an egg and cheese that he's branded a Greg and cheese. Yeah. It's a Greg and cheese? Why is it a Greg? Why are you looking at me like that?

Because I love you. I know. You're going to look. I was just disgust. I haven't seen that since I tried to get my son out of the crib this morning. I'm like, why are you not, Mama? You piece of shit. Anyway, you're spiraling.

I don't, I'm not looking at a disgust. I'm looking at you with concern. The Gregon cheese is, now people aren't going to do a backflip for this. They're going to go, that's not that great. But I'm going to go, I love it, so I don't care. You get a whole wheat piece of bread or a, I like a more of a grainy, like a seeded type bread, you know, a thick one, right?

Multi-grained. Multi-grain. Give you a multi-grain. I love that. Then you do vegetable cream cheese, and then an over-easy egg, and you let it drip down, And I, you make, because you can make four, because my toaster has four. I know how toast is.

Yeah, there's four slots. I know the, I know the options. I want to know the ingredients. That's four egg sandwiches. I understand. Like that. Okay. So it's, it's, it's very, it's open-faced.

Wait, you only get four pieces of toast. Yeah. Isn't it two pieces of toast per sandwich? Open-faced. Ah. So you get four eggs, four slices, four, and cream cheese, you don't, see, the whole thing is it's efficient, because you don't got to wait for it to melt.

You just spread it on. But do you fold it? Mm. You put it at the end, Sometimes. You eat it straight? Yeah, sometimes I like that. But an egg isn't big enough to fit the whole piece of toast.

You need like two eggs on one toast. No, you could do one, but I like two. I'll throw as many on there as I can. Does the toast, can it handle the weight of all that? Depends on the toast. And sometimes it doesn't. You're making four, though. Does that mean your whole family enjoys this?

Are you eating four? I eat four, and they eat shirio. They just watch them eat them. You make eggs and toast for your... You make a Greg sandwich with them. Greg and cheese, and you don't give any... anybody? I try, but then they go, milk and cheerios in a bowl, milk in a cup

because I'd like to pour it in. I go, you want fucking Cheerios? I'm making Greg and cheese is for everybody. And that's why I have to eat four, because they turn them away and I've got to give Cheerios. Nobody likes it. I've never met another person who likes a Greg and cheese. And, okay. And that's your meal forever. So why do you make four? Just make two. I like four.

You get four sandwiches. How much exciting is that? Because it sounds like you made the four, then people say, I don't want it, but you not at this point know that you're the only one that want it. Yeah, man. I would say for Greg, he probably makes four to be like, what if people come over? Greg is always like, maybe someone will come over and will be best friends. No one ever does. Do you know people in Montclair?

So check this out. I moved in two days ago. Downstairs, guy goes, hey, what's up? I'm Nathan. I live downstairs. Hey, what's up? And we're talking. And he goes, I know you are.

And I was like, what? He's like, open, he does open mic comedy and sketch. He's taking all the UCB classes. So I'm taking him under my wing. I've been teaching little comedy tips here and there It's been two days This will end badly Yep

Guarantee He's gonna ask to open for you And how do you say no? I can't He just has to And he lives below me There's nothing I can do This will end with Greg moving in six months

Yeah, I've seen this before Great guy But you've met him two days How did you take him? I love bomb people pretty quick You love bombed him I get in I invited him

We've already been drunk I've been there for, honestly, I've been there for four or five days. We've been drunk together twice. And I only drink usually once every six months. In his place are yours? He's come up, yeah, in my place. He comes in my, my, and my upstairs name. Have you offered him a Greg and Cheese?

I offered him pizza yesterday, for Pizza Monday. But no Greg and Cheese. But no Greg and Cheese. He's not there in the morning. So you're not close enough. Oh, this is the only morning. You can't do it. Oh, I eat it all day. But I, you know, I didn't be like, hey, man, you want me to whip you up a Greg and cheese.

I don't do that. See, he's not family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you? I really like, my grandma used to make these. They're southern corn fritters. Did you ever have those? Yeah.

Yeah, I love those. So that would be your food for life. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying it's nutritious or anything like that. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that. Yeah. You'd eat that for the rest of your life if only one thing. Yeah.

I think we'd eat one thing. Like, sushi has protein. It's got carbs. It's got all the things. It's delicious. What a fucking asshole. It's delicious. You ruined the whole bit.

Spoken like a year of people. Mine, a Greg and cheese. Harrison cheese. I would say rice. Just rice? Plain rice? You wouldn't want a fried rice or? No.

I think the conspiracy is that brown rice is old white rice. Can I believe it? Okay, I mean, I'm listening. It's just, I think they just leave it out. No, it's the rice with the husk on it. They just didn't take the husk off it. It's actually worse for you than regular. I think brown rice is old white rice.

I think kale is old lettuce. Cale is not. It's disgusting. And I think, I think almond milk is cow jiz. No, what? Yeah, it's a nut milk. You don't get you in trouble if when you go to get coffee and you go, they go, what kind of milk? You go, titty milk?

They always go, youthful. They always say you have to be right now. This is why you had to move four days ago. Yeah. He ran out of coffee shop. They go, we have titty milk, but it's a $400 up charge. They have breast milk ice cream. They were sending that around.

That's okay, but I can't ask for titty milk, get the job of love. It's the word titty. It's like you asked for it, fresh off the tap. Yeah, you're not using the proper word. Right, breast milk. You're like, I want it draft. You had it, the breast milk ice cream? No.

I've had breast milk, though. I've had breast milk. It's not that great. It tastes like cereal milk. It's sweet. Really? Yeah. It's very sweet.

And it has colostrum in it, which is like brain, super brain food. A lot of weightlifters will drink colostrum. Oh, right. Yeah. Did you feel the difference? Your brain, did brain stuff happen? I had a sip. Can I tell you has had no colostrum for years?

What's that? That was it. Were you going to say about weightlifters? They always try to pull some old bullshit. Yeah, are you right about it? You know? They're always like, I drink breast milk. They're like, I ain't doing nothing.

Oh, I drink the fucking fat of a fucking fat woman. No, don't do that. It doesn't do anything for you, brother. Yeah, it can't be the secret. It was a, it was, you know, I jumped a shark on the second one. Yeah, there you go, potential benefits. Immune support, gut health. Yep.

Codivascular health, nutritional value, anti-inflammatory. I mean, all this stuff is magic food. People mostly, people get sick from swelling and, in, uh... Do they have, if they do do a study, do they have to tell the people that they're drinking inflammatory breast milk? You have to tell anybody anything if you want to. He was like, you got to drink this? Do you just say drink this, brother?

I'll watch that happen. Inflammatory. Well, what is the, what is it that? Inflaming of the body. Yeah, that's it. That one. You ever get a little breast? Is that Asian?

I'm so happy that I'm on a podcast where people are as dumb as me. Hey, well, I'm not dumb, I'm just left. I don't know. I'm left of dumb. What do you mean you're left of them? I can't explain it. You should. You should try.

Like a weirdo or something, you know? You're not a weirdo. I don't know what the word is. That's why I said left. You're not a weirdo. I don't know. The raw meat thing is totally normal. Well, I was going to put breast milk in my soda stream.

No one's tried that yet. Wow, that is cool. Get a little seltzer one going. Do you think a baby would like it? Do you think they like the bubbles? Baby can't have bubbles and they'll die. It's great. Well, then you definitely, that's a big risk.

This was never for the babies. I can't have bubbles either because I have a baby's stomach. That's a fact. Oh, yeah. They're not supposed to give me. I can't have that. I like if somebody offered you sparkling breast milk. The problem, your problem is the.

sparkly yeah that's the part it's like i would love to have this it's just the bubble it's so fancy it's so repulsive yeah yeah and this is a very controversial question do you mind i know you i don't mind i mind i might i'm gonna go away you don't like controversial questions all right go ahead i like it i think you didn't want to talk about trump because it was trump it was yeah i don't like i don't really like i understand let's not let's move on politics i want to be out of it this is a little i'm going to bring this up and i don't want you to get uncomfortable are you okay yeah you sure i don't know we're going to ask Hold hands during it.

Maybe that would be better. I don't think. It's not a bad idea. I'm just being lazy. Look, we can cut this out if you want. We can cut this out. Ask. We can cut it out if it's too controversial

and it causes too much of a buzz around people. I don't want people to get in trouble. You got a special out. That's right. It's coming out Thursday. Plug that now before we talk about this. It's called This is Who I am. It's going to be on my YouTube channel,

YouTube.com slash Harrison Greenbaum. And is an hour? It's an hour. And where did you film it? At the comedy cellar. And what's it about? My first full hour. What's it about?

From the personal to the political. It's all the... You do political. There's some political in there. Oh, no shit. All right. Well, this is, this is, then this is okay with you. I guess.

I don't... The build on this is insane. I'm hard. I'm gonna say this. I hope you all have... I hope you all chime in on this because I think you should because it's important.

And we're all men, right? What do you do? It's the magician. It's, yeah. It rounds up. I... I... My duolingo, I got to do it.

I don't... He's studying the language of suspense. I just don't think... I just don't think... I'm seriously, I don't think a Pringle is a chip. I agree. I agree. Because it's not made the same way.

It's like they come, don't they like grind it and mold it? It's not a chip. A chip. It's a crisp. Are you British bastard? No, a crisp is a fry. A chip is a fry and a crisp is a chip. And a biscuit is a cookie.

Yeah, here's a thing. Fuck those. And a woman is a man. Yeah, right. Sure. Is this all leading to something about transit? I, if a wringle is in a chip, then. A potato chip is made with a potato.

You cut a potato, you can add whatever the fuck you want to it, but you take a slice of potato and you're fried. There you go. A pringle is flour, potato flour, all these other things, and they've formed this goop, and then they press it into a thing that looks like a chip, crunches like a chip somewhat tastes like a chip

kind of it is not a potato chip and I I've had fights with people that say it's a chip it's not it's not a chip it's not by that rule every chip's chicken nugget is not a chicken nugget it is not I would agree yeah man it's a chicken whatever it's a chicken

it's what who gives a shit you have no political view whatsoever you have no fucking value value, who knew Greg was Switzerland. Oh, yeah. He really is a piece of shit that has no opinion. So, whatever you want to do. You have no opinion. I can't tell you how to live your life. You want to go fight a guy

and a quick check over it being in the wrong aisle. You fight that guy. I'm going to be in the car. Where do you put it? Where do you put it in the supermarket? Where? Next to the chip. Frozen section, of course. You can put it. But what's, there's also crackers in the chip aisle. Do you think it's a potato cracker? I think it's a potato cracker. I think it's out that aisle. I'm sorry. What did you say?

Oh, y'all bump like a cracker's out of hell That's probably racist I think it's so bad that it's such a bad act You don't know what race it was So that's why I think I'm okay I think it was crazy is it when you do All the races When you do your urban album

It has to be called Greg and Cheese Yeah, well it's gonna be called a dozen Greggs And it's a milk It's an egg carton with my head of my faces Round Greg I'm sorry It's offensive because it's nothing Yeah exactly

It can't be offensive if it's no better. Now it's something. Now we're in trouble. I will say that's a genius move of doing a voice like that. Did you get close enough to what it could be? That then it puts the listener on the hook for being racist. You're not racist. You're just a bit.

What is that? We don't know. That was everybody. I think it was every race. I love it. When they try to cancel me for doing Asian accent and I just pick up my Asian kid by his head And I shake him, I go, look at that fucking thing. Look at that fucking thing.

I love them more than I love you. And you drop them into a bowl of noodles. Anyway, what we talking about crackers in the aisle? I just don't think it's a fucking chip. They did it so you agree with you. You agree with me. I don't care enough. Answer the question.

Care. I don't, I love a prequel. Answer the fucking question, Greg. Is it a chip or is it a potato cracker? Let me take a stance. It's a fucking... It's a I like to

What if you went overboard? What if you were so passionate about it? Yeah, that's a fucking potato chip, you piece of shit? You think it's a chip? It's a fucking chip, man. It's not a fucking chip. Dude, is it potato something?

It's a potato something. If it's potato something, it's a chip. Also, they don't call it a potato chip. They call it a chip. There's just a chip. You chip your tooth, that's a chip. Huh? Chip beef?

Fuck's that. Now you go. Now you go. Now you go. Big, big, big, big. Oh. Big. I don't think it's even a,

fucking potato. No. It should even be in the vegetable. It should be in the meat aisle. More. Yes. Oh, hell. Yeah, Anthony.

You know what? And I can't stop. They say you can't. I stop all the time because it's terrible. You don't like them. They're fine, but I prefer a real potato chip. I like to take 40. Because I'm a real man.

And when I say that, I sound very convincing. Yeah, he's a real man. I am a real man. A real man eating real potato chips. Yeah, I mean, uh. Did you say you like to take 40 pringles? I take as many in my mouth. I dip my potato chips in breast milk.

That's how... That's man's stuff. Man stuff. That's man stuff. I take all the chips out. I put a gun in there. And I put it to my head and I think about sports

and that's man stuff. You got, I beat my wife with a bell bottle of Pringles. That's man stuff. What'd she do wrong? You know what she did? The water was too cold for my shower. I said, run me a bath.

Too cold. Punch in the face. You dirty. Fucking. man stuff man stuff I like this I took my fist and stuck it in the Pringle can and punched her right in the tit

and then milk came out and I drank it and I said it's mine bitch man man stuff that's man stuff go ahead you do it oh it's not going to sound it's not going to be convincing I take this

it sounds like a female coyote I can't repeat after me Repeat after me Repeat after me I masturbate to women of questionable age Man stuff That's criminal stuff That's criminal stuff

When one of the towers fell I was on my porch celebrating That's man stuff It was questionable but we knew the answer above Man stuff But it was kind of questionable I'm still researching whether the Holocaust happened because that's

see man stuff weird old little people deserve to be jerked off to too too is what I'm trying to say man stuff that's true that's true man should jerk off little people man should shirk off man stuff man stuff man stuff now go you got that one go

Leparons are real man's stuff no the guy jerking off oh yeah I grew a beard the more men you jerk off the more manly you are Yeah, you got it Man stuff

The more guys you suck off And rub their cum in your skin Amen That's man stuff if I've ever seen Man stuff Make that into it fucking chair I jerked off to a Honda Prius

Not really I wasn't very much No Debatable man's Debatable man's A man council for that I sat on my F-150 shifter

Just think I was bored in traffic I pump my wife full of creatine. Man, son. That's the best thing we ever did ever. That is good. Fun. I like that.

Should I play you guys a song? Yeah. Sure. Play us out. Play us out. We're very close. Really? What?

Whoa, whoa. Oh, whoa. There's instruments? Stop, stop. I always got something on me. What the fuck is this? Holy shit. What do you have?

This is my... I didn't know we could being props. I had it on me, and I just thought about it. I learned one song. We can't bring your trunk up those. Stairs. Oh, I got props, baby. I got handcuffs and ropes.

I got real man stuff. It's all for magic, which is man stuff. I have another man who lives with me, but we're not gay. We have tigers. Man stuff. Great. What's the song, man? Oh, no, I was thinking about that.

What do you have in your hand from? Explain to people. What is that? You just brought out a fucking 1992 instrument. What did you take off the set of severance? Wow. What is it? Nice.

That's a good one, dog. Thanks, dude. Yeah, yeah. This is my David Bowie stylophone. It's a stylofo. What was the connection to David Bowie? In the space odyssey, he used a stylofoam. And so they get more of these.

How did you get that? I purchased it. Where? Man stuff. Amazon, I'm really into like sounds lately. Okay. Like sound machines. Yeah.

You know, I'm really getting into sounds, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I only know one song, though. Okay. So are we going to get sued for it? I don't know. No, we can beep it. Here we go.

Let's see if I can do it. As long as we don't get any photos, doesn't take a picture out, it will be fine. You guys ready? Yeah. This is, I got one song. Okay. Wait.

Wait. Man stuff. Greg, and stuff. I'm mad and stuff. Greg, aren't you in a band? I am a band. Cool answer, Greg. I got a song, ready?

Yeah, and you heard it. Ready? Man, stout. Man. What song? What song did you play? You never heard that? MGMT, kids.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, done. I'll do it real fast this time, because I really do it again. There we go. Wait, I got nervous. You were worried that they were going to come after us for this friendship? Why would you get nervous? I don't think they have a legal ground to stand on. It's not close enough to that song for them to sue us.

That's close. You have more, you get in more trouble for that accent you did. Which accent? The hoodier head are going down to get a man. Who am a kaka? Wait, that was too Asian. It's hard to do an accent that doesn't exist. Too many...

Too many... It slides into something. It always slides. I think if you name like a food or something of something else, do you know what I mean? If you're going to do... Then people can't get you on that.

Say again. Do you know what I mean? If you're like, oh, there are so many great spaghetti sauces at this restaurant. That's definitely... No, that's fucking Japanese. You're doing a Japanese...

You're a Japanese guy working at an Italian restaurant. A bunch of keen ears here. Wow, I didn't know how much of the audiophiles. Let me try it right here, ready? I know how you're going to have wound up in a bad hair. And I'm going to get down and get a mounteholder today. You didn't say any words, though, but that was good, not an accent. That was not an accent.

It was just like a Louisiana guy. It sounds like a guy in New Orleans, we can't understand him. I was this one. I love sticky dick. Now we're just doing impressions. The people on the panel? I don't know we could do impressions. of people who were sitting across from

this is a fun game do a not an accent do not an accent okay oh yeah do many clock out nope no no no next I go you I have spent too long at the clock factory

to remember what my name is ooh I don't know time anymore there's too many clocks I think it's a fully flcked out character that's one point for Anthony that was not an accent who is the clock factory bitch that's what I want to buy a watch

whoa that's very close close to I want to buy a watch from this door no that's Indian dude I was I was honestly thinking I was trying to think of like finish

no come on do it again try it go store you can't what I just rolled an arm for shit you're a Spanish Indian just to throw it out yeah store I like you my tiki my tiki margarita ready i'll try again i want to get down home your face got to say words okay

i shouldn't have said that oh no i'm not a guy who says that what you just did it no but you're doing mentally handicapped person no why you say that's worse i think it was more nuanced in that was it again bobby i don't want to go to my health and get my help i want to get you some of your chicken because i allowed to chicken with no skin on that's just a very specific brain damage. Absolutely. Like a small slice of the brain got injured in an accident. All right, let me try.

Let me give a full brain. You go to my house and I'm taking it to that firefly character for Princess and the Frog. Good. That's good. It was pretty good. So big day is my thing that when I go to home, I say, I'm not going to give it to me. No, that's the one of the way. It feels specific.

That feels like an accent. Do you know, no. Do you know who you have? You always do. Asian. Sorry, mentally handicapped Asian. It feels like there's a Kermit. It feels like there's a Kermit thrown in there. Venturing in a ray. I know. I always flies in a ray.

There's a lot to be on the podcast. That's pretty good. That's good. What was that? I don't know. Yeah. Let's do it again. Do it again. It's great to be on the podcast. It's Dracula. That's a dumb Dracula. Yeah. It's a really dumb Dracula. There it is. That's a whistle boy. You're tricking to be to go very high-pitched. Somebody who has a harmonica stuck in their throat.

I'll take two jelly beans. Two jelly beans. Somebody works at a candy factory. That's Willie in the Milwaukee. Willie Wonka. It's Charlie's aunt. That was one of those old twatts in the bed. What?

What are you being? Don't be young. I'm trying. Don't be of age. Don't be high. I like. I think my trick is I'm going to, you think of an animal, right? Yeah.

Sleepy tiger. Right, that's how you get the accent. Okay, sleepy tiger go. Hello, though, what I'm doing with. It's just a dumb tiger. Yeah, dumb tiger. He's a dumb tiger. I don't know what I'm doing.

I like to climb tree. I like to lick my pup. I like to lick up. I like to lick things. Sometimes I lick the queen. Sometimes I lick my foot. Sometimes I like to. That's the stapler guy from office space.

Nolton? Yeah, dude. I like my sleeper. I like my sleepburn. I like my sleepburn. I think. I think. I think.

I think. I think DeVito wins. Yeah, DeVito wins. You get second place. It was hard to play. I think he wins. And then Harrison is third place. Harrison.

Harrison. Named after the town in New Jersey. Weird. Is it really? It means son of Harris. Classic path station stop. Do you... What?

Do you have a child? I do not. Are you going to have kids? I think so. With a woman. That's usually how it happened. Are you going to have a kid with you wife? Do it with a man.

Get in the paper. Are you going to force a kid to have kids to have kids to have kids to have kids? no magic. Are you going to put that in his life? If the kid shows interest in magic, I will... Can you play a song while I talked to him about this? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Establish a mood.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Do you... You're going to introduce magic into his life? I... Well, he's going to be exposed to it just because his dad does it. Right. So I think either he's going to love it.

I want to take after his dad or he's going to hate it. What if he doesn't like it? The one thing would be weird is if he... We're going to lose so many followers. Can we play Nightcream instead? Yeah, go ahead. Stop. Play Night cream.

This is, what is this? Tell them what this is. Night cream's Greg Stone's band. Why'd you do? This is so old that I'm embarrassed of it now. I love that. We've moved on to 50 different levels of life. You have a new song?

I have a whole new album we're about to put out. Do you have any songs we can listen to? I mean, they're not recorded yet. We didn't record the album yet. You just said we have an album about to come out. Well, we're going to record. We're coming out, meaning I got to come out and record it. Do you have any songs?

Like on me? Yeah. Oh, you can say that if you haven't even record. another special on the way. I don't know what you could say. I have four specials on the way by that metric. I actually have two movies in a TV show coming out. We haven't shot it yet, though.

Yeah, nobody's bought it. Yeah, we're thinking about it. Yeah, and I have 50 Bitcoin. Full illusion show. Yeah, it's a full illusion show. You love that. I would love to do, I, I've only been in one, like, big illusion in my life. We know.

It doesn't your wife. Fair. I walked right the fuck into that one. What's the big illusion you've been? I toured with the illusionist. The whole cast appeared at the beginning of the show. Who are the illusionists? It's a magic tour where you have like seven magicians or five, depending on.

How long are you married? Two and a half years. Yeah, wait until you get to five. I'm going to be putting on an illusion. Oh, my God. So sad. Man stuff. How do you?

You wake up. This sounds like man. Is that why you're gray? You look It's a lot You roll over And you look at a woman And you don't see what you

You don't see What do you think she's looking at? She looks back at you And she screams So she rolls over And he's playing that fucking thing Is it can you put it away? If my

If I ever got one of those My wife would kick me in the nuts My wife has mono What's this sound disease? I don't know That's this? No Tonight?

Shit, no It's a disease that Mononuculosis Yeah Yeah, that's it. It's a disease. The kissing disease. No.

It's a disease that like when people even chew or breathe. Oh, Todd Barry's got that. Yeah, Monof. What is it, Danny? Sammy Obit, I think, talked about that too. Starts with an M. Yeah, there it is right there. What's it called?

Mono sound disease? Misophoria. Misophoria. There it is. So I will look at my wife at dinner sometimes and she's staring at me like trying to put the knife down. Like trying to like your hand shaking. she wants to kill me just because I'm chewing loud.

Well, is she with headphones up? Huh? She's shitty with headphones. This is a great idea. Why is the number one search result for what you look for? Mono is a disease which will cause a monorail to grow out of your hoo-ha. That's the number one. I'm sorry. Excuse me.

That's what my wife has. She doesn't have the sound thing. That's literally the number one search result is mono is when a monorail grows out of your, and I quote, hoo-ha. A monorail, a train? I can't read what you guys are reading. All right there. It was red.

Yeah, my eyes are bad. What? It turns out if you take Welbutrin to make your eyes go a little bit better. Well, it's Welbrutrin. From eggs? Maybe the eggs. No. That's Albutrin.

Well, Butren. Well, Boutrean. I think this is contagious. Al Boutrean keeps you from fucking. Whatever he has is contagious. You know, from thinking about your impending death, 24 hours a day.

Oh, it's a drug. Yeah, I'm on Welbudron. It's like a depression drug? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes you not see so good, I think. Because I can't read all of a sudden in the dark. No, how would that make you say? how old are you? Forty-four?

Yeah. You know what they call reading glasses in England? What? Forty-fours. Really? Yeah. That's not true. That's true. I can never read you. Because you can't see it. Yeah, exactly. All right, listen, guys, we're going to wrap this up.

I mean... How much do we get paid for this? You get... You get... You get paid in Pringles. Do you know how much... He has to pay a $900 hotel hotel. I am a little upset.

I thought we were setting a precedent that every time I come, you give me a present. Do you got a present last time? I gave you a... He gave me, like, $300 a microphone. I gave you... What? Listen.

And then you can't follow up with that. His microphones were shitty. He needed microphones for his podcast, and he called me up, and he's like, blah, blah, blah. And I had a pair on me that was extra. And I was like, hit. You know what? These are the ones to get.

Get these. That's very nice. And I started crying right on his butt. But I was expecting more microphones today. I want to fucking jump across what a fucking in my life

have I ever in my life given somebody a gift from the heart not it wasn't a fucking shitty it was like oh my God gift yeah that's a very nice gift I've seen him

it's great gift it's like that and then skin chair Christmas is one time next year you expect Christmas again right no not if I'm not related to you

you're setting a precedent no there's no precedent my son calls you uncle Uncle rich Because we know of how much money How rich you are I am not rich

You're rich in money And you're rich in joy I am not rich You think I'm rich I don't know you don't go rich You can't You can be rich I gave them to you

Because I had an extra pair Because I fucked up The company had sent me a pair Here we go Here's why I didn't get a present And what do you want? A present What was something

man thanks I'll take it I love it That's your new present No I'm gonna take that No one's gonna be mad Take it and I want you to pray Every morning All right

Mm-hmm There's something Dude I'm getting nervous Why Oh yeah no I'm having a good time But there's everything else to say Well there's somebody else to be funny for a minute You know what fuck

Davido Man Stop Divana Fuck you, dude. I don't like you just sit in the pocket and let this happen. You can help us. He's your friend, you son of a bitch.

It's your best friend. Right? Yeah, but it's too fun to watch. I read a comment because I was like, let me, I was like, I don't know why I did this by Googled. I was in Stavvy's World Reddit because it just comes on my Reddit. And I take my name and see if something comes up. One thing came up. It said, Greg Stone is unhinged.

That's actually good. That's good. That should be the name. me your album. Yeah. What about a dozen Greggs? Why a dozen greggs? I'd have a dozen eggs.

Because I'm going to do a dozen jokes. For the course of an hour? It's 12 minutes. Oh, okay. A dozen Greg. You're going to have a 12 minute special? Who cares? No one cares.

No one's watching it anyway. No, it's an hour special. It's 12 minutes of jokes and then 45 minutes, whatever the fuck that is. Oh, my God. That would be mind-boggling. Oh, what if he was a hit in Japan? You had to travel with your fucking... Oh, you could space it out.

You don't like the guitar comics. They do like one joke over the course of five minutes. That 12 minutes could be an hour. Do that right now. Try it. What? Do a joke with that underneath it. So my mom died the other day.

My, I was talking to my father and he's like, I never even loved you. I said, dad, you've always heard. me it hurt me on the inside here we go I'm getting oh I'm getting a divorce Are you getting a divorce?

What? Yeah What the fuck? Yeah, it's crazy. Why? Because I thought I couldn't think of anything else to say So I just said that You know what, fuck you, Greg I think he's living at the hotel

Please check out Harrison Green Harrison Creambom's new special This is who I am Yeah on YouTube YouTube.com Harrison Creambound Do you come out at the end of the No

That'd be funny No So this is who I am It's shot right here At the comedy seller He's hilarious Very funny It's on YouTube

Your YouTube page is YouTube.com slash Harrison Greenbaum Go check out a special It's available right now comment, like, and subscribe on it, and share it, and clip it out. Put it out there. They can do that, right?

It's part of the word. Share it, like it. Likes and comments, and shares do a lot for the algorithm. Yeah, and take it. Put it on your page. Yeah, put some music underneath. Yeah, put some of that music under it. And just do his bits in another accent that you can't describe.

And, of course, Anthony DeVito, welcome to Talktown, along with his partner, Greg Stone, uh who i mean just three funny hilarious guys and uh check out uh check out of course check out their websites what is who's is this danny talk to us this is davido's de vito you put up the beauty bar as a shit you just put it up 10 minute be notified when he'll be there you never know who's out there you got put that butt seek out my comedy on a sunday night at a hair salon what is it You put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, you put a, and they're notoriously a horrible show. That's not your, my fucking website. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I don't know who's in town. It looks blank. How'd you do that? You're like, why, how'd you do that? Hey, dude, why are you putting a spot up there? I don't, I mean, as I'm hearing you say it, I don't know. It seemed like a good idea.

You got two E's up there. Oh, yeah, man. Because, you know, my fans come into town. And they don't. And they want to catch a good six minutes. There you go. You probably won't show up to. It's probably going to get canceled.

Very true. But, you know. You never know. All right. And what do you got, Mr. Harris and Harambaum, Greenbaum? Son of Harris. I got the special coming out. My brain just shut down.

I'm going to be at the Magic Castle November 3rd tonight. What are you doing there? Magic. Oh, shit. I just wonder hear you say. At the castle. Magic. Magic.

You have so much energy. It's a Red Bull. I love it. I love it. You're going to be doing your magic. That's what's great about you. You can go see him do magic, and it's no joke. Like, he's...

It's not jokes. It's the magic. There are jokes. I know, that was a... I didn't even do that. I mean, one of the best magicians out there right now. Thank you. I appreciate that.

I just said it. I like that. I wrote a book for magicians. You did. Called You Are All Terrible. Can you do a trick right now? Right now? Right now.

Of course he can. Oh, we. We can end the show on a trick. But then I don't get to do my plugs? All right. Do you plugs? That was the trick. The trick was that we...

Oh, look at that head, Scott. That's great. You're really thinking. Did they tell you to think? No, they couldn't get me to think if they tried. Upcoming shows. Wait, why is it just his mouth? I don't know.

Danny, is that? You scroll up? I did my own way. Where's the... Oh, it scales when you scale it. Upcoming shows. Let's look. Okay, where are they, Danny?

Bring up the shows. That's it. I don't know how to update this. What? Oh, no. And I'm too tired to figure it out He just says more dates are added regularly But there are no dates

There's no dates I don't know how to I don't know how to do this See me live I have a reoccurring show At the Grove 34 every third That's complicated And I'd be honest I don't have that

You don't have that show? No this is very old This is a lie I don't know how to do this How do you people do it You hire someone? I don't have money to do that You got a good bio?

No I had a guy who was like I'll do it for you And I love him But then he just stopped Oh we should see the bio I bet it's great it's not good what does it say read it's often said that tragedy plus time equals comedy i didn't write it just as he's sleepy said that enthusiasm minus caution equals comedian gregg stone yeah i didn't

do this who wrote this a i i don't know it's a man did it i'll say this i've seen i'm can i be completely honest with you people always put this on when they when i do like a show like a like a weekend they put this bio and i go where the fuck are they getting this well it's often He said that tragedy plus time equals comedy. Enthusiasm minus caution equals Greg. Why are you making people do math? I don't know how to change the website. Bowing to the increasing demand that he be heard and not seen.

What? Greg has also been featured on the radio. I've been featured on the radio. On the radio? There's a demand that you be heard and not seen? I don't know what you're saying. He's reading your bio. I don't know who wrote that.

That's your bio. This was done as a favor to me. But he shouldn't have wrote something like this. I couldn't argue with him. It does say ask him politely about the time he drunkenly jumped on stage with Michael Bolton. And people say this all the time and I get so mad because I don't want to just do a bit. And this is a problem. I swear to God, I'm usually selling T-shirts and there a show.

And so it goes, hey, tell me about Michael Bolton. I go, I'm not doing a bit. And I don't know how to take it down. Is it on like Squarespace or Wix? Can somebody help him? Wait, he's just got to log in. Can somebody help him? Just go on Wix and then delete it.

Don't say Wix because now he's going to go down to Wix hole. So I'll tell you what happened. Someone's going to say, yeah, I'm going to help you, and then I'll be too shy to give them proper notes, and then we go through this thing again. I got to, don't do that. I mean, if I was your dad, I'd say, don't do that. Do you think the website is the reason while I'm failing?

No. It's not helping. It's not helping. I'm doing all right. Because all your fans are asking about Michael Bolton, and you're being angry and yelling at them. I know, because this website keeps telling them asking about it. I hate it.

It says someone. wrote this about me. Yeah. It does? That's really funny. That's hilarious. I do like that. I do like that.

That saves it all. That does help. All right. Check out Greg Stone. And we don't know where he is. Or he's going to be. Are he's going to be a Poughkeepsie? When?

Either Friday or Saturday. I can't. I can't. You want them to guess. This comes out Sunday. One of the days. This comes out Sunday. Ah, Mohegan's son the Halloween weekend.

Ooh. You mean the 31st. Yes, I'll be there for Halloween. and I book that without realizing that my kids probably want to do Halloween. Bring them to Mojikids' song. It's a blast. That will be fun.

They got a whole kid's thing there. In the casino? Buddy, underneath the casino, there's a... Under the stairs. You can drop your kids off. It's an arcade. And they'll watch him. They'll watch them.

They have counseled, all these people there. They play with other kids, and you can go and have dinner with your wife and do all kinds of stuff. And there's no momos? Because I don't even no Momo getting in my kid. What's a Mo Mo Mo? What a Mo Mo is?

What's a mo-mo? A mo-mo. You know, they like the mo your kid. What kind of accents does the Mo-mo have? You know, your friend Lester. M-M-M-M-M-O. Yeah, it's a way, more fun way to say it. You got a fucking Mo-Momo over here.

All right, no, there's no Uncle Fester's at there. I don't, I'm not sure of it, but I'm pretty sure there's not. Okay. I don't want the podcast thing, and I won't let it in. We're going to... I'll bring us in an overtime with Bill Maher. We're going to Patreon. Wow, Gras.

Slash, Robert Kelly. If you want it, we have questions for. all these guys and where you get it first you get it live it's all right there you get an extra episode every week so go over there you want to support this show if you think it's cool enough to support go there if not just hit the subscribe button and follow us on everything

please do a magic trick oh man it's classic batter he's got this thing already he's got I'm like shit what can I do that would be awesome awesome on the thing do I have my bag? Because you do you always have your bag

Do I have my back? He's already running us for fools. No, he's got a misdirect. It is. We're already directed. Play some magic music. Watch his hands. Whatever you want.

Okay. Keep playing on the song. That's the only as long I know. Okay. Oh, he said that, like, he's a magician. I do have one. No shit. Like Anchorman with the jazz flute?

What? This thing has been here the whole time? Don't let him fucking distract you. Keep your eyes on him. Where's you got the camera, right? You got the camera on him? Those are trick cards. They're edible or something.

Here, check them. Okay. We'll only know. That was the misdirect. That was the misdirect. I was the misdirect. I let me say this. He's making me check them.

Then I know there's nothing going to happen here. Greg, you're going to do it. All right. I check them. Yeah, they're wrong. That can't be how you check it. They're all five. You check three.

It's all fives. It's going. Greg. What? Focus. I can't. Is it good? It looks good to me.

They're good? Looks good. I forgive him back. You could shuffle if you want. Shuffle him. He can't shut up. I want to see how he's shop. Yep.

Oh, no. I knew it. Ah, that's shuffled. That's good. You really are. They didn't even shuffle. They just fell on the table, but now you're putting them back in the same order you got them. Give me the cards.

I'll shuffle them. Son, I'll shuffle them for you. Give me the cards. Wow. Can you pick that one up, you a chooch? Don't call me a momo. There's a Joker, by the way. Do you need that?

Hey, the Joker. do we want that in there it's up to you all right let's keep it in okay all right you're ready oh wow make sure they're all facing the same way i want to make sure this is yeah they're i'll tell the people what's happening he's shuffling the crowds holy shuffling oh whoa what's it what's it i know how to shuffle i did it for me to go back yeah So much for the greater good, Greg. Really, our fall on the sword coming up. I made myself look like a fool.

Some people would laugh. Isn't that in your bio? I make myself look like a fool. Bowing to the increasing demand that he be heard and not see him. Who said? That's so mean. That's your bio. I never read it.

All right. Focus, guys. We all have to focus. Okay. Here, Anthony, you, well, here. Do you want to shuffle them? Okay. Dude, God damn it.

It's a fucking trick at the end of the show. We have similar shuffling technique. Come on, Anthony. Comedic effect. Stop stealing his bit. Greg and I had the same guy that came to our high school and taught us at a shuffle. Don't blame us. Blame.

I just give him. Derek Littlefinger. Derek Littlefinger. That was his name. He had a little finger. That was the problem with the shuffling. He had such a tiny finger. You can never do it, right?

Yeah. Oh, look at the way you shuffle. I can do it with... You can do it with one hand? I can't. If his watch disappears, I don't lose my fucking mind. I want my Rolex. I don't want you to take me.

Also, you fucking dick. I got you that... I connected with that Rolex you wanted. You never followed up. What? About two years ago. What? Remember you wanted that Pepsi Rolex?

I got it. Yeah, well, you didn't get it from the guy that I had because I had a guy and then you ignored me. Whatever. I gave you fucking mics. One time. he was going to hook you up with a Rolex

and fell off a truck and that's how you repay you and he didn't even do it just the idea of it yeah anyway let's see this free dive in and grab one out anyone you want

seriously for your choice oh this one show it to everybody so I can't I won't look at it I refuse to be part of this okay go look look

oh you're right yeah it's not like you your bio you need to see it and not hear it I can put it back I'm gonna show it one more time in case you to

You see it? Okay. Okay. It's up to you. Do you want, we can shuffle, we can go straight into it? Shuffle.

Okay. Shuffle. All right, let's go. Do you want to shuffle it? No, you do it. Straight or you want. Let me shuffle it. No, don't let him give it to it.

No, I got it, we got to go. All right. That's overhand. What is this shuffling technique called, Harrison? That's called the overhand shuffle. Oh.

That's overhand. This is a riffle shuffle. After he said the thing. The thing made your mind go. Ask the question of a thing I just see just said. I'm not Barbara Walton. This is weirdly called the Hindu shuffle, and I don't know if that is okay anymore in 2020.

Everything's okay. Yeah, this is just don't listen to anybody. No, you really shuffled them. Now you're looking at them. Yeah, because I'm trying to figure out your card. You all remember the card. Do you remember the card? I do.

Yeah. Oh, if it's in your nose, Anthony, this is going to be nuts. I'm going to check my person. We're going to try. Don't... I'll put your hand out for me. I guarantee you gets it right. Um, yeah.

Don't say anything. I won't. I'm thinking it's a red card. It is. But I said don't say... I don't. It's okay. It's okay.

But don't... I just... I'm trying to read you a little bit. It's a heart. Um... Is it the three of hearts? It wasn't? No.

What was it? What the fuck? What the fuck? Fuck you! Demon! Demon! Satan! Satan! The power of Christ compels you. That's nuts. He turned that into...

Did you see that? No. That's crazy. He turned the three of hearts into the two of hearts. And there is no three of hearts, by the way. Really? You said it was the three of hearts? You had the three of hearts? You had the three of heart.

Oh, it's another trick coming. We're not even ready for. There's no three... When I sat down like an hour ago, I put a cart under my chair. Hilarious. Fuck you, dude. Hilarious. The illusion is.

Hilarious. Guys, that doesn't do something for you. No, that's crazy. I love magic. It's real manse. That is, we're going to go to Patreon right now. Maybe he'll do another magic trick on Patreon. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Go to patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly. Guys, what do you have? A gun. Follow. And you're all dead. If you just heard,

Danny killed himself. No one gets out of you're alive. That's how I'm going to do it. What do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Brath and come see me at Comedy at Verve in in New Jersey, the third Thursday of every month. If you're watching on Patreon, right now, Greg Stone

is doing it in two days this Thursday, but if you're watching on YouTube, it's too late. Pretty good. What's up, cheese balls? This is Joe Russell. Hey. The curd is the word. Go on on the YouTube,

type in The Cheese Show. It's a show about cheese. Wait, we have a meat show and a cheese show competing? Sometimes there's meat on the cheese. Don't look up to meat show. It's not real. I guess. Look it up and porn up.

I was just running with it. All right, go ahead. This is why they're bowing to the increasing demand to have you seen enough. And you can follow me on Instagram at Zachary Unlimited. Thank you so much. Wow. Can we let him go first next time? He's a good kid.

He's a good kid. He's a great kid. He's a good kid. All right, here we go. We're going to Patreon. You guys are the best fans of the world. See us over there. You know what, dude?