Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #611 | Rich Vos & Rosebud Baker

Episode Date: November 2, 2025

Jeff Dye couldn't make it last minute ad Rosebud Baker comes to save the day.Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/Support the show and start your free online Hims Hair visit athttps://www.hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, I hope you're ruining this. Where's the Bargana, man.

I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. You know what you guys. Guys, give your whole family something to be thankful for this year, a full head of hair from Hems. With Hems, you can access treatment that combines clinically proven monocidil and finaster stride to stop hair loss.

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Hems.com slash YKWD. Individual results may vary based on a study of topical and oral, monocidil, and finasterstein. Featured products include compound drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. what's up everybody it's robert kelly and we're back for another episode of y k wd uh at the comedy

cellar studios above the world famous comedy seller do me a favor hit that subscribe button right now before we go any further just click it if you're watching on youtube and if you want to support the show go to patreon dot com slash robert kelly we're over there what are you laughing at this is why this is why i love this show why do you keep doing it's just stop i do stop the show I would. Why? I would. I've tried.

Can you and Norton just rent a car and go off a cliff together? Fucking Christ, man. Well, we were supposed to have Jeff die. Danny, what happened? He just canceled. But he canceled right before this? Yeah, and what do he say? He didn't give it a reason.

He just said, uh, I'm not going to make it, man. I'm sorry, not going to make my second. Why don't you get him on the phone? I will, I, I wrote him back. I wrote, oh, no. What did he say? What?

No, he's a lie. I wrote, you're a fagg. I hope you get hit by a cab tonight and lose both your legs. And he wrote back, ha-ha, and then he showed me an accident of a cab. Did you hurt? No, we didn't get really. Oh, shit. That'd be funny if he really lost both his legs.

I don't know. I don't think I would laugh. You wouldn't laugh if I said, I hope you believe you. And then he does. No. It would be hilarious. Me and you on the phone. Yeah.

Me and you on the phone. Nobody's listening. I was like, dude, he lost both his fucking legs. You'd be like, he did. He's fucking crippled. Jesus. What? Are you at that age where you, like, you feel bad for people now?

Like, you're trying to make amends? No, I've always felt bad for people. I'm, oh, yeah. Listen, I've always been considerate and kind. and who are you talking to you're considering and kind and yes I might come off as brash or rough or tough but deep down I'm a good person I you know I do things that are good we started the show and you told me to quit

yes I'm being good I'm being nice I'm helping you stop this please subscribe stop quit asking please why don't you just say I need money. Send me money. Send me money. Just send me money. Yeah.

Listen to me. If you're watching this on YouTube, send me money. Should I give him an address? No. Send me money to this. Just send me a check to the seller. Or get a peel box.

Hey, if there's a rich person that, like a millionaire that is a fan of the show, just send me a check for, I'll quit $200,000. Well, I had an idea for a movie. It's kind of like, Uh, here's my idea. It's going to get stolen and it's going to be made, but it was kind of like that movie Easy Money

with Ronnie Dangerfield. My, here's my pitch for the movie. Okay, you're a movie executive, all right? You want me? All right, you want me to be? All right, let's go. All right. Hey, what's up, kid?

How are you? What do you got? Kid? I'm a movie executive. Oh, we're acting. Okay. Here's my idea. Hey, what's up?

There's a comedy. How you doing, Rich? Not bad. Good to see you. Thank you for having me. Good. You're a big hit with my mother. My mother loves you.

Thank you. I fucked her. What? Get out of here. You're the one who got my mom pregnant? Call me dad. Go ahead. Okay, here.

So there's a comic. Just struggling. Are you Jewish? No, I just got these on sale. It's a lot. I mean, it's a lot. What do you mean? It's two necklaces.

It's two necklaces. That's two necklaces. necklaces you're wearing so much diamond okay go ahead i got it from my people it's a lot do you feel like you need to have a like do you feel let me ask you i'm empty yes yes you're empty you are empty i that phrase that is mind numbing do you feel like how much is something like that cost this one yeah it's stupid over the air i it's a lot it was a gift From who? Myself.

Dude, I can't. I bought a pocketbook yesterday. For you? Yeah. A pocketbook? Now, it was supposed to be a messenger bag from Louis Vuitton, but I got it and it was just a purse. I'm done with Louis Vuitton. I'm giving it back.

I'm giving it back. Wait, you bought it online or you want you to... I bought it online on the real, real. Oh, you can't return that. They're taking it back tomorrow. Oh. Yeah, they're taking it back. it back.

I found John. Huh? 1700? I don't know what it was. Dawn. My wife is mad. Why don't you give it to her? She doesn't like, she's like, I don't want it.

I don't want a pocketbook. Same with Bonnie. When I got her a Louis Vuitton pocketbook. She goes, you got it because you like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have Louis Vuitton, uh, fucking computer bag, uh, one night bag, bag, wallet, but I'm done

with them, too. I'm done with them. I'm done with them. I'm done with buying shit. No, I'm not. But I'm done with Louis Vuitton. I'm done with Nike. I've been done with it.

Why are you done with Nike? First of all, because they're a bunch of pandering fucks. All right, during BLM, Black Lives Matter, they had a big thing, Black Lives Matter, you know, on their website. And they're just pandering because yet, I guess, other lives, Asian lives don't matter when they're working for a nickel an hour or whatever, you know, in these sweatshops. I'm going to stop you right.

here. What? Because during the Black Lives Matter thing, and which I agreed with it. Syke. I agreed to some extent. You know, listen. So Nike, who else? Well, because I don't like their ads. I don't like some of their ads. What are their ads? It doesn't matter. I mean, they had, you know, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, They've never would have done this except for what's going on in the Middle East. They had like five Middle Eastern women. Yeah.

You know, and they go, be all you can be or be who you want, whatever. And they're, you know, pandering, you know, and I thought they were just selling, using them because they were selling backpacks or something. To put bombs in? I didn't say that. Then they, then the Jews use, you know, after the whole of course. cost never again that's a favorite you know i have that tattooed on my arm never again yeah then after uh some that's what club owners get after you go there yeah yeah i know i've heard that joke

four thousand times thank you danny was that danny or joe and then i uh you know never again then after their marathon their big billboard was never again something you know they basically look they stole did they steal you've never used never again the arabic never again the Arab? It has something to do with Arabs. Never again from the Holocaust. So Nike took it. Well, they used it after their marathon on a big billboard in England. Never again. Never again. What? I don't know. Whatever, you know, something to do with the race, you know.

What? I'm confused. Okay, here. Let me find it. But what does that mean? For Nike? For Nike? Have you ever again until next year? Yeah. Does that mean? I don't understand it. Danny.

It's for the marathon. Yeah, why never again? Until next year, they're meaning they're just going to do it next year. But you know somebody works at with their company going, wait a second. There's got to be one Jew at Nike that went, I don't think we can use this. So nobody can use that because it's your thing. Well, they can, but it's just like, it's like, you know. Yeah.

I don't know. I told him, I told him, I hope he gets hit by a cab and he loses both his legs. why does he have a spot downstairs what time he's yeah he's not going to make it Liz Liz come over here sit down

come on sit down just come on sit down on the pot Liz you haven't been on a long time give it up for Liz everybody everybody knows Liz what's up mama how are you

I came up really angry you are you seem so happy now well yeah I feel like it canceled on you too. What's that? He didn't cancel on me. It's on him. It's really good.

What is it? It's a protein shake. It's delicious. How much sugar is in it? None. Eight grams. No, six. But no added.

How many carbs? Five grams. Can we not do this? Total sugar. Carbohydrate, eight grams, two grams of fiber. It's good. What's that? Why are you doing this?

It's good. Are you losing your hearing? Who? Maybe. Why do you say what's that a lot? why do you bounce all over the place can you run a fucking decent podcast and quit bouncing he could but his guest canceled yeah well guess what his big guest is here where right i was going to pitch my tv my movie oh yeah no no no i want you to hear this he's got an awesome

idea for a movie and maybe we can get this done but well okay because i wanted to get steak i'm not hungry yeah i just ate i'm hungry all right go ahead okay okay Okay, he was talking about, Bobby said to anybody out there, if you give me a million dollars, I'll quit, right? Or at least quit this podcast. I said $100,000. Oh, okay. I'll quit this podcast tomorrow. That's fair.

So, send it to the seller. So I had an idea for a movie years ago. What it is, there's a comic, struggling, can't, you know, it just can't get ahead. But he's well respected, basically me. He keeps well respected. You didn't need to say it. But anyhow. Now, so everybody in this room is going, that's you.

Yes. So, but here's the premise of the movie. He's on stage doing, and this goes back when they used to have a big showcase. Let's say the improv in L.A. Yeah. All this industry is in there. You know, this is it. It's either do or die.

Right. Okay. He's on stage. He's on for like, I mean, he's doing well. And then a celebrity walks in. Let's say Jack Nicholson. Okay. drunk out of his mind

and he's just ruining the show heckling, shut up and then he's like, you stink I'll give you $2 million to quit comedy, right? Wow. And so the guy says, takes your offer and now the guy has got the money

and he's miserable because he can't do comedy anymore. This is just the daydream you had one day in a shitty home. You would be so happy. You would just sit with your weird like old furniture like covered in plastic, watching, like, Antiques Road Show. That should be your dream.

No, no, no. He wouldn't be able to quit because he's such a ham. He'd still do. Oh, he always goes back to food. You understand that. He would never quit. Well, no, then he starts doing poetry. Oh, do you do.

Or whatever, because he can't. Do not have to do poetry? Spoken words. Huh? Yes. Go I do a poem. Rosa Red. I hope you're, no, I can't do a poem.

Rosebud. Yes, Rosebud. Sit over here. Sit down. Don't leave. I got to go. File of you're going to go. Because I have another show around the corner and I have to now replace Jeff Dodd. Where do you want her to sit, Danny? There's the open seat.

That's not going to happen until like 11. That should happen. What's hot soup? That's a Norman, Ruby Veter. What a fat, fuck guy I am I was like. We have moved on soup downstairs. Borsh. Should I sit here?

Yeah, sit there. I love you, Liz. see you later but it won't it won't happen until 11 right I mean there's other people on the show can you just sit down and stop asking stuff

yeah what are you doing what's hot soup is that a shoe a show hot soup a shoe a shoe hot soup keep going with your poem

I don't have a poem I roses are red violets of blue thank God I don't like you and I'm a Jew I knew it was going to end with you.

Who's it is? How are you doing? I'm good. I'm good. Voss has a movie idea. Now, listen, you're in the business. Mm-hmm. Right?

Yeah. Used to be. I forgot. You're not doing SNL anymore. I'm not doing it. Last time you're on the show, you were. Yes. And now you're on.

And that's how things go. Really? Yeah. Did you want to be off? I did. Yeah. Now, let me, how do you leave golden handcuffs like that? I was in this like, I, I just,

said to myself, I was like, okay, this is what I'll do, I'll go in, and I'll tell him that I want to perform, and then he won't want to hire me, so he'll just let me go. Right? So then I told, but you can't, like, get a meeting with them unless, like, they know what you want to ask, so I told a producer.

I was like, listen, I want to perform, and, you know, and then it was like, I just got to leave. Why wouldn't they let you perform, though? Because there's no real, like, place for me on the show. They don't like white girls? Yeah, that's it. Really? Yeah.

How much, like, as the money you make as a state senator in Pennsylvania, right? Does that? Is this a glasses joke? What's this? What are you doing, dude? I just called you a Federman. Why? Oh, shit.

Oh, because the goatee. Just everything about you. Yeah. Doesn't he? I listen, I got it with the hoodie. It was a long walk. You know what I mean? Yeah. It is going to be out of S&L.

Yeah. It's a long walk out of NBC. When were you in N? When were you last in 30 Rock? Let me ask you that. You fucking. Last week. Don't turn on me.

You not let him trigger you. You can't say that. You guys are giving each other shit. I'm giving him shit. Yeah, she's giving me shit. I don't want you to get sucked into his bullshit. I'm trying to help you. Fine.

We're here to have a good time. Listen. I guess again. Yeah. We're here to have a good time. We're here because Jeff Dye canceled. How do we turn off his mic and then we'll just put our headphones on? Jeff Dye canceled.

That's why we're here. Turn off Rich. Jeff Dye did cancel. He canceled? What tattoos on your arm? Let me see. I'm not showing you. Come on.

Let me see your. This is the problem with Rich. He always does his side podcast. I ask you a question. Instead of going with that, he's like, what tattoos do you have? It's not because he doesn't wear headphones. So we really can't hear that we're talking. talking.

Yes, like cattle right here. What do you got? Will you stop? I want to know why. Oh, that's nice. She left SNL. There was a house cleaning of SNL. Yeah.

They fired how many people? Five. Is it? I'm talking to the... I don't actually, he might know. I don't know. I read the story. What was the story?

Five people let go. You're lying. Go look it up. You're lying. Ask your fly-by-night producer. Look it up. Is that a fly? Okay.

Which one? One, two. That's two, two writers. And one, two. Oh, wait. I think it's like seven at this point? A lot of people left. Or eight?

Now, do they get fired or did some people leave? Some people left. They said I'm out. They just couldn't do it. Really? Is this like some crazy mix-up that's going on? No. What are they trying to do?

This is what's been happening since the show started. They never leave. No one ever leaves like seven people. No, it used to be like that all the time. Like if you forget that like Adam Sandler was only there for like three and a half years, I think. Right. Like it's only been recently that people like hang on to it like a senator gig. How come they don't have a like a, they always used to have like some bro dude on there.

Like a Sandler or, you know, like a Murphy or some guy guy. Yeah, you're looking for an alpha. We're looking for an alpha. Somebody that gets your dick hard. Well, somebody that can talk about their day. Can that get your dick? Can that get your dick hard? But right?

Like, they never, who is that guy now? Who is the guy that me and Voss can relate to? Or, like, the regular dudes can relate to. Who is that? I don't know. Well, who did they ever have that week? Shane was going to be that guy? Yeah.

Shane was 100% going to be that guy. That, like, you know, middle America dude could, and chicks could understand. But they don't have that. They haven't had that in a while. Yeah. I don't know. You know why? Because those guys aren't in.

improv classes. Like, those guys aren't... Well, you know what they say about improv. It's one letter short of improve. It's what? Oh, God. Wait, say it again? I shouldn't do a word comedy.

Wait, what was that? What was it joke? I'm not... I didn't even like the way you, like, squirmed in your seat when you did. Because I was nervous about spelling it out. Improv is what? I can't stand you. It's one letter shirt of improved.

It's one letter what? Ah! Jesus. It's like doing a show with my old fucking grandfather. one letter short I'm not going to touch you I'm not going to touch you wait

it's one letter short of what will you tell him I can't I don't know the joke I don't I feel like this is a bit that he's doing like pretending not to hear you no I don't get your joke if it is a bit then that's the funny improv is one letter short of improved

I can't believe you're continuing to tell Oh I get it E! Oh my God I get it you weren't joking I didn't hear it literally can't read you can't fucking read I can read

oh my god I can't read why can you put your coat back because I got cold yeah turn the ACA I'm sweating in here you're sweating that's because of all the

political stuff going on no I'm sorry I'm not sweating are you nervous walking around with that shit on if I don't put it out when I walk to streets I'm not a dummy

why don't you just hang money from you that was really racist what How's that racist? Is that what Jews do? Racist against my own people. Can you quit bugging us?

He's talking to Joe. Did you get out of our face? Poor Joe's taking video. Holy fucking. But this is what, this sucks about comedy now. What not? All of this, it just sucks. Yeah.

Thank you. Look, I'm going to say to me. I know that you don't like it either. I've been doing this before anybody. I know. This is before anyone in the world. I was doing this before them. No, you're,

Keith and the girl were the first. Before Marin. Before Marin. I was before Marin, before Burr, before anybody. I think Rogan, I mean, Keith- Wait, for real before Marin? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I started this, I started this me and Colin Quinn on, we used to do like this thing called the, I figure what it was called it, you leave a voicemail on your phone. So I would call the thing, hit the button,

and I would call him on two-way, and then we just talked for like 15, 20 minutes. It was called Robert Kelly and St. sometimes Colin Quinn because sometimes you wouldn't answer the phone. He would tell me to go, fuck off. And then I would leave a voicemail on the computer on my website. And fans, it would, fans could just go listen to it.

But that wasn't this. It was this, that's what this became. That became this. Then it was me and Joe DeRosa, because I wanted to do it more consistently. That was, you know what, dude, at the beginning. Yeah. That was me and him, and then me and Dan and then me, Dan and Joe, and then me, Dan, Joe, and Lewis.

Okay. That was for a while. And then, and now it's just been going, you know. But yeah, I am, I am, yeah, I've been doing this for a long time. But I've always loved doing it because I was doing Opie and Anthony, but I wanted to do my own thing. Yeah. You know, because those fans were nuts. Right.

And I wanted to take my fans from that and bring them over to where I was. Yeah. And I did. And all 38 of them are still here. What's wrong, Voss? Oh, it's such a fucking boring story. Oh, God. What a love of God.

Where is Jeff died? He watched both of our eyes glaze over and he kept going. I know. He really kept going. I mean, really. Like, I'm starting to see the appeal of this for you. I know. It was the second time she was going to quit a show.

Yeah, I just. Yeah, but you weren't doing pipe. I think Keith and the girl were doing it. Why are you defending them? Who cares? You're right. I don't care. It was the same around, around the same time.

What? month. April, fuck face. They were, they were September. April of the year before.

And September is, oh God. What was your point, though? You were like, I've been doing this longer than anybody. Yeah. Because I was complaining

about the recording shit. You said this, you hate, you hate that this is comedy now, that we have to do all this shit. I mean, yeah, but I, I get that we have to do it. I get that and I'll do it,

but it does bother. Well, filming because you want to get a clip to, you know. It bums me out a little bit. Yeah, I hear you. I'm with her. Because we used to just do stand-up. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you'd wait. I was saying, I mean, I haven't even been doing this long enough to be complaining about it the way that I am. Right. Like, the fact that it's changed this much in 12 years, just, I've only been doing it 12 years. So, and that was like, now that's like, I shouldn't feel like I'm like an old-timer.

I don't get it. Like, how has it changed this much? in that short of a time. Technology. Yeah. It's social media. Yeah. We had no social.

We had MySpace. But even when we first... Before MySpace. We were before MySpace. I remember feeling guilty for getting up at three. Yeah. And just going to the clock, like waking up, getting coffee, smoking butts, getting some type of lunch or something.

Yeah. And then we'd go down to the club. We'd meet at the Boston. And then we'd run around the city all night. Yeah. Every night. Yes. Every night.

It was so fine. And then you'd go home at like two or three and you'd fucking see up, watch you stupid, you know. Mary Talimore and Bob Newhart. Yeah. That's where you went home. Was it 70s? Who's going on? Oh, yeah, that was before comedy.

Yeah, dude, listen. Ben, we would stand. We would do shows. Bob Newhart. Oh, they were great. Mary Talemore and Bob Newhart when he was a psychiatrist, not the other one. I didn't care about the inn, but the psychiatrist. And Mr. Carlson.

And it's so funny. You're talking with the original Bob. Yeah, they're real. So we would do so many shows. And we'd be at Boston and it'd be like, you know, me, Patrice, Keaton, Bobby. I mean, just, we ran the fucking place. And at the end of the night, we'd come to,

and then we'd stand in front of Boston to like three in the morning, just smashed in each other. I literally walked by the Village Lantern on the way to the cellar tonight just to be like, I wonder if that's, like, still there. You know what I mean? And I walked by the Village Lantern, And I remembered me and Kippy and Henry Foley and Reggie Conquest and Derek Gaines all, like, sitting outside of there until like four in the morning, just like sitting on top of the mailboxes. Yeah.

Where's the village underground? I mean, Lantern, right down the street from here. It's right where the Boston used to be. Oh. Yeah. I think. No, it's on the other street. It's on Houston Street.

It's on McDougal. If you make a left at the end of the block. Yeah, not House. Bleaker, bleaker, bleaker, bleaker. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Oh, hang on a second. Thank you, thank you, buddy.

Yeah, well, I want to let you know that's, it's, uh, that's my, give me that. That's not for him. That's mine. Anyways. What the fuck does happen? He came over with a wrapped present for Vos. It's not for Vos. And then you acted like for a second like it was for Vos.

It's me. And then you took it away from him. I took it away from him. You, my daughter? That's crazy. No, because we're having a good conversation. It's mine, actually. I don't want, I want to give it to him when he deserves it.

Oh, okay, you're going to make him earn it. He doesn't earn it yet. Mm-hmm. Okay. When I went through the fucking tunnel, I earned it. When I, when I paid 12 tolls to hang out with Jeff Dye, not you. That's what I heard. Okay.

Did you really get excited to hang out with Jeff Dye? No, no, I have to make amends to him because I don't think he has our sense of humor. What did you tell him? I told him, I hope he dies and loses legs. Yeah, no. I didn't tell him, when we were at Skangfest, yeah. He was eating a banana and I walked by and smacked it out of his hand.

That's hilarious. And I think he got mad. That's why it's funny. Yeah. That's why that's funny. That's what we do. We smack, you know. I did that to my friend who got like, I remember, this is the same day.

We were outside of the grizzly pear and we were barking. And my friend was like, would not shut up about how hungry he was. He went to go get like a chicken swammer and he comes over and he fucking opens it up. And I just. swatted it onto the street. And I was like, oh, my God, he's going to hit me. Like, I was like, he's going to hit me on the street.

It was the funniest. Yes. To this day, I'm like, I don't regret it. There's nothing funny. Not only did I, I swatted it. It hit a cab as it was just across the whole, got on his shoes. At my barbecue, we were all sitting around. And Danny walked up with Italian ice in his hand.

And I smacked it out of his hand. and everybody laughed. Okay, he felt like shit, but it was worth... It's worth it. It was worth killing what self-esteem he has in life to get that laugh. He had his little snow cone. He had his snow. By the way, it was four falls.

What's that? It was your... I was bringing it to you. It wasn't my eye. Oh, that's... You understand? Did you understand his attitude? I know.

He's got to stick up. He's going to stick up. Why'd you have to ruin the story? Yeah, he ruins the story. He wasn't bringing to me. I didn't say get me Italian. It doesn't matter if you were. The funny part of it, you slap something out of his hand.

Yeah. But he's going to ruin it with his own little... Historical facts. This is the new comedian... You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, no, I was getting it for you. Well, guess what?

So it's on you. We were downstairs at the Seller. This is a comic. And that show Guy Code. They brought it back. I don't know who the kid's name is. When did they bring it back? Well, this was a while...

Oh, okay. They brought it back from... No, no. It was some... Andrew Schultz. No, no. No, no. Ron on Hershberg.

No, it was a good comic. So, that fucking Hersberg dude is fucking funny, man. He's got some really good material. No respect for him. I don't care. Why? He's Jewish. I know, because he takes tubs.

He what? He takes baths every morning and reads. No fucking way. Yeah, it makes me sick to my stomach. You don't like it that. I always had his roommate on. He was a guy who was roommate, he goes, I go, when did you last time you shit your pants?

It was a question from the Patreon. And he goes, well, I live with Ronan. And Ronna would take 90-minute tubs every day and read these really, these crazy books. And I was like, he would take a bath every day. And he goes, yeah, once I was in the bathroom and I had a shit and I went up shit in my pants because he didn't have so long. I was like, I would have shit in the water. I haven't taken a bath.

I haven't. You shit on his book. I haven't been in a gay bath house. I mean, I haven't taken a bath in. who takes a fucking bath? Well, anyhow, so we're sitting at the table, the newcom, and every day. This is what makes me feel bad for your generation,

is that you guys think baths are gay. Like, you'll be like, I can't take a bath. It'll make me gay. I can't do it. But it's like, you can take a bath every once in a while. I don't mind a bath once in a while. You don't take a bath every day like you're fucking from the UK. You need to take a shower six days in the shower.

The worst is when you fucking take a bath and you fucking jerk off in there. And then the jizz is coming out. You're like jellyfish on top of the water. And then you get out and it's all in your pubic hair is like little glue balls. Rosemann. Please, Rosemond. Reese Rosemond, no. I'm sorry.

Rose bun. I'm sorry. It's too much fun. I get stuck to you like glue balls. So what's even fucking more disgusting. That I'm laughing. picturing you like playing. with your own jizz in the world.

No, it comes at you. You're not playing with it. You're trying to... It's fucking... It is like magnetic minds, like that are just coming after the ship. Jesus Christ. Anyhow.

So, the new comics... Brozbo, you really fell off since you quit S&L. Yuck. Yuck. Oh, but I could smack a chicken swarm out of a starving man's hand. I guarantee you half of your 38 listeners

just turned off the fucking radio. Well, I went to take it. Or went to take a bath. When I said, Rich Voss, they did. So the comic was sitting at the table. I went to take a bath. This is the new generation. You know, in the cellar, and he said,

oh, I might be on whatever, the new guy. And I trashed. I said something, you know, and he goes, what's that about? I go, are you fucking kidding me? I just fucking trash you. What do you mean what's that about? Yeah.

You know, and you're like, you've got to explain a trash thing now. It's like you just took all the phone out of it. Yeah. But it was funny because I did a spot last night. These are too hot. And I was like hanging out and like comics just come in and sit by themselves or say hi for a little bit. Yeah.

Or quietly discuss something and then they just go on and leave. Yeah. Like it used to be a hang. Yeah. Like you used to come and what's up? Fuck face. Nice shorts. Yeah.

You know, all right. Cool. fucking fat lips sit down you know what I mean we used to be I mean we used to just be we used to be funny I think that all the time I do think the pandemic like it was already kind of leaning like that way because I think our phones have gotten us I think we're like literally addicted to them the way that somebody could be addicted to fucking crack we're just addicted to them and then I think that they've like hijacked our dopamine shit so we don't connect with people anymore I don't think it's I'll tell you what I think it's it's wokeness

This wasn't a business. This was a way of life. Yeah. We did this because we had to. And we came in not just for the stage time or fame or whatever we might get. We came in because we had to do it. This was our drug. Yeah.

And part of it was showing up at the club and going, what's up, dude? Yeah. And fucking making each other laugh was just as important as the stage. Now. If not more. I remember in the beginning it was more. important yeah now it's a business yeah now it's guys going what are you going to do like it's almost like i'm going to go to med school i'm going to be a comedian and i'm going to work hard i'm

going to write jokes during the day come in and do them at night and go home and get sleep and go to the gym and write you it's these i don't need to these guys don't need to come in and socialize because it's not what they are it's what they do yeah see we were also too we came in broken and you know what I'm saying like that's it's who we are we at off stage but these people chose to do stand up because it's a viable gig for people who can write learn a formula of a joke set a punch tag so I can take any topic dip it into this formula and have a joke that night and because of who I am and young and whatever good looking or whatever you can have you can make money see uh well oh no I forgot I guess that's what I'm that's what I'm that's

what I'm saying it's like that's you just kind of put into words what bums me out about it is that I don't feel like there's anyone coming in that feels like they need to be doing this like on some you know there's a couple I shouldn't say there's I know I love like these fucking losers over here my Joe and Danny and Zach and yeah because that this makes sense for them yeah but else are they going to do but even but off stage but he but offstage they're trash they're trashing each other. They're always fucking trying to make each other laugh, right? Even like the new, there's a couple of new guys like Danny

hangs out with Devin and all these guys. These guys are always fucking around being funny offstage. Well, it's Keith had to be. And I'll tell you where it kind of stopped. Keith had the best, what do you call? Help him. Help him. I can't think it away. Rosebauer is your writer. He's had the best. Sounds like he's having a fucking stroke. Keith had the best comparison. He would go.

back of the bus funny in front of us funny there was comics you know people that went to school the side of the back of the bus that was us all the fuck-ups and you know being funny in front whatever yeah and i think it kind of stopped with the last crew that came up from philly you know like uh and those guys they would those guys yeah yeah because they would all they They would, Chris, before he passed, may rest and peace, cotton, those guys would come to the back. Yeah, what a piece of shit he was. He died?

Chris Cotton years ago, yeah. You didn't know that? Oh, okay. And they would come to the back. I did love, I love Chris Cotton. Yeah, he was great. What a piece of shit, though. He was great, though. I mean, he was such an asshole.

I love shit. So did I. But he was an asshole. Why? He would start shit. I remember I was at LOL and I was on stage and they were giving me shit. And Chris came up and goes,

No, Chris went up and then I had to go up. And these people were heckling me. And then Chris came up and he goes, all right, you can, you can, whatever. He basically was like, you can't fuck with me like that. So then he comes off and the next time it goes up and I'm in the green room. And like these people followed him back to the green room. And Dave was lying down with like his headphones in. And these people, these audience members, comes in and they start walking towards Chris.

And Chris was like, if you take one more step, I'm going to punch you in the face. And then they took one more step and like the whole basically Dave got his nose broken because Chris fucking started some shit. Dave who, Temple? Dave Temple. Dave Temple. Really? Yeah, Dave Temple.

They threw a chair. They broke Dave's nose. Dave had to go up to some hospital and like, I forget. Like, I don't know if they, if they, he didn't tell them what his real name was or what because he didn't have health insurance or whatever. Yeah. But he fucking got his nose broken. He was just sitting there getting ready to, for his fucking. fucking set like listening to his set and he gets hit with a fucking chair but still because Chris

cotton was like couldn't fucking you know look though that crew was fun they would come up and uh you know and they would they would try to come back to the back table and trash us yeah and we'd beat them down and they walk away yeah you know and what's his name uh foley was part of it yeah all those guys from phil and then after that that's when it just went downhill yeah it just i it's weird though podcasting. Now, Netflix is getting into podcasting? What do you mean? They're going to have podcasting on Netflix. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

it's just, it's so, it's happening so fucking fast, all this shit that I mean, and there's so much of it too. Think of this. We had Comedy Central. That was it. And HBO, right? That was the only place you get. And then you do the late shows. Two of them.

There was only two of them. No. There was three, four. One. Now, back when it was, it was It was Carson and Letterman. That was it. Oh, before that. I think what was, here's the thing. We didn't like gatekeepers, right?

But it's like they had a, they had taste. You know what I mean? It was like they, they were keeping people from ingesting horse shit. Right. You know? So it sucked. It sucked. It sucked.

It sucked. But it was better. But also like, I can't complain because I, this, I came up during this, I came up during time where they were like out of there you know what i mean so i don't i don't know i've benefited from it a little bit but i mean it was you know one there was you did tv and it and it changed your career you know just if you sat down with fucking carson you were fucking you were fucking golden no i i mean i remember somebody at one of the writers at s and l being like there was a time where not one person in this writer's room didn't have a development deal moving like at a

rapid pace while also working at this show he's like now nobody's got anything else going on like it's yeah this is it well the good thing about new york like if you don't have anything going on in la that's the fucking worst at least new york yeah you can get spots or you feel like you're still have in LA if you don't have anything going on it's the most horrible feeling on the planet I feel like the industry is dead I remember going down and my car being the only one

in the garage every single day every morning I would go down and my car was the only one that was like still in the garage and I was like I'm going to kill myself I think the industry's dead yeah I think TV you know

all you know sick con it's all fucking gone Like, the bubbles burst and nobody's actually saying it. But stand-up comedy is as hot as it's ever been. I mean, think about that. You got guys selling arenas. You got Burt. You got Shane.

You got Nate. You got, I mean, then you got Burr. You got Louie. Then you guys like Marin doing theaters. You got, you know, Mark Norman theater. You got these guys doing these 3,000-5,000-seat theaters. And then you got all of us doing clubs everywhere. there's a lot of stand-up comedy

and a lot of money being made in stand-up comedy. We're making more money than people who are on a sitcom for a year. You know, because it's not like they're doing... We, don't say we. Stand-up?

Doing stand-up. Don't say we. All right, me. I'm sorry, me. You guys are making money doing stand-up? Yeah, it's good money, but it's, you know,

it's a different level than arenas and theaters. I mean, those... The clubs, you still make money. Yeah, good, yeah. Right? Yeah, I make, yeah, I have a good, I'm trying to give a, I'm trying to give a speech for us. No.

And you guys are fighting me on my speech. No, I'm not fighting you. I mean, that was part of why I left is because I was like, I can make the same money doing the road as I can here. But don't you think, like, being on SNL, though, if you had stayed, you were just going to be a writer. They weren't going to put you on air. Yeah. Were they about to make you a offer or did you? No, not that I, not that I know of.

So you think you might have got fired. anyways i don't know i wasn't i don't even think of it like it was just one of these things where i was like it's time to go you know if i don't go i'm gonna stay here and i there's so much is changing in in the industry that i'm in the fucking stand-up that like every summer when i tour which is the worst fucking time to tour i was like i can't i can't keep up with how quickly shit is changing and if i just do this there's going to be one summer where i go it's changed too much. I don't want to do it anymore. And then I'll just stay as a writer. And I don't want to do that. I'm like, I want to be on stage. I want to. And it also felt right timing wise because my special came out and I got a book coming out. And it was like, all right. You have a book coming out? Yeah. What's the book? It's like a memoir. Of what? It's a collection of essays about like family. Really? Mm-hmm. God damn. You're smart? Yeah. You wrote it or had a ghost writer. She's a writer, dude. Oh, yeah. Good idea. Fucking asshole.

Wait, did you go to college? Did you? Yeah. Where? Emerson. Whoa. Everybody who's in Emerson makes it. Did you go to college?

Really? Yeah. No, you didn't. What the fuck is? What's that? You graduated college? You didn't ask that. Oh.

Where did you go? Don't get so specific. I went to Bunker Hill. Is that like a battle in the Civil War? No, I went to Bunker Hill Community College for Fine Art. Fag. Community College for Fine. Gay.

He's a gay. Community College for Fine Art. You just call me a gay? I went to Community College for finger painting. You put the AC back on. I'm hot. I am too. I'm actually really sweaty.

What the fuck is it? I don't want to go down. I don't want to go down. do this. Do what? I don't want to do hot soup. Don't do it. What is hot soup?

Say here. I'll say, Kay, Bobby's, Bobby's podcast is running over. What's hot soup? Danny, how much time do we have? So I can give her a time. We've already talked about what hot soup.

No, you didn't say what it was. Yeah, Liz described it when I walked in to Bobby. It's a fucking show. It's a show with the Fat Black. Annie, we're at 40 minutes. Okay, are you all right? Upstairs in the small room? upstairs

In the fat black The little room Is the fat black Yeah the lounge Yeah I love that room Yeah I love it too

You know they're open In the new room In November Are they? Yeah Good Yeah Are you excited about that

I am excited Yeah Yeah people don't know That the comedy seller Bought the McDonald's On the corner Which was just like A public detox basically

It's World Star McDonald's Yeah Anytime you saw a McDonald's fight It's that Is that McDonald's Yeah And they bought it And now it's gonna be

small theater. I'll never forget. I walked into that bathroom one time. At McDonald's? And I'll never forget what I fucking saw. Oh, Yamanika. Eating hamburgers. What the fuck you doing here?

Fuck you. I'm going to get a text from her in a week. She's going to hear from this. This is my stupid. This is my fucking hamburger place. This is where I sneak my hamburgers. And that park next show was full of rats. No, there was shit sprayed.

all over the wall. Like somebody had pulled down their pants and just exploded. Oh, it was crazy. Oh, I want to get up and walk out now. Well, it's funny because they left that. Almost as gross as your cum as the sight of your cum.

Attacking me? Yes. Like, well, his cum had his little face on it. You were in the bathtub playing with your own cum. Coming to get you. I didn't play with it. Blah!

Yuck! Wolf! Woof! It was disgusting It was so gross Were there bubbles in the tub Or was it cum? Just come

Stop! I bet his fucking little chest hairs Were like stuck to the wall You think the cum got stuck to his nipple hair? Probably. Oh, I didn't have hair then. I wish I wish

Why are you such a piece of shit? You're a piece of garbage, man. Yeah. Yeah. Give me his present. You remember? Give me Voss's present. This is his anniversary present.

I want it. It was my anniversary. Tomorrow's 20 years. Yesterday. Was it your anniversary? Five years? Yep. Well, it's his anniversary.

Give it to me. I mean, I can't. I don't know what to tell you. I just gave you a set of golf club. I get, she took it. She's very forceful. You just handed it to her. I didn't hand it to her.

You just handed it to her. She didn't take it. Can you please give it to Rich? No, it's... Let's see what it is first. Because if this counts, it's like... Oh, it's good. You don't want this.

What the fuck? There you go. It's for you. Tell people what it is. What is that? But look who it's I do. Hi, Danny. To Danny.

Danny got Jeff Dunham's autograph. Did Danny sell it? No, I told Dan, I told him I need his present for Voss. He goes, I don't have one. I go, I need you to get him a present. He goes, I can get him a sign for you. I go, perfect. It was framed.

Happy anniversary, dude. That's true. It says Danny to Danny. Yeah, but you could change that to. You don't want it. I'll give it to Andy as an anniversary present. Yeah. Tomorrow's our 20th year anniversary.

Okay, I'll give it to Andy. All right, there you go. Happy anniversary, Rosebiz. Danny's going to love that. This is actually a perfect anniversary present. Oh, for your husband. Yes. How is he doing?

He's good. Where is he? He's at home. How's the baby? She's great. How old is too? He's such a bitch to him. It's great.

Two years old now? If he looks at her, she goes, don't look at me, Dada. And then if he tries to, like, hug her, she goes, don't touch me, da-da. Jesus, sounds like you. Yeah, I know. She'll go, don't touch me, dad-da. She's two years old now?

Yeah, she's almost two. And she, if we're, like, playing, if he walks in the room and he goes, what's going on? She'll literally stop laughing and she'll turn her back to him and not play until he leaves the room. These are all things you do to him. Yeah. I'm raising a huge cunt It's fantastic

Are you excited about that? I'm really excited, yeah You did the same thing No, no Raina was the meanest person She was I remember I remember Listen, Voss

Everybody knew your People were scared of your kid I pushed her around in a shopping cart At the fucking Yonkers comedy club And she turned to a cop and said I don't know her She walked up to Rachel When she had her baby, she goes,

Why would you name you a kid Frankie? Rachel was fucking visibly hurt. I just thought that was a nice thing. You know what she did. And Rachel, Rachel came to her on table. She goes, why would she? Me and Liz was in it. She goes, why would she say that?

A cop I don't know her? She's a... She's a bitch. She's a bitch. She was leaving the stand one night. And she's... Who did she say this to? To Tim Dillon.

She's leaving. She goes, so long, fatso. So Bonnie gets her in the car and goes, you cannot talk to my friends that way. These are my peers. I'm at work. You've got to be nice. Yeah.

So the next night she's there. She's leaving. She goes, it was a pleasure seeing you tonight. Fat cellar. Voss's daughter fucking frightened me. When I saw them show with her, I literally leave.

And Voss... Oh, you know what she did? Dorosa, you get so mad. Remember the movie? When you... Senator Bullock, you couldn't look at something. You would die like birds or something. What was it called?

Bird box. Bird box. Yeah. Every time Joe would come up to her, you'd go like that and cover her face. He would get so, man. Hey, man. You talk to your daughter, man.

It's really bumming me out, you know? I mean, I just, I know. She would cover her face. It's so funny. He called, yeah, man, his daughter, man. What the fuck, Bob? You know, funny's funny, but that's not funny. Yeah.

Your daughter was a vicious person I love it And I remember I watched her When she was a little kid When they were on stage one time And I sat in the back And she was such a sweet kid And we played with toys

And I was on the ground And we had such a great time But then the next time I saw her She's like, what are you looking at? I was like, what? And he's such a piece of shit He brings you to the house And he brings you around

And he'll bring you to her room And she's like, What? And he's like, Say hi to Bobby. Why? And then he opens the door. Say hi to him.

She's like, what? What? Yeah. Hi. I'm like, I don't want you to say hi. Dad, shut the door. It's like, I don't need this. Not from a fucking kid.

I don't need this. He's just embarrassing him. Yeah, you're making me feel like she's like industry. Yeah. Like a CBS executive. I love it. Why is he here? I'm so funny.

Oh, your God is a vicious person. And they made her. You know that. Yeah. They made, I mean, I know they made her physically, but they created that person. I know. They were behind all of it. Yeah.

I blame, I blame them together. 100%. They would rather have that, right? Right. Just a regular kid. Yeah, I would too. Yeah. For us to be like, ah, hey, how's Raina?

She's such a sweet girl. Fuck that. They wanted, they wanted. They want to laugh on the way home at what their fucking mean daughter's saying to people. Yeah, it's funny. Look at them. It's so funny.

Look how much she loves it. They love what a vicious monster. Minow's going to school tomorrow, and sometimes she'll call me Elmo when she wants me to talk in Elmo voice, so she'll go like, look at this, Elmo, and she was doing it, and I wouldn't do Elmo voice back, because I was like, we've done enough of this. And so she goes, oh, fuck, Elmo.

And I just, I just, started cracking up and then i started laughing then andy started laughing and now every day she just goes oh fuck her nanny is like what what do you want me to do i'm like i don't know i just you know and it's not like you can't tell class what did you do i'm kidding yeah what max doesn't get in trouble he's like this fucking angel crazy really yes i feel like max is like a little angel baby compared to no no no no no Well, definitely compared to Rana. I mean, Rana was a mean human being.

Yeah. Like, Rana... Max is a sweetie pie. Max is a nice person. Yeah. But he, she was a, she was a fucking, a comedy monster from hell. Mm-hmm. Because she fucking, you know, you just said, when they showed up the three, the family, we'd be like, I'm not going, I'm not going over.

No, because she's going to say something that's devastating. That's going to hurt my feeling. Yeah. And I'm going to say, I can't call my friend's daughter the C word. Yeah. Yeah, but the thing is, we brought her to comedy clubs all the time. So she, it's like grown up in a prison yard. Yeah.

You know, she sees how we talk to each other and how we try to get laughs and do whatever. Yeah. So that's what she saw. Your daughter. She was just trying to fit in. Right. Wasn't trying to fit in. She was trying to take over.

Are you Russell's trying to fit in So Keith My daughter was holding a little stuffed animal And Keith and Wanda walked in So my daughter turns to Keith And goes like this, right? And Wanda goes, look

It's either the doll Or this You can't have both Oh shit. I think my daughter thinks our dog is ugly like she likes other dogs more than our dog What kind of dog do you get? She's ugly

Did you adopt some dog? Yeah, we just got this dog It was like during the pandemic Who got it? Andy We got it Did Andy pick it? No, I picked it You picked an ugly little fucking adopted dog

It was like covered in shit when I handed it Why would you fucking You know what I said I got my last dog? I said I want the Brad Pitt of dogs When my dog shows up in front of the coffee shop I want everybody else to go oh my god what kind of dog is that i didn't want that i got it i didn't want that you got to put effort into a dog like that i said i want a dog that i'm not going to train and we're just going to hope

it works out yeah i want it's like a kid that you it's happy going to the dollar store there's no effort in my dog my dog is a rock star everybody no your dog's just good looking yeah yeah that's all it is you don't have a hot you don't have a fucking rock star dog you just have a hot dog i have a hot chick dog yeah my dog is an ugly horror Yeah, you get the Steve Bouchemia dogs. She is. Yeah. She's got, yeah, she's got like, even her nipples weird me out.

Like, I don't, yeah, she's got, weirds me out. My daughter doesn't like her, I can tell. Because she went away for like a month, and my daughter didn't even. I said, do you miss, do you miss mouse? And she said, no. You both have fucking evil daughters. You're raising just disconnected, has no empathy. No, my daughter is very connected.

friends in college she's she's well liked you know what we're raising the kind of girl who can sit on a bench and wait people wait for people to come to her yes she doesn't go around the party going hi you want to be friends she said yes yeah she's a leader not a follower she's fucking magnetic thank you i don't like you fuck you and your gay dog you're little poodle what is it a poodle a little show dog it's a little furry fuck that jumps on everybody It's a burn to doodle. Fuck you. Fuck you.

It jumps on people when you go to your house. It's better than your daughter. Yes. I got to go around the corner. All right, Rosebud. See you. Happy, take your thing, would you?

What thing? Your anniversary present. Oh, I will. Rosebud, Baker. You're the best. I love you guys. Can we turn it? Letting me come up.

Can you, can we switch that to Andy somehow? No, I think it's funny or if I just say I bought it off of Amazon and it says Danny. Andy looks like one of the puppets. Don't tell him. I'm going to tell him. that I bought it off of Amazon. Okay, and nobody who's listening.

No, because now he's going to know. What the fuck's the whole fucking bit? I know. You got to... I can't stand this shit. I know. Look at the posture.

Will you stop acting like you're an old person? I'm not. You are. I am. We just want to... Because we want a clear shot for the camera to cut in

when you open it because we don't really see it on camera. Yeah. I don't explain it to me. I know with your little fucking editing team. Look at them. I got your back on this one fucking hate you

I love you He won't know Nobody watches this Rosebud do me a favor Go tan your stomach I didn't even know you Oh my god This is the whitest stomach

I've ever seen in my life It's just because I'm sitting next to my life It's the what the fuck do I got I'm on your side So long Bye I'm looking Rosebud is so fucking angry

It makes me happy How did she hook up Gentle Andy. I don't know. That could be his sitcom, Gentle Andy. Oh, my God. Andy's the most quietest, nicest person. When we try to reboot our podcast and have, you know, from here with, we had them on, they were so fucking funny.

Yeah, it was true. But you were our first, second and last guess, or we did three of them. You're done with your podcast. Yeah, we've been done for a while. We did fucking 11 years, 12 years, you know, just me and Bonnie fighting, whatever. same thing and then you know you two fighting is the best whatever whatever it's the funny it's the best because i know bonnie loves you i know you love bonnie as a friend do you think if we left our wives at this point are you kidding me like if we if we were like

look keep the house I'm just going to go like a I'm going to get like a two bedroom with Bobby somewhere and I'm just going to do the road and shit and play golf I'm going to move to that

me and you move to Vegas and we just call the day and we get like a cool house you got a side I got a side we're going to pool right and we we do that all day all day

all day all right Listen, we're going to wrap this up. We're going to wrap this up. Do you think I'll sell that movie? I didn't hear it. What was it? The movie, what are the guys on stage?

And the celebrity says, I'll give you $2 million to quit. No, because what's the fucking, what is the... There's got to be an ending. Yeah. Beginning and middle I have. I don't have the ending. You do need an ending. What's the ending?

I don't know. What happens if he spends, if he goes back on stage? He owes the money back. Oh, but he already says. spent it. I got the ending. What? I got the ending. He does that.

Fuck you. Quit. I'll pay you $2 million. He signs this whole contract. He does it. If you do comedy again, you owe me this money and a million more in the contract. Okay, great. And he's going. He's trying to enjoy his days, but he can't. He's miserable. He's miserable. And all of a sudden, he tries to do other things, but it doesn't work.

He tries to do this and that. It doesn't work. he tries making jewelry and tries to be in a play like a local all that shit nothing works it's only stand up

it's only stand up and then finally it's this thing where it's like hey man I got this gig for you it's big and you're like

I can't do it I sign and then he finally is like you know what fuck it something happens where he gets so mad at everybody gets mad at the guy

mad at his wife everything and he has to get on the he goes on stage and he fucking just has a meltdown rant but the rant

is fucking starts getting laughs and it's killer and it's nuts and he's killing with this crazy made up rant but he's like fuck but he in the crowd

right when he says good night the place goes nuts and everybody's in the crowd NBC, ABC, even Hulu Netflix and they see him and they're rushing over to him and he's in there like

dude that was the most amazing we have to sign you we got to we should make that into it and then and then he looks in the back and the guy the millionaire guy was in the back of the room and he's just shaking his head and he walks by

I'll talk to him and he walks by everybody and he gets to the guy and he goes listen man he goes yeah you owe me a million dollars you owe me a million dollars and he goes I do I do

and then we cut to his sitcoms winning an Emmy fourth season and he fucking has millions of dollars and him and that guy and that guy the actor guy is in the sitcom

with him and he produced it with him and they both made millions together. They get hit by a car. Jesus. I mean, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah.

I hate you and love you at the same time. Happy anniversary, Rich Voss. Where are you going to be, dude? This Saturday I'm at the Millstone Theater with Joe DeVito and Joe Mackey. And this, you know, you're doing a lot of the gutfeld. No, I just, no, this is a second one. You're on it a lot. Yeah, once a month.

So you're really right, you're far right now. No, I would consider myself a moderate conservative. So you're a far right, moderate conservative. I'm not far right by any stretch, but I'm a moderate conservative. Don't believe in abortion. I don't believe in purple-haired fat chicks with signs that say, you know, pro-pal, whatever. I don't believe in them because they don't even know anything. Right.

All right. So your gutfell is great, man. I want to get it on that show. It's so much fun. October good time. But Danny, what? It's coming out October 26. October 26.

You go there right there. So November, the comedy and the Carlson, great club, awesome club. That's on the first, is that one night? Yeah, Saturday night. Skank Fest, he's going to be there. We'll be there again, which is going to be fun. You're doing YKWD with me. Am I?

I already talked to Christine. Yeah, me, you, DeRosa, and one more person. It was so much fun. last year when we did it. Dude, any time we do WikiDiv, it was awesome. Yeah. Fucking great.

And then Brad Garrett's comedy club in Vegas on the 15th. And then the 21st, 22nd, Uncle Vinnie's, and then Scranton comedy club. He's all overplays. Rich Voss.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many years? Oh, I was in a movie.

Oh, did I tell you, I... Oh, yeah, I told you. I played colonoscopy in a movie. I'm going for a colonoscopy fucking Monday. I've been You're going to wear the outfit? You had to see the outfit they had me, and it was crazy. Was it funny? I was funny as fuck.

And when's this coming out? I don't know. I go, who's the big get in your movie? Who's the star? I go, you. It was fun. It was fun doing it, though. Yeah, I like making movies, man.

It was fun, man. I wish I could get back into it. When you have the director and all the people cracking up, the best. Because the thing is you're just ad-libbing. You know, they go, okay, this is, you know, they would write a line or something like I'll do it this way I'll do it this way whatever and when you have the freedom to do that then it's fucking fun it's the best um all right well check me on punchup dot live slash robert kelly i'm gonna be in tamper in october i'm gonna be in pennsylvania em what is it

how do you say it danny amas oh the theater yeah uh boston comedy club boston masts in november for uh leary's uh cam naley foundation i'm all over the skankfest go to punchup dot live slash robert kelly for all my dates. Make sure you support our sponsors. And Danny, what are you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff. Joe. God damn it, Joe.

You know what's coming. Check out the cheese show on YouTube or go to Instagram and just type in Jokes Russell. And Zach. If you guys can follow me on Instagram at Zachary Limited, that would be awesome. Thank you.

That's so fucked up. Our next Jack performs at Clubs and college is all over the country. Remember those intros when you had nothing? Yeah. His name is Zach. All right. All right, we're going over at patreon.com right now to answer the questions you have

for everybody. So make sure you go to over there. If you want to be part of the show, watch it live and get an extra episode of the program and support the show. Most of all, I appreciate that. If not, just hit the subscribe button for me right now. Well, you know what I was talking about when you jerk off in a tub and the juice starts coming at you, right?

Like jellyfish, but then you get up and there's like little pellets on your hair and stuff. You got to pick them off and chuck them in the toilet. What's a pellet? With the little sperm pellets because once it's in water. Like eggs? It hits air. It gets hard and it's all stuck in you and you, right?

Why would that gross her out? we're going to patreon.com right now goodbye