Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #614 | Live From Skankfest | Shane Gillis, Doug Stanhope, Joe List, Joe Derosa, Rich Vos, & Greer Barnes

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

Shane Gillis, Doug Stanhope, Joe List, Joe Derosa, Rich Vos, Greer Barnes, and Kerryn Feehan, join the pod live from Skankfest New Orleans 2025. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and get up to 47% off by going to https://www.ridge.com/DUDE #Ridgepod#sponsored #ad Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DUDE and use code DUDE and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Support the show and start your free online Hims Hair visit at https://www.hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome, everybody to the show. I started the social media podcast. The back. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again.

Home school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, to help you ruin this. We're the organic. Sorry, it's a property podcast. This isn't NPR. That's the podcast done.

Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. There's two. There's two ways we can start this show. I can bring all the guests out. We have a fucking great lineup. Or I can let my...

Producer Danny with autism, do five minutes. Wait a minute, wait a minute, what are you, I'm sorry, what were you chanting? I can't hear you. Are you chanting Danny? Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Ladies and gentlemen, he used to do magic, and now he does stand-up comedy. He has autism. Danny Braff, everybody.

Skangfest, how you feel it? I'm still, I already had sex while I was here. That was fun. Yeah. It was with him. No, it was with a woman. And directly afterwards, the girl went to the bathroom. And I realized that's happened every time I've had sex.

Directly afterwards, the girl has gone to the bathroom. And I was wondering what that was, so I called my friend. I go, why is it that girls always go to the bathroom directly after sex? And he told me, he goes, girls with the pee after sex, because it prevents them from giving a UTI. And went, okay, so then why is she crying and throwing up?

Right, dude, hell yeah, man. If peeing prevents a UTI, then what does crawling out the bathroom window prevents? I did a show a couple weeks ago. This woman came out to me after the show. She goes, hey, you were very funny. You shared your art with me. I want to share my art

with you. I'm a tech. two artists, can I give you a tattoo? And I said, thank you but I can't get a tattoo because I'm Jewish and my parents would kill me. And she goes, that's why you have to get a tattoo, some of your parents won't see it, like in her ass.

And I went, yeah, but my uncle would tell them. She was like, excuse me? I was like, he's a proctologist and she was like, thank God. I was like, Eddie molest me. So, God, no, I'm kidding. That was a joke.

My uncle's not any prontologist. I'll light it up. 9-11. 9-11 has a slogan. You know it, right? What, 9-11 slogan? You know it? Never forget.

Yeah, never forget. He forgot it. It's not the only tragedy with the slogan. The Holocaust also has a slogan. Do you know that one? No, I asked someone on the last show. They went, never happened. I'm like, nope, that's not it.

That's the answer you get at Skagy Fest. The Holocaust slogan is never again, which I think is better than never forget. I think never again is the better slogan. But 9-11 could have never used the slogan, never again, because it happened again ten minutes later. You got it because peo-poo! And both never again and never forget are both better than the Boston Marathon bombing slogan, which was how about this?

them apples. I don't know. I think I've been watching too much porn. Yeah. Anyone out of course. What's your category, dude? What do you watch? Big titty bills.

Hell yeah. I like, I like milves. I also like gilfs. That's my thing. I like, specifically I like Latina grandmas. Yeah, because 23's a sexy age. And,

and... I'll do one more, get out of here. You said five minutes, I'm at three minutes and I'm doing well. Fuck you. Are you guys ready for YKWD? Give it up for your host of you know what dude, Robert Kelly. What's up, fuckers? Let's get this going.

Bring everybody out. We got the legend, Rich Voss. We have another legend, Greer Barnes. And then we got Joe DeRosa. And special guest, Doug Stadope, is in the house. What's up? What's up? How are you guys doing?

I say every year Stop putting up It's like a fucking panel We have to look at each other We have to be like in the I gotta do this to look at Doug Nobody You think anybody wants to look at you

Oh you're starting right in it You cocks up there Because I didn't say legend with you Yeah Fucking piece of shit What are you mad that there's no trannies here What? There's no trannies

Joe doesn't need a mic stand Because he's already bent over Hello Rich don't he was doing a never again bit Don't you have a tattoo that says never again? Yeah, that I'll ever go see your show. I was going to say that's what club bookers say after you'd work the room. You're not going to beat me.

I can't believe you got out of the tunnel. I'm not going to beat me. I thought we had you guys blocked him. You fucking smelly Arab. Go fuck yourself. Talk to me like that. All right. Now you're going to go up with the Jew thing.

You bring up the Jew thing, it gets nuts. Don't you check? his Instagram, fucking Danny comes out, I'm a Jew, he's a reason there's anti-Semitism, that fucking Boutacchi, shut the fuck up, it's Bukaki, you fucking whatever to fucking, you can't

say Bukaki, you say Bukaki. I'm sorry, Doc. I'm sorry. You started this, you piece of shit. What did I start? You fucking came out of the gate. Greer doesn't do that stuff. He doesn't fuck with people. That's why I didn't shit on Greer. Yeah. Leave fucking the February

portion of our show alone. God. You. You? What? Now, now, but Greer, is this your first

gang fest? Yes. Now, I mean, no, actually I did the very first one in Brooklyn. In Brooklyn. This is your very first big skank fest.

Yeah. Now, how does it feel to be around this many? White people? Yeah. Yeah. You say it. It's normal.

Yeah. It's like working the cellar. Yeah, exactly. Like working the cellar. Not anymore. No. But it's nice. I mean, you know, I like it.

You like it? You like skanky? Yeah, man. Are you skanky? You're fucking real. I'm skanky. I don't know. I've never thought you was skanky.

Well, clearly you've never rid of the comedy cellar at 2 a.m. It gets pretty skanky. Really? Are you still... Now, are you married? No, married. Look at me. You're fucking gorgeous, dude.

You're a good-looking fucking black man. Yeah, not so they don't, women don't trust me. They're like, no, I don't trust it. Maybe it's the hat. You think? It's not a fucking hat. It's a du rag, you fucking... No, it's not a du rag.

It's a hat. I ain't get a haircut, so... What's that? I didn't get a haircut, so I wear a hat. You didn't get a haircut? Not that white people know the difference. Oh, Doug, we can't move the Tony Hinchcliff Water sponsor.

No, I'm kidding. Put it on the fucking floor. You put three waters and a fucking... a casket in front of me. You're trying to tell you something? I feel like I'm being blocked from the audience. Yeah, you were. If anybody in the audience wants to touch your career

so they can go home and tell people... What? What the fuck does that mean? Where are you going with this one? Hey, I gotta stop this one. I mean, it's Skank Fest, but that's fucking racist. I'm not... Oh, I'm racist.

Yes. Because I had two drinking founts out of my house. He does. His daughter married a black guy. My daughter did marry black, too. I mean, so I heard two family. And they got a beautiful Puerto Rican baby. Is that how you make black?

White and Puerto Rican? I thought that was a Filipino. Excuse me, me and Greer are talking. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. I apologize. It's cold to me. Black and Jewish make...

I'm going to tell all the people that were at the 2 p.m. show that you were supposed to host how funny you are. What? What is this? He was supposed to host the 2 p.m. show that I had to host in his stead.

I had to host... Hang on a 1 p.m. show that Kevin Smith missed. Stead means instead. First of all. Rich missed his flight because he had a gate agent corner telling her how Israel is right. It doesn't matter.

We already won. I hope somebody parachutes in here right now. That would be great. It could be Shane Gillis who also didn't show up. I'm calling out all the fucking no-showsos. Fuck boss and Shane Gillis. I'm a pro show. I'm not on this show. No shows. That's Voss's agent's favorite phrase.

Rich Voss I don't have an agent But Bonnie does We're separated Well Bonnie didn't show up either Sorry Let me keep calling out the no show So we're on the show

Why would you show up? I'm sorry I was on a plane What the fuck does that mean? That's not an answer I wasn't here, stupid I'm You're so dumb you're dumber what you're the dumbest person right here at this table yeah you you would be on time

if they paid money here that's what oh sorry jude this ain't this is in foos what nothing why the fuck didn't you come to do your spot because we were flying here and I told them my itinerary that they knew I wasn't getting until three, so why did they put me on the 2 o'clock show? It's not my... Oh, you know what? They fucking hooked me up so beautifully here because they know I had

talent in previous years. Now, do they have good thrift stores in New Orleans? It's called vintage wear here. It's still goodwill. Apparently they have a time machine with your outfit. Fucking Flamingo Kid. Nothing? All right. That thought it was good.

A little wordy. All right. What are you going to do? Hey, welcome to the dated reference show. Hey, Doug, I got a question for you. I've always wanted to ask you about this. When you first started comedy, you're from Boston, right? I'm from Massachusetts. But I didn't do comedy.

comedy there. They were so insular and fucking cunty. I started in Vegas, and Boston was like the, and it still is, the biggest cunty, well, we just do the local, I do Dorchester, and if I can, you can't do it, kind of place. I'm from Boston. So the thing is, I didn't find that at all. They let me write in. Because you brought the pizza. So, what, I need sound effects. on this show. Danny, do some sacrifice. Danny, how do you just say? Oh, he's good autism.

No, he just has a fucking good, he knows the clock. He pulled out his phone. I'm at three minutes. Fuck you. That's autism? No, that's professional. Yeah, drop some matches. See, he'll count them. Did you look at his face? How many drinks

have you had today? I've had about 14. Yeah, we're doing way better than autism guy. Autism is just like a spectrum, whatever thing. We're fucking hammered, and we... I don't know if you're doing this business. I don't know if you're this business. We're doing better than Danny for now.

In a month, I'll have a Tick-Tac that goes viral, and I'll be opening for him. A Tick-Tac? A T-Tick-Tac to him. You said a Tick-Tac. I said a Tick-Tac. No. You can't have a fucking word on the show. What was you?

You said Tick-Tac, you missed the food since the surgery. I told you not bringing up my surgery. I like when you bring up my surgery. Why don't you get show the surgery? Yeah. What the fuck? Wait, oh, your colonoscopy, you just had that, right? I did.

Oh, that was you? Yeah. All right, I saw someone. What was her name? No, didn't you just have a colonoscopy? No, dude, I had my stomach shrunk. Oh, bro. I think I was better when you're fat.

You should have had your, as what my wife says, you should have had your kitchen stapled. Hang on, let that sit. No, no, no. Enjoy that. Enjoy that as much as rich wards doesn't get a good one, all right? This audience is on your side. Bobby did.

Bobby had the procedure done. Before he had the procedure done, he had the procedure done, he had bought a tiny house, and then after the procedure he realized it was a regular size house. His... His... His... No.

Go! Go! Go! No. His tiny house has stretch marks. That one hurt. I mean, one, that one sucked, but that one hurt. I'm just trying to get to my question, man.

I've always wanted to ask fucking... Doug, this question, and we're on my stomach. Doug, we're both from Boston. Worcester. It's a different fucking place. Worcester is a different place. Dennis Lerries from me, by the way. Boston sucks. So here's the deal. You wound up in your early

days going and winning the biggest comedy festival in the country. At the time, yeah. At the time. All right, you don't have to fucking give details. That's back when very few people did comedy. Right. Now it's like the World Series of poker. I've been using the analogy when, well, there was only seven players and then they put

the camera in and everyone goes, oh, poker's easy. And then they flooded the field. Comedy's not hard. They just made it, they thought it was hard. And now everyone's doing comedy like everyone started playing poker and fucking washed out the field. Joe, are you taking this in? Yes. Yes. For 15 years he's been taking this in. In the back. Because he likes penis. Oh, shit, I didn't get that. I thought that was a joke about how I'm a failure. It was a joke about how I'm a game.

Last gang fest, they said, oh, because I drank my piss on stage. It was a... I wonder why they didn't show you a lot of love back in Boston, Doug. No, it was an impulse. No, you were like blown a dude or something back. He drank his own piss. I got, yeah, I got, oh, you were the second weirdest thing. Making your piss on stage with Dr. Drew.

And they go, second weirdest. Oh, because you were backstage fucking a dude or a lady. A woman. A woman. A woman. And I hooked up. A woman with a fucking huge uncircumcised dick. It took them 15 minutes, 10 minutes was shuffling the skin back.

It's the only kind of woman there is in my book. Yeah. It reminded you a home. The problem is. Yeah, when me and Norton discus. disappear from the festival for a full day. You'll go where we're at. You guys are sucking each other off.

That's the problem. That's the weirdest thing. I don't drink my piss on a regular basis. He's blowing dudes all the time. Oh. He won't call him, he will use the right

pronoun and make you go angry. It's a woman. Oh, God. I felt it like it was stolen valor, is what I'm saying. Yeah, because you thought the piss was going to be yelling. I drank two cups. Joe sucked three dicks. That Skankfest was nuts, because...

Yeah, you had it in your mouth. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby! No, that's also this gang fest where Ari took a shit on stage, I believe. What are we doing? What is this funny? That happened? Ari took a shit on stage and there was a paper in the shit that said, I am a Netflix special. That's how he announced that he was going to have a Netflix special.

Yeah, but then Netflix was like, we're not giving the special because you did that. And he had a fight for it. And he was talking to me about that in the green room in Austin. I'm so out of the loop. I don't hang out with you guys. I don't know what you do. Apparently we suck dick and shit on stage. Greer.

What's worse? Drinking your own piss, sucking a woman's dick? Listen, big dick. Or shitting on stage. Does she have big titty? Yeah. Yes, but I did not suck her dick.

I can't take credit for a thing I didn't do. You've never sucked her dick? No. Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever thought about it? First of all, you didn't do it on stage. Did you make out with her? That's gayer than sucking a d-making out with a dude.

Making out with a dude is gayered and sucking a dick. All right. Does that one remember Lemon Party? Because Lemon Party. Classic photo, Lemon Party. It's three old guys. One sucking a guy's dick, and the other's making out. The elderly white-haired gentleman.

Making out part is way worse. It's gayer. We should be you and Vosha recreate that. No. And that would be bad. I'll do it. That will blow piss shit. Tranny dick's off the stage.

I'll take the either position. When you make out, you're showing fucking passion. When you're sucking a dick. Not you. When you're showing spit. When you suck a dick, you're just... Her blow job was less slobary than you speaking right now. Jesus fucking Christ.

I'm trying to say an S. You're 68 years old. Burt had a talker over it. It's insane. I'm trying to bring water to Gaza. Oh, my question is, Doug. Oh, my question is, Doug. us here. I have an 8 o'clock show. My question is, you competed. You and Dane Cook

competed in that together. Yeah, it's good. But I was not, I was reading my Wikipedia page. No, no, no, because I was there because I was friends with Dane. You were, me and friends were there for the San Francisco comedy? No, but I was there in spirit. He was calling me every day. You know, I was, we were both calling our mothers after every show. Right. And Dan Cook was my nemesis back then because of Barry fucking cats you want to bet against

you my guy's going up against you in the fucking San Francisco comedy competition I go I don't know who your guy is you want to bet prize money and I go I don't even know like he was just that you know Barry Cats is a dick he's a legendary

dick manager and so then the first week Hedberg and I are hanging out And we do the first week. Dane Cook wins the, comes in second the first night. And Hedberg and I don't place. And Barry Katz is a fucking punchline, San Francisco. And he goes, aren't you glad you didn't bet me prize money now?

And I go, fuck you, I'm drunk. And I go, fuck you. I'll bet you right now. $100, I win this whole fucking competition. You don't want to make that bet. I go fuck you bet me and then it came down over three weeks and came down

to just me and Dane Cook at the end and it took me I won and it took me almost a year to get the money out of Barry Katz one time my mother was with me in the improv

in L.A. and I go go tell him he owes me I only have $20 on me I'll take it And my mother was there I only have 40 I'll take it It took him a year to pay me

A hundred fucking dollars What a fucking piece of shit I know Rich sees nothing wrong with this story Yeah That makes sense I mean you got the money A hundred bucks

That's a good weekend Hunter Rosa Not anymore This fucking guy Who? DeRosa? Rosa, you... Oh, fuck him. What? What? You, you... Let me tell you something.

I'll tell you something. We all have it. Take those glasses off while you speak to me. Take those glasses off while you talk to me. Take your fucking Janine Garofalo glasses off and I'll take my... Go ahead. Go ahead. Those Fares Whitaker glasses bucked the shit out of me. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.

Last year at Skankfest, you had these like goofy fucking casino, like the movie Casino glasses. I've never made fun of your clothes, Doug. No, no, no. I complimented your glasses and I just told some fucking social media that I have my default picture is me wearing your giant fucking darkened glasses. And I mow green glasses. Yeah, yeah. I still have that on some social media that I don't go to. Last year at Skankfitt, oh, sorry. I worked a club at the Stanhope House, so I got a shirt and I sent it to Doug.

I found it on eBay. I bought it back. Last year at Skankfest, last year at Skankfest, you were on acid. You did a day where you were on acid last year at Skangfest. Oh, mushrooms. You were tripping real hard.

And I talked to you on the phone the next day, and I said, how are you doing? You go, man, I was so, I was fucking tripping so hard. I slept on an artificial lawn for almost the whole day. Yeah. And I go, how was your trip? And you go, it was good, man. But, man, I tried to kiss one of my friends on the lips, and he said no.

And it really pissed me off. I go, that was me. And you go, oh, fuck you. Give him a kiss. No, on the lips. No. You, I'm, I'm sorry. I want a kiss.

I told you I'd rather blow you. Man, stand that. Jesus Christ. Honey, find me a white claw. What? You were going to say something to me. You were addressing me. I know what he was going to say.

What were you going to say? gonna say you looked at me and you said oh no I know take off your glasses when you say that is how it started because because Joe you're you're fucking you're killing it right now but you always find like Doug never had it Greer never had it he's had it I've had it and you have it what's that coattails no I don't you have you have our coattails fucking always get canceled or fucking or they're dead well my first

set of coattails buddy hackett my first set of coattails was good was me then he went to Saudi Arabia I'm joking I'm joking

I was hoping two people got decapitated hang on have you ever had someone because I've never had anyone riding my coattails that is gone anywhere like oh yeah did you see

Danny no that one dude hamber what's he's fucking good he had a special oh no but you were you you promoted him well I promote a lot of people it doesn't make

ever I've never had someone go oh yeah he's famous because of me I've had a lot of people on my coattails I've had, you know, Joe Liss, Lewis, Dan, Big J. The problem with my coattails is they step on them, go up my back, and then fucking jump over my head and pass me and leave me going like this.

Bye, guys. I had, I, I blew a lot of coat tails. Is that how you get them? That's how I got in. But, yeah, you're right, I finally picked some good coattails. You got a fuck. Nothing would make me happier than you fall overboard on that Burr Kreiser fucking Bo Cruz. Everybody's sober on the goddamn lineup.

What, on Byrd's fucking thing? No, but Bert's going to be off hosting it and being the star of the cruise, and I'm going to be sitting in the corner with fucking Ian Fidance and Rosebud. What was SNL like? It doesn't... It doesn't... Are you on it? No.

Are you on it? No, I'm not on it. First of all, you're going to end up doing cruises anyhow, so practice, you fucking boat act. Oh, he speaks. Where, have you ever done a cruise? Hell no, man. No, no, it was too dirty. That's what he told me.

And plus, they don't get on boats. What, hey, yo. Well, not anymore. Is this a T-ball? You guys don't get on trains. Yeah, you're right. I never did the fucking oven tour. And they used to not let Bobby on airplanes

Well No, he He flew cargo Where's my I lost the lake, guys Yeah You look good Thank you dude

You've always looked good Now this is the thing with you You have an acting career, dude I don't know about that Fuck you're a good actor, bro I mean, that might be the case, but I don't have a career. It's weird. Hang on.

I just want to point out, right now, just that question sounded like that Byron Allen late. Oh, and by the way, you have a good acting career. Like, you just shifts. Oh, Greer asked me to set him up for these jokes. Go down. Sal was. You've been in a lot of shit. You weren't Joker?

Yeah, I wasn't a Joker. Yeah, that was it. No, that's not it. That's not it for you. I was in for love of the game. Field of dreams? No, that's the one with the girls. No, that's not, no.

Phil dreams of baseball. Yeah, I know that, but there's one. What's the one with the girls? That's what everybody, league of their own. That's what everybody thinks I was. No, but you were in the baseball one, right? For love of the game. No, field of dreams.

He's right here. He was in it. Just 68. Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I just see you in the field. Maybe I just see you in the field. Sorry, dude, I apologize. Wait. I mean, you have skank fans going, oh my God.

In the middle of you guys talking, Doug just leaned over and he goes, Is Voss really 68? You look great. Thank you. Yes, because I don't drink piss. Actually, I heard that's good for your complexion. I honestly, the first show I was going to,

gonna just piss in a cup and at the end of the show go listen last gang best i drank piss and i just want you to know this whole time i've been drinking my own piss without making a production i just didn't have to piss it anyway so he was talking about films you like baseball what's it like i'm byron allen so you had a color How is Iraq? We're doing it in March. I have a real question for you. Some influencer dentist in L.A. says,

hey, we will give you a free dental thing because we're doing this, like I'm an influencer. They're confused that I have any reach. And I go, and then, I look them up and they do veneers. Was, like, your dentrifice, I'm assuming we're redone because of your drug addiction. These are, these are all implants.

We know. No, not veneers. Like, my teeth are fucked and ugly, but I always use you as the example of, I'd rather have ugly teeth than sloppy, fucking, where's the wall? Oh, shit. Listen.

I'm being honest. One, it's well old. You should have called him a Jew. I don't. First of all, I, I slobbered before the new teeth. All right. Good, that's what I wanted to know, and that was an honest question.

But it's only a couple letters. It's only, like, it's only like... Do you work your set around? Around those letters. Yes. Yeah, that fucking... You know how many words? S is in?

No, no, look. Sam. sick, but when I put an H behind it, that motherfucking A, fuck my whole life up. That's why I hate the Jews. It's the whole I before E thing. Rachel Feinstein, is it IE or EI? Change your name like the other Jews. No, my...

There's no ancient boss. No, but I slobbered my whole life. All right. And my brother... And my brother also had the same impediment. Yeah. But guess what? It didn't hold me back.

Yeah. It held you back. You're doing my podcast. We're in the small knick-knack room. Yes. Did you see story wars? It looks like a fucking deaf leopard show in there. These people couldn't get in there.

There's fucking 2,000 people in there. What? You were out back. No. Listen, you know what I have in life? Yeah. I have a lisp. I have enough.

I have enough in life. I can retire now, and I don't have to fucking try to hang on like you. But that's not your choice. You know, 42 podcasts. Listen, stop. It's not happening. Do you tell me to stop making fun of you? No.

Start doing 12 podcasts a day. What are you talking about? I don't have 12. You're taking it seriously? No, not at all. I was going to say something funny, but I didn't think of it yet. So I'm talking. I'm glad that Doug Stanhope uses my teeth as a barometer in life.

Doug, you don't have bad teeth. Let me see. Let me see. No, what's wrong with your teeth? I hate them. I hate them. It doesn't matter. Why?

Why? Why? Would you hate something about yourself? what other people think. Yeah, Joe. Of all the things you hate about yourself, the teeth are the least of the problems.

Why are you focusing on that? I had like nine teeth removed, all the back teeth removed because, yeah, smoking or whatever, fucking, I don't even remember, whatever they call, periodont title fucking thing. Don't look at me.

I'm not a dentist. I'm not trying to remember whatever it is yeah and I fucking hate my teeth what do you hate about yourself I'm doing this podcast you know what you joke about your left toe

bingo has a huge my wife has a fucking huge thing about her awful giant toes a big toe her big toes are like giant fucking calluses like a fucking manatee

A manatee doesn't have calluses. I don't have. I want to see it. Bingo, show your toes. Get up a Bingo, everybody. Oh, wait. No, you just carved him off. You found a thing.

Sorry. She carved him off. There was a... Anyway, all right. The point is, everyone has something about yourself that you fucking hate that no one else cares about.

Yeah. For Voss, it's his... Biggo. Yeah, sorry. All right You carved them off Sorry We found a thing on eBay

Where she has pictures We'll post pictures She didn't carve But she had these fucking mammoth Big Toes I'm saying What do you hate You what do you hate

About yourself That no one else cares about I act Correct Hold the microphone Dumb dumb Yeah I

What do I don't mean? A lot, man. What are you looking to? You're a good-looking guy. You're one of the funniest guys. I don't know. You know, well, good-looking, don't make jokes. You hate your act? Why do you hate your act? You're fucking hilarious.

I'm dead, I'm not blowing smoke here. You're the hard. You were the, I had to audition at the comedy seller after you, and I didn't get past. Because you killed so fucking hard. I hate following. They were making fun of me upstairs when I was auditioning. They were going, you got to follow Greer. They were such a leveled in a way that I wanted you to get hit by a fucking car.

You know, can I say something? You don't know this? We set that up. You did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you did. We were going to have you follow Easy Norton.

Yeah. Yeah. A slip. A plighting. Slip in a puddle. Fucking Norton's face. I swear you got the first. I didn't pass me.

It killed so fucking iron. You would take that's the reason you didn't pass? Well, part of it was my... But no, it was like, you can't say you're at. Come on, man. Ladies and gentlemen, we've got another special guest. Give it up for the truth. Joe List!

Go! Go! Go, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Go, Joe, Go, Go, Go, Go, Go, Go. No, the mic's not on. It's going to come on. I don't know why that mic was sitting. here, but I assumed it was... Give it to the guy, he'll turn it on.

You still got it. What happened? Turn it on, Joe. Are you going to have a mic? Is there a sound guy that could turn the mic on? He's right there. See the cute guy? I guarantee Joe just filled up.

You touched it. He's got blood in it. Check, check. All right. There we go. What's up? Joe. Hi, buddy. How you doing? I just did Story Awards. We went overtime. I lost. You did? Oh. Me and Big Jay. He wagered 15. I wagered 18. Wow. We both got it wrong. Who won? Who won?

Big Jay. Oh, sorry. That was not easy math. I know. Hang on. Sorry. Big Jay won. All right. Overtide. Good job. Rich is a Big Jay. I hate to break the news to you. I won Story Wars twice, I'm the only one. That's on my... And your wife was the first time, too. Yeah, fuck you. Take my wife's shit. Oh, what? I'm talking about

comics. Real nice. Wait, who's this... Listen, I'm really outside of the comedy scene. Who's your wife? Sarah Silverman. I think you're fibbing. No, it's Roseanne.

No, Sarah Talamash. You know her. Oh, that's your wife? That's my wife. I remember her when she was with a different comic. Yeah. Who was she with, Bonnie? She will be someday. It's freezing right here.

You're fucking jacked and everything. You've been working out? You look good. What comic isn't fucking working out? You? Joe. Joe? Yeah, everyone's fucking, that's the new problem

in fucking comedy is... I'm the problem is the gastro. Yeah, every comic is getting fucking yoked and shit. Fuck you. Fucking right. We're at fucking Skank Fest.

There are two open bars in the green room and nobody except me and Doug are going to the bars and drink. Because nobody knows where it is. It's in the green room. It's in the lounge upstairs. Yeah, but none of the comics know where it is. The old one... They don't drink. No, no one drinks anymore.

I've asked eight people up there. let's have a drink i don't know man what the fuck is going on nothing you're fucking drinking pussy smoke crack like a man fucking homo's having drinks man fucking light up behind you're the fucking guy

Captain Rowdy was the guy that you wouldn't know he was my mentor when I was a dirty young comic with a mullet and he would bring me out because he was a triple X rated guy who's bad but and he was the guy that

would, he gets sober, but he would talk about it. Yeah, I used to do 12 shots of fucking tequila before his show and line them up. But yeah, now you can't smoke in my minipan because my wife will be upset. So yeah, smoke crack now. How about it? Well, I can, first of all, be a man. First of all, I would die because I have money now. When I didn't, when I was a crack, I didn't have any fucking money. And I was, I was running with Bastille. He was shooting heroin. I was smoking crack and we would get money wherever to who were you running with you don't know him he was a comedy did you just go to therapy

what the fuck I have never done heroin I will do heroin money to fucking one up from last year where I was second place to him blowing a dude or whatever he did a woman I will do heroin I will do heroin

the first time at Skank Fest just to show you that I can do it no we don't want you to fucking die because of my podcast. I would die because I had my other addictions. I would go, oh, it was all right, but give me a drink. Anybody have heroin? No, ask them if they have spaghetti. I think you've got to find the comics in their 20s. We're middle-aged men, or elderly to middle-aged men. You've got to find the young comics drinks still, I think. Not really, man. Really? No, it's not cool.

I'm going to cover this. in my 8 o'clock show. No, they all... They're all smoking pot at the comedy club. You go into basic... Micro-dosing. Here's the real problem. The real problem is comedy became a day job.

Now it's clips and podcasts and promotion. When we all started, you could drink fucking all day... You did a 10-minute set up until 3. And that's it. Now you've got to be a businessman. You pontificating with that hat on is quite a sight. It looks crazy. It looks like you're in the corner of an asylum right now. Here's the problem, guys.

I love that De Rosa thing. This is his idea of pontificating. I'm like, we have to work too much. He's like, hey, quit pontificating. I'm just saying we're lazy assholes is the point. Don't you agree? There's too much work. I do agree that it's a different scene.

He has also been sober. I've been sober for 40 years. He's been sober with 39. so I never drank in comedy, but I did hang out all night with everybody who did drugs and drank De Rosa, Correelli, and we used to sleep until three,

stay out all night, we stayed out until the fucking sun came up all the time, but now you can't because you've got to go do a bunch of shit during the day and do an ad read or fucking go do a podcast somewhere. It sucks. I remember one time Patrice called me at 3 p.m. And I answered the phone. And he goes, Joe, what the fuck are you doing answering the phone?

I go, what do you mean? You called me, and he goes, this is mandatory nap time. You should not be, he trashed me for being awake when he was awake. But the point was, this is like,

this, we earned this thing where we could like do whatever during the day and play video games, whatever. He said the same thing to me when I was, when I was first moved to New York,

that was the first time I never had a day job. I had five jobs in Boston. I moved to New York and I quit them all just to do stand-up. And I was waking up at three every day and I felt guilty and he was like, don't feel

guilty, man, I work my fucking ass off to be a lazy motherfucker for years to be able to do that. But now I got a fucking kid. I got to wake up in the morning, fucking be with the kid, then I got to go do a podcast and I've got to do a Zoom meeting. I can do all those bullshit that sucks because of the internet

and social media. Guys, we work really, really hard. Sometimes... But I have. I have worked really hard at writing. I'm not really funny. I have to write funny and then deliver it to you.

I'm not like... You have one of the best bits ever in comedy about the one of the best bits ever about the third world guy in prison. That I wrote. I wrote. So good. I'm not fucking Joey Diaz. I'm not Andy Andrews. Guys that are just like fucking funny

all the time just talking to them. Yeah. Especially the ones that suck on stage. that are funny all the time and then can't like pull it off on stage you probably have references of your own sitting next to you no I'm just in the same boat I got to work real hard I'm a mimic or all tree Burke Kreiser's not on his boat fucking yeah but I get that I never knew how to write like joke jokes I never wish you would write a suicide note

It would start with I just saw Rich Voss's show. And I can never be that good. Oh, thank you. That's weird, because I can smoke on stage, because when Rich Voss is talking is where I usually go out to smoke. Wow! See, this is a problem with not knowing you guys on a regular basis. basis, when I bust your balls, I feel like, oh, I'm really insulting.

No, no, not at all. It's a fucking honor to get your balls busted by you. You'd know us more if you didn't live in the middle of fucking nowhere. Who's coming to visit you? Not many people. Let me ask you a question. If I wanted to come out to your house, would you let me? It's two feet. No, they're all coming. Me, not you, not you.

Doug is... But by the way, you're full of shit about this nice guy bullshit he's doing it. Really? He's such a dicket. I called him once. I called him once. He goes, you still living in New York? And I go, no, man, I moved to Austin.

And he goes, oh, that's original. Fucking asshole. Is that not the proper response? It's a lateral move. We should do Skank Fest at your house next year. You should. Doug, you shouldn't do that. This is what I wanted to do here,

but I didn't have the balls to ask the fucking captains Louis and fucking Big J. I don't own any of my material. Anything, if you know me at all, I don't own that. Like all, no refunds, all those things.

So I'm Taylor Swifting my own act. And I'm re-learning all the, the, the, the, bits, the best of, and I want to record it, and I go, I should do this at Skankfest. But I didn't have the balls to ask. So maybe next Skank Best, because I'm re-learning all my shit. Because fucking comedy dynamics or roadrunner records or fucking the worst stand-up fucking records, they own all my shit.

So I try to put it on my YouTube channel, now that I own the means of production. and I fired management. Okay, John Fogarty. What? Good reference. Good reference. It feels like Family Feud. Okay.

Okay. Good answer. Yes. The survey said zero, but we dropped. A deep cut. And Greer, where is your special at? P. Send the trash heaps.

In the trash heaps. Dude, I don't have a special. I hate yourself. I hate yourself. I hate your self-esteem. I have to stay in this place. What? What fucking place?

I don't know me. You're one of the fucking funniest guys. Doug, can he come stay there? Yes. You know what I hate worse than your lack of confidence. What? Uh-oh. Their self-confidence that's ungrounded.

Hey, wait a minute. Talk about, who owns your shit? All the people that, where I get a big check, and they go, oh, yeah, we'll pay $125,000 for your special, for whatever, national, showtime, or whatever. And then I go, well, I don't, I got a big check. But they own it forever.

They own that special, though. They re-reactly. Exactly, that's why I want to re-record all my shit. They own that version, right? So if you have a special in Comedy Central, you could go film that exact special and you own it and then put it out and all the money goes to you

that's a different special you understand I got a special coming out you should do it I got an idea this is a great idea you should do it at Skankfest next year that's a brilliant idea what about a double bill where it's Greer and Doug

and they both no how about any one of us that has a special you don't own the rights to we do a special redub all old material well if I could get that's a good idea we do that with my material for the same reason Joe you don't read I can't repost any of my Comedy Central shit it gets flagged I get it so I'm re-recording it now that's what other people can put their your shit out thing I know it's crazy yeah but you

could still do whatever you want in clubs you could still do that in clubs right like you're dumb yes yes sending people out the clubs? Yes. Common Central is done. Don't interrupt my act, though. I'm a good actor, too. You are a very good actor.

All right, relax. This is the best way to break it down that you'll understand. There's a group of people that own everything. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Wow.

And they're only less than 3% in this country. Right? Nothing. I don't want to go into statistics. What? Nothing. I'm selling progasum magnet, refrigerator magnets after the show.

All right. No. Do you have merch, Doug? No. Oh, you have merch, right? The shirts. That's fucking merch. I remember Voss was selling the CDs.

And I walked up, I go, Dude, people don't have CD players. First of all, in BMWs, Mercedes, and Lexus. Or Oklahoma. Yeah. Why are you looking at me like that? Because I just want to hear your explanation for CD players. Nobody has them.

First of all, you don't have a car. Yes, I do. Oh, you do? Yeah. You have a car? Yeah. What kind of car? It's in storage.

I have a Ford Bronco. You have a what? I have a Fort Bronco. I have a Fort Bronco, and I have a base on Frontier. What fucking coattails are you on? It's called success. No, it's not. It's called, it's not yours.

It's called Shane Gillis. It's called I did a podcast with Sal Volcano for two years. And that's all it really took. I'm posted now. What's Sal doing now? Yeah, what happened to? I don't know. I don't talk to him anymore.

I'm done. Sal Volcano. Wow. He should be here. I don't know why he's not. here. I wish he was here. You know why he's not here. He's got some image to protect. The good thing is Sal Volcano

didn't say he is coming here and then not show up. Ooh. Wow. I'm here now. No, no. That was a Shane Gillis reference. Oh. Shane's here. He's here. He's here. He's still blew off the fucking 2 o'clock show.

He's here now? He's here. Oh, yeah, he always comes. We just did story wars. Smoked his ass. I beat you. He needs to be brought down a level. Let's go, go.

I beat you. Yeah, you beat me. Little, little... Thank you. I let the audience do the talk of it. Now, strategy is not fucking cheating. Not cheating. It was not cheating.

I just waited for dummy to make his move. And then I made my move. Strategy. I'm doing story wars with a tell. And Ron Bennington were listed on the schedule. And the next day I looked, Atel was not on it. And it was just me and Ron Bennington. And I'm like, did Atel bail out?

He passed away. You didn't know that. Oh, he's dead. Like three weeks ago. You got to move out of Arizona. We had a whole thing, we had a whole thing for him. It's just really bugs me about Story Wars, too. Why?

Because I've done it 87 times in the basement of the stand. And then the one that counts, they don't fucking have me doing. You know why? Yeah. I know why. Why? You know why. Lewis?

No, you're not fucking a star. No, it's true. It's true. It's true. It's the same way. I've done it all the time. Somebody bailed out, want to run down to the fucking stand from Westchester? You go down and do it.

You have a great time. You think you killed it. And then they do these big events. Whant, wah, wah. And they have famous people on it. That is really always the way. Well, they had Joe on it. Shane Gillis came to my house during COVID.

It stayed for a month, and one time we were doing a late-night drunk-dialing. Who's the most famous person in your phone? That we get drunk-dialed. And I drunk-dialed Andrew Yang. Because Shane Gillis had Andrew Yang, had, defended him about the whole kerfuffle and he goes, I won't dial it, but I'll give you his number. I still have Andrew Yang's number.

Call him right now. But, uh... Oh, Andrew Yang! The point of this is now, Shane Gillis, five years later, is the most famous guy I have in my friend. So we'll try Andrew Yang and then we'll try Shane Gillis. That's Shane. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Joe de Rosa, right at the time. There's Andrew Yang. Is he in finance, been eating? He did not answer then. He did not answer then, he will not answer now. Straight to voicemail. Straight to voicemail. Andrew Yang, you're at Skankfest,

and you did not answer. All right, well now, Shane Gillis will also not answer. Call him a little busted-ass fucking phone. Here we go. I can call Danny. Shane Gillis will probably be in the back of the room and yell out.

I'm not taking your call. Shane will pick up. He'll pick up for Doug. Three rings is not a good sign. You should have Voss call him. Wow. Who did I? Boss, call Shane.

Who did Shane call from here? Hang on. That night that we were doing drug dials, famous people, the only person only person. He won because you answered. He's calling. Sorry. She's calling you back. All right.

Oh, he's calling. Hey, Shane. I was just telling the folks here on the Bobby Kelly podcast you know what, dude. How we were calling how we were doing

the drunk dialed famous people in your phone. And I drunk dialed Andrew Yang and he didn't answer and I go well now the most famous person in my phone is you so he tried Andrew Yang and he did not answer

and then we tried you and you did not answer I answered I tried to answer yeah well you failed but the only person the person what's that I'm going to come find you We're in the We're in the

We're in the Nickknack room doing Bobby Kelly's podcast right now I'll be a guy All right If Joe, he has His staff go grab him

A staff Go grab him So the only person That Look at the whole fucking staff Just got up to Shane I walked in

They didn't even fucking move I walked in The guy didn't Let me in the fucking room It's like fucking the president's coming, you piece of shit. Shane Gillis won the battle of Hul,

but Joe DeRosa was one of the people that picked up Shane's call. And I'm like, that's not really famous. Oh, that's fair. I get it. The only person that answered my call, and we're going to call him now. Come he, Joe? No. He changed his number after the trial. I haven't spoken to him

in five years. You weren't a list of people's lawyers said, distance yourself. No, no, hang on. Fuck, do I not have his phone number anymore? Pauly Shore, I don't have his number. I got Polly's number. All right.

Paulie Shore was the only famous person that answered my call in the middle of the night during COVID. I don't have a... I don't have it. Shane Gillis, everybody. We're all moving. God damn, damn, I'm that fat.

We need another chair. Make a lot of room. No, Joe, no, no, go anywhere. Joe, don't leave. Yeah, yeah. No, stay up here. Yeah, just get another chair. It's a can't be sold out.

You cock, suck. I got it. I got it. I got it. Where are you? We got the chair, Doug. Doug. Somebody tell Doug we got more chairs.

I need three. We have the chair. Yeah, just in case. This has been a real mean panel. Oh, I believe it. Yeah. This is a hot one. This is a bad one. Where are you going?

Doug, go over there. No, I wanted to get a chair, but you need me to it. So, I wanted to know. I had a famous person in my phone once. I didn't mean that to be funny. Was it Dane? No, no, not Dane. I had Captain America. I did a show.

That's not a real person. Dude, I had fucking Batman in my phone. Dude, me and Spider-Man were friends, dude. Dude, you didn't fucking know me when I knew Clack Kent. It was... But Chris Evans, I did a show, and I wound up talking to his mom after the show. She was like, you were so funny. You know, she's from Boston.

You're so funny. I was just shooting the shit, making her laugh. I'm looking over. There's a kid next to me with a beard laughing, just enjoying it. And as I'm talking to her, I look over, and my brain goes, oh shit, that's Captain America. And then he grabs me and we start talking. He's like, dude, fucking, you got to take my number.

He's like, take my number, man. We've got to hang out. And I was like, okay, and I took his number, and that night I texted him. And then he looked at you and said, look, North America. Fuck, I miss it. What did you say? They all missed it. Hang on the second. I'll set you up again, Voss. I said, look, it's Captain America.

And he looked at you and said, look, North America. It's probably a legend. This unbelievable shit. you called a fat guy a continent it's honestly as good as it gets Rich to the John Fogany line again Richie, Rich is the best and the worst in one comic

Boss, who's your favorite director? This is Albert Hitchcock. You pussy? Shut up, dickhead. Duck, there's a bird. I'm going to go home and watch fucking birds They're referencing an argument we had in a bar Where Shane said, Who Do You Think the Greatest Director?

No, no, no, I would never ever ask that You brought it up out of nowhere I do not No, no, I'll tell you how it started You were like, Patrice used to make fun of me First of all, that's how you got in there I would never be in a bar and go, Yo, do you think the greatest director?

Yes, first You'd be better than that. But I was just telling the story of when Patrice wound me on. because I said I thought Alfred Hitchcock was great. Yeah, you said, he was sitting there going, Patrice used to make fun of me because I said Albert Hitchcock

was the greatest director of all time. No, no, it was just... And me and Voss are sitting there going, yeah, dude, that's gay as fuck. Yes. And then he goes, who do you think's better here? Quentin Tarantino? Yeah, by a million miles.

Fucking Brian DePama's better. You're fucking asshole. And he's going to... Oh, shut up, you Jew. That loser? Did it back in the title? Name a great Jewish director. I don't know.

Spielberg. They're all the best. Oh shit, actually. Yeah, wasn't you an idiot? You're still in softball? I'm somebody would direct you to an oven. I wish somebody would direct you to an oven. Yeah.

David. David. There you go. Name a good hour that's still alive. If they put you in an oven, it wouldn't work. You'd talk. and put up the flames. This has been a mean, a real mean,

YKW. I like it, I like it. It's a mean one's fucking with Greer. Now, Greer's nice, man. No, Greer will fucking kill you. Yeah. Greer's not talking to any shit at all. Greer knows old black New York kung fu.

join it man and I'm high so is there really free groceries now is that snapchat if there is rich is moving back are the free if they were free groceries I'm sure you'd be there yes the Jews are gonna tunnel right in We're going to tunnel. We don't tunnel. Yes, you do. We blow them up. What are you talking about?

We're talking about. We all watched the news and saw 700 wizards crawl out of the fucking sewage. What is the fuck are you talking? What are you talking? DeRosa. He saw her spot. He's killing you.

No, he's not. He's home in you. This is the drinking side of the table, by the way. He's talking about one tunnel in Brooklyn. You guys got a whole level country of tunnels. I don't know. I think that might have been a little excuse you guys were using. What's that?

Every single school that blew up, you go, fucking tunnel under there. Fucking keep tunneling under all these hospitals. The old Jewish tunnel drink. Oh, this war shooting in on you, boss. Oh, I'm going to team it up. I can't, I can't, mate, DeRose is killing you. He killed.

I never thought I'd see this. You only think that because you weren't here for the John Fogarty line. Do it. Do it again. Fogurty! Fogurty! Fogurty! Fogurty! I'll be honest.

When he said the Fogarty line, I didn't know what he was talking about. It's a great mind. It's not something I said, so I thought I was the failure. No. You got that. Taylor Swift, yes. It was a good...

Was everybody coming out of me? I don't own this festival. Oh, classic. Fucking is really... Yeah. Everyone's attacking me. Oh, God. Holy fuck.

You're so funny. I'm fucking happy. Alfred Hitchcock wrote him that. Albert Hitchcock sucks, dude. Fuck you. You know what? Fuck Alfred J. Hitchcock, but fuck Rich Vaugh. Oh, you blew it.

You had all the momentum. You had all the momentum and you got greedy. No, I'm just reading the crowd. They went, ah. He's such a. Not our guy anymore. Turn on Joe. Turn on Joe.

Turn on Joe. Turn on Joe. Turn on Joe. Turn on Joe. boss you're gonna let dog walk you like this I got him off throughout the podcast he he deserved that hey why don't you bring up Patrice again

bring him up he didn't like you no that's true he didn't like you okay Patrice call me at three nobody gives the fuck okay when we go ahead that's enough that's it that's all my god can I mention my claim to fame can I mention my claim to fame

was I was a co-host with the great Joe Rogan on the man show. And we had to audition before they knew who the new host. Patrice and I and all these guys, there were 10 comics and we had to audition. Like, okay, you're going to be with Dane Cook and you guys audition together as the new host. And when Patrice and I had to audition, he goes, I don't work well with other people.

Like, we had to do, like, write out monologues. He's like, can you get to these endings quicker? No, I'm going to go back to shutting up. God damn, nasty motherfucker. That's a great story. Being a co-host auditioning going, I don't work well with other people? I don't work well with other people. That's great. Come on, give me.

I was, I've never been more afraid of a comic, Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neill could shut you down so easily. Like, they could be so brutal. I've never been more afraid of being on the wrong side of Patrice, who I didn't really know. He's so, he's so mad, you said, Norton? I know. By the way, boss loves Doug so much.

I've been so many car rides with boss where I'm like, it was your favorite comedian. Every single time, number one. God, Dan Hope. But wait, that's where I was going with this. That's where I was going with this. I'm so out of your loop. I don't know you guys enough to bust your balls. Except you're doing good.

You've been to the house. You've been to the house. You've turned on me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But with our friends, but you are such a. easy target. I've never felt bad about busting your ball. It doesn't bother me. Never meet your heroes. Never meet your heroes.

He's right. You're like a concert in a field. A real easy target. That's, I don't see it. That's it right there, you guys. I'm against that. That part's not funny. That was terrible. It's fucked up. Ha ha, ha, you're, you're, you're, oh fuck. I know you were gonna fuck it. You broke floss.

Are you happy? You broke him. You didn't break me. I will say, Stanhope will turn on you. I know I've seen podcasts. It's so funny. Me and Doug, I lived with Doug for a month during COVID. I just drove down there.

Me and him were drinking for a month. But every once in a while we'd be drinking, it'd start getting late and he would just look at you and go, you fat piece of shit. But no, no, when Sam Talon was there. Me and Sam and he would just All of a sudden, they're wearing his shorts. I was like, why are you wearing fucking tight bicycle shorts?

Like, they're doing the tour to France, you fucking asshole. The witching hour would hit, and all of a sudden, Doug would just turn in the stool. It was like, you two fat freaks. Me and Sam Talon were like, oh. But that's what I thought was Paul Bus. No, it was funny. Wow, you were so bad. That's why I won't do a roast

Because it would just be I fucking hate your face You'll just turn to you and go You're fat and ugly is disgusting You'd go back to watch a TV I'm at his house This is crazy The next morning you're out on his porch

And he's like, here's your breakfast This is what you did to me During COVID Because we couldn't watch sports There was no sports So he goes let's watch like we're watching

Boise State Oklahoma So he goes Oh yeah He never saw it I was like Wait did you see this fucking This seven fucking overtime game

He goes Let's watch this And then It goes into seven Overtimes And then he goes And then this team wins I was like

When do you see this Statue of Liberty Boise State's about to win And he was like You fat motherfucker Get that fuck out of my half And I'm the bad guy guy.

Spoiler alert. Seven hours. Let's get back to DeRosu. Dog walking boss. This is crazy. You weren't here the whole podcast. Second half, he's going nuts.

His eyes popped out. It was scaring me. I never seen you that excited. Well, when he calls you to Alaska. And now, Do you feel bad that Bert took Joe from you on the cruise? No, no, that's fine.

I love it. You okay with that? Who's going to iron your clothes? What are you doing next weekend? Don't. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Uncle Vinnie's. This might be me, but it's funny.

by my manager when I was like I asked people to open and she goes fucking Dave Attell said Hope cancel any date he wants to go on the road with you and I was like give him every single date And then she calls me back goes that was Rich Ball How many how did I go How many days did you give him? I know I said you got everybody

I was there two Three I did three I would cancel my daughters giving birth. I like when the three of us go on the road. It was a lot of fun. We had a good time. Good matches. I walked into Chappelle's into that shack. That was insane. The way you two

abandoned me. I know. So they're on the road with me. We go to Chappelle's. I was like, you guys want to come with me to Chappelle's. I'm going to go there before we go on the road. They walk into Chappelle's like they don't, they've never seen me in their lives. They walk straight past me to be like, Dave, Dave, Dave. No, no. First of all, I got photos. I'll show you the photos.

I'll show you the photos. We knew the fucking guy already. Don't make it sound like we didn't know him at all. Don't make me see this. Listen, first of all, I walked in there, I walked in there and Shane goes, don't tell him you're pro-Israel. And I go, don't tell him you're a Trump fan. No, I'm not.

No, you don't wear the fucking chain. No, I hit it there. What are you kidding me? Tuck that in. Shane made you tuck it in like good fellas? I tucked it in. Are you kidding me? And I threw out all my pork. No, going on the road with Shane

was the best time I've ever had on the road that weekend was the fucking... We can't talk about it. Was it better than when I went on a tour bus with Dane Cook and Torgasm? A little bit. A little bit. It was better. than playing mini golf in the afternoon.

Yeah, I'm not a big activities guy. No, no, no, but at night, after the shows will fucking... That's what I'm going to do something. That was fun, but you know what? I got to... Can I say something? You bullied me out on the poker. See, you're a bully too. You kept... Yeah, I am, man. We were playing a poker.

Who do you think I learned it from? Doc. I learned it from you, Dad. We were playing poker, and then you kept going, come on, let's go, let's go, let's bet, let's bet. The money that we were playing is actual, I could pay a bill with that. But to you, it's like, here, take that. You were like, let's go, let's go, come on. And I was like, all right, I just want to, I don't want to, I don't want to prolong things.

But that was, you, that was a trick. You were trying to fucking win. No, well, yeah. We were in, we were in Vegas, the first night. You were playing blackjack. Okay. And you won. Okay.

you were winning big you were winning big I can I can say the number right here you he won 13 grand at the table 18 grand to table 18 grand to table and I walk up I go he goes he turns to me he goes

this is nuts I won 18 grand it's about time I caught a break in this fucking life meanwhile I lost 200 and I thought I was going to miss my rent that night I handed the next day I gave that money to my dad it was cash because he showed up to bed

I almost mugged your dad for that money my dad I go here here you go it was a stack like that it was straight cash 18 grand I hand it to my dad he goes just put it in this box I was like say thanks the best was the best we went back to the tables with your dad and you didn't have any cash on

you lost a little bit you had and you go dad give me a hundred and he's like And I was like, oh, I see how the shit rolls downhill with this fucking guy. God damn it. I got to wrap this up. We're going to get the fuck out of here. Oh, boo. It just started.

No, guys, the comedy jam is about that. Grab another beat. What's a comedy jam? Comedy jam. Who's next in the room? Can we stay? I don't know. I told me we're going to get out of here.

Fucking nude roast, pat. Can we stay? All right, fuck it. We're going to stay. We can. Can I get a white claw? We're going to need a winner here. I feel like if Joe won the first half.

I won the first half. Joe killed me to say. Yeah. No, we really went out for Joe. It's one-one. It's one-one. But Joe had help. Yeah.

Fuck off. Are you drinking a third beer? Yeah. Thank you. And you've only been here for like 50 minutes. Are you okay? This is only two. That one was pretty empty.

We're worried about your. you're drinking thanks dog we're worried that was nothing that happened that was the only thing that happened at Chappelle I'm sorry I've been drinking since

the show that you didn't show up for at 2 p.m. He didn't show up for that Bonney and Farland didn't show up for Oh was I was that missing? Evan Smith didn't show up for the other one I had to cover

I canceled that I for the record I canceled that a while ago they fucked that up I yeah somebody called me It was like, we got to move your flight up to make the 2 p.m. Hotel lobby show. You let them book your flight?

Like, no. I'm a control freak. I would never let anyone. Right now, I'm supposed to be judging the Miss Skankfest pageant. And let me tell you, no. No shot. They're like, yo, it's live streaming.

I was like, oh, that would be good. Me car. Yeah, nice tits, you ugly wharf bitch. See? That's what I do. Would you say I'm an angry drunk? That's what I would be as a judge. Fuck you.

I thought we were back on Joe here. How about personality and no tits? Say something funny, cunt. Hey, boss, open this for me with your teeth. Oh, that's all you... You're better with food than me. It's not food, dumb, dumb. Well, you can make you food.

That was the other thing at Chappelle's when we went to do the show. I went up to Shane before the show. And I go, fuck, man. He goes, have a drink. I go, I've already had two, dude. I don't know if I should have a third before I go on. And he goes, I've had 18 beers today.

But it's his fucking show. Yeah. Yeah. So he can do what he wants. You're the opener. And you do what he tells you. Yeah. You're the opener.

And you're the opener here. Thank you. I got to go. Oh, no. Get back here. You sit down. You follow orders. Now, if you want money in Vegas, how much would you ascend to Hamas?

What's that? You hurt me. Don't talk about hummus in front of Bobbi. He's going to relapse. I've lost a lot of weight. But not enough. You're fat, too. Bobby, Bobby, it's my least favorite thing he does.

Yeah, I know. His nasty ass will talk about my physique. Yeah. you're gross yeah fuck you dude yeah fuck you dude now

first of all we can get Joe Joe we can get into shape you're just a shape you can win the best tit concert

tonight I'm tired I just flew in burn the language Jesus fucking Christ, man Honestly Fogarty was great

How did you What was the Loverty joke Rich had a brilliant reprude in time Fogarty had to fight to get the rights to his own music back in 1985

You remember Crowd went fucking nuts Thank you In his defense I did have a run-on thing about how I'm going to re-record all my shit Oh and he said

And then we lost all this stuff. John Fawkes- Swiffed with... The boss has been killing start to finish. First of all. Stop saying first of all. There's never a second. Yeah, there's never a second or a third.

Your brain can't hold two thoughts. Joe, he can't say second. You can barely say first. Don't even get him to say third. We'll be fucking soaked. Oh, this is good stuff. It's nothing like the 2 p.m. show that you missed. That 2 p.m. show must have been nuts.

Three out of six people missed it. Boss, Bonnie. Boss missed it? Bonnie was fucking someone. It wasn't me. I know. I saw him, and they're not white. Uh-oh.

Creator. Yeah. Sam Talent showed up, and he crushed you. Yeah. Sam Talent is the next few. Yeah, I guess we don't see. Why, is he also an alcoholic? Whoa, there go, you're dates.

No, I was talking about him. There goes, you're a date, dumbass. Jay, give him a nickname, you piss of shit. Why? You have a nickname? Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow. I get me, I gave me a fair warning several times. I said, don't do it.

You get you one more a second. I know. I was at the dojo comedy, and I fucking, the first five minutes of my set, I did a joke, it crushed, and I heard, Slug. Slug's the tough one. I've actually grown fond of it. Yeah, it's nice. What's your nickname? What is it?

It's not a real nickname. It's not a real nickname. But... Forget it. It's actually the moose. Moose. Moose is loose. Moose is loose. Moose is loose. That's a good one. I'm just listening

I'm looking at you you love him dude you're obsessed with him you're obsessed with Joe you're obsessed with the Rosalie I got to get him we gotta hurry up it's like three minutes

on the clock whoever whoever gets the other person next wins honestly it's like the 12th round of a boxing match he need to knock out this round first of all

Joe can dance Joe can get away No, no, no, no. He came out and good, it's just the problem. There's a couple ten-eights. When fewer and fewer of us are drunks, then we become like, oh, we'll pick on the drunks. Yeah. We're drunks.

Yeah. You're the sober. Yeah. Fuck me are sober. You guys suck. You guys are way more successful. I'll get on. He lost Sam Talon.

He's sober, too. Stop drinking. A bunch of four bitches down. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm ashamed now. Yeah. You know what?

You're just, you're just copying Tom Dusting. I've been waiting for a list relapsed, too. I'm patiently waiting for this. I remember when you drank, you were a wild kid, dude. Look on the sad and strangers right now that we're going to relapse. I need a list relapse. I need a soda relapse. I never got to see soda.

Oh, dude, I saw it. It was great. Soda was a big kisser. He'd kiss you on the face. Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. This is going to cost us $40.

I heard we're relapsing. Sit on Joe's lap. I don't really have a lap. I follow the money. Litz went true sober. Sodor still smokes weed. Liss went true sober. Like nothing. I'm true.

Karen, I got to tell you. People say... I'm sorry. Here's a thing that's my way. I'm just going to say this chair was already hanging on by a threat. That's a real risk. No, you can just replace him. Here's what bothers me about your sobriety Joe has bigger tits than Karen

Here's Oh my God Karen's ass is fucking ridiculous Her ass, her tits are hanging out of her fucking shirt right now Raven, Karen The whole lot This is what bothers me about your sobriety You got sober when you were like 14

That doesn't count I got sober when I was 15 Yeah, no, this is This is the bullshit with Rich Boss Oh, here we go I said, 39 years sober, that just means you don't drink. Oh, I don't get high. I don't smoke crap.

I gamble. I gamble. We have Shane Gillis and Karen dressed like this. We're going to break down y'all's sobriety. At some point, you have to just say, oh, yeah, I don't do that. You don't use it as an award. Wait, 30 years of all. Wait, wait, you're giving tips on sobriety?

Shut the fuck up. I would be dead. if I was still getting high. Yeah, so get high, please. Joe, Joe! Joe! Go! Go!

Go! Go! He's wobbling. Those are the rules. I win. You set the rules. I win. DeRoso.

The raining. Defending. I did DMT once. Ladies and gentlemen, and I have been off the new. Since 2004. Four. All right. We're going to wrap this up. Get fucking on me.

All right. I'll start. You guys, I want to thank you. I have to piss. So I'll start by Lee. Joe Liss. Don't stand home. Joe DeRose. Rearvart. Vince Foss. I'm Robert Kelly.

You guys are the best. Have a great night. Take care.