Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #616 | How You Jewin' | Lil Mo Mozzarella & Daniel Geneen

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

An Italian and a jew walk into a podcast studio and things get wild Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Get your fix with Zippix Toothpicks! Save 10% by using code DUDE at http://ZippixToothpicks.com today. Must be 21+ Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat Frames at https://on.auraframes.com/YKWD Promo Code YKWD Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome, everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact. The YKWD podcast.

YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, to help you ruining this. Brickwarkana, man. I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast.

This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. What's up, everybody? It's Robert Kelly, and I'm back on, you know what, dude, above the comedy seller at the World Famous Comedy Seller.

We got a good show for you tonight. I'm not going to get into too much stuff because Danny told me you don't want to hear it. Right, Danny? I said what? You said they don't want to hear stuff at the beginning. gang on the show. No, that's not what I said. What did you say?

I said, when you tell someone, do you have punch up and they say, no, you don't want to he said, don't mention punchup. Live. I said, don't mention it. That's not what I said. I said, you don't need to pitch comedians to sign up for Punch Up live on the podcast. I'm on it. Okay.

Anyways. He's still trying to figure with any of the mobiles in this kid. Danny, who do? Danny, let me know when you figure it out. Danny, what do we got on the show? Who do we got tonight? We have Lil Moe Mazzarella, and we have Dan Janine. How you don't?

What's up, guys? What's happening? I couldn't have two of the opposite fucking dudes on tonight, which is hilarious to me. Yeah, you got a pet vibe. A pet vibe. Yeah, like a cat. You know, like, he's a cool guy to have around. You ain't got a nickname?

You just go by your comment, like your royal real name? I just go by my name. We can suck on you, gotto. Got, okay. You need a fucking name. That means cat. I got it. Okay.

Because the best thing to do is to get a nickname because, then people keep you around, you know? Yeah, what's your nick? That's why I'm, that's why I'm never around. Little Mo Mo. Mo, Marlorella. I have a black guy named me that. What?

Yeah, black guy named me that. How did that happen? You know how like, like, so what happened was I didn't have Instagram and, and then, like, you guys like, yo, you're funny, you should have Instagram. And my follow calls me Mo. It's like a nickname, you know, like, little Mo, Mo, Mo. What's your real name? Mock.

Mark? Yeah, but I grew up in a real Italian name, so nobody called me by my name, you know? They called you something else. Yeah, Mo. Like, little, hey, Mo, Mo. My real cool friend's calling my name So what happened was I didn't have my Instagram So Little Mo was taken

And some black kids like Yo man you gotta sound more Italian He's like try Fettuccini Little Mo Linguini And then Little Mo Mo Mozilla was available Then even like in Spike Lee do the right thing The guy goes You know put a little more mozzarella on that shit

Right And so I got the name Stop talking to him so much talk to me Sorry I don't want to fuck I actually was curious if I was going to hear of it I don't give him I don't care Oh is that how we supposed to do it

No No no no no you talk to him Well, maybe he sees me like a cat Like he wants to win me over No, I'm trying to win you over, bro No, I like Gotto We'll call you Gottberg I'm just saying like

See, I know I hear you I'm so not a nickname guy I grew up blue collar Yeah And when you work in a truck Yeah, when you work in a truck Yeah, when you work in a truck You want to keep your job

Me too You don't learn to trade You get a nickname So they keep you around I want to where you from originally Well, I'm originally from Williamsburg, Brooklyn Okay But I live in Middle Village

I just spent five hours in a car Going through all the shit from Brooklyn, the Bronx, all the mobsters, all the, I mean, murder ink, all the way to, you know, fucking, um, uh, the, the, the, the, the Columbo's, I mean, every mom, they did a whole thing. Who is the, who's the, who's the, the, the goat mob guy, who is a, you know, but like a podcast. Well, no, I listened to like 15 of them on the way home. I just got fucking trapped in this. In a rabbit hole.

In anticipation of this? No. No. Okay. Okay. a guy, there's a rabbit hole I'm in, there's a rabbit hole I'm in of this band that sucks, and I don't know if they're AI, and I dove into it hard. I think you got a clip, right? Yeah, it's just, I don't know,

it's this guy. He's doing his own producing. Off tune Filipino guys, and, um, they like, they're crazy. Like, they're like, like, my heart and soul is broken and I'm not over it. And then they drop and it's like, it's crazy. I think they're fake. No, they are. Look. I don't know if they're real. Like, this can't be a real person. Let me hear this. Watch.

Can you, like, flip through their page a little? Now, why? Why she's kidding back? Watch. Look how he's, like, he's reping. This is fake, but is real. This is real. Wait, go through another one.

He asked mad. This is like if we started a band. Dude, he's banging. And he was the lead singer. I got, though. This broke in. Yeah, this is 100% real thing. Danny would be the drama for his band.

That's a Filipino guy with a fucking Jewish friend. That's all that is. Well, wait, there's one more guy. I'm addicted. Watch, why he cries. So you like mob shit. I'm into this. Yeah.

This is my shit. Buddy, I'm into weird shit too, dude. Dude, I mean, I like, I want to see him. Danny, pick up, get the Chinese hairdresser. Dude, I watch Asians old day to wait a fold. I don't know what you mean by a Chinese hairdresser. I'm going to finish my sentence. Chinese hairdresser, no, Chinese, it's a, uh, also Zach's looking it up.

All right, listen, stupid. Just fucking look it up. Stop fucking interrupting me. I'm sorry. I apologize. Oh, he started is, you know, I get it. He started it. Danny, it's, oh, Zach, I'm sorry, producer Danny.

No, Danny's doing it now, actually. Danny, are you... What part of Canada are you from? The fucking... Ottawa? From Toronto. Oh, you're from Toronto. I'm trying.

Look up. No. There's a lot of tango. Listen to me. Look at my finger. Focus over here. The, uh... The fuck, it's a...

He does hair dye, Chinese, and sings. Just type that in. He'll come up. He's like the number one hair-diest... In China. In Hollywood. He dies like... He comes up with his own buddy.

has songs, and he makes his own videos, and it's fucking ridiculous. How about the guys that do their hair and they make the knuckle sounds like it's like an Indian barber? What? You ever see that guy? No. How much time do you have on your hands? My job is to do this thing.

What did you do before you did this? My last job? Yeah. I was in a high-rise business. I ran mechanical, electrical, and plumbing trades. You were in a trade? I was originally an HVAC guy. That's good money.

That was good money, yeah. I was, I'm a big gambler, so I lost it all. And then I went to, I got a job managing that. And I went to, I was worked in the engineering department and design. So you're a gambler. What's your craps? Craps originally, but then I realized I wasn't a professional. I thought I was a professional gambler.

Right. Like I would like go every week with a certain amount of money. And I did that for about 10 years. I aged like 20-something years. And then when it became legal-like, it lost the, like, loss for me. like you know whatever you want to say right and but but i recently just went through a binge you did yeah but now i'm going to gambles an honor yeah yesterday was my first day no shit yeah but i didn't the first time i went to ga it was 1997 when it started

yeah bobby it's not we're not finding it based on that i started it jack look better asian hair what all this fucking a i he can't figure it out Dude, I'll find it in five seconds. I can find it so easy. And I'm 55. I got a funny backstory with Limo, actually. I bet you got a funny backstory.

Oh, me? I mean, not really. No, not personal, but I worked at Eater for many years. And at Eater, everyone's like really cynical about anyone talking about food and being an influencer. And so everyone was like looking at, I mean, very early on looking at your shit. Yeah. And I was like, no, this guy's actually pretty funny. Yeah.

I never cared about food. Yeah, yeah. I think that people thought I cared about food. The truth is is that. during a pandemic they were saying everybody was fucked up and then their business

is going to go out and I wasn't trying to be a hero I just wanted to hit like the spots that I really wanted to go to like that I liked you know I used to go to lunchinettes

yeah like you know me my father worked in a van we would go to the fonties and shit like so I wanted to hit them up and it really was just to pump up the people who worked there like I went in there

to break their balls yeah did you have like a big following or did you get one from that I got one from that. So I started in a pandemic. But like, I think that... Yes, that's him.

I'm not a person that went viral. Like, that's not my story. You know, like, I really, like, worked it. You know what I'm saying? But how did you... Listen, dude. Not for nothing. You...

You like that, right? Yeah, I like that. Well, it seems like you were really ramping up to something. Yeah. Not for nothing. Yeah. But you seem like a fucking average dude, regular, like you said, blue-collar guy.

How did you learn? about the fucking Instagram. How did you learn about... Dude, it happened like... Did you do it yourself? Did you have a guy like him falling down with a Sony camera? I did everything myself.

I did everything myself. The timing, you can't make up the environment. The environment. It's a Canadian gay? That's a Fanoi. You're a Gato Fanoi. You're not a full Finoque, but you go for... I was doing a Finoch.

That real camera. Click the MIR. Is that a video? Click a video. Oh my God. All right, this guy. Oh, click the video. That's real? No, that's not, click the song video, fucking.

I don't want to see his stupid shit. You know what? He's happy, bro. Yeah, that's exactly. He pays for this shit, though. Listen. How does he pay for it? He's the top tear dyes in the world, dude.

I mean, these days, you could get Danny on an F. Sony FX and do this. Yeah. We should make Danny a superstar singer. You could do it, bro. Danny, Joe, and Zach. Because, you know, like, people who have something wrong with them do better on TikTok. Buddy, this guy believes in this song.

It's a fact, dude. He believes in this song. Look at his little gloves he's got on. That could have been a theme song for Lost Boys. You wouldn't even know the difference. You know what I mean? That would have been the lost book. It does a movie.

It belongs in a movie. So he really, this guy really does the top. But look at his fucking, it looks like the dogs, like they're first cousins and had a kid. Look at that dog. Look at, look at the video right there with the fucking shirt. Zach right there Look at this I don't think we should keep playing music

Cause I'm like a fucking Maple Leaf You think we're gonna get sued from this guy's song It's not fucking the stones If it's public then it could be All right, listen But let's look at let's let's let let you think Is his counts are real? Yeah

Like you think 301 Because he's a guy that people follow To see this stuff Yeah Like he's a guy That people like I have to see this fucking right Bro the craziest shit ever Is that he wrote here

educator the fuck is that and it says foodie music artist ting talk that's the same thing danny has on his so let me ask a question get back to that thing yeah so you you you you wound up going into the thing but how'd you get this because you got a character you kind of have right yeah yeah like that was like always my personality that's you yeah yeah i mean it's like embellished but it's me right yeah i i i changed my mood right so i basically used to just act like that like to get shit done on a job right so like for instance like if I go on a job site people are miserable I'd try to get through today make so you walk in he's working on the job and you see that face what would you do hey I say what's up Dickstein yeah

you know like I just fucking say something to make people laugh to get through a day because none of us want to that that felt that felt Jewish nobody you know I'm like oh I'm like oh I'd be like how you're doing you know how you're doing you know how you're doing How are you Jewing? How you doing? How you Jewish? Do you ever walk into a Jewish deli and go, how are you Jewish? No, I did it on stage, but...

Hey man, this is just a regular deli. Oh, you Jewish? What? No, I just work at Gatsas. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. You're not Italian. You're from Toronto.

What else is there there? Well, I don't know if you're... Are you being flattering? I know about Toronto. Yeah, yeah. I got a big following it. I'm infinitely Jewish. And, but I...

I will say, it's a great... Did you liberate? yourself and throw the amica because you are am one on. Well, yeah, I took it off before here because I don't, I make him take it. I don't wear it to podcast, but I, uh, no, I can all, I typically only try to talk about this with Jewish people, but if, if you tell a Jew that they don't look Jewish, I feel like that's a great compliment. So thank you. Really? Yeah. I just feel like there's so many levels of it. Thank you. You know, I try to learn it. You could be nerdy Italian. Thank you.

I'll take it off. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You could be a Persian retard. Okay. Cool. Thank you. Thank you. You Persian? No, no. Don't step on my carpet. Satisfying your nicotine craving any time, any place with zip picks, toothpicks. Zip picks, toothpicks are nicotine and flavored infused. Try sweet whiskey, peppermint, watermelon, or mocha, available with either two or three milligrams of nicotine.

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afternoon. Zip picks have already helped hundreds of thousands of customers get their nicotine fix. Get some nicotine infused toothpicks today at zippicks.com. Get 10% off your first order by using code dude at checkout. That's code dude at checkout. Zip picks toothpicks.com to get 10% off your first order. Must be 21 or older. Warning, Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Zip picks more smoke. Zip more, smoke less with zip picks, nicotine, toothpicks. I had a girl after show come up to me and asked me if I was Moroccan recently.

Yeah, you could, because it all, you guys... Yeah, it's all kind of hodgepodge. It's all that same thing. Yeah. The little, you know, the 5 o'clock shadow right after you shave. So are you the dark mean, Jewish guy, or the... Not the white white... Sir Ashkenazi, yeah, yeah.

That's respectable. They got all the money. No, Syrians got money. Money floated to the north. I didn't know there was dark meat Jewish. Ashtanasi and Sephardic. Sephardic. Sephardic is the dark?

Sephardic is the... It's the Middle East. That's like the ones over there. Yeah, the ones that are over there. I got, I mean, I don't want to, like, double down so I can make fun of you. And I have a lot of Jewish friends. Come on, let it go. But I do have a lot of Jewish friends.

You know? I used to work with a lot of Jewish guys, and the way they do business is funny because it's, like, whiny. You know what I mean? Like, like, they'll be like, when you're trying to do business. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, I believe. Yeah.

It's true. No, no. And I used to deal with them all the time. Right. So, like, I would go to the table and shit and they'd be like, why you're having soda? It's not good for you. Yeah. And then I'm like, yeah, but this is good for you.

What you do to me? Like, I need fucking Cedron. Sure. To get through his deal. Yeah. You know what I'm Italian. So I don't really worry about this shit. You've been making believe you Jewish all the time.

I fooled you. I got you. I got you. That's funny, man So you wind up doing this thing You want to do this thing So let me tell you what it is real quick So what happened is I fucking

I always had that person And I go on the job We broke balls That's how we got through the day Because we had hard work I dragged boilers down in basements So I was like construction site Funny

My boss When I left my business My father And I got a job with With a high-rise company My boss had all these geeky guys Working there From MIT

And all the shit and he was like all right these guys are great for the optics but they don't get nothing done you know what I mean like this guy yeah yeah so I actually became their boss so I had like 15 nerdy dudes that worked for me right I have four working for right so I would break their fucking balls all day and when the pandemic happened I didn't even know what the fuck the shit was I was trying to call out sick like just to not go to work and then my boss answered my email and was like don't worry about it there's a pandemic and I was in a studio with what's what these guys I was doing like ad libs like funny talking like you know new yorker yeah and um and then we found it was a pandemic but everybody that was out the studio was like yo what's your i g and i'm like i don't have that because my wife thinks everybody just bangs each other on you're married yeah you got kids three you got three kids yeah i got three kids yeah i got three kids you got one kid one kid nice god bless thanks by you too yeah hang on one second we're talking like older guy's shit you'll have a kid soon she got to keep busting yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean

I've got to keep swimming through the Red Sea. Keep swimming to Red Sea. I like that. Thank you. You have any unleavened bread or whatever that's called? I'm hungry. So, yeah, so I fucking... I'm hungry.

I'm hungry. This is the best pairing I've ever had on this podcast. You can't, fill yourself up on Mots's shit. No, you can't. What are you talking about? Matsa soup's good, though. That's why the Jews never win the New York Marathon. They're just eating Mata.

Yeah. Is that why the Nigerian twin? Because you're just eating honey from a tree. They're used to Mata. But you know I get it. You know how I get it. Jewish guy to win the marathon? How?

You got a plate of money at the end of something? 10-0 bill. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. I mean, it was got it. That you saw her coming. If the, yeah, the ribbon.

Why do I slav these things on? We don't need it. I don't know. Well, Danny sometimes chimes in. Yeah, so whatever. So I was fucking, so my boss, my boss was like my biggest fan. What do you mean you were in the studio? Sorry, can you get?

So my friend's a rapper. Right. Who's your friend? 50 cent? No, French Montana. French Montana? Yeah. So he says to me, I want you to do like an intro to the song. So when I'm in the booth doing it, people are laughing and fucking somebody comes in

in with a fucking crazy mask on. The fuck's his dick doing, you know? Like you don't know, there's a pandemic. Sure. The fuck's a pandemic. There's an art vark. Yeah, yeah. So they'll tell me there's an art vark.

Someone eating an art vark in China. I'm breaking balls about it. Pandolin. But guys. Yeah. So what ended up happening, it was a, I'm saying. I ended up getting the Instagram account, and then I go home, fucking, I'm like, fuck around on it.

I had a two-family house we just bought, we gutted it. I gave everybody the pocket. Yeah. That was a Jewish joke on here. It was a Jewish joke. So, so fucking, anyway, to build and pull him and shut us down. Really? Yeah.

I had a gutted house with a kid living in my grandmother's house, miserable. So I saw just walking, and I never had Instagram. So I'm fucking seeing, like, Dave Portnoy and talk about pizza. Yeah. And I went on some New York shit. like fuck this guy like fucks you know about pizza right i'm gonna just fucking do the shit right i never thought that anybody would really like he would actually see it yeah yeah um i started doing in i'm just looking at the analytics like stuck going up so when i go back to work um there's a lot more of

a story anyway fox five ran a story on it like i was a hero right fucking saving these small businesses i really was getting free shit right and having fun right but then like i kind of like all right man i saw people give me solid stories i'm going to their places so when i went back to work I was like, can't do this no more. People asked me to come. They saw offering money. Like, oh, come on, man. I'll give you a couple of, I'm like, I got to pay somebody to edit it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw I make a couple dollars. And my boss knew I was in a hole from the house. Yeah. So he was cool with it. But the HR department started fucking people start wrapping me out. Like, they don't understand that. Like, I went there on a Saturday.

I'm posting on Tuesday. Like, he's not even at work. He's here. So it became an issue. Right. And my boss was like, look, you know, you got to fucking pick one and the other. Oh, shit. And he's like, listen, I love you.

He was, I think you're funny. Take a fuck a shot. Try it six months. I'll pay you a couple. I'll give you some severance. And you can come back to work about that deal. That's great. I'm like, all right, fuck it.

How many years ago was that? Five years. No shit. I went back to work once at, and it lasted like three months. Another company was like, dude, I get a kick out of what you do. He was a competitor. He's like, I don't give a fuck. Come to work.

And, dude, it was wild. my my coworker who was my new boss I swear I walk in he's got a mug my mug he's a fan no shit my new boss right he's like come on man we'll go to lunch you know yeah we go to lunch he's like yeah you want to go to strip joint what I mean he's like I got a place cross street I go I'm going to go to strip joint whatever I'm like you know I just start work hang on a second there's a club but women get naked yeah yeah and they take the clothes off for money yeah it's close strip joint yeah how much so whatever to place. So anyway, the kid's got a great story. So the boss. The boss. My new boss.

So he's like, whatever. I'm like, I just saw whatever. I'm going to go. I'll fucking go through the blueprint. She comes back. Plasted. His face is frozen. He's like doing lines and shit. He's like, this is my new boss. So like now ready, people are like, all right, this crew isn't going to really work out, you know? I'm manipulating him and everything. And I got him to fucking tell me his story. He got hazed, right? Like, he starts telling me his whole story. Like, he was in college. He wasn't really cool when he would get high he becomes the man like so he's like got this like fucking new person out right right right calling shots and shit like cool so he's like you know they used to call him the show his nickname was the show when he would party at school he comes to the show right other than

that he's just jason levin right right so listen to this kid's story how fucked up is i'm i'm listening yeah he goes to get hazed right so alpha beta or data whatever the fuck it is they're gonna haze him Right? So his hazing thing is that they go in like upstate New York, they drive them out, they get naked, they hold each other's dicks. They call it an elephant walk. What? Yeah. They walk as an elephant walk. And then some point, somebody comes with a bucket of ice and they throw it on them.

And this is the winter. And they get splished at his turn of him. He gets back to the frat house thinking he's in. They tell him they just got picked up on chocolate. They shut the fucking organization down. Because of what they were doing. So he got Hayes and he never got even to be in the fraternity. So we had to grab another dude's dick and he grabbed his dick and he said they walked like eight guys.

They did it. That sounds fun. So this is my first. We should do that after the show. This is my first day of work. Really? This is my new boss. Right.

I think that's how that hairdresser hazes is his future employee. So anyway, they let me go. I make Danny and Joe walk upstairs to the studio like that. They let me go, and I had to make it work, you know? So then you just went back to the social. I went back. I was doing it. But how did you get, who said, okay, dude, you're on here, go to clubs.

Who is the one who said you should go to comedy clubs and start doing this life? Oh, you want to go to the comedy clubs with this? That's a crazy story. Look, I panic having to do an hour, stand-up. I've been doing it for fucking 30-something years. Every time I get nervous. Yeah, I get nervous. Doing jokes.

But you're going up in front of a crowd. They're there to see you. It's different. Why? Well, first off, the reason why I got in the comedy was, I put the carriage for a horse. I actually got an agent before the comedy, which is weird, right? Because it's the current state of comedy. It's different.

Who's your agent? I'm like WME. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I got, what happens. Agents are like when a... Oh, I know them.

Okay. Yeah. So what happened was I did a lot of hosting. I would get a lot of hosting events. where I would break chops. Right. Like, I always got hired for that. And I started working with the Buffalo Bills,

and I would do, like, the KC Buffalo Bills, and I would host him as 80,000 people. Wow. So I'm like, I'm not nervous to have a microphone on my hand. And as I was hosting, I'm weaving jokes. It was basically crowdwork. But are you making these jokes up and keeping them? Yeah, well, my whole stick, even when I do social media,

it's just improv crowdwork. Right. But you got to be clean in a certain way. Because if you're, if you're saying, For a big corporate thing. Yeah, well, what happened is I, so just to give you the way it works, I did the, I did the food stuff, which was basically comedy over food, right? And I had all these catchphrase, I had all the shit. And then a lot of people started doing it.

It was wide open when I did it. Right. And then you got all these, like, Italian kids going to eat sandwiches and fucking smelling food and stuff, whatever. But they're working for free. Right. I'm 45 with three kids. Like, I'm getting paid. So I've seen the money diminishing.

Yeah. So I pivoted. And I was like, all right, I'm going to fucking do sports content. So I used, I started using Yankee Stadium like a stage. Right. Like, I just took over Yankee Stadium. And I got lucky because the Yankees went to the World Series. Really?

And I'm a Buffalo Bills fan. So I got, and then I got the Bills social team. Yeah. So I made a deal with them. Right. And they went to the AFC finals. Right. So I had, you couldn't make up the environment.

I actually, like, kind of stepped in shit my whole shit. Right. Because I fucking got involved in the stormed a pandemic when people were bored as fuck. Right. I did POV content, point of view content, which became a thing, right? It became a thing in social media. I just was fucking just grabbing a phone talk.

So you're just walking on the street with your own phone? Yeah, yeah. Recording stuff and sending it to an editor. No, editing myself too. You edited yourself. Not no more, but I did. Where did you learn how to fucking edit?

I just, well, bro, I'm a fucking engineer by trade. I had to use AutoCat and shit. You can't fucking, yeah, I edited. That really is. I just called him a dummy. I was like, where the fuck did you learn how to? I apologize. Yeah, yeah.

So, well, that's my whole thing is it. The people that get big, that get big, big, they're never dumb. Like, they're never dumb, the people that are really big on social media. Right. Well, I said, we're working on a whole budget. We're not that big. They're dumb. Okay, thanks.

Yeah. So the comedy thing, so what happened was I ended up, like, I ended up being at a point where I felt like comedy was at a stage where everybody was, like, just too scared and working in a box, and I knew that people were tired of it. So I felt like What I do Had an audience Right

So I was like I have a fucking audience I always said this Years ago I said you need the people You need what Need the people Yeah

Are people You need a fucking people Like the Italians Yeah Or the blue collars That's your people Or Asian or American No but people who see him online

What's that? People who see him online They just want to see him It's not even Italians You get the people And then you get everybody And also like Larry the cable guy Yeah yeah

dice, like, you know what I mean? Absolutely. You got, like, Carlos Monsia, you get a certain type of, you find your people and they'll show up. My fans don't know comedy. Like, my fans don't. They're not coming to see stand-up. They're not standing-of-comic. I say, I'm not a stand-of-comic.

I'm like a movie. Like, mine as anything goes, I'm not there to do conventional stand-of-comedy. Like, my comedy that I grew up watching was like the fucking honeymooners and, like, I like that type of, I wanted to do sketch comedy. comedy right right and and that's what i was doing like i don't know if you seen those dully videos i do those little sketchy videos yeah yeah these videos are getting 12 million 15 million views they're going crazy you get money off of that not really because but not like real money you know i thought i thought this guys would make like 40 grand a month no i don't make money like that

it depends on it depends on the if you have the really long videos that people are watching i get paid because of my personality you know like someone's like man i'll hire you to promote this thing but i don't see any longevity in that i see longevity in that i see longevity and saying, fuck you, you all of me, you love watching me, now you can't watch me no more. Come see me on fucking stage. Yeah. Because you pull that trigger, it's going to work, but no one has a bulls to do it.

And the risk is if they come see you and they don't have a good time, then they don't come again. But I don't believe in that. I'm going to tell you why. I believe the comedy business is a burn and churn business now. I don't give you an example. I grew up in a boiler business. My father was a super smart bully guy. And one of my buddies said, I'm going to get in the bullet business.

My father would watch him fail. the guy fucking made 10 times more money in us. And I'll tell you why I think it's a turn in burn business. I'm going to tell you why. Most people say the comics they like because you're a comic, right? So you know comedy. If you X an average person to name 10 comedians, they're like, they can't. They'll name the same four that they think they're supposed to name.

And they probably don't know any of their material. That's an average viewer. So if I go to a fucking average place right now and fucking 300 people go to see me, okay and fucking 300 think you suck people are going to say well i'm going to see myself just still people are going to come you only need to get a minute clip out of there that does really well because if i put a minute clip up on a bad day it's getting 50 000 views on a bad day right so that's all new clientele and it's so subjective comedy it's like a restaurant business people will say carbone's the best the people who get it in there goes great the people

who have a hard time getting in and then all it's go to chop the big 90% of people who come to see us through comedy are drunk They don't remember the fucking Have you had a show Where it fucking went wrong Well my first show People yell shit out at you the whole thing I had weird

Yeah it's like South Carolina But that's your thing You deal with that You don't mind The thing with me is that Like the staff Is not prepared for my type of show My show is like a world

Like WWF Right You know it's not like a comedy show It's your sister's a fucking whore Like you know This is what people do to me they want that for me so what i did was i was like i'm gonna do straight line comedy and now i'm gonna fucking just abuse the shit out of this person and then go back to what i was

doing rather than make that my show mo and i would like that's what i that's what i lean into but instead i'm like i'm fine in my way still right yeah yeah you know like like i could tell you that if i had to do a whole show uh crowd work yeah i can do it i think that i see a lot of comedians doing crowdwork and it's not good It's like, all right, this guy sucks at crowdwork, but he thinks that's what he needs to do because he needs to make comedy clips because you don't want to give up his set. I see a lot of community like, I don't want to give up my set. You know what I mean?

We'll make a fucking other joke, bro. Mo and I went to the casino, and while we were there, someone yelled out at it. We was at the craps table. My wife doesn't know I was there. Oh, we weren't. We were hanging out at a. We were hanging out at a deli. I corrupted him, too.

I actually hit for a lot of money when I was with him and lasted not even one second. He was calling me all week. and telling me this is the craziest weekend of everything. Like he was like, Bobby, he's at the table, and he's betting, and he won all this money. And then he lost it. And then we went and got food. Yeah, and he's a sponge. He'll take anything.

But he, uh... You know what I mean? Like, you know, you can give him break from. So while we were not at the casino, we were at a deli and he was playing craps at the deli, um, people were shouting out at him. Yeah, sister. Like, at wall he was at the table. It was crazy. Or whatever.

I just think that... I knew guys like you from Boston. Yeah. And I hung out, and I worked in the North End at an Italian restaurant. A lot of familiar with Georgios. Yeah. And the people that owned it remind me a guys. I grew up with guys like you.

I had a friend Stephen Georgio, who was the manager of the restaurant. But he was track suits every day, gazelle glasses, different color. You got nice glasses. Thank you, buddy. What are they? They're Jacques Maurice. They're the best. They're the best.

You got a ton of money. No, but I buy what I love. You look like it. Thank you, Bell. Those are sharp. But he would walk up. he would walk like i remember one time he was coming up the street and he's like give me a second

he's just loud just like you and i makes me crack up now i'm a stand-up comic but to me he was the funniest guy i ever met he walked up he walked over to a group old italian guys give me one sec walked over another group one more minute then he walked over another give me two seconds i'll be with you and then he walks up he goes i'm in more huddles than a fucking NFL quarterback let's go eat you cocksuckers yeah and i i mean who the fuck comes up with that line

You know what I mean? We were at a hojo's one day. Me, a hojo's. Howard Johnson's. Don't say what. I don't, this isn't for you. I'm not doing a podcast for you. It's for the people.

And if they don't know, fuck them. They can figure it out. Howard Johnson's. I remember. We're sitting down. And there's a, with him, he's sitting here. There's a lady behind us, like an older Italian lady from the North End on a date with a guy. And his son and another guy, the plumb, Paul the plumber.

and me and they all have nicknames they all do fucking Joe the barba you need a nickname I got one got though got though yeah so we're sitting there and they keep going buddy she's got a wig she wears a wig and he's just sitting there quietly eating his little food and like dude she's gonna

nah she doesn't have a wig that's a wig and then he goes enough shut the fuck up he turns around he grabs in here he picks it up he goes it's a wig are you happy dude I fell on my I fell off the table and the guy she was with was just like what the fuck and i just remember her eyebrows going up and looking at her hair pop up

you can't you can't write that you can't write that type of to me that makes me crack the fuck up it's a funny show me he believes he's he's he used to tell me we go he goes what are you doing tonight with italian people you have to you have to have something you can't just say nothing because then you're doing something with them you know what i'm saying he'd be like what you're doing tonight and i'm just hanging out you go to mom you're going to foxwoods i'm like i can't i got to work tomorrow i'm going to duck you and put you in the fucking Trump You gotta say, yeah

You gotta make believe right away in advance You can't do it No, you can't have something to do Because you need the out One time he calls me up He goes Bobby, what are you doing On Wednesday the 18th? I go nothing, what do you?

I thought we're gonna go to dinner or something He goes, good, you got a gig I'm like, what? He goes, mings Mings has been closed for 10 years It's a Chinese restaurant down River Beach Literally fucking just Gated up close

I go, that's close He goes, it's open now I go down He goes Meet me down there In 10 minutes It's right down the street For my house

I go in Fucking all Cadillacs And Mercedes I walk in All guys like him And like playing cards Eating fucking Chinese food and lasagna

If that's how Go to if we're not Eating Italian food Is Chinese Buddy I walked in They got the fucking places This guy Moosey walks up He's around

Fucking 8 feet Wide He walks out I hope you're funny He already had me Doing the gig I was doing He goes listen

Joe the barber Just got a fed of a prison We're going to do a show but it's for the wives. So you've got to be good. It's the guys and their wives. I was like, all right, so I go. I get this Italian kid that opened for me that sucked.

He bombed every time. I'm going to throw him up in front of me. He's going to eat his dick. I'm going to go up and look like a fucking, you know, awesome. So I show up on the night of the gig. I come in. I haven't heard laughter like this. I didn't know he had 15 minutes of all Italian material.

The kid's murder. Murdering. Fucking. I'm panicking. I'm panicking. Then they go, the moosey walks up you're next he goes you better be good as him this kid got kissed by more men after the show i couldn't well you're fucking you're fucking the best i gotta go up moosey grabs

a chair this guy turns it around sits right in front like this all fucking guys and their wives in suits in mings i'm shit in my pants the only thing i go where the fuck is ming and they go he's in the kitchen he's in the kitchen he fucking like gambling he like the horse They grabbed this little Asian guy out of the kiss. He said, hello, hello. He fucking, I just smashed him for 25 minutes and it saved my fucking life. Stop looking for the perfect gift. Check out Aura Frames.

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monocidal and finaster stride. Featured products include compound drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety. effectiveness or quality, prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. There's nobody funnier than fucking Italian, like, over the top. To me, they fucking, I grew up with that. You know, I feel like, and maybe I'm wrong, I can't name, like, an Italian,

authentic Italian from, like, New York, like from Brooklyn, comedy-wise, that really blew up, like, who? Well, I mean. There's a lot of Jewish guys. that looked Italian. Andrew Dice Clay's Jewish. I'm an Italian. Yeah.

There isn't any? No. Or Pat Cooper? No. Um, no. He was, yeah, Pat Cooper, yeah. Pat Cooper was huge. Yeah.

Funny, I tell you, I was audition for the Sopranos. Fucking Pat Cooper walks out and he goes, you guys can go home. Then he does five minutes in the lobby and murders. I'm literally shaking in my boots because I got audition for the Sopranos. And it's for somebody who gets killed. So it's like a great scene. He fucking murder. herders and then I got to go in and meet with

David Chase and all these people and I remember the lady walked up to me I read my first line then she comes up she whispers my ear sit on your hands because apparently I was just doing this shit yeah fucking Pat Cooper was one of the funniest guys ever your opener got the roll off the no I didn't get the I'm trying to say so name in another one

I can't buy Cooper we got fuck well this is like really people who are really funny like if you're really funny if you're like the guy that kills at the construction site or whatever it like You don't, you don't want to go through actually learning because you have to go through the period of sucking. So a lot of people won't do it. One thing with me is like, I don't, I don't, I don't really, I'm not engulfed in comedy.

Like, I don't know. No, but you've put in, you've put in work. What do you mean? I did fucking 100. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm saying you've, you put it in work. You're on the road every fucking weekend, but here's what you did. I never did like, you, who you, who you are.

This is, this happened with Vine. This happened during the pandemic with podcasting. You can't cheat this shit. Social media. It's when, you know, when that happened, you took advantage of it, and you were you, and people like you, because there's only one of you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And you took advantage. You were smart enough to say, fuck, I'm going to try this and do it, figure out how to do it, and now you're doing it, and then you parlayed it into going to comedy clubs and getting the door deal and packing the place out, and they're coming just to have the experience. Yes. Because I think you're right. There's too many fucking comics. There's too many comedy shows, and people are like, all right, I, all right, I got it.

They want to go to the big arena things because that's a fucking event. But to get a fan base to show the fuck up, you need a people. You need. And the truth is that. And you need a catchphrase. You need a catchphrase. I got a lot of them. I said this on Hopi and Anthony fucking look it up.

I got a hundred. Yeah. You get a catchphrase. I mean, catchphrase for everything. Get her done. Fucking get her done. Yeah, something. Because you need it for the marriage.

Sure. but but you need it to stick you want people to say what you say it's like restaurants too like if if if people go to a restaurant and even if the restaurant's good but they don't know how to convey it to other people they're no one they don't they don't pass it on right right whenever i go to restaurants and they're all over the map like they're even the food's really good but you don't leave there being like you got to go to this place it's like you got to know that it's like italian small plates and then you can and then people will go but if you're like that's like a bunch of food stuff the people that i see who do the best is a small menu small menu yeah yeah because you've got to push a certain thing. But yeah, well, anyway, like I'm trying to say, is any art, you know, the issue with artists is confidence. It's such a, it's, it's, it's so fragile. I see that, to me, a lot of comics have the issue

with selling their comedy. You know what I mean? Like, like, I see a lot of flaws in the comedy scene is what I'm taking advantage of. Not that I think I'm the best comic. I think there's a lot of comics that don't want to sell they're working in a box scared they're chasing a passion which gives you no leverage whatsoever see i i i'm not chasing a passion i'm i'm doing what i think

works right now but i would pivot if it didn't work i wouldn't say fuck my life's over if i can't get booked in a show my thing is get the people like you and if they like you they're with you I can walk on stage and trip over a fucking wire. I'm not going to be like, oh, I fucked up my set. They're going to be like, oh, you're an idiot because they like you already. I think there's two things, though. I think, yes, you can do what you're doing, right? And be remembered and you're doing something different.

But there's also comics that are just fucking good. Like, you know what I mean? That are just that when you go in and you see them, there's a level of, that show was the fucking best comedy show I've ever seen. Yeah. And I think for stand-ups, that should be your fucking, that should be where you're trying to get. When I see comics all the time, like, you know, like I love Christophano. He's from my neighbor.

I just went to see his show. Like, when I walk away from watching him, I go, he's a comic. He talks, too. He's just himself. Like, I respect comics that are comics, but I'm saying that there's a lot. So you look at percentages. All right. So what percentage of the world wants to be a comic?

All right? Now take that percentage and say, what percentage of him can actually do it? And then you go, what's the percentage of them can actually put people? in his seat and then it's like it's very small right you know what i mean like you start like you know what i mean because because comedy isn't just being funny it's not i mean i'm i'm i'm a fucking uh club favorite because i put the tickets first before my comedy what's that mean i'll tell you how if i go perform in front of 20 people it's a lot harder than perform in front of 300 people if you play to the crowd i'm someone plays to the crowd if i got to go to 20 people when you say

something awkward, okay? If I say something awkward, like I do, like you, you're a Middle Eastern guy, and I rub you and I go, let me get my three wishes. Right. Right. Right. Yeah, I got it. Okay. If there's fucking 20 people in the room, someone like looks before they laugh, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh my God, that was offensive. Right.

But because they can't hide it. So it's an awkward thing. When it's 300 people and you say something outrageous, it becomes funnier. Right. Yeah. It's more of a circus. It's more of a circus. Right. That's the perfect way to put it. So what I'm trying to say is, my thing is, let me sell the fucking place out. And then I'll make sure my material's good because I got to put my feet.

Have you ever gone up and it didn't work? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Like if you were to throw me right now in a random show and no one knows who I am, probably not work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I did the fucking, I know the seller and this is the one around the block. Village Underground?

I did Village on the ground. Chris drew me up for like six minutes. I mean, I did good. Everybody fucking laughed and shit. Yeah, yeah. Great show. I did the stand like that, not to stand New York City.

Comedy Club, do you comics give you shit, though? Yeah, but I'm also a very, I'm the type to tell you suck a dick. Yeah, who's going to. You know what I mean? Like, I'm that type. Like, I was on a show.

I was on a show because I get, I get that they're not going to get it. Like, what I get from comics, I'll have a comic. Like, I was in, I was in Nashville and these comics were picking my brain for everything.

Like, how do you get followers? How do you this? Like, then they're throwing shots at me while they're asking me questions. So I'm like, I'm fucking teaching these guys shit. And they treat me like, I'm going to send it for a check and I have no respect for comedy. Like, you really think you're going to get better?

Like, no, dude, I actually write my shit. Right. I fucking, I wrote fucking an hour material and pulled it off and fucking in like 10 days. Like, I'm doing shit that's hard. I'm a worker. right so I'm working now do I think it's the best no it's a work in progress but there are all things I could teach you in this shit you could probably teach me but do I get

shit yeah I like a comic like this is a typical situation for me let's say I go on a showcase and I'm in the back and hanging with comics I don't want to hang with too many comics because a lot of comics are negative a lot of comics I see are you know you're you're not that case but there's comics that are like sour you know especially with social media things, right? Like, like, okay, at the end of the day, a million people of following someone, there's a big amount of people think you're funny.

Right. Like, so I have people think I'm fucking funny. Sorry, you don't think I'm funny, but I'm fucking, there is a method to the man. Well, it's different to stand up. There's the purest. Well, you know, there's all that shit. I had an athlete that came to my show and he, whatever.

He's a fucking Super Bowl, fucking dude or whatever. And he's like, No, but he's a guy. And he says to me, you know, man, you just fucking saw it doing it. So I said, let me answer the question. Well, you were always an athlete. He says, yeah. I said, since you were a kid, yeah.

So why can't someone naturally be funny? You can naturally be funny. Yeah. It doesn't mean you have to have fucking. But the translation is, the problem is if I, that guy, Stephen, right? Love him to death. One of the funniest guys I've ever met. The guy Stephen George, I was telling you about that.

Oh, right, right, right, right. We had, I was in this independent film called Kuala Bear Bear King. kid and it was about mob thing right and the mob guy they hired the mob guy he was an actor professional actor but what he did was he got the part and then the week of rehearsals were shooting in three days two days actually he's in the rehearsals and he's he's a gay guy gay actor and he got the part by going you fucking gonna come in but then when we rehearsing he's like you know I'd come up you'll have your money soon he's like where is my money and I'd be like what he's like my money better be here by tomorrow

and they would be like cut the director was like what are you doing like what the he's like it's it's it's a seed that's in me and it has to you have to let it grow you have to trust me Eric and the guy was like I can't I was shooting in two days and you're doing this other thing

so that's when I was like he's like I don't know what to do I can't get another actor and that's when I said I got a guy and I brought him down to the fucking North End and that's the day where Stephen was walking up. He goes, I'm in more huddles than an NFL NFL fucking quarterback. And he goes, he's perfect.

So we brought him down for rehearsals the next night. And he's supposed to, you know, where's my money, blah, blah, blah. And then he's supposed to take me and grab me and rough me up a little bit. He literally, I walk up. I'm like, hey, I'm going to have you. He goes, where's my fucking money? I'll fucking murder you right now. And then he takes me and throws me across the room. And I go flying through all the fucking chairs in the college. And Eric, the guys, it's perfect. I go, no, no, no.

no, no, he really threw me through the fucking chairs, Stephen, you can't, you can't, and they're like, bring back the gay. Exactly. Then on set, he shows up with a real gun. He's like, you guys need guns? He's like, you can't, you know what I mean? So there's like, he didn't, he translated.

He was Baldwin's prop guy. It was hard to, it was hard to translate what he truly is over to acting or something like that. So to be able to do that and go on stage, and translate what you were doing on your fucking phone in a deli is that's a that's a hard thing

to do but but what i but i think it's a little opposite i actually were translating really me on a phone right so yeah i know what you're saying what i'm saying he was like when i'm still funny part of you what i'm still trying to do is i got through people trying to shape me into being a comic. Right. I'm past that. Okay. I ran past that. Good. I'm, I'm now, you don't like that. No, no, no, because what I'm trying to say is like, you know, I had guys I was working with you, like, you know, you got to stand in front and stage and be on a mic, put the mic stand behind you and all that type shit. Now, I'm like, fuck that. I got a theme song. You know, I come out to a theme song. What's your theme song? It's sick. You want to hear it? Yeah. I got together for a far. So I'll show you. So I have a theme song.

I dance. I fucking come out. I do my shit. It's a show. I am into, it's a show. And guess what? And people fucking liking it, and it's working. Why are you in Vegas? Why don't you get a residency? Why don't you get a residency? I just started.

Why am I doing this? You know what? You know what? I don't want to talk too much shit about the clubs. But the fucking clubs suck. In Vegas. No, in general. They don't fucking help comics sell tickets, bro.

These are all bullshit. Well, it's all in us now. It's all on us. The clubs used to help us sell because they paid radio. you're going to do five things of radio they do papers that advertise They used to curate Now they're just an open space

Good word curate I think that I think you gotta have your hand on a pulse of the current state of comedy And at the end of the day These clubs think And comedians think Oh this guy got a big phone

And it's just gonna sell a ticket My tickets don't sell through my Instagram Like I fucking run ads I do hand-to-hand fucking combat that I fucking sell tickets because it's like you put a call to action on your story with a fucking ticket link that ain't really selling tickets what sells tickets is you saying to somebody who follows you hey man I'd love to see you at the show things ain't great right now I'm not really selling I would love if you could bring a couple of your friends oh I'm gonna

fucking give remind me when I'm there to fucking say hello to you I got to fuck I'm going to give you something they want the personal fucking thing and if you personally invite 300 people to your show you're going to sell a show out That's why I go out after the shows Even like, you know, I have people to see me In Rhode Island like seven times Providence is great I go out after the show and I fucking take, and they're like,

dude, this is the seventh. They're good out there. Comedy connections are you? Comedy connections are the best. I just came back from around. I just was there last week. I didn't do a show. I did a promotion, but I'm setting up a show.

Right. So like my idea with the show is like with the sports should I do. I'm doing like with my tour. I'm doing a Buffalo Bill's backer tour. You like the Buffalo Bill? Yeah, I'm a Bill's fan. Sorry.

Yeah, but I'm like engulfed in the bills. Like, I'm like a mascot at this point. All right. Yeah, I, I, I'm friends. I love them. Great team to be a mascot for. Well, they love the Italian shit, you know? No, they're, they're, they're, you know that I work with the Buffalo?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm seeing you from Toronto. They're, they're an electric fan base. And no one, my biggest, no one hates it. They, nobody hates the fan base, but it's a hard team to be because they had, they had, they were so close so many years. Yeah, but Josh is, and to go to. Meaning wise, it's miserable. Are you a Bills fan? Nah, I mean, there was, in Toronto, there was, like, groups of people that would obsess over the bills.

And then what's the other obsession? Just being, like, fuck the kids that like the Bills. Really? Yeah, and just, like, picking another team. All my friends have, like, a random team that they've picked. Yeah. I fucking, I have a phone Toronto show. We feel close to the Bills.

The Bills almost moved to Toronto. I had four shows in Toronto. And, uh, this one show, one guy calls up the box office and buys the whole show out, right? It's not a big show. It's like 160 people. I don't know the name of the club. It was like, you probably know that... Comedy bar?

Comedy bar. Yeah. And the guy buys the whole show. Italian guys. I didn't even know there was that many Italians out there. Like, it's like fucking Italian. In Buffalo? No, no.

In Toronto. Oh, Toronto. They buy out the show. They have Italian people in Canada? Yeah. Massive. 100. I just did a show in fucking Montreal.

They had an ad folding chairs. No shit. I don't think I'll blow up in New York. I haven't had a big show in New York. We keep waiting to do a show in New York. New York's a hard ticket. well I sold out Rodney's you know like if that was my first show

I did four shows that I sold them out right but um we haven't done a show in New York City because I think we're waiting to see like what kind of numbers I could do but fucking Canada I don't have to do shit I show up it sold out right Montrose I just said Montreal had fucking lighters up like I was a fucking movie saw it's crazy right and um

I had to learn fucking French a little bit to tell this guy to have his sister to take a teeth out but um Anyway, I go, I go, and, uh, Toronto, this guy buys the whole show out and they go, and they're giving me messages like, you know, hey, like this guy's so-and-so and you got to be careful what you're saying and shit. Hmm. So while I'm doing the show, anytime I try to fuck with these guys, like, the whole crowd's

going, like, like, like, like watch you, I'm like, bro, I can't fucking want on eight shells. Like, go fuck yourself. You know what I'm saying? And I started just tearing into them. I was fucking, the guy I'm calling him, Chippetto. I mean, fucking Jepetto. I say his sister's all over. And, you know, we used to call it Chepeda,

because she had a hairy neck, you know, when she blew you. And they fucking loved it, you know? Yeah. I had to happen to me in Miami's fucking guys, Albanian guys, they get the front row. They got bottles on the table and they're like this. Right.

And I couldn't, I'm like, yo, they're throwing me off. Like, these guys don't like, they're acting like they want to fucking beat the shit out of me. But in my head, I'm like, they got front row over my show. Like, they got to be fans, you know? Yeah. But in the middle of it, I just fucking lean over.

I moved the mic and I whispered and the guy's it. I said, I'm being a fucking jerk off of him. You know what I mean? Like, I'm straighting up. I gotta, I'm making money. I got to free my kids, you know? Right. He's like, yeah, I says, it's fucking late, you know?

Right. So, nobody knows what I said to him. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Now they're all fucking like lipping and now he's like hitting his friends and they're really getting into it. Be like, I'm trying, I'm like saying, like, if you're a fan,

it's like I'm like a dick. Right. But I'm really whispering him on stage. Right. It's awesome. I mean, that's just everything that I'm, like, everything I do on stage is so perfectly thought about and, and calculated and everything. And then if that breaks, I'm, I mean, I'm fine. Like, I'm good on my feet, but, like, that's, he's good on his feet, because that's him, right?

Like, it's the same thing as Trump. My whole thing is, I'm good on my feet. Do you just call him Trump? No, I'm saying, but Trump, that's why Trump is so likable because you, you throw shit at Trump, and he's like, someone threw a bottle of me, go fuck yourself, right? Like, no other politician does that. I actually, so what I'm trying to say. I love that he said today, he goes, I like to get all these Somalians out of the country sucks the country shit he is the funniest he's the as a comic he's i don't understand how

you don't like what he says because it's ridiculous and hilarious whether you believe it or not the fact that he's saying this as the president of the free world is going somalians the country's terrible it's shit i mean what the he focuses on such small things and he believes what he says at least in the moment he's funny as fuck yeah he's a funny he's one of the funny i mean ragin was funny he's funny he's funny he's funny he's funny he's funny he's funny he's funny he's funny he's funny Yeah, he's fucking great. You know why I always say I had a hard time, I almost got beat up in comedy works,

which is the best club. I mean, it's actually a cheat code in comedy. What, in Vegas? Oh, in Denver. Anything you say they live. It's got to be the best comedy crowd in the world. Right? And I come out and they put people,

they'll sit people on stage. I never seen this in my life. With downtown or in the south? Yeah, the downtown one. They had a guy on stage. So now my guys are like construction workers. So I got this big brutus-looking motherfucker I can ring my neck

He's with his wife I come out She's fucking whacked We start off the fucking show They won't shut the fuck up And he's totally taking him off my game And he's stepping on anything I say He's screaming

He's crazy And I'm like Yo dude shut the fuck up You know what I mean Like this is the start of my show Yo shut the fuck up And he won't stop Now it's six minutes in

so they're going to throw him out so i woke up to him i shake his hand like bro like they're gonna throw you out stop being a fucking jerk off you know what i mean and uh anyway i look and he's gone you know what i mean and i'm like i like i feel bad i don't like nobody getting thrown on my show but people get thrown out on my show because they get crazy i had a fucking guy get torn out and fucking um in Albany i felt bad for the guy because people saw it shaming me after the show like you got the guy thrown out i didn't get thrown out so i reached out to him to give him free tickets to come to another show and he's like this is my fourth show. Like that show

you just went fucking crazy. But what happens is they step on your joke. Yeah. They know your joke and they're screaming out. You can't tell a joke. Yeah. You know, like everything I say, the motherfucker said. But yeah. I remember I saw Dice at the Rive and he walked out man. God damn.

He walked out first minute and a half. He said something to a guy and the guy yelled something back out like one of his things. He goes, fuck your mother. You fuck if he just start smashing him. I'll fuck his sister. And then he goes, get the fuck out.

He just kicked the guy out. First two minutes of the show. And the guy paid tickets. He's a fan, but he was just being a dickhead. Get him out. And they just walked him out. He goes, good, now we can start. And he went into his fucking act.

Yeah. Have you met Dice? No, but I talked to him on social. So my father, I have an interesting thing. My father was a huge Dice fan. Like, my father loved Dice. My father bears away. I had a picture of my father with the original

dice shirt like the first one yeah so i sent it to dice on instagram and uh he was like oh i'm watching you i see you hungry and da-da he was like super cool and then uh but he thought i was my father which was funny because he was like oh i see you kept the hair man and you got the shirt still and i'm laughing because of pictures from like 1990 or something you know like he's a little you know doesn't realize this but then um no he was cool it's just like he's a good guy yeah i i had um I got fired from a job one time because the guy said I acted like Dice couldn't take me serious

Right? So you know Have you ever had that problem? What's, you know, What's the name? Kerrigan. She's a comedian from Philly.

Yeah, yeah. Eleanor, Eleanor. She's the best. She's obvious, she's close with Dice. Yeah. So I had told her the story

of this. She was like, you have to tell him. That's when I first messes him. So I got fired from a job because the guy was like, you fucking think you're an agent's ice. Clay, like, you know, like, and

anyway, I get fired years later when I become a project manager. He's on my bid list. Like, he's bidding like a fucking, you know, multi, like $5 million project. I tell my boss, this guy fucking fired me. He goes, all right, line him. So I fucking crossed the money.

The guy costs himself millions. Because he fired me. Yeah. Because he thought, like, I act like, you know, and he said, like, an obnoxious guy, you know? Let me ask you a question. Wow. You know, you both.

Wait, what did I say to that? I just, like, I guess, he thought it was funny in the story, you know what I mean? I don't know. I never talked to him personally. Only drew messages. I never met him. Is that good? Is it okay with you? I'm, that's satisfied. What are you writing a book? I just, I like, I like to close the loops.

I mean, you really do. I'm saying, like, you're, you're a straight line comic. Like, I'm saying, like, true, true to the thing. Mo. No, look at them. I'm all character on stage. Oh, you really? I don't, I don't like people judge books by their cover. Yeah, thank you. Because people do it with me, but I would judge you as a bookworm.

Like, you look like a bookworm. Like, did you ever finish a book? I've finished a few books, yeah. Like Charles Dickinson? Charles Dickinson. I've read a Charles Dickson? I've read a few. Dick, yeah. I've read books thicker than me, bro.

Is that your character? My penis, I don't know. I have a thing I look at people's sticks in the urinals. Yeah. No, because it gives you an edge on them, you know? Unless it doesn't. In construction, I learned that. You look at dudes' dicks in the urinal?

I had a guy, like, my boss one time. Like, you know, he almost wanted me to look at it. Like, I went in the urinal, and he's like, and I peaked over, and his dick was in the water. So, like, I was like, you know, I gave him respect and he gave me a race. His dick was in the, you piss. He was in the work. He's Italian. Right.

Tangians are hit a miss. Yeah. You know, like, like, Asians got little dicks. Yeah. That's why they did. It's facts. White guys, they step it up. That is facts.

Asians got little dicks. Everybody knows that. Black guys, we know have big dicks. They do. You got little dicks. Tang's a hit a miss. And Indians,

you only know if you play a flute. I like that. See? I like those type of jokes. Silly shit, you know? I love racism. Yeah. I do a lot of that, you know?

What about Jews? Jewish jokes? I mean, like, I have a Jewish jokes. I mean, how you're Jewish? joke. Oh, that was, that was material? Yeah. I was my opener in L.A. So I said, you know, I said, I grew up in New York City. He said, if you make it there, you can make it anywhere.

I said, in Los Angeles, you can make it too. You got to have a good attorney, a good age, and a good place to surgery. And he all got to be Jewish. How you're doing? That was my opener in L.A. Listen, man, I don't get a fuck. The fucking character that he is and the things that you do, you can't, you can't, you can't not watch him and go, all right. You know what I mean?

How you doing? Yeah. You know what I mean? So you guys are both... This is the thing. You're both food guys. Yeah, you're a food guy too, right? He's like a big food guy.

Yeah, but you really like the food. Yeah, I like the food. I don't give a fuck about food. Like you see this? This mozzarella. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody hates me mozzarella all the time. I'm fucking tired of mutzail.

I'm gonna tell you something right now, though. You don't have a piece of bread. That's why I know you don't know what you're doing. How do you not fucking bring a piece of bread? You want me to eat prosjure with no bread? Listen to me. One of these mozzarella's, I'm going to tell both of you guys. and I want to get your opinion.

I already know. This is the better one. Yeah. How do you know? That looks like fucking polio. Yeah. And that one's Play-Doh and this is hand stretched. This is fucking nice right here.

But the problem is... I feel bad because I didn't know. I thought that... I thought this was the good one because it was on this plate. No, he looks like... Yeah, I do. Looks like fucking Mr. Potatoe.

He looks like a guy that looks like a fucking... Looks like a fucking... It looks like a fucking... You had an advantage. You ever go to Disney World and somebody's like has a map. Like, they have a map.

They got arrows. And then, like, someone's like, oh, I'm just going to ask the employee. And then you get him. You know what I mean? And you're like, how do you get to Pirates, like, Caribbean? And he's like, you just got a turn. His name tag's a little crooked. First of all, this is the best.

This is fucking unbelievable. Let me spit my Lucy's out. This is fucking unbelievable. I love Lucy's great. Use code word dude. Oh, you don't code word. Also, the prosciutto is, one's imported and one's domestic, but probably just eight. This is pursuit of the Palmer.

100%. Oh, I don't think so. That is good bursuit. But you put your hands all over it. I wash my hands first. Can you touch it? I washed my hands. Yeah, but you're one of them guys that ran your hands true to water.

No, no, no. Right? He didn't really wash his hands. What you got to do is go to the bathroom? You got to look at dicks? What's up with the Indian guys that cook with their sweat? You ever see that? Yeah, of course, they dip their whole, punch the whole feet.

That's can't be real. Yeah. I think it's AI. No, that's real. You've been in Indian? No, I wouldn't go Yeah Like yo I have a thing

Like if someone tells me You're going somewhere I think what their motive is You know what I mean Like I was online I was in the airport And this fucking dude He's in front of me

And he turns out And he's like Little muh And I'm like I'm like I'm going I'm going wherever Fuck I was going

And he's like I'm like where you going He's going I'm going to Utah So I'm going to What are you doing in Utah He's going to I'm going to a bachelor party

So I'm like What are you fucking little kids And he's like what? Yeah me I'm like what too You fucking kids Because in Utah, you can marry like a 15-year-old. Oh, okay, gotcha.

Right? Right? It's like, who would have a bachelor party in Utah? Like, right? You wouldn't think that that's weird? Yeah. What I'm getting at. If you tell me you're going to Thailand.

It's a nerdy place to have a bachelor. No, it's not nerdy. He's far into weird shit. Yeah, yeah. Now, if you tell me you're going to Thailand, I'm assuming you want a lady boy. Right. I just assume it. Is anybody having a bachelor party in Thailand?

No, I had a guy try to hire me for a, bachelor party and I priced it off his friend's faces. I said, well... How much would his bachelor party be? 10. 10K? Yeah, but I'm doing an hour. 10K? Yeah, how much would mine be?

Less. You seem more like, you know, his friends might be weird. Your friends are more like, you know, right, the Akirang guy. I wouldn't be able to get 10K out of you to go to a bachelor party. No, not at all. Right, but his friends, I could maybe weasel him. You know what I mean? You're more expensive. You're more expensive.

a guy system because I'm like a whore. Yeah. Very similar. No, I am. You guys should do a podcast together, by the way? Yeah. Yeah. Well, the way I make my money is people pay me to do odd things.

Like, they'll be like, yo, man, I want you to fucking come to my fucking kid's bar mitzvah. How much? And I have a number for everything. How much? You know, I have a number for everything. Right. So these guy wanted to hire for a bachelor party. But now I'm like, these guys are going to kidnap me.

Who knows what they are? I'm not like, I'll. come and say my own hotel. You go by yourself? Well, it depends, because my friends are not real security guards. They suck. They're like street guys. You know, I'm sure. But they're not really security guards. So like that, and you can't groom

somebody to know how to act. You know what I mean? They handle business? No, I had security. Like his friends wouldn't be able to secure him. I had a security guard. Your friends could give free tickets out to a club. I had a security guard, but he went. They know where the good coffee. Your friends could ask five questions about. Well, we don't know.

You got a talk for. Because I'm over talking you and they're not over talk i don't have enough ammo no no no you're good dude let him talk no all right listen let me ask you questions i want to ask you i want to ask you question no he's like you're good at math he's been he's been yes i'm okay at math yeah he's been on my show before this is his thing he's just a little quiet he's a sniper i'm i'm also i like your story i'm interested i'm i'm i'm here to okay all right so so so so what do you want to know well fuck i was i was i feel like we were doing pretty my family's mentally ill My brother's a psychologist.

Really? What about your sister? No, I'm joking. My sister, my sister identifies as a dog. What? Yeah, we throw frisbees and shit. That doesn't even make sense.

Yeah, no. It makes sense. She could fucking scratch her back of her ear with a foot. That was the tag. Let me ask you a question. Food, seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The best, best restaurant in New York City.

I'm going to go to the best restaurant. What is it? I mean, it's your opinion. It's tough because it depends what you want. Give me a tough three. Well, he knows I'm going to fucking pair him up, so he's trying to be fucking smart right now because I know him all. I like to better when Mozyapping.

I know him more. I mean, the fans did too. I feel like I'm like good at keeping it in line. You know, I make sure that the, that we're not going too off track. No, fuck that shit, bro. All right. I'll fucking text somebody right now, and I'll say their food's the best if they send

his L. You know what I'm like? That's where my mind's going to. Wait, but Bobby, don't you like that he was saying the shit about, like, yeah, he's got a bunch of followers, but don't you like that he was saying, like, that doesn't do shit? Like, he bust his ass to make sure the club's filled. Well, because I, listen, I know that having followers, whatever.

I mean, look, if you even, if you take my, I don't have a million, but I have whatever I have. Yeah, yeah. But if you take the, I only work clubs that I like. I used to work every week, I don't have to do that anymore. So I work clubs I like that I sell tickets at. I went and figured it out in my head. I don't work in the summer because I'm not famous enough to fill June in July.

So I fucking take the summer off. I'll work here and there. And then I work September to April because I know that's comedy season. And that's when people go to clubs. But then I went and I go, these are the clubs I love that I have fans. I'm just going to work those. Everything else is a fucking gravy. I can build a fan base over here or build over there.

So I can... The subclubs you're just not going to do it. You got to figure out where you're at. Like I remember Chris Rock used to see all the time. I only work theaters. I don't want to do arenas. Because once you do arenas, you've got to come back down. I don't want to come back down.

I'm fine making a lot of money doing 5,000 cedars. You know what I mean? He never went to do what all these other people are doing. Because you can only do that for so long. I can do this forever. You know what I mean? So, like, you're going to find out where your whale house is and kind of, if you're trying to do what this guy's doing, it's not going to work. If you do what you can do and then build that every year and you're putting on a good show, you can figure it out.

I had to figure that out for me that I'm not going to be able to – I'm not going to do town hall, right? But I can do the Gramacy. I can do all around – I can do Jersey. I can make great money, enough money to support my – what do I need – you know, Irish Shafir said it once he figured out I have to make $40,000 a year to pay my bills

everything else is gravy so once you figure out what your nut is you can make that easy and then everything else you can say no to the most powerful thing of the business now I'll pass because how many clubs I said no to

and they're like well what about this no what about that no now I say yes to everything now like today I was like no And I just started saying no Because I did the math Like this tour that I'm on right now

I have 70 I had 70 shows I'm fucking losing money on 50% of the shows I got a sponsor Which I pushed for Which was Lucy Oh Lucy's one of my sponsors

Yeah You got more than one Who's your other sponsor? A soda company called Johnny Ryan's It's out of Buffalo, yeah Oh cool So that's what I did The Bill's backer thing with

Right So what I figured in my head was like, I'm a big Bill's fan. I went to every game last year. I can't go anymore. What I found out that I didn't know is that there's a bills community in every major city. Right. So I line up the show. If I got a show on a fucking Thursday, you know, I'll try to get to the place earlier, right?

So I'll make food content and stuff in the area. What I find works the best for me is if I hit a local spot, that's hot and just do like a promo out of it, that gets people like, oh, you're here. and now I've doubled down on the comment and I go talk to him like, you'll come see me. I remember Billy Burr used to pass out on every show. He had little flyers with a mailing list. He'd go to every single table

and put it on the table and then collect people's emails. And then you do that four times. The room's a 250-seater. You're going to wind up with maybe 800 emails. And now you can sell that fucking room out three or four times. Yeah.

Because they're going to come back and see you Because they gave you the email You know what I'm saying There is work to it You know radio shows Tampa I go on Mike Kalta show I go on a day early Most people are going to want to do radio

Go fuck yourself Yeah Mike's the best I think I did do his show Yeah Mike's the best My whole life is a blur though I don't remember fucking Well you're in a you're in this fucking mode right now Yeah I don't fucking remember many shows

Because I'm doing so many Now do you know your family Do they I mean you're on the road so much Is it fuck you up Yeah yeah definitely But my wife I'm with my wife forever But, like, we're dating since we're, like, 21 years old, like, and we're married. She's a soldier.

She's a soldier, yeah. So. What about your kid? How old are your kid? Well, my 10, I have a 10 year. I have two babies. Yeah. My son, you know, I think it definitely is affecting him, but, like, we're going to go to

a bill's game. He, my son gets a lot of perks, too. Like, you know, he's, fuck. Josh Allen's fucking coming and slap him five and give him a ball. Like, he's on the field. Like, you know, you know, Volpe and shit. Like, like, we go to the game. I know a lot of people.

So he gets the perks. Is it. affect them yet definitely I spend a lot of time with him do you have to be this guy every time you go out does that get there's ever a night where you just want to go out and be like hey pass assault well you know what day I'm gonna tell you about gambling one thing can tell you is is that I can't gamble like I used to because of that so like I used to enjoy going a casino and me left the fuck alone it was an escape for me I can't have that anymore so like it lost it's lost you know I'm like I go and be like I eat there and I got money on the table now

that person thinks I'm friendly Mo and I'm like the fuck Addy jerk off I just fucking lost all my money because of you and they brings an ugly side to me Yeah yeah yeah So the thing that's annoying Is that For me is it's like

Okay if I turn around and I say to my wife Like you know Don't fucking yell at me in public Because people are taking pictures and shit You're like what do you think you're a fucking movie stuff But wait a second You don't think I am What are we doing?

Right You have to put yourself in the mode That you are that or you can't get there. Right. You know what I mean? No, you have to see it. Also, you only need to get caught once to tarnish you.

Well, what I'm trying to say is, in other words, is like, I think the hardest thing is. What the fuck did you just say? I'm saying, like, if he has it, if he says something questionable at a casino. I don't know what I'm talking like a mob guy. I'm around him. I just fucking want to talk like him. I think that what I want to bring it on me. Can you talk like that?

You know, yeah. Well, I can do the James Gannifini a little bit. You don't want to go to the casino and. you know you're good not bad it's a little whiny it's a little jewish you know what I meant by whiny yeah yeah yeah yeah like it's like the way the conversation goes like I'm not

I'm not I'm not I'm not insulted I don't give a fuck if you're insulted I'm I'm not saying in a bare way yeah yeah I know to get not insulted yeah yeah what I'm saying is it's like a cultural thing yeah we use our hands it's like more of like a bar everything's like a bar

yeah Italians use their hands the Jews they annoy you I'm gonna tell you like You know what's the timing thing that Jewish guys do to me? As he'll say, they'll say, like this, they'll go, hey, Mo, you doing good? You're making money? Like, it's always money, right? You're making money? And then I'm over the top, so I'll get defensive.

And I'll be like, yeah. You know, and I'm like, you know, you're making money doing it? So I'm like, yeah, I left the business building skyscubers. You think I'm not making money? And then what I mean? I'm like, see that skyscraper right there? I built that. I saw it like.

They can't be positive. Jess Carson always used to talk about that, that the guys would come off. Like she would sell out huge, huge clubs, theaters, and whatever. And when she would talk to Jewish guys, they'd be like, can you make a living at this career? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They always ask me that. Like, if you can make money. So I like, I'm used to that.

So I'll lie. I embellish it, like, raise. How many days a week are you on the road? Right now? Yeah. Like three, four, five. I just did a month. When you come home, do you just, you're home with the fam?

I try, yeah. I just went through a couple days home, but I'm like, I'm a, Ben's a tough age for a boy. Yeah. That's when the dad, you know, that's when they're, you know what I mean? And mom is not as the same as the dad. Yeah. There's something about.

Well, I would say, I would say. I have a 12 year old. Yeah, so it's tough. It's tough. When I'm leaving, he's like, you got to, I remember when I wanted, this is the worst thing. He'd be like, you know, dad, you got to go tomorrow. I'm like, I got to do it. And he's like, do you have to?

And I was like, fuck, because I never had a dad. You know what I mean? So now I would just be like, I want to cancel everything and just sit. That was the hard, dude, I got to go, but I'll be back. You know, that's why I changed my whole schedule. I don't do fucking Sundays. You can suck my dick. I'm home with my family having dinner Sundays.

And I could have made more money. I probably could have done a lot more things. but I made the decision to sacrifice chasing. I chased this business for 20-something years. And then when I had my kid, I was doing well at the time. I had a TV show, blah, blah, all that crazy shit. But then when he became the age where it affected him

that I wasn't around, I was like, listen, man, I can't be gone every fucking weekend. I got to sacrifice this much money. I could make this much money. and have those shows that are good or bad, whatever, or I'll just make what I need to make and make whatever gravy to live the life I want to live for him. My friends have started to, I'm 35,

and my friends, I feel like I start to hear them say things like that, where they're like, I could make twice what I'm making, but I'm willing to feel it back. Like one thing with me is I'll tell you this. Not even in comedy. Guys will go away forever and away from their kid forever. You ain't getting that back. You'll never get it back.

I don't care. You can say I should have, could have. or woulda, that's why I always respected Louis as a dad, because he, even on his TV show, you wrapped it four, because he had to go pick his kids up. That's a TV show. And he made sure that he,

where the production office was right down the street from where they lived. His apartment was right here. He got his ex-wife, an apartment over there. Everything was in this thing so he could be in their lives. And I was like, I, you know, for me, you know, not having a dad, there was like,

I don't want to be, I don't want to go and chase this fucking thing and that for him because you know you want to chase if you want them to have a better life but I feel like he doesn't give a fuck about that he cares about me sitting on the couch

fucking off of them and having fun and making them laugh yeah than me being away you know what I mean you don't need to like what are you going to take them to nice resorts no I mean I still he still gets the perks and stuff like that and in my brain I was like maybe I if I what am I going to make an extra couple hundred grand a year

okay that would be nice that would be fucking nice but there'll be a time when my kid's gonna tell me to fuck off when he's with his friends today is not that day

it's just not right now you know what I mean right now it's coming I think that like I feel like sometimes like I go home and I'm like damn like life goes on and I say something

before you say that I did what you're doing earlier like you're in that fucking heat right now you can't fuck with that because that doesn't come along.

When you're going through, I don't think happens all the time. It's, it's the right, like I said, the right time, the right place, the right guy. And you got to,

that's, that must be hard for you to. Well, I'll tell you guys, I saw I'm kind of segueing into, like, talking about support in the family. Yeah.

It's like, it's like, all right, I do a fucking show in New York and my fucking agent comes down and says, I get your tour. Yeah. And we get a fucking tour

in the Northeast, and we saw a 38 out of 40 shows. on weekdays. Yeah. And then it's like, all right, we got a fucking 70 show tour. Yeah. So my wife's with me so long.

She's not going to go. She understands that this is not, this is kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity. She's been with me through all my struggles. Right. And now she's like, you know, she's got to be like, okay, I have to support it.

I don't, I, you know what I mean? So it's like, I can tell you is I, people like asking like why I do this and say, well, my father, you know, my father had multiple maluloma, cancer, bone cancer and my father multiple myeloma yeah yeah mine too same exact uh m d m ds yeah that's crazy yeah my father's still life he survived yeah yeah yeah my father's still alive he survived got cancer no i don't know my dad my dad doesn't talk to me oh you know yeah no my dad's still

live we'll talk about this on our podcast yeah well well so my father multiple my own so my father had um you know he suffered for 10 years and he worked we worked I left school of 14 to work for my father. So, you know, cats in the cradles type of story. My father, you know, left school. My father was a really smart guy. His father was illiterate. He had his own business. He forced my father to go to work for him. Um, and then my father hated him for it. And then I did the same thing. Like, it was like, that's repeating the thing. Yeah. So I always hated work, but I would always joke to get through work because it was miserable. My work was miserable. We worked early in the morning. We worked all fucking night, physical labor. And,

What I'll say is my father would laugh, like, and say, like, you know, you got the gift of gab. Like, you're going to find something and it's going to work for you because, you know, it's like I'll make up a story. He's like, you got a Rubik's cube, right? And it's like, you know, this kid can fucking figure it out, right? And then you got another kid who'll fucking peel the stickers off? Like, who's smarter? You know what I mean?

We both got the same adult. Well, one's retarded and one can do a Rubik's cube. No, what I'm trying to say. Like, in other words. I was just trying to do a joke. Yeah, yeah, but you get what I'm saying. Like, in other words, like, to me, I'm like, when you say, like, through comics, give you shit, I'm like, like, fuck out of here. You know what I had to do to get here?

You know what I mean? Like, my thing is, like, I know where I've been. I don't know where to fuck you've been. You've been chasing a fucking comedy career. 28-year-old with a notebook who's written a bunch of perfect jokes. They're not going to fucking. What are they going to say to him, you know, like. Well, do you?

No, you've only been doing it three years. Like, I'm going to have. Let me tell you something. If I keep going on a path, I'm going. I'm going to have definitely some fucking real comicators. If you don't have haters, you ain't doing it right. I mean, it is going to be what it is, but I'm ready to fucking wolf. If people, if everybody loves you, there's something fucking wrong with it.

No, I don't really love it because I respect. I'll say it again. Nobody's listening to me in my fucking show. Why don't you fucking pay it? Both of you cock suckers are in love. Fucking eat your fucking bunch of them. Yeah, yeah. No, he's fall out of the same disease, you know?

Yeah, whatever. I didn't see my dad. At least you knew your fucking sick dads. I don't even know if my dad could have cancer. I haven't talked to him in fucking 20 years. No. He could be dead. He could have mynololiosis, whatever you guys had.

Well, find out, then you can do the pod. So anyway, so I had a guy take a shot at me, a comedian. What's his name? I don't even know. His fucking name. No, his name ain't important because I wouldn't want him. I go in. Keith Robinson.

He's like, oh, I hear you open for so-and-so. I don't know who it was. And it was somebody who opened a show for me. So it was like a shot right from the start to make you like, you know, right? So he's, like, giving me shit. So I says, I'm like, shut the fuck up. Just fucking, I don't want to catch fleas. You fucking stay in your corner.

I'm going to stay over here. I don't want no fucking nothing from you. He goes out, he does his shit. Comes back and fucking cry, whatever, and I go out and they fucking go crazy. Right. And I'm like, this fucking guy wants to give me pointers, he fucking suck. And they liked me. And this wasn't a crowd that knew me.

you know so like what i'm saying to you is some people just fucking miserable and shit comics we're fine listen i'm not saying we don't like fool everybody no dude i will because i'm fucking one yeah you can speak we're fucking miserable we're miserable we like to gossip we like to fucking talk shit but in reality the the the the the funny ones don't give a fuck talent isn't afraid of talent i get support from fucking from a lot of fucking comics like Tim Dillon come to my show sitting in the back You know Shane I talk to You're not a threat

You're not a threat You're like me The ones that think that you might Oh he's doing he's getting stuff too They just scared about their own bullshit I don't get for you do You have What you do isn't even

What they're doing I could go up and you go up on the same show It doesn't matter They're gonna have fun You know what I mean Yeah But we are miserable We love to talk trash

We love to fucking sit around I see fucking comedy took shit about each other a little time. I just went downstairs and Norton and Keith Robinson both smashed my outfit, my hat, my scarf, and I was around the corner and had two waitresses to tell me I look fantastic. I walk in there, I felt like

it was a fucking, I came out of the closet. Look at the old roast back in the day, right? Like the Martin Roast and shit, right? Yeah. And you look at the different people. What was that lady? Phyllis Diller. She used to fucking wear the net. Yeah. She's a character.

Yeah, she's the ugliest woman in the world. But she's funny. Yeah, funny as great. Don Rickles. Okay. So what I'm trying to say is, like, people make it like there weren't character comedians. Like, what the fuck? When I do a character, like, okay, would we rewrite fucking history? There's fucking people like me in those errors. If it's easy to be a character, you could say, okay, it's easy to do that, right?

But it's hard to maintain that. It's also hard to commit to that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's hard. Like, you're doing you on a pumped up volume. to go on stage and commit to that to me that's what Dice does

that's a hard thing to do you know what I mean it's very fucking hard It's hard to sustain But it's also hard to be consistent with that You can be consistent with a good joke Right Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing But I always say this

You see comics And you walk away What was a joke you liked? I don't know Yeah But when you see a comic like Patrice You walked away when I saw Patrice You were fucking telling

that joke for I still tell his jokes David Tell fucking still It's like there's a difference Between you know Very funny motherfuckers Or people who are doing Paint by Numbers

Because I think it was Doug Stanhope said on the podcast At Skank Fest Yeah comedy used to be a shit job And all of a sudden people realized How easy it was to do And now everybody fucking does it But not everybody does it

You know there's people that are meant to do it I just re-listen to it It was funny. I was driving. So, one in the concept, I bring on a Roy's about. I'm going to have a Luce. Yeah, I'm going to have a Zinn. All right. I was just trying to help your fucking company out.

So, yeah, Lucy. You know what I'm? I'll give you a Zin for a Luce. I, I mean, I eat a lot of Zinn. So you hurt my stomach. I'll get me a fucking loose. I just asked for a Lucy. I did.

He said he didn't have any extra. Didn't have any of your fucking 90. He meant individual. I was my favorite. The mango-like one's good, man. I love. Lucy's good because it has a little flavor. Flavor.

Yeah, it's got a favor blast So, so I had an Italian comic I had a Italian comic with me A buddy mine who's an Italian comic And I was like I don't I was like

I can't have Italian comics On my show Why? Because it becomes like When I'm doing this It's too gimmick Yeah, yeah Yeah

And then what happens is When you're doing like Seriotical jokes You look like a racist You had Danny on your show The exact opposite of an Italian I want people the opposite of me You know

Should have him open for you We're too similar So I have a black kid On a row with me You know Because I'm trying to figure out I'm trying to figure out Comedy immunity

What did you say? I want comedy immunity You want what? I want comedy immunity Why don't you get a gay black lesbian trans That's what I'm saying Community immunity

I'm immunity Don't be an ass You know I wasn't I wasn't I don't be an asshole I'm sorry Listen man I'd really

Comedy and mutiny because it's like, all right, he's got a black guy on, you know. He's just doing a guy. I've been reading a book about a mutiny. So, that's what I heard. Mutiny on a bounty. Yeah. So, so. I got a bounty on my thing.

What I'm saying is, and, and, and I like black comedy. Right. You know, I like animated comedy. Right. Is what I'm saying. I don't know if that's a real thing. Black comedy is a real thing, right? Black comedy, the comics are animated?

Well, they're not cartoons. You know what I'm saying. Yeah. You know what he's saying, you cucka. All right? I was, you know what I'm saying. I do. The style of comedy is different.

Yeah. No, it's animated. I like animated comedy. Yeah. It's animated. I got it. Right? That's a real thing.

They move their hands around. I'm not saying I don't like the other comedy. That's comedy I like. Yeah, yeah. I like that. No, no. When I first came to New York, we all, me, Burr, Patrice, uh, fucking Gary Gallo. We all came in.

We used to call New York comics leaners. Because a lot of New York comics, they'd go on the thing and they'd lean. I do that. And they'd be like, no, but you move around. You're running. You're running. crazy they were just lean and go so uh yeah man uh the weather and we came in and we're from boston where we're just aggressive because boston yeah very aggressive so we can be like what's

up what's up at your face you fucking weirdo blah blah blah blah we go crazy and do you know and they they hated us they hated me they fucking really hate it yeah because i went on stage i was like what's up fucking queers let's fucking go blah blah blah and fuck a stool and blah blah blah i do all of crazy shit and I'd murder and they would go up with this leaning shit I'm like so yeah New York and it's like you can't you're not gonna go off after me

or after Patrice you're not following it with that leaning shit and they would hate us for that and it was like fuck you dude you can figure out a way to be funny with whatever the fuck you're doing don't you try not looking like you're you hate what you're doing you don't want to be there

yeah that type of shit yeah because I mean You play Boston? Yeah. They love you, right? They love me there. I thought they were going to hate me. Oh, Boston.

I was like, oh, you know, the fucking Irish don't like Italians. Actually, currently in the chat, someone on Patreon, high slices says, Moe, your shows in Boston, you killed. Thank you. Currently, well, listen, the Yankee thing, there's nothing better than fucking Yankees. Well, I do these skits with the Boston kids. We love New York. So I got a big following there. I love the Boston.

The guys at the Delhi, right? Yeah, yeah. What's their names again? Chad, which his name is Bersuto Poppy. Right. call them chat and Tommy yeah those guys are like huge yeah they're great they're good we I don't know them but they they they seem yeah well I'll so they do these videos they all do well yeah but my videos with them like I think particularly do it well right like we have a good synergy

together yeah yeah most New York against Boston yeah we do this and they're like they're very good with reaction like when we do our shit that's completely improv right there's no nothing like we just grab like well what kind of uh suit do you have I got a grinch outfit I got a whatever the outfit. I just went and did five skits with them. Like, I'll fly out there because I just know the content's going to hit. So I'm like, I make it a thing now, like, where I'm like, I'm going to go out there once a month and do shit.

I think those guys are funny. They're funny. Fuck, I had them bring me out and boys. Did they really work at the deli? No. No. They don't. No. That's just the stage. Right. It's just a free stage. No shit. Yeah, well, that's what's I'm saying? Like, like, you know, what's that place in Chicago? Oh, we're going to

that's by Zanis. And it's like you know, Dan Aykroyd and them all came out of that? Second City. Second City? Yeah. Like, I feel like, like, something like that would be...

I feel like something like that would do really good in New York again. It's coming back. It's coming back. Really? Yeah, they're coming back in, yeah. Here? Yeah.

It's not popping, though. It's not really don't know. Not yet. Yeah, he can make it pop. And Second City just opened in Brooklyn. Yeah, Second City just opened up. They got UCBs back. In Brooklyn.

Williamsburg. And how do I live? I'm from that neighborhood. Well, you're on the road. You're on the fucking road. Let's go. All right. Do you want the food?

I can give you the restaurants. You're fucking slow as shit. You're stuttering, frick, motherfuck. Stuttering. All right, I'll do it make it quick with you. Pizza. What's your favorite pizza in New York? Joe's.

No, that one that just opened. Oh, you're one of them. He's one of those. I knew this would happen. You can have a place that just opened to be the mouth. But hey, but I agree with New York is vintage. Me and Paul Veras, you do a podcast. bone to pick, you got to come on.

I come on here. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to have you on that. There's me. Look. You get tickets for my fucking show. What kind of glasses of those? Those are some company game to me, man. I'm a guy who takes shit for free, you know? Look at it. We took over the podcast again. What's the fucking favorite pizza? Luigi's and Park Soap is a place I love.

Lucali's, I love. Mark's a very dear friend of mine. But that's not a traditional pie we grew up on. No. The thing in New York, you've got to have for Micah Chairs. You've got to be orange for Micah Chairs. I've got to punch you gotta have punch if they don't have that if they don't have that they already ain't the best spot yeah okay they're dressing up a pick what does your place have wicker chairs you eat pepperoni

in a slice yes and you're jewish that's fucking haram yeah yeah yeah i mean that's i i break it um i've been off pork recently though i will say but pepperoni hides the pizza you can make yeah yeah yeah yeah that's really yeah ironically what is your favorite what is your favorite pizza That one, I mean, that one that just opens series, spelled in C-E-R-E-R-U-S, in Little Italy. It's incredible. But this is the thing, is that there's two categories of restaurants, right? Like, the restaurants I used to cover the ones I would work with. What's the name is short?

I think I'd talk to these people. Maybe. I think somebody reached out to me from them. They never cut a deal. You really get sidetracked easy. They didn't cut out. Well, I'm just, yeah, I'm here for a good time, you know? I'm not trying to.

Don't bash your ex-employee. I'm not bashed. I didn't. What did I say? I'm still working for them. Oh, you still work for them? Yeah, a little bit. You love them?

You love them? You love them? You love them? You'll let them know. Hey, Eater. Eater. Cut a fucking check. Don't act like a...

I don't even know what they would... What would they... Fill in the blank. Do you like to eat? Cutter check. Don't act like a... Um, uh, an Arab. I was going to say...

My phone didn't like it. My do lingo was like, no. All right. it's tough so like there's there's places that are really good for about in toronto what the fuck you you know about new york pizza that's true i've been here for 15 16 years doesn't matter you don't i didn't i wasn't born into it you don't ever ever no you don't get it already over a new yorker because we wouldn't let you yeah yeah yeah that's why we said the important internet when he said connect we were like the fuck at the new haven't i mean new haven's pizza it's good but this is the

difference i was circumcised with a pizza roller listen we can end the show but i mean what Were you? With a... Yeah. This is what happened in the Navy. He watched it happen. This is what happened in New Haven, but I'm going to end it with this. All right.

Somebody was driving in Connecticut, and I'm fucking hungry. Sure. Like, we were going to eat. And they stumbled upon this place. And the place was way better than they thought it was going to be. And they said, this fucking pizza is great. But it still doesn't mean it's the best pizza. It's the best pizza when you're in fucking fucking fucking...

I mean, look, I got to fight. Listen, it's... Sally's just great. Sally's, they've been making the same pizza for 100 fucking years. years, sallies. I'm getting it tomorrow. Modern pizza.

No, they got good pizza. It's a different pizza. It's a different pizza. And they cut it different. And they cook it. I do like it. So when I did the show in Connecticut, they brought me pizza.

Yeah, dude, that pizza is different. It's incredible. New York pizza is a different thing. It's incredible. I like the thin crust pizza. I don't like the fiasia thing I don't eat. They don't eat that either. They like the dink crust.

Garbage. I know. I like a double-decker tour bus. How about that? You're a fucking piece of shit. I like that shit. No, you don't. Anyway, because somebody buy tickets in St. Louis.

I'm giving them away for free. Tickets in St. Louis are free. I sold 11, so we're giving the rest away for free. You could buy autographs for me later, and I'll make money that way. Houston's selling good. Charlotte, I don't give a fuck about. Greenville, we got like 40 tickets left that Greenville is completely sold out due to a friend of mine who basically is like the mayor of fucking Greenville.

Indianapolis, we'll figure it out later Detroit will sell out I'll partner with a pot company Levittown's done Atlantic City we'll do We'll knock that out Mahek and son will knock that out And we got another like 50 dates

We just didn't add them yet What's your website? www. www. Little MoMod'srella.com Spend a few dollars Bring your wallet Leave your feelings at home

How you don't What's your punch up? My punch up is fucking Little Mo Punchup I don't know Muchup dot live slash Little Moe If punch up paying you No you've been throwing a lot of punchups around it

I do it I'm doing it now to piss Danny off because he told me I do it too much so I like punch up when you tell me to that no I don't like about punchup but I got one thing basically bunch up when you go on punch up this fucking thing makes people not realize how many shows you got

you got to go to like see more they got to work on that bro you know what it does can I tell you Mo it brings up the show closest to you first yeah so it's just showing you the show that's near you that you'd go to. Instead of showing

your 50 fucking dates and you're going to scroll through, is he going to be in Houston? It says, fuck it. Boom. Houston comes up first. So it's actually genius. Anyway. Wow.

He's champagne from him, right? No, not at all. I was pro punch-up pod I've been on. Listen, what is your, what do you got? Punchup live.com slash is that you? Yeah. I don't know why Danny fucking decided to pull up my Instagram.

I know you and I didn't even realize that was you until just now. Yeah. What is your, where are you going to, where are you going to be? And I didn't even know that was you. Mo, look at my finger. Mo, Mo, look at my finger. Mo, look at my, follow my finger. Stay right here.

What's your fucking website? Oh, it's, uh, punch up. You guys should do a podcast. Bro, it's hilarious. I talked to him online. I didn't even know that was him the whole time. You talk to each other? Yeah.

A little bit, yeah. Oh. Yeah, I'm going to talk to you before. I'm away. Spit it out. I'm doing nothing. I'm, uh... You're so weak as a person.

I thought that was going to spin back into positive land. That's hilarious. I didn't even realize that was you until you to split your picture up. Um, I'm like, oh shit, I know this fucking guy. Get it out. Punchup.com slash Daniel Janine. Punch up live. And plug the new podcast.

Who doesn't follow me? Whoever to fuck brought that up. Oh, Dan love my, I have a new podcast where I interview chefs called Dan loves to chat. All right, good. All right. Check them out. Very funny. Check him out.

Which is actually doing well. Danny, what do you guys got? Do it fast. Don't do it anticlimactic. Follow him on Instagram at Danny Braff and come see me headline colonial comedy in Morris Town, New Jersey, December 12th. You'd rather I did that? This is Joe Russell.

go to the YouTube, type in the cheese show. You should have Moe on your cheese show. Come on down to Bay Ridge. Bring your sister. You can follow me on Instagram ad, Zachary Unlimited. Thank you so much. I go to punchup.org slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. I'm going to be in Point Pleasant this weekend.

So weak as a person. And then, I was just joking. You're a fucking fine person. It's just not as powerful and as charismatic as him. Sarasota, Florida McCurdy's, Poughkeepsie. And Green Village I'm going to be at the Comedy Works In of course Denver

Go to my punchup Find it on my day It's the best It's one of the best clubs And Batavia I love that comedy vault One of my favorite This is your thing

Oh you love punchup Well it's just easy You know I like about punchup You can upload your videos You get a mailing list And you find it Where you're popular I don't know how to mail from them

Dude you get a minute You find it anyways We can't talk about Because Danny gets all fucked up Listen Oh you don't like it No No, that's not Danny.

That's the other one. I like it. I just don't think the fans care. All right, dude, who gives a fuck? What's this town? Batavia. I think good in Chicago. Outside of Chicago.

This club is amazing. Comedy Vault? Fucking great. You got to work that club. Anyways, we're going to go to Patreon right now. You guys are the best fans in the world. If you want to go to Patreon, Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, we have questions for these guys that we're going to go over right now. And we also do an extra show over there every week.

If you want to support the show so I can pay you. Spend some. fucking money, you cheap motherfuckers. Stop spending it on on bullshit. I'm going to be really charismatic and powerful on the Patreon. Oh, we have another show? We're going to do a quick one. I don't care.

We have questions from the fans. We'll see you guys next time on. You know what, dude. How you done? How you doing?