Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #617 | Strip Club DJ | Josh Adam Meyers & Jessica Levin

Episode Date: December 14, 2025

Jessica Levin and Josh Adam Meyers join the show and discus the disaster concert where Josh and Mike Finoia got into it at MSG. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact. The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all. This podcast is so fun and crazy. It has no rules. God, I hope you're ruining this. Where's the Bargana, man.

I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This isn't NPR. That's what this podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original. Your wallet holds your most important items. Replace your worn-out old thing with the new Ridge 2.0 wallet. All Ridge wallets are made out of premium material like aluminum, titanium,

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dot com. Save up to 45 for up to 47 percent off your order during their biggest sale of the year. After your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them you know what dude sent you. What's up everybody? I'm Robert Kelly. And this is the you know what dude podcast at the comedy seller at the comedy seller studios i've got a great show for you very excited i have somebody who i know very well and then i have somebody i just met right now actually just before uh today we met uh Danny who do we got we have Josh out of Myers and Jessica Levin and what are their credits Danny Jessica I mean why don't you read the credits to just because I mean so I don't tell you every time you say the name

And then you read the credits. Why are you mad to an autistic kid? Because that's how they learn. Better than beating them. Learn their social cues. Danny, what do you got, buddy?

Jessica Levin has a brand new special out on YouTube right now called Party Body and Josh Hedomiers, you know from the 500 podcast. And also the comedy jam. Don't forget that because that's a... Some pretty new credits. You know. It's came back from a European tour

with Jelly Roll and Post Malone. But that's not yours. That's theirs. It's true. I had nothing to do with it You can never Oh free letter I'm hanging out of coattails baby

You know me We all are Oh I know We all are We all try to get My coattails all dickers died Patrice is dead Hoping Anthony are gone

Me and Dane don't talk I got this guy Oh Fucking Christ And you get Joe Joe DeRosa Who has the professional Coataler of the fucking century

Oh now he's Dude if they If a comedy scene pucks up in Des Moines, Iowa he'll be the first motherfucker to buy a house. I'm thinking, dude, I'm moving to Des Moines. What do you think? But you got a good one. You got a good one now that I'm touched like a finger of

his coattails. Because it's, I was there for the beginning of the new birth of the bonfire. Right. For tummy time is when it started. Yeah. Because if we don't do if we don't do JFL nasty show with with Jhosting and you closing. Yeah. You might not be

on the bonfire. Well, here, I want to explain people the, the, you're right about this. This is interesting. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck is. I mean, I kind of, I'm people. I'm old. I'm going to give you I'm 44, so I know. I'm 55. No, I mean, I haven't been around. I'll be 46 on Friday. Forty four. Really? You look great. At 44, I was still getting hard ons in the

morning. Well, good for you. I love, I'm glad. Forty is the best. I'm like in my 40s. Oh, 40s are a lie. I have to take a Cialis. My 30s and my agro. Because it was just a drunk. I'm shooting some of stuff into my stomach. Yeah. Yeah, you and me both. I'm on

Manjaro. Oh, I didn't day. Yeah, I know you you didn't do that. I got the fucking stomach surgery and they came out with it a month later. Oh, no shit. Oh, is that how, really? Well, they tried to get me on it years ago, but I was so like, I can do it myself.

Right, right, right. And I couldn't. So we're doing, we're doing JFL together and he wouldn't, and I remember when we first started becoming friends, like when you did San Diego and I drove down there so we could hang out. Oh, we smoked bats.

We smoked bats, but that was when you were probably, what some would say was at your largest at that point. Well, first of all, I didn't know that. Of course. You stepped on a scale before you met up with them every night. I know, that means he went back and said, Bob got fat. Billy Burr was like, dude, I've been talking to him, dude.

He won't fucking lose weight. He's been up and down my home fucking. I found out about tortgasms. Yeah, motherfucker. You got fat. All right. Also, you, I didn't know. You went from Puerto Rican to fucking albino.

Like, how did that happen? They said I was a sexy Italian when I was in New York and then I moved to L.A. and became a fat man. But no, but you said I was my friend. fattest. I just, I think from when seeing you, because the first time we jam together was at the jam at JFL, and that was when

you're doing sex drugs. Yeah. And that was like, I don't think you were. You were a little chubby. Yeah. And then, dude, there's a picture of me, you, Lecca, and then Billy Bonnell before we went out to smoke a cigar. And yeah, dude. And then we hung out again when we did, we all did the nasty show. Okay.

And this is where I just thought How long ago? I'm sorry. This is 2022. July, three years ago. Jay's hosting. He's closing. I'm opening. Fun show. But it would always be, they'd be like, what do you guys want to eat? And you would be like, can I just have a

ramekin of tuna salad? One ramekid. You can't win, though. Do you know what I mean? Either way. I had to get olive oil on it to get it to get it down. So I couldn't just eat regular tuna because it was too dry and I would

dump. It would make me dump. So I had to put olive oil on it to give it a little something. To grease up my fucking stupid baby's stomach. Dude, my mom had the same surgery, and for years, we just thought she was throwing up. We didn't realize that there was like a stomach staple term for gumming. It's not a stomach staple.

What it is, it's a... Band. No, not a band. My mom in the lap. No, because the band, when I was getting the surgery, the guy, I found out that fat people figured out a hack to the band. I think it was a Hasidic Jew who found out the hat. It would be. If you drink hot tea, the band was.

will get loiter and you can eat more food. That's so fucking ridiculous. So I got the gastric sleeve as they take your stomach and here's my stomach. They just make it this big. Isn't that what Al Roker did? Yep. Yeah. I think so.

And so that's what I got. But the problem was is that I got it and I told nobody. Right. And it's not because I was embarrassed. Of course. Yeah. But I also didn't, if I wound up dying from it, I didn't want people to know I died from his stomach surgery.

That would be bad. So I just wanted to give myself a few months of like, okay. I made it through. Right. So a week after I got the stomach surgery, I'm at JFL. Okay. I still have scars. Oh, shit.

You're not telling. It's like you're pregnant, but you don't want to tell people you're pregnant so you're not drinking. Yeah, because the baby dies. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? I'm pregnant. Oh, it died. Right.

Exactly. That's exactly. Yeah. Because I had a baby die. Oh, okay. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Whatever her name was. To the dead baby. Whatever her name was. Bye-bye. I, no, I did. I remember my wife first got. pregnant, I went, me, Billy Burr and DeRosa was shooting cheat at the time

and I remember I got the call, she's like, I'm pregnant and I just immediately was like, guys, I fucking, you know, I just want to I did it. I just want to pick that. They swim! I did it! And they were like, congratulations, Doug, let's go for you, dude, I always know you'd be a good dad. And then a week later, she's like, it's in the toilet.

So I had to go back and go, guys, the baby's not there. And then, then we got, of course, we have my son now, who's 12, but we had a, I kept my mouth shut for three months. Yeah, that's So I gave myself with my stomach surgery the three-month rule. That's outstanding. So a week later, I'm up at JFL, and I'm losing weight already.

It was probably a week and a half. He looked, it was night and day. Yeah. Because that's what's so funny about, like, the human body is like, because you probably lost a lot quickly, and then it slowed down. Yeah, because I wasn't eating. I was just having protein. And Ramigan a tuna, and too.

With a nice glaze of olive oil to get it down. It had a camomile to open it up. It had to be two weeks Because for the first two weeks It was only broth And protein shakes Yeah And then the second two weeks

I could move to tuna With olive oil And that was So we were So I lost a chunk of weight Pretty quick Are you working out at all too? I couldn't work out yet

Okay You're too weak You're just not supposed to Because you rip your fucking baby's stomach open Yeah right right So I go up to JFL And And people are like

Dude you look Because I lost that initial fat in your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's where it goes first. Yeah. And the last part is your pub fat, which I still have. Okay.

Yeah, that's not, that's not, that might not go anywhere. It's the worst. Yeah, I heard. I've never had it. I heard. I don't know. Yeah, I know. Fuck off.

I know. I can't stand you. I hope you get fat. You'll get other shit. I've always had about four abs. The bottom two, they come and go depending on what drugs are on. So, so I fucking hate it. So I go up there and Jay, like he said,

Jay's there, he's there, we're on the same floor, it's like, it's just kismic, it just happened, and we wind up hanging out all day, we're hanging out and I'm eating just these little portions but I'm just like, yeah, this is what I do now, like, oh, because you're into this to, but have they seen you go through diets

though, right? Oh, fucking Jay see me, yeah. Okay, so maybe this is like, is this one really, this is like, this is like a strictest trick could be. You're like, Bobby, because even when, even when when I went down to American comedy club club, when he was like, I was always on a diet.

He was like, he was like, I can't eat, and I was this. And I go, you know, they got chicken tenders at this bat place. He goes, I get a couple chicken tenets. He's like, got a hummus plate. Come on. No carrots. Give me pita. It took very little to break me on my diet.

Well, you and they both. Every time I saw somebody, I was on a diet. Yeah. I was like, dude, I'm not eating fucking. I'm the same fucking, I fluctuated my whole life. Right. Up and down, up and down. My family still doesn't know that I'm on this.

Is it working? No, you can't do. No, we don't know. No, no, I do comedy. Really? Yeah, no. No, no, I released a special. Where are you from?

I got my dead dad's, like, fucking urn in the special, and I didn't tell him. Is it working? Is it like, are you seeing a difference? Of the Moncharo? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you're talking about her dad on the day. Is it working? Yeah, I'm coming a lot more now, actually.

It's fine. You know what I don't know. It's, I feel sick when I take it. And then I'm like, but it's, you know what it is is cut out the food noise. But I did a lot of work. I got a nutritionist and shit. I got a therapist. I got, I did all the fucking things.

I hit 40 and I was, and I had whatever. And then I was like, all right, I got to fix shit and I want to work shit. So I did it. And I've always gone to the gym, though. I've always worked out. I've just been a fat kid. Even when I was an athlete, I was always chubby, you know? Like, even my skin is, like, when you were on, uh, what's with Colin Quinn, God bless, that awesome show.

Like, you were still bulky, but you could tell, you know, I've always had fat face. I always worked out and I always, I always got down to shreddedness. I never did. I always got down. There was always times where I would come back. make a run at it and become sexy bobby again yeah and then i would just lose control but the problem was every time i would get fat again i was bigger yeah and bigger yeah and bigger to the point where there was when i was 360 there's no coming back to sexy bobby this coming back to you look good

bobby yeah well that's what i'm trying to do yeah there's never gonna be i'm never gonna be get up to 360 first and then i'm looking good i broke three and i'm okay like really Yeah. I do it's blows my mind. I'm not going to name the comic. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I am a drug addict. Can I just stop you really quick?

I'll never gain weight because of that. I'm going to stop you really? When a person goes, I broke 300, you don't go. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're right. But it's all good.

I don't give a fuck. I've been called fat by my brothers, so I don't give a shit. But it's just still, but food is a fucking, you have me. You're 100% right. You're 100% right. I had the worst reaction I could possibly. It's, oh, do you want to fuck? I want to say this, though.

But who's a drug? Who's a drug just like heroin? I want to hear, the way I do it. I want to hear Josh Beech. We're getting to Josh Beech. Okay, sorry, Josh. Well, because this is a disorder of mine, which is that I've been vain my whole fucking life.

You? Really? I know, hard to believe. I know. Hard to believe. But also because of drugs and the supplements I take, and I'm such an addict that I work out. And then I found out there was a comedian that during the pandemic gained like 75 pounds.

And it's just like, because there's the idea, like, my mom, she's always been overweight, right? There's nothing she could do. She got, she did the lap band. She gained weight on the lap band. She started losing weight finally from the Mongero and all of that stuff. But it's like you, because some people, like you said, are just, you said it, you've always been this way. Yeah. But there's people that, like, you, like, you were gorgeous.

And then you were. You're still handsome. You're good looking, Bobby. You're looking good, Bobby. You're looking. Yeah, dude, you look great. You look great. You look great. You do look great.

This is actually the best people in the long time. And I mean that. I'm not just saying that to get out of this fucking moment. 300? Really? Three. You used to be good for yourself. Oh, wow.

Bobby, you were good looking at one point. But what I'm saying is don't you get to a place where it's like as, because you go from one way to start going up. Because like you said it is an addiction. Yeah. But don't you start saying, you know, like, holy, you weigh yourself. You're like, fuck, man. I'm like, fuck it. 50 pounds?

No. No. You don't because all of a sudden you're like, you don't see it. None of your friends tell you it. Right. Nobody cares really because they feel, I don't know whether they feel bad about it or whatever. They just talk behind your back about how fat you are and how big you're getting. And then all of a sudden you're 360.

I mean, I told you the worst compliment I got was like, dude, we were worried about you. I'm like, you never said a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody said shit. No, for me, it was just like, I, I, I'd have to do, I would, like, have to eat that tuna and, like, before 6 o'clock p.m. to lose weight.

Like, I cannot, no matter how much I fucking tried. So what happened is usually, because I also, I drank a lot. Like, I still. That'll be, that's the dead calories, yeah. And then the problem is, I wouldn't eat all day. And then I'd drink, and then I'd binge eat. Yeah, binge eating. And it would be, like, 2 o'clock in the freaking morning. Benjee, right?

Benjeeing is the replacement for affection. Heroin. Oh, yeah. For a hug or fuck. Yeah, because you do this. Yeah. Here's the thing. You do this crazy show.

It's so amazing. Thank you, good night. And then you're in a hotel alone. And the only hug you can get is from nachos. Right. Exactly right. And when I worked in film TV production, we were working overnights a lot. Yeah.

So I hated my life. So I'd be on a set of like Chicago PD at 3 o'clock in the morning in the winter. And I'd be like, all right, I've nothing else in my life, but I've got petulos, whatever the fuck. Which is like 500 pound. Don't forget the sets walk. Some guys walk around pork buns. Exactly. It's not the healthiest fucking food. The freaking Gibroans, like the people that are on the, like, number one on the call sheet,

they're getting their, like, you know, sushi. If you get bored, you can walk over to Studio B where they're doing fire peed in here. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I know. Any of the Chicago shit. Chicago's shit. I'm getting hot dogs and shit. Like, it's not like, they don't, like, they're not really into salads there.

I don't know if you know this. So it's like, it was just, so it was comfort, like you said. Yeah. And it's like, and especially as a chick comic, you think that's going to fucking change at all. I'm not getting laid from any of these dudes. Get the fucking out here. You should have some black rooms They would tap that ass, baby

Fucking love her I go all of That's about it Mediterranean rooms Yeah I love the Mediterranean rooms Yeah I love them Hamadilla I went to Dubai and I said Hamdala my pussy by accident

Oh Jesus You look you came back with your head Dude no They Dubai is like Austin Austin of Texas though Yeah They're actually funny But they did say

Like I did become like the Lenny Bruce over there because I did it and then the other show that I did it was going to they found out through a group chat and they're like are you the girl that said humdollah my pussy and I said yeah they're like that's amazing and what happens is if I did it I did it by accident on the first show and the second show I found out if I did it they would get fined right and I don't want to be that prick right it was an accident what does it mean but praise god my pussy for them though it's humdala it's like praise god so I'm just like you're so lucky you made it out of this No, man.

Devine's cool. The bad is chiller than that. I mean, you can't bring drugs, which sucks. But, like, I mean, I called the consulate, too, because I was on depression meds, and I was freaking the fuck out. That I was like, am I going to get, like, Britney Garner, whatever that bitch,

when she got caught with the weed in Russia? Yeah. So I was like, is this going to happen to me? And they have a conveyor belt when you go in and out in the airport to check if you have shit on you. Really? Yeah, it's insane.

It's really insane. And they're all wearing, you know, listen, I'm used to ascetics. You know, we go to Brooklyn. We see them all the time. But when you see a bunch of motherfuckers with the white shit That you're like, okay, this is a different Yeah, the scariest moment I had was leaving Riyadh

It was because like... Yeah, I went with Bill and then and we did Bahrain first Which was an easy end because we went like Qatar But leaving Saudi Arabia I got dropped off at a certain section because I guess I had like Because they bought me first class ticket But like the woman is completely covered And I hand her my passport

And then she you have to do like fingerprints And like an eye thing and then she just takes your passport as you sit down and then leaves for like 15, 20 minutes. And she comes back with your ticket. But the whole time I was like, oh shit, they found something in my bag. Like, what did I leave?

Yeah, I always would freak out of that. It's like, did I leave a Coke? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I haven't checked this suitcase in like 10 years. What the fuck in the bottom is? Yeah, exactly. Do you roll? 10 years?

10 year old Coke? No, not 10. Like 10 year, like the fucking suitcase, I forgot to look into it and it's been in there for like 10 years, not knowing it. You know what I mean? That miscellaneous bag you forget about.

You guys don't have this problem? I haven't had a drug addict. Dude, I've been sober for 40 years. No, oh, God bless. I can't even imagine what that's like. I've had a raw dogging life. I've had a lot of snacks. Yeah, no shit.

No wonder, man. God bless you. You do your Coke. I'm going to eat these three beds. I mean, not like I'm freaking, I mean, I did it on Halloween. I'm not like the best person. But whatever, man. You know, I want to have fun.

I don't give a fine. Now, when you went to Riyadh, I mean, everybody said they had a great time. I had the best time. Yeah. The best time. You can drink there, right? Well, so I, so I for years, and I'm already done already, but I was in Europe for about two and a half months before that. And so I started, I started having loggers and drinking there because I was like, I'm not going to see if I could do.

I didn't drink in years regularly. And it never got out of hand. And so I was enjoying it. Then I linked up with jelly. And then I'm just, we're having beers on the tour. And then I get back to America for one day. And then I immediately fly to Bahrain because that was like our warm up show with Bill. Okay.

And that was the first show I had done in, like, two and a half months without, like, alcohol. And it wasn't, like I said, getting drunk, but, dude, I was so fucking nervous for that Bahrain show. And Bill was, too, because we thought we were on restrictions of what we could talk about. Yeah, it's no politics, no religion, right? Well, originally, Riyadh gave us a long list. And we thought that bled over to Bahrain. But it didn't. No, yeah.

But Bill was laughing his ass off because I was trying everything in my power to not cuss. So I was like, I was like doing a set like Joe Biden. I was like, Jim and there crickets. And like, that's a bad man. Oh, cheese and crackers. It's like a fucking Norman Rockwell painting. And halfway in, I just break. And then I just start cussing.

And Bill and Kenny are laughing at how I went from doing the cleanest set I've ever done to doing a joke about like four fingers in my ass getting my like prostate checked or whatever. And the show went great. They were silly. They were fun. Then going to Saudi Arabia, which by the way was the first two actual stand-up shows I had done in a about a month and a half. Even though I had been performing,

but I was with Jelly, so I'm doing the music and... You did stand-up, you didn't do in the crowd. No, God, oh, no, not with Bill. I would never, like, he doesn't, if it's a comedy store or something like that, where we're all surrounded,

but not when it's like... An arena. We're in a huge arena. Yeah. But what was cool was that, dude, it was because of that warm-up show. Right. And the morning of, they said,

you can say whatever you want. Just don't talk about Muslim, not Muslim, Muhammad or the government I'm not going to talk about that anyway I just I went in on all the dignitaries I was like I can't believe y'all can wear the same outfit and flip flops and still get pussy

Like it was just You could say pussy Dude we I did the dirtiest set The first thing I did I have video because I had the fucking Because of you I got I got these right before I left And then I got the meta Shout out Anthony Aiden

Shout out Anthony Got to go I want to get another pair I'm really loving those Patty Smiths The But I wore the medas As I walked on stage and I kind of like was like come on motherfuckers and there was like a security guard

and I was like dabby up motherfucker I mean this is literally the first thing I'm saying but you know what it was and I know we all can kind of have these moments in nervousness in big sets which like I said this is probably the first big show that's at the festival we're in an arena you're in a foreign ass country

wicked foreign it's not Europe yeah I was comfortable because of Bahrain but obviously I was still nervous and then it's so funny what music will do they started playing Crosby Still's Nash and Young. You know, and it was just this moment of like...

They're people. Oh, okay, yeah. This is, it's just a show. I'd go up and have fun. And then as I'm walking stage, there's all these four like, fucking like ugly Americans.

And I was like, cool, those are you bump the shit on. And I had them. The people were they just dressed like genies. Right? I wanted to wear that outfit. It's so bad, dude. You're lucky that would be to wear that out.

We're all, every guy. I'm not going to, yeah, but I mean, you'd be covered. You'd be in a sheet. Let's get to the essence of this. Losing your hair is scary. Hems can help. Hems gives men access to a range of prescriptions for hair loss treatment with ingredients that work.

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Qatar Airlines? Oh, yeah, they're really nice. But did you do... Oh, yeah. Is it all first class on a guitar? Everything. How is that? So what's funny is I, you know, I flew first class Delta One back and forth from London.

It's fine. Not fine. It's amazing. Not compared to guitar. I know, but for the regular American, God bless America. Sure. I love Delta. I love America.

I have 1.1 million airline miles on Delta. I'm killing the game. Love Delta. Love it. Love it. Love it. Last three first class flights that I've taken, no hot food. So I complained my way at about 50, 60,000 extra airline miles.

No hot food. Dude, if I get on a flight, if I pay for first and there's no hot food, they're giving me a fucking, like we can either have cereal or a fucking chicken salad sand. What if it's a half hour flight? They only give it to you between, it has to be over a certain amount of mile. Yeah. So I don't, I don't pay for first unless the flight is over three and a half, four hours. So I was flying Phoenix back to New York.

The oven's broken. So as I was on the flight eating my cold chicken salad, I was complaining to Delta. Oh my God. You're like a union guy. It's like six and six. You're one of those? I've never complained. You never, no, I just take the hit and I have a fucking protein bar.

I have a baby's stomach. Yeah, well, yeah, I was going to say for you now. Also, being the fat person to complain about food, bad luck. It's the worst. And being white. Yeah, they go and see your profile pick and they're like, oh, God, tubby. I know. I do jokes about me being fat and there's still guys being like, yeah, fatty.

It's like, yeah, I know I'm fat, you idiot. You're going to lay it on there? Where are you from? I'm a McSprito. I was born in Jersey. New Jersey? North Jersey. But my dad's from the Bronx.

My mom's from Chelsea. So I'm the first generation over the bridge, basically. I would have thought fucking, it's a Massachusetts. It's in New England. Well, I got cousins from Lynn from back in the day. I lived in Lynn. Yeah, Lynn, Leaveson. Yeah, it's a terrible place.

Yeah, we used to pass. Is that where the Greyhound race track was, too? No, that's Revere. That's right. Yeah, Lynn Lynn, City of Sin. If you can't get it there, go to Revere. Oh, okay. Two shitty towns.

Yeah, right, right. Now it's getting built up, though, from what I understand. I'm putting a lot of money on the waterfront. All of Boston is fucking rich now. South Boston's forget about it. Charles Down is rich. South Boston's rich. The whole fucking time.

I was just it. I'm from Medford. But I was just in Boston last week for comics come home, and we went to the commons. And I'm sitting there the fattest squirrels because it's all rich people that go to this nuts store on Cal Street. They're doing a macadamian nuts. Yeah, dude, it's like, I had one squirrel come up and just like, I don't like those nuts.

And just ran away. Go to the con. They're just these fat little from rich white people in turtlenecks, just feeding them all day long, all fucking day long. But you were talking about, this is interesting me because a lot of people don't know this. We do JFL. We're all on the same floor.

We're all in the same show. The nasty show. It's its own little fucking unit when you do JFL. And we're doing it. But we wound up hanging out pretty much every day, breakfast or lunch.

We'd all go to Jay's room and do tummy time and watch documentaries on comics. It's clips. It's all clips. Clips. Well, we watched a couple documentaries. Jay is the king of

when I started open. from years ago it would be he's he is a vampire he keeps the room fucking 30 degrees as dark as dark as dark can be and he literally never watches television he just uses his computer and pulls up clips and he lies on his stomach comedy clips

so we're just talking trailers and shit like I love my thing is people getting tased oh okay no but he watch he watches doc and we watch the documentary on Joe Metterrease we watch three of them those are those are incredible there's a there's a there's a guy named Porcelain who

has made a, dude, some of the best documentaries are not on Netflix, they are on YouTube. Elephant Graveyard, fucking about Brendan Shob, about so many different comics. So I would go over there and Jay does tummy time where he lies on his belly and he watches

on YouTube. That's why he goes to Tommy Time. That's good time. So he was like, Jay, I walk in and they both lie they both lie on their bellies. Okay. And watch Jay's computer. So I just jumped in the bed and put my little feet behind my body. And all three of us were on Jay's bed doing tummy time.

It was so fun and so funny. And then we do our shows at night and hang out and go back and do tummy time. But what happened, you don't know this. Me and Jay were very close when he first moved to New York. I took him on the road with me. We saw each other all the time. And then I kind of went off and did my thing with orgasm and whatever. whatever. And Jay went off and did his thing with, you know, Lewis and Dave and started skanks.

I started this. I started. So we separated. Oh, right. Okay. Right? You lost that. Tell me time. Well, we were younger, a little more aggressive. I never did tell me to him to. So when we go to now, cut to where I'm at in my life. Yeah. We wind up being here for two weeks. Right. He's freshly stapled. He can't do shit. Can't work out, dude. And he's like, what the fuck is this? The doctor wants him laying on his thumb. Yeah. Exactly. Me and Jay pick off, like, where we left off. Right. We're just fucking, I mean, we're just making each other laugh and fucking, you know,

shooting the shit, gossiping, all the stupid shit going out to dinner, getting food. And he is, he, I didn't know at this time, but at the time, he just, he was talking about, you know, the bonfire. And he didn't know about Dan and blah, blah, blah. And he just looked at me one time and he goes, hey, if I was to ask you to do the bonfire with me, would you do it? And I went, dude, I'd fucking do anything with you. I don't care. But in my brain, I'm like, of course, dude. I love, I've always loved hanging out with you.

You're a funny guy. He's one of the funniest human beings to be around. But he's also one of the nicest. Yeah. But he's not a pushover. You know, he doesn't take shit. But he's just this sweet, generous. Yeah, I hosted for him.

Yeah, just wants people to have a good time. You know what I mean? He just wants everybody to have a good time. Very kind. You know what I mean? It takes a lot. I mean, Josh has done it, but it takes a lot to get him angry.

Well, you did it in five seconds. Well, Josh's done it a few times. It just depends on what drugs I've been on. There was Craitam, Josh. There was opiates Josh. I've been there a couple times and I've seen. And by the way, by the way, I stick by I did fuck up by not buying Fanoia a ticket that night.

But the truth of the matter is, I still got him a free ticket. Listen, here's the thing. This is why you're Josh and you won't fucking, you just, you don't take it fully. But here's the thing. I've taken it So we'll get into that That was the greatest night in my life

So look at me I love Josh But Josh is not my cup of tea You know what I mean Like but I've learned I know who Josh is now Right Like it's not

He's not a bad person He's a good person He doesn't mean well He means well No he means all the time He's just 100% Josh Right You know what I mean

I have to respect that He's a lot But I but now like there's, I'm telling you. You're like Daffy Duck? No, it's just, I've had variations where, like I said, there was, especially that run where we really started hanging out. That was when I was on that like hardcore, like basically legal opiates.

And I was just like, how long you've been clean now? Pardon? How long have you been clean now? I mean, I'm not really officially clean. I mean, I don't, I stopped drinking about a week ago, but it never got, but I only drank throughout Europe. Yeah. And, and then I, listen.

I haven't done opiates since. May 17th, 2016. Listen, Josh is Josh. And if you can say that out loud, then you know Josh. Josh is going to be Josh, and Josh will do Josh things, and you just have to call him on it, and he goes literally, oh, sorry, dude.

And it's over. I'm very, I'm not a narcissist. No. And Jay said it perfectly. Let's not get carried away. Let's not go around the N-word. Listen, I'm trying to help you right now. Let me do this.

Let me do this. Jay said a perfect way to explain me. He goes, he's like, Josh is like a train you know you think the subway you jump on for a few stops you jump off you go i'm right here and it's the way you do it and i love it that way but we had this great time he winds up saying this stuff to me i don't even think of it because to me uh dan is you know dan's dan and jay when they did the bonfire were you don't get that a lot it's two of the same guys two different guys yeah you know i mean and you don't get that a lot but it got serious when jay actually

was like dude listen i'm he called me and i was like listen you know you should definitely try to keep it together bro because you guys have something but if things come down i would definitely do that with you i could definitely hang with you every day and do the show with you and i think it would in my brain i'm like it would be good because i'm not a yes guy right i'm not going to just take your shit or let you you know i'm going to do my thing you're going to do your thing it's a hundred percent going to be different than what it was right because i'm not i don't do i think dan's dance thing is dance i've been doing podcasting with Dan for 15 years.

He is a unique, holy shit, one-of-a-kind stand-up podcaster, broadcaster, right? But I've been doing Opie and Anthony over here and radio, so I'm that guy. And my brain, I'm like, this, it would actually be a good fit. Right. Instead of just having somebody going, yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir. It would be a good fit.

Push, a little give and take. A little bit here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're all, I'm a good guy, too. We're both the same type of good guy. And you've known each other forever. I get Jay, he also makes me laugh. You know this.

He just, he makes me laugh so much. He's the funniest human being I've ever met my life. I've never met any, the only person that I, that even remotely had the reference bank is my buddy Angelo Bauer's that passed away years ago. That's like that David Teller shit. That's not like that fucking, I was like, I have no idea. I mean, we can't even suck it. It's like the David Tell shit.

That brain that just has like a reference bank. And because Jay said the best thing to me that it was like, he's like, if you ever are doing a show and. you have like a reference, even though the 90% of the audience won't get it, there'll be two guys in the audience that will know exactly the, about the saxophone player from Lost Boys that's gyrating. Well, first of all, we got to, we got to go back to Jay's was a very fat, lonely childhood where he watched a lot, he has a lot of references.

Yeah, I was in jail. Okay. You know what I mean? I didn't have, I don't, I was just a, we're just two different guys, but we're two in the same guys. And he's from Philly, right? Philly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we did that there is where the bonfire. thing happened when he asked me to do it and then it came to fruition which was crazy to me right that it actually it came out of the wire too like the week of i was like i told my wife i go this is probably not going to happen i'm i you know if they work it out that's fantastic but you know if it happens it's great too and then it happened and uh jay was very accommodating with all that crazy shit that was going on and all of a sudden i'm doing it you know and then it was a hard thing because, you know, the fans. Oh, they're all, yeah.

Oh, yeah, they're die hard on. They're not the nicest. No, no, the bonfire fans, here's the thing. The bonfire fans, when you would go on the bonfire, they're the greatest, you know, when you would go on by, you know, for me at least, they were just unbelievable. But for me to take their guy's place, right? A lot of those people are like, it's not the same. And it's like ridiculous to say, yeah, dude, the guy.

Of course, it's not going to be the same. Yeah, the different guy, dude. You're going to have to go find. some of the show, because if you want that, that's never coming back. And don't blame me. I think somebody said it best is that, you know, Dan

is the father that left. Bob is the father, the stepfather, the state stayed. You know what I mean? And that's what, that's all I did. And, you know, so I don't, I don't know grudges, they send me stuff once in a while. Do it? Do they really? I, but I

get it. They had like a crisis. You gave these guys. They went through the same shit with Ove and Anthony. It's like, dude, it's not. the same yes stupid yeah i get it that's how things happen so and and at this point now the fans who we we get so many new fans two and a half years now wow okay so it's it's it's it's it is what is those fans are either still bitching or gone and the new fans or the fans that were there who like to show evolved into it so it's great things die and then things renew you got to cut off the limb to let other shit out hey man it's life in general i mean piss off yeah grow up yeah i mean

but i mean it's fine take and this is the truth i know but you can't listen to the right i know but comedy and podcasting the you could see it from the reddit to the youtube videos people take this shit so fucking seriously on reddit and it's like yeah oh my god dude don't get me the philosophy people that are on there about comedy because i'm starting to post more on there especially with the special and jesus man the way they dissect the shit i'm like bro go out of your house but what do you and then don't talk to me about like i'm thinking about going to a mike i knew i knew i knew when i did a back way back in the day where it was first out Just for laughs, they go, hey, we're going to do

and ask me anything on Reddit. And I went, I don't think you should do that. You know the Opie and Anthony fans. And they're like, it's going to be fun. I was like, okay. Okay. Dude, I can't tell you how many beluga whale photos came out. And the girl at one point went, she's reading the question.

She's like, oh my God. And I'm like, I fucking told you. Yeah, dude. This is not the place. Comedy. You know, the fans come to my shows. Yeah. And listen, they don't talk.

Yeah. The ones that want to fuck with you, they're the ones that are talking. Yeah. And there is still a passion. And they feel safe on Reddit. Look, I mean, look, but if you don't have, look, if Howard Stern didn't have haters, he wouldn't have been as bad. Not at all.

No, no, yeah. So, you know, those people still listen. But the thing is, but that was when he had the most amount of haters, they had no way to get that hate to him unless they called or they complained the FCC. There's still no way to get the hate. I mean, don't go to red. 100%. And don't read, don't read your comments. Stop looking for accolades.

No, no, no, no. Well, I don't, but I like to keep the Algo going, so I'll like, I'll, fucking the Algo, whatever that is, you suck my thing. I know, I know, well, you don't need it. I know, but no, you want me, shut up, Bobby, you're doing great. Thank you, honey. You're doing great. I'm doing mediocre, but I appreciate you.

Whatever. Well, not with this, like, I'd be happy with your career. Shane Gillis, I mean. Great. Yeah. Well, yeah, I know, but like, you know, I'm, I guess I'm at the bottom right now. So for me, I'm looking up. So this is like, and I've, you know, I've known you for a minute, right, career-wise.

Yeah. So, I mean, listen, that's the thing. To have a career in this industry, as long as you do, I, I'd find that. I try to tell people all the time, it's like, I, people are trying to get there. Yeah. And I'm like, you're here now, you made it. Yeah. Because most people don't make it past open mics.

I know. They don't, they never get a chance to headline. Yeah. If you're a headlining comedian, you made it. Yeah. Forget about whatever you're doing. I'll never... But I feel...

But I've got a lot of gratitude since... Not to plug, but after... Since I've released a special, I've had a lot of... It's a huge deal. That's a huge deal. And especially... Most people have never released specials. Right.

You fucking... And it feels good. Yeah, you should. I did it at a bar. And it was everyone had all skin in the game and everyone worked their ass off. Yeah. And it was a beautiful thing.

And people coming out, like, my fellow comic gave me chairs. Like, everyone came in. And it was just like, not to sound gay, but it was very beautiful. Yeah, it was fucking great. It was just, and that is like, now I, I hate when people say make it. It's about the journey, not the destination. So it's like, let's get real good.

Yeah, it's very gay. But like, for real. You have any A's slogans? I know, but I can't. But I know, fuck off. Easy does it. Yeah, okay. Your ego's not your am ego.

I can't keep up with you. If you're pissing tomorrow. Yeah. If you have one leg in tomorrow, one leg of yesterday, you're pissing all over today. If you got shot, maybe it's a good thing. I don't know. Anyway, but I, but I, I just say, and it's just the fucking whatever.

I just want to be able to quit my day job. That's all I'm saying. I still have a day job. You have a day job? Yeah. Danny, what the fuck is she doing here? I know. What is it?

I do payroll for Fallon. That's not a bad job. Yeah. It's a great job. No, it sucks. I love Phelan. Do you make over 30 a year? Yeah.

Do you make over 50? Will you stop? Hold on. Then you can survive. Dude, I was a strip club DJ for six years. Well, that suits you, but I can't. I was very good at it. I could definitely.

I was very good at it. Can you give me a little taste? Oh, yeah. Go in the back and get you dickmush, boys. All right, it's Umbro special. All the guys wearing Humbros get half-priced dances for the next half hour. We're going to get you to come quick. Oh, my God.

I got Chlamydia listening to that. No, I was really good. But I also developed a crippling opiate addiction because I work there. Oh, think you're there? And imagine, because, see, here's the thing. It's like, imagine, because this is the thing that people forget is when you are doing a job to facilitate the career, you can compartmentalize. and to have a job that you get to be,

yeah, you're doing, you're doing books and you're doing that, but you do it nine to five, and then you're standing in a night. So imagine, we can go back because it's New York Comedy Festival right now. 2015, November 13, the night of my birthday, the goddamn comedy jam, our big introduction to New York,

sold out, hardest ticket to get, Burr's on it, Hannibal, it's sold, there's no seats, everybody's standing seven days to the fucking minute I'm being yelled at by a stripper at a comedy club in downtown L.A. I played the wrong song.

This is why I love you, dude. You love moments. It's all like this. I know. But you remember them. I mean, seven years to the day. Right.

Well, I just want to say real quick, the reason why I have a day job is because I'm in a lot of debt. Don't worry about it. Fuck you. There's nothing. I'm telling you. I'm in a shit time day. So it's like, whatever.

I wish I could. Now you're bombing everybody out. I mean, serious. Yeah. How much money do you need? Just fucking defer the student. Loans. How much? 50.

All right. Danny, cut her a check. Go to, yeah. Beautiful, great. I love it, man. Here's the thing. Can I say something, too? Yeah. If I was one of these comics that were worth a millionaire, like millions,

you wouldn't be happy. I would literally cut you a check right now and go, your debt's done. Go do stand-up. I don't get, I just don't get it. Like, why? Do you, I just don't get it. If you have 20 million in the bank and some young comic was like, dude, I got a lot of debt, you know, fucking, fucking, I'd be like, here, here's fucking money.

Go, go make some money. Can I say something? There are comics, though. Louis C.K., middle of the pandemic. First thing, calls me up. How are you doing? And I was like, he goes, can I help you with anything? Can I give you money?

I go, no. But I said this, not right now, right? But it will hit you up. But if I do ask, you know I needed. But right now, I'm doing what I do. And he literally just sent me money. Like, he just sent it. And I was like, and of course I took it.

But the thing, nobody. Why wouldn't you? Nobody nicer than a comic that's been canceled. God damn, Jeff Rosson. He was getting canceled. Offering me to play softball with him. I was like, you've never called me before in my life. Shankillus is another one.

It's just like, it's like, hey, man, I'm just going to help. When you're like, I'll do a couple shows, and then you're like, really? You're like, oh, my God. It's like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, there are some guys that are fucking amazing that do give. I'm not saying all that. Yeah. No, I know.

I'm just saying that I can't give you $50,000. I know. but I didn't come here for that. Dude, 50,000. Is the student loans? No, I mean, I'm being exaggerated. It's about like, I don't know, like 30 grand. I can do that.

I went to, I went to... I can give you five on that right now. Don't even. What did we just paid it off? Jesus Christ. I'm going to London next week. Yeah, exactly. Go have fun.

I'm like, are you really? You fuck. Good for you. What do you have no shows? What am I supposed to do? God bless you. I got fucking nothing right now. I got weekend shows.

My Baltimore show, my big show got moved to February. So I'm getting no spot. while I'm in town, so I'm like, fuck it. I'm going to go back to London and just fucking go see... That sounds great. Radiohead. Do you like Radiohead? Do you ever listen to Radiohead? I don't think so, right? No, I do. I'm not... I'm not... This is the thing. Are you a music guy?

You like music? Listen, here's the thing. I hang out with him and Jay who are fucking stat-heavy assholes about music. That's my buddy. Like, we go to concerts all the time. Yeah, what I hope did you guys? And then he drags he drags this motherfucker. Yeah. Dude, I...

Did you go to rage against the shit? with them? No, that was before. That was before. That was before. Jay, this is why Jay's cool, though, unlike him. Jay will be like, you're coming. You gotta see this band. All right, word. And I'd be like, dude, I don't know. He's like, he literally will get the ticket and be like, you just come. You gotta, you have to see this. Jay, Jay's excitement is, is not in him going, him, but he wants, like, to see me going. He wants you to experience. This is fucking great. I have such a great time. That just makes him happy. Right. You know? Corn, man. John, yeah, Josh, when Jay says I'm coming, gets bummed out. That's so not true. You get bummed out.

That is so not true. You're a bummed, because there would be moments. This is what I would show up. I have a bone to pick with you. Okay, take me that. I'm going to take you there. Let's pick it. This is why I love Josh, because you can pick the bones with them.

We went and saw Wu-Tang. This year? Yes. Which was an odd show because that was when we in, Fanoia were seeing each other for the first time which I felt horrible and I didn't think I was going so I had called me tell her the story So the story is this and I'll say this is that

I know that I have my version Please okay so I'm I'm friendly with the Mars Volta I'm finding with Cedric and they were the opening band for Deftones Yeah so I reach out and they've always gotten me tickets okay and so I say I say to Jay I go hey man I can reach out

Cedric said you know I said he said We're coming around if you want tickets we got you right so I reached out to ask for a certain amount, then Jay out of nowhere goes, hey, I bought tickets because I want to make sure we got Florida. Now, let me, let me, I know Jay side, Jay bought tickets because he wasn't sure fucking Marz Volta, whatever the fucking dumb thing. Whatever, whatever, whatever, fucking Lord of the Rings, bolted.

Yeah, whatever shit, whatever show that we're not showing up for, because we're getting hamburgers first, whatever. Which if you go to Madison Square Garden, get the cheeseburger. So he was, his thing, because I know the backstory. was like, look, I got to get these tickets. I want floor seats. I'm going to get tickets for me. My daughter, right?

No, Chris. The four of you guys. He basically. His daughter, Christina, me. Okay. I just don't want to. He's being a little wishy-washy, right? He was being like, I'm working on it, blah, blah.

Blah. Yeah, I don't know how wishy. Well, he was being a little wishy-wise. You couldn't say that you couldn't get. You're confident. You know he was being a little. Because Jay bought tickets. Oh, he's like, fuck it.

I'm sorry to get him. Jay is very specific of what he wants. Yes. He wants floor. No, he wants floor. He wants to be on the floor. He doesn't want to be in the seats. It's deaf tones.

He loves them. Yeah, right. I say, listen, Cedric's always hooked me up. This shouldn't be an issue. But then he got him and I go, okay, cool. Then I go, I only need to grab one ticket. Then he said, we need one ticket from Mike. No, there wasn't, that wasn't, that was not involved yet.

I said, I said, cool, I'll only get one ticket. And then a couple days later, he goes, well, hey, I was like, can he get two because I can invite Fanoia. He's a fun concert hang and I go, okay, cool. Now, we have to preface this too. We got to go back to Super Bowl where I go down to get

subs with Jay, remember? And it was just weird that night we, because this is when I was on the fucking illegal open. Yeah, the junk. So I was just all like, I was high, I was discombobulated. And I would have these like spikes and like

energy when I take it. And I remember after the thing, after then, we all go to Jay's new house with me, it's me, Christine, Jay, and Fanoia. And Fanoia is just being very, like, short and what seemed like cold to me. Well, Fanoia, listen, Fanoia is a man's man. Sure. You know what I mean? He's no, no, he's just like, what's up, dude? Yeah.

He likes his, he's just, you know, I, I relate to Fanoia. We have similar lives. Do you know what I mean? Like, he has a wife. He has a house. He does yard work. I do you. We can talk about shit that maybe you, you know.

you know I don't have anything I have no wife I spent $4,500 on prostitutes in Europe I think we have a way different life But he's fucking And I'm like, what's up dude And he's like, what's up, bro, how are you?

We can have a conversation, you know what I mean? So it's Jay, you know Josh is all over the place Like he said, he's on... He's Tigger. He's Tigger. I'm a lot. That's a good way to put it.

I'm a lot different now though and I mean that. Like I, because I saw my life getting on manager of why I out off that shit. That being said, though, so I tell Jay, I'm in the thick of it. This is February. This is really what I'm really on it. Okay. And I tell Jay, I go, you know, we can't say, of course I'll get the ticket for Fanoia, but I was like, it just seemed like he didn't like me. And he goes, ah, don't worry about it. He's like, I'll talk to him, whatever. So we show up for the show.

Okay. We all meet up. It's like, hey, hugs, blah, blah, blah. We go meet by the side. And then we go in. And Jay's like, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette. You and Fanoia go get your tickets. Because I texted Ced Cedric before he goes, I need floor seats. Now, mind you, we have me, Christine, his daughter, and Jay have floor seats. We all meet outside. We're all going to the floor for the deaf tone. But not Mike. You have to be... No, no, no. We think we have floor seats because I told Cedric, hey, can you get me floor seats? And he said, not a problem.

Okay, copy. So that was where, now this is all. And I can show you all these texts. That being said, me and fucking Fanoi, we walk and we're talking, we're having a good hang and blah, blah, blah. We go to get the tickets. And they're not floor seats. They're great seats. section 109, which are like the Live Nation, like the basically where they give most comps. Okay. And I mean it's literally, so if here's the if the stage is here, we're like right first

bowl, lower bowl. And if the stage is there, we're right there. Well, you guys are in the thick. You're getting it spit. We're in the floor. We get that we get that close. We get that. We could get that close as we could have. Yeah, right. I mean, if I wanted to, I could have, for sure. I mean, I could go on the floor, anywhere

I bet, yeah. Okay. There's a difference. You think fucking five foot four on the floor can see the goddamn show he's like me dude fucking we you gotta be I'm in I'm in I was way back I'm in you can't see shit if you're on the floor dude you literally

I don't know how far front you know it's an open was it open open but here's a hip young crowd they got a whole new audience but you could definitely they did get a new audience didn't they here's the best part I could go anywhere I want it's amazing that freedom was a beautiful thing to have if you're ever going to take mushrooms

and you go to a concert you need to be on the I would have but here's as an old man my plant of fasciitis, I wish I was in the Latinxia. I know. I want to sit down with the content. I wasn't on the floor. Jake can stand up for 17 hours straight. Right, right. I start going back and forth on my feet. Right. 20 minutes into this. Lower back starts hurting. Yeah. It's a whole thing. I'm thirsty. I got no water. So, so we

we try to, when I get those seats, I try to text Cedric. Obviously, they're about to go on stage. So that's not happening. I try to get in touch with this manager. We tell the people that are working the ticket. Hey, we wanted floor and me and Fanoia are both being like Hey I bet we could try to finagle this to get on the floor And after about 10 minutes it just falls apart And so I then go fuck man Because like I want to be on the floor with Jay and I go

Hey man and I look I go we could buy tickets right now And Fanoia is like dude I can't afford to buy a ticket And I'm like I'm like fuck man See this is why I miss the old school way when you'd have the paper tickets Because you used to go down and get your friend's ticket Go up and get your buddy remember back on the day Yeah they made it risk man Here's where it goes wrong.

This is where it goes wrong. Fanoia was invited, told you're getting floor seats. It's all taken care of. We're going to get seats. And then we're going to get floor passes to. We're all going on the floor as a group together. Fanoia is friends with Jay. I'm friends with Fennoya, but he's there for Jay.

Everybody's there for a focal point, which is a lot of the time, by the way, is here's me. here's Josh here's Mike and here's Jay and we're all going to Jay when you go to a concert with Jay you're all going to Jay right you know what I mean because he put it together so Fanoia came in the

city got through traffic parked his car right met up we're going in we're going to the floor that's what he was told right and that's what's told by him no I don't know if I said that personally I thought but then I love it

I love it He said, you said it Just say it Say it right now And if you want to sing it If it makes you feel better Everybody start clapping By the way

Come on Hey I told him And I didn't Me too So I felt like shit But I didn't know what to do So I went on Stubhub

And found two tickets I said Mike They only cost 200 bucks He goes I can't afford that I just bought a house Oh no! Would you be mad if I bought a ticket

Because I can't afford it Because I don't own property He said I don't care I see concerts all the time by myself So I'll just go up to the seat He's like don't fucking worry I like being by myself And I go are you sure dude

And he goes Yes I'm sure I go I swear to God Don't be a woman about this bro Because Mara's Volta's about to go on In two minutes And they're my friends They fuck me over with tickets

And they told me I get four teeth And I really did it Now you're alone And nobody likes to be alone to the concert when all their friends are 50 feet away and join themselves on the floor. And now again, I'm standing alone trying to dance by myself.

I look like a weird open because I'm bald and weird. This is where it gets funny. This is where it gets even funnier. Because this is where it gets really funny. Mind you, I'm in the background. I'm usually in the middle of this shit. I'm not. You're quite.

I'm just watching the Josh effect happen. Wait, it gets better. It gets better because this is full force. I'm just on, I'm like blinders. Just, I got to go see Mars Volta. They're going on because that was the whole thing. I was like, dude, I don't want to miss him. And Mike's like, Mike's like, for no, he's like, go, dude.

Go enjoy your band. Don't worry. Don't worry, bumy. This is to a guy that was like, he doesn't like me. And now he's like, dude, you mind if I leave you alone? And go hang out with Jay, Bobby. It's Josh, right? I'm going to go hang out with everybody.

I'm going to go hang out with everybody. Can you stay here alone and be by yourself? for the constant. What I should have done. As a man, I'm going to tell you, as a man, as a man, as Mike, if I was in his position, you have to say, you cannot say to another man, I'd be lonely. Yeah. Josh, I know we're not close friends, but if you leave me right now, I will feel really sad.

I think I bought him a burger, too. That's like, yeah, man, he's $20 for a burger. And then I just like, oh, my God, you're $20 for a burger. Now he's just a whore. That was just a chick you fucked. Hey, man, it's a good burger. That's a good burger. So I run down.

I run down. I buy my... Meanwhile, wait, wait, wait. While he's doing all this, we're waiting... It gets better. This is... I'm sitting there just enjoying it all.

I'm looking at Jay. You don't know yet. You don't know yet. Because you're not there. I know, I know, dude. How do you know? Because what happens is I run downstairs. I get my wristband. I go into the area that...

And I see Jay. and Jay's like, I went, I left to go get water, right? And I come back and there's something wrong. Well, you didn't see me though. No, I didn't.

No, he came when I left. So when I come back, Jay is heated and panicking. So we went from, this is great to Jay's like, fuck. Now Christine starts doing Christine stuff where she's on a phone looking for a ticket.

Jay's trying to buy a ticket because he came and So I should have What I should have done is buy two tickets And then and then just been like Yo Jay You got fucked up

I mean I bought an extra ticket for him Can you give me the cash Because you were the one that invited him And I fucked up And I didn't get tickets We all wanted to be together Right Now that is what I should have done

Because when I had the money I could have done it That being said though I because of the drugs And my blinders And what happens to me sometimes The Tigger The Tigger effect

I just ran downstairs Got the wristband I see Jay and I can hear Mars Vult is starting and Jay's like, where's Mike? And I'm like, he's up there, and bob-de-b-bob. I gave him money, he's got a cheeseburger.

Scootle right into the thing. Gone. Now, Mike, now, I come back. This is where I fucked up. I should have been like, Mike, got to get Mike. Mike, this is the best. This is a soap opera.

This is a Josh opera. If I just would have said, Jay, he's up there. Hang on now. Settle down. You're fucking killing the story. I don't mean to bury the lead. I'm sorry.

So, so I come back and something's wrong. I immediately start smiling because I know Josh I know it's something with Josh I'm like this is going to be great this is going to be great just to have another Joshism in my life

it's not affecting me at all so I don't have to fucking deal with it and then he Christine's on the thing she's trying to buy a floor seat so she buys a floor seat but she buys it for Philly oh no

so now he bought money he bought a ticket floor seat for another deftone concert that's on her right that's not my fault but the domino effect if the bitch would have just

fucking typed in the one zero zero one zero oh no right ticket so now it's like fuck it get a so now so now Jay's like fucking just find it Jay's just like get him a tick he needs his friend Mike

listen I told you this is how everything was supposed to be it's not I'm just going to fix it I'm going to spend the money I'm fix it so Jay Jay gets a phone call from Mike where are you

I'm in my car going home, dude. Now, Sad Mike, who he said was like, nah, man, do whatever you want. Literally, when Josh left was just like this and went, I'm out. That's on him. A lot of the stuff is on other people.

But I, what a fucking God. A lot. A lot of stuff. Hang on. It was great. Marks. Yeah, right.

Mark Waltz up. Dude, it really wasn't. They played the new record. I wasn't very happy. Doesn't get any better. It doesn't get better. It does. Yeah.

So now, Mike's. Jay is Jay feels like his friend's hurt Mike's driving back to not Brooklyn not Queens not even Westchester

fucking Connecticut that's like 25 minutes at rush hour yeah yeah no out of a seven it's like close to eight

don't Stanford forget about it and they're all motherfucker yeah so he's driving back there's no getting him back right

so we go then we have to get the hamburgers I'm starving yeah he already got his hamburgers He's dancing with a cheeseburger.

No, no, no, yeah. I went to watch the show, and I knew as I was watching that show, I go, oh, this is going to be bad. Oh, buddy, I'm in the back with Jay. Jay is just sitting down fuming. And I get everybody hamburgers, fries, and I go, I'm not getting Josh a hamburger. And he goes, fuck him. Don't get him a burger.

Because I was like, he doesn't deserve a burger. I was just joking. Yeah. But it was like, no, don't get him. That was the maddest I've ever seen Jay at me. buddy jay i've never seen jay i told you jay's the nicest guy ever yeah but when you do step over the line right he he dressed josh down in the hallway of madison square garden sitting down looking up which i've never most people stand up and dress somebody down yeah he

just did this stuff where he's just looking at him like he said this thing and this is no this is the thing that because we like i'm telling you like my life became so unmanageable from from December up until i got off in june i like lost money, friendship, shit, just because I was just so high. And I remember Jay said this, and this is what really stuck out to me, he goes, he's like, I feel like our friendship has just been you apologizing for shit recently.

And I was like, oh, man. And I was like, all right, well, take another barrel. Back at it. Dude, dude. I remember he turned to me at one point. I go, don't look at me. I was like, oh, I felt horrible.

But also, there was this thing in my head. As they had a hamburger in his mouth. No, but there was this. I think, because you know what's funny is when I ran down there and just like that, that drug addict mind that's like, I got him a ticket. I can't be mad at me. I got him a ticket. Like, I still got him a ticket. Yeah, but here's the thing.

But it was the drug addicts. Yeah, you promise something that you, that, look, it's not your fault. It's not your fault that it couldn't come through. Right. But you promised something that you couldn't come through on. And one of us was alone at a concert by themselves. You should not have left. And even somebody, you should know that when somebody's, you good, you, you good, man.

And when they go, yeah, dude, go enjoy yourself. That's a lie. Nobody would ever. Felt real. Nobody would ever go to, Josh, I'm telling you. Felt real. He can't, as a man, you can't go, it's going to hurt me that you're leaving me right now. Well, it's a shitty situation to put someone to be like, do you mind if I go, like, what is he going to say?

Like, no, don't know. As a man. I should have bought two things. Let me ask you question. If that was a little kid. If you didn't want that, it's about the headache. Let me ask you question. If that was a little.

little kid, and you go, you mind if I leave you alone? And they go, no. Well, it wasn't a little kid. It was a 42-year-old ball band. And that's why he said, nah, dude, do your thing. But inside, he was going, no. I know. And I've, and that's the thing. So then, as the concert went on, it was very awkward. And then suddenly, Jay was, like, trying to get me high. And it was like, there's no way I'm getting high for

this show. Yeah, it was a little awkward. I kept looking over at Josh, and he was. And this is like, listen, Josh at a concert is fucking great. Because you look, he is fucking jamming, doing his thing. This one, he was just kind of looking. Oh, I felt dead inside. Yeah. It was so sad.

I was dancing. Yeah, yeah, it was the best time of your life. It was, it was. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, it was fine. Well, it's a bummer because it was like Jay loves deftones. And I was like, I was like, oh, man. And I knew, like I said, this is the thing is that even if I fuck up, I'm the first one

to be like, no, I know it. And I feel horrible. I really did. But it wasn't, it wasn't your fault. it was there was a drugs dude yeah okay it comes down to that I haven't apologized for anything since I got off that show so uh I think it was last Wednesday

Mike they they asked Mike to fill in for me because I wasn't there I had to go to court for something a ticket whatever okay and uh they asked Mike to fill in Mike never go back so he asked Josh to fill in so Josh was like fucking yeah and then Mike showed up and Mike was there Mike called back I was like I'll do it and so they had both of them in oh man let me tell you something how happy I was

so I called in just sat in court I called in to tell them about court and just before I was just gonna hang up I go hey do you guys ever work out

that thing from the death though he hangs up like a fucking mook here's what's good here's what's good what did you say I don't know what you say after I hung up

he was like we talked about already you'lloon or something like that here's the thing here's the thing and this is what's the God's honest truth is that because you brought it

the Wu Tang concert and like me and Jay have always seen Wu Tang together and the that's the thing that's what hang on stop okay josh has these things that will annoy you but once you understand josh he's a thing guy like we do this we always do this you know what i mean like i don't have that i don't have like uh what would you call them traditions right just j and i have always connected to our music we we met at the jam that was where i booked him first we've always sang together we've always done all this music shit we're literally we have the same

And I, look, I'm coming in now as the new guy, so Jay will always put me next to him to make, but where Josh would sit, I sit. Oh, you think there's a little. No, no, no, not with him whatsoever. I don't ever. No, no, no. As soon as Josh could move into my seat, this guy did it. What are you talking about? I'm going to tell you right now.

This is my phone. Hang on now. Hang on now. It's mental health months. Let it out. I'm going to tell you, it is mental health. Yeah, it's. BetterHelp.

dot com type in the word dude and you get 10% off there you go i help you out so here's the deal so we're i'm sitting and look i look i like being xj because he he's always leaning over telling me this or just you know because he's a music guy he's a music guy they have all this information that i don't know i've never been a music guy because i was you know fucking getting sober or fucking the time i should have been into football and the stats and music i was getting fucking high and arrested and trying not to die type shit. Okay. So I never had, I never had that in my life.

They, they did. They, they love it. But I appreciate that. I don't hate it. You never gambled? No, I didn't do it. I didn't get into shit like that. So, but the thing was, so I'm sitting next him.

So then we go out, we get our little break for food, right? I bought everybody chicken fingers and French fries. I brought burgers. Yeah, I bought drinks for everything. everybody about waters still fucking $7 a goddamn bottle okay but it's water fuck oh that's like eight bucks dude

of course of course like you should tell her what happened it's like they won't let you just take the bottle so everybody else is trying to go and we have the slowest woman that's pouring the waters into the plastic carous and it's just like of course it's Josh

it's like everybody else we would have fucking bottles without caps and gone Josh had put them on in the cups I know water's But it's not a burger What would you rather have a water or a burger With French fries You can't have one of those burgers

Are we going pound a pound? It's the amount of sodium I'll give you that That's a true faith That's a goddamn true statement This salty motherfucker You know that motherfucker Yeah you were

You were you just be the one That's it Bill Clinton used to live off those motherfuckers So we go out in the thing to whatever And we're out there And the drummer from the first band Ah, you're going to blame No, I'm gonna tell you

Like I'm being blamed for him You're being blamed for something But hang on So now He's like he goes Jay, you know, nice guy in the world Sometimes too nice The guy's like

He's like come Come watch the show with us if you want Is there space? There's not There's no space But Jay It's the guy that was just on stage He has, he can't, you know what I mean?

Yeah You have to, right? Yeah. So he, we all have to slide in there's eight people we have to slide into you know there's an eight people now we have to slide into seven seats uh and there's some douche on the end that's fucking the garden right so at the garden we all slide back in now i think i'm going back to my seat next to jay but i'm all of a sudden i'm at the end next to this guy and finoya oh right yeah and i look over who's

in my spot joshua not like i was i was pushed in that because we were forced fuck into the fucking right so you're just you found the hole hey man like the water goes hey man you got on time

did he go dude do you want your seat back bob next to you're sorry I didn't realize that we were fucking I had a number on my ticket that said 207

next to 208 and yours and yours said 212 dude check your ticket stuff I want to make sure that yours was right next step we never

right next to sit in the actual seats with the number Jay gets next to Christine. I am not a ticket. Then there's a space where maybe his daughter or a friend. No. I was there.

He's 90% of the show is cynics of fucking Justin and fucking Dylan, who fucking hates. Dylan hates that music, by the way. It's really sad. He's a nice kid, but he really upset me when he said that. He said, he goes, I don't get your old music. Oh, he did. Wow. He goes, I don't like any of that stuff.

Who's Dylan? And we got into a fucking 45-minute argument when I drove him home. We were doing... How old is this kid? He's in his early 20s. He's a good kid, but he's just, he said he goes, because I do something to God for the night in my pocket.

You guys just got a taste of your own medicine. No, it's, dude, it's, it's something. I want you just to say one thing. Yeah. When I, I'm sitting there, I go, how did I get at the end of the row? Right. Like, you guys am right next to Jay, and he's like, dude, this song and this guy, and that's meth, and this is, that's ghost face, and he did this,

and that's his son. And I'm like, I'm like this. All of a sudden, I'm on the end. And I look over And right where I was Was fucking you Jala Right

I got pushed in We didn't We got pushed in Because the DJ showed First of all It's not the fucking Auschwitz train We didn't get pushed it

You could have pushed yourself out And said Bob You want your seat back I looked at you I did look at you I did look at you You can spend fucking four days a week

With the motherfucker Oh there I get him And I get him Yeah That's it. And I get him. Now we're getting to the bones of it.

That's what you think I used to sit in on SDR. He loves being next to J, which I get. I love him. I want to my brother. Then there it is. That you were happy. But that's not what I, I didn't force my way to it. I didn't even think about it.

It wasn't like I was like, fuck you, Bobby. No, it was just like, we were piling in and that was the way it went. And you were comfortable. I'm sorry. But you could have said, Bobby, you want your seat back next to Jay? Sorry, you were face fucking a cheeseburger at the time as well. I was not.

I was done with my cheeseburger. I ate that. I only have two lights. You owe him a seat and we'll call it a day. I'm just saying this. Courts adjourned. At the thing. I was like, how did Josh get where I was right there?

I could have been next to the fucking dude that was the DJ. Yeah. I could have been hearing all this. I was like, and I'm sitting there next to Dylan and Phenoia. No offense. Yeah, great kick. Dylan's the one I got in the argument with about music. That being said, though...

Why, what's Dylan into? He's just a young kid, and he was like, I don't really get Wu-Tang. And then I was like, oh, I was like, well, you should probably listen to Tribe called Quest because he's like, I like songs with melodies. And I'm like, okay, the chorus hooks, here's tribe. And then he's like, yeah, this is terrible.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? And he goes, see, I don't like, all the new music is better because the technology is better. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And he goes, he goes, it's like, would you rather have a brand new iPhone or an old iPhone. I go, that's the worst comparison. And then he goes, okay, would you rather have a brand new Mercedes or an old Mercedes?

I go, if that old Mercedes is in perfect condition and it's one of the best cars ever made, I'll take the old car. I don't think that's still a good analogy. But it's a better one. It's a better one. I mean, that's horrible. We can't, you should be able to expand it. Do we argued, I'm not argued, it was just me just being like, like, well, who did he listen to? Like, I would not argue with Josh about music.

It's, that's like, well, no, I haven't argued about music. Different taste. It's like, you know what I mean? like, and especially with a 12, 22. Yeah, that'd be like Josh arguing with me about friendship and what you do in a friendship. You don't leave your friend. Or when you invite a friend to go to a concert.

I'm sorry. But you're another, another, another nice, like, gold star on this whole thing about the Wu-Tang show is that I see Wu-Tang's coming up. Jay hasn't reached out to me. So I go, hey, man, I'm going to go see Wu-Tang. I just got a fucking, fucking Josh-Quist. Oh, my God.

I go, hey, I go, are you going to Wu-Tang? And he goes, he goes, oh, yeah, man, we already got tickets. And I'm like, oh, cool, I go, all right, well, I'll probably, maybe I'll see you there. Because I go, I didn't know. But wait, you heard it? He texts me, he goes, I think he texts me goes, hey, man, yeah, or he calls me. He goes, listen, man, like, we are going. But Fanoi is coming with us, and I just don't want it to be awkward.

I go, all good, man. Oh, my guys are ridiculous. No, here's the thing, though, I go. Jesus Christ, it's concerts. You go, invite them both. That was a drama. I said, please, please and make them sit together.

Put the two seats. Well, listen, listen, Josh's trauma, a drama is harmless. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. No one's dying.

You just have to tell Josh, go fuck yourself. Right. And he'll be like, ah, man, I didn't know. I'm, whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I remember we're at the, we're at, what concert we're at, we all got,

I got bought all these subs for everybody. Man, you're always buying food, huh? The chicken, the... No, but what I can... It's what I can do... Right. What I can do is, no, is Corey. Corey Feldman.

Oh, yeah, that was so funny. Limp biscuit. We all go. And I, you know, if I can... Let me buy the food. Let me do something. You know, because Jay does... Jay will do everything for everybody.

And he doesn't even think about it. It's like, dude, let me just do something. Even at lunch during the day, I... Let me pay. And he's like, you sure? I'm like, yeah, stop. Yeah, yeah. Because he's so, he's a very generous, one of the most generous guys.

So, I just wish you would become a millionaire so we could start throwing us money. Instead of tickets. Help us with our, help us sell tickets. They'll just buy me fucking knick-knacks. So, uh, so we come back out, we have all these subs. And they come back and this is just Josh. And it just bug, bugged me. What did I do?

So we come back and there's Italian, there's chicken cutlet. Nice. And there's turkey. And there's 15 subs, full subs left. There's just anybody can have anything. And Josh is like, you know, this, but this is again, Josh, I don't know, do I want the Italian or do I want the chicken cutlet? Maybe a chicken color. But that turkey's looking good.

Man, you are taking. Well, food with Josh, you're in the moment. He loves food. Yeah. I love food. I respect that. I can eat a lot. He's, I burn calories quick.

God bless you. Drugs. Yeah. Hard condition. That's great. So he comes, he's, I'm just, I'm not that guy. I'm like, dude, whatever. Yeah.

He comes up to me. Well, Bob, should I have the Italian or should I have the chicken color? I was just bothering you. You're making it sound like, I'm sorry, I want my friend's opinion on what delicious treat these. You guys are very cute. No, but here's the thing. It's like, dude, I'm not you. I literally said it to my, I go, I'm not your fucking dad.

Pick a sandwich faggot. You know what I mean? And he's like, God damn. All right. I guess I'll, look at the chicken. It's so funny, though, because he had the chicken. And then he goes, nah, I won't get a daddy. But again, once you know Josh, it's just Josh.

So I say invite him to everything. I want Josh at all shit. Because he's going to make it fun. Okay, you go to a concert with somebody and it's just like, yeah, it was a good time. That was fun. Or you can go and have a fucking nice story. Josh, when you were doing that, were you hoping that Bobby would go? You know what, have all?

Have them all. Oh, I could have had all. I think I took something home with me. Because he bought so many I think I was just trying It was the same shit that I just went through With Sodor where I was like Because I saw I toured a little bit

With Queens of the Stone Age in Europe And I would like reach out to him Be like, yeah, check this out And then I'm like hey I'm going to see him They're playing the Met and I know It's that deep cut show Have you seen the set list? And he's just like he's like

He's like no dude I haven't seen the set list Thank you for reminding me for a show That I would love to go to but I'm on tour And I just write back I'm so sorry I'll just go back to talking to no one I'm just trying to connect with a god damn friend over something.

But you have to see the light in this. I was the light. I'm by myself the whole day. Me and the dog. Listen. She's gone. I got nothing.

Josh, look at me. Look at me. Look at my finger. Look at my fall on my fingers. Stay right here. Josh. Josh, you're calling a guy up, telling him how you're fucking going. You're seeing this band.

His favorite band, right? You're doing everything that he wants to do? You think I don't wish I was going on a fucking theater tour? I can barely sell tickets to Jansville, Wisconsin at the comedy cabin Is he calling you every weekend going, dude, check out this full crowd?

Nope, nope, no, I showed him the first couple shows and then I said when they released they did their first show, I said, did you see the fucking set list? I didn't say I was going. I said, did you see the set list? And then he threw back.

And then I threw back in it and I go, okay, dude, I'll just, sorry I'm trying to connect with you as a human being. Yeah, but here's a way to connect, ready? Yeah. I'm you, you're Dan. Okay, I'm Dan? You're Dan.

all right yo dude what's up what's up dude how you do it's Josh oh how'd you get my number and then it's perfect it's perfect yeah I thought you're gonna go click yeah we were giving my number no it was it but listen and and and then as soon as I said that he loosened up and he got it I was like yeah Dan is the same I mean look I think it's just you just got to get Josh You gotta give her this taste Gotta give her this is the funny thing about Wu-Tang Is that Jay says that to me

Hey man we're bringing Fanoia Whatever I go cool I'm gonna go anyway But I don't know where you guys sitting But whatever And then I go you know what I'm gonna call Fanoia Because I tried to call him before But he texted me he didn't answer

I wanted like Venmo him gas money Because he was hurt Sure But I would have venmoed him gas money And so I called Should have Venmoed him a ticket to the floor I showed up But, I mean, I don't know.

So I call him and I say, hey, man, you know, we never got to clear the air. And I say to it because now I'm off of that junk. I go, listen, I'm not blaming it on that. Yeah. You know. But it was, it was something that happened. And I sometimes don't think and I just rush to do stuff. And I really feel horrible because especially when I found out, not only that you left, it's just

and then I was like, you know, and you drove and I, you know. Keep going. Well, I fucked out alone. He was alone in a car. He was alone in a car. But I'm arguing with you the whole way. So I say this whole thing and I apologize. Listen, I'm going to Wu-Tang probably separately.

I'm going separately. So if I might run in you. But also, if I don't see you there, I saw fish is coming around. I might go see him there, too. I just want to know that we're cool. And he goes, dude, we're all good. I appreciate it. Thank you for the call, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I had no idea they had an extra ticket when I called. And then I tell Jay, hey, man, I talk to Fanoia. We're all good, dude. So I'll probably just see you guys at the show. And he goes, he goes, oh, well, I actually have an extra ticket. Now, I go, cool. Yeah. Then, this is what's funny.

as little do I know that fucking Fanoia and fucking Jay are in a sewing circle together and Fanoia calls Jay and literally says everything and then Jay calls me to laugh

at all the mistakes that I make in the phone call where I'm just like and I knew you had to drive back to like West Nyack or wherever the fuck you live and he goes and he goes

that night I told Josh that I lived in Connecticut 30 times well I didn't listen obviously I was like wait he's mad at the Apollos, so you...

No, because John... Listen, there's a Josh version, and then there's the version. Right. You understand? Mine are not wrong, but... I hear... So your brain's just like, you just don't listen. When I'm on drugs, no.

No. Yeah, but even without, like... But you're not planning the drug. But you're excited. I'm not blaming the... Listen, I fuck up sober, but I don't fuck up as much. Where you're... Okay.

Dude, that shit was like... It was like literally legal perk 30s. I was, like, in a haze. I would wake up in the morning at 6 a.m. Take a pill. Go back. to sleep to 4 p.O. Here's the thing.

Let's just wrap. We've got to wrap this up. But the thing about... I learned a lot. Josh... Josh is not a bad guy. Yeah. He's just a good guy

that does bad things to people. Right. It's not bad. We all have our shit, man. Oh, good. Listen, man. Yeah. I, you know what I mean?

I've done some terrible shit over the years that I felt very sorry for. But I've learned from them. Yeah. You grow. Oh, I haven't... I haven't not bought another ticket for somebody

that's not floor seat. Did that make sense? Yeah, sure. So when's the next show? Once the next show are you guys going out? I don't know. When is the next show? I missed a bunch when I was in.

You love LCD sound system. I remember we talked about them a lot. Well, I did the show, and then I drove to Queens and I went to that. That was fun. They do a month presidency in Queens. I'm going to go to, I'm going to do Radiohead four nights in London for my birthday.

Are you working the cellar now? No. Oh, not yet. Oh, not yet. No, no. I'm at New York Comedy Club. Okay, cool. That's great.

And your special. that you did is it is an hour uh it's 45 it's 40 minutes 40 minutes yeah and you you put this out and how is this it right here yeah party let me see oh no can we play a little bit of it come on okay i know this we don't have to if you i don't know it's okay you do it it's fine this is great this is good make it big it looks good though turn it up i had it all with a lot of handheld turn it up is it no he's gonna he's gonna play the sound okay no problem Yeah, we shot it in a bar. Why is it?

This is from Barolo, Forgo. It's so funny to read the fucking. Just read it. I want to hear. Party body. This is how you get this shit, okay? This is called a good time, all right?

Is it on the headphones today? You know, but I am fat. And, um, see, you always tie up on the fat word. Fuck, I am so done. It's my N word. I am going to use it. Yeah, it's my word. This is weird.

You're so funny. Every time we've done shows together, you always have me cracking up, man. I appreciate it. You're very, very funny. But, yeah, we shot that in a bar in a park slope. Let me tell you something. This is where I think special should be shot. Yeah, that's why I wanted that energy.

200, 200 seats or less. Yeah, this is 40 people. That's why I said 200. I was going to say 500 or less. No, I, listen, this is where we, this is where it's done. This is where it's created. That's, yeah. And this is what I love about is you can hear the laughter.

You can hear when somebody gets the joke a little more than another person. you can hear the trailing off of it and you're in the there's people all around you look at that shot right there you can see those people laughing and getting your shit right there thank you yeah thank you yeah is that the basis from okay go with the mustache because i don't know who nobody got that reference thanks he got it he got it he laughed yeah he's an autistic nerd fucking buffalo buffalo go break a table um so uh yeah but it was initially i was going to do that in new york comedy club and they were gracious and i was going to do it there but i was Like you said, my first years of growing this material was in bars and shit.

Yeah. And I wanted that energy like David Tell, skinks for the memories. Sure. And like that Zach Alfanakis, Live at the Purple. Or Robert Kelly live from the Village Underground. Yeah, whatever you got to say? I mean, how many people are the fuck, man, right here. I dick it.

So yeah, I wanted that handheld feel. There you go. So that's what it is. It's great. I love it. Yeah, man. Yeah. So, yeah, we just hit 3,000 today.

So I don't know. That's five days. Guys, go check this out. And make sure you retweet this if you can. Get it out there so people can see it. But that's fantastic. Yeah, thanks, man. It's good.

It's been great. You did something that is like, I'm addicted now. I want to do another one. 100%. It's so much fun. Yeah. I mean, it was freaking nerve-wracking. How long have you been doing?

It'll be like non-stop eight years in February because I started a long time ago before that, but I didn't, it wasn't consistent. Bread and shop went out after two months. I think you're doing pretty fucking good with eight years. Are you, do you have your own place? Are you live and? with somebody. I live. I have two other roommates. Are you married? No. Sorry. I don't mean. I'm like, fuck, no, no, no. No, man. No kids. No, I want to get a dog. That's the next thing.

Where do you live? I live in Sunnyside Queens. Oh, you live in Sunnyside Queens. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I like actually living with roommates. I like having. I like having. I like having. I get it. I mean, there are moments where I miss living with people sometimes. Right. It's just nice. Yeah. Because I'll go with the whole day with just, you know, look at the dog like, hey, what are you doing? Right, right, right.

And then you go talk to Dan and make it mad. I go jerk off again, bunny.com. I think, Dan, you think Mike will pick up the phone? Maybe Soder will not scold me again. I love Soder.

Soda's got, he's gotten so, like, I don't know, rochity. Rotchity as he's gotten older. Yeah. And in therapy, he's helping him to,

he's not, he used to be just, hey, man, whatever you want. Yeah. Now he's like, He'll just, I came into the regs the other day, and I was like, ah, shut the fuck up, you pussy.

He's like, fuck you talk to me like that for. I was like, dude, I'm joking, you fucking weirdo. He goes, don't be me, be you fucking pussy. He's like, okay, dude, I get it. So you can walk him off whatever angry thing, he comes off very quick. I mean, when I called him out and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, dude, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'll just go back to talking to no one. He immediately broke and was like, it was like, also, but dude, like, I mean,

I saw his favorite band, fuck. five times. Yeah, and you got to tell him about it. Well, no, I was, I thought it would, dude, you know that band you love? I'm, you know, five times. I'm now, and I'm not on the set list. Yeah. I'm open for him.

I'm now friends with them. I've got the actual setlist in my hand right now. Shut up and let us talk, trashy. It was. I went back to his hotel, man. It was crazy, dude. Anyway, how was, you know, Houston? Yeah.

They called me. I hung up with Robert Duvall. He's a good friend of mine. We're going to get lunch today. It's like, what? You know, Martin's Griszi? Just saw him. no god bless you know i i i was like when when i thought into the microphone josh when i said him i was like no no no i'm outside i was just i was like he's like he's like i can't go i'm so mad i'm like you're fucking doing a goddamn theater tour yeah but that's why you miss and fly out and go see him in europe right you can't do that

yeah you can he's got the money fucking do it no he can't he has to do the tour after the tour fucking fly out to milan they're still going to be on tour go see your band i can't wait to fly at the Milan. I love that he just says, dude, fly out to Milan. He's called fucking his day. Is that like odd? People don't do that? Well, I mean, he's got a wife, right? You do that because you're this rogue, rock and roll dude from the past. Like, what do you do with the dog? I'm going to bring

her to London this trip. Oh, do you? I give it to Aviva who watches like my dog, Jay's dog. Oh, okay. She's great. Okay, great. She was amazing because when I was gone, like, it was only supposed to be for a week, then it turned into a month, then it turned into two and a half months. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I didn't want to come back, dude.

I was just, every day was an adventure. It was like a most amazing trip in my life. I do envy that. Yeah, I like. I do envy that. That's why I'm afraid of a dog. When you have a girl, you get a lot. And you have a kid.

Yeah. Oh, that. Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah. The not dead one. Dad's touring fucking in Europe with Josh Adam. That's his life sick with Wolfmother. Oh, that's a good band.

Josh did step in front of me when we did the comedy jam. That's the right. No, the funniest. that's the funniest story did you sing did you sing what i don't i i did comedy gym one time i played the drums he was very nice to be oh did you you killed it i did it he was just fucking great that's the only sad part of back in black when i threw my drumsticks into the crowd and it hit a girl on the head and she walked up after she goes here and i go no that's few she goes i don't want it i thought it was some rock style there was 50 people there was the afternoon

um i'm kidding i'm sorry it was packed it was packed it was night was it was the wait was it Was it the first year? Was it, was it 2015 or was it? It was the year Yamanika did that thing. She did it. She killed it. I think that was the midnight show. It was a weird show where like there was at the catacombs.

Yeah, catacombs. The funniest story, which, you know, on the bonfire, the catacombs is a, is a, it was a rock club in Montreal. It was like, you know. Oh, is that where Queens of the Stoneage did their thing? No. No, you're right. That was, no, they just did a show called Alive at the Catacombs, which is basically them doing a bunch of deep cut with an or orchestra. That was the shit that. Call Dan and tell him about that. Oh, I did. I sent him a four-minute

video of them doing one of the rarest songs. No response. Not even a thumbs up. Yeah, he's crying in his bathroom because he can't be there. He's rolling around his money with his gorgeous girlfriend in his fucking high-rise apartment. Will you stop saying that? It doesn't matter. He wants to do what you do. You don't fucking call him up. He doesn't take a picture of his gorgeous girlfriend and all his money and send it to you and go, look what you don't have. I'd be like, actually, I'm doing pretty good myself. I don't have a girlfriend, but I do have a fucking time massage parlor right next to my house for 270. Oh, there you go. Nice. Good. Here's the thing. I take over for the

bonfire. It's a very, it's an awkward time for me. Right. Because they wanted me to kind of step in and do what Dan did. And I didn't want to, I don't, I don't, I'm not Dan, but I don't want to disappoint the fans. I don't want to disappoint Jay. So I'm trying to do what I can do to kind of go with the flow of the crew and stuff like that. You know, like I had to, you know, they have special shows for Christmas. They have special shows when they do festivals and you know we come up with ideas and i kind of took over the part of writing the scripts you know and stuff like that so i'll write a script if we're going to do something i'll write the script i mean jacob will do it oh you guys do write it out yeah we'll write it stuff

out and then like uh you know we're doing something special for uh skank fest so like i'll a couple about me and jacob get together with lou and lew and we'll i'll write the script we'll come up with ideas i'll write the script then we bring it back to them and we work it and then we'll bring it to Jay at the end and he goes in and punches it all up and makes it until we're all happy. It's a, it's a process. But I had to, not only to step in and do the show, but I had to step into, I stepped into that kind of thing. Let me pick up with Dan. Because he would, he would do that with Jacob. He would write the scripts and so, so, let me, but also, we go to the festival and apparently they do the comedy jam. Well, no. Soder has only done the jam once or

twice he hates doing it he's not a big singer I mean I I mean except for drums so I I say Jizik you gotta do it we gotta get outfits and I'm like this is all queer shit to me you know what I mean outfits well you know

but I'm like hey fuck it let loose a little yeah yeah yeah come in a guy's wearing a Bruno Sabatini hat right now fucking Boston Scali cat okay all right all right I have to do those hats I love these hats you look great no I'm telling you you look great I I wound up getting, you know, a cowboy hat and a sash or, I don't know, whatever, a shirt, and we're going to, I wanted to sing Kelly Clarkson, Josh, but the, I want, yeah, I love her.

We're going to go out. Really? You've been going to my favorite. One of my favorite. No way. I would not expect that. It's a great song. That's like my brother Jimmy, because he's like, you love Chaudet.

I think she's one of the best performers singers right now in the world. I think she's great. I love her so much. So I know, we got it. So anyways, so I say to him, I say, Hey, he goes, nah, man, you know, but it's his show. He's like, nah, it's not going to work. I know what works.

You know, so we picked Bon Jovi. So we're, I'm sitting there in an outfit at Moon Tower, which is not my festival. It's not, you know, just for laughs is my festival. Okay. Moon Tower is kind of a hipstery type of alternative thing. Oh, okay. And they've done this before. And I'm not really, I'm just like, I'm sitting there like, all right, I'm going to go on.

You feel like you're in Brooklyn? I feel like I'm out. Yes. I feel like I'm out of sorts. But I'm going to do it. So this guy, he's introducing, we're going up last. He goes, ladies and gentlemen, let me give it up. This guy is the funniest guy walking the earth.

He's one of the greatest comedians to ever be. He is right now made the biggest fucking holy, wild comic, and he's my best friend, Big Jay Okerson. And then forgets me, Jay goes, boom, I'm standing in there like this. He goes, and Bobby Kelly. Oh, oh, no. Time out. That is what happened.

We gotta go. But was there drugs? No, there wasn't a drug. The moral of the story is this, is that they didn't let me finish because I was going to, but he was like,

Bobby, Bobby, and then I was just like, Bobby Kelly. I freaked out. I freaked out, but I was going to give Bobby the fucking intro. I should have given Bobby the first intro. And then,

and then, ask a fucking Louie. You're the fucking main guy. And then in the fucking, the part where you go, I've seen a million faces. He stepped in front of me. Oh.

I don't know about that. Now you're just holding on to fucking straws. That might have not happen. That might have not happen. I'll take responsibility for all of the noise and stuff. You've never to go. I didn't step in front of you. I'll take that.

That might not happen. All right. Listen, you guys. Josh, it was good to see you. You too, buddy. Thank you. And it was great to meet you.

No, thanks for having me, man. I appreciate you. I definitely will. This is great. Very fun fucking podcast. Right now we're going to go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. And we have questions for these people. So if you want to check that out, please go to Patreon.

dot com slash robert kelly you get to ask questions and you uh and talk to these people uh right in the show live and the answer your questions if not please on youtube leave a message comment like and subscribe most of all hit that subscribe button if you watch any part of this episode please hit the subscribe button josh where you're going to uh josh where you're going to be i'm going to be uh this weekend i'm going to london obviously but then i get back i'm doing uh the atlanta punchline the Thanksgiving weekend. I'll be at the Duckworth in Charlotte the first weekend in December. I'll be opening up for

Jeff R. Curie in Phoenix for his Netflix taping and then I'm going to close out the year at the Comics Roadhouse the 18, 19th, and 20th. I'm doing a couple of jams in L.A. And then 2026 is going to be a busy year. Josh Adam Myers.com at Joshana Myers on all social.

And what do you got? All right. I got my special. On YouTube. That's the thing I'm pushing. On YouTube, party, body. Subscribe. Love it, live it. Also, Instagram at J-Lev Comedy. I play at New York Comedy Club all the time. I'm actually starting to get a tour together in the winter, so please keep and check it out.

All right, make sure you check it out. And I'm going to be, I'm all over the place. Go to punchup. Dot Live slash Robert Kelly. I'm all over the play. Point Pleasant. I'm going to Providence. I've already been there.

Sarasota McCurdy's. I'm going there. Poughkeepsies. I'm going back to Chicago, Betovi, Illinois. I'm Greenwood Village. I'm going back to to comedy works in Denver.

I'm very excited. So go to my dates and my specials up there live from the Village Underground on punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly and go to YouTube.com at slash Robert Kelly comedy

for Killbox. My special is up there. If you want to support that, go buy it at louis K.com. It's up there if you want to buy it. If not, you can watch it for free. That's it. We'll see you over at Patreon.

You guys are the best. We'll see you next time on. You know what, dude?