Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #627 | Jeremiah Watkins, Derek Gaines, & Dave Temple

Episode Date: February 22, 2026

Jeremiah Watkins, Derek Gaines, and Dave Temple join the pod to celebrate Black History Month by playing Black Trivia and moreGet the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized,affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/YKWDFor a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping,& 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://mengotomars.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. I started a social media podcast. The back. The YKWD podcast.

YKWD is back again. We're it all started before. Hey, what's up, everybody? We're live from the Comedy Cellar at the Comedy Cellar Studios. And we are here. We got a bunch of great guests tonight. I'm very excited. A couple of them are late.

But you know, that's just the way it goes in February. Where's our other guest? He's pooping to the baffro. He's taking a shit. I don't know. He's taking a shit. Oh, God. Who shits in a podcast?

A lot of people. You shit after. You don't shit before you go. Some people are really fucked up in the game, man. Oh, man, that's a fucked up. That's a power move. It is. It is.

That's a power move. Danny, who do we got? We have from the Trailer Tales podcast And stand up on the spot Jeremiah Watkins is in the house We also have Dave Temple And Derek Haynes is in the bathroom From the no need for apologies podcast

Taking a hot shit in my bathroom before the show No need for apologies man I mean look dude This is a small studio dude That bathroom is right there You might be smoking Smoking what Weed?

Yeah Dude I am sober for 40 years I'd rather have him shit You'd rather him No I don't want fun There he is. There he is. You take a shit?

Nah, just long number one. All right, because you got to fucking, why do you have water on your face? Did you pee on your face? Watch my face a little bit. Watch your face.

How are you? How are you doing, man? I'm fantastic. I just had, we were just doing the cellar. Mm-hmm. And I gave my friend

a little guest body on my show. My friend? Ben Beckis. Okay. Oh, man. Huh? No, he was killing it.

And then until he, To least it's something about, I don't know, I don't even know what it was, but it was something about, you're gay to some guy, and the two gay guys, I mean, legit New York old school. Oh, shit. Old school, like, we ain't take it. We've been to enough. Stonewall, they yelled out, and he's like, ah, you've ruined the show, you fuck. And it was, it was right at his, he had like 48 seconds left. Oh, fuck, he was saying, he was.

Messed up the dismount. The dismount. It was right. He was right there. I was like, ah, it was a great set. And it was just like, you're not fine. And he was something like, you tell a joke. And it's like, motherfucker.

He goes, like, I have been. Everybody's been laughing. And look, look, I like Ben. I don't give a fuck. I know who he is. But he's one of those guys who says what the fuck he wants to say. And, you know, he trashes liberal people and blah, blah, blah. But you need, you need, it's easy to trash a fucking Trump, dude, because everybody does.

I think it's harder to say, eh, fuck a liberal. in liberal town in New York yeah it's like that's scary shit to me but he there was but he got out of it

then I had to go up and I was just like I like gay I had to suck like three dicks um no I didn't do it I did my jokes just they're solid but he uh

he uh no he at the end I the guys loosened up they were like no you know what I mean and then I was like I just want you know something Ben's bisexual.

Nobody knows. I'm telling you right now. Yeah, his wife doesn't even know. I was like, he's gay too. I'm outing him. Anyways, it was pretty fucking tense. I like that. Look it.

I like that shit a little bit, right? What you mean? Gay stuff? Yeah, I love gay stuff, man. That's why you were on the show. Thank you so much. You sound, I'm in a diversity hire tonight? You're my gay fucking little fantasy.

Friday 13th, October last year? You hear about that? When Eddie Griffin, off on the gaze? Oh, what happened with him? Eddie Griffin came to the cellar Friday 13th, October last year. Oh, you really remember this. Because I was high, but I wasn't drinking. But he was.

He had five McCallons. I never forget. Matt fed him like five shots. And he was like, I'm going to go bomb on purpose, because I know motherfuckers in New York is pussy, right? So he came around the corner in a yellow like pajama suit. Okay. Like you ever seen like the Indian grandfathers the way they wear? So like

a two-piece white cap. And White Kango-on. White Jordans, right? White Jordans, white. Like, white, actually Adidas, but they look like glaciers for some reason. I'll never forget this. And he got on stage,

and he proceeded to try to be Richard Pryor instead of Eddie Griffin. And they didn't like that shit. And he went into the, to the fagging material, like, immediately. And the entire crowd wanted to fight him. And they almost did outside. Yeah. Oh, really? They followed him outside.

Imagine him getting his ass kicked by a bunch of gay guys in a yellow pajama suit? Are you ready for that? though, but the three gays he called gay were like muscle-bound meatheads, and they went outside and hugged each other, and they was sad. Right. I was like, y'all know y'all can fuck him up, right? But they didn't... They hugged He's a monster. Yeah.

And that was all of that. They hugged each other. They hugged each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was they were all three muscle-bound... I would have grabbed him and hugged him in between us. They'd be like, you'd like... Yeah, because I was like, all three, all can take little banana Eddie Griffin. I would have sucked his dick right there. I would have...

It really showed him. Get over here, Eddie. from this motherfucker. You know the dude that sings on the speaker? Eddie took the speaker, started to sing a faggot in the street. It was like pretty bad that night. He took what? I'm sorry. You know the speaker? You know the guy that looks like Charlie

what's the guy? I don't know his name. Anyway, that guy. He sings on the block with the speaker. So Eddie Griffin took it. Yeah. And just start seeing just gay slurs in the street. It was pretty wild. The way he was dressed, it probably just seemed like a regular guy. Absolutely. Because he had a banana pajama suit on. With a fucking Mambao number five hat.

Yeah, yeah. That's just a regular Friday night. Pretty well. Friday 13 was wrong. I mean, that's crazy. Because he bombed. That's the only reason he did it because he was bombing. I think we could hear this from...

I remember this because we were in studio and we could hear it. Oh, yeah. I think we were up here doing a show and we heard someone singing. And I was like, I thought it was the voices in my head. I was like, oh God, they're getting stronger. I have to take more medication. music is getting more vulgar, isn't it? Sounds like my stepdad.

Eddie went off that night, bro. Well, no, this wasn't even... Look at these guys got offended, but he wasn't. He was just trashing, you know, dudes. But it was funny. Yeah, he's... As long as you're trying to be funny, you can say what you want,

and you're going to find those spots. But that's why I like Ben, he says shit and doesn't always hit, and then he deals with it. Deals with it, and people walk out. That's cool. You know what I mean? I don't mind that.

You know what I mean? you, Petrush used to go up and walk half the crowd. I remember. And then he'd be like, all right, we can start now. Because you guys, you're the only ones. You're going to get it. 30 people left.

And then he went, we could start the show. That's funny you say that. I recently did a show in Jersey where I just ran a light and I just kept going. And then like, no. That's what happened when you run a light. Somebody booked me to come and do their podcast later. And they were like at that show.

And they were like, yeah, we love that. that we like so it's just weird the people like yeah the show just begun for the people once the light came on look it man it's it's you know controversy and i know you don't like controversy um what do you mean i'm all about it i know he's a fucking maniac too i think i think doing weird shit of trying to find some ang look watching a show everybody goes up and does their jokes set up punch tag i'm fine it's okay but i'm not gonna watch when something goes the only time Norton, Patrice, Keith, or Voss, or Colin would ever watch my set is when I was fucking bombing.

Yeah. You'd see them all. That's the only time the comics truly like to watch other comics. Because something fucking interesting might happen. You might get them back. You might say it might go worse. And it's something interesting about somebody... Confusion and fucking around.

And I think there's something interesting about somebody who's not doing what everybody else is doing. I think so. Especially now. Because people are so. fucking divided. Yeah. And it's easy to go,

fucking Trump's an idiot. He's a fuck. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it was so funny today when he was doing a fucking, I don't know if you saw the video.

He, Trump's doing his speech in front of the Air Force One. And some dude, he yelled out. Allah Akbar. His motherfucker. He was, huh. Ha.

This guy recording just did it for a prank. And it fucking flipped Trump out. Yeah. made me laugh. All of those guys are on their toes. I've seen a clip of that fresh and fit dude doing a speech on campus. And the kid like bent down in his bookback to give him a gift

and the whole fight, everybody panicked. Like yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, what you doing? Yeah, because people are shooting people. Oh, yeah. All the fucking time. Yeah, his line of work. Some of the guy, the trans guy just shot somebody in Rhode Island at a hockey rink. I thought it was fucking Janus, Justice Maricia.

I swear to God, that's it. That's it. That's it. Ain't no yellow tail in here. I swear I'm going to bring him a picture of that guy. The guy from Rhode Island, the trans guy who said, I was like, this is like the Olympics. Wow. Yeah, it's all fucked up.

Hey, man. Isn't it? Isn't it crazy? I miss when it was just the whites and the blacks fight. Right? Remember that? Remember that? Yeah, and once you're the Puerto Ricans in the years.

Once a year, we were all nervous about the Puerto Ricans in their parade. Yeah. It's about to be their turn again now. You think so? Oh, yeah, man. What do you think the Puerto Ricans are laying back in the cut? But they're getting so visible now, so popular. Bad Bunny.

Yeah. I'll tell you what. Open it. I love a Puerto Rican, though. Yeah, the baddest, are you crazy? They're the best. They're my fame. Love them, yeah, yeah.

Is that sound racist of me? You got really, like, glades over a little bit. Yeah. I thought you got Paglonian, you know what I mean? What's your favorite Spanish? Brazilian, probably. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Nah, I'm in the Puerto Ricans also. I think, I know where it came from. One is two things. grandfather. Those fucking Puerto Ricans are all right. New York. Not New York.

Was it New York? New York. New York. New York. New York. New York. The movie. Kids was good movie.

Yeah, man. A little weird now watching it as an adult with kids. You know what I mean? Watching kids fuck. Oh, it's terrible. It's terrible. It didn't age well. That's a young Rosario, right?

Yeah, yeah. It was a young Rosario. Yeah. Fucking crazy. Yeah, certain movies when you watch as a parent, they're a little different sometimes. Yeah. You have kids. Yeah, like Cape Fear.

When he's sticking his thumb in the girl's mouth, she's like fucking 10. You're like, Tinero, come on. That was weird. Yeah. It's weird watching it now. When I watched it before, he was going to harvest. All of them are weird, man. Shit, I just recently watched Peter Pan.

I watched Hook again. I love Hook. Yeah. Why was that weird? But what happened now? Peter, like, he came back and Wendy was old. So he was like, ew. Oh, Robin Williams.

Who's this girl? You know what I mean? She's like, all right, that's my daughter. And he's like, all right, I'll take her instead. And he's like, no, no, it doesn't work like that. And he came back and took her. Yeah. But he did love the daughter and then stayed and came back, you know, that's where he got old because he came back and married the daughter.

He married the daughter? Yeah. Yeah. Did he take the daughter? He took her to Neverland and then brought her back. Broomed her and then, right? I mean, we know. I don't think.

He took the daughter. No, he, that's why he stayed. That's the big thing. That was his love. That was the story of hook. I'm a huge hook fan, by the way. Okay. So the reason why he didn't go back to Neverland is.

he gave up Neverland for the daughter because he fell in love at first sight with the daughter. So there wasn't anything nefarious going on, so you can't talk bad about it. Okay, bro. Well, he did start an island with White privilege. He just left and called Neverland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hang on one second. It's February, and I don't like you talking. I don't like the tone that just happened. Just let them have this one. I wanted to do something today. I can quote almost that one. It is February, and I wanted to do a black history. month. Wait, did you book me because my name's

Jeremy Watkins? If you thought it was a black guy He thought it was a black guy. We fucked up. This side of the nation dickens. Jeremy Watkins, God. I wanted you on the show, but your name worked in the theme of the show. So when people No ports in his pocket.

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Support the show and tell them you know what dude sent you. Danny. Yes. Do we have this ready to go? Yeah, I have black trivia questions for We have black trivia. Now what is that how does this work, Danny? Please tell our guests. So I have one, two, three, four, four black trivia questions, multiple answers, multiple choice, and whoever gets the

most ones right wins. Okay, here we go. Question number one of black trivia. Which one of these celebrities did not do blackface? A, Dan Ay, Dan Aykroyd, B, Zach Brath, C, Al Jolston, or D. Kathy Griffin? I'm going to say, wow, that's the only answers. One of them did not do it. Wow, that's a tough one, right?

Hmm. I... Can you repeat the question? Which one of these celebrities did not do blackface? A, Dan Aykroyd, B, Zach Brath, C, Al Jolson, or D. Kathy Griffin? Zach Brath? I'm gonna... I'm gonna go with Kathy Griffin.

Kathy Griffin. Al Jolson. There's no way Kathy Griffin did. Blackface? The answer is Kathy Griffin did not do Blackface. Al Jolson did Blackface 45,000 times. That was his whole thing about that it was? Yeah.

That was the guy. Who is it? That was the original blackface. Yeah, dude. Oh, shit. That's the OG blackface. Al Jolson. Yeah. The original Blackface. That's OG blackface. That's where we got from around. It's crazy because isn't that what the screen mask is? Just inverted?

It's a photo negative of the Oh, wow. Kathy Griffin, I should have just moved out of that. I never saw the racism in that. This is going to be good. Okay, so Dave Temple has one point. Wait a minute. And Jeremiah.

And Germaine. Yeah, but Jeremy has a white. As a matter of fact, Dave has two points. You have to get two points to get to this one point. Okay. Wow. It's February. Right.

Can I at least get two fists of a point? When me and Jeremiah were in Virginia Beach. Three shifts. When me and Jeremiah were in Virginia Beach. I'm wearing Virginia Beach. Three quarters of the audience was black, and I do think that they thought they were buying a ticket to a black comedian. Oh, 100%. Oh, I thought you were setting up another question.

I was going to say, he's going to get it because he was there. Yeah. Okay. Question number two. Wait a minute. Stop. How do you do in front of a black crowd? Great. Yeah? I love, yeah. Okay. No, he means how do you do, like, do you put on or do you talk regular? It's funny if he does blackface.

Come on, Al Chol. When he brought up the names, he's like, don't say my name. Don't say my name. I know, I always come out goofy because that's what I always do. And if I'm not trying to act too cool or whatever, I always do well. You know what I mean? Because it's when, like, anytime you have fake, that's when, or like playing too like, hey, so you all like. Yeah, you don't pander.

No. Okay, good. I'm like, hey, everybody, what's going on? All right. And like, I usually come out, like, dancing to whatever hip-hop is playing. It takes around eight minutes for them to go, hmm. You know, when he walks,

hey, everybody's like, God damn, this motherfucker. I'm going to eat my wings for a minute. Tell me how he's doing, you know. It takes a, I've had all black crowds, like Magoobies. They've had majority black,

they gave the tickets away. They're not there to see me, but they got free tickets for the birthday. And it takes a couple minutes, and you break them. This is what you get. Ready? And then.

And then you get one of these. All right. then they look up at you I'm gonna give you ha ha that was good and then you'll get them they ain't giving it to you right away at all

yeah I've done plenty rooms white people do that to us too oh yeah big time I travel with Big J and I've been in places like Florida and shit like that

and those white people the same way mm-hmm that's actually a good one goddamn okay you're a funny fella you're a funny fella

you're funny fella for a black He's a funny one That's what you get Yeah that works both ways I never thought of that We're working This is good

This is good for you listeners It's both ways All right What do you got Danny Next question Next question I wish we had a sound effect Make a sound effect

Danny I'm sorry One more time Hang on guys I just realized I kind of did the By accident I did the story

Where's sound effect That's fine Do it again That's exactly it. It was a mistake, but as I did it, what if Danny was like, oh, hell no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's your sound effect, Danny?

Why did you play that? If we were smart, we would have had those. Hell no. If you got an answer wrong, hell no. That's right, motherfucker. Are we the first black guests at the month? Ethnic buzzers. Yeah.

They would have got ethnic buzzers. No. It took a while for you know like, shit, it's February. We should. No, we had all the guest books that they didn't show up. Oh, all right, okay. Thanks for... We had Ian Laura two weeks ago.

Yeah, but is that blank? What the fuck? I mean, that's up to you guys. You tell me. But is he really... It's fine. Bobby's got a feeling. I think Jeremiah's more black than the...

Jeremiah at least makes me nervous sometimes. He does, doesn't he? When he doesn't blink? He just... Yeah. All right, go ahead. What are you got? Wait, make the noise.

But it is a ring. You know how it is for his mouth to make that sound? Who is the richest black actor? A, Tyler Perry, B, Dwayne the Rock Johnson. C. Will Smith or D. Rich Voss? That's funny. That's a trick question, right?

B, the Rock. I'm going to go with Tyler Perry. Ooh. Okay. Who you going with? Who was not those two? Terry, Tyler Perry, the Rock, Will Smith. Will Smith.

Will Smith? Really? Yeah, I'm going to Will Smith. God damn it. I think you're wrong. I'm going to go. Tyler Perry. All right.

We got ourselves. We got ourselves. Black off. What do you? Oh, me and you pick the same person? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, motherfucker's. Okay.

Everyone picks somebody completely different. What did you pick? I picked Tyler Perry. I picked Tyler Perry. Oh, I thought one of you picked, I thought you picked a rock. I picked the rock. Who did you pick? You picked, uh...

Will Smith. Will Smith. Okay. Okay. The answer is Tyler Perry. Woo! What's up? White.

Oops, sorry. Don't do that. Sorry. So now, so now we have Bobby Kelly with one point, Dave Temple with one point, Jeremiah with two points. The white is spin on the panel as the most points on black trivia. Wow. That's zero.

With zero. Black is name, though. Blackest name? Blackest name. That name is insane. Well, Blackest name brings us to our third question. Correct. This is a comeback here.

Yes. And so we're going to have you get... I do have multiple choice, but before I give you the multiple choice, we're going to have you guess blindly. But that case doesn't count. What is the most common last name for black people in America? Common last name? Most common last name.

But this guest doesn't count. I'll give you options after we get your first guest. I'm going to say Johnson. Well, that's a good one. Yeah. That is a good one. I mean, you guys know. Williams?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Williams? I'm gonna say Jones. Jones is a good one. Yeah. I would say, Wachins? I would say Wachens.

Maybe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wachins, maybe. If it's your last name, I'm gonna fucking shit myself. The four options. The real options are, by the way, I was hoping you were going to go more racist with that. What? Why?

Yeah, you know, it could have been. February. Duh. Duh. Dude, two of them right here. Could beat the shit out of me and Jeremiah Watkins. Watkins, this, yeah, the T. Yeah.

Why, what's the name? The options are A, Williams. Thank you. Oh. B, Smith. C. Davis, or D. Jones. He picked Jones. Wow.

So we can all pick again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, Smith sounds like it might be there. I'm going to go Smith. You go Smith? I'm going to go Smith. Who are you going to go with? Because...

Williams? I'm staying with Jones, and I don't know what the Smith could count, because that clearly was not their name. I don't know any Williams. Smith is... I know there was... Serena Williams. I don't want to change my answer,

but I'll say Williams, fuck it. If I'm going to get zero, I'll just stick to my name. You're going Williams. You know, here's the thing. Well, and when you mean the blackest, you mean like the most black people have that name? The most people in America. We don't mean the darkness.

We're going shade or last name? By Shade. Yeah, dude, you gotta fucking let us know what's happening. Jesus, Danny, is... Like, we're talking... We talk about neighborhood, shade. Whittles Peak? Like, hot black, we're talking.

Yeah, we talking Leslie Jones. We talk about hair bumps. We talk my hair bumps, black. Like... Is it Leslie Jones black or is it Keith Robinson? Leslie Jones black is... Wow. That's, uh, that's onyx.

What are you saying, Jones? I'm still saying Jones. I'm saying, I'm a stick to Williams. But I'm trying to figure out what kind of black are we? Are we talking hairy chest black? Oh, like Taco Me black. Yeah, we're talking fist-plick black? I have so many things I want to say that I can't.

I know. I want to get in on this? So bad. But I can't. Neither can you. Look at me. Stay focused. Waves black or dreads black?

Oh, shit. I got another one. Oh, God. I think Smith, because I think it's going to be a curb ball. And also, there used to be literal blacksmiths back in the day. So I'm just going with that. Listen, dude, they didn't call them blacksmiths because they were black. I'm just going with that.

They were covered in soot, correct? Yeah. Because they were covered in soot. Yeah, not because they were like, you look black, Smith. That's never ever. I'm going to say, you said, you said Jones. Jones, yeah. Probably Jones, but I'm going to go Williams.

Okay. I wait, I didn't go. I didn't go yet. I'm going to go. Hmm. I want to go Williams. I'm trying to think of black people that I know. Venus, Serena.

Yeah, I know. That you know, what's the last name Williams personally. Yeah. I'm going to go Jones. Jones, yeah. Jones. Jones. Okay.

And the answer is William. Fuck, I knew it was William. Which now gives Derek two points because he guessed it before and after. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we didn't say that. I did. No, you didn't say you getting two points. Well, he guessed the name before we did it, before I gave the options, then stuck with it after.

So he gets two points. That's a black history month. Just let me have it. A lot of things going on way. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'd like to take out a loan, please. So now it's, uh, so now Derek Haynes with two points, Jeremiah with two points.

Bobby with one and Dave with two I think Alright So it's Dave two It's two two and one Yeah No doubt Okay I'm not bad I thought you point

And Bobby I have bad news for you You are definitely the loser because You said your hand on fire You have officially lost because you're not even able to guess on the last question Why? Because you're going to know the answer Yeah but that's not fair You can't have the games

Well you lost No that's not how you play games When you see the question, you're going to know why it doesn't work. Well, no, I should be able to get a point. I can't, you can't do that. Okay, so you have to guess last because you actually know the answer. Fine, fine. But you're cheating if you guess.

All right, fine. How many black people were at all five of Bobby shows last weekend at the Denver Comedy Works? First of all, I don't remember that. We have... How many at all five shows? Combined. Well, that depends. Was it billed as Bobby Kelly or R. Kelly?

It's not our guy. I'm going to give you a hint. Not R. Kelly. Robert. Robert Kelly, man. I get people on Instagram supporting me all the time as R. Kelly.

Mostly women. People are like, I'm behind you. I'm like, thank you, baby. He ain't getting out until 2045, so that's crazy. Well, I'm going to hold it down until he gets out. That's right. That's right. Hold it to fuck down.

He ain't getting out until he's 78. You got it. He took over his career. Oh. And Bobby just started doing the thing with the Zoro Mask. It's the remix to ignition. On Fresh at the kitchen. Do you have your passport?

Bobby asked me, do you have your passport? Do you have your shots? To see the rebirth of Bobby like that. That would be great. Because everybody, Bobby Kelly is hard. There was one time. I don't know whether they were doing something here or you were coming from something. But literally, I was standing in front of the cellar and you came in and you had on like this Christmas shirt that had like a little elf hanging from me.

for a tie. And I fucking bust out laughing. And I'm like, Bobby, you look fucking ridiculous. And went out batting and I, he shoots me these daggers. He goes, yeah, that's because you don't know who you are. And he's just fucking walks in it. It's like psychological. That was like a, I was one of them brain twists.

Yeah, it was a good one. He didn't have time for it. He was like, I'm not doing this with you right now. Yeah. I made him think for a second. I don't know what. The rest of the night, just walking down the street alone. Mind, fuck.

That was for you. He was a year. He went to CVS. He went to CVS to get one of those sweaters? Maybe this will help. Maybe I should. Who am I? I'd tell you what, there's nothing scary when I see you two fucking knuckleheads late at night in front of the Philadelphia.

But we have a good time. As soon as I see, you got, here's the thing. You guys are having an all right time with these new motherfucker. And then I walk up and we start trashed. It's pretty bad. We start going, look at this fucking hillbilly. We get viciously mean. Bobby gets like great.

It's like, fuck, great. But it's also funny because all of this. assume Bobby's going to side with them. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm with these guys tonight. I'm not signing with the fucking white ghost hunters. All right. Okay.

Here's the question. Look, how many black people were at all five of Bobby shows last weekend at Denver Comedy Works? A, that's five shows. Five shows. Thursday, two Friday, two Saturday. Yes. Okay.

A, one to ten. B, 10 to 30. C, three, four. fifths of the crowd or D, I couldn't tell it was dark out there. That's a trick question, guys. The three-fifths of a crowd. Jesus.

It was pretty good, though. Danny, he's got to let you guys know. He's like, I'm a comic. I'm available. I'm right. I'm going to put my two cents in there. Let me get my little two cents. I'm going to go A. I think there's like nine people. Oh, three to ten? One to ten?

Over five shows. That shows a lot about how you feel about your friend. That he can only bring one In Denver? In Denver? Why? Why? What? Then again, Denver got a hood.

Because no? Is that what you're saying? What are you saying? What are you saying, Jeremiah? I'm just saying. What about Denver that does? They don't have black people? No.

I mean, I just don't think you draw on in Denver. John Lassner from Denver. Yeah. John Lassner, he's from Denver. Blap. Blap? That's his app. It's a good app.

I don't know. Okay. I was about to put you on a spot. I was like, pull it up let me I have it I have his app now I know you do because you reach for it

to show yeah right you got black app yeah I got it yeah downloading that you have to be confident you can't let them know

you can't you can't show fear I'm gonna say B I think what what was that 20 to 30 20 to 30 yeah I give you that I think you're funny man

funny, funny. I hope black people come out to see you. Me too. It's 20 to 30 if Patrice's fans would have definitely fucking showed up in debt. You know. 20 to 30, all 5 shows you're 30. 20 to 30. And you say A, 1 to 10. I like the way we turn. Oh, you're picking 9. Yeah, 1 to 10.

I'm going to say, I'm going to say, not to be a little controversial. I'm going to see the last one. It was two doctors to tell. The answer is B, 10 to 30. 10 to 30. All right. Moving on up.

You're funny, nigga, like, I know black people gotta come. So you're funny. So I'm like, yeah, they'd come out in Denver.

So now, is this like Fast and Furious? Are we racing for pinks? Does this studio become ours when we win this game? No, you actually get Jeremiah. Yeah,

I'm the sacrifice. I'm your new man, servant. I will follow you wherever you like. You get to pick any white guy in the studio besides me to take home with you and to do as you will.

You have a white slave for two more weeks. Jeremiah. Yes, Mr. Gaines. What would you like? Thank you, Jeremiah. Can you put the grits on, please? Of course. Just how you like them, sir.

No lumps, motherfucker. Of course. No lums. That's ten lashes. Yes, they will be the smoothest you've ever seen. The winners of black trivia is Derek Gaines and Dave Tampo tied as it should be. Thank God. Thank God.

Thank God you won. If you lost to Jeremiah, you would have a lot of explaining to Duluthi. Yeah, no, I was pretty confident. I started off a little rocky with the Al Jolson shit. I mean, the fact. I was, I didn't really know. I was ignorant on my part, but you know, I learned. It's the OG of fuck.

I mean, everybody knows. Because I wouldn't check in. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I feel bad that I just don't study enough racism. You know what I mean? Right. You got to take a phone call? It's not exactly. This is the blackest shit that's ever been done on my show.

We do business at night. No, no, no, no. If you would have put it on speaker phone and answer it on the podcast, then it would have been black. Then him excusing himself. That would have been the real situation. You're right. You know what? I should give him credit for going to excuse me.

Right. He said pardon and, you know, excuse himself for a second. Yeah, if he's just like, yeah, what's up? Hey, well, yeah. No, no, I'm doing a podcast. Yeah. But doesn't talk. He doesn't hold the phone to his head.

He holds it up. He's like disrespecting you guys to. Yeah, I'm on a podcast with these monster drinkers. Yeah, which is. God drink monster. You don't drink monster, right? Ah, no. Nah, I don't like that shit.

My heart, I'm not going to die from stupid energy. But that's how we learning now to decipher the good whites from the bat. If they drink monster, they're terrible people. These motherfuckers. If they come out with them two white hands. White devils. Guys, what about liquid death? Is that okay?

Liquid death is okay. That is cool. But that little thing of skull and two fucking, the two-fits-six, mountain, whatever those things, Monster, the claws. Yeah, yeah. Scratch marks. You ain't got to hang with us. You ain't got to hang with us.

It is terrifying when you see that somebody coming out with a 50-ounce thing, a monster, and they're getting to some truck. Oh, no. Yeah. Why is that? I never saw that. They're at a different spectrum of the day than we are as comics. Like, we really only run into them if we've had a long night. Like, if we're coming to the store 5, 6 a.m., we run into those guys.

Yeah, that's road trips. Yeah, those guys are usually off the road and in the house by like 4 or 5. Let me ask you a question. when you go on the road, and this is for you too, do you get scared to, like, stop at truck stops at night? Do you have a good... Surprisingly, no. Are you guys still afraid of, like, traveling through the country?

No. We just did three hours in Texas. We drove from... We went to the wrong airport to do Arlen, and we flew to Houston instead of Dallas, and we had to fly. We had to drive three hours just through Texas, you know what I mean?

And we were surprisingly pretty confident about it. Smoking weed, blast the music, the whole time. It's illegal, but we didn't give a fuck. It's like, yeah, I got God on my side. Yeah, he's like really blessed. What? He's really, yeah, he's really blessed, man. You think God's like, listen, you smoke up, my son.

I got you. Because that's what happened. We got to the comedy club, did the show, got the money, got the fuck back. Yeah. We sprayed the car out before we done, and, you know, we back there. No fines. I do notice sometimes when we drop in the car off, like at the rent-a-car place, it was like, wow, we really just drove through all of Illinois, just two niggas.

Like, and... Two niggas, hi. We weren't even worried. You know what I mean? That sounds like a new show on Netflix. I bet. You know, we're going to drive through all the racist states in America and just drive through it and see what happens. Next week, Kentucky.

Yeah. When I was doing college, that's black people's version of jackass. Like, hi, I'm Derek Gaines. And we're driving through the most racist neighborhoods in America. Sundown towns. Let's go. Sundown. We're going to be playing.

We're going to be playing. We're going to be playing. music loud, smoking weed, and trying to pick up white jigs. And guess what? We don't have our wallets. Welcome to Jack. Yeah. We're running from an angry mob.

They got fired and torches. When I was doing colleges, too, all of the colleges were, like, in Middle America, you know what I mean? Where you just have to, like, fly to Indianapolis and just get a car and just go from there, you know? I tell you what, I've been to some places in the country where I was scared, you know, because I don't look white, white.

Sometimes I look Spanish. And I get nervous, we're like, ah, fuck this. Some rednecks up here, man. Isn't it the crazy thing, though? Those are the only people you're scared of out there. You're not afraid of black people in Ohio. No, because they're black people. Most of the black people don't be...

Southern black people have this really... What is that? Why are you just bringing shit up and stopping the... What is that? It's the Black History Month porn hub celebration. What is it? Pornhub is celebrating Black History much like.

Did you just save me from saying something really racist and stupid? Did he has little little tabs up. Bobby's going to say something fucking stupid and racist. He's like, he's set you up. He's trying to trap you. Like a puppy.

Hey, hey, hey, here's a treat. Come here. No, no, no, no. This one's from... Danny's looking out for you. He's like, my autism spider since is tingling right now. Put up a graphic on the TV.

Bobby will direct his eyes to it. It's gay. He's going to look immediately. It'd be funny if it was you two up there. What is this? for Black History Month Pornhub is saying you should celebrate it with this guy Lil D.

And I want to know what you think about companies like Pornhub pandering. I mean, no, then everybody panders, right? Because everybody's somebody. Yeah, well, not everybody. Google does that shit. I mean, I don't know. They put the ethnic tile up on Instagram.

I went through LaGuardia the other day and there was a big banner up, Black History Month and balloons. It was blue. Yeah, green and red and black balloons. Oh, yeah, okay. That's your color, right? That's the colors.

Is that wrong? Did I say something? It was hard to say that. I'm grandfathered in on a couple of these. Yeah, dude, I get it. Hey, no, I know when to sit back and listen. Okay. I hate seeing those people have to decorate the airport.

You ever get to the airport early up? We're seeing them put up Christmas trees and shit. Well, it should be white people have to decorate for Black History Month. That'd be great. Just seeing the whitest of white dudes just putting up the balloons and the B and the H. You know, I walk by and what's B and H? It's Black History. I know.

I thought it was the photo place. The Jewish photo spot. That is the Jewish B and H. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It is. I mean, it is, you can't, but you can celebrate Black History Month, Gay Pride Month. You can celebrate diversity, but you can't say.

celebrate. You can't, there's no white anything. Yeah, it is. It's Christmas. Yon Nugger's got Christmas. It's, it's called,

MAGA. You've got January 6th. Y'all got all this shit. I'm talking regular way. I'm not talking that. We celebrate a difference this year on July 4th. Is that white?

Yeah, yeah. That's really white. Oh, we got a lot. Okay, I'm good. You get a lot. Christmas Day? Christmas. It's got a motherfuck birthday day.

Christmas white. Christmas is everybody. But y'all are on the commercials, it'd be white Christmas, snow, y'all drinking bulges. Y'all still got it, man. You're not losing it, man. Eggnog is white.

Eggnog is white. White is shit. Especially with the ladle. Y'all still got the ladle? Yeah, we used the ladle like a prom. Now, we celebrated different on our podcast this month of Black History Month. We just had a white woman on every day.

Really? Yeah, every episode. And what'd you do to her? I mean, what did you guys talk about? We actually just started to really. fun. So on Martin Luther King Day, we decided to learn about Martin Luther King because we realized we didn't know as much as we probably should. And we watched this video about lesser known facts on Martin Luther King.

And we found out all of these crazy things that we never did. That he was a piece of shit. Yeah, well, he was definitely a jack-in-jail kid. Like, he was not, like, poor by any means. He wasn't poor. Like the fuck. Well, yeah. So we got into fact that his first love was a German lunch lady at seminary school.

Yeah, at a school. working in the cafeteria and his dad forbade it. Not because she was white, because she was a lunch lady. Really? You know what I mean? So like, no shit. He didn't want to. He's a jack and jail kid.

Like he's not money. Right. Like he comes from a line of successful preachers already. He went to college at 15. Like he's not some poor uneducated black kid. You know what I mean? But we made a movie basically. We wrote a script out and we acted it out.

We brought white women on to act out and he played the German lunch lady. and Derek made Martin Luther King. Jeremiah has to leave early because you have a spot, right? Yeah. Do your comedy, man. Can you... My show is stand up on the spot, which I still want you to do someday. Dude, I want to do it, and I feel bad.

I really do want to do it. I'm going to do it at Skagfest next year. All right, do it. Just put me in. Okay. All right? Yeah, we just confirmed stand-up on the spot of Skate. I'm in.

Yeah, it's a fun show. Tell people what the show's about. It's just no material. It's all riffing off audience suggestions. Okay. So stand-ups create stand-up on the spot based off audience suggestions, and yeah, no materials a lot. It's super fun. That's great. Where are you doing it tonight?

New York Comedy Club sold out tonight and a more night. That's great. Really great show, but one of the good ones right here. No, I'm not, I mean, White. What if I asked you, that was my credit, I asked you. And he's, Jeremy Walker's one of the good ones. One of the good white. One of the good comedians.

I mean, comedians. That is a good cover story. He has a comedy show to go do. We've always been cool. There was never no beef. I mean, Jeremiah, you're going to be in right here. I don't, all right, Lafayette, he's scrolling. I don't understand why.

Okay, there we go. Oh, yeah, I'm going through the south. Lake Charles, Louisiana, Lafayette, Louisiana, New Orleans, Mobile, Alabama, Tyler, Texas, Austin, Texas. Yeah. Syracuse, New York, you know, a bunch of different places. All right, well, make sure you check about punchup. combe. Jeremiah Watkins. Before you leave, though, are you on your phone again?

What is it? They was hitting me up about a spot around the corner, and I was like, I can't do it. I'm on the podcast. That's what they was doing. Thank you. I'm sorry, man. And Monroe wanted to know, but how long is this podcast go?

Monroe wanted to come up and say hi. He can come out. Here, take my spot. Oh, yeah, dude. He can fill, before Jeremiah leaves, Ron on Hersberg would be a fucking problem. Before Jeremiah leaves,

can I tell you all something, including Jeremiah, that doesn't know last time it was in Syracuse? Oh, with the fucking y'all. What is that shit? What the fuck was that, Danny? Oh, you know, don't assimilate. You know, I'm sorry, guys.

I apologize. It was crazy. That was the cold switch, wasn't it? Fucking damn, Danny, I thought she was better in. Artistic Jew just tried to fit in. Guy, what are you got? Two times ago when Jeremiah was in Syracuse, I was featuring, and I was able to bring a host.

I'm not going to say the guy's name, but he was peeing. I was sharing a hotel room with him, and every time he went to the bathroom, he would pee on the seat, 100% of the time. And then when we were in the bathroom, in the green room, Jeremiah does not know this. Every time the host that I'm friends with would go to the bathroom, he would pee on the seat in the green room bathroom. And I was so scared that Jeremiah was going to see this.

that and get mad at me for inviting this host that every time he went to the bathroom in the green room I would go in after him to wipe up his bits so Jeremiah wouldn't see the piss. Am I that scary of a headliner to work with her like they're better this bathroom better be clean no it was like literally all over the sea it was disgusting

and I wasn't as friends with you at the time I was like my first time working with you and I was like oh you know or second I thought it was fun I don't know I don't understand it I wish I never heard it that was an insane waste of life. Dude, that was a waste of life.

It's crazy. Danny, why is that my closer on this episode? It's your piss story. I was going to have him be the white lady. Oh, the German? I would love to be the German lunche.

Can we try that real quick? Oh, shit. He'll just go now. He'll go with it. Can you do a German accent? Of course I can. All right. That's one thing.

This is, who, what are you? Are you? I was Martin. You're Martin and you're the dad, right? Yeah. All right, I'll be the mom. You remember how it go?

Just wing it. Just wing it. This is stands up on the spot. Martin's father. Hello. I love your son. Oh, no, he did. Oh, no, she didn't.

Jesus, Bob. Oh, no. The way I ask. What in the world? Jesus, Bob. All right, listen. Jack and Jill kid. How long ago, Bobby dealt with back people?

Oh, no, he didn't. Let me try. Look at this. Look at this jive. Turkey. I was doing the. temporary version. I didn't know we were doing

I didn't know we were doing a period piece. As an actor, you have to... Bobby talked to one... He couldn't even wait. Bobby talked to... He was ready. He was ready.

Bobby talks to one black woman. One black woman. And we all know the episode of Martin. I love Yamanika. And that's where I drew my inspiration from. Oh, no.

Oh, this motherfucker did not. I'm sorry. He went full yam. He went full yam. Listen, I can't say that. You can't. Why? You went full y'all, dog.

All right, stop saying it. This motherfuck as Al Jelso. I'm going to get demonetized. You keep saying that. Oh, shit. Oh, this dude went full yon. All right. All right, go ahead.

Okay, you're, your junior. Go ahead. All right. Let them wait. I'm talking to my son. That's coming to America. I can get that. Anyway.

I got it. All right. No, here's the guess. I'm going to set the scene up. All right. You guys are talking. He comes in and catches you talking to each other. And you're like, you can't do it.

Yeah, yeah. And then I come in at the end. Okay. Okay. All right, go ahead. Set it up like a porn scene. And I'm coming at the end. Like, what the fuck is happening right now?

You come at you. Martin, I can't wait to meet your father. I can't wait for him to meet you either. What is this? What is this? Who are you? Hello, I am Martin's lover. Yeah, I met her at seminary school, you know, lover's a stretch, but yeah.

Do you see what this is? I mean, she's a dirty-foot white woman, dad, you know. What do I say about dirty-foot white women? He said he kept him at least 100 yards from the house. All right. Does this look like 100 yards from the house? Not at all, sir. Let's go, son.

You, stay away from my son. But we love his child. If I can be not... Girl? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry there, my girl, just because you pour syrup on it, don't make it a pancake. You know what I'm saying? You got to go.

You got us to go, child. Now, child, Jesus loves all of us, but your accent is freaking us all out. And I don't want to. Martin, get up off the floor. Martin, get up now. Have some dignity, Mark. Child, get up, child. Let's go.

Listen, look at me. Look at me. You got to go. Corretta, unhand that white woman and let's go. I'm sorry. Don't hit me again. Mom, you had to spill the drinks on. You didn't.

That was holy water. Now, Junior, I put holy water on this. I blessed the relationship. All right. Listen, brother. Make sure you check. Joe, why do you look sick all the time?

Thank you, buddy. Jeremiah Walker's check him out. Check out his punch up. Check out of stand-up. What a fucking. Appreciate you guys. What a pleasure to have you. Thank you.

Take your name. See you. See you. See you. See you. Take about your... Also, for the people listening, if you do want an actual better act out of that,

check out our podcast. No need for apologies. It's like three episodes of my king that this thing goes on for a while. I mean, I thought I deserved a part. Absolutely. That's my adjustment. That was my adjustment.

I think my adjustment was good. The spill of the water. Very in the moment. Child. What was the pancake line? Just because you're supposed to sell butter, don't make it a pancake child. Now, you got to go.

You know it's crazy. that they do talk like that when they want to comfort you I recently had this realization because I've been home a lot and when I was a kid I was in all kinds of goofy shit but I went past this strip club

that I used to go to as a kid I was like 16 making a little street money and we were going there and just remember what that would be like for the strippers on a Tuesday night it's slow

and there's nothing for just like a pack of 16 year old boys in there but they got money you know what I mean so they come in and they have they got a dance on us do we kids

if they dancing on us and I never get this lady, she's straddling me. And she, like, does this thing when she, like, flips all the way back, like, puts her hands on the floor. And but she's still sitting on me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The way the lights are set up, I'm 16.

I'm seeing, you know, like, open cootie cat for the first time. I went, I went right forward. And this lady with her full abstent, just, like, grabbed the back of the chair, just does it sit up, comes up to me, she goes, you can't put your fingers in my pussy, baby. Wow. That actually made me hard. It's a good story. But you, yeah, but you're 16.

You don't know no better. Yeah, because that's the thing. She could have easily got my ass kicked at that point. Just be like, get him out of here. Like, Zoo just tried to finger me. She was sweet. She was sweet. She knew I was a child.

Yes. She knew you're a child. She talked to you. Listen, baby. You can't put your fingers in a little bit. Child, you can't be sticking your dirty fingers in me. God knows how many fens is you. Your chicken nuggett, 16-year-old chicken nugget fingers.

God knows how many fences you hop to get here. You put chicken-flavored ramen fingers in them. I had to be such. Got oodles and noodles fingers. That's such a crazy night for a striper. That is your business tonight. Like some 16-year-old boy tried to finger me for 20 bucks. It is a disgusting thing, though, to have your job.

Think about a stripper's job. Somebody's going to stick. I mean, I would take a dick before I took a finger. You know what I mean? 16-year-old dirty fingernail finger. Oh, yes. 16-year-old teenage finger. I'd rather take that dick that's not been in shit than a dirty finger that's been on a fence of the football.

Probably tied a bunch of shoelaces. Oh, God. Street money. You hustling hand-hand? Yeah, that's critical. That's real. Yeah. Pretty gross, man.

Yeah, I remember we used to go to a strip club in Boston called The Cabaret. It was the, there was two that were terrible. There was King Authors that was in the middle of like an oil field. It was full, like there was, in Boston, there's a famous oil, like they leave the oil in those big tanker thing, the big, you know, big containers on the side. You ever see them on the side of the highway? Yeah. Well, in Everett, they had this big field where they would deposit the oil. And, you know, the trucks, it was just all trucks and oils and flame things going up.

But in the middle of it, they had a strip club for those guys. Yes. King Arthur's, it was just fucking gross. Mm-hmm. But so good. So good. You would walk in and there was stretch marks and fucking, like, big fat nipples. Shout out there.

And just a dirty strip club was funner than any. Absolutely. The hot strip club sucked. Yeah, you can't touch somebody. You can't, you know. Dirty ones is a very expensive. Black Horse Pike. It was one strip club

on that out there me and the homies went to. Yeah, the dirty or the strip club, the better. Because it was fun. Yeah, absolutely. It was called the glass slipper in downtown Boston.

Little tiny place, no bigger than this room. And me and Patrice used to go to all the time and play closest to the pole with the dollars. Closest to the pole. You balled them up and threw them?

Balled them up and threw them to the pole. We did, D.C. Me? No, but we did that in D.C. We were to scee-mecumbos. You go to Macombos. You go to Macombos. The ball of money up and the room was just as big.

It's crazy. The pole was this and you'd sit right there. I love that Danny brings something up that I can't read. Make it big and then bring it up, Danny. This right? All right, yeah. There you go. Make it big and then bring it up.

Take it off. Oh, we have a new guy. Sorry, Derek. Cody's on the thing. Danny's getting yelled up and shit. It's all right. Which, by the way, has been the case for two years. I haven't pulled anything up in two years.

Yeah, but shut the fuck up. It's your fault. Wow. Yeah. I mean, aren't you supposed to tell him what to do? Thank you. You did it. I get it.

No, it was called the glass slipper. And I remember one of the, the girl, it was such a small stage. And they had a little ass smooges on the stage and three smooches. And one of the girls, she was like an old Mexican lady. Oh, no. Spanish said she would come down and her whole routine was clean. And she came down with bounty and a windex. But naked still?

She would take a clothes off and then clean the glass. And that was the best. I would give her all my money. I would give her all my fucking money because it's like, fuck off. How great is that? He did that. Last time we were doing Skank Fest in Vegas, he made girls do push-ups to get into the BIP stuff. What?

They wanted to come into where we were. They got to do push-ups first. How many? 10. 10 push-ups. And these chicks was getting down and doing any heels and titty's touching the carpet, come It was great. It was pretty goddamn great.

Was it a nipple to the carpet of? You didn't mush your titty. Come back. No, mush them tinnies down. Come up. I need a full push-up, bitch. And they ate you cut. And ones that did it came in.

The girls was like, I ain't doing that. They stayed out all night. We kept them out. Push-ups. Me and Cam Patterson, shut up in Cam. We threw a lot of money around. We made them do a lot of push-ups. It threw a lot of money around that weekend.

You know, people trash strip clubs. I'm not a fan of it. Oh, I am. But when you go with friends and you're having a good time. Greatest time ever. You say, have fun. And the, I mean, look, it's a blue ball situation, right?

Absolutely. You're not getting anything. Yeah, you, sure. Wow. Okay. I mean, yeah, we have, but it's not good. It's not good. Like, I take my wife now.

I'll take my wife with the crew. Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. To the strip club. Absolutely. Like, if we go on the road, my wife is cool like that. So it's just like, yeah, bring her along with the group. That's like a, that's like a secret move.

That's like a. Oh, yeah. They love that. All the girls. When I cash out, I give the bands of money to my wife. And the girls come flocking. Dude, what is that? Because women are, like, if you already have women, that's already a thing that makes it takes the pressure off of them.

You know what I mean? You're not trying to be a piece of shit. You're not trying to be a piece of shit. The other ladies have already verified. He's worth something, you know what I mean, versus going somewhere strange. And then, like, you more than likely don't want much from her. Like, if a guy's got five chicks, it's a lot easy. easier to be like, oh, well, I could just get free drinks being close to this guy, and I

have the problem being number six. Right. If I get two free drinks out of it, you know what I mean? And that's just the way they look at it, you know? Right. But if you have your wife with you, for some of that's safe, safe. Yeah, because the money's coming from her. And they get her to let me.

Right. And then that's when they want. But is she telling her to do stuff to you or she haven't stuff to you? They want to do stuff to me. They do. Because they know that as long as she's making me happy, my wife is going to keep giving her money. You know what I mean?

I'd be worried that my stingy wife would... You know what I mean? I finished, Bobby. I ran out. Yeah. I'd be like, where's the money? I used it. Yeah, Mercedes rubbed her fucking cooch all over my face.

You stingy bitch. I'll be right back. I've got to stop at the bank. Okay. I'm going to ask you a question. Strip club? Massage baller. Well, I never go.

all the way at the massage partner. I'm sorry, what? You know, the whole thing, you know, the rub and tug. Would you stop them? No. No, I wouldn't stop them, but it's never happened. So you don't go to those?

I mean, I've been to the massage. I've been to actual massage. But when they go, when they're going to go, oh, look at the, like. Yeah. I've never seen it. It's like a, it's like a, oh, blackamba. I think that's what I can't get past.

I don't think I would be into that at all. I need to get, I need. I need. I know, I know, I'm sorry. I need, too. You know what game. Dick back. We done, bitch. Give my dick back.

Give my dick back. I can never ask for my dick back. Give my dick back. She gave it to me like change. Oh, shit. Now, how old are you? 43. 41.

You guys are still, you got a few more years. The older you get, man, your sex drive, it sucks, but it does. It dies. I don't know if it's because, you know, I don't know if it's just, but you're just like, when I was 20, 30, my sex drive was fucking off the rails. I just wanted to touch tities and do weird shit

and get my penis touch. Now it's like, I'm just like, I get into bed and she's snoring and I don't even want to fucking, I'm like, whatever. Yeah. Let's just go to bed. I understand. You know, do what you get?

Nah, I think I did mine in the right way. I did it backwards because I had kids so young and now my kids are grown and out of the house so I'm like an empty nester you know what I mean? And now I got time to like exercise and do all of that shit and get my libido popping and I don't have like the fact that we don't have to get

out of the bed for anybody on Saturday. Yeah, you did it right. Like Big Jay did the same thing. He had a kid when he was young. Yeah. And now he's free and clear. Yeah. Just hanging out of concerts, you know what I mean? Like just fuck, whatever. You know, we're down for whatever. When I'm home, the family's home.

Yeah. And there's no. By the end, I'm of the day it's like like bobby i'm enjoying this life so much we tried to adopt a dog last month we took it back we're like fuck this yeah because it will fuck you up yeah we want the freedom fuck that i'm telling you right now i love my dog kelby and diva and i love my dog now doodles

doodles but when kelby passed away which sucked we had we had diva and diva she was my dog and when she passed away i was like sad as shit i cried and all that but the next day when i didn't have to take it for a walk I was like I wonder if you feel that about kids Like if somebody's kid die

They'd be like Oh this sucks so bad But then at some point It's just quiet in the house Yeah You know what I mean? Just like hmm Like it's to the point now

Especially with my oldest I kind of have to tap in with her now Hey you good You know what I'm like Hey Hey I'm still your dad Right Because I get worried

She's like very independent But I just get worried Like I hope it's not like You know No like only fan shit or nothing is why she's so independent. I don't, I don't, I don't want to go to Oli fans. I don't want to see somebody in my

family. I don't see my aunt Peggy trying to make a few bucks. Oh shit. You guys like, you guys like Irish junk chicks from Boston. My name's Doughty. Something happens too once they get that emptiness syndrome

also. Turn that webcam on. I'll give my wife, my studio in my house. Get in there make some money. I don't want to go to fucking Sacramento. Yeah. No, my son yesterday here's

he's like, I'm gonna go to the store. He just went a couple weeks ago and he went shoveling the big snowstorm made like $200. Oh, hell yeah, okay. I'm glad to hear somebody was doing that. Very proud of that.

I used to do that. I was 12. Hell yeah. Very proud of him. Because I used to do that. When it snowed, I went out and made money. Absolutely.

I went out to every house on the block and shoveled out and made some cash. No snowblower, No, a shovel. Not even with the bent thing, with the backsaver, no. Not even with the little metal part on the end.

It was a metal. Yeah, it was a metal shovel that bent if you hit the curb too hard, then you fucked. Yeah, I mean, we just did it. Yeah. I had a push mower. I remember I was mowing people's lawns. This is how old I was.

You had to push it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And spin the blades. Yeah, I had to sharpen the blades. And then you had to go over that with a rake. Now we just sound like old-ass man. But my son yesterday, he's like, I'm going to the store.

And I'm like, what are you going to the store for? He had his $200 with him. I'm like, you ain't going to the store with $200. What are you going to the store for? He's like, I'm buying steaks. I'm going to cook dinner tonight. Wow. And I was like, well, first of all, you're going to learn about how much of steaks?

And blah, blah, 40 bucks. Okay, there's 40. What else are you getting? I'm going to get a pepper. Okay, cool. I want an onion. We got an onion. I want to get time.

Okay, we'll get some time. That's $60. You got $60 to get all this stuff. And he was like, I want to take all. And I'm like, you're not taking $200. If you lose it, you're fucked. All your money's gone. You just take what you need and buy what you need

and then you don't buy more. Okay, he's like, he's all mad and shit. I'm like, listen, I'm trying to, all this shit. He's like, but in my brain, I'm sorry. I was such a piece of shit in his age. I'm like, he's going to buy cocaine. At 12? He's going to get something.

He's going to buy shit. He's probably going to flash that knot at some girl. the register, you know what I mean? So he went down and I was sitting down for a minute and I'm following him on the app and he stopped for a minute like up at the top of the hill down the street

and I just jumped in my truck. I felt bad. I followed him. I followed him like a spy. I pulled over in front of the hardware store and I sat there for a minute. I went into the, came out, followed him down the street, pulled over again.

I was just, now to anybody looking around It was just this man following this kid. Absolutely. Real terrible. But he went to the, walk to the store, two miles. Okay. Walked. Got steaks.

Came home and then cooked filet mignon's and onions and peppers and some, we have some leftover potatoes he cooked. And he made me and my wife's dinner. It's far. Yeah. But I still don't trust him. I was like, did he stop? somewhere and drop some vape shit off is it you know what I mean it's like I you know it's hard to you know and he came home he did that and I was like that like I'm sitting there going fuck I never

that's a crazy thing yeah but it scared me because I'm like shit he's getting he's 12 and he's already maturing into cooking and buying food and working and like he's gonna be gone quick he's gonna be out he's gonna be out quick yeah when he's when he's when he's when there's gonna be a time he's gonna I'm out. I'm just going to get my own place. And that's going to fucking kill me. Oh, shit. I love having my son around. But I also wouldn't mind, you know, watching a movie fully without any of it. So I'm going,

Dad! Honey! Dad! It's like, fuck. You know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. And the crazy thing is watching that suspicion of them. Yeah. I'm trying to learn now to rewire my way of thinking because it's a reflection of you. You

basically knew what you were. I'm a piece of shit. They're not, I don't know whether they're like us or not. I am learning that is none of our business. What do you mean? Like, because I thought about that. Like, my daughter, she has a boyfriend that she didn't really, like, introduce me to, you know what I mean?

And I was like, what the fuck is that? You know what I mean? And then I'm thinking, like, well, do I really want to be involved in this? You know what I mean? Like, do I really want to know what your relationship is? And then there's like, the crazy thing is, what if my daughter is a piece of shit? You know, like, what if my daughter's a piece of shit in a relationship? Do I want to know that?

Like, I don't want to know. I don't know my daughter toxic She beat me Yeah You know I'm crazy Stay over there Beating the shit out

Yeah Don't go the other way I didn't I went another way I was like a piece of shit You know what I mean You know what I'm saying Yeah yeah yeah I know what you saying

I don't want to know that I don't want to know that But here's the thing If that was a daughter I wouldn't want to know But my son if he was a piece shit I'd be like yeah What's up son I don't even

Get over here dude And at yo What the fuck happened to you He had a kid How the fuck did you get bigger. Motherfucker. You caught up to you

motherfucker. You caught up to all of us. Barrow is officially at that. Oh, shit. Boom. He's a hang, he don't recognize him

from his headshot. I thought he was going to bust out of this wall. What's up, buddy? You smell fantastic, by the way. You smell. What is that?

It's a bunch of shit. Nah, talk to me. What is that? Stop. I'm sick of black people hiding good smells. Got to have the smells. God damn fucking

Because y'all will flip it and sell it to us for more. Yeah. So we got to keep it a secret. Because if I tell you, you go, ooh, right. Whatever you're doing, Monroe, it is strong as fuck. Monroe gave me some umbrella lights like six months ago. They still have his clone in it. I use these umbrella lights every week.

And when you pull them out. What you're supposed to have a smell coming in? Yeah, don't. Me? My pheromone. What the fuck? Let me taste some. Questlove smells like French toast.

He's supposed to be diabetes. No, that's not. You diabetta. He got child-bearer and hips. His weird hips, right? It's weird the way you lose weight and you don't lose it somewhere. It's like the last place you lose it. When big people smell like syrup, nigga, that's diabetes.

All right, listen, you smell fantastic. Thank you. What is? Just tell me, you don't have to tell me what it is. So it's a body oil that I wear and then it's Chanel blue. All right. So it's Chanel blue and then a body oil. That you have to get where?

Nick, Chanel blue. You just get it wherever you get it? No, the body oil. I know what to get Chanel Blue. No, he's trying to trick me. He's trying to white people me. So he's like, where? Don't tell me the name, but where did you get it from?

I'm sure it's in the neighborhood I'm not going to want to go to. No, no, no, it's not Muslim oils. It's like an actual, like, body oil. You can buy it anywhere? Yeah. Well, no, you got to buy it from the company. So it's a company. It's a company.

It's a company. So it's not like some dude on the side. You got to order in a line. No. See, I live in Queens and they don't have them. You got to go to Jamaica Queens for that shit. So it's not that. No, you got to order it online.

Oh, you got to order online, but you don't want to tell me because you don't want to smell like you. Because I don't want you to smell like me and then they'll be like, you smell like Bobby. That's what they'll do. They'll be like, you smell just like Bobby. You're playing it smart, bro. Yeah. What the fuck? Wear your degree or whatever the fuck white people wear.

Where your degree. Your fucking ex-body spray. With your fucking sandalwood scent. White people like sandalwood. They like smelling like fires. This has. Cedar. Why don't fucking want him Smell like Cedar, nigga?

Yo, Ray. You guys know Ray? I don't know, Ray, but he'll agree. I don't know, Ray. I thought that was Josh. Yeah, we got another mic for Ray? No, do we? Come over here. Sit over here, man. Ray's from, he's from...

He didn't even know. He didn't even know where he's Redding the Negroes from. Okay. He runs, he helps run, and the attic, the comedy attic. Oh, all right. You run the comedy addict? No, he helps.

He's one of the guy. Oh, wait, which one? The one in the one with the... That's Monroe. I did the comedy attic years ago. Indiana? He said Ohio. Ohio.

Ohio. When the fuck they make a comedy addict? They run it in Ohio, but what happened was a guy was running it, kind of fucked it up, and he stepped in. Someone new bought it, and they were like, hey, we need help with this. And he stepped in and helped them run it to a good club. And now the club is fucking great. And a lot of comics support it.

He's one of the main guys that helps the owners. Downstairs is a fucking great restaurant. As far as, like, independent comedy clubs, that's one of the good ones. And that dude is one of the reasons why it's fucking good. Hell yeah. It's not in that house. You know what? I'm going to give you your flowers on that.

Okay. Real quick. Oh, yeah. I want to give you your flowers on that. Because as I've hit the road and started playing, like, a lot of those, you know, smaller rooms and start getting a thing there. Like, you could tell, like, you've been to all of these places. Yeah.

And your podcast kind of opened it up for people to start hitting these rooms and selling tickets. Like, it made bookers like that know who all of us were. And you could kind of see it on the wall. Good shit. Who's going to these clubs? You could tell, like, everyone is out of that. You know what dude? You know what I mean?

Right. Build an audience. Yeah, you guys all come here, do this and then surpass me in the business and then fucking don't come on. Not even a bad. I heard you on Bobby podcast. I mean, Nate won't even know my name. And they used to sit that table over there and just hang out. This motherfucker opened for me.

He don't even, he walked by me. I was at Ben's, he walked by me with a crew of fucking golfers. He just walked by me. He didn't even fucking nod his head. You got to end. I love getting Bobby. I'll work him with that. He said, Dan Soda called me tonight.

I got all excited. He immediately wrote butt dialed. Damn. Sorry, buddy. I'm sorry, Bobby. I'm sorry, man. Joe List don't, he had a party and didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. Yeah.

That's a damn thing. Yeah, that's crazy. They used to be like, that's your little crew. He built him. You built him. That's what I'm giving him his flowers. You can see it. Tim Dillon.

I brought Tim Dillon on this show and Opie and Anthony. I took over one day. He was my third mic. Yeah. But here's the thing. Tim, these guys will always pick up the phone if I do call. they'll call it, go, what's up, Bobby? It's more like, look, I owe you.

So what do you need? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good place to be, right? Yeah, that's a good place to be. Yeah, no, it's a great place. If I get a disease and I need to go fund me, these cocks suckers better step up. There you go.

You know, I'm not going to get a Patrice 20-year fucking benefit. I think you'll get a good 200,000. What? 200K? That's not even paying my fucking mortgage. But then people used to come in like. I want to, listen, I'm telling you right now.

I'm telling you right now, you guys better make this happen. You want Patrice level beneficial? No, I ain't fucking stupid. Okay. I want all my bills paid for my family if something happens to me. Bobby. For how long? Perpetuity?

All of the people. Everybody that used to stay at your house and house hit, you don't have videos on them like Diddy? Yeah. What the fuck? You don't got no net cam. No, they didn't have that technology out. All the technology that you were up again. You didn't know about this?

You don't think I'd have... If it happened right now, you don't think I'd have Dan Soda sucking his own dick in my bed. Joe Liss putting my wife's dildos in his ass. I mean, with AI, you can make those. Louis Gomez.

Louis J. Gomez, fucking underage something. I'm saying, body. You gotta be graded, man. You gotta log this shit. I would have all of it, but I don't have it now. I know soda fucked a milf in my shower when I lived in the city.

that pee, I said, don't fuck in my bed. So he fucked her in my shower. Not in there either. That's respectful, though. No, fuck around the leather couch. I can wipe that shit off. But the shower, everything is just going on the drain. I think that's more respectful.

My shower is sick. Wait. I'm looking at the shower. That's respect. I think it's a respectful thing to do to fuck in the bathroom. Right. No. I had a roommate do that to me once.

After I cleaned the tub. I was pissed. They fucked in your bathroom? After I cleaned the tub. Like, I had to clean the tub. And then he took him. his shorthy in the tub in the tub in the bathroom. And I even get the shower

first. This motherfucker, I was so mad. You think Dan Soda cleaned the tiles of his jizz after he fucked in my shower? What type of shower head you got? You got one that you can move? Maybe he aimed a shower head. He might have sprayed. Five shower heads? Buddy. That's it was gone. Dude, every

every time I bought a place, my shower is the most stupid. That one had three shower tiles that I stood in the shower and had the rush do building it from my face my tits and my dick it was for me three prong there was a little shower tiles that go on wall how could you not fucking that

shower? Too much water but I'm saying that's like a fucking music video shower yeah you can't fucking a shower yeah it's too much water the water dries up the pussy you got the little every shower I ever had had a bench yeah so well the water's supposed to run on you not you know the pussy

you can get your dick suck in the shower yeah you can eat the put I suggest eating pussy in the shower that cleans off whatever whatever waitress smell. Especially if you make a scalding hot. Talk about that first round of piss. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Smell like, sir. Takes that popcorn smell. Gets that popcorn smell off. You have kids? Not anymore. Not anymore. Chill, chill. Rest and peace, my bad.

It may not even be that way. You piss it out of the toilet. You piss it out of the toilet. I'm fucking around me. No, dude, it is. Chill. Okay. Yeah, I forgot about that.

It sucks when a guy tells you a little bit about himself and you forget it. You got kids. I'm not anymore. That was your way of pulling him into the conversation. That was a downer. I'm going to switch it up. You ever eat pussy in a shower? Let's go that route.

It's all the crazy. Fuck forgetting that story. He forgot my name. He called me Ray. My name is Neff. Damn. I called him Ray. You called him Ray.

Hey, here's the story. It was a dude named Ray at the club. He was a black guy. Bobby, I think you might have just lost his studio. Neff is hard to remember. Neff? Neff? N-E-F? N-E-F? What is Neff for?

This is my uncle called me. Man, I got fucking... I got big... Ray! Nephew! I don't like being attacked by... He only knows like four black dudes, so he was... That's bullshit.

One, two, three, four. And we got to the bottom of it's the last time that we were here when me and Derek were here because you thought me and Derek were just hood rats. And then you found out his dad was a pilot. You found out my dad was in the Air Force. We had degrees and how about his dad? dead. No, shit.

He's dead to me. God damn. God damn. But I remember, he was like, God damn. I don't like fucking, I don't like baby Michael Chey fucking call me out in front of my friends.

Go ahead. Come all the way from Ohio to be called Jeff. He said, fucking Ray. He made a dude name Ray in Columbus. I did. I did.

Neff. Sorry, Neff. What's your last name? Johnson? John. I just met him last week. That was one of the names.

Jones. John. It was the name. Did you know the most popular black name? It was Johnson. Nope. It ended up being one. What is that?

Williams. Jenkins? It's Williams. Williams? I thought it was Jones. Yeah, I thought it was Jones, too. I thought it was. But I said Williams because I didn't want to go say Jones for this way.

Is it because that was the biggest plantation? You know it got to come from some shit like that. It comes from slavery. All right, guys. Our last names was like, Spack entry money. Let's see the key appeals sketch when they had the slaves and they were buying the slaves and they were buying the slaves. That's one of my favorite

And they slowly just turned like, man, I don't fucking tell you. What's wrong with? Well, that's, that's cute. They picked the little guy. He goes, well, that does. That's weird. It's not even a whole slave.

What was that over? That was, uh, Keene Pills, the upper knee-of-the-negrove schedule. Yeah, man. All right, guys, I will not. What's up to say, man. What's up, Neff?

Go ahead, Neff. Go ahead, Neff. I was avoiding the daughter-dead thing. I'm sorry. Oh, you avoided by not bringing it. I am. This motherfucker up. I fucked up with him.

I fucked up with his dad. I'm just trying to learn, guys. It's trauma, man. You know, this is my trauma. And this thing you didn't remember, we trauma bond. Everything is trauma, yeah. Everywhere you step is going to be in the land. I mean, I got it too, dude.

I fucking hate it. I hate, I was, I hate the fact because it affects you, the way you bring up your kid. Yeah. Because you can't live your life through your kid, but it's so hard not to because I know at 12 is when I started using drugs. I know at 13. Fuck we're selling drugs to a 12-year-old, nigga. The 12-year-old. What was the 80s, dude?

Oh, shit. 80s were different. A 12-year-old in 1980 was like a 37-year-old right now. Jesus Christ. It's just a different time back then. You didn't know the preteen smokers? I know, dude. I smoked on a plane, dude.

Oh, wow. Yeah, it was a different time. I could go down and buy cigarettes. I used to buy my mother's cigarettes and my grandfather's cigars. Every day. Every day. Just go down and grab them. Let me ask you this, because we was having this debate.

You're a Boston guy. You know, a Philly guy. guys, we were having this debate with Sam Jay, who do you think has, like, trashier blue-collared whites, like Boston or Philadelphia? Not we, we used to. We used to. The thing, like, when people talk about, like, poor people, I grew up, all the white people I grew up with, who were poor.

Like, we didn't, no one had money. They were all, like, lower than middle class. Like, like, town over. was like rich white people, but they weren't even rich. They were just middle class, but to me that was rich. My friends all grew up in three families. We were all poor fucking white people. So when people like, you know, like when I came to New York and there was like, you know, the projects, our project were all Irish people.

Like some of the projects was all Irish fucking degenerate. Southie was all fucking piece of shit. Irish people. South Bedford was all fucking garbage, Italian, you know, we're all poor. And then we had like, you know, the section. the black section of West Method was where black people lived. They were all poor over there,

but it was, it wasn't like a, like a New York thing. You know what I'm saying? Like this is, this Manhattan, there's a lot of rich people, and then there's the black sections

that are poor. Everybody was fucking poor. Right. So, what's that? Poor whites are the best. Why's that? Depends.

Depends where you're at. Yeah. Yeah. To me, and we're in Ohio. Well, the poor whites in Ohio are cool. I like that.

To answer you a question. I like Ohio. I think now Philly has taken over that blue collar. We were. I know, Philly's like Brooklyn now, man. Oh, is it? It is a lot of weird people who moved in the neighborhood. It was the number one bank robbing, it was a capital of, whatever the how you say that,

the number one bank robbing city in the country. It was all white people. Oh, yeah. That's what the movie to town was about. Yeah, that was all. It was also funny because it's just like the audacity, but clearly like they was going easier and white guys, but they just kept showing up. Give me the money.

Give it that money. That's just nuns and shit. Huh? No. There's a bank robber. Is that you, Joey McGillacutty? Put the gun down now. No, it was, they were, dude, I remember going to the summer of the projects, which

scared the fuck out of me because poor white people scared me more than poor black people. Okay. I used to go to the black section and play basketball, hang out. There was something different about, you know, Poor white people, like some of a project, project people, were vicious, mean, and violent, like really fucked up. Yeah. And, I mean, South Boston, I wouldn't even go to

because they were so fucking mean and vicious. And alcoholic, it's like, it wasn't a drug thing. It was more of alcohol, which to me is more violent. Yeah. You know what I mean? Keep me just talking about this downstairs. Just, I don't know whether you remember, like, being a teenager. And it was like, the kids that took it up a notch.

There was always like the kids that just took it up a notch every summer. And when those kids started going to jail, you were just kind of like, thank God. Like, oh my God. Like, how long is he doing? I'll testify. Thank you. Thank God. Like, we're just going to be fun, you know?

There's nothing like that. I'm glad he went to jail. Buddy, I remember I hung up. Whoee. Get him to fuck up out of here, man. He was turning. I was a little bit scared. You've been in jail too?

Speaking of jail, you've been to jail. Yeah, that was me. That was me. That was me. He was happy. Jesus, Neff. That's a prison nickname. His real name's Jay.

Array. You did he went to jail. This is why because I met him. Nonviolent crime? Yeah, just trafficking. There you go. Trafficking people? No, no, no.

Anything. Trafficking. I'm not in the files. He's jokes, right? No. It was a joke. Oh, that don't count. A little drug hair, a little baggy.

Yeah. But they ain't going to arrest you for a baggie. Big baggie. Intent to distribute you? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Like bad boys.

One. You were like just under to get like 20 years, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. Maybe 30 more grams. And you would have been in for 20. Oh, you was a modest hustler. Yeah, modest hustler.

Modest, yeah, yeah. Timing? I don't know a few modest hustlers from the suburbs. He's like one of the fucking, I met him, I literally this weekend, but he's like one of the coolest dudes I've ever met. You know what I mean? Because he talks about this shit. But it's in such a, like he's telling me a story.

Like, he had houses. He bought houses. you know, stuff, he went away, he still had a house, he had his grandma on the house. Like, it was, I don't know, just like a nice story. You know what I mean? Because it's casual.

He's past it. He don't identify with it. They don't identify with it. But you know what that also says? It impresses you. You speak to his sophistication. You're like, holy shit. You did all of that already?

This is American story. Right, right. You know what I agree that? Yeah. Is it wrong that we do it? You know, the mob did it? The mafia guys. They came from crime.

and built Vegas, right? Absolutely. I just built a small little empire in my little thing. My little, just trying to get my mom's window. You got to keep some of your properties at least? Yeah, yeah, fine. Oh, shit. He gives me, like, Denzel vibes, right?

Like, it's like he's cool as shit. Yeah, but he's not like, he, I was waiting for him to be goofy at one point. You know what I mean? There ain't no goofy jar. Huffy, nah. He's not, like. You want some cocaine? He got that in the lifestyle.

It gets sucked out of you. I mean, it was a time. You were goofy. And you probably some of the funniest dudes that you knew was on that corner. And that's what sucks, man. There's some of the funniest people in the world. What's that? Comedy is like my journey to get back to that, really.

To get cocaine? I couldn't. No, no. Just get to get to the jovial part of you. You know, I used to drive, the craft. I mean, I got to give you the drive, the craft. I didn't say shit, you know. So now it's like me getting back to fun.

But you were, you had a job, too, like a truck. Yeah, I did truck driving four a minute, too. But that American story, they wouldn't let me do it because I didn't have no experience or whatever. Mm-hmm. I just tried Swifty. They was getting, or Swift or whatever. Remember that, you know, that truck? Mm-hmm.

They just wouldn't let me do it. And so I got a job, Quiznos. Was it Quiznos? Quisnos. Was that? That's me. All just they run through the heat. I didn't even know the game five seconds ago, and he went, was it Quiznos?

No. No. But a mascot was a fucking rat? Because putting them remembered, yeah, and I fucking, I was, I had every key to all the key, all the subway or Quisnos in Cleveland in Cleveland, Ohio. Oh, okay. And riding around trucks and this big ass truck. And I'm little to in, too. Like, so I'm standing on the clutch to drive and all this round.

Yeah. They fired me in like a week, you know what I mean? Because you had a job or they found out of, uh, I just, they didn't, when I, when I, when I applied online or whatever, they gave it to me because I had my CDL. But when they saw me, I'm like, this like this little black kid, you know what I'm saying? Oh, wow. And I look younger. Crassing trucks and shit. Right.

That's crazy That's crazy that license though That's not an easy thing to get No I went to the school I paid my money You know I paid like four grand When did the whole thing

Tried to do the right thing They fucked up Let me go Let me go do what the fuck I want to do man Wait so this was before drugs Or this was like in between

I had a daughter I tried to do the right thing For a minute Yeah It just never worked out I feel you I feel you I did you do

I did sheet metal I did two years I was two years In the joint You snit No Two years Seemed like a very sure time

Can I say something He got real ghetto On that shit He's like Fuck now Motherfunk Not if you just shot Murrow

That's high That's high treason But they're not Listening is high treason But they're not listening to Bobby podcast They're like I knew that motherfucker

I knew that I knew that I knew that dude You don't know Let's roll up to the village Digger we got Motherfuck To kill

They can think it's R Kelly's podcast They might accidentally They listen to it. The 20 black dudes in Denver. That's great. I remember the last time I got arrested

up in Spencerport, New York. And I just, I got drunk. But I had a thing in front of me. So anything I did, I was getting arrested. I was a ward of the state of Massachusetts. Okay. So anything you do at that point, they just snatch it.

They don't even want to, don't waste the judge time, the court time, just you're gone. And I stole, uh, We were hanging out. We got fucked up. I think I drank a half a bottle of white label scotch. I drank some beers. I was stoned out of my fucking brain.

And we went in to do whippets. It was just idiots in a grocery store. So we did whippets. And then I went in. It was redneck town, right? And let me tell you something. Redneck scared the shit out of me. Like when I would go,

they like to, we hung out of the park in the city. We went to the bakery to get food, the Italian bag. We had, you know, you know what I'm saying? took a bus, but up there they like to go in the woods and just light a fire and jump over it and shit. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I don't like that. I'd always be like, oh, you're going to get burnt. Stop jumping over the fire. Yeah, dude, they're like, redneck wood shit scared the fuck out of it. But I were sitting there. And they were trying to take the gumball machine and they were just fucking around. And I went in, I go, what do you guys? I was all fucked up.

What are you doing? We're trying to get the gumbo machine. So I just took the gumbo machine. I ripped it up and smashed it on the ground. and we took all the nickels and quarters and gumballs. And then we sat, they were like, we'll just sit in the car. I'm like, what are we doing? The cops are coming.

You gotta get out of here. Yeah, like they're just fucking dumb rednecks. But these were the toughest kids in that town at the time. Okay. That was like my M.O. The first day I, because I moved so much, you know, about going to place after place. So the first day of school, anytime I went, I always had a couple joints and I'd get in trouble, do something with the teacher, go to detention, and then whoever, I'd be like, yeah,

you smoke weed. and then that will be my friend. Those guys are my friend. Oh, okay. So I hang out with these. They're sitting in the car. Finally, I'm like, I'm getting the fuck out. This is dumb.

We're sitting literally in front of the place. We just stay here. Fucking idiot. So I start running down the tracks. I fucking, I could see the cops with the flashlight behind me, but I was ahead of them. I jumped over a fence. Shotgun in my face as I jumped over the fence. Chit.

I was like, what? The guy took me, got me. He goes, get on your knees, got on my knees. Is there the cops? or it's a cop he was yelling to where i was to the other cop and they were following me on the street running parallel to the track oh wow what they're called flanking uh yeah

where they just basically cornered you wrap the dress but i was fucked up too i'm running all 15 yeah that's great and he goes i remember he goes get on your knees and then the other guy showed up and he goes if you move shoot him and i literally went it was gum like shoot me motherfucker this is some redneck small town shit and they took me in and I was just, I was in, and they were

pressing me like, who did it, blah, blah, blah, and I was like, wait, your friend got away? No, they got caught. They were in the stupid car. Yeah, they were sitting in right in front of the car. Yeah, no, but if they would have got away, then they would have been smart. They were, like, told you. Just sitting there.

I was sitting there, I'm sitting there, they're pressing me. I'm like, no, I ain't saying shit. I ain't saying shit. I ain't saying shit. He goes, one last time, because I'm telling you right now, they're going to talk, and they're going to throw you out of the bus. I go, I ain't saying shit.

I remember being like, feeling cool. I ain't saying shit. And then he opened the door and these two fucking tough guys with their dad's crying. I'm sorry.

He fucking took the he brought. And they ratted me the fuck out. I was like, flying with their dad. Yeah. I just remember going

Rochester Juvee Hall was the worst. That shit was prison. I remember they put me into like a cell with a door. And I Kachink and I had to go out the next day

I was a number I was like this is I Is that me? That's me Um But yeah It was it sucked Wow

It sucked Yeah not ratin though I didn't rat But these fucking cock suckers did Yeah but you know You better for it They got dance I always thought you was so tough

Like I was watching you forever Before I met you You're so sweet too though Were you nice then No I was a mean I only in the last five years Yeah I'm at

Bob a long time ago. Mean motherfucking. When I had a kid. Yeah. Before that. I was... That shit was coming out. You know what I mean?

Yeah. You're like I don't... It's... You know, you have a kid. It's just... Close down. I didn't want to raise him. I was raised.

I was raised. Go get that thing, you fucking idiot. What are you a fucking ass? Go get it. Stop being a dickhead. I was raised, slapped in the back of the head. Stop being... I was like, I can't do that.

But I have... But this shit... what you have was what you're given. You know, when you're raised, you're raised to be, I was given anger as a fucking defense mechanism to protect myself from all these fucked up adults that were fucking fucking me.

And then when I learned how, like for you? Yeah. Not fucking me. No, he didn't mean fuck. No, I never got my last. I was looking like, oh, shit. I don't know. Back in my day, you get fucked three, four times

when you get home, you know. I wish. I wish you was getting fucked. It would have been better than getting a nice place to sleep. I would have a nice little sweet love session than a fucking. You're an idiot and punch in the face. You know what I'm crazy? Yeah, but it's just, you know, it's a battle though because that shit's in you.

And even with the kid now, it's like my voice goes up. And you know, me and you, we have the same shit. Yeah. We almost fucking went out on my podcast years ago. Oh, yeah. I remember that. That was a conversation. We were both like, you're a fucking.

And look, first of all, I'm a fucking idiot. That would have been a sucky day for old Bob. Let's go outside. Funk. And Rohead, that's when Rohead, good anger. That was that good anger. I was so angry back. That was that good anger.

You seem common now, too. I think I am common now. You're all getting older, yeah. Yeah, just older, fucking worn out. I, um, just tired. I run a lot now, and I've been home helping my mom with some stuff and in my old neighborhood. And I still try to keep my routine. So I've been running in that neighborhood.

And man, when you run in like your old childhood neighborhood and just see like all of the houses that you were familiar with, you understand where every bit of programming in your life came from. Like, oh, yeah, that dirt bag in that house taught me that. You know, these people over here, they had this way of thinking. And you just realize like, oh, fuck. Like how much shit you could just let go. Like, oh, I don't need any of this shit to survive anymore. But that's where it all came from. All these weird people.

I was raised by other kids for a while. Oh, yeah. I was raised by other kids that didn't, you know, didn't have anybody. Yeah, so it's like, you know. I used to, those are the best kids, though. The kids are, like, didn't have to go home. We could just sleep in your house. Your mom never comes in your room.

We can just stay out till 12 with a school night. You can just do whatever. Me and Frankie Paula Cash were rolling joints in front of his mom. We used to steal her, her boyfriend was a Coke dealer. We just, but he was a little fucking scrawny guy that Frankie could beat up. So we used to just take his Coke. And he would come out. Do you take my Coke?

He'd be like, get this. the fuck in the other room. I'm going to tell you mother. He's going to get me killed, Diane. Yeah, man. I hung out with a bunch of tough dudes. I wasn't, though. I was never tough.

I just, I just, I hung out with some bad motherfuckers. But you're talking about, I remember I go to the park and these guys would always, we know there's one park, Tufts Park in Southern Mavit. And when you showed up, the older kids who were fucking crazy. like really violent dudes, they would pat you down as soon as you showed up. So you had to keep your money like in a certain, like underneath your shoe,

underneath your foot in your shoe. But you'd also have to have decoy money like a couple bucks in your sock because they would pat you down and be like, yeah, I'm going to take this. They always say, I'm going back to you later. Yeah, forgive me. Wait, where was this? This was South Medford.

Bob, do you want to hear some crazy? They used to make me go buy. They'd take my money and go, go get me a meatball sub at La Cache's or Bob. Bob subs. I'm like, okay. We're too money. Yeah.

Dude, when it was like 13, 14, and I started hanging out with these kids on the other side of the tracks. And these were kids that, you know, they could be out until 11, 12 o'clock at night. And we're not doing nothing. We're just standing in front of the deli, you know, hanging out. But they would randomly just start beating on each other.

And it was kind of like they're hazing to learn how to fight or whatever, but it would just be like, you know, as eight guys. And then just randomly, like, somebody just kind of gives a little nod. Like, it was his turn next. You know what I mean? And they just pop, pop, blah, blah, just fuck your shit up. Like, if you had nice clothes, it was a reason to stop dressing nice.

Yeah. I never forget, these motherfuckers tore me up if I had, like, a nice, like a royal blue Phillies hoodie. It was a majestic hoodie, a cheap thing, but it was nice and it was colorful, and they didn't like that. Yeah. And it was a thing of like, yeah, let's rip it off. Blah, blah, blah.

It's just to tear it apart and throw it up. And then it's like, yeah, the next day, you better show up with like a black hoodie on or a fucking dickie shirt. Otherwise, you know, you're going to get this kind of treatment every time. You keep coming around here trying to look fly, you know? And it was, it was like, it was friendship somehow. It was like somehow your friends is keeping you from looking to fly. No, but because you were targeting out here.

You know what I mean? Because you got a nice coat on. Right, right. I'm from the burbs. It didn't go down like that. Get you a $30. Oh, dude, I did. I remember.

I don't, your life has been harder all your lives. I can't. I have nothing to say. I have nothing. I know the random fighting shit. The burbs, baby. It's crazy. That's crazy.

Half rich. I'm fine. I've been fine. I remember we would fight. We would fight other parks. Like, North Park, uh, was Irish. My park was Italian. Okay. So Boston.

But aren't you both? Aren't you Irish? Yeah, but the Italians had a bit of food. And they were cool dudes. But, uh, the Irish just drag and fought. The Italian dudes, I got was so cool in leather jackets. And they were just good looking dudes. You know what I mean?

Getting bitches. But Medford was segregated in. in each town. It wasn't just, so Medford itself had the Italians lived here, the Irish live here, the blacks live here,

and then the poor whites lived over here type thing. You know what I mean? Okay. So you would hang out at that park with those people and then you'd fight other towns like Somerville,

shit like that, and we would just go to like Somerville and just fight kids. And I'll tell you what, it sucked. Yeah. Because I hated it because I wasn't a fighter.

And you realize the guys who were organized and this were gay and just wanted to touch other men. And it was like, oh, that's what this was all about. Was it? You just needed a hug,

you fucking weirdo. I think over masculinity is a gas-grey. It's just like, oh, you just want to hug. You just want to be a hugged with a man on the bird. I'm going to say it right now. M. I love hugs. I love hugs.

I'm telling you, most of these boys just didn't know how to ask for a hug. I think you're 100% right. I think so. I'll take a beaten or a hug. Right, right. Because it's like, you know the same thing Like if you've been locked up

There's some motherfuckers who you get stir crazy in the cell Where you go like, you know what? I'm raising hell just so somebody come in here And interact with me Because I'm tired of being in this bitch 23 and one So I'm going to like somebody can't come and touch me In the joint that you figure that guy out real quick And everybody beats the shit out of him

And he don't say shit for seven years He's in heaven He's in heaven. I got my hug I got my hug in hell Love me. Jesus. That's a real...

Wow. You can't do hugs in heaven. You can't do hugs in Juveille. I remember they put me in a juvie hall. I remember because I... Look, I grew up my... From first to sixth grade was mixed. Black, Spanish, and white.

Poor, West Memphis. You know what I mean? So I grew up with black kids for six years. My first girl was black. Genea McKay. Gorgeous. So, but when I went to the Italian school, later, there was no blacks.

It was just all Italian kids mainly and some Irish kids. But when I went to when I went to Juvie Hall, it was a shock because I was away from like Spanish kids, black kids. So when I showed up and it was a lot of black kids, I remember one of the places I went to was

Halifax. It was an old Jewish camp. They made into a Juvie Center. And it was one road in and it was in Cranberry Boggs. And I remember that Halifax was known as a fucked up place. It was a cranberry bog. Like where they, you know how they,

you ever see the dudes with the suits walking to, collecting them? Cranberries are made in water. Oh, okay. It's a bog. So they got to collect them. But this place is surrounded by it, so you can't run. There's only one.

Wow. They got spires and shit. Yeah, no juvenile thing was going to go through a cranberry box. We used to have a moat around ours. A moat? Oh, that's like many rikers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where they dug up, so around.

It's like, Game of Thrones. Yeah, no, for real. Like, it used to be like a whole, like, they dug up the, the, street and all that shit surrounding it. And literally it was like as deep, like let's say that our property ends right here is as deep

as that floor to the drawn. So like you had to like fucking jump it. Then it was just like had like rocks and shit. And then if it rained and it would get like filled up. But nobody ran away because it was in the middle of Scranton PA. Which is weird how they do that. Because there's always like juvenile detention, behavioral centers, like overeaters.

Anonymous or narcotics. They're always in these weird remote places. Where you know what the fuck is? Who built this shit? Yeah, well they put the juvenile halls in weird places so you don't run. Oh, I thought so they can't hear you scream. I tell you, that one was run by black kids. It was mostly black kids in that one.

There was like four white kids. And I remember they used to play New York. They had basketball hoops, but low, they're really low. And they called it New York ball where you could punch and elbow and be rough. It's called Rough House. Yeah, we called it New York Ball because we fucking thought you guys were maniacs in Boston. And they were playing that. And then they started beating up all the, like, white kids.

There was one white kid. He was just playing ball by himself. And as soon as I was just sitting there, it was like my second day there. And as soon as the guards were looking that way, all the black kids just went now. And they threw like five balls at this kid's face. And I just remember his nose going, pf, damn.

And he's going to go, and then they just started playing ball again. That was also just regular gym class. That was also just regular gym class on a black high school. school. Always those two white kids that was left. Man, I, they beat up, they beat up this other kid. They gave another kid a blanket party that night, and I remember I was in my room and all the black kids came in. They had a little tiny

dude. They called him the godfather. He was just this little menacing motherfucker. They're always a little menacing one. There was just some energy, this little motherfucker had scared. That's the demon. The littlest guy, he got a lot to prove. They came down and sat next me in the bed and they all just surrounded me but ghosted me and I was just reading some stupid book trying to

focus it on my book reading extra hard and say that my hand was shaking right and they were talking about beating up all the white kids and I was just like hmm I think he called me he goes yeah that fucking homeboy

that that white boy motherfucker and I and I instinctually just went you know control it and then he goes you're home Boy, you a white boy, motherfucker. And I was like, I'm a homeboy, bitch. And he went, nah, this is all right.

Then I got transferred. I was like, thank God. Yeah, dude. It was crazy. Wait, they thought you were like biracial? No, they just asked me if I'm a homeboy or a white boy. Oh, God. If I said, if I had any pride in my culture and I went, I'm a, I'm a white boy. They were a patriot. They were going to make America great again.

I'm a proud boy. Yeah. Yeah, dude. You've never been in jail, jail. Not jail. I've been to county jail, but not prison. And you've never been to jail, jail? Hold and cell.

You've never been to jail, though, right? Juvenile jail, though, right? Juvenile jail, me and you have similar lives. Yeah. Yeah. He was the big, smart bully. You got to be. Yeah.

Were you? I bullied. I was bullied, and then you bully, and then you do nothing. Isn't that weird? That is true. You get bullied. Then you fucking start bullying people, and then you go, and both of this shit suck.

Yeah, it didn't feel good. Yeah, it don't. I got bullied so much, I mean, so much. And then I remember one day I beat the shit out of one of the bullies with my cast until he bled and cried, and I was like, fucking, fantastic. I put a lock on my hand. Like, a fucking master lock. Yeah.

That hurt your hand up. Oh, my God, it does. But it was so fucking rewarding. You know what I used to get? Yeah. I used to get it. I used to go to somebody. house and get their hose and cut a piece off like

this big and I'd smack people in the face with the metal part with the little end of the little end of the little metal part and I used to use a full beer can so I'd walk up we'd walk up to fights with beers like stone cold yeah yeah but we just go

fuck you whack and dude if you miss it if you missed you're fog that's like a brick that's another crazy one like yeah that again once people started adding weapons it was just kind of like I don't know if I really have

in me to throw the brick as hard as I can at it. I'm like, ah. Yeah, but what happens is that you get desensitized. And then my biggest my biggest accomplishment when I was a kid was I got beat up and I didn't cry. I got beat up by like four guys and I didn't cry and I was like I didn't

I was like oh my God, I shut it off. You know what I mean? Like I didn't feel I felt like you know, Dalton and Roadhouse pain don't hurt. You know what I mean? That was like a, I was so proud of myself. Like, I just got my ass. I was blood head to toe.

And I was like, I didn't fucking cry. It was like an accomplishment. Yeah. So that over time, you learn how to shut that shit down. And then you have to spend the rest of your fucking life to reconnect all those wires. Oh, yeah. Which sucks. Have you seen that footage of a...

What is it? I think it's still a superpower to be able to control your emotions like that, though. What do you, to be able to not take a beaten and not to take a beaten physically, emotionally, you hurt, but you're not sure. He's still a criminal guy. Can you, have you seen that video of Shilabuff getting beat up in New Orleans? He got his ass woke. And it's like he's trying to be an asshole.

When was this? It was like last night. Yeah. Yeah, he got beat up. It's like Marty Grawed down there. So, you know, like tonight is the big night. They said he was a terror. They threw him in the street.

But he's getting racked out crazy in the street. They were teaching him a valuable lesson. Yeah, yeah. But he was being an asshole. He was saying. He, there was a guy over him, this big brother was over him. And he, he's yelling at him. and then he punched him in the face

and then he was still teaching him lessons. Yeah, he got to be it. He had to just take it. That's the worst. He was going on. No, he was out. Oh, man off. It was there. When you get knocked out of your shoes. Did they give him a shoe back?

Yeah, eventually. Fold his clothes up and put him right. There's the thing. Catching the beat is one thing. Talking to you and teaching you life lessons as they beat you up is I told you. There was one guy beside. There was one guy. I was going to side while he was getting punched going,

you don't fucking do that shit. You understand? Whack? I'm telling you. You hear what they said? Why don't you go back to digging holes? They said, like, that was a report. Oh, really?

I said, yo, go dig holes. What the fuck you? Yes, because they knew who he was. But they were like, they hit him with the holes. But isn't he in the gang? It's a good movie. Shottabuff, like, joined the fucking gang. No.

No. No, he joined the gang. Then he did his one-man show, then he followed. He became a born-again Christian. He did a lot of shit. He went to a lot of him. He went and hung out with the priest there up in, you know, the brothers with the robes and shit.

He became that. Black, those are the light? No. So that's who beat the shit out of them. No, it was the monks and shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was. Ain't that a fam?

The Francis monks, a Franciscan monks. Wow. Well, he was trying to get sober and he's trying to find God and trying to fight his way back. And then he just got his ass whoopping. Well, I mean, that's how you find God. That's how you find God. You find God. You found God.

a couple of days ago. That's how I found God in a fucking jail cell. I remember it. I got on my knees and the shit worked. You got on your knees? I got on your knees. I got on your knees. And the next day, my parents showed up

and they believed me. I was like, thank you God. My man, they believe me. Did you find God in jail? Nah. He's the case. This guy's going to rob us after the show. How funny would that be if he fucking took all our shit?

No, no. He fucked up. He beat you. up because he didn't like the color of that fucking hoodie. No, you know what? My great-grandmother raised me. I lived into, like, this, like, retirement home type of shit. I wouldn't even post a beat here.

Okay. And so she was super, like, sanctified. You know what I mean? She wouldn't even drive, long skirt. Then Pentecostal motherfuckers, you know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Super Jesus, you know what I mean? And so that love that she gave me is kind of what kept me was God,

but it wasn't getting me safe in the street because I fuck with crazy cats and they would be cool with me. Yeah. They see I don't got no, I'm an active valor type of guy. I drop on a grenade before. for anybody. Wow. And that was cool for them.

Let me ask you question though, because now you're out of it. You came out, you got your shit together. You're doing stand-up. What made you, what the fuck, how did you go from truck driving? How'd you find stand-up? Yeah. How'd you find stand-up? So in Columbus, you know, it's not like you guys.

I had no idea that you could do that. You know what I mean? But for some, and I was always a writer, I could write stuff, raps, poems, whatever. And then one day I was writing some shit, and my cousin knew it. Somehow he'd find out. And he'd sign me up for a contest. we was at a festival and I wasn't even

I didn't even know he did. Got divorced too. I was just freshly divorced too. I don't know. That makes a lot of comics. Wait, how old are you? You guys' age. Don't fucking bully me.

No, could you say divorce and all that shit? Buddy, listen, I'm 55. We're from New York. That's L.A. shit. Yeah, you're not going to get a... I'll be happy when I turn to... I'm 39. Okay, I'm 43.

All right. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's old as shit. You say divorce. Divorce is like a 40 thing. Yeah, no. I had a 40.

I got everything under my belt that he got the same thing, you know. But that's what I'm like... I got two kids, you know? But I know you are 40. Like, that's what I'm like, wait. That's pretty normal for black dudes. It's pretty 40s. So you started doing comedy?

Yeah, I was just a festival and I just jumped on there. And, you know, how that goes, seven people in the crowd. They're all comics. I get off stage and they're like, you got to come here. You got to come here. And I was just hot. White comics started. Mixed.

Okay. A couple blacks. Yeah, because when you early on, everyone's so nice. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's not that even. Come over here. Come over here.

Yeah, the open mic scene was gentle. And then I found my first. In New York? I mean, in Philly. Yeah. Then I found all my friends. Then we moved up here. That's when we started getting to ass woke.

Open mic and Boston was fucking crazy. I can imagine? It was Billy, Patrice, Dane. Me, Bob Marley. It was like all murderers. Yeah. And then there was a bunch of other dudes. But yeah, I mean, open mic, I miss it.

I missed that. I missed the one in Philly. I missed the hang. Philly was a real show. They were real shows. Yeah, Boston's the same. New York was different. When I came here and you did open mics,

I was like, oh, you're just talking to other comedies. Yeah. New York, I say, don't come up here. Come up in your town. Yeah, that's what we did. Because Philly had a lot of shows. And we were on all of them. I realized I missed that.

Brooklyn used to be that. Brooklyn used to be like a host that had a good crowd that was showing up. and you could come. Bob Spot. But it'd be like a lot of your friends might be on the show. Essence, Moes. Oh, that's what I think. I miss now in the most.

Like, now it feels like the lineups are weird. We're like, I don't know anybody. There's no hang. We used to hang till the sun came out. They don't hang. It's kind of like they shuffle us to the point where you're just on the show with a bunch of people

you don't have any rapport with. I think these guys have to do so much more with podcasting and all this other bullshit. We just had comedy. So we would do our sets on Monday. and we would just hang downstairs until fucking Tuesday. Shout to the laugh house. It used to close a two,

but they kick us out at three. And then we'd be in South Street just like, are we on the while? Why what the fuck we're doing? So we was already kind of set up for the city because we was all hanging out in Philly before we even thought about coming to New York. Right.

I remember me and Gawry would be fucking, I mean, he would go up at three. And I would be hosting. And then we'd hang out at a coffee shop. We'd try to get chicks to hang out. And then we'd separate and then we'd meet back up again. I remember about Garfrey. I was with this chick on the corner.

The sun's coming up. I saw Garfrey coming down. His stupid little Honda. A little crappy Honda he took from Chicago. And I was like, Garfrey! And he stopped. He was like, you know, Garfin, he was. Yo, what's up, man?

And he backed up and hit a homeless guy. Oh. But he was all he just went, yeah, sorry about that, man. He's like, what's up, Bob? Oh, man. He just bumped him, but it was funny. I was on the floor. Yeah, I would laugh too.

He's like, what the fuck's going on? He's like, yeah, man. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. Yeah. So now, but he, you started this club, the attic, you kind of stepped in and took it over and you and other comics. Yeah. And comics run it. Yeah.

It's pretty much a community. They all help us. We all help each other. It's kind of crazy. And the owner's great, too, because they let them do it. They trust them to do it. They came. Yeah, it was getting me.

But they asked me, could I run it? And I've been running it in spite of the guy that they hire. Yeah. See? And you've done it before? No. He runs it. No.

Oh, yeah, he's done it. I just did it last weekend. Oh, okay. Fucking great. It's a great club. See, that's what it sounds like it's a good club because it's, y'all have your audience. People know y'all, the locals. Probably locals come and hang.

That's the one thing, too. Do you notice that now? Like, there's less of, like, local comics pulling up when you're at the club on the weekend. Yep. Like, it used to be like a lot of locals. They would just be like, oh, man, here. If there's any guest spots, you know, can we come and hang out with your friends? It depends on the city.

They got to be a comedy first city. love going to the city scene after my show. I would love finishing that last show, leaving the comedy club at 12 o'clock, and just meeting comics and just follow with them. Where to go now? I feel back. They do that in, I would say they do that in Cleveland.

Cleveland comics will show up. I was in... Ohio, definitely. Houston, they will do that in Houston. I would say Austin. I'm not even trying to flex, but Paris, they coming out. It's new. So, like, they love...

Everyone's a brand. comic over there. And when they find out there's American anywhere. Yes, because they'll float you around. You ain't paying for shit.

Like, they'll, they're very hospitable. I gotta do, I've got to do you. I've got to do it. I got to do it. Never.

Start the top secret and work your way out. What the fuck took you? Let's take this alone. This dude, because when I, when I should have did it, I didn't.

And now I got a family. Yeah. And I got, when I'm, bring their family with you. Not. Ray, I'm telling you that I took my friend. Why not?

Why not? I brought my wife. To fucking England, we had a blast. He's got a kid. I'm bringing my kid. We go in August. I'm bringing my fucking kid. He wants to go do comic shit.

Like, he wants to be able to like, hey, I'd like to go here and eat a sandwich at two in the morning. You can still do the leave them in the Airbnb, niggins? I did podcasts. I was out. You don't know white girls from Boston. I'm leaving you in the Airbnb. Oh, you're not. Oh, they go.

Plus my son's 12. He wants to be with me. He wants to go hang. Yeah. I mean, you should. You're right. I should bring them. Yeah.

But it's like when I go now, I can't go. I used to be able to do gigs to experience. I got, I got to go. I got to come on and bring a check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I got too much shit. I can't just go have fun at a week. Yeah, like, I'm going to lose money.

I feel like, I feel like. And I learned that. And I don't even have kids, my dad. But that is fun. You know what I mean? Buying a one-way ticket. All-fob. And just knowing, like, hey, I'll get a ticket the day of that I know I'm coming back.

Yeah, I went to answer. Amsterdam with Patrice and Keith. I made, I made shit, but I was with Amsterdam. I was in Amsterdam with Patrice and Keith. And I had a fucking blast. You know what I mean? Yeah. I can't, I can't fuck around like that anymore because my weekends either I got to be with them

because I'm not home or I got to be bringing a check home. I got to go make some money somewhere. But they didn't even like that no more. Meaning like those times have kind of passed, right? Like you're not going to be able to, like, hang out with like Keyves or those. When you're an old man, you get to do that. Well, he's got two strokes. They're going to be fucking acting.

But that's what I'm saying. You want to go somewhere? No. And then if there's somebody that you don't trust, and then if it's somebody younger, you don't really trust them. You get what I'm saying? It took a level of trust. You're like with your homies.

Well, with the boys I take, like, take one of these fucking authentic. Yeah, if you take one of your opener, you don't hang, but then you know, you're paying for everything. Danny would be like, hey, I'm going to do six spots. Hey, dude, I got to go. I'll be back. I'm going to do five spots in Ireland.

Yeah, but we're in the United Kingdom. I'll be back. Yeah. I'll be back in time before you're all. No, but I like that about those guys They will go do shit that I used to do I don't know, it's tough I do gotta go to the UK though

I did it all But that club, I want to say this We're gonna wrap up But that club interests me Because number one, it's a real comedy club Low ceilings It's a small venue I love that shit

Columbus Ohio Oh I fuck with Columbus I did the Don't Tells in Columbus Like a year ago You did it already No I tried to Well you know I didn't do it

No You didn't do it The dough tell is it great, too. Yeah, you can do it. He was going to bring Dave. He said that before I met Dave. There you go. What happened?

Was I being an answer? No, you're not to meet. All right. To the other dude? As long as I wouldn't be an asshole. Because I'm like, I'm usually an asshole. Wait a minute. We're good.

Dude, I promise I never heard of this. Monroe. What up? What do you got? I got a bunch of shit. Let me read it off real quick. Because I'm back on the road, baby. We got your thing right here.

Look right here. Look at it. We got you. Oh, shit. All right. March 25th. I'm in Philly. April, I got that date wrong.

April 26th. I'm in Stanford, Connecticut. May 17th. I'm in Chicago. June 6th. I'm at, what is that? Pasadena. June 26th through the 27th.

I'm in Bactavia. I'm there in New York. I like Bactavia. Great club. October 9th through the 10th. I'm in Glendale, Arizona at this place called Ster Crazy. Then I'm back in L.A. at Burbank.

And then I'm doing Skank. in November and I got one other date that I just forgot. But yeah, I got to go back on the road. I haven't been on the road in two years. Well, you're back, baby. I'm back, baby. Good to see you, man. What are you got, man?

Follow my Instagram at I'm Dave Temple on all social media platforms. Check out my podcast here with Derek Gaines. No need for apologies on YouTube. Just type in NNFA podcast. Yeah, there's my Patreon there. Oh, wow. Someone needs to update their dates. Check out my Patreon show, though.

Suggested for you. I am done with the internet, so you guys get to be my algorithm. Send me all the crazy videos that you think I should be watching and I'll respond to him. What do you got? What's your Instagram?

Monroe Martin I.I.I.I.I. or just go to my website, which is also Monroemartin. com. Martin III. It's Derek Gaines, the great boy on Instagram. Right now you can go rent the

movie on Fandango. Is this thing on with Bradley Cooper? I make a great good. A couple few appearances. That's a whole. You walked into that. Me and Matt just kind of walked into that, and it kind of worked out. That's great.

And I got stuff coming up. No big dates happening yet. But come March, we'll have all kinds of things. I'll put it up on the schedule on my Instagram. And also, no need for apologies with Dave Temple. What do you got, brother? I'm getting on the train. Is it me or is he like one of the coolest dude you've ever met?

Cool, motherfucker, man. Right? He's cool as shit, right? Make sure you check him out. He's going to be over at the Ad Comedy Club. Columbus, Ohio. Columbus, Ohio, one of the fucking great. clubs, the attic comedy club.

We had a chick fall down the stairs, which was hilarious. Okay. Is that me? That's you. No, no shit. All right, there you go. That's me with a cable-knit, sharp-toothed cardigan. Where? There's a lot of buttons. At the bottom right. That's you? Mission, okay.

Danny, what do you got? I'll probably reach out to this club. Let me look at my email. I'm going to reach out. Danny, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Brath. And I'm going to be at Give a Hoot Comedy Club in Berlin, New Jersey, March 20th. McGrath, a headlining McGraw-box, Brewing Company in McGrath, New York,

March 27th and March 28th and New Berlin, New York. Cody, what do you got, brother? You got shit, man. I'm doing one of your shows, you motherfucker. Oh, you can't tell that. It's a don't tell. Son of a bitch. Oh, shit.

I'm doing so-tale. Cody, new guy jumped on tonight, new producer, very funny guy. You're actually going to be with me at Mohegan's son. The 17th and 18th. Cody's going to be there with me, so you want to check it out. Joe, what are you guys?

got. Go to YouTube and type in The Cheese Show and subscribe to the Cheese Show. Show about cheese. All right. Well, go to, oh, man. God damn it, Joe. I'm sold. Punchup.

Live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. Next gig's the 27, 28, Batavia, Illinois at the Comedy Comedy Vault, sorry. Is that right? Yes. Yeah. And then we're going to be me and Cody and Paco are going to be a comics roadhouse. the 17th and 18th of April. And then I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio at the great hilarities, which I love that club,

the 15th through the 16th, correct? Yes. And then, of course, governors 19th and 20th. Go to punchup. Dot live slash Robert Kelly for all that. And join the Patreon. We're going to go to Patreon right now. If you're a fan of the podcast, if you hung in this long, Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly.

We're going to be asking these guys questions. And that's where you go. an extra show me and joe russell cheese russell does extra extra every week for you guys and it helps the show run and all that stuff it's not that much money but it does help keep this fucking thing going i'm not becoming a million offer it not even a thousand there barely a hundred air but we keep these guys coming in and help uh getting this show together we'll see you guys

next time on you know what dude