Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #628 | Pete Correale

Episode Date: March 1, 2026

Pete Correale joins the pod to talk the old days at The Cellar, Moving to upstate NY, and a crazy story about writing for Kevin James's sitcom. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day where it all started before fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the original. Welcome everybody. You know what, dude podcast. We're back again.

and I've had a request for this guest over and over again. Everybody always asks me, and it's here. It's finally here, everybody. First of all, click, like, subscribe if you're watching free on YouTube, you cheap, son of a bitch. If you watch this show more than fucking twice, go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and join the Patreon and support my dental. You talk like that. You live in such a freaking, an unbelievable neighbor.

Pete Correlli, everybody. One of my longest comedy friends in the fucking business came up and made our bones together. Totally. Same exact time, man. We had nothing. Nothing.

Had nothing. God, we'd be on the phone at night, bashing all the other comics. We still do that when we talk. Is there anything fun of it? Listen, I know. Whatever. not going to name names, but I don't know if there's anything fun for two comedians when one of them

was like that Colin Quinn joke, hey, what do you think about that guy? I don't like him. I shut the door. This is great. When somebody brings up some of you, like, dude, I fucking hate that. It's the worst when they go, he's a good guy. You're like, oh, yeah, he's a guy, he's all right. Oh, God, I don't like that. There's nothing better. But we, we, now comics come up now, and they don't even come up, bro. They make videos. The video hits, so they have a, podcast and they're fucking selling out out like beyond me, right? Like, like I'm playing the Wilbur on Friday.

You're doing, yeah. I don't like, it's three-quarters full. I'm like, oh, that's a fun. And then there's some dude doing it Saturday, some young guy. And I go, and he's doing two. And I go, I go, this is me, Bob, looking at the thing. I go, oh, it must turn into like just a little comedy club

on Saturday. And then I look at it, and it's sold out. The dude's been doing standing for 20 minutes, but like everyone's going to come soon. You and I did the process, well, one of the parts of the process as you grow, you know, you break into the cellar, we've broken at the same time. You got to break into New York. And then one of the both things is at one point, like, you become, like, opening in good

friends with Dane Cook, and I become opening and good friends with Jim Brewer. So it's almost like horses. This is my horse. What horse are you on? And, like, every comic went through that. Tom Papa had Jerry sign. I know. You have your pick.

I mean, we had good horses. I said the one time. Our horses got tired, though. I said to Tom Poppe at one time, though. I go, Pop, I was in Vegas doing whatever bullshit show. When I noticed that big theater you're playing with Seinfeld two nights in a row. Yeah. And I was wondering, this goes back years ago to the listeners of your show.

I'm saying this to the comedian Tom Pappar who used to open for Jerry Seinfeld. And I go, so when there's two shows, one, one night and one the next, is there an agenda? Like, do you hang out with Jerry? Do you just say, I'll see you tomorrow night at the show? And Tom goes, oh, no, there's a whole agenda. Really? That's what I do. And I go, what is that?

And he goes, well, you wake up in the morning and you meet for breakfast. What? Yes. Okay. And you have breakfast with Jerry. Then you go back to your room to refresh. Then Jerry, and this is whenever Tom would be on the road with him, Jerry gets a movie theater to watch a movie, but the whole movie theater for the two of them.

You have to? And I go, could you not go? Could you be like, Jerry, I got friends in time, doing my thing, I'll catch you tomorrow at the show. And Tom goes, if you never want to play with him again. Really? I go, see, you got to go to the movie to do the show. Do you get the pick of the movie?

Are you in, no? I go, how does the seating work? How close? Like, not next to each other. One in between. So I just did breakfast with this fucking guy. Now I go refresh. I come back.

I got to watch a movie with him. Wait, minute. When you say refresh, do you have to do you have to do you? change outfits? I don't think you have to change outfits, but you just have to shower? You just take a time out from each other's company. Okay, all right. Whatever you do when you're up there. You don't have to put like a certain outfit. Jerry probably writes. Jerry probably goes

up there and writes for the fucking five minutes, right? And then, and then, and then, uh, and then you, uh, you go to the, you go back to the hotel. Again, refresh. Refresh again. I got a lot of refresh. A lot of refresh with Jerry. And then, and then, and then, but I say refresh. I just be go back to the hotel room, Bob.

You meet it. It seems like there's a... I don't know what the... Then you meet for dinner. You're going to meet the dinner before the show? Am I married to this fucking game? Yeah, you got to meet him for dinner. Then you have dinner with him.

Then you're not going to believe this. No, there's not more. You refresh again. When? Just till the car service comes, but when your car comes, you bring your whole bag, then you do the show... Are you adding the word refresher? Is this the word he's using?

No, I'm using the word refresh, but... But the point is, it's... The gig isn't just... the gig. It's an all, it's a job. So when you think having Jerry as your horse is a good horse, I don't know what they mean you do. They brew it didn't make me until the show. Yeah, Dan didn't. I mean,

we had to do some stupid shit, like get lunch or something and do something like that, but not. I remember one Vegas festival, you and I only staying at the top of the... I only refreshed once with Dan. But you guys were staying at like the, in the penthouse? Dude. In Vegas or something? I mean, it's weird.

Yeah, we had the in the Caesar Palace. They have the two towers, the original two towers. But the top floor, it's only two rooms. The whole tower, the whole tower. Oh, my God. So when you go up, there's just a dude at a podium and he'll, hey, welcome to the blah, blah, blah, sweet, whatever it is. And you go left or right. And we went left. And you open the door and it's this, the whole top floor. So you go out to the left is a full kitchen. Like you could have, like, I mean, It's like, you know, huge eight-burner stove, you know, dining room table for 20 people. Then over to the right is another, like one of those rooms with a spiral staircase to the second floor type shit, like the Scarface Room type thing. Then you go down further. There's another regular kind of but sick bedroom.

Then you go down, there's a huge living room with like books, like real books you can just sit down and read. And then they have another, they have like a little area, almost like an outdoor Italian cafe with a fountain. so there's a fountain inside. Then you go to the left. There was my room, which is a huge room with two cedar walking closets with a steam room and sauna and a five-person

jacuzzi tub. That was my room. In your room? Yeah, in the room. Then you go out to the balcony. The balcony is a 10-person jacuzzi and a lap pool outside. Oh, my God. Yeah, that was wild. Oh, my God. That was wild. That was... Wow.

That was those... I mean, I mean, I did a lot of fun stuff with that, dude. That was fun. But you in particular, I think about you sometimes and I see all your videos and the things you do and stuff. And like, you're like, sometimes I watch these rock and roll documentaries and you see like this is like a bassist that like is in a band. You call me the bassist?

No, but hear me out. All right. That's in a band that I like. Okay. I'm like, oh, he's in that band. But then I'm like, oh my God, he wrote that. song oh he's with them for that song like like every comic respects you that i know that i respect they all respect you they work with you they know you like you're like you've worked you you you you

it's a hard thing to explain same thing with voss voss rich voss gets made fun of so much bus ball you make him the bassist and me like the guitar player could i be the drummer i'd rather let me be the drummer you just if you tell the story again i just want to be the drummer i don't want to be the fucking bassist. But you're always like, I know, nobody wants to be the bassist. I don't want the fucking bassist.

Speaking of that, there's that aspect, too. You did play the drummer and the leery thing. Where are we going with the acting, bro? Is there any of that going on? Dude, I haven't been on an edition in two years,

maybe three. Really? I don't know what happened with acting. Why? This isn't by your choice? I don't, I never, you know what happened?

Do you have an agent, like a TV agent? No, I don't act. I can't. A couple of maybe six, seven years ago, I'm not even trying anymore. I'm fucking, I don't act. I don't know.

I don't care. Everything I ever got was from somebody. You know what I mean? When you book something was like Louis or Dennis or whoever, I very rarely did you, I mean, law and order. What about that thing in San Diego? Remember that? Oh, that was a adrenaline. You, bro, man, when we were first starting out, when we first started out.

You were fucking hot as an eye actor, too. I mean, I was a young buck back then, right? No, but it doesn't matter about young or not the acting child. Like, I think you got a guest spot, like not even a main spot on a show, and they liked you so much that they blew it up? No, it was a TV show, and it came down to me and this other guy. This one, me and Dawn. Dawn had moved out to L.A.

I moved to New York. Then Dawn moved to L.A. And I remember she called me, saying, hey, I'm moving to L.A. with a friend of mine from South Boston. I go, if you go to L.A., this is the end. Like, you're going to meet somebody. I said, you're going to wind up meeting somebody, and you're going to wind up getting married

and you're going to have kids and we're done. I'm just letting you know that. You go to L.A., we're done. What happened was, she went to L.A., and I wound up going out there, I booked this pilot, and I wound up staying with her

as like a friend. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, oh, there must have been a lot of sexual attention. I mean, bro, you're out there as a friend, but you're on the cusp of stodum, and you told her if she moved out there,

it wasn't even, It wasn't even going to, we're not even going to be together anymore, but I'm coming out there. And I'm crashing on your couch right before I become a fucking TV star just to let you know what you missed out. A little bit. We were sleeping in the same back, too. And I remember, I remember back then when you and I were already very good friends. Yeah. You had a river Phoenix level acting confidence.

You had that, you had River Phoenix level. Like, when you want to have Dom De Louise. But when you went on an audition, you expected. to get it. Well, I didn't even expect to get through the dialogue before they told me to get the fuck out. I loved acting. I loved it. What do you mean?

I loved it. Are you dead? Are we talking in heavy right now? What the fuck? I don't do. Listen, here's the thing is the, that process is different now.

Why? Because now they want you to go to record yourself and send a tape. So do it. Yeah, but I do, when you walk into a room with somebody and you act with them in front of the director, it's, it was a thing I kind of learned how to do to go in and I'm there. They're right there. The guy who makes the... Brian Callan is excellent at that show.

You know that part on that show? Hey, Bobby, you scoched to you right, man. Oh, this fucking... Oh, that's fucking... Holy shit. Can you pantomime it? You fucking weird? Goosey would have worked around it.

Oh, my God. What a fucking weird. And his voices just goes through you. Hey, Bobby? I mean, and honestly, man, I don't normally say this. We were really in a groove. I was enjoying this conversation. Oh, fucking groove.

And a fucking what? I don't even know what he said. Did you even do what he said? I did. Is that fine? It'd be nice if you did a couple more inches. Oh, fucking Christ. Is that better?

Yes. Oh, my God. Anyways. All right. So that audition I went on, I went in. Which one? The one I booked that show for. The TV show.

I went in fucking fucked up. What do you mean? I just fucked up some lines. I didn't do a good audition. I'm walking out. I literally put my hands on the fucking wall. I went, I stopped. I went, can I do that again, please?

Because I fucked that up. Wow. And if I don't do it again, I'm going to be talking to myself the whole way home on the 405. And the casting lady went, no, you did great. Lied. You were awesome. You did a great job. Fucking lying, because she doesn't give a shit.

Right, right. The dude who, the producer, head guy casting it, went, yeah, let him do it again. Most actors don't want to get it right. Do it again. And I went in and fucking nailed it. And then I went, that's more like it. I walked out. I go, thank you for let me do that.

That would have fucking haunted me. Within eight minutes of being back on the highway, I get a call for my agent. You're in the running. It's $9,500 an episode we get it up to. I want to get it up to a 15. And I'm like, huh? 9,000.

Are you, like that doesn't even make sense to me. Oh, my God. I go, okay, calls me back. 15, that's it. Final law for you take it to leave it. I go, fucking take it, you maniac. He asked me that question. So it was down.

me and this other guy and I'm staying with Dawn. Right. And we find out three days later, they're going to make the decision in three days. It's me and this other guy. Who looks exactly like me, by the way, except a little younger. And I remember getting the phone call. And they were like, you didn't get it. And I literally was just, I kind of fell.

I was just like, okay. And then they go, my agent goes, but they like you so much, they want to put you in the cast. And I was like, what is he? They want you in the cast. they were only going to pay you your original 9-5. I go, I don't give it. That's fucking great. I would have taken that.

And he goes, but I go, you get killed in the first episode. So I was like. But that changed. I go, I don't give a shit. I'm in a pilot for a show. I'm getting $9,500. Are you nuts? I have nothing.

Bro, I take that now. I only need 40 to get fucking sag coverage again, the fucking medical, medical medical. Jesus, great. So, so I said, fucking great. We go, they go to San, I go, Don, I got to go, went down to San Diego.

I remember, I was so stupid. I sat out on the curb the first day smoking butts because that's one we used to, remember we used to smoke. Oh, fucking smoke. There's smoke butts. And the lady comes up, she goes, Mr. Kelly, is everything okay with your trailer? I go, what? She goes, your trailer.

I was sitting in front of my trailer. It wasn't my name. It was my character's name. I didn't even recognize it. I thought it was some guy named's fucking buck or whatever my name was. So dude, I remember, no, I'm cool. And I went open the trailer. It had like a little fucking couch. It had a bathroom. I was, I was like, I was inside there.

I sat in every chair. I was like, this is the best thing ever. So we go on set and I'm, you know me, we're from New York. We're comics from New York. I'm busting balls. The head guy from Fox didn't know this shows up wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He looked like a fat magnum PI. And the guy,

the Frank Lupo, go, the main guy who got me, liked me. He goes, Hey, this is whoever, whatever. What do you think of his shirt? Because he was, I just go, this guy looks like a fuck. What do you? You love fucking Margaritaville? I bet you cruise a lot.

You love cruising this dude? I start trashing this dude. Head of Fox. Head of Fox. I'm trash. I'm like, look at this fucking guy. Dude, I'm pretty sure they got hair transplants. You can take care of whatever that thing is on a couple of it.

I'm trashing this, dude. I get a call that day. We want to keep you in as a regular character. We're going to pay you the same. You're going to be in the show. we don't want to kill you off. We're going to make you injured in the first episode. Oh, my God.

So I'm like, what, this is, this is the, this is the Hollywood story. This is what, I'm going to be telling this on fucking Jay Leno. I'm going to be, this is my little, you know. Bro. I wrote on a couple of sitcoms, and when an actor would audition or do a part so well that we rewrote their situation, that's a level of acting. That's rarefied. Oh, bro.

Why do you want to show? This is hilarious. This is the funniest thing ever. This is the second time that Peter spilled his fucking dumb blue moon. Dude, because you're a guinea. You can't talk with your hands. The reason I had to move five inches over is because your hands are flailing. Oh, my God.

I am so sorry. Get no paper towels. How are you going to clean that? What? How are you going to clean that? What? No, thank you for doing that. All right.

Can you get him another beer, though? but put the beer over there. Over there. Thank you, Joe. Wake up the cup. Now I'm knocking shit over. I'm so embarrassed. You should be embarrassed.

We did the bonfire today, and you, he knocked the beer over into Jacob's backpack. Me and fucking Jake. Me and Jacob was so fucking furious because he hates beer. He's a health freak. He doesn't do any of that shit. And you knocked it not only on his backpack, his backpack was open. It went into his fucking backpack. God.

Crazy that I just did that again. Hey man, listen, if you need help with drinking, just talk to me. You don't have to just knock it over. No, I haven't drank in a while, and I'm having a good time with you this whole day. We're getting another beer, but we're putting it way over. Because you talk with your hands, dude. You're a fucking Italian. All right.

We need to get back to this because I'm getting re-excited, and I remember feeling jealous. Did you? And I'm feeling jealous again. Of course I'm jealous at the time, man. You were crushing it. So now you got this part. I got the part. You didn't get the part, but then they fucking gave you another part that way you die.

And then they made you not die. I mean, you were on. I'm on it. You were River Phoenix. I was, I felt like this was it. Like this, I went, I booked stuff in New York, which is great. I did a, a couple of things in New York. I booked this, you know, I booked a few things in New York.

But going to Hollywood and going against, back then, you had to go out there for pilot season. So you had to go out there for three months. Remember pilot season? Oh, my God, yeah. If you wanted to book a TV show or anything. thing. You had to go out to L.A. for three months and go to the NBC, Fox studio. You had to go on the lot, walk through like an old western town with horses and shit. You had to go walk through like downtown Manhattan in the middle of the car. You had to go and go to some bungalow with, by the time you get there,

you're just sweating. You got it. You got to slow it down for you listen to. Because what you're saying is really amazing. When it was pilot season, we would go out like you're saying. Yeah. And you would stay, like I stayed in the Oakwood apartment. Oh, they were fucking bad. And the thing about, and so you'd stay in these apartments where you could stay for the listeners temporarily. Well, that goes back to Dawn. She had an apartment in Santa Monica. So I stayed with her.

Oh. My first pilot season, I stayed with my friend Joe Yonetti on a blow-up fucking mattress in his closet. I didn't give a fuck. You know what I mean? But when I went back for this, I stayed with Dawn at her apartment in Santa Monica. And what Bobby's talking about when you go off of pilot season is you're out there because you want to get auditions. And when you get them, you got to be there. And what you just brought up, which is so funny, I want to make it clear to the listeners, is when you'll get an audition and they'll say like it's a bungalow one-twenty-three.

Which is impossible to find. Right. But you go on like it's on the Warner Brothers lot. And you've got to go on the lot and you've got to walk to find this bungalow. But you're passing all your dreams. I mean, I remember one time Kevin Kossner came. by on a fucking golf cart with a tan and I'm like

oh my God I'll be seeing him from time to time if I get this part you know what I mean it's like for a half a second you're in Willie Wonka's factory and you're just going in between the oompa-loompas trying to get to your audition and then you don't get it

and then it's time for you to leave magic land you suck get the fuck out of it going home on your car you shit Honda and driving off the lot is, and the worst part about going to these auditions, I had to cool down because the heat out, by the time you walked a mile and a half to that bungalow 62, and you just sit in there trying, I had to like cool, I had to cool, I had a cool, then you get in there, you do the thing, and it happens like that.

It's like that, and then you're back in that car on the highway. Totally. And the worst is when you got more than one audition. But the thing is when Bobby Kelly, when Robert Kelly is, walking through that lot, especially back during this time period that we're discussing. Yeah. You'll walk into that bungalow thinking you might get it. 100%.

I'm walking to that bungalow thinking, I wonder if I can fucking smoke weed on this lot if anyone would care after I leave. I never get it. I mean, I know I'm not going to get it before. The best line I ever had an audition was one time I auditioned on tape in NBC in New York City and the guy Steve goes to me. I remember Steve. He was such a nice man.

Great guy. Gay guy, I think. 100% not even to think and he goes why didn't you go to LA for pilot season and I said

Steve it's so much easier to just not get the part right here and I almost got that fucking audition I was the closest I ever got to get

anything because I had a line about how much I don't get anything but that's the shit to get you shit the fact that I stopped myself but that

that art is over now you're saying is to get back to the point. Well, you don't have those moments. You know what I mean? The moments. I remember I showed up for Law & Order one day with my, I had a fedora hat. Remember fedora's?

I remember you bringing it back. But I remember that. I remember that Kevin James Wall went and King of Queens and other than that you. I got my things. You know, I get into things. Yeah. And I got into a fedora thing. And I had that dumb hat.

I walked in to Law & Order. I'm like, should I wear the hat? Should I not wear the hat? And I literally said, fuck it. I'm wearing this hat. I put it on, went into the audition. I fucking, I get the audition. And they call me up eight minutes later.

They go, yeah, you got the part Tuesday, be here for a fitting, and bring the fedora. It was the hat. It was, you have those moments. Yeah, yeah. You don't know. How do you have a moment with somebody on Zoom? Well, I will say this one. I was writing on this, Kevin can wait, a sitcom with Kevin James.

That fucking is. sick to me. What? Because that, you got, you got that show. They built a studio for him. I know.

They built a, in Long Island. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Here's the thing with Kevin James. Yeah, I've always loved Kevin James. Me too.

I always felt like, I was, I should be friends with Kevin James. I always felt like I should be around. The people I'm around, fine, but I should be around that dude

because he's like one of us, right? Yeah, yeah, he's like a blue collar dude. He's fucking, he's got a little heaviness. you know, I got the heavy, and he's just that guy. And when he did that after King of Queens,

which was one of my favorite fucking shows, which I related to, too, the relationship they had. That was one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. Of all time. Of all time. And then when you got that thing, I was like, I wasn't jealous. I was like, finally somebody who I felt like me and you should be with that.

Somebody like you or me. But I wasn't acting either, too. But you were right. I was right. Which is crazy. Well, so you, well, I'm just saying it was a different thing. They were, like, the acting aspect of it was funny because the guys that played his buddies on the show, someone like, you would have crushed that. You would have crushed that.

I wanted to be. Did you audition for that? Because that all happened before me. No. Because when he called me, and I had never met him or anything out of nowhere, I get back to my campsite. I was with Jackie in as a message saying, Kevin James said, give him a call. That's crazy. Been a fan.

He's stand up from a distance. I got a room full of writers. I could use a comic in here who's, writes to. Yeah. Would you come and do it, right? What a fucking phone call, though. Did you hang up the phone like this?

I couldn't. You flipped out, right? But it was funny at the time, a manager at the time, she had Judy, she would say, like, I would do these things. Like, I had a deal with CBS

and the pilot didn't go, right? Okay. I did a tour for Jameson Whiskey, and it ended. So I made a deal to try and make a show. So all these things, she goes, You're building relationships.

You're building, and you know when managers say that? And we go, wow, it's bullshit. So then Kevin James, as the story goes, for me at least, is in the writer's room. The show got picked up, so he has a pilot. And now he's got to write it. And he goes, I want to get another comic in here? And he goes, you guys know, anyone know Pete Corielli? Now the showrunner at the time, Bruce Helford, I tried to make a show with.

I know Bruce. I know of him. And he goes, I love Pete. I tried to do a show with him. It didn't go. one of the writers used to do comedy. He still does a bit Michael Loftus, but such a, he's always on Fox and he's such a funny dude. He goes, Pete, he's one of my buddies.

We did Jameson Whiskey tour together. Pete's the best. Let's do it. And then he goes, great. I just got to get through to loop with CBS. And sometimes that could take a little while. CBS goes, well, we love Pete. We just tried to do a pile of them.

So it's like all these failures became a thing that made it easy to do. It's right. It's true. I mean, that happened with FX with me. you know, I did the thing with Leary. Then I got a Louie put me in the thing. I met all those people at a FedEx. So when I went to them with a show, pitched it, they bought it on the spot.

You know what I mean? When you know it is true, the relationships. But what happens with that, if anything happens with those people that you're associated to, right? Yeah. You're associated to that person. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So if that person falls out, you fall out a little bit.

Yeah? Well, I mean, yeah, but isn't that on? So you're going to be, I'm not going to rebuild those fucking, I got, you know what I mean? I got to go to a wrestling thing with Max and, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like we had, we had the time to build those. I could go away for three months back then and go do pilot season. I could, I could, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you don't need them now.

You have them now. Like, I mean, it's not going to happen. But tomorrow, if I had a movie or if I was writing a movie, you're in it. So you still have them. Write a fucking movie, dude. That's the thing. Like, I'm a little more annoyed at my friends in comedy than me.

Somebody, I mean, I do stuff with Sebastian, so I'm joking. It's all, you are in it. What are you talking? That's the thing, that it moved over for comics. I feel bad because my ad, fucking, the head of my ad company that gets ads for shows is here.

But anyway, I know I love doing podcasts. But we, we went from acting to this. Yeah. You understand? We had stand-up. There was no such thing as a podcast when we came up. There was stand-up or getting a TV show.

Right. And then maybe a movie. But a TV show was like fucking gold to us. If we get a show on the air, that's when we sold out the room. We did all that. But our stand-up was number one. And then the TV or movie thing was hanging in there trying to get something like that, right? Or sell a pilot, make a show.

If you got a TV show. But now, you gotta have one of these. Well, it seems like it, right? If you don't have one, you better be on everybody. You either have one or you gotta be on a party. I gotta tell you one story. I've never told on air.

Really? This is great. Not anywhere. And I'm having a few, and I want to tell. And the reason I want to tell it with you is because I really feel like you could relate to this. It's a Kevin James story. Okay.

That was like fucking heavy, man. Really? So, season two, Lee Remedy joined, and it got a lot lighter. She was like, she could talk to him in a way no one else could, and she's just awesome. But season one, it was, for me, it was like, he, basically, when I got there, there was 12 writers and the showrunner. Within 3% about a month of me being there, he fired everybody, including the showrunner. Really? So there was like four of us left and his buddy.

And, you know, I was like, whoa, this guy. And he was always great to me. But the guys who will write in form, they would write jokes about his weight sometimes. And I would never write those jokes. I just felt it wasn't my place. You know, I'm not going to write those kind of jokes. And it was interesting with Kevin, you know, sometimes you be into it, sometimes you wouldn't.

So then one time, and there was another guy named Pete who wrote on the show, who also stayed on. He's from Long Island. best writer ever saw. I love this guy. He's so fucking funny and became really good friends. We would go be sent off to write alone in different times and rooms. So one time we're in a room, we're fucking around, we're writing. But they have a TV and you could always see what's going out on the soundstage. And the show was getting syndicated in France, into France. So they wanted Kevin and the cast to like do a promo for France. Now, you know, it's in, it's going to be subtitled and Kevin doesn't speak French

so they're not going to have them speak they're just going to have them like do some sort of a promo and I'm only telling I didn't even know this I'm just like hanging out with my buddy and we're getting ready to write but then you look at the screen and we're like what's going on over there so the idea was the whole cast that's going to stand behind Kevin and he's in a chair

I can't believe I'm saying this is crazy story and they give him a bowl of macaroni and cheese and the cast that's going to dance and while they're dancing he's going to eat the macaroni and cheese because he's you know Kevin James, you know, like that, right? And now Kevin doesn't know, like, he just comes out to the set.

And they go, hey, he's, you know, it's getting syndicated France. He knows that. Yeah. If we're going to do a promo, he knows that. And then when he sits down, they tell him what the promo is. Oh, okay. So he sits down. Everyone starts dancing.

And he starts eating the macaroni and cheese. He fucking fucks the, I don't know what he'll be saying this. I'll fuck it. But he says he throws the fork aside and he just starts eating it with his hands. Right. He's just stuffing it. And it's like, fucking. And that's what me, the other writer's also named Pete.

We're like, what the fuck? We look over at it. And he's just like, he's like, he's mocking them for fucking, this is what you want me to do? Yeah. Stuffing it in. Yeah. And he's stuffing it. It's all over his face.

And at first the cast don't know what he's doing. So they're still doing the fucking. And then the wife looks in and she sees. And this is her first big break, man. And she's never got a role like this before. she doesn't know how to handle it so she just keeps dancing but it's so saying she starts crying

and now they're fucking dancing and crying now it's like obviously we can't use this if you're crying so you can probably stop dancing right and then someone finally goes cut forget it cut cut cut cut cut cut and they cut the whole thing and Kevin stands up and he's like

you got what you want it and he just kind of flicks his fingers yeah and spits all of it into like a bucket of something and he wipes his hands and he just walks off And it was like, it was, I, listen, it was like, he happens to be heavy, but the guy, he's the greatest sitcom actor ever seen in my life. And he was saying, fuck you for fucking good for him.

That's exactly. Let me tell you something. When I, as being a fat guy. Heavy. The moment was like, oh, fuck. Not heavy. Choose another word. Sorry.

But I thought you to get it. I, I told the story before. Every, they always. want a fat guy being a fat guy. You know what I mean? Which I get. I understand it. They want your shirt off.

They want, at some point, if you're fat, they want your shirt off for some reason. It's like they always want a black guy in a dress. They always want a fat guy shirtless. Oh. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything I got when I was fat, I could fucking, one of the saddest moments of my life when I went to an audition and this, this heavy set chick, you have to go to the

When you go to the room, you go to the casting, and you have to go through the file of the names. And there'll be like Frank and Joni, and then whatever the name of the character is, and you find that, and there's your scene, your script that you're going to read. And this poor girl went in, and she scrolling through all the thing and going,

she finally finds her scene, she's auditioned it for it. She goes, God damn it. I'm like, what's wrong? She goes, can they give her a name? It just read Fat Lady. Oh, shit. It's like, God damn it. It's the last, it's the last form of racism or whatever it is where you can look at

with a fat tub of shit. You know, and I understand it with him, dude. He's like me. He goes up and down, up and down. Yeah. And it's, I remember I did Marron's show. And the last scene, I have to take my shirt off and I was like, guys, is there any way I don't have to take my shirt off?

Can I just have like a shirt underneath it? Yeah. And what, dude? They had to have like a 20 minute meeting. And they came back. No, it's funnier if you're shirtless. And I'm like, yeah, it's funnier because I'm a fatso. You want to see my side tets jiggle.

You know what I mean? But it is, it sucks, dude. But I do want to go on record saying just the greatest dude, the greatest dude he was. And he's a great actor, dude. Where are we on time? I'd love to keep going. Can I pee real quick? Yeah, go pee.

Because I want to keep. Yeah, go pee. Just don't knock your drink up. I won't. I'll be right back. Pete Correlli, I'm telling you right now. It bugs me too because you've never gained weight. There's one thing you can count on in life is that, you know, your friends will change and

become either older or fatter. At some point, it's a great feeling when you haven't seen anybody in a long time and when you see them again and they're fat, you know, like, life got you too. And it's never happened to Correlli. He's been the same fucking good looking Long Island Italian. dude, the same everything since I've met him. He's never changed a bit. Maybe a couple grays here and there,

but he's still holding onto his dark locks. He's still a fucking gorgeous dude. And it really, like I know Danny, when I see Danny 10 years down the road, he's going to be a mess. I know that. I mean, I've seen Jim Norton turn into five different creatures from the earth. I mean, Voss went from a fucking,

a Jewish superhero to just an old fucking Jewish guy. I've seen, I mean, Keith, we all know what happened to him. You know, all my friends, I guess Colin Quinn, I've seen him fat and skinny. I've seen all my friends physically change over the years, but not Pete Correlli. He's been the same good looking thin dude since I met him. And he's a guy that can drink and not be an asshole. he gets fucked up and he's he's just as fucking good sober

as he is fucking drunk high he's just smokes butts he you Correlli I'm sucking your dick here while you're peered but I'm saying this dude what there's one thing like I know like I've always liked men

right me too right and you're you're no dude no dude I'm a little you're one of my friends that is like a fucking American man. So are you because I don't want it to talk to you about something with that. What?

If you don't mind me. No, please go ahead. Are you still smoking cigars? Yes. I feel I've been reading about this lately. Yeah. And I've been finding that like everything from fucking George Burns, who, you know, has a great line about what's your doctor say about smoking cigars.

And he goes, my doctor's dead. Yeah. Yeah. But I've been reading. If you Google it. And you find the right thread? Yeah. Find the right thread.

They say a cigar after dinner. Schwarzenegger swearsby. Yeah. It's good for you. It's good for you, like blood pressure. So I was telling Jackie recently, I think I want to fucking get to the cigar game. Yeah.

And my father, who used to smoke died. He's not from COVID, not from cigars. But I said, I'm going to wait until I see Bobby, because I know Bobby smokes. And I want to see if maybe he could, like, they christen me with the cigars

or at least guide me. like, should I try one, bro? Buddy, let me tell you something about cigars. Yeah. The best part about cigars, it's tobacco and water. There's no chemicals. Schwarzenegger says you should have, every man should have a cigar after dinner. I mean, do it a cigar.

Do you do that? When you can? In the spring, summer and fall I do in the winter, I kind of shut it down. But I have, I'm a member of a cigar lounge up in Westchester. Okay, that's social. That's a social. You're a very social guy. Everybody loves Bobby.

You're not telling me about the cigar. The cigar. Is you? Yeah. Yeah. I fucking, I believe that cigar. Did you have one today? I had one earlier, yeah.

I had a little baby one. Did you smoke the whole thing? How does it take the smoke? No, here's the thing with the cigars. You got to know your time. So if you got a half hour, you're going to smoke a little one, a little fat one. You know what I mean? A little nub.

You got an hour? You got two hours? You're watching a game? You're going to hang out? Like when I go to the lounge, sometimes I go to the lounge in the morning, I'll go there with my phone, I'll get a fucking nice coffee, and I get a nice bat, a nice Tatawahe. Fucking, I light that fucker up. But here's the thing with cigars. When I'm done, I'm done.

I don't, I smoke only premium cigars too. My father, Tatowai Foundation, Davidoff. I don't fuck with shitty brands. You know, I'm not smoking a fucking night owl or whatever the fuck that is. I figured. Yeah. So, but when I'm done, I'm done. Like if I'm smoking and I'm like, I never go past the point of like, I think I want to put this.

I'm done. What does that mean? What does that mean? Some guys will smoke it to the end. You know what I mean? Like this was a $20 cigar. I'm fucking, you got to smoke. When I'm done, I'm done.

I'll leave it in the ashtrap. Where's the enjoyment, though? If I'm not inhaling it, what are you getting? I don't understand. I'll tell you what it is. Right now, me and you're smoking cigars, right? Yeah. You start talking to me.

All right. You talk. So, Bob, I'm trying to figure out what's going on Why these cigars are so popular And so the popular is what you're doing Ishing it and well, now I'm going to talk You take a couple pops off of yours while I'm talking Well, the thing is with cigars man

It's a great conversational thing Because while I'm talking You're going to take a couple puffs It makes you listen Don't ever do that, whatever that is Don't do that Don't ever do that You'll be kidding

You have a similist humor is Sebastian. Sebastian? Yeah, you guys have a very Simple. I like Sebastian. He likes you. He likes you too. And like you guys met three times, but a third time, he fucking, like, now if he sees you, you guys are friends. Everybody likes you, bro. There's something about that.

Well, there's a couple people in this room that don't like me. The ones that produce myself. They'd like me more if I fucking made more money off the show. Fannie, get on it. Joe barely likes me. Cody's here. He has to be. He doesn't know.

He's probably going to leave next week. But here's the thing. Danny hates my guts. I'm just paying his rent in fucking New Jersey right now. As soon as David Tell takes him on the road, he's telling him to go fuck my mother. Oh, really? Is that what's going on over there?

No. They don't know what I sit with a legend. I'm sitting with a legend. Well, the same thing with you, dude. It's funny because when we came up, Me and you, like I have, it's weird to me because when people say Patrice Norton and Keith and Voss and, but yeah, those are my friends. Those, I came, but my contemporary, my, the people that really are my class is you. Godfrey.

Yeah. We're in the same class. All those guys got in the cell. I put two others with us, but yes, I agree. They were above us as far as they were there already and they were. Right. I fucking Billy Burr was already in some sitcom the town or some shit. Yeah, he was gone.

I was renting his apartment. I was sleeping on his couch. Ben Bailey and D.C. Benny right around the same thing. We would do colleges. Yeah. Scolero. Scolaro.

Remember the Scolero? Well, Sclero came after us. A little bit after. But me and you were like, we were like Barrett and for Duke when those two guys. We came in. We came in. A couple years ago, it's a basketball reference. I can't remember who.

Don't tell you. But bottom line is you and I came into the cella at the same time. Same night, right? Broken and kind of took it over from both ends. I host, I would always tell people I got in and I hosted the whole night. And Bobby, I was cleaner. So I hosted the whole night, the whole goddamn night. And Bobby was dirty.

But he killed. That was the end. Wrapped it up. They always put me at the end. And we, and then on the weekend, sometimes when you and I wouldn't get spots there, and our only spots were at Boston Comedy Club, we would walk over and they had a board that would show you who's on that night. Yeah.

And depending on who was on the board, I'd be mad or not. Like if it was like Geraldo and Jay Moore and Quinn, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once a while. Reggie McFadden. Come on, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, dude, we would, this is the thing that I don't know if, they must do it.

I was just old saying it, but we would do these spots. We would come down at 8 o'clock. Yeah. So all day long, we would fuck around, sleep, do whatever. And our night didn't start to like 8 o'clock until the show started. Because shows back then didn't start at 6 or 7. Right. Seller had a 9 o'clock.

She started at, it started at 9. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. There was one show, started at nine, went until two. That was it. And then the Boston had maybe one or two shows, but they went late. So we would come down and hang out all night.

But then after the show, we'd go somewhere. It wasn't over. Right, no. Yeah. Because we were going home to nothing. Nothing, nothing. Your apartment had your tub in the kitchen. That's right.

And you were living in Holland, right? I remember not only if we have nothing, we'd hang out with gay Gerald, the gay bartender that we'd go in I remember that. And sometimes the only thing we'd go to the boiler room with a gay ball. No, because he begged us.

He got guys. We get mad at us. We always go where you want to go. We never go where I want to go. We're going to get Harold to bars. And then we got mad at us when he's like, I want to go to the ramrod. And we'd be like, you'd be like,

we're not going to, I'm not going to a fucking ramrod. It's not happening. Then one day we broke, remember? One night we were like, You went, you're like, all right, we'll go out of the fucking stupid club. We went in. I remember we went in. We went right to the pool table because that was like the manliest thing that we could do.

And then you went, you go, you go, Bobby, I got to go to the bathroom. I go, all right, it's over in the corner. You go, you got to come with me because that's where all the action happens. Oh, my God. And then we went to the bathroom. And I'm like, dude, it was the smallest bathroom. I go, dude, they think we're coming in here to do some action. Can you imagine how easy your life would be if you were gay?

Oh, buddy. Oh, we had so much fun with Gerald. Oh, my God. Even just playing pool, I could have been like, it's not my turn to shoot. Does anyone want to blow me? We've tilted my turn again. It was just a wonderful.

It was so... I remember one time we went to Gerald's Christmas party. This is how gay this guy was. Gerald. This is one... Tell people who Gerald was, though, because nobody knows. Oh! Gerald was the bartender at the comedy seller

And he wrote he wrote a book He was a novelist I got the book And fucking Colin said it was good And that's all it took for Gerald I think he was Stephen King Right ever that? So one time Gerald had a Christmas party

And I come there Jackie and with Jackie We come up to stairs And I go like how's it going He goes, I'm so upset I'm like which one? My roommates decorated the tree they trimmed the tree without me they trimmed the tree without me beat oh

let me go like this oh oh dude there's a dead on fucking gerald oh oh i don't get this dirty but if i was gay i bet that's what he does when you come on him he's like oh oh dude i forgot all about gerald dude gerald we used to hang with gerald all the time where are you going guys i tell you to two, and I'm switching gears here, but when I left New York, and it was hard to leave this scene, right? You feel like when you leave this scene,

you know, oh my God, am I going to still be a good comedian, am I this or that? And the two biggest things that happened to me was, one, I opened, Brian Regan gave me a call and he was, I want to do some shows with me. Love Brian Reacon. Yeah, what a great guy. Dude, that guy is so,

he showed up at my shows at Wise Guys just to watch. And I was like, I'm so, paranoid and fucking from Boston. Like, this guy came here just to hate me. You know what I mean? Like this guy's, he was just coming to hang out. Awesome. It's one of the best comics in the world.

Sells out all his fucking shows. Murders. He probably loved you too. Because you, he doesn't, it's not about material. It's about the crowd reaction. Yeah. Whether you do his kind of stuff and that, because you and I are not clean and he is. Yeah. But he probably loved you just because you fucking killed it. I don't know. I just, he did that twice.

He did it in, uh, in, uh, fucking Minnesota. Acme in Minneapolis. Oh, you played it? Yeah. Bro. What a club. That's a very prestigious club.

I've never played that. That club is probably one of the best clubs in the country. I know it is. I still played a mall, the fucking mall of America. I want to kill myself. Don't bring it up. Don't bring it up.

Yeah, but like... I remember I'll tell you a quick story about the mall. Yeah. The opener, I was there the first time. There's six people in the crowd. I don't know. It's like a fucking 300-seater. the backdrop is like a $20,000 backdrop of Minneapolis,

but it's 3D. So you're in front of this masterpiece and there's six people. Like they don't, this does, I felt bad for the fucking artwork. Like it deserves to be in front of more people. Like put it in the museum, not in front of my fucking six people.

And the host went up, fucking ate his dick with some weird shit. And then brought me up like this. Are you guys ready? You guys, come on! I want it all for the six people. I want, give it up for Robert Kelly! Right, right.

Yeah, well... I went up, I go, why would you fucking do that to these people? So then, I was talking to the guy, and apparently a few weeks before, they had a competition where you got to leave your hands on the competition, on the car, to win the car. And somebody committed suicide. some guy had a samurai sword

on the top floor because it's the Mall of America the biggest mall in the country and he was on the top and he had a samurai sword and the cops were chasing him and he jumped off the balcony and landed on the floor

of everybody with the car and one of the guys kept his hand on the car I was like Oh that's a Seinfeld episode Are you kidding me? I was like I said that to this kid

I go Why aren't you guys doing a joke about that? He goes because somebody died. I was like, fuck you, you're not funny. I hate your life. I'm never coming back here again. Look at it. Yeah, but well, the Acme one, though, that's a good one to get into.

But anyway, Brian, getting back to Brian Regan, when I opened for him, it was like a theater the first night, and he does some joke and it doesn't do good. And he goes, that was a new one, folks. Appreciate the feedback, you know, as he does, which that gets the laugh. And he comes off and I'm like, and I go, you do new stuff at a theater? And he goes, where else am I going to do it, Pete? I mean, I don't play the clubs and stuff like that. I was like, wow, so that was eye-opening.

This is when I left New York City. And then I was playing steel stacks in Pennsylvania with you. Remember that? My parents were there and stuff. My dad loved you. You fucking... No, my dad loved you, man. You fucking blew me off the stage.

I don't think I did that. By the way, you used to blow me off the stage in all those colleges that made my life miserable early on. So what the fuck? I almost hug myself and fucking. fucking all. Sunni Delhi. Remember Sunni Delhi? There was so many of them

arrived, Bob. Sunni Delhi is like a black college up in the middle of the woods in fucking upstate New York. And I remember you went up. It's just a hell gig. And all the black students were leaving while you were on stage.

And I stupidly went, I didn't know. I go, what's going on? He goes, yeah, I mean, this motherfucker's corny. And I was like, ah, dude, he's funny, man. What the fuck, man? Maybe you're, I started fucking with him. They're like, you're funny.

We're going to stay for you. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. I'm corny, too. They're also the one in Boston, where I met Dawn. You killed and I fucking ate it. Yeah, but this, I'll tell you why I deserve. So many times.

I deserve this one. Was Keith with us? No, it was just me and you. I went there with Keith one time. Keith Robinson, he was headlining. And I went on, he was fucking with the whole way. And I went on and fucking crushed it in front of Keith. And he was like, you, and I was like, yeah, fuck you.

You can't follow me. I went back the next time. You went on before me there, and you fucking murdered. Are you talking about in Boston? No, you murdered at the Stacks thing. It was like an old factory. Oh, but the reason I bring up the Stacks is because I was talking to you afterwards. And I go, Bob, or before, I go, I still look at the cellar to see who's playing that night and stuff like this.

And you go, you go, dude, we did stand-up every night for all those years. Because we didn't know what the fuck we're doing. now we know how to do it. You know how to do it. You don't have to be up to every night. You know, you work it out, you this and that, but it's not, it's, that's it. Let them all go up every night.

We don't, you know, and just kind of like, you really made a big difference for me that when you said. I do, I do have a question for you because when you, as, and I'm not, I'm just saying this, you're one of the most, you're polished, right? Your jokes are polished. They're fucking brilliant joke. You're writing of jokes.

You're a writer. But you're also, you know, I perform and I can be vulnerable on stage. I can be honest on stage and vulnerable. That's kind of my thing. Am I the greatest writer? I'm not. But I can be vulnerable. I can perform.

I know how to act and perform and tell the story and be able to kill with that, right? But you, you have the performance part of it because you're you. There's nobody like Correalee. You're you. But you also have the writing. Like you did jokes tonight about the news. You talked about it. It's like, fuck, that's such a good joke.

But the way you do it is fucking you, which is this crazy. You know, you don't get that much. When you moved out of the city, and I've always wanted to ask you this, you moved out of the city and you went to upstate, not upstate New York, not where I, I'm, you know, people say I'm up. I'm 50 minutes out of the city. city. You moved to fucking upstate New York. Was that to be, like, why there? Why in that spot?

What was that about? I know you didn't have to be in the city anymore. I understand that. Yeah, yeah. But I'm still like 50 minutes away. Like, I'm still kind of in touch with this stuff. You know what I mean? I can come into the city once or twice a week to do this stuff or do sets or

whatever. But you moved the fuck in the middle of nowhere. Right. What was that? it was well first i moved to l.A. for a year right and then jackie got pregnant so she wanted to be in a have family okay so that's why i left l.a and i was starting to like l.a not the clubs guy wasn't i mean the first time i played the fucking comedy store and the guy's like oh tommy oh my god he was like she said something like uh really like the way you flowed with from that one bike what is this

guy saying right now is he like dissected my shit i just say yes i pass that give me the fucking code to park, whatever the fuck. What the fuck are you saying to me, right? I remember called Sebastian after that code. I pass, but I'm never playing there in my life. I go, this is the gayest shit. I don't know.

What the fuck were we talking about? Real quick, we did it. I was going to let you know, we edited something out because we were talking shit about somebody. I just want you to, you'll never know who. But if you're thinking of Jew, it was. If you're going, they were talking of shit about me. It's you.

Go ahead. Where were we, where were we though? You were right before. You were talking about why you moved up there. You left L.A. Yeah, yeah. So then when I left L.A. You liked L.A. Yeah, but it was a little bit of that Regan thing where I was

like, I guess I don't need to be there, but Bob it wasn't, I would go down to the comedy seller. Yeah. And everybody was like fucking mad that they're not famous. And it was such a drag, and I felt like it was kind of sucking the wind out of my sales a

little bit. Right. And I was guilty of it too, man. I'd be like, why is that guy got this and I don't have that? And then the new crew that was coming in, I've just, I've never been, you've been better than me at this and I see the videos of you doing it

from the Joe lists and all of them. You're very supportive of the people beyond this. Yeah, because they don't care about it. Well, I was just still trying to get my own Well, because they, you know, Quinn took me under his wing.

Right. You go back. You go back to Kevin Knox in Boston. You go back to Tony V. You know, these guys who kind of took me under my way. And when I got here, I remember when, you know, Colin Quinn would fight for me to get on tough crowd. And they were like, we don't want, we want this one.

And he was like, no, I want him. I mean, Louis just said, I want to put you in that shit. I want to, you know. Look, even going to. They would do it. Yeah. So it's like, when I see. of those younger guys.

It was like, I know, there's something about this individual, you know what I mean? That's funny. You know, even these fucking knuckleheads. Yeah. Anyone I would want to help, though, like, yeah. Let's just take Dan Soda, right? Yeah. Great, hilarious, hilarious, awesome comedian. Yeah.

I don't need to encourage him. He's already blowing me away. You know what I said? It was blowing me away, guys. Yeah, but I was like, I met him. I met Dan when he was slinging. Slinging guacamole. You know what I mean?

I remember he came on this podcast. It was just me and DeRosa at the time. And he came on the podcast. DeRosa. Oh, my God. I love DeRosa. These guys are so hilarious. Well, he was trying.

Dan came on and did a bunch of voices. It was hilarious. I remember when he left, I was like, Dawn, that kid's fun. Like, I like having fun. But the soda tells a story about me and him having a cigarette outside me busting his balls. And I'm like, bro, all I remember of you is you being, like, famous pretty quickly and me being jealous. Oh, my God. I don't remember this fucking buff.

period of you guys going for anything being Bobby weather. Oh, let's get that fucking. Like Mark Norman? I turn around Mark Norman selling out places that are on my fucking bucket list. It's, it's, I feel so, so, so yeah.

So it was like, is that why you move? No, it wasn't why I moved, but it wasn't like I didn't want to come walking in here with my fucking pom-poms of these guys either. So I was like, I was done. It ran its cause and it was done. And then after that, Let me just say, but financially, it's cheaper to go up there.

You get a house, you can live better than living in the city, right? Was that a, was that as a factor? Did that weigh in? Like, I can get a nice place. Well, I owned my apartment in the city, so it was like, I, like, I had a little bit of a tub. No, no, I had bought an apartment with a, with a balcony, with a roof deck and all this. It was really kind of a neat place. Yeah.

But it was, yeah, it was definitely all a struggle. It was definitely all a struggle. Yeah. Like, you know, whereas that was totally taken out of the equation. Right. Which is interesting, though, is like, I lived where I lived for like about 12 years. And now I recently moved to this really cool town outside of Rochester, similar probably to how you live.

And I said to my wife, when we made the move, I was like, which was pricier and stuff like that. I was like, but the reason I made the move was the same thing you talk about, the school public school is like the 150th best public school in the nation. Wow. And I wanted my kid, like, let's get at it. She's getting good grades in this little town we're in. And I said to my wife, let's all get at it. Like, like, I could, like, never work again in this shit fucking town.

I'm living in now. Right. Let's get the fuck out of here. Let's get back in the game. Yeah. Let's live where the prices are higher and I need to make more money. Yeah. I need, like, it's too early to bow out.

Right. So, so, yeah, I didn't move there because it was cheap, but it was so cheap. Yeah. That I could like never work instead. It got retarded. A pocket ticket was $7. When I first moved there. That's retarded.

That is like who would. I mean, a couple of coins. All of them. Bro. I'm glad you told me this. But 10 years, my taxes were $3,000. Fuck off. I am not even.

Lying to you. Because I lived in, the town I lived in was this old, but it was a college town, and the school's good and stuff. But they had this 100-year-old law where they wanted people to live in the village, so they would make the taxes lower for the people in the village. You lived in the town. In Fredonia. So right outside of my town, just like down the block over the creek, and the taxes doubled. And it was just a loophole. Yeah.

And I bought this old Victorian that was abandoned. My house, I bought my house for, I want to say, $120,000. Jesus Christ. What is it the fucking 20s? But I sold it for $4.50. We fixed it up. We made it so cool.

But the only reason I bring it to money, at the end, my town, the water was fucked up. In the town? Yeah, like the pipes were breaking. the reservoir was a mess. A lot of things were going bad. Right. A lot of things were going bad. Anyway, maybe we take it out too.

No, you stop. What the fuck? Taking everything out. Very interesting. Because no, because when you moved, it was a thing because I'm, we're running parallel paths as far as wife, kid.

Right. You know what I mean? Like when I moved out of the city, it scared the fuck out of me. And I'm only moving 40, 35 minutes outside the city. But I'm like, is that going to take my edge away? Is that going to? make me less funny. Right, right. Because I'm not

here. We were here seven nights a week all night long trying to get stage time. And that's what skimmy. And when you did it, when you left and didn't lose a beat, no. You didn't. Nah, dude, I saw it. You know what I mean? In my

brain, I was like, no, you can do it. You can have a family. You can get a house. You can be in the neighborhood and do it. That's one, another thing when I was to move out of this town that I was in. And, you know, I bought a, I bought a nice house, but it was cheap. And then when I saw that I made a nice fat fucking chunk and we moved up to the place we are now, which is like, again, it was like, if we're going to do this, it's, I'm going to

have to work. I'm going to have to go. I'm going to have to. Good. So it's kind of a similar thing where it's like, I got to, I got to do my podcast. People say, why do you do so many? Because I can. I can make money at it.

I can. I got a kid, I got a house. DJ Lou told me your schedule today. Yeah. And he goes, oh, Bobby gets in it too and he does this, he does that. And he goes, he's totally on and he nails it. But if you see him in between stuff, he definitely is exhausted. But he nails it.

During, when it's time to go, he goes. I love DJ. It was one of my best friends. DJ Loos is the best. And I knew you guys would love each other. I love him. But I was like, literally when he told me, I was like, man, Bobby's a hustle. Am I hustling enough?

I know this guy's hustling. No, seriously. But the town I moved to, when I finally left where I lived, and it's more upscale, I, it's just my whole family, we all felt better. Like, my daughter said to me so many times for the first month, thanks for moving here. And she already liked where we live, but she's like, thanks to move here.

My wife's like, everything. I was like, I said to Jackie, we, we were near have family. That's why we lived where we lived. Right, yeah, yeah. And I go, I love your family, but I can't fucking do this anymore. I can't live near them. Our town is, the water's a mess. On 4th of July last year, we were coming home.

We have good friends. We go away with every year where we live in town. And we're coming back into our town. And I put on the local radio and they go, our judge still can't use his office because the roof is leaking. And we're trying to raise some money to fix the roof in town. And I said, Jackie, we got to get the fuck out of it. Right, right, right.

So where we live now, you know, I get the phone call with me. Max went sledding down at the park tonight. Then he went to the gym. Magical. Yeah, dude. I fucking love. I mean, it's working. So that's why you're here doing this.

Right. So Max can do that. Right. But I would fucking, I would move way up. The problem is when you move a little bit out and you're like, dude, we can get out. I want to get to a house where I can go out and take a piss in my backyard and nobody sees me. Well, you know, I know you know who's really winning? You know who's really?

Because I do that too. You want to go off. No, no. Well, I mean, that's what you say. Sebastian's winning. All the rich guys are winning with this. Bob Mali. Listen. Listen, first of all, what's crazy to me is that when you bring his name up, people like, who?

Because they do know Mark, you know, all the fit. Bob Marley. Bob Marley. Bob Marley. Bob Marley. Bob Marley. Bob Marley, Bob Marley, went to L.A. Bob Mali, went to L.A.

Not the singer, folks. Not the fucking singer, the white guy from Maine. One of, still is, funniest people on planet Earth. Absolutely hilarious. Went to L.A., got a bunch of money, deals, blah, blah, blah. And then him and his wife one day, before any of us moved, before any of us thought of even doing this, said, we're out. And he took, bought houses, real estate in L.A. sold it all

went back to Maine the motherland went back to Maine bought a compound and just tours New England that's it he has an RV takes his local Maine comics very funny they jump in the

RV they drive up to the gig they do the gig they sleep in the and they drive to him and he tours and he spends time when he did that you and and him but you're right Bob Oh, my God. I literally last summer I was in part of my vacation with the family.

We went to Maine. I said, Jack, she knows Bob Molly too. We would go on vacation every year we'd go to this place. And when we'd be in Maine where they would be selling his CDs. So he was such a legend, right? So we hadn't been back in years. And this past year we're in Maine and we're in Ball Harbor. And I go, geez, Jack.

I'm with a Molly still tearing it up around here. Yeah. We go down the block and the theater says coming this Saturday. Oh, already sold out Bob Mall. Dude, he's killing it. He's killing it. He's Bill, he's like, not that's famous as Bill Burr, but he's 10 times happier in the New England area. Fucking legend.

I know. Legend. What, Bill Burr is like. What? We have to cut this out now? No, we don't have to cut this out. He is literally like, so famous. Oh, thank God.

I don't know what you. you're going to say. It's insane. It's insane. I mean, yeah. Like, if you said, oh, I love Colin, someone will interrupt you and go, not as much as Bill Burr. Can you imagine that your career got to a level that someone said they love Pryor and they get interrupted to say they love Robert Kelly

more than Richard Pryor? No, I can't. I can't imagine. Do you hear them laughing? That's the Burr-love. That's the girl who sells my ads for this show is laughing at even the thought of that. But that level of fame is like, insane. Can I say this? I don't know if like when our kids get older

and they want nothing to do with us when they get their girlfriends or boyfriends and you know maybe the you know if I had to be a way and I know look I know Billy's a family guy and there's a way to do it but if I had to be that famous you know what I mean where you're selling out arenas

and anything you say they attack you they're attacking your family you're always under that fucking scrutiny or you're under that magnifying glass and you have to go to these events and you have to wear the thing and go there. I don't know, man. It's like, right now, it's so hard to be a husband and a dad for me. Guy, I'm just saying the guy is famous. What is this whole speech we're doing? I'm just trying to justify him why I'm not famous and why I have nothing. Not either. Who gives him fuck? I'm just trying to, I'm just saying, we play football with the guy. Your friends are

him. He's very famous. It's pretty wild. I'm just trying to make myself feel better why I didn't. I never made it and he did. But he mean not make it. You literally co-hosts the show on series satellite in the middle of the greatest city. Keep going. Talk about this show. You got a show in the best comedy club in the country. Six people there are two of them left. Tonight, Bob. Two of them left. Tonight there were. Two of them literally left. On their own. They didn't even get kicked out. They left on their own. Like, what do you, what is it? Don't forget. There's not much more to making it than what you're doing. Throw my stand up in there. I just said it. You're fucking hilarious.

You're one of my favorites of the world. Buddy, you're one of... I called you a legend tonight. You are in so many ways. You're such a fucking hustler, man. You're such a hustler. And you work so hard. And then the acting.

We went through the whole acting resume tonight. So you should act more, by the way, bro. Yeah, well... I mean, listen, I don't know what is going on with that. You should be auditioning more. I don't know. I get rid of my agent. Why hasn't Affleck?

Damon or Walberg. Not one of them. Not one of the three. I've seen your stand-up and wanted you in one of their movies as like a little Boston guy. I did audition. It's very odd-themed. I did audition for Turtle. What's that?

Oh. Oh, my. Didn't get it. I did audition. I did have an audition. HBO encore. What is it called? I had an audition with Ben Affleck.

Is that a name? Ben Affleck. Is that the name? Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck. if you say that. Well, because I am kind of stupid. Together?

I was in. Right with him? I'm in New Hampshire with Dawn. Before we owned our little place, we used to vacation up there every summer at my uncle's place. We're up there. I got a call from a casting director in Boston, college in Pickman. The lady who owns a Carolina, I think her name is. She loved me.

She was great. Big casting director. She goes, there's a part in a movie, Ben's movie, filming it in Boston. I want to see you. you for this. I literally spent two days on our vacation. Five-day vacation, I spent two of them rehearsing. Rehearsing.

And then we spend one day we have to drive back down to Cambridge. And I go in the room with her and Ben walks in. I'm going to tell you this right now. Oh, you think Ben, you think Ben is good-looking, like, good-looking guy on film

in person, five times better. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Charisma he has when he walks in a room, it sucks the air out. He walks in, I do the audition, but before I do the audition, old yapping Bob, old small talk Kelly, old I'm just one of the fucking guys, Bobo fucking yapped. And I told him a story about Dawn was an esthetician,

and she waxed my ass and you didn't like it dude I'm expecting mind you it's like a bit of my act I was working on at the time where she was waxing my my butt cheeks and then she goes I want to get in there

and I'm like what do you mean? Where? In where? She goes inside there and I'm like you can't get in there nobody's been in there I can't have you in there you're my wife I do the I do the whole thing

yeah she's laughing everybody's laughing Ben and then at the end of it he goes Wow that's interesting See Maybe it's better that sometimes now We're just doing them on tape You know

Listen Pete I love you I love you so much We're going to do a little Patreon I got Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly All the Patreon fans ask questions every week We got a bunch of questions

for the fans. I got to pee again. You can pee. Go pee right now. We're going to go right now. Pete Correlli. Listen, right now. Where can people find you, Pete?

P.corelli.com. You're old school. Dude. You're a second. Pete Correilly.com. He's got dates everywhere. If you don't go see this guy, if any stand-up you go see this year.

Nice, Bob. I'm not even fucking saying this because it's 30 years. I'm not saying this because you're one of my favorite people. One of Patrice O'Neill, Pete Correlli, Louis C.K. When I watch them, it's like these guys

find pennies that we've been walking over the whole time. They look down and find it and they do a joke. His jokes are so precise, so funny, and so amazing.

You've got to go see him. He's got tickets at the co-host music hall. He's doing theaters now, which you should be. He's doing theaters. He's going to be in Montreal, Canada. I mean, I thought you were.

You know, go USA. We beat you in hockey. At the, is that the Beanfield Theater? Aspen, Colorado, Aspen Laugh Fest. They have the festival back there? I had some version of it.

Okay, Las Vegas at the win. He's going to be, that's the 13th. He's all over the place. He's at the depot in Salt Lake City. Hawaii Theater in Honolulu. He's killing it, dude. And I'm glad you're fucking torn again. I'm glad you're doing theaters.

One of the. funniest motherfuckers on earth right now. Go pee. Go check him out of p.karelli.com and make sure you follow him on on the Instagram. His stuff will be in the stuff when we promote this. And we're going to go, Danny, what are you got? That's how I feel about this guy.

I want to say, this is one of the funniest people in stand-up comedy that I've ever been involved with. I love you so goddamn much. I love you too, bro. And we're going to go. He's going to go pee. And we're going to do the questions from Patreon are coming up now. So if you want to be

I mean, he just bumped his head on the light. Danny, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff, and you can see me headline at McGraw-Box-Broom Company and McRaw, New York, New York, on March 27th, and New Berlin, New York on March 28th. Go check out, Danny. Very funny guy, and he had a rough show tonight.

Cody, what do you got? March 5th, New York Comedy Club in Stanford I run a monthly show there called That's Fair Comedy, and April 17th and 18th, I'll be a Mohican son. opening for you. That's right. You're going to be rocking. You smoke cigars?

Yeah. What do you got, Joe? Just go to my Instagram. Just type in Jokes Russell and follow me. For Christ's sake. You're just trying different angles. Just follow Russell,

which is one of the funniest. And go to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly for me. Listen, you go there and you find out when I'm going to be around. You just put your email in. And then whenever I'm going to be around your area, you will know.

I'm going to be at, of course, I'm going to be at the, you're in April. What are you doing? This is it, yeah. Right there. February 27th to 28th, I'll be in Batavia. That's this weekend. Then I'm going to be in Somerville, New Jersey.

You're going to, listen, stop scrolling. Go back up. Right here? Yep, that's what we are. Okay, March 19th. I'm just doing one gig at Verve Restaurant. Is that, am I going, am I doing something before that date?

Before that date is this weekend if it's going to come out after. Okay. March 19th, I'm in Somerville, New Jersey. I'm going to be, oh, I'm doing that with Danny. That's pizza night. We're going to that pizza place. What's that pizza place called?

Delucious. Delocious. April 17th, I'm going to be, of course, 18th with Cody at the Comics Roadhouse and then Point Pleasant at Uncle Vinnie's. Listen, just go there. I'm all over the place.

Cleveland, Ohio, back at Hilaries, the 15th and the 16th. And then in New Orleans, I'm doing a run of down in the south. I'm going to do New Orleans on May 22nd at the Holland Wolf. And then May 23rd, I'll be at the Crescent Theater in Mobile, Alabama. And then I'm going to be at Governors, the 19th, and the 20th in Austin, Texas. I'm doing 4th of July at the mothership. And I'm bringing the family down there. We're going to do a little Texas tour.

Oh, my gosh. You're doing the mothership? Yeah, it's such a great. never been. Dude, it's such a fucking... Have you done Rogan? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, he's great, dude. He's one of the most interesting, cool dudes out there. I really... What's it like? Do you do a whole... Do you do like three hours or something? I think we did three hours or two hours and 50 minutes, something like that, but it goes by like five minutes, because he just goes, he just goes.

It's like me and you talking. He'll just go wherever you want him to go. He has something to say about anything. He'll go down whatever road you want to go down, and he's really interested in stuff. And he knows a lot about stuff. Like, you bring something up. People like, you know, that, you know, it was one of the, you know, he's always been my guy from back when he came, like,

and he came from Boston. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was dirty and I've always been dirty. And back when nobody was supposed to be dirty. But I was like, what about this fucking guy rocking it? Who's talking about getting the head? He was in the chicks, too. I remember opening from a Carolines.

Yeah. And he was very much intact that back then. Yeah, but now he's fucking married. No, I know. But back then he was a handsome guy. I'm just saying that, so he wouldn't have to cut this. too. All right, guys, we're going to patreon.com.

Thank you for being watching the show. And I will see you guys next time on. You know what, dude?