Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #634 | Big Jay Oakerson, Andy Haynes, & Ben Bankas

Episode Date: April 12, 2026

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Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day, where it all started before fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the part of the original. Yeah, what's up, everybody? We're back with the YKWD at the Comedy Cellar Studios above the world-famous comedy seller. I have a great show tonight.

I got some pop-ins. I like a nice pop-in. It reminds me of the old show when fucking nine comics were just pop-in. We'd all talk over each other. But tonight it's three. And maybe another comic might pop in, a special guest. Joe, who do we got tonight? Tonight, we have Big J. O'Kerson. Mr. O. Mr. O. We have Andy

Haynes. And he has the same ring to it. Doesn't have the same ring. It doesn't have the same ring. It does not. And last but not least, we have Ben Bankis. Mr. B. Mr. B. Mr. B. It's so funny.

We just did the show over at the Pussycat, and Jay was supposed to come down. Thank God I didn't come with you. Yeah. I think I didn't come with him. I caught David Tell outside, too, which was a big part of it. It's a problem. Well, he said he goes, he goes, I'll be there in fucking 20 minutes. I was like, great. I'll be there.

I'll just bring you up when you come in. Oh, I'll do my thing. Kim Kong had to pee. It was a whole thing. Yeah. I saw, he's like, dude, I'll drive you down. And I'm like, no. It takes me eight minutes to get down here on the train. It takes me 40 minutes to get down and driving with Jay. Plus, he plays all kinds of songs. Yeah.

And he's a slow, he's like a slow. He has patience. Like he doesn't fly to try to hit the lights. He'll stop because he's smoking cigarettes. That must be nice. That's what the song Key Largo by Bertie Higgins will do to it. Why am I flying? I want to hear this song.

Yeah, which I enjoy when I don't have to be here. But then I come down, I had the three guys go up, and then I go up, and I'm having a fun time. And then I'm like, you know what, it's time for Jay. And I go, guys, special, guest, one of my favorite people, I think I said one of the funniest guys right now working, Big Jay O'Kerson. I wasn't there. Nothing. Jesus. And I called his phone.

I go, we're friends. Nothing. Didn't even answer. Paul was walking through the door. literally went right to voice but thank God Ben Bankus I goes anybody else here and he goes Ben Bankus

but you said it like you didn't want to go up I didn't but Ben went out you fucking hate it right you hate New York I like the city I like the architecture and you know

not the audiences I mean I when I do my shows here I feel like they're great you know and I don't know if I'm going and doing a showcase show sometimes now and it's like a not a red state, they're just like in shock.

Right. But they like it. There were people actually who were, they liked tonight being discussed at. Somebody who's like, I like that. I mean, we're all fucking... To each his own. We're all fucking fucked up.

I mean, you got one, two, three, four, five, six comics tonight. From beginning to Cody and then whatever Joe, weird shit, Joe's doing, what kind of food you like? Was everybody's phone in an envelope?

Yeah, they put them in an envelope. Wow. Well, they went for the yonder bags, but they're too expensive. The guy owns the places, you know. So the whole idea is that if somebody tries to open it, you'll hear the tear. You can't, if you get caught open and you get kicked out. It's so nobody films. No, the thought of it, so nobody films at all.

Yeah. But then they do it at the cellar with plastic disposable. Yeah. But I'm just saying, like, the, Like, what are they listening? That if you're, like, tearing it a little bit? The waitresses are watching everybody. So they're making sure that the bags aren't open.

If they see somebody open a bag, they just kick a home. Well, thank you for having the bags tonight. Oh, we need the bags for you. You should be a bag show. Yeah, I'm all bag. Here's the thing. I fucking love him. I think he's hilarious.

And I love that you do your thing. You know what I mean? I think tonight's is a fucking seven o'clock show. Seven o'clock show. You had a fucking gay doing the front who was laughing. hysterically at this guy. They were great. You had a Palestinian and a Pakistanian. The two Israelis who

really loved them. They loved the... They were actually in the Israeli Army. What do they call that? IDF. IDF. They were two soldiers from the IDF. Angels from heaven. But they came up to... Wait, you had Palestinians and IDF soldiers in your audience? Right behind

them. That's the beauty of New York. Wow. You're going to have both sides... Did the IDF soldiers try to take their seats? What that? Bobby brings nations together. I bring nations together. That's why your show got the ceasefire in Iran. Mushmelios.

Put me over there, dude. I'll do a hot choppelopolis and a fucking marshmallow. It's a ceasefire with, what is it? There's a stipulation. It's like if they fuck it up. They just blow them up. Well, yeah. I don't even know what's happening.

They fucking blow them. I think this is what Trump is a fucking maniac. He's like, well, we're going to make him into the Stone Ages. We're going to fuck you up if you don't do this. He said, white out a civilization. Didn't he tweet? He's like, open the fucking straight.

Yeah, you fucking, you, what do you call? He called them more or something. And then he said, all praise be to Allah. If you're a comic and you don't think he's funny, if you don't think his fucking tweets are funny, I don't know, I don't know what you are, though. I think they're funny. Concerning.

Yeah. Well, look. I think he said retarded on TV the other day. Yeah, yeah. He called the lady a bitch one time. He's a, he's a free speech warrior. He is. He's the one of them.

I mean, it's funny. His two funniest things to me ever, Trump things, were when he was down in Puerto Rico throwing paper towels, like he was shooting baskets. It was pretty great. The models line when he was like, these are the models, says we're going to have 200,000 deaths from COVID. He goes, some models say this.

He goes, I don't know, I don't know these models at all. I mean, I don't know these kind of models. I talk about deaths. That was great. He's got a couple of good. The best one for me was when he. And Rosie O'Donnell The Rosie O'Donnell

That's the best one He goes You said that women are disgusting Fat, lazy blah Blah blah He goes Just Rosie O'Donnell He said

Disgusting fat lazy pigs And he goes Just Rosia Yeah The place went nuts Which made her leave The country by the way Yeah she lives in London

Yeah I know I thought it's like Scotland They might be Ireland She might be Ireland She had a move Where women with Beards and mustaches Uh

Yesterday he claimed That Kim Jong-un Used to think That Biden was retarded. That was what he said that he was retarded. Oh, yeah. Kim Jong-un, yeah. He used to think Biden was fucking retarded. Have you seen Kim Jong-un's been hanging out with his daughter and she's

wearing like matching leather jackets with him? Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Is she going to take over you think? Yeah, yeah. She's in line. We got a fucking evil woman. Yes. She's North Korea, Northwest. Yeah. Northwest Korea. Northwest Korea. America's the best because like there's a full war happening. But like as a comic, you like, doesn't matter what happens. Doesn't

matter if there's a plane crash or there's fucking war you're just like I'm getting on the plane I'm going to the fucking show yeah and there's never like people are so worried people who don't travel are like oh it's scary out there and then you're just on the plane like yeah so uh it's clear skies yeah it's we were talking about that today on the bonfire kim we were talking about suicide and uh the guy kim conna said she drove she was with a headliner two times and they were driving and a dude was on a bridge going to kill himself and the guy was like, we got to make the show, dude. This ain't our problem.

Yeah, you just have to grin at this ain't our problem right now. But it is funny because if you look at all, this is why I love stand-up is that everybody's fucking different. You know what I mean? When I brought him up, it's like people aren't supposed to like

everything he fucking says. You want them to fucking... I personally liked the pushback because when like I'm doing a lot of shows and like when you're doing it only you don't have time to do showcase that sometimes recently I haven't

and it's like you I want to go and just fucking have the audience hate me for a minute just to feel that it's good yeah well I hate you get the idea that what's working in front of your audience versus what it'll work right universally but like my thing is like I don't really even

I used to think like that like I need to be universally funny but now I'm like I don't even care well you have a Oh, no, no, it's almost more. But you see which jokes are good. Like, really good. Exactly. I was going to say placement of what you would do.

It's like, man, this works for like, this is like a, this would pick up new people. Like this is just going to the fans. There's a difference between bombing because it's not funny and people hating you. And I like the hatred a little bit. Oh, really? Well, because I don't get it. So I'm like, I forget. Because you're in a bubble.

I forget what, like, how much people hate what I'm saying. I'd see it online. people like this guy should be shot but people hate you at your shows too there's always a guy who brings his wife there's just I mean some guys you'll love him and then she's like I fucking you know people who are just

annoying usually like they like my comedy but they're just like you know interrupt or whatever and then I have to kick them out anyway and then they're like I'm your biggest fan it's like but yeah but you're annoying those are the worst when you kick out your biggest fans I've kicked out somebody of my biggest fans and the club kicks them out

you're just like yeah dude and they want me to be like do you believe they kicked me out? It's always my favorite is it's like yeah I guess you're not allowed to laugh at this place if you look at Yelp do you ever look at Yelp reviews of just comedy clubs in general? It's so fun. Now. The comments of like they kick me

the same thing. They kicked me out because I was having a good time it's like no you're a fucking psycho. I would like to get an app for comedy clubs where they everybody gets their picture taken coming in and then if you get kicked out you get put on the app. Just a police state. Yeah, I would like a police state with comedy clubs That's China.

But I would also like... Are you describing fascism? I would like that... You'll laugh. Go deeper at this. Your back row face. By your face at the... So if you're on the front row like this,

you get a check mark. Next time you go to a club, you're back row. The best audience members sometimes sit at the back because they're like the most normal people, but they're genuinely there to have fun. They don't want to be part of the show. And I get that. But then the worst people of all time

are like, let's fucking sit. I have a rule when I do the pussy. C-Cat, me or uglier in the front row. No, no hot chicks in the front row. Yeah. No. You don't want to get hard on the stage. You look beautiful at that light.

And honestly, in this light. Thank you very much. That light, a little more. Thank you very much. A bunch of chicks, though, like sometimes it's better to have an eye shot where you can control them, though. Like a Bachelor party type energy or something.

It's better if they're in the back, you're going to be talking to them anyway. In the middle, maybe. But right up front, I can't. Yeah, sure. Because it's such a deal to get them out. Hey, if you're trying to eat clean, you have to check out Green Chef. Green Chef delivers real farm-sourced ingredients with over 40 customizable weekly recipes. Every Green Chef box comes with certified organic produce and responsibly,

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do the research, meal planning and grocery shopping while you enjoy low prep, low mess. And meals for any lifestyle. Right now, go to greenchef.com slash 50 YKWD and use code 50 YKWD to get 50 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping. That's code 50 YKWD at green chef.com slash 50 YKWD. I did a show the other night and there was four teenagers in the front row. Finally. Yeah. It was just them.

You've been dying. It seems to be. Upper East side? Berlin. Okay. You're fucking international. Berlin, Germany? Yeah.

Oh, geez. Yesterday? Berlin, yesterday? Last Wednesday. You had to grow the edges of your mustache back? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Did you sing nine to nine? Yeah, that was, that's why I opened the show. I wasn't trying to flex. Like, I go to Berlin all the time. It just happened.

Do you speak German? No, There's like a big, huge English comedy scene. You can basically do it everywhere in Europe now. They have a scene in China. We had three people on last week. That's what they were telling me. That were all white people from America that moved to China and they started the comedy scene in China.

This is my next move. No, but they said it was all... I will pledge allegiance to... It was all ex-pack. China looks great right now. They're doing good stuff. Oh, yeah, they're doing fantastic. Can you imagine if it was illegal to be annoying?

Yeah. On TikTok, it looks great. But I think when you're there, it's a little more like, it's scary. What is it? Fafafong? Fafafo fafi. Farrar.

Oh, yeah. No, but like with the hot chicks, they're the first ones to go, this is their move, ready? Blah, blah, blah, shut up, and then they go, fuck you. They give you the fuck you. Yeah.

Which is so fucking annoying. And then they'll start to cry. They'll cry. You think hot chicks are worse than ugly chicks? Oh, fuck. I've had some pretty bad ugly chicks. Sure. I mean for fucking.

No, I mean for like, yeah. I mean, but for the audience. Like sometimes the, sometimes the hot chicks act right, I found just because they're like, you know, I don't want to, you know, they want to be cute. They want to stay cute. Yeah. I find it. Then some loud are like, how.

What are like a gorilla? Yeah. Yeah. I find the chubby chicks or the ugly chicks are always, they don't want to be, they don't want attention. The hot chicks, they, I had a girl at a show doing this the whole time. in the middle just doing this her and her four friends if they're single yeah

sure i could see that if they're out on a night out it makes me sick too and i was ignoring her the whole show till finally i go what what she goes this is our night out we haven't been out in a long time that really means a lot excuse i was like you're a fucking mentally ill human being it's any time though i think where the audience feels i said that this

the big difference between an audience being like you're performing for them versus they there at your show. And that energy is what changes. That's the word. I remember, you remember that

the little Jokers Wild Club in Connecticut years ago? Run by the bikers? Yes. Yes. Run by the bikers. Best part was Frank Peppies, Sally's right down the street.

Sure. Oh, good. A lot of good pizza right on the street. Oh, fat bob. But that place was, I went in there. I performed there. The first time I went there,

the whole audience was just like the biker guys and their friends. So you're doing this. And every time you say something, you know, blah, blah, and goes, and that's like you Jimmy, am I right?

And then just the yelling across the room and they just do their own thing and you're like, oh man, I'm a bitch. And you can't shut them down, right? You could try, it wasn't even that they won't let, no, you have to like, I mean, at least how I was placed, I play something like that's,

I try to join in with them almost just kind of like, what do you mean, what is Jimmy, you know, it's like I can kind of like steer into that, but just the idea that you're like, I have to adapt to them completely, they are not going to come around to me. They're not going to stop doing what they're doing. Start focusing out of nowhere.

Did you guys out here ever get triple runs? What'd you call me? Yeah. What's a Tribble Run? Isn't that when someone jerks off to a picture of your wife? Yeah. It is now.

Is that actually what it is? No, it was like... I know. I think? Is it? It was like bad road gigs in the West Coast. What's he called? Tribal run.

This guy, David Tribble, he ran. But he would, like, book you in, like, Bozeman, Montana in, like, a biker's bar. But that was, like, everybody wanted to get that. You'd have, like, 15 minutes, and you'd drive 11 hours for $200. and they just hated you, you know, but you couldn't do anything because they were literal. I did a lot of those gigs in Boston. I did that.

We used to have to go to New Hampshire. Oh, yeah, like Nashville. Yeah, like in bars. Tipton. I remember we were doing it one night with a guy who's hosting. It was his room. He was in a wheelchair. And there was four people at this place.

What's funny about that? There was a snowstorm. And they bring... A wheelchair of skis? The guy... There was a ramp on the stage? We had a... No, he learned how to pop himself up.

up on the stage. He could wheelie and get him voice. So, whoa. The guy's bringing him up is this old Irish fucking dude on his body. He goes, he's shit face. He goes, yeah, I'm bringing up your host. He's in a wheelchair. You know how he got in a wheelchair? He was emptying a fish tank out the window. And it pulled him out. And he went paralyzed.

Why don't you just let go of the fish tank? Fuck it idiot. He just wheeled up. He's like, hey. Get up your dumb shit. Yeah, it was like, me and my friend were like, what the fuck are we doing? funny i didn't do too much of like the like de rosa out of philly has more of those stories he did like the runs of like

uh he's got like paul sallari and all these people pickle man he's like notorious philly guys that did like these goofy shows but i started in the black circuit in philis so all of my like wild like shows like it's not it was never a biker bar it would be like you know

a place with like 300 black dudes wearing the same football jersey and like that kind of shit and you with your black people rules shirt And my black people wore a shirt. We watched, he brought into one of his first, like one of his, maybe fifth time going on stage in a black room. And he had so many reveals.

Oh. He goes up. Big Jay, the reveal, Oakerson. He should have called me the reveal. Like you were doing the layers thing? Not even just the layer. In the first few seconds, one, it took us a full episode of our radio show to get past when I, you know, when I give Tuerre as like handshake, it's complicated handshake.

And then I go over and grab the mic and swing around and do like, like cut the music nice uh what's up and i'm such a black son you all ready to laugh y'all yeah i don't know i do y'all i think i don't say y'all really my version you do i know but it's not yo but it doesn't even matter because i'm just so like i'm like all right now you guys ready laugh i got the fili at it's super hard comedian big jokers dude it's so bad and it's uh

and then i go i start talking right away about how i'm not a panderer i don't pan i don't go like i don't want to call about rap or rappers or a bunch of black stuff. If you like me, great laugh. If you don't, you can boo me off stage. I don't care. And then I just do some weird, like, this is what the acting kicks in?

And I go, I go, well, it's short in here, huh? And then I take off my shirt to reveal. A shirt underneath that says, black people rule. And then I do a few more jokes that get, the crowd is not enjoying me. That's the other thing.

Well, it's funny when I showed the video, I watched it blind. My friend who took the video, my friend Jamie, when I first started comedy, she filmed the same. is on a handy cam for sure it's 1997 probably eight and uh and she's in the background and i was like it's gonna be another video because i always say i want to go back and show my old videos and i go the problem with my old videos is the comedy's terrible we can always laugh at how bad the comedy is but i'm not

bombing it's like i'm always like killing in these situations but it's like just with horseshit i'm like pandering and yeah so i'm getting ready to watch that i don't know this is a set where i'm eating yeah and every time i do another reveal or a thing you hear my friend jamie just this one white on this all back audience go yeah ha ha ha she's just so into it for me so i'm doing the black people rule shirt they're not they're not into it at all

or they laugh a little bit of the shirt but then the jokes aren't going anywhere and then it's before i learned that black crowds also don't like gay shit they don't like gay jokes like where you do the gay thing at all and i go uh yeah i was telling some story i go yeah i got arrested for not taking videotapes back on time and i go everyone's asking what they're in for and i'm like i didn't take back

flubber on time and it gets whatever half-ass laugh and then I go you know I'm getting fucked in the easiest that night and you just hear a guy and you want it's go oh and I go time for another reveal hey guys we were broke to the motherfucker growing up

broke to the motherfucker I keep saying that I wrote a poem about it as I pull this poem out when we're watching it you had props props I was America's first prop I pulled out this thing and so it's an awful joke of opening up the biggest of paper the last time I was that excited It was when the Red Sox won the World Series.

When the Red Sox went to the World Series game four with the Yankees when they won four straight. And I went, oh! When he went for, I got a poem. At me, Ari, and Dan was just so excited. It's all coming back at once. I go, I think I knew right away, I go, it's going to be, I'm going to give the title of the poem.

Like, I don't remember what I said, but I remember, like, the energy of, like, it's going to be a one word. Yeah. Or the poem is going to be just the title of the poem again, and that's it. We were broke to the motherfucker. That was my big thing to pull the paper,

I then fold it back up. minimal laughs of anything. And then joke bomb, joke bomb, and then I go, I forget what I said. My mom sent me

to school one day in unisex pants, but they're just tights. They're just tights. They're not unisex pants. It's not for boys and girls. They're women's tights. And then the crowd's just like,

okay. I'm going, oh, you guys don't understand. You don't believe me, huh? And the crowd's like, they seem like, we believe you fine. We don't care.

Oh, you guys need a visual, I guess. And I'm like, oh, here we go. And then I just drop my pants I'm wearing tights and I wiggle my little ass at the black crowd and you hear a guy go boo! Not us?

I don't think there's anything funnier for a comic, a real comic than when you watch your friends. Take a hot one. There's nothing more interesting to me. There's no redeeming. There's no, it's like, well, the joke, you have to admit

the joke had a nice layer to it. Nothing. No layers to the jokes at all. Oh, then they play. He played my comic fucking... Unleashed. Unleashed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Bobby's Comics Unleashed.

What year is that? It was two years ago. Bobby's not a black comic, but he stands up like he is. Yeah. I've performed for blacks. Yeah. Like two? Actually, I did do a show for two black people once.

It was a Jamaican restaurant. There was an app a few years before COVID called Gig Salad. I don't know if that one thing. I remember that, yeah. But it was basically you just put your name in there. and I'm a comedian and for hire and people would I did a funeral for a 94 year old man

well they just they would just come in they would just be like offer $700 funeral Canada and I'm in Canada and I was like all right I called them they're like yeah you know my dad he really liked comedy I thought maybe it would be funny I'm like okay it was a really nice golf course and it was during the day it was like 4 p.m.

Oh those are fun and They had the big picture, and the wife was there. It was me and a bagpipe guy. And they hired both of us. And so I'm, and we're like waiting for this shit. Like, it's all old people. Everybody's in walkers, basically. And they have like those little triangle white people sandwiches and shit.

And me and the bagpipe guy are just sitting outside like smoking, like smoking a choice, sharing the fucking bagpipe guy. And then the whole thing was like the guy's like, okay, so you're going to do stand up. and then the bagpipe guy's going to come in. You don't even headlighting? There was no structure to it. There was just, the woman went on and was like, hey, it's really sad. My husband died.

And then now we have a comedian. And I go on and just bomb for like women in wheelchairs and fucking walkers. And then it was a scott. The bagpipe came out. And the whole thing, the Scottish funeral is that you take a shot of like a scotch or whatever the fuck. So I had to take a shot with the like,

90-year-old woman whose husband died. And then I was like, let's go to the strip club. Nobody left. And it was, but anyway, so I did that. And then I got another one that was like 200 bucks Jamaican restaurant. And I was taking anything, obviously. So I went, and it was just two ladies in a karaoke machine.

And I had to, and they were like religious black, like, you know, like, don't be swearing, don't be doing it. Like, you couldn't swear. They were Jamaican. Don't swear these two ladies. And then a cop comes in to just get. food. While I'm just with a carry, you know, like the lightest mic?

Sure. Of all time. Like almost like a toy story fucking recorder mic. And the cop was just in there. I was making jokes about it. I'm like, this guy's looking at me. Like, what the fuck are you fucking do? Like, it's, it was very sad.

But the one black show that it was probably, it was also a religious thing. It was in a black Jamaican, uh, kindergarten at night. I don't know. Like, they just opened it at night for, to do comedy and I guess you know the black comics who were my friends

knew that I had a car so they're like fuck it he'll take us that's what he says that car car car got me because I was watching that set I did the other day

and I was like it's so bad but this is a time where it's like I started getting like hey well they do this up in New York we live in Philly

I was like this they do this up in New York on Tuesdays and this is up in New York on Sundays and this is down D.C. on Wednesday and we would do these

and I was driving these comics who were a little older than me who were a little more established I'm just going like Well, he will drive us there, and he can get $25 for the new jack spot they would call it.

But I wanted to say, it's about Canada. And this is an outside perspective, so I wonder if you have a different take. Being inside, I always thought weirdly, even though it's like strange business, the Mark, whatever, the guy. Brezlin? Yeah, right. Brezlin, right? The yuck, yuck's. Yeah.

Like the weird business of it, as a, as like a country, Canada seems like with their comics to make it a way, though, where people can work it as a job. and stuff like that that doesn't exist in America thing where it's like you're just like someone's got a hundred comics in a thing it's like somebody needs somebody for this or that because we would have done theoretically it like in the so when it was in his prime in like the 80s and stuff

they did like people were making a couple hundred grand being a no-name comic and touring the whole country but I mean I love Mark I have a Yucks tattoo and it's kind of gay but Yux is a special place for Canadian comics especially because I

I was like one of, you know, Russell was able to do door deals there eventually. And then, you know, pretty much not many people before I started doing door deals with them. But the idea behind it is brilliant that the brand of yuck yucks, people just buy tickets on a Saturday night and go, we're going to yucks. They have no. Yeah. It's kind of similar to the seller, but people are thinking somebody famous is going to show up. Here they're like, nobody famous is showing up, but I still want to go. And so they're like sold out shows. get on this roster, like, being passed

at a club, but now you can tour, not just one club. Right. So they'll send you for a couple hundred bucks, pay for your hotel and you get like a contract, right? Like for like the whole country. You do sign something. Well, it's, like you're part of their roster. It's like being passed. But they did do the like thing that I always think does. I know that's

a business trying to pick themselves, but like you know, you know, guess that seller's guilty of it too, the exclusivity thing they want you to have. Yeah. Yeah. Now I I would say, if they're making sure you get a couple hundred thousand dollars a year, there's an argument there, but it would be like If you worked the yuck yucks at all, it was like, and they opened up a comic strip, Edmonton Comic Strip. You played that. They're like pissed. They're cooler with it if you're actually like,

you know, like touring, you know, properly because they pay so little that for their comics to go and do a different show. It's kind of, I get where they're coming from. I know what you mean. Rob May you made peace with them, I think. That was a biggie. Yeah. The angriest comic in the world. Rob May or the anger. Oh, yeah, maybe. The, yeah, I forget what I was going to say about it. I had something to say. I'll remember it. I think you guys are better, though, because they have to, you have to do comedy in a way where you have to get a visa. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you have to be making it stricter, too.

So, like, you used to be able to get one and just kind of bum around New York and, you know, whatever. And now Trump's making it. They're like, so where are you actually fucking? Did you ever have the Cirque de Soleil one? No, that's like the sketchy one. That's the P one. Yeah. Yeah, you can, like, sign up for, like, a visa where you only can do, you can't reside here or something?

It's like you, there's like one guy that they call. at the border. He's like, yeah, he's in the circus, and then you just go in. Yeah. But I never did that. But what I was going to say is the big value now a day is for yuck, yuck yuck's type thing is, as a young comic, you can get past, and now you're performing for packed rooms of, like, excited people that you can now film. I mean, that's what I did. I started filming those sets, and those sets, you know, my first viral stuff was just regular people. It wasn't my brow. It was just showcase. You know what I'm saying? But you have that opportunity where here it's a little harder because it's like unless you're past to the cellar

where are you going to get good footage of a packed room you know i'm saying they got a lot they got stand new york is packed all the time they're the stand goths stand is always packed yeah i think they're they're they're going or going yeah i mean it's not what it was i mean when they had carolines they had uh the strip they had gotham they had the cellar they had the bus we had a lot more clubs but there's something to be said they also get like uh they're cliquy and terror also. It was like the, I kind of played everywhere when I was working in the clubs all the time, but like, it's funny, like the Stamped New York guys weren't the, weren't the

comic strip and the comic strip didn't fuck with, like, the seller people in the comic ship didn't cross over very much at one time. It was always like a very, it happens naturally even if there's no barrier to an extent, especially with like the like lower. But you can get by, as soon as you become... With Creek, you know, it's like... As soon as you become famous enough, you're like, I never saw these people over there. As soon as you become famous enough, though, or you sell, they, they're, they're let all that goes away.

You know what I mean? Yeah, with everything. All it goes away. For some reason, it's not a big deal anymore. They're just glad to have you here. Like the seller, I told you, Mani, the old owner, came up to me one night. It was like, you have to work just here. If you can't work to Boston, you can't work anywhere. I was just, if we're going to work here and I was like, all right, well, it was nice to work here. I love you, dude, but I'm out.

I can't do that. I need money. I need all the money I can get. I'm eating fucking once a day. He literally was like, he literally was like, Okay, you can work wherever you want. But I say the obvious thing of that, that's what yuck yucks is, if they're even saying that, at least they're going like, but you're about to tour, essentially. Like, you're about to work here in tour.

So that's a big difference versus, like, the seller was doing. When I got the calls from them, it was like, you can't work to Boston or the corner, and you can't work, the comedy corner on the street. So you have to walk away from those things. These are places that are also giving me more weekend spots because it's different. It's lower clubs, but it's paying me and everything.

And they were like, yeah, you know, you could choose whatever you want, but you can't do us and those other clubs. And it's like, I'm not selling tickets in any of these places. It doesn't matter. Well, you could also just say no. And then they'll go, all right. Yeah, well, I don't know.

You weren't a different position. It's like a make your own career situation with yucks where you can, it's like being hired at a sales company where it's like, yeah, you don't have a ceiling. Like, there's no cap. But like you have to do literally everything. You have to film your own shit. You have to put it out. You have to promote it.

And then, you know, if you're able to get enough people who like you coming, eventually, yeah, we'll give you like a door deal. Your calendar's booked every weekend for the rest of the year. Yeah. Not every weekend. Well, this last year, you kind of blew up.

Yeah. I mean, I in Canada, I kind of blew up first and had like I was selling tickets and touring by like 2022, 2021, and then transitioned it to the, to the U.S. in 2024. Do you live here now or now? Yeah, Austin.

Nice. Yeah. But they're still canceling your shit. Canada canceled a few shows, which was disappointing because they were good shows. They were like, one was like an 800 seat theater, another 700 seats. They were sold out and they canceled it like a few days before. They were doing all kinds of super woke shit. They were going to the people who were against my show were going to the city council meetings,

wearing like fucking dream catchers and doing rain dances. And it was a whole fucking thing. And how do you have that much time during the day? What's to go to the city council? I always say, what's the fear of what it is going to do? I mean, we've had articles written about us that we're Nazis and all kinds of crazy shit. Like, what is the fear? They say that it's, but they're like, well, we're looking out for the community, safety of the community.

I made a joke about that going, like, it's a lot less safe if all of these people that they think are unsafe, all of a sudden, now they're angry. that the favorite their show that they wanted to go to see is now canceled. Do they have anything specific that you said that they canceled over? Well Like did you say shit about like First Nations people or something?

Yes. Okay. I talked about natives and the residential school system in Canada. I made a joke about you've been to Winnipeg. Well, that's the club. I think that's that place, I don't do it because

they're pretty woke. Well, it was what they did, the Voss. Yeah. The Voss thing freaked me out. When he told me what he said, he's like totally a crowd of these ladies that were being loud, obnoxious, bachelor party. And he said they were natives. And he said, like, go back to your wigwams, which is fucking hilarious with that voice

too. Go back to your wigwams. He also said, he put his head to the ground. He goes, I'm seeing if they're gone. But they left. And then whoever the fucking managers, I'm like, dude, I don't like that. He came out and did a whole thing. Like, Voss, don't worry.

He will not be back. and those ladies were blah, blah, blah, and just the same thing, the guy who did the comic strip guy was Soter, who had, it was his buddies in the front table, and they were being proms the whole show,

and then Soter watched him at the end of the show, go up to him and be like, hey, guys, we're going to give you tickets to another show, so you guys come back and, you know, maybe it would be a better time then. It's like, you're putting this on Soter?

Yeah. Like, your friends were obnoxious? That's crazy. Yeah. They're either getting a government grant so they don't care about money or they're, because I've never done rumors.

I went there once just to hang out and they basically were like, we hate you. There's a yuck yuck there. And I think besides yuck yucks, doing business in Canada in any industry is scummier. What are you doing in the U.S.? Because the U.S. has capitalism where it's like, okay, what do you say?

Yeah, it's sold out. Shut the fuck up. Whereas it's like... Some places will bail. Some places will. And then those places, the places that bail usually go under too. Like I had a Minnesota one that did that with six sold out,

which was the first kind of thing in the state. Was that acne or the mall one? Not the mall. But the mall after was like, give it a couple of one. But they, but, you know,

if people want to see it and I think it's way worse for any place to cancel something that people want to see. Did the Mike Ward thing change precedent at all? It wasn't as big. It seemed bigger from the states as far as... Than it was there.

Well, because he, the guy that he made fun of was like some i don't really know a retarded person that did like a like a got talent like america canada's got talent but for like french canadians or so so it's retards retards got talent yeah that was going to say for retards a whole other fuck he's a good guy i don't know what he had to pay something or he yeah it was a lot of money it was like 30k or something i thought it was more than that i thought it was like yeah that was like in the hundred or maybe he didn't have to pay it i actually don't know i think he fought it was I think it was like 30, 25K.

They're trying to claim that, you know, and they banned them from British Columbia. It's a human rights abuse for me to do comedy in certain places. That's what they say. Do you ever get confronted? Like, on the street? I've only ever had positive stuff in the street. I get confronted after a set.

Like, I mean, not super aggressively, but I mean, just in mothership the other day, I did. And it was a great set. Everybody had a great time. Obviously, a couple of people felt left out, and as I was walking to the green room from the little boy up that little ramp

there was two people and they just go yuck yuck, yuck. Maybe they know that you from yuck yucks. Yeah. There's a yuck's a guy. But look, you know, yeah, some people are upset. I don't know. They don't really confront me.

It is like it. I'm impressed with people. I said, I was people who were able to lay their head down at night and being like some people hate me. I don't know why I wear that so much. Like, I feel this thing like, I told you, So they told me the two waitresses got fired from Madison

a couple weeks before I got there because they were planning the stage of walkout when I was there. For you? Well, that's what I'm saying. But here's the thing. It's all my affiliations and everything. I get it.

And also, I mean, I say crazy shit for sure, like in this name of comedy. But like, when they asked the girls who were going to do it before they fired him, they were like, why were you going to do? Like, why him? And she's like, we don't line up with this political ideology. And when they said to me, I was like,

what's my politically idea? Like, I don't have it. It's because you're a Jew. But maybe whatever it is. I'm like, I don't know what it is. I was just like... I'm convinced every time because like there's people who say crazy

your shit than me and then like I'm half Jewish. You've never voted. It's anti-Semitism. It's just whatever it was, it's just a strange like we don't have with a political ideology of which I have none. But it starts with like the more extreme.

It starts with the more extreme and then slowly okay, we got that guy canceled. Who's next on, you know, who's the less slightly less extreme? And then okay, and then who's slightly less extreme? So it's like it's for people who

buy tickets. I mean, for fuck sake, who gets that. I got in trouble. It's adult entertainment. It's for adult. Last time he was at my show, I let him go up at the pussycat, like a month ago or something. I threw him up. I have not had a good set there, yeah. And the crowd, fucking,

not the crowd, he had. It was a lot worse than this. There was two gay guys that were like, there was just two gay guys up in front. Basically threatening me a little bit. What they did, and I didn't see this, and I wish I did. Because I, you know, fans come to the pussycat to see me. that show up. Bonfire fans a lot of times will show up and YKWD fans, whatever.

And he was up doing his stuff. But he was pissing them off, but getting them. Pissing them off and then getting them in the thing. And these two gay guys yelled out something to him. After something killed hard. Yeah, something killed. And they yelled out to him. And he confronted them immediately because that's what he does. You know, I knew, I know what he does. I'm a fan of what he does. so he confronted them whatever and it got a little uncomfortable but not too bad he then he went into a joke whatever but at the end of the show

I just walked in there was fans Bonfire fans over here that were like Bobby whatever so I was going over to Sam the two gay guys get up and hello you know you were so funny we really enjoyed you and blah blah blah and you know that other guy you didn't have to tell us that part and I didn't have to act it out humble they loved me

they said you were amazing They said, a revelation of humor. For a moment, I thought you were, dare I say, glowing? But then they go, but that other guy was so fucking racist or whatever. And I was like, he's just kidding around or whatever. You're fine. You had a good time. You laughed.

It's all good comedy. You laugh at some stuff. I was, I just got, they were, I was going to them and they came up, excuse me, you know, and I was like, I don't want to. So I just kind of dealt with it lightly. and then this fan of mine that came to see me loves him email DMs me you should never fucking talk to these people that oh cowers you have to stick up for

freedom of speech but I was like what are you talking those I guess they were telling them during the show during the show not to laugh they were fucking with the other people in the crowd which I fuck off yeah so I did something pretty funny so I did it I had a show in Toronto that was It was a nice venue and it was really good, you know, whatever. The next day, Kamala Harris was in the same venue doing her whatever she does, like a podcast-type talk.

And I thought, well, fuck, it's the next day. I'm still in town. I got to go. Like, I bought me tickets. I got two of my openers tickets. And we went and we got the free book. But we were being dicks. Like we were, you know, being the, like, it was fun to be that person a little.

bit and we just it was little things like there'd be you know they would call trump they'd be like that he who shall not be named and then it's a big room i'm just like trump and like people are like shut the fuck like i'm surrounded by all these liberal people are like you piece of fucking shit um so it is it is fun like i get why people just wanted what bothers me is that they they they tried to tell the other people who were loving you loving the show trying to get them you're now you're trying to ruin other they really i don't like people try to other ruin other people's i find people hate less my stand like the standup they hate but they hate that it's people like it's i think that drives them really not they don't like your face they don't like your face but that's the

the cori felman thing we always you know we fuck with him for so long on the shows but i've always been like with shows i'm like don't go like because people want to do that they want to go like dog whistle our show or something when they're there i'm like no no again as performers were always like don't fuck with him anyways performance i go you don't have to fuck with it go watch the chaos like this guy thinks he's killing it like don't interrupt that by telling me stinks let him give his 110%

of zero talent and somehow you enjoy it more than a limp biscuit Corey Feldman you know who Corey Feldman is like the 80s star he was like a child star he was in like stand by me and Goonies and all kinds of stuff and then he

I guess got jacked off by Michael Jackson somewhere along the line because he just does like a Michael Jackson impression thinks he's a musician now and he's this guy here. He does real bad at singing and dancing. But it's so good. But it's the most fun thing to watch.

He opened for a limp biscuit year ago. He went, he does a guitar solo, and I mean this. Doesn't know how to play the guitar. But he does it confident. But it's one of the greatest guitar solos I've ever seen. He doesn't know how to play the guitar at all. But he just goes, he just tells you he does know how to play the guitar and just does that. Okay, dude.

But he hates us because we've let it get to, like, it got to him anyway. But, like, we've gone to his shows, and he hasn't even realized. the reason he's having a blast of his shows is because this audience we have stacked in there and told to like, go nuts, dude. Like, cheer him on. We would start chants for songs that weren't on the set list, and he would be like, oh, I guess you guys are real fans.

I want to hear this song. We're like, yeah, dude. We're real. He's like, and meanwhile, there was, like, pictures of us at the door to not let us in. Yeah. It's like make a wish for child stars. Me and Bobby, the guy, the security guy, PNC came up to us behind us. He goes, Andy Jasked you guys to leave. And we're like,

what? And he goes, I'm just kidding. He goes, I'm a fan. He goes, I just tell you guys want to know that he was the head of security there. He goes, Corey Feldman in the meeting today mentioned you guys. He goes, those bonfire guys coming? And he was like, yeah, they're coming. Because he listens. He goes, I listen. I go, yeah, they're coming.

He goes, well, can we not let them end? And they go, no, they're not like threatening you. They're going to come watch the show. And he goes, well, can you at least, he goes, can you tell me where they're going to be sitting? And he said, he told him, wherever the most excited people are. And then we were that. We were a patch of fucking grass growing out of a sea of people sitting down. And he's still every time looking over, pointing at us and doing his thing.

And you're like, he's so oblivious. Like, he doesn't even realize. Singing every song. Here you go. This is worth a peek. Oh, my God. This is great. The outfit.

You've ever seen this, any, either? No, I mean, I've seen it. Make it big. This is Corey Feldman in a broken glass suit. Look at his mouth because it's the best. He's jamming. I wish my. molestation gave me this talent

look at the drummer though I was like can't see your next question Ben he's not going to cut that hair until he found out who raped Corey hair the drummer's taking pictures he looks like a turtle he has like turtle face yeah he's taking video just to show his real musician friends when to

fucking nut this guy is but the drummer's making fun of him behind his back yeah the drummer's off Craigslist and these shows are who's in front of PNC Bank Arena type places and this is the best so one of the shows

you know, I always say as how much he's angry at us. I said, Fred Durst, that is your enemy. That is the person who's being meaner to you than I ever have. He's bringing you on tour. He knows you're terrible. The tour is called Loserville. The joke of it is that they're having Corey Feldman come out. And when this started happening, people smarter than me and Soder and me and Bobby now,

as far as going at him so hard, like other people know how to finesse and be like, dude, that is one killer solo. They know how to play that game. I'm bad at that. I go all in on like to making fun of it and then it's like that person hates you and I go oh I didn't know they were going to hear it and so that's what that must but we fucking uh

what was the point of that I was going to say oh Fred Durst brings him on this tour and then when that guitar solo started going viral they're saying everyone's not no one's going like man he really not how they're no one's calling him out they're all going like maybe the greatest guitar solo ever question mark and those videos would go out constantly so then Fred Durst comes out which you could find this on you

tube too and he goes he walks out on stage while he getting ready to do that solo and he goes you know corey everyone's saying that you're not up here playing the guitar for real so i'm gonna hear and sit here and check to make sure you're not pulling any crap and he just he's doing the worst guitar and fred durst will be like stop and he goes go and he doesn't for like a minute and he just goes nope he's doing it and just walks off stage and core he phelman's like how cool is that you're like he's shitting on you don't even see it that's what's almost meaner in some way you're like you're like like yeah you're fucking really parading him out like hey everyone look at this true talent at least we're going like now this guy sucks but go watch him suck it's great he's world class

he is no comlow was really moving it was no corey feldman she know what she it was funny because she would go in and out of actually good advice but like it had nothing to do with being a democrat she was just like you got a fucking fucking don't give a fuck about it what anybody said like she had some like decent advice i liked it in that period of time where she was like the vice president but nobody gave her any attention, so she was always just kind of like day drunk, and she would just kind of like ramble in between stuff. That was my favorite, Kamala, period. The best moment, well, at one moment there was a silence,

and I played the Joe Rogan, like, intro really loud on my phone that everybody heard in the whole theater. And then I could tell she was, like, looked around, and then at the end, they had, like, pre-written questions that they had been given to, like, and she would, So she read the question. She go, where is so-and-so? They'd say the name, the person would stand up.

So I go, I'm fucking standing up. The next one's like, princess. It was like a trans person. It was like, princess, such and such. And so I stood up. Where is she? I stood up. And the people around me were so fucking mad at me, dude.

It was unbelievable. I can never do that. Like, the people that could do that, I, that I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Because I, which I love, I love when people don't, but I. Oh, the two guys? I would feel... What's the J.T. Parr and...

Oh, yeah. Craig... Chad goes deep. Yeah, Chad Kroger. They would go to the town hall meetings and, like, you know, we're here to, like... And they'd fuck with these people and hold this thing up.

I'm bad at the... I'm bad at the fucking with the unsuspecting. So, yeah, it's that. I'm like... Not that I wouldn't go to something that's, like, ridiculous and, like, fall in the back and, like, watch it, but I'm so bad.

Like, Ari's fucking great. One of the things I fell in love with Ari is the amazing racist. Yes. When he did that, I was like, that's... hilarious to me, but I could never... Can't do it.

I could never put a Ku Klux Klan outfit and go to Compton. But on a more basic level, why I like the impractual joker so much, where I'm impressed with the show is like, I couldn't just go out. I can say whatever to anybody in a comedy club. Something about when you take me out of that environment, I'm like, I'm sorry to fuck with your day.

You know, I mean, anything you're doing, you're like, I'm fucking with someone. Yeah. It's like, even if you tell me afterwards, like, you're on a TV show. Yeah. Like, still, I'm like, I can't get to that point. I'm bad at that.

I can't do it either. There's something about it. I feel like it's going to... I'm all behind your back, if I can. As they go, they go, do you want Corey Feldman come on? I'm like, not really. That's not fun. How great would it be to get him on, though?

Would it be great. Would it be great. He'd do it. No. Really? Well, specifically. No, he hates the show. Hates it.

But I feel like he needs... No, dude, he's a nice... He's got bigger hate now for other shows because since we started doing this, other shows have become, like, there's a gym and them. which is a very good show and shows like that. They have a couple of them,

Drew Lane, but they kind of cover Corey Feldman almost exclusively. It's like what they do. So it's like... Feldman beat. Yeah, so he's more like mad at them because they're like more up his ass and stuff.

But we had like the director of his new documentary. Yeah, that was great. That documentary was fucking wild. If you want to watch something, a good watch, YouTube. About the book, remember the guy? Oh my God.

It's called Cory Feldman versus the world. It is fan. Ted. You're going to watch a delusional guy, not get that he's, was there like a breaking point for him because he was kind of a big star when he was

Corriehame dying the fading the burning out of the star yeah naturally just because like he really wasn't that good of an actor and he was probably partying a bunch at that point and just kind of fade he also got goofy looking and started dressing like Michael Jackson

and doing that old thing which became laughable Cory Hayme became a major drug addict and like it just became like reality stuff just like this thing just fizzled out and I don't know where he's like also like I'm also, should be taken seriously as a musician. But he had, like, a normal life. He had a house in Canada.

He had a wife, hot wife. He was the better of the two Corrie's. Corey was fucked up. But he had like a, if you looked at him then, you'd be like, oh, this guy's got his shit together. He plays music. He has his little fan base. He's wearing a little bit too much affliction

and too many dragons on his shirts for my taste. It looks like he's living life. Yeah, and then somewhere along the line, dude, he went all in on fucking. fucking ego a great watch if you could find it is a we tv did a season of a show called celebrity boot camp um or like family boot camp uh family addition or something and it was Corey Feldman his wife and his brother on the show and the other family one of the other families there was Aaron Carter and his mom remember Aaron Carter yeah you know Aaron Carter is that he was what

is he from it was not it was Nick Carr's Backstreet Boys younger brother or the other one it was Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys. He was the Marky Mark. It was his younger brother. Of the Backstreet Boys. It was his younger brother who got famous as a little little kid. Fuck all knows.

He went through and going through shit. And he's just... Did he die? Yeah, the rest of the soul. Yeah. You're watching a guy in a full-fledged thing. What did he? And P. Did he fucking...

Maybe. Yeah. But he fucking... That was great on that show. They were outside. Corey Feldman was talking... You know, it was Corey Feldman, who's a mess. Talking to this junkie kid.

And he's talking about Corey Haim. uh you know and how he died and blah blah and then corey phelma goes back inside and then Aaron garter comes like a minute behind him he goes dude dude dude I was outside thinking about Corey hame your best friend and a bird flew by Corey phlema just go and Corey phlema goes it was him they're so serious and they mean it so much like that's just such a warped oh yeah it's that fucking young hollywood fame at a young age will fuck you for life.

Yeah. There's very few that get out of it. A lot of them... The cleanest you can get out of is like a Justin Bieber's doing like as good as you can do and his shit's always fucked.

Yeah, he got fucking whacked out. Didn't he get in a fight? He was yelling at an usher? Probably. I think now he has like some kind of disability, doesn't he? What?

Fucking a gazillionaire. Hey, why do you guys think I was told on my way up here to buy gas tonight? What's happening tomorrow? They were supposed to blow up stuff. Yeah, gas is going to go

to $17. a gallon. But they open it's straight. You're good. Yeah. Well, he's going to Oh, they open the fucking street. Did they open the straight? Yeah. They did. Yeah. He told them to. He's got two weeks. Did you know that Canada has their own like Grammys?

Yeah. Yeah. They have their own Oscars still. It's like, I don't know if you've ever seen it, but it is probably the woken thing. Or I don't know. It's the Corey Feldman. I don't know talking shit. I wanted to talk shit about I don't, but they hired a comedian.

and a non-binary yeah there's a non-binary host of the show I'd never heard of this person apparently pretty popular but it's I mean it's one of those things

like holy shit you can't believe it's real propaganda like they actually do propaganda not well it's if the whole thing is the whole thing is speeches about this shit

it's such a level of self-importance you know what I mean like all the Oscars and stuff they start getting it's like this is such a stupid thing I don't give a fuck what Mark Rufelo thinks about anything outside of his TV show. Well, that's why it's like you want...

I can't watch you anymore. There needs to be... You know what I mean? Somebody with money needs to do an award show for something else. Once I know you're the... That's your guy. That's your thing.

I see that guy all the time. I see the guy who's against fracking. You think the Hulk is pro-Palestinian? Yeah, but it's not... Remember we had the thing on for the girl that got shot or whatever? Was it by ice or something? He just like, he comes up in his green...

or his red carpet's through name. Yeah, he's like, I think everyone should take his time and think about it. It's like, you're still at the fucking... Oscars. How much do you give a shit that much, really? They don't realize how much they're demoralizing. That's why they canceled the Minnesota shit, right? Yeah.

Because of what? Well, there was the active riot happening at the same time as well. Oh, you had a riot. Well, there was the whole, like, they shot her and my show was supposed to be like a week and a half later and then they shot the other... They didn't cancel it when they shot her, by the way. It was when they shot the other guy. They were like, all right.

Oh, they shot the lady in the car and then they shot the gun. I was there that weekend. That was the weekend I did. You did that club? No, no, I did. I shut a lady in a car. They actually hired... My gig was shooting the lady.

Did you shoot her? No, I did the laughing tap. Okay. Oh, Cicepis. Andy was on the grassy knoll. There was a second shooter. I would love to be in the CIA. That would be so much easier than...

You look like you're in the CIA. Bobby after on, buddy, yeah. I love you, man. I love you, man. I love you, man. Nice hanging out. It was... Big Jay, everybody.

Big Jay is going to be... Just go get a special on YouTube. It'll be everywhere. Look in the camera, Jay. Give him the plug. I'll be everywhere. Big J.combe. Great as you have for it.

He is. Oh, here we go. We got a beer. Nice. Jay, I love you. Have fun over there. Love you, I see you tomorrow.

Is he doing it on the spot? Yeah, he's doing a spot over the stand because he's famous enough to leave the cellar. Yeah. I used to make him just do this. I did email them, actually. They might have gotten back to me. I guess I missed a story.

That'd be funny. If he has to leave, it's just me and you? It's fine. Is it that show? Like, special time now? Like the, just the page? We're very close to special time. I'm going to start calling it special time.

Yeah, I don't know what you call it. So are you touring the world now, right? You're just on the road? I tried to do some Europe gigs. It was fine. I've never been to the UK. You break even. I want to go to the UK.

Unless you're famous. I want to go to Scotland. Well, Ari's going over there. Yeah, but he's got the, you know, he's got the fucking big. But he says he's going to take over the UK. You might. I hope so. If he does, I'm fucking heading there.

It's good over that, though. Yeah, I've never been. You've done the UK, right? Fuck no You would do great over there Oh Why? I went there once

For fun And we just listened to Harry Potter dubstep And got really drunk We just We were just wandering Around Trafalgar Square Like

Like Spelleramas I don't know I I would go I guess Like if it was financially It made sense

But just to do it Oh you'd kill over there Right now They gotta They don't have weed The Coke is Everything's bad there Well I mean

You'd probably Go there for the comedy, I mean. Yeah. Could you could you not do weed? Yeah. No, I mean,

I would have a great time. Such a 1970s comedy. Did the Coke's bad. They don't have weed. Well, it's not, like, you're not getting paid more than like a weekend

at like a fucking funny ball. I heard you get paid more because You get paid more for spots, but I think spots. If you do, if you do like, if you're doing theater deals and shit, like we were going to do.

Like we were going to do. Like, we were going to take like way bigger percent. Oh, no shit. Plus the tax. Plus then you, now you got a weird, call your accountant. You'd also get canceled, probably.

They would try to cancel or arrest me. They just denied fucking Kanye West from entering the country. It's getting fucking nuts, man. It really is getting nuts. I don't have any problems. Well, of course you don't. But I'm a LibTard, so, you know. You are a Libtar, but I love you.

Are you? Yeah, yeah. He's a fucking lovely Libtard. Yeah. See, Republicans like, they like liberals more than liberals like Republicans. A hundred percent. I have to admit that. Because we don't care.

I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I have friends. My thing is like it depends how much money you make. I love hard guys like you. I got guys in the middle. I got woke friends. I don't care.

As long as you're not a dickhead. If you're not a dickhead, and you can talk to me. But I think the ideas deserve dialogue from both sides because I think there's, I genuinely think both sides have some right things. Like I'm not, I don't think that, you know. And like, but now people,

People are like, Republicans are a bunch of gun-toting anti-abortion. It's, like, not really true. Most Republicans really don't give a shit about abortion. They're like, do it. Just feel bad after. Like, that's really, that's my sense. I never felt bad after. If you're going to do it, just have a little shame.

I felt free. Not the man. The man should not feel bad out. Oh, the girl. Just the woman. But actually, at the end of the day, the man ends up feeling worse than the woman because he ends up doing more mushrooms in his life. And then he has to see the face of the baby that could have been.

Jesus. right um i haven't i haven't done mushrooms since i had an abortion so well i i go you know what i the only thing i don't like is the religious thing where christians and cat i'm a catholic and we get so much shit like there's people like look i i i i don't care if you get an abortion i don't care i i've had one so i'm a bad catholic whatever but i still believe in god i and and like there's certain religions that are even worse with all that stuff but they never get shit. I do think that that's a funny gray area, because I'm very

liberal, and I will, you know, like, if somebody's Muslim, I'll be like, that's so beautiful, if they're Buddhist. If you're like, just a Christian, I'm like, get that fucking out of here. Get that the fuck out of here. I don't get that. But which is, without Christianity, there would be no liberalism

as it is today. No, you'd be. That's what allowed. We'd all be Muslims. We don't know that. Yeah, you do. I hope you. This is what I want. Isn't the Renaissance? Wasn't the Renaissance? Wasn't the Renaissance, to anti-religious? No, that was the Crusades were anti-Muslim. What are you talking about?

The Renaissance was about tying religion to individualism. Yeah, that was Lutheran. That was the Lutheran break from Catholicism. Tapping up. You guys talk. I mean, I was a religious study.

I don't know what the fuck. He just said some crazy smart shit. And you just weren't. Arabs invented math. You wouldn't have numbers. The Jews invented. Yeah, well, fucking name. So did the.

Indigenous. They had the fucking beat on the string, too. I mean, it's not that hard to count. One, two, three. Do you not say indigenous? No, I just... Indian. I think that the Christian, when you say Christian, there's a... You say, I'm a Christian.

But we don't say it to Catholics. It's just Christians. Because Catholics are the coolest motherfuckers ever. It's because you're Irish and you're Italian and you're Polish. Yeah, we're pieces of shit that go to church on Sunday and we try to, we say sorry. You're weirdos. We say sorry and we just, we try to get it all in. If we're going to die, hey. But I do, I do have an aversion, like, if you're just like a blonde.

real estate broker from Houston and you believe in Jesus, I'm just like... I love those people. I get it. I get it. That's you being bigoted towards a specific thing. Yes. Yes. 100%. It's because I'm from Seattle. It's like 100%. Like, I grew up in the middle of... I don't get it. I don't get it.

What is it wrong with... But I'm aware of it. Like, for me, if somebody has a moral compass, right? If someone's looking for a moral compass, I think that's great. Yeah. No, I... A civility. I go to... Moral compass. These are... I'm not against it. You know what I mean?

Like, these are things I agree with. So whatever, I don't give fuck what you want to do. But when you start. This is Patreon, right? No, not yet. I just don't think that your religion, right? Mm-hmm. Should force other people to be in it.

Your politics shouldn't be a religion. Exactly. There we go. That's it right there. And like I can pick and choose. I genuinely think, you know, that, like, I'll just be honest. I think Trump's great for society. I know that people think he's horrible for society.

I understand why they think he's horrible for society I also but I have my own view of it And I don't like for there's so many different realities now where yeah if you're in this reality Where you're you know a bartender and Fucking Brooklyn and you know Like I get why you hate him I get it I'm not like how could you hate

But if you're a fucking person with millions of dollars in Texas Who has a big family and a ranch I get why you would like So it's it's situational in a way it's why are you a Republican I'm kidding

I'm actually a registered Democrat 100% 100% registered registered voted for Trump I voted for Trump I voted for Trump I wrote it for Trump last time

I voted for Obama twice I voted for Biden but the only reason I voted for Biden because when I was going into vote for Trump they didn't have like the curtain it was just an open thing and my black neighbor

my black neighbor was at the front door and he was like Robert and I was like hey and I was like ah shit I got to vote Have you said that before? I got to vote for buying and I kept looking over my shoulder I was like man there you go it doesn't matter it's a blue state

anyway I'm still more liberal than both of you because I'm Canadian and in my lifetime I voted for Trudeau the first time I brought Oh wow the dad or no Justin yeah Justin I mean well because he was going to legalize weed and he's going to do all kinds of bullshit and I was like he wasn't there was

no talk about taxes and all that It was just, I'm going to legalize me. So, you know, voted for that. But now it's just a matter of like, my gripe with like liberals is like, guys, just stop trying to like, stop pretending like some of your policies aren't ruining the country even though they're coming from a good place. Well, also stop.

We want to help. But you're not, the rapid change of any country could be detrimental. Either way. But stop. I don't like this. I don't like that. It's an automatic hate. Actually?

Yeah. That they automatically hate somebody. There's a lot of conservatives. If you vote of it, if you vote of Trump, they automatically hate you. Who? Who? I feel like conservatives don't automatically hate liberals. Well, I don't think that.

I think there's like a cross-section. If you say something, you're a Trump. Well, I think liberals are worse about that. But I do think that we're pretty fucking divided. I don't, I just don't get it. Like when liberals used to be the. fucking the my family's Irish Catholic liberals Kennedy you know what I mean yeah yeah my mom would

fucking blow Kennedy in the grave but it's like I'd watch that they liberalism became have you seen the videos of like the clintons and other Schiff and whoever you know the guys that are Democrats now 10 20 years ago giving these speeches as Democrats going we need to cut down on illegal all the things that now Democrats are like illegal immigration

good. They used to think both parties thought it was bad. Obama. So it was like... They got Biden. They got fucking Hillary. Clinton. All them saying stuff that Trump says now, right? They have them saying all the same shit back then. I'm way left

of those guys, but that's okay. That's fine. The Democrats are Frikes. What is... I'm curious what... But I work... By the way, I work Canada all the time. I work Alberta. So I've been booed off stage for making fun of the convoy. boy it's great I love what is the like I'm just curious you shouldn't be is this Patreon now

no no yeah we're going there in two seconds I just think scared to ask him to well I'm just saying this I respect people's opinions I think this I think that you should be as a comedian we should be able to make whatever the fuck joke we want as long as it's funny yeah you shouldn't be making statements or political if you're if there's something funny but I've laughed at really funny Republican Trump jokes. And I've laughed at fucking really funny woke leftist fucking Democrat. But I do think that liberals, like,

even like, you know, and look, I'm not accusing anybody of anything, but you know, you're like, I'm a libertard, ha, ha. But it's like Republicans don't say like, I'm a Trump or ha-ha, because they're like, no, no, I genuinely think that I'm on the right side of history where I feel like liberals are like, I really hope I am, I, fuck,

I think this is the right thing to do. But there are moments where you're like seeing people in Kaffia's yelling at fucking Jews and you're like, is this the right side? I don't get that at all. I do. You do? All right, let's go to Patreon. All right, hang on a second. Andy, this is definitely, we'll go to Patreon right now. This is a Jewish establishment.

Andy, where are you going to be, buddy? I'll be at the punchline in Philly. Oh, you got a punchout. Good for you. Yeah, I'll be in Punchline in Philly. Beginning of May, then I'll be in St. Petersburg. End of May. Then I'm doing some Ohio Funny Bones. And then I think I'm in Boston. It's not up there yet, but I'll be at the goof. in Summerlin or one of those.

Somerville. Somerville. Somerville. Somerville. Very woke town. I do great there. Dude, when I was growing up, all Irish Catholic fucking drug addicts, I would get the shit kicked out of you all the time. Just because I'll... Just look like the fighter?

I just go, where you from Medford? And then they stopped beating the fuck out of you. It's a change... Boston's such a fuck. Boston changed. Dude, it used to be segregated, Italians, Irish, black. And now it's like Brooklyn there now. Yeah. It's a rich fucking town.

All right, check them out. And where are you going to be, brother? He's got a way better calendar. Oh, dude, it's stank. Looking at his calendar, fucking, make you my fucking merge. Doesn't it look good to be a Republican? Oh, but no, but this is. It really is.

Look at sold out, sold out. All the ones that aren't sold out have about 10 tickets left. You don't have an option on my calendar. Put sold out. Yeah, yeah. Fucking piece of shit. I'm going to be in Colorado. I don't know when you're putting this out, but I'll be,

Florida. And a bunch of other, I mean, New York. I mean, just go to his website. You're everywhere. Look at this. Benbankist.com. When do you see anybody? I don't.

I mean, I hang out with my family when I'm at home. You're gigging every, you gig every night of the week. This is why I told you, I like to come and have, feel the pushback. It's feel the hate because it drives me to go, this is why I'm talking about these things. Helium Portland, that's fun. Andy, these are all 50-seaters, by the way. No, these are. I know all these clubs.

Yeah, he's killing. I don't appreciate the guy. No, he's selling, dude, I love you. You're killing it? No, but, you know. You play McCurdy's? Yeah, I don't know what that is. McCurdy's in, uh,

Sarasota, no, it's a 300 C club. It's one of the best clubs in Florida. We do have some salt. Yeah, the Tampa stuff. Side splitters, you fucking kill. Love it. All right, we'll check him out, Benbankist.com.

I want to have, you know, I like. I'm trying to end the fucking show, and you're going to go on a fucking rant. Go. Go to Patreon. You know, you're around too many people who listen to you. Shut the fuck up, Ben. Keep you around around too many people who don't. Shut up.

I'm around fucking people like me. What do you guys got? This is Joe Russell. Go to YouTube and type in The Cheese Show. Also, Instagram. Jokes Russell on Instagram. And he voted for Trump. Go ahead.

What do you got, Cody? I'm at Mohegan Sun with Bobby next weekend. That's nice. And then I have a show at New York Comedy Club in Stanford in May. May 15th, please come. For the love of God. He said, please come.

And he loves... That's so you know, there's a low-ticket warning. He's non-binary. All right, I'm going to be April 17th and 18th at the Comics Roadhouse with Paco and Cody. Then I'm going to Point Pleasant at Uncle Vinnie's. Love that club.

And then I'm going to Cleveland. Hilarity is one of my favorite clubs. I love that guy. I love him. Nick is the best. Best food. And then Stanford, Connecticut, one night only at the New York Comedy.

club and then I'm doing a little Norleens run in Mobile Alabama at the Crescent Theater go there, check it all out. I'm going to be at the mothership July 4th weekend. Oh, yeah, I know. Fourth of July, I'll be, I'll

let's party. You're going to put it in my house. You're going to put an addition on the Bring your family to my house. My wife loves a family. Yeah, my son's coming, my wife's coming, we're going to do a whole fucking trip in Texas. Can I bring my husband? I'm kidding.

No, you're not. You have a husband? No. Are you a homosexual? No, that's Patreon. All right now. You guys, do me a favor right now. We're going to put this at the beginning and the end.

But I want you to check out the end. Ari Schaffer's End. It's a storytelling show, and it is going to be right now on presale until April 16th. When it premieres, the presale is seven, what is it? It's seven one-hour episodes. It's seven episodes plus the prologue for $24. On April 16th and after, you're going to have to, you'll get the individual episodes for $6.

And then all episodes are going to be $7.30 for the whole season. So you really want to hit that pre-sale right now. Go hit the presale. Buy it now. Buy it now before it's going to, the price is going to go up on it. It's comic Shane Gillis, Hinchcliffe, Chris DeStefano, Sam Talent, Napagazzi, Miss Pat, Mark Norman, Alice Sadeek, Bobby Kelly, your boy, Joe List, Big J. O'Cerson, Jordan Jensen, Colin Turrell, Roy Woods, Jr., Jim Brewer, Dan Soda, Steph Tol.

Toll. Yeah, but that's not her name. Yeah, it is. Oh, it is. Yeah, that's right. Duncan Trussell, Tom Segorah, and Sarah. Tolamash. That's what I was thinking.

Sarah Kana. It's un-Fuckongha. It's unfucking believable. Ari put it out. get the presale now and check out my website all that stuff and patreon.com slash robert kelly if you want to ask questions to these people and if you want to watch the uh after the yk wd extra extra we do that once a week too we'll see you guys next time on you know what dude