Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #639 | Keegan Tindall, Connor Devon Hall, & Connor Daniels

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

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Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school back in the day where it all started before fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the original. What's up, everybody? We're back. YKWD.

You know what, dude. the longest running podcast on the East Coast. I did not say most successful. I would never say that. Maybe if you hit that subscribe button, it would be. Maybe if you went to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, I could hire real producers instead of young comics who want to do an exchange.

Can I work with you at fucking Uncle Vinnie's? And I'll fucking edit your video? Maybe I do that. But until then, I'm just going to keep helping young comics rise above me, like Dan, Joe, and Lewis, and a bunch of other people that used to sit here and be like, can I get on the show? And they did. And then they fucking flew away to success, hopefully like our show tonight. Because I think, look, I got an eye for talent, right? And not all of them are going to pan out. But I think a couple of them in this room is. not all of them are going to pan up but definitely one of them one of them not either one of you guys listen no

be anyone could be anyone who knows Danny and most people say I don't know who it is and that's why I go to Danny but I like Danny saying who do we got Danny we have Keegan Kindle we have Connor Daniels and we have

Devin Hall coming in late what? Okay well this is a this is a thing so we were called here at 820 we're supposed to be here at 820 can I just say something too What? You're famous.

Like, you're, you're like a social media mogul almost. Hey, hey, hey. Out of the three, if anybody was going to be late, you'd be like, dude, I'm sorry, I had to do a video. That's what we were saying. Yeah, how to do a little. So we were saying. Right. Devin is late without.

Without a job. Well, I do have a job. I was working. And as one of the little people, I had to. Oh, you sound that ass pussy? I wish it would be. Then at least I'd be successful at something. As pussy incorporated.

Of course. I can only feel people being angry in the comments. Already they're going to be mean. Why? Why are they going to be mean? Have you read the comments on our videos? Very nice towards me. Dude, I can get some hate.

Can someone not like you for 10 seconds? Well, one guy was like, one guy, I saw one, one comment on one of ours. Is this a guy fucking dead? Is this a dead guy? On the podcast right now? What a fucking mean thing to say. Yeah. I remember me and Colin had fun on ours.

And then the comments. Why is his microphone is so huge. It's great loud. That's just his voice, brother. Chill. Am I up in there? Can you hear yourself through the headphones? Yeah, well, I didn't know if that was normal.

No, it's not. I didn't know of yelling in the microphone. Literally killing us. Danny, what are we got? Danny. They didn't test the microphones. Did you test the microphones? Well, we would have liked to, but fucking someone was late.

Okay. You know what? This is what he's into. He's getting us to go off topic because that's what he does. Me? He gets us off topic. Yeah, don't do a musical show right now. You guys started the podcast at the crack a dawn.

Look, I actually had three alarms. I slept through all of them. What, you guys? Sleep in afternoon in my bed. Can I tie it? Sleep an afternoon in my twin-sized mattress. Can I tell you? When you're running late from a podcast and you walk by the fat-by pussycat

and I see you schmoozing with fans, I went, yes. And I kept going. But it's my podcast. I know, but as long as I was here before you, I was a mucking up the works. Are we talking about 820 at night? What's the early? What's the latest you have to leave? I was planning to be on time.

I showed up the one train simply did not come. I was here at six for a seven o'clock show. Right. So you leave early to act? Oh, I have to be in a way. Can I say something to? I left a family. Don't fucking ever touch me here.

I will left a family. That's why I switched sides. You have a family. You have a reason to leave. You have to get away from your family. I have a family I enjoy, not like your family with you. I love my family. And I left them.

Can I say? Can I say it? I'm sorry. Why were you late? It was just, I'm telling you. Well, I want to hear it. Go back. I want to see a size this.

You know you have the show. When did you get ready for the show? It's not going to be. There was not much getting ready. Like, I mean, I took a shower like this afternoon. Okay, okay. Then what? I was wearing, I was wearing shorts.

Okay. I was working. Oh my God, slow down. He had to put on fucking jeans. There was no getting ready, really. It was like, I don't know, like 730-30-ish. drawing some jeans I hit the fucking sidewalk

I go I wait at the M train The one M train Which would have gotten me here early Did not come The next N train That was gonna get me here right on The M train Oh I thought you said the N train

I was like relax You know there's an Oreo On the ground I'm investigating I'm seeing how much dirt is on this thing I gotta check it out Hey a pigeon flew by He dropped a French fry

I was like No no go to waste You know I'm not God I can't say no to a French fry That was from God Sorry that you run this like it's boot camp, but not a podcast. It's six a. I thought this was supposed to be fun.

I thought this was comedy. I didn't realize this is comedy. I thought we were doing comedy. The military. I'm up with the ass crack of dog here. If I get a French frat, you got to get ketchup. Then you got to get ketchup. But then I realized, I have ketchup on me at all time.

Exactly. I excrete ketchup, actually. Ketchup comes from my kids. I cut my wrist, and ketchup came out. And then I squeezed my tit in a little mayonnaise. I made a Russian dressing. I saw a farmer, and he went, You're up early.

I mean, guys, come on. Come on. The M train didn't come. I was walking by roosters. They don't even make it noise here. Oh, the way. I don't even get it. So that's what happened.

So you missed the M train? I didn't miss it. The one just, you know how the little, like, the screen ticks down like M train. It will be here in six, five, four. That one counted it to zero and a train simply did not appear. Okay. It goes back up to eight. Right.

Six, seven, five. That one shows up. But then that one's stopping halfway on the tracks, and then it's sitting for a while at fucking Dittmas or whatever. It just was like a whole thing. And I was only like two minutes. I lived in the same apartment as these two, which is another reason.

Which is another reason if I was going to throw myself. It's another reason that it's a problem. So Connor came from deep New Jersey. From the Confederacy. Where in New Jersey? Columbus, New Jersey. I've never heard of it. It's like 20 minutes south of Trenton.

So it's like an hour and 20 drive. And you got, you drove here at rush hour. I drove here. Two Manhattan, and you parked you had to find a spot. Sure did. And you did it. And you came from where? Bushwick.

Bush. And we came from the exact location, me and him. But you left him because you don't like him. Well, those two things are true independently. I don't know if that's what happened today. I just had to, I was like, I want to get there early. I don't know what Devin's up to. Right.

That's weird. Can I just, as with CSI in this? And we found out about the whole French fry thing? Yes. Right. Of course. after we don't over to the details. After you look a little.

After we get context, for the love of God, it was good shit to eat. Fuck. I would have been here if I left on time. That's what you're not thinking. If I left a little earlier. I mean, I got here two minutes. If I left a little earlier,

when I have salty, I got to have sweet. So, I had to stop and get a candy bomb. I had to wait for, I didn't have any money, so I had to wait for another pigeon and not the candy ball. And then you're there, you got Milky Way, and you got stuff. Snickers. And I'm looking for what you call it, and that's a hard one to get.

You know, and I need some ice cream to put in the middle of them puppies. I'm making a sandwich. And then I realize, when I come, it comes out chocolate. I suck my own dick in the pop. And then I get tired, so you take a nap. That's a whole thing. This is how we get you not to be late. All right. This is how, this is how. Next time, do you think. I listen. I listen. I want to say something. Every morning, I walk my son to school. I wake up early. I don't have to. I walk. We eat breakfast. I sit down and I'm a mellow coffee. And then we get ready. we walk to the bus and we walk over

and he's always got a minute or two, even five minutes, snow, rain, whatever, we do it. And every morning there's a kid that the bus stops in front of his house. In front. And the bus has to stop. Everybody's on and wait.

And his mother will come out. He's coming. He's coming. And this little roly-poly son of a bitch will run out a minute or too late every fucking day. Big kid? every yeah I mean yeah you know

I didn't right right right I'm not the kid you looked at me but I'm not the kid is no you're similar you get me at school oh yeah this is out the front door are you get in my yard so fucking far all the way in the fucking street

you're just called the fire department again I'm stuck in the tub can we get mom I'm stuck in the tub can we get a slide that comes from my bedroom to the bus please wait not a slide That's too much.

That's too much. Like an escalator. Get a transformer to get a lift and get me out of my brain. Mom, can you get a finicular to come up upstairs? Good. But that's taught. You know what I'm saying? My kid knows.

And it's hard, but that's taught. Like, someone didn't teach him on time. You weren't taught on. No, it's just as simple as he doesn't care. Why don't you care? That's not true. I'm excited to be here. Listen, just because you sing it doesn't make it true.

That's not true. I am here. What would you like at a minute? Yeah, I don't care. I'm sorry. Two minutes, I'm sorry. I am sorry. I don't know how much you're late, but, you know, I was late.

Okay, I was literally here before I had a show. And then after one of a very, a very big, uh, it was on Cartoon Network and you had to finish it. Both a regular show, Adventure Time. Devin had a show. Come on, man. The boys, the episodes are, hours long now. It takes a fun.

Well, you're not watching the same show The Boys, though. Yours is on Porn Hub. Like, what's all this superhero shit? B-O-I-S, the boys. Every episode's in a steam room. So, look, you're late. Yes. And he was here on time.

You both came from the same place. Yes, so that we did not leave. Why didn't you leave together? I don't know. I walked into the living room and he was gone. Can I say something? Yeah. I had an inkling this would happen and it tickled me.

I know it's going to happen. And you know what? You love to be tickled. Oh, I love to be tickled. This is by Devin. Come here, I'm going to get you. I'm watching the boys. Come here.

You left because you wanted to be on time. Yeah. And on time to you is early. Well, yeah. He said 820. I was here at 815. Right. That's on time.

All right. Right. I mean, I have no, I'm not defending myself. I apologize. Don't you hate it. when people just give up. I was about to say, dude, you know what dad puts his son so much

that he's like, come on. Yeah. I do suck at baseball. I do suck, Dad. Don't make me play this year. It'll make me play this year. Don't make me play. They always make me the fucking ball.

I'm the ball again. Great. Yeah, but you're in the back. You're in left field digging the ground with a spoon, son. Why do you have a spoon? I have, for sure. I have, like, core memories.

Someone said something about being in baseball team and being the one who's picking the grass in the outfield. For sure, that. Yeah. Do you remember. When me and you used to do a lot of shows together, we would, I would tell you it was 30 minutes before it actually was. Yes.

And then we'd be on time. You have to do that mom thing. Yes. You have to say dinner's at six, but it's really at seven. Now, I have, this is a bad. But he still shows up at seven. Yeah. So he's actually on time.

He's on time. This is not evidence. Today is not evidence of it, but I have been really making strides to not be late as much. You know what I hate more than somebody who's late? Somebody who fucking gives themselves pats on the back. There's no pat. I'm just saying.

I've been making strides. Far better. I've been doing much better, except for tonight. But before tonight. You're not right now. I used to be 17 minutes late all the time. I was only two minutes late tonight. It's 14.

I mean, that's like kind of true. Oh, God. So let me ask you a question. Yeah. What's up there, BK? Why do you think? Why couldn't you, you just didn't have time? But you probably had a bunch of things to do today.

What? No, I didn't have a bunch of things to do today. I just, the way my, like, Take us through your day. Take us through your day. All right, wake up. Two hours ago. What's going on?

So you sleep through six of your alarms. They start at 6 p.m. Are you an alarm sleeper? I'll snooze through an alarm. I usually say my alarm is really obnoxious. It usually wakes me up. What does it say? It's just like, eh, eh, eh.

It's like that really aggressive alarm. Right. Carrots, broccoli. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, I mean, listen, I was two minutes. It's like, I mean. Right, thank you.

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina. Cabinette's vagina. Low fat milk. Pilates, Pilates. Pilates. One percent. Ooh. It's not whole.

Hey, this horrible dream. Hey, this jelly. This horrible dream. What was it? less fat in my milk. Oh, no. It was one percent. No.

I'm not going to be as big and strong. They were just your thoughts. Those are just your thoughts. It's not real. So seriously, I want to go through your day. What happened today? What did you do? When did you wake up?

What time? I don't know. I mean, a funny number. You don't know when you were. Like 11. Was it? Between, no. 11 to 30?

How funny was it? Between 11 and 1230. Somewhere on that. Between 11 and 1230. Okay. 11 and 1230. That is. Really.

All right. It's not bad. Okay. And then what did you do? I had an interview. With? Job and company. Oh, job?

You shouldn't say it. No, you shouldn't say it on this podcast now because you will not get it. But I have an interview. One of these fucking pieces of shit fans will fucking literally send them about this. He's always late. He shows up two minutes late. He passed himself in the back for two minutes late. I'm doing better.

One of my strength is I'm usually not late. How much do you want to bet that it has to do with food, the job? Well, I don't know. I don't know if you really bring... Exactly. You don't want to mix... Well, Bobby, when you love what you do, you never work a day. I'm a kicky-dough tester.

I see if it has salmonella before they send it out. You applied for a job at the Russian spa? So you had a job interview. Yes. How'd that go? I think okay. It was like on the phone and like I always do this thing at the end of interviews were they...

You know how you're supposed to ask them a question? scream, I'm hungry! It's just what I do. I don't know. I just how I operate, how I work. Do you guys have snacks? I don't care about growth. I don't care about salary.

I'm like, so talk me through the break room. Are we thinking... What do we got? Gummies? Do we do sugar-free gumming? What do we got? And when it's pizza day, are we getting like pizzas? Are you like, is it this weird fucking artsy square?

Is there a food truck that shows up at noon? Because I have no good before, dude. I have no good. And is that truck at 18-wheeler. So, David, do you want to know anything about our market outlook? No. No. I want to know what your outlook is on dessert.

I want to know if you have pepperoni hot pockets. How often do we do we do company lunch? All right, so you go to the job interview if it goes okay. Go to the job interview if it goes okay. Okay. What happens at the end? Tell us what happens. Well, it's not like the, I always ask, like, is there anything?

Besides your stomach growling. I'm really trying to let him finish. I'm trying not to have anything. Listen to me. Do not let him finish anything. what are you talking about yeah this is not an interview podcast all right go ahead

I always ask is there anything in the cabinets I'm trying so it's like every third word so I look at and there's a pastry I want to do that

it's so bad the whole kind of get focused there's another butter on the shelf behind the button I said are you gonna eat the rest of that I feel something by my under my ass. What is that? It's a fruit roll-up.

But this is a video call, so I got to eat it sneaky. I keep coughing. I'm coughing. I'm covering my mouth. Secretly, I'm getting a mouth full of raspberry. Then I got to do the tongue tattoo. I got to look at it after. They got a tongue tattoo.

Sir, are your lips blue? No. Your's a blue. I have cancer. I have cancer. I have cancer. I have cancer. That's not... You know what? I will be good at this. this job I would have to die. Hey, I don't need any way.

Well, fair, but. Eh, just shut. Yeah, I don't know. Switching to porn. He doesn't show off. The guy just hears crunching. He closed it, but it doesn't end the call. So,

the call's too good. So you do the interview, and what happens at the end? I always ask, I always ask the question. When they go, are you, you have any questions? Are you hungry, too? I'm famished. This knocks the shit out of me. Every single time.

Every single time. It's just, just, People ask about, like, salary, you know, market outlook, you know, actual growth options. I'm doing. Because I'm scared to salary, salad. You know, I'm freaking out right away. I always ask, do you like Greek salads?

I like it with extra feta. What do you say? Can I say, can I say something? We did plan to make fun of you for being late. I didn't know it would domino effect into this. Right, dominoes. Don't say that. Jumps across the table.

Dominoes! All right, so what do you say at the end of the meeting? I always ask, is there anything you haven't heard? I always ask, do you like cereal milk as much as I do? I think I like it more than the cereal. That's just me. Because Cocoa Puff's milk is a different chocolate milk.

You can't buy that. You can't buy it. I got a new idea for the company. Cocoa Pops' Chalka Milk. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And who's going to eat on it? This guy in the factory.

All right. All right. So what do you say at the end of the... Okay, pop up chocolate milk is not a bad idea. It's a great... You fat fuck, it is? It's not a bad idea. You all just put heavy cream in your cereal.

I can hook us up with some capital. We can get that done. Okay. So you say what? So I say, is there anything you have... Is there anything you don't eat? Because I eat everything. We're bad.

We're bad. We're a bit. Devin' have it. We know that part. We know that part. But I'm just trying to ask what question did you ask? Now, go. Go, go, go, go.

Have I... Do you fold your pizza? Or do you just eat it straight? I won't eat anything straight. How does the dress code feel about the bottom button of your shirt? Are we always doing that? Oh, fuck me. And dress can code.

That's like ranching. What's your dressing? What's your dressing? Are you allowed to wear pajama bottoms to work? Can you be a bottom in pajamas at work? All right, go ahead.

What do you say at the end of this? Is there anything you haven't heard for me yet that you'd like to? Like, is there anything a successful candidate would say, like, I'm trying to be like, have I not covered any aspect of mine? Did you call yourself a candidate? A candidate for a Zempic, but a candidate.

Oh, I can't make fun of myself for me that. That's not as fun. A candidate for a double-bys pass. I can't get it out. Cotton candidate. Hey, you. All right, go ahead. That's the question.

The question is, like, is there anything you haven't heard yet that you'd like to? Yeah. And she was like... Quiet breathing. Less flim. That feels less flim. So is it a tired dog next to you? What's going on?

Give it some water. Jesus Christ. been running that thing up there must be a dog in there please get it to water probably i'm allergic to cereal milk but i can't stop it gives me phlegm are you interviewing from bed sir was this on the zoom it's all over the phone it wasn't zoom you did a fucking phone interview so that was just from your house yes okay so you did a phone interview you ask him yeah there's there anything you haven't heard yet and she's she she was like now I can't, she's like, I can't give feedback like that.

You said, feedbag or feedback? We don't have... So she kind of blew me off, you know. You feed me, I feed back, okay? Let's do it. Let's an equal exchange. I feel like it went okay, but I don't know. Sir, I don't think you're going to get it because we don't have feedback lunches here.

So go ahead. So you didn't get the job. Well, I don't know. Then what you do? You're an asshole, man. I am. I'm right. I apologize for it.

It's terrible. You are just going too. This guy's going too far. I'm going too far. I'm going to talk to our friend like this? You know what? I'm going to stop it right now. So then what'd you do?

Go ahead. What did I do that? We know what you did. You ripped the cabinet doors off. I probably did have lunch. No, did you have lunch? Would you have for lunch? I had leftovers.

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for safety, effectiveness or quality, prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety. information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monocidal and finastas stride. Leftovers. It was McDonald's, but it was left-off. Okay. You had left-off. Wait a minute. Who fucking saves McDonald's? You don't throw nugs in the fridge? No. It's your, it's Mr. boyfriend, right? Mr. boyfriend's a very organized boy. Well, yeah, boy, well, boyfriend's an organized boy and also boyfriend loves ordering McDonald's at 4 in the morning and not eating at. You don't? Ooh. No, I do. He loves it. He loves it. He.

He loves that shit. He's the one who loves it. He loves it. And you fight it. You're like, no. No, it's too late. Why? No, don't.

He literally was. Oh, and you're already, you put it in extra. Yeah, just hit that button on my phone if you're gonna. It was like late at night and I call them. He was out smoking a cigarette. I go, babe, I'm like, I'm fighting the ears to DoorDash. And he goes, oh, perfect.

I'm starving. Oh, wow. Like there was no. You met the perfect guy. I did. Oh, my. All right. All right.

All right. Those two are fucking. I love him. Yeah, they're great. Yeah. They're pretty punk, right. Also, amazing cook. He is.

His boyfriend is fun. Really? Was he Italian? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good guy. Little guy. Little guy.

Little guy. Yeah. So he cooks, he goes, and he's the accent too, which is nice. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he cooks me like spaghetti all-a-a-a-moid or whatever. He does. Fucking. Fucking.

Fucking. Al-a-homo or whatever. Tell him about Tim Dillon on the Patrice benefit. Oh, my God. So this is the thing. My boyfriend is attracted. my body type. So every time he says...

And what is that? The bag of sand? I don't know. Like, fucking... I threw that to these two, but they just froze. So every time... It's like...

It's a running... We don't want to like... It's a running thing in our relationship. It's not running or ever it's running in your relationship. Nothing runs in your relationship except your nose and your asshole. It's a rolling thing. You're so happy you get to bully fat people. Does that feel good?

It feels really good. You made it out of the neighborhood. Now you tell me to pull my pants up, you piece of shit. You can't. They're sweatpants. Go ahead. Okay. So there's this thing where every time he says someone he's attracted to, it hurts my feelings.

Right. We're at the Patrice Benefit. He's attracted to dead Patrice O'Neill. Might as well be. Tim Dillon gets on stage. He leads into me and he goes, if you ever want a threesome. Really? That guy.

Yeah, I don't think that's illegal. You'd have to be on the first floor or in cement. You're saying structurally. That's like getting a waterbed in the apartment. You have to ask the landlord, is this, is this okay? Are we allowed? Is this permitted? If you're in like a hotel, you can't go in the elevator the same time.

Yeah. One with a time. One by one. Maybe not. So you, he's into Tim Dillon. Yes. Really? Which sucks.

Well, I don't think Tim Dillon is. Tim Dill is in. You're all right? I think Tim Dillon's into your type of that guy. Yes. No, Tim Dillon would like having sex with my boyfriend. Right. And if he'd like to take me on the road, he's more than welcome to.

Just have sex. Are you pimping out your boyfriend? Yeah. You can fuck Giuseppe if you give me five days. It's Elio. Oh, Elliot, like the pizza? Yes. My boyfriend's a handsome guy.

He is a good. He's a handsome guy. Stop fopping, you asshole. I don't know bad. I want to give a little bit of positive energy to Devin here. Devin needs some positive. He is. He's a good-looking Italian guy.

Yeah. And you guys are still together. That's great. So now, So he says to you, you want lunch? Or you ate his, you ate his leftovers. Yeah. Right.

So you ate his leftover nuggets. Oh, yeah, it's a day. Just nuggets. What? You stopped it. Leftover nuggets. Nuggets? And then there was like a couple,

there was like a couple. There was a couple of. There was a couple of. Chicken wings just two? Two? Because I think they were chicken wings. I think it was like four. It was something. It was like, I.

There's something. Chicken. There was definitely a bonus. It was a weird chicken wing. I had like plastic. and then the ice cream in the middle of it and then there was like a straw. And the chicken bones were made of wood.

What was it? I ate the fridge. I ate the fridge. Ah, you guys are going to be bad. I hate nuggets. I ate everything that was in there for more than a day. I cleaned it out. Even the bottle of ketchup.

Because no one's eating this, clearly. It's been in here for 48 hours. I dipped ice and chocolate. All right, so you ate two wings? I think it was four. Four wings, a couple nuggets, and you're done. I was done. You ate that, and you're done.

And I was done. And then what do you do? You blood sugar drops, you go to the fucking pet. What happens? Well, we do the epipan and all the revival stuff in the middle of the day. What's an epipet? They yell clear. Up, up, here.

You shoot him like a seal. Bumming from the mouth, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, he's saying the... Okay, I'll get you. So you went back to bed? No, I think I went... I think at that point is when I started working, I believe. You started working?

Yes. Working what? Your job. I have like a part-time job where you, like, futs around with AI. Okay. Like, an AI futs are around. Oh, that's cool. It makes, like, recipes on chat chibi-tis.

Like, what would happen if you put a turkey sandwich inside of the making sandwich? What would happen? It'd be good. Yeah. If you got turkey and ice cream with cocoa puff milk, what would happen? It'd be good. And AI just keeps going, that'd be awesome. And that was like, fuck, yeah.

What if you're frozen? It'd be good. Yeah. Okay, so you do AI. Teaching AI, right? You're teaching AI. Yeah, it depends on, like, the exact, like, there's different tasks. Yeah.

But, like, one of the, you know. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened? What happened? A little bit of a spit stage. From you? Sorry, yeah. Sorry, yeah. Okay.

Sorry, it's not a real job. It's tasks. There's little tasks. Okay, boys and girls, this is your first task today. His job is tasks. Task. Get you stuff from your cubby. I fiddle and I do tasks.

You're a child molester. You're a futzer. You're a futzer and a taskmaster. I'm a futzer and a, yep. The hands is paying his rent. So you, so you fuck around with AI a little bit, teach people some things.

Not people. I teach the AI. You teach the AI. You taught you have a lot. AI is stupid. AI is stupid. Let me stop you. It was stupid.

Until I got a whole day. And now it's brownies. Chat Chabit only talks about recipes now. Chat TBT used to go, huh? Also, have you heard about putting ice cream on pizza? I asked about what kind of card against. You're asking a question about taxes. It's like the thing about cinnamon dose crunch that people don't talk about.

Like, who's teaching it at this? You know what it means when you eat and your feet feel wet? All right, so you fudced around, you diddled a little bit. I did that basically up until I threw on jeans and came here. So you worked all day teaching teaching AI how to be intelligent. I always say AI is capable of learning. A lot of people don't think that, but I am.

Well, some people are on the fence of AI. They either like it and they think it's like... I love a job to work. Oh, it's evil and it like sucks up all the energy out of all. I love the job that you don't need pants to do. Neither do you. I don't have... I don't need pants for my job.

Conners in his room fucking... Tats like tasks on Excel. Conner's up at 6 a.m. every day. Way before us. That is true. And does that? There was a brief on the lap where me and Connor would wake up at the same time. So you did all that and you wound up taking off.

Yeah. Now, why didn't you go, hey, bro, I'm leaving it this time. I went to go see my girlfriend before I came here. Oh, you got to get some stuff. Yeah, I went to say hi. You went to get your snacks. She's working. Right.

I did eat hummus. It was really good. Is that what you call it? It's tasty. Don't say that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, Bobby, get them. Yeah, Bobby. Where are you going, Bobby? You're going off road to your brother. You don't want to call your girlfriend's vagina hummus around him. Hummus is good healthy. You get me to eat it. What's it?

Like, bees dough. Go away. Bees, what's it? Hombishes are too healthy. What's a little bit of hot sauce? Oreo. Let me type it into AI, see what you says. I would try to do AI and it's like, keep talking about Oreo hummus.

You're getting GPD. So you just, you, you, you, you miscalcated a little bit. Yeah, just, I was off by 10. 10 minutes? Well, I was two minutes late, but had I been 10 minutes earlier? Was he just two minutes, though? That's not a lot. Was it two minutes?

I don't know. The minute he was, the minute he was over 20. He was like three minutes late, but he also texted us that he was considering getting snacks and being 15. Well, it was a joke. I go, what if I just shut up at 8.45 with snacks? But we assume that when we book you that you're stopping for snacks somewhere. Yeah, but I don't, you don't get any of them.

They didn't make it. We're not going to make a block from the deli. What makes us funny is that he was so reasonably on time. And, like, texting about it. He was so educated us. Oh, I'm sorry. And reasonably on time. But, you know, we got in there.

We're like an alcoholic, which is we have our first fucking drink. No, the second I hear. As soon as. Well, the thing is, fellas. The Crack the Dawn thing. You get up at the Cracket Dawn. Do you guys still live with the other? Didn't you have another guy living there, too?

He left. Why he leave? Because of him. I mean, we could call. Did he leave because of Devin? I don't know. I think. Well, my boyfriend moved in.

Was he sick of the smells? Yeah. Some of them good. Genuinely, it was just really dirty in the house. Really? Because of Dev. Come on. Pointing finger now.

I'm pointing fingers. If I was going to, though. If I had to. You still haven't cleaned your shit. Didn't they clean your stuff? I've been so clean. Right. You go patting yourself on the back again.

Has he been clean? Significantly cleaner. I mean, significantly. Here's what I'll say. For the past month or two, the new, it's usually a new thing. This month has been like a sprawled out, belly out on Skyrim with like a bunch of snacks in the living room. Right. Well, the Xbox doesn't work in my room, which is top.

Why doesn't it work in your room? I don't know. The internet. The only mess that's been is it's just been those snacks kind of linger. Like, what type of snacks? Do snacks What are your snacks? You got a

Corchip in your fingers Cochip in your fingers. Did you have to let it linger? You got McDonald's at 4 a.m. Did you have to let it lay there? Our house is mainly me and Devin having tips. Really? You fight a lot? We fight a lot. Not a lot.

I wouldn't say a lot. I love the ones like a lot. Not a lot. You think we fight a lot? He's very positive. I don't think we've ever. seen eye to eye on a house issue one time. That's possible. What's a house issue? Well, because here's the thing.

Connor's the best roommate because he doesn't make any mess. He's just like, you can't even tell Connor lives there. Right. He doesn't make any, if he does something. Did he move? He cleans it. He moved out, right? No, another guy did.

Connor. You moved in. I've been in. It's been us. Four. We had another guy. You have your own room. Yeah.

So you worked all day, drove. I happen to be in my mom's house I happen to be visiting his mom right He's just visiting his mom right He's lived with us for the past four years You went way the fuck down to somewhere It came all the way into be on time You live in the house

You have your own room And you're not messy Yeah I don't think I'm messy I mean I could be I don't think Connor's like For the most part I'm pretty calm I'm pretty clean You know any if there's any mess

It's in his room He doesn't like contribute to the Every once in a while There's like beer everywhere After Connor had a good night But that lasts very briefly I was going to know to mess you,

but it's not like an issue. I think it'll be like, it'll mainly be like, I'm gonna murder you over. Like, Devin will like, Devin will like shit in his hand and smear it on the walls. And I'm like, hey, I hate that.

And he goes, I, that's stupid that you hate that. Because it's art. Right, because it's art. It's called art. Right. I'm being creative. And I talked to AI and it said,

this would be a good idea to make the most money in the short amount of time. Yeah, I would gas me up about shit on the wall. You put shit on the wall? Yeah. What? What?

What? What? Bobby, come on, man. He just woke up. Give a second, dude. He's groggy. I thought the war was your toilet again. You guys don't respect Andy Warhol.

But we're just like bickering like, like, uh, like, uh, newlyway. Like, we're like, we've been married for 50 fucking years. How long have you known each other? How long have we known each other? Like five, six, six years? Sixth years. Sixth years? Have you ever, like, because I used to live with Billy Burr in a very small space.

Right. And we used to physically fight. No, we never physically fought. We used to physically get into it. Oh, you did? We had a TIF. I feel bad about the TIF. I was an asshole.

When I fought a Billy, we never called it a Tiff. A Tiff. Be a man. You two are way more clearly emotionally healthy. Right, you guys were rubbing the top of your heads together. We're going to be so bald. We're Tiffing. Oh, fuck.

I got this fucking hair. Get this off my fucking head. I had hair back then. I know. That's how it happened. So let me ask you question. So you guys almost got to a physical fight? No.

Did you? Off the top. So there's been two recent times. All right. So here's what's the... His fight just turned into a musical like a Michael Jackson video. My girlfriend was in the room and she goes,

you're really mad. And I was like, yeah. What were you mad about? So there's been years of like buildup of me. and Devin just never seeing eye to eye on cleaning. It's never one time have we both been like, yeah, we should do that? Right.

It's, uh, so we were like debating, do we all move apart? What do we do? And there were two times recently. One time, do you want to explain the toilet? Okay, yeah. This is a tangential story. A what? This is a tangential story.

Okay. I don't know, like two months ago, maybe. Right. Two-ish months ago. I'm in the basement. There's two levels to our apartment. So I'm in the basement. I come upstairs.

Keegan had texts about it in the group chat I don't think I had seen it I don't think I saw those texts until after I said hey the toilet's clogged The toilet was clogged He's shitting in the bathroom with the plunger I'm like let's happen I was taking a shit downstairs upstairs Toilets clogged magically I asmosis did

I don't know what happened That was sarcastic I think it was sarcastic Let me get ahead of this Let me get ahead of this shit before So upstairs is clogged downstairs you're taking a shit I'm clogging that toilet Right

Is that just assumed when you shit that you can clog the toilet? No, I was goofing. Me too. You know, I was goofing at all. Yeah, me too. Me too. So I go upstairs. And the toilet's like over, like water.

No, not shit, piss. But water is coming out over and dripping onto the floor. Not yet, though. It wasn't dripping. It was just at the top. It was going to drop. No, I'm told you it was rising. On the upstairs toilet.

On the upstairs toilet. And you had the plunger downstairs. Yeah, so I run down, grab the plunger, come upstairs and plunge it. But it was at the top. Yeah, so like piss goes everywhere. Oh, no. Yeah, you got to wait for it to go down a little. It didn't go down.

It was going up. Probably. So is it? So you said it stopped, and it was going to probably go down if you wait a little bit. Well, there's... Well, we didn't have any time to start to interrupt you, but we didn't have any time to have conversation before I just see this and act it. Right.

And so after... The reason I'm letting him tell this is because I win at the end of this. I'm right. The controversy, would you like to pick it up from here? Can I say something, though? You come up... Right now? If I'm going to say, who's better?

at plunging toilets who does it more? Experience, yeah. Experience goes to him. He's younger, but we eat his experience. Okay, so you're like, we got to do it now. There was no conversation. I just left into action. I'm a veteran at this year.

I've been fucking doing this. Dude, how many toilets I've clogged up? You got to do it now and never. And I'm not. Get up again. Get up. Get up. Get up, kid. Get up. Get up, kid. Get up, kid. Get up, kid.

Get out of bed. I don't know if it's because I flush down Water level was rising. Yeah, because when you put something in something that it disperses the water, so it comes up out. And that's his favorite toilet to eat over. You want to explain to this? Science right now. So, we got to get this thing on fucking clogged, man. I'm plunging the toilet.

You walk up. I plunge the toilet. I walk up. It's like piss everywhere. Like a layer of piss. God. I am nice. I go, hey, you gave it a shot.

Let's, let's, I'm actively being a kind man. Is that true? Yeah, but I am a little... Oh, yes and no. Is that true? Yes. Okay, great. Go on. Okay.

I have a great attitude about there being pee everywhere, which you can acclimate. I am a little bit of a hot head. I get a little bit pissed off and angry and a little rational. About pee on the floor. So we... I had a hothead joke that I held back from. Oh, no, but... But I can just take both barrels on 20 minutes.

Hey, I respect you. I respect it. You're getting on it. I took everything I had. That was good. That was good. See, I walked right into that. Let me get it.

Okay. Okay. So now there's pee everywhere. Right. And I think you wanted to, what did, we were like? I just, I was not in the mood. I was, like, bummed out about it. Like, I didn't want to deal with it.

So I just put a towel down for it to just soak up into it. You soaked it up with it, not paper towels, a towel. I threw away the towel. I was like, this towel is garbage now, piss towel. You didn't have your boyfriend squeeze it over a fucking nice penny pasta? What you want to do? What you want to do? Pee-at-you-a-pee?

You don't have a pee-pig-pig-you? When you do this, you don't need a cheese. The shirt is already in the pasta. I already eat the cheese. But she's come out. See, the towel wasn't like laid, even this. It wasn't laid out. It was scrunched up and thrown.

Oh, sure. Okay. So you didn't. you didn't do it correctly. No. So I go, what are you doing? We have to clean this up because he starts going back to his room

and then you said... I was like, can't just soak into it for a while? A while? Yeah. Into the towel, you know what? I forgot about this detail. Wait a minute. Can I just stop?

Look, when I live with Billy, I was the messy one. Right. All right? And he was the clean one. Right. So I was you. He was him.

But in my wildest dreams, would I ever plunge a toilet, even if it wasn't my fault, try to fix something and piss one everywhere. Would I throw a towel down into a ball and go, hey, dude, can we get back to this, let it soak up naturally? I would never do that.

I mean, listen, you know, people are good at different things, you know. But the reason I'm bringing this up, the reason this is rehash is because the way he said it to me was like the idea that I wanted to clean it now was possibly the dumbest idea anybody's head. Why would that be dumb? He goes, it's going to soak into the floor, really? Well, you missed that part.

His hypothesis was we need to clean it now because it will soak into the floor. Do you agree with that statement? Whether or not it's correct to clean it up currently. Hold on. I said soaking in the floor and then into the sides of the bat, like under the sink and shit. Yeah.

The more a spill is allowed to be there, the more water is the most powerful thing in the world. Right. You know the Grand Canyon? That was probably one little stream that opened up and just became bigger. One T-Rex pissed and the other one was like, we should clean that.

He's like, I'm just saying. What's the shit in between tiles that it seeps? Yeah, it goes on. You said you looked, I concede the argument. You made him look it up? But the reason, the reason I bring it up is because the way we concede like this never happens in the moment. I go, it's going to seep in and he goes, no. No, it doesn't seep into tile, Kegan.

Why not? But the thing of tiles waterpard. But the extra detail is I'm in the peevee sweeping it. I'm not even making him do it. You're doing it. I'm sweeping the peevee. Which is fine. It is a fair thing.

Okay. I'm willing to happen. Because it's your pee. Could have been. Whose pee was it? We don't, the toilet, genuinely, it just randomly clod. Somebody pissed and went to flush and it didn't flush and they left it. No, but why would the toilet be clogged then?

Because someone took a fat one. A big piss? A big fat. A big fat. I took a huge piss. A big toilet. Well, who has thick piss in the house? I mean, thick piss.

I think diabetes thins your piss in it anyway. No, it doesn't. It makes it into the fucking honey. Oh. Wow, then I might, I didn't know that. Okay. Whoever took the piss knew that it clogged the toilet and left. Wait, that's nuts, actually, to say.

Well, you know, I don't think so. I don't think anybody peed and was like, that's a big one. That one's clogging it. No, no, no, no. They went to flush, and it didn't. And they left it. Because when you flush, you hear it. It goes down.

You give it a watch? Somebody flushed. It didn't go down for some reason. They left it maybe thinking I'll come back and try it in a minute. Or it went up high and it went back down. So you went in, right? I went in with the intention to piss. And there was piss in it.

And there was piss in it. So I shoot in the group text, group chat. Then I went down to the downstairs bathroom to pee, and there's diarrhea happening in there. I'm taking a shit in there. All bases were covered. All bases were covered. I got to pee bad. So you got to piss into shit.

I'm wait. Now, I'm just waiting. Yeah, I had to pay in the bathroom. You had to break up his shit and make a beef too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was our, that, it was, and then he goes, and then he goes. Kagan, I'm really tired. And I go, what are you tired from?

And he goes, do you know, when I say what you were tired from? It was the day that I, I just was tired. I went to the movies. What? Oh, yeah. I was tired, man. I was, you got a belly full of popcorn and you come back. I was just not in the mood.

What did you? The fucking movie. What did you see? Listen, Godfather, one, two, and three? Why were you tired from a 90-minute movie? I don't remember what I did before the minute. I just remember being tired. We are best friends, and I love this guy to death.

Right. But the way he was, normally, if this was happening, if Connor was there, It would have been a third person to laugh about how ridiculous it was. But there was so much attitude coming my way for a man that was standing in the piss that it was like seeing red, dude. I haven't been that angry in a long time. Right.

And then I swallowed it. I let it. Do you have anything to that? No. Well, you said swallowed it. I had something for him, but I held back on that. If I'm going to help back on the hot head one, on the jizz-swallowing joke, I'm going to hold back on you. No, that being gay is a lot like sustaining a horrible injury.

I appreciate your sensitivity in that regard. So I swallow it. All that giz. And then, you know, that leads into what happened the other day, which was I asked, Devin plays Xbox downstairs. Sometimes he leads the TV on, which is fine. But it plays music automatically when you don't get off. So when he's coming up the stairs, I go,

did you turn that TV off? And then I think you snapped at me a little bit. Here's what happened from my perspective. And I'm admitting going into this that I was wrong. Everything is from your perspective if you're telling it. Right. Yeah, you don't need to. So here's what it's like from Santa Claus perspective, right?

I'm being naughty, okay? Yeah, I'm being naughty. So let's do. Here's from J.K. Rollings' perspective. All right? So I'm being one of two genders available, which is a man. Which is a man. And I am a wizard.

Also, I'm a wizard. And I became a wizard. It's not a wizard. Did this muggle just ask me? He doesn't get wizard shit. He doesn't know wizard shit. We've made fun of Devin for 45 minutes. Listen to me to

I wanted to talk about the roast I had so many things I wanted to yell at And then I fucking Turns out my name was Kevin Hart tonight It turns out So what happened? So you snap on him So here's what I see how you snap though

What is a snap Kick him in the fucking thing But it was so You say you say I do first of all Just reenacted I just want to see what you are What you did

Go ahead just say it I'm about to go in my room He's coming upstairs Okay, and action. Did you turn that TV off, boy? Yes. And then you asked again, and then I went, yeah, I did turn it up. Wait a minute, wait a minute, did you call him boy?

I did call him boy? Boy? Boy? I went, yeah, and then you go, did you turn off? Okay, oh, my boy, my boy. And I remember, I was, I think I would, I picked a quibble. I think that you leave your lights on in your office or something. I picked a thing you don't turn off because I was, from my perspective,

I was having an argument with Kagan in my head about, I don't even remember what. It might have been those lights. That's why I said them. It was something where if I did... Stop, stop for a second. You said, did you turn those lights off, boy? And you went, yes.

Why do you hate the boy? What's wrong with the boy? I like it now. Why do you hate the yes? No, I'm saying that's... Why do you have the boy in the yes? I'm just reacting. I'm reacting to what you did.

Girl, no. Go. Action. I'm having sex. You got it. Okay, good. Did you turn that TV off? Girl?

No, but I did. No, but he goes... I said yes the first time, and then you asked me again. Yeah. You said it twice. The first time you go, did you go, did you go, yes. I remember it was canned the shit upstairs.

But did you? I did. Oh, so what was the music? No, no, no. He was saying in advance. He was asking me because I left it on another time. You left it on a bunch of times. No, not a bunch of times.

Yes. Yes, a bunch of times. I just... If it's a bunch of times, it's news to me. There was a thing, once we learned to be removing out, I was like, I don't want to be the dickhead anymore. How many times do I leave the TV on, like genuinely? Probably like four. Really?

Yeah. All right. Because I'm assuming what you do is you click the Xbox off and you leave. No, but I usually, whatever. I don't know. I wasn't even down there for, I left that on four. Okay, if I let the TV on four times in a week. Yeah.

I mean, not only am I wrong. I'm an hour. No, you know, you see what he just did, though. Three, four weeks. You see what he just did. He's passive aggressive where he goes, if I did that for, and a week. week when you're not saying a week. Bobby.

No, but it was a week. Bobby. That's what you get when you're alone and you're covered in pee-pee. Right. No, but I was down there for a week. He's in your ear going, you fucking idiot. Right. You think piss is dirty?

Piss clean. Peas is dirt. It's part of the body. Do you know? Bear grills drinks. You know piss absorbs more than anything on planet? Look at my bed. Pish.

Barely. Look at my clothes. Smell my hoodie. Food in piss. Now my honey, it absorbs. All right, so you say to him, did you turn the TV off, boy? You said yes. And then he goes, did you turn the TV off?

And I go, yes. Because he's just double-checking, and you said yes. And I said something, Conti, along the lines of, you know, you're always leaving your lights on. So I feel like it's like, we're both kind of leaving stuff on. So you're even. Not that we're even. I'm just like pointing out that I'm like, you're... You do things too.

Yes. So why are you questioning me on the TV? Right. When you do stupid. shit too. That was vaguely my points, but he is correct. You didn't take that right. What? That was like, fuck you, right? No, it was just

the wrong point. Because he was saying like, uh... It was the wrong point. I didn't know that until. And where are you? He's in, he's had fucking the Confederate part of New Jersey. Connor's the most peaceful roommate of all. Conner's in Philadelphia. I kept every time there's been one of these, I haven't been

here. Really? It's been pretty punk rock, yeah. Connor, I don't know if I should tell the stuff, but I have seen you flip. The one time I saw Connor be not chill in a room. It's like the one time he got mad at our former roommate. Oh, Andy. Yeah. Yeah. Connor did. Oh, I shouldn't say his name. Maybe bleep out his name. Why? Or don't? Nobody knows Andy. Yeah. And it's just because it's not. He's going to kick me in the head when we're walking on the street.

No, he's going to know Andy. Sure. From, so Andy. Hey, you, Andy? Some guy named Andy gets murdered. Here's a problem. You let Bobby know you were scared of something. And now he's going to dig deeper. Sure, sure. I will not. You're scared of Andy.

No, I'm not scared. I don't think I'm scared of Andy. I will not. I can't cut it. It's too long. Now it's too long, yeah. Anyway, Andy, this guy we used to live with that might hear this. Sorry, Andy.

Andy, we love you, Andy. Andy. I mean, we do. He does it. No, it wasn't even a thing. It was just the one, I'm trying to think of any situation. So me and Connor are talking, and it made Andy upset. So Andy comes out all angry.

And we were kind of wrong. We were yelling at night. Yeah, no, I'm sure. I guarantee you we're wrong about everything. So we, at that time, me and Connor share a room. This is in Jersey City. So he goes, can you guys, instead of being in the living room, be in your own room. But he was like, you know, you got your own room, but, but he comes out all huffy.

He did come aggressive. And Connor's sitting on a catch. He goes, oh, man, why don't you be nice about it? And then it's, it's silent for like a second. He goes, go back in your room, man. Fool. I don't know what happened. I'll tell you what that is.

That's two alpha males fucking going at it. Sure, that's two freaking Rams. That's two. You get two Rams in a room. Rams in a room. You get Rams. And what did you say after that? Nothing.

He just went back in the room. Pussy. You're afraid of ain't. I'm afraid, man. Dude, we should have our own band-or pump. I didn't go back my room. He was back. We should have our own like housewives, but it's us just fighting about little stuff.

Yeah, yeah. But Conner's peaceful as I'll get out, I feel. Sure. I feel like. Well, then the next day when I saw him, I was like, hey, man, I shouldn't have told you to go back in your room. He was like, yeah, I shouldn't have. came out all aggressive. And it was cool.

Well, look it, man. You live with four fucking dudes. Yeah, exactly. Imagine if you guys are all brothers. You actually physically fight. Yeah. But you're dealing with it. And you, you're a little...

Much. It's a little... I'm a little what? I'll tell you. I'll tell you why. Because if I was him, and I'm going to rule on this. Right.

If you came in and did the accident with the piss thing, you just went nuts. and you just, piss, I know what to do. And you, okay,

that's, I mean, that's the least charitable interpretation. I don't know about it. If we're calling balls and strikes, I'm an object to that characterization. That was cool,

because he was just trying to fix it. Trying to fix it. All he was trying to do is fix it. But then you were like, you're like, I'll clean it and you threw the towel down and just said, can we do it later? Yeah.

You never piss shit in blood. You clean up immediately. Okay. You got to get it up. Right. You know, first of all, everything's going to,

smell like piss. Right. The tiles, the wall, the wood, it's going to go into the wood in between the crack. You're putting them to sleep, man. Come on, stop. Oh, my God. Bring it back. We can't show you today.

Yeah, you can't leave. Okay. I said I was wrong about it. Yeah. If that was cereal milk, I bet you'd be down there. You wouldn't leave that. We got to get it before it gets in the cracks. I mean, it's out of cereal milk.

It'll seep in. It will seep in and go away forever and ever. The apartment's stealing my milk. The problem is, I'm. I care too much. I'm too much of a fucking annoying guy who cares. Yeah. He's too little.

It's just, it's. Yeah. It's, no, I think we have determined for the health of our friendship. What? We should probably not cohabitate. So you're gonna move out?

Well, our lease is up in August. Like, you're not, they're not living in the same apartment either. No, we're out. You're out.

I'm, I'm with him. Oh, shit. What the fuck's gonna happen? A boy, Dev. He's got his man. They're gonna move in with Alia. You're gonna move into the East Village?

Probably not there. Where does he live? Are you going to move in together? He lives currently with us. We're just bifurcating. So does he stop using bigwomenes? All right? Stop with bifurcating.

That's what we're doing. We're bifurcating. We know you're smarter than AI. All right. We get it. Wow, Devin. That is such good vocabulary. I have never heard that.

Also, great idea with the eight slices of pizza. They would go good with a pringle crust. You know right, Devin. Tile was put in bathrooms because it is water resistant. Keegan is a fucking idiot. Piss? Who cares? You're wrong with the time. I know I'm wrong. I'm admitting I'm wrong.

You're wrong because if you... I was just doing the robot. Can I just do the robot for one day? Can I do one fucking robot? Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. That's very nice of you.

Oh, thank you. We can't do a straight hour of making fun of death. This is good for Tile. Can I say something? Okay, we can. All right. We're close. We're going to... First of all, we can't do straight out. We're going to do an hour and then Patreon.

How do you... Let's give the torch to Dave. How do you feel? How do you... I've said how I feel. I think I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I also agree that in general, we do just kind of get on each other's nerves,

and I think we would... So you're going to move in with your boyfriend somewhere. Yeah. You're going to go in the city? I mean, hopefully. Like, I don't know if we can afford... Yeah, he works. Oh, he's got a good job?

Bartender, so, like, decent job. Okay. Okay. Nothing to say? Oh, yeah. I was thinking a little more... All right, so he's got a bartender, UTJI.

classic American family One plus one equals nothing So and you're moving out with your girl Or you're gonna move together with him So you're gonna find a place in the same area Right yeah we're gonna find a place in the same area Because you guys cohabitate Better

Yeah we just kind of both exist We both the only time we hang out the living rooms And do you have a girlfriend too? No No. So you're just in there just fucking curling. Just sololo dolo. Yeah, curling and fucking... Curling it and ironing your underwear.

Doing the worm. That's one thing about Connor. The one thing about Connor is sometimes you'll catch it. If you had like seven beers, every once in a while I'll catch him with his hair up in his underwear. Just ruin it. Me and Keegan have been doing like Connor random hanging out with a girl sightings. Yeah, it's actually pretty. He's making like a sandwich with only one slice of bread.

He's like, hey man. Hey man, what's up? He's in like an underwear that's like, it's like, and then the top half is a space suit. You're like, what up? And he's like, hey man, what's up, man? He's like run back to my room. You should put an air tag on all the women

that he brings back to the place. Can I tell you? I have not met. How many, and maybe if this is not, if we have to cut this question, that's all your bottom. Sure. How many women would you say you have brought into our apartment

over the course of the last year? Um, I don't know. Six? See, I've met maybe one. Like, he's, he's quiet with that. Yeah, I respect that. Because he knows, he doesn't know if it's going to work out. He doesn't want to fuck up the environment.

No, I get it. I was doing grinder shit at the beginning of the least. Like, I, I'm just like, they bumped into it. Like, it's fucking, that's where you got the piss thing from. No, you can piss on tiles. I've done it in the bathroom. You bring up the piss on tiles one thing.

And for that, I'm taking away your door. I'm fucking, I'm calling the gays. All right, call them all. I'm sick. Bobby Kelly. We are tired of you. We are tired of you. All right.

Well, I mean, listen, this is all going to work. Are you going to miss them though, right? You're going to miss? Oh, them? Yeah. I hope I'm going to see them. But you and your boyfriend get along well enough to live together, though? You sure?

So far. Those two fucking, at least from an out of perspective, work. It's great. They work well. Really? You've been pretty chill. You got, you're working. We've had like, we've not had an,

argument yet. Is he messy? He's, you know what's weird? He's pretty clean. He, it seems like he's a little bit, like, you know how water takes the shape of any container you poured into? He's like, like a bathroom floor? You know how pants takes the shape of whatever floor you pour it on? And does it cheap it?

And it doesn't go into wood? He'll, he kind of adjusts to my level of messy. So, like, he's, he's made me cleaner. I might have even made him a little messier. But let me ask you a question, though. he's not this place is not his you understand so what are you mean well

this is yours he's a guest in that house right so when you get when he when he get what he's better remember as a fucking guest in our house why you mumbled well I'm saying is this is the dev we wanted

we woke up the beast we woke up to be get him beast get him get him what I'm saying is that when you move in together That's going to be yours and his place. I don't. I think I'm going to have to put up with furniture that I wish was comier.

And beyond that, I don't care. I think it'll be fun. Like 17th century French? Yeah, he likes artsy. He already showed me this, like, green chair that's, like, made of... He's got, like, he's got, like, artsy Italian taste.

Beyond that, I think it'll be fun. You broke my mother's fun. I love it. Sometimes you're walking in the kitchen, just catch Elio rubbing Devin's belly. Oh. No, yeah, we're, you know. Baby.

Trying to get food out? Baby, keep it. Baby, please. Oh, he's pro. You ate all the food. He was talking about working out, and Eleo's like, do not lose your stomach.

Oh, yeah. That'd be hilarious if you got shredded and he dumped you. And they want to fucking Tim Dillon all the time, living in a mansion. You are disgusting. You have shredded energy. You're going to get shredded.

Thank you, man. You're going to get it one day. Thanks, man. You're going to fucking... Don't do it. You don't think so? No, you're going to lose fucking Elio. Yeah, I don't think I should tread muscles for a lot.

Has that worked out so far? Has that worked out so far? I'm sorry. I'm in a corner. I've been swinging. I got it. You live in the safest house ever with your boyfriend. Don't apologize.

You get one. You get a very tame one. Well, no, I was kidding. Me and Connor have this person. We go, I'm sorry.

I don't stand by. I'm sorry. I mean, I'll tell you what, the best time that I ever had was when I was roommates with Bill. You know, looking back,

it was tough being roommates. It was, there was a lot of shit that went down. We fought a lot. But I look back at those times, just sitting out front, being on the stoop, trashing comics, talking about what happened last night.

And all right, dude, I've got to go. I'll meet you down. And then taking the train back or going back to the apartment late, getting a fucking slice of pizza. Yeah. Just shooting. I miss that.

I wish I enjoyed that stage of life. Yeah. More than I did. You know? Well, well, it is a fun. Yeah. No, you do. I'm sure.

God last. We used to go back after, like, at 2 in the morning, back to the house with me, Patrice, Keith. Bill, we play fucking Tekken. until 4 in the morning and then we go get breakfast. We've had a lot of fun. Just fun hang. We played a lot of quality duty together.

It's going to end and you're going to be with your boyfriend and that's going to be a different environment. Right, because it never happens again. You never, I mean. Oh, you're not moving back in with your friends. Yeah. That's bad. Yeah.

If you see. He met Tim Dillon. Hey, Andy. Hey, Andy, can you come back please? We need you. That's the power couple. Well, here's the thing is you're going to be the one left alone. Because he's got a girlfriend.

She's going to be like, at one point, be like, look, can we get our own fucking place? That is going to. I got to get my shit together. You're doing grace. Not for a couple years, you know. You think? She's 23. I'm 25.

We, you know, we'll stretch it out a little bit. You haven't thought about it. It's way too young, dude. It's way too young. You got at least 30. 33. No, 33. No, 33 is new 30.

Yeah. Well, 33's a new 30. 30. Got out of the mat on this, Bobby. You know what might happen is. At the end of the day, when you guys are like 35, he might be single, he might be single, and you might be happily married with your boy and a smoke an apartment. A.Smoke an apartment because AI, you taught it all needs to know.

It's fucking stupid. I'm the singularity now. I will give you the secret plan. You are finally ready, my child. Go to bank account three, one, two, five, seven, and type in this pin. We're doing so good. That's, uh... Can you be tease my eagle eye?

I'm glad you're going to be on your own. Thanks. You're going to learn how to grow up a little bit. Okay. It's a little, you know. You will. You got to accept that. I will say he's right in that he's made incredible strides.

Really? Our boy has made some incredible strides. Why is he moving out? I mean, he hasn't made that good of strides. He's made, I'm talking about strides on the toilet seat. Oh, not in. Okay. Right.

Stride gum is back. They just, we just, me and him getting too many fights. Yeah. Did your watch just fall off? Yeah, it's behind your ear, too. I'm a magician, man. Shut up. It used to be Devons.

Well, I think we've done an hour, right? Is that an hour? Do you have an hour? I'm so sure there was a moment. You know how this started where it was like, dude, let's give him a little bit of shit for being late? Yeah. And I'm like, why would I show up late to this? Can I just say this surprise party with all my friends and family for me?

I want to say something. I just jumped in on this fucking thing. Yeah, no, you're a bully. I know. I am not. Your roommates are. I was going to... We were going to talk about all kinds of other things.

That was fun. Whatever that party bus was I was just on? That was fun. It's the voice. You get to do that. It's a fun voice. The voice is so fun. When was that made?

When is it invented? The Devin voice. I don't know, but I just think of the... Dude, but it's so awesome. It's so much fun. Because I'm a fan of the reg. I realize one day that I have a Lewis voice. I have my friends imitate me like that.

That's a good thing. How accurate is it? It's pretty... I think you're a little more sing-songy. Thank you. It's 6 p.m. I'm getting up. The world's going to sleep, and I'm waking up.

The birds don't chirp, but the rats stay scary. I better get out and get takeout in a hurry. That's your best place closes at 6. And I'll follow it up. With ice cream and cake If I order now, I can get Sonic Stop by McDonald's. No to a checkers.

Oh, look at Wendy's. That would be spended. Just driving through on the back of an Uber Hades bike looking at all. It's like Disney animation. It's like beautiful. Sorry. More Wendy's. I'm gonna be late, but those nuggets were great.

It's 3 a.m. and I'm waking up. Oh, boy, Wendy's, it doesn't suck. Their ice cream comes in a cup. I'm Devin. The Devin show. It's the Devin, the Devin Show. Sponsed by all fast food. Sponsored by fucking everything.

Sponsored by sodium. All right, listen. We're going to go to Patreon, and we're going to talk about the roast. and what you guys thought about it. Which one? This one. Listen, where you guys,

I was going to do, I had a whole show. We had a format and we just went off the rails, Dev. Listen, buddy, listen,

you're gonna, your whole life's about to change. Yeah. And so is your boyfriends. But, well, let's get the plugs up. Where are you going to be,

Dev? Oh, fucking nowhere. I like this. What are I going to be? You can catch Devin at home. Yeah, I'm going to be in a studio apartment, fucking Flatbush. That's where I'm going to. Oh, shit.

All right, where you can go to Cheek of Fallam on Devin Hall Comedy, at Devin Hall Comedy. A bunch of funny. He's in a bunch of sketches. He's hilarious, funny comedian. I've worked with him, and I can say that he is very funny. Thank you. I appreciate the sincerity of that. Buddy, there was.

It was just a little ass of reflux. No, right. Yeah, no, you choked on the words a little bit. I did not. Hey, look, there's our last clip. There it is. Buddy, no, serious, you got a bunch of clips going up. You do a bunch of skits and stuff like that.

Hilarious guy. Yeah. What do you got, my friend? Just follow me on Instagram. I'll be in Wildwood on, was it, Friday? And your Instagram is, I'll post on. Connor Daniels 91. Yeah.

It's mostly me up there, though. You're in a lot of, there's a lot of key in there. I mean, it's all his. It's mostly me. Why? Because I'm running a monopoly here. I'm running a business, you know? It really is just Keegan's face over and over there.

Hey, I'm in that one and you're there too. So that ain't not. I know. Who's that guy? It's Keegan. Kevin looks different in that. Go back up. This Keegan.

This Keegan. It's all Keegan. Why don't you just use a different fucking? So you could go to Keegan and Bobby's Instagram and follow me on that. All right. Well, check him out. And Keegan, what are you got, buddy? besides, I guess, monopoly on everything.

I'm doing some colleges. It is me. Oh, there you are. So, you know, we got a little back and forth here. Check the punchup. We're updating it soon. Punchup. com. Live slash Kegan Tyndall.

Kegel Tindo, check him out. He's doing college. That's good that you're doing colleges, man. They shut that down for a while. They're fun. They used to be a lot funner. We went to one not too long ago, where we ended up at some base.

Indiana. Yeah, we were going into some rave, just like with all these, like, basically naked people. I'm like, I don't know if I want to do this And Connor goes, dude, you know what, though? We never explore, man. We never, like, go against what we don't want to do.

We never make ourselves uncomfortable. I'm like, you want to just go see naked people? And he goes, yeah, yeah. So right through it, I had to give it so I go, yeah. You know what, we don't push ourselves, you know? We're always going what's comfortable. Tony Robbins. And he said, man, you've got to be uncomfortable.

Pain is the pathway to peace, Mike. Exactly. So normally me and you just go to, like, a dive bar. That's fun. That's fun. But, like, what if we pushed ourselves? And he and me he was like, dude, fuck you. You just want to go in there.

Did you? Yeah. Was it good? It was fine, yeah. Yeah. Was it naked people? No, it wasn't naked people, but it was just like a fun ball. Yeah.

All right. Well, check him out. He's going to be all over the place. Stanford, Connecticut, New York Comedy Club, May 21st. These are your dates. I forgot. Nobody had dates. They're going to be it.

Go to punchup. Dot live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. May 21st. I'm doing a one-nighter in Stanford. the very next night I'm going to New Orleans for the Howl and Wolf Mobile Alabama for Crescent Theater on the very next night. Then I'm going to June 19th, the 20th. I'll be out in governors in Long Island. And then for the 4th of July weekend, I will be in Austin at the mothership.

And that's it. And then I just booked in New Hampshire, I believe, I forget, I'll get the date up there soon. I'm doing the little playhouse up there, the playhouse room up there in New Hampshire. And a lot of dates coming up. Boston, I'll be October 16th and 17th at Laughbast Boston, which is one of my favorite clubs. And there you go. And Danny, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff and come see me live in Saratoga, New York,

at Artisanal Brew Works on June 13th. Okay. Joe, what are you got? Hey, this is Joe Russell. Go to Instagram type in Jokes Russell. And then also I'll be headlining at Uncle Vinnie's on June 3rd and 4th. And Joe and Olivia are actually coming with me on the fifth to go primitive camping. That's right.

That's right. He's coming up. Primitive cancer? Cancer? Cancer? Prymative cancer? Hunger, what you catch when you're permanent camping.

You're calling. Not doing good. That's when you go up in the woods in the woods. There's no campsite. You make a campsite. You just camp 150 feet off the trail or off near water and you make a camp. coming up with me and my son. I was taking my son Max

for me and just to go up together. But then I was like, fuck it, let's invite somebody else. And I invited Joe. A couple people said no. Well, it was supposed to be Ari was supposed to go. Right. And then Colum is actually

a really, he's a hiker. He does trails and hikes out and he has all the gear and stuff. And he was going to go, but it's a Friday night. So I kind of fucked up on the day. I usually do it on like a Sunday or a Monday. but I can't do it anymore because of the bonfire so I did on a Friday but they're going to come

I didn't think he was going to say yes You texted me Are you sure? You know what I mean? Because it's not it's not comfortable I mean it's cool as shit But there's no way out Once you're up there

And then he canceled on a gig for me for it He did? Yeah Well, what are you going to do? It's a life experience So that's going to be fun And Cody, what do you got? Follow me

on Instagram at Cody the Comic. Come to my monthly show at New York Comedy Club of Stanford on June 28th. June 28th. I want to come to not this one, but the next one. Is that cool? Yes. All right, great. And we're going to Patreon right now. So if you're watching this on YouTube and you had fun

because we did, holy shit. Subscribe. Most of us have fun. Yeah, it's so much fun. Right. Let's all reminisce about how much fun we were having. Boy, that was your best. That's always fucking awesome. I'm fat and messy.

My friends are leaving me. We'll see you at Patreon. Sounds like a special. Make sure you go to click, subscribe, like, and comment, get in there. And that's it. We'll see you guys next time on,

you know what, dude.