Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #641 | Paul Virzi & Mike Albanese

Episode Date: May 31, 2026

Paul Virzi and Mike Albanese come on the pod to discuss the end of Bone To Pick Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care with HIMS @ http://hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day. Where it all started before fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the original. What's up everybody? We're back.

YKWD podcast. You know what, dude? We're at the Comedy Seller Studios above the world famous comedy seller. Give me a favor if this is your first time tuning in. Subscribe if you're on YouTube. Subscribe, like, comment, hit the little bell. It helps the show. If you can take that too.

Can you not? I mean, I'm in the middle of the fucking intro and you got to do you. What do you mean? What I do? Sip in and a-em. I did not a-uh. You, uh-uh. I mean.

Go back right now. No, I went, ah. No, you went, uh-huh. And then you went, ah. No. Yeah. We can't hear you because you're not talking to the mic. It was that.

I said it could have been me. Wasn't you. It was him. I didn't. Guys, did you hear Paul go? Uh-uh. I did not. Thank you.

All right. I want you to do this. If you're watching this on YouTube but listening to this, just rewind a little bit. Go back to when I was doing the intro and tell me if you get it. And if there is a eh-uh, it's from Paul. And I want to let him know that he fucking did it. I didn't a-uh. Anyways, great show tonight.

Yes. Go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. We go there at the end of the show. It's only for Patreon where you guys get to be asked questions to everybody on here and they answer your questions. Whatever questions you have, they answer.

So go there. If you want to become a member, Robert Kelly.com slash Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. Fislexia. I got ADHD. I got it all. I can't believe you keep them all together.

I got them all. And send your bones to what? We have no more. Dude, now we're more. Guys, we have no more bones. Danny, who do we got tonight? We are from the Bone to Pick Podcast. and Paul's best podcast, Paul Verz.

He's in the house. And Big Mike Albanyes. Like, hey. Also from the bone to pick podcast. That's fine, though. What the fuck, bro? It felt like a real slight. We were all hanging out and

then he's coming out and me to cut my legs out. He was third mic on the fucking podcast for three years. When I said from the Bone to Pick podcast, I put it in for both of them. No, I didn't. Well, you know? Well, you know what?

Why don't you just take a hit? This is the new generation. They can't take hits. They can't go, I fucked up. I'm sorry, Mike. Say, I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry, Mike. I love you.

Thank you for your apology, Danny, accepted tentatively. We'll see how the rest of the night go. Another fucking generation that takes apologies. Who does that? I said it tentatively. I'm in the middle. What happened in here? What are you talking about?

It's a bearer. What'd you say? It's more bear. What is a bearer? It's less. It looks, yeah, like you're moving. You're getting out of here? No, dude.

Look, here's a deal. First of all. You used to have a shelf, no? Am I not to think you had like a shelf with a lot of stuff? Yeah, we took all that down. Now we have a different, we have a different look. Okay. It's a more professional look.

We got one, two, three, four, five cameras. Okay. They're controlling it. They're over there. You know what I mean? We have a professional look now. Everybody's got their own shot. Okay.

It's like what Mike did, but you didn't know. No, I'm just saying you had a bunch of knickknacks and shit. Yeah, we took the knickknacks away. Everybody has a fucking knickknack shelf. It's true. I don't like a, I had the first knickknack shelf out there. You know what I mean? One thing I love about Bobby is, Bobby did.

But you know something in here? his defense, he did start a lot of the shit that everyone's doing. Yeah. Except you didn't, you know what you did? I didn't do it successful. No, no, no, no, no, you know who did it. You launched a lot of people and waved as they flew away. No, I remember when you first day, I'm like a fucking farm team.

I remember. I want dance soda, Joe List, Lewis Gomez. You're like, oh, Tim Dillon. Let me get him. Nate Bagazzi. You're Kansas City 7. People wanted to have to go through you to get to New York. I remember the first YKWD's,

when you would have like eight of us on. I know. It was wild, too. Well, I used to get, and here's the thing. I always did this podcast, and I never listened to the fans. They would tell me. It was like me on Bone to Pick.

They would quit listening to the comments. They would be like, you can't have so many people. But that was the thing. Whoever came up came up. It was just comics hanging out, and you could say whatever you wanted. I had people fighting, arguing. I remember, I mean, dude,

I would fucking scream at comics. I remember. What? I remember a couple. Who? A couple? Yeah, there were a couple. Shut up.

Yeah. Who? One guy you were like, take the fucking bandana. Remember you had a bandana. It's here. The bomb bandana. Yeah, and somebody's like, I'm not doing that.

And you fucking were like, yeah, you are. And he was like, no, I'm not fucking doing it. And you're like, see, you come to my fucking. And I was just like, hey. You know, Michael Che was on that show. I forgot who the comic he yelled at was. But, uh, it was Michael Chey before he was Michael Che. He was Michael

Chee. He wasn't Michael Chee, Chee, Chee. He was Michael Chee. He was Michael Chee. He was doing spots at the seller. Yeah, but he was also on SNL. No, he wasn't. Not yet. No, because as soon as he started doing SNL, he never said yes to coming on the show again. It was actually Shane Gillis, you were yelling it. But it was before Shane was Shane was... No, but it was...

No, it was Shane. He never yelled at Shane. This is why he's a fucking trouble starter. He just wants to get in with shit. He's not going to use you, Danny. He doesn't like you, fat-headed fucking... Cody did just lean over to me and go, it was Shane that he was yelling No, Shane, Shane came in the first time. I remember when Shane came in the first time.

Not only does he fucking not take it, but he's past the buck. He's, he's... And then Cody was like, yeah, it was man. Yeah, because Cody's a man. Because it was Cody. Where are all these voices coming from? I don't see anybody. I don't see anybody.

They're producers. They're behind the producer wall. You think I'm going to fucking show their faces on camera? Fucking lose more subscriptions. I might gain more. I could just call it the fucking zoo. Well, no, Shane came on the first time. and I went downstairs, somebody didn't show up.

I went down to say, Dan, I was like, Dan, he goes, no, have Shane on it. Shane's my friend, I don't know who he was. He came up chewing tobacco and just spitting it in a cup. Yeah, he was here, I was there, I remember. And I was like, dude, you can't fucking chew it here. And he was like, spit that out. He was like, he looked at me like this.

You can see Shane went, he didn't know if you were serious. And then I went, I think I liked this kid because he was, he was balls. You know, it wasn't Shane. I remember that. I know it was. Who was it?

It was the producer for... Fuck, who's podcast? He had hair, black hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a producer for... That was a down.

It's our producer. What? That's every producer, just the fat guy with hair. You think that's what it means to be successful? You got to have... You got to be bald? I shave my head. No, I'm not the fuck you talk about.

You got a tiny house. I got a tiny house. Yeah, fucking everybody else has a big other house. I sold my camper. You did. Yeah, I'm out. Why? What?

How much six hours? How much? After the podcast is over, he gets free time. I know, fucking twat. Me? What are you divorced, too? Free time. What are you talking about?

Like a lot of free time, though. That's a fuck a second. I didn't want to do it no more. Feet up. I wish. 7.30 a.m. I started this morning. I couldn't fathom having to continue to do bone to pick with the amount of work. Yeah.

Why could you have fun of fun of it? on the podcast when you can have some lady go, well, the justice system is, you know, what happens with Obama? You know what I do with those people? I know what you do. Make money. Yeah, that's what he collects. That's what he wanted. I get the bill him an invoice.

If we were like one month away from just pop it off, like Vince Vaughn's sorry, just guys, I gotta come on. And then it was just like, we popped off. We were the biggest podcast out there. We wound up touring, doing live shows, with Bone to Pick, making hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of dollars a year.

We might have been one month away from doing that. I had a great time doing it, boys. He doesn't want to end. Why can we do it here? Why here? We do have fans submitted bones tonight. Oh, we have fan bones. Oh, we got to get to those.

We'll get to those. Thank you, Danny. Yeah, I mean, look, Bonapick was fun as shit. Here's why it was a good show. It was fan-based, and it was stuff that pisses you off. It was so relatable because everybody deals with it. It was an outlet. Outlet.

It was an outlet. The people that liked the show love the show. And it was, it was a different fan base than this. Yeah. Yes, it was. It was not,

I have, you know, a few different fan bases. This was a whole new... Dude, we had a soccer mom fan base. I'm not gonna lie, they were awesome. They were great. I miss moms.

Dude, angry moms. Angry moms. We had women. Do we had... We don't have women. Do you have women? I mean, I have some women. We have some women.

We have some women. I got Lou and Melissa. No, Bone was women. Women. Women. Women. I would say, might have been 60-40 middle-aged women, no?

40 on the women's side? Yeah. Yeah, probably. 30, 30-70. Dude, almost 50. We pulled up the stats. I don't know my computer. Well, here's the thing, too, is that having Mike, when we had him in at the beginning,

he just got the show. You know what I mean? Well, no, he cared at the beginning. I still care. All right. Here we go. We want to talk about it. We can talk about it.

We can break it down. Stupid Mike had to get a career. Stupid Mike wants to be successful and get married and have to make money. Boom. Fucking asshole. Somebody said to me at the other day at my daughter's soccer game, he goes, hey, dude, that bone where the wife was pissed off that the husband tried getting as much gasoline out of the mower as he could. So he kept trying to start. He's like, it's one of the funniest things I ever seen.

And he just went back to watching his daughter play soccer. Dude, I'm not even joking. He's like, that was a funny issue. It was probably one of my top five bones. so just walk in front of my camera Joe I mean just do that he said I'm good I'm gonna throw something at I'll break your fucking boca lens

he said I'm good you gotta give him credit he says I'm good no he said you're good he said you're good did he walk in front of my shot Cody oh fucking you guys how many people are behind here over there I love why because I keep how how many people are there

seven No, at least two or no There's two people behind that door There's more Yeah, we have We have three dannies behind that door We made him This is killing me dude

We made What? Zinn 6, it just makes me crazy Oh really? Yeah I can't do it I love Mike wait

I'll break it down if you want fellas I'll do it right now We both went like this anyways Yeah Yeah we don't need We got it Yeah we got We got it

But where's the money Hey, but where's my money? What the fuck, man? Three years of backpacks Working through it. Oh, get your fucking shit together. It'll take a couple weeks. It's been seven months.

My guy will do it. The worst thing you want to hear on the show business. My guy will take care of it. Send it to my guy. My guy will take care of my accountant. My guy does that. It'll be. My wife's my CPA.

Oh, shit. You guys will never see it. of that money. I hope you die. I hope your business fails. Yeah, all these comics. My wife deals with that. You know what? I can't get my wife deals with my shit. Because you might know why? Because we can't multitask. What?

Comics can't multitask. What are you talking about? We multitask all the time. Nah, but we can't do it all. What do you mean? He's putting you in that quick category. He's saying we. He means that. No, I agree with them. Totally. Dawn, Ron, Stacey. They run, they, without them. You know why? Do you know why? Yeah, because they're responsible and not mentally ill.

Yeah, we're fucking, we have issues. Yeah. We're made to do this. I remember one time my manager goes, just be funny. Everything else needs to be taken care for you. And I go, yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. I'd rather that. Yeah, we can't. I can't look at a bill. I'll collapse. My wife goes, I'm doing the finances, and I just saw a spreadsheet, and I almost threw up.

You know what I said to my wife? What? Every few months, are we good? I should go, she'll do this. Yeah, we're good. I'm like, oh, God, thank God. I get charts. every month. I go, all right, they're good.

It's in the positive. We're good. I don't, I don't, man, it's the, I remember, because I remember there's a couple times when I, are we good? She's like, you're going to need to work in the next. I was like, what? No, nothing's worse. So when your wife goes, you talk to your agent? Oh, God.

I tell you what, I got a bone to pick with Don right now. It's a Friday night, Paul's at home. She goes, what, I'm sorry, what's going on here? Trying to read the garage. Hair loss doesn't fix itself. Hymns is here to help you act now. Hems offers a range of prescription hair loss treatments, including chues, oral medications, serums, and sprays.

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Hems.com slash YKWD. Featured products include compound. drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monocidal and finasteride. I was so fucking mad at her because she said to me like three, four months ago, she's like, you don't have any gigs in May and June.

Maybe you should get some gigs. And I'm like, do we need gigs? That's fucking. She's like, no, we're good. I'm just saying, you know, you don't have, you should probably get a couple gigs. And I'm like, but if we don't get these gigs, are we fucking tumbling out of control? You know, you can't just say that. I'm fucking, I'm trying not to kill myself every day.

You know, we try to take, I have, as a comic, I don't know if you do this. I know you do this in the summer. I like a couple of light months, December and August. I like to be light. And Stacey will be like, you're going to pick anything up in the, Yeah, because I don't... And I'm like... They don't want us around.

I think, yeah. She wants me out. She likes the Thursday, come back Sunday. She wants... I think she wants to have time to miss me. You know what I mean? They like when we go to the airport. They like it.

Because we go early. You don't even wake them up. Oh, my wife packed my luggage for me. She's so sweet. Yeah, that's why. Babe, why is it at the door? I just figured to make it easy. An easy morning.

You called my Uber. Here's my bone with her, ready? She fucking makes me... go, go give me some dates. She gives me dates. So I fill the dates. I fill them. Yeah. She gave me Memorial Day weekend. There's no gigs happening. Memorial fucking day weekend ever. Yeah. What are you doing? I'm looking at bones, buddy. I didn't think about it until now, but we should do some bones. We got bones. Okay. We got fan bones. I keep forgetting. Every time I'm around you two, I feel like I should be working. I start sweating.

He has a flashback. He's like, Rod, he just starts yelling, Roger. Where's it? Paul's going to come in with another podcast he started. I see. In the middle of it? Yeah, you did. What? You fucked us. Fuck that.

You fucked us. No, no, no. Yeah, you did. I fucked you. You. Hang on. You have 15 podcasts. Hang on.

When I came in. What? When I came in. Yeah, but I lost Verzi effect. I always had. You left Verzi effect. To parlay into this. No.

What about this? What about this? Yeah. Yeah. You went and did a whole new... You turning on me? Yeah. You fucking...

Buddy, been turned. He's been turned. Did you notice the timing of me starting to go, hey, guys, what are we doing here? Right as the Paul's best started showing up? Fucking Paul's best. Dude. I was your best.

What? We was your best. We was your best. We was your best. We was the best. And then you had to go get a side kid. We had the best. Yeah, we had it until you got the best.

No. Yeah, you did. Oh, no. You started getting good guests. We couldn't. Why don't you pass the guests over to us? Oh, oh, so now, I had the Verzi effect forever, and I needed to change it and revamp it. So I did that.

You got regs and this and the fire and the fucking, what? The fire. Yeah, bonfire and the fucking regs. You got another one too, you did. What? Wait, how many, do you do, you do this? You do the regs? Yeah.

You do the bonfire? All before it came to the bone. And what's the other one you do? All before the bone. You do another one, too. Before the bone. What does that mean? That means you.

I had, I had. had a verzi effect before the bone. You can't. You start on a new one. I heard Paul start on a new one called Axe the Grind. Him and Pete Davidson? What about I got a bone? I'll lay it on the table.

We're all together again. Wait, I didn't even get to my bone yet. No. My bone. She booked me on this weekend. I usually go up to the tiny house. Memorial Day weekend. All of us.

I yearn for the long weekend where Max is off. I don't have any gigs. I look on my calendar. fucking two weeks ago, Memorial Day is two weeks early. She booked me on Memorial Day weekend. So I have to go up to the tiny house and open it up next week by myself. Oh, man. Like a serial killer.

Yeah, but that's going to be fun. How? You don't like that? No. You don't like being alone. I want to be with my family. What do you mean? What am I going to do?

What am I going to do? What? I don't want to jerk off in a tiny house. Jerk off, make a fire. Make a fire and jerk off in the fire? Now you get me. Have you hamburger? There's a steak, maybe like a fucking big steak.

Buy yourself in the woods with a gun. I'm going to jerk off naked with a done. Raw meat on your chest. Raw, giz on my chest? I said raw meat, but his jizz would be better. All right, now you sold me. What's your bones? Sausages.

I mean, it goes back to Paul's best a little bit. Oh, my God. Okay. What? I had a conversation with you. Yeah. When we, towards the end of the bone. Okay.

And I said, hey, Paul, you got this deal going on over at Will Ferrell's And I said, maybe you could set up a meeting or, like, give me an email to introduce it. What did you say to me when I said that? What did I say? What did you say? No, I don't remember. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does.

No, I don't know. He goes, Paul goes, what do you think about all things comedy? I go, no, no, I don't want all things comedy. I go, what about the Will Ferrell? You go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me set you up with all things comedy. Yeah, do you want to know why? You kept swerving me left when I'm trying to get into the Will Ferrell.

Because you want to know why? Comedy that doesn't do podcasts anymore. He left All Things Comedy. You son of a big... And he's trying to give it to us. No, first of all... We're called the leftovers. That's our new podcast.

All things comedy was... We're going to do the leftovers. Altis comedy was great. Number two, do you understand the things we say? Have you listened to some of the things that we say? Have you listened to some of the things? You have said. Bucking you have said some sexual things.

And you think that these people are just going to fucking listen to some... And listen, let's be honest. We've said some political things. We've done some... You! No, no, I know. You. Well, you.

You. Who's dirtier? You. Who's filthier? You. Who talks more sex? You. Who's lying?

You. Yeah, we said some wild stuff. That show should have just been our own shit. Yeah, it was. Until you got another show. Good, I am not. If you cocksuckers brought me here to ambush me, okay? Because he got married.

Okay, because you got married. You got married. You got married. You got bills to pay. I'll get divorced right now. Do it. Let's go. Do it. I'll call her. I'll quit everything right now. God, I will. This first, though. If you quit. If you quit.

If you quit. Here's how we would do it. What? We cut everything else out of our lives and we just do bone. That means you cut it all out. You're out of your fucking treats. I care. Are you nuts? You don't care. I got a job. It's a great show. I love my shows. that I was in before I did the bone.

The bone was no boss. The bone was no boss. No boss. And fucking no fucking mullah. And no structure or plan. Now, do we do Wednesday? We're all in a Wednesday. Buddy, I kind of go to my kid's soccer game.

Can we do it Tuesday? Can we do another live? We'll talk about it. I think the only thing that was keeping us together at the end was the great meals that were being delivered. Oh, God. We were about to quit until we had that. We were going to quit for three months until he brought that chicken parm sandwich and that eggplant parm sandwich.

We just said we could do this another month. A couple, two, three more. Then he did the empanadas. I was like, maybe another month. You know what? Maybe we, maybe it's us. That's why we have no money. He spent it all the fucking food the last two months.

We had good dinners. We had a good times, man. Buddy, it was a great show. And here's the thing. I think we did too much. What do you mean? We did eight shows a week. Yeah.

I mean, eight shows a month. It shows a month was a lot. Too much. Yeah. Too much. We should have done a fucking season. We should have done a season. 15 episodes

and we should have done a Patreon twice a month I think we launched a Patreon too soon we should have waited longer why? Because I think that put too much pressure on it because then it became a job I'm sorry I didn't mean to be real about it

Paul's stupid I think that Wait what What's the ringer What's that mean What's the buzzer What's the buzzer? What's the ringer?

What's the bell? What's the fucking bell mean? Is that the sound of bingo? What's the bell? How come you always have a thing? Because I'm Bobby fucking thing. Where's your thing's there? What do you got today?

I mean, these pockets out, Bobby. Yeah, sure. I mean. I got notes. He's a set list. What else? You knew his Zinn was coming. I got another Zin.

There's three Zins. I got a fuck. What's the blue? Oh, my God. Look, he's got a coffee. But it's a six. He's got a granola bar. I got some stuff in my pocket.

You got an espresso martini's in? Yeah, so good. Oof. Anyways, listen. Would you be an espresso martini guy if you were drinking? No. You don't think so? No, I'd be a fucking...

Were you an angry drunk? Bourbon on the rocks. I love a bourbon on rocks. Were you an angry drunk or just a guy that didn't stop? Was I angry drunk? Yeah. Oh, you were? Yeah.

I think so. Because, no, because you could go one or two ways. No. If you were a fun drunk, we'd have a lot of fun. I was not fun at all. I drank. My average night when I was like 13 or 14 was a pint of... A pint of...

You went by volume? Alan's 101 snobs. Dude, you drank a place? When you were 13? Yeah, but I wouldn't drink the whole thing. Like, I'd half, I'd have... I'd one sip half the bottle just to get it down. Wow.

At 13? And then I would nurse the rack of tolls and the rest of the... The peppermint snobs for the rest of the night. Or I drink That is a 13 year old would drink Yeah Or I drank Um um bum juice

You know What's that? Jungle juice No bum juice Like the Wild Irish Rose Mad Dog 2020 Mad Dog 2020

Mad Dog 2020 I didn't have a job I was 13 So I had a steal To get money To pay for my booze Or drugs So

That's the crazy thing Magdog 2020 It was 250 a bottle You get fucking whacked Oh my Was it wine whiskey mix Or something No it's just like

Malted Malted bullshit Yeah, it was a terrible. No, no, Mad Dog 2020 was fucking horrible. What is in Mad Dog 2040? Look that up. It's malt. It's a wine.

Devil Jizz. Mad Dog 2020. That's not it. That is. No, do the, from 1980. No. That's what I'm talking about. Now, Mad Dog 2020 from 1980.

No one looks good. 1985. Do what those on the rocks? That green one? A couple rocks. That's what I used to drink right there. That's the one. That's old school.

what's in it? Talking to the mic. Red grape. That's the ingredients. Yeah, it was wine and whiskey mits, I think, right? I don't think it's whiskey. I think it's just like booze. Well, what's in it?

Read it! It doesn't say he's going to... It says it right there. Highly popular in 1985. It's original nostalgic flavors like red grapes, orange jubilee, banana. I only had the red grapes, which is like that.

That's how you know it's dog. dog shit because it's all the colors don't go with the flavor. I just go, what's in it? And he always has to do the type of ingredients and it will come up. I mean, we have a magic machine in front of us. It's not 1985 now. Grape wine. Great wine.

That's what it was. Yeah. High proof alcohol. It's not even like a brain. It's just high proof alcohol. It used to get me fucked. I would one sip that bottle. I used to, I used to park in a parking lot with Mad Dog 2020s

and I would hang out with a girl in the back of my Ford Explorer. That sounds romantic. It was kind of nice. Fult the seats back, light a candle. That idea in a closed car. I used to go to a park with all Italian kids of all ages that were very violent, and we drink and then try to go fight other people. A bunch of 13-year-olds hopped up on Molina.

Oh, I was hanging out with 18, 30-year-olds. I was 18-year-olds, 25-year-olds, 30-year-olds. What would they hang in with you for? I was hanging out with Mikey Catalano, Mikey Dots, Mikey O, Jake Gag. How many Mikeys? A lot of Mikees. Mikey O, Mikey D.

Yeah. Yeah, there was all... I mean, yeah, I was the youngest kid at the park. Well, that's why. When you're young and you do those things, you're with older kids. You're like, when I fucking acted out, it was all older kids thinking you're cool, thinking you're nuts, thinking you're funny. You want to impress them and shit.

You know what I mean? But 13 is young, dude. Were you like a chug the whole thing in front of them to make it look cool? You had... We were drinking to get fucked up. So it's like just, Jake Gagliotti You fucking taught me how to one sip a bottle

You drop your tongue down Like that And if it doesn't hit your tongue You don't taste it So you won't gag That's what Jay Gagliotti taught you? But what about the booze? Well, that's how I learned

How to drink booze He's like, let me show you something Just put your tongue down You're not going to feel anything You're not going to... You're right, it doesn't taste like a bottle You're not going to taste any of this cum Who's dirty now?

Me, a little bit. Yeah, dude, I used to fucking get fucked up. Like blackout. At the end, I was blackout drunk. I was just drinking, blacking out, fucking waking up, all fucked up. It was terrible. It's the worst question to ask a sober person, but what would it, what's, what's it take? Not because I'm going to try to do it, but what would have to happen for you to know?

Me to drink? I'm gonna, you know what I'm going out. Nothing. Zero. No, no, because I. That's great. I would just go back to that immediately. Mad dog?

I would go back to just being a fucking, just violent drunk. You don't think you could have two drinks and walk away? You know me, me sober. You think if I, you think if I drank alcohol, that would be a good thing for me? No, because you came to my surprise 30, some, fifth, whatever party it was. And you're like, oh, you know what? I'll have a cigar with you at your fire in your backyard. and then you fucking became friends with Rocky Patel.

You got 7,000 cigars. You know everything about cigars. You smoke cigars all the time. You went all in with it. Oh, that's, you know what? I forgot that you're the one who got me into cigars again. Well, you're the one that got your cigars again. No, I was into cigars when I got sober.

I got into cigars, but it was like macanudo and shit. That was when macanudos came out. The sweet ones? Yeah, no, I never smoked those. No, I hate those. I used to love those acid, flat ones, a little. rectangle. Oh, I hate, they give me headaches. Of course. I hated them so much. But yeah, I smoked that. I quit when I quit smoking and I was, I was, I'll never smoke again. And then I went to

your house. Yeah. And you had that party. And then you came around and you gave everybody a bat. And I was sitting around a fire pit with a bunch of guys smoking, laughing. Yeah, we had a great time. Food. And I was like, this is it right here. I love this. And then I became the cigar. I mean, motherfucker. Yeah, you jumped in the deep end. A deep end. Cannonball. Well, I was driving by my house where I lived,

and there was a sign that said cigars. It was in a little shitty strip mall, too. And there was a poultry place, a massage place, and it just said cigars. And there was stairs. So I was like, yeah, worst comes to worse. I'll get a hand job. So I went upstairs, and it was Cigar Republic.

Yep. Remember that place? I brought you this. It was like, remember that shitty, little, it looks like it's nothing. And then you go upstairs at a lounge, that amazing story. TV room. Oh, it was great. I went up there, talked to the guy. He started

giving me cigar, try this. I joined that day. It was like 65 bucks a month. I joined. I had a place to go right down the street. I would go there and smoke. I met all the fucking, I met all my man friends there. Polly G., Pat, all the fucking Spaniados,

robbed the cop. I was like, what the fuck? This is the place. This is a big Tracy villain over there. Chantino to Pitchamuses. I remember we went in there. You said, Paul, come up there with me. You had the code. If you remember, you go any time.

24 hours a day. 24 hours a day. Do we go? Is there somebody working there 24 hours in? No. But you go in. But you have a locker. I have a locker.

I have my locker filled with cigars. But like, you have access to the TV, a card table. You could just go in there. I could get into that. Yeah. I love a locker. I got a locker at the gym. But remember there was porn on?

Just like having it. There was little TV and there was just. Hang on one second. You can afford a gym? you Coxaca? I can't know. All this bone to pick money. Why do you think we didn't get paid yet?

I thought you right now. He sold everything. He's out of here. He's his car up front. Yeah, exactly. His carqueca's got one of those three-wheel motorcycles now, just for shit for giggles. He just blasted him and his wife. It has bone to pick logo.

It has a skull on it. I got a good pick for you. I'll get it. So what happened? We went in there. Remember they're just porn on? It was just like this girl. She was like bouncing up and like screaming.

And these two old guys were in there. Nobody said anything. The old guys used to go up there and smoke cigars and watch porn. But just watch hardcore. Do you know how nuts that is? To just be fully dressed in a cigar, just watching porn. They don't allow that anymore. It's done.

Those guys, I think they're dead, too, those guys. I think they're dead. Yeah. I remember there was all little armchairs. And they always sit there smoking cigars. And you hear, oh, fucking daddy. Oh, my daddy. Oh, daddy in my ass

It was all like old guys It was like old guys Fucking, yeah That was sad What happened What's our backdrop I was the trash You threw it out

I would have took it It went off And there was a girl peeing in the street Oh sorry My wife's calling Is that your wife Peeing in the street? Yeah

What's your screen saver What is she doing? She's at a part Right of she's dancing Oh it doesn't look She's taking a piss I guess. That's our wedding. But she's pulling up a dress.

You remember my wedding, right? What do you have an Albanian wedding? Pull your dress up now. Show my father, Yacucci. He has to inspect it before. It does look like that because of the... Let me see. So you threw away all the bone to pick stuff? I just threw away the backdrop because I needed space. You didn't need space. What space? He didn't take up space. You could have fucking... It's sad.

We could have had that. I would have took it. I still have some of the panels. How many? banged up ones that were already like too much gloat. and stuff on them. They wouldn't have made it off. They wouldn't have survived. Mike, the day we said we're done, Mike, I guarantee it had empanadas, a chicken

They had a big party at the studio. He just burned the computer that had all the bones in it. Yeah, he just threw it up with him. He fucked the skull. He fucked Brenda. Where's Brenda? Brenda still exists. He spiked Brenda.

All right, well, let's get to the bottom of this. Yeah. Let's get to the bottom. Let's get to the bottom of this. No, not the bones yet. Mike, we first started the podcast. Mm-hmm. in your little studio up on 50-something.

The tiny one. The tiny one. Oh, wow. And we had a bone, the first bone. Mm-hmm. Remember that? Yeah. And then the bone went missing.

Oh, Bobby's got theories. Oh. What happened? Now, be honest. Listen, let me tell you something. We moved to a thing. I don't know where it is. That's Milwaukee.

Can I say Malaki? Malaki. It's almost, sounds racist, but... All right. So somehow when it's not a harder, it sounds more racist. It's...

Bologi... No. What? That sounds fucking worse. It's... Smoking Joe. No? All right. Listen... How about this? It's suspicious. It's suspicious. Here's the thing.

Let's go over this real quick. We have the bone. We have the studio. He moves studios down the hall. And then he says he can't find the bone. Oh, wow. Yes. How do you, how do you?

The original humor bone. The original humor bone that we had went missing. Oh, wait, didn't we have a theory that another show stole it? I think, that's possible. I think another show either stole it or smashed it or Mike got fucking angry and hit it and broke it. What happened to the bone, Mike? Be honest. It doesn't matter right now.

It doesn't matter. Look at me then. Don't look up at the sky to think of you lie. Oh, well, you know, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Bobby, the thing is. I don't know. I wish I had a great answer.

But also, we had, the Brenda is the fourth Brenda. Why? Because they break. Why do they break? Because I'm doing 15 shows. I'm moving it around. It falls off a thing. It cracks.

So he lied about some Brenda. And I found an old Brenda that was cracked the smithering. Why was it cracked? That one I smashed in the ground. Why? Why? You guys? Why?

For what? Prep for something. You were mad at us? I think I was mad when I heard about Paul's best. I smashed the bread of two when I had that. I'm telling you right now, he broke the first bone. Something happened. You guys got a couple of wet chicken sandwiches when I was mad one day.

What? No. Oh, he pissed on him. Vacation. Right? No, I don't know. I don't know what happened to the bone. But then I bought three new bones.

And then it's not like I got rid of a bone and then replaced it with a The accountant comes back to us, we bought those bones. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I wouldn't spend my money. This cocksucker really, for somebody who doesn't like that, he really knows how to add up those. Yeah, that big heavy one was 79.95, we're going to find out. I did buy, I had to buy a whole, like, femur section in Atlanta at the, at the, at the

Red Clife Fest. Right, yeah. I didn't, because the bone didn't make it down with me. So I had to go buy a whole fee thing. That I bought on my own because that was my fault. Irresponsible bone holder, Mike was. Yeah. He's fucking air.

It's responsible. Yeah. You're calling me gay. You gay. I still have all the bones. I still have the bone mantle. I still have all that stuff. It was just the back of the back.

We left, listen, we left that show. We left like it was Detroit. It was the Great White Flight. But we also left the door open like Sopranos. You never know. I told you from the beginning. I'm down to do it. I just have to do it where I'm less, less, I don't know, what's the word?

I'm looking for work. The only way we be able to do that show again, is if it was a scheduled every fucking, we come in, we do all these things, and it's only twice a month. Twice a week. Twice a month.

Why can't we do it here? Now look me in the eyes. Because I don't like you. Because you fucking stole the boat. That's why. We're going to do it upstate. Where? We're going to do it up in a woods.

What is upstate? What do you mean? We're going to write the... The campsite? No. Where we live? It's not upstate. It's Westchester.

You live in the woods. Okay. You have 10 minutes from me. Not 15. 20. 25. It's actually 100% 18. It's 100% 18.

Now, why do you lie about where you live? Yeah, always. Why? Because it's too far. But here's the deal. Can you be honest with me? You promise you going to be honest? Yeah.

When you moved to where you are, you start lying to it. You start telling people it was a little shorter. Immediately. Yeah. I lied yesterday. Somebody said, how long does it take to get home? I said 38 minutes. Yeah.

It's a full 58. I've been telling people 57 minutes. Why do we lie? Why do people that live in West? You don't want anybody up there? No. No. You don't want people to go, yeah, but they're all.

It's almost like we live in such a great place. We still want it to act like it's, it was worth it. You know, we don't want any. Oh, yeah, but they're like an hour 20. Like, you know, because we live in the best place. We live in an amazing place. We live in an amazing place, but I think we lie because we don't want people to not want to come up when we ask them to come up. Yeah.

Or like, we don't want people to come up. want them to think, oh, they're all the way in the sticks. Yeah, we don't want to hear that. We don't want that. Because that's in our head, it's like we gave up the city. You left New York. Yeah, we, what? That's what I'm saying. No, one time I had, one time I had, one time I had Ari. See, look, this is

why, because you get offended. Yeah. At nothing. Yeah. You left New York, huh? Oh, I guess I did. Yeah. I don't like the way you said it. You stole the bone. You broke it one day. We left. No, I had Bartnick. That bone is unbreakable. I had Bartnick, Ari Shafir, and I think somebody else in the car, and I told them it's 50 minutes under an hour and I started speeding

with them with a cop there and they just started laughing they go verzi we believe you and I had to get there and under an hour I was speeding they were just laughing I had big Jay up I think the last Christmas of Thanksgiving and he got up and he goes dude what the fuck you lied this is fucking in the middle of nowhere I told them 35 minutes yeah but also they're all jealous because they live in shitty Jersey or this

dump no well Jay moved to a nice place sorry Mike yeah you live in a great place where are you in Brooklyn 600 square feet in a story? A story is great. That's small than your camper. 690. I got another one for you.

What? How many years we do bone to pick? Three. Three. How many July 4th was that? Three. Okay. Yeah.

How many did you get invited to? There you go. You never invited him up to the party? Not one. You fucking piece of shit. Not one part. Hey, you two. You've had parties.

Not for nothing. Wait a minute, though. But Mike. I haven't had parties. I haven't had parties. You have a party three years? Nope. Okay, thank you.

Three years, not having a party. What's it? I have not had a party in three years. No. I used to have awesome parties. I was the party starter. I'm the one who I started the party thing. I was doing my party before we met.

No. Well, yeah. No. So hold on. You think I started my fourth party with my neighbors and wife because of you. Bing, I'm going to prove you wrong. When I started to have my parties at Biltem Road, you were in Mount Kiscoe at a fuck.

fucking townhouse. Nobody's having a party at a shared backyard. Okay, but I didn't. I started having a purse because of you. You didn't not have. You know what? Anytime you do something and then somebody else does it, you think you started it.

That's, you think. Tell me what I started. If somebody bought a, if I bought a black jacket like this, dude, I was the first one to get a fucking black jean jacket. That's what you would do. That's what he's got the one with a red button. Yeah, I was the first one to do this. I was the first one to do this.

I was the first one. But Mike, real quick. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. no, no, no, no. Well, he called me out. I'm going to call you out, though. What? Because I can't get called that from both directions.

I'm not pulling me out because I'm sad about it. But you, no, but Mikey, you also would be like, hey, and you know this, you better fucking agree with this. Mikey would go, oh, dude, I'm going away for the weekend. I'm going to Atlanta. I'm going to roast a pig head in my fucking RV. You would always leave on the, you'd always be gone. You'd always have plans.

You'd always say, hey, we need to get this in because I'm going away. You were like an Ari Shafir light. Yeah, you would be like, hey, we're going up to the woods to roast a pighead, have a good weekend. We got to get Bonin before. And what does that sound like? This sound like to you a guy that likes to what? Hang out and have a good time. Yes. Knows how to cook. Can I say something? Can I say something sounds like a good party? Tushay. Tushay. Can I say something in Mike's defense? What? Fucking unbelievable. You've never invited him up. What? He's always been, he's always been gone. What? He's always been a nice guy who loves to bring up. No, he'd always be

going to home to Georgia or up in the woods. How do you know? How do you know? How do you know? You don't remember when he would go, guys, we got to get the summer in. No, no, no, no, you're just generalizing. You never invited him. You give him the invite. You get the invite. You never gave him the invite. Just tell him why. What do you mean? Why? Tell him what you told me.

What? What did I tell? He's a lie. What's this? What's this? I could do it too. Can I do it too? Fuck you. Bang. No, you can't. I just, I don't even know where they are. They're over there. Okay, they're over there. It's like the crying wall in Israel.

The 4th of July... Here we go. The 4th of July party started with our neighbors on the hill, and then I started to invite comedians. The last couple years, we did not do comedians. I did not, I don't go to that party anymore. Because... Because his fucking kids' friends

are assholes. They were young and assholes. They were fucking, everybody was a dickhead, took my kid, put him in a shed, locked them in, made fun of them, and we're treating poor Maxie like shit. And my wife, I see my wife walking up the hill with Maxie. And she goes, where at?

My wife, who never, we're out of here. I went, let's go, baby. What happened? Didn't you know what happened? My wife says we're out of here. She's pissed. Oh, my wife freaked out. My wife grabbed a little girl that did it because they were all running in the shed and they locked Macs. Oh, this actually happened? Yeah. Fucking shit. My wife lined

them up like, North Salem asshole. Dude, my wife lined them up like fucking Nazis did. That's a little too much. That's too much. No, it's not. I'm smiling when you said that. She lined she lined them up. She just walked. She just walked up to each of them. She goes, if you, we have a new friend here and you want to do that.

And I will not have you do that. And dude, this girl just like started breaking down. I wanted to go, Stace, you got to. And she's like, you go apologize. You will never do. They were just shaking. And they went and they apologized and it ended up being, it ended up being. Yeah, but it kind of, it ruined it.

They ruined it. You know, because his kids were friends with those kids. And they're going to be loyal to their friends. The neighbors came to. And his kids, I brought Max up one more time, but his kids older than my kid. And his daughter, daughter doesn't want to hang out with another boy. You know what I mean? So there's not a good mix.

And when neighbors see that again. And if the kids can't be together, you can't have, you can't be together. Right. That's why he's never invited me up again. No, no, no, no, I didn't invite you. I specifically told me. You said Max, you said Max. You said Max. You said that.

You said that. You think I said that. You said that. You said that a lot. You said that a lot. You said that when you came up here before Baba got here. He's an instigate? Wow.

Wow. Trying to be nice. Mike, you're upset in me. So you'd stop inviting us? I almost moved on his block. You did. There was a house. I would have lived on the same block as Janus and him.

All three of us. I was going to move on that block and I liked it. It was a weird house. It had like, it had a pool. It had a pool. a built-in pool. It had a nice big backyard. It all this weird little head of shed. Weird edges. It was a weird house. It was really

weird. And I wanted it. I was like, I don't like, I don't like it. And I was like, fuck, come on. We've been fucking friends. And then we had a garage. You went down this like, in the backyard it had like a road. It was weird. Had a road with a garage, like a some, one of those brick garages, those old school. I love it. Detach. And I was like, fucking

dude, I can make that a studio. I was, I was all in. And she said, no. Nope, we're not doing it. Isn't it something that the woman always just has the last word? Isn't it sickening? And it shouldn't even be. Why?

Because it's like, what are you doing? What is she doing? Well, your wife works. No, but it's like, what are you doing? Doesn't your wife work? My wife works from home? She has a good job. Yeah.

Yeah, my wife, it doesn't. I'm the breadwinner. So what does that mean? So that means I have the right to what you're saying, not you. No. No, you have a joint bank account. Yeah, well, you know. I have a bank account with BK on it.

I make more money now, so how about that? Well, I have to make more money because I pay for everyone. Okay. I'm the breadwinner. Yeah. So I'm the breadwinner? What does that mean? You're a slice of breadwinner.

What do you mean? Well, your wife gets one slice? You guys make, you guys make bread together. Yeah? I make the bread. Yeah, but that's your problem, not mine. that's your that's that's that's that's fucking tell her to get a job i don't know what they're like you know i mean i love don't tell her but either way i'm going like if i like a house

no but my wife did that too you know yeah but luckily it had problems it had problems what the one that she liked she loved it it was in somers and she said my dream is the little girl was to have a colonial like this right we went there it had everything right and then we went to the fucking the inspector came yeah it went in the basement yeah i did a bit on this. It smelled like mold and water. And the joke was she goes, I remember Jimmy Carr loved it. She goes, oh,

no, that's how my grandmother's basement used to smell like that. That's how all basements smell. I mean, your grandmother had water damage. Hey, your grandmother had fucking mold poisoning. Yeah, and the inspector came out. Your grandmother's eye was brave. That's where all of our grandmas were getting beat to death. Yeah, yeah.

He went home from servicing their vending machine. Your grandmother couldn't eat pork. Dude. She's a good lady. Allergate to red meat, though, turns out. It almost failed. It's like, the guy was, I was like, is this going to fail inspection?

He goes, this needs a lot. And I just started panicking, so I started looking. And that's when our town came up, which I won't mention, but it ended up working out. Well, I did mention it by accident, but your town is great. I do love your town. But I do love my town's great. My town's the shit. You know what you don't have?

What's it? A town. Right. I have a town. Yeah. You walk the town? Yeah. You can walk in, go groceries, do, do, do it?

little things, that's good. I can walk to the train. That's good. I can walk to the diner. I can walk to the L MNOP bakery. That's why I love my town. So you basically live it in New York. Well, no, I like having a town, but I do like Verzi because Verzi has space.

Verzi, Verzi's not land. Land. Which I like. Land that I've never seen. You don't want to go to these parties at Versi, the Fourth of July party anyways, because your life is their state. When you go to a Fourth of July with Verzi, your life, your dog's life,

your wife, your children, and the neighbors, everybody's fucking life is in danger. And he doesn't tell you that. He just says, dude, I got fireworks. This cuck sucker. Roman Candle sword fight. Dude, Roman Candle. Are you kidding me, dude?

I just remember sitting, trying to enjoy Fourth of July fireworks when I would just see Verzi run over to these, I would say cannon-like fucking he'd run over

with a big lighter no this year he had it set without it and then he would fucking light it and you'd see you'd see

and then he'd run and then he'd go out and he'd run back and he'd just be running and they were like ha look at that and then it goes up now mind you

there's trees everywhere there's neighbors the fireworks are going off landing on the neighbor's house it's what he does every year and it gets worse every year

no the last one was incredible. It was like somebody said it was close to like a barge on macy. It looked like it was insane. Well, I'm the kind of guy who hates one, fun, two fireworks, and I've never burnt the entire woods behind my neighborhood in Georgia because of fireworks. That's not me. I don't like doing things like that. I'm glad I never got that. Well, did you see you guys know, we're not doing it this year. He's being passive aggressive. I know. We're not doing it this year because my children are going to be in Europe. So we're going away. We're going to take the year off. And then when we do go big with comics, you both will be there. All right. Okay.

in my calendar right now. You're going to bring in those shit kids? Who? The fucking shit kids. Max will fucking kill them all now. Mac five years. That was nine years ago. Max will fucking murder.

Bobby, those kids are like going to college now. You'll find three college kids dead in your shit. I'll line up behind them. Knuckles in the dirt, ready. Yeah. Let's go. Those kids are going to have families. I love.

I'll have Max beat up their dads. Are we doing bones? We got bones. Listen, you guys. don't know the show Bohn to Pick. I don't know what you're fucking rock you're living on it, but me, Paul Verzi and Mikey, Big Head Mike. We had one of the funnest, one of the greatest podcasts, original podcast, people who's stealing our idea, doing our idea. It was everywhere and it seemed like it was everywhere

spontaneously. Yeah. It was very ubiquitous. Bone to pick podcast. Not to bring back the show, but that ain't a word. ubiquitous is a word What is it? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Obiguous is a word. How much you want to bet? I'm going to tell you.

Hold on, on, hold on. Hang on, on. He just asked if we want a bet. Hang on one second. Hang on. Mike, Mike, chill the fuck. I can't chill the fuck. Chill the fuck. He said money. Shut up.

What is it? Ubiguous? I'm sorry. One more time. Ubiguous. It means. Hang on one second. I don't know if my headphones are working.

Do it slow. Oh, God. I can't. I only have one ear in. Oh, yeah. What's funny is, when we did the show, these two's these two vocabulary is so bad

that when I would say something intelligent they would have to stop and they got confused it was like an animal in the wilderness that heard sound one more time is it was our intelligence ubiquitous okay great it basically means that similar things are happening simultaneously another words

when the mafia was happening in New York it was happening is there any way that you could be wrong in the way you're saying ubiquitous yeah how much money do you put down Do you know the word? Absolutely. I know the word you're trying to say. What is it?

Make them a bet. Make them a bet. What is it? Unbiguous? That's it. It's actually unbiguous. Ambiguous. I apologize.

Ambiguous. And what was I saying? ubiquitous? Unbiguous. Ubiguous. Ubiguous. Now now you guys are confusing me. Now you're saying ubiquitous.

You're being ubiquitous right now. No, now you're saying it wrong. What? Now you're saying it wrong. You said it wrong. You said it wrong. You said it wrong. You said it wrong.

What? Ambiguous. What? Mbiguous is the, Joe. fucking Danny. How do you pronounce it? Are we doing a bet first?

I feel like we should do a bet. Do a bet. Make a bet. You two just... You call me stupid. No, no, I didn't call you stupid, but I said you two would always do that when I said a big word.

Okay, so make a bet. How much? Hold on. This is why I never got to vote to the fourth of your blog party. You guys had just said it three times and confused me. That's actually your political views.

Umbiguous. Okay. What do you say? No, you just say nothing. You got to make a bet. bet. Okay. Are you right or wrong? How much? Make a bet. And I, what did I say before? Just make the bet. Whatever you said, every time it's been wrong.

Make the bet. Make the bet. Make the bet. Make the bet. Hold on. Hold on. I'm thinking. You brought up money. No, you brought up money. Make a bet. You said, I'll bet you money. And then I almost said, yeah, you brought it. No, you said, I'll bet you right now that I said it right. You're such a good. That's at a second bet. Let's add a second bet. Who said that? That's another voice. Danny, you could tell his fucking, I have fleming my mouth all the time. I'm not going to bet money, but I'm going to say that now I don't know if it's ambiguous or ubiquitous.

Well, here's the deal. Make a bet. I don't want to make a bet. Okay. Because I got confused. All right, so you didn't say it right. No, because I don't know if I said it right. You didn't. What's the word then?

I don't know. I didn't say it. We've gone so wrong that I don't even know which one's right at this point. Can you tell us the word, Danny? I'm going to say, I'm going to say. ubiquitous. Okay. Do you want to take a look at the screen?

I'm right. All right, let's hear it. How do you say it? Say it. No, ubiquitous. Say it. You're looking at it. Ubuitous.

Ubucuitous. Ubucutut. We'll say it again? Ubiquitous. And what did I say? Ubicuous. Unbiguous. It sounded like you said ridiculous.

Verzi. So it is ubiquitous. No. No, I don't say it now that you heard Cody say it. It's also no. You're missing the T. Ubiquitous. Ubiquitous.

Okay. This, I forgot. Ubigitous. But it is you, not an um. Correct. Okay, so that, okay. But you didn't say it right. Well, I thought the first time I said it, I said it right.

You didn't. Okay. So say you're wrong. Did you know the word? I don't say the big words. I use little ones. I go like this. It's all stuff.

I'll use it in a sentence. Go ahead. Hall's Fourth of July parties are ubiquitous for being a good time. Present, appearing, found everywhere. Anyway. Anyway. All right, listen. Anyways, before you get in another big word,

I'm having a good time. It's a good time. Paul. I miss Paul's. I forgot the tea. Shut up. This is the problem with Greeks and Guineas. They can never admit when they're wrong.

But now, you know, I'm so nuts that I'm going to go back to the show and listen to how I said it the first time. But you know you're wrong. Well, if I forgot the tea, I'm wrong. And I think I did. All right. We got bones from the fans. Are you ready? Yeah.

Absolutely. Let's give us some bones from the fans. We have a bone from anonymous dog dad. My bone is when your therapist tries to empower you and then being honest with people in your life backfires for a year until you realize she's a fucking idiot that didn't have things figured out. Oof.

That's actually such a bad bone because... That's a sad bone. Like the person that's supposed to be helping you. made you make life decisions against your friends and family. Yeah, he went home. Honey, I'm gay. What? My therapist told me to be honest, so I told somebody that I wanted to harm them.

And I love things in my bum. But don't tell the kids. Honey, I love you. I just got to tell you sometimes I really have an impulse to hurt you physically. Well, Sarah told me to say it. Honey, I love you so much. much, I killed your mother. I poisoned her with pumpkin pie.

You remember how the therapist said the dog was our problem? You're the dog? He's in the trash can. Honey, the therapist told me to be honest with myself, so I'm going to strangle you now when you sleep. Now my life is ruined. Honey, my therapist told me honestly, me and your brother fuck all this.

a time. Every holiday, we're fucking in the shed. Oh, dude. You're the other person. Yeah, that's a bone, dude. I think therapists should have to have, like, a picture of their home. Yeah. In, like, a live feed in their office, so we can see how they live.

Dude, somebody told me they were like, somebody told me they had a family with kids and they went to, like a, like a counselor, like a couple's counselor, and they didn't have a family. And the guy goes, you don't even have a fucking family. family the fuck am I paying you for like you're not even married or with kids and you're telling me like how to be a better partner dude yeah well a lot of therapists are clinical like they learn the shit it's bullshit and then you go like my guy who people give me shit for going to the Alan but he was a psycho from the east village with anger issues growing up so he's the perfect maniac for me you know what I mean like I yelled at him one day and he yelled back he's like don't

yell at me either and I was like I'll yell. We just yelling at each other. Then I just started laughing. Bobby's guy was Robin Williams from Goodwill Hunting. I will end you. I will end you. God, God, I'll be back next week.

There's shit's easy for me. Yeah, no, dude, because here's the thing. A lot of them were, fuck. Like, one lady that I talked to, she had child. She goes, yeah, I got my license because I had childhood trauma, too. And I looked at her eyes, and I was like, something's off. So she ghosted me, too. What about that therapy you went to where they fucking go deep into your soul?

Remember that? Yeah, that stopped. Why? You would tell me about it. I almost did it, you asshole. No, it's like it's supposed to be good, but it takes you back, dude. What, it take you back to? Well, no, it did.

We actually started. She goes, we're going to start with you with the happy ones. Really? So, like, you go back to, like, happy moments and relive that. And then after that, she's like, well, two of these sessions are going to be really, really hard and bad. and like Janice did it. He talked about it on Rogan where it's like, they took him back to like literally the worst time.

And like apparently you go there and you fuck. Yeah, it's a fuck. Is that the one where you lay down? No, you know, you just, they move your eyes. Like they want you to move. You could either like watch something or your eyes move and she just basically makes you go back to a moment and relive it. But you're, no, I asked if it was because I was like, I'm not doing,

you know, I'm not doing that. What? What? I said, I said nothing with spirits. Nothing with, listen, I said there's going to be no hypnotism. I need to be here. I said to her straight up, I looked at it.

I go, am I going to be conscious? Because I need to be conscious. I can't. I'm not going to wake up. One of my bad memories I got raped from a hypnotist in Vegas. And I ain't doing that again. He called me on stage at a comedy show.

No. I felt like a chicken for a month. I kept sucking a guy's dicks. A magician brought me on stage. I never came back fully normal. No, you know, it's one of those things where it's movement,

it's eye movement, and Janus did it. And a lot of people talk about it. A lot of people have said that it really has helped them. Why did you stop? The hardest part of your life you're going to go to. Okay. And you're going to fucking relive it.

All right. So you felt good stuff first. And it was like, I'm good. No, we stopped. We stopped. Why did you stop? Because we had like a two or three week break. Yeah.

And she was at a state and didn't want to do it anymore because of, why? Just because I don't know if, like, I'm not, I don't know if I could say, I'll tell you after. Why? There's like a state thing. Oh, you couldn't do it through? I think there. Oh, because she was over here. Yeah, yeah.

And you're there. and legally she can't work. I think like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Yeah. So, but everybody swears by it.

Yanna swears by it and it said it changed everything. All right. Yeah. Is that why he started to do, Marisi here again? Did he? I said. I'm back. I went to the bad place and now I'm here.

That was his drama. Holy shit. I love what she goes. Holy shit. Holy shit. I raped the Greek boy when I was younger. I was the Greek boy. That's a good bone because you don't realize who you're talking to.

We put these therapists on this like, oh, they're going to fuck and they know. They're going to fix me. And you're like, that person is going to be fucked. No, you got a fuck. Sorry. What? You never cover. I covered.

I covered. Cover. What else? We got more bones? Yeah. Let's do another bone. Same guy has another bone. Anonymous dog dad says,

new things requiring you to sign up and enter email addresses just to turn it the fuck on. You know what I don't like? I don't like when you go to a thing, you go to an app, and they go, hey, we just emailed you a pin code, come back and put the pin code in together. And it's like, we never had to do that before. I put my email and my password. So now you put my email password and they go, okay, a pin, a six digit pin was just sent to your email. Get that.

Now you got to go to your email. get the six digits and then come back. It's too much. Well, I think that, I mean, it's all because people have hacked shit. And AI shit. Put your stupid email in. I hate it if I may, you know, do a sidebone when you go to all these stores, like Best Buy and they're like, you, it's like put your email in. I'm like, I don't want to.

Well, you don't want to get. No, I don't want you having my email. and it's like, all right, okay? And they make you feel bad for not wanting to give them your information because I don't want to give, because you're going to take my email and sell it to fucking everybody.

And now everybody's going to, I'm going to get email about everything. I don't, I have, that's why you're going to have a fuck. I'm laughing because you're telling everyone to go to punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly and give you your email every. Well, that's because you want that.

You want to go to, Listen, if I want... Are you plugging? No, he plugged for me. Punchup.combe. That's different. That's why Danny's stupid. I'm saying I'm going in to buy a fucking iPhone case. I just want to pay for the iPhone case.

I'm not here for that. If you're going to my punchup. That's, Robert Kelly, you're actually putting... You want to know when I'm going to come back. And you get a Bobby Kelly phone case. That's a good idea. Oh, do that.

I don't know. I hate... I hate giving my... I have a fake. I have a fake email. I have not a fake one. I have an email that I don't give anybody. It's a clean email.

It's clean. You understand? So what do you do with it? I just have it. Just an empty email. What? There's no mail in it. For what?

I have a clean email. Just like open it up and it says zero. You're like, I did it. In case something goes down and I need a clean email. I got it. Dude, my wife gets stressed with you know how many emails I have in my, how many emails do you have unread right now? I got it.

How many, guess. There's no way you have more to mind. Just guess. How many you, okay, I'm going to say, unred? Yeah. I'm going to say you have 137 unred.

Okay, how many you got? Huh? I have 6,608. What the fuck? Yeah. Just, you know, I currently have 61,806. 20,000. 20,000 unread. I have

6,600 unread. You have how many, Bobby? I have 1800. He's got zero unread because he doesn't give anyone that email address. That one does. And I have an iPad that has nothing on it. But you want to know the other bone? Because when you buy something, when you buy something,

they tell you they're not going to send. You buy a pair of sneakers at Foot Locker or one of those places? Guess what? Come Christmas time, boom, boom, all this shit. Oh, discount. Oh, don't forget. Christmas a savings. I hate the one where they

discount. You want 50% off your first purchase? Give us your email. I'll buy it every now and again. And then as soon as you put that in and they have your email, they're like, now put your phone number in. Oh, that is. They get you.

Then they got your email and you're not doing the phone. And I'm not doing the phone, but they got my email. Buddy, I get phone calls all the time from doing, putting my number in once, because it was a good deal. And I put my number in. I get phone calls from people all the fucking time now. Yeah. About buying my land in New Hampshire.

I'm a doctor. they call me Dr. Smith. They call all the fucking time. Yeah. I went into Michael Coors and I got my wife. But you know what? Can I stop you real quick? Yeah. I have a phone.

What? With a number. That you never use? What's wrong with you? I got a house with no furnace. I got a family nobody knows about it. I got a family I visit. No.

I have a cat. We got a second dog that I didn't tell a family about. No, I went to Mike. I have a kid that nobody knows about it. Or that's different. I go to Mike. In case something happens to Max. I replace him with Larry.

I got a clone. No. I go to Michael Coors. I buy my wife a bag and I buy her some accessory thing. And I end up spending $700. And they go, they go. Can you, we have your phone number and email? And I said, I'm going to ask you a question.

If I give that to you, can you just, it's fine if you keep it. But you guys aren't going to call me and send emails. And she goes, no, I'll put notes to not do it, dude. I've been, I almost wanted to kill her. I wanted to find her. Yeah. Because the amount of shit that they did after I did that was fucking sickening.

Want to hear a hack I just found out? Go open your Gmail and then the URL at the very end, type slash unsub, and it'll show you a list of everything. And you unsubscribe. You go to the whole list. When you hear a hack, you get chloroform and you find where you get it. You don't say no. When you go, can get your email?

You go, no. You think they give a shit? I know somebody that got angry. Because I'm not giving you my number. I was like, Jesus. Well, we know that is, Bill Burr. No, dude. Get your number.

You call me and I got to deal with that for seven years. No. No. Like an abortion. What? You say abortion? All right. Mike, do you have any good bones?

Do you have any classic bones? from your thing, from our stuff? And like, did I remember? Yeah, look up a bone. No, I thought you were looking up bones. I was when you yelled at me for being on my phone. Well, I didn't know.

I'm sorry. I thought you were fucking telling. Well, do we have any more from Dan? We have my one? We have two more. I got two more, but let's see if you can find a good one. Go ahead.

This is from James. I'm tired of people saying we're trying for a baby. Planning for a kid, announcing a pregnancy, baby being born all of the above our find. But the phrase, we're trying for a baby is gross.

Figure out another way to say, instead of politely masking. I'm coming inside of my wife five times a day is fucking gross. Don't put that image in my head. Just stop texting me and you, just stop telling me about you and your wife's sex life. Just let me know you finally knock her up when the kid is actually alive and breathing.

There's a couple wives. I wouldn't mind them telling me more about it. You know what I mean? I don't mind when a guy's like, dude, I'm coming to my wife. That's nuts. No, that's, I agree with him on that. That's nuts. Yeah.

I like, you know, the only thing that's acceptable is if they're like, if they jokingly go, We're working on it. You know, something like that. But if you're just like, dude, you know, I'm throwing loads three times. It's not working. Dude, my jizz is orange.

It comes out like jello gelatin. I call myself to sniper. What? What? What's a sniper? What are you talking about? Two times, two kids. One shot, kill shots.

Yeah, what are you doing now? You retired? Again, I'm just, you know. Yeah, I'm retired. What do you do now? You don't use a rubber? Yeah. You got snipped?

No. Use a rubber? Never doing that. That's gross. Like sometimes I will, but no. Always put, but no, dude, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Why?

Because I'm just not. Why? Because my friend told me that it felt like somebody was flicking his balls for 45 minutes, and I'm not doing that. They're cutting your balls? First of all, I'm not a fucking cat or a dog. You're not neutering me because of that. I'm a fucking grub. You don't like Bob Barker?

And what happens if this? What happens if Dawn kicks you out? Wait, are you snipped already? No. Okay. Don't kicks you out or you find her with another man. Yeah. Right?

Why are you going to go that way? Okay. Why do you're going to do that? Sorry. I got the first one. You're right. You're right. Sorry.

I'm just saying something that would really make you look. Okay. Okay. You'd stay. You'd stay. What? You'd stay. What are you talking about?

You'd go like this. Maybe, you know, maybe I haven't been home enough. You'd give it a pass, I think. Well, you think I'd try to work it out with my wife? Yeah. If I caught her banging somebody? Yeah. I wouldn't even let her know I was in the room.

I'd just be watching from the... And then I'd sneak back out and I'd come home and she'd be showering and be like, how was your day? She'd be like, it was all right? She's trying to tell you she did it. And you were like, no, you didn't. You're fine. What are you doing?

You finally your wife's cheating on you. That means you want to go have more kids? No, no, no. What I'm saying is you find out you're way to... Yeah, I want to hear you dumb logic. Here's my logic. Okay. You ready?

Yeah. You find out something bad. You got to go. Do it to him. Okay, you got to go. All right. Okay, you find out. Right, it's overly.

How can you do me like that? Yeah. She had dinner without me. Now all of a sudden, Mikey Albanese gets a little, gets booked in a show. He starts making money. Get it reconnected.

What do you mean? You can get it reconnected. No, but it's not. Chances are. No, no, no. You? But my, the chance, wait, but stop what the chances are. You don't know the fucking odds on.

My father, my stepfather did it. Okay. He got them reconnected. Well, he got lucky. Didn't get lucky. The chances go down. How do you? know. Danny, you got it, you got that?

No, I'm not snipped. No, I mean, I mean, I mean, can you find out once you get a fucking, once you get New Jersey. Cody's looking up. You can get it unsnipped? But can I just do my hypothetical? My hypothetical is you find out your wife did

you dirty bad. Okay. Now you, you know, and you had a couple kids, whatever. Now you go back out into the world. Mikey Albanese gets a TV show you start making big money these hot models coming and she's like oh I want to have a kid you know what I mean now you still but if you got snipped because of your first wife that did you wrong now you can't I don't have kids so I wouldn't get it because I should have done it with you

because what if you got a model yeah that was 29 yeah right well that's creepy I'm done go go go what I mean yeah just go Paul describe this guy go ahead yeah he hot construction worker yeah no no he's a fireman. He's in a union? He was a fireman in the calendar. Does he wear Santa Claus long in the summer? He's in the calendar. I'm just kidding. You know what I mean? So.

Yes, vaccinations are generally reversible. They're always... Vycectomy is not vaccination. Yeah, you can reverse it, dude. Okay. You can reverse it. I thought the chances went down. Either way, dude. Get it, Don. Why do it? Okay. So now, Dawn does you wrong.

Wait, it says success. Success rates depend on fatures, like how much time has passed. 85% though. It's still good. Here's the thing. I'm not even talking about the new wife. What about the bitches you're going to cheat on with the new wife? You don't want to get them pregnant.

Well, no, but if you find... If you get a vasectomy now, Paul, you can... Who's your fucking... Who's your... They pass. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

If you get a vasectomy now, you can cheat and not have to worry about the pregnant. If you get a vasectomy now... Yeah, but I don't want to talk about... cheat. Okay. I'm just saying that when you, when you do. Who's your whole pass? Who's the one you want? Who's the celebrity? Who's Ryan Gossack? Okay. Honestly, same.

Get lost in those. Who would I, it's not somebody famous. What? It's just somebody I know. Mine's real. You know you've been married so long. When you're like, yeah, dude, it's Katie down the street. Mine's Liz.

I want to be able to cancel spots and not get yelled at. One of my all-time favorites is the Frank, an old-G boner, would say, he said, people that put the sign of the thing that the room is for. Eat, a sign, eat in the kitchen, wash in the wall, like those cute signs. Oh, those fucking, just the beach signs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in your home. I know.

Yeah, I hate that, like, family laughter and life. People that just think that home goods is a personality trait. Yeah, the home goods. Can I say something? Please. I did buy one of those. Can I say something? What?

I kind of like them. Is it because you forget? No, I just, I, you know, it just makes me feel. Honey, where do we eat? There's a sign. Take it a shit. No, not those. I tell you the one I like.

No, not those. When you sprinkle, when you, if you sprinkle one you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the CD. I bought one in my life for my sister as a thing. You had that in the bathroom at the studio? No. Oh. It said, please hold the handle all the way down. I just like the life's a beach, enjoy it.

It's shit like that. Why? I don't know. So cool. Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. No, those people should be harmed. I'm talking about, I'm talking about like, put your feet up. Like the ones where, you know what I mean?

No, what? Is it the sign of the end of your chair? Your toes in the sand, relax. What? No. You know what I mean? That's not a say what? No, but like, you know, you stare out in the ocean and dream.

That's not a thing. There was only one set of footprint. Like live, laugh, love type things? Yeah, like, but, like, yeah, like when you see a surfboard. Honey, look outside. Isn't it pretty? Berzzi just has sayings he said. It's rainy out today.

Why do you have a sign over the kitchen and says, You ambiguous? I missed a tea. All right, give me another one. The last one we have is from high slices. I have a bone with parents that know their kids are nightmares and still let them run around the grocery store. Keep them at home.

Or let them walk kids and sheds. My kid was a good kid. I'm telling you. All you wanted was friends that day. He seemed like a nice kid. Those kids were shit kids. I can't. I can't deny that they, a couple of them were bad.

But you know what it is? Kids are good, some aren't. Is it liberal parents, do you think more? Whoa. Say it. No, is it? No, is it? Hey, you're not on Bonda Pick now.

I know. You can be whoever you want. No, my question is this. Do you think overly liberal parents are the ones that don't discipline? So if the kids add a line, they kind of have to let them be their self. Hold on, hold on. Whereas a conservative parent's like, I'm not going to beat them. I'll fucking murder you.

No, no, no, I'm not going to beat him, but you know what I mean? Is that a thing or no? Do you think that's a thing or no? Well, let me ask you a question. This is a direct correlation here. The kids that lock Max in the shed, do you think their parents are liberal or not? Up in your neighborhood and your area? I think I would say maybe more, yeah.

You think so? Maybe. I mean, they are my neighbors. No. He lives in a very liberal white neighbors. No, what I'm saying is... They have horses. that's liberal.

Horses? How much it costs to have a horse? No, but I don't even mean like... You say liberals are rich? Dude, in New York, if you have a horse, you're liberal. I shouldn't even have said liberal. In Texas, you're not. I shouldn't have said liberal, like political.

These whole, like, the hippie, like, we want them to express themselves. Yeah, liberal. It's throwing fucking ice cubes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, we don't yell at our kids. That whole free where, like, somebody else is like,

get the fuck, are you nuts? As somebody else, you mean you? Dude, you heard me talk to my I said to my dog, what are you nuts? You heard me talk to my dog? Like, my dog knows. You know, yeah, he's right, though, dude. But it's the parents, dude.

Well, it's 100% the parents. You're letting the kid run around. You got to go, hey. Hey. Hey. Come here. Knock it the fuck off. I mean, yeah.

Hey. And what is he, a Cocker Spaniel? Come here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Let your kid run around like that as you, dude. Well, this, it's you.

It's me? It's me. It's not you. It's you. Me? It's the people. Okay, we'll say people. It's the parents.

Yeah, it's 100% the parents. And I would think that they're more, I would say they're more liberal than a Republican is going to, like that type of guy is going to be a little more heavy handed. A little more like, hey, a little more louder. The mom's going to be a little more louder and not want them to embarrass them. I would say a hippie-ish type of person is going to be like, oh, they're just being kids. They're expressing themselves.

Yeah. Don't yell at them. They're expressing. And it's like, no, man, teach the kids some fucking matters. Yeah, there's a place for that. And it's not a grocery store. You fucking shit parents. Now, that being said, I don't think you should hit a kid.

I don't. No, I don't either. You smack? You hit your kid or no? Never. No, me. No, no later. A little flip?

No. No. Nothing. No. Just emotional damage Especially now He might fight back Has he gotten to the point now

Where he could take you? No No Because I have I have I have stepfather rage That I can tap into What?

What does that mean? Max isn't your kid? No I have I have rage From my childhood That I can just tap into And use as a power When I want it

Like I When I can't open a jar I can take the jar I can take the jar and literally go, I'm not stupid! I will be somebody! Stop hitting my sister and my mom in front of me. What?

And then I can have strength. Bobby, you got to do that therapy, man. You got to do the MDR. You got to do that. Yeah, that's heavy. You wouldn't have to look at the screen too much. Left or right, cry. I'm already there.

Did you find one? Did you get one? No. That was the live, laugh, love stuff. Oh, okay. And then the paper towel dispensers, that was one of the first ones where the automatic paper towel dispensers that don't work. I feel bad for the fans because they don't have the outlet anymore.

There was a place that they could go and live. They usually had their phone in the car. I got a bone and they'd just be like this fucking dickhead in front of me. I feel like we were helping people with these moments in their life when they pulled into a parking lot or when their husband or wife was being a dickhead. What about when they were literally driving in a truck? That would be do it's literally driving. than in a truck and we saw

we saw before Mikey would hit play the rage that was coming and then they would feel better. Well, there's it thing. You know? Well, we said let's go to the Patreon for a minute and if it blows the fuck up, maybe we'll stay. You know what I mean? But it didn't. I know, but, you know, I'm not going to say.

I'm not going to say, but I know where we went wrong. Where? What? Where? You know, we could talk about it. No. No. It's okay if it's me. No, it's not. Where What is it? But we'll talk about it off. Why? You want to talk about it now? Yeah.

All right, we'll talk about it now. Go. You want to know the real fucking... Yes. Okay. Yeah. The real truth is this. Paul's gay.

The reason why bone to pick is... Why would that... That would be a good reason. No, it wouldn't? If you were gay... If you were gay, would you be like, I'm gay, let's not do a podcast? Well, I'd be like if I was attracted to either one of you and I couldn't take it anymore. Well, guys, I hate to break it to you, but if I was gay, it'd be neither of you.

What the fuck? Which who inheres first? What? If you could go with me a... Mike, which one would you pick? Death. No, there's no death. It's me.

You got to pick me or Mike. No. I'll protect you. I would take a, if it was between. Hold my hand, tell me you don't feel safe. What are you? The rock at the rose? Come up.

Listen to me. If you could be with one of us. If you had to, gun to your head. So you guys are deflecting the real reason. You have a gun to your head. Who would you be with? Me or Mike? The gun, I already said it.

Thank you, Mike. I said I'm taking a gun. No, the reason is that none, it's, not just Mike and it's not just you and it's not just me. All three of us collectively did not make that show a priority. We just didn't. We did it and this is my, this is my real feelings. We did it where it's like, hey guys, we got to get four in. Let's come on. We could do it this day. It wasn't like production meetings. It wasn't what can we do better? It wasn't, what are other shows doing to get them over the top? Should we do the same thing? It wasn't that. It was also. So it was Mike.

Can I add to that? But listen, I'll put myself, but I'll put myself to like, I'm not. Where I would be like... Well, I would be like... But we didn't like... When I see what the RU garbage guys do, when I see what history Aeneas do, those guys fucking every week, they go in, like, they go in on Monday,

they shoot two on Tuesday, Wednesday they do some shit, and then the next week where we were like, all right, I'll see you on the 8th and the 26th. Get the bones. That's really the truth. I'll change one word. Yeah.

Couldn't go all in. Okay. Not didn't. Okay. Well... Okay. But that's still, whether couldn't or didn't, It's still the reason.

Oh, yeah, 100%. But I think it's unfair for you and for everyone to say didn't when it's couldn't. Okay. Because you're right. Yeah, Mike couldn't. Our producer could. No, but that's really... For me, I would say wouldn't.

If Mike didn't start a business and all he had was our show, he would have put... Because Mike is a talented producer. He's a funny comedian, got the show. We needed to be... We wanted a show that we could roll in and be told. what to do. We wanted to be talent. That's it. We wanted a producer that had ideas and blah, blah, blah, and what about, and we would have done whatever we were told to do when we were told to do it. But Mike, life change, married, business, didn't have time to be that type of producer. And we,

it all goes down on him with, you know, we wanted to roll. We wanted to roll. in because we I'm away every week I'm a fucking I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a comic this is my my money comes from doing shows and then I have the bonfire I have these other shows that make me money that I have to do but rolling into that it was fucking awesome to do if I could roll in and do what I do which is the show right we got the producer same as me yeah to produce the show but he couldn't do it anymore because he got a bigger venture that was actually making

him a real living. Why didn't have the five other shows? No, he made the money where I could focus on it. And that's the unfortunate. Yeah, that's, that's, it's not you, it's not me, it's him. It's 100%. And I don't mean that in a bad way because

he created a business that he had to take care of that was actually working. How do you tell somebody to go, hey, come over here and focus all on this. If I had money, if I was just like a rich kid, I would. Of course I would. But if we were making money.

Right, exactly. If that thing took off at some point where he was making really good money, he could have hired somebody to do the other stuff and focused in on our shit. And we would have been able to maybe eliminate some of the other things like this. I would dump the show

in two seconds. You know what, dude? I'm gone. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. No. But it's, it's, it's, we needed a production company like a, like a your mom's house. Or, um, like Will Farrell's company. Or all things comedy. Mainly Will Farrell's company to get us going.

No. Look, three years, nothing to shy about. We had, I had the best time. Nothing. I told you this from day one. No, it was great. Best time I ever had doing any of this was sitting in that room and doing the show. Yeah, we had a lot of fun.

Yeah. And I missed that. It was hard getting into the show sometimes, getting it down. But once we got in that room, it was all, it was, we never had a bad show. No, and all the comments of the show being good is, we're all the same. When we're on the same page, it was unreal. Basically what we're saying is, if you guys want the show back, pay the fucking, no. And the thing is, we needed the fans to spread the word.

You know what I mean? And it was happening, but not happening fast enough. We needed people to really take our content and spread it every. I think also too we probably did need a podcast network behind us something that we could get us a machine because marketing yes we needed a machine a marketing machine like if a ad's eye heart or your mom's house or somebody big was like we're gonna fucking make you guys famous we're gonna give you you just show the we probably would have had a shot because the the if you look at it it's a brand new fan base we created moms

kids dads they could all listen to it we would never that bad. We never got into politics. We skirted issues. It was a really family-oriented show. And it was fan base. All the fans made that show. And that wasn't the original thing. It was just me and you. But the fans took it over. Yep. So who knows? Maybe someday we'll go back. We'll do another episode. Maybe we do another episode. Just for shits and giggles every once in a while. We go back in, we wail them out, and we get it going. You know what I mean? I got some ideas. I don't

think we're dead yet. As they say, don't write the obituary just yet. Is that on your kitchen wall? No. Is that in your office? No, you want to know what it is? It was when Eli Manning got benched one week and John Marriss said that. He goes, don't write his obituary just yet.

And then he came back. I thought it was pretty cool. Whatever. So I used it now. Fucking giant suck. How about the? Whatever. All right, well, listen.

What do you guys got? Let's get to the plug. When's this puppy coming out? Next week. Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. What do you got?

Can't come out tomorrow? No. What do you got to? We're live right now. We're live. Oh, I'm going to be in Rosemont, guys. This weekend I'm going to be in Rosemont, Zanis. No offense to downtown Chicago, but Rosemont's my favorite Zanis.

Is it? It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. That's more my speed. Less seats. More of a rectangle.

20 minutes outside of Chicago. I'm going to be at Rosemont Zanis. This Friday, the 29th and Saturday, the 30th. Then, guys, I'm going to be, where am I going? Oh, for the New York Laugh Fest, me and Brett Ernst are co-headlining the new stand, the grand opening of the new stand west on June 5th. Where is that? The stand is opening a new location on the west side. What side of what?

West side of town. Of York? Yeah. It's called the Stan West. We're doing it opening week for the fest on June the 5th. Then the 12th and 13th, Uncle Vinnie's. Then I'll be in Potsetown, the 18th, 19th, and 20th. Hartford, Funny Bone,

and then I'm going to Toledo in Cincinnati at the end of the month. Go to Paul Furzee.com for all dates. Ooh, you know what we just added? Your neck of the woods. September 10th, laugh Boston at the Weston. Oh, that's great.

So I'll be doing that. Yeah, and please subscribe to my YouTube channel. And, yeah, Paul's best. No, I'm not going to feel bad for some. Paul's best. You guys made me feel bad about it. I just feel bad about it. I just feel bad that you left us in the dust.

Tell you this. This was Paul's best. What was your best, too? Yeah, you got nothing. All right, go ahead, Mikey. I got nothing right now. I'm in the summer. I'm doing nothing.

But in the fall, I'll be in Tempe, Vegas, a couple times, Pittsburgh, a couple places coming up. All right, make sure you go to his web, Big Man, Mike, at Big Man Mike. And I'm going to be, of course, governors on June 19th and the 20th, July, third, fourth, and fifth.

I'm at the mothership. Danny's going to be with me because he bothered me. a lot. I mean a lot. And then July 25th, I've got two shows. Every summer, I either go to Maine or I go to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. And this year, it's Port Smith, New Hampshire. At the Music Hall Lounge, I got a 6 o'clock show and an 830 show. So make sure you check that out. That's July 25th. And then September, I'm in Saratoga. There's a new club up there I'm doing. And then I'm doing September 26th, the Brooklyn Improv. They got a new improv.

in Brooklyn, and I'm doing it one night, seven o'clock, and yes, Joe and Danny and Cody. I'll see if I can get one of you go twice. They're going to bug me for that. But one of you guys on there, too. And then, of course, I'm going to be, I'm all over the place. Go to punchup.com live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. Danny, what are you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff, and I'm going to be headlining artisanal

Brew Works in Saratoga, New York on June 13th, and Sunshine City Comedy Club in St. Pete, Florida, August 14th and 15th. Cody, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Cody the comic and come to my show at New York Comedy Club and Stanford on June 28th. Hey, Joe Russell, go to Instagram and type in jokes, Russell.

Give me a follow. Thanks. You're right, Paul. Yeah, what's wrong? I didn't know many voices I was hearing. I had the best time on Jonah's wife's podcast, eating cheese. Never been invited. Never been invited.

Great show. Well, I went to Verzi's, Fucking barbecue. That's a good point. All right. All right. You guys are the best fans. We're going to Patreon right now.

So if you want to ask a question to my guests, all you have to do is go to Patreon. com slash Robert Kelly become a member over there. You support the show. And you get to ask you questions and they answer them right here on the show. That's what we're going right now. And go to YouTube. com slash Robert Kelly. What is it?

Right? No, what is it? Robert Kelly Comedy. Robert Kelly Comedy. Make sure you go check out there. And if you're watching us on YouTube. make sure you hit the click the like and subscribe and get in those comments for us and support all of us and everything we do if you guys had a fun show you guys are the best we'll see you next time on you know what

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