Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #649 | Matt Lopes, Marcus Monroe, & Leyla Ingalls

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Things get heated this week on YKWD when Bobby gets mad at Matt Lopes. Almost as soon as they make up things get super awkward when one of Bobbys fans makes Leyla uncomfortable. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/For free shipping on your order & 365-day returns go to https://www.Quince.com/ykwdDownload Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/y0k6ofda#CashAppPod.Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school back in the day where it all started. People's fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the original. What's up, everybody? It's me.

Robbie K. Bobby with an eye. Bobby. You know what news? It's you know what, dude Are you fucking up my intro? It's how comfortable you are? You call that an intro.

It was about to be a fucking intro. This is the problem. This is the problem with the youth. You weren't getting to it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was a TikTok fast. There you go.

It wasn't 20 seconds or less. Flip it. You need a fucking hook. We got a great show tonight. Two of my guests that I've had on a bunch of times who I love and a brand new guest that's never been on. But for her coming in, gonna love her too.

I feel like she's very adorable and she has body do. I do. Thanks for touching it. Ooh. Now I'm in trouble. I have a wife. No, I gave it to you. I'm sorry. That's even worse.

I forced it. I paid for it. I saw the whole thing. Comedian Robert Kelly touches girls do. Danny, who do we got? We have Matt Lopes and Marcus Monroe from the boyfriend podcast. Yeah.

Oh, you bonding sucks. Our bonding's pretty good It's really good We're close We're very close And from Kiotony Layla Ingalls Yeah

Thank you Thank you I have the least amount of followers here That's okay It's not a contest Well he's got a million You got a million and a half Well Matt has more than I do

Collectively Matt probably has like two million But it's TikTok You don't even know how much that costs It's worth it Well you got it from the Bobby bump Let's be the Bobby bump That is what happened I also

Five million on one clip And you got Bobby Bump. Yeah, right. The clip went nuts. Did it really? Yeah, I went two nuts. I wasn't there for that. No one in the general space should know how my belly button smells.

Oh, buddy. That clip went to the point where I was like, maybe we should take this. This might not be going well for him at some point. I'm happy that it came out. I'm happy. Someone came to a show and then brought me a little like cue tip for my belly button. Oh, they bought you a belly button cleaner? Yeah.

Was it like a, is there one that's in, vented to clean the belly button or was it just that one was really it was came in a nice small like can i can i can i tell you what my little my at my age what my little thing is that i like to do yeah really i go slow i get off on yeah what do you get off on tell me bobby i love cleaning my ears in the morning yeah oh oh i got to show you didn't know you didn't see no don't show what i got to show you but i got to show you and i pulled out of my ear the other day what did you pull a candle Oh, no, why did you have to bring this up? It's so bad.

Wait a minute. It's not safe for work. Wait a minute, was it like a moth? No. Was it some type of food that he slept on? It looked like peanut butter. Right. The amount just like coming out of my ears.

Let me see. Let me see. Hold on, hold on. Don't do this. We're not going to have another fucking clip. Matt, email it to me. What happened was you get, you always, I could take all the fucking time. It feels good.

And then, but I haven't been in like the pool for like three summers, you know? Because I don't know. I just haven't. And so I went in one day, or recently. Why did you, why did you talk to us like we threatened you? Matt, you know what? Matt, email it to me so we could pull up on the screen. I know how people get.

Email, I'm not pulling it. You can zoom into it when I show the video. We don't have a zoom. Just email it to Danny so we can see it. What's your bell about you call? Let me see. It's a story archive. You have to hold it down.

That was in my ears when I got out of the pool later that night. Bobby, show the people. I will show the people. Later that night, that came. out of my ears when I was sitting on the toilet, because I like to do it when I'm on the toilet. Do you sniff it? Listen. I did not sniff it, no.

Dude, why would you have been interested? Did you save it at least? No, I threw it away. Dude, let me tell you something right now. This is the grossest thing I've ever seen. So much. But I, dude, if I had pulled this out of my ear, I would have been hard. I would have been hard.

You just, you take it out, and then it looks like that, and it's like, what the fuck? Why do I feel that? I don't even. I don't even. I see it again. So much. Looks like I dipped the Q-Tip and peanut butter. It looks like I did. It's like you're going to put raisins on that.

Danny, I sent it to you. Your Instagram. That was not that. Can you just show it to camera? Yeah, sure. He was the A-S-Lagel. Crazy shit. People say you're not supposed to Q-Tip.

I don't give a fuck. I love it. They say you're not supposed to say, they say you're not supposed to, here, where's the camera right here? Can you zoom in? That's blown out. No, that was it, but it's just blown out.

We can't see. Hold on. It's a different thing now. Is that better? You got to go back to it. No, it's right there. Okay. You're fucking yelling at me.

It's blown out on camera. You're blown out. That's not normal. Like the average. Can you please send it to Danny? Don't let's send it to Danny. Buddy, man. Can I say something?

I don't care that you're not supposed to be there. I know you can you never put a Q-tip further than blah. I don't care if I go deaf. The feeling you get when you get something like, I've never gotten that. If I got that. You'd mean either. It's never happened.

I think it's a bunch of buildup Was it just one ear though? It was right? It was one. The other one didn't have anything. Well, the other one was disappointing, right? I was like, I can't wait to see the other side of this. And fucking nothing. It was crazy. What did Tina say?

I didn't show Tina. Hey, I know you guys. Can you do me favor though? Can you talk on the mics? Sorry, my bad. Sorry. Yeah, okay. Appreciate that.

Tina saw it on my story. We're not on a bus. Are you okay? I actually sent a photo to that to my sister who's a nurse. Okay. And she said it's just buildup. It's build up. It's buildup from not cleaning your ear, getting in there.

But that's a good technique. Wait for a while. No, I wasn't waiting. I wasn't waiting. IQ tip all the fucking time. Have you ever coned your ears? No, what is coning? Okay, dude.

I'm going to send you down a fucking new way of doing this. Oh, dude, the coning with the fire? You put that, you, this cold. It's Chinese. Yeah, I've done this. You put a cone in your ear. It's like this long. You put it in your, you put your head on the table.

someone lights the cone on fire. I know, it's dangerous. It's a torture method. No, it works. It creates a vacuum and it will suck all the shit out of your ear. Look at that. And then you unpeal it, dude.

I did it once. I had almost a full crayon. Looks like you're putting a joint in your ear. Oh, no. That's safe? Yeah, it's totally safe. Well, I mean, I don't know. It's Chinese stuff.

I don't think you should be putting liquid like that in your fucking ear. It's not liquid. It's a cone. It's wax. Is it not wax going into your ear? You pull it out like Shrek? What it does is it forms

a vacuum and sucks the wax in your ear out. Show a video of after coning. Show after coning what it looks like, dude. Aftercone. It's so dude, I swear to God, I did it. I did it to my grandfather once. You know what came out of,

dude, stuff from World War II came out of it. Wow. It was like a Nazi pendant in his ear. It was it's so good, dude. And your ear, if you're getting that out of a cutip, coning, you'll get a full candle out of your ear. Dude, I would I would try that if you guys ever, if anybody

I've done it before. But it's like, I'm not going to go out of my way to go. Can we do it live on the show once? We'll do it tomorrow. Have you guys? Have you ever? Look at it. So when you peel the cone open at the end? Yeah. Look at all the stuff that's inside. What if you smoke that? Huh? You could smoke that. You could, you could actually put it in a sauce. Yeah. Nobody would know. What if you made a sauce with it? And the sauce was a hit.

Oh, yeah. What's the secret? We just had to have in the back of the restaurant conning his ears every day. Brilliant. Love that. I would, that would be fun. I like a theme restaurant, is all I'm saying. I do like a, I do like a theme restaurant. This restaurant's called Ogre.

It's got a big sweaty in the back. Have you ever cylindered your eyeballs? No, what is that? I don't like things by my eyes. No, I just made up a shape and a body part. What is this, Bobby? Is this your towel? Oh, you don't know the show, do you?

I know that I've been on the show four times. This is the bomb bandana. And when you have a dud on the show, show. Yeah. It used to be a little more heated with Joe, Dan, Lewis and the interns. It was a little more mean-spirited show. And when you, everybody

would try to get a laugh in and when you had a dud, which happened a lot. Yeah. You get that thrown. You have to put it on your mic so we know who the last bomb was. That's fun. I like that. This is actually the original one. There's so much shit, Dan, I've never washed it. It's so, I mean,

it used to be. You should make a song. You should make a song. Body do. Body do. Everybody's got body do. Keep going. You're like a little beverage.

Body do. Body do. Mine smells. How about you? Body do. Matt has one. It smells like poo. We only smelled my belly bun.

I never got to smell yours. That's fucked. Yeah. My smell like common depression. So, okay. He's like, I know what that smells like. Who are you? Who are you to gag at my belly button if yours smells the same fucking way?

Buddy, first of all, you did it. I didn't. How did your belly button like a quarter? You can mix a cake in it. Wow. It's like a slit. And I got a regular ass nipple too. I got a very regular nipple.

What do you mean? I just did a hair re-zad and everybody was like, whoa, I expect his nipple to be so much bigger. You don't have a regular nipple. I got a regular, it's a small-ass nipple on a big-ass boy. I'll show you my nipple. This is crazy. Every time I come on this show you, You guys want to see shit.

Because you're a spectacle. We're very specific kind of man. You have a lot of followers because of your spectacleness. Dude, I throw it on my story. I was like, who's ready to see my nipple today? Because I knew the ad was coming out. All the gays flooded my DM. You have a lot of gays.

Me, apparently. Really? You don't know until you start threatening a nipple. I got no gays. I feel like if I was into men, Maddie would be the type of guy, because you have The type of guy, because you can just, you can just cuddle up next to you. Really?

You're cuddly. Wait, so why is it different from men and women with you? I feel like if I was attracted to women, a specific way, no, because you don't like bigger women. Well, you like bigger men? Well, I think, I know, I think I like you, like, like. Is it because of my, only my body or though because you know who I am as well? See, it could be part of that. So you're in love with them?

Well, yeah. Yeah, me and Marcus are in love. We have, we've, we've, we've, we're close. What do you mean? Well, we're, we, we, we, totally. We're together and say anything else. Keep going. Keep going.

What else if you, look at me, look at me, look at me. Don't say anything else. What else have you done? Bobby doesn't need to know what we will. Sketches. Yeah, what kind of role play? Like, courtroom sketches? Yeah.

I'm getting it. We like the guys. We draw each other naked. You drive in the car. You guys do naked charcoal drawings on the road? Dude, how sick would that be? Have you seen me naked? Almost.

No. Yeah. I've seen the dick print. I've seen the dick print in a costume once. Yeah. The dick prince was in a costume, right? Probably. Yeah. Well, you did the shroud of your dick.

Probably. I was probably wearing a costume. You know, those cheap ones, you can see the outline. Pretty good. We did that, the red guy from the Smiling Friends show. Yeah, that for Halloween. That's right. That's right.

You get a little hang on it. What does that mean? What does that mean? Give them the fucking rag. The hang. I'm saying, you don't know this because you just doesn't hang. Yo, it doesn't hang. Yeah, I know that.

If I took my, you wouldn't see it. I know. I know. You wouldn't see it. We mistake it for your belly button. Don't fucking do that. I'm sorry. I thought about Pinocchio's little nose.

Before he lied. I'm such a truthful boy. He's never lied. Why his dick's so small? What do you want to keep? Do you want to have a big hog or do you want to... What I'm saying is that you have... I would imagine yours has a nice hang to it.

I don't know what that means. It's good. Like when your dick hangs down a little bit. Oh, yeah. I think he pops over his balls in. Me and him got little mushrooms that go inside. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's got...

We have, like, snapping turtle heads. Yes, dude, yes, it is inside. Yes. It only comes out when it's hungry. Right, right, right. My foo is the show. It's fine. It's good.

It's no... My foop is the show. Yeah. Pretty good. No complaints. Yeah, I bet it would be nice. A little thin bastard. When I was in the bathroom, peeing, I had to put one hand on the wall so the other hand could

fucking dig in there to get it out and what to pee. Probably one of the grossest things I've ever heard. Let's roll the tape. Dig. I think this is the part Yeah, yeah. You got to... Like a claw game? I used to sit down, but then I was like, that's a really fat person thing to do. Yeah, sitting to pee.

So now what I do is as I bend over the toilet, like a little... Make it so you make it. My boyfriend, in the past, sat down to pee. They said it was because they grew up with women. They were taught to pee like that. All your boyfriends? Multiple boyfriends? I've only had two real boyfriends.

In your life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? I know I'm like... How old are you? 13? Yeah. Thank you.

No, I'm 28, losing stock. I'm about to be 28. I'm about to be 20. You are? September, yeah. Wow, I thought you were like. Oh, thanks. Oh, thank you.

I didn't even have to finish it. I didn't, I didn't even, I was going to say eight. I thought you were eight. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, great. How old did you think he was? No, I legit thought we were probably around the same age. You wouldn't think like early 30s or anything like that.

Maybe, maybe give or take one year, 29. The same age, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I could tell a buyer. Cool. Issues and body dues. Okay, hell yeah.

Body dues. The match. So your boyfriends told you that they, you caught them sitting, peeing down. I've seen it many times, but they said they do that when I was like, whoa, no way, you sit down too? They were like, yeah, or they taught us to do that my mom so we don't get pee on the seat and stuff.

Fuck them, mom. For living with women. What a shit mom. I don't pee. When I sit down on the toilet, though, I don't sit forward and pee down. I have to sit towards the tank and like, like, you pee dony stuff? Oh, like, you have. I mean reverse Calgary.

You face the toilet? Yeah, you gotta face the tank. I'm sorry. You face the tank. If you face the other way, there's a possibility that the pee comes out the middle of the seat. He doesn't, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So you face the toilet when you pee. You flushed it. Yeah, you face the toilet. Doesn't everybody? No, not when you sit. Oh, you're sitting. I'm sitting. Yeah.

Wait, is this, is this why? Do you do this all the time? Yeah, every time we go into a public bathroom together and I go into a stall, that's what I would do. Why? You do that studio? So then his plate with his food can be there. In the studio?

No, in the studio now, I stand up. But I stop for a second. I know you guys are pals. You're not listening at all. What would you say later? I don't know. I don't know him. I don't know if I can be me.

Yes. Of course you can. Okay. I said you like to sit like that so you can have a plate with your table. Very good. That's good. Okay.

I was kind of happy you didn't hear this episode. If I walked in and he was facing it, eating rice. Imagine I just went silent the rest of the episode. I know. I know. I don't know he's what I was afraid. Can I say something, Maddie?

Good idea. I've thought about it. I've had to eat while shit in before. No, I can't. I think that's very fat. I can't. If a skinny person did that, that'd be fine because that's like a fat thing,

but you're not fat. I can't bring food into a bathroom. Sometimes for fun, I'll take like a global liquid, and then peeve. So then I feel like it's all one street. Wow, that's very good. It's like that math.

It's like doing that math box back in school in and out machine everything should feel easy in the summertime bring that ease and comfort to your wardrobe with Quince everything from Quince is well made versatile and built

to last with daily essential special occasion outfits and everything in between Quince is a high quality at a price that makes sense I love Quince Quince's summer lineup is full of great stuff

organic cotton cashmere dress shirts commuter button downs and chinos to take you from the office to the bar plus sharp looking over shirts and blazers when you need to get a little fancy I love quince I'm gonna be honest I didn't think I was gonna like it when they came on as a sponsor and they like hey pick some stuff I did I love it the jacket I got the pants I got the shirt I got a sweater that's amazing quince it's so cool it's so nice it's so comfortable and like the ad says it's well made it's not just clothing. Quince is the place for all kinds of everyday and home essentials, expandable luggage, high-end furniture, and even organic supplements and vitamins. Quince even has 14-carat

gold jewelry, which makes a great gift for any guy, anybody, your wife, even your kid. I got my kid a really cool bracelet from Quince. Quince partners directly with ethical factories and top artisans. No middleman means you spend 50 to 60 percent. less than similar brands. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com slash YKWD for free shipping and 365 day return. Now available only Canada too. Go to QINCE.com slash YKWD for free shipping and 360 day returns.

Quince.com slash YKWD. For all the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control. Cash App is here to help make sure your teen's money and their spending isn't adding to that craziness. It's never too early for your kids to start saving. Small steps today can build strong habits for tomorrow. Cash App is now offering teen interest on savings.

So they can grow money faster all under your guidance. You can sponsor your teen on Cash App to set them up today. There's no hidden monthly fees and no minimum account balances. Teens can start with as little as $1 and grow from there without paying anything extra. You can also manage everything directly from your own cash app account without having to switch between the two, making it simple to stay connected to your teen's financial activity in a way that's both efficient and empowering. If you're ready to give your teen access to interest on savings, start by downloading Cash App and sponsoring their account today. For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code Family 10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days.

Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. banking services provided by Cash App, bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. Cash App Visa Debit Flex card issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC, and the BankCorp Bank N.A. Pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton Debit Flex card and Bank Corp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash a Block Inc brand.

Visit cash. dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosure. Very funny. Have you ever eaten while you were going to the bathroom? No, never. I don't think so.

Maybe an ice cream in the summer. Maybe an ice cream cone in the summer when I was eight. Well, who am I going to put the ice cream if I have to put it down to go to the bath? I love that away from no never to the worst thing ever. It's dripping on my thighs. No, I don't know.

When it's ice cream in a cone, you know, you're not going to put it down. Where are you going to put it? You can't. You're going to bring it with you. Yeah, you can wait. Maybe this table toilet thing is a good idea. It could be a cool thing. Yeah.

Sometimes they say don't trust a fart, you know, because it'll turn into a shit. Can I tell you that? Can I say something? Please. I'm sorry, I don't know you. But I do know you too. I'm going to be honest with you because you talk about being vulnerable. and you've been vulnerable on my show.

Safe space. Yesterday. Yesterday. All right. Well, you didn't have to fucking, wow. Well, I'm, keep going. It is the current problem. It's a current problem.

It's a one-time thing. I, um, I woke up. I woke up and I... No way. At your age? I just had Ryan Hamilton and Cyphus Sound. This is a much different show. Is it better or worse?

I woke up. I woke up and I had to, like, I have a sauna and I bought a new one and I was giving my own one and I was giving my own way so this guy came to, a friend of mine came to pick it up and I'm loading it in his truck and I wake up every day and I usually have a sip of coffee and then I immediately have to go to the bathroom. But my wife's been away for the weekend. I've been eating just like protein shakes and steak. Yeah.

Just terrible. No, it's a good. No, that sounds. It's good, but it's like protein and the shake. And then, you know, you need a little roughage in it. You need a little rice or a little something to bind stuff up. So I came in. Iceberg.

I came something. So I came in from the shed into the garage into the house. And I went, ooh. You know when you get that ooh? And I was like, I know. It's time. And I went, okay. All right.

I'm going to clinch it. Hold it. And I took a step. And I went, hmm. And then I was like, well, it's only 10 feet to my son's bathroom around a corner, 10 feet. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. And I got this yesterday. And I took another step.

Yesterday. And I did not have it. And then every, now, now I'm either going to just fill it and deal with it. Yeah. Or I'm going to try to make it. I'm going to make a mad dash for the board. You make the dash, Bobby. You make that dad.

I don't think I should, I think I should have just filled it. Oh. And dealt with it because I made it with every step. Every step. It just built up with every step? That's in little steps. And then I got to the bathroom and then when I finally, you know, it was like, okay, here I go. Nothing.

You did it all. It went everywhere. Oh, wow. You guys got to find new jobs. You're going to work for this man? And then actively shitting his pants? I, listen. It was, one time thing.

One time thing. It's been a long time since I did it. It's probably like a 1,000 time thing. We all shit our pants when we're a baby. So it's not the first time it's happened. Right. But you're returning to form. You understand that, right?

You have a TED talk you're giving? It's a one-time thing. I know we shit when we're a baby, but let me tell you some. You have a new TikTok thing you're doing. I, uh, so I. You're shit your pants. Because it was, when you shit your pants, it's usually one type of shit.

It's either, you know, regular poop or it's liquid poop, right? Like, you're sick. Yeah. This was both. Which was confusing to me because I've never had both. So I put, and it kind of was, I didn't know,

I panicked. Like a health. You can't panic. When you shit your pants, you got to just man up, go, sit, shit, clean. But I need a visual. What kind of underwear do you wear?

It's half milked ice cream. Thank God I was, Thank God I was wearing my true classic What's that? Boxer briefs Boxer briefs Which kept it Yeah Thank God true classic

You have shorts on then? I had shorts Because the worst No no no I had brand new Which I loved Athletic pants that I bought at Target That's the worst

And it was so nice and soft And I So I when I put And it kind of Just did a lot of stuff I panicked at that point Because I didn't understand It's never happened like this before

I've always kind of made it close enough to a little bit. This was nuts. And then I had to take everything off. Then I'd panic with the shoes because I just got put in new sneakers. I want to get on that. You're disgusting. Yeah.

Did it look like a Rorschach test? You're fucking disgusting. It looked. What happened? I drove an hour and a half from Connecticut to be. Yeah, you have belly button. Got 8 million views because it's gross as my asshole. Yours did too?

Yeah. So I made the mistake, too. Because I was, I panicked and I didn't, I should have just made up handled it. That's what happened. When you pull your pants and die, you just deal with it. You kill yourself. And I panicked. I called my wife.

It's crazy. You called her. I called her. I called my wife because I was like, uh, and I was like, she's like, what's wrong? I'm like, I just shit my pants. And she immediately just hung up on me. Yeah. What is she supposed to do?

How would you call her about that? I don't know. Fucking mud off. You call a buddy. You don't call your wife. I called Jane. He didn't pick up. Nobody picked up. You called Danny. You call Cody. You call me. I called Danny. He'd be like, film it. Film it. You should have filmed it.

Then you want another 8 million views? You film your shit. Filled pants. Buddy. Did you do the laundry? Did you put... Did you clean up? Your body's failing. I cleaned out. I was going to wipe my mouth of this. Maybe I should get skinny. Fuck.

I quit I didn't But I don't like poo I don't like it Yeah no one Who likes it? I know I have a friend Who used to pay for people

The shit on his chest Oh my God I don't think What? What? What? I'm talking about I'm talking about paying somebody

Is that what I'm thinking of? It's you know who it is Yeah Jesus You know it is He has the greatest We gotta get out of comedy Well I'm actually

I'm relating to this a lot I recently shat myself. I don't think it's that uncommon. Do tell. I was in Vancouver, Canada, and I was staying at an Airbnb, and I was there to visit a guy. I was going on a date with him later that day. Tell me you killed him. No, well, actually, the Airbnb was three floors,

and when I was on a walk, when the shitting happened, and then I was like, fuck, I had to go right back to the Airbnb. So I go back in, and then I go in the bathroom, and then, like you, it explodes everywhere. Oh, yeah. And then I had to clean it up with the utensils and everything that was there. Are you tenels? Like tombs?

Here's a fork in a spoon. You're taking it. I'm cutting it, I'm making it smaller. You used a spatula? Flipped it over. Pretended it was brilliant. Yours could flip. This podcast has not helped me and my self-esteem the images I'm trying to create.

Well, no, it's like girls do it too. That's great. You opened up with earlocks that was enough for a cow. I was relating to a subject that you brought up, and I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that. Oh, you did. I can't believe. Well, I want to know this podcast about show.

And yeah, we'll talk about it. He was coming to pick me up. I'm sorry. I want to just let you guys know right now this has not helped me and what I'm trying to do with my life. You shit facing the wall. But nobody needs to know that.

Well, they know it. Go ahead, darling. Oh, my God. Getting the rag. Go ahead, Lilah, talk so he doesn't have to. First of all, dickhead. Don't come in the rag. When you're gonna laugh.

It's a laugh. It was funny. It was funny. No, it's not up to you, fuck, because he forgot your name, Layla. It was a pity laugh. He had one of the pockets, he forgot your name. It's not true. And I'm gonna laugh.

You don't make the rules, you fucking losers. I'll fight everyone in this fucking room. You're gonna open it. Fuck you. Let me smell your belly button right now. No, fuck me smell it. No. Let me get back.

Let me get back at you. It's not happening. We'll make another clip. Get another clip. Let me do it. Not happening. Let me stop you. And then we'll be even.

We'll be even. Badi. Come on. I'm not. Five million. You're not a million. You don't know you want to do it, brother. I know what you're 5 mil.

Let me smell your belly back, and we will be even. Stop filibusted fuck face. Shut your mouth and let Darling talk. So you shat all over the apartment. Yeah, yeah. And then the first floor. Wait a minute. I want to go back to the utensils.

I just, I met cleaning supplies. I wasn't taking like fork and knife to my shit. Okay, okay. It was. That'd be hot. It's too liquidy. I would have needed a bowl. Yeah, yeah.

And a spoon? Like a boor? It would have been more like a soup bowl. But then the entire floor smelled. And I was like, oh no, he's going to be here in like an hour to pick me up. Oh my God, why? I'm supposed to look cute and it should smell good. If you open the door to a girl's house and it smelled like shit right away.

What would you think? She's not to put out immediately. You could blame the Airbnb, like the person before her probably shit all over the place. You just say they have a dog. He was there earlier that day. Didn't it smell like shit. Wait a minute. I know.

Slow down. So you cleaned up with the... Hobbies like say it's slower. They're not the utensils. The, uh, I hate you fucking fucking boned. Fucking, I fucking hate you to.

You fucking losers. It's a $10,000 shoe! Shut up, you fucking. You two fucking do a podcast together and I don't like you. There you go. Now you're wet, you piece of shit. Let fucking cutie talk.

Oh my God. What's your name, Bobby? What's her name? First and last. Right now, Bobby. This is the New York I was waiting for. I haven't been harassed all day. Look at me, precious.

Look at me. So you clean. Don't take that off. Oh, no. You don't have regular nipples. They're not for your body. They're nice and small. Oh, my God.

People have been telling me they're nice and small. God. Good. Can someone throw this in the dryer, please? I'm so jealous of your chest. He wanted me out of my shirt. He wanted me out of my shirt. I can't believe your shirt's off.

Oh, God. God damn it This is not me trying to be a specific comic This is just because there's water All over my shirt All right well you know what Continue please It's gonna cool you off

He did this and this is not sexual harassment Of any kind No I like it It's crazy Okay Can I say something I kinda like it too Stop

Why? I like it I like the men in my DM Whatever maybe I am in your DM I like the uh You have a really unique chest hair pattern. Yeah. It goes like, it's like a little smiley face. I never thought about it.

Yeah, it actually looks like an old Jewish lady. It does. It looks like Danny's mom disappointed. All right, I'm putting it back on. I'm putting it back on. All right. So you cleaned it. But what did you clean it up with? There was paper towels and then Clorox wipes. Okay.

There's two things we don't have here. We don't have paper towels or Clark's right. So I wiped the fuck out of it. And then I put all of that in a trash. bag, tied the trash bag, took it out into the dumpster. Oh my God, I threw them in the laundry. But guess what? They didn't have detergent.

They only had fabric softener. Oh, God. I had to wash it with just fabric softener. No, you can't. That doesn't wash it. That's for dryer. What was I supposed to do? It was my only option.

Other than throw it away. But I was in Vancouver for a certain amount of time, and I only brought a carry on. So I needed all my clothes. I did wear them again. I wore them again. With just being softened, I did. Did they smell? No, they smelled like, you know, like bounty.

They smell like down. It's a bounty shit? Yeah. So wait a minute. You clean the floor. You clean the whole thing like a murder scene. Yes. You throw your things in.

Did you have enough time before he showed up? No, I tried. There was one unscented candle in the fucking place. There was no Fabrese. There was nothing. So it just smelled like shit. You know why? Because they're not expecting people to shit in their Airbnb.

I know. It hadn't happened to me in probably like three days. It was so weird that I just shat me. What? I thought I was doing good, you know. Have you shit more than Oh, no, no. God, you're gonna be my favorite person.

A lot of women do have, like, IBS. A lot of women have IBS bad. Yeah, no, I dated a girl. Why? Why do you say that? Pretty crazy. I don't know, because why is it a woman thing? Because everything's irritating. Because they love to put.

I love the, you have, you have, where's my little laughing? You threw it over here. Oh, the bomb down. This is clean. Wipe your glasses. It's clean. Let me a clean one.

This is clean. This is clean. Fuck face. It's wrinkled as fuck. You know what? You get, you're, a cunt lately you know that stop being a cunt use this all right i'm being nice

to here you fuck stop getting too familiar fuck face your glasses are all wrapped up trying to help you you piece of shit after after after after after after well because you're fucking you guys are changing the rules of my fucking the original fucking podcast that's why you fucking young losers

and precious is in the middle of a story yeah yeah losers um what I was going to say though is sometimes I go on the toilet and I only fart. Sometimes you can't trust a shit.

I agree with you, but here's the thing with this. On the toilet, let it rip. What are you doing? Sometimes I'm trying to. I think I have to shit. I sit down. I only fart. Sometimes you can't trust the shit. Hey, let her clean it up. Give me that, give me that. Get that. That's mine, you fucking asshole. You really are a fucking dildo. What's going on? with you. My shirt's wet. I'm actually strange. But it feels good, right?

No! No! No! Your shorts are soaked. It's okay. It's fine. It's just just wanted. Just pretended body-dew came out of you. Makes it nicer. I look at, you know what the fact is? I opened up to you guys. I opened up and I thought you would relate. Your butthole opened up.

Yeah, yesterday. You saved them, you a piece of shit. I don't like that you guys really team. I didn't laugh. Because it happened to you too. You're trying to get back on this pod and he doesn't even know your name. I'm a darling, sweetheart, clean the table.

Yeah, what is this? You should run for the hills. Listen, Tulip. You are... Listen here, a thing. You live here now? No, I'm just visiting, but after this visit, I really do think

I should move here. Why, you live in Austin, right? No, Ohio. You live in Ohio? Yeah. Really? Yeah. What the fuck?

I've been a, I've born and raised in Ohio, and then I started doing stand-up. I've only been doing it for three and a half years. But I did spend a good amount of time in Austin because that's where, like, I started getting... You did kill Tony out there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you killed it on that, right? Yeah. Did that really blow up your shit?

Oh, my God, yeah. I mean, it did last week it did. In Vancouver, yeah. I thought it was in Austin. I'm glad you didn't shit in this country. That makes me happier. Oh, yeah. I always, if it's going to be in my pants, I'd leave the country.

You're very polite, by the way. She's a sweetheart, darling, and a tulip. That's why I'm calling his name. I've never met somebody as nice as this person, and she shits her pants. That's the best of both worlds. Oh, my God. I do so much more ghost shit, too. Like what?

You know, I'll get back to you. I'll think. Leta, let me give Bobby some nicknames. You don't have to listen to this fuck. I don't know what's going on. Shit just pants. Yeah, fat fuck, cleans his ears. Cup of shit, got wet.

Hard-boiled egg. Oh, that's pretty good. Humpty Dumpty. I got to say. Robert, jelly roll. You don't have to help her. That actually hurt. Sorry.

Hard bro. Oh. Hard bro. I didn't feel good. I don't like that one. I love you. I didn't want to clean the table. All right, listen, Tutsi.

I'm not good for you, kid. They keep going more back in time. Say? What if we could do a whole podcast talking like that. What do you mean? Like Old English. Like Transatlantic? Yeah, transatlantic.

Is that what it's called? That's what they called that accent. Oh, because like, back in the movies back in the day. Breakfast of Tiffany's. More like Casa Blanca. That kind of... She had that in breakfast. Hello, darling.

Yes, that type of shit. What was that from? Was that... The Incredibles. And the mode. That was just... I think that was an accent that was made up

because they wanted people to not hear a certain type of accent. So they created a new one. I'm making that up. I think that's what it happened. Don't do that. Don't break the... No, I went to film school

and I'm pretty sure that's why they did that. Really? Yeah. So they just had this a... like an aristocrat fancy yeah like Julie Garland would talk like that

in a lot of her films right yeah and guys did it too well Jimmy Stewart famous what was Jimmy, how do you talk it's a wonderful life

yeah Jimmy Stewart you can do it pull up a clip Danny you can't do it I don't really do accent you see you're sorry you say I was on my way

to the subway what the fuck that was that good yeah no that was perfect that you nailed it thank you I've always You are blowing my mind on this podcast.

Are you serious? I'm telling you, lollipop. You are fucking killer. He's getting closer. He's getting closer. Oh, I'm so happy. I had a feeling we'd vibe. I think I know

one of your friends, but I don't know if he's your friend or not. Oh, no. That's weird. I was out in Conroe, Texas, headlining like a shitty little venue. And then, well, I shouldn't say shitty. They were nice, nice people.

And then this old man comes up to me after the show. This old man. No, he was. Bobby's best friend. I grew up together. I hope you die. I hope you with three million followers.

I hope I die before I shit my pants too. That's crazy. You've shit your pants. Yes, you have. I was a baby. You've shit your pants. Not since I was seven. You've had shit in you.

You're lying. Look at your face. No, not since I was like seven. No, that's not. You're a lie. You're lying. I don't shit my pants. Swear on your mother's soul.

Swear on my mother's soul right now because I'm a fucking adult and I don't shit my pants. Have you ever had shit in your pants? Yeah, because it's in my ass. You ever have a little come, like a little out in your poopy pants? Like turtling? Yeah, because you can't wipe it.

No. You wipe your ass and is never pooping it. What are you talking about? After I shit, yeah, there's poop on the door. When you wipe my ass. Why are you fucking yelling at me? Every fucking dog. I don't understand.

I don't know why you yelling. I don't shit my pants. I'm a fucking adult. You're so aggressive, you fucking, you guys. You guys are all fucking gross. Why do you settle down and be nice? Like you were first on! I'm one of you guys and I'm not.

I'm a good fat. I'm a good fat. You're not a clean fat. What of the fuck does that mean? You know, because last time I was on, when you smell my belly button, you were lying. It didn't actually smell that bad. That's what it is.

That's exactly what it is. You were faking it. You're faking it. Smelled like fucking dead cunt. It did not. Yes, it did. My belly button never smells like anything bad. Let me smell it right now.

No, because you're going to do it again. Let her do it. You're going to do it again. You're going to do it. You're going to look. If you smell my belly button right now, you're going to say that it does not smell bad. I promise.

Let's see it. Can I please smell it? I'd like, please. Let's not do this. Leila, please. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. You're not confident that it doesn't smell bad. I know it's quite a fatty. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Do you have a girlfriend? You have a lady in your life? No, not yet.

Because of my video that I posted. Yeah. Women are on my idea of being like, you're disgusting. I'm like, I think it's, you're funny as fuck as what you mean. He has a lot of guys like me up. his ass, but

fuck. No, I've never seen Matt shit his pants. We've been on the road for four years. I'm not saying you sorry. Or her. He is a good fat. Have you shit your pants?

When I was 18, I shit my pants. Bingo. And you shoot your pants a couple weeks ago. You're telling me, you're looking at him right now and said he's never had pooping his pants. As an adult, as he says it.

Not that I know of. And he's never talked about it. And we share everything. So I wouldn't, I would know. Share everything. Yeah. Yeah. What are you trying to get it?

shit in your pants. Yeah, if he shit his pants, I'd probably be the six person he would call and tell. I will say this. I pee, I pissed my pants a lot more often. I miss my pants like last month. What? I just, I couldn't get home. I was driving home and I didn't, uh, and I, I wanted to go pee in this

gas station because it's 24 hours, but I'd get in there and they don't have a fucking. I thought you're going to say guys mouth. I thought he was going to say that. But their bathroom was fucking out of order. So I tried going home, but I couldn't do it. I, I raced to the side of a high I got out of my car, but I was trying to pull my pants down, and it just didn't happen fast enough by I started peeing in my shorts.

Oh, that's the worst. Yeah. Damn. I have something for you. I want to buy it for you. What? What? It's it.

I bought a for Ari Shafir because he has the same problem. It's not like a problem. I've only done. You've said you've done it a couple times. Just because you look at it. Yeah, a couple times that's about my life, brother. Not like the last. Why are you gonna fucking yell?

Because you just shit your pants yesterday. And now you're making it seem like, I'm like you. I'm not like you at all. You piss your pants. You shit yourself. You're a fucking cut and I don't like you anymore. How's that? You fucking angry douchebag.

Danny, I never want him on again. He gets the bobby bump and he gets the whipped up. Let me smell your belly button right now. I don't care. Let me smell your belly button. You're not going to bully you. Why is he saying no? You ask yourself at home why he's saying no.

There's your camera. Fuck face. Off the fucking show. Fuck with me. See what happens. Now you're done. How's that? Fuck face.

You want to fuck with me? I'll fucking fuck back. How's that? I want to see you. Look at me! Fuck face! You guys need to kiss the makeup. I'll fucking fight you right now.

Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. Stop yelling at me. No, you're the one starting to yell. You're yelling really loud right now. That's because you fucking start it down. You have to take it down. You have to take it down.

Don't tell me to take it down. That makes me matter. You are being crazy. You're fucking crazy. I've never seen up. You need to kiss him on the mouth. I've never seen it. Him on the bar. Because you're a victim.

You're a fucking triggerer. I know you, you fucking guinea. You're triggering me. I know you little techniques. Danny put it back. He loves you. You little triggering asshole. I asked Danny to get me a cool blue Gatorade today, and he did not.

I was like, when I come on the pod, you better have a cool blue gatorie there. Seriously, I'm going to say this about you. You've gotten a little fucking uptight. You got a little, I'm going to tell you what. You got a little fucking. Got comfortable. That's what happened. You get a little...

I was nice at first. Yeah, you were nice. But this is who you... Maybe a little close. Now I'm gonna do you like I treat my friends. This is who you are, right? Yes. You're just a fucking angry, loud, fucking bully.

Ben, I get to get me so angry all the time. You're a bully. You get a bully. Ben, yeah, wherever we're together, do you, you got to... He goes quiet. You're a bully. You're a bully. You're a bully.

And I get another bottle of water. Danny, don't get him shit. Zach. Zach? He's not names that Zach. Yes, it is. Layla, go get him a water. I know your name.

I'm kidding. I knew it would be Joe who fucking spines this guy. I got it, pal. You want some cheese with that? I'm happy to see Cody here. Is Cody a new edition? Yeah, I love Cody. Cody's great.

Cool. Nice to see you, Cody. Good to see you, brother. Me and him starting in Connecticut together. Cody's done our show, too. Cody's a great guy. Very funny. Love Cody.

Very funny comedy. He's very funny. How'd you swing this? Cody. How'd you get this? Who'd you talk to, Dan? Danny? What?

All right. That's a good one. No, Bobby did one of my shows, and then that's how we met. Yeah, we did a... He did a don't tell in Westchester at a Sneeter store. That was the last time we were together was at the dojo. You did my birthday show. Oh, that was fun.

That was a fun time. That was a good show. You know, I feel bad what happened to the dojo, man. What happened? Dude, it had to shut down. No. Yeah. Lies.

Danny. The dojo is currently shut down because the fire marks. Marshall's a cunt. What the fuck? It was doing so good. It's one of the best, I think. It's the kill box. One of the best in Jersey.

When they reopen, Mike's spending like $30,000. When they reopen, everyone goes to support it because they're going to need it. Wow. So what does he have to do? They're hiring lawyers and architects that's costing a fuck ton of money and it's a nightmare. We should all do a free show for him for like you do one. I'll do. We should all just do a free weekend.

I would absolutely do that. Yeah, me too, right? Yeah, yeah, you too. Yeah. Me too, right guys? Obviously. getting dead to not you

I would never do that of course you wouldn't you're a mean fucking bully no there's nothing to do with that it has to do with that we're gonna help the guy out I'll do it no you're not gonna do it you're saying here I'll talk you're all talk yeah

I'm telling you kid I'll fuck you punch it right you're fat face Danny will you tell him Bobby already you did tell it to Mike Bobby is doing it I already know that's great but like try to get a date out of him wait is that a diss on Mike or on Bobby it's on Bobby's oh I'm

this is what he's trying to this is what he's trying to trying to do. He doesn't understand that this shit isn't going to work on me. It's going to make me hate him and I'll fucking... I'll go all front. We'll go all front and I'll fucking walk up to you and we'll deal with it then. I swear to God. No, no, no, no. You don't

understand who I am, do you? Look at me. Look at me. Danny. Tell him who the fuck. Tell him what's going to happen. Go ahead, Danny. He's Bobby Kelly. I'm telling you right now, dude. Now I'm going to have to fight Danny. Now Danny's going to have to get it. Are you happy? Danny's going to get a slap in the face.

Is this clean? No, don't touch that. Use this one. First of all, don't fucking give me shit. Yeah, use your fucking manners. Sorry, dude. You remind me so much of my Italian. Well, shut the fuck up.

I'm not. I'm not. You are. I'm not. I'm not. If you have me back, this is what you do. You just repeat yourself, which bugs me.

You are. You are. You fucking bugging me. And fucking sweetheart over here is getting weirded out. She had a story to tell about some fucking guy. Oh, you have what happened with the guy. You're fucking again, fuck face. Go back to the guy.

You want to know about the guy? I'm going to tell you. Cut this right now. I'm going to fuck. You don't have to worry about me being comfortable. I am so uncomfortable. Have you grown up in situations, like family situations like that? Oh, yeah.

When you guys were yelling, I was like, does this mean I have to stay at mom's house? Yeah, it's just, it's, all right. We'll cut back into here, all right? But I had a good zinger in there. Go ahead. Should keep... Oh, I said it already. You should keep it in.

No, because I love you, kid. I really do. And I love you too. Yeah, of course. I like you a lot. There's a lot of respect. No, I mean, listen. Everyone here.

I love you guys. Even the guys in the back. I just... You know what I mean? There's a certain fucking amount of shit I can... Yeah. You can say whatever you want. You can trash me how you want.

Don't fucking bully me out of my own fucking show. I swear to God. If that's... You understand? Does that make sense? sense? It makes it 100. Everyone gets it.

It makes all the sense in the world. Yes. Yeah. It definitely does. Yeah. I don't, I don't, you know what I mean? I wouldn't,

I wouldn't, I wouldn't fuck, I don't like that from anybody. Yeah, you wouldn't come on to our podcast. No. And, right. No, I wouldn't fucking talk over you and scream over you and fucking, you know, and fucking, yeah.

When someone fucking yells at me, uh-huh. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I'm like, I did, dude, knock it the fuck off. Right.

Don't yell at me. I didn't know. I didn't know. to you were right here. Yeah, and I agree. I'm like, I didn't know either. But now we know, and we're all friends. I need a better podcast edit because I think.

It's just fucking reading the room, dude. You know what I mean? I don't know. Or just whatever it is. You know what I mean? I don't know what? I just, you know what I mean? I love your fucking energy.

I love what you do. I love, but you came in tonight as a different guy. Oh, no. You did. You came in, you weren't the guy that was on last time. You came in as this fucking other guy. You, fine. Came in as you always do.

You came in as the fucking, you know. Might have been a comfortability thing. I don't know what the fuck it is. I don't know you like that. Yeah, I think it was a mixture of excitement. Thinking that we were at that level. What level? A level where I can treat you like family.

Like how I treat my uncles and how my uncles treat you. Yeah, but my uncle, dude. I've met you. That's my mistake. Yeah, but you treat me like what? Treat me like what? Treat me like what? You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, but I don't know. Whenever that was like that with my family, it was never like getting people pissed off and gaslighting is as well. You're gaslighting. Exactly. And I told you, don't fucking gaslight me. Knock it the fuck off. Well, I never, I've never said, like I've never been told you don't pay kindly.

Well, here's a thing. If I tell you, knock it the fuck off, blah, blah, blah. and I'm trying to fucking stay in this podcast. Now I know you mean it. But you're not fucking let you're not even let me fucking yap. Right. But when everybody's joking. I don't know when to take when which which one is serious.

It's not about the jokes. It's not it's it's it's screaming over me and fucking bitch trying to I don't, you know what I mean? Bitch me out in some way. Where you're like, no, no, no. That's the thing I don't like. I've never known that. I was capable of doing something that would... Well, you can't.

The word bitchy. Like, bitch somebody. I've never been the kind of person that... That's what... I know you wouldn't. You're the sweetest guy of a man. I think it's miscommunication. And the last time you're on,

sweetest guy. The time before that, sweetest fucking dude. That's how I am. Yeah. And now, tonight, you came in like a fucking... A box of fucking fire attacking me. I thought we were going to... I thought this show was going to be so high energy,

which it was for a long. time. Yeah. And I thought it was going to end up being one of those situations where like, um, it would, you understand the difference between the last time you're on and this time with you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. My mouth's getting all dry now. Get him a water. You're gonna got me so, got me so stressed out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for fucking. We, you know what? I just don't respond well to that. It hasn't been. It's been many years since somebody's ever had to tell me that I was taking things ever too far. you know thank you brother

holy shit I appreciate that I apologize to you and I apologize to you you're you're not like I apologize you're all good you're all good brother I think we never had

I don't even know why we would have to because it's like it's one of those things where it's never it's never like customary to go to have like rules before a podcast no rules exactly I don't have rules. And so in my head, let's go, let's go all out. And then for me, my goal out, sometimes, I guess could seem to other people like I'm trying to bitch them. And I, I don't even know how to do that. Well, it's, it's either I just take your shit and fucking let you scream at me and say whatever the fuck you want to me. Or I fucking scream back at you. I understand.

And I'm going to sit here and scream. Is that what we're going to do? Screaming each other the whole fucking show? And you're going to scream over me and everything I see. you're gonna talk over me and I'm gonna say something back and I'm gonna say shut the fuck up and you're gonna go fuck and it's just gonna go back and forth that's not what I do dude yeah yeah so what I fucking do I totally understand that now you know what I'm saying yes you know you can say whatever the fuck you want about me she call me a fucking hard boiled egg I don't give a shit I'm delicious protein packed really good for you yes yellow inside yes it's happiest color

happiest color very happy and soft Yeah, absolutely. So what's up? I like to talk that up to miscommunication. Yeah. And I swear to God, I've never in my life. Here's the thing. I want to be honest.

I try to bitch somebody that I look up to in the comedy space. Let me say something to you. Here's the thing. You can't, if you, if I know you, right, and you know me as this motherfucker. And then the next time I show up you're another motherfucker, that's not fair to you. If you walked in tonight and I was like,

I was a dick to you and I was like, yeah, sit down, you're fucking out. You're late. Fuck off or whatever I. If I was, that'd be weird to you. You'd be like, right? Or if I was, I would never in my life, I'm me who this is all the fucking time,

like it or not. Yeah. And you came in tonight as a different fucking guy. Yeah. I would chalk that up to me being way more comfortable, but I can see it coming off as like, if you don't know that that's what's happening, then it could take a whole different,

like meaning and, like, and the way that you would see me and how I'm acting for sure. You gotta understand from my perspective, this is me coming up. I know Danny, I feel closer than ever with Danny. I feel closer than ever with you.

Right. You know, I'm excited to meet Layla. I don't know much about her, but I've seen, like, her clips and shit from Kiltony. So I feel like I'm in a situation where it's like, like, I am, like, I'm grateful. It's starting to feel validating as a comedian a little bit. And now it's just about, like,

having like having fun. Now it kind of feels like I've gotten to a point where I feel like I'm where I need to be, you know? And I'm not trying to say, oh, this is the moment where I feel validated. It's not. But it's like it's stuff like this. It's not even that kid.

It's like it's a matter of, of, I don't, it's like I have a person coming on a show and now this is other thing on the show where I'm like, I don't even know what this is right now. It doesn't make sense to me. What's happening. He's not listening

He's fucking not hearing me He's not letting He's talking over me We're screaming at it It's like what the fuck are we doing Like what's happening? Who are you? This isn't the guy that I know

This is I guess this is who you are But I don't know you Right You know what I'm saying? Yeah So can I tell you a little story Back in high school I had this First of all I just want to say one thing

This guy right now is the guy I fucking know Can I tell you a little story That's the adorable fucking do it I know. The guy's like this is, I will say, this is me being like calm and like knowing that now there's parameters.

There's no parameters. There's, there's, there's, uh, knowing how to fucking, knowing, you know what I'm saying? Do you think when you threw the water that was a, I should have gotten it at that point? I think so.

Okay, okay. I think so. My head, I was like, damn, I'm doing good. Damn, we got a clip. You know? That's what it felt like. Yeah. This piece of shit takes his

phone out like a fucking black chick at a I still thought it was a bit I was like I'm gonna help the team get a different angle I thought it was a bit Bobby I did I honestly did did did you I have seen your work I know that you tend to raise your voice and yell and I was like

oh this is real New York I'm loving it I didn't know there was serious emotion involved but I completely understand everything you're saying you are you're one of the greats you deserve I don't need any of that shit I understand thank you for that but I'm not it's it's it's a it's a matter of

I for you to fucking treat me like that right I wouldn't even accept that from fucking Lewis or I don't I mean I don't accept that from

you know what I mean I mean I've I've had blowouts with every you know I've had blowouts with Lewis about that you know we you know it's like that it's just I'm just not that guy

right right you know what I mean I'm not that fucking guy You know, I'm the nicest guy in the world Right. Until you fucking start trying to trigger me And get me angry and doing things to piss me off. You're doing things to try to make me fucking angry, gaslighting me trying to get me to fucking be pissed off.

Yeah. But I'll get pissed off. Right. Because who I am, I told you, I'm a fucking, I have first and sixth gear. I don't have the fourth, I don't have third and fourth and fifths. Yeah, yeah. And that's what makes you so good.

I'm being serious. That's what makes you Bobby. Now you gotta accept compliments. Yeah. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm saying, I don't know why that one bug me. I didn't know. That's what makes you you. Right? You don't go, you don't have a middle ground.

You're either hot or cold. That's cool. Yeah, and like cars have more than two years. Markis is saying you're black and white. Yeah. Mark is saying you're black and white. And I'm saying that's cool. I like that.

You know, and you know, and you're black and white. yourself aware enough to know that. A lot of people don't even know that about themselves. Listen, I don't want to put out us fighting. I don't want to have that out there. I'd love that. I don't want, no, because I don't want, I love you. I learned a great lesson.

No, I fucking love you. So, you know. We put on the Patreon. We had a, uh, are we live, right? We're not live. Ah, fuck. I'm sorry. Um, no, I don't want to fuck.

Dude, I love you. I don't want to fucking. I love you too, dude. I, I don't want to, I, I, you, you literally, man, I told Danny, get my favorites. And he got you guys and I was like, great. And then he got you. I was like, oh, fantastic. Because I don't know you at all.

Your favorite and honey tits. That's what it's cool. Anyways. All right, so we had a little discussion. Notice how Matt's a little more calm now. Notice now there's only three now.

You throw the water and cuts I'm not in the chair anymore. It's just me and honey kids. So how did you start calm? I'm speaking in only transatlantic. I'm like, well, you see, three years ago, we were going to go out in the pipe. Yes, eh? I'm no good for you, kid. I'm troubled, Betty.

my headphones. I wanted to get to you so bad. My foot got caught. And it slowed me down, thank God. It would be fucking terrible. Me, you're just rolling down the stairs together. I would make me so happy if we did fight and you shit your pants. I was trying.

And then you were like, yeah, bitch. I was trying so hard to shit my pants during that just to break detention It's happened on the train home I've been talking for fucking hours today and I am I'm fucking crazy right now

you know what I'm saying and I'm a fucking I'm a fucking maniac I just am and I you know it just it comes out once in a while you know what I'm saying absolutely

um stop shaking What are you, I don't, his legs going crazy right now. I hate this so much. I don't like confrontation. You go on the train and you do this fucking crazy shit and you can, you do this weird stuff on the train.

How do you know? I just, I mean, I'm, I disconnect when I do that. Is this my Courtney B didn't come? Yeah. It's so interesting seeing him do the things that he does on that train.

Because one time we filmed with you, I froze up. Yeah, I'd freeze up too. I could never do it. You do on the train. Oh, it sucks. It's not like stand-up.

Like, it is stand-up. But it's just like, when you're at a comedy club, there's like an atmosphere. There's a code. People don't expect it, exactly. There's a code. Yeah, when you're on a train, people don't, people want to be left alone.

Right. And then all of a sudden, Satan shows up. Right. I dressed up as Satan on the subway. That's what he's. Oh, you do regularly? Not strictly Satan. Not strictly.

Other characters. Oh, okay. There's tons of them. Yeah. Oh, well, that's fine. Can I ask you a question? Can I, you, are you, is this really, is this a thing you do, or is this who you are? Oh, no.

I'm like this all the time. Danny knows me a little bit more. Am I like this all the time, Danny? Yes, and she texts like it, too. Yes, I put all the sparkles and flower emojis. Yeah. Are you religious? No, not at all, but I, I've been told I give escaped occult energy.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think I'm a wholesome, I'm a wholesome vibe, but don't. I'm a devil inside. Yeah, I'd like to have fun. Do you chalk it up to being from Ohio? Do you feel like a lot of people from Ohio are like that? I think I do have like the little Midwestern niceness about me.

Like I want to wave to people when I'm like hiking and stuff. But I don't know. I'm also an alien in Ohio. People have been like, this chick's weird. Let me, you were saying that I have a, what do you say? I have a friend of mine? Oh, yes. In Texas, I was headlining this show and this man comes up to me after the show,

this older gentleman. and he was very nice but too nice and he says Bobby Kelly sent me here I said what I said what I want to stop you right there I've never sent anybody to see you not that I wouldn't

I mean no I know I know not that I wouldn't I just want to let you know that I'm just honey tits I know you can Layla I've never sent sweetheart I've never sent I would never send an old man to go see you Well, my first impression was, no way. And then I said, Bobby Kelly knows who I am.

And then he said, yeah, he likes your clips on punch-up. And then I kind of- Wait a minute, stop. You're on punch-up? Yes. Okay. I want to say right now, I'm not being offensive. I've never seen your clips on punch-up.

Totally, totally. In my head, after the excitement and I realized this guy's just creepy, I was like, Bobby Kelly has no idea who I am. He has no idea. I knew that was more realistic. But for the moment, the split second, when he saw an ounce of excitement in my eyes, he started to, like, casting couch me. I'm sorry, what do you do?

You know, like, I can get you stage time, kid. Like, I know Bobby. I know where he hangs out. I know such and such. And he was talking about big, fat, black pussycats. He started talking that transatlantic. I can take you away from here, see? Yeah.

I'll make a big, kid. Well, I totally thought it was all bullshit. and he started like touching me and being very creepy. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But then he, yes, I have a picture of him touching me. What was he, where was he touching you? Cressing me like on my face very intimately, telling me that he can get me stage time with Bobby Kelly.

Oh, my God. Isn't that disturbing? I don't want to see it because now I'm part of it. No, no, no. Oh, my God. Who took that photo? I did tell him this. You looked terrified.

That's my. You look terrified. I was very uncomfortable. Look at the couple in the back. You would have a story to come on the podcast. I sent him That's my uncle Michael

Wait is it really Yes I sent him I said that you would You could probably get lucky with her His Instagram says Stacey Oh okay so it's not my uncle But then he sends me this video He sent to a video

He has a video with you That he sent to me Oh shit I'm now I'm in the fucking documentary No there's Oh I know yeah Stacy I know Stacy I know Stacy I remember this video

This is a friend of mine. Oh my God. Hang on one second now. So it is a friend of yours. This is a guy. Oh, man. Did he do anything to you before I said this?

No, he just started touching me, but it was like, kind of in like a friendly old man way, but still everyone around was looking like, why is he doing this to her? And then I was visibly uncomfortable. I don't think he was picking up on the hint that he shouldn't touch me. Okay. Can I say this? Yes. I remember that video.

He comes to all my shows when I'm in Louisiana. And he comes down and he, brings a cigar and I always smoke after my shows like a cigar and he'll hang out and smoke. He curses your face and you guys are... Did he give you stage time?

What does he promise you? But that video was in Louisiana and no that was in what's the fucking town New Orleans and he came to the show and after the show we went out to smoke a cigar

and get i was going to get chicken and he tagged along with me and uh my other friend and um at the end he goes hey there's this young girl who's a very talented young girl she's very um very talented very funny and she's a really big fan of yours and she would love it if it would be really nice if you could send her a video and it would make her day if you could send her a video So I said, okay, there's this young comment. Okay, fine, I sent her a video. So he made that video, and I was like, I was sending it because supposedly you were a big fan of mine.

He's lying to both of us. Okay. He's lying off parties. I'm kidding. I'm so kidding. I'm so kidding. I am a fan of yours. No, no.

I'm just busting balls. What's your favorite Bobby Kelly bit? That was a good one. Come on, sweet tits, spit it out. Well, okay, I am a fan of yours. I listen to the reg. I've never seen your stand-up, though. I would love to see your stand-up.

Well, that's fine. You don't have to see me. But he said to me that you... I know. He said you're a big fan, and this would mean the world to you. And he told me that you sent him to go see me. I've never heard of you.

He was lying to both parties. He lied to both of them. No, I've never heard of you until he mentioned you. Okay, I see you. And said, If you could send her a video, that would really make her day. So I was like, all right, I'll make this chick's day. There's this girl.

Her name is Honey Tits. She loves you. Well, when I received the video, it was giving very much cameo vibes. And so I was like, he has no idea who I am. Because you didn't say my name or anything. You said, hey, you. And then I was like, this could be made for anybody. This video could be directed at anybody.

Well, I thought I was doing a nice thing for him. No, you were doing, you were not. I thought he said that you were friends. You're totally not in the wrong. This man, whether he's good-spirited or not, he lied to me. And then he also kind of lied to you. Lied to me. He was just being weird.

And I think it was just to, like, excite me is what I do believe. How would I, how would two bald old men excite you? Because he was telling me he could give me stage time at the cellar and stuff. And he could? Yeah. Yeah. He knows Bobby Hell. Yeah.

I have a hard time getting myself stage time. I have to sneak Danny, Joe, and Cody on undercover on my show. Yeah, I just, I brought it up because I was like, do you know this guy actually or is he like a total strange weird? Can I offer a, what is it, a conspiracy? I think he takes that video and he shows all the young female comics out at the end of their shows. How crazy is that? Like, he sends it to a bunch of people? He shows, did he show you or send it to you?

He sent it to me via Instagram. He sent it that. He supposed to be sending that night because you're a big fan and this would make your day. It didn't even, it did, it did make my day. But it scared you. Because he was touching me and stuff. Yeah.

What do you think he's going to think of this interview? Like, what do you think he's going to think of this podcast? I've known this guy for years and he always comes to my show and he hangs out and we talk and he's like the nice, guy ever and I thought it was like oh this is the sweetest, what a nice guy he's trying to... You saw that photo. I saw the photo.

I got to have a talk with him. It was weird. I'm not fucking counseling this guy. They got your phone. I don't delete a video off your phone. I feel like I'm implicated in this in a bad way. No, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm in a video going, hey, baby. No.

Me and Stacy wanted to say hi. You're in here calling me sweet pitt. So I don't know. It's not any worse. You didn't do anything wrong, though. In the video, you were very nice. Layla, I'm sorry for calling you sweet Ted. No, it's okay. It's not actually probably.

I like it. It makes me feel like it's like the 60s again. I feel terrible. Did you think I was going to get you? No, I knew that you had no idea of any of this. You knew that. I did know that. Was there any part of you was like, oh, I'm getting into the cell?

There was one second, I believe this guy, and it was the split second when he said, Bobby Kelly sent me to see you. He knows you from Punchup. Then for like one second I was like Bobby Kelly knows who I am And then after the guy proceeded To guarantee stage time and all this shit

I knew it was bullshit Wait a minute He guaranteed it He had met he I have so many DMs from this man On Instagram telling me exactly how he can like get me on stage And stuff She told me this story this past Wednesday And she goes yeah he said I could get her on

The You Know What Dude podcast I'm like he doesn't book that I book that I can get you on the one good First of all I book it I feel, I feel, I feel like I'm, I feel terrible. Don't feel, you didn't do anything wrong. Don't feel terrible. Yeah, but I was kind of in on this whole fucking scam to groom you.

You said groom. I didn't say that. Yeah, you used the word groom. No, I said like casting couch. Yeah, that's worse. It's very specific. At least casting, grooming is slower. Yeah.

It takes time. Yeah. Yeah. I think how it's in and out. Yeah. You want stage time little girl to suck my old dick? It's a 17 minute video. Yeah.

It's really long. And I'm such a fucking asshole. No, you didn't know he was creepy. You didn't know. But I feel bad to him because he's, he's been my friend. Like we've been friendly. Yeah, but you're not a woman. So you have no idea of knowing how he interacts with women.

Yeah, but now when he comes to my show again, You understand, this is a guy who comes to all the shows I do, and he shows up, and he has my number. He texts me, like, hey, man, I'm going to come down. He's been to the cellar. Where's like, I'm going to bring some friends down, and he's brought, he's brought, he's brought, and he's brought, well, that's great. I do.

He brought young girls to the cellar once. Did he really? Did he really? They didn't speak English. They're not even calming because he's like, I'll get you up there. You want stage time? Go, go, go, go, go. You ever heard of a fat black.

Pussy cat. Can we call him? No. Okay, okay. Wait, what do you want to say to him? Guess who I'm with? Oh, my God. He's going to listen to this, probably.

And he might be a very well-meaning man. What if he kills you? What if he kills you? I know, I know. That's why me traveling the country alone a lot, I do. Don't say that. Don't say you're alone.

Me and the five really tall black guys to go around with all the time. This is a man who smokes cigars. might have enough money to put a $10,000 on your head. Can I say something? This is why I'm friends with him, too. Well, we're all going to die eventually. He's actually friends with a good friend of mine.

He's, like, there's a real close friend of mine, like a real, and he's the guy who kind of was, hey, a friend of mine is going to come see you. Can you make sure you say how? And I was like, of course. So a really close friend of mine kind of hooked me and him up years ago. He does have a lot of, I mean, this looks. who who who writes all that oh my god it looks like my dms oh no maybe he's can i just suggest something maybe he's just maybe he's just maybe oh god i'm reading these now they're all reading different now you're reading it in a different undertone you're reading it as if it's sultry and soft

Hey, Bobby. Really liked your show to next. It says, hey, sunshine. You want to split a cigar after that? No. He, yeah, a very close friend of mine hooked me up with him, and then we talked, like, through that, and he's, you know, he's older dude.

He smokes a cigars. He's very interesting. He has a very interesting job, and we've talked, and he showed up one time, and we hung out, and then there was it. And then he showed up at another show, And he's been like, you know, I have, everybody has these fans that are kind of, you know, they're the, you know, the ones that show up all the time. And they're there.

And some of them a little weird, but whatever. You know what I mean? He's got those. Absolutely. Right. But I don't, I don't. It's all I've got. Fuck.

It's all. Crazy. I know. This guy. He was just like a drop in the water. Oh my God. No, I'm serious. I encounter a lot of creepy guys.

But he shouldn't touch you. I know. I believe he's a good guy. You shouldn't lie to you. That's, I have to say something. He's probably just a little weird with women. Yeah, but he's lying, he's using my, whatever fucking shit I have to lie to you. Oh, fuck.

I'm sorry to like, I'm sorry. To say that I can do things for you that I can't. That's him. There's no more. Oh, no. We can't cut anything else out of this podcast. We are running out of time that's got to go in. Tell him, tell him you're with his girlfriend.

I got your girlfriend on the pod. I think you two should make a video together and send it to him. It's actually my wife. She said, I have six pairs of underwear for you. That can't be the first time, right? Who's he using it? With other girls? Other young comics that he's promising the world to.

Can I ask in those video, do you just say, hey, you? Yeah, he does, hey, you. That could be for anybody, probably. How long ago did you make that video? When did I send that to you? He sent that to me maybe like two months ago. Two months ago when I was in New Orleans. Yeah.

So he sent it to you, oh, pretty much exactly when. It was like a week after I met him in Texas So after he touched you? It was after touching, yes. Touching. I got a post touch bid. Ooh. Did you post the vid?

No, I did not. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm sorry, that's crazy. He shouldn't be doing that. He shouldn't be using my... He shouldn't be saying any... He's not even in comedy. It's not even like...

It'd be one thing if one of these guys is like, hey, man, Bobby could get... Maybe hook you up or, you know, maybe. Yeah, it's okay. I just thought, like, the greatest... thing ever was happening to me and then a man touched me and then it turns out he doesn't even know who I am and I'm just honeyed it

I'm kidding I guess I owe you a spot at the pussycat I don't want to... She got the spot anyway It gives a deal. Everything and I am on the podcast. Everything this man said is actually happening. I'll put you on but you have to suck Sandy's dick.

Wait, that's his name. I thought was Stacy. Oh, it is Stacy. I don't know this guy. I got to suck on his cigar. I thought for a second you meant you had to suck a sandy dick. I said sandy. Stacey, yeah. I mean.

Holy shit. I mean, no, you don't have to give me a pity spot. I want an earned spot. Well, you're going to earn it. What is the ding for? Well, you can ding it whenever you want. It's for a good joke. It's actually for racist jokes.

Oh. Oh. Oh. All right, we gotta, listen, we gotta move on. We got a Patreon. We get questions for you guys. Great. We have questions.

What a day. I did Photoshop because it was an intimate touch. I thought it would be cute if I photoshop my crush over his face. So it looked like my crush was touching me. I did do that. Who's your crush? Like a celebrity guy? He's in Vancouver's.

Why was in Vancouver? Oh, okay. Yeah. The guy that... The poop's pan. Yeah, the guy that got the shit. So what happened then? The shit puts?

Is that what you call? This is the longest story. I'm really curious. You're your belly button smells. Oh, no, please don't fight again. It's like when a T-Rex swallows a fish hole and it ends up in his shit. Fishy, feces.

Did you have sex with that guy after you shit your pants? I showered first. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we totally did it. This is really fun and good, too. I think you're adorable.

And I really like you. Thank you. I like you too. I'm happy that you're, I didn't know what to expect when you came. All of Danny said, she's really cute. That's all he said?

Yeah. That's not all I said. You didn't say I was like funny or anything? I said she's funny. I opened for her and then I sent her in the video of you. And then to remind him, I go, oh, she's the cute girl. Okay.

That was the reminder of him. Okay. Well, I want people to know him more than just a cute face. No, you're very, you're very funny. that's why he said she's really funny and she's coming in and then uh

and danny does god it's gonna be so weird after this how do you feel about Danny actually Danny got you on this podcast yep he booked me do you like magic I do love magic well

Stacy is here what if you turn around I scream and run. He was behind you the whole time. Oh, that would be so scary. I hope he doesn't hate me for... He's going to hate you because you just fucking... You outed him.

You outed him. All I did was tell the truth. Yeah. All I did was a count a life experience. Yeah. I mean, he's going to be disappointed. Number one, for you, because he really likes you and thought he was going to have his children with you. She's not getting staged.

I can't. You just wake up on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic. It's just you and Stacy. I would kill myself immediately. But he's also going to be weird. It's going to be weird for me because he's going to come to one of my shows again. Or he's going to text me. He's going to see this.

He's a fan of this podcast. He's going to. He works on like ships and stuff and goes on. So he listens to podcasts all the time. He's going to hear this. You don't got to do it anymore. That's why I'm saying. let's call him and air it out

so it's not weird. I think we should. Isn't it terrible? I think we're going to call Stacy on the park. On the Patreon. Oh my God. I'm nervous. We're going to call him on the Patreon. So if you want to hear the rest of the story

how she how it started where she got killed. So when they're looking for her, we know that this is why. You'll know, but you'll know on the Patreon. For when, it'd be funny if he's like, no, I'd never do that.

Why would I do that? I'm a fan. I think she's pretty. Is that fucking wrong? Oh, that would make me so happy. How she became the next John Bonaireem. I think they have the same outfit on. Danny,

let's go through what people have. Nice. All right, here we go. Who's is this? That's me. That's you? I'm in, uh, yeah, Rochester. Yeah, Washington, D.C., July 29th,

and I'm going to be at the off-cabit, July 31st, outside of Boston. I'm doing my full show in New York, August 8th, at the Asylum. I'm at the comedy bar in Chicago, Detroit, and Pittsburgh in mid-August. I'm at the attic. That date is going to get changed.

Love that, sure. And that's actually the October date. I'm at Uncle Vinnie's in Point Pleasant, September 3rd, Dallas Comedy Club, October 15th, Rooster Tea Fathers, October 22nd, and the Canton Comedy Boom, December 19th. All right, Matt, what do you got? I got London on August.

London. Yeah, I do Top Secret. That'll be fun. And then El Paso in September. And then just go to my email list on my Instagram. Punchup. Live, too, right? Yep, absolutely.

And I'm going to be announcing a 2027 tour. Are you going all over the place? Yeah, they're still setting up all the dates. Who's setting them up? WME. Nice. Look at your fucking. You're hitting it.

That's nice. Are you happy? I'm very ecstatic, but also I'm very new at it. so I don't know exactly what's, everything, everything's very new to me. Are you bringing somebody with you? Just going by yourself. By myself. I don't have the funds right now to bring people.

Wow. All right. Let's be fun. That'll be fun. Watch off with Stacy. Yeah. Layla. Hello, I am Layla. Follow me on punchup.

com. Slayla Ingalls. Somebody already does. I will be at, I'm doing Stress Factory with Danny Braff, a show on there. I'm not going to be on the show. Oh, you're not on the show. Yeah, I'm going to be with Cody that night.

It's going to be an even better show. So I'll get this stress factory in New Jersey. I will be headlining helium comedy club in Buffalo, New York, on the 22nd of this month, which is July. I'm headlining White Rabbit Cabaret, Indianapolis, August 4th. And then I'm doing the Joke World Comedy Festival next month in August. And get all that on punchup.com. Her number is 6.4.6. 5. Get right this back, Stacey.

5.4. Punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly. I got one show. July 25th, I'm doing Portsmouth, the Music Hall Lounge. Two shows on Saturday night, and then I take the rest of the summer off. I'll be back at it in September. Saratoga Springs. I'll be in Brooklyn at the improv, Port Charlotte, down in Florida.

And then I'm going back to Boston in October. And I'm going to New Orleans. I guess I'm going to see. Oh, shit. I'm going to see him. He's going to be at Skankton. Whoa. How was it taking the summer off

than getting back on stage? Is that tough? No. No, because you rejuvenated. You're like, fucking let's go. So do you write all summer long than...

No, I enjoy life. Okay. I fucking shut it down. Really? Yeah, dude. You understand, I did shows every night

for 25 years. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how you can then just pause it, then resume me. Well, because you build a life and then you have a family

and you're like, oh, I'd like to enjoy my success. Yeah, yeah, of course. What am I going to do work every fucking week? No, no, it's cool. I love that you can do that. Some guys do it.

Some guys just keep working and never see their kids. That's true. And then of a sudden they're 18 and they're like, who's the black guy? Right. You know what I mean? I got it. Danny, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff.

He still forgets to talk about it. Follow me in the Instagram at Danny Braff. and you can see me in St. Pete, Florida, at Sunshine City Comedy Club, August 14th and 15th. Layla, come to a spot. You're going to be the festival the same date. No, I'm sick. Down out, Danny's grooming her.

And then you can see me in Philadelphia at Claude's Comedy Club, September time. Is that Claude? Oh, it's actually a new club. I was just there. It's a sick room. Is it good? Yeah, it's a cool room.

It's just when he says Claude, I think of him. Yeah. He also said Philadelphia. Cody, what do you got? Hey, this is Cody. Follow me on Instagram at Cody the comic and come to my show at New York Comedy Club and Stanford on July 23rd.

Please. Those are good shows. Joe? This is Joe. Cody, Instagram. And type in Jokes Russell. That's it. I don't even follow it.

Just type it in. Type it in and leave your computer. 68 hours. We're going to Patreon right now, and we're going to call Stacy. I can't wait. I'm going to get murdered. Yeah, but we both might get killed. You did not.

All I did was tell you. I'm in on it. No, you were not an accomplice. You were an innocent bystandard. We're going to deal with this. We're either going to save your life or end it. Because you were being so funny and cute in the video, too. You were like, hey, you look at our heads, boobs.

And I was like, ah, bye. You know. Yeah, now we have my DNA on him. Oh, no. And we look similar. Oh, he's going to frame me for your murder. I know it. There's a video of me to you.

I promised you all this stuff. We're on my show now. You know, I have a temper. Oh, fuck. I'm being set up for your murder. Oh, shit. Oh, God damn it. Patreon.com.

That's Robert Kelly. We're going there right now. You guys, if you're watching on YouTube, or you're listening on on any platform, make sure you like and subscribe. And that's it. We'll see you over there. You guys are the best fans of the world.

You know what, dude? Later.