Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #657 | Chris O'Connor & Greg Stone

Episode Date: September 20, 2026

On this ep of YKWD, Chris O'Connor and Greg Stone recap their fishing trip in Saratoga, and Greg Stone shows off his new toy he got for free by name dropping Stavros. Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Support the show & get simple, online access to personalized,affordable care with HIMS @ https://hims.com/YKWD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKWD. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school, back in the day. Where it all started before fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the original. What's up, everybody? We're back.

YKWD. You know what? D. D. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? Hey man, when I started this podcasting thing, I didn't think too far down the road. I would have named it, dude.

That's what I would have. Hey, the dude podcast, but that and that's taken. But I did a long acronym. You know what, dude. But that's okay. If you're on YouTube, subscribe. Do me a favor. Hit that subscribe button if you watch, even just a bit of it.

And then thumbs up, like it, comment, get in there. Tell us who you want on the show. We'll try to get that. Danny's in those comments. reading them all the time. So if you want to support the show and get an extra show and watch the live show and ask questions to the guests, you can do that too.

Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly if you want to become a member of the Patreon and become one of the ladybugs because that's what we call the people that are in the Patreon, my ladybugs. And I got a great guest today. I got great guests today. I got people that I really like,

one that I've liked for a long time, one that I've gotten to like over the last couple years, but had a little falling out. I don't know what's happening with our relationship. What are you talking about? You don't know what you. Anyways. You don't know what you.

Anyways. Call me this morning. Hey, Danny, who do we got? We have from the Stuff Island podcast straight from Austin, Texas. Chris O'Connor is in the house. And we also have from the special Nobody Presents Greg Stone. Greg Stone is here. Dude, your self-deprecation is fucking the best.

Nobody does it like you. Oh, nobody can. You named a special. What is it again? Nobody he presents. Yeah. Oh, God, I love you so much. Yeah.

Technically, you kind of, you pretty much presented it. It was like you and Nome gave me like the only money I used on it. Did I give you money? Yeah, yeah, he gave me a good amount of money. I did. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe your wife gave it to me. Was there a thing where you were going to give it back to us? No. No, no. So it's not self-deprecating. It's insulting. Yeah. I hope not, because you're not going to see that money, brother.

Wait a minute. I'm pretty sure when you talk, to you are going to try to make that money back and pay us back. Yeah, I mean, that's a possibility, but that is dead like my grandmother. Why? Is it dead? What? You've never I'm a producer of the podcast.

Is my name in it? What? You didn't put our names in it? In what? In the credits. Yeah, it says thanks Bob. No, no, no. Thanks, big Bob. Wow, you don't even know how those business works. When they give you money for the

thing, you're supposed to put executive producer Robert Kelly, executive producer Nome Dorman. I wrote, executive producer, you know who you are. You know who you are. That's not the deal we made. They get it. It would get in the way of the nobody presents. Right. Yeah, but what's getting in the way

of nobody presents is that nobody's paying me back. You love. It's paid. I know, but listen, I understand. I do love you. That's why I gave you that money. Right. Look, it wasn't executive producer money. It was just more than everybody else. Everybody else gave 20 bucks. I gave more than that. Yeah, like, not that much more.

What? Yeah, you got to get your lawyer. I gave you more than that. It would say, like, uh, $100, $100. Are you crazy? Maybe. No. I gave you way more than that. You just, two seconds ago, you didn't know you gave me money. I'm gonna find out of it. I got you, I got you thousands. I got a

walk back. Didn't I get me? I know. You've gotten away Scott Free. Now you've got a debt. Yeah. Wow. No, it's nothing. You don't know me money. But that, listen. Yeah. When you say, hey. You kind of made it sound like he owed your money.

Yeah. When you say, hey, I'll produce, I'll executive produce. Yeah. You give that person money. They give you the credit so that that goes on my thing that I've produced a spagia. I help. You didn't say executive produce. You just sent me money and said, don't call me.

Oh, yeah. This is my, don't call me, money. Get out of my life money. Buddy, I am mistaking you. It might say, exactly. For Joe List. I want nothing from you. So it did it, did it do well?

Oh yeah, I'm a legend in the scene now. Yeah. I'm pretty legendary. Nobody presents. Yeah, I mean. You haven't seen nobody presents? But you never even sent it to me to watch. Yes, I did.

Oh, yeah. I absolutely did. And you said, it's great, but you told me it was great after 10 minutes. So it was like, there's no way you could watch it. I think we did three and a half. Three and a half minutes? Hours. Oh.

The whole musical? Buddy, I've been in the middle of so long. I can see. something like I go I skim through and I'm like dude it's great you speed read his comedy special um well I'm happy it came out great is it doing great oh excellent that's great yeah it's on YouTube yeah I think it's still there do you know where it is someone I paid a guy and he calls me every week and says it's doing great every month I didn't you paid him paid him to say that especially I paid him to say that I paid him to say that I paid him to say that

My money guy. My money guy. Everybody calls me. I'm your fucking money guy. You are my money guy. Is there really a guy that it's on something? No, it's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. Yeah.

Is there a guy that takes care of it? Me, and I don't. I'm the guy, and I'm failing. Wow, okay. Did you say Chris O'Connor's here? Is this still the intro? No, Chris is? No, he already said. We already did that.

Yeah, we did the beginning. I know how to do this. I've been doing it for a long time. Have you been? I've been longer than anybody. Not longer than me? Yes. No.

When did you start podcasting? fucking before you were in comedy. Yeah, I was podcasting before I was in comedy. Yeah. When did you start? When did you start? 2000, uh, 2000 years ago. I guess you win.

2001. You and Jesus were doing a fucking podcast. We did the first podcast and I hate to be like topical, but we are, we our first podcast was the day after 9-11. With who? Dude, before 9-11? Yeah. I actually podcast during 9-11.

That was like one of my, I was commentating. Yeah. I was down to ground syrup. He kept being like... I was down there. Live streaming? Yeah, with the first plane hit. And then I was like, oh my God, you can hear it on the...

I was like, another plane hit the thing. He kept being like, it's not a big deal. I don't know why people are going crazy. Those things are never coming down. What are you running for? Dude, the first thing I would do, if I saw... If I see anything, I run the exact opposite way. I am not the guy that hangs out to see what's going to happen.

I can't believe people are just looking. at the buildings. Like, dude, did you see that? Run. I'm afraid. I would have cost people a lot of lives. I'd be like, don't jump. They're going to come get us. I'd have like, jump, I'll catch you. I would have such faith. Chris, the building's falling. Ride one of the cemented slats. If I jump as soon as it hits the floor, we're good. Oh, yeah, I'd be like, there's no way these things are going down. There's no way.

You'd actually have stats, dude. My father's brother knew a guy that built the schematics on this. They built it like a stencil, the steel in this. You can't burn American steel. It's got a hat truss. It's cutting edge. Yeah, dude, that whole thing, I was here for that, but I would not, I would never go down to it. I don't want to fucking be any part of that shit.

You were in the city. I was in Jersey City. I was outside of Jersey City. I was staying in Jersey City. I was trying to talk about... Were you awake? Was I awake? Yeah.

I was shooting a TV show on Jersey Shore. I was in my trailer. What TV show? Really? Yeah. I was playing a Spanish guy. Luis. Nice.

On what show? You were on the Shore in Jersey City. It was an FX show called... Fuck. It was Dennis Leary's show The Job. Rescue Me. No, it was before Rescue Me. The job was on.

And then 9-11 happened. All this shit happened. and then it got canceled, then he came out with Rescue Me After that. Never on Rescue Me. I'm still mad that they didn't put you on there. Why? Me too. You should have been there. What is that noise?

I don't know. I don't know. What is that noise, Danny? I don't know. It's a buzz. Let's do this. Thank you. It's you. It's you.

It's so good of technology. It was his fucking Scientology machine that he brought in here. Oh, yeah. We're going to get everybody's deeper. Are you going to go clear? Yeah. I want to join. What?

I want to join Scientology. How deep can you get? How much money you got? Is that that's really all it is? You got to just pay your way in? Most of the people don't have money, but you have to do things for them. As acts of service? Yeah.

To get higher and higher, you have to give money, but you can stay a sea or go, whatever the fuck. That's really all I want to do is I want to get on the boat. You want to get on the boat? You want to get on the boat? Dude, you have... Do they still have a Navy? They have a Navy? I thought they have a Navy.

They had to get off... Yeah, they had to get off. get off the They have the boat Continent for a while They still have the boat They have a big yacht I don't know if it's a Navy boat

But it's a boat Well it's the Navy arm Of their operation Yeah they're called Sea something Sea org Yeah But what are they

What are they doing Out in the water I don't know Fucking talking to aliens They can show the volcanoes Don't fucking come back I don't know I don't know what it's about them

But I trust them Do you really want to be on it? I kind of We have a producer That could do that That should be looking up These things So you don't have to

So you can talk Do Scientologist, do they still have the boat? Are you texting somebody right now? Are you on... I'm Googling it. Yeah, don't do that. Why? Why?

I have... There's three guys back there. They're not doing it. We have TVs. They still have a 440-foot motor vests. How crazy is that? My guest is a better producer than... It's called Free Wins.

Free Wins? Yeah, yeah. It's mainly in the Caribbean. Why do you want to be a Scientologist? It's too late. Fuck face. I just want to see you. I just kind of want to know what they're up to.

Although I don't want to deal with the harassment when I try to leave, but I do want to, you know. That's why you don't try to leave. You just leave. And you say, I'm here. They're going to go, don't leave. I go, I'm here. Yeah, I'm still doing it. What are you talking about? I'm ripping it. Yeah, I'm just remote.

Groundwork. I'm doing it remote. You have the personality to do that. You know that. I'm too psycho. I'd flip the first day. I'd lose my mind if they did something that I don't know. You're even keel, as they say in the sea organ. Wait, what was your falling out? We could talk about that later.

Yeah, what was there? I don't know. It all happened in his head. No. It happened in life. How did we fall out? We had a beautiful day fishing. You're fishing?

And then we had a wonderful drive back. One person fished. We all fished. You took him fishing? He took me fishing, yeah. No, I didn't. The guy, we did the Saratogaoga comedy. Fest and the guy was nice enough to say to me, hey, do you want to go on fishing on Saturday?

And I said, yeah. And then I was like, well, let me bring some of my friends. And I brought Karen, Karen, Karen Feehan, Ian Finance, and I brought Chris. Yeah. But I was, I was, I was away anyway. Yeah, you were. If you were there, I would have brought you in five seconds, dude. Yeah. I would have love you over Ian. you would enjoy yourself and fishing, having a good time. I love fishing. It's great. You know?

I don't like the rod or a stick, but I love just... The idea of being out there. That is most of it. Not allowed to do anything. No one's complaining. Yeah. You know what I mean? Smoking a cigar, have a few beers.

Yeah, that's why I don't like him. Because he does this... Yeah, man, it's just about being out there. It is. No, it's not. It is. You caught six fish. Six.

And what a talk in pig is. Pigs. Really? Pigs. Wow. Pigs. He caught an exotic fucking pickerel. It's like a half breed between a pike and a pickerel who's so big.

And he's catching him like, ah, man. Oh, hey. No, I was pumped about that one. You didn't show it. I did. He keeps it. He's like, it's a good fish. Well, he showed me before we went fishing, he was like the one fish in the world I want to catch.

And it looked exactly like this fish. And as I'm reeled in it, I'm like, I think I got one. I was so stiff. For a second, I went. He has my dream fish. I looked over and it looked like the tiger trout that I want. But I'm like, in my brain, I'm like, it can't be in these waters.

You can't catch you with a rubber warm. I can't be my fish. Thank God it wasn't. If it was my fish, I would have thrown you overboard. And that fish was wearing a Pepsi Rolex. It was just very upsetting. No, but that's the thing.

You were trying, you were trying too hard. You were fighting too hard. You got to just. I wasn't trying to. The rhythm of the ocean. This is what bugs me about him. That shit. He's very cool.

Yeah. You are the opinion of you're cool. And you know you're, and you don't think so, and that's what makes you cooler and it makes me angry. Hey, are you with me? I've never seen him flail. Yes, he doesn't fail. He doesn't go up. He's very fucking.

I flail. I scream. You don't. You're not in public. You may be bite a pillow late at night. You don't do it in public. Dude, he was nonchalantly, and he became the guy on the boat. It was my trip.

It was my thing. They were taking me out because I'm the fisherman, but they all. start, even the young kid that went with us. He was, him and him with the... I walked on the boat. I was like, dude, we're using a wacky rig or are we doing Texas rig? I knew all the term. He walks on, he's like, that was it.

Whar, whir? I don't know. The fish, he catches fish because the fish want to be like him. They're like, get me closer to Chris. Which annoys you. I know. I really do believe that they were like, oh, that's that fucking anxious guys. Well, you were just letting your bait just sit in the water. You were smoking

a cigar, just letting it sit there. Yeah, I was volume, you know, it's called giving up. That's when I gave up. You were just nailing. Dude, he was literally casting and getting fish. Like, boom, boom, got one. He just got another. Yeah, man.

I was, I was panicking to catch a fish. Not one fish. And he was so nonchalant about it. Then I go to his fucking Instagram on one of the other shows. He's, he's, he's his own fishing show. You're a fishing show? Yeah. No, no.

Tommy and I went tuna fishing once. We caught no tuna. You did catch a big, huge... We got a huge bass. Yeah. Dude, this big. Wow. But he's holding it like he's been fucking in the mouth.

He's like, even that he wasn't. He was just like, yeah, I guess it's nice, right? Yeah, man. It's only 80 pounds. 80 pounds. It's a good fish. There were so many that you couldn't not catch one. See, that.

Yeah. That. Guess who would catch one? Guess if I was out of... You get one. I promise you. You're good if you're better of fishing than I am. Not that day.

Not on my day. Not on the day I was supposed to be better than you in front of everybody else. And I wasn't. First of all, there is no such thing as good at fishing. You throw a worm in on a fucking hook and the fish says yes or no. No, no, there's an action. You got to have a feel. Yeah, you have a feel.

Yeah, you got to have a feel. Buddy, that day when I was like, what are you doing? He didn't tell me that little feel thing. He was like, I don't know what I'm doing. What do you feel? No, I tried to describe. I told you what I was doing. You put it back a little, what it was a feel.

Well, literally what I was doing is you just, you cast it, you let it sink. You reel it a little bit and there's a little wrist action, but then you let it sink again, reel it. Let it sink. Reel it, let it sink. You just do that all the way until it's back of the boat and you throw it again. That's too much work for me.

It's, dude, it's, no, it's relaxing. It's automatic. Yeah? Yeah, it becomes automatic. You just do it. There's nothing more relaxing than fishing. Yeah. I can throw afraid of the hooks.

I'm afraid I'm gonna hook in my lip. You don't have to fucking... That's a nightmare when it hooks too deep. In my own lip, I'm saying. You gotta do fucking civil war surgery on him. I'm talking about my own lip. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got to put sunglasses on.

You can get hooked. You're right. Ooh, the eyeball. I'm thinking about it. Yeah, eyeball. I wear a COVID mask too. Yeah. A what?

COVID mask. No. No, I'm afraid of getting hooked in a lip. You're not going to get hooked in a lip. You get one of those. What was that? Vivian. Yeah, I get that shield.

I get a SWAT mask. Yeah. I'm going to show up like Death Punk, which is a robot mask. You're all going to, dude, it's, it's not that bad. You're just, you're just doing this. Boom. Very relaxing.

What was the falling out? I don't understand why you're in a bad mood. I'm in a great mood. I'm happy. You don't see that. You seem angry. I'm not angry. I was just a little bit turn.

You were a little late. He's a little pissed. I was two seconds late. I had a show. Ugh. Fuck you. I'm never late. And you know,

this is why he's saying this, because you spent the weekend together. He knows late is a thing with me. And he fuck, I was two minutes late. He's like, you're a little late. I know, I know your tactics.

No, I fucked out. I was an hour late. I was supposed to be on. I missed a train. An hour late to what? A train. He was giving me a ride up. Oh, nice.

I fucked it. Yeah. Ian was exactly on time. But then he was. was late for the fishing trip and I yelled at him and he goes you let him be an hour late for that I go that's on my time this is a guy

in his son's time that's a different time you know that you're wasting this guy's time but it was a good trip Karen Karen was fucking great she was great she had fun she knows she knows what fish is all about you just keep throwing shit out he conversate a little bit take a little break where you need take a break throw it back out

but it just sucked that he caught fucking nine fish I like to throw the worms with no reel on them to give the fish a false sense of security. Oh, you like to chum the waters? Yeah, they're just going like, hey, all these fish are good. And then then they get one for me and they can't. So wait a minute, you throw all the fish out to like, wow, there's free food? They're like, yeah,

all these worms you could just eat with no problem. And then you throw the one with the hook. And I throw one with the hook. And then you get them. That's not a bad thing. I mean, I tell you what, I would have, by definition, a terrible strategy. Psychological. What I do is I feed them. Then they're not hungry. Then I try to start.

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effectiveness, or quality prescription required. individual results may vary. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. I would have tried it that day. I tell you that. If I had called you, I'd be like, dude, just throw a bunch of things in. I would have done that. Not one fish. I will say, I've never caught a fish in my life. Really? My entire life never once. Did your dad take your fishing? He did. What did he do? Did he catch? I don't, you know, I think maybe he was catching all the fish. I mean, I don't know. He was so drunk. You know, maybe he wasn't putting the line in. I don't know. It was like a fun.

My dad was a fun drunk. He knows what fishing's all about. Yeah, you go out there and just pound a few people. Don't even cast. You just take the boat out. A Coors light. Get hammered. Cooler.

My son is so much better than me than fishing. He were at the little... You have a son? What? Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. I'm having a good time. He actually was...

He catches way more fish than me. He said one day he got... You know those little Cinderella rods, the little practice rod? You get like kids? Oh, that seems like... He goes, I'm going to try to catch a fish on this. It's like nine bucks. I go ahead.

And he put a hook on it and he caught a fucking two and a half pound bass. Wow. I was so mad. I was mad at him. I had a thing with him that day. I swear to God, there's magic to those rods. Anytime a little kid has that rod, they catch something. There's something...

Every time. Yeah. Every time you're like, hey, this is a fun thing for you to just fuck around. I can ignore you. And they wind up landing just monsters. Every time. I think it's because when you don't want one, you get one. I think it is.

Yeah, they know you want it. Yeah. You're like girls. I want I smell like them too Fuck like them too Oh what You never fucked a fish

You never been with a fish Bro if you guys are seriously Never been with a fish You don't even Someone has to have fucked a fish Someone Someone You're talking about a lot of people

Yeah A lot of you A lot of drunk dudes Whoever catches the smallest fish Has to fuck the biggest one I would never Fuck a fish People look at that bass mouth

Yeah That bass mouth has been around You think you fuck it through the mouth Or is there another hole? I don't know if they got a but hole They do They do Yeah they have to shit there

You think they shit out of their mouths I don't know How do they get pregnant? I don't know how they hold things They don't have arms either They have fins They don't have anything They don't have to hold it with their mouths

Yeah Where they hold them I don't know They move rocks around Make a little Don't they move rocks around And make like a little I think some of them behave like

Birds of Paradise So they build like a little Like a presentation for the woman Yeah that's true I think they did I don't know, I don't know fishing. You know everything about fishing. No, this is planet Earth stuff.

I think I saw one, it would take rocks and it would use it to smash clams. There you go right there. What is that? A fish dick? We'll click on it. Oh, a kissing fish. That's the one you want to fuck if you're going to fuck one. Oh, you fuck that one?

That's a pussyfish. Why would you fuck that one? Did you pick a fish that you could fuck? No, I think he's just looking at privates. I don't know anyone's talking. Uh, the, you guys, the fish bottle. Somebody fuck it. This is the worst.

What, what's a fish bubble? What is that? A butthole. Oh, a butthole. Yeah, you can't, you can't fucking fish is butthole. What? You don't have to look up. Just as, has anyone ever had sex with a fish?

This is great. I love that you're producing my show. Let me talk to my girlfriend. It's crazy. And is there footage of it. You're going to talk to you, a girl? Yeah, why? Getting an AI.

Um, it answers all my questions. Are you, this is nuts. No? My guests are producing my, my guests. My guests are producing my girl. show. No, staff, you phone. Let me say this. Did you remember a few years ago when that guy got arrested because he glued a bunch of little hats

on pigeons? Some guy was around grabbing pigeons. Is that a crime? I guess so. I thought that's art. Yeah, that's an installation. Yeah, that sounds great. You know, happy I'd be if I was at the park and a picture with a hat set? Of course you would. He made the world a better place. Yeah, I would think he could talk. Yeah, how does it affect them at all? I mean, I don't know, I think the sun was out of their eyes. I bet they're pretty, I bet you

those fish were walking a little bit. We're confident. I was thinking a top hat. You were thinking just like a ball cap? All the time's a little hat. He's going to a Yankees game. You know, they put a Red Sox hat on and they kill them. What type of hats were they putting on, do you know?

I thought it was little like Berringer hats, you know, like little fancy man hats. Yeah, like this. That guy's a cowboy hat. Is this the actual? Is the greatest crime in humans that he did? Those are cowboy hats, dude. I love cow that's fucking bad ass. Yeah, this is great.

I don't know how much crime. I mean, how much time do you do? What? Pink America Great. That's fucking great. That's great. I want to do that with fish.

I want to get little briefcases and staple them to fish. Staple them? You catch a fish, he's got a little briefcase. That is a brilliant idea. Come on, that's not fun. A fucking fish with a briefcase? It's catch and release. You know how lobster men take the little divot out of the head of the tail?

It's a breeder. Yeah. He's just stapling briefcase. Yeah, but in the briefcase is like, Stocks for tuna. It's all fish stocks. Yeah, man. Right, if they're going to like tag them,

tag him with a hat or a fucking briefcase or rollerblades. Have you ever caught a tag fish? No. I have. That's a big. That must be huge. Well, you've got to put them back, but it is weird to catch a fish with like a little thing on it that they come in a tag.

I don't keep the tag on myself. You can't. You'll get, you'll get it. No, they'll let you chase them. They'll be looking out of fish. They come to my house. They'll be watching me with my wife. Then they'll learn a little thing or two.

What are they going to learn? How to fuck a woman. That's what I'm going to do with that tag? That's what... What fish are they tagging? You want the lake? Bass, trout. They tag trout.

Really? Yeah, they tag them. I didn't know they did that. Yeah, they tag them. And you can't keep... You got to put it right back. You can't fuck with it. You get caught with you.

You get fucking... I thought they just did all that stuff by, like, measurement. No, they tag them. They take not all. All of them. I've caught a fish with a little red tag on. I think it was red. Yeah, it's weird.

Yeah. It's kind of cool, though, because you get you, like, is this a government fish? Yeah, yeah. Is this a special government fish? Is it being tracked? Is it being tracked? Dude, I, yeah. I would love to do that.

Bring it, like, when they catch great whites and put tags on them. Yeah. Do you ever see that show where they would, like, they would put a great white on, like, a lift and bring it out of the water and put, like, a hose in its mouth? Yeah, they put that, to keep it alive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And the most terrifying part of that When they're letting it back in

And the guy has to stay on that lift It's just filling with water And the fish is getting its shit back Is thrashing around Oh, fuck that I always wanted I used to watch those videos All the time when I was a kid

I had like a VHS Of just great whites eating like horse meat Oh yeah Yeah they put like horse meat on a rope Over the side of a boat And it would just jump out and bite it I always thought they bite it And like cut the rope

But they don't I think they do It just kind of, they just go, I thought they bite it and it just comes off, but a lot of times it just stays on the fucking, you ever see a lot of times they miss? Yeah, you ever see that when they, it looks like it hurts.

When they're eating a whale, I imagine them coming up and just taking a big chomp out like I would, and they just bite it and take a little piece out of it. They don't get a lot of meat out. Yeah, they all wiggle. Yeah, they wiggle the fuck out of it. Alligator spin. Yeah.

Crocodile. I want to see a crocodile eat something. It's scary. You ever see when they grab out like a giraffe? space? Yeah. That's fucking crazy. It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, crocodile was a fucking nuts. You ever see when it was like they shoved their hand in the hole and they pull out like a big

fish? Yeah, what is it? It's like a... Noodeling. Newtling. Yeah, people die doing that. Why? Because they reach, sometimes they go under to the hole and they reach in and grab back. And those things are huge. And they hold on and they can't pull out and their hand isn't coming out either.

So they die. They just drowned because the fish holds them down. Can't you have a stick with a hand on it instead of like a fucking real hand. I think you just invented it. A noodle stick. Yeah, get a noodle stick. Yeah, like one of those grabbers.

Yeah, I get a grabber. Also, Amazon sells like fists for like, I hate to be weird, but like those sexual fists. You just screw like a broom on the end of that. Use that. It's rubber like, put it in there. Pull them out. The thing is you're supposed to grab them and like grab their mouth

and pull them out. Grabber. Get a grabber. Yeah, one of those plastic hands. Yeah, but they don't, they don't hold on too tight. I mean, that's for grabbing like paper plates off a top shelf. Well, sure, the ones from Walmart, but you build.

one out of like titanium or something. Right. So Bill, are we in this business now? Am I on the ground level? People are getting injured. Are we going to have to invest in this? Right.

Yeah. We're going to invest in this. Lure them. You have to lure them out. Good word. Or you know you have a stick that has like two blades that's open up. So when you get in its mouth, you click it, it'll open and then you pull them out like that.

Right. Right. Could also just like fish for something else. Right. You go to store, buy your food there. You could not risk your life. Taking your fist into a world. rocked in a giant catfish and it's always in dirty water i don't like fucking jumping in filthy

creeks like it's just brown and you can't see i like when i'm in water i want to see what's going on i do not want to no jump in a dirty brown creek and then stick my hand in the hole i don't want to swim in it it's gross like the water in austin those springs they have is what i want yeah when you jump in and it's like you could drink it. Yeah. It's like magical. Have you ever been to those? I've been to Destin, which has a very nice, very nice water, white sand. Yeah. You've been to Destin? Yeah, that's on the Gulf.

Yeah, it's at the Gulf. Yeah. That's a lot. I've never been to that. The Blue Angels are over there. Yeah, it's pretty sick. They fly around. They fly around, yeah. Yeah, they do some practice runs. It's pretty dope. It's pretty wild what they're doing. You know what I was trying to look up the footage of the crocodile hunter being killed, and I guess they destroyed it.

Destroyed it. What? What? They have to regret that. I don't think they did. I think they said... They got to keep one copy. Even the Grizzly man, remember that documentary? They had that on video too.

Really? Yeah, there was cameras rolling. They had the audio, too. The audio they played, they didn't play the footage? No, they... I think they destroyed it. Why would you do that? Because they don't want to show...

They don't want to show a guy being murdered. Right, that's how you... Why not? I mean, I get you... You don't have to show it, but like, don't destroy it. Well, what are you going to do with if you don't destroy it? Think about it. You give yourself some time to think about it.

I'm sure they thought about it. I'm sure that you didn't destroy. They found it and just destroyed it that day. I'm sure they went to the family. That's what I'm saying. You got to give yourself 20 years. It's like a, you know what I mean? Put it in one of those.

Time capsules. Yeah, put in one of those. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. They open that yearbook picture. 50 years. It's an original Coke, certs, and a murder. Steve Irwin.

Yeah. That's cool. That's a good time cap. I was like, great. So you want it if I was usually stupid shit. Yeah. And I think, you know, you get some distance between you and the, like, it's a big moment in the guy's life that murder. I've been watching grizzly hunts.

That's a thing I was. Guys hunting grizzlies? And there's a lot of charges. And it was one where the guy, the guy shot the grizzly with a bow. Jeez. And it didn't. It didn't. And then they came up on it.

Yeah. That didn't work. And all they heard was, huh, huh, and the guy's gun didn't fire. Oh. And he ran,

but there was a camera guy behind him. So they were running through this shit, and then the guy wound up shooting it. Yeah. But they survived. They survived. Yeah, they wound up fucking taking it out,

the other guy with a gun. But yeah, dude, could you imagine these, the paws of this big. I know. And it's, it's crazy that these,

guys and to be honest I watch brown bear and black bear hunts I could never do it because I'm looking at these bears they're glass in them for like hours or days and they just see it the bear's just eating berries and then he plops down and just kind of chills

and he's just living his life trying to get fat because it's going to get cold soon and then you hear pow and he goes what the fuck was that and then he runs and he's like oh shit I'm just rolls down a hill limpless and then winds up in the lake

and then they show up and they're like dude look at this hide and you're like this motherfucker was just chilling oh they killed it for not because they're like invading towns they kill it just for fun moose I understand because you're eating it they're gonna eat the whole thing right yeah but a bear I mean but

let me back up these guys who are hunting these bears are eating this bear yeah the bear fat is supposed to be like the greatest thing ever and the meat they like it they like the meat So they're eating it. The long distance shot, though, the sniper, I don't, I like the arrow.

Yeah. You know? A sword of power. Yeah. Get something. Like, take a risk. Right. You know, if you're going to kill a bear, put your life on the line.

You know, you can't be across a valley. Yeah. Like you said, bears chilling, eating berries and you snip it. It's like, it doesn't even know it's in a war. Yeah. It's like 60, 680 yards away. The wind is blowing away from you. He has no idea.

Yeah. He's just like, dude, these. I found these fucking berries, dude. I'm staying here for a day. I'm going to eat as many berries. I'm going to take a nap. And then I'm going to eat some more berries. I'm going to go fuck a sow.

Yeah. Imagine if you just got out of a fight. They have those huge fights. You get out of one of those. You fucking limp your way over to some berries. Yeah, you feel them pretty good. You know, you're definitely going to fuck. You're eating berries.

You're like, all right. Then we'll go back. We'll fuck that chick. You feel it and then you hear it. Bang! What the fuck is that about? The noise you've never heard in your life And then your ribs hurt

You're like, I think I hurt my rib And then you're like, oh no, that's my heart and lung Yeah And they don't even go like No They don't either day It's not a thought that even enters They do exactly what you would do

If you got shot go Ugh Fuck! I'm out of here And they just take off Drop Yeah Grizzies are a little different They get pissed

When they get shot Yeah And those arrows do So weird They shoot them And you don't It goes right through them Like, they didn't, like, a gun goes in them and kind of fucking,

but a fucking arrow just goes funk and just cuts an artery on the way in and cut your heart. They're just like, dude, what the fuck? They're like, what's happening? Dude, I'm feeling tired. I'm thirsty. Ah, shit. Yeah, yeah. It's just a pain in their chest.

Yeah. It's, uh, I don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I could. With a bow. I'm definitely not, nah, dude. I'm not fucking with it. Fuck that. Dude, are you on?

The sound of a grizzly. Yeah. Grizzly attacks, though, those are wild to watch. Because they false charge. What do you mean? Like, they, like, they, like, I'm fake you? Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, man, I'm scared of you. You're a bear. Yeah, like, black bears will fucking run. Yeah. Because they're afraid of you unless they're with cubs. Then they'll fuck you up. They'll take off. They're afraid.

And you could see them smell the dude. Like, they'll be out, and then they'll go fucking out of here. I'm out. That's a human. I can smell this fucking old spice from here. Fuck off. Yep, they got guns. And they're gone.

Yeah, they're gone. Yeah. But Grizzlies, they don't fucking give a shit. Polar bears, like, wait a week. They'll, like, know you there, and they won't leave, and they'll, like, get revenge. Like, polar bears are motherfuckers. Is that right? Yeah, there's something about polar bears.

So why isn't there any footage of polar bears killing people? Because they always win. And then they destroy the footage. Well, a lot of... They know. They wait, but they wait. They wait a couple years before they should the polar bears. They're like, no, I'm going to hold on this just in case.

All their videos are on Patreon. I do. I want to see what a bear paw does to a person. Oh, my God. I want to see it like, can they just take a guy's arm off? There's a guy that got attacked by a grizzly bear but got away somehow. But he's literally walking back and just the side of his head is missing. He said, I heard it grabbed my head and I heard the crunch of my skull.

Oh, my God. And somehow he got away. Yeah. It's, it's, well, it's black bears will, you can become big, they'll run. Grizzlies will fuck you up, but they don't, they don't want to eat you. Yeah. Polar bears want to eat you. They see you, it's value they want to fucking eat you.

Because there's nothing for them to eat up there. Yeah. So they're like, they're like, oh, you're the closest thing I have to lunch. Oh, yeah, when they see a polar bear in a village, they're going to have to shoot it. Yeah. Because it will fucking eat a key. They're just like, yeah, dude, I, I'm not cute at all. I'm gonna fuck it's cold as fuck

I just was on an iceberg for three days trying to get here and I'm gonna eat anything I can see Do you leave traps? They'll like grab your wife And be like come get this bitch No they don't you're lying Yeah I'm lying I thought you were I thought you had knowledge

You're holding your wife I thought they had a grudge the grudge thing is fake too No that's real okay They see like a fatter guy You know they'll take the skinny person And wait for the fat guy to come say This is true A man covered in butter?

Yeah They wait for them. They wait for Butterboy. Yeah, they make threats. I think a polar bear would be the worst thing to see in my life. Because you can't even see them. They're just white. Right.

And they just see the little beady eyes. Oh, God. There's footage of this guy built a cage, a glass cage. And he went in it with the poli bear. And it got to the point where it was like, did we make this right? Like there was a couple. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You could hear a couple shakes. Yeah. And he was just getting into it. And he was like, ah, man, I hope these, I hope this welder was in the union. Yeah. That's how it feels every time they're like the great whites actually take a run at one of those cages. They go right through. Did you see the one where the guy goes up?

Yeah. It goes in the cage with the guy. Oh, my God. And get stuck. Oh, my God. And the camera guy's in the cage. Wow. And he's got to get, he's got to go up through the hatch into the open water, hoping this thing is still stuck in the

cage and fucking get back to the fuck dad. I have no need. I would love to see a great white from a distance. I would never get in the water. They have the thing where you can get in with crocodiles. It's a glass cage and they drop you in with the crocodiles. I do that. Yeah.

I would do that in a second. No need for any of that. I would do that to see a crocodile come up. I don't care. I was in, I did the... I have Google. Atlantis in the Bahamas. They have a water slide.

that goes down and through the glass, it goes through an aquarium, and sharks are in it. So as you're going through the water slide, sharks are going over your head. That was kind of cool. That's kind of fun. Yeah, that was fun. I would love to run across a lake

jumping from alligator to alligator. That was in 007. A stunt guy had to do that. No. Buddy, look it up. We'll get it in an hour. Not you look it up. My guy, in 007, they had...

Which one? I don't know which point. They're basing shit off Wiley Coyote. Dude, you see the footage. Bring up the crocodile thing. We're past this. But we'll kind of stay with us what we're talking about.

We're moving pretty quick. We are. It's not easy to do. You're not going to be able to find this crocodile. 007. 507 crocodile run. So the stunt guy, the first time he did it, he almost fucked up and almost got him.

One of them went like that and he tripped and they had I think they got it and... How did they organize the crocodiles? They lined them up. And this guy was on an island. It's supposed to be 007. They just show his feet.

And yeah, this is it right here, dude. This is nuts. You could get this. They have fake crocodiles. There's so many. No, dude. Back of the day, stunt guys lived for the guy. Yeah, yeah.

They were like, dude, I'm doing the crocodile walk. There was no regulation. Yeah, this right here. This is real. Come on. But that's real. Oh, they must have tied down. See, that one almost got him.

They made him do it more than once. Yeah, dude. This is all fucking real crockyton. This guy had to step over. Man. Is that fucking nuts? There's no way. It's real.

I guess so. How else would they could. Dude, it's real. That's me. Tied him down. Yeah. They had to tied them down. Yeah.

Yeah. But still, if you trip. Yeah, they get you. If you trip. You're fucking done, dude. Right. Also, no one's ever done there before. So it's not like, they're like, oh, this is how it works.

It's like, no. There's assuming it'll work. No. Well, no one is, that's the first, I think, in last. Crocodile walking. that's ever been done. That's when stunt guys, dude,

stunt guys used to jump out of fucking helicopters, fucking jump off of buildings into a balloon. That's when stunt guys were the shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny to think of the,

the crew tying those alligators down. Just, oh, dangerous. Skinny jeans. Chat cheap. Black jump teeth. Yeah, shorts. A dungary vest.

It's a goofy biker hat. Right? I don't think they're tying cross. I wonder if chat GPT how that worked. I wonder if they... They're not going to stay there. Crocodiles going to leave.

They start to run across me. I'm going to go somewhere else. Crocodiles don't really move, dude. They just chill. If someone tries to run across their back, they're going to go, I'm going to go to another place. Is that a fact? No, they'll spin around and they'll bite you.

They'll bite you, but I'm still not moving. Yeah, there's a dog... They do sit. They do a lot. It's kind of their strategy. They just sit by the water and then jump. Yeah. Crocodiles.

Crocodile was a terrifying to me. Alligate is people swim with Alligator. What does it say, Cody? I don't know. Read it. Ross Kanaga. Into the microphone. Ross Kanaga.

Says the scene was filmed at Ross Kanaga's crocodile farm in Jamaica. Roger Moore did not actually perform the run. Crocodile Wrangler and stuntman Ross Kanaga doubled for him. Wow. Does Ross Kanaga have like a highlight reel or shit he did? It says it right there. Ross Kanaga ran across the backs, literally ran across the backs of three live crocodiles, arranged in the line.

The production used some fake crocodiles for other shots, but the key running stunt was performed with real animals. Fuck off. But you know that guy was juiced up. He was like, dude, I'm doing this. Is that much pussy he got? Yeah. Saying, what did you do today?

Ran over crocodiles. What? I don't know. Dude, somebody wrote that. It's not that script. What? Yeah, that footage is kind of lame, don't you think? Dude, running over the, like a bridge?

You get a crocodile bridge Yeah, but they can't You know, they're tied down Dude, if he falls Yeah, don't fall Okay, yeah But that's your Ross Kanaga You've trained for this

You think Ross does this all the time This is part of the crocodile tour But it's crazy to me Somebody wrote that in a script And it was like four crocodiles It wasn't like right here Look at this I took multiple attempts

On one attempt A crocodile caught Kanaga's heel Shoe He was injured during the filming accounts report that his injury eventually required a hundred and ninety three stitches. Fuck that, that's dangerous. Wow. You ever see the ones

you ever see the alligator, the crocodile guys where they stick their arms? If you don't touch a, if the alligator opens its mouth, if you don't touch its tongue, it doesn't supposedly shut its mouth. The tongue, when something hits that, that's when it clamps down. There's these guys that put their hands.

in. People with their heads in and shit. Yeah. It's like I don't. The guy did that too. But he took the something touched the tongue, clamped down. Yeah. And just starts fucking spinning the guy's arm off.

Fuck that. Yeah, fuck that. I don't get any of that shit. But I'm glad people do it. I'm glad people do it because I like seeing it. Yeah. Like I like, yeah. But it's like, imagine if they deleted that footage.

Oh, right here. Look at this. No, I hate this. Oh, guy. He accidentally. Just go to a, get a four year degree. Uh, dude. That's crazy.

Oh, man. Oh, bah, bah. Yeah, that's crazy. That's not the thing I was talking about, but that's what these guys do. But I feel like alligators for some reason we've kind of figured them out. Well, they're just like, they're just in America.

So we like let them hang. Yeah, but it's like, just don't be a problem. We won't fucking kill. Like everybody in water in Florida, there's probably an alligator in it, they say. Yeah. And people still swim in these little springs and shit. Yeah, they get eaten.

Yeah, but people get cocky. There's that one story of the guy who's like, they're like, there's a lot of crocodiles in there. He's like, I don't give a fucking. jumping in. He just immediately died. Like I was shit, just fucking, dude, we're good. Yeah, I'll do it. I have a problem. I have a problem.

Anytime I jump in anybody of water, my brain goes to something in here. Yeah. I used to get scared swimming in pools by myself. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. What do you mean? You can see through the bottom of water. I don't know, dude. I thought that maybe somebody slipped a little crocodile. Dude, I did that. I did that once I was in Florida. And it was like, yeah, it was

like murky, like it was like a lagoon where my uncle's house was there and I saw dolphins in the lagoon. And so I was like, oh, I got to fucking, I'm going to swim with dolphins. I just sprinted it and just jumped off the dock into the water. And as soon as I was in the water, I was like,

yeah, I can't fucking see it in this dog. They could be pissed I'm in here and just start ramming me. And I just like, fucking race back to the dock. Florida, that's why the one reason I, I love Florida. I would love to have a house there. but I love lakes.

I love lake life and I'm not going in any lake in Florida. I don't care. Because one of these cuckuckers could just come in for a day, squirt out a couple babies and nobody knew they were there. And then all of a sudden they're there. Mike Caltar has a six-foot crocodile in his backyard. He lives on a golf course in a mansion and the pond in his backyard. Every once in a while, you'll see people golfing.

And there's a six-foot alligator just chilling. And I'm like, why don't you get it out of here? It's not bothering anybody. It will. Yeah, until it does. It will. Oh, is this the guy? I worry about snapping turtles.

Snapping turtles. Really? Are there a big problem? You can take a hell off. Watch this. Watch this. He accidentally touches the thing. I'm not going to watch this. Yeah, he fucking...

Because my people are telling. He touches... Oh, this fucking dummy. And he's done this a million times. There's a bunch of people there. There's got to be so many times where he looked at the crowd and he was like, why am I doing this for this crowd? I know.

Yikes. Ah, I got his arm. And here's the thing about this. Got his other arm. Not the arm was in it. Not his head. Got the arm that was beat that he wasn't paying attention to. Yeah.

There's so many. Did he die or get him? Just a little bite. He's good. Do you think they have to sell a certain number of tickets before he risks that shit? No. Man, I don't know. See if he.

Five people there. What kind of performer is he? You know? Does he go out there and give a day every time? He's doing any material? There's fucking four people in the crowd. It's late show. Sunday.

It's like, put your head in the fucking alligator's mouth. I was in Louisiana hanging out and the kid took me down to, uh, there's trails. And they have little, they have alligators everywhere. Like, he's like, there's alligatoras. You just see them in the water. And there was one chilling like this big, just chilling. And, uh, I walked up to it. I was filming it.

Fuck it. He was like, they usually chill. Walked up, snapped at me. Did a little fucking thing. I ran like Forrest Gump all the way back to the car. Like a bitch. I was like, fuck,

I just heard the kid go, run for it. Yeah, I'd be heck on it. Yeah, I don't like fuck but I would catch an alligator with a hook or something.

Yeah, yeah, I'd do that. I wouldn't mind doing that. You ever see those guys? No. They just see them and they throw a line out

with a treble hook on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, fucking whoop, rail it in, and then they go funk right in their head and then you get a fucking boot. You get some boots

and a wallet. I wouldn't mind that. An alligator is good. You ever try it? No. It's good. Never had alligator. It's fatty.

It's like fish. Like fry it. Right, right. It's just like... You fry anything. It's good. Yeah, yeah. Just wrapping it in baking.

You have this thing. No, don't even get into that. No, fuck you. Yeah. I need to know what this is. I don't know what it is. It's a hot scam. I got cooking.

A scam? It's a little bit, a scam oriented. You want to hear the quicks to... I would love to. So, uh, this company, telepathic instruments, they make this synth.

It's like synthesizer. And so I was like, man, I want this thing. Why do you want it? I like, I'm into like, nothing sounds like more of a scam than telepathic industries. It sounds like an offshoot of Scientology.

The rebranding. No, we're telepathia. Taming Pala. The guy who does Tame and Pala made it. Okay, what does it do? It's a synthesizer. You can play chords and you could just play like, play songs and shit.

But I was like, you know, I want one of these things, but it's way too expensive. So I emailed them and I was like, hey, listen, I've been on this Dobby's podcast a bunch. And I was like, I'm going on Stobby's podcast. There's a billion followers.

Yeah. Let me get one of these things. I'm going to play it on the podcast. Really? And they were like, sure. And then I was like, fuck. They sent it back on Stobby's podcast. Oh, you did?

You weren't, book? I'm on there regularly. Yeah, yeah. I'll get back on there. I guarantee you mentioned my podcast first. He's like, nah. What about Stavis? Yeah, we'll send you one for that.

Yeah. I went with a boy. And Stobby's always like, man, use my name to get whatever you want for free. So we're going to do it. Yeah. So I got this thing. You can, wait a minute.

Stavi said that to you? Yeah, yeah. And the last one, I was like, dude, I got to get this thing. And he wanted to buy me one because, you know, they all got money now, you know? But then they were sold out. So then I was like, fuck it, I'm going to email him. And I emailed them and they sent it to me. So now I'm going to use Stavi's name to get shit.

Dude, dude, any time you're about to go on a big podcast, email everybody who has got shit you want. And then just wear that shit. I'm going to email Tesla. Yeah. Rolex. I'm going to go on a bunch of things. I got to forget to mention it.

I ain't talking about hair implants. I'm like, yo, let me get the hair implants. I might do Rogan. Really? Might. To get the hair implants? This is a... How are you going to go to?

Do you know Rogan? No, I just made that. That was like a... I'm sorry, that was a situation I made up. Oh. I'm saying that was like a make-em-up. Do you want hair implants? No, I'm going to get the other one.

My friend, where they inject something. Because I'm good. I just want a little thickening of it. Dude, mention my podcast, see what happened. Go from the bottom. Go, Mike Feeney's, and then go, stop going up, see where it is. You don't want to waste it.

You might want something big later. Well, this is this from me. You might get, you might get hair juice from just doing this. I want to get my wife from tithy. You're not going to get those on mine. You're going to have to go in, like, Legion of Skags. Maybe his podcast with Tommy. Do that.

You get titties with that. We don't do titty numbers. You'd be surprised. Titty numbers. Sometimes it's not that high. What do you think of a tit number? 10. You get one tit from his and one tip from mine.

Yeah. You just get it done six months apart. Yeah. All right, so go back into this. Can I look at it real quick? Yeah, yeah. You know I'm into technology. No, I know.

You think tech stuff. You start getting the music stuff. Does it come with the case? They sent me the case for free. Nice. Did they send you this? No, this is mine. What is that?

This is just a thing so I can plug it into... XLR? Yeah, yeah. I love adapters. You know me. We're wire men. I know, I love adapters. So I got this whole thing going where I'm a guy

who doesn't know how to play piano who just plays piano. So you're just like, let's see, let's see if we got it. Sounds pretty good so far, right? Yeah. That's a song. Right? Then you do a little something like this. Right?

Now we've got a song. Now you're going to have words. Words are easy. Can you do a song about my fishing trip with him where I thought I was going to be the guy and then he came in like nonchalantly and became the guy? It's a good opening line. I thought I was going to be the guy.

Let me get a little reverb on this mic. It's good. There's a good name for a song, too. It's a good name for my life. What do you want about this? I don't think you can do a reaper. What do you want to something about? I thought I was going to be the guy.

Oh, that's pretty good. Fishing. I'll be fishing. I'll be fishing. I thought I was the guy. I'm not. I'm not. My audio is a little fuck.

Hang on. This is good stuff right here. The way he was on the boat Her passive addressing There we go Now we got something here I thought I won

The guy I couldn't catch a fish By a travel Yeah I was out on the boat Ficking strong And then I looked over And I was wrong

There he was Hanging out how to care in the world Had the cloud Fish and fish He got the catch Didn't care Oh, your turn, Chris

Sorry Chris Just talk it through We need to loop like a And I thought it was the guy I thought I was the guy I know I didn't bring my looper I thought I was the guy

None of us have any I thought for music. I was the guy. I thought. I thought. I was the guy. This is unlistening.

This is a disaster. That's the name of my podcast. Can you auto tune it? No. The microphone is plugged in. Can we do auto tune? I have my auto tune at home as well as my looper, but I didn't bring it because I thought it would be I didn't bring all this stuff.

You just got this. You got to learn you just got it. You got to learn how it works. Yeah, I don't know. I like this beat, though. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that.

No, that's not right. I don't like that. It's not right. Now, go back to the other thing you had earlier. Yeah, that was like Miami Vice. More Kanye. That was more like Michael Mann. Nope.

There you go. Yeah, that stuff we could work with. But you need to bring back in the other melody that you had. Yeah, when it changes the sound, it changes the loop. Whatever. They make a... It's playing the same thing. Do they make a bigger version of this?

This is not a good review of this product. No, this is the idea. This has got to be a good review. They already sent it to you. Buddy, you're doing this on Stavi, not this. You're working out the kinks on my show. When you get the Stavi, you're going to have a song called I thought it was the guy. Telepathic Industries needs to fix their fucking sin.

Now, do you just stay, do you just stay home and do this? Oh, yeah. That's too much. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. This is good. Have you written a song? Of course.

Oh, let me hear one else. Oh, like just a song? Yeah, like a song that you know. Yeah, you have a song that you know that you can play that's like good. Yeah, sure. Good. All right. Let me, uh, I got a.

Do you have songs saved on there? Yeah. Can you save songs on there? You could save loops. But can you save a song? Not the, I mean, I have the song saved on my computer. So you plug this into the computer. And it saves it.

So I wrote an album called, uh, songs. Did I, piano songs by a man who doesn't have Do you need help with that? Yeah, I need to use about a thousand dollars.

Okay. You want to EP credit? You win, Chris? Nobody presents. I'm pretty sure Noam's not in on this one. This is nice. This is what you felt that day fishing.

Yeah. This is what you fed. I'm catching fish. Hand over fist. Having a time of my life. I throw the worm in And they grab it away. I don't know what to do.

This is good, like, like, PlayStation 1 or like Nintendo, like fucking, like a racing game music. Yeah. You know, like a, like racing through space. Yeah, and a ship. Yeah. Dodging shit. Shooting stuff. Shooting stuff.

Being chased a little bit. Right? Yeah. Going around a planet. Yeah, you got to do like a spin move and shoe. Sipping through a monster's mouth. Yes. But going out the other side.

All right, got it. Let me hear your song. I thought I was Japanese. I thought I was Japanese. I am not Japanese. I am something else. Something like that. You know that?

That's a more? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the lyrics. Did you imagine if Tommy was here right now? No angry. He wouldn't have made it this far. As soon as he unzipped.

this thing he would have been out the door. You guys got to stop trying to... Yeah, if that wasn't like a special prosciutto from Italy, he would be like, I'm out of here. Yeah, I don't... I'm out of comedy. This is what I do now. I just... Why do you... I don't think you're... I think you're in comedy. You're fucking with this thing.

You're in... You're in the red hot center. You're on the you're on the leading edge. You're 30 years before what comedy's going to become. Yeah. Yeah. Reggie Watts is out of business. Oh, yes. That's why I bought it. There's a vacuum. You got to fill it.

G-Man's in. Yeah, you got to grow your hair. You need those hair things now. You're going to get big, long, kooky hair. I want to get a big bandana. Yeah, bandana would be good. Now, what are we got going on here? This is good.

Come on. Get something off of this, Greg. I want to feel you with this one. Come on. We got the wrong, you're playing the wrong instrument here. Yeah, you keep playing like this shit. It needs to have a real 80s sound to it. Right?

We're in, this is like a blade runner shit. Yeah. I'm driving down the car. We just, yeah. One of our, one of the officers just died, our informants.

Yeah, just lights. Yeah, me and you are kind of just, we're not talking, but we're talking. Yeah. Right? And the things are flying by. What the hell happened back there?

I don't know, man. It wasn't my fault. Fight. Not your fault. You said it was going to be a clean exchange. It's supposed to be a clean fight, dude. But it wasn't. It's not my fault.

What am I going to do? I love them too, man. Oh, man. We got to get to try. Tracy's. We can't get to Tracy's. We go there

and the cover's blown. And the whole thing we've been working up for the last two years is gone. What can you do? We've got to get

to the big man first. Get to the big man. All right. How are we going to do that? I don't know. Maybe Derek's got to get to the big man. Go to Derek's place.

Get to Derek's house. Go to Derek's. We'll go to Derek's. This is what we do. I got it. We'll go to Derek's. We'll ask him. Who's the last guy that he talked to?

We need to find out. Look at me, man. Stay with me, bro. I can't do this, man. We can't do it. We can't do it. We're going to find out the last person he talked to. And we find out that guy, then we get to the big man, and then we save her.

You understand? Are you in or are you out? I'm in. Are you in? I'm in. I'm in. He's in. God damn it.

Let's go. All right, you got to cut it. I feel like a fraud. All right. They just played... I think that was fucking great. Oh, they just played music? They just played some songs.

I was like, this is good. Part of me was pissed because I didn't get the opportunity. I was like, he's killing it. I was like, this is the greatest. I want this in a movie. Dude, me and you, dude, when you said you're in, I want, are you in? I'm in. I was fucking going to save her life.

You didn't hear the difference between that and this? What were they playing? We just Googled Royalty 3 free synth music. Oh, my God. That was great. Yeah. You should do that and put it in there. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I really upset myself. You could have soloed over that, too. That was perfect. I had to just turn the volume off and just go like this. None of that was you? Well, there's a clear difference in the music if you listen back. I don't know. That first melody you had was close.

All right. Listen. That was them too, probably. No, no, no. It's all. I want you to take us out right now. We're going to do, we're going to do your credits. We're going to do everybody's credit.

Where are you going to be? So can you have any music for that? Sure. I mean, I make, this is all on the fly. All right, on the fly. Too loud. See, that's close. That's cool.

Right there, okay. This would have laid in nice. Chris? Oh, I could make something good. Chris. What is that? Is that your dates? Yeah.

What is your website, the first website ever? It's just black. I'm going to be a. in Seattle and Portland at the end of September. This is why I like you, you do. There's no oomph in you. You don't need bells and whistles.

Why would you put bells and whistles? I don't know. So people can read it? It's just for information. You know what I mean? You're one of my straight dope. You're one of my favorite people in the world. Tell people, if you can read that fucking typewriter text to use.

There you go. I like a bold. Here we go. Go to September. Scroll down to the month. We're in September, guys. Saratoga Comedy Festival We were just there

Emerald City Seattle Washington October He's in the Neon Room at Helium Portland October 1st through the 3rd November Harrisburg

I'm doing that room Yeah comedy zone Is it good? Yeah Oh good Yeah I've only done it once Helium Philadelphia

Did you cancel that Because of your special I canceled it So it's going back on my website Because I want to play that I'm doing it Yeah helium I think the weekend after Thanksgiving. Philly.

That's great. 27, 29th, Addison Improv, Dallas, Texas, August 7th, and 9th. What's the website called? It's A-Krisoconner.com. You spice that up a little bit, right? I guess you need a little oomph on that. Yeah, I thought that was clever. Nice headshot.

20 years ago. Make sure you go check your mom. He's fucking hilarious. Greg Stone. Where are you going to be, Greg? I do a live stream at 3 in the morning where I just do this on YouTube. Every night? Three nights a week. Why three in the morning?

Because that's usually when I'm the highest. Don't you have children? Yeah, the kids, they wait me up, they scream, and I just go to my keyboard, and I just pry into my orchid. Buddy, I think you're on to something. Yeah. I do.

Well, we're doing a show. Can I see that, actually? Sure. How funny it would it be if he knew how to play this? I have no idea. From a child, and he creates an amazing song right now. Like, you have a little bit of length in that chord, right? Or should we switch seats?

No. Dude, that's a Takatami. That has a length. What is it called again? It's an orchid. It's an orchid. So here, I can give you a quick run through. Yeah, yeah.

All right, guys, where are you going to be? Just play the Black Keys. It's the easiest way to do anything. Easy. Okay. Where are you going to be? I'm going to be, check this out. Brooklyn Improv.

September 26th. October, I'm at Port Charlotte the 2nd and the 3rd at Versanis. Then I'm going to Boston. I'm going to be at Laugh, Boston, the 16th and the 17th. and then Lake Charles, I'll be, Lake Charles Lafayette, and then I'm in New Orleans. I've got a run down there.

I'm very excited about, and of course I'm shooting my special. Guys, all the people that listen to this, hear it, see it. I want you to go to Uptown pvd.com or punchup.com or punchup.com. Live slash Robert Kelly. Get your tickets. December 12th.

I'm shooting my special at the Uptown Theater in Providence, Rhode Island. I'm shooting my special in New England. I'm excited. I want Massachusetts. I want New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, Rhode Island. I want you guys all coming to this. Fill this up with doing one show only. It's going to be epic.

I'm very excited about it. We have a VIP package. We have tickets for only 20-something bucks. We have all ranges of tax brackets to go. So please get your tickets now. It's selling out. Danny, what are you got? I have a bunch of headlining shows coming up.

I'm going to be in Baldwin'sville. New York, October 3rd. I don't even know how to... How do I get a little thing going? What do you mean? Do you have to play something, then loop it? Sorry, Danny. You're all good.

I want to be in Salem. You're really just talked over it. You're supposed to play over it, and you're just like, I don't know how to do this thing. Salem, Massachusetts on October 8th and 10th in Portsmouth in Portsmouth in October 9. Awesome. We're in Portsmouth. I'm doing it, don't tell. Nice.

It's actually the town next to Port Smith, but I'm just saying Port Smith. All right, Cody, what do you got? Follow me on Instagram at Cody the Comic and come see me in Port Charlotte on the 2nd and the 3rd of October opening for Bobby. We're going to have a fun time. Joe, what are you got? Hey, it's Joe. Go to Instagram and type in Jokes Russell.

Thanks. Can't do my actual credits because I really didn't say it. Yeah, please go ahead. Just follow me on Instagram. Greg F. Stone. That's it. Anyways, guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. Please like, follow, subscribe.

Check out these guys. Go to their Instagrams and their websites. And go see us all live. and do stand-up comedy is what we do and if you want to stick around for the show if you want to be in the chat you want to ask these guys questions go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly

and that's how you support the show and that's how you get all the extras and you actually get to be in the chat and be part of the show. You guys are the best fans in the world. Thanks for supporting the show. Chris is killing it right now. It's fucking awesome.

I got no idea what the hell's going on. You guys are the best fans in the world. I'm going to play this in the Patreon right now and come up with a rock and song. So if you want to see that go there, you guys are best fans of the world. We'll see you next time on. You know what, dude.