Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD #661 | Maddy Smith, Yoshi Obayashi, & James Mattern

Episode Date: October 18, 2026

This week on YKWD Yoshi Obayashi returns to the show to discuss his recent trip to Cornell w/ Maddy Smith and James Mattern Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly LIVE FROM THE SHED AND MORE ON PATREON DUDE!!! https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% off with code DUDEat https://takeultra.com #UltraPouches #ad For free shipping on your order & 365-day returns go to https://www.Quince.com/ykwd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what dude live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started a social media podcast. The fact.

The YKWD podcast. YKWD is back again. Old school back in the day where it all started before fun and crazy. This isn't NPR. That's the original. What's up everybody? We're back. It's the You Know What Dude podcast.

YKWD. One of the longest. running podcasts, I mean, out there. Most successful? No. But it can be if right now, if you hit subscribe and you like and you comment, and if you really want to support the show

and get an extra show every week and be live while we filmed this in the chat room and ask the people on the show questions, go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. I think it's five bucks. You can't afford that. I don't know what to fucking tell you about your life. Anyways, we got a great show tonight,

and I'm very excited. people I like, all people who have been on the show before. Danny, who do we got? We have from his special, the Czech spot, James Maddern is in the house. Oh, what up, baby. From Wild and Out and the Mad House podcast, Maddie Smith is back.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. And from the Joe Rogan Experience, YMH, and all his crazy adventures, we have Yoshi Obayashi. Wow. You say my last name right. He did. I forced him to practice for three months. How you doing, buddy? I'm good.

How are you doing? I'm good. Can't complain. How are you? Bobby, come on. The world's my oyster. That's right. Do you know he's going to open up my special?

I'm very honored, buddy. I'm really pumped up. Cool. You're going to crack them up and warm them up. I do, baby. Yeah, it's going to be great. Yeah, because I need someone who's going to go up, be funny, be able to fucking switch in and out. Yep.

You know, get people fucking ready. I had Mike Figgs on mine. That's terrible. No, it was great. He was great. Whatever. He was great. Is Louis filming this one again for you?

No, that hurts. Yoshi. That's wild. Is Netflix? Nope. No, no. Louis, no. Who's financing Ted Seranos?

I couldn't even say his name right. James Matter? Yeah. Ted Serrano's? Isn't that the fucking cookie company? No, Sarano. Who the guy owns Netflix? Oh, the guy.

How do you read about that? I don't know. My special's not on fucking Netflix. Who cares? It'll be better. Well, I'm doing it myself, Yosh. Okay, sorry, I didn't know. No, well, no.

Well, now that you brought it up in a very weird way, I'm doing, I'm producing it myself. Okay. I actually got the theater before I even had anybody. I just booked a theater, the uptown theater in Rhode Island. And then I called somebody like, well, who's directing it? I go, I don't know. And well, who's going to produce it?

I don't know. Well, who's going to do it? I go, I have no one. And then the great Leah Comer. who is Louis's partner. I was like, I'll do it. And I was like, ah, you're in. And then Rebecca Trent and Christine

decided to jump in, which I love. And then we got a great director and a great, great sound. We got a bunch of people came out of one people. Fantastic. One person. One person. One person. That's how life works, Yosch. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

When is it again? This guy really just wants to take me down A couple of watches. December 12th. It's a good interview. December 12th, December 12th, Rhode Island,

Uptown Theater. Okay. If you want to go, you can go to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly and get yourself a ticket, Yosh. It's going to be fun,

baby. I'll get you a ticket. If you come, I'm a fucking, you backstage VIP. Okay. All right, just don't freak my family out.

I met them before. My son loves Yoshi. Really? Yeah, it's weird. He watches your stuff? No, no. You better not. Personally.

Yeah, Anna. Yeah. I remember I brought you. She over and my kid was young. And when he left, he goes, who was that guy? That's a good friend of mine. I was like, do you like, do you like, I do. Max loves you.

Wait, are you serious? Yeah, Max likes you. Why would you say that? I don't know. I mean, it's been a while. What's not to like about you except your posture, your face, and your energy? Great. I love that your friends are here and they're laughing because they know exactly what I'm saying.

Why did you bring kid and play with you? What? Those two. You have your friends. And these are your friends. Now, what's your name? Come over to the microphone. You mind if he just gets the mic for a second?

Come over here. Stay right there, he'll lean in. Arke. What? Arke. RK? Like me, Robert Kelly. RK is your name.

Your first name is RK. Those are my initials. Talking to the microphone. Those are my initials. That's your initials. And what's your name? Come on over here. I'm Jake.

By the way, I'd like to say, I've known him for you. he met him three days ago, so I'm more of a... You brought a guy in here you don't even know? No, no, I've known him. You've got him three days ago. I know them through Russell Peters. Oh, you know R.K. RK is through Russell, right? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. RK, can I... Come over here again, RK. I would assume you're Indian. Yes. Yes. I don't want to assume, but I just assume.

I just went up to... I have a house up in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. And it's foliage time up in the White Mountains. There was a lot of Indians. What the fuck is going on? I mean, listen to me, RK. There was a lot of Indians everywhere. Like, it's like, is foliage a thing that you guys?

I can vouch that they like hiking. All right, well, listen. You see them a lot. I swear to God, there were so many Indians up there. What's going on, dude? This is great. I feel the same. Like, Indians are everywhere.

Good answer, RK. Bobby, this is great that you have him representing all of India. And right now there's like a revolution going on in the country. You're like, what's with them in shrubbery? Is there any revolution going on? I mean, there's some protests happening in India. That cockroach thing. Cockroach is cockroaches?

So the head of Supreme Court. Did you say Adolf? The head of the head off. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's back? He's back. God damn it. He's settled on India now, Bobby.

Vlako Zeele, Flakal! All right, so what is it again? The Chief Justice of... Bang. Thanks for dumbing it down for me. Chief Justice of Supreme Court of India called the Gen Z movement cockroaches. That they were like...

The Gen Z's of cockroaches? Yes. They are. And they formed a party called Cockroach Janata Party. It's like a big thing... A cockroach party? Yeah. Really?

And it has like 30, 40 million followers on Instagram. Like cockroaches? Yes. Really? Yeah. So the Gen Z, they're called the cockroach party, and they're taking over India. I mean, they were doing a lot of protests. One of the union minister, who is a high cabinet rank, resigned from his position after they did a huge protest for like a month.

I didn't get any of that. I swear to God, I was trying. What happened? It's not you, dude. No, it's my accent. No, it's 100% you. Your accent. It's not me.

It's you. No. There was a papal leak in India. A papa leak. Papper. Papper. Paper. Paper. Paper.

Paper. Paper leak. Fuck, all. We're getting. Dude, we're getting there. We're making progress. We're making progress. There's a paper leak.

The cockroach. You can join it if you want. I'm going to. Are you part of the cockroach party? Or you can't say because you don't want them to know. I mean, I'm following them. You follow them closely. You follow them closely.

Yes. See if they take over. Then you're going to join. Maybe. That's why I feel about. socialist communist, communist, Marxist. If they take over, I'm fucking, I'm in. I'm in for that.

Until that, I believe in America, God damn it. So say that again. So the paper... There is a medical examination for students for all over India. And the examination paper got leaked. And then there were like 20, 30 students ended their life because they practiced years

to get passed. They killed themselves. Yes. Really? Yes. Because they take it very seriously. because that will decide their future. Right.

And the government of India didn't cancel the paper or anything. So all the youth in India formed a huge moment to bring justice. So they kill themselves because they failed the test? For the, like, for both reasons. One, like the paper got leaked and the who doesn't deserve the ranks got the higher marks because they paid or like a scam happened at that time. Right. So and the people who prepared for a couple of years.

and everything, they felt they were like, they lost their mind. I mean, they were, like, depressed and everything. So they killed themselves? Yeah. How'd they kill themselves? I'm sorry, is that a matter of question? Like suicide.

We're all wondering. I'm just, suicide. Was it all the same? Was it a mass thing? Not a mass thing. So just they did it individually? It's like India is a fucking big country,

so it's like everywhere around different parts of India. You can't keep track. I don't know how the Indians killed themselves the way we kill ourselves. Was there any erotic affixiation? I mean, Americans kill, a building. So it's different, right? If something goes wrong, you guys take a gun and kill people.

We're fucking American. No other people. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking boom, bang. We're out. See ya. Boom, boom.

Bye-bye. How do you guys do it? We just go by ourselves, I think, then... Go by yourself? I hope so. I hope you don't bring the family. Pills or... No, they hang.

The hang. Oh, yeah. Or the jump over. Old school. Wow. What was that last part you said? Or the jump over the building. Oh, they jump off a building.

My friend... I think that's a selfish way to go. Because you might land on someone? Yeah, you might fuck somebody's car up. Right. You know what I mean? Got his brakes done. All of a sudden there's a fucking dude on his hood totaled.

He's got to deal with that shit. Because this guy just wanted to jump off a building. If you got to jump off a building, jump off the side, not the front of the back. I look like you're worried about a car not landing on a Nana. Is a lot of the suicides in public? Not in public. Like, it's not. I mean, then they'll stop those things happening, right?

God damn it, really. But one of my friends also killed himself in front of me, like, when I was 14 years old. Oh, my God. He killed himself in front of you. Yeah, when I was 14 years old, like, that was the day. I used to live in a residential school, boarding school. And I don't know what was the exact reason, but it was an expensive school and everything. And he felt his parents couldn't afford the whole fees and everything.

Stress. And then, at 5 in the morning, he just, looked at me and then walked to there and then boom. Oh my God. Out of the window? So it's a, no, like inside the building. Like a balcony kind of? Yeah, a balcony.

Jumped off the balcony? I tried to kill myself once. But I was only in the second floor. My mother said, you're just going to hurt yourself. Yeah, no, she has to take you in. No, I just have to get a broken arm. Yeah. But I'm sorry to hear that, dude.

You really bummed the whole show out. I appreciate what you just did. Yeah, totally. Yeah, let's all go around and share suicide stories. Can we do some prank calls with you real quick just to get the show back on track? Yeah, please. Yeah. We can scam some people.

There you go. Fucking, I love you. All right. Well, it was nice to meet you, R.K. Thank you for sitting down. I can listen to you talk all day. I know. I'm in a meditative state.

Oh, my God. I'll see you. Feeling good. All right, buddy. Have fun. Who are you going to meet? Oh, you're going to stay now because you're fucking on the show. I know.

I was all blah, blah, blah, blah. Trying to be famous. That's what it is. Getting a couple laughs. You get a little, yeah, you get a little couple laughs. You're all juiced up now. Right. What's that?

My friend doesn't need me. Did you just meet him a couple days ago, Yoshi? No, no, I'm doing a couple years. Oh, why did he say a couple days ago? I think they met a couple days ago. Oh, you guys met a couple days ago. So you didn't even know him. But they look like they worked together.

Are you a comedian too? Yes. Oh, cool. Where are you from? Oh, really? Nice. Upstate. I would have never guessed that.

I know. It's kind of a shithole respectfully. There's a tough town, though. No, yeah, it's nice. Sorry. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry, buddy. I'll tell you why, dude.

You're forgettable. No, I'm sorry, dude. I do love you. Your mustache is rocking, dude. I respect your stash. You know what I mean? RK, you should take some tips. RK with that stash came over.

I would never kill myself. I think the kid looks good. He's doing well. I think you lose good. But with that little stash going on, The fucking great. Yeah, Bollywood.

But that cake can pull off that stash with that head of hair he is. I think Yoshi's panicking. Listen. No, no. Moving things around on the table. He was freaking out. I was, yeah.

Is this the time where Yoshi's just going to snap my neck? Yeah. I don't find this funny. Here it comes. Anyways, yeah, there's so many Indians up and I was,

we were literally fishing in our fishing spot. I was up hiking and stuff and there was a ton of Indians just everywhere. And I was just, Like so many Indians, I love Indians, by the way. Fucking love you guys. Love you, you're smart, your engineers, your doctors.

The guy who did my stomach surgeon, R-Pan, Indian guy, big fan. R-K. R-K. Awesome. My pan. And, but there was so, you know, when there's a, when you're somewhere in a group of somebody else comes, I know that it's mostly up in the White Mountains, it's just me. It's like people like you, actually.

You know, hello, hello. But when there's just a big group of another people, you kind of go, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? Well, the West Catskills has a lot of Hasidic Jews. Yeah. When you're like, what's going on? What's happening around here?

And there was so many Indians, we were literally fishing in an Indian woman. We just came out of nowhere. And she's like, is this private property? And I was like, no, it's not. I'm just shocked. I've never seen an Indian. And then like 15 of Indians. That was the first day.

You said that there? I've never seen. An Indian. In the wild. You know where we were. In the wild. Not in the wild. Well, it was kind of in the wild.

You're in the forest, Bob. He's a foot from the driveway. I mean, they named it the White Mountains for a reason. That's right. So they didn't name to the kind of Brown Mountains. But they, we were there, and all of a sudden, like, 15 other Indian people just came out, and they had, like, cameras and drones. And they were like, and I think it's because they don't have seat, like, they don't have fall.

You know what I mean? Right, so it's a thing. I think it's a thing where it's like, oh, my God, foliage. Let's go see leaves change. I also think they're an inherently healthful people. What? Like, they are healthy.

What was the first word you used? Inherently? Yeah. It's pretty standard word. Nothing. I thought you were speaking fucking his language. Inherently? The people.

I feel like they're healthy, so they're like, let's get out. Really? Yeah. Indians are healthy? I think so. Their food's healthier. They can tea all the time. I'm like, help me out here.

I watch a lot of Indian cooking on Instagram, those little... And they just throwing a bunch of shit into a thing. True. There's a bunch of shit. Sticking into the thing and then handing it to a guy and like, okay. They seem like more like it's good to get out. Bobby, what if it was a group that was going to do suicide in the mountains? Oh, yeah, maybe you were involved in a Jones case.

Maybe something like that. Or maybe they're like, we're not going back to India with the cockroaches. How fun are they're going to do it? They're so pressured to be smart and do well. My kid will quit school tomorrow. If I said, dude, you're good. He'd be like fucking great. You get a bowl of cereal and call it a fucking day.

Americans, we don't like anything. We don't like school. I know. American kids are like, fuck it. But other countries are like school is important. You can't be a piece of shit. We need more intimidation. What?

Another pretty easy one. I thought you meant with Indians. You don't fuck with Indian. I tell you that. Indians, Indian dudes, let me just say this. I don't be a fan. not, I never look, you never look at it like you right there, right? RK.

He doesn't, he's not like, you know, shredded or, you never see a real shredded Indian guy. Even their action heroes still have a little potbelly. Sometimes you do. That's true. Wait, what Indians, Jay Shetty renowned? What Indian action heroes are there? Dude, R.R.K. That was, Kumal. I love that movie.

Kumal is shredded. He's shredded after many years of making it happen. He got American shredded with steroids. Yes. That's not fair. I'm talking about, I love, I love Indian action movies. They're really fucking great. But even the stars are kind of a little chubby.

Little chubby, right? Am I lying? RK. Am I lying? Yeah. Yeah. It's not a big thing to be fucking ugh. I like that, though.

But they're softer. Remember 80s wrestling? Like Dusty Rhodes was a big fat bastard. It felt better that he'd be. Yeah, we only got shredded shredded in the last like 30 years. Yeah. Now it's like... Remember the original Superman?

He was a barrel-chested chubby. I know he's regular. Yeah, regular dude. He's like a guy who was in Bay Ridge. Well, he ended up with other problems, too, but yeah. Yeah, you look. A regular guy in Bay Ridge. Yeah, it's, you know, hey, getting a bagel.

Now people are jacked. Jacked. Peptides. You guys are peptides? Everyone, it's all people talk about. I was at Soul Joel's wedding. And you guys know, you know Jimmy Schubert, right? Yeah.

It's every word out of his mouth was peptides. I got to cut you, get more prime rate. Everything was peptide. Yeah, peptide that. It's almost like he's getting 10% of every peptide that's being bomb. Like, it's crazy. Yeah, big peptide. peptides are good.

Peptide and Florida. So I'm playing old folk homes and cruises and peptides. That's a good life. That's a good life. Peptides in Florida. And then he left 40 minutes later. It was the quickest cameo, weirdest cameo ever in a way. He had to go home and meal prep.

You had to go to bed. Yeah, it's exhausted. No, but it was weird just to see all the Indian people up there. Oh, here we go back to this. Back to this. And foliage. I want you to look into that for me. What were they doing, Bobby?

Fishing or? Yeah, no, they're not fishing. They were just up there for the foliage. Yeah, looking at leaves. Like, if you go up to New Hampshire right now, it's just, like, amazing. Yeah. Like, the leaves changing. It just looks crazy.

And it's beautiful. The weather's great and shit like that. Yeah. I think it must be because they don't have, right? In India, you don't have, like, uh, foliage. Hang on. Get over here, Akie. What would you call it?

Climate. Are there trees in India, okay? Come on. We don't know nothing. Depends on the region. I love the region. I love the way you talk. One of my favorite accents.

Yeah. Good. So, like, I'm from southern part of India. Okay. My hometown is a coastal town, so I'm surrounded by one side of ocean, the other side rivers. Mm-hmm. So. Oh, humid?

Fun, like, we have coconut trees, plenty of seafood. Okay. Yeah, they have, like, the coconuts. They don't have, like, the maples and the things. Elm, oak. Elm, oh, yeah. We don't have fancy colors. Can I tell you?

Japanese maple. My son, hey Siri, how many people live in Massachusetts? Ready for this? That was great. According to the U.S., Census Bureau, Massachusetts has an estimated population of about 7.15 million people. This estimate is based on data from July 2025. That's my Siri. That's your Siri?

I love the Indian accent. I love it so much. And we were out there and all these. All these Indians people showed up And my son was like, hey, Siri. Oh my God, oh my God. What's the temperature today? Today is 75 degrees, sunny.

I was like, you son of a bitch. Oh, my God. I couldn't have set that up. I didn't even know where you're coming. That's amazing. All right. Boom. All right.

Well, thank you, R.K. When we need you, we're going to call you back. Yeah, yeah. What nationality are you, bro? Black and white. Oh, nice. Good old-fashioned American. Black and white.

Mom, dad. Yeah, you can tell. That's usually. the combo, isn't it? When you were, when, when, wait. I met you, my dad when I was 17. Oh, oh, oh.

You met you, that's fucked up. He goes, I met my dad when I was 17. He's very black. That's just a terrible thing to say. He's black. He can say it. Well, he can say it because it's his dad. And I can say it because I'm on wild and out.

Yeah, that's right. You date black guys. Hilarious. Date him. Bang him. Yeah. That's what's up. Um, this is fucking Yoshi.

This is why I love Yoshi. He gave me this shirt. It's crazy, dude. Oh my God. You guys are... It's absolutely crazy. B-A-D, bad. You don't know about Yoshi.

Do you know Yoshi? I thought you were going to say... I don't know what you were going to say. I thought you're going to say, you don't know about the Cornell something. I was like... I'm trying to have a lighthearted time right now. No, I know about Yoshi.

What do you know about Yoshi? That he... He what? We just met. No, what do you know about him? That he's like crazy cool. It's not crazy. Such a you response.

That is freaking awesome. Do you know you? Yoshi's edgy as fog, right? Bobby, I've known Yoshi probably 23 years. Really? Vegas. He would come to Vegas and do our shows. Right before I decided to leave Vegas

and move to either L.A. or New York, he's sitting there with like a bowl of noodles. Did you say either? I don't know what I speak. Pick one for the story. Yeah. What are you giving us options? Was it a MEDlib?

All right, guys. Wait a minute. When I was going to move to either L.A. New York. Oh, I'm so sorry, guys. Multiple choice. No one has ever decided see none of the above.

Comedy in either New York or L.A. and wanted to see what they like better. Yadda, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that was never an offer. Well, for the story, just pick one. All right. Before I was going to L.A. to try it off. We don't need to know that part.

I'm too worried. It's like my goddamn accident. Back story. So he was like, I'll help you with whatever. And he got me some stage time in L.A., but I settled on here. And we were at the porn convention. Yeah. Oh.

I could say that right. Yoshi was loosely loosely affiliated. Loosely. with it. So we were hanging out the Venetian and it was a fun time. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Yeah. Great time. That was 20 years ago? 20 plus years ago. I think we were doing some of like Howard Stern's related shows in Vegas and West Coast. Yeah. We ended up in a room of like a 21 year old porn director having a party. He was the youngest guy to be namina. He had probably three teeth and they looked like nerds. Like it was disgusting.

And it's like he's telling like talent what to do sexually. And it's like, like, just the worst mouth ever. Best part about porn. You don't need teeth. I agree. Makes it better. For a director, apparently, no. So, yes, I'm known him forever, man.

Nice. He's a, I mean, one of the most interesting guys I know. He was just at the, uh, you text me. I hear from him, remember once in a while. He'd be like, I'm coming in town for this. But it's never, it's always some court case. It's always a trial. It's like a trial.

Really? And you went to the, where did you go again? You went to the Lindsay Clancy? No, I went Been to Puffy You went to Dittyy The first four days And I was there

Two weeks later When Tanya was walking out And then I went to Since the documentary Coming out this week I went to Elizabeth Holmes Sentencing Oh nice

And then I'm going to Russell Brand's case in London It just started Two days Russell Brand? Yeah, he's rapist Oh I thought I'm sorry

I thought you said Russell Peters I was like No no no No no I was like what did he He's not that Indian You know You know

refutation. But, yeah, so I went to... Russell Pryant, I don't know what's happening with Russell Brand.

He's like a multiple accused rape. Yeah. From 1999 to 2009 and... Rape? Yeah. Yeah, like,

full rape. What do you mean? You know, it's like, oh, did he, didn't she? He raped. Oh, it's full rape. Yeah. There's a full rape.

A full rape. Yeah. What the fuck? What is it? Full rape. Is that like... You know, like, when some people,

some people, there's like a debate about what happened. I'm pretty sure Russell Brand's like full This is just full rape Yeah you know like Danny Masterson Like full agree Yeah when it came out I went to that case too

Oh nice wow That's awesome So that one That was a harborder of good news That was a good one because That was a good one yeah Oh hang on speaking of rape Hang on one's

Did you see the name? Hello Oh my God Voss Yeah you know I do my podcast Tuesday nights Who's this? I don't know why I forget Maybe it's just because

It's just not rememberable. I don't know, but I'm sorry to bother you. Who do you have his guests? We have Maddie's on the show. We have Yoshi's on the show. What was that? One of them was just clapping for her. I thought you just lost your mind.

And we have James is on the show, James Madden. Ooh. Oh, James, good. The one's, Maddie and Yoshi. Maddie Smith and Yoshi. Yes. Are you rapping now? No one trusted any of this.

That's unbelievable. Thank you, buddy. And we have Yoshi's friends here. Mm-hmm. Oh, my goodness. It's an amazing night. R.K., come here. Say hi.

Oh, no. Here we go. Come over to me. Say hi to him. His name's R.K. Say hi. Hi, Rich. Yeah, come over closer to the mic.

Hi. Is he one of Yoshi's friends? Yeah, say hi. Hey, is you one of Yoshi's friends? Yeah, say hi to him. Hi, Rich. I'm one of Yoshi's friend. Oh, God.

What disease did you bring over? That is just, what the fuck would you say that for? I'm sorry, I slipped. He was an accident. You slipped. I hope you slip and have an accident. He's a very nice guy. Rich, he came to see the foliage.

What? Foilage. I have a public education from Nevada, Robert. I can't speak English at all. It's not foilage. Foley edge. Sorry. I didn't realize you went to the best school in America there, Maddie.

One of them. Is he hiding behind a plant? What? What? Is he hiding behind a plant? Who? R.K.? What?

Are you trying to be... Are you trying to mean your feeling? He's an Indian guy. What does that mean? Well, I mean, he is. He is Asia. He lives in Asia. He's the best.

He's an Indian guy. I don't know. Why are you going to do this? All right. Well, I'm going to get back to the show. You know I do it every fucking Tuesday at 8.30. I love it. All right. Well, say goodbye to everybody. Jesus Christ, he really, son of a bitch.

He's bored. I apologize for that, R.K. Was he right? You guys don't like Pakistan, right? You what? I was funny. I could listen to him talk all day long. Him or Rich?

Not Rich. Put them together. I can listen to Rich for five minutes. Anyways, so yeah, he's, you're in, you're in town. Who got, he said, Danny Messerson? What's going on with this Cornell thing? What do I mean? That's why, are you in town for that?

Such a wild thing just to throw to him. I want to hear about the Danny Masters. Should we ask RK to explain what's going on with Carnet? Is that the rape case? Yeah, that's the same of them? Yeah, there's like the girl that got, uh, raped? Raped?

Yeah, it's two year anniversary's next week. Is your word you're supposed to... Two year anniversary, yeah. You're not supposed to say, you're not supposed to say, like, killed or dead. You're supposed to be un-alive? Right, right, right. What's the one for rape? Grape.

Unconcepted? Yeah. Should it be, didn't ask? Yeah, she was didn't ask. She was... Didn't ask? Is rape too harsh? I think so, yeah.

You can't say that. I like it. What? I like it. You like what? The word. Oh. I thought we were going to have different conversation over the same.

Yeah, RK just got it smiling. All three of you guys are like, wait, what? I like it too. I jump on you. I jump on you. So how many pouches a day do you need to feel normal? Upgrade to ultra pouches and see what you've been missing. Ultra pouch is a design for mental clarity and enhanced focus.

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Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. When Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know, it was, you know what, dude. Why do you have this fascination with the cases? Like, why? What is it that makes you want to go to the trial?

What do you get out of going to the trial? Well, you know, because I work in adult business for a long time, right? And then after that. So rape and murderers is just close to porn? I mean, they all have one thing come. It's like fantasy. The reason why they do them, right? And I guess I do other people's podcasts and work on documentary and things like that.

So I studied in like case studies, you know. So when I consult on stuff like that, I use it as examples, you know. Oh, so you're doing it for work? For stories, you mean? Yeah, like right now I'm consulting a guy in Washington, D.C. He's writing a book about sexual proclivities of terrorists. So I've been helping them for like three years, you know. First of all, good of getting that word out, by the way.

That was part. Proclivity. I know you thought about before you said it. Yeah. And then you really knows me. You went. Yeah. Proclivity.

Yes. And you got it out. And you thought about what it meant. I know what it means. You son of a bitch. I know what your sexual proclivities are. Do you really? Yeah.

No, you don't. What do you think my sexual proclivity? Oh, blow jobs. Fuck, you know. I just don't get sucked off. I fucking. How did you know? Let me guess a blow job.

Isn't that every guy? Sexual proclivity? Yeah. No, I like, I'll tell you what I do like. Yeah. I like kissing. I'm pro. What fuck is that phase for, Maddie?

What is that phase for? Kissing. You're being sexist. I'm looking sexy. All the stuff that's going on. Laughing, we're busting balls. We're at the table at the comedy cellar. That's the way too.

Look how nervous you got. I'm freaking up. Because the Shane thing. What's Shane thing? Yeah. The girls being horrors at the gym? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I just like a whore at the gym. You like, you dress like a whore at the gym? Yeah, I feel like you... It's only girls who go there. I feel like you wear shorts at the gym. Denim shorts. Yeah, yeah. You wear like overalls to the gym with nothing on.

Barefoot for some reason. Yeah, you have like, you have like Birkenstocks. Yeah. Throwing a kettlebell around. Do you go to the gym? Yeah. Yoshi, you don't go to the gym. I go on more stools.

What are you doing on your phone, Yosh? I'm just looking up something. Oh. No, no, no, but go ahead. What are you looking up? Wait, no, because we were asking Yoshi questions, and we got... So you were talking... Oh, yes, sexual proclivities of...

Hey, man, I got to know what you were looking up. Was it sexual proclivities? No, no, no. I was trying to figure out who you look like. Oh. Oh. Here we go. Julia Roberts now?

No, no. She still looks great, so fuck you, bitch. That was a compliment. No, it's not insulting. You reminded me her. Who is it? Who's that? I'll take it.

Let me see. She's fine my... Isn't she from the Last of Us? Yes. And don't people hate her in that? I mean, oh, yes, but... They didn't say your personality, you're fucking asshole. I know I take everything to me personally.

You do look like an English man. What the fuck? Actor. What? Who's the guy that was in the jackal? Who's that actor? Oh. Right?

You know what I'm talking about. Yes. Eddie won an Oscar. Who? He won an Oscar winner? Yes. Is it Eddie Raymond? No.

Yes. He played the Carlos de Jaco The Stephen Hawking guy You do look like him too I look like Stephen Hawking Oh no wait a minute You look at the guy You look like Stephen Hawking

And that guy You look like that guy Oh my god I don't look like that guy Stop it Smile Oh I don't Stop I mean am I crazy

Am I look at me Yoshi Literally like if I No she doesn't look like If I cut my hair I would look like I could transcom me Yeah you I'd be like Matt What's up dude

I'm mad So you're He looks like a... I'm telling you right now, he played a transvestite in a movie, and he was a very sexy woman. I'm saying you're sexy. Oh, yes.

I find you sexy. But he looks... He has very, very... I'm saying... No, yeah, he has feminine. He has feminine qualities, not you having male qualities. Well, I think the most attractive people are, like,

kind of both. Both? Like, the hottest chicks, like, kind of look like guys. Yeah. I say the same thing. Yeah. What? Now you know my proclinies.

I know. See how I pulled that out of you? What's his proclivities? I bet's. Hand holding. Yeah, take guesses. What? Hand holding?

Yeah. I'm weird. I like kissing too, Bobby. Can I say it's the point where I'm watching porn? Here we go against the kissing. It's not kissing and porn. I kind of turn it off. Really?

I like a little bit of passion. That shit. Fast forward. You don't like kissing? Fast forward through the kissing. Really? And I don't like kissing noises, respectfully to your craft. And film.

What are the kissing noises? When people are like, you're watching Mad Men, it's like, I don't like that. You have, you have misophonia. Yeah, I do. I know you do. Yeah. Yeah, because you don't like mouth sounds. No.

Like when I'm an Uber and the driver has a hard candy. My wife used to get really mad at me when I ate her pussy. I'd eat it like this. Yeah. What is it about that you don't like? I don't even know. It's been from a young age. It's a disease.

It's called misophonia and they don't like mouth sound. It's like when somebody eats and doesn't, like my wife will fucking get violently angry at me. Yeah. If I eat with my mouth open. Yep, yep, yep. She would literally go, shut your fucking mouth. Or like mouth too full. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Popcorn swimming. There's something that drives them fucking insane. It's something like. And they can't control the anger. Right. Yeah.

Because it's, you know you can leave, but you also want to stay because it's like edging. You're like, eh, ugh. Does that mean you don't like those videos? What's that? A-S-M-R-A-S-M-R. No, I'm good on those. Like that drives you nuts, right? And muckbangs and muckbangs and stuff like that.

Oh, muckbang must drive you fucking nuts. Disgusting. Do you know the muck bags? Some. Some cultures, like in Asia, it's a sign of respect when you make sound while eating. Yeah, you jump in Japan. Slurping and such. Yeah.

Slurping on a ramen is you're supposed to. Yes. Now, if I'm at a restaurant and people are slurping, I'm fine with it. It's more like a quiet space where like it was me and Danny in the room and he was over there with and I couldn't see it. It's like when you can't see it. Yeah. That you're like, or breathing or living or existing. This is how Danny breathes.

Yeah, I'm done. I would be like, you have to leave. From very young age? Yeah, when I was like seven, I remember. I wonder what's interesting. I don't like my parents. You what? How do you get there?

My mom would piss me off, so then she would, like, chew like that. It's not like a weird stepfather kind of... No, uncle. I don't have daddy issues. Okay. No. I was never ready for anything. Don't ask him about his family.

Boring. Don't ask him about his family. He's trying to get a story out of me for his stuff. He's not going to get a story out of it unless you get unasked. Oh, wow. Ask. Okay. See how that flows?

Yeah, it does. I like it. What's up? Well, can I ask this? So, Yoshi, did you start going to these trials and all that? Because, you know, he's in a true crime podcast. Years ago, I'm listening. I'm binge listening.

You get it. You know him more than us. I want to win this competition. Oh, is this a John Lawson? The August Ames, suicide of August Ames, he's in it. He's like one of the people. And Yoshi says, and they throw to him, and I'm like on the subway, throw my arm in here. Yoshi says this.

I know. The proclivities. And then he brought in RK Kinch it. And RK was like, what do you want to say? I also like to blowjump. I like a blowjub.

I like the Kootie Pai. But he's like a big part of that. So I'm wondering, did it start there? Yeah, it was like, got how many for like top 10 podcast that 2019? It's a great podcast. Wow, top 10. Yeah.

Newsweek, Time Magazine. John Rons is a big writer and they interviewed me for that. And this is before, like, there was a million goddamn true crime. I agree, this was before. Like, this is on the tale of what was the big one that everyone liked initially.

True crime? A serial. Yeah. Pakistani guy. Yes. A murderer. Is he? Allegedly.

In Baltimore. Yeah. Kill the Korean girl. Yeah, he's still in the clink, right? What was she doing? What the fuck? No, like, why didn't he kill her? Oh, they were a relationship.

You don't know that story? Bobby? I thought you meant. I know. I apologize. What annoying shit she did did deserve to get killed. Killed her supposedly at a shopping mall and then buried her in that park in Baltimore. You know how lovely Baltimore is?

No, that part was huge. Yeah, it's one of the first ones. Here's the thing with murdering somebody. Yeah. Tell me. I'll take a note. What I'm saying is when you murder somebody, right? You don't.

Allegedly. You have to really think it through. Yes. You have that body and then you think you're just going to bury it And it's hard. You don't know if you're going to hit rock. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Immediately I'm driving away. I'm like, oh, fuck, did I bury it fully? Yeah. Like, when you feel like you turn the oven on, I'm driving away from a murder. Like, I did something wrong.

Yeah. I would lose it just by paranoia. And it's difficult for young murderers because it's hard to get housing. So you don't have backyard to bury their bodies and things like that. You don't have a basement to murder. How dare this fucking country. Yeah. I agree.

It's ridiculous. Yes. is bullshit. It's really, it's Left, are you listening? Why is it hard for them to get housing? For young people?

Oh, it's young people. Young people that murder. Yeah, I think, I think it's very, very difficult, you know. Like, what you're saying is if you want to murder, get a house first. You need a place. Land. Yeah.

You want some land. So if you're going to kill people, land, Mm-hmm. House, land. Hopefully in remote area. Remote. Pacific Northwest. That's a good one.

Is that a good place? Or like Brian Landry dumped her bones in the desert. Brian Landry, Gabby Petito, the van couple. Oh, yes. A couple years ago. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah.

There's a lot of people murdered. He killed her, left her out there, I drove home. Oh, yeah. I remember that? Remember they were, he was trying to, he just took off to? Yeah. And he just took off and his dad and mom gave him stuff. Yeah.

They hid him in the backyard. They hit him. Yeah. That's great. But what would you? If my kid was like, you, dad. I did it. I fucked up.

I killed Maddie Smith. You'd be like, woohoo! Party. Party in the square. She blew me and then I was eating loud and then she fucking tra-taccaking me. I just snapped her neck. She's a fucking nut. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like, I get it. Just hang out here. Would you help your kid? No, I would tell my kid to get out of my house now. If you're a kid... I don't want trouble. I don't want no smoke.

If you're a kid murdered somebody, that's a tough thing. I don't know. You know what I mean? I don't have a kid So I'm for every argument like this I'm like Well if it's this big I'm sure if it killed somebody What did you do?

The fucking devil's inside of them If I don't have a kid I don't know Because every Do you have kids? No Yeah so Thank God

I know I think Yoshi'd be a good dad No no I don't think so Yoshi would not be a good dad The porn industry is known for having great parents You should not Listen I love you dude Yeah

No I agree I don't want you to have a kid I can't Why? Because you fucking donated all your sperm to science I got surgery done a long time ago Really? You died that shit? Was it? You cut that shit up?

He did it himself Nice That's the weird part He gave himself a vasectomy You know? I want to see how it was done It works Why did you get a vasectomy?

I don't think my family had a lot of mental illness problem Then I figured if I had a kid Probably have the same problem You know but I got a really cheap doctor Man it was really painful What do you mean? You got a cheap facetomy? Where?

I was getting fired from my work and I had it like a week to do use that insurance to not pay for anything. So I did it. So you got it all done? Met up with the surgery. I got to go. I got to go a stress test. I got to get my blood check.

And I got to get my dick sniffed. I got to get my dick snipped allergies. Is that what it was? I mean, yeah. He started cutting in and then there was a phone call. He left. Oh my God. So I'm just on the on operations.

So I'm sitting there like, like, well, first they put four shots in each testicles, you know, to numb it? Oh my God. And then start, you know how you buy a cheap steak and you can't cut through the meat that well? He kind of cost the grain? He started cutting it. And then halfway through the surgery, Funko, and because he was there late at night, so he left. And I'm waiting for like 10 minutes.

And then he came back. And then once he cut the stuff. He went like this. What was I doing? Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Just sees your balls splayed up in vasectomy.

Okay. He'll cut it. It would be funny if he made him a vagina by accident. Oh, fuck, fuck, foo, fuck, foe, fuck. Ah, shit. I made you a really hot pussy. Can you stay for like another 30? He cut it, put it back together,

folded like origami and put it back in the testicles. And then next he gets this little flare things and start burning inside your testicle. Why? Because I guess it's the cheapest one the last minute. Yoshi, how much was it? I didn't have to pay for anything. Yeah.

All right. Insurance covered it. Aren't you listening? He had a week of insurance, so he got everything. done. And you just smell your balls on fire. Oh my God. Oh, my God.

What does that smell like balls on fire? Was this in L.A.? Seattle. No, no, it's Coma, Washington. Was it like a strip mall? This sounds like a strip mall Vesctomis. What?

Walk in. A strip mall Vesctomist. What's a Vesctomist? Whoever gives a vasectomist. Is that a real word? I just made it up, baby. I own it. I went to UNLV.

My education isn't great, guys. You know, if you lived in India, you'd have to kill yourself right now. Yeah. Oh, fucking vasectomism. So you smelled your balls on fire? Oh, God, yeah. That's insane.

Really? Did you say anything? I mean, I was a little bit shocked because he just walked, matter of the surgery, and it's all blooded up, you know? And then there was a nurse, but he just said, like, oh, I could do everything. Don't worry about it, just go home

because it was a pretty late at 9, like 6, 30, 7 p.m. You got the last, you got the last phexat. Yeah. You're never going for the last. No, yeah, you've got to get it. early. I think my insurance caught off

was next day so like he did it that night for me. Okay, okay, yeah. So you're under you're under the timeline. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't want to pay for that shit. No way. Fuck that. No, why would you pay for that? Well, how much does that cost? Probably a few thousand.

I don't know, but they covered. We looked it up $350. No, no. It was it. Listen, next time you're gonna get one,

I will pay. I got your next one. Oh, my God. Now, are you sure he did it right? Oh, yeah. You test it out and dump inside of a girl?

I think you're not supposed to touch yourself for like a week. Then you come back, you check. You failed that. Yeah, did you get hard at all? I can't remember. Like, does it hurt to get hard? Did you have to stay away from murder trials for a week? But it was weird.

The first time, Jacking off afterwards, it's like clear liquid. It wasn't white. Oh, okay. And I think the second and third time, it came back like white again. Oh, wow. Oh, I like that. I like a clear. I wish my jizz.

was just clean. I know. You guys could get like oil changes everyone. Yeah. I want my jizz to be like Perel. Yeah. Yeah. I bet it comes out yellow. That's a good visual. Yeah. It looks like that. My jizz, after I got that stomach surgery, came out black. What? What? You don't know

that? Why? How would I know that? Why would I know that? Why? Why would I didn't hear? Because of our tax messages. No, yeah. So I got the surgery. Uh-huh. The week of the surgery, they had the 4th of July premiere on that Thursday. I got the surgery on Monday.

So that Thursday, I had to go to the premiere of 4th of July. And it really sucked because I still had all the stuff in, and I was weak. But I went. I had to do a panel. And it sucked because Nick DePaolo was

just making fat jokes about me the whole time. I just wanted to go, I got surgery. Yeah. I just had to take these. You'll see. You'll see someday. Just give me five weeks. And then right after I'd go to Montreal on Monday The Montreal Comedy Festival So I went up there but I didn't tell anybody I got the surgery

What kind of surgery again? I got gastric sleeve They make your stomachs little baby stomach So they go in and a robot and Arpan My fucking good friend, Indian Just you know We have connections And he

So I'm up in Montreal And I'm up in Montreal and I cranked one out. Yeah. And it was shot on my arm. It shot. Like a good one. Yeah.

I was like from here and then went all the way over here, which was pretty good for me. Yeah. That was really. And it was black. And I looked down and it was black. Oh my God. Oh my God. Like tobacco spit.

It was the same. Tobacco spit, like a little clear but black. Is that one time or was it like a couple more? What was it? Only one time or many times? Well, I had to do it again just to make sure. Yeah. I would think you'd have to.

You would definitely jerk off right after. Yeah, you'd have to. See if I was cleaning out some surgery. Yeah, yeah. Now he's prepping the flashlight, fine. Or do you start thinking that it's going to be that way, paramed? Immediately went and... Freaking out.

I googled it. The first thing that comes up is cancer. I'm like, fuck. I should have just stayed fat. Yeah. How do you Google it? Seamen? Or do you write black cum?

Black cum. No, I didn't write Black cum. Black cum sounds like a good band. That does. Black cum? Me and Jim Florentine going to see Blackcombe. Oh, that is a Florentine. I wrote discolored.

I wrote discolored. black sperm. I did the technical. What did it say? The first thing it came up was cancer. And I'm like, fuck, I got cancer. They must have... And I got to do the nasty show tonight and I got cancer. I got cancer. I got a stomach. I'm going to be thin and have

cancer. I could have just got cancer and got thin. This sucks. I know. And then I called my doctor Indian Arpent. Arpent? Yeah. You are good. It is okay if it's black. No, I called him up and he's like, I don't know.

What? He's like, That's hilarious. I was like, I don't know. I'm like, dude, you got to know. Like, help me. And then I was panicking. So I waited and then I jerked off again, black again.

Oh my God. And then I wound up telling Big Jay, big mistake. Yeah, yeah. Now he's telling everyone. Everybody. Probably opening with it that night, right? Literally. The guy has black jizz.

Yeah. Yeah, you can't tell Jay either. Yeah. And I was panicking. I mean, I'm like something broke. Like they unhinged. something in me or they cut something like something's leaking in there something's like I thought something internal something not even bleeding like junk my shit tube was going into my jizz or something

and I found out was just from the operation and I was only drinking it was protein oh protein okay so I was drinking so much protein and just protein you was just having protein shakes in your balls your balls were mixing that all up so how many times till you got it back to like milk 75. 75. Really? No, it was, uh... So, three days.

All right, we're at 61. Yeah. It's still black. Yeah. Um, no, it was like, I think three times. Okay. Man, let me tell you something.

Does that mean like Aaron Berg just comes black? Yeah. All the time. Yeah, you see? He comes. It's like venom. Yeah. That's hilarious.

Um, yeah, it was chiri, dude. Yeah. When you have something like that, when someone touches your body, and then all of a sudden something happens. So you had to jerk off after that? Yeah, yeah, so you jerked off with a vasectomy. I think there might have been a little bit of blood maybe.

I can't remember. It's been so long ago. Oh, blood came out of your jizz. Yeah. Oh. Oh. What did you do? Did you call?

You can't call them. You have no more insurance. No. Call a friend? No. But I think of waiting a couple of days, it was back to normal. You just kept jerking off until it cleaned out. Yeah, it was just sugar water.

Oh. Tasted? How do you know it's sugar? How do you know that? Have you ever tasted your own jizz? When I was a kid, sure. Why does that make it worse? You got a curious mind then, Bob. I used to guzzle my own jizz when I was nine.

Yeah, back in the day, not anymore. You have. Like, what? What? I love that you just throw these allegations out of nowhere. It's like, you clearly have. Every guy's taste. Dude, if I was a guy, I go,

Just like that? Yeah, I'd be chugging it. What? I bet all of you guys do. Chug our jizz? Men love themselves. Oh my God. I mean, it is protein, right?

I taste so funny. If I drank my own jizz and it made my jizz black. Yeah. Stop drinking your jizz. Yeah, that's why it's happening. No. I mean, a couple of the porn grotes would tell me things like, like one girl I remember said that tastes one of the guys come.

She thought he has gonorrhea. Another time when... What is she a fucking... Hunting dogs? Bobby's like, what does it taste? Another time when... Just like a Japanese toilet. Yeah.

You have gondaria. Another time when we were in Berlin, one of the guy pissed in this girl's mouth and she thought he had a diabetic problem. And he did. How do you know that? Yeah, that's Patrice found out he had diabetes because his girl.

Yeah. The smell and the taste. She said it tastes like birthday cake. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it did. She called me over.

She's like, listen, I just got to find out. I was like, it does. It was delicious. Patrice's pee was delicious. I've actually peed a couple of times when I was like, when I was fat fat, you could have, you could have... It smells sweet? You could have took a sip.

Yeah, it smells sweet. Sometimes, right? Kool-aid. I was bad. I just ate a box of Oreos two days ago. I still have guilt of it, and it smelled incredibly sugary. Why? I'm pissing that cup.

Let's all... Yeah, come on. You want to sit. You want to say. You want to say, you want to say. You want to take a chug? You want to take a chug? It's good after a workout.

That's the worst way to find out you have diabetes. Yeah, agreed. Pissing? Because you have to tell somebody. How did you come to this? Honey, you want to tell him? Well, he pissed in my mouth and it tasted really good. Yeah.

Any questions? We're not taking them. Yeah, so you're in this Cornell thing. Did you learn anything? We were talking about on Bonfire today. Yeah. I felt after we, like I learned all about it, I felt really bad. I felt sad.

Look it. I felt bad that these kids are so trying to fit in. Like they're so trying to be liked by each other. Yeah. That they just didn't, you know, like. It's all gross. What is gross? I know you feel bad.

It's like, bad and gross. It's like if somebody, I don't know. I feel like it's like she wants to be liked by these guys. At least one of them. Oh, two. But the thing is... Yeah, three is not... Three is a threesome.

Four is too many. Yeah. I think. Logistically. Logistically. I'm like, I don't have enough holes. You have to wait outside. You can't all come in the room.

You know what I mean? You do have enough holes for four. Two in the mouth? Two in the mouth. Yoshi's crazy. No, no, but... Two in the mouth. Oh, you mean, like, like, kind of like, battering at me.

One, and... And then one in Asway. Yeah, okay, okay. Maddie, remember his old profession. He's seen a lot of things. Plus, you can make two holes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so you go, and then I have two hitting my mouth.

So it's two, two, up top four. Up top four, yes. Five, six. I guess six is too, Maddie. I mean, you could also technically do double an o, one in vagina, you know. Two in the ass? Well, I thought there was double, I thought there was a DVDA. That's where South Park, those guys,

Got their name. Two in the vags. That's supposedly... What is it? The DVDA, double vaginal, double anal, and that supposedly paid the best rate in the 90s. That if you did that. For what, hookers?

No, for on-screen talent. Yeah. Is that true? Do you get more money if you get two in the butt, two in the stink and one of the pink? I think things have changed now with the internet. You got to try everything once. In porn, you get more money if you can take two and your bum bum.

I mean, if you're especially popular and like you're doing it for the first time, you get put it. be great for that. But things have changed quite a bit since. And comics imagine that they're off serious. Yeah. Imagine having to get your royalties from taking two in the ass all. Guys, Sebastian is taking over the A to.

Wow. What? I love that angle. In the A's. Put our content back. Tell Sebastian. Me? I was talking about my.

my anal video. I think if you had anal video, you wouldn't be off. What? I don't know. Whoa. You think they would leave? Oh, I'd be on the face. I'd be on the list.

You'd be on the channel. With Joan Rivers and stuff. Yeah. She takes anal. Thanks. Comedy, take it off, but in my anal videos. Numero one. Maybe two.

Oh, God. It's, uh, what's up? Please. No, no. Oh, you're going to say something. I'm listening to you. Oh, okay. Yes, yes.

Well, your mouth was open. So I thought you're going to say something. You went to the trial today? No. I went to Cornell yesterday, and there's the Philly horror story right now. What's that? Oh, yeah, I heard about that.

What is that? Serial killer of sorts? Yeah, I knew that guy. He used to do pornography. You knew the guy who was a serial killer? Allegedly, they haven't found the bodies yet, but I went to the house Friday morning. Hang on one second.

So he's not a serial killer yet because they haven't found the bodies? They haven't, but today, I think, digging the backyard. They were digging holes today. I was there Friday morning. At the house? Yeah, his name is Raymond Horts. Really?

He died last year, but his son got arrested earlier in the year, and they found a bunch of videos look like they're choking and murdering chicks, but they haven't found any of the bodies. Like an actual snuff film? Yes, supposedly, yeah. But when I knew him, you know, he was doing a lot of these streets of New York porn. Like around the time when I met you, I was working with another guy doing like six in Manhattan or,

Grand Central Park. Yeah, yeah. But I spent like 25 years ago when I met him, or I think so. I just told him, he had a scene with a girl named Susie Suzuki, and I told him like, oh, it looked like you're fucking my mom. He started laughing. That was the last conversation. I had it with him, you know.

She had nice laugh. Yeah, he was funny, yeah. It was funny. But there's six or seven women missing from Kincentine's drug area. Yeah. And they had a bad area. Yeah. Yeah.

Bad. Trink. I think he picked them up, take him to his place, and then nobody saw them ever again. And they didn't even know they're getting picked up. What do you mean? They just sit there like this.

And he put him down to his fucking living room like this. So I went bed, Friday, Cornell on Sunday, and then I can't remember. I haven't been sleeping that well. Well, of course not. You're going to fucking murder. Oh, yeah.

The worst thing's ever. It's not like you're going to church. What are the sexual proclivities of terrorists? What? You know? Remember you talking about terrorists? Oh, yeah. He's going to be advising on it.

What kind of stuff they like? So, can we guess? Like, I bet it's the opposite of what you think. I bet they don't like torture. I bet they like kissing and probably just like petting. Missionary, quick. Missionary, something romantic. I bet they're not as sinister as you think.

Who? Terrorists. You think terrorists are sensual? I'm guessing if you chop a dude's head off because they're an infidel That you probably aren't like choking your woman You're probably like hi, you're probably petting Caressing or she's doing shit to you Oh yeah she's got her heel on your chest

The terrorist is baby talking Baby talking Holding hands Hash melios Like romance Oh you're so cute Oh look hopper chopper loppel Reeks Daniel Steel novels all that shit

Yes Jody Pickolt Yes the notebooks they're favorite movie. One other guy that we cover was Anwar Alawaki. He was killed one month after

they killed Bin Laden and he was born in New Mexico and he was preaching in Virginia mosque.

We went there with my friend Andrew Manning comedian. I know him. We went there and he's quarter

Palestinian so it was easy to go into the mosque with him. So we went and we in there and then what happened

was it wasn't his terrorist. Try taking Danny into a mosque. Oh my God. Oh, way. It wasn't his inflammatory

conversation about terrorism and how much he hit America. It was after he gave speeches at the mosque in Washington, D.C. area, all what he does is he get hookers in D.C. area. And then what happened was his Pamp got

raided by FBI and they say, hey, they're looking for you. So it wasn't, I mean, he was saying he was like pro-terrorism. But he was getting blowjohn from all these hookers in the area. And he was afraid of getting ashamed by his people, I think. So he fled the country. Because they're not supposed to do that? I mean, yeah.

You're going to cover their face before they blow you. And so he was one of the guy, the cupboard, and there's like six other ones, you know. Six other what? I mean, the guy I was helping was covering seven main terrorists. Jesus. That's crazy. And then, you know, I went to Afghanistan. and three time for vacation.

So kind of like... Excuse me. So I went there. So a cheaper deal than Cancun, huh? Buddy, I love you so much, but you frighten me. Is that unbelievable? I love that. Some of the...

Listen. I'm going to get a tan. Hey, I want to go to hang out with the Taliban for a little. It'll be fun. I got the same reaction, Bourdain when I date one of his episode. But I went to 2012, 13, and 2019. You went back? Yeah.

Why? What? Why? I mean... How do you... Yep. The whole terrorism stuff is really, really interesting, you know? And I think them and like serial killer,

they all have a kind of similar thing, which is something happened to them early on when they're kids most of the time. Right. And then because these problems were not addressed, It gets terrible over a period of time. So I think if you make sex conversation difficult, I mean, if you can make people laugh talking about sex, you could talk about it.

If you could talk about it, you could help these people, right? But a lot of times they don't, you know. Did you go to there to help them? I think when I have this conversation, young people learn about it, and they go to school and maybe learn more about it to help us down the road, right? Right.

Yeah. So, like, that's why when I went to Epstein's case, you know, I think a lot of the stuff he was doing kind of makes sense to me. Because, you know, through a lot of sex workers. Because his dick was weird shape, so we had to get it out. I know. He had a tiny dick, so we had to...

I was letting him finish the sentence. Every time we should just cut Yoshi off at that... Epstein didn't make sense to me. Yeah, if you think about it. We'll be right back. Go to quince.com. If you had an Indian accent, this would come off way nicer.

Yeah. A lot of things that he did made sense for me. You go back and look. Here's an example, right? Please. I love you. I forgot there was a secretary treasury and the president of harbor. I forgot his name.

But when he was headed the secretary of treasury for Obama, he made a lot of decisions that affect all of us, right? Housing, interest rates, once you pay for stuff, right? So he's very powerful. And the decision that he made affect all of us, right? Not me. I'm fine. I'm still on serious.

And he's a very, very powerful man. Sebastian can't even affect me. That's right. Wait, you're not to cut off. You didn't get cut off, were you? You're nuts. Okay. He runs that place.

You see me put one of those videos up? Me and Jay actually made all the decisions. That would be hilarious. We did. I'm struggling because of Bobby. We cut all of you. Work harder. Oh, wow.

I'm kidding. No, but you're on the winning side, right? The winners, yeah. Yeah, okay. He also has a show, so, yeah, he's doing great. The loser's side's on this side. I still got shot. Here, I'll tell you about that later.

Keep talking. I'm going to take it off. Yeah. Keep talking. Bobby, I would ever tell you, when I do the Mount Rushmore of comics at the back table, it's three U's and just one Keith. You're back on. You're goddamn right, baby.

Nice. That's how you do it. I'm back in, baby, with the real godfather. So what happened? Well, so he has all this influence. I'm sorry, I'm blinking the guy's name. So he has unbelievable reach affecting everyone because our economy and overseas and things like that. He's very, very smart.

Guess who he was asking for dating advice? Epstein. Yes. So it's the same story over and over, you know, and I think because I have known a lot of sex workers and porn stars, I know a lot of rich and powerful. Get an island? Fuck kids. Well, you want to do Private Jet Island Fuck Kids

Bing, he's done He's like, check, check Done Drink baby blood It makes you come black For a couple days I'm in It's not why I was coming black

Yeah, okay It was the stomach thing And how do you reconcile with that You know, like he's powerful yet He needs his guy like Jeffrey F's into helping With personal issues Because these things are very, very difficult To talk about

You know And my boss is my friend Oh Jesus Christ You know what I mean? Like our relationship is different than the relationship he has with other people, you know? Yeah. I don't know. Like, you know, I'm sure there was people friendly with Jeffrey Epstein that didn't know he was a full-fledged piece of shit.

Yeah. Right? Well, they're just like, hey, what's up, Jeff? He was just just a question. You know what I mean? I mean, sometimes you know, I have a buddy who end up murdering someone. I didn't know he was stalking a girl and going to murder. Mike Fecki Young.

Her husband. or like boyfriend. I had no idea. And then it's weird. I was going to UNLV at that time. And the story came up in my journalism class and it's like, does anyone happen to know him? It's like, and then people are asking me a question.

I'm like, I was supposed to have ears with him. It's weird. It's weird. It's random. It's weird because a lot of people know a lot of people that wind up murdering people. Yeah. Or doing terrible stuff.

And then you're like, well, what was you like? I mean, he was cool to me. I know. You know, like he didn't fucking seem like he was going to On the other end of it Not Ask And then kill on the live He never not asked me

I found out that I know a girl who was on the island On Epstein Island Dude, I had no idea Wee used to work And I want if she's in the public but I won't say her name But like I found out by watching on social media I'm like wait a minute

Why she dressed up in the courtroom So this girl she used to be a server at a comedy club We used to go grab drinks. Right. And she was young and just cool. I don't remember her ever saying anything wild. Like she was just, I grew up in Connecticut, blah, blah, blah.

And dude, she was on the island. She is someone who she's gone to Congress several times now. She is fighting for it. Is she one of the girls? Yes, she survived that shit. I had no idea. Crazy. I mean, I haven't seen her in a decade and a half.

Well, there was other people working on the island, too. It's not like it was just, dude's fucking young girls. Yeah, which I think she was there as a young girl. They had to be a cook. Yeah, I don't think she was handing out hors d'oeuvres, Bobby. I think she was, when you get the word survivor, I don't think it's like, would you like a pig in the blanket?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She could have been cleaning. Housekeeping. They're underage two at that point. It was interesting with him because he had a similar thing with Tegesensky because both of those guys skip a bunch of grades when they're going to school, right? And part of the reason why I think that's a problem

is because, well, imagine for a second, unlike Ted Kaczynski, he was 11 when he was going to 12th grade. No regular girl is going to try to interact with an 11-year-old boy. So Kuzinski never learned to have like a relationship with women. Red Pills. And then I got to the point where he couldn't get any girlfriend. he even thought of become a transgender person too.

And then Epstein, same thing. When he skipped a bunch of grades, it's really hard when you're like that young trying to interact with young. And so when he got a job at Dalton School as a high school teacher, that's when he started learning, kind of interacting with young girls. Right. So there's a little bit of the fetish. And also I think a lot of times these pedophiles,

they like young kids because they want to be... They relate to them. They could control them easier when they're kids. But their mentality, too, is probably the same as a little kid. I think they're also like, I was a fucking loser growing up And now I deserve to fuck young You know, like when guys are losers But then they'll get like famous

Then they just fuck a 17 year old immediately Why you keep looking at him? Yeah, why are you looking at him? Because he wishes Wow I would never But I think there's also like a lost time thing For like people like that

Probably because they didn't sleep with 17 year old When everyone else was Now they're like now I get to Yeah it's the comeback Yeah I listen I would never be able to Even like a girl in a 20s just bug me.

Just all her questions and things she wants to. I love a nice chick with dead eyes. That's right. You know what I mean? Like a... Like the shark. You're looking at her.

Yeah, yeah. As soon as we're done, you're just going to go... Yep. Fall asleep. I'm just spit in a bucket. Where's my mask? Yeah.

Yeah, you sleep at me? Yeah. That's hot. I'm warm. That's hot. You're going to put your hokas on, get your sleep. Yep.

Yeah. Speaking of young girls at Cornell, that the girl the fraternity house John Dan Joe

Jay Doe Jane Doe It's It's three or four blocks away Seven John Doe There was a house where Not that this really matters But just coincidence

Bladimir Nabokov wrote Lolita That book Yes That book was written like three blocks From that fraternity house You're out of here Makes you think

Seriously So I was kind of roaming around That city yesterday Really? thing. I didn't know that. Man, this is what Josie, Yoshi. Yoshi.

Joshi. Are you Mexican? Josie. Yoshi. Yoshi. Um, dude, I, like, you, you, you have all this shit in your head. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, doesn't it get taxing, knowing all this fucking crazy, bad shit is around? And you just find it interesting the way people, are you

trying to do something? Are you trying? Why did you go to Afghanistan three times? Vacation. Bobby, did you hear him? Did they have a pool at your hotel? My friend invited me there, and he owns every media company is there. So he invited me. Oh, so rich guy.

And I think he thought, because nobody ever taken an offer before, by when? I'll go anywhere if you invited me. I'll go anywhere. And he paid for everything. No, no, I paid for everything. Oh, boy. And then. But he said I pulled through.

Oh, boy. And then I went to Polycharky prison, which is the biggest president in Afghanistan. And I went there. And then I had a translator. We were talking to these three guys in prison, and I guess they're Taliban, right? So the translator told him, like, hey, he's from America, blah, blah, blah. And they didn't really trust me. And I noticed every time when you show up in places, like, they don't trust you.

But soon as you tell them, he worked in porn, they did they trust you right away? Because if you work in the business when you're showing your butt hold all the time, you're not really hiding anything. Yeah. And that's a really entry way to, like, meet people that. You don't have really often. So, like, dude. One of them asking,

do you know, Sasha Gray, which was kind of funny, you know, they kind of new porn and stuff like that. So weird, because they're not supposed to.

Yeah. Not supposed to know. Not supposed to, but they do. They do. Isn't that a weird thing that these guys are all, you know,

you're not supposed to do any of that bad shit, but they do. They do. Yeah, when I went over to Iraq, the guys were left with with. Yeah, vacation.

He said, I actually went, I actually got married. Spring break. In Iraq. That's where I got married. Gorgeous. In Afghanistan.

Beautiful. I actually asked her to marry me in Afghanistan. Okay. You got married. Yeah. In Iraq. That's so nice. But yeah.

They were like, look, man, you might see some weird shit on the side of the road. I'm like, like, what? He goes, sometimes these guys fuck each other on the side of the road. Oh, my God. I'm like, what? He's like, yeah, dude. They're out in the desert. There's nobody around.

Yeah. A friend of mine just sent a video from Boston. He's like, yeah, they love Boston, dude. And there was just two, in the middle of a square. Two guys fucking? In the back bay, just one guy. bent over and the other guy just fucking him in the ass. That's what's up. That's what's up.

That's what's up. That's what's up. Also in Afghanistan, they hear your unnecessary stuff that you really want to hear. And one of the guy, I mean, I had a translator. He told me that since I worked in porn, that he was telling me that young kids in that part of the world were fucked goats and sheep. And he was explaining to me

that goats, vagina, anatomically speaking, very similar to human, female, whatever. And I'm trying to eat. See? Now you need to hang out with You can just fuck a goat. Very similar to Maddie's vagina. Yeah. You have a...

That's why she's goat. Juicy. Oh, my God. See, that's mesophonia right there. Listen, we got to wrap this up. Wow. Just learned so much. I mean...

It seems... Excuse me, I'm going to throw up. I just thought of... What put you over the top? Goat vash? I just think about my goat post. I just... She's vagina's vagina and her going, ah.

You picture me with horns. Horns and hooves. Tell her when I took you to the one porn shoot and you got sick. What? Really? Do you remember when I took you? I don't like fluids. Okay, yeah.

I don't like the word fluid. Yeah. Yeah. And they poured milk. You remember? In a girl's asshole. Milk is what did it? Oh, my God.

The chocolate milk is what did it. Oh, that's next level. The regular milk, it didn't really affect me. It reminded you that time you had to come. problem in a Montreal. And then when I came out, it was a bleh.

I don't like it. But the smell he almost threw up. You have to run out of that. I'm sorry, I don't like shit milk. You smell like shit. Yeah, no, same. I'm weird.

Same. I'm the one. I'm sorry. I don't like shit. I'm good on that. Oh, shit milk. Yep. I don't like, I don't like nine and a half weeks

when they ate by the fridge and they fucked. Nope. Nope. I don't put, I don't want strawberries or whipped cream. Nope. I don't want anything.

Nope. I'm good. I'm going to get the taste of the vagina in my mouth. Get over that as quick as I can. And then hopefully I come. Rub off that rustiness. Then it's funny. Oh, rusty. You're going to pour coke on it.

Yeah. Yeah, you've seen some wild shit, my friend. Yeah, it's crazy. Well, I'm trying to be helpful. Have you thought about writing a book between the porn and these trials and summering in Afghanistan? You should write a book, dude. about what though i mean i don't know i mean you're an interesting dude bro

yeah dude you've been you've been all over the place you go to all these trials you know all this facts there's some type of synergy between all these people and what they do terrorists and fucking mass murderers and porn and fucking comedians i'm still kind of figuring out when i went elizabeth holmes sentencing because she's um well she's dead inside you want to talk about dead eyes

is that the one that killed the kids no no she was the one who dresses like Steve Jobs, who conned everyone into... It's out this Friday. That machine... Oh, yeah, yeah. You should go see it. You just stub your finger

and it tells you what diseases you might have. Oh, yeah, that was all a fraud, right? Yeah, yeah. Fraud. Oh, yeah. She still has like a personality disorder. It's weird that they're doing another doc because Alex Gibney did that one.

It was so great. I think this one's more like a Nathan... It's a battle of autism because I think she's trying to fool him and he's trying to melee play. Yeah. It's great. Spy versus Spy. It is a spy versus Spy.

Yeah. I do feel. bad in that because a lot of people don't know that allegedly in 2003 she reported that she was raped in Stanford. Oh, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And not asked. Not asked. What?

Unasked. Unasked. Oh, sorry. Yeah, it's okay. Not asked. And when assuming it's true, people deal with trauma differently. So I think what happened, in my opinion, when you feel that powerless,

you want to become powerful that this never happened to you. So some of this thing that drove her crazy to create this company, I think it had a lot to do with it. Now, interesting, one of the girl who became whistleblower. Lewis Gomez was raped. Oh, my God. Hurt people, hurt people. Is that what you're saying?

Louis J. Gomez was raped as he up for. He's not a guess. He agreed. And that's why he wants. Yes. Power. Body brain. Story wars.

The Kramer. Story Wars. Spank. Trip to Spain. He is trying to become the most powerful guy in comedy. Yeah. Because he was sexually assaulted. And now we all have to go, oh, comedy jam.

That explains Josh. Oh, if you want to get into it. I was raped as a little boy. He was raped by a guitar. We've been raped by social media. Oh, boy. Wow, that's fucking crazy. You live a crazy life.

Crazy. But one last part of Elizabeth. Please finish. I want you to finish. Take your time. her her assistant spit it out

a whistleblower against her yes it says she's a Chinese American lady named Erica Chong and she was also raped in UC Berkeley so you have two women

with two traumas but one decides to do the right thing and the other one's a loser is that reason why I was really that's the same thing with serial killers like their trauma

a lot of people have experienced and it was never on the dress so you think sex sex trauma is a thing that makes people

want to hurt sex is basically confirmation of the fantasy that they have and there was a guy named Tom Wolfe What does it mean

when you want to What do you mean The writer? Yeah Tom Wolfe one time Talk about What does it mean When you can only

Come with a hairbrush In your ass Oh I guess it would be like I'm just asking Like a quiet closeted situation For a friend

But the hairbrush Your friend is gay Not the handle part Wait a minute Not the handle part. The brush part. Oh, the brush part. The pointy part?

Yeah. Bye. Bye. Okay. Yeah. Annie, you're fine. Tom Wolfe, talk about this thing called Masters of Universe, right? These people, these are powerful people to control everything.

They control cooperation, the media. I thought that was the Indians. No. No. Did you hear me? Government. They control Hollywood. They control everything, right?

They're very powerful people. But there's one thing they can control, which is they can control themselves. sex is when they reveal themselves So that's why I think You see all kinds of people suffering the world It's a lot of times these powerful people like Like Musk father is crazy I mean we could talk about the Patreon part

But I think because these things are unaddressed They're doing all kinds of terrible things in the world A guy like Jim Norton is so honest about sex We need more people like Jim talking about being honest about sex stuff It makes it so much easier for people to talk about it Agree. And get help. Not that big of a video.

Are you telling me right now that Jim Norton is the answer? I, I, very few people have surprised me as much as Jim when it comes to six and like all that stuff, you know? I mean, transgender stuff is so, like, popular now, but he was some. Oh, sorry. What did you say? I didn't say anything. Yeah, right. I was trying to see what he was going to say.

But guy like he makes it so much easier to talk about and people could get hit. help, you know? And I think a lot of times, they literally billion is going around raping people. I know, and it's like you don't have to do that. You just got to suck a dick. Yes, it's fine. Yeah. I think you're right. Why rape one purple when you go

fire 100,000 people work in your company? You just rape 100,000 people in their family. That's what they do. Yes. They get off on that. Yes, they get... So, yeah. That's why I love Jim and like... Are you saying don't just rape? No, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying.

I don't understand. I find someone to fog instead of raping someone. Oh, so don't. And be honest about like what you're doing. So all rape is bad. Oh, wow. Is that what you're saying? Wow. Is that what you learned at Cornell? That's what. What a tough stand. I agree with you. I think you're right. Yeah, so that that's why in some cultures it's more difficult to talk about this stuff, you know. So I think that's why I've been, you know, how many times you get cold person? It doesn't bother me because I kind of learned from Jim Norton, you know what I mean? So when I talk about these things, I hope, you know, these smarter kids are going academic.

No, I agree with you. You know, Jim Norton, especially the type, look, boss, Ross, Norton, call. I mean, he was hanging out with some pretty, you know, fucking DePaul. We all sat at that table and he never, he was on Opie and Anthony. I mean, the show where you, we all get made fun of. for the clothes you wear. Never mind the dicks you suck. You know what I mean?

And for him to be that aware of himself to just be him and like what he likes and not be ashamed of him. What was the thing that you said? You asked Jim, hey, you want to go to a cigar bar and what he said? You want to hang out with us after the show? And what did Jim Norton say to you?

I forget. You said like, hey, Jim, you want to go to a cigar bar? I'm like, no, I'm going to go. I'm suck my wife's cock. And then he left. Yeah. No, he said. All right, Jimmy, have a good time.

See you later. He goes, I think you went. No, I'm going to go home and blow my wife. Oh, okay. And then she's going to fall asleep on the couch watching TV. You could reverse that, could you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if I was married to a she-mail, not a she-mail, you can't say it.

What is it? Oh, my God. Chimail was a proper term when I used to work. Transgender. Yeah, listen, I've been through many variations of words. But you can't say that anymore. It's a transgender. What was wrong with she-mail that was wrong?

Well, it wasn't. when I was working a business. That was the proper term back then. So then it's, now it's transgender is the actual term. Yeah, or a person. Oh. Wow.

Wow. You know what? Wow. I guess we'll just end it on that. You just got educated. I just got educated. Sit your wires down. Wow.

Jesus Christ, you really hung me out there to dry, didn't you, Yosh? All right, well, listen, everybody. Yoshi, what are you got coming up? Anything? I'm going to London next week, and I'm going to spent a couple of days at Russell Brand's trial. Are you going to go check that out? I'm trying to get in.

You know, when you go overseas, it's a little difficult. So I went to I went to one in Brocares, Romania for Tate Brothers. Oh, my God. I went to one in, I went to Giselle Pettico in France. You know, my God, that's crazy. I went to that case. You could just go to Aruba. I don't like vacation.

He just doesn't like Ray Allen. But you know that case with Giselle Pettico? Her husband, drug, derrick. and I had a bunch of guys raped her a couple of times a month for like a year. I literally walk up. I literally I literally walk up and tapped her shoulder.

She was conscience, by the way. So, well, everything's okay. That's great, Joshy. Could you finish the sentence quicker? You really just pause. I walked up and touched her shoulder. Pause. No, but that was a great thing.

He was conscious. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. All right, well, you're going to London. You're going to check that out. Will you check in with me again? Yes. Yoshi, I love you so much.

It's good to see you, buddy. And I'm glad you brought your friends, too. The one that I know. Two funny guys. Forever. And little cute, R.K. He's adorable. I want one.

I want a little Indian guy friend. R.K., will you be my friend? Okay, great. Like his baby Yoda. I have a house up in the woods. We can look at the leaves. Maddie, what are you got? Oh, you guys.

I'm out. I'm out and about. That's good. A little working career. Maddie Smith. Comedy.com. I'm in D.C., Wilmington, North Carolina,

in December, Fort Wayne, Indiana. Later in January, I haven't listed my dates yet, but going by website. You're bumming me out. I'm so sorry. I know we just talked about

rape, we just talked about rape, porn, death, fucking Cornell. And leave. But come watch me do stand-up. Madysmithcomedy.com. Madhouse podcast. We're all in fucking Yoshi's cadence.

Yeah. Now come to. Follow me. So Maddie Smith, Madhouse podcast out every Wednesday. Shout out, shout out, motherfuck, bitches. I'm going to Skank Fest. Oh, yes. I will go. Let's go.

Great. Awesome. So we'll see you guys there. They never respond to my email. Buddy, I will get you. Of course I take care of you. I took care you last Skank Fest. Last three years.

And make sure, yeah, whatever you need, buddy. I got you. That's what's up. Just don't fucking murder somebody. Jesus. Well, I mean, dude, you're around a lot of it. Yeah. And you didn't have the greatest childhood.

everything you say that these people have, you have. Yeah, but I'm not white. I'm not going to commit any of those things. Whoa. Classic diverting. Diverting and racist. James, what do you got? So I'm promoting an album.

Yes. October 30th, it's called Too Dumb to Die. And so you're talking about work harder because of the whole serious thing? Yeah. When I found out about this thing, I found out that we're not, we lost Raw Dog. I have two clean tracks that are still making money. So I decided I was going to Vegas the next week at the comedy seller, recorded a clean album. Wow.

Clean album. Nice. That's great. I reworked some old jokes, changed some punchlines, and then I have all these personal stories. One of them came out on Maddie's podcast. I went out of cheated death six times. It became, we were just going to call it for the money because we're just going to do it to get the royalty. And then I realized there's a story about me almost dying in public so many times in embarrassing ways.

so we changed it to Too Dumb to Die And I accredited it as a producer You produced it Yeah That's nice Partial That's great

I did it on her podcast Production assistant You know who did it The great Lenny Marcus Skinny Boy records Nice Lenny is the best And skinny boy

You love With someone with body dysmorphia It's great to be on skinny boy records That's what's up It's the posture of a fucking My grandmother Yeah So October 30th

We're putting it out Allo Halloween Congratulations Thank you I'm very excited about That's what's up It feels good I'm going, I'm in Boston this weekend

if you're listening to live right now. I'll be at the Laugh Boston all weekend. Joe and Cody are going to be with me. And then I'm going to Lafayette. I'm going to Lake Charles. I'm going New Orleans all over the place. And then I'm filming my special. What is Boston?

What is that? What is that in the middle of Lafayette? TD Garden? Oh, yeah. What's that show? Oh, it's comic. Big show. The big show.

I'm doing that, which is a really big show. Great benefit. Of course, my special, December 12th at the Uptown Theater in Rhode Island, everybody in New England who listens to this. Please get your tickets at punchup.life slash Robert Kelly or UptownPVD.com. I really want all my fans in New England to show up for this. It's going to be a great night. I'm producing it myself, and I want to fill the place up.

So make sure you check that out. Boys, what are you got? Make it peppy. Follow me on Instagram at Danny Braff, and the Dojo Comedy in Morris Plains, New Jersey is back open after being close for four months. Maddie Smith was the last show there before the got shut down. Shout out, shout out. Fire marshal came because we was on fire.

Please come support. They need it more than ever. In our case, Indian family will show up for your show on December 12th. Ooh, I think in Rhode Island? Okay. New England. That'd be so great if he was. They'd make a trek from New Hampshire.

I would sell out if his family came. Bobby! Dude, I'll tell you what, Indian guys love me because I was on Louis. And they love Louis. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes. Bobby?

Your name is Bobby? No, shut your face. Couple cuties. What if you do for the set, the background, a bunch of trees, and foliage? Foilage. And then they'll show up. Foilage. I don't know if I can get foilage.

Let's go to foilage. Just some fake plants and shit. It's foliage. I don't like English, Bobby. We're going to go to Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly right now for the questions I have for you guys. And we got two more guys. What do we got? Cody, what do you got?

Hey, this is Cody Follow me on Instagram At Cody the Comic And you can see me at Uncle Vinny's On the 21st and 22nd of this month Yeah, he's gonna be with me this weekend too What else you got, Joe? Hey, Joe Russell

Go to Jokes Russell on Instagram And give me a little follow Guys, if you know these guys, follow these guys They work hard on the show They're the best and they're hilarious We're gonna go to Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly right now We're gonna get really into

This serial killer stuff with Yoshi We're going to talk about Maddie's sheep vagina. We're going to talk about... We're going to actually get RK on the table naked and examine to see if Indian penises are different. Are you okay with that, RK? I'm going to tell you, you're getting $7 million rupees. Oh. That's $3.

Treasure. But in his country, millionaire. Yes. So make sure you go over at patreon.com. So, Robert Kelly. What? Am I hearing things? I gotta go to the bathroom.

There you go. You'll see you guys next time on. You guys are the best fans of the world. We love you. Next time on, you know what, dude.