Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD Best of 2020

Episode Date: January 4, 2021

We look back at YKWDs 2020, from the pre Pandemic to quarantine to Bobbys transition to the King of Zoom! Some of our favorite moments with the Regs, new guests and returning friends! Leaving the studio, the origin of Mutzie, hernia surgery, the Bodacious Belt Buckle and more! New Episodes arrive every Sunday night For advertising opportunities email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. You're all the shit, because you're... Because you're a hair is feathered.

January 30th, 2021. Robert Kelly from Comedy Central Netflix and HBO will be doing his hilarious crewed but full-nurbo stand-up live from the Wall Street Theater and streaming it around the world, right to you. Robert Kelly live streamed pay-per-view from the Wall Street Theatre, January 30th, 2021. Go online, Partickets! What's up, Posers and Posets? It's Brendan Sagalo, Professional Skateboarder. Yeah, that's right.

I said Professional Skateboarder, because I finally got my first sponsor, the YKWD podcast hosted by comedian Robert Kelly. After my first sponsor meet tape, Bobby had left a comment on my Instagram post with interest in sponsoring me. And after months of not knowing if he was serious or not, we finally made it work. There were some negotiations on how much I was going to get paid, but let's just say we came to a deal that made us both really happy. After a couple of back and forths, the guys at the YKWD podcast asked me to make another

sponsor me tape so we can get more people on board, and on top of all that, they gave me some sick merch. So let's go out, let's head to the skate park, and let's give them their money's worth. What? [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ So, unfortunately, the skate park is closed due to unforeseen circumstances.

But that's all matter, you don't need a skate park to make a cool skate video. BamArgera beat up his dad for a whole video. I would do that too, but my dad passed. So that's the end of the tape everybody. I'd like to thank my first sponsor, the YKWD podcast. If you'd also like to jump on board and sponsor me, I'll make a tape just for you. Just email right here and remember everybody, rule suck and I don't understand politics. Joe, have you or Dan done any preparations for like the next couple months?

What do you mean? Like I have a freezer. I have a refrigerator in my garage, and then I have a cubic refrigerator. I mean, a freezer where I've got just filled to the gills. I have this thing. I have got a freezer, a seven foot cubic freezer. I filled it to the gills with all kinds of meats

and vegetables. I have a whole shelf in my office now that you can see. It's a little, if you can see it, see all the food I have over there? Yeah. I have all that food over there. Yeah, but that was there before.

Yeah. That was your thinking food. Fuck off. Bobby, you broke the plank. How do you have such perfect hair in a fucking pandemic? It's all I have. So, and why are you looking more female in everyday as you? He's taking estrogen. I'll say it.

The YKWD, that was only two. Think you hand your pants and feel it and then show it to us. Oh, oh Okay Both you guys go to fucking male metapause. I don't know what mood you can oh We're gonna I just want to say let, no, I'm getting what? Losing a dog can be pretty rough. You know, a cannon. Now, when you do these podcasts with people, do you have to tell them not to do card readings

in another room or something? You know, the gypsy family you're staying with is that, what do you do with them? We never crossed the line on this show, hashtag Nagger. Jesus, whoa, dude. I said, hey, hey, that was an A. What do you do with them? We never crossed the line on this show hashtag Nagger Oh, I can't wait till they take Brooklyn back Who is the hey? Yeah, why don't you go into that one Bobby? Holy thanks giving

I can't wait to listen to this dude. Holy thanks given coming soon. I'm talking don't make it into racist I don't mean black people I don't know I'm just saying the vertical jump in Brooklyn's about What's up guys it's chat fly here bringing you the that sounds like a radio guy from long I yeah, it looks like the next mountain really grass and he's dressed like four different people He's got the face of a bomb villain in the head of a cowboy. I mean, there's suits off the rack too. I'll tell you there. There's so many reality shows that he can be part of.

Make fun of his dumb fucking uneven ears. What do we do? You stupid uneven ear Mexican. Oh, I'm sorry Mike Suarez, your ears aren't normal. Yeah, your dog passed away. Yeah, he probably died because of your ears and making a lot of noise. Oh, man.

He probably killed himself, because Stan looking at your dummy ears anymore. I've never seen a dog throw himself down the stairs. Continuously, we keep taking the money for you. The brakes in the vertebrae say that this was more than one time. Yeah, this was initiated by the dog. Yeah. I guess all dogs don't go in.

They've been doggated your ears so much. Yeah. I don't, he's dog bit a knife. Yeah. He ran out in front of a fire truck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Deroza, Deroza's titties are getting sexual. Like, like, they're actually he was at Skanks last week and he showed up with a white t-shirt. God, he tells them, it's only fucking five people in the world that can wear white t-shirts as men. Okay? And he's not one of them. And he showed up and I swear to God, I was feeling something in my, my, my, my

other reasons. Nice. Those are like fresh, those are fresh 18 year old volcano titties. Did you see that photo? It's not someone made of feed as an older man. No, no, but can we? The whole way from the heavens Comes in with a fucking home run nice a maker even though you five bucks my sickle That's his name in our podcast. We, my sickle. I don't know what...

He came. My sickle, my sickle. My sickle, my sickle. Full name. He's full name. Fuck right. Actually, did the whole surgery from the other side of the room with a robot? Really?

So, he was in like a machine with the goggles strapped in with his fingers and these little things. And I was on a table in the middle of the room with three fucking rods sticking in my gut. And he was inside of me, snipping and lasering and fucking pulling and now was that because he found you physically disgusting or is a new technology. I don't appreciate you. Yeah, Mike. And you're fucking good on the next on the next episode of Bobby's Patreon. I'm going to eat cereal out of his new belly button. All right.

This is show you how beautiful of a man he is. Listen, man, this is, this is your, your anger because you haven't seen anybody. I'm locking that fucking, board, Delo for six months in that warehouse that you're staying in is not my fault. Okay. You're right. You're going to take it out of me. I did the idea that they were like, we have finally have the technology to do your surgery. Uh, hernie, no, to be in the room with someone so fucking ugly, we've got machines now. We've got machines that we have pushed in the could deal with someone of your.

We have talked to the line equipment and all of our blind doctors on the track. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome, everybody, to the show. YKW. I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts.

YKW is back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did. This podcast is so fun and crazy! And as the rules, Shut up! You're ruining this! We're the more damn-a-man!

I'm so sorry! It's a comedy podcast! This is an NPR! That's the podcast done! Is there any better show? This is the original original! I Came in like a

We're back, you know what another new intro I don't want to change the starting. The bus is trotting you. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I can't get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car.

I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car.

I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. I just need to get the car. We want to be a big girl. You know, do you have to come up with a promise hanging day? You're a big baby. That's how the host does you, motherfucker. This is OP.

I do some things. What was that? That was what he said. On my? On your intro? I also remember it. I mean mean he's humor and famous now There's that was in there. She said this cocksucker has not put me in one intro of his show I mean the fuck you're in this one

You're in this one He's the only one that's not in this why am I not it? Because you never know the show I can't I reach out to her on the car. Oh, you're in it now. Let's be sure everyone knows that Soda just blanked on her name. Gabby, Gabby and I have been married for three years. Three years.

No one knows. You should know that I regularly masturbate with her underwear in my mouth. I know, and we masturbate to you. We watch videos of you, and that's how she climaxes. Gabby, I'm going to be an asshole here. Okay. Please get me a fucking sweetener from my latte. Oh, that could how she climaxes. Gabby, I'm going to be an asshole here. Okay. Please get me a fucking sweetener from my latte.

Oh, that could have been way worse. I'm the T2. Can I get another T2? T2. Yeah. T2 judgment done. I spoke to a T2. Welcome. Welcome.

All Harvey Bob March March 4th 2020. Bobby spills his T5 billion people die. Welcome to YKWD with the regs. You don't like the new intro. I mean you're in it. Thanks. I'm not in it I'll give me I'll bring Dorosa back for to have the old intro so you don't want this new one Nope, I like the new one. I hate it I didn't hear it because those guys were yelling but am I in it? What do I say do I say something fun? Yeah, you say something like I'm the truth No, I never said that you go like this you go. Yeah, Bernie's the winner. What I don't know I'm just you just excluded me cuz he's want me to hurt no you weren't here. I

Hurt myself today great version when I heard the new intro Bobby left me out and now I am so sad. But you can't go further. That's all you got. What have I become a serious ex-adm-de-j-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g Everyone I know asks for money in the end. What have I become too good for podcasts? For a busy schedule, maybe you've never watched Showtime. I'm on to page head. I still live in the department that I could have bought nine years ago. Yet I live with Becky on.

Yeah. Yeah. By the way, it's just to, it's just to be nice to Vecchio. We really should not Dan. It's because Dan's a good person. Yeah, but, Neal Brennan goes to Vecchio to go. So you're just like, now you guys choose to live together. I'm, I'm, I'm, weird. I don't know.

It's, it's weird. The sex is outstanding. Yeah, is he good? I can't leave my Italian meatball. The sex is outstanding. Yeah, is he good? I can't leave my Italian meatballs. He locks his shoulders. I don't pick them. I don't have that bad pose. I don't have that.

You pretend you're that the of the show. We should go around the girl on billions. Yeah, we should go around our, go around in a circle and do the sound we think we would make, marketing butt fucked, if we were getting butt fucked. I know what it'd be mine.

Well, it'd be yours. Oh. Oh, I think I have mine somewhere. What's my phone? Yeah. Oh know it'd be mine well it be yours. Oh, I think I have mine somewhere Be yours I go like this And then I go and then And then maybe this little to I go I go My would be all Louis. I like that.

Kiss my neck, Louis. Kiss my neck. Can I just jerk off in front of you? I don't like to finish in here. I don't like context. I don't want to finish in here. You taping tonight? What?

You taping this week at the seller tonight? Why do you want to know that? He's right. You're out for it. I can tell. Also, you came in with some fresh re-box. Yeah. You got your skins all puffed up. There's some spooked out.

What do you mean by skins puffed up? I'd smooth. I meant to say puffed. I said puffed. Yeah. Yeah, you're, you're, you look nice. Skin looks nice. It's, it's, it's his butt.

He is, he's the problem. It, but, uh, Joe doesn't have to compliment people. Joe, Joe's trying to say you look good. Thank you. But in said he has to break you down and say, oh, you must be doing television because you wouldn't normally look good. Thank you, you'd be the lowest. That's exactly right.

Yeah. I think you look like a cab driver on the up and up. You look like you want your medallion. Yeah. Yeah. You look like a cab driver from the good old days. Yeah, you remember what I mean? Things were good.

You mean Trump days. Yeah. We think a cab driver that would never pick up black people. Yeah. You also look like you call your- I look like a cab driver that didn't have to. Yeah. You also look think a cab driver that would never pick up black people. Yeah. You also look like you call other. I look at cab driver that didn't have to. Yeah. You also look like a cab driver that calls other cab drivers

first generation drivers. That's like the way you get racist. You got two menza. Yeah. We have fun. And then you fuck you out. We were having fun. We were having fun.

I'm proud. What's going on? I go guys. Yeah. Hey, hoodie guys. But you're ited fellows. But you are taping tonight. What you are taping Why are you saying don't avoid the question? I just want you to answer the question. Why you addressing your best shirt?

Not my best shirt. That is We definitely see if he keeps on mirroring you. This is a technique. I've been reading a book specifically on negotiating I hate I hate CEO Lewis Where he goes? I actually have this new this book on, where I imagine my power and then it comes to me. He's a fruition. There's no Bobby's doing it because he's then repeating the question back to you. It's called mirroring.

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a get you to break. He's trying to break you because he's not willing to break. We leave Joe Liskos. I gave him a thousand dollars. How did that happen? Uh-huh. But Joe is keeps nagging me because he wants me to like, because he wants you guys to fuck. Yeah. He keeps nagging me. So what did you say? Why is keeps nagging me because he wants me to like. Oh, because he wants you guys to fuck.

Yeah, he keeps nagging me. So what did you say? Why are you nagging Joe? Why are you nagging Bob? Why my nagging? You're a real nigger. Oh, that's probably me. That's easy.

We were saying nagging. Why do you say you're dirty nigger? You have an actual career. You know who was just kicking it up and out. Mally Ashie Nigger. What? That's what he said. Do you guys ever, do you remember that South Park

where they did the Wheel of Fortune? Yeah. And he goes, this is a group of people that bother you. Yeah, people that annoy you. Nagger. Oh, the guy behind the camera, this looks at Randy Murray. The best is Randy's face, because he's like,

I don't know, I shoulda say it. I shoulda said it. And then he goes, he goes, Niggers, and have said. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I go on the Patreon, I assume. What do you mean why? Why? Fucking hilarious. Cause they're saying the, no, they said nags. They said nags. You're nagging me.

Oh, thank you, buddy. Oh, these lids don't really stay on to. All right, Kathy Reggio, kind of a fucking loser in there, you know, they're touched. Yeah, they're losing their touch. You'll get the tuna sandwich there. That was a good. Tuna sandwich with potato salad.

It's off the fucking charge. It's toasted bread. I love to. We'll be fat again in them. I mean, he can't even do what he's describing. What I can't be sandwich. He's like a sandwich. What is the best? Best sandwich I've ever had in my life. What do you mean? It's in the airport, it's in that plebbing with the slide on it. You pull it back. A blempe is in Winnipeg, Canada. Best sandwich in the world. I really love blimpies is blimpies slow around fuck blimpies Jimmy Jones Jimmy Jones sucks number five compared to blimpies number five Blimpies I enjoyed the blimpies tuna in a very very big way you guys ever hear a subway

Bad dude, so is thanks. What? And the guy that spokesman rapes children, you know, you know the guy There's a subway in my town, and there was an Indian family that bought it, and they stopped paying the money, and they just painted over the subway part, but they kept the colors on the awning and inside, and they just wrote sub sandwiches.

Sub sandwiches. Where it said, subway. So you drive by, you think it's a subway. I was in there halfway through, I looked at the ham. I was like, is that rainbow ham? Like, and I looked up, I go, what is this? It's sandwiches. You got duped, they duped your dumbass.

It's fucking got me. You guys, it's subway, it goes. If you wanted to be. It's sandwiches. You want sandwiches? Better to get king, shop right, whatever you like. My friend, my friend, sandwich. Is it basketball robins?

It's robin robins. What? What's robin robins 32 flavor One of a machine Not becoming a doctor like your family. I wanted you to be the ham was just like an inch thick Like you cut it with a steak knife dude. You got that fucking foreskin there. It was bad. Oh be careful Bob. Why that's too hot Whoa, I'm a man. You're at your lips and you're best part of your body. Yeah, they really are.

You're at your lips. You know, I think if somebody was taking a fucking chain saw to your heart, what are you doing? No, that's your best part. Don't fuck up your lips. Yeah, I think somebody was pointing lava down dance throughout. Imagine that.

No. That was the best part of you. You just fixed his voice. I go, hey guys, it's me, regular voice Dan. What's going on? Dan, did you have to clear his throat? I go, oh. Hey everybody.

Wow. Oh wow. I don't need the effects of your strangers. I'm off to live in Denver. Bye everyone. You'm off to live in Denver. Bye everyone. You move back to Denver. No, I moved, uh, I don't know, Western mass, maybe just get a cab.

Really, Burke shares. Living the woods, dude. Who lives up on the, how do you know about the Burke shares? You don't know me, you don't know what my past is. What the fuck is, you don't know the Burke shares. I'm born identity. What girls family lives in the Burke shares? Max, and there you go.

You know, I was get no shit about it. I was like, oh, this is pretty nice. I like it out here. I always wanted to try OxyContin. Yeah, do you know the smash nut pills? You've never tried OxyContin? Dude, if I did opiates, I'd just be under the George Washington Bridge right now.

What would you be doing under there? Opiates. Oh, opiates and the pecking. I would be nice doing heroin. That would be nodding off, waking up angry and getting more. I didn't think anyone heard this. I'm gonna check another stab at it. Opia's in Anthony.

I sure you wanted to do that one again. I think we did hear it, but comedy. Who's up, and Dana? It's right there. How about Ron? How about Ron and- Oh, don't throw a wet- Get about it.

It's kind of nice actually. I like it. Look at Talette. It's cool. That's it. It's like a shit put on there. Um, are you guys, is it me or is there, is it me? Or is there more Asian people on the streets than usual? Dun dun dun dun. Finally, we get to the issue. I've been waiting for four years. I slept in a girls house in Chinatown the other day, and I walked out and I was like, I held my breath for five bucks. Dude, I had I I fucking literally went I had to like my shirt over my face

Day I wouldn't breathe or make eye contact with anybody. They give you an Uber home when you do the comedy seller table thing Yeah, you went late till you're doing it tonight, right? What? You mean I gotta do the podcast you're doing the podcast. Yeah, I'm doing the, dressed up for us. That's why, that's a photo line. Oh, I'd be grateful. I had a business meeting before this. What was your business meeting?

He's gonna start a Newsy stand. Yeah. You bring it back, I love papers for sale. You know, the newspaper business is almost completely dead. I'm pretty journalist, I'm just done, dude. I'm actually playing the corner man for Ray Lewis play. Oh, that's Ray Lewis. Come on, Ray, you can do it.

The Ray Lewis play. Oh, sorry. The guy that the linebacker that stabbed two men before the group. I was thinking of the boxers. Isn't there a black dude? Jolo, sorry. Yeah. Sometimes they get confused. They gave a, they said you home in a lift after the

comedy seller thing and the driver was like. Foreign. I don't know what kind of foreign one I couldn't put my thumb on but all the same. But he's like, oh, I'm just coughing. The whole drive home. I had the window cracked. I was breathing. Oh God. Don't fucking die because I didn't

fuck at the table with a comedy seller show on the fucking college. It's like a James Bond movie. Yeah. You know, I got nothing today. Huh? It's two in a row. You doing a drop time. You know, right? You look good. They sent they sent you a lift. There's a bobby a Oh, I thought you weren't be he still got it. He still got it. He still got it. I did Lewis What you picking those yeah, dude coronavirus ain't up there dog. I mean I really see a lot of It's like is it like when you're trying to buy a car and all of a sudden you never see Toyota Corals But now you see a ton of them love a Corolla more of an East on ultima God, but you know what I'm saying that thing where you never saw it before now You see because you you want one now now I'm looking out and there's a bunch of Asian people that were mask

All the Toyota's A couple Hondas and Toyota's on my subway Nice Hyundai you brush up against me on the subway At a misubishi I find it problematic that you find Asian people invisible unless they pose a problem to you. No, that's not true. Yes, yes. When I'm hungry, I fucking see a ton of them too.

Yeah, and then you eat and then you see them again. It's like it doesn't stay. Never later. Hey, we're back. We're back. It's cylinders are all bags. Yeah, I just, are you afraid of getting this thing Joe? No, no, you don't give a shit.

Cause you have a little OCD. I'm not yellow. He's got herpes. What would you rather? Herpes are coronavirus. I'd rather Corona Corona Corona Corona. Corona come out of that. I'll come out of the other end. Yeah, come out. Yeah. 36. It's only killing joke on herpes. Wally was drinking Corona. Yeah. It's probably cause of Corona.

That's why I bang that chicken. The fuck it? Play playground. You guys really squished that Corona joke didn't you? Corona. Hey, I'm like, go all. I'm not yellow. Nothing. It's a double meaning. I like it, but you know what? Yellow means scared. I feel like I'm working at a higher level than you guys. Could you bring it up a little bit? Is that possible? Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, you're really bringing it. It was a good racist pun. Bobby showed up, ready to tape, you showed up on another level. What times you're set tonight when you're taping? What's set?

What's a set tonight? Yeah, you're doing the commis social. What are you talking about? What are you doing on the show? No, you're doing it. Have you done it? Yeah, J and I did it. You did it to a J.

Oh, that's cool. Have you done it? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. You've done it too, right? Yeah, I just did it last week. No, I haven't done last week No, I haven't done it. I hope both places die Live with the same on YouTube. You haven't done that one Lewis Lewis gets booked by bringing a school shooter mentality

to everybody. God, I, everyone pay. I, I, I, I, I, we don't want you to kill people beyond the show. I did. I really would be the fucking trench coat mafia of the comedy series. I show up.

You would be the only, you would be the only one by myself, nobody will talk to me. Yeah, just a long duster, you fucking black fingernail paint. Louis would also be the only school shooter with catch phrases as you shot someone you went In the dirt doggy Science can't help you guys holding up a book

Gotcha, I wonder how like you know those sushi places that the spinning thing goes around with just the sushi out in the open around with just the sushi out in the open. Yeah, I want to be done too, right? The sushi trains, that's another one. The sushi train, and then they have one where these fountains come down, and the noodles come down the fountain, and you grab the noodles out of the fountain. Where is that Atlantis?

I know, sort of things. It dreams. I think it's really, it's where you walk a factory he goes to of sushi. For Pad Thai. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, dream that you had. Dream that you had.

That was your surgery dream. You were I. Yeah. Yeah. He walks in. He's just like, if you want to view paradise, you need to run into it. Never have I run into it. The shoots spaghetti into your mouth. Yeah.

You know, super-sokers, you pump it up and you shoot noodles in your friend's mouth. Is the meatball gun done? We're probably done with the meatball gun. There was a pre-pandemic Chinese restaurant around here, right? You just go into a dark room, you hear fluttering wings, you go out, you reach, and you get your own bat. You bring it to the club. They cook it. I'll have you like.

They put you in a dark room covered in meat. You just start inviting and whatever you like, you get the pizza, go to this recolored restaurant where a girl that have cool-aid stains, all over her. You grab her, you ring out the shirt and your own mouth, feed your friends. And it was a Saturday. Heating dogs that are alive. That we've just warmed in a blanket. That's probably done right? We got this new baby bird way of eating where the oldest gentleman at your table choose your food spits it directly in Diagolid. Oh baby birds Okay. You're gonna be darned. That's what we like to call in the business, making the clip.

How you doing? I'm stupid. My stomach. My stomach. No, my stomach is killing. Is it like, does every time you laugh, does your butt shoot out like one of those stress things that you grab in the eyes?

No, my belly button right. I'm unfortunately because of the size of the hernia. It's you don't got a bad guy. I'm just saying. You know your pack in her. It's all right. Bobby, you worked out for three weeks on Instagram and you had to go on me to get a surgery.

Well, here's, here's a problem. I worked out for a month. Greg. I was in the last city challenge. And one of the reason you got this travel down to your belly button, then came out. I've had the I've had the the hernia for like three years. But one of the reasons why I got that one of the reasons I got the surgery is that on the Instagram when I was doing it live, I was reading the comments

and it was like, good for you. Great job. Awesome. Hey, what's wrong with his belly button? Oh, somebody saw the herniac shirt. Do my workout shirt. I was like, maybe it's getting too big with people noticing it. Yeah, they get to know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're not. I went and got a fix. But now I have a very because he fit this guy's amazing. He did such a great job and my belly button looks awesome. It looks perfect but it's very deep.

Like I have a very deep belly button now. So it's a wish not a report. What? I had it many but I mean look I'm, I'm fat. So it's deep, but it's it's probably a little deeper now because he had to, you talk that there was a, there was literally this hernia in the belly button, making the belly button bigger. So as that hernia gets bigger, if it, you know, as it was getting, it was making my belly button bigger. So then when he took it out, he had to fix all that shit,

but it's very deep right now. So I got to make sure I clean my belly button. It's cool that Max can throw his wishes down there. How's it going to say? How deep is it? A pinkies with and I'm talking. How many of you have been talking? I'm going to show you what it looks like. You want to see it? I'll show you the belly button before and after. Can we see your penis as well or is it?

At the end. 10 as a right. Is there a youth Chilean soccer team down there? Is your belly button more of a grower or a show? If you were a deeper're a weeper. Oh, it's Joe DeRosa. Did we get that thing in? You want to talk to Joe?

Yeah. Hey, Joe, you're alive on the YKWD, Adam Forever, Paul Versey and, um, Rich Voss. Sorry. I Joe. That's how you get a giant city Jew walk into a podcast. Yeah. Sorry I One of them hit the number and you walk into the club and introduced a headliner He said you

He's still got it He said you walk into the club and introduced a headliner. He's a conksite. He's so funny. Makes me sick the most. Well, yeah, it's a fun. I didn't sign on for this. All right, buddy. You got anything to plug? No, I'll see you. All right, buddy. You got anything to plug? Now I'll see no show no show. No, I want you on my It's Adam. I guess it to stand what would you tell joy one of my podcast? Hey Adam Frauer want you on his podcast. Well, he's in town. Can you do it?

Absolutely great great. Yeah, Adam hit me up Great, great. Yeah, Adam, hit me up. I have a number. No, no, boss, do you want boss on? Adam. What? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. How you making out?

What? Yes, I want boss on. Hey, Joe, we can talk about gambling all night, bro. Joe, what's your website? Younger. Hi, hung up. What do you mean when you're in town, you moved to LA? I was back and forth, I still got the house there, but I still got the apartment here. Oh, you mean when you're in town? You moved to LA? I was back and forth.

I still got the house there, but I still got the apartment here. Oh, great. Man, I'm back. How's your life? She's good. Good. Bonnie's good. Everybody.

He's a boss. Lawson, he started a side podcast again. You were stuck. I must have happened. It sounded like the call drops when I was plugging. Oh, no. Where was it? I knew.

I called back to say I knew you were gonna do that. I uh... Vos is like heaven. Vos is literally like you like heaven and old uncle around. You just can't yell that for fucking it being an asshole. And as soon as you get another chance, really how's that going? Well you know what I was saying to him and brought me up do you want for some I love that work you want for some to podcast so I always want you on the podcast no you said that you have to want for some your podcast so how am I not gonna say

something to him you're the one who set that up You fucking dumb deloies Sure I'm pretty sure is used that I've been used in my life. I think you have In his eyes that's new Tom tell a good one that's you read that down. Yeah fucking big one of the fucking fucking fucking fucking Make me someone Ah shit me So can we talk? Well, you have this Christ. I saw you have it.

I saw you having a show at the Underground. I don't know if it's a riot, I can't show, but I'm not on it. You weren't on it. It was tight. It was tonight. What the fuck? Can I tell you why you weren't on it?

Why? Nobody likes you. Why don't you do the job? No, no, no. We were trying to have the shows on. We wanted you and we're gonna have you in Bonillon, but Bonny was away. So, and we had, we were so guy heavy,

and we had two girls on, Sarah and Adrian, because their podcast is coming to riot cast, and they canceled last minute. And it wound up being sucky, but, you know, whatever. And then the crowd. It was a great crowd. Upstairs, downstairs packed, great crowd. So it was a little guy heavy, you know.

And I forgot Gabby, I should have had Gabby come on and do a set, Mike actually murdered. Which room? What, it was downstairs. What, a cat? They're both downstairs. The downstairs. No, one's upstairs. Yeah. What? The fat black is upstairs and then the big room's downstairs. What, a cat? They're both downstairs. No, one's upstairs. Yeah.

The fat black is upstairs and then the big room's downstairs. Oh, okay. We'll walk you over there and show it to you later. And he's fucking past. Anyways, yeah. We're gonna start doing this more. No, we're gonna start doing those more. And we want you and Bonnie to be on it as a podcast.

Yeah, next time I'll have, you know, Gabel and me, I'll have Mike on, we'll have you, we'll have, I want Chip to do a show, you know, and then have the, we wanted Yannis and Chris, they, Chris Bale. No, Chris is on the, Chris. On the cruise, yeah, so we set it up. It was supposed to be podcast, whatever,

I'll explain it to you. I get it. We've literally talked about no topics. We're gonna talk about this. We'll go back to the feet. I want to talk about this. Yeah, you're right. We did have a foot topic. We had a fucking great foot topic.

Yeah. And if you listen to the intro, there's no topics. Well, you can do topics. I don't do topics. All right. All right. I don't do topics. All right. All right. We just call the con. This is a comic hang.

You understand? Yeah, yeah. So that's what we do. Okay. Please don't take your foot off. No. No, he'll throw up. Oh my god There's only four Look at his toe perversi look at his pinky. You got to look at the pinky

What? Versi you got to look at the pinky. You got to look at the pinky show the pinkie Hell is Rick bring the foot over. What do you look next to a reactor? No show on the pinky. Why are you doing? There is no pinky show on the pinkie. No, you got to look at show look at the pinky You got Denzel's finger foot Oh, is it broken? Is it broken? You got Denzel's finger foot. He's got the worst pinky toe. Oh my god. I'm on you, so buy me the wrong side shoes. What high heels?

Holy shit. I bought those. That's why you can only count the 19. Oh my. Fuck it, Verzy. That foot is fucked up. I'll give you $10 if you suck my dough. Oh, I fucked up. God, the fuck, it lives in WestJet.

Dude, I would think about 10 grand. I'd have to think about 10. 10 grand? Alright, 20 grand. 20 fucking grand. You put his toe in your mouth. Get the think about 10 10 grand. All right 20 grand 20 fucking grand You put his toe in your mouth. Yeah, the fuck who's gonna come up with 20 grand? I would you would I would yeah I put my toe in my mouth for five hundred for $50 right now couple scratch offs No, I got 50 bucks right here says you don't stick your that little that nub in your mouth I got a hundred bucks as you can't

says you don't stick that little that nub in your mouth. I got a hundred bucks as you can't. He's talking to me, man. You talking to me on him. Oh, he's gonna put his own foot in his mouth. But he'll break his hip for that month. We doesn't every show. He doesn't. What's his foot in his mouth?

He does? You do? No, no, no, no, no, no, no were fucking to Not that's how are you even call you? He just scratched his nose with this fucking big toenail your fault Why my thought because when you say we were gonna go to a topic We then you said we had a topic you brought the feedback in oh no, yeah, whenever you bring up It's like show and tell when you bring up feet for me. Oh my god. Mm-hmm. Holy fuck what a foot Anyways, I'm not the foot. It's the pride you have in the foot. That's that's What it's my dead toe, okay? It's a dead toe. Hey, what do you mean dead? Let's show the children? I can't move it

Buddy, it's not it's part of the other toes now. It just sucks. Like the other toes have claimed that. I hate more. Yeah, those are just swim better. Surgery fixing. Surgery fixed. Why would I get it fixed? Who cares?

Yeah, he's got fucking 10 years left. Why is he going to get it? Wow, that's really, well, 15. All right, well, 15. All right, wait a minute. What's the over? 20, 20. How old are you? You like 52? I'm the 52. Four. But you four, you're looking good. You're keeping your age.

Yeah, you work out. What? Well, I think about it. What do you want to fuck them? Back in the day. Listen, when you had the ringlets in your hand, you're a good looking man. It's likely to be similar in the sense that most people won't get it and the vast majority of people who get it won't die. But there'll still be tragedy and the numbers are going to be staggering.

But as a percentage, there'll be various. Now, they have it Westchester, a Neuro Show. A hundred people have it from one guy the the national guard is there they stay they's uh quarantine a certain mile radius uh and now it is that I mean people tell me like you're gonna get it you know you're gonna get it you're just gonna get it so prepare to get it and you might get it not how I get a fever you might get it and not have get a fever You might but you probably not gonna die because your age or whatever, but we're gonna get it is that is a we

Because we're new rush L There's a hundred people that have it and they're already, you know, taking measures to limit it so You know at China has a billion people of the world wide. There's still only 126,000 cases. Now, we're still very early into this, but if it's anything like the influenza pandemic, again, most people actually won't get it. And to the question about genetics, probably is some genetic factors in that.

It's unlikely that any one virus will kill all of us. No matter how virulent it is, there will be some people that through some genetic factor are resistant to it. Right. Um, I, I, what he left, but we don't know who those people are ahead of time. We'll only know after. What's that? I was looking at Chuck and I was nodding like, oh yeah.

I told you, I told you, the room was right. Yeah. Well, maybe. Now, I have another read at the first death in Africa from this virus was actually a German citizen.

So it may be right. We'll see. Now, don't dance. Oh my god. That's so racist. It's like reverse racism right here on the YKWD. So let me ask this question though. I want to know, I mean everybody's saying that some lady had batsuit and and that's what happened. I mean, and there's a video of some lady eating Batsoop. And it was hot of this. And then other people, like, I heard on Rogan, maybe this was engineered.

Maybe this is something that was put out there. I heard someone on the CDC actually talk about that. They were saying they found a butcher, that someone who butchered bats in Wuhan actually came in contact that 90% sure to think that's what happened. So is that, what do you do know anything? Now nobody does.

Here's the thing. The first thought it came from a snake, then it was suspicious that there's a virology lab in Wuhan. The only way that you would know if this was a manufactured virus is if you sequence the DNA and you find a serial number in it, or somebody puts their initials in it, you know, they have completely sequenced this thing. There doesn't seem to be anything artificial.

It looks like it's just a standard coronavirus. If this is manufactured, well then it's merged, manufactured, it's SARS manufactured. I mean, we've got these two other viruses. We don't feel like they were manufactured. So it's most likely this is zoonotic. Coronavirus is our zoonotic, which means that we get them through transmission from infected animals.

And it could have been a snake, it could have been a bat, who knows. I mean, who hasn't enjoyed a nice bat? Sex, who from time to time. I don't think we can blame it on her. But this is something that did jump species is what you're saying. Yes. The coronavirus is known to do that. Wow.

So basically, what is the best case scenario and then give me the worst case scenario? Okay, well, is that another good question? That was a very good question. Let him say it doesn't count for me. I'm sorry. Was that a good question or an awesome question? It's a very good question. Come on, very good. That's one good, one very good and an awesome. I'm blowing you away. That one's making money. Well, like the bomb fire. All right, you know what, Joe, I fucking had you back. Go ahead. Everyone's making money. Well, like the bomb fire. All right.

You know what, Joe, I fucking had you back for a little bit, but that's inappropriate. Yeah. Well, you always have his back in that case. Bobbi, you look slender. You don't need my help anymore. I'm gone. So whereas I'm helping you sleep, so you stop saying logs at night and keeping everyone in the fucking five mile radius awake.

I've never seen Kalta. We went camp and comedy camp this summer. I've never seen Dan Soda. I've never seen a mad at anybody. I mean, the for God's sakes, his name is corporate Dan. He does not get mad at fucking people. I've always seen him work it out or try to deal with any time I get mad. He's like, do you settle down always trying to bring the this kid when he, I sent Mike and we rented a cabin for big

J is girl and for, and Dan because they're not campers. I know, even though they have the blonde fire and crackle crackle and the fans of campers, it's all fucking facade. It's nothing. It means nothing to us. Camping means nothing to us. Camping means nothing to us. I literally said you should come to comedy camp and do a live bonfire next to a bonfire. Which we did, which was very fun.

Yeah, but you guys did. You guys were like, oh yeah, like it didn't even fucking hate you. I mean, I guess we're not nature nerds like you. Oh, so anyways, we get them to think I put mush Mike, because Mike doesn't have intent. I put mush in the cabin with with Dan. I think he was above you, right? Yeah, dude. He was up in the he was up in the loft sleeping and I was below on the couch and I got the couch and I was like, game over, I could sleep on a couch perfectly. And then I fell asleep for like 45 minutes and then I started, you know, it's like, ah,

that'll stop eventually. I've dealt with some snores and for a solid seven hours, it was the loudest thing to the point that I made peace with it. I did so many cycles of like making peace with it. I did so many cycles of making peace with it. I'm like, oh, man. Guys, live like this every night. You're all right. You can get through tonight to being like,

I fell asleep to being like, shut the fuck up. Not the fuck up. And then back around, you know what, man, it's not his fault. I did that full cycle three times. Bobby, do you still have the picture on your phone from when I woke up?

I look 90 years old. My face is puffy and cracked. And I'm just like, I was just out having a coffee by the fire and everyone's like, you're all right. Good fucking sleep. I'm trying to lug a sleep out in the machine on a camping trip. Dude, yeah, that's when I realized, well, Mike and I talk because I genuinely did feel like, dude, that's fucking crazy.

People at Snorr, I didn't know Sal Volcano told me that he had sleep apnea, and when he finally got the machine, he was like, oh, I could finally sleep. Like this is insane. Dude, can I tell you what's fucked up, is that I have the machine. I took the sleep test years and years ago, and they were like, nah, you're just fat in your snorr.

Then I got, then we've got worse. My brother's in the medical field, but he's not a doctor. He schedules, he runs surgery centers. So he had the machine and he gave it to me. And I started using it on my own without a doctor's prescription. And it was helping me sleep better. But I didn't adjust, I adjusted the air too high

and it inflated my lungs too much. And my lungs and the message of my brain to shut down. So I woke up in the middle, and I just thrown a blood and I was like fuck probably a good idea. I thought I'd doctor if you're gonna do that. That's so funny. You take the mask off of it. Oh I ran to the man was coughing and I blood. It was pink and I was like I'm dying. I'm dying. And then we looked it up and it said too much air will inflate your lungs and your brain automatically shut them down. I couldn't take a deep breath. I had thrown it before crying. I was cool. Dang. I tried.

Dude, it was, let me be. It was me. It was me. You're me. Why you me or Jen? Fuck, I had a line. I've been spewing for five minutes. I was wondering why I didn't hit. God damn it. It was good. Dude, I'm doing it.

Come on. You got it. It was good. Dude, you're doing it. Come on, you got it. Daddy woke up and he looked 90 years old and I said, you're ripped, Dan Stinkle. You know what? I'm kind of glad those on mute. I didn't hear it. There's Rip Van Wingson. I got no, I got no, I'm old. I understood it and I'm choosing not to acknowledge it.

You know what I see that bomb back? Listen, listen. Listen listen. Dude that tearing sound is not someone getting rid of files. That's Mike's trying to breathe at night. I don't know what the recording of your last set. This is my word. This is all night. The wonder Ellen hates you. Dude, it was fucking insane. He comes out, but then something happened where you will like fuck you you have to step for two hours No, I yelled at Mike. I went I've been awake for the last four hours No, you stay awake the next four hours. I'm a fucking thing to sleep and then he was like yeah And by the way Mike was so fucking sweet about the whole thing. You just like I'm sorry man

I'm sorry about that. I'll stay awake. You're right. And then I went to sleep in an hour later to sir You fall asleep. I was sitting up and I still fell asleep. I know, sitting up and he's like, you don't. I fell asleep again. I was so afraid to fall asleep. I told you I have two things. That thing from Canada that you got that didn't work. It works on me, but the only I can't use it only emergencies because it I told you I have two things. That thing from Canada that you got that didn't work. It works on me, but the only, I can't use it only in emergencies

because it loosens the bottom row of my teeth. Cool. Because it only does these right here. It doesn't do the whole row. It does the whole top and just five of the bottom. Six of the bottom. So I move and my teeth were getting loose. So I had to get, I had to get this other one

for my dentist that does the whole thing and it dampens my snore. Dammit. I don't mean. Because I still like this. I woke up on a plane doing this. Yeah. Yeah.

You have old timey sleepy sheriffs? I have three studious snore. And I literally turned to me and the girl was staring at me like this to check next to me. I was going, uh, Lord knows how long. It could have been an hour. It could have been five seconds. The one way you're lips are so puffy.

He's been popping them out. He's been doing it with exercises. But if I put this mouthpiece in that my dentist got me, I do this. So that's adorable. You actually have like a mouse sleeping in a matchbox nor. If you were to sit next to me in a flat, I turn over and I go, you're a little kiss on my head.

Oh, on a shiny head. Yeah. Oh, remember flights? Oh. No, it's pretty sweet. Here's a thing, guys, when you fly out, it's a 14-day quarantine wherever you go. So if I went to visit Mike in Florida right now, I have to stay there for 14 days. You should just drive down here now.

I'm telling you before the shit is the fan. It's about to hit the fan. Hit the fan. Well, the chicken hit the fan in Florida too. You guys aren't even taking it serious down there. No, you guys keep on fucking kissing booths and fucking. You guys open more glory holes. Yeah, I love it.

You know, in series, the sheriff went arrested a pastor for holding church on somebody. and fucking you guys open more glory holes. Yeah, I love it. And serious, the sheriff went arrested a pastor for holding church on something. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. I read that article that's fucking balls. You look way man. I love the Lord and I love y'all's money. Let's get together. Are you watching Tiger King?

Oh, yeah, dude, I already went through Tiger King. In fact, I went through Tiger King so fast It wedded my appetite for the weird and wild whites of West Virginia Yeah, go watch that documentary. You want to see some white trash. That's a powder. I saw that that was actually good with it with the tap dancing Yeah, Jethro just go white. Jessica. Yeah, the outlawed dancer is you Dennis No, just go away. Jessica, yeah, the outlawed answer. This is you, Dennis. This is you.

But in your another Carol Baskins is in your area. So my buddy Chad is a sheriff in Tampa and I had him on the air this morning and he's reopening the case. He's going after, he's looking for, you know, he's got a bunch of leads already. And he, she, she, she's the only person that refused the polygraph test. Well, I said to him, I go, so I'm just going to assume you're watching it over the weekend. And you were like, she fucking killed her husband. He's like, pretty much.

Dude, that's so weird. That's so weird that you, you're doing binge-worthy things and you're just in the position of power. I think I'm going to reopen this piece. He's the same share if that went arrest of the pastor. That's nuts. This guy's getting a ton of work from coronavirus. Dude, let me tell you about this sheriff.

He is the greatest guy. He's literally a billionaire. He married into the Bartolow family that you started. Oh, shout out the Bartolows for starting to own into 49ers. That's right. Yeah. What's that? What's that?

What's that? Yeah. I was just trying to be part of the fun. It was fun. It's hard to do. He is the most resource of any law enforcement agent you'll ever see. He's a fucking billionaire. And he puts in, you know, 20 hours a day like he legitimately wants the job. So he's a good dude. Oh, and he's going to open the case on Carol Baskins. he's going to open the case on Carol Baskins. He's going to close the case and Carol Baskins. Hey cool cats and kittens. And Mike, can you bring up Rick Crumb, a photo of Rick Crumb, the comedian? And I mean, how much does he look like Carol Baskins?

A new, a new fucking husband. It's almost ridiculous. Dude, he's the king of c. And the husband is gay for sure. Yeah, you definitely think he's tapped on some feet and some bathroom. I think so. Yes. You think he's gay?

I bet that dude jerks off the cats. I bet he's into cats. Oh my god. Yeah, I thought that was actually the husband. Is that weird? That's like him. That's amazing. I mean, that's Rick Chrom. He's very funny and gay,

but he looks exactly like Carol's husband now, right? Is that guy really funny? Except he doesn't have access to fucking cool ass tigers. Yeah, he's funny. We're not gonna trash him. How, what do you think we're gonna trash Rick Chrome? I don't know the fuck Rick Chrome is, but if you ask me to pick a draw guy who doesn't look funny,

I would draw that guy. I remember, I remember Pete Chrome, and I found out Rick Chrome was gay. Pete Crowley comes out of the room with the stall, and he goes, Jesus Christ, the guy's so gay. I go, Rick's gay, he went, what? Yeah. And he points in there and he's on the piano going,

you can sacrifice just sacrosanum. I was like, oh shit, yeah, I didn't put that together. Finally clicked after watching him sing some show tunes on the piano. Some of the show tunes. So did you hear about this new back coin that's kind of there? They released a national park coin this year

2020 the US mint. It's a fucking bat. It's bad ass. Oh wow Corona is the father of Corona. I mean the year what a year to pick the dumb back to put on one of our coins. Wait, what kind of coin is it? It's a, it's a coin, a US minted coin this year for national parks, American Samoa, whatever, E-Prol and Pluribusum, it's a fucking dollar, I think. But there you go, it's a fucking dollar, I think. The thing is going on. I could just watch you going over stuff that's on money.

Yeah. You should go out and trust. I'm supposed to be reading the new members. There it is right there. Look at that. Oh, wow. It's a dollar. It looks like a bear.

What? Yeah, it looks like a bear. Yeah, it looks like a bear holding up garbage bags So like volume comes out I'm like wait you guys stop laughing and then still laughing again Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm the quickest analogy I've ever. I mean, Joseph looked like a bear. He just upped it to me. Bobby was ready to ship me. Shut up, man. For the bear thing. I got you back to him.

So I was like, huh? And I was like, done. Bobby was about, yeah, Bobby was about to dunk on me. And then you fucking stripped it out of his hand. Oh, because he looked when you hold the trash if I'd done that to my wife. I'm like, I'm taking the trash. That's how I'm hearing the trash out.

Get it above your shoulders. Oh, you motherfucker. Goddamn, funniest cock suckers alive. You've three people. You call to a ring. You're not Gabby, but Gabby, you're funny too. Gabby, you're great. You got some nice push jiggle

And me at 360 at three 368 Why would you do that that's not Is that mine Get down We got a button cam on bobby under the desk We got a button cam on Bobby under the desk Bobby when you push that this candy come out of your mouth No, it only comes out when I'm angry like a

I remember Max was Max was on the couch with a Max started playing with he goes this you bellyitis That sounds like it could be like an old school term for it. Well, you know what? The one I got is actually the most common, it happens to a lot of people. And it's not like my intestines, it's just, it's a little tear on the belly button. The wall is stomach and it's like fat. That's just, that's just a little fat.

It looks like it's frowty. It's yeah, but the ones that are really bad when the literally the intestines come out of the hole and they're on the outside of the stomach. Most of them go one of those up. I am the leader. I am your boss. Please listen to me. Don't listen to the hay-haired I'm not on the north. Okay, I'm a wizard. I've been promoted. I'm looking. It's just a lot of more for our little kids and those are kind of sad Yeah, bring it up. Why not? Yeah, come on. Fuck them. Oh, come on. Let's just see if her knees Come on one two three go That's terrible. All right, come on. One, two, three, go. Come on, let's try to get mush.

What the fuck? Come on. Let me get stuff there, Robbie. Yeah, you got it. All right, mush, maybe we shouldn't have done that. That's that. I was going into it with the best intentions. So let's make this funny. I feel like I'm gonna cry. That kids, well, that kid's been dead for years. It's fun.

Good. Grand Shepherd wrote the turkey's done. Yeah. I mean, listen was the dude. It's a fucking... Yeah, some of them can be bad. My mind's not that bad though. I'm getting it done because I, yeah, I'm trying to lose weight. And I don't want to lose weight and still have this little nugget sticking out. Yeah. And so my dog,

they're a friend of mine, our pan, who works at, hangs out at my cigar bar. He, that's his specialty. So it's like, I can fix that for you. There's nothing better in life. When you, your friend is a doctor, and you'd be like, I'll take care of that.

Just come on down. I'm doing it for free. No, my, no, I'm insurance. Okay. All right, Jesus Christ. You're so fucking project rat. Is he really? He really doesn't know anything about the day he went to

the doctor. He's like, they didn't charge me. I'm like, look at the cash register on the way out. Where they hear him. I brought 300 dollars and cash with me. I thought they were going to bang me out because my deductibles like 1800 and I got to pay that before they'll pay anything. So I figured I had a break them all some. You know, you can stop in between words and take a breath, right? Well, it's called the period of comma. You can use these things so you don't die in this podcast. Yeah, I was thinking they bring the thing out. I thought I was going to pamper before it all.

If he dies as a apartment, I don't make as much money. So I need to be on the job side. I got a pretty big umbrella policy role here. Yeah, I'm getting it fixed. December 10th, I'm getting it fixed. Just in time for space. Is it like an outpatient type thing? Are you in and out?

Are they supposed to? You're supposed to be in and out, but sometimes you have to stay if something goes wrong. So, he looked at it, I did the CAT scan, and he looked at it, and he said, it's affixable. So, but they can never, doctors, because people with such fucking garbage people, as you say, they can't give you, back in the day, they'd be like, dude, I take care of it, no problem, you're all set. They can't do that anymore because they've been sued so many times. They always have to give

you the percentage. They always have to go 20% of the people. It fails. You'll have to stay in the hospital and you'll probably die. They have to say, they have to give you that. You might die because I could sue them. I'd be like, you said it was going to be great. You said I was going to be fine. Now I got a fucking, you know, a scar from my neck down to my, my belly button because he had to take my intestines out. But he said it. He said it's gonna be fine. They did that with my eye too. What happened to your eye? I got I served like 10 years.

I'm not that fat. Is it coming out of his eye. You got a liar. You got to come back to soda. You're just that's coming in your ear too. What's that? I just I did. You're right. You see this?

I got like intensive surgery in a green room on Instagram live one night. I always had that. This is why you're the ball. That's why you're in charge. You're running things. Of course. Because even on this show, you just keep it a move it. I mean, he's just sitting there looking for things to do.

He's looking for things to eat or something. Yeah, look at him. He can't even keep bite-cocked that. Look at the snacks, look at the ball to play with. It's like having a fucking a baby burner. He's like, I call him like an old bird. He's like an old labrador. You know what I mean?

He's got hip display, shape, wall, those downstairs. Me and you that eye contact, he's all over the phone. Okay. He's like, he's chewing on catnet. What the fuck? I mean, it's a nicotine gum, man. It gets me all jacked up. You got me on the nicotine gum.

Blade the doctor scared to shit out of me. Still man, I can't smoke anymore. Yeah, everyone knows that. Yeah, yeah. Where did you learn that? I don't know. I just told you that. I would hang it.

I would big tobacco too. Me and Philip Morris playing the links. Told me it wasn't addictive. Dude, I'm just saying. Hey, you smoke cigarettes? I'd not need more. That's what. That's like noon today. No, this weekend, I stopped this weekend.

Go for your man. I was about last time I had a cigarette. That's good for you, dude. Yeah. This is Bobby fucking rips his knife fucking. I know you were smoking a pipe before. Yeah, I smoke, yeah, I gotta stop too. What's that all about?

What's your pipe? It's crazy. Sometimes I'll go there at literally 10 a.m. and he's smoking a cigar. Yeah, that's wild. Yeah, I'm a goddamn man. That's what I'm gonna do. Do you know that I was nothing to do with it?

I'll give you the cigar. What's with the pipes? What are the real men, real fucking men smoke pipes? Yeah, 1934, but you're not now. When men were fucking men. What are you on with? I'm gonna give it a life, you weren't alive. Listen, that's what men were men, okay?

So I take that as a compliment. You say that as an insult, your generation says that I say that as a compliment, okay? I got an insult. Your generation says that I say that as a compliment. Okay, I got a flag hanging outside. I got a fucking pike. I got some cherry tobacco. I got a fucking cigar. I'm ready to go.

Okay, George. I got a cowbell. Yeah. I want my dinner. I got a wooden tooth. The whole thing is going to go. I want a peg leg. peg leg in a hard pun.

I do have to stop though. I'm going to slow down on the tobacco. I think tomorrow I'm going to not smoke for the rest of the week. The only thing I'm worried about is that like yesterday I didn't smoke. The other two days I tried not to smoke any tobacco and either cigar or pipe. And I get very testy. Oh yeah. You get very, you know, like, you know,

fucking, and I'm trying to figure that out. I don't wanna hurt anybody emotionally. Jesus. I don't wanna break mush. This guy's welcome. You already have. You wanna play a cool big guy? He was like, I don't want to break mush. This guy's probably having a good way. We're gonna play a cool big guy. They would let you be saying that.

He's like, I don't want to hurt nobody. I'm gonna cut a decaffin some watercolors or something like that. I'm gonna get a little bit of water. I don't want to hurt nobody. I painted today. You did? I did. I painted.. You did? I did.

I painted. What's your body? I painted a, uh, uh, Max made me a pipe holder for my pipes. That's not. You can paint about the pipes. That's not what you mean. I can't have a picture of me smoking a pipe. It's a pain of fucking rainbow.

Just switch it up. But, you know, here's a thing though, is that you do go to these, you know, you got your shit tested, I gotta go for blood work. And the inevitable is coming, where you're gonna go and get this blood work, or you're gonna get a test and then go, I'm gonna need to talk to you.

Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna go and get that phone call right now. She said I won't call unless there's something wrong. There's no way there's not something wrong. My cholesterol has to be through the roof unless I'm some kind of miracle modern science. You know, it's funny that certain guys, big guys, like that, all that fat holds them together.

And then when they lose weight is when they wind up dying. My biggest fear, man, my biggest fear that I'm gonna stop doing, stop drinking, stop smoking, and then I they lose weight is when they wind up dying. Right. Biggest fear, man. My biggest fear that I'm going to stop doing stop drinking, stop smoking and then I'm going to die. Like right now, my body's operating on some weird packed with the devil. Why are you talking about? He's a first. I'm telling you, crazy person. I could.

I haven't believe in your first. Your first fear should be heart disease. Not the fact that you really want to wait and then die die that's crazy. That's what happened Bobby doesn't I always happen to the guy and it's always before their birthday I believe you for it's a believe that John You're two guys. Yeah, all right skinny people you two fucking twinks That's not skinny anymore by the way I put it all Yeah, you're a kid fat. You're you're a kid fat your you're

Testines came out of my belly button. Okay, talk to me when that happens, okay? man, but what happens listen John Panette lost weight gone Kevin Meeney lost weight Right look at you know why they died though. It's because they were fat It's not because they got skinny. Do you know what I mean? That's pretty good. No, that's not true I know they I think that it's a jinx. I think it's the fat jinx. Yeah, you got to keep going baby No room for quitter than the USA you're losing weight you're looking fantastic thank you very much it's all I was fishing for I was waiting oh yeah I know he's taking he's driving a cool house to country to have a fucking turkey dinner in a castle with fucking yeah in a castle they're gonna fucking right up with the turkey on white

horses they're gonna fucking have to pull up together yeah can I have the can I have a? Can I have the drumstick mic? No forget that forget the sliced ham bring in the pig we're gonna slaughter the pig I'm gonna drive to South Dakota and back to New York. This is see if Opie will take my fucking forgiveness and the code and back to New York, this is see if Opie will take my fucking forgiveness. And go have a turkey burger. Listen, Mike, okay, first of all, fuck both of you. Mike and his brother rented this house. Look, I love Thanksgiving.

I love spending it at my house. There's my skin to bring it. There's your skin. How's the gonna bring this turtle? Mike, where are you gonna be running around before the end? Bobby's in the kitchen. Bobby's littering. Bobby's facing a turkey. A turkey thing is going like that.

Bobby's titties are going like that. Cops are filming it for the next countdown, Kelly. Hey, are you guys gonna go live? Fuck both of you. I mean, this is just, you know. Percy is out of his seat right now. That's how he's standing straight up. Bobby, come on, are you guys gonna go live?

I'm saying, he's giving me like to thank the person that rented us this castle for giving us such a good deal. We like to. Oh God. First of all, what? First of all, here's the video. Right. Yes.

Here's the video. He just got to know this. He just smashed into the cactus in front of that size of that cactus We fucking just I'm a tree playing right I'm playing a mute all of us. Oh my god I just hit the fucking tree I'm not gonna get you in the fucking tree. Boss just hit the fucking tree. Boss just hit the fucking tree. Are you alright? You alright?

You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright?

You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? You alright? What's straight into the fucking goddamn he's on the phone.

I know fucking anyway, great. I ran into the cactus. Oh, he did his gut on the steering wheel. Where am I? What am I doing? No, no, no. Oh, that was a great day.

That was a fun day. But it won't be as great as a day you spending the castle. My fuck you boss. First of all, it's spending the castle. I'm not gonna be. Fuck you, boss. First of all, it's not a castle, it's a big house. He rented the house, his brother and him rented this house and they said, listen, we'd love it if you and Don and Max come down and we originally will like, all right, listen, I don't know if we can do it.

I don't know if we can, you know, and then he was like, listen, no pressure, it's gonna be, and me and Dahme like, well, you know what? We'll make it a road trip. We'll go, we'll stop at Hershey Park, we'll stop at a bunch of places on the way down, and then we'll get there by Monday, we'll have a great week.

The house has a full arcade for the kids, like real arcade, like video games, and all kinds of stuff. Who's this is it? They just run through every. It's Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. for the kids, like real arcade, like video games and all kinds of stuff. Who's this is it? They just run through every. It's pigeon forged Tennessee. It's just this community of, it's really high end part of Tennessee. And, you know, Max, Max doesn't have a brother or sister.

So, things where he can be with other kids and socialize and have that thing with other It's worth it to drive because we're gonna be home for Thanksgiving and nobody's gonna It's just gonna be alone. So it was like, you know what? Let's Who cares? I'll drive down there will be great plus him and Mac Mike's daughter and Max, like best buds, and there's gonna be other kids there. It's gonna be a great week. The Lewis Gomez isn't doing anything on Thanksgiving.

He's not having anything. Because that's right across the bridge. Listen, no, Lewis is party. And I've said this before, because I was a great great party did a great job I'm sure No, that will be a first trip is her she park on the way yes That's gonna be cool you Dr. Steve lives down there on Tennessee. We're gonna visit doctor. We're gonna visit Dr. Steve

Do well, they have it. It's it's it's a trip to. Well, they have it. It's it's a trip. Yeah, it's going to be a fun time. And gone those days do not call them during that trip. No, I know. You know what? You're a fucking tainted judge. You're not a good judge. You're very suspect. And that's it. So whatever your verdict is at the end of this, it's bullshit because you're taking Paul's side. Hey, I'm Sicilian. Don't think I didn't grease them. First of all, there's no verdict. I wasn't Jewish. Don't think it didn't take it. Oh, that's nice.

You think I even paid attention to your little fucking dumb, little grievances against each other? I don't give a shit. I don't give you two never talking again. What the fuck? What does it mean to me? give it shit. I don't give me two never talking again. What the fuck? What the fuck does it mean to me? I don't give a fuck. I'm just upset that no one in my house eats fucking meat and Thanksgiving I gotta have salmon.

Oh, salmon on Thanksgiving? Well, my wife's a vegan and I'm a vegetarian. I eat fish. So I'll have like salmon. I don't eat meat. What do you want me to do? What the fuck? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? best stuff anyhow the turkey the best is degrading and stuff. I'd now the stuffing is my don makes a stuffing for her grandmother. Yeah, she would. She would the with the she puts the breakfast sausages.

Right in the stuffing. Her stuffing is a I would eat just the fucking I would just now. Do you guys some one thing that I wanted to start and my my wife's side of the family doesn't do this, but it's macaroni. Do you guys do macaroni and cheese as a side? Aunt Thanksgiving? Side, I've had it in place. She's like, no, why not?

Why not? Why not? Yeah, why not? Yeah, Mac and... Yeah, Mac and... People do that. Mac and cheese is not Thanksgiving. What are you talking about?

You're out of line. A lot of people do that. You're out of line. Those lot of people do that. You're out of those people. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. They're. Hey, you hear what he said? No, what do you say? He said, a lot of people do have mac and cheese on Thanksgiving. Those people play pro basketball. And sometimes they blow off podcasts. Mac and cheese. Mac and cheese, dude, on Thanksgiving. It's, it's an, it's another side that's unbelievably good. And people always say, don't have Mac and cheese because it's not tradition.

And it's like, the fucking pilgrims didn't have all the shit we're having. The pilgrims didn't have sausage stuffing and fucking, you know, so why not? Make it your own. Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree with Paul, you know. I'm saying this.

Mac and cheese on Thanksgiving is fucking sacrilege. No, are you crazy? What a what a trash. Zach Rubich. Zach Rubich would be a fucking had ham instead of turkey, but Mac and Jesus. A ham on Thanksgiving is fine. So what do people know? It's not every listen, a side ham is almost customary.

Take a fucking. You have a party side ham. You have a turkey, a side ham is almost customary. Take a fucking, you have a side ham. Side ham, you have a turkey and a side ham. Who the fuck is a side ham? Ham on Thanksgiving. Everybody. Yeah, well, those fucking people. Who?

Zachary Lidges. Oh my fucking God, good. If you took a bet or a vote right now on what's more sacrilegious, ham on Thanksgiving or macaroni and cheese as a side, it's not even fucking close. Absolutely, absolutely. Macaroni and cheese is only a side dish at fucking barbecue places and fucking Boston market.

That's it. Mac and cheese. You know, Mac and cheese is barbecue, dude. Not Thanksgiving. Fact. Yeah. Well, ham is stuffing. Okay. I'm gonna name the sides for a Thanksgiving. And you tell me if I'm wrong. All right. You're fucking Lou. Everybody. Burnt out low. She's out of her mind. I'm not saying it's the name. Turkey is the main thing. She's out of her mind. I'm not saying it's the main. Turkey is the main thing.

Nobody has fucking mac and cheese. My dad's, what does it say? Read that. My dad sets up all night Wednesday to make baked mac and cheese for Thanksgiving breakfast. Yeah, well you had that. That's nuts. If it takes them all night to make macaroni and cheese.

Okay, you could taste the turkey. That's not macaroni and cheese. That's another dish. That's something else. That's not macaroni and cheese, that's another dish. That's something else, that's a casserole. Okay. macaroni and cheese is a big side dish on people's Thanksgiving. macaroni and cheese is not, here's the side dishes.

You get cranberry sauce, you get fucking mashed potatoes, fresh, you get stuffing, you get a vegetable, going on, you get a vegetable going on. You get a vegetable. Bonnie. Okay. You get a pot.

Bobby's pod cast. I feel like I'm getting cheated on with a pod cast. Uh huh. This is, no, this is a different one. I can't be of this. Why you, Bonnie? I want to, Bonnie, wait. Let me ask you a question.

Yeah, no, ask Bonnie. Hi, Bonnie. Bonnie. Bonnie. Okay. Oh, I'm not, you can't ask her the ham question. Because she, no, no, no, no, let's ask you a question. Yeah, no, ask Bonnie. Hi, Bonnie. Bonnie. Okay. Oh, I'm not. You can't ask her the ham question, because she's not.

No, no, no, no, let's ask her the ham question. No, she's a vegan. Bonnie, Bonnie, what is more sacrilegious on Thanksgiving? Eating ham or vegan or. Well, I hate religion and I hate meat. Okay. What? It's sacrilegious to have macaroni and cheese as a side on Thanksgiving. No. Exactly. Okay, it's that religious to have macaroni and cheese as a side on Thanksgiving.

No. Exactly. Okay, wait, wait a minute. Is macaroni and cheese a side, a traditional side on Thanksgiving? I'm Canadian. This is stupid. Yeah, they don't even think. They don't even say what?

They don't give thanks. These are the guys who are like, I don't think we can have rules and laws and let's keep government out. And then you're like, is it legal? I'm Mac and cheese. So I have the first day in November. All right. So long, Bo-da.

Sorry. So we pretty into extreme love where people are falling love with like, there's one. The one that's thrown us for the biggest loop is the daddy-dom situation of a, where I can only describe as an in-shape, good-looking cowboy sort of guy, and his ginger freakish boy body, limp-eyed, shaved head, Napoleon Dynamite looking girlfriend

who is an all day baby. And she is horrible looking. And he diapers her. It's so gross. That was hard. I had to stop watching that when I was eating. What's his name? Uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, there they go.

What the fuck is this, dude? What? What's going on? She looks like the sister from Petsimitary. It's so disturbing. I gotta say, I always gotta say I always like I always like a nice a nice body with a goofy face It's not a nice body body. It's not a nice body. I'm telling you she looks like a fucking It looks like if you you ever put you know what subway gives you the long bags It looks like if you eat your sandwich and stuff it back into the bag

It looks like if you eat your sandwich and stuff it back into the bag. If you eat your garbage and put your garbage back in the long subway bag. Maybe, does he have to change her or something? Yes, and I wasn't, it's the first time ever I wasn't bummed out by blurred out pussy and tits. I don't know what they, they look like they're made of bruise. Everything's wrong on her body. I don't know, right there in that angle. I mean, I've done worse. She has wooden teeth and she has 5% teeth to 95% gum. She looks like white Rudy Hux double.

Everything's wrong. And they're wooden, like George Washington. They're not wooden. And they're not, but they're the color of wooden. She has changed her teeth also. She has she has pine looking teeth. She has mahogany mouth. Mike zoom in on the one where he's changing her up in the corner with the hat. Why is there a fucking why is there a humidifier in the corner?

The other word yeah, yeah, she has allergies, baby has allergies. Oh, baby has allergies. I told you, I'm going to keep saying it's a but she that he paddles her, but they go out in public and people look at them. And then one part of it, he invites his sister over to to show her what he's into. And like, she's like, well, you know, if people enjoy themselves, like, no, man, like talk to your family about your brother. What, what, now is he changing her right now? Does she have to go poopy? She does not shit in the diaper or piss the diaper.

It's just so she can get into character, she says. But she is, he's praying on her own security. She says at one point, she goes, you know, I'm very insecure about a lot of things. So whatever. And this makes me feel like a sexy, but I assure you, it's not at all. And no one has watched this and been like,

this is awesome for you guys. That's a nice humidifier though. I saw that at bedbathion, I wanted to get that one. Yeah, I think it's got a time or two where you can set to go off for your come home. It's pretty nice, right? Scroll down, Mike, let me see the bottom.

Doesn't it bother you? I can't even get my wife to get up and get me a couple of water. But I guess she has like temper tantrums and like okay. All right. Shut up. She doesn't look that bad. You please bring up a bit of video and show Bobby the fucking ghoul with this woman is. So if you're on the road in the middle of nowhere by yourself in the middle of Pennsylvania, all of a sudden this girl knocks in your hotel room and goes, Hey, can I fucking suck a dick and be changed my diaper? You wouldn't fucking amuse the thought? No. You know what? Yeah, for the story, maybe we're comics. You have to have you have to live some life, you know what?

But you would be the greatest thing ever. I, you know what's funny? Everything I've gone through with, where I was like, I don't be a story. I'm like, I should have done that. I, I, I, I fucked a girl one time who had, she was, it was, I fucked a few of these in my life. The, like a woman who comes to a bar with a room, does that play with her body looks like it all?

I said, I said to watch jeans and fucking, you know, like some kind of top of the shows are big, huge, awful tits, but like still confident, tucking everything in. I've gotten my dicks. I think I got your beat. I think I got your beat. I was doing nights in radio on a weekend night

and some girl called me up and she said, you should come over after your shift. And I was like, yeah, all right, it's like two o'clock in the morning if you're still up and she's like I'll be up and I'll be waiting I'm like I'm so I went over there my way home so the department I woke up the stairs she answers the nice little fucking white negligee thing she was a solid four and a half but she was skinny so I'm gonna hear now and then we got the room and she totally had a class in me bag. Oh, she's like, well, I'm not gonna fuck her, but I'm here now.

And I totally let her blow me while I could. What? Going into the classroom bag. Yeah, I mean, she was, that a good body in the bag. I didn't have to touch anything. So she swam 100 gizz. Technically, you could have waited there and Sarac go into the bag. I'll say, I'll say technically that's a reverse blobkin.

She's definitely shit while blowing you. Bubbly juice machines from the mall. It was it was active. I saw I saw the bag moving. Well, she was wasn't shit with his piss, but I grossed out when a chick was blowing me with one of those fucking diabetic little things hooked to her stomach. I almost threw up. I never mind a fucking shit bag.

I was gonna say that one of the ones that I fucked had uh, her leg, like the inside of her thighs look like Freddie Krueger face. And I was like, what happened to she goes, I was in a terrible fire. And then you're like, well, I have to go through with this thing. Jake, Jake, Jake, I got you. Jake fucked the old lady from McDonald's who got burnt with coffee. Jay, Jay, Jay fuck the, Jay fuck the old lady from McDonald's who got burnt with coffee.

Look how she has cash, you know, is that another one of those, uh, those like, uh, headlines that we all remember the wrong outcome of like Duke. Duke Lacrosse is always the best example of that. Duke Lacrosse, like, I made reference to that. My comedy early on a lot about like, you know, them being like rapists to Duke Lacrosse team. And then you're like, oh, it's right. They actually got found, they didn't do it. Right. No, they didn't do it.

And the lady from McDonald's, the Dr. Metery on it. They did not win the lawsuit. They did, they won it first, but they did win. They beat me up. Something on the coffee with like 180 degrees. Yeah. I thought the whole thing was like she didn't get money for sure.

McDonald's hired a whole team of publicists to attack her, to say that she was suing, wrongfully suing McDonald's. And what happened after that is they created this thing where people just started suing companies to make money. When she really, she was, all she wanted was McDonald's to cover her bills. That's all she wanted.

And they were like, fuck you. We're gonna pay millions to these this company to go and make it so that you look like an asshole. And she got literally a third degree burns on her pussy. Matt, oh. Who was the fatso with the gumption to stand up and go? Subway, you're jipping us out of an inch and a half of sandwich. Wasn't Subway's supposed to be like,

it was like, can we have a glitch? It's just not a foot. All right, dude, come on. Come on, that video, show me that video, video Mike. All right here. We got that lady The bird lady. No, no, no, no, see a baby lady. Oh Yeah, she dropped I Saw her at Skankfest last year. Yeah, yeah, that's her Living a fetish more commonly known as DDLG, which is

What DDLG stands for is daddy Dom. Oh little girl. She's got a walkie. She's got a walkie on top of everything else. She's a fucking mess. But they'll show her body at one point like bedding over to get paddled. You know, he's you know, I'm telling you her body looks like so it looks like she's wearing two sizes, two big skin. You can always tell poor people when they have the wrong furniture in the wrong room. You're just using a bar stool as a table. Is it an end table? By the way, if your end table is a bar stool, for sure there are a medfall cigarette sitting on it. I just like one child. He's my dad, he's my protector, and I need him. Oh, you love it. These consenting adults engage in non-stop age play. This is something to be taken very seriously.

This isn't a game. This isn't something that we're just putting on a front. This is who we are. This is what makes us happy. I am baby girl every day, almost all day. From the time I wake up till a few hours before I go to bed, I'm You pause the first second, Mike. I mean, you know the TV people are coming smooth out the hair. Yeah, you know what's happening.

And maybe what cleaning a glass is you fucking fucking show up and go hey you want to do a TV show right now Okay, she's got a she's got a bunch of pimples and then one that's trying to escape down by her jawline. Oh, that's her twin sister That was never born That's a dark half. She has fucking Paul Stanley ears I mean that's like Ari. Just like a hurry a little bit. She looks like the polkaite dynamite. It's awesome.

How long is it? It's amazing. They show us your body. They show a body. Yeah. Every morning, when you spubble bass with army things with bass, please, and if they don't get a bass, I guess that. Well, we felt the queen's freckle it's on her side.

Let me tell you what the hate. We found it. The queen freckle. You fucking cock saga. Oh, don't just got overalls. I'm gonna see if she can do this. I'm gonna give her a bubble bath and remember asshole.

I was trying to talk Christine into overall. I was thinking, you look good in them and now I won't have it. It's, that's crazy. This is so crazy and I, listen, in your sex world, when you zone out, Bobby, if you fucked in a lot of friends, in front of a lot of friends,

you know, I have friends fucked in front of you a lot. I have. I've had a decent amount of that in my life too. You know, there's some friends. I follow the world of the friend that if we do this, there's going to be some sense of jokingness to it. It will never get super serious, even if we're trying to come and all that, even as soon as you come, you'd be like, you've got a giggling like, ah, you saw my come face, you idiot. I could, and I've seen some friends really go immersively, like fucking, like other people aren't there watching and judging. And that's bizarre to me. And that's what I

mean, like, so you want to do, I don't understand role plays, not my thing, but I've got plenty of weird things. But role plays, not one of them. But if you want to do the daddy thing, to bring that out in public and put people through, they have to go to a bookstore. This lady to bookstore has to first of all, I think he's being mean to a retarded person is what has to be happened first. You're going to call 911 to be like, I think this is a retardly being kidnapped. He's like, do I have to spec you hear the stories? Like, getty new. And it's just some ladies making like this face the whole time though. It's so I like role play. I like role. I've always liked role play. I like getting into it. Maybe that's where I got my acting chops. You roles, Kaiser roles. I like that role play. The wine rolls. Your wife doesn't role play.

I like that roleplay. You're a wife doesn't roleplay. Oh, darn. Oh no, I told you that. We tried to roleplay a couple of years ago and she was like, you know, we can roleplay and I was like, great. I was like, I'm so excited because she never I go, uh, you're a massage therapist. She's like, no, I'm like, what do you talk about? She goes, I work at a spa.

I go, but you're an esthetician. It's not even the same fucking ballpark. She goes, yeah, but I know a lot of massage therapists. I go, yeah, and I want you to pretend to be one of those girls. All right. Come in. I'm Dr. James Haud.

Ty Woody's not too specialist. She wouldn't do it. And then she came out. I have a joke with my actor about it. She came't do it. And then she came out. I have a joke on my acting about it. She came out, she goes, I got an outfit. She came out as a schoolgirl. I go, you think I'm a pedophile? I'm 40.

I'm in my 40s. I don't want to fucking, I was like, that's our son's backpack. I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck? I go, how is this better than jerking me off? Rub me down for five seconds and then jerking me off from underneath like a cow. It all being Christine's years together. We've, we still shit to, we shit talk, but not

role play. Like what shit talk? Like, dooring sex talk? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, dirty talk. Yeah, just dirty talk. Yeah. Like, nothing like, yeah, no, like, before we don't do a lot of, like, oh, you're going to get fucked so good tonight, like, texting door in the day. I mean, we worked together and everything. So that doesn't really happen. But I couldn't take my wife's dress.

If she, if she dirty talked me, it wouldn't even be hot. I'd be like, stop saying that. You don't ever say pussy before. It's just weird now. Oh, it even be hot. I'd be like stop saying that you don't ever say pussy before it's weird now. Oh, it could be weird Yeah, if they go too far out of Like too far out of their own character, you know also that can make you feel sometimes like are you sure you finish quick? You gotta be careful

As soon as you put your dick in she goes give me that come. Oh, give me that couple for me like It's me like I like it Larry Yeah, exactly. I mean, that was the last club I did before the, uh, the COVID. Oh, that was, I just did it a couple of weeks ago. They opened up. I don't know if they're still open, but I don't know what happened, but, um, they, um, I have five shows from them.

I can't, I can't watch them. Yeah. I just can't fucking watch it. I can listen. I, yeah, yeah, even listening though, it's like, ugh, I just hear myself. One point, hey, where you blood? What's it? Go.

You know, it's just like, fuck you, dude. How did you, you made it this far and pure, fucking just pure confidence. You fucking fat mush, I am. Go fat mush. Yeah, I'm the, I'm the similar, but I'm like, could you have a little confidence for Christ sake, you've been doing it for 35 years.

Why did you just bring me up? What is that? No, I was talking about me. No, no, that's who's having sunny next week. Oh, the guy looks just like me. Oh, Mutsi. Yeah. He looks like you, you fuck Joey Diaz and you had a kid. He looks like me if I got hit by a Mac truck. Oh, man, this is a Bobby out of stroke stroke and we had to take care of him for the rest of his life. You know, Mutsi Greg. I've heard like legends about the guy. I don't know him. I've heard stories about him. Yeah. He's right there. Hey, Mutsi. Now, listen, Greg, if I have to get up and run away at some point, I got very ill yesterday. Me and my son both got sick, not Corona.

I don't, I hope not. I don't think so. I already, I have the antibodies so it can't be but I got the shivers last night. As soon as we had done with the podcast, we did the show last night, back in the house, he, I looked over, he shivering on the couch. Uh-huh. And my wife's like, you know, I looked over, he's shivering on the couch. Uh-huh. And my wife's like, you know, I'm like, he's, uh, what's going on.

She's like, he's okay. I'm like, he's not all right. You fucking, you Nazi. He's not all right. You fucking old tough pollock from Everett Mass. I make this something, he's shitting body. What do you think he's taking it? He's seven.

There's no school. We're in a pandemic. Oh, so angry. And then I got it. I start shivering. I start getting fucked up. Then I got diarrhea. I fucking start.

I mean, it was terrible. So I had to see my kids car bed last night. He slept in the big bed with her. Why? And I literally me and my kid were in the bed today and I was sitting there and I forgot You know when you have diarrhea and you sick you forget when you start to feel a little better And then I tuted. Oh man. I filled my fucking underwear like a fucking diaper Jesus, I just ran to the shower and just took it all everything off. It was a fucking nightmare So if I have to leave I apologize that means I shit my pants or I'm gonna shit my pants I just don't do it right after don't do it right after he plays the trailer

If I would shit on the show if it if you could I would have to show it You know what I mean I'd be happy knowing you just did it. Yeah, Mutsi. Mutsi! When you make the Mutsi face, I mean just shape it. All right, let's play this trail. Let's see what this guy has chops. Gregor Mutsi.

I thought Mutsi was also. If you didn't play me before Mutsi. Gregor Mutsi. If you didn't play me before Mutsi. Okay. If I didn't do my chores, I got grounded. If a farm kid doesn't do his chores, the bank four closes on the family's clock. The stakes are high over there, man. Very easy to remember because field corn is grown in a field. Whereas sweet corn is grown in a field.

So you can see, I'm not gonna stand up here. Right, you guys about how much money I make, but let's just say I can walk into a red lobster and get whatever, okay? I walk my construction site through the day. I heard 37 swear words under a minute. I was like, that is gonna be a sturdy building. Ha! Ha! Oh! You guys great, buddy. swear words under a minute. I was like that is going to be a sturdy building.

Yes, great, buddy. You do that. Where do you shoot it? I shot it in Edwardsville, Illinois, which is, I live in St. Louis. It's about an hour from here. It's all about farming. So I wanted, I wanted a bunch of farmers to be in the crowd. So it's, it's, it's near a lot of farm adjacent, I should say. But why above farming? That's so interesting. Why did you do a special on farming? I don't know.

You're a bunch with Colin Quinn. You just, you live near the farm. Is that my farm? I had to do something with Constitution. Hey, yeah, no one's on that farm. That's like, I'm on the farm. I mean, I started doing a couple of Timothy. I started doing a couple of jokes. I know that but so it's called Mootsie Bobby. Yeah, I started doing a couple of jokes and they about farming. I was on stage like one night

and this, there's always farmers in the crowd and I asked the guy, what do you farm? And he's like green beans. He goes beans. And I said, like green beans, and they all start laughing at me like, I'm the dumbest guy. Thanks. We go green beans. And I was, oh, it was sorry beans, which, you know, by the way, that's not that ridiculous of an answer. That's a real food. Like that's, I didn't say jelly beans, okay? I said, so I told that story a couple of times,

and then it just got a little bigger. And then you guys know Jack Vaughn, it's serious. Yeah, I love Jack. Yeah, I do too. He's a good friend, and I was, he was asking me. I was like, Jack, I think I might have like a new hour coming up. And he was like, what's it about? I'm like, I don't know, it's just a bunch of stuff.

I got this one farm joke. And he was like, you got to do more of that. You got to try to make the whole thing like farming. So it's like, it's not all farming, but it's about probably about half. Yeah. That will untap the audience. No, I'm not.

I hope. Yeah. All you need is the people, dude. No, I'm not. I hope. Yeah. All you need is a people, dude. That's all I say. You need a people and a catchphrase. That's all you need. We're gonna get you a catchphrase after this show. I know, man.

Yeah. We'll get, we'll come up with one, right, Mike? Can you imagine if Will and Ellsden get hang on one more year, you could perform at Farmaid, they would love you. Oh, yeah, man. You did a joke about being just act stupid. That was a funny joke at the airport. Oh yeah. Oh you did watch that thing man. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck? What are you doing? What's he never watch? That's that's that's

that's what I should have done that for the stupid face. And the Mutsi fit. Yeah. I don't even know Mutsi, but that's that's cold right there. No, it was a funny. It was a phrase, Bobby. Just do that face every five seconds. Hey guys, guys, gold right there. I'm out of the yetto stroke. Keep bringing up. Bootsie again. I'm supposed to even do it right. troke. Keep bringing up Bootsie again. I'm supposed to even do it right. I'm as clip ready. You have you you uh you uh yeah dude that joke was there he is dude. And then there was another one I forget about uh uh fuck you didn't think about the frogs. Yeah yeah yeah that was funny. But there was another joke after that about queers the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was it really stupid? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was it?

Actin's stupid where I was like I was watching TV with my buddy was watching TV with my buddy and we're flipping channels in that show. ER came on and I like that. I did like that show and I was like, I want to watch let's watch this. He's like, this is so, it sucks, it's stupid, it's not realistic. It's like, hey man, I like this show, but I do agree with you on one thing. Like when they, when they have those paddles out and they're trying to resuscitate those people,

they should not be calling those people homophobic names. Yeah. He's like, they're saying clear. Like, and then I try to do a dumb face, but it's not near as good as the face here. Yeah, he's like they're saying clear And I try to do a dumb face, but it's not near as good as the face here I just want the photo of Mutzi. Yeah Look at that. Yeah, the whole award winning Mutzi Mutzi what if I can name my life. I don't know him. I don't know him

But my friend Joe told me he does like the churches and he passes the they pass the bucket or where they passed The hat and he kills he makes a ton of money just passing the the basket at the churches Tennis is at irs.gov. Mootsie is cheating you. Oh come on. Oh, so come on. What's wrong with you? I do my uncles and I are sky and he's a patreon subscriber as long as he's paying Hey, what happened to the girl she died We've internet is not working apparently okay. Look at her internet sucks She's out of her father's mansion and on the Jersey Shore one of two and She's on fucking garbage Wi-Fi.

Well, I liked her. Uh, you were gonna give her a couple more minutes. Look at Munty. Um, no, she's great. Gabby's great. She's the best. Um, but she bailed. I don't know why she bailed, but she fucking bailed.

Um, it was a fucking trailer wasn't it? Yeah, well, she doesn't like middle-aged guys. Now let me add, I'm old. I'm not even middle-aged in here. I'm 52. So, so you like, but you're, so you don't, you have all your friends must have families and shit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or do you have like a gang of single 50 year olds? Well, I know you know, you get barbecue and jerk each other off.

Yeah, yeah, not the barbecue part. But, yeah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Did you know Bobby was closing right from the beginning? You knew he was going, I mean, you closed. I knew I knew Bobby was closing, yes. But Keith could easily close too. You said you were going to try. But part of what I was trying to do on the show is explain to people the inside workers of comedy. That's right. I tried it. Yeah, I tried to get everybody to just give me a signal from the stage when they throw the joke and go, that well, nobody to people the inside workers of comedy. That's right. I tried it. Yeah, I tried it. Everybody just give me a signal from the stage when they throw the joke and go, that, well, nobody did it. That's the only thing about the show that I regret. We can't tell you why. You never told me that. I never

heard that. I got to read it. At a radio phase. No, no, I have no bill, boss. I've been jealous not going well. Oh, beautiful night. Well, I probably didn't realize this. First of all, I know they all went well because no cars drove out and drove away when I was on. So, boss, you owe, it was a little tight up in the first. It was a little tight. It was a little tight, but still it was light out. And I did get a little, you know, we're gonna see this on TV, right?

Now, did you see a minute of my standup, you fucking idiot? Get with the program. Then we in Conlon got to tell you what this whole fucking thing's about. It's not, it's not evening at the improv you jackass. It's fucking headliners backstage doing what we do. Holy fuck. That's why you had to go last because you're stupid it took you a while to catch on haha

Jesus Christ what do I do this stuff I like it I like it he just he talked what I said earlier just roll haha I like it he has a I like it he has a college compliment AA meeting or something Talk about when you go last which Bobby does less a lot. It's interesting to the audience in my opinion To see what the challenges of going last So he always goes last, so he knows better than anybody.

But the other thing, it's not a challenge because he doesn't know he's last. But why didn't you? I thought you were going to be getting interviews as we went on and off stage. Yeah. Logistic, let's I'm saying. Logistically, I wish I could have done another show and had other people doing that stuff. You know what I mean? There's too much going on at once. And then one of you back with you guys because apparently the flow was, and the camera kept moving.

You know what I mean? There's a lot of shit going on. I wasn't working. I wanted to be backstage. I wanted to be in the other place, but it was, you know, it was, it was, it was so different. I was trying to, some difference. A lot of it didn't fly but it was, you know, it was meant it was was it so different I'm different. It's a lot of it didn't I thought you did was perfect I thought we do it's perfect. I've worked on a lot of movie sets, and I know look you're not gonna hire

You know a guy that's working on a lot of movie sets. Are you crazy? No? Movie sense. Are you crazy? No, you know, Al Pacino has worked on a lot of movie sense. I've worked on that bitch has worked on a lot of movie sense. You fucking haven't even walked by a lot of movies. Listen, let me tell you something white LeVelcroff for college idiotio. Let him talk. Go. talk go oh you go what are you gonna say oh what I was gonna say so Bobby has closed a lot of shows and a lot of rooms he's gonna hear me call him the white level Crawford go ahead he's gonna hear me call him to white live hell Crawford. Go ahead. He's laughing at that. I can have you, a bitch.

So call me a bitch, a bitch. So the point is, it's, I think it's very interesting to be honest, but they didn't even think in terms of like going last from for a long time. They don't think in those terms. They just watch the show. There's a million times when people come up to you go Every guy before he was good. You guys were both good. It's like yeah, he did 20. I did an hour and 10 You know like they don't know

It is true on the road Nothing I averaged me more when someone will come up to some dude who did 20 minutes of his best shit, he's been doing for 10 to 15 years. And they go, oh, I liked you the best. Did you? I was up there for an hour and 10. It's my fifth hour. I was talking about my life. This is not talking about turtles.

Nothing in the aggravation. We always want that person to sell some more CDs than me. The fact is what really makes you mad is that in the middle nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, middle act guy, boss, when I was a middle act, I was like, listen, well, why go back right before the pandemic? Let's talk about what's going on now. When I was a middle act, I was the same way. I was an asshole with don't like, I blew that headliner up the state. Like, yeah, I would think that too. Hey, let me ask you a question. Yeah, think you got what you needed to make a great show? Yes, yes.

I mean, yes, I think how is everybody feeling about it? Well, I don't know. I'm just waiting for the rough cut, but all the transcripts up. You know, everybody always says everything positive about everything when they first, oh my god, it's gonna be great mean and then you know when it's going bad It's really a listen. We want it. We love it. We just want to save it you get more you know There's another bit we can get out of the and then suddenly you know when people start to get panicking But I don't trust it so I want to see the whole thing. You know, have you seen you seen some of the footage?

Oh, you see the image and if they can it's great and the audio Just more worried about the audio catching it than anything else. How does the transition look from you know from earlier to later in the show? From you know from earlier to later in the show Beautiful all the stage stuff looks beautiful. Yeah, I would be a sit Was it nice heard visually during the day or was it nice or visually during the night? Yeah during during the dusk it was a little bit like more you could see more But I mean the whole thing was great. I mean that stuff. I'm not even worried about, but, you know, I mean, like I said, it's really that backstage interaction that made it, you know, just the showing up.

And everybody came in, here's what happened. Bobby came in with Keith and they started lighting it up and it was great. And that was worried, his voice wasn't there yet. And I'm saying, our voice is gonna come in and he might lightning up and it was great. And that was worried his voice wasn't there yet. And I'm saying, our voices are gonna come in and he might be out of sync because he hasn't been, you know, they've been here for an hour. Everybody's rolling, it was great.

Then voice and Bonnie came in and they were on fire. And then the whole thing was just great. Can we somehow edit everybody out and just keep me, Bonnie, Keith, and Bobby. And you know what I mean? And the other people are funny too. And yeah, but I know, you know what they'll have your day. What I'm trying to say is, you know, we can use them as kind of like cameos extra. What, what did you get Chris to staff and I doing plugging high in is?

You know Chris, right? Yeah. Yeah. Chris played it perfectly just the way he plays life. Like, you guys can break my balls. I'm Chrissy D. It's fine. You know what I mean? Just that I'm in the game, but you know, I'm a little bit young and cocky, good looking.

So, you know, who's perfect he played He can dip his toe in and so get away with it. It's inferior Yep, it is a fearing how you're absolutely right about Chrissy D successful young good-looking guy with wide hips We're walking in with four thirty punches like this and he just jabs on the world because he knows Bobby if white hips gives you a career come on. I don't have white hips. I'm fat Don't have white hips. You have nice hips. No decris D has wide hips. Your hips are sure for hip apodamus. I'm on fire. I wish you were. Wish the house one. Okay, I'm sure you've been trashing me plenty. We didn't mean Gabby have said nothing bad about you

but the man up cares. Nobody has called you a, he called you a whore. He said that you're a lesbian. lesbian. He said that you're a nanny. His name Molly and you're doing Molly. I thought it was a drug. Apparently you're not doing drugs. You're doing Molly the nanny and your husband, I believe he said fuck your husband. I could be lying but I believe he said pizza.

You know, I think he actually said fuck ladder 14. So let me just call up the boys The T a guest for his role just let the guys know Nothing would make me happier. It's a red truck pull up in front of the cellar and just beat the tar out of It's the cellar and just beat the tar out of fuckers. Rob is you would start from the top based out they would give up yeah, you know, I'm from going I just call those boys over. I always are out dead.

Oh, yeah, they're in prison. Your boys are dead or in prison. Yeah, you're going to. All your boys have lived. That was completely racist. The dead are in prison. What the hell? That was specific to you and your friends. You're a lifelong liar.

Take race out of it. No, it's thinking about right. There's a criminal or an innocent man. You are a criminal. You are criminal. And as every brecht you take is a lie. You know how you're lying? Your lips are moving. Yeah, that's

true. You left the hat. Shit. Did you just said? You're gonna watch that. You'll be racist again. They're gonna. Don't hurt and you're gonna and you're gonna look for your boys.

Oh, where's my boy? I thought my boy, they're not gonna be there. It's gonna be ladder 158. And you're gonna go, oh, they're gonna bring a service. And they're gonna clap with right in your dumb face. Yeah. Yeah.

And it will be Christmas morning for you. Really, really. You're gonna get a nice action, back of an action, you got it. I'm gonna go on this all, every podcast, whatever I gotta do this this I'll be right back oh boy what do you wanna get a how you gonna get a look at his messy bed in the bathroom I am he says I'm not a good mom I have mom

things around I'm a fun loving mom look at this dick and his dumb messy quill first of all look at his uneven frames every fun if we saw him emptying a bag of piss into something. What's that? Is that a gun? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? I should know I have a gun.

You don't have muscle control to have a gun. It took you too long to get it though. You don't know how to use the gun key. You don't put your finger. Don't put your finger on the trigger. Key! Somebody checks, somebody checks his home attendant right now. I know she's out there.

It's the mirror, the mirror, the problem. Oh, my daddy. This one. Rachel, please let it go off. I'm helping you with this one. I hope it hits his computer and he has to buy a new one. Please, please let it go off. Please get a flop. Go ahead. Please. Get your finger off the trigger. You

old. Listen, don't put any fucking face. Put it down. You can't shoot your earth when the fire posters fire posters more I love you Gabby why'd you give him shit you gave your Republican Republican about having a gun give key shit I didn't give you shit about having a gun you gave the your Republican boyfriend that you banged about having a gun

that's because he had a loose gun on his nightstand. What do you think this cock sucker? He think he got out of a safe? He has no safe. I just heard of the gun. I can't see. I got it for free. I'm like, fuck, right on the wall.

What if I was talking about Keith the whole time? Oh, if you're a professional. No, but you should not have a gun. And you know, we can very, very old. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, it's an, listen, it's an exit plan. Let him have it. an exit plan let him have it all right let him have it all right just gonna end whatever he wants to do okay do you really want to give him rides everywhere in the next couple of years I do what I want to do

right yeah you do it you do it. Let me ride. Go ahead. We should take a word. Niggas. Only if I couldn't, they got not a good. No, I need a gun. Please someone. Love of God. Now I need to slip my throws. Rachel doesn't want to go. She wants to cut her throat. She wants to do it hard way. Can you make it postpartum depression six months after you have baby? Because I think I'm just kidding. Just hit hard. It hit hard. I got work. She'll be fine.

It isn't the thing with you, Rachel. Oh, please. Please. Pete has watched the baby all the whole time. You've done nothing but the comedy solid drinking. The whole damn time. It's another love that you are exposed for who you are. Listen, I got a, I got a back teeth up.

Dawn didn't see the light of day for around two and a half years. I've seen Rachel and more Instagram photos in the last fucking week. Videos, whoo, bye then. I've never, I've never. First of all, I know both of you guys miss a different kind of good old days, all right? You would like it when the men were in charge, Bobby. I know you dream about it tonight when you put out your last cigar when we had it all covered. And you both go straight to fucking hell.

You want to hide us, you want to hide us in a fucking attic for two years. But you go out and get shit-based play poker and fuck hookers. And you can all go and suck it, all right? I'll take care of the baby for like 12 hours. And by the way, if Pete even stops by or gently touches his head, oh my god, support Pete. Poor Pete, he's overnight at the fire house. I'm on my own all night, up all night. And if I go out for half an hour, if I go out for a half an hour, I'm a godless whore for

summary. Grisha, you are godless whore, first of all. You let the seller from seven to two in the morning. Two in the morning. All right, so let me to say my case. So this is when I'm being charged with. I'm being charged. With being at the seller from seven to two in the morning. Okay, so let me to say my case. So this is what I'm being charged with. I'm being charged with being at the seller from 7 2 in the morning Okay, so my husband gets home or the firehouse like around 6 a.m. All right I'm on bonnet with the baby every couple hours. I do my work

I hang out I stay at home and then I go to the seller at night and hang out with some friends So I don't know let's let the listeners decide and if they're actually this part of the best idea That's not a good idea. Oh, sorry. They're actually they're actually on your side. They're on your side today. They're loving Rachel They're actually loving Rachel right now Well, I mean, it's kind of slutty. You should stay home. Look, well, wait a minute, mom. Here's a text. But the funniest thing is, by the way, keep this a minute. I'm not going to do that.

He has it. Mom is war. Let me talk. Oh, my God. Can I just ask you one question before you attack and degrade me? Did you or did you not tell me proudly that you are present for your son's birth and that you've never changed your diaper because that's not what we do. What? I'm a man. I'm a man. I want to say this. I've been I've been getting the diapers. I learned how to swaddle. I did a lot of stuff with my baby. A lot of stuff that maybe this guy over to that way hasn't done, okay?

Now Bobby is a good man. I'm not sure that gives you your right to say I should be home for two years after I birthed a child. I will have to that. We'll send him back to that. You happen to be a good dad so you want to lock me out for a couple of years, fair. Keith is proudly says, was a present, was definitely at the OTP when his baby was being born so go on

It's like this. I'm a traditional man. I'm a man's man So woman's blood is taking care of baby and two is like seven eight then I take seven or eight No Keith, what if it's a girl though That is a girl they go higher that is seven to twelve Seven to twelve Let me get the straight, Keith. Let me get the straight.

So the woman takes care of the baby to eight, and then you take over if it's a boy. That is you. Okay, and if it's a girl, it's 12, but right now it's just responsibility. It's all her for the next eight years. Rachel does, that Rachel for real. I'm so look at that look at it Look I can see everything there's Rachel's

Bra right up there right make Rachel big make Rachel big It's all big. Listen, Keith, is everything you don't have? Keith is family photos, friends, there's a little cute things, there's comfortable stuff, there's a life behind Rachel. And behind you, what do we got behind? Mosh make Keith big. Let's see what we have. We have nothing.

You're like in a hotel room. Okay. There's nothing. You have a clock that you don't pay attention to ever I get to keep things I should burn my bra that's cheese that cheese feminist Rachel I don't think he's home. I think he's in home goods right now in home goods right now. That is nothing of Keith's family or friends, but nothing. I mean, I got a full bedroom apartment, four bedrooms.

Keith, and a Howard Johnson's in trend right now. Keith, you have four bedrooms and three of them are empty with nothing. No, no, my service room is next door. Oh, shut up. Right? Stop getting reused. I got a hole on my side bitches room. My who? Yeah, I said it. I know who. Look at Oliver. I got a side bitch room. What is that for?

A side bitch. Look at that. So the girl, the girl that you're sleeping with, she can't be in the room with you. She has to go to once a run room. She has her own room. That's the biggest hole in this story. Do you have a girlfriend.

Wait, wait, you don't know what a side bitch is. Yes, we know what a side bitch is, but why can't she be in her room? Let's get it. Of course, she's a side bitch. She has a homeworld. My man of it sleeps next to me. My son. They're both in the house at the same time. Slips next to me

They're both in house at the same time can you tell the guy leaf blow on your apartment building outside the shop? I thought you lived in a penthouse Jetpack how does the leaf guy have a jet pack you fucking project homo. He's that old man that thinks his nurses are his wives. Every time they change his bed, man, he's like, well, I love you. You know, he's put it by a side bitch. It's all about balcony right now. You don't have a balcony.

You don't have a balcony. You don't have a balcony. Has a balcony. I can't take those. You know, they're paintings like like they would click. They would be in a McDonald's bathroom. You.

They really do. I guarantee he just brought an iPad to the IKEA little fake rooms that they have. He's in a bedroom and IKEA and Jews. That's like a living room and a porn or something. It's not real. That's like a stage in at a porn Real this is a staging living room when they put very little energy into like a porn But you know Rachel he's selling real estate. He's named his apartment to sell

Every time he does every time he does the podcast. He's in a different room Well, that's just show show you what it is. When you walk through like me, you have different rooms. As Rachel, how many rooms she has? She don't have any rooms. She has no rooms, you're saying. Rachel, how many rooms do you have in your apartment? I don't think I've ever counted them, such an anger.

I've never seen that before. Let's see. Let's see how many rooms do I have. I guess I would have, are we putting the bathrooms in your room. Let's see. Let's see how many rooms do I have? I guess I would have. Are we putting the bathrooms in your scaled wealth from your fucking home-callot trend? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many are on that?

How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many are on that? How many are on that? How many are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that?

How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are on that? How many rooms are in the whole Joes you're staying at in fucking Trent? Rachel is coming in hot hot Who shut up listen His hair is let me tell you something but his hair it's it's just magical. It's just magical his hair If I can find a here it is right here. Yeah, I mean. Did we hear it when you were in Thundercat? So that it was very hot here. Thundercat is my favorite.

This is my favorite, right? Yeah. Thundercat. Oh, hello. So many different things are happening. Oh, there's a lot. Look at that one right there. Look at it.

You got all the story of when you got extensions. Well, no, well, that's, when I had Dr. Hare in a slippery wet that gigantic one, I weaver in Vancouver and I saw this chick walking down the block. She was on the other side of the street and I'm like, and she looked like an alien Martian and I was like, I need to do that. And I got all these extensions,

but like, you know, that was a slippery wet tour it. I got all these extensions, but like, you know, that was a slippery and wet tour. So I had all these extensions. I went in there and I sort of had, you know, like, sure hair. I came out of there and it was like down to my ankles. I looked like grow magna man. I was like, I go, don't cut it yet. Let me just scare the crap out of my bed. And I walked into rehearsal. They looked at me like I was like, you know, plan of the apes or something, you know, what to do? A John's hair and slippery one wet. I mean, you can't, I mean, it's fucking gorgeous.

I mean, gorgeous. That's why I, my hair wasn't like that. So I had to get the shit to put it in there just so I can get that. I've always felt that way too. When I was younger, punk rock, remember the, the, the, the straight in the back and spike the spike hair was in and you popped the collar the eyes on you eye ended up and you pinned the legs on your jeans so you made them and I tried to do the hair but my head cowlicks so it would always like my bangs were always crooked and I could never

get the spike right and I was I used to walk And I used to go out at night and be for like a half hour, I'd be good. And then I was sending like half the spikes would come down, the cowlick would kick in, I'd just look at an asshole. Because you see, that's where you needed what we had, the secret of that was Aquinet. You spray that shit, that's, we were, probably the 80s responsible for the hole in the ozone. You could spray posters to the wall with that shit. It was like, you spray that shit, that's, we were probably the 80s responsible for the hole in the ozone.

You could spray posters to the wall with that shit. It was like, you spray that on, it's not a hair, it becomes a helmet. It was an eight pound purple cam of hair. Oh, yeah. It was, yeah, it was a friend. Say it again. What's the name of that? Aquinette.

You said, for some of you said, you sound like an old Jewish woman. You said, a Aquinette. That's what happens to old rock stars when they get older. You know, old Jewish women. What? What? My name's Bon Jovi. How I don't remember the 80s.

How would I remember that? How old was Gabby when she realized that you were cool? I'm waiting. Yeah, I'm thinking it just gonna happen at 30. My son is 13 and he doesn't quite like, I think this year and now that we have bucks season tickets and that kind of shit, he's like, all right, it doesn't ask back to him, that's cool. But I mean, you guys are, I mean, you're on TV, you're on the world,

the news, I mean, every magazine cover when you go on the store, that's gotta be amazing when you're a kid I'll tell you what it was I could say like about Gabby's twin brother Colton So he was like same thing, you know when they're at a certain day I mean he was probably like not even 13 like 12 maybe and he's like you guys you're old You're sad you're bald you're an old man ban. I'm like I'm not old I'm not sad and I'm not bald. I go okay come on. So we're playing giant stadium

I put his seat right behind mine. There's 70,000 people Right and he's sitting right behind me on stage looking at it and I got the ear things in so I can't really hear him I turn around and I go who's fucking cool now One more time he's like not you I turn around and I go, who's fucking cool now? And I turn around one more time. He's like, not you. Oh, I'm so happy you brought that up because I think that's

a perfect reason to write him out of the will. I'll be coming out. That's a guy. I did the same thing to my son at a funny bone. And it was half full. And he said the same thing. He's like, yeah, you're not cool. I brought my kid out honest with God though, I brought my kid out at just for laughs. Max came out. He's he was five

or six, whatever, just turned six and he came out in front of 1500 people and lost his mind. He literally jumped off the stage and walked through the crowd. High five and jumped off the stage and walked through the crowd high five and everybody. But like, did Gabby, did Gabby do any of that shit? Did she do any crazy shit? Or did she, would she steer away from the stage? And we always have like on the side of the stage. You never brought them out though, right? Because that would find the image. We danced on the stage a couple of times.

Oh, yeah. Like once or just something like that. I just, I didn't want anybody to like, ransom them or do anything like that, because I don't want to get money for that. Yeah, you're right. There's a big difference between me and you. Yeah.

Yeah. Never got it. I could literally show my son. I could, he could be on stage with me. Nobody's gonna, nobody's gonna, some, some chubby guy from Ohio. You want your son back? Yeah.

That a red robin with me right now. Oh, no. Can I ask you some questions that are not appropriate to ask in front of your daughter? Yes. That's where you don't understand. Where are way far gone from that? I thought that.

I saw it to be polite. Yeah, ask. So I interviewed John one time and John said, I said, I got to imagine that in all the countries you've been to and all the crazy shit, tell me there's gotta be a mother daughter team in there somewhere and John had the best answer ever he goes. Won't you twice?

What country had the best banjo we check fans? I think planet Earth. No. No. But like what about like Japan or you guys Bon Jovi Chick fans I think planet earth But like what about like Japan or you guys love Tokyo and that you know doing the album in Canada I mean what was the best what was the bad like we're placed to get excited about going to and Then I've in the 80s everybody was tied for first place, you know, I mean it was pretty damn good So we kid from Edison, New Jersey, you know in in high school who couldn't even get laid. So I was like, it was good. So it's um, it was, it was a good job. How come no, how come, you see how he's asked for your best friend is? Maybe it's this man's old guy. I don't know, but how come nobody

stopped you the first time you were wanting to get married and said don't fucking do that. You're in Punjabi. I waited till I was uh, you know 32 30 then I'm a kitchen as 32 I figured by that you know back then 32 was it was like 52, you know now 32 is like 10 You had how many years of how many years of clanging and banging did you have what's clanging? You know clanging. How do you business clanging and banging? You know, I mean I would say I reached you have what's clanging you know, we're clanging a business clang and embanguing you know I mean, I would say I reached the end of the internet, you know What you as you stop when did you start touring? When did you you run away you joined the band right?

No, it started in so John and I started when we were 17 I joined his cover band. Yeah. And then we got signed in 83 and then put the band together. So in 83 we recorded it right away and then put it out in 84. So I was 21 when we recorded it and 22 when I left my house and I came back, that was 84, I came back six years later. I was like, it was really, really, it was a lot of fun. I came back, I weighed like a pound

and I slept for 10 seconds. You weigh a pound, the laws were empty for eight months. Oh, ear muffs, Gabby. I'm so excited. That much. That's cool. They really, on slippery on wet? I always wonder, because they do, you know, they do

these, you know, interviews and they say that he grabbed a trash bag, sprayed it with water and wrote, slippery when wet on it, and that was the cover. Is that a true story? It actually is, you know why it's a true story is because we had, there was another version, the Japanese version, the chick with big tits, right? It said slippery and wet, but then that was the mad mothers against mad people, junk driving, everything, whatever that was, the tipper gourd. And so the record company was like,

we can't put that at, you know, Walmart or whatever it was, the thing then. And so in the 11 hour, John just, they did that that took a glad back spray on he wrote Slipper and Wet took a picture of it and that was the outcome. Which and then caused me to pay 69 dollars to get the Japanese import to have the old cover. So yeah, you have. I definitely paid for half that house. Thank you. It's going a little gray but it's still beautiful. Thank you Bobby. Thank you very much. Yeah, no, I'm good, man. I didn't need any attention on me whatsoever. Greg did that on purpose, so I would feel uncomfortable.

I was all geared, ready to hear about these bodacious belts. And then this assholes, like, you gotta ask Anthony about his day or you know how he gets. Yeah, how about. So check this out. Around, I think it was 2004. I used to play the Houston Laptop. Houston Laptop was before you guys were in the fucking real business and it was one of

the hottest clubs in the country. Bill Hitch used to go to it. That whole thing churned over to this new guy. You know, Dane was there. I was there calling, Norton. We all used to go to this fucking, you know, one of the legendary spots of comedy in the country. And we worked for this guy, Pete, who on a big redneck guy, fucking juiced out, you know, it's snapping that if you push them too far, so you busted his balls just a little until you

start as I twitch and then you pull back. It's a real big puppy, You know, it's nice place. Thanks so much. Well, I work real hard on it. But nice guy, I'm doing a show one night. There's a fucking Mexican guy. He's got to be seven feet tall. He is, he, he looked, I call them a Mexican superhero because that's what he looked like. This big motherfucker, he's got a big, that fuckhole.

He's with a blonde guy that looks like fucking GI Joe Another big guy but smaller than him after the show. I wind up talking to him He's like that the blonde guys him green beret. He's a pussy I'm I'm in special forces. I can't tell you what I'm in but I'll just let you know. I've been blown up twice And literally the fucking girl. He's an arm talking to Bobby. I've been blown up twice. And literally the fucking girl, he just an arm talking to Bobby. I've been blown up twice. He just a bunch of fingers with it with a smiley face on there. Hey, I've been blown up twice.

Toughest toughest hand I've ever met. So you've blown up twice. I've been blown twice. He's just a guy. He's just a guy. Only wearing two blow jobs. It's like me very similar to my life. I've only had two very long.

But it takes a long time to get me off of the blow job. I'm not talking to women here. I'm just talking to the men because I get two in my head. I just get two in my ego. She shouldn't be doing this. Why would I do that? I'm sorry. Were you in the middle of a story? Have a little bit of that.

Yeah, me. A booby. Is that your chest reflecting off your glasses? Yeah, I'm talking to you. So, big guy. And whatever he's in, he called the green beret a pussy. Paul Paul there. And literally goes, no, green, you're a bunch of pussy. He's like, I wentet a pussy, Paul Paul there, and literally goes, no, green, you're a bunch of pussy, he's like, ah, I went out pussy, but I mean, yeah, and he was like, yeah, but he's definitely like literally powered to this

fucking guy. So he, he fucking has this belt buckle on, and he go, he takes it off, and he goes, I want you to have this. I'm like, I'm like, fucking no way. This is my mate Balbuckle. Oh. It's huge and it says bodacious on it. I'm like, buddy, I can't. I can't. I can't.

It's like a wedding ring. It's like a guy be like, I want you to have my shirt. It just says, huge Johnson on it. Yeah, yeah. It's a fucking fuck. Yeah. I mean This is in your face. Okay, so here's the deal Okay, so that but he gives me he was you're taking this I needed to laugh like this and in this, I needed to laugh like this. And this was of this, I needed this night, because I've been do so much. It was the million 2004 dude, the shit was, it was, you know, he was in the fucking hit. Yes, I argue that this four was worse than 2001. I always say,

yeah, for me it was. I always say, yeah, Nicole Brogou, he was in the fire. Is that what they say? Right. Yeah. He was in the thick of the lava, dude. Yeah. He was in the fire. Is that what they say? Yeah, he was in the thick of the lava, dude. Yeah, he was in the pizza oven. Yeah, yeah He was in the middle of tornado Wirling in the toilet Hang in with the Japanese He would slap in the skin hanging with the Japanese. He would slap into the skin. So I just went to him.

He gives it to me. And he nothing in that fucking whole run by the way. I mean, he's just Christ. I was just watching a tennis match. So, wow, what a thing to witness. Sam Pritz and Mac androgo and back and forth You know I went I was in a bowl with the Japanese

There I was in a in a pot with the Germans. That was actually Greg twice. That's what he said I like to play tennis with myself. I just with myself. I just hit me. I just ripped myself over. He was playing racquetball. So, this guy, he goes, you take this bell book, I want you to have it. I take it. I'm in fucking awe because I love the military guys. I love, I love, I'm a, I am patriotic. I don't give a shit. It's just, I love it, right? He gives us Bell Bucco. I have it since then 2004. I Mean Houston this weekend now since then the club owner, you know, his wife left him his dog died the club got taken away from him The club is gone. I haven't been back to Houston since

Improv calls you want to go of course great go down Pete calls me up I'm with Pete the guy used to own the club I thought he'd be fat and I was hoping because I got fat because when he knew me I was shredded head hair now he shows up he's in shape and he looks at me he's like well you put on some weight it's like okay well I feel good. The worst feeling in the world when you haven't seen somebody in years and they're in good shape, like they got it together physically. Nothing makes me feel better when they just fell apart.

I look up on Facebook every day to see if you had a heart attack yet. Every day, Steve, you know, we have nothing in gonna give the last name, but every I'd go this fat fuck is gotta be dead by now And I would rather I would rather Anthony's what he was gonna say I was gonna say Steve Gregg was gonna say Mayor Dinkins I look up Mayor Dinkins every Friday See how he's doing not yet, huh? Lincoln's every Friday. See how he's doing. Not yet, huh?

Dinkin' you. So. So. Happy Anthony. Mayor Dinkins, what? The fuck? So. So I'm in Houston this weekend.

This guy comes to my show. He brings, I guess he's a rodeo guy now. And I guess rodeo, it's all volunteers. Why people just volunteer? Really? Yeah, all the shit that people do there is just volunteer work. What?

For a month. The rodeo comes to town for a month. And then it goes to another town, like a circus. And it gets all the people that love rodeo volunteer to be rodeo people or whatever the fuck you do, you know? You know? In the clowns? Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Yeah.

No, I'm talking like, you know, parking people, taking care of this, or getting the thing, whatever. I don't fucking know. Oh, you know, getting the thing? You're a friend of your offended. I'm not seeing it. I might fucking store. What do you see?

See, I said, the guy who almost gets stabbed by the bulls, that's crazy to volunteer that. There has to be some sort of code. You can't just fly into that. But wait, why? Because other events parking attendants get paid normal because they work for the event. Why just for rodeo? Okay. Maybe I just threw that in. I don't. The volunteer part are all of it. That's fair. Yeah, the people get paid. There are volunteers for certain associations, but people are getting paid for being there. Can I just fucking get a story? What the fuck?

Tell us the story about Pete who didn't get fat. That's all I got out of this story so far. There's a great name Pete who didn't get fat and some kind of rodeo. Yeah, listen. All right. All right. Hi. The guys, the guy Pete brought three people with them who worked the rodeo. You know what I mean?

They're all, they do this stuff. And apparently the rodeo comes in. They all work together. And then the rodeo moves on. And then other people work on it. Okay. And then tell them, I'm like, hey, remember that time the game, the game, the game me, they're talking about bull riding and all the shit. I go, why did that guy give me that belt buckle once?

And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that bodacious. And the lady goes, what? I go, yeah, it says bodacious on it. She goes, the bodacious? No. I go, I don't know if it's the bodacious, goes the bodacious. No, I go I know I don't know if it's the bodacious It says but it she goes you have a bodacious belt buckle. I'm like yeah She goes do you know that that bull is like the most famous bull of all time that that bull only six people rolled that bull

That bull passed away and that belt buckle you have is probably worth around thirty thousand dollars. No. What? Yo, let me hold it. No. That and you called your wife about the black pay at their figure. Yeah, that's about thirty30 $30 fake here. You're very easy to get 30 grand Do eBay so I'm gonna call you out. I'm gonna do I'm gonna talk to my people cuz I got Collectors air talk to your belt guy Greg. Yeah, hang on now Do you know bad the belts? Dude

much $155 MSR Okay, so this one's only $150. You have a wonderful thing. $1,000. That's it, man. $150. Now, but 150 feels like a lot. You know, like a real like 8000. Sure. Shit. Shit. Shit. Who's it just crumbles and tin foil? The right way just dissolves in his hand. It's just filled with the conoclet. Yeah.

Cheer up, Charlie. Apparently this guy didn't ride Vogue Daces. I love it. Mike just comes in and just steps on all our stories. Yeah, that's that's 30 bucks that guy ain't real and I think he's a homosexual. Those are three facts. I didn't like that footage. Yeah, Lewis would it to him.

Um, yeah, Lewis would have to go, but Lewis would survive. Yeah, yeah. He would survive. He would be murdered. I would love to have Lewis. I would have to be the motherfucker. Right.

Cause Lewis doesn't have the, he doesn't have gears. He's the muscle. I would love to have Lewis be my second in command. Your henchman. Oh, I just be like Lewis, kill Fini. Why? I saidman. Oh, I just be like, Lewis, kill Fini. Why? I said kill, okay. And just,

Oh, he's like Jeremy Renner from the town. Cause I, who's Kyle? Let's kill through the comics who survive. We have, okay, I have a community. We all go up to the campsite we went to last year. Right? And who survives and who doesn't? I would.

You survive, why are you surviving? Because I would go to Walmart and and or my s in my uh... father-in-law's uh... arsonal and i would get as many guns as humanly possible and i would not be afraid to use any of them you could you already said you'd pull the fuck right vagus on anybody and especially in a back against the wall humanity is threatening to take my way what are we gonna have he's gonna be pons pranks they did he's that he's was that the first people he is threatening to take my point. He's gonna be pulling pranks. He's dead.

He's dead. He's one of the first people that I think that because not so some media goes. Yeah. Easy routes. Also I'm jealous of his viral video so I blow his head off.

Yeah, but it'd be jealous too because I say this, we don't kill Fini. We fuck Fini. I mean, we fuck him kill him then fuck. I say I'm not consenting to any of this. I say we start fucking him. I would then fuck. I just wanna say, I'm not consenting to any of this.

I say we start fucking him. And as soon as he gets crow's feet around those eyes, he's done. Yeah, we gotta make him grow his hair out a little bit. I'll tell you this, I've never, I've never, I'm a certain type of survivor. I'm not gonna be the kind that's gonna be like walking dead where we're gonna go from camp to camp to camp.

I'm gonna find one location, stay there, and then guard that and go down with that ship and stay with him. I'm not gonna be the person that's like, we gotta move the ship. The red dead of him. That ship is gonna be down. I'll sit.

In the first 48 hours, I'll be the guy sitting on the other end of the door against the wall, shotgun, just waiting for the hordes of people to come in and then just take out as many as I can. Here's how it be. We'd invite him with us. And I, one that I go, Lou, uh, Fini's got to go. And he'd be like, I, he'd go, uh, and he would just go and snap his neck.

Oh, why are you, Louis would for sure have sex with him without you asking, though. Oh, he'd fuck you like, he's dead. Why not keep me around? For what? You offered nothing. What do you mean? He can kill people and hunt and he's ready to go. I'll bring him. I'll bring him.

I'll bring him. I'll bring him. I'll bring him. You need somebody to negotiate with the other clans. And you guys, frankly, don't have that. He's too aggressive. Lewis will just ape hit him. But I'm the smooth talking.

What a lie guy. You're the looks. I'm the smooth talking. Wow, that was a pandering answer. No, he's got the touted lips. Look at those lips. Oh, that's actually true. We might actually blind kiss each other on the lips

just to like remember what it was like to highlight. Well, we have our girls, man. Oh, I don't know why you're fucking me. Murdered his wife first before anything. We have our girls. Before you shoot up. Hey, you have your kid, boy, right? He's a boy.

But now, I think I'd be the negotiator. I'd be the spokesman have our girls. Before you showed up. Yeah. Hey, you have your kid. Boy, right? He's a boy. But now, I think I'd be the negotiator. I'd be the spokesman for our tribe. You give me the message. I pass along. Hey, you know, big Bob says this that in the third. All right, so what do we do, Yannis and Christy?

Chris has to stay around for sure because Chris is going to be trying to fuck everybody. Chris has got to go. But also, no. No, Chris is going to. That's how we fight. We spread his diseases. No. No, Chris. And then it takes them out and then we extend our

We gotta kill stress right now. He's gonna want you gonna want a fuck He's gonna want to just impregnate and all the women. Yeah, he's gonna get everybody not gonna be good Dude not wife now your wife gonna come into the attempt one night and he's gonna just be ball seep in her butt It'd be fine. You really wow now. Yannis really? I'd be good with that. Now, Yannis, I don't, I agree with him, the Christian. Yannis, I see as a guy who's... I think, here's what I'd be, I think Chris, sorry, Chris is like, is like, ex-caliber.

There was author and who's the other guy? Lancelot. He's like Lancelot. Yeah. He's gonna command and he's very, he's better looking, he has better armor. If Chris gives me a baby, I'll be fine with that, as long as he doesn't, like, you know,

poison my wife's vagina. If he leaves a disease in her, then she's gotta go, he's gotta go. But if it's just a baby, I can really... You really want his big, big, pumpkin there. I just agree, because if it's daughter, he will be different in the situation. You out of your mind, he's not different now.

Yeah, why would he be different in the apocalypse? Well, then she has. She doesn't see apocalypse. I've seen it with the daughter, he's very different. And I. Why would he be different in the apocalypse? Well, then she can have. She can have. I've seen it with the daughter. He's very different. And I got to say this, I feel like, and correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like Giannis has gotten used to a certain level

of living in terms of a comfort thing. He's got a nice house now. He drives very nice cars. He's got very nice cars. But he's got money, right? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, but that's the thing.

Money means nothing once the world's over. So now. That's all teeth. I think we go up when we Money means nothing once the world's over. So now. That's all teeth. I think we go up and we take his house. That'd be a good place to go. I think we go up and go, Yannis, we knock him though. He goes, yo, yo, yo. And we're like, Yannis, let us in.

He goes, guys, I, Yannis, I don't think you heard us. Let us in. You know what? And then he'd be like, all right. And we let it, we'd come in. And then we take over his house. And you know what we should do? I would love to have Verzi on the team

because I feel like if Verzi helps, he's cooking. Verzi lives a few houses up. Of course we have him on the team. Yeah. So we go up there. Oh, Fini's gone, because then we take Noam. Noam is a great fucking negotiator. Noam from the seller.

Yeah. How many people would be mad at him? No. But he has money. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, negotiating. He's like, oh, that's legal. That's not charming. Yeah. I don't know why. You have to do it. You have to do it. Jew lawyer so harshly. Either I'm now second guessing that. I think that with utmost respect. It's this effort.

About the religion and the profession. It's the same thing personally. Happy St. Patty's Day. Anyways, I want to thank you guys for coming in with coronavirus. I want you to want to say something to my fans real quick here. If you can, you ready? This is from you guys to my Patreon fans. Are you ready? Yes. Oh my God. What are we saying? You're going to say, I don't know, Mary fucking St. Paddy's Day, one, two, three, go. Happy St. Patrick's day one two three go happy St. Patrick's day everybody happy St. Pat is day slantia tap

of the morning to a fucking saluda pint and drink with you and yours and as soon as you're allowed back out in the sun enjoy your time because it's limited as we've been taught that's good that was good that he's definitely on the team because he's better you know what I mean you better at Well, well, you did the thing. You're like, hey, happy saying Pat, you're just done. He went, hey, happy saying he was lit up the room and it was okay. And did it at the top of the morning,

whatever else you need. Come on in and give us your tomatoes. You got me. Yeah, tomatoes. And you're like, hey, whatever you got. It just, I have guns. Yeah, I know, but we can't always go that route. We can.

Buddy, you're in the process. I can't, I can't stress this enough. This isn't a only URI or making the team. I have motor cycles. We can both be on the team. Buddy, you can't just kill people. That's why I'm saying we, look, I admire. Killer be killed in this world. No, that's not what we're going.

We're going to kill when we need to kill. That's a pandemic living. No, no, no. But let's Trojan horse it. Let me get us in there and then you kill. kill when we need to kill that's a pandemic living. No, no, let's Trojan horse it let me get us in there And then you kill yeah, we need we listen We want don't want to lose people on our side right can I stand? So oh Liz is here. We have to wrap up I guess right? We have to stop in 10 minutes right we're closing down

It's five of eight Okay, so anyways you guys thank you for coming in. What are you having now? Listen, I know it's tough for everybody. We're gonna get through this. I don't know what we're gonna do. The waiters, the waitresses, the people that work in the clubs, the comics, it's gonna change everything.

Three months off, well, maybe four is gonna be crazy. If you guys need anything, seriously, just contact your local mayor and they might be able to help both of you. I know you both have rich people in your lives. I just don't know who told you that. Yeah. Yeah, guys, as you've heard, our lives are rapidly going down the toilet. We each have a podcast together called the Irish Goodbye Podcast. It's on gas digital network, rival, rival studio. It's not a rival. We're all together in All right, well, I love gas did you if it's between us and them always choose us go Nothing I just said I think I

Yeah, I love you guys Joe. I love you ball bag Call to get you Suarez get some sleep. I love you guys Gabby. What about Gabby? Do you love Gabby? I think I think I buy the Gabby I love you guys. Gabby, what about Gabby? Do you love Gabby? I said goodbye to Gabby. Bye Gabby. Gabby, you say you loved everybody. You don't even love me either. He just loved you and Joe. You don't love, you don't love Mike. I love my call to. What on me? Gabby, you got to earn it. Jesus Christ. Suarez, you're close. A couple more sluggish

than we're there. What? Peace and love. Bye, everyone. I'm going to go this week. Mike, I'll talk to you later tonight. See you guys. Bye guys. Bye. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude. You know what, dude.

You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude.

You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. You know what, dude. Bye guys! Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, sh, sh, sh, shhh, sh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, sh