Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - YKWD From Comix at Foxwoods

Episode Date: July 28, 2013

A special YKWD from Comix at Foxwoods resort and casino featuring Robert Kelly, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Pat Oates.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlos sin pagar nunca. You have all your devices. Plus, TV, come see them without paying. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? On the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Alright, here is a guest intro. Bobby's up killing Montreal, lost his voice. I got no voice dude. So you got me

Rob from Rycast doing the intro to this one. This is a live YKW dude from comics up in Foxwoods. It was Bobby and Lewis J Gomez and Kelly Fistuka, comic pat Oates was there and if you haven't seen one of the YKWD's live they're great to check out. I remember popping a nut laugh and so hard at one of them at Gotham in the city so you remember for a treat this is a good one. Also check out Bobby's dates at robberkillylive.com August 8th 9th 10th 11th, he'll be in Denver, Colorado, a comedy works, and on August 17th, he'll be at Uncle Vinnie's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Don't forget to support all the great sponsors of YKWD, Amazon Gamefly, and of course, Tweak Dordio Earbuds.

Go to iTunes, leave a five-star review for the show, tell everyone, tell your friends how much you love the show, spread the word, enough of me, here it is. Live from comics and fox was YKW. DAD. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leroy.

This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Cricer. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Stay in cooking. You are listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude?

You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude?

You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You Know What Dude? You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need.

You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You know what you need. You fucking poke me one more time. You're gonna get it.

Oh, that's what I say. I'm telling you man. You're on the last fucking principle. You're on the last fucking In your last trip with me Testing one fucking to three. Are we ready? We rollin? Yep All right, great. We're rolling rollin rollin rollin rollin rollin rollin Limpiscates song that was one my head Bowling rollin roll bowling, bowling, bowling. That's because you're a real estate dude. Real estate, real estate is listening to Limpiscat. It's just truth. Yeah, you still.

Fucking band is shit now. Don't make Louisville go to bed himself. Anyways, we're here doing a YKWD live at comics in the afternoon on Saturday. I probably should have tweeted this out so maybe some fans that were in the casino or some people going to the show. And I think come by. There's somebody that's showing up at 430 with weed edibles.

Yeah, well, there you go. We got some on a tweet. I'm going to tweet them to come out. We know right now that we're doing a live show at the club. If anybody wants to stop by Kelly. Here's me. Give me a give me a phone. Here Kelly.

Kelly, you have your computers right there. All right, listen, listen. We're doing a show right now shut you fucking mouth. I got it You're very temperamental. I am because you're annoying me today Why why good friend? I'm not a good friend. First of all you're an asshole You I'm starving we work out after and I'm like dude. I got to eat right now. Okay, man Just come to my room come to my room. I go to your room. So what happens all on me a pair I fucking tried to split a

Rapp with you and then you were too good rap a rap with it. I don't even know where you got it 7 11 wet. It's a wet rat. I don't fucking want it I I've caught I feel like I've worked hard enough in my career and my life to not eat a wet rat from a podag on the e-sau. I've come farther than that to say, okay. So I say, I think I just threw you a pair.

I didn't just throw you a pair and go, oh here Bobby, I have a fucking pair. I gave you half of what I had. I had a pair. You didn't give me the pair. I asked, I had to go, can I have that pair? Because I was so hungry. And then I go, I look, I'm going to go to eat.

She's like, I'm just going to stay in my room. And then, then, then, then. All right, fuck you then. And then I go, dude, I got to eat now. All right, man, I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to make a phone call, and then I'll come down to your room. And we'll order in your room.

Half hour later, I'm sitting there. Yeah. I'm sitting there like fading out. I feel like I'm dying. My eyes are shutting. Oh, my blood sugar's going down. Because it's been a half hour after I did a Lewis J Gomez workout, which fucking I'm not gonna be able to wipe my own ass

or hold my baby for the next week and a half because of urine, ass, all. Dude, hanging upside down with the weight. Shut the fuck up. I haven't worked out in seven months. Was it a good workout though? You force somebody who works out every day. No, the different, the things that I changed for you, did it not work out for you?

Was it not a good workout? I had, here's the problem with you. I had to, I had to. Yeah, that's off the YKWD thing. I had to say to you, stop. You're pushing me too far. I have a bad knee. I'm too heavy.

And you're like, you can do a, no, I can't. Yeah, but you, no, you can't. Here's the thing. I try to push you to a certain level. And you let me know. Hey, there's any discomfort or pain. Obviously, you'd let me know. I did.

And then you can't push it. No, I didn't, you'd let me know. No, and then you kept pushing. No, I didn't, no, I didn't, I have a son fight you to get me not to do shit. That I knew you could do that you decided that you were just fucking pushing out on. Like when you're warming up, I'm gonna push out it all. If you're warming up, you did not walk on a 2.2 flat,

on a fucking treadmill for 20 minutes. You are fucking 65 pounds overweight and have two bad knees, You warm up a little bit. And then when you came back, I was on an eight. You on the phone when I came back. You're having a conversation. That's how I know I'm not doing good. That's how I know when I can't talk anymore, I hit my peak. I'm in fat burning mode. That's my thing I do. All right, I gotta go because I can't talk. That's how I just that that's when I know I'm in fact running mode. Well, you have to introduce the other people,

we have Dan and that's- I do listen. I've been doing this podcast for fucking nine fucking million times without you. Don't you not take it over? Because I introduce people as I go, like I do it every fucking week. I wanted to ask Dan a question.

How's this? Ask him a question, and then I'll run the show I get it nobody because dancing vergajit damn looks like he works out nobody's yeah, good You can go then then I'll usually go we got Dan the what are you here the manager manager producer of the podcast producer of the podcast here at comics. Not ours, but I wish you was I wish he was pretty good. I'm there. I'm there. I'm just producing today. I get ready. Yo, that would be my first thing I produce you out of the show I would just be the My go away from the studio

Anyways, we got Dan here. We got Led Zeppelin. What's your real name? My real name is Carl Carl Carl Carl's like all the comics control gas You emphasize your oral. I have no idea actually. So your name is Carl. It's Carl. Carl. Carl, which I respect, he's got long hair like a girl.

And I get that. I get that. Well, if you're not officially here, be a hub. You should have seen me when I was walking in the casino like chilling in the corner of the elevator with a backpack on. Everyone's probably like, does this kid got, you know, a pressure cooker in there?

Or something for the casino? The flattest ass. Even for an Asian lady. You know what's an amazing experience as a guy with long hair? Yes. Is when you're a scock. All of them that. That's obvious. But when you're in the bathroom, when you're in the dudes room, like standing at a urinal

and you got your long hair and they can't tell if you're a dude or not and like dudes look in, they look in and they like double check the door to make sure they're in the men's room, not the women's room. You giving up like those? Yes, you're questioning time. Yeah, I mean, I am, that's... You do me a favor, if they knew that. The next door you have, can you speed it up?

I have two ways. She's at a little real time. You know when you go to the bathroom, you open the door on the door opens, but then it shuts behind you, and you make sure it shuts. I go into the stall and then you sit in there, and you take guns, if you pants,

paint a picture, man. Oh, holy shit. Now you, what are you fucking Norman Rockwell? Doesn't have to be that realistic Anywho what you real name again Carl Carl Carl Led Zeppelin. He's producing the show now not not and what are you doing? Where the fuck are you going? Well you going you fucking lunatic There's a mic right here. Come sit down if Morgan Murphy comes leave. But listen What's your name again? Pat Pat what pattoes

Comedian who's actually on the show tonight show he's gonna be One of the crew on the later show I've heard of pattoes. I heard of you buddy. Yeah. Yeah Well, where have we met before somewhere we both sucked? Jesus Where have we met before? Somewhere where we both saw it. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm not eating any of the world. I could literally eat anywhere in the world.

I'm gonna put some shitty ones in New York. Pick that mic up. You gotta, you gotta bring, no, you have to pick it up. You can just make the stand, well actually. I'm good. I'm about to reduce the holding it. I hold it, do you?

I get it. We met one of those shitty New York things, you know. All right. All right, well, you're kind of a lawyer. I'm having a meeting. No, we have not met. We are from, man. Can I get it originally?

Yeah, I was a house comic here for a year. Not too many funny guys. Come on, I can't get it. Still isn't. Okay, I saw it just now. Keeping it real. Funny, though. Penal Boston. originally that was a house comic here for a year not too many funny guys come on to kinetic still isn't okay funny though but i don't

have to hilarious red island nothing nothing but i get to believes what island they think they're funny we know we saw that we were proud of it but in between

boston and new york well if you're good you move there didn't stop saying you're from here you just go there and say but the because if you're good, you move there and then stop saying you're from here. You just go there and say, but the book is you're not from there. Everyone I know that is now in New York, which one Connecticut, stop saying they're from Connecticut. But I say I'm from Boston,

even I've been in New York for 50 years. Well, because they're both funny though. The Boston guys are crazy funny. You sort of realize how many fucking great comics are out of Boston. I hate to suck your dick. I hate to give you a comment. I love you just saying.

Where's it right now? Don't I love to suck your dick actually. If I let you suck my dick. Zip nice lips. Listen, you just so much. Right now. You know what I'd love to suck you to do. If I let you suck my dick. Because I've nice lips. Listen, you have nice lips. And I know at one point, I guarantee you that you would just get into it. Like, dude, I know what I'm doing, relax.

I know you'd get, you'd be like, dude, just like that. It might surprise you, though. You know what I mean? Like, let it happen. He would be like, dude, he'd be like, all right, do this. Hold on, hold on, hold on in these, let your legs back relax, I'm just gonna suck it, don't look at me, because if you look me,

it's not enough. Oh he control the whole situation. Well he would know what to do. I know what I'm gonna do. We're taking mouth, we're taking a guy to relax while getting head from another shrink. Cause he's been there. I know a lot of tricks.

So it's like, it's one of my things. Like I like being good at stuff. I don't wanna fucking. You would be at a bus and a round, Bob. Cause you guys, I go to. I like being good at stuff. I don't want to fucking You would be at you wouldn't be at a bus from around Bobby You're not going to juggle some apples. I do some add up tricks. Oh, he boss me if you second my dick I let him boss me around not working out. Oh fucking go to Panera breads. I'm not letting boss me around But if he's second my dick, I'll let him fucking you know on the say he sucked your dick I was like he sucked my dick like you want to like say this was a moment

I'm gonna be like I I heard Lewis start to dick, yeah, but he's really good. Like really? Okay. It wasn't a bad thing. It wasn't just a blowjob, it wasn't experienced. It was theater darling. We need a bomb bandit.

I want to fucking bomb bomb bomb bandit. We were saying Boston comic though, I mean, to say that, as we've been doing about six years now, Boston comedians have tremendous writing, and you have great writing, you do. Your comics have great timing, to say that, as we've been doing about six years now, Boston comedies have tremendous writing, and you have great writing. You do. Your comics have great timing, things like that, but I would brag about being a Boston comic because that knows you can be cerebral and dirty at the same time.

There's a great comics from there. There's a wrecking movie. I say something though, that's a weird, me and Burr were talking about that. It's a weird thing, Burr. You see, you come here? Burr. Bill Burr. I'm stopping.

Go back to sucking his cock. Oh, fuck. I'm dropping fucking ass. Is he really a name-dropper? Yeah. Yeah. He's doing the theater here. The theater, too.

Not the fox. I'm not even doing the fox theater. You can bring a Boston. You can bring a bird. That one's okay. I mean, that's... Burr's not, to me, he's just my fucking roommate in Spanish Harlem for three years He's a balding red head

All right, whatever Not too funny maybe a little mean I apologize Maybe a little calling the kid. What is it again? Well in the kid old black. I hate you so many bull heads here man Shit your face. Yeah, I the kettle black. I hate you. So many bull heads here man. Shut your face. No.

I, uh, I, uh, we were talking about how comic shrimp Boston, we, even me, I'm dirty, but I'm not dirty. Right. There's a line because old women, I look at old women's faces as my barometer and I can see them on things. But most, when they leave, they're like, that was really funny.

They're laugh. Like we can be dirty in front of anybody and it comes across as not offensive for some reason. Well it's funny it's like I mean there's dirty just for the sake of shock whatever. But when you're doing it and being dirty but it's also there's a point behind it. Hang on one second leave that right there don't even pick it up. I don't know. You know, you're not tweeted at us. Fuck him. Kelly will take care of it. No, Kelly's. Work the messaging, man.

But dozing the show. Direct messaging. Kelly, but do sit. Get that fan here. Fuck you. Who is it? Fuck you. No, fuck you. He's closer. Damn, but he's direct messaging me. Wow. But to me, a joke's not dirty.

If it's funny, first of all, and it's pointing at the second, and your jokes are that, you're not just being dirty for shock's sake. And that's a worsen Boston. If you go there, just try to be dirty, it if it's funny first of all and it's pointing to the second and you your jokes are that you're not just being dirty for shock sake and that's a worsen Boston if you go there just trying to be dirty it doesn't work it's not guys but it's not that well thought out though see it's not as important as we say we are let me explain it's it's it's something about the personality of the guys there's an energy or an aura that Boston comics have with this edgy East Coast thing, but we come across, there's something about us,

the way we do it. It's to be likable. You know what I mean? Even though you shouldn't like me when I walk out on stage, but when I'm likable for some reason. Across the board, the only ones that don't like me are hot chicks, as they should. They don't like most.

Well, what I'm talking about is pretty much, you know, you're gonna be old and ugly someday and you're gonna have to deal with your fucking reality. And they don't like looking at that. They like a guy up there with tight jeans, a fucking tight V-neck, you know. Well, you stop pandering to those chicks, you know, a while ago, I think.

I think as a young dude, we'll try to get pussy after the shows. So in the beginning, you're writing jokes that they're gonna like too. But he just knows that when they're making weird face to their material, he doesn't give a fuck. Who cares, they're face is gonna be an asshole face anyway. You wanna meet everyone else,

slap, who cares about making them happy, they're. I mean, he's right, though, back in the day, back at the columns, and when he's, I though. Back in the day, back at the columns. And I used to fucking lean on one. I used to deliver a punchline and lean on an ass cheek and then point at the chick in the froward and give her a wink. Oh, shit. The bitch I wanted to get head off.

Oh, you're like in crowd work. You do jokes like, oh, I'll see you after the show. But you're kidding, but you're not. You're waiting to see if they fucking. You know, get a big laugh. Walk over, take a sip of water, and look her in the eye and go, what's up? You know what I mean? I used to do that. Now if I did that, they'd fucking call the cops.

Just creepy. I want to get back. I want to get back to shape one more time. We're doing it, Bob. We're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing a cheat on our wives. I can't wait to cheat on the board. No, I'm kidding. I'm not going to cheat on my wife. One of the biggest traits with Boston Comics is that they're

always the underdog. Like they never come out on Boston Comics is that they're always the underdog. Like, they never come out on stage and act like they're better than anyone else. And that makes them more relatable. That's very interesting. I never thought I'd say that about something you said. No, I was like, I saw it six years ago and you know all the guys that I grew up, that helped me out at the beginning. We're in hell on going to start. Joe List.

I'm saying loss. Dan Bolger, those guys were all guys who weren't that way. They weren't cocky, but they're good. They're funny. They said things that people, like you said, they were, Tom Dustin, people should not like Tom. People love Tom because that swarming is too old. Well, crap.

The allure should like Tom. They should love him. Yeah, anybody with a scam should love Tom. That's about it. Yeah, magic, anybody with magic. Magic wallets. Oh, that makes me feel like he said. As good as he is, that's a bullshit thing to sell at the end the only reason why let me tell you something the only reason why

I was and he opened the middle for me here Oh, it's hilarious and I said to him I go why the I just I don't like middle guy selling shit Especially if I don't know you Fuck you Become a headliner become better. That's your perk When you become a headliner you get the Become better. That's your perk. When you become a headliner, you get the sell shit. That's actually worth money. Cause you're as a middleer, really,

you're selling your DVDs as much as mine. You, that you made and you fucking fuck you. But he had these wallets and I was like, why? And he goes, he goes, I did the math. And selling these for when I buy them and I sell them, I make the most money with these wallets. So I just wrote a thing about these wallets just so I can make more money. It's the only merch that I can make the most money on.

Right. What is a wall? He opens up and fire pops out of the fucking wall. It's a fire wall. It's a magic store. He invented her shit. He just blew up and sold himself. He sells the math to the show. wall. It's a fire wall. It's a magic sword. He invented her shit. He just blew them in self-suffering. He sells them out to the show.

He sells them out to the show. He makes that like a CD. Wouldn't make him as much money. No. So I respect that. He's just trying to make more money. He wrote one shit joke to make it work and he sells it at the end. He sells two or three and he's good.

Two make more money. That's it. So I'm actually good with that. You are being honest enough that you're a piece of shit that you have to watch. That's it. So I'm actually good with that. You are being honest enough that you're a piece of shit that you have to watch. You don't realize, dude. He's really lost it. I did that. I did. I expect that. Try to go through the air put with a fucking firewall. Maybe one I had at my bag. What's this? Open it. I'm the one time he forgot about I was doing a gig with him don't want time. He forgot a belt.

I was doing a gig with him in Columbus, Ohio. He forgot his belt. So he just took his strap off his computer bag. You know those little hooks that he pushed down and opened up and you hook it on. And he used that as a belt for the whole weekend. It was like, dude, I think I was like, can I just buy you a belt? You alcohol it. You just put down 14 beers after the show. Oh, and you can't buy a belt.

Ah, what are you gonna do? Can I make a side note? Make a side note. Kelly told me that she's a little hairy downstairs right now. No, did I? You did that with it. I wanna know. You know what's weird that you said?

I heard that you said that you might go back to Australia. I'm going back in September. How am I come to that? It's a price. I can't talk about it because I haven't told my parents. Did they listen to my show? Well, my dad sometimes listens. Oh God. It's a price for my parents. Oh, no one's saying anything. You dad listens to your show and I call your box huge all the time. And the problem is the surprise not your box hair Ganty Harry That's a no coming home

Like Kelly's carrying around a box with Giant Harry pussy. No, my dad's very busy box My dad's pussy. Box might not be an Australian thing. Well, let's clarify. We're talking about Kelly's giant Harry pussy. Your father is great at Shakutri. Shakutri. Yeah. We're just kidding about coming home. The box is good.

Shakutri is when you, the drying and curing of meats. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what you thought of that. Yeah, I brought you back some prosciutto. They've been hanging in the garage for a few months. Yeah, garage. Well, no, but here's the thing that I'm worried about you, Kelly, is that you, you might move

back to Australia for good. You're actually in your, it's, it's tumbling around in your brand that you might say, fuck this. I'm out when I'm going to go home. It's been tumbling around for a while because I've been thinking about doing the Melbourne comedy. What? But no, but it's, it's there.

I really fucking thinking of leaving. I, I think about. You were kidding. Really? I think about going You were kidding. Really? I think about going home all the time and staying here. Like, this isn't my home yet. I have a maid. What, I'm Mr. Foxwoods.

No, New York, I have a maid in America at my home yet. It's a totally different country. We don't want you. Yeah. America's a different country. It is, you know that. Are you kidding? You have to get to know this.

Oh my God, Somebody Google that. Ben-Han. How do you make it your home? How do I want to be your home? Huh? What makes it your home? Well, I haven't really, like, I haven't established, like, a life beyond, like, if I had, like, a partner and, you know, there was more, I had, like, a family, yeah, to fuck us apart.

What's the point of it? One of the point of it. You're doing it with a firm. What do you poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective.

He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective.

He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. He's a poor detective. I then Dan Dan do you like giant Harry posies? Oh, geez. No, they do like shitty access. They're the best. Do you like girls? Well, you have that look

What look is that that look that you for you're really in shape? You're a good looking guy. You clean cut. You might you know fucking suck a little panty on the side Sorry to disappoint you show up. Sure. It is disappointing to me and Lewis I can imagine we were gonna fucking rape you tonight We're gonna have him fucking play the guitar while we fuck you. I'm not that strong But if I open the door I think there was a girl in there because you look such like a girl like his fucking bathroom story Yeah, that fucking you want to tell that? Yeah, it's time to revisit that all hang on tell that story So like you know when you go into a bathroom

and like you're walking towards it and then you have to pick. I actually want Kelly to tell this to me. That's a bad answer. You know you grow up in a bathroom and you like something long hair at any back and then what? You met it, Dave, Dan. You met it, Dan, for having a full head of hair, but he shaves it off.

I'll be mad. That's coral. No, I saw one of him, though. I think Dan, I think'll be mad. Look at him. No, I saw him, though. I think, Dan, I think Dan looks great. I actually like when, dude, I used to do that as a kid. It's got the wiffle. I'd be mad. If I was a guy and I didn't have hair, and I saw him, I shouldn't.

Why am I mad at a kid that's fucking 15 years younger than me with a full set of hair, what he does with his hair, you ass all? I'm 42. I bald it. He might be there someday because he's not living his hair life to the fullest. Dan hold you. He's showing us I would do it if I could. I want to go back to this. Oh yeah. So you're thinking about leaving. No I'm not it's in the back of my mind I have not had any I've never actually had the thought like I think I want to go back. You'll go back you're going to go back someday. We're not going to tell when because it's surprised

your dad gets, you know, whatever. I've got that name. And when you're home, do you feel good? I feel great, but I'm all comfortable. It's still comfortable? Yeah, but I feel, I feel very antsy when I'm home because I'm not working. But can't you work comedy at home?

Not like I can here. Why? Because the opportunity is a very little. There's only two comedy clubs in Melbourne as opposed to what, 12, 14 in the city. Right. There's no open mics. I'm lucky to get up once a week in Australia.

And also, there's no TV. There's no Australian content. There's not a show that has a stand-up comic do stand up. But there's no Jay Leno, Ferguson, Letterman, any of that stuff. But you don't have that here either. Well, I wonder, am I? And that's why they hit a work towards it.

I understand. So you're not going to move him back. We don't have to replace you with Rotem. No, the thought I was thinking I was that... Oh, wait, everyone, I'll stay in New York. We replaced Rotem. Oh, shut up. Yeah, God.

Why are you like Rotem? It's fucking great. Big old paratitis. Is something about those big old Jewish titties that make me just Jesus Christ. You know, she's 20, right? 21. Oh, God. I hope she has a give her beer, so.

She's not. She's 20. I'm kidding, I didn't give her beer. I didn't say it here, I said it just 21. All right, Kelly, well, that's what you need to do. You need to let me know if you're gonna move back. Oh, well, yeah. Well, anybody with that fucking Australian thing,

that option, when you have options, you choose to, those are always, I have no options. Oh, you do have another country to go to right now, and just fuck it. I can't, I can't, I'm done. I got no options. I got no degree, I got no, I'm doing this, or I'm not doing anything. Well, I don't have any

York. It makes sense for you because of all the things she said she doesn't have like, you know, the TV shows like I can also go to New York and not have all those things It's like because I would never those things. I have two clubs at sock to let me go in New York and that's it He can go to all those or go to Australia and have not another It's little things like For parents are getting older. I think about that. They're getting older. Someone gets sick. I'm not there. It's those sort of things.

I want to warn you parents. I'm not there. Stay here. The thing is, I know that once I'm in Australia, it's bad. Comedy is going to probably have to take a back seat because I can't do it. It's going to go by quick, too.

I remember thinking about that shit when I moved to New York. And then my grandfather's passed. My grandmother's in a home. You know, it's weird. I, you know, I, I, they don't want me to come. My parents are very much like, you need to say New York,

they know that I'm happy in Australia because it's a thing they can't call me. You can't get good in comedy in Australia. It's not so much. I can't, no, and it's not. You need the level of competition in New York City. You can't really get good anywhere about New York City for my own say.

I mean, I guess there's a lot of density in LA, so there are some good dudes out there. There's the word density again. I'll fucking hit you with this microphone. Lewis, you should try to upgrade your fucking life on this show. Inceivable. I'm a fucking, there's a lot of density in LA.

Shut your, yeah, there's gonna be a lot of dense when you move there. Fucking dumb dumb. New York makes you a good comic. Well, New York doesn't make you a good comic, or the level of competition will make you live up to your best potential. You know what I'm saying? Like, he will never be good, but he'll be at her best in New York.

The reason why people become better in New York City is because of the amount of stage time. That's it. And that's all I want. If you're, first of all, you're not going to come to New York unless you're good enough cities because of the amount of stage time. Yeah. That's it. And that's all I want. If you're, you have, first of all, you're not going to come to New York unless you're good enough in your own brain, which is usually for the most part people are right. Those people that aren't ready that come there.

But for most part people come there. And when you get there, there's a million opportunities to do comedy to become better. You become better from performing. And then, you know, when you get to levels like you're at the seller and you're following Colin Quinn, Tom Popper, Norton, Greer Barnes, you know, and then you, you're gonna have to keep you step your game up or you're gonna get, you're not gonna have stage time.

Yeah, but I think that's a big part of it too, not just the stage time though, because there's other cities that have stage time available, like there's a shit ton of fucking stage time. But I think that's a big part of it too, not just the stage time though, because there's other cities that have stage time available. There's a shit ton of fucking stage time in Toronto, but there's no good comics. Not as much. There's not a much is New York. There's no other cities. There's a lot. There's no other city as much as stage time is New York. And stage time is what makes comics better. What makes comics better? I'm not saying everybody better. Some people aren't comics. Some people, it takes a lot longer to get better than a regular guy who's been doing it for eight years in his hometown, and then moves to New York, and you're actually a headliner, but now you're a fucking open-micro.

And then you put your killing it. I know, I mean, that's the, that's the progression I think comic should take, is you should become a strong middleer or a heavy headliner, a new headliner before you move to New York City. And then when you move there and you get that opportunity, fuck it, let's go. I couldn't do that.

I should have shi-pells on. I've been killing in my hometown. I've got, I know people that way, would do that, but I couldn't do that in Australia. I just, there was nothing there. I had to move, you know? I had to start from the beginning here. Yeah, well you should, I mean, it's weird,

because, you know, people know, this is what sucks for you, is people know you for what you are, what they see. And it's gonna take a year for somebody to look at you again and go, oh, she's gotten better. Yeah. That sucks. I have heard that, but I have heard that lately, which is a good thing.

Not any of us. Not any of us. Not from these crowds. Not from the guys at the Jeffries move up, because he was just that good and people just saw it. Yeah. John, there was nothing for us in the go-to. Doom Jeffries, he never did a comedy in Australia.

He went to London for 10 years. He did comedy, then got strong there there and then made it in America it's there's no you guys this you guys wouldn't be able to mention the name of an Australian comic that got good in Australia there's a few of them but they're not known yeah people like Adam Hills Dave Hughes Carl Barron for the biggest comics in Australia and in London and in Canada. But they're not big. Doesn't matter, they're not big in America.

Yeah, but let's not say that. I mean, Australia definitely loves comedy. And yeah, the festival's one, the most amazing thing. The big comedy supporter and outlet for comedians. They have the big huge festival. And there's comics from Australia that you know, maybe they didn't start in Australia. look at this people like who's the guy that was from here that's really bad out there. Oh not in next there but who's the other guy.

I don't know if it was Jim Delacus. He's from there. He's huge there. He's the guy from here. He did the weed monologues and what's his name? Jim Delacus. I don't know him. He's in New York now but I mean he had a new version. So you're not thinking of moving back is myos. I don't know him. He's in New York now, but I mean, he's in a very recent. So you're not thinking of moving back, is my point. You're not moving back. I did have the thought of I wanted to do the festival in April, and I was thinking about moving back for four months to kind of do something. You know if you move back for four months, you ain't coming back.

That was my... You understand that? You move back for four months. I know you're not coming back. That was what I was scared about. And I spoke to Pat with Nick Cody, like, if I go home and work towards a festival, save up some money, have a day job, blah blah blah, and then come back to New York. And that was my biggest fear.

I was like, I'm gonna come back. And Cody was like, yeah, you'll come back. You'll come back. I'm like, I wouldn't though. You know what I mean? I don't want to- I don't want to be like a 20-hour flight. It's a 25.

It's not because of the flight. I couldn't just for that alone in my home. don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I cup of water, takes it, and he starts shadow boxing. He can't, all of a sudden, I'm on the phone with my manager. One of my managers is like, we gotta go, we gotta, just like I gotta go now, it's kicking in. It's like, what the fuck is kicking in? What did you just do?

It's nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide. It's partial, it's partially like an energy drink, but it also get you like vascularity flowing your blood. So it's a really flow So you got to work it off to fucking hate you Viscud density in there density could have worked there. Yeah, I really should have time I don't worry in there Vascular density so I got no big fight

I got with my God I don't know if you talk about it. I got a huge fight with my mom. I'm getting sick of hearing about my mom. Wow, you know what? I'm kidding. Don't touch me. I want to hear it again. But he pointed at you twice. Ah.

Oh, dude, you stuck in the... We worked out yesterday and we did it. We did it. We did it. And now I just keep on poking Bob. I'm getting his dumb chest. It hurts so bad that I can't move. He's stretching out.

He didn't stretch it out. He didn't stretch it out. You guys are going to sit down and stretch out stretch it out. He didn't stretch it out. You guys are gonna sit down and stretch out. Stretching's for fair. I didn't even smile in pain like that before. It was like this. What did you say stretching the face?

Why is that true? Why is stretching for fucking women? I'm like, I don't know if I'm 42. I should be stretching longer than I workout. And I'm just like stretching's for broad. Stretch with me. Because you never, you never seen guys stretching back in the day. I couldn't imagine John Wayne stretching.

I know we do active stretches. We stretch in between our sets. And we were stretching, fucking put my arm on the machine, and then leaned. It's a warm down. You're going to warm down the muscles after this. Well, you are built like a fucking case of marshmallows. I'm not taking anything.

You really are made of fucking pregnancy pillows. We're going to tell you a puppy. Tell you a puppy. Tell you a puppy. Tell you a puppy. She can go between your legs and around your fucking stomach. I'm gonna have a fool and I told you I don't know what that is. I'm gonna go Google it.

Pillow. She looks like she was made for Halloween to sit on a porch Kelly's marion leaves Oh You got a fucking tire ankles off All right guys all right yeah look at you have to get all cold with the fucking kettle shot, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, look at it.

Yeah, I'm looking at Lewis with his legs wide open. Can you like sit like a fucking proper person? Is that an angling and minnitrified dick towards me? A minnitrified dick. You're a dick. Is your dick purple? Is your dick, is it pump a nickel? Or was that like the gene? Do you have a picture of a dick? Why, I'm sorry. Can I see your dick purple? Is your dick, is it pumpa nickel? Or was that like the gene?

Do you have a picture of a dick? No, I'm sorry. Can I see your dick? I just showed you the video on me. I want to see, okay, I'm going to look at your dick again. Why? Now is, okay, there's your thing. Your fingers are touching something black.

Is that your pants? Let me see. Is that your dick? Is that just your... My dick, you can see my, you can see my, you can see my, what is your fingers holding onto? My hand is on the dick. So your dick is black.

So the pink, the pink is the thing. That means you're dick? Pull your dick out. You guys, if you don't want to look, don't look. I want to see your dick. You got a video of your dick. Let me see your dick. For me, turn this way and you show me.

I thought it might fall in everything. I don't have to go to the dick. Give some time to work it up. Work it up and I want to see you dick Just work it up video first. I know what I'm looking for before. Yeah, give me a video so we can know show the dick All right, let me see work it up you want me to help you? Yeah, what is that I work it right now? What's the black part? I don't the black part? These are the worst fingers are there's the helmet and then it's a black part that he's the worst fingers are this the helmet and then a black part does black what the

You have a black dick what's that part? What are you gonna take a picture? Lewis is actually working I've had a dick for a long time and I've never had a sweater on it Or whatever the fuck he's wearing on there like it looks like it was burnt look at that part. What is that right? You've seen dick right? wearing on there like it's like it was burnt. Look at that part. What is that? You've seen Dick, right? Do you ever have a sweater?

I love that. You gotta get it worked up. You gotta work it up. Yeah, you can. You can. Yeah, you can. Turn around like a woman. Dude, you gotta do it for the show.

I'm trying. You gotta. You see this? Listen, go over there and work. I'll let you. I'll let you. You gotta work it up. You gotta work it up.

I'll let you. You gotta work it up. You gotta work it up. Dude, it it up. You gotta work it up. You gotta work it up. You gotta work it up. You gotta work it up. It's not close. It's got like a sock on it. I gotta see it. I gotta see it.

I gotta see it. I gotta see it. I gotta just see it. I gotta just see it. I'm looking through the shorts now. That's all you got. I just gotta see. I'm looking through the shorts now.

I just gotta see it. I'm looking through the shorts now. I just gotta see it. I'm looking through the shorts now. I just gotta see it. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I'm looking through the shorts now. I, that's a regular dick. Why is your dick black in the video? You have the regular- It's a regular dirty Spanish cock.

Which is the Lewis's dick in between gorgeous pictures of his son. Dicks, it just looks like it just fucking fixed a muffler. Just a greasy dick. Dirty. Actually, it talks about it. It's going to be OK. He says it's the color as ET, but he was sick down by the river.

Well, anyways, yeah, I got no fight with my mom. Well, she, you know, this guy, neighbor, lives next door. I have a joke about it in my act. You know, he gave my sister a kidney 10 years ago, whatever. Maybe longer. And I've never gotten along with a guy. I don't like the guy. He's a weird guy.

He lives alone. He's kind of nerdy. He's awkward, socially awkward. I just don't get along with the guy. And he's kind of been addicted to me a couple times. I've tried to be friends with him. He's just annoying and weird and just fucking, ugh. But my family loves him and he's been nice to my family.

Obviously, I mean, yeah, obviously I get it. Right. You know what? There is a statue of limitations on that. Oh, that's not. You do one good thing. It's still be a dick. Yeah, it's like, all right, you get VIP, you know, you get to be you and uncomfortable,

but I get it. My okay. And my, you know, we're doing this party, my uncle put this party for my new son, Max, on Sunday at my grandmother's house. And that's where we all grew up. 13 of us in a three bedroom, and it's got a lot of his... It's my coffee, you fuck. No.

No, oh, go ahead. I know, I don't want whatever you have. You just touched your dick and now it's coffee, yeah, I know, it's just your... You're just a total Spanish person. Such a stereotype, a little bit. Just come at somebody. I just touched such a stereotype I'm holding your coffee can have a sip. What's the problem? I don't know you degenerate fucking stupid project asshole I know I grew up in a better fucking life than you my parent you were raped for a steak. I wasn't raped. I did it willingly

Yeah, but it was like it's like you know, it was right though. It wasn't but now he was a child It was a 20 he was young too. How young was he though? I don't know he was like a young teenager I was a young he was a 14 did he have pubes? I don't think yeah, I don't know Not a lot and there was a swimmer he shaved there was not a lot. There was a very little pubes Is the Asian cuz then that makes sense. No, there's a white nerd like Neil. You guys don't fuck with the city. Oh, that's why you're being Neil, dude. Oh, man, it's Neil.

It reminds you of your steak rape. It's Neil, that was the guy. Steak rape. If you don't. He's being a victim of steak rape, coldly authority. Anyway, is this guy? And he went back to the guy. This guy.

So you know, it's about, the party's about my son being introduced to my family, at my grandmother's house, and they also incorporated my sister graduated, my older sister graduated college at 46, which is amazing. She's just a fucking long. No, it's amazing that she had a kid, a single mom, and took care of this kid her whole life her

her 20s and 30s and then went back to school in her 40s and got a fucking drive to go back I'm 30 I'll never go back crazy I never would it's crazy and she's on the honor roll I mean she's just genius she's just highly intelligent that says a lot about somebody to me that they do that and then she lives alone and blah blah blah but you know they're doing these parties and then my wife my mom not she'll want me to say to me two days before the party oh and Neil's coming with us why why is Neil coming? this is family. By the way this this one of the story last night when Bobby was telling us

I asked it was a simple question is this a sister that Neil gave the kidney to and then Bobby got up and he kicked the chair across the room? I was mad and was furious that I would have the audacity. No, let's not let's not he was whipping He's literally both of these fucking stupid comics were tagging every They will make it Literally story I am telling them the real story and they're literally telling the joke that I already wrote Years ago that I have you You know what I mean? A little bit drunk.

Yeah, and they're both shit faced by the way. I'm 30 years sober. So I'm going to deal with it. Fucking out these ripping apart. I'm trying to be real. It's my fault. I'm trying to be real with two fucking drunk open migrants in a green room. I'm fucking 130 in the morning. So we got you back though. My fault. So yeah, I did get a little, I got angry. And you know, it's hard, you only get angry. This fucking gorilla. You had a little senior moment through the fucking thing over.

Yeah, this gorilla, you know, you can only kick this gorilla a couple of times. The reason I'm out of it now. And he realizes he can bend the fucking bars. How you gonna do? Oh, boom. Get out. I can get out here. Oh, boom. Get out. So, so uh. So your mom's not to let me.

I'm from Gouni's when he knew he could break the chain. So here's the deal. I got fucking mad because she, you know, she pulled the fucking fast one on me. And I overreacted. I look, I overreacted. I now that they know how you feel. Well, she knows that I like the guy.

And she invited him, which is is like why would you do that that her moment that's not that there's nothing to do with him but it was other people being made up your moment shouldn't have been there it's it's like look you know i don't like them this isn't your barbacuda this isn't a christmas party this isn't uh... birthday at your house this is about max and leesa and you invited him and you know i don't like them This isn't birthday at your house. This is about Max and Lisa and you invited him and you know what I like him.

Why don't you like him? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I'm your son. You have a really separate reason. He's a reason, by the way. I'll tell you the reason. You want me to tell you one of the reasons? All right, around after tourgasm, I got a bunch of fame real quick. And I was doing rooms.

I finally went from a guy who was meddling and headlining rooms and whatever. Whoever showed up showed up, right? All of a sudden the place was sold out. Collins was sold out on the Thursday. That's where I started. Sold the fuck out, line out the door, comedy connection downtown, three sold out shows out of four, right? And I put together this big night. I get 40 tickets for my family at Collins. And places sold out.

I do this and she brings this guy. She brings this fucking guy. It's a drip. I don't like him. She brings him and then I have Al Dabeni, who's the guy who came up with me, opening for me. I'm doing my CD. It's this amazing.

The huge moment for you, giant. And I do the show and I annihilate at the college. We all go downstairs. The owners of the columns are Bobby. Thank you for coming. They give us this big table on the back. My whole family, my brother, my sister, all these people and this fucking dribble. This guy sitting there. And on my one of my brothers' friends, me and Al the Benny, he, they were stone. My brother and his friends were stone. And we were fucking with him. Like, dude, what you fucking, what's up?

You're stone, you, and he, I don't know, it just snaps. This guy goes, fuck you, Barbie. What the fuck, man, stop fucking with me. Like, he just lost it. This is, first of all, I don't know you, you're my brother's friend. I met you tonight, motherfucker. This is my party. This is my night, my family.

You don't fucking talk to me like that. And I didn't say anything. I didn't deserve whatever, because you're on drugs, whatever fucking sensitivity. And you start to get, I go, I grabbed them, I go shut the fuck up. My mother's right there. I go shut the fuck up my mother's right there You better shut the fuck up sit down and get your shit together and Then Neil this guy Neil goes you why don't you leave why don't you limb alone Bobby? Leave him alone

What you sitting at a table of comics at a comedy club? right and you're fucking high and you get sensitive go fuck yourself right and then you're what you leave me a little fuck you leave me alone why don't you mind your fucking business he he I said you're high because you are and you snapped you fuck he snapped of me I told him to go fuck my you know fuck you Bobby in front of my mother, my, my chicken, everybody. And I'm like, well, don't fucking, you don't even know what the fuck happened, Neil.

My wife even said, Neil, shut up. You don't even know what happened. You're just fuck, you're just sticking up for him because you don't like me. Right. Anyone's against you is with him. Right. So anyway, there was this big deal,

whatever, this kid wanted to believe. And he was an idiot. He's an idiot. But whatever. That shit happens. I don't give a fuck. Then Neil goes, uh, Neil's gonna pay for the, Neil tries to pay for the meal. I just made a lot of money. This, I took my family out. I'm paying for the fucking meal. This is where I get to go. I got it. I got it. Finally. You got me, my heart. I never get, he goes, I got it. I go, Neil, you're not picking up, I got it, but, Neil, you're not fucking, my wife had to go,

Neil, give him the check. This motherfucker tried to steal my moment. Because that's what he does. He gives people money, he buys people gifts, he gives people fucking, get these. This buys people gifts. He gives people fucking kidneys. That's awesome. What are you talking about? I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing it. He's just doing it. Hang on. Go ahead, go ahead. He's doing it to say, fuck you, I can do this, to get the adoration. You know, I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to show everybody up.

I can say, look, I got the bill. Sit down, fuck. You ain't supposed to be here. I didn't invite you. You don't pay the fucking bill, motherfucker. I invited my family out to dinner. This was my invitation to them to give back to my family. And you're trying to steal that so people go what oh Neil pit what a

nice fuck I'm on you can say it later I bought to me fuck you I'm on me you I'm on to them what a dick the kidney part is nice that is yeah but here's the thing with that too is that him and my sister became close to have that and he tried to hook up with my sister he did it because he liked my sister. So there was still, yeah, that's kind of gross, isn't it? There's still, I'm creepy, but I've never given a kidney for pussy.

I never, I've never thought of it. And she's gonna feel really bad because she's like, maybe I should sleep with him because he can give me a kidney. Like does that kind of thing? No, the locals think in the head. No, but he has the kidney. She's gonna give it back.

She's been an idiot comic right now. You've already got it, you've already got it. No, you're a moron. And it made a kid shine like that. She's been an idiot. Yeah, you've already got it. You've already got it. I'm gonna kill you tomorrow. I'm gonna kill you tomorrow. She's got everything she could get with guys. You would think, well, you've already got one of my organs in you. Well, he said that last night, and I already put it in my ass. That's what, man.

That's what, man. Yes, that's what, man, man. Last night, he said that. No, and you're a dream, he was already hacking. And you woke up and he was hacking for real. No, I didn't. You were shit faced. You did.

No, I didn't. I don't drink or use drugs. Yes, you did You did the fucking story It's not like you were the first person to think of the organ joke of course not but here's the deal is it's like That's why at that time I was like this guy I You're an asshole. I don't fucking like you and then anyone else could offer to pay for it You still want to do it. No, you still want to do it But it wouldn't have missed pictures of as much as knowing his and when I said no you go, okay

No, I he wouldn't let it go He wouldn't it's like I kept I was like are you no? I go don't you fucking do it? I got it I'm telling you not to I got no he wouldn't let it go right like he was He came like a things everybody's like my wife had to go give him the check kneel like that my wife had to get involved Do you know what I mean? Yeah you mother fucker? This guy and that to me is a as an asshole that's a fucking just an asshole you had to make a big deal out of the check yes everyone looked and went oh look Neil sort of pay for the check you ain't supposed to but you ain't

supposed to be here my mother invited you I don't like you and you're here at my so you had a jam like him before the absolute I didn't know why you can tell that we're not real shit. Well, I just asked you a question I said why didn't you like this guy? I know I can Tell you Bobbie let me finish I asked you want to stare you fat and that's why you just Discussion told this long story about why don't I think I but he was just there that's one Already like one of the scenarios. What is the root?

What the root is. He's done stuff like that before, like passive aggressive stuff, conversations, like being around him is always awkward. I just, like, I've tried to talk to him and it's like, ugh, you know that person you just, like, talk to him, you like them? Never. Never really.

I feel like he, just now. I just never got along with them, which is human nature. It's human nature. Oh, no, they're just one hated day one. You just don't get along. The intuition. Yeah.

You don't go against it. You know why you don't. It's like fucking Joe List. I don't, I get why people like him, but what ever. What's that? But it's, it's, you know, it's like that was the thing where I finally went fuck this guy. And this stuff after that that he's been at the high, it's just like, ugh, I don't talk to him, I don't, I don't fuck with him though, I don't, I'm not a dick back.

Does he hate you? I don't think you always say to like, you're my whatever, I don't get why he doesn't like me. Look at man, I don't think he likes me either. That's fine. I think I represent something to him. Do you understand? He doesn't like me. Look, man, I don't think he likes me either. That's fine. I think I represent something to him. Do you understand? He doesn't like alpha males.

Yeah, okay. He doesn't like that. Does he want himself? No, he's a nerd. He's a fucking thin dude. We're an Adam's apple and a fucking... Did you do the guy who beat up in high school and just remind him of that shit?

Maybe, maybe. You know, that's me. You know what I mean? So maybe that's why he's kind of an awkward to me is because... Is he older than you? Yeah, he's way older than me. You know what I mean? So maybe that's why he's kind of an awkward to me. Is he older than me? Yeah, he's way older than me. But he's done so much for my family. He's done so much.

Everybody loves Neil. Everybody loves Neil except for me. I just don't like him. Is it because like an issue in your family, they all like, why don't you? You think you're being stupid? My brother today we do on the phone. He's like, why don't he's a great guy. He's done all great shit to you

Not to me. I've only had bad encounters with this guy. I've never had a good moment with this guy He's been a Controlling weirdo and then I stopped bringing shit up like yeah, he does do that weird shit It's just my my brother my father my sister. They just let the shit roll off their backs. That's not in me, which I wish it was. I wish I could let more shit roll off my back. I just don't. And it was just a fucking nightmare.

My mother wouldn't say sorry to me if she accidentally shot me in the fucking chest. She wouldn't be like, well, you shouldn't have been there. What are you doing while I'm sitting there with a gun twirling it around? I mean, at your head. You know, she really wouldn't. So it was this big thing last night and today, and then I got on the phone with my mother, and we had this, I just, you know, I feel a little bad because I, I was, I finally got

to the point, I was like like I don't give a fuck Here's the deal you guys are more worried about him being comfortable and happy than you are me my son's day So I'll be uncomfortable and invite your friend that you guys love so much and have him come to my son's thing And I will be uncomfortable and he can be comfortable and they were were like, well, well, that's what you're asking. You don't get your cake, you need it too. Either he goes and I feel weird, or he doesn't, and I'm good. And so my mother, so I told them not to come.

Good. You know, and we got into this big thing. And it was a fucking nightmare. It was a fucking nightmare. And I, you know, I, I get, I turn into my mother. You know, I turn and I, you know, I turn into her. But she hears things this, I don't like people. If you're going to argue with me, you better have your shit together.

You better be honest and you better have your shit together because I will not let you get away with passive aggressive shit. You know, it's like, well, what do you do to you? What are you so, so I told them the story I've told you. I first I said, I'm not telling you, I'm not getting it because it doesn't matter to you. It doesn't matter. Finally, she would be like, what is it? You won't tell us why you don't like this guy, but you want us to back you up. First of all, do you, if you really need that, You need evidence to believe your son. You need justification. You need evidence. Yeah. You need evidence to justify why you back your son. That's fucking sick right there to me. That's fucking nuts. You're my son.

I got you. That's it. Especially when you're going to tell a story to she can say why was there exactly what happened. Oh, it is what happened. She was there. She was like, he's wanted to pay a bill. Her version was he just wanted to pay the bill and you flipped out. Oh, is that what happened? Really? Is that all that happened? Are you crazy? And my wife even said to it. That's not all that fucking happened, Kathy And I wind up telling her the story and she's like, well, why do we have to live in the past? Why do you you just fucking? Do you understand the craziness? Why do you have to you just ask me?

Made me tell you what the fuck it was You know what I got a side with me on this whole thing and then You Fuck it was you know what I got aside with me on this whole thing and then You fucking wait I got nails podcast you you You would fucking this awesome kidney podcast. He talks about like I wonder if you walk He gives you a hundred dollars just for being on it gives you a hand job as you leave. It's the best podcast He sounds like a fucking weird He's Sounds like a fucking weird us

Drip like he ever has to be careful. They say to him like yeah I was fucking and here's the thing about my I'm killed. He's everybody's yes, man. He buys everybody gifts in the neighborhood My brother he bought him a basketball court. I just we bought him like one a whole full hoop It's like what the fuck by that? He is son? You might be the only person in here actually he has no kids But the wife our own man creeped that by your bed for this guy house on a cul-de-sac full of families Did I feel bad for this guy? Dude, look there are people like that. He's the fucking fat kid of all the toys growing up

No, but you know, I'm saying the the the Never got attention and now we want you to buy it. It's like, did I have to get it? I went to, I went to, I went to, there has to be some to be said. I would, you don't buy friends. That's what you did. If they didn't give the kidney, if you didn't give the basketball court and all the other bullshit, you wouldn't be over the house.

You'd be the weird guy that lives next door. If you didn't give a kidney, if you didn't give the fucking money and the gifts, you would be the weird guy that lives next door. If you didn't give a kidney, if you didn't give the fucking money and the gifts, you would be the weird guy that lives next door. But you don't feel bad for that guy? I don't feel bad for the guy that bought the cable hood. Kidneys in basketball. Well, you know what? I brought him in as a special guest. Neil, come on out.

You're gonna get a car. No, you did, bitch. And Neil leads his own Oprah show. No, you did it. And Neil leads his own Oprah show. That's what he needs. I got it. You get a kid. Neil sounds like a fucking lot living Santa Claus. I love it.

Neil sounds like Gacy. More and more. I hear what I don't like. There is so gay. I don't like. Kelly is just a yes man. Kelly is a lot of serial kill stuff and it's dripping. No.

You are just a yes man. You keep on shooting. I'm gonna give him. Because I know people like that and they creep me the fuck out and I never want to see them. He's gonna use something. I know. I'll go met this guy.

I'd love to let you go on a fucking movie day with this guy. No, no, look, see when you come back, you'd be like, dude, I had to kill him. Bob, I didn't want the pop party about the candy. I had his snap his neck. Bob, I did it. I had to snap his neck. He tried to touch my, he tried to touch my black pupa-nuckle-cog. Bob, I get it. I had his snap his neck. I tried to touch my black,

pump a knuckle-cock in the building with me. Bobby, I get it. I get why you hate him. I hate people like that all the time. I hate you. No, you don't. You love me. You fucking love me.

But I don't like how Kelly is just going, oh, he has a drip. Just a real drip. There's nothing in the story. Hold on. There's nothing in the story that you're saying, except for very personal things that really bug you But from an out-of-per-spec-to-anybody else listen to the story literally everyone in home right now is going

You know sound like that bad of a guy Nobody at home is thinking that and I'm not saying that you're not right Mind fucking the listeners yet. No dummy. This is in Legion of shit-dicks Yeah, no, you don't, dummy. This isn't legion of shit, Dix, though. The one you're on. I think this is YKWD and they have their own brains. And people can read between the lines and understand what I'm saying is that this guy, I'm not saying

that I don't expect my parents to hate this guy. I respect their relationship. I respect that they like this guy. And they really, I don't ever say don't like this guy. I don't bring up these stories. And when he's at the house, I do not treat him fucked up. I just ignore him and stay away from him. Or I do not go.

I don't, you understand? It's just, here's the party that's not yours, mom. And again, like that night at Caloons, it wasn't your night. That was my night for you guys and you made it about you and who you thought should be at my party. So you sat him down again and here you're doing it again. I got to be

at my if I looked over and saw the sky, would you imagine someone you don't like holding your brand new baby? Is that right? Am I in a line? No, that was the most important thing. That's what I get. Like, literally, he sounds amazing for him giving things and stuff like that, but we all

have that guy that we hate. That everyone else we know is like, why did you hate that guy? We all have that fucking, and if he showed up everything you did, I know you have fucked me shit. I know you, I've got that fucking guy in my family. I'm like, it's fucking nice. He's talking. So I know you don't have headphones.

Shut your face. But we all have that guy. I got two kids. There was someone in my ex-wife's family. I couldn't fucking stand. He come there. I couldn't stand. He was just a creep and a bastard.

And don't get that. That I hated him. People I knew got wide. Because my personality just didn't mesh. I hated him touching my kid. Him and later on saying, call me Uncle, fuck you, you're not an uncle, you're just some kid.

I don't, you don't need that person. We're like all of that asshole. I mean, he didn't give my family kidneys and shit. He just asked for shit. He was even worse. We gave him shit and he left with parting gifts. We all have that, dude. He said, do you guys have any more than anything?

Do you guys have any kidneys you're gonna let me? Here's the thing though, is I don't hate the guy. I don't hate him more than anything. I just don't like him. I don't like being around him. And here's a day that I get to celebrate. I'm 42 man.

I was in Juve Hall. I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be dead. I was a drug addict alcoholic at 15. I was supposed to be in jail or dead. And here I am happily married, having my son with a dream comedy career that I've always dreamed about. And it's like, and now I'm gonna go home to my house that I grew up in, and my family's gonna meet my kid. And that's like a moment. And my mother made it about her. She invited this guy and didn't ask me.

Because I would have said no. That's why she did it. I know she did. That's why she knew I wouldn't like it. She knows I don't like it. I'm like being around him. So she made it about her. And there's no going back.

There's no apologies. She's never gonna say I was wrong. She's never, you know what I mean? And then when we talk about it, it's just manipulation after manipulation. And even today, we'll look at it. If you don't like it, somebody, we will not have met the party.

And then any party, so I'm like, good, thanks. That was that's okay, great. But she goes, and any other party we have, we'll run the guest list by you. You gotta stand. It's like you fucking asshole. You know, fuck you. Thank you.

What are you supposed to do with that? You're a six year old woman. You're a six year old woman. I've been doing this my whole fucking life with you. You did it to my sister. There's me and my sister both in therapy. And then my other brother and sister who had my father Larry their whole lives

great kids perfect what's the common denominator Larry wasn't there right what's a denominator denominator fuck your dude comedy podcasts I didn't say anything I don't know anything. Stop touching my chest. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop touching my chest. Stop touching my chest.

Stop touching my chest. Enough. You paid the bottle at me. I don't give a shit. Fucking keep hitting my chest. Anyways, I understand what you're saying. I left it like this. First of all, and this is to kill me.

As I never said to uninvited him, I never said he couldn't go. I said, this blows that you like this. First one, and this is to kill me. As I never said to uninvited him, I never said he couldn't go. I said, I'm this blows that you did this. It just made me mad you did this. Then last night, then I'll uninvited him. She did all this shit. Made everybody unhappy. The drama queen thing, like I'll do this.

I'll make sure he doesn't come. Check all this shit. No, no, no, I'll uninvited him. And I won't go eat all this shit. And everybody's like calling me like, what the fuck dude? It's just a guy. Why, I, I'll hide him and I won't go eat all this shit and everybody's like calling me like what the fuck dude It's just a guy like I never said not bring him. I never she said that And now he's not coming which is good. I'm fine. You won

Still drama in it. My sister calls me too. You know my sister. I I Give I can't tell you how much credit I give this girl you understand we grew up with this abusive father for five years And I he used to call her fat and stupid all the time We're in the from the first to the sixth grade Fat stupid fucking idiot for nothing. She was late or she would came downstairs late or You know she didn't eat all her dinner or something or she was still hungry after what do you just say that's oh no self worth doing on her this guy was a motherfucker and he ruined he fucked me up but what I did is I learned anger I learned rage my sister didn't have that she

was a girl she learned how to hate herself she learned how to fucking hate herself and to go inward She learned how to fucking hate herself and to go inward and not and you know, just be socially awkward, you know, and not know what to do. We never had a father, we never had a fucking mother to be that mouth, say it this motherfucker around the yard. I learned how to get a knife and be as angry as I possibly can and try to kill him. And that scared the monster away. That scared him one day. And that's where I learned rage and anger. And that's what I'm trying to get out of my life now, because I refuse to pass it to my kid. I refuse to pass anger and rage and because all of it is his fear. And I'm not giving that to my kid. I'd rather have my kid cry than to fucking get mad. It's not happening. But my sister, I'm talking to her today at lunch.

She's just like, Bob, you're all I have. She's because you're the only person that I can say, I feel sad or lonely, I hate myself, and I don't have to explain why. You know why. You know why. I'm a sitting there and letting my sister, we do apologize to each other because we didn't help each other. I had to go and survive. She went and went her way and went to survive and we left each other when we both needed somebody We had to leave each other as kids because we were gonna die And I remember sitting at the table while he was yelling at her corner of fatso idiot

Just she's crying and I just sat there and what because I didn't want him to hit me I just didn't want him to come in me. I'm in the second grade. The third grade, the fourth grade. And I remember getting punched in the face by this guy in fifth grade. Knocked down the flight of stairs for whatever. Fifth grade, go look at a fifth grade there. I want you to go to and Google fifth grade.

My daughter's fifth-grader, so I know I've seen the... Imagine Punchinger in the face. Yeah, that's the second of the industry saying it. Just saying it. Punchinger is six foot four. Man. Yep. Punching a fifth-grader in the face. Okay, what a size. How about kicking a second grader in the stomach down to fly to stairs? Get a second grader, a third grader, and call her a fatso. Call her an idiot. Call her a fatso, you're a dumb idiot.

Get the fuck out here. And then when she cries, oh little baby, stop being a baby, you fatso, you eat too much. To do that to a third grader, watch that. And this bitch, and my mod don the Y, we're fucked up. What are you in there? You were there. You saw it.

And you don't have any empathy, you have no, you can't just say, hey, I'm fuck guys. Just can't we just forget about it? No. You guys became the two personalities that come out of all those scenarios. We can't forget. We can't forget. And a fear fear and that's what it is either one hides and doesn't afraid to be somebody and all the one everything is higher low. You can't do anything in

between. So my so my sister graduated college at 46. Belly, all this amazing. She should have done it when she was fucking 19, 20, 21. She should have done it back then. She went and had a baby and she took care of her responsibilities. She's lived in a fucking, the projects in Marblehead for her whole life. She's been on Section 8 because she had to. She's always had a job and that she stepped back in and went and fucking worked her ass off and did this. Because she's no dumb.

You don't even fuck off. I mean, that's basically what it's saying. What's that? Her graduating saying, I'm not a dummy, fuck you. I mean, that's really what that is. I'm somebody. Yeah. I can do this.

I never thought it was anybody, but I'm really smart. I'm really smart. I am a, I'm not dumb. I'm not a fucking dummy. I'm really smart. That's what that's saying. That's what tomorrow represents. So my sister calls me out, but she's like, I'm really smart. That's what that's saying. That's what tomorrow represents. So my sister calls me out and she's like, I don't, I don't care. I just

want to, this is, I just want to have a good time tomorrow. You're the only one that gets me. You know, you're, I'm, she, my sister said, you're on my family. It's just me and you. And I feel that way. But now I have my wife and my kid. That's, you know what I mean? I went and started my own family way out in New York and killed myself to get a house for my wife. All the stuff that I do. This podcast every fucking way. Everything I do is for my family.

You know, because I didn't have one. I love my father. I love my baby brother. I love my baby sister. I love my mother. I do. I'm not gonna sit here and say I don't because my mother's done amazing shit for me. She's hot, but but

she's her own every picture he just built of this person. I had thrown on him the train in my head. You can't make her hot now. She's hot. But you're sister on your, you're just a back you up. Like when you say you're sister get you, she gets you and you get her. Yeah, when you said I don't want Neil there, she's like, listen, I don't hate him but I get it.

She said, look, my mother asked at least like this, my sister, I was thinking about Neil, you call, she was like, yeah, sure. She doesn't hate, you know, okay, fine. But if she said, Bobby doesn't want him there, she'd be like, okay, I get it. Your sister, the way the sister was brought, yeah, sure. She doesn't hate, you know, okay, fine. But if she said, Bobby doesn't want him there, she'd be like, okay, I get it. Your sister, the way your sister was brought up is, her main thing is I just want everyone to be happy.

I don't want any yelling, I don't want any fighting, just whatever, just. It's funny too, is that I blocked a lot of guys this week when I did the Food Network show. You know, they were like, dude, you're gonna fucking, that's the show. I don't wanna watch this show, that's the show, because I'm eating a lot in the show and I'm overweight.

And they go, what are you doing, dude? Stop doing that, or leave the fucking show. Honest to God. You just stop doing your shit, leave. It is not me, it's your fucking step-damp, it's your yelling at me. I don't give a shit. My leg hurts, my apple a little bit on me, I'm sure. So I'm struggling with it, go deal at me. I don't give a shit. I fucking my leg hurts. My I have a little bit of knee issue.

So I'm so deal with it. Go deal with it. I'm stretching my leg. Go stretch several rouse. Because I'm talking. We're all talking. And you're fucking everybody's looking at you. You're like a twad in the front row on a cell phone.

You're doing what he's mulleted to him. He's brought it out. You're taking his attention away. You're representing my step-father. Just be present, stupid. I'm present. You know, you have to fucking the tension span of a fucking mat. How much of a stoner Lewis is? He's like the tension. Did you get high? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, it would be twitching. So what was I saying? Oh, did you get high? All food network, all

that stuff. Well, here's a thing is that I got all these things. The shows on, I have a show that's on TV. That could be a gig that's just amazing for my family. That's amazing shit. It's a miracle to get on a TV show that actually goes. It's on TV and everybody's like, oh, that's going to be this show your son's going to watch because you die.

You're going to be like Patrice and fucking it's like are you guys I'm like are you first of all? I I'm overweight. I don't have diabetes. I don't have a hard issue. I don't have any problems I'm obese. No, I'm not I'm not I can't even get lap band surgery if I tried I'm just overweight, but you guys are such fucking shit asshole I'm just overweight, but you guys are such fucking shit asshole, non-funny motherfuckers that you're bringing up your fat one guy He goes you're just a fat fuck. Oh, how am I supposed to find that funny It is mind though hilarious. I mean that asshole says that he thinks You all right goodbye and then I do I blocked a bunch of people and then some comic some twat comic goes

She's pretty sensitive for a comedian Blocked that fucking asshole Was a comic some shithead somewhere. I don't know you said comedian under his thing. Oh It's like comedian so-and-so You know what I would say Bobby you can't get hard to see this without a heart I don't like that you Oh, I don't like you're clipping today Kick me already today. He yelled at me because my knee hurts

No, you need it's not that is that you're fucking doing your weird shit getting it. You want attention on you? No, I don't miss I'm just connecting from the conversation because my mom hit me too. And it bothers me. No, mom's dead. I wish for it. And now I regret it. Why? Why? I just don't want to look at Lewis's sausage toast anymore. Look at your fucking fucking flip flop. Jesus Christ. You're not yelling at me, you're yelling at your mother right now Mom, you're pussy with so much No, it was my mother's pussy We can't see her fat pussy, we can see her dick the whole time Look, all right, maybe I'm looking, here's the thing

Is that it just bugs me, this whole fucking thing All of my mom had to do is go, is it cool if this guy comes I go no, not this time. But you already know it's not cool anyway though. Even the ask it, she already know you've established. This is what, you don't like the guy. What is it? She's secretly cool with all this stuff.

In a white style. They're mothers, they can do whatever they want. And this is what I knew she goes, she mumbled that she goes, and Niel's coming with us tomorrow in our car. I went, what? Yeah. You're gonna look at man.

I go, just be honest, you knew it was gonna bother me. I didn't, it's like fuck you. You're never gonna win. You can't beat crazy. No, there's no Trump in crazy. In any way, it's a... She can't beat it. There's nothing, all you can do is not engage.

Learn how to disengage. I engage, man. I love the crazy. It's possible, you have to ignore the crazy. You have to disengage. I engage, man. You think you're the crazy. It's impossible. You have to ignore the crazy. I like to engage. I love to philosophize. I love to beat a phony. I love to have dialogue with a phony and catch you being phony. I love getting people passive-aggressive. What the fuck does that? I love beating somebody down until they have to leave or fucking hang the phone up because I caught you in every fucking angle.

I fucking shut the door on every hunk of fucking shit. Bullshit, you tried to pull at me and I have a memory. I have a photographic memory when it comes to bullshit. And I love doing that. Pussy goes assholes, we'll say one thing and in two months later come back a different way like asshole two months ago You don't fucking talk about my mother like that. You understand me Only you can You're right. She's a hot sexy woman who is amazing in the bedroom. You know featured tonight is Neil

By the way, we brought Neil to copies. He's a feature tonight. You're gonna all you know Is that the guy that you hate? Oh shit. Oh, yeah, never am. No, no, I'm like, who the fuck? He just comics will fucking throw nine extra dudes on the show. Oh, I'm down. Oh, shit. Did he just fucking blows Kelly for SIRG out of the water? Neil just kills it. No, that's what. What? What? I didn't. We do want it. Oh, I'm sorry. No, do it again. oh Do it again do it again. I just blow scuttle for sir Oh, this is so good Greetings to be awesome. He gives out kidneys to every show it's like

Close we'll give it someone a kidney He's selling kidneys at that back He's out of a wallet look I get the kidney then Wallet a I'm telling kidneys at that back. Kidneys out of a wallet. Look, I get the kidney then. Kidneys out of a wallet. A flat-speed kidney. The only wallet is good. Oh, boy. Well, look, I get it.

I understand. I respect their relationship, respect mine. And you don't need to know why I don't fucking like the guy. You know what I mean? And then if I tell you, it's not good enough for you. Why I don't like it? It was You know what I mean? And then if I tell you, just, oh, it's not good enough for you. Why I don't like it? It was not good enough for you. Fuck off.

It's just the way it is. But you know, and I gotta go there tomorrow. I gotta go to my family's house. My, you know, I love my family too. I got a great family. I really do. It's just I had a fucked up family when I was a kid. I wish I lived with my uncles and my aunts,

like I did when I was real young. I would have been great. Or if this stepdad Larry, who's amazing, came in, and I never had that second guy, I'd be a different guy. I'd be a way better person. Larry, my God, my younger brother, I hope my son grows up to be like him. What a fucking, just a hard work and good dude yeah he drinks he smokes some weed but he

gets up and goes to work and he works all fucking day and he comes home and he's low key but he's funny he's got confidence and I just it's like what it's shit what he also is doing it's my little sister to my my you know from them she's confident she's confident. She's cool She's funny. She's getting married. She's having a baby. It's like I look at these two and I'm like wow If I had that if he was there Fuck four years earlier My whole life would be different my whole

You know, but you might not be a comic you might not have you might not have Unfortunately, that's what built you to be you know, it's all it's all like ingredients, dude All the bullshit and all the fucked up shit that we have in our lives. It makes us who we are. And I'm a firm believer in like the whole butterfly effect shit. Like you turned left one day when you were a kid. You life wouldn't be here.

You wouldn't get all the shit you're right now. You know how much I give fucking $10 million billion to not be with you right now. The comics. To be in a fucking suburbs. For the great job. in a fucking suburbs, with a great job, and a fucking retirement, a full one K, two cars.

I'm sitting with fucking a Puerto Rican in shorts, and a fucking shitty Australian, a bald guy I just met. I know as finger fuck girls way too young. I got fucking Led Zeppelin and the serial killer staring at me. I would fucking take that right. If I took that left to become a comic, I would have took that right to become a fucking stockbroker.

Fuck you, Lewis. Now my mic's the way for the rest of the show. Good. Good, I don't want to use it. I don't want to use it. You say the word butterfly effect again. It's the other one, density. Density, denominator.

I would unbord the butterfly effect, that was like, fuck. I believe in that shit. I didn't like the hand, you actually drew a butterfly in the air. With this hand, butterfly effect. I started doing the movement. What do you believe in, Lewis? No, I believe. Besides fucking hate.

Rape here. Oh, I believe in the rape effect. I believe in the rape effect. I love the rape effect. You rape a girl and then you stare at her in the car. There is a fact. So then you make her say, it wasn't you, just with the stare. It's called the rape effect.

I hope one of those bloggers are listening right now, and they fucking ruin your career. You have to go work at home depot like the other Puerto Ricans outside. I hope everyone's career now, though. You're home for the rape vlogger. You get to be proud of them, man. Fuck you. I'll be a Montreal this year. You're homebeat for the rape vloggers. You get TV credits out of that man. Fuck you. That'd be a Montreal this year. You may have had this next comic who got blogged about about rape. Give it up. The blood of fly. The blood of fly rapist.

The blood of fly rapist is the best name for you. Rapist can't get up. Louis Shade, go ahead. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no rapes. I'm going to call it the statutory ape. Louis Shiggum is the statutory ape. I'm so used to it. I'm fucking dance per cell. I understand what you're saying though. I wouldn't be a comic now. But I don't, I don't, Jesus Christ.

No, but it sucks that you have to go through that to do that thing. It's so funny that people, you know, I want to be a comic, how do you be a comic? I don't know, get abused as a child. Go back and see the real things in life at this passing over. Go back in time and have everything taken away from you. Whenever I made a comic who had a really good life, like, yeah, my parents together, I tell them,

I'll be telling them I loved them since I was, you know, I can remember, I went to school, I never trust those comics. No, they're, they're like, they're those little, they're like, they're smart comics. They're like, No, there, there's, there's, there's those little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little I was a kid when I was in the third grade but I was funny because I needed to escape from fucking my shit life. I was funny and I got a tension with my everybody and I was a kid that would stand on top of the lunch table

and you know, just try to be ridiculous. Specifically to escape something. The kids who are well adjusted, they never had to truly be funny. It's not that they can't be good comics. It's a lot of really good comics that are smart and they get what fun he is. They say learn. Look, Anthony Jessen that is, he learned how to be funny. He read a book

and learn set a punch tag and then added his, he learned delivery, he learned how to make it seem fun. But he's developed a kind of a character to go around that which is loosely based around his dickhead character in life. But he and he does, you know, it's a pretty amazing, and look at John Malaney, you know, I'm sure he, I don't think he had a crazy, doesn't seem that too dysfunctional, but he's one of the funniest guys walking, so. And you don't necessarily have to be completely dysfunctional,

it could be something else, dude, it could be used in, maybe you have a great life, but maybe your dad wasn't there, you needed some attention from fucking people, so that's where you learn to be funny. You know, you don't need to get beaten or fucking have an abusive past to be really good, but it helps.

Probably makes it happen. Yeah, but it does help. The less station does help. Like if you're a little girl and you were told by the time like when you're five years old, you have to start drinking dot coke because you're when you get older, you get fat. That's gonna have an effect on you.

You're still looking at soda, there's shitty parents. Like why are you going diagonally? I listen to me Well, I want to talk to Dan for a second. I still yeah, okay Those offer anything because he's listening man What do you know we want to force him to talk about fucking shitty fucking childhood? Did you have a shitty childhood dad? No? No, you did not.

No, you're all a bunch of losers. Dan's like, I would give up funny for my well adjusted awesome life and good family. I would give up this dream gig at comics with Kelly Vistuker and Louis J. Gomez splitting wet fucking wraps in his room to have a well adjusted good family. Fucking asshole. Now, Kelly told me me that you the first time you came here was when? It was not to see you was that the story that you told him no you didn't you tell me that you came here because you were fan of comic

I don't want to hear it. Yes. No, this is a different story He's got sir damn Come on over the show This is the first time you saw it. Anyways, this is a different story. Me and my buddy came to see you. We were sitting on the couch in the front row. We were dressed pretty similarly. We looked similar. And the entire time throughout the show,

we were dubbed the serial killer twins, which I found interesting, because when we were chilling on the podcast the other day, I was instantly dubbed the serial killer. You know why you have a serial killer? So we were talking about it. It's because I shaved my hand. You know, it's because you're all shiver.

We're not kids. And now you have no, no, no, you have a, you have like serial killers in movies, not in life, but like American Psycho. You know, there's a couple that the way they look like perfect little white men. You know, when you have those beady fucking shark eyes that roll back in your head as you slice a woman's neck. As you do it quietly, you asshole. You got to fucking quietly, you asshole. You're gonna fucking high seat everybody.

Is that really, is that from your friends? They don't like you. They really not fancy yours. Hi guys, how you doing? But anyways, that's why you look like a serial killer. But not a real serial killer, but like a, like a B movie serial killer. All right, so what was the story?

So you came to my show here. That was it, that was an amazing story. And then you got a serial killer. I'll say that. All right. So what was the story? So you came to my show here. That was it. That was an amazing story. And then you got a job here. Yes. I used to come here all the time, probably like three, four times a week and just became friends with Mike, getting the owner, getting drunk after the show.

And then I just asked them if they had any openings and they hired me. And now you're pretty much the muscle here, right? That's it. Right? And I wouldn't fuck with him. I don't fuck with you. You would? and they hired me. And now you pretty much the muscle here, right? Right? Right? And I wouldn't fuck with him. I don't fuck with, I don't fuck you would?

Well I know, I'm sorry I would fuck with him. Oh really, he's not that tough? No, no, he gets bad if he wouldn't fuck with me. I'll choke, but that's about it. Damn the death, are you fucking kidding me? You were fucking tiny, damn. You were fucking tiny, damn. First of all, you know you have, you have,

I've just had my third kid shoulders. It's not defined, it's just a ball, but just a round, but not that, you stretch my pink. It's too big. It's not even sexy big, they're just tree trunks. It really does, he has the fight. Falsow. You have lesbian armpits.

It's dead, you know. Look at this, that's so nice. Look at their round shoulder. It goes from your shoulder down to your elbow. It's like a hail. Yeah, it is. It's prosciutto. You have a, your arm looks like a piece of prosciutto. That's easy and hungry. Man, you were serving a stretch marks on your arm.

Yeah, Kelly, it's called, you don't want to get stretched marks from what you wait. Try it. Shit. Why do you so mean to fucking pillow body? She's making fun of my? She's making fun of my She's making fun of my shreds I want to put Kelly between my legs when I sleep Oh you waking up so rested my back

I want to wrap Kelly around my neck on an airplane What does that make? Dude I'm so listening Look dude don't get mad at me Alright try it again try it again Tell her I'm not gonna an airplane. Shit! Oh my god! Oh it's not fun!

I'm sorry. I don't care if it's fake. Of course you don't. I'm the only one who has to be a real ass dude in the room. You guys can all be fake all day long. I just got a picture of my wife and kid, huh? Dude, it better be your dick that you show me right now. Look at that. look at that.

Oh. Oh, look at his hand in the air. Oh my god, he looks so much like Kurt Madsker. My kid looks like a muppet on fucking weed. Why'd I add on weed? Fucking suck. All right, so this was a good weekend. I'm glad I brought you guys out.

I have been on the road with comics that I know for a long time. I think the last time was when you came with me to levity line. I said I'm gonna say that. Then he vowed it would never happen again after you watched your set. No, she actually, same thing happened at levity live. The first night, she's working, look, Kelly's working in these shit rooms. There's fucking four people at 5.30. Birds of chirping. Kids are getting out of school and Kelly's doing her first set. You know what I mean? And then she comes here. It's a real, there's lights.

And she's like, he's not a dude with a flashlight in the back. People call me ma'am. What are you doing? Yeah, so. And then, obviously, and Casino gigs are hard, man. These people are here already. And they got some type of comp or ticket. And they come in, they're some type of comp or ticket and they

come in they're they they they just ate oh they were going drinking or they want to go gamble and it's like let's stop here and let's get the fuck out and go do something else half the room is never seen a fucking comedy show absolutely so the fact that you know she's not getting boot off stage is actually uh sweetie it's okay, but shut the fuck up. Listen. She's the one with the nice titties. Um, yeah, she's hot.

Anyways, what's that? What? The chick's hot. She's hot? Yeah. Why are you whispering into a microphone? Because it was, That's so fucking retarded.

They want to hear a microphone. She doesn't hear you. The band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bob, but she's talking to the fans. Oh, I know. Don't just worry. Louis Flex is a great way of saying it. You guys brought, you. Yeah, yeah, but she's talking to the fans You brought we done yeah, Edibles see what Edibles. Oh, what about me? I've been so both the 30 years What do I get you want to eat them? Yeah, how are you? I'm real no, what is that that has weed? No, I don't want no Do you want to care about without

No, I don't want no, do you want to care about without We didn't buy surprise But you want to care about without weed can you not can you not talk like your wizard I can't help you with your surprise Here precisely Jesus Christ Kelly Amazing Jesus Christ Kelly What are you? Good looking guy what are you talking about? He's young De Niro

Wow, Shetty has muppet eyebrows. No, he's looking dude, but he's like fucking seven feet tall and then his chick is crazy high and she's like three feet tall That's where you were like a bell buckle. It's fucking fun. She wasn't three feet tall. She smoked weed That's what happens to you. Edibles she used to be 5'8. Now she's 4'2. She shrunk. Yeah, she shrunk like a fan, anyways.

All right, listen. Bobby hasn't smoked parts for 16th of the ad. He said, where's the bin? That wasn't a bomb. That was a fucking flat tire. I ran out of gas on that one at the end. Throughout smalls coming. Four hours later, the helicopter.

Listen, um, all right, we're gonna wrap this up because I'm looking at Dan's face and he hasn't laughed in around fucking 20 minutes. He's just staring at me like he wants to eat my liver. And then, uh, let Zeppelin fucking face is, uh, he's got a role. He's what? He's a confused, the young kid in that movie.

Yeah, he does. Not the Washington man. He looks like actually a woman that became a man Yeah, dude. I want to shave his facial hair His bear is like the cool I'm gonna cycle Jimmy see Jimmy's either one. We've just been a man for like six years But she still doesn't the facial hair still popping in yeah, you have like a woman that became a man facial hair. How old are you? I'm 24 you're 24 24. So that's it. You're dumb. That's what you got.

That's the best. That's my dad tells me that he started growing sideburns when he was 30. No shit. I feel like that's bullshit. That seems really weird, but who the fuck knows? I just want you to say I want to shave my entire life. I want to shave your facial hair and fuck your mouth. That's what I want to do. Lewis, what the fuck is that? mean say a joke don't just fucking attack people with your thoughts I'm on the honest moment What a fuck is mouth Three musketeer with AIDS in the mouth Yeah, I got to lay down some tracks.

All right, here's a deal. I got to go wash my balls from this fucking work out I did. Gomez diet. Gomez? It's not a diet. It's a workout. A diet. What do I do, yes?

I mean, you ask for a bangle. What do I do? I don't know what you do. But you know what, rap. Yeah, you probably have, you bought me a, you bought me a self-western rap from a, a fucking bodega in the East Village. And it was my when I grabbed it and I took it out of my hand. My my fingerprints were in the wrap like my hand print it forms it.

It was. It was this what a fucking gross me out melted and non-melted cheese. That means it melted. It melts it's in the car. Did I say something right there? I took a bite and it was half melted, half non-melted cheese. And then I think chicken, and then I maybe green corn, is green corn, is that real? There's no green corn. That's like,

it was like corn, the edible, like a Thanksgiving dish, like the different colors, and fucking awful. So you guys are fans of the podcast. What's your name, man? Joe, and your name? And you guys, a husband and wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. That's awesome. And you're into weed, edibles.

And you're into, I'm for marijuana, by the way. It's the one drug that I really bummed out because of the rules of a, that I can't have. Loopers. When I always had weed, man, I had such a great time. And I smoked pot back when you had to smoke the plant. You had to smoke an ounce to get high. Like they pulled the tree up, hung it in the closet, and then you fucking smoked it.

But you guys are smoking some serious good shit. Really? Where do you do that? You have a backyard or a farm? He's wearing outfits. I love it. You know it's legal when he calls it an operation. I have a, you have a farm or a back,

I have an operation. You're like your own Mexican stuff. The Santa Fe flag, you can please. All right, all right. Well, I don't want to get to it because I don't want people to, but so yeah, it's all legit and you got, you make a good living off of it.

No, no, so you just do it out of the fucking love. I'm doing this. You're like, I grow weed hat on. Yeah, well, I don't know why, don't yell at me, you you just do it out of the fucking love Well, I don't know why don't you don't yell at me you just thought of it too No, you don't we hear you perfectly don't give them the mic so you you do these What explain explain what you do I Grow cannabis for patients that I have so I quote unquote patients unquote, patients. I have a quadriplegic body. What? Okay.

So what does it do for him? He's got off. All his narcotics and he's got off methadone. Oh no, shit. And why was he on all these narcotics? Because he's quadriplegic. He was in a car accident. But he can't feel it.

There's still a lot of people. I really want to ask these questions. Can he feel pain? No. He's got like a constant burning on his body. He's got, you know, you I really want to ask these questions. Can he feel pain? No. He's got like a constant burning on his body. He's got, you know. You have phantom pain when he leaves his place. Let him finish the fucking thing.

Glad. Phantom pain. Yeah, you have phantom pain in his body? Yeah. What do you mean, phantom pain? I'm not a quadruplegic, so I really can't explain it well. I just, I know what it is. So this marijuana, he would go on drugs and all this other stuff

because of His pain yep, and you put them on weed to get off of the narcotic and he's totally off of it It just smokes marijuana smokes it eats it. What about the cancer factor? Can you get cancer from marijuana like cigarettes? No, I don't I don't think so really I don't believe so I don't think they have there's no conclusive studies on it Well, they can't be conclusive studies because it's not legalized to be studied so do you want you want marijuana to be legal that be great and the hampshire their legalizing i heard

i i i haven't heard that i heard that they're going to make it illegal across the board to be fun not just for growers i heard they're going to try to legalize it you can smoke with that's it we just legal it should i mean it's already like that into other states so right so when we want what states can you just smoke weed in the beginning to medicare you're gonna move all righto calorado and washington really you know you you there's no medical thing you could just buy weed have weed smoke weed no problem that's what they say I

haven't been there but it just that's what just passed on the last election it's not like a weird like gray area area though where like fucking the federal government can like supersede the local government's rules? And that's where all the problems are. And all it is is gray area. So they pretty much can come down on whoever they want. Well here's when you, but you're in it right now, but when they do legalize it in Rhode Island or in Massachusetts or whatever in this area.

You're going to be ahead of the game because when they legalize it and they start taxing it, you're going to make a lot of money. Yeah, but in my state, Rhode Island, one of the most corrupt in the union, it's all you know. That's strip clubs, though. Maybe. I don't know. Absolutely true.

All right. She is. Go ahead. As far as opening up a spot, you know, it's all who you know, and I don't know the right people. I don't know any politics. That's a fucking confidence. Jesus Christ. Maybe you know, I don't. I don't sell yourself a Kelly for stuka. Jesus. All right. Well, I like that one. No one else did. So the Phantom Junker. Well, I just don't see that happening. So, do you make these brownies and lullipops?

I mean, those wife does, obviously. No, she doesn't. You have a job job. You're a nurse. I grow and I process and I bake it. You're like a nurse or something, right? That's right, tech. That's right, tech. She's like, you can tell, you look like the lead on the glades.

You can see that, Joe. Watch that, Joe. She's like a weed nurse. She comes tell, you look like the lead on the glades. You ever see that show? Watch that show, you look like a weird nurse. She comes out with like a fucking weed hell hat on, like fucking skates out and rollerblades and gives you a weed lollipop and skates back in. Yeah, keep going. Yeah. Anyways, don't get mad at me. I'm making you mad at me.

So you make all the stuff in your own kitchen or in your operation. In my operation. And you sell, what do you sell? What can we buy from you? I don't sell anything. You give away. Yeah.

We're great. We're great. We're great. We're great. Okay. That's great. So you give people that need this stuff. Only my patients who are assigned to me.

Right. So you have patients that are assigned to you and you make sure that they get what they need. They're always stocked. That's great. And they don't pay a dime because well, my quadplegic patient who was my one of my best friends growing up He can't work obviously. Yeah, so I mean it's just wrong He could if you if you you know if you had heart he could If he was a little motivated he can get something going but I need you to look here and then look over there real quick

and then look over there real quick. Spacinus. Spacinus. Spacinus. I want you to go right and then left. Go. You got a good job. You're a good job. That's right.

So. But he could do a job though. He could actually be like, he could actually go and you know they have people watch TV shows to see if they like it. He could do that. Where can he move his neck? Yeah, he can move his neck. He can kind of move his shoulder. So with that, he can throw his arm around,

which gives him the ability to. Which freaks everybody out. Yeah. And it lets him play with an iPad or whatever. Really? Because he can just move like that. No shit, but they're actually coming out with stuff for paralyzed people where they're going to use their brain

to control computers. And they got like mouthpiece. Yeah, and they're gonna Control they have stuff where you can attack What the fuck is it? Let me get it right It's basically a skeleton a mechanical skill like an iron man suit that Ecto skeleton. What is it? Exoskeleton. What you said it?

Ecto skeleton. What is it? Exoskeleton. What you said it? Exoskeleton. Say it again. Exoskeleton. I can't say. I can't say Florentapist either. Like Ecto cool or high. That's why I didn't want to say because then I knew he'd say it wrong and we both say it wrong And I have to take his word so then you said it. Doctor Lewis. Doctor Lewis. Anyways, I'm a fucking idiot shit. I love that I'm an idiot, but at least I stopped myself and you and ex-go skeleton You gotta I said it right. I said it nice. I had to go Hecto acto, you actually said it this Spanish way

Hecto play Hecto's Galady Hectore's my cousin. I don't think it'll be getting a Hectore skeleton because He's getting most of his care from the VA. Right, okay. So I don't, he doesn't really have the mean stuff. So, but is he happier now since he's up with you? Absolutely, he was pretty much a zombie. Oh man, that's great.

So, that's off a weed, which is from the fucking ground. Yep, and the biggest thing was getting him off the methadone, which was probably the hardest part. I took about a year to go for the 80 milligrams a day to nothing. And my mom was on methadone. Yeah, fuck the good happener happened I heard we um she died I know a slow painful death. Well, she had addables if she had a double she knew this guy It would have been she would have been up. You could have saved my mom's life Joe. Yep God, where were you this podcast would have been started earlier. Yeah, we should have started a long time ago

Sorry, dude Sorry, you should have started a long time ago. Sorry, dude. Sorry, you could have saved us. I feel bad. No, I really do feel bad. Because my mom, we talked about my mom, I feel bad. Yeah, you're bitching about your mom. Why don't you have a mom, you fucking asshole. Yeah, but I'd rather have your mom. You're having my mom? Yeah, your mom didn't pass on any shitty stuff to you. Are you kidding me? Did she really? Did you know you were talking about the clothes, fists?

Yeah. That was my mom. At least it was a guy who wasn't your blood who shouldn't have loved you. My mom was doing that shit. She fucking showed up me. She was the saddest thing in the world. I was forward to, I remember.

Why are you waiting? Why are you waiting for an hour and 20 and to be funny and fucking honest? Did a fine knock over a couple of milk, my mom would close this, punch me inside of there. That's because it took her fucking 40 minutes to milk it out of a goat. Did she have a monkey fist?

Jesus, that was bad. She didn't have a monkey fist, but lucky. Good fucking memory, my friend. So that's cool, man. So, oh, well, thank you for coming down. Are you going on the show tonight? Absolutely. Which one you're going to?

Eight o'clock. Eight o'clock show. That's good. And then later on, it's the nasty show, which is pretty much the eight o'clock show. We just added this asshole. Yeah, it's, I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna add a couple more fucks and talk about the inside of a wet pussy for eight

minutes. Nice. But, yeah, the eight o'clock show is going to be good. Hi, man, way from Rhode Island, right? Yep. Alright, cool, man. Oh, I appreciate you listening to the show and thanks for coming down to see you in this show. We'll, let's hook him up with a poster.

We'll give you a really good poster that Howard Porter, a famous Marvel comic book, Marvel comic book artist, did for us. Sweet. And we charge everyone on 40, we'll give it to 25. All right. We'll give it to him for 20. 20? 20.

Hang on. Oh God. I think I just shit my pants. I'm going to wrap this up, man. I want to thank you guys. No, really? For free, by the way. Don't let the fans think we're actually charging him.

Yeah. Who cares? You think people, do you think people are going be like, how am I, did you really, who gives a fuck? I can't listen to this show anymore. It's far more than you're out there. I'm not gonna give this a weird outta bulls. I don't wanna fucking,

maybe even more people that know who's doing that, you fucking just said it. Yeah, but he didn't say it on air. He did. He said he has clients. I'm a client. You know what, you know you're a client of fucking dumbville. You're an idiot.

Shut up. Not only am I tapping your toes Because you're doing fucking a cycle. All right. You're broided out rounded shoulder fatso All right, I want to thank you guys. What's your name again Joe? Joe and Lindsay great name your wife is gorgeous. Yeah, fucking great for you Joe. All right enough What just shut up? I said she, fucking crazy for you Joe. All right, enough. What? Just shut up. I said she's fucking smoking off. Shut up with, all right, we get it.

You're making everybody uncomfortable. I've been around Kelly for three days. I'm around a beautiful woman. That's amazing. Stop you making me, stop swearing when you just fucking fucking beautiful broad. Shut up. Kelly, it's beautiful.

Kelly's beautiful. Lindsey. Really? Lindsey's at glaucoma, that's how she met Joe. Shut up Tell these beautiful in the really Lindsay's not go coma that's actually my Joe All right relax. Thanks for ruining the show, dude All right, I'm gonna thank Dan from comics who help put this whole thing together I want to thank Led Zeppelin face a K.A. Car this whole thing together. I want to thank Led Zeppelin Face, aka Carl. Carl. Carl. For producing the show. For us, man, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Oh, my fucking arm. I can't lift my arm. If I can't feed my baby because you're a

stupid workout, I'm going to kill you. You want to stand that stretched? You can't feed yourself. Pat Oats. You got a website dude? Facebook I'm glad you really care about your career Pat oats on Facebook all right fucking pat oats. He's on the show tonight, man I'm I hope you're funny you're funny you if I know you I know you're funny I already know you funny dude. I can tell you I can tell you're a funny guy. So Kelly I can tell you're a funny guy. So Kelly, Fistuka, not funny. Yeah, right.

Shut up idiot. What? I am funny. Don't look at me with that bold head. All right, that's what you can visit Kelly. And you can visit me. Yo, you're a restless, restless, I can't speak, fuck it. Restless.

Restless legs syndrome. I can't speak, dude. I'm tired. I got to take a nap. You're napping? I got a nap. Yeah. I got a nap and jerk off and take a show here. Take a cookie.

Dude, would that put me out? All right. Yeah. All right, if I had a cookie, would I be just out? If you eat a cookie, can I get a refund for tonight's show? Oh, not. Why it would be done. I'd be just out. Really? No. Don't listen to her. She's got it. Try to scare me.

I mean, she's got a bad knee, so she might be right. I'm okay. Lewis, you need to eat a cookie before the show. Yeah. You need to buy. I just snort these caromoles, but I'm not eating the cookie. Tell me the cookies are crazy strong. You need to have a cookie.

Maybe for the, maybe for the nasty show. Oh, God. I just love to see you fall asleep on stage. Dude, I did. We did a live Legion of Skanks podcast, and it was the first time I smoked Weed in two months, I quit for two months, and I literally fell asleep on the stage. That picture was...

So did in the audience. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and on Facebook? Yeah, man, this is actually a fun, I didn't know how this podcast was gonna go because I just, this is weird to do it here, but you guys, thanks for hooking this up and letting us yap for a little while. Make sure you check me out at robbercallylive.com. I can't say my shit. Yeah, man, go ahead.

I can't really. Yeah, you can, of course you can. But you fucking keep quippin' and tapping your stupid leg. Just spit it out. Just spit it out. You guys, Kelly, yes, you visit me on my new website, realastude.com. You don't have a website called realastude.com. Go to realastude.com. I'm going to. Are you kidding me? You got realastude.com? I love you. I really do. We have a Hades Lewis Gomez and I get a lot of those letters. I don't know why. I have.

Go to the new real Astute.com. Follow me on Twitter. I'm going to see if Kelly have a more Twitter followers. I'm at 1,300 and 70. That's all you have. Tell me how many you have. I got more followers. 3,200.

I got more followers. You have the whole Eastern Seaboard because they're your medical patients. 40, 4000? You got 44,000? No, 4,000 something. 4,000, that's great. And that's just from you being you.

Just for being a real ass dude. Real ass, oh! Very island. I'm gonna sell them domain name. Really, you should. You should sell them actually, your act. Maybe you can make it better. Lewis has an act. Guys, can make it better lose hasn't act

Guys come to the inner corner. It's called acting as a comedian He acts like a comic on stage for 20 minutes tonight pick up your phone motion You know what you know? You're not gonna hurt my confidence You know the only thing that does that is a mirror Whips everybody joining them. All right You done it with your fucking promotions? And I'm guys, I'll be in LA officially. Guys?

Guys? Obviously talking directly to the fans. Guys. Guys. I'll be in Los Angeles officially starting August 1st. And he'll be officially kicked out a year from that date. He'll be coming back with his fucking tail between his legs and a happy check and a year old baby who speaks Spanish. You stink for going LA. Yeah, I'm gonna go to LA.

I'm gonna be a fresh face. You're fucking 35. You know who goes to LA 20 year olds? You're missing a tooth in the back still paying you don't go. Ah, you don't go to LA! You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and make it work. Oh shit. All right, that's it man Thanks for listening why KW dude we're gone You know what I'm getting? I'm stuck in the fog, I'm in the fog, I'm in the fog You know what I'm getting? I'm stuck in the fog, I'm stuck in the fog, I'm stuck in the fog You know what I'm getting? Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan.

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