Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - You People Movers

Episode Date: February 25, 2019

An injured Bobby returns after his spill at Mountain Creek with guests Chrissie Mayr, Mike Vecchione and Joe List! Action Park, Jussie Smollett and a heated exchange between Joe and Robert! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude, on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the playiest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a cluster of fun. It's my catch, it's no rules. It's one of the mic-ass holes. I'm sure I've already said, should I regret it? Can I get a mic or who? Oh, that was a fuck.

I was trying to keep it like a comic egg. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Can I get a microphone? Oh! That was trying to keep it like a comic egg. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no-pops. Big no-direction. I love doing it.

No! One good one. Side to the coin. That's how the host says you motherfucker. What's the deal? My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast. Unblifchast.com is popular. I might affect someone. You never know.

Okay, we're in. Do you need my phone now, sweetie? We're in the podcast is back. You know what, dude, I really can't do the dude. I am very excited to be here. I didn't think I was going to make it today. I almost didn't make it today. And then God added a snowstorm to the mix. So it was God was giving me side posts and I was ignoring them. So do you believe in God? Yeah, sorry. I think Joe, I thought it offended Joe. I wanted to take up form. I believe in my God. Yeah, yeah. Boston God. Yeah, boss. Bill Bella, check. I listen, I, I, it was a tough weekend from me, tough. I have three cracked ribs.

What did you do? Try to put on a shirt? And I heard when I laugh, I just bought what did you buy me? My and a dominole constrictor. Oh, it should have got that a long time ago. I didn't know my course is a chiropractor. So you mean spanks? No, no, it's right here. You can kind of see it. It looks like I'm wearing a boostier. Oh, see how my fat tits have mushed up. It's not a bra. It's a boostier. I got to go into those. I look like a whore in the 1600s. You're the favorite.

1600. You're the favorite. I hope you're okay with a light ribbing. I hope you like your condoms ribbed. Yeah, for our pleasure. Mike, you turn. No, we're really going after it today. I didn't bring my A game. Yeah, I'd be introduced to everybody.

Okay. That's what happens when Bobby doesn't know someone's name. It's not true. We have Chrissy Maire. Hello, we have Mike Vecchion. Yes. We have Joe. Liz. Joe, the truth list, the regular. Thank you. That's true. Gabby, you mad at me, I'm getting a vibe. No, hey, yeah, nice to see you. Call yourself a regular again to make us all feel like shit. Yeah. Well,'m a member of the podcast and you moved it to nighttime when I work, which I find hurtful. I didn't.

So we had it during the day today. Yes, you did. I appreciate it. We did. We had it during the day today. Yeah. So anyways, I got hurt this week. I got no accident. My wife, you know hurt this week. I got no one accident.

My wife, you know, Tom Cotto, yes, carry Louise. Yes. And their beautiful three young boys live near us. Yes, twins, right? Twins in a younger boy. Yeah, not identical. Uh, one is definitely better look on the other. Um, one looks like Tom one looks like carry. Um, do you not invite one of them to the barbecue?

No, good looking one can come. No, the actual good kind of little snob. We don't want him. Um, Max really bonded with the tall one. Um, no, Max loves these kids. Love they treat Max like a little brother. And my wife was like, we're going to go, there's no two of it. Me and my wife hate skiing. People who ski, we're gonna go, there's no two of it. Me and my wife hate skiing.

People who ski, we have no desire. I don't know the first guy that looked at the top of a mountain and went, hey, that'd be fun to fly down that thing. Bob skis on sticks. But it's like an, it's an upper crust type sport. It's a skin. It's not for us working class. No, it's really not Mike,

because I was at this mountain creek. And there was some, I think, almost people with skis. I mean, there was fat people with skis. There was a lot of people with skis. Hmm. I thought the impractical jokers were doing a ski tour. By the way, are you sure fear also a rich person? Yeah, skis. I ski and just broke his wrist, that's have surgery. Wow. Yeah. It's going to be a cast for months.

I can't even get mad. I'm going snowboarding this weekend. Are you rich? No. She's dead. Well, there goes that theory. Rich. No, it's not a rich sport.

It's actually you can, it is. It is, though. When you go good skiing, yes. When you go to, when you go to Jersey to a hill. Yeah You know, it's it's a little cheaper, right? Yes Anywout I don't believe in skiing. I think it's ridiculous people die from it people get injured from it It's you'll be you're gonna be hurting from it in your 60s. It doesn't make sense It doesn't make sense to buy skis to get

and then have something drag you up a hill and then flip you off and then you're supposed to go down, you know, doing pizzas. There's gotta be a reason for it. There's people get, you gotta be doing it for a reason. It's gotta be tremendously fun. You're gonna rush. Yeah, so people have fun.

Is that why you do it? Yeah, yeah, and I do it. I think because it's fuck without a condom. And it should be a big enough rush. 2019. Let it come in you that you don't know. But at least the skiers are a little heel. One of these got your husbands sitting back here. Oh, no, not yet.

Okay. I don't know. I don't want to say something offensive. I'm zero husbands and get choked out. Yeah, but he does look like you know, Kung Fu. Yeah. It's kind of an Asian mustache. He looks like the teacher. My partner ribs. It's called a sensei. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, You can sense that again. I was so hot before the mic started rolling. Yeah. That's a nice roll.

So anyways, my wife was like, you know, we'll go snow tubing. And I was like, that sounds like a fucking hoot. Yeah. I've always laid down. You know, you sit down in a tube, but you go to the thing and you, you know, I shouldn't have done it every time I get a joke and lazy man skiing. Mmm. That was the answer is no, Mike, you can't. More like snow.

This could be a heart attack. No, it's not. Yeah, we don't know what that is. Now, did you heard any organs? You're spleen. He said spleen in your Insta story, which should be winning an award. I thought it was. Insta story was incredible.

Did you say that? I don't know if I saved it. Does it save automatically? It saves automatically into your archives. Okay. Because I was following along and it was really like a motion picture and it was by far the best film you've ever made. You've made one piece of shit and one really great one. It wasn't as good as a Koala bear kid.

I don't know if I saw that one. With Billy Burr. No, I don't care to see that one. Well, we got up to this mountain and the day before my wife goes, she goes, I'm pissed. I go, why? She goes, they said to me all along that you don't need to reserve snow tubing tickets. So I went to just call today to get them and they're all out. There's no more.

They're, they're so doubt. And I'm like, this don't fly off the handle. Maybe that's what she's like punched you. No, she's not. She's all turned it ending. That would turn me on if she was the alpha. I like that too. I want to be wear the fucking tickets.

I want a lady to make me put on her shoes and lipstick and fuck me in the ass. You know what I mean? Wow. Stick me in a tube and fuck me. Yeah. One day, she told me to suck a dick and I mean, dick got hard. Yeah, that's right. I had a girlfriend.

She said, go down on me and like it. It's still the highlight of my life. Wow. I did both things. I, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, true? Can you send it to me? Are you guys walking past me? Yeah, we were late because Bobby wanted to stay cool. True story. My wife was freaking out.

The entire wedding party was waiting because Bobby's like, you don't want to be in the heat. We'll be in the air conditioning. And everyone's like, where the fuck is the groom? And I was like, I think everyone's waiting for us. And Bobby's like, it's hot out there. Why don't we just wait till seven? Ooh, who's married in there. Why don't we just wait till seven? Who's married to the double trees court yards?

People that don't fucking have award winning money making podcasts, but they don't pay any to the guests. That's who. Non skiers. Yes. I hate skiing so much. I don't even like Polish people. Skies.

That was solid. I can't throw that. Like that it was solid. It was solid. It made sense on a practical level. Just not in a gut line. Yeah, I didn't hit me in the gut. The game ends, too.

If it doesn't hurt me, it's no funny. I think that was better as a tweet. Can we tweet that? See, my tits are in this fucking just rib-brop. Are you sure you got the right size? You chubby fuck. Did you try it on?

Yes, open my clothes. Oh, he said it like he's super sad to them. Yeah, chubby fuck, where's this coming from? Oh, from the instructions. I don't know, this reaction. Wait, what? I thought we were cool. So what do you, did you go for a follow-up?

No, so I want to hear about Dawn flipping out. Yeah. I want to hear about Dawn flipping out. Yeah. I want to hear about you breaking your ribs also. What happened to the tube? Shut up. Don's tubes are dead. Are they tied? No, they just died at the root.

We will Dawn call. She's like, she's pissed off. So I immediately get on to Instagram and I go, Hey, listen to instant mesh and display. I was like, Oh, we're coming in tomorrow. They told us this, that and this all long now we're going. And I, you know, I'm going to have a disappointed five year old tomorrow. I'm spending all this money to go there for two days. I'm going to be sitting in a hotel room, you know, why everybody's having fun blah, blah, blah. Can you help me? This guy Evan stepped up to the plate and said, no, there's nothing we could do. I'm fucking love Evan.

No, no, no. I don't think this is right. I think you got a lady's fat leg thing or something. Okay. So, how has my nose running? Am I bleeding? Am I dying for internally? No. Well, I don't know about that. Yes, but you're no, I believe.

You can get me a napkin, please. This thing is squeezing fucking snort out of my head. Snort. Snort. I asked buddy. So, the guy gets back to me, he's like, listen, don't worry about it. Just go, you're getting there in the afternoon anyways. Check in, if you need me, just, I don't know who this goes,

can you just mention my name, whatever. So I go, all right, you know what, I'm working on letting shit go. Yes. I'm just let it go. Just let it go. I can't get mad over this shit. Yes. Just, we'll go, we'll have fun. We'll go swimming. We'll do something else

I prep map from you know max five. You can kind of manipulate him He's like you'll have fun no matter what you know blah blah. Okay get up there We check in it's fucking back And the lady I throw her a fucking little you know, Kinski little a $20 bell not a double-barry But you know I give her a 10 you're right.20 bell, not a double barrier, but you know, I give it 10. You're right. Did you say happy president's day? Yeah.

That's a good thing. I like that. That's fun. I said, I get yourself a cigar. She goes, I'm a smokers a gas. I said, well, maybe a parliament 100. So we get the room. It's fucking great.

What a great room balcony fireplace separate. That was great. I'm the great time. And we all get loaded up. Don bought us fucking goggles. I had snow pants with suspenders. We had the boots, the gloves. We're ready to fucking blast down a mountain. And the videos I saw, look, so guy had a phone out, you know, blah blah blah. Well, this is gonna be great. I had my steady cam, my smooth mobile. That's SMOVE mobile. Like KB. Right.

Hang on one second, Mike. Let me fucking start the show again. What do we have to announce at the beginning of the show? You fuck. I'll tell you one. But wait, what happened? Did we not record? No, we're supposed to tell me. I fuck. I'll tell you one. But what happened? Did we not record?

No, we're supposed to tell me. I told you I said, follow my lead. Yeah, well, you never had a lead, you fucking non-leader. You started with the story. I know where I am. Oh, that was kind of confident, wasn't it? It's kind of snappy. I don't know if I liked that.

Do we have to read anything? There's no way we have any. What do we have to say? We're good right now. So you're the middle of a story. No ads, that's embarrassing. I like it. He's getting a little, kind of making me like him a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. He's giving it back to you. Yeah, but it's not in the fuck you. It's like, hey man, I got it. Don't worry about it. Yeah. That was the best thing.

Yeah. He's on point. Mike, will you make me eat my own come? Just looking for the right candidate. I'm sure he plenty of fruit. What's that do? It makes your come taste better. Oh, and when you shit it out, it comes out easier.

The pineapple. Pineapple skewers, yeah. Isn't that a myth, the wives tail or a husband's tail? No, no, no. I did a row game for a week. My come look like yellow gelatin. Oh, it's not. Come on, so, yellow tin?

All right, so it does yellow ton. Where is it done, too? You squeezed that in, didn't you? It wasn't bad. Yeah, wait, I'm done. Let's take my socks. Don't let me be yourself as weird it. Take my socks. Ah, ah, ah. Don't have yourself as weird as the past. So we, we, we get to the slopes.

Now we get off the slopes. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, up the slurs. Jesus. We want some Chinese food. No, slopes. That's a big time slur. That's a big time, yes. They like that less than orientals.

That's the slopes. We slopes. Is it Asians? Asians. From what I read on the internet, I don't use that at all. I can't believe I didn't know that. That's from the 80s. Yeah.

Okay. 70s, bro. We get off at the hills. We go on. You have to get on the shuttle bus. And you get on with a bunch of people and you drop you off at this, you know, I think it's going to be this little tiny hill. It's not. It's a mini mountain.

It's a fucking mini mountain. They have a chairlift. So well, they have the little, it looks like a people move. It's a rubber mat. There's just drags up the hill. But there's nobody, nobody's telling us, hey, here's what you do. Grab this, do that. I got a five row.

We've never done it. So you just kind of meander with these other people off of a bus, over to this funnel where there's this mat, the, you know, a people mover, rubber people. Is it all white? All white people. Excuse me. Was it all white? Cause, you know, the story lacks diversity. I didn't want to bring it up. I didn't want to bring it up. You can say it's a you people mover. It was actually Max's gender fluid. So it's Max Nombonnery, like really level with it. I thought the you people was funny.

And you stepped right over it. And because she has boobs, that's why. So anyways, yeah, there was a lot actually a lot of people there. I told you what it was ghetto. No, I'm just kidding. It was a lot of it was a lot of Asians, a lot of people there, I told you, it was ghetto. No, I'm just kidding. It was a lot of Asians, a lot of foreigners, a lot of Spanish people, there was a lot of white people. It was very diverse place.

And we're getting up this mountain. There's just one fucking teenager, just standing there, not even talking to you. Caught her is good? No. That was a good one. They were skiing. They were snowboarding.

I should say with Codder who's shredded. Is that right? Yes. Codder's in jail. He's going to have fun. He's a fucking champ. Yeah, Instagram. He's got a real hot wife.

Oh, yeah. I think you're doing it to the sun. Never mind. They're both. You want to bang a six year old guy? Do you think red head's a weird? Yeah. Always the bully and always the slut. So anyways, I grab a tube.

They don't even tell me to get like, do I get a little tube? Do I get that from Max? So I grab a tube. I grab one from Max, regular size. Dogs behind us, Max get on the people. He panics. He fucking flips out, jumps off. Now I have two tubes. She has a tube. I let go of his tube to grab Max. I let it grab my go get Max

Miss get on this is now he's fucking around where he's going to get hurt. Right. And I hate that is that what you do. We call him Maximus. That's why I named him Maximus. Yeah, I like that. Cause I needed Max, but Max Max wasn't enough Maximus. That's fucking Roman Empire. Do you ever call him Maxi Pad? He's like being a baby. No. When he's being a woman.

But I called you as douche when you're not being funny. Oh, that's very full. I thought you said we couldn't laugh at our own jokes. I can't, but it hurts. All right. So, so I get him on the thing like Max, it's a people move. You got to deal. So now I got to get him over this fear. So he's on the thing he jumps off again. I like Don John at me because she can't handle. She has three fucking little floats now. They keep

stopping this people mover. Nobody's helping the guy. God for. Oh for I can't get America's my ribs hurt God forbid the guy comes up and helps us. Is that then again? No, the kid whoever the kid was anyways get on the thing and as we're going up I'm max gets on look I'm holding this hand I got the thing with the floaties other tubes we're going up to say I'm like as we're going up to say, as we're going up, I'm like, this is not, this is really high. And there's one way down. It's in the tube. There's no people move a foot down that I can see. So I'm like, we have, I'm afraid of heights,

we get to the top of this thing. I'm like, this is not, it rained out yesterday. It's not snow, it's ice. Oh, no. And we're sitting up at the top of this mountain, this little mini mountain. And they're holding everything off because down the bottom, what they have to slow you down, it looks like doormats or like gym mats with holes in them, right? And they put them down, they'll see you hit these things and it slows you down. And then at the end, it's it's a real quick

patch of dirt that goes straight up. And then there's a red balloon that you down. And then at the end, it's, it's a real quick patch of dirt that goes straight up. And then there's a red balloon that you hit. Human obstacle course. So that was my nickname. So it was, so I'm up at the top. We're waiting and waiting. Somebody went through the thing because people are flying, because it's all ice. We're waiting, almost 20 minutes waiting on the sale.

Finally, I got max in front of me. I'm like, I'm a little nervous. I'm kicking my five year old down this fucking mountain. It doesn't really look like it did in the photos. In the photo, it looked like they had these, you know, three foot barriers in between each lane. And that was maybe, maybe that was in February, June, oh, I mean, in January, all those of, you know,

it's like this, this big in between each lane. People are just going over lanes. Wow. I was like, oh, whatever. So they go, let's go and I kick mag with dongos and I push max. And I'm like, as soon as I did, I'm like, this could be this might be bad. Like I might please just hold on your fuck, please, please just hold on. And they go down, don's hat falls off her fucking thumb head. Her hat falls off her

her hat falls off from dumb head. And I'm like, fuck right in the middle of the thing. So it's one swoop, two swoops, there's her hat. And I'm like, there's my wife's hat. She did. Look at me. Yeah. We can't get it. It's like, oh, okay. They do nothing. I'm like, okay. She has people must have people lose items before. Yeah, and there's a big bucket of it that they have. And so they wait till at the end of the day. Yeah. And it's a box that says free. So, so I'm such a fucking ass. I switched lanes with this guy to get in that lane, which I shouldn't have done, because

the lane I was in had like five rubber mats to slow you down. The lane I got in had like two. And I didn't do the mic feeny set me a text message literally a half out before I did this saying I went with him. I went I do this with my dad. He's 250 really big guy. He he went down the hill like he was shot out of a rocket. I can't wait to see the video of you being hurt or whatever. Like he knew this was going to happen because of the weight situation, the physics of, you know, mass gravity on this shit. I got in the state.

No one says anything. Hey, dude, you're a rather large guy. Well, it would be hurtful. Yeah, there's never slow lane. Well, this should have a, hey, dude, you're a rather large guy. Well, it would be hurtful. Yeah, they should have a slow lane. Well, they should have a hey, dude, you're going to go real fast. Yeah. You're going to really go fast. Hold on tighter than anything.

You should fast before you come here. So, um, let's skip ahead. How's the lawsuit coming along? No, I assume that you're suing the mountain. There's no lawsuit. I went down the, Iing the mountain. There's no law suit. I went down the, I went them, yeah, let's bury the lead. I just went through 90 minutes. Let's skip a little joke. Cunt. I, uh, all right. So you go down the mountain. This is, you have a new style. You like Stephen Wright with these broken ribs. You like headberg. So I'm up in the mountain. I'm scared.

So did you get the hats? The hats gone. Hats gone ribs are broken. I go down the mountain. I miss that with my foot. But what I did is just spun me around. I'm just spinning down this fucking mountain because if I'm fucking hat, Michael. Oh, you sound like De Niro in the fucking Miami prison. Same thing happened to Sonny Bono.

So we're going down the first hell, like, fuck, the second hell, I'm like, I'm going way too fast. Then I started spinning. I'm like, I'm going to die. Did you think to drag your foot? No, that's a terrible feeling, by the way, when you're at a control going fast, and there's nothing you can do. That's how I felt after I proposed. Ah. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I tried to drag my feet, but it was all ice. You couldn't get anything in. What? It was just making me spin more. So now I'm just, I'm just, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. What about you fingers? Did you?

No, I had to hold on to the fucking thing. Did you think about biting the tube to pop it? I'm about to thought about that anyways. Just like a donut thing. Or maybe flipping on your back. Would you have tumbled then? Yeah. Take your coat.

Take your coat. You would have tumbled. Created into a rope. You can throw it to someone. Yeah. Was back is pretty rounded to the. Cox are bad problem solvers. I'm shaped like a tube.

I'm not getting out of the tube. Okay. I'm not going from a tube to a fucking another tube. Did you ever hear about the story? It might have been an old wife still about the roof. He was sliding off a roof. So he took his nail gun and he just shot it through his hand to say it was like that's a wire. That's a wire. I might want to look it up. I tell you right now that just that wouldn't work. Um, it's no far enough in his hand. No, it's a nail gun. It's a fucking long nail. I like my cast so much confidence today, he said that with confidence, like, you

can't shoot you a nail through your hand. It's to get enough to hold you. You just ripped your hand at that point. I like to like roofers. Joe's confidence of a roofer. Joe has roof. Yeah. A roofer. I, um, I did some roofing. All right. So what happens next? So now I'm down, I'm, I'm hitting the bottom of the hill.

And I know there's a little patch of dirt. And I go, I know once I'm down, I'm hitting the bottom of the hill and I know there's a little patch of dirt and I go, I know once I hit that, I'm just stopping. Can I ask a question six and a half inches? No, not about your ass. How long is this time? What is it? 30 seconds or eight seconds? It's eight seconds. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi. Okay. Oh, the hat. I'm just a detonary. That's great.

Okay. So about eight seconds, like riding a bull. Fuck. Now, but a zip line is very, very fat. I think another slur. Jesus. A zip line. It's terrifying.

It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Because you get the same thing. You get any control over what's happening. Well, well, just like this business, we get to the bottom. I hit one mat. I hit two mats. I'm not stopping them. Not even a fucking blip of speed that I lose. And then my weight carried me to the dirt where the thing just said, eh, bounced.

I bounced off of it. Oh, I got thrown into a wall of dirt that's ice pretty much cement. And then I rolled into the balloon that I was supposed to hit to save me. My just, my feet just went into that. And I think I popped it. So you immediately knew you were fucked up when it went out. I heard. Oh, and I couldn't, I was like, yeah, I was like, I'm fucked. I'm done. The kid goes, kid walks up, sir, you all right? I went,

I don't think no. Then my kids like, dad, and he runs up and grabs me. And I couldn't, I couldn't let him know. I was just like, hey, buddy. Ew. Why couldn't you let him know? Because he was having a blast. I'm not going to fucking scare the shit out of my kid. Because he's a good dad. I took the hit. I said, Don, can I talk to you for a second? It sounds like talks masculine.

Yeah, that does sound like toxic masculine. I'm not even joking. I said, I said, Max, I'm good. Especially for a non-binary child. I wish he had a for mail, dad. You wouldn't have to put up all those hoodies you have. I, um, I just said I'm gonna stay in here for a sec and they went back up the mountain and I stood there to see if I could shake it off and I couldn't.

I thought something was, I knew something was bad. Something happened. So I, don't come back down, I go, hey guys, I'm just gonna go get a band that I hurt my finger. And Max said, oh, hey dad, we're gonna go back up because he's having a blast. My gosh, you little bit. I went over to the guy, I go listen,

I need to see somebody and they saw me and they put me in an ambulance. But I had to pull the ambulance up behind the house so Max didn't see on the line. And then I got in the car and they took me to the hospital. And I was there and I sure I was, you know, that shit. I was at the nine o'clock. But then the carters came, the boys,

Max didn't give a fuck, he was having a blast. Ah, ah, ah. And then they went, had a blast with the dinner and then I came back, but I took a cab back from the hospital too. I didn't want to have them to come see me in the hospital. That wasn't that bad. I hung up with the lady. Okay.

We stopped going to cigar and some fucking thing. Really? Well, the hospital was that was, they were cool people, but it was a little weird. Was it a hospital cigar bar? Were there other people who got hurt doing that? Well, I was in the hospital. Now, nobody from there, but I was in the hospital and this, it was kind of a ghetto hospital.

I had like a drop ceiling, like a shitty comedy club. And I remember they would just cut holes through the ceiling tiles for the antennas, for the stuff, and this old black guy coming out with his butt hanging out with the hiccups going, you're gonna tie it on. And they would go back it. Behind the curtain, I thought I was dreaming.

I thought I was like, every couple minutes, you're gonna tie them. And then you just go behind the curtain. Welcome to ERs, your house MC, tie them on. She did. So they did the cat scan. They did a nice touch for black history month. Shortest month of the cat scan. They did the extra black history month.

Um, sure, it's month of the whole year. And do you ever do that bit? And then, uh, and then they, uh, they released me on my own recoggin instance. Sure. I can't. And then, uh, I took a cab, They go, we're going to call Mickey. But if he took his sleep and if he took his sleeping pills, he's not going to be able to come. I go, what? They go, that we only have two cab choices. Mickey and you'll land us. I was like, why we just go to you'll land. Oh, She goes, so they called this lady and she

picked me up. And she got, we stopped. I go, I wish I had a cigar. She goes, let's buy one. I'll get it for you. Because I didn't have any money. I had nothing. Wow. So she bought me a cigar. She got like three scratch tickets. And then we went back to the hotel and I think taking an ambulance anywhere is like, I mean, you probably have really good insurance, but it's, it's like eight grand to go to the house and then, and then, and then taking a cab back is like seven 50. It's really true. Yeah, but I, I was a surge. I didn't. When you take, here's the thing, when the ambulance

off, you take a cab to the emergency room, you're going to wait all fucking night. If you take here's the thing with the ambulance off you take a cab to the emergency room You're gonna wait all fucking night if you take an ambulance you go right in and see a doctor Oh, okay That's why if you're hurt if you think you're hurt or something's wrong you call an ambulance take the head because if not you're gonna You're gonna be waiting and unless you're bleeding or you they can see some you know and mine was internal I thought I didn't know if I pointed a rib or a long or fucked up my kid, Neom, my, my, my, uh, spleen is, you know, a little, so I was like, I'm not, I'm not risking that shit. So, but everything went up being great.

My cat's game was good. I cracked a few ribs. That's about it. But I have the video. Do you want to see the video? Yeah. I know. Wait, wait, stop.

No, I wouldn't have listened to the whole fucking story. I want to see the video? Yeah. I know. Wait, wait, stop. No, and I wouldn't have listened to the whole fucking story. I want to see the hat. Hang on one second. I have the hat. Well, here's a funny part. Don got the hat back. Oh, yeah. At the end of the day, she went over to the basket and was in the back. And Matt was like, Mom, there's your hat. So she got, I didn't even need to stick my leg out.

There's fucking twats. Anyways, yeah. Well, I go at the end of the night, I go, as I'm in the cab, I go, oh, by the way, do you, do you have the video? And don't go, he wants to know if I have the video. And everybody at the table just started laughing. Oh, because they've been watching it

for the last hour and a half. Just smashing those. Oh. This could be your biggest YouTube video. Yeah. Cause they've been watching it for the last hour and a half. Just smashing this. This could be your biggest YouTube video. Yeah. No, it's not that big. It's going to go viral. Yeah.

Right. All right. So here we go. Now, Gabby, I have to give her credit. She helped add it together. Now, stop. Now, go with me, Mike. Now, that's, now, look it.

Now, look, now, if you look, you think there's one lane, two hills, three hills, there's four hills. Wow. Look how high up it goes. See the people way up there. I have a weird depth thing. Does it look like one small hill? No, it's way up.

There's one, two, three. I think there's four hills. Oh, and these are the stopping man. Now, yeah, but see how many that guy has right there? Yeah. Yeah, I had three. He's got seven. Maybe that should have been you were Yeah. Yeah. I had three. He's got seven. Maybe that should have been you were in the wrong. I was in I switched lanes at the last

second for the hat for the hat. The dumb hat, which was on the second slope down like this bird. Now, in mind you, I am doing probably 3000 miles an hour. Okay. I'm not kidding. I'm flying. And I have no control. And I switched lanes. I was in another lane And I got another saying I ready go So this isn't the original lane you were in that what you're saying no I'm trying to slow down now stop I'm trying to see mats. See how many look how many mats I got. I got three. Wow. This guy's got 90. Oh, this max go. Stop. That sucks. Did you hear everybody? Everybody was like,

oh, that do we replay it a couple of times? Yeah, here we go. Stop. Stop, right? Oh, the right. Right on the corner. You hit the corner. Oh, it's after. That's the corner is what got me. Oh, they got to put something softer down there.

You think Mike's fucked up? You think? Yeah. Well, you're supposed to hit that red thing, but I, they have, it look at all these mats that have mushed over. All these mats are supposed to be on the thing slowing us I have it. Look at all these mats that have mushed over. All these mats are supposed to be on the thing slowing us down. Wow. But during the day, these lazy fucks. Yeah. I blame them all so watch. Gotta play. Watch me roll. Look at my feet go into the mat.

Hit play. This balloon is different than I pictured. Yeah, me too. I thought an actual balloon was there. I did too. All right, here we go. Here we go. Ready, ready? Slip. Stop. It just throws me. Oh, that my feet hit. It's like swallowing you home. Oh, yeah. I think you could sue Coca-Cola. Yeah. There we go. Oh, my God. That's a great hit. Go back a little bit.

Show that little piece again. Here we go. Ready, ready. This is what hurt. That's where I drink Pepsi. I'm eating right fucking this. Boom. Boom.

Oh, Max does laugh. It's so tragic. Cause it's such a high pitch, sweet laugh. Is that Max? Yeah, he's going to laugh. He's the happiest moment of his life. And then it's back in Christmas. I mean, you could hear the pure joy.

And then you just get annihilated. Yeah, that's Max. Go ahead. That makes me cry. Yeah's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie.

That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie.

That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. Who did that? Well, you're supposed to hit that thing, but here's the thing.

Look at that. You've already explained it to us. There's no, there's no mat. Like, he's just dirt. Wow. Like, it should be mats. You shouldn't be hitting dirt. Once I hit something softer there.

Once I hit the dirt and the red. Go back a little bit. Once I hit the dirt, which is when the thing stopped. They should put something softer like Mike's act. they should put something softer like Mike's act. It should put something softer like Mike's penis. Yeah, you get it up. Yeah, I don't hit it, I hit fucking dirt, fucking dirt. See the dirt?

There's no mat where I'm at. You hit the right. It should have been sooner. You hit the edge. Are we still on this? Yes. So, so, uh, but the next day the guy came up, Yevin best blood. He said, Yevin.

Evan, the guy from Mount Creek came up the next day. Box of fucking baked goods. Oh, he really, he really, he came up with a box of baked goods from a bakery in town. I'm talking to, oh, he really, he really, he, he gave him up with a box of baked goods from a bakery in town. I'm talking to some of the best donuts, some of the best, uh, little pastries I've ever had. Like a crispy cream, like a rich, better fuck, way better than that. Wow.

I mean, custom fucking donuts. I mean, homemade donuts from a bakery, little cakes and pies, and it was way too many of them. It was like for 40 people. Juices, he gave us breakfast, coupons. He gave us dinner coupons. He said, come back in the summer. It's on the house.

What happens in the summer? You stay here. They have a water park. Oh, so they have a water park. You can crack your other ribs. So it's like you come back in the summer. You make, because he knows, don't come back here again in the winter.

Chubby. He knows you have a lot of followers, I bet. That's what he really took. He really took care of me and my family. So we're going back in the summer. Oh, and we're going to do the water park, which I heard is pretty dangerous. Tell me about the pool. Is that you and Swinney and Nuffet?

Is it dangerous? Do you know it? What? No, no, no, no. heard is pretty dangerous. Tell me about the thing. Is that you went swimming? Is it dangerous? Do you know it? What? No, no, no, no. Very dangerous. Okay. Very dangerous. It was action park. Yes, the old action park videos. Is that it? Yeah, that was action park. No, wait a minute. Mountain Creek. It's action park. What? What do you mean? What do you talk? Give him a mic, please. Come over here. It's actually coming in. Is it the same? What what are you talking about? So when Action Park went through their lawsuits? What's Action Park? Action Park was a water park in Vernon, New Jersey that had like a death drive

rides where people get break arms get really injured. You know, I have the cannibal run come right across near the rope swing. It was very dangerous. There's like there's lots of documentaries and view to videos on how dangerous I'm waiting for somebody to pull it up. There's too much. But when lawsuits took place, uh, they got rebranded. What's the name of it? It's called action park.

It was action park. Now it's bound Creek. I still haven't seen the roofing hammer. It's like an action park. Max came up. I mean, Michael, politics planes it action park.. I mean, Michael, that explains it action park.

It's frozen. Wow, that worked from this side of the you. That's how funny would that be if I go back this summer and my whole family, we all die. Oh my god. And we get we have the video.

Oh, I'll edit it. So action park is very dangerous. Can we fix that? It's right. If it's frozen, just let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. That's not that. That's not it. That's not it. That's not the party. Johnny Knoxville movie that came out last year.

Oh, is that real? It was based on a real park. That's based on that park. Are you shitting the 90s? It was a big deal. Wow. Wow. All right. Well, that's why they sent me a box of fucking donuts and said I could come back. But it, fuck, it can't be that way now, right? Sir, from Jersey face, they just called it something else. Are you from Jersey? Yeah. No, what'd you say? From New York. Yeah. Oh, from New York.

The same. That's it. Yeah, that's that death loop right there somebody died on that what's the death loop that loop? It was a water slide that did a full loop Why would you die? They would it because it's terrible. That's supposed to do that Gravity is not good for you. They had waiting limits on it for kids But you know, they just had kids from high school being the slide people They would send workers down and they would that's what they had at the fucking thing that a high school kid. Good fat. So do 900 down the hill. The death loop was an old Yoda run.

That's pretty solid. That was very inside. We showed we show that Mike by laughing. Mike's dead on the inside. He can't laugh anymore. Mike's like the Olympics. That's a 10. What else do they got, Michael? Let's see. What about a guy sliding off a roof and putting a nail through the sand? What the fuck is that? Yeah, they have those little slides to dry

slides. What else? What else? What does that look like? What's the safe? What is that thing? That's still on the mountain, by the way. I saw that. No, I saw that. Yes, click on that, man. That's still there. What is that? What is that? Chamber, that's a, I don't know. Oh, no.

I think that's an IUD. I can't go back. I can't go back. I can't go back. Do I go back? Go back. Go back. What are you doing if you're free?

You have to go back. Wait a minute. No, you don't. It's free. Get more donuts. It would cost free you have to go back? Wait a minute. No, you don't. It's free. Get more donuts. It would cost me nothing not to go back. It could cost my son's life to go back. You're subtle. Yes.

Yes. Kids are flexible. What do you mean my son will be fine? He's okay. He's tough. He's not fine. He's not fine. What's that? Those out.

What is it? The alpine slide. Okay. Go ahead. So the alpine slides is a slate track that would go down the center, the ski slopes during the summer. And you sit on what Equate to a sled with a handbrake in the center.

Yeah. People would just push down the handbrake and fly off the track. They go off the side. Rob, you're wide ahead. But team of lifeguards surrounding the congast right now. LAUGHTER I do see my lifeguard.

And not very diverse, I might have. I'm just kidding.. I might have. What's with all the straight white male lifeguards that you have around here right now? I'm not complaining. Don't threaten her with a good time. I mean, you're not 16, but you'll do. Wow. Oh, so true.

It looks like I'm being called me a good horse. I did not know. Maybe that's why they're very nice to me and tell me I'm good. Of course. I did not know. Maybe that's why they're, uh, they're very nice to me. They probably just have a lot of donuts on hand. I'd say it was. No, this was from the bakery. I checked. I tell you though, we that night, um, the next day Max went on a snowboard lesson. Great.

There we go. They give you the lessons after you do it. great. There we go. They give you the lessons after you do it. I gotta dig this bra off and skill. Looks like a t-shirt bra. Oh, nice. Oh my God. I feel like a different person. It's a bro. Oh my God. It's a man's ear. Now I know what a fat cheek feels like after working at Walmart all day. It's a man's ear now. I know the fat cheek feels like after working at Walmart all day Why is get paid enough? Hello Bernie

Bernie he's back maybe So anyway, I also like Liz Warren. You do not I love what when why can't you drink coffee? It's a rib injury You fucking scumbag Just coffee drip every sip Ribbing tree you fucking scumbag Just coffee drip every sip Video you know you have a brown drip down your lips I like my guys like I like my coffee black and down the front of my shirt

Did you date black guys? No never I made a pact with my dad. This is my black, who's black? The first dad is black. Her mother has the strongest genes in history. Yeah. Norwegian. No, she really does have Game of Thrones face. Thank you.

I was not a bad thing. Um, yeah, there you go. So I'm going to go back, I guess, right? We had the pool at night. That was like a, that was fucking. Or not. Oh, yeah. You said I'm going to go back in an ambulance siren.

All right. So I'm not going back. I'm going back to the street. I'll go back during the summer. He max took a snowboarding club. And he was great at it. It was great. And then that night, we went to, uh, we went to the pool. Me and Matt,

he had a video, night swimming dude. Heated pool in the winter. It's got to be one of the fucking greatest things ever and most dangerous things I've ever been for a child. What's not dangerous? 30 degrees. You have a not the pool. You're fucking dick fart. Yeah, it's heated. That's called a quiff. Dude, first of all, you're in the pool. It's heated. I know, but what about the moments afterwards? There's a little dick could find it's actually good for you, Joe. Yeah, it's good. You're not so weird because it was a pile of little dicks right at the game. I'm my god. I didn't even think of that, Joe. Lost in We have a video of the bakery. Oh, I'm sorry. Do we have a video of you guys in the pool?

I love it. It was adorable. We did. We enjoyed your trip. Here's the thing though. It's fall. I'll see you next fall. I'll need you to get hurt in the summer. I hate myself. I could hurt in the summer. I hate myself. So why don't you do something about it? If I kill myself, that's on you and Alan and my wife and my parents obviously. This thing is dripping. Something's up. Yeah, you're melting my asshole every time you take a gun.

Ah. Did it warn you about not laughing at the hospital? Oh Did they warn you about not laughing Hospital no, who the doctor? Yeah, no When you felt an occupation oh medium this is gonna be a conflict of interest No, but they were watching my standup I can hear them in the other room. They're watching my shit Oh, that's really yeah, they totally started treating me You wow, it could be better, but it's not Did you ask them what's your level of pain while watching this?

I liked it. What's that? Oh, yeah, Mike is not. Why is your Mike nut on? I'm I'm for it. I'm just curious. Mike, why is his Mike nut on? I mean, Zach, why is his mic nut on?

Are you on now? Are you unplugged? Perhaps an intern, Robert Kelly. If you want to see the video of me crashing, it will be up there up there only. Great show on HBO. The sequel to Louis. Was the pitch of crashing just Louis? Louis, but cleaner and we don't, we don't sexually assault anybody. Sounds boring. I do enjoy the show. I love the show. Gabby, you're very quiet. Are you all right? Are you hit? Do you hate me? I hate you. You've said the least of all of us. It'm sorry, but I'm sorry. Well, no, it's because of the sexual tension, Joe. Well, that's not.

Yeah, it's not. I feel like you're not the person that I want to high heel in my ass, and I feel like you're not the right. No, we're in Timberlands. Yeah. I have high heels. There.

There you go. Switch the, it's that all you want to say about your period. No, they're my good heels. No, I don't. No, no, no. Yeah, go to my Patreon. We'll put in the video, Gabby, edit up tonight for Patreon. People only you get at patreon.com.

That's Robert Kelly. If you're a fan of the show, you better go there too. And this weekend, I am at the, where are my, oh, my goobies. Oh, my goobies. I'm going to be going to my go this week in Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Should be my boobies. And I'm gonna have, I'm gonna have my bra on during my set. Oh, that would have been a better time for all of you.

Take it off during, take it off during checks. Can we stop the checks, bought a comic? It's terrific. I mean, what do we have? How much would it take for them to give a red ticket out to everybody? Just a red ticket or stamp a receipt. Two seconds. Put a guy by the door.

That's nothing. Very easy. And they put it in. They're dropping it. 20 minutes in. They drop it 20 minutes in and they drop it all at once in the front row. And they talk to them full blown. Yes.

And they drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. And for my act, you really have to listen to it. Not like when you guys are just. Yeah, because you'll miss those jokes. You have to focus on my. I mean, literally focus when he laughs, you laugh, which is a good thing that you do. Now, so I like, yeah, I, the check spots the worst. I don't get it. I don't know why we put up with it too with such pussy's. All we could do is say we're not doing it anymore. If we have

R.I.E. Shafir and Billy Burr and Burr Crash, you just say, hey, don't do that anymore. Yeah. Then they won't do it for those shows. And then they'll just go back to normal right. Exactly else. Also, what are does the garden? Yeah. So there's no checkspot. Yeah. Put your popcorn down Get you get your Rangers copy you make it too much noise Yeah, you get 10 p.m. Prime after that. 10 p.m. Probably after that. Yes, absolutely And that your big show March 8th cash week theater. Wow boss Bronbengton doing foreign team myself Gay take is now because it's gonna sell out. Why isn't it diverse?

myself. Oh shit. Gay take is now because it's going to sell out. Why isn't it diverse? That's fucked up, man. Cause it's called bringing making comedy great again. Because it's called it's funny. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean different? Who do we add to that? Uh, I don't know. Gabby, maybe. Yeah. For what? She's not transgender. Yes. You're not. No, she wouldn't. No, but I'm a Jew. So that's something. Yeah. You don't look at you. I've been here a long time. It's really nice to get. Yeah.

Oh my God. Gabby does have trans hair. Oh no. Oh my God. Just just a just a limp guy hair. Now enough conditioner. She probably just doesn't have any product in it now. I don't know. Yeah, like a guy. Yeah. That was the doesn't have any product in it now. I don't. Yeah,

like a guy. Yeah. That was the point. I got product. I got that C-shit. It's like a C-salt like beach hair. Oh, yeah. Well, right now I got these. Sure. Yeah, it smells like you can give it a little. It looks like you just came in the beach. It's great. Oh, I don't really. But last night. The 1985 Celtics Championship. Larry bird hair. Oh, Larry Bird. I got it back in. They didn't win an 85. They lost to the Lakers. Yeah, you got a two pay. Listen, they won an 81 84 and 86, lost an 85. I didn't say they won. I said they were in it. You said 85 championship. Game. I didn't say the championship. They won. Wow. So technically, I was right. Am I right people? I agree to disagree. Pable. Technically right. I'm right. I'm technically right.

Whoa. What's that? No, no, that's rude. That's just that's just fucking stuff. I live in sports more. Yeah. Let's talk about let's move on. The truth. So Neil benefit was last night. How was it? Great. Killed. Yeah, you said somebody bomb your bomb. I heard that. I said on air. This guy was there.

You were there. The sensei was there. Yeah. How, how, uh, Quentin Tarantino face. Who, uh, who was there? Um, Brandon Bern. Yeah, how was he? How do you do? I liked him. I liked him. Me too. I also did. Yeah.

Uh, boss. Very good. Yeah. Vintage boss. Joe, uh, Joe DeRosa list. No, this one. Um, uh, the good Joe. I actually, I've listened to what was it between Joe and Mark?

Was there any? No, very similar. Very funny. Height, looks, material, sweatshirts. Thank you. Money. That was a firm place hand placement on your back. That was good.

I wore two Ted Bakers, double Ted Baker. Wow. Okay. Also, I think we have a couple of different. I would have rather seen 10 deliveries. So it was a good show. What was it? This eighth seven seven years he's been dead eight years he's been dead. Wow. It's crazy. I was his mother there. Yes. Yeah. Vaughn. Yes. Great. That's great. Well, God bless Patrice. God bless Maureen Tarrant too and Billy

Berford doing that every year. You know, I will that money goes. We'll never know. I mean, how much money do you need? How many houses? I just I just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm I can't we just give it to one of us every year. I mean, all right. This you were given it to one of us every year? All right. This year we're giving it to one of his friends. And I'm not having the slopes. No, I love his mom. I'm going to call. She didn't call me. So, um,

come and sell it Vegas. Come and sell Vegas. You played there, right? Mike. Yes. Joe, did you play there yet? No, I'm there. Mark's 20th to the 24th with Mike Vecchio.

And Ari Shaffir, Gary Veter, Mark Norvins. Amazing. It's got to be the best show ever. That's great. I'm coming early. Well, Sarah will come on Sunday. You always know I'll be on the show. She's coming now. She's coming on Sunday.

Me and her and Ari are going to go hiking at Mount and Zion National Park. We're a guy almost died in quicksand. That's great. What? Yeah. We have quicksand. I'm going died in quicksand. That's great. What? Yeah. Yeah, quicksand. Fucking crazy. A guy fell into quicksand and then his wife had to hike three hours out just to get

out. I'm trying to want a Bobby story. Yep. Okay. Thank you, Michael. Michael, Michael, Michael, I'll be wiped out. Let's go to the video again. He didn't get the video.

Can we go to the video? No, I saw the video. No, you didn't apparently because you get a one up with a quicksand. He died in that accident. Mike you know it quicks Is a fucking myth isn't yeah, it's like a cartoon. No, it's not a miss this guy almost died There's no such thing as quicks in it is a myth and the earth is flat. You know we go Yeah, real funny dawn Yeah, real funny dawn

So by the way of max care about you he would have ran over to help No, he ran watch Look at that kid looking at me though like oh that fat guy's dead by the way the guy next to you You know that guy is that's a fucking worker. Look at his jacket. He has an M on it. He should be the guy that's you. Wrecked just as hard or harder. Yeah, but he didn't hit the ground. He went up a whole balloon. He kind of moved the balloon. He bounced into the ground. I bounced off the five-stop dead.

My weight pushed into the dirt, stopped that to dead, and it bounced me out, and I hand-landed on my ribcage, and then into the balloon, stopped that tube dead, and then bounced me out, and I hand-landed on my ribcage, and then into the balloon. And that kid right there sitting down, watch him. He works there. Watch him look at me going, this guy's going way too fast.

Oh, Michael, God, do I wish you could fucking do this. Just get his name. Oh, God, look, Michael, please. Watch the other kid, look at him kid looking up now? See him? Oh, this is kind of getting up. He's just getting away. He's moving away. He's moving. Yeah, but watching me, see, you look at me. How did they mic the inside of your stomach? Right there. Look, look, look, look, see, he looks all this guy's

dead. Right on my rib, boom, all my way, all 225 pounds. The guy was in quicksand for like six hours and then started snowing. It was freezing, but they got him out. There's no quicksand and there's no quicksand on the West Coast. It's not on the coast, dummy. It's in Utah. There's no quicksand on the West side of the America. The America. The America. All right. Well, maybe, uh, maybe the Washington post all of you know, you know, printing line. Oh, well, no, that like that hasn't happened. They are. They're all liars. Did you read about that Jesse? So right now, yeah. Yeah. What's his name? Jesse? What? Small it? Small it. What about

that? Fucking guy? That's crazy. It's I like him. I mean, I need acting work. I think it's important. Yeah. I could get hired for hate hires for hate. How are you that talented, that good looking? You know what I mean, at this time, too, you know, you're in this way. I don't know. It's not you. Oh, I mean, he can sing. Yeah, he can dance. He's good looking. He's gay. He was getting written off the show, right? He was getting nice. He was getting written off the show. Jesus. She really is from the Kumi in network. These are the talking points we need you to hit on on that. You're on that fucking centrist douchebag show. Springdale Utah. That is a true story. Confirmed. Hang on one second. Could you Google charisma?

Could you Google charisma? Nope. Ah! Ah! Bring it on. What was the confusion? We're gonna write it. All right, what does it say? How can we never work with him?

I already told you the story. I don't believe you. We have to check it out, Joe. Now we're gonna take your word. Yeah, look at what the kids with the magnet hats in this kid. Everybody just takes the word of somebody. The law she's in post. Yeah, terrible.

Jesus Christ. Joseph. The guy was a ruffer too. Yeah. It's terrible. Jesus Christ. Joseph. The guy was a ruffer too. Yeah. He's like Bill Cosby. A ruffier.

Dude, ruffies. That's funny. Come on, dude. Dragon chicks. I mean, you couldn't put that together and get a chuckle. I mean, I don't know where we are. We put it together. A ruffier and a ruffer.

This does it. It was a stretch. I was was thinking you've never done stretch. Oh my God. Oh Joe, I'm coming to you now and waves. Authorities have rescued a hiker who got stranded in a creek during winter weather at Zion National Park Creek. It's a long story. A long story.

A long story. A long story. A long story. A long story. A long story. A long story. A. But here's the story. So his leg was stuck. His wife had to go and hike until she could get reception. Okay, great. Which is like four hours out and then back and then she wasn't sure. Should she keep going or should she be with him while he dies? Whoa.

How does your leg get stuck in quicksand? You step in it. You come into the quicksand. And one leg contrary to popular belief, you cannot be fully submerged because it's too buoyant. Well, no, we can't because we lift weights, so we can't be submerged at all. What about me? We fucking kick out of it.

Like men. Yeah, I don't get tree branch. I go, huh, huh, I mush my way out. I use my neck muscles. But it was, it was snowing, so it's snowed on them like fucking Jack Torrance. Damn. Yes. Thank you.

Did they have a photo of this guy? They at least have his phone on him so he could look, you know, know, yeah, I'm gonna get photos or whatever, but it's no reason. How do you follow on the quicksand? He's just stepped and slipped in it to it. So you see, it's just the mud. It's like mud. Did you push him? No. And then you started to sink in. Thank you. Thank you. You want the real story? Thank you. They had an argument. Yeah. Then they had to airlift them out. How they airlift them out? Was he dead? No, he was, he's okay, but he was lucky to keep me alive.

And is he not dead? He's alive. He survived. Oh, she had to go hike for three hours until she had cell service. Yeah, similar to what I said. You said four. I don't know if I've dated anybody I would hike three hours for. Maybe if they call me a bitch and maybe eat come. Are you being her? are you being you?

Yeah. That all sounds horrible. I'm sorry to say. I'm sorry to say this is. I mean, I just take an approach to bar. I needed something to show the head and something to the bag. But anyway, Sarah and I were laughing about, because the three of us are going hiking there.

And it would be funny if Sarah and I had to die with Ari. I was like, I love you. And I just want to be, and then he's just sitting there, you know? Well, the rescue workers got to him and they still had to stay with him for two hours because snow fell because they couldn't get taken out of there waiting for the snow to finish. Yes.

After they got him out of the quicksand, you could still have just died just from having to wait. Ari would want a podcast. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Well, me and Liz and Mark Cohen, one of the most beautiful hikes I ever did was in Vegas when I did the seller up in the mountains. We hiked all the way up this switchback to the top and there was a waterfall you could drink out of. Oh, there's a lot of hiking in Vegas. A lot of hiking.

Yeah, beautiful. So that's good. You're going to go hiking. Yeah, we're going to go to Zion. And then we're going to drive all the way from Zion to Sunnyvale to do Rooster Teas then fly straight to Texas for Cap City really you guys two and a half weeks Are you doing you doing Cap City with him? No, no, Ari's just there for the hiking. Oh, but we're not gonna have sex with him We're gonna headline the hiking

Ari Joe has a long gate though. Yeah, good gate. He has a long gate. I hike with you. You fly. Yeah, you walk really fast. Well, I walk a normal pace.

Fuck was that? What was that head jack? You walk extremely slow. You were out of shape. Hey. First of all, I am not out of shape. I said you were. Now, obviously, you're I am not out of shape. I said you were now obviously

Your shape changed When people get rid of removed they look smaller. I like it twice I like it physically and then being and then my emotional getting hit Maybe a rips will heal in a way that you could suck your own dick like that guy Maybe a rips will heal in a way that you could suck your own dick like that guy Remember I'm gonna be a celebratory painter Ruth Gator Ben Ginsburg. She and all right. Well, I do that every time I say Ruth Gator Benzberg The flat tie now give it to me. I deserve it. No, you don't deserve it. That was a flat tire Yeah, you didn't finish it if you finish it would have got right and you fucking red cheek face

You'll be at celebrate seller biggest end of May. Oh, yeah, I'm going there. The end of May. Nice. That's enough. But I'm going to be with you because it's important hang. Yeah. Huh? Who are you with? Cause the hang is important there. Rich Voskey, Robitson, Paul Verzi. That's nice. Nice. That's a nice thing.

We went, we went golfing last time with me, Verzi, a golf rich rich, rich, pretty good. which is great. He's got a weird swing that he said he got fixed, but he hit a cactus in his fucking golf drive and he hit his fucking soloplexes and knocked the window. He got out of the, he got out of the car. He's like, I think he means solar plexus. He didn't say the word.

You went my chest. Yeah, is he good at golf? Yeah, for as he was good. Yeah, they're both better than me. I mean, I'm gonna fucking play. I was just smoking cigars. I smoked a big fat cigar and I was swinging. I need to be like you own the course.

It's weird to that thing with Jesse Schmutz. What's his name again? Smell it? It's fucking amazing to me that that guy his acting ability Yeah, in that interview It's amazing. We're paying people to commit hate crimes. He's like I'm okay everybody. Yeah, but he was like the lies Oh I told the truth. That's what hurts me. I'm like, this guy is an amazing actor. If he's fucking lying and he did that interview like that, he should get

know, he should get some type of criminal acting award. Yeah. You know, some type of racist award. Hey, I'm Emmy. Yeah. And it's Chicago too. If it was Kentucky, or if the show was filmed somewhere, it's Trump country. It's yeah, when they said it's Trump country in downtown Chicago, downtown Chicago.

And they put the bleach on his head and they had a noose like, you know, me get the noose. Yeah. Where we go? We'll'll go for a walk. And then they knew who he was it's like fucking nuts. Yeah, it's crazy. Crazy. This sounds like somebody's doing it on purpose to set it up bleach on the head. Really specific. Yeah. Play the, is this working at all now? There's too much interference with the wireless from the side. I hate you. I'm on airplane mode. It's not me. Oh, no, this is all this new stuff. I just, I was a client.

When I was checking your phone in the middle of the podcast, let me see if I'm on airplane mode also. When I was, I was watching the talk before they found out that it was like fake. And they were offended that anybody thought it was anything but true. And then he's a victim and no matter how dare you, how fucking dare you. I love that phrase. I love the things. A great one.

How dare you? Oh my God. How this poor. Yeah. Do you see Ellen Page on Colbert? No. They were, they were showing it because it's all came up, but she was like same thing, like so, and fad, like so, like, you know, took a real, again, really good acting on her part.

He's a hero. Yeah. Call them a hero, right? Is that yeah. It was like a whole monologue she gave Uncle Barry. What do you, but why? Which is why the facts just wait for the facts. Yeah, but wait for the facts. But that's what they're saying now is all the politicians that will like fuck you. You believe this guy. He's a hero, right? Right.

Now they're going, well, what do you think now? I get away for the facts to come out. Well, shouldn't you have said that to fucking begin with? Yeah. This is the second time now, the, the, the kids there, one of the names, the, the mega hat wearing kids. Yeah. They did the same fucking thing.

Yeah, they jump. Not only are you fucking looking at so you're making a whole all the Democrats look like fucking idiots still. Yeah. Because you represent all of them. So anybody who's a fucking Democrat looks like a moron. Yeah. Because you're fucking jumping the guy and then you don't come back in a Paul Jones. You double down. Where is Kathy? What's her name? Fucking Griffin. Where the fuck are you after you tried to dox these people? Yeah. This fucking, I mean, I can't believe this fucking flake. I like her too. Cancer survivor. Yeah. Got a shit together. And then she comes out there trying

to sell like all of it. It's about selling papers and selling advertising. It's a four-profit media. It's not fake news. It's for-profit news. Can you do me one favor, Mike? Can you smash both TVs? Because we don't need them because it's useless. Just smash the TVs and throw the computer out the window. Okay. Okay. And just go sit over on the couch and have a good time. Fucking goddamn it. Useless. We could act it out.

Is it exact? Is there exactly anything you do? Is answering questions about his tour for the first time? Is there anything we can, can we move these fucking things? It's happening. We did it. Where? And the incident has sparked both an outpouring of support as well as questions about what happened that night on a cold Chicago street.

Jesse was very passionate in his account, detailing the racist and homophobic words he says his attackers use words that we cannot broadcast. Here's the first part of Jesse telling his story. I'm pissed off. What is it that has you so? Stop right now. I'm going to say this. He has great posture. I mean, I've never sat in a chair like that. Yeah, wow. You know what I mean? I mean? That is taught at some type of school or some, I mean, we should all sit like both of them.

Go ahead. Yeah. Angry. Is it the attackers? It's the attackers, but it's also the attacks. These eyes look so moist. It's like, you know, at first it was a thing of like, listen, if I tell the truth, then that's it because it's, then that's it, because it's the truth.

That's it. There's the only thing I like. Oh, how can you doubt that? Like, how do you, how do you not believe that? It's the truth. And then he should be not worried about it. If it's the truth, then let them do the investigation. Let them do a fucking just investigation.

Yeah, but they will be like, the non-emotional and then just come to an outcome of it. But they, but they, they will like give-emotional and then just come to an outcome of it. But they, but they were like, give me your phone. And I would shit too. Why? They have to cops like, give me your phone.

Well, these, yeah. This is hang on to me here. Maybe somebody didn't, maybe I would misunderstood. Maybe nobody fucking, why would you shit do this? Wait, wait, let me delete a few things, hold on.

You can't just do it. He's a star, right? You know what shit, he's got on that phone of crazy, his dick, some other people's decks and false kinds of fucked up shit. And he's gonna hand the phone over to some fucking asshole that looks like me. Hey, let me, and then what are they gonna do with it?

You got it, you, yeah, but they can't release any of that other, the private stuff. They do, they do it. Well, they do it. You get to the, you see the police. Yeah. What do you think Apple does when they fix your phone? They take your nudes. You know, these guys go in the back and look at your fucking hog picks. Yep.

Hog hog. Hog. Every time I walk into Apple now, the one in West, just the mall, they go. Hi. That's a nice mall. I live close by there. To yeah, I want to fool around. Gee, we have fun. So he's not going to watch new. She weirdo. Oh, you know, a freak.

He's hurt. I know. I'm not. I never cheated on my worth with a red head. I'm fine. Definitely going to help. Definitely worth it. Um, good.

Then it became a thing of like, oh, it's not necessary. I stopped one more second. He's got to, he's going to say one thing. All right. His lips are just outrageously sexy. Of course. Oh, my God. I am not gay.

He's a very, he's a good looking guy. I am not gay. I'm not gay. Super talented. I'm not gay, but he is fucking a lot. Great skin. Right fellas? Yeah.

Huh? That's a yes. I mean, if you and not, if you liked black people, sir. I mean, I've let him put a noose around my neck. He's cute. Same. I will. It's same.

Don't believe that this is the truth. You don't even want to see the truth. What happened that night, Justin? When I landed in Chicago and right now and it was like my uncle and he's also my creative director and he picked me up and then we got back to the apartment. There was no food and so I went out to...

He's like a lot of pinsies wearing. I was then to have a smoke like, a lot of pins. He's going to have a smoke. Walgreens was closed. This is like, fly fly by the way. You put in as many details as you can. I went to Walgreens. There was no food details that don't really matter in the story, but it seemed like this is like classic.

He should millenial it up a little bit. I went to the apartment and there was gluten. I was afraid. Like your story was long and boring, obviously, but there wasn't like we are. You are like the door was orange. The rug was blue. You just got to it. This snow was yellow. Yeah. Unlike his story, I had video evidence. Yes. That was a fat tub of shit going down the hill. Yes. That's the name of the podcast, by the way. A abbreviate that you clock sac ahead.

You're autobiography. That tub of shit. I got it. I'm fucking holy. Jesus Christ. Take another leaky sip. Those of you who sent your wife. That was nice.

I only have to get that. What's the implication on that one? I guess. I went to the subway and got the order during that time, a text in my manager thinking that he was still in Australia because he was on an Australian tour. See these fake details? He needs such an insane shit. Put as many details in the heart that doesn't matter.

Let him get his story out first, Joe. Sorry. But how about this, this investigator, this journalist, supposed journalist, just letting this fucking whole storyline shoot out without trying to punk any holes at all of it without asking any questions. He's not what this is. He hasn't got to anything yet. He just says, he's a fucking journalist.

But this is, like Mike said, this is a He just says she's a fucking journalist. But this is like Mike said, this is a piece. Let's have them on and this is she's not a fucking hard hit. It does she is she is she is not clearly. She's ABC news exclusive is hard hitting fucking news. It used to be it's not okay fine. I know it's not I'm saying it's not yelling that it is you said opposite of that. Yeah no, she should be that. It wasn't like that. That's the better. When she's supposed to be, and when she chooses to be, she is. But apparently when she doesn't, when she wants this fluff and not to get his story out, right, she just clams up and becomes his aunt. Of course, yeah, this is what's Have you eaten? When you can't eat, call me immediately.

And while he was on the phone, I heard, as I was crossing. They should have star in quotes. I heard Empire. I don't answer to Empire. My name ain't Empire. And I didn't answer. I kept walking and then I heard Empire. So I turned around and I said,

the did you just say to me? And I see the attacker masked and he said, this maggot country punches me right in the face.

So I punched his ass back. And then he started tussling, you know, it was very icy. Stop and we nobody tussles. Who the fuck is who's racist against black people and watches the show? Yeah. Yeah. But who's racist? Who's racist against black people?

And about a show. And then finds a guy on the string goes, oh, that's dude from Empire. And then goes up and fucking, and why is he wearing a mask? And how does he not know he's white? Yeah. It's like the mass singer. Yeah. How does he know? It's a new show. But how does he go as man? It's Ricky Lake. So it's too black, too black people.

Bobby, you're trying to get at the bottom of it. You guys mind? Yeah. Do you mind? Sorry. Sorry about the jokes. So so is in my audience. I, uh, I don't understand how he doesn't know what they're wearing masks. Yeah. You don't know what color they are through the, so the mask covered their eyelids, their mouths, they covered everything. Right. I don't understand what you fucking saying. You couldn't feel the privilege when you punched them back. He's not that recognizable, you know, no, I don't, I don't want to show, so I don't know. We're fighting fight.

Fuck, yes we get. My rib hurt the middle of it, I couldn't get a vine. I'm fine. Oh, shit. I think fighting there was a second person involved. Whoa, who was kicking me in my back. And, uh, I'm a bad person.

Just stopped. And they ran off and I saw where they ran. And the phone was in my pocket, but it fell and out. It was sitting there. And my manager was still on the phone. So I picked up the phone and I said, Brandon, and he's like, going on. And I said, I was just jumped.

And then I looked down and I see that there's a rope around my neck, which what? I had noticed it before you didn't stop. There you go. There's some hard hit in questions. One question. Yeah, one question, but maybe there were magicians. This might be just street magic going bad. I took my hat off and there was a rabbit. It was so fast.

How long did this all? It felt like minutes, but it probably was like three seconds, honestly. I can't tell you honestly. I took my hat off and there was a rabbit. It was so fast. How long did this all... It felt like minutes, but it probably... Eight seconds. ...and three seconds, honestly. I can't tell you honestly. I mean, I did time it. I noticed the rope around my neck and I started screaming.

She should be like, how long was it when you were practicing it? I was like, Description of the attack. I gave a body description and I, you know, because I saw this, but, and, you know because I saw this but and you know right there I didn't see I can't tell you what colored their eyes were I can't tell you and I did not see Anything except the second person I saw running away and the first person yeah, I saw What has stature I

Gave the description as best as I could you have to understand also that it's Chicago in winter. What? Can wear. It's very windy. It could have been a deep dish pizza. People question if you're walking around with a ski mask. Yeah, if it's not a fucking mountain creek. Yeah.

Nobody's walking around the ski mask. Nobody in the country. No, I think that's not true. What? I walk around with a thing over my face. I just started doing it. And that's because you're a vigilante. Okay. And you have fucking helps with family. You might not have podcasts, street justice. That's when utility bills you got to pay. I got a lot of video and they were able to capture an image of two people of interest. That's your odd small image.

And go for you walk. Look at him. The street attackers. They just, but they just did zanies. Their size or what, why do you feel that they possibly be? Stop. She have a cold. She's not getting a little stuff to, oh, yeah, that does stuff.

You have a little bit. The chemo makes you nasally. Oh, Robert. What? That was too much. I was a serious question. Guys, it was a serious, I was just asking a question. If you can't ask questions, you can't get answers. And you can evolve. I think chemo just makes you weak. Okay. Thank you for answering the question. Yeah. Go ahead and push the button. So does liberalism. Fucking bags released. I was like, we're getting somewhere. Liz Warren, 2020. I don't have any doubt in my mind that that's their

never did. I hate the term breaking silence. She sucks. She should be ashamed of herself. sucks. She should be a shander or so. She asked one question. It was, uh, it's, it's fucking, it's fascinating to me that this guy would actually do this on such a high level. You have to know you're going to get caught. You can't lie. You can't lie like that nowadays. You can't hide your lies. And your smile is a thin disguise. It's just like an old song. You'd realize you'd realize you just can't hide. You just can't hide your lie. Nies. You're lying. I It looks really bad that we all just watched that and now we're singing that song as whites.

That's the Eagles man. I don't know what I am. Yeah. Plus we have a Mexican. We have whatever one point. Yeah. Yeah. Puerto Rican.

I mean, the coach is rather fucking rather. Pencil. You're a very penciled angry. Lauren. It's very nice. A Columbus over there. Yeah, very pencil, bangery. Sorry. It's very nice. A Columbus over there. You guys on board, Warren 2020. Fuck you.

You really want her to win? Fuck yeah, bro. You're out of your mind. Fuck, she's not kind of you're out of shape. Yeah, you have no chin. Oh, can I borrow one of yours? Let's take some of my teeth too. Well, I have enough teeth. They're just not in the right order.

That was a funny exchange, Joe. Yeah, I wish we'd do that every Tuesday. Well, maybe if you did it during the day, shut up, stop complaining. You want to do the podcast during the day? Yes, let's do day. You do it at night. I will do it. Communion's work at night. Communion's will do it. Comedians work at night. You have all these people around.

Communians work at night. Communians work at night. Communians work at night. Okay. You are gay. Yeah, I can't fucking believe it. And you know, it's funny that that just happened with those other fucking kids and people just jumped to conclusions. And as soon as this happens again, they just jumped to fucking conclusions

the other way, like this guy's right. It was one way that way. Now it's this way. And, and, and none of us are fucking learning that. And then, and then everybody gets mad, oh, the press is lying. The press sucks. They're biased. No, they're not. No, they're not. Yeah, they are. They can't more about being the first to break the story than if it's accurate and celebrity should shut the fuck up. Just shut up. I want to go see your movie. I don't want you to fuck up me liking you. So now I'm not going to go see your fucking dumb movie. But aren't we doing that right now? What? Sharing our personalities.

What? Saying shut up and wait for the fucking facts. Yeah, that's not one way or another. So one way or the other? No, not the facts really. I didn't sit there and go, he's lying. No. I didn't sit there and go to my podcast, go, this guy's a piece of shit. I didn't sit there and say anything.

I let people who do that investigate and tell tell me the facts and the facts are he's aligning pieces of shit. That's the facts, Jack. And now we can, now we can judge this asshole. Yeah. Because the facts are coming out. Make me eat my own come. That's another ego's tune. No, but even we don't even have the judge on any side. Can I talk about? Can I talk? Please? Can I talk about this time? Michael, go to the floor. He's yours. He's gonna get, he's gonna get whatever punishment it is anyway. Do we have to go through where we're such emotional fucking babies in the society now, where we go fucking up and down with whatever, just let it play out.

And then whatever punishment he gets, let him fucking get it. We don't have to go, nobody has to roll into an outrage over it. It's like whatever it is, it is. I don't give a fuck what happens to him. He doesn't let. Give the shit. Yeah. But no, but let the fact that the process has play out. There's a process in place for this. I agree. Fucking justice is not on Twitter. It is not. It's terrible. It's a terrible way to educate things. When did the chick from Bravo become a fucking judge, jury, and executioner?

When did a redhead in her 70s start fucking? I think I did not mean, I'm not in my 70s. You know, I know, I know what happened here. Call one of the fucking comedians all of a sudden become, uh, because it's not about politicians. It's not about the truth. It's about what sells. It's about power, dude. It really is. It's about aligning yourself with your fan, whatever fan base pays your tickets. Right. You're going to fucking go and scream to the

hill to them because you know that a bunch of these guys aren't showing up to see her. Right. But you know, who is showing up to see her? Those fucking left lunatics. So just double the fuck down. Larry, the cable guy doesn't talk like that. Sorry, but double down, become that guy and make that fucking money. I think a lot of this stuff is how hard it is to write jokes and an act and put together an act. It's easier to just be like, ah, Trump sucks.

Yeah. And then, you know, I think it's an audience for that. Yeah, there's a big audience for it. I think it's a way to keep your audience until you come up with something new, until your next thing. So yeah, whatever you come up with is not going to be real and not going to be worked out hard.

It's going to be another, it's going to be smoke-a-mirror. I just, I don't understand. When comics should just be working on your act. I mean, your act, and if you... But if you're going to say something about politics, say it in your act to make it funny so that everybody can laugh. Not just one side, but that's hard to do. And people aren't gonna go that route.

It's so easy to pander, because there's Twitter and there's all the social media. Yeah, fuck Twitter, I don't even do Twitter anymore. They gave Joe Rogan a bunch of shit because he had the Twitter guy on. He didn't ask him a hard hitting question. I saw that. Who gives a fuck?

And he came on and he was like, maybe I was having an off day. I'll have him back. And I'll ask him like, he's real good about like looking at himself. I get so annoyed when people do interviews and then people get mad that they didn't ask him hard hitting questions. But Joe Rogan didn't go to journalism school. He's a fucking kung fu black pal. He can rip your head off.

He knows stuff about martial arts. And he had people eat fucking sheep intestines for a few years. I mean, what are we doing? He's a smart guy. Yes, but he doesn't have all the fucking answers. He has people on his show that have the answers. Yes. That's the whole. You know, you know, what are you fucking looking at him for?

A, you know, you should have asked, shut the fuck up. He's, that's not, he had the guy from Twitter on. Right. Yeah, the outrage comes from both sides. Both sides are very similar. I tell you, Trump's going to get reelected again. 100%. 100% Trump is going to do eight years. I don't know if he finishes his term. You're out of your mind. I don't think they got to take him out. Was once they get, they're climbing to get something real on him. And once they get it, they're going to fucking. I don't think Melania can do another four years. I think she's going to dress up like a turkey and try to get pardoned. I'm going to sleep out. I'm telling you right now he's going to get reelected. I don't think he wants it. I don't think he wanted this

one. He's going to get that. That's true. I don't think he wanted this one. Yeah. He's going to get out. That's true. I don't think he wanted this one. They keep doing this shit. All the fucking people on the middle are going to go. Democrats are fucking lunatics and all the Democrats and all the central Democrats like myself. Well, I had some, I lean right a little bit, but I was a Democrat. I lean right, I'm going to go, I can't, I can't look at the fucking guy, the, the, the Starbucks, the founder of Starbucks. How do you get more Democrat left than him?

Yeah. And he's like, I'm independent. I can't fucking buy into the socialism or shit. I can't buy into the shit that doesn't exist. It's not based in reality. And, and you guys are fucking losing your mind. That's crazy. When. When your own party deteriorates from inside, when Blueberg's like, yeah, I'm, you just lost 26,000 jobs in New York City. Blueberg was a Republican. Yeah, he was. And he went independent.

But he went independent, but he's very liberal and he has very liberal views. And when he ran New York City, he was telling people, don't drink Coke, FATSO. That's a very, Democrats, not a right wing. Hey, look, I'm doing whatATSO. That's a very, uh, Democrat. It's not a right wing. Hey, fucking knew what you want.

Okay. But he's not a Democrat nor was he during that time. But he is, he's a, he's a independent now. Yes. And it was when he was mayor and before that, he was a Republican. So he is, he is, uh, I was talking about the, uh, the guy from Starbucks. Right. Was a Democrat.

Right. Right. And I love, I love, I love Bloomberg again, because he is an independent, right. With this guy. Right. Right. And I love I love I love Bloomberg again, because he is an independent, right. With this guy is what I meant. So the radical leftist out of their minds. But the radical leftist, we're supposed to be where the thinking people were. The radical leftist is is is is took over the fucking whole left. Yeah. They're the loudest. And the left isn't speaking up. No, they're not. I think they're just the loudest. Yeah. Yeah, but exactly, but the left is speaking up and nobody gives a fuck.

And now you're going to have Trump again for the four years and they're going to fucking lose their mind. They're not connecting those two things. They're really not connected. Everybody's so immersed in their own ideology. Everybody in the right, everybody in the right is going, your Trump will be elected. They're literally saying it right now. I'm not a fine. I don't know anything about politics. I know what I've fucking watched on YouTube and the news and Tucker Carlson and CNN and I watch all the bullshit and it's there. Everybody's saying

Trump is going to be reelected because you guys are fucking lunatics. So, you know, and I think like the central like regular left people are not trying to rain in the far left because they don't want to look like they're against their own. They just lost 26,000 fucking jobs and they celebrated. They're like, good. She goes, we'll take the three billion that we didn't give Amazon and we'll put it back in the schools. When you fuck you were going to get you're going to get 27 billion off of that three billion is it's fucking math dummy and free shipping. Yeah, and get a shit in a half hour. It's in. Yeah, could walk over and get it dude. You live in Queens. You could order something on fucking Amazon and 15 minutes later. You could have got a bike. Yeah, but my rent was probably gonna go up.

That's true. A bunch. Yeah, but if you bought a place over there, you would have made a lot of money. Do you have that kind of money? money. Do you ever got a money? Yeah. Do you have that, Connie? I do not have that kind of money. Maybe if Bobby paid for the podcast. Thank you for the free coffee, by the way. I didn't even get a free coffee. That's Gabby, I think.

More. Yeah. No, I don't buy those. I just get them. She's a Jew. She hits me up every soon as she's out of the room. I'm immediately leaving. Oh, literally.

Immediately. She goes, okay, great. What's in the podcast? Do she's our, ding on my phone? Give me the money, fat. I thought it was guys. Let it go.

I don't know. Um, now were you jumped on the way to get the coffee and somebody called you a Jew? Yeah. So I went, workers, you should do an interview on the beach. And that's what you got that outfit at the police station. This is a hospital gal. Gabby, she really does dress like an asshole.

Gabby went vintage blue sweatshirt. She dresses like she's she's in the show. Stomp. You're that pretty. You can wear weird sweatshirt. Get off her dick. I thank you. That was girl on girl. Fuck it. Love. Hello, fight. That was girl on girl. Fuck it. Love. Hello, fight. Well, I mean, Joe, you're, you're a lefty. I'm a, yeah, I mean, I'm a liberal, but I'm not a Democrat. Go ahead. Yeah. Say it. Not proud of this new left, but politically I line with, uh, did you not want Amazon in your town? I didn't follow that story that much, but I thought it was going to send rent skyrocketing. They weren't going to pay taxes. I don't think they were going to be New York City jobs. They're going to bring in people.

You're having my 20 out of all. What Amazon and like a town where I'm from, youngstown, Ohio, everything's dying. Exactly. We have plenty of jobs here. It's a booming economy in New York City. It's like more sense to be in a place that could use an account. Sir, old cities. Sir, you look like you're shitting your pants or you disagree with Joe. What do you say?

I don't think it's going to gonna affect what do you say? Joe? What do you say? What's your name? Pete Peter. What do you say, Peter? Uh, say it. Speak into the mic. Say it. I agree on a lot of like as far as Trump getting reelected for sure. Yeah. I mean, as an example, I'm a podcast host of my own thing. Right. I won't plug it. Hey, plug it. It's called conservative. Oh, so you're conservative.

No, no, no. It's so I have liberals. I have comedians, musicians, people on the right. Do you agree? I'm from Sam Faxxers where they do the abortions. So you're conservative, but you suck a little peck upck up. I would say like, can I like gaze and guns at the same time? Why do I have to pick a side? You know, you can fucking be a gun. Gaze and guns. That's a name of that. It's a great punch.

I'm gonna put that out there. That's the name of the, we can get, we'll get fake clicks on it. The gazing guns will put his face up with his fucking handlebar mustache. Yeah, like I mean, he'll be the he'll actually be the gun guy and Joe's face will be the gay. Sorry, because you just get a look at. But I, I always figure I take it as it comes, you know, I mean, take each home issue. That's what she said. I'm out. No, I take it as it comes. You know, I mean, I take each home. That's what she said. I'm out. No, I take it. Issue is a nice, you know, that's great. I'm glad you're I'm gonna listen to your podcast now. God damn fucking ninkin poop. You didn't say shit.

You didn't say shit. You had your moment. You failed your fucking neutral. So God hates neutral people. Did you know that? You're going to hell because you're never side. You look, Joe's talking, your eyebrows are going up like you fucking shit in yourself. You get the mic and you clam up your fucking the band's over there. Fucking sissy. What what about you fucking nurse? Here we go. Oh boy, we opened it up think there's a lot of things. Here we go. Oh, boy. We open it up like it's a town hall. Yeah.

You say that Trump's going to get another for you. Yes. But the moment he doesn't get what he wants, he shuts everything down. Yeah. Right, baby. All we did was pay for security for him for the rest of his life. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. And then you've got Bernie who comes in and he's going to get all the other people and wrangle them in. You think Bernie's going to win? I didn't say it was going to win, but Bernie actually turned far left. Yeah. Now he's doing all, and now he's talking all kinds of weird shit. And his, he's, but the new left hates him now. They hate him. They, but he just agreed with them. There's a newer left. The, the, the liberal pain of now. He's a white guy. He's an old white guy and there's sexual harassment in his campaign that he was supposed to be responsible for. He's a straight way to mad about him. They hate him. Why do we hate white men?

Yeah, that's a Gabby. I love him. I love him too. Cool drink of water. Yeah, even a short drink of water. What about a tall gangly? Yeah, drink of all the water. Coke dehydrated. About a short stocky. What about a sip of ginger beer? Yeah, in a fat stoke glass. With a broken glass. I don't know.

Who gives a fuck? Also, it's a long time before the election. I mean, he could literally be in peach. He could die. He could be Jail. I mean, the lot can happen. I mean, the election is a year and a half away. If you had a vote today, if it was Bernie or Trump, who would you vote for? Okay, Michael. I would vote for any person other than Donald Trump. Yeah. Yes. I would vote for Donald Trump. I wouldn't vote for Trump, but Bernie, I'm not a Bernie guy. I would throw my vote away on whatever libertarian. Okay. How about Mike? Machine Mike, Donald Trump or Bernie, who would you vote for? I would never vote for Latino. Never. It's pronounced Latino. You know, fast that wall would go up if there was a Mexican president, put that shit up. I don't want my fucking cousin coming. Nothing.

That's a great thing about the very conservative. Yeah, a lot of American Hispanics are very conservative. And they don't want Mexican Mexicans over here. Because they don't want abortions. Back to Cubans are also because they came from a communist regime. And they anything that goes close to that to anything to the left, they don't like the old Cubans, the new Cubans and abortions and guns. Catholics. Yeah, the Catholic countries. What does he done to get another four years?

No, it's terrible. It's ridiculous. And also, stop, stop, stop. If you, if, sorry, I just got distracted. She p-caught her breasts. So does, I missed. No, I was like, what is she? She literally was like, this is hard. I could just put them on a table. No, anyways, I could put mine on the table too. Big whoop. I have better nips than you too. Probably. I'm gonna throw up. Um, but what happened, but he, he, you know, to say, and I think, you know, look, I didn't vote for him, but I think he's done everything he said he was going to.

What? What? What? What? Build the wall? What? Have the Mexicans pay for it? Lower taxes.

Black people have more jobs they ever had. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh Bill DeWal was the main thing and the Mexican is going to pay for it. Yeah, but he's got nobody's got a he's got a that's what the Mexican pay for it. Hang on a second. The Mexican pay for that doesn't that point doesn't matter. No, so no, but that was the number one thing. Stop yelling. I'm not sure.

Mexican. This is the problem. You're saying he's the problem because he was going to do this. This is the problem with the left because they get so emotional. I have no motion in the game. You were just trying to go about the new story and Robin Roberts and fucking everything else. Yeah, because I don't like liars. I don't like. Trump is the fucking biggest liar. And you're lying yourself. If you say he's fucking done

everything. He's going to do it. You say you're doing it earlier and you'd be working. You never correct. We have see how crazy is. Of course. See how crazy is. Look at his face. He's spitting in my mind. He's been in the whole time. He's been in the whole time. He's spitting in my my whole time. You look at your fuckers. But it's what happens with the far left. Joe is not

the Joe. I don't think he's Michael. Michael. Or then you want me. I don't think you're the fucking wrong. Michael. You're a fucking dude.

Far left now. He's named calling. I'm one of his friends. And he's I mean, I never said I haven't said anything bad about it. By the way, if I was far left, I said at least 50 calling this show episode, named calling, kicked out of the fucking society calling, call me an asshole. I called you a dreaming at me, said some of my wife, I'm pretty sure that was in there. It was about something about your kid. And it's about the wall. Now, if you let me finish before you go ahead, flip out. I spit it. I spit it.

I'm not spending anything. I think he's spinning it as long as he gets the, as long as he's building the wall. This is what this whole thing is about. If he, if the Democrats, they don't get the wall. He doesn't get to use that to get reelected. If he says, fuck you, I went out, they wouldn't let me do it, but I did it anyways. Even if it's in court being sued and it never gets done,

he can say he pulled the trigger and they stopped it. I did it. That's all it is about. It's not about him building a wall. It's about he said he was gonna do it and he has to, he has to get it done. And he can now, but he can now say that he did everything in his power to get it done. And the only thing that stopped

it was the Democrats. That's against them. It takes it all off of him and puts it on them. But he hasn't done it. But he said before he, but he did because he's he he did what? Listen, you know, I'm listening. Yeah, no, I'm listening because you're done it. Because you're emotional right now. Bring the emotion down. I am. No, you're not.

Do you know what I'm saying? That he doesn't, he's saying he's doing everything he can. He I, I, what is it? That the the emergency, whatever. Right. I did it. I want to a state of emergency. They wouldn't let me do it. I went to a state of emergency. They wouldn't let me do it.

I went to a state of emergency. We're building the fucking wall. Doesn't matter. Right. Now he's going to, he said, I'm going to get sued. They're going to assume here. We're going to go this. We're going to go here.

We're going to go to the state and maybe we'll get, and blah, blah. This is what's going to happen. Now that I did it, but I did it. He did it. He did it in his brain. And when he, and all he says when he sells it, he did it. Yes. As much as he could know.

So, okay, so you're saying he's going to keep lying and they'll keep, keep believing him. He didn't lie because he actually, no, he, he's, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's playing, no, he's playing it to everything he can to say that he's making every effort to me. Okay. Okay. You started by saying, don't get mad at me because I'm not Trump. You started by saying he's done everything he said he was going to do.

Yes. What he said he was going to do over and over and over and over and over again was build a wall. And the Mexicans would pay for it. Right. The Mexicans are definitively not paying for it, but he's building a wall. But he's building a wall hasn't done it yet. But he's building it in his brain. Okay. He hasn paying for it. But he's building the wall. But he's building the wall. Hasn't done it yet. But he's building it in his brain.

Okay, he hasn't done it. I just amand what you said. You know, you haven't done what he said. I didn't say I'm building the wall. He said it. You don't get it because you said he's done everything. You think I'm defending Trump? Someone else pick up.

You said that because you're wrong. Mike, everyone's wrong. Everyone's wrong. That's why nobody's agreed with you talking about you. Nobody's agreeing with you. That's wrong. They all are wrong. That's why nobody's fucking with you. This is your order. You said it. No, this is not what is getting said right. And you're fucking wrong.

And you're fucking getting crazy. Settle down. Fuck face. You're yelling. I'm not talking about. Yeah, I'm yelling. Give it to you. Give it to me.

Give it to me. So shut the fuck up. We want to do this. Is that what you want to do? You want to do it. No, you did it, Joe. I didn't. You want to do the fucking thing.

No, I don't. No, I don't. Now you blame me for you yelling at me. Now that's what you're doing. You yelled at me for 10 minutes and I told you you yelling and now you're blaming me. Now you're now you're doing some mid 10 minutes. I don't care what time was you're yelling at me, Joe. And then I yell back and somehow it's my fault. You know, so fucking crazy. That is. Let me know what you understand how crazy it is. Yes. Let me know when I can speak. You just speak anytime you want. Let me know. You know, just get out crazy. Yes.

Let me know when I can speak. You can speak anytime you want. And you did, you, you did, we're hoping it would go in this direction. No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. How are you saying you're a lefty? You're a liberal. Joe, I'm trying to go.

You're really think that I would want you to fucking really? Yes. You know, this is good podcast. You're crazy. You know, it's good. You're fucking out of your mind. Also, can I do fucking back? You're fucking crazy. You're nuts.

Can we go back to the thing? Can we go back to the thing? Yes, go back to the thing. I'm not Trump, so just know that. You're keep saying that. I'm not talking about Trump. I'm talking about your statement. Yeah.

You said you said everybody was here. You said he's done the things. He said he was going to do. My point is, very obviously and very clearly, he has not. So what you said is incorrect. And no, wait, no, it's not incorrect. If you, see, so you can't, no, but you can throw your hands up like a little bitch when I just try to explain myself.

So you ask me a question and then I try to explain, is you're like a little fucking to your own. So go the fuck up. No, no, no, you can't a little fucking to your own. So go the fuck up. It's not gonna say that you're not. Just say you're right. He hasn't built the wall. I'm not gonna say what you want me to say. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say what the fuck I wanna say.

I'm not gonna say what you want me to say. So you don't have like a little fucking child to throw your hands up. Okay. Okay. When I said, when I said he's done everything that he said he was going to do. Okay. If you go through what he said he was going to do. Yes. If you listen to the people that are backing him, if you listen to Fox news or anybody that works on the

Trump thing, he has done everything he said he was going to do. Go to the list. According to them. According to them. I'm not according to me, Joe. I don't fucking know politics. I don't know what the, if you listen to any of the shows or anybody that's backing Trump or saying that Trump's going to win because of what's happening and they say he's done everything he said he was going to do and they list everything you said you can bring it up on fucking you. That's what you said originally. What did I say? You said that, let me ask Mike. Do you want to see on them? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you did say you said he said he did everything he said he's going to do. But what you meant is according to their, according to the people that's different. Follow him. That's different. Yes.

I agree. If you're not saying that he's doing that, he will agree with that. But I was saying what they said. I'm not saying what I said, his opinion. How the fuck? I'm not sitting at this. I'm not sitting there going, dude, I'm not sitting at the thing. He's done everything he said he was going to do. He's, he said he built the wall. He's done it. He's done everything he said he was going to do. I built, I did what I had to, I even did this. I'm state of emergency to build the way. Now it's on them. Okay.

If you're saying that the people, you fucking lost your mind. Just let me speak. I will, but don't fucking yell at you. But you have changed what you originally said. No, me. Why are you shaking? You recorded it.

Why are you shaking your head? We recorded it. Why? Why? If there was a misunderstanding. He misunderstood what you said. Right. You said it that way. You said no. Is the actual court? Am I am am I crazy? Am I crazy? Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand what I was saying? I'll get caught up. Yes or no? Yeah. Mike, what about you? I know what you were saying. Thank you. But I understand where he's coming from. It was some yelling. You're fired. You're going to be much more specific. I'm not amending it. You flipped out and we're having

the conversation. You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I said, he's done everything he said, he was going to do. We were talking about why Trump's going to be a reelected. Why they said he's going to be reelected. I said, they keep saying he's going to get reelected. Everybody on the right is saying he's going to get, here's why he's done everything he said he was going to do. You said, no, he has it.

I said, yes, he has. And you go through the fucking list of shit that he said he was going to do. And employment rate down, jobs for black people, the taxes are down, people making money, businesses back in the US, all those lists of things, the wall, he built the, he's getting the white, did everything he could to get the wall. He still is.

All that stuff, he can go now when he goes to run and say, look, this is, this is facts. These are stats. I did it. I did it. Everything I said I was going to do. I did. He can do that. He's going to say that. Bobby's not saying, I'm not saying that. He's saying that. Why the fuck would I say it? Okay. And this is the problem is that people get fucking emotional over. Who's shit? I is that people get fucking emotional over. Who's shit? I would say you're both very emotional. I wasn't though. I wasn't. I was very calm and I was trying to calm you like, dude, you yelling.

You flipping out and you will flip it out. I was trying to remain calm. If your statement is that the people that follow him believe everything he says and are going to vote for him again. Of course I agree with that. Yeah. So did you get like your point that the wall is not as of this moment fully built. Therefore, he didn't build it. My point was, if I may just, I'll say it again, what you said, and I understand now what you meant, but what you did say, it's recorded.

We were all here. What you said was he's not saying stop staying that fucking passive aggressive shit, Joe. You're being passive aggressive now. And if you want to play that fucking game, how can you do it again? When I was aggressive, I can't get that. Passive aggressive, same shit. Why do you just be regular? My friend, Joe, and fucking talk like a regular fucking guy without your passive aggression or aggression. We can do that and have a real comfort fucking station from who the fuck say it? Who you are as my friend? How's that? I'm trying

to be myself. I'm sure you're being passive aggressive trying to fuck with me in little angles. And I'm gonna let you get away with that. You're out of your mind. I think that everyone now you might fucking rib hurts really bad. It seems like it's doing better. It's fucking. You fucking. We haven't been laughing. So that's my fucking rib is. No, by the way, we're doing what the left does. There's no more jokes. We're just yelling. I fucking. Well, let's watch the rib videos. Because it's yeah, it's my thumb again. That's probably yeah. What about you? It is your fault. But what you said was he's going to get reelected because he's done everything. He said he was going to. Yes, he didn't say is he's going to get reelected because he's done everything he said he was going to.

Yeah. But you didn't say is he's going to get reelected because all these people believe anything he says, even though he has not. That's not what I didn't want to say that. Okay. I didn't want to say that. I was saying what I was saying. And then you attacked me like I said it and I tried to fucking explain it to you.

And you didn't. You went on a wall thing of some semantics about the wall and I was trying to explain that and you was still yelling at me and that's when I decided to fucking yell back at you. And then that's when you pull back it was like your yelling, which is fucking weird. And then you passive aggressive, which is fucking queer to me. Okay. All right.

So that's what it is, Joe. Great. Well, now we agree that yes, that you're an asshole. He's lying. You do only an apology. He's lying and the people that believe him. But he'll be able to justify that he said he's going to be able to do everything. He's going to justify it. Listen to his. My thing was, is the whole point is he can say, I did it. And they're not going to be able to say you didn't. Right. Because they tried to make it. No, we're not giving, we don't give him anything. We don't stand for him. We don't do shit. Anything for him. We give him nothing.

So when it comes time to reelection, we didn't, he didn't build the fuck. He didn't do anything he said he was going to do. He didn't build it. We didn't give him the money for the wall. And he's going to go, I did, I tried, I did it. It's up there. It's waiting for them to sign. It's, it the balls in their court. Right. But frustrating though is he ran on the campaign that the Mexicans were going to pay for it.

And no one really seems to bring that up that he's not keeping a campaign promise. We all know Mexicans don't pay for shit. Mexicans are breaking it down. I know Mike for 10 years. He's never bought a meal. But he acts like he's keeping a campaign promise when in reality he's breaking sh**. He's breaking it. I know Mike for 10 years, he's never bought a meal. But he acts like he's keeping a campaign promise when in reality, he's breaking a campaign. But Mike, Mike can deliver a meal. Oh my goodness.

And by the way, conservatives, he can eat a meal. Conservatives are supposed to be financially conservative, not spending billions on a wall that's completely on that. That's a great point. And it goes against everything conservatives are supposed to do. But that's a great point. Where are these tea party people now? Obama couldn't raise the debt limit.

They were given them a hard time about that. They want to build a $5 billion wall and where are all these tea parties? And the debt is going up. Yeah, but Obama and Clinton all them wanted to build the wall. They all wanted the wall too. They ate this video of them all going, we need a wall. We need to build a wall. We need to have, it's video of all of them.

You understand it doesn't fucking matter the fucking wall, build the wall. Don't build the wall. He's not the first one to mention it. No, but he's really, he's really going hard at it as a cornerstone of his. Because if he doesn't, if he doesn't do it, like Joe said, if he doesn't pull the trigger and say, state of emergency, and he just doesn't get the wall, and he didn't try everything he could. He didn't get it. If they really want to do something about illegal immigration, what they'll do is they'll shut down all of the businesses that hire illegal immigrants. That would fucking your right business. I mean, they would just shut the, but that's not realistic because the restaurant

industry in New York alone would completely shut shut. Of course it would. It would shut down. So they're not having a realistic conversation. What a tie in restaurants going to survive no Mexicans. Why are we talking about Italian? We're about to. Yeah. Of course, we're going to get dollar pizza from what we're going to get. Look at Mexicans, we run everything in city. It's not a real estate conversation. It's not a realistic conversation, but it's all about I said this. I got to get this done because it's the two sides controlling it this, I got to get this done because

it's the two sides controlling it. The far left is like open borders. And the far right is like, we need a wall and drones because gangs are coming in to murder our children. The far left does not say open borders. Yeah. People on the far left are saying far left they do. But even the far, even the far, I've even heard a lot of people saying open borders. It's never, that's the word. Go on Twitter. But what what what they want Twitter. Let them all in. Yeah, let them all. What they want. I don't see a lot of that.

It used to be like in the cities. Are you crazy? There's a ton of that open borders. Yeah, let them in. Yeah. Let them all. And that's what America is founded on. Let them in.

We let the Italians. We let the Irish. Why are we stop? Yeah, why are we stopping? It's an immigrant. Everybody's an immigrant. Let them all in. Politicians aren't saying that.

No, the politicians aren't. It's usually just people. And if you mentioned, kind of border control, you're racist. Yeah, that's true. Right. Well, here's the thing. If you're looking for legals all the time, then you can't try to find drug trafficking and human trafficking.

Your teammates is looking for people with just papers. What they used to have, or people used to be able to go back and forth, work over here, go back to Mexico, not cause any problems. Now, they have to live over here legally and send the money over because they can't go back and forth, work over here, go back to Mexico, not cause any problems. Now they have to live over here legally and send the money over because they can't go back and forth because they're afraid they won't be able to come back to their job. So it used to just be easier to have the guy go back and forth. No problems. Can they just spend no the money? They want to go back into their country. They didn't want to live here at first. Now they're forced to live here. Yeah. My, my, my, yeah, the

Mexicans largely don't want to be here. But things Now they're forced to live here. Yeah. Yeah, the Mexicans largely don't want to be here, but things are so bad in their country. Like, and people are like, oh, it's corrupt here too. It's like, dude, we're having a different conversation. There's no clean water. Journalists will get murdered. There's people who don't want to be the sheriff of a town because they'll get killed by a gruntel.

It's like, you not even on his level. And alcohol go. Not all those same workers don't want to live here, especially that the migrant farm workers who have to live in a trailer with 10 other dudes like they don't want to live They love their country. They love Mexico. It's just that they don't love the way that they're being governed Yeah, we don't suck is not big here like it is there Right the weather isn't as good here. Yeah, you can't fight chickens here. It doesn't work. You can fight chickens in Mexico Chicken's right each other. Yeah. Fucking punch it in the face. That was the best.

That's a turkey. All right, we're gonna end this podcast before we do that. laughable.com. Yes. We love it. Do we? Are you guys gonna end this, friends? Is this gonna? Yeah, I'm gonna never talk to this piece of shit. I'm gonna. Yeah, with down into that. Come on, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I deleted his fucking number out of my phone. Fuck him. It's 781.

No, I fucking love John. I'm looking at him. Why didn't you get him? I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm It's the nature of the shit that it doesn't even fucking matter. Taking it. You talking about as soon as Trump's name comes into something, yeah, people fucking hate him so bad. I don't get it. It doesn't affect me like that. Fine, I can talk about him. He did this.

That's good. He didn't do that. Okay, he was gonna have the Mexicans pay for it. They're not. Of course, I've heard it before. I've heard the saying, I've been in life 48 years. I've heard President Obama talk about a wall. I heard Clinton talk about, I heard Hillary talk about it. Everybody talks about this fucking, it's the same shit. Same shit every fucking time. But back in the day, it was more like about abortion was a

big thing. Like you don't hear about abortion. Abortion's big now. He's making it a cornerstone of his campaign. There's a guy in Virginia that wants third term abortions. Wow. That means that guy, because I don't know, but he's a, what's his name? He just got, he was wearing blackface. That what's that guy's name? They caught in his, in his high school photo. North. Yeah. He wants late term abortion. So the baby comes out in the doctor and the woman decide whether to kill it or not. But it's, it's if the mother is in a fucking grave danger that they're both gonna. The baby is like really ugly.

It's not. Yeah, exactly. If the baby comes out and it's not, it's a red head. Take it. It's a tail. But it was a thing. Like, but I, you know, you should abortion. Yes, you should be able to get an abortion, but you should not, it should be seldom used.

You should have the right to do it, but it shouldn't be used like a fucking pill. Right. Yeah. Which is what things like plan parenthood do. Yes. They plan parenthoods. They prevent abortions and they unplanned that. But they keep getting the funding cut.

Yeah. So yeah, I think we're on the left, most of it anyway, socially, like we're all left wing socially, you know, but it's just the far left is like, yeah, but you can't even have a conversation about you bring up Trump and you agree with him. Oh, you somebody thinks you agree with him and you're fucking being screamed at. Yes. Yeah. Uh, the, uh, that is, he was correct about the third-comer portion thing about being the mother's life at risk or the baby's already dead inside her. It's that for those situations. Yeah. Because right now, legally, even if it's not going to come out alive, he's still

else to have it. Yeah. He's not allowed to just get rid of it at that point. He disagrees. I live in Virginia. So I'm sorry to hear that. So what happened was, um, a councilwoman proposed a bill, similar to the New York bill, which basically says, if it's a third term, it's up to the health of the mother as defined as her physical health and or mental health. So that's very subjective, right? How many pull-ups? But the idea that women, they get spun into this idea that people really want to kill their

babies as nine months pregnant, which you get spun to. And that's not what people are doing. It's not like people are like, at the last minute, you know what? I'm going to get rid of this baby and it's legal to kill it. Nobody wants that. That's what it gets spun to very quickly. Yeah. I asked the religious party.

Nobody wants an abortion. No, no girl. There's no girl that gets an abortion. It's Trump doesn't cry. Yeah. I mean, the fifth one, she probably doesn't affect it too much, but the first two. Yeah. And the fourth one is free. It's like a mish cat. The first one is a punch. But you have to get the punch. I started a bitch. Imagine it did a punch cut in a portion. It's just a little baby's head and you know, I'm yeah, it's uh, you know, this is the shit we should get out of.

I don't, I don't talk about it. I don't fucking, I don't like, I like talk. I don't like this. Jess, I don't like the, I hate the news. Cause it's feeding us all. Also social media is very, very bad. Social media is terrible. Where I'm at once a day in the morning to post stuff,

like all my friend stuff. And then I don't look at it. I stick to Instagram. I don't do Twitter anymore. Instagram is best. I like Instagram. I like people's lives. I like people's wives and husbands and kids and fun shit and video.

I like silly. I like to be silly. I watch animals sleep with each other. I like silly shit on social media. As comics, that's what we should be doing. We should be making people laugh, right? You know, and yet, okay, you should make people think okay, I get you if you got a joke at the end of it I don't want to throw it out there and then it's like a narrative. Yeah, it's like what are we doing?

Yeah, and that shit doesn't work on the road by the way It's like I don't know who can take their narrative their story on the road Well, go to MacGubbies and they they got a babysitter and they had two drink minimum and they not trying to hear you're fucking, they're better be jokes in there somewhere. Two things. It's also everyone talks about the new left that I'm not a part of and I resent being acting like I'm a fucking punk. Sometimes it makes me fucking really crazy.

Well, it makes me actually want to not be friends with you. We've we've already seen how crazy you get. So I'm sorry. I think I but I apologize. I want to see you get that crazy again. Hey, it makes. Um, it's everyone talks about privilege and white privilege and male privilege. To me, this is the height of privilege of being up like the political correctness is like getting mad at a comedian telling jokes in a fucking comedy seller is the ultimate

privilege. Like my mother is struggling to pay her fucking mortgage. She doesn't give a fuck who tells jokes or what they say. My mother is the same way. It's insane. And then the other thing on Twitter, these comedians, they post all these statements on Twitter. And then they post jokes next to it. So then it becomes a joke could be a statement.

It's all mixed together. If it's like we got to impeach Trump and vote for this person. It's part of your brand. And then the next one is, oh, I took a shit on a fucking log. Then it becomes, if I write, yeah, fucking this black, blah, blah, blah.

Oh, this is a statement. Cause this guy's making state, we gotta, it should be jokes on Twitter and fucking statements on a, get aside Personal fucking Twitter handle. Will you write vote for Liz Warren? What she should do in 2020? Fuck Liz Warren. Don't vote for her. She's from she's not And she's but again, that's another problem is that'll keep getting brought up

It's like she made it. She said she was fucking native. Who gives a fuck? Who cares? You have a politician to phoneies, all of them. Of course. Of course. They all bullshit. They tell you what you want to hear. I don't know why it's shocking. I mean, Trump is a piece of shit. So, so wasn't JFK. He was good. So was it. Bill. I was gonna say he was. Yeah, exactly. Women. Exactly. If it's hot, do you understand? I'm gonna put it good for you. It's good. So was it Bill? Bill? Yeah, exactly women. Exactly. If he's hot, see, do you understand what's good for you is good. Bill Clinton was a piece of shit. Sexual fucking pervert. Right? Nobody gives a shit. He was so hot. So he could play the dad. Yeah. The people shouldn't give a shit about that.

Look at these. You'll give a fuck about these two. Both of these girls would fucking. She wouldn't, she wouldn't march for nine days in a woman's march about fucking Bill Cosby and Havry Weinstein. Bill Clinton, she's joking about. It's what's good for you. It was good. I feel like I joke about all of them.

And I wouldn't march for that long, because I have bad knees. None of my shoes, none of my shoes like a marching. Because you're on the most of the time. How do you have bad knees at 21? It's great to fast. Really? It's not not too much.

It's all. You know. Oh, you guys, fuck, you should have your own podcast going. Uh-huh. Every time a woman comes on, you tell me that I should have a podcast with her because I want you out. I'm sick of having. I would.

Maybe you get a sad person, Mike, red, white and blue. Hey, are you sad? Mike, look at Mike. Do I come off a set? Sometimes. Look at that face. Oh, that, Mike. Yeah, he always looked at these crying or he just woke up. Yeah, he looks sad. I just needed someone said, I guess you're not sad. I'm sorry. I joke intense. Joey done. Yeah, I'm intense. What? It's your show. I mean, it's our show, obviously, but it was a good show. Yeah, it was like a concept. I was rolling.

Disc one was comedy. Disc two was drama. This show was just like your rib accident. It was like exciting and then boom. Red fans. My rib is literally throbbing from yelling at you. It's a dumb move, but you got my adrenaline up. You put your phone on.

Huh? I think it was good. It was a good example of how people get heated. I don't I know people who love each other, being able to come together. Yeah. And then you end that love. You see both sides. What if I never talked to Joe again?

That would be bad for the show. If I'm thinking of Gabby, that was really sweet of you. And I agree and I appreciate it. Well, both you can go fuck yourselves. Okay. I like my gap. My, my ghost, you know what? I take that back. Stay, Gab. Look at Mike's face. I can really come down to Earth quick. Is this the part of the podcast where Bobby X communicates?

Everybody. Everybody who wants to just quit the show. Started a new podcast called Just Dude. To not you know what? You get sent off into quicksand. All right, I just pull a billber. I'll be all everybody. And they said, and I was like, fuck that. You were like, what?

I know, Burr. Stop it. Woo. I'm going to help. All right. Listen. Yeah, there's been a good one. This has been going, Joe, what do you got besides anger issues?

I do. I'm fucking Boston Irish dog. I'm coming up Fort Worth, Texas, Hyenas. What is it? February 28th through March 2nd. Watch out for quicksand. Probably lots of the Fort Worth people on my debate there. Yeah, but who is?

There you go. It's a modium, the modium, Maryland, McGubbies, March seven, eight, nine, March eighth, the anniversary of Ali Frazier, blacks, Austin on my birthday, April six is my birthday. I'm a large penis. April, three. That's the town you should be in right there. Cap city, love cap city. I love those fucking alternative people there. Great towns. They take a photo with you at the end of the show that week, right? At the end of your week of the show, they take a photo with you and the whole photo, right? Oh, sorry. Maybe they didn't last year. They didn't want me to do it.

They do with some comics and punch me. Hey, clubs, if you take a photos at the end of the show with the comic, do it with all of us. Yeah. How about when they got the green room is like peppered with pictures of everybody and then they don't do one for you. Oh my God. I've been playing the improv for 20 years. They got everybody on the walls of dead or never played the club. Yeah.

Buffalo Heliums like that. It's fucking every headliner and then I've worked there three times. They've never even taken a photo. Yeah. Bring a photo. Bring a head shot. Yeah. Maybe I'll tape it up. Go Good. Joe. What else you got? comedian joellis.com and at joellis comedy on Twitter and

I'm just going to be going to be doing that in Tifa March in Oregon soon, right? No. I think I think of all of us. I spend the most time talking about these fucking people. Well, Tuesday's with stories. Yeah, and Tuesday's with stories, which we again, if anyone ever hears it, they're going to think I'm an alt-right fucking maniac. So I both sides hate me. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's, I take great pride in it, actually.

I think both sides hate us all. Yeah, that's true. Mike, what do you got? I think they hate themselves. I think they hate themselves. Great. Here. Thank you. Wow.

What a nice website. Strong bottom lip. Atomic mic V on all social media platforms. One of the great here. Thank you. Wow. What a nice website. Strong bottom lip. Atomic mic V on all social media platforms. One of the greatest podcasts. Thank you. I had such a blast on it. That was great. That was so fun.

I can't hit some notice. Holy shit. No disrespect podcast on the gas digital network. Please listen to it. Watch it. And my dates, Mike veckyone.com, please, please, I'm gonna do that Midwest run that you did with Aaron Putnam. I just did it.

Did you just do it? I just did Cleveland, the Winchester and then Burning Bridges. I'll be in Chicago, Illinois, March 28th. And I did Chicago Fort Wayne, Indiana, March 29th, the Tiger Room. I did that. Cincinnati, Ohio, March 30th, Caffs, Brew, Poreum, and Columbus, Ohio, March 31st Woodlands Tavern. This all Midwest dates. Go see him.

Go see him. A lot of my fans. Listen, thank you. A lot of my fans show. I mean, we sold out two shows, Burning Bridges. We sold out Winchester. It's awesome. So, and we did the last one in Chicago and.

And last year, the little bit. No, no, no, Chicago and, yeah, last year was the other one. No, no, no, Chicago and, that factory. No, shut up, Mike. Chicago and, what's the other place I did? That was a while ago. No,

what did Pittsburgh and, Oh, yeah. Winchester. What's the other place I did? Did Chicago laugh, factory, and then the next thing I did, Cleveland, didn't you go to the, Michigan? Oh,

Lansing, Lansing, a lot of fans, a lot of fans. So show us your four Wayne Cincinnati and Columbus. Please come out. Mikevechion.com, at Comic Mike V on social media platforms. Yes. And thanks for coming on. Thank you for having me. Yeah, you were great. It was a lot of fun. It was really fun. Yeah, you fit right in. I didn't have to worry about me. Yeah, you were great. It was a lot of fun. It was really fun. Yeah, you fit right in. I don't have to worry about you. Thank you. Yeah, I didn't have to sit here and fucking help you. You just did your thing very, come back on any time.

Oh, thank you. By far the funniest woman on the show today. Wow. Thank you. Oh, so I'm a registered Democrat or fun fact registered. I am. I am a registered Democrat too. But now I'm more of a libertarian.

I want to fucking independent. Yeah, you should Independent. You don't need no man. Hmm. Yeah, well, you act like a lefty. I really don't you screamed at me. I really don't You screamed at me and your handshook. Yeah, well, I was mad at you. Not that's what some guy say. He's like Joa's Trump Derray. I'm like, I'm angry at you. Not Trump. Why would you give you, I'm not Trump. Seems like you were mad. You should be mad at Trump, not me. Well, I am mad at Trump. Well, don't get mad at me.

I was repeating what people say about you. I would've mad at you. Friends get mad at you. No, you get mad at friends for what they do to you. I have a kid. You're like, I'm like, Lucy's good. I'm like, Lucy's good. These are just bar shows.

The important shows that I want to mention, I'm going to be in North Carolina at the Chapel Hill Pit March 18th doing two headlining shows. Then I'm going to Philly, March 22nd. That's a Philly Comedy Club and then link out loud and linkester Pennsylvania, March 23rd. Those are all the dates I'm excited about. That's great. Please, by tickets and come. And I have merch. I ordered my first merch. Is it from merch pump? No, it's, God, what's it called? Something. It doesn't matter.

What is the merch? They called me to say I couldn't do it because it's like a copyright infringement on another. So I have to figure that shit out. But I also ordered a bag that said I come with baggage. It's a toe bag for women. I'll give you a free one. The shirt was getter done.

I love three things. I want a jam. Can I get one? Yes. Of course. And social media. Everything's at Chrissy May or C.H.R.S.S.I.E. and may Y.R. Yeah, this is a good show. Please follow me on Instagram, jerk off to photos.

Really? What do you know? This is how a lock of your hair has merged. Whatever you can form my cute. You look like you should be on the CW. Thank you. Can we get to this once and for all the people with red hair have red pubes? No, I'm died. I stopped. That's how Louie got into trouble. I think that I don't have any pubes record. Yeah, but that then they were red and the girls were asking what they look

like. Oh, so there you go. Don't answer that. No, when I saw them, they were gray, but you got to do it. You saw Louise pubes? Yeah. Well, you got to open form. He opened form. Part of the. I'm so curious. I want to see him. What's the big deal? You know, it's been so hyped up. Well, he showed his pecker on his show on HBO.

Remember that? I do. He got out of the bed naked and we all went, uh, that's one of the show got canceled. That was just see a fucking little three inch red pecker. How about this for a parting story? Speaking of the new left As I like to call them, which I am not a part of friends. I went out to eat with Louis Which right of it lets you know I'm fucking I'm cool

Liz Warren 2020 We went out to eat and a kid like a young Boy walk by he did like a mouth like What like looked at us and started taking photos of the restaurant. And then after lunch, I searched Twitter just because I'm always interested to see if anyone wrote anything. And I found the kid and he was like, just gave Louis CK the finger, which he totally did not do. And I wanted to respond. No, you didn't. And then he wrote, he's attention. NYU all caps. Louis CK is in the neighborhood. All caps make him uncomfortable.

Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, that. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's good. He's living a life. So yeah, that's why I hate these people. I don't believe in bullies, but if bullies still existed, he wouldn't exist. So somebody who grabbed his phone and throw it in a river. Also, I'm going to be at Lucy's in. How many fucking places? Just a few.

Yeah, but who are you gonna remember? You just kidding. What's your website? Chrissy mayor.com. I love Lucy's. I did that this year. There's a lot of fun. Yeah, I heard it with me.

Yeah, I heard it really well. That was really great. Gabby, what do you got besides Taw, you guys? Oh, watching you. You could follow me on Instagram. Hack Gabby is Brian. I have a monthly show first Wednesday of every month at the way station in Brooklyn called jiggy with it. And that's it. And great skin. Thank you.

Oh, you guys are so nice to be showing you guys really hard. I like having women on tour. I wish you threw a compliment my way. It's to cycles are synced. You have great skin. Your boobs are great. Thanks. Come on. I do. Your boobs are great. Thanks. Come on. Mike, what do you have besides, uh, fucking autism? Just woke up.

Joe. I missed it. Sorry. Joe's back on Twitter. Well, it said 5 30 to 7 30 to 7 38. And I've put all the energy and attention. I can't. What are we going to wrap up? Because we're at the fat plant. We're going to go.

Wrap it up. Mike, you swore as an Instagram. I'll be at the lantern. And We're gonna go wrap it up. At my case, we're as an Instagram. I'll be at the lantern and my new podcast coming out next month called Yikes with Misha Han. Awesome. Whoa. Guys, I want to thank you for coming in.

Thanks for the cigars, brother. I love these. These are my favorite. Uh, long, long, long live the kinks. These are my favorite cigars, my favorite size, because it fits in my butt. Um, just a case I'm in a jam. I can put it in my butt and then I can smoke it. Uh, but I think it's coming in. I want to thank, uh, all the fans of YKW, Zach, what do you have? It's, Zach, you got

let us. Uh, we got, uh, we got a, we got a big announcement coming up with the network. Uh, we just joined forces with somebody really big. Whoa. So hopefully big big news coming with a riot cast and all the shows on it I'm very excited. I can't announce it yet, but I will very very soon. Mike was at the meeting right very exciting, isn't it? I bet it really to control that meeting. Yes. No, yeah, I sat there just like that. I'm mush. I want to thank you guys and thank you three The fans coming in and agreeing with me not Joe What did we see you next week Listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening

Now go back to your shitty jobs shitty jobs Check out riot cast calm for all the best podcasts on the internet and they're all free Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelas desde Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Zarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. En esenbolotea.com