Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Zac Amico, Mike Figs | Loft Bed

Episode Date: December 4, 2022

This week Bobby's joined by Zac Amico and Mike Figs! We get into bad impressions, growth removals, airline seat expulsions and horror movies! Go to Tommy John dot com slash YKWD RIGHT NOW for TWENTY PERCENT OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER! Robert Kelly "Kill Box" AVAILABLE NOW at LouisCK.com https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://instagram.com/robertkellylive http://youtube.com/@ykwdpodcast https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de maú, a Madrid. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caixa Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Informa, tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros.

Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3 por uno en medianas al omicidio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por uno, mediana, salomicidio, solo pidiendo el line 1 ¿Sapará? 3 por 1, 3 por 1 Ah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, The idea podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW did back again. Old school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did this podcast is so fun and crazy.

And there's no rules. Shut up, you ruining this. Work the bar, damn it, man. I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show?

This is the NPR. That's the part that I've done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Right. You know what, dude? What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another YKWD here in the Comedy Cell. A laugh button studio is above the world famous comedy seller, the best goddamn club in the country,

dare I say the world, yes, go fucking, my clubs get, no, it's not, not as good as this one. This is the one that made it fucking righteous again. This is the one that made comedy punk rock again. This is the fucking kill box that I name my special out if you get a LouisCK.com right now for the price of a Kamamakiado. So go there and get yourself a nice special,

a real special, not this horse shit 30 minute fucking high jinks they're selling you with other shit. And not a free special like that Jewish guy, Irish affair, yeah, it should be free. That's why it's free. Why'd you give it away for free? Did you watch it? No, I'm kidding, it's great.

Go check out Irish Special 2, hilarious. I got a great show for you tonight. I'm kidding. It's great. Go check out our special to hilarious. I got a great show for you tonight. I'm very excited about one of these guys. No, I'm kidding. I actually love both of these guys. Very fun. One's been on a lot. One's just was on once, but it was fucking hilarious. So let's give it up for Mike Figs and Zach Amico. My baby, my baby boy. Love you, Bobby. How you doing? Thanks for being here. Thanks for being here. Thanks for inviting me here.

Yeah, that's better. Appreciate it. It's so uncomfortable. Why are you such an uncomfortable, confident man? I was like, you know, I'm laughing. I'm sweating. It's tough. It's fucking hot in here.

Is it, I guess the girl, you put it up a little bit the air and is it hot in here? I'm not sweating. Yeah, then if he's, I just ran up the steps. It's 15 fucking steps in his joint. Fifty-fifty flights of steps. Firefighter. Fifteen steps. If Zach is not sweating, Zach out here at fucking it fucking five-thirty. I didn't get any Italy so that I could go up the stairs on my own pace.

Such a sad. I mean, I mean, look at I relate to it. I get to the airport early. So I don't have to I don't have to be sweating when I get on the plane. I got clear and changed my life. Clear is great, but I'm going to tell you something about clear. Let's talk about clear. They don't all have it. It's bullshit. I just paid them. I'm going to tell you something. What happens with these things? Do you have clear clear? I've recently just got it. Okay, clear at the day, the, the, the, the, the airports are now allowing you to pay extra money. You can get global one, which is the globe, but it also gives you TSA.

But if you don't go out of the country, you get TSA. But now you can get clear at certain airports which bumps you in front of TSA. Okay, for a hundred bucks, I think, a year, right? Yeah. And when it first started, they treated you like, sir, it only takes a minute. What? We'll get you. You'll go right to your TSA too. Well, you're going to go clear pre-check. You'll clear, go for it. Clear everybody. Oh my god. Let's get you. Use your eyes. Go a little closer.

Now, because nobody wants a fucking job, no decent human being wants a job. You got the lowest of the law. Yeah. Okay, so when it comes up, it's like, yeah, yeah. Over here, step closer, they're in, it's like, there's no customer service with Cleare. Thanks, and I are both tromping to do the voice, and we both don't want to do it. Ha, ha, ha.

I need to move this back closer to the machine. So I need you move up a little bit. I need to back up. I need you move a little forward a little bit. A little back up. I mean, it's not right here. It's not right here. You know what? Just hold it. Just got it. It's the worst.

You never get it the first shot. Do you get it the first shot? When they first opened, they hired professional people, people. Yeah. If you work in an area where Bobby say it. You should not. You should not. Just say it, Bobby.

No. Just say it. No, no. Next letter's H. Come on, listen, listen, that's all I'm talking about. I'm worried to kill box. No, I'm really. There's no one I'm talking about, thanks.

I swear to God, it's not a racial thing. I swear to God, I know it sounds like it's gonna be a racially. And no, when they first thought it, it was every, the same, the same people. No, actually sounds like it's gonna be a rich thing. And no, when they first thought it, it was the same people. No, actually, yeah. Basically, the same people, just better people people. It was more like a concierge type thing. Bam!

Thank you for fuck getting me out of that, that canceled jam I was just in. Let me ask you a question. When you first did it, was it busy at the airport, or was it kind of like a quiet day? Someone opposed you. Well, it was quiet because of like a quiet day? Someone opposed you. Of course it was quiet because of the pandemic. I understand how it works.

TSA was quiet when it first came out either because most people are lazy, paranoid, lunatics that don't want to spend the money, which is waitin' line. My wife's one of those people. We don't need it, go fuck yourself. Go waitin' that line, bitch. Yeah, go for it.

Take Max, wait you too. I'm gonna waitin' in that 45 minute. I gotta wait in that line, bitch. Yeah, go for it. Take Max, wait you too. I'm gonna wait in there for 45 minutes. I gotta take my shoes off, take my laptop out, like I'm a piece of garbage. I'm American. I'll pay whatever costs to go through that line without touching anything, without taking anything off, without nobody touching me.

If there was a better line where I could literally just have something implanted in me, and I went, boom, and I went through, I paid 7,000 a year for that. I'll do one gig and pay all the money and go, boom, and my chest lights up like Iron Man. I can put it in the head of my penis. I don't care.

Good problem. Glad you knew I'm surprising to Iron Man. Yeah, we'll just keep you emotional. So you can do other references in yet. The green hornet. I thought you were gonna say, that's what one of those. You know, I was late to LAX.

I got the text that my flight was boarding while I was still in the cab. Oh, I got to the airport at 730. I was sitting on the plane at 742. Cause of clear. Cause of clear. Yeah, fucking walk me right here. Clear is the shit, but I miss the people people.

Yeah, yeah, I love people people. Yeah. I love people people. Yeah. I love when they hire people, people to deal with people. I don't like when they hire riffraff with no people, people, skills, and they bring them in and they treat you. First of all, you walk up and they're talking to each other. Back in the day, clear, they were looking for you. Yeah.

You look clear. You clear? Come here. Now, yeah, so anyways, I was, yeah, she called, but out of, yeah. What do you think, yeah? What do you think I come over for you for? Yeah, Trump, guys.

It's terrible, it's bad for Trump. No, it's not for Trump. It's not doing that. It's people, people. I want people. No more speaker phone. Go ahead. Stop talking to us.

They're fucking, they don't fucking, they don't acknowledge you. It's like, yeah, well, you're interrupting. I got in Las Vegas. I got in a fight with a lady. I went up to clear, they don't acknowledge you. It's like, yeah, well, you're interrupting. I got in Las Vegas. I got in a fight with the lady. I went up to clear. Nobody was there. Yeah.

So I, they're all over there. So I walk over to them. You got to come back over here, sir. Okay, I go back over there. There's 15 people in line now. Yeah, I go, she goes, serve back of the line. I go, wait a minute. You weren't here.

I was here. You weren't here. Serve back, she looked me up and line. I go, wait a minute, you weren't here. I was here. You weren't here. Serve back, she looked me up and down. I don't like you. Back of the line. I was, I was furious. My meditation app just went up. You are identical to what is perhaps

the greatest mystery in the universe. Take a moment. It was just, yeah, basically say, relax, your heart rate too high, your racist, Bobby. I'm not racist, I'm not to do it race. Bobby, your racist. I swear to God, there's not, the color of the skin has not changed.

It's the same physical people. They're just, they hire, they just wanna give people low money and they hire, that's what you get. When they first open, they paid people more money. And they used, at least had one manager, a GM person there. Hi, sir, yes, take him a directing shit.

They don't have that person anymore. When they throw you, I'm sorry, I'm ranting. No, I don't mean to, I just feel like, was your first bad experience at Vegas? Because that was mine. Yeah, Vegas. Beautiful African girl signed me up in LaGuardia What does her skin have to do? I just want to let the viewers the listeners know that you know, why was it's just Joe who's racist now Beautiful African lady signed me up. I mean what the amazing thing if let me see how come over here. I do it for you. Oh, she was really yeah

That means that coming over here, I would do it for you. Oh, she was really. Yeah, she was like, oh, it was a chance to do a voice. That's why. Jimmy O'Low Wakanda, she was really sweet. And it's my fucking wanna do a Wakanda voice. Nahonkeys in Las Vegas. Hey. Sorry, it was so bad.

That's when I had my first bad experience at Las Vegas Enterprise, whatever the fuck it's called. And I was wondering was that the first time it happened to clear? Clear, in Las Vegas is terrible. The customer service is they just treat you like shit. It's like, look at man, I'm not those people over there. Those people over there, you treat them like shit.

I'm not even the TSA people. You treat them, you can treat them a little shitier. I'm clear, I'm above it all. I'm supposed to be clear. I'm, it's blue and white, right? Yeah. They don't give you any stuff any more in it. They used to give you like masks,

they used to give you little things like sanded, they're not the little, you get nothing anymore. I got recognized by a fat Spanish girl at TSA. Oh, oh, I know you were comedian and I'm like, yeah, and she walked me through a different part with my voice instead of you. What? He do the voice instead of you. When I was the voice to set it like hola like are you that fucking guy That put his dick on fire and then put like terror cards staple to his head. Oh my fucking guy

She walks me to a better line. Oh Felt so good. Let me think you through a better line. Hold a fuck up. I love your I love all your wristbands that you have on today You don't you go keep that more puppy don't worry I'm in it not like fat white chick I gave me even a fat little little you know black lady, but fuck it. It's man is chick. Yeah fast-man's chick all about me So glad he did the voice. Yeah, you ran right through it. I knew he had it in him. Of course.

Yeah, you're right. I should have teed it up better. Yeah, God damn it. Let him do the voice. You do all voices for the rest of the show. I'm more than that. I don't have to. Robbie's not here.

I could beat myself. Listen, you do all voices. I'm a smart guy. I do a lot of them. Very talented. Listen, I didn't actually do a douchebag voice right now. Do all voices. This is a father of podcast. When he tells you to do a bit, you stick right now. Do all voices. This is not a father of podcasts.

When he tells you to do a bit, you stick with the bit. Thank you. I made a stick with the fuck away. Thank you son. Oh, god, Jay. Yeah, so what? So what? You were like a priest, thank you son.

Oh, we know what we thought. Yeah. I like the song. Uh-huh. Um. Yeah, clear is, I mean, listen, I want them to come up with another thing. I want something better than Glitter tier. I want top tier. I want fucking emerald platinum. Why you? Yeah, I want I want hey for $500 a year

We're gonna we're gonna let you drive your car into the You know what I mean? On the flip, you play. Your Uber can come into the gate. Like I want Uber clear. That sounds great. Yeah, that sounds amazing. I can think of the name.

I want this. I want Uber clear. I want to be able to have like a, I want to pull up, you know like when they pull up to the military gate and the sir and the guy and the, you're not clear then the guy in the back reaches out and shows them something and like, sorry, sorry. So I had level 17 blue clearance.

That's what I want and I'll pay for it. I don't care if I have to. Do dirty things to somebody. I'll do it. But my wife, I'll make her do it. Yeah. I'll pay you to do it. I want it.

Let's say your wife has to get fucking railed out. All right, let's settle down Right you out of your mind don't have a say I said it not you you're You know fucking ever you out of your mind I'm a dead of the go botanical Zach those you out the window He did the thing too. I don't like the thing Sorry, he did the thing too. I don't like the thing Don't twist on it. You hit every one of you fucking twist in it women is a G-spot is shut stop it no twisting no thing ribbed Don't I'm sorry. Oh sorry. Oh

This kid's got no respect Jack. Mythicality hold on more than that, Mythicality. Mythicality, I give you, I can give you 11th, 15 clearance. Holy one, what name? My debing on you, wife, little man. Zach, Jesus Christ. Right, Zach, he's got no respect. I swear to God, I want it so bad. They, and it's coming.

They're making it so that people are gonna be like, hey man, I hope they wish for it too. It's like Tim Duda-Claire. Yo, dude, what's up man? You remember Claire from... Yeah, you want SuperClaire? It's called Translucent. Yeah, yeah, I thought I told dude.

It's C-Dude. Yo, you want C-Dude? Yeah, I thought. You want C-Dude. Yeah. Come over here. Come over here. What does he do?

He's like, hey easy. I'm sorry. I was so... All right, come over here. Come over here. What does he do? Play a wife to come over here. Easy. I'm sorry. I was so, all right, all right, all right. And I saw, that was a real look. Like that you gave me, I saw it. You were looking for an object. But I just came from therapy so I controlled it.

Very so. Oh, Bobby, we're in a controlled it. I feel good. I thought it looked around. There was nothing we've done out there. It was not tonight. I was looking for a fucking something heavy Paper waist

Um anyways, yes, what's max what's the max a grand let's say a grand a year easy a grand a year I would do it for how much Bob flies. Yeah, I would do it. How much you fly? probably Six times a month now. Six times a month? I've been on the road and I've been working there. What do you what and how you flying coach your first? Coach, but I got to choose wisely. I love you. Listen to me. I love you I love you so much. You know that yeah if I have was on a fucking plan and you saw me come and I saw you come and I'd fucking hang myself Yeah, I literally I would get I would make the oxygen thing come out wrap it on my neck and then hang my all my weight on it. No, I do economy plus

Thank God, but that's only you know that's only what it's nothing though. They trick you It's all fucking awesome. I go I'll say it's a scam. They give you a padded fucking headrest That's it as long as I'm a aisle. I'm fine. You got to do aisle. You got to do like exit road to get something. No, I got fucking kicked out of the fucking um, exit road. Emergency row. Yeah. What? Yeah. That's my, cause my, I need an extender. Yeah. The fucking guy kicked me out and said you need to find another and I had the road of myself. And he goes actually

it's a health hazard. If you need the extender, you can't be by the emergency exit. I'm like, can I, can I, I'm as a, as a fatty for life. He did the right down. No, the left side down. Here's the thing. I'll tell you why. We're flying over America.

Where are we gonna land that we're gonna use that door? Okay, here's the thing now. True. Here's the thing. We might use it or we might need to use it. And if you say you pass out, nobody's picking you up. Like if you pass out on that door, like you,

and they're like, move them, we can't. He's fucking stuck. And what if there's a pinhole in the window, and it sucks you out just a little, and half in, half out, Zach. Did I save everyone? Ha ha ha, you did did. Air pressure stabilizing. We don't know how it's happening.

Air pressure. Did you just... Just Zach's face. Ha ha ha ha. I'm stuck like Woody the Pooh halfway. Half way in the plate. Oh, cool. It takes my pants with no pants.

It's a little cock-a-balls. I have. I'm the way to go. Ha ha ha ha. I remember Patrice was flying once and he got to the point where he couldn't buy first class because it was too expensive, but he could afford two seats. So he had money, but not money money. So he'd buy the second seat and one time they gave it away.

Because that per... Whatever, he was like, yo, I bought this and they were like, well, we need it. He was like, fuck you. I bought this like some flight attendant wanted to sit there to do one of those. Whatever they do. And he was like, no, I bought this. Yane taking it. And he made he wouldn't let the lady sit there. It was great.

Good for him, but dude, flying on a plane. Now, I mean, you're even in the aisle. You're in the fuck. You're you're a nuisance to the guy. I do the, and I know I am, but I mean, you know how it is to be here. You do the suck yourself in, you hold your elbows. Yeah, can I teach you a trick? Please.

Wear a hoodie. A light shirt on it, because you don't want to sweat. Wear a hoodie. I used to take my arm, stick it in the other sleeve, and then stick that one in the other sleeve, and it would like a straight jacket. Like a newborn baby, like one of those things to keep it from crying. I was like a brajol.

You. I would just sit there like a brajol wrapped up for the flight. So my arms, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, that's exactly, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It was comfortable enough where I, because if I, I remember one night I felt,

I did this and I fell asleep and my arm, I fell asleep so, and I went like this and I smack the ladies' tits. I was like, next to me and I fell asleep and my arm, I fell asleep so and I went like this and I smacked the lady's tits. Nice. Next to me and I was like, oh my god, I was fucking a horrified. And she was, I mean, they got no, they got it was like before cancel culture and like phones were big.

Yeah. And people were recording every moment of a flight. Hey, Fatco holding you, you know, on the flight. So yeah, it's, I love that that fucking joke bomb that didn't get it out. And I just tried to, I just tried to go somewhere else. You called yourself Fat Go. Fat Go. I didn't know what you said. I thought, I just, hey, go ahead. He's the King of Park. Guys, whatever you say, guys, where are about? Keep going. I listen to Fat Out forums. I, I told, I all my two, two, two, I got

to do it. Was it a bomb It was a flat tie. I already got this anyways. Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm all whipped up. Um, yeah, dude, you got to, you got to know how to hold your body together. And I want to when I wanted to invent, uh, invent a fat strap. So you don't have to, you could wrap it around your wrist. I go around my fucking mouth so I stop eating. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. No, it goes around your wrist and then it goes around your other wrist so you can just hold your wrist.

Oh, that makes sense. You can hold your body together. Because flying, I mean, do it, not for nothing. You're fucking, I mean, you're a big kid. You're a big boy, yeah. I'm down a little, I'm doing okay. All right, how much did you lose? About 15, 20.

I love you, buddy. I'm getting there. I just slow. Are you gonna do it? What? You gonna do the surgery? I'm thinking about it, yeah. Do, Zach, listen to me.

Just do it. Dude, listen, do it. I want to. I can see you inside of that. I know, I know. I had that, too, like where I was here. Yeah, yeah. My little lobby. I know, I know. I had that too, like where I was here. Yeah, yeah. My little lobby.

And then the rest of me. I'm looking at pictures now, dude. We just did comics come home and they didn't change my photo. And it was all the old photos and I was horrified. It's on a trinitron. I mean, I look big, but I was bigger. And I was like, fuck, man, I didn't even know I was that big. You got a fucking do it.

I want you around, Zachi. Thank you, buddy. No, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the, I see a guy. I'm your fat sponsor. Thank you. Didn't I tell you I was going to lose weight? Yeah, I'm gonna. Remember a year ago when I said I'm going to do it.

Yeah. Remember when I was exact, I'm doing it. Uh-huh. I go, I want you to do it. And I called you. I'm, you know, that's all what I knew was happening. Now I want you to do it and I call you. I'm, you know, that's all what I knew was happening. Now I want you to do it. Okay.

Go. Fucking go. I'm working with my guy, I'm happy, but I want to do it. I'm making changes. Fuck the guy. You're too big for the guy. Okay.

He does that surgery, he'll look like you in a month and a half. Are you a fucking asshole? No, what's wrong with you? You said that you didn't do this guy I've ever met. Why? You talking about, you said that. I mean, I'm just such a half. Are you a fucking asshole? No, what's wrong with you? You said that you don't get this guy I've ever met. Why? I mean, I'm such a stereotype. I'm trying to give him a way. Are you gonna look like this? A month and a half? I thought it takes a while. No, I thought I might die. They lost a hundred pounds in a month. That's called AIDS. I thought you said. And that's not working out for me though. No, no, they cured that now. You

fuck it. You're immune to. I don't know. I thought you said that yet. You fucking pandemic started and then you did the surgery. Yeah. That thing that happened two years ago. What? You know what? I hope you get fat again. You prick. How about that? I'm trying to be nice. I hope you stop getting fat. How's that? I'm being nice. You're welcome. I hope you stop right here and go back. Listen, no, it's just, you go in and it lasts for like two years, but the first six months you lose a lot of the weight. Yeah, yeah. A lot of weight.

Then it plateaus, then it's work, but you have to, it's just, you know, he can have a little time off to change your fucking eating habits. You know? That's Alex, I didn't know last night. All right, well look at, you know what? I'm really sorry. I'm fucking, I'm with you. And if you want to work out together,

like if you want to do stuff together, like, you know, and I'm doing this today, you do that, whatever, I'll do it with you. Thank you, Bob. You want to view that? Something like that, yeah. Dude, if you lose weight, you know how fucking rock and you're gonna be?

I wrestled, I was, I was, I was feeling good good man. Oh any of those photos anywhere. You're a wrestler What a nice cool. Yeah, I grew up wrestling. No shit. Yeah, yeah, I didn't know that what school right high school I heard that what is he caucus high school see caucus. Yeah, I used to have jokes about one here by bad my bad jokes Go for it back when I moved to New York Go for it see clock and I had to I had to I took them from Boston. They my bad jokes. Go for it. Back when I moved to New York. Go for it. C.C.C.O.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A.C.A. His fucking must also know. Stake you know, all sizzle no stag. Just fajitas. Yeah, all those things you serve it work. Yeah.

Mr. Is he good enough for you? You want to own a Palmer? I'm starving. I'm starving. Of course you literally start. Of course. All this like I got changed your life would really like it if Nicole would have given us a little fucking

Chakurri board something would have been nice. You want to fucking Shakurri boy? You do a little fake jam You know you little something more to dial a month of dollar. All right. Let's get some best one guys dying You want me to put a month of dollar in the He had a Caesar sale last night. Yeah, but I'm not putting fucking pig meat in front of the fucking poor kid As hall I did good last night. I had south half mixed greens half baby spinach with Some cheese some olives and chicken. Oh, what can I you can just breast a chicken? That's like the Purdue already cooked nice Breaking up into little pieces nice super easy, and then I bought that for the whole week

Did you you got to get protein shakes? Are you working out? I am walking as per my physical therapist. Fuck yeah, that's all you got to do. Yes. Fucking walk, baby. You got a backpack? Do you walk around my city? I have a back problem. The back is the whole reason I gained the weight. Okay, well, let's not carry away. No, no, trust me. I was doing good and then I fucked my back. So you used to wrestle in high school. Yep. Were you good? Not great.

I was like second team all league. What, what wait? Two, 15 for most of it. And then I was two, 45 wrestling, two, 75. Wow, no shit. Yeah. So you were wrestling the big boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And let me ask you questions. I was doing two of days. I was working out. I would run in the morning to hills My coach would make me run the hill up by his house and he was sitting drink coffee and yell at me Wow, and then I would lift at night What about you? You ever work out? We ever in shape. Yeah, I played football when I was in high school And I was fucking 190 pounds. Why did you play in what position? I played while I was really fat

I was like 230 and I played Offensive lineman. I was a center and then I dropped down to 190. I played middle I was really fat, I was like 230, and I played offensive lineman, I was a center, and then I dropped down to 190, I played middle linebacker. And then after that, I started doing drugs and drinking in here, I am now. Is that what happened? No, I just, you know, high school was all about that. Did you want a career in football?

Was that a thing? No, dude, we were kids in the Bronx, we would fight like, we would go against like, holy trinity and holy cross, like these big fucking long island boys, and we would get our asses kicked. And I realized quickly, okay, this is not gonna happen. I thought I would think the Bronx

would beat the shit out of these asses. Oh, and we had like good, we had good running backs that people could run and fucking do this shit and fucking dance on the touchdown, but that's about it. You get, you, like on the field, you get your ass kicked, but if you, in the parking lot, you'd fucking stab them. Yeah, okay, yeah.

Pretty much. Plus all these Catholic schools, they like, basically steal all the good athletes from all of them. Yeah, we played the real school. So I went to Mount St. Michael and I went to Columbus and we would play like fucking Iona. Oh, Iona, right? I think it's called whatever, whatever. We would play Holy Trinity, whatever.

You're asking about college. Yeah, like, oh, no, these are high school, like Catholic high school would a bunch of like, fucking happy Irish honkeys, fucking tall kids and they would destroy us, you know. So bad and I said, alright, they're saying, they're gonna work out for me.

I started working at Applebees. And what happened to you? I broke my leg really bad. Oh really, did someone break it? Or did you break it like falling at a fucking sonic burger? No, I was wrestling. I got my foot caught between two mats.

Oh, I was a break and my toe went in it and I got taken down and I turned my foot the other way. So this left leg is all screws and bolts. So how did you scream? No, I went to shock. What? Fuck, I ate. I turned my foot the other, my foot went this way.

And then I went to shock. They took me to the hospital. What do you mean you are a shock? Did you had to say something? I was like I broke my leg and then my so you like me back in the day I broke my leave I broke my knee did so I I was very quiet I broke I broke my leg and then my coach at the time goes Stand them up and see if he can walk on it and And I broke it again. What a piece of shit. I curled it. It was a guy from Dodgeball. That I put on a try again.

It was like some kid's dad that was like working with us. He threw a wrench at your head. Yeah. I just broke it again. They took me to the hospital and I was like, my God. Dead white. And the nurse goes to take my sock off and I tried to punch her.

Really? It hurt so bad. And she was, you just sprained your ankle. You're being a wimp. She said that. Yeah. We should find her right now. Yeah, I know.

And she works it clear. Let's, she works it mentally and hard. That's where she's at. And then I want to find her a snap or ankle. She goes, do you want me to go get scissors and cut your sock off? I went, yeah. You married to my wife?

Like, she's so calm to say that. And the doctor comes in and goes, you know, and he goes, I do X-rays and he goes, I heard you sprained your ankle. Oh, yeah, he goes to my wife? Like, she's so calm to say that. And the doctor comes in and goes, you're gonna do X-rays and goes, oh, I heard you spraying your ankle. Oh, yeah, he goes, let's take a look. And he looks at you, he goes, no, it's broken in three places. Geez.

Wow. Yeah, it was fucked up. What'd they do? I had to get re-contracted surgery. So I have screws and pins and shit. And then I was in a cast. Right away or later on. Then like two days later.

Were you in the hospital for two days? No, they sent me home and I'm in the hospital. Fuck that. I was in like a temporary cast and then they put me in, I was in a cast from... The middle of June to the beginning of September. Up to your knee. What?

Up to my knee. Up to your knee so you weren't doing anything. No. Just sad. Not only that, so you weren't doing anything. No. Just sad. Not only that, I had a loft bed. So I couldn't go to bed. I had a sleep on the floor in the living room. You know what, fix is that?

A change saw. Put that fucking thing on my ground. My wife got maxed a loft bed. It's just like I bought a thousand dollars. I had to go pick it up in Long Island. It was a new but used. Fucking Christ. I gotta go all the way out there,

put it in the thing, go home, build it again. The lady forgot to give me four screws. That's the worst. I had to go meter at the white stone bridge this twat at the Dunkin' Donuts, go all the way back. And now he's up a ladder. He's up a fucking ladder. Dad, come up here.

No, I'm not coming up there in the loft bed. I go up there, it's just like, er, er. I'm up. It's fucking. Does anyone know what I was a fucking 350? Just hear the whole thing settling like an old ship. It's annoying, it's bitch. Get him a bed on the ground like a man.

Yeah, normal fucking bed. Yeah, I mean, loft beds are cool for kids, I guess, but and then there's the desk underneath. It's so good. That's what I had when I was a bet on the ground like a man. Yeah, normal fucking bet. Yeah, I mean, law feds are cool for kids, I guess, but and then there's the desk underneath. It's so good. Back when I had one of the desk underneath. Yeah, he's got that, but it's sad. It's depressing. There's no light.

You got a lamp. You turn it on. It's like, he's growing up. Huh? He's growing up. This is life. What? You know, he's gonna start doing work.

He's homework down there. Fucking depressed. No, he's not. Legos are gonna go in a trash. I made his mother a custard. You're gonna start doing cratum. He's growing up. I made his, are you done?

He's gonna keep going. I don't know when your bits start. Put on, you know, it's gonna watch fucking breaking bad. You know, season one. Gonna go to the hall. That's all he's gonna look forward to. He's gonna come home and wanna watch breaking bad. He's growing up.

It's life, it's growing up. I had it, I just lost it. Well you told me, you're like, much like you're at. I've seen you on stage, woohoo, bang. No, but he, I made her a desk. I got a bowling alley in Brooklyn, half a bowling. I made her a 10. I got a bowling alley in Brooklyn, half a bowling alley. I made her a 10 foot desk, custom bowling alley.

The top is a bowling alley from Kansas City. I put mold, I made legs on it. It's a beautiful, like an apple desk. It's 10 feet by 25 inches. She's never sat at it. She's at the kitchen table like her mother. She sits at, you can't, people of who they are. She does all the bills, everything at the kitchen table, just like her mother. She sits at you can't people who they are. She does all the bills,

everything at the kitchen table, just like her mother. She sits there with envelopes. We go on vacation, she has envelopes with a lot of money. Ugh, ugh, ugh, he's right. Go get the envelope bottom. What envelope? Just give it up, buddy. And then, I mean, he's the same way. I bought him this thing, there's a desk underneath. I got a lamp, I got all the stuff, he's in the kitchen with her. In the kitchen doing his homework. Ah, what?

It's cute. Getting you room, I don't wanna see you. I don't know multiplication, I didn't do the shit it depresses me. How do you write it? I don't know, I have ADHD. I don't not a spell, I'm dyslexic. I don't read books, I watch YouTube.

Yeah. Oh, anyways. Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be seen. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con más de 120 canales dedicados a películas, series, gremene, realities y contenido infantil. Pluto TV. Ven a verlo, sin pagar nunca.

Yeah, it's crazy. A loft bed is ridiculous. Yeah, not great. And then my house I grew up in... Unless it has a slide! Dores! All lofts bitch, you have a slide. Yes. A durable slide.

That would... The doors in the apartment I grew up in. What's that slide? No doors. No doors. Plan. So my room went into the living room, went into the kitchen, went into my parents' room. No doors. No doors. No plans. So my room went into the living room, went into the kitchen, went into my parents room. No doors. Why? I don't know. I'll never know. Do you have an ass for one for Christmas? Yes. Every year. You asked for a door? Constantly really. I was I was monitored pretty harshly. Why?

Because I grew up with crazy people. What do you mean, Zach? I mean, I grew up with a very strict household. Talk to me. Like, you're home when the eight o'clock whistle goes off. Yeah, the opposite of this. This is what you get when you're on your kid too much. And this is what you get when you're not on them enough. Exactly.

I had a slide, bitch. Did you have a slide? No, I had, I had bunk beds. Red bunk beds. That's gay. Me and my brother shared it. Oh, sorry, your brother. Yeah, be nice to the kid.

Hey, I'm a fucking right there. My brother was getting nailed. I was like, oh, Tony. Uh, Tony. Yes, I have broken legs, sleeping on the floor in the living room, no doors. So try it when you're like peak jerking offage. 15, 16. You can't, I mean, what do you go to the bathroom? sleeping on the floor in the living room, no doors. So try when you're like peak jerking off age.

15, 16. Oh, I mean, what do you get? You go on the bathroom. You did not get. You did not get. I'm just monitored. What do you talk about? If I was in the bathroom for more than five minutes,

my mom would start banging on the door and then you get out. I brought a whole boom box into the bathroom. I would put on music, take a long shower. I would use the phone. I used to. I used to, I would bang on music take a long shower. I used to. I used to. I used to. I would bang my my first girlfriend.

I would fucking rail her in the bathroom for like 30 minutes. My mom didn't care. She was making chicken cutlets. I had a great. This last week. I thought this is a while ago, dude. Great childhood. Amazing.

They timed you in the bathroom. I was. Yeah, my I was I was raised pretty strict. That's horrible dude That's why he lights his cock on fire ladies and gentlemen like literally that's it I mean it is a big reason why you you know you have you have every color ever on you. Yeah, yeah I went completely bananas you went bananas now. Let me ask you question You think you're ever gonna like at some point go back To be in little zacky, you know what I mean?

I mean, I'm pretty calm as a regular person. I'm like, nice dude. I have a very domestic life. Unbelievably, one of, when I first met you, I was like, fuck, it might be a little crazy. One of the sweetest human beings I've ever met. Yeah, I'm a nice boy. People don't see a common.

They really don't. You're a nice good boy. I'm pretty quiet. I mean, you're a pinchable, little, nice boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. boy. People don't see a carbon. They really don't. You're a nice good boy. I'm pretty quiet. I mean, you're a pinchable, little, nice boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You fucking good, little kid. Yeah, people always think I'm gonna be like a wild animal. You're not.

I only turn it on sometimes. Right, when you need to. It's a character. It's in you. Yeah. It's that thing that was like, get a door, you cunt. Yeah. Right? Yeah, 100%. Right? I want a jerk off in private!

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Let me jerk off in the back. I don't want three minutes. I'm scrubbing my ass. All not only that, so put it in your pee hole. When my dad left, my mom wouldn't sleep in there bed anymore. Yeah. So she started sleeping on the couch in the living room with you. Outside my door. Well, lack of door. Outside my room. Outside your room. Outside your door frame. Yeah, outside my door frame. So there was...

Great name for a book, by the way. When you write a book, that's the name of it. I want credit outside my door frame. Outside my door frame. My Zach and Mikael. Childhood molestation. I'm sorry. And I've told this for a bit.

One night I had a mosquito bite on my leg, and I'm in bed and my fucking loff bed scratched my leg, and my mom just runs in. I know what you're doing up there, and stop it, you're not supposed to be touching yourself. Will your mom chip? Yes, everyone says they did chips through my mom. Holy shit.

My mom's got a very thick jersey accent. Ha ha ha ha ha. We one time got into an argument that the words porn that Jersey accent. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, talking about porn. This is definitely shit. That is so cheap. That is fucking shit. My mom. Wow. She's got a very thick drink. Are you close with your mom? I talk to her every day. Are you deal?

Okay, good man. I talk to both my parents almost every day. Really, your father too. Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you a question. Do you ever look back on that and go ahead guys, you kind of fuck me up? Uh, yeah, my dad.

Cause he's in therapy now. Okay. And we have very honest conversation. Is it religious based stuff? They fucked you up. No, really? They were just strict. Yeah, weird and I can't talk about it with my mom. She shuts down. But your father. What do you say to him? I'll say you know like stuff that hurt my feelings like I have to tell me but I will like what if You don't want to tell me you know, you don't have to tell me give but I, well, like, what? If you don't want to tell me, you know, you don't have to tell me, give me a, the every detail. Just like being mean at like guy with like work firm and stuff

and he would want to like toughen me up. And it was a little, a little muck sometimes. I'm just asking because I'm a dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going through this stuff right now in Max, where like what, what, what would he say? Or I, so this is a good example. Like he has one of no, I want to know if you're,

you know, if you're far, this is what you have to look for. It's well if your father was went too far with you or you're just a fucking sissy. So like he would take me crabbing in the Hudson. Sorry. And I was scared of the crabs. I was like a kid crab. What's at what age?

Probably like eight nine. Okay, my kids age. Yeah. And to make me not scared of crabs, he took a bucket of a hundred crabs. Took a hooker and made me have a second. I dumped them on my feet. What?

At the bottom of the boat. Right. And said he wasn't gonna let us leave until I picked up each one and put it back in the bucket. Yeah, that's a little too much. Yeah, that's right. Which just made me never want to do that again. Right. That's a little did you pick them up? Yeah, you did. Yeah, they all fucking bit me.

Will you afraid of crabs after that? Constantly. I'm afraid of the water. Really? And you won't have sex with a redhead because she has crabs. That's a fact, by the way. That's a bobcat. All redheads have crabs. True. At least once in their life. I love redheads. I do, but they have crabs. Both times know, time to grow a red pubic hair. Yeah, both times. I've been with redheads, red pubes, crabs. I don't think that people have crabs anymore, Bob. I'm one, I banged them.

They did, I haven't, I've been, Yeah, my wife's a red crab. There's 19 dickity too. A 19 dickity too. Yeah, it's, nobody has crabs anymore. Have you ever met a girl with crabs? Never in my life. I fuck hordes.

HPV's a big thing for me. Yeah, yeah. Dude, there's crabs. Yeah fuck hoards. HPV's the big thing for me. Yeah. Dude, there's crab. Yeah, every girl has HP. Everybody's got HP bodies. There's crabs. Bring up the stats on crabs. ASAP.

Do they give me crab stats? Do they call it crabs because it looks like little crabs? It's a crab, dude. It's a crab. When you get a nice. When you get a crab kit. When you get a crab kit, millions of people get infected with public lies every year.

Pubic lies, I said public. Fuck it stupid. You know what, you fucking dumb. I don't want to get crap. Public, you get public lies, that's fucking public. You want to get home, you want to get home, Lice, do you know how public Lice? Mounds of people are infected by public Lice. Very year, very, that's wrong, Lice, very year, that's wrong.

Although crabs come from the same family of parasites as head and body Lice, they are not the same thing. Crabs need blood to survive. Oh my God, so once they fall off a human body, they won't live for long, only one or two days. I know. Do you people just shave their pubes, though? Yeah, but you could just outlive the crabs.

Yeah. If they fall off your body. But they need the blood. Yeah. They need to suck your, did you see crabs? Like where you were with this chick, the crab? I fuck it, dude. When you get the crab kit, it comes with a magnet crab kit.

And a little comb. And a little comb. And a bib, and a something you get the crab kit. Yeah, it comes with a magnet crab and a little comb and a little comb and a Bitband of something you break the crab. What the fuck are you talking about a crab kit? Are you serious? It comes with drawn butter Hungry Bobby that's actually a new like pimple pop thing people taking out their lights or crabs and popping the time Can we see that? Can we see that? Yeah, dude, it's crazy. But I put the microscope with a little magnifying glass and it looked just like a

crab and then it jumped. Dude, it jumped. Woo, dude, it scared the shit out. It was like a horror movie. Yeah, having crabs, man, was a question. I mean, but that's rock and roll. I wish I lived in those times, you know, crabs, fuckin' siff, siff, you know, drip dick. Yeah, yeah, and ha-

Never had it, just the HPV, which, I mean, if you don't have it, you're not cool. Yeah, if you don't have HPV, you're just a pussy. You said fuck. Yeah, you didn't fuck. Yeah. Did you get it?

I'm lookin'. Well, why you stop, can you change your tone? I know you don't wanna do this in the call. I know you had better hopes for your life, but this is where you are now, on my podcast, with these two fucking animals, look up the crabs. Fucking poor girl. Yeah, it's gonna be fun to Thanksgiving

and get her family. How's your life doing? She's back this shaking, I'm looking. Oh, the sucks. Yeah, crabs was the toughest. Twice I got it, both from Redheads. Wow. I'm stuck. My crabs were the toughest. Twice I got it. Both from redheads. Wow.

Nuts. There were two redheads, like redhead redheads in my whole life. I don't like it. I have a lot of redheads in my family. It's kind of weird. I'm not a redhead person. Did you have to do a shampoo or like a needle in the hiding? No, a needle in the hiding.

I thought that's what happened back in the day. What is this? No, you didn't get a needle in the hiding. I thought you get it like if you had like a... The crap? Like a ria. I never got gondaria. Never got gondaria.

Never got herpes. I got crabs. I got genital warts. Yeah, I had some war wounds. I think I have a genital war, but I'm not sure. What does it look like? It's just like a skin tag that's been on my foopo for like the last year.

That's your deck, Blake. I can't help. I can't help. Yeah, do you pee out of it? Yeah, dude, I come out of it. I pee out of it, but you know, there's a four skin. What is it? What on your foopo?

I don't know what that is. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. So here's my shaft, right? Here's my shaft. Like right here, where my body starts. Right. There's just a little like skin tag. So when you push it, yeah, my push, yeah, you know,

when your pubes are yes, okay, right? That's an ingrown hair, I bet. No, I thought it was that and I like can you you can Zach see it? Showsack. You serious? Yeah, show Zach. Don't show the camera though, show Zach.

Put the camera on me. Alright, this is nuts. Don't do it, you're in front of the camera. Can you, can you, okay? I put the camera on me. All right, this is not. Don't look, you're in front of the camera. Can you, can you. Okay, not camera back. I put the camera on, do it. I don't want to go. I put the camera on my face.

Let me see it. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. No, I try to work. Let me see. That's a war. No, that's a war.

Is it? Yeah, that's a war. Why don't you trim that, Mox, though? What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, a muppet? I mean, do's a word. Why don't you trim that, monster. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? I mean, do something with that.

I mean, if you do your face nice, do that. That thing, I mean, it looks like a Wolverine day. After that, you gotta give me a sandwich or something wrong with that. I mean, it's not on your day. I'll get your Schwama at the end. Okay. I mean, do it.

Listen, no, that's a 100% award. What you gotta do, you gotta go to a dermatologist and he'll freeze it off, because it will get bigger and they'll get more. Here's another 100% award. What you gotta do, you gotta go to a dermatologist and he'll freeze it off, because it will get bigger and they'll get more. Here's another thing too. Go wash your fucking hands. Don't touch anything. I'm serious.

Well, I'm very fresh. I shower my fucking hands. No, you just touched it. Yeah, but I'm very clean. I'm clean kid. But no, no, no, no, that thing. Oh, that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go wash your hands.

Yeah. Should I touch the head phone? No, just flip them off. No, touch them. Flip them. Flip them. Flip them. All right,. Go watch don't touch the door. I Mean he just touched the war and then fucking pull your pants up vigs. What the fuck He just walks through life like that. It's not so you and you should be the crazy one. Yeah

Yeah, that thing needs to be frozen off That's that's a nugget and that's that's a nugget. And that's from her writing. Whoever that girl is. That's from her writing him. What are you doing? Washing hands. Oh my god. Did you find it? Yeah, but it's just popping regular headlifts though. It's not crabs. Well fine. Can you find crabs? Well, they come them out. Yeah, we can't show that video. Why? Why you can't show pubes? Why not? It's just fucking North Korea. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?

Can't we show for the Patreon and then they can we can put a link up? All the videos are of the hair stuff. Like they're not showing the ones with the cute they're not showing people coming out their cubes on this even on like TikTok like. Yeah. Okay. You can't find it much. No, they're all of headlights. They're not going to be of crabs. I want crabs. It's got to be out there. Dude, I saw someone was beheaded last night on the fucking thing So I can I can watch somebody's throat get sliced. I can watch a fat guy fall on the helicopter I can watch a moose kick a baby, but I can't see a guy combing crabs out of his pubes

What's going on the world man? It's crazy. You can't on YouTube, but we're finding other sources. I got damn it, find another source. I want the dark web on this show. I want to go viral. Yeah. I want, I want algorithms. Yeah. Were you around when we had dark web Nate, I guess? No, what is that? What is that?

We had a guy that worked with us from Australia named Nate and he would go on the dark web by drugs. Oh, really? And he was like, he was part of this like service. It was almost like a Yelp where people would review it. Yeah. And he and it was all tested. And dude, he got ecstasy for my bachelor party that blew our balls off.

Dude, you got to be careful now, man. Yeah. It sucks that they're putting that fentanyl in the stuff. People are just high tests at a skank fest. Are you dead? Yeah. That's why I love skank fest. Yeah, we all had tests.

You got to, yeah, we're going to do a lot of drugs and we're going to make sure they're clean. Yeah. Skank fest. America. We love it. Yeah, you got to test it, yeah. Yeah, you got to.

It's sad. I don't understand why drug dealers would do this. Oh, it's not on purpose. And I think it's the table they're cutting it on. What? Like they'll be fentanyl on the table then they're cutting something else on the same table. We'll get a cleaner fucking table. What do you want me to do? Why would they even have fentin' all in the fucking party? I'm gonna say these sell people. I've done fentin' them. Even Subway separates the fucking

vegetables and the chickens. Years ago I used to hook up with this like real party party animal black chick and she got fentanyl lollipops There were supposed to be for cancer patients and they came in a fanny pack with a fucking big lock on it Geez Christ and we used to go to the we used to go out dancing and we had a fentanyl lollipops What does fentanyl do? It's a painkiller and what it what how do you feel? Real nice, so you could do a little Fenty and be all right. I think at the time, let's not give it a cute name.

Yeah, I do. I mean, whatever this was good. Dude, come over today. We're gonna watch a new Yellowstone, little Fenty, maybe have a Shakurri, little mother Dalai or some Fenty. Yeah, no, those are great things. Damn, sounds like fun.

Sounds terrible. Sounds terrible. It's like literally risking your life. Yeah, I mean, you know. I mean, you know. It's like literally risking your life. Yeah. Amidst that. Yeah. But they did a lollipop. Listen, you're not in that bed anymore.

No, that's a bed of yours. Hey, you have a door now, my friend. Yeah, that's a decade and a half ago. OK, good. That was early 20s, then. No more fentanyl lellipops. No. All right.

Crazy, crazy. If you die from fentanyl, people are going to lose a lot of money. Yeah. You died from what? die from fentanyl, people are gonna lose a lot of money. Yeah. You died from what? Yeah, fentanyl. Wasn't hot dogs now? Fatal? No, no, no.

Wasn't stairs? No. Did you find it? No. Oh, what of? Sorry. I mean, I have the worst internet crew ever. She's great.

Anything? What will we look for again? I forget. Cracked level. No. If someone comb look before again? I forget crap crap live. No, someone combing their crabs out of their pubes. All right. Well, somebody brought up subway for a second. Yeah. Do you remember Blimpie when it would when they would cut the fucking cold cuts in front of you and make a nice Blimpie sandwich. I don't that's a New York thing. Correct. Oh, we have Blimpie and Jersey. Yeah. It was so good.

Now even Blimpie subway, it's all bullshit. It's all like pre-measured bullshit, sloppy, like fucking top-aware cold cuts. It fucking breaks. But you know what they have though? Instead of blimpy's a deli. Yeah, well now I appreciate the deli. Yeah, of course.

Blimpy's- He sells like when girls like have like real bad underarms. You know what that's probably? Like salt and vinegar. Yeah, that smell like when girls get like the vinegar smell under their armp know what that's probably? Like salt and vinegar. Yeah. That smell like when girls get like the vinegar smell under their armpits. It's the purple peppers.

I'm purple onions. The purple onions get wet and they smell like be all. Yes. The first girl I ever went down on as she took her jeans down went, sorry, I had a lot of onions today. Oh. And I thought all the giant is stunk like onions. They do.

Or like three baking of my life. Well, it's most of them just different. Sorry Nicole. Not yours. You'll smell like flowers. Thanks, Bobby. You're welcome to call who loves you. Keep looking for the crabs. Blimpies. I don't know. Stan. Blimpies. Like Blimpies. What's the other one you guys? Oh, what? Pop. No, there's a new one now, Jimmy. Yeah, Brock Lesnar sandwiches, Jimmy Jones.

Jimmy Jones is good. And Jersey Mike. Jersey Mike's kind of keeps it. They're like, they remind me of the old blimpies. No, you just got to go to a tell. I rather go to a regular deli. Yeah, but the problem with deli's now is that used to be run by Italians, right? Who invented the devil or Jewish? Yeah, now you're getting sandwiches the okey way. Kelly's now is that used to be run by Italians, right?

Who invented the Delta or Jewish. Yeah, now you're getting saved was just the okey way. Which is too much. I saw the okey way. You bring up the okey way. Sure, sure. Put the nuts and else stick on top of it.

You take my ice crispy. I put that too. Put the nuts and else stick in the frying. Show, show. Then you take the pancake, you put it on the grill. Then you take the back, and you put it on the back. Then you take a fenty, you sprinkle fenty. Nice.

And then you get a drink, what drink? I was just, no, I ordered for the young women to be the best. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never have have no I order from Leonies Didn't he get shot? Got shot staff the guys I swear to go like yeah, where's my sub relax, but relax But maybe it's not him, but it was a deli with something to go shot. Let me hear it Let me you made it you decided other weird stuff might work to Chopsies I do I own a Jamaican party. I would do on a French toast, I would do on a pop top. His little brother told him to put pictures and videos of the weird sandwiches on TikTok. He did.

Now we serve it to the customer. Here you go, sir. Here you go, son of the head. 4799. Million followers. Occupers. 70 million times. Worldwide.

Well, yes, I have people that came so far from the UK. That's the far as I got Uh-huh, I'm here to try your acuway sounds It's what he calls it the acuway a derivative of the word brother in his native. I thought that that was messed up to call the Mac coil customers. Yeah, I always thought it was I thought it was for Occupant a.O.C. make my say black people call Arab deli guys. Occupant. Yeah, but it's actually a it was for off a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a We don't care. Yeah, but that grill doesn't look very clean. That's not, that police got to see ya. For sure. Ah, to see your age. Wow.

I know, I got my spot, man. Leoni's Italian sandwiches. There's four different places. Right. Fucking 150 sandwiches all named after Italian celebrity. That's awesome. It's not better than that. You can't listen.

If you have an Italian deli near you, get your sandwiches there. Just save it. I'm not saying it. It was just Italians know how to make it. You know what Italian trashers place is? One of the sandwiches is the opian Anthony. So that's trash. Where's that?

There's two in Brooklyn, one in Staten Island, and one underneath the Alamo Drafthouse. So is the sandwich cut in threes and you get them in separate containers. One went rotten, one's racist. And one's with a little pink soda pop. Oh god damn it. Yeah, a sandwich, look, Jewish people know how to make a nice sandwich, but it's too much for me. The Jewish deli, it's like, yeah, there's 70 pounds of fucking,

like, let's, let's, you like, must it, must have, it's trapping on, right? I enjoy a nice Jewish fucking nice, a strong, I do too, but it's too much. Yeah. You can, you know what I'm saying? You share it with a friend. All right, whatever, you know what I mean?

The Italians make the best sandwich. Hands down. Hands down. Italian sub. Chicken Palmajon, meatball. Oh, Jesus. I mean, come on. What else?

Vio, eggplant Palm sub. Ugh, you're killing me. I mean, you can't, you can't mess with it. You're killing me. They do one that I love. It's roast beef mozzarella gravy. Oh, mother with great hot gravy. Yeah, hot brown gravy.

Oh, wow, that's that's. I started ordering from them and they opened a new location and they didn't have grub hub yet, so I called. Yeah. And then when, oh, we don't have a delivery guy yet, oh, I don't know, problem. And then I get a call right back from the owner. Yeah.

It was this is that can be go the comedian. I know. Yeah. He goes, I love chip chippers And you got a or I mean come come down to the shop right now. Oh, he loves chip He loves all he loves comedy. Is there a chip? I want to fucking tell him I want a dude sandwich. Oh dude He loves all the he loves our he loves comedy. I want a dude sandwich. What is that the opian ant and he what is it? It's a cutlet. It's just hot super side. Everything in it. It's all alone and hot stuff peppers. Everything in it isn't

good anymore. The opian antheny stopped being good in 2006. This sandwich was great before Yeah, don't get this. Get out of the bonfire. Oh my God. Yeah, I do the number 90. What's the number 90? That's a roast beef mozzarella gravy and mushroom stuffing. Is there a picture of it? Yeah, they call it you. What? Do they call it the? No, I wish it was. I want it to be. I want to replace the mushrooms with roasted red peppers. Oh, the Zac Amica. Good job. But the roast the mushrooms are good with roast beef and gravy. That's like the red pepper works better than you think. Oh, that's my one. I will. I I'm with them. I'm with the mushrooms. Holy moly. I'll go. Oh, look at the cheese is melted.

They make their own muts. Oh, they melt the muts. They make their own muts in house. I used to deliver muts. Stop yelling at me. I heard you. This is same muts again. I'm gonna throw something at you. I worked on a human's truck. That looks good.

Now, see, you can't in this Italian. You can't mess with the Italians. You can't, when it comes to sandwiches, you can't, when you go to an Italian deli, it's the top of the top. I'm not saying anything about the, all the bodegas in New York, they're fine, but you don't know if that meat is,

you don't know where anything is. You know what I mean? One time I worked in there and this big gavon comes to deliver my sandwiches. I do double tip, right? My tip on the app and then I tip another 10 when they get there, they fly to me But the guy gives me a sandwich that he was the other day the church and he goes kind of ask you a question

I go. Yeah, he goes we're all looking at your Instagram and What are you wearing dresses all the time? I was like oh, they're just having a homophobic conversation Yo, he doesn't because he's a wrestler. It's a game. You sure? He's on a show called Bike, guys. You sure you need to take it in the ass?

I'm positive. I'm just going to give you an extra 10, run over. Yeah. So listen, when you suck a guy's dick, that's gay. If he sucks, you're dick. That's not gay. OK, you say Charlie like we sound. Oh, it's a fucking joke.

It's funny thing. Yeah, we're going to dress. Dress is a comfortable man. They're gay. He balls on nice. He never see the bird cage. Good movie. He's cool. She's double tips. Let him go.

On that go. I, uh, I love a nice, Daly. What do you, are you, your Spanish, right? I'm half and half. So I love this stuff. You, what would you take if you had a choose? Yeah. Italian, Daly or Spanish, Daly?

Italian all the way. Now the Dominican, say it with confidence. Italian fucking Daly. deli. Italian all the way. Now the Dominican deli. Say it with confidence. Italian fucking deli. All right, cool. Thank you. Say it with Italian accent. You're fucking Italian fucking deli, guy.

Say something that raises against the Puerto Rican one. I'm tired of these fucking spicks putting Doritos in my sandwich. Not that raises. There's a middle ground, but then we're on FM radio. You're fucking dirty, you're son of a bitch. See, that's my bitch. So that's my problem. I put chips in my sandwich.

That's totally so proud of me. I am a huge, beautiful fucking horse. She put a fucking sandwich, she put a fucking Doritos, she put a fucking sandwich. Why the fuck was she doing that? I know you. I love that episode with a black guy. He's like a half black dude. He's like, he's like, he's like, oh, show you,, show your black. Okay, good. Last time you ever go to a fucking house.

So bad. So what's true? What, you were about to stick up for the Spanish deli. So the Spanish deli is a Dominican deli. Okay, there is no Puerto Rican deli. It's a Dominican deli. Okay, so Dominican. They all, and they make, and you go there,

you get a good breakfast. You know, they excel on the breakfast. Okay, first of all, you can't fuck up a breakfast. It's egg, it's bacon. It's a little different though. What? The three scolpes, you ever have a three scolpes? Bring it up, fried eggs.

The calls, it's fried mozzarella, pretty much. Okay. With fried eggs and madudos. So it's like, wait, what am I, no, plantains. So you have your fried, your plattenose. Even they match. There's a banana on your egg sandwich. no, plantains. So you have your fried, your plattenose, even they match. There's a banana on your egg sandwich. Okay, so look, so you have the salami, that's what I've got.

Which one, which one? The first or the second photo? See, it's the second one. Okay, so now those red onions are pickled red onions on top of my phone. Make it the only thing on the screen, so I don't look at 90 other fucking things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so fucking hungry.

This is great. So I'll go through the whole thing for you. Okay, so now the mifongo is under the red onions. Mofongo is pretty much like, I'm gonna fuck her. It's pretty much mashed potato, Dominican mashed potato. Okay, what the fuck am I looking at? I'm telling you right now, you can take the...

What's over on the right? That's fried cheese. Okay, fried cheese. I'm with you. Yeah. What's over on the left? That's eggs, two fried eggs. Okay, what's up on the

Salami? Okay, fried Salami. Where's this fucking banana shit you were talking about? The big, the mush underneath the red pickled onions. That's its plantains, mash plantains. It is incredible. So it's you get a little bit of the potato with an onion, you dip it in the yolk, you take the Salami and you cut off a little piece of the cheese, you eat it, you have a nice little coffee. Incredible. I'm gonna taste that right now. I'm gonna taste it right now. Look at me. My mouth is watering.

You sold me on that. That fucking, that looks good. And when you do it, when you do it right, there's a little like stick of butter, a little slab of butter in between the mashed potato, so it's melting. What's the average age on a fucking Dominican? 38. What the fuck? I'm so good. Jesus Christ. What's the average, what's the average age on a fucking Dominican 38?

What the fuck? I'm so good. Jesus Christ. Maybe you want a little more fat, you take a little avocado, you cut the avocado, you're fucking. That's my problem. So I'm fat. My mother was Italian.

She loves me. Now my wife is Dominican and she gives me that like there's no hope for me. Yeah, there's no hope for you. No, well, you can do this small portion. You could. Maybe two of the sausage, one of the cheese, a quarter no hope for you. No, well, you can do this small portion. You could, maybe two of the sausage, one of the cheese, a quarter of the fucking banana. So you know what happens?

I'll tell you what happens. So that's not, you fry the whole block of cheese. That's just two slices. So the first thing, you eat that cheese because it's so good. And you grab another cheese, you put it on top. It's so good. And that one. And then you have a cafe,

we'll snuggle still oh my god Then you fuck your wife wait a minute you talk about my Hey wife, yeah, your wife or your husband whatever you want anybody after that and then your husband fucks you right after That's big the minnick and cock brown cock. We're getting demonetized with a little red-hell FM this a little bit I think you just the town of this guy should be the one talking you You take a nap, you watch house of dragons, house of dragons. And you'll wake up. Zach, speaking of TV, you just did the Whitney roast. Yep.

How was it? Oh dude, it was, it was my dream job. I wanna know about Whitney. Dude. I don't, listen, I wanna know about Whitney. Okay, I've known Whitney for years. Hi, what's up Whitney? Hey, Bobby, you know, blah, blah, blah. But we've never, I've never, you know, know about Whitney. Okay, I've known Whitney for years. Hi, what's up Whitney, hey Bobby, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But we've never, I've never, you know, you hear, she made a fast rise and blah, but then you hear rumors and this, she's this, and then all of a sudden, but then you see her and she looks like she's having a good time. Yeah. She looks like she went a little mentally ill at one point and now she seems, but every time I've seen her

she's always been sweet, she's always been nice. I've always liked her. You know what I mean? And then she's pretty too, right? And then Skankfest, she was there, she's great at Skankfest. She did, she went on stage, she was so funny and great. And like, I don't know though. Like, you know, I was going to ask to do a podcast, I was gonna see if I could do it. What are? Do it. She's a comic first. What do you mean?

I said, I pitched vile jokes about her to her face, and she loved it. Okay. Like, she was super. I just don't trust a chick with more than one llama. You know what I'm saying? Oh no, she's on hinge. Okay.

But she was great. I really, really enjoyed spending time with this two things I know when a guy buys his wife a horse He got caught cheating and when a girl gets a llama in the late 30s They're pussy smells like purple onions. No, that's not something Jesus Christ. Oh, sorry. No, did something happen something broke When exotic animals come into play., money didn't solve your problems. Yeah. Yeah. She's a psychopath, but in the very sweet way that a lot of our friends are unhooked people. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. She's, she's good people. She's not gonna roll though. She let a guy touch her snatch. Yeah. She was very fast. She's

blessed. She's cool. And she, I mean, she looks great. Beautiful. Yeah. Very hot. Very, I mean, she's at the top of a game right now. Yeah, she's counting. And the whole, it was a great time. Who was on the roast? Lewis, Donald Rowling. Who wrote for Lewis? Me.

Me and then, uh, well, you're next, next roast that you're writing for me. Sure. How do you do? Lewis looked incredible. He looked so fucking awesome. Uh, we bring that, is that anywhere? No, it's, it's gonna air, um, I think in January. Right. But, uh, Lewis, let me taste a bunch of people.

We all wrote together for everybody and then we all kind of split it off. Yeah. So I helped Lewis and Norton. Right. Oh, good. And then also there was Donnell Rawlings, Bob the drag queen who was from RuPaul's drag race. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Annie Letterman and then a girl from LA Robin Trin was on it. It was really good. Anybody bomb? As far as I know, no.

Oh, good. Good. That's always good. All right. It was fun. Who did it? What? Who did it?

Whitney produced it. So it's for her. She produced her own roasts. So as far as I know, only fans is launching an uncensored streaming service. Woof. Where you don't get demonetized for cursing and stuff. I thought they already did. I think I saw Karen Feehan's pussy even 19 times.

Wasn't that? Was that, was that, was that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, but it's going to be like a YouTube first, so it's free. I'm pretty sure I saw a, a Kennedy half dollar and an asshole. Yeah. Only fans TV. It's going to be for that. Really?

And then they're going to do another one next month. I don't know if they announced who it is, so I don't want to Yeah, only fans TV, it's gonna be for that. Really? And then they're gonna do another one next month. I don't know if they announced who it is, so I don't wanna say, but I'm working on another one. That's awesome, dude. What? Is it big? Yeah. Bigger than the one you did?

Uh, that's a pretty famous person. Yes or no? Bigger or same? Same. Same, okay, great. That's great. You're on it. I'm just writing, yeah.

You're a roast writer now. Yeah, that's great, man. Yeah, it's my dream job. I just, I love sitting in a room and writing jokes. Really? It's my favorite. Good. I love it, man.

I love it. I'm so happy for you. You're gonna have to move out there, though. No, I've been working a remote on this one and I'm just gonna go a week a month, I think. Good. Good, I don't want you to. I don't drive, I can't live in LA.

You don't drive, but Uber and LA, I don't fucking drive an LA. I get an Uber everywhere. It's so easy. Bing, bang, boom. I go, LA is good for me now because I can just Uber everywhere. I don't have to pen it upon someone to pick me up. Well, I mean, that's what made LA for me suck. Renting a car and finding parking. Maybe I want to kill myself out there. Pulling up to the laugh factory, and there's no parking. Having a park 19 blocks away on a hill

and having to turn my wheels towards the hill in case the car break the fucking failed. And then fuck you. But now I go to LA, get to the hotel, and go over to the hell I want. So I like LA now. Last trip I went, it was awesome. You've heard a guide times presents?

Well, it's the only podcast network in the world injected bono medicine into the paralyzed man dick that they have content. Go check them out. They have family jewels. It's a fucking, what do you call those things? Fucking trivia based podcast, which is kind of interesting. Go check them out.

Guide times present, uh, network. They have a bunch of shows that are hilarious and they don't give a fuck. So they go, um, yeah, that's good. I think I want to, I think I'm, uh, I think I want to do a podcast. She's great. Yeah. Yeah. I thought about what you hooked that up.

Make that happen. Make that happen. You want a number? Uh, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's access to me hook that up. Make that happen. Make that happen. You want a number? I'll get you later. Huh? Yeah, I mean, that's exit to me. We got some topics we're gonna go to real quick, if you don't mind.

Chris Rocks doing a live stream on Netflix. A live special. Live, live, stand up comedy special. What do you- Did somebody did that before him? Who? Didn't you do something live? Not live. I did live from the village underground, but I just named it live. You didn't stream something?

I swear you did that. I did, but it was fucking Connecticut. It was this fucking thing during the pandemic. They had people eight eight eight feet away, four people at table, eight feet away. And they didn't mic the audience. They were just, you know, they had whatever that fucking Italian kid that did the thing that became famous overnight for Instagram or TikTok videos, or whatever the fnuck kush, which one? Ram, Ram, whatever. Tom Sondro? I don't know the fuck.

Whatever they had him there, he sold out. Well, let's get Bob to do it. Yeah, well, it's not gonna happen you know that rock does it'll be here because everybody wants to see him talk about the slap yeah it's gonna be fucking huge live everybody's gonna tune in like it's nineteen fucking forty two appointment television watching live yeah man I miss that that's great we used to do that with the Oscars before they got woke before they revealed what hypocrites they are. And we realized, oh, we're just

watching millionaires pat each other on the back. And they're adding suspenseful music to it. We're like, what's happening? A bunch of cattle we are losers. I miss that too. We tried to explain to Lewis's son what a TV movie was. It was like eight different levels of explanation. Because he asked if he could see it. And Lewis was like, well, the original is appropriate. And I'm like, yeah, it's a TV movie. So it had to be okay.

And he goes, what do you mean a TV movie? I'm like, well, it was on TV. He goes, all movies are on TV. That's true. Yeah, but I showed it on TV, like not in theaters. He goes, yeah, just like movies. I'm like, yeah, but you had to like watch it. He's like, like you downloaded it? Like he couldn't get the concept.

Easy, right? The idea that like, he couldn't understand that things were on at a certain time, and if you missed it, you missed it. Dude, I remember A team, tuning for A team, and what was the stunt guy one? Starsky Nutch? That was a stunt. What? Tune in for A-Team and most of the stunt guy won. Star-skiing Hutch. That was a stunt. What?

Falker. Yeah, Falker. You don't scream shit. You have a microphone, you fucking load a thing. You scared the shit out of me. Did you say star-skiing Hutching? Whatever fucking old time. Yeah, I have a honeymooners.

Like a star-skiing Hutch was a cop-show. Chips. The cop-show. Well, you look, I'll show you look at what show you're hungry. You want your chips. You're starving. The tub of shit. I said, remember, I remember as a kid, like tonight's the fall

guy. Remember the fall guy was on. I'm like, I want to want to get my homework done. And you have to tune in at that time. And you missed it forever. Yeah. They didn't have repeats. They didn't have syndication back then.

Well, if you missed the symptoms, you better wait two years so that's shit to air again. Oh, what a... Dude, I'm such an old man, you know what I watch? The Rockford Files. Oh, jeez. That's old. I have an old...

And it's so fun. Like, there's shit in that, that's so fun. Bring the wicking peter up on that chart. I want to know what the synopsis is. It's so fun. He's like a bad ass detective, but he'll do shit like, you know, a girl becoming the same at the, the, his office and he'll find like a pair of panties in the couch and like stuff him in this pocket because he

fucked the last girl that he saw. He was just, he's just Weinstein. It's a good all days. All right. Here we go. Where is it? Okay, rock files is an American detective drama television series star James Gardner. Good looking guy that aired in an NBC network from September 3rd, 74 to 80. That's a long time. Everyone's a cynic and still syndicated Gardner portrays a Los Angeles-based private investigator Jim Rockford would know a private investigator Jim Rockford would know a Barry, Barry Jr. in the supporting role of his father, Joseph Rocky Rockford, a retired truck driver. The show is created by Roy Huggins and Stephen J. Canal.

Huggins had to create a television show, Maverick, which he was in too, by the way, I believe, right? Which starred Garner and wanted to... That's not gonna day when you were a television star. You either movie star or television star. You do not do both. Sounds boring.

Dude, it's awesome. Dude, I watch a lot of drive-up. Hey, it's not drive-up. Roy Huggins. I followed the day of him when he woke up, made coffee. There's no a Barry Junior from Averick. Boring. With that voice it sounds boring.

That voice sounds boring. That's what people were. With that 1920s can, can, girl voice. Arachrofiles, right number 39 on TV guys, great as it. Hey, Salzy, you wanna have a dance? Have a size rack with me, would you? Come on over here and hit the bunk with me before he hit the sales.

Don't mind those panties stuff between the couch. I fucked somebody. A's isn't here yet. Look how good looking it was. Look at this fucking panties stuff between a couch. I fucked somebody. A's isn't here yet. Look how good looking this bucket. He's in black face. What the fuck is this? It's a black in white. Are you that dumb? It's a black in white photo. No, that's black face. He looks like rich boss and I was a mustache. What the fuck is this? He's panty. He's in a couch. Jesus Christ. My ready to just keep scowling, you know, fuck. The coffee's kicking in now. My ring's going off.

I have to check it because last night, this is nuts. Oh God, I hope it's not. Oh shit. Hope it's not happening right? What is life? Oh no, oh no. Oh, that was a car. What happened last night,

we got up with, there's a bear in my neighborhood, a black bear, a big one. The scaryest kind. I said bear. That's the guy that works that clear. It's giving you that option. Last night, it was all over the place. My next door neighbor has sent me video this morning of it in the driver, which is right at my house. Oh my goodness. My wife was with the dog in the backyard at 12.50.

The bear was in the neck in the driveway at one o'clock. And she was, I mean, I must have been right there. And it was across the street. So there's a big black bear, you know, walking around our neighborhood and- You got me picking the basket. Jesus Christ. What? neighborhood and you got me pickin' a mask. He's scratching. He said pickin' a dick. Pickin' a dick. I got a pick name. I got a man. Is Robert Kelly House? I spelled Bob Kelly. Wait, is he Robert Kelly?

I'm gonna fuck out of sleep. I know he's throwing out half his sandwich. I'm about to get him in that motherfuckin trash. You can't eat the whole guy in his sandwich. Do you think pickin' a dick is because of the racial part or the lack of reference? No, no, because that's what Yogi Bear said. Picnic Bear said. Yeah, it's how Yogi Bear said it.

Yeah, Picnic. I know you know Zach, but they don't know what you're talking about. I'm so old. I don't even know what racial thing you're saying right now. How'd you split your lip? I was chapped and I, it's been split since I'm a little kid. I've been putting stuff on it.

Your lips been like that since you were a kid? It opens every winter, yeah. It's been split, I split it really bad and just, you know, from like getting chapped, it splits. Well, you gotta fix that. Yeah, I've been putting stuff on it. All right. You've been stuck. That's not a thing that happens like seasonal that happens to me since I'm a kid my lips look it does not have to happen

They have it they have it. There's something you can I'm sure there is yeah, Bob that's the least of my issues It's so far down the list of things I need to fix But I'll be your fat coach, but first we got to fix that lip I can't look at that. I'll be your fat coach. But first we got to fix that lip. I can't look. I can't look. I can't look at that. How about your lip coach, though? You're right. There's a long list. I apologize.

We have some questions for you. Do you mind going over these questions? No. Let's do it. Last fucking. I can't believe you're streaming this live. Do you think he's going to say some crazy shit about Will Smith and Jada? You think I'm gonna have a blast.

Has anybody heard anything about his set? I heard he's been talking about it. Has it been good, funny? Oh yeah, I think I heard, because it's gonna be touring with Chapelle before this. I guess, yeah, they're doing it. I imagine he's gonna work it out on the tour and then it's gonna, it's gonna fucking kill.

I tell you what, Chapelle's SNL was epic. Love it. It was great. Now tell you what else is coming out that people's gonna be it's gonna fucking kill I tell you what she pells SNL was epic Love it. It was great Now tell you what else is coming out that people gonna be blown away by is Joe Rogan's new hour. Yeah Oh, I saw him doing it at the hard rock. Yeah, it was fantastic I saw it when I was in Austin. He did it and he went up after just everybody murdering and he just went up and it was like No one get like we weren't even there. Yeah, I was so fucking good. I mean, it was fucking great. And the best part of body, he was having fun.

He said you could tell he was up there having a laugh. He was, Joe has a sting, man. He's very fucking, he can go from fucking aggressive to a durable as that big guy. He's an intense dude. He's an spitting go from it. That's why his comedy is great. He can go from really intense to just fucking adorable,

funny, goofy. Today I met him. I thought he was gonna sniff me. What? Why? Were you on the floor? No, we're at the store. We're at the comedy store.

Tony Hitchcluff is like, do you wanna meet Joe Rogan? I'm like, yeah, I woke up to him. And I, it felt like he was sizing me up. Yeah. And then he looked me up and down. I really, I thought he was going to sniff me like an animal. Yeah. And he just had that about. Well, he's the top. He's looking. He's the apex predator. Yeah. But he gives off that vibe. Well, he's, I don't think it, I don't think something he does intentionally. I just think it, you know, look, man, you have I just think it, you know, look man, you have around certain people. It's like that dude is that dude. He's the apex breeder.

He's, he's the guy of something goes down. He's surviving. Go with him. If the electricity goes out, find Joe Rogan and whatever he's preaching, listen to and do. Be a part of it because he's that guy. He's just got that thing about him. I mean, I would expect you guys to come with me. Of course. Of course.

Of course. Of course. And we'll have fun. And uh, most you can come to Joe, you're with Olivia, be her man. Um, Nikki, you go with fucking the, uh, here's the scenario boys. See how long that lasts? Just if the bear comes, we're sending figs first, right? Oh, figs just do voices at the bear. Well, send the figs out. Think he's another bear. Look at that hair line.

We said you have covered it, honey. Fucking pubic hair in his eyebrow connect someone. I bet he's a black bear, but they shaved this asshole down. It's not a lot of speed. She put him in a circus. Um, the overall escape through the street. I has new specials. I'm gonna speak. Should put him in a circus. He owes Roller's case to his feet. I has new specials incredible, but I'm really excited about this Chris Rock one.

I can't wait life, just to see if something fucked up. You know what I mean? That's crazy. I mean, he, because that must be intense. I mean, you do a special, I don't care who you are. You have nerves.

Yeah. And you're gonna fuck up, but you got three shots. That's one shot at getting this right. Shoo. You know what I mean? That'd be great if, if I was will, I'd fucking go and slap him again.

Yeah, it'll be great if they kind of like worked out something where maybe he goes on stage, apologize, give him a hug. You know, at the end. Maybe, maybe. That'd be kind of, people go crazy. That'd be cool, because I like Will. I do like Will, but I'm team rock.

No kid. Huh? I think, you think, well Smith and Jada crazy, they named their kids gender switched versions of themselves. What crazy alien narcissist shit is that? I don't understand what you just said. Tell me about this. Will and Jada, what are the kids?

I don't know. I don't care. Willow and Jada, what are the kids? I don't know. I don't care about the kids. Willow and Jada. Yo, Jada. They're gender-split, their own names for their kids. I didn't even put that together. I'm so stupid. Isn't that weird?

It's... That was a good Will Smith. You went right over it, but it was good. Do it again. Yeah. Jada. Yo, Jada. Jada.

Put that dick out, Jada. It sounds like Siphah sound. Are you out of your mind? That's not it. Do you understand what good is? This is a problem with you. You think you're certain in presence you do a really good work on that.

I mean, I write, I could be any black dude from Philip. Yeah. Yeah, Jada with it. No, Jada, Jada, Jada. Nope, still not it. with it. Uh-huh. Yo, J.E. J.E. J.E. Nope. Still not it.

J.E. You can say it 95 times. I could only say J.E. That's all. You're not even saying it though. You're not doing it. That's the problem. You're saying the...

So the thing, I hit Chris. I didn't mean to. Ah. It's getting better. Is that doing it? I'm so talented. I'll just keep doing it. I'll get it eventually.

Is that him with hemorrhoids? Why is it going to add? Ah, yo, go Bobby. Is it a wart? I got to freeze it off. Ha ha. Jaded, jaded. Dude, it's so not, I can't.

It's almost addictive. I just want him to keep doing it until he gets it. It's fucking terrible. It's so bad. I'm confused. Yeah, It's fucking terrible. It's so bad, I'm confused. Yeah, he's very confusing. And he doesn't quit. The confidence in this young figs is mind-boggling.

And good childhood. You know, happy guy. Yeah, we can tell. Zach, we have some questions. Lou Azzac, horror film, what horror film would you most want to remake and star in? Oh, star in? remake and star in.

That's tough. My inclination is to go with a movie that could have been good, but isn't that good. That could be improved, but I don't know what I would want to put myself in. Probably want to like the attack like, you know, a geolo movies are, I know, Italian slashes

from the 70s and 80s. Okay. There's a lot of really good ones of those. I really like one called phenomena. Phenomenal, uh, that came out in America as creepers.

Right. Um, what? I'm just imagining a bunch of like a downbeat people. Yeah. No, the girls are always super hot. Um, what? I'm just imagining a bunch of like a downbeat people. Yeah, no, the girls are always super hot. It's a fun. You know what?

Texas changed so too. Number two. Number two is one of my favorite. And will you be leather face? Maybe I really like some of the other characters in it. Right. I would like you to be somebody else. Leather, I would like to see your face.

I think I would wear like cool gas station guy. He was like, my favorite character ever is Captain Spalding in house 1000 corpses and people's re-treks. He's not. When I'm a little older, I think I would love to do that. Is he, he's passed away right? Yes, did Hague pass away.

What did Dayaf, old, old and giant? He was huge. How big? He was big, but he was like, I have a picture with him. He's like probably four or five inches taller than me. Really? And I'm five times. No shit. He looks like shit in that last movie. He does, man. What was that? What was it called? Oh, uh, uh, uh, three from hell. Yeah, three from hell. He looked so bad. And I, and I double three, Jackson's my favorite movie of all time. Yeah. I hate it. You look so bad. And I, and I, devil's rejects is my favorite movie. Er, of all time.

Yeah. I gotta watch that again. I gotta watch it. I watch it once and I didn't like it. It's my favorite. Really? Yeah. Okay.

I watch that again. I watch that again. Cause his wife's in it. Zombie's wife is in it, right? Yeah, she's in it. It's like Kevin Smith. It's like we get it. You love your fucking wife.

I know, dude. What's up? It's like Clint Eastwood used to put that fucking mediocre four and a half in all his movies. Oh wait I got the movie I'm sorry it's called head of the family and it's a 90s movie from full moon they used to make like super low budget movies right and it's about a head in a wheelchair with little arms and legs and he's got a family of of mutants. And it's like a weird like Southern Gothic car. And I want to redo that, but I want to do the son

of the head of the family. Yep. That's it. He does like a person wells the whole movie. And I would want to redo it as his son, but I would want to do Truman Capote. That looks like a kid movie. No, it's like goosebumps.

Like one of his scary, he's got him out of sex of it. Yeah, like goosebumps like one of the scary out of sex of it yeah it's like of one of those pumpkins from the goosebumps yeah fucking are you afraid of the dark or what of that movie wasn't that in the Adam's Sandler Dracula film when they were on the cruise isn't that the same kind of looks like him at the yeah at the end that's like the person who was the monsters but on the second one when they were on the cruise and He was in a wheelchair, right? Am I crazy? Do you bring that up? Yeah, I know the family's from like the mid to late 90s

I just got the big boom in Austin Wales So he's Southern. Oh, he's got a fucking modello in the fucking thing right there Yeah, I would I always wanted to do the sequel. It's just be a little southern boy My daddy was the chair And I would be a little true me Capote It's good. That's creepy. Yeah, if I ever get canceled I want to just go be a wrestling manager in the South named Percy Peaches

Nice. Mama wouldn't let me in the wrestling ring. I thought for myself, I can just manage alpha man's these big how you're not in WWE in a dress. I know right now character. Persuasion managing one of the most alpha male guys are some beaches and old fashioned fruit. My go. Oh, yeah. And I was the answer. My god, oh yeah. I know what that is.

I was the answer, my dad is farm. I watch the rest of the matches on TV every week. Well, you're just a gazillion, you're a billionaire. And you pay for everything. I've never lowered myself to fisticuffs, but I sure love watching. That's my dream. This is better than anything you've ever done.

It's amazing. I mean, it's nuts. I'm gonna hang myself, I have this. I'm just like old like seersucker suits with a cane. Yeah, but you have a you always have a pink carnation. Yeah, yeah. No peach. A peach. Sorry. Yeah. It's Percy. Peaches. Yeah. It's a peach. You hit the ref with a chair. He can't count. Yeah. No, I'm tripping with the cane. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me. Sorry, baby. But it comes after you and you pull your can out and it's flowers. This is for you. Enjoy your take.

Did you find the trend the other one? Oh, yeah, it's the same thing. Make it bigger. It's the same thing. Am I crazy? You're not crazy. That's the same fucking thing. Oh my God. Um, did you see barbarian? What is that? What is it? Horror movie. It's on HBO Max right now. What is it? All you got to know, it's the first Airbnb horror movie. Yeah, I don't want to ruin anything.

That's all right. It's really good. It's different. Okay, I heard Sam Roberts talk about it. He said it was very confusing. Yeah. Is it confusing? Don't confuse me.

Yeah, I know. At first you're confused. Yeah. I'm confused. There you go. You don't know what's happening for the first time. Why can't you tell me, it's just, you Don't confuse me. Yeah, no. At first you're confused. You confuse me. Okay. I'm confused. There you go. You don't know what's happening for the first time. Why can't you tell me, it's just, you can't tell me. I don't want to blow the whole.

You don't want to, it takes a left. It takes a left. Okay, I'll watch it tonight. Really good. I don't want to. Did you see the new exercise coming out? I heard about it, I didn't see a trail. Type in the new, it's actually interesting.

It's two, it's this, it's this rogue type of priest that does, you know, where's kind of regular clothes and a leather jacket and he's the exorcist guy. Oh, so it's not an exorcist sequel. No. It's just an exorcism. It's an exorcist movie, but it looks fucking good. Do you like exorcist three? Exorcist three was one of my favorite hormones. It's an exorcism movie, but it looks fucking good. Do you like exorcist three?

Axis is three was one of my favorite hormones. It's so good. Axis is one is unbelievable. Axis is exorcist three. Surprisingly great. Was George C. Scott. Who's my father's trucky? Yeah, my father used to fuck me up. He would he would go.

He would make me know he's Puerto Rican. He would go, Madenita, why you do this to me? Yep. Yep. He would do that to me all the time as a kid and fuck me. Then you see X's three? No, but I saw that because that guy's voice is back. Yeah. And he's in it.

Um, yeah. The guy's trucky. The guy plays Chuckie is in it. And it's not and George C Scott. Yeah. You can't show your kid this yet. My father showed me this shit at eight line. You can't show your kid this yet. My father showed me this shit at eight nine. I can't show your kid that.

I went to see Smokey in the bandit. It got out early because it was like what an hour. And my mom and her, whoever the fuck she was banging at the time, her, I think her soon to be husband in the exorcist at the theater. And I went in, they just let me go in. I went in and watched that. Oh no.

Me and my sister, I was fucking losing my mind. It scared the shit out of me for years. There's great like all time, a news footage on YouTube of people passing out in the theater during the exercise. The actress is gotta be the all time. The old trailer is so scary. Yeah, it's the all time scariest movie ever.

And then cause fucking William Freak and the director's a psychopath, I just watched a bunch of shit on it. The shit he did to those actors, you would, you would never be allowed on a set again if you did the shit. So there's a scene. There's two things in it. It's when the priest phone rings. Yeah.

And he gets scared. And when Reagan throws the dresser at the mom. Yeah, both times he wasn't getting a reaction He liked they didn't look scared enough. Yeah, so he went to his car Got a gun Put it in the jacket came back to set didn't tell anybody Action and you're gonna get scared and bang and shop behind the mom's head So that shot of her going like that, that's a bullet with some past there.

Can we bring that scene up, please? And then the same when the phone rings, they didn't have the phone ring, he just goes, bang at the precoz, Jesus. Really? He used to bring a gun, can you imagine? Yes.

The director bringing a gun like that. By the way, that's an awesome thing. Was that guy working with Bolt? Yeah. With Hove, Baldwin, about Baldwin. I like Baldwin. Baldwin, I think he said Baldwin. I think he said Baldwin.

I like I'm all that. That's why movies were great in the 70s, because you were allowed to abuse the talent. Fuck yeah, but I tell you what, you got to rebuke. Look at Shelley DeVal. What happened to her? Have you seen Shelley DeVal? She's a nightmare.

That fucking Kubrick drove her insane. Really? Wow. After they did the shining, he made Showing the flushes in nightmare. A fucking Kubrick drove her insane. Really? Wow. After they did the shining, he made Scatman and Crowley's do so many takes. He was gonna hit with the ax. It was like 150 takes.

Scatman Crowley's goes to do another movie and he does the scene like three takes. Director goes, we got it. They said he dropped to the ground crying. Really? I thought I could never make another movie after working with Kubrick. Yeah, he got her.

Oh damn. He got her good. Yeah, he got her. Oh, damn. He got her good. I'm painting peaches. She looks like the character. Yeah, he got her good. I mean, it looks like a fucking hamburger fries got her good. I'm not really, I'm just him. Did you find that clip?

Yeah, which scene is it? It's the scene with the mother and the dresser goes flying at her. I love her tone. It's just like I'm an asshole. It's like with my wife. Yeah, what one is it? It's like, okay, sorry. Here they broke Reagan's back with the harness.

What are you talking about in the exercise? They broke what's her name's back? Linda is a Linda Blair Linda Blair. It's thank you. When she's going up and down in the bed. Yeah, the harms. I got it. They broke her back.

They fucked her up. Are you kidding me? I'll do the story of the fucking the late. Is this it right here? Let me see this. Thank you. Thank you. The cold.

Where there's a shot in there. I don't use the gunshot in the scene. So the lady that does the voice of Reagan, she's not credited. Go back back go back might have been earlier. Yeah, go there we go. Maybe that I Know it's the sequel. Thank you so much for the tea I'll see you next hit thank you for the warm milk Did he like my meat? No, I don't know I know it's around here. That might have been the gunshot. Really? I know he used the gun in this.

Oh, man. That. I gotta go back to Raymore and Fl in this. Oh, man. That. I gotta go back to Raymore and Flanagan. That was it? When she goes like that, he shot a gun pass. I'm gonna go back just to here. I wanna see something. I wanna say that's it.

All right. I know a little further up. A little further up right there. So he wasn't getting a reaction. Bang. Oh, I wish he weren't like that. Once you snap. I got the voice.

That's how I get rid of the war. She has a professional voice actress. There you go. Thanks, Bobby. Sober for years. And she said, listen, for me to do that voice. I have to smoke cigarettes and drink whiskey and I haven't you know I've been I haven't done it that years so she had two like a sponsor and a priest

Jesus man and she would go drink whiskey Smoke a few butts go do a few takes and then go cry with the priest Oh, jeez I think we go it's okay. You know another only another day of this Wow, they put people through hell to make movies. Well, you let me tell you something about that movie, all the hell that they went through paid off. Yeah. Because that movie is still, to see a little girl, talk like a demon.

And I mean, it's still probably the scariest movie of all. They didn't, they didn't need any tricks. There was no sound fucking, you know, background music, nothing. It was just eerily silent. There's a lot of things. No, they just didn't play the moop. They didn't play it loud.

Yeah. Oh, but usually they have like a like a they have like a there's like music. You don't even need music like scary creepy music. It was just the fucking sound. The action has a scariest music of all. It's the scariest thing. No, I'm just, what are you talking about? I'm talking about like the asses.

Listen, back out you cocky fuck. Just you fucked up. You trying to, that was terrifying dude terrifying. Oh fine. Did you find the new one? Yeah, but it looks like it is a sequel. Oh, is it? Oh shit. Play it. Do you have? We play this. I don't think they have an actual trailer for it. There is a trail. I seen it last night. Pray for your devil. Get me the trailer. It's too dude. We come back. The guy from Iron Man 3 who played the nerd that became the cool guy. Nobody knows his name.

Wait, he was in momentum. He was in momentum. Yeah, the guy from momentum is in, Guy Blair. Guy Blair. Guy what? Pierce Guy. Blair.

Yeah, Guy Pierce. Guy Pierce you fucking dyslexic. Guy Blair Blair with. I see that's the There you go. Guy Pierce you. Fucking dyslexic. Guy Blair. Blair with. But it went over her with his head. Got it. It's not.

Yeah, this movie look. Dude, anytime somebody gets possessed by anything, I get it. I mean, that's because you did you believe in real possession? I believe that people believe it and it have definitely killed people who they thought were possessed. They were probably mentally ill. So you don't believe in possession. Maybe I don't know. There's some weird shit. There's people that have like spoken Latin that didn't know Latin. You sure? So my girl, the kid's mom, the exorcist is based on that's what the whole thing was a little boy and he was like speaking Latin and shit. Brut, Brut Herria, are you familiar with Brut Herria?

Don't do any fucking Puerto Rican Houses. Hi, girl, yo, my girlfriend, her family. I have seen some shit and I don't like it. What? So my girl's family, they'll play this music. It's like very tribal Dominican music, very African. And she'll have an aunt that will just like sit down and start sweating and the other women will go around her like

power down and basically in Spanish say like, oh, she's feeling spirits like everybody like turn the shit off like that's relax and it freaks me the fuck out. I told my girl. I said if you ever if that shit happens ever to you, I'm out. That happens to my wife too. It's called that's not a cause fucking idiot. I go out. I'm out fucking reading the future. Dude, I'm telling you there's a weird hot flashes. There's a weird weird shit I pisses smell like oats. It's it's just a All right, just a woman becoming old and you know your people like is a devil Is the devil she caves ice cream and pickles you know what I was a kid I will see my family in North Bergen and there was a spot by the train tracks

Yeah, where all the headless rooster carcasses, they would dump them because all the people that did Santa Rhea would do the sacrifices and dump the chickens by the train tracks. What did they do at the rest of the chicken? Probably ate it. Of course, yeah. No, it would be the door. The new double decker, KFC. I watched the whole corpse.

They would like slick they throw it and bleed them out. They would be in garbage bags by the whole corpse. They would like slip. They throw it and bleed them out. They're being garbage bags by the train track. You know that bunch of I want to say kids have been killed during exercises.isms. I know one got smothered. Like that's been like the real thing about actually. It's the guy from a memnto mush. What's his name? He just. All right. Well, that's not guy pairs are not even in that movie. So find the movie with guy pairs about the exorcism. Did you like hereditary? What'd you call me? Did you like hereditary? What'd you call me?

Did you like hereditary? No, what's that one? Oh God, that was the... That's the one. That's the one you should say. That's the new one. What do you mean? Oh shit, this is fucking terrible.

It's getting the shit out of it. Wait a minute, what is it about? It is a... It starts off, you think it's gonna be a creepy little girl movie. Okay. And it turns out it's a... This is it, seventh day. Yeah, it's like a be a creepy little girl movie. Okay. And it turns out, uh, it's, uh, this is it. Seven day. Yeah.

It's like a satanic cult. Kind of. Okay. Oh, really? I read it. Will you text these to me? The other move. We're gonna see other movie.

What's the other movie? Barbarian. Barbarian. Will you text these to me? So I remember because I'm old. Still not as good as the exorcist. That was just right around the corner. It's. It came out. It's art. Who's that? Still not as good as the exorcist. That was just about that though. Chris is right around the corner.

It came out last year. It came out? It's art. Who's that? It's, it's, it's, yeah, it's not as freaky as the one, the other one. What was it when you talking about? Hereditary. You said, that sounds terrible.

Hereditary fucked me up. Fucked you up. A redditary, it's all really got me. It's like pagan saints and shit and okay, and it gets wild. Did I make you watch the sadness? No, I haven't watched the sadness. No, you sure?

You haven't looked at a meribault the other day. It's fucking. The sadness is an Asian zombie movie that came out this year. Zombie movies are bullshit. This is weird. Listen dude, here's a zombie movie They're gonna they almost get you and then you barely get away and then somebody shoots their head and their brain because you got him in the brain I like how you like a simple movie coming out dude and he's like I came out two years ago

Yeah, there's a lot about two years of thanks Mike. Thanks for throwing in on the bush No fucking movie to be a black question Nobody saw the worst movie of all time. Literally generic Brad Pitt over there. This is why I hate social media, because you'll see something from two years ago, and you're like, this is today. I was like, you're just an old man on Facebook, Bobby.

That's what you're talking about. You're gonna cause me get what? Nothing. Fucking stick, thanks Bush. Couldn't have whisper Fuckin' stick. Thanks, Mosh. Couldn't have whispered in it to me later. You fucking piece of shit. I don't know. It's just a bike record.

Fuckin' movie coming out. How about a little pig Latinx name, the movie A, Fats O A? The hereditary super because it was advertised like a scary little girl movie. Yeah. And a certain co-host of mine on a podcast turned it off after 20 minutes. You mean this guy? And went, dude, everything in the first 20 minutes

was from the trailer. I went, what does that tell you? It's something else. Yeah. That if only the first 20 minutes are in the trailer, that means the rest of the movie, you have no idea what's gonna happen. Right.

And it's a bang. It's Ari Oster. He also did. did see a light go off over his dumb head. Oh Yeah, what do you mean, Dougie? What do you mean? I don't get it also did what was the European one? They can't miss a mark summer. What's that? Which I thought was Like an Iceland tight place and the village turns on them. The whole village? It's Coltie.

Pretty good. It's more like Coltie. He made a short in college. That's probably one of the most difficult movies to watch I've ever seen. Really? It's called, there's something strange about the Johnson's. And it is a, I think you had a ward on it.

That was me couple of days ago. A couple hours long. Did you go pick your ward off in the bathroom? You scumbag? Oh, yeah, it took a little floss and I pull it around. It fucking got that bitch out. Get it and fingernail clipper. That's what I do to my face tag. Oh my God. You have face tags. I don't know why am I diabetic? No. Do I have my fucking face? Am I dying? Like Morgan Friedman?

Look, Uncle Pebbleballs? Oh. Get him off, Morgan. I love you as an actor, but I, you're close up swimming with a throb in a bucket. Fuck it, little shit nuggets on his cheek. Well, there's the name of the episode, shit nuggets. We don't name him anymore, I don't think. Yeah, so I'm strange about the Johnson's is about a long-term

ancestral gay relationship in a family and it is Tough to sit through how long is it about half an hour? Yeah, I love it. It's doing one day with do a livestream. I'll watch it. It's Because I have a deal with big J if I see anything that like repulses me. Yeah, I have to text them Yeah, I texted him that and he texted me back. He's like, that was too much. Shit. For big J. It's tough. Oh, God.

Dude, I'm opening scene. I'll send you a mic. Like a black family. Yeah. Very like middle America. Uh, and the father walks it on the sun, jerk it off. And he gives him the night, hey, listen, everybody does it. You're not weird.

You're normal kid. Just, hey, listen, everybody does it. You're not weird. You're a normal kid. Just, hey, lock your door. But, you know, don't be ashamed. As a good name, Johnson walks out the door and you realize the kid was jerking off to a picture of his father. Well, that's the opening. There you go.

Christmas right around the corner kids. Yeah, don't make sure. Are we ending up? 34th day parade. Macy's parade. We couldn't be a blast. We couldn't end on the F**k it. Make sure you watch this is about the Johnson's the exorcist We're ending on that dude. You got to watch it. I am not watching it watching what if I wax and be like, hey This is a good movie give me a photo of me

You're old head shot with your stuff. I give him the hot Bobby You're still fat. I give him the hot Bobby. Sexy Bobby. We got a Benny in the Jets. Figs, have you stopped working on your shippel since Monday night? Oh my god, that's hilarious. No, I don't do shippel.

I had no idea what was going on. Luis calls me. Luis calls me. He goes, Figs, you're on skanks. Can you do a shippel impression? And I'm like, well, I don't think so. He just hangs up. Right.

So I go, what the fuck, whatever. So then I start walking around my house and I start saying, I love it, I love it, I'm a fucking trash can. Fucking name shi-pele. Like I just, like I'm like, this is bad. I can't do it. I go, I'll try. So I call him back.

He goes, Figgs, you better fucking nail it. Three, two, one. And I just go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go somebody who Lewis, I don't know all the details, but someone thought that Lewis knew Dave Chappelle. So Lewis go, yeah, I do know him. Here's the number. He must have game soda's number. Sodor picks up as Chappelle. And evidently it was a classic and something amazing.

And I interject. Go. Lewis did a thing with Fox News. Okay. The lady who produced it sent Lewis a link to Dave Chappelle on SNL and went, this is so funny. Do you have Dave's number? But Louis didn't see the link. Yeah. So he just got a text, do you have Dave's number and sent her Dave Smith's phone number? And she's like, oh my god, is this okay if I call him? And Louis was like, yeah, it's fine.

He's the closest thing I have to a brother. Yeah. Thinking they're talking about Dave Smith. So she starts texting Dave Smith, thinking it's Dave Chappelle. So they got a shoulder on three way and called her on the air. Right. And Soder talked to her for 15 minutes. Yeah, the fuck.

But because Soder does, he doesn't do Chappelle, Shepel. Right. He does this like old pontificating staring at the cigarette shiapal. Yeah And he It's amazing that he did so good and I know what a like take away from it, right? But it's just you know, he and he just keeps bringing up Lewis, right? Everything she asked them is my brother Lewis Jake Gomez. You gotta understand

Why is your shiapal John Wayne? You got to understand why is your shapel John Wayne We doing that like that very yeah got on Lewis Jacob rich bill he loves accents That's a good one I kind of sounded like the chair guy and family guy All you think sound like family guy, but it was so fun. And this poorly when is this out is this out now? It was last night. So we'll Toby out when it'll be out this week, but somebody already put somebody bootlegged it on the YouTube. Oh God. I want to tell you. There you go. Zach from Benny and the Jets. These

are all Patreon people. These are all top tier Patreon. YKWD people, right? Who's asking these questions? So this is a fans. Benny Jets, Zach, do you have an exclusive exclusivity with catalyst? And if you had to choose between writing or wrestling for a ton of cash, what would you choose? No, I don't have exclusivity. I've worked with a few other companies. And actually physically performing, being in the ring and managing is really fun, but I don't know how many years I could do it. It's physically taxing. Well, you got to lose some weight.

Right, I mean, just like taking bumps, like, even now, I'm 35. Your bump card doesn't last long. Yeah. So I writing I can do forever. And I really do enjoy writing. What happened to the writers in wrestling? What happened to the rocks writer? He was the shit.

Uh, Brian Gawitz, who now produces the young rock TV show and he's the rocks like dude. He is fucking, he was the best. Because now they want people that have like live sports experience and shit, but no. He was a standup. Bronger was? He could have been.

All right, he might have been. 100%. Because that's when they, if you go back to the rocks, best of the rock. Oh yeah. So he had, he had set up punches and tags. He would fucking murder people. But now they've been letting the guys talk on their own again, like they give them bullet points.

Yeah, I know, but they need a writer. The rock was smart. He had somebody who was funny, write him and then he added a stink to it. Yes. You know, they have a couple of who talks, who talks like Stone Cold or the rock? Oh, nobody's a great talker anymore. Because they had writers. Yeah. You need Patrice O'Neill wrote from for a while.

But I mean, before that, like, Dusty didn't have a writer. Frick Flair didn't have a writer. Right. Foli did all his own shit. Um, who else? What's the other guy? That's why you have so many like fucking blooper.

Routtu, Routtu, Routtu, Piper didn't have a writer. Yeah. There's so many weird ones where I hope it's like, I'm just gonna come in you brother. They have a lot of stuff, they were all on. You know what I mean? He'd be like, Jared love him to get you in your mouth. That's modern talker.

Okay, fine, but back in the day, they didn't have writers because they were all doing below. Oh, yeah. They were just fucking on coke and fucking up kill you. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd be a good talker to him. There's no better this podcast would be if I could do below.

The Iron Cheek test is positive for cocaine. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer.

You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer.

You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. You're just playing as a bad singer. He goes, no, did junk got a dog test positive? No, he says name in all these wrestlers. He goes, why are you naming these guys? He goes, they were all doing it with me. He threw all his reds under the bus.

No, back of the day, yeah, they were all out of their fucking awards. Yeah, I, I missed the rock. I still watched the rocks best of him. It's don't call fucking best of best. The best. The rock was the best. I loved it. I loved his just smash. Roni. You monkey ass. Put a shirt over the interview. It's head.

Yes, the torture Michael Cole. Yes, bend over. What are you doing? What in blue heavens? Are you doing? All right, guys, well, listen, we got to wrap this up. Zach, what do you get? Great show, man. Thanks for coming on. You guys. Thank you for having me. We were supposed to do an hour,

we did a fucking hour and 40. God damn it. Actually, yes, since we're talking about wrestling, I'll plug this. I am the first comic that's ever gonna headline the ECW Arena in Philadelphia. Oh, yeah. What is there now?

It's, they're turning it into a club bar called the 2300 arena. Uh, it's listen, when I say arena, it was a bingo hole, but it's where they did ECW, which is my favorite thing ever. And they're going to start doing comedy shows and they asked me to headline the first one. And it's myself Ryan Schainer and Lamarley. That's December the 15th in Philadelphia. Really, really pumped on. Congratulations, man. That's awesome.

I think it's really cool. So make sure you get your tickets for that. Where do they get the tickets? I just go online. I believe it's just look up the 2300 arena. Great. What do you got there, Figgs? Oh, you're saying it's perfect eyebrows.

You're fucking hairy bush fat. I mean, all this is perfect. And down there you just give up. Yeah, I mean, I'm, you know, a married guy. Yeah, but you give her something, but she likes it. She likes it. She does not. 100%. She hates it. Yeah, she like, oh, dude, you got a fucking general award. I'm fucking afro now. That's why I use manscaped. Use promo code Robin Fee. It's a real book getting follow me, give me the bandana.

Follow me on Comic Mike Figs, subscribe to fucking the YouTube page, the Young Guides Me and Robbie. We had a great episode with Maddie Smith, fucking it's killing it. Hell yeah dude, go to the stan.com, click my name, I have a bunch of dates at the end of the month. All right, check them out, you guys, fucking hilarious. Make sure you check out Mike Fiswarez.

Mike, what do you got before we make this whole thing anti-climactic with your voice? Call me at Mike V. Suarez. If you're watching on Patreon, Wednesday night, I will be at the Upstage Comic Club in San Antonio, Texas. The first weekend of December, I'll be at the Houston and Prov with Dan Soder. I mean, he has the charisma of a sponge.

He's a bit. God bless him. Mushy, come with me this weekend. Who called up a boss? boss was like Mike's funny? It's like what he goes He was that levity with most the other Sunday night and he goes they came up to me and they're like we need Swarves to do a half hour and bosses because my drug drops. He's like what? He was so scared of much doing a half hour

Mush is funny man. He's killing it. Joe, what do you got besides a lovely wife and a shitty torso? Just a cheese show on YouTube. Probably been cheese show. The first thing that comes up. Yep, the cheese show. Check it out. It's his ticket out of all this. So please help him out.

He really thinks it's going to work. He thinks that the whole world is waiting for cheese. No, they actually switched it up. You're doing skits and stuff. It's a whole new show. You're gonna love the old episodes and all the new ones. Him and his lovely wife, Olivia. The cheese show on YouTube. Check it out, like, subscribe. Go to our thing. If you're watching this on YouTube, you're getting a finatin. We put all these shows up for nothing, but go there, subscribe, hit the subscribe,

hit the like, and do me a favor, hit the reminder, and leave some comments on the shows. You guys have been killing it on YouTube. And also, make sure if you wanna see the show first, you wanna be in the chat. I mean, the chat people are fucking hilarious. I can't say all the chat people are just a fun fucking crazy chat. If you want to be in it, just go to patreon.com, slash Robert Kelly and become my supporter

over there. And it's very cheap. All for the price of cup of coffee, you get the JOP, you get an extra YKWD, you get to see the shows live, you get the culture, it's a lot of stuff. Go check it out and you're part of the club. You're a ladybug. Speaking of ladybugs, go to comicwearabels.com, get all your YKWD gear off, 20% off, use co-worked ladybugs.

Right there, get your shirts, get everything, and make sure you go to my website and find all my dates. I'm all over the place coming up. I'm very excited about that. But number one, go get my special. Killbox at LewisCK.com, that's LewisCK.com. I'm very proud of the special. It is kicking ass because of you guys.

We, I mean, dude, we paid off the special the first week. It was paid off. You guys stepped up and we made 19 bucks since then. But listen, the thing is, is that you guys are buying it. I appreciate it. Spread the word, go get killbox right now. It's gonna be up on the screen right here.

At some point, if I keep talking about killbox, she'll bring it up. I swear to, there she goes. Look at that. There she goes. There you go, buy it right there at luicie.com. Or roba kill.com. And new Nikki, thank you for everything.

You guys the best. We'll see you next week on You Know What The... You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás!

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