Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Zac's Cock

Episode Date: October 12, 2015

This week on ykwd: We have Sam Roberts, his "Guy" Adrian, Zac Amico and Stavros Halkias. We welcome for the first time two guests into the new studio. The famed booker of the Comedy Cellar, Estée, walks in and shares a couple of stories. Zac shows us his Prince Albert and Sam talks about his wife having kids.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Y qué es lo que es? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Vamos, vamos, vamos, vamos! ¡Tú la ponte es más grande!

¡Un poco más grande! ¡Dónde lo intento, como un cómic! I'm not gonna come into the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I always try to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. No topics of direction. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules.

Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said so there's weird graphics. It's rubber killing. You know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what dude! I guess... I'm fighting chestnuts.

I guess... I'm trying... to... run... and... it... What's up everybody we are back with YKWD Live. We have a great show today. We have a bunch of people that we know and then we have brand new dude.

Let's get into this. And we have for the first time ever, guests in the studio. We said to you, right, D-Poo? I mean, Scopo? Fuck, I hate your names. It's Chrissy. Oh, Chrissy. Yeah, I've said, I've said, I've said some guests in here now, from now on. We have some guests, and we have you guys are the first guests in the new studio. Welcome, what's your names, and where you from? I'm Chris from Connecticut. Your name is Fish. Chris. Chris Bobby. Chris. I would have liked fish. I'm Eddie from Brooklyn. Wow, you guys are interesting.

Hi. Hi. I really fucking spice up the show. That's a fuck. Hi. Did you know you were coming on? Maybe plans Well, we from I guess it's radio thing is easy as it is Everybody has a podcast. I hope you guys know it We have a two-minute podcast. It's called fucking Chris and what's your name again?

Eddie You didn't tell me that you were supposed to do the podcast for you. Oh, you're not. Trust me. You just fucking ruined that idea that we had. No, it's cool. Do it. Don't worry about it. Thanks for letting us come in and watch. No, guys. Thanks for coming on. And we, we from Chris. I'm from a water town Connecticut. Water town.

Which field, Connecticut? Where all the rich water town, Connecticut. Water town, which field, Connecticut, where all the rich people live. Are you rich? No. I would explain the Ghostbusters hoodie. Yeah, the finest one. And where are you from, bro? I'm from Bushwick, Brooklyn.

Bushwick, Brooklyn, and you know each other at all? No, no. So you guys are just fucking friends from this. Now you'll know each other from this. Yeah. You're coincidental. All right, who you fucking the room besides her I'm getting going into that gotta go gay yeah we go gay right away yeah we gotta go gay that's where we get it out of the way you know what I mean well thanks coming in

you guys want to be on the show how do they do it Chris they can email ykwd producer at rightcast.com and and subject coming on the show or want to come on the show right? Right. I cool and yeah, we're gonna start having a lot of guests in here I want you know, we're trying to get a live show going in the next couple weeks with a two two with surprise guests Yeah, don't mention the guests. I'm not mentioning them all that person said don't mention it because there's a problem with something Okay, really. Yeah. Oh now I got go see this live show. Yeah, there's problems I know what you're talking. I know what the problem could be. What is it? Yes, right? But if it's not we still have the other one. Oh, yeah, it still be a great. Yeah, fantastic

Yeah, we still have one I mean one guest is no kidding So anyways, it's going to be at the village on the ground at the lounge upstairs. I'm going to start doing live shows up there. And what else do we have? What else Chris? What else do I have announced? I remember these all if fans also want to send in items you're back behind you. If you look behind me all this stuff is sent by fans. So if you guys want to send shit to us some gotsy shit to put on the bookshelf behind me all this stuff is sent by fans. So if you guys want to send shit to us some gotsy shit to put on the bookshelf behind me, where do they send it to?

Just tell me you're sending it first at YKWDproducerRikeHas.com. Then send it to the comedy seller, 117 McDougal Street and put care of Robert Kelly. What's a zip code? I didn't go that far ahead, all right? You didn't get the add-on. I got 117 McDougal Street. Just put it in there and it becomes a thousand and a thousand, you know? We'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out. The fucking dumbest guy on the fucking planet. Nope, that's not it. I forgot it. Come back to me. It was 1-0-0-1-2. That was pretty quick. Great work. Bobby. I sent you the Bill Murray picture behind you We're up on the shelf near in between the Jamison bottles. I fucking love you

Can we straighten that out a little bit? There you go fucking great dude. I love that's one of a most Did you like it when you saw it on the show? Yeah, yeah, you go hey honey look look? I told you they fucking you You'll never fucking put it like they fucking you fucking plot they used it every show a minute Do you have a girlfriend? No, boy, that fucking bit didn't really make sense just made you sad All right, well, let's go around the room of course we have my pal. Hello. Well, you know, it's great Chris You do this is your thing well we should have Lauren do this Hello, well you know it's great Chris you do this is your thing well we should have Lauren do this

All right Chris you do all right, so my right we have very funny comedian Zach Amiko everybody first time on the YKWD podcast Hey, buddy, hey, everybody. Thanks for having me on me dude. I'm excited to have you on we were I was supposed to I heard about you a while ago Lewis came in here and fucking started a ruckus with you too. My man, my pro wrestling manager, Lewis Sheikov. Yeah. He does take all the credit for you. That's really cool. Yeah, he is so my Bobby the Brain here. Every time he has a good joke, he goes,

you know, that joke is cause of me. I got you on the show. It's cause of me. Yeah, I wonder where you learn that from. I wish I could do that with Chris. Wow, okay. Boom. Boom. Yeah, well wonder where you learn that from. I wish I could do that with Chris. Wow. Boo. Yeah. Well, where's the back? That was, that was, that was, that was good. You can't boo that motherfucker. Oh, I booed it. No, you can't. Let me see that. I chuckled. We, all right, I'll take it. I don't give a shit. And then who do we go next to him? From the

Sam Roberts show. Sam Roberts, everybody. There's no the it's just Sam Roberts Show and there's an apostrophe after the last ass because it's possessive Sorry sir, that's okay. I mean I thought everybody knew that I thought it was cuz you it's country Jesus really it's branding It's a branding yeah, how long you've been branding? Wow, I guess they gave him a shit in your time slot What would you say so that since they gave him a shite your time slot. I read. What would you say, sir?

Since they gave him a shite your time slot. Hey, you can take that. I actually, I find myself in it. I'm in a 4-shoot again then. I'm a fucking dildo. All right, I'm trying to do, let's go. Who's next? And then last we have Stavros Halchius.

Hello, everybody. Newly to New York St's go, who's next? And then last we have Stavros Halchius. Hello everybody. Newly to New York Stavros. That's right. Also we have D-Poo, Yo, Lauren. And we have Adrian in the room. He's here for me. Adrian, Sam's boy. Sam's guy.

That's right. Yeah, I don't know if I like this because you were, Adrian, first of all, you were with Adrian. step up to the microphone. First of all you you were my guy first. No, no, I wasn't. Adrian I will get the fucking footage. I will get the audio. You came here. You weren't Sam's guy. You were Opiean Anthony's guy. Not fucking Sam's. You were opian Anthony's guy. Not fucking Sam's. Okay. I gave reports to Sam.

I didn't even reported nobody. You fucking were my, well technically I reported E-Rock, but then I just started. Technically you fucking reported to me. Okay, E-Rock, I'll take E-Rock, I'll take anybody else but not fucking Sam. You were my guy before Sam's guy.

You came here, I fucking took you under my wing and I fucking embraced you and I taught you the ropes on how to open the door How to get a coffee? Cream and sugar no cream no sugar no sugar. No sugar. You know this Adrian come on. No grains no sugar I'm I mean, I'm saying thank you sweetie. I don't even drink coffee and and and and and and huh? I don't even drink coffee as it needs to know any of you that you oh mother fucker. He's been retrained You know, man, you're retrain. I want to talk my shit now. You're not on top of nothing Look, I see you sweating your nervous. He's not he's nervous. I'm here

I mean nervous because he's next to me the boss The big guy. We'll see how long this lasts this show free goes on forever that show they pay a lot of money a lot of money That could get canceled anytime. Then where you gonna be? I'll just go wherever Sam goes. Oh really gonna go to fucking Scarstale there was a apartment? To the Sambo show out of a fucking closet. Is that where you're going? Look around my friend. We're doing big things. Yeah it looks nice in here. I mean AC would be great. We have AC over here. I can't help but if you're a fucking sweaty pale white guy All right, well, if you know a fuck you dude

Okay, I'm happy to be back, but I'm like well. Why do you show it by fucking I'm here while I'm here saying Okay, I'll split custody with him. Okay, I got a hundred percent to be this but 100 First of all, I didn't allow him in the studio. He's here with me. Yeah, no, but you we don't allow We don't I didn't text him. I was going to text him to come in, but I forgot to do it. I brought him. He just comes. Yeah, but here's a deal. We don't allow producers and publicists in the studio. That is very true. That's true. But he's technically, and less and less you up. But I'm not really either of those things. I'm just this guy. It's different. You know, it's kind of like whatever he needs. You're getting

away in a deck of Caledon today, but I'm going to look into this. Next time. You need a guy clause. I do have a guy clause. You're right, Bobby. You seem to be a little irritable with this whole thing. I'm doing me. I'm yeah, it hurts my feelings because I gave this kid a shot in the biz. You't you you and Sam you were the first You got up Sam let him talk you were the first person in the business to show me genuine kindness. Yes, super nice Yep, keep going. How me out with stuff. Yeah, he showed you kindness. Guess what it ain't show friends and show business Okay, plus I kind of yeah, I went for the money. Yeah, we don't need to find this. Okay. Plus, I kinda, yeah, I went for the money. Yeah, well, listen, you can have a guitar.

I mean, I'll take one today. No, no, not a fucking part of the show. All right, well, I'm glad that the Sam, Sam Roberts show. It's not the, what's, it's possessive. Sam Roberts show. Thank you. When I'm on it, the Bob and Sam show.

Wow, that's a a it's a fucking hair Just get over it dude. Your number skyrocket when I'm off. That's true. I mean fucking rocket I mean, you know people are excited It's like a fucking like somebody just to have it a heart attack just joltz up like you know in a pulp fiction when they stuck that thing in Your jail and yeah, that's what I am to your fucking show. That's why it's Bob and Sam dramatic. It's unbelievable I don't know if it's quite that high, but oh my god Oh my god Liz and SD is SD can you add repeat please get up?

No get the fuck up just move You should have actually instinctually got up. All right, I am, this is, let me tell you something. This, this is, put the headphones on so you can hear us. Right there. This is a great honor. We've been doing this show for how long? Years. Three years.

Three years. I invited her up before that, when I said she'd come up. Ed, you're crossing. There's the only thing you took in the invite. And really? That's all. You've never invited me.

I didn't know it was that. I didn't want to, like, hey, you want to come up? Because I thought I didn't salt you. I have to work. I didn't want you to. Let me just say who this is, everybody. The comedy seller, the great comedy seller, the world famous comedy seller, the best comedy seller the the world famous comedy

So the best comedy club in the world they went on the one and only the reason why it's one and only the reason why It's the best club is because of why because the comics that work there who picks those people who Individually picks those and makes the judgment who works this club where when and how So it makes the judgment who works this club where when and how Estee that's who and she's here right now Thank you, and everybody knows about you and and they don't even know you and they don't even they've never been heard you But everybody who listens to the show knows who you are. Thank you. How are you? I'm great, and they had a great night. I was gonna talk about this. I was gonna talk about it It was really something can you fix her mic so she's on it? It was really something special.

Can you tell people what it was? It's hard to explain. It was a rick-cromb thing, but it turned into something else, right? Right. Then making a documentary about Rick Cromb. All his jobs and history of from Chicago to being a stand-up, to being a Broadway guy, to teaching now comedy. And the way he approaches everything, you know, it's quite special. And as they were doing it, they were interviewing different people throughout the years that worked with Rick. And so all these guys... You got to turn you so that's really unprofessional. That's why I don't have you on the show as he...

Oh my God! The owner of all! Sam, the owner of all has come in the room. This is incredible. What a great show. Scopo, get the fuck out of there. Get off of here. This is the best show ever.

Yeah. Just sit over here. No, sit over here with a Scopo sitting. They have to sit there because I kicked them out. It would be weird now. Wow. This is the owner of all is sitting down. Of course, he's disconnected on the phone.

He's buying. I'm testing with John Legend, just hold on. Are you really? Are you really? Yeah, well, okay. Just say I'm hanging out with Chris Scopo and Stavros. Of course. So what was, so she was explaining the other night.

So go ahead, I'm sorry for the interruptions. So they interviewed people throughout the years worked at the comedy seller with him. Right. And everybody was so forthcoming, and so loving. Yeah. And Bill Grandfence was the original MC. Right, was he?

How did that start? How did the comedy seller, what was the comedy seller before that? Piano bar. Piano bar. So Bill comes in, and he says I want to do a comedy show here. Right. He spoke to many and You know, so many was willing to try and He had somewhat Experience from college and he had connection, you know, Paul Reiser

I'm gonna have you people that you went to school with right and work with right and that's how it started Charles Zucker was his psychic. He was playing the piano. When Charles Zucker left to LA, Recrom came as a psychic. And the relationship that developed since then. So while they were interviewing everybody, he says I think it was no, I'm It was bills idea right to do the reunion No, it was the distance. Okay, so that is so maybe ricks. Yeah, the idea somehow came up right let's do a reunion show from 25 years ago. Right. And so we decided that you know one one show it's going to be a reunion show. Right. We'll see what happens. Yeah. And in the

meantime so Ray Romano is now filming here in the city. vinyl his new show vinyl. Yes. Which is sex, sex, sexstruction rock and roll except Scorsese in Rio Thank you, Asi for Saying what I can do. That's HBO and Scorsese. I just want to make it easier now And he you know Ray being Ray Wonderful Ray a greatest guy ever right agree to appear yeah, and then We reached out to John Stewart and then somehow Louis with every and we have Mark Owen who was at that time also in MC. Right. And it's a little bit of a conflict with Rick but then they became great friends. With who?

With Rick. Rick Roman and Mark Owen. Had a conflict? Yeah, because you know, Rick really didn't know Mark Cohen and gay jokes, so what have you and he thought he's a hater, but it wasn't. Mark Cohen's gay? Yes, no. So anyway, they became great friends. And then Marco and then Aaron Havie and Bill flew in from LA for that show. It's crazy. And then John Stewart showed up. Ray Romano, Louis CK, Colin. Colin was down.

And Greer came in. It was fantastic. And those are all guys from 25 years ago. That's crazy. I walked in. I was around the corner at the village underground. They would do another premiere party for Benders, the new IFC Show, which was a fucking blast. me, Chris DeStephano, Andrew Schultz, Godfrey, Kurt Metzger, and Jim Norton. And they were showing little clips. It was the best premiere I've been to. Because usually they show the actual show, which isn't meant to be watched with a group of people, television shows. It can be kind of boring and like nerve-wracking. They just showed our clips and then let us do stand up.

And then there was a massive party upstairs. Then I come over here and sometimes when you go by the cell you know there's like something going on, there's like a weird buzz, there's a weird vibe, there was something happening, I went downstairs and the hallways packed. Ray-Ram-Colon Quinn, then Ray Romano and Louis CK Bill and, and then Mark Cohen, and then they they billin' on with Rick, and they were singing on the piano, and everybody was just fuckin' dying laughin'. You see, they were great, just sittin' there waiting to go on. And it was almost a weird snapshot of back in time,

what it must have been like, because that's what we do. On the weekends, with me, Keith, we're all sittin' in the hallway, waiting to go on, the next guy going up You know blah blah. They were doing the same thing. It was just a fucking weird and there was so much money in that hallway I was sitting to go and like Jesus Christ. I get if one if every work is just give me a million Fucking done. I'm out. I'll come back. I'll host every weekend. I'll just fucking I'm done There was a lot of dude. There was a lot of money in this fucking building Fucking a cash in that hallway man. I thought about everything except of how much money

I saw yachts I saw houses I just went ray and Louis alone and then Stuart here. That's fucking crazy. He was so sweet. Oh thank God nothing happened That would just be we'd lose a lot of anything happened That's why we kept the secret Did you really keep your secret? No, no, no. I I went downstairs and was literally an aw first of all this is what really got me Bill and in Chrome on stage together. I fucking hate the piano. You know this, because I'm chubby.

And for me to get on stage, I have to maneuver like a fat ballerina. I have to twist and turn at the right moment. Goffin Bitt is a fat host. We have to kind of swivel at the right time or knock in somebody's beer and nachos off a table. But the other night I kind of got the piano. And why is there? Rick Crome and Bill, they did a song to you, a tribute to you.

I know. That was... The girl from Deepam, Deepam, Deepam. It was so fucking funny. And it was such a, it was like old school comedy that I, you know, I started hating on all this weird shit everybody's doing, you know, like everybody's trying to do different shows and the roast this and the that and the fucking blood. I was like, can't we just do comedy? Why are we searching for some other fucking way? And I was, the other, I was like, you know what? I, I kind of got it. I was like, this is just fun. Stand up comedy is what we do, but that the other night, just

seeing them on stage, singing songs, bringing people up, and people were doing old bits, Alan Havie did his soap on a rope. Soap on a rope bit. So it was just fun to see us having fun again. And the audience loved it. Oh my God. Yeah, it was really hard.

It was one of the funniest shows ever. It was really hard to be a comic in the hallway hearing that audience. There was really hard to be a comic in the hallway hearing that audience. There was something about that. Their laughter was beyond organic. It was a, yeah, they were fucking having a, like a lot of people with belly laughing, ridiculously having a good time. And it was hard for a comic like I'm sitting there going fuck.

It's almost like, let me get in this, let me get in this. Did you get to see Marco and? I didn't, I came in right after. He killed, he destroyed without one joke. He just went up and he brought us. Yeah, really? Just being Mark Cohen. Yeah, him and Rick Cromwell, fucking fantastic.

But it was great to see Grunf Bill because he's the guy who started it all. Right. And where is he? LA. What is he doing? He's busy in the business. Is he a writer?

Yeah. Producer, writer. Yeah, you could tell he had a jacket like he was doing something important. You know what I mean? It was on a comic jacket. I have a little money. I'm doing some important shit jacket.

Well, you weren't. I didn't even see you. Where were you? I was there. Where? In the room. In the room on the floaters. Oh, you were just in the room enjoying it.

Yeah, for the most of the time, Yeah, what'd you think it was fantastic? We've I mean you usually dying that this was happening at the club. Yeah Wow I asked these fucking fans Because she asked he could fucking she sold she's fucking went through the story, brought us there up and it was amazing. As he's give you a good story now, but the truth is she was very negative about this show all along. Tell them the truth. Tell them, that's why I was silent there because as he's like, as he was, with, with, I'm not talking about planning the show.

I know. I was telling them, I was telling me in them how the show was. You have to, you have to, I was thinking. So, I was thinking me then how the show was. You have to, you have to be. I was thinking, so all I was thinking. I'm hanging on one second. What? So all I've sound effects now. So all I, that's half. So all I was thinking.

So all I was thinking that the whole time I was sitting there is like Jesus Christ, you know, that we, we, in the month. Yo creo que la historia de la ciudad de la de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¿Dónde hay un poco de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puos de pu de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de pu de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puestos de puest What know I'm talking about. You're just talking about your career. What know I'm talking about is exactly what you mentioned before, which I am against as well. It's a stick, you know, a team, whatever. This never can work out many times. It doesn't work out well. What happened, it worked out beyond anything that we planned or we thought it's

gonna happen how it's gonna we weren't sure I was sure Ray is gonna come yeah but I wasn't sure about John Stewart I was I didn't know about Louis you know I mean so it could we didn't book it as a reunion show a regular show right that's what it was book this is the thing that nobody around me seem to understand Robert that you're a genius This You have to say yes you get your phone off the table for the love of God Stop ruining my show John legend again. I'm sorry Are you sure you're saying it right? love of God. Stop ruining my show. I was John Legend again, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you sure you're saying it right?

It's not John Logan. Is he a bass player from Brooklyn? So you have to say yes to things and try things. And then you talk about, forget it. I'm saying a guy in my position, like, you want to do your part. Just a pep talk you gave Norton a long time ago? No. To try things. But this is forget it. I'm saying a guy in my position, like, you know, you want to do your pot. Just a pep talkie gave Norton a long time ago? No.

To try things. This is the thing. So somebody comes, somebody comes here with an idea. Yeah. And you don't know what the odds are. Maybe it's 70, 30 that it won't come off. But you got to try because if you do 100 of them, a certain number of them will work out.

But then if they do flop, everybody around you is happy. You know, like they think he's, I told him not to do it, you know? Right. And so that's always a situation. But including doing your pot, you know, the pushback I got back letting you do your podcast up here from everybody.

No, I didn't, but now it's fucking up. Have you ever not, have you ever decided to say, did any of it tell you, did your father, you don't have to say everything in your head? Has that ever happened? He always said everything. But he said it in a better way. Oh, man.

The fuck, man. I'm just trying to make you show interesting, you know, and trying to be honest. There's a door right there. If you'd like to make this, it was fucking interesting. You're shit, you're phone ruined it. And John Legend and your shitty things, you said to me, and that's the, that was interesting about it was this isn't CNN asshole you know

here I am talking about what a good outcome it was that your podcast is so good I'm sorry I'm sorry okay and you're and you're putting me down I'm sorry no I'm kidding with you I I understand what you're saying that you look it I got a lot of pushback when I was opening the underground from a lot of comics okay but I know what sd saying and then the band you were freaking out about the the in the underground opening the, you know, playing the bumper music between the comics. Yeah. And now people like, you know, it's like it's always like resistance to everything and you just have to try things. I think I, but I understand what S.C. saying and I believe that too. I don't want to walk in, I got forbid I walk into the cello one night and there's an improv group on stage on a Saturday night Is there?

We used to have okay, you see it was an act and I was a spot, but I love improv. I'm not saying that I love that who it was Who please? Michael King who's that? King and Mindy he's only the producer of Sex at the city and he's huge. Is he? Like huge like me, huge physically or? Huge like in the business. Mentally. Yeah, but I get it, but like, you know, look, I understand that these theme shows and all the stuff, I get it.

Yeah, I went to the, you know, one of these roast things and it was fun. I had a blast and I think they're cool, but, you know, I'm, you know, one of these roast things and it was fun. I had a blast and I think they're cool, but, you know, I'm, you know, I feel like there's a lot of times, you know, we get to, you know, bring people on stage and blah, blah, blah, sometimes I'm like, all right, just can you do, it's hard enough to write a fucking joke and write good stuff and go up there and perform it well and, you know, and then all of a sudden,

there's all this other high jinks, but the other night kind of made me go with the piano and the singing the songs. I was like, that, this is fun. I get it. Stand up is awesome. It's my, I love it. But this other stuff is fun. It's, it's kind of, you know, stop being such a comedy snob and check it out.

But also the other one. I don't ever talk on these two in the room. Okay. No, go ahead. I was going to hit the bathroom. No, but also those are like the most legendary, some of those legendary performers ever. So I mean, you can make an exception when it's that kind of talent and that kind of, it was kind of people.

Dude, I was in awe when I walked downstairs. I opened the door and I was like, what? You should see it face. I didn't know what to say. I mean, I know Louis. Louis saw me as like, hey dude, like why didn't you say hi? But I was just looking at Ray Romano's back. It was John Stewart, Justin left.

Louis was there, Bill was there, Rick was there. They were coming off stage. Bill and Chrome came off stage like they were fucking 27. I mean, they were like, we never did that before. They were like, they were very excited. They were good, they were good. And Louis, I saw Louis laughing.

He was laughing at the island. I noticed it too. Island just went to all these places. Island Havie fucking murdered. Yeah, and I turned around and Louis was just bending over with laughter. And let's really laugh. And Alan had some fucking great new shit.

I mean, really, I mean, everybody was laughing in the heart. It was fun, it was crazy man, I love seeing that shit. It was crazy. It was a nice insight into how the comedy community works, where the biggest stars in the world are unequal with people who were not stars at all and will come down and support each other and can still consider themselves unequal with people who were not stars at all and Will come down and support each other and can still consider themselves all part of the same all on the same level in a sense You know and that doesn't exist like and doesn't seem to exist in the music world anymore

Maybe didn't the 60s where people would drop in and jam with each other and be supportive of each other the comedian The comedians are quite supportive of each other. And so you see somebody like John Stewart showing up who's, you know, what top 10 biggest stars in the country, right? Showing up for a Recreum's show. It's pretty unusual. It's pretty epic. It's pretty, and we do comics.

We do have a huge community that we do support each other. Even though we talk shit and we're the worst that fucking trash in each other and fucking, you know, saying shit, especially behind each other's backs. But in front of each other's faces, it was really cool to see that. Epic show happened and, you know, I was just glad to be a part of it.

Yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing. And you came out and they gave you such a great No, that was nice. They gave you a really great endorsement and well no build build give a whole tribute to SD being the heartbeat of the comedy seller Yeah, what else did he say? I see? I was the girl from EP The biggest tips

All right relax look at him with the biggest I tip. I love all the comics in the room just quiet down when you two show up. The really is, you know what I see on the hard shit we were saying before you guys said, he was ready, he was saying some shit, and now you guys show up, fucking everybody's on the bed. I mean, you're holding your breath, Zach.

You're terrified. I've been meditating for a while. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I'm terrified. I've been meditating for a moment. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat.

I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat.

I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was intimidated by Patrice's hat. I was one of them, you know, actually has power the other one Just on paper has the money. Go ahead. He has a pool too We don't want to ask yeah, do you have anything? Thank you for putting on the spot there Bob I Don't let me ask you let me ask you for you got to get two people to recommend you

Well even, if I hear about somebody, I'll ask people that are our comics. If they know what they think, used to be recommendations of two other comics and then a DVD. But now, with the YouTube clips and whatever, I can pretty much take a look myself. And then invite them for an audition if I like it. And explain the audition process. What is it? Five, seven minutes of life on stage. On what night?

Friday, last show. Friday last show. Yeah. What spot? Around the second spot. Second spot. Host goes up, comic, and then you. Exactly.

And you get five to seven minutes. It depends how they do my question is What's the reasoning behind that the Friday second show last show the last show I don't want to bump Comics that are booked for for audition. I see Right and then and then how do they know if they go how do they know? I talked to them because I talked to them Is she make because the last show can run a little bit late if necessary. Because there's no show afterwards, that's why.

And how do they know? You talk to them after? Yes. And you say yes or you need to come back? It depends, yeah. I said, I learned not to say 100%, very rarely, 100% yes. Right. Okay, I'll give you some spots.

Let's see how it... Michael Che right away Right away Well, it's a old timer. Yeah, yes Robert Kelly No, some people But the new people I sometimes I'm not sure Some people I'm not sure that they're going to work out or not. So I'll figure, OK, I'll give them a spot.

Let's see what happens. And if they do well, I'll get another spot and work them in. If it doesn't, I drop it. That's great. All right. Is the stage named Deepu a showstopper? Is that like a, you would never work with a guy like that? That's it.

Oh god, yeah. You know what, you'll, that question is different. Yeah. No, you know what, I want you to leave. All right, no, that's D-Poo. Well, this is Stavros. This is D-O-A-S-E-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A That's a family nickname. Is that a family nickname? Yeah. What's your real name? Umberdeep. We've been over this. What the fuck?

I'm learning your name as Umberdeep, a fucking year in. You know what the fuck? We do this. We do this. We do this. There's an episode titled, actually, on the show. He's renamed one time. Why is it not like a, I should be on the wall?

We should have named umber deep studios Umber deep what last name is Gil really looked out with the last name umber deep Gil Umber deep AMAR Umber deep no ummer. Ummer deep. Yep. Umber deep. Yep. Umber deep. Yeah Really hard does It doesn't work I will on the I want sure it's made immediately. I'm er deep. I'm er deep with a question mark All right, well guys. Thank you for coming in. We're gonna take a break real quick No, the owner of everything

Right? Yeah, yeah, I love you to death you the best. See you later. Thank you for stopping by. Liz, thank you for bringing S.D. by. Did you get Liz on the show? No. No, Liz. Liz on your show window. Liz doesn't come on the show.

She hates it. I do. Not the show. You don't hate the show. I love you. I love you. I don't want to go. Say you love me into the microphone, please, because they heard that hate loud.

Say I love you. I love you, Robert Kelly. I love you they heard that hate loud say I love you I love you Robert Kelly. I love you too. That's yeah, I love you. I love you back Robert Kelly I love you. I love it. I love you. SD SD. No, you love me. Of course. I love you Robert. Say it better Look at me look at me. Look at me look Say it like you mean it. Yeah, don't look at the ceiling. Look at me. Look at me in the eye. Look me right in the eye. I love you Robert Kelly.

Wow. Oh. Oh. I don't I have. Hi man. I have to go every day. I'll see you later. Bye, SD.

All right. Listen man, that was, we're going to take a break real quick. I'm going to do two reads today and then we're going to come back into this show, live show. We're going to around an hour or so left of it, maybe an hour and 20, but I'm going to get these reads in. So just stay tuned. You guys watching live. We'll be right back.

You guys listen in Monday. It's going to take two seconds. All right, you know what, Dad? Yeah, check it out, man. The sun on your face. Your season-long fantasy football team may be going strong, but check this out. You don't have to wait until week 16 to get paid.

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They ain't no bees. So you just stick with the vibees and the dildies. So that's it. Is it a big dilding? Um, medium. Medium to big. What's medium to you? A neiner.

A knife. Oh, no, it's Jesus. God, even. I'm going to leave. You're leaving. Medium to big what's medium to you a Niner I'm gonna leave I'm gonna stand pull up my four and a half putt jerk off to a nine-inch cock Really all right well I I'm a big fan of Adam and Eve Here's why you don't have to go in that dumb store and the toy store You know they call it adult toys and walk in and go, how much for this? I remember my wife.

And Deep whose dad following you around the whole time. Alright, fuck it. We are back in the show. Let's go. By the way, Will just texted me. Who's Will? Sylvan's. He's dead to me.

Will goes, sorry, dot, dot sorry dot dot dot not gonna make it Thank God Adrian just put the headphones back on All right, that was pretty I mean look man. That was pretty fucking epic to have those people come in this room I see to walk in this room and explain You know just to say that you know for your comic or people wondering It's a pretty hard thing to get into this club i mean the list is long and um...

for her to uh... you know explain the process and the book that it do it five minutes but i think i was following all who the fuck was it somebody just denied it was jay more just fucking just uh... he's? Somebody just denied it. It was Jay Moore just fucking, just, he's a monster, just killed it. And she was like, okay, go ahead. And I'm like, fuck it.

Let's just do it. And this is really too though. You know you did good when she's still there, when you're done. If you look up and she's gone, she's not. Upway. Yeah, don't go up and find her. Don't go up and go, what do you think? Well, I wasn't there.

I left halfway through a five minute said, what do you think? How long ago, what's it? How long? That was a long time ago. Was that stool-humping days? Yeah, I used to fuck when I fucked the stool. And they didn't have a stool. That's how I got out of it. You brought your own out of the mic's neck?

I brought my own stool. Hey, Duke, can you bring this up when you bring it? Can you bring this stool up for the host yet? I fucked the stool. And Macyo, the guy Macy used to do a thing where he used to pretend it was a beerstein. And then Patrice goes, oh shit, you just drank out of the beerstein, the Bobby fuck. time and the pictures goes oh shit you just you drank out of the beer stand the bobby fuck yeah was crazy back then but that's that's pretty

like the other show the other night was fucking nuts it was weird to see all these guys hanging out the way we hang out I mean Louis was down the with notes Ramana was fucking, just listening to Stuart and Alan went out paving. It was fucking epic. I mean, I just didn't even talk. Kind of like the way you guys were when they entered the room. I've never seen.

I'm pretty sure I peed my pants. This shut down. This room shut. You guys should. Yeah, what am I supposed to do? Zach, tell me what you scared of. Are you a stand-up comedian, too, right? Yeah, what you scared of. Are you a standup comedian too, right? Yeah, I do standup.

Okay, and you're new, right? Yeah, I'm pretty new. But how new? Like four years new, so not that new. Okay, four years new, that's pretty new. Dude, that's fucking new. That's so weird that comics think they have to be some type of, dude, that's new.

Ten years is maybe where you should be fucking starting the middle headline. So you have like six more years to become a working comedian. I mean, the fuck you for you. I mean, I did it in three. But the thing is, no, that's, that's, that's, God damn no.

So you're just petrified, right? Of them, yeah, absolutely. That was petrified. Oh yeah, let's, oh my God. Sitting next to the guy that screamed in my face every night when I used to sell tickets for CB's comedy club, damn street. Yeah. Oh my God. Sitting next to the guy that screamed in my face every night when I used to sell tickets for CB's comedy club, damn street. Yeah.

Oh, thank God. You're lucky as Asperger's and he didn't know that. Oh, I know, thank God. Thank God his ego wouldn't allow me to stay in his memory. Oh my God, you're that guy? I used to stay on the corner of Bleaker and McDougall. I ran, I worked the door at CB's comedy club. Now, now, be honest.

Were you told to come up here and get get people before they went into the seller? Oh, no they ban they told us we weren't allowed and the exact words we were supposed to say is hey It's right over there if for any reason you don't get in or it's sold out come back and talk to me I wasn't even allowed to pitch really if they said they were going in the seller and I ran that team and I told the guys that Very specifically and I fired people for trying to steal people from the seller. No shit. I think it very seriously because I respect these guys. Is that an earring in your lip? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I thought it was a mole and I kept moving. I was gonna throw up. I was like, just pluck it off. Oh, you should see the one through my deck. Oh, yeah, you guys see his print salver. Jesus, that's so good. I'm excited I've ever seen scope. I gotta see it, dude. Yeah. you want to see it on my phone? You just want to say it. I

Don't know what's better with it. I mean, do you want to see my heart dick on my phone? Or do you want to see my tiny pud in real life? What what's your pleasure? I think that's a question for you. I mean, I don't give a shit. I'll take my dick out on the show. Why don't we ask the very nice So that she I'm just concerned when you go down on a girl with that thing does to her well Let's see it before you fucking I'm sure it's not it's not from the movie seven It's pretty gross

Really the fucking the fucking night. Don't try to save it. I really try to The fucking night. Don't try to save it. I really try to save it So all right look can we not I can't show it on the camera. We can show everything but his dick if you want Like we get everyone's reactions. Yeah, I want everybody's reaction but his dick. Of course. Okay. Go ahead Where he's showing his real dick or oh, yeah, I show his dick. Yeah How can you see it? I'm not gonna want to wait wait wait wait the microphone is the way Show is dick yeah Go that way show the fans let the fancy No, no, no, no, no, no so hard. Put it away! Put your dick away! Oh my gosh. That's...

Oh my... Adria, you missed being here? I'm good. Oh, sorry, the Sam Robert, I know, no, the fuck off. How did the show go? Sorry, you guys are talking wrestling. Fucking... I got fucking wrestling dick on my phone.

That fucking wrestling dick on your phone that fucking that's a link dick Twenty minutes ago we had the coolest show that this shows ever had Yeah, Bob look how good it looks on my phone though What's wrong dude can I say something? What's wrong with a lot of head to a lot of head to it. What's wrong? I got Yamol head. What's wrong with the edge of your dick? Everything. Why is the helmet so shiny? Yeah.

I'm photogenic. Terrible accident. Yeah. He put it to the bowling ball machine. Did you see it? I hit in scope. That's really quick. Good, don't look.

What? In scope. Hey, why did you get that? And what is that for? Is that just to be different? I got it when I was like, the first time I got it, I was like 16. And I thought, when I heard that was a thing you could get,

I've always wanted it. Why? That's not a nice way. Why? I just seemed like something that was supposed to be for me. You got to really, exactly. I loved it. Why does that freak?

So it's a great sense. Do girls. You gotta really, I actually loved it. Why does that freak so? Why does that make sense? Do girls like it? Yeah, I get it. I think half the reason I ever get laid is because girls see it and I like, all right, I gotta try that. Are you sure it's not that weird beard that doesn't connect? Oh yeah, my awful Amish fucking just bottom beard.

I have it, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't connect, which is great. I think you look good. You remind me, what's that movie? Forget it. I'm like, I'm not gonna go. No. No. No.

No. No. Seven's the movie where Bobby was dead at the table. Oh. I lost that courtesy there. You gotta give them. Yeah. Can you wash your hands before you touch them?

I can. I'm not gonna give them the band-in for that. You guys just felt bad for me. No. I was actually a great joke. You guys like me. And you went, oh. That's not the one.

I'm terrible with this. I just don't understand. Now, when it goes in, it grows pussy, right? That could hook it. That could get something, correct? No, it's still it's smooth. Yeah, but is it connected all the way through? Yeah, there's a ball through it. But there's an opening. Is there an opening? No, no, there's a it's smooth. Yeah, but is it connected all the way through it? Yeah, there's no there's a ball through it

But there's an opening is there an oh no, no, it's a there's there's a ball that goes in it I just don't have it in right now Did you lose it on the train? I have in my wallet Jack why why do you have it? Why do you have it you wall it because sometimes it gets a little too heavy when I'm wearing shorts because it's a big rain It's a two-gay drink. drink Jesus do they make a lighter metal? Yeah, they they make like smaller rings, but I've been stretching it over the last few years

Why? To have a bigger dick ring Oh, does it make a dick bigger or cuz that now I'm in no but now I have a giant thing on the end of my dick Oh nice They give me like an extra inch and I need it. I need it desperately. Do you not desperately have a nice piece? I saw it. It's not thank you. You're pushing all you push in that back.

But I actually use these bottom three fingers to make my balls look like more dick. Ah, smart. No. No, that is. I'm gross. I think I'll go through later. I think I'm gonna be.

I don't understand. Like when a girl sees that, do you have to tell them first, right? Most of the time I bring that up, as I did here, I bring it up pretty quickly. So you bring it up like I have a big fucking, can I tell you dude, you're absolutely right about that. Making girls when want to see your cock. And once you digs out, I mean, it's kind of game over once you digs out. I actually used to use, I told a girl, she was a big, big girl.

I was an acting class. How big? Okay, me right now? Right now, back then that was sexy, Bob. Me right now, probably two of me. So a big, big girl. Like obese. Did you fucking watch your tone?

You got a lot of fucking chubby dudes in here, okay? Not every big phone. Was it the thousand pound girl? No, no, no, no, no, she was big. Let's put it this way. When she- Did they forklift her into the class? No, no, we're at her apartment.

When she sat on the couch, she became the couch. She literally would just become part of the couch. And I remember we were doing the scene together. And I know she wanted to fuck around. And I was like, hey, I got a cock ring. She was like, no, you don't. And I was like, I got a cock ring. She's like, let me see it.

I'm like, you don't want to see it. And she's like, I want to see it. Just let me see it. I go, all right. And I pulled up my, it was just my deck though. I don't have. This is just out of stock in it. I was like, shit, I could have just done that.

This is all been for none. Oh, you need shiny shit. You should actually get a fucking weather vein on the end of that thing. What, sorry, what do you think the percentage of? Are you saving him? That was a bomb right there. I still have it.

I'm looking after you, Bob. Yeah, I just went right over it. No, we didn't. We superseded it. We don't have time. All right. I'm here for my dead. What do you think the percentage of when your dick is out that it gets sucked or fucked? Sucked at this point, I have to take the ring out because it's too big and girls will hurt themselves.

Interesting. Yeah, it comes right out though. Now it's just, it's all healed up, so there's no good. Yeah, I've had it for years and years. There's no guck though. No, not at all. Never any guck. No, it heals quick. It's it's The first few weeks after I had originally gotten it. I think I you're supposed to wait like a month or two to fuck and I fucked raw Two days after and it was like I put my dick in battery acid Sock oh my god,, was it open wound? Dude, that's fucking just, dude. I mean, you could have got really sick from that.

Yeah, it was terrible. But I was 17. I mean, I was a dummy. Have you ever banged a girl with a, like a clip ring? Yeah, and we clink them. It's cute. If you get caught or not. No.

No, all right. You did bang your girl with a clip ring. Of course. Is that your thing? How old are you? 28. 28. And what are you from? I'm from Jersey.

Jersey. I'm from E2. Are you interested in Cogrings? I guess that shit does work. That's fucking nuts, dude. Do you like fat guys with pier sticks and girlfriends that don't listen to the show? Why?

I'm sure of thing. Sure thing. I would never ever do anything to my dick ever ever to million sand would you ever you couldn't I got circumcised when I was 19 years old but beyond that know why it's time You get saying the moial home maybe tomorrow. We'll try it. Did you? I'm not ready. I'm not ready, let's do it. The girl turned you down and you're like, I have to do it now. No, well, I mean, I think you know this, Bob. I forget everything. I have a two-year-old.

I've been thinking, because I have a weird dick. It's a circumcised, yeah, I've got a bad dick. What do we have to stop? I don't understand what a bad dick is. I'll explain if you'll let me. Well, you're gonna skim over it. No, I wasn't. I'd got, it's got like a, it's I'm on circumcised right, I'm Greek, so, you know, just to keep

with my countrymen, they kept me on circumcised. And I've got like a turtle neck dick where the head will pop out just a little bit. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Yes. My, my foreskin didn't stretch, it was probably, it was probably very similar. Yeah, like nothing. So the head didn't come out of the foreskin didn't stretch out. It was probably, it was probably very similar. Yeah, like nothing. So the head didn't come out of the foreskin at all.

So the foreskin would just stretch with it when I got erect. You understand? So you dig with, yeah. You dig was meant to be bigger. And yeah, it was, it was stunted. You dig, it was like a Japanese woman's feet being bound. You dig, you dig, you dig, you dig.

My feet was bound. Yeah, binding. I like that. I'm gonna start tellingknotes was bound. Yeah, binding. I like that. I'm going to start telling girls that's what happened. Oh, yeah. And they said, you know, there was nothing, I mean, physically, there was obviously something wrong. But there was nothing like medically wrong,

but there could be. It's not necessarily the healthiest thing. So you pissed in your own dick. We just saw it like when you pissed, I don't know if this happens to you. But when I pissed back then Should I show you back now? Just for the first night show When I pissed back then like you'd piss and the foreskin will blow up like a balloon. No, no

That's okay. I don't know. I'll get you back it out now. I'm 50 I'm 50% I think that's why I don't want to get I'm so much of my identity as I'm uncircumcised so I don't want to get so much of my identity is I'm on circumcised so I don't want to I mean It's not a good identity. I think it's pretty good. Also. It looks like it's all shafts. It's an optical illusion There's head coming but there isn't right right right I think I do a dick is come there's a phantom head there that never comes yeah, I like that but I Don't know I don't want to get you have to shuffle it back and have it pop out. Sometimes it pops out, you know, depending on sound. Yeah, it goes. No, it'll pop out and that hurts, baby. Why? I don't know.

I have to clean it. The thing is too small because the opening in the force can is too small. Yeah, you've got to get circumcised. I don't want to. It's ridiculous. It's not your identity. And I can't fuck for like a while right if you get it But did you ever get like a spoon and have like pride out a spoon? Like how big you think you get a spoon in there, but I can't get my dick out of it How big you hold that your head doesn't come out now or then then it was time it was like that size of pretty much I mean it was slightly larger than like your your re-thra Like it was small. Oh my god in the foreskin So you like a balloon like a balloon and it will. Like it was small. Oh my God. In the foreskin. So you're like a balloon. Like a balloon.

And it will balloon out when you piss. Yeah. No. It's called Dr. Anand. I just said it's called Famosas, right? It's called, I'll tell you what it's called. It's called some Wiguramosas, right? It's disgustinous, right?

It's fucking exes. Okay, well look, we all have things that we go through. I like saying things to this. That's kind of it. But here's what I want to know. Zach, you might know, can I gauge my foreskin to make it like scratch out? You know how it's like, I feel like you'd be

a guy with weird ears. You can't, you know what I mean? They have a thing that you can, weights, you can hang through your dilly. You can actually, if you got circumcised, I don't wanna do that. They have this process that you hang weights from your dick, your skin, and it will actually bring your foreskin back.

So you could uncircumcise. I don't miss it. I don't miss it. Because they say some people think that you're not supposed to be circumcised, that's the way you're made, and it's for a reason, and we did that for vanity reasons or some shit. And it's religious. So, we, I, uh, do like you, now when you saw when you saw you better when you saw you dick was like did it have like a weird farmers tan uh...

it was a nice cream it was a different color when it came uh... no i mean i don't you know the shade for you to go new detaining so. So, but it was weird to see your helmet. It's very strange at first, and also it was very sensitive. It was very, very sensitive. It was sensitive? Yeah, I mean, it was very sensitive to the touch.

Really? Yeah, so, is it still? I mean, to some degree, but not to that. Are you flirting? I know you're hijacking. He's your guy, he wants a promotion. Yeah. But are you gonna fluff it for me? I mean there are exercises you could do though if you go you should go to a

urologist and their exercises it like you you're supposed to pull the foreskin like every day to try to stretch it and I'm like I'm not doing the exercises just cut the shit off just give rid of it you know what I mean they wanted you to do fucking exercise that's what I said I'm like I'm not doing the exercise. It's just cut the shit off. Just get rid of it. You know what I mean? They wanted you to do fucking exercise. That's what I said. I'm like I'm not doing all that. My guy just wanted me to get a chopped off

and I'm not for it. Can I say,, you say. I really have a fucking fat queen. Can I see some dicks? Hey guys in the couch, you just see it? No, get him a look, get him a turn around. Keep it out long ago. What the fuck?

But you say it's sensitive. It actually takes me like way longer to come. So I think if I got circumcised, I would come real quick. At first, but then you get used to it You think so you just got to do your kegel exercises then Strank is your save Regina. Yeah, yeah But you do what is yeah, do you do do do you do it right now? Yeah, yeah, really yeah

It's very easy I know and could do it Adrian does it with his asshole. I'm doing it with my asshole. You are. How do you do with your dick? When I try, it's the same muscle that you use to cut off your piss midstream. That's how you find it. Really?

Yeah. I'm doing it right now. My dick is like, pops out. I think everyone's trying. It strengthens your pelvic floor muscle. Really? How many do I do? How many do I do?

I have a weight that they sent to us. Four sets of ten. I'm serious. For and serious For my dick a Cockweight to do what strength in your pelvic floor muscle Adrian likes to do all the dick toys that they send Adrian likes to bring I'm home and trying yeah, what's the craziest dick toy of you? I mean not that crazy, but I got a flashlight that last week or week ago before that fucking worse thing Yeah, it's too much work. It's the world. I'll tell you why they haven't fucking they need to you know remember that movie where they sprayed dog shit and it went away. Yeah envy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they need to do that with jizz.

So because there's nothing worse than coming in a fucking and then do the work covered. The worst part is you jizz in this thing, right? And then you get to clean that flesh like you're gonna wash it. You have to dishwasher. I don't even like doing dishes. Never mind fucking a flesh of vagina. And you have to take it out of that thing. And it sounds like you're digging a real vagina out of a, like a woman just...

Yeah. And you fucking flop it and then... Yeah, it's too much work You gotta get it warm and then you gotta Loop yourself loop the flesh light fuck it Comin it clean it clean yourself. I like it I just like off in the shower. I like the cock ring That's good. What's that?

It's a vibrating you put it on your dead. I never use those and then yeah You put it on and then when like if you about to come you you just stop and the vibrator goes in the girls' clit. So she still get it all. That doesn't work. Well, you just don't want her. You're fucking going back. I'll tell you what, you're grouping. If you're ever in a jam, if you're ever in a jam

with a chick and you, you know, look, when I used to bang, I used to love, this is the best Adam and Eveery I'd ever heard my life. Oh yeah, when I used to love, you know, making a chick come, because I didn't have a fucking nine inch hair. What's that like? I don't know. Takes a while, but it's worth it.

I had a nice piece, but I didn't have a fucking big nine. So I used to like to get them so horned up and just eat their pussy and make them come, but if you're in a jam, electric toothbrush. Electric toothbrush. Electric toothbrush. And all you need is a fucking zip lock or some plastic over the top so you can use it again.

You don't want to waste it. Right? And you put that right on a clitoris, she'll lose her fucking mind. Lose her mind. Yeah, just like a vibrator. Fucking jizz, fucking all over the place. This is a woman, this is jizz.

Anything so good. Are you fucking a man? Is that a woman? No, women jizz, man. Women have jizz anything Fucking a man is that women jizz man women have jizz right? They square but it's no that it's pee. Yeah, women don't have calm. No, it's me. Yeah, no, no, no Spurm right? No, you know what? It is pee. I think it is pee. Yeah, so you got pissed on is what happened So what not my thing but so when you come what is? Nothing? I don't think it's anything, really. I think it's just juicing. That's not a joke.

That's not the AC. It's not the fucking actual egg. I'm from a... It's like fucking caviar. Yeah, just an egg yolk comes out. A fucking salmon running. You're asking for it. Yeah, dude, I used to love making this.

Nothing better. I used to think just getting a dick so I can meet how much great, there's nothing better than honing a girl up to the point where they have to suck your dick. Like they were just like, you know, you drew like a fucking gorilla. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm gonna come and hide. They just start spitting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just, just a nice smile would go over my face. I mean, there's nothing better than when you're the first guy that ever ate a girl's ass. And they're like, what are you doing?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What is this? I fucking love this. Not only are you just fucking fun to look at. I mean, hey, Jesus Christ, dude, I remember the girl, one of my first girlfriends, I got to stop. I forgot not that I'm popular at all, but I'm a little more popular than I remember the girl, one of my first girlfriends, I gotta stop. I forgot

Not that I'm popular at all, but I'm a little more popular than I used to be and things that I say now get back to people I'm that you know what I mean so I have to make sure I don't say people's names anymore because he's just saying names And then now I'm starting to get emailed dude you fucking said my chicks. We have a family All these fucking horrors I fuck. I grew up. Like, grandparent, you know, my grandchild told me you said, you fucked in my ass and I, I suck you dick right after.

I did ask him out. Yeah, I can't be fucked. I'm sure I get the comedy connection at her bachelor at party. This guy's finding out. Give it back to me. Give it to me. Oh, you fucking make it a caulk ring. But the, yeah, dude, I ate this girl's ass out. She was with, she was, I knew she never

did it. As she, most girls were just at that age, it was like 20 something or 19, whatever, the fuck, most girls at that age, just fuck, suck, titties. That's it. You make out, you rub and pussy, take a tittie out, then you take a dick out, then she sucks your dick, you're eatin' pussy, and then you fuck, then you do doggy style, and you duck. That's pretty standard. My move was, make out, get a tittie, eat some pussy,

and then eat that ass. Fuckin' eat that ass. Like a lot, I'll take a swipe, but you're gonna get... I'm like the guy on Fear Factor that eats the goat uterus and then, and then sticks his tongue out. What else you got? My move was I skipped door number one. And while I'm making out with the chick,

I'll go to grab her ass and have my middle finger graze the butthole. And if she goes, I don't like that, I'm sorry, that was an accident. But if she backs into it, completely skip door number one, just start figuring her ass. There's, oh my god, this is right to the ass. Well, I mean, you kind of, you don't want to stick your finger in and then smell it and then go, you got it. Because you won't go.

You will not go. Just bring a close pick. That's like, you don't smell it. Just go. That's an evidence, go. A fear of fights and then looking down. You don can do it over your nose. Have a fair, don't smell it. Just go. Have a fair fight and then looking down. You don't want to, fair fight. You go look down. You don't fuck, you go, you just go into that

and you lick the stink right off. You know, you smell your top lip on the subway right home. That's why I never grow mustache. But you, you go down on a chick's butt. That's why girls, if you ever see us, if we're looking at you and looking at your ass and then we lick your inner thigh, we're licking what ill cough. Trying to get it on your inner thigh

because you fuck it. Fucking waitress twat. Sometimes you have to lick the knee because it has more folds and you get it off worker. I just did a double shift at fucking Apple bees I'm looking that fucking Mexican stinker riblet stink off you pussy But yeah, dude. I used to love you. I remember eight her ass and I remember I was eating her pussy and then I ate her ass And I know I'm whispering but I like to do that

You get me I remember she went she oh god she was holding her at pussy open and then I remember she she moved her hand down like a spider You kind of just went like that to ask open it with I went she she fucking turned into just a fucking angry book just a mean bully. I hate that. I love that I love what it intimidates me. I can't do. I want a girl gets fucking you fucking you fucking bitch. No I'm too gentle. I can't I look I love gentle too, but I love fucking you mother-free dead ass I love turning her go. Oh my god. We shouldn't fucking eat I want to be gasping for air like a fucking fish on the bottom of both There's not because what why don't you do that to go once you get her a fucking

You know, then I don't feel guilty and then they just want I want yeah, give me I you have a girl go give me that dick I mean yes, yeah, right? It's like fucking now we're we're on the same fucking No, I'm just animal. We're so much pressure. We I love it. Because it's always the guy like Gonglinov. You know, we're so great. And they're like, I don't know. Oh, God, please stop. When you get a girl route up where she says, fuck it.

Let's say this, you need to give a girl an excuse. A good girl needs an excuse to be a bad girl. That's it. Your job is to give her the excuse that she needs to fucking. And when you eat a girl's ass, you give her the, I'm fucking, I'm already past the point, you eat my ass, now I'm sucking dick.

You gave her the excuse that she needed, so that, you know, I couldn't control myself. It was so, oh my God, I had no control. I didn't know what I was doing, so, right? But that scares guys sometimes. Yeah, it's like, what do you mean? It does, if you're too much, it will scare them. I've scared you guys sometimes. Yeah, it's like what do you mean? It does. If you're too much, it will scare them.

I've scared guys away. You've scared guys. Oh yeah. No, the first of all, you're dealing with fucking assholes. Yeah. That scares boys away. Yeah. I'm such a boy.

Yeah, what's my type? Well, you're trying to eat his ass and musical theater? No. I don't understand it. What do you mean, scared. I don't understand it. What do you mean? I don't know. I think they feel emasculated and it scares them sometimes.

Although that is kind of cool. Stick a competition. Yeah, you got to go over them. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I want to get the fuck out of here. I'm your bitch. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'll tell you this. I don't know how I'm going to get emasculated when I'm all four is going to eat my pussy You're crazy you're crazy that that's the greatest thing ever girls think that if you suck our dick so that we're gonna think you a horn No, you know, we're gonna love you. It's the best. Well, you you you I Look it you see the what's the problem when you meet somebody? Do you like me, do I like you? You're sitting there, a girl sitting there going,

I don't know if she likes me, and I'm sitting there going, I don't know if she likes me. If you suck my dick and listen, and I eat your pussy, we like each other. Pretty clear sign. It's a pretty clear sign. No, I'm not gonna say we're gonna get married. That's how I have that joke in my act.

I mean, if my wife, my wife suck my dick on a rock for an ice cream on our first date, if she didn't do that, I wouldn't have max. So sucking dick brought your family together. Dude, apps of fuck you. She was just impressed he gave up an ice cream. That was good, but that was sexy Bobby. I didn't need ice cream.

Wait, what were you doing? You holding the ice cream here and like, you're like, you're like, my dick. Yeah, no, yeah, I, yeah, you that was sexy Bobby. I didn't need to ask you. Wait, what were you doing? You holding the ice cream here and I'm like, you're like, you're like, my dick. Yeah, no, yeah, I, yeah, you get two scoops. Yeah, don't got hypnotized by a fucking soft serve. No, we, God, you fucking dumb. No, we, how are you two?

Will you, will you, will you, she following you to the beach? Well, the way the joke is, it's just a way four ice cream. So she had ice cream and she was like, I have have to suck it. Yeah, I was really liked ice cream We went we went and had an ice cream. I didn't take it to dinner or a movie We just had an ice cream and she blew me so you get it. It's a good day Yeah, so she suck my dick for an ice cream. I basically just gave her an ice cream and she blew me It wasn't like I gave a flowers sprinkles to cover up the flame I want to make sure you get the joke so you can better your shitty stand.

I think go both thought you held the ice cream in front of your dick and then when she went for it you're like, ah that's really trickering. This is a warm ice cream. Flash pop. No, this flavor. Why does your ice cream smell like a foot? Yeah, dude. So I think it's the exact opposite.

Now do you have rules on when you go with a guy? I know you're married now. No, I know back in the day You're gonna get your dates right Last week I said what wait a second I would do it whatever really yeah take me to 7-Eleven by me burrito. I don't care I don't want to get blown by a chicken burrito breath. Why? I think to smell like fucking nachos.

I don't know about asshole eating after 7-11 Burrito. Oh, yes, wow. Can you imagine that? Look, it just goes right through, you smell beer and cheese. That's fucking right. Why do we stop at white castles? So you just, no rules, just fuck it. rules? Yeah, that's the real yeah, yeah, great. Why is she married? I agree with you if she was just single talking

Yeah, I fucking do you walk in during the wrong part of the show? Oh my God. How awful would have been if they had both come up while my dick was out? I am exactly the comedian. I was just that, as he looks and has he goes, you want a Friday show? I was up at JFL 42 up in Toronto, which I was a little apprehensive about because it was a little weird going into it But it was fucking a great festival. I was a weird. I just didn't get like JFL

You know the Montreal JFL. I've been done a million times. I've done the tour. This one was a little weird. It's a little more independent Ish, you know everybody does an hour And then there's the big headliners and then whatever and then there's all these hour shows. So it's not like JFL regular Montreal you do you're doing gala's which is like eight-minute sets on TV or you're doing a 15-minute nasty show or relationship show you don't really do hours it's just you're on these showcases but this everybody there there's 42 comics that do an hour.

So we're all over the city. So you're at the comedy bar, which one of my favorite rooms in the world, the Ravolis, which is great, because when kids in the hall started, and then the Southern place. But anyways, it was awesome, but a lot of, you know, Verzy was up there, which I fucking love.zi's the best if you have a common common enemy With Verzi there's not there's nobody better to go. What do you think about this guy? He goes off All's he needs you to go. It's fucking I don't like a me fucking man either fucking come so great and then Are you doing your voice a little more high-pitched? Yeah, pitch. Yeah. I'm in the comedy bar.

We're all back there. Me, Rob May, who killed it all week, too. I love that, kid. He actually, in the back room, we put on this fucking tails, like Steve Perry from Journey used to wear. You know, like a short jagger with the tails, with sparkles on the shoulder, and fucking tassels on the sleeve.

And we all were like, you don't have the balls to wear that on stage. And we bullied him into wearing that. And we were just kidding. I would have never done it. I would have been like, fucking suck my dick. I'm not falling for your horses. He fell for a word for a nice 15-minute set. It looked like a fucking just an asshole magician on the side.

But so we're on the back, Rob, bunch bunch of comics, Rob's girlfriend who is the nicest girl ever. Smokein' hot. Smokein' hot, nicest girl ever. She's just sittin' right by the door as you walk in. Ari comes in with his fuckin' dick out. Literally fuckin' cock high right next to her cheek, kinda walks by. And then he sees her, goes, oh shit, sorry. Fucking greatest thing ever. I had a fuckin, kind of walks by. And then he sees her, he goes, oh shit, sorry. Hey, you're gonna do that.

Fucking greatest thing ever. I had a fucking blast up there though. What a cool festival, great time. And we did my podcast up there. We did the live YKWD, Brian Poussain, Al Magical, Rob Mayu and Arthur Simeon. And I didn't know, it was fucking great, unbelievable, fucking great show. What about what happened on Twitter?

Trendy the the the hashtag you know what did was that just coincidence or was that That was that was it do we we trended trended That was crazy. You don't believe in the show deput What mistake happened were this show not attention from people happen where this show had a tension from people. I, uh, it was, uh, I'll tell you what it is. It was an, I'm not going to fucking lie. It wasn't that we were trending. They posted a picture of my tits and then they said,

I can't gauge your boobs. I don't know if they're real or they're, oh, they're so real. Yeah, but I wish they were fake, but I don't know if they're big or small. They vary. Hang on. Something at times they're small I know I feel like if I see them one time, I'm gonna be like this And then, and then another time

Wow, good joke This is the morning Zoo, Robert Kelly Also listen to Ryan Casu, we bring you free entertainment every week Right back, Angela Also Bob, who are you? Oh listen to Ryan Casu we bring you free entertainment every week all right back Angela Also about who you mean some Dan who are you kidding that any situation where you saw our tits you would be mad I would be because if I apps a fucking little if I think a girl's tits a one way and then there another it fucking Groove bugs me. I'll take titties

The nipples goes in they're not the hard. Yeah, those are worse. No, I like it nice. I knew I was really in the vertinipples. It was gross. You what? I knew a girl with inverted nipples. It was disgusting. How old did you look at them?

A couple of times a week. I love the girl. I want with a girl one time. She had her nipples run inch long. I don't like that. I'll take them inverted. I like that. Dude, I didn't like it. It's just licked your lips. That's what I like. That's the Guinness World Records long. I don't like that. I'll take him to the bird it dude I didn't like it. It's just like your lips. So like

It is well record long buddy shit like like this like that. Yeah, no Dude, I freaked out. I'm not kidding. Listen. I freaked out I took her loses a long time ago. I have to date these things to the married a long time ago My uncle's just built this house up in the hamster. I took her up there, just me and her. I remember when she took her shirt off, I literally, whoa, I fucking was scared. And she goes, I know, I was gonna tell you, I just done this way before, man.

I mean, huge, man, like light switches. Like a light switch. Did you just have start playing with them? You could bend them. I love that. I thought I was a little grossed out at first, but then I was just, it just, I, all of a sudden I was just like, fuck, and then I put one in my mouth, it was like a little

baby dick. So just chew on it. That's what you go for, baby dick. No, hot, it was like a child's penis in my mouth. Well, was that a bum? And then you got one trouble. Just, it was too much baby dick. Yeah, got a couple. Like I'm the asshole, you better not.

But I did one, we got a little chuggle, then you should maybe take three more time. You made it real. Yeah, then it was just baby dick. Fuck off, dear pants, that was. It was, I love big nipples, I love it. But I just don't like when a chicken, let's take a chick when she takes the titties out.

You ever see like after kid Titti? No, thank God. I don't mind if it's an after kid Ditty, if you tell me that look, my titties are a little saggy or I had a kid, I don't mind that. But if I'm visualized, it's like, hey, I'm drinking milk,

fuck, it's orange juice. That thing, we're just mentally like, fuck. Now I'm visualized, it's like, hey, I'm drinking milk. Oh, fuck, it's orange juice. That thing, we're just mentally like, fuck. Now, I'm not having anything. Like, when all the titties at the bottom, and then it's just like a sock with a water balloon in it, I don't mind that if you tell me, if I can fucking psychologically be ready for an awful titty.

I think- I'd be like a teardrop, titty. I love a teardrop, titty. I'll take teardrop, that's nice. I'll take a teardrop. What kind of titty do you like there, Eric? Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. I like the teardrop, titty love it's your job that's nice I'll take it here what kind of titty do you like there Eric I like the tear drop to be that's it why did you say like a serial killer I like I like to cut them out daddy what do you do that's a lot of I'm a freelance writer really Really? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Does that it? That's about it. I also gamble on baseball games That's what I do for a career. Well, you know, draft king come around the summer. I'd draft give you the cold word Kelly.

Um, really, you gamble. Yeah, yeah. Baseball's tough though. I Every night is different with the pitchers. Well, I gamble on I don't really know that much about baseball. I just bet bet the endings Whether people will there are team will score in an inning or not. Hmm. Give us a kind of formula or something figured out Not really Do you make any money but I don't try to figure it out. I just ride with like, if I'm being lucky or not. Uh-huh. That seems like how you lose a lot of money.

I feel like I'm in a Bill Murray movie. So back to my tits. Yes, for me. Are those your boobs right there? Yes, they're my boobs. Okay, great. What about you, Eric? Those are his boobs, too.

I'm actually a crime analyst. Oh, wow. What about you, Eric? Those are his boobs, too. I'm actually a crime analyst. Oh, so, I can advocate. It's Chris. I'm Chris, by the way. I know, I just said, I know, that's what I do, dude. Don't fuck up what I say. You need to know, you fuck that up. I do that, I call him fucking Eric, too.

I know his name was Danny. Your thing is calling people by the wrong name. That's my thing. What's his name? His name's Michael. Michael, the guy he owns, he has his own brand new bike line. He's doing custom bikes in Brooklyn. I do what do you do? I'm a crime analyst. What the fuck is that? Like CSI? Kind of basically we do spatial and temporal analysis on crime data. So basically we make maps

in charts and graphs and stuff like that. So were there no crimes last night? Why the fuck are you here right now? I have to go vacation day, you know? Yeah, they never show that like CSI like you know, they mean those shows that they ever get like Sundays Sundays and Sundays off and then you watch like the 48th and what is that show? 48 the first 48 and those guys like go home. Hey, what's up, honey? And they have like still a kid like a still missing out there. So we're kind of a basement. It's like the barbecue and because it's their kids birthday in the

CSI, they never fucking eat. And they never nap. They never sleep. Nothing. It's just crime all the time till they solve it. You fucking take some time off. Good for you. Yeah. Have you ever solved the crime? I've assisted. Yeah. In that pattern recognition and stuff like that, so we can forecast crime trends and things like that. What do the fuck is that mean? Well, it's based on patterns.

So if we get a crime, that's like burglaries or something like that and then they're working in a pattern, you can kind of calculate out by these hours and things like that yeah so you get an idea where they're gonna be what time things like that and that's what works yeah we're getting better at it what's that what is that no I was gonna say you probably don't give all your strategies away no it's all right yeah it's not gonna fucking it's criminals they're not gonna listen to this show a lot of criminals like this show as they're robbing houses They're listening to this laughing

Let me pick this lock What's the chat room saying buddy? Gavin says book the Boston guy who freaked out over the baby wheel. I don't know what that means. Is that a story? No, it's a sunfish Who got you that I did this nice. It's so everybody, it's a sunfish. Who got you that? I did this. Oh nice. It's so everybody hates it. It's bad, yeah.

It's terrible, but I love it. It's so terrible. Get it? It's good, it's a stick. It's it. What else got? He also says, Chris is a crime analyst who shops at Spencer's.

Apparently. It's pretty good. Yeah, too shabby. Apparently they don't get paid a lot of them. What else you get? He's got big fucking mitts though. Look at his hands. The other hand.

One hand small than the other. What the fuck is wrong with that? No guys. Monique Owen says, you were awesome at JFL, Bonnie. I got to talk about these three brats. Yeah? Monique, one of them? Monique is one of them.

Oh, man. Look, man, we always, I know we have a lot of hand bones that listen to the show we had I'm up at JFL. I'm doing a show unbelievable show up there at Revolis, right? Like I said before Every show was sold out of mine by the way every show is packed to the gills, which was awesome So thank you for coming these three girls. I'll come out these three hot chicks, you know, are out front, you know, and then not like model hot, they're like fucking,

you know what I like, that regular girl, like you know, like Lauren hot, you know what I mean? Like regular girl hot, like, you know, you just meet her at a fucking supermarket, a Starbucks and then, you know, eat ass in the fucking back of a Dunkin' Donuts. Oh my God. So, these three, then you know, you'd eat a ass in the fucking back of a Dunkin' Donut. So these three girls are up front, they come up, they're a huge fan to the show. Now girls say that blah blah. These girls knew all you fucks knows everything that goes on. They love like, of course they don't want to fuck me,

they want nothing to do with me, they they love dance soda and Joe list. They're in love with Joe list small mouth Joe got engaged Throwing out there for the fans No, could have waited. That's a huge thing now In the middle of a building. It was whole fucking topic about these girls. And you'll say your time, you know, fucking comic or radio timing, you just think something. I'm happy for my friend Joe.

Buddy, I'm happy to. I got the show. It's on my head. I'm going to announce it. But you could have went at the end of it when we're trailing and then, oh, Joe, go again. We moved the fuck up. In the middle of this, you go,

Joe got engaged. You have no filter in your brain. No. You don't, you just have nice hair and a fat ass. End lips. You can't let that slip still. And you let that mold remove. So that's good.

And you start out, which I like. Joe got engaged. I don't know. Ah. Joe, that's the worst. It is pretty epic, man. Joe list of, and this is actually, you know what I apologize. This is going to fold in really nicely, because I know what the fuck I'm doing.

I'm a broadcaster, like my friend, Sambo. Sam never does anything like that. Because you're not a moron. He's kind of a moron. He is kind of a moron. I'm probably not an Adrian. He's a moron. He's a bit of a moron.

He's a funerian. I'll trade you Adrian for scope right now. No, no, no. No, I would never do that. We're throwing caskets at our Asians. You're throwing one? Cash. You know, I'm not, I'm not gonna,

you see, I'm not gonna do that. I'm throwing an espresso machine. Yeah, we have a coffee machine there. I'll throw it. I'll throw it and the espresso is fucking way better. I mean, I even express I make a like it just bring in. I'll go to Starbucks. Yeah, that sounds serious. Actually, you'll go to Starbucks. Yeah, I'll send somebody to Starwood. I'll send an intern. All right, you know what Adrian You're done on the show. I'm done with you. You know what, I don't like your attitude and I don't like the way you're talking to me. We used to be friends and I gave you your start and you used to like you a lot. You're back on the show. You're back in.

Alright, listen, these three bras are there. Unfuckin' blue. Of course they want to bang, you know, they're like talking like, oh, it's cute, Joe, is and talking about your fat ass, which bugs me Anything about me anything about me? No, nothing But she's there if she liked you, but the three girls were I mean first of all they were really you know They each one of them had their own little thing that I kind of liked and I took them off of pizza Nice, what are you laughing at? It's just the way you said that. Oh There's no thought behind it.

It's fucking hard to show. I've never done it. Keep fucking adding your part of the conversation to it. Um, we went out. I took them all off of pizza and uh... Yeah, pizza. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm fucking love that. Yeah, but in the old day, I would at least try it. I would have tried, so I would have let's take the rejection. And fucking, I just was like, all right, girls, gotta go. Nothing, but they want nothing to do with me.

How do you know, though? Because I know. You do. Yeah, the way they hug me, goodbye. But you could fuck if you want to you're a nice you're married man You have a nice family that I've seen I remember in Boston Somehow you were ordering everything on the man you're ordering six things and somehow still a waitress And you're just like just nacho cheese on your gullet and still I could tell a waitress would have fucked you if you tried

You've got a nice little charm about you, Bob. Why don't you tap me on the shoulder and let me know that when it's happening. I will, for sure. I will not do that because you're married. We're on video, dummy. They can see you winking. Oh, sorry. I mean, of course I wouldn't do anything. No, of course I wouldn't do anything. But it just feels good to be wanted.

How do you know? Huh? How do you know? Because I remember back in the day, I used to fucking be wanted. You know what I mean? My wife wanted me at one point, you know what I mean? It would have been nice that the girls were like,

hey, listen, before we talk about these other guys on your show like Dan and Joe and Scopo and Mark and fucking Phil Hanley. And I mean, little everybody, the huge fans of the show, we would fuck you first, but we love your family and we respect that. That's what you want to hear. I don't know, hey man, you don't cheat, right? I'd be like, why?

And they'd be like, because we really want to suck your dick and just go back to your hotel room and just fucking orgy it out with your fucking dude dick. Right. And you're like, well, no, I don't, but it's good to know. And then I'd be like, no, I don't. And they'd be like, oh, cool, but we would have. But we wanted you to know now let's talk about Joe Lists small mouth. Right. We'll stop having all these young male cutie pies on the show all the time. How do I stop? That's all that I got around me.

You fucking did today. Hey, how dare you? I'm adorable. Yeah, it got around me you fucking did today hey how dare you I'm adorable Yeah, you are it bugs me that you are fat adorable. Thank you It's my thing you you and Zach should do a show together that is not is we would if we hit the quote of our fat guys and dumb glasses and dumb t-shirts What we're pretty you guys you be a great I was I was gonna I was gonna wear a cat t-shirt too, I'm glad I didn't. I could just got a hot dog. We know our audience. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Oh, looks like a- Monique says- I'm just not forwarding this anymore. I'm letting you fucking try all of you guys. Like Sam, we go back and forth. Exactly. I try to build on what you're doing Bob. You're tired too, Bob.

What do you think I should be Bob? I work nights now. Do you want a coffee? No, I'm fine under in coffee. What should I show, B. Bob? What's up? What was I going to say? Monique said she would be.

I sure had that. Stop, shush, what? She just chimed in. She said she would fuck you. Oh, what about me? Oh, all right. She said something about how you saved her life from moving traffic.

Was anything? Oh, this girl. She's a beautiful Dominican girl. Big titties, right? What about me? Glasses. She had glasses. I like it.

I like everything you're saying. And so we'll walk into the curb. Two girls are on my left. She's on my right. All of a sudden this girl didn't, she just walked off the curb. She didn't see it. Like walk, I mean, walk, like she was walking like into heaven.

She just stepped off the curb, like there was more sidewalk and there wasn't a chief elder or fucking need. And it just, in the fucking, in the gutter, just laughing. She was learning nylon was ripped, just laughing to herself, because what else are you gonna do, right? And the car's coming. I mean, I'm not kidding.

There's fucking headlights coming. She's just cracking up at herself. These two other friends are just talking about whatever the fuck they're talking. This girl, I don't know, is about to fucking be run over. At least lose a foot. And I started grabbing her, but she was, you know, I couldn't pick her up.

Have he? Is what you're saying? No, she wasn't. She's a bigger girl. I'm saying I'm weak. Fuck all. I didn didn't say thick she's just a curvaceous woman she's a did say Dominicans yeah yeah she's she's voluptuous is what you're love you she was hot right right right she was a voluptuous and I couldn't you know and I have a bad back and you know, I picked her up.

But yeah, well, I should have got something. I should have, you know what I mean? Save your life. No, we didn't. We like that. But does that make you feel better that she said that she would have fucked her? No, because she threw that thing at the end.

If she said, if it was just- She was, she wouldn't have. It's really. Yeah, what's that? I think she would have. I really think you're underestimating yourself here, Bob. Well, I don't even know how to get to the to the point, because I can't go to the next rejection.

If I could go to the Red Light Green Light stage, you know, we throw out something to a girl and you're either going to get a red light or a green light, I would know, but I can't go to that stage because that's fucking cheating. So I have to, you know, hey guys, nice pizza, you know, and see you later. But if I could be like, hey, who wants to suck this dick? Well, you can't. Yeah, well, if she was like, we're not, we can't. But if I could just say that and be like, hey,

let's go back to my room, you guys can all suck my dick. Like, under the cover, we'll make it 10. And you guys, I don't, my head will just be out. You guys suck my dick, like it's not happening. Right. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you guys are camping and my dick is the pole. And you guys just suck it.

Yeah. And I'm outside, now I'll be with you on the bear. Right. You go, no, my god. Right, it's a very specific fantasy. I didn't think I'd joke off to that. And then, you know, that would be good. And they'd be like, oh, we can't do that. We don't want to do.

We love you. But if they were like, let's go. Then I'd at least know and have to fight. I can't do that. You actually could just jokingly say, let's fuck. And then she went out. I'm just here to slice, but what'd you fuck me?

I was doing that, I was doing the piece. See what they said. I'm married, what'd you fuck me? That's what you guys doing, Queens? Hey, here's a slice of pizza. It's grandma, what'd you fuck me? My name is Chris Cobo. It works.

And why have you ever pulled that off? No, I've never done that. No, I used to go to a girl. I used to say girls, what would you do if I kissed you right now? And then they would go, oh my god. And then they would go, and then they would go, and then they would go, we'll find out. And then I would do it.

And it would work. That is terrible. No. I prefer pulling your pierced dick out to that. Yeah, it was your really your line. What are you prince? You two Did it like this too though? What did she want like this what?

Speak as he said it's soft. Then it's a joke. I engaged Deep food DEEP OOOD! HUMMER DEEP! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD!

HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! HUMMER DEEP ON THE BORD! Sam when you met your wife how long you been with your wife? Ten years how long you been married three. How's it going amazing? Wow you're right you guys do have a great back and forth This is assuming there are no follow up questions. I'm in a constant state of marital bliss There is some follow

No, I'm serious. That's fine. I'm telling you me my wife had some hard times. Yeah, you know, she's just having a kid or whatever There's so much stress going into it. It means fucking hard. You know, you haven't had one hard spot yet No tons of hard spots like now What's going on? What's what's what's hard about it, dude? We just we fight a lot. Why do you fight? I'm not gonna? Is it you or her? Who do you think it is? Who do I think it is her? Hey, it's not gonna say him right. Thank you, Chris Copo. He understands Why would you say it's him though? You don't want him to understand you

If no, it's just scubbles on your side. You're on the wrong side. Have you asked her what you would do if you kissed her right? on your side, you're on the wrong side. Have you asked her what she would do if you kissed her right there? That's my strategy. Is she screaming at you? What would you do if I kissed you? What? I said, what would you do if I kissed you?

Who would you do if I kissed you? No, it's it. Who's you trucking at? Who would you do if I kissed you? I can't hear you fucking asshole. Who's you? I can't hear you. Stop in my ear, you fucking idiot.

What are you saying? Sam, I'm up. Stop breathing on me. No, it's not me. We're just trying to figure out when kids works for both of us. Having a kid? Yeah.

You're thinking about having a kid. I'm not. That would be the problem. And also now they're doing the night shift. I'm gone all the time. So it's like we're trying to figure out how that works. What about you? Cause she works during the day. Yeah. What does she do again? She works in film.

In film. But it's like it's a nine to five, nine to six. Nine to five jobs. So she comes home when you're going in. Are you don't even see each other? I'm right. So you don't see each other five days a week. Well, I mean, you know, she'll wake up when I go to bed

or whatever, but that's it. That's the problem right there, dude. You think so? Yeah, because you you you're not looking me and my chick Just want to this sounds fucking gay shit, but We we started date night. I have date night tonight. That's what we're doing the podcast at two Well, fuck you laughing at Michael. Yeah, I don't want to do that. No, okay. You gotta do date night Yeah, it's scared. Well, it's nothing like day night. I don't have to do that. No, okay. You got to do date night. Yeah, you got scared. Well, it's nothing like day nine. It doesn't have to be corny. Huh?

It doesn't have to be corny. But it's like if you have a... We see each other, like we go out on the weekend, we go to a movie, we do whatever. Like we still spend time together. But if there's like a, this is the date night that you have to go on a date this night. I'm like, I don't want to do that. That's not why I'm here. Yeah. You know what I mean? At my show? Too much pressure. It's too much pressure. It's not a assignment. I don't want to do that. That's not why I'm here. Yeah. You know what I mean? At my show? Too much pressure. It's too much pressure. It's not assignment.

I don't need assignment. And then you feel like you have to have sex. But here's the deal. Exactly. What was that? Let's go, Bo walked into me. Fucking ass is like a tank. The whole convoy.

I know the reason why, like me and my wife, when you, I'm talking about when you have a kid We don't see each other like I go to work. She goes she's with the kid is just I'm away and we weren't we were just I'd be home and we just be home all the time. We forgot how to be a couple Yeah, we forgot how we don't have kids though. Yeah, but what I'm saying is when you have kids right? I mean, I don know I'm trying to get out of this. Okay, just allow me away. Right out of my shitty advice. Okay, because they don't have kids. There's no reason. That's what I'm saying. It doesn't apply to me. Let's just say. Yeah, let's just move on. You're advised. I heard Joe got engaged.

Shut up. No, he doesn't. Yeah, dude, you, uh, so, so you're just fighting right now. Yeah. Is it just a weekends? Are you happy at all? Do you have fight night? Yeah, we have a fight night. That's what we suggest.

We get our feelings out. And we fight with each other, doesn't it? I mean sometimes we still have a good time. But when we don't have a good time, we're fighting. So she wants a kid. She does. But it doesn't make any sense right now. You don't want a kid time, but when we don't have a good time, we're fighting. So she wants a kid. She does. But it doesn't make any sense right now. You don't want a kid.

How old are you? 32. You should never kid right now. That's what I'm saying, right? I'll tell you what you do, because you're married to your fucking work, as you should be. You are married right now to your job. And you are married to your job before you were married to her. We said this on the show before.

Yes. So your first woman is your career. Right. And you're trying to get that going, which is a slow grind. But you, I mean, I'm doing pretty well. But now, let me finish. Oh.

Now you're almost there. Almost, right? Yeah, I mean, you went closer. You went from a fucking intern to a producer to having your own show. the Fnet once a day, or once a week to having your own show once a day. Now at night, you have your own time slot, which is pretty fucking amazing in this day and age in radio.

Now you're trying to make that bigger and get it to where you needed it. And that's gonna take around five to 10 years to get where you wanna be. It's gonna take a while to get there. It you need it. And that's gonna take around five to 10 years to get where you wanna be. It's gonna take a while to get there. It just takes time. Yeah, it takes time, anything takes time. Right, because you have to be very, very good at it.

And you don't get good at it until you do time. She's panicking, because she's seeing everybody with kids. Of course, but that I'm trying to tell her that all her, all her, yeah, she's on Facebook. That's Facebook. All her friends that have kids, though they're working these fucking mundane jobs, they have nothing going on.

So of course you gotta have a kid because your life is boring, you know? It's hard, it's hard, you know, it's hard because you think you're missing out. But you're over here going fuck, if I do this, I'm gonna fuck my career out. Exactly. I'm not gonna be able to come home.

I don't have enough money, you know, and whatever she makes at a job, but she's gonna have to start using that to pay a nanny. Right. Yeah, because I would not home. Yeah. It's not the time. It's not the time. Bobbi, you and I are logical thinkers. That's what makes us so great. But I knew when, even when the time came, I was still scared. You are. Yeah, a little bit. Man, I knew it was coming, but then there was a point one that I remember asked I go you want a kid she goes all up until she was like I don't know 38 whatever the fuck she was she was like no I don't want kids at all right we were both

like fuck kids parents we said when you went to a rubin once or twice a year we'd see parents at the airport and we used to go fuck them they just look wet you know what I mean? They just all carrying. She's like, that's the bad part. Like that's where I'm at now. Like you believe the fuck them, right? And she's like, no, they look like they're having a great time.

I wish I, I'm like, oh shit. You know, I shouldn't have even brought it up. I actually, I was a one of kids. She was like, I think I might. I was like, oh fuck. But you should have asked. But then there was, I was ready. I don't know what to do.

You wanted it. Right when I hit 39, 40, I was like, I'm ready. I'm done right when I hit 39 40 I was like I'm ready I'm done because I knew it would take me to the next level of life and in our business to let go of the fear That you think that you know, it's gonna somehow take away It doesn't it actually it makes you a hard-to-worker makes things better because you have to right you know But you that that's only in a certain time. You know, I could see getting there in years. Yeah, years years down the road.

I'd love to see a little hairy Sam. You would? I wouldn't be you know, I wouldn't let you around him because when I was younger, you had an affinity for me. So I wouldn't want you to sound weird. No, I mean, it was fucking weird. No, it wasn't weird. It was it was it was sound weird because it was weird

Was it weird that I had that for you or you actually played into it? Okay, I was trying to get ahead in the business I was lied to what do you pee as a doora? That was a great reference fuck you. I will not take it if anybody fuck off anybody My age would have left the fuck out of that if Colin Quinn was here He would have fucking been on the ground dying, all right? I can't help it. You can't don't know. He is a door He might be doing that wherever he is right now Okay, I have already that's just was sad

What did Bobby have for you what is it like it was in a crush on me? Yeah sexual crush on me The hair was it the hair was the hair not this fucking Larry from three stooge Yeah, back then he was a little fucking twink. Yeah, I might in my early to mid 20s Bobby Well, you wanted to be intimate with me physically For himself. I want to force myself Those are videos of him with Paul. He tied his shirt into a knot. I'm saying me happy birthday like Mount him and roll. Yes, I did.

And then sat on my lap. I sat on, yeah. And then remember that I, wow. Did he get hard? At one point I sat on his lap. At his request with my shirt off and he applied lotion to my back. Because, but we just like, with my shirt off and he'll find lotion to my back. This is a joke. And I was like, okay, I'll do it as a joke, like if it's just funny, as a goo, as Bobby's gay face.

Yeah, I was young and naive. What do you mean was? Yeah, face. Face implies it stopped. I think the show is mostly guys. Yeah, I like looking at you hot twigs. So they take you to the show. I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more Yeah, face face face and place it stopped. I think the show is mostly guys Take you take a take you dig a cup

Your cup what are you he's a bear? I guess I'm a bear what he's abused Would you be just a He's a pretty bear. I'm not that hairy though. Yeah, I'm not a hairy man. He's a last resort I'm a sloppy party bottom Fuck pig I believe I'm believe what pig. Oh shit. I believe what was the chat saying, buddy? What are we got in there?

Someone says that Sammy and his wife are the new Lewis and B because of all the fighting. We got Lewis and B. Sheed on your wife all the time. No. Fuck him, he's in Mexico. Yeah. I want Zach. I want Zach. Mexico. I want Zach.

I think I want Zach. He's gonna text me in five seconds. I want Zach. I want fucking Zach. Jesus Christ. Holy shit, Mike. Zach, what the fuck? We can't move that.

That text is coming. Yeah, he's on his way to Mexico. Dude, don't fucking turn on me. You're a go-mike. I fucking made you I'm making you a go-mike. You just unmade him Apparently I'll take that Unmade his marriage Did you try to resell it Fix it You just try to resell it? Well, fix it. It's a clockset that fucking re-gifted a shitty joke.

Indian gave it. What do you? Wow. Oh, fuck it. She used it on a roll. We should give you that blanket there, so they're going. Hey, what do you got? George Coleman says Sam should be out foraging for berries

and clubbing women. You're making cavemen? Oh, because I look like a caveman. Leave a guy go cavemen. Yeah. That's a my forehead portrait slightly. And I have a very pronounced bow, because I look like a caveman. Leave a guy go caveman. Yeah. Yeah. That's a my my forehead portrait slightly and I've got very pronounced. What do you got? You got anything in Bobby's hat? That's good. Um, latest comment is did they comment on cake stump?

What's cake stump? It's all these videos. It's reddit is obsessed with the guy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, remember. Yeah. Yeah. So you remember to go right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a long time ago. It's when we were doing the walkover from K rock to action. How many years is that? Yeah, probably eight remember to go right yeah, yeah It was a long time ago when we were doing the walkover from K rock to action how many years is that? Yeah, probably eight years and so yeah, we stopped homeless men's cake and then gave him money You know, it's money. I don't know all bunch of it. It's through a bunch of cash. I don't know how much it was more than the cake was worth

Yeah, definitely enough to buy a new cake. What if the cake was made by a famous baker? What's pretty good. Like a cake boss. Like a little javon. Yeah, a cake boss. Yeah, a cake boss. Yeah, a cake boss. Yeah, a cake boss. Fondix, fire fighters on it.

Yeah, so. Let me find out if the cake was in September 11th. Yeah, I checked it out. It was a tower. Oh, if someone picked that up, they're just stepping on the towers. He kicked over the one tower and then nine minutes later. They put that music on the table. But every Christmas Italian is saving people around the cake. Every year or two people get obsessed with the video again and so they end up on Reddit and people go like this is terrible and the problem is the

title of it. What's the title? It's like it goes white man with a million. This is what it is every time. Millionaire shock shock is what he's described as and there is no sympathy that a man that anyone can have for a man named millionaire shock shock. So and then they go oh look at what you did to this homeless guy and then everybody goes he's a terrible person and then they go, oh, look at what you did to this homeless guy, and then everybody goes, he's a terrible person, and then, oh, he goes, well, we gave him a bunch of money, and then it dies down. Generally, that's the cycle.

Right. So, we're in the middle of that cycle right now, where he's going, we gave him a bunch of money, and then we're probably like, what tomorrow's Friday, so by Monday, we'll be in the die-down phase, I think. This comes out money, though, so what if this re-enites it? What if this is the fucking thing that just lights sparking it on Monday? And then what if Ellen listened to the show secretly?

And then on Monday, she has that clip. This is a zero percent chance of that happening, I think. But what if she finds that guy and then brings him in on the show, shows the clip, everybody cries, and then she gives him a cake from the cake boss and a car and a career Right, yeah, then he wasted all like the homeless voice over Yeah, that was awesome. What did he do? He just like we're back. He's gone. Yeah, I haven't heard him He was homeless in three weeks again He's a job, right?

I'm a jet fan from last What the fuck really golden ten Williams. He got a job with craft Yeah, he's doing the macaroni and she's boys, too Cleveland Cavalier's gonna make him a announcer. He spent all the money on buying his daughters that he never paid attention to like Prada bags and stuff. I bought you a Louis Vuitton and then like Prada bags and stuff. I bought you a Louis Vuitton. And then, I didn't realize. I had a hotel because he was drunk.

Yeah, he realized he was a degenerate. So I think like a year later, they did a follow-up. And I think he was sleeping in a car and doing a weekly radio show at like a local, tiny affiliate place. So he's just a regular radio guy now. Yeah. Exactly. So he's a a regular radio guy now. So he's a pretty successful radio guy.

It's still better than being homeless. He's got a car. It's fucking sad what happened at radio. Oh it's terrible. Radio guys were, I mean rock stars. Yeah. Rock stars in the fucking 80s, 90s. Yeah. And now it's just fuck man. They don't, what? You're saying that from the technology that makes them not have a job anymore? Podcasts. Yeah. And now it's just fuck, man. They don't... What? You're saying that from the technology that makes them not have a job anymore? Podcasts. Yeah, I don't think this is it. I don't think so, you really have.

I really don't think. No. Podcasting came from the inability of... To make people to do well on radio. I think this is the actual savior of that. They can go if they want and if they are good. I mean, Stern says it opposite how it turns like podcasting's horseshit, you'll never,

if you wanna be a real broadcaster, go to radio, I mean, I get what he's saying. It's incorrect. That's just kinda being out of touch, I think. Well, what he's saying is, look, you wanna be a radio guy, go do radio in shit places, make no money for years. But that's not the way the business works.

That's an outdated model. But build up a fucking do something original where people will start listening. You can't. A cow head doesn't. Yeah, but cow head was doing in the 90s. I mean, cow has been doing it forever. Yeah, I don't think that model exists really.

And where you have, I feel like you have to do a podcast, right? Well, there's a, I mean, and that's the other thing. There's like are young people listening to radio as much or you can go on YouTube and become a celebrity? You can do a podcast. You can, there's so many different avenues for you to gain exposure. The idea that you're gonna gain exposure

on like a local FM affiliate. It doesn't happen anymore. Yeah, I, I mean, all these local affiliates anyway, they either pay no money and you don't, or you're not allowed to do anything. What are you gonna send your tapes around? Like any big radio station, they've got their hands all over these jocks so much that they can't do anything anyway or they're hiring one person to do voice tracks for New

York to Troy Cleveland and it's just one guy who's doing all these jobs for 30 grand. Well, you can just listen to podcasts and there's no rules. Let's say whatever you want. The whole time. How does a podcast have? Yeah. What are the rules? What are the rules?

When you're on radio. When you're on radio. What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio?

What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do you want to radio? What do this the Wild West? This is a bit of new frontier. So what do you I mean doesn't the FCC get mad when you put this on the radio? There's no rules. So where can you put this? Certainly there's some rules. I don't understand. Where can people hear the show we're on right now?

I'm on the radio. Guys. Is it a TV? It's no rules. So then where to where to on the internet? The What? What? Wide web buff. You know what's on that? No rules. No, I thought this was just like the only thing the internet there are no rules. There's no fucking rules, Zach.

Like that shirt. No rules. There's no fucking rules. So you mean to tell me I'm on the internet. Where there's the Wild West. Wow. No rules. Okay, there are any rules. I know I'm into the saloon with your guns and shoot the ceilings

I know he's gonna stop you Barkeep keep them We don't you have to pay for the drink hey no rules. Oh wow for the drink? Hey, no rules. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's simple. Great.

Wow. So that's really when people should be looking into it. So I was going to think that's screenshot and fucking puts a terrorism behind it. This is what we should be doing. Yeah. So what were you saying? It's going to be good. No, I'm good.

I'm good. Yeah. Where's my water? Just saying as a fan, I don't listen to the radio anymore. What's your name again? Chris. Okay. I don't listen to the radio anymore Chris. Okay. I don't listen to the radio at all Real, you're a problem. Just all pot. Yeah, too many. Absolutely. And you live in your crime analysis, judge, you're living the life of the rules. One of those crime judges. But yeah, you know, one of those well-known crime judges. But for your degree for that, what's your favorite show?

What's your favorite show? I'll put you on the spot. What's your favorite show? This, this is the first one I listened to. It's almost like a ritual every week, else in this, then burr, and then that'll usually get me to Tuesday, and then it's Tuesdays with stories, and then, you know, Legion of Skanks, now that took me over to the Kumian Network, but to rest your radio,

is that it's not a good thing anymore? The one point that Howard made that is 100% true is all those shows that he just mentioned, those people have built audiences outside of podcasting. That's the one thing that isn't happening for the most part is people building audiences strictly on podcasting. Well, can I say something else?

That's so much of it. I built a lot of guys from, I got a lot of people from ONA on my show from doing that. But I built, I've actually got my own fans. Because the one thing from my show, I had to, I knew I had to go and get my own fans. I had to go do something that was mine because I had to build something so that people get me because I do own a that's a little part of me. That was a small part of me. I'm a comic but they don't know. You guys would go to my shows from one angle. Dude, you're real funny because you're on own a you're kind of that guy. You know what I mean? And then they go see, I'm not that guy

who fucking, you know, whatever we do on that show, I'm a fucking stand up comic number one. That's what I fucking do. Maybe an actor number two, you know, but that's my comedy, that's what I do. So you come see me, the reason why I'm doing this show, OP and anti show was to get you to come to this show. But I needed to find a way to get my fans. I needed them to be mine.

Totally. I needed them to be like, I like, I know what you do. I know you stand up, I know you're a podcast, I know the people you hang out with, but I know what type of guy you are. So that's what podcasts do. But I think what you're saying is that it calls kind of folds into each other, right?

That you have to, because it's a two-on-comic, that's a built-in way that you're gonna build an audience. I mean, you're not gonna build an audience going to local FM radio markets, but that you that you're gonna build an audience. I mean, you're not gonna build an audience going to local FM radio markets, but that you do still have to build an audience, whether you're a comedian, whether you're doing shit on YouTube, you have to do something to stand out that will draw people to a podcast, at least to start with.

And then eventually your podcast can spread via word of self. And then some of them don't, man. And so, you know, some of them, you know, my podcast is evolved. I always let it evolve into what I think, what it's where it's going. I never made it one thing and just kept it that way.

Right. Because I would just keep those fans and that's it. And there's a fucking ceiling to that. Totally. You know, I mean, now, I mean, look, I got three fucking hotbrouts from Buffalo. One of them is a little curvy what there's mouth. Well up shows They're all fucking like fuck off. Okay, no

You said before. Yeah, no you said that we I asked it. I didn't say because I wasn't even there so I don't know I've never seen her they like we love pizza and difficult to lift This is from your story because I've never seen them I don't know what they look like. What do you say a Buffalo 10? Buffalo 10, man. What do you have against Buffalo? No, dude, Buffalo, they got some nice beautiful bovine women.

Okay, so the fucking chicks in Buffalo, me, I wish I wasn't married because I do a lot of shows in Buffalo because they like to get down. You go up there and they're like, yeah, let's fucking go. I've had some serious sex in Buffalo. Like serious sex in Buffalo. Cause it's Buffalo. It's like you come up,

even if you're from New York, that's almost like being famous. Like you live in the city. Like, you know what I mean? It's like get Buffalo Alabama. Yeah, but you'll find them in your luggage. Take me with you. I love it.

I got laid at a Buffalo bar show and I fucking stink. Yeah, I mean, like really smell. No, you don't smell. You smell? Sometimes I used to do more. Why did you get a pep talk from Lewis? Dude, you got a shower. No, I came from a very GGL in state of mind.

That was like a weird punk kid for a long time. Really? Now I'm finally entering society. So you smelled just like, fuck it, you don't need the shower. This is what I am. Yeah, I was an animal. So really?

That's such a thing. All these punk kids cross punks. And even just like, just in general, so many musicians in Baltimore just smelled horrific. The best, like, and they fucked all the time. I don't know how it was possible that it was like you're emitting an older that should just repulse people. But.

Oh, when you sleep floor to floor, I mean, I was on a tour with my band for a long time and, you know, you slept in the car, you slept on the, the band you opened for his floor and so, yeah, sometimes you're a gross person. What do you play? I play keyboards. No shit, you play guitar at all? No shit. You play guitar at all No, I just play synthesizers. Okay cool. Maybe we'll jam sometime. I'd love that. All right cool. What are you laughing at? Just like I keep warning guitar to totally different instruments

Keyboard lock of sigils. It's a keytar. That's different. Well fucking jam dude That's different. Well, fucking jam, dude. And I ran. Oh, that's my show. So, boom, that boom, the bow. Boom, the bow. Dukukukuk. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. This is great.

This is great. I'm going to wrap this fucker up. This has been a great show. You guys are great for coming in. Thank you so much. Let's go through the room real quick. We're going to go for you first. What do you got stop them?

So follow me on Twitter at stov comedy And I also have an erotic Instagram account that I'm really trying to get off the floor I just stop for one second. It's the funniest thing in the world It's disgusting and you're gonna go you don't want to look at it like in public if you're at work Please don't bring this up on your computer. You will be fired. Please do. Okay. He has a thing on it That's on Instagram. What's it called? What's it at Stavvy baby? S T A V V Y baby What's the thing I like that? Well, you see where's the work out what I love? There's there's some work. There's one workout video Hawaiian fitness. Yeah, please check it out really good stuff

What's the what's the push up one thing? That's the Hawaiian fitness. Oh the lovers push push up. It's called the lovers push up. Yeah, it's the funniest thing I've ever fucking see you. It's Davos on the ground. Don't ruin it. Come on. I fuck off. All right, go ahead. Tell me. I'm gonna get off the ground. All right, fuck you. You want me to spoil it? It's like you're not a fucking transformer movie. It's a six second video guy. Yeah, just six second. Stavros is handle ground, and another guy's on top of them, and they're hand-to-hand on top of each other. And the guy pushes off when he comes back down. They can't see. So I'm in the fucking train. Yeah, please check that out.

Yeah, what else you got? You're out with me. I'm with you at Ridgefield, right? Ridgefield. Ridgefield. Playhouse coming up. And maybe some other stuff. Paul Verzi's with us too.

That's going to be a fun one. So if you're in Connecticut, get the fuck on it, get your tickets. Stop fucking around. And then first weekend in November, I'm at the DC improv. So come, I'm opening for David Tell. It should be awesome. That's awesome, man.

Yeah. Great. All right, we'll try to get you in this club too. You ready to get in the cellar? Not yet. No, not yet. You want to? You really impressed SD before, so.

I'll write Deepu over there. Another armor deep. All right, armor deep. Yeah, we'll talk about it. I go. What do you got? I'm at radio. Thank you.

I was going to plug him. No, I'm kidding. What do you got, Andrea? I'm at Radio Asia one on Twitter and Instagram. And Sam Roberts show Monday through Friday, 9 to midnight, I I'll be radio. It's great. He plugged himself first.

Yeah. Hey, it's your guy. It's not my guy anymore. He told me. He's your guy. 9 nights each. Watch what my guy does. By the way, you can go to natsam.com for everything and my show.

YouTube.com's less than I said. He's. Don't interrupt my plug. Sorry. His Sam Roberts show, Nights and I'll be radio. Also the wrestling podcast, if you're wrestling fans download Sam Roberts wrestling podcast But it's all at not sam.com awesome. Thanks man. Where is the Sam? Where is that podcast just anywhere? Yes, I'm I do not see him. I work your on no man

No, all right, what do you got very very successful though? I wish he we should talk very successful I know. What do you got? Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. At Zach is not funny. ZAC is not funny. That's ironic. Thank you.

You got it. You got it. On October 24th, I'll probably get kicked off the show. I'm supposed to do it with Lewis J. Gomez. Why? Because I blew up his spot. Remember before when he said Lewis cheats on his wife We bring it back up I'll come with my puppy a pecky with loses crispy. Oh, and

Look out for my new movie returns a new come high volume with two starring me belly J Lemmy from motorhead and Ron Jeremy. We have a test screening October the 10th at Vidiology in Brooklyn Well, I'm going to a Billy J Yes, she's in my movie. How'd you fucking me, Billie Jay? I heard her on this show in Calgary. Exactly. Everything stems from this show.

Tuesdays with stories. Sam Kelly, Lee J. Legion's a fucking sc-everything. Sam came to see the premiere of volume one of the movie and has the poster because. Because it's on his wall. Why? Because of this show.

Because I've been a trauma fan for a time. I totally heard on the show and I fucking love her. God do I love her. Anyways, what else? That's good. Alright, scub, what do I got? You got coming up your August 2nd. You can be at the Hoboken Comedy Festival. Could you have any enthusiasm whatsoever? Like, you see how he did his plugs? Do you know why? Because I couldn't find the dates, and I was looking

at how he scrolled back too far. That's so cool. And then, Lord of Dail, he's coming October 8th, 9th, 10th. So, he has him as not screened. In the improv, Lord of Dail. Albany October 15th, comedy works, 15, 16, 17th, and then you're going to be at the Ridgefield Playhouse, the 23rd, and then you're going on for like two weeks.

November 5th, big tour. Big tour. Wow, 5th through the 20th, you're at the JFL Anniversary Tour. Yes, I am. Very excited about that. Very excited about that. Big tour, 15 days in Canada. Huge shows, massive hall in Canada, huge shows,

Massie Hall, oh dude, just huge theaters. I'm a little nervous. Don't be nervous, you're gonna do great. Well, you gotta do clean, you know what I mean? It's can't be too edgy. Yeah, that's not great for you then. Well, I can do it, but you can do it, but it's in the best, you know, I don't know.

We'll see though. I like these things that are growing off your skull? Do you look like a star trek, like a human, but not a human? You know, those planets? I'm coming into it. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's cool. No, Lauren.

I like it. You never said anything about me that you're into. I love you. Thank you. I'm into your lips. Who's not in the room? Who isn't? I know. Jesus Christ, my mom wants to kiss me.

All right. What else do I got? Anything else? That was it. And if you want to send stuff for the studio, send it to 117 McDougal Street. What's the zip code? 1012.

Got it. In care of YKWD, please. Yes. And it will get to us. We'll put it up behind you. Like the Bill Murray photo frame photo from our friend Chris. I got it. Thanks, man.

Chris, I really do. That was great that you put that in. You gave it to us. We love that. What else? And if you want to come in, go ahead. Come on. Let's go.

Hey, if you want to come in guy come on. Let's go. Hey if you want to come in email ykwd producer or rikas.com And just send me an email. What's it? Yeah, Matt from laugh button Says he hates the only part of the show he hates is when I I yell at you Yeah, it is shut the fuck up. It's my favorite part of the show. It's really just shut up when I'm talking to you, okay I Shut the fuck up. It's my favorite part of the show. It's really just shut up when I'm talking to you, okay? Okay. I I told my one I was gonna I forgot to do it today. I told my gonna do it every show now just to piss him off So I love they hopefully made it through the whole episode and I just made him angry I like the show, but shut the fuck up. I love Matt. I love those guys from left button

What do you got sweetie? At Lauren Kubara and Twitter and I'll be here chillin awesome great now guys I want to thank you for coming in you want to you want to plug your thing? Are you good? No Bobby? I just want to say thank you, buddy. Yeah fun. Absolutely awesome. I'd like to say thank you to Dude, I have anything to plug you have nothing to plug at all. No, sorry. You guys are fucking great guys You had a fun time. It was cool, right? Yeah, thank you guys anytime you want to come back Just not next week or the week after, the week after that, or actually three weeks,

I gotta go and get it. So around a month, two, four months from now, if you want to come back. No, I'm serious, you guys are great. Thanks for coming in. We're gonna be doing these live now. We're gonna fill up, we get it around three more, four more seats we can do.

We'd like some chicks. Actually, let's grow some buffalo, we're gonna come down to the live show. We're gonna hook that. Chick coming in next week. We have a girl coming in buffalo gonna come down to the live show. We're gonna hook that up. You got a chick coming in next week. We have a girl coming in just one girl. Just one girl. Alright, well let's get another person in so she's not uncomfortable.

She knows she's gonna be all about her. Okay, are you building real or are you gonna be asking her? What's that? We're gonna like ask her like, is there, are her tits real? What? She's very excited to come. She can't wait. Oh, finish. Deepo, please.

Let's end the show on the high note. What she's very excited to come she can't wait. Oh finish deep. Oh, please I can't sustain that I I fucked up Hi, man, you guys are the best fans in the fucking world. Thanks for listening live for being in the chat room participating I want to thank SD and known for stopping by that was pretty epic and you guys make sure you spread the word Subscribe to this channel if you're watching this on YouTube subscribe don't be a dickhead subscribe review and Spread the word of the you know what dude podcast you know what dude. We'll see you next time Listening to YKWD podcast what dude podcast you know what dude we'll see you next week. to catch some of the internet, and they're all free, and they're all free.