Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Zipper Straight

Episode Date: September 10, 2018

Jared Freid, Liza Treyger and surprise drop in Bert Kreischer are in studio with Bobby! Things get crazy with the dangers of social media addiction, the impact of Luis CKs return to standup, and the dangers of of being a woman in comedy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. I'm gonna the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic? No, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch? What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin. That's how it all holds the-

Not as you love a part of it. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lives. You never know. It's where we kill each, you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Fuck you. Fuck you. It's down on the fuck that everything is consistently percentage wise.

This podcast don't fuck around. Alright, we don't fucking understand everything consistently percentage wise this podcast don't fuck around All right, we don't fuck around and not we're not fucking around again because not only do I have funny people on here I have the young guns. I have the next gen after this podcast does I don't just put on my The fucking well, let me get a famous guy to sit down and pick his brain or her My friends my contemporaries they, they've been here. I don't do it on this. I do it on life in the shed because that's a better show. People pay money for that.

That's the upsell. I want to go to the shed. You can go to the shed. Do I need to earn more credits before the shed? Maybe season two. OK. Maybe end of season one. After the Netflix special.

I have a, yeah, after that. And you'll be on on you can be on the if the if uh maybe when I pay a PR person they can get in No, actually We all right we got a great shot. It happens Sabrina paid a PR person and then we were a Montreal And they were like you have to go do an interview for the inner obeying and I'm like She's like I'm giving you $15,000 who Sabrina's Sabrina? What are you? My friend is a comic. I tell you, you just say it like everybody

on my fan base knows. How Sabrina? You mean, oh, we love her. You should watch her Netflix 15. It's funny. But it's crazy. I don't know what these people have. I get those emails on my too.

I want to get to the shed. Well, they'll be like, yeah, so this comic wants to come on the show. And I'm like, I know that they can just text me. Anthony DeVito, that happened with him. They were like, he's trying to promote his special. There is a real problem. There is a real problem with men and women sexually because as soon as you say I want to make it to the shed, I literally thought of nine dirty things I wanted to say to you. And that's wrong.

That's wrong. I only thought about building like a birdhouse with your side. Oh, you're so sweet. I can build it. can be, that's a weird. Bobby just thought of a move called the birdhouse. And then at the end, I say sweet. I love you, that's a great one. Fast young guns, that's why. Peep-peew. Bringing it. I'm the old guy at the fucking house with a musk.

Come, you guys. Peep. All right, we're gonna do a couple things. Well, I do wanna say something cute that happened in Montreal too Can I do my ads first your son gave me gave me a my friend a group hug? He did love you guys come on. He we were leaving the door and he went wait ran to us to hug us Not everybody by the way. He doesn't do that with everybody. I couldn't believe it because I didn't think we were that cool That's important. He doesn't do it with everybody. I'm turning kids. Well, he be, you know, but he does love girls.

And he loves Ari. He loves Ari Shafir. He takes his shirt off. We're in Denver. He takes his shirt off. I go, what are you doing? He goes, being like Ari. Oh my God.

He just sat on a rock. Ari is the type of guy that a young kid would be like, I want to, you know, No, until he realized he's 46 and alone. You know what I mean? I'm not a man wearing a size. He's not a boy. He's so counter. we're in the behind, where he's the point. He's so counter.

We're in weed. He's not alone anymore, though. Oh, I'm excited. He's not alone. All right. That's why he was going to come by today, too. To get engaged. No, he's getting engaged.

You're either alone or getting engaged. What the fuck, him? I was making a joke. I know, I was making a two-bar. I was like, when you get to know you sing, I was making a joke. I didn't want it too bad When you get to know you sing I was making I didn't want anyone to think I'm desperate to be married All right, ready I'm gonna get in this Can I get in this she's gonna go for it?

All right, are you done? Can I get in it issue because you fucking do this every time? All right laughable. This is Lisa's podcast move. I was the first person to promote laughable You are you you are. And this is something I know. Well, watch you tell us about laughable. Since you know so much about it. It's such a great idea, basically. You look and look up any comic you want,

and then every episode of any podcast they've ever done just comes up. Yeah. So if you have a crush on someone, you could stalk the shit out of them. You know what I always say about it? It's the best way to get you into someone's show via someone you already like.

Yes. So you hear, you know, Lees or myself here, you hear, you know, Mike, you hear any of us, and you go, that was kind of cool. Let's see what else they do and then see how they would do another show. There's no, and I'm gonna use this word because I'm a secret nerd.

The functionality on the app is unprecedented for podcasting. You go to podcast apps and it's the same shit over and over. And they'll have their favorite, too. They think is the shit. On this, you're gonna go and get people likes because the functionality does. If you're on my show, they're gonna see

that he was on the show. And then they're gonna go from him to somebody else to somebody else. So that's the functionality is amazing. You know I think of these like you're talking about like this is the still the best podcast, still the funniest podcast and I agree with what you're saying. But I'm saying now these podcasts are almost like little mini comedy obstacle courses. So you can see how will your comic do on the J-Train podcast giving advice or on a Britney P. It's a spears podcast.

How would the person that did well here do want a different comedy obstacle? Well, if you can make this show, I pretty much just like New York. This is making it anywhere. If you can survive this show without a deal. This is a big deal. I remember being nervous the first time. Very nervous. The bomb danna sets the precedent.

This does. The bomb danna sets a little bit of an, you know, it raised the stakes still today. I know. I was gave it to you right there. Just to prove a point. Yeah. I am.

I've gotten it too much. I've gotten it the most. Well, that's your show. I mean, I try to sometimes. We got, oh, I want to talk about this real quick. First of all, introduce the guests. Let's introduce the guests because they're going to be in on this because I love these guys. We want to know who's on the show, Mikey. We got Leeds of Trigger and J Train

Jair Freed. And we got a special guest coming by and we will not announce him until he shows up, but you will know him from one thing that he does when he gets here. No, I mean, I knew he is on the show. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I charts. It's, I can't believe how fucking insane the laughs smack you in the face. You know when people say, oh, that room's the greatest room, like Denver works comedy. Comedy on state. Mad, I mean, there's these rooms that you like,

dude, I will work there as long as you keep bringing me there, right? This fucking room is one of those rooms. It's good. Packed out. You were just there. I was there to get. What a key. I didn't even ask you about it. Right this fucking room is one of those rooms. It's good packed out You were just there. I was in the studio. What a key I didn't even ask you about it. We talked for a while key through Robinson Rich Voss Paul Versey myself The best friends were at Vegas. Yeah, we because that's like that Morgan Freeman movie. Just all you old guys

Old Vegas what is it called last Vegas? old guys. That's kind of what I'm showing you. That's what I was like. Old Vegas, what is it called? Last Vegas. He's called last Vegas. I'm gonna tell you, we were all fucking, I went golf with a person. I watched the Instagram stories, it was hilarious. Dude, fucking, I'm in the car.

I have a golfed in five years, I'm not a golfer really. I'll play. So I go out to hang, I'm sitting there and we're on the first hall, bosses in front of us. I got my own cart, you know. He's on the fucking thing. Well, he's a serious golf player. Serious.

So he's in there. All of a sudden we're behind them and we look up and he drives into a cactus. Fucking full on. Hit this cactus and the cactus is like, fuck you bitch. Doesn't even budge. It just goes, dude.

You see it, get out of the fucking car and we're like what are you doing? What are you doing and he comes out as in my chest? He hit his chest on the steering wheel We were fucking howl. Well, what did he do? You had like a brain He forgot he was driving because there's no noise in a golf cart It's electric so you don't hear so. So he was pushing the fucking gas and just fixing something on his bag. And if we just drove straight into a cactus, ah, God, me first, we'll laugh for 20 minutes.

How many holes did you guys laugh at? 18. You went all 18 in the heat? And I got a birdie on the par five. Come on. Suck my dick, dude. In that heat? A real birdie, yeah.

On a par five. It's hot. Now, I went to one of those drives once. I tried he's a real birdie. Yeah, on a par five. It's hot. Now I went to one of those drives once. I tried to hit it a few times. It brought me no joy. I gave someone my hurry. It's not a joy for me. This is not for me.

Really? I hate it. I don't mind it, but I was putt. I was sitting in the cart. I was sitting in the cart smoking a cigar, doing my shit. There he is. There he is. That must have been the way we can eat up here. No, no, this is for you. Oh, we can eat. Let's take it much. There he is. There he is. That must have been...

Yeah. We can't eat up here. No, no, this is for you. We can eat. I'm going to call it. I've got it for you to take back to Max. What's up? What's up, Papa Bear?

Are you fucking out of your mind? Are you trying to kill me? What's up, buddy? He's your special. Oh, sorry, brother. What's up, man? Are you problem? I know.

You know we're desperate for your affection. Oh my God, dude. Are you kidding me? What is that? I got him for... So you could take him. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? I got him for, so you can take him back to Max tonight. Are you kidding me? You're the best dad in the world. Bob, but you are the, it's just first day of kindergarten today, bro. What kind of backpack does he have?

He's got a customer with MK on the back. Oh. And a custom lunch box. And you can pull out the middle and put soup in hot goods. Let me tell you, let me tell you you about things about Bobby that you don't know Okay, he loves gadgets. So him getting max ready with the lunch box and a bag was like porn for him Morning, we were taking the photos of front. I had a my new tripod hooked up with my camera And I had all this crazy shit don't just take the photo. Yeah, it's all I was it. Well, we have a lunch. Yeah, what you packing. That's my wife's department.

I don't fuck with that. She always cooks. It's how they if I did it, it would be a fucking, you know, it'd be a slice of pizza. She I think it was a sandwich. It was a turkey sandwich. No. Chicken salad sandwich in a wrap carrots. Some fishies and something else. And then another staggy packs, it's just full of steak tips. Yeah, I packed it from here. It's left over Chinese food. But those were the back days. Super slow-maned, just a low-maned card. But it's half-eaten.

I never once packed my kids a reasonable lunch. I always went overboard like meatballs. And my kids really got on like that stuff. Killed the kid walking around with the big Chinese food bag. Cookies, cookies always, I always snuck cookies and I was like, they're not letting them sugar. Bert, Bert's got fuckin', they go in and it would sushi. That's sushi.

That was for the best days when you got to take the leftovers. I felt so fuckin' cool being able to take like Gerdaunos leftovers. What do you mean leftovers? Like having a deep dish pizza for lunch at school the next day like I felt so cool doing I used to I used to remember because I always wanted lunch tickets but I wasn't my mother would never go a welfare which pissed me off I had free lunch I wanted free lunch so fucking cuz those kids all of a sudden one

day of the week they'd be like all right lunch tickets they got to go get this fucking row of tickets this fucking roa tickets. This orange roa tickets. And when I was a punk, I feel bad about this. Me and Bobby Ciccetti used to go, when I go to the bathroom when we knew lunch tickets were given out, and we'd make everybody give us one lunch ticket, and we get one lunch ticket,

and then we'd sell them. Did you threaten with violence? A look. Okay. Bobby's a kid. Bobby looked at, Bobby was like, I was a kid. Bobby, look Bobby look the Bob was like that was Bobby Bobby's daddy with violence you know that

right Bobby C. Cady was more the tough guy I was more the look you know the hey what's okay hey you know that guy what about a body bag yeah yeah yeah yeah Bobby would look like Matt Dylan he was fucking gorgeous feathered hair remember that down the

middle feathered that fall that that down the middle, feathered, that fall, that cast, that Sean Cassidy hair? Yeah, I had a co-lick in the front, so mine always just went left, so I could never, I would part it down the middle and just went flip like that, so I look like an idiot in my whole life. And my mother would cut my hair

and she'd cut my bangs crooked. I have a photo of me. I look like I'm serious, she'd be in a home. And I would just go to school and I had a dome hair cut. Oh, I wanted a photo of me. I look like I'm serious, you're being a home. And I would just go to school and I had a dome haircut. Oh, I wanted a spike so bad. A spike in a tail. Punk rock. Dude, my mom cut my hair so I never got cool haircuts.

I was fucking terrible. I couldn't spike because my collix. If you needed the bangs, the spikes. And you had curly hair. Well, my hair went curly. This is a weird thing. One year we were on vacation and I jerked off in a canoe in the lake. And I fell in and then my hair went curly. This is a weird thing. One year we were on a vacation, and I jerked off in a canoe in the lake, and I fell in, and then my hair went curly. Oh, my hair went curly. What?

Oh, my God. My mom and my third dad, Larry, they rented a lake house. And I remember I took the canoe out, it was foggy. So I took the canoe in the middle of the lake And I just took my packer out and I just died and I was like should I and I was like fuck it And I just jerked off. I was so turned on. I wish I could get back to that. Oh, dude It was so hot. I remember the fog was coming over and then right after I came the fog lifted It was like it was like spiritual. And you had a curl.

And then I fell in the water. I swear to God, I fell in coming back. And my hair went curly. I thought God punished me. Like I thought it was some religious thing. Like, it's gotta be. I'm not saying we are haphazard. It's gotta be.

It's paranormal for sure. I'm serious. I remember walking paranormal for sure. I'm serious. I remember walking with my sister, she's like, why is your hair curly? Because my hair was straight in my whole life. Just zip a straight boom. Nothing zip a straight thing. When I was in, I had really curly hair.

And in college, to go out, I would straighten my hair. But I had a thing where I'd go fucking the shower. And then the next day, everyone would know, I did that because I would have curly hair again. Because you got your hair wet. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's just my hair got wet and that summer it just went curly.

Oh, but I wanted to say my dream here when I was young. Oh, Jesus punished me. Mm-hmm. I'm not saying Jesus, but something mystical is in that leg. Mr. Vib and my giz. Yeah. My giz with fish juice. Did you come outside the canoe?

I came all over my little belly. That is so dangerous in the canoe to be over to the side to one side. No, I was lying back. So you centered yourself on the back. I didn't want to get caught. I wanted to kind of lie down in the middle, like lying on my belly.

Why do I have my back? I'm visual like you're getting rid of a body in the middle of the lake, just jacking off. I jacked off on jet skis. They're not jet, wave runners, wave runners. What's a wave runner? What's a difference between a wave runner the lake, just jacking off. I jacked off on Jetskies. They're not Jetskies. Wave runners, wave runners. What's a wave runner? What's a dude with a wave runner?

I like a couple wave runners. A wave runner you sit on, a Jetskie you stand on. Yeah, yeah, Jetskies you stand on, wave runner in the Bahamas when I was like 14. You jerked off on it? Why? Yeah, I was just, you know, boom, boom, boom.

And you're like, well, that's kind of getting to me. And then next you know, I was like, I'll just take it out a little further. So no one can see me, jerk off and then come back me. And then next, you know, I was like, I'll just take it out a little further. So no one can see me jerk off and then come back in. And I remember the captain of the boat who was a boat we're on. He was gonna sandy. He was like, you're out pretty far, huh?

And he looked around his neck, this binoculars. And he was like, oh shit. This is what I wanna go back. I wanna say my dream here that I have when I was a teen. I wanted the Christina Aguilera hair from the video come on over and it was like white and black and white and red. That's all I ever wanted. I couldn't bleach my hair.

So I got a black and pink. But that was my favorite. Come on over Christina Aguilera. What dream hair? When I first found my, when I first started enjoying myself was at that time, like around 13. I, because all the jerk-in-off before then, I was very scared about it.

Oh, this was real freaky for me, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like 13 though, I started getting into myself. I was sure, I was masturbating well before I knew what masturbating was in my brain. You wanted the different color underneath. Yeah, I wanted white and just go to the middle somewhere. I thought it meant I was gay.

Masterbending? Yeah, I thought like I legit came out to myself and was like apparently I'm gay, I can't stop touching my head. That's because you did it with your friends. No, no, no, when I was a senior in high school, I don't know, man. When I was a senior in high school,

Scott O'Brien and I were on the beach, and he was like, and no one ever talked about jerk off. No one ever admitted it. And Scott O'Brien and I were on the beach at beach week. He was like, you know that one thing that we all do that no one says they do? And in my head I'm like, please say it's jerking off. Please say it's jerking off.

And he was like, I was like, I think, and he goes, why do it? If you do it too, like I do it, just so you know. We like came out to each other as two dudes that jerked off and it was like a weight off my shoulders and then the next week I'm at Florida State and everyone's like, I jerk off all the time, I was like, oh my god. That sounds like one of the periods

because when you were young, like before you took a pad out to make noise, you'd make sure no one was there and you didn't want anyone to see the trash and stuff. And it's like, what are we or thing to do? In high school, you have, you like grow up with these people. You know, like you go from like all the age groups together you're like I don't want to there's too much that we know about each you know my parents you know everything we would take you to get me on we would take a naked and you're right are you okay yeah well it's just too empty bottles of water I was just doing it for like five minutes very thirsty all right I'm just making sure you're

okay he drinks water. He takes the bottle that's for everybody at the Skyl howl and it takes a little hard. They're dating. They're huge bar. There was one dance where we had to sleep over at my house and we all took naked fun photos. But then one of the girls died.

And so I have this naked teen photos of this girl who died. She sent it back to her family. And we would put sour cream on her tits because we didn't have whipped cream. Really? We start the story over. I think I'm a little lost. No, please stay a slower. Yeah.

No, we were so glad. Bring some of the dead girl more. It was the turn about dance, but we went as a group of girls. So we went to the dance. And then we came home for the sleep over. What's the turn about dance? Like the girls asked the boys or something.

For safety hawkins. Yeah. But a Frostbox. What is it? I don't even know. Okay. And so we decided to like put, cause I had a stuffed snake.

So we took like Britney Spears style, like we took like nude spreads photos. Where are these photos? I should probably look at these. I know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're softwares of ice. Isn't that weird to me now?

Yeah. Because I look at kids now. So young. Now even when you do colleges, like I look at kids now. They're so different now. Even when you do colleges, like I thought I was just such a grown-up 18 and you see, it's weird to do sex jokes. Well, it's a weird thing. Yeah, colleges are weird now to me

because remember, you just go to college? I don't think that at all. No, I had no ins, like, I would do colleges when I was like 28 years old and be like, you know, when you're sucking a dick or if you're fucking and I know I think, look back and I go, they were children. They were in the same neighborhood. And I was like, hey, you come inside her

and then you take her strong, you suck to come out, and you spit her eye. And they're like, oh my god. This is one boy going, woo! She's in the middle of the football team. Woo! Black people are so, and they're like, I don't even know any black people.

Well, college. This is a very good college. Black people are so and they're like I don't even know any black people College I remember the comment the freshman year I was say I got to see David tell 18 freshman like week in college and I was say in the big basketball arena Here's a prop. I want to say something to you, Bert, though, because you have a kid and you have two kids. 14, dude. Yeah. Okay.

Here's what happens. Here's what I just shut your face for five seconds. Let me just say this to you. I was ground-kitting. No, they're great. Of course. It's not the point. The point is this.

They believe that that's your answer. Yeah, they're girls. I want to put it in. Because today was a fucking huge thing for me. Yeah. It's not the point the point is that they believe that's your Listen, yeah, they're girls Because today was a fucking huge thing for me You know, I've been there in space because this is I feel like and I could be wrong But tell me if this is real I feel like I just let my kid and I gave my kid to you guys Like my my kid has been my kid in my life. Now by letting him go to school, now he's out there in the world and the world kind of owns a piece of him now because he's going to be with them a lot now. And the kids, the shit that I went through, the bullying,

the fucked up shit, the teachers, the, and everybody's flawed. And now he's gonna be out there, and I'm fucking petrified of what's gonna happen, and I'm gonna see all the shit I taught him up till now, and all the shit I teach him, but now I'm gonna see who he is. Not like, no matter what you teach, you're still a person. Like who's he gonna be when he has to go through all this shit? And it, because all I wanna do as fucking protect them forever.

And I mean, am I right or am I wrong? Dude, yeah, no, I remember when I, we took Georgia to second grade, we moved, we bought a house, we moved to the new place, and she went to a new school in second grade, and she, and it was brand new, she knew anyone, it was first day of school, and she put on a fedora, right?

And I was like, don't fucking do that. I was like, in my head, I was like, don't do that, you're gonna get mocked. Like, you don't wanna just fit in. Like, you don't know anyone you gotta make friends. She had a fedora on, she was like, felt confident. And I felt like going, I can fix this for you. Like, don't, and then she went to school

and she was like, right before she went into the class, she goes, does my hat look good? And I was like, I'm getting like, chill, I'm just thinking about it now going, I wanted to go, no, no, no, no, no, let me just take that from you and just be normal, but you gotta let them be themselves. Do I'm going through that with drugs and sex right now?

Because my kids are like, that's when, they're in ninth grade. My oldest is in ninth grade. That's when I started smoking weed and finger fucking. Like that's, and so now, and she's, oh dude, I'm sorry, what did you say? That's when I started smoking weed and finger fucking. Okay, you did say finger fucking. Yeah, okay. Finger fucking like that's and so now and she's oh dude I When I started smoking we in finger fucking did say finger fucking yeah, yeah, but I Lasting finger banging do I know I know that but I just I didn't know you Fingering

I know you started there. Yeah, there was other stuff before that no no no. Oh, feeling boobs Is it fucking first did you I fucked before I finger Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is before because that's why they have bases that's the end what did you say what bases it second third no third base third base third base is oral no no guys no no no five all they're all anything below the pants wait wait a minute stop no we have to wait a minute stop I want to hear you off for a second let's go around the table I want to go to call I want to hear you I feel like I'm about to be judged first is making out and Titties, okay, oh my no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no She's doing both though. That's pretty cool Third is oral third is oral both ways licking sucking and then fourth is Okay

On what planet is his second base not boobs I feel like I'm fucking pure tanical society First First was kissing with no tongue kissing with I'm really. I swear to God. Where were you? I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God.

I swear to God. Where were you? I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God.

I swear to God. I swear to God. Where were you? I swear to God. I swear to God. Where were you? I swear to God. I swear to God.

I swear to God. Where were you? I swear to God. Where were you? I swear. And then. This is a Catholic school upbringing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is. And then home run was. So you went from Titties. There's a note world.

To no world. Oh, I didn't even know that that was a thing. Really? Yeah, I didn't know. I remember I got my first blow job in college. Wow. And I was shocked that she wasn't blowing. I was like, I think you're doing it wrong.

You thought she was supposed to go. Yeah, I didn't know what it was, I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what it was. Can I say some of the word blow job? It is a fucking stupid name. Yeah. It is a dumb name for suck, second dick, a pop job,

a suck job. A suck job. There's more accurate, a suck job is more, a pop, maybe a suck job. Some pop job sounds like something dirty cops do on their time off. Hey, we're gonna hit this pop job, We'll get a donut, huh? All right, let's do it. He's got diamonds. What the fuck?

Oh no, who's got diamonds? Oh no. Fuck it, Bert. All right, what's yours? All right, what's yours? French kiss first, best. Okay, second base, titties. Yep.

Anything, Titty. Sloppy second, licking Titty. Nice. Third base, anything below the belt, home run sex. Right, put yourself inside there. Yeah, mine was the same as yours. First one, kissing, second base, Titty. Grabbing a little Titty.

Now, now if, because I think the reason why this whole system was invented is to, so you don't just go, hey, can I jerk off in front of you? I, I can't. That's outfield. I'm joking, I'm joking. But I'm saying no. So the thing was invented because it's red light green light, I think, the free kiss.

And if she says no, you're not gonna go for some tet. If you kiss, then you could, okay, cool, she's into it. You get heated, then you grab a little titty or a little dicky. And now you're like, okay, if she says no, or he says no, you stop. You go back to first. If they say, yeah, then you can try

for a little finger popping or a little, you know, jerky. I would also like to amend that first might be titties on top of shirt, second titties under shirt. You can't grab a titty without kissing. No, of course, but it's titty and kiss together. So titty and kiss. So you're combining. I am for a make out. Yeah. You just, you just brought it back to do. Remember when you were kidding, you like, uh, you fell over, over shirt or undershirt. Oh, I got

undershirt. Like that. Oh, yeah, be what's yours? So sweet and nice. Mine's the same as Liza's. Please. Please us. Fuck. Wow. Apparently not the same. I went to Liza Monelli right in my head. Mike, what about you? French kissing, titties, hand stuff, sex, hand stuff. Hand stuff. What do you fucking puppeteer? What? Yeah. I just remember hearing in eighth grade that someone gave a blowjob with gum in their mouth and got gums, got the gum stuck in the guy's pubes. Right. What is that?

What grade was that? That was when I learned about blowjob. I was in seventh grade, it happened to people in eighth grade. The first... I didn't even know people were sucking dick and I was like, there was gum in his pubes. I mean, one of my first girlfriends is sixth grade. How funny how you never forget this. So bizarre this is the fucking folklore.

I heard of a girl who a guy had gone down on her and put tuna fish inside her and he ended up with a fork and she got maggots in her pussy. Clearly that never happened. No one would ever put tuna fish inside of it. No one would ever like go like, oh, you know, make this so much better. Can I say something? I can't drain the pan. That's not true.

Really? Because I hang on. I didn't get relaxed. I didn't do good of it. That's how I did. I did side-deaf, snuff. I started eating. Because what happens, I did do something weird with my first, one of my first vaginas.

It might have been my first vagina that I saw, this girl, Michelle, that left down the street. She was a little older than me. I always fucked around with older girls back then. But she showed me her vag vagina in my mom's room, and I drew on it with a Sharpie. I drew a face on her pussy, because I saw her face.

I was very artistic, and I saw a little... This is an artistic. Well, I saw a little face. This is very artistic, so I decided to, you know, do a painting on a vagina. Yeah, I drew a face on her pussy and she got a trouble because it was permanent Sharpie and her mom and the brother beat the shit out of me

because he's like, you drawing on my sister's vagina? And I was like, I was better than sticking my dick in it. I mean, yeah. I was like, why did the mom find out? I was in fourth grade. Oh yeah, I was in fourth grade. The mom thought she was bathing her child. You think?

Yeah, would you listen to the show? That's a fucking dog butt. That's a fourth grade. That makes sense because I am my pecker. I just heard mom looking at her pussy. I thought you guys were teens. She was 22. No, she was 22.

What's going on your mom? What's going to be tough for Bobby as a dad with a kid in school is matching up the real things that happen in life with the ages? Let, fourth grade, I guess you're gonna be drawing on buses now. First grade, you get sucked in, he's in a re-bob bush. You can draw your way from here. We did crayons today, dad. Well, that is a weird thing that's happening. Like, my son's never heard the word Faggot, never heard the N word, never heard, you know, never heard of.

He doesn't really hear, fuck that much much once in a while. I miss Chris. And he's just around. And Patrice is around. Patrice is around. He would have heard all the words. Did I hear Patrice? On an old OPM ape, and then he just talked about how much he hates Asians. It was like an hour of just, I just don't like him. I don't like him. This all. Yeah, he, he, I think, yeah. If he was around now, he'd have a tough time.

Dude, he'd be dead. So I didn't mean to interrupt you about this time. Now, hearing no, my daughter. No, because he wouldn't care. I think you would continue doing it and so on. Of course, I don't know in person. No, he wouldn't, he would not. You just keep doing what you wanted.

In fact, I wish he was around because there are a few people that can not give a fuck and there's no consequence. There's really no consequence for him. He didn't give a fuck about anything. If I say a certain thing, those consequences for me. Do you understand that? Does that make sense?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the wrong thing is people want the fame and the money and to do whatever they want. And it's like, you can't do all that. You can, there's no freedom of speech issue. You can do whatever you want. And it's like, you can't do all that. You can, there's no freedom of speech issue. You can do whatever you want. Book your own shit, perform where they'll have you. Like, people just want millions of dollars

and to say the N word. And it's like, you can't do both. Yeah, like Irish fear is the perfect example. As he, he knows how much money has to make a year. And he doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck. And I've never met Patrice, but it seems like he would just do what he wanted. He did what he wanted.

Yes. He did what he wanted, but I gotta tell met Patrice, but it seems like he would just do what he wanted. He did what he wanted. Yes. He did what he wanted, but I got to tell you right now, he wanted the success. In a big way, I had a very, I think I've told this before on the show, he had the show time special. They had a book that and me, I auditioned for it. I made like the second round and got douche. He was staying at my house. He made like the third final round him in Galman.

And I remember that at my house, and I had a dry, we got a big fight about it, because you wanted me to drive him to these things where he was getting the, and I was like, dude, I don't wanna, I just failed. I ain't even on it. And he was like, fuck you, you're my friend. You have to do this.

And I was like, all right, fine. How are you getting home? He goes, you're picking me up. I got to pick you up and goes, yeah, you're my friend. You're picking me up. When I call you, come get me. And I was like, fucking what? But he's right. I'm his friend. And he went and did this thing. And I remember they filmed it. And he came back man. He was in tears. He started fucking crying because the sound was off. The sound sucked. They did the sound for the guy in the booth

for the actual taping, not sound for comedians. The lights were up, the sound sucked, the show sucked, comics were bombing because the sound was off. And he flipped the fuck out, like Patrice does. And they were like, they were like, fuck him, this fucking guy. Why is he, you know, it's good, it's good in the booth, we're fine. Well, you know, and he was like, fuck you, it's not fine for us, mother fucker.

We're doing the show. I'm not fucking, but I'm like, you did fine. I don't, I want to do what I do, not what the fuck you, and he flipped out and they called him and there was going to lose the gig. They were thinking about fucking, he was worried, he was like, you started crying, he's like, why can't I just be me? Why do I have to be what they want me to be? Why do I have to be, why can't I just be me

and get success? And also, it was a different time then. But he eventually did, he eventually did, wear the industry down. He eventually did what they accepted him as him. He's one of those guys that can just do what the fuck he wants to do and make the money I think back then you had to be accepted by the industry to make money there It's really like I don't mean this disrespectful to you guys

But you you're coming up in a comedy time that was not here when we started now like legit Here's number one comics have never been more supportive of each other, ever in the history of comedy. Dude, it was vindictive. That's because you guys are assholes. No, but now people are supportive back then. Dude, if someone got shit, everyone was jealous. Everyone was jealous, but now people get shit

and they're like, oh great, that's awesome. I don't know about that. Dude, when I got my first deal, I was working the door at the Boston Comedy Club. Nobody left. Bullshit. I remember't know about that. Do you mean we didn't when I got my first deal I was working with the boss and nobody left bullshit I remember Patrice going sitting going how much money they paying you and I was like and I remember going Oh, I should tell him and then he just goes 125,000 dollars and I went you you guessed it and then that spread Todd Barry Was talking shit to me that the business has changed you know fucking You don't think that people still do that?

I don't think so. You're out of your fucking mind. I don't think so. Are you crazy? You don't think comics like, oh, what the fuck, so you get into the seller, she's in the seller, she got this, she got that. You don't think they give her shit for stuff that she gets?

Wait, I take that back. I forgot, I read your Twitter. Yeah, I guess that. Wait, what did I write on Twitter? It was when the shit with the Eliza went down. Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess you're totally right. Can I just say I got all my wisdom to you taking out that day and I was on pain killers and all the drugs and someone showed me the tweet and I was like this bitch and I went nuts and then it was the most fun I've ever had in my life. I was like I'd

with liquid weed and I don't regret it but yeah, but I don't I don't think that I'm jealous of her. I'm not jealous. I'm like I'm so annoying. I don't regret it but yeah but I don't think that I'm not jealous of her like I was so annoying which she was like oh you're jealous I'm like no I have friends more successful and funnier than you and hotter and I'm not jealous of that am I liking my like who's hotter yeah who's hotter we are oh what's your old fucking piece of shit I remember look at Jarrett just kept he's like hey I'm not gonna say that I'm not gonna ruin my really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I understand, but I get a lot of things, so if there are people who don't get the thing, can I say something though?

You got to understand. You got guys who are doing comedy for a shitload of time, fucking well and not. Here comes this dude out of nowhere, Barry Katz. And you had an article in a fucking paper. Okay, you had an article in a Rolling Stone. What are you talking about? His story.

Well listen, then you'll understand. But it was Barry Katz. Barry Katz. Who's Barry Katz? Wow. We're done dude. We're done, isn't it? It's not even used to.

It's very nice. This conversation we should even have with them in the room. I know. But I know the story. I know the story. He was a manager. Okay. He's still his.

Listen, he's a manager. But at the time, when he was managing, he had Wanda Sykes, Dave Chappelle, Jim Brewer, Dane Cook, Jamie Moore. Jamie Moore, keep going. Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neill, Billy Burr, Burr Christard, I mean, Jim Gaffigan.

Yeah, he's representing. Are you listening? I am. This is the problem with the last three guys. Name, he's representing. Are you listening? I am. This is the problem with fucking millennials. Name the last three guys. I can't. Okay, then put your fuck the fuck down.

Fuck the fuck in this. She thought she was gonna get away with it too. Well, he did it, man. That's the second. What the fuck was that, boat? I said with, I'm not gonna say names, but I told, I had a young lady on the road with me. I was gonna say, I can't talk,

because I know this is an important call, so I was gonna say, I'm podcasting. See, but I told I had a young lady on the road with me. I was gonna say I can't talk because I know This is an important call so I was gonna say I'm podcasting see they're calling back, but I'll close the face timing you Oh, please I love this. She She's on a podcast right now. She really can't talk okay, it's Bobby Kelly. You know who that is Sam Sam safer How you doing? I'm doing good. She's on a podcast right now. Just yelled at it for being on her phone. I know. Yeah. Okay, great. We'll have her pull me back. I should call you back. Bye. Thank you so much. I was talking to Nick from Hilarities. I was with a young lady. I want

to say her name, Comic. Yeah. And very, very funny. And Nick was talking about how the business has changed for a club owner and things and funny. And Nick was talking about how the business has changed for a club owner and things and whatnot and why internet acts are getting spots. He's really just, and it's like two in the morning where everyone's having cocktails and he's opening up about the business and she keeps getting on her phone

and not listening and texting her friend. And I felt like going, no, no, you're missing. You're missing the greatest moment like you need to be listening right now, and I grabbed your phone and I took it and I said, stop. Jim Gaffigan was one of the last ones he said. I'm just slow.

You're so fucking nuts. I'm just slow. While he was saying, you need to listen and bad things. But I did. If you were at hilarious, you were talking to Nick, you said, I'm like, Internet acts, you're booking. I'm a fully addicted. I think I spent 12 hours at Ann in Instagram.

Does it mess your eyes up? It is ruining my life. Weed sandwiches in my phone. I'm ruining my life. Okay, what's the longest you've ever been on Instagram? No joke in bed when you wake up. Hours. I've been on for really shit two hours.

Two hours before. Two hours in a- I'm also addicted to porn, but that's not ruining my life as much. But the phone, Brad, I had a month. I had a sandwich. Every sandwich is a breakfast sandwich. Light night time, daytime, croissants. I don't care. I was the one.

Who's your friend the other the other? I was the one. I was the one. Is she like sandwiches? She's like, for friends. No, they don't need family. I tell you right now, if I wasn't married and if I was a single, young buck, me and you would be hitting it off.

Your wife was so hot. I was so excited finally meeting her in Montreal. She's so sweet. I like to hear something. I'm thinking about sandwiches. She's so cool. And I think you might have been too much to try to show that you're a great husband.

We were like, go shop and go relax. Have me time. I'll be here. I loved it. No, no, no. Anyways, you just said something that I thought. Very cats. No, we're sandwiches.

No, Instagram. I do want to talk about the very cats. The phone is fucked up. It's like, you know, back in the day, people would see Tetris things. Like I dream of Instagram. Like, it's more or less, I'm not. Can I tell you, you would right now,

if you had my Instagram, you'd be literally orgasmic every day. Because everyone's giving you attention because it's special. Yeah, and it's, I've gotten like, I've got 50,000 new followers. Wow. And it's, but it's insane to like,

I'm really into the insights to like watch it. Yeah. You can't see that. Wait, what's that? What's insights? I have it, but I insights to like watch it. Yeah, I'm What's that what's insights? I have it, but I've never gone on it It's like if you have a check mark. Do you have a check mark? Yeah, it's a little show obvious But it'll show you like when people are looking who what state should like that? You're break down of men versus women the ages the places On the right side right side. It's right here. See this? I'm obsessed. Yeah, that right.

It gives you insights. Oh no. And I've got an audience. I can't do it. I have 24,000 in this last week. That's why I don't. That's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't.

That's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. That's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't.

I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got an audience that's why I don't. I've got let's look at if I follow you. I can't do that it fucking kills me. I go to insight with a Fuck no, I'm not giving you my phone. You're out of your mind. I do want to hear all the stories You're all saying and I do feel bad about the fan. I am looking at the phone so much where my neck was hurting Yeah, my right my right time and I thought I go I have a tumor I can this girl looked at me she goes no you have a tech arm Tweeted about this, Christie Coffee, so I have to give her attention, but there was an MTV True Life a long time ago

before even these phones, but there was a girl and she was in high school and she was gonna play college volleyball, but she got to, not to rats, what is this carpal tunnel from texting so much and she wouldn't stop texting and she couldn't play volleyball in college because she wouldn't stop. And I remember watching it being like, what a psycho. And there was a mom texting and driving with the baby and I'm like these people

are terrible and now I'm fucking everywhere just on my phone. I talk to my therapist about it. I call it scrolling. I go I can't stop scrolling. What I'll do is I'll go from Instagram to Twitter to email to text from Instagram to Twitter to email the text. You have to fucking stop. You got to stop. No, you got a machine. It's a slot thing an alcoholic does when they can't stop drinking stop it One beer was never enough. I took Twitter. I know it's my problem. It's a problem. You don't shut up Listen God damn it She's like a fucking Twitter stream

Listen all you we have to stop Can I know we have listen no, can I show you an exit? Google trends Bobby's running Bobby's running oh my god. Oh my god. I gotta get a small space Bobby's running Bobby's running oh my god, oh my god, I gotta get a small space I would inch the story but I can I was hoping it wouldn't make it through past the bridge I got a small space he can't fit in

I don't know how I made it by the fridge. They thought a thunderstorm happened downstairs. I was like, what the fuck happened? Oh, I just knocked the soup off the stove of the kitchen. Listen, what is it? Google Trends. You ready for this? What is that? Let me just introduce you to the next big thing you're gonna love. Oh no.

Typing Google Trends, okay? Typing. This is not a... Oh, and it shows you how like how people, it is a direct connection to how you sell tickets and if people are googling you online. I don't do it. I don't want to even fucking do it.

No, it doesn't. Bobby's like, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. Typing Jared. Typing Jared. I don't want to see it.

Typing Jared. Typing Jared. Typing Jared. Typing Bert. Typing Bert. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see.

I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see.

I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. I don't go to 2004. And you can see my whole career. Past 12 months, see, see, past 12 months. Yeah, she's a fuckless. Go down and go to 2004 to present. Don't talk with you.

Why says, oh shit, that's my whole career. Now you want to put that in perspective, put in a bill, bur or Joe Rogan, and you'll see just how unsuccessful I am. If you do, compare, compare, compare. Compare, you can literally compare people. Oh, this is sick. This is bad. This is bad See I don't know this is sick. Wow, that's burr. Now if you put in patrises It goes way up and then it drops the fuck off. No, I'm just kidding. Okay, okay

Okay, I have the bad I Did you just Listening I just did a bomb and nobody said anything Literally like do the podcast with fucking children right now I should go to my fucking kids kindergarten class You're not paying attention. I'm gonna put her off. I'm looking for a computer. Why? No more computer.

No more Google trends. No more phones. We're gonna talk to each other right now. We're talking to each other. Your job's done for the day. Take a break. No, we're talking. Oh my god.

Oh my god. You see the sickness? I'm literally talking to a physician. Yeah, we see the sickness. It's right fucking the hair. Give me this moves. No more. No more Google trends.

This is sick. You're comparing yourself to other humans. You said. You just said. I do it. You just said that our generation doesn't do that to each other. We support each other.

That's the thing. We send it. But you're looking up going here. Oh, put Eric in his grandad. Well, are you on the grandad? He's amazing to me. She has a, like, it's crazy. And I hope Dolphins die.

He straws suck. Get me a real straw. Yeah, the straw sucks. It's like drinking out of a napkin. Oh, fucking dog. I want to say something else about the internet, but I don't want you to have a heart attack. God, you can say it.

This is pretty sick. Look at my finger. This is pretty sick, but are you going to keep doing it? I liked the challenge I also I post stories to see who watches it because I want the person I have a crush on to watch my ship And I like to see how high she is on the thing That's great that's the great is so I like to see that my crush and sometimes my ex look at my thing It's fucking listen. I'm gonna take my kids iPad away. You should I read idea Well, we've talked about the people all the tech people all the tech millionaire than vent this shit

They don't let their kids on it. What about this Bobby? What okay theoretically do you remember all the shit you got into as a kid I remember we lit a kid on fire I'm just saying like I'm just saying whatever all the dangerous shit you did. Yes playing with matches That's number one. Yes, Max will never get into that because he's got a fucking computer in front of him. No, no, no, no, no, I don't allow him to fucking sit on that.

I'd rather have him outside eating dirt, playing with bugs or doing something outside than I have a friend who's, you over the kids house, he's like this on the iPad. It doesn't talk, doesn't fucking socialize. He's just looking and he goes on YouTube kids, which should be legal by the way, because it's just these parents going,

look at this kids with that fucking voice, and kids sit there and watch other kids with their families, putting together toys and having candy, and it's like, dude, let's just go get a toy. Let's go and, that's why I bring my kid in the backyard and I'll build something with them. I'll do something with them. I'll find bugs with them.

I'll go take a fucking walk with them. This fucking shit that we're all on and we're all addicted to, even on the road. They fucking, we gotta tweet out the club. The club wants you to do this and this and everybody. And then you're gonna deal, not only with fucking tweeting all fucking day Instastoring all day all this fucking Facebook Twitter this five social media's then you're gonna go do this shit

And see how better fucking bill burrs doing than you I want if you never make it what if you wind up at a fucking trader Joe's Fucking best bag and groceries then that's what sucks about this fucking business either you're a star or your piece of shit Either you're fucking Right any Michael I'm so sorry about that I'm gonna do the other way that your star your pieces shit. I do want to say that I'm so much higher than him. I don't know

I'm so much higher than him. I don't know. I'm sharing, I was sharing illness with you guys. You gave it to him now. Now she's infected. You better not. You definitely just, you definitely. Look at me. I still don't look at it.

I better check Mark for a bit. You're gonna do it one more time. Do not fucking do this. I don't care. Do not ever go. Whose name? I mean, that's crazy. No, I was recently introduced to me.

I was recently talking to someone older and that's been doing comedy for a long time, but I was saying I was like, yeah, I just feel so cool and successful. He's like, you're not successfully yet, but in my brain, it's like, I'm living my dream life. I obviously would love more money, but. That's probably a more healthy way of living.

Can I say something about you? Can I say something about you? Yeah, I don't understand. Like, if you feel successful, if you're fine, people always say this, oh, they act like they're famous. How, so they have confidence, self-esteem, they believe in themselves,

and they don't take shit from people, that's somehow a reward you get when you become famous. What the fuck is that? Why can't you just have that now because you're happy in your life and who you are? Why do I have to become famous to somehow have some self-esteem? And then when you become famous, oh, they're fucking egotistical now, they think they're the shit. What the fuck is that? And it's all based on this shit. It's all based on the checkmark next to your fucking name, how many followers

you get, all that horse shit Yeah, that a whole life is based on fucking strangers Following you on some horse shit. Yeah, but that's it's not a horse shit And I'll only argue the other point friendly to you But I will say it's I like it be angry with me How else are you gonna pay your fucking bills like if I'm not aware of my social media posting stuff You and you were just in Vegas with boss and I enjoyed watching your Insta stories so much But I enjoy doing it. I enjoy doing it. I enjoy doing that if you enjoy like I swear I'm saying if you enjoy

Fucking doing it. Yeah, if you don't I don't like Twitter. I don't fucking tweet I'm not sitting there trying to think of fun fucking fucking goofy shit to say, but some people do it, and they love it, and they love doing it. And I don't even fucking. It can be, but I mean, how many people give me shit about the, you know, spraying myself with a fucking hose? It's the most annoying thing on the fucking internet.

I want to unfollow you almost every other way. Every fucking time I see him naked under a hose. I want to throw my house. I haven't seen it yet, and that, now you just gave me the sickness I go Mike bring it up he goes no It's no keyboard I broke the keyboard You know we got into this to do stupid shit like that, you know like these are all tools

Yeah, I gotta be funny. I got into comedy so I could throw a fucking keyboard across the room and have fun Yeah, I got into comedy to not wake up in the back I'm looking like a battered woman, but you're Yeah, I got into comedy to not wake up in the night. Stop looking like a battered woman when you're relaxed. I got into comedy to see Giggling. What? I just got into comedy to Giggling. I like Giggling. I like not waking up.

I like it not work. All this does is offer new platforms to do more stuff. Look at it. Watching you, watching your interesting story, you're non-stop. It's sickening. I just realized I don't follow you. It's okay.

Can you follow me too? Yeah, I think I do. I don't follow you. I don't know. But I have more fun on Instagram than any follow you. It's okay. It's it's it's you follow me too. Yeah, I think I do I don't follow you. I don't know but I have more fun on Instagram than anything like that that all a lot of other things I sit there on the inscript stories What I do the movie I do do do Do you know loneliness and you know it? I do know it But I also sit there watching a movie and I get to watch with I get to make fun of it and people go wow

It's this is hilarious and you're getting the same thing that you get out of doing standup and put it into TV shows. But here's the thing that I do recognize, when we were their age, this didn't exist. So I don't know, I might be, when I could be sureless, I might have been sureless,

hosting myself off, if it was around back when we were there. I also wanna say, I think I'm 31, I hosing myself off, if it was a round back when we were there. I also wanna say, I think I'm 31, I think we're the last generation to have grown up without technology and gotten it, because I never want to be after us already. That's very interesting. So we had both, I remember going to friends' houses

or knocking on a door and riding bikes. I remember that. I remember that. But here's a problem with it. Here's a problem with me with it. Please have lived in Mayberry. With this shit, right? There's even everybody's listening to this fucking shit

right now. Right now. And it's like, but people come to my show, not because they like it because they hate it. So it's like this. You have haters, fans? But every single person out there has haters, fans. Every Michael Jackson had haters prints had haters

It's mind boggling to me that there's people on this fucking earth that follow you to fucking hate bird Do there are people that leave comments on Every video I post everything I post on Instagram Explaining what a piece of shit liar I am because I'm not an athlete. I'm, you stop saying you're in shape, you're fat. I never called you an athlete. You're wife doesn't know anything. But do you think they're like trying to be on the joke?

No, no, no, no, no, they, they're people, they're crazy. They just, they, what happens is, they're addicted to this too. So they leave a hateful comment and then fans, people that like you will reply to that. And then if there's a ton of prize that goes to the top and then they become the top comment when people go in and then they get into fights and I think it's their feeding their sickness. They get hurt.

Yeah. You know, they go from lonely guy that just has no one that will follow them to people that they're talking to. I see these hunters. I watch these hunters now on on fucking YouTube. And even these guys, these men these men fucking men live enough to land Yeah, these are fucking men are on YouTube going listen man I understand the comments, but I eat to survive this this deer

It's like they get haters. They're answering these idiots too because because this is a guy that lives in the woods Yeah, still gets as a human you want to be liked because you feel like you're a good person. You know who you are. And when people misconstrued that and started saying shit that's not true to you because of something that they don't understand, you want them to understand you.

And even these men that fucking can hunt and kill sitting sitting there going man I understand that you know animals are but I eat this you know if I wasn't eating this I would understand where you shut the fuck up three responses for people right negative shit one one block and delete don't even respond to you okay three you forgot to like the post those are the only responses this is why I like this, this is why I love Jared. I'll tell you why. He, he is in it, a hundred percent. There's no, I know what you're talking to him.

Fuck you, like my shit, get my shit out there. Fuck off, I'll leave. But you know what it is, it's demeaning to the profession. What you're saying is that I didn't put the amount of time, the thought into it that I should put in as a Professional comedian to think of what the feedback will be that is negative. So I put this stuff out fully thinking, Oh, what are people gonna say that's bad about this? Who will this offend? Who will this be against? Right, and then I put it out as a pro to say this is what it is. And if you if you come back with your thing, that's you

as a pro to say this is what it is. And if you come back with your thing, that's you having something in your life that you're upset. You have to fucking just not give a shit. But you have to be as, here's the thing with me. I can't put something out there, just for it to be funny, because if it does get the consequences and I didn't believe it, and I was just saying it to be fucking funny, I'll feel like a piece of shit.

And I can't do what certain people, look what you do, I can never do it. I couldn't do it. Never do it. Burr, you just said I got into comedy to giggle. And I'm like, if you take this more serious than I do, you should just leave my page. I'm just like, goodbye, it doesn't matter to me.

I can't fight with people, I don't like it, it's like a confrontation. I don't know who you know that. I was joking when I threw the keyboard, I hope you know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for the camera and I just wrote as a joke I wrote, that's amazing how you could get it to sit still to take a picture. Like, and people who like destroyed me. And I was like, bro, not fucking funny.

That is his prize. And I was like, and by the way, I was like, I like this guy and I didn't wanna be starting beef. And so I just deleted my comment. And everyone's like, came to my page and like, where are you now, fuck boy? And I'm like, oh my god. I mean, can I ask you a question though? Can Can I ask you question though? That's a funny line

Yeah, that's so funny. What it's like with something like that It's like what the fuck they were problem, but where could I think be right? I think we're comics if you put it out there I mean are we gonna is everybody gonna like us? But it is the thing though, that we're actually seeing what are, if we could know the pulse of the world on our comedy, is that the thing we're seeing that we don't like? You know what I mean?

Those guys won't like you, Bert. Yeah. They never will, they never will. So why would you say, do you say I'm sorry, and delete it or do you go, amen? I just deleted it, I didn't want the hunter to see it and think what they were thinking. Just say Joe Rogan. No, I'm kidding. No, I would have texted. I said, what is up with this hunting? I don't know. I don't know a lot of hunters.

I don't realize all of you are so in the hunting. Can I say one thing? I've done like three jokes all bombed. You guys are just listening. I mean not even fucking I mean not even hearing The joke I showed you guys before but I was like I'm gonna post this but I looked at you guys I go Check it out. Is it funny? I said it was funny, and I go do you I go is it funny? And also are you like angered by it? And then That's also me saying okay two people are respect here we go You're two people that do this. And okay, goodbye. But funny with your-

I tell you all the time that I hate what you post. Yeah, but you'll be like, I don't like that. I'll be like, well, you took the- But I get it. It's always like- Funny's funny though. Funny's funny. Funny wins. Funny's funny, but funny can be unfunny to some people.

Yeah, but funny to you is this- For me, the hate that I get is the same shit people have been saying for my whole life, so it doesn't change. Like for women, for women. It's usually like you're fat ugly who are not funny. So it's like all right Except you're an alcoholic you're gonna die you're not gonna have a dad I got the war and you like him and just fucking leave me alone. I love this thing Oh, dude. I love you, but you dad your kids are not gonna have a dad It's like and then I go to the page. I'm like your wife is fat,, I love you. But your dad, your kids are not gonna have a dad. It's like, and then I go to their page, I'm like, your wife is fat too.

Yeah. Oh, your wife and you are both fat. That was one of the most important. I love you and then they say that, well, it's not even love. Because I want it. I have a rule, if you're gonna say something to me, you have to say, I love you at the end. Well, it has to be funny.

If you make me laugh and you say, I love you at the end, I'll leave any comment. It does, I've left some, I I left some fucked up shit on my feed because I went, I was a good one. But yeah, I'm just laughing, dude, because poor Mike's just sitting there with no keyboard. He has nothing to do now. I gotta go.

Right, well, I'm a little press. All right, buddy. Yeah, that might drive us a little. Say the name of your special. No, because I don't want anyone to leave any negative comments. It's so good, it's so good. I watch it. I watched it, man. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, you're gonna slam me. I watched it. You do I practice. No, the first the front listen, I watch a lot of specials on and I and I

We used to play this game. How long can you make it? Yeah, and I haven't made it through a lot of these fucking things. I'm telling you, Dude, fucking hilarious. The first story out of the gate from the second walk out there is fucking hilarious. You really killed it on this one, dude. This one was fucking great. Really, unfuckable, believable. The crowd was fucking great. They loved you.

It looked beautiful. So you gotta check out where the pressure's passing. And you're a big hit in the Russian community because of your jokes. That's so funny. I've heard that now a few times. Because I'm Russian and my sister because the answer as a Russian Joe too

So you to make the rounds in the Russian but this special bro this special was fucking great. Thank you I'll see you on the cruise Excuse me cow it's cruise. Oh, yes, I'm gonna be sober. I'm gonna be sober no moves. Oh good. Well, yeah, well folks The guys so rocktober. Yeah, he're going to count the crews in October. What's that? It's a cruise ship friend of ours. Cruise ship friend of ours. Number one radio good at in Tampa.

Mike Caldden has a cruise and he goes, we're both doing it. We're both doing comedy. So guys, exercise, suck each other off. He got it. Yeah. I love you guys. Third base, baby.

Following you guys now. Yeah, the best. I'm the best. He's. He's the best. He, Bert amazing. I can follow you guys now. Yeah, the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best.

I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best.

I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys.

I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. I gotta do this read help me with this read would you get my phone back? Yeah, he's so funny I

Checked on this one right do we do the first one? No, oh this is the first one. Yes I don't fast forward because we're gonna do a cute few their football season is here right now And how would you like to double your money? guaranteed is it guaranteed guaranteed? Well our friends at betteasie, which I made BETs with, I'm a member of now, are making that possible this football season when you register with promo code YKWD100. Use that code. Check this out.

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just right. Be in the to win and enjoy it. Well, come on. You guys do like football. I enjoy the games that much. No, but my master and Megan just started her job at the NFL today. Oh, well, well, well, shut your mind. Can I just read you what one of your fans just wrote to me on Instagram? Because we were just talking about it. You ruined YKWD today. Good job, whole. But he put I love you. Happy face, right?

No, good job. I get hold a lot on this podcast for sure. Yeah, I Puts better than what I guess it's my show I get fat fuck shut up Yeah, bad people all pretty bad holes not bad as fast fucking. It's unspecific. Yeah, it's not really I mean You do it. I mean you are ruining the show right now both the guys talking I mean, you do it. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole.

I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole.

I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you do it all the whole. I mean, you'm caught between two worlds. I'm caught between the old world We for all this shit and now I'm kind of sucked into it and and I am half of my body Like don't fuck this and the other half is like oh, this is fun like Instagram story I think I think having fun with it is like the biggest yeah You're fucking great at it dude. You actually make money off of you, you progress it. You know, I have like old school.

I just wanna get on a TV show. I wanna get on TV and act and do acting and make some money and maybe get a little popularity and do comedy enough to where people will show up. But it's like, you know, you need- People to show up. It's just like, I mean, there's a piece of me that sees like Instagram as an opportunity to like,

make your own TV show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. night on Netflix and everything I read about it was like fat shaming this is bullshit on feminist fat shaming watched it no one who watched it wrote a review like I can't believe that happened it is the most wild can't be good disgusting pedophile like it's so funny yeah it's a weird show you watch it I was what is it has nothing to do with the fact

that there's murder there's so much what is it show about it's a girl and she's fat in her life sucks. And then she gets punched by a homeless dude in the face. What, jaw wire shot? It turns super hot, but has a murderous spirit. And like, be friends this lawyer who's married to Lissa Milano and he's super gay. And like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Stop, stop, stop. Yeah. Sit on that and slow down. You're a little crazy today. I know. You let us settle down. Whatever drug you took before the show. Just coffee. All right, don't do that again.

Come on, Michelle. I know we didn't call for you. Yeah, you're a settle down. You're a little fucking whipped up today. I don't want to have to tell you to, I just want you to be here. I love you here. You know, I,

You know, I, No, I know. I'm not questioning your choices. No, I'm actually easy. I'm like, no, listen, this guy's got a point. No, I'm just because, you have to finish the sentence. I'm like, no, listen, this guy's got a point. No, I'm just because you have to finish the sentence. But there is some point where people bring up, I want to know you said that this girl was fat. God, just in the job from a homeless guy.

Had I have a kid? It's a wild show. Had to have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job.

I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job.

I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. I have a job. like this secret lesbian who has a crush on her. Everyone's fucking each other. There's all these comics in it, Sarah Colona, there's white trash elements, and everyone's fucking teens.

It's very John Waters, like so funny satire camp. And all people wrote about him is that shame. I'm dealing with something. Well, deal with it after. But everyone was talking about fat shaming. And I'm like, this show is amazing. It's the craziest show ever seen. This is the worst thing.

All your young comics come on the standout. I head off the whole time. And then you go back and fucking phone. Look at how she is. She looks like a mini-crisic ticket. I want to see why she was fat. Oh, the fat too wasn't even good, but fine now. Let me see the fat one.

She has, she's smoking hot. I mean, she's wildly hot. Oh, she was? Yeah. I know she is. She was an Annie, right? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, so she or Nick or whatever. Yeah, wow She looks like me. Oh, shit. I thought a bad fat so but there's lying and crazy. Well the rest of us in fat in it So she's wearing shorts and her legs look like her legs look great. I'm gonna go piss off a homeless guy

after the show today. But I mean this is like a very good example of like internet stuff where people are just shouting. They just want to be heard and they want to say, they see a girl in a hot girl in a fat suit and they go, this is shaming. You know, and you're like, what do you, you don't even know what you're talking about?

Why don't we gonna, why don't we gonna fucking say, fuck off? Why don't we just do your life? Yeah But why don't we go to, why don't we go to fucking say fuck off? Why not? No, you just do your life. Yeah, but no, but people, they listened corporate America listens to these people. Well, that's what they didn't listen. They didn't take down the show. They went ahead with it.

Yeah. And then, you know, and I love it. Yeah. Well, it's always something here that's like five years ago, it's like, Hey, they're not, no one's celebrating. It's a female lead. I actually feel like I'm not master to you when you get hotter. Like that is the true thing.

Who are you? The guy you was keyboarding through, and called the Peter Tratch earlier. I call you Peter Tratch? Yeah. Pointed at him. No, that was right now. I love him, my talks, it's just shocking.

I love left-hills. Yeah, she's not, it's like, huh? We get it, it's almost, if it wasn't the fat thing, it's like, how come she's not Asian? How come she's not trained? There's always something. There's always something. Did that always exist?

Was that always there we just didn't know about it? Or is that something that was created from this shit? Yes, but also. Brilliant question. But also. Brilliant question. The thing behind that question. The thing behind that question.

The thing behind that question. Am I in trouble or not? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. I talk too much. I'm not going to go ahead. But also, higher black leads that aren't playing stereotypical people. There are things that are like, yes, just higher people. What do you mean better? Like for TV shows and stuff. But I had this truck. Just do all open casting, like, why can't the lead? A hot, like, just let people fuck that look different.

Yeah, okay, but here's a deal. Now that they're casting minorities and women and all people have got great, but they seem to forget one thing. They're only casting the hottest best ones from those people, okay? So why don't you, if you look at, Is that the orange is the new black who changed it a lot of thing?

But here's a deal. They have women careers that would never have careers. Okay at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it,

If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it,

If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, If you look at it, percent of the people on that thing are fucking ugly. Okay? Ugly. I'm sure some of these people are ugly. They just have three layers of makeup on. Okay, but most of them are not ugly. You go to the CW. It's the finest of the fine work. It's, it's, it's, it's, they're trying to sell shit and hotter people sell more

things, but also, but that's because of what we think. It's also who's in charge. And then they'll put ugly people in and it's like, oh, I guess this will make money. So if it doesn't, it also makes you hotter. Yes. That's an American thing. I'm just saying. I'm just saying if the people in charge, it's an American thing. Need to be different too,

because it's the same people in charge you've been in charge forever. But people in charge are fucking ugly. Yeah. They're not, they're not. They're ugly people. I mean, most of us are fucking regular assholes. That's why it's annoying Lena Dunham gets hated on she was just like fat and ugly. It's like letter. Have her show

But why does she get hate not what though people are so mean to her What Is there a problem? He's eating almond butter from a table from a table spoon. He's dieting. I don't know. Let him live And this you're not supposed to eat up here. I can't eat a table spoon of table spilling he's dieting. I don't know, let him live in the snow. You're not supposed to eat up here. I can't eat a table spilling. I'm gonna pay about an hour and four minutes. No, two tables, one's done. I just can't believe you couldn't wait 30 more minutes

to run the show. You're not supposed to. I never know when the show ends. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I used to bird out of the fucking bus. No, I didn't mean that was wow No, I'm saying I pass anyways the day No, we're in just the new black was she didn't mean to it because she's kind of self-righted But people hated her from the beginning self-righteous. Here's the problem if you go on a body like him Just a regular girl and I'm just a regular body and here we are and then you get self-righteous about shit And you live fam fame get the head.

Then people like, you know what, go fuck yourself. Cause she not being- Yeah, but people said I go fuck yourself from day one. It was like put your clothes on. To lean a done, it was like put your clothes on. And it's like, no, I don't want to. I agree with you. I mean, some people did that.

I mean- You're a lot, she's also could have done some things awesome and then been stupid on other things. She was like 24 when this started, you know what I mean? I just think people are worse than her and she gets shit on all the time. She'd be kinda mad at me. I'd rather see regular people on TV a lot more. Sure.

I'd rather see the stuff that happened to that Cosby guy, the fact that these people reacted, and they do it with everybody, they do it with us. They'll do it with you guys. You guys are doing well right now. You're loving everything because everything's awesome. But if you want you to get fame and you're on TV and you're doing a bunch of shit and then it goes away, you're all of a sudden you're fucking nobody. You're a loser. Yeah. But it's unbelievable that this guy

was making ends meet in the acting world. If you're not getting gigs, you can't just quit. You have to subsidize. You have to get something else. I mean, you got a family, you can't just quit, you have to subsidize, you have to do something else. You got a family, you got to provide. Well, comedy is my fucking whole foods. Comedy right now, if TV came along, I'd rather be on TV than fucking going on the road. Yeah, but isn't the dream also once all the TV or whatever, then you can just always sell tickets. That's what I always think about.

Just get to a point where you can always sell tickets because all the other stuff can go away. Or like where you can produce it. Yeah, but I've done three times where I've sold tickets and then it went away. It's sold tickets and then it goes, you gotta keep in the limelight. You gotta keep, you know, in that thing.

Or you have to have a people, like a certain type that follows you and that's your, you are their people. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't have a people, you know't have a people, I'm out there. That's why it annoys me, sorry, I know I've been talking a lot, but that's when people are like,

athletes get millions of dollars, they don't do all these actors, and it's like you don't know the 15 years that went into it where you don't get paid. You don't know the practices and all that shit for athletes. They deserve all their millions. You don't know how hard it is to book a movie, get the fuck out of here. But it's like this guy got shit, people are like, oh they deserve all their millions. You know how hard it is to book a movie get the fuck out of here But it's like it's like this guy got shit

People like all look at him now like and even the people that posted it like the news people that like he's working at a What the why would you why would you make that fucking news? You know what's up now is there's no nuance to anything like it is To you know people seeing him working at a trader Joe's no one who works in in Hollywood or any entertainment industry wants to see that because it becomes about you not because you know personal you go well that could be me one day yeah and the people that are on the other side of her going you can work wherever you want and it's like I yes you know like you hear what he said what he said was the most interesting but he said because if you watch the interview he said? What he said was the most interesting thing. What did he say?

Because if you watch the interview, he does a minute where he goes, yeah, some people wouldn't even make a big deal out of me working there. And he goes, I wish they made it. And you watch, this interview is crazy because he admits, he's even in the interview saying, yeah, I wish, when people saw me, they should be like,

well, why are you here? Like, he even thought the people should say. But, but here's another interesting thing he said, is that he was like, I please don't give me work, because of this. He goes, if you have something that I'd be good in, I'd love the audition, but don't give it, I don't want work from this.

That's some manly shit right here. That's some self-awareness where someone's like, look, because you can go to Roots. You can say, yeah, it's fucked up what they did, and I'm just trying to do the best I can. And the work would fly the fucking for this guy. But it's interesting that like people are getting angry at this, I guess,

to me, I don't think there's that many people going, ha ha, look at you working at a trader, Joe's, as has been made out to be. I guarantee that what? Two guys, more people, even if they didn't say it, when you see that, you're, where, it's in us, because of Hollywood to go, you're where it's in us. Yes.

Because of Hollywood to go, oh. Absolutely. When you know when you say, oh, if he's outside with no home in a cup and no foot, having a job as a respect as a man, as a human being, as an adult, being smart enough to go, my family needs money, here's a job, a respectable, any job, and saying, hey, cool. I'll do that and I'll make money and hopefully get another gig someday

And I'm gonna keep trying when I'm saying is to say aw is human and natural it's human But it's not it shouldn't be because if if I said to you if you are only in this business Jared If you're working as a teacher or say you're working and stock market and I walked in one day and you were a teaching Kindergarten. I'm not gonna go. Oh, I'm gonna go. Oh you treat. But let's say you're a teacher from high school All of a sudden you saw your teacher from high school working on the weekend at trader Joe's I would look what's up. It wouldn't even affect me But I'm saying you would have a moment where you go, but they do that. I think it's because I was poor. Were you poor? I'm poor. Yeah, I was poor. I was poor.

You have a moment, I'm saying like, you know, that people are... It's a class thing, dude, and it's a fucking sickness that the fact that he's working at a great, first of all, trade of Joe's has benefits. Great benefits. It's a great company to work for. For him to work there is amazing.

But I was saying, oh. No, no, no, I'm not saying it. I'm saying, looking at it, I go, oh, that's like, that sucks that people would point him out and be like, look at it, you know, no, no, I'm not saying it. I'm saying looking at it, I go, oh, that's like, that sucks that people would point them out and be like, look at it, you know, how, you know, the people doing the look how pathetic this is, that's like the 1% of people. But even the people online that are going,

you can do any job you want. People are asking for humans to be more, to be better than they actually are online. And I'm saying online, you see this whole community. But that's the problem is you shouldn't even acknowledge it. He shouldn't be online. We shouldn't be talking about him. We just went and got a fucking job to pay bills and buy foods.

Totally. And that's what we're supposed to fucking do. This shit business that pretending at the highest level, or telling dick jokes for a living, is crazy that it exists. And this guy had it, he was successful, made some money, and now he's got a different jaw. But to the everyday Joe and Jim, that goes into Trader Joe's,

and Jane, sorry, sorry. I'm saying to any, the everyday person that goes into Trader Joe's has nothing to do with this. The Cosby Show is fucking huge to them. Anyone on the, to them, anyone on the Cosby Show is a multi, multi-millionaire, just because they're on TV. Oh yeah, because Che on his Instagram always fights with people and like writes opinions.

And he, he said someone wrote to him like, yeah, but he's been working if you check his IMDB, he's been doing shows consistently and he goes, yeah, that's $900 a day. They know what I'm saying. And you don't think how much, I guess, roll on TV. Yeah, but he went for making $250,000 in episode

to put $900 for a day of, let's just put it to perspective, please. Yes. $900 for a day of pretending at the highest level with a craft service table and a fucking umbrella over your head is amazing to the guy that is working flat stacking a young, a lovely young. That was at my point.

The point is when I was a kid watching TV. They're making $200 for a day of hard work. Most people in this country knows my point. Oh, okay. Not everything's your fucking point. Don't be on your fan side, you're feeling the fire. No, no, I love you. feeling the fire. I love you. First of all, I love you and fuck that guy for calling you a whole.

I have you on my podcast because I fucking love you. It's such an aggressive word for a role. I mean, he has a point today. He'll be a little holy. I was just as a kid when I watched TV, I'd be like, oh, you guys are so rich and then you get to know it and you're like, oh, it's not what you think it is, that's it. It's not exactly, it's not what you think it is.

And it's just a fucking job. But somehow we put people on these pedestals to eventually fall off. We're gonna take them all off. They all fall off. I mean, we don't want anyone getting too high Listen you right now good-looking young fucking dude that can shower topless and just Consisting are you showering with a shirt?

Consisting I have to my wife makes me Consistently consistent tan from the head down, right? But when you try to keep up the tan now when you're getting when you get older Do you even be able to run that game? It's gonna be a different game You're gonna have to figure out a different game got to evolve you got to go on Instagram and start putting up stories Also, I've read parents What does that have to do with anything? You might get money with later. No, that's not the kind of

I love that I love anywhere No, that's not the kind of I love anywhere Why does nothing to do with my direction in life? I mean to think that way well, I mean be To me a suicide of doing this. Why do you mean what do you mean like I you have you have rich parents? I have parents that have never had an issue. So I would say I mean I wouldn't I know Richard issue. So I would say, I mean, I mean, I would I know Richard. Do you have a rich man? No, of course, rich people know Richard people. I know everybody. But I can always to me. Well, as a father of Mercedes, what is your name?

There are still shoes on the way to trade his job at Trader Joe's. I bet they paid him full for the car. Well, they compared to shopping. You guys are still. Should be shopping. I love. I love you. I love you keep asking him questions and then you look at me. No, because this is my favorite game with Jared to play or the other people that are rich. It's like they deny it so much, but it's like, but you are just. I've never denied it ever. You did not. By saying there's richer people is crazy.

But I see people, you know what's interesting to me? I see people start commenting that I know have money. That won't admit it. That won't admit it. And I watched what they do. And I see people, you know what's interesting to me, the I see people who start comedy, that I know have money, that won't admit it, that won't admit it, and I watched what they do and how they act, and I'm like, they're not,

what you're saying is I see how they work, and they work thinking, well down the road, I got money. You know, I've never worked that way. So like, to me, like, I don't even think of those things. Well, that's why you're successful though, because I mean, Jerry, let's be honest. But you also worked before, but you never had any job during comedy. Once you started to do comedy, you did comedy. Well, I worked, I sold life insurance before. Yeah. And then you stopped and started to do comedy. I had like a, you know, yeah. All right. I love

these that you're really, I love it. You're law, you're law and ordering him and you keep looking at me like I'm the judge. No, but you've never had a job and then your parents paid for everything. No, I didn't say that. I said that as a joke. Just for college. You cock suckers.

Grandparents pay for college. Listen. Are you parents? They're rich, too? My parents never had a problem. They're ever- Your grandparents are rich. Are you from money?

His grandparents had those people living in their house. Had that. What? My shall think. Remember one thing about me that my grandparents had Asians remember last time? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, but here's the thing. I mean, I don't have money.

I never had money. And I do fear that. I do fear to not ever fear money is a superhero power. Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's a superhero power that people with money don't even realize they have, and they don't acknowledge it. But it's there, you never, the anxiety of having it all taken away

because you've been there before, or you've been there at a young age where there was nothing, and you never got anything, and it never came and anything you ever had, you kind of scraped together. And the success has always been gone and you've seen people struggle, struggle in your life is fear and anxiety that you can't get out of your life.

But Bobby, there's two, there's, there's, Listen, Rick, come on, I'm not done. I, this comes down to perspective though. You, yours rich is what you spend. Right. So I would meet with people all the time that we're making a million dollars at Goldman Sachs, okay? And you're going, they make a million dollars.

And you go, okay, well, what do you spend? Then they go through the house cost as much, the vacation cost as much. It's all relative. It's all relative. So like this guy, you know, from the Cosby show, he's got a life to keep up. Right.

The amount that he has to, just like you said, Ari knows his number. Everyone knows their number that makes them feel stressed out. Well, if you look at it, it's you, people would always say to me, like you look at like Bill or Louis, right? You look at these guys with all this money, right?

And then I'm like, well, I have the same exact shit that they have. I have a house, I have two cars, I have a boat, mine just should blow up. Where's the bubble? Are you blowing up? Is the blow up boat? Oh.

It's all relative. It's all relative. You know what I mean? My boat, I go out and I fish off of it. Same shit. It's just a five person blow up boat. But they're supposed to. Yeah.

Totally fine. I get the perspective of if you're making a million dollars, you obviously have higher tastes and you're spending more. But then the illusion of like, but there are people richer than me. It's like, go fuck yourself. You're making a million dollars, you obviously have higher tastes and you're spending more. But then the illusion of like, but there are people richer than me. It's like, go fuck yourself. You're making a million dollars a year. And going on tropical vacations that are to Italy for 15 grand, doesn't make you poor. But there are comics right now that have a wife, kid or a husband, kid, and family.

And they have to keep up a certain level of money from comedy. Yes. There's someone that would call themselves poor in Brooklyn with two roommates that the person with the family would look at and go, that's the luckiest fucking person in the world. You know, because they don't like their kids or? No, because they can put all their effort and they only have to make the $100 a day

to be able to stay in this. Sure, but you got to make choices if you want, like, go have a family. Well, maybe you made a choice where you're out of them from Cosby show Is if I was buying like if I was gonna get loot crate right if I was gonna get loot crate You'd have an easier time getting loot crate than me, but not with this ahead Everybody can get it. You know what Lou Crade is? Loot crate?

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Smiley pants. What do they call that? I was doing the Instagram story. We're not planning to do it. Don't we go over? We're doing down this route. Are you testing me today? No, sorry. Thank you I am what the fuck I'm doing it for the lucrative. I know, but you that's not the answer

You're supposed to help me right now. I'm starting me on a little bit Yeah, she's my daughter you out of your mind I can't stand you I'm a friend of the day. How's nothing to do with you? This is as good as me. This is as good as me. I can't stand you. I'm obsessed with you. Was it a question? Get off your phone. Now I'm kidding. This is only, I'm kidding.

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and I can admit that is, if I can, I got a house. You had parents. I did. It's always gonna be somebody with less. Yeah, that's fine, but to understand We're doing the ad All right, here's what I'm saying when you have all the money in the world and you don't have to worry about anything like you do

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and you go on a call you parents not you Go Defensiveness is enough to prove the point I the point. When I go to a collectible store. When they go, what do you guys, can I get some? Yeah, well, you know, I'll throw you a couple. Like a watch if there's a watch. I mean, maybe, you know, I just know that if I want to go to a fancy dinner and I call you, you're not going to go, I don't know, I can't go to a nice dinner. Hang on, look great. I got a whole great patch of $50 of value into each crate for less than $20 a month.

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No, my friends kids can't go to WWE matches anymore. Some older guys just like I don't I go. I gotta sit in the front and some kids in the fucking nosebleeds. Yeah. Well, my friends kid came over. I collect toys, I have a Homer Simpson from the episode Fat Homer, King size Homer. And he's in the Mumu and the Hat and the kid lost the Hat

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to save an exclusive 15% off your subscription YKWD right now go to LukeCrate.com slash YKWD promo code YKWD say 15% right now LukeCrate.com slash YKWD and we're bad This has been a weird show and I'll tell you why and it bugs me when people get mad when they listen to listen. I look at I've had you on a bunch of time you you I love because of you but you you he's him birds him on me we're all fucking lunatics.

You do a shit. Mike's and that and that and I'm kidding. Gabby's the fucking best Mike. I mean look so don't get you can't get mad at a podcast because no, of course I love it, but I Can't do that man because she was yapping to no, I just I'll I blew it up from one comment I'm honestly I do want to I guess say one thing that guy right now next week we're not gonna have these bitches on I don't want to think of that guy right now. Next week we're not gonna have these bitches on,

so come on back, it's all men. Less holes. Less holes, more dicks. I don't know what this topic's just done now, but I just feel like, you know, my parents paid for college huge. Also, when I was in Chicago doing comedy, I got to live with them.

I didn't have to pay rent. It makes it easier to do comedy. So just understanding certain things that you have in your life is, yeah. I don't know, that's a big defensive. I have five jobs. Who's being being defensive you are you do I know richer people it's like dude you're doing well you know I don't

there is a safety net I know that if something went crazy to say I do but to say the response of I know richer people isn't an admission of having money you're putting words in my mouth that aren't true only rich people would say that yeah absolutely so what are you talking about? You're saying that I have no realization of the luck I have in my life because I said there's richer people. No, because it's always like, but I worked hard and I did this and it's like everyone's like no one's saying that way from here.

I'm saying that I haven't worked hard. Well, I mean, I think everyone's working hard to it. It's like I don't think that there's like me. Fuck you. And I shed, you know, whatever. I don't know. I think everyone. I just have one really good friend. And this is my favorite one of my favorite moments with her.

Is it one moment she was like, I'm so broke. I don't know what I'm going to do. And not even two seconds later, she turned me on. Do you want to go to Vegas next week? And it's like, yeah, you think you're broke, but you want to go to Vegas next week? And it's like, yeah, you think you're broke, but you also can go to Vegas next week. And that's your brain. Well, some people, like, I know people

that if they go to Vegas for a week, get to save up for two years. And that's it. And that's it. And they can't. Vacation to most people is the summer. And you're backyard. And a built in a above ground pool.

And go one of the park. And you're in shit that the town put on for free. Most people have that. So when people you know what is that gross to you? It's horrifying. It's like being we're gonna trade our jobs. It sounds awful. We rode trips. I thought this was a comedy show. I'm like a horrifying person. I don't know. What a show-in to them. Look man, I'll tell you right now, and I hate to say it, but you work your ass off.

It's not even about that. But you work, you work like a poor person. Well, no, but I think anyone who does this that you come successful with, like Jared. And when I see people that, Jared, you look like a Mexican, no offense. You do. You work really hard.

It's not about that though. I'm saying that like... You know, when I joke, I can't fucking joke. You gotta go to a fucking... It's got monologue in it. Let me read my statement. Everybody here, you, here, you. Jared would like to read a statement.

I don't know. It's interesting what's going on because I do think like if someone with money tries to do stand-up comedy, it's like offensive to certain people I think, sometimes. Not offensive. Or it maddens them. I think it makes them mad. Like I think it does. It's mad. There's one comic I hate him so much and his whole thing always was like if you want

You got to work hard you got to work hard. It's like no your grandfather died You haven't paid rent in years you haven't had to work and your mom married a millionaire rich boss no My mom loved this whole guy, so it's this thing of like sure You're working so hard and hitting all these mics, but you also didn't have to work an eight to ten hour day He shouldn't be saying that of course, so he's like this dick, but that's what's annoying. It's not that like your rich. It's pretending that your parents don't pay

for yourself before you're doing this. If I was rich right now, if I was rich, I would not have to plug my dates coming up. I'm gonna be at the DC Drafthouse. That's a great room. I know, I love it. I only play rooms I like now. Look at my new website, everybody. We, go ahead. That's a great room. I know, I love it. I only play rooms I like now. Look at my new website, everybody.

Robert K. That's all. That's all. Nice. I like my new one. Now, go scroll up, scroll up. Look at that. Oh, there's Louis.

God, what a fucking nightmare. That was, huh? Look at me. I'm going to get back down to that fat. I want to get down to that fat. There it is. You were so good in that show. I like that episode when you went to jail, and you're all in that fat. There we go. It was so good in that show. I love that episode when you went to jail and you're all in that car.

Yeah. It was so fucking great. You were great. Yeah. That's so funny. That's so funny. Anyways, my poor people vacations were we would sign up to listen to time share meetings and so half the vacate like but then we would get a free.

Yeah, his family just bought the house. Yeah. I mean, who would do a time show? Is it Tatsushini? Is it Gettos? I do know some people that have one in the Bahamas and it's fine. If it's like a Lantis or something like that.

There's higher end ones. But down to the trips. I mean, you gotta stand that it is a weight off your shoulders, isn't it? Absolutely. Knowing that at any time, right? But everyone's got a big... Think about it, let me answer the question.

Let me answer the question. Absolutely, you have problems. Definitely problems. You have intimate issues. You have to get your eyebrows done. I mean, that's a fucking... I disagree. Look, I'm about intimacy or the eyebrows.

The eyebrows. I just think like it's... I would be doing this if I had a billion dollars. I'd be doing the same thing I do every day. Right, yeah. There's nothing that would change in my life. So, nothing. I would know. But a personal trainer would come to the house, you would not go to a newspaper camp.

Yeah, that's true. I would have my own thing. And you would have a chef. And you would have a pool on your roof. Yeah, absolutely. Those would be the deaf. It would be a gardener. Yeah, so you're not that rich.

Someone would be spraying me. No, for me, I'm not going. Yeah. So you're not that rich. Someone would be spraying me. No, for me, I'm not going to spray myself. No, you're totally right with the amount of money. Like, I used to just shop. If you need somebody to do that, I can pay me. I'll be that. Like, I used to shop at Forever 21, and that's where I would shop. And then when I made more money,

it was like, now I'm going to shop at Anthropology. But it's still the same. I'm buying the same things, but things just go. Have you ever bought anything at Walmart? Oh, yeah, I love a good Walmart. No, I've got it. Super Walmart, are you kidding me? Yeah, I have, but I don't.

What? What? I mean, I spit at all the people who work. I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm jealous. I'm just for being funny again. Yeah, let's say I'm laughing, I miss that. I just been trying to ruin his rich self-esteem. I just know I just what did you think about this shit

this week with with no I'm getting attacked from Louis. I have an opinion. What's your you do. You do. Lisa with an opinion. My big problem is you know a few I look a month ago or so I went up at the seller

and three men before me did me two jokes about how hard it is for men and fine, they won't give compliments and what, you can't even hug anymore. Everyone is complaining how hard it is for men and that sort of annoys me. He came out, there was a standing ovation, he's gonna get applause every time.

Most people don't think he did anything wrong. He can do a page show and sell out in a second. So my thing that's annoying is stop pretending that there are actual consequences to things. He can still do everything. Well, let me do the, what consequences did he do? No one was pretending.

No, hang on, hang on, hang on. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Let me ask a question before you answer a question that I didn't ask. No, you did. What do you think about him getting attacked? But my question was gonna be this, that didn't say it. What, you did. What do you think about him getting a task? But my question was going to be this. I didn't say that. What? You don't think that he had consequences? You don't think that it was.

I'm asking this seriously. I want you to think about this and answer it. Seriously. Yes. You don't think Louis had any consequences for, for. Let me let's just go over what he did. Yeah. There wasn't a rape. It wasn't. It was what he, what he did. Let's pretending if it was a rape, anything different would happen. He would go to jail. Bill Cosby's not in jail. Harvey Weinstein's still not in jail. Stop pretending, man, that if it was a quote unquote real rape, anything would happen.

Okay. But he would be convicted of rape, which is a lot different. We'll see. We'll see if Harvey goes to jail. Okay, we still, but he is, he is being convicted. But he's on pen. We'll see if anyone goes to jail. Okay, we still, but he is, he is being convicted. And Robin Poland, but he's on pen. We'll see if anyone goes to jail. But he is being convicted of it.

Are you comparing to, I just wanna, I'm not comparing. But you bring up rape and Louis, and I don't understand the, I don't understand. I don't understand that though. I'm saying what annoys me is all the dudes at the zone, all the comics saying like, oh my God, everything's been so hard for us.

And it's like, it actually hasn't. And he got a standing ovation. And these articles are going to go away. He can go back. Who's saying it's hard? Who's saying it's hard with the hashtag? I just said a month or so ago I went up at the VU and three dudes before me. I'm not exaggerating. But the person that you are trying to be funny or they, or you think they're

being specious. But it's the vibe. But are they trying to be funny? Now, are they trying to be funny or you think they're being specious? But it's the vibe. But are they trying to be funny? Now, are they trying to be funny? At the point of it, it's no. Or was it funny? No. None of it was funny.

Now. All right, so none of the jokes that they did were going to be. No, I got to go on and I got standing ovation, and that's a plot breaks because I was being actually funny. And like, kind of saying how stupid they were, no, the jokes didn't work. Right. Because the opinion is stupid. Like, as, like, as seeing the world, like

nothing is going to change and nothing. Most people don't think he did anything wrong. I think your opinion and what is happening is what's going to happen. And it's what's I think everything's changed. I think everything's changed. I think you're absolutely wrong. As a father of a young man, as a guy who's done stupid shit with women over his life, who's become a husband, who's actually evolved because of the strong women in my life, because of the women in my life in this business, and my wife, and my mom,

and her mom, and my sister, I don't have weak women in my life, I don't know these weak women you speak of, all the women in my life. So, what weak women are talking about? Well, people, women have speak of. All the women in my life. So what do you, what weak women, what's talking about? Well, people, you know, women have to be strong. All women are strong. Every woman I've met was strong to me and taught me something and evolved me. I have done fucked up shit. Now, because of what's happened with the Louis and the Cosby and the Me Too and how women are, the way I bring up my son is different. Okay.

So now the next generation... So do we have to sell any of his homes? The next generation. I'm wondering. The next generation, can I finish? Oh, you're just gonna go off on a tangent. It's not a tangent. Well, it is kind of because I'm trying to say something

and you're... I'm trying to give you an example of something that you brought up and it... You said it doesn't change, it's never gonna change and I'm telling you it is and you're just going on to the next subject, which is kind of ridiculous. It is changing.

I've changed. I was a misogynistic piece of shit. I've done shit that I shouldn't have did, and I regret. I've had women do stuff to me that wasn't good. The generation itself was fucked sexually. We weren't taught how what sex was. You weren't taught by a father or a movies or people. Women didn't teach men how to act. My mom wasn't there teaching me the birds and the bees and how to treat women. I learned from

television and other guys how to be. That's the wrong thing. My son has never heard the end word. My son has never heard gay people mean call fags. My son is gonna treat him with respect and I'm gonna teach him with my wife how to maneuver through this fucked up thing about sex and how to treat something. So if you don't think it's gonna change, that's where it's gonna change.

It's not gonna change right now because of one fucking dissident. You know, but then why are the the do complaining that it's so hard? Why is the initially straight? I have these conversations with men constantly and the conversations all the time are is about like, oh, I guess we can't compliment now

and every time I get a hug from a comic, it's like, is this appropriate? It's like, that's not the actual problem. The defense of this has happened. I think they're being funny. I really do. I think they're also not doing anything to like you are or what, to change anything.

They do feel like they are victims of that thing. Look, I can't talk now because I'm not in the game anymore. I'm not in there like trying to meet girls. I don't know what I'd be doing, but I know that with my wife, I wasn't, I wasn't appropriate with my wife the night I met her. Lisa, I didn't understand. But then it's like, it was a different time. It's like weak women where it's like, okay,

so, because there's this whole thing of like, it's not real rape and I've tried to make this analogy and I don't know if it's a good one, but it's like breaking your arm sucks, but if you break your pinky at her, it's like, what are you talking about? Well, I don't really think that Louis should be brought up with Harvey is my point.

I don't think it, most people I know don't think about it. I know, but the idea that if it was quote unquote a real rape that something would happen, the proof to that is not a Harvey is not in jail. But I just don't understand that. People that are raping are also not in jail. Okay. But instead of focusing on changing laws or the way cops treat sexual assault or volunteering at a domestic violence shelter

That's not happening with the dudes the complaint is oh god. What can I do now into the world's change? And it's like it hasn't even been a year since I think the comics you'll be able to do whatever joke you want to do Whether hang out whether it be a hashtag me to five comics guy comic you ought to do whatever the fuck they want Yeah, and the fact that somebody's gonna say oh you shouldn't shouldn't do the fuck you. I didn't say you should it, but I'm saying that's your point of view. That's what you decided to do a joke about. If they want it. Because you believe it.

Because if they think that's funny, it's fine. Of course, but you're saying that's what do you. But you're saying they do the jokes. I do jokes that I don't think are fact. I do jokes that I don't believe. Oh, that's, I do a joke once in a while that it's like, oh, that's just a funny line.

You know what I mean? I guess I don't do that. You don't. You go up, but you go up. You go up. But you go up and you tell, you say what you're thinking. And you do, you say whatever the fuck you want. And you don't give a fuck what people think of you.

Yeah, that's great. So, too, and you went up that night and said, fuck them and they're fucking stupid jokes. I didn't say fuck it did I was funny right okay Sorry me to's been so hard for you fellas, right, but it's funny, but I don't think Hashtag me to has been hard for guys. I think it's hard to know when you're going from okay How do I bring this up without sounding like that? If you when you right there was people back in day, black people couldn't use the same fountain.

There was a transition to where it could be done. The people that were transitioning that weren't racist, you know, that were like pro- every, but there was this middle group of people that didn't know what to fuck to do. They had to transition to like, oh, okay, come on up. It's like you transition. Life is different.

Women, you can't go up to a girl, on the first date pull you dick out anymore when I grew up That was it you that was fine. Yeah, but the only this it was fine But it nobody fucking but the only reason men care now is because their jobs might be affected or their heroes are being effective I don't think so I don't think so thousands of years of Misogyny and women be treated poorly why did mar Rape not become a crime till the 80s? You know what I mean? I don't think so. And don't actually altruistically

I don't care about women. At least the guys I talk to, I don't think so. Women have been telling you that we've been assaulted for years, decades, decades. Yeah, but listen. Nothing's changed until you're scared of losing a job. That's what's fucked up. I don't think so.

I think that when I became aware of living with a woman, when I became aware that being with somebody and committed to somebody, you kind of got to try to stay committed to them, when I became aware that sex, I was brought up fucked up sexually, when I became aware that the things that I was taught was wrong. When I learned what intimacy was, when I felt love for the first time for another human being, and all that shit changed me. So it had nothing to do with losing my job.

I don't even fuck about that. It had to do with another human being and giving a fuck about them. And that's what made me change being a piece of shit. It took a long time and a lot of understanding from other people. And you can't just say, okay, this happened. Now change, you have to help guys. Guys have to help each other.

I'm doing this the seventh grade though. I had a conversation with Ari Shafirabadi, he goes, well, dumping in all this mental together doesn't really work and it doesn't work. and it doesn't work and it's like, but nothing else has worked. I've been having this conversation since 7th grade. It is, it's changing. I just told you, my kid is not gonna fucking have this.

If you can, if, if, but no one thinks they're a bad guy either. I think I'm a bad guy. I know I'm a bad guy. I'm a, I'm a terrible guy. I'm a piece of shit. I mean, yeah, absolutely. I just so embarrassed.

It's just so, not embarrassed, but it's like annoying that women have to hold the hands of men so they understand that women are people and not fuckholes for their, like, it's crazy. We don't have to hold it. Nobody hold my hand. It was just insane. I'm just saying, I've been talking with men since

seventh grade about all that. You're going from holding somebody's hand to actually having, to working together as humans. I have been, but what I've noticed in my experience is that why isn't you holding like we're a little fucking tall? That's how I feel because every time I sit in every pot, you can go back un laughable and see what podcasts have been on. I have these discussions with men. Men oftentimes don't want to actually change. They're trying to find an exception to the rule, a place to prove me wrong. Who want about women do this?

No, I've never ever had a discussion with a man about gender, feminism, rape, culture, anything, where it's been like, wow, okay, it's always like, yeah, but what about this? And this is wrong, and I do this. It's never an open-hearted thing, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. You're not even acknowledging what I'm saying.

I am acknowledging it. Well, you've been up, you're just going on to the next thing. So you're saying that guys do that. You kind of just did that too. I said men are changing. Young men are changing the way they're brought up, the shows that they're watching, the things that are on TV. When I was on TV, it was Bugs Bunny,

violently hurting a coyote and porkeys and sex and playboy and pussy and and that's what you were brought up on. That doesn't exist anymore. There's family channels. There's also every cartoon. Yeah, but every cartoon is for a kid to learn. Everything is for a kid to be a better person. Kids are taught that you know we're all human beings. They watch TV and kind of everybody's on that. It's not just a cartoon, which is white kids. Everybody's on there.

They're growing up in a different generation. It's not gonna change because of a fucking Twitter, hashtag me, too, thing. Immediately overnight, it's going to take time, but it did change things. Women did change things. Personally, with me, okay? And I passed that on to the next generation.

And he's gonna pass it on. And if people work together, not as fucking men and women and right and left and fuck you, pick a side, if you understand that both things have, confused and need each other to work with each other, not fucking my sides right and fuck off, you have to fucking do that. things have confused and need each other to work with each other, not fucking my sides right and fuck off.

You have to fucking do that. And look, I understand, I understand that you guys go through, I understand it, but as a guy who's done stupid shit and fucked up shit, I wasn't doing it because I hated you or I thought women were bad. I was doing it because I didn't know any fucking better. And the people in my life that was supposed to teach me shit didn't.

I saw a fucked up shit. I was taught bad. Now it's time to teach good. Now it's time to... But first you have to acknowledge that there's a problem which you have done and you're doing something different with your child. But during this time, going online, talking to people,

they don't think there's a problem. They haven't addressed the actual issue. It's immediately like, they don't think there's a problem. They haven't addressed the actual issue. It's immediately like, you don't think he should ever be able to do stand-up again. And it's like, I don't know if I care so much. I care more about the premise of it being taken. Nobody cares if Louie should be able to do

whatever the fuck wants. And he's gonna, that's the thing. Do you think him going on stage is actually like a helpful thing? I think it's weird he didn't talk about it at all. Yeah, but here's the thing. Here's your problem. What do you do?

You may have to make a choice. What do you do? He made a choice. He could talk about it. He's fucked. If he does, and he's fucked. If he's down with Diane Sawyer. Yeah, but if he does that, he's fucked.

I absolutely like that. But if he does that, he's fucked too. There's no easy way. No, I think he should do that. I think he should sit down. But other people don't. What you think, you think that's the right way, but it's not.

Now he's gonna make that decision. Now you can take away the movies, you can take away the TV, you can take away the fame, you can take all the money's gone, but you know what, as a fucking comic, he can get on stage and do what he wants to do. I agree.

Now maybe he should have announced it, maybe he should have said, hey, I'm gonna do this, so that if people didn't wanna go. But also think about the story, the side of the story you know. And we know from being in the inner circle that no one else knows. So that's why there's this huge, controversial thing. But wouldn't it be a controversial thing if men were as mad about sexual assault as Louis

being able to do stand up again? That's the point. I don't think that men are not mad about sexual assault. But why aren't they in the streets? Why aren't they like, I don't think that men are not mad about sexual assault. But why aren't they on the streets? Why aren't they like, I don't see men comment. No one's like, no one's like fuck, Roe v. Wade might be taken away. Fuck, I should go to the women's march.

There's no men, there's no men. There's no men. I'm just saying, it's just not the majority. I think the majority of people don't want that to happen. And if they were, I mean, I'm just saying men online even let's just say Twitter making are more upset about Louis not being able to do stand-up again, which will never not happen Verse when they find out someone gets raped or someone gets jizzed on with loosely or like some weird thing happens or someone touches you and you're like Fuck I don't want to I don't think Louis should be a fucking topic of conversation.

I think what happened happened. He, all the shit was taken away. The people like fuck him, his shows, everything. Face taken off FX. Everybody walked away from all his friends. All the people that were close to him left him. The women in his life gone and he was left to deal with that. And now, you're right, that shouldn't be a topic.

So why is it? Why is him doing a comedy set of topic a year later? Why isn't, why aren't we just talking about those crazy topics that whoever got assaulted or rovers his way? Why aren't those the top? Because that's not what men care about. They care about it when you get upset again. I care about it, but that's not what's on my Twitter feed

when I wake up. That's not what I, I don't want CNN scroll. Doesn't come down and say, hey, here's an issue. A woman got assaulted or this happened or row. Oh, this is, it's, it's Louis and Horset. So, so you're commenting on what is put in front of you. You're right. Yeah, we're also living in this culture.

I mean, I'm comment, I mean, that's what that, I didn't make it a big deal. I knew Louis went on before anybody. And I didn't fucking, I didn't, I said, good, cool, whatever. I moved on. I had to go fucking put my kid in bed. That's what I can't, I had to put him in bed.

You're also a very empathetic person. Don't ever fucking call me that. I don't care you. It's true. You're very open and empathetic person. Don't ever fucking call me that. I'll tell you. It's true, like you're very open and listen and ready to learn and that's not everyone. That's not even close to the point. You can't, that's not an excuse. You have to, you have to change. I really, you do the work.

You fucking get your guys together. I am. I really, I am. I got, hang on a second. That's great. You do. I am doing that. I am my gut. Hang on a second. That's great. You do talk about it a lot. I am doing that. And the one guy that really matters that's going to be in around 50 years is the little guy

I'm raising. You understand? That's how long change takes. I know you want it right now. I know you want everything to flip a switch and have men act the way they should. I just want to have to argue with men that I thought were my friends and understood shit and having to convince them that I'm and you know what the hell is that?

That's part of it. You hate it, but that's part of it. I don't want to have this conversation with you. I want to just have fun, but you're my friend. And that's what we should do. We should argue and talk and yell at each other. And when we're done, fucking hug, because you might not affect somebody today.

You, these guys calling you a whole might not hear it right now, but in a couple days, or when they have a kid, or when they meet a girl and fall in love, and they have intimacy, and then they might, something might ring true, something might change in them. It might not happen.

It's not flipping a fucking switch, and everybody treats everybody the way it should be. You understand? But then what's frustrating for me is seeing the denial of the problem. It's like, you got, that's what it's all around me. It's like, there isn't an issue. Like most guys want to say that there isn't an actual issue.

It's, here's the thing. I've been with girls that have been very sexual, right? Sexual that done shit, took my dick out, I didn't even ask. They took it out and started like, oh, I've had girls being married, try to do shit. Yeah. All right, so as humans, I think had girls being married try to do shit. Yeah. All right. So as humans, I think we're a little fucking weird on this sex thing. Yes.

Now, I think so. Can you slut shame? Is it slut shaming? Is it bad? Can mountain men be slut? There's so many, there's so many things you could discuss on this. And it comes down to what is right, what is wrong? Some people think gay sex is a fucking abomination. Some people think anal sex is a sin yeah there's a million different

things and you can sit there and scream at each other and fuck off and this and you're wrong and I'm right and fuck and women and men and but the reality of it is it's only really a sin if it's done at a time share um because that's disgusting I just I do, I mean, I went to like a Miss Foundation thing in Ava DuVerny. The director was one of the speakers. And she's got something and it was directed for like black women, I feel, but it just rang true where it's like, what

happens with this patriarchy and this, all this stuff is, they keep us busy talking about all this shit, trying to convince you where people, it's like, we spend so much time having to deal with convincing, like dealing with feminism. That's why we're not creating. So part of me is, fuck you, I'm busy. I'm gonna go make my shit. I'm gonna do my stand up. I don't wanna have to teach you.

I'm done. But I'm not, and I do it all the time and I talk all the time. But it's a policy. You're not by being you. You just keep, you keep people down talking about all the races and all the shit, not you, but the collective kind of society. And we're too busy dealing with that. Or poor people are too busy dealing with how to make fun.

Yeah, but don't you see that, but that's what they want us to, they want people to divide, they want people to pick a side. And it doesn't matter. I mean, it doesn't fuck me out of it. I mean, to me the biggest win is you going on stage and being like, can you fucking, and like doing the joke about it. Yeah, I'm, I'm like, and you fucking and like doing the joke about it? Yeah, I'm doing the joke night this week.

We'll see. But to do the joke about the guys that went up and talked about the me too thing, like to the idea of like not being able to hug like like we've heard that so many times now that you're like, and then the audience is like, well, the fresh air. It's also like we as women know the difference between a fucking hug and you being a fucking creep. Yeah, but it's weird for me because I have that joke on my head where it's like I have to teach my son something

other than what I was taught. Because I literally, I have that joke on my head. I took my dick out on the first date and my wife was like, no, I went, come on. I mean, that's a hashtag me too. And that's the woman I found love with. And it took years. I mean, that's a hashtag me too. And that's the woman I found love with. And it took years. I mean, it was just a different time.

It was a different era. You can't do that anymore. You also can. But to say you could never do it is a little crazy because my wife sucked my dick on a rock for an ice cream on our first date. The mother of my child. You're acting, I don't wanna my dick on a rock for an ice cream. On our first date, that was the exchange. The mother of my child.

You're acting, I don't want to do say no. How are you holding the ice cream out here? It's like, and Matt, I scream and dick in the other hand. No, no, no, I just put my dick in the ice cream. What do you do? I'll ask the question. Do dudes feel like victims because they can't loosely take out at work?

Like that's the thing. It's like, that's retarded, that's it. I mean, if a guy said that, I'm gonna go do your mentally ill. Here's a deal. It's hard to make out at work. That's the thing. No, no, no. It's retarded, that's it. I mean, if a guy said that, I'm gonna go do your mentally ill. Here's a deal. It's hard for me because I'm not in the game anymore. I can't, I don't know, young single dudes are doing anymore, but I do know the game's different.

You have to be a little more delicate. You have to, like the first second base, third base. That is there for a reason. That's to as humans, not take advantage of each other. That's what it is. That's as humans to say, hey, you talk, and then you get a little closer, and then you get a little closer, and then you kiss.

And then if someone says, hey, I'm actually not into this anymore, you're supposed to stop. Yeah, you walk away. But then there's a little bit. Unless it's 2000, I mean, it's is 1995 and you're on a rock with Dawn Weatherby and you pull your dick out and she says no listen, it was a different time. It was a different thing I wish I did I don't I don't wish I did everything different I just didn't know what was going on that was my move make out take a beating out

Hopefully she touches it, but if my wife said, put that away right now, I would, to keep going af, to keep going, if a woman says no, is ridiculous to me. I mean, it's nuts. You have a people are on TV on national television arguing that, well, if you're already in a braampant and you dress that way, that means you want to fuck. It's like, it people, that's everywhere.

It was Reverend and Ty Wre's on Amber Rose's show. I mean, it was like, if you dress, if you dress one, like Amber Rose was saying, she like, if I am naked in your bed and at a certain point, I'm like, I don't want to do this. You should be okay with that. And Rev Run and Tyree's are like,

if you're putting yourself in that position and you're acting like that and you dress like that, that's what you get. And they have kids too. And they're raising and they're kids like that. But there's a butt. Listen, what are you gonna say, my man? And I say to the congregation,

if you bring your titties in my bed. I shall be watching your titties. If I see you in red panties, that's the devil's panties. They must come off. I cannot control this serpent. Now you take the body of Christ. I mean, I remember when like the Ben Ralfas burger thing, you were with him, and then I have him. People said that about that girl that she was like wearing a low cut. And I was

like, we're we're I think what the biggest I got gotta assume, and you can say yes or no, Lisa, that it's gotta be frustrating that every conversation about this becomes about, don't, it gets muddled in the conversation it shouldn't be about. Like, to talk about, if Louie's in the same camp as Harvey Weinstein, okay, yeah, we've done that. You know, like, that to me is like,

all right, he did something bad. Let's just agree on that. You know, like, so what's the process for healing? Like what's the process for the bad? But you can't heal if you say, fuck him for life. That's what I'm, but that's the problem. I just don't know what he did. But that's where God, that's what people have pissed about this

is because you're persecuting somebody for life. They don't, you shouldn't be allowed to do quality. Obviously not, he's not persecuting for life. He went on stage. He's already been there. No, no, he did it, but now they don't want him to fuck you. It's not enough. Well, that's what you will.

The conversation can't be just fuck you, fuck you. It has to be, well, that's also what it is. I was also wondering what he's done. I wonder if he like donated to something or went to say, you know, some fair- That's where the Diane Sawyer interview makes sense. I wonder if he did anything or I wonder if he's been sitting, like I'm not his friend.

I wonder if he's been a lot of hanging on one second. But you don't know if he didn't. That's what it is. So by saying that in that little way, you're saying it, I don't know what he did. No, but you're saying it, like he's done nothing. If he did, he'd probably let us know. But you're saying it, like he's done.

You can't, that's the little nuances that I don't like, huh? Okay. I swear to God, I don't like when people throw shit out into ether like he didn't do anything. Because now people are going, he didn't do shit. I wonder if he did. But you don't know if he didn't. So hold. I don't know anything.

That's something you kind of go, I don't know. So why bring it up? Because you don't know yet. Why bring it up? Because that's the forever thing you keep saying. But they're saying. And we have evidence that it's not going to be forever. But he's saying, but there's a lot of people

asking for right now. They're going, okay, we'll give us tangible evidence that you've made some attempt. Didn't he already do that though before the accusations came out? Like, wasn't he already giving roles to, I'm not trying to say anything wrong with that. You're talking about something 15 years ago that happened

and you're talking about a guy who gave women, women. Most guys, when they hit big, you know who they give roles to their buddies. Look at it statistically. Guys who become huge, let's go fellas, get the team together. He went and gave a woman head production of his company, Pam Adlon.

Show, Pam Adlon, okay. The Blair, top, he gave women you hang on you Judy gold women who weren't getting jobs. What's your name? What's the other one? TIG the other one who's the other girl Adrian Apollucci all these this guy said not all my fellow Let's let's go everybody took them all all of us as comics, but a lot of women. Yeah. And he was around strong women, Blair, Pam, those women are not to be trifled with, okay?

Strong women, you, all these women in this show. I mean, that's why I'm in this show. Maybe you don't know, maybe he did change. Because what you're talking about was years ago, not the guy who has daughters and is the guy now. So we don't know what happened if he did change. What happened? Cause it seems like he wasn't doing it now.

I've been working with him more than I may. We've talked about that it was one of the best experiences of my life. Yeah. That's why it's just like, that's why it's all confusing. So let me ask you one question. Seriously, as a woman. Yeah.

Now he was like, this is, this is, I'm just confusing. So let me ask you one question. Seriously, as a woman, now he was, this is, this is, I'm just asking. Yeah. I wanna hear a lie. He was accused of asking to jerk off in front of girls, correct? And then I think to some of the other things were at work, he was jerking off.

Now there was one girl on a set, and he said, could I, she said no, he apologized. He had to go to, right, okay, so we had to, but, but he had to go to some thing for that. Right. Yeah. So we paid for that already. Okay. So he, he dealt with that, but he, and then the, but anybody he asked, right?

He asked and they said, yes. And he did. And they left. And then he asked and they said, no. And he didn't, right? I mean, right? He asked and they said, yes or no. right. I mean right. He asked and they said yes or no correct. Yeah. Okay. The only other. So I want to know what was the now. I'm not asking to be

facetious. I'm not setting you up because I'm asking you what was done wrong. So I'll give you I don't know if the Sanit don't answer this in any way, but when I got the jobs to work with Louis, the first question every single person asked me, was what are you gonna do if he takes his dick out? No one asked who's on it, what is it, what network, how much money, not one question, what character? The first question. So for me, I'm like a pervert, right?

So I was like, I'll be into it, I don't care. I'll totally be into it. Really? Yeah, I was like, I'd fuck him right there. So for me, I was like, I don't care. So I'm gonna go into it. But it is fucked up that a woman would have to be like, I'm not comfortable going in for that,

because what if that happens, and I don't wanna do that. So just a fucked up situation, because one of the things was like, he was on the phone and he was jerking off. But if you're out work. But she was jerking off too. I don't know, I just read the article. Okay.

You know him. But no, I read the article too. Same article, I have. But I read the article. Okay. You know him. But no, I read the, I read the article to say, Marvel, but I read the article too. But that's what I'm saying is like, I don't understand. So for me, it's just like, whim, like what? So he, if he said, if he started jerking off, you would have fucked them. Is that what you said? I would have been very into it. You would have been into it. That's why I went. I went to the house. In my head, I thought he's going to take his dick out. That's the question. But the person who asked you that wasn't a production assistant,

it was other comic just asking you, right? I have other friends. Yeah, I like that. Okay, so it wasn't part of the job interview, it was what I mean. But there's guy, but there's- No, but isn't it crazy that he offered it to another woman who that happened to her or whatever,

she's like, oh, doesn't he take his dick out? I'm not gonna do that. But that person doesn't know. That person was just saying something from somebody else, somebody else, somebody else. But it's a constant all the time. And that's where women miss out on opportunities. But did that person know that what? That he really't know. That person was just saying something from somebody else, from somebody else, from somebody else. Constinal, the time, and that's where women miss out on opportunities. But did that person know that he really did that?

I know for, I, the person that said it to you, were they talking about fact that they knew? No, everyone, the question was, what will you do if he takes his dick out? Right, right. I'm just wondering if they do. Am I thinking, and I don't know this, because I like I said, I had a great time working with him is,

if he's doing that at work, what's he doing at home? There's like this one bouncer who's throwing women out and grabbing them and being so rough with them. At this bar, just like a random bar. And it's like, if he's doing that at work with cameras and he's not getting in trouble, what the fuck is he doing on his own time? But I don't, but that,

but first of all, what he's doing on his own time. At work. But it's not at work. There was one time on the set of a sitcom, correct? I mean, out of my mind that people talk about sex, they were talking sexual, talking sexual, that is a green light, right? And someone's talking sex and you're being sexual

and then you go, hey, can I do this? And they go, fuck no, and you go, oh, I'm sorry. I mean, is that is that protocol is that he was talking sexual every time he whipped his dick out. And that situation at work I mean the thing the thing that happened was the right thing to happen is that work. Yeah. She went to but essentially was HR trouble. Yeah he got trouble. And then he had to go to you know pay for like the rehab was. But when the comics came back to his room after the show they were talking sexual or they're like,

I heard they were talking sex before that all week long. But like comics or like they were actually, because Ari Shafir and I talked about this too. And he was like, what do you mean? What's the, how are you supposed to defer? If you're a guy and if me and you were in a room and you started talking about my dick or sexual stuff, what was it like a group green room

we're talking about sex or what? I wish if you brought this up to the side. I don't know, I'm just like, if you wouldn't come to my hotel room, I go, you're crazy, Ari, if we were at Montreal and we were gonna go smoke weed in your room, even if we talked about fucking all day long, I would never imagine that you would take your dick out.

But what if I said, can I take my dick out? Their whole thing was there like, show me out. But what if I said, can I take my dick out? Can I do this? And what would you say? I would say no. Okay yeah. But what if I said, can I take my deck out? Can I do this? And what would you say? I would say no. Okay, and then what you expect? That you wouldn't?

Okay, great. And what if you said, yeah. What if you said, yeah, what would you say? I would say, yeah, because I thought you were kidding. Because I think that was the vibe. Okay, okay. Yeah, sure, take your deck out. And then you did, and you started jerking off,

I would be into it. But we keep going over that. I think you just got the guy who called you a hole I think he's a back-end of it now but not if it was Ari it was already I would go Ari what the fuck please stop it and if he didn't stop until he came that would be an issue but that's but that's not what happened he didn't he didn't keep coming he didn't come see that little new want you just added didn't happen but but but who listen to this are gonna say he came. But I don't think anyone knows what happened.

They do, it's in the fucking article. But didn't the girls also say it? But the real story. But I'm also saying like, okay, I understand what's happening to Louis and I understand all this nuance and all these different things and what I expect everything. But all I'm saying is no one knows who these girls are. Everyone's sending them death threats.

Like everybody's getting death threats I know but we're gonna get death threats from this. Oh, I'm gonna get the hole I'm gonna get death threats the fact of the matter is all of these women will be fucked over more than Louis and the long run ever Well, I don't know I don't think so. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't think so it happens time and time again And it's been happening for decades and until Harvey is in jail I will not, I will not allow someone to tell me things are changing. And actually, if it was rape, something would happen. Like people are constantly abused, constantly raped, and nothing happens.

Can I ask you this? I mean, I'm being, my water is being raped by this thirsty fucking, this guy has a real water change. This guy is, this guy is, it's crazy. He's amazing. And another thing, if you're doing Me Too jokes, and women don't like what you're saying, they're allowed to not laugh. They're not ruining quality. I'm seriously fucking this guy has a real water chair. This guy is crazy. He's crazy. He's amazing. And another thing, if you're are doing Me Too jokes, and women don't like what you're saying,

they're allowed to not laugh. They're not ruining college. No, you're allowed to PC police. You're allowed to not laugh. But you're not allowed to say shit. Yeah. You're not allowed to fucking talk. You don't get to go to comedy club and say whatever the fuck.

This is not a dialogue. Yeah, but if you don't like it, you get to fuck out and go home. That's different. You don't laugh, but you know, but the newer times are an article of like women angry women are ruining comedy It's like they get to not laugh at your dumb shit. Yeah, they get to not laugh But they can also leave too. You can't just

I'm here at the seller. There's five comics. Oh three men in a row talking about homey-two's not real and how hard it is for men Who are you? Tell me who these guys were after I remember one. I remember the date because my friends came You remember one like remember the date because my friends came you remember one Like there's a very fine I love so much and then in the past all in Quinn and the past And then the past couple months he's disappointed me multiple times It's not just that way, but in other opinions and other moments where I'm like you're honestly one of my favorite dudes But why don't you tell them that you say how this joke is

I know and there was another moment and I will But if you said dude this joke like I've had people come up to me go that fucking joke dude And I'm like, ah, you know what? I was thinking that I didn't know it's like a diss it's just disappointing. It's just like sucks when you Life is hard life is hard. I you know life is hard. Being friends with people is hard. Really, being married is fucking, being married and being friends with people and having people in your life, really is the hardest thing

I've ever done. When I disconnected, when I used to do drugs, it was so easy to live life. But to actually be present is fucking the most difficult thing ever. Yeah. Because I have to always worry about me first and understand where I'm coming from. And then I have to listen to other people.

Even when I don't, we even want to agree with them. Yeah. Because I might not agree with you now, but I might, you might make sense to me later. And I can't just fucking say fuck you. Whatever you say is bullshit. I have to absorb it. And you have to do the same. Yeah, I just want to add one more thing because it's in the discussion. I hope with your day. In the article. No, I so in the article, it's that he like messaged and apologized to someone. Yeah, and then it's not his responsibility, but this has been out in the world for like you said 15 years. This truth teller, he apologized to someone. He knew he did something wrong.

Why all the time he was asked about it and all those moments, he never said anything. Because maybe, okay, maybe this is... Because I wonder if he did. You want to answer? You asked me. He would, I just like, it happened in this right moment of the meeting. No. And I wonder if he just came ahead of him and was like, five years prior and was like,

I did something fucked up and actually talked about it. I wonder. It would have been better for him. Like he knew he did something wrong. That's the thing. I don't know. I can't answer that. I can't answer that.

I think you said he did apologize. Yeah, like he said, I'm not supposed to do that. Let me ask you question. So he apologized. So when you, if I did something to you, yeah, me and you were hanging out, and I did something to you, and then I sent you an apology.

What else am I supposed to do after that? Well, people say his apologies are not a apology, that was a... Okay, well, I'm asking you. Well, not even that one, I'm saying it in the article. It's a deal. But what else would you want me to do? I'm asking, I'm not setting you up, I'm asking.

What would you want me to do? I don't know, like you said, it starts so big, and Ari asked me the same thing when we talked about it, and it's just like, what it all stems from men seeing women as equal partners in this life together and they don't and we don't We don't have all of society. I mean, it's hard to do it because And you have a badass wife and I know men that like want a partner and Mary, but she had to be But you know, you understand what she had to put up with she She, if it wasn't for her, how, when I, you understand, when I got caught being a piece of shit, she said to me, I got to go, I got to go.

And I, and if you, if you're going to get help, if you're going to try, I'll stay. And I said, wait, let me, I should have said absolutely Oh, and I said give me two days give me a few days because I didn't want to lie to her again I didn't want to be like you know, I don't know. I don't fucking know and I and I went and I asked all my friends And I you know couple everybody said just let her go let her go let her go dude. You're a piece of shit You're a hunk of shit dude. You're garbage Just let her go. Except for one dude. One dude said try. Just try to change, try to change. And if six months, eight months, you can't let her go,

at least you tried. If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. And I listened to that one guy. And I wasn't perfect overnight. I haven't been perfect in 20 years. But she was there for me and we had an understanding that I was fucking fucked. I was brought up fucked.

I just, it's not me, my anger, my this, my fear, my anxiety, my relationship with women, I was taught. I wasn't, it's not in me, it's given to me. Racism, racism isn't in you. It's given to you. All that shit's given to you. And I had to untangle which I still am. This fucking web of shit that was given to me. I didn't ask for it. I don't understand why I think the way I do. I don't understand why I do it. Why sexually, what the fuck is this? Am I gay, am I not gay? Do I love my wife?

Do I not lover? Am I lying? Am I telling the truth? I don't know. I constantly have to evaluate myself. I constantly have to listen to people and try to evolve with better people, people from a spiritual place.

I have to constantly listen to people that I don't know if I like what they're saying But absorb it and filter it through other things. I have to go to therapy I have to have people better than me in my life and I'm 40 fucking seven. I'm almost done and I'm still doing it so To throw me out to say fucking these a piece of shit Massage in this thick hate women hate a fucking idiot would have been a shame So to throw me out to say fuck him, he's a piece of shit massaging this thick hate women hate a fucking idiot would have been a shame

because when I'm gonna give my kid and the time I spent with my wife and the way I am, the way we are together, would have been a shame. You know what I'm saying? So I'm just saying that we're all human beings, we're all fucked up, we're not at heart mean people to each other.

It's because of whatever the fuck it is. And I have to think that Louis hasn't learned. I know Louis and you know Louis. And I believe that Louis has learned from this. I believe that Louis has two daughters and he is a beautiful father. One of the reasons I had Max was because of Louis because I saw the way he was with his daughters and I saw what he, how he was raising them. Two beautiful human beings. And it's not a guy girl thing with me. To me, it's, it really comes down to a human being thing. I know that I'm supposed women of this and men of that and blacks and what,

I'm a human being, number one, I don't have a side. I can listen to you and you make a lot of sense to me on some things and something you don't. I'm no one have to hate you for it. And I'm not, I love having you in my life. Me and you should not be friends, because I'm from Boston, fucking clock, sack, and mouth, and fuck, but I love you.

And we've always liked each other because we're beyond that. We're beyond the bullshit Spiritually and mentally we're all I shouldn't be friends with it. We're friends. We're beyond it You know what I'm saying? And I think you need to do that. We need to you know I shouldn't be friends with a fucking nerdy Mexican from you know what I mean? Or fucking blonde, I mean, but we're beyond that and that's what we need to do. And I just, I understand it, but we shouldn't fucking hate each other over it. I don't hate anyone. I understand everything you say and I love you, Bobby, and it's also good, but it's like

the consequences to men having to learn that women are people are awful. Yeah, well, and so it's like if dudes can just then like are these black people say the same thing about white people Yes, and some of those white people will women a 100% But actually the election I had to realize that I admit all the shit that I've been doing No, but you should do But I mean you gotta be you will work with you you evolve you did it yes yes so let them fucking do it help them do it yes but someone helped you they don't want to that's not true

I am sitting downstairs arguing with all the you bitches need to get them kidding I'm kidding it always it always starts off as an argument it always ends with five people trying to prove me wrong. To shit, that's crazy. Listen, you don't, listen, where you're at right now is where you're at. I'm not gonna deny where you're at. I'm not gonna take that away from you or try to. You can be where you're at mentally with this stuff,

but what I'm saying is that you have to understand that you have, are you getting another water? I got to get ready, yes. Oh my god. Listen, what I'm saying is. It's just fuck that dudes want all this courtesy and all this understanding for their stuff. another water. Goddamn right is. Oh my god listen what I'm saying is just fuck that dudes want all this courtesy and all this understanding for their stuff and it's like women are being raped and assaulting. Nobody wants nobody

wants nobody wants to be held by the hand. You just you know you have to understand that things are things are changing things have changed they have I remember I don't know how old you were doing clearance Thomas thing happened I was really young. Okay, it was totally different for women in the workplace at that point Like my mom talking about that like like before you charge But he's still on the supreme court you can't you take it off But I mean you could still look good. It wasn't until like that time I openly harass women at work like you guys do it

You can just do it Not as open as you could you'd be way worse as much as I used to be way worse Now you got to keep it on the down listen and chase your listen these kind of say I'm saying this can't believe Bobby just came out of the closet Just the thoughts Hey, Lizzo, I just want to talk to you after the show. You got to be there. There's a shower scene. What about my fucking photo? It was just you taking, posing yourself off

those the only photos I had. This isn't really, this isn't really good example. And I don't want to come off like I think I'm some big hero or anyway. But when I hang out with my black friends and they say shit like white people suck or white people out of the devil or white women are the worst, I never go but what about me?

Because that's not what it's about. They wouldn't hang out with me if they thought I was shaking. I'm a fucking dude's constantly like well it's not me actually and it's like no white women is a collective we sucked we let people down we were ignorant to our privilege and hopefully you're understanding all the fucked up shit that's going on and what you had to do with and what you are a part of. But you're a part of it. But you're understanding all the fucked up shit that's going on and what you had to do with and what you are a part of but you're fine with it but you're still there and the budget like I'm just because you acknowledge it doesn't take it away from you. It takes work and it takes change. But I'm someone doing that like major in sociology that wants to learn shit that's

constantly talking you're in therapy. We're in therapy. We're working on ourselves. We know our flaws. How many people do you know like that? I know a lot. Okay. I know a lot of guys. I know a lot of hunks of shit that have gone to AA, got clean. Because my, I know a lot. But my experience in discussing these matters,

I'm telling you is not like this, Bobby, it's a constant fight and I'm not one of them. And it's like, go to the, my favorite is when men say go to the police. And it's like, you say that until it's your brother or your cousin or your friend or your boss or your favorite mentor. I all these men.

You said all the porn I actually, that's all the porn. All the men are like, well why did you go to the cops? And it's like, you all think your heroes until it's like, till it's your friend and it's like, he would never. I don't,

I don't know, you go into a whole, this is the thing that we talk about Louis and it always winds up at rape, which is, okay, it won't be right. I'm gonna say what I'm saying though. That's what I don't like. The path leads to rape. It's the life, okay, so I haven't explained it to me.

I was a young commentator say something. She wants to say something. It's the general conversation of sexual assault. There's a spectrum of sexual assault. All right, let me ask you question. Do you think Louis sexually assaulted somebody? No, because he got a son, but why? No, no, no, no, no, no, experience. Okay, yes, absolutely, but you how do you how does it go from? It's not sexual assault.

You're a woman. You're a young woke woman. And I just asked you was it sexual assault? You said no, and but it still leads to rape I don't know how that goes how misconduct it's not a lead it's a Spectrum leave who will my friend was in a car on the road with a dude He whipped his dick out. She like I don't want to he's like touch my dick. She was driving He was wasting she like I don't want to they're in the middle of Indiana driving He didn't sexually assault but he took his dick out and she's driving the car and she doesn't know what's gonna happen I have a sword that that's why, like,

where nothing was legal or not. That is sexual assault. That's actually assault. I was at, this was years ago, but that's sexual assault. I was a young comic. But, but knows that, which, that's sexual assault, right? It's misconduct, of course.

Is that sexual assault, which he just described? But you wouldn't want him to go to jail or he paid or could he never do stand up again? Fuck that. Well, if, listen. my friend was in the car. Why doesn't he get banned forever? He doesn't get forever. Why not ever?

Why not ever? Why not forever? Are you fucking crazy? No, but forever. So you want something to happen forever? That's not evolving. If that was going to make dudes change their behavior, but you never think anything is bad enough. Really? You crazy. You say they. Alvin if that's gonna make dudes change their behavior, but you never think anything is bad enough really crazy

You say they you're saying they you're generalizing a whole You crazy you know a lot of people that were Pieces of shit that have evolved you you know them and you love them and you're not giving them credit You're not you're just doing they and you say cut them all out for this guy for somebody to be banned from something forever ever but why are we more like what do we have to do to make sure dudes aren't taking their dicks out at work you should let you should let you should you should Louis Oh like a club owner no no no so if Louis and lose work Louis Louis comes back right Louis comes back yeah does this thing right all right comes back does this? Let me come back. It does this thing, right? All right, it comes back, does this thing,

and then winds up verbalizing all the shit that's happened to him, winds up talking about it, and then all of a sudden there's a discussion from his end, not just one end, his end, which we haven't heard yet, by the way. We still haven't heard that. Ban him forever, you never hear that. Ban him forever, you never get the other side of it of what he did learn, oh, if he did, or if he didn't, you never hear that. Band him forever, you never get the other side of it

of what he did learn. Oh, if he did, or if he didn't, you never get that. Now, you understand what I'm saying? When you start fucking burning people at the stake for something, now what he did, okay, not sexual assault, not rape, misconduct, to say somebody should be banned forever, and this is my opinion, for I just don't agree with it.

What about the girl that goes, you know what, I'm gonna not do comedy because all these dudes keep taking their dick out. I didn't experience it and it wasn't a dick thing, but I was a young comic. I got too fucked up. I smoked weed and I couldn't walk. Like I got fucked up.

Two great guy friends, I was gonna sleep at one of my good guy friends. Another one helped carry me up there. You were gonna sleep with one of them. Not sexually, he's like my friend. I'll just sleep at the end. Yeah, so one of my best friends still. He's like my friend. I'll just sleep in the bed. Yeah.

Yeah. So one of my best friends still is dating one of my best friends. I'm hopefully going to fishate their wedding. So he's like, you're asleep at my house. Our other friend is helping me up the stairs to get to my friend's apartment. When he's putting me to bed, he then starts going in for a kiss. Right? And I push him away.

He leaves, of course. Yeah. But what is it in this dude, you're my friend. I see you almost every day for years in my life. You had to carry me up the stairs. I couldn't walk. I was so fucked up. And you are still going to try to fucking make out with me, fuck me.

What were you going to do, dude? You're my fucking friend every day. So feeling bad for these dudes is annoying. But it's a misstep on your friend. He fucked up. It's a misstep at his constant. It's not once. It's throughout all lives. And it's when you start on your friend. It's a misstep and it's constant. It's not once. It's throughout all lives.

And it's when you start as a team. Well, I'm saying that, but I can't roll. And it's all I- Hang on a second. You're saying, you're giving me one guy, one instance, and I'm not, you're not allowing me to comment on it. Hang on, you're not allowing me to comment on it. You bring up a scenario, you're just saying it,

and I don't get to comment on it. And then you say, all guys, every guy, all got, what the fuck is that? It's not all guys, but what do you say if it happens to all of my girlfriends? But that guy, there's no bad guys. But that guy, no, listen, I'm not saying there's not bad guys, you're bringing up a thing that happened to you that I'm like, that guy did that, that guy did that to you, right? Now, you said no and he walked away. Now do you think that this guy summit

was he drinking to but guess what he drinking to I don't know probably. Okay so he was so he's drunk your drunk brings you upstairs. Miss reads the situation you say no he walks away. Okay. Okay tell me what why should he right now be a fucking do anything but he has eight other stories like that. A following man home, yes. Okay, so that. So it started young and I didn't say anything, because if I said something, it'd be like,

you're making it up and wasn't that big deal, you're both drunk, I get ostracized, right? No, if that guy's following women home, that's all, if you said, okay, this is... Now he is, because no one wanted to do anything about it. But this guy's following women home. He shoved one of my friends against the wall, still, everyone was like, he didn't do anything wrong. Okay, this guy's following women home. He shoved one of my friends against the wall still. Everyone was like,

but you think for, okay, so if you got, you got, you get drunk. If I, if I, if I met a girl and we got drunk and went back to a room and I tried to kiss him. No, as a friend, he was my friend for years, helped me up the stairs. Never once did we go on a date, okay, doesn't, doesn't matter to you,

but he's upstairs, he's drunk, you're drunk. He probably, a lot of times, I've done many girls I've liked that they didn't know. I liked them. You know, I tried to kiss a chicken high school that I loved and I tried to kiss her one night because I thought the moment was right. And she was like, what are you doing?

And I was like, I just wanted to, I like you. And she was like, yeah, no, not happening. I was like, I just wanted to, I like you. And she was like, yeah, no, not happening. I was like, okay, I'm sorry. I thought that we, you broke up, but your boyfriend, we were hanging out. We've been friends for two years, but I liked you the whole time. And you didn't know it.

I probably should have said something. We keep having to mold it all over your guys' experience. Why don't you just change? Like, why do we have to keep like, oh, but he was drunk and it's like, well why didn't you try to fuck me when I couldn't walk? Oh, he tried to fuck you? No, I don't know what he was gonna do.

What if I couldn't, I couldn't move. My legs didn't work. I had to be carried to my friend's house. Listen, listen, but you just brought it to another level without telling me. Maybe he wasn't gonna fuck me. Maybe he just wanted to grab my tits. I don't know, but I can't move my legs.

But you're telling me what actually happened as opposed to, you're saying that you probably have to say as you tried to kiss you said no and you said I'm out. Yeah. Now you bring me to fucking, fucking a paraplegic. I mean, that's a different fucking scenario. What if I passed out and I, well, I have friends that have woken up blacked out.

I know someone that has a, before he fucks the crowd. But you asked me to comment, I'm trying to comment on the scenario that you're giving me. But you're trying to give me a scenario that didn't even happen, but you give me the scenario that happened. I'm saying something and you're just pushing it further until you make your point.

I know. Can I say something? Yeah. Because the fact that she has to think that that might happen. Yeah. The fact that we she has to think that that might happen, the fact that we are trained to be able, oh, he actually, there is an option that he will try to mount me right now. Mount me? My legs don't work.

Mount me. Like a fucking horse. No. You know what I mean? The fact that we have to think of the worst case scenario because it does happen more often than not truly. Yeah, yeah. That is a part of the problem. It's like, okay, he did it this happen more often than not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a part of the problem.

That's okay. He did it this time because I said no. And he was maybe clear-minded enough. That makes sense. That makes sense. But the fact that we have to, for example, the Louis situation, did he do anything non-consensually? No.

But the fact that we can't go back as female comics to go have a comic gang and have to be like, OK, I'm going to go hang out with male comics. It's going to be great. We're all having a comic hang. But in the back of my mind, he might fuck me. The fact that we, or he might, that's not Louis, that's generally, or the back of my mind, he might whip his dick out.

Ask or not, we have to still think about that. And that is a part of the conversation. And we have to change our behavior constantly. and now men are being asked to please change your behavior and it's an argument that it's not all of you all the time. I don't think it should be, I don't think it's an argument that it's not all of us. I think it's not even an argument. I think that men need to are changing the behavior but the conversation is happening. The conversation has to happen.

You have to go through it. You have to hear what women think. You have to hear scenarios. You have to verbalize your thoughts. You don't know you're wrong until you know you're wrong. And the only way you know you're wrong is by getting information, by talking, by conversating, and being in learning.

So the only way that happens is by doing what we're doing right now, okay? You have to do that, but you can't fucking, you know, I mean, that's just the fucked up. What we're doing right now. You know, it's just, you know, this is so minor that it's not even an issue. That big of, like, it's something that it's just every day, but a lot of people when they hug now or all of us comics, so familiar, kiss on the cheek. I don't really like that, especially if you're not a good, obviously with some people to find.

You're saying not a good looking guy? No, no, no, like I have friendships that I feel that closely with, but I don't like people kissing me on the cheek. But that's something where you say I don't. And what's the response? This has happened to me three separate times, all comics. It's never, oh, I'm sorry, I have crossed your boundaries. It's, oh, you think you're so much better than everyone. You know what? Oh, fine, then I'm not even going to fucking touch you, is that it? Oh, that's never, oh I'm sorry I have crossed your boundaries. Oh you think you're so much better than everyone. Oh fine then I'm not even gonna fucking touch you, is that it? Oh that's what you think of me.

I thought we were cool. One guy said oh oh fuck you I'm gonna do whatever. That's the response. But now I don't want to be bummed out if I don't get to kiss you on the cheek. But that's so different but it's this thing of like you're saying have conversations with the dudes and it doesn't end that way and it's like it's just constantly dangerous and wild and we're blamed for everything. No one gets punished. This is the fucking the the cause of it right here. Turn this, listen, it was fucking. I guess it's all about fucking we give good advice.

I think I'm part of this. I'm just saying it's like stop making women have to fight to understand that it's constant. It's like I was walking home on my birthday a few years ago in Hell's Kitchen. I was pushed to my apartment building, held against a wall. You know, my building super climbed in my bedroom window, spying on a sold-day. I know.

I know. I know what the gizz it like. I know a lot of nice guys. And I know I'm them all the- Those are the most dangerous. No, no, that's not true. That's what shit. I know a lot of great guys in my life my five uncles my

Third father my third father my stepfather These are all people many the guy who own this club. No, I've had You know dick mark on my sponsor in their lives if they agree Absolutely, they do absolutely they do they do. Absolutely, they do. And you don't need another individual to be a good person. They're good people, okay? Their wives are good people, their families are good people, their children are good people,

good people who breed good fucking people, okay? But I know a lot of great guys in my life. I don't, I know some pieces of shit too. And what would you do if it came out and there was evidence that one of them was a rape person? That is a question that doesn't exist because it hasn't and they weren't. I have a priest who was a friend of mine.

When I came up, wound up being a kid fucker, okay? And he did my fourth step and that broke my heart because I, you know, I didn't, he didn't try to fuck me. Not that he didn't didn't, he didn't try to fuck me. Not that he didn't break my heart that he'd try to fuck me. I definitely wanted me. That is not even a table. But that fucking killed me.

You know, I mean, I've been a victim. First grade, taught, brought in a bush by an older girl, had me suck under tits, took my dick out and play with my dick. I went home and cried because I thought God was going to kill me because I was Grace Catholic and sex was bad. Okay. Did it to me again the week after me and my friend. I joke about it, but it's true.

It affected me for the rest of my life, how I dealt with women, what women wanted. That was a woman who did that to me. You'll get into a bush in the first grade, took my little tiny hair, it was packer. Did anyone, did people believe you and it was something done? I never talked about it until I got,

I got it went sober. Yeah. All right, sex is a fucked up thing. Men and women, it's fucked up, but I believe that we are evolving. I believe fucked up things have to happen. I hope that in Hollywood, a woman never has to go through

which she had to go through to get a part from a fucking piece of shit like that again. Do you understand? And I hope men don't have to do it too. Gay men. I hope you know what I mean? I hope children can go to someone and someone will believe them

and the powers that be will actually punish people. Yes, you look at, I feel the same way about bullies. Bullies bother me that nobody talks about them. Kids are getting fucked up and killing themselves. Children, kill themselves because other kids make fun of them and nobody does anything. And I was bullied and I became a bully, okay? Because of it and it breaks my heart.

That's what I care about. Everybody cares about their thing, passionately. You know what I'm saying? And you should listen to everybody. And through that, we are evolving to become better people. I get it, I understand it. But being passionate to end malacacation rape abuse should be in everything.

Yes, it should be. Yeah, it should be. It's not just my thing. Absolutely. And I'm sure black people said the same thing. Yes. And around 18 fucking 99, they said the same thing.

It's fucked up. Yeah, it's fucked up. It but it is fucked up. But we had a black president, black people. My kid goes to a mostly black in Spanish school. I mean, where we are changing, whether it's, it's not happening fast, we need to do it right now. Keep saying that because we do.

Don't stop saying it and don't stop your passion and don't stop fucking screaming and don't stop fucking, that's fine. But we have to fucking love each other. We have to. If we have to fucking love each other. We have to. If we fuck. I love you and I'm down to do this,

but I have cut a lot, like I've heard, I'm like, you're not worth it to me anymore. I don't wanna, I don't want. I don't understand that. You're a misogynist, there's no point of me trying to be your friend, because you don't, I don't want that. But I was a misogynist too,

and I still have shit in me too. I do, I do. And I'm an editorial. Shut the fuck up, no I'm kidding. I, what if I just threw the keyboard out of my hand? Well listen, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not the conversation and there's a lot of good people talking about this man. A lot of good people are talking about it. Also, if you're listening, uh, by use the promo codes that Bobby promoted because we got to get his kid out of that school. I mean, Jared, I don't know. Sorry. They could do like a like a like a like a. She'd do a go fun me Yeah, how about this? You just go to my patreon.com

Sashrabber Kelly and join for fuck sakes if you're a fan of this podcast and you don't join that you're not a fan of the podcast It's all I'm saying and every month stop on joining you mother fuckers. Oh, I get that. Oh you Join and enjoying yeah, so they can save a buck They join the enjoyingjoined they got to fix that flaw I want to make it join for a year Money gone. Well that I think that may that should be an option. That should be a Very nice, but I I do want to Give a month off for your whole year. I got I got a brand new one-on-one going up with Verzy

I got another hike video I did with Liz. And we have a whole new live from the shed coming up. I talked to your dad too, he said he was gonna do it. Yeah. That'll be great. Oh my God. I'm gonna try to get another rock star on too. I'm gonna try to see Sully from God's max. See if he'll do it.

Cool, that's awesome. Oh my God. I had that CD in sixth grade. Oh my God. That's so funny. Best. Doom, Doom, Doom. Is that in sixth grade. Oh my god. It's so funny. Best. Do, do, do. Is that them?

Yeah, that's them. But they're, uh, and I saw you playing the piano. They're so beautiful. Thank you. Oh my god. Um, so yeah, go to Robert Kelly. Well, please join. Well, look at Jack. God damn it. You're a good looking guy, Jared. That hairline is for fucking mother fucker, dude.

Stay me. Jesus. What the fuck? How did you get your eyes like that? Is that with a diva light? They did a little touch up. Diva light. That was good.

I'm learning, right? Yeah, you're doing good. I just want to say more things. This is a nightmare. What do you want to say? You say one more. I just want to say the way the feelings of Louis being able to come back and it's not a big deal and all this, that's the majority.

Nobody said it's not a big deal. Nobody said it's not a nobody said it's not a worry nobody said it's not a big deal it is a big deal because what's gonna what's not gonna unravel when he's allowed to speak it's gonna be listen how can you defend somebody that hasn't said anything right yeah i'm just saying like the you no one's under attack really. It's the same as it. I mean, I'm just saying the point of view of he should be able to perform again is the majority. Well listen, the majority of it is that he's a comedian that he can perform wherever he wants to because that's the way life works.

And if you think you can take somebody, hang on. No one thinks that they can. Okay, so don't. Yeah. He's doing, he's not working for a company. He's his own boss. He can work and do comedy. Mm-hmm. That's it. Yeah. That's up to him. If you don't want to go, don't. If you don't want to see him, don't. Yeah. I'm just saying that's what most people think. So to think like he'll never be able to work again or everything's this nightmare is, not the truth. Yeah. And I think that is when Louis does come back

and when he does talk about it, or if he, you know, what happens is gonna be interesting to find out what people, I just don't think there's both sides. I hate this fucking side shit. Either I'm a liberal or I'm a fucking Republican. Either I'm a liberal or I'm a fucking Republican. Either I'm a feminist or I'm a piece of shit massagingist. I live, I can, I see things on both sides. I am a fucking human being. I know right from wrong and I can make, and

I'm allowed to make mistakes and I've been wrong. I've been on the wrong side before. And I've, and I've, so, you you know I don't understand why we got a screaming hate people until they become what we want what we think they should become when we should be teaching people through fucking verbalization and fucking psychology and love other than this other bullshit that we're doing screaming and yelling each other hating people and swapping over fucking people. Men, women, fucking black, what the fuck that? Anyways, Jared Fried, Houston, Texas, Seattle, Cleveland.

We're going to Houston the 18th, right? What is it? The 9th. The 9th. The 9th. Wow, the secret group. Laugh comedy club, Seattle the 23rd, hilarities, the 30th, she's doing all one nighters, I love it. One nighters, because I'm going to these tailgates. Really, that's great. And you're new show.

It's on Snapchat every Tuesday. You're a harder Tuesday. I'm working man, dude. Every Tuesday, Snapchat, how low will you go, watch that? You're fucking taxing how much you've, really. That's my best man. And then the podcast goes to, talk to Jimmy, say like you got to do it. I'm not doing it I don't have a gym. Sure, because we got to find another way buddy another we got to do another yeah

But no, it's not happening. I'm trying I just can't do it. We're all doing it. Let's fucking all do it That's right. We're taking miles stone fucking TV and film to the top. Let's do it. Oh, fucking, it's happening. It's happening. We're taking that company to the fucking top. That's right. Yeah, Jim's gonna be the biggest mogul in the fucking world. I think it's already happening.

Yeah, that's true. He really is, man. Fucking Srepochon Celetti. Jimmy, man. Jimmy's fucking great. All right, what do you got, sweetie? Can I say that? I'm just kidding,

because that made you mad before. October 3rd to the 7th, I'm at San Antonio at the improv. Oh, that's great club, right? I'm great. Is that a, that's where you're from, right? Is that what I play? Oh, that's the other one. Santa Set, yeah.

And then I'll be October 13th in Iowa at Anglert Theater with Janelle James. Nice. And then November 13th to 15th. I'm in Atlantic City at howie Mendel's comedy club. Where? Howie Mendel comedy club. I love that headshot of you. Thanks. So great. All right cool. What do I got? I'm doing a live show this week. Gaggill going to be a third year. September 6th. Yeah, we're doing a live YKWD. Jimmy Donazin, which I'm even fucking excited about. What about Tony Veezy?

Tony Veezy. Get the fuck! I'm doing a live, you know what dude? And I'm trying to get Sully from God's Mac to come down. That'd be fucking awesome. This Thursday night, last boss in six o'clock, get your tickets now. Friday Saturday night, Boston, get the fuck over there.

Get on it. Next week after that, where am I? Oh shit, Washington DC, Draft House, Friday and Saturday, am I right? And then where am I? Punchline Philly, motherfuckers, from the 21st to the 22nd, right? Yep.

I love that club, Philly, you better fucking click it up. Is that a thing, click it up? I like that. Click it up. Yeah, sure. Rumors, call to cruise. Rumors, call to cruise, and then side splitters. Go to robacodelive.com, please.

For all my dates, you guys are amazing. This has been a heated, listen, don't fucking. Just listen, and if you don't like what was said for me or him or her, well, it gives a fuck. It's a conversation. We're creative people. We're passionate. You know, but when it all comes down to, we all fucking give a shit about each other. We're comedians. We think we philosophize. We scream, we yell, we cry, we laugh. And we all do it so you can have something to think about too, so that you can laugh. And we all do it so you can have something to think about too, so that you can laugh, so you can cry, so you can have fun. That's why we do all

this shit, okay? So, you know, no fucking nobody asks for your opinion. Just keep it to yourself. Go tell your husband, go talk to your wife or your girl. Don't fucking come to me. All right, I said what I had to say. So do my guests, now deal with it. Or just fucking don't watch this channel. He's so bad, he's gonna be paying forever. What do you got?

We're up next Wednesday, right? Is it this Wednesday? This Wednesday. No next. I don't have nothing this Wednesday. Yeah, I have Wednesday off. Yep. Nice. So, next Wednesday, cool.

Yeah. You're gonna be there. Yeah. All right, cool. I might be there. Oh, I know. What happened? I have to go to LA.

Oh, man. It's back for that premiere. Yeah. But it should can be. Okay. I'll be at the, no, we don't have a podcast that week. We have a podcast next week. We don't.

We don't. We don't. We have the live. We have a podcast next week. We don't we don't we don't give the live we have the life We have the live on this week. Yeah. Yeah, and then it goes next week. I'm okay cool I'm getting old guys go see the live Jackie Jackie. What do you got? I have some I have a lot of folks coming out in the fall. I did the degenerates. They're dirty half hours So that'll be on that flicks in the fall I'm wearing a see-through shirt also a real I did the degenerates, they're dirty half hours. So that'll be on Netflix in the fall. That's kind of a pain.

I'm wearing a see-through shirt. Also a real pain. But see, I can't look at that because you guys, this is the funny thing, if you two start doing shit like that, like if you ever said something sexy on, I look away. Like when I see you on the internet, you're all dressed up. That's because you're my pseudo dad. It's a weird thing.

Next weekend, when this comes out next weekend, I'm gonna be at the LaFact during Chicago with Katie Hanigan. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I had such a fun time on your podcast. Really? Oh yeah, we have a podcast called A Pod Calipse.

Yes, do that with me and Vaugh. It was so fun. That comes out in two weeks, your episode. All right, this is gonna be a heated podcast. Get some clips. You probably have some clips. And there you go. You guys are the best fans of the world. Thanks for listening. You know what? We'll see you next time.

You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shining. Shining. Shining.

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