Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Zombie Apocalypse

Episode Date: March 23, 2015

Robert is joined by Kevin Ryan, Tom Cassidy, H. Foley, Reggie Conquest, Andrew Schiavone, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Y qué es lo que es? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Vamos a ver, vamos a ver. A la primera vez que me ha gastado en el planeta.

No me ha gastado como un caminete. I'm coming to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. It's rubber killing us. You know what? You know what? You know what?

There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? The Giant Come Come Come

Come Come Come Come Come Come Come Come

Come Come Come Come You get a seizure like that. That's the creepiest van from the 80s. All right, we are here. We are live with the YKWD. I'm your host Robert Kelly and I am back and fatter than I was last week. I thought you was starting to die it. Shut up. You said Sunday. Dude, I started at night.

Dude, you're not supposed to fuck it. I told you not listening. No, the fans. I have fat people that rely on me. No shooting of rings. Dude, I lost my mind Saturday night in in Arlington and uh, buttery buttery buttery buttery buttery fucking pretzel. Oh, pretzel sticks with a fucking casso dip. Mother of all God.

That's it, Luzant pretzels, that's Luzant your mind. Seven hoagies deep. Roll up on the floor. What? Well, then Sunday, I kind of fucked up too. But Monday back on, boom, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I fucked up. What did you have, though? Whoop, whoop, whoop.

Were you down here? No, I was in Wisconsin. I was at the wash. Oh, shit. Lock a cheddar. The best list. I'm gonna say this. I've said it before, comedy on state is the best comedy club ever.

We're gonna talk about it after. Before we get into all this horse shit because I can just start yapping now about what's going on, but I want to introduce everybody on the show. We have a very special show, especially if you're fucking fucking jelly. Tall, top whatever the fuck you guys said.

Whatta. Um, uh, scuffle introduce everybody. Alright, we got the center city podcast. Uh, these guys have no podcast center city. Center city. Center city. Tom and he's thanks for bunching on off the gate. Oh, deep. Uh, all right.

So my right Tom Cassidy. Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. Yes, no, it's good for Cassidy. Hey, everybody comic. Yes, no scope of her wild. Thanks for having me Apparently the quiet one Hey, we are Fucking John Belucia Just dropped out of our attack right now Age fully everybody hey everybody out there. He's the leader. Are you the leader of the fucking podcast? Self-proclaimed.

Yeah, self-proclaimed leader. He's the host. I mean, yeah, he's the host of the podcast. Thanks, Eric. You're the host. I host, show. So you're the me of your show. Technically.

OK. Well, that's good that you're sitting across from me. You still feel comfortable. I'm honored. I'm honored. All right, good. So it wasn't good. Yeah, then Andrew Shivone.

Oh, good to be here. Thanks for having me. Not in name. Not in name. Not in, you think that's a great name? Shiv then Andrew Shivone. Oh, good to be here. Things we haven't made. Not in name. Not even think that's a great name. Shivone. Shivone. It's exactly. It's fucking great.

Roll the hand tongue. A male stripper. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Shivone. Ladies. He's got a big ol' peepie too. He got a big dick, Shivone. Yeah, you know, it's pretty good. That's what my dad says.

I don't want to over sell a geez He did You're fucking paled it It's jealous pal It's jealousy your name? Why the fuck is that a good name for? It's got a big dick too Now what is big to you?

Because big to me is different Like seven's big to me, that's a big dick. I think Andrew's like eight. You're eight. No way. I love that you said it, you said the word think. What I remember. I was like, I'm sure quiet. He was drunk.

I don't talk that much because of. All right, who else do we got? We got Kevin Ryan over here. Hey, stand up comic. Kevin Ryan, what's up buddy? And then we got? We got Kevin Ryan over here. Hey, stand up comic. Kevin Ryan, what's up buddy? And then we got one more, but you know, he's black and late. Whoa! Whoa!

You don't say that on air? What the fuck is wrong with you dude? The worst color statement things go post. Well, we're in, that's a Philly podcast. Chris, I should have had you on Anthony's network. Oh. I fucking love these guys. Let's get them on the Coomey and Network.

Do you guys have a network, by the way? We do not know. It's funny you mentioned it. Independent. You like it, do you like being independent? I mean, you don't really need a network. I do. Oh yeah. Why, you think you do it, you need one. I mean you don't really need a network. Oh, yeah, bye

You think you do what you need one. I think a little bit to get a bigger reach Really how many reaches do you have about like three or four? Bobby please we need this Kippy oh Jesus Yeah, by your good pal Keith Robinson Yeah, by your good pal Keith Robinson. Oh, let's not get carried away on that KW our superstar K dog hasn't made it yet The bus funny

He's thanks I love Keith, but he had a bus You know, I thought of him much money you would have saved if you just had a but he had a bus. You know, I thought if you had much money, you would have saved. If you just had a fucking painting of a bus, he actually had the build. A bus. And technically, he got on the wrong side. You don't get out with a driver. You should have been on the other side of the stage with the door.

Come that way, he had it on the fucking wrong side. So he literally had to step over, so he was actually driving the bus. That's where he's at. He's close to actually doing that in life. He got kicked off or not having a token. And I got to go. It's sucker.

Got beat up by a white dude. Yeah, it really, his bus bugged me. I liked it. I know you didn't. I'm pretty happy. I loved it. Well, you didn't like the bus Yes, being loyal be sorry for touching your leg. It's all right. You're being you're being loyal because he's from Philly And he's some type of Godfather of comedy you have to respect him on the way up

Believe me once you get fucking once you get in the business you get your own stuff you can stop Respecting Keith Robbins like little Ted div wand You get your own stuff you could stop respecting key through all Like little caddive walk the Susie opens for you I love the bus. I love the special you did not why what why do you like the bus? I'm sorry Rip and fill it. No, I don't I'm I thought I was cool, you know what I mean? Rip and fill. No, I don't I'm asking

Philly is it Philly didn't what the fuck is that we have buses every no, it was a septibus. Yeah, oh yeah I fill it up your body. I have no argument to back the ball fucking the uni bomb. I just The uni You've seen a set a word and fill it up. It's until something intelligent he needed to do. First I was a scepter. I'll answer the question for these idiots who were panicking. It's a scepter bus. Scepter. Not anybody, yeah.

Hey listen, did you like the bus, sir? I saw it live and I enjoyed the bus at the time, but I didn't notice that the door came out the wrong way. Yeah, that's pretty good. And that buggy, doesn't it? Now it does, I guess, a little bit, but it didn't bug me at all until you said it. I look at Ferg, if Keith Robbins special was killer, fucking, he did, I mean, he killed it.

He and I, I went to, I went live, he fucking killed it. But the bus really, I wanted to throw, change at him, I really did. I don't know. It would have been cool if it would have pulled away as like, you know, we started doing this stuff. Right, with him in it, and with him in it, and with him in it you know we started doing this stuff right with him in it

I just I really almost screamed out. It's the wrong door The drive There's no bus that the driver has a door They aggravated me maybe I'm maybe I'm getting carried away anyways. I wonder you know it wasn't a real bus, right? Little not Keith for the record. I loved it. No, I love it too. I find we had him on last week He's he's Keith is always murdered always murders always and it's that he got his first hour right now Is fucking ridiculous because he probably got hours of material that he but now first hour right now is fucking ridiculous, because he probably got hours of material that he, but now that you don't have to wait for somebody to go,

hey, comedy said, whoever, you can go do it yourself and then they'll buy it later is fucking awesome. So I'm so glad he did it and I thought he'd killed it. If you want to get real, because you guys are fucking scared of Keith Roberts. We're not scared of him. Well, you guys are a little scared.

Yeah, you're a little scared. What are you talking about? Nobody's scared. Well, apparently he's not scared. Apparently you're not scared of Skopal. Reggie says he's running to get here. That's us walking. From the police.

Tell him to run like they're giving away crab cakes. He's on the same bus keepers. Can I have that in that phone down over that one? Jesus Christ crab cakes really died That James Winston holy just got hungry hang on one second hang on one second James here you go for James Winston Well the fuck that the guy who got so caught go stealing crab legs Yeah, what take that? James and the fucking Florida's

they quarterback and I want to the Ghostbusters you bring up this is a podcast from Rutgers you say Rutgers right I'm not taking it back there's no fucking bam bombed in for fucking up a word you said murder wrong to the second you. I just give you the details. All right, well, whatever. Uh-huh. Hang on. All right, so here we go. We got you guys on. I really, the reason why I wanted all you guys on,

you guys were on with Scopus, some of you, when I was away, which I thought was great, but I met a bunch of you guys, and I think it's fantastic that you guys, this kind of a story behind it, right? You guys all moved here together, almost like a team. A little bit, right? We all took turns, but yeah, we all, you know, one of us came and then the other came.

Andrew is actually the only one who's not from Philadelphia. Where are you from? DC. That's cool. Can you leave? Right. He's from DC, he's from Alexandria, Virginia.

I'm doing my Virginia, Alexandria, Virginia show in like three weeks. Oh, no, those guys aren't cool. Either you. My parents are from Philly, so I have a affinity for these guys. That's not why he's so fucked. We were starting the podcast and we needed someone with they needed a nerd.

They needed a deeper. I was the first guy they met in New York. Who are you? Then he's from town. I'm from Philly. guy they met in New York. Oh you then He's from town off from Tommy met five minutes ago He was no we're often filled out for you me and Henry and Kevin started at the Lafascamity Club in Philadelphia So I mean we've all known each other and Philly the whole time really and then we all eventually moved up here Wow, that's good man. Yeah, it's like well

people don't know that me man, yeah, it's like, well, people don't know that me, Dane Burr, Patrice, Bob Marley, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, so on and so forth, just a bunch of us, moved, did this, basically the same thing. I think it was Dane moved, then Burr, then Patrice, and then me, I was the last one out of the group. And it took over, I think like a couple of years, it went on to me, which is not a long time at comedy,

you know, six months, six months, six months. But there was a point, but it was weird because, you know, when I, Dane just fucking left, went to LA, Billy, six months in, just booked a gold pilot with Karcie Warner and Molly Ringwall, and then Patrice was here and I was here, and then, you know, Billy wanted to come back for a minute and then you know That was it. So I mean, you know a couple of us just took off right away. I'm like you guys

Still waiting for that Bar was here six months and he had a pilot six months book the go pilot with car she wanted one car she warner Was the mother fuckers. I mean they just rosanne and all that shit. Yeah, and but it was a go pilot Which is not you know, it's not like they were going for a season, no matter what, which is great. Um, what happened to it? You got cancer. Yeah, right?

It was actually cheers. It was the pilot episode of shit. It played Woody. Yeah. Um, I hate those stories when you hear like a show that books and then the guy who almost got it. Oh, man close to being set for life How do you go on living with that? Oh, I don't know I actually you have a story Bobby was the original pilot that you didn't get what's that you have a pilot you that was a guy I have a pilot I didn't get I have I have a show I

didn't get I have I have a show I Didn't book me Dane had a good call dane had a fucking show on his he had a pilot and his best friend was Robert and It was just a bald fat guy I didn't book it. I didn't book Robert Kelly. It's like Kramer trying to get Kramer. Yeah. Fucking weird. Who got it over you? Um, you never see Grandma boy. Earthquake. Grandma's boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they totally went in a totally different way. They, um, the guy who played the, the

the head game ring guy who stole you know the game the third the robot I talked to him. Yeah, hello. Yeah, he got it. I see the similarity. He got that part. Jesus. It was him and red Johnny in the round guy. You don't remember them. Do you? No. I back in the day when I was here. Folial know this. It was basically. You know, you go to the Boston Comedy Club, it would be me, Keith, Patrice, Rich, Voss, Norton, you know, and then you'd have Jay Moore, Shepal, Jim Brewer, you know, and then Red Johnny and the Round Guy were one of these groups. They were a two-man team and they would come in at the end of the night after Shepal,

Brewer, more. I mean, the fucking place would just be going nuts. I mean, I'm talking, there's the crowd you see now where people get laughs, the place would fucking explode. Wow. Explode, and then they'd come in and rip the fucking roof off. Really? Yeah, they did a rap and the big guy

was a red hair, red Johnny and the round guy. They would just do this fucked up B box in rap and improv and they had these sketches and they fucking murdered. Like I've never seen anybody murdered. And they, whatever, they want to break it up, of course, because he can't fuck on. He actually, red Johnny was in LA,

and he does a lot of voiceovers, and he's been in a ton of shit behind the scenes, but it was me, him, and that guy from Grandpa's Boy. That's what it goes. It was the crazy shit ever. When you get to that level, that was the first time I ever got to that level, where you're kind of screen testing in front of the heads

of your in Sony in the studio. Wow. And you're in a theater. There's a theater of you're in Sony in the studio. Wow. And you're in a theater. There's a theater in there, which I didn't fucking, and you have to go down this theater in the heads of Sonya there. And you have to do the scene in front of them in the theater. In Japanese?

In Japanese. Why'd I go along with that? What did that come with? You had a Sony. Can I have a mouse? Yeah. Why'd that fucking along with that? You're the Sony I thought he was serious Japanese I came in late to the conversation so I was like oh really Japanese We're sure not red Johnny in the round guy

Yeah, we're speaking around guy. It would be crazy to get out here, huh? Jesus Christ hang on stop one second. Let can you pull the microphone you do a mic check just hold it up to your mouth hang on stop everybody. Hey Jesus. Hey Bobby. Never just shiss for a second. I just want to hear it. What? Keep talking. I want to hear you a happy-leaf green. That 12 years of slave over here. This subway is a block away. The sound of Type 2 diabetes. The sound of gravy. Could you pick up game when you're away over here? How far do you run?

I got off the A, the end, off of A-thabs. I had the same letters. Where's the old lady's purse? I feel like the train's only late for black people. It's because they're late getting to the train. I just say, you're right. I'm literally an app that tells you the train is coming. I mean, black guys getting on the late trains and they can be late.

He was waiting for a swipe. See, the train's not late. When you get on a train, if you're trying to get here at what time is it supposed to be at 5.30? It's 5.50. Yeah. If you get here, if you leave your house at 5 at what time is it supposed to be at 5.30? 5.50. Yeah, if you get here, if you leave your house at 5.15, the train won't get you here at 5.30. That's not late, you were late.

I was 5.15? Yeah. What? Oh, that's a great, what do you, do you know Lewis J. Gomez? Yeah, I know Lewis. I should hang out. I think Reggie got his stroke. I swear to God.

He does not smell good. I don't have a stroke. I don't need two black guys in my life having strokes. I'm here, man. I don't stink either. Stop bullshitting. I'm not. But folks at home, I don't smell.

Well, we were talking about before you showed up when you actually ran up, walked up to stairs. We were talking about you guys all came from Philly and you guys kind of all kind of came here together. How did you meet these guys? I feel it out for you seeing. I met Foley at the Lafayl's first, met Foley and Tommy and then I met Kevin and I met Troron when I got here. What made you guys stay all together? What made you guys give the formal pitch? I know you don't like it when I do it. do it this one saying he's from fucking DC he's on a breath I'm ready to

fucking lose it all right Bobby let me take you back wake me up man good good I went to college to play football I left after two years of pursuing acting. Oh, you serious? Oh, what's up? This is bio. This is shitty bio that he has. Shivon Juggled to?

He pulled the acne reel. Now start from the beginning. I know you were going to do it. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So Chris Cotton, Conrad, all started a room in Philadelphia at the Raven Lounge. Okay, there wasn't much going on in the Philly scene as far as independent comedy.

They started a great mic. He became a showcase. I came on board. We all started working together. Tommy showed up, Kippy showed up. Reggie started hanging out. Tommy and I and Cotton all came up through the Laf house comedy club.

It's a black comedy club. You used to let go of him, please. So I'm looking like, I love this kid. Just uncomfortable for me. Well, you hold him. They talk to him like a fucking abuse child. So we all came up through the Laf house together. And the show was called Center City Comedy. Right. The Center City Comedy show at the Raven L child. So we all came up to the laughhouse together. And the show was called Center City Comedy.

The Center City Comedy show at the Raven Lounge. So in the 18th San St. Philodofia. All right. And then we started me and Cotton and Conrad and Cassidy started working together, producing sketches, doing all kinds of stuff, doing live shows, Kippy came on, everybody came together. We LLC, the name Center City Comedy.

We all stayed down there for about four or five years. Tommy, Cotton, Monroe and Derek, G, all started coming up here slowly but surely, they're doing their thing and then we all kind of moved up here together and now we do a lot of stuff together under the flag of Center City Comedy. Now do you have your own show here now that you guys do? We do. We do our own podcast, the Center City Comedy. Where's the cast?

Mr. Scopo. Excuse me. All right. We're on SoundCloud. It's a great network. It actually is pretty good. Are you literal all the time? Are you loosening up at? Oh, he loosens up, baby.

I'm going to put a couple of 20-year-old broads in front of him, Jesus Grace. All right. Let's get back in serious. Yeah, go ahead. So we have a monthly show that we do out of the Laughing Devil Comedy Club in Long Island City. And that is from the stand, right? They don't that. I believe they do. They run that Patrick. Yes. Who Dante hates? But we're going to talk about Dante almost died. Yeah.

So he's in the hospital. Yeah, he got surgery. He almost fucking died. To finish the speech. I wouldn't agree. That as last podcast was that what's wrong? My god, you don't just say oh god No, what's somebody here Jesus? Yeah finish the page. No, that's it. That's it. So we do our own thing Yep, we do a bunch of shows out of the village Lansing with our with another comedian friend Mike cross everybody's doing their own thing Reggie takes improv Shavon's dating women now. Yeah. How'd you used to date guys? Is that way of a big dick?

You should have given the bandana for that one. That was a kid. He used to be really fat. And then he did no sugar no grains. Did he really? Yeah. What are you going to do it? I've been trying to get him on.

That's right. I'm trying to do something. I got a meat. I got a can. You can have meat. I like pork. I like pork bacon. You can have meat. That's a sugar egg. I like pork. I like pork bacon. You can have pork, man.

It's okay. No sugar, no grains. Yeah. Did you hear it? You're like, if I'm looking at bread, I'm just trying to get out of it. I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, So that's scoop. I like pork, what? You can have it. He likes to put sugar on it. I like pork. Sugar and greens. I like sugar and greens on my bacon. He likes to push sugar on it. I'm not. Sugar and greens.

I like sugar and greens on my big one. He likes meat sushi. No, he hates sushi. He actually refers to it as Japanese nuggets. Oh, yeah, sushi stinks. I don't like that at all. He says he looks like little cakes. Why do you? Bobby, do you like sushi? I love sushi. You know, I have a word question to ask you.

It's going to start. It's going to start on a little nerdy. It's only in stuck in my head You did an episode of Louis where you guys went and ate two big meals. Yes bang bang the Indian restaurant You went to is it a real place? Absolutely real. Oh my god. It looks so fucking good He's been really talking about this for a whole year. I've never had Indian food, right? Deepo all right I never I never had it in my life. What did you say deep before? I don't know. I say deep Yeah, I'm just saying Kevin, I'm sorry. Anyway. I have some in my bag if you want.

Do you really? Yeah. That's the kind I'm looking for. You can't smell it? Do you have Indian food? I don't know. I know you can. I know that's a lie because we'd smell it.

Anyway. I've done playing along with people on the line. I did it with him and failed. You just jah. Fuck it. I'll play it long. I did it with him and failed. You know, it was just, fucking. I'll play it long. I actually have an acting background. Geez. As long as you don't have a bus in your background.

It's got my parents house. To live. Keith's first fucking special too. He had the corner where he grew up. Like, and he walks out and he's like, that's it, right? The corner of the fucking, whatever the fuck of the fucking, whatever the fuck street and fucking James and whatever.

Like we all knew, nobody was from Philly and the other is in New York. I was from Philly, I seen it, it was great. Not you see it in TV. No, I seen it live, I was there with you. He did it on the actual corner. No, I'm talking about his half hour. Yeah, I seen it, I had a dream.

No, you saw the hour. You saw the hour, I was so dumb. Oh, you were, you were, you were seven when you filmed that. I didn't see that it, Adam. No, you saw the hour. You saw the hour, Adam. So darn, she just sprites. You were seven when he fell in that. I didn't see that, well no. He was actually selling drugs on that corner. That's not necessary. That's not necessary. You look like a little baby biggie.

He does. A do? Yeah. Oh. Rees like I'm two. Ha ha ha. They have the same blood pressure. Ha ha ha ha.

Can we get bigger, Adam? Because he will die someday of his parents. Oh yeah. They have the same blood pressure. Who are you gonna pick on him? Because he will die someday of his parents. And I don't want this podcast to live on. Trying to fat shame him into getting losing weight. I am. I'm gonna ride my bike this summer and that's gonna be great. You don't have a fucking bike? It's gonna steal my first day.

You're gonna have a bike in Philly, a mountain bike. I'm getting it fixed up and be riding on a summer. You mean a white kid as a mountain bike? Yeah, yeah. Had a mountain bike. There's some kind of written house square like, God damn it, they got me again. Some poor Indian boy.

Got a bike, man. What were the fuckers I talking about? Keith Special. No, after that. We were talking about something after that. Me and you were a... Dante? No, the Indian joint.

Oh, the Indian joint. Yeah, the Indian question. Yeah, it's a real place. This is basically what he did. This is why shooting Louis is so fucking crazy. You show up and he just ordered everything off the menu. That's it. He just said, give us all this and just put it on the table

at one time and he was asking me, what do you like? And I was, I pointed, I don't know either. I was just pointing to flaky puffs and stuff. See, I figured you'd be a big Indian guy, I don't know either I was just pointing to flaky puffs and see I figured you'd be a big Indian guy I don't know I've had Indian before and I like it, but I'm not a I Won't go and get it, but if someone's going to it I'll do it because the curry is in the sauces. It's a real thick heavy and I'm always on a some fucking you can't eat this Puffy shit diet because I've heard you mentioned moussaka, which is a Greek Greek

I love I'm not Greek, now, but I love that dish Yeah, I can't have that either, but yeah, and then all we did there was two cameras and they shot it at one shot one take He just said roll and then we just ate we just ate like savages and then we were full We couldn't eat any mother just stopped cool. It was a great scene. Can I get the name of the restaurant? That was the original question Third half. One of those. Third half. One of those. I think it's called Bungara.

I like how Bobby said, you know, when you shoot Louis, they grow up like, oh, yeah, of course we know. You should have said, you know, when you watch Louis. We all would have been on board. I forget. I forget that you guys just started comedy a week ago. Hey, we're doing pretty big, huh? Pretty big. Pretty big, pretty good. Shut up. I forget You guys just started comedy a week ago Hey, we're doing pretty big pretty big a pretty big a pretty good shut up

When I try and show off that I work with you that's the scene I bring up actually the bang bang scene And then everyone oh then they go oh that guy Yeah, that's a deep who's getting late That's actually been my career that guy It's been my my career That guy That should be my website name That guy Dot met Shivon already took it Bob, he's gonna give that to him

Bob do you remember when you when we met He's rich on coke You fucking get good I don't know dude but did we fuck He's scared me He's doing his own show I was 12 12 years old. It was that key special. What the fuck is that? I'm sorry.

I remember, dude. No, you don't stop lying. You didn't remember me when I walked through stairs. I'll tell you. Bobby told me to have any jelly. He gets him on rollin'. It was in New York. You came up to me out front of the cellar.

Somebody just told him. No, I swear to God. You came up to me in front of the cellar. You said, hey man, you were talking. I kind of fucked it you a little bit. You got any chairs? I'm sorry. Bobby told me you didn't have any chairs. You came up to me out front of the cellar somebody just told him No, I swear to God you came up to me in front of the cellar You said hey, man, you were talking I kind of fucked it you a little bit you got me changed and And this is every black comedian the whole story You told this is my first time meeting you said hey you with him. I was with Monroe Yeah, he said open my fucking open the gate you were standing on top of steps. You said open the gate and I was just like who the fuck is this

Did you open the gate? No You wait devil I Didn't I think you open the gate. I didn't open the gate at all in his defense. He knows zero like comedians So you didn't open the gate? No, I get the fuck defense he knows zero-wide comedians, but you didn't open the gate. No, I get the fuck Chivon opened it and laid his jacket down like a bottle. There you go Mr. Kelly, please Gentlemen might have your old grass. I don't I don't remember that but I I forget such a memorable story It was things are castigy asshole

It was things are cast to do that's all I know I know I know but I don't think I can I say it to Monroe No, you said it to me. You said it you said it you should open it. You would have been here a lot earlier It's still would have been late, but I'm bummed out about that story about birth six months and that was it what Story he booked a fucking shop I'm not jealous. I just I just remember, one documentary I saw about him, he said that he was running around for years. Oh, no, no, no, no. He, no, listen, dude, that show didn't, he came back here.

Okay. And then he fucking, he went on the hustle. He was on the hustle for a while. Yeah, he was not working, dude. And then he, yeah, dude, he went back here. He was on the hustle. He went, you know, we started doing the clubs. He was on the, I remember that, I remember he was doing clubs hanging out after shaking

hands kissing babies. Then he did the Chappelle show and then he did a tour with them, then he had to go back on the road by himself and he established his own thing and then he really fucking started doing his own thing. But he was working, he was working. We're all working, We're all fucking working. Look, if you're a stand-up comedian, and you've got a, if you're funny, you'll work.

But to some people, there's a difference between working, making good money on the road, and hustling, or being fucking hugely famous in selling out theaters. There's a difference. You kind of want to have that trajectory towards that. You know, but I mean, look, I know guys who just do clubs, I know guys who do boats who make doctor money, talent fucking jokes.

So it's, you know, it's all what you're okay with. I know guys who do bar shows and the late tables are brunch on Saturday and Sunday. And if you add it up their money, they probably make it all right living. They probably make as much as a teacher who went to go out there masters and has to work five days a week. I was talking about me.

I don't make that kind of money. I was talking about you. You don't make good money. You don't make good money with tables, don't you? Look at his coat. Jesus. Where do you weigh tables? A little place in the West Hill.

You don't want us to give the name. It's where you shut the bang bang. Well, what I ask him where it was? They're a little sniper, like it. They're the guy in the roof. Well, snake in the grass. Yeah, the guy that nobody sees. Scumbag, never saw him coming.

Life in the back. Is that how it was done? I like it. I like it. We just see it at the cafeteria eating by yourself. I think you know he's in the bell tower. What did you love me? So, um, anyways, yeah, no, it's, uh, it's, you know, it's a, it's a, it's a fucking, he definitely had, he got it out of the gate,

but he definitely came back and, you know, I did the same thing. I booked a pilot. I, we always talk about this. I booked some fucking pilot. I thought I was a pilot that didn't get picked up. I was walking different during the pilot. Like I was famous. I was putting my hand down. I do that. There's no pictures.

There's no pictures. I do that now. It's, um, Chabin was a pilot for Halloween. Oh. It's fucking great name. He was a pilot. Were you Tom Hanks at the end at the Philadelphia party remember that nothing I wanted to be with you. I was good. It. Hey first of all you got to leave it on your mic So we know where don't fold it up putting your pocket Fucking off I got OCD. Oh you blow your nose with a biax

Do you really have OCD? No, I Do he's got everything else Do you really have OCD? No. Oh, fuck. I do. He's got everything else. I do. You have OCD. Yeah, we just talked about it. Wait, wait, just get up. I'm just, I'm pointing out.

I thought he was going to wear it. He's late to everything. He's got to be late to everything. I'm sorry. We're on the OCD now. Bobby, do you remember the second time you met him? Shitty of the first. All right. Reggie, can I ask you a question?

What's up? What is OCD stand for? Uh, I don't know. That's exactly right, Reggie. Well, I know, but it's not, I don't know. I know, but I don't know. Yeah, you do. Try.

OCD. Oh. Oh. What is it me? I don't know. Tell me. It's not what it means. What it stands for.

It's when you fucking, my kid got it that I work with. You work with your kid? Oh my God. Let me do a handle. Oh, what is this kid? Oh, what is this kid doing? Thanks, it's a surprise. Right, he's got a real shitty job.

Oh my God, I hate it. But yeah, my kid got that shit. All that shit. You're kidding. I'll say you're kidding. You're kidding. The kid he watches is kidding. Let's do instead of work with this.

What do you like to do? I work with. What do you work with? I work with kids with autism. Kids with shit, you know what I mean? That's good, man. Yeah, for you. It's a horrible job. He actually. It's a great job.

You're doing something great. Oh, it's not great at all. Fuck them babies. Fuck them kids. I'm not a racing this because you're getting fired. I just have to take the hit. He would have fired a long time ago. Hang on, hang on.

So you work with kids with autism. Now what do you do with them? I was a tough and puff. If you're annoyed with them or you have a lunch. Not help them in shit. You help them in shit. You help them in shit. I help them do it all.

To communicate, poop, pee, all of it. Not reading and writing. Yeah. Because he can't, he can't communicate. So neither can you. He's the best conversation we've ever done. A lot of blinking. So you, you, you really help these kids, are you into it? Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's, it's a day job.

Like that's how I look at it. Like I don't really, I'm not asking. I know, I get it. You're gonna be a comedian someday. No, but it's not, I don it. Like I don't really, I'm not asking, I know, I get it. You're gonna be a comedian someday. No, but it's not, I don't really, I don't really care for the job too much. It's just a job. We have a theory that he watches the kid

and then somebody watches him. They're actually studying, Reggie. So you don't like the kids? I don't like the job. I'm just making up. I don't think the kids part of the job. Yeah, I'm too, but do you like the kids? This sounds like a horrible job interview

You know there's other jobs, right? Yeah, but I'm so I can't black people wait tables. Oh, I can I will never wait tables I'm clumsy I'm I'm Couple dudes No, our buddy Sean Jay's a comic does that everyone so long statistically is more white people than we Statistically is more white people than we're tables and group people. Statistically, there's more white people than black people in this country. Oh my god.

So basically, there's more white people on the show than black people. So let's get them. Um, I'm not gonna give you that. I didn't get the bandana. Oh my face is so shit. I don't know. I think that's a wonderful thing

that you help these kids, but you're not doing it to help them. you're just doing it as a job. Yeah, well, yeah, you find it Rewarding it is rewarding. Well, well, if it me. Bobby's trying to give him an out. And he has a not even. That's the one positive thing. Oh, the kids. The positive, the kids. Nap time.

These motherfuckers can sleep. They get snacks too. They get snacks too. They get snacks. You still eat lunch every day. It's great. Well, you have lunch with them? Yeah, yeah, I have lunch with them.

What do they have for lunch? I need he does. He does. He does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have lunch with him. What do they have for lunch? I think he's no sandwiches and hang on Turkey sandwiches. They got good lunches good, you know, you with him. Yeah, he would have Does it bother you the way they eat? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, father's them the way he eats They're making him any eat He says a voice That's retarded. That's mentally retarded. That's not autism. Wait That's mentally retarded. That's not autism. Wait, you're mentally retarded? Some of them talk like that.

I worked with mentally retarded people for a few years when I was starting comedy. Actually, they gave me an apartment. It was a house. They called it normalization. So they wouldn't put them in a building. They'd put them in a buy house, and they'd rent out like the top floor to a family,

a husband, wife, and a couple kids. And then the other two floors would be six. There was six mentally retarded elderly men. And there was one of the rooms, which is the biggest room, would go to me. I lived there. I lived there, that was my place, which is the biggest room, would go to me. I lived there. I lived there, that was my place, but I worked five days a week. I worked from the morning until the afternoon, like five o'clock.

So I could do comedy at night. So I go out to do my shows. I had to be back by like 11, 32. You started at five in the morning? I started eight in the morning. I wake up, make sure they all went to work. They went to work at like pizza hot, or, you know, wherever the fuck they went, they could take, you know, they were high functioning too.

But they were, you know, they did that voice. Whatever that voice was. That politically incorrect voice. No, they did, they were, they were definitely, they were, I just had a great, I love those guys. I had a great time. I helped them. I mean, you know.

I help them, but it's not like, like I always work with kids, like even in Philly, YMCA for four years, I always work in high schools. So I got a lot of fun kids, it's just that these kids is tough. It's taxing. Yeah, it's fucking, you gotta get beat up. Yeah, I get beat up, I get beat, I get spit on,

so it's fucking, I had one of the guys attack me with a knife. One day he was, he always just Leo, Leo would just be like, hi, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, and you had a really good let that go through one air and out the other, the other guy,

the other guy, Ted, big motherfucker, like huge mustache and he was, try to fuck up, try to fuck up. Yeah, that's the one of my kids do, they say fuck a lot. And this guy, one day snapped on Leo, poor Leo was in the kitchen making a butter sandwich Y'all not the butter Hi Ted hi Ted hi, bye. They were repeating our names. He was like shut the fuck up and grab the knife Oh, sir, and he was like oh fucking kill you

All right, and I grabbed the knife back, which is you know supposed to do you didn't but I grabbed the knife and I was like I'll fucking murder you! You fucking cock sucker! You're gonna never fucking threaten me! No, I think I was fucking streaming out and he's like, I was just like, shut the fuck up! You're gonna fucking scare me and scare me and I put the knife up and he was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and he backed out.

How nervous for you? I was nervous dude, this fucking dude, he's a monster. He sounds like a cool place. It was a fucking monster. Leo was eating the sandwich Well Leo ran No, I fucking this guy really got petrified once I I shouldn't That's not the rule

Now you get fired over that one I worked it for three around two three Yeah. I'll tell you this. I worked it for three, around two or three years, I think it was three years. He never, ever fucking ever had an outburst again and around. I'm sure. Never. And the guy upstairs, Pete, who this guy never got up, never got a monkey's name, the name's the perfect.

The kid I worked with, the guy Pete never got up, ever, ever would get up on time. Always laid for his job, always missed the bus. He's like Reggie. And they told me, listen, this is, he's a problem. Just do your best. I would sit on the end of his bed and I would, I would at around eight o'clock. I'd wake up at seven thirty and I would sit there

and go, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, and I tap his foot, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, get up, Pete, Pete, get up, Pete, and he would fucking mother fucker asshole. Wait, so you don't have any backup? It was just me, and I would tap on him and just say his name, and he'd call me names, fuck you, after a month, after a month of this, I had to go, I had to have my boss had a cover for me, she came back, Pete just wakes up.

I got him to the point where he would wake up by himself, dress himself, have breakfast, and be out the fucking door, 20 minutes early. Early for work, just by sitting there going, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, get up, pee, but what you're not supposed to do. I'm just not, I get fired for that, too, but it's fucking work. Was this like a flight club type of thing?

What the fuck, were you saying, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, and you're saying, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, were you, were you, were you Leo? Yeah. Nobody's got Leo to do that. My kid fucking walks me to the, he'll say he has to go to the bathroom and then out of nowhere, he'll fucking flip out

because he knows it's just us in the bathroom. What does he do? Try to suck you out, suck you out. What? He's got a hip-hop, he's been doing a voice. Sorry, I'm sorry. You suck him off? Hey, look, he's talking here, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, he takes on your phone. Yes, full around a song. But how do you stuff being creepy? No seriously, which is a butter look like. But at least that's terrible. Do you have a big dick? Hey, some of these kids are packing. Yeah, I like, makes a money out of them.

A little weight. Scope, heck. How the fuck do you know that? So they'll take my fucking kids and then they'll take them off. And then they'll take them off. And then they'll take them off. And then they'll take them off. Some of these kids are packing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, like makes a money. I'm a little wait. Scope back. How the fuck do you know that? So they'll take my fucking kids to the bathroom. Yeah, first you got to hide.

I got a wipe his ass. Listen. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. He never had to do that. I'm not a kid in the first one. I got the job. I needed a job.

But I said to her, I go, listen, I don't wipe ass. I don't even wipe my own ass. She said, I made a hookard to set the same thing to me. She said, that was at the top of Reggie's resume. I love there was no way. We got really working threes. Will wipe ass. No, I said, I really, I said to the lady,

I go, I'm not wiping ass. I had high function, they wiped their own asses. I had to deal with poo once in a while Well, somebody one of the shit is pants one night, but you have to wipe their butt man. Yeah, I got a wipe ass Sains pull ups and shit. Shit. Who wipes yours? I'm not all jokes aside Seriously a person who fucking does that for somebody who's handicapped. That's a, that's a pretty fucking amazing thing. I know he's fucking fine.

I'm serious man, that's a fucking, that's something inside of your head. A lot of patients, man. No, who you are to be able to do that. I know it sucks and you don't like doing it, but I could never do it. I could never take care of somebody who needed that. Like, I know that someday, you know, your wife or your parents

or somebody, I guess that would be a different situation because I have a kid now, and of course, I'll, I ain't fucking wipe shit and blah, blah, blah, but a person you don't know, that you don't fucking know and, and, and you're gonna wipe their butt. I mean, that's disgusting. I'm not shaking your hand, but I'll shake one hand. and you're gonna wipe their butt. I mean, that's disgusting. That's funny, Wallace. But I'm not chicken your hand, but I'll shake one hand.

I commend you. No, but that's pretty fucking wild, man. Hey, man, y'all hear that? Hey, honestly, I got heart, man. Well, all agree, Reggie has one of the biggest hearts at anybody we know. Abs, fucking man. And most clock.

That takes a humble person to do that. It really does. I actually never knew you wipe their asses. Yeah, you never asked homie That explains the smell Yeah, do you ever get poop on your fingernail and forget it? I do all the time I mean you get shit like you get shit on your head like I wear gloves But sometimes the kids don't know like this one kid moves around and he actually took the shit like out of his ass Rillers My god

Gorillas do that Not there Yeah, I was at the DC He's gonna walk you into gorillas. All right. What do you need? There's no racial stories good animals. What the fuck up? He's gonna walk he's in the guerrillas, all right? What do you mean? There's no racial stories. There's no good animals. I shot the fuck up.

What? Finish your story. I love you now. No, no, it's, you know, you deal with that shit all day. Every day you fucking, I wear gloves and face masks on all so I get real protective. It's like an apron and all that stuff. But, you know, it still happens.

It's just your guy, right? I change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, right? I change. Is it like a shift? Do you have like a shit shift? Like if, what is one kid that just shits all day? So the girl that works with him, we take turns. Like, you know what? So there's one guy that just shits a lot and because of his stomach and you guys take turns with that.

Yeah, yeah. Now, how many people do you take care of? One, a bunch of people? I work with one kid throughout the day but we're all in one class. So we all take turns, switch off kids and shut up. So you know this kid Yeah, I know this kid and you got it. There's something in your heart that loves this guy. I don't know about love

But hey, man, he's a good kid sometimes How long you been working there two years? I'm fucking those guys I worked with Barry Charlie MP What about stababby? You miss him? It's sad to be used to kill at the back table with the seller of those guys.

I don't know. I give any none, retarded names. They're all like, we're fucking retarded. You gotta say, you can't say that. I think it's challenge, challenge. It's mentally, they change. It's special. I was there when they changed it to MR.

It was retarded. It was when I was working there. It was you call them retarded. That's like when Tucky Fry chicken switched it up. You say retarded. It was retarded. It was when I was working there, it was you call them retarded. That's it. We're talking Friday chicken, switch it up. You say retarded. It's retarded now. It's that?

You did not, you cater, we know if you say retarded in this building, it like a alarm would go off like that. They'd say an inward. Yeah. Yeah, isn't this building? Yeah. You here.

That's terrible. Yeah, no, it's, they switched it over to MR. I know, no, no. Then they switched it again and now it's on some else. But I love those guys. I used to go, I used to take Barry, who had Down syndrome. He had, you know, those guys, they usually go bald. They have long tongues. Whoa.

I used to put him on the back of my motorcycle, put my helmet on him, it didn't fit. Get the fuck out of here. Did you strap him in? No, I just told on him in, he'd fucking hug me, and I'd, we go to lunch I take a hot dog My head is own book of caretaker. Wait, what if you let go? I fucking fell And see him

I was on the couch all night. Nothing would hurt it. It must be how folks in it I wouldn't go anywhere No, he was high I was crazy to club with them. I wouldn't take him outside We went to a picnic one time and this kid was ready to set the club with them. I wouldn't take him outside. We went to a picnic one time, and this kid was ready to jump off the wall. He was ready to jump in the water. Like it was crazy.

I couldn't have a very high functioning. So it is a difference between what you're dealing with and what I'm dealing with. But I really cared for him, and there was people, I worked with lower functioning people at this other house. But you have to have two years with that kid. Has he ever showed you any love or compassion? After he goes off, he'll hug me. And I'm just like

it. After my shirt is ripped, after my shirt is ripped and I'm scratched up and I'm bitten, he'll come and hug me. Sometimes I'll go in for the hug, but sometimes I'll just like get the fuck off me. He hurts you. He hurts me. Maybe that's the way he loves you. No, he can't communicate. He kicks his mom in. Well, he's, he's, he's out.

Yeah, all right. All right, well, that's crazy. It's turned into Oprah real quick. You're sharing his retarded stories. It's a reverse Oprah. It's mentally retarded. Oh yeah, damn, fucking scopos are retarded. Well, you, that's a pretty amazing patient.

I mean, you have to be a certain person. I could do it. Look, man, he could go get a every time. Well, you were, you mean, that's a pretty amazing patient. I mean, you have to be a certain person. I could do it. Look, man, he could go get a job anywhere. Well, we couldn't. No. That's where you're wrong, Mr. Kelly. This man has no quality of the patience. I assure you.

Yeah, did you get fired? I got nothing either. Yeah, fired up and heading out for large, didn't you? Yeah, Tommy fired me from that. I didn't fire him from that. That's not true. Why did you find him from that, it's not true. Why did you fire him out though? That's not true, he worked at my job for one day.

What's your job? I work at a TKTS in Times Square. What is that, the ticket place? Yeah, you know where they have to scout out. You want to punch in a phase down Times Square? Is that because you give away, you sell tickets on the streets? No, I don't sell tickets.

I'm like an information person. What's your, all right, relax. I'm just gonna take you. Thank you, different. All right, Jesus Christ. I don't sell tickets. I'm like an information person. What's your, all right, relax. I'm just gonna take you, thank you. Thanks, difference. All right, Jesus Christ. I don't sell tickets. I don't, I'm not a middleer. I had my subplises.

I don't have a high cheesest C in B room. No, have you ever been to TKCS? I, no, I just get, I buy them. Okay. I don't care about discounts. Yeah, it's just people come up and I'll be like, do you guys have any questions? And there's like two shows that I work for,

so I like kind of try to like. What's the shows? Perfect crime in the Fantastic's. So you work for the Shows? I work for the Snapple Theater. Right, I'm not that simple. And it gives the young Apple. It's corporate, Bobby.

Fucking the Fantastic's. Who's the longest Fantastic? Showing New York. No one has it. I swear to God, fucking. Theater is like porn. Everybody's the longest show in New fantastic. There's no way I'm a mom long Broadway show. Okay, but so so you're off Broadway person. Well, there's Broadway on the top and there's off I know I know that I know that Broadway you're not Broadway these are some information if you want tickets to the red bird he's got a little he got a little pitch to like a little say you put your

I don't know the I mean well I'm gonna I'm gonna I just told you fantastic show hey how are you how's it going I'm good how are you I'm fantastic what do you see today I don't know what do you got do you want a musical or a play I would like a musical okay do you want something funny or something dramatic? I would like something funny and dramatic. Oh, okay. Well, there's the fantastic switches. The longest running play on Broadway.

Let's try this again. Let's try this again. All right, here we go. Hi, how you doing? Well, what do you want to see today? I don't know, what do you got? Well, again, it depends on if you want to... You got to lick them.

I've never been here before. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, if you got a link again. I've never been here before. Oh, okay Well, yeah, if you want a musical comedy, I would love a musical comedy. Okay, let me tell you about the fantastic He's gonna get you the way I want to do I want to do a one-time. How do you think I'm gonna end it? I would ask you that okay, how you doing? What love it there. There we go, ready? Hi, how are you? I would ask you that. Okay, good.

Hey, how you doing? What's up? What's going on, dude? Oh, not much. What do you think about seeing it at? I don't know. Something dramatic. No musical though.

I don't want musical. Oh, you want to play? Yeah. Oh, I got a really good show for you. What's that? It's called the Perfect Crime. It's actually the longest running. I want to see the fantastic.

What about the fantastic things? That's the musical. You said you wanted to play. I fucked up. Give me a up give me a Wait are you walking around time square by yourself? What do we got in the chat room depot and in your chat room go to your chat room Irish phase seven says seven people I hope no one speaks over anyone else Dying bag me too. I think you're doing all right. Yeah, yeah, it's been good so far get a little fucking I told you shut up I think we're doing good.. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a bit so far. Get a little fucking, I told you to shut up. I think we're doing good.

You got to start warning early on. Dime bag me too says, holy shit, I didn't even see the black guy. Is the lights bad? No, he's just blind. And I'm also been about a black guy joke. I'm kidding. I was trying to add to the joke. All right.

I'll take that to you. You want to cut that in half and I'll take it. I got rock Mikey says saw Bobby and Scopo in Arlington last week and Scopo was hilarious. Whoa, that's a first. That's Scopo tweet right now. Oh shit, how'd you get me? You're on your phone as we speak. What about me?

We're always fucking hilarious. Yeah, I think I'll just I'll take that. I like how your face just lit up. He's like, okay, I guess I'll put it in. You think face just lit up. He's okay. I guess Think you do well, and then he goes up and it's like oh fuck I suck it. What time bag me to says scopos the broke man's Mark Wahlberg Hmm, I fucking take that. Yeah, hey, what do you get my chat read the latest one Ramsey Omar says look how comfortable Scopo looks around it all his open-mic buddies Hey, when you're right you're right What's that prick's name open mic buddies. Hey, when you're right, you're right.

What's that prick's name? Tough guy. What else you got? They're talking about the how it's stern thing that happened last week with R.E. Shafir? Oh, yeah. We'll go back. I do want to talk about that.

I don't even really know what happened. I'll explain to you what happened. Last week, how it's stern brought up podcasting on the show and pretty much just said it shit. It's just you know it's a garbage it's you're not gonna make it there's no way you can be successful at it. If you want to be successful what he was doing is is saying basically, I'm in broadcasting, real broadcasting. He went through the fucking trenches.

He had to go and work in Hartford and be paid nothing and build an audience from scratch on regular terrestrial radio. And then build it and bring, made all these fans into terrestrial radio, which is fucking impossible to do. And now everybody and their mother we're all trying to be Howard Stern.

This is basically what I'm, I don't care what you're doing, you're doing Howard. If you're a comedian and you're doing interviews and you're fucking trying to joke around and have fun and make people laugh, you're basically doing what Howard invented on radio. It's just a technology cut up so that we can fucking by Zoom R24, get a bunch of microphones

and a MacBook Pro and do a show. Oh, you need Indian too. But, or do video, you need Indian. You're on a video, you need Indian, right? Mentally. But I mean, really, I mean, we're doing a live TV show that's being fucking produced, edited on the fly. Right now, that's crazy technology.

And he, you know, he was like, I understand where he's coming from. And it's like, you know, fucking what the fuck are you doing? Well, it's bullshit, podcasting stupid. I did it, you wanna be a broadcast, you do it the way I do it. And I already basically, I think, went on the Rogan show, it was like, this guy's out of his fucking mind. He's trashing podcasting which a lot of guys make a lot of money doing

Bob. He's out of touch. He said he's out of touch. He's out of touch. He's out of the blood. You know, but I mean Stern, he has a point when if you listen through it and not get offended and understand what he was trying to say because he is the top guy. He's like the Michael Jordan. Yeah. Michael Jordan doesn't know what the fuck's going on with a local basketball team. You know what I mean? He knows who thought the pros and how what he did. And he's the motherfucker.

So there's a disconnect between me and Hojsterren. It's a new age though. It's a new age, but how it's turned was around now. I don't think guys are making real money at podcasting. That's the over 100. But the thing is, that's not true. You're not over 100, top 100 pocket more than that. No, no, I would say less than that.

But you also have to be making money, making good money. But Bob, what, you have to look at this here. You have to look at this like, you might, I don't know how I've seen much more. Did you see my mouth? Yeah. Mr. Kelly. I'm coming, Bob. All right, might, I don't know how I've seen it. How much more? Yeah. Mr. Kelly. I'm coming, Bill.

All right, Bill. I have a representative from... Well, like, you might not make a lot of money from ad revenue on your podcast, but you get people out to your shows that allow you to tour the country. Yeah, but we're talking about, what Howard Stern is talking about is doing it for a living. Right. Like what he does. But that doesn't exist anymore.

Nope. On podcasting or on radio. On radio that doesn't exist. Yeah, that absolutely does. Not really. Absolutely. There's three conglomerates on all the channels. And since you're out of your mind,

I do fucking radio every weekend I'm on the road. I have to go in a day early to do it. One or two or three radio shows because that's how you sell tickets. People, comics said ask anybody, tell anybody, you go into a fucking club, you're doing morning radio because that's where you're gonna sell a ton of your tickets because radio,

locally people listen to. I'm doing a show next week with Mike Calta. Cal, Mike Calta during the morning who was, you know, privacy cow at in Tampa. He makes a great living was, you know, privacy, Cal Ed in Tampa. He, he's, he makes a great living, but, you know, he had to work his way up from afternoons and getting fired and radio stations going out of bed, coming back, working it up.

Now he's morning, he's got to build that up. Is he ever going to be Howard Stern? Who the fuck knows? But he's doing unbelievable. Sure. Radio is saying that still operates like that. The way Howard Stern came up, I still like that today.

I say, no, I don't, no, it's not the way Howard Stern came up and can there be another Howard Stern? I don't think so. But, no, no, that is nothing to do with Howard Stern. I'm saying that was, oh, you talking. So, I mean, the lips are very thin. I can't see you in the mouth. Yeah.

That's our ghost. He can't go from a black guy to you. I mean't see you in the mouth. So go from a black out of you. It's gonna be like. I mean, there was, there was a lot of, there's not that many independently on radio stations. But here, but here's a thing. This is what a Howard Stern went on the next day. Let me finish the story. I feel comfortable. He went on. What the? Look at it. Bobby got me. Just bite them and you can smell.

Get some bees in here. Hold on, it's like a regiment. What? Give me the towel. Dude, you did an act out. Hey, we're on camera. Hey, let me borrow those. Actually, this is what I want to have two of these because you went like you did the sound

What are you fucking performing for kids? That's all he's got actually On Sesame Street here Maybe get me audition Yeah, they need a new Big Bird Well, here's the thing, look, first of all, let me just say this, Aari Shafir, I love so much. One of my favorite comics, people,

I've been a fan of his before we were friends. Aari Shafir, I've fucking, I hung out with him in Denmark. He's just fucking awesome. And he's a good guy. A pinionated can be crunchy, funny. He's just a great guy. I really do like him.

And Stern went on the next day. I guess he, you know, someone had listened to Rogan's and he just fucking, who is this fucking idiot? And he was like, we should have him the show, so I just yelled him. He's not even funny. He's nobody. He's in his 40s and he's nobody which it's like, you know

Come on Lewis black didn't make it till he was 50. Yeah, I mean you can but I understand what I understand where it's doing Was coming from because we're all basically he's sitting there going you guys are all doing what I did Mm-hmm, and you'll never do what I did You know they mean if you want to go try and be me, go do it my way. Do it the hard. What he's basically saying is go, go get a shit job and get paid nothing and a shit town and work your way up to this.

If you're thinking in a podcast and become me, you're out of your fucking mind. I mean, that good for Ari, though, or how it started and went on the air and chill on it. You know what it's kind of good. This is why Ari's so fucking smart. And why is he, I would have probably been either sad or bummed out because I love him.

You would have on the show. I would have let him yell at me. I'd do something. Not that bad. Not that bad. And I'll baboo-y baboo-y baboo-y. Robin good to see you. I love him too, like literally.

I would have, yeah, he are he goes on and does a video He's just thank you very much mr. Stern calls mr. Stern for talking about me I can't tell you how much I appreciate that but he was honestly gone a little passive grassy But really going thank you so much. I just want to tell you a little something But there's a thing called Google and what you can do and he goes to this whole fucking but there's a thing called Google. And what you can do, and he goes to this whole fucking passive aggressive, Rory Conti. Yeah, because you probably have a net scape,

but anyways, and he goes, it was pretty funny, his retort back, but here's the funny thing, I think if Rory was ever on the show, he would love R-Shafir, he would love his comedy, he would think he was funny. It was just brought up in the wrong context, and it was kind of weird because I think he doesn't understand us

what we do, that the technology is there, but it's like, you know, look, some people don't have iPads and like, why do I need that? Until they get one to go, oh my god, this is the fucking greatest thing in the world. And then they can't not have it on them. That's how I filled it by my iPhone 6., so that's how I feel about my iPhone 6 Yeah, that's how I feel about easy pass

But it's like what's your job It's a told-tooth guy. He's a warrior. Are you a lawyer? I have a lot of agree, but I just do like template go work You pass the bar. Yeah, you're hanging out with these like template go work. I'm like kind of like a big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big Count book keeping and stuff. How you an account? No, you're just good with numbers. You're just smart I wouldn't I mean you numbers are you smart sure? He's a numbers guy. I wouldn't say smart, but I'm just good with numbers You're good. You be smart. Of course you have to be smart to work. I guess I mean we're gonna fucking law form Doing their numbers. That's pretty smart law form. Yeah A law firm. Yes, all right. Let's not correct. We will make mistakes with words. Okay.

Well, they do that shit to me all the time. Oh, yeah, he's a king. He's a sugar-stained man. They should help you. Me, it's my show. No, you're a lawyer, but you work where? In Queens. At what?

And a law firm. A law firm. At a burger. You work with mentally handicapped kids, and you help them. You usually get beat up and you wipe them. You wipe them up. You're a waitress.

Comedian in an actor. You're a waitress. Let's get this straight, first and foremost. You're a waiter. Part time. You wait. I really can't call you self a comedian until you pay your bills. All you do in comedy.

That's a fact. That's all I'm going to put it like that. I don't know where it's splitting air. Well, when you meet a fact. Yeah. That's all I'm gonna put it like that. I don't know where splitting is. Well, when you eat a chick, what do you say you do? He works on Broadway. He's on Broadway Empire. He makes up live.

He cuts his hair. FBI, Bobby FBI. You could be in that. Can I trust you? He should get into that stuff. Make up credits. I'm gonna get back to that. What do you do?

What do you do? You just asked. I just wanted to say it against him. Hold me cup credits. I'm gonna get back to that. What do you do? What do you do? I just want to say it against him. I have to rub it in our faces. There were just thanks, man. Six months, I had a pilot. We're good TKTS. As an information person.

So you guys all have day jobs. Yeah, man. You're in the grind. And is there anybody close to not having a day job right here now? Deep who you're paying them that much Bob? He's just not doing comedy People live with his parents We got to meet all right. We don't have to trash the little Indian kid. I love deep who

No, it's fine. You really you're done done with what your day job? I've had a day job. He's at it right now, isn't he? Yeah, you never had him. Is he gonna sit? You don't have a day job. No, I don't have a day job currently. Okay. So you guys are all trying to get out of your fucking day job.

Is anybody close to it? What do you mean by close? Like close to quitting a day job and just doing comedy. I'm close to getting fired. I mean, I work three days a week and I just scrape by on like nothing. That's what I do. Yeah, I work three days a week too. Yeah, look on like nothing. That's what I do. Yeah, I work three days a week too.

Yeah, look man, you'll be surprised at one day you look up and you're like, oh my god, I haven't had a day job but a year and I'm just doing comedy. It's a weird thing how that happens. Or collecting unemployment. Either way, I'm winning. Either way, plug it, baby. I'll take you the way, baby.

Any which way but lose am I right? My man. Not shit. I'm just gonna suck it back down. I lose it. Well, we're gonna take my man. I'll just say second act out. I lose it. Well, we're gonna take a break. I gotta do some ads, but we're gonna come back to the chat room after this.

We're gonna talk about this Irish affair stuff that happened. I wanna talk about the comedy club, which I fucking, it's the best comedy club in the world in the country. I would say one of them, because of course there's other ones that I love. I only tend draft house being one of them, but I don country. I would say one of them, because of course there's other ones that I love. I only tend to draft house being one of them, but I agree.

Comedy on state. God, I tell ya, the father and the mother are just fantastic. Greek people talk about Musaka, and the two daughters are from another planet. I heard they're so high, yeah. They're so pretty that it fucks you up verbally. Like you, I forget, like pretty women don't really affect me, but they're so gorgeous and like next level, beautiful.

And there's, but here's another thing, they're so nice. They're just awesome people. So add that to their prettiness and it literally makes you wanna do do things for them like I was like You know I keep the check They're just beautiful people everybody that works the everybody's cool, but the crowds are fucking insane sold out Most of the shows is just packed and the town is the shit. It's just a great town It's just a great town. It's a little hip-street, you know what I mean?

They got great fucking restaurants. They had a cigar bar there. Maduro, I was there fucking three times in three days, choking down bats, drinking coffee. It was fucking great. I love Wisconsin comedy on state. So if you guys ever get a chance to, you know, MC there, I'll be close by telling me to get there. I'm not gonna get. This place ain't closing. They just, they have the Paramount Theater too.

They own the theater down the street. Now they're bringing in comics who play the theater. So they're not closing down. They're fucking great. This is the way comedy should be done. They treat, I remember sat in there, the girl comes in and she goes, are you hungry? I went, yeah, she goes, what do you want? She takes out, not fucking chicken finger menu, what, what's wrong? I thought you moved. Not a shitty menu, not a pizza place. She pulled out

restaurants that have like amazing meals, like fancy restaurants. Yeah, I got pork chop with a beat salad with goat cheese. Leavety lives like that. They hook it up too. Yeah, they have a great kitchen. The Atlanta got a new menu too. I'll be a theater Atlanta improv, Dan that is month. All right, we are gonna take a, okay, be a waiter. All right, we're gonna take a break. we're gonna take a break you guys listen to live in the chatroom stay in there

You have any questions start asking them now because we're on a like a 22nd delay we don't get them so ask the questions you're a band member you have a band you're a musician you have music Send it to Deepu. Where do we send it at my Twitter at our to Deepu? So we yeah two weeks one, you. Yeah, send it to him. We're gonna play it in the breaks and over a bunch of stuff. We got a music this week.

Yeah, from a band called Dusky Hunters. Ooh. They're really good, actually. How they really? Yeah, awesome. So we'll be back in a few minutes. We're gonna take a PB break. PB break.

We're gonna check his blood sugar. I'm not sure everything's cool. Get him a mountain do. One eye is closing. And she's gonna wipe our asses real quick. And we'll be back right after these messages. Hey. All right, we're back in.

All right, one second. Here we go. We're back in everybody in the chat room by watching this on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe to this channel. If you're watching this on YouTube, hit the subscribe button. Why do we do that, Deepo? So that they can get a notification telling them

when we put an episode out and when we go live. Boom. There you go. How's that for Concision? I don't know what that word means, but that's good. Concision? Yeah, tight sentences, you know, no fat. Just say no fat. It's all meat.

Take it to the Indian and operate the podcast like that. Give it to the Indian. Does it take it to the Indian? Take it to the Indian. I don't think it's take it to the Indian. Take it. Ha, ha. Take it to the fucking Italian to be dumb

when he's taking it to the Indian. That's very true. All right, here we go. I want to let you guys know. Make sure you subscribe to all the shows on riot cast too amazing shows I want you to read some of those shows scopo One of the shows we have on the fucking network. Oh, we got a Comedy metal midget metal midgets. My wife hates me weird medicine. Bailey J show

Yeah Bailey J. Show Yep Okay, cuz some of them are hidden by it. I thought you're such an idiot. Why are you sucking bed the DV Max sports program? Pete and Sebastian, Pete and Sebastian And the glow and the whole podcast. I ever wonder why razors are so expensive scopo. I'll tell you why you want to know why Maybe because razors are loaded up with so much shave technology, vibrating handles, 19 blades. There's so many blades on this thing now.

I see my chin, see that? See that little nick? I've had it for three weeks because of the back blade on the razors. So there's six blades on the front and there's like a seventh blade on the back to get onto your nose, which I've never had really had a problem with. And I turned it and it took off a piece of my chin.

They slice you. They slice you. Well, ladies are pointers, compasses. What's next? What a projector. You can project Netflix on a wall while you shave. Yeah. Stupid. I was sick of paying out of the nose to get a great shave. That's why I made the Switch Fellas to DollarShaveClub.com. That's right. DollarShaveClub.com delivers amazing razors and grooming supplies just for a couple bucks. And Lord knows you guys could fucking save some money in this room hearing all your jobs. Take it master. What do you work? A box?

What is it? I actually use them. It's a good. It's, they are good. It's a simple and smart. It's simple and smart. It's amazing way to save a few bucks, but still get a great shave.

It takes two minutes to get going. And then you never have to worry about razors again. DollarShaveClub.com gives you free handle, which is nice. And it's a nice handle. White, I think with some steel, looks like nickel plated, which is sexy. And then they send you replacement blades for just a few bucks. You can have these blades delivered every month or every other month. Your blades arrive like clockwork Stop squeezing weeks of shave out of a dull razor and start treating yourself to a fresh blade shave Anytime you want believe me when I tell you this, okay? The dull shave club dot com blades are fantastic

I use them my wife uses them on her legs It's it's great. I never had a closer shave ever. Upgrade to a smarter way to shave. Get your shave gear where I get mine. DollarShaveClub.com slash Kelly. Shave time, a shave money. DollarShaveClub.com slash Kelly. That's DollarShaveClub.com slash Kelly. Today, go there right now make sure you go to our website on riot cast dot com and click the

Amazon button use a tweet audio who's a big fan of the show and an amazing just company during our Christmas children's gift drive they they sent us over 100 headphones. They made a deal. Everybody buys a pair of headphones, a tweak to audio, gets 33% off and we match. So they sent us box if headphones. You use them right? That's awesome. Great pair of headphones, can I just say?

Yeah, they are. They're actually very budget pair headphones. They meet all the needs that I require. Mike, non-Mike, different colors. They're actually really good headphones. I swear to God, I wish I have some. Next time you guys are here. Big issue with headphones is that if you have a case

on your phone, a lot of headphones won't fit into the jack. This one, the Tweet Audio headphones have a slim enough jack. Yeah, fits right in. It's great, tweakedaudio.com, use the code word, dude. That's dude at tweakedaudio.comcom 33% off you also get free shipping at a lifetime of limited warranty which still doesn't make sense to me. It's lifetime, why is it limited? All right so we're back.

No we're not back. I will let you know. Okay. We should we have a bunch of stuff we have to put on. I actually want to promote the cigar republic. I don't know, you any guys smoke cigars? Not to young. Not men yet.

Okay, balls have a drop. We do desserts. You take drugs, is that count? We don't cover your mouth, your girl. I don't know. He told us not to talk and he's looking ready. He literally delivered that, that, that, that, that that I should have clipped into my eyes. Like you were doing 12th night together. I didn't know what was going on. I just don't talk. He was like, no, I told you to keep it

down because you when you talk to each other, like if you guys are yapping, I can hear you. But if I'm if you're engaged in this conversation and the things that I have to do, that's fine. But if you're gonna yap to each other, there's gonna be conversations going over my ads, which I don't want. Let's do the dollar shaving handle. I'll give it back to you. I'm good.

Fair enough. I'm sending my route. I got it. Read a script. I already read it. Pitch your pilot. It's canceled. Check out a movie sometime.

Sure. You can get me in it. So we, yeah, go to SkarRepublic.com. If you got, I love the place. And also, there's another place I want to actually, I forget, it's, it's, so got cigar fly these are two companies one is they have a Connecticut cigar Republic and in a Westchester I live cigar Republic great cigars great place to if you're a cigar a fishy and auto like myself and you want a great place where people know what the fuck they're talking about

the guy eerie up at cigar Republic Republican Westchester knows what he's talking about just do a one-shot on me dumb dumb we're promoting it's not supposed to be distracting he knows everything about cigars he's the one you know and he knows what type of cigars I like he knows what cigars I should try to ease into more bolder cigar it's's a great place. They have it in Connecticut. They have it in Westchester. cigarrepublic.com. Make sure you check those guys out. And cigar fly, which is going to the website.

You pick what you like and then they just send you five cigars. I think for 20 bucks, it's really cheap, but I had them send me stuff. I got five cigars. I would have never ever chose in my life at a second. They just I would have never picked them And they were amazing all of them. So go there. It's a really unique way if you love smoking a stug or Sucking on a bat once in a while like a man Who doesn't? Make sure you go to those two guys support those companies. They're very great

And that's it. We're gonna be back in two seconds. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a costifier. It's podcast, it's no rules. Look at the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already sent you the... Grab, can I get a microphone? Oh, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10-no-topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin. That's how it all holds. That's your love part.

I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com The new sleeper. That's the fucking rock and roll. Yeah. Well, thank you, Troy Cwan. You guys have to podcast.

You guys want your sleepers done? You want a professional opener. Closer, sweepers. Troy Cwan from the O&A show, is for hire, and he's not that expensive and he does an amazing job. We got our highlights fully over here, he does our song. You do it? You do it?

Hey buddy. He's all the men. Did you just 19 20s and 10 girl, what do you say, Dolphys? That's coming from it sometime. It's funny, when we were on the break, you said you have a bone to pick with me. Uh, what is the bond my friend? Oh, okay? Rather plug the song to the podcast

You know what I do want to plug you before we get in there. What is your podcast name again? Center City, comedy and it's all you guys. Yeah, and it's once a week Once a week every way. It's on soundcloud. It's on soundcloud. I tune stitcher like yeah I will check that out. I'm gonna I do I want to check it out. I'm a I told you I'm a big fan of you guys you guys are all this is why you Fucking you're all different You're not the same guy. It's what I'm serious. It seemed like in comedy for a while It was the same fucking guy these groups of the same guy were doing the same comedy. And you know, when I came

up, it was, we were all friends, but we were so fucking different. We're all different. Me, there was none of it. When we went on stage, we kind of symbolized, we were all fucking different on and off. And that's why I love comedy because it brings dudes who will, should never be friends. I should never know Patrice O'Neal. I should have never drove him home in my fucking two-door Toyota to the projects. And Satin talked to him for three hours outside and was very scared when he got out of the car. He took off his right home ever.

But you know what I mean? That's why I love it when I met you guys. I kind of felt that at the same vibe. Like you guys are a bunch of guys that shouldn't be together. But because of comedy, you fucking you guys, I kind of felt that had the same vibe. Like you guys are a bunch of guys that shouldn't be together, but because of comedy, you fucking you guys, you know, banning together and creating shit, which I love, I love that stuff. So Senator City Comedy.

Yeah, there you go. What is your beef with me? Now that I said all that. Okay, hey thanks man. I, uh, I was the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm so anxious right now. What is he gonna say?

I wanna know how he is. You got, how we're all different? He's 39 and we're young. You're not 39. Yeah, he is. He is. That's a last week. I'm sorry.

Everything I just said is not for you. What are you talking about? You fail. I'm really happy. You're not gonna make it. We're like a bull. Everything I just said is not for you You fail You're 39 you came up with you should be Might have a pilot that how old you I'm 28. How old are you? 29. How old are you? 27. 26. 26. 26.

What are you looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? You latched onto youth. What? I didn't lie about this later. You were out.

You just ruined me. I have a thing though. I was supposed to come up. Everybody says that come up with burn, retreats, and all them. I was really two years behind all them. I didn't come to New York for two years after they all kind of established. I'm the last one to get here, right?

I came up with Pete Corrielli, Steve Burr, God-free. That was really my class. If you look at it in New York City, I was friends with Burr, Patrice, Dane, all those guys in Boston. I quit comedy for two years in Boston. I went to theater and acting and I didn't do standup at all. And then I came back and they were all in at the clubs. I had to start from scratch.

Like they were all just killing it, getting on stage at Nix and everywhere and I didn't know where to go and I had to like tag along and be the new guy and watch these shit comics get on and Right and then and when I came to New York, it was two years after everybody I moved into Burr's actual apartment that he wasn't living in he just held on to because it was a shit All on the upper aside for a few hundred bucks a month so I paid the majority of the rent and he paid like a hundred bucks and and my class in New York was Steve, God-free,

me and Corielli got at the cell at the same night. God-free the same week. So we all came up together. That was my class. I mean, technically those were the guys I came up with. So I can look at that and go, I'm doing just as good as my class. Instead of looking at Patrice Burr.

And Dave, you should look at your class then. Yeah, you're killing it for your class. Yeah, I mean, Bert Steve Burr and he's yet to zone show. Corrielli had a, I mean a million pilots. You see, you're, this is my class. No, you're my class. Your class was 1976. I'll keep that on.

Thank you. I didn't start doing, let me defend myself. I didn't start doing comedy. Cloud was 33. We all started, we've all been doing comedy almost about the same Yeah So for sure, you started in your 30s start when I was 33 really I lived up here for 10 years And what'd you do up here? Really?

Drug addict I wouldn't say an addict. You're doing drugs now. I wouldn't say was right now People can you turn him up? You still do drugs It's still eats He's been he's been clean for a little bit. No, I moved up here in my 20s 72 hours Move the pair of my 20s. I started acting and stuff like that stayed here for two years. He still does drugs Long story short if you got him baby So you you did you you're an actor here. No, I mean, I wouldn't say an actor. I'd do act the same way he says is a comic

He worked at TKTS Crime here So what you beef with me old man I tell you what it is you young folks with your podcast and 39 you're 40 I'm 43 what am I 44? I'm a freshman and you were a senior for us You're the same you're a native. It's five years. It's these not throwing drugs. You're driving them the drugs Yeah, we're hanging. Hey, we're hanging fully got five more years

Yeah, you got five more years to get to our mat. Wait, but how many don't have it? Give me two How are you two baby? Hurry up I don't want that Toyota We just with seats real quick. I get a bullberry picture next to me. The donut pub. What? The donut pub. Yeah. It's weak. What? It's nothing. All right, first of all.

Some change. Are you nuts? It's not that good. It feels like two wildebeest. I'm the sponsor to foodies going in. They're not a sponsor. I wish they were a sponsor. They're okay. All right, stop. I'm going to stop you right here. You ready? No. No.

Who do you think is better than him? We mentioned it when we were doing the flippers. Just say it. You don't need to fucking defend Peter Pan. Peter Pan in Brooklyn. Yes. Man, how do you say they're better? Now, first of all, I've had Peter Pan.

So I'm not coming when I make I don't know okay great I've had your don't I've had your don't okay now I didn't have them I didn't give me devil science jinx me do you do back Fucking booties back. booties back. There you go. Zimbala beat you.

I've never had the warm, but I just see that. I just see that. I just see that. I just see that. I just see that. I just see that. Deepo's crying. Deepo's mom is an ass.

Deepo just broke up with his girlfriend, he said. All right, good. Oh, wow. Anyway. Yeah. Sorry. All right. Anyway, so donuts.

Okay, I never had the warm, but I'm going to tell you the cream they use at Peter Pan cannot be matched. Okay, first of all, I never had the warm, but I'm gonna tell you the cream they use at Peter Pan Yeah, cannot be matched. Okay, first of all, I've had the cream at Peter Pan and I agree they're a great donut It's a great donut company, but let me tell you Now donuts I'm gonna put the system on track now you've been with me at the donut pub when and what do I do? What is my MO? Do I go when there's not fresh donuts? No, first you go and you tip the guy 20 bucks to make sure. 20 bucks. I don't know what you're getting.

I don't have the Bobby Kelly VIP treatment. You could have it if you had next to fucking 20. If you had a double bearing, you pocket stop trying to fucking book street. He walks into the donut pub, he's walking to a bar, bouncing, gives the guy a 20 to walk in. Grease the palm. I mean, it's like the good fellas. You have walking to a bar. Bouncer gives the guy a 20 to walk in Greece a palm I mean, it's like the good fellas. Yeah, I will. Every time you two every time Don't you two work Tony a couple of crawlers over here

A couple of boys Yeah, get whatever you want it's on me. It's all taken care of that's what he did the waiter comes over Just want to pay the check here's You just prank 15 granny want me to do his kid. I told him for he clasped I just had the coke It's the old age he doesn't really you're not soda dementia He's keep yapping this sort of shuts up when he gets a good one Now you got my head to the mold. Oh, now you're fine. Oh Oh you are you are old you're 10 years old than everybody so I'm not gonna

All your friends, but could you tell your main tell I look young baby. I want to finish this thing We'll go back to that you fucking insecure I'm not insecure Look at all you The most insecure person you just made the mad No, I'm mad at you because I'm going to have to have a nine hour phone conversation. Oh my god. He's going to be a night. Oh yeah. I want to fold. I want to finish this. First of all, when you go into the donut pub and you got them, you can't just get the donuts off the shelf. What's you look in the back there cooking donuts at certain times.

I go there and as I walk up, I go, here's a 20. You bring everything hot to me first. Me and my friends, we get first choice of hot donuts. So we sit at the bar, we all get milk, magic mic is hanging out, teaching us some tricks. And as they come out, they bring over these hot donuts. And we turn this way over there first, like you're a hot donut. I'm like a hot donut. A fizzy lifting. So they bring over the hot donuts.

And you, you put, there's nothing like a cake, old-fashioned, dipped donut that's out of the oven. Some fucking dude is using a 100-year-old recipe. In the same spot they made them 100 years ago. And he bringing them out hot and he's giving them to you and you put them down your fat face There's nothing better and the for me. I don't like all the fucking crazy shit they do with donuts all the creams and the film and the And the stuff I get it I get get it. But just a regular cake donut dipped in glaze, hot out of the oven, there's nothing better in life to me. Okay, you made my cake straight down.

The first conversation, all right. You don't want to give me nothing, you just gave me everything, because here's the reason why. All right, why am I scared? I didn't mean to give, I thought I was gonna show you up, I didn't mean to give you, wait, wait. I gave him a bowler.

Shut the mic, shut the mic. It has to be the perfect condition. They got to be hot You got to slip me 20 right out of the shower boom all this stuff That's so expensive. I'd be right. No, that's that's actually the good the condition. You should have it don't it Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I walk you don't get a band for three days I like I'm gonna Peter paint a four in the morning. I'm getting it awesome down it. How they open it for in the morning Possibly no they're not if you know the right guy, all right? They close mother fuck and that's another reason why I'm better because Donut pub 24

Fuckin set you can only get them twice a day where there is good as you say they are no All the Twice a day the donuts I like they make. They make hot donuts all day. A lot of donuts. Okay? All day long, they make hot donuts. Okay. Twice a day, the ones I like come up.

I know. But he's gonna get them the hot donuts. I got it, we're gonna get them. What is it named the Babagan-ish? 24 hours, a fucking day. I can go to get a hot donut. You can? You can.

You can. You can. You should have VIP you should be IP not a 20s to be I'm gonna take you there. I'm gonna take you guys all there. Can I just have the 20? That'd be cool You guys are sweet fat like y'all sweet guy like I don't give a shit what are you regular? He's Please let this bomb I want to hear this I'm proud food fan working a black room joke I'm here this fucking fraud food fan working a black room joke Sweet fat

Like people be sweet fat That's a stage name. See don't us, but don't us a great Nice try to come in to the wire. I want to go to the chat room real quick. What's up with those guys? Dracula crime us as Ralphie got stuck in the subway. We were supposed to have Ralphie today. I guess there was a theory. Ralphie was supposed to be on today but he couldn't make it so there you go. Fuck you TV says Deepu is the son of a doctor. He's never moving out. I disagree. We don't. How much of a delay is on these things? It's going to stop. I'm going to explain. This is Deepu's shot. Deepu fucking filters through what he thinks is worthy and he puts it in his little note pad now go to the fucking bob kelly chat

james past we says kelly has the same passion for food that most people have for amateur porn okay that's a compliment hurt my feelings and you call me kelly jenny will excuse me what else you got in my chat in the fun fun chat the fun fun chat the cool guy Jack A cool swit says who's the black Ralphie May look alike in there. I'm not as big as Ralphie I don't know if they stink because of the way deep who's reading them or what

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff I think it's him oh I think it's him too what oh what fuck what? Fuck your TV says, cigar's stink. Carlin said it best. Jesus Christ. Apparently Dupu didn't though. You know who didn't like him pick it up at room? The fuck man. My boy CQ.

Who? My boy CQ, he follows me. We like Twitter. Talk about Colin Quinn. Yeah. CQ follows you. Yeah. How did you just bring that up?

Yeah, I mean, he said George Carlin, You dummy. Oh, George Carlin. Oh, I don't know. Hey, I'm saying George Carlin. Reggie, what did you say? CQ? When did you ask you calling Quinn to follow? I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. Asm. All right. He was talking to you. He opened the gate for him once. Reggie followed him home one night. I love you. You don't talk for hours. But when you do you make it worth it You don't fuck around like some people

Everybody look at him Four seconds locked eyes listen, I want to go back to you real quick. Yes, sir It's never you're never too old to make it in this business. I mean percentage I know that percentage wise I mean I wouldn't tell people I'm 40 Well, she's not my opener Well hold on now. I'm hold on good. I've heard I've been trained in the contrary. I'm supposed to be I mean this for myself. I like to be as honest as I can to that. I'm kidding The best part about comedy is this.

It doesn't matter. I got a festival in a week. Just kidding me. It doesn't listen. It doesn't matter. It's gonna be on tips by tomorrow. Oh yeah baby. It doesn't matter how big you are, how fat you are, how what you're made.

Okay here we go. It doesn't matter what you're the one. Your personality disorder. It really doesn't. Here you go. As long as you're as long as you're. Your personality disorder. Right? Here you go. As long as you're funny, and you're, see that's the problem.

That's the problem, not it. Continually trying to, that's go pose it go to, hang on. Continually try to fucking be a better comedian and be funnier. You'll always have, I guarantee you that you'll always have a stage to perform on, and you'll always have a stage to perform on and you'll always

progress. You might not progress as fast as these young bucks because they're faces. They could be new faces but if they're looking at all these guys, look at this kid. You're a frying pan. Well, in the 1800s. Tommy, get my yibba picture You were you a good looking one the atomic guns No, did you find I'm kidding way good. I know what you're it doesn't matter do lose like I said lose black made it was 50 Yeah, he's funny though. He's he's funny. I would imagine right what say that again I'm sorry. You use it right?

You use it my bitch, you're pooping it's my pants. You're pooping? You're pooping? You're pooping your fucking Jeff Ross. Get in the lights, perfect. Boo. No, I don't, look at youth, I think. It's a scary thing because when you're younger,

if you make it fast, which happens a lot, you know, some people can't handle that. Some people make it really big and then it just fucking drops out from underneath them. And then their hair's gone and your fucking looks are gone and all of a sudden you're older and people like who the fuck are you? Look at man, you look at a guy like Louis or whatever. You look at most guys that are very successful. It's not because of what they look like.

It's not because of their abs. It's because of their comedy. And they're usually in the afforties of fifties. The motherfuckers of stand up are in the afforties of fifties. That's it. Well, here's the thing that you mentioned that is, you know, when you're young and having a fast, when I was in my 20s,

I was as much of a message I am now. That's 20 years ago. That's half a million. I was in my 20s in the 20s. All right. When you were in your 20s when disco was in. Oh, he got like that. If I won't look bogey.

Perfume's was a good thing. Age didn't exist. Let's check, no, you're fucking. All right, listen, when I was in my 20s, I was a different person. I was even more insecure than I am now. I was a complete mess. And it wasn't until I went back to Philly

and quote unquote found myself and realized who I was and met all these guys that I realized who I was and what I was supposed to do. So I wouldn't be the same comic if I were to came up with you guys. You know what I mean? Like me being where I'm from and us doing what we did together in Philly and doing what we do together here

is what defines me I think. That's my high blood sugar. Okay. Well, I mean, look, it is what it is. It doesn't matter. I don't think that defines you at all. That's your thing. You just started when you were 33

and these guys fucking started when they were fucking 12. I mean, it doesn't, but you couldn't tell that I was older than them. No, I couldn't tell. If you took it hat off, I'd probably be able to tell. He's got a great head of hair. Oh, does he? Yeah, you look like a fat neighbor, Gatsy. You look like neighbor, Gatsy, if he worked with him. Who's that? One of those fucking autistic kids. He doesn't know Nate Barclay. No, he doesn't.

He doesn't. What is that? Let's go. Who is he? Google him. You've been in the business this long enough. You should talk. What do you mean, 60?

I'm sure. He's so defensive. He's a really insecure guy. He's going to cry. He's going to cry later. He's going to be ugly. You just gave us the rest ammo for Jesus Christ. You just gave me a window for an ex little relapse.

Thanks a lot. It's gonna be a bigger pantonite. Listen man, look, I'm fucking sitting here at 44. And you know what I mean? You're doing great, I know, I ain't following. But hey, no, I'm doing good right now. You're doing great. I've done great and I've done, you know,

it goes up and down. That's just it. Mee Patrice, you talk about this all the time this business is a is just a ride you go up and you go down And you go up and then there's a point where you got to get off and go back in the line some guys have that fucking Disney Hollywood VIP they can get back in the line quicker Yeah, the fast and some guys have to go to the back of the fucking line. That's it. So it what's that one is the right go up for you.

Yeah, it's good. I was not even in the park when you get to when you get the great adventure. Uh, at last week, didn't you have a good time? Not a great time. All right, here you are. That's fucking with you. No, I know what I'm saying.

I know you're fuck with me. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not snapping at you. I'm just this should do. That's your emotions. Some of these phones on the table Yeah, somebody's my it's mine. Sorry He happens to him too. How crazy is that that happens? That's like 15 times a podcast? So anyways, I Sorry, guys

No, but what what happens is is that all of a sudden the things that were, oh my God, to you become regular or not as exciting because you're familiar with it. It just always happens. Not that you become ungrateful, but it's just familiar. So you come with me. That was a great time. Me and you, we did the road. If you did that a year ago, it would have been even holy shit.

But now it's kinda like, hey man, I can do this. I'm hanging up a bar by no one with friends. So it's not as exhilarating or as exciting, not to say that it isn't as fucking cool, or you didn't like it as much, but that was a great moment in your career. You went up, you went on the road,

you with me, and you kicked ass too. There's been times when you did me, you didn't meet a yoker. You know what I mean? I always told you, get funny, you're, keep going and you're doing the work at these fucked up clubs all the time. You're just bossing your ass. Now you have the opportunity. We went on it one of the best clubs in the country and you kicked ass and the owner was

there. And the manager said, you're fucking great. the best guest spot that has ever been there. So opportunity meets that preparation and there you go, you know, not to say that you get a user. I do stuff that was fucking coming on that one. The 20 years with someone else back. But I mean, you know, with you too, that I love that you guys you're not you're not doing it by yourself You're out there fucking helping each other out. Yeah, here's the thing like what you were saying like even even what why are you guys laughing?

Defending himself or not Kind of off or even a conversation I love that you guys are fighting for ever in a conversation. I love that you guys are fighting. I'm just wondering if you're doing the body part. I'm gonna fight. I'm gonna say like, you know, some of our other friends that came up a little bit

before us are doing very well, like Monroe, Martin, and Derek Gaines, you know, like people that are like our actual friends, you know, they're actually getting stuff and, you know, headlining and stuff. And when you see guys, get it. To see that, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's because you got, I'm sorry, when you see guys getting it though,

that's more of a sort of, but you guys understand, like this is one thing that we, we think this fucking thing is a mystery, magical, chasing a unicorn or finding a pot of gold. It's a job. I don't anymore, that's what I'm gonna say. It's a fucking job. That's it.

So if you work hard at your job and you show up every day and you try to become better and you surround yourself with great people that are positive and try to do the same shit. And you guys help each other out. That's the business, by the way, when people above you help you, and when you're above them, you help them.

I mean, look at Schumer. She put everybody she could in her fucking mood. Yeah. I mean, everybody, all of us had a little part or a big part. Colin Quinn Quinn same shit Kevin Hart with his friends Right fill those people, huh?

Philly we see K Dennis even dang dang cook You know he fucking Gary me Jay Davis. Yeah a bunch of people. There's all these people that help people Joe Rogan Oh my god fucking takes nine guys with them on the road follows he follows killers Billy Burr is doing it so that that's the the thing that's what we're supposed to do but it is a job it's a fucking job so if you 44 how old are you 44 whatever you are whatever age you are 62 right yeah whatever age it doesn't matter you know and you're hanging out with a bunch of fucking Young guys that will probably get something so they'll help you

I get to play the uncle. It's all I want No, you have the mystery the mystery. I'm starting to like go over my favorite of all these people everything Thank you everything. I'm kidding. All right cool right here Everything that we're doing together because we do we do is we do because we do a lot of stuff on our own. We're just not waiting for anything. We're just going out and doing it. I'm very content with the work. I'm happy with the work.

I'm happy with what we're doing. So I'm not worried about that kind of stuff. You got to do it on the shit too. It can't just be, you can't just make money off of stand up, right? You can. We're all doing it on the shit. But it got to be other shit. Either acting doing our own stuff productions all that kind of shit I mean look I don't think that you I mean yeah, this guys are just to stand up

Of course you can make money just on stand up, but I think that it depends on what you will I never wanted to be I always wanted to be able to act when I first started stand up I started with Peter Kelly my acting teacher in, who was like the number one guy. I've been working them for over 20 years. So, you know, I mean, I always worked with him. That's why, you know, when I was in Boston and everybody was kind of doing stand up and hustling it out, I got a, I got a movie, I got my first movie.

And it was a real movie, you know, we, you, we had to go away for two months, not away from, I was in the city, but I was doing this for two months. Then I got a play, and that was like four months of rehearsal, and then it was a month of production. Five was a six days a week doing a play. And then after that, I got another movie. And then that's when I, after that, I came back to comedy, like, oh, fuck, and that's when it fucking sucked, because every was so much better than that. You know, and I that's when I after that I came back to comedy like oh fuck and that's when it fucking suck because

Everything was so much better than that, right? You know, and I had to I had to catch up and I did that when I moved to LA I moved to LA for two years. I booked a pilot and it was I was out there just waiting for something to happen and never did and then I was suddenly I saw Jim Norton and and I saw you know Steve and and all dove and and Pete and everybody was so much better than me It's stand up because they were here hustling it out and and Pete and everybody was so much better than me at stand up They were here hustling it out in New York and that was like fuck it. I'm out. I'm gone I went back to New York and I was like I got to become a better can't stand up. See we're doing we're doing we're doing both Right we're doing all I did a play this summer Listen to his credits. What was the play?

Wasn't it pop goes the weasel goes the weasel. Yeah, was he selling it? play. Was it pop goes the weasel? Yeah. Was he selling it? Yeah, I think I get in there, baby. He the info. Yeah. But I'm just saying, you got to be your Renaissance man. That's all I meant by it. I mean, you know, got to be you can do I know guys who just do stand up. And that's all they do. And they fucking for Gary gum and is fucking I mean, he does other stuff, but he is focused on his act. Yeah. He is a fucking standup. But even at this level though, you think you make like, a lot of money off of it, like to make a standup? Yeah, too.

How much money I made this weekend? How much money? How much scope oh didn't? Yeah, I do. Let's go back and play the wings. That ain't really good though, huh? No, but I mean, look, the guys selling out theaters, even small theaters, you make a lot of money,

when you're 200, what's your start? Listen, when you make, when you're selling out five shows, somewhere, not that I am, but you can sell it a show, you make bonuses, you make the club money, you're making money at some point. And certain clubs treat you right. Some don't. But, you know, it's all, you know, you progress.

And it goes, that goes up and down too, man. After Tourism, I was making so much money, it was fuck, I bought a apartment, about a $550,000 apartment in Los Kitches. Yeah, but I went from, I went from a one bedroom, I was living in a hallway, paying $300 a month on the opposite side with cockroaches, thrown in my own place. So yeah, stand up.

And that was, I had to go on a tour and work my ass off and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, you can make money, a lot of money doing stand up. But the great part about that is that when you start to make that money, then all of a sudden you can bring your friends. Yeah. Then you can bring a couple of people with you. I'm not Bill Burr. I'm not Amy Schumer.

I'm not even fucking doing small theaters yet. I'm still doing clubs. I'm still hustling out, but I make enough money to have a family in a house and a couple cars and pay my bills. That's all gonna change this year. What? I'm the fuck this poor people shit, huh?

That's all what a pullback there. Shit's all well and good for the mail, man. I'm gonna sing it out. I'm gonna call my Scopo House. Your K-Doh-K-Land? It's called the Innocidious House. You guys all get to live there. Yeah, you get to do stand-up.

I mean, I think you should do all this stuff though, because when you get the opportunity... I want to. I mean, that's... Well, one of the things that comments the bad rap, what are you laughing at again? I meant, I meant, I meant, I mean, I like to. We're on his fifth elevator pitch, I was like,

he's just an elevator pitch, what are you talking about? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm acting, I'm gonna play him, doing this, doing that. I'm doing okay. I was joking. What are you doing? What? Just rolling my eyes at him. Are you doing anything? No, what do you do? I for what?

I'm leaving. We went over that. I want to talk to you for a while. Let's get into it. Just tender. Yeah, right? Age sex location. Wow, you look like Yeah, look terrible someone you look like a villain. Yeah, it's not good Yeah, it looks like you're gonna she trying to take all these guys down. guys down. Could you mad at me? No, what am I pushing it too hard? He look how insecure? What did I do? What I do? What's up? I said that they think that they're picking on you I mean no, I'm worried that I'm I'm over too over the top and I know that he's probably gonna yell at me when we get out of

I'm gonna yell I'm gonna yell I'm gonna yell at him for being late. All right, see all he just fucking bitches it us all day I don't have everybody together Why don't you get bitch dad cuz he's old go pay I'm on the way here. I was at the ATM and he was like you can't respond to a text message He's like trolling my Twitter. He's yelling at me for tweeting Yeah, he's taking a tweet, but he can't fucking text me. Hang on a second, buddy. I'm fucking with you on that.

Thanks, but you're the seriously. What the heck are you talking about? He's spouting it. You want to go get a bowl of soup and a hot cup of coffee? They're raised the same way. You're on the back of the fuck up. Yeah, fuck it. Listen, I agree with you, man.

If you fucking... No, but it's A's two intense, man. I'm the same way So I'm killing but while he's yelling at me at me at the ATM I forget to grab my ATM card and the ATM machine eats it So that just pisses me off even more because of him right bitch in the phone and then what is he going to the ATM in the 1980s? What what still eats to go? I'm sorry. I have a debit card You're very similar to me.

Anyway, you're very similar. I mean, I'd say younger, but you're really not younger. You were saying you five years ago? Two weeks ago. It's, but you seem to, so you yell at these guys? Oh yeah. I get yelled at by him. I get yelled at by Cotton all the time. I yell at him. Just got yelled at me. You yell at these guys. Oh yeah, I get yelled at by him. I get yelled at by cotton all the time

I yell at me you yell at him. Why? Because he's a fucking idiot They go at it. Why is he any why is he in I'll have to back him up on that unfortunately Why is he just constantly doing stupid shit that annoys me and then I got a yell at him and then don't call me and apologize Like we're gonna literally we're gonna have an hour long phone conversation Why would you talk about this? Why would he's a moron? I'm a tick are you mad at me? Did I do something?

See? No, but you're gonna call me He loves does that I'm gonna chew the list Joe list. Yeah, this doesn't add a yeah, you look at you look at chunky Joe list About him to oh yeah, no, this is all chunky. I'm going to bother him too. Oh yeah, this is all shocking. I'm going to the head. Chunky. I know I'm heavy. Oh my God. To give that to me.

Have you noticed the intonation and his voices changed too? I think you're my favorite now. Okay, cool. Because you just copy. I'm sorry. Go back to talk about this. Then lips. Funny.

Remember. Go ahead. What were you saying? Oh, like he's a sociopath. But the intonation and his voice has changed, and he's like, no, I'm good. Are you mad at me? It just always happens. He's like, fuck me.

It's like an abusive husband. You know, you beat some up and then back up. I fuck up. I have to. Look at scuffle, his eyes are down because it's the same way. You think I'm the same as him? him, but you take him to feed You have nobody that yells at you these guys all yelling people yell at me not in this room Is that a are we being attacked?

What is Ralph is Ralph who may be Hang on Is that a drool? No, that's a that's a military helicopter. Oh, no, is a bomb. I'm not come on I was checking your phone please. I don't know what a fucking plane First of all the NYPD has a military great helicopter that would have that rotor blade I don't want that to be it's gone. It's out of here of here could be just doing anything. I think it's still here Reggie check black Twitter see what's going on Fuck out yo there's a big bird in the sky Twitter is real a lot of black Twitter. It's just it's so lunch room

Mr. Barbershop is it's what they do it's a not on it's not name fucking black It's regular Twitter, but it's a black Twitter. It's a white Twitter. Like, we have to fall black people to be on black Twitter. It's the core of a white Twitter. Basically, but if you hashtag white Twitter, you'll see some weird shit. Like what?

Like, one time I did it was a family cut open a well and they were wearing this blood and that was white Twitter. And I tweet meanwhile on white Twitter. That's all it is. You got to follow black Twitter. They hate my tweets for some reason. I love your tweets. No, these guys, they don't like your tweets. They don't like my tweets.

I love your tweets. We hate cotton's tweets. Oh, yeah. Cotton's tweets. Why do you hate cotton's tweets? Because he's stupid. He tweets. He's just whining. He's just whining. And you tweet, Bobby? I don't tweet. I don't like Twitter. I tweet. There's what I'll tweet out.

I'll tweet out photos, gigs. I don't tweet out fucking I tweet, there's what I'll tweet out. I'll tweet out photos, gigs. I don't tweet out fucking like set up punch tag or try to be with him. I'll eat that a couple times. One was real, one was funny. One. I had one funny tweet. Wait, we go to respond to fame.

I really do. I said, I said, black women shouldn't will wipe the other than in the summer because it looks like the armpits are eating ice cream. Okay, that's not bad. I'm tweeting that tomorrow. Thank you, body.

You steal tweets. I'll still there to you. You steal shit from me all the time. What the fuck? What? It's just to do it the piss the most, especially him. You know what to do.

And then I'll get a time. I'll see you get, wait, you're stealing your bones tweets? Sometimes, yeah, just to piss them off. And then I'll get a time. I'll get a, well you're stealing your Vom's tweets? Sometimes, yeah, just to piss him off. And he has a lot of followers. And then I'll get a lot of laughs and he gets pissed. Did you get more retweets and likes than you looked at? Oh yeah, all the black Twitter quote unquote.

I hate all of this shit. I don't want to fucking tell him that he stole your tweet. Yeah, I'll just say, I don't care. I don't respond. I'll just block him after that. Would he block him? No, I have a block to him,

but I'll just ignore him. Oh. How do you block him? No, I have a block that, but I'll just ignore him. Oh, man, Foley's still on AOL chat. So is that joke? Jesus Christ. Holy shit. Let's go to the chat room real quick. We're gonna dial up. Go to Deepo chat room.

Dinebag me too says black Twitter is black people segregating themselves from white, but the white man, do racist oppressor. Word. Yeah, that made sense. Okay, I beg to thank you. Yeah, what the fuck? That's what I get for just choosing a random one and reading it. All right. Let's go with the premeditated one.

Ramsay Omar says, ugly as podcast and why could W.D. History? Oh, no. Oh, thanks. Yeah, that's not true. No, I've seen worse. Stop looking at me when you're talking. Now you're kind of ugly. Got. Bobby doesn't trust Kevin at all

I think you're a good looking guy you're unconventionally good Talking about it looks like Frank and Barry don't lie to me. He's got a unique look He doesn't every day, his full stock line. I'm never heard of this. That's funny, dude, because I remember the guy. That is an eyebrow joke, it's gonna come in a second. Receding hair line. All right. There's a fucking helicopter.

It's back. It could be an accident or something. Wait, wait, wait, it could be a five hour energy, I stole from Seven Living. Hey, what if this is it, and this is it, we're all in here to give it, huh? How pissed would you in the world how piss is you be I'd be fucking excited as shit What are you talking about with us you go down with us? Do the most thing in the room

These guys are all kiss my ass Bobby Kelly and others died No that guy from Louis the bank the bank bank guy Exactly No, that guy from Louis The bank the bank bank guy exactly This would be great if this was the end of the world right now if it had to we're up here And then we go we look outside. It's just chaos and people are dying in zombies and we have a lot of fuckers Yeah, well first of all We're throwing that fully me no me and you are gonna fucking run things with him with you Don't get carried away, but we're gonna fucking say you're gonna be there We're fucking these two. Oh, yeah, we're saying it's go pooh. Yeah, you're gonna fucking set up the infrastructure

I'm the sacrifice You're gonna be the one I was gonna eat but there's always so you're the black guy I know he's go first. You're gonna have to go for you're gonna have to like I'm not going first Then you don't go first, but that you should have at first you wouldn't have got eaten and that's where you get What are they don't fuck with me though? What do they just let me walk in like they just let me go? They can't see you wait who said it zombies that be a great fucking zombie thing. They don't attack black people Like they're always trying to have a new fucking thing on zombie movies if they didn't I would

You guys under the bus I would fake hold on. It's funny. I mentioned that we actually have a treatment That's very similar to that like they don't mention it would think you guys under the bus. I would fig. Hold on, it's funny. We actually have a treatment. That's very similar to that, like, thing. Don't mention it on the fucking air. It's joking. OK, hey, you can be a fucker. He's right at now. He's funny.

He's back 11, just wrote the pilot. He's at Sony. Yeah, I would love to be it. I would love, oh my god. That's my thing. I wouldn't be great. I'm petrified a dying. But if the whole, if the world ended at once,

I'd be totally okay with that. What do you mean, if you, if you, I just, I don't want to, I don't want to, you don't want to. How would you know you'd be okay with it? You'd be dead. No, I'm saying if everybody died at the same time, I'm fine with it,

but I don't want to be the, I don't even know that though, you'd be dead. I'd rather be dead. Because everybody else would be dead. I wouldn't go. You would never know. If I knew we were all dying together.

I would you know that if you're dead. When die the world is ended it's over yeah, I would fucking broad Zip We'd be just fucking blast in these two. Yeah, I'd make them kiss each other Would definitely happen. Oh his little fucking his little wooden puppet rosy cheeks Okay, right or two as you make a scenario would have a trying to find food and shelter Straight to it Hey, you get some firewood nice that's sucking his dick after I fucks

Be a false alarm. No, I would die. I'll just be fucking each other. I'm gonna grab a donut. Actually, the guy comes up, Mike. Can I make that an hour? We're going out. That'll be your own in 10 minutes. We heard the helicopter, we thought, you know?

Yeah, all off here in a helicopter. Yeah, and if the world ended right now, honest to God, and this is it, the only ones in the room, I mean, maybe- We're living. Okay, but this is it, what would your job be? My job. Yeah, what do you think you'd do? Where would you follow up?

I would be the manager. I would tell you guys what to do. Okay, you'd be the manager. Yeah, okay, okay, what would you do, sweetie? I'd be co-manager. I'd be co-manager. I'd be co-manager. sweetie partner. The-manager. I'd be co-manager. Sweetie pie.

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sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, the sexy, I'll have that too. I'm gonna be one of the options. I'm gonna be bullied on your lips. I'm gonna be one of the rooms. Sweetie, listen, what would you know? Yeah, I think I would. I think I would. It sounds like he was sucked in.

Oh, I mean, he's the most nervous man in the world. He'd shave up and cup the balls. What are you thinking, though? I can help develop the infrastructure. Shivon can cook, too. Oh, I like that. Infrastructure this deck. Sweetie. Sweetie girl. Listen to me, look at me. cook too. Oh, I like the infrastructure this dick sweetie

Sweetie girl listen to me look at me. Yeah, what would you do baby? Oh? Oh my god, I baby baby look at me I hypnotized me look at me look at me. It's not flirting with you. Look at Shivon don't embarrass us. Go ahead Honey baby. I want to see all this pans out. Don't be approved. Look at me. What'd you got? You know, I would look at me Stay with me. Don't be a prude look at me. What'd you got? You know, I would look at me. Look at me stay with me. Don't fuck these guys. Look at me. All right, we're all done. He's the manager. I'm in. What would you do? What would be your job, honey? Well, you know, what's below manager? I want to do that. Dick sucker.

Come dumpster. I would help. I'd make lists and you know, this for what? He's the same. I'm blowing him next. I'm going to be throwing him out. What are you talking about? We're going to put you in the kitchen. All right. You go with it. No, if it's a democracy, I need him on my side. I can sway in votes. Well, he's not a democracy. Okay, but I want to put him in the kitchen. That's fine. I think he should be in the kitchen. Nice. A little apron cleaning. I don't. A apron. You don't want. want a neat. You don't want him getting dirty. I want you home. I don't want you out in the street.

He does hands off. The superfect. Some baby girl. You take care of the house. Stay home. We'll bring you to what are you doing? I'm the fighter man. I'm fighting my way out of this. We're going to figure it out. So you're a fighter. Yeah. I'm not trying to stay here It's all that's your outfit by the way In a TV show that's the outfit with the red hat and F. Yeah, all right cool. What would you do?

The blow's open I get the blow jobs What would you be if the world ends where are the only ones left? You got to pick a job. We'll be your job. I'm leaving I'm going back to I'm going to find my parents in my family I'm gonna pick a job, we'll be your job. I'm leaving, I'm going back to, I'm going to find my parents and my family. They're dead, I'm gonna die with them. I'm going back to die with them. Are you leaving us?

I love you guys. We don't need them, trust me. You're leaving us, me. Why the fuck would you leave? They wouldn't even fight with us. First thing I'm doing is stopping at Peter Pan donuts. All right, getting the cup. Ooh, you can take this on now.

I'm bombing, that's what I'm doing. I want to know what you do. The world ends, where is he's the manager? The manager or what? That doesn't make thing. I wanna know what you do. The world ends, where he's the manager. The manager or what? That doesn't make sense. He's not a macy. I'm calling the shots,

he's calling the shots. He's the one directing, keeping everything organized. Wouldn't that be you as the older statesman? We're getting to me. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna fuck it super-seed this guy. I'm gonna fuck it super-seed this guy.

He'll presidentate. V-dode, V-dode, V-dode. There's always a fuck. He's the Congress in the Senate I'm the fucking president checks on balances like I'm in my baby girls gonna take care of the house Okay, and she's gonna take care of She Take it make sure food and everything he's coming out with me because I'm also a fighter

Gonna go get all the stuff she needs for the house I'm a gentle man and whatever he needs that we, he needs just to manage and put things together. I think I'm on that crew with you on red. You're so me, us three, are the ones fighting. We're the ones going out, we're hunting, we're getting the food, fighting zombies, we're building fortresses, making shit, they'll go down. So you're staying with us, you're with us now. You're not going home.

Do I know for a fact my family's dead? You're family dead. So as we get out there, I know for a fact my family's dead. Your family's dead. So as we get out there, I'm shooting the folly in the face. You know what? Jesus, keep the sacrifice. I'm not fighting to come back. I'm taking them out. I wear you at.

Where you at? Do you have any guns? Yeah, we have. We're going to go out and get them. We're going out and get them. So I'll be like the guy at the window, like the sniper type of thing. So you're going to be on the roof. No window.

No window. No window. You're being the roof. But you're gonna be on the roof. Yeah, no window, no windows. You'd be in the roof. Aerial support. But you're gonna be on a roof by yourself and building across the street. This backstab, because you're gonna protect the people coming up to our thing. Who are the other people? I thought we were the only ones like.

Zombies, man, you can't shoot down. There's a awning and a vest of you. Are these slow walking zombies or are they running? There's a here's a deal. They better be slow. If you have no shit. They're slow, but if they get any of our blood they flip out and they can be fast. Oh, no You understand so if they bite you

They can fucking lose their minds and go fast and get us, okay? Okay, you should have been a harder head. Yeah, so like so if say it said it was like a there was other people and all of a sudden They're walking down the street and they attack them Then they get super powers and they can fucking climb up and that's when you Cross John the on the spot. You're the loner. You live by yourself You don't you don't we don't talk to you that much you're over there. I got a rope that comes no I don't want to not talk to Tommy. We got a rope. I want to stay with Tommy then I don't want that Listen man the flip flopper hang your good. He can't rely on his ex. He's got to fucking be in the other building to protect us. We can put a ladder from one building.

There's no fucking ladder that long. He was better. The ladder we're talking about a fake zombie apocalypse. The ladder is a ladder. There's a fucking no ladder. This is a real situation. Oh, it's real? Yeah, there's helicopters.

I think you hear the helicopters. We're new. We're looking outside. I haven't heard anything since. think you're gonna get the hell of a cop! We're new! You're looking outside! I haven't heard anything since! So you're over by yourself. Well, we're on the roof. You come over once in a while, we should stuff over. We have to send one of these girls over to take care of you.

Yeah, I appreciate that. With a picnic at Basket. So, I know it. Right? And you get the main food, you get what you want. Because you're the motherfucker really keeping guard. So you get primo food with... Supp, surprise. And you stay out there no matter what rain snow. No matter what you're hearing here. Yeah, Scopo, what are

you doing besides enforcer besides day, but at night, you know what I am. You put it on fucking candy. You put it on heels. You do some nice shows. Some nice, some grueless. Oh my god. Gruel is hair out too. That's a lot of hair. Yeah.

I'm gonna grow it out. We'll grow it. You're hair out. Oh my god. I used to be a problem. I used to be a fan of zombie movies. Now it's terrible. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, The cameras we can watch everything outside surveillance. Oh yeah, it sounds like we need a cook so I think I can do that pretty

No, I don't watch that shit. He's cleaning. He's cleaning the kid. I thought I was When I cook and fucking curry's every day Mac and cheese, baby, the zombies will smell that shit from a People my way they turn around and walked it away. Yeah, so what are you gonna do? I'm gonna have a Reggie wipe my ass Give me that bentana act. I don't know. Reggie, can you write him a couple jokes too? Where you're at?

Where you're down there? What do you, I say, D. But this is what I say you do. Inventor, right? No, I say you do surveillance. Yeah, he says the camera's outside, so at night. Yeah, but he gets out of, he thinks he's worth more than he is once in a while.

Sure. And then you get, I put him in line. Yeah, you know, he gets one of us killed that way. No, he, no, he gets out of line. And if it wasn't for man, we have to beat him up like really bad once in a while, like punch him in the face. They need to be leading us in the wrong direction. He got the camera.

But here's his day. One of you guys gets fucked up and gets six of fucking our girls. And one of you fucks him one night. Sure. And that's not good. He doesn't like that. So we actually have a meeting like a jury. we kill kill the first one quick huh oh yeah he's Ruthie what's Bobby doing yeah whatever you never said what you're doing I'm the

king oh here we go I'm a super card I'll tell you right here's why I'm the king ready credit domain are we all new Marcus a release I did not say new one I say touch on the shoulder once We agree we all call Bobby right I have to be yeah Bobby you can't kill we've making through this I need some spots I'll take the YKW pockets it's's ours Bobby's out all the zombies are listening. I'll rate a big will have them sign in Can you imagine the whole audience being zombies? They're tweeting at us

I'm watching I'm sliding I'm the floor is not level He keeps eyeing up his legs No these jeans are very tight. No, yeah, I see it. No, these jeans are very tight. Yeah, he's got a unit on them. Here's a deal. I just want to talk to him. Here's a deal.

The reason why I would be the motherfucker, in reality, I know how to hunt. I know how to set traps. I know how to field dress animals animals I am a fucking in my car What animals you feel dressing in the West Village? I know how to fish and dress I know how to do all that shit. Oh really? Okay, how do you feel dress a deer? Why the fuck would I be feel dressing a deer? That's what we're eating What do you think? Oh?

I said you miss just do we do we're hunting? We can his zombies zombies go out in the hunting. We're going out. Wait, get in the zombies. Give the zombies go out in the daytime, we're telling them they're only night time zombies. Yeah, in the daytime, they're all around. You're just gonna make sure they don't bite you. And they're very slow. We, we as the hunters, you as the stay home

and make sure the shit's clean, you managing everybody, you're the one making sure nobody gets in that's not supposed to, you're keeping surveillance sometimes given head, right? And we're out, so yeah, we'll go get the deer and we're gonna hunt it, you know how to fucking do that? Well, when you said field dressing, I assume you meant bandaging up a wounded person.

No, that's what I referred to. Exactly, you didn't know how to do that. You were talking about a bunch of putchering. I'm talking about, I'm putting on dressing. Yeah, I'm talking about hanging around. How do you do it? I'm from Virginia. You cut it open? No, that's stupid. You're digging it from How do you do it from Virginia? You cut it open?

You're digging where he cut it open first at the top no I saw red dawn it's a lot of from the top and then you would Charlie she drink its blood with a lips Cut it down I've had venison I know how to fuck you know a stout of fire How do you stout of fire? We it down. I've had venison. I know how to fuck you know, stout of fire. How do you stout of fire? We have matches. I got lighter.

I got racial comments. I don't know. A couple good end bombs in a wrong neighborhood. They stout of fire, baby. So you stout of fire at this old store. Sprink those up. Well, I think that I would be certified to be the main leader. This is a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store.

It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. It's a fucking horrible store. I think that I would be certified to be certified to be certified to be the main leader. I would think that you would have you. I would think that you would have you. I would think that you would have you. I would think that you would have you. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you would have you do that. I would think that you. Yeah something like that But you forget what that day would happen, but my boys fucking scope on deep who surveillance I heard everything you got I heard from deep who all the bullshit you guys would do it Oh, I got to bet my heart. I heard all thing and I take I take my man here He comes up. We're hitting on a whole hang on we have I found a whole tractor trailer crab legs and

He's come with us With us I got barbecue and I made barbecue dear and she comes with me because she didn't at the beginning didn't like it But all of a sudden she found she fell in love with me. Oh Can we keep her hair short Because she don't just enough to hold on really long hair and I like that about him Get him in some high heels. I like it. I like it out a little like a like a Cindy Lauper Yeah, I love the battlefield. Let's keep it. Let's keep it short. Yeah, we're gonna keep that guitar That way if we need him to be a man

We can you just take the stuff off and send them out sure. It's fucking him the only option There's a pussy What if we scope those but we don't you don't Here's the scope all you don't kiss. Okay, you don't look at his face Yeah, we're not you put you put G strings on his butt You put a blanket over his front this top half. Oh, okay, okay. And you put it over his calf. You put pillows over his calf so you don't see those fucking balls. I think this is stopping a fantasy.

Probably just subscribing last Wednesday night. I was Arlington Draft out by the way, huh? That's comedy club in the country. Best male asshole, any comedy club ever. Scopo had a hell of a guest spot. That's what they're calling it. The owner that was saying that Scopo did go is actually Bobby George Loppie says apocalypse cow

starring Bobby Brandi That was the challenge That was actually pretty funny These are the guys from Bobby's house. Chat? That was your guy. Heather Graves, I believe, says, enjoy watching. Have to go catch a flight.

Love you. Heather, we love you. She's just the best. Once the zombies come, all of the comments are just, uh. Is anyone alive out there? Hey, Vaby, you're really really funny I want to eat you bring Is that any characters you

On his off Broadway play I was trying to do you all day, but I couldn't get it off broad street. I'll get it for next time. I listen to broad street. I gotta wrap this up. It's your house So we know story we know what's an HBL story. All right, whatever He's trying to launch into a 20 minute story, sorry, him when there's two minutes of the box. What is that? It's of him. Of course. Just a line about trying to hook up with a check. We'll get some girl he was on boardwalk empire. We'll get to it next week. No more.

Bobby just looked like, okay, wait, what the fuck? We'll talk him in the right home. What's that? What do you live? Queens? What do you live? Queens? What do you live? Queens what do you live Queens? What do you live Queens Brooklyn Brooklyn? Queens Scoop-o drives me home sometimes does you really yeah? Are you friends with Scoop-o? Not really? Yeah, I'm gonna be on this. Yeah, love them great guy No, we're all friends. Scoop-o does a couple shows. We do a couple shows at the village lantern together Yeah, it makes me happy and he did our monthly

Yeah, he did our monthly. Yeah, he did our monthly. And you will not respond to my emails, Bob. What is that? I'm joking. What is it for? No, we have a, I was kidding. We have a monthly.

Oh, you never emailed me. No, I would never. Why not? I do. He doesn't have. I don't want you. Oh, I want you there whenever you want, pal. Yeah, me too.

I don't want to come if he doesn't want me. Hey, let me ask you guys. I'm already mind-fucking-y. He's the second in charge. Don't listen to Pelican nose. All right. We would love to have you. One, take care. You can check us out of the stand.

Why does he have a Pelican nose? I don't know. It's bigger. It's not that big. I have a schnauz. I have a look from this side. Oh my god. Yeah, it's a very burning.

It's like a flounder. Guys, hold on. Bobby, Kitty brought up a nation's point about my act. Oh, what? What? Sorry. No, you said what he not email you. Bobby kitty brought up a nesting point about my You said would he not email you think it's wrong. Is it wrong to email comedy managers? What do you mean are you are you not asking me serious? I'll hit you seriously. What do you mean?

Nothing for man. I'm not seriously. You want a man? You know, you want man? No, I I sent out I sent out my real Yeah, you guys sent you guys brought it up act real. Where can you get your acting real fucking who cares? Things are real pieces shit. I feel bad for him. He's been very quiet since we were fucking him. Yeah, yeah really I need therapy. I just want to kiss him We can kiss him though, right? Oh, yeah, you know, yeah Kiss him. Oh, yeah, not even just my love can be right on You can You watch movies with him anything With him

I'm fine with that hold hands in a lot of fingers friends DVDs. She owns the rough sex guy. You can pass him. Oh, no I will. Oh, yeah, like fucking John Travolta they're living Newton John and and was that move Greece Greece the other one after grace. There was a little more race either 30 this would be you was the one with the L.A. came out near 21st birthday. I didn't know there was another already dancing You never saw the movie after Greece that they did I've never seen Greece there was Greece To the devil the devil came out and and

He bumped he he was an inventor John Travol was an inventor is it do no that's the fucking face off now weeks now I'll look it up I look it up now no just a king John look at the chair of anybody the chair of no this move except the blanket no Casablanca what

and he was going to minute delays don't up hub. It's a movie they did. He was a cab driver I think but an inventor. You know what you're in collateral. What you're just go to his fucking. I know but what 80s 90s. You have the you have the common sense of a fucking two year old train wreck.

No just go you'll see it. Let me see the phone boogie nice. No, it's not Back of the bus funnig. Is anybody in chatroom boys in the hood? No, that's a black movie. Menace society. That's a blacker movie finding Nemo. That's the blackest movie ever. The Incredibles. No, that's no that let me see Let me see. Oh two of a kind two of a kind. Oh, oh that master yeah that blockbuster hit that was actually a hit It was with the baby. I was like here was that was fucking the other move Oh, it was a two of a kind. Oh, I'm sorry. It was 83 out of move. I wasn't even born. I was four You know you're you're 10 you were four. Tell me. How well you're the command 83 83. I asked 14

for four tellers that how well you're that come out 83 83 I asked 14 He you're a PA on the set I was just stunt double I'm gonna wrap this up. All right, so Let's go around the room anything you got any credits anything you shows coming up. Yeah, we Twitter and whatever you want to yeah, I'll plug this right off the bat We just Center City Comedy just got a show at the stand for New York City comedy month That's April 12th. Yeah, how many week I'm sorry at At 10 am is that a festival? I don't know. I think it's put on by the city is like kind of working with some of the clubs or something

I'm not really sure but It's awesome You've been doing a fucking two hour plug you fat you fatty. Yeah. That's how we really, that's how we really, that's how we talk about our thoughts. I don't know if you're going to, I think I'm going to go on my side. But, at the apocalypse, you talked to him like that, I'm not going to talk to him like that. I'm not going to fucking him for years.

He doesn't know what's going on. He's going to come to my side. Talk about stock homesick. I already got him. He likes me. I got the big black bubbles on my side. I'm taking, I'm already taking Foley out. I'm on what other side doesn't want to have sex with you

No Yeah, I want to do more than have sex with you I'm dating you Making a make it a real lady out of you. Hey you can buy me history Yeah, just so the our show at the stand or show we have a show a monthly show at the laughing devil in Long Island City and At Camerain zero zero on Twitter. Okay, what do you got, sweetie? Twitter-achievement. Oh, sorry.

Jesus. Yeah, sweetie. He responded to his good use to it. I'm hypnotized. At little tippy toes. He fucking went. Anyways, I'm at. Twitter-achievement.

I'll be at Helium Comedy Club April 11th with FATSO and Chris Cotton. I don't like the next time I go really tight jeans, A.C.V.O.N.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.E.I.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.I.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.E.E.I.E.E.I.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E. he's fucking he shot cootery in his new favorite pants. What are you? Set a headphones. What do you got? Ed's reds con quest, rgzconquest, instagram and twitter. improv, maybe end of the month. I'll be at UCBE, stand up, verse improv. Do you want to be more specific with the date pal?

Yeah, oh, end of the month. 31st, or on Tuesday or something like that. I think he's the leader Like secretly. Oh, like at the end of the series nine years in he's the one who like we all slowly get killed off And it's just him. He's been picking us off on the belt Yeah, it's just him and then he opens up a door and there's just a room full of hot chicks that he's been Sticking the building across the street. I was thinking that what's the name of this show? Can't that he speds? What's his story?

He's his sense. I don't know. Nothing. That's a cool. He's just thought of something that rhymes with dead Improv fucking blows walking head Three hours in I'm heating up. That's it. What do you got? Social security three hours in I'm heating up. That's it. What do you got? Um, so so secured. Ah, Medicaid. That cramp. I got a Medicaid. So the God, Bobby, I'm like, a lot of you. They took a pint of fluid out of my back. Last night, he's a great. She's gonna fill the doly to what it hit replacement. Um, a cane.

I have a rascal scooter. I want the rascal scooter. I have a rock ports. Rock ports and turtle legs. Suspenders. I have a longing for the good old days, my friend. Oh, yes. When men were men. And the coke was good.

What do you got? I got March 26th and 29th. I'll be at the Laughing Skull Comedy Festival in Atlanta, Georgia. Oh, it's a great club. Yeah. I'll be who runs it. Who is that? What's his name? Yeah, Steve. Um, I'll be I won the club. I don't know. All right. He's a comic, but he's also that that scene. Oh, Benjamin. No, Rich. Anyway, as I forget his name, Tony, I think it's you. You're really bearing yourself. It's a great club. Great place. So yeah, I'm gonna be down there for the

Laughing School Festival. I'm at the Improv. I'm at the Hard Rock. I'm at the Laughing School Club and like Kippy said April 12th at the stand 10 o'clock come check us out and this week if this comes out this week next week next week. I never mind. H. Foley on Twitter centercitycomedy.com Well it but some people listen to this live right? Yeah, they listen to a live, yeah. So if you're in New York, we have our monthly show is this month, this week on Thursday, at 8 o'clock at the Living Double Comedy Club. Free and $6 beer shot deal. That's great. Where's your 19s? So if you're listening to this live, you can do that.

You can follow me at Cassidy Comedy and come see me at TKTS. Check out the podcast. Check out our podcast. Center City Comedy and Come see me at TKTS Check out the pricing I mean check out our podcast City Comedy yeah check out the show all right. That's great. What do you got scope? What do I got? You got this weekend this week live. I'm gonna be at the bruhaha in the no yet. It's my happy theater My happy theater. It's for the bruhaha. It's for the mic. Calt the show show. It's me Jim Norton and Arty Arty Lang Calt to show show it's me Jim Norton and Artie Lang. A huge show. Working with Artie, Artie is just fucking great in Norton, of course.

It's fucking I love working with those guys. They're just fucking killers. And so if you're if you're from Tampa, if you're from Florida and you come to the show, buy your tickets, tell your friends, bring a bunch of people, let's sell this fucking thing out. And it's going to be a good time. So what else? March 27th, 28th, there are comedy works in Albany. March, April 18th, the other co-cove, favorite resort in Lakeville, Pennsylvania. One night, right? One night. Yeah, that's a couples resort.

It's going to be a sex. I'm taking a loan, bringing Don. I think I'm bringing Dan Soda and somebody else, maybe Joe. I don't know somebody else. Not bringing Dylan? No. She might come, but I got a kid. What am I going to do? What am I going to do with that?

That's not going to watch it. I felt so bad for my kid yesterday. He had a really bad day because they had to pick me up at the airport. And he fucked up his nap and he didn't have a nap. She was grumpy and kind of tired. And then towards the end of the day around like six o'clock we had dinner I had him on the couch and he was I had him giggling and laughing he was just having a fun fun time man you fucking you know a two-year-old he's just fucking laughing giggling my wife was there as his family it was so

awesome like I was he was finally in a great mood and You know, it's gonna go to take a bath soon and go to bed and that was bottle and some sesame street It's gonna be a great day with the fam and I'm tickling him. He's fucking laughing so hard that he started coughing and then he threw up I made him puke And he just what I do with my kid is just work puke so much It just and when he tasted it just ever You know when you puke and then you taste it worse and all of a sudden you just puke everything That's when I felt so bad for the little motherfucker

Jumping in the tub and there's puke everywhere and he was crying cuz puke and well, it's just a fucking shitty way to That sounds like Yeah, I really fucking brought this podcast Let's go back to the zombies or something Jesus Christ fucking your own something Bob, god damn it That's why you're the manager See?

Oh my god, can you never tell your eyes again? It was an evil plot coming somewhere We just invented something There's more eyeballs coming behind them The babe guy in Roger Rabbit plot coming somewhere. We just invented something. There's more eyeballs coming behind them. The babe guy in Roger Rabbit. And we're back. All right, so here's the deal. I want to thank you guys for coming on. It was great. I was going to have you on for a while. I'm glad I finally had you on. You guys, I really, I admire what you're doing. I love that you're sticking together and you're helping each other out. That's fucking awesome. That's what we need to do is comics is help each other out

All the other shit and the trivial bullshit and the egos and who's got this and who's got that? How old we are none of it matters how old you are none of it matters It matters, you know that one of you makes it and ribs the other ones with you. Oh, yeah That's what really matters. So one of you makes it and rips the other ones with you. Oh, yeah. That's what really matters. So one of you has to make it. If that doesn't happen, you finish. That's a group. No, but I really, I'm glad you guys came on.

Thanks for coming on. Make sure you go check out their podcast, check out all their shows, and we'll have you back on, not as a group, but individually the ones I liked. We'll come back on. We'll know who that is. Shabong's won't be first I'm gonna send that out. I'll send out an email to you guys wait Bobby. We're the microphone Where's Deepo and Chris the white's here. Why am I wearing a speedo? Why is your wife in the room with us?

He's at a donkey Bobby, what are you doing? He said it was a cheques back What are you doing? You said it was a cheques fight. That's my butthole. Make sure you subscribe to this show. If you're watching it, if you've gotten this far, and you still like it, subscribe to the YouTube channel. Stop being a fucking asshole.

We need subscribers. And make sure you, you know, on Facebook, I mean, on iTunes too. Subscribe, review, tell a friend, this podcast, how many people, I can't tell you how many people from the show. They're all intense, huge. Huge, man. I mean, huge, the shows, this is what I, this is what I want for all of us.

This is why we do our podcast. This is what Stern doesn't understand is that we have a direct connection. This is my Twitter. This is my Facebook because the people that listen to this are actual fans of mine. Not fans of somebody else's that I was associated with because you have to do, you have to listen to this. You have to do the work to listen to this.

You're saying fuck how it's turned. No, fuck you. I'm just trying to get you in the fucking show. I would stop being friends with our are in a second Fuck go on there. Call him Fucking he I don't know Fucking knows nothing about this which one Me the quandry there I was not chose there. I'm kidding

Pretty good you see his hair Senior hair, just rub him my mouth. I swear to God. We're gonna put you in the tub. I know fucking make sure you guys are the best fans of the world. Thank you for listening to the YKW dude. We'll see you next week. Thank you, Bobby. I Usually end on the dude. Oh, sorry. I should know that Listening to YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

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