#RolandMartinUnfiltered - Fat Shaming? Dr. Rachel Ross On Why She Addressed Lela Rachon, Antoine Fuqua & Nicole Murphy's Drama

Episode Date: July 28, 2019

Over the weekend, actress Lela Rochon's husband Antoine Fuqua, was photographed kissing model Nicole Murphy in Italy. Social media went nuts and soon the conversation turned to why he was cheating and whether it's because Lela Rochon had "let herself go". Well, that's fat shaming and one of the folks accused of doing that is sexologist, Dr. Rachael Ross. Dr. Ross explained why she weighed in on this issue during Thursday's edition of #RolandMartinUnfiltered. Watch the 7.25.19 edition of #RolandMartinUnfiltered https://youtu.be/lUFj5RrHTBA - #RolandMartinUnfiltered partner: 420 Real Estate, LLC To invest in 420 Real Estate’s legal Hemp-CBD Crowdfunding Campaign go to http://marijuanastock.org Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. You can make this possible. Folks, over the weekend, actress Lila Richon deleted her social media account. The photos came out showing her husband Antoine Fuqua, the director, kissing Nicole Murphy. Now, social media went nuts, slamming Nicole Murphy and Antoine Fuqua, saying, how are you cheating? But this would also then happen. But then people began to talk about when photos of Lila Rochon. People saw her, of course, in Harlem Nights, playing the character of Sunshine. She was in Boomerang as well. And people began to talk about her size.

And oh my goodness, look how much weight she's put on. Well, Dr. Rachel Ross, who's a sexologist, she also talked about this on her Facebook page. Also in her live stream. And oh, people have been blasting Dr.. Rachel saying she is fat shaming and she's saying no we better learn to have some honest conversations when it comes to our relationships after Rachel joins us right now so doc first of all first of let me have you here glad to be here Roland thanks for having me okay so for folks who are watching, you're not one of these TV doctors who's a fake doctor. You are an actual doctor. You have a degree. I have an MD and a PhD. I'm a family

medicine physician, board certified practicing family medicine physician, and a clinical sexologist. So there we go. Let's put that out there. All right. So when you made your post talking about when you saw the photos, there were photos of Antoine Fuqua and Leela Rashawn. Let me also say this before I get to that. Everybody knows who watched this show. I don't waste my time on black celebrities who got married, who got divorced, who they dating, who they screwing, kids they had. That's their personal business. I don't cover those stories. But I thought this was interesting because it reveals something. It took an entertainment story, a gossip story,

but dealt with something else on the relationship side, on the health side, on the mental side. That's why I wanted to talk to you. And so you wrote this piece where you looked at these photos and you talked about body language. You talked about what happens with black women when they get married, when it comes to their health. And so share your thoughts. Why did you weigh in on this topic the way that you did? Yeah, I appreciate you even asking. Now, now, to me, I responded, you know, with body, body chemistry and language. The minute I woke up and saw it and as I think most of black America did, because what we saw there is our worst nightmare right your husband kissing one of the most beautiful people in black America right you know because there's no real coming back from that right so I looked at the pictures and

their body language and I said oh my gosh does someone pose for these pictures are they making an announcement? Does he want his wife to know that, hey, it's me and this person now because it looks very staged to me. So my immediate response was to then go and look and see couples, pictures of him and his wife together and so as I'm clicking I said oh my gosh there's no connection here there absolutely isn't and so when I turned to social media everybody was talking about all the weight that she gained so I looked immediately at the lack of connection the immediately at the fact that Layla Rashan no longer looks like the Layla Rashan I remember her to look like. And so I took to social media to immediately respond like, oh my God, the same response I would have given if that was my sister, my cousin, my patient.

It wasn't about make a connection with your husband. Because at this point, when I saw the photo of him and Nicole Murphy, I said, well, his relationship with his wife is over now. So my response to her is, girl, go get yourself together and get your man back or anything like that. My response to her is like, okay, let's back up. We've obviously got some health challenges here. Now, as a physician practicing in Gary, Indiana for almost 20 years now, I can spot a health condition across the room. But to the untrained eye, it's obvious that she has health conditions too

because she has gained probably 30 or 40 pounds, and you can never convince me that that amount of weight gain is going to be healthy for somebody so couple all of this together with the fact that we know studies show that when men get married their health improves but we don't see the same type of data with women because women have a tendency but you also but but but Doc, I'm sorry, I want you to make that point because you said that in marriage a woman's health worsens. Explain that. Yeah, so they studied almost 80,000 women between the ages of 50 and 79 for about three years, right? And what they did is they looked at the parameters of weight, waist circumference, use of alcohol, exercise habits, and diets. So the women who were divorced and the women were single, they actually fared better in all of these parameters. So before we thought relationships

keep everybody healthy. Now we know if you're diagnosed with cancer and you're with somebody, you have a better tendency to make it through that situation. But what we don't know, we cannot say that marriage is as healthy for women as it is for men. And it's because we have a tendency to give ourselves away in the relationship. So my post is about self-love, self-care, take care of yourself. You know, we saw, you know, and what I like to do is take a celebrity situation and make it so that it relates to all of us. Because we've all been cheated on. Doc, you...

We've all been cheated. Yes. You also want people to deal with the reality that we are physical beings, meaning we are attracted to things physically. If you see a car, that's a bad car. We don't have the same reaction to an ugly car. When we see somebody, that typically there's a physical thing that catches

our eye that leads to getting to know somebody. The reality is I can't see your soul or your inner being because the reality is if I see you across the room, I'm seeing the outside of you and and what I also got was I thought you were trying to get people to also deal with that understanding that when things do change to have to us physically whether we are men or women it has an impact on somebody who we're with as to how they then treat us receive us all they feel attracted to us and you're saying yo you better pay attention to that and not act like it's not important oh absolutely let me tell you something people will show up in the office and they've lost a connection with their partner because of a new scent because they don't like the way he

smells when he comes home from work and and believe it or not that'll be the one thing so if we can be not attracted to our partners because of a scent certainly vision becomes a part of that so so yes i mean the elephant in the room is that leila rashan has gained a significant amount of weight. Now, there's theories that it's related to lupus and autoimmune conditions and things like that. But I want everyone to understand that if you have a physician who has you on so many steroids that you manage to gain 60 pounds, you need to change your doctor because it doesn't have to go like that look at Nick Cannon look at look at um Gina you know we cannot continue to make excuses for things that that we actually do have control over. So when it comes down to it, you have to take care of yourself.

Right. As a sexologist, do you believe that part of the issue is that we don't really want to have these really deep, hard, honest conversations about what happens when you are in a relationship and finances change, weight changes, your emotional connection changes, your commitment to kids over your relationship changes. That part of this issue that when people cheat or when people actually get divorced is because we don't want to deal with this. Men and women don't want to confront the hard stuff. And then, frankly, what happens, it may lead to somebody cheating when, in fact, had you chose to not step out and had the conversation, you could have avoided that to either leave or stay.

No, yeah, absolutely. I get questions all the time from people who are thinking about cheating. You know, they like my point of view because it's just realistic you know it just is what it is and I've had husbands message me about weight gain I've had husbands message me about illness and my message is always very clear you know you really need to work with your wife or your husband to try to get things right. Now, we don't know what happened in this particular case. But what I can see when I look through the timeline of the pictures is that he's steadily losing weight and she's steadily gaining weight. But I also know he put her through a love child situation. So I know there was a lot of stress in the

home there and what I want people to understand is that stress will kill you if you're in a negative relationship that can actually kill you and cause you to gain weight cause you to end up with chronic illnesses so what came first here the chicken or the egg we have no. But what we do know is that when we see those pictures of him with Nicole Murphy, we're looking at someone who is, you know, like a gazelle. Every woman is just like, can anyone, I mean, like, why is this happening to me? Why would he cheat on me with her? Of all people, there's no competition there.

So I think he was a jerk before all of this But I also can see that this timeline of disconnect happened Along with this trajectory of weight gain and and we ought we have to take care of ourselves for ourselves Now the the relationship part of things has to be important too, but you've got to do it for yourself. All right, Dr. Rachel Ross. Folks, be sure to subscribe to her YouTube channel. Check her out.

And, Doc, we appreciate it. Thanks a lot. Man, any, any, any, any, any time. Good talking to you, Roland. All right, Doc. All right, guys. All right, folks, back to that Roland Mark unfiltered video in just one moment. All right, folks, you heard me talk a lot about marijuana stock.org. Why? Because I want to keep you informed of investment opportunities that make sense.

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