Rooster Teeth Podcast - GUS ATE MEAT! - #596

Episode Date: May 12, 2020

Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Barbara Dunkelman, and Jessica Vasami as they discuss Gus eating meat, a lot of arm hair, human centipede, and more on this week's RT Podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to put your pedal to the metal. From the twisted minds behind Deadpool and Zombieland, an executive producers, Will Arnett and Anthony Mackie comes the new Peacock original series, Twisted Metal, a high-oxane action comedy based on the classic video game series. Anthony Mackie stars as John Doe, a motor-mouthed outsider who must deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

If he can survive the drive, also starring Stephanie Beatriz, Samoa Joe, Nev Campbell, Will Arnett, and Thomas Hayden Church, twisted metal, streaming now, only only on peacock. Hey everyone, today's show is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Your online activity shouldn't be public. You can protect yourself at expressvpn.com slash RTTV. Thanks for ExpressVPN for powering RTTV. Hey everyone, welcome to the Sheep Podcast. I'm Gus. Oh, I got it! Yeah, I'm Jessica. And I'm Gus. Oh, I got it! I'm Jessica. And I'm Barbara. And I'm Gus. Has everyone doing?

So, just as this podcast is starting, so we're using a program where you have, like all four of us in one window, but you also have your own webcam that you could use as like a confidence monitor. So even when you're not on screen, you can still see yourself. And I had mine open in the top corner, and it was perfectly covering all of

Gus in my view so it was just me Gavin Jessica me again. I was like what? Was is it prepable that way do you like seeing yourself double? I do and I don't. I feel like the podcast would be severely missing you Gus and two of me. I always make my monitors super small. I don't want to interfering with any of the other with any of the view. So it's like you're too confident already. Right. I don't need an overconfidence monitor. Already got to see I figured you'd want to see yourself as much as possible. I just get a vibe. I'm wrong.

It's been a long time doing that. I've done two things this week. Are you ready? All right. Ready. I got older, and I got hairier. That's about it. What happened? I can't hear anything.

What's going on? I think it was Gavin or something? I can't hear anyone. It's just you and me Jessica. I can't see you. What happened? It's going well. It's okay. Well, we can chat. Let me try. I've seen it for every every I know everybody gives It's okay. Well, we can trap. Let me try. I don't know what you're going to do with that piece of us behind you. I've seen it forever. Okay, I know everybody keeps talking about it.

So I went to a goodwill and I found him and we just connected. You ever just go to goodwill thing. You see something you're like, I need you. But his face just sees or just, I don't know, I connected with him and he said yes. And so I brought him home. you know it's just one of those cookies he has a huge crack right here yeah yeah exactly I think I think he like $20 for him but I love him he's mine now but Blaine blaine wants to buy him but I told him no. Please mine.

So. Similarly, one time I was driving down the road kind of by MoPAC, and it was trash day, and there were a bunch of trash cans set out and in front of people's houses, and I was driving down the road and I stopped, and I looked over because something was sticking out of a trash can, and it looked so weird. I had to go over and take a closer look at it.

And so I pulled this thing out of someone's trash can. And it was like a taxi-dermied mongoose with a snake wrapped around it. If they were fighting each other. And I was holding someone's garbage in my hands and I stared at it for a long time. I was like, does this deserve a place in my house? I was ultimately I was like, no,

this is trash for a reason. I ended up putting it back in the garbage. But you thought about it, you know? I almost had that connection. Almost had that connection. Yeah, you guys get rid of it. I'm going to check here. I'm going to check here.

I think I have a remix. A purpose and something. I'm going to see what they're saying. Am I that? OK. There's a message for us. You need to unmute this window and then restart the other program.

I have done that. Cool. I just saw. Can you guys hear me now? Yes. I can hear Barb. Yay. I had, I fucking just had a miniature panic attack

when that was all happening because I was like everything on my computer just went silent. I can't hear anybody. You guys can still hear me because I'm still doing the V-Mix call, but Discord completely, just connect you completely. Oh geez. Yeah, I still can't see you in there. Super weird. Cool, but I'm over here, so that's cool. I'm hearing doubles. So you guys talk for a bit while I figure this out. Are you hearing any of me? I can hear you, Gavin. Oh, I was just screaming to myself.

Just an average one. And I think it's a good sign that it took us what, like seven weeks or seven of these episodes for us to finally have a Technical problem like that It was the last night. Disco just went down. That's yeah, it was super weird. It was like the fucking leftovers. I saw all of you guys get taken like the freaking rapture. I'm watching that right now. Just me and Gus. I know.

I'm not easy to do of it. It's pretty good. Are we going back instead of the short? I think it's completely down. OK. Yeah, it's really good. I'm about halfway through season two right now. It's like one of those shows that people raved about,

but I never watched while it was on. And now nothing else to do. So I started watching it. And it's kind of jarring watching like when they do the transition into season two, because they filmed it in the Austin area. And I'm like, oh, I watched my car there before. Or oh, I used to work in that building. Oh, I remember when we did that video for RT life where we were trying to find the scenes they did for the last of us at the opening?

Where it's supposed, it's supposedly Austin and we went around town trying to find all the different places and I don't think we really found anything that was quite on the nose for it, right? And we found a sign that might have been in the game, it were like, maybe, but it wasn't not much. I also, Gus, you just popped up on my screen and I hadn't seen your face up close for a while. Your hair is growing out long behind your ears there. Yeah, it's a- Your hair's getting long. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. When you wake up in the morning, it's like everywhere. It's like really, it's like, It's longer like like front to back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That one running really fast. You have got like a mountain of hair back there. Yeah, in the morning when I should take a photo in the morning when I wake up because it's like now it's kind of kept down. But in the morning it's like like a dark brown and back to the future. It's just like, just shut out.

We take a back, dude. Actually, that would be a great social post. Like everybody take a picture of what you look like in your morning, because like everybody is super hairy now. And with love to see like, Devin wakes up looking like a freaking peacock, man. Just like hair sticking up from all angles. It's awful. Jess, are you, are you shaking your legs?

Interesting that you ask that, Barbara. Um, so I wasn't for the, no, not at all. I wasn't for the longest time until, until I went onto Amazon and I bought like a blow up tanning little thing where you like put water in it, like four inches of water and you just lay out there in your backyard in tan and I was like, you know what, I should probably just shave my legs. Just in case anybody sees me and they might think like I'm big putter or some shit.

So I did shave my legs recently. Yeah. Yeah. I got a new razor that I saw, surprise, surprise, on TikTok of this girl talking about how like this best razor is like an electric woman's razor, which I don't see very often. And I tested it on one of my legs to see how it worked and I was like, oh, yeah, it's not bad. And then I didn't do the other like, or anything else.

And so now one of my legs is like slightly stably and the other leg is like full, like just hair. I bet I bet Trevor loves that. That's the thing is it's like her fetish. Is it not? My leg hair is very blonde. So you can't really see it unless like the sunlight is hitting and like reflecting on it, making it kind of shiny. It also like doesn't get very thick. It's very like thin and fine, my leg hair. I know that's a lot of detail for people, but.

That's true. I mean, do you have like warm leg and one cold leg? Yeah, all the time. When it's true, you're a very person. I'm so hairy. Gavin, explain your hairy knits. Yeah, talk about it. Well, I've got a massive beard now and my hair's too long To put any product in so I just put products in the front so it doesn't fall in my eyes, but the rest of it is just like a mop

That's like what Trevor Yeah, I'm curious to see how I wouldn't I'm curious to see how it ends up going. Like how long you know this is all gonna go on because I'm sure we still have several weeks ahead of us to go So I'm curious to see like where this ends up. The longest my hair has been since I was like 15 when it was real long. We should get it down to like our length Gavin like shoulder length. You should try to aim for that again. I'll do it. I mean, it's easy. Doing that. I don't know if you remember I went through a real shaggy phase when we were in the Congress office. Maybe we're visiting at the time Gavin. But it's like we were all so busy

filming so many things for like close to a year that I literally didn't have time to get a haircut. close to a year that I literally didn't have time to get a haircut. And then like, yeah, I was right around 2008. I saw myself in the reflection of a door as I was walking into a building. It was like, okay, I got to go. Like, I just look crazy. It didn't look bad. It didn't look so bad. No, it was terrible.

I want to never look at photos from that time period. I'm like, God, never again. But here I am. Isn't there like an arti comic of like you not coming in the next or not shaving the next day and coming in with like just your eyes showing? Yeah, cuz I'll appear I mean I shaved the other day. So you really can't tell but all up here this gets hair. So I've just like shaved this part of my face in order to define the beard. Wow.

It's being here on the side. How fun for you! Yeah, that's great. That's fun. It's wonderful. Why have you shaved everything except that pit? Oh, that's interesting. Dude, a new look.

Starry friend. A new look at that. What, whatever the underside eyebrow is. See, if you don't, if, if, if you all don't shave your legs, you can just wear pants and nobody can tell. But now, if I don't shave, I can just wear wear a mask like everyone should be doing and no one can tell you get just like a Yeah, I wonder here Effective though because you'll bid would just slowly push the mask away from your face until it's not on your face

true I don't know if you guys have seen these masks They come free with any order from the Rooster Chief store that you're placed. It's this and there I think there's two other designs too. It's all like random, but they're free. I love these masks. I used to one of those earlier today. I have that exact same one. They're good. They don't pull on your ear. Where did you go? It's really nice. I did my weekly grocery shopping today. My one trip out.

I have a question. Why don't you just get it? Yes, you Gavin. Gavin in the back. Because I feel like then that's another person touching it. Like if I go myself and do it, it's redo. Even though I may be close to people, I stay far enough away that I reduce the contact then having another stranger touch it. It's redo. Even though I may be close to people, I stay far enough away that I reduce the

contact then having another stranger touch it. Interesting. It's like a damned if you do damned if you don't. And weighing the two options, I decided that it was that I trusted myself more and to take matters into my own hands. Do you still watch my mail? Oh yeah, absolutely. I wash my mail which is I mean I wash my groceries which is the most twin-quainly new. Well my mail I don't even because Gavin said mail I don't even like bring it like I'd leave it at the door like if everything gets checked outside and you know 90% of mail I don't need so I just end up throwing it in the trash outside almost none of it ends up making it inside Yeah, for you to see about your mail Kevin

Yeah, I've in order to get around the any risk of there being traces of the virus on my mail. I've just been not opening mail Which is why I've done just anyway Oh my god, maybe they'll call me or send an email They might know there is some stuff that only comes by mail and it's super annoying when you know It's been nine months and I'm like, oh, that's you know eight months past you But usually it's fine. I've been sitting in your mailbox This episode of the street podcast is brought to you by Scoob. We have big news Scoob's new movie is coming right to your home. Scoob reveals how a lifelong friend, Scoobie and Shaggy first met,

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at 3.30 p.m. Pacific, 5.30 p.m. Central. Also join in on the fun and do the Hashtag Scoob Dance on TikTok. Thanks to Scoob for sponsoring this episode of the RESTYPOTCAST. So I was so desperate for Mother's Day. I was so desperate for Mother's Day. I was so desperate for content this weekend that I did something just to be able to talk about something here on the podcast. So seven months ago, I decided to start eating a plant-based diet just to talk about it on

the podcast and see what that was like. So this past weekend, I was like, I'm going to eat beef just to see what that's like. Did you? You did? Yeah, I broke my streak and ate some beef. Did you have diarrhea? I'm trying to do it. No, it was fine.

What'd you have? It was a good. No, it was not good at all. It wasn't. I got, so I don't know if you all have ever been to H. Mart. It's that Korean grocery store up north. I went up there and they sell Wagyu beef, like they call it, like American Kobe, I think. And so it's like this really marbled pieces of meat and cooked them made like a nice big

spread. And meat is a lot chewier than I remember it being. It was like chewing it. Well, especially that kind of meat. Yeah. That kind of texture, chewy, from what Mary was chewing. I was like, yeah, this is what it was like, huh? And I, I mean, I only had a couple of pieces.

I probably had total, like, maybe two ounces of it. And I was like, all right, that's good. I'm done. I ate everything else. I made a bunch of other... Yeah, I mean, I made a bunch of... Yeah. So you put up this guck inside to eat in place of it. But yeah, I was like, no, like, I don't need this. Interesting. So your palate is totally changed. Yeah, I didn't think that was going to be the case. I thought I was going to have a piece

and be like, oh my god, yeah, this is what I missed. This is so good. But it's like the memory of it is somehow way better than actually going back and doing it. But like to what Barbara was saying, you know, I still want to try like a cheeseburger. Like I'm going to go to my define and I'll get a burger there. I'll go to home slice when they reopen and get a slice of pizza, but as far as just eating like a nice piece of meat, I don't know. Like maybe I'll try a steak, but even like I can't imagine trying to chew a steak now after eating it.

Try and eat that little piece was so difficult. You're probably in a really good position to do a review of the best cheeseburgers in Austin because your palate has been totally reset and you're not sort of hindered by the previous tastes of other food. Or other food. Yeah, I would, that's a good idea. I would start with McDonald's first and see how that.

I can't imagine. I can't imagine. They had this a big thing for me for a while. Even in doing this was like, when I finally do break the streak, what's it going to be? What's my first meal or what's my first taste of meat going to be again? And it's a little disappointing. Yeah. I wonder if it's something like, you were just saying or was it you were Gavin that said something about like oh it was you that your memory of me Tasted so much better and I think because at that point your body and everything was so used to getting me all the times the same way that we are so used to getting sugar all the time

So you take sugar out of your diet for say yes six seven months and then you eat sugar like oh my god That is so incredibly sweet and it's too sweet because your palate's completely changed. Um, have you ever done that? Something that I honestly wish a no, but I wish I could. I am so addicted to sugar. I eat it all the time and I can't stop. What's the sugary? I need help. Regularly have. Chocolate regularly. Um, probably chocolate. Yeah, that's completely accurate. Yeah.

What about like sodas? Do you drink any sodas? No, I don't. I didn't, my mom growing up, I didn't, she wouldn't let us have soda or even sugary cereal. The sugary cereal that we would have and only on the weekends was like Lucky Charms. And yeah, so I don't know, I just love chocolate. My uterus loves chocolate more. And looking at Lucky Charms is one of the sugaryest ones. I mean, that's like up there in the pantheon of sugary cereal. It it will compare to like fruit loops and like all the, I mean, it is finishing. Marky trance has marshmallows in it.

It does, but it also has the other shit in there that I don't like and I only like the marshmallows. Right. The stuff you throw away. See a bowl full of marshmallows. Yeah. They sell that. They sell that stuff.

Yeah. We've gotten some for RTM box. Just. Yeah. I'm just sure that all in right now, and I got sick. Because like that merch, it gets what it like makes a paste in your mouth, and it's just like, I see a kitty. Yeah, that's one. So cute. Eric and I were talking the other day, and had an idea or Eric had an idea. I'm

not going to take any credit for this. Eric said, you know, since we're all in in the lockdown and quarantine and we're not really going out that we should come up with the games that we can play on the podcast that we can we can have something to talk about. So he pitched he pitched a general idea for a game but he didn't tell me any of the details about it so that way I could play along with everybody. That could only mean that we'll go well and that we're all going to enjoy it and it's going to be great and we're going to do well. I have just slapped you. A would you rather bracket sweet 16? If you will check to slap sweet 16? Are you trying to make us use every app that we possibly can

Yeah, is it working? Yeah, okay Go ahead and get it's getting overwhelmed. I have I've got like nine programs open right up It's very of a well should just kind of be like two or three, but all right, so If you will have a look at the bracket that has just been sent to you, oh, this is my jam. So what would you have is a bracket of the ultimate. Would you rather to find out what you would rather do of everything listed here? These are terrible.

That's not. Wow. That doesn't look at these and these are all. Everything. So why don't you start at the top left, work your way down, go, and then go to the top right, work your way down. Here's the thing though, there has to be a consensus. Yeah, we all have to agree.

If it's not just personal, it has to be everybody. Yes. Yeah, we need to figure out what this cast would do, what they would rather do. If there are two sides, you have to argue it out until there's a consensus. We can't move on until everybody agrees. Cool. Great. So discussion number one, would you rather have the number of days since you masturbated displayed on your forehead, or would you rather blow a horse to completion?

Number of days. Okay. Yeah, remember days for sure. But what does that mean? Is that like a tattoo that changes and is like constantly displayed? The horse thing at least to be fair, you only have to do once and you're done.

The days since you masturbated, I feel like that question is like a lifelong thing. Like it's always displayed on her head. But let's, what we have to think about this, is any of our mouths big enough to get that horse off on completion? Right, that's huge. I mean, I've seen the whole thing in this video. I would still pick the day since your masturbate.

I mean, all that's gonna happen is I'm just gonna have a tattoo of a zero on my forehead forever. That's all that it's gonna do. Yeah, I think that's a really easy one. I think we all agree. It's the number of days, right? Yeah, yes. And also, I feel like we're in a time

where there's no shame. And honestly, it'd be more weird if you saw someone with like 70 right on their head. You'd be like, do! How? I think even if someone got up to one you'd be like what's going on we you're big yes what if they have true if they have a significant other the they are sexually active with that's not masturbating right so we're not counting hmm no she's masturbated because then if if someone's number is always here, I'm just like, yeah, what's your partner to one for you?

Huh? Yeah. True. Okay, next one. Okay. Okay, next one is eat a six ounce portion of scabs or have tiny hands like a rat. So is this you have tiny hands like a rat for the rest of your life? Probably.

I need a six pound Yeah, I just got your own or the from I knew the second you put back to Gavin. I knew he was gonna be fucking Because that is nasty. I on this is so disgusting thing about I would honestly rather have tiny hands like a rat for the rest of your life But see this is the other this is like who you talked about the earlier one. It's how sports you get. Gaps is to your gun.

It's too big. What scabs? Who scabs? No, you're right. It's like what Barb said earlier. Like you just eat it once and then you're done. You're done. Yeah.

I don't want tiny little rat hands forever when I could have just had like a deep fried scab. What would you want? Would you want your girlfriend to have tiny rat hands so it makes could have just had like a deep fried scab. Would you want your girlfriend to have tiny rat hands so it makes your dick look like a horse tick every time. Oh good point. Not into that. I think it's disgusting. It's disgusting.

That's disgusting that one. I hate that one. Let's fry him up. That's fine. It's good. Don't worry Gavin, we'll see it's we'll say it's your own. You have to eat them in one sitting there. I think so. He had to six ounce portion. Yeah, it's a lot. Can I like pair it? Can I pair it with like a nice wine and a chocolate fountain or something? Sure. Why not? You could dip it in the chocolate. Do fondue style.

Just grow a plus-puss and just do it Gavin. I love watching the chat way in on this too. And like half of them being just like RAT HANDS! And the other half being like GAMES! RAT HANDS FOR EFFA CHAT! It's FOREFFA! Yeah, you can't play video games anymore. You need to get like a special tiny control. It's like You need to get like a special tiny control. It's like, it's an enemy.

It's an enemy. Yep, yep, pretty good. The sounds are so helpful. Okay, next one. Okay, next one. Have random people boo and spit at you everywhere you go or interrupt your exes wedding to propose and they say yes. Oh my god.

These are all like lifelong things. I get the first one every time I go to a achievement hunter. So I'll just keep doing that. But everywhere you go, not just to and not just at work anymore. You can actually go through the marrying of your ex though because if it's just you got a pro you propose they say yes and like get married not just like they ruin their own wedding. You get married. No. Yeah, that's shitty.

Did they did they did they dumped me or did I dump them? We uh it's whatever happened with your last X and we picked the boo and spit thing just because I want to know how conventions go. You just walk out drenched. I just wouldn't walk in. How about that? I feel like I just wouldn't, I would just not go in like any social setting ever again. I mean, that's what we're doing right now. Sometimes it's not up to you. Like, imagine getting pulled over by the police, you wind your window down,

he just goes, I just gauzes right in your eye. Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind you. I would just win a ranko everywhere. I think I'd pick the booing, honestly. I think the booing as well. Yeah.

This is a tough one. Yeah. I'm gonna pick the booing just because I think we'll eliminate it later with another one. Yeah, I'll be the booing one. That's pretty tough. They're both not great options. Gavin, do you agree?

I agree. Okay. Next one. Lose a minute of your life every time you laugh or plunge your hand into a bucket of medical waste. Plunge my hand. Plunge my hand. I mean, I would do the minute and lose a minute. How many minutes? You never laugh with it? Yeah, but you laugh all the time. Yeah, I'd laugh and I'd lose minutes. I said, a minute. It was a minute on life.

How many times do you laugh in a day? But if just like one little dunk with your hand into some questionable fluids, like you're done. I love it. One little dunk. You're done. Some questions. You don't. You'd have to laugh so many times to get to the point where you've taken a day off. You probably have already taken days, maybe months of your life, you're laughing'm probably more actually. Every time you laugh, if you're like, how long do you live with this? That's three laughs. Yeah, and think about it, Gavin.

Or keep warning. Every time that you'd want to laugh, you would be robbing yourself of joy because every time you'd think to yourself, like, oh, wait, I don't want to laugh too hard because I don't want to die soon. You know, like. I'm starting to kind of come around to Gavin's point of view.

You have to laugh 1,440 times to even lose a day. Yeah, but it goes... I think... This three laughs. No, it isn't. A laugh is enough. That's a laugh. So what's a laugh?

It's like when you start it and then when it ends. Yeah. What would be like... What? That's a laugh, one laugh. That's just... I disagree with you guys. Yeah, I'm medical ways. One punch.

The medical ways could be. What if there's what if there's real middle? Yeah, it could have like aides on it. Oh my god, but it probably you could end up losing more off your life than a lifetime spent laughing based on that what's in that bucket.

It could be radioactive. I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with the minute. It seems counterintuitive, but I think it's the less bad of the two. Do we have to all agree? Yes, we all have to agree. Well, it's just a show. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's like fine. Everyone, everyone takes part. If you don't want to, don't want to give in, you can try to convince us to do the medical waste. Medical waste explodes. I just, I feel like I'd be thinking about it, but like it would ruin my ability to enjoy things because every time I laugh, I would be thinking about it. I'm just like, oh, I just don't know. You would just go around with the sign that just said, ha ha, that you could just show people.

Yes, because that is just enjoyable. That's not really enjoyable. It's lasting at something you find enjoyable. Yeah. Like, you think I laugh for other people to take? If you think like, I mean, just like watching last laugh at, you know, which is coming out right now. It's like it's really difficult. That's exactly what it reminded me of. Right. It's really difficult not to laugh to try to suppress that. Yeah. Um, whatever. I mean, you do make a good point in that like there are a lot of minutes in a day. And all right. Why don't we work out? And why don't we work out the average amount of laughs per day figure out how many times we've laughed in our life up to this point. What's the average number of laughs in day?

Oh my God, I that's so much math. And then we'll see if if like how short our life would be based on our current age. That if we worked for the company we work for now and this was a scenario, like part of our job is to make content that makes people laugh and so we laugh and stuff with all the time. The company gets sued for killing us. Maybe you get a question. You're going to get money into our life insurance policy or a paper. The average American laughs eight times a day. That's tragic.

That's hardly any. No. No, it makes me happy to work for this company, dude. We laugh all the time. So you would have, it would take 180 days to lose, 180 days worth of laughing to lose one day off your life So you essentially let's say today's a year, okay, two days a year and if I would definitely do this Yeah, because I can only Know many more years. I'd maybe lose like a couple of weeks to a month off my life

Fine Fine, yeah, fine. I just think life is all you got and it's precious. Well, I feel like you didn't you didn't really argue for the medical waste. Well, that's because I don't think I can't. It could be pretty bad, but the chances of you doing that and actually Getting something gross is getting severely poked and then all of a sudden have a it's I mean yeah, yeah, okay. Oh God Next one Explain the human centipede to a curious kindergarten class Oh my God or get caught stealing from the people in a homeless shelter first one first one Oh my God. Or get caught stealing from the people in a homeless shelter. First one.

First one. You the human centipede. I'm gonna explain it to kids. I don't think they're gonna fully grasp the concept. Yeah, they'll say. I also wanna explain it to them merely just to see the horrific face that they have after I explain it. Even if they would understand it,

they probably won't, like you just said. I mean, could you explain it like a kid is listening? All right, explain it, even if they would understand it, they probably won't like you just said. I mean, could you explain it like a kid is listening? All right, explain it, Gavin. Would you bore the kid? Well, we are the children. You explain it to us like like your mouth gets stuck on someone's butt instead of saying like your lips are sewn around the anus of, you know, like the difference in explaining it.

Oh, like you could like ease up on the explanation to make it some more kid friendly, how you would explain the birds and the bees kind of thing to them. Yeah. So what about when the, the, they have to go to the bathroom says me the child. Then the poopy goes through the middle human and it comes out other human and then all the poop

becomes out the end. Is it double by the end? It just goes gets in a line. When does Gavin start gagging? Come on. I'm close. Yeah, I would have. What I'm told you to show us some clothes. I think you're throwing this thing. I think this one's a no brainer. I think we have a pretty easy consensus on this one that we would destroy the minds of kindergarten children. Yeah, absolutely. Now, if you can get a carcealer from the home of shelter or plunge your hand into a bucket of medical lines. All right, next one. Have lifeless eyes, black eyes, you know, like a doll's eyes. Or every time you come, you're not allowed to clean it up. I feel like it's a lot easier for us, Jessica. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, there's a little bit of clean up, but it's a lot easier for us Jessica. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I mean, there's a little bit of clean up, but it's not like. Yeah, I mean, can I just, you could always set it back in somehow. But we're, can we take a shower? I think that counts as cleaning it up. Yeah. What if it's like my daily shower? You just have to leave the like the sponial leg where it went. You can't, you have to put a stuff in up over it and clean up

everything. I mean, can I like hire like a come caddy who just follows me around cleaning up? If this were million dollars, what you could, but there's no money involved. Yeah, couldn't clean up. And it just never paid someone 20 bucks a day to come clean up his car. I mean, I could just have a bunch of like cardboard trays. You know, like those doggie mats when when you live in an apartment and you have a dog, you have to do that. Like, yeah, Oh, if I shit, not shit, if I.

Okay. If the cheers goes on a piece of cardboard and I just throw that away, does that count as cleaning up? I think so. Well first off, how much are you guys coming? Like, you know, is it a lot or a little? Oh, well. What you could do is just adopt a dog. Well, what you could do is just adopt a dog. Oh Wow Whoa I've been there so many levels break down huh. You're just said Wow, yeah, well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, shoe boxes and to cardboard shoe boxes. And he would continue to do this and

kept them in his home. And apparently they got like years and years old. And like apparently the smell from it was just absolutely horrendous. I think it was a I don't like that story. Is what I would do. I would just do it in a freezer. But you would. I have a special freezer. Every time you would masturbate, you would just go into your kitchen open your freezer just Well, I'm not freeze, but then what would you do with the the frozen Seaman well, that's the point is that you don't have to do anything with it

It's just it doesn't rot like it's frozen But then your freezer would eventually get filled up. Well, it's a special freezer Jessica just for the come Right, I'll keep it in the garage No one will know. I think this question is asking every time you come, you're not let's clean up. So it has to be in a place that wouldn't be convenient. Like it can't be into the toilet or the fucking shower or whatever.

It has to be in a place, I think like either on the bed or on yourself. You can't do it. Bullshit. Bullshit. I'm just going to do it in a freezer. Well, so I mean, let's get let's move the discussion back up a level. Is there even a contest here? Which one would you rather do? No, not at all. Which one is it? Although, I mean, I was nice. So, which one are you saying to no contest? Like which one would you rather do?

Oh, every time you come, you're not allowed to clean it up. That's whatever. Yeah, do that one. Yeah. For sure. It's easier for us. Yeah, do that one. Yeah. For sure. It's easier for us. Yeah, what do you think it gets? I do that for fun. Still. Ooh, girl, dirty girl. I don't think I want the lifeless eyes.

I think lifeless eyes would be easy. You just have to wear sunglasses all the time. That's true. I mean, some people have glass eyes. And that's like like not that bad. Not people usually to have two glass eyes. Could you put contacts over them? I mean, you come into a freezer, you could put color contacts on your fucking doll black eyes. I think. Yeah. Yeah. I think I mean, I can still see through the eyes, right? Yeah, they're fine. Yeah. I think that

is the way to go. All right, let's do it. No, no, no, we have a disagreement again. Yeah, it's a big. Ghost Fest is the boy's that. Yeah. I'm just arguing on behalf of you guys, because all of you guys are just like, just come into the freezer, just come into the fucking shower, whatever it is. So like, you're finding a workaround to it, and then all of a sudden you're like, I'll just take the black eyes. Okay, well, so what do you do?

If you absolutely soak your sheets. Do you know what are you doing? What are you doing, girls? Okay, I'll like you guys get up and go to the bathroom right away. You should pee after you have sex to avoid yeah I also just like Soak my sheets and that brings up a whole another discussion of like Different ways girls orgasm. Oh god. Did I actually about the time? Man the worst part of this is I know my parents are watching right now

All right, I was hooking up with this guy and he was confident He's like I could make any girl's court and I was like okay You brought it up. Don't you brought it up? No way and He I thought he was gonna gonna literally penetrate my uterus. He was like going way too like with his fingers and like too hard to the point where I was just like,

I don't think I'll ever be able to reproduce after this. And surprise, surprise, nothing happened there. And I did not enjoy it whatsoever. And I'm very curious as to the girls he's been with who have squirted after that. I just wonder if maybe some girls can and others can. You know, do you ever think about it Gus? No, no, I can't say I have. I'm just looking at my dog. Oh, no dog. I'm gonna look at my dog. Oh, no dog. I'm going to look at my cat.

I don't know. This is a. Eric, this is a. You need a chat or you pick something. You have to agree. But you pick something that is like. Is a different experience for half the people here? Yeah, and I'm not even allowed to freeze it.

No one said you're not allowed to freeze it. At no point that anyone said that your dog can't eat it and you can't freeze it. All right, they gave us the other one. I'm willing to switch and give him this one. All right. There you okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. No. Alright. Next one. Taste rancid milk every time someone talks to you or be blamed for the Vietnam War. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. I wasn't even alive. Yeah. When it says be blamed, like live. Yeah, when it says be blamed, like, what are we talking here? Any time you make a, like a salient point anytime, you have something to say, anytime,

whatever, somebody can just throw that right back at you. You just be like, yeah, I mean, you're right. You're right here, but I mean, you did do the Vietnam war. And so it is your fault. And so is your fault. And so whatever that goes along with, it could just be as small as that, or as big as everyone hating you. It you are blamed for the Vietnam War. So Kissinger has lived with this for decades,

and he's fine. Mm-hmm. Is Henry Kissinger still alive? Yes, last time I checked. And I checked not that long ago. Let me look. So is he in hiding? No. I feel like eventually you'd get used to the taste of rancid milk, right? No. Every time someone spoke to you, he's 96. Yeah. He's about to turn 97 in two weeks. I'll take the blame.

I'll take your old blame. Yeah, oh, I can't imagine tasting that rancid milk. I feel like you'd get used to it. I clearly, I think something that's very obvious to me is looking at these questions and basing what my answers are. I really care what people think about me. Now, me too. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I want to be known to steal from the homeless. Like I yeah, I could be I could have the blame, but I could also be sorry about the Vietnam war. Maybe people forgive that's true. Sorry, but One way or the other, I mean, we're blamed, but is it actually our fault or are we just blamed for it? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if it's your fault or not. think it's a C-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B a couple of times a week, it would come up, but Rancid Milk every time you talk to someone, that's way worse.

I guess it, yeah, it depends on like, what would really affect your overall quality of life. True. I'd be getting in Rancid Milk would. Yeah, I would not be doing this podcast. Yeah, I mean, the internet already made us, so. Yes, I think about the YouTube comments now and what it would be if you were blamed for the video.

I'd probably choose a different profession. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Okay, next one, which might be the worst one. It's the last one of the first round. I hate this. Oh no Watch your conception in 4k ultra high death with commentary and a slow mo come shot Never stop moving or you die like a shark never stop moving or you die like a shark. So I had to watch my parents. So we never stop moving like you can't sleep.

I guess sharks like turn half their brain off. You gotta like figure it out. But what point does this, does a slow mo come shot result in a conception? It just, it's just you have to watch it in in. I think it's like you do inside your mom when your father makes you. I wouldn't like it. I'd be grossed out, but I would just watch it and get over to me. That cool. That my parents are sexual beings and they had sex and that then here I

am. And then I'd move on. Are they the ones doing the commentary? I assume so. Yes, yes they are. I mean, that would make it harder, but I'd probably still go with it because moving all the time, and I can't stop. I think that would affect your quality of life. How do you sleep? Right. I think that's a problem. You probably have to like hook your arm up to something

that would like jiggle at the whole time. Yeah, but they're not hot. So I can just sleep on a vibrating pad and then I'm fine. I mean, the thing is, technicality, we're always moving in some capacity. Like your heart's beating, your lungs are breathing. Like things are constantly moving within you. And like you're never perfectly still.

Like even when you're asleep or just sitting, your body is still moving around slightly. Yeah, this breathing count. I don't think so. I think they're saying like a shark. I think the idea is that there's, yeah, there's some kind of emotion. They're saying like a shark. I think the idea is that there's Yeah, there's some kind of yeah, I think you wouldn't you wouldn't survive. You'd be dead within the month. I'd rather die inside and watch the footage. Yeah, I'd rather watch my parents book. I'd rather have to do that than

risk dying if I stop moving because that's just that would stress me out forever and always. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Okay. I think we're all kind of curious. I feel like Gavin you're more curious about watching your parents phone. So Jessica. Don't what are you talking about? I'm so excited. It's probably just more of a chip from the slow moats in a photography aspect. Like, no, I could have done that.

Exposed it all wrong. Yeah. It's blown out. It's blown in more like it. We're not a horse. This episode of the received podcast is brought to you by stamps.com. Back in the day, sending RVV DVDs through the mail was a big job. And one of the toughest parts of making and selling products online is the shipping.

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Stamps.com is a no-brainer, saving you time and money. Right now our listeners get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long term commitment. Just go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in rooster that stamps.com enter rooster. All right, speaking of horses. Okay, so here it is the next round. Yeah, ladies. So far. Yep, Do we have a new graphic? Yep. I don't think we have a new graphic. Number of days, well, I mean, because you had to pick them.

We didn't know. Number of days since you masturbated displayed on your forehead, or eat a six ounce portion of scabs. Masterbated. Masterbation. Yeah. Easy. Yeah.

I'm kind of thinking of scabs's like it's a one-time thing Right, though you can just be done with it and then not have to worry What are you? Why'd you care Gus? Why do you care? Because it's like rather than dealing with the inconvenience with the questions for the rest of your life I'm like, what's that? It's it's just oh just eat this and you're done It's again, it's ultimately avoiding oh, just eat this and you're done. It's, again, it's ultimately avoiding talking about something. We're talking to it. Yeah, but you think that people won't ask you about the time you ate six ounces of scabs? That's not like I had, I ate six ounces of scab. Oh, that is a story. It's not embarrassing.

It's like it's going to be tattooed on your forehead. I mean, it would be kind of fun if you did have a tattoo of a number in your forehead and every time somebody asked you told a different story, it's a way of entertaining yourself, like making up a crazy story every time. Yeah. I think I would do the, the, let me, let me try to sell it to you a little better. What if you could put the six ounces of scabs in a bowl of cereal like frosted flakes?

It's just like frosted flakes and scabs. That's so much. Just six ounces. Are we allowed to do it like over the course of a day? Gavin, like, could we have like some for breakfast, some for lunch, some for dinner? No, I think it's all one portion. It's a portion, so it's got to be like in one sitting. You got to eat all the six ounces. You know what? Honestly, I think it portion, so it's got to be like in one sitting. You got to eat all the six ounces. You know what? Honestly, I think it could, if you, if you like, fry it up, add some like seasoning, some garlic powders, maybe like mix it in with some taco meat and put it in some like fajitas. Put some Frank's rap on it. Yeah, you know, like, and like, just shove it in your gullet and like, chew, might be a little weird to chew on. Um, I don't know

the texture of scabs would be like, or if they're like, we can get over, we do like leftover pus on them or some. Yeah, like, pus like kind of gummy. Maybe those drinking. But that was the worst one that we locked in. He's not even throwing up like No, but he still has his head. I'm drinking now. The range on these headphones, not great. So I'm like walking around the house. And I just hear like the pass and it cuts out and then it hits other gross shit. That was probably worse listening to it. So what are we picking?

What are we picking boys? We'll do the number one. I just wanted to gross cabin out a bit. Perfect. Thanks for that. All right, that's moving on to the final or, which is really something. Next in the round of Elite 8, have random people boo and spit at you everywhere you go, or lose a minute of your life every time you laugh. Let's push for the last thing again. Yeah, I would honestly, I think you guys made a good argument for the last thing. It's so little.

Great. Because I feel like the other thing would really fuck your quality of life. Like, yeah, living longer isn't worth it if it's just going to be that kind of quality all the time. Yeah, no, thank you. Great. If I lose a couple of weeks to a month of my life and no one booted and spit on me the whole time, I think that's fine.

Right. It's like it's way, it's a way better life. That's an easy one. Super easy. Yeah. Okay. Great. Moving on to the next rant or the next bracket, explain the human centipede to a curious kindergarten class or every time you come, you're not allowed to clean it up. It's definitely human centipede. Yeah, that's so fun.

Yeah, it's another one off, isn't it? Yeah. Plus, I think like we talked about earlier, I think it would just be fun. You don't have to deal with the repercussions of it. You just tell them and then you walk out the door. I mean, their minds are going to get corrupted at some point in time. So you might as well just do it now with the human centipede. Two shade.

You're helping, you're helping them if anything. I think you're doing a certain which of the four of us could change your perspective. Which of us would explain it the best to kids? Do you think? Gus, or Jessica, I think Jessica, I think so. Jessica has a very like comforting. Jessica. Jessica. Jessica. Jessica.

Jessica. Jessica. How would you do it? Well, I've been put on the spot. Now I froze. Sometimes when I'm on me and my dad really love each other. They call the human centipede. Yeah.

Yeah. So, well, first they're gonna ask like, well, how did they get there in the first place, which I actually don't know that answer because I haven't seen human centipede. I just know. You just explain the concept of what that physically entails. You know, you know what it is, Jessica, right? You might not know if it's not as common of a reference, I don't think I just know that a couple of people are Three people, you know our best friends and they decided that they wanted to be together forever with each other and so They're super close so because of that they decided that they wanted to sew each other to the other one to make

sure that they were together forever, you know, because they love each other. And so, but it just happened to be around their little butthole. And don't ask me why. That's just kind of what they picked and everybody has a choice and they chose the butthole. So in your world, it's consentual. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I have to explain it to kids. Yeah, you just have to explain the mechanics of it.

That's all. Yeah. Um, I need to make each other's mouth. Forget. Yeah, that's the worst. I'm sorry. Forget. That. That's the worst. Is nowhere to go. In you and then out.

Yeah, like, have you guys seen it? No. Okay. I think I did once when it first came out. I know. I think I saw it. Okay. All right.

We have a winner. Oh, for. We have it. It was one that advances there. Yep. And then the last in the round of elite eight, would you rather be blamed for the Vietnam war or watch your conception in 4k ultra high definition with common motion comes shot. Blame me for fucking everything. But that's a lifelong thing as opposed to watching two minutes something. And two, guys, that's scoured into your brain for the rest of your life. Two minutes. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's another question like this video. Is it from like when they started or is it just like, just the conception part? Oh no, it's like, it's like them getting into it and then like, Oh, that's not something. It can be paying. And then like, oh, take this off. Oh, Larry, what are you, what are you doing? And then it's like, it's more that it's the thing.

Eric, you think they have real daves. No, I didn't do that. Making it real. After Eric described it, I'm going to switch to Vietnam more. Yeah, let's go with war for that one. Let's go with war. What is it good for? Absolutely.

I still wouldn't mind, but sure, let's go with war. OK, then we have a lot of fun. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. everywhere you go people boo and spit on you. No, it's Luzam in every laugh. Yeah, yeah, you write these down, Aaron. I am. You can't see, but there's a piece of paper. It's pretty scientific. Okay. I started thinking.

Did you wait a minute? It was, I just got, I got messed up. Did you reference my father's name while I had my headphones out? I'm looking the whole chat. What are you? Eric, I swear to fucking God. What? I don't think your headphones out. What are you doing? It's an audio podcast. Fuck you. Number of days or even a minute every time you laugh.

This is a tough one. It's a real tough one. That both not too bad. The question is what do we want to put up against the final one and the other bracket? True. We're dealing with... You're lying. You're lying.

I'm going to go with of days, because ultimately everyone does that. It's not a big deal. The other one, I think it's not that bad, but you still end up losing some of your life. This one... Once again though, your life will only be up to a month shorter, and you would have spent your entire life without the number written on your head. But what's really the downside of having the number on your head? It's just weird. It's not normal.

And especially for you guys, I mean, it's gonna cause people to talk to you. There's a lot of baseball caps and cover it up. Oh, we get our bangs. Yeah. I don't think you can hide it like. Oh, we get our bangs. Yeah. I don't think you can hide it. That's smart. You hide it, Eric? It's on your forehead.

So you're not hiding it. So if you put, maybe if you put a baseball cap down, it's just on the front of the baseball cap. Yeah. You're right, you're right. You're starting to sway me with the talk of having to talk to people and explain it. Then, like, do you lose more time out of your life having to do all those explanations than you would if you had just laughed?

I like how Gus is being hesitant now because one of them involves talking to people more. Yeah, wait a minute. Yeah, I'm gonna swap. I think it's a lose a minute. Ladies? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna swap. I think it's a lose a minute. Ladies. I mean, you guys did make a compelling argument for that lose a minute. Like it really is, yeah, not a lot of time.

And like, I, but then I get in my head. It's like every time I do laugh, I'm gonna be thinking like, oh, another minute gone. Maybe at first, but you'd probably get over it pretty quickly. That's true because honestly, you'd probably look at it this way, you're like, look, I'm going to lose this amount of time no matter what, so I'm not as well light laugh as much as I can throughout my life, and then when I go, I go. Yeah.

All right, I'll pick the laugh one. Yeah. Yeah. Same. They all suck. Yeah. Yeah. Same. They all suck. They do. Yeah. Loser Minute every time you laugh is moved into the finals.

Let's find out what it's going to go up against. Would you rather explain the human centipede to a curious kindergarten class or be blamed for the Vietnam war? Centipede. Centipede. Centipede. Yeah. I think this one might win. Wow. Yeah. All right. So I think

it because we already talk inappropriately to people who are probably too young to be hearing some of the things we say. So how old is kindergarten like four? Five? Five and six? Five. Five. Yeah. Because their old enough grade is six and seven. If you don't talk to them about human centipede, they're going to learn about it on the playground. I mean, you're so right, Gus. Yeah. How old is Beck is oldest kid? I think she's five. I think I think Eric, why did you do that to us? Why you've made it real Eric why what do you mean? Yeah, I think it's planning it to come in. Well here's the reason why I'm making it real because it's about to move into the finals against Luzamint at every time you laugh and if that's

the one that you'd rather do that's one that I can make happen. Make you Luzam in it every time you laugh. So you're just going to conference in a five year. And you'll probably do it with Skype. You'll be like, use a different app to do that. Yeah, there are no legally binding languages here in this podcast call. Just asking, I'm just asking what you would rather do. Simply asking what you would rather do. And you've moved this very, I mean, plausible one to the finals. I don't care because I would much rather explain the human centipede to a bunch of kindergartners.

Okay. Then lose men. Also, if you want to bring climate to this Becca's daughter, I think she'd get kick out of it. She's weird and she owns it. So. You're like, ha, ha, but. Yeah, ha, but, but stuff. Well. Oh, yeah, I think we already know the winner. Well, that's the final. So lose them in it every time you laugh for human centipede. I need to hear you say it.

That's basically it's so old come down to, are you selfish or not? Oh, okay. I'm selfish'm selfish. I think me too. Me too. Yeah, okay. I guess we're going to centipede. So through that entire round, the thing that you chose that you would rather do is the thing that I can easily set up. And winning on the other line is?

I really didn't think that that would win. What should it win? Well, I thought that getting caught stealing from a homeless person would beat that one out. Oh no. Oh. That's way more cruel. You know, we should do Eric. We should do that improv game where we all say one word each

and tell the story of the human centipede. Okay. And some at some other time. Maybe not right now. Okay. Just go, I snipped this over to Maxi. So she's going to post it on Twitter, I think tomorrow and people can build their own brackets on what they think the ultimate would you rather would be? But they're curious. What's the chat? What's the chats number one? Yeah, I'm curious to know all of these, what they would take.

I've been seeing a lot of input. Well, they've been going down the brackets that we've picked. So I guess they didn't. Yeah, I'd be wondering, I'd be wondering which one of all of them they would have taken to the final. Oh, a Christian who, a part of our broadcast department, he put in chat, Jim full of a couple hundred small children. What about that? That makes no difference. But yeah, because then I start to picture like teachers and parents and stuff like that like in them. Just the students. Yeah, okay. That'd be worried about getting arrested on the way out if there was no one else in that.

Well, thank you for playing. Would you rather here on the Rooster Teeth Podcast? It was so fucked up. No, no, no, no, we're not Eric is because he's the one who came up with the questions. That was Eric, you're fucked up. My that was the entire broadcast producing department, which was did you come up with any of the, did you come up with any of the come ones? I personally did not come up with any of the come ones.

I see laugh. I think centipede. I see. That's the tough thing about this brackets mistom though, is that if you pick one that's slightly not as bad as all the others, people just take that all the way to the final and then just pick it. So they've all got to be as bad as each other. It's a hard game to come up with that you did well. Thank you. Thank you very much. He'll take the credit for it when you won't take the blame. When we say that he's the messed up one. Oh, I know. I've been watching, yeah, I've been

watching people on the news do that for a little while, so it seems to be working for them. This episode of RISTEF podcast is brought to you by ExpressVPN. Being stuck at home these days, you probably don't think much about your internet privacy on your own home network. You just fire up incognito mode on your browser and don't see what you're doing, right? Wrong. Even incognito mode, your online activity can still be traced, and even if you clear your browsing history, your internet service provider can still see every single website you've ever visited. That's why, even at home,

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I have this Austin East Ciders, original dry cider here, from I don't know when, but it's been in my fridge for a long time. And on the bottom, there's a date. I don't know if it's like best before or sell by, but it's 2019. Does this stuff expire to a point where you shouldn't drink it or does that just mean it's like best before or sell by but it's 2019. Does this stuff expire to a point where you shouldn't drink it or does that just mean it's not going to

be as tasty? You're fine. I can't supply. It's a year ago that it expired. I mean it's not like a layer of mold floating on the top. You're probably fine. It might just be a little flat but try it. I mean, it won't hurt you. So what can's a full? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's mine. Cool. I get thick midway through.

You guys know it's your fault. I almost did it. I almost did it. It was less than 30. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, we've been doing that stuck at home podcast, like the supplemental podcast for first members. And we recorded one one one that's

coming out this week. We talk about the story of hiring Eric and how we had to go about it and how we had to keep it secret from Bernie so that he wouldn't find out. So if you're a first member, I highly encourage you to to listen to this week's episode of stuck at home because we're talking about that quite a bit. I've been thinking about this and's episode of Stuck at Home because we talked about that quite a bit. I've been thinking about this and I love the Stuck at Home podcast because obviously like a LeBernie and hearing you guys talk together and stuff like that. But then I started thinking and getting in my own head of just like, Bernie, you know, he's no longer on the main Richard Heath podcast and he left a little while ago from that. And he's doing the podcast with everybody who's on the RT

podcast except me. And everyone. And he's the podcast is also stuck at home. Right. So did he just not want to do it with me? Let's call it. Let's cover it. who did he just not want to do it with me? Let's call it, let's call for it to me and find it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

No, but I get it because it's like, you know, drunk tank days and you guys doing the podcast together and it's like, you know, different. Were you ever on a drunk tank? No, I think that when I was on the podcast the first time, even in passing, I think it was already the RT podcast. Because I, it was in December of 2011, it's like my first, I think, was already the RT podcast because I it was in December of 2011 is like my first I think official

Time I was just like my first day at work or something like that. It's a strange podcast to record because it makes me feel super new Really weird to think about yeah, I feel like the newbie like all these people having their chats about But today was my 17th anniversary of signing up on your website, Gus. Gocom, Mubi. Wow. That's crazy, dude. Yeah. Do you know?

You are stuck in your house because of a global pandemic, talking into a microphone. In a different country, I would never move to here. Literally everything in my life is different because I'd signed up on that website. Oh, you're preaching to the choir here, my dude. I guess it's the same as everyone would be. Yeah, most people, I guess, at the company first, you know, the company in a period of time, but I think especially you and me Gavin, because we signed up when we were like 14, 15 years old, and we're in our 30s now, which means like,

more than half our life is dedicated to being part of Rooster Teeth in some capacity. That's crazy. You know, yeah. Even I'm getting there. I'll get there eventually. Oh, how much longer than I need. How old were you when you started?

I was like 20 or 25. So we need eight more years. Oh my God. Is we could think, is we would think you started Rooster Teeth younger than I am now. Like that to me, like I, yeah, by the time I was your age,

we had moved into the Congress office and we were working out of the Congress office. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. Yeah, that's like when you and Gav came and visited and met each other for the first time, I was as old as you are now. Yeah, that's Bunker. We still Gavin, we still remember recreated that photo we took on Congress. Yeah Shit, you're supposed to do that like I can't that to you. I can't shut the cap. Shut just for that

That's what I like. I'm so easy to go out and meet up and hang out now, right? I do have a question about that for you guys actually so I've read I think it was Australia or New Zealand I think it was Australia or New Zealand, I think it was Australia. They had like a this big graphic put out on Twitter and probably other places as well about like their steps in terms of reopening the country. And one of the first steps was like starting to allow social gatherings of like 10 or less of like the same friend group like a bubble of people that you would interact with and no one else. And I wonder if like the US is going to start experiencing something like that because like for us like Trevor and I don't see anybody or other than you guys at work.

So like even on a regular basis. So like I wonder if there's going to be restrictions put on groups of people or people who work together where it's like You could see each other, but you can't see anyone else if you're gonna interact with these people because it seems like It's still not as safe obviously is complete social distancing But I wonder if it's like easing restrictions in that sense my It takes is one person to catch it running an errand and then you just ruin the whole Small bubble anyway. It It just seems that's true. There was like that. There was an article that came out where there

was a family reunion and they didn't think much of it because they're family. And one person started coughing and what do you know? Like four people there ended up getting it. And see that's like there's no real like I feel like it's all or nothing essentially like they're even easing up restrictions like that you're still going to have somebody that has interacted with someone else outside that group in some capacity or even if they've just had groceries delivered and touched something that happened to have something on it and like I can't need that way. In the end in country, it's probably not going to matter because we're so shitty at following directions and doing the right thing that we've wasted the last eight weeks

quarantining ourselves at home, which is really depressing to think about. I saw photos of cars lined up parked at the green belt this weekend and I mean, just people not wearing masks on public. To be fair, I will say the restrictions that some places have taken and some people have taken I think has helped give more time to not overwhelm the medical system at least and they're starting to find treatment, not obviously solutions or vaccines, but things that help the symptoms or help things not progresses partially if I'm not correct. So at least it's giving more time to find that

without overwhelming the system. I mean I can see that I think you're being extremely optimistic. I think that- I try to be. Yeah we're just delaying it. I don't think you know at this rate at the rate I see people not following the rules or not wearing a fucking mask because it's the thing in the world to do. We're still in that. We're still in that. I read this article from Apple News that said basically that there are different ways now that the coronavirus can attack your system and some people started off with having like

what they thought was just like a stomach virus bug or whatever and ended up being a weird another symptom now of how the coronavirus is. And I couldn't even get through the entire article because I felt my anxiety just start to flare up and I was like, nope, I can't read this. So I made Devon read it and then he's just like, you probably shouldn't read it. That's nice that he can act as like the filter. Yeah, because that's shit. It's just like medical stuff gets my anxiety going crazy

because like anytime there's something, or I feel like there's something wrong with in my body and like, oh God, like especially now, like, is it the virus? And I've just heard so many, so many stories of it. My sister actually ended up what we think she wasn't tested, but ended up getting a version of it because now there's so many different versions. And she got a very, if she had it, mild case where she did lose her sense of smell and her sense of and her taste and she was super exhausted for about a week slept

non-stop. She didn't have a fever, then all of a sudden she was better and then her boyfriend ended up getting it, got a fever again, slept for like a week straight, had a bit of a cough and then got over it. And so, you know, they never got tested because they were also told that you can't get tested unless you have a fever and he tried to get tested, but his symptoms weren't intense enough, I guess. Well, it's also, I think it's 50% of cases are completely asymptomatic. That's terrifying.

Yes, and that's a scary part. Well, that's terrifying. Well, that's very terrifying. That's some of the dangerous part of this thing. And even if I don't have a fever, I could still have it. And the fact that not everybody could get tested or there's no way to do that yet is obviously something that's a big factor in this whole thing.

I know. I'm going to be quite divisive when, because I feel like this place is going to be open as if nothing's happening very soon. And everyone's going to be just like, going about, I don't want to go out. I want to stay inside. But that is like, what if everyone goes back to work?

Am I going to be like a stick in the mud for sitting at home? No, I honestly think most people we work with will have a similar mindset to you, Gavin. I think that a lot of us are very aware of the consequences of our actions and stuff like that. And like I've already talked to a lot of people at Rooster Teeth. And even like our management has been great about making sure that we don't act too soon. And that everyone is fully comfortable and feels safe coming in.

And I don't think they're ever going to force anybody to do anything. Yeah. And I think that's another thing. Just to reinforce some of Marva said, I feel like there has been no pressure about it. And it seems like it's been very much like, we're going to try to approach this as safely as possible and try to keep people safe. And take as long as we need to.

Yeah, and I'm currently in a situation. Most of us could do what from home. Sorry, Jessica. No, no, no, you're good, you're good. I'm in a situation right now with a, um, a, a sales shoot that's a coming down the pipeline where our, our, we don't know if we can do it because our federal and state and city governments are not aligned about any of this right now. So, so our, you know, Travis County is Travis County is extended our shelter in places extended

until June 15th, but then Texas is until the end of May. And I'm like, I don't know what I can and cannot do. Austin, in the end of May, Travis County is June 15th. Oh, weird. Okay. So it's, it's even more, yeah. So, I don't, I'm not going to go out anyway. I'm just saying that like, I can see why everybody's, it's, we have to be aligned on this and nobody is. And it's just, it's very frustrating. I think it's just something just ingrained in the mindset of America. Like, it's a, it's very similar to England in terms of language and entertainment, but the mindset is very different. Where I feel like a place like Japan would be like, this is our country, but in America it's like,

this is my country and there's more of a focus on, it's like, I'm gonna do what I wanna do because it's my country and I live in this country. So I have the freedom to do it. It's less like nationwide teamwork. And I'm not saying that England is better because England is also handling this, I think, atrociously. Well, I think it's very indicative of how humans are very self-absorbed.

And I think a lot of people see it as like, oh, like this is mostly affecting people who have weaker immune systems or who are older, and I'm not either of those, so I'm concerned about the fact that I'm not getting paid or I'm struggling with money at the moment because of this or not able to do what I want to do and have my freedoms because of this. So people are focusing on that and being selfish in that sense rather than there's families all over the world who are losing loved ones. We before they should ever be doing that and their lives are being permanently taken away because of this whole thing and being selfish

in that sense. Like agreed. You see he lost his mind. He's just gonna disobey and keep keeping people. Oh yeah. And he's like, I'll be on the front lines. If anybody's gonna arrest me, arrest just me. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Yeah. The worst part about owning that fucking car is that dude.

Oh, sure. Sure. It's something else. I'm not to change the subject too much here, but I see people in chat. I'm keeping an eye on chat over here. If I see me looking to the side, that's what I'm doing. Uh, people in chat are, uh, are fascinated by my hairy elbows. Did people not have hairy elbows?

Like, whoa, whoa. Is that like a weeping? Is it like above the, because you're not talking about the elbow elbow. You're talking about maybe, I don't know time about it with part maybe I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I just arm hair. I just have like normal. Wow, Bob, you're just like, yeah, I have a lot of like, it's pretty long my arm hair

and it's funny because there was either a podcast or some show on the Ruchiteeth website where someone was just like, pause it this time and like, what's wrong with Barbara's arms? I'm like, you mean the fact that I have arm hair? And I don't want me. You know I make you and being who grows hair on my body. What's wrong with you?

Don't you want me to trick that? Yeah, I'm just like, what the fuck is, fuck you. Jessica, I know you making funny videos about some facial hair situation? Yeah. Yeah. What's its name? Hubert.

Yeah. He's growing out. I'm growing him out. So he's a friend. He tells me many secrets. But yeah, I was like, you know what? I got a mustache. I'm Italian. Let's see. You know,

how long can it grow up for? There's one final video that's going to be coming out. I've been waiting a long time because I want to get them real bushy. So that'll be coming out soon. There's a few things I want to talk about. I know we have a little bit of time left, but before we get too hard down here, I want to remind everyone that we're bringing the D&D show back, Jessica and Barbara are both on that, not Gavin. That's coming back on Thursday when it starts streaming it. Diast cast. Diast cast.

So if people were into that, check it out on Thursday, what time is that? I think it's at noon. It's at, I believe it's 12.30 guess past. So if people were into that, check it out on Thursday. What time is that? I think it's at noon. It's, I believe it's 12 30 to 230. So it's going to be like right before off topic. A nice little way to get ready for that. Yeah. So we got that coming up on Thursday.

I think the first, the first test episode went really well, which is why, you know, we're going to continue it. And hopefully we get some more D&D fun going. My favorite part of that was when doing it live on RTTV, like getting to look at the chat and see them interact with us and respond to the actions that we're taking in the game. Like that was so much fun. And I'm really happy that we're doing it live on RTTV

and have that interaction. So if you're watching the podcast, definitely join us on Thursday because I love having the chat for that show. Sure. Maybe you know. I also having the chat for that show. Sure. I also love the comments of people saying that they like took a look at the characters that we're playing and they're like,

it absolutely makes sense for everybody. It's like, I wonder if like, nothing you're talking about that, I wonder if we should try to incorporate like some kind of chat functionality where people in chat can interact or help run an NPC. Like, you know, Amber, Twitch, please Pokemon.

Well, I'm thinking about like Twitch, please Pokemon, where like everyone in Twitch chat played a Pokemon, even wonder if we could have like our TChat, please an NPC, or you know, if we could have. I can work on that. I can. We have voting features so we can see if there's a voting functionality that we can have for a diast guest.

Yeah, super fun. That's super fun. And the other thing I wanted to mention is we have four episodes of Black Boxdown out now. Four. Yeah, hell yeah. Four. And the fifth one's coming out this week. And it's been, I think it's been really well received.

People should check it out. Or be listening to podcast research for Black Boxdown. I think we've put a lot of work into that. I'm really happy. Just go to the world, BBD. How does Eric feel that it's doing better than Face Jam? How do you feel about that, Eric? How do I feel about it? What of the podcasts that I produce is doing well? I feel pretty good about it. I don't care which as long as they're doing well, I don't care what

does better than what. Oh, dude, speaking of face jammed black box down, I forget, I'm sorry, I don't have the name, but there was someone in our subreddit who posted a mock up of a t-shirt for black box down with the airplane split in half. That's a 0% fly. So funny. We should make that shirt. I think that would mean insane shirt to wear to an airport. Oh I mean we already make shirts that I can't wear on a plane like the nice dynamite shirt I never wear that in the airport But that is that's skirting a line. Yeah, but how people are traveling a line. I feel like. Yeah, but how do people are traveling and like don't have other options

for a shirt to wear? You know what the fuck? Well, like the portion of the people who would buy that shirt of our audience, like I don't know how many of you guys travel all the time or on flights or think about necessarily that thing. But like you you're like saying, I can't sell that shirt because you can't wear it on an airplane. Like, that's one instance of wearing a shirt. Just don't wear it on an airplane. I mean, I can pitch it to make the shirt. I think it's a bad idea. But that means people will buy it. If someone, if someone is actively opposed to a piece of merchandise

People will buy it out of spite. I'm not trying to oppose the piece of piece of merchandise I'm trying to think of someone who's trying to get on a plane They don't realize they're wearing that shirt and they're like, oh man. I couldn't get on the plane because of this shirt I mean, it's the company that sold the shirt liable for anything that the wearer does No, I'm not saying you guys heard it here first. Eric hates the shirt. He doesn't want it made. It's a. It'll never happen.

Someone's going to miss a flight because of this. I want to clip this out. Clip it out. Someone's going to miss a flight zero. A set fly getting on an airplane is like crazy. If I say that fly now, that nuts. No, someone's gonna do it on purpose just to satisfy your, your permission.

Yeah, there's gonna be challenges like how many flights can I take whilst wearing this shirt before I get kicked off? Don't, that's I'm trying to look out for these poor souls. Don't that's I'm I'm trying to look out for these poor souls War on Fudge and it's those I feel like if you wear that shirt on a flight knowing full wear the full well that you're flying that day That's your own fault. I I I agree with you, but I also don't trust people at all To you guys heard you guys heard her first air doesn't and trust you I don't I absolutely don't trust these people clip this out I don't fucking really mean to say Eric I don't

I don't oh man smart man my god we were trying to come up who's I talking to you Eric we were trying to come up with ideas for merchandise we could make to promote black box down and we see we were I was trying to come up with ideas for merchandise we could make to promote black box down. And we, I was trying to come up with like travel merchandise like, uh, I'm asked, that you would wear when you sleep on a plane or, I say, like a travel mug, like a travel container that you take with your coffee. I think that's a good idea. I think that would be a scary podcast to, uh, rep on a plane, but I mean, just thinking out loud, I guess. Have you ever watched a video of a plane crashing while you're on a plane? Yeah.

No, do you do that, Gavin? No, I did it once. I was just watching some because I just pre downloaded a bunch of YouTube videos and one of them was like gnarly crashes and stuff. And then it went on to planes. And I was just hiding it from the person next to one of them was like, gnarly crashes and stuff. And then it went onto planes and I was just hiding it from the person next to me. I was like, this plane is exploding right now. How did it make you feel?

Someone looks over at your screen and they're like, is that right now? Is that happening? It does. Honestly, it didn't affect me at all. I was like, it has no correlation to the plane I'm on. If the plane I'm on crashes and I just happened happen to be watching this video, that completely unrelated. And I'm just as scared of flying as I am if I didn't watch the video.

I definitely think of playing crashes before I enter a plane. Like while I'm sitting just waiting, I just think of what if this plane, and I think of every possible scenario, and then I still get on the plane. Super safe for the best. The safest way to travel. You don't have to worry. Yes, if you had to choose a type of plane crash to be in, fatal, which one would you want?

While you in human centipede. I think I think planes colliding like a head on plane crash would be the best way to go. Because you can't see it coming in a system. You would, you have feel nothing. Maybe. I mean, that's for you with you. Nothing. You would have no panic. There'd be no panic.

There'd be no buildup. You wouldn't be spiraling towards the ground. You would just. But even then, even then, if you're spiraling towards the ground, though, you're going down so fast that you probably just pass out mid-air Anyway, and then not even knows I guess you would still have the time between all know Something's going wrong with the plane Holy with you

Like this I agree with you I just want to put that out. It's not at all like this. Never know. I'm with you though. I agree with you. I'd rather it be something instant. I don't even see coming because I don't want to spend my last moments on earth being scared or panicking or having like any feeling like that. I want to be relaxed or not know what's coming or whatever the situation is like. That is the opposite of how I want to go.

Here's another question for you. If the plane just came apart, this is going to be awful, by the way, for people who are listening to YouTube or that. Yeah. This is not, go listen to black, but don't be funny. It's okay, no one's flying now,

no one should be flying right now. If the plane came apart mid-air, like it did in Lost, would you stay in the plane in your seat, or would you think, I'll take this solo and just unclip and just like skydive on your right? The chances are way better in the plane. There's no no oxygen. Yes, 100%.

I love these types of conversations. I mean, well, I mean, the plane is going to explode on impact. Not necessarily. If it came apart, if it's... Jet fuel is not explosive. But if it came apart... I think there was a loha Hawaiian Airlines flight that the top of it got ripped off

and it still managed to land fine. This is what they can survive. Yeah, we're at time. We need to wrap up just because someone is streaming after us. We have a coming up next we have a house live. So we got to wrap this up. So thanks everybody for watching. Thanks for watching. I talked to Becca. She said Clementine doesn't know what human centipedes so we can get her on next week. Okay. Good bye. Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Do you like apples? Examples. Alright, examples. Together in Trempit hosts... Characombs. Characombs are free of Diaz of nothing to do with this podcast. Analyze various unsolved and rooster teeth's cryptic podcast.

F**k face. Call to action. Feel free to add something show premise specific but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. It's f**k face, a podcast. Subscribe or no. You do yes? or wherever you get podcasts.

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