Rotten Mango - Husband KILLS Wife For Denying Sex During Her Period

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

SJ would be the next to die. At least that’s how it seemed to his worried sister in-law, Mimi. Sitting next to him in the hallway of the morgue and even through her own grief, she questioned his health; that if left alone he might take his life out of despair. SJ’s wife and Mimi’s sister, lay on a steel table in the room over, technicians actively cutting into her body. Mimi hoped this autopsy would tell them how her sister ended up dead inside of her newlywed home after just 3 months of marriage.SJ hoped they wouldn’t notice the light red markings on his wife’s neck but knew her cause of death would be revealed. So he starts building his ‘alibi,’ “You know…I’m someone with a very strong sexual desire-“Caught completely off guard by his statement, Mimi just stares at SJ, “…What?”“I’m a person with strong desires, you know, but your sister would never let me touch her.” It likely didn’t take long for Mimi to consider that SJ dying next wouldn’t be all that bad.    Full show notes available at RottenMangoPodcast.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Bada Bing, Badaboo. S.J. is going to be the next to die. That is the most likely, reasonable conclusion that everybody in his life is coming to. He's going to be next. He's going to be the next one to die. Especially right now because he's just wandering around this empty, strong, disinfectant, chemical-scented hallways of the morgue. Everybody that knows S.J. is growing concerned.

They're getting nervous. Somebody needs to stay with him. Hurry, I'm worried he's going to die too. I'm anxious. This is a direct quote from one of his family members. Wherever S.J goes, there is an anxious family member sitting next to him. If he's in the hallway outside the room, there is a family member sitting right next to him, also exhausted, leaned back against the chair and staring into the abyss of the bright

office backroom lighting morgue hallway. And it's very understandable that S.J. is distraught. S.J's wife is laying on a steel table in the room right behind him, right next to all of his family members, and they're about to cut her open to see how she was killed inside of their house. Inside of their newlywed home after they had been married for only three months, she is killed in the middle of the night, and because S.J. is drunk and passed out on the couch, he has no clue what happened to his wife inside the master bedroom, the primary bedroom. It could have been an intruder. It could have been a medical anomaly.

I mean, that's highly unlikely, but we don't know. S.J. is sitting next to his wife's sister. So this is his sister-in-law. I mean, she's also grieving. I mean, she would more so be in a state of shock staring at the hallway in front of them. She's probably in more pain about losing her sister than S.J is about losing his wife,

considering they've only been together for like a year and a half. But still, the whole family is worried for S.J. He probably feels all this guilt of not having been in the room with her, but outside on the couch, leaving for work in the morning, thinking she's asleep in the bedroom when in reality she was dead in the bedroom. He's probably hit the hardest, at least right now. I mean, it's his wife after all. And then S.J. turns to his sister-in-law. So this is the deceased sister, you know? Yeah, yeah. The wife's sister. And she just distinctly remembers how odd this was.

He turns to her in the hallway in the morgue when they're performing this autopsy. And he states, You know, I'm someone with really strong sexual desires. What? She's tilting her head. She's looking at him like, this is unsolicited, unprompted information that she doesn't even know if she heard this correctly. What do you mean? I'm a person with strong desires, you know, but your sister would never let me touch her. She's sitting there trying to understand what he's telling her.

Her sister is dead, most likely murdered, and being autopsied in the room right there, and her sister's husband is telling her that he has a lot of needs? What the hell is going on right now? We would like to thank today's sponsors who have made it possible for Rotten Mango to support the national network to end domestic violence, a non-profit organization whose mission is to eradicate all partner relationship workplace and stalking violence. This episode's partnerships have also made it possible to support Rotten Mango's growing team. We'd also like to thank you guys for your continued support. As always, full show notes avail about Rotten Mango Podcast.com. A few disclaimers

for this case, there are mentions of essay and a lot of mentions of pregnancy. lost. So please watch with caution. This case also takes place in South Korea. We had our wonderful Korean translators help us with this case. However, if anything ever gets lost in translation, just please let us know in the comments. And with that being said, let's get started. How do you know Satan's not your neighbor? I think it's a good question. Okay, perhaps one that is never asked and only ever answered in typically a life-threatening manner. There is this tradition, though, in South Korea, where if you live in a big apartment building, Every now and then, you will get a ring on your doorbell.

You look at the intercom screen because a lot of these apartments will have a screen, even if someone's right outside your door. Or sometimes you look through the tiny little peephole and you have one eye open and you'll usually see one or two people that you have never seen in your entire life standing outside your apartment door very awkwardly. You don't know how they got access into the building, let alone, why are they standing at your door? You don't know.

But you look down and they're holding a paper bag with stripes. It looks festive. It looks like a gift bag. You look back up and they're now staring directly into the peephole with this awkward, polite, half smile. They know you're on the other side staring at them. You know that they know. And so now you've got to open the door.

So that's what you do. And they let you know, hi, we're the new neighbors upstairs. We just moved in. We wanted to bring you rice cakes. The tradition lives on. It's not as big as it used to be, I will say. The apartment buildings in Korea have gotten much large. it would just not be fiscally responsible to buy rice cakes for all 132 neighbors of the building.

But in smaller communities, people have stopped doing it too. I mean, it's a shame because the tradition isn't just about meeting your neighbors and being cute and being polite and bringing them rice cakes. It's to drive out evil spirits. That's the symbolism behind the rice cakes. If Satan were to live next door to you, you drive them out the building like a mass exorcism, via a red bean rice cake. That's the meaning. Satan notoriously doesn't like rice cakes.

Who would have known? I mean, obviously, it's an exaggeration of a tradition, but you get what I mean. There is a meaning behind it. And so that's why, December 2024, Heong and her husband, S.J., they are distributing rice cakes to everyone in their building.

They just got married. Neighbors in the building are actually kind of stunned because usually it's high schoolers who will come distribute the rice cakes because their parents are forcing them to do it, or it's elderly couples. But you never get two young couples who willingly, on their own accord,

decide that they're going to pass out rice cakes. It's your tradition that's dying in the younger generations, so it's actually very cute. Heong and her new husband are doing this, and if you ask anybody about Heong, if you ask anybody about S.J, they're going to say, if anyone's going to pass out rice cakes to their neighbors,

it's going to be them. Hayong and S.J. got married December 2024. One of Hayong's, friends had stood up during their wedding to make this toast. Finally, and this is verbatim, finally, a man worthy, a man with a big heart to embrace our Heong. Seeing the way you look at Heong, the way you talk to her, your tone of voice, the way you take care of her so attentively, I think as friends, we realized, maybe it's okay to let Heong get married now. I hope you guys live happily. Maybe it has to do with the fact that they're 34 when they get married. It just feels like

they were waiting for the right person. And because they're more established, they know what they want in life, they find the partner that fits perfectly. Heong's older sister, Mimi, this is a pseudonym, she's very happy because she says, I mean, it was, it was the wedding that Heong always wanted. It was her dream day. It's her dream wedding venue. It's her dream wedding dress. She was just so happy. I was just so happy. And her husband, S.J, is calling our parents, mom and dad. And it's just like one of those wholesome relationships. They kind of stand as an example for maybe why people should wait until their 30s to get married, because it feels like that's the time that you find your partner. And everything is just kind of working out. They're both incredibly

polite. They're diligent with work. They're very traditional when it comes to following customs. Example, the whole rice cake thing. Hayong's friends say, even the way that SJ, okay, sometimes it's awkward when you're hanging out with couples and then a wife or a husband snaps at the other party and now the whole entire table is uncomfortable and it just feels like ooh someone's ego's getting hurt someone's going to get into a fight it's a whole thing but they say with s jay he would just make it less awkward even for the whole friend group he would just talk back lovingly even when she's snappy and say things like see are you guys seeing this she has me totally wrapped around her finger these are real messages between the couple heyong is asking

about a gift that s j had given her and she says what is this. Thank you. Heart. He says, it's from my heart, heart emoji. I love you, my woman. I love you too, heart emoji. I miss you already. Me too. Like, it's just very, they text like they're still in the honeymoon phase. It's like they're obsessed with each other. And then two months into being what people would call, maybe even jinx, the perfect marriage. February 19th, Heong texts SJ. I think divorce is the answer. Let's get divorce papers in the morning when we wake up. Exactly a month later, so now three months into their marriage, they are still not divorced, and Heong's mom gets a phone call from S.J.

Hello? She just hears him crying on the other end, and this is again verbatim. Hello? What's going on? Why? Why? What happened to Heang? He's not responding.

He's just dry heaving, sobbing. Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Another man clearly takes the phone and his voice, I mean, this is a stranger, at least to Hayong's mom. She's never heard this man's voice before in her life. Ma'am? Ma'am?

What happened to my Heong? What's going on? I'm a police officer. Your daughter passed away between early yesterday morning and this afternoon. What? What is my son-in-law doing right now? Can I talk to him? He's completely out of it right now,

but you guys will need to discuss having Heang's body moved to a morgue to potentially be autopsied. Heyong's mom, here's S.J. in the background, and he's just like asking in a small, voice, what do I do? What do I do? And as she's listening to SJ and this man have a conversation, she starts coming down. A lot of that earlier hysteria starts slipping away because this is not happening right now. I mean, none of this is real. And she's not disassociating, at least not in this moment. She thinks this whole thing is ridiculous. She's thinking, they're getting so fucking good

at this. Like a prank? I mean, she's heard all of the news about it. Oh. Yeah. And she has to go from her hometown to Seoul to see Heung, and she says, quote, I thought it was a voice fishing scam, really. I didn't shed a single tear until I got to Seoul because I couldn't believe it. Wow. People are getting calls that their elderly parents had been kidnapped and the hostage taker needs $500 to set them free,

which is an insanely little amount of money for, I don't know, your mother-in-law dying. And so a lot of people will pay it. Some people, older parents, are posting $9,000 bail amounts for their 20-something-year-old college-age child who somehow landed themselves in jail, except they didn't. They're actually just at a frat party and they're not picking up their phone.

Others are a bit more unsettling. Parents will tuck their 10-year-old kid into bed for the night and an hour later they get a phone call that their kid has been kidnapped. And naturally, they will rush into the room to check up on their kid who is blissfully unaware and asleep in this little bed, but you can hear their exact screams through the phone.

The child is asleep. You can see that with your own two eyes, but you can also hear someone who sounds exactly like your child screaming through the phone. But with all these phone calls, there is a pattern. Everybody wants money. That's it. Money.

There was not a single mention of money in the phone call that Hayong's mom received. Hayang's older sister, Mimi, and her mom, they start rushing to the apartment that Hayong had just moved in with her husband, the newlywed apartment where they just passed out rice cakes. And it's not a scam. Her daughter, Hayong, is dead. And nobody knows why. I mean, it doesn't make sense.

She's 34 years old. She's healthy. She has no prior medical condition. She has no ailments. She just dies in her sleep in her bed. What about S.J? He says he was sleeping outside on the couch, outside of their bedroom, and then left for work in the morning.

He had no clue what happened. Just three months into their marriage, he's a widower. The most important role at a Korean funeral is the chief mourner. This is the person closest to the deceased. They will wear the white armbands. And this is the one that everyone's. sends their condolences to the chief mourner has to greet guests they have to lead all of these various ceremonies and they just have to make all the hard decisions it's also a very in korea it's a huge

emotional burden everyone is throwing their sadness at you and it's just a lot and you have to make sure that everything is done perfectly to make sure that your loved one passes on to the other side peacefully. So everything has to be in order and you have to almost put your own sadness to the side. I mean, it's such a laborist position that a lot of funeral homes will have a small resting room for the chief mourner because it's like a multi-day affair. It's just all day long. People will go to funerals and there's food served at funerals, I guess kind of like awake in America and people will bow and you have to stand right next to the casket as people are bowing and saying their goodbyes. It's just emotionally draining. People will walk into Korean

funerals and before even saying anything, giving condolences, they will ask first, who is the chief mourner? You're getting all of this exhaustion and emotions thrown at you. And Heong's older sister, Mimi, again, this is a fake name. Mimi is at the funeral. She's not the chief mourner, S.J. is, the husband. But she's just distraught because she's like, I saw my younger sister a few hours before she died in bed. It doesn't make sense. If they go by the time of death on the autopsy, which is like maybe six in the morning, she saw her at like three in the morning. So it doesn't make any sense. Heong, her husband, S.J., they had met up with Hayong's older sister, Mimi, and Mimi's friend. So it's the four of them. They're out at a restaurant drinking until

three in the morning. And she's explaining to everybody asking questions. She's like, I just, I mean, just a few hours earlier, we were having such a good time drinking together. So when I heard the news, I couldn't believe it. Well, did she notice anything weird about Hanyong the night before? Like, she can't just be happy, healthy, and then suddenly pass away, right? Her sister says, quote, I was sitting right in front of her face to face. If there had been any sort of injury or anything that seemed like she was sick, I would have asked her about it.

She didn't even seem ill. She just said that night, oh, I'm tired. I'm on my period. but it's really heavy so my body feels just exhausted and tired and this is like a really weird period that's it which again is not like the most alarming thing lots of people will say oh i don't know what's i mean i've said that a million times i don't know what's going on but my cramps are like the worst this month she did look tired but not not abnormally tired nothing that would be alarming where heyong's older sister would say oh don't like go home early don't even drink with us it was

just, oh, I'm just a little under the weather. So at this point, there's no cause of death. No. Okay. And S.J., I guess, is trying to lighten the mood that night and make his wife feel better because he's like, okay, well, everyone, let's eat, let's drink. I mean, interestingly, he's not particularly a big drinker or someone who likes to stay out and get drunk, so it's rather surprising, but they did stay out for three rounds of drinks. They don't get back home. So Mimi and her friend actually drop off Hayong and S.J. Uh-huh. Because Mimi's friend was the DD.

She's the designated driver. Okay. Heyong and her husband, they get home at 3.10 a.m. Hayong's sister says, I was too drunk to even remember getting home. My friend was the DD. We dropped off Hayong and S.J. first. And then around 4 a.m. I know this, you know, because the next day.

Heong had sent me a bunch of text messages. So, Heyong is joking. Kind of joking. It's like very sibling. But she's texting her a picture of Mimi, the older sister, passed out on the street. And with a message. You're so annoying, exclamation, exclamation. Ugh, get some sleep and just get to work safely tomorrow.

Still, you're so annoying. It's likely that people ask Mimi about S.J. too, who is obviously the chief mourner at the funeral. But how was he? How is S.J. handling all of this? Well, when I went to my sister's apartment, he was just sitting in the living room staring blankly. I kept asking him what happened, what happened.

And he wasn't in a state to talk. He just kept crying and saying, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. In the midst of the funeral, a group of men walk in, and they take S.J, the chief mourner to the corner, which is kind of odd. Okay, usually you say your condolences, just like where the chief mourner is standing, which is typically right next to all the flowers and the casket, but they take him to the side. And someone out of the, like, five guys surrounding the chief mourner, someone out of that group

reaches into their pocket and takes out handcuffs and handcuffs S.J. In front of his wife's family, his friends, his wife's casket. I mean, the minute it registers, everybody jumps up and they're just staring. They're not really sure what to do because also this is reminiscent of a very famous K-drama, marry my husband, where after the wife is deceased,

the husband gets arrested at her funeral. Before she's reincarnated. So, I mean, I don't know. But everyone is just, I mean, this is the thing that has said in hindsight by a lot of people. So everybody is jumping up, they're staring, they don't really know what to do, but they're panicked.

I mean, these are detectives. You're being arrested on suspicion of murdering your wife, Heong. The people interviewed at Hayang's funeral would say, it felt unreal. It felt disconnected from reality. It almost felt theatrical in a weird way. Because S.J. instantly,

as he's being dragged out of the funeral home, he's screaming, it's not me. mother-in-law like oh moni you have to believe me it's not me and then with his hands cuffed behind his back he does a 90 degree bow to heyong's father and he's like i'll be back i'll be back it's not me and then his eyes are wide open he looks hysterical he looks bug-eyed and then heyong's sister mimi and her friends notice the corner of his lips lift up like he can't help but smile What? There is a website that talks about how to have the perfect marriage, how to satisfy both partners and the union, and it reads,

a wife cannot flatly refuse her husband. She may only ask for a rain check, and then she needs to make good on that rain check as quickly as possible. A husband has the right to confront his wife's sexual refusal as a sin, not only against him, but also against God. A husband ought not to feel guilty for having sex with his wife when she is not in the mood if she yields even grudgingly. A husband needs to use prayerful discernment to discover if her reasons for, quote, not being in the mood are for legitimate physical or mental health reasons,

or if the problem is wrong thinking and wrong attitude on the part of his wife. Listen, I'm not a religious person, nor do I think the blog author of this website is a religious person either. However, with an appropriate amount of common sense, I can easily tell you that if you have to ask God why your wife doesn't want to sleep with you, the problem is within. But because this man knows how to write words and string together somewhat grammatically correct sentences, he wants the world to see and applaud his very mediocre grasp of the English language. he continues, if her reasons are legitimate, then she needs to seek medical or psychological help as soon as possible. Most people think of sexual immorality as only someone having sex outside of

marriage. But remember that when something is immoral, that means it is a sin, and we know that sexual denial in marriage is a sin. Therefore, it is accurate to call willful sexual denial in marriage an act of sexual immorality. Intelligence is not a requirement to have access to our working keyboard to clickety clack and unfortunately stupidity is something that some people like this author can work towards being the best at you know truly excel at after all it is a man's prerogative right he continues bivocally speaking the husband is the spiritual authority in his home and he has the biblical obligation to first attempt to discipline his wife as she is his responsibility only when he has exhausted all forms of discipline and she remains defiant and divorces looming should he approach

a counselor to act as a witness to her sin. It goes on to say the forms of discipline a husband should use if the wife does not want to have intimate relations with a husband is not to take a shower, to take a self-help class, not to get your own ducks in order because something's probably wrong with you. They say, stop taking her on dates or trips. Which is like, a surefire way to never get what you want. But okay, another step includes, you know there's dinners that you cook or the vacuuming you do?

You know, just like basic chores of someone who lives in a place of shelter and they should be doing. You know those things that really she should be doing but you have simply been trying to be nice and doing for her? Stop doing them.

Stop giving her those nice back and shoulder massages she loves so much. And then it says if she is financially dependent on you, remove all funding for her aside from food and shelter. And if she still doesn't listen, the last few steps are, rebuke her before witnesses and bring her before the church.

They end it with a good old, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Well, once you bought the cow, you are supposed to get the milk for free. I fear that this website is not reflective of Christian values or Christian husbands or happy husbands. However, it is reflective of people who do exist. in the ether.

There are married partners out there who firmly believe that after marriage, they are entitled to sex. There is a whole subreddit that you can go on called R slash Change My View. And we've talked about this forum before,

but people go there to never change their view. Like, nobody ever changes their view on there. They go to get off on the arguments in the comments. I don't know why this sub even exists, okay? But it is interesting to read. So I get the appeal. However, views are never changed. And the way that the poster

written, I mean, you're thinking, I mean, how could you have a separate view aside from this one? That doesn't make sense. One Reddit post reads, change my view. Marriage does not entitle anyone to sex. In the old days, men were legally allowed to our word women within marriage. It was not considered our word at all. It goes on to continue and argue that in order for our word culture to be undone, we are going to have to reconceive marriage utterly in such a way that nobody will ever be under pressure to give up their rights to their body and let their bodies be taken in marriage, which I don't really think is a hot take. I mean, there were some arguments for like semantic interpretation of the post,

but one person, probably a guy, responds, how far does your view extend? Does it say extend to marriage doesn't guarantee you access to a man's wealth or resources? I love when people just like have imaginary money that they're hoarding from like potential gold diggers. You've never seen the money. We don't see the money. What are we talking about right now? Just like make-belief stuff.

But they go on, or is it just your view that sex is the only place? You get a choice. Another person has a less polarizing, yet differing viewpoint writing. Depends on what you consider entitled to. Everyone is entitled to be in a relationship that meets their emotional and physical needs.

This includes sex. If the relationship doesn't meet said needs, whatever they may be, then a person has the right to complain, to discuss it, to work it out, or to leave. if the needs cannot be met. So while you are correct that marriage does not give you the right to R word someone by forcing

them to have sex, you are entitled to have your emotional and physical needs for intimacy and sex met by your spouse and to be disgruntled if they're not doing so. Another one responds very weirdly. I agree, but I must ask, why the hell would you marry or stay married to someone who doesn't want to have sex with you? Another person writes, I would say sex is basically part of the marital contract.

I mean, you're basically just friends. or roommates otherwise, which you wouldn't need all the legal complications of marriage for that. So yeah, you are entitled to sex from your partner. And then you click on like a suggested change my view. A woman who expects her husband to completely devote himself sexually to her yet refuses to have sex with him is both selfish and cruel. If a woman refuses to have intimate relations with her husband, the husband then has every moral right to check out women, flirt, view videos, and even in certain cases,

cheat. A woman has every right to refuse sex if she doesn't want it, but freedom to choose also means a prohibition on a man from having any sexual outlet whatsoever is very wrong. Cheating is a violation of exclusive sexual intimacy, but in a sexless marriage, there is no sexual intimacy had. I will say that aside from people having medical conditions or some sort of psychological reasoning of not wanting to be intimate with their partner. Typically, your partner not wanting to be intimate with you is usually something wrong with you, if that makes sense. Like these husbands, I would say that this is not the majority of married couples or reflective of husbands or anything like that. It's just such an odd thing. It's weird.

But there are people that are very serious about it, not even just on our slash change my view. There are people that will write things on Reddit like, if you get married, you are essentially signing away your sexual consent in exchange for financial and emotional and relationship stability. If neither party is ready to give up on their autonomy, then they shouldn't get married because breaking those technically voids the marriage contract. Saying no to a husband simply isn't an option unless you're physically incapable, which might be the case after an argument or if you're sick or whatever,

with a boyfriend, all bets are off, you didn't say any vows, do what you want. Remember when, honey, I have a headache used to be something people joked about? That was back when the marriage commitment was taken more seriously, and that was only 10-ish years ago. Nowadays, you don't even need an excuse to turn your husband down, and it's disgusting that this has become acceptable in society after people have made marriage vows stating the opposite. The more alarming part is there are a lot of women who agree with this viewpoint, and there is a Reddit thread where one woman writes, I told my friends I never say no to intimate relations except for serious illness or injury, which my husband wouldn't ask for intimate relations if that were actually painful or dangerous. But there are times when I'm tired and technically not in the mood, sure, but I would never say no.

My friends felt like that was horrible and degrading. I think a lot of couples are in the never say no camp, not because they're not allowed to say no, but just because people have good times with their partners and usually your partner will know when to initiate. and by that point, everybody's in the mood, everyone's excited, so you don't really end up saying no. But the reasoning that she gives for never saying no, this is her life, it's her dream, but it's interesting. She writes, the way I see it is before marrying my husband,

he could have sex with so many women. He made the choice to marry me and just be with me. As a good wife, I want him to feel I'm available to him whenever he wants and needs. Even if I'm tired, I put an effort. If he's in the sauna and the other men are complaining about their sexless marriages, I want him to be able to say, oh, my wife never says no. A fake, imaginary, steamy, hot, sweaty sauna session

between a bunch of dudes is like the strangest thing to revolve your life around as a wife, but like here we are. Unfortunately, this seems to be a much bigger sentiment than I thought. S.J. falls directly into this group. His friends say, S.J. has a unique outlet. looks on marriage relationships. He would say to us all the time, if I can't have sex with my

wife, where am I supposed to get it? Should I go pay for it? But like, he was drunk. Or he would say things like, look, if I want to, she needs to do it. That's what marriage is. But again, he was drunk. So maybe he was, you know, I mean it. Four months before getting married, Heong and S.J are on their way back from a big friend vacation in Vietnam. This is August of 24. They land touchdown at Incheon Airport in South Korea. Heong feels odd. She goes to the restroom and within minutes there are ambulances outside of the airport. She is being rushed out. There is blood everywhere. It is so much blood because she is, she's miscarrying. Six months into dating Heong, S.J. and Heong had gotten pregnant. They actually found out a few days before going

to Vietnam. This is like a trip that they had planned for weeks with their friends. But Heong, who has always wanted to start a family. She's so happy about being pregnant. She even immediately asked so in Korea you get like the pregnant woman badge and you can use it at subway stations or like on the train or in public transport because a lot of women don't show immediately or during winter you don't see it. And it's in Korea it's a big deal. You do not sit in the pregnant woman section if you're not pregnant. So that's why they hand out these badges. She even got that. She got all these pamphlets about her pregnancy. And she keeps asking her doctor like, are you sure? I'm safe to travel. Just to give you some context, I think she found out a week before,

like a few days before she's set to go to Vietnam. The doctor is like, you're going to be fine. I mean, everybody is different. However, you're going to be fine. You're cleared for travel. This should not be alarming. You're very early into your pregnancy. You're going to be okay. It's not even that long of a flight. Hayang dots all of her eyes. She crosses all of her teas. And then when she touches back in Seoul, the baby that she had wanted so bad, badly, she ends up miscarrying. Wow. But this is the part where it's just like odd.

There is a text message from S.J. to Heong the day after she miscarries. And it reads, It's fine as long as you and I are healthy. We can make another baby. I feel so inadequate and foolish. I'm so sorry. Why would you need to apologize? Is he just apologizing because she's going through something so traumatic?

Right. Heyong's friends say, when she was pregnant he wanted to do it they did it once after she found out she was pregnant and there was a little bit of blood and so she was really worried for the baby so she kept refusing to have intimate

relations after that they fought about it and she told us that she ended up having sex again even though she didn't want to and then she ended up miscarrying nurses see a lot that's an understatement nurses have probably seen more of me than my own husband

which sounds crazy but my husband has never pried my mouth open, shoved a flashlight down my throat to see if there's like a foreign body lodged in my throat after a particularly intense meal. Okay, so these nurses, they see a lot and they see a lot about people's personalities, especially couples. One Reddit thread from a nurse writes, husbands in the delivery room often do more harm than good. In my view, the husband in the delivery room often can't provide meaningful support and may even create more stress. Many people frame fathers being in the delivery room as a romantic or heroic act as if witnessing every moment is required to be a good dad. In reality, the practical benefit to the mother is

often minimal. A husband who stays outside handling logistics, communicating with family members can actually provide more meaningful support. Would you have a lot of people disagreeing? I would also disagree saying that women are the most safe in medical situations, especially childbirth when they're relaxed and comfortable and feel supported. However, there are a lot of nurses fighting back saying, yeah, in a perfect world, but most husbands, they're on their phones the entire time while their wife is in labor, or sometimes they're causing more distress, making their wives feel more pressure, or they're not being helpful with other family members that are hounding, giving their 10 cents to the wife about how they should approach childbirth.

One woman writes, my husband went downstairs to charge his phone and call his mom from the car. When I called him an hour later, because I was nine centimeters dilated, he said that he was at Sam's buying tepaware. Teppaware. Another wife writes, my husband asked if he could borrow one of my pillows because his back hurt and I had too many. The nurse is he at all.

And for Heong, it's not just a miscarriage, which is already very traumatizing. Hayong actually suffers from a very rare condition that only one in 30,000 women have, where she has a miscarriage, which a miscarriage is when you have a fertilized egg in the uterus, and the pregnancy is not going to come full term, so you miscarry, right? But she also has an ectopic pregnancy at the same time.

So Heong's ectopic pregnancy goes unnoticed for a while, because this is really rare. So if you don't know, an ectopic pregnancy is when you have a fertilized egg, but it doesn't end in the uterus. It's outside the uterus. A lot of the times it's in the fallopian tube, and this is very dangerous. You can die. You can very easily die if you have an ectopic pregnancy because that fertilized egg is going to start growing. And a fallopian tube is not like a uterus where it's meant to bear a child.

It's not going to stretch. So what it'll do is it'll burst and then you will be heavily internally bleeding until probably you die unless you get emergency help. It's very dangerous. So she has an ectopic pregnancy outside of the uterus and she had a miscarriage inside the uterus. So with all of that, a lot of the symptoms of the ectopic pregnancy, she thought that it was from the miscarriage. So it goes for a very long time that she doesn't realize that she has this life-threatening condition.

And eventually, once it is realized there has been so much damage done, that the doctors tell her that they need to have emergency surgery and remove that fallopian tube. Wait, so when was that surgery or? This is before the wedding. So this is like a month after, so around September. wow so like there's so much happening like they came back from vietnam she miscarried and then the the surgery and then the wedding yeah and then three months later this is just like in six months wow so he young is texting her sister about what's going on i had surgery with one philopian tube removed there were also two uterine cysts when they opened it up and they were black and about to burst so in korea it's not as common in the united states i think in the u s

a lot of the times it is the nurse's duty to feed patients who cannot eat by themselves. In South Korea, unless you're in very specific, like intensive care units, a lot of the times it's up to the family members to feed the patient. So the nurses, they will bring all the nutritious hospital meals that have all of the requirements and they'll make sure that you're eating and they'll check up on you. But a lot of the times, unless you're in like the ICU, a lot of the nurses depend on the family members to provide care. So family members will do shifts.

If you've got work, then someone's doing like a breakfast shift. If someone's doing a lunch shift, someone's doing a dinner shift, it's just a thing that happens in Korea. I don't know if it's embedded in the health care system or if it's just like a societal thing that is built into the communities and the families. I don't know, but it's a thing. So every time Heong is recovering from the surgery, she's laying there. Every time the nurses bring food, Heang doesn't want to eat.

She has no appetite. She doesn't want to do this. She's exhausted. And it's up to the family member. to airplane that spoon, to beg, to plead, to negotiate that your loved one eat the hospital food. S.J. is supposed to be spoon feeding her, but because she doesn't want to eat, he is sitting there eating every single meal that gets delivered. And every single nurse that walks by is judging the shit out of him.

Heong has no appetite. She feels too weak to eat. And eventually, she's getting annoyed by him. She's sick of seeing his face. And she tells him, you know what, go home and just feed the dogs. He ends up going home. she checks the home camera and he's not just feeding the dogs he ordered himself a pizza plop on the couch and is watching tv and munching while she's recovering from this ectopic pregnancy

which he got her pregnant and he's just at home eating pizza so understandably with all of this like trauma and pain and the emotions hey young tells her friends she just feels really disappointed in him like she just doesn't like this but worse is that one month after the this. So this is again, still before the marriage. One month after, there are text messages between the two where Heong is telling him, ever since the pregnancy and the miscarriage, my body has been so weak. Everything changed suddenly. It's been hard to adjust. There's just, I'm just exhausted. He responds, when we're tired, we should support and lean on each other. Yeah, what you're saying is right, but you only want one form of affection expression, and I only have one body. So,

he's saying you and I are both tired and when couples are tired we need to depend on each other and she's like the only way that you think you can depend on me is for sex and I can't have sex right now that's crazy so he's asking for sex yes basically one month after the surgery she texts him if we tried it once and it hurts shouldn't you think that maybe my body hasn't recovered yet it hasn't even been a month yet the scar on the outside of my body hasn't healed how could the wound inside my uterus be healed? S.J responds, well, the doctor said we should return to daily life in a month. That is crazy.

Which, by the way, that is a suggestion. Usually, I mean, doctors are all over the place. Some doctors, I was on Reddit of women who were recovering from similar surgeries. They say their doctors said two weeks, you can return to normal life. Some people said a month, six weeks. And these are guidelines. Usually the rule of thumb is when you want to return to normal life, especially when it comes to sex because it's not like, oh, my arm broke, I can't have sex for a month. It's like you're

talking about the exact same body parts. Hayong feels like this is happening because of an act we did together, but alone I have to suffer and yet my body is still an object of desire for you. Like it doesn't make sense. She's texting her friends in frustration. After the miscarriage and the fallopian tube removal. It hasn't even been a month, but the doctor said it was okay to have intercourse after a month. So he keeps whining, and we did it.

And I didn't say anything, but it just really hurts my feelings. Her friends are upset. Why didn't you say anything? Someone else is responding, God, this must be really hard for you. Hayong text S.J. Stop whining.

And like, this, I will say, it's like, it's like, um, okay, usually there are different Korean words sometimes there's not like the exact word that you can use in English when you have someone who is complaining like a husband who is complaining it's a very different vibe but the word she uses

is like ching ching ting ching it's like very much like like when kids are like ching ting like I want to do this I want to do it like that was his energy that's the word she uses otherwise you could use stop complaining stop nagging like there's other words you could use But tzinging-goggi-goying is very infantile.

It's like what kids do. Like you really only use it. I would say that my parents treat me like a giant child still, but they still don't tell me, don't tinge-g-gare-oh-because it's such a specific thing. Right, like, yeah, it's not just whining. It's like very, uh... Yeah, that's so weird. It's like that rhythmic tantrum, usually.

because ding-ting, it's almost like an onomatopoeia. It's like a sound. And he responds. If I don't initiate skinship first, we never have skinship. Skinship, by the way, is like the Korean term for touch and sexual activities. They call it skinship.

I'm just asking you to love me as much as I love you. or even just a little. There's a famous Pilates studio in South Korea called Diana Pilates. It's a 6,000 square foot. It uses the entire ninth floor of a glass-down building. I mean, you see the whole view of the other buildings, the mountains in the back.

It's beautiful. A lot of good K-dramas were filmed inside of this studio. I feel like it was really popular during the Pilates hype during COVID. And then they started doing some reinvention. Once the reformer Pilates started slughey started slowing down they went into flying Pilates which is when you get like put on the bungee cord and you just oh yeah the one that you hop around yeah it was really popular in korea i think that

it's probably not a tried and true tested form of working out in the sense of i'm sure you get a lot of results but it becomes like a thing where people don't know about it or they have to find out about it it almost feels like a trend you know how there's always trends for workouts so they switched to this, a lot of the flying Pilates, and eventually the membership does take a dive with Diana Pilates. And then this definitely makes it worse. There's a new notice on the front door that reads, following the traffic accident, the director, S.J. His spouse has passed away, and S.J remains in critical condition in the ICU. The current owner of the building who knows of the director's sincerity has arranged it so that the members can continue using the facilities without

any inconvenience or charge. Members may rest assured and continue using the premises as usual. We will continue to repay you with a better environment and service. We ask for your attention and your support. Wait, is he the owner or he's the... Yes, S.J. is the owner of this Pilates branch. Interesting. Yeah. And this notice goes up after Heyong dies, but there was no car accident. Heyong did not die in a car accident. S.J. is not in the ICU. In fact, he's getting arrested as the main suspect for Heong's murder. Oh, so they're trying to hide it, hide the fact, I see. S.J is defensive. He's asking the officer, what are you saying that I did this?

We didn't say that, but was Hayong sick? And these are direct quotes. Why are you asking me? What did I do wrong? S.J. tells the police, I have no idea what happened that night. He explains they came home after drinking, and even with drinking, Heong has really intense insomnia. so the typical routine is that he sleeps outside on the couch until she can fall asleep inside the bedroom and then he'll quietly go into the bedroom and sleep.

She has trouble falling asleep, but once she's asleep, she's not a light sleeper. He goes into the room a few hours later, and he knows for certain she's knocked out. He's like, which by the way, I'm not like awake for all of this. I fell asleep with the TV on outside in the sofa. I woke up early in the morning to go use the restroom, and that's when I was like, oh, she's definitely asleep. Let me go sleep in the bedroom. I moved back into the bedroom, I lay down next to Hayong, and then I wake back up to go to work,

and she's still asleep, so I'm letting her sleep in. He explains that when he gets to work, however, normally Heang will wake up a little bit after that, even if she had been drinking the night before, but she doesn't text. He calls her four times around 2 p.m. She doesn't pick up. How are you still asleep till 2 p.m.? He's like, this is weird. He runs home, she's dead on the bed, he calls emergency services, and that's all he knows.

he doesn't know anything else. I mean, to some degree, this is all very trackable. There is CCTV footage of him leaving the apartment to go to work at around 10 in the morning. His body language looks nonchalant. 10 a.m. in the morning? He goes to work? Yeah.

But she was, you know, she has passed since 6. Yeah. Right. Okay. And he looks really relaxed. He starts walking in the direction that work is. But when the police ask his employees if he got there as he normally does, they say, well, no, March 13th was weird. he didn't come in he usually comes into the studio by 11 but he wasn't there he did text me though so

one of the Pilates instructors is like he texted me around like 1 30 asking me about my paycheck it's just like a normal conversation about the pay step that was it then he calls his wife four times she doesn't pick up he rushes home and then calls emergency services heyong's friends have problems with this because it's very nonsensical what do you mean a completely healthy 30-year-old who, by the way, she has been very health conscious. She's not the type to notice something wrong with her body and hope for the best. She's getting a checkup. What do you mean?

She just passes away in her sleep. She didn't drink heavily the night before. And when she, it's not like she threw up. There's no evidence of throw up. There's no evidence that she was so drunk she couldn't get up and she choked on her vomit, which is a very real concern. She just passes away peacefully. There's just no way.

Looking at the autopsy results, she has a bruise on her upper lip on the left side, a faint, very faint bite on her lower lip. So again, these are all things that she could have self-inflicted as maybe she's choking or asphyxating or, you know, something. But one thing you can't explain is this very faint red line around her neck. Always supposed to believe that she was wearing a scarf when she went to sleep or that there was a random string on the bed that she laid in, rolled over, somehow tied it around her neck to spixiate on by herself.

It doesn't make sense. One of the neighbors in the building, the one right below Heong and S.J. They say that night they did hear something weird. So much so that they even reached out to Heong the next day to make sure everything was okay. What did you hear? We're light sleepers, pretty sensitive.

So we normally actually just block out normal life sounds. So if we hear someone thumping or someone, it sounds like someone dropped their phone or stomping, you kind of learned to disregard it living in an apartment but that night it was a strange and unfamiliar sound

it felt like something dragging like heavy like if you were to drag furniture but it doesn't make like the you know how legs furniture legs will make like the squeaky sounds it's not that

it's like if you were to drag a mattress it's like fabric or like it's just something heavy and soft and then we heard this really weird flapping sound

it was kind of like padaguered Like, like, pada-goreen-a-pa-da-pada, like a bird. Okay, so the word is like the bird wings trying to flap, but you're holding onto the bird. That's kind of the feeling. It's like a flapping noise. It's not like a thumping noise, it's like a flapping noise.

It's like a very specific noise. And like that, you just don't expect that to hear from a neighbor in the middle of soul. And then a strange, like, ugh, noise. Like, ugh. almost as if someone is like breathing out like that's really like clear they can hear very clearly and it sounded like a woman it didn't sound like a man and that lasted maybe about like 30 seconds they didn't think much of it i mean they might have thought if it was something else maybe but the next morning they see a bunch of police officers so they start freaking out and that's when

they text hang and they find out that she's gone the flapping noise how long did you say it lasted that they don't know but they said it lasted a while like all of this and then the sounded like choking for like 30 seconds yeah now this is where it's weird there are home cameras inside the house which is typically odd people don't really like to have home cameras inside especially with um a lot of recent developments so this was earlier in 2025 but recent developments of a lot of South Korean home cameras getting hacked for intimate websites, like illegal websites.

But Heong had these two dogs, and they were 15. She's had them for 15 years. So she just wanted to make sure they're okay when she's out at work. Her family is like, we got to look at the house cameras. If we don't know what happened in the house, just look at the house cameras. They get Hayong's phone. Not only is the footage gone, the app for the house camera is gone. It's like if someone has a ring camera, you get their phone.

and the ring app has been deleted. Wow. What do you mean? So eventually, SJ changes his story because none of this is adding up, the asphyxiation, the way that she died, the evidence, there's no evidence that an intruder had entered the home.

The home cameras had been deleted. He is the only one that could have done something. He changes his story and he says, fine, I killed my wife, but it was an accident. He says that they had gotten into a drunk fight and all he did was push her because she was trying to get physical and that led to her hitting her head and passing away. The injuries don't line up with that story.

She doesn't have any lacerations on the back of her head. How do you explain the marking around her neck? How do you explain the fact that her cause of death was manual asphyxiation? And what's crazy is he starts blaming Heang. He says that she was looking down on his family. So he actually got upset, not because he is a volatile, violent man, but because he had to defend his family. This is like family honor.

He had to stand up for them. S.J. will later try to claim that he had read messages on Hayong's phone where she is talking to her girlfriends about his disabled mother and that because of his disabled mother, Heong did not want to have kids with him because she was concerned this is a condition that could be passed down to their child.

Authorities go through their chat logs. This is what they find. Heong texts her friend. So he's saying she's like a filthy person. She's evil. She was shit talking my disabled mother. Right, right. she texts her friends my mother-in-law can hardly speak or walk when I go there I just end up sitting with her for a while before coming back but estuary says he's happy that I talk to her and I make her smile then later in the group chat heyong texts her friends why did I marry this piece of shit so it's like no one really responds and then she texts this yeah he's trying to argue it's because of his disabled mother she's texting that but just listen to the rest of the messages why what happened I'm not getting

pregnant by this motherfucker. I'm not going to have his baby. Huh? Actually, I would rather get pregnant and not have to have sex with him for a whole year. He actually argued with me saying you promise twice a week. Why aren't you keeping your word? Wait, but it's not like you guys aren't doing it. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's not like I refuse for a whole month or anything. We did it. And then the next day, the shithead just keeps starting again. He's just completely obsessed with sex. I feel like he's lost his mind. Why did you even marry him then? Another friend chimes in. I mean, you must have married him because there was something good about him, right? I thought he would be a good husband. I didn't know he was sex obsessed. Clearly, she still wants to have children with him, though, because later

she writes, the doctor said it would be better to remove my other fallopian tube too, but they told me that they could go ahead in the surgery and get rid of both, but I told them I would discuss it with my husband first and then get discharged. Either way, I think I'm going to try IVF. But as the police go further down into their text logs, they find more messages from Heong to S.J., because, I mean, none of these motives make any sense. It's clear that he did not accidentally kill her in a drunken fight, which not that that would absolve anything, but it just doesn't make any sense. Hayong's messages to S.J. read, but we always end up fighting because of physical contact. He responds, I want to be close to you because I love you.

If two people love each other and feel good together, isn't it natural to have sex? I don't want to right now. If this keeps happening, we really can't keep seeing each other. Okay, I won't push you anymore. Then right before they get married, S.J. texts Hanyang. Why do it if I'm the only one who enjoys it? It should be something that we both want. Fine, from now on, we're not going to fight about sex anymore.

Heang is upset by this. She's like, we already had this conversation. about the same exact thing. Then another, from S.J. to Heong. Don't say that you want to break up. There's nothing wrong between us. Heong is agitated. You know, this is the first time I've ever told you that I want to break up, right?

It's because I don't respond to your physical affection the way you want, and I can't match the level of affection that you expect. Let's just stop here. Honestly, it would be better for you to meet someone who fits your needs because I can't do it anymore. The police investigate, and they find that in the time, toxicology reports, there were sleeping drugs in Heong's system when she died. She would never take these drugs, these sleeping medications after drinking. She was really big on that. She thought that any sort of medication mixed with alcohol was like a surefire way to die. She would tell her sister,

like if you drink and take anything, like any sort of medication, you will die. The prosecutors believe that S.J approached Heong in the morning. Asked for intimate relations. She is having a very heavy period. So it's kind of complicated in the sense of she was not actively miscarrying when she passes away, but it seems like there are lots of complications that were occurring after the miscarriage, after the ectopic pregnancy, after the surgery. And this period, it wasn't just like a, oh, I'm just having a rough menstrual cycle this month. It seems like this is the after effects of everything that's happened. She's having really heavy bleeding. she's feeling unwell.

He approaches her in the morning, asks for intimate relations. She denies it. And then he decides that he is going to impulsively kill her. That's how he describes it. But that impulsion lasts 12 hours later. So that's in the morning. She denies having intimate relations.

Oh, that's after the night out. No. Oh, wait. So earlier before the night out, he asks for intimate relations. Yeah. She says no. Yeah.

So then they go out, they have a good time, and then he's very upset. He ends up killing her that night. She'd come back, fell out that night. Yeah. It's just... This is premeditated. Yeah. So is that what they...

That's what the police come to, and there is a whole, like a behavioral psychologist that works for the police. They stated, I don't think this is a matter of sexual desire. So a lot of people are saying, okay, is this like a sex addict that is mixed with someone who has murderous tendencies? Not that we're finding excuses, but we're just trying to understand the concept of this because how does somebody, how does a husband murder his wife because she doesn't want to have intimate relations? Usually you hear of husbands who are having affairs. You hear of husbands for ABC and DE reasons. This feels a little out of the norm. The behavioral psychologist says,

I don't think this was a matter of sexual desire. If it's just really high sexual desire, he could have been sexually obsessed with other women as well. But that doesn't seem to be the case. This seems to be about control. Always. Yeah. They found other messages where he would text Heyong,

like, don't ever think about cheating on me because I will track you down and I will kill you. Now, I know a lot of people love to victim blame and they're going to be like, oh, well, she should have left and not gotten married if he threatened to kill her. But I will also say, that even in English I think that there's miscommunication of like I'll kill you like I'll kill you if you do something

like I guess some people could think it as cute but in Korean it's even more so because like the term Yeah or like Oh shoot you want to die It's like people say that a lot Like if someone is late for something It's very common for family members to be like Oh shoot by it's like I'm gonna kill them

so it was probably texted in that format but i mean there were some alarming things about him and again this is not me saying like oh she should have left he's the problem clearly but there is one time where hayung's friends said they were in the car driving and this is in Seoul they get into a fight he just stops the car in the middle of the road there's cars honking behind him and if you've ever driven in Seoul if you've taken a taxi in Seoul i mean it's like like New York City. People don't play. Yeah. They're honking. He just stopped and will not stop fighting.

The psychiatrist comments, from the perspective of someone like the perpetrator, the victim leaving and becoming another man's wife was unimaginable. So it seems like she had brought up divorce in February. They don't end up getting the divorce, but things are progressing worse and worse. She rejects his advances. He decides, okay, she's definitely going to leave me then. and then decides with the lack of control, the anger and his bizarre feelings towards having intimate relations with his wife, he kills his wife.

And they write, you know, in other words, if I can't have her, I will destroy her. The case goes to trial. He's sentenced to 25 years in prison. A lot of people think that there could be more to the case in terms of he was alone with his deceased wife's body. hours people are suspicious of what he could have done yeah what are those sounds him choking her and i don't know where the dragging noises though if she was fighting and then she ended up on the ground and they're dragging in a tussle i don't know if maybe he choked her

somewhere else and then dragged her to the bed but heyung's mom still keeps photos from the wedding day in her house, but she has cut out S.J. out of all of them. And Heong's friends say it's been really hard. And also, this is a thing with SJ, we don't know his name. We don't know what he looks like because of the identity protection rules in South Korea.

In fact, we weren't really supposed to know who Heong is, what she looks like, or anything about her, but her parents wanted her to be revealed because they said, you will never understand what was taken from us if you don't see, like, the beauty in our girl if you don't know who she is. That's so rare. Yeah, and I think a lot of, a lot of Heong's friends see this as a way to prevent.

I think it's different. So I think everywhere, but especially in places like East Asia, marriage is seen as like, you have to get married. It's the next step of your life. And so a lot of people are using this case, amongst other cases, to be like, hey, you really don't have to get married. because if you marry the wrong person, you could also be dead. Heong's friends say whenever I'm struggling or I'm frustrated or I'm happy,

I want to call Heong and I can't call her. And I think about her every single day of my life. And that is the case that recently went viral on Instagram where it was just like a headline of like, husband in South Korea kills wife because she said no to sex during her period but it's just so there's so much going on aside from that what are your thoughts in this case let me know in the comments be safe and I will see you in the next one